#i think harry should snap and fuck shit up

[stoneflakes]

❗You just unlocked anger issues for the 16-year-old❗

#usm #ultimate spider-man #ultimate spider man #harry osborn #peter parker #norman osborn #otto octavius #bad quality :) #i think harry should snap and fuck shit up #he deserves it sooo much

[lunetoone]

dont ignore me

s: harry cant stop looking at cho, leading to you ignoring him for a period of days. he can't handle it so he decides to disperse the situation himself.

harry j potter x fem!reader

five days. five days you've neglected harry, five days youve neglected his needs for you and his desperate need of your attention. he tries so hard to talk to you before you leave potions class but you talk to pansy so lively without sparing him a glance.

the reasoning behind the avoidance was he couldn't keep his eyes off of cho five days prior. sure you two arent in a relationship but does that mean all the late nights hookups and secret kisses in between classes meant nothing to him?

you skipped dinner that night, eager to finish the book you've picked up a couple days back. the girls dorm was empty, setting your mind at ease, just the thought of the quiet book read is making you excited. although upon opening your dorm room you find yourself quite surprise, or interested.

harry james potter, the boy who lived, a powerful wizard on his knees staring up at you with glossy eyes. you fight back a smirk, "what are you doing doing here potter." you cross your arms trying your best to not jump and giggle at this sight.

"please, look at me in class" he grabs your hand and place your palm on his cheek, leaning on it "please, touch me like this when nobody is looking" the desperateness of his voice made you tingle. he brought your palm to his lips, kissing it while his eyes focused on your own pupils. "i miss you, stop ignoring me. I'll make it up to you"

you wanted to strip naked right then and there with the way hes looking at you. "why should i? go get cho to do these things to you" a tear ran down his cheeks and you felt yourself becoming more excited by the second. your palm now in-between his hands, hes holding it dear "i want you, please i dont need cho, just you." his begging so nicely how could you deny?

"show me how much you really want me then" with no hesitation he stands up and pull you in a kiss, hands having its own mind exploring your beautiful body.

you melt in the kiss, your hands on his chest gradually going lower. when your hands reach his lower abdomen his breath hitches and you smirk in the kiss. his hand now on your neck pulling you further in the kiss. you hands tease on his crotch, palming it harry lets out a high pitch moan. "shit y/n, its been five days i might explode just by your touch"

you laugh at his joke, he continues kissing you, his mouth now on your neck. your hands palm his clothed cock slowly, teasing it by stroking it up and down. his moans and pauses from kissing you indicates just how much hes been waiting on this. you decide to tease him further by kissing his neck, the beautiful moans he lets out was music to your ears. the teasing of his dick and the feeling of your warm tongue on his neck is sending waves of pleasure to harry.

you push him on your bed on get on top of him, grinding your clothed wet cunt on his own clothes private. his head now in the nook of your neck hand gripping your waist tightly. you let out a small moan in his ear and bite it playfully and harry just snapped.

"ah.. fuck y/n" he bites your neck and moans, body flinching and breaths faced. "oh my god harry did you just-" "please, im embarrassed as it is, don't point it out" you laugh to yourself and he sits up properly, pouting.

they way his hair clung to his forehead from sweat made you lick your lips. "ill make it up to you y/n.. just dont tell anybody about this" "oh.. i dont know, i think ron and hermione would love this story" you gasp in surprise when he grabs you by the waist to pin you down, body hovering over you. "you won't find it so funny when i fuck that attitude out of you"

"dont forget harry, we're just friends" "fuck that, tonight we're more than friends.. im going to-" his seducing words were cut off by giggles of girls outside the door, "just when it was getting good"

"harry??? how am i going to explain this?" "dont worry love, ive brought my invisibility cloak" he kisses your lips and puts on the cloak, just in time for the girls to come in. "oh y/n! there you are, im surprised you aren't with harry, he too wasn't at dinner. i hope you two still aren't fighting" hermione puts her books on the table, while looking at you concerning. you stare at the spot harry was on knowing he's still there "dont worry hermione, all is well" you wink to the blank wall and smile to yourself.

#harry potter #harry potter smut #harry james potter smut #harry james potter #gryffindor #harry potter boys #gryffindor smut #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry

[pleasingforharry]

I know it was headcannon but you should definitely explore y/n’s anxiety (panic attacks) more and how Harry learns to help her through them and how it makes him feel to have caused her to have one, idk I just have them too so it really made me feel seen

Of course! Let's do it.

-

college!harry x quiet!yn

-

Her hands leaked with sweat, so she rolled them down the fabric of her jeans. Her body was beaming hot, but also shivering from some unbeknownst cold. Her teeth bled into her lips. But after the wince of pain from her strength, she let them go with a puffed breath.

Fuck.

Y/N hated this. She hated when this happened. And as much as she wanted to curl into a ball in her boyfriend's arms, she couldn't. She shouldn't. She wouldn't. Especially because she didn't want him to know. Especially because she was embarrassed when it happened. Especially because she didn't want to be a disturbance. Especially because she didn't want to annoy him, to bother him, to anger him.

Especially because he was the reason she was feeling this way.

"Okay, I'm done with this. I'm leaving," Harry growled, storming for the door of Y/N's dorm. "I can't do this, right now."

"Fine then, fucking leave. Go!" Y/N barked back, but feeling the opposite up in her head. Wait no, don't leave. Stay!

"What do you think I'm doing?" Harry snapped at her over his shoulder. His steps were long, making their argument short.

"Being a stubborn asshole, is what you're doing." Y/N couldn't control the words that trickled out her mouth.

She was a whole different person when she was upset. And she'd pay for the consequences later.

"Me?" Harry scoffed, spinning around to face his girlfriend. "You're the one who's being stubborn."

"Don't fucking put this on me! This whole argument started because of you," Y/N shot back, her finger sharply pointing at him.

Harry wanted to explode. He needed to let his anger out, but not around Y/N. As much as he wanted her to see how upset she was making him, the best way for them to cool off is for them to have their space. To let everything out, but separately.

"Yeah, right. It's always me, huh?" He cocked his head to the side. "I didn't do shit. Don't—“

"Harry, are you for real? You literally—“

"I what? I was voicing my opinion? Yeah, that's exactly what the fuck I was doing!" Harry stopped her. "You're the one who made this bigger than it had to be."

"Me? Oh, classic. Blame me," Y/N laughed, falling back down on her couch. She was steaming out of her ears.

Harry fisted his hands and turned away again. "Yeah, I'm out. Fuck this, we're done."

We're done.

What?

Y/N didn't have time to ask him to elaborate before he was out the door and slamming it behind him. The girl was alone, her eyes widened and her body fell numb. Everything was blurring.

We're done? What does he mean by that?

Y/N shot up from her spot and planned to run after him, but something inside her froze. Her legs suddenly gave out, causing her hands to meet the floor. The beating of her heart sprinted from the sound of the gunshot starting the race.

"Wha—“ she gasped as her breath got caught in her throat. Her arms felt weak and began to shake as they tried to keep her up.

Y/N knew what was happening, and it was not what she needed right now. This wasn't the first time she experienced a panic attack, and it definitely wasn't going to be the last.

We're done.

Y/N fell back on her butt to sit down. That's when her body started to heave and the sweating/shivering began. Her hands quivered as they ran through her hair. She wanted to cover her mouth to silence her heavy breathing, not wanting to disturb anyone in the halls.

"Fuck, Y/N, calm... calm," she whispered to herself, shutting her eyes tightly. She gripped the couch beside her and squeezed the cushion. Her mouth and nose worked together to pace her breathing, but it was no use. She couldn't calm down.

Fuck. She needed the one person she couldn't call for help.

Y/N fluttered her eyes open and searched her room. "Plants," she sighed. "There’s… uh a desk chair. Plants, desk—uh… desk chair. Fuck." Her head was dizzy, and she couldn't focus on identifying another object. It was a method to help her push through her panic attack.

She tried again. "Plants, desk chair, uh... picture." It was a framed picture hanging on the wall of her and Harry at one of his soccer games. The team won and even though it was a simple game, as soon as the referee blew the whistle to finalize the score, Harry ran to his girlfriend on the team's bench.

He hauled her into his arms and hugged her. It was short and sweet because he knew eyes would be on them from Harry being a popular player on campus. And as much as he wanted them to see him love on his girlfriend, her tinted pink cheeks told him to wait until they were alone.

Y/N stared at the picture, trying to focus on remembering the feeling in the moment. But it didn't exactly help as she realized what happened minutes earlier between her and her boyfriend.

The girl fell back against the couch and let her eyes fall closed. Nothing was helping, so she simply accepted the panic. The rushed heart, the irregular temperature surging though her body, her chapped lips letting out stinging breaths.

Everything hurt.

"Baby, look at me. Open your eyes." Y/N thought her mind was trying to imagine her boyfriend with her, hoping it would help her panic attack. "Y/N, baby. Come on, let me see you." She felt feathery touches on her cheek and her thigh.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as her lids flicked up. She somehow gasped through her panicked breathing as she was met with a worried Harry. He was bent by her side, eyes wildly examining her.

He smiled when she looked at him. "Hey, there you go. Okay, can you sit up for me? Can you do that, baby?" Y/N stared blankly, letting out rasping breaths, but followed instructions.

Harry helped her sit up before he swiftly slithered behind her, him now leaning back against the couch. He tucked Y/N's shaking body against him and sighed.

"Alright, I got you. I always got you, babygirl," He found her ear to whisper in. Y/N's hand couldn't decide where to land as she was scared to touch him. And Harry noticed with a sad frown. "It's okay, you're okay." He slowly met his palms with hers before lacing their fingers together. Their intertwined hands wrapped around Y/N's front, holding her tightly.

"I'm—I can't... I'm trying... I can't—“ Y/N heaved out.

"Just breath, Y/N. Match me, okay?" Harry told her before slowing his breathing to a calming pace. Y/N nodding rapidly and attempted to copy him. "Good girl, baby."

Harry felt horrible, listening to his girlfriend struggle like that. But he's glad his Y/N instincts told him to turn back around and find her. He didn't expect to see her in that state, but all he knew was that he was going to get her out.

"Better," he whispered. "You're doing good, I'm so proud of you." Y/N was finally able to sigh, but not her racing heart. "Do you think you can do me a favor?"

"Wh-what?" Y/N hiccuped.

"Think you help me choose what we're gonna eat for lunch? I'm getting hungry? What should we have?"

Y/N bit her lip again as she thought about it. Harry rocked them slowly, giving her time to focus on his task.

"Um... P-pizza?" She said as a question. Harry hummed, at both her answer and slower breathing. "No pepperoni."

"Yeah, we don't like that, huh?" Harry chuckled against her ear, and she shook her head. "But I don't know. Will that fill us up? What else could we have?"

Y/N didn't realize she had relaxed her tense muscles and calmly fell into her boyfriend's chest.

"We.. we-we liked the pasta at uh... that place next to the pet shop," Y/N said.

"Yeah, I forgot what I got. Do you remember?"

"Mhm," she nodded. "You got angel hair Alfredo. But then it was actually spicy, and your tongue was on fire." Y/N laughed softly. Harry smiled so wide and let it press against the back of her head.

"Good girl, that's right. We had to switch our plates and I had yours, right? You loved mine."

Y/N realized how hard she was squeezing Harry's hand, so she let them go. But Harry immediately grabbed them and laced them together.

"I just want to hold you, baby. Is that okay? Is this too much?" He asked her.

"No."

"Good, I love holding you. You make me so happy, Y/N," Harry whispered to her. "But you know what will make me happier?"

Y/N wiggled in her spot. "What?"

"Your smile."

She blinked, growing shy. Harry chuckled and assisted her to turn to her side. He finally saw her face, softly guiding her chin to face him.

Y/N looked at her boyfriend, only him noticing that she was back. Her body was calm and warm, and safe in his arms.

She sniffled quietly. "What did you mean when you said we're done? Like done done?"

Harry's eyes widened, before shutting as he cursed.

"No, baby. Not at all," he kissed her cheek. "Never, you can't get rid of me. Sorry."

Y/N chuckled, rolling her lips inward.

"I meant, we're done arguing. I hate when we do and I left so we could get some space to cool down, you know?" Harry explained while plucking her lip free. Y/N sighed at his words with a nod.

"Oh okay."

"And I'm sorry for putting you through that. It's my fault," his voice turned soft. "I never want my baby to feel that way. You're too special to me." Y/N smiled, it growing wider.

Harry leaned forward to grasp her lips with his. Their kiss was soft and slow, exactly how he wanted her breathing to be. And she was back. And safe.

"I love you, baby. So so, fucking much," Harry said against their lips. He lifted his girlfriend up so she could turn to face him completely and straddle him. "I'm sorry. Next time, we cool off together. Okay?"

Y/N nodded and kissed him. "Okay. And I love you too."

Harry smiled drunk-like. Dimples. "I can't believe I get to hear you say that to me." Y/N laughed quietly, before wrapping her arms around him and hiding in his neck.

-

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles x yn #harry styles imagine #harrystyles #college!harry #harry styles blurb #college!harry x quiet!yn #harry styles oneshot #harry styles angst

[eganeyes]

thinking of vampires and werewolves integraded in the military clegan au im sighing in agony

werewolf!bucky vampire!buck ofc lets fall to the expected norms mainly because i am a dog coded bucky enthusiast and also as much as i think of buck as a doberman he's very much vampire coded

werewolf vampire feud being an actual and expected thing, the 100th being gunned from the beginning of the war as a trial unit to see how humans, vampires, and werewolves are able to work together. most units kind of failing at it because everyones too territorial, too much blood history, too blood-proud, and humans too cautious.

enter the 100th, always the outlier, ever the undisciplined.

officer training begins far before their assignment to the 100th, so the buckies meet each other first. born-werewolf currently lone-wolfing john bucky egan's proverbial but also quiet literal fur bristling when he firsts scents the air of his new base and zeroing on buck cleven, the vampire who's going to sleep on the bunk right next to him. millennia-old ice-cold buck cleven smelling the wet dog fur and hearing the low growls first before looking up from folding his handful of monogrammed kerchiefs to a werewolf standing by the bunk next to him, presumably assigned that bed.

buck promptly ignores the guy, which bucky doesn't take at all very kindly. john still gives the guy his name though, a week down the line, because, well, he's very pretty and very smart and very capable of putting bucky on his back.

werewolves being high in the sky is unheard of. bucky suffers through the 'trying to get closer to the moon?' jokes easily enough. no sun smiting vampires here btw, should i say they glitter like the cullens or nah. just the slightest glitter then, lets say that there's a glow when the sun hits their skin, vampires being the suns favorite child or something and when they die they return as ashes to the sun to give those vampire pilots some fear of flying too close to the sun.

complicated-relationship-with-the-moon werewolf bucky vs complicated-relationship-with-the-sun vampire buck oh the ache

but like more on the other guys because fuck clegan theyve caused me enough grief

werewolf dougie vs human blakely. sooo attached to dougley you don't understand. dougie imprinting on ev like a baby chick, scenting his clothes and his jacket and his pillows etc. blakely being sooo flustered the first time dougie actually greets him like pack—as in dougie touches his nose to the side of ev's nose, runs it to the side just before his ear, and down to his neck—face cherry red and spluttering while dougie just has the most satisfied cat-who-got-the-cream look in his face. maybe after their first successful bomb-drop practice mission? idk just obsessed with the image.

vampire duo crubbles, centuries of being together reflected on the way they're never apart on the ground. croz's diet has to be like incredibly precise and certain blood sits weirdly in his stomach so up in the air paired with the anxiety of being so close to the sun he's puking out anything that's left in his stomach. ms. jean crosby known keeper of both harry crosby and bubbles payne, only woman to keep those two in line, but nobody actually knows what she is.

another werewolf and vampire pair: hammy and brady. hammy being a werewolf disaster duo with dougie, squabbling and rucking up the base like pups, bucky having to snap at them to cut it out when he's also wagging his out-of-sight tail wanting to cause mayhem too but maybe not when some very important general is by the base yeah. brady just brings that vibes of being incredibly old and incredibly stuffy and incredibly stick-in-the-mud at first you know?? hammy first meeting his vampire pilot and scoffing because that's literally the stereotypical vampire he's shit upon pre-army. until he sees brady pilot. until his pilot manages to execute a move so beautiful he doesn't end up as a pile of burnt fur within minutes of a trial flight. until he sees john fucking brady crack a smile at him with the slight glitter of the dying sun caressing his skin. dougie, smelling this shit from literally 4 miles away groans because brother, really?

vampire!kenny stuck in the body of a 19 year old never to grow old, waiting for his passing from the sun whenever that is. very human very warm very kind rosie rosenthal easily grasping at kenny's ice-cold-yet-sun-blessed skin and sparks fly from the flat of the palm meeting rosie's and to the tips of his bronze burnt curls.

fiery human chick harding able to go toe-to-toe with wolves and vampires, mouth stretched wide the first time he has bucky egan sitting on his visitor's chair whose metabolism is working overtime trying to burn the devils piss of a hooch out of his system. meeting born-werewolf jack the next hour who's bucky's only equal in their eclectic werewolf pack—whose fur is clearly bristling from bucky grounding him but he clocks instantly that this were will be the one who will actually snap on his new boys' heels if they ever step out of line.

currently kind of obsessed with this aaaa might come back with other ships (demacon i Will love you into existence) when it hits (hopefully) probably when the bi!buck euphoria melts a bit

#mota #mota hcs #clegan #dougley #rosielemmons #hambrady #i don't actually know their shipname :(( #mota vampwere au

[deancaspinefest]

Books, Pies, and Roommates

Author: seidenapfel | Artist: Kit Shay

Posting on Sunday March 17

Everything seemed so easy when Castiel landed a job in Lawrence as a literature professor at Kansas University. He even found a place to stay with his cousin in Topeka, less than thirty miles away. But the daily commute quickly gets on his nerves and he begins looking for a little room in town. When he finally lucks out on a house, it comes with a catch. His mysterious landlord/housemate works and lives in Topeka during the week, and will only be in Lawrence for the weekend while Castiel is back at his cousin’s to honor a promise he made. When Dean walks into his favorite pie shop, the new sales assistant takes his breath away. Steve is gorgeous, and part of the owner’s family. Dean doesn’t even mind that Steve picks up Gabriel’s stupid moniker for him. After all, Deano has one syllable more, and Dean will do anything to hear Steve’s voice just a little bit longer. Though, as breathtaking Steve might be, he isn't Angel. If only Dean's book-loving best friend for over a decade weren't a mystery in himself — a guy who Dean has only met online, but who has slowly taken his heart away. And it seems that Dean isn't alone in his feelings. When the lines blur and fantasies merge three guys into one, disappointment and heartbreak seem to be inevitable.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

“Dude! You did what?”

“I found you a new roommate,” Sam explained and Dean knew his brother was rolling his eyes. “As you asked me to.”

“Yeah, I heard you,” Dean muttered. “And well, I did, but duh? Did you take the first one that came along?

The silence at the other end of the line was enough of an answer.

“Seriously? The first one? You pick the first Tom, Dick, and Harry that walks into my home?” Dean couldn’t believe it. “You didn’t even—”

“His name is Castiel. And he’s nice,” Sam cut in, defending himself.

Nice?

Before Dean could interrupt him, Sam continued, “So, get this, Castiel is actually in the same predicament as you are. He lives in Topeka, but teaches at KU and he’s already fed up with his daily commute to campus.”

“Castiel? What a mouthful of a name is that?” Dean grumbled.

“As far as I know it’s the name of an angel,” his brother answered calmly, taking none of Dean’s shit.

“Angel?” Dean huffed while another Angel came to his mind. Shaking his head to clear the thought away, he went on, “You telling me the guy is some religious weirdo?”

Sam laughed and Dean could literally hear another eye roll. “Don’t worry. I don’t think that should be a problem. Quite the contrary. He seemed very interested in our library. Or, more precisely, /your/ part of the library.”

Dean huffed. “That’s most of it anyway, dude.”

Groaning, Sam ignored him and went on. “I don’t think he realized how obvious he was when he skimmed through the titles of your collection of gay pulp.”

“Hey, it ain’t gay pulp, not all of it,” Dean protested.

“Pulp, romance, literature — whatever. You can’t deny it’s kinda gay.”

Dean laughed before teasing, “Just kinda?” Even though his brother couldn’t see him, he wiggled his brows.

“How would I know? I haven’t even touched half of it,” Sam backpedaled and Dean laughed even louder. “Somehow I need to keep my sanity,” his brother shot back. Then it hit Dean. “Wait, you showed this guy, this—”

“Castiel,” Sam offered helpfully.

“Whatever,” Dean snapped. “You showed him the library?”

“Dean, he lives there now. Of course, I showed him around. Besides, how do you think I should have hidden the shelves in the living room? You’re not very subtle with your interests.”

Subtle? Dammit, it was his home, for fuck’s sake. “Still, the library? And you let him stay? Alone at home?”

“Yes, because that’s what happens when you rent your house, dude.” Dean could see his brother’s bitchface in his mind. “Do I need to remind you that you were the one who asked me to take care of the viewings?”

“Goddammit, Sammy,” Dean grouched. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before giving in, “Yeah. Sorry. I did. But that didn’t mean that you decide who lives with me.”

“I don’t know. He just seemed… perfect.”

(continue reading on Ao3 on Sunday March 17)

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #destiel art #deancas art #pinefest 2024 #pinefest previews #2024 Dean/Cas Pinefest #author: seidenapfel #artist: Kit Shay #Two Person Love Triangle #Roommates #Idiots in Love

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ : Part 9 ‘Rescue’

A/N: this was an extremely difficult chapter to write. So much happens and I want you to all please take care of yourself after reading. If it becomes too much, if you feel like you need to step away, please do not hesitate. Your mental health comes first. ♡

Summary: You and Joel find a middle ground after his PTSD episode from the night before. It’s Spring now, and you’re finally ready to get in on the action. Joel and Tess have trained you well. Uprisings of violence have left the three of you no choice but to leave the QZ. You plan to meet with another group at an abandon bookstore to plan your escape. Upon your arrival, you realize that someone has set you up. 6 against 3. What a slim chance of survival.

~word count : 8.7k~

Warnings: age gap (m/c is 28) graphic, detailed descriptions of violence. Shoot out. Guns/knives, knife wounds, graphic descriptions of blood. Agony, unrequited love, pining, angst, confession of feelings, trauma, feelings of guilt, child loss, swearing, anger, soft ! Joel, violent ! Joel, literally this is just one cluster fuck of emotions. This is not for sensitive viewers. (+18) MINORS DNI !

Songs for this chapter:

“Rescue” by Lauren Daigle

“Shrike” by Hozier

“Sign of the Times” By Harry Styles

“evermore” By Taylor Swift

“Particles” By Nothing But Thieves

“Lift me Up” By Rihanna

“Turning Page” By Sleeping At Last”

___________________

December 25th 2020 : Boston QZ

~Joel Miller’s POV~

Joel didn’t like to believe that he was born with a violent heart. Joel liked to believe that he was still a good person, deep down. Before the world had gone to shit, before the cordyceps, before the government murdered his baby girl in his arms, before all of that. Joel Miller was a gentle, protective and caring father. Becoming a father was Joel’s proudest moment. Being a good dad was tough, sure but Joel did everything for his baby girl. It was all for her.

Joel believed that his violent heart was a result in the world as he knew it, ending. When Sarah died, all he could think about was revenge and he meant it when he told you last night, in his fury, that he was a murderer, a cold blooded killer. That’s what he was. He went to bed with the knowledge of his past, and the consequences of his actions. He lived in it every single fucking day.

Last night should have gone differently. He thought to himself. It was early in the morning. He hadn’t gotten much sleep after he stormed off. He stared at the wall, recounting his dead daughter's screams, for hours. He recounted the fear in your eyes when he snapped at you. The way you flinched when he threw the glass at the wall. How you cowered away into the comfort of the couch, like a frightened animal. Despite his violent outburst, you still tried to comfort him, to bring him down. You were so fucking gentle with him. Even after he had let his rage out on you, your only goal was to get your Joel back. He couldn’t understand why you allowed yourself to stay so calm, to comfort him after he had treated you so poorly? After he had projected his years of pent up pain, agony and grief onto you, you still showed him kindness. Joel felt that he didn’t deserve that from you. He felt that he didn’t deserve you at all.

He swore he could still feel the caress of your palm against his face, the way your eyes frantically searched his, looking for anything you could find in his darkened pupils. He subconsciously found himself brushing his fingers against his beard then. You were too fucking good for him, too good for this fucked up world.

He had left his bedroom around 2 in the morning after he had calmed down, his footsteps were quiet as he padded down the hall to your curled up form on the couch. He wanted to make sure you got a decent night's sleep, it was the least he could do after what had happened. Joel had leaned down then, gently bringing his arms around you and lifted you up, bridal style from the couch, cradling you against his chest as he quietly carried you to your room. He watched you with soft eyes as you subconsciously turned your cheek against his chest, right against his heart. You looked so peaceful in your sleep. He quietly pushed your door open with his hip bringing you to your bed and gently set you down. He grabbed the quilt at the end of the bed and draped it across your small frame. Joel had leaned down, brushing a few strands of hair from your face and left a ghost of a kiss against your forehead, his eyes closing for a moment before he pulled away.

“I’m sorry, Gwen. I’m so sorry.” He whispered to himself as he looked down at you. A moment later, he had turned on his heel and willed himself to leave your room. He wanted to lay there with you, hold you close to his chest and apologize for his actions. You needed sleep, and he intended to give that to you. Joel for the first time, was actively putting your feelings above his own. He was trying to make that effort. It was the bare minimum but you deserved it. You deserved so much more than he felt that he could give you.

After he had left your room and returned to his own, and when he could no longer hear his daughter's screams ringing in his ears, Joel thought about you. His thoughts were constantly drifting to you and he wasn’t even trying to deny it anymore. What was there to deny? He had a soft spot for you. He wanted to be as close as he physically could be to you. He wanted to know everything about you. He was the flame from a lit match and you were the oxygen, keeping that flame alive. Last night was the first time you had ever truly opened up to him, and he fucking blew it. You had put your trust so deeply into him and he so easily lost sight of what truly mattered most. Last night Joel realized that you weren’t always so tough, so sure of yourself.

Last night, Joel saw a different side of you. The vulnerable, caring, and fragile side of you. You were a complex person, he realized. A complex person with deeply rooted emotions. You loved deep dish pizza and that stupid fucking Chicago Bean. You had a horse named Honey that was a Palomino, with the softest dappling, and you were the best of friends. Honey was violently murdered by raiders one winter, you were sixteen. You had the sweetest laugh that could make even the coldest man smile. You were a bubbly drunk, and ballsy wrapped up in one. You were affectionate towards those you cared about the most, and you cared so deeply for them. You held his face in your hands even when he turned violent and screamed and threw glasses at the wall and screamed some more.

These were just a handful of the things Joel recounted from last night. He could replay the entire sequence over and over in his head. All the way up to the moment where he snapped. The switch was flipped and he wished that you never had to see him that way. As he sat there in his solitude, he thought about how easy it would be for him to shut himself off from you again. To turn a cold shoulder, to make you feel as if you meant nothing to him. How easy it would be for him to push you so far away, so cruelly, you would never try to be close to him again. If Sarah was here, she’d be telling him off. “Why would you go and do that, dad?” He could hear her voice now. “Dad, I love you, but you’re an idiot. Don’t mess this up! She’s a good one. She makes you laugh, you smile the most when you’re around her.” He found himself turning his head to the side then, looking at the empty spot on the end of his bed and he imagined his little girl now. He found himself outstretching his hand and brushed it through the thin air, his face falling when he realized she was never really there, and he had just pictured her memory in his mind. He clutched the air in a tight fist before slowly bringing his hand down to rest along the rustled covers. He was trembling. “I’m not gonna let you down, baby girl. Okay? I–promise. I’ll fix this. I will. I–love you so much.” His tone was hushed and his voice had cracked towards the end.

He had sat there, staring at the empty space on his bed for what felt like hours before his senses returned. He knew then that he couldn’t push you away again. Things had gotten too personal. His walls had come tumbling down with yours in a deafening crescendo. Shutting you out permanently would in turn, tear him up inside. With his daughter’s words fresh on his mind, he knew that he had to fix this. Apologize, make it up to you somehow. If you needed space from him, he would give it to you. If you wanted to scream at him, cry in his arms, punch the wall, he would let you and in return, he would be there for you in any possible fucking way he could. However you would have him, he’d be there; indefinitely.

Joel had no plan of action whatsoever. He had no clue how you would react to him whenever you would wake up. It made him nervous. Nervous over the fact that the sheer chance that you wouldn’t ever forgive him was a real possibility. You were the most understanding individual that he had ever met but like himself, everyone including you, had their breaking point. It was inevitable to not have one and he hoped, prayed that you hadn’t hit yours.

He did what any normal, with a hint of insanity, person would do. He busied himself while you rested. He forced himself to leave his room, he checked his appearance in the cracked mirror in his bathroom, at least 100 times. Fixing his hair, splashing ice cold water in his face to calm his nerves. He was careful to be quiet despite how creaky the old floorboards were. The last thing he wanted to do was wake you. When he had come upon the shattered glass all along the floor against the back wall, he imagined the fear in your eyes again. The way you flinched and cowered away from him. He didn’t want you to wake up and be instantly reminded of his violence so he sank down to his knees, and started to pick the larger shards of glass up, carefully. He had cut his fingers a few times on some jagged pieces but he didn’t care. Minimal cuts held no power over him. The rest he picked up with an old newspaper page. When he deemed that the majority of the glass was picked up, he moved onto the next task.

He fluffed up the pillows on the couch as best he could. He then refolded the thick quilt he had draped around you hours ago, It faintly smelled of you. When he found the book you had been reading still on the floor, he bent down and picked it up. You had dog-eared the page you had left off on so he was easily able to flip to it. He skimmed over the words from the passage and it then dawned upon him, you had nearly been crying because of this damn book. This damn Heathcliff being a total jackass–who the hell talks to someone on their deathbed like that? He closed the page then and set it down on the coffee table. He moved into the kitchen then, grabbing the half bottle of whiskey and tucking it back into the cabinet. You could hold your liquor decently well, but he enjoyed seeing you get all flushed in the face, and fucking giggly. You were an adorable drunk. You looked so pretty with your lips wrapped around the rim of the glass– “focus Joel.” he said to himself. Now was not the time to allow his head to go to the gutter, no matter how easy it was to end up there. He put away the stray mugs and any other clutter found on the surface of the counter. When he was finished, he started the kettle so he could make you a cup of tea. He knew that could bring you a small bit of comfort at least.

He moved back to the couch and sank down. His curiosity surrounding the book you were reading got the best of him. He grabbed it from the coffee table and flipped back to the first page. He wasn’t a super big reader by any means, he had no reason to be. However, this was the only way he could pass the time till you would wake up. He quickly found himself immersed in the story of Catherine and Heathcliff, just like you had. Joel almost hadn’t heard the creaking of your door, or the soft sound of your footsteps padding down the hall but when he did, he shut the book quickly, tossing it on the coffee table as he sat up. Your footsteps were quiet, hesitant in a sense from how careful you were treading. His heart sank a little but he refused to lose all hope just yet.

When you had come into his view, the first thing he noticed was how exhausted you looked. He knew he was the cause of it. He took notice of how your arms were crossed over your chest. Most likely from the chill in the apartment but it made his heart sink further in his gut. What really did him in was how you averted your eyes completely from his. As if you were afraid that by just looking at him, you would set him off again. Joel knew then that how he acted last night, had severe consequences. He had emotionally damaged you.

He broke the tension then. “ ‘Mornin.” he rasped out, fiddling with his fingers as he waited for your response.

He was met with silence.

“I uh–I made you some tea. It’s on the stove, I can get it for ya if you’d like.”

He was already up from his spot on the couch then, quickly walking into the kitchen area and grabbed your favorite mug and one of the last tea bags from Frank. He poured the hot water in before steeping the tea bag. You hadn’t moved from your spot in the middle of the room. This worried him immensely.

He brought the mug over to you then, hesitantly. He stopped a few inches in front of you as he held it out to you, waiting for you to grab it.

You had slowly looked up at him then, reaching for the mug and clutched it to your chest, the warmth settled into you, but your blood still ran cold.

“Gwen–” He was cut off by you.

“Why are you doing this, Joel?” Your tone was barely above a whisper and your eyes were looking anywhere but at his.

“Gwen, what are you talking about? I just wanted to make you a cup of tea–”

“No, Joel. You know that’s not what I meant. Why do you care? Why are you suddenly being nice to me?”

He looked at you then, finding it hard to find his words in the moment so when he didn’t answer, you continued.

“I can’t–I can’t keep doing this Joel. If you’re gonna push me away, just fuckin do it. You don’t have to stand there and pretend like you care about me. I know I overstepped last night, and I'm sorry for what I did. Just save me the pain and just say whatever it is you're going to say. Rip the bandaid off, Joel. Go on, I can handle it.”

He took a deep breath then, running his fingers through his hair momentarily. He expected you to be upset with him, you had every right to be. What he didn’t expect was how you were going to deliver this painful blow to him and now his hope was beginning to dwindle.

“Gwen, I have no intentions of pushin you away like that.”

“Bullshit.” Your words stung. You were waiting for him to yell, to snap on you again but it never came.

Joel had reached out and gently grasped your shoulders in his warm, calloused hands. You had flinched from the sudden contact but didn’t move away from his touch.

“Gwen, I swear on my daughter’s grave that I ain’t gonna push you away. Doll, look at me, please?” He was nearly begging you now. “I’m so sorry for how I treated you last night. You didn’t know about Sarah. It wasn’t your fault and you didn’t deserve to deal with me like that.”

He watched as you slowly looked up at him, fresh tears threatening to spill over because you were just exhausted. Joel, and whatever it was that was going on between you, whether it be a friendship or something more, exhausted you to the bone. You knew deep down that Joel was more than a friend, Joel meant more to you than he would ever know.

“Then why did you leave me? I-I was there for you. I held you. I comforted you, and then you up and fucking left.” You pushed his hands off your shoulders then, taking a step back.

“Baby, please just let me–”

“No, Joel. Stop it. Please stop it! I’m begging you. I’m not your baby, Joel. I’m not your doll. I’m nothing to you. Please stop messing with my emotions. You’ve already taken so much from me and now? It feels like a slap to my fucking face.”

He watched as you backed away from him, creating a distance and he was afraid that this was you leaving him. You had enough and last night was your breaking point.

“Gwen, Please. Just listen to what I have to say. All of it, Okay? If you decide after that you don’t wanna trust me, that you don’t think I care about ya, then i’ll let you go, okay?” I left you last night because it was too fucking much for me to handle. I had screamed at you, thrown glasses at the wall, made you feel like a trapped fuckin animal and you still held me. It–it confused the fuck out of me. I know it sounds like some lousy excuse, but I didn’t know what else to do Gwen. I didn’t want to leave you there like that. Not after what I just put you through.” He took a small step towards you then, his eyes trained on yours, pleading with you to believe him.

“I didn’t fuckin sleep last night because I just felt so guilty and if I could take back what had happened, I would. In a fuckin heart beat, I would have.”

The realization dawned upon you that Joel had carried you to bed sometime last night. You were half awake, still buzzed but you remember his familiar scent, his warm chest, his steady heart beat. You faintly heard his voice, felt his lips against the skin on your forehead. “You carried me to bed. Didn’t you?”

“I did. When I found you curled up on the couch like that, it didn’t feel right to just leave you there. You looked so uncomfortable and it was the least I could do. I know it wasn’t much, but I wanted you to wake up in the comfort of your own bed after all that happened.”

He watched as you slowly turned your head to the side, it was obvious that you were dealing with your own inner conflict now just by your demeanor. When you finally composed your thoughts, you looked back at him once more.

“You did all that, because you care about me? Why?”

Joel thought it was obvious that he cared about you but when he really thought about it, he had thrown your emotions through the ringer on multiple occasions. He had battered you up more than he realized. So, of course you were going to question him. He hadn’t given you any reason to believe that he really did give a shit about you. Considering he kept his feelings about you to himself. He wasn’t good at expressing them, and now it was coming out all at once and he couldn’t stop it.

“Gwen, of course I care about you. I care about you too fuckin much for my own good. Remember how I acted when you had that fever? I was terrified that you weren’t gonna make it.”

“Yeah? Then you came back, took care of me and fuckin pushed me away again.”

He rubbed his fingers against his temples then as he inhaled through his nose.

“I know what I did Gwen, and I’m sorry. I thought at that moment I was ‘doin the right thing. You cared too, didn’t you? I heard it. I heard you throw your knife at the fuckin wall.”

You scoffed under your breath then. “You’re doing a real fucking terrible job at presenting a convincing case right now, Joel.”

He took a step towards you then. He watched as you took one back.

“Look me in the fuckin eyes and tell me that you didn’t care, Gwen. That night, before I met up with Tess at the rendezvous point, I told you that she and I were together. You cared, I know you did. You just did damn fuckin good job at hiding it from me.”

He watched as you narrowed your eyes at him, your hands were balled at your sides in tight fists and you were trembling.

“Tell me that you don’t give a shit about me, ‘darlin. Tell me.”

Another step forward from him and your back was nearly touching the wall.

“Don’t fucking do this to me Joel. Stop it please. You can walk away now. There’s still time for you to fucking walk away.”

“Why do you keep fuckin pushing me away?”

“Caring about you the way that I do, is only going to end up getting me fucking killed Joel. Sooner or later, this is going to catch up to us! We’re all gonna die eventually. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it to feel, to devote yourself to someone, when the fucking world could take them away from you in a heart beat!” Your back was now pressed against the wall, Joel was everywhere, all at once.

His chest was now barely touching yours, his forehead was dipped down, resting against yours. His warm breath was lightly fanning your face.

“I’d kill a thousand fuckin men before I’d allow that to happen, Gwen.”

You physically had to create some distance between you. He was too close, too real, too everything. You placed your hand on his chest to push him away and create that distance, but he wouldn’t budge.

“No Joel. Stop it. You don’t mean that. I’m not worth it, I’m not and you have Tess—”

“You don’t think you’re fuckin worth it? You’re fuckin incredible. You’re the only good left in this fuckin world, Gwen! I’ve been fighting this for so fuckin long. Do you realize that? I imagine what my life would be like if we didn’t rescue you from those raiders. If you didn’t give me this fucking scar? He gestured to the small dent on his eyebrow, the end result of you throwing a knife at his face 3 years ago. My life wouldn’t fuckin matter Gwen. I wouldn’t care if I lived another day. There was nothing left for me to fuckin live for. Then you came along, you showed up and fuckin flipped my goddamn world upside down. I hate you for it, you know that? I hate you for it because I fucking care so much—if something were to happen to you? I’m putting it all out on the fuckin table, baby. I’ve got nothing left to fuckin lose. You’re right, we live in a fucked up world. Hell, we could die tomorrow for all we know. Y’know what I’m not gonna do? I’m not gonna hide. I ain’t gonna run. I’m right fuckin here and I will wait for as long as I have to, I will wait for you.”

The weight of Joel’s desperate confession, knocked the wind straight out of you. It felt like he was depleting all the air from your lungs. Your heart was pounding against your chest, your eyes were wide and the tears that threatened to spill over, finally came. He was cupping your face in his hands before you even had the chance to wipe them away yourself.

“Joel, I can’t fucking afford to lose you. I can’t.” Your words came out in a choked out sob.

“Shh. Shh, ‘darlin. I’m right here. I ain’t goin anywhere. You’re not gonna lose me alright? I’m right here. It’s gonna take a hell of a lot to take me out anyway. I’d give ‘em hell first.” He was speaking so gently to you now. His thumbs were vigorously wiping away your tears and you finally gave in, falling into his chest as you clutched his shirt between your fists like your life depended on it. You were exhausted from fighting how you felt about this man. Your walls were crumbling down around you, while Joel was right there to hold you together. When your knees finally gave out, he scooped you up into his arms so you didn’t have to stand anymore. He held you so fucking close to him in those moments and you let it all happen; you were done fighting.

________

For the rest of the afternoon, you and Joel sat together in comfortable silence. So much had happened, so much was said and yet, you were both content just being in each other's presence. Tess had made it home safely sometime in the middle of the night. She was too exhausted to even notice you and Joel passed out on the couch together. He had draped the thick quilt over both of you, you had your calves comfortably resting in his lap and his fingers had been rubbing soothing circles into your skin before he had drifted off, not letting you go. Even if on the off chance she had noticed, she was too exhausted to care.

_________________

For the rest of the brutal winter, Joel made it his mission to continue training you. You spent many hours out in the woods together. Practicing your shooting, combat skills, and everything in between. Tess had even accompanied you on a few occasions. She taught you the dirty ways to win a fight, especially against a man. This was the first time you felt that she was viewing you as her equal.You appreciated her knowledge more than she would ever realize, and you came to find out that Tess was pretty fucking funny when she wanted to be. Everything was falling into place the way he should be. By spring, you were ready and adequately prepared to get in on the action, finally.

Spring brought new beginnings. With these new beginnings, came new challenges. The Boston QZ was arresting, prosecuting, and executing residents on the daily. Anyone that was caught breaking a rule, attempting to escape, committing treason, or acts of violence, were publicly executed every morning. You weren’t just dumping the infected dead anymore, you were dumping familiar faces into the deep pits. Times were getting tough and with every body you dumped, another new resident would come through the gates. It would only be a matter of time before Joel would get thrown in lock up, or worse. He had a few FEDRA soldiers wrapped around his finger but how long was that really going to last? On-top of everything, there were more firefly attacks. With hushed whispers of a possible overthrowing of the fascist pieces of shit that swore to protect their residents, and were murdering them instead. The QZ was never safe to begin with but now, it was turning into an active war-zone. Joel had made the decision that the three of you needed to get the hell out of dodge.

There were a few other smugglers that had the same idea as you. Joel agreed that having a larger group would increase the chances of escaping. More bodies = more lookouts = higher chance of survival. At least, that’s how he explained it. You had agreed to meet with the rest of the group at the rendezvous point: the abandoned QZ bookstore. It had enough cover in case something were to go wrong, and you always had to expect the worst.

“ ‘Alright, sundown we head out. If things get sketchy, we run. No turning back.” Joel had said hours before the escape plan would ensue. As he was talking, he was looking right at you. He was always looking at you.

Evening came quickly and you found yourself packing the essentials from your room and taking one last look of what was your home for 3 years. It was bittersweet, but there was no time for emotions, you had to get out fast. Slinging your backpack over your shoulder, you took one look at your barren bed and closed the door behind you. Little did you know, this would not be your last time in the apartment.

Joel and Tess had been loading up their guns at the kitchen table when you had walked in, your gun and knife tucked securely in their holster. When Joel had sensed your presence, he looked up for a moment and gave you a reassuring nod. His eyes told you that everything was going to end up being okay, and you believed him.

The three of you headed out of the apartment and onto the streets, quietly. Joel in front, you in the middle and Tess behind you. The abandoned bookstore was only about a 10 minute walk. It was no stroll, however. You still needed to be on high alert. The three of you moved silently through the shadows of the alleyways, backing yourself into a tight corner when a FEDRA truck would drive by with foot soldiers.

You had made it to your destination without getting caught. Joel had quietly pushed open the door with his shoulder, his gun was drawn and he looked around the expanse of the building, his eyes searching for any moment and when he deemed it safe, he ushered you and Tess inside, closing the door behind them. The bookstore was nearly destroyed. There were bookcases knocked off, shattered glass, books strewn about. Like most of the buildings, nature had begun to take over once more. There was moss throughout and long winding vines stretching up towards the half collapsing roof. You had your gun drawn now but couldn’t help but walk through the wreckage, glancing at what books were left along a mostly untouched shelf.

Minutes had gone by and there was no sign of the rest of the group's arrival. Something was wrong. You could all sense it and Tess was the first to speak up.

“Joel, something doesn’t feel right. Something’s off. They should have been here already someone probably fuckin set us up.”

Joel had kicked at a piece of rotten wood on the floor then, muttering under his breath.

“We’ll give it another minute and if they don’t show up, we’ll book it, alright?”

Something was definitely very off.

Another minute had passed and no sign of the group’s arrival.

“Alright, Joel we gave it another minute and now—”

Tess was cut off by the sound of debris crunching under heavy padded boots and Joel was already raising his gun from the intrusion. He looked to his left then, where you were standing, gun drawn and he motioned for you to get behind the bookcase.

“Gwen.” He hissed. “Get down. Get behind the bookcase, NOW.” His tone was urgent, but his eyes were focused on where the sound had come from. You ducked behind the bookcase then, crouching down with your gun held steadily at your chest, your finger on the trigger and then you heard familiar voices. The unfriendly kind. Robert’s fuckin henchmen.

“Joel, Tess.” The man had paused then. They had 6 men with them, heavily armed. “Where’s that pretty little thing you've been hiding away, Miller? What’s her name again?”

He snapped his fingers, making it seem like he couldn’t remember your name.

“Ah, Gwendolyn! That’s it. She’not hanging around with your sleazy ass anymore?”

“It’s Gwen.” You and Joel had simultaneously whispered out.

“What was that?” The man mused. “Gwen. Right, got it.” He took a step to the left, Joel’s eyes and gun followed him.

“So, she ain’t here then? Not hiding in the shadows waiting to snipe us out? Gwen, sweetheart, you hiding from us?” He sing-songed. It sent bile rising up your throat and your finger hovered over the trigger once more.

“She ain’t here. What the hell are you doin out here, James?” Joel spoke calmly, his gun still trained on him, watching him closely.

“Oh? She’s not. Well, ain’t that a shame.” He kicked over the standing bookcase that was a few feet from where you were hiding. The crashing sound nearly made Joel flinch and you had sucked in a shaky, low breath.

“Y’know Miller, it’s funny you’d ask. We caught wind that you wanted to get the hell out of dodge. Thought to myself, Joel Miller? On the run? There’s no way. Then one of your so-called “friends” rats you out. Say’s that you’re meeting up here tonight, and you’re leaving the QZ.” He kicked a book on the floor then and it landed with a thud, right in front of you.

“Can you imagine the look on Robert's face when we told him that you were ditchin?” He chuckled.

“I could give less of a fuck what Robert had to say about it.” Joel was quick to respond back.

“Course you could give less of a fuck, Miller. You thought you could just slip on out of here without him knowing? Never took you to be a fool. So here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna put the guns down. We don’t wanna fight. You’re gonna give us the pills that you owe us and we’ll go our separate ways.”

“If we don’t?”

James smirked then, looking over at the fellow smuggler. “We kill you both and take the girl. I know she’s hiding here somewhere, Miller. You couldn’t protect her forever. Robert’s been askin about her. He’d be pretty pleased if we showed up with the pills and her. Would definitely brighten his day.”

“I ain’t got any pills on me James. My guy got thrown in lock up and they’re probably gonna kill him tomorrow. You go back and tell Robert that he’s gonna have to find someone else.”

“Damn, you don’t have anything on you Miller? The hell happened? You’ve gone soft or somethin?” He had taken a step closer to the still-standing bookcase and Joel followed, he already had sweat beading on his forehead from the intensity of the situation, his blood was pounding in his ears.

“I don’t have shit on me James. We haven’t made a run in fuckin weeks cause of FEDRA. Look, I can offer you some of our supplies and ammo but that’s about it.”

You had slowly moved from your crouched position. From your angle, you’d have a good chance at taking one of his men out, but you’d have to be quick about it. It was risky, but you knew that if you didn’t at least try, the three of you were not going to make it out of there alive. Now was your chance to prove just how lethal you could be.

James sighed then. “You really never make this easy, huh? Well Joel, Tess, it’s been nice knowing ya—”

He was cut off by a gunshot, your gun. You had peeked around the side of the bookcase, aiming your gun at the one man that was closest to Tess. You breathed in, exhaled out, remembering Joel’s instructions as you released the trigger—BANG. The sound of the man dropping with a sickening thud was enough to have everyone turn in the direction of the gunshot.

“You’re a fuckin liar Miller and you’re gonna die for it—” more gunshots echoed and the chaos ensued.

Tess had taken out one man before she crouched behind a bookcase further from you. Bullets were flying everywhere, and now all three of you were hiding in opposite areas of the building. Popping up to shoot before crouching back down. You could only hide for so long.

You peeked around the corner once more, taking aim at one of the men once more, having a good shot at his leg. Before you could pull the trigger, you were harshly yanked back by your hair, the gun was ripped out of your grasp and thrown on the floor before you were slammed into the mossy pavement. You could faintly hear Joel yell for you through the ringing in your ears. He couldn’t reach you from where he was crouched. He couldn’t protect you. He was helpless.

You could feel blood trickling down your forehead, a kick to your gut from the heel of James boot sent you gasping for air, squeezing your eyes shut from the intense pain that knocked into you. Another kick and you were seeing stars. Surely, you’d have some angry bruises blooming on your skin.

“Fuckin knew you were here the entire time bitch.” He spat, yanking you up once more by your hair. “Think you’re so clever huh? What’re you gonna do now, sweetheart. Joel can’t fuckin save you.”

He had thrown you down to the pavement once more before he was on top of you, holding you down with his weight while you screamed and fought back with everything you had left in you. Your screams shattered Joel to the core, and he was left seeing only red behind his eyes.

In your fight for survival, you had grasped the hilt of your blade from your holster and yanked it out, in the process you had sliced James arm and sent him falling back, giving you the leverage you needed to get yourself up. You threw yourself onto him, jabbing your blade into his chest with a yell of pure rage. You heard his groans of agony as you twisted the blade deeper. Watching the life drain from his violent eyes before you yanked the blade from his chest and fell back against the pavement. In your rush of adrenaline, you hadn’t realized that he had his knife out and it was now pierced through your abdomen. White hot pain shot through your nerves as you took harsh breaths, crying out in agony from the pain you were feeling as you grasped the hilt of the blade lodged in your flesh.

Tess had seen you go down first and she shot up from her crouched position, taking aim at the last of Robert’s men, pulled the trigger and shot him in the head, between his eyes. She didn’t even wait to see him drop before she was rushing over to you. When she saw Jame’s blade sticking out of your gut, the blood pooling around the wound, she yelled.

“Joel.”

“JOEL!”

She was crouched beside you now grabbing your hand so you couldn’t pull the blade out.

Joel had rushed over to you then, pushing over what was left of the bookcase and when he found you laying on the concrete, gasping and crying out, and Tess holding your hand, he had images of Sarah. The blood pooling around her shirt, her gasps and cries—

“No. No. No. NO!”

He yelled, dropping to his knees beside you

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck. You’re okay Gwen. You’re okay baby we’re gonna get you out of here, okay? We’re gonna get you out of here!”

You were struggling to breathe and both Joel and Tess’s voices sounded fuzzy and far away. You only had a matter of time before it would be too late.

“Tess, help me! We have to get her up!”

He was already reaching for you then, wrapping his arm around your shoulder so he could lift you up. The movement caused the blade to shift and it sent another wave of pain as you cried out.

“I know baby I know. I have to get you up! I have to! Look at me baby, look at me! I’ve got you okay? I have to get you up!”

He brought your arm around his shoulder then before he hoisted you up into his arms, while Tess ripped off her jacket so she could apply pressure to your wound, there was so much blood already.

Joel was in a fury as he held you against his chest and let Tess lead the way out of the building as he ran like hell, each step he took caused you more pain and your eyes were barely open now, as you struggled to hold on.

“Look at me baby! Don’t close your eyes! Keep looking at me! I’m right here—I’m right here please please hold on baby! Please!” He was desperately pleading with you then as he quickened his pace.

“Baby I got you, I got you please please stay with me, Gwen! Stay with me!” His tone became more desperate, more raw as your eyes had fluttered shut by the time they had reached the apartment.

His jacket was now soaked in your blood as he kicked the apartment door open, Tess had rushed to the table, knocking everything off it as he gently laid you down on the surface.

“Get me the fuckin alcohol and first aid kit! Hurry, Tess!”

He worked fast at applying pressure to your wound, his hands were wet with your blood and he was fighting back his tears. He couldn’t lose you, not like this. “It’s going to be okay baby, I promise! I’m going to fix you right up! Open your eyes, Gwen! Please!” He applied more pressure to slow down the bleeding and you shot up, grabbing his hand and squeezed down hard as you screamed.

“I know baby I know, stay with me! I can’t take it out yet baby I’m sorry! I’ll make the pain go away, I promise! I’ll make it go away!” He watched as you fell back against the table once more just as Tess came back with the bottle of rubbing alcohol and the first aid kit and a few towels to use to pressurize the wound.

“Tess I need you to fucking hold her down okay? She’s gonna move when I take this out and then you get those towels on her right after, okay?!”

Tess had nodded, she was far calmer than Joel in those moments and thank god, because if she wasn’t, there’s no way he was gonna get through this.

“Okay baby I’m going to take it out now okay? It’s going to hurt for a minute but you gotta trust me! Count with me, 1-2-3!—” he had quickly yanked the blade from your abdomen then. The scream you let out would forever haunt his dreams as Tess held you down, you could make out her face slightly through your pain and deliria. Her eyes showed fear, fear that you could die on this table tonight.

Joel had tossed the blade to the side then as he grabbed the towels and pressed them down hard onto your abdomen, Tess took over then and he held your face in his bloodstained hands. He was covered in your blood and it made him feel sick. “Baby, baby. Hey, baby. Open your eyes dammit, please. Your eyes are so beautiful, Gwen. Please let me see them again.” He stroked your cheekbones gently, tears running down his face. “We’re gonna fix you right up. Gonna stop the bleeding and stitch you up, okay?” He had kissed you then, for the first time. He kissed you with tears wetting his cheeks, leaving salty streaks in their wake. He could taste the blood on your lips from the gash on your head, but he kissed you as if he could breathe life back into you from his lips alone.

“Joel if we can’t slow down the bleeding—”

“Don’t fuckin talk like that Tess! Don’t. She’s going to be okay, we're gonna fix her up. We’re gonna save her! She can’t fuckin die like this dammit. She can’t!”

With the strength that you had left in you, you slowly reached your hand up brushing your fingers against his face, your touch was there and gone as fast as it came. His face fell when your arm dropped to the side of the table, your fingers outstretched and unmoving.

“No. No. No. You are not dying like this dammit! Don’t fuckin leave me, please!”

He moved the blood soaked towels off of your wound and onto the floor. The bleeding had stopped enough for him to stitch you up, but he had to be fast.

“Tess, get me the needle and thread!”

He wiped his hands off quickly then as Tess grabbed the needle and thread, they didn’t have a lighter to sterilize it but there was no time to think about those things.

“I need you to hold her hand and talk to her, okay? Just fucking talk to her and tell her that everything is going to be okay!”

“Joel—”

“No Tess, fucking do it, please!”

She grabbed your hand then, giving it a squeeze while Joel had started to stitch your wound up, she used her free hand to feel for your pulse then. It was there, but it was faint. You were barely just holding on. She had crouched down then brushing some hair from your face gently, seeing the matted blood from the gash on your head. She leaned down and whispered. “Hey, I know you love him, Gwen. So please, do us both a favor and don’t die tonight. He needs you. I know he does. You don’t deserve to go out like this. You’re gonna be okay. You’re a fighter, remember? Always have been”

Joel had started to stitch you up then, he was no expert but he worked fast despite the horrors that he was facing in his mind. This situation was all too similar to what he went through with losing Sarah. Except, this time he actually had a chance to save you, and he would be damned if he didn’t try.

You had faintly squeezed Tess’s hand, you heard what she said, part of it, and you were going to fight like hell.

When Joel had finished stitching you up, he looked up at your face to see if there were any signs that you were still there. He grabbed the rubbing alcohol and applied it around the wound before he ripped open a thing of 17 year old gauze and placed it down on top of the wound along with a bandage. Finally, he grabbed the bottle of penicillin. If the blood loss didn’t take you out, infection certainly would. He injected the needle into the vein in your arm then and looked at Tess before he sunk back into the chair with his face in his hands.

“Joel. Hey, Joel. She’s breathing. She squeezed my hand. I think she might have heard me.”

He looked up at her then, feeling exhausted and defeated but he willed himself to stand and be by your side once more. He pulled the chair back before he sat down, grabbing your outstretched hand and brought it up to his face. He pressed a soft kiss to the outside of your palm, interlocking his fingers with yours and squeezed. It was a gentle reminder to you that he meant it when he said he wasn’t going anywhere. He would be right there for you, always.

Tess hadn’t let go of your hand either, she used her free hand to grab the rubbing alcohol and a gauze pad. He watched in disbelief as she poured the liquid onto the gauze and gently dabbed it on the gash along your head and wiped the matted blood away.

Joel and Tess sat there with you till you showed early signs of recovery, your chest was beginning to rise and fall at a normal rate. Your breathing was still faint but it was there and sure beacon that you weren’t done yet.

Joel had gently lifted your body from the table, bringing you over to the couch and set you down before he draped the blanket across you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your head, closing his eyes for a moment before he had pulled back.

Tess was already disposing of the bloodied towels and your shirt. The table looked like a crime scene, your blood was everywhere and when Joel came to help, she stopped him then.

“Hey, it’s okay. I got this, really. Go and be with her. She needs you the most right now.”

He reluctantly agreed, giving Tess a slight nod before he walked over to the couch and slowly sank down, he lifted your head gently so you could rest it on his lap, his movements were extremely slow and gentle as he didn’t want to accidentally hurt you. He noticed your dried blood all over his hands still, a painful reminder of what had happened.

______

Tess had joined him then, she sat across from him on the coffee table. Her hands were stained with your blood as well. Both parties were silent then, replaying what had happened in their minds before Tess had finally spoke, breaking the silence.

“Y’know, I should have never underestimated her. She took that first shot with zero hesitation.”

He slowly looked over at her then, brushing his knuckles across your forehead gently.

“I should have been there to save her, Tess. I wasn’t. I failed her.”

“Joel, no. You didn’t fail her. You couldn’t control this. Neither of us could. She fought like hell.”

He was too exhausted to argue and in a way, he knew Tess was right. He didn’t fail you. He taught you well. You protected them with that first shot. You knew that James was going to kill them if you waited any longer. So you took that risk, even if it meant you would get hurt. You didn’t care, your instincts kicked in and you went with it, guns blazing and fire in your heart.

“I understand now. I didn’t before, but I understand why you care about her so much, Joel.”

“Tess—”

“No, just listen to me alright? Let me say this. You need to hear it. I knew from the beginning that you saw something special in her. I didn’t understand why. I mean hell, she threw a knife at you man and you decided, hey, let’s take her in. She tried to kill me but we can’t just leave her out here like this. Then, I saw the way you would look at her. It wasn’t noticeable at first and half the time I thought I was imagining it. Then I’d catch you at random moments, she’d walk through that door and I’d see that smile. It only comes out when she’s around. You only call her doll. You’ve never called me that and I just started to notice all the little things. I was jealous, Joel. I was because all I had ever wanted was for you to look at me that way. Then, I thought I had you when we were at Bill and Frank’s. For a split second, I selfishly thought you would have forgotten about her. How silly of me, right? She’s hard to forget.”

“Tess, why are you tellin me all of this?”

She sighed then, rubbing her palms along her torn jeans before she looked at him, with a soft, knowing smile.

“Because I’m letting you go, Joel.”

He frowned slightly then as he looked at her. He wasn’t expecting her to be like this, certainly not now. Tess still meant something to him. She always would, but he loved her in a different way. The way he felt for you was on a whole other spiritual plane that even he himself couldn't fully explain.

“I’m letting you go because you were never mine in the first place. Not really. You were always hers. It just took me a while to realize it.”

Joel had reached for her hand then, placing his over hers and gave it a squeeze. He had fresh tears threatening to spill over then.

“I’m sorry I could never love you the way that you deserved.”

She placed her other hand over his then, rubbing her thumb against his knuckles gently.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that Joel. Just love her the way that she deserves, okay?”

He nodded then as he glanced down at your sleeping form. You weren’t out of the woods just yet, but with Joel by your side, and Tess close by, you had something to hold onto and live for.

“I will, Tess. I promise you I will.”

CHAPTER 10:

#pedro pascal #the last of us #joel miller #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #tlou #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x oc #joel miller x original character #joel miller imagine #the last of us imagine #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #joel x tess #tess the last of us #joel tlou #joel miller angst #the last of us x oc #joel miller x female oc #joel miller x f!oc

[cherievol6]

crying in the backseat

DAMNNN this one hurt kind of. inspired by one of my fave lana songs ever. i wrote this really fast, so it’s not edited, but enjoy. also my uk girlies how are we dealing with this heatwave, i for one cannot move x

PART TWO IS NOW UP!

warnings: swearing, loving someone unattainable

word count: around 1000

.

"Let me at least get you a jumper, you're shivering." He muttered, unlocking his sleek black car in the car park and grabbing it from the boot. You feel embarrassment try and edge its way in, but you’re not regretful for barging into the bar and confronting Harry.

“Don’t try and pretend like you care about me right now, Harry.”

He slams the boot shut and looks at you with a frown. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I care about you.”

“Oh I’m sorry, skipping your best friend’s birthday meal for your ex-girlfriend’s party-”

“PR girlfriend.” He seethes.

“-deserves a fucking Saint’s award, my mistake.” You roll your eyes, turning your head away when he wraps the jacket over your shoulders.

“She told me it was a work thing! Something about some legal shit we need to re-sign about the whole PR thing.”

“And that couldn’t have waited?” You snap. “I shouldn’t have to find you in some random bar in Soho, whilst I’m already upset that the one person I wanted to show up tonight didn’t.” Your voice goes higher and higher in octave as you reach the end of your sentence, your throat closing up and sinuses blocking to prepare an outpouring of tears. You were gutted, especially after seeing his tattooed arm in the corner of a video of his ex girlfriend cheering and pouring shots whilst you were holding back tears at your birthday dinner.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding.” Sarah mumbles, prying your phone from your fingertips and glaring down at the phone with a stoned face.

“I thought he was at a meeting-” you say quietly, looking around to see if anyone noticed the commotion.

“Oh Y/N. I’m so sorry.” She panders you as you feel tears springing to their ducts. You fan your eyes discreetly and Sarah ushers you off to the bathroom.

“I can’t keep doing this. I think he has feelings for her, Sar.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N. Their relationship was to boost her new book, remember? If he had feelings for her, they’d be dating right now.” She says pointedly with an eyebrows raised, patting away your running mascara.

“Why are feelings so shit?”

“I don’t know, but I think life’s to short to not tell someone you love them. You might just get a surprise.”

“I’m sorry. How many times do I need to say it?” He pleads. “I genuinely thought this was a business meeting, that’s why I told you. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

You don’t reply, looking out at the bustling streets and wiping your eyes.

“And how am I supposed to believe you? You’re not giving me much convincing evidence that you’re a reliable person, Harry.”

He’s silent for a moment, eyes taking in your body closed off in defence, completely opposite to how relaxed and close you usually are with him.

"I think we should call a taxi." His voice breaks as he says it, sighing and tapping away on his phone, trying to ignore the tears that were free falling from your eyes.

You hug his sweatshirt closer around your body as the cries silently rack your body, he doesn't even stand close to you. His perfectly tailored suit mocks your feeble state and you feel the most out place you've ever felt. Here you are, crying your pathetic eyes out whilst Harry's watch is ticking down the time that he's away from his celebrity life, a private bar bustling with big names that mean so much more than you.

“Trying to get rid of me now?”

"What? No! You’re worked up and need to go home. Please stop crying." He softens, trying to reach out his arm. You scoff at his audacity to tell you to stop, when he was the perpetrator for your emotional state.

"Fuck off." You mutter, stepping away and trying to pull his jumper off you. He looks more than hurt at your words, but you can’t bring yourself to be nice to him.

"Stop it, for God's sake, it's too cold for you to be out here without a jacket." He huffs as he tugs the black zip up back over your shoulders despite your protests.

Moments of silence pass as the noise from the surrounding streets fills your ears.

“You need to learn your priorities, Harry.”

“You are one of my priories! You’re literally one of the only people, who isn’t my blood, that I care about.” He’s frustrated now, hands raking through his hair.

“Don’t spew that bullshit at me, if I was, you would have been there.” And you would love me back, you wanted to add, but couldn’t muster up the courage.

The tears begin to dry and you pinch the side of your thigh to shake yourself back to earth, trying to get your thoughts straight. You suck in a shaky breath and let out the final point you had been wanting to make for months after a multitude of occasions when Harry decided to prioritise his work over your commitments.

“Y/N-”

“I think we should put some distance between us for a bit. I need to get my head straight.” You say firmly through the stuffiness of your throat. He gapes, unable to come up with something to say, his own eyes brimming with tears.

“No, please. I don’t want to put distance between us, Y/N. You’re my best friend- I can’t do this without you, y’know.” His speech is frantic now. The word best friend drives an imaginary stake through the centre of your chest.

“You have other friends, Harry. Lots of other friends, that apparently you have more time for than me.”

The taxi, or rather, Harry’s casual chauffeur, mounts the gravel, signalling the end of a conversation.

“Y/N, let me come with you, I have something important to talk to you about-”

“I don’t want you to come with me.” You say quietly. I do.

“Please.” He tries again, eyes bloodshot and teary. This strikes up the waterworks in your body as well, and you simply shake your head, climbing into the back and slamming the door.

“Hi, Y/N.” Harry’s driver greets you through the mirror, and you smile back, asking him politely to take you home.

As he’s pulling out from the parking spot, you glance out the window with bleary eyes and jot tears streaming down your face, seeing Harry stood there like a ghost. His posture makes him seem defeated, eyes looking at the back window sadly, unable to see you through the blackout of the glass.

In the rear view mirror you see Jeff stalk outside, and although they’re far, you don’t miss him embrace Harry tightly, prompting you to look away and grip his jumper between your fingers, thinking about the words Sarah said to you.

.

PART TWO IS NOW UP!

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles boyfriend #harry styles oneshot #harry styles husband #harry styles angst #harry styles story #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #y/n #harry styles smut #harry #one direction #Spotify #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #boyfriend!harry #husband!harry #husbandrry #boyfriendrry #angst #fanfiction #dad!harry #boyfriend harry

[secretkeeper13]

May 6: Bold

Written for @hinnymicrofic

“Better put the salve on that Harry. Looks like it’ll bruise— sorry.”

Peakes stands in the doorway across from him, expression sheepish, holding a tin containing the bruise salve.

At the mention of his injury, Harry flushes, praying the reason he was hit head on by a bludger during practice wasn’t completely obvious to the rest of the team.

Because of course, the reason is Ginny— or more aptly, his inability to keep his eyes off Ginny.

“That’s alright. Glad we’ve got a beater with good aim,” he says, trying to keep his tone light, ignoring the smarting pain from the spot on his left arm where the bludger hit. “Ravenclaw won’t know what hit them.”

Peakes beams at the praise.

“Cheers.” Peakes tosses the tin of salve across to where he sits on the changing room bench.

Harry catches it in his right hand with a wave. “See you tomorrow.”

He rolls up the sleeve of his t-shirt, trying to reach around to the back side of his left arm, where he’s certain a nasty bruise is forming.

“Here, let me help.”

His head snaps up at the sound of her voice across the now-empty changing room. Ginny walks towards him from the cubicle, her long hair swept up into a ponytail, cheeks still flushed from practice.

He’s struck, yet again, by how beautiful she is.

“Thanks, but you don’t have to—“ his words die as she takes the tin from his hands and her fingers graze over his palm.

“It’ll be easier, you can hardly reach.”

Her fingers, warm and gentle, press the salve onto his bicep.

His stomach does a Wronski Feint.

“I suppose I should apologize,” she says, the corner of her lips curving upwards as her fingers make smooth circles on his arm.

He stares at her for a moment too long, tries to ignore his stomach, now doing backflips as she rubs the salve in. He knows she’s teasing, setting up a joke, but he hasn’t worked out the punchline yet.

“What for?” he replies, hoping his hair looks handsomely windswept and not like the disaster he fears it is.

“For scoring such a spectacular goal that you completely missed that bludger bearing down on you.” Her smile widens as she says it.

His laughter echoes in the empty room.

He speaks before he thinks, the words spilling out, honest— something he’s noticed happens a lot when he’s talking to Ginny.

“It wasn’t the goal I was distracted by.”

It was you. I can’t stop looking at you. I fancy you.

He doesn’t say it, his self preservation instinct kicking in. He looks up at her instead and adds with a grin, “Though it was a brilliant right hook, as usual.”

He swears that her cheeks flush, but then he’s back to staring into her eyes, warm, golden brown, shining in the light.

“Well, it couldn’t have been the snitch, because I saw it take off towards the far hoops as I passed mid pitch.” Her smirk is back, her lips full and pink.

He wants nothing more than to kiss her.

“Unless I’m just seeing things?” Her brow quirks, a challenge.

“You aren’t,” he says, heart racing, mouth dry, as close as he’s ever come to telling her how he feels.

“Well, what was it then?”

You. Just you. Always you.

She sets the tin onto the bench, and she’s closer now— close enough that he can see her long lashes and the faint dusting of freckles across her nose.

He looks straight into her eyes, decides.

This is it. This is the moment. Be bold.

He tilts his chin up towards her, moves closer, and she leans towards him, her lips slightly parted, eyes closing—

Bang! The slam of the door to the shower cubicle echoes.

They jolt apart as Ron appears, fully dressed, hair damp. “Let’s go to dinner, I’m starving.”

Harry has never loathed his best mate’s absolute shit timing more.

“Thanks for waiting,” Ron says, completely oblivious to the fact that he’s fucked Harry’s chances.

“We weren’t, you idiot.” Ginny rolls her eyes and motions to Harry’s arm and the salve tin on the bench.

“That’s going to be nasty tomorrow.” Ron winces, looking at his arm, where the salve shines over the bludger’s mark. “Harry, mate, you’ve got to keep your eyes up. Don’t want to miss what’s right in front of you.”

Harry looks straight at her, hopes she’ll understand.

“Don’t worry— next time, I won’t.”

#hinny #hinny microfic #hinny fluff #hbp missing moment #I decided to try to write again

[freedomfireflies]

Okay, requesting here 🥰

On a break, it’s been a few weeks and they miss each other. Rough make up sex with a really soft aftercare? 🤞🏻

This is so fucking wrong.

You know it’s wrong before he’s even shut the door. Know it as you watch him flip the lock. Know it as you watch him turn to you.

You know it.

And yet, knowing does nothing to stop you from bridging the gap between your bodies as you reach for his jaw.

You straighten onto your tiptoes to level the height difference, shoving your fingers through the soft, pullable curls, and kiss him.

Slip your tongue past his lips as you nearly knock him back into the door.

No waiting. No hesitating. Desperate. Needy. Pathetic.

You know it’s pathetic to need him like this. Know it’s pathetic to fuck him in an Olive Garden bathroom. Know it’s pathetic to miss him.

And yet, again, knowing doesn’t do a damn fucking thing as you feel him pull at your bottom lip and he suck, desperate to taste you.

He tastes like wine and sugar. Each part of his dessert that you watched him eat just to spite you.

You’d agreed to a causal, friendly dinner for old time’s sake. After all, you owed it to yourself and to him to try and cultivate a friendship with the man who used to be the love of your life.

Now he’s just some guy you’re fucking in an Olive Garden restroom.

And maybe that’s all he should be.

You had declined any dessert, seeing as the dinner was already tense enough, and you truly didn’t want to waste another second sitting at the rather small table listening to him moan whenever he took a bite of his food.

Your eyes had narrowed with each lift of his fork, with each smirk as he licked the frosting from his lips, and each flex of his fingers around the stem of the wine glass.

Fucking asshole.

You suppose you have no one to blame but yourself. After the breakup, you were heartbroken. Sure, it was mutual but that didn’t stop the way your heart bled for him.

One night, you’d gotten…embarrassingly tipsy and maybe you had texted him that you were touching yourself to the thought of his hands.

And that was something he would sooner die than forget.

Which is why he used your friendly, casual dinner to add a bit more fire to the flame.

And despite yourself…it worked.

“Fucking missed me, yeah?” he’s growling into your ear, letting you shove his hips taut against the door as you reach for the buttons on his chest. “Yeah. You did.”

“I missed your cock. There’s a difference.”

“Really?” His eyebrow quirks upwards as you snap the buttons lose. “Could have just told me. Could have texted.”

You’ll kill him one of these days.

You shrug, as nonchalant as possible. “Or I could have called Felix. You know, actually, maybe that’s not such a bad—”

Your threat has its desired effect and before you’re afforded the opportunity of seeing the dangerous look in his eye, he’s fisting your hair and spinning you around.

His fingers tangle themselves in your roots before he shoves your cheek against the cold surface, his lips threateningly close to your ear as he hisses, “Do it.”

Confused, your brows pull together as you glance to the side. “What?”

You might not be able to see him, but you can hear the smug smirk accompanied by the sound of rustling behind you.

And next thing you know, he’s dangling your cell phone near your face. “Call him.”

A scoff. “Come on, Har, you can’t be—”

His fingers twist themselves in your hair like a vice and as your head is yanked back against his shoulder, you swear you pull a muscle from clenching so hard.

“Did I fucking stutter?” he asks of you now, and your lashes flutter. “You think Felix can fuck you like I can? Then you fucking call him.”

“Har—”

“Now, sweetheart.” His tone is vicious. Filled with spite. “My patience is running thin.”

Not one to submit to his desire to break you, you decide to call his bluff. You retrieve the phone and type in Felix’s name, hitting call before you lose your nerve.

And with each ring, Harry’s fingers crawl higher up the inside of your thigh.

Shit.

“Hello?” Felix has answered and the sound of his voice echoing from the speakers has Harry chuckling into your shoulder. 

“Hey.” The forced delight in your voice is a clear indication of how you really feel, although you don’t let that deter your performance. “Hi. I was just…I wanted to check in.”

A beat. And as you wait with bated breath for Felix’s reply, you feel Harry step away from your body, and your head cocks to the side.

Of course, his true intentions are revealed to you the moment you see him drop to his knees before he’s grabbing at your thighs to pull them further apart.

Inhaling a gasp, you brace yourself against the door, now exceedingly aware of the real game he was so desperate to play.

“Oh, I’m good, yeah,” Felix is replying, although you can’t possibly be expected to give a fucking shit when Harry is nudging his nose along the tender skin at his disposal. “Yeah, I was just going to call you, actually.”

Say something. “Aw, really? That’s—”

Of course, Harry uses this opportunity to slip his fingers beneath the fabric of your underwear, easily pulling it to the side as you steel yourself.

“You okay?” Felix. Calling your attention back, although you're not sure it’s working.

“I—yes.” Your palm flies to your lips as you swallow another pained sigh. “—I’m just…yes. I’m glad you answered, I was…I was hoping we could catch up sometime this week.”

You’re able to just choke out the question when Harry straightens up and extends his tongue. 

It doesn’t take you long to press your cheek harder into the door, your eyes rolling back as he collects each fucking drop of you on his tongue.

“Oh, I’d really like that, yeah,” Felix replies, and you’re so tempted to hang up, but you can’t let Harry win. You can’t. “Yeah, what about—”

He begins to list off a number of activities you both could do in the city, but your focus is on the man beneath you. 

On the feel of his fingertips pulling at your skin as he forces your legs apart.

On the subtle sigh of satisfaction on his lips as he sucks you into his mouth.

On the thrust of his tongue as you swear that you’ll kill him for doing this to you.

Your other hand flies behind you, finding his curls as you tug. Just hard enough to make him groan into your cunt, the vibrations outrageously delicious as they send ripples of pleasure through your nervous system.

“—so, yeah. Any of those.” Felix has finished his list and if you don’t reply soon, he’ll know.

Fucking speak, dammit. “I…wow. So…so many fun—shit—options.” You force out a relaxed laugh that borders dangerously close on a whimper. “Um, any of them are fine with me. Really.”

Another pause. The seconds that pass so silent that you wonder if you’ve been made.

And then—

“I really miss you.” But there’s something different in his voice. No longer chipper but rather…heavy. “Like right now…can’t stop thinking about you.”

Now you understand. And while you’re almost tempted to roll your eyes at his keen desire to have you talk him through fucking his fist, you’re forced to play along.

At least for Harry’s sake.

After all, if he’s playing with you…

“Yeah?” You force the rhythm of your words to flow like silk, soft and sensual. “What are you thinking about?”

Within an instant of your response, Harry’s annoyance is felt through the rough way he pulls you onto his face, your heels nearly slipping against the cold, marble floor as he keeps you steady on his tongue.

“M’thinking about your lips around my cock,” the voice calls from the phone, proceeding a groan, and you’re not at all surprised he’s already stuck his hand down his pants.

Fucking pathetic.

“Yeah?” You grit your teeth together, so helplessly close to clenching around Harry’s tongue that you’re not sure what else to do. “Want my throat, baby—”

“Fuck, yes,” Felix whines through the speaker, and right as your eyes are about to roll so far back in your head that you can see your own brain, Harry lets go.

And stands up.

Oh, you’re so gonna fucking kill him.

However, despite his previous determination to torture you to the brink of death, you’re pleased to find that this time…it’s for your own good.

He snatches the phone from your hand, clutching it so tight between his fingers, you won’t be surprised if it shatters.

“Want your lips and your—” Felix begins again but you aren’t allowed the opportunity to hear the rest because Harry is lifting the delicate object to the wall and smashing it against the tile.

“What the fuck?” Your eyes narrow in on the tiny pieces of plastic as they fall like rain from his hand. “Harry, you can’t just—”

His expression is dark as he dips down to hiss, “Watch me.” And with that, his tongue is forcing its way into your mouth.

He tugs your head back with the grip on your neck, falling so deeply into you that you’re not sure either of you will ever resurface.

And with that, he reaches for the baby doll neckline of your dress and rips.

Your tits spill out of their confinements and the animalistic display of lust that Harry is currently exhibiting is more than enough to leave you choking on a pained whimper.

But you remind yourself to chastise him later, because this is one of your favorite dresses, and he’s not a fucking caveman.

You’re forced back against the door, the cold surface stimulating your chest as you suck in a sharp gasp before he’s moving behind you once more.

He balls the soft material of the dress in his hands before collecting it above your hip.

Your lace underwear is twisted around his fist until it snaps, falling pathetically as he brings it to his own pocket for safekeeping.

Typical.

You hear the metallic clang of his belt as he flicks it undone and the sound alone is enough to force the drip down your thighs.

Enough time has been wasted between when you first excused yourself from the table and now, and this is something Harry seems to agree with you on as his chest meets your back.

“Beg me,” he murmurs, the tip of his cock brushing your cunt as your eyes flutter shut. “Beg me to fuck you the way he can’t. Beg me to let you come.”

Normally, you’d never let yourself entertain such a demeaning request and show for power, yet…tonight is an anomaly. 

Because garlic bread and all-you-can-eat salad is not the aphrodisiac you had anticipated falling victim to tonight.

But you have and you know undoubtedly that you might never find yourself with Harry like this again.

So, why not have one last quick fuck for the road before you go your separate ways?

“Shit,” you finally find the strength to whisper. “Please…please, Har. The only one. Only one who can make me come. Please...fucking missed it. Missed you.”

He curses between his teeth before finally…that feeling.

Your leg is thrust up against the door, knee pressed into the hard surface as he drives himself inside, your jaw going slack when you finally get what you’ve wanted for weeks now.

Him.

It’s familiar, and it’s good, and it’s so fucking full you’re not sure why you ever broke up with him in the first place.

He’s kind enough to offer about two and half seconds to adjust before pulling out and going again. Hard and slow clearly not on the table tonight.

Or…on the door.

You both know each other well enough to immediately create the rhythm that works the best, one hand reaching around your throat as he tugs you back, squeezing until your vision goes fuzzy.

Ecstasy. That’s all you know. Each sharp thrust and tug of his fingers in your hair, or on your hip, or around your throat.

He moves to grasp your jaw, squeezing tight as you swallow, something that merely spurs on the desperation.

“Fucking missed this.” Staccato breaths echo in your ear as he mumbles his admission. “Fucking missed this tight, little cunt. S’always so good to me. Yeah? Know you’re so fucking good to me. Take me so well—”

His fingers move for your lips, tugging at the bottom one until you take him into your mouth and suck. His favorite. 

You moan at the taste, mostly for his benefit, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t live to devour each part of him.

Besides…he tastes like the frosting he was so determined to swipe from the plate.

And now maybe you’re grateful he did.

Once he removes them from your mouth, they fall down your chest, tweaking your nipple—hard—before traveling lower.

They find your clit, thumb pressing tight to your body until you’re gasping against the door, turning until you can rest your forehead against the surface.

“How’s this, baby?” A sadistic chuckle. “Bet you fucking missed this, didn’t you? Missed the way I touch you. Missed the way your body drips for me—”

You’d almost agree with him if you weren’t currently swallowing a loud cry.

“—bet you always do, hm? Drip for me? When you’re fucking yourself thinking of me?” His lips move to your neck, sloppy kisses trailing down your spine. “Bet you play that video, yeah? Love to hear yourself whine for me, don’t you? Love to hear the way you drip down my cock.”

Your cheeks flush. Not at the mention of the video, per se, but at the realization that he’s right.

Because you do. You can’t help yourself. Fucking your own fingers can only take you so far.

But the video…the sounds. The way he looked coated in you. It was so fucking beautiful. Watching him swipe his wrist over his chin before licking it off—

A salacious moan escapes without your consent but it’s really Harry’s fault for making you remember such an erotic night.

“S’tight, yeah? Feels so good…fucking wanna come for me, don’t you?” He’s beckoning you to your end. Demanding your release. And you’re powerless to stop it.

You nod, wordlessly, but of course Harry and his gigantic ego can't be so easily satisfied.

"Ask me," he whispers forcefully. "Fucking ask me to let you come."

“Har—”

“Ask me nicely to let you come,” he repeats, using the hold on your hair to force your cheek harder into the door.

And despite yourself, you oblige to his request. “Let me come, Har…please. Please just…just let…”

“Y’don’t come for anyone but me, yeah?” Another question disguised as a threat. “S’right, yeah? Never fucking come for anyone but me—”

“No,” you promise. “No, just you, Har. Always you—”

“Always me.”

And before you have a chance to scream so loudly, the entire restaurant can hear him obliterating you, he brings his palm to your lips, forcing your silence.

You’re not quite sure it’s ever felt so good, and you’re vaguely aware of him coming, too, but you can’t possibly care about anything else but the feel.

It encompasses you. All of you. You have no concept of time or reality. Just the feel. The feel of him. The feel of the burn already forming in your thighs. The way your hips roll back to extend the sensation as he pulls you down. 

Him. On your neck, your shoulder, your thighs.

“Shit.” He takes a deep breath, and you’d laugh if you had the strength. “So fucking good, darling.”

Those gentle kisses you’ve grown to miss are scattered across your skin. Each one softer and sweeter than the last.

“That’s my girl.” His lips never leave you once. Your stomach flips at the familiar phrase. “Easy, darling, I’ve got you. That’s it. S’all right.”

After he’s sure you’re strong enough to stand, he pulls out, much to your dismay. 

But your disappointment fades when he gently spins you around until your back meets the door.

Then…he holds you. 

Grabs your hips and moves to capture your lips with his. Tender this time.

You’d sigh with contentment if you were allowing yourself to miss him as much as you’re afraid you do.

The kisses move down your cheek. Your neck. Your throat. Your chest. Never harsh, never sly. As if kissing away all your troubles, all your pain, all your regret.

He lowers himself to a crouch, fingers rubbing soft circles into your thighs as he moves to kiss up the sensitive skin.

Collects you both on his tongue, licking a stripe up your leg as you inhale quietly.

All the while, murmuring, “S’okay baby. I’m here, I’ve got you.”

And you don’t doubt that he does.

When he straightens back up, he slots himself between your thighs, finding a home in your embrace.

Your arms wrap around his neck, and you just breathe. Breathe in the familiarity of him. The sweat, the sex, the cologne you used to hate but now you miss.

Fuck, you’ve never missed something so badly in your life.

But you can’t let yourself fall for him again. You can’t. You’re sure he’s already over you and getting over him is one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do.

You can’t do it again.

“We should go,” you hear yourself say, thankful the crack in your voice is undetectable. “We should…they’re probably really—”

“Don't go.”

He doesn’t look at you when he says this, his face buried deep in your neck. His grip tightens. Your breath hitches.

A beat as your lashes flutter. “Harry…”

“Don’t go,” he whispers along your jaw. “Don’t…don’t make me go. Can’t do it again.”

A sharp inhale. You have no response.

When he leans back, you see the yearning in his eyes. The genuine longing to keep you in his arms forever.

“I can’t do it again,” he repeats, hand coming up to cup your cheek, catching the tear as it falls. “We can figure all the other shit out later. I'll do whatever you want. But please…please don’t make me watch you walk out this door. Please don't make me lose you again.”

And despite every reminder of why you parted ways in the first place, every outrageous fight, every moment of bitter contempt that led you to the end…you smile.

You smile and weave your fingers through his disheveled hair, tugging him down until you can kiss him.

“I can't lose you, either,” you murmur until you feel him sigh with relief. "It's always you, Har...always come back to you."

He grins. The first genuine grin you've seen from him since the breakup. “Always me?” A desperate request. Hopeful.

And you’ve never meant something more in your entire life.

“Always you.”

~ Other Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

#harry #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles request #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #request #blurb #harry styles one shot #one shot

[hitomisuzuya]

Slytherin Scaramouche x Gryffindor reader. Harry Potter AU. SFW. Some kissing.

This is a special request for my beloved @kichikichiko I showed her an art of Scaramouche in a Slytherin robe and she requested this from me. Scara would totally be a Slytherin, wouldn't he 😌It's my favorite House. And btw, I do love Harry Potter. I always will. But I DO NOT support JK. Rowling or her views in any way. I think she is a terrible person😑

You were a Gryffindor.

Scaramouche was a Slytherin.

It was pretty much dictated that you guys wouldn't like each other.

And you didn't.

At first.

But, the more Scaramouche started to get an attitude with you and started fights with you on purpose, the more he started to like the way you sassed him back.

So, he purposely started shit with you.

This was now a constant routine, since second day of the first year at Hogwarts in fact, even though he didn't start realizing that he was in love with you until his fifth year.

And you realized you were in love with him until your fourth year.

Rinse. Repeat.

Until the seventh and final year at Hogwarts.

It was hard for Scaramouche to admit that he was falling in love with you.

And you had too much pride as Gryffindor to confess to him first. You were old fashioned. The guy needed to make the first move.

Except for recently, Scaramouche had noticed you were getting close to someone else. Another boy. And Scaramouche could tell this boy had nothing but romantic intentions towards you.

And he couldn't have that.

It was hard for him to swallow his pride, and he was tired of denying himself because he didn't think he deserved to have someone like you love him.

Like usual, Scaramouche had started a fight with you towards the end of class. He said you were probably cheating, and that explained why you were a good student. And that he was impressed that you'd gotten away with it all these years.

You snapped back at him, saying: "Oh, you wish I was cheating. Are you that insecure about how smart you really are? Or are you just that jealous of me and you feel threatened. Grow up and get over it. You'll feel a lot better when you do."

Class had ended and you'd stalked out into the hallway.

And, that boy who liked you followed right behind you. To comfort you and ask you if you were all right, no doubt.

Oh fuck no!

Scaramouche had had enough of this.

He doubly had enough when he got within ear shot of you and what's his name who should drop dead instantly for even looking at you.

"You see, y/n, I have liked you for a long time and I wanted to confess to you before our time at Hogwarts is done." What's his name said.

You started to open your mouth and say you were flattered, but there was someone else that you liked.

Said someone was putting his hand on your shoulder, tugging you a few steps away from the shithead that was determined to get in Scaramouche's way.

"Tch, she isn't interested," He said coldly, fixing what's his name into a glare that sent a cold shiver up the other boy's spine.

You grit your teeth. "Excuse me, Scaramouche, but you are being rude. And anyways, why do you think you can decide if I am interested in someone or not?" You said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"She's interested?" What's his face cut in hopefully.

"She isn't," He said coldly.

You weren't.

Again, Scaramouche didn't give you a chance to speak.

"You know, I should've expected a goody two shoes Gryffindor to fall for a simpering fool like him. Now, hurry up and turn him down," Scaramouche replied, glaring down at you again.

"I..what?" You stammered, blushing at how flustered he was making you feel.

Scaramouche scoffed. "Tch, of course I need to make myself clearer. Keep those pretty eyes on me," Curling his fingers underneath your chin, he kissed you.

You kissed him back.

"Was that clear enough?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Scara, I was going to turn him down, anyways. For you. You just never gave me a chance to tell you. How typical of you," You said, "and yes, you made yourself perfectly clear."

Scaramouche rolled his eyes. "Good, because I hate repeating myself."

#genshin impact #fem!reader #harry potter au #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n

[poppy-metal]

I want Eddie to kiss me in the rain outside while making up from an argument and then fuck me in the backseat of his car with nothing but the sound of the rain on the windows

you slam the car door as you exit, pink shoes getting muddy immediately as you stomp away from eddies car when he'd stopped at a light. fuck him.

you hear the slam as he comes out after you, his muffled, "jesus christ." before the slap of his boots in the rain come up behind you. you continue walking even as he calls out to you. you frown when he grabs your elbow and yanks you around, pausing when you see just how beautiful he looks soaked in the rain. its annoying.

"let me go, eddie." you snap, trying to wriggle free.

"can we please argue inside like normal people?" he says, loudly so as to be heard over the downpour, "tight jeans and wet weather do not mesh well."

"then go!" you yell, "i can walk."

he doesn't let you go, he just looks at you. his big eyes doe like. water is rainfalling off his black lashes. unfairly pretty. "I'm not letting you do that." he says, softer now.

your bottom lip trembles, "oh so you're gentlemanly enough to not let me walk home in the rain but not enough to not be a fucking jerk to my date?"

eddies jaw clenches. he shakes his head, a quick motion that sends water scattering. his grip falls from your arm. "he wasn’t- he wasn't good for you." he says lamely.

"that's what you said about jacob, and todd, and harry-"

"harry was a pissant."

"I know!" you yell again. "but you should have let ME figure that out. Im tired eddie, im tired of you chasing off the boys i like."

his eyebrows come together. you think he looks tortured. he takes a few steps back from you and runs his hands through his slick hair like he's agitated. "i don't understand why you want to go out with so many guys, anyway. what's with the sudden interest all the sudden? you never cared before."

you're suddenly so tired. tired and wet and cold.

"because i want to be kissed, eddie." you say plainly, water slicing down your body in tiny rivulets. "I just want one good movie kiss. is that so wrong?"

eddie stares at you, eyes wide. the sound of the rain between you sounds thunderous. his hellfire shirt is clinging his skin with how soaked through it is, you can see the outline of his pecs, just slightly defined, through the damp fabric. you look away.

"and you think." he pauses, takes a step closer and dips his head so he can meet your eyes, "you think those shitheads are gonna give it to you?"

"Its not like you're gonna kiss me so i have to settle." the words are out before you can stop them. your eyes widening at the same time his do. he opens his mouth and you take a step back, your foot catching on a slick patch of concrete.

"forget it-" you start and then yelp when you start to slip. eddie darts forward and steadies you before you can fall on your ass on wet pavement, his arm looped around your waist.

you stare at eachother, chests heaving. water drips from his nose and onto you. he looks at your rain damp mouth.

"shit." he says, and again. "shit." before hes leaning down and taking your lips with his.

its your first kiss, and its better than any movie. It tastes like rainwater and eddie. a sweet, beautiful taste that you learn a alot more of later that night, when he takes a lot of other firsts too, your bodies slick and moving together like you were always meant to.

#ask #forgot to add the sex part bc i got caught up thinking abt the romance im sorry #eddie spaghetti #eddie munson x reader

[writingsfromhome]

The Ex-Text

Main: the ex

A/N: The main bits: both you and Harry are the exes of cheating partners (you found out when he texted you). Invited to your exes’ wedding, the two of you decide to road trip it together but it’s not what you thought it was going to be.

Prologue (text) / Main (ex) / Epilogue (what’s next)

————————————————————

I did not expect him to be good looking.

Okay, maybe attractive is a better word. His hair could use styling, his razor blades a sharpening, and his suit could use some tailoring. But he was fit.

“Is this what we’re going in?” Harry, he’d told me his name after I’d responded to his text, points to my blue Volkswagon.

“I don’t see you with a better car,” I didn’t like the hint of judgement in his tone.

Here was the guy who’d sent me what Taz and I called the Ex-Text. Really it was an Imploded-Life Text but it didn’t have the same ring.

I’d held out an hour and then gave in, texting him back: yes. the nerve

Are you going

Ofc not! I’m not a clown

What if we went together. Like flipping them off by going together

Are you still in the revenge phase?

Nah I’m over it. If they’re inviting us we should show up.

The idea of saying fuck you by showing up was appealing.

I should know your name first.

Harry. Styles if you want to search me first

…you barely have any photos of you. I’d continued looking at his online profiles, thinking the idea through before responding. I’ll go if I can drive. You can pay for the trip.

It was a plan: we would drive the 4 hours to Exeter in my Volkswagon and hopefully not want to die in the process.

“We should get a move on. Wedding’s at 3:30,” I get into my front seat and he folds his long legs into the seat beside me. The wedding itself was probably happening as we drove but to be there we would have had to drive through the early morning or stayed over night. Both Harry and I agreed we didn’t want the extra fuss. We would just show up for the reception.

“What’s that smell?” Harry sniffs the air.

“Peaches and cream,” I point to the car freshner dangling from the mirror.

“Smells like a teenage girl threw up a lung filled with peach juul.”

“That’s colourful,” I was starting to regret inviting him on a 4 hour road trip. “You’re not going to be this cheery the whole way through right? Because I was hoping to spend a lot of it moping.”

“Sarcasm,” he snaps his fingers. “My favourite.”

“We’ll get along just great then!” I start the car and get on.

“So why did you agree to this?” Harry asks after only a few minutes of silence.

“I dunno,” I drive carefully as I merge onto the freeway. “I guess it doesn’t hurt to show my ex I’m doing fine.”

“So what did you do when you found out? Trash his things? Set his car on fire?”

“Umm,” I bite my lip. This was embarassing.

“Did…did you beg for him back?” Harry goes with his judgey voice again.

“No. I’m not that pathetic,” I glance at him. He’s fidgeting with his sleeve. “I didn’t do a lot actually. Mostly just ignored him, then cleared out the flat when he was gone. Um…I dunno. I always thought I’d be that American country girl crazy if my man ever cheated on me. Turns out I’m very English.”

Harry laughs, it sounds genuine. “I guess we’re not all Carrie Underwood.”

“Hah! No. What did you do? When you found out?”

“Ehm,” he rolls down a window and rolls it back up. “I didn’t find out she was cheating. She’d actually told me she met someone new-“

“Really?”

“Yah,” Harry fidgets some more.

“How long were you two…”

“Three years or some.”

“Shit,” I didn’t know. I didn’t know a lot about this stranger who shared something this big with me. “I was nearly two years when you sent me those texts.”

“Yeah…we were both blindsided though.”

“Understatement.” I clench my jaw when I remember the feeling of getting those messages. The way my stomach dropped and my life turned upside down. “So you two broke up after that. Then you decided to text me?”

“Funny story,” he says and I know it wasn’t going to be. “I was hung up over it. I sort of stalked her on the internet and her new boyfriend. And I found his instagram with you on it…I reached out to you.”

“Oh,” so I was a casualty in his search for answers. That doesn’t feel good. This whole time I thought he’s been kind enough to let me know from one cheated person to the other.

“Yep,” the silence descends when I don’t respond. It ticks by and I glance at the time. It’s only been 15 minutes.

“So what do you do Harry?” I could barely find anything on social media about him. I was curious.

“I’m a teacher,” he says. I can’t help the sharp look I throw his way.

“A teacher!?”

“Don’t be so shocked.” He mumbles.

“I thought teachers were cheerier, that’s all.”

“Oh and all your teachers were cheery growing up?” I could tell this was a sore subject for Harry. Ha, subject, I smile to myself at the pun.

“Oh no,” I recall my year 7 teacher. “Mr. Harkner hated children. I got in trouble all the time.”

“You? Ms. Troublemaker?” Harry uses the same disbelieving tone I had minutes earlier. It makes me realize he was maybe quite petty.

“Exactly,” I try not to let his attitude bother me. “I never actually did much. Just happened to be wrong place wrong time, and he knew out of all my friends I was the easy one he could pick on.”

“Hmph,” Harry stares out the window.

“What? You find some relatability in the story?” I tease a bit, gauging how uptight he was. Plus, he wasn’t making much an effort to talk. And it would be an awkward 4 hours if we rode in silence.

“A bit,” he glances at me. “It’s just that I treat all my students like that, not just the easy targets.”

For a split second I think he’s serious but when I glance at him I remember what he said about sarcasm.

Game, set and match; guarded and sarcastic. I really did know how to pick a road trip partner.

“That’s good. Fair treatment and all that.” I reply with a smile. Out of my periphery I see him look at me for longer than a glance, and then look back to the window.

He doesn’t return the question.

“So what do you teach?”

“Business. But I studied design. I applied for the digital art position but they stuck me with business.”

“Digital art that’s cool,” I worked with digital artists a lot but because he didn’t seem to care about my side of things I don’t divulge.

It grows suffocatingly awkward as we’re plunged into more silence. I ask him if he wanted to put any music on.

“Sure,” he switches on the radio. I tell him he could connect his phone but he tells me he’d rather the radio.

“So you like pop?” I try for conversation again after listening to obnoxious music for another 20 minutes.

“What?” He snaps out of his daze.

“Pop music,” I motion to the stereo. “You put it on, seem to enjoy it?”

“Oh,” he shrugs. “I just listen to whatever’s on as background noise. You can change it.”

“Yes please!” I hand him my phone from the dash. “Could you connect that and open Spotify. I’ve got a road trip playlist in there.”

He fumbled with the phone like he’d never held one before. “Oh. Uh, you’ve got a few texts.”

“Ooh, from who?” I focus on merging into the exit I needed to take.

“Taz?”

“Oh, my best friend.” When he doesn’t check the message I look over. “What does it say?”

“You-you want me to read your texts?” He looks like I’d told him to flip through my nudes.

“Yes!?” He was kind of really odd. “What’s it-“

“Text me before you head out. And, serial killer vibes? And, you better be driving because I haven’t heard back. Is this about me?”

“Duh Harry c’mon,” I chuckle. “She’s being protective, don’t take it personally. Can you just text her and say everything good with a thumbs up and heart?”

“Uh yeah I guess-“

“Merge into far left lane,” the speakers interrupt.

I wait for Harry to send the text, and go into my Spotify. When Rihanna comes on I smile and finally start enjoying the drive.

“Isn’t this pop?” Harry asks.

“Not-well,” I think about it. “Kind of, in the sense she’s popular. But this playlist is curated. It’s different than turning the radio on and just letting all the rubbish play on.”

“Curated,” I can sense Harry’s judging tone. I choose to ignore it. The song fades out and Taylor Swift comes on next. I also ignore his snort.

We drive another half hour in mostly silence. We comment on the scenery, the few trees that had changed colour, or when we drive by Reading and he asks what went through the namer’s head when they named a town Reading. That started a conversation of places with weird names but Harry’s still very guarded. It leaves me confused how a guy like him would agree to coming to an event like this, and reach out to me to join.

“So Harry,” I turn down the volume a little when we hit traffic. “Why did you agree to this?”

He stutters a bit, the question took him by surprise. “I just want to show Vanessa I’m over it. Say fuck you to both of them. And show her friends and family that I moved on too. I know they all pity me. I’m pretty sure some of them knew about it when it was happening.”

I notice how he can’t name the cheating by its name. “And…have you moved on?”

“Well,” he drums his hand on the door. “Yeah. It’s been over a year.”

“Well I still want to punch his face when I think about him sometimes. I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t.”

He goes quiet, maybe this is it? He’ll actually open up?

“I don’t think we’re in the same boat.”

Nope. He just closed off even more.

“If you say so,” I keep poking the bear. “If you hadn’t texted me I wouldn’t have gone. I really don’t care what him or his family thinks. They’re all dead to me.”

“But you want to punch his face,” he tries to trip me up.

“Yeah? It would give me some pleasure to do it. Some closure that I got the last…move. But I don’t obsess over it.”

“You’ve moved on? You have a boyfriend?”

“No,” I had gone on a few dates too early and had some regrets. After the fifth bad date in a row I had decided to focus on myself this year. “I’m enjoying being single, on purpose. Just focusing on myself. I’ve been in relationships since my early 20s so…it’s been interesting just being solo.”

“I feel like that’s something girls just say-“

“Then you’re very misogynistic and mistaken,” I cut him off. I’ve had a dozen conversation with men just like this when I told them this piece of info. Including my dad. “Of course it’s a bit hard at first when you’re so used to having a significant other. And sure it gets a bit lonely from time to time. But you learn so much about yourself. And you really learn to appreciate yourself. Have you kept on with the dating then?”

“Uhh,” Harry chuckles, a deep throaty thing. I smile involuntarily. “I don’t know if I’d call what I do dating but…I get around.”

Ah. More things slide into place. Bitter ex, left by his girlfriend. Jaded and jilted. Now he uses as many girls as he can to fill the void she left behind. But he never gets to the root of his issue. Because he won’t face how badly his ex left him like.

See, spending a year alone does wonders on understanding yourself and others too.

“You’re quiet. You don’t like what I said?” Harry asks.

“Oh no,” I laugh. I’d gotten too in my head. “I was just thinking about it all.”

It goes quiet again. None of us talk and my playlist plays on until it ends. It had an hour and a half of music, right on cue as my phone shows we had less than two hours left of this.

“You have any more curated playlists?” Harry asks after a few minutes of silence.

“Why? Did you enjoy the first one so much?” I try to meet his edge with some light teasing but it doesn’t do much to soften the sharpness.

“There’s a services coming up. Can we stop?” Harry ignores me.

“Sure,” I mutter. His wish is my command.

Harry disappears inside once I park and I wander around. I want to buy something at the Starbucks, and catch Harry ahead in line. I excuse myself and join him, he looks surprised to see me.

“Thanks for saving the spot,” I say as I catch a few people shoot me a look.

“I didn-“ I loop my arm through his and raise my eyebrows before he can protest. He seems to understand, although he untangles his arm from mine and moves up with the line.

“We should fill up on gas too,” He tells me. I’m surprised he noticed, he seemed lost in his thoughts for most of the trip.

“Yeah! Thanks for the reminder. Hmm, what are you ordering?”

He shrugs. “Coffee?”

“Anything to eat? I love their cakepops—have you had one?”

“No,” he seemed disturbed at the idea of eating something called a cakepop.

He goes up to order and I do too, settling on an oat latte and a sandwich which I scarf down as Harry fills up on gas. I feel better on the caffeine back on the road.

“So how’s Van?” I ask when we’re back on the road. “I’ve seen her—I mean she’s beautiful. But I don’t know much about the woman my ex cheated on me with.”

“I dunno,” Harry shifts uncomfortably. “That’s a weird question.”

“Not really,” I counter. “It’s not like we have much to talk about, we don’t really know each other too. I’m curious.”

“You know we don’t have to talk?”

I glance at him and our eyes lock. It’s strange, because I’d mostly been looking at his side profile this whole day. His eyes are intense, I’d consider then green but he turns away before I could figure them out any more.

“I know that. Only because you’re doing a really job at it.”

He huffs, I guess it’s supposed to be a laugh because what comes out after is, “For the way you come across, your sarcasm is a nice surprise.”

“What’s that mean?” It was the first time he indicated he was actually paying attention to me, to what I was saying.

“You have this nice single girl thing going on. Even thought the last guy you dated cheated on you and probably ruined your life. Yet you’re this cheery positive girl next door. But your sarcasm gives it away that you’re not all that.”

His analysis shuts up anything I would have said. He’d read me like a book. And here I thought I was doing such a good job at reading him; that he was so indifferent to me just because he was barely talking to me.

I couldn’t deny what he was saying. Taz, the only person I let my sarcastic side out to, had told me many times I was too much of a people pleaser. That Ethan cheating on me should show me no matter how much I please, I can’t convince people to like me or to stay if they don’t want to.

The problem was I didn’t know any other way to be. And it frustrated me. And I had a constant playlist of commentary in my head of how I really felt but I bite my tongue so much it no longer resembles one.

I feel naked.

“That’s an interesting take,” I don’t agree or disagree. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. “Doesn’t really answer my question but sure.”

He doesn’t say much. Then he answers, “She is beautiful, that’s what caught my attention when we first met. Back then we were working at the same school. She was in administrative team. She quickly moved on to doing work for the school board itself but when I first saw her I thought Women like her are why men have always been tempted to cheat with their secretaries. It’s ironic…”

It was. It was also stupid. But I let him continue.

“I kept finding excuses to come by her office and talk to her. One thing led to another and when she left the school, we decided to proper go out. She’s smart, sweet when she wants to be otherwise she can really make you beg. She laughs at all my jokes, she was really good with my family. And we shared the same taste in likes—we always agreed on what to do, holidays, date nights, all that. I thought I was going to marry her…”

Harry trails off. His description had veered into the emotional as his words became coated in nostalgia, anger and regret. I pretend not to notice but it was a small car and the silence grows awkward instead.

“Thanks,” I croak. I clear my throat with a swig of coffee. “Thanks for sharing that. At least now I know Ethan didn’t leave me for an empty vessel hey?”

The joke lands flat and I take another swig of my coffee. Harry’s hand drums the door handle again, deep in thought maybe?

I let him be and focus on the drive ahead as the road gets busy again. I wonder if anyone else on this strip of road was also going to the wedding.

I thought it was so weird Ethan had invited me. Maybe from his perspective, it had ended okay despite the way we actually ended? Because I never had the explosive reaction, or the accusatory one, or anything that comes off as angry and hurt. Maybe my dissociated and passive acceptance of what he did made him think I was okay.

I wonder how his family felt, his mum adored me. She used to come to our flat sometimes just to hang out with me. His dad wasn’t really in the picture but I assumed he’d be at the wedding. And his brother who was a lot younger but we’d bonded over video games since I’d recently left a job in that industry. He’d really liked me too. Even though I told Harry they were all dead to me, I did miss the feeling of hanging around his family. They often gave me that warmth my parents hadn’t growing up. And being an only child, it felt nice to bond with his younger brother. That was one thing I took away in my year of reflecting and being alone. Whoever I dated next, I wanted him to have a nice family. One I could get along with. Or at least, that would be a bonus.

“So are you close with your family?” I ask, curious about this guarded and sullen man.

“What?” His confusion makes me giggle, the question made sense in my head but it must have sounded random.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about how I used to be close to Ethan’s family. Before everything.”

“Oh,” he nods. “Yeah. I’ve just got an older sister. But we’re all very close. My mum’s always made sure we have a safe place to come home to.”

“That sounds really nice,” I feel a bit choked up with him saying that. I imagine it, the tenderness my mother never had.

“It is.” He agrees. “You?”

I wasn’t expecting him to ask me back; he hadn’t returned a lot of my questions this trip. Of all the ones he had to return… “No. I’m an only child of divorced parents. We’re sort of scattered. Phone calls on birthdays and Christmas. That’s it. Not that we were very close before the divorce either.”

“Yeah divorces are hard,” Harry says with an emotion I can’t distinguish. “So you spend your holidays alone?”

“Eh,” I try to act nonchalant. This had always been a sore spot for me. “Kind of. Some years I had visited home but my dad sold our childhood home some years back. My friend Taz—the one your texted, usually invites me to hers. Christmas with found family is what we call it.”

I can sense his gaze on me for a while. I try not to fidget, but when the silence goes on too long I look at him and flash a half-smile.

“I’m understanding the sarcasm a bit better now.”

“I-“ I laugh. He’d caught me off guard. He was good at making me underestimate how attentive he actually was. “You should teach English with how well you’re reading me.”

“So I am getting it right?” He says with excitement, it’s a new expression on him. His grin, when I look, looks nice on him. He looks a lot more alive, and for that I don’t berate myself too much for giving that away to him.

“Just remember,” I raise my finger. “I can read you too.”

“Okay well don’t hold back on my account.” He crosses his arms, his body shifting to turn to me.

“Nuh-uh,” I shake my head.

The directions recalibrate just then and his voice is drowned out by the AI. Some roads had cleared up and we were less than an hour out. The proximity had both of us falling silent.

I start to feel the beginning of nerves. I didn’t so much care about Ethan but seeing his family, seeing our friends in common, seeing a part of my past I’d tucked away for good. I wondered if it would bring up any new emotions.

“For a minute there I forgot where we were going,” I try to make light of the intense silence we’d fallen into.

“Me too,” Harry lets out a small laugh.

“I’m suddenly feeling a bit nervous,” I say. I wanted to see if Harry would open up if I did. But he doesn’t say anything at all. Getting him to open up was like prying teeth out. “Are you nervous?”

“No,” he answers too quickly. He must realize this because he goes back on his answer. “A little. Only cuz I don’t know what to expect.”

“Well, they did invite us so,” I shrug. Harry clears his throat, his fingers tapping away on the door. “We just show up, stick up our metaphorical middle finger, eat their food, and then we don’t even have to wait for the dancing. We can leave before if you want?”

“Yeah we’ll see,” he mumbles. Despite our progress in the car he was back to closed off. I sigh, and decide to ignore him.

I ask him to put on the ebook I was recently listening to. It was the latest in my kick of reading more classics. I was making my way through Frankenstein, it wasn’t my favourite but I liked the storyline.

We don’t talk for much else of the trip but Harry grows more fidgety every time my phone gives an update on the route. By the time we take our exit into Exeter he’s practically vibrating.

“Hey,” I put my hand on his knee at a red light. “You gonna be alright?”

His knee stills under my hand. He doesn’t meet my eye as he nods. “Yeah yeah. I’m alright.”

“My car’s vibrating,” I try to joke, gently, maybe get a laugh out of him. “I would’ve told you to skip gas if I knew you could power the car.”

“I’m not a child YN,” he says. My name in his mouth sounds foreign, he hadn’t said it once. It’s a weird realization to have as I get told off by him. “You don’t need to coddle me and try to guess my feelings. I’m fine.”

I plant my hands firmly on the wheel, my heart dropping. I thought we’d gotten to a friendly place, but turns out he was just as much of an arse than when we started 3.5 hours ago.

“Alright then,” I mutter. He ignores me. Nothing new.

But a few minutes of driving he apologizes. “I didn’t mean to be so rude after you drove us here. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” I wave away the apology. “It’s an intense thing we’re going to it’s alright.”

I know he’s looking at me but I ignore him. I was upset at the way he’d spoken but we were stuck together and I didn’t want to dwell on it. He was my only lifeline at this wedding, so I wanted to minimize the friction.

“It’s okay if you’re upset,” he says, unexpectedly kind.

“Guessing my feelings?” I glance at him with my eyebrow raised but the word feelings catches in my throat. He looks away first, and I’m embarrassed by my display of emotions. I take a subtle deep breath.

“Destination on the left,” my phone announces. I turn in where she says. The parking lot isn’t full, I glance at the time. 3:17 We were a bit early.

“We’re early,” Harry says out loud.

“D’you want to go in or just wait here?”

“Hm,” he glances at the few faces near the building. Mostly caterers move in and out of the building. “We can wait here a bit.”

“Sounds good to me.”

I turn the engine off and it’s suddenly very quiet except for the sound of Harry’s leg moving up and down, up and down. He catches me looking at it and he stops.

“Sorry.”

I shrug. I didn’t want another scolding so I say nothing. That is until he takes up tapping the dashboard.

“Can you stay still?”

“Oh. Sorry. I…I’ll stop.” He sits on his hands and I roll my eyes. “What?”

“Nothing.”

Harry stares at me silently, like he knew it would pull more out of me. And of course it does.

“Well, you’re just the image of fine right? So I don’t have anything to say!”

He sighs. “Yeah! I’m nervous alright!? Happy?”

Without driving and a seatbelt on, I can finally turn to him. “Harry. I’m not trying to prove myself right or something. If you don’t like talking about emotions that’s fine, you didn’t have to bite my head off about it. But it’s also okay to be nervous. Even though Van should be the embarrassed one to have done what she did and still ask you to her wedding. I know that’s why I don’t give a fuck about Ethan.”

He looks at me, actually looks, not like the glances he’d been giving all day. He opens his mouth and then shuts it. I wait for a response but none came. I should’ve known as much.

“My heels are in the back,” I finally say. “I should switch them now before we go in.”

I leave him with his undecided response and change my shoes. I apply a quick coat of deodorant, and check my makeup is still intact after being on the road. When I’m done, he’s still inside.

I walk up to his window and tap. He startles and opens the door.

“We going in? It’s now past 3:30.”

“Yeah,” he drags his feet as we walk up. When I reach the door first, he calls out to me. Again, my name sounding different out of his mouth.

“Hm?” I look at him.

“Are you sure we should do this? Do you really want to do this? I don’t know if it’s a good idea-“

“I did not drive,” I grab his hand and they engulf mine. Ethan and mine were the same size, it’s nice how neatly mine folds into his. “Nearly 4 hours to turn back and drive back.”

“But we don’t have to,” he tries to protest as I drag him through the entrance. “I’m sure Exeter has some fun we can do-“

“You’re not turning back. You have nothing to be nervous about!”

“It’s not-“ Harry stops himself and this makes me pause just before we follow the last arrow to the ballroom. I wait for him to finish but he looks embarrassed—like proper embarrassed. “If we go in we…”

“I’ve got your back,” I reassure him when he doesn’t finish that sentence either. “We’re each other’s plus ones right? We have each others backs. Now c’mon, I don’t want to walk in late either.”

Harry accepts what I’m saying. He rushes ahead to the seating plan and walks ahead to our seats. He fumbles with the table, slipping something in his pocket before pulling my chair out for me.

“Thanks?” I tell him.

“Yeah,” he looks around the room, a lot of seats were empty but it seemed the bulk of the wedding had made it out here.

“Oh my god Harry?” A slim bald guy finds his seat—at our table, and looks delighted to find Harry. “I saw your name on the chart I didn’t actually think you’d show!”

“Yeah mate why not,” Harry stands up to embrace him and in those few seconds he transforms to someone else. Someone I had not been driving with today. He has an easy smile and demeanor. I look on with an awkward smile on my face. “Everything’s cool right, just celebrating love.”

“It’s bloody nice seeing you,” he says when he steps away.

Harry was such a fake, but I don’t let my smile falter as the stranger’s eyes land on me.

“Oi Harry, this must be the reason you can come here to celebrate love!?” The stranger looks between us both. I clock on a second too late—Harry’s already introducing us.

“YN this is Van’s cousin, also Harry. Harry this is YN.”

“Nice to meet you.” I smile politely.

“You too! And I’m Vanessa’s very distant cousin. I’ve been living in Prague the last two years so I’m not around much. Actually I was convinced by the love of my life when he proposed to move with him.”

“Aw,” I say. He’s beaming and openly sharing his life story. So different from Harry. “Is he here?”

“No,” his face drops. “He couldn’t get the time off. That’s why I’m at this table…alone.”

“That’s too bad. He’s a really cool guy,” Harry tells me. “I’ve seen him fold his body into a trunk like-“

We’re interrupted when another couple joins the table. Coworkers of Van’s and luckily we don’t know each other. I still hadn’t had to talk to anyone I knew personally and I was hoping to keep it that way.

“Hey,” I lean into Harry when the table is distracted. “You didn’t correct her cousin, are we pretending to be here together together?”

“Yeah is that alright?” Harry asks. A part of me is annoyed he didn’t mention this earlier. I would have been more prepared with details. But it’s like he knew what I was thinking. “We started talking after everything, we bonded, reconnected in the summer and started dating. Okay?”

“Glad you thought it through,” I lay on the sarcasm heavily. Harry places a hand on my back, it’s warm and it tingles.

“I’m sorry. Just go with it right now?”

“Whatever.” I sit up straight and his hand falls.

When more guests arrive, so do the couple. I admit I thought I’d feel a stronger emotion but when I see Ethan walk in hand-in-hand with Vanessa, a big grin on his face, I feel a pinprick of disgust followed by a wave of relief. I really was over this chapter in my life, even though I never got to say my piece I was happy I was out of the relationship. As good as it once had been, the silver lining is that Ethan showed me his true colours before it got any more serious.

I glance at Harry, curious. His smile is plastered on his face but his eyes track the couple like a sniper. They’re devoid of the emotion his smile is trying so hard to convey. His back is straight as a ruler and the drink raised in his hand is second from cracking.

“Harry,” I put a hand on his arm and lean in to whisper. “Stop trying so hard.”

He catches himself when his eyes finally look into mine. I tell him he looks creepy, but he only clenches his jaw.

“You don’t have to torture yourself,” I lean in to say. By now the cheering had settled down as the couple join the wedding party at the front.

“I’m not,” Harry turns his head to reply. Our faces are a few inches away from each other. Definitely green, I conclude about his eyes. Encased in a black rim with flecks of something else. It was too dim to discern. “YN.”

There he goes saying my name again, so low and close to my ear a shiver runs up my spine. My eyes fall to his lips, shit, I look away entirely.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” I mumble.

“Oh quit whispering love birds,” Van’s cousin calls us out. “I’m lonely here, and bored. Tell me how did you two meet?”

As appetizers are served we launch into a jumbled story where we try to avoid the “after everything” Harry’s story mentioned.

“I think it’s shitty how you two broke up,” I hear him saying to Harry on the side. “I told her too! I told her he was a good one and you let him get away.” Harry tries to act nonchalant but he grips his arm. “Really! I think it’s really mature that you were able to come by-“

“YN!?” A voice I wasn’t expecting to hear breaks me out of my eavesdropping. I look up and Ethan’s mum stands over me. “Oh it really is you! I thought I had to change my prescription sitting up there! What a delight for you to come I had no idea Ethan and you were…friendly!”

“Oh it’s so nice to see you!” I stand up and allow the big embrace she gives me. It feels maternal in the exact way I missed.

“God I’ve missed you,” she clutches my hand. “Sometimes I consider just calling you up when I’m in town if you want to hang out but I didn’t think Ethan would like that. But now that I know you and him are on friendly terms I’ll speak to him!”

“Oh well,” I pat her hand. “I don’t know if I’d call it friendly but-“

“But you’re here!”

Harry chooses the moment to stand up. “You must be Ethan’s mum.”

“Oh yes,” she smiles kindly at him. “And you? Is this your date YN? He’s handsome.”

“Ohh yeah,” I smile at Harry but my eyes are flashing him a warning. I wrap my arm around him and lean in, giving in to Harry’s warm sturdiness. “This is him…”

“I’m happy you’ve found someone love,” I warm at being called a pet name. I really missed her. “I was really disappointed when I heard…well-“

“Water under the bridge,” I reassure her.

“I should tell the youngest you’re here,” she releases me from her hands. “He’ll want to say hello.”

“Okay,” I give in to one last hug. “I’ll be here.”

“She really likes you,” Harry notes when I sit.

“It’s nice,” I swallow down the emotions I feel and busy myself with the next course.

Some speeches are given, a couple toasts around the room. I’m in need of a better drink so I convince Harry to follow me to the bar even though he wasn’t drinking. There are a few people in front of us so we wait in silence.

In a quick second, Harry crowds my space and leans in to my ear to whisper something but my senses become so heightened with him draped all over me that I don’t register what he says. Until I hear her.

“Harry,” the two of us turn to the voice. Vanessa stands in her white midi dress—she must have changed from the wedding, with a short veil, and an angry glare. “Are you serious?”

“Hello to you too,” Harry nods. His hand stays glued to my lower back.

She glances at me and back at him. I look between the two of them. It’s like a Western standoff, waiting for the first person to speak.

“What’s going-“

“I can’t believe you,” she cuts me off. “What kind of petty bullshit are you still pulling!? It’s been over a year, and you show up with Ethan’s ex?”

“Not everything is about you,” Harry says as I say offensively, “I have a name.”

“Yeah YN, whatever. I can’t believe you’re here playing his game.”

“I’m not playing a game,” I was so confused. They invited us how could she be standing here pointing fingers? If they didn’t want us to come why would they invite us?

“She’s not—“ Harry’s hand presses into my back. “We’re together. Sure we bonded over you two but we’re together because we like each other. And she’s here with me.”

Harry looks at me and I look at him, a bit dazed. I could barely follow the conversation.

“You’re twisted,” she says with venom just as Ethan joins us.

“YN? I thought mum was mistaken. What are you doing here?”

I must look really confused as I look at him, his genuine question. I look at Van who looks pissed, and finally at Harry who looks plain guilty. Just like that, it clicks. It clicks and I can’t believe I was played. But before I could let it show that I was an outsider on this plan, like a loser, I play cleanup.

“I’m here with Harry,” I stand up tall, Harry hand feels suffocating on me now. “Your wife invited him did she not?”

“Is this some kind of joke?” He looks around the group. “Since when did you two start dating?”

“Since when was it your business?” I demand. “We’re both single, we can date. It’s not like I’m cheating on you with him. Right?”

Ethan backs down immediately. I’d played the ace I never pulled back when shit hit the fan. Ashamed, he makes a whatever motion.

“I just didn’t know.”

“Anyway it’s getting a bit stuffy in here. I’m getting air.”

I walk away, as far as I could which was right outside the front doors. When I reach the railing I let it take my weight. I couldn’t believe it. I was a clown.

“YN!” Harry’s voice rings out behind me. “YN let me expl-“

“Shut up!” I turn to him. “Nothing you fucking say is going to make this any better. Nothing.”

“I know I know,” he runs a hand through his hair. “Yet I want to say I’m sorry. I thought we wouldn’t catch much attention I-“

“You tricked me into coming! You-“

“What are you doing!?” Harry tries to pull away as I attack his suit jacket and come up with our name tags I remember he’d tucked away. One says Harry, the other Harry plus one. I throw them at his face but they’re only cardstock so they flutter pathetically to the ground.

“I can’t believe you tricked me into driving you 4 fucking hours because you’re still hung up over your ex! You—did you send me a fake invite? Oh my god did you-“ I pull up my email and yep. The sender might say Ethan but the email address is a fake one. I reach behind me to steady myself with the railing.

“How could you?!”

“It’s a fuck you to them right?!” Harry tries to convince me. “I thought asking you to be my plus one you would say no! This way you would come if I convince you and-“

“No!” I shout. The sun was starting to set and the golden hour casts over the entrance, on Harry’s face. His eyes flicker with specks of fire in a forest. He was a forest fire, and I’d caught myself in its midst. “You’re obsessed with your ex! Oh my god you made me complicit in your obsession?? You lied and manipulated me into your plan and I’m such an idiot to have thought…” to have thought I could come back from tonight mostly unscathed, to put the final period at the end of this story. Now I just looked like a petty psycho ex who crashed her ex’s wedding.

“This is so humiliating!” My tears of frustration pool out of my eyes and down my cheeks. “I look like a petty fool in there because of you! This is so fucking embarrassing!”

“Why do you even care what they think?“ Harry takes the step down so that’s he’s right above me. “I thought they were all dead to you.”

I slap him. It shocks the both of us into silence.

“I didn’t mean to-“

“No,” he holds his cheek. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that much but I regret it immediately. I wasn’t the kind of girl that did that, but I was in unchartered waters. I didn’t know what I was doing here! “I deserve that.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell me the truth!?” I ask, the shock of the slap leaving me tired. “Why did you lie for months?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s all?” I walk down a few steps. “All this and you don’t know? God.”

I walk away and out to my car. I just needed to be alone but I soon hear his footsteps behind me.

“I was just thinking about myself. You were just a means to an end,” his voice stops me in my tracks just before I open my car door. “I asked you how you dealt with everything. Well I’ll tell you how I did. I was the pathetic one asking her to take me back. I needed her to see she made a mistake. I made myself miserable, pushed away everyone in my life. Became someone I don’t even recognize. I can’t even listen to anything that’s not pop without thinking about her. It’s pathetic, and so am I. I’m a loser YN. I’m sorry.

I just thought you were my way in to show her—prove to her something I’m realizing now she doesn’t give a fuck about. It’s unfair to you, to treat you like just a-I dunno, a chess piece. I didn’t even think about telling you the truth. And the longer I spent time with you the worse I felt as I realized this was so wrong. I tried to say something before we went in but it just didn’t…I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.”

“You are,” I tell him without turning around. I get in my car and slam the door shut. I wasn’t going to soothe his ego, tell him it was okay. I felt humiliated, and betrayed, and upset. And he lied to me. I sit there and think about our entire interactions, the way he tried to keep me out and fidgeted anytime our invitations came up. His responses all of it I…it was right in front of me. But I wanted to believe he was a good guy. I wanted to be the nice one. Me and my people pleasing had fucked me over again. I knew something was up! Why would Ethan invite me? Why was I an idiot!? Why did I think coming here was a good idea?

I hit the steering wheel. It feels good so I do it again but when my finger crunches in a bad way the tears come. I cry, frustrated and angry. My makeup was ruined but it’s not like I was going back in there.

It must be a half hour later. The sun was mostly gone and a small knock on my window scares me.

Harry. I open my window a crack. “Hi,” he clears his throat. “I know it’s the last thing you want to do but you should come back in. If you want to come out of here alright, and I know I’m the guy who put you in here so you don’t have to take advice from me. But if you want to sell that you really came here with me and you don’t give a fuck about him, we have to pretend for at least an hour. A half hour. Then I’ll drive us home. And you’ll never have to see me again. Ever.”

He was right. I was angry because I knew he was right. Skipping out on the wedding after being confronted would just confirm to Van and Ethan that I was here for petty reasons. But I don’t give in right away. I let him try to convince me, almost beg me before I open the lock and get out.

“I’ll need five in front of a mirror.”

“Yeah,” this time Harry doesn’t rush in front of me. Nothing else to hide, he walks beside me back to the venue. He waits outside the toilets while I rearrange my face to something decent. I put in some eye drops to clear the red, and take his arm with a fake smile as we get back in.

“You alright?” Van’s cousin asks with a sympathetic smile. For a second I think Harry told him and I’m ready to lay into him right there but Harry clarifies.

“She’s alright. Just some cramps right love?”

“Right,” I look into his eyes, the ones I thought were pretty. Now they just looked the colour of a snake. ���Thank you.”

The DJ calls the first dance and everyone looks on with awe. I zone out until Harry’s hand squeezes mine under the table. I snatch it out of his without looking at him, for maybe the first time in my life I don’t care if it offends him.

I’m not present as more couples join the dancefloor. Our table pushes us to go out too and after the millionth time I stand stiffly with Harry as we walk up. I begin to make out people I knew, friends and family of Ethan’s. I make out their surprised looks when they recognize me but I keep my head on Harry’s traitorous chest and dance with him. I hated his guts.

“Excuse me, YN?” After the second song we’re interrupted. I look over to find Ethan’s brother looking at us nervously.

“Oh my god! Look at you!” I immediately crush him to me and he hugs me back with enthusiasm. “You’ve been working out!”

“Yeah,” he takes my hand as I turn my back on Harry. He takes the cue and moves off the floor. I dance with Ethan’s brother. “I started going to the gym. Mum said all the time playing video games wasn’t going to get me a decent girl.”

“And has it?” I ask him, my previous gloomy disposition is replaced by all the love I hold for this kid.

“Not really,” he blushes. “But I’m only 20. I have time yeah?”

“Oh yeah, you’ll find a really nice girl.” I pat his cheek.

“I’ve got to get this!” Ethan’s mum is suddenly near us snapping photos. “Ignore me! Continue what you’re doing!”

“Mum,” he groans and I laugh. When she moves out and the music is in its last chorus he speaks again. “I hope the girl I end up with is even as half as nice as you are.”

“Aw,” my heart is so full right now. It also hurt that I had to cut off contact with these lovely people because of Ethan. How a guy like that came from a family like this is beyond me. “I’m sure you will, you’re too sweet not to.”

“Ethan’s gi-wife. His wife can be a bit mean. We all liked you better.”

I don’t have words to respond back. I rub his shoulder as the song ends.

“She treats him really bad, she’s not always nice to him when mum’s not around. You were so much better.”

“I…” I didn’t want to talk shit about them at their wedding. And I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this. “I’m sure Ethan knows what he’s doing kid. And we can still be friends, my number’s the same if you or your mum are ever around town let me know okay?”

“Okay,” he looks content. I give him one last hug before deciding I was done with the night. But as the dance music comes on, I bump into Ethan’s cousin and we catch up a bit. She also tells me Ethan was an idiot. Even though I wasn’t here for validation, it felt nice knowing people saw my side.

As I head to my table to find Harry, someone catches my arm.

“Why do you keep talking to my family?” Ethan demands. I could tell he was one too many drinks in so I try to make my distance.

“Well they’re coming up to talk to me. I’m just catching up. Despite what a bag of dicks you are, your family is nice.”

I shock myself with how blunt it comes out. Tonight was rubbing off on me—Harry but also everything he did.

“I-I don’t know why you came. Why you’re with him. Van says he’s immature and emotional.”

“Sounds like she had a type,” I raise my eyebrow. I was on a role.

“Then so do you,” he rebuttles.

“Well the great thing about you cheating on me is that we broke up and we don’t have a say in each other’s lives. Your family still wants to talk to me, and they can. I can look at you and see how pathetic I was to have dated you. And it’s alright.”

“What happened to the sweet girl I used to date? My family liked her, not this bitch you became.”

“You cheated on the sweet girl,” I remind him. His jaw twitches.

“There you are,” Harry slides smoothly in beside me. His hand curls around my waist and I lean into him despite wanting to throw it off. “Ethan.”

Ethan looks between us before continuing to address me, “Are you two dating to get back at me or something?”

“You think I care enough about you to do that?” I raise my eyebrow. “I don’t give a shit about you Ethan.”

“Van chose me,” he tries Harry this time knowing I wasn’t bullshitting.

“Good for you,” Harry says with a clear voice but his hand tightens on me. “Congrats. YN and I should get going.”

We walk away in silence to our table. He lets go of me so I can get my purse. My face feels hot as I shuffle through it for the keys. I’m emotional; I feel bad for the sweet girl, the person I still try so hard to be. I’m just a doormat, even Harry saw that and walked all over me.

I’m tempted to leave Harry here, drive home now. But I didn’t want to stoop to levels that low. I know he had no one here and wouldn’t have a ride home. Maybe I should tell him to take the train but-

I hated driving in the dark. I walk to Harry and hand him the keys without a word. He just follows me, but we’re stopped a half a dozen times to say goodbye to people. Van’s cousin, Harry, tells Harry to stay in touch and tries to convince us to visit him in Prague. We put a final show of love on for him, promising soon, before stepping outside and stepping away from each other.

Finally, in the car, I turn on the heating. The evening had taken a chilly turn.

“Music?” Harry asks but I decline. I put my audiobook back on, unstrap my heels, and curl up in the passenger seat. Silently we make our way back to London.

I’m not sure how much time has passed when I wake up. The heat and the audiobook must have put me to sleep. My chair is tilted further back than I had it before, a jacket—Harry’s suit jacket is draped over me. It smells like what I call man. Cologne and something musky. Ethan smelled similarly. Maybe that’s what betrayal smells like, I think bitterly.

I sit up and unfold the jacket from me. We’re in a parking lot, no, services. Harry’s missing and I peer out for a while but I don’t see him anywhere. I start to get worried, it was 9:30 and he couldn’t be missing but I couldn’t sit here any longer.

I put his jacket on and step out. That’s all it takes. I find Harry sitting on the concrete, his back against the back passenger door, playing with a pack of cigarettes.

“Harry?” I confirm. I’d just woken up after all.

“Oh YN sorry,” he sounds tired. I spot a coffee by his feet but I eye the cigarettes.

“The smell of those gives me an instant migraine.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not smoking them. I used to I just…”

When he doesn’t finish the sentence, a specialty of his, I step out of the car and slide down my door beside him. The ground is uncomfortable but I settle in.

“You’re gonna get cold,” he says before noticing I was wearing his blazer.

“You’re not?” I ask.

He holds his coffee up, as if it were a small fire keeping him warm. We sit in silence for a little while, I don’t know why I feel bad for him even though he did all this tonight. Maybe it was like feeling bad for a sad puppy after they chewed through your shoes and you shouted at them. Maybe I just pitied him. I don’t know.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to accept,” he pauses, swallows. “She wasn’t even good for me. She could be so hot and cold, I used to walk on eggshells sometimes just to figure out if she was having a good or bad day. It was exhausting.”

“Hm,” I say to that.

“I don’t know why I thought I hit the jackpot with her. I thought if I let her go I would be the idiot. But now I realize she just made me so emotionally dependant on her, I lost myself when I was with her and when she let me go. I confronted her tonight, about inviting me. She admitted she wanted to see if I’d show, if I was still in love with her enough to show up. She just sent the invite to taunt me.”

I don’t say anything again. I was trying something different after all, I was trying not to be the sweet girl who made everyone feel better. It wasn’t getting me anywhere.

“I’m ashamed of myself,” he says in a quieter tone. “I don’t know who I’ve become. Tricking you like that…I don’t know why you didn’t force me to just walk home.”

“It doesn’t excuse your behaviour, or mean I forgive you.” I caution. “But I know what being in your situation is like. And you’ve been in it for over a year. I can only imagine what life’s like for you. And I thought about it, trust me, but walking home would’ve been cruel.”

“You’re not mean enough,” Harry says with humour.

“Aren’t I?” I look back at him. I don’t understand his expression, I do feel bad for him. But I don’t give into it. I let myself feel my own feelings too.

“Honestly I think you could do it. It would surprise everyone but you could. You should,” he finally says. It’s weird how he got me after only knowing me for a few hours. Most everyone I knew viewed me as 2 dimensional. It was an odd feeling to be seen in more dimensions.

“You’re a good person YN,” he says and my skin flushes in goosebumps. “Too good for people like Ethan or myself. That’s why I was kind of standoffish on our drive, I felt worse the more I got to know you. I should’ve said. But you deserve better.”

I look away from him. Into the night. A few cars are parked around, a kid cries from one of them. I look up at the stars that are barely visible and feel like the moment is a bit surreal. Like I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and think this was all a dream.

“Oh here,” Harry hands me a bag. I take it from him.

“Wow,” I pull out a cakepop.

“They’re good. Really sweet though.”

“I know,” I bite into one, surprised he’d gotten it. “This doesn’t mean I forgive you. You’re selfish and manipulative and I still don’t like you.”

“I wouldn’t expect you not to,” he stands up and dusts himself off. He reaches out a hand to me but I decline. I wanted to sit out here alone a little longer.

I finish the dessert in the cool air, and watch the scragglers move around the lot. People come and go, and I internalize that. I didn’t have to break myself apart to convince people to stay. I had to learn to stop doing that.

When I finally get into the car Harry’s re-routing the gps.

“We can put your audiobook back on?” Harry asks. I shake my head and pull his jacket back over me. Pretty soon I would fall back asleep and close to midnight I would hop over to the driver’s seat as Harry drops himself at home. Our goodbye is short and I watch him walk in before driving away. A part of me feels like this isn’t the end of us, but I’m relieved to see him go.

The next morning I’m right. It does all feel like a dream, but a dream that I feel changed by. Last night was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I pick up the phone to call my best friend and let her know.

I was changing.

———

TAG: @tiaamberxx

#harry styles fic #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #writingsfromhome #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #road trip #harry stylesxreader

[rosepascal]

Country Club Cutie | Steve Harrington x reader

warnings: Steve is a huge dick so uh, think s1 steve

a/n: So I got inspired to write a rich kid!steve fic so this might have a part 2 idk I havent really planned it this far lol.

You really hated working at the country club. Sure some of them tipped nice but that's only if you flashed them the fakest smile and wore a skirt that was a little too short. It felt like a whole different world here sometimes.

Talking about which vacation house they felt like going to that weekend while requesting their tea with 3 sugars and not 2. But what annoyed you the most were the snobby rich kids who never had to work a day in their life.

Always spoiled rotten and they came with an attitude. Like today. This boy with swoopy brown hair and a cocky smirk approached your bar. Him and his friends had been talking loudly and making mean comments about the staff that anyone who walked by could hear. But you couldn't do anything about it.

“Hi what can I-“

“Gin and Tonic.” The boy snaps his fingers and you clench your jaw.

"Coming right up." You force a smile and turn your back to him. Not even a minute later he speaks up again.

"Have you always worked here? I think I'd remember such a pretty face." You scoff at his shit attempt at flirting.

"I've been working here for two years."

"Woah don't get an attitude with me sweetheart, I was just asking." He smirks and you can hear his friends laugh.

Slamming his drink on the counter you slide it over to him. For the past two years you've had to put up with this bullshit and you were sick of it.

"Were you asking to know or were you asking just to be a dick? Just because you have daddy's money doesn't mean you can look down on the people who work here for your own entertainment." You snap and that cocky grin falls.

"It's crazy how out of touch you are with reality and I don't care if I get fired but I'm not putting up with this shit anymore." You slam your hands on the counter and walk out.

Leaving the boy standing there, shocked and in slight awe.

It's no surprise to you that you got called into the mangers office the next day. Not only were you on camera but you just knew that little shit had complained too. Your manager was an asshole too so you just wanted to get it over with so you could leave.

"After the disrespect you've showed, I should fire you." He says and you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"But, we've decided not to fire you." You raise your eyebrows.

"We?" The door opens behind you and your met with the boy from yesterday. A smile on his face as he goes past you to shake hands with your manager.

"Good to see you Harry." Your manager stands up smiles.

"This is Steve Harrington," The air is sucked out of your lungs as you turn to look at Steve who was nothing but smiles. Harrington. As in the Harrington family who owned this fucking country club.

"Nice to see you again sweetheart." He sticks out his hand and winks so that only you can see it. Reluctantly you shake his hand.

"Steve here has become interested in the business and after speaking to his father we all agreed to let Steve on in an assistant manager role. I have been having trouble overseeing all departments while training new hires." Your blood begins to boil as Steve smiles. You had a feeling where this was going and you didn't like it.

"So starting tomorrow Steve is going to be your new manager." You needed this job, you needed the money but right how you've never been more tempted to quit. To walk out and never look back.

"You're dismissed." Your manager waves his hand and you stand up, ready to get the hell out of there.

"I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart. Bright and early."

Oh this was going to be hell. Serious hell.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington imagine

[itsnotreal]

Louis comforting Harry during a thunderstorm (or the other way round)?

They were currently sat on the couch watching a movie. It was one of those psychology thrillers that was supposed to mess with a persons mind. They were Louis’ favorite. Harry was usually just confused as fuck.

“Wait, I’m so lost.” He mumbled to Louis and turned his face to look at the other man.

“Haz, the movies barely started.” Louis said with an eye roll.

“It’s so dumb that you have to wait the whole movie before it makes sense.” Harry grumbled, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders.

“That’s most movies, darling.” Louis turned to him with a lazy smirk on his mouth.

Harry scoffed, “You know what I—.”

The words cut off when he heard a rumbling sound.

“What was that?” He whispered, head snapping to look out the window. Fuck. When did it get so dark? “Is it storming?” He questioned, heart accelerating.

Louis wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, “It’s alright. I’m right here.”

There was a bright flash of light followed by a loud clap of thunder and Harry squeezed his eyes shut, head tilted into Louis’ neck now. “No.” He whined, and turned closer into Louis’ body.

The older man ran his fingertips over Harry’s back as he pressed his lips to the top of his head. “It’ll be over soon. Summer storms pass quickly.”

“We should move somewhere with no storms.” Harry mumbled into his neck.

Louis huffed, “Not sure that’s possible, love.”

“No, it is. I’m gonna start packing our things as soon as the storms over.” He yelped when thunder cracked again, a bit louder this time.

Louis hummed as if it was a nice thought, “Let me know when it’s all ready to go and I’ll call the movers.”

Harry squirmed away when Louis’ dug his fingers into his side, “Lou.” He whined, giggling when Louis twisted them around to climb on top of Harry and tickle him more firmly.

“What’s wrong, Haz?” Louis smirked, head tilted to the side all innocent.

“Stop.” Harry giggled, tried to squirm away but Louis hips help him in place.

“Don’t think so.” Louis leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to Harry’s mouth, who easily fell into it.

He wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck to deepen it and ran his fingers through the back of his hair.

Louis pulled back, but only enough to say. “Not so scared of the storm now, are you?”

Harry frowned, lower lip stuck in a pout. “Still am.”

Louis’ gave a smug tilt of his mouth, “Is that right?” He knew Harry was full of shit, but leaned down to seal their lips together again.

#(: #Drabble #HOPE YOU LIKE

[gabigabigabby]

all the things i hate about you | eddie munson

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 coming soon

eddie munson x celebrity!fem reader

synopsis: you had put your past with eddie munson as part of the emotional baggage that turns into a songwriting drive. you finally come back to your birthplace of hawkins indiana for the last show of your tour. you invited your entire circle to the show, but you forgot that by your entire circle, your ex boyfriend would be showing up too.

wc: 1.8k

category: INSANE AMOUNTS OF ANGST. with a happy ending (:

content/warnings: flashbacks. lovers to strangers. toxic relationship.

a/n: inspired by this blurb, i decided this should take a modern twist, where the songs are all from this age. there's so much angst to this, pls prepare yourselves LMAO. the songs i will be referencing besides linked are 'blonde' by maisie peters and 'die first' by nessa barrett

++

"y/n y/l/n: rage like a metalhead world tour."

now where has eddie munson heard that album title before? oh. right. the last metallica concert he dragged you to. and probably the very last metallica concert he'll ever attend.

"time to rage huh?" you stood in line with eddie, your facial expression pining for eddie to say those four words you adored coming out of his mouth.

"rage like a metalhead." eddie grins, pulling you under his arms as you wait in line to see papa het downstrum the fuck out of the songs.

that memory, you had wiped away from your mind the day you packed up your shit and left the munsons' trailer. you left wayne stunned, and eddie nonplussed. if eddie thinks his friends are more important than your love and relationship, that's the biggest sign for you to up and leave without looking back.

you were going to lend eddie munson the spotlight too. to help corroded coffin out by getting them multiple gigs in new york. hopefully by the end of all that, sign to the record label that took you in. go on tour. play the fucking garden if eddie so chooses.

two years later, your debut album did well, making you one of the biggest rock sensations in the united states. headbangers, eddie's favorite metal and rock radio station would receive requests to blast at least one of your songs every night. it's as if no matter where he goes and what he does, eddie munson can never get away from you.

"oh hey, it's y/n on the radio!" gareth smiled one night when your newest hit song 'blonde' blared on the radio. all eddie did was sigh, look out the window and smoke his joint.

baby, if you thought that i was trouble, then you're gonna hate what's coming next

"lighten up munson," gareth glared. "the least you could do is be happy for your ex."

"i am, man. but there's a reason why we're exes, gareth," eddie snapped. "she left me. to go to fuckin' new york and live her dream. our dream. it was ours."

kinda like your worst nightmare but double. is that an angel? no it's your ex

"yeah man, because you said we are more important than she is. you're supposed to say she's more important. it's all on you." gareth shrugs, taking a drag of his blunt.

"shut up man, are you on my side or hers?!" eddie shouted, smacking gareth's arm with his right hand and gesturing at the radio with his left.

remember when you screwed up when i was a brunette? i don't think you knew just what you'd done

woah, oh, i'll fuck your life up as a blonde

the last interview he saw of you, you had recently bleached your hair in honor of your brand new single. eddie couldn't take his eyes off you when he tuned in at the hideout. and since you and eddie were a regular to the bartenders, one of them approached eddie while he was boring his brown eyes through the tv screen.

"big star now huh, y/n y/l/n?" harry the bartender nudged his head upwards. "thought you'd be tagging along since you're... joined at the hip." harry air-quoted.

"nah, harry," eddie took a sip of his whiskey on the rocks. "she left me."

"bummer," harry winces. "sorry 'bout that, eddie."

"it's okay," eddie cringed harry's apology away. "you think she already has a boyfriend?"

harry chuckled. "i don't wanna hurt you eddie, but a beautiful girl like y/n, no man is stupid enough to walk past her and not double take her."

and harry was right. no man wouldn't double take you. if eddie saw you out on the streets and you both never knew each other, he'd double take you any day.

"earth to eddie!" robin's clapping her hands before eddie's zoned out eyes. "are you listening to us?"

"no. shit, sorry," eddie sits up, rubbing his eyes. "what'd you say?"

"y/n put all of us on the guest list for her hawkins show in three days." robin explains, sounding exasperated that she has to repeat herself.

"if you don't want to go then that's alright." steve shrugs, his arms crossed.

eddie pfts. "i won't miss a kickass rock concert in hawkins just because y/n's my ex, alright? i'm goin'." god, did eddie wish he didn't say that up front.

++

yep. eddie munson is starting to regret coming here. he didn't even bother to get nicely dressed. he wore an old band tee that he ended up cutting the sleeves off because he hates how tight they were on his biceps. he threw on a pair of black ripped jeans and paired them with his favorite checkered vans. his hair was pulled up in a low messy bun, adjusting his flyaways to the sides of his face. it framed his face perfectly.

robin had asked him about his choice of tee before they left. "it constricted my fucking arms when i tried them on, buckley!" he argued. "plus, it looks better sleeveless. that way girls can see the sweet ol' tatties i got."

"girls?" robin scoffed. "you mean y/n?"

"no, man. girls. like, legit girls. who knows, i might find the one at this concert tonight."

"this concert?" robin repeats, flabbergasted. "this concert? it's y/n's concert, eddie. it's not just somebody else's concert where you could find a one-night stand and call it a day. you don't wanna be there for your ex, then be there for your friend."

"alright, jeez." eddie glares, walking out to his car and starting the engine, waiting for robin to get in the passenger seat.

and so there eddie stood, max and eleven on his left and robin and nancy on his right, screaming every single word to 'blonde', the song you had confirmed in an interview was written about an ex of mine. as much as eddie wants to scream fuck you! to you, he wouldn't quit staring at you like you were the only girl in the world. because no matter what eddie says about you to his friends, you'd still take his breath away just by existing.

"thank you so much, you guys, for showing up for me tonight," you preen to the massive crowd before you. "this is the last show of the tour and i'm just so excited to be able to finish it here in my hometown of hawkins, indiana!" the crowd goes wild, because if they didn't, eddie himself would get on the barricade and force a clap and cheer out of them.

"listen," the crowd dies down as you begin to speak. "i wanna thank the most amazing friends a girl from hawkins could ever have. lemme call you guys out real quick; steve harrington, robin buckley..." the crowd cheers after every name you mention. "mike and nancy wheeler, will and jonathan byers, dustin henderson, max mayfield, el hopper, lucas and erica sinclair... and most importantly. the man i used to call the love of my life, i wanna thank you for being here." for the first time, eddie saw the first smile you've ever flashed at him since the big breakup.

"eddie munson, thank you for everything. i mean it," your right hand pats your chest, where your heart rests underneath. "and thank you for being the inspiration for this next song. i love you." the giggle at the beginning of the song starts to play. the crowd screams again. because who doesn't recognize that giggle? eddie's smile disappears within a split second.

this song, you wrote it about eddie. it seemed like your entire career was the flower that managed to bloom out of the eroded soil of you and eddie's relationship. you weren't afraid to admit that, but who knows what the press would say if you did.

take a bow, you've got everybody fooled, i got you figured out

you make eye contact with eddie. oh god damn it. if eddie munson was made out of frozen milk, he'd be melted ice cream by now. your stare was sharp as daggers, you could kill the metalhead on the spot.

now you're choking on your words, well, you should spit it out

god, if only he could dig a hole into the ground of this stupid arena, crawl into it and die.

know that i gave you the world and you just gave me hell

your eyes pan back to eddie, giving him that sharp stare again.

and you gave me hell

eddie's just confused now; did you mean it when you said that cursed eight letter term of endearment, or did you just say it because of the irony of the next song you were going to play?

felt like a hundred punches, too many tough pills to stomach

i watched you making it public; lights, camera— fuck it

the song he wrote about you. of course you heard it. steve and robin had sent the mixtape to you in new york. his lyrics were along the lines of you left me, well, that's too bad. i hope i'll never meet another you. god, you hated it. him, the song, the fact that he wrote about you and played it to the drunkards of hawkins as if they could give two fucks. this was your revenge.

you're a showstopper, a bad liar, homie hopper, drama starter...

eddie munson was truly the worst liar. all the times he would lie about hanging out with chrissy cunningham instead of you. oh, he hurt you bad. but you never said anything. what has love turned you into? a non-confrontational asshole, that's what.

that homie hopper line was the worst thing you've ever had to experience. eddie, you and the gang had decided to drunkenly play seven minutes in heaven at steve's birthday party two years ago. shocking enough, the bottle had landed on both eddie and nancy. and i'm sure you know how seven minutes in heaven works. they either stand in the closet awkwardly or do something unforgivably wrong. in this case, eddie had decided it be fun and risky to make out with nancy wheeler.

eddie walked out with nancy's lipstick all over his lips, but it was smeared in such a messy manner to avoid you seeing it. but of course, you saw. jonathan had to walk out of the room when he noticed nancy's lipstick on eddie's neck. you immediately told steve to drive you home the second you realised the lipstick all over his face.

all my friends are fucked, we all got you in common

chrissy cunningham and nancy wheeler. need you say more? you've forgiven the two, though. but eddie? you could never forgive him for that.

you're so fake and everyone should know about it, and all the things i hate about you

"don't look down munson. look at me." you smirk, embarrassing him even more. oh you love when he gets all flustered and ashamed.

all the things i hate about the way you manipulate me, left you with no explanation

every word is true, all the things i hate about you.

++

part two will be coming. like, reshare, reblog and maybe... you'll get part two tomorrow 😌

#eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #steve x eddie #stranger things 4 #stranger things #stranger things angst #steve harrington #nancy stranger things #robin x nancy #nancy wheeler #chrissy cunningham #eddie x chrissy

[cevansbaby-dove]

Jensen and Reader fic part 3.

Check out the last part here

Jensen's Pov.

It's four fifty, should i leave now? Oh shit did i say i'd pick her up or meet her there? I pace around and text her.

J-Hey ☺Can't wait to see you tonight 😊

I set my phone down. "jensen what the fuck is that!? can't wait too. oh shit i am so messed up!" I pace and Misha walks in and says. 'Okay i brought the script and oh hey Jens everything ok?"

"No no no i am a fucking nervous wreak oh my god!" Misha sits by me and says. "What's wrong?"

I look at the ground and say. 'i asked y/n out and now i am so nervous i mean i shouldn't even be! she is my best friend..."

Misha says to me. "Well if you like her then that's a good thing to be nervous then means you care about her"

I look at him and nod. "yea i guess, i should get ready"

i walk into my room and grab a shirt and jeans. I walk back out and put my shoes on. "okay heading out uh wish me luck pleaseeee!!"

Misha laughs at me. "you'll be fine just be yourself you know she loves that" i nod and say. "Right got it thanks" I walk out.

Y/N's pov.

"Dee come on what should i wear?" She thinks. 'hmm something sexyy!" You put out a shirt a jeans and say. "something like this?"

Danneel nods. 'Girl that is cute!!" I smile. "ok heels or not heels?' She says. "heels, men lovee heels!!"

I put my outfit on and walk out. "eh?" she claps. 'Love it!!"

I see it's five pm and i say. 'Okay Jens should be here any minute" I fix my hair and grab my purse and Dee says. "have fun!"

I smile. "thank-" I hear a knock on the door. "oh that might be him." I walk to the door and open it. "hi jens come in"

he walks in and I say. "you clean up well" He smiles. "Thanks darling, oh hi" he waves at my best friend and roommate Danneel Harris.

She smiles. "Hello nice to meet you." She holds her hand out and he shakes it and she says. "you can call me Dee, Y/N does"

He nods. "okay Dee nice to meet you" She looks at me and winks. I roll my eyes. "okay bye girlie! Love you!"

She kisses my cheek and says. "love you too have fun!"

Jensen and walk out to his car and he says. "Dee seems very nice" You nod. "yea she's amazing!"

Jensen opens the door for you and you smile. "thanks" you get in and he shuts the door and gets into the driver's side and drives away from my home.

Jensen says. "oh shit i didn't get you flowers!" he sighs and you smile. "Jens it's just one date maybe next time you can get me pizza" He laughs. "pizza?"

"yes i love pizza"

Jensen gets to the restaurant soon and you are lead to the table and you sit down and say looking around. "oh my god i feel under dressed now!"

I look at Jens and he says. "Nah you look beautiful!" I smile and bite my lip slightly and say. "Aww thanks jens!"

You guys order drinks and your food.You snap a picture of your food and jens starts picking at his and you laugh. "Jens i was taking a picture!"

He laughs. "Sorry darling!"

Your Instagram: #wineanddine

Tagged: JensenAckles

Jensen looks at his phone when it goes off. he smirks and says. "tagging me to make it official?"

You smile. "If that's ok with you"

"yes it is darling, i think i'll do the same but i'll turn comments off" You nod. "yea good idea"

Jensen snaps a picture then says. "Come here" You get up from your seat and walk over to him and he snaps a picture of you two.

JensenAckles: #stunning!

Tagged:Yourinstagram

Comments are turned off.

You smile and say as you sit back in your seat. "jens you tagged me aww!" He smiles. "Duh!" You laugh and take a bite of food.

Later that night.

You get home and turn to see jensen smiling. He says. "well, I had a great time Y/N."

Nodding you say. "Thanks, I had fun too Jens see you on set tomorrow?" He nods. "see you then" Dee texts you.

Dee-KISS HIM!!

You roll your eyes and say. "oh jeez" Jensen says. "what is it?"

"Danneel being...Danneel!" Jensen smirks. "What was said?" You say. "Uh nothing, have a good night, thanks for the fun night"

He nods and says. "See you around Darling"

You walk into your home and Dee is there with her arms crossed. "You didn't kiss him!?!"

You set your purse down and slip the heels off. "No it was just dinner" She says. "oh come on it was not just a dinner Y/N he likes youuu and you like him"

She winks and you say. 'i'm going to bed"

the next day you walk on set and Jensen is looking over a script, you smile and say behind him. "morning J"

He turns around and says. "Morning Y/N" Jared walks to you guys. "Oh hey Y/N, how was dinner?"

"it was great i had so much fun" Jensen smiles and says. "food was fabulous!" Jared says. "ah great to hear!"

Jensen says. "I should get to the set, see you for lunch?" You nod. "Sure! have fun"

Jensen looks at Jared and says. "Ahem don't you have your part to do?" You smile and Jared says. "Oh right sorry! bye Y/N see you around"

You wave. 'bye Jar"

He walks away and jensen stands in front of you and says. "I did have fun with you darling made me think of...maybe being..more than friends?"

You smile and say. "Sure Jay!" He hugs you and Jared and the cast clap.

Jensen laughs and you say. "okay okay guys come on" Jensen kisses the side of your head and Jared says. "oh Booo!!!!"

Jensen says. "you guys i am not going to kiss her in front of you all god" You smile and say. "okay filming time"

You walk away and look at your script and your make up artist gets you ready and she says. "oh i heard you went out with Jens..how was it?"

You smile as you get lip gloss on. "good"

"just good? i saw the picture you two look cute" You blush. 'uh thanks" You get your hair done and get onto work.

Thank you for reading!! i am so in love with how this is going.

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