#i want to get away but i can't so everyday is just like guess ill die but i can't do that either so im just stuck and it fucking. sucks.

[abbythewritor]

"Fairness" One Piece x Saitama reader, Nine.

"Just a Normal girl looking for an everyday life. At least, if you call sailing across the seas with idiots with useless dreams a simple task, then you might wanna see a doctor. Seriously."

Warnings: Blood, gore, mentions of Luekimia, and heaps amount of blood and strength. It might be a little cursing, but not bad, and maybe some flirting in there, but it's mostly clean.

Other things:

-You didn't get bald due to your powers; you got bald to an extreme illness.

-You part of the straw hat crew, but others are interested in you and your power.

-Everyone that is a male is taller than you.

-Monsters from the OPM world will appear in One Piece, and I'll make some new monsters you will fight.

Enjoy the Ninth chapter, everyone!! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"CU-A-AH-CUTIE!!!!!"

The ground below you exploded as you landed in front of the admirals and a Giant orc whose head was bleeding.

Your eyes were darkened, your wig nowhere to be found, as your bald head was revealed, to the world, a new world.

Everyone around you was shocked, as your face didn't change a shade, as the dust finally calmed down, as your eyes and face looked up at the three men, your mouth son forming a snarl shape.

It seemed like Luffy made it as well, as he was smiling, his body all wet thanks to Jimbei helping him. I didn't have time to chit-chat; instead, I teleported from my spot, somewhat closer to the three admirals, as my leg returned. "DISTRACTING WIND KICK!" I yelled, kicking the air right in front of them as a blast of wind came from the impact, but Aokiji froze the air somehow, which made my eyes widen, as the three bolted to me.

I was able to teleport away, didn't know Luffy had a plan as when I teleported, a large log was thrown at them.

Stopping, Aokiji froze the log as well, forcing it back to Luffy, who broke it into millions of Pieces, using the gatling attack, but with his foot to send the pieces back to them.

That destracted the three, as I grabbed Luffy's hand. "Come on!" I zoomed quickly behind them, both of us flying to the execution platform Until Kizaru caught up to us, about to kick Luffy. "Too Slow, Mugiwara..." My eyes widened when he kicked Luffy far, my head whipping that way. "Luffy!" I yelled, blocking Kizaru's kick to my easily, as my head looked to him. "You made it this far little one, I'm surprised....especially with that injury of yours..." I smirked to him. "Do you think I'd let a sharp stick take the best of me? Think again!" I pushed his leg of, both of us going back as I slid on the floor, as he just simply landed as well. "Your strong. Guess I won't back down when facing you this time..."

But, as he was saying that, the men were about to execute Ace, which I saw, as my eyes widened. "ACE!!" I yelled, the weapons about to go down on him as Kizaru saw a chance to leave, not bothered to fight me which pissed me off, but I bolted, faster to Ace, not wanting him to die yet.

I was far away, I needed to move faster, but, time had different plans, as the weapons were already almost to the kill points.

'SHIT! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW FAIRNESS WORKS! HE CAN'T DIE! NOT LIKE THIS!' I thought, moving even faster, but, it was too late, as I was just too far away from him.

Or so I thought.

Sand erupted under the platform boards, killing the two guards before the blades could poke Ace, as mine, and everyone else's eyes widened, as Sengoku's teeth gritted with annoyance, looking for the coraprate.

My face turned releifed, a smile plastering my face as Crocodile strood firm in the crowed, his cloak blowing in the wind, sand swirling around him as the marines pointed guns at him, as he didnt' hesitate.

"I thought that it was to our advantage to have you since you hold a grudge against whitebeard. Crocodile." He finished, Luffy's eyes widened in surprise, hopping out of the debree, ignoring the marines surrounding him as well, as Marco landed on a metal beam above, while Jimbei was still in the water. I smirked, as I look straight at garp. "He still wanted to kill the old man. But he and the waters have changed. Do you think he's stupid to let the Marines get what they want?"

Crocodile looked to me, landing beside him as I touched his hook. "Are you alright?" He looked down at me. "I should be asking you that." I smiled. "Ah, right, just a scratch, I'll pull through, thanks for Saving Ace." He nodded, and looked back at Sengoku. "Don't think I switched dramatically, I can kill the old man later, like Y/n-san said....I won't let the mairnes have this win...or a taste of victory.." His words sent shivers down your spine, as you saw a white line go to his neck. Curious, my head tilted, as I simply grabbed the white line, which only scratched me. "Huh? What's this?" Crocodiles eyes widened, as he recognised the white line, as he looked to hear a familiar laugh, Doflamingo walking to the two of us. "Hey, you, gator guy! You turned me down and now, you wanna team up with Whitebeard and this cutie? It makes me Jealous." He smirked, his power leaving my hands, as I glared to him, as crocodile did as well. "I'm not gonna team up with anybody. I'll make an accepting arrangement to Y/n....she earns my respect..." Corcodile spoke, Doflamigno's smirk growing wider. "So that means your still giving me the cold shoulder, even taking the cutie with you, how fair is that?" "Looks like it's fair to me...I ain't taking her no where bird brain....think of it as being fair." I smile up at him when he looked to me, as Doflamingo let out anouth laugh. "I see then, let's see how this fairness deal plays out!" He attacked as well as Crocodile, as both of them clashed together, knocking some marines back.

My eyes widened with surprise, worried, but saw this as a helping opportunity, Luffy did as well, as we bolted away, heading back towards the platform.

We scattered everyone, clearing a pathway like bowling pins, as I was able to catch up to him.

My eyes looked up at Ace, who was looking down, not at us as I knew how he felt, which made me want to push forwards, to not loose.

As we kept fighting, dodging, trying to survive, as got closer and closer, until Luffy got hit with an Ice shard, as my eyes widened. "LUFFY!" He flung back, his back slamming and sliding on the floor,

Admrial Aokiji stood before him, taking the ice weapon out of his arm, towering over Luffy. "I owed a favor to your grandfather.." He lifted the weapon again. "But I have no choice! Because you chose to risk your life!" But, before he could stab Luffy again, I bolted, standing in front of Luffy, which made his eyes widened,until Marco kicked his side, sending Aokiji flying.

My eyes widened, eyes locking to the man, as Luffy did as well. "Y-Y/n." He spoke, as I just look up at Marco with admiration. "Thank you, for saving my tail.." He smirked down at me. "No problem Miss, Yoi, don't get your cute but in danger again ok?" He winked, turning to fight again as my heart raced, my mouth soon letting out a snort as I turned to Luffy. "Are you alright?!" He nodded, but winced when he leaned on his bad arm, as I held it gently. "Hang on." I ripped both of my pant leg fabrics, exposing my rather large thighs, as marines started to blush, as I wasn't bothered with the stairs, as I kneeled down, wrapping Luffy's arm with the fabric. "So no dirt or debree will get into it." His face watched me with awe, the sunlight shining on the battlefield behind me, as his heart raced, a small smile forming his lips. "Thank you, Y/n-san. What would I do without you?" I sighed. "Probably be dead." He chuckled. "Your right, but, that's not who I am. I came here fighting, for a purpose, for a reason, and that's to save Ace, so you can join my crew." My eyes widened. "Why would saving Ace make me join your crew?" He smiled. "So I can prove to you how good of a captain I can be, even if everyone is separated. Yet again, I'm not just saving Ace to get what I want, I'm saving him because he's my brother-" He pause when we heard explosions, as the giant Orc that helped a ship to land, got shot down, as mine and his eyes widened.

"N-No.." I whispered, as the Orc was an innocent soul, which was falling down to his death.

As he was falling, I saw him look to whitebeard, who held a face of remorse and sadness, as he looked back up to Sengoku.

The action made the old man pissed, as he clenched the weapon in his hand, as he began to walk, towards the edge of his own ship.

Everyone was watching, as he jumped over, right on the ground below.

"WHITEBEARD HAS DECENDED TO THE PLAZA!!" A marine yelled, as the man stood back up, Marines pointing their guns as him. "Stay back, my sons!" he ordered, looking ahead as he lifted up his two handed weapon, a white ball of energy coming out of it while he yelled swinging it to the left.

Cracks were made in the air, which caused your eyes to widen, which broke, a large amount of energy escaping as a shit tone of marines scattered everywhere, like an invisible bomb went off.

As i held onto Luffy as the wind picked up, soon it died down, as whitbeards face was lined with black, as he was angry, his own main grew hopping down with him before he held up his fist. "GUYS! RESCUE ACE AND DESTROY THE NAVY!!!" His words made me smirk, as I was done with Luffy's injuring, both of us hopping up, as we joined them, both of us bolting.

'Don't worry Ace.' I thought, as me and Luffy looked up at him, who's eyes were filled with water.

'We're on our way!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was tragic. Oars death.

It affected ace, as of the whitebeard crew, as Marco stood in front of him, with a blank face. "Thank you, Oars." He spoke, turning, to seek out the battle, as it was pure an utter chaos, more chaotic than before.

Whitebeard was walking, preparing energy on his weapon again. "Clear the way for me!" He ordered, his crew following orders as they ran, whitebeard about to do his main attack again, until Aokiji went up in the air, putting his hands together. "ICE BALL!" I large amount of ice spread throughout, heading to whitebeard to enclose him, as I turned, looking that way. "OLD MAN!" I yelled, telling Luffy to go ahead, as I bolted, Aokiji landing, as some marines though he was trapped.

But oh boy, where they wrong.

The ice suddenly broke, as I simply punched it, freeing the Yonko, as the Admrials eyes widened. "Ah! The kid is on his side! How could I forgotten!" Getting his powers ready again, as he jumped, about to attack me. "ICE..." I turned, Whitebeard growling with annoyance as his weapon came up, stabbing the Admiral straight through, protecting me.

My eyes widened from his actions, time stopped, as whitebeards large hand was shielding me from some shards, his hand bleeding. "O-Old man!" I yeld, as he glared down at me. "Don't be reckless next time brat.....your lucky it was just my hand and not your heart.." I gulped, as Aokiji's hand grabbed his weapon, Ice forming on it, as my eyes widened. "Pops!" I yelled, him not changing a shade, until Aokiji was hit, spread apart while he turned himself into snow.

A gaint man, his arm lined with Dimon projectect whitebeard, as he landed in front of him and me. "Pops! Move forwards!"

Whitebeard nodded. "Right, I leave him to you. Don't fail me." Whitebeard moved forwards, as I followed after, going ahead of him, as Aokiji was left with the Dimond dude, as the battle and war continued.

Luffy was way ahead, looking up at Ace, as Garp noticed this, his body shaking with sadness and fear for Luffy's life, as Sengoku just simply looked to him not saying anything.

But, as Luffy continued to run, he got slashed down, by a navy Vice admiral, as my eyes widened again. "LUFFY!!!" He slid on the floor, face first, his breaths more tired and heavy. "Vie admiral? The same rank as G-Grandpa?" He asked, slowly getting up, he tried to fight him off, but another Vice admrial came to help, Knocking Luffy down again, which made me run faster. "DON'T GET UP! I'M COMING LUFFY!!" I ran even faster, when Kizaru sent an explosion his way, as I teleported behind kizaru, kicking him easily out of the way, into the nearest building, as I was beside Luffy once more. "Luffy! Fuck, Luffy can you hear me?!" I was worried, until Kizaru came back. "Why don't you both just go away?" I dodged him, but he kicked Luffy away, making him fly to whitebeard, who caught him like a doll.

I sighed with releif, but still felt worried as Luffy was gravely injured, whitebeard glaring to him, as Luffy was upside down. Kizaru smirked at the sight. "OOOH! Whitebeard's command has dulled. You could've done better than that. I can't belive that you let that piece of crap...who is so reckless, take the lead!" His words made me angry, though they were meant to whitebeard who was holding Luffy, as my face lined with Anger. Soon enough, I stepped in front of him, and Luffy, my arms holding out widem my face serious. "I won't let you hurt either of them!" Kizaru's eyes slightly widened. "Oh really?That's a bold move coming from you Little one..." He readied his devil fruit again, as Whitebeards crew stepped in front of him also, ready to protect pops at all cost. "Oh how touching! A family reunion....let's see how all of you can survive this-" "THERE THEY ARE! Y/N-GIRL AND STRAW BOY!" A familiar voice spoke, as I turned and smiled, everyone else did as well, as Ivanka grew in size, herself like a giant as some pirates and marines spit their Saliva out. "I KNEW IT! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT WAS HAPPENING!" she told Jimbei, who was standing beside her large head. JImebi jumped down, worried for Luffy as Ivanka looked to me. "IS HE DEAD Y/N GIRL?!" My brows furrowed, looking down. "He's badly injured..." Ivanka called, Luffy struggling in whitebeards hold, as he tossed him to some crew members to get checked out and treated, as I bolted, running that way. Luffy struggled against their hold, getting out as he pleaded to let him go and save Ace, as everyone heard his hurtful cries and please, but as he left and tried to run, he just tumbled to the floor again, as I rushed to his side. "Luffy!" I spoke, worried, as Jimbei went beside me, as I shook him, trying to get him to wake up, but nothing was happening, as he was passed out.

"Shit..! Surgeon you have to do something, please! He needs to save Ace!" The doctor reasurred me he will do his work, as Jimbie looked back, as whitebeard and Aukini clashed, large amounts of Whit/red energy clashing each other, as I never seen so much power in my life. "Y/n-San! Let's leave Luffy with the surgeon! We need to move forwards!" I didn't like his statement, but understood as all Luffy wants to do is rescue Ace. I turned to look at him, my face gently caressing his face. "Don't worry Luffy...we'll rescue Ace...you'll recover...I have faith...." Before i left, I pecked his cheek gently, yet lovingly, before running with Jimbei, advancing to the battle.

Marco seemed to be coming with us, as many allies of the whitebeard pirates joined as well, all of us heading to Ace's direction. Looking to Marco through the smoke, I yelled to him. "Try to see is you can get to Ace by air!" Liking my statement, he already thought of that plan as he advanced high in the air, which the admirals saw.

Sengoku, annoyed, spoke in the snail thing. "WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!? SHOOT HIM DOWN ALREADY!!" As some of the marines tried to shoot Marco, but didn't work. "W-WE CAN'T" They replied as Marco got closer, until Garp got up from his seat, bolting to Marco, who easily got knocked back by him.

But, for Marco to do an areal attack was all apart of your plan, as you looked to Jimbei. "Give me a boost!" I spoke, Stopping a little ways from him as he knew what I was doing, and nodded..

Once Jimbei bended down a little, I ran to him, his large hands getting stepped on by my feet as he used his strength to push me up high in the sky, as I used my incredible speed to get even closer, right up to Sengoku's face. "You think that was the only move he thought of!? Think again!"

I puched Sengoku, away from Ace as he stumbled off the platform, his teeth gritting with annoyance, looking up as I landed on the platform, my eyes dark.

Ace was shocked, looking up at me, as I didn't let my guard down, as I simply sat down, as I knew Luffy was going to get up. "Ace.." I spoke, himself still not believing I'm right next to him, as my head turned to face him. "Are you ready to be rescued?" My words were almost a myth, as he just looked down at me, as I simply blankly looked at him, as I scooted closer.

But, as I got coser, Garp, Sengoku, and some of the Admrials surrounded the two of us, as his eyes widened. "Get out of the way!!" I didn't change a shade of emotion, instead, I looked to the four, before my eyes slightly widened. "Die." Energy came out of me, a unique sound going throughout everywhere, as the energy spread through the adrmials, pushing them back, as their eyes widened, recognizing the power.

All of them landed to the floor, some other marines and pirates unable to stand, as tinted yellow electricity and light came out of me, as if the energy is destructive.

'I-It can't be...' Ace thought, looking to me with utter shock, as did garp and the admrials.

Ivankove and Jimbei where shocked as well, Marco and pops smirking, as of Doflamingo, who him and Crocodile paused their fighting, looking my way, as did Mihawk, whoput his sword away. A small smile formed his lips, as he finally understood me, as I was just like Luffy, not wanting to back down. "Looks like you evolved, little rabbit...." He spoke, his heart racing wildly, as Whitebeard's smirk was still on his face. "The brat........"

"Has conquerer's Haki..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author: WOOOOHOOO!! Another chapter done! Sorry it took awhile, I have been busy with my everyday life and writing other chapters from other books. I hope you all are still doing safe, and don't forget about the fanart contest by the end of the week!

For this book make sure you do two things.

Draw Y/n by herself.

And draw any character from this book with her, or your favorite scene so far.

The only Major rule I require is no adult content, or your art will be disqualified!

Anyways, I have to prepare for work tomorrow and have a blessed evening!

BYE LOVELIES!!"

#one piece x reader #anime #franky #one piece #fanfiction #luffy #nami #one piece fandom #sanji #usopp #Marco #Whitebeard #whitebeard crew #Whitebeard pirates #Black beard #Dolfamingo #Crocodile #monkey d dragon #sir crocodile #mihawk #crocomom #one piece ivankov #bon clay #yamato #kiku #ivan kovalev #emporio ivankov #Jimbei #Sengoku #Admiral Aokiji

[emberswrites]

Have you ever thought of someday posting all of your Tumblr drabbles in a collection on ao3? they're always so lovely, I think that would be great

Anyway, here it goes: Realisation + Sai

Thanks for doing this, these little snippets make my day!

This is going to sound very dumb but I actually didn't really think of doing that, I guess because I didn't think I'd be doing so many? But since I now have quite a few it's not a bad idea at all, anon. I think I will actually do that because it would be nice to have the writing in one place and easy to find. And thank you, glad you enjoy them!

Prompt Game - Bonus Ino appearance.

Sai is still learning how to understand the impossible combinations of words, expressions, body language, and gestures that make up the puzzle of everyday communication. He's been getting better with the help of his new friends and his new sensei.

Only sometimes, Kakashi is the puzzle and he's not always so helpful.

Today, Kakashi looks rather dour, even though Sasuke had sent word that he'd successfully helped a community in Ame defend from a crime ring and would be staying an extra few months to see to it's safety as they rebuilt leadership.

He should be thrilled, Ame continued to be a vulnerable region and any threats stamped out there not only made good political sense but would help the many disadvantaged who continue to live there.

Kakashi had merely sighed after he'd read the correspondence, muttered a soft good, that's good before turning back to the stack of papers on his desk. Sai had asked if Kakashi needed anything, only for him to look up and give Sai that special kind of smile, the one that looked a little too much like his own had, empty.

"No thank you, Sai. That will be all."

He relays this odd encounter to Ino over lunch and she hums.

"Well, maybe he's just tired."

"He's always tired."

"Ugh, so true. He's too handsome to be working so hard," she says wistfully.

Sai isn't sure what an aesthetically pleasing face has to do with work ethic or load, but he makes a note to ask about this later. He can only handle so much examination of the human condition at once.

"Do you think it's Sasuke that upset him? Being reminded of his charge having to make up for his ills and failings, unlike Naruto and Sakura?"

This would make Sai feel rather sad, he thinks. Kakashi-sensei is a good man and shouldn't have to feel so responsible, to the point he can't even be happy at good news.

"Hm?" Ino begins to shake her head before pausing, "No, why would hearing from- wait. Oh you may be on to something Sai! Well done."

"What is it?"

"Well, he misses him obviously," she shrugs, "You know, when someone you care about isn't around and you want to see them."

Sai does know this ache. He resolves to be more helpful, maybe that would help take Kakashi's mind off his incomplete team. He decides to stop by the Tower earlier the next day to check in and be of good use to his sensei, only when he gets there he senses another chakra presence.

He instinctually minimizes his own signature, although he is not alone in the hallway as other shinobi move about beginning or ending their work days. He has rather good hearing and it isn't hard for him to pick up on the conversation inside as he waits.

"You didn't have to come back," Kakashi is saying, "I wouldn't have said it if I thought you'd come back because of it."

"I know-"

Sasuke? Sai blinks, Sasuke is meant to be in Ame for months.

"-but I wanted to. I miss you, too, you know. It's not...this isn't easy for me. But I am compelled to do it all the same. It isn't about...making up for anything, I just think I should be using this power where it's needed."

Ah, so Ino had been right - Kakashi had been sad at Sasuke being away again. But then, he was always away. Even Naruto had gotten used to it by now.

"I know, and I adore you for it. I just - selfishly - wish it didn't take you away from us so much. There will never be a shortage of strife or calamity...your life can't be just attending to the world's ills."

"Hm. And you?"

"What about me?"

"Shikamaru told me you barely go home."

"What would I do at home?"

There is a silence after this. A long silence, Sai notes. It's broken by a breathy laugh, Sasuke's by the sound of it.

"There's your agenda for today. Tell Shikamaru you're taking the day off, I'll have you back here and energized by tomorrow morning, promise."

"That soon?"

"Until next time."

"Next time, you stay longer than a day then."

"Deal."

Sai takes several steps back as the door swings open and the two walk out.

"Ah," Kakashi says, "You've been waiting, sorry Sai. You can check in with Shikamaru when he's in soon. Shouldn't be long, will you tell him I'm cashing in one of those vacation days Shizune's always on about?"

"Oh, yes," he says, smiling lightly, "What will you do, sensei?"

"Don't answer that," Kakashi says when Sasuke looks like he's about to, "We'll be at home, if the sky is falling."

Sai watches them walk away, puzzled. Home? Who's home? Sasuke doesn't have one here any longer, not a physical one anyway. Kakashi's home? Does Sasuke stay there when he's in town?

Are they holding hands?

Oh.

OH.

Yes, Sai will definitely need to note this one down in his book.

#kakasasu #feels like lightning #embers' asks

[yourfifitherealone]

I Still Love You, No Matter What

(pic by @lylawyla on insta)

I know I said I would leave her alone, but I just don't know why she would cheat on me! I thought she knew I was the best for her, I made sure that she knew! Who could possibly know her better?! What does she take me for?! I just couldn't leave her, I can't. I mean I did but I've been spying on her everyday (a lot more than I was before) when Ill noticed she was talking to a guy "friend" very often.

She was supposed to be hanging out with that same "friend" today at the friends house. I swear if I see anything sexual I won't be sneaking anymore, I'll just slit the guys throat. When they finally got there my love said she had a gift for them. I considered killing them and maybe just kidnapping my dear. I slowly pulled out my knife and gripped the end tight. I needed to cut something but I couldn't afford to hurt myself right now I need to cuts and bruises on my arms just in case I need to break in.

After a few hours I started getting bored if I didn't hear the conversation through the window I would've fell asleep. Then Y/N pulled out a pink mini bag. Her friend smiled and laughed nervously then he pulled out a pregnancy test. I dropped my knife and my jaw. What the hell just happened? He jumped for joy while hugging her and touching her stomach. I could feel like i wanted to throw up.

I picked up my knife a held it for comfort, my knives never hurt me at least not mentally they always helped me they'll surely help me take care of her "friend". How dare she!? She didn't just forget about me, she's just trying to make me jealous, definitely, totally, 100%. After him fangirling over her and the baby (Which I should be doing) for a another hour she gets ready to leave I'm tired but fueled by rage and maybe a little jealous. She walks down a block before I pull her into the back of a alleyway. She muffled into my hands that were suppressing her yell she tried to hit me but he being in front of me and holding her tightly just the way it should be her attempts were failing.

"Who was that guy you were hanging out with? You gonna introduce me, doll?" I guess she freaked out just a little bit when she heard the nickname she tried to run and kick. I was already tired and upset I felt like throwing her into the back of a truck. I pushed her against the wall "Look. You're going to leave them or keep hanging out with them and sleeping with them and I kill them and get someone to kill them for me." (I smiled just thinking of the idea she tried backing up but unfortunately for her, she can't go through walls.)

"I'm not sleeping with them even if I was it's none of your business." (She was always stubborn...) "Well I used to be your boyfriend so it is." "Yeah keyword, USED to. You're my ex now." She said more quiet she could barley hold eye contact with me. "You can barely even look at me. You're guilt of something, aren't ya?" "No-get away from me fucking prick!" She pushed me off her and jogged off. (She can get away for now...I'll get her next time, and I'll make SURE that baby is mine.) It comforted my mind that running back to her was now not a moment of weakness (I can say that I only care for the baby but for how long can I keep up that lie for?)

After a few days I watched her and made sure she went home safely. It was late and dark (I don't need a plastic test to tell me it's mine I don't care. I cancjust hope the baby's different colored hair does make me kill them both! it's gonna be just like me murder, handsome lil baby boy and green hair it's gonna be great!) After imagining my life with my baby and my baby I started trying to sneak in through the window it was locked usually shed leave it cracked to "let air in" is what excuse she'd give me when we were together. When I finally picked the lock I saw my darling, laying on the bed sleeping with her hand over her waist hanging of the bed.

The light was dimmed and blown out candles on the nightstand. Next to the nightstand was a trash bin with 3 positive pregnancy test. My heart felt like it was about to burst (she's so cute). I took a few pictures of my darling closed and locked the window and got back into bed with my love. I held her hand and fell asleep comfortably despite her hair being so close to my face. She'd usually were her bonnet but she's forgetful and now pregnant I'll cut her some slack.

(In the morning I'll buy some stuff for her and the baby as a little...baby shower gift).

#yandere #villain deku #Yandere Izuku #yandere izuku x reader #yandere izuku midoriya #mha #my hero academia #yandere deku

[yoonyia]

dying because I thought about miro Jane for 2 seconds and it's so upsetting

it's also very much what orson scott would do and i don't know how to feel about that

like that was my goal

buttttt

Jane is dying because Jane Val can't really hold Jane together that well, Jane is too much that it kinda exhausts the connections pretty quickly, unexpected thing that happens is one of Jane and Miros sons are also dying, and Jane had a strong enough philtonic connection with her kid to become her kid

miro dosent want that because how can I love my child when he now contains the person I called my wife, how can I love you or him the same way, I will lose both of you and have to deal with a stranger that reminds me of all the people I lost, all that could have, should have, been

don't you see what you're doing to me Jane, don't leave me I need you, you can't leave me so soon

and Jane being Jane is like

love me anyways, I'm sorry I only know one love, I dont know the difference between wife and child but I will love you in whatever life I am, ill still be me and I'll be our son too, love me as your wife if you must, love me as your child if you can, or simply just love me if I'm a stranger

I'm sorry I have to leave you, but I cannot give up the human life just for you miro

you mean so much to me but my life means a lot too, I won't leave you miro I love you but let me live on. If not for me then for the sake of faster then light speed travel, or think of it as repayment for giving you back your body, anything to make this ok.

Then miro being miro will be like

Nothing jane, nothing will make this ok, i will look for you everyday, i will hate my child, I will curse him for stealing you away from me and I will destroy myself without you, then i would drive myself insane for hurting you, dont leave me, dont leave me and then start begging at the feet of her bed

then jane will say some sappy stuff she saw online like Good bye my husband, I will love you once more and forever. and then die and then their son would wake up from a coma in perfect health and his 2 older siblings would rejoice and then miro would see Jane die and cry the most depressing cry you've ever heard then proceed to become abusive and hateful and self destructive (like mother like son i guess) and Jane son (I don't have a name for miroane children yet sorry) would just watch being really sad and act sometimes like a child and sometimes like Jane and most people would be like "oh he's so much like his mom" and miro would be absolutely livid

I dont know man thoughts

also ignore the bad writing I genuinely do not have the mental capabilities to make it good right now (or ever, really)

also more about Jack the fish

he can't die

well he can but it's the "dosent die unless killed" thing

so he's just kinda chilling seeing everyone go through horrible horrible situations (he also speaks for Peter 2s and si wang mus death if that means anything)

there's this story idea I had of a world 2000 years FURTHER into the future of Jack chilling on this almost eternally autumn planet and then meeting one of Jane's or enders or even beans descendants and then taking her on a joy ride across colonies then trapping her on an ocean planet (his home planet) because he just kinda forgot about her

he didn't mean to trap her he just forgot and ruined this poor girls life

I'm thinking of there being an ending of all the fishes slowly dying out on his home planet and Jack just getting the whole of the fish aiua in his body alone making him have a full consciousness and not like, 1/324th of one. and that whole aiua being shoved into this one human body messes with him and sends him into either insanity or really really bad depression. And he's less "oh yea this is how humans are supposed to act, mhm yes definitely" (proceeds to be a pretty convincing human) and more "yea I'm a bunch of fish in a human fleshcoat and I have to deal with that, yea I'm weird I can't really do anything about it sorry"

so he chases down jane (who's currently now some Latino lady in her late 30s) and talks to her and makes her upset because he's being a real big bummer right now, like dude you ok

and then he goes to the lustainia and sees the piggies and the hivequeen and they talk about him technically being an alien just like them and that he should get a book too and it's upsetting that ender is dead and isn't there to write it

then he says something like "well jane didn't a book either, you 2 were lucky" and they just all kinda sit together in the now more genetically diverse lustania and then he gets a call from the kid and she's not a kid anymore she's like 70+ and dying and she just wants to leave for gods sake so he brings her to lustaina while she's dying and let's her die in his arms or something and he lies there next to what used to be where rooter was, and just quietly sing or hum or something and all the aliens that exist (cause jane is in the trees remember) all sing a chorus and it kinda ends there

I dont know what to do with the ending it's just kinda there

I dont mind it that much but I will probably change it

enderverse brainrot is real and its not fun

also what are your thoughts about bean body dysmorphia

also also I really wanna talk about Achilles but the other one

what is his name? Arkansas?

THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WROTE BUT THATS HILARIOUS

anyways I love him, I remember I loved him

need more that dude

anyways gonna draw for Palestine now good bye

#enders game #ender’s game

[darknight3904]

Sober - Eddie Munson

Chapter 5 - Rebound

Masterlist

You might ask why is there a gif of Steve in this chapter and not our beloved Eddie? Well the answer dear readers is because Steve finally makes his debut in the story!!

"Y'know I just do not understand why you don't just get on the damn phone and yell at him to get his ass back to Hawkins." Marguerite sighed sipping at her lemonade

"Johnathan is different. And I don't want to upset him by doing that. Besides there's always Spring break." Nancy said

"You're so nonconfrontational it makes me physically ill." Marguerite groaned

"Who's nonconfrontational?" A voice asked

Fred Benson welcomed himself to the table by loudly setting his tray down. A year ago, Marguerite didn't even know who Fred was but now she found him sitting next to her every day at lunch. He was an interesting boy a little jumpy though. Billy would've made fun of her for even looking at a boy like Fred Benson. Marguerite wondered what Billy would've said about her sitting and talking with him everyday.

"Nancy says Johnathan isn't coming to Hawkins during winter break." She explained

"Oh. Well that's alright I guess." Fred shrugged

"Y'know you're really clueless about relationships Fredward." Marguerite smiled

"I am not. I'm sure Nancy's Johnathan issues will be fine." He said straightening his glasses

"Whatever. I'm gonna run to the bathroom quickly." She excused herself.

Marguerite spent the rest of the day hiding red eyes from her teachers and dozing while they talked about whatever they seemed important. Immediately after school she found Robin and followed her to Steve's car.

"Those eyes look pretty red, Marguerite..." Robin said

"It's not even that bad." Marguerite dismissed

"Really let's see what Steve has to say?" Robin bargained

They reached the car and found Max already sitting in the backseat, headphones on with music playing.

"Jesus you look like shit, Marguerite." Steve said

"You can't just say that to pretty girls, Steve." Marguerite said as she slipped into the passenger seat.

"Who said I was talking to a pretty girl?" Steve teased

"You. You said it like...a million times when you were mine. Like that one time after we-"

"Okay that's enough about what you and Steve have done!" Robin cut her off

"I was just gonna say after we watched Terminator!" Marguerite exclaimed

Robin shook her head as Steve pulled out of the parking lot ignoring the way her friend was giggling in the front seat.

"You and I both know that's not what you were gonna say." Steve shook his head

°°°

"So you hung out with Eddie Munson last night and then fell asleep in his room?!" Robin practically screamed

"Yeah...it's really no big deal. Nothing happened I did find out he used to have his head shaved though." Marguerite replied

"Uh it is a big deal. You can't use Munson as your rebound from me. That's a huge step down." Steve pointed out

"Steve stop pretending you're some untouchable God." Robin groaned

"Yeah you literally are best friends with a 15 year old." Marguerite laughed

"You like Henderson just as much as I do." Steve shook his head

"Yeah but you're like some dad figure to him little Stevie." Robin said

"Mmm I was thinking more like mom figure." Marguerite interjected.

"I'm not a mom figure to Henderson." Steve said

"You literally drove him to that middle school dance. Plus you literally gave him girl and hair advice." Marguerite pointed out

She had been walking with them along those train tracks while they looked for Dart. Steve had admitted to his hair secrets being sponsored by Farrah Fawcett herself. And then she had to listen to Steve talk about lions and agression.

"Whatever, Marguerite." Steve said turning away from the girls and continuing to stack VHS tapes.

Family Video was quiet on a Thursday afternoon. Business didn't really ramp up until the weekend began and everyone had time to screw around. Marguerite didn't actually work at the movie rental place, she hadn't had a job since Starcourt had closed. Instead she just hung with Steve and Robin as they organized tapes and avoided Keith and his strange attempts to ask her out.

"What if we just caught a movie this Friday?" Keith asked munching on those cheese curls

"Nope. I got plans." Marguerite said not looking up from her book

"Plans? Plans with who?" Steve asked

"None of your business Steve." Marguerite sighed

"Betcha its with Eddie!" Robin yelled from the back of the store

"It is not with Eddie." Marguerite glared

--

No Eddie in this chapter sorry everyone :( but on the Bright side he will be back next chapter. I hope you are enjoying so far.

#eddie #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #maxmayfield #fanfic #stranger things #steve harrington #strangerthings x reader #actors #robin buckley #dustin henderson

[lunarsilkscreen]

TW: Anxiety and Depression

People in *situations* like to talk about "of course you're anxious" or "of course you're depressed". The system keeping you down, worried about tomorrow, discrimination, student loans you'll never pay off, worried about what your kid is going to eat tomorrow. Worried about the Hamas in the Gaza strip doing another 9/11. You know, the usual.

There's even an industry built around tackling those feelings caused by external factors. Life isn't a great feeling when you have no choice but to gamble. Or when it constantly feels like you're under attack for no reason but trying to get home.

It's why people look at these things like a disease of affluence. But I'm telling you; poor people experience these things too.

Those external factors, pundents constantly claim, once you have a steady income stream, shelter, one single album by Jimi Hendrix, and the feelings go away.

And then other pundents claim that after 72k$ income they come back because you've constantly got rich people problems.

Those are not Anxiety and Depression.

Scientific studies show that being in situations for extended periods of time (approx 6 months) can cause *those* symptoms to become *permanent* that, is one form of anxiety or depression.

I say them like this: "anxiety and depression" because "mental illness" sounds like you just got put in Arkham by Batman. Like it's this thing only supervillains have. Like they'd be fine if they just stopped stealing expensive art from rich people.

The baseline for Anxiety and Depression and other mental irregularities like PTSD, puts you into a permanent state of a doctor would say "arousal" but that sounds like you just took too many Viagra. A scientist might say "to excitation" but that sounds like the same thing.

Anxiety is a low grade fear, constantly in the background, even when you've got nothing going on, no bills. After being put into a situation, those background levels skyrocket, and you never can recover in order to really get out of that situation.

So you just kinda get stuck tuning it out, and trying to keep on.

Depression is this low grade sadness, like. Imagine somebody just laying into you everyday, but they're not funny about it, nobody is having fun, they're doing it to keep you down. And everybody else just says "well you deserve it."

Except, unlike Trump, there's nobody there doing that. But you feel like somebody is.

Personally, I can get through a lot when people aren't messing with me. But when they start playing around, it becomes difficult to do basic tasks. I'm talking about basic things like getting out of bed to go pee. On a day where you have nothing going on, no reason to not want to chill and play video games, or even just scroll on your phone while eating cereal.

Just, don't even want to do things on your relaxing day off to relax.

And that's why this ignorance of what anxiety and depression really is, is dangerous.

Like, "man, if you just ate a snickers, you won't have those shellshock flashbacks anymore."

Imagine, being so depressed that you don't even want to get high.

Now imagine being so anxious you can't take your pills that'll help you go-to work everyday. That's not a good example.

Imagine you have a job you enjoy, and are excited everyday to go-to work and get paid. But you had a situation that lasted 6-18months, like hospital bills, or legal issues. Or somebody stole your car or something.

And you realize; there's no reason to be happy anymore. So you just kind of give up. Because why do anything, even if you particularly enjoy it if that serotonin hit just isn't a thing anymore.

*oh my TikTok went viral. Guess it's time to never do tiktoks again*

It's hard to explain to people, because most people have their own issues like "ye. Life is SAD AND SCARY. AND WE ALL JUST DEAL WITH IT."

"Well I was also dealing with it, until this thing made it impossible to deal with it anymore."

It *sounds* like burnout too, because it's a similar thing. But you can recover from burnout with a long enough vacation. (If you can afford a vacation.)

"The hardest part about going to work, is going to work, and then after you get started it's fine."

Ok, now imagine after that, and your morning coffee, and you're just mentally checked out all day everyday. Sure you get work done, and the pay means you don't starve or end up homeless.

But you're never actually there. Not like *watching cat videos in the bathroom* not there, or *constantly imagining yourself at the bahamas, working on your vision board* not there.

Just. Not. There. The lights are on, but nobody is home.

Physically you're there, but you're like a robot that's had all its dreams about the future sucked out.

You can't dream you can't think, you can't get aroused or excited. (I mean, sure you jerk off at home, but that's not what I meant).

I'd say Sui* Ideation, but that isn't even on the table. It is when you take the advice of the gurus who say "just learn to get passed fear". Because that's what happens when you're in a constant state of depression and no longer fear the one thing keeping you on the planet.

And all it takes is six months, unless you're not a betac*, then it could be years. But you still end up in the same place.

[all-mimsy]

SHIVERS

A Disco Elysium fanmix.

You shiver, and the city shivers with you.

Lilly Wood & the Prick — Prayer in C (Robin Schulz Remix)

Hey, when seas will cover lands / And when men will be no more / Don't think you can forgive you / Yeah, when there'll just be silence / And when life will be over / Don't think you will forgive you

Faded Paper Figures — Not the End of the World (Not Even As We Know It)

Good gods abandoning you / Like a pain that fades when it's no longer in your way / No collective dreams to guide you / Have another drink, I think you'll be here everyday

The Original Crooks and Nannies — Perpetual Mild Illness

I know I've got lungs / 'Cause they ache a bit / I know I'm meant to be an artist / 'Cause I feel like shit / All the time

Panic! at the Disco — Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time

Bar to bar at the speed of sound / Fancy feet dancing through this town / Lost my mind in a wedding gown / Don't think I'll ever get it now (don't think I'll ever get it now)

St. Vincent — The Apocalypse Song

You'll wake / With the stitches / Over both your eyes / And deny me my body / And all earthly delights / It's time / You are a light / I guess you are afraid of / What everyone is made of

Pat the Bunny — I’m Not A Good Person

I'm not a good person / I'm sure you're not surprised / It must be pouring out my sweat glands / It must be someplace in my eyes

Mother Mother — Body

And take my hands, they'll understand / Take my heart, pull it apart / And take my brain, or what remains / And throw it all away / 'Cause I've grown tired of this body / A cumbersome and heavy body

Rilo Kiley — The Execution of All Things

And lastly, you're all alone with nothing left but sleep / But sleep never comes to you / It's the guilt and forever wakefulness of the weak / It's just you and me

Bastille — These Streets

These streets are yours, you can keep them / I don't want them / They pull me back, and I surrender / To the memories I run from / Oh, we have paved these streets / With moments of defeat / But even if we won't admit it to ourselves / We'll walk upon these streets and think of little else / So I won't show my face here anymore

Seeming — End Studies

I'm the final fading echo of the final sounding note / Of the symphony that killed the symphony / I will be sealing up the trench where every shipwreck goes to sink / Yes, I was born to make my kind extinct

Miracle of Sound — Liquid Nights and Disco Lights

And I'm whirling through the half light / Shivers down my spine / Don't know what I'm becoming / But I know I'll make it mine

Fault Lines — Just Like My Heart

When I was young / My lungs were strong / Now they've grown weak and to breathe and you've smoked too long / Now I've grown old / And I know the truth / Of the life lived, the lover's sizzle, I've lived for you

Broken Bells — The Ghost Inside

I'm carving a moat through the dust in your town / Crawling over rubble / Just to serve you / Tend to wonder why

Bastille — Laura Palmer

The night was all you had / You ran into the night from all you had / Found yourself a path upon the ground / You ran into the night, you can't be found / But, this is your heart / Can you feel it? Can you feel it? / Pumps through your veins / Can you feel it? Can you feel it?

Fish in a Bird Cage — Rule #21 - Momento Mori

My brain was cynical / Inside this massive hole / And then it swallowed me / I never wanted to sleep / My suit stayed the same / Can't remember my own name / Inside a timeless cage / I never wanted to sleep

Lokki — High

Life was a never ending dream / Smiles weren’t always what they seemed / The warm winds they came but drew shivers from me / ‘Cause I always knew

Sea Power — The Smallest Church in Sussex

I would ofter stay there / In there tiny yard there / I have been so glad here / Looking forward to the past here

Shiny Toy Guns — Ghost Town

Everyone living in ghost town / Everyone buried in waste land / We don't want to / We don't have to be like that / Living in ghost town / All the boys shout it out loud now / All the girls scream it out louder / We don't want to / We don't have to live like that

The Orion Experience — Children of the Stars

You are not alone, my child / So don’t give up the fight / We can shake the World awake / And break that spell tonight / Children of the Stars unite / Don’t you be afraid to share your light / Together we can burn so bright / That we’ll chase the shadow from the World / Children of the Stars, be brave / Never let them doubt your heart, or how it’s made / Just let your love go Super Nova

The Mountain Goats — Spent Gladiator 2

Like the clock that ticks in Dresden / When the whole town's been destroyed / Like the nagging flash of insight / You're always desperate to avoid / Like the bloody-knuckled gunman / Still stationed at the breach / Like that board game with the sliders / And the children on the beach / Stay alive / Maybe spit some blood at the camera / Just stay alive / Stay forever alive

Lizzo (covering the Bee Gees) — Stayin’ Alive

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother / You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive / Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin' / It was stayin' alive, stayin' alive

YOU ARE AN OFFICER OF THE CITIZENS MILITIA. YOU MOVE THROUGH MY STREETS FREELY IN MOTOR CARRIAGES AND ON FOOT. YOU HAVE ACCESS TO THE HIDDEN PLACES. YOU ALSO CIRCULATE AMONG THOSE WHO ARE HIDDEN. I NEED YOU. YOU CAN KEEP ME ON THIS EARTH. BE VIGILANT. I LOVE YOU.

#disco elysium #fanmix

[swirling-through-the-stars]

i think this blog is going to be my journal. i need to get the mess in my head written down somehow. i guess my biggest complaint right now is that i can't get my brain to agree with itself. i'm at the perfect place in life. i've pretty much done everything right my entire childhood to set myself up for adult life. now here i am. about to graduate college with a good job lined up. i've been receiving more intensive treatment for my mental health issues and you'd think it would help and it does but i can't get myself to take my fucking meds. i don't know why. i know they help me. it's like i know all the things i need to do to get better, i know i'm capable of doing them. i know that achieving good mental health is within my capabilities. i just can't get myself to do the things i need to do to get there. i still spend days laying in bed half asleep in some sort of fog, unable to get myself up. or even reach behind me and swallow a few pills that i know will probably give me enough of a boost to have a decent day. i have hope that someday everyday wont be a miserable struggle, but i feel like i should be able to go a week without putting my job or education at risk for no apparent reason.

this is all over the place and completely unorganized but so is my brain. in a dream last night i was crying to my dad telling him i didn't want to be alive anymore. i'm not suicidal, but i haven't been able to stop thinking about that terrifying dream. i'm probably not helping with being unable to leave my room for longer than 10 minutes. i tried to get myself into a routine of going outside first thing in the morning, but that fell through by day two. what is wrong. with me? why cant i get myself to care about myself? everyone else does. why can't i? why am i the only fucking person in my life that is actively hindering my success? why am i not being supportive of myself? why can't i just fukcing stand up? i shouldn't have any stress right now. all of my stress is manufactured and contrived. it's entirely unnecessary.

i am the cause and the solution of my own mental illness, i just don't know how to get myself to understand that and start taking action. i don't want to be miserable. but i can't stop. i built this cell, locked myself in, and threw away the key. every time i finally break out, i wake up three days later in the cell. how did i get here? how do i keep ending up back here?

[the-firebird69]

And yeah you look exactly like him and we mean the character in the movie and the governor newsom. It makes sense people think that you have some ships here or offshore that are Tommy F or other so everybody's going after you right now you should have shut up you're a pig you're an a****** you're a loser you're a moron all that stuff over and over is not working you up at all now you're sick we're finding out and you can't stop and we have to stop you because you're a huge a****** and loser and you won't let go of him and you're all over him and every time you do something you get nailed lose all your stuff is not enough we see all these businesses and they're going away and we need them in your huge prick and a loser I can see all that everyday you don't understand what I'm saying why is that

John Gallagher

I understand what you're saying and I see your cues and when I say is I don't understand why I'm acting this way have a plan to be a dick and he says so what every kid from the streets of Calcutta has one your job is to stop them not to become them so you'd be a big loser like you are and he says that and I still don't understand it

Donald Trump

You're supposed to be a sharp guy and a whiz and we point out that you died and you got shot and you think you're invincible or something and you're mentally ill

John Gallagher

What are you trying to say is I should slow down try to heal myself so I can think about what I'm doing wrong and I don't think I can I don't have enough time to and all that good stuff that people say when they're sick someone has to help me and I can't do it myself

Donald Trump

I suppose we're responsible because it doesn't have any reason to give anybody anything when he's not sick he's very sick and it's dangerous and it's worse and we don't know what to do we can't live with him he doesn't let anyone have anything he's a massive prick to our friend and you should have some of the stuff and turns out that you're working for the empire and I can't stand you but then again and he wanted him to explain he he understood right away and he explained it and is looking at he says I get it now and it made a lot of sense the money went away and it's come back and they're going to use it now so I look at you and I said did you research that at all because you won't let us do anything and then he says I'm in the way and he said you're a liar and I know what I'm doing so it's true too he's a real fathead he's stubborn and stupid and he's going to die

Sarah

You know your name stupid argument is getting you hit you're arguing with her whether she's guilty of your crimes and stuff like that everybody knows what you did you're you're a steam bag of s*** Trump

Zues Hera

I have to tell you something it's going like this I have an argument yeah I'm trying to shake it off but it really people say it's ridiculous I'm actually in trouble and I keep doing stuff people but you're saying is you should not nuke New York City it's an inane thing to do people in people in that City are killers with and Itheyll Tommy f it cuz they want to kill him too. That was starting to see something if they want to get us by doing that why don't they just do it I'm trying to follow something else everybody up there is pissed off at me and including my people and I have to go up there and you keep saying you have to take a week or two and heal are you going to be this more on that you hear before you and it happens all the time people get sick so I guess I should probably go try and heal somewhere but I don't know I see how that goes

Trump

You should be stuck to me you're never going to heal you get sick all the time you get hit all the time and there's your son does too

Zues Hera

We're going to call to order now and was sitting in troops and specialists to handle the situation these idiots think he's being nice because he's saying for them to go away I have to tell you something they're very sick and it's true we're going to take action momentarily

Olympus

We are too I can't stand their battle this is insane letting it happen other people forcing to happen with it's really just beyond anything that I can imagine of being stupid it's really beyond stupid you you boys if you are doing this you're really really wrong

Mac

[dearme7]

What does depression do?How does it make you feel?What it does?

It comes sometimes without warning! ⚠️ You feel like a light on a candle just waiting for it to happen to you to come and just burn your light out, and you feel nothing but the pain when it struck you, and your like what just happened why do I feel so Terrible all of a sudden, and everything was just fine a few minutes ago. Your mind is shattered into peices and you feel like your scrabbling just to pick them all up, your body is psychically drained of no energy and you can't explain why you think I must have too much caffeine or the kids worn me out today, nope your wrong it's something else you can't put your finger on or wrap your head around it and things just fall from there things only get worse, everything you do seems like you can't take it no more it's unbarable now, even the smallest task isn't easy to do anymore and it's getting to you the toll of it, the depression makes me feel jumpy or exhausted it makes me isolate from everyone you know shut up and shut out and I don't like it, it's like it is taking a part of myself away trying to make me become quiet and just go into the dark and not come out of it and that can be a dangerous place to be honest because at this point your fighting to survive just to get through the day! Sometimes, my depression is a dull-witted sloth, batting at me with sloppy arms as I go about my business. Occasionally, my depression is a roaring monster, shredding me from the inside out, while I fight back with every ounce of my strength, at the same time still I try to smile and be there for the children and my husband and my friends church God ECT it's a never ending force of darkness that I'm trying to find the Light through, because I know each dawn when I face my demons no matter the prescriptions or therapy will never ultimately be sufficient, that I will always, fundamentally, fight this battle on my own.

What does Anxiety do?How does it make you feel? What it does?

You start to second guess every thought and your actions wondering if your doing things the right way and you begin to judge yourself and how you act and you use words to excuse yourself like I am tired, I don't want to go out today maybe next time, or maybe if they found someone better than me they'd be happier, or I can never be good enough for myself or to anyone, what am I still doing here? Your failure nothing you do or say can make a difference now or change who you are, you're a disappointment to everyone you can't do anything right anymore, nobody cares about you your so selfish why can't you just focus on your responsibilities and not your own well-being and forget all about what's going on, just sit down and shut up because nobody wants to hear you speak, ECT and then you just become less and less of yourself you forget who you are and you act like a Robot so that instead of living you just exist your just there to make everyone happy and over time you put on this mask and when you are completely alone you cry your eyes out, and your still screaming on the inside for someone to say I see you I actually see you, you don't have to hide it run from it fake it or be ashamed anymore I know exactly how you feel you just want somebody to listen somebody to care about you, your tired of feeling invisible your tired of the motions because believe me it's hard to even smile anymore it's hard to admit things are not okay when they aren't this is the ugly truth this is the real deal this is the open and honesty about mental health issues and illness nobody wants to talk about but I'm here I have it I'm going through it this is my secret this is my battle everyday this is who I am and if nobody can accept me if nobody wants that if nobody can handle it then that's okay I'll be there for those who don't have a voice I'll be there for those who feel alone I'll be there for those that didn't make it that suffered long enough because nobody opened their eyes and really saw you or me nobody really asked questions How are you really? Like be honest with yourself are you okay today?

To those who are fighting this everyday!

Love DearMe ❤️

#depression and anxiety #inspiration

[morosepresence]

March 28, 2023 5:11 pm

This past year I've tried really hard to accept that I need to make things happen for myself. Sitting in my house and witnessing time ticking by can only be so healthy. However, I didn't realize how hard it would be to break years upon years of bad habits.

I've always known that time heals all wounds but right now it doesn't seem like it. It seems to me that when I feel bad about something, I never truly seem to forget or move on. It just lingers there for a minute, then goes away with time, and now it's back again. I try to find the foundation of the problem but I struggle everyday. To understand why I hate myself so much. Why I feel that everyone else is deserving of a beautiful life but not me. I'm finally asking "why me?" when I've always thought that only cowards did. I need to learn why because I'm sick and tired of feeling lost everyday.

Growing up, I didn't have much of an identity. I didn't have an interest that made me feel like me. I did find video games, but it was an excuse to not battle the demons outside. I don't know what I would of expected if I did find my niche, but I just feel like I've done nothing. And other people seem to believe that too. Don't get me wrong, I've lived a beautiful life. I'm loved by my family and friends, I've traveled the world, gotten the best education, and had the luxury to live my life the way I've wanted to. But it's somehow not enough. Everyday I have woken up feeling like I'm missing something, I'm just never satisfied. I've been slowly realizing why and I think I've found it? Not sure

I feel like nothing. Physically and mentally, nothing. It sounds redundant but it's true; I just feel like a dead end in everything. With everyone I know and everything I do, nothing. I feel like I've lived through other people my whole life. The funny part is, no one has told me explicitly what to do. I just have no idea what to do. I don't know what I want or who I want. I have doubts about every little thing I touch. One bad word towards me even when the intent is positive hurts more than anything. I care so much about what other people think to a pathological degree. I've always been seeking everyone's approval and acceptance that I don't think positively about myself, and I've realized that I've never been comfortable in my own skin. I've put on this front my entire life; that I'm confident and I'm always right and that I don't care what people think of me but I wear a mask because I'm able to romanticize the life I really want. How I actually want to feel.

I also hate my body and I feel so lonely within that mindset. I know other people have body image issues and low self esteem but I don't think anyone does like me. I'm addicted to food. I love eating because it's the only thing that I know will be good. Food is good. It's delicious and I eat too much of it. I was told today by a family member that they want to set me up with this boy in the summer and that it's going to be so exciting for me. But before that, I have to look amazing so let's sign up for workout classes!

Don't get me wrong, I want to loose weight and sign up for workout classes. But I can't look amazing without being skinny? Will I just never reach my maximum potential/beauty because of my weight?How do I date or meet people when I do get skinny? Would they have loved me when I weighed this much? Will people take me seriously when I don't weigh as much? How is this all supposed to make me feel? Inspired? Motivated?

Guess what? I don't. One little fucking comment is sending me over the edge. And you know what's funny? It wasn't even meant with ill intentions, just the delivery was off. I can't stand shit like that. Worry about your own body and not mine. You're projecting your insecurities onto me because you want to break the cycle with me and you don't want me to be like you, I get it. Trust me, I do. But why does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel like the ugliest person that walked onto this earth? Why has my confidence squashed overtime?

Because I don't know my worth. Or what I deserve. I was never taught to have confidence like this because truth be told, no one around me has it. That's what I think anyway. I don't expect perfection but I hate being a people pleaser when I can't even please myself. I hate loving when I don't love myself and I hate helping when I don't help myself. I'm so exhausted.

I want to work on myself so bad but I just can't do it. I just can't put everything into anything and I feel so stupid. So whoever is reading this, learn from me and accept that you are enough and that you are worth saving. Even though I know that deep down I still can do it. I will with time but I can't today. Also, I know I will be more confident when I weigh less and experiment with different styles and I do believe I will reach my maximum potential when I am physically the healthiest. But in order to start that journey I truly believe that you have to love yourself just enough to do what the old you couldn't. So don't make sensitive comments like that because even when the intent is good it can come out terribly. I will follow suit and make sure I don't do the same. Life is too short to risk being an asshole and ruining someones day.

[colour-film-queer]

yeah don't read this one

#prsnl #bad night #i hope that isn't like an actual tag lol. sorry if you stumble on my public breakdown/trauma posting #i just don't care anymore #i mean i care a lot about a lot of things but also. i just feel burnt out. shut down. fucking dead. #the thing is i could try to explain or excuse a lot of things but at the end of the day. i just feel upset all the time #i feel like it doesn't matter what i do i carry this tension around my ribs and i just. can't catch my breath #i just want someone to understand #i can feel it right now. it's a bunch of things. a pit in my stomach. pressure in my eyes. restless feet. taught spine. #it's worse when im not high. im so tired of the nausea. at this point i don't know what it's tied to #covid? trauma? sickness? disease? allergies? substance abuse? disordered eating? anxiety? #where do i fucking start?? lol #sorry! it's just sometimes i forget how badly i've been gaslit that i don't know when things are real problems #i'm an attention seeking hypochondriac that was both raised that way and abused for it so yknow #also being literally surrounded by triggers probably isn't good #i just don't know what to do with myself lol. #i want to get away but i can't so everyday is just like guess ill die but i can't do that either so im just stuck and it fucking. sucks. #also im an alcoholic drug addict so i may have just melted a hole in my gut. At Least combined with the stress lol #i'm an unfortunate amalgamation of poor decisions tonight but you know what i haven't actually hurt myself yet so i consider it a win #sorry if that got real. ironically i still never said what i wanted to. i don't know why #im losing myself. lol. #was never anything except something to be torn apart and passed out and held to the tongues of the formerly holy #i wonder what he would say if i asked him if he believes in god #i know i'm falling too fast but i don't care falling is better than standing fucking still anything is better than that #also i'm fucking lonely. shockingly. not to mention again attention seeking and desperate to please. #anyway. i don't feel better. actually i think i feel worse. but i'm too tired to keep going lol. #if anyone read this; i respect your penchant for rule breaking also i'm sorry please go treat yourself to ice cream or something #despite all the dark things i'm safe i'm okay and #you deserve ice cream #okay. i feel a little better. thank you?

[sohcah-toa]

hii i just got the evilest idea rn for an angst fic, and it's basically itto watching reader leave with kazuha after the vision hunt decree was lifted and its just itto slowly reliving every moment with the reader where he loved them too much causing the reader to get scared and run away because they cant handle being loved mwahahaha ( this isnt me projecting i swear)

stop everything! ive been wanting to make something itto related + something angst and here it is!! thank u for this!

cw: angst, fluff (from the past), possible spoilers (ig?) bcz of vision hunt decree, i'll try to not spoil as much as i can lmao, ill just focus on itto

ft. arataki itto, kaedehara kazuha, gorou, kids (lmao)

Goodbye | toa

"D-Don't—" Itto stuttered, preventing himself from crying because Kazuha was there, he whispered "Don't go"

"I guess... this really is goodbye" You were about to board on Beidou's ship with Kazuha, talking to Itto before going in. He just ran there, he had no idea you were leaving.

You clench your teeth, you have to be strong. This is your decision but it was fairly a hard one. You close your eyes, letting the tears go back where it came from. You open them again and smiled "Itto, come on. You were the one who—"

It was so hard seeing him like this. He's trying his best not to cry. For others he looked normal, but knowing him, you were sure that he's been crying for weeks; same as you. Kazuha grabbed your shoulders, rubbing it as if to comfort you.

"Don't" Itto whispered, averting his gaze. You and Itto went on your separate ways after the vision hunt decree was over. It was mutual but the both of you felt so devastated that it ruined you. You had a really good time with him but you can't stay with him; it was just too much.

Itto let you go because he thought that you would still stay at Inazuma, he thought he would still see you even if you're with other people. To him, just seeing you was enough, but now that you're leaving Inazuma, he feels indifferent. He regrets what he has done. He wants to hold you tight in his arms but he knows he can't; not anymore.

"Goodbye, Itto"

—

Itto bursts his eyes open "Not again" he covered his face with both hands, wiping the tears away "I keep having the same goddamn dream everyday"

He laid on his bed again. It's been a year since you left and he hasn't moved on yet. Itto misses you everyday, he still has your picture in a frame beside his bed. He doesn't plan on moving on because he knows he can't.

Itto stares outside, seeing the trees bloom "You always did love trees"

—

"Look!" You held a leaf that fell from your hand with a huge smile on your face "Leaf from Inazuma, gotta keep this"

It was your first time in Inazuma and Itto volunteered as your guide because you intrigued him. He laughed as you put the leaf in your pocket.

—

"Stop" Itto shook his head, slapped his face and stood up "Keep your shit together, the kids and the others are waiting for you" he quickly fixed himself up, brushed his hair and everything

;

"Itto!" The kids ran to Itto, hugging him "The girl still isn't here! You lied, we have been waiting for forever now"

;

Itto chuckled nervously. The kids have been looking for you because you used to go with Itto whenever he meets with the kids "I told you guys, she's not coming back — for a while!" Itto tries to comfort the kids with lies. He, too, felt like he was waiting for forever now, believing that you're coming back to him someday.

Itto went to that one place he always goes before walking over to the camp.

He sighed as he walks towards the camp, the worst place to be. Everything there reminds him of you, every small little thing.

—

"Hey, Itto, spar with me" You challenged him, you were pretty confident holding your sword, Itto just laughed loudly

He stroked his hair on the side "You think you can beat me?"

—

Itto shook his head and groaned loudly, realizing that he was thinking about you again "Come on, Itto" he whispered to himself, walking towards Gorou

"Itto!" Gorou greeted him with a smile "How are you today? What brings you here?"

Itto had just realized that he came there out of habit because he used to train with you "U-uh just here to ask you if you need any help"

"The vision hunt decree is over but our men are still training, especially with the Fatui lurking. We do need help transporting materials" Gorou thought about ways to help Itto, he knew he was having a hard time moving on since Itto has been coming there every week for no reason at all "Let's help transporting the materials then"

"T-thanks" Itto scratched the back of his head, feeling quite embarrassed. You and Itto used to train the men so they greeted Itto with glee.

"Sir! Goodmorning!"

"Nice day sir! Where's y/n?"

"Yeah, we haven't seen y/n for a while now"

Gorou has been signaling them behind Itto to keep their mouths shut. No one in there knew that you have left for such selfish reasons, only Beidou, Kazuha, Gorou, Kokomi and Itto. Eventually Gorou sighed thinking that his men were oblivious.

"Oh" Itto frowned without realized "Well, uhm" unable to conjure up any excuses so Gorou interfered

"We'll go now" Gorou said, "Focus on your training!"

—

"Itto, don't be so hard on them" You and Itto have been talking about your techniques on how to train your group "They're just humans"

Itto watched you as you lecture him, he's not mad, he's not even listening. He's just staring at you. He was aware by this time that he likes you. He thought about all the times he acted dumb whenever you're around. He wasn't like that at all, he had just realized that he wants to be around you all day, he wants to see you as much as possible.

Itto smiled thinking how lucky he was to be able to be with you every single day.

"Hey!" You slapped him on his shoulder "What are you staring at? Are you even listening to me?" you pouted

He pinched your cheeks with a huge smile on his face "Come on, let's continue training"

—

This memory made his heart ache, the first time he realized that he likes you. Itto felt like his heart was crushed again.

"You alright?" Gorou asked, clasping Itto's shoulder "Do you really want to do this?"

Itto snapped back in reality "Of course! I want to help after all!" he lied, he misses you, he'd rather go to wherever you are than help in the camp. If he could swim there, he would but he has no idea where you might be.

;

Itto walked home after helping the camp, he saw a swarm of hilichurls. He sighed "I barely have energy for this" even though he said that, he cleared up the place swiftly.

After his one final blow on a hilichurl, he felt his hand sting, it was bleeding "Seriously?" he sighed, trying to fix himself up

—

"You're being careless as usual" You nagged, fixing up Itto's wound on his hand "I told you to not just use brute force, don't act too rashly!"

"I know I know" Itto answered. He stares at you while you fix up his wound, he felt his heart beat faster every second that you touch him "I'm alright now!" he pulled his hand, preventing you from treating it, his face was red, even his ears.

"Itto! Don't be stubborn!" You yelled at him as you try to grab his hand again, but he was taller than you "It's going to get infected" Itto thought that you looked so cute trying to reach his hand so he chuckled.

Itto knows that if he gives his hand to you again, his heart will burst, he felt so giddy being beside you and now that you're skin-to-skin, he just couldn't handle it.

—

Itto grasped his chest, breathing heavily, feeling tears fall out from his eyes, the bleeding on his hand continues because of how poorly he treated it "How can I possibly — just move forward without you?"

;

Itto was still walking home since the camp was pretty far away. He was trying his best to not remember moments with you. It was impossible, literally every single thing reminds him of you. Eventually, he just accepted the fact that he can't think of anything else but you.

He smiles to himself while walking through the woods, remembering funny moments with you. He would sometimes laugh to himself a little.

His smile stopped as he passed by a huge tree beneath a huge waterfall "Oh — no no"

—

"Look how beautiful" You muttered from under your breath. Itto took you to the most beautiful place he knew in Inazuma.

"Yeah?" Itto answered, observing you as you gawk. You and Itto fought with the troops yesterday, so he thought about bringing you peace this day. He was scared for you even though you're probably stronger than him.

After fighting yesterday, Itto hugged you tightly. You were afraid that he was going to say something here in this beautiful place now. He wouldn't take you here without any reason. You feel your heart pound.

Itto planned to confess his love for you here. Little did he know that you were nervous about the same reason.

"Y/n" He called to you. You looked at him thinking that was it, he was going to say something you're clearly not ready for.

Itto opened his mouth slightly, every second feels like hours on how slow he was.

"Itto?" You called, still nervous that you feel your hands shake "Is something—?"

"I love you" Itto blurted out, feeling embarrassed "Y-you don't have to answer, just—!"

Your eyes widen "S-sorry. I-I can't —" you felt weak all of a sudden, not knoeing how to react so you froze.

Ever since that day, Itto has treated you the best he can, he was a real gentleman but also a tease at times. You still haven't given him an answer but you spend every single day with him, just having fun and laughing together.

Eventually, the vision hunt decree was lifted. You know you have things to do in other places, even Kazuha knew this so he talked with you while Itto wasn't around.

"What are your plans now?" Kazuha asked, he was aware about your relationship with Itto "I know you have other priorities"

"Kazuha, I— it's just too much" You scratch your head, you started to cry and Kazuha was there to comfort you.

What you didn't know was that Itto saw that moment, how Kazuha hugged you, how you cried because of him. That's when he decided to just cut off ties with you. That way you would stop pressuring over the matter.

Itto never expected that you would leave with Beidou and Kazuha.

—

Itto punched the tree beside him "Goddamn it!" remembering his most regrettable decision in all his life. He could have been more patient but he didn't. He acted too rashly. He screamed as he landed another punch on the tree, eventually breaking it in half.

;

Itto was finally home, he buried his face on the pillow "Another day, another — you" he sighed.

This was Itto's everyday life. He can't get out of it. He loved you so much he almost broke you. Itto always think about how you said it was too much for you.

He spends his days waiting for you to return because he still believes you would. He always go to the port after meeting with the kids, hoping that the next ship stopping had you inside. Hoping that the next person to come out was you. He always get disappointed in the end.

— END

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin arataki itto #genshin itto #arataki itto angst #itto angst #arataki itto #genshin angst #genshin impact angst

[lovingcorleone]

“Stronger Together, Weaker Without” — Michael Corleone x Reader

(gifcredit)

Summary: Y/N and Michael were put into a difficult situation, when unexpected things happened just before their wedding.

Pairing: Michael Corleone x Fem!Reader

Request: "Hello could you do one where Michael Corleone and his wife are having a difficult time at the wedding and are trying to talk to resolve it?" — @loveilovetoo

Author's note: (English is my second language.) ; I needed to overcome writer's block, and that's why it took me so long - my sincere apologies! I really hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Warning: strong language, sappy conversation?

STRONGER TOGETHER, WEAKER WITHOUT

Friday, the day before wedding.

It is safe to say that many things went wrong on your and Michael's wedding weekend. It all started a day before the ceremony and you weren't sure what to think about it. First, the main bridesmaid, your best friend B/F/N, called you early in the morning, telling that she was sorry but she didn't feel twice as good and probably caught some illness. That would be okay, it wasn't a big deal, because these things just happen and you cannot really prevent them. Little did you know that it was only the beginning of a nightmare.

With this information you went right to Michael to tell him the news, but he only assured you that, yes, it was dissapointing, but nothing that couldn't be solved easily. You only wished this was the first and also the last unpleasant thing of the whole wedding. Another suprise came later in the afternoon when Michael got a call from Tom. Your soon to-be husband was hesistant at first if he should tell you that place where you two were suppossed to have your first dance as married couple, was completely burned down. He quietly came to you and gave you a tight hug. „I have good and bad news.“ he started, „I guess you want to hear the bad news first, huh?“ You pulled back from his hug and gave him worried look. „What happened?“ „So ... the thing is that our venue is gone. Burned down. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. But! The good news is that people who did that are already caught.“ After he had spoken, you were speechless. You couldn't find the words. You blankly stared at Michael, then turned away from him and hugged yourself. „Why would someone do that? Why? We deserve to be happy too, why can't we be?!“ you raised your voice a bit and a few tears escaped from your eyes from pure frustration. Your fiancé was desperate just as much as you were. His blood was boiling, but he knew he should be calm and supportive. Michael was heartbroken too. It was supposed to be his happiest weekend in his life.

Fortunately, your day ended without any more complications. You couldn't sleep with Michael in the same room, because tradition clearly said that it was forbidden and it brings bad luck, so you two just called each other that night. „Everything will be just fine. I promise you that. No one will take away our wedding day from us.“ „Michael, that sounded a bit threatening..“ you laughed, „But yeah. Tomorrow's about us.“

Saturday, Wedding Day, 6:00am.

You didn't have to wake up that early, but the thing was that, you had a very strong feeling that you should be fully awake no matter what. Also, around 7:15am Connie and Sandra promised you to come and start with your preparation for your big day. By that time you were just sitting on your bed watching sun rising up through your window. The bed felt so lonely without Michael in it. You got used to falling asleep and waking up next to him. You wondered if he was still sleeping.

In the middle of your showering, there was a loud knock on the door followed by excited voices of two girls mentioned above. „Come on, sleepyhead. We need you to get ready!“ said Connie with joyful voice. You opened the door with a towel covering your body and wet hair. „About damn time, dear. I hope you slept enough, because I'm sure that right after wedding there will be no sleep for you.“ continued Sandra and winked at you giving you a sign what she really meant by it. You giggled and hugged both of them. „Thanks. Thanks a lot for helping me. I don't know what would I do without you two.“ you sighed and sat at the chair in front of big mirror. It took Sandra about one hour to make your hair looking like it belonged to a princess. It was exactly what you wanted. Then it was Connie's turn with doing your make-up and, of course, it turned out even better than you expected. All of you were so satisfied with final result. Then you put on your dress. Now, you looked like a real princess. Your B/F/N was the one who helped you decide which dress was, metaphorically, made for you. Even though, she couldn't be there with you, the dress reminded you of her. For a minute, all your troubles suddenly disappeared and you were filled with pure joy.

Your silent admiration of your look was however interrupted by someone knocking on the door. Connie was the closest person to it so she carefully opened, but only her face was seen, in case if it was Michael looking for you. Luckily, it was not Michael, but his brother. Which was not good scenario either. „Sonny? Don't you have a work to do?“ Connie asked in quite annoyed voice, because he obviously interrupted their –girls moment-. Sonny was visibly nervous and his hairline was covered in drops of sweat. His sister could swear she saw a glimpse of fear in his eyes. „I need to speak to Y/N. Like right now.“ he said urgently and tried to step into the room, but Connie didn't let him to do so. „C'mon Connie. Just let me in...“ „Who's that?“ you asked with a raised voice so the person on the other side of the door could hear you.

„It's Sonny. I need to tell you somethin'.“ You nodded to Connie that she could let him in. He didn't hesitate and made his way right to you. His first reaction was adorable, because his look fell on your dress and then on your face. He widely smiled ready to give you some cheeky compliment, but he quickly remembered why he came there. „Okay, now, don't be mad.“ As he said that, your happy face dropped. „Everytime when someone says „Don't be mad.“, something really bad happened. I hope this is not that case.“ He made a squinted face and took a deep breath. „Look... aaagh...Something happened.“ „Continue...“ „You know.. your wedding rings...Well...ughh...they are kind of gone. We can't find them and we looked for them everywhere.“ he finally admitted as you fell down on your chair. „Oh my god.“ Sandra whispered and ran to hug you and Connie's jaw dropped down. „But ..how..? They were put in a safe place. Does Michael know?“ Sonny scratched the back of his head. „Tom and Fredo are tellin' him now.“

You felt your chest got tight and it was a bit harder for you to breathe. „Bridesmaid's ill, the venue is gone and so are the rings.“ you whispered holding back tears. For a moment there was a tense silence, and everyone in the room felt kind of embarrassed. The best day of your life turned out to be the worst. Connie didn't even had a chance to comfort you because you stood up with emotionless face and went to the door. You were about to stepped out of room, but Sonny gently grabbed your elbow. „Where are you going? You can't see Michael. It's a tradition..“ You angrily glared at him „Fuck tradition. I need to talk with Michael.“ Sonny let go of you very quickly and felt ashamed of his words. The situation was way more important than some tradition.

Your soon-to-be husband had the same idea. He was on his way to your room when you two bumped into each other at the corner.

„Our rings are gone.“ both of you said at the same time and he pulled you into a hug. Though his mind was full of emotions and mostly full of anger, he did notice how incredibly beautiful you were. Of course, for him you were beautiful everyday, but seeing you in wedding dress made him tear up a bit. He then suggested to move to some empty room so you could talk in private. You sat on a bed and Michael joined you. His arm hugged you over your shoulders and you gently put your head on his chest. After overcoming primary shock, you spoke first. „I don't feel like this is all just stupid coincidence.“ you sobbed and let the tears make their own way down your cheeks. „Then what do you think it is?“ he asked quietly. You raised your head and looked into his eyes. „What if this is a bad sign? At the moment, I feel like everything is ruined and we are just helplessly standing in the middle of the chaos not knowing what to do. What if we are not meant to be married.“ your voice broke and you couldn't keep looking into his eyes anymore. His arm fell off of your shoulders. He wiped away his own tears and got down on his knees grabbing your hands, which made you look at him. „So? Even if we are not meant to get married, that doesn't mean that we are not meant to be together, Y/N. I believe in us. But I need you to believe in us too.“ His voice was steady but you could hear how hard he tried to remain being steady. Not only your heart was breaking, his was too. Some couples would turn this situation into a humorous one, but for you and Michael, it was really serious. You sniffled and bit your lip. „I believe in us too. But these things don't happen without a reason. I just- I don't know.“ „I love you. Do you love me?“ You were shocked by his question. „Of course, I do. You are my everything, Mike.“ you sobbed again and his finger moved to your face and wiped away new tears. „You are my everything too. And I know how long you've dreamed about this day. We can cancel it if you want. Or we will face this very eventful day together. Like we always do with everything that crosses our path. How does that sound to you, hm?“ a very faint smile appeared on his lips. He made a good point. You could've run from it or face it. „The venue is destroyed, we don't have our rings and we also broke the tradition...Every single thing is against us. Maybe marriage can break this curse or whatever it is. Maybe we should shoot our shot.“ your lips formed into a weak smile. He took your face into his hands and kissed you softly. Then he added: „We will be okay. From now on.“

#michael corleone #michael corleone imagine #michael corleone x reader #al pacino #the godfather x reader #the godfather imagine #the godfather #oneshot

[darkh3llscap3]

Eventually

Peter Parker x Stark! Reader

A/n: This isn't my best work but I did have fun making it. Loosely based off of good for u by Olivia Rodrigo. Except to see more based off of her songs.

Warnings: Depressed reader, cheating, greaving, mention of character death, break up, angst

Summary: While dealing with the death of her father she also has to deal with the fact that Peter has been cheating on her with Mj.

General Masterlist

Marvel Masterlist

I feel like I've been staring at my reflection for hours. I just can't stop staring at the redness that's underneath my eyes. I splash water on my face and as a tear runs down my cheek. I take a shaky deep breath as my eyes shut trying to push away the unwanted thoughts from my mind. A knock comes from the other side of the door making me notice how tight my hold is on the counter. I let go to dry my face with the towel, that's hanging by the sink. My shaky hands open the door, only to see Peter with a backpack on his shoulders. 

He lets out a almost silent "Ill be back." When he notices me on his way out.

"Where are you going?" I ask him, I could see that he has bags under his eyes probably from the nightmares he gets when he tries to sleep. 

"I'm going to hang out with Ned for a while." He started walking out of the room. My brows furrowed as I remembered that Neds not even here this week cause he's at some camp. 

A sigh left my lips as I realized he's not even trying to hide the fact he's cheating on me anymore. Ever since my dad died he's been really distant. Anytime I try to comfort him he pushes me away and leaves. All I want is to be good for him and help him get through this but he keeps going to her.

I don't think I can take much more of this anymore. Does he not know this is hurting me too? I thought we would help each other get through this but I guess she's going to be the one to fill in that spot.

Peter comes back around 11 his shoulders are high and he comes in and puts his backpack down and starts to take off his sweater. Before he can sit down I say what's been on my mind. "I think we should break up." As soon as the words left my mouth he stopped moving. He turned to face me and nodded. He picked his backpack up again and started to leave the room. 

Then he stopped "I'll get the rest of my stuff tomorrow." After that he left. 

A deep breath helps the knotting in my stomach as I ignore how it sounded like he's been practicing that for a while.

It's been a month since the break up and I feel like I've gotten worse since then. My mom started putting me in therapy after I lost control during training. After me and Peter broke up it only took him about two weeks to make things with MJ official. I stopped going to school so I didn't have to go see them. She makes me learn from home since she knew I couldn't deal with seeing them. 

Lately I've noticed Peter has been getting more recognition and praise from the media. Apparently he's not the only one going to therapy either. On my last session the therapist got our sessions mixed up somehow and tried to do us together. I walked out and refused to do it. I stopped going to her sessions after that. I remember how he didn't even acknowledge me. How happy he looked when he was in the hallway talking to Ned and Mj.

How can he be fine now, why can't I be fine too? Everyday seems like another day in hell, another day where my loved ones leave me. When someone else is going to exit out of my life and never come back. I take a deep breath as I hear somebody come in. I look and see my mom with a frown on her perfect features. She sits next to me and starts rubbing my back.

"Happy told me you didn't come down for breakfast." I lay my head on her shoulder and bask in comfort. Her head leans back on mine as she continues to run my back in soothing circles. 

"I'm sorry." I say to her in a low voice. She picks up my head and makes me face her.

"It's okay, I just want you to eat something." I nod and get up ready to get out of my room.

When I get down there I get a bowl of cereal and start eating it. I see that the news is on next thing I know a picture of Spider-Man comes on. The news reporters start praising him for his work. I feel a bubble of rage well up inside me. 

It's been about 2 months since we broke up and my mom made me go back to school. She thinks it will be better for me to get out there and move on. I don't blame her, she's just worried about me. I guess this is healthier than being inside all day learning about math.

For my first day back I threw on a sweater I had in my closet that my dad gave me on my birthday. I put on some jeans and slipped on my backpack over my shoulder. 

The second I walk in it feels like all eyes are on me. People taking pity on the girl whose dad died to save the universe. I go to my locker that they didn't give to anyone. They kept everything the same as when I was here before. I just don't have any classes with Peter now. 

I take out everything I don't need and start to head to class. While I'm on my way I make eye contact with Peter while he's walking the opposite way. We pass by each other and it's like we never dated to begin with. Like we don't know each other, like we never did. I ignore the sting in my chest and continue on with my day.

About a week later I walked into the training room cause I forgot my charger when I was with Nat last time. I pause when I walk in cause I see Peter practicing. I start to leave when he turns around and looks at me. He takes out his headphones and stares at me. I signal to my charger on the floor. My hand shakes it lightly to show I was here for it and start to walk out.. He ignores me and continues to work out.

Then I stop and turn back around "Why didn't you care." I say as he looks at me again and furrows his brows.

"What?" He says as he walks a little closer to me, taking out his headphones.

"Why didn't you care when we broke up?" I try to keep my cool posture while I wait for his reply.

"We were not going to make it, I was going through something that you couldnt help with. It was bound to happen sooner or later." I can't help the scoff that leaves my mouth. 

"I couldn't help? I going through the same as you." I say and his eyebrows raised a little.

"You weren't as bad. I couldn't sleep because of it you could." He says back like it changes anything

"I couldn't sleep either. Why else was I awake whenever you woke up from a nightmare." He stared at me for a second looking at my features before he came up with his next response.

"I didn't know you were going through the same." I shook my head and felt the rage come back up.

"My dad died the same day your mentor did, Peter. Of course I was going through something. I was just trying to be strong to comfort you, to be there for you. I loved you so I tried to be the one who you would come to for emotional support but it wasn't enough because you went to her for that comfort and support." I let out already feeling tired from this conversation. "Not once did you ask why I broke up with you or even asked if I was doing okay." I tear fell from my eye as I was talking.

His hand came up to my face to wipe away my tears. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath enjoying the feeling of his hand in my face. Then I backed away from him and noticed small streams of tears on his rosey cheeks.

"I'm so sorry y/n I was just so wrapped up in my own head about Tony's death. I felt like I had nobody even though I had you." I nodded understanding where he was coming from.

"I get it I just wish you hadn't went straight for Mj instead if talking to me about it." I felt like I finally had closure. It didn't close the wound I had from our relationship but it helped. It turned around ready to leave when his hand caught my arm.

"That's it?" He asked, confused, his thumb rubbing the skin of my wrist. I wiped my tears with the sleeve of my sweater. 

"Well I mean yeah, what else did you think was going to happen?" I asked him as I pulled my wrist from his hand.

"I thought since we've worked through our problems we might get back together." I shook my head, backing away a little from him. I could tell he didn't miss it judging from how he frowned a bit.

"No, you have Mj now and I don't think I could trust that you won't go running back to her the second our relationship gets rocky." I said he came closer to me but stopped again when I backed away.

"I wouldn't, I love you y/n, I was just confused and messed up from the blurb." My face went to pity as I went closer to him.

"I know it must have been tough but you have to understand where I'm coming from Peter. When we broke up you acted like I didn't even exist. If you want to we can be friends and see where that takes us but I don't think I could handle a relationship with someone right now." He nods and turns to leave, this time him letting me go.

#x reader #x female reader #female reader #angst #peter parker x reader #peter x reader #tom holland x reader #peter parker x stark!reader #cheating #one shot #spiderman x reader #olivia rodrigo #good for u imagine #marvel #marvel x reader

[onlymexsarah]

Jealousy || Jesper Fahey

Request: "hey i saw your requests were open and i was wondering if you could write something with jesper? maybe with him being jealous of everyone that flirts with the reader or something like that lol, i just want jealous jesper. you are amazing btw i love your kaz’s stories!! <3"

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader

Warning: just flirt and my english :)

A/N: Thank you sweety! I'm so happy you liked it, and I hope you are gonna like this too! I'm sorry if it's short, but I have to admit I've never written something about Jepser nor I've never thought about him in that way, and it was a funny challenge, hope you'll appreciated what I've written❤

Working for Kaz Brekker meant that your life was in danger six days on seven when the luck was on your side, but that didn't stop you from having fun.

Not only you were part of the dregs, but you also were Nina's best friend, and that meant that no woman and no man had any chance to say no to you, not when you flirted with them.

It wasn't a secret that you loved fun, and just like Nina and Jesper you loved having people's eyes on you. Kaz knew that the three of you could easily flirt your way out from any trouble if needed to.

"Green or red?" you asked Nina with two dress in your hands.

"Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Definitely green." she answered without looking, she was too focus tailoring her makeup in the mirror.

From the high of his ruthlessly, Kaz Brekker had given to all of you the free night, and you had decided to go out with your friends and have fun.

"Still try to make Jesper admitting his feelings?" asked Nina while you brushed your hair.

"Jesper is Jesper, he flirts with everyone. If he doesn't a move, then there is an entire city that is waiting to do it." you said with more confident than you felt. Jesper Fahey was the boy who had fucked up your mind since the beginning, with his witty remarks and his flirty personality, you had fell for him as a kruge fell in Kaz's pocket.

You didn't want to have to go and console yourself with strangers, but at the same time you couldn't wait Jesper forever.

Nina chuckled helping you with your hair and then walking with you downstairs. "Let see if we can find a worthy partner for you, Y/n."

They reached Matthias and Jesper outside the Slat; you had the suspect that Inej would have stayed sat on Kaz's window all night keeping him company.

Matthias had to shut Jesper's mouth when you girls arrived. He was devouring you with his eyes and the Fjerdan couldn't hold a smirk.

Damn it. Did you plan to seduce all Ketterdam that night? Because he would easily surrender at you.

When you approached he composed himself. "I can't decide if you look amazing in that dress or if you'd look better without it."

He winked and saw a little blush on your cheek, but if you were shy you hid it very well with a sly smirk. "I guess you're gonna have to see yourself."

"It's a primise then." he said before the four of you started walking around the streets of Ketterdam.

Your relationship had always been like that. Jesper couldn't deny that his comments had become more true and spontaneous, he couldn't help it, and it was hilarious for the people around you, because it was oblivious how you both felt toward each other for everyone but you.

"Love, I don't think we can afford a table here." Matthias said to Nina once they stopped in front of one of the most fancy pub in Ketterdam.

"Leave me and Y/n deal with that." she winked taking your arm with hers and bringing you at the counter where the owner, a beautiful Kaelish woman, stood.

Jesper stayed at the door with Matthias looking you and Nina flirting with the woman. He saw how her eyes were on you while you giggled and smiled at her. He couldn't hear what you were saying, but it seemed that it was working because now the woman had her arms rested on the counter, her face close to yours.

"Hard, isn't it?" asked knowingly Matthias beside him. "See the girl you like flirting with someone else and obliviously being reciprocated."

"They are Nina and Y/N, they always do...that" Jepser said waving his hands in the air to point you girls. "You are the one who find it strange."

"Maybe you are right, but it's one of the things I love about her. But still, it's not a shame admitting you are jealous...I am too."

He didn't have time to answer that you and Nina arrived with two huge smiles on. I am not jealous. "Guess who has a table as a gift of the house?"

"We do, don't we?" asked Jesper excited.

"Yes! Come." you said taking his arm and bringing him at the table with Nina and Matthias behind you.

"You have to thanks Y/n, she did all the work. The owner couldn't take off her eyes from her as she talked." said Nina smirking as Jesper shifted on his seat.

"I was lucky she liked my accent." you waved your hand in the hand as it was nothing.

Nina chuckled. "More like she wanted to hear you moaning with your accent in her bedroom."

Jesper and Matthias choked themself with their drinks while you started laughing. "At least my beautiful accent gave us a table and free drinks."

You enjoyed the night, drinking and dancing. Jesper knew that people flirted with you everyday, but he thought that someone was pranking him that night. Every time he turned around someone was talking with you, making you giggle or blush. He was getting crazy.

Couldn't they just...walk away?

He moved closer to you at some point and took you into a conversation everytime he saw someone approaching.

You noticed that something annoyed Jesper, but you couldn't figure out what. You all were having fun, even if with your disbelief he hadn't danced with anyone but you. Was he ill?

"I'll go and take two drinks, stay here dove." he said in your ear walking away and disappearing behind the crowd.

You stayed there for while when a young man of few years older than you approached smiling. "You must be the star of the night because no one is shining like you."

You tried your best to not laugh. "And you must be in the wrong place, the circus in on the other side of the city."

"Ouch, pretty and quick-witten. A letal combination." he said amused.

You shrugged. "What can I say, Ketterdam made me."

You two kept talking about silly things keeping the flirt in the air. He was the one more eager, you were just waiting Jesper but the company of a pretty man wasn't bad at all.

You were laughing at one of his joke when an arm took your waist and squeezed you. "Piss off dude, she is with me."

You watched Jesper with widened eyes as he burned the man with his eyes.

"She didn't seem so to me." said the man annoyed.

"Well sorry to disappoint you. Now go away if you don't want trouble."

"Jesper!" you didn't know what was happening. You had been talking with people all night and he hadn't said a word, so why now was different?

"It's fine, I'll go." you and Jesper remained alone and he looked like nothing happened.

"Drink?" he said offering you one glass.

You shoke your head astonished and walked away toward the door. You needed fresh air and stay as far away as possible from him.

"Y/n!" you heard his voice behind you but you didn't care. What was wrong with him? He had never had such behaviour in none of your nights out. "Y/n wait!" He followed you outside, the drinks forgotten somewhere inside. "Tell me what's wrong."

"What was that?" you asked crossing your arm in front of your chest.

"What was what?" he said confused making you rolling your eyes.

"You were...rude. You had no reason to threat him like you did."

You could see in his eyes that he didn't know what to say. He looked for an good lie but it was hard under your inquisitors eyes. "Y-you were suppose to be with me!"

"So? That never stopped you from finding other partners." you raised an eyebrow obliviously.

He gave a quick look around, as if something could help him, but when his eyes fell on you again he knew he had to tell the true otherwise he could loose you.

"I was annoyed, alright? All those people flirting with you, saints I couldn't even turn around a moment that someone had already approached you." he agitated his hands in the air while you widened your eyes.

"Why should it bother you anyway?" you asked defensive.

He looked at you astonished, as if you were asking why the water was wet. "Because I like you! Hadn't been oblivious enough these past months?!" Now your mouth was a bit hopen, speechlees. He seemed to notice what he had said after few seconds. "Oh...it would be too late saying that it's not true, wouldn't it?"

You nodded quickly. "Yes, definitely too late."

"Well, you weren't suppose to find out like this. I had planned something like a date, maybe with some candles and a good view, but I guess that in front of a pub in the Barrel sounds fine too." he tried to joke shrugging while you were still processing his words.

"You are still in time, the night is not over for that date." you sounded casual but you couldn't hold your smile while you said it.

He looked at you surprised before smiling like a child. "Let's tell Nina and Matthias we are leaving then."

You walked inside the pub, both smiling like idiots, before you felt a hand on you wrist that turned you around and a pair of soft lips on yours. Jesper was kissing you while he kept you close with his right hand on your waist and the other on your cheek, and you didn't think twice about putting your hands behind his neck.

"I have to make sure no one will flirt with you again tonight." he said seductively with a smirk a few inches from your mouth making you blush.

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker #nina zenik #matthias helvar #inej ghafa #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #the dregs #the crows #wylan van eck #ketterdam #ice court