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smellsfaintlyofvanilla · 3 years

Note

Hello omg, can I request Sasha with a warrior S/O? Like reader came with Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt on their mission and during Reiner and Bertholdt’s reveal, she reveals herself too? UAUAUA it can be angst or whatever you prefer 🥺❤️

I gave the reader the Warhammer titan btw cause it’s my favorite akdkakfkd

Also, it’s a little long, but that’s just ‘cause I wrote out the whole warrior reveal in word form, and it’s longer than I remember lol

With You

(Sasha Braus x Reader)

AU: Canon, slightly divergent

Warnings: Gore/graphic description of injury, season 3 spoilers, slight season 4 spoilers

Genre: Angst

Summary: Following the battle at Utgard castle, Reiner stops to have a chat with Eren, and reveals that he, Bertholdt, and Sasha’s s/o are all titan shifters, right in front of Sasha.

Words: 3.9K

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You had no time to process what had happened. Ymir was a titan, Christa was Historia, and Zeke has finally made his appearance.

You sighed and leaned against the rope tethers of the pulley system, regaining your bearings on the platform as you were pulled up and over the wall. The battle of Utgard castle had been tough—and many secrets were uncovered.

So, Ymir was the titan that ate Marcel all those years ago... You recounted in your head, sighing as you held your face in your palms. And now Zeke is here. We must’ve been too long without any sign of progress. We’re in big trouble. If we get back without Annie and Eren, it’ll be all over for us. Magath is gonna—

“Y/n!” A cheery voice brought you out of your slump, and you looked over your shoulder to see Sasha standing behind you, an arm outstretched as an offering of help.

You smiled at the sight of your girlfriend, and you slowly rose from your spot on the makeshift elevator, taking her hand and pulling yourself up onto the wall. “Thanks, Sasha.”

As soon as you stood up straight, Sasha lunged at you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, lifting her feet off of the ground as you leaned all of her body weight onto you.

“I’m so glad you’re okay...! I was so worried!” She buried her face in your neck as she spoke, and you wrapped your arms around her lower back, putting your hands on her butt as support so she could wrap her legs around your waist.

You giggled at her, cuddling closer into her embrace. “I’m alright, I’m okay. There’s no need to worry.”

“I know, but I heard that you and your squad got held up at Utgard castle overnight in the middle of a titan horde, and when we finally got there and saw the tower collapsed, I was so scared! I... I—!” She cried into your neck as you moved a hand to rub small circles on her back.

“I know, I know, but we’re okay now. We had a bit of...” You glanced to the left. Ymir lay unconscious and steaming in the stretcher, a distressed Historia leaning over her and brushing strands of brown locks out of her face. “Unexpected help.”

“Mhm...” She mumbled, leaning into you for support. You stayed like this in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s presence after so long of being separated.

“Hey, lovebirds!” A loud shout caught your attention, and both you and Sasha turned to the source; Connie. “Save that stuff for the dorms! We still have stuff to do!”

“Right...” Sasha muttered, climbing off of you and running towards Connie, helping him haul terrified soldiers over the wall.

You stared in admiration for only a brief moment before your attention turned to your comrades, Reiner and Bertholdt. Reiner’s arm was wrapped up in the torn cloth of Historia’s skirt, and Bertholdt was close by, the two of them standing in a solemn, heavy silence.

You approached them quietly, taking a seat next to Reiner. Neither of you said anything. The sudden appearance of the beast titan, or rather, Zeke, had shaken you all. You had been gone for years, and gave no sign of retrieving the Founding Titan. Not only that, but you had lost Marcel and Annie. No matter what, the situation wasn’t going to end smoothly for you three.

To the right, many of the Scouts had gathered around a blonde Garrison soldier. Hannes—his name popped into your mind, as Eren had mentioned him before, while in the 104th. He seemed to be disclosing something to the others, and they looked on with mixed expressions.

“Do you think this has something to do with Zeke?” You questioned. Reiner kept his face buried in his palm, and Bertholdt turned to you with a sigh.

“Most likely.” The tall man answered. “I mean, we saw him. He’s clearly here. He must be doing something with his spinal fluid. Speeding up the process, perhaps.” He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in anxiety, eyes wide. “We’re in deep shit.”

You didn’t respond to him verbally, offering only a huff in solemn agreement.

The group of soldiers disbanded, though many branched of into separate conversations of worry, wonder, and resentment. As they walked off, Reiner stood up suddenly, eyes still fixated on the ground.

“Eren.” He called out, drawing the attention of the shorter man. “We should talk. You got a moment?”

“Sure, I guess.” He sighed, walking over. You and Bertholdt shared confused and concerned looks. The two of you had long noticed that Reiner had gone a bit off the deep end since arriving at Paradis, so you were wary of what he might say or do next.

“Five years ago, we compromised Wall Maria and launched an attack on humanity.” He spoke, turning his back to Eren, hanging his head in defeat. You looked at Bertholdt, and he mirrored your emotion. Panic.

“I’m the Armored Titan. He’s the Colossal.” He pointed his thumb in your direction when he spoke. “And she’s the Warhammer.”

“What are you talking about? Why are you telling him?” Bertholdt chocked out quietly.

“Reiner!” You whispered sharply, venom dripping from your tone. The three of you had done such a careful job keeping your identities secret from the others, and Reiner just spilled all of it. There was no going back from this.

“We were on a mission.” He continued.

“Stop!” Bertholdt pleaded, but Reiner didn’t waver.

“Our goal was to ensure mankind’s extinction. But now, there’s no need for that. Eren,” He turned to face the shocked and confused boy to his side. “If you want the walls to remain standing, it’s simple. Just come with Bertholdt, Y/n, and me. Do you understand?”

A good look to your left proved that he did not, in fact, understand.

“Understand? What the hell is there to understand?!” He shouted, drawing the attention of a few soldiers. Mikasa stood protectively a short distance away, and Sasha, with her impeccable hearing, turned to face the scene as well. The two of you made eye contact, and your distress must have been evident even at such a distance, because her eyes widened, and she started to make her way over with concern and confusion.

“Listen to me.” To your and Bertholdt’s horror, Reiner kept speaking. “I need you to do exactly as I say. Look, I know this is sudden, but we have to go.”

“Right now?” He exclaimed. “Where would you take me?”

“I can’t tell you. Not yet.” Internally, you started to collect yourself. This wasn’t ending quietly. Bloodshed was dreadfully immanent. “Just think of it as our hometown.” Your eyes widened. He’s just gonna ask Eren? You thought, astounded. After all this, he really thinks Eren is just gonna follow us? What is he thinking?!

“Okay? So what’s it gonna be? Not a bad deal, right? The chance to avert a major crisis?”

“I’m not so sure...” He muttered. You were surprised he didn’t have a stronger reaction, especially for someone as fiery as him. Perhaps he was still in shock, or denial. Either way, they were teetering on the edge of battle, even if you and Bertholdt were the only ones to sense it.

“You guys!” Armin shouted, waving to capture the attention of you, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Eren. “Get a move on, we’re heading out!” Despite that, Sasha pushed right past him, closing in to the conversation, standing still now that she was in earshot. Mikasa was to her left, watching Eren with a dangerously protection glare.

Eren closed his eyes, taking in a deep sigh. It felt as if, for a moment, the world stood still. Damn it, he thought, I didn’t want to believe it...

A distant memory flashed through his head. When Annie had been found out, they had discussed the possibility of Reiner, Bertholdt, and Y/n also being shifters, but they didn’t have proof. Was it really so simple, though?

He opened his eyes and placed a firm hand on Reiner’s shoulder. “You’re just tired. That’s it, right? Help me out here Bertholdt, Y/n. Your nerves are shot. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“U-Uh, yeah.” Bertholdt fumbled. “It’s the battle fatigue talking!”

“Yeah!” You reaffirmed, luckily being able to exude more confidence than Bertholdt. “You’re just tired. After everything that just happened, I can’t blame you.” You laughed nervously, praying no one saw through your bluff.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Between your bluff, and his shock, Eren took the bait. “If you really were the Armored Titan, what’s the endgame here? We wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. What’d you expect me to do? Say yes? Let myself be kidnapped just ‘cause you asked politely?” Somehow, you found yourself agreeing with Eren on that last one.

Despite Eren’s nonchalant response, a dead silence overtook the air, and Sasha found it as her cue to step forward.

“Y/n? What’s going on here?” She placed a hand on your shoulder, but as soon as she did, you looked back. She gasped at the sight. You looked petrified.

“Right. Not thinking straight, am I?” He finally gave up his ploy, wide-eyed and sweating bullets. “Barely know what I’m saying here. Must’ve gone off the deep end.”

Eren turned his back to the three of you. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Deafening silence and still air ensued. You did not move. The clouds cleared, and rays of sun shone down on the stone beneath your feet.

“That’s the problem.” Reiner shook. He chuckled, and shadows covered his face. You’d never seen him like this before.

“I’ve been here too long for my own good. Three years of this madness, surrounded by idiots. We were kids. What’d we know about anything?”

You couldn’t help but agree with Reiner on that one. You didn’t want to become a warrior, none of you did. If you knew the atrocities you had to commit in order to have the essence of a warrior, the idea would’ve never crossed your mind.

“Why did there have to be people like this.” He choked, tears pricking his eyes and mouth spread into a wide, ugly frown. “Why? Why did I let myself devolve into such a half-assed piece of shit?”

“It’s too late now.” He lifted his arm out of the cast makeshift cast, and held his arm up, showing the red and bloody bite mark. “Damned if I know what’s right anymore! Who cares? It is what it is. No choice but to face what I’ve done! As a warrior.”

His arm steamed, and shortly after, the skin closed up, blood drying and appearing as if he’d never been injured from the get-go.

“No road left but the one that leads to the end!” He screamed. Eren’s eyes widened as he gasped. He finally understood.

“Reiner! Right now? Here?” Bertholdt yelled back, prepared for anything, despite the beads of sweat that rolled down his face.

“We’re really doing this?!” You echoed, and Sasha looked on with a horrified expression.

“Yes. Right here, right now!” He commanded, marching towards Eren. “We settle this once and for all!”

Mikasa appeared out of nothing in a fraction of second, blades drawn and mind set on murder. She swung her blade at Reiner, who put up his hand defensively as the blade split his hand in half from his fingers all the way to his wrist. She spun around in an instant, and her blade cleanly slashed right across Bertholdt’s neck, who fell to the ground screaming and holding his throat.

He eyes were set on you, and an underhanded swing of her blade slashed a line right across your face. Blood immediately clouded your vision, and you groaned in pain as you were sure you had lost an eye.

She charged at you, determined to finish the job, but her sprint was interrupted by Sasha, who tackled Mikasa at full force, and the sword tumbled out of her grasp as Sasha pinned her down.

“Sasha!” She struggled. “Sasha, move! What are you doing?!” She tried to get up, but Sasha managed to overpower her momentarily, keeping her firmly on the ground.

“MIKASA STOP! PLEASE!” She pleaded at the top of her lungs. Rationally, she knew you were the enemy now, but she’d be damned if she let you die here, after everything the two of you had been through.

“Sasha, you can’t—!”

“I DON’T CARE!” She screamed. “YOU AREN’T GONNA HURT HER!”

Mikasa took quick advantage of Sasha’s emotional state and hurled her off, and she tumbled into a heap a few feet away. With little hesitation, Mikasa reequipped her blades.

But it was too late.

“Bertholdt! Y/n!” Reiner barked, lighting already manifesting around him.

The two of you looked at each other with horrified understanding, and prepared your own transformations.

Sparks of electricity surrounded you, and panic filled adrenaline exploded into flesh. Limbs shot out around you, plus the familiar hardened skin of the Armored, the skinless muscle of the Colossal, and the cloudy white body of your own titan.

Seconds passed, albeit one’s that felt like centuries, and you finally opened your eyes. You stood tall on top of the wall; 15 meters high. To your right, Reiner. And behind him was Bertholdt. Only half formed due to the space, and his lower body ceased to exist. Ribs shot out and dug into the stone, and powerful gusts of steam shot off of his body.

The terrified pawns on the wall stared up at you, mouths agape. But the shock didn’t last long.

The hurricane of steam that came off of Bertholdt started to throw things around, and those who didn’t make quick use of their ODM gear were sent flying. One of those figures, Eren, was quickly swept up by Reiner in the chaos.

It was no use, though. That’s why you weren’t surprised in the slightest when he bit his hand and sparks flew, his transformation queued by a guttural scream of rage.

“Damn you... YOU TRAITORS!”

The Attack Titan formed in Reiner’s hand, fist already drawn back and preparing a strike to Reiner.

In a fraction of a second, you formed a large hammer—your namesake weapon—from hardened titan skin, raising it into the air with a passionate battle cry.

The hammer struck Eren in his flank, and he flew abruptly to the left. You shot Reiner a look, and he looked down in understanding, drawing his arms back in preparation for a charge.

Eren had stood up by the time Reiner had started his charge, and immediately braced for impact—he didn’t have the time to move.

Reiner collided with Eren, and knocked him to the ground effortlessly, his greater size and weight being of good use.

The two wrestled on the ground, and you hesitated to intervene. After all, your weapon was powerful, but imprecise. You couldn’t risk accidentally hitting Reiner. Instead, you turned around, assessing the situation on the wall, where Bertholdt had been unceremoniously shackled.

It seemed no one was brave enough—or rather, stupid enough—to approach the colossal in it’s torrid state, and you didn’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful.

But, out of the corner of your eye, a figure swung. Your eyes widened slightly in amusement as ODM gear shot from tree to tree, approaching you at in impressive speed. Hmph. Guess someone is stupid enough after all. You thought.

You were about to swipe them away without a second thought, but you faltered at the sight of auburn brown hair, loosely tied into a familiar ponytail.

You must’ve gotten a little distracted by the sight, because you were suddenly brought back to attention by the figure landing on your shoulder, the hooks of their ODM gear digging into your shoulder, which you assumed were used as leverage mere seconds ago.

You turned your massive head to look at it, and you saw the figure gasp and tremble at the sight. Sometimes, you forgot how terrifying your titan was. But you perked up for a moment, brought out of your violent trance by a familiar face.

“Y/N!” It was Sasha. “Y/n, what is going on here?!”

You opened your mouth to respond, and it came out in a gravely, deep tone because of your titan form. “Sasha...?”

She released the grapples of her ODM to run up and hug your neck—the best she could, that is, with your immense size.

“Y/n! Come on! Why didn’t you tell me! This... this isn’t you... tell me there’s a reason!!!” She screamed.

Turning back to observe Eren and Reiner’s struggle, you sighed internally. It was just like her to get too emotional in a situation like this.

You turned back to Sasha with a sad look in your eyes. Carefully, you brought your hand up to pinch the hood of her Scout jacket, lifting her and placing her back down on top of the wall.

Slowly, you crouched down to her level, meeting her eye to eye despite the pain it caused you to see the heartbroken look in her eyes. Your hand curled around her back to support her, the only kind of pseudo-hug you could give at the moment. Your thumb gently made its way to the top of her head, and you moved it down slowly to caress her head. Tears streamed down her face, the internal conflict being far too much for her to bear.

But a sudden mass to your lower back brought you out of your intimate moment with her. Pain shot up through your body as you felt your back collide with the ground, and your eyes opened in horror. Eren had somehow managed to best Reiner in their scrimmage—and he was after you now.

You started to form the base of your hammer in your hands once again, but a forceful punch to your jaw stopped it’s formation out of the shock and pain.

Another fist made it’s way to your face—and another, and another, and another. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could hear noises. Roaring, growling, and, the loudest of them all, screaming. Though, in your state, you couldn’t discern if it was even you or not.

Eren delivered his last punch with a frightening roar of passion, and your neck twisted at an unnatural angle as your head snapped off the titan body with a horrid, bone-grinding sound.

Your battered body fell out of the nape of the titan, using what was left of your strength to emerge at the last second. It was all you had in you, though, and the last thing you heard was your own heavy breathing and distant shouting as your vision started to vade.

Eren stood up tall, towering over your unconscious body, raising his fists in the air with a triumphant roar of victory, the cheers of soldiers filling the air.

Filled with adrenaline and ego, he picked up your limp body in his hand, dangling your body over his already opened mouth.

He was going to eat the Warhammer—right here, right now.

That is, until a foreboding cracking noise brought his attention away from you. It took a few seconds for him to locate the source. The Colossal Titan.

It’s bones snapped and ground against one another, it’s massive body slowly shifting like a collapsing skyscraper. It twisted, turned, and groaned until it slowly lost it’s iron grip on the wall—and it was heading straight for Eren.

It’s body collided with Eren, and the force of the impact was comparable to that of an earthquake. Smoke rose from the ground as dirt was upended, trees crackling and snapping as chunks of rock flew up and around from the impact area.

The force of the impact sent you flying through the air. It didn’t take any hesitation, though, for your girlfriend to go flying through the air, catching your bloody body in her arms and wrapping herself around you to keep you safe as she hit the ground and slid against the dirt.

She groaned audibly from the pain, gritting her teeth in a feeble attempt to numb the painful sensations. But, her pain suddenly subsided when she laid eyes on you.

Your lower half had been all but obliterated. Your legs were completely crushed and squeezed out like an old container of toothpaste, and blood gushed from your stomach. She tried in vain to ignore the sight of your snapped bones twisting at odd angles and protruding through your skin.

Panicked, she brought an ear to your chest, desperately searching for that steady rhythm of life beating in your chest.

She had never taken a deeper sigh of relief than she did now, overjoyed at the slow heartbeat you clung onto. It was weak, yes, but you were still here. With her. That’s all that mattered.

Steam slowly rose from your stomach as your body attempted to heal your wounds. Even in a situation like this, your body managed to find the strength to start recovering.

She cradled your body to her chest, sobbing out in both relief and distress as you bled out onto her. Her clothes were already stained red, and her hands were sticky with morbid crimson, but she didn’t care. She held you close, as close as you could possibly be without her physically crushing you, catching her breath and calming herself to the sound of your shallow breaths.

It was a short-lived moment, though, as a dark shadow suddenly covered the ground, and Sasha froze with fear with you in her arms. By the shadow alone, it was impossible to tell if it was Eren or Reiner, and she didn’t want to check. She curled around you, crying quietly in preparation of getting crushed.

But it didn’t happen. A large finger instead placed itself on Sasha’s shoulder, pushing her out of the way to observe your injured state. Her body trembled fearfully as she turned to face it, and was met with the Armored Titan.

She wasn’t sure what to expect next, really. It could’ve crushed her like an ant and ran away with you, or worse, separated her and run off with just you.

She didn’t want to be apart from you. Even if it made her a terrible soldier, even if it made her treasonous, dishonorable, and irredeemable, she would stick with you, no matter whose side you were on. Right or wrong, she was staying with you.

Reiner hesitated for a moment. He couldn’t just bring a Paradis soldier back, it would be a huge problem down the line. But, his eyes glanced to you. He was certain that if he left Sasha there without you, you would never have forgiven him.

So, he cut his losses and gently scooped the two of you up in his hand, holding you and her close to his chest as he started running—god knows where to. She caught a glimpse of a Bertholdt in his other hand, as well as Ymir, still unconscious and strapped to her stretcher.

And Eren. Somehow, Reiner had the severely injured and incapacitated shifter quite literally in the palm of his hand.

Sasha knew that once people slowly started waking up, the fighting would only continue, but she savored this moment. Even if you were bleeding and hurt, your face looked peaceful. As odd as it sounded, she felt content with you in this moment.

As Reiner ran further and further from the wall, Sasha glanced over his shoulder, watching as the faces of her former comrades as they faded into the background.

I wish somebody cared for me the way Sasha cares about Y/n in this fic lmaooo

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #sasha braus #sasha blouse #sasha x reader #sasha braus x reader #sasha blouse x reader #angst

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rafael-silva · 3 years

Text

under the sky and stars: a tarlos fic

When Carlos and TK take a weekend off to go camping, the last thing they were prepared for was their mini vacation getting cut short by the untimely activation of what’s said to be TK’s danger magnet.

What starts as a peaceful day is turned on its head when TK is hurt during their hike. Cut off from help and with no cell service, Carlos and TK work together to keep the younger man awake and getting the injury under control. They lean on one another, sharing memories, voicing confessions and finding comfort within each other along the way.

for bad things happen bingo: tarlos + cauterizing a wound

hurt tk strand, worried carlos reyes, major character injury, whump, angst, hurt/comfort, emotional/hurt comfort, injury description, softness, kisses, comfort

11.1k | rated T | on ao3

*****

Because, well, camping in the middle of nature, miles away from the city and with fluctuating cell service…what could possibly go wrong?

This particular camping spot was near and dear to Carlos, one of his all-time favorite locations. He’s frequently visited this very spot countless times with his family growing up, setting up their tents together, Carlos and his sisters looking for firewood while hiking and then building the bonfire, laughing and creating many memories along the way.

It had been a while since Carlos went camping there, mostly due to his busy schedule, juggling hectic shifts and long days, along with some days off, so he can spend as much time with TK as possible.

And once he was reminded of that spot by the memories feature from his photos app, popping up a selfie of the Reyes family from a few years prior on a hike, a thought crossed his mind. A very good thought. And he suddenly couldn’t contain his excitement at the possibility lingering in his mind.

He and TK were cuddling on the couch after a mutual exhausting never-ending day, both of them stumbling into their home within ten minutes of each other, weary to theirs bones. After a quick shared shower, they settled on the couch and into each other’s arms, drawing comfort from one another and watched a movie in comfortable silence.

“Have you gone camping before?” Carlos’s voice sliced through the quiet, his tone soft.

TK takes a moment to think, revisiting his own memories before nodding. “Yeah, a couple of times. When I was younger though, went camping in Upstate New York, once with mom and dad and the other time with just dad,” he replied, slightly intrigued by Carlos’s somewhat random question.

“So, there’s this camping spot,” Carlos had started explaining, running a hand up and down TK’s arm. “I used to go there all the time with my parents and sisters, especially growing up. It was kind of our safe haven, it had quickly became our spot and I was thinking that we could go camping there one weekend. I’d love to show it to you and share it with you,” he expressed.

TK moved so he’d face Carlos instead of having his back against the offer’s chest, and there was much emotion written in his features, his green eyes glued to Carlos’s brown ones.

“That place means a lot to me, and you mean so much to me, TK,” Carlos added. “It’s part of who I am, and I want to share everything that I am with you.”

TK’s eyes remained on Carlos, his expression soft.

“Of course, if you’d want to go camping, that is.”

TK lightly chuckled, nodding and moved closer to Carlos. “I’d love to. I mean, I’m not really big on camping, just because it wasn’t super easy to do while living in the city, but I’d do anything with you. Even if we were going to a random spot, I know I’ll love it. And the fact that that spot means so much to you, of course I’d go with you. I look forward to getting to know that side of you, Carlos Reyes.”

Carlos’s face had broken into a big, bright smile, his eyes twinkling. He returned the tender kiss TK brushes to his lips and leans into the paramedic’s touch when TK cupped Carlos’s cheek.

“Besides,” TK began with they separated, “one of us should know what they’re doing when it comes to camping.”

Carlos had nodded, agreeing. “Plus, we’ve both been working so much and so hard lately, I feel like we’re running on fumes and a break could really help us. And nature is a great healer.”

“Nature and love,” TK added before giving Carlos another kiss.

After managing to take the same weekend off, and Carlos calling his father asking to borrow his truck for the trip, Carlos and TK make a list of everything they need for the three days. They split it between them and each get what they’re responsible for by the agreed time.

The weekend approaches quickly to both their delight and that’s when Carlos and TK find themselves on the road, TK’s road trip playlist blasting through the speakers as Austin disappears in the rearview mirror.

And Carlos, Carlos smiles, stealing a quick glance at TK when they stop at a red light. The younger man is so at ease, leaning back against the headrest and Carlos’s heart swells with even more love for him. TK turns to look at Carlos, an identical smile on his face.

Excitement sizzles in Carlos’s stomach at the thought of creating even more memories with TK during this trip, and at one of his favorite places, too. He already starts to feel better, feeling the tension leave his body. Both he and TK had been looking forward to getting some peace, to recharge their energies and to spend more quality time together.

But TK’s said danger magnet was waiting in the corner, getting ready to strike and to throw them both a painful and unexpected curveball.

They arrive at the camping spot a couple of hours later. Carlos parks the truck at the end of the trail and switches off the ignition, excited to be back to this spot. It’s so beautiful that TK pauses his movement to get out of the car, looking through the window and taking it all in.

Carlos hops out, closing the door behind him and stretches his muscles. Their early start had been in their favor, the sun still hanging high in the sky above them, which tells Carlos they’ll have time to set everything up and walk around for a while before it gets dark, too.

TK follows Carlos, gazing around and the amount of green merging with the blue of the sky and the birds twittering around them takes his breath away.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Carlos says, standing by TK’s side.

TK nods. “Absolutely breathtaking.”

“Come on,” Carlos takes TK’s hand and begins walking further into the tree line. “It’s on foot from here, but it’s not too far in. But be careful,” he warns. “Some of the ground is really slippery and there are a lot of hills. Took a tumble once and sprained my ankle, I do not recommend the experience.”

TK tightens his hold on Carlos’s hand as he leads them through bushes, branches and tree barks, closely following Carlos’s trail.

After about an eight minute walk, they reach a clearing with even, dry ground and large open space.

“Here we are,” Carlos announces.

“Wow,” TK says, tilting his head upwards to look at the tall trees above them. They cast a shadow down at the campsite, but don’t completely obscure the sun, its golden light shining through the branches.

TK can feel the history here, the years it took for these tree to grow and flourish like this, and for the first time, he feels one with nature and he welcomes it. He closes his eyes, the soft wind colliding with his face and he draws in a deep breath, relishing in the fresh, clear air.

“It’s like all your worries wash away when you’re here,” Carlos’s voice brings TK back from his thoughts.

“I feel lighter already,” TK agrees.

But the spell is broken when TK groans and shoos away a mosquito. And Carlos mirrors him when he hears buzzing near his ear.

“Bug spray is in the bag, let’s get everything set up and we can walk around for a bit,” Carlos says.

After sending off texts to their parents that they’ve safely arrived (which had taken some time while they searched for a spot with sufficient cell service), it takes Carlos and TK two trips to bring everything they need from the truck to the campsite. They start with setting up the tent in the middle, and TK being completely out of his zone here, helps when Carlos asks, doing exactly what the officer tells him. Carlos is an expert as he works, his muscles and mind working together, knowing exactly what to do and what goes where, not missing a beat. The tent is set up in record time (based on TK’s knowledge and how often people say it takes forever to set up a tent) and TK wears an impressed expression.

Carlos chuckles at the look on TK’s face. “Learned to set it up during the summer I was fourteen. My father had told me and my sisters that we were setting up our own tents that time. It wasn’t easy, it took a lot of time and more than a few collapses, but eventually, the tent held.”

“Well, practice makes perfect,” TK smiles, planting a kiss to Carlos’s cheek.

“And sweat, a lot of sweat,” Carlos adds.

TK chuckles, opening their cooler and takes hold of Carlos’s reusable water bottle, handing it to him.

“Thank you,” Carlos gratefully accepts the bottle and takes a long swing of the cold water.

They move around in unison, TK retrieving the sleeping bag and undoing the zipper so it’s flat and lays it on the ground inside the tent then covers it with their duvet and places their pillows at the head of the tent.

Outside, Carlos arranges their sitting area, gathering the blankets that have been designated for camping. His mother had left them at his place a couple of years back, for whenever he’d take solo trips. He spreads the blankets around where the fire would be built then grabs the foldable chairs, arranging them behind the blankets.

“We have enough time for a walk before it gets dark,” Carlos says when TK emerges from the tent. “Everything else can be set up when we’re back, and we’ll get wood for the fire, too.”

TK nods. “Sounds wonderful, babe.”

Carlos grabs his compass and map, pocketing both for when he’ll need them and takes TK’s hand, and together, they stride into the endless greenery.

*****

The sun is setting when they return to the campsite, each of them carrying an armful of wood.

“These should last until tomorrow,” Carlos says, dropping the logs near the place for the fire.

TK does the same and awaits Carlos’s instructions.

Carlos kneels down and starts arranging the logs then looks up at TK. “Can you grab me the lighter fluid and matches?”

TK nods and goes to retrieve the items. A chill is starting to set in the air around them at the loss of the sun’s warmth and TK can’t wait to get cozy by the fire. He also grabs his hoodie while he’s at it.

He hands Carlos the medium sized bottle of lighter fluid and watches as his boyfriend pours some over the wood. Once he’s closing the bottle, TK lights a match and drops it over the fluid, the fire immediately igniting.

He slips on his hoodie and settles on one of the blankets, looking over his shoulder at Carlos when he hears rummaging from behind.

He smiles when Carlos shows him the bag of marshmallows and wiggles his eyebrows.

“Camping just isn’t proper camping with marshmallows,” Carlos declares as he sits next to TK, the bag in one hand and slim wooden sticks in the other.

He hands TK the bag, who promptly opens it and accepts a stick from Carlos. They both sear a marshmallow through their sticks and hold it over the open fire.

“Now, there’s an art to roasting marshmallows,” Carlos starts. “To get it crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. You can’t hold it too close to the flame and you have to keep rotating it so its evenly roasted.”

TK nods and does his best, but he pouts when the marshmallow completely burns.

“It’s okay, baby, it takes a few tries to get it right,” Carlos reassures him.

TK eats the burnt marshmallow and shrugs. “Soft on the inside though. Well, more like melty. And hot!”

TK tries again and again, and when his fifth marshmallow is still burnt (not as badly as the first one, but still burnt nonetheless), he shakes his head and laughs.

“And I thought I’d be good at this because I used to roast them over the stove growing up,” TK sighs.

Carlos’s eyebrows travel up his forehead and he’s shaking his head. “Not the same as roasting them over a campfire, definitely not the same,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, I’m learning that the hard way,” TK dramatically sighs again.

“Here,” Carlos hands TK his own stick with a perfectly roasted marshmallow. “You should have at least one that’s properly roasted.”

TK lightly elbows Carlos in the stomach and playfully rolls his eyes. “Okay, this is amazing,” he admits after eating the marshmallow.

Carlos smirks. “Besides, like you said earlier, practice makes perfect. So I guess we have no other option than going camping a lot so you can perfect your marshmallow roasting technique.”

“Hmm,” TK hums as he moves his face closer to Carlos’s. “Yeah, I guess that’s our only option,” he whispers.

Carlos smiles as he closes the small distance between them by capturing TK’s lips in a deep, passionate kiss. Carlos tastes a mix of TK and burnt marshmallows, and the combination makes his heart jump in his chest with joy; further proof that Carlos isn’t dreaming, they’re here, together in one of Carlos’s favorite places on the planet. TK easily opens to him and they pour into each other. TK’s free hand goes to the back of Carlos’s head as Carlos’s goes to hold TK’s face.

The kiss slows down, turning into a simple press of lips and they start exchanging small, chaste kisses before separating to catch their breath. They don’t pull back completely though as Carlos rests his forehead against TK’s.

They’re lying on the blanket a little while later, TK cuddled to Carlos’s side, after it was agreed that they’d had enough marshmallows for the time being. Otherwise, they’d get a sugar rush and neither wanted to experience the crash from that. Besides, they still hadn’t eaten the dinner they packed for the night.

Carlos had grabbed his zip up hoodie and slipped it on before lying down, the wind picking up a little and a shiver ran through his body. Once they’re both warm, both by clothes and each other’s presence, silence falls onto them, the leaves rustling around them the only sound as they watch the stars glitter above, vivid against the endless black sky.

“You can never see the stars this clearly in the city,” TK says in a quiet voice.

Carlos nods, not entirely sure if TK means New York or Austin, but he supposes both, because it’s true either way. He had heard about the light pollution in New York and how it obscures the night sky and its beauty, and from his experience living in Austin, the same can be said for the Texan city.

“There’s beauty in every direction you look here, it’s all encompassing. Left, right, up, down…you’re surrounded by it, you’re a part of it. There’s a lake this way,” Carlos points to their left, turning to face TK. “Me and my sisters used to go swimming there, the water is so blue and so clear and it’s the perfect temperature. We can take a dip before leaving, if you want.”

“Oh, but I don’t have my swimming suit,” TK points out.

Carlos doesn’t reply, instead he lifts a suggestive eyebrow as a smirk tugs on his lips.

“Ohhhh,” TK catches on to where Carlos’s head is at, and a blush paints his cheeks.

The nearby fire dances, the flames coloring TK’s skin golden and bringing out the green in his eyes. Carlos winks and the light pink rises up his boyfriend’s face and TK’s lips spread into a soft smile.

“Well, then, I couldn’t refuse that now, could I?” TK wiggles his eyebrows and moves closer to Carlos.

The beauty of the stars is momentarily forgotten as Carlos watches TK, getting lost in his features, taking it all in even though he can draw every detail in his sleep. He feels his heart grow in his chest with the amount of love he feels for the other man, gazing through green gates and into his soul, he’d willingly get lost in those irises for days.

Without a word, Carlos leans in and captures TK’s lips in a soaring kiss, giving TK his all and gladly receiving TK’s as the paramedic wastes no time in reciprocating.

“I’d come here alone, sometimes,” Carlos voices a few minutes after they return to their previous position. “When I was older. Sometimes my family would be busy and wouldn’t be able to make the trip, other times it was unplanned. I’d need to get away for a few days, and I’d find myself here. When things would get hard or overwhelming, this place was always there for me. This place offered me a lot of clarity over the years, opened my eyes to many things. Helped me dig deep into myself and really know who I am. Because here, in the middle of all this beautiful nature, that wasn’t so scary. It was almost like nature was telling me that it’s okay, that whatever happens, it’s all going to be okay, that it’s all just that, natural and organic. And eventually, whenever I needed to make a decision or when I just needed to think, I’d come here.”

TK waits a beat, fingers fidgeting with the zipper of Carlos’s hoodie and then asks a question. “Did you ever come here to find clarity about…me? Or us?”

Carlos is silent for a few moments before nodding. “Yeah, after you got shot,” he swallows, his mind taking him back to that horrific week.

He tightens his hold on TK, unconsciously needing to know that TK is okay, that he’s with him, right here, right now.

Then something clicks in TK’s mind. “When you texted me that you were leaving town for a couple of days, you came here.”

Carlos nods. He had sent that text a week after TK was out of the hospital and recovering at home. He had seen him a couple of times since his discharge, each time his emotions and feelings towards TK growing and bubbling more in his chest. And after making sure TK was really okay and was taken care of by his team, he had decided a trip was needed.

Falling for TK was unexpected, it had taken him by surprise and so did the amount of feelings he’d quickly developed for the other man. He needed to gather his thoughts and to process it all. He thinks back to those couple of days, pacing the ground for what seemed like hours, his mind going in a million different directions. It’s only when he sat down and looked up at this very sky, that he really started seeing everything, truly seeing.

Carlos draws in a deep breath before continuing, looking up at the sky now. “Like I told you that day at the juice bar, seeing you in that hospital bed was very hard, and all these strong feelings I had for you, they really took me over. I’d been out of the dating game for so long when I met you, and I never expected to fall for you as quickly as I did. And although I had felt it blossoming in the days and weeks before you got hurt, I truly realized just how much I felt for you when I found out you got shot. And then when I saw you lying in that hospital bed, that feeling of my heart dropping into my stomach and that pang in my chest,” he pauses, “…it scared me, the strength of the feelings scared me, the thought of losing you and losing everything we could be before we even truly began terrified me,” his voice breaks a little with the last few words.

TK finds Carlos’s hand and gives it a light squeeze.

Carlos recovers and continues. “And then you woke up and got sent home and every time I saw you, the feelings just grew and grew and there was no stopping it, not that I wanted to stop it. But I still didn’t know what we were, and I didn’t want to push you, knowing what you had gone through. I guess I just needed to process it all, it had all jumbled together and I needed to untangle it. So I came here, because this place always helps with that.”

“And what did you realize?” TK carefully asks.

Carlos turns his head once more so he’s looking at TK. “What I knew was true all along, that what I felt for you, all those feelings, all that love, was natural and organic. Cosmic, even. I realized it came from the deepest of places, the brightest and purest of places, it came from the soul, from the bottom of the heart. And that realization felt right, it felt good. I remember smiling then because I felt lighter, I felt like that realization breathed fresh air into my lungs. And I wasn’t scared anymore. I was hopeful. I knew this love was worth fighting for.”

TK is quiet for a while, letting everything Carlos said sink in, and the flickering flames reveal the unshed tears swimming in his eyes. Carlos’s words had been so honest, so vulnerable and it moves TK, fills him with even more love for Carlos.

“So, in a way, this place had brought us together,” TK expresses.

Carlos nods. “Which is one of the reasons I wanted to bring you here.”

“It really means everything, you sharing this place with me,” TK runs his thumb over Carlos’s knuckles. “I also realized what I had known all along that day of the solar storm, after the bus rescue and on the way to the hospital. I was scared, too. Getting into something and starting a relationship was the last thing on my mind when I got to Austin, but that connection to you, that pull between us, it felt right from the very start. I resisted it, though, I did, because I was still dealing with everything that happened in New York. But that day, I realized I wanted to deal with everything with you, with you by my side. I was learning to stand again, I knew that was something I had to do on my own but I wanted you to be there for me to lean on when I needed it. You gave me strength, Carlos, every day, and you continue to. You brought color back into my life and I knew then I wasn’t scared anymore. And you’re right, our love is cosmic and worth fighting for. It’s always under the sky and stars.”

Thinking back to that night, lying on the hood of the Camaro under the Northern Lights, the moment they really gave them a chance and started the journey of everything they would become together, TK smiles.

Carlos makes the connection, as well, mirroring the soft smile. “The sky and stars really do have a way of bringing us closer. Our love being cosmic sounds particularly appropriate.”

A gentle kiss is shared as they move even closer together, gravitating towards each other, always in each other’s orbit.

The tent goes forgotten as they fall asleep under the stars, wrapped in each other’s embrace, blanketed by the comfort of their love.

*****

If TK is distracted by watching Carlos, who’s wearing a tank top and sweat shorts, stride around the campsite while he gets their breakfast ready, well, who can blame him? TK’s eyes find themselves glued to Carlos’s biceps and the way his muscles contract and move under his skin, making TK miss the words Carlos is directing at him.

Carlos pauses, lifting an eyebrow. “TK? Earth to TK?”

“Hm?” TK snaps out of his trance and eyes go to Carlos’s face, which is just as captivating.

Carlos chuckles lightly. “Welcome back.” Then he’s smirking. “Like what you see?”

He gets it, though, knows the power of the tank top. Because he, too, loves it when TK wears his own tank tops, and Carlos finds himself in the same position TK was just in.

A blush crawls up TK’s neck and face as he bites down on his low lip, his eyes roaming over Carlos’s majestic form. He nods after a few moments.

“You’ll do,” TK playfully teases.

“Oh, is that it? I’ll do?” Carlos whispers, his tone a little heavy and low as he takes tentative steps towards his boyfriend, the smirk still drawn on his face.

“Yeah,” TK nods again, his eyes not leaving Carlos’s.

TK smiles against Carlos’s lips when the officer leans in for a kiss and returns it, his body filling up with warmth at their contact.

“Come on,” Carlos says when they pull apart. “We gotta have a good breakfast because we have some exploration ahead of us today. And other activities, too,” Carlos lifts an eyebrow and winks at TK.

They keep up their flirting and playful banter throughout breakfast, and once they’re finished and Carlos had gathered the stuff they’ll need and packed it into his backpack, they start their journey into the woods, Carlos leading with TK close behind.

The first couple of hours go by smoothly. Carlos shows TK a few of the spots he would frequent when he’d visit here, telling him stories along the way and sharing the memories he’s built with his family. He snaps pictures of TK here and there, some while he wasn’t looking, others with TK posing along with a bunch of selfies of them wearing big smiles.

They come to rest at a clearing, deciding to take a break before continuing their hike. Carlos finds a large rock to sit on, taking a few sips of water before his eyes find TK. The other man is roaming around, looking up at the trees and taking it all in. He comes to a halt on an elevation, looking into the distance and doesn’t realize he’s right on the edge of a hill.

Carlos’s face falls a little when he notices where TK’s standing, and he’s about to tell him to take a few steps back when TK himself turns around and starts to move towards him.

Carlos’s newfound relief lasts for only a brief second as he watches TK stumble. He quickly gets to his feet, moving to help steady TK while a little voice at the back of his head supplies slippery mud, but it’s too late.

For a moment it feels like an out of body experience and in an instant, he’s running to TK. It takes a second, but before he reaches him, TK looses his balance and falls, Carlos’s eyes going wide and his heart drops into his knees as it happens.

Carlos freezes, arms stretched out, heart hammering and eyes glued to the space TK occupied a second ago. He was right there, within his reach and then he wasn’t.

The image of the panicked look on TK’s face and his green eyes blown wide with fear will forever be etched in Carlos’s mind.

He swallows and finds himself at the edge a moment later as he looks down. It’s a nasty fall, even though it’s not a drop but a slope, the steep angle surely would have increased TK’s speed as he rolled downhill. The area it’s littered with rocks of all sizes, and TK’s body would most definitely be bruised and battered by the impact against them.

Carlos yells out when he finds his voice. “TK! TK! Hang on! I’m coming for you!”

The panic in his gut starts brewing even more at the lack of a response from TK.

Carlos weighs his options, and a quick survey tells him there’s no other way to get to TK except down this slope. He takes a deep breath and very carefully starts making his way towards where he’ll find TK.

He almost slips a few times during his descend, tree leaves crunching under his hiking boots and his feet sinking into piles of leaves and small bushes. He keeps calling out for TK on his way down, still getting no reply from the other man. Carlos tells himself he has to get a hold on the panic rising in his body, he feels his hands begin to shake and wills them to steady. He needs to be composed to help TK, to get him out of this. TK is relying on him.

That knowledge gives Carlos the strength he needs and he gathers himself, letting out a small sigh of relief when the ground appears to even out before him.

Then his eyes land on TK, who’s sprawled out on his side, his back to Carlos. And he isn’t moving. And Carlos can’t tell if he’s breathing from this angle.

Carlos’s legs move on their own accord and he’s sprinting towards TK, dropping to his knees next to him. His eyes run over TK’s face and head, where he finds a cut under his hairline that’s oozing blood down his face, and his usually neat hair is filled with torn leaves and covered in dust. He watches TK’s chest closely next, and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he spots the rise and fall there, although shallower and shorter than he’d like, but TK is breathing.

“TK? TK, babe, can you hear me?” Carlos speaks, his voice coated with worry.

With TK still unconscious, Carlos starts doing what he could: check TK over for any visible injuries on the rest of his body.

And he most definitely was not prepared for what he found. He couldn’t stop the sharp gasp that tears from his throat when his eyes land on a large, jagged open wound on TK’s right thigh. There’s blood gushing down his leg and dripping into a puddle beneath the paramedic, a stark crimson staining the rock below.

“Shit, shit,” Carlos mumbles and breaks himself out of his haze.

He knows he shouldn’t move TK until he’s sure there’s no spinal damage, but he also needs to apply pressure in hopes of slowing down the bleeding and the only way to effectively do that is to have TK lying on his back.

Knowing it’s his only option and the best chance TK has in this moment, Carlos very gently and carefully, while supporting TK’s body and carrying his weight, repositions TK and then clamps both hands over the wound and pushes down as hard as he can, putting all his weight into it as he prays that it isn’t the day he loses the love of his life.

He knows deep down it won’t do much good because he can already feel the blood seeping through his fingers. TK’s blood. Carlos’s stomach churns in an unnatural way and he has to squeeze his eyes shut and attempts to get his irregular breathing under control.

It seems, however, that the pressure does achieve something because Carlos is quickly opening his eyes when he hears a sharp painful gasp. The adrenaline, that same small voice at the back of his head supplies once more.

TK is haphazardly moving his head from side to side, eyebrows knitted together with confusion. Carlos easily finds TK’s wide eyes, filled to the brim with panic and fear and does his best in comforting and calming his boyfriend.

“TK, TK, hey, hey, look at me, look at me,” Carlos guides, trying to get TK’s attention.

The erratic movements eventually slow and TK focuses on Carlos through his blurry vision, tears springing into his eyes. He blinks a few times, trying to clear his line of sight sending a couple of tears down the sides of his face.

“Carlos…” TK whimpers through clenched teeth, reaching out for his boyfriend and closing his fist around the material of Carlos’s tank top, holding on with all the strength he could muster.

“I’m right here, baby, right here,” Carlos is quick to reassure him. “Stay with me, TK, hang on.”

“What…what happened?” TK asks when he gathers his breath.

“You fell down a hill, probably slipped on some mud and lost your balance. You were unconscious when I found you and you have a cut on your head and I think you could have a concussion. Can you wiggle your toes?”

After a moment, TK nods, knowing why Carlos is asking.

“Okay, good. But…”

“But?” TK questions and manages to lift himself to look at where Carlos’s eyes had landed.

TK gulps, seeing the wound and the alarming among of blood he had already lost and tries to keep the sizzling panic at bay. He knows panicking won’t help, that he needs to remain calm.

TK groans, pain flaring through his leg and making him a little dizzy.

“I think a piece of wood punctured your thigh and then broke away. I’ve been trying to slow the bleeding but it’s not working very well,” he explains, his voice filled with the panic he’s trying to suppress.

TK is silent for a few moments and Carlos fears he fell back into unconsciousness. But then TK is speaking, clearly having slipped into paramedic mode in those few seconds.

“Okay, we need to make a tourniquet, hopefully that will help slow the bleeding until we get help,” TK says.

Carlos nods, thinking back to what they have in their backpack. His heart drops some more when he realizes they don’t have anything for a tourniquet. Besides, the backpack is up that hill and there’s no way Carlos is leaving TK alone.

Making up his mind, Carlos takes off his tank top and looks to TK for instructions on what to do next.

TK frowns. “What…”

“This is everything we’ve got.”

TK nods, no time or energy for arguing. He already feels weaker and his head is starting to spin. But he evens his labored breathing, not only trying to access his own body for internal injuries but also to be able to properly tell Carlos what to do. He’s not alone, Carlos is here, and they can do this, together.

“Okay, you need to find a strong stick, it needs to be thick so it doesn’t break when it’s twisted to tighten the tourniquet,” TK tells Carlos.

Finding a stick in the woods, should be simple enough, Carlos thinks as he looks around, still in his position and applying pressure to TK’s thigh. Once he spots a stick that could work, he takes hold of TK’s hands and guides them to the wound, pushing them down there.

“I need you to hold pressure while I do this, TK. Can you do that for me?” Carlos asks and once he’s sure TK has complied, he moves to retrieve the stick.

TK gives it his all. He’s scared, and he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want to bleed out on this hill in the middle of the woods. He doesn’t want Carlos to have to watch it happen. He doesn’t want to ruin what this place means to Carlos. He doesn’t want to miss out on spending the rest of his life with Carlos. So he fights against the darkness creeping at him from the corners of his eyes and gives it everything he’s got.

But he’s tired, he’s so tired, and his hands momentarily stop working. But a voice reminds him to stay awake, stay awake…

Carlos can tell, that as expected, TK’s strength is faltering by the way more blood is running free down the paramedic’s injured leg. So he does his best to keep TK awake and talking until the tourniquet can take over in controlling the bleeding.

“Hey, TK, stay with me,” Carlos pleads. “Tell me, what’s next?”

TK nods. “Loop…loop the shirt above the wound and then place the stick over the loop and tie a knot,” his voice trails off.

Carlos follows TK’s instructions, his hands working quickly to do as TK says.

“Then…rotate it and the knot is going to tighten,” TK continues using a shaky breath. “It should help control the bleeding.”

“Okay, you ready?” Carlos asks, his worry filled eyes moving to TK’s face, knowing how much tourniquets hurt when they’re applied.

TK draws in a breath and nods.

“Okay, here we go,” Carlos starts twisting the stick and his heart clenches and shatters some more at hearing the throaty and pained moans that TK lets out.

The younger man’s eyes are squeezed shut, face crunching up in agony as the groans keep spilling from his mouth.

It works, and Carlos can see the bleeding is substantially slowing down.

“It’s working, it’s working,” Carlos sighs, closing his eyes for a few moments and taking in a deep breath, his shoulders slumping forward.

And now it’s time to figure out where they ended up and how to get back to the campsite, into the truck and to the hospital as fast as they can. Carlos knows the tourniquet isn’t a permanent solution and he’s worried about infection setting in.

He fishes his phone from his pocket and prays for even one bar of service, but disappointment settles in his stomach at the words no service glaring at him from the top of his screen.

He sighs, turning back to TK.

“Hey, TK, still with me, baby?”

TK gives him a weak nod.

“Listen, I have to go back up to get the backpack, you need to hydrate and the map and compass will help us get back to camp,” Carlos explains, hating that he has to leave TK. “I need you to keep holding the tourniquet in place, to make sure it doesn’t get undone. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“Be…careful,” TK replies, closing his hand over the stick when Carlos places it there.

“I will be,” Carlos responds and leans down to brush a kiss to TK’s forehead.

It takes every inch of strength Carlos has to pull away.

“I’ll be right back, baby.”

Carlos rushes back up the hill, trying to be as quick but as efficient and safe as he possibly can, not wanting to leave TK alone for long. He faces some difficulty climbing up but manages to avoid slips and falls.

He’s panting when he finally makes it to the top, grabbing a hold of the backpack and then stops for a second. He pulls his phone out again, praying for service and rejoices at the one bar of service he finds.

He puts the phone to his ear and his heart thumps in his chest as he waits for it to connect. After what feels like an eternity, it starts ringing, and another lifetime after that, Owen picks up.

“Owen?” Carlos speaks, his voice tight. “Owen, can you hear me?”

“Carlos?” Owen replies but his voice is so far away.

“Owen, we need help,” Carlos continues, praying that Owen can hear him over the line scratching between the words.

“Carlos—you’re breaking—can’t—”

Then the lines goes dead.

A glance at his phone tells Carlos the one much-needed bar of service is gone.

“Damn it,” Carlos growls with frustration, shoving the phone back into his pocket.

He’s back at TK’s side a few minutes later, and finds his boyfriend barely holding onto consciousness.

“Hey, TK, I’m back,” Carlos announces, kneeling next to TK once more.

He notices that TK’s hold on the tourniquet has loosened a bit so he tightens the knot to control the bleeding again and his heart sinks at the almost lack of response from TK.

Shock, that voice in his head speaks again. He needs to get TK out of here right this moment.

“TK, you with me?” Carlos says as he digs out the compass and map.

TK mumbles something in return.

“Good, stay with me, baby. Didn’t I tell you that I don’t recommend tumbling down a hill? You had to go and try it yourself, huh,” he attempts to lighten the mood with their familiar playful banter but doesn’t quite succeed, his voice coated with fear and worry.

“Take it up with that hill,” TK murmurs back.

A short wet chuckle escapes Carlos, at least TK is doing his best to reciprocate. It’s a small victory in the battle to keep TK awake.

Carlos swallows before continuing, “I almost managed to get through to your dad on the phone,” he says, hoping to keep TK engaged until he figures out how to get back to the campsite. “It was only one bar, though, and it cut off before he could properly hear me.”

He feels his own disappointment mirrored back at him from TK when the younger man frowns.

“Okay,” Carlos nods, getting their bearings and finding the direction they need to move in. “We need to head west, and if we stay on this trail, it should lead us back to camp.”

Carlos moves so he’s behind TK to help him sit up. He places his hands below TK’s shoulders and very slowly and gently starts pushing him up. TK tries his best to help with his weight, but it’s no use, all his energy has been drained. With a hand still steading TK, Carlos reaches his other into the backpack and pulls out a water bottle.

“Here, you need to drink,” he hands it to TK.

TK accepts it with shaky hands and lifts the bottle to his mouth after popping the cap open, taking a few short sips.

“Ready to get up?”

“I’ll try,” TK replies, his voice hoarse.

“I got you,” Carlos promises.

Looping TK’s arm around his shoulder for a better hold on him, Carlos pushes himself up, taking TK with him. TK groans as soon as he’s standing still, closing his eyes as a wave of dizziness takes over and pain starts pulsing up and down his injured leg.

“No, no,” TK shakes his head. “It hurts.”

Carlos glances down and curses. Just the mere movement of TK standing up has caused more blood to pour out of his wound, and he knows more movement will dislodge the tourniquet even more.

Carlos shoulders the bag and then wraps an arm around TK’s waist, pulling him towards him.

“TK, I’m gonna need you to put all your weight on me, and absolutely no weight on that leg, okay? I’m going to get you out of here.”

TK distributes his weight on his good leg and on Carlos, dragging his injured leg as he pretty much hops along the way Carlos leads them.

“We’re not that far from camp,” Carlos pants. “I’ll carry you there if I have to.”

And he does. As soon as TK grows even weaker in Carlos’s grip around the halfway mark, the younger man’s muscles deflating, he does exactly that and carries TK the rest of the way.

Once they finally arrive at the site, Carlos carefully lowers TK down on a blanket near the extinguished campfire. He’s about to move to collect their important things when TK’s hand wraps around his wrist and stops him.

“Carlos,” TK heaves. “Carlos, we…we have to stop the bleeding.”

“The tourniquet is in place, I’ll make sure it stays that way…”

But TK is shaking his head. “It didn’t completely stop the blood, even when it was first applied,” he swallows. “Movement will cause more bleeding…and already lost too much blood…nearest hospital is a few hours away, can’t wait.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” Carlos asks, the panic in his voice breaking through.

TK takes a deep breath before answering. “Cauterize it.”

It takes a moment for that to sink in and then Carlos’s eyes are going wide. “What? You mean, you want…”

“Need. I need you to do it, babe.”

“What? No, no, TK, I can’t—I can’t do that,” Carlos vigorously shakes his head, eyebrows drawn together. “There has to be something else, another way—”

“There isn’t,” TK matter of factly responds. “That is the only way.”

“No, TK, I…” Carlos’s voice breaks.

“Hey, hey,” TK reaches his arm out to Carlos. “It’s gonna be okay, I’ll talk you through it.”

Carlos moves so he’s in TK’s reach and takes his hand. He knows there’s no time to argue—that there’s no need to argue. He has to do this to save TK. TK trusts him and needs him to do this. And even though Carlos is scared out of his skin, he knows what needs to be done. Knows TK needs him now more than ever. He pushes his fear down and wills his heart to calm, ready to do whatever it takes to save the man who has saved him.

Carlos takes a deep breath and nods, sniffing. “What do you need me to do?”

“Need to get the fire going and grab one of the kitchen knives we packed…”

*****

TK slumps backwards, working on catching his breath as his hands go to wipe the tears that had streaked down his face during the agonizing procedure. Carlos is almost done wrapping TK’s thigh with a sterile bandage from the first aid kit after cauterizing it. TK feels Carlos’s lips against his forehead a few moments later.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Carlos whispers against TK’s skin, heart in pieces at the pain TK had just gone through.

“You did everything right, babe,” TK reassures Carlos with a quivering breath. “I knew it was going to hurt.”

“Here,” Carlos hands TK his water bottle. “Drink some more water while I gather our important things and we’ll be on the road soon.”

“There’s time to pack everything,” TK says. “I’m okay.”

Carlos studies TK for a moment. “Are you sure?”

TK nods.

Carlos throws on the first t-shirt he finds and makes quick work of taking down the tent and gathering their stuff. He haphazardly piles everything into the back of the truck, not bothering to pack anything properly. As long as everything is secure, that will do.

Less than ten minutes later sees Carlos helping TK into the passenger seat then getting into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. He sighs when he sees there’s still no service and TK can read the tension sitting in Carlos’s shoulders and in his squared jaw.

“Carlos, babe, I’m okay, the worst is over,” TK holds Carlos’s hand and gives it a squeeze.

Carlos turns to look at TK, taking in his pale complexion and clammy skin. His expression morphs into one of heartbreak and worry. “You can still get an infection, you could still have a concussion,” his eyes travel to the cut on TK’s head. “And there’s no telling what kind of damage that fall did to you internally.”

“All things we’ll deal with one at a time,” TK says calmly, although he wouldn’t be able to speak any louder even if he wanted to. “Take a breath, baby, it’s okay.”

Carlos takes a few moments to gather himself, preparing himself to drive and getting his nerves under control. Once he’s ready, he shifts the gear into drive and they start moving.

“Just don’t fall asleep on me, okay?” Carlos tells TK, his focus on the road.

“Okay,” TK replies.

“Play music if you want, and can you keep an eye on the service bars? We’ll call your dad first chance we get.”

TK opts to play a calmer playlist than the one they listened to on their way to the campsite. This playlist helps to relax him, which in this situation may not be the best of things, but TK also knows that Carlos needs to relax too, and upbeat and loud music will most definitely have the opposite effect on him. So TK settles for it, and pushes past the wave of sleepiness it cloaks over him.

The world passes by in a blur as TK stares out the window and replies to Carlos when the officer makes sure he’s still awake.

“There’s two bars,” TK says when he checks for service again, immediately calling his dad, his phone connected to the car’s bluetooth.

Owen picks up after a few rings. “TK! It’s good to hear from you, Carlos tried calling a bit ago but we got disconnected.”

It’s Carlos who replies to him. “Owen.”

The fire captain immediately picks up on Carlos’s shaky voice. “Carlos, what’s going on?”

“We’re on the way back, TK got hurt on a hike. He’s doing okay now but we’re going straight to the hospital,” Carlos explains.

Owen draws in a deep breath and needing to hear TK’s voice, he calls for him. “TK, son?”

“Hey, dad,” TK replies weakly. “I’m okay.”

“Everything is going to be fine. Which hospital are you going to and how long until you arrive?”

“West Park Memorial is going to be the closest and we’re about an hour away,” Carlos responds.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there. Be careful on the road, please.”

“Will do,” Carlos promises.

“I’m so tried,” TK mumbles after they hang up with Owen, shifting in his seat.

“I know, baby,” Carlos replies without taking his eyes off the road. “But I need you to stay awake for me, we’re almost there.”

TK manages to stay awake until they’re ten minutes away from their destination. Carlos calls for him but he doesn’t answer, giving into the impending darkness that’s been threatening to take over for hours now.

Carlos feels the panic stirring in his gut when TK doesn’t respond, doesn’t move.

“TK, baby, you gotta stay awake,” Carlos tries with no success. “TK, please,” he then uses a hand to take hold of TK’s and realizes with a pang in his chest that TK’s skin has lost some of its warmth.

“Shit,” Carlos curses, his own body and face heating up. “TK, you have to wake up, babe.”

The following ten minutes were some of the longest of Carlos’s life. The further he drives, the farther the hospital got, or so it seemed. After what felt like three eternities, the hospital finally comes into view and he honks a few times as he drives up the ramp leading to the ER entrance.

A doctor and a couple of nurses emerge with a gurney and Carlos jumps out and moves around the truck to open the passenger door.

“We were camping and he fell down a hill and cut open his thigh, he was losing a lot of blood and the tourniquet wasn’t stopping the bleeding completely. He’s a paramedic with the 126 and said we had to cauterize it so I did,” he explains. “He also might have a concussion from the fall. And he can’t be given opioid-based medication.”

The doctor nods while the nurses lift TK from the car and onto the gurney. “How long ago?”

“A few hours,” Carlos replies. “He lost consciousness about ten minutes ago.”

“Okay, we got him now,” the doctor reassures Carlos while performing initial tests on TK. “I need you to park the truck and then fill out some forms while we run a few tests. I’ll leave word at the ER front desk. What’s his name?”

“TK Strand.”

“He’s in good hands,” she nods before retreating through the sliding doors.

Carlos watches as they wheel TK into the hospital, the doctor giving orders as they moved. He starts to feel his own knees growing weaker as TK disappears down the hall and the doors slide shut. It feels like a part of his heart has just been torn from him.

He repeats he’s going to be okay over and over in his head as he climbs back into the truck and until he’s striding into the ER, a mantra to keep him calm.

“Hi, I was told I need to fill some forms for TK Strand. I just brought him in,” he says to the charge nurse at the front desk.

She nods and hands him a clipboard with a pen attached. “What’s your relation to the patient?”

“He’s my boyfriend,” Carlos replies. “And I’m his emergency contact.”

She gives him a soft smile. “They took him into an exam room to check him over and to run some standard tests. I’ll have someone take you to him once you fill out the forms.”

Carlos nods and begins filling out the empty spaces.

He’s lead to TK ten minutes later, following the nurse to where TK is being examined. She stops in front of a closed door and turns to Carlos.

“He’s right through there, his results should be in soon,” she informs him. “Just press the call button if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Carlos nods and slowly opens the door as she walks away.

And he could cry tears of joy when he’s met with hazy green eyes once he steps into the room.

“Hey, Ty,” Carlos softly breathes, relaxing a little at seeing TK awake.

“Hi, baby,” TK replies, a small smile forming on his face.

Carlos is by TK’s bedside in three strides, taking his boyfriend’s hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.

“I’m glad to see you awake,” Carlos says. “You gave me quite the scare.”

TK winces. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. It’s okay, baby, I’m just worried about you,” Carlos runs his thumb over TK’s skin that thankfully now feels a little warmer than earlier, courtesy of the IV fluids TK’s been given. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, a little out of it and tired, but the fluids are helping,” TK replies.

Carlos’s response to that is interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket.

“Hey, Owen,” Carlos answers.

“Carlos, I tried calling TK but it went to voicemail,” Owen responds.

Carlos can tell that he’s power walking by the way his voice wavers a little. “We forgot it in the car. We’re in the ER.”

“I’m walking in now. Which room are you boys in?”

“Oh,” Carlos pauses, realizing he’s not exactly sure which way he was lead. He must have zoned out then, he thinks. “Um, ask for TK at the front desk, a nurse will show you the way.”

“Okay,” Owen replies. “I’ll be right there.”

The door is pushed open a few minutes later, revealing a worried Owen, his face crunched up in concern. He breaths a sigh of relief when he sees TK awake but his eyes still radiate the fear bubbling in his chest at his son, once again, landing in the hospital.

His eyes move from TK to Carlos as he steps into the room, placing a hand on Carlos’s shoulder and squeezing there before moving to TK’s side.

“Hey, son,” Owen gives him a small smile. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, a little better now,” TK replies after clearing is throat.

Owen’s eyes survey TK, noticing the butterfly bandage on his forehead and then his eyes widen when he spots the bandage on TK’s thigh.

Turning to Carlos, he asks, “what happened?”

“He took a tumble down a hill, he lost his balance, most likely on wet mud. He rolled down and his thigh probably got cut by a wooden stick or log. We tried a tourniquet but it didn’t hold well, so we…” Carlos pauses, his eyes moving to TK then back to Owen. “We had to cauterize it.”

Owen’s eyes go impossibly wide at that, digesting everything Carlos had said. “It was that bad?”

Before Carlos can reply, the door is opened and the doctor walks in.

“Doctor, this is Owen, TK’s father,” Carlos introduces. “I was just telling him what happened.”

Owen extends his arm to shake her hand. “How’s TK doing?”

“As well as expected,” she replies. “Any headache, nausea or double vision, TK?”

“No, just a little hazy and feeling a bit out of it.”

“That’s to be expected, I don’t think you have a concussion but I’m going to take you to get scans on your head and stomach to make sure everything is clear.”

TK is being wheeled out by a couple of nurses a few minutes later, but not before Carlos brushes a kiss to his forehead.

Owen and Carlos are sitting in silence when the officer’s voice cuts through it.

“I’m sorry, this is all my fault,” Carlos sighs, hands fidgeting with each other.

“What are you talking about?” Owen frowns.

“TK’s fall. I know the place, I know how an area can appear stable but it isn’t, I learned that the hard way but I never had a fall this bad. And the blood, he was bleeding so much when I found him and…” Carlos trails off, drawing in a shaky breath. “For a moment, I thought we weren’t getting out of there. For a moment, I thought I was going to lose him.”

“Hey, Carlos, look at me,” Owen says.

Carlos slowly lifts his gaze from the floor to meet Owen’s.

“This wasn’t your fault, this was an accident. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. And you didn’t lose him. You got him out of there.”

“I just keep thinking if I had maybe said something a moment earlier…I wouldn’t have had to…it was so hard to do that. I was terrified,” Carlos admits, remembering how his heart hammered against his ribcage during the procedure. “And seeing the amount of pain TK was in…”

Owen places his hand on the back of Carlos’s neck and gives him a supportive squeeze there.

“Listen to me,” Owen says after a moment. “You did everything you could for TK, you took care of him, you pushed through your fear for him, you got him here…you did everything right,” Owen echos TK’s words. “You saved his life, Carlos.”

Carlos swallows and sniffs. “I’d do anything to make sure he’s okay.”

“I know,” Owen nods. “And I’m so incredibly grateful for that. He’s going to be fine, you both will be.”

Carlos knows there’s more than a few nightmares lingering ahead in the wake of TK’s injury, but as long as they’ve got each other, they will be okay. He just needs to know that the worst is truly over.

TK is brought back into the room twenty minutes later, Carlos and Owen getting to their feet as he’s settled in again by the nurses.

Owen sits on the chair while Carlos sits on the edge of the bed, taking TK’s hand.

“I’m okay,” TK gives his boyfriend and father a smile.

Carlos nods, returning the smile through unshed tears, the weight of his conversation with Owen still heavy on his bones.

The doctor appears half an hour later, holding a few files.

“The good news is that all the scans are clear, no head or internal injuries. But I’d like to admit TK for observation, so we can keep a close look on the wound for a couple of days and watch out for an infection,” she explains.

“Whatever you think is best, doctor,” Owen nods.

“Alright then,” the doctor nods. “I’ll get the paperwork started and have TK moved to a room upstairs shortly.”

TK knows it’s for the best, because he honestly feels like crap and doesn’t want him and Carlos to deal with an infection at home, but he can’t help the groan he pushes out.

“It’s okay, babe,” Carlos reassures him, cupping his cheek. “Just to make sure everything is alright, only for a few days.”

TK nods, leaning into Carlos’s touch, the officer grounding him.

*****

They’re thrown another curveball when TK develops a fever overnight.

A cot was set for Carlos in TK’s room while Owen had gone home, making Carlos promise to call or text if anything changes. The officer was awake when TK’s fever was discovered by a nurse. He had to inform Owen with a hastily sent text while keeping up with what the nurse was saying, writing it out in the message. He watched as the nurse administers antibiotics into TK’s IV line and starts him on some medications to reduce the fever and clear out the infection.

TK stirs in bed, the fever taking a toll on his body and making him uncomfortable. He groans and peels his eyelids open to the sunlight gently streaming in through the blinds.

Turning his head to the side, his momentarily blurry vision clears to reveal Judd in the chair by his bedside.

“Judd,” TK whispers, his voice hoarse.

“Hey, brother,” Judd smiles. “Do you want some water?”

TK nods and takes a few sips out of the straw when Judd holds the cup for him.

“He’s getting coffee,” Judd says without TK needing to ask, knowing what’s on the younger man’s mind by the way his eyes darted around the room. “Looked like he needed it, too.”

TK nods. “When did you get here?”

“A while ago, sat with Carlos for a bit. Your dad called this morning and told me what happened and I wanted to see how you’re doing,” Judd gently pats TK’s shoulder. “You’ve been in and out for a while.”

“Yeah,” TK clears his throat. “This fever is really kicking my ass.”

“I, uh, you had me worried there for a second when I heard,” Judd sighs.

“I’m sorry, it was a freak accident. I was scared, too but I’m okay, Carlos took great care of me.”

Judd nods. “You’ll be better in no time, brother,” he reassures him. “Get some more rest,” he adds, seeing the way TK’s eyes drift close. “Your man will be back when you wake up.”

True to Judd’s word, Carlos is by TK’s side the next time he opens his eyes.

“Hi, baby,” Carlos smiles when he sees TK awake. “How are you feeling?”

“A little better,” TK replies, his body feeling more at ease. “You look better, too,” he points out, taking in Carlos’s appearance.

Carlos nods. “Knowing you’re getting better helped. Your fever decreased and the doctor thinks it will break soon. And they’ve been monitoring your wound and changing the dressing and it looks better, too. They think the infection will clear out by tomorrow.”

“And I’ll go home?”

“And you’ll come home,” Carlos confirms with a smile, carding his fingers through TK’s hair.

TK feels lighter at Carlos’s words, feeling that the worst is truly over now.

“Thank you, ‘Los. You literally carried me and put me back together.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

TK stays silent, knowing there’s more on Carlos’s tongue.

“It just…it felt like you were slipping away from me and…I was so scared,” Carlos closes his eyes and unshed tears shimmer when he opens them a moment later.

“You helped me hold on, Carlos, you gave me strength. And I knew it was going to be okay because you were by my side. I know what I asked wasn’t easy and I know it will take its toll but you did it. You saved me. And I’ll always fight to come back to you,” TK vows.

“I’ll always be right here,” Carlos vows back, brushing a kiss to TK’s temple. “Oh, and mom and dad send their love and well wishes. They were really worried but I told them everything is looking up now. Mom made me promise that we’ll go over for lunch as soon as you’re well enough. She’s probably setting the menu now.”

TK chuckles. “I’d love that. It shouldn’t be too long, though, I’ll be taking some antibiotics for a while and my thigh will be sore but only for a couple of weeks. It will scar, but…”

“Hey,” Carlos squeezes TK’s hands. “Scars show what you overcame, what you survived.”

“What we overcame and survived,” TK corrects. “I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Carlos leans in, resting his forehead against TK’s and takes in everything that is TK. Carlos easily lets himself get lost in TK’s scent, a reminder that TK is here and that he’s okay.

And seeing TK sitting up and talking, having regained most of his color now, Carlos can finally properly breathe again since watching TK fall.

*****

When TK suggested they go camping again, Carlos was hesitant at first, his once beloved spot now tainted with the memories of TK getting hurt. But TK reminds him of what that place means to him, not wanting the memory of the accident to be Carlos’s most recent association with the spot. He tells him that going back can help them both, reminds him of the strength of his connection to that campsite and Carlos eventually agrees.

And when they return to the campsite a couple of months later, TK is proven right, in more ways than one.

They go back after TK has fully recovered and Carlos no longer jolts up awake in the middle of the night, covered in a layer of sweat, heaving with TK’s yelled name on his lips.

Carlos is standing by the water, enjoying the cool breeze and the warmth of the sun on his skin when a pair of arms wrap around him from behind and hold him close. He smiles, leaning back into TK’s chest and rests his head against the younger man’s shoulder.

“Still as beautiful as ever,” TK whispers against Carlos’s ear.

Carlos nods. Still, however, a part of him can’t fully enjoy it anymore, the memories of TK’s accident too evident in his mind.

With a kiss planted to Carlos’s temple, TK pulls back and the officer turns to follow a few moments after.

And when his eyes land on TK, who’s down on one knee in front of him, Carlos draws in a deep breath while his eyes go wide.

Tears spring to Carlos’s brown eyes as TK opens the red velvet box in his hands, revealing a stunning silver ring sitting inside.

And the identical bright specks glittering in their eyes when TK asks and Carlos answers with, yes, a million times yes and the lighting surging through their bodies at the kiss that follows…

Well, their love is cosmic, after all.

And now, standing by the lake Carlos had painted for TK before, wrapped in each other’s embrace, they both start to fully heal, souls uplifting, their hearts lightening and beating as one.

With that, this place no longer carries the scars of almost losing TK and everything they are and could be, but now serves as a reminder of the strength of their love, mending the scars and holding the promise of a brighter future ahead.

71 notes · View notes

nxrthmizu · 3 years

Text

love in bubble wraps.

fandom | haikyuu!!

pairing | kuroo tetsurou x reader

genre | fluff

w.c | 1.9k

author's note | based on a real life experience... :)

Love, you think, comes in many forms. Sometimes love is a warm, home-cooked meal that is now cooked at least once a week because you told your mother you liked it. Other times, love is laughing and crying alongside the friends you’ve known since pre-school because everyone passed their highschool finals with flying colours. Throughout our lives, we gradually come to meet the different forms of love, because it comes in all shapes, colours, and sizes.

First, we learn that love is a roof that you can always turn to when a storm blows in. Then, we learn that love is knowing that there are people who will drop everything to help you when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Lastly, we learn to interlock our fingers with the one we wish to walk to the end of time with.

Then again, love varies from person to person— Just like how the goddess of love, Aphrodite, looks different to every soul that sets its sights on her; Beauty truly lies in the eye of the beholder. For some, love comes in the form of a warm body to cuddle next to on a rainy day. For others, love comes in the form of a jewelled ring. For you, love comes in the form of a 6’2 man who still doesn’t know how to tame his bedhead.

Tetsurou is often too busy for his own good, always running around here and there to secure contracts, ensuring that Japan can make a name for itself during the Olympics. He books train tickets to opposite ends of Japan at least once a month, leaving before the sun rises and returning after it sets. The sun never dictates his work day, because while his coworkers work from nine to five, Tetsurou works until he finishes his tasks.

Okay, so your husband is a bit of a workaholic. And maybe not just a bit.

“L/N-san,” Your colleague asks one day out of sheer curiosity. A group of women are gathered around the snack station, sipping on cheap, machine-produced instant coffee as they gossip about their marital lives instead of working. “Now that I think about it… I’ve never met your husband, have I?”

“Ah,” You sweat-drop nervously at this. Wonderful— Your parents are already pressuring you about how Kuroo rarely visits with you— And now your coworkers, too? “He’s quite busy. He works very hard to make sure that we’ll be well-off in the future.” You respond, knowing that your reply is just a thinly-veiled way of saying ‘He’s rarely home,’.

“Oh, that’s awful,” Wherever you go, there’s always a middle-aged lady who has nothing better to do than to prey on the weak spots of your life, “It must feel lonely. You must feel so sad when you see my husband pick me up from work.” A smirk dances up her lips as she waits for you to walk into her trap, smiling as widely as a spider watching its incoming meal.

“Not really,” A practiced smile counters hers as you take a sip of your coffee. “I know Tetsurou loves me— There’s an unbreakable trust between us. He might not be home often, but I know that he’s working hard so that we can have a better tomorrow… And that’s sort of comforting, in a sense. Knowing that Tetsurou wishes for a future where we’re financially stable, where we can just spend a whole day doing nothing in each other’s presence…”

A chorus of ‘awws’ makes you blush. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the middle-aged coworker huff in failure. You mentally fist-pump the air at your victory.

“Anyway, I heard that you got engaged last weekend, Shiho-san,” Changing the topic quickly, you smile when the attention of all the ladies instantly redirects to the said woman, who blushes fiercely as they all coo at her ring. “Congratulations!”

“Oh my! He bought you such a beautiful ring… Ah, Shiho-san, you’re so lucky!”

“My husband also bought me a new bag last week,” The middle-aged woman chips in proudly, cocking her head towards her cubicle, where the leather handbag sits atop a tower of documents. “It’s very expensive.”

“That’s nice of him! It’s been forever since my husband bought me something.” Sighs another lady. Most of the group hums in agreement, sharing sympathetic looks with those that share the same fate.

“At the beginning, when we were still dating, Hayato used to buy me so many things, now…” The coworker that brings homemade cookies every New Years’ party says, looking dejected. “It’s like once we’re married, they don’t have to worry about making us happy anymore…”

“Ah, what about you, L/N-san? Does your husband buy you things often?”

You groan internally when the attention shifts to you once more. Honestly, you’re just there to listen and enjoy your coffee— Must you keep getting dragged into the conversation? “Well, personally I don’t really need my husband to buy me things to keep me happy, but… He does bring back trinkets whenever he travels.” You think about it for a while, then brighten when you remember the latest thing Tetsurou brought back for you.

“What is it?” Your change in expression isn’t missed by your coworkers, who preen with curiosity, excited to know what made you brighten up.

“Ah, it’s nothing… I promise, you’ll be disappointed if I tell you.” You chuckle.

“Come on!” “Be a good sport, L/N-san!” “We’re curious now, you can’t not tell us!”

“Oh, fine.” You sigh, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

[ Three days ago, Saturday ]

You were on the couch, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy with the Netflix subscription Tetsurou got for you to occupy yourself with while he was out of town. Your cat, Kazume (nicknamed after your husband’s best friend) lazed on your lap, yawning once in a while and swatting at the stray threads from your sweater.

Somewhere in between your fifteenth and seventeenth episode, the front door chirped with the sound of someone inserting a key into the lock. You perked up at the noise, Kazume yelping in protest as he almost slipped off.

“Oh, sorry Kazu.” You said quickly, a smile widening your lips as the front door opened.

“I’m ho—” Before your husband could finish his sentence, you were already at his side. Kazume meowed loudly from the couch, complaining about you abandoning him for another man. Tetsurou’s eyes softened, the edges of his hazel irises worn down by exhaustion. You took his laptop bag from him, as well as the folders he has in hand, balancing them like how you would balance your three grocery bags when Tetsurou wasn’t around to help. “I missed you too, but are you sure you can carry all of my files with one hand?”

“Yes!” You replied confidently, showcasing your balance as you wobbled through the living room with all of your husband’s stuff. Tetsurou’s laugh echoed through the apartment as he followed you, his reflexes coming into play as he dived for a falling file. “Oops.” You giggled, helping him up after he practically hurled himself at the floor.

Tetsurou shook his head, sighing fondly while he hugged you from the back, taking comfort in the familiar smell of your hair shampoo. “I missed you.” He mumbled.

“Me too.” You hummed, reaching back to stroke your hands through his still-untamed bedhead.

“Oh, before I forget,” Tetsurou leapt up suddenly, chucking his backpack onto the ground. “I brought back something for you!”

“I already have like, twenty-five keychains from Hyogo,” You reminded him, “Please tell me it’s not a…” Your voice trailed off when Tetsurou proudly whipped his gift from his backpack, hazel eyes shining for your reaction.

“... So?” Tetsurou grinned widely, like a five-year-old child holding up his drawing for his mother to critique.

“Oh my god, I love you.” You declared in your 80 sq ft kitchen, grabbing the gift from him. “I’ll clean up your stuff, go take a bath and we can have dinner while watching the…'' You pursed your lips as you try to recall the information that kept evading you like an annoying fly. “... 15th? 16th episode of Grey’s.”

“You started that without me? I said I wanted to watch that.” Tetsurou pouted petulantly like a child.

“I finished all the other stuff I wanted to watch,” You told him unapologetically. “And Kazume wanted to watch it too. Now hurry and take a bath or I’m starting without you.”

Twenty minutes later, you were cuddled up to your husband, who did not bother to comb his hair (“It’ll just be messy later anyway,” His reasoning was). Every few seconds, he would scoop some cold mash potato out of the giant bowl (The two of you were too impatient to heat it with the microwave) and feed you. All throughout the episode, there was the constant pop-pop-pop of you working your way through the giant piece of bubble wrap Tetsurou had brought home for you.

“You know, I was thinking,” You hummed as Tetsurou pressed ‘Next Episode’. “If It were any other woman, they might have slapped you for bringing just bubble wrap home after a whole week away.”

“Well, then I’m lucky that you aren’t ‘any other woman’, am I?” Your husband smiled, pressing a gentle kiss onto your lips before picking up the mash potato bowl again. “Are we just going to have mashed potatoes for dinner?”

“I bought spicy instant noodles yesterday, we can have that later if you want.”

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

[ Present, Tuesday ]

“That’s actually so sweet of him!” Your colleague coos as you finish your story. “Wish I had a husband like that…'' Even the middle-aged lady begrudgingly nods in agreement. For a moment, you feel a surge of pride— It was your husband they were talking about— Your sweet, hardworking, dork of a 6’2 bedhead.

“You wouldn’t be able to survive.” Another lady snorts. “That guy is away for weeks at a time.”

You hum. “Well, at least he calls back every night, regardless of how tired he is.” In the corner of your mind, you remember that he makes sure to call his grandmother every weekend, and that he sends his parents (and grandparents) money every month, that he visits your parents the first Sunday after he’s back from his trips— Not to mention that he always brings a gift of wellness products (The most recent one was a box of abalone).

The group of women swoon once more.

“Well, I guess we should get back to work,” You dispose of your paper cup in the trash, brushing your hands off. “See you ladies later.”

The moment you’re back at your desk, you take out your phone to text your husband, who is, no doubt, going to be very, very confused.

[ y/n ] 2.37pm

— we have a problem

[ tetsu <3 ] 2.39pm

— what’s wrong???

[ y/n ] 2.38pm

— i may have accidentally caused 20 women in my office to fall in love with you

[ tetsu <3 ] 2.38pm

— what ???

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you know it's love when your dad comes home with this giant piece of bubble wrap and your mom literally squeals and snatches it to immediately start popping it on the couch while browsing facebook on her ipad

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader fluff #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou x y/n #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou x you #kuroo tetsurou fluff #[ris writes]—✧

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generallybarzy · 3 years

Text

i loved you first.

an: I wrote this mostly a couple nights ago when I was listening to my "ouch" playlist and sobbing so hard I got a 48-hour migraine over the fact that I'll never see my crush again and I can't do anything about it because a) I'm moving in less than a month and leaving everything I know behind and b) he has a girlfriend. But that emotion eventually evolved into "i'm never gonna see some of my best friends again after we move away from each other next month" and that just turned me into this big pit of anxiety where I felt like time was just moving too fast but not at all and I'll miss everything if I don't go do something. So. I was fucking sad and this was the result. completely unedited angst. probably sucks ass, but that's how I'm feeling right now. Anyway, I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't really been around for a few days. I deleted all my asks so if you had something sent, its gone, and i'm just popping in to post this. idk when I'll be back this time, but i'm trying to take care of my irl relationships and moving and college and all that and it hurts a lot more than i can explain and everythings putting my anxiety through the roof lately. anyway........

song inspo: i loved you first- joan

word count: 2.3k

"You keep running away when I need you most

Running away when I get too close

My heart is full but yours is running out

I think I'm afraid of what comes next

Yeah, I'm afraid you've lost your head

Baby, you know that I loved you first

But now, you're in love with somebody else."

Mat was losing you.

You were his best friend. You'd grown together, laughed together, made stupid decisions together in the wake of your last breakup, he always came to to with his troubles, and, as much as he hated hearing the way your ex treated you, he kept his mouth shut and kept being the shoulder you needed to cry on again and again.

And Mat had been in love with you for as long as he could remember.

Ever since the night of your breakup, he'd been waiting for the right moment to tell you how he felt. You were fresh out of a breakup, and he knew that was the worst time to say anything, so he kept quiet. He helped you get yourself out there and smile once again. He brought that beautiful, gleaming smile back to your face. And it warmed his heart to know he had helped bring some of the sunshine back to your life. He waited and waited, comforting you after all your bad first dates and keeping his cool when you came over for movie night. He tried to ignore the way his heart pounded when you circled your arms around his waist and mumbled "At least I'll always have you, Maty." He tried his hardest to calm his heart and keep his eyes on the movie while you cuddled up with him, wearing his clothes, but the light of his TV betrayed him and lit up the way you were smiling against his chest, deep in sleep, safe and comfortable in his hoodie. He didn't tell you how he felt, all those years. He couldn't lose what he had of you in trying to get more. He would be happy with just this for now.

You rested against his chest, unaware of the way Mat was staring at you as if you'd put the stars in the sky all for him. He was so ready to give you his all, to tell you everything he wanted to say, to finally get to call you his, and hear you call him yours. He leaned down to ghost his lips across your cheek, letting the words fall before he even realized his mouth was moving.

"I love you so much, more than you'll ever know."

Maybe he said the words then because he knew you wouldn't hear, maybe he was afraid of actually telling you, afraid of the chance that he would scare you away with how full his heart was. But he didn't mind. He said it, and as long as he knew he loved you, he'd be content with staying like this for a while while you picked yourself back up and regained your confidence. Once you weren't still reeling from your breakup, he'd let it out. He'd tell you for real.

But then, one of your first dates went well.

He'd gotten his usual post-date text from you, the one he always made you promise to send just so he knew you were safe. He expected another letdown, a list of all the things wrong with your date, or ways they were just like your ex. Instead, you were gushing. Mat couldn't stand the hope in your messages, the way you were so excited, rambling on and on about this guy. He wanted to be happy for you, he wanted to be glad you were finding someone you liked, but he couldn't help feeling the pain from the sting that someone was actually taking you away from him again.

Soon, your movie nights together as friends were overtaken by date nights, and Mat was left alone in his apartment, sitting on the couch you used to cuddle him on, wearing the hoodie you loved to steal, and watching the TV show you introduced him to, half heartedly checking your snap story to see you in the middle of a date with him. He tried to hide his jealousy whenever you spoke of your boyfriend, he tried to appear proud and excited for you, but the hard truth he didn't want to face was that he was losing you. He was losing his best friend, the person he loved the most.

He didn't know when this started. He didn't know how to stop it, but you were pulling away from him. And that scared him. Mat couldn’t stand watching you fall more and more in love with this guy, not when he was right there, willing to give you all the love he had in his heart.

You were the one Mat went to on his worst days. The days when he felt like a waste of space, like he'd never amount to anything more than he was. The days it seemed like the weight of everyone's expectations was about to make him crumble to his knees. The days he needed you most. It only took a quick 'you free tonight? I need you.' text, and you knew exactly the state he was in. 'Of course Mat, I'm always free for you.' But ever since you started dating this guy, his texts went unanswered, unseen, and he was left alone on his hardest nights, with harsh reminders that the girl he loved was falling in love with somebody else right in front of his eyes, while he could do nothing but watch.

This guy had no right to come between you two. After all, Mat had loved you first.

He had comforted you for years over your shitty boyfriends, and this newest guy was no exception. Mat would still find himself, on rare nights, holding you in his arms while you sobbed about how your boyfriend made you cry again, whispering to Mat that 'at least I know you would never do this to me'. But the next day you were gone, running away from him as if you'd never snuggled up in his arms for comfort, as if the late-night conversations meant nothing to you.

'You're right, I would never do this to you." He thought to himself, watching you toy with the sleeve of his sweater and snuggle into his chest to dry your eyes with your best friend's warmth. "So why do you keep going back to the man who hurt you, when I'm right here?'

Mat had so much he wanted to say, and though he didn't want you to run away again, he could only hold his tongue for so long.

"I'm so glad you invited me out for lunch, Mat. He's been such an ass lately, so I'm glad to get away. It's been a while since we talked, yeah?"

Mat couldn't bring himself to answer. God, his heart was throbbing in his chest. He loved you so much, but you were falling in love with an asshole who didn't treat you right. You looked so beautiful sitting across the table from him. The sun was gleaming off your hair, but the beauty was made sour by the necklace that sat around your neck, the necklace your boyfriend had given you on your 3 month anniversary. Mat swallowed back his nerves. "(Y/N), I need to be honest with you."

Any trace of happiness on your face was gone, replaced with dread. Part of Mat felt like shit for making you feel like that, but another, more sinister part, felt a little glimmer of revenge. You'd been running away from him for months, abandoning your best friend for some shitty boyfriend who you still cried over to him, and maybe now you were feeling a slimmer of what dread he had felt when he thought of your crumbling friendship, and the love he had for you that he couldn't do anything with. "What's wrong, Mat? It seems really serious."

"It is." Mat took a deep breath. He couldn't meet your eyes. He didn't know when he started to feel uncomfortable around you. You had always been the person he could admit anything to. Now, you were pulling away from him. "We've been friends for so long, but recently, I feel like I'm… losing you."

"Mat, you're not losing me."

"Yeah, I am. I'm losing you to your new boyfriend.”

Finally, Mat met your eyes, and was astonished by the fear there. How could you spend the last few months drawing further and further away, and then be shocked when he confronted you? Hadn't you realized how little time you spent together? Hadn't you noticed how the only time you spent with him was when he was comforting you from something your boyfriend did to upset you? Hadn't your words- 'at least I know you'd never do this to me'- meant nothing?

"Look, I know you're happy with him, and I'm happy for you… no matter how much you complain about how he's an ass... but… we- you don't come over anymore.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, Mat, I’m more busy than I was when I was single-”

“No, it's not just that. You stopped answering my texts. You know… the ones… when I'm vulnerable. When I need you. I get that you’re gonna be busy, but I opened up to you about shit I would never tell to another person, and I can’t even get a response. You're running away when I need you most…"

He let the silence fall between you again. After a few moments, you spoke up, "Mat…" but your voice fell flat when you couldn't think of the right words to fill the air.

"You still come over, but only when you need someone to dry your tears when your boyfriend did something stupid. You come to me. You only come to me when you need my comfort, but you can’t give me the comfort when I need it, and I’m fucking tired of it.” His words weren’t bitter towards you at all. That’s not what he felt. He wasn’t angry at you, he was angry that either of you had let your boyfriend come between you, he was angry at himself for letting you go, for being too fucking insecure to tell you anything. “You- you keep telling me you wish you could find someone like me. But can't you tell how perfect I am for you?"

"Mat, stop." You were picking with your fingers, a habit he knew all too well.

“I know you remember that night.”

“Mat…”

“It was when you were still trying to date, and always came over after your bad first dates. We cuddled, we…. We got way closer than friends should. I thought- I guess I just thought there was something there. I thought we’d end up as more…”

“I-” Your throat was tight. You hadn’t even realized how much Mat’s words were affecting you. “You can't just… drop all this on me right now, it's not fair."

"What do you really see in him?"

"What?"

"What do you see in him? Does he really love you like you know I do?" You sat quietly, your mouth agape, eyes dropping to the table. Mat’s voice dropped quieter. “You know I love you. I know you know. Friends don’t just cuddle and… and fucking open up about every single little insecurity and promise each other they’ll never leave, and say ‘at least I know you’d never do this to me. I loved you. So fucking much. And it’s so hard to watch you fall in love with someone else, when my heart is so fucking full of love for you.” Mat scoffed in spite of himself. He knew he was fucking it all up, your friendship, any chance of a relationship with you, and it was making his words taste even more bitter. "You know what's not fair? How I have to sit here, watching you fall in love with someone who doesn't love you nearly as much as I do."

“Please stop, Mat.” You quieted him, your hands shaking, in fear of what would come of your surely-shattered friendship. “I- I didn’t know. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Bullshit.” Mat was well aware of the tears beading in his eyes, but he tried his hardest to ignore the burn of them rolling thickly down his cheeks. “I- I was always there to hold you… to comfort you when your dates didn’t go well or when your boyfriend fucked up. Can’t you see?”

The silence that fell between the two of you was deafening. Neither of you could make eye contact, and instead focused on staring at the table, not caring about the people inevitably walking around you and wondering what was happening.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Mat.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn't… I’m with my boyfriend. I can’t just…” You shook your head. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Nothing.” Mat sat back in his chair. He’d said what he invited you here to say, and that was all he had planned. He didn’t think of anything else past this point. “I just… I had to tell you. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, I’m not gonna say you have to choose me or him, and I’m sure this fucked up our friendship like crazy. I just- I can’t keep watching this, okay? That’s all I had to say. I know you love him, and I… fuck, I still love you. I just hope you don’t forget about me, alright?”

“Mat, you’re my best friend.”

Mat stood up, sliding down some money for the drink he had bought earlier. God, he felt like shit, watching the girl he loved move on, knowing there was no way they could keep going on like this, no way she would want to keep seeing him knowing how he felt. But he couldn’t hide it any longer, and now, it was ruined.

“I gotta go.”

#this is probably shit and doesn't make any sense #i just had.......... emotions #welp

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marsophilia · 3 years

Text

OF WAR AND FATE — chapter one

<- masterlist ->

pairing :: royalty!seonghwa x reader

word count :: 1.9k

warnings :: blood

The border forest was a peaceful place. Especially if one decided to live there. In a small cottage, away from war and surrounded by peaceful sounds of animals and the nearby river. The cottage that found its place in the middle of the forest was simple. It was wooden with a few windows, garden with lots of herbs next to it. It had a homey feel to it - one that would certainly draw people in.

That’s how Hongjoong liked it.

The solitude of it won him over the most. Especially since he built the cottage by himself. And even though he proudly says how much he enjoys the solitude, he’s also the one that proudly enjoys the company of his cat.

Having all the time to himself, Hongjoong liked to use it up whenever he could which resulted in his scattered sleep schedule. Meaning one day he would sleep from noon until the evening and spend the night doing god knows what, or other days he would fall asleep around early evening and sleep in until noon. He had to catch up with sleep somehow.

But never in his right mind was he expecting that during one of his sleepless nights would two figures barge in, one on the verge of passing out while the other was choking on their own tears. And indeed, this was the place that Seonghwa led you to while losing consciousness more and more. “Please… Please help!” Your voice cracked and as if on cue, Seonghwa’s legs finally gave up as the man toppled over on the floor.

It didn’t take long for recognition to spark in Hongjoong’s eyes, both when seeing his friend and you - and he knew who you were. From Seonghwa’s stories and also as the heir of the other kingdom. Shuffling over, he watched you fall down to your knees next to your lover again, not hesitating to drop on the other side of his body. “Shit- What the hell happened?” He questioned, looking at you for answers while trying to get his friend up to transfer him to somewhere he could help him.

You looked down in guilt again, frantically wiping your tears away as you got up to help him pick Seonghwa up. “It’s my fault- Somehow, someone followed me into the woods.” You both successfully got Seonghwa up, holding him under his arms around the waist while Hongjoong instructed you where you were going.

“I was so stupid, how did i get so careless! And they probably watched us for a while, waiting for the perfect opportunity to take one single shot! God!” Tears welled up in your eyes again as the two of you placed Seonghwa on the table in a room to the side. “I doubt it was your fault. But I’ll ask you to wait outside for now.” Your gaze snapped up to meet Hongjoong who was still very much a stranger to you.

He couldn’t be serious, right?

“W-what?” You were in disbelief. There was no way you’re leaving Seonghwa’s side while he was in the condition that he was in. “I need space and concentration if you want me to patch him up. You can crash on the couch, there’s food in the kitchen and if you need comfort, feel free to cuddle Pearl. Oh, yeah- I’m Hongjoong.” He introduced himself with a small smile. “Y/n…” You responded and all he did was send you a sympathetic nod. “I know.”

You didn’t stay after that, walking out of the room and shutting the door behind yourself. ‘I know.’ What was that supposed to mean? You guessed he was a friend of Seonghwa so that immediately made him trust him just a little bit. Maybe Seonghwa told him about you? Yeah, that was most likely the case.

Oh, God… What did you do?

Seonghwa was hurt with an arrow impaling him because of you! This was exactly what you tried to avoid so how did it even happen?! Knees buckled beneath you as the fear finally started kicking in. Threading your fingers through your hair, gripping at the roots. You were on the verge of hyperventilating. Whoever shot Seonghwa was sent by someone. No way did they decide to shoot the prince just like that.

Oh no… Did that mean your parents knew?! When you go back you’ll never see the light of day again. They’ll most likely end up holding you under a lock and key for the rest of your life. And that means- no more seeing Seonghwa. No- he was your place of peace, where you could go and just be in his presence to feel instant comfort. He felt like a bigger home than your family who was always distant from each other.

Being snapped away from your overthinking by a meow, your eyes snapped downwards until they fell on a small ball of fur wrapped around your leg. Confusion clouded your eyes until Hongjoong’s words finally made sense to you. “Ah… You must be Pearl, hm?” Mumbling out, you leaned down to pick up the animal in your arms. It surprisingly calmed you down just a little bit.

Moving the both of you towards the sofa that was nearby, you finally let your legs give up as you collapse back on the sofa. The exhaustion started hitting you just now. It was a long night and it felt like a nightmare rather than a dream, like usual.

You curled up on the couch, Pearl snuggling into your stomach for warmth. Your hand instinctively rested on the cat’s head, scratching the animal behind her ears. “Pearl, I have no idea what to do…” You mumbled out, a yawn breaking out in the middle of your sentence. Never mind the overthinking your brain was still thinking about the whole situation, it didn’t take you long to pass out from the exhaustion while hoping that Seonghwa was in good hands with Hongjoong. Hopefully, you didn’t make another mistake.

It wasn’t until the morning with sun barging through the windows onto your face - you woke up. It was hard to adjust your eyes to the bright light and the exhaustion you felt last night was still there. Pearl was long gone, probably already scurried off as soon as you fell asleep and your hands stilled. Her needs were fulfilled.

But after you turned on your back to stretch out your limbs, your eyes fell on a figure sitting by your legs fast asleep. You were unsure if you ever sat up as fast as you did at that moment, your eyes doubling in size. Because in front of you was sitting no one else but Park fucking Seonghwa.

His upper body was patched up and wrapped with a big bandage, his arms crossed over his chest as he slept leaned against the back lean of the small couch. Why was he here? Why wasn’t he resting? Wasn’t he in pain? Where was Hongjoong?

“I can hear you thinking…” A tired voice mumbled out as one of Seonghwa’s eyes popped open to look at you. Almost instantly, you reached out to cup his cheeks while your eyes pooled with tears. From your mouth fell numerous apologies for how sorry you were and how you never wanted to bring him in danger. It really didn’t take long for your tears to start rolling down your cheeks.

“Baby please stop crying,” Seonghwa mumbled, doing his best to wipe your tears away before reaching out to wrap his hands around you while snuggling his face in the crook of your neck. You could hear him wince and that only made worry grow in your stomach even more. “How come you’re here-? Why aren’t you resting in that bed Hongjoong put you in last night? You should be sleeping and recovering…”

He turned his head to look at you while still resting it on your shoulder before giving you a small smile, “I woke up around 5 in the morning and couldn’t sleep without knowing where you were.” Seonghwa slowly explained while your mouth hung open, “So I managed to nag Hongjoong into helping me come here- it took a lot of convincing.”

You sniffled your tears away before wrapping your arms around him, careful enough so you wouldn’t hurt him. “Hwa… I was so scared.” You confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. “I mean you got fucking got shot- and by someone from my kingdom nonetheless!”

Your cheek was pressed against the top of his head while you tried to hold in a choked sob, "Seonghwa… What if my parents know? What if someone saw us or followed us and informed them?" He could hear the worry in your voice and he already knew you overthought everything that happened yesterday.

"Y/n-" You cut him off while pushing yourself back so you could look him in the eyes, "No Seonghwa! What if they go after you again!? They'll probably put me under a lock once I get back and I wouldn't be surprised if they searched the woods for you! And i-" this time, a sob did end up cutting you off, desperately wiping at your cheeks.

Seonghwa could feel his heart breaking for you after seeing you in this state. And for the second time that morning, he pulled you in for a hug. He let you cry it out, rubbing your back gently. He knew the sooner you let everything out, the sooner you would calm down.

He also wasn't sure what words would even manage to console you.

He was scared, just as much as you were. There was a chance that he won't be able to see you anymore after you get back to your home. And just that thought brought him more pain than he could even start to imagine.

After a few minutes, your cries finally started lessening into soft sniffles. You felt pathetic. That was the best way to describe how you were feeling at the moment. Pathetic, scared and all you could do was cry.

Not even a moment later, the sound of doors being opened echoed around the small house, a smiling Hongjoong reentering his home. "Good news, I got what I needed for your woun-" cutting himself off, he looked over the scene he walked in on. More specifically, Seonghwa with a deep frown covering his handsome face and you crying into his shoulder.

"A-ah!" He almost stumbled over his feet, before making a bee-line towards one of the rooms at the back of his house. You didn't know what was hiding back there, "Right! Privacy-"

You couldn't help but chuckle at Seonghwa's friend, moving to wipe the tears from your eyes. "He seems nice… How did you two even meet?"

It took one chuckle from you to make Seonghwa break into a soft smile, "That's… a long story. For another time." He mumbled before leaning forwards to place a soft kiss against your hairline. He knew that everything would come crashing down soon enough so… for now, he wanted to use up all of these small moments with you.

Sighing, he turned his head to connect your eyes, "We'll need to talk about what to do now regarding… everything." Hearing the anguish in his voice, you slowly nodded before he cut off your thoughts, "But not for now- not today. Just one more day? Let's just have one more normal day and deal with everything tomorrow?"

"Alright… we can do that." You nodded your head, biting the inside of your cheek. Because as much as you didn't want you, you knew the two of you will have to face your problems one of these days. But… just one more day of peace and quiet.

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popatochisssp · 3 years

Note

ok poppy i'm rereading some of your stuff and reading about proposals and my hopelessly romantic ass needs, NEEDS, to know how the new bois would propose to their s/o.

*cracks knuckles*

Romance ahoy!

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Pretty mundane, all things considered, he’s not really an over-the-top sorta guy. By the time he proposes, you’ve almost definitely had at least a handful casual conversations about getting hitched, just to make sure you’re on the same page about the idea. And then, you find the ring, hidden at the bottom of a basket of fries at Grillby’s (because of course it’s at Grillby’s) and the question in his eye-lights when you look back up at him. He won’t say it out loud, he wants you to have the out of shoving it back at him or maybe just quietly taking it if you’re not up for a scene--but if you lick the grease and salt off that puppy and slip it on your finger, you’re already in the best place to celebrate your engagement with all your friends and family!

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Paralyzed by indecision on how to ask you, quite frankly. You’re his s/o, and very special and important to him, so he wants it to be perfect, exactly what you want... but how??? He spends months looking up proposal ideas, asking friends and family for advice, practically stressing himself to tears over how much he wants this to happen but just can’t decide on how to do it! You’re almost guaranteed to find out about it before he follows through on anything, and honestly, you should probably propose on his behalf. The tears will finally come then, but they’ll be happy ones, and hopefully the two of you can laugh about it later that it was his idea and he had everything ready, but you had to be the one to ask just to make it happen.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Once he’s decided that he really wants to be with you on a permanent basis, he’d like to make the proposal really special and memorable for you… but he doesn’t really have any ideas. He’s…not the most creative, or spontaneous, and everything he’s come up with feels boring or clichéd… In the end, the only thing he can think of is to just... rehearse and memorize a little speech-- the usual pre-proposal stuff, like what you mean to him, how much he loves you, the future he wants to have with you... He writes it all down, everything he wants to say to you, and drills it, over and over until he’s got every word down perfectly with no pauses or wrong signs or stand-in-words for what he actually means, like there usually are when you talk to him. When the time comes, it’s the skeleton-equivalent of muscle memory and he delivers his speech perfectly, flawlessly for you, ending on the classic ‘will you marry me?’ and watching carefully for your answer. (If it’s ‘yes,’ you can bet he’ll still remember the speech, word for word, years later and be able to repeat it to you whenever you ask-- your fifth, tenth, twentieth anniversary and beyond.)

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Probably disappointing, honestly. He’s a very restrained and understated type of person, not the type to make a fuss, even about this. Honestly, you’ll be with him so long and so harmoniously that everyone you know will be assuming you’re already married before he’s ever said anything to you about it. And then, one day... he tells you that he’s looked into it and that it’d be relatively easy to make things official, he already knows the forms to fill out and the pieces of identification you’ll need, if that’s something you’d like to do. Not...very romantic...definitely not much of a wow factor... but you might feel at least a little flutter if you agree, because he’ll take your hand and press the back of it to his teeth and follow it up with, “GOOD. LET’S GET ON WITH FOREVER, THEN.” And he does mean that-- he only plans on marrying once, and you’re it for him.

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): You’ll find him in the kitchen, getting a little baking done. He’ll tell you, straight-faced and straight to your face, that he’s making a proposal cake...and ask if you’d like to help. You’ll probably assume it’s a paid project of his, for a client, and he’ll encourage your misunderstanding every step of the way. (Bonus points if you happen to have any comments--positive or negative--about the guy who’s proposing to his datemate with a cake!) The two of you will be flirting and cooperating and having a nice afternoon together making this cake--mixing the batter, putting on the frosting, carefully decorating it-- and it probably won’t occur to you that every part of it, from the flavors to the colors are exactly to your tastes... at least, not until he’s piping ‘Will You Marry Me’ on top and then spells out your name. The cheeky son of a bitch got you to help him bake your own proposal. He’ll slide the cake over to you with a patient smile while he waits for it to click, and to hear your answer to the question.

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): He’s definitely going to take a long time to get around to it, lots of hesitating and talking himself into and out of it. You’ll mostly likely be cuddled together, in the middle of the night, when he can’t wait anymore and nudges you awake to ask how you feel about doing something stupid. (It’s a prime opportunity for an ‘I’m doing you, aren’t I?’ joke, and honestly that might loosen a little bit of the tension for him if you’re quick enough on the draw to make it.) He’ll hem and haw and talk around it for awhile if you choose to probe into what he had in mind, but he’ll go for broke sooner or later and say that it’s marrying him, that he was thinking about. The stupid thing. That he...wondered if you would...do... He has a ring, which he fishes out from underneath the pillow, but the self-consciousness will start hitting him around then, and he probably won’t be able to look you in the eye as he sheepishly nudges it at you, waiting for your answer. If it just so happens to be ‘yes,’ well... he’ll probably be smiling into your shoulder all night and well into the morning.

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): He wants an organic moment and he’ll wait as long as he needs to for a natural, intimate moment where it just feels right to ask. It’ll probably be a morning, early but not so early that the sun isn’t coming through the windows and making everything feel warm and pleasant as you start the day. Domesticity in its purest form, he’d most like to catch you getting some chores done with a little music playing, the perfect excuse to sweep you into a playful, spontaneous waltz across the floor... And somewhere between the twirling and the laughter and the kisses ruined by smiling, there it is--“MARRY ME...” No ring, no collar, and no real plan for what you might say after, but you can figure that out together, can’t you?

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): He pops the question as far from home as possible, out in the great big world. The specific location isn’t important to him, it could be anywhere as long as it’s beautiful and new to him and he’s all the way out there with you. He may not have intended to come on vacation just to do this, so he’s definitely not prepared, but it reminds him how far he’s come and how he never could’ve predicted he’d end up here, with all this, and that inspires him; giving him the confidence to propose without hesitation. He’ll take your hand in his, look you in the eye, and just ask: “will you marry me?” He just...knows that it’s something that he wants and he hopes that you feel the same way.

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Guaranteed to be a spur of the moment thing, completely off-the-cuff. After you’ve been together awhile, after it’s clear that you two are a Serious Thing and probably in it for the long haul, it could happen pretty much anytime, anywhere... but probably on some adventure you’re on, whether that’s an aimless drive to nowhere, a ‘hey I’ve never done that before, let’s do it’ outing, or even just hitting up a convenience store for snacks in the middle of the night. You’ll just be laughing, having a good time together, living in the moment, and he’ll catch your eye and… “hey. let’s get married!” Spontaneous, but not thoughtless-- if he says it, he means it completely, so there’s no need to worry about him taking it back. He’s just too excited about the idea to not tell you about it immediately, as soon as it pops into his head. Still, he won’t be offended if you doubt the offer at first, and he’d be very happy to talk it out with you--where it came from, how he feels about you, why he wants it-- until you believe him and can maybe start thinking about an answer to give him. Take your time, he can wait, as long as it’s with you!

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): His is very much the Traditional Romantic Proposal-- a meaningful location for the both of you (where you met, first date, first said ‘I love you’, take your pick) where you can recreate that lovely evening with each other’s company and your fond nostalgia. You’ll probably have the sense that it’s coming long before he ever actually asks, but he won’t be hurried along for anything. You’re making memories here and everything in its own time! The biggest difference from his and the Traditional Romantic Proposal is that when it is finally time to pop the question, he won’t go down on one knee. He won’t do anything that might draw unnecessary attention to himself and to you, and won’t involve anyone else in this—no friends and family, no helpful waiters hiding rings, no spectators gawking at you in passing. This moment isn’t for sharing, it belongs to just the two of you: no pressure, no judgment, and no expectations, just a very simple, earnest question, asked with your hand in his. Before you’ve decided, he wants you to be comfortable enough to choose wholly without influence... and if your answer to the question is something to be celebrated, if your choice is him... Well, he’s happy to share that with anyone and everyone you please.

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chronic-claire-universe · 3 years

Note

HI CLAIRE!!! I AM COMING BACK AGAIN TO JOIN THE MATCH UP 😩 I hope you don't mind!

CONGRATS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL CLAIRE!!! I hope Ran always come to your dreams every single night 😌💖 We should discussing our fantasy about him again soon 😌

And here is me! (I edited this so I can give you a complete description about me)

I'm 8w9 INTP sp/sx sun: Leo moon: gemini, my height is 153cm and I have a petite body. Mentally ill? Yes, I am bipolar and having anorexia (more like relapsing again after surgery). When I am at my manic episode, I almost kill my family at the car-crash because I got too irritated that I pulled my sister's hair while she was driving—luckily she's a good driver or I am gonna be in jail rn 😩 When I was a kid, I used to get into some fights with boys (I won ofc) but since my father died, I tried not to get into fight ( I don't want to deal with my mother's dramatic and victim-mentality ass ) and I (gladly) never fight again after that 😌 That's why I really good at sport ( as a female I always got the highest point—even when compared to the male, I still on the top 5 on sport ) I really good on art ngl that's the reason I am at uni rn because I got scholarship (I won several art competition)! Also, I did english debate competition back then, but we were this 🤏 close to get into semi-final but bruh we defeated by 0.20 point! 🥲 I can do all those things by self-taught!

When I feel sad or miserable, I punish myself by starving myself lmao. Or I will usually get quiet and cut people around me.

My social skills? Fine I think. I weirdly get along with a lot of people (everyone kinda knows me) but I never talk to them first. Even though I have a lot of friends, I only have one close friend ( tragic right:") )

My personality is rude—blunt in the rude way(?), I do whatever I want to because I seek freedom of expression, LOVE debating about certain issues, and surprisingly I'm quite a wise person. But, I have no jam. Right, I couldn't make any jokes since I usually use the wrong tone in my voice :( I prefer to keep my joke inside my imagination or write it down somewhere. I always try to dominate my man, but I want my man to dominate me too ( do you get what I mean here? 😭 ) I love to be alone too. I HATE loud voices, reptiles, and crowds. I'm not the type of person who easily shows my love to anyone. I think because I have a really high pride *sigh. I felt like my kin actually is Rindou Haitani. But when I took the quiz I got Kazutora, Getou, Mori, Eren, and Dio Brando (that's the funny one)

I'm working as a graphic designer. Which somehow makes me currently don't have any interest. But I love listening to music (pop-rock and r&b ) . I love watching wwe/mma and hate romance anime/movies.

I'd like JJK and Haikyuu match up, please🥺 NSFW and I want male!

—Sorry for long ask :(

Hey my sweet plum, I read your request thousand times, let me say that I got worried and a bit sad hearing what you had to face in your life. I hope your mental health, despite your bipolarism, it isn't too messed up, lot of genius such as Michelangelo suffered bipolar disorder and see what he was capable to create! Ran woke me up this weekend, he wanted company 😁

Anyway, here your escort for my birthday party:

Jujutsu Kaisen - Megumi Fushiguro

Babe it was him or Nanamin, I opted that Megumi could be better since he has more patience than Nanami for your bratty attitude.

Megumi has the sharp mind to get through your facade, to understand your struggles and cope without problems with your rythm.

When you're manic episodes appear, he knows how to support every idea you get, even the strangest one. The first times he was worried to see you this active and in the mood to do things but now he got used to it.

Talking about these episodes, he enjoys when you're in the mood to debate with him or others.

He often suggest to watch some educative documentaries or biopic movies especially the ones that involves human rights. You get in a fiery mood when you watch it and try to explain why the things that the characthers had to endure are atrocious and illegally and how we should fight to eradicate them from the society.

Going to the other facade of the your personality, the depressive episodes are quite difficult to handle, you stay a lot in bed, you don't want to do anything.

He always brings you a cup of tea and cuddles you for hour, sometimes he gives you a paper to let you draw.

He hates when he needs to get you up for work, he knows you struggle and sometimes even cry but in the end when you get a grip you feel a little bit better.

In these cases, he brings you out for a jog or just a walk with his divine dogs or the little bunnies ready to pet.

Overall Megumi has a lot of patience with you but he's repaid when he sees the portrait and the things you cook for him, the struggle worths the prize in the end!

Haikyuu - Daichi Sawamura

I decided you definitely need a calm but strict man in your life and Daichi is perfect for this!

In Haikyuu universe you definitely play in the female team and you met Daichi during a combined training! You're a middle blocker in your team and you can't get me think otherwise!

You are strong and Daichi is astonished to see this, but when Nekoma came for the second time in Miyagi and Kuroo got on you, to give you some advices for a better tecnique, that's where Daichi got really jealous! He saw you for first and he definitely doesn't want, that roosterhead to hit on you!

"Marv go out with me!" it wasn't a question, it was a statement "I guess asking isn't in your knowledge, but Daichi there are proper times when to ask me out. Not when I'm sweaty and in a middle of a training!" you say with sharp eyes, Kuroo laughed at your bluntness and went away, but Daichi reply "Yep, sorry I got carried away and I felt to say it know" you smirk and say "Jelous are we? Ne Daichi don't blush!".

Your relationship is pretty natural, your dates consist in training and homemade dinner

You're pretty active and energetic in Daichi's mind, that's why when you went in one of your depressive episodes he got really worried.

As Megumi he took a lot of care of you, but the difference is that he prefers that you recover from yourself, also, if you have a therapy it's really difficult for you to take it in these moments and he obliges you to eat something and help you bring down the pill.

Normally you would hate these moments, but Daichi knows really well how to handle them, comfort foods such as pizza, tacos, ice cream, sushi are there for you to help you improve your mood and somehow it helps.

When you get a bit better, you can't go out training but you definitely draw or play sports with the Wii at home, this is definitely quality time for him.

Overall it could sound strange but Daichi doesn't hate these episodes, because he can see that you can do chores or just have fun, and this is definitely a proof of strenght for him!

He definitely loves Marv the warrior girl!

I finished! Babe hope this wasn't too sad for you, but I figured out that seeing you needed fluff and comfort, thanks for opening up and join the event, if you want to help me with a little gift here this is my Ko-Fi!

#claire milestone #claire birthday event #haikyuu!!#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #haikyu x reader #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro x reader #daichi sawamura #daichi x reader

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refinedbuffoonery · 3 years

Text

Quarantine Moments (5.5)

By popular request, here’s QM #5 from Mac’s POV. This idiot is pining so hard and he doesn’t even realize it.

*****

Mac watches the sun set behind them in his truck’s side mirror as Riley drives, the sky shifting from blue, to pink, then orange, then a dark burning gold, before fading to inky black. In front of them, the rising moon is barely more than a glowing sliver in the sky, and once they leave SoCal’s sprawling metropolis behind, the vast desert darkness swallows the beams of the truck’s headlights.

Riley rolls her window down, letting the warm night air tug wisps of hair from her messy bun, and Mac can’t help but watch the way she smiles softly and breathes deeply, completely at peace. He rolls down his own window, and the wind ruffles his hair like a lover’s playful fingers.

Mac is surprised when Riley parks in the empty campground. He assumed other people would have the same idea, but but as far as he can see, the area is devoid of human life.

Mac turns his gaze to the glittering sea above. His eyes land on Vega and Arcturus—two of the brightest stars in the sky—before trailing the Milky Way to find Sagittarius along the southern horizon.

Riley’s soft gasp draws his attention back to earth. Her lips part as she smiles, awestruck, and the stars are reflected in her big, dark eyes, almost as if she’s robbing them of their light. Thankfully Riley doesn’t notice his staring, because Mac can’t bring himself to look away.

He should. He knows he should. But, for some reason, he can’t.

Mac is still looking, minutes later, when Bozer yells at him to help make their bed.

It’s not until he’s lying beside Bozer on the mass of pillows and blankets that Mac realizes how small his truck bed really is. In his mind, they all fit perfectly, but in reality, it’s only wide enough for two grown adults, not three. Mac and Bozer scoot to the sides to give Riley as much space as possible, but their shoulders will be overlapping no matter what.

Riley’s arm brushes Mac’s as she squeezes her slim frame into the space in the middle, her warmth soaking into his skin. Mac likes her this close, likes her steady, reassuring presence at his side. They used to gravitate toward each other more, before he got back together with Desi, and Mac will never admit it aloud, but he misses the closeness he once had with Riley.

Quarantining with her, there were moments that felt like their old selves—the people they were back when Jack was still around and their biggest problem was Mac and Riley’s respective daddy issues—but then there would be a long, awkward pause in conversation or Desi would come up, and then that weird gap between them would be right back, wide as ever.

Mac isn’t sure how it even got there in the first place.

He tries to forget about it, distracting himself by searching for constellations while he waits for the first meteor to appear. Finally, one does, zipping across the horizon in the blink of an eye.

“Did you see that?” Bozer squeals.

Riley laughs softly. “Yeah, but I have no idea where it came from, or where I should be looking.”

Mac opens his mouth to explain, but Bozer beats him to it. “For starters, don’t look straight up. Look near the horizon. As Perseus gets higher in the sky during the night, the meteors will appear to come from higher up too.”

“Thanks.”

They watch the sky in peaceful silence.

Eventually, Bozer gets up to pee, and while he’s gone, Riley nudges Mac with her knee. “You’ve been quiet,” she says.

How is he supposed to say that even though their shoulders are literally touching right now, that even though they’ve been locked in his house together for months, he’s never felt farther away from her? That there’s this ever-widening chasm between them that he doesn’t know how to bridge?

Mac doesn’t look at her as he speaks, his eyes finding Vega overhead. “Ancient Chinese astronomers believed Vega and Altair were lovers, forever kept apart by the Milky Way.” He points with two fingers, one toward each star. “Vega is one of the brightest stars in the sky. It’s in the constellation Lyra, which just looks like a parallelogram. And over there is Altair, which is part of Aquila, the eagle.”

Riley doesn’t say anything. Mac glances at her in his peripheral vision. She’s squinting slightly, the way she always does when she’s focusing on something. She must not be able to find the stars, he reasons. Mac doesn’t think before sliding an arm beneath Riley’s shoulders and pulling her closer so that her head rests on his shoulder. His arm brushes her cheek as he points again.

It’s odd being this close to Riley without catching lingering traces of her perfume—a warm, dark scent he can’t pinpoint but likes anyway. She hasn’t worn it since quarantine started, and Mac is starting to miss it.

“I see it,” she breathes. Mac lets his arm drape across Riley’s body.

She tenses, but she doesn’t try to extricate herself from his side. Part of Mac knows he probably shouldn’t be holding her like this. A bigger part doesn’t care. Riley is his best friend goddammit, and he can cuddle her if he wants to. It doesn’t have to mean anything.

“Show me something else,” Riley says softly.

Mac takes a slightly unsteady breath before pointing in a different direction. “Over there are Sagittarius, which looks like a teapot, and Scorpius, which looks like a hook or the letter ‘J.’ Between them is the supermassive black hole that exists in the middle of the galaxy. All of the matter in the Milky Way orbits around it.”

Black holes are easy. Black holes make sense. But Riley...Riley doesn’t.

Especially when the moment passes, and she turns her head away to holler at Bozer. “You good, man?”

Bozer yells back from the other side of the truck. “Yeah! Got a little performance anxiety from this creepy bug staring at me.”

Mac imagines Bozer having a staring contest with some random desert bug sitting on the hood of the truck and bursts out laughing. His arm inadvertently tightens around Riley, and the wicked gleam in her eye when she looks up at him makes the moment even funnier.

He feels it again, that gravitational pull toward her. He’s tempted to let it drag him closer, but he’s afraid of what it might mean if he does.

Riley squirms when Bozer climbs back into the truck, and Mac hesitates before letting her go.

The three of them lay together for hours, just looking up at the stars, until Bozer initiates a chain reaction of yawns. “Mac,” Bozer says. “Did you set the alarm?”

Patting the pillow above Riley’s head, he answers, “Yeah. My phone is right here.”

Riley twists to look at him in horror. “Alarm?”

Mac explains, “The meteor shower’s peak is between three and four am. So unless you’d rather stay up all night...” Riley groans, pulling up a blanket and rolling onto her side. Chuckling at her dramatics, Mac grabs a blanket for himself and watches the stars until he falls asleep.

The volume of his alarm is set far too loud for the phone only being inches from his ear, and Mac winces as he’s forced into consciousness. Beside him, Riley growls, “Turn it off.”

He’s lying on his side with an arm around Riley’s waist, holding her in the curve of his body, but it doesn’t feel weird or awkward. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t like the way Riley fit against him. Mac accidentally bumps her face as he silences the alarm, and he mumbles, “Sorry.” There’s no room to move away from her, so Mac just brushes Riley’s hair out of his face and puts his arm back around her. “I hit snooze. You have five minutes.”

She sighs, absentmindedly brushing her thumb over his hand, and warmth spreads through Mac’s body that has nothing to do with the fact that it’s still nearly eighty degrees outside, even in the middle of the night. He lets himself snuggle closer. If he could live in the calm safety of this moment forever, Mac would.

But he doesn’t hold Riley for long before feeling like he’s about to explode. Mac rubs her shoulder. “Riles, move. I have to pee.”

Riley groans again, but then her hips press into his as she pushes Bozer away, and Mac scrambles to get up before anything awkward happens.

“I’m awake,” Bozer slurs.

“Sure you are.”

He’s back by the time the alarm goes off again, and Mac can hear the soft popping of Riley’s joints as she sits up and stretches. The meteors are more frequent now, nearly two a minute. Most are quick, bright flashes, but a few are slower, gracefully crossing the sky before burning up.

“Riley stop blocking the view,” Bozer says, kicking her in the back. Riley flops back down.

A massive, glowing meteor arcs across the sky in slow motion, lingering for a few seconds before winking out of existence. “Wow,” Riley whispers, smiling.

Wow is an understatement. Mac would’ve driven all the way out here for that meteor alone.

Mac keeps his eyes trained on the heavens until the sky lightens and the first rays of sunlight stretch across the desert. The air seems to hum, the way it always does in announcement of the scorching summer sun.

When they pile into the truck, Mac blasts the air conditioner. He’s already sweating, even though it’s barely six am. As he drives out of the campground and toward the highway, Bozer rattles off suggestions for where to stop for breakfast burritos on the way home.

Apparently content to let Bozer decide, Riley demands, “Wake me up when you have my burrito. Goodnight.” Mac glances at her in the rearview mirror and smiles; she’s sprawled across the pillows and blankets, already fast asleep.

#beth writes #quarantine moments #macgyver #angus macgyver #riley davis #wilt bozer #macgyver fanfiction

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staticscreenwriting · 3 years

Text

The loneliest time of the year || Part two

Part 2 of 4

Summary: With a broken heart and the fear of having failed as a father, Frankie returns to his parents house for Christmas. What is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year feels quite lonely. Though when an old friend shows up unexpectedly with her young son in tow, Frankie’s Christmas seems to gain a little more happiness. Can they help each other fight the ghosts of their pasts and overcome their fears ?

A/N: This is part of my 12 days of Christmas / Advent special. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated.

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Four messed up pies

By the morning of December 9th a heavy blanket of snow rests upon the world like a tick coat of marshmallow fluff.

A restlessness surges through Frankie as he turns from his left to his right to his back then repeats the process all over again. He kicks away the blankets then pulls them back. Sleep doesn’t come easy these days. In fact sleep hasn’t come easy in a while. It’s a price you have to pay for leading the life he leads, has led. For doing the job he did. You see things, bad things, and they stay with you. Not always but in the quiet moments they creep back into your mind and all you can do is stare and hope they fade again soon. Fill your brain with other things. Occupy your mind.

It’s moments like these that his fingers are twitching and his body is aching for release. For something to numb his mind. Help him forget.

There aren’t a lot of things that Frankie is proud of. In fact he can count them on one hand. One of them is his ability to fly. He's a damn good pilot … most of the time. (He is when someone doesn’t force him to navigate an overloaded plane across the Andes). He’s proud of Rosie. Despite his flaws and shortcomings he managed to create something so utterly perfect, that’s something to be proud of. And the. There’s the little coin in the pocket of his jacket. The one he fumbles with whenever he’s anxious or stressed. It’s gold and smooth and it proudly displays a big number 10 in the middle of a triangle on the front of the coin.

10 months. That’s a proud achievement.

It could be more. It should be more! He really tried but after coming home from Colombia, one man less than they went in, after his girlfriend broke up with him and took Rosie with her. After everything. He needed the psi to stop. Just for one goddamn minute. He felt immediate regret wash over him when he woke up the next morning. Called Pope. Entered a 12 step program.

10 months and he feels better. He likes himself more now. But in those 10 months the voices have gotten louder, the images clearer, his heart feels heavier.

With sleep being so far out of reach, he kicks off the blanket and drags his body out of bed. The smell of coffee hits his nose as soon as he steps out of his room, it drifts from the kitchen all the way up the stairs.

His parents are sitting by the kitchen counter, mom holding onto a big steaming mug of coffee while his dad is deeply invested in the morning. Paper, glasses perched low on his nose. This is home, it sends him straight back to his childhood. If only, he thinks, if only he could provide this sense of warmth and domesticity for his own child.

A knock on the front door shakes him from his thoughts. As he swings it open, a sharp sting of cold winter air whips at him, nips at his nose, his ears and his bare feet.

“Frankie hey, oh sorry did I wake you?”

(Y/N) is once again bundled up in layers of cozy clothes, keeping her warm and sheltered from the harsh weather. She looks cute. Absolutely fucking adorable. But in that moment, he doesn’t really notice that. Doesn’t notice Leo standing behind her either. His entire attention rests on the steaming pie she holds in her hands.

“You made a pie?”

“She made 4.” Leo speaks up, his voice dripping with irritation and annoyance.

“Thanks for throwing me under the bus, dude!”

Frankie regards the exchange with a fond smile pulling at the corners of his lips. There’s something so distinctly familiar in the way she interacts with her son, so unapologetically her. The way she’s always been. But now grown up entirely. A mother.

“Why did you make 4 pies?” He asks, eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Well I didn’t plan on making 4. The first one I mistook salt for sugar so you can imagine how it tasted. The second one I put way too much sugar in, might’ve been trying to compensate for my mistake with the first one but yeah that one did end up in the trash as well. The third … well I got pretty invested in an episode of unsolved mysteries and forgot it was in the oven so it turned out um — “

“Black. It was burned to a crisp.” Leo chimes up again, this time more amused than annoyed by his mother’s baking escapades.

“Yeah. It burned. But number 4 is looking pretty good.”

She looks up at Frankie with a smile so radiant it rivals the sun reflecting on the snowy ground. Pride shines in her eyes as she holds the pie towards him.

“Did you make me a pie?”

“Not exactly. It’s mostly for your folks. They agreed to watch this one while I got shopping for his Christmas presents.” (Y/N) explains, her tumb motioning towards the little boy over her shoulder. “This is a thank you to them for being literal angels. “

“Oh man you wouldn’t be saying that if you had to live with them growing up. I can’t tell you how many times dad unplugged my console while I was in the middle of a game.”

It’s a joke, of course it is. He really lucked out in the parents department and he’s not too proud or too shy to admit it. Maybe, he thinks, the good parent gene might’ve skipped a generation with him. His ex will surely agree with that statement.

“Hey uh — you mind having some company while shopping ?”

“You wanna go shopping for toys?”

“I need to get some presents for my daughter.”

“Oh that’s right, you have a kid too. “

He doesn’t blame her for not remembering. He doesn’t strike people as the father type. And really, he hasn’t seen his little one in quite some time.doesn’t see her during the entire Christmas time. Is he really much of a father anyway?

“Sure yeah! I’d love some company.”

Maybe, Frankie thinks, this will help him drown out the voice. Those that tell him bad thoughts, whisper mean things. Maybe it will help him filter out the images. The blood. The suffering.

Frankie was never overly fond of the extreme commercialization of what should be a peaceful family holiday. But maybe this year he is,a little bit at least. Because those bright colors, the loud noises, the crowds, the ads assaulting you from every corner, that all will help drown out the dark. At least for a moment.

“Alright lemme just get changed real quick.”

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Five days a week

“What the fuck is this?”

“It’s uh … it’s a … a game?”

“A game where you have to catch a piece of … poop.”

A wave of laughter tumbles from (Y/N)’s lips as Frankie holds up the brightly colored box, proudly displaying a drawing of a smiling turd.

“It’s so dumb. And that says a lot coming from me, I can appreciate a good fart joke. But this is …. this is just dumb. “

“ It's what the kids these days want. I guess …”

“Would you buy this for Leo?”

“Absolutely not,” (Y/N) replies before taking the box from his hand and placing it back on the shelf between several more games of a similar kind. “But he wouldn’t like it anyway. Leo likes books and animals and fantasy movies. He’s so smart sometimes I wonder where he got it from.”

“You kidding me?” Frankie exclaims, “you’re so smart and if I remember correctly, you always carried around books when you were younger.”

(Y/N) just shrugs at his words though Frankie can’t make out a faint blush of red dusting her cheeks. “Leo is such an easy kid, always has been. Sometimes I wonder if that’s really the way he is or if he just tries to be that way because of me. Because he knows that I have to do all the parenting by myself and he feels he’s responsible for helping me along.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re doing good with him. Least you know what to get him for Christmas, what he cares about, what he’s interested in.”

His heart feels so heavy. His words seem to weigh down on his tongue like a stack of bricks. To admit your own failures to yourself is one thing, to admit them to someone else is quite another story.

“What do you mean ?”

“I — I have no idea what to get for Rosie. I don’t even know when I’ll see her next. She stays with her mom 5 days a week. I only get her on the weekends and even then her mom often finds a reason not to let her stay. Special occasions? I don’t get to spend those with her. Bet she doesn’t even recognize me anymore next time. She’s just a baby …”

This can’t be happening. He’s not going to start crying in the middle of a Toys R Us like a hyperactive toddler on a temper tantrum. Not in front of a beautiful girl who has been nothing but kind to him. This can’t be happening.

(Y/N)’s hand settles on his arm with a gentle touch. Almost as if she’s afraid he’ll break any minute now. And honestly, he might.

“Tell me about Rosie. I know she means the world to you and that’s all that matters Frankie. You’re trying. You’re trying so hard and I’m sure there’s lots about her that you know that no one else does. She’s your baby too. So tell me about her and we’ll figure out what to get her.”

And so they sit down on a swing set, one that’s definitely not meant for adults to sit on and have deep discussions, and Frankie starts talking. Once he starts it’s like a cork has been popped. It pours out of him, all of his pride and admiration and love for Rosie. All that has been brewing for so long now bubbles over.

“... and she, she loves cuddling onto my chest and just listens to me. She doesn’t understand a word but she looks at me with her big beautiful eyes and it feels like I’m telling her all the biggest secrets of the universe the way she looks at me. Sometimes I sing and she — she falls asleep immediately.”

“That’s adorable.”

“Nah I think it's because my rendition of Eric Clapton is just real bad and boring.”

Their laughter is quiet, almost as if they are afraid of breaking the spell of this moment. Sometimes you find yourself at your most vulnerable during the big moments of your life and sometimes you do in the middle of a Toys R Us, sitting on a swingest that just barely holds your weight while a plastic giraffe looks over your shoulder and Kacey Musgrave’s rendition of “I’ll be home for Christmas” plays over the same overhead speakers that have been installed there in 1983.

“I just don’t want to disappoint her.”

He’s already disappointing himself and that hurts bad enough.

“Frankie, let me be honest with you. She’s a baby, she’s not gonna care what you get for her. This is more about you than her. Whatever you get she’s gonna like it. Babies are easy to please, gets harder the older they get. We’ll find something cute for her but um … I think you should call her.”

“She’s a baby, she doesn’t have a phone yet.”

“ Really? I had Leo on a newborn data plan the second he popped out.”

Frankie raises his eyebrow in confusion.

“I was joking you dingus. Of course you’re gonna call her mom. There’s this thing, I don’t know if you’ve heard about it, it’s called FaceTime. You can actually see ther person on the other side. “

“ Very funny. I know what facetime is … “

“ Then call them. You said it yourself, the little one doesn’t understand a word of what you’re saying but that doesn’t matter. You’re there. You’re showing interest and taking initiative. It shows you care. And I think seeing her might be good for you too, even if it’s not in person.”

“ You know, that sounds like a pretty good plan. “

“ Yeah? “ she asks him, a hopeful glimmer in her eyes, in her voice, in her entire being.

“ Yeah. “

“ Alright! Now let’s go find some presents for the little princess. May I suggest a cellphone? “

This time her laughter isn’t quite. It’s loud and radiant and the way her own joke amuses herself, is so goddamn endearing to Frankie.

“ Ah shut up. “ he replies though his voice too is dipped in amusement as he throws his arm around her shoulders and they walk down the shiny linoleum floor, past dolls and teddy bears and Star Wars action figures.

And it feels right. Like the fit together perfectly. Like puzzle pieces slotting into place.

And that feeling is damn scary.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Six-hour flights.

The floor of (Y/N)’s living room is covered in wrapping paper. Reds and greens and silvers and golds hide what once was a nice dark cherry wood floor. There are bows and ribbons and gift tags in all shapes and sizes and colors.

“ Looks like Santa’s workshop in here, “ Frankie exclaims as he drops down on the floor next to her. All the presents they’ve purchased, neatly lined up in front of them, ready to be wrapped. Though to be fair, Frankie is quite sure he’s not gonna do a lot of wrapping himself. Sometimes you gotta admit defeat. And he ain’t too proud to admit that he is a horrible, horrible wrapper.

“ Yeah, I know I’m making a big fuss over things like this. Wrapping and the tree and stuff like that. I just — I don’t know it just makes me happy when I see that my actions put a smile on the faces of the people I love. “

“ Oh I wasn't judging. It’s sweet. “

For a while they stay in comfortable silence. Just them and the radio playing old Christmas songs. (Y/N)’s hands do quick work on the presents, Santa’s elves would be jealous.

It’s the first time in a long time, that silence doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable. That it doesn’t open up the gates for the voices to grow louder and the bad images to consume his head. No, this silence feels comfortable. It’s soft and warm. It’s tinted in golds and reds.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe seeking the company of someone who exudes joy and warmth does him good. Someone who knows him but not the bad. Never the bad. The faults, yes, the fears even, but not the blood that stains his hands or the vices he so desperately tries to fight.

“ What was the best Christmas present you ever got? “ (Y/N) speaks up as she glides a pair of scissors along the ribbon turning it into shiny curls.

“ Millennium Falcon playset.”

“ You and a million other little boys. “

“True. What can I say, I was easily pleased. What was yours ?”

(Y/N) thinks for a moment before a wistful smile settles on her face.

“My bubblegum pink roller skates.”

“Oh, I remember those!”

And he did. Squeaky pink roller skates with 4 pastel blue wheels and glittery silver laces.

“I remember the following summer all you did was skate up and down the street. “

“Yeeeah but that wasn’t entirely because of the skates.”

Frankie combs his hair from his face, he really needs to get it cut, and looks at her in confusion. “Huh?”

Another chuckle falls from (Y/N) ‘s lips. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice.”

“ Notice what?”

“That I had the biggest crush on you.”

Frankie is grateful for the fact that he’s not taking a sip of his drink right then, it surely would’ve ended in a spit-take. He was a nerdy kid, a nerdy teenager too. Kinda shy, a little lost. He wasn’t usually the boy that girls fancied.

“Me? You had a crush on me? “

It doesn’t make sense, not really. She was the one that was fascinating and exciting. Though he didn’t think of her that way when they were kids, he knew she was beautiful even back then. He hadn’t been interested in her romantically because she was a few years younger but that didn’t meanie didn’t realize the magic she held.

“Yes, you. You were cool, Frankie. You were older and you knew stuff about cars and planes and you could name every Star Wars spaceship and you had a skateboard. “

“I was a horrible skater.”

“Sure but it wasn’t so much about the skating as it was about the aesthetic. You were cool and you still are cool”

Frankie shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly. She thought he was cool, still does. No one ever thought he was cool. He isn’t a smooth talker like Pope and even he himself can admit that look wise he isn’t even playing in the same league as Will and Benny. But if (Y/N) thinks he’s cool that must mean something. Right ?

“You were the one traveling all over the world with your dad and you thought I was cool?”

She sets down the scissors, let’s her hands rest on her lap. There’s a sense of nervousness exuding from her now. Like the words she wants to speak are resting on the tip of her tongue and yet they are so difficult to speak.

“Maybe that was part of it too. I never had a real home. Nothing stable at least. Except for my grandparents’ house. This was home and you were, you are, forever entwined with my idea of home. Sometimes I missed this place so much that I’d sit in my room and my little brain would think of all the fun adventures we could go on if only I was old enough to hop on a 6 hour flight by myself. I’d ask grandma about you every time I called and she always told me what trouble you got into.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yeah and that only made you more exciting in my eyes. Then she’d offer to let me speak to you but I was too chicken shit to do it. Thought you might look right through my facade and realize how into you I was.”

“I was so oblivious, I can assure you I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Well … it’s too late now.”

“I guess so. Just — next time you fall in love with me let me know, alright.”

Her laugh rings through the room like bells, like songs, like whispers of a childhood magic long forgotten.

“That only sounds fair. It’s a deal.”

“Good, now …. would you mind wrapping my gifts for Rosie?”

“Nope, but in return would you come see Leo’s play with me next week? My dad can’t come and I think Leo would like to have some more people there that support him. And he seems to think you’re cool so …”

“Huh guess if you both think so it must be true.”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Of course I’ll come. “

She smiles and it sends a weird flicker through him. Like fire, like electricity.

“ Now let me teach you how to curl the ribbon properly.”

#francisco morales x reader #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #frankie morales x you #francisco morales imagine #frankie morales imagines #triple frontier imagine #triple frontier imagines #catfish imagine #catfish x reader #catfish x you #jos2020xmasspecial

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densi-mber · 3 years

Text

Frozen, Part 3

A/N: Here is the third and final part of Frozen.

When we were last with Densi, they were facing impending hypothermia and Deeks had just suggested naked cuddling.

***

“Deeks, this is not a time for jokes,” Kensi sighed, or she tried to. It came out as more of a croak, her throat dry and hoarse from the cold. Each word made her throat ache, like it was being tore from her.

“Who’s joking? I am completely serious,” he insisted. “Skin-to-skin is proven to be one of the best defenses against the cold.”

Kensi rolled her eyes, not really sure why she was protesting, but not feeling like giving in. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to admit the situation was as dire as it seemed.

“We have the fire.”

“And it’s barely providing any heat.” He stepped closer and tipped her chin up. His fingers were red, but still made Kensi’s skin burn with the difference in heat. “Face it, Kens. Our clothes are soaked, we’re quickly heading towards stage three frostbite and impending hypothermia and if we don’t do something soon, we’re going to start loosing appendages. And I happen to like my fingers and toes. As well as a couple of other essential parts.”

Pulling in a small breath that burned her throat, Kensi glanced at the fire. Damn it but Deeks was right. She could barely feel it even from half a foot away and she was freezing.

“Fine,” she said, finally relented. “But we need to stoke up the fire and have things set up so we don’t have to get up a bunch.”

“Sweet. I’ve always wanted to spoon for survival.” Deeks ignored her glare in favor of moving the cot closer to the fire. She watched him for a moment, worried that he was straining himself too much. Even with the liquid stitches, he could reopen the cut which would put him at risk of more bleeding and possible infection.

Worry wasn’t going to save them though so she pushed those thoughts away, and added several more pieces of wood to the fire, moving the rest in easy reaching distance of the cot.

Kensi had a roll of string in backpack and together they ran it across the room to hand their wet clothes on and then tucked the three, depressingly thin, blankets around the thin mattress on the cot. By the time they were finished, her fingers were barely moving, and she felt increasingly lethargic.

She fumbled with the zipper on her coat, grabbing at the pull several times without any success. Deeks already had his boots and coat off.

“Oh baby, come here,” he said, noticing her struggle. Kensi was cold enough to let him lead her to the cot and not resist when he began tugging off her boots. She gasped when the cold air hit her now less protected feet. “Sorry.”

Deeks grimaced as he removed her coat, jeans and t-shirt, revealing more reddened skin. He stripped off his own thermal shirt, which was partially dry near the shoulders and used it to dry some of the moisture from her damp hair, which was frozen in icy tangles around her face.

At any other time, she would be distracted by the sight of him half naked and kneeling in front of her while he slowly undressed her. Now she just wanted to get them both under the covers as quickly as possible.

Wordlessly, Deeks left her to finish undressing and to hang up their clothes then dried his hair with one sleeve of his shirt. Kensi slid under the covers as he ran over in just his underwear and crawled in beside her. He tossed his boxer briefs over the side of the cot a second later, making a face.

“Never liked those anyway,” he commented, drawing the layers of blankets over their heads.

“Get over here,” Kensi croaked out, drawing him closer. She hissed at the initial contact, feeling like her skin was burning, but knew it was a good sign that she wasn’t completely numb. Deeks wrapped his arm tightly around her, his hands resting on her lower back, and intertwined their legs, creating a barrier all around her.

Cradled in his arms, she felt marginally warmer, but there was a fine tremor running through her now. Deeks held her even tighter, like he could somehow will away her hypothermia induced tremors.

“God, this would be so much more fun in Malibu,” he sighed a few minutes later. “You could wear that blue bikini of yours, the one that almost got us kicked out of Mammoth last year. I’d even break out my short shorts. Just laying out in the sun, surfing, and eating fish tacos.”

“I think you’d turn into a fish taco if I let you.” Her skin still ached a little but the combination of their bodies pressed together and a tiny of heat coming from the fire was starting to thaw her bit by bit.

Deeks contorted his head to look down at her, his expression skeptical.

“Uh, I seem to remember you were the one who ate six tacos all on your own last time.”

“I didn’t have any lunch that day,” she explained reasonably. Drips of cool water were beginning to trickle down her back from her thawing hair. She shivered again and burrowed a little further into Deeks’ arms, tucking her head between his shoulder and head.

“Mm, we probably should have eaten something before we got naked,” he said, his voice sounding slow and deeper than normal. It made her think of the sun, laying on the beach like he’d described.

“I’m not hungry.” She let out a giant yawn, wanting nothing more than to close her eyes.

“We can’t fall asleep,” Deeks muttered right before her eyes slipped shut.

***

“We should come here more often,” Kensi said, her voice light and dreamy as she trailed her fingers up Deeks’ chest. The sun beat down on his head while waves gently crashed against the shore. He swung both legs up onto their lawn chair so Kensi straddled his thighs. He fiddled with the blue string of her bikini and she smiled mischievously, leaning to whisper in his ear.

“Go ahead, no one’s around.”

Just as he was loosening the knot, a figure bent over them, blocking out the sun.

“You got a pulse?”

“I think they’re just asleep.” A hand shook Deeks’ shoulder and he turned away from it, wincing as a blast of cold hair hit his face. “Deeks, wake up.” He popped one eye open, trying to figure out what Callen was doing at the beach with him and Kensi. And why it was suddenly freezing.

“Callen?” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. He tried to sit up, inadvertently flipping the covers off Kensi. She yelped and sat up suddenly, looking around with a wild expression.

“Callen, Sam, what are you doing here?” she said, her words a little slurred as she tried to pull the blanket up around her shoulders.

“We tracked you using the GPS in your phones,” Callen answered. “Nell got worried when you didn’t check in yesterday.”

“Thank god for Nell.”

“Unbelievable,” Sam said, coming to stand beside Callen. “In the middle of a blizzard and you still can’t keep your clothes on.”

“We were huddling for warmth,” Deeks said, trying to sound dignified while he started shivering again. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s like 10 degrees out there.”

“And you just had to get completely naked.”

“Our clothes were wet,” Kensi said, brushing a handful of hair back. It was completely disheveled, sticking out in several places, and he had to resist the urge to lean over and kiss her.

“Speaking of clothes, you wouldn’t happen to have a some, by chance.” He leaned over and plucked at his shirt which was torn and still damp. “And maybe a parka or two?”

“We got you covered,” Callen said with an amused smirk. “Sam, you want to call Nell and let her know we found them?”

“I’ll get her to send a medivac too since we’re never getting an ambulance all the way out here anytime soon,” Sam added, eyeing the wads of discarded gauze and bandages. “Which one of you knuckleheads got hurt?”

Kensi immediately pointed to Deeks, having no problem selling him out.

“He’s got a 2 1/2 inch cut, not too deep, but it was pretty bloody,” she reported. “I did my best with the medical glue. He still might need some stitches though.”

“Traitor,” Deeks said and Kensi shrugged, patting his shoulder with mock sympathy. Sam walked off to call Nell while Callen pulled sweatshirts and pants from his backpack and tossed them on the cot.

“I’ll give you guys a couple minutes.” He turned go, but then turned back, gesturing between them. “If I hear anything even remotely suspicious going on in here, I’m tasing both of you.”

Kensi made a scandalized sound as Deeks shivered beside her, his hands tucked in his armpits.

“Believe me, this is one of the few times where sex sounds absolutely unappealing,” he assured Callen.

They dressed quickly, moving out of the relative warmth of the blankets as little as possible. Once they were clothed again, Deeks tugged Kensi against him, kissing her firmly.

“I’m really glad we didn’t freeze to death,” Kensi said as he held her tightly. “Or lose any...appendages,” she added with a smirk. He picked Kensi up, intending to carry her from the cabin, and then abruptly sank back down with a grimace.

“Ok, maybe we should go to the hospital,” he decided, clutching at his stomach as something twinged and possibly tore. Kensi helped him back down to the bed with a sigh.

“Well, I guess we’re not going to Malibu this weekend.” Deeks groaned again, his dreams of sun and bikinis quickly evaporating.

“I hate snow,” he said vehemently.

#densimber 2020 #densimber 4.0 #densi #densimber day 27 #ncis la fanfiction #fluff #kensi and Deeks whump #Sam and Callen to the rescue #by ejzah

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alolowrites · 4 years

Text

Cuddling Through the Seasons

Summary: Fatgum’s cuddles never go out of season

Author’s Note: This is my third story for the @bnhabookclub’s Hero Camp Bingo event. This was also a request from @bnha-homeroom (sorry it took so long!)

The prompt used was Cuddles and this is my first story for Fatgum. Hopefully I’ll do more stories for this guy because he’s deserves the best.

Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.6K+

Spring

High in the sky rests the glorious bright sun. It’s golden rays shine through the vibrant pink flowers blooming on every tree, emphasizing their natural beauty. Two birds playfully chase each other in between the branches, their lovely chirps in harmony with the soothing sounds of the gentle stream below—Mother Nature is simply a lady with many hidden talents.

Although the grass maintains a healthy green coat, it too is covered by fresh cherry blossom petals blown off the trees—it adds a beautiful pop to the land. Few people arrive and wander through the peaceful park. Some snap a couple of pictures on their phones, their bodies bent in odd angles to capture that perfect Instagram-worthy shot. Others silently take in the whole scenery with their eyes and save the mental image deep in their memory jar—that’s how you are enjoying today with Taishiro.

Both of you sit under a tree that is different from the others; it’s branches are abundant, and some hang charmingly over the water. A quick wind blows through the park, tugging the delicate petals until one slowly falls to the stream. Everything is serene, almost like an abstract landscape painting on display at an art museum.

Closing your eyes, you sink in deeper into Taishiro’s plump chest. A relaxed sigh escapes his lips as you enjoy your massive pillow. His large arms wrap around you like a snuggly safety belt—they are protective and warm. Your fingers affectionately glide up and down his sweater to the beat of the stream. You hum, “Everything is so beautiful.”

Taishiro leans back on the thick tree trunk and glances at you; he cheekily grins, “That’s ‘cause you’re here, darlin’. The cherry blossoms are a nice touch, though.”

You roll your eyes, “You’re such a cheesy guy, you know that?”

“Yeah, but that’s what you love ‘bout me.”

“That is very true,” you playfully tap his arm, smirking up at him. Another cherry blossom falls and lands on top of your head. Taishiro raises on hand to carefully pluck it off your hair and holds it high against the sunlight. The flower is so soft and just the right shade of pink. He thinks it’s perfect, just like you.

Taishiro shows the sakura petal to you, “Here’s a little present.”

Your heart swells, a tiny blush dusting your cheeks as you reach for the flower. You take a whiff of the sweet aroma and lean back against your living pillow. Squeezing the hero’s hand, you look up to flash him a faint smile, “Thank you.”

You never let go of the cherry blossom petal.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

Summer

Far in the distance lies the vast calm sea. Ocean waves creep steadily toward the fine white sand, kissing the land hello before returning outward. Light puffy clouds float along the peaceful cerulean sky, morphing into different images at the hands of your wild imagination. It’s a fun way to pass the time and relax the mind.

You inhale the fresh, natural air—it smells like freedom. The city’s chaotic and bustling streets are an afterthought. The prying eyes of paparazzi and other media hounds are thousands of miles away from your paradise home. The avalanche stress tied with Taishiro’s hero lifestyle vanishes when the two of you step on the warm sand.

“Whatcha’ thinkin’ about, darlin’?” His voice is loud but soothing at the same time. You feel the gigantic teddy bear stand behind you. It wasn’t long until Taishiro traps you into his loving embrace, giving you a quick squeeze. Your toes wiggle into the smooth sand as a sharp wind whistles by; the waves hear it and crash against the shoreline.

“How a place like this,” you nod toward the dancing water, “somehow exists. It’s almost as if I’m dreaming—” You yelp at the slight pinch, and Taishiro roars with laughter. You crane your neck up to glare at him, “What was that for?”

“Well you’re not dreamin’, that’s for sure.” You elbow into his stomach knowing entirely well it did not phase him at all. Taishiro retaliates by hugging you harder, enjoying the delightful squeals ringing into the semi-deserted beach. Other tourists linger around, but the land is so spacious that you barely see them. It’s easy to think you two are alone with all the privacy in the world, an idea that doesn’t exist back at home—a small price to pay while being a pro hero.

In a way, Taishiro is glad this moment is not a dream. It won’t fade away once he wakes up, but will stay in his memory for a long time. Just as you calm down, a mischievous grin crosses the hero’s lips, and his grip tightens around your waist. You had a bad feeling about this and clenched his hands, “Hey…what are you doing—”

“Hold on!”

“Don’t you dare!”

Your words fall on deaf ears as he effortlessly carries you in his arms and charges toward the sea that is waiting to greet you both.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

Autumn

Bright yellow lanterns glow above the narrow streets, gently swaying back and forth without a care in the world. Luscious pampas grass decorate the roofs, the creamy-white feathery plumes waving hello to everyone passing through the area. A chubby hand reaches upward; the baby is determined to grab the mesmerizing fluffy grass until something else catches their eye.

An elegant pyramid of tsukimi dango neatly sits on a black plate. There are fifteen white dumplings, each perfectly round and white as the precious moon gleaming tonight. A crowd grows around the delicious display, making it nearly impossible to squeeze through the sardine bodies. Fortunately, the group departs when they see Fatgum approaching with his hearty smile, and you follow closely behind—sometimes being a hero has its perks.

Taishiro greets everyone until a middle-aged man freaks out from his stall, “It’s an honor to meet you, Fatgum! Thank you for keeping our streets safe!”

“It’s no problem really—”

“Please take these dumplings! They’re on the house!”

Taishiro gives you a side-glance, and you shrug. Who were you to deny some free food, especially if they are those moon-like dumplings? You grab the plate from the man’s trembling hands and bow. The hero safely guides you away from the crowd and spots an empty grass field. Plopping down, you dramatically groan, “That was so much walking!”

“Sorry, darlin’! Guess I got a lil carried away,” he chuckles while scratching his forehead. Taishiro takes a seat behind you.

“I think that’s an understatement, but,” you gleefully raise the plate that barely reached his eyes, “we got free dumplings!”

“They do look good,” Taishiro hums and takes one round treat. You plop the tsukimi dango in your mouth, the rice flavor surprisingly strong, yet pleasing to your tastebuds—it’s a chewy delight. The pyramid crumbles in seconds, and you scoot back to rest your head against the gentle giant; out of instinct, he cradles you in his arms.

A chilly air blows by and makes you shiver despite wearing a cashmere sweater. Taishiro notices and shifts his posture to shield you from the cold—a small act that melts your heart every time. You gaze at the luminous moon until your eyes struggle to stay awake; it doesn’t help that Taishiro feels like all toasty like a fleece blanket.

It definitely was all that walking, and you yawn before dozing off in his arms.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

Winter

Snow showers rain down on your quiet neighborhood. The bare tree branches scoff at the fluffy cotton balls falling from the sky; they barely weighed more than a feather. An hour later, the branches are slouching under the heavyweight and weeping for mercy—but the snow never stops.

A thin white blanket hides the dull, gray streets and vibrant decorations flourish to their heart’s content. Tiny bells chime once Jack Frost blows a chilly wind down the sidewalks. Thick garlands covered in elegant ribbons stretch for miles on some apartment balconies. And others hung colorful Christmas lights that flicker to a very jolly tune.

In a way, the snow ties everything together to bring out the pleasant holiday mood—it’s simply magical. Two pairs of footsteps, one small like a mouse and the other the size of a giant, imprint themselves on the powdery sidewalk. You waddle toward the apartment with arms bundled around yourself; you’re craving for something warm. Any minute longer outside and your legs will permanently turn into icicles.

“O-open t-the do-or, p-please,” you chatter through your teeth while bouncing nonstop. Taishiro chuckles and you glare at him, making his grin widen more. You barge in once he unlocks the door and dust off the snow on your coat. Hasty footsteps rush to the kitchen so you could warm the teapot as quickly as possible.

Taishiro shakes his head—you quickly get cold. He relaxes on the couch, not bothering to change out of his Santa costume; if anything, the clothes are comfortable and roomy. You wander into the living room and shiver up a storm. A gloved hand beckons for you, “Come over here, darlin’.”

Shuffling toward the mellow hero, he pulls you on top of him. Without hesitation, his arm wraps around you to keep you steady. One ear sits above his chest, and you focus on the faint sound of his heartbeat. Not even the Santa costume could mask Taishiro’s alluring honeydew scent, which drives you crazy. You contently sigh, “You made so many kids smile today, hun.”

“I’m glad,” he answers while stroking your hair, “Those kids at the hospital deserve all the happiness in the world, ya’ know?”

“Yeah…” A finger lazily draws out imaginary lines along Taishiro’s red velvet coat. An involuntary shiver runs down his spine. Only your charming touches could make him react like this, and he savors them all. You raise your head and squirm closer to the hero’s face. With loving eyes, you whisper, “You make a fantastic Santa Claus.”

“Fantastic enough to get a kiss from Mrs. Claus?”

“Sure,” you giggle and pull down his fake white beard. As you plant a sweet kiss on his lips, you decide that you no longer needed that nice hot cup of tea.

Third prompt is crossed off. Which one will be next? Stay tune! Thank you for reading!

Previous prompt: Betrayal

Hero Camp Bingo Masterlist

#fatgum x reader #fat gum x reader #taishiro toyomitsu #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnhabookclub #hero camp bingo #cuddles #fluff

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rafael-silva · 3 years

Text

guide me back (I’m lost without your light): a tarlos fic

“All available units respond to a 10-50 at the intersection of Sixth and North Lamar Boulevard. Multiple vehicle pile up.” “Dispatch, this is 363-H-20 responding. ETA three minutes.”

When Carlos and Mitchell respond to the call, the last thing Carlos expects is to find TK in the middle of the wreck. He races against time to keep TK awake and stable until fire and medical arrive, while sending out prayer after prayer that his time with TK hasn’t been cut short. That they haven’t run out of time.

for bad things happen bingo: tarlos + bloodstained clothes

hurt tk strand, worried carlos reyes, established relationship, whump, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, kisses, blood, injury description, major character injury, angst with a happy ending

10.1k | on ao3

*****

“All available units respond to a 10-50 at the intersection of Sixth and North Lamar Boulevard. Multiple vehicle pile up.”

“Dispatch, this is 363-H-20 responding. ETA three minutes.”

The sun sits high in the sky as Carlos grips the steering wheel tightly while Mitchell releases her radio and flicks on the light bar and siren, blaring loudly as they head into the heart of downtown Austin.

It sounded serious, if all available units are being dispatched to the scene, meaning fire engines are being dispatched, too. Carlos fleetly wonders if the 126 will be called to the scene, but he knows he won’t be seeing TK since it’s the paramedic’s day off.

It’s difficult when one of them is working and the other is off; at least if they were both working, there are always chances of them meeting on calls, and if they were both off, well, those days were spent in utter happiness together, either spent in or out, it didn’t matter as long as they were spent together. They make it work, however, spending as much time together before one of them goes to work and then at night, cuddling on the couch or in bed, safe in each other’s arms after a long day.

Carlos hopes the accident isn’t as grave as he’s imagining but his gut is telling him otherwise. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he realizes there’s a big possibility he might be late for the home dinner date he and TK had planned. TK had said he had a surprise for Carlos, and was clearly super excited about it. Carlos was looking forward to it and now…

Carlos’s gut is proven right when they round the corner and he catches sight of the crash from a few blocks away. Dread sets in his stomach the closer they get to the scene, other police cruisers pulling up at the same time.

He might need to tell TK that his shift may run long. He holds back at that, though, first wanting to get a full feel of how the rest of his shift will pan out.

Carlos parks and shares a concerned look with his partner before drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. They hop out of the car and Carlos takes a quick survey of their surroundings, noticing that they had arrived at the scene before fire and medical.

Carlos starts moving towards where the accident is the worst, and well, it’s bad. Four cars seem to have harshly rear ended each other, the crushed metal an indication of how sudden and quick it had happened. He can’t really tell one car from the other, all of them mangled together in a way that tells Carlos there are definitely more than a few injuries sustained to the people who were in these cars.

He doesn’t have much time to draw any more conclusions because he’s frantically being flagged down by a man around his own age, who seems unharmed. Bystander, Carlos’s mind supplies.

Carlos jogs over as the man takes a few steps towards him and starts speaking.

“He’s stuck,” the man starts, leading Carlos to one of the cars, or what’s left of one, in the middle of the wreck. “The door on one side popped open from the force of the crash but the guy inside can’t move. And we didn’t want to move him. He’s on the opposite side of the backseat and he’s in rough shape, seems to be going in and out of consciousness.”

Carlos swallows and follows him, whoever this man is, Carlos is going to do everything he can to help him until fire and medical arrive.

“It’s good you didn’t move him, that might have caused more damage,” Carlos tells him, his legs moving quickly.

The closer he gets, the more Carlos is hit with a sense of familiarity towards the injured man. He frowns, his heart starting to race in his chest as he zeroes in on the figure slumped in the backseat.

And that side profile, Carlos can draw it with his eyes closed.

He freezes when the realization dawns on him. His legs stop moving, his feet nailed to the asphalt. It feels like his heart is about to leap out of his chest while his eyes go impossibly wide.

TK.

And no, no, no. It can’t be TK. He was just texting him less than twenty minutes ago. He’s worried his brain is playing a cruel trick on him, conjuring up this nightmare. Carlos shakes his head, earning himself a confused look from the man leading him, who has also stopped moving.

But Carlos doesn’t spare him a glance, his attention solely held by the man in the crushed car. And when said man weakly opens his eyes and they catch some light, Carlos knows beyond a doubt that this nightmare is in fact reality.

Those green eyes, even seeing them from the side and through an awkward angle, can only belong to the love of his life.

“No,” Carlos whispers as his heart plummets into his knees, his body heating up. “No, no,” he repeats and then his feet are finally moving again, and he’s running around another car, his eyes not leaving TK.

He briefly registers the man’s growing confusion but he just rushes past him, no time for explanation, the only thing mattering to him is getting to TK. Saving TK.

He only slows down when he’s right by TK’s side, with only the smashed door separating them. The window is shattered, the ground littered with broken pieces of glass that crunch underneath Carlos’s boots.

TK’s eyes have closed again, but Carlos can see his chest slowly rising and falling with each shallow breath he sucks in.

“TK?” Carlos speaks, the rest of the accident fading away. The movement around is in slow motion, sounds muted, the world narrowing to just him and TK. “TK, can you hear me?”

Carlos can’t even hear his own voice over the blood rushing in his ears, but by the way TK tilts his head an inch towards him, he heard him.

A beat. And then: “‘Los…”

Carlos lets out a breath he wasn’t fully aware he was holding, his shoulders sagging forward a little. “Hey, babe. I’m here, I’m here.”

Carlos runs his eyes over TK, and his heart breaks a little more at the bloody state the paramedic is in.

“I’m stuck,” TK wheezes. “Can’t move.”

“We’ll get you out, just hang on. Help is on the way,” Carlos replies, hoping his voice is steadier than it sounds to his own ears. He then turns his attention to the older man in the front seat. “Sir, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” the man nods. “I’m fine, nothing hurts too bad. The hit was harder from the back.”

Carlos’s fear increases at that piece of information. “You let me know if your pain changes,” he tells him before his attention is back on TK. “TK, can you tell me what hurts?”

“Head, chest…and side,” TK replies through gritted teeth, squeezing his eyes as a wave of pain shocks his nerves, running through his battered body. Everything feels like it’s on fire, every breath he tries to draw in hurts, and he’s tired, he’s so tired.

But he isn’t alone anymore, Carlos is here now. TK is aware that his odds aren’t good, based on his years of work experience, but he finds himself not panicking at that thought as much anymore. Because Carlos is right here. He would even go as far as saying he feels a little calm now, but what he can’t answer is whether that is due to shock or Carlos’s presence. TK decides to believe it’s courtesy of the latter. Because shock would be very bad.

He isn’t aware his eyes have drifted shut until the officer’s voice filters through, telling him to open them and TK manages to peel his eyelids open and faces Carlos’s worried gaze.

“Stay with me,” Carlos pleads, those brown eyes that TK loves so much filled to the brim with terror. “Don’t close your eyes, look at me. Focus on me.”

TK obliges. He loves looking at Carlos, loves running his hands over his face, his cheekbones, feeling Carlos smile against his touch. TK wants to reach out, to smooth out the worry engraved on Carlos’s forehead, in the creases that sit above his eyebrows, but he can’t move a muscle. He wants to reassure Carlos that he’s okay, but not only does he momentarily lose his voice, he also doesn’t know how true his statement would be. Because he’s now suddenly very much aware of the amount of blood running down his side, sticky and hot. The side glued to the crushed door.

He groans, feeling the panic start to rise again. Being stuck was already bad enough, but being stuck while also bleeding is far worse that TK doesn’t even want to think about it.

“Hey, hey,” Carlos’s voice returns. “Focus on me, it’s okay. I know it’s scary, but I’m right here.”

“Carlos,” TK cries out, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Carlos, very carefully, reaches his arm through the busted window, and with just as much caution, cups TK’s face and wipes the stray tear with the pad of his thumb. He’s aware of everything all at once, the way his hand shook as he moved it towards TK, how clammy TK’s skin feels, the beads of sweat rolling down his own neck and back.

“I’m right here.”

TK sniffs and nods as he leans into Carlos’s touch. It’s warm, and TK gravitates towards that warmth. The warmth that has become his home.

Carlos begins cataloging TK’s injuries: a cut near his temple that looks deep enough to need stitches, possible concussion, chest pain can be a result of the seatbelt tightening when the crash happened, but he can’t assess how badly TK’s side is hurt from his current position.

He doesn’t have much time to dwell on that, though, because TK is speaking a few moments later.

“My side…it’s bleeding…” TK murmurs once he’s gathered his voice, his mind suppling that he needs to tell Carlos. “I think it’s bad.”

The small amount of color remaining in Carlos’s face drains at TK’s words, his heart dropping further and it feels like he’s been drenched with a bucket of ice water. His mind freezes for a second before he’s shaking himself out of it. He needs to act, and quick.

“Can you reach it and apply pressure?” Carlos asks. “Easy though, slow movements.”

TK attempts to move his arm towards the injury but quickly grimaces and drops his arm.

“No,” TK’s voice shakes, the slight movement exhausting him further. “Hurts.”

“Shit,” Carlos’s own panic starts taking hold, evident in the way his hands start to shake again. They have to slow the bleeding if TK has any chance of making it out of this nightmare.

Then Carlos remembers that the other door is practically already ripped off the car. Making up his mind, he gives TK’s hand a squeeze and rushes to the other side of the car.

“Hang on, TK, I’m coming,” Carlos says as he quickly assesses the area where the door was once attached to the car.

It looks stable enough and the car isn’t tilted to either side or unbalanced, so Carlos carefully climbs in and pauses to see if his added weight caused any shift. Once there’s no evidence of that, he moves closer to TK, their thighs side by side.

Carlos reaches around TK with his left arm, eyes glued to his middle and surely enough, TK’s t-shirt is stained with blood. The officer has to swallow against his dry throat at the sight, there’s so much blood already and TK is looking paler by the second.

Carlos’s hand finds its target, and his fingers brush against the tip of the metal lodged into TK’s side. He feels sick to his stomach as he begins to apply as much pressure as he could without causing further damage or sinking the metal deeper into TK’s flesh.

TK whines at the pain jolting through his body, waking him up a little as he squeezing his eyes shut, more tears run freely down his face.

“I know, I know,” Carlos speaks, his tone apologetic.

TK’s eyes start to droop, the momentary adrenaline already wearing off and his head falls backwards against the headrest.

“No, no, TK,” Carlos eyes go wide, his voice strained. “Keep your eyes open, stay with me.”

“Carlos…” TK whispers.

“Right beside you, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re his fiancé,” the older man’s voice reaches Carlos’s ears from the front seat.

Carlos turns to face him with a questioning look, his eyes drawing together at the statement.

“He was,” the driver pauses to breathe. “He was talking about you before the crash.”

Carlos sucks in a deep breath through his nose, nodding as his eyes begin to glisten with unshed tears. “Yeah,” he turns back to look at TK. “He’s the love of my life.”

TK is still clinging to consciousness and Carlos receives a small smile from him at his declaration.

“That’s it, baby. Stay with me,” Carlos pleads once more, closing his eyes and gently resting his forehead against TK’s uninjured temple, melting into him.

He keeps a steady hold on TK’s side, and senses TK weakly gravitating towards him even more, Carlos his lifeline. TK uses all his remaining energy to reach out into the small distance and latches his hand onto Carlos’s arm, wrapping his fingers there.

“I got you, Ty, I got you.”

A few moments later, the air around them fills with the roaring of sirens, getting closer and closer.

“Hear that, TK? Help is here,” Carlos says, instilling hope with every word.

He turns his head in the direction of the incoming fire trucks and ambulances, watching as red and blue color everything around. His eyes immediately find the bold 126 painted on the truck that comes to a halt on the edge of the crash site.

“Hey!” Carlos calls out for the young man who lead him here. “Direct them this way!” He nudges his head towards the team who are disembarking from the truck.

The man nods and starts running towards the firefighters.

“Hang on, TK, hang on,” Carlos whispers.

He looks back into the open and relaxes just a fraction when he spots Judd on the man’s heels, jogging towards him.

Carlos can pinpoint the moment Judd realizes who he’s moving towards, the firefighter’s eyebrow raising a little.

“Reyes?” Judd calls out before he’s reached the car.

“Judd, it’s TK,” Carlos wastes no time in responding.

Those three words have Judd’s eyes going wide, his speed picking up and he runs the remaining distance to the car, coming to a stop on the side TK’s jammed.

“He’s stuck and bleeding badly,” Carlos continues, looking past TK and at Judd through the broken window.

“Shit,” Judd mutters and then louder, in the direction of the rig: “Tommy! Nancy!”

Judd’s eyes roam over TK’s ashen face, the younger man’s eyes barely opened.

“Hey, brother,” Judd speaks, his voice carrying its natural strength but also soft and filled with concern. “You’re gonna be alright, just hang on.”

He gets a half-nod from TK in reply.

Tommy and Nancy approach the car, each of them clutching their equipment and medical bags, ready to get to work.

“It’s TK,” Judd tells them when they’re by his side. They both pause midair as they’re lowering the bags, their eyes going equally wide as they process Judd’s words.

Carlos can see the worry flash over their faces and they share a quick look of concern before they both switch back into paramedic mode. He knows what they’re thinking, that they have to be at the top of their game. TK is family, and he can feel their fear and pain, but they need to focus so they can save TK.

They both meet Carlos’s worried eyes before getting to work.

“Hey, TK,” Tommy gets closer to the crushed door, gloves on and clicks her pen light. Her voice is calm and gentle, her motherly tone helps even Carlos relax a little.

“Cap…” TK whispers.

“Follow the light, TK.”

She shines the pen into TK’s glassy eyes, his pupils responding to the light as they should, albeit a little weaker than she’d like.

“Talk to me, Carlos,” Tommy says while her attention is solely focused on TK. “Tell me everything.”

“He said his head, chest and side hurt, his side is bleeding badly. I have pressure on it and I can feel a piece of metal stuck in there,” he swallows, feeling the blood seeping through his fingers. “The bleeding slowed down a little but he’s already lost so much blood.”

Tommy nods, accepting the c-collar from Nancy and carefully placing it around TK’s neck to stabilize him.

Judd looks up when he hears the rest of the crew approaching, and after a brief glance with Carlos, Judd moves in their direction, seeking out Owen.

“Cap,” Judd shields Owen’s view of the wrecked car.

Owen frowns, but immediately sees through Judd’s worried eyes. “What is it?”

Judd takes a deep breath. He has always been a straightforward guy, he won’t start beating around the bush now. “It’s TK, he’s in that car.”

Carlos’s heart breaks even more at the gasp he hears from Owen, followed by rapid footsteps pounding the gravel as the captain rushes over.

He’s at the car from Carlos’s side and looking past his shoulder a few moments later, Owen’s eyes blown wide as they move from his son to his soon to be son-in-law.

“Carlos.”

“His side is bleeding,” Carlos tells Owen, more tears gathering in his eyes. “He couldn’t reach it to apply pressure and I had to do something.”

Owen nods, his eyes going back to TK, who’s barely moving. “It’s gonna be okay, son. You’re gonna be okay. We’re here.”

TK slowly opens his eyes the rest of the way and looks in Owen’s direction through his blurry vision. He tries to send a wordless message to his father and fiancé of I’m okay.

Owen gives him a smile, but it’s shakier than he intended.

“Here,” Tommy’s voice grabs their attention. She hands Carlos a large piece of gauze as Nancy moves to the front to check the driver.

Carlos begins to move, and TK instantly whimpers and tries to keep his already weak hold on the other man.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, TK,” Carlos is quick to reassure him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He maneuvers his free arm to take the piece of cotton and swiftly lifts his bloodied palm to cover TK’s wound with the gauze and returns the pressure there.

The team has gathered what was happening and crowd the car, Carlos is vaguely aware of Judd telling them they’ve got TK and they should go around the rest of the scene to help.

And then Judd is back, evaluating the situation and weighing their options.

“His breathing is getting worse,” Carlos announces with fright as TK’s hold on him starts to falter. “We need to get him out now.”

“The driver is doing okay, Cap,” Nancy chimes in. “Alert and his numbers are holding.”

Tommy nods. “We get TK out first. Carlos, is the metal connected to the door or is it separated?”

Carlos shakes his head. “Separated.”

“That’s good, makes busting the door open easier,” Judd nods.

“Judd, grab the—” Owen begins.

“Jaws, got them,” Judd finishes for Owen before running in the direction of their truck.

He returns less than a minute later, but it feels like forever for Carlos and Owen as they watch TK struggle to hold on.

“Come on, come on,” Owen whispers, his eyes not leaving his son’s battered form as Judd returns, pushes the piece of equipment into the mangled metal and starts to tear it apart.

Tommy and Nancy get the backboard ready in the meantime, ready to move as soon as it’s clear. A lot of movement erupts when the door is finally ripped open. Judd lowers the jaws to the ground, quickly reaching for the cutters he had also retrieved and cuts the seatbelt off TK. It takes Carlos’s brain a second to catch up with all the action and then his eyes land on Owen now standing on the other side behind Judd as both men make room for Tommy and Nancy.

They carefully place the tip of the backboard against the backseat cushion and Nancy and Judd carefully take hold of TK’s shoulders, moving him sideways and then guiding him to lie on the board. Carlos goes with them, the pressure he’s applying constant and he only lets go once he’s certain Nancy’s taking over, her hand firmly covering his.

He pulls back and watches as Judd and Owen carry TK over to the gurney. He wastes no time in getting out of the car himself, darting to TK’s side.

Once TK is out, Judd starts working on extracting the driver.

Tommy and Nancy work in unison, the Paramedic Captain covering TK’s face with an oxygen mask while Nancy inserts an IV in his arm and runs a line. Carlos then notices that Owen is applying pressure to TK’s side with one hand while the other runs through TK’s hair.

Carlos takes TK’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Let’s move,” Tommy instructs a moment later.

Nancy takes over holding pressure as they push the gurney towards the ambulance, Carlos and Owen trailing behind.

“Carlos?”

Carlos turns at his partner’s voice, coming from a few feet away.

Mitchell is about to ask where he’s been but her eyes go wide instead when they land on TK lying on the gurney.

“I have to—”

She’s nodding before Carlos finishes his sentence. “Go, I’ll sort it out.”

“Thank you,” Carlos gives her the best grateful smile he could muster before hopping in after TK and Tommy.

“I’ll be right behind you,” Owen says once TK is inside the rig.

Carlos nods, taking a seat on the small bench.

Nancy shuts the doors and races to the driver’s seat, climbing in and the sirens wail as they start to move.

Owen watches the ambulance drive away, the hot pit in his stomach growing with each passing second.

Carlos and Tommy don’t exchange words, each of them focusing on TK. Tommy is monitoring his vitals, giving him fluids and administering a local nerve blocker to help with the pain.

Carlos clutches TK’s free hand with both of his own, closing his eyes and willing his racing heart to slow down a beat. He works on his breathing, steading his rhythm but he can’t help the stray tear that falls when he opens his eyes and looks at TK.

Carlos’s chest is in knots, his heart in pieces, TK is too still, too pale.

It’s almost like TK feels his fiancé’s anguish and pain, and on some level, he does because he’s weakly turning in Carlos’s direction. It’s always been a thing TK and Carlos talk about—the way they sense each other and what the other needs and this moment is yet another one to prove that connection true.

“It’s okay, ‘Los,” TK manages, his voice frail and muffled even more by the oxygen mask.

Carlos sniffs, moving closer to TK so he’s in his line of sight and nods. “Yeah, baby. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I love you,” TK whispers.

“I love you too, baby,” Carlos reciprocates. “Hold on.”

TK nods, a promise Carlos clings onto with everything he’s got. And he prays today isn’t the day he loses TK.

They’ve only just begun.

*****

It’s a short but tense ride to the hospital.

Tommy had examined TK’s chest and Carlos’s assumption that it was the seatbelt that hurt him is proven right by the massive red bruise already formed down the paramedic’s torso. Carlos had drawn in a sharp breath at seeing it, heartbroken that TK has been injured to that extent. Tommy had also told Carlos that TK may have also suffered a bruised lung from the force of the seatbelt against his chest.

A team is already awaiting their arrival, tearing the ambulance doors open as soon as it comes to a halt in front of the Emergency Room entrance. Tommy relays all the information as they push TK inside and through the hallways. They reach a point where Tommy, Carlos and Nancy can’t follow and Carlos has to reluctantly let go of his tight hold on TK’s hand.

His heart shatters as he watches the doctors and nurses wheel TK away, feeling like he’s been ripped away from him.

He stands there for what seems like hours, watching the hallway long after TK was pushed into the elevator, Carlos’s eyes fixed on its closed doors. He feels a hand land on his shoulder, and he doesn’t need to turn to know who it is.

“Come on, Carlos,” Tommy’s soft voice reaches him.

Carlos lets her lead him towards the waiting area and he drops into one of the plastic chairs, hating how familiar they have become.

He shakes his head then drops it slightly and only looks up when a few wet wipes are in his line of sight.

He gratefully accepts them but doesn’t move for a few moments after. His gaze is focused on his own hands, his hands that are covered with TK’s blood. And his ring, his ring is coated in crimson, nearly obscuring the silver underneath and it makes his stomach churn in an unnatural way.

Carlos closes his eyes, going back to the day TK had slid this ring onto his finger, to the joy and contentment they had both felt, they way they basked in each other’s love when Carlos had said yes. A tear rolls down the officer’s cheek, one he doesn’t bother wiping away. He sniffs, opening his eyes and begins cleaning his hands.

Once the evidence of TK’s accident and injury is transferred to the wipes, Nancy takes them from Carlos’s hold and throws them away before sitting down, too.

The silence stretches, the feel and sound of the hospital nearly haunting. Owen’s arrival breaks it, Carlos looking up when he hears his name being called from afar.

“Carlos,” Owen’s eyes are wide and movement quick.

“Owen,” Carlos gets to his feet in time for the Captain to throw his arms around him in a hug, which Carlos returns.

Owen gives Carlos a squeeze before pulling back. “Did they say anything?”

Carlos shakes his head. “They took his straight up, didn’t say much of anything.”

Owen nods and sits on the chair next to Carlos’s as he too returns to it.

Tommy and Nancy’s radios spring to life a little bit later, and they reluctantly leave, promising to be back as soon as they can.

Carlos starts rolling his ringer over his finger, a gesture he does when he’s nervous or anxious. TK would always notice, and he’d reach out, taking Carlos’s hand and holds it tightly; a silent promise that he isn’t alone, and that TK’s got him. Carlos would give anything to feel TK’s tender touch.

He notices that his ring is still speckled with blood.

“I’ll be right back,” Carlos says as he rises from his place. “Just going to the bathroom.”

Owen nods. “Take your time.”

Carlos follows the signs to the nearest bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror as he gets closer to the sinks. The bathroom is empty, his boots echoing in the space, his eyes not leaving his exhausted reflection staring back at him. All the color has been drained from his face, his eyes a stark red against his pale skin and his usually neat curls are out of place. His eyes drift lower until they stop at his waist where there’s a large, dark stain. His uniform is stained with TK’s blood.

He swallows as he turns on the faucet and lets the water run down at the coldest temperature before sticking his hands under it and working the remaining traces of blood off his ring. He momentarily relishes the cool sensation against his skin, but he soon breaks watching the pink-tinted water swirl down the drain.

It feels like TK is getting further and further away from him as each second passes by. He feels like he’s losing TK.

Helplessness settles in his bones, barely turning off the water and he grips the marble to support himself as his entire body starts to shake with the force of his oncoming sobs. A cry rips through his throat and he tightens his hold on the marble, afraid that his knees will no longer hold him up and he’ll crumble to the ground if he lets go.

He feels the fear crawling underneath his skin, the terror ringing through his whole being, the longing, the pain…it all washes over him at the same time, and he almost collapses from the weight of it. But he holds on. TK needs him to hold on. So he draws in a deep breath, stands up straight and splashes icy water over his face a few times.

Carlos returns to the waiting area with swollen eyes and Owen runs a hand up and down his back once he’s seated next to him once again, patting his shoulder before pulling back.

“We…we were planning on going over to my parents’ for dinner this weekend,” Carlos’s shaky voice slices through the silence that settles over them. “Our schedules lined up and TK was so excited. He,” he pauses, a small smile forming on his face. “He was saying how we should bake something to take to dinner. Chocolate chip cookies. They’re his go-to when it comes to baking,” he trails off, his hands connecting and he starts nervously fidgeting, rubbing his hands together. “Chocolate chip cookies,” he whispers.

“They were always his favorite kind of cookies when he was a kid,” Owen says.

Carlos turns to look at Owen, his features broken and eyes filled with fragments of loss and aching. “He’s going to be okay, right? He has to be. He…has to be okay.”

“He’s strong, and he’s in the best of hands. He’s going to fight to come back to us, to come back to you, Carlos. The happiest I’ve ever seen my son was when he was with you, even in the beginning, when you were still figuring things out, there was something different about him, I could see it, I could feel it. He seemed lighter, brighter. His eyes lit up. I didn’t want to pry or push to know more, but when I saw you together, I knew. You were the missing piece he needed, you helped make him better, stronger. He’s going to come back to that.”

“It was the same with me. He saved me, in so many ways,” Carlos expresses.

“You saved each other,” Owen replies with a smile, giving Carlos’s knee a squeeze.

Carlos and Owen move to the waiting room on the surgical floor a little while later. Owen sits down on an identical plastic chair while Carlos paces around the room.

He stops when he looks out into the hallway and sees the rest of the team making their way towards them, all wearing the same concerned look on their faces.

“We got here as fast as we could,” Judd says as they step inside.

“Have you heard anything yet?” Marjan asks, her eyebrows drawn together.

Owen shakes his head. “He’s been in surgery for almost two hours.”

“He’s a strong kid, he’ll make it through,” Judd speaks with a steady voice.

“I should go call my mom, let her know what happened,” Carlos starts walking towards the door.

Paul pats Carlos’s shoulder as he passes him, and Carlos responds with an appreciative nod.

Carlos’s short trip to go outside is a haze, moving robotically until he’s stepping into the open air, the sun still high in the sky. It’s hot, Carlos closes his eyes and tilts his head up in the direction of the sun, letting its warmth seep into his skin. He takes a deep breath as he opens his eyes, pulls out his phone and he notices a few texts from Mitchell. He makes a mental note to reply later and moves to the phone icon, touching his mother’s contact from his favorites list.

One ring, two rings, three rings…

“Carlitos!”

“Mami…”

Andrea immediately picks up on his broken tone. “What’s wrong, mijo?”

“It’s…There was an accident…a car pile up downtown and…TK, he…he was in it,” Carlos’s voice cracks.

“Oh, Dios,” Andrea draws in a sharp breath. “How is he?” She asks and Carlos can hear rustling and movement in the background now.

“He…he lost a lot of blood, Ma. He was stuck in the car and his side was hurt…they took him straight to surgery and we haven’t heard anything yet,” Carlos sniffs.

“Where are you? I’m on my way,” Andrea says.

Carlos can hear the emotion in his mother’s voice and he knows she’s trying to keep her worry and fear for TK from breaking through the phone. She’s always been Carlos’s rock, strong and steady, and he can tell by her tone that she’s keeping it together for him. Still, though, he can hear the slight waver in her voice at the knowledge that her soon to be son-in-law is badly injured, currently undergoing surgery.

Since the moment TK was officially introduced to Carlos’s parents, they welcomed him into their family with wide, open arms. They had immediately liked him and adored him, Andrea happily whispering it into Carlos’s ear at the end of that very night. They saw the love between him and their son, and it had uplifted Andrea and Gabriel’s spirits and filled their own hears with so much love and glee.

And when Carlos had called them one night, voice filled with bliss and excitement, telling them that TK had proposed to him, Andrea and Gabriel wept tears of joy.

Knowing how much Andrea loves TK, telling her that he was hurt is one of the hardest things Carlos has ever had to do.

“We’re at West Park Memorial,” Carlos replies.

With a promise from Andrea to be there shortly, they end the call. He returns to the waiting room a few minutes later, everyone’s eyes landing on him. Carlos feels shrunk, his shoulders drawn in, his body feeling so heavy.

“She’s on her way,” he says before turning to stare into the direction of the operating rooms.

“No news yet,” it’s Judd who speaks next, reading Carlos’s mind.

Carlos nods and returns to his seat next to Owen.

Silence falls onto the room, everyone doing little things to keep themselves busy. Mateo praying, Marjan and Paul standing and pacing, Judd grabbing a couch pillow and holding it against his chest, Owen’s head is thrown back against the wall with his eyes closed and Carlos’s leg starts bouncing up and down while he fidgets with his hands. His fingers gravitate towards his ring, the one tangible piece of TK he has with him in this moment. Carlos always gravitates towards TK.

The team eventually get called away to a rescue with their promises too to return as soon as they can.

Carlos’s phone rings and a glance at his screen tells him it’s his mother.

“Ma,” Carlos answers.

“Hi, mijo. I’m walking in now, where are you?”

“We’re in the waiting room on the surgical floor,” Carlos tells her.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

Carlos spots Andrea hurrying through the hall, handbag clutched against her side soon after they hang up.

“Carlitos,” Andrea breaths as she steps into the room.

Carlos walks over to her and falls against her as she wraps him in a tight hug.

“It’s okay, mijo. Va a estar bien,” she whispers reassuringly, holding him in a steady grip. It’s going to be okay.

Carlos returns the embrace, burying his face in his mother’s neck, more tears spring to his eyes at being held by his mother and feeling her safety and comfort.

There’s a considerable height difference between Carlos and Andrea, but right now, Carlos may as well be a little boy and she a giant. Her protective hold on him is steady and grounding.

Once they pull back, Andrea cups Carlos’s face and wipes the fallen tears with the pads of her thumbs.

“Any news?”

Carlos shakes his head.

Andrea walks over to Owen, who gets up and they exchange a quick hug.

“He’s going to be fine,” Andrea says as she takes a seat next to her son.

Carlos nods, his eyes drifting back to his ring.

“There was a missing ingredient,” Andrea says after a while.

Carlos frowns as he turns to look at her.

“I was talking to him this morning, I sent him the family recipe for tamales,” she explains. “He wanted to surprise you but there was one missing thing.”

“Our dinner date tonight…that’s why he was out, he was going to the store,” Carlos connects the dots, eyes filling with tears.

Andrea nods.

“That was his surprise,” the realization dawns on Carlos. “He knows tamales are my favorite,” a small smile forms on his face.

Andrea places her palm on the nape of Carlos’s neck and pulls him gently towards her. He goes easily and rests his forehead against her shoulder. She whispers comforting words in Spanish as she runs her fingers over Carlos’s short hair just above his neck. He closes his eyes, evening out his breathing as he soaks up his mother’s comfort.

*****

Carlos is staring into nothingness almost an hour later, his eyes glued to to the hallway but unseeing. His mind on TK, all figures that pass through and walk the hallway blurred. Until one doctor is walking towards the waiting room, his form getting clearer and clearer as Carlos forces his vision to focus on him.

The doctor is visibly tired, his face crunched up, still wearing his surgical cap as he enters the room. Carlos can’t read him, and that worries him even more. He braces himself, swallowing as the doctor starts speaking.

“Family of Tyler Strand?”

“TK,” Owen corrects as he gets to his feet. “How’s my son?”

Carlos and Andrea follow suit, the tension building in the small space.

The doctor nods at Owen. “TK made it through,” he offers them a kind smile.

The collective breath Owen, Carlos and Andrea were holding is released as they breathe out a sigh of relief. Carlos closes his eyes, letting the doctor’s words sink in, sagging forward a little. He feels Andrea’s hand running up and down his back, grounding him and he leans into her warm touch.

“There were some complications, however,” the doctor continues. “We were mostly concerned about the amount of blood he lost, which caused his blood pressure to drop. His numbers were low during the surgery but we were able to keep him stable and with some blood transfusions, his blood pressure began to improve. The metal shard nicked his kidney but it didn’t cause major damage, we were also able to repair the laceration. Brain scans were all normal, indicating no brain injury. His chest is bruised and he has a minor lung contusion from the force of the seatbelt, but that will heal on its own. He’s young and healthy, I expect him to make a full recovery.”

“Can we see him?” Andrea asks, knowing it’s on Carlos’s mind and also knowing Carlos is still processing the doctor’s prognosis.

The doctor nods. “He’s currently in recovery and he can have visitors once he’s settled in a room after some observation. I’ll make sure a nurse comes to inform you when he’s ready.”

“Thank you so much, doctor,” Owen extends his hand.

The doctor nods once more, shaking Owen’s hand. “He’ll be home in no time.”

Carlos is rolling his ring on his finger and nervously bouncing his leg a while later when a young nurse approaches them.

“TK is ready for visitors,” she announces with a smile.

Owen turns to look at Carlos. “Go,” he urges.

“Are you sure?” Carlos asks.

Owen nods. “I’m sure, I’ll stop by to see him in a while.”

Owen pats Carlos’s shoulder as the officer gets to his feet and follows the nurse towards TK’s room.

“I’ll be back in an hour to check on him,” the nurse says as they come to a halt in front of a closed door. “The nurses’ station is down the hall if you need anything, or you can just press the call button near the bed.”

“Thank you,” Carlos says, taking a deep breath and pushing the door open.

He knew what to expect, he knew what his eyes would land on once he stepped into the room but still, seeing TK looking so small and still in the hospital bed shakes Carlos to his core.

An ache bolts up and down his body as he makes his way towards TK, his footsteps echoing off the walls, the only sound aside from the beeping of the heart monitor. He doesn’t take his eyes off his fiancé as he lowers himself on the chair situated next to the bed, watching as the paramedic’s chest rises and falls with each breath he takes.

Carlos is at least glad to see that TK has regained some color but it’s the stillness that also makes the officer uneasy. TK is always active, even when he’s asleep, twisting and turning in bed every now and then. Carlos would say he’s a light sleeper, he loved when TK started spending the night in the early days of their relationship. Though TK’s restlessness would sometimes wake Carlos from his slumber, he’d wrap an arm around TK’s middle and drift off to sleep again only for it to happen again a few hours later. Carlos never minded that, though, he’d be woken up by many things over the years, and being woken up by TK’s movement is by far his favorite.

Eventually, those movements from the younger man through the night had become a source of comfort for Carlos over the months, a reminder that TK is right next to him, in his bed. It grounded Carlos, and a sleepy smile would spread over his face as he gravitates towards those movements, warmth spreading through his body.

But here, right now, Carlos shivers, an icy sensation darting through his nerves. TK’s stillness is wrong, all wrong and so unlike TK is breaks Carlos’s heart all over again.

Carefully, Carlos reaches out, clasping TK’s hand in his own and prays that he can feel the familiar pressure.

“Hi, baby,” Carlos eventually speaks, his voice hoarser than he expected. “I’m here and you’re okay. They took really good care of you and you’ll be back on your feet in no time. I just…I miss you, Ty.”

The only response Carlos gets is the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

He sighs, running his thumb over TK’s knuckles. “I miss your voice, your smile, those beautiful green eyes of yours…your kiss. Come back to me, babe. This is only our beginning, we still have so much to do together. And I’ll be right here, right by your side, always. I’m not going anywhere,” Carlos vows.

Some time later, Carlos is so focused on TK and watching him, he doesn’t hear the knock on the door or it being pushed open until he senses another presence in the room.

He turns to see Owen stepping in, and stops by the foot of the bed.

“He looks better,” the Captain says, his eyes glued to his son.

Carlos nods, and continues running his fingers through TK’s hair.

“Your mom is heading to your place to pack a bag for you and TK,” Owen adds after a few moments. “She said to tell you to call or text her if there’s anything in specific you’d like her to get. And she’s also getting you some food.”

Carlos nods again. “I don’t think I’ll be able to eat, though.”

Owen’s eyes soften. “I know, but you have to keep your strength up. He’s going to need you when he wakes up. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of him.”

Carlos knows Owen is right, so he doesn’t argue. “Thank you,” he tells Owen.

“Thank you,” Owen reciprocates. “You saved his life.”

“Part of me hopes I could have done more, I felt so helpless just…I wish I could have done more,” Carlos drops his head.

“Hey, Carlos,” Owen walks over so he’s behind the officer. He places a hand on Carlos’s shoulder and gives him a supportive squeeze. “You did everything you could, I know you did. I’ve seen so many accidents to know that in that pile up today, TK’s chances were…” he trails off, shaking his head. “His chances weren’t good. If it wasn’t for you, TK wouldn’t be here right now.”

The mere thought of that brings tears to Carlos’s eyes. “A guy flagged me down and…I followed him and then I realized it was TK and…my whole world stopped.”

Owen nods. “I hate that you had to go through that but…part of me is glad it was you who got to him. Because I know you would have done, and did do, everything you can to keep him alive. You climbed into the wrecked car, and that says everything.”

Carlos moves his hand to cup TK’s face, lightly tracing his cheekbone with the tip of his thumb. “I would do anything to make sure he’s okay.”

A moment of silence washes over them as Owen dips his hand into his pocket and pulls it out, fist closed before opening his palm in front of Carlos.

“Here,” Owen says.

Carlos looks down into Owen’s open hand and a tear rolls down his cheek when he sees TK’s ring there.

“The nurse gave me his stuff after she lead you here. I thought you should hold on to it for him,” Owen explains.

Carlos sniffs, reaches out and takes the ring. He secures it in a fist and brings his hand over his heart, holding it there before leaning forward and brushing a kiss to TK’s temple.

*****

Owen stays until Andrea is knocking on the door, walking into a room carrying a duffel bag and a brown paper bag. The delicious smell immediately hits Carlos and his stomach rumbles. His mother must have heard it because she gives him a knowing smile.

Owen excuses himself a few minutes later, making Carlos promise to call if anything changes. With one final glance at his son, Owen leaves.

Carlos settles on the small table in the corner of the room as he unwraps the food his mom brought him. Andrea stands near the bed and plants a tender kiss to TK’s forehead then sits in the chair previously occupied by Carlos.

Carlos watches the sweet exchange and feels his heart flutter in his chest at the sight. It’s such a simple gesture but it speaks volumes of the way Andrea had come to love TK and happily welcome him into the family. Carlos had witnessed TK and Andrea growing closer and closer over the course of their relationship and it had made him happier than words could express. He’d smile, his heart soaring as he watched them in conversation or watched TK help Andrea in the kitchen, talking about anything and everything, while preparing dinner together at the Reyes ranch.

There’s pain and sadness in his heart at seeing Andrea sit next to TK’s hospital bed. And even more when he hears his mother’s broken whisper of oh, amor, as her eyes roam over TK’s battered face and he can tell she’s imagining the layers of bandages hidden underneath his gown.

Carlos can tell she’s struggling, trying to remain strong for both him and TK. Because not only is Andrea’s Carlos’s rock and support, but she is also TK’s.

“It’s okay, Ma,” Carlos reassures her. There’s so many layers to those three words, and she catches on to each and every one.

She gives him a small, sad smile, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

“Your dad sends his love, and he said he’ll be by to visit TK soon, once he’s awake and strong,” Andrea says a little while later, after Carlos had finished eating, freshened up, changed into sweats and a hoodie, and returned to TK’s side.

She was about to get up to vacate his seat then, but Carlos shook his head and gestured for her to remain seated there. He dropped into the chair on the other side of the bed, the one Owen had grabbed from near the wall and had been sitting in.

Visiting hours were coming to an end and Andrea was getting ready to leave. With a gentle pat to TK’s cheek, she gets to her feet and clutches her handbag, Carlos following her.

“Carlitos,” she starts but Carlos is quickly shaking his head, knowing what she’s going to say.

“I can’t leave him,” he answers.

Andrea sighs. “It’s going to be busy in here tonight, they’ll be checking on TK every couple of hours and you need to rest, too.”

“I know, but I won’t be able to sleep if I do go home either. I’ll stay wide awake, worrying and wondering and going back home now, going back to our bed, without him or without knowing he’s really okay…I can’t. At least staying, I can grab an hour here and there when they aren’t checking on him.”

Andrea nods after a moment. She knew deep down that Carlos would stay, hence the bag she had packed. She’s cupping Carlos’s face, caressing his cheek before pulling him into a hug.

He goes easily, wrapping his arms around his mother and returning the hug. Her strong hold on him gives him strength himself, almost transferring some of hers to him and he soaks it all up.

“He’s going to be just fine,” Andrea whispers, kissing Carlos’s cheek as they separate.

Carlos nods.

“I love you, mijo,” Andrea expresses. “I love you both.”

“We love you, too, Ma.”

After a similar promise to Andrea like the one made to Owen, she leaves, grabbing the bag sitting next to the door containing Carlos’s bloodstained uniform on her way out.

Carlos returns to his original place next to the bed, his hand going back to TK’s.

“It’s just you and me now, babe.”

*****

It starts with one slow movement. It’s so slow Carlos would have probably missed it if he weren’t watching TK as closely as he is.

The sun has climbed high in the sky, the hours ticked by from the time Carlos had given up on sleep around dawn. It was a night filled with fitful and restless sleep, as he had expected and between the nurse checking on TK and Carlos’s own worry, the officer managed to get three hours of shuteye.

He couldn’t sleep past the moment light cracked through the darkness of the sky above, so he got up, running a hand through his loose curls and stretched his aching muscles. The sun slowly got higher and stronger, painting the sky in streaks of orange, yellow and red, the colors morphing together in a magical way. He watched the process through the thin curtain, getting lost in it for a few moments before directing his attention back to TK.

TK who still hadn’t woken up. Who hasn’t even stirred.

Carlos was awake during the nurse’s more recent visit and she had assured him that it was perfectly normal, that TK’s body still needed some rest and that TK is doing well. He thanked her, giving her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes followed by a nod when she mentioned there’s a coffee station just down the hall.

He feels TK’s ring sitting in his pocket, and he longs for the moment when he’ll able to slip it back on his finger, where it belongs.

He kept a positive attitude, repeating the nurse’s comforting words in his mind over and over, clinging to them as more minutes passed by with no indication from his fiancé of waking up.

“Come back to me, baby,” Carlos had whispered, giving TK’s hand a light squeeze.

He eventually left the room for a quick trip to the mentioned coffee station, and was back by TK’s side in a matter of minutes.

He kept himself occupied replying to texts he had received—from Mitchell, some of his other colleagues at the precinct, and most recently the 126 group chat, while keeping an eye on TK, as well.

The texts were all replied to and the coffee had long been consumed when the slow movement from the bed catches Carlos’s attention.

A small nudge of TK’s head to side, his eyes still closed. For a second, Carlos thinks his mind is playing a trick on him. But then it happens again, in the other direction and that has Carlos moving forward, heart picking up speed in his chest.

“TK?” Carlos calls. “TK, can you hear me?”

His heart is on its way to sinking from the lack of response from the paramedic, but instead flutters because TK is slowly opening his eyes and finding Carlos through the haze.

Carlos’s face breaks into a smile that does reach his eyes this time, said eyes also filling with tears at the sight of the green irises he has so terribly missed.

“Hi, baby, hi,” Carlos continues, his voice soft.

“‘Los,” TK breaths, his voice scratchy and low but it’s his voice and Carlos can almost weep at his nickname that only TK uses.

“I’m here, I’m here. You’re okay,” Carlos reassures him. “Everything is going to be just fine.”

Carlos’s hand moves to cup TK’s face, caressing his cheek and his heart sings when TK summons all the energy he can and leans into Carlos’s touch.

“Get some more rest, babe, I’m not going anywhere,” Carlos says when he notices TK drifting back to sleep.

Watching TK’s chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm now, TK’s ring in Carlos’s pocket feels lighter.

*****

The sun is getting lower when TK wakes up again. Andrea had passed by and joined Carlos for lunch a couple of hours before, Carlos feeling better and able to eat properly.

He was sitting in his usual spot on the chair next to the bed, mindlessly going through his phone and switching between apps when the same nudge of TK’s head pulls his attention, albeit it’s a little more frantic than the previous ones.

“Hey, hey, baby,” Carlos gets closer to TK, eyes on his face.

TK’s eyes are faster in opening this time, landing on Carlos and then looking around the room.

“Carlos?”

“Right here, I’m right here.”

“What…” TK’s eyebrows draw together, confusion written all over his face.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Carlos takes hold of TK’s hand. “You were in an accident, you were hurt pretty bad but they took care of you and everything’s okay. Do you remember?”

TK nods after a second and swallows against his dry throat.

“Do you want some water?”

TK nods again.

Carlos grabs the plastic cup from the nightstand and guides the straw through TK’s parched lips. “Easy, slow sips.”

“How—how bad is it?” TK asks once he’s done drinking.

Carlos sighs as he returns the cup. “We don’t have to talk about that now.”

“Please…I…I need to know,” TK says with a low tone.

After a moment, Carlos nods. “You were stuck in the backseat, you had some cuts and scraps, a concussion, bruise from the seatbelt and…there was a piece of metal lodged in your side. You lost a lot of blood, and I tried to keep pressure as much as I could but I didn’t want to hurt you more and…” he sucks in a shaky breath.

TK uses his energy to squeeze Carlos’s hand, knowing where the officer’s mind is going, taking him back to the horrific accident scene. TK squeezes Carlos’s hand to ground him and bring him back to the present.

“Never in a million years had I expected to see you in that crash…I was actually thinking the opposite, that I won’t see you because it’s your day off. But then the universe flipped the table on me and there you were…” Carlos trails off and then shakes his head. “I’m sorry, you just woke up, this…this isn’t what you should be hearing.”

It’s TK’s turn to gently shake his head. “Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for. Whatever you need to let out, and everything you’re feeling and thinking…I’m here to listen, no matter what.”

“I don’t want to overwhelm you,” Carlos lowers his gaze.

“Look at me, baby, look at me. You can never overwhelm me…I know how tough this has been, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Carlos tightens his hold on TK’s hand. “I was…so scared. I felt so helpless and it felt like you were being ripped away from me. And for a moment you were, when they wheeled you away and it broke me, in that moment, I shattered,” the tears get heavier in his eyes and with a blink, a tear falls and streaks down his cheek.

TK’s own eyes well up at seeing the pain and heartbreak drawn on Carlos’s face and coating his voice, wanting nothing more than to take it all away.

“I remember coming to after I blacked out from the initial crash and it was…terrifying. My mind hadn’t completely caught up with what happened and once it did, I was really scared,” TK sniffs. “I felt so alone. But you know what? When I saw you, well, at first I thought I was dreaming but then you reached out to me and touched me and it felt real, you felt real and warm and you were right there…I knew in my heart you were there and I wasn’t scared anymore. I didn’t feel alone anymore. I knew you would save me, like you did so many times before.”

More tears roll down Carlos’s cheeks at TK’s words.

“And you did. You saved me, ‘Los.”

Carlos lunges forward, taking TK’s face gently in his hands and plants a kiss on TK’s forehead.

“You saved me just as much,” Carlos whispers, looking into TK’s eyes where brown meets green, and there’s so much said without needing words, so much love communicated and felt. Carlos leans in, first touching their foreheads together and then brushing a tentative kiss to TK’s lips. And Carlos feels whole again.

“Also,” Carlos starts once he pulls back. “We’re definitely making those tamales once we’re back home.”

“You know?”

Carlos nods. “Ma told me. Missing one ingredient.”

“Yeah…I wanted to surprise you. You’ve been working so hard lately and I wanted to do something for you,” TK expresses.

“That means everything, TK. I just hate that you got hurt, I know neither of us could control what happened but still…I hate that it happened.”

TK nods. “But I’m here and I’m okay.”

“You are,” Carlos drops a kiss to TK’s cheek this time. “And one more thing,” he adds, a hand digging into his pocket.

He opens his palm in front of TK to reveal his ring and TK looks up at him, eyes glistening.

“I believe this belongs to you,” Carlos holds out his free hand to TK.

TK carefully lifts his hand and gives it to Carlos.

He watches as Carlos slides the ring on his finger, the familiar weight of it a comfort. He closes his eyes when Carlos brushes a kiss to the ring now sitting where it belongs, relishing in the touch.

“I love you, Ty, now and forever.”

Carlos's eyes are so soft and filled with love and adoration, it makes TK's heart swell with just as much love. He smiles, knowing he's found a home in Carlos. And he knows with his whole being that Carlos has found one in him, too.

“I love you too, ‘Los, always.”

And when TK gives Carlos the smile that’s reserved for only him, Carlos knows in his heart that they’re going to be just fine.

107 notes · View notes

peantbutter-honeycombs · 3 years

Text

The Hollowing Series: Part II

Title: The Boy and His Companion

Word count: 3,339

Characters: The 11th Doctor, Amy Pond, ocs

Warnings: Platonic fic not romantic.

Notes: Originally the story was going to be completely told from the point of Sophia but after a few drafts I decided it should follow Oliver. My college friend who sometimes beta reads my work used to hate the boy but now she likes him. He used to be mean and dismissive toward Sophia but clearly I changed things. Even I quite like his character now.

Speacial Thanks to @underskaro for beta reading this chapter. I know your busy and this really meant a lot to me. So thank so much.

Figured I tag @mirkwoodshewolf because they kindly edited the first chapter and I want them to know I finally got around to the second.

———

The rain had ceased, leaving a heavy blanket of grey white on the hills. It hugged the rain-soaked ground, dancing around each of the kid’s heels. The late day fog controlled the landscape, making it blur in the same way as the opening credits of Mary Poppins.

The entire walk home, the two walked in silence. Oliver, in one hand, held the middle bar of the bright green trike. The metal was ice in his palm. He gripped the bar so tight his knuckles were turning a ghostly shade of white. He held Sophia’s hand in the other, though not nearly as tight. However, still tight enough to make the little girl uneasy.

Sophia would have “said” something if it wasn’t so woefully clear Oliver was cross. His soulful hickory eyes were hard as stone. Instead of their usual boyish spark, there lingered a disdainful flicker. She could swear he was muttering something bitter. Now and then she’d fear a foul word, he’d probably later scold himself for saying.

Whoooooooooo.

He stopped, eyes narrowing. He took a deep, rather stiff breath and sharply exhaled through his nostrils. Adrenaline surged through his system so fast he felt it burn a path through his veins. He spun around, pulling Sophia behind him. Oliver had a glacially callous glare on his face, eyes fixed on the horizon.

The wind tore at the collar of his slicker, and his damp mess of blonde curls. Their surroundings were clouded, hidden, shrouded by the thick veil of fog. Oliver stood silently, the only sound coming from the ferocious flapping of his jacket. He scanned the stretch with the careful eye of a concerned mother.

The fog is not the mist. The fog is not the mist.

The second they arrived home, Oliver condemned Sophia to the time-out chair. She quietly settled in on the stool, positioned in the far corner of the dead end down stairs corridor, without protest. It was an older item. The hand carved mahogany always felt stiff on her bum. But she thought it better not to whine.

Oliver, he sat alone in the living room. A damp, worn out mess of a human being. He tiredly sunk into the couch. He ignored the clammy feeling of his rain-soaked clothes. He completely collapsed across the cushions. Every muscle in his body just surrendered to gravity. He could feel the tiredness pressing on his chest, weighing him down, draining his energy, exhausting his patience.

Why would she think?… Especially now. He rolled off his side onto his back and focused his eyes on the ceiling. She can’t just… Ugh!

He brought a pillow to his face and screamed.

The seconds ticked away into minutes; in the isolation of the sitting room, Oliver let the world around him fade into silence. The minutes ticked into half an hour; Sophia absentmindedly twiddled her thumbs, humming a familiar song in the back of her head; Oliver had been awake for sixteen hours. His consciousness was grasping at straws.

One sniff and Oliver’s eyes are open. He rolled on to his side. Immediately his face fell into irritation. Oliver locked eyes with a familiar pair mere inches from his face.

“I’m not done with timeout. Go back.”

Sophia blinked, processing the instructions she’d just been given. Her eyes darted around, searching his face for any traces of sarcasm or falsehood. Nothing.

Sophia lightly pecks his cheek in the sloppy little kid way. It left a little wet mark, one he’d wipe away once she’d left the room. Oliver chuckles softly, carefully bumping his forehead against Sophia’s. The little ginge giggled, stumbling back, whilst raising a palm to where her temple had been nudged.

“Ten minutes?”

Sophia nods and politely shuffles off.

The landscape blurred, clouded, the fog lingered hovering above the cool streams and the crowned hills. The brilliant greens and vibrant patches of rich wildflower were poking through the fleeting fog. Soon the sun would begin its descent. Lowering, lowering until it was nothing more than a single sliver of gold vanishing on the horizon.

Eyes closed, arms folded over his chest, which rhythmically rose and fell with each dozy intake of breath, Oliver laid quietly on the couch. The father clock at the top of the stairs ticked, the pendulum swung from side to side. Quarter till four, it read.

Sophia sat in her timeout chair, continuing to hum her melodic tune. In these moments of boredom with no toys to play, no stuffy to “talk” to and no Ollie to cling to, all Sophia could do was wait. She sighed, blowing up a long strand of hair that kept dipping, falling between her eyes.

Oliver stuck his head through the white Tudor arch way that separated the sitting room and entryway corridor. Sophia, having somehow positioned herself upside down on the small stool, gave the boy a dopey smile.

Oliver rolled his eyes, pulling at the fabric of his shirt.

“Hey Soph a loaf,” Oliver softly sing-songed, sitting against the wall directly beside the timeout spot. Being upside down, her auburn hair fell in waves suspended centimetres above the rough and stained planks. She was holding her shirt down, preventing it from exposing her stomach.

“You… Wanna make a pillow fort?”

The quiet of the house is shattered by Sophia, letting out a blaring squeal. In moments she somersaults off the bench, landing clumsily on the floor. She’s up on her feet in a heartbeat, bouncing, squealing, stomping.

Oliver chuckles lightly. “Sophia, Sophia, Sophia.”

Sophia poked her head through the arch at the call of her name.

Sophia whined, tilting her head as if to ask ‘what?’

“Nothing. Just… love you Soph a loaf. Lots and lots.”

The pillow fort took longer than expected, given that they both took the construction of fort building oh so seriously. They rushed through putting on their pjs, then moved on to making dinner. No one could tell them not to eat under the bedclothes.

“You can’t put peanut butter on grilled cheese!”

Just as it did every day, the sun set. The shadows of the trees and the aging building stretched up the hills, as the golden ball of orangish yellow began its descent.

Beneath navy blue blankets, patterned with rocket ships and sea creature stickers, sat the two children. Oliver had built much of the fort; Borrowing cushions, towels and blankets from around the house. While Sophia had eagerly decorated their cloth kingdom; twinkle lights, stickers, and scribbled drawings decorated the walls and ceilings.

“So her dad was killed-- Ow. By the same agent trying to recruit her?"

Cuddled firmly against his side was Sophia, her body glued against his similar to Double Pops. Every time she moved, her knees or feet would buck, nailing Oliver in the ribs or hip. He had an arm wrapped around her neck, functioning as both a pillow for her head, and one support for the tablet he was holding.

“That’s quite coinc-- Ow! Sophia!”

Sophia bit the edge of her lip, trying to contain her giggles. Her giggle was a violin playing the open string G (Sol), alluring and dulcet. Considering she burst into a mini giggle fit with each jab, Oliver’s face crumpled like a discarded wad of paper.

He could feel Sophia wiggling against him. Her legs squirmed in a boyishly wild fashion. Her knees curved, beating him in the ribs.

“Ow!" Oliver sat up.

“Okay.” He inhaled sharply. His body was stiff from high levels of irritation. Sophia calmed herself, gently curling her toes. Her brown eyes followed Oliver’s movements, becoming larger, curious.

“Sophia, do you have to use the toilet?”

Sophia drew in her lip. She bent her knees, so she grabbed her toes. She stared, thinking hard. He watched as her face became still, eyes blinking frenziedly. Within fifteen seconds, she nodded.

“Let’s go then.” He stood, helping Sophia up.

He crawled out of the fort’s entry tunnel, it was barely big enough for him to squeeze through. They’d run low on pillows, while building some part of the structure had to be sacrificed.

He heard the soft scuffling of sock padded feet against the old wooden floor. “Sophia?” He looked back over his shoulder, realising Sophia was making more noise than necessary.

“No! Soph, you’re not bringing a blanket to the loo.”

“We lay my love and I…” Oliver sang.

Oliver sat on the third step of the stairs. Beating his hands against his thighs. He was a child. His rigid posture had been replaced by a chill slouch. Sophia had taken her time correcting the blanket as she shifted. She was just now clambering out of the blanket fort.

“Beneath the weeping willow…”

Sophia shuffled past him into the next room, across the corridor from the sitting room. As she passed, Oliver gently took hold of the back of her shirt. Sophia backtracked, then turned on her heels to face him. Oliver had a focused look, his eyes fixated on the ginger like a surgeon during brain surgery.

“Sophia. Where are you going?” He asked.

Sophia wrinkled her nose, pointing in every direction. Oliver simply rolled his eyes.

“Then go find your sweater.” He instructed. Sophia points to the room she was headed toward. “No. It’s not in the drawing room. You left it in my room. Upstairs.”

Sophia let out a pout huff, making Oliver chuckle. She looked past him at the stairs, eyes narrowing to a thin line. Nonetheless, she began her slow ascent upwards. A downside of wooden stairs. If you’re not wearing shoes, instead socks, it's easy to slip. Her sock covered feet slipped and slid, making her ascent up the stairs look clumsy.

“One foot in front of the other.” Oliver teased. Sophia, her face only inches from his ear, blew a spitty raspberry. With the satisfying feeling of retaliation, Sophia pressed on.

“Remember to use the toilet.” Oliver reminded, wiping the flecks of spit from the side of his face.

Oliver patted his thighs and then stood. Standing rather motionless, in his sharp black and orange KTM Factory pyjamas, he distinguished himself amongst the rustic clutter of the foyer. After a moment of stillness, he leapt from the third step, landing on the floor with a hard thud. He resets himself, brushing a hand through his mop top of dirty honey blonde hair.

He wanders around the corridor, gently running his fingers across the wall, over the knickknacks and along the edges of the chair rail.

"But now alone I lie..." he quietly sang, “...And weep beside the tree...”

The house was old. Ancient. It looked like it had been plucked from an autumn-aphile's Pinterest board. Time had been kind to the country home. While the creepers crept along the worn grey cobbles, the inside was a monument to times long gone by.

Thump, thump, thump.

Sophia. She was moving around upstairs.

His mother was a collector. Her husband called her a hoarder. She called herself a dreamer. She was a traveller. When she had been young, before the children, she'd seen the world collecting baubles and knickknacks that now cluttered the home.

Thump, thu, thu, thum.

"Your feet aren't drums!"

A single overhanging lamp dimly illuminated the foyer, mirroring the glow of candle light. Their neighbour had once asked why they didn’t store all their tchotchkes away in the shed. Stacks of completed books left careless about rough wood carvings from around, antique finds nestled beneath blankets of dust, dried flowers, and colourful drawings from Oliver’s younger days.

Thump, thu, thu, thum.

The house, so full of things. Some would shudder at the chaos of it all, others would be queasy because of claustrophobia, and rest would be quietly fascinated.

Oliver stood himself in front of Credenza, pushed up against the left wall. He eyed the reflection staring at him through the distressed mirror mounted about mahogany sideboard.

He’d forgotten a lot rather recently. Thirteen. He’s thirteen. His eyes are a weak shade of brown, not like Sophia’s, the colour of almond coffee. His dirty blonde hair softly curled and tucked, just barely overhanging his sunken eyes.

Thump, thu, thu, thum.

“Singing ‘Oh willow waly’…” he sang, “… by the tree that weeps with me.”

Oliver retreated, leaning against the sloping stair posts. He checked the clock hanging above the front door. Four minutes had passed since Sophia had gone upstairs. Standing there with nothing to do but listen to the creaky footsteps from above.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

“Singing—”

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

His nerves abandon him quickly. His breathing becomes shallow and erratic. He couldn’t hear his rapid breathing, the chaotic beat of his heart dominated. His fingers curl into a fist, nails piercing the tender skin of his palm.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

His eyes dart to the clock. 6:11.

It’s as if his hidden sixth or seventh sense activates. Every tick of the clock is a threat, every creak of a floorboard is a risk. His fingers twitched as he defensively moved toward the door. His body stiffens, trying to shut him down before he can reach the front door. He keeps moving.

His hands tremble and his skin becomes rough with goosebumps as he reaches towards the door handle grip.

No one knocks. No one could would.

He grips the handle tightly thumb pressed on the thumb-place, the metal would surely leave a mark on his palm. He finds it hard to swallow, lungs betraying him. Slowly he presses down on the thumb-place, pulling on the handle.

“Hello!”

Oliver’s blood ran cold. He tightened his jaw.

“You followed us?” Oliver murmured. His grip on the door handle tightened, to where he could feel the cool metal dig into his palm. Standing square, shoulders defensively strained back, he felt a knot forming in the back of his throat. Fear sat quietly, waiting like a vulture, ready to claim him.

“You followed us home?” His eyes darted to the Moors, where a small cloud of mist was slowly forming. He wasn’t quite scared. His eyes showed more of a wary concern. After all, he was all that stood between two mysterious strangers and his world.

“Yes. We did.” As he spoke, Oliver observed the Doctor with slight aversion. When he spoke, he’d move his hands about. A little unnerving. Still Oliver held his ground, preventing the Doctor, still a stranger, from entering his home. “We have some questions…”

“Questions?”

Thump, thump, thump.

That’s when Oliver jumps. A pump of adrenaline surged through his system almost triggering his flight or fight instinct. Without his support “system”, it would have been flight. Oliver shook his head, pushing down his panic.

Thump, thump, thump.

He was the barrier between his world and trespassers. A wave of boldness washed through him, demanding he be bold and shielding. However, a light gust of embarrassment from his jump made his cheeks glow.

“You-- you have questions?” he stammered.

The Doctor seemed to take this as an invitation. He moved to enter the cobblestone house. Oliver slammed a hand across to the other side of the door frame, so he couldn’t enter.

The Doctor’s brows pressed together, his shoulders slumped, and his mouth hung slightly open and loose. His expression gave way to his confusion. A hard stone glare carved into Oliver’s tired eyes. A warning. The doctor took heed and took a careful step back.

His lighthearted manner returned within seconds.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m the Doctor, this is my friend Amy. What’s your name?” He asked as he extended a hand out for Oliver.

Oliver shook his head, smiling a little, as he gently pushed the Doctor’s hand down and said.

“Can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?”

Just because someone introduces themselves, they aren’t any less of a stranger. Though most of what he observed of the Doctor seemed safe, suspicion and caution still governed his mind. He’d be more trusting in different circumstances. But there weren’t many people worth trusting, at least not anymore.

“You’re still a stranger.”

The Doctor nods, scratching at his chin. “Fair enough.” Something about the grown man’s cluelessness. The right corner of Oliver’s lip twitched, threatening to curve upward. He started gesticulating again, moving his hands about as he spoke. “Answer me this then where is everyone else?”

His brain stuttered for a moment, his face fell, and the blood drained from his face, leaving him as pale as a sheet. He recomposed himself, adopting a more stoic expression.

“Home,” his tone was cold, cold as ice.

“Home?”

The Doctor observes Oliver’s shift in manner with calculative eyes. He leans back, arching a brow. Oliver only nods in response. However, he could see it. The Doctor could see it, the fear trying to hide in the corners of the blonde child’s eyes.

He’d figure that out later, for now…

“Tell me, why should we be wary of the mist?”

Oliver scratched the back of his head. His eyes struggled to focus on one point. Again, they settled on the Moors. His stomach twisted and sunk with his nerves, as he gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly, wrapping it around his hand.

“Hard to see, you could get lost.”

The Doctor squatted, so that his eyes were level with Oliver’s. He carefully studied Oliver’s face as he lowered his mouth. He went to speak, but Amy, she spoke first.

“Have people gotten lost?”

Thud.

This time his muscles become tense. “I-- I better get inside,” he stammered, gesturing with a thumb over his shoulder. His unsettled eyes shift down to the ground, avoiding the watchful looks of the Doctor and his companion. Oliver cleared his throat and then croaked out.

“You should get back home, before it’s too late.”

Without another word, he shut the door, leaving the Doctor and Amy in the chill of dusk.

Oliver was silent as he fell back against the front door. The tick of the grandfather clock at the top of the stairs felt louder than before. As the full realisation of his conversation sank in, he ran his hands down his face. A loud groan of frustration flowed past his lips.

It’s foolish to trust, he reminded himself, for no one knows what the mist does hide.

A small whine snapped him out of his stupor. He immediately stood. Sophia stood one step from the top of the stairs. She wore a puzzled expression. Oliver rolled his eyes, his brows creased, and he put on a fake smile.

“It was no one,” he lied, dismissively waving a hand in the air. Sophia’s eyes narrowed. “It was no one Sophia, leave it alone.” He insisted, trying to laugh the matter off.

“Now, I have some work to finish.” He said as he moved toward the drawing room. As far as he was concerned, the matter of who was at the door was finished. His mouth twitched into a genuine smile, and his tone softened. “If you’d like, you can color at the desk while I work.”

Sophia shook her head, gesturing with an arm toward the entire upstairs. “No? Just going to play in the upstairs?” He asked. She nodded, making her ginger tresses bounce. “By yourself? Are you sure?” The way her one dimple crinkled, the shifting of her freckles, gave him his answer.

“Fine, have fun, bed in an hour.” Oliver brushed his fingers through his hair, strolling into the drawing room.

Sophia brought a hand to her mouth, then blew him a sloppy kiss. Hearing the noise of the peck from the other side of the archway, Oliver bent an arm back through the doorway to catch it. He cast his head back through the opening, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“Love you too Soph a loaf. Lots and lots.” he gently laughed. “You be good,” he reminded moving into the drawing room.

“And Sophia,” His tone became serious, and resigned. “Let's stay out of the master room.”

#11th doctor #11th Doctor x child oc #Doctor who fandom #doctor who fanfic #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who imagine #doctor who imagines #doctor who series #11th doctor fanfic #doctor who series 5 #amy pond #ocs #11th doctor imagine #matt smith #karen gillan #noah jupe

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years

Text

just a farewell

It’s very hot.

It’s the middle of July, and Janis is boiling even with her window open and a fan running full blast. She’s always hated summer. Cady, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered by the heat.

She does, however, seem very bothered by the other thing that the middle of July is bringing them. Janis is leaving for college in New York, and Cady is staying for her own in Illinois.

In September, when they first started applying for colleges, they weren’t even together. They were crushing hard on each other, but not dating. They didn’t even know what schools the other had applied to. By the time they started hearing things back, it was February and they had finally started dating.

They’d had a long discussion about how much they wanted their relationship to affect their decisions. They’d come to the mutual but rather upsetting agreement that, no matter how much they loathe the idea, there’s always a chance their relationship won’t last forever. Their educations would, and they both deserve the one that would be best for them.

So, Janis decided on an arts school in New York. Damian had actually chosen the same one, so they decided to rent an apartment in the city together. Damian is a performing arts major, and Janis decided to study art history and drawing, wanting to leave painting as her sacred art medium.

Cady’s application process was rather more involved, since she had been homeschooled for all but two years and her parents had never done any kind of credit system. She’d had to take placement exams instead of basing things off of her transcript. She’d chosen to go to the University of Illinois, and had managed to get herself in as a junior in credits as a mathematics major. Regina is majoring in psychology there as well, and they had recently learned they’re going to be roommates.

“I’m gonna take this down,” Cady says quietly as she grabs a box by the door, sneakily before it can be taped shut.

“Sure thing, Peanut. Thanks,” Janis says as she folds another shirt for the box she’s packing.

Cady carries her box down the stairs and out to Janis’ truck. She had snuck her Mathletes jacket over and hidden it from Janis. Cady tucks it safely in the box with a little love note and tapes it shut, then slides the box into the back of Janis’ truck bed. She can live without it for a few months.

Janis is worried.

Cady has been acting oddly all month. She barely speaks, and when she does her voice is soft and monotone. She’s been extra clingy, always needing some form of physical contact with Janis whenever they’re together and seeming to panic slightly when she’s not able to. And, Cady’s been having more nightmares, regularly waking up either screaming or sobbing in Janis’ arms.

But the worst part by far, the part that worries Janis the most: Cady hasn’t smiled in almost a week. No matter what Janis does, she won’t smile. Janis does understand. She’s dreading the idea of leaving her girlfriend, but she’s still worried about her.

She pushes the last box containing her bedsheets over by the door to be carried down later and flops down on her bare mattress. Cady comes back and scoots in next to her. It’s too hot to cuddle no matter how badly they both want to, so Cady settles for hooking their pinkies together.

“Hi, Kitkat,” Janis says, turning onto her side to see her.

“Hi.” Cady replies in a voice so sad that Janis wants to unpack everything and stay behind.

“What’s wrong?” Janis asks sadly. Cady turns to look at her as well, heaving a sigh as she does. Janis runs a hand through Cady’s newly chin-length curls. “You haven’t smiled in so long. What’s the matter?”

“You’re leaving,” Cady says quietly.

“I gathered that,” Janis chuckles weakly. “I get it. I don’t want to leave you either. But I’m worried about you. You barely even speak anymore, and you keep waking up crying. I miss your smile.”

“It’s stupid,” Cady mumbles. Janis sees her eyes watering and switches their grip to hold her whole hand, giving a gentle squeeze.

“Baby, no it’s not,” she chides. “If you’re this upset, nothing could be stupid. Just tell me what’s wrong, I don’t want to leave knowing you’re this sad.”

Cady takes a deep breath and inches herself a bit closer. “I’m... I’m scared,” she chokes. “When-when Aaron left for his school we didn’t even make it two months. I thought I was so in love with him, and then it all ended. And with Rhys, he left and he... he never came back. I’m scared I’ll never see you again.”

She dissolves into broken sobs by the time she finishes. Janis gives up on trying to keep cool and pulls her into a tight cuddle, desperately hushing her and trying to comfort her as best she can. She supposes she should have known Cady would have some sort of issue with abandonment. Two of the people she loved most in the world left her. One broke up with her and the other died. It all makes a bit more sense now.

“Oh, baby,” Janis hushes. “It’s not like that for us. Aaron was so far away, and you weren’t with him nearly as long. And Butterfly, Rhys was going to war when he had to leave you. I’m going to New York, I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Cady sobs. “New York is dangerous! What if you get mugged?”

“If I get mugged then you’ll be the first to know since you’ll have to bail me out of jail for killing whoever tried me,” Janis says. “I know how to defend myself. I have pepper spray and a knife, and my mom made me take all those self defense classes with her, remember? I’m gonna be safe. Our apartment is in a good neighborhood and I’m not gonna go anywhere alone.”

Cady knows she’s being slightly irrational. Nobody would mess with Janis after looking twice at her, but she’s still scared. “What if you meet someone else? And like them more than me?”

Janis rolls over and pulls Cady to lie on top of her. “I don’t think that’s possible, Peanut. I love you so much. I’m more worried about you meeting some hot math dork and ditching me. Someone with, like, elbow patches on a turtleneck, you know?”

Cady doesn’t quite laugh, but Janis feels the slightest hint of a grin against her neck. Progress is progress. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby, no, you don’t need to be sorry. I’m... devastated, I don’t want to leave you here,” Janis says, choking back her own tears. “But we’re gonna be okay.”

Cady nods against her shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Butterfly. Come on, I have an idea,” Janis says, prying her girlfriend off her lap gently and tugging on the pair of shoes she left unpacked to wear on her drive to New York.

“Oh god,” Cady groans as she hauls herself upright and wipes the tears from her face. Janis’ ideas tend to be a little out there. Her last one involved stealing Damian’s old trombone and using it to piss off a bunch of local cows. She’d nearly gotten herself trampled and the trombone had not survived the incident.

“Not like the cows. Or the chickens,” Janis says quickly. “This one’s safe, I promise. Come on.”

Cady inches her feet back into her flip flops and takes Janis’ hand, following her to her mom’s car since her truck is full of all her stuff. Janis has truly mastered the art of driving one handed now, since Cady always asks to hold one.

Cady is confused when they pull up to a convenience store, but follows Janis in anyway. She’s even more confused when Janis makes a beeline for the stationary section, since they usually only stop by for snacks.

Janis looks carefully at all the calendars, before she grabs one with pictures of kittens for each month. “Pick one for me to have.” Cady looks too, picking one with different famous paintings for each month. “Perfect.”

Janis takes both and heads to check out, leading a puzzled Cady behind her. Why are they buying calendars they can only use for a few more months?

“Do you want to go get frozen yogurt, baby?” Janis asks once they’re in the car again. Cady nods happily, excited at the idea of her favorite treat. Finally got her to smile.

—————-

Cady insists on paying for their yogurt, since she knows hers will be very expensive. She’s piled loads of popping boba, gummy worms, strawberries, and Oreos on top of her watermelon flavored frozen yogurt. Janis kept it simple with salted caramel yogurt topped with mini M&Ms.

Janis finds a bench nearby with an umbrella so they’re not in the sun. Cady sits and pulls Janis into her lap, resting her head on Janis’ shoulder as they both dig in.

“Do you want to try some of mine?” Cady asks after a few minutes, offering a spoonful to her girlfriend.

“Are you just offering because you want some of mine and you’re trying to make it fair?” Janis asks knowingly, but does take the offered bite.

“No,” Cady says sheepishly. “I’m just trying to be a good girlfriend.”

Janis chuckles around the strange mess of flavors in her mouth. “You don’t have to try to do that, Peanut. Here.” She offers Cady a bite of her own.

“Yours is good,” Cady says, finishing off her own. She winces a little at the tart flavor of the watermelon immediately after the sweetness of the caramel.

“Wanna taste it again?” Janis asks as she takes the last bite of her own.

“But you finished it,” Cady says in confusion.

“And?” Janis purrs, leaning in to kiss her and flicking her tongue against the seam of her lips. Cady gasps in understanding, so Janis takes the opportunity to brush their tongues together. After a few minutes, she breaks away. “Tastes even better this way.”

“You’re so smooth,” Cady jokes. “And sweaty, get off.”

Janis laughs and stands up, offering a hand to help Cady back up. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jay.” Cady says. The sadness is starting to come back.

“Come on, let’s go do my idea.”

————-

A few minutes later they’re back at Janis’ house, sitting on the bare floor of her bedroom. “What is this idea?”

Janis pulls out the calendars and her mom’s fancy felt-tip pens in all sorts of fun colors. She hands the paintings one to Cady and keeps the kitten one in front of her.

“You do better with visual reminders of stuff, right?” Janis asks as she picks out a dark yellow pen. Cady nods. “So, we’ll go through these and mark off when everything starts and when our breaks are, and when we’ll call each other. Then you can count off all the days until we’re together again.”

“Oh,” Cady says. “That is good.”

“I told you,” Janis teases, poking her knee with her foot. “Are you thinking of joining any clubs or anything that would meet on Saturday nights?”

“I don’t think so,” Cady says confusedly. “Why?”

“We could have video dates those days. My art club only meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I’d be free if you are,” Janis says. “We’ll still call and stuff during the week, obviously, but I think it would be good to have something scheduled.”

“That sounds good too,” Cady says. “You’re so thoughtful.”

“I try really hard,” Janis jokes, marking off every Saturday for the remaining weeks of July, along with all of August, September, and October. Janis had already made the tough decision not to come back during her fall break, so they wouldn’t be able to see each other until Thanksgiving.

Cady does the same to hers. “Now what?”

“Look up when your fall break is and mark that, and do Thanksgiving too. We’ll do something fun over Facetime on my fall break since I can’t come back,” Janis says. “And then when I’m back for Thanksgiving we’ll do this again for the next semester.”

Cady marks off her first day of classes, her fall break in October, and the start of her Thanksgiving break. Janis does the same, and makes a special mark on the day she’s flying home for Thanksgiving in November.

Cady adds cute little doodles on random days, with random ‘I love you’ reminders scattered throughout as well. Just to make Janis smile. Once they finish marking everything, they switch calendars. Janis tucks hers safely into the backpack she would be bringing on her road trip.

Cady reaches for her once they finish. Janis is leaving in just a few hours, she wants to squeeze in as many cuddles as she can before she has to go. Janis obliges, cuddling into her side and burying her face into her neck. Cady turns to face her and nuzzles her nose into her hair.

They cling to one another desperately until they both get too hot and uncomfortable to continue. Janis inches back and holds her hand instead, checking the time on her phone with the other.

“We should get to Damian’s soon,” she says quietly. “We need time to load up all of his stuff too.”

Cady pouts. Janis and Damian would be leaving directly from his house. She’d get her last kisses, hugs, and cuddles for several months there. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Janis switches out her keys, grabbing the ones for her truck and leaving the ones for her mom’s car behind. Her mom and sister would meet them at Damian’s house later to see them off, but she takes a second to look wistfully around at the house itself.

Cady clings to her hand as they walk through the yard, and snatches it back as soon as Janis gets into the driver’s seat. The smiles and getting her voice back seems to have been a temporary thing. Quiet Cady is back now, playing sadly with Janis’ rings.

Janis has a key to Damian’s house and can tell by the lack of car in the driveway that his mom isn’t home, so she unlocks it and throws the door open with a loud, “What’s up, fuckers?!”

Pippa, who was waiting behind the door at the sound of a key, scrambles to run to her owner in the living room for protection. Janis and Cady follow, Cady shaking her head in exasperation.

Pippa gets very excited when she sees Cady and runs back over, popping up on her hind legs to show she wants attention. Cady can barely smile even at the adorable antics of the puppy, but does bend down to pet her like always.

She carries Pippa down the hall to Damian’s bedroom, following her girlfriend and best friend. Damian has everything packed already, they just need to get the boxes into Janis’ truck.

Cady’s glad that Janis and Damian are going to the same place. As hard as it is for Janis to leave Cady, she knows having to leave Damian would have been much harder for her. She’s glad Janis and Damian have always had each other to lean on, and still get to be together.

Eventually the puppy cuddles have to take a temporary break, so she rests Pippa on Damian’s bed and grabs a box to carry out.

With the three of them working, the boxes are all where they need to be pretty quickly. Now they have about two and a half hours to kill before Janis and Damian have to hit the road.

“Should we have one last movie night?” Damian asks. Cady almost bursts into tears then, she had forgotten she’d be losing him for a while too. She nods, knowing that if she tries to speak she’s going to be completely inconsolable for the next several hours.

She sits in between both of them, trying to focus on Lilo and Stitch instead of the coming events. It just about works.

Unfortunately, the movie has to come to an end, along with their time together. Nobody speaks, but they all squish a little bit closer together.

“I love you guys,” Cady whispers, finally prompting the tears from all of them. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“We’re gonna miss you too, Little Slice,” Damian says.

Janis doesn’t say anything, just leans her head onto her girlfriend’s shoulder. She stays there for a second before she seems to remember something and leaves.

“Where are you going?” Cady asks through her tears.

“I have something for you, hold on,” Janis replies through her own. Cady cuddles more with Damian while she’s gone.

Janis comes back carrying a strangely shaped... something. “Here.”

Cady takes it and nearly drops it on her toes. “What is it?”

“It’s a weighted thing, I made it from one of my jackets,” Janis sniffs. “To help you when you get overloaded. Or just when you want cuddles.”

Upon closer inspection, it is made out of one of Janis’ decorated jackets. “This was your favorite one, why would you do that?”

“It had a rip in it anyway, there was no way I could get it back,” Janis says.

Cady squeezes it close. It smells like Janis, and her girlfriend left the sleeves on and filled them with whatever she used to weigh the body down, to simulate a hug. “I love it. Thank you, Jayjay.”

“Of course,” Janis says quietly. Damian leaves then as well, and returns with his own signature blue jacket.

“Here, you can have this too,” he chokes. Cady takes it gratefully and hugs both her new gifts close.

“Thanks, D,” she says.

Janis and Damian’s families show up in the midst of a very long, tearful goodbye hug. It’s time to go.

Cady squeezes them quickly and lets them go to their families, knowing she’ll get one last chance to say goodbye before they actually have to go. The tears keep streaming down her face as she watches Janis and Juliana say their goodbyes. Janis’ mom even brought Pancakes, and that goodbye is even more sad.

Eventually, they all head out into the yard. Janis and Cady have a moment to themselves as Damian says goodbye to his mom and Janis’ family.

Cady throws herself at her girlfriend and refuses to let go as Janis picks her up. She locks her legs around her waist and arms around her neck as they both sob quietly into each other’s shoulders.

“I don’t want you to go,” Cady weeps quietly.

“I know,” Janis murmurs back. “I don’t want to go either.”

“I love you so much,” Cady sobs. “I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna do great.”

“So are you,” Janis says, resting her back on her feet and cupping her face. “I love you so much.”

“We’re gonna be fine,” Cady says, seemingly more to comfort herself than Janis. “You’ll come back.”

“Always. I’ll always come back to you. In November,” Janis chokes in response. “I promise.”

“Will you text me or call me when you’re not driving?” Cady asks, cuddling into her shoulder again.

“Of course,” Janis sniffs. “I’ll keep you updated.”

“Okay,” Cady sobs in reply. “This is the worst, I hate goodbyes.”

“I know, I hate this too,” Janis sobs. “Come here.”

They both lean in for a kiss, trying to convey all their love and sorrow through it. Their tears mingle on their cheeks, and they can both taste the salt on one another’s lips. Every once in a while one pulls back to choke out another sob, but the other pulls them back in quickly.

Eventually they do have to break apart to breathe again. Cady murmurs ‘I love you’ in every language she knows. Damian calls Janis over then, they really do have to get going.

“I love you, Bluejay,” Cady says, kissing her one last time.

“I love you too, Butterfly,” Janis says back. “Good-“

“No. Don’t-don’t say that,” Cady insists. “This time it really isn’t a goodbye. You’re coming back. This is a farewell.”

“Okay. Farewell, Cady Heron,” Janis says as she climbs into the passenger side. She and Damian had decided that he would drive first. Janis knew she would probably be crying too hard to drive safely.

“Farewell, Janis Sarkisian,” Cady says, kissing her cheek through the window before she steps back to stand by their families.

Juliana clings to Cady as Damian and Janis drive off. Cady clings to her just as tightly, both of them crying into each other. Everyone waves at the truck until it’s out of sight.

Cady spends the rest of the day with their families, wanting their company to distract herself from her feelings. She plays Just Dance and a few card games with Juliana to keep them both busy.

A few hours after they’ve left, Cady’s phone pings with a text from Janis. It’s a very blurry picture of the sign marking the border to Indiana.

“Is that them?” Julie asks.

“Mmhmm. They’re in Indiana now,” Cady says, turning the phone so she can see the picture. “Janis says she’s taking over driving, but she’ll let us know when they stop again.”

“How far away is your school?” Julie asks quietly.

“Only about two hours, it’s in Champaign,” Cady answers, replying to Janis’ message before she deals a new hand for their game. “Why?”

“You can come back more often,” Julie says. “I don’t want to be alone, now that Janny’s gone.”

Cady almost starts crying again. “Of course. Your mom got you a phone, right?”

“Uhhuh,” Julie says, digging into her pocket and pulling it out. Cady takes it and enters her contact information.

“There. If something happens or you get lonely just tell me and I’ll come back,” Cady promises. “Do you have Janis and Damian’s numbers too?”

Julie nods. “Thanks, Cady.”

Cady grins at her. “No problem, kiddo.”

————-

Cady stays with their families until sunset, when her parents tell her she needs to come home. Janis has continually texted her throughout the day, sending pictures of cute birds she finds at rest stops or strange things she sees out the windows.

Cady is about to turn in for the night when her phone pings one last time.

bluejay: caddy caddy

butterfly: What what?

bluejay: oh we made it to my family’s place btw we’re about halfway thru ohio

bluejay: but vera and her friends took us around to see stuff and there’s a massive field of fucking concrete corn

butterfly: What?

bluejay: Sent a picture: ive never been more afraid in my life

butterfly: That’s so weird, why couldn’t they just have actual corn there?

bluejay: i don’t know!!!! i’m scared i’m gonna get murked here but vera says ppl take prom pics with them and shit

butterfly: How tall are they?

bluejay: i think they’re about six feet they’re not that much taller than me

butterfly: Huh. How weird.

bluejay: ikr

bluejay: what are you up to babes ?

butterfly: Sent a picture: Sleepy 📷️

bluejay: aww. i miss you so much already baby

butterfly: I miss you so much, love. I have my cuddle thing you made me and I just crossed off my calendar for the day 📷📷

bluejay: oh i’ll go do that once vera finds her gfs

bluejay: goodnight peanut i love you

butterfly: Goodnight, Jayjay, I love you too

Cady shuts off her phone and plugs it in, turning onto her side and staring at the calendar she pinned to the wall. She tries to look at the cute kittens in party hats and not the word ‘JULY’ in large letters, taunting her just below it. She buries her face into the cushion, inhaling Janis’ lingering scent, and gently cries herself to sleep.

————-

Very late the next evening, she gets a text from Janis letting her know they’ve made it safely to their apartment in New York, and they’re going to get to work unpacking everything the next morning.

With the new time difference, Janis is an hour ahead of her, so they wake up at roughly the same time, now. Janis texts her around ten Cady’s time to ask if she wants to Facetime while she gets started unpacking.

Cady, obviously, agrees immediately. A call from Janis comes through, and Cady hits the green button to accept it.

“Hey, love,” she greets. “How’s the big apple?”

“Big,” Janis responds. “Here, look.” Cady can see her shuffle out of her new bed and over to the window, and then the camera flips around to show off Janis’ view.

“Wow,” Cady says. “That’s beautiful.”

“I think my view is more beautiful,” Janis flirts. “I miss you.”

“I miss you,” Cady responds sadly. “But hey, we’re already two and a half days down until we’re back together!”

“Look at you, little miss optimist,” Janis chuckles. “What are you up to?”

“Art, kind of, actually,” Cady says happily. “I got all my stuff for school yesterday, I’m decorating my notebooks.”

“Lemme see,” Janis says excitedly, sitting on her floor and opening a box. Cady flips around her own camera to show the lion she’s painting onto the cover of her yellow notebook. “Cute! I like it.”

They continue to chat lightly as they both work, and it almost feels like they’re back together again. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Cady hears a quiet gasp as Janis opens another box.

“Baby,” she says quietly. “You gave me your jacket?”

“Yeah,” Cady says shyly. “I wanted you to have something physical of mine. Turns out we had similar ideas.” She watches Janis read the little note she hid inside and the smile grow on her face.

“Thank you, Butterfly,” Janis says. She wraps the soft blue and yellow fabric around her shoulders and continues unpacking the rest of her clothes.

“You’re welcome, Bluejay,” Cady replies. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Peanut,” Janis says.

—————

About a month later, Cady is officially moved into her dorm and ready for her first day of classes. Janis doesn’t start her own until Wednesday, so she still has time to get everything ready.

On Monday morning, Cady wakes up to a text from her girlfriend. It’s eight in the morning her time, so Janis must have woken up extra early just to say hi.

bluejay: good luck at class butterfly. have a great first day 📷📷

butterfly: Thanks, Jellybean. I love you 📷️📷️

bluejay: i love you more. tell me all about it when you get back go be smart

Cady sends back a thumbs up and kissy emoji, then shuts her phone off and heads down to the bathrooms to get ready.

On Wednesday, she does the same for Janis. Janis’ classes are all in the afternoon, but Cady sends her a sweet text at around eleven to wish her luck.

butterfly: Good luck today, my love. You’re gonna do brilliant things and I can’t wait to see them 📷

Janis sends back a picture of her making a peace sign but with her eyes brimming with tears. Cady replies to that with a picture of her making a kissy face and an apology for making her cry, and they text back and forth while Janis gets ready and Cady has her lunch.

On Saturday, they have their first date over video chat. Cady puts on a nicer outfit even though she’s just sitting at her desk in her dorm. Regina is away at a party for the night, so she’s got privacy to talk to her love.

At the agreed time (which Cady had spent a very long time confirming Janis knew, even with the time difference), she opens her laptop and brings up Facetime, shuffling her short hair as she sends the call through. Her eyebrows shoot up as her girlfriend comes into view. The formerly blonde ends of her hair are…

“Blue! I mean, hi!” She says, pointing to the screen before she remembers that Janis can’t see what she’s pointing to.

Janis laughs at her reaction. “Hey, Peanut. I got bored and bought a bunch of colors of temporary dye, Damian helped me do it. What do you think?”

“It looks really good,” Cady says. Janis notices her brow furrowing and her lips going into a thin line.

“You wanna touch it, don’t you?” She asks. Cady nods crankily. “Soon. I’ll dye it blue again when I come back.”

“How long does it last?” Cady asks. “It really suits you.”

“Only about a week, it’s kind of like paint. I’m glad you like it,” Janis replies. “Anyway, how was your first week?”

“Good! My classes are actually a bit easier than I was expecting,” Cady chirps happily. “And my professors are really nice. It’s just kind of hard to remember where everything is, still. How has yours been?”

“Not bad,” Janis shrugs. “School is fine, but I miss you. Damian and I have been walking around to get used to the city, and I keep finding places you’d love and then I remember you’re so far away and I can’t actually take you there.”

Cady frowns. “Maybe I’ll have to come to you a few times, then you can show me around.”

Janis grins back. “Yeah, that would be great. Honestly, I think you’d really like it in the city. It’s big and kind of overwhelming, but once you’re used to it it’s just like you’re in your own little pocket. And then you travel to other pockets.”

“It does sound fun,” Cady giggles. “Has your art club started yet?”

“No, it’s not ‘til next week,” Janis says. “But a bunch of people in it are in my classes too, so I got to meet some of them. They all seem chill, I’m excited.”

“Good,” Cady smiles. “I’m glad.”

“How’s having Reginald for a roommate been treating you?” Janis asks. “I see a lot of pink already.”

“Yeah, trying to mesh us is a little tricky,” Cady giggles. “A lot of pink and then a lot of my tribal patterns from Africa. But really, she’s actually been a good roommate so far. She doesn’t even complain about my nightlight thingy you got me.”

“Good,” Janis grins. “God, I miss you so much. I want snuggles.”

“I miss you too,” Cady says. “But it’s August now! We made it a whole month already, now we just have… a few more to get through.”

“I’m really glad you’re an optimist, babe,” Janis chuckles. “I love you.”

Cady leans in to kiss her laptop camera, and once Janis catches on she does the same. “I love you too.”

————-

In October, Cady makes special plans for Janis’ birthday. She switched her location to the city to order some sushi for Janis’ dinner to their apartment, and sent a bit of money to Damian for streamers. It’s a Thursday, so Janis has her art club and won’t be home until late.

She gets to talk to Damian while he sets everything up, happy to catch up with her best friend. He’s just blowing up the final balloon when Janis enters. Cady quickly dons the party hat she purchased and grabs her party popper.

“Aww, Dame,” Janis says happily, not having noticed Cady on the screen yet. “Cute.”

“Wasn’t me,” Damian shrugs, slightly out of breath from blowing up all the balloons himself.

“You’re the only one here,” Janis says confusedly. “Ooh, sushi, yay!”

“That definitely wasn’t me,” Damian says. “For fucks sake, get over here.”

“What?” Janis asks around a mouthful of salmon maki roll, coming to sit by him on their crappy little couch. “Oh!”

Cady pulls the string on her party popper, making a louder bang than she was expecting and causing her to yelp as the confetti all rains down on her. “Happy birthday, love!”

Janis laughs. “Thanks, Peanut! Did you do all this?”

“Uhhuh! I hope that sushi place is good, it had the best reviews,” Cady says. “Thanks for the help, D.”

“Anytime,” Damian says. “Cads, do you have your stuff?”

“Yep!” Cady chirps, grabbing her favorite blanket and a bowl of popcorn, climbing up to her top bunk in her bed.

“What’s going on?” Janis asks in confusion, around yet another mouthful of sushi.

“We’re having a movie night! Damian and I figured out how to do it,” Cady says happily. “You get to pick the movie, birthday girl.”

“Can I pick a horror movie?” Janis asks. It’s already a bit late, and Cady typically needs a minimum of one happy movie after any scary one to be able to sleep. Janis usually has to cuddle her, too, but she can’t exactly do that from a different state.

“Sure,” Cady replies anxiously. Maybe Regina will let her sleep in her bunk. Almost definitely not, but maybe. “I’ll deal with it.”

“Compromise, I wanna watch Coraline,” Janis says. “That’s… almost a horror movie but not quite.”

“Okay,” Damian chuckles. He pulls it up and shares the screen with Cady. It’s nowhere near as good as their real movie nights, but it’s better than nothing. They still get to stay up way too late on a school night and eat more popcorn than should ever be consumed in one sitting.

Cady is thoroughly spooked by the time they all have to hang up, but Regina offers a mug of her favorite calming tea to help her sleep and begrudgingly agrees to tuck her in. Cady drifts off clinging to her homemade cuddle buddy and wrapped tightly in her blankets.

————-

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, Cady gets a very late night text from Janis.

bluejay: peanut

bluejay: i’m really sorry

Cady instantly replies, trying not to panic.

butterfly: What’s the matter?

bluejay: i can’t come home for thanksgiving

bluejay: the airline just canceled our tickets out of nowhere and they don’t have any other replacements. everywhere else is booked too

butterfly: No

butterfly: You said Thanksgiving. You have to come back

bluejay: i know

bluejay: i can’t change it i’m sorry. dame and i looked everywhere

butterfly: Look again

butterfly: Please Jay

bluejay: okay i’ll check one more time

Janis checks every single airline for any available ticket. Everywhere is booked until after her break.

bluejay: i’m sorry baby there’s literally nothing

bluejay: i miss you so much i want to come back and see you

bluejay: baby ??

Cady’s been crying too hard to see her keyboard.

butterfly: You promosed

Cady never makes typos. Janis brings up her contact and calls her immediately, frowning when Cady declines.

bluejay: baby please

bluejay: i don’t have any control over this

bluejay: you know i’d walk back if i could

bluejay: baby please at least answer me

Janis suddenly gets a text from Regina, of all people.

reginald: What the hell have you done?

reginald: Cady’s, like, losing it. I think she’s having a shutdown.

snarkisian: my flight home got cancelled

snarkisian: is she okay ??? she won’t answer me

reginald: I think she’s too upset to notice you’re trying to get ahold of her. She’s crying really hard. And she won’t come out from under her blanket.

snarkisian: god caddy

snarkisian: can you ask her quietly if she’d be able to talk to me if you answered the phone ?? she’s probably too upset to move but i might be able to help her calm down

reginald: She said yes. Or nodded, at least. I would help but I don’t know what to do, I’ve never seen her like this.

snarkisian: i haven’t either but she told me what helps her. i’ve only seen her have a meltdown

snarkisian: just watch what i do ig

She pulls up Cady’s contact again, and this time there’s an answer. It’s Regina’s concerned face, but she quickly sticks the phone into Cady’s little blanket cave so Janis can see her instead.

“Hey, Butterfly,” Janis says sadly when she sees Cady’s face. She’s stimming aggressively but very slowly, and even in the darkness Janis can see the tear tracks on her face. “Baby, I’m so sorry, I want to come back. So bad, I miss you. I want to hold you and kiss you and never let go.”

Cady sobs a few times, hard. She gasps for breath in between each. Janis notices she’s getting more upset and stimming harder, wringing her hands back and forth. Her skin is turning white with each twist.

“Do you have your weighted blanket?” Janis asks. Cady manages to shake her head. “Would it help?” She nods. “Okay. Reggie?”

“Yeah?” Regina calls from outside their little cocoon.

“There should be a weighted blanket wherever she keeps her clothes. It’s blue and has little flowers on it, can you give that to her?” Janis asks. Cady flinches at the volume of their voices and covers her ears.

“I’ll try,” Regina says. It might mean sleeping on a heating pad due to an aggravated back, but if it helps her friend, it’s worth it. Huh, maybe I really am a decent person now.

She finds a blanket that matches the description tucked in the bottom drawer of Cady’s dresser. With a good deal of effort, she hauls it out and hefts it up onto Cady’s bunk. Cady pokes her red, teary face out from her other blanket and grabs the weighted one, wrapping it around herself like a cloak. Janis can see her breathe a little sigh of relief at the pressure.

“Where’s your thing I made you?” Janis asks quietly again. Cady pokes an arm out to grab her cuddle buddy, resting it on her lap. The extra weight helps even more. “Deep breaths, Peanut.”

Cady nods and listens, taking some deep breaths in and out between her sobs. Regina helps by dimming the lights in their room and turning on Cady’s nightlight that paints colorful stars on the ceiling. Cady said that she just kind of has to wait shutdowns out, and that she almost never gets them anymore. Janis feels terrible that she caused one, even inadvertently.

She stays on the phone and Regina waits nearby anxiously until Cady sort of recovers nearly an hour later. She’s stopped crying and her stimming has picked up speed again.

“Are you okay, baby?” Janis asks quietly. Cady shakes her head. “I know. Are you feeling a little better, at least?” Cady nods. “Good. I’m so sorry, Butterfly.”

“‘S not your fault,” Cady chokes. “‘’M sorry.”

“No, Peanut, don’t be sorry,” Janis says. “I’m sorry this happened. Reggie, she has a calendar on her desk, can you grab that?”

Regina does, passing it and a pen to Cady in silence and climbing back into her own bed. She’s still within earshot, but she would very much like to go back to bed now that her roommate is okay.

Cady flips to November and aggressively scratches out the week of Thanksgiving. Stupid airlines.

“I’ll book my tickets home for Christmas now, you can mark those off instead,” Janis says. Cady watches her eyes shift as she browses the available flights home. “There. I’ll be back on the fifteenth.”

Janis actually booked a flight for the tenth. Her break is remarkably long, luckily for her. Maybe she’ll surprise Cady. She watches Cady take her pen and mark off December fifteenth with a sad grin.

“Okay. I love you,” Cady says quietly once it’s been done.

“I love you too, Peanut,” Janis says. She leans in for a camera kiss, and Cady does the same. “Call me every day of your break so we can still talk, okay? I can’t wait to see you.”

Cady nods slowly, lethargic from her shutdown. “It’s late, go to bed.”

“You go to bed,” Janis retaliates childishly.

“I’m in bed,” Cady replies, holding the phone to show her nest on her bunk.

“Ugh, you know what I mean,” Janis groans with a chuckle. “Goodnight, Butterfly.”

“Night, love. Sleep well,” Cady says, nestling into bed and leaning in for one more camera kiss.

“You too,” Janis replies, returning it. One more month.

————-

The next morning, Janis texts Regina. Her help will be vital if she wants to make Cady’s surprise actually good.

snarkisian: reggieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

reginald: Christ. What do you want, Jan?

snarkisian: for u to stop using proper punctuation and capitalization in text first of all

snarkisian: but i lied to caddy i’m actually coming back on the tenth

snarkisian: can u help me surprise her ????

reginald: Lord, it never ends with you two.

snarkisian: stahp

snarkisian: just try. end ur next one without a period. i bet u can’t

reginald: I hate you

snarkisian: eyyy

reginald: Are we surprising your girlfriend or not?

snarkisian: oh yeah oops

snarkisian: all i should need is a way into ur dorm. i can get an uber there from the airport

reginald: I’ll pay for it. What time are you coming in?

snarkisian: OWO reggie being nice ???

snarkisian: i should land around one your time so i’ll be there a bit after that

reginald: I do actually care about you two, against my better judgement. I’ll come back between classes and let you in. Her last class that day ends at three.

snarkisian: tits thanks reggie

snarkisian: love u

reginald: Ugh.

Janis grins at her phone as Regina ends their conversation. She never thought she’d have banter like that with her again. Time to plan.

—————-

Janis writes out a note as she sits next to Damian on the plane. He fell asleep almost immediately after they took off, but Janis knows he’s also very excited to see Cady and their families.

Janis picks her pen back up and continues writing after a quick glance at his snoring face.

Dear Butterfly,

Hi, baby. I miss you so much, I can’t wait to see you again. I’ve missed holding you and getting all your kisses and cuddles. I miss trying to count your freckles and seeing your beautiful eyes up close. Cameras and jackets can only do so much, I guess.

I’ll be back before you know it and won’t have to let you go until January. I can’t wait. I’ll see you soon, Peanut.

Love, Jayjay

P.S. Turn around ;)

That should do it. A bit short, but it’ll get her message across well enough. She only has a couple more hours until she’s reunited with her love.

——————-

She bids Damian a farewell as they get their bags. He’s going directly back to Evanston, but Janis is sneakily staying in Cady and Regina’s room until their own break begins and then heading back with the two of them. They’re breaking a few campus rules, but nobody should have to know.

Regina meets her outside their dorm, which had taken Janis absolutely forever to find. She’d eventually had to stop and ask someone after Googling the name of it no fewer than seven times.

“Hey, art freak,” Regina greets, swiping her ID card to get into the building. Janis comes shuffling up in all her snow gear and lugging her suitcase behind her.

“Hey, Reginald,” Janis replies.

“Is that seriously still your contact name for me? You’ve had that since sixth grade,” Regina grumbles.

“You know it,” Janis says as they get into the rickety elevator. “I don’t like this.”

“It’s a little scary the first few times. You get used to it,” Regina shrugs. “Hasn’t fallen yet.”

“Oh, that fills me with so much confidence,” Janis grumbles under her breath.

“See? You survived,” Regina says. “This is it.” She pulls out a key and sticks it in the door, opening to a small room. Bunk beds, two desks, two dressers. That’s about it, but it’s been personalized with Cady and Regina’s own styles. It’s cute.

“Aww. Cute,” Janis grins. Cady has a bulletin board hung up over her desk, with her calendar and so many photos of all her friends and family pinned to it. The fifteenth has been decorated with several tiny hearts and exclamation points. Janis is also on the bulletin board most frequently, with Damian as a close second.

“Can I trust you alone here? I have a late class,” Regina says, grabbing her backpack and heading back towards the door. “Cady’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Yes, I can be trusted,” Janis groans. “Thanks, Reggie.”

“Stop calling me that!” Regina yells, already down the hall.

“Never!” Janis calls back. The door clicks shut after Regina, so Janis sets herself up for the surprise. She takes off her coat, sticking it and her suitcase under the bed and out of sight. It takes a bit of pushing, but eventually she makes it fit.

Then, she folds up the note she wrote and writes ‘Caddy’ on it with a heart and puts it on Cady’s desk for her to find, before deciding to hide in the nearby tiny storage closet. Regina said it would only be a few minutes, she can make it that long.

Janis grins widely as she hears her girlfriend in the hallway, trying not to make any noise from her hiding spot.

She peeks through the gap as Cady enters and takes off her coat. Cady suddenly notices the note on her desk. While she’s occupied reading it, Janis takes the time to step out and stand behind her. Cady reads the end and whirls around.

“Janis!” She yells, running to her and pitching herself into her arms. Janis stumbles back when her girlfriend rockets into her, but recovers quickly and holds her close. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t come back until next week!”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Janis chuckles. She hears Cady sniffle and feels tears soak into her shoulder. “Why are you crying?”

“I missed you so much,” Cady sobs. “You’re so much better than a pillow.”

“Aww, Peanut,” Janis coos. Her arms are getting a little tired, so she goes to sit on the bed. Regina technically has the bottom bunk, but she doesn’t have to know. Cady refuses to let her go, actually locking tighter around her now that they’re seated. “I missed you so, so much.”

Cady pulls back but doesn’t unlock herself, wiping her tears away and cupping Janis’ face. She stares intently at her and brushes her thumbs over her cheeks so softly.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers. Suddenly she whacks Janis’ arm gently. “You stinker! You tricked me!”

“To surprise you, ow!” Janis laughs. “You seemed so sad, I figured this might cheer you up.”

“I haven’t seen you in five months, of course I’ve been sad,” Cady says quietly. “You’ve been here for so long and haven’t kissed me yet.”

Janis grins and pulls her in, tangling a hand in Cady’s hair and gripping her waist with the other. Cady runs her hands up and down Janis’ back before eventually settling on her shoulders. They both sigh in relief at the warmth of each other, finally feeling each other’s grip and the soft texture of one another’s lips.

“So much better than kissing a camera,” Janis mumbles happily.

“Definitely,” Cady giggles. “How long are you here?”

“I have to go back on the fourth, my classes start again on the sixth,” Janis shrugs. “We have almost a full month together.”

“Yay,” Cady says happily. “Does your family know you’re back?”

“No, I’m staying here until you guys go back. But they might find out before then, Dame already went back,” Janis shrugs.

“You criminal,” Cady gasps jokingly. “Staying here against the rules, how dare.”

“I know, it’s terribly scandalous,” Janis chuckles. She starts poking random places on Cady’s face gently, then follows them with kisses.

“What are you doing?” Cady giggles.

“Your freckles,” Janis says between little pecks. “I’m trying to memorize where they are, they don’t show up as well on camera.”

“Mm,” Cady hums in understanding. “Tickles.”

“Sorry,” Janis breathes. “What should we do?”

Cady pulls back and hauls Janis up with her, then crawls up onto her own bed. Janis comes up after her, having to be careful of bonking her head against the ceiling.

“Snuggles. Right now,” Cady demands, getting comfy on her side and reaching for her.

“Bossy,” Janis snorts, but obliges without complaint. She tucks herself against Cady’s chest and pulls herself closer. “This is a nice sweater.”

“Thanks, I just bought it the other day,” Cady chuckles in response. “Your hair is blue again.”

“I know, what do you think?” Janis asks, shaking it out gently so Cady can feel. “I had it green last week, I had to dye it back for you.”

Cady sticks her hands into it and fiddles with the ends happily. “It’s so soft!”

“Thanks,” Janis giggles at her reaction. “It’s basically colored conditioner, so it’s been doing me a lot of favors.”

Cady cuddles back in, but doesn’t take her hands out of her hair. “Do you have purple?”

“Yeah, I do,” Janis replies. “I’ll do that one next week, you wanna help?” Cady nods eagerly. “And your hair grew, you look cute.”

“Thanks!” Cady chirps happily. Her hair has grown out to her shoulders now, and is still as curly as ever. “God, I’m so happy you’re here.”

“I am too,” Janis grins. Cady squeals in surprise as she rolls over onto her back and pulls Cady on top of her. “How’s my math genius been doing here?”

Cady smiles against her neck. “As good as I can without you. I think I’m most of my professors’ favorite student. Oh, and I had a meeting with my advisor the other day, and they said I’m still on track to graduate after next year.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Janis grins happily, running her fingers through Cady’s curls. She still uses the cherry shampoo. “I’m surprised your head hasn’t exploded yet. How do you have room for all those brains?”

Cady chuckles again and leans up on her elbows. “You’re one to talk. So many art techniques rattling around in there.”

“And very little else,” Janis replies. Cady flicks her ear gently.

“You’re brilliant, shush your face,” she frowns.

“Make me,” Janis teases.

“Happily,” Cady smirks, leaning down to press their lips together again.

————-

On Christmas Eve, Cady sneaks out of her house and over to Janis’. She left her parents a note and sets an alarm so she can be back in time for presents anyway.

Janis doesn’t have a tree she can climb, so she picks up all the little pebbles she finds on the way to pitch at her window instead. Cady could just text to wake her up, but this is more romantic.

It only takes four rocks for Janis’ face to appear in the window, bleary eyes looking out into the yard to see who’s out there. She grins happily when she sees Cady and disappears suddenly to go let her in.

“What are you doing here?” She murmurs when she has her back in her arms.

“It’s Christmas,” Cady shrugs. “Or nearly, anyway. All I want is to be with you, and you’re close enough now that I can.”

“No, I appreciate that,” Janis replies, scooping her up and carrying her inside. “But it’s, like, ten degrees outside and you’re just in your pajamas and you also walked over here alone at night.”

“You don’t live that far,” Cady shrugs, but now that Janis brings it up she is absolutely freezing.

“It’s a ten minute walk, Butterfly,” Janis chuckles. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Cady yawns when Janis carries her past the stairs and down the hall.

“I can feel you shivering, let’s go have hot chocolate,” Janis responds, shifting her grip and then resting her on the counter.

“Oh,” Cady says happily. “Okay.”

Janis pours some milk into mugs and puts them in the microwave, then returns to her girlfriend. Cady grins as Janis cups her face and leans in, wrapping her legs around Janis’ waist and pulling her closer. They lose themselves in the bliss of one another, in kiss after kiss.

Until the microwave beeps and Janis has to scramble to stop it before it wakes up her family. She manages after just two beeps, Cady giggling quietly from her perch on the counter as she removes the warm mugs and adds in the cocoa, then a touch of cinnamon and some marshmallows. She puts crushed candy canes in her own, leaving Cady’s plain since she hates mint.

“Thank you, my love,” Cady says when Janis passes hers over, cradling the toasty drink in both hands and taking a small sip. It almost burns her tongue, but she’s so cold from her journey over that it actually feels nice. Janis pops up on the counter next to her and leans her head on her shoulder.

Cady laces their fingers together and leans her head against Janis’ with a few gentle kisses to her hair. They both take small sips of their tasty drinks, feeling the peace of the holiday as they’re alone together in a dark kitchen in the middle of the night.

“Merry Christmas, Peanut,” Janis murmurs when the clock on the stove hits midnight.

“Merry Christmas, Jayjay,” Cady mutters back. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Janis says, finishing off her cocoa. Cady downs the rest of hers and hands her mug over, then clings to Janis as she comes to scoop her back off the counter.

“Surprised you made it up this late,” Janis murmurs. “Midnight’s impressive for you.”

“I know,” Cady yawns. “You make good hot chocolate. ‘M sleepy.”

“Thank you,” Janis chuckles. She rests Cady on her bed and crawls in after her, grinning happily when her girlfriend latches back onto her like an adorable octopus. “Goodnight, Butterfly.”

“Night night, Bluejay,” Cady mumbles back, drifting off almost immediately in her girlfriend’s warm embrace.

————-

The next afternoon, they meet at Cady’s house to do their gift exchange with Damian. Janis had driven Cady back home in the wee hours of the morning, so their families were none the wiser that they had spent the night together.

Damian opens his presents first, getting a signed Cabaret playbill from Janis and several new pairs of fun socks for his collection from Cady.

Janis goes next. Damian got her some new jackets to customize (to make up for the one sacrificed to make Cady’s special cuddle cushion). Cady’s gift is smaller, and Janis opens a fancy box to reveal a charm bracelet.

It’s mostly empty, but there’s one fancy-looking gem and one half of a heart, similar to the split necklaces she has with Damian.

“I know it’s not really your style,” Cady says nervously. “But I figured you could fill it up however you want. And you don’t have to wear it. I have the other heart charm, I just have to find something to put it on.”

“I’ll wear it forever, back off,” Janis says protectively, fastening it around her wrist. “I love it.”

“Oh, good,” Cady breathes. It’s finally her turn to open her own presents. Damian surprises her with her plane ticket to New York to stay with them for spring break. “No way!”

“You said you wanted to come see New York,” Janis responds with a giggle as Cady tackles Damian in a hug. He hugs her tightly for a while before letting her go to open her present from Janis.

Once again, it seems that Janis and Cady have had similar ideas. “Chains?” Cady asks confusedly.

“For your necklace,” Janis replies. “For Rhys. You can try them all and figure out which ones you can handle, there’s a bunch of different ones. And if none of them work then I’ll take you to the shop when you come visit us and you can pick some to try.”

Cady has two very important necklaces that she can’t wear due to the chains. One is a locket containing some of her brother’s ashes, and the other is a charm with his thumbprint etched into it. Janis figured she can move both charms to one chain once they figure out which one she can use.

Janis frowns in concern when she sees her girlfriend’s eyes brimming with tears, but Cady just rockets herself into her arms and kisses her neck a few times.

“Thank you,” she chokes softly. “So much.”

“Of course, baby. I know how bad you want to wear them, we’ll figure out a way for you to,” Janis murmurs in reply, holding her close.

Cady reaches for Damian too, so he comes over and squishes both of them in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas,” Cady says quietly.

“Merry Christmas!” Damian cheers. “I love you guys.”

“Oh! That reminds me!” Cady says suddenly, wiggling her way out of the cuddle and running to turn the lights off. They’re illuminated only by the lights on the tree until Cady grabs her phone and turns on the flashlight. “Gimme your wrist, Jay.”

Janis reaches the one with the bracelet over to her in confusion. Cady spins it until the charm with the gem is found, then presses the light to the underside.

“Whoa,” Janis whispers. The dark walls are now illuminated with writing in several languages. She looks around until she finds one she recognizes.

“It says ‘I love you’ in a bunch of different languages,” Cady says just as she finds English. “Here, hold it.”

Janis takes the light and continues holding it to the gem, and Cady runs to the wall to point out all the languages. “It’s technically from China, so they might not be perfect. But this is Spanish, ‘Te quiero’, and this is Swahili,” she says excitedly, having to stand on her tippy toes to reach it. “‘Nakupenda’, and over here is Swedish, ‘Jag älskar dig’.”

She continues running around and pointing to them all excitedly, having to jump to reach certain ones or stand on her tippy toes for others. Janis is amazed that she can recognize and pronounce them all, even the languages she doesn’t speak.

Cady turns the lights back on and sits back down once all of them have been pointed out. Damian and Janis had just let her have at it. It’s quite entertaining, watching her run around and chatter about one of her interests.

“Thanks, babe,” Janis chuckles as a panting Cady plops down in between them. “That’s really sweet. And your explanation was very informative.”

“Thank you,” Cady puffs. “Now, what Christmas movies are you going to introduce me to this year?”

Damian’s eyes suddenly light up and he gasps dramatically. “We never did Elf!”

“Fuck!” Janis says when she remembers that unfortunate fact. “Cads, come on, we have to do this now. This is vital.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles, moving them to the couch. She hands Damian the remote and Janis the blankets so they can get everything ready, then heads into the kitchen herself to get their munchies.

She comes back to a full-on blanket fort and a movie waiting for them, handing over the towering plate of cookies and mugs of hot chocolate. Janis pulls her in close and cuddles Cady between herself and Damian.

Best Christmas yet, Cady thinks to herself as the movie begins.

————-

In January, Janis and Damian are officially returned to New York and Cady heads back to school.

Two weeks in, she catches a miserable cold. Apparently it circulates every year, known as the college plague. Regina let her have the dorm room and was spending the nights with friends so she could avoid it as much as possible.

Cady doesn’t want to let Janis know she’s sick, so she hauls herself out of her bed and down to the desk for their weekly Facetime date. Seeing Janis will make her feel better anyway.

“Hey, Peanut,” Janis says happily as soon as her girlfriend comes into view on screen, but it quickly turns into a frown. Cady is bundled in Damian’s blue hoodie, and already wearing her glasses instead of contacts. Janis can also see her bed is unmade and covered with tissues, and spies a bottle of medicine off to the side.

“Hi, Jay,” Cady says, trying to keep the slight croak out of her pained voice. “How are you?”

“Absolutely not,” Janis says. “Go get in bed.”

“What?” Cady says confusedly. “Why?”

“Baby, I can tell you’re miserable, go get in bed,” Janis insists. “Talk to me there, you should be lying down.”

“I’m fine,” Cady says. Janis raises an eyebrow. “Ugh, okay.”

Cady unplugs the computer rests it on her bed, plugging it back into the other outlet before she crawls back into bed. Janis was right, being in bed is much better. She props herself up on her pillows and covers herself with her blanket, then rests the computer with Janis still watching in concern on her lap.

“Much better,” Janis smiles. “What did you catch, Butterfly?”

“It’s just a cold,” Cady says with a sniffle. “I’ll be fine in a couple days.”

Janis pouts. “Poor Peanut. Have you eaten? And are you drinking water?”

Cady holds up her water bottle. “Yes, of course. I haven’t eaten dinner yet, but it’s fine. I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Okay,” Janis says. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, love,” Cady says. Suddenly, she sneezes violently a couple times. Janis chuckles, she’s always found Cady’s sneezes adorable. Cady pouts as she blows her nose. “Don’ laugh a’ me.”

“Sorry, Butterfly,” Janis says. “You should rest, baby.”

“No,” Cady frowns. “Don’t hang up, I’m fine.”

“I won’t,” Janis says. “If you’re sure you’re okay.”

Cady nods. “How has your week been?”

“Good, actually,” Janis says a bit quieter. She has a sneaky plan to get Cady to rest. Cady loves her voice, so if she just keeps talking, maybe she’ll go to sleep. “My new portrait professor is really funny, and he makes everything so easy to understand.”

“Good,” Cady grins.

“Yeah, he’s really nice,” Janis says. “And he’s gay, he’s got a husband and kids. He always draws one of them whenever he has to do a model or give an example, it’s really cute.”

“Aww,” Cady says, trying to hide a yawn. Janis has noticed she’s sliding down her pillows slightly and definitely noticed the stifled yawn. Cady rests the laptop next to her and turns onto her side, taking her glasses off and cuddling in with her blankets. Nearly there.

“And I got a new assignment to draw more natural stuff from one of my other classes, so Damian and I have been going to Central Park a lot,” Janis continues, grinning as Cady’s eyes start to flutter shut. “It’s cold, but it’s really pretty all covered in snow and stuff. Hopefully everything will be green by the time you’re here, though.”

Cady grins a little at the reminder that they’ll be back together in March, and that she gets to see New York for the first time ever. She doesn’t say anything, just continues letting Janis talk and lull her to sleep.

Janis continues rambling about all her art and what she and Damian have been up to until she sees Cady’s eyes flutter shut and her chest begin to rise and fall evenly. She’s snoring ever so gently, since she’s so congested from her cold.

Janis did promise not to hang up, so she reaches to grab her sketchbook. Cady snoozes and Janis sketches her, penciling in all her freckles and stroking out her long eyelashes as they rest on her cheeks.

Cady still hasn’t woken up after a rather long time, even when Janis finishes drawing her messy curls and shading her red nose. Janis sends a text to Regina asking her to drop some food off for Cady, and then unfortunately has to hang up.

“Sleep well, Peanut,” she whispers. “I love you.”

She shoots Cady a text for her to find when she wakes up and closes the screen.

————-

In February, Cady’s birthday comes around. All she really wants is some cuddles from Janis and Damian, but it’s just unreasonable to expect them to come back for one day.

Instead, she’s surprised to open the door to her dorm room and find it completely covered in balloons and streamers. Regina fires off a rather large confetti cannon as soon as she enters, making them both shriek in surprise at the loud bang and entirely too much confetti rain down from the ceiling. A few pieces actually get stuck hanging from it, or lost in lampshades.

“Happy birthday, bitch!” Regina calls once they’ve both recovered. “Shit.”

“Regina, oh my god,” Cady laughs, pointing to a completely busted ceiling lamp. “This is… wow.”

“Janis did it,” Regina shrugs. “I blame her.”

“Sorry!” A voice rings out from the desk. “I didn’t read the measurements right. Turns out that size is for outdoor use only.”

“Hey, love!” Cady laughs, coming to greet her girlfriend on Facetime. “Thanks for the rest of it! But now we have to pay for that light.”

“I’ll get that too, it’s my bad,” Janis winces. “Happy birthday, baby!”

“Thanks,” Cady says. “Oh, hi Damian!”

“Hey, Caddy,” Damian greets, leaning in next to Janis. There’s a bowl of what looks suspiciously like popcorn on his lap. “Happy birthday, I miss you!”

“I miss you too, D,” Cady says. “One more month!”

“Yeah!” He cheers, leaning back over to his spot.

“Okay, go get comfy,” Regina demands, pointing to her bed.

“What’s happening?” Cady asks confusedly, but listens, going to grab her blanket and a pillow and getting into Regina’s bunk.

“Movie night, duh,” Regina says. “Here.” She hands the laptop over to Cady and grabs a bowl of snacks Cady hadn’t seen before, then crawls into the bed next to her.

Cady rests the laptop between them so they can both see the movie and their friends. Suddenly, another call comes in. “Oh, yay!” Cady answers it and smiles as Karen comes onto the screen. She’s still in Evanston, attending the local community college and working part time.

“Happy birthday, Cady! Cake emoji!” Karen says happily.

“Thanks, Karen!” Cady responds. Then, yet another call comes in. “No way.”

Gretchen is all the way in France, studying fashion at one of the most elite schools there.

“Oh my god, Gretch, hi!” Cady says. Gretchen looks very tired, but smiles when she sees her friends and girlfriend. Janis is only a few states away from Cady, she can’t imagine what it must be like for Gretchen and Karen trying to do long-distance from different continents.

“Hey, Cady lady! Happy birthday,” Gretchen says softly so she doesn’t wake up her roommates.

“This is crazy,” Cady says happily. Janis really went all out setting it up.

“Happy birthday, baby. What movie do you want to watch?” Janis asks, grinning at her girlfriend’s happy smile.

Cady looks sheepish. “The Lion King?”

Everyone laughs, knowing her well. Janis pulls it up on the shared screen so they can all watch at the same time. “Of course you do. Here we go.”

Cady cuddles in with her blanket and munches happily on her snacks. It’s a perfect evening, and she can’t wait to see all her friends in person again soon.

—————

Juliana’s birthday is the day before Cady flies to New York. Julie has kept her updated on how school has been going and what life is like in Evanston, but they haven’t seen each other in person since January.

So, Cady drives home to surprise her. Turning twelve is a very important occasion. She talks with Janis on the phone as she makes the rather long drive back to her hometown.

She switches to Facetime Janis as she pulls onto the correct street and puts the car in park. Julie deserves to see her sister’s face, even if they can’t be together in person.

Damian pops up as well. He might as well be their brother anyway, he’s so close with both of them. Cady grins as she knocks on the door. It’s different, knowing Janis isn’t going to be there, but she’s still excited to see Juliana.

“Cady!” Julie yells happily as she opens the door. Cady grunts slightly as she hugs her. Julie is officially taller than her now at 5’4”, much to Cady‘s chagrin.

“Hey, kiddo! Happy birthday,” Cady greets as Julie squeezes her tightly. “Oh, here, I forgot your present in the car.”

She hands over her phone so Janis can talk to her sister, smiling as she hears Janis yell a very loud happy birthday over the speakers. Julie laughs and continues talking to Janis and Damian while Cady grabs a gift bag from the car.

“Okay, this is technically from all three of us, Janis and Damian sent me their parts of it,” Cady says, handing the bag over and taking her phone back so Janis and Damian can see Julie open it.

Julie tears into it quickly, removing the tissue paper and pulling out a jacket like Janis’, a few starter paints, and some patches. She’s always wanted to be like Janis, so they all got her a jacket of her own to decorate however she wants. Janis bought the jacket itself, Damian got the patches, and Cady bought the paint set.

Julie gasps excitedly when she sees everything all together. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

Cady laughs as she runs to hug her again, and hears similar reactions from Janis and Damian through the speakers. “You’re welcome, Jules. What do you want to do now?”

“Cake,” Julie says instantly. She and Janis are remarkably similar sometimes. “Janny, it’s chocolate, should I save you some?”

Cady watches Janis process that and try to hide the tears pricking her eyes. She won’t be back in Illinois to see her sister until May, even if they freeze the cake it’ll be nearly inedible by the time she could.

“Nah, Jules, it’s fine,” Janis replies as Julie leads Cady into the house. “You eat my piece too and then we’ll buy another one when I come back.”

“Okay,” Julie giggles.

Everyone sings her happy birthday after their mom lights the candles, and Julie blows them out happily. Cady hears Janis sing extra loudly, both to beat out Damian and to make sure Juliana could still hear her.

Janis stays on the phone with them for the rest of the day, there in spirit to help Julie decide what to put on her jacket and where, and also when Cady takes her out for ice cream for dinner. As the sun sets Juliana remarks that she had even more fun today than when she got to go bowling with her friends the evening before.

Cady does eventually have to both hang up on her girlfriend and get back to her own house so she can prepare for her trip the next day. Julie hugs her tightly before she can leave.

“Thank you for coming,” she says quietly.

“Of course,” Cady replies. “I think of you as my sister too. I’ll always come for your birthdays.”

Juliana clings to her a little tighter at that, and Cady squeezes her back before she does actually have to let go and leave. Cady is glad to have a sibling in some form again.

—————

Cady wakes up entirely too early the next morning, excited to see her girlfriend again for the first time since January. Her flight doesn’t leave for another six hours or so, so she has some time to kill.

She double checks she has everything packed in her suitcase and that all her tickets are in order, makes her bed extra carefully, and then heads to find some breakfast downstairs.

Cady can barely focus enough to make cereal, she’s so excited at the prospect of seeing both Janis and New York City. Her parents come down as she’s cleaning up after herself, so she decides to catch up with them for a while.

After several rounds of Guitar Hero, her dad reminds her of her flight and she rushes back upstairs to get ready.

Cady flies through taking a shower, brushing her hair and teeth, and putting on some comfy travel clothes before she grabs her bags and runs back downstairs. Her parents chuckle at her eagerness and lead her to the car to drop her off.

She hugs them goodbye before she has to pass through security, and then she’s off on her little adventure.

Janis texts her as she waits at the gate for her flight to be called to board. It’s a video of her trying to haul Damian out of bed and him moaning that it’s a ‘holy day’ and demanding more sleep.

She giggles quietly at her friends’ antics and smiles when she remembers she’ll be able to hug them in just a few hours. Cady sends back a message telling Janis to leave Damian alone to sleep and another excited message telling her she can’t wait to hug and kiss her again.

Janis texts back the same and tells her she’ll be waiting (hopefully with Damian, but that remains to be seen) at the airport with all the cuddles and kisses they’ve been lacking for the last two months.

Three hours later she’s officially in a different state, and in a different time zone, and in her girlfriend’s arms. Cady’s bags wait on the carousel as she clings tightly to Janis and kisses all over her face. They get a few strange looks, but neither of them really care.

Damian did end up coming, so Cady hugs him tightly as well. He kindly takes her suitcase out to their Uber so Cady can hold hands with both of them instead.

Janis smiles when she sees the necklace Cady has on, containing both her charms for her brother. She’d tried all the chains for a week, and found one with smaller links that was the least aggravating. After a bit of practice, she can wear it all day now. Her goal now is to find a bracelet she can wear to put her half-heart charm on to match Janis’.

—————-

Janis unlocks the door to their apartment for them and leads Cady in to show her around. It’s rather small, but has an impressive two bedrooms. Cady likes it, it’s very cozy.

She especially likes Janis’ bedroom, which has been personalized wall to wall. She put paper on the walls and painted over that, intricate murals of all sorts of patterns and colors and textures. Her familiar black bedsheets don the bed, and Cady smiles when she sees her Mathletes jacket covering a pillow that Janis cuddles.

Janis flops down onto it and reaches for her actual girlfriend, so Cady cuddles into her happily.

“I love it here already,” she says quietly, nuzzling into Janis’ neck and fiddling with her pink-tipped hair. “You look good with pink hair.”

“You think?” Janis responds. “I was kind of scared to try it, actually. Damian made me do it.”

“Yes! You look good in pink, I keep trying to tell you,” Cady giggles. “Maybe I should dye mine.”

“No,” Janis whines, fiddling with Cady’s curls. “I love your hair.”

Cady grins at her. “Not even like you do? Don’t you think I’d look fun with, like, purple hair for a couple days?”

Janis ponders that, looking at her girlfriend to analyze. “Maybe. If you really want to. I do think you’d look good, I just love you as a redhead.”

“Thank you,” Cady smiles. “I love you in every color.”

“You’re so sappy,” Janis groans, but she’s smiling happily too. “I missed you.”

“I missed you so much,” Cady replies quietly. “I can’t wait for summer.”

“Two more months,” Janis agrees. “Then we have so many movie nights and cuddle sessions to make up for.”

Cady smiles again and cuddles back into Janis’ shoulder. “I can’t wait. I’ve missed in-person movie nights.”

“I have too. It’s not the same without you attached to my arm like an octopus when we watch scary movies,” Janis teases. “Or without you trying to steal my popcorn.”

“Our popcorn, excuse you,” Cady retaliates. “I get girlfriend privileges. If we’re watching scary movies it’s our arm and our popcorn.”

Janis laughs at that and rolls onto her side so they can face each other. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Cady replies, inching closer and leaning in for kisses. Janis rests a hand on her cheek and responds in kind, running her tongue gently over her bottom lip and pulling her closer when Cady gasps quietly.

After a while, neither of them is sure how long exactly, Cady pulls back abruptly with a gasp.

“What happened?” Janis asks in concern.

“Our anniversary,” Cady says. “It’s been a year, on my birthday.”

“Oh, yeah,” Janis says. “I was more focused on the birthday, I totally forgot.”

“So did I,” Cady chuckles. “Well, we can celebrate now.”

“Yeah we can,” Janis purrs, rolling to pin Cady underneath her and pressing their lips together again. She hopes Damian took a hint and went out somewhere.

—————-

The next day, Janis and Damian show Cady around the city. Janis shows her the local jewelry store and helps Cady pick a charm bracelet chain to try, and then Damian takes them to the Broadway area to look around.

“Wow,” Cady says in awe at all the bright colors and big signs. It’s strange to think that all the bootlegs she’s watched with Damian over the years were filmed in these buildings. “It’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t it just?” Damian sighs dramatically. “Oh, that reminds me. I have a very, very late birthday present for you, Cads.”

“Aww, really?” Cady asks. Janis raises a suspicious eyebrow. A present this late is almost sure to have some sort of selfish motivation behind it.

“Um… I might have impulse bought three tickets to Wicked,” he says sheepishly. “Surprise!”

“No way!” Cady calls and leaps into his arms. She’s aware of its reputation as one of the more ‘basic’ musicals out there, but it is still one of her favorites. Janis seems kind of excited as well, though she loathes musicals. “When is it?”

“A few hours, we have a little bit of time to kill,” Damian responds. “We should eat first, anyway.”

Cady refuses to let him go, so Damian carries her piggyback to their favorite sandwich place that he and Janis had discovered while they were lost one night. Neither of them are still totally sure how it happened since the streets are numbered, but Janis wasn’t particularly surprised, knowing their math skills, even combined, are rather sub-par.

—————-

Several hours later, they’re in the theater and ready to watch the show. Cady is shaking with excitement, looking around in awe at the set and all the lights. Their seats aren’t very close to the stage, but Cady is excited that she can see the whole thing at once.

Janis squeezes her hand and smiles affectionately at her girlfriend’s joy. Damian grabs Janis’ bag and passes out the snacks he’d managed to smuggle in. Cady offers Janis some of her Sour Patch Kids, which Janis takes. In return, Cady gets a few Milk Duds.

Cady leans onto her shoulder as the opening music starts, and stays there for the whole first act. Janis can feel every smile and hear every gasp or reaction to the events on stage. Janis is rather shocked herself, having somehow never seen the show. She’s quite frightened when they finally get to Defying Gravity and Elphaba is suddenly at their eye level.

Cady buys them all matching t-shirts from the merch area after the show, still vibrating with the adrenaline. Janis is pouting, making Cady frown.

“What’s the matter? Didn’t you have fun?” She asks sadly, wrapping her arms around Janis’ neck. Janis holds onto her waist while Damian heads off to take pictures of everything.

“I did,” Janis responds. “I just really thought Elphaba and Glinda would end up together.”

“Oh,” Cady laughs. “I did too, honestly. Fiyero isn’t bad, though. He’s cute.”

“You’d make a good Galinda,” Janis murmurs, leaning down for a quick kiss.

“And you would make a great Elphie,” Cady says, kissing her back.

“You really think I could sing like that?” Janis chuckles. “I don’t think I could handle being up so high.”

“You have a beautiful voice, of course you could,” Cady says. “And she’s fastened in, you wouldn’t fall.”

“Still, did you see how high they go? And you’d be in the bubble,” Janis mumbles with an anxious shudder. “Maybe for Halloween.”

Cady grins back. “Yeah, that’d be better. Then you can stay on the ground.”

“Humans aren’t supposed to be up that high!” Janis insists. “I’m the normal one here for once.”

“I never said you weren’t,” Cady giggles at her reaction. “Come on, let’s go find Damian.”

Janis pouts but follows as Cady hauls her around by the hand.

—————-

Janis and Damian drop Cady off at the airport again at the end of the week. Cady has an extra suitcase now, to carry all of her treasures she’s acquired in the city.

They all cling to one another desperately before Cady has to pass through security. Damian heads to a vending machine to give Cady and Janis some alone time.

They’re both already crying slightly, sniffling into each other’s shoulders. A single week together isn’t nearly enough time.

“It’s just two more months,” Cady whispers. “We’ve made it this far, we can do it again.”

“But I don’t want to do it again,” Janis whimpers. “I want to be with you.”

“I know, love. So do I,” Cady sniffles. “We’ll have the whole summer together. We can do it.”

“Summer,” Janis repeats to comfort herself. It feels years away. “God, I thought this was supposed to get easier.”

“I don’t think it ever will,” Cady chuckles sardonically. “Kiss me.”

Janis obliges, tugging Cady in by the waist as Cady cups her cheeks. She tries to memorize the cherry scent of her hair, and the artificial watermelon taste of her chapstick that still lingers. Neither of them care that they’re making out in an incredibly crowded airport, or that they’re getting strange looks. They need this moment.

“Two months,” Janis whispers when they break apart.

“Two months,” Cady repeats. They’ve already done their calendars for the next few months, and heavily decorated the day Janis and Damian would be flying back for the summer. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Janis sniffs.

“I love you most,” Cady murmurs, tipping her face back up for more kisses.

Damian comes back after another couple minutes and gives a cough to announce his return, so they break apart regretfully. Cady heads to cling to him, and he holds her just as tight.

“Bye, Little Slice,” he says sadly. Cady squishes her face against his chest to hide her tears.

“Bye, D,” she whispers back. “I’ll see you in May.”

Janis presses against her back so Cady is totally pinned between her art freaks. They stay like that until the last possible minute, but Cady does still have a flight home to catch.

She heads through security and blows them kisses from the other side, which they return before they head to leave.

Two months.

——————

Cady and Janis talk every day, and still have their weekly Facetime dates. They text in between classes and call to chat as they study for finals.

Until Cady doesn’t answer the phone one day.

Janis tries not to worry. She knows that it’s Cady’s last week to prepare, and that she has good reason to be stressed. But Cady’s never ignored her calls or messages before.

Janis tries not to bother her, only leaving one voicemail and trying to limit the amount of texts she sends.

She smiles when a call from Cady finally comes through, but it quickly fades when she picks up. Apparently she hadn’t been restrained enough for Cady’s taste.

“Janis, what do you want? My exams are next week, I have to study,” Cady huffs.

Janis is confused, she just wanted to check in. “I just… wanted to talk to you. I miss you.”

“Janis, these are important,” Cady growls in retaliation. “I miss you too, but god.”

“If that’s how it is,” Janis replies quietly. “Then I’ll leave you alone.” She hangs up and turns her phone to silent, plopping it into her nightstand drawer before turning away from it and crying into her pillow.

Damian wakes her up a few hours later, she must have drifted off. “I made dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” Janis whispers back, not even turning to look at him. “I’ll eat later.”

“No you fucking will not, what happened?” Damian demands, flicking on her light and coming into her bed with her.

“Nothing happened, I’m just not hungry,” Janis insists, turning to squish her face into her pillow so he can’t see the tear tracks. He isn’t fooled, hauling her up by the back of her shirt like a mama cat grabs a kitten. “Hey!”

He rests her down once she’s upright and looks at her face. “You’ve been crying. What happened?”

Janis falls apart with one look into his eyes, bursting into heartbroken tears again. Damian pulls her in for a hug and waits for an explanation.

She’s crying too hard and doesn’t want to give details, so she just sobs out a “Cady.” and hopes he can piece together what he needs to.

“Did you have a fight?” He asks gently. Janis nods and cries harder into his chest. “Okay, shh. We’ll work it out.”

Janis cries herself to sleep again, somehow, so Damian tucks her in and heads back to the kitchen. He can’t believe he’s even considering the possibility, but maybe Regina can help.

damecupboard: Hey Reggie

georgewashington: Hey, Damian. What’s up?

damecupboard: Has Caddy said anything about Janis? Or been acting weird?

georgewashington: Janis, no. Acting weird, definitely. She’s been super on edge the last couple days. She yelled at me for breathing too loud while she was trying to study.

damecupboard: Jesus

damecupboard: She and Janis had a fight, Janis is messed up. She’s cried herself to sleep twice today already

georgewashington: I’m not surprised they fought. I don’t think Cady’s slept in three days. Poor Janis.

damecupboard: This isn’t like her, can you try to talk to her?

georgewashington: Uh. I can try, but it’s kind of like volunteering to enter a cage with a hungry lion.

damecupboard: Just try to ask her what’s going on but don’t make it obvious

georgewashington: Got it.

Damian bites his thumbnail anxiously while he waits for Regina to answer again. It’s not until nearly ten minutes later that his text tone pings off again.

georgewashington: Well. I think our whole building knows she’s on edge now, but in between yelling things I couldn’t understand she kept talking about getting into a good grad school and mentioning Janis.

damecupboard: Huh. She can totally get into a good school on her own, these aren’t that important

georgewashington: I’m worried about her, she really hasn’t slept in a few days. And she barely eats. All she does is study.

damecupboard: Yeah, yelling at you guys really isn’t like her. If I get Janis to, can you try to get her into a “movie night”? I think if they can see each other and talk it’ll help

georgewashington: You’re really just gonna sacrifice me like that huh.

georgewashington: I’ll try. Six your time, get Janis and call. If we don’t pick up she has actually murdered me for even asking.

damecupboard: Got it. Sorry, Reggie

damecupboard: I’ll make them buy you flowers

georgewashington: I like poppies.

Damian chuckles at her response and goes to wake up Janis again. He frowns when he finds her clinging to her pillow with Cady’s mathletes jacket covering it.

“Janjan, come on, your food is getting cold,” he says quietly, shaking her awake again. “You gotta come eat and then you can go back to bed.”

Janis just groans and turns to lie on her belly.

“You know full well I will haul your ass out of bed myself, come eat,” Damian insists, clapping his hands to try and get her to move.

“Can’t I just eat in here? And be sad?” Janis asks pitifully, poking out one chocolate brown eye to blink at him sadly.

“No.”

“Why?” Janis groans.

“Because I’m lonely, you have to keep me company,” Damian lies. “It’s your legal obligation as my roommate. It was in the papers we had to sign.”

Not even a chuckle. “Entertain yourself.”

Damian grabs her ankle and starts dragging her out of bed. Janis doesn’t resist but also doesn’t get up. “Come on.”

“No,” she whines, reaching for her blanket. She gives an “Oof!” as she thuds to the ground, but lets him continue to drag her out of the room and into the kitchen.

Damian allows her to stay on the ground, resting her plate of food on her chest and dragging her over to the couch. Janis pouts at him from the ground, so he removes the plate and helps her up, then hands it back.

She eats slowly, and leans on his shoulder with a sad sigh once her last bite is gone. He pulls her close and looks to the clock, it’s nearly six.

“What are you doing?” Janis asks confusedly when he reaches for his laptop and rests it on the coffee table in front of them.

“Nothing,” Damian replies quickly, but she can see him open Facetime and click through to Regina’s contact.

“Damian, no, I don’t wanna see them,” Janis whines. The call goes through regardless and catches Cady mid-very loud sentence.

“I told you, I don’t have time for a movie! God, what is with you people? First Janis, now you?!” She yells, presumably at Regina who’s just offscreen. Janis is suddenly confronted with the memory of their very short phone call, and some more unpleasant ones from their high school days. She feels herself sniffle and let out a sob into Damian’s shoulder, making Cady suddenly snap her head to look at the screen.

“Hey,” Damian greets with a wave, as if he hasn’t just witnessed the terrifying display of Cady-rage on screen and doesn’t have a very upset Janis weeping into his shoulder. “How’s it going?”

Cady suddenly looks very sheepish. She frowns when she sees Janis crying quietly.

“Cady. Talk to them.�� Regina demands. Cady’s bottom lip starts trembling and she suddenly bursts into tears as well.

“God, I’m so sorry,” she sobs. “I’ve… I’ve been such a bitch, I’m so sorry. Janis.”

Janis looks up when she hears her girlfriend start crying, still instinctively wanting to comfort her even though she’s distraught herself. Damian pats her shoulder comfortingly to try and get her to talk.

“What is going on with you?” Janis asks. It sounds more rude than she wants it to, but it’ll do.

“Jay, I’m so sorry,” Cady sobs. “I’ve been… I’m trying to study as much as I can. If I don’t pass then I might-I might get bumped back a semester, or I won’t get into grad school. I-I have to pass, I have to do well enough. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Why are you so worried about this?” Janis asks quietly with a shaky sniffle. “You’ll pass.”

Cady starts crying harder at the question. “Because if I don’t I might never see you again,” she wails rapidly.

“Whoa, what?” Janis says. “What are you talking about?”

“If I don’t pass I won’t get into grad school and then I won’t be smart enough for you and-and I’m trying to get into schools in New York so I can be close to you but if I don’t then we have to keep doing this and I don’t want you to leave me,” Cady sobs. “But now I fucked everything up and got mad at you and you might anyway!”

Janis suddenly realizes this goes a lot deeper than she thought, and Janis didn’t actually have anything to do with her outburst at all. Damian leaves suddenly to give them some privacy, and she hears the door to Cady’s dorm click shut through the speakers, signaling Regina has done the same.

“Caddy, hey,” Janis says as Cady has her face buried in her arms at her desk. “When was the last time you slept?”

Cady peeks up at her and chokes out more sobs. “I don’t know. I think Tuesday.”

“And when was the last time you ate?” Janis asks quietly.

“Lunch, a while ago,” Cady sobs again.

“Baby, this isn’t healthy,” Janis says. “You can’t do this to yourself.”

“But I have to study, Jay, I have so much to-“

“No,” Janis insists. “You don’t. You’re burning yourself out. You haven’t slept in four days, and Regina just told me that ‘lunch’ you ate was yesterday. You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep going like this.”

“No, I have to-“

“Cady Jane Heron, listen to me,” Janis demands loudly. Cady snaps her head up and looks at the screen almost in fear. “I love you. I love you more than anything in this fucking world put together. I’m not going to break up with you because you don’t get into a grad school. I don’t care how smart you are. I love that you’re brilliant because it’s part of who you are, but if that changes it doesn’t change you. Or how much I love you. And we’ve made it this long being apart, I can handle a little bit longer for you to try again or figure out what else you want to do. All I care about right now is you being okay and still loving me at the end of the day.”

Cady dissolves into heavy sobs, burying her face in her arms again. “I’m not okay, Jay.”

“I know, baby. I know,” Janis says. “We’ll work on it. For now, go get in bed. I’ll have Regina bring you something to eat.”

Cady nods and unplugs the computer, climbing up into her unmade bed and crying gently against her pillows. Janis texts Regina and asks her to grab something quick for Cady to eat and letting her know Cady is sure to give a very long and tearful apology for her behavior.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Jay,” Cady mumbles in the meantime. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not gonna say it’s okay,” Janis replies. “But I understand. But you can’t do this again. You have to tell someone if you’re feeling like this, and I’m gonna get Reggie to watch you a little closer for a while. I love you.”

“Okay,” Cady sniffles. “I love you too.”

She perks up when Regina comes back with some soup from the dining hall, and starts sobbing again. Janis lets her apologize to Regina and waits for her to come back on screen.

Cady says her apologies several times over, and Janis can see Regina hug her begrudgingly from the edge of the screen. Now that she’s gotten her apologies in order, Cady gradually calms down, taking some deep breaths in between spoonfuls of her soup. It’s warm and filling, and she drifts off just after the last bite passes her lips.

Regina grabs the laptop and empty tray from her lap. Cady turns onto her side, deeply asleep.

“Fucking hell,” Regina murmurs under her breath. “I’ve never seen her like that, that was scary.”

“You’re telling me,” Janis jokes weakly. “Can you make sure she showers and eats again whenever she wakes up? And don’t let her study for a while?”

“Sure, I’ll hide her books,” Regina says, marking Cady’s pages and places with bookmarks before she carefully stashes them all in one of her own dresser drawers.

“Thanks,” Janis chuckles. “Let me know if anything happens.”

“Got it,” Regina replies. “Later, art freak.”

“Bye, Barbie.”

Janis closes the screen with a heavy sigh and leans her head into her hands as Damian enters again. “Everything sorted?”

“For now,” Janis sighs. “Fuck, D.”

“I know,” Damian comforts. “She’ll be okay. And now you know you can handle conflict from different states, that’s a plus.”

Janis is very glad she still has a girlfriend by the end of this day. “Can I sleep in your bed?”

“And you say you’re not clingy,” Damian teases. “Come on, loser, chop chop.”

————-

Cady is much more rational after a night of sleep, and texts both Janis and Damian one more apology. They Facetime Cady and Regina every day until the end of their term. Cady takes much better care of herself throughout, and only studies in short bursts. She passes all her exams with flying colors, as everyone knew she would.

Janis and Damian’s finals are the following week, and then they’re packing up their apartment and flying home for the summer. They decided to leave Janis’ truck there and not drive home for the sake of simplicity.

Cady texted them and said she couldn’t be at the airport to meet them due to a last math club meeting, but would be able to meet them at Janis’ house once they arrived there.

She, of course, was lying. She’s waiting by baggage claim and smiles when she sees her two favorite people (looking frankly exhausted) grab their suitcases. Cady quickly texts Janis before they can order themselves an Uber, telling her to turn around.

Janis does, and Cady jumps up and down and waves so she can see her. Janis smiles widely and runs to meet her. Cady runs to her too, and they meet each other halfway.

“I thought you couldn’t come,” Janis says as she picks Cady up to spin her around.

“I lied!” Cady says happily. “Payback for Christmas.”

“Ah,” Janis giggles, pulling her close again and wrapping her up tightly. “How are you, Peanut?”

“A lot better,” Cady replies quietly. “My parents put me in therapy to help, too.”

“Good,” Janis says. “Now take me home, I have girlfriend cuddles to catch up on.”

“Okay, come on,” Cady chuckles, lacing their fingers together and grabbing Damian as they leave the building for the last time until fall. Good riddance.

—————-

Juliana comes flying out the door when she sees them pull up, running full tilt towards her sister and pitching herself into her arms. Janis shrieks as her sister suddenly collides with her, but wraps her arms around her tightly.

“You’re weird, Jules,” she teases quietly into her sister’s hair. “You’re not supposed to like me.”

“I don’t, you’re gross,” Julie retaliates, but doesn’t leave. Janis suddenly hears an indignant meow, and looks down to find Pancakes sitting and waiting for his turn.

“How did you get out?” Janis asks, scooping up her chunky cat and stroking his ears. “And how did you get fatter since Christmas?”

“Oh, oops,” Julie says quietly, realizing she left the door open. “Come on.”

Damian and Janis’ moms come out to hug them, and Janis is confused to find Cady’s parents there as well. Cady grabs their suitcases while they make their greetings and carries them in for them.

Janis follows after her a few minutes later, still carrying Pancakes who is refusing to be set down. “What’s happening?”

“Just a little get together,” Cady teases, resting Janis’ suitcase on her bed to be unpacked later. “To celebrate you coming back.”

“Oh,” Janis replies. “What… what sort of get together?”

“You don’t have to be scared, it’s just a barbecue,” Cady giggles. “And nobody else is coming, we just have a lot of food. And Jules got you another cake.”

Janis grins affectionately. “Cute.”

Cady comes up and scritches Pancakes behind his ears, making him purr happily. “I know, Janis is home for three whole months!” Cady agrees excitedly. “And she’s been with me for two hours and hasn’t kissed me yet!”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and cups the back of her neck, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. Pancakes meows crankily when he’s squished between them, so they pull back.

“You’re a real cockblocker sometimes, you know that?” Janis asks him quietly. “Let’s go see if we can steal you some food.”

Pancakes is stuffed into his cat carrier so he can spend the evening in the backyard with them, and given a piece of a cheeseburger patty to appease him.

Janis, Cady, Damian and Juliana play tag while the adults cook, and then have a contest to see who can jump off the swings and land the furthest away.

Cady laughs delightedly as Janis pushes her swing higher, and shrieks in surprise as she comes rushing up behind her upon her landing to pick her up and carry her around. Janis slips after a few steps and they both tumble to the ground, but nobody is hurt.

“Jay, oh my god,” Cady laughs, clutching her stomach. Janis laughs with her and rolls off to the side, lying on her back next to her. “You’re such a dork.”

“Are you okay?” Janis laughs breathlessly. Cady had kind of taken the brunt of their impact with the ground.

“Yeah,” Cady chuckles, her laughter finally slowing. “Are you?”

Janis rolls on top of her again and leans down for a kiss. “I have you back with me, of course I’m okay.”

“You’re such a flirt, oh my god,” Cady giggles. Janis leans down again, but is suddenly beaned in the head with a foam football.

“Ow!” She yells, looking over to where Damian is standing with Juliana on his back.

“Horny police,” Damian calls. “Stop it.”

“Ugh!” Janis grumbles, but does roll off of her girlfriend. “You guys are no fun.”

“You literally just tossed your girlfriend on the ground and then fell on top of her, don’t talk to us about fun,” Julie retaliates. “We just don’t want to see you fuck in public.”

“Hey!” Janis calls, whacking her on the back of the head. “You’re not allowed to swear.”

“But you do it all the time!” Julie says.

“Yeah, do you really want to end up like me?” Janis asks.

“Fair point,” Julie shrugs, shrieking as Janis suddenly lunges for her. She slides off of Damian’s back and runs away from her sister’s wrath, with Janis running full speed after her.

“You little brat, get back here!” Janis yells, increasing her speed.

Cady and Damian watch in a mixture of hilarity and concern, laughing as Julie streaks by them. Janis is gaining on her, however.

Juliana makes it to the adults first, shielded by their mother. “Girls, behave.”

“Yeah, Janny,” Julie teases. “Behave.”

Janis sticks her tongue out at her, and Julie does it back. “Sleep with one eye open tonight.”

Julie dissolves into giggles at the threat, and Janis does too. Cady grins at their interactions, reminded of her brother. She still has the necklace, and touches the charms without thinking of it.

The sisters return to Cady and Damian then, both slightly out of breath. Janis kisses Cady in greeting and smiles as she nuzzles into her shoulder. Julie and Damian both make fake gagging sounds, but they ignore them this time.

Eventually they’re called to eat, and Cady sits on Janis’ lap as they all sit around a picnic blanket and munch happily on their hot dogs and burgers. Janis feels more at peace than she has since July.

Maybe summer is okay.

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #janis sarkisian #damian hubbard #regina george #gretchen wieners #karen smith #mean girls #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical

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sonicgetsrawed · 4 years

Text

Everyday Can Be Like Christmas as Long as I Have You

This is a very late Christmas in July one shot featuring the boys!!! Enjoy!!!

Hugo groaned as the sunlight streamed through the window to his bedroom, the bedroom that he now shared with his boyfriend. Just thinking about how Varian was his boyfriend put a stupid smile on his face. It had almost been six months since their journey across the seven kingdoms and he couldn’t be happier, well he could if it wasn’t the middle of fucking summer and their bedroom just so happened to be in the hottest fucking corner of the castle. He couldn’t even sleep with a blanket, hell, he couldn’t even cuddle with Varian, he was like a fucking furnace himself, and it really put him in a shitty mood. After all that they’d been through was it so wrong for him to just want to cuddle his boyfriend? The sun apparently thought so. The curtains were thrown open, the sun blasting him with its full force. Sun above did it have to be so fucking bright?

“Good morning, babe!” Came Varian’s chipper voice, it was far too peppy for the godawful hour it had to be. He must have actually slept for once, good for him, Hugo couldn’t relate.

Hugo groaned in response, pulling Varian’s pillow over his face in a vain attempt at blocking out the sun.

“Time to get up! I’ve got a big day planned for us!” Varian said, ripping the pillow away from Hugo.

“So do I. It’s called sleeping in.” Hugo said, moving his own pillow over his face. He felt the bed shift as Varian climbed onto it. What he wasn’t expecting was for it to continue moving as Varian jumped up and down on it.

“Get up. Get up. Come on, get up. Hugo, are you up yet? Come on.” Varian repeated as he continued jumping.

Hugo groaned again, giving up as he swung his pillow at Varian. “Fine. I’m up. I’m up.”

“Great!” Varian said, handing Hugo his glasses and a cup of what he assumed was coffee as he settled next to him, pulling Hugo into a sitting position before wrapping his arms around Hugo’s middle and resting his head on his shoulder.

“So what’s your big plan?” Hugo asked, taking a sip from the drink, pulling back immediately as the taste of chocolate settled on his tongue. “Is this hot chocolate?”

“Yup.” Varian answered, a wide smile on his face.

“Why?”

“Why not?” Varian said, and Hugo could practically hear him wiggle his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to retort, but Varian cut him off. “So, you know how last night we were talking about Christmas?”

“Yeah?” Hugo said, confusion lacing his voice, not understanding what that had to do with the hot chocolate in his cup.

“And you said you’d never had a proper Christmas?” Varian continued, moving so he was now facing Hugo.

“And?” Hugo asked, drawing out the word.

“Well, I thought we could celebrate today! Surprise!” Varian finished, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Hugo blinked rapidly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Babe, it’s the middle of fucking summer.”

“I know, but just- just trust me okay?” Varian said, the same wide bucktooth smile on his face like when he had a particularly exciting breakthrough. And really how could Hugo say no to that face.

Hugo sighed, taking another sip of the hot chocolate as he nodded. “Okay. I’ll trust you, I’ll always trust you.”

Varian’s smile turned soft, leaning into Hugo’s touch as he cupped his face. “And I’ll always trust you.” Varian said before claiming Hugo’s lips in a soft kiss, the taste of chocolate still on his tongue and something lingering on Varian’s lips that made his almost tingly. Peppermint maybe. Whatever it was, Hugo decided he quite liked it, expertly moving his cup to the bedside table before snaking his now free hand around Varian’s waist, the other supporting Varian’s head as he fully intended to lay him down on the mattress and just devour his boyfriend. Varian seemed to know exactly what he was doing, pulling back and poking his chest with an accusing finger. “No, I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work.”

“But, babe.” Hugo whined, moving to place kisses along Varian’s neck, his lips teasingly lingering over the sensitive spot that he knew drove Varian mad.

“No.” Varian said a bit more forcefully, pushing Hugo back and fixing him with a glare that would’ve been a lot more menacing if it wasn’t for the way the corners of his lips twitched as he fought back a smile. “Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen in ten.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Hugo said with a playful roll of his eyes, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to weasel out of whatever scheme Varian had planned for the day. And with one last chaste kiss Varian left Hugo alone to prepare for the eventful day.

******************

Hugo arrived in the kitchen thirty minutes later. Sure he was twenty minutes late, but it was his day off, he wasn’t going to rush and on top of that Varian made some damn good hot chocolate. Hugo let out a yawn as he scrubbed the last of the sleep from his eyes and pushed the door open.

“Merry Christmas!” Rapunzel yelled, her brown hair tucked under a chef's hat, the green of her dress peeking out from under her frilly pink apron, flour covering the freckles on her cheeks and a rolling pin in her hand. She threw some flour into the air before grabbing Hugo’s hands and pulling him over to the counter. Varian laughed from behind his hand, wearing a chef's jacket two sizes too big, flour on his face and hair, Rapunzel must have done the same to him. “So I thought we could start with my favorite Christmas activity, making gingerbread cookies!”

“Well we actually already made them, but we are going to decorate them!” Varian said, gesturing to the array of frostings and candies and of course cookies on the counter.

“And then we’re going to eat them!” Rapunzel added, bouncing excitedly on her feet.

“Why can’t we just eat them now?” Hugo asked, snatching one of the gingerbread men off the plate. He eyed it curiously, he’d always seen them in shop windows during the winters, but never actually had one. He’d never understood the fascination with them, sure when he was younger he’d always wanted one, but Donella always said they had more important things to do, more important things to spend money on.

“The point isn’t about eating the cookies, it’s about the memories we make by spending time together decorating them and having fun.” Rapunzel explained, snatching the cookie out of Hugo’s hand before he could take a bite.

“That’s what Christmas is all about. Spending time with the ones you love.” Varian said, placing a kiss to Hugo’s cheek. “Now I’ve got to go, but you two have fun!”

“Wait-“ Hugo reached for Varian’s hand but he was already by the exit, waving at Hugo as he headed out the door. And then he was gone, leaving Hugo alone with Rapunzel, and wasn’t that contradictory to what Varian had said, Christmas was about spending time with those you love and there was no one he loved more than Varian.

“Okay, so I like to start like this-“ Rapunzel explained, picking up a cookie and some icing, Hugo vaguely paying attention as she went about decorating her cookie before getting to work on his own.

After about ten minutes, and about twenty fucked up cookies on Hugo’s part, they opted to just eat the cookies. Now, an hour later Rapunzel was draped across the table, shoveling spoonfuls of icing into her mouth, Hugo laying across from her eating cookie after cookie as they talked.

“And then, Eugene says ‘Sunshine,” Rapunzel said, deepening her voice in a poor imitation of her husband, Hugo not even bothering to hide his laughter as she shoved another spoonful of icing into her mouth before continuing. “‘That’s too much glitter, don’t you think?’ Can you believe that? Too much glitter.”

“The fucking audacity! You can never have too much glitter.” Hugo said, shoveling his own spoonful of icing into his mouth. He felt like he might actually be sick if he had anymore sugar but that didn’t stop him from following up with yet another cookie. If he had to wait another six months for these delicious fuckers he was going to make the most of it.

“Right?! That’s what I said!” Rapunzel agreed, waving her spoon through the air.

“You should dump him.” Hugo deadpanned, pulling his spoon out of his mouth with a pop.

Rapunzel frowned, propping herself up on her elbows. “We’re married.” Rapunzel said, Hugo simply shrugging in response. Rapunzel bursting out in laughter and laying back down, a wide smile on her face. “You know, we should do this more often. It’s been fun.”

Hugo returned the smile with a small nod. “Yeah, it was.”

“I’m so glad!” Came Varian’s voice, Hugo jumping at the sound and scrambling to his feet as if he’d been caught doing something wrong. He supposed old habits die hard. Varian bounded over, grease now replacing the flour that had been on his cheeks. Hugo gently used his thumb to scrub at the grease, smearing it more than removing it, Varian’s nose scrunched up at the action. “Ready for our next stop?”

“Lead the way, Goggles.” Hugo said, taking Varian’s hand in his, placing a kiss to the back of it and letting him lead the way to their next destination.

*****************

Hugo stared up at the library doors. Of all the places he expected them to go it certainly wasn’t here. As much as he loved the library it wasn’t where he wanted to spend his day off. “Var-“

“Trust me.” Varian said, placing a finger over Hugo’s lips before he could continue, likely knowing what Hugo was going to say. Varian smiled widely as he pushed open the doors to the library.

“Merry Christmas, kid!” Eugene said, blowing a handful of confetti into Hugo’s face. Hugo swatted at the assaulting pieces of paper, although his annoyance didn’t last long as he took in the rest of the library. Garland and tinsel draped on the shelves, sparkling in the sunlight. At the center of the library was a large tree, it obviously wasn’t a Christmas tree, but it was trimmed in ornaments and tinsel all the same, presents sitting at the bottom.

“Sorry we couldn’t get an actual Christmas tree, but we did the best we could with such short notice.” Varian said, swinging their hands back and forth.

“It’s perfect.” Hugo responded, cupping Varian’s face fully intending to kiss his boyfriend senseless when Eugene cleared his throat.

“Yeah, hi, still here.” Eugene said with a small wave.

Varian laughed as he settled for a quick peck to Hugo’s lips. “And I should not still be here. I’ve got to finish your present. Speaking of~” Varian moved his hands in a little circle as he pulled out of Hugo’s grip and headed towards the door.

“Right.” Eugene said with a wink, slinging an arm around Hugo’s shoulder and leading him towards the tree. “So, my favorite part of Christmas, the presents!”

“Of course that would be your favorite part about Christmas.” Hugo said with a roll of his eyes, shrugging Eugene’s arm off. They were definitely on more amicable terms now, but he still wouldn’t call them friends.

“Ah, you misunderstand, it’s not about getting a gift it’s all about giving a gift.” Eugene said, sitting them down in front of the tree, pulling a wrapped package out from underneath. “Unfortunately, given the rude awakening at three this morning we weren’t really given time to prepare actual gifts, so this bitch empty.”

Hugo raised an eyebrow as Eugene tossed the box over his shoulder, choosing to ignore the present and focusing on that fact that Varian had apparently been up since three am. “Did he sleep at all?”

“Highly unlikely.” Eugene answered. “Anyways~ since I don’t have a physical gift, you will have to settle for a nugget of good ol Fitzherbert wisdom.”

“Oh, goodie.” Hugo said, sarcasm dripping from his voice, fiddling with a ribbon on a nearby present.

Eugene scooted closer, placing a hand on Hugo’s shoulder, Hugo glancing up at him over the top of his glasses. “Listen, kid, I know you did some shitty stuff, but you need to remember that you are worthy of forgiveness, you are worthy of love. Just because you fucked up doesn’t change that.”

Hugo swallowed thickly, his eyes darting down to the present. “I know, I’m working towards that, to re earn everyone’s trust, to re earn Varian’s.”

“And that’s great, but I’m not talking about everyone else.” Eugene said, giving Hugo’s shoulder a comforting squeeze, Hugo reluctantly meeting Eugene’s eyes. “You need to forgive yourself first, anyone else who’s worth a damn will follow.”

“I’m trying.” Hugo admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. As much as he loved his time with Varian, he couldn’t help the occasional surge of guilt that plagued him more often than he’d like to admit. He was really trying, more so for Varian than himself, but he was trying nonetheless.

“I know. Now come here, let’s hug it out.” Eugene pulled Hugo into a hug, the later stiffening in his grip. Normally he would’ve pushed Eugene away, but what the hell, it was Christmas, so Hugo returned the hug, surprising himself with how easily he relaxed into it.

“Aw, group hug!” A voice boomed across the library, a pair of strong arms lifting the two males off the ground, and there were only two people he knew with that kind of upper body strength, Rapunzel and-

“Lance.” Eugene whined, squirming in Lance’s grip. “Please, set us down.”

“Oops, sorry.” Lance said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Great, now that you’re here I’m going to go find Varian.” Hugo said, smoothing down his now wrinkled clothes.

“Not so fast, little man’s man, it’s my turn to show you how we celebrate Christmas in the Schnitz family.” Lance said, grabbing Hugo’s arm before he could escape. “First activity, caroling~”

“Nope.” Hugo responded, pulling his arm free and heading towards the door. He’d much rather hug Eugene again then go caroling of all things, that’s where he drew the line.

Lance cut him off, his eyes wide and hands clasped together in front of his chest. “Please, I’m begging you. I need a distraction! Kiera’s on a date and Catalina is spying on her for me. I cannot be left alone right now, I cannot.”

“Fine.” Hugo groaned, dragging a hand down his face, already regretting his decision, but if he was honest with himself he couldn’t say no to Lance, not really. Lance was the one out of all of Varian’s friends he got along with right away, he was the one that understood him, the one that never made Hugo feel like he didn’t belong, like he wasn’t good enough. Lance had struggled turning over a new leaf at first and in all honesty so had Hugo. He couldn’t count the number of times he almost left in the dead of night, thinking it was best for Varian, and the one time he actually did, he’d be long gone too if Lance hadn’t caught him and talked him out of it. He owed a lot to Lance, so if caroling made him happy then Hugo could suffer for a bit. Besides, how bad could it be?

**************************

The answer was bad, very bad, apparently. Hugo was sandwiched between the two older males as they belted Christmas carols very loudly and very offkey. His ears would be ringing for the next week and a half. He hadn’t even bothered singing himself, and the two idiots that flanked him were too absorbed in their own renditions to notice.

“And scene!” Lance said with a bow, pulling Hugo and Eugene down with him. The silence that followed soon filled by the sound of clapping.

“That was… lovely.” Arianna said, her voice soft and kind, but her scrunched up nose told a different story than her words.

“Why thank you! We’ve been practicing so we can knock 'em dead at the winter ball this year.” Eugene said, his chest puffed with pride.

“And I’m sure you’ll do just that.” Arianna responded, offering her hand to Hugo as the other two processed her words. “Come, dear, it’s time for your next surprise.”

Hugo gratefully took her hand, snickering as Lance and Eugene tried to make heads or tails of Arianna’s comment.

“Was that a jab?” Eugene asked, his voice carrying through the room as Hugo and the queen scurried towards the door.

“I think it was a jab.” Lance confirmed, sounding just as perplexed as Eugene.

As soon as the door closed, Hugo burst into laughter, linking his arm with the queen’s. “Well played, your majesty.”

Arianna laughed, patting Hugo’s hand. “Thank you, but I do hope the boys aren’t too offended.”

“They’ll live.” Hugo said, letting Arianna lead them through the halls. It had always struck him as strange that he got along so well with the queen given she was royalty, and royalty was the bane of his existence, but for some reason they just clicked.

“Let’s get into something more suitable for the weather.” Arianna said with a wink.

Hugo glanced down at his outfit, just a simple tank top and his pajama bottoms, he hadn’t even bothered to put on shoes. It was so fucking hot outside, how much more suitable could he dress?

“Just trust me on this.” Arianna said before Hugo could even ask, she always had a way of knowing things as simple and obvious as those things were sometimes. Hugo simply nodded, easily following Arianna through the halls.

********************

If anyone else had tried to stuff him into his winter coat and boots in the middle of the summer, he’d have told them they were out of their goddamn mind. But since it was Arianna he decided to have a little more tact. “And why the fuck am I wearing this?”

“Language.” Arianna reprimanded, fixing Hugo with a glare as she adjusted the hat on his head. “You’re going to be thanking me in a few minutes.”

“Am I though?” Hugo teased, pushing the hat back a bit.

“Yes.” Arianna responded, lightly smacking his arm. Hugo threw his head back in a laugh, retaking her arm as she led them to the doors to the garden, not even giving him a chance to question before she swung the doors open.

“Merry Christmas!” Varian shouted, and Hugo’s jaw dropped. The ground was coated in snow, well it was more slush than actual snow, but it white and it was cold. Two large metal machines sat on opposite sides of the garden spouting the white stuff. Ruddiger in his own set of gloves and goggles, occasionally hitting a button that Hugo assumed controlled the machines. Varian’s nose pink from the chill in the air, the pesky grease stains still on his cheeks, his scarf hanging loosely around his neck, his too big coat swallowing him, and his hair pushed back held in place only by his goggles, that adorable lopsided bucktooth smile on his face. By all means he looked like a fucking mess, but to Hugo he looked like a goddamn angel.

Hugo turned to Arianna, placing a kiss to her knuckles. “Thank you.” Arianna smiled in return, closing the doors as Hugo ran, more so stumbled towards Varian. He wrapped his arms around the smaller as soon as he was able, kissing Varian’s pink nose as he laughed. “You did all this?”

“Yeah. I wanted you to have the best Christmas ever, I couldn’t leave out your favorite part.” Varian said, snuggling into Hugo’s chest and wrapping his arms around him as well. It was stupid that snow was his favorite part of Christmas, but it had been the only true way for Hugo to know that it was in fact Christmas time. He’d never gotten the presents, or to sit by the Christmas tree, or to go caroling, or make cookies. But the snow had always been there, and when everyone else had gone to sleep he’d go out into the snow and wish for that ever elusive Christmas miracle. He supposed he finally found it, here in Corona, in Varian’s arms.

“Thank you. I just- thank you.” Hugo said, resting his chin on top of Varian’s head, watching the snow fall around them as he held him tight, for the first time since the summer started relishing in the body heat Varian produced. It was beautiful, but he couldn’t help but wonder about one last thing. “Hey, sweet cheeks?”

Varian hummed in response, lifting his head so his chin now rested on Hugo’s chest, snow already catching in his eyelashes.

“We did everyone else’s favorite things, but what about yours?” Hugo asked, genuinely curious. For all the talk they did about Christmas, Varian had failed to mention his favorite part.

“This.” Varian answered, a softer smile on his face as he let out a small laugh. “Spending time with my friends, and family, and you. That’s my favorite part. None of the other stuff matters as long as I have that.”

“You are so sappy.” Hugo said, smiling down at Varian, cupping his face as he rested his forehead against his. His heart fluttered in his chest, they hadn’t said those words yet, not since the showdown at the library but he knew he felt it. He loved Varian with all that he was, he’d give everything and anything for him. And now that they’d grown, and healed, there wasn’t a better time. “I love you.”

Varian’s face went blank for a second as he blinked up at Hugo, and for a second he thought he wouldn’t return the sentiment. Then he smiled, laughing again as he rubbed their noses together. “I love you too.”

Hugo smiled widely, leaning down further to claim Varian’s lips, but Varian beat him to it, slamming their lips together as he tackled Hugo to the ground. It was rougher than he intended, but Hugo wouldn’t have it any other way. Hugo smiled all the way through the kiss, paying no mind to the artificial snow beneath them. And even though Christmas wasn’t technically for another six months, Hugo was certain that this would be the best Christmas he ever had.

#tangled the series #varian #varigo #varian/hugo #varian and the seven kingdoms #hugo #rapunzel #eugene fitzherbert #lance strongbow #queen arianna

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