#i’ve been meaning to draw this for FOREVER and i finally did it

[cricket-teeeth]

did you know that queer ppl exist?

also here’s a close up and a transparent png

#i’ve been meaning to draw this for FOREVER and i finally did it #this is actually my first proper drawing of hermie cause the love is love meme doesn’t rly count to me #also the pose was based off a poison ivy figure #for authenticity #hermie the unworthy #hermie unworthy #dndads #dndads s2 #dndads 2 #dndads fanart #dungeons and daddies #dungeons and daddies s2 #dungeons and daddies fanart #cricket legs

[yuellii]

flawless night, forevermore

feat. ayato, baizhu, alhaitham, childe, kaveh, raiden ei ( separate )

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 they are so obviously in love with you

( or, in which i tie them to a taylor song i’ve been crazing over, but you don’t have to know the songs to read / understand )

note. reader’s gender unspecified, no other warnings

> part one / part two ( more characters )

KAMISATO AYATO. lover

His lips curled up with a fathomless fondness he did not even notice about himself. His ticklish gaze, his admiring eyes, his comforting silence—such a poor, poor man drowning in his hopelessness, falling love struck into the night.

Even atop the dewy grass that stained his carefully tailored clothes, he paid no mind to the mess as he preferred to hear you talk instead. The intelligence of a Kamisato was long forgone in the melody of your voice, and perhaps you had strum his heartstrings too much to the point he loses his senses. He forgets a lot of things about himself when he’s with you, perhaps at one point, even his own name.

Kamisato, the name that ties him to a lifetime of formality and not a single night of rest. A dreary lifetime that does not allow him to learn the wonders of love. But oh, how he loves you.

“I’ve always wanted one of those cute little tea tables,” you muttered into the cool winds under the glowing moon. Your finger absentmindedly traced an oval into the air, a motion that had his head following your invisible drawing. “We can sit together in the mornings and have tea before work.”

“Then we’ll get one,” Ayato affirmed. He failed to notice how his own grin had widened, simply as an automatic reaction from seeing your pleased smile at his response. “Little cushions for us to sit in, too,” he added on. “You know those round ones? We can have them in our favorite colors.”

Look at him, blushing over silly cushions.

There’s a dazzling haze in his eyes when he’s like this. It’s a spark that never runs out once ignited, for he has a history of rambling when he’s with you. “There is this porcelain tea set we can get, which has a pattern I know you’ll like,” he’ll say, further jumping to “And it comes in a set of four—we can always invite Ayaka and Thoma over to drink with us.” He’ll go on and on like this, fantasizing of a life where you lived together, happily ever after.

He’s imagined this for eons in his head. Such innocent-presenting ideas and remarks, but it’s obvious in the way he talks so fast. It’s ridiculously evident the more excited he gets as the night stretches on, that he’s been daydreaming of the moment you move in with him, so he may love you every day.

All he asks is to be forever yours, for as long as time permits.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

BAIZHU. sparks fly

It almost never rained in Liyue.

But his words were such a booming thunderstorm that no water droplet could ever compare, even amidst this cold, grey afternoon. And only when he finally blew you away like a thin stack of cards, did he feel a sharp sense of emptiness at the sight of you running off into the pouring rain.

Baizhu admitted that you were a burden to him. Boring, unintelligent, annoying—that you were a hindrance to be around. You were only a distraction to Qiqi, and more importantly, a bothersome presence to him.

It took all his willpower just to spit such venom from his tongue straight to your face—all his might just to convince you that seeing him is a bad idea. And yet, you still called him a liar.

“You mean none of those words,” you sharply inhaled via short, speechless breaths. He could tell you were breaking down from his hateful speech, but to his guilt, it was exactly what he wanted to see from you. “You’re just trying to drive me away again,” you spat out. You were trying to convince yourself: that fact alone was clear to him. But the longer he stayed quiet despite biting back the truth—biting back that he has fallen so immensely deep in love with you—you began to doubt yourself.

But the moment he watched your figure break down past this storm, he immediately crumbled with a sense of guilt much stronger than any curse he has ever wished upon himself.

Perhaps he was too harsh on you. Archons, perhaps he was too mean—this was exactly why he didn’t deserve you. You deserved better than such a sick, lowly man who could not even live for himself, instead binding his life to save others instead.

But still, even after all his own revelations and realization of his nonexistent self worth…

He was still a greedy, selfish man.

And that selfishness had him running right out of his door and into the pouring rain, not caring at how the sudden cold nipped and picked at his skin, or how the winds beat at his frail body. Not even the Archons could halt such a starvation for salvation—it was the only spark he had left to chase.

In this cold, dreary life—in this cold, dreary day alone—you still shone like the sun under the dim streetlights of Liyue upon this pale grey sky. His body still eased the moment you caught his eye, almost as if your gaze alone had suddenly removed every drop of sickness he self-injected into his own bloodstream, or as if you were the cure he was looking for all his life.

Such selfishness once again had his body fighting from collapsing when he desperately fell into your arms that held him so dearly. And the greed of mankind only snapped when found his lips settled so hopelessly against yours, clinging onto your kiss as if he would die tonight.

Truly, maybe he would. But for now, in your embrace, he feels the strongest he’s ever been since he sold his soul.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

ALHAITHAM. enchanted

Archons, he hated these events, though he had no choice but to attend. No one could ever allow the Acting Grand Sage, even if he held so much spite, to escape the demeaning eyes of Sumerean publicity.

Alhaitham held himself as an independent soul. But this formalwear, this clanging of champagne glasses, this suffocating air—were definitely not so independent nor free.

This hall of aspiring young scholars and old men, all in one exhibit for the sake of research and networking. Academics is what they acclaim, but the Acting Grand Sage may be too thick of a personality for them (if he had one at all). But the only thing keeping his eyes open from boredom, quite surprisingly a person, was you.

You, who looked young compared to these much older alumni and long-time scholars. And it was truly you, out of the many faces in this room, who he could not name.

Your eyes met from across the room. Such a sliver of a chance—his eyes whispered a curious glance from the opposite wall among this dreary sea of scholars. There was a spark graced by the Electro Archon, perhaps; or maybe even a gush of wind from the God of Anemo. But every sense of composure was lost when his body moved on its own, walking himself closer and closer just to meet you.

It begins with hello; it always does. It continues with quick remarks, with “I’ve never seen you before,” and with “Have we met?” And soon enough, he feels like he’s in school again. He feels a flutter he has not known in years, an urge to talk quicker than he can think. The crinkle at the corner of your eyes has him immersed in amazement. The sole fact that you can crack a smile at him; a smile that wasn’t fake politeness like all these scholars.

For some reason unbeknownst to him, that expression of yours alone had his feet glued to the floor, like you’ve trapped him in such an engaging conversation he desperately could not let go. It was a forcibly dreadful night—you turned it flawlessly enchanting in a way that you read to him like a book, all in which he could not put you down once he begins.

And once the event ends, and he is forced to leave you so soon, he watches you walk away with an expression that he himself could not even read.

Wonderstuck.

He would never notice the light tint on his face, staining his cheeks all the way home.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

CHILDE. cruel summer

Left foot, right foot, tiptoe, right foot—hold the counter, hold the wall, hold the rail all the way up the steps… He’s got this.

One step down the hall, another foot down, a third one until he finds a steady rhythm. The room is hazy, the walls are spinning. His head hurts and he feels like a baby taking his first steps, so helpless and unsteady that he almost wants to cry again from exasperated frustration alone. Why was this so hard? Did he really hate himself so much, that he would stagger his way home from the bar like this?

One hand on the door, turn the knob, and—

Ah. He dropped his keys so loudly on the floor.

You woke up with a start from the bedside, immediately turning to him wide-eyed in both starling surprise from the noise, and more importantly, concern. He didn’t mean to wake you. He hated feeling guilty, but it was the exact feeling that crept up his spine once he saw the devastated look on your face. Frenzied eyes and dark circles—clearly you had stayed up just to wait for him, too.

“Ajax,” you voiced—a tone full of worry and heavy exhaustion, God, he felt so horrible. “Oh, Ajax, come here.”

As much as he didn’t like it when you cared for him like this, he was not immune to the sounds of your calling. His shaky legs carried him immediately, as if the alcohol in his system was pulling him towards you, too. “I’m fine,” he barely stuttered out. It was a claim he had to make immediately, a sign he was desperate to reassure you.

Your eyes grew heavier, though he did not know if they were lidded from concern or from sleepiness. Either way, he practically melted from the touch of your palms resting against his cheeks. So warm, but a much more pleasant warmth than the burning summer air that he just walked in, all the way home with a liquor-dazed mind.

“Have you been crying…?” Ah, and that was why your eyes were narrow—they were squinting at the sorry stains of tears that lined his cheeks. He forgot to wipe them, it seemed. It was almost laughable.

“No, just sweat from the heat.”

Crying over you… He’d never let you know that. To cry, to bleed, to die—you would never be the first person he tells.

“You reek of liquor…” Quite disgustingly so, he thinks. And yet, you still held his face so fondly, moving his head in such a gentle manner as you swiped his tear stains with the pads of your thumbs.

He stayed silent. He had no answer to this one.

“I love you,” he mutters, though it’s a confession nevertheless. And he says it so sadly—so miserably that you couldn’t help but sigh. He hates it, too. He hates it when you sigh. Because when you sigh, it means you’ll just let it go; No matter how many lies he tells, or how many times he cries, or how many secrets he keeps, you’ll still accept him like always.

“I love you, too.” And that was the worst line he’s ever heard.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

KAVEH. foolish ones

“Oh, woe is me…” Loves me, loves me not, loves me… “Did you happen to see anything in the mailbox?”

His roommate stared. “Go check it yourself.”

Kaveh heavily sighed. He couldn’t; He physically could not bear to do it. It’s not that he was lazy to get up, no. The real issue was the genuine grief he would feel when he opened the mailbox, only to see nothing inside. No special gifts, no romantic letters, and absolutely no confessions of love signed with your name.

It was embarrassing, really. To feel this dramatic and obsessed with words of admiration from you—oh, especially when Alhaitham found out about this whole lovesick ordeal. But he could not help his mind from just imagining it: the reflection of himself in your eyes as you finally confess your feelings of passion and love for him (feelings that didn’t exist, feelings he merely imagined you having, all so pathetically).

But he’s so weird, and he’s so terrible. To imagine a fabled life with you when you probably did not think about him this same way. How foolish. Did you daydream about him like he daydreamed about you every night before he slept? Did you think about him like he thought about you every time he sees your favorite color in the passing? Did you wait at your mailbox like he waited for any letters from you? No. No, you didn’t.

And he’s cried, quite humiliatingly. He’s cried that the perfect life he could picture himself having with you at his side would never be a reality. He’s cried a downpour of tears, simply because he allowed himself to be so caught up in a delusion that was so sick of him to conjure up.

“Are you free for dinner tonight?”

“So sorry Kaveh, I already have plans…”

Plans with someone else. No wonder you hadn’t written him any messages, or contacted him in a while. That… was not the scenes he had in his head. His imaginations, his hopes, his dreams—they did not have someone else in them. For someone he was so hopelessly in love with, he felt so much hurt. A foolish lesson to be learned by a foolish romantic.

In the end, he’d just be talking himself to sleep again. He’d just smile at the sight of you flourishing. Without him, your world will go on turning. A world full of reciprocated love and devotion, one that he would never know.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

RAIDEN EI. you belong with me

The Raiden Shogun was self-destructive. No more than a few people knew of such a fact, but she was certainly one of them.

Because if she cared for her own wellbeing, truly, then she would not fall for selfish desires. Nor, would she be here now, sitting next to you outside a sliding screen in her private gardens of Tenshukaku, sipping your favorite tea and hearing your sweet voice ramble about something so unpleasant to her ears. If she prioritized her own emotions, then maybe she’d be living in blissful ignorance right now instead of listening to your woes over a lover… A lover that was not her.

“And then, she teases me,” you complained, though it was clear you hated it. You didn’t like whining about your partner, which was a good thing—but it made Ei feel sick, because it meant you really loved that woman. “I know she does that all the time, and I just need to get used to it,” you continued, “but sometimes, it gets too much, and she still doesn’t stop.”

But I wouldn’t do that to you, the archon thinks to herself. And suddenly, the tea isn’t as appetizing anymore, because her own words felt drilled onto her tongue, forever forbidden to speak aloud.

“Miko… Has always been like that,” Ei quietly admits instead. She doesn’t want to insult your lover, for that same person was also her own friend. She wanted to be supportive, but it was impossible when she was so in love with you, that she spent every second of each passing day just wishing she was in Miko’s place instead.

“Yeah… But—still, I mean…” You sighed, coming to a loss for words to describe the pink haired shrine maiden. “Is it really so hard to ask just for her to understand how I’m feeling…?” you whined in what seemed like genuine distress. Your face sunk into your hands, and it took all of Ei’s willpower just to keep her respective distance from a romantically taken friend.

But I understand how you feel, Ei once again thinks. She feels so dirty of a friend for comparing herself like this. I understand you better than she will ever.

“Ei…” you muttered. She almost chokes from the way you say her name. “What should I do…?”

Be with me, instead. “Don’t cry over something, or someone, you cannot control. It’s possible your personalities are just not fit for each other, you know.”

“But I love her, Ei…”

Ouch.

She clears her throat, recovering from sharp breath of air she just inhaled. A part of her just broke in that moment, and it was so obvious, too—her expression quickly changed, her body became stiff, her balance suddenly shifted, and yet…

You noticed none of it. Your head was too clouded over love for another woman that was not her; So clouded, in fact, you did not notice the way Ei almost began to tremble. The misery you carried only crafted tenfold for the archon, eternally unbeknownst to you.

But you don’t belong to her, anyways. So why was she crying?

#childe x reader #ayato x reader #baizhu x reader #alhaitham x reader #kaveh x reader #raiden ei x reader #al haitham x reader #ei x reader #tartaglia x reader #ayato kamisato imagines #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato kamisato x reader #genshin imagines

[punkshort]

i’m the anon who asked about the request! if you decide to do it, i’d absolutely wait forever😂 it’s very angsty tho, so the idea was for outbreak joel who doesn’t get the happy ending. reader who was head over heels in love coping with his death, maybe flashbacks to show the moments of reader seeing him die? idkidk the idea is very vague, sorry if it’s too sad!! if so maybe reader seeing him die was just a terrible nightmare & he’s there waking them up & helping them through a meltdown?

i’ve been craving for some emotional torture for wtv reason😭😭 thank you for even considering requests!🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Thank you for this request! It's my first one, so I hope you enjoy it. Also, I had to take the out you gave me and make this a nightmare because I am a big ol' softie and I won't apologize for it, but I will apologize for taking so long to write it 😂

I hate when you're right

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: After a heated argument with Joel, you finally convince him into leaving Jackson so you could explore a store for new clothes, and what happens could change your life forever.

Warnings: major character (Joel) death - but it is just a nightmare - don't read if you think that will still upset you, angst, language, violence, descriptions of blood/gore/death scene

WC: 2.5K

dividers by the one and only @saradika-graphics

You knew it was childish. You knew it wasn't essential. But you also desperately wanted to feel more comfortable, and was that really such a crime? To want to feel like yourself again? To want to wear clothes that you liked? That fit you properly? Jackson was well stocked with essentials, clothes included, but the clothes the men picked up on patrol were... utilitarian, to say the least. They grabbed the biggest and the warmest clothes so that it afforded more people the opportunity to use them, but you were beginning to grow tired of tucking men's oversized shirts into your pants, the material bunching up at your waist and twisting around as you walked, constantly trying and failing to feel comfortable in your own skin.

You thought Joel would be more open to the idea of heading outside the walls on your day off. You even teased him with the promise of picking up some new underwear, but he didn't fall for it. He fought you tooth and nail the whole evening, his voice lifting over yours angrily to explain how there's been an influx of raiders the past few weeks, that everyone agreed to lay low until they passed through, not wanting to draw attention or pick any unwanted fights. But you persisted. You always did, and you eventually wore him down when you threatened to leave without him.

Why was it such a crime to want to feel comfortable? It was just two people, you could lay low and go unseen, no problem. You've done it countless times before.

You had hoped he would have gotten over it by morning, but you were wrong. He hardly made eye contact with you during breakfast, skirting expertly around you in your kitchen, mumbling under his breath as he sipped his coffee and only shooting you angry looks when your back was turned.

The air was crisp and the woods were peaceful. You thought that would surely turn his mood around. He always appreciated being out with nature, living off the land. As much as he loved living in Jackson, he couldn't deny that part of himself that felt useful, that felt a sense of accomplishment by surviving out in the wild.

"C'mon, are you really gonna act like this all day?" you teased as you held up another shirt against your body before determining it was the right size and then tossed it in a pile with the others.

He was standing at the storefront window with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched. "Don't know what you mean."

You rolled your eyes and looked around the store, spotting a table of underwear with a grin. You lightly skipped over and tossed to the side the pairs that looked far too dusty so you could look at the ones underneath. Clearing your throat, you held up a pair of bright red stain underwear. He turned around and you saw it: it was fast, he hid it well, but you still saw it. That all too familiar excited look in his eye.

"Don't you like them?" you asked with a playful pout. He furrowed his brow at you like he was annoyed, and maybe he was, but you still saw the heat beginning to crawl up his neck.

"They ain't practical."

You gave him a defeated sigh and strolled over to your pile of clothes, your fingertips daintily holding the undergarment out to him. "No? Then what are they?"

His eyes shifted from yours to the red material in your hand and you saw his throat work as he swallowed.

"Useless," he croaked, and you narrowed your eyes at him. You got a little closer, letting the soft fabric glide against the back of his hand when you dropped your arm to your side.

"Oh, yeah?" you said breathily, and you watched his eyelids flutter at your tone. "Then I guess it wouldn't matter if I brought them home and let you rip them off me."

He stepped forward, a growl emitting from his chest, low and deep, when at the exact same time, you both heard shouting outside the store. Swiveling both your heads towards the glass storefront, your blood ran cold when you saw six heavily armed men advancing towards you.

"Shit," he muttered, his arm pulling your shoulder down just in time to avoid the cascade of bullets that rained down upon you. You laid face down on the rough carpet, covering the back of your head with your eyes squeezed shut, waiting for the shooting to stop. Joel tugged on your arm and you opened your eyes in a panic.

"Follow me!" he shouted, army crawling towards the registers, and you dutifully followed behind, your heart racing wildly in your chest.

Once you made it, the counter offering some, but not much, safety, the both of you pulled out your guns and double checked your ammo.

"Alright, when they stop to reload-"

"I know," you said, cutting him off. You've both been in this situation before. You knew what to do.

Holding your rifle upright and against your chest, you breathed deep, trying to steady your hands until the bullets slowed and you heard more shouting. Joel nodded to you and you both sprung up from the floor, pulling your rifles against your bodies in sync and lining up your targets.

Patience is a virtue. The amount of ammunition they wasted on the two of you was laughable when you each caught one of them between the eyes, leaving four against two.

You thought you would be able to get another shot off but Joel tugged your arm and you slinked back to the floor as a shower of bullets rained over you once again.

"You good?" he asked, and you nodded, gasping for air. Your hands began to stabilize when the shock wore off. You were in the zone.

Pressing both your backs against the small counter, you remained calm and waited out your attackers. Glass shards tinkled and scattered behind you. Bullets pinged against the metal shelving, ricocheting into the drywall.

"Assault rifles for two people? Really?" you muttered, more so to yourself, but Joel heard you.

"Told you this was a bad fuckin' idea," he said angrily.

When there was another brief pause, he looked to you again and nodded. At the same time, you rose up and took aim, firing on your attackers once again. Joel made his shot, you didn't. Three down, three to go.

"Fuck," you grumbled, reloading your rifle even though you still had rounds left.

"Focus," he scolded.

The men sounded like they were getting closer. Their voices were louder. Clearer. The shots were deafening. You prayed they weren't inside the store, because you hadn't planned an exit strategy. Without warning, Joel stood up and fired a shot. You heard a man scream and then a loud thud. It sounded like the man was just on the other side of the counter.

"That's not the plan," you seethed at him when he dropped back down next to you.

"Didn't have a choice, he was 'bout to jump us," he sneered.

Two against two.

When the shots slowed down, you held your breath, looking at Joel from the corner of your eye. He held his palm up to you silently, signaling for you to stay where you were. You heard boots crunching slowly against glass and your heart leapt into your throat. They were in the store.

You shot Joel a panicked look but he just shook his head, focusing on their footsteps, calculating how far away they were.

"Come out now and no one gets hurt," a man's deep voice called out. He was close.

Joel clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils. You knew that look. It was the look of a man who was about to do something stupid. But before you could stop him, before you could reach out to him and hold him back, he stood up and took aim.

One shot. That was all you heard when Joel slumped to the floor next to you, clutching his stomach as dark red blood poured from the wound. Your eyes went wide and you saw red. Without thinking, you stood up and shot, taking one of the two men down with a yelp. The remaining raider ducked behind a display, and you dropped your rifle in favor of your handgun. Crouching low to the ground, you inched forward, careful of any broken glass that would give your position away. When you were on the other side of the display, you heard the man's labored breaths. He was scared. He was out of his element. And you had him right where you wanted him.

Silently tucking the gun in the back of your pants, you slid your hunting knife out from your ankle holster. You took a deep breath and lunged forward, driving the knife deep into the man's chest.

He dropped his gun and clutched weakly at your hands, but it was no use. His blood poured from the wound when you yanked your knife out with a grunt, and you watched as his hands slowly slid back down to his sides, his eyes still wide open and staring up at the ceiling.

You smirked, feeling victorious for only a moment before you remembered Joel. Dropping your knife, you rushed back to his side, only to find his face pale and his hands stained dark red.

"Joel!" you cried out, pressing your palms against the wound, hoping to slow the bleeding. His eyes drifted towards you, softening when he saw you were alive and unharmed. That you were going to make it.

Panic consumed you. Your heart was slamming against your ribs as you fumbled with your backpack, trying to find your first aid kit through the tears.

"I love you," he whispered, and you shook your head.

"Don't start with that, you're gonna be fine."

"Baby," he said weakly, and you choked back a sob.

"Hold on," you told him, still searching in your pack.

"Look at me," he said, and your hands stilled for a moment before you dragged your eyes back to him, your lower lip trembling as you took in his deteriorating state.

"I need to-" you began, but stopped to take in a shaky breath. "I need to patch you up and get you to the horses."

"No, you don't," he said softly, and more tears spilled from your eyes.

"Yes, I do. I gotta-"

"I ain't gonna make it, sweetheart," he slurred, and you could see by the amount of blood he was losing that he was right. But still, you pressed your palms against the gunshot wound, your fingers slipping through his thick and sticky blood.

"Don't say that. I can't do this without you," you whimpered, and closed your eyes for a brief moment. You felt his fingertips weakly grip your chin and you forced your eyes back open.

"Yes, you can," he said as firmly as he could. He was so pale and weak and it was making your stomach turn.

You shook your head, about to argue with him, but he stopped you.

"You keep goin', you hear me?" he said, and still, you shook your head from side to side, small sobs slipping past your lips. "Don't let this world win. You... go on and keep fightin'. Please. Be happy, baby. For me."

"No!" you cried out, spittle dripping from your lips now, mixing with your tears. "I won't! I-I can't!"

"You can," he repeated, and gave you a weak smile. "I'm ready, baby. It'll be okay."

You squeezed your eyes shut tight, the tears leaking out, hot and angry on your cheeks as you sobbed over him, clutching his hand in yours so tightly, like if you squeezed hard enough, you could give him your lifeforce. Give him your breath. But moments later, his grip weakened and when you opened your eyes, his head slumped to the side and his lifeless eyes stared off into the distance.

"Joel!" you screamed, sitting up in bed, drenched in sweat with tears still streaming down your face. You looked to your side, where he normally slept, but he wasn't there. Panic squeezed your throat, your chest fucking hurt, but you flung the blankets off you and ran towards the door. Still not hearing any sounds, you raced down the stairs, almost tripping in the process but you had a grip on the railing to keep you steady.

When your eyes finally landed on his familiar form stretched out on the couch, his back to you, you allowed yourself to breathe a sigh of relief.

Reality came back to you now. You had your fight about leaving Jackson, but he won and you slept apart. You never left. He never got shot. It was all just a horrible dream.

You stumbled over to the couch, your tears unstoppable, the nightmare too vivid, too real. Your trembling hands clutched his shoulder as you fell to your knees on the floor, shaking him awake.

"What?" he grumbled, clearly still pissed off about your fight.

"I'm sorry!" you sobbed loudly, and when he realized something was wrong, he whipped around to face you.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice still thick with sleep.

"I-I had-" you began, then you hiccupped, cutting yourself off. His face was etched with concern as he forced himself up and cupped your face.

"C'mon, talk to me," he urged, the fear in his eyes reflecting back to you as you looked at him, still not sure what was real and what wasn't.

"I had a nightmare," you finally managed to get out. "About our fight. That we... we went out like I wanted and-and-" you collapsed into another fit of sobs, your shoulders shaking violently.

"Hey, it's alright," he soothed, pulling you up and into his lap and rubbing your back. You pressed your tear stained face into his neck, inhaling deeply, grounding yourself. He was alive. He was here. Everything was fine.

"I'm sorry," you whimpered, your throat still tight but your tears were slowing down. "I'm sorry we fought. I don't wanna go out anymore. I don't need new clothes, it was stupid, I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," he said, pulling you tightly against his chest, "I'm sorry we fought, too. I just wanna keep us safe."

"I know, you're right," you said, pulling back a bit and wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "Will you come back to bed?"

"Yeah," he replied with half a smirk. "'Course I'll come back to bed, baby. Don't cry, it's alright."

You let him lead you up the stairs and to your bedroom, your side of the bed still damp with sweat but it didn't bother you. Joel was safe and sound and in your arms and you didn't care if you had to wear a potato sack for the rest of your life, as long as you had Joel, nothing else mattered.

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#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel the last of us #pedro pascal #the last of us #the last of us game #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller angst #requests

[lainiespicewrites]

Coach Sy Part 5

I'm so sorry this took so long!!! Here it is! I feel like this is all over the place but I kind of just wanted to get a feel of them spending a day together. I love it. And I just wanted to give you guys something while I plan more of this out!! Enjoy.

Warnings: Cursing, Smut!! Oral,(f and M receiving), Mentions of sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So are we gonna talk about that?” I asked, shyly. I was lying with my head on Sy’s shoulder absentmindedly drawing shapes on his chest with my fingertips. 

“Talk about what baby?” He met my gaze, raising an eyebrow. My throat went dry and I flushed trying to find the words to describe what just happened. 

“The way we… you were so…I liked it, a lot! But I’ve only ever read about it being like that, and It's so hot but I didn’t think that it was a natural thing and…No one’s ever been like that with me… God, I sound so stupid.” I groaned, pressing my body closer to his and hiding my face against his chest. Logan chuckled. He ran his fingers through my hair, tightening his grip at the back of my head and tugging softly, letting me know to look up at him. I bit my lip and sat up a little, lifting my eyes to meet his. 

“You’re so fuckin cute,” He leaned down and captured my lips in a gentle kiss. “I’m gonna need you to be a little more specific, baby girl,” He smirked. He knew I was embarrassed about saying it. 

“You’re so…in charge and dominant. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not much different than when you’re coaching.  I just didn’t expect all of that. The spanking and dirty talk, the manhandling,” I blushed. 

“You like me throwing you around like that?” He went back to slowly dragging his fingertips up and down my spine.  I loved this feeling. He was so warm. And he felt safe. Even after how rough and aggressive he was, He was still loving and gentle and kind and caring. I’d never experienced that with anyone else. Like I knew he was going to take care of me. No matter what it takes. And I didn’t feel so shy anymore. 

“Yeah” I spoke finally, and  pressed my lips to his chest and left a trail of kisses up his neck. He groaned softly. “I liked it a lot.” I smirked when I met his eyes again. 

“What’s gotten into you little girl?” He purred, rolling me onto my back and pinning me to the bed. 

“You, Sy. I’m so stuck on you, I can’t figure out what we’re doing but I don’t want this to end.” He was straddling me now. He sat back on his knees and brushed my hair out of my face, giving me a big smile. 

“This is just the beginning baby, and if I’m being honest,” He paused, looking me over and letting his hand trail down my chest resting it on my hip. “I’m planning on forever baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He bit his lip meeting my eyes again. 

“How can you be so sure?” I asked, feeling my insecurities bubble up again. Logan sat for a second, still straddling me, trying to think. God he was trying to find a way to break it to me gently. Of course it was just pillow talk. Just something you say… He probably didn’t mean it and I was being so ridiculous. 

“Some people say when you know you know.” He explained simply. 

“We’ve only been on one date, Logan,” I chuckled. 

“You wanna know when I knew?” He asked, ignoring my last statement. I smiled softly and nodded. “My second  month teaching. I sent you an email, about a girl in my class I was concerned about. I had to be honest with you. I just wasn’t sure how to pick up on signs of mental health and eating disorders and all that. But I knew something wasn’t right. You remember that?” I nodded. I did. It was an everyday thing answering emails about students that teachers wanted to recommend I speak to or may need further help. So I didn’t think much of it. But he asked if he could come down and talk with me about what to look for as far as when they are troubled. Which was so unexpected. I’ve never forgotten it. 

“I knew that day. You cared so much. You were so detailed. But I really knew when we talked about your friends and people you knew. How personal it was to you. We talked so long I was late to practice.  I understood why you were doing your job. I admired you. But from that day on I wanted to know everything about you. I started finding excuses to drop in. Find reasons to see you. Have lunch with you. It took me over a year to get you where I wanted you baby. This isn’t gonna be some temporary thing.” I sniffled softly. I hadn’t realized I was tearing up. Sy leaned down to kiss me softly. 

“You’re not gonna get bored of me?” I asked. He laughed. Literally belly laughed. 

“What’s there to get bored of baby? I love learning about you, and doing things with you and just being with you. Hell no, I’m not gonna get bored of you, Darlin,” He smiled softly and shifted, holding himself up on his arms and kissing my jaw and down my neck.

“Promise?” I bit my lip softly. He looked up and met my gaze and captured my lips again. 

“I promise sugar. You’re the only woman I want, I know I’ve been laying it on kind of heavy but I just think it’s kinda silly to deny ourselves of something, we’re grown, I know how I feel about ya. I don’t need to waste any more time, sugar.” I kissed him again, holding his face as if in my hands. Smiling softly as I pulled away. 

“Sy, I..” I stared up at him but the words got caught in my throat. I felt it, at least I think I did. I just couldn't say it yet. He pressed his lips to my forehead. 

“I know, baby.” He said, then continued to kiss his way down my body. I felt his hands on my thighs as he pushed them apart. 

“Mm, sy, what are you doing?” I asked keeping my eyes on him. He started to kiss my thighs and the bruises he’d left on my hips. 

“You know what I’m doing baby,” He smirked, biting at the inside of my thigh. I arched my back, moaning softly. “Nope, never gonna get bored of that.” He pressed another kiss to my thigh before he pinned my hips down and attacked his lips to my clit licking and sucking relentlessly. 

“My God Sy!” I moaned pulling at the sheets beneath me as he continued his assault on my clit. He shifted lower licking past my folds pushing his tongue inside me lapping at my juices. “Fuck don’t stop!” I felt him grow against me sending vibrations through me bring me closer to the edge. He hooked his arms under my thighs dragging me closer, holding me against his mouth. I was completely at his mercy. I was shaking, and a complete mess as he fucked me with his tongue. I whimpered letting my head hit the pillow when I finally fell apart against his mouth. He drank in all my juices before pulling away with a smirk. He kisses back up my thighs and stomach and kissed my neck before he laid next to me again. 

“How the hell could I ever get bored of that?” He teased. I bit my lips softly trailing my hand down his chest. 

“Okay you’ve proved your point cowboy,” I pressed my palm flat against his stomach feeling  his muscles tense beneath my finger tips as I slowly dragged my hand further down. Logan grabbed my wrist and stopped me. I whined softly and lifted my eyes to meet his. He chuckled. 

“Easy sugar, I’ll gladly let you return the favor another time. But this was about you baby. It ain’t always gotta be 50/50 sometimes I just wanna please my girl.” He pulled me closer, sliding his hand over my hip to squeeze my ass. 

“But,” I started to protest. 

“Shhh  go to sleep, it’s 2 am baby, you need rest,” He smiled and kissed my head softly pulling my thigh over his waist as I laid my head on his chest. “Good girl,” He mumbled. As he rubbed my back softly. God this man was something else. I couldn’t wait to learn everything about him. 

I woke up to the feeling of a cold wet nose against my hand. And… was that a tongue? 

“Aika” I heard Sy call and then whistle, “Come here, leave her be.” The bed shifted as the dog jumped up laying at the end of the bed as Sy walked in the room. “Don’t be difficult.” He said to her, I tried to hide my giggle as he argued with the dog. Who sneezed at him and laid her head down  resting on the bed. “I heard that,” he smirked. I smiled and sat up stretching a bit. 

“Good morning handsome,” He watched me for a moment. Eyes scanning my body as I let the blanket fall to my waist. 

“Morning trouble,” He smiled leaning in the doorway. Standing there in a pair of black sweats, still shirtless, a cup of coffee in hand. He looked so good. I looked down at the beautiful German shepard laying at the end of the bed. 

“So this is the famous Aika,” I smiled and reached out my hand for her to sniff before scratching her ears. He nodded and walked over holding out the coffee for me to take. I accepted the mug and he smiled sitting beside me on the bed. 

“Yeah, looks like she likes you too. She ran right in here after I fed her, jumped right up next to ya on the bed. Where she knows she’s not supposed to be.” He looked at her sternly. She just stared at him and laid her head on his leg. He chuckled. 

“She’s a sweet girl,” I smiled. I took a sip of coffee and sighed content. I scooted closer, cuddling into his side. He grinned and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked. I nodded resting my head on his shoulder. 

“Mhmm, did you?” I asked. 

“Like a baby,” He smirked. We sat like that for a minute. While I drank my coffee and woke up. Finally after a few minutes we got out of bed and he handed me one of his T-shirts to put on. 

“I have clothes Sy,” I giggled softly. 

“I know, I like it when you wear mine.” He pulled me in by my hips and kissed my forehead. I blushed softly. I slipped on his shirt that just barely fell to the top of my thighs. Logan smirked. “Yep, I like this better.” He said as he followed me out of his bedroom.

“You’re staring at my ass aren’t you?” I laughed. 

“Hell yeah!” He chuckled. We walked out to his kitchen. Sy poured me another cup of coffee and offered to make breakfast. I offered to help but he wouldn’t let me. The second I turned to grab something out of the fridge for him he grabbed me by the waist, lifted me up, and sat me on the counter. 

“Sy!” I pouted trying to hide my giggle. 

“Sit still and let me cook for you,” He scolded before he playfully smacked my thigh. 

“Yes, sir,” I mocked, rolling my eyes. He paused letting his eyes roam again, growling low in his chest. My thighs involuntarily clenched and he smirked. Finally he turned to get the eggs out of the fridge. I don’t know what it was about him. Why do we naturally fit so well? Or Why I trust him so much. Everything about him in moments like this feels so …primal. But At the same time he’s so gentle and intelligent and ..strong. So damn strong. Whatever was starting between us. It was like. Electricity. Or Magnetic. There was some kind of pull. I could sense whenever he was close to me. And it set my senses into overdrive. 

We ate breakfast, just some simple eggs, bacon and toast. Sy let Aika back out to run around the land. She has a doggy door and just comes and goes as she pleases. That makes perfect sense for them. Very low maintenance. Both of them come around to check on each other every now and then. It’s cute honestly. 

“I think I’m gonna shower,” I said when we’d finished breakfast and finished cleaning up the kitchen. I rested my hand on his chest and looked up at him, I could see the mischief in his eyes. 

“You want company?” he smiled softly. I chuckled. 

“Are you gonna behave yourself?” I raised an eyebrow. He just laughed and shook his head. 

“You know I’m not, Sugar.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Come on cowboy,”

As desperately as I wanted him I couldn’t handle anymore after last night. He made sure of it. I turned back just in time to catch his smirk when he saw the slight limp I was walking with. Sly bastard. But, him, I would gladly take care of.

I sank to my knees in front of him in the shower. He smiled down at me brushing my hair back. “You sure about this darlin?” He lifted my chin to look him in the eyes “I don’t wanna hurt ya.”  He said brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. 

“Mmhmm, you promised I could return the favor, and you had no problem being rough with me last night,” I smirked. He growled softly and grabbed my jaw 

“I can’t promise I can control myself baby, can you handle me fucking your little throat sugar?” He had no shame. He stared right and my eyes with that cocky smirk on his face. This man drips confidence. The things I’ve done with him in the last 2 weeks I never knew I would do. But I loved it.  I reached up wrapping my hand around him pumping slowly. He groaned resting his head against the tile. I licked up his length slowly before I took him completely in my mouth I held eye contact and answered him. 

“Don’t hold back, Daddy,” Before finally wrapping my lips around him and taking him all the way to the back of my throat. I started to bob my head slowly. I watched his face and saw something hungry flash in his eyes at my words. He tangled his fingers in my hair pulling it back away from my face and holding it in a ponytail. He started to guide me on his cock moving me faster and pushing himself further down the back of my throat. He moaned cursing, feeling me gag around his head. 

“That’s a good girl. Fuck you take it so well.” He moaned. I pulled back gasping for air. And smiled. 

“That all you got? “ The shower was hitting his chest and flowing down down his abs. He looked like a God from this angle. 

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” His eyes were soft as they held my gaze I gripped his and bit my lip. 

“I trust you Logan, “ That was all it took. He was guiding me back on to his cock and holding my head still. I twirled my tongue around the head and moaned around him and he pulled my hair softy. 

“Fuckin tease. Hold still darlin, Gonna fuck that pretty face.” I hummed sending vibrations around him and tugged at my hair harder. I met his eyes again and he smiled. “That’s my good girl, you like when you I take charge don’t ya?” He moaned and started thrusting into my mouth. His cock hitting the back of my throat everytime. I knew he was enjoying this. I slid my hands up to his stomach and felt his muscles tense under my fingers. He had his eyes closed his head tilted back agaisnt the shower wall and his jaw was slack. I loved making him feel good like this. He didn’t let me take care of him often. I moaned around him he pushed me down further holding me down taking him down my throat. I tried as hard as I could to swallow around him as he held me down. I felt tears stinging around my eyes as he let up and and I pulled back to take a breath coughing hard. “Fuck are you..?”

 I didn’t let him finish his sentence before I had him back in my mouth bobbing my head teasing him with my tongue. He groaned loudly tightening his grip in my hair. “That’s it baby don’t stop.”  He was close. He held me still again thrusting into my mouth erratically. He growled gritting his teeth. “Fuck yes,” he moaned as he released in my mouth. I swallowed it all licking him clean. He shuttered and shook his head with a chuckle before extending his hand to help me back to my feet. He held me close to his while he caught his breath. 

“Was that good?” I bit my looking down at the shower floor. He lifted my chin kissing me passionately. 

“Jesus, baby you are, full of surprises,” He smiled. “Fuckin Incredible.” 

We finished our shower and got dressed for the day. But we’ren’t in a hurry to go anywhere in particular. We stayed cuddled up on his couch all afternoon. Watching some old movies. We talked a bit about nothing in particular. Getting to know each other some more. Although it felt like we already did. This felt really normal. 

“Do you wanna take Aika for a walk with me?” He asked. I think it was almost 5 or 6 o’clock now. I nodded. 

“I’d love that,” I said. He called her in and got her on a leash and we set out down the road. 

“Can I be honest with ya?” He said as we started to walk. 

“Of course you can,” I smiled. 

“This has been one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.” He said. I stopped walking for a moment. 

“But we haven’t really, done anything.” I said. He smiled and took my hand in his and lead me to keep walking with him. 

“I know, but I got to spend good quality time with the woman I care about. That’s all I need.” He squeezed my hand softly. I met his eyes again. 

“I really enjoyed this too. I’m kind of sad that you’ll have to take me home sometime soon.” I admitted. 

“No I don’t,” He stated. “I don’t have anything going on this weekend. I ain’t in no hurry to get you out of here.” 

“No?” I asked “What are you trying to say Sy?” 

“Stay the rest of the weekend with me.” He smiled pulling me closer. I squeezed his hand blushing slightly. 

“Answer something for me first,” I said. 

“Anything,” He said. 

“Are we together now? Am I your girlfriend, I know it’s kind of fast we’ve only been on one date, but the way we’ve been talking. It just seemed like that’s what you’ve been trying to say and..” 

He kissed me softly on the lips. 

“Sugar, I thought I ….Maybe I wasn’t completely clear.” He chuckled. “I want you as long as you’ll have me baby. You’re mine. I wanna take you everywhere with me. Stay with me this weekend?” I smiled and nodded. 

“Yeah, I will” I smiled. He kissed me again and we continued our walk. Back at the house we settled in on the couch again. Cuddled up for another movie. “How are we gonna do this at work, Keep our hands to ourselves, behave?” I chuckled. 

“It’s not like people aren’t expecting it.” He laughed.  I raised an eyebrow. 

“Am I really the only one that didn’t know how you felt all this time?” I asked. 

“I mean… The boys know baby…” He chuckled. I groaned. 

“I’m sorry baby.” I blushed realizing what I said. 

“I’m not, I got you now. I’m not complaining.” We finished our movie and I stretched yawning.  “Tired?”  I nodded. “Come on sweet pea. Lets go to bed.”

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@summersong69 @carrie80reads @identity2212 @caramariehurst @redheadrouge @warriormirkwood @kingliam @gummydummy19 @deandoesthingstome @starfirewildheart @foxyjwls007

#captain syverson #henry cavill #henry cavill smut #fanfic writing #captain syverson smut #captain syverson x ofc #fanfiction #henry cavil x reader #august walker #august walker fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #mike hellraiser #enola holmes #sherlock holmes #clark kent smut #clark kent #coach sy #Coach syverson #football coach fanfic

[pendragonsclotpole]

I need to preface this post with the fact that I’ve been aware of Supernatural for as long as I’ve known what the terms fanfiction and fandom mean. It’s one of those pop culture moments that’s existed on the periphery of my mind as something really beloved and bemoaned about by people on the internet, but it’s never been something I really cared about outside of some iconic memes.

For the past four days, I’ve been watching Supernatural non-stop in my free time. I think I sat through eight episodes straight on one of those days, and I just have to say, the show is phenomenal.

I don’t know where to start, I could make a dozen of these posts about various points throughout the first two seasons and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’ve now taken a break at episode one of season three, because now that it’s a weekday I have work and can’t dedicate the time I could on the weekend.

First, Jared Padalecki’s acting is so beautiful and poignant and emotional. He really makes Sam Winchester into the bleeding heart of the whole show, and the entire time he’s on screen I worry about Sam. His portrayal of Sam’s heartbreak and desperation at Dean’s impending death after the car crash, as well as Sam’s horror at the reveal of what John told Dean before dying held a tragic desperation and denial that really embodied what the character represented in the first two seasons. Even as a hunter and with his special abilities, Sam felt like a quasi self-insert for the audience. I don’t mean that in a bad or overly tropey way, but in the way that he felt robbed of a proper childhood in favor of his father’s crusade. Sam is the angry, indignant younger sibling who never bore the brunt of responsibility like the older sibling did and it shows. In some ways, it makes him more entitled—I don’t mean that Sam does not have the right to be angry with John Winchester. He does. Fuck John Winchester. I mean entitled in the unintentional, coincidental way that your little brother or sister always demands the things you never had or rebels against the authority of the parent without ever dealing with the consequences you did as the older sibling. It reveals the veneer of freedom he had and the protection he received by virtue of his place in the Winchester Family. For me, it made him unbearably real, and this feeling of realness was made worse by the genuine naivety and innocence he keeps even as he continually gets screwed over by the demons. There’s a steadfast belief in the goodness of others within Sam that often conflicts with the sense of goodness he believes he lacks.

Sam trusts so easily, but he understands people in ways that should be antithetical to his upbringing. It took me forever to reconcile why he seemed so familiar, until I realized that Sam Winchester, for all that he was one of John Winchester’s son, had received the unconditional love of an older sibling for his entire childhood.

I don’t mean the perfect, kind, healthy love that often exists between fictional siblings. Too often I’ve watched media that makes me wonder how siblings like that even exist, or conversely, made me glad my siblings weren’t so fucked up.

I mean the kind of platonic love that exists between siblings living in the liminal space of love and hate thanks to the single fucked up connection that draws them back together continuously out of some sense of duty or commiseration or the need to be understood.

I mean the kind of love between siblings that would wither away when in a perfect world that does not stake their survival on their codependence of each other, but that in an imperfect and real world is equated to familiarity. Sam and Dean against the world—against John Winchester.

Out of all of the episodes I’ve watched in the last day and a half, perhaps the one that struck me most was episode 20, Season 2. What is and What Should Never Be. Not only was the title a bit of emotional whiplash—the juxtaposition of Should and Never lending a finality or a sense of wrongness that can’t be replicated by the words “Could Never—but we see Dean and Sam in a world where their one connection, hunting, has completely vanished and at a high cost to all the people they’ve saved, but mostly to Sam and Dean themselves. They’re connection as ride or die brothers is gone, replaced by an ostensibly better, healthier, more normal future liberated from the expectations of the rest of the world.

Without the death of Mary Winchester, Dean and Sam are no longer Dean and Sam. They’re just two people, connected by the two people that raised them, and likely to drift apart after that connection dies—frayed ends of a tapestry pulling apart and unraveling. Dean gains a mom and a normal life, but metaphorically loses a brother and a sense of purpose. Who is Dean Winchester if he’s not a hunter and Sam’s brother? And the sad thing is, neither of these are traits Dean ever chose. They are conditions foisted upon him, perhaps not intentionally, such as in the case of Sam, but ultimately placed on his soul until they tethered themselves to the very core of what being Dean Winchester is supposed to mean. The end of the episode, and Dean’s choice to return to the real world, regardless of Sam waking him up, is Dean fully giving up his dream in order to save Sam and be a hunter. The fallacy of the episode is in the choice Dean makes, which the more I think about it, feels less like a choice and more of an inevitability but one compounded by Dean’s readiness and willingness to go with it.

This is where I get to the crux of my surprise with these first early seasons of Supernatural: Dean Motherfucking Winchester.

I don’t know what I was expecting from early seasons of Supernatural, especially with the context of the later seasons. Maybe an overly cheesy, early 2000s ode to roadtrip Americana with a self-reverential take on the classic gun slinging frontiersman of the Wild West and bad supernatural CGI. Not to say it isn’t that (shout out to Sam’s comment on Dean’s particular brand of butch), but what surprised me was how real the connection between the characters was manifested on screen and how much good will the show built up in the audience. There came a point where I sided with Dean so much in the events of the show that I felt like I was riding shotgun in the impala. I saw it with every compliant “yes, sir” he gave to John, with every teasing comment he threw at Sam, and with every act of selflessness he exhibited by protecting other people. This isn’t to say that Dean is perfect. Sometimes he doesn’t take things seriously enough, or he’s willing to sacrifice people for some misguided greater good, or he’s obsessed with saving Sam even when he wouldn’t be if it were anyone else, but Dean has a conviction so many people lack. He has the capacity to love at a great cost to himself, either because he believes himself unworthy of being loved or because he’s not used to anything else.

Jensen Ackles does such a good job at this portrayal and with such a different technique than Jared Padalecki. Ackles embodies the desperate need for self-assuredness that Dean breathes, as well as the genuine fear he has of being seen. I love laughing with Dean as much as I love screaming at him for how stupid he’s being. If Sam is the self-insert, then Dean is the tragic hero, although that comparison feels like a poor facsimile for what Dean Winchester truly is because I don’t particularly feel an overwhelming sense of pity at his state or at his hinted downfall with that demon deal. If anything, I feel a sense of indignation mixed with understanding and frustration that Dean can’t catch a break but at the end of it all, is just how he prefers it.

It shouldn’t be a shock to admit that even without knowing what happens from seasons 3 to 15, I know how Supernatural ends. Just thinking about the ending makes me wonder if I should even continue it past season 5, but that’s a decision for another time.

For now, there’s something unbearably tragic in seeing Dean Winchester so close to a chance of a normal life and apple pie happiness (something he really seems to desire no matter how much he denies it) and then having to give it up, not just because it’s not real, but because he believes it should never be real.

Dean Winchester deserves better.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 1 #supernatural season 2 #supernatural season 3 #dean winchester deserved better #dean winchester deserves better #sam and dean #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #character study

[won4ver]

Tulips bloom in our tears

🌷 a series where you and riki love each other in every life. [inspired by nessa barrett songs]

in your first life you promised riki that you would love him the same in every life, and he promised he’d love you forever. what you didn’t know was that the gods heard your promises, and they cried for you. your fate in that life was already decided, you were born to die early, and he was born to live forever. the gods tears fell from the clouded abyss, disguised as rain. they cried for the wandering boy, the boy who couldn’t get in. they wished for a miracle, oh and what a miracle it was. the couples fate was changed, they would meet and fall in love all the same in every life. who knew all it took was a wish on the tears, the everlasting tulips bloomed in the holes of their melancholic love and created their own heaven.

but why does it seem like most of them end in tragedy

their first life

now playing : i can’t get in

↳ “what if i can’t get in? how will i see you again?”

everyone told him that he will get over it; that he will get over you. but they don’t understand, no one ever does. they say he’s wasting his life mourning over someone who won’t come back, that he needs to move on. they don’t understand that you were his life, and when you died everything he loved about himself died along with you. you were the thing he loved the most about himself, and without you everything is black and white. no matter how many times he tried to get to you, he never could.

🤍🩵

their second life

now playing : i’ve never loved you more

↳ “we can pretend that this didn’t happen”

he tried his best, he always did. but sometimes his best just wasn’t good enough for you. you knew he was busy with his career, but you didn’t sign up to have a part time boyfriend. he wanted to be there for you, it was just hard. you knew he didn’t understand, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. he never knew about the obvious hourglass, and he especially didn’t know about how it was almost completely out. he was too late, he’s always been bad at time. even the sand didn’t wait for him, how could he expect love to? all you wanted was to be loved by him, i guess we can’t hold other people to our own expectations.

🤍🩵

their third life

now playing : you’re more than beautiful, you’re mine

↳ you’re lucky that you’re pretty”

after hearing his label mates new song riki decided to show her that there’s more to her than her body. he’s heard of her, everyone has. she’s untouchable, with visuals that rival the beauty of the night sky. she’s everywhere, her face plastered on every billboard and bus alike. her voice sounds from every platform, her velvety voice attracts the ears of everyone, hypnotizing them and drawing them into the ad. and finally she’s there, crying in her practice room with her arms wrapped around her body with her new solo blasting in the room. riki’s admired her from afar, and now it’s time to show her why he loves her. and why she should love herself.

🤍🩵

their forth life

now playing : even blindfolded i’d still find you

↳ “so it’s you and me against the world”

two dancers, two blindfolds, one song. regionals were coming up and deceils academy was scrambling for something different, for something no one was expecting. nishimura riki, leader of the male dance team. and arguably the best dancer in the entire academy. well thats what everyone assumed until the dance team stumbled upon her. Ln yn, the star figure skater. and arguably the schools biggest loner. what better way to not only win regionals but to hopefully soften the cold leader then to submit them as a duo. seems pretty easy right? well not only do they have to dance as a duo, but blindfolded. two souls who’ve always had trouble trusting others now had to put complete trust in each other.

🤍🩵

their fifth life

now playing : a stars reunion

↳ “hell is right around the corner, but it’s heaven next to you”

the end of the world was approaching and like an avalanche they all fell down. it was just them left, their stairs creaked with the weight of their burdens. in the late nights of the apocalypse they only have each other and the stars, until they only have the stars. the monsters sounded from outside their hut, but when they’re together everything will be alright. even the end of the world couldn’t stop their love, until it did.

🤍🩵

their sixth life

now playing : true loves kiss is a fraud, isn’t it?

↳ “praying on a lucky star”

even though they’ve attended the same school since elementary they’ve never interacted with each other. they always got placesin different classes, and their friend groups couldn’t be anymore different. their timelines never entwined. but they doesn’t mean that it will always stay that way. sometimes the things you could grow to love the most could be right in front of you, or on the kiss cam above you.

🤍🩵

their seventh life

now playing : 4 5683 968, 4'6 76779

↳ “you think you can keep me?”

he shouldn’t be in love with his best friends brother, god it makes him sick. it makes him sick how obsessed he is, how he would do anything for the boy who makes him feel alive. he loves him so much, that’s why he has to do this. he tells himself that every morning while looking into the mirror, he tells himself that after avoiding him all day at school. he tells himself that after constantly breaking his heart. he loved him, but not enough to keep him. riki was selfish, and his reputation meant everything to him. but was his reputation worth losing the love of his life? he was too dumb, and too late. he already lost him, he was gone. riki never got to say goodbye, all that was left to prove their existence was the photos in riki’s private photo album and the voice memo left in his messages. “i love you, i’m sorry”. but riki didn’t know that love had different plans for him, he had a chance at love again.

🤍🩵

their eighth life

now playing : they couldn’t save you, but i will

↳ “i don’t want to live without you”

nishimura riki’s parents hated everyone, so why were they now sitting in a crowded venue with a video camera sat on his mother’s shoulder, and a huge bouquet of flowers clutched in his fathers arms? most importantly, why are they cheering and screaming this random girl’s name with huge, blinding, smiles on their usual stoic faces? riki grew up hearing his parents tell him to stay away from everyone who wasn’t like him, who wasn’t like them. riki kept a close friend group his whole life, only befriending the other kids in their mafia. it came to a shock to everyone when riki’s parents suddenly became extremely protective over a mysterious girl, a girl who they refuse to introduce to anyone for her safety. riki was curious about this person who his parents started talking up, about this girl who apparently was perfect for him. he was appalled, his stone cold parents trying to set him up with a girl? impossible. it was only a matter of time until their paths cross, and he too falls for her innocence.

🤍🩵

their ninth life

now playing : you’re prettiest with me

↳ “bang bang”

at first this hit was just like every other one, just another notch to add on your belt. everything was going smoothly, all you had to do was pull the trigger. as your finger tensed to prepare to pull the trigger your eyes suddenly connected, he was looking towards you. no, he was looking directly at you. and if life couldn’t get worse your soulmate mark suddenly started tingling, your vision gaining gold hues around the edges. his thoughts echoed across your head in the most pleasurable way, “what’s in your hands?”. and without a second to think you idiotically blurted out the first thing you could think of, “a gummy gun”. who would’ve though that his laughter would now be your favourite audio in the universe.

🤍🩵

their tenth life

now playing : when the world is silent you shine brighter

↳ “i’ve never felt so alive”

nishimura riki was obsessed. the way your smile gleamed brighter than the solar eclipse, your eyes pulling up in a beautiful array of stars pulled from the galaxy. everyone knew who you were, your title following you all throughout your highschool life. your title never bothered him, something he made very obvious since the beginning. he accidentally caught your eye one morning after bumping into you, and his actions that followed after. rather than spitting our a rushed feigned apology before rushing away, he confidently stood there with his hand in a fist against his chest. he watched as your eyes followed his wrist as it made a full circle, then watched as your mouth pulled up into the very smile that’s been running through his mind since he first saw you. however what you didn’t know was that everyday for the last year he’s been taking lessons to learn sign language for you, to finally talk with you.

🤍🩵 🤍🩵 🤍🩵 🤍🩵 🤍🩵 🤍🩵 🤍🩵

started : ??

ended : ??

wc ~10-15k each

warnings will be listed with the fic. some will be fem reader pov and others m reader pov.

#lvlyhanni #enhypen ff #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #enhypen series #enhypen angst #enhypen crack #nishimura riki #nishimura riki x reader #enhypen niki series #enhypen niki #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jungwon #enhypen x reader #enhypen smau #niki series #niki fluff #niki angst #kpop #kpop series #kpop angst #kpop fluff #enhypen oneshots #kpop oneshots #enhypen niki oneshot

[nebulablakemurphy]

Hi! I absolutely love the Haymitch series with my whole heart it’s my fav Hunger Games fox i’ve ever read.

I was just wondering if there was a deeper meaning behind why snow decided to play with their birth control when he did.

Like was it just to show the power he had over them, or was it to render her useless in the rebellion?

Just curious about your motive tbh. Can’t wait for the next update, keep up your incredible writing! <333

Hi! Thank you so much.

It’s discussed in part 5 of moves & countermoves that the people of the Capitol are getting a little bored with Y/N and Haymitch. They want more. More kids, more excitement, etc.

Cashmere and Finnick are more directly connected to the higher ups in the Capitol, due to the nature of their “work.” So they relay the information to Y/N and she’s already starting to get a little paranoid. This is passage where it’s discussed:

“She tells him of her conversation with Cashmere and the sponsor. How afraid she is that pay per views aren’t going to keep these people entertained forever. Eventually they will get tired of watching them, they’ll want to be with them; and neither she nor Haymitch will be able to say no.”

So we can assume there’s been some discussion around potentially selling Y/N and Haymitch off as a pair, directly to the Capitol higher ups. This would make Snow a shit ton of money. In order for this to happen, he needs the two of them distracted by something else while he moves the final pieces into place. At this time he has no idea that Peeta and Katniss are about to win the games and cause larger issues for him by fast tracking the rebellion.

Ultimately the game Snow was playing would’ve ended with Y/N and Haymitch being sold. Everest competing in the games and rigging his victory to join the circle of victors. Arista in the Capitol as a stylist. And the baby, wherever it would most benefit him.

But Y/N and Haymitch had gotten too good at the game, so he had to draw their attention away from the board in order to advance.

#haymitch abernathy x reader #moves & countermoves

[raainy-daze]

Yo yo, guess who?

Leo x male!reader: reader had an idea and asks Mikey to draw/paint a red-eared slider shell pattern on his back and surprises Leo with it! Bonus if he has Mikey add red eye stripes, and double bonus if happy churring and cuddles ensue. Dunno if turtles have clingy instincts, but maybe Leo could take a deep dive in these hypothetical instincts and just incoherently latch on to Y/N for a couple of hours and make happy noises.

(*one of the brothers approaches*

Leo: *hiss*)

~🌺👸

Painted Shells

rottmnt leo x male!reader

summary: you think it’d be funny/cute to imitate your boyfriend, so you ask mikey to assist with your newest idea.

word count: 462

warnings for minor swearing

a/n: i’ve been forcing myself through a minor writer’s block these last few weeks, and i apparently just couldn’t figure out how to write this as a oneshot or anything, so it ended up being in this form, i hope that’s okay!

i’m finally back on requests you guys - i’m going to clear out my inbox before opening them again, but yay! sorry i was consumed by seasonal stuff. halloween’s soul itself possesses me every year ANYWAYS ENJOY

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

when you had the idea, you had gone to mikey immediately. he agreed, of course, and preparation began.

preparation consisted of two steps

step one: acquire paint actually safe for your skin

that wasn’t too hard. most craft stores sold body paint, it was just a quick errand.

step two: distract leo

also simple enough. you just had to send him out for pizza - he always took unreasonably long on tasks like that. he always got into some sort of trouble every time he even stepped outside.

all the guys did, actually - but that’s besides the point

so, you set your hoodie aside, and set to work. (or rather, you sat down down while mikey set to work)

(you paid him in candy)

you actually did the eye stripes, which weren’t in the original plan. you got bored while waiting, so you took some of the paint and just started on your eyes.

when mikey was done, you handed him a handful of starburst and left him to his own devices

you wound up waiting in leo’s room while the paint was drying - speaking of paint drying, it felt like it was taking forever.

(you had this thought about ten minutes in.)

leo’s return to the lair was hailed by several crashes, followed by “I DIDN’T DROP THE PIZZA THIS TIME!”

a few minutes later, he was in the doorway. “hey, i brought you a slice.”

he didn’t even process the paint for about ten seconds

“and then the guy gave me the box, and i swear to-“ *pause* *blink* “HOLY CRAP”

he kind of starts laughing at first - not in a mean way or anything, just from being caught off guard

“did you get mikey to do that? what the hell, (y/n)?”

he was grinning. “holy crap, that’s cool!”

cuddling ensued

this is absolutely an ego boost for him, you know

his arms were around your waist from the front, and you were patting his shell with one hand, your pizza slice in the other.

“y’know, i didn’t think this would make you so clingy.”

“i am not clingy”

“you are literally clinging to me right now. this is the definition of clinging. please be careful, i don’t know if the paint’s entirely dry.”

you remained this way for a good hour and a half.

you noticed donnie sneaking a picture for blackmail when he walked by the door, but you weren’t going to mention it.

“this is kind of gay.”

“you’re gay.” leo’s voice was muffled by your stomach, which he was pressed against.

“how could you even say such a thing, babe?”

it occurred to you that you would have to wash this off at some point. that’d probably be a nightmare.

oh well, that’s future you’s problem.

#tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #reader insert #male reader #m!reader #tmnt x male reader #rottmnt x male reader #leo x reader #tmnt leo x reader #rottmnt leo x reader #leo x male reader

[dragonwritersblog]

Five Times Jax and Pomni Share Dreams of Their Past Lives (And One Time Where They Remember)

Read on AO3

1/2/3/4/5/6

Here we are, back with another chapter! Thank you so much for the support with this, it really means a lot to me. Especially those in the funnybunny discord server I joined, ya'll have been so welcoming and accepting when I joined so thank you so much.

Also, check out these art that people have made for my fic, I still can't believe people are drawing art of it thank you so much!

Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy chapter 3!!!

3. Paper Rings

Jax stood with his arms crossed, and a frown printed on his face. Caine had called everyone for the last adventure of the day and Jax already wanted to be finished with it. Ever since his revelation earlier about how he felt about Pomni, his mind had turned into a storming whirlpool. He tried to think of anything else, pranks, centipedes, the existential dread that he was stuck here forever – it might be morbid but it was something at least -, kicking leftover gloinks, breaking Gangle’s comedy mask, Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni…

“Thank you all for coming!” Caine’s abnormally loud voice from him from his daze, thankfully. “I understand that you’ve all been working hard all day with the adventures I’ve given you, but fear not, I have one more and you can all retire for the night!”

“Do we really have to?” Zooble muttered, “Can’t this wait till tomorrow? I’ve got better things to do.”

“I agree,” Gangle whispered, “I wanted to try and fix my comedy mask…again.”

“Don’t you worry Zooble and Gangle, you darling multi-shaped freaks!” Caine bellowed, “This adventure is only for two, so you don’t need to worry about joining anything. I just wanted to gather all of you to see them off before the most exhilarating voyage of a lifetime!”

“Well, whoever it is, I’m glad they’ve got this opportunity to do so,” Ragatha smiled, “It’ll be nice to hear about it when they finish it.”

“Even if it includes insects!” Kinger interjected, “That’s very important.”

“I mean, its just one more adventure,” Pomni shrugged, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

Caine gasped dramatically, finally, their new little jester was starting to get the hang of it here. “That’s great to hear Pomni, for you and Jax are going to be paired up for this glorious crusade!”

Said jester and rabbit’s faces blanched, they were still barely processing their sudden dreams two nights in a row and still weren’t able to get today’s earlier events out of their heads! Not only that, the two were still trying to process their sudden budding feelings with one another, now Caine wanted them to pair up?! Could they not have five minutes of temporary sanity before being shoved into another bizarre situation?!

“Woah, woah, hold up there, dentures!” Jax stepped forward.

“I really don’t think-” Pomni was about to continue before Caine interrupted.

“Now, now you two!” Caine waved his finger, “No need to be so shy! By the end of this adventure, you two will be closer than ever! Just think of it as team building, especially for you Jax, I don’t think I’ve seen you be close with anyone other than-”

“Don’t,” Jax bit out, making the AI go silent. A small whimper was heard, everyone turned to look at Kinger, the chest piece was clutching his cloak tighter to himself, trying to look as small as possible.

“I…I believe we should continue on with the details of your adventure!”  Caine spluttered, wanting to change the subject as quickly as he could, “After all, there’s no reason to think of the past! Since there’s no ‘past’ for any of you to go back to.”

Pomni’s eyes darted from Caine to Kinger and Jax, curiosity began to bite at her. What happened to make everyone react like that? While she was still learning about the past performers here, she still didn’t know everything. Was there someone that Jax genuinely liked here? Did they abstract like Kaufmo as well? She remembered her first day here, the first time seeing an abstraction. If she didn’t arrive would Kaufmo still be okay? He probably had a family before this realm as well, and now any chance of seeing them again was taken from him.

“Now about your adventure! Both Jax and Pomni have to venture through the winding maze! It will be grovelling, it will be exhausting, it will leave you both wondering when this madness will end! But hey, you will end up the best of buddies the time it’s over, you might even wish you’d have stayed!”

Pomni blinked her brainstorm away, she nearly forgot about the adventure!

“Good luck, and we’ll see you both in the morning!” Before Pomni could ask him what he meant, Caine snapped his fingers and the rest of the tent disappeared before her eyes.

The ground felt different underneath her feet, looking down she realized that she was standing on some sort of pixelated grass. She lifted her head to take in the rest of her surroundings, two tall hedges standing on each side of her.

“Well, this is fantastic,” a sarcastic voice drawled. Oh, right, she was stuck with Jax until this was over, “Thank you so much Caine, this is exactly what I wanted.”

“It’s fine, this is fine!” she didn’t know if she was saying this to both of them or just to herself, “It’s just a maze with long winding paths and tall bushes that you can’t see out of and hey what was that Caine said about this madness not ending!?” She was spiralling, she knew that, but in her defence…it was Pomni. “Oh god! How long are we gonna be in here until we find an exit?! What if we don’t find an exit?!”

“Easy, Pom-Pom,” Jax rolled his eyes, “Caine would lose his entertainment if he kept us in here, now come on, I wanna get out of here as soon as possible.” He started walking a few steps, only to pause when he realised that Pomni wasn’t beside him. He let out a groan when he saw that she was still stuck in the same spot, her red and blue eyes replaced with dark swirls that only appeared when she was too caught up in her mind. He went back over and tapped the back of his hand against her cheek, causing her to gasp and jump. “Come on, the last thing we need is you delaying us because you’re too busy panicking.”

Pomni scoffed, that was unnecessary, “It’s not like I can control my panic attacks, unlike you, you actually choose to be a jerk.”

Jax froze, a smirk curling on his lips. Now this was an interesting development, “Well, well. Looks like the new cat on the block finally found her claws.”

Pomni rolled her eyes, she forgot that Jax could be incredibly annoying, “Let’s just try and find an exit.”

“Whatever you say Pom-pom,” Jax’s smirk fell, returning to his prior grimace as the two continued down the maze.

Their suspicions were corrected when guessing that this maze would last more than a while, each corner they turned was a dead end, each path seemed to lead them back to where they started and when they looked back it seemed like the area where they just were had been blocked off. They didn’t know how long they had been walking, minutes, hours? All they knew was that their feet were aching and that they desperately wanted to leave. Jax was starting to lose his patience. If he were stuck here with anyone else he would have tried to run as far away from them as he could. But for some reason, he had some sort of soft spot for Pomni and he couldn’t stand it. It made things much more frustratingly difficult for him, such as not bearing to leave her behind.

It wasn’t until she tripped for the umpteenth time did he start to lose his patience, he picked her up by the back of her collar, holding her at eye level. He had to bite back a laugh, she really did look like a cat this way, a miserable wet one at that. “I don’t think Zooble has fallen over as much as you have,” he said, “At least he has a reason to be so clumsy.”

“Oh really? And what’s your reason for being such an @SShole?” she challenged him, crossing her arms over her chest, “Or were you just born that way?”

Jax let out a slow breath, dropping Pomni into her feet again, watching her stumble as she regained her balance, “You’re right, I don’t have a reason, as long as I’m watching funny things happen to others I don’t really care.”

“Well that’s definitely a sad way to live,” Pomni mumbled, taking a few steps ahead of him.

“Its better than looking for an exit that isn’t there,” Jax retorted, “I mean, its pretty sad when you think about it."

“At least I didn’t leave you with an abstraction,” Pomni quipped, “Thanks a lot for that! It was so much fun for my first day here. Not!”

“Oh you’re so welcome,” Jax gave her a shit-eating grin, “Always great for the newbie to be traumatized on her first day, it gives ya a great taste of what else is coming.”

Pomni glared at him, oh he was having too much fun with her, “You know Ragatha got really hurt because of you? You could’ve tried to help get Caine but you just ran off to who knows where. Then when I tried to help her my hand started glitching, we could have both died!”

“But you didn’t,” he replied, placing a hand on his hip, “This isn’t my first rodeo with something like this, you would’ve been fine.”

“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t freaked out by it!” Pomni grit her teeth, “Like you said, I’m new, how was I supposed to know that it was gonna be fine?!”

“Look just lay off it already?!” Jax fumed.

“Right, cause nearly getting devoured by a glitchy monstrosity is so easy to forget about,” Pomni walked past him. “God you’re such a pain.”

Jax grumbled under his breath, “What do you want, an apology? That’s not something I do sweetie.”

Pomni growled, whipping back round to face him, “Okay, what is with you?! You say you don’t have a reason to care, yet you defended me earlier today when Caine was yelling at me! What the h%ll was that about?!”

Jax inhaled deeply, now she was starting to get on his nerves, but he seemed to be doing the same to her so at least he had some sort of equal footing, “Like I said, I didn’t want Bubble to destroy the carnival, there’s no deeper meaning.”

“And I don’t believe you,” Pomni frowned, “Otherwise you wouldn’t react that way earlier when Caine was talking about you being close with someone.”

Jax flinched, he spoke in a low tone, “That’s deep water you’re treading there, sweetie. I’d recommend for you to stop while you’re ahead.” He shoved past her, ignoring her scoff.

“At least I’m trying to leave!” she stated, “If I can find a way to do that then I can help the others get out of here too! What have you done other than be a d*)k to everyone here?!”

“You really wanna know Pomni?!” he yelled, turning back and stomping over to her, “I have tried to get out! I’ve tried to collect every single key here and yet none of them has opened an exit! Do you know how it feels, to watch everyone else here slowly give up on finding a way out?! You haven’t been here as long as I have! You haven’t seen what I’ve seen! And it hurts to have everyone tell you that it’s pointless in trying to leave, trying to find a way back to a life you don’t remember! So yes, I’m awful and I shouldn’t act this way! I get it! You don’t think I hate it too?! But for some reason when I’m with you I just-!”

He froze, catching himself before he fell off the edge. Pomni’s eyes were wide and cautious, great, he was scaring her off. This should be a good thing, he wouldn’t have to deal with these stupid butterflies anymore, so why did he feel so upset about it? But instead of her yelling at him to leave her alone, all she said was, “I’m sorry that you went through that, but don’t ever speak to me like that again.” A tear fell from her eye, “And maybe it is pointless for me to find an exit like how you tried to as well, but I wanna go back to a world and see what it can offer me rather than live in a place surrounded by fear and void. Even if the life I had before was bad, at least I’ll know that I’m able to change it into something else…I feel sorry for you Jax, I really do.”

With that, she finally walked away, slowly enough for him to catch up but enough for her to leave some distance between them. He shouldn’t care, he doesn’t care, he won’t care. But, just looking at her, seeing the disappointment in her eyes. There was just no denying the raw heartache he felt after hearing those words from her. He really did fall for her, didn’t he? And he probably messed this up too, just like…no, he doesn’t need to think about that event, not anymore.

The next hour of walking was nothing but awkward filled silence. The whole time, the two just wanted to say something, anything to the other, but the words just couldn’t come to mind, and they were just getting too exhausted to keep going. Though there was no indication of night and day here, the way that their eyes kept drooping and the struggle to keep going was starting to overcome their senses.

“We-um,” Pomni stuttered, Jax’s heart fluttered a bit, was he happy at the fact that she finally said something? “We should probably try and get some sleep. It isn’t a good idea to keep going like this.”

“Yeah, we…we should,” Jax nodded, “It’ll stop you from constantly tripping over your feet, eh?” He meant for it to be a joke, but she didn’t react other than a simple hum, he could understand why though.

They walked over to one of the hedges, sitting and leaning against the back of it. It wasn’t the best bed but there wasn’t anything else that they could do. Pomni shuffled away from him, to give Jax some room. “Well, night,” she said softly.

“It’s not able to be night here,” Jax spoke, “But I get what you mean.”

Like that, they turned away from each other, shutting their eyes. Neither of them aware that they were wondering what their dream would be about tonight.

.

.

.

The coffee table in Amber’s living room was scattered with treats. From the remains of gingerbread men and houses to chocolate chip and sugar cookies, even some sweet mince pies, two mugs of hot chocolate and a can of whipped cream on the side. It definitely wasn’t a healthy breakfast, but this sugary calamity was something special Penny liked to share with her mother since she started homeschooling. When things started to turn around for her, Amber made sure that every single aspect of her life was, while not perfect, something for Penny to look forward to. And thus, dessert for breakfast on Christmas morning was born.

Amber and Penny were lazing on the couch, the TV in front of them playing ‘The Grinch’ while the two stuffed themselves to their hearts content. Amber had squirted some whipped cream into her mouth before automatically doing the same with Penny, not even taking her eyes off the TV to know that her daughter had opened her mouth for some. After placing the can back onto the table, she and Penny leaned back into the cushions, with Amber wrapping her arms around her youngest daughter and holding her close. “I feel like at some point we’re going to become the couch if we keep doing this each year,” Penny giggled.

“Honey, we already have,” Amber smiled, pressing a kiss to Penny’s hair, “We are couch people and always will be couch people. I still can’t believe you used to be scared of this movie when you were a kid.”

“That was until I discovered the magic that was Jim Carrey’s comedic line delivery,” Penny replied, “The man’s a legend.”

“He really is, and you will be too my little costuming star!” Amber nuzzled her daughter’s nose with her nose, laughing at Penny’s groans.

“Mom!” Penny buried her head into Amber’s shoulder, “Stop!” She didn’t mean it and Amber knew that.

“I can’t help it if my daughter is amazingly talented,” Amber grinned, loosening up a bit as she peered down to look at Penny’s face. “You know, you seem a little different after that date with Jack at the Christmas fair.”

“I-what-mom!” Penny spluttered, her face as red as a tomato, “It was not a date!”

“Mmhmm,” Amber was not convinced in the slightest, “Baby, I’m old enough and wise enough to realise what a date looks like.”

“Mom…you, wise?” Penny stated.

“Ah, ah, I’m not finished,” Amber waved a finger in front of her face, “Trust me when I say this, I’ve been watching your sister fall in love with Winter and I’ve seen how they act around each other. You know when they first met it was over carrot cake?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard this story before,” Penny smiled, “There were having lunch at work and Winter got carrot cake because it was her favourite while Riley hated it.”

“And the two debated the whole day about cake flavours that they ended up becoming friends,” Amber continued, “And every time they saw each other Riley always brought Winter carrot cake.”

“What does this have to do with Jack?” Penny asked.

“I’ve seen the way Riley looks at Winter,” Amber told her, “She looks at her as though if she was the only thing that matters in the world. She could be surrounded by all the treasures in the world but she would still choose Winter. I saw how that boy looked at you before he left, in a room full of riches he would choose you.”

Penny blushed, thinking back to Jack kissing her cheek. The way he looked at her back then, it filled her stomach with butterflies and her heart thump hard. She never felt this way about anyone before, but the way he would smile at her, send her winks and always make her feel safe, it was hard not to fall for him. The only question was, did he feel the same way back? Sure he kissed her back but that was only on the forehead, what if it was a friendly kiss? What if she makes him feel awkward once she tells him how she feels? What if he wants nothing to do with her anymore?

“Penny, hey, it’s okay,” Amber pushed her daughter’s hair away from her eyes, taking her cheeks into her hands, “I can hear the cogs in your brain turning, but trust me when I say this, your dad has never looked at me the way Jack looks at you.”

Penny bit her lip, she knew that though her mother loved David in the past, he had hurt and betrayed her in many ways too. It was why they had these sugary breakfasts for Christmas, little things like that as a way for Amber to show how sorry she was for what David did to them. If there was a way Penny could show her that she wasn’t at fault, that she forgave her for everything that happened, that it was David who should be at fault for always gaslighting and manipulating Amber into thinking he was still the same man she married, but he was nothing of the sort.

“Mom,” Penny snuggled further into her mother, providing her with the comfort she needed.

“It’s okay baby, I’ve made my peace with it,” Amber held her tighter, “My only regret is that I didn’t realise he was this way before we were married. He gave me false hope and promises, love-bombed me until I could only see the world in rose tinted glasses and by the time I could finally get them off, he got you into that car crash. Jack isn’t like that. I’ve met him a few times while Winter and Riley were dating, and while he didn’t fully introduce himself, Winter’s mom always spoke about him. What I know of him is that while he’s scared and has been hurt many times before, unlike David, he wants to get better not just for his family, but for himself too. That’s more than David has ever done for me or for us.”

“Hey,” Penny turned her head to look up at her mother, “David fucked us all up. And yes, I’m still really scared with giving others a chance, but you’re one of the reasons why I’m able to get help. You were there for me every single step of my recovery and made sure that I was safe and happy. Parenting is a two-person job and not only did you have to do most of it on your own, but you also had two kids under your belt and raised us no matter what was thrown at you. Even if you didn’t leave David before the crash, you helped shield Riley and I as much as you could so that we had a good childhood. Don’t let your shitty ex-husband make you blame yourself for being a great mom.”

“Oh, babygirl, how did I get so lucky with you and your sister,” Amber pressed kisses over Penny’s face, her daughter’s nose scrunching up as she giggled. Her mother pulled away, smiling at her again.

“And you really think that…that Jack sees me like how you said?” Penny mumbled.

Amber gave her a look, her brow was raised and mouth was agape, “Honey, the guy wanted to wait for the perfect moment to ask for your number and kissed your forehead under the moonlight, the man is wrapped around your finger and you don’t even know it.” Penny blushed, ducking slightly under the blanket she was in. “Pen, I’d say go for it, only if you want to. You seem so much more yourself around him. But if he breaks your heart, I’m sending Riley after him.”

Penny burst out laughing at that, “Riley would send him to an early grave!”

“I know,” Amber stated matter-of-factly, “And I won’t hesitate to let her do it.”

“Mom no!” Penny snorted, “And you wonder where Riley gets these tendencies from.”

“Good,” Amber grinned, “That means I taught her well.”

Amber couldn’t help but join in on the laughter, just hearing her daughter laugh was enough to help her forget that she had even mentioned or thought about David. Penny was just that important to her. If anything happened to her…no, this was a good moment, there was so reason to think about the inevitable.

Penny’s phone dinged from the coffee table, sobering up from her laugh session, she leaned over to see what notification she got. What she saw made her gasp and nearly drop her phone.

“Winter proposed to Riley!” She squealed to Amber, the older woman immediately leaning over to check the recent news, “And she said yes!”

“Oh my god!” Amber screamed with joy, shaking Penny by the shoulders, “My daughter is getting married, I’m so happy!”

“Mom I know you’re excited too but I’m gonna be sick!” Penny warbled, starting to get dizzy.

“I’m sorry baby but it’s just, aaaahhhhh!” Amber got up from the couch, “I’m just so happy for her! Wait here, I’m gonna get my phone and message your sister!”

Penny giggled at her mother’s antics as she ran out the room, turning away to look at the image on her phone again. Riley and Winter’s faces weren’t in the picture, but what she did see was the Winter was behind the camera, holding Riley’s hand as she showed off her new engagement ring. This was without a doubt going to be an interesting Christmas dinner.

.

.

.

Jack straightened up his tie again, before unfolding it and retying it again as he stared at himself in the mirror. This was the first time he and Penny were having their families together for dinner, and after the kiss from the Christmas fair, he wanted to follow up on that. Penny had taken over his mind and senses to the point that he had to see her in person again.

Winter and her 8-year-old sister Nina stood at the corner watching him, with Nina’s twin Alex still upstairs getting ready. “What’s the retying count at now Nina?” Winter asked.

“49, wait, it just got up to 50,” Nina told her.

Winter whistled cooly, “Jeez, that’s a new record.”

“I can hear you both you know!” Jack called to them, “You guys wanna keep standing there or do I need to give Nina’s new toys to the bogeyman.”

“No!” Nina cried, running away back up to her room to check if her new Christmas presents were still intact.

“You don’t need to keep worrying,” Winter walked up to him, shoving his hands away and took his tie into her own, “You were blushing like a tomato after kissing that girl and she was just the same. Just play your cards right, take it slow and things will work out.” She wrapped the tie into a knot.

“That’s easy for the recently engaged lesbian to say,” Jack pointed out, “Which by the way, congratulations again.”

“Thank you,” Winter grinned.

“I just…I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” Jack sighed, “I never thought I deserved someone who could make me this happy. Every time she walks into a room I forget how to breath. I can’t mess this up.”

Winter stopped her hands for a moment, “The only way you’re gonna mess things up is if you let those thoughts win. You’ve been doing great and you told each other what happened when you both were kids and she still wants to see you. Just take a breath, let me fix your tie and just let the night lead itself. I didn’t have much of a plan for proposing to Riley other than doing it on Christmas and she still agreed to marry me. Plans are overrated…sometimes, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, “I do.” He took a breath as Winter finally finished his tie, checking himself out in the mirror. He flashed himself a grin, “Still as handsome as always.”

“And he’s back,” Winter rolled her eyes.

“Ooooh!” Both Jack and Winter turned to the sound of teasing voices, looking up to the stairs and seeing Nina and Alex with mischievous grins on their faces while chanting, “Jack has a girlfriend! Jack has a girlfriend!”

“Jack is gonna give all your gifts to the bogeyman!” He retorted, making the two scream and rush downstairs into the living room.

Meanwhile, Riley was busy helping carry the plates and cutlery to the table making sure everything was carefully placed on the Christmas-snowflake themed tablemats. Winter’s mother, Laura, came in carrying a hot plate of steamed vegetables, focusing on her attention on the food to make sure it wouldn’t fall before Riley came over to take it from her. “Here, Mrs Alvarez,” she said, “Let me.”

“Oh Riley there’s no need,” Laura patted her back, “I just wanted you to relax with Winter, let me and Marcus manage it.”

“I’m going to become part of your family soon. Please, allow me,” Riley persisted, placing down the pot near the centre of the table.

“Oh you’re a good girl Riley,” Laura took Riley’s hand into hers, “It’s no wonder Winter fell in love with you.”

“Mama!” Winter flushed, entering the dining room with Jack hot on her heels, “Please save the embarrassing stuff for the wedding!”

“No Laura continue,” Jack grinned, “This is karma for teasing me about Penny.”

“Oh, Penny Reed?” Winter’s father Marcus entered the dining room, his smile wide and his eyes crinkling with joy. “Winter told me so much about your date with her at the fair. Tell me more about her!”

Shit Jack cursed internally, with Winter sending him a smug look. “Well, I-”

“Yes, do go on,” Riley’s firm voice chided him, almost threatening him to not slip up. “Tell us more about my sister Jack.”

And now he had to tread carefully, especially talking about the younger sister of a 6-foot redhead with the experience of breaking the bones of criminals and throwing people over her shoulder. Please let whatever luck he had be on his side during this moment. “W-well she’s kind, funny,” He gulped as Riley squinted at him, he really didn’t want to die tonight, “And she one of the best people I’ve ever met in my entire life…whenever I’m with her, she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. I just hope that I’m making her happy too.”

Riley softened a bit, did that mean she approved of his answer or thinking of plans ranging from A to Z to murder him?! This woman terrified him to no end!

“Well, she must be pretty special if you think that of her,” Laura beamed, “I can’t wait to officially meet my other daughter-in-law! Now if you excuse me, I need to get the pork out of the oven.”

“Hang on, I’ll help!” Marcus called after his wife as he trailed after her.

That was when the doorbell rang, light and quick on his feet, Jack bounded for the door. He straightened his jacket and tie one more time, cleared his throat rolled back his shoulder, he could do this. With a turn of the knob, the door swung open, revealing Penny glowing under the moonlight. Suddenly, his voice was cut in his throat and his palms were sweating despite the chill rolling in from the open door. The only word he managed to say was, “Hi.”

“Hi,” she shyly replied, her hands tightening on a small gift bag she brought.

He shook his head quickly, letting himself reboot as he turned to Amber, her smirk held nothing but the knowledge of a woman who knew all too well about what the two felt for one another. “Amber,” he greeted, holding out his hand for her to shake, “It’s good to see you again.”

“And you Jack,” Amber returned the handshake, letting him lead her and Penny into the house before shutting the door behind them. “I see you’ve cleaned up well.” It was a normal sentence, but her words told a totally different story.

Oh, she knew, she really knew! He was an open book and Amber had flicked through every single page. “I-I always dress this nice for Christmas, ma’am,” he stammered, “It wouldn’t be formal of me to not look this good for the holidays.”

Amber hummed, sure she believed what he said, but what Jack failed to realise was that Amber noticed his suit was the colour blue – Penny’s favourite colour.

“Hey mom,” Riley made a beeline to her mother, wrapping her arms around her, “I hope walking here wasn’t too bad with the snow,”

“Don’t worry baby, it was fine,” Amber pressed a kiss to her hair before pulling back, “But enough about me, let me see the ring!”

Riley blushed, unable to hide the giddy smile as she held up her hand.

“Oh my god, Riley!” Penny squealed, hugging her older sister. “Winter got you a good one! I’m so happy for you!”

“I know,” Riley laughed, “I’m the luckiest woman in the world.”

“Actually, that would be me,” Winter slid her arms around fiancé’s waist from behind, resting her head on her shoulder, “I’m the one who’s marrying this beautiful woman.”

“Flattery already?” Riley pressed her cheek against Winter’s, “And the marriage hasn’t even begun.”

“Am I not allowed to compliment my soon-to-be-wife?” Winter kissed Riley’s cheek, “Besides, that’s only 20% of my flattery, I’m saving the other 80% for my vows.”

“Dear god,” Riley slapped her palm against her forehead, knowing Winter, she was going to leave Riley as red as a tomato.

Penny stifled a laugh, Jack screamed internally at the sound. How can anyone be this fucking cute?!

“Penny!” Laura came rushing down the hall, her apron stained with some type of sauce, “I’m so happy we can finally meet.”

She opened her arms, ready to bring Penny in for a hug, only for the girl to freeze and back away. Laura faltered, her brows furrowing with concern at Penny’s startled reaction. Winter was quick to step in.

“Mama, remember,” she told her, “Penny is funny with being touched unless it’s by someone she fully knows and trusts or she’s the one going first.”

“Oh goodness,” Laura gasped, “Penny sweetie I’m so sorry I genuinely forgot!”

“It’s fine, really it’s fine,” Penny reassured her, stepping forward, “Honestly I’m able to tell when it’s a simple mistake.”

Jack’s stomach churned, all those years of bullying and her father berating her made Penny so frightened. He just wanted to shield her from everything bad so that she would never have to feel that sort of fear and pain ever again. Out of anyone in this room, he could relate to that type of fear.

“I’ll make sure to let the others know, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable during your first meal here,” Laura informed her.

“Thank you Mrs Alvarez,” Penny smiled, “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s absolutely no problem honey,” Laura emphasized, “Now I’ve gotta get the rest of these plates out, please, make yourselves at home.” With that, she turned to walk back into the kitchen.

“Here, let me take your coats,” Jack offered, holding his arm out.

“What a gentleman!” Amber gave Penny a look, making the girl glare at her mother, “Penny you better snatch him up before anyone else does.”

“Mom!” Penny hissed. Jack was fairly sure his face resembled the red lights flashing on the Christmas tree.

“Mom, why don’t you and Penny just wait in the living room please!” Riley exasperated, desperate for her mother to not spout out whatever she had in mind.

Amber put her hands up in surrender, “Alright, I yield.”

“Don’t worry Amber,” Winter took the woman’s arm into hers and led her into the living room, “She’s been like that with me whenever I point them out as well.”

“Honestly Winter, what it your fiancé like?” she joked, leaving Riley gaping behind them.

“I heard that!” Riley hollered, chasing after them, leaving Jack and Penny alone in the hallway together.

Jack took this moment to take in the garment she was wearing. It was a simple crimson dress with a floor length pleated skirt, long off-the-shoulder bell sleeves and a ruffled neckline. “You look…wow,” he breathed, how was she able to take something so simple and still look so stunning? She truly was remarkable.

“Thanks,” she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, “I wasn’t gonna wear it but I thought that it would be nice for this evening.”

“You’re so beautiful,” he knew what he said, and he wasn’t going to take it back, not when she peered up at him through her long lashes with a gasp.

“Y-you’re ridiculous,” she uttered, handing him her jacket.

“Hey, just telling the truth here,” he replied as he went to hang up her jacket on the wall, “Besides, someone’s gotta point out how pretty you are.”

“Keep the chivalry to yourself sir,” Penny placed a hand on her hip.

“Can’t help it, I’m dreamy,” he was unable to keep the grin off his face at her pout. His face softened, holding out his arm, “Shall we?”

Penny raised a brow at him, grinning. “Mr Jack how thoughtful of you.”

“Well I have to put the wellbeing of our guests first,” He joked back, “Let me introduce you to everyone else.”

Penny nodded and slipped her arm into his, the two unable to fight of the chortles at their current predicament. He led her into the living room, Amber was already sitting down talking to Riley and Winter. On the sofa across from them was another couple around Marcus and Laura’s age. “Penny, this is Winter’s aunt and uncle, Anya and Winston.” he introduced. She gave them a nod before Jack led her to another young woman around her age. “This is their daughter Kiara.”

“It’s really nice to meet you Penny,” Kiara greeted.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Penny returned.

Winston spoke up, “Laura’s been talking nonstop about ‘Jack’s new sweetheart,’ so it’s nice to finally meet the lovely lady in person.”

“Of course Laura’s been talking about us,” Jack groaned, Penny had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.

“She’s so pretty Jack!” Anya gushed from her seat, “Where did you find this lovely girl?”

Both of them paled, sharing a look. The story about how they met was always going to be an awkward one, wasn’t it? They were saved by the sound of thundering feet descending down the stairs as Nina and Alex came bounding over to Jack and clutched each of his leg.

“Jack!” Nina cheered, “Penny’s here!”

“Yes, I can see that-ah-guys let go!” He stumbled over his feet and words, how much sugar did these two have earlier?

“Jack has a girlfriend! Jack has a girlfriend!” Alex chanted.

Penny and Jack spluttered over their words, at a loss of what they heard. “We’re not-” Penny gasped.

“It’s not like that-!” Jack objected “We’re just-”

“-Friends!” They chorused. Friends yes, that was what they were, but it just didn’t sound like something they wanted to continue being. They were unable to keep the daydreams of each other away anymore, to constantly wonder what the other was doing, what other hobbies they might have, if the other felt the same way.

“Nina, Alex!” Laura came back through again, the apron gone as she took each twin’s arm in her hands and pulled them off Jack, much to his relief. “That’s enough harassing Jack, dinner is ready.”

“I can’t wait to see what you’ve made this year Laura,” Winston clapped his hands together.

“I’ve gotta say I’m pretty excited to eat what you’ve made as well,” Amber got up, “As well as the table gossip as well.” She gestured to Jack and Penny.

“Oh Amber you must sit next to me, I have so much to share,” Laura not-so-subtly gestured to Jack and Penny.

Both mothers grinned, leaving Jack and Penny flustered messes unable to move from their spots.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Jack unlinked his arm, immediately missing Penny’s warmth.

“No, I should be sorry,” Penny objected, “My mom can be a lot sometimes.”

“Well I guess that’s just another thing we have in common,” Jack nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I think so,” Penny’s embarrassment began to slip away, Jack’s seemingly doing so as well.

“Penny!” Riley interjected, taking her sister’s hand, “Sit next to me!”

“But I-woah!” Riley dragged her younger sister into the dining room, plopping her down to the seat on Riley’s left while Winter sat on Riley’s right. Guess she was still a bit protective.

“What are you waiting for over there dude? Come on!” Winter waved a hand over.

Jack let out a slow breath as he walked over, sitting opposite from Penny. At least it would be easier to talk to her face to face without twisting his head. Soon, everyone was loading pork, bread and steamed vegetables onto their plates, Kiara was taking photos of her food with Anya scolding her to put her phone away, Winston was already scooping up spoonful’s into his mouth, Nina and Alex grimaced at the greens on their plates and asking when dessert was, Laura was pouring wine into her and Amber’s glasses before clinking them together, Marcus was listing off each shop he had to visit just to make sure he got every right ingredient for tonight’s meal, Winter and Riley were holding hands and had all their focus on each other instead of the food in front of them, and Penny and Jack kept trading small glances while eating, their eyes holding their own conversation as the drowned everyone else out.

“So Jack,” Anya piped up, “Do you have any plans once you graduate?”

“Uh, what?” he barely registered the question until it finally caught up to him. “Oh, right! Um, I’m trying to apply for an internship at this game company called C&A, they hire a lot of indie and free-lancing creators and help promote their games so I’m hoping to get a place there.”

“I think you’ll get it,” Penny said, “I’ve seen some of the stuff Jack worked on, he’s really talented.”

“And so are you little lady,” he said that mostly to see her cute pout again, “Laura, did you know that Penny is a costume designer?”

“I did,” Laura nodded, “And I’ve seen some of the pictures of her creations that you showed me, Penny you really do have a talent.”

“She’s been designing ever since she was six,” Riley said, “I have no idea where she gets her ideas from, it’s incredible.”

“It meets the bar at least,” Penny objected, “Trust me there’s people in my class that are way better than I am.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Pen, every time you send me a picture of something you’ve made It just shows how creative you are. Someone’s gonna reach out to you one day and say ‘Penny, you are one of the most talented people in the world and I wanna hire you!’ it’ll happen one day, I swear on it, after all I’m never wrong,” Jack said, pointing his fork at her.

“You? Never wrong?” Penny said doubtingly.

“What? I’ll have you know I’m very smart,” he frowned mockingly.

“I’m gonna have to agree with my sister there,” Riley said.

“Oh come on!” Jack cried and turned to Winter, “A little help here?”

“Why, everything they said is true,” she chortled.

Jack moaned as the rest of the table laughed, clearly taking pride in his misery.

Penny’s giggles died down, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye as she faced him again, “Well hopefully someone will take pity on my designs one day.”

“You mean someone will see how exceptional you are,” Jack pointed out.

“Awfully generous but sure, we’ll stick with that,” Penny rolled her eyes fondly.

“Let’s just hope he says what he means instead of talking out of his ass,” Riley quipped.

Penny threw her sister a look, “Riley,”

“What?” Riley shrugged her shoulder, “I’m not saying he’s wrong.”

Amber raised a brow at her daughter. It was a joke, she knew that was going to happen. But she knew Riley long enough to know when her daughter was hiding something, and more importantly, when Riley was hurting.

“Speaking of designs,” Penny said, “Riley, you gotta let me make your dress.”

“What, you don’t need to do that, I just want you to enjoy the wedding,” Riley interjected.

“Can’t hear you, I’m too busy thinking about your dress since I’m the best sister ever,” Penny gave her sister a sly grin.

Riley huffed a laugh, once her sister was inspired nothing could stop her.

“Jack?” Nina piped up.

“What’s up squirt?”

“Can you sing ‘No Girl’s Toy? after dessert?” she pleaded.

“Yeah, “No Girl’s Toy!” Alex cheered with his sister, “Oh please Jack, please sing that!”

Jack flushed, waving his hands in exasperation, “Woah, woah hang on! I’m not singing that!”

“Please Jack, please!” The twins chorused.

“It’s just a little song Jack,” Winter jeered, Jack glared at her.

“Yeah,” Riley joined in on her fiancé’s antics, “What’s so wrong with the Raggedy Andy song Jack?”

“I sung that one time and suddenly whenever it’s brought up I’m forced to sing it!” he told them, “I’m putting my foot down on this one, there’s no way that any of you can convince me too-”

“Raggedy Ann was my favourite movie growing up,” Penny mentioned, “I’d love to hear you sing that song. Please?”

Oh god, Penny’s chocolate brown eyes had such an effective grip on him, how on earth could he say no to those lovely eyes? He sighed, “Fine, one song and that’s it.”

“Yay!” The twins cheered before tucking back into their meal.

“You should bring Penny over more often,” said Alex.

“Yeah she makes you do fun stuff,” Nina agreed.

“It is very interesting how easily swayed you were,” Laura joined in.

Jack wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole, he was being way too obvious with how he felt. “Please, I just want to eat my food without any further humiliation.”

“You know Marcus, he’s acting just like you before you started going out with Laura,” Winston said, “The red face, being easily swayed, the teasing. I’m getting a bit of déjà vu here.”

Jack bit down on his fork hard as Penny began to quietly squeal like a kettle, this night was already too much for the both of them.

After dinner and dessert was finished, Riley was helping Laura wash up the dishes despite the woman requesting Riley to sit down. “Laura, do you mind if I have a word with my daughter?” Amber asked, entering the kitchen.

“Oh, of course,” Laura said before turning back to Riley again, “Remember sweetie, you’re our guest, make sure you relax tonight.”

“Just after I’m finished with this dish Mrs Alvarez,” Riley continued to scrub the plate, “Than I’ll relax.”

Laura patted her back, leaving the mother and daughter in the kitchen alone together. “Is everything okay with you?” Amber asked.

“What do you mean?” Riley didn’t take her eyes off the plate.

“I mean with Jack and Penny,” Amber told her, “I thought you were fine with him back when you started dating Winter.”

“I am,” Winter dried off the plate and put it away, “If this is about Penny, that’s just me being protective.”

“I know that,” Amber walked over to her, “But I also noticed that you seemed a bit aggravated towards him.”

Riley whipped round, “No I wasn’t, I was just looking out for Penny.”

“Penny is a grown adult who can make her own choices,” Amber walked closer to her, “Riley, baby, why are you so worried?”

“Come on mom, you aren’t at least a little bit worried?” Riley argued, “You aren’t worried that he’s like the boys from Penny’s high school. Penny’s got a sensitive heart, what if he breaks it like they did? Those boys didn’t actually like her, they wanted to control her. And once she didn’t give them what they wanted they would just dump her! What if he’s like that, what if he makes her hate herself? What if he makes her so scared to the point she stops talking again? What if we actually lose her? What if-”

“-If he’s like David,” Amber finished for her, “That’s what it is, right?”

Riley froze, part of her knew that this was why she was so scared for her younger sister, but she wanted David out of her mind. He already tried to force himself back into Riley’s life many times to ask for money, and she never forgave him for involving Penny in that car crash. She hated him, she hated him so much that she would never let anyone else hurt Penny like that again, she failed with David, she failed with those stupid high school boys and she won’t make that mistake ever again. “I have to be careful mom,” Riley said to her mother, “I can’t let Penny feel that kind of pain again.”

“I know baby,” Amber said, “When I heard of Jack and Penny seeing each other I got worried as well. It’s always my first instinct. But now, I know that I can’t let David control what could actually be good for Penny, I won’t let him get into my head like that. I’m still scared, baby believe me, but not as much as I used to be.” She cupped her daughter’s cheek, gently lifting her head to meet her eyes, “David hurt you too Riley, I know you hate thinking about him, but you’re allowed to feel betrayed as well. If I ever made you feel that you weren’t allowed to hurt for what he did to you, I’m so sorry. I’m your mother and I’m supposed to protect my babies. Yes, I protected Penny, but don’t think for a second I won’t protect you too, even after you’ve left the nest.”

Amber held her arms out for her daughter. After so much anger and frustrations for her father after so long, Riley all but broke in her mother’s arms, Amber stroking her hair and whispering comforts into her ear. “It’s okay baby, I’m here, mama’s here.”

A soft sniffle made them turn to the doorway, seeing Penny there with a few leaked tears. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she whimpered, “Can I have a hug too?”

Riley and Amber opened their arms for her, letting the youngest daughter cry along with them as their mother squeezed them both. In that moment, Riley wasn’t an engaged woman and Penny wasn’t an aspiring college student. They were just the 10- and 14-year-old girls letting their mother sooth them after so much pain.

After a while, their tears were dried and the three headed back into the living room. Everyone rushed up to them, panicking and asking them if they were all right. They told the rest of the family that they were fine, just a mother and her two daughters picking up a few fallen pieces.

It wasn’t until Penny erupted into a fit of giggles, seeing Jack being the one to pout this time as he held up a microphone and had the TV ready to play ‘No Girl’s Toy.’ Everyone was immediately seated, ready to hear the performance.

“I hope my suffering entertains you monsters,” he mumbled, before pressing play on the music. He gave out one final sigh before he began to sing.

Well, you can push me, shove me, turn me around, but I'm no girl's toy!

You can tie me, toss me, upside or down, but I'm no girl's toy!

I sing my own sweet melody, I go my own sweet way.

I won't beg 'round tomorrow for the kind of affection that was free today!

Oh, you can squeeze me, tease me; say I'm your own but I'm no girl's toy!

You can charm me, chase me, follow me home; I won't be coy!

You may not like it much but I'm my own best boy,

And not some sugar and spicy, lacy and nicey, sissy you're gonna enjoy!

No, I'm no girl's toy!

Everyone applauded and clapped as he continued to sing. He was embarrassed, that was for sure. But seeing Penny so carefree and happy, no worries and stress in those beautiful eyes of hers, just having fun with everyone else, he would sing this song for the rest of his life as long as she was happy. He was unable to stop his pleased smile while he sang.

Riley rested her head on Winter’s shoulder, she didn’t need to say anything for Winter to know when her fiancé needed her. She kept looking between Jack and Penny, just seeing what he would do for her, she knew that he wasn’t a bad person, although her protectiveness would always take over her senses. However she knew that Penny had to do this on her own, but for the first time in a while, she believed that her little sister was safe.

.

.

.

Spring had arrived, the perfect atmosphere for Riley and Winter’s wedding to take place. They had booked a hotel for the night and rented out it’s ballroom for tonight’s event. There was only one thing on everyone’s minds, make sure this wedding went off without a hitch.

Since Christmas, Penny had put all her focus on making the perfect dress for Riley, something that was pristine and bridal while also making sure that this dress was something only Riley would wear. Jack had facetimed her every time she was sewing, making sure she was getting on well with the dress while also making sure she was eating and drinking enough fluids. He had also seen the final result of the dress and he was determined that once Winter saw Riley walking down the isle wearing that, she would promptly burst into tears.

After hours of setting up flowers and decorations, making sure the place was spotless, the meals were delicious, the dance floor was ready, getting changed into their wedding outfits and the chocolate fondue was prepared, everyone could finally breathe until the wedding officially begun.

Jack was currently standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for Winter to walk up with her father. That would be the order, the brides would wait in their dressing rooms, wait for one of them to walk up the aisle first before leaving their own room to walk up as well, in order for neither of them to see their gowns.

He wore a black tux with a simple white blouse underneath, fiddling with his cuffs one more time before resting his hands. Of course Winter had asked him to be her best man, it was expected since he was practically her adopted brother. Alex was beside him, standing proud and taking his job as the ring bearer seriously. He ruffled the boy’s hair, making him laugh before Laura sent a look to the boys, telling them to behave.

Everyone straightened up when the music began. The doors opened, revealing Nina as the flower girl, spreading flowers across the aisle as a few bridesmaids followed, including Kiara, each of them wearing soft silvery grey dresses. There was a swell of pride when he watched Winter walk through the doors and up the aisle, her arm secured in Marcus’s as the man led his daughter up while his eyes welled with tears. Winter wore a snow-white gown with a full-layered skirt while her bodice consisted of a sweetheart neckline and spaghetti straps. Some would call it simple, Winter called it timeless.

Once she arrived at the top of the aisle, her father kissed her on the cheek and whispered praise into her ear. It was only when she stood at the top and her father sat down, Jack noticed her clutching her bouquet of roses while trembling like a leaf. He leaned over and whispered, “You’re okay. Riley has been head over heals with you ever since you met.”

“What if she changes her mind?” she whispered back, “What if she realises we’re too different and leaves?”

“That’s not possible,” he told her, “You too are proof of the carrot cake theory working.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, baffled.

“The carrot cake theory,” he said, “You love it and Riley hates it, yet she always brought a freshly homemade carrot cake because you it’s your favourite. You too are proof that the theory works, that opposites attract.”

Winter snorted, “You just blatantly ripped off the olive theory.”

“Mine is better,” he sniffed, “Besides, it got you to stop shaking.”

Winter looked down at her hands, he was right, she had stopped shaking. The doors opened and Winter’s breath hitched as she gawked at her bride. Riley’s arm was in her mothers, her dress was an off-the-shoulder mermaid cut with a train, the white fabric adorned with glittered floral embroidery and long sleeves. The dress clung to her, Winter let a few tears fall, she was beautiful.

Jack was taken aback to, not by the bride, but by her maid of honour. Penny’s dress wasn’t as grand, yes, but he couldn’t take her eyes off her as she followed her sister. Her dress consisted of a purplish rouge chiffon fabric, a long A-line skirt, a straight across neckline and long balloon sleeves. He fell in love all over again.

Once Riley reached the end of the aisle, her hands latched onto Winter’s as Jack and Penny took a hold of their bouquets. Both brides were focused on each other, nothing else mattered. Once Amber sat down, did the wedding begin.

“Dearly beloved,” the officiator spoke, “We are gathered here today for the wonderful union of Riley Reed and Amber Alvarez. These two have proven that despite our differences, there is a love that can be found no matter what. Today, we are here to celebrate that love as these lovely ladies become not just married, but soulmates on this day. Winter, your vows.”

Winter took a shaky breath, “Riley, when I first met you, I won’t lie, I was a bit scared of you,” That earned a laugh from the crowd. “But after getting to know you, knowing how much you love your family, what you’ll do to make sure our clients get the justice they deserve, and knowing that despite your front, you are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Riley began to cry as well, unable to keep all the affection she felt for this woman at bay. With the officiator’s okay, she began her speech. “Winter, every time I look at you I just keep asking myself, how did I get so lucky? How did I deserve the most perfect girl in the world? You look at the world with such positivity and kindness that I couldn’t not fall in love with you. Every time I look at you, you remind me why I became a private investigator, to help amazing people like you make the world a better place. I just…I really fucking love you Winter!”

Winter gave her a wet laugh, God she wanted to kiss her so bad.

“Winter,” the officiator said, “Do you take Riley Reed to be your wife, in sickness and in health, until the day you part, may you be together?”

“I do!” Winter replied immediately.

“And do you Riley-”

“I do, a thousand times I do!” Riley couldn’t stop the tears, not caring if her makeup got ruined.

“May we have the rings?” the officiator asked. Alex puffed his chest and beamed, carrying the rings over to the brides. The women thanked the young boy as the slipped each ring onto each other’s finger before holding hands again. “By the power vested in me, I know pronounce you too married. You may kiss the-”

The two didn’t wait for the officiator to finished before slamming their lips against each other’s, the crowd erupting into applause. Jack’s focus wasn’t on the couple though, his eyes travelled to Penny as she cheered for her older sister. Her eyes met Jack’s, the two of them just staring for a moment before giving each other a smile. It was in the moment that the two decided internally that one day, they wanted to have this moment and say ‘I do’ to one another. Tonight, they decided, would be the night that they would stop being ‘friends.’

.

.

.

The dance floor was empty apart from the newlyweds, holding each other in their arms as they let the music carry their slow steps. They weren’t able to keep their hands off each other since they were married, afraid that if they did then everything would disappear. By the time the first dance ended, the music picked up the pace and everyone was on the dance floor, dancing the night away, congratulating the couple and unafraid to be slightly more than tipsy.

Winter and Riley even threw their bouquets, having their backs turned to make sure it would be a surprise. When they turned round, they saw that Winter’s bouquet was held by one of the bridesmaids, and Riley’s was plopped into Penny’s hands.

“Penny’s gonna marry Jack!” Nina bellowed, she already had too much sugar from the fondue. It didn’t stop everyone whispering knowingly, apart from Riley still giving Jack the evil eye. However, Jack and Penny didn’t mind the teasing this time, after all, even if they didn’t confess yet, their feelings were mutual.

A while later, after dancing, talking and snacking, Jack pulled away from the buzz to get some fresh air on the balcony. He felt his heart take a leap when he saw Penny outside as well, her long hair flowing in the soft spring wind, taking in the quiet. He gently opened the door, trying not to startle her, though it seemed that he didn’t need to worry about that when she turned and noticed him, she must’ve sensed him coming outside.

“Need a break?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, going up to rest his arms on the stone rail, “I was also hoping to see you as well.”

“I guess it’s a win-win situation,” she gently nudged his shoulder with hers. He was glad that he was part of her inner circle of people she was comfortable touching. “So, Riley and Winter are finally married.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t do so sooner,” he reflected the first time Winter brought Riley home, how they would giggle and fawn over each other as Riley was introduced to Winter’s parents, “I felt like I was gonna go insane with how much they made goo-goo eyes at each other.”

“They still do that,” Penny replied, “And I think its gonna amplify now that they’re married.”

“Oh jeez,” he put a hand to his head, listening to Penny’s sweet giggle. He took in the situation at hand, they were on the balcony together talking and having fun with all the space they needed to talk about their feelings. Maybe this was his chance, “Although I will admit, I am a little jealous. It would be pretty nice to have someone to do all that sappy stuff with.”

“O-oh,” Penny was taken aback a little bit, the thought of he and her doing all sorts of couple things rushing through her mind. Wanting to spend all his time with her, holding her hand, whispering sweet nothings when no one was looking. “I wanna do that too, you know, with the right person.”

Jack fiddled with the cuffs on his sleeves, this was it, “And what is the ‘right person’ that you have in mind?”

Penny gulped, okay, now it was getting serious, no turning back. “Well, I’d like him to be funny, kind, respectful to his and my family. Someone who has my back no matter what. Someone who makes sure that I feel like I deserve to be here. Someone who…sees me.”

She said, oh she said it! Did this mean she felt the same, only one way to find out. “Is that so little lady?” he took in her blush and nod, “Well, I bet he’s very handsome, jaw-droppingly if you will.”

Penny’s blush faded as she let out a chortle, “Did I forget to mention he’s full of himself?”

Jack placed his hand dramatically on his chest, “Why Penny how rude! It’s takes guts for someone to admit when they’re good looking.”

“Guts? Or an ego that’s too big to fit his head?” she began to belly laugh at his frown, clutching her sides as she clutched her ribs.

“Oh? Well that’s too bad little lady, I was just about to describe my ‘right’ person,” he chuckled as she straightened back up, “But it you don’t wanna hear it-”

“Alright, you smug bastard,” she sighed fondly, “Tell me, what are they like?”

“Well, let’s see,” he tapped his chin in false thought, “She’s extremely talented, always puts her family first, has one of the cutest laughs in the world.” Taking a chance, he tucked a piece of her hair behind her skin, his skin tingling as he made contact with hers, “Insanely beautiful…who sees me too…and is very short.”

“I will bite you,” Penny snarled, but she held no threat in her tone.

Jack’s face softened, “And, I want to hold her, tell her how much I love her and be with her as long as she lets me.”

Penny’s shivered at his tone, if he were talking about her (and she really hoped he was) then she had to do this next part carefully, “And if you were with this girl right now, how would you tell her about how you feel?”

Jack gulped, time to take the plunge, “I would tell her that I’m not a perfect person, but I am someone who’s always trying. You’ve taken over my mind and have stolen my heart, but I can’t find it in myself to care as long as it’s in your hands.” He took her hands in his at those words, “I just hope that she feels the same way.”

Penny’s heart fluttered, squeezing his hand in return as a swell of joy rushed through her from head to toe, “She does! She really does!”

Jack exhaled sharply, he couldn’t believe it! She likes him back! She wanted to be with him! “I wanna kiss you so badly right now,” he clamped his mouth shut when he realised what came out his mouth. They just confessed and now he was admitting that he wanted to kiss her, and just when he thought he was being smooth.

“Okay,” Penny peered up at him through her lashes.

Jack gaped at her, “Pen, you don’t want to if you don’t want to.”

“Trust me,” she cupped his cheek, “I really want this.” Despite her initial shock, she oh so badly wanted to kiss him back. Ever since the Christmas fair she was unable to spot thinking about his lips on her forehead, or how they would feel on her lips. “Are you gonna keep gawking or do I need to make the first move?” she teased.

Both of his hands were suddenly cupping her cheeks, cutting her off. He gave her one more look, a silent request to do this. When she nodded, he immediately planted his lips on hers. She was so soft, so sweet, so amazing! God he loved her!

She returned the kiss with the same warmth he gave her, with one hand on his cheek she used the other to pull him in closer by the waist. His lips felt the same as they did on her forehead, but somehow so different on her lips. No one ever kissed her like this before, like she really mattered to them. But with Jack, his mouth matched his promise he told to her, and she never wanted him to stop.

They parted for a moment to catch their breaths, grinning as they rested their foreheads together. “So,” she took in another lungful of air, “Does this mean you like me back?”

He smirked, taking her chin between his thumb and finger, “You tell me little lady, or would you rather I show and not tell with another kiss.”

“The second option please,” she grinned back.

He was about to dive back into her lips when a gasp made them both freeze. By the doors, Amber stood with a glass of wine, she was probably out here to get some air as well. “I knew it!” she squealed, “I knew you were gonna confess tonight! Laura owes me ten bucks!”

“Mom!” Penny gasped, clutching herself closer to Jack to save herself from embarrassment.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll keep this between you and me. Besides, this is something that you’ll want to tell Riley by yourself,” Amber added, making both Penny and Jack pale at the thought of her older sister finding out. “Like I said, I’ll keep this to myself. Oh and Penny? Make sure you use the makeup wipes I gave you before you go back inside, the corner of your lip is smudged.”

Penny all but squealed in mortification into Jack’s chest after her mother went back inside, the man stroking her back as he chuckled. “Well, she does have a point,” he mentioned, “We don’t want the first thing that Riley sees when we go back in is smudged lip gloss.”

“Don’t single yourself out mister,” she poked him in the chest, “You’re wearing it too.”

“Oh really? Is it a good colour on me?” He leant in closer.

Penny mumbled shyly under her breath, God she was just too cute. “Wanna say that again little lady?” he asked.

“I said, how about you kiss me again if you like my lip gloss so much,” she pouted, the blush on his face was worth it though.

Jack huffed a laugh and pulled her in closer, “Now that sweetie, can be arranged.”

And just like that, they dove back into another kiss, enjoying only themselves without anyone else to interrupt their moment. It was just them, the moon and the start of their new relationship. And they couldn’t wait to see what else was in store for them.

.

.

.

Jax stirred lightly, stiff from laying against the ground. He must’ve slid down the hedge and onto the plush grass in his sleep, oh well, the grass was comfier. He could feel his lips burn from where Penny kissed Jack, as though he were the one who kissed her. But that was impossible, wasn’t it? There was no way that actually happened.

He was about to move when he felt a light weight on his chest. Looking down, he saw Pomni curled up next to him, hugging his side as she snored softly while using his upper body as a pillow for her head. Why wasn’t he shoving her off or telling her to get lost? Why was he growing flustered by the second and praying that she couldn’t hear his quickening heart rate? He could feel his tail wagging underneath him, was he actually happy about this predicament? There was no way!

He felt her shift beside him, mumbling gibberish in her sleep before cuddling him closer. Cute…wait, no it’s not! Get yourself together Jax! But there wasn’t any denying it though, no matter how much he wanted to, yesterday’s revelation just proved to him that he felt some sort of attachment to the jester and it was driving him up the wall. Her hat had also slid of her head, revealing short yet soft looking locks. The way it framed her face ever so gently with its wisped strands, oh god she was killing him.

He let his temptation win, reaching his hand out to touch it when she suddenly woke up, barely processing what was happening until she saw that she was firmly cuddling into this side while he was reaching towards her. “You got a loose hair there, sweetie,” he tried to squash down the awkwardness, trying to bring up his charm to save himself.

It seemed that it didn’t work as she squealed and pulled away from him as though he burned her, he wasn’t gonna lie, it kind of stung a bit. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t even know that I was doing that!” she fumbled over her words, grabbing her hat and screaming into it.

“It’s fine,” he sighed, standing up and stretching. “We should keep going, make use of the time we have.”

Pomni looked up, still clutching her hat. She was glad that he wasn’t mad, but why wasn’t he? If it were anyone else she was shore he would have told them to get lost, why did he leave her be? Her dream from last night made this moment even more flustering for her, the memory of Jack kissing Penny with such passion was burned into the back of her mind and the minute she woke up she was cuddling into Jax! The universe had to be out to get her.

“Hey, you awake in there?” he pointed to her forehead, “I said we should keep going.”

“W-what?” oh right, they still had to get out of the maze. The long…long maze, “Yeah, I’m coming.”

It seemed that the awkward silence had carried over from last night during their trek through the winding paths, neither of them not knowing what to say and their dreams invading every single thought they had. But besides the kiss, Jax thought of the family that brought Jack into their home. They shared no blood but treated him as though he were their son, making sure he was fed, happy and safe despite the occasional teasing. His mind drifted to Laura, how she cared for each one of her children, with the care and love that a mother should, it made him think of…

He looked to Pomni, who also seemed to be deep in thought, he made sure that she wouldn’t bump into anything. He felt bad for snapping at her yesterday, and the words she said to him afterwards cut deep. It was the first time in so long that someone called him out in a way that hollowed him to his core, to just step back and really think. Maybe that was what he needed. “Do you remember yesterday when Caine mentioned I used to know someone?” he spoke up.

Pomni’s head snapped up to him, his voice drowning out the deafening silence they stewed in for quite some time. “Y-yeah, why?”

“Well, when I arrived,” he started, “I remember that I didn’t know anything about my past, I was stuck in a body I didn’t know and all I could remember feeling was regret and fear. I acted a lot like a wounded animal, just screaming at people to stay away. It worked on everyone…except for Queenie.”

Pomni gasped, she had heard of Queenie and seen her door crossed off. The unsaid implication of her abstraction was what chilled Pomni’s spine, no one had to say anything to know what happened to her, but she never realised Jack was close to her.

“Well, she was the only one who wasn’t really phased by me,” he continued, “She made sure that I wasn’t alone, told me the stuff to look out for and sometimes Kinger would join her with helping me out, it’s strange to think about, back then he was more sane than he is now. I won’t lie, there were times that I was a little sh77t, but I’m grateful that she was willing to help me out. It helped me feel less scared, and sometimes I wondered if I had a mother in my past life that was like Queenie. But soon, I started seeing less and less of Queenie, everyone was starting to get worried. Any time we would see her she was always talking about an exit. I was also looking for one as well, collecting keys hoping that one of them would lead to an exit. One day, I told her about and maybe she could use on of them so it could help her mission…the next day she abstracted. Kinger was never the same after that, I wasn’t really sure if those two were together or not, but it was obvious how strong their bond was. Ever since then he started rambling about his ‘insect collection,’ I don’t know if it was to distract him from the grief or if it was a factor of him going crazy. All I knew was if I didn’t give Queenie that key, she would still be here. If I didn’t try and escape, Kinger would still have his sanity left. It’s better that everyone hates me, all I am is this a%%hole rabbit who killed their oldest friend. It’s no wonder they hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Pomni said, making him turn to her, “That situation wasn’t your fault, it was just an awful place in time that no one could control. And I don’t think the others hate you too, I mean, did you even ask them?”

Jax sighed, “No, my mind just immediately believed that everyone hated me. Honestly, I wanted them to, it’ll make things a bit easier.”

“Yeah,” Pomni nodded, before paling at her word choice, “Not about everyone hating you, I meant about making things easier. Facing the bad stuff is scary, when I first got here I denied that this was real and that it was a dream. But at the end of it all, I had to accept that this was my reality, even if I didn’t like it. But I’m not gonna let it stop me from trying to leave, don’t let what happened to Queenie stop you from thinking that you deserve to be hated, you don’t. Maybe the others won’t forgive you immediately, but you can at least make a start.”

“We’ll see,” he gave her a soft grin, she was smiling back proudly. It was starting to get a bit too mushy now, so he pushed her hat over her eyes.

“Hey!” she squealed, she didn’t seem to mind that. She readjusted her hat and crossed her arms, “Really?”

“This is me we’re taking about. Besides, it was too easy Pom-pom,” he chuckled as she let out a groan.

“You’re not funny,” she walked up ahead, keeping the banter afloat as they continued to travel.

“No, I’m hilarious,” he retorted, “It’s not my fault you’re so uncultured short stack.”

She whipped back round at him with a pretend offended expression, “I’m not short!”

“Okay,” Jax snickered, “Come back to me about that were you grow 2 inches.”

She groaned dramatically, “You’re the worst!”

“True,” he picked her up as she let out a yip and placed her on his shoulders, “And I also have longer legs, I’ll get us to the exit faster.”

“Hey!” Pomni giggled, holding onto his head, “Put me down you giant!”

“But I need you to be my second pair of eyes short stack,” he patted her leg, “Just point out if you see anything and I’ll be your steering wheel.”

Despite the light teasing, she knew he was right, they would find the exit to the maze quicker if they worked like this, “Fine!...tall ass.”

“Say that again?” he quired.

“Nothing!” Pomni said.

Jax shrugged and continued walking. After a while, it seemed that the awkwardness had finally died down, leaving the two to engage in light conversations while searching for the exit. It was then they realised that they had forgotten about their dreams, not fully but they were so focused on one another, enjoying one another, they didn’t find the time to really think about them.

It still took them a bit of time, but eventually, to both of their relief and slight disappointment, they found the exit, the circus tent just down the path in front of them. Pomni jumped off Jax’s shoulders, there was no need for him to keep carrying down that they were back.

“I guess that marks the end of this adventure,” Pomni rubbed her arm, was she upset that this was over? Or was she upset that she couldn’t spend time with Jax anymore?              

“Yeah, the end,” Jax nodded, as much as he didn’t want to be part of this little maze escapade, he’ll admit it, it was better with Pomni being here. In fact, he wouldn’t mind being around her more often. “You know, I’ve noticed that whenever you’re on your own, you’re either hyper focused on every single little thing to the point where it stresses you out of your in your own little world while dissociating. Sometimes you’re so in your head that you fail to notice when someone’s coming right at ya. Whether it be Caine with one of his adventures or one of the others fooling around.”

“That tends to happen a lot,” she confessed, “It’s either one or the either, there’s not an in between. It’s kinda a problem.”                               

“Well, I have a proposition for you,” he said, she perked up, “Until you feel like you understand this place a little more, I’ll be there to make you don’t have one of your episodes. Whether you’re spiralling or hyper focusing, I’ll be here to ground you in case that happens.”           

“Really?” her eyes widened with joy at his offer, “You’d do that for me?”

“Just until you’re more aware of your surroundings,” he told her, “After all, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Ah, right,” she gave him a joking grin, “We wouldn’t want anything to happen to that.”

“See, now you’re getting it,” he agreed, returning her grin.

The way he was leaning in, the way her heart sped up at their newly found teasing of each other, the way that the sense of déjà vu kept creeping in as though they had done this song and dance before. She ready did fall for him, didn’t she? She cleared her throat, “Well, good to know you’ve got my back, thank you again Jax. We should head in so no one’s worrying about us.”

“Works for me,” he nodded, his face suddenly becoming gentler, “And, you’re welcome.”

Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush. “Race you inside!” she zoomed off, leaving the rabbit to laugh to himself.

“She sure is something else, huh?” he said to himself, his thoughts flooding with her again, he didn’t to anything to spot it, only letting it flow.

Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pen-

“Jax! You coming?” Pomni called out to him.

He blinked, what was that? What was his last thought about? He looked towards Pomni, suddenly forgetting that sudden glitch as he raced towards her, wanting to challenge the jester that captured his affections. “Are you sure sweetie?” he ran in her direction, “My longer legs might be more effective than yours short stack!”

“I’ll make you eat those words!” she snickered as he chased after her.

It was just a glitch.

Only a glitch.

#spoilers it was not just a 'glitch' #the amazing digital circus #tadc #pomni #jax #ragatha #zooble #kinger #gangle #caine #pomnijax #funnybunny #my writing #dragon rambles #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #Instagram #pomni x jax

[dreamwritesimagines]

Enamored Extra Scene - 12

[Set in: During and post chapter 32]

He woke up well rested that morning for the first time in months, perhaps years.

It was as if hope was making his heart too big for his chest, the happiness only she was able to give him surrounding him, making even the sunlight look brighter.

He whistled a tune as he walked down the hall, his plan for the rest of the day crystal clear in his mind. Duke Avon had forbidden every suitor from ever walking into his house, not to mention if he did announce his intentions of courting her in her house, only a couple of people would know but—

It wasn’t what he wanted.

He wanted every single member of the ton know.

He walked past the drawing room but then stopped dead in his tracks, took a deep breath and walked inside. Lady Danbury was sitting with her mother while Hyacinth and Gregory were by the corner, arguing about something. The rest of his siblings were probably by the garden or in their own rooms, with the exception of Eloise who had left right after breakfast to meet with Penelope.

“Lady Danbury,” he bowed. “Mother.”

“Anthony.”

“How have you been Anthony?” Lady Danbury said. “Since the last time we talked?”

“I’ve been great Lady Danbury, thank you.”

“You seem to be on better terms with your one and only,” she commented with a slight smile and Anthony nodded fervently.

“We are,” he said. “I actually…I want to let you know before the rest of the ton hears.”

“Let us know what?”

A grin curled his lips as the memory of last night hit him and he cleared his throat.

“I asked her for her hand in courtship, and she said yes.”

His mother gasped and Lady Danbury’s smile widened.

“Is that right?” she said. “Well, that’s certainly good news. I’ve heard she has been relentlessly turning down suitors.”

Not me, Anthony wanted to say, Not me, we’re in love.

“Anthony, when did you ask her?” her mother asked. “You must tell me everything!”

“I’m actually in a little hurry—”

“Anthony, you’re not going anywhere without telling me when it happened.”

He didn’t even think about it as the words left his lips: “Last night.”

Oh God damn it-

Lady Danbury pulled back slightly and her mother raised her brows.

“I’m sorry?”

“At Vauxhall,” Anthony added in a haste. “Last night at Vauxhall.”

Lady Danbury tilted her head. “And surely, Lord Bridgerton, you two were chaperoned?”

Well…

Technically they were. It just happened that their chaperone had walked away to give them privacy, something Anthony would forever be in Cecily’s debt for.

“Oh of course,” Anthony said. “Cecily—I mean Lady Westcliff was present.”

His mother pressed a hand over her chest.

“Anthony, I’m so happy for both of you,” she said. “Finally!”

“Finally indeed,” Lady Danbury said. “Though judging by the look on his face Violet, I don’t think we should keep him here long. Young lovers are rarely known for their patience.”

Anthony let a smile warm his face before he bowed and took a step to the door, then turned around.

“And thank you,” he said, “For everything. I appreciate everything you’ve done in these last months.”

“Let’s hope you never need it again,” Lady Danbury said and shot him a knowing smile. “Can we trust you to handle the rest then? I mean I’m guessing there is a reason why ladies are fond of your presence aside from your looks?”

He tried not to smirk. “You can.”

“But,” Lady Danbury added as a thought hit her and she raised her brows at him. “I trust that love didn’t make you forget about your responsibilities Lord Bridgerton; she’s not going to be too fond of your presence before marriage.”

He blinked a couple of times, his ears burning. This was definitely not a conversation he wanted to have with Lady Danbury or his mother for that matter, so he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Of course,” he managed to say, taking a step back. “Have a lovely day, Lady Danbury. Mother.”

“Anthony wait,” his mother said when he got to the door. “Lord Avon doesn’t accept any suitors to the house, how will you…?”

“I have a plan!” he called out and left the drawing room, then made his way downstairs to walk out of the house. He approached the carriage, the coachman rushing to open the door for him.

“Where to, my lord?”

“The nearest florist,” he said. “Thank you.”

                                                  *

Even though he wanted to go to the Avon House to see her after ordering the flowers to be delivered to her, he knew he couldn’t. He was supposed to be patient, as Cecily kept telling him, but…

He wasn’t sure how long he could go without seeing her beautiful face.

Coming to the gentlemen’s club for a distraction hadn’t worked at all. He was sitting there with a glass of whiskey, unaware of his surroundings, the chatter almost muffled as his thoughts slipped to her once again, wondering what she was doing right now.

It was only when he heard his name being called that he snapped out of the haze and he raised his glances to the owner of the voice.

David.

He had attended Oxford with him and Elias, and even though they weren’t very close, they tended to have a chat here and there, having known each other for so long.

“May I?” he motioned at the seat across from his and Anthony nodded.

“Sure.”

“Thanks,” he said and sat down. “How are you?”

“I’m good, you?”

“Eh, not bad,” he said. “I heard you’re courting the infamous nymph?”

He wanted to strangle Sinclair for that goddamn poem, but managed to keep his expression calm as he lifted his glass slightly.

“That’s right.”

“Anthony,” David said. “That girl rejects everyone.”

“Her father and brother do.”

“She rejected Sinclair, she rejected Allard—”

“Her father rejected Allard,” Anthony corrected him and David shrugged.

“That’s not what I heard,” he said. “How do you know?”

“I was in the room,” he lied easily. “Me and Eli.”

David sipped his own drink.

“Either way…” he muttered. “I mean don’t get me wrong, she’s very beautiful, but—”

“Whatever you’re planning to say,” Anthony cut him off, anger boiling inside him. “Think again.”

David held up his hands, gesturing surrender. “You are her suitor, Anthony. Not her husband.”

Not yet.

“And as her suitor, I will not let anyone disrespect her,” Anthony said tersely and David chuckled.

“Alright, alright…” he said. “I was just going to tell you what I said to my brother when he wanted to court her. She’s picky.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being picky,” he said and tilted his head. “Your brother wanted to court her?”

“Wilfred, yes.”

Anthony held back a laugh. “Well, tell Wilfred it wouldn’t have happened anyway.”

“Mmm, because you’re in the picture?” David asked with a smirk. “You’re that secure of your standing?”

“I am actually.”

“Good for you man,” he said and stood up. “I still have to ask Elias sometime though. You know how it goes. Wilfred would ask but he’s kind of intimidated by the possibility of rejection.”

Anthony tried not to roll his eyes. “Oh Elias will reject,” he said. “But sure.”

“May the best man win,” David said and walked away from him, making him grit his teeth.

It wasn’t like he had expected anything different. As much as Anthony wanted to punch David, he was right; she could and would have other suitors while they were courting. The way ton saw it, until they were engaged to be wed, there was nothing wrong with a lady having multiple options to choose from.

But she loved him. She had accepted his courtship, accepted his love token, told him nothing could make her happier just last night. He was the one who got to hold her in his arms, inhale her enchanting scent, see her blinding smile.

Not any of those other suitors.

Him.

He was beginning to think he wouldn’t let her leave the marital bed as soon as they got married, rest of the ton be damned. He would keep her there for his gaze, for his touch, for—

“Did you buy the flower shop?”

Elias’s voice made his head shoot up, the fuzzy daydream disappearing almost immediately from his mind. His best friend sat down to slouch on the seat, grabbing the bottle and the spare glass to fill it.

Anthony grinned. “Did she like them?”

Elias grumbled what sounded like a curse under his breath and tilted his glass in his direction.

“Aren’t you going to ask if I liked them?”

Anthony pulled his brows together. “Uh…did you like them?”

“No,” Elias said. “You know why? Because there are too many! My drawing room look like a garden thanks to you.”

“But did she like them?” Anthony insisted and Elias rolled his eyes.

“Oh she loved them,” he said. “She was all giggly and planning where to put them in her room while I was leaving. That being said, I hate you so much right now.”

Anthony kicked at his boot, still grinning. “Oh don’t be like that Eli, I’m courting your sister.”

“I swear to God…”

“We should get along well.”

“I will get along well with you in hell—look at me, I’m rhyming like Sinclair now. Do you see what you’ve done, you prick? Do you?”

Anthony shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve always known you had it in you to be a terrible poet, to be honest.”

Elias narrowed his eyes at him and sipped his drink.

“Even I have to admit though,” he trailed off. “That was a good way of letting everyone know without stepping a foot into the house as a suitor. Too bad my father didn’t think about that when he said no suitors allowed.”

Anthony hummed. “What does he think about this?”

“My father?” Elias asked. “Well, you’re courting his only daughter, you are a rake—”

“A reformed rake,” Anthony corrected him and Elias scoffed.

“Whatever. You two already had an argument about her and you know, considering everything that happened in these two months…I think he hates you even more than before,” Elias smirked at him and slapped his leg. “Things are not going to be easy for you, my friend.”

Anthony swirled the drink in his glass and stole a look at him.

“And you?”

“Will it make any difference?” he asked with a small smile, “Would you stop if I said I hated it?”

“Not really,” Anthony admitted. “Eli, I would die for you but when it comes to her, I won’t let anyone stand in my way.”

“I can’t decide whether to be proud or offended,” Elias mused and Anthony chuckled.

“That being said,” he said. “I’d like to know if there’s anything I can do to make you hate it less. Other than proving myself to her.”

Elias thought for a moment, then shrugged his shoulders.

“I do hate it a little,” he said. “But also I… don’t mind it, you know what I mean?”

Anthony bit down a smile and nodded.

“Yeah,” he said. “I think I do.”

Elias sipped his drink and lowered the glass. “I need you to know something though.”

Anthony frowned slightly. “Yes?”

“You’ve been my best friend since we were little and I would die for you as well,” he said. “But when it comes to my sister, things change. So if you ever do anything to hurt her, I swear to God I will fucking shoot you, do you understand?”

Anthony nodded. “Crystal clear,” he said. “Don’t worry. That will never happen again Eli, I promise you.”

Elias heaved a sigh and clinked his glass with his.

“Glad to hear that,” he said. “Man, I still can’t believe you sent a goddamn forest to my house, in love you is so irritating.”

Anthony let out a laugh and pulled out a cigar from the small box on the table, then lit it.

“Learned that from you,” he said. “Before I forget, you remember David right?”

“From Oxford? Yes.”

“His brother wants to speak to you about her. David told me on his behalf.”

“Why didn’t you turn him down on my behalf indirectly on my sister’s behalf?” Elias asked and Anthony exhaled the smoke.

“I’m a suitor now as well Eli,” he reminded him, making him frown.

“Yeah but you’re also a family friend.”

“Doesn’t matter, I can’t do that anymore,” he said. “So I’d keep it short with him at the masquerade if I were you.”

Elias nodded. “Thanks,” he said. “Jesus Christ, this masquerade…”

“Who are you going as, again?”

“Adonis,” he said. “To Cece’s Aphrodite. I think it fits perfectly. She’s a goddess and I’m a mortal. A very handsome mortal, but a mortal nonetheless.”

Anthony grinned. “And you have the guts to call me irritating, huh?”

“You are.”

“Any chance you will tell me—”

“Who she’s going as?” Elias finished his question for him and let out a laugh. “I’m not trying to die young and leave Cece a widow, thank you very much. My sister would kill me if I told you.”

“But you know.”

“Oh yes I know,” Elias tilted his head. “It’s quite unusual to be honest, but it will be interesting to see everyone’s reaction. Including yours.”

Anthony shot him a look and Elias’s grin widened.

“Patience, Lord Bridgerton,” he taunted him. “It’s about time you learned what that is.”

#enamored extra scene #Anthony bridgerton x reader #bridgerton

[alangdorf]

Welp, the ref lineup still isn’t done cause I haven’t drawn Shion yet, and the belated valentines I’ve been working on are gonna be like at least a month late cause I just planned three more, but what I did do these past couple weeks is start writing a fanfic and then immediately abandon it to go draw a bunch of only tangentially-related suzutsubas (except for that first pic; that’s a scene from it, albeit one I haven’t written yet), only half of which are fit for public posting (one of ‘em I could make a few edits and feel ok about posting sometime; it’s not that out there, it’s just, y’know. Hamal Cine Bad End Hyperbolic Torture Chamber. I’m usually very “whatever happens happens” about my art but if I don’t show some restraint I know I’ll end up stuck in there forever), but hey, since I’ve been teasing them for ages and finally have some finished stuff with them, take a couple Suzumii! Also gonna ramble abt headcanons under the cut (and it will be LONG)

To begin, a note abt my Len’en gender/pronoun headcanons: as a they/them preferrer myself, I’m thrilled that most people just stick with those for everyone, but I’ve developed some more detailed headcanons as I go through working on designs and I’ll generally be using those. Don’t worry though, most of them are still nonbinary and basically all of them are trans/gq. Relevant ones for this post are Tsubakura: they/them nonbinary (transmasc to some degree) and Suzumi: cis female, question mark?? (to be elaborated on); for clarity’s sake I usually use she/her for Arde and Hamal Cine individually and plural they for the system collectively (also I don’t usually use their nicknames, dunno why), but singular they for Benet (the wiki says Benny is probably short for Benetnasch so I’m assuming that’s their actual name) for reasons which will also be elaborated on (sort of).

Aaalso this clearly isn’t autobiographical or anything but I think I’m subconsciously putting a lot of myself into Suzumi because 1) we do look pretty similar (brown wavy bob + blue eyes) and 2) given their current status as both the main antagonist and the most well-known plural Len’en character (I get the impression that Hooaka also being plural isn’t super common knowledge; I mean it took me several read-throughs of their wiki page and their dialogue with BPoHC Secret Team to get what they were getting at lol) I am probably way too anxious about doing a bad stereotype. Just an observation and also probably partially why I’ve even ended up with so much headcanon for them in the first place

And before I get into the thick of it, notes on derivations from canon: I’m running with the assumption that Suzumi being a system is a relatively recent development tied to whatever incident it was that caused the falling-out, since Tsubakura is like the only person who seems at all familiar with Hamal (including Mitori/Chouki/Fumikado, but they’re more easily explained away as just having met with one of the other alters the few times they’ve interacted) even though she’s supposedly usually the one fronting. They don’t seem to know the mechanics of it though, judging by their confusion when Arde implied that she and Hamal are different people. So basically, I’ll be referring to pre-incident Suzumi as a different character from any of the other three. (Ngl I am very influenced by Dissociation Constant on that and just in general [when will my wife The One and Only Suzutsuba Fic return from the war…..]) I was also debating whether to have Suzumi have any history with the gang before starting to work at the lab/whether stuff would happen around high school or college age, cause they keep referring to everything happening “a long time ago” and I know I, a 24-year-old, feel like stuff that happened five years ago was like yesterday, but I do have the pandemic and not really doing much of anything for most of that time to reckon with so like, eh. College age makes more sense in my head and so does the dynamic of like, Suzumi was only introduced into the friend group (she was acquainted w Hoojiro and Yabu already though bc lab) because she was dating Tsubakura and since that ended, and badly (understatement of the century), they have extremely little reason to be civil with each other and also interacting at all is really awkward.

Ok now on with it! Either end of high school or beginning of college, Suzumi ends up interning at Tsubakura’s lab for college credit (Tsuba’s already practically a department head despite being like 17 or something because. Idk. Who even knows what’s up with them) and she’s like. Only wears t-shirts and jeans (bought a bunch of khakis for this job though), [reading] glasses from the men’s section, hates leaving her hair down (it’s lab safety anyways). Repressed queer in denial, you know the type. Starts interacting a lot with Mx. Tsubakura “wears short shorts that everybody thinks are actually a skirt and also uses ore and omae almost exclusively” Enraku who seems to have everything all figured out and is immediately starstruck (GIRL WHY?? they are such a mess). Lots of “do I want to date them or do I want to be them” confusion (this will be relevant later); eventually evolves into the “am I trans or just a lesbian” question (not that they would need to be attracted to women to be into Tsubakura but you get the picture), which never quite gets answered.

In any case, they do eventually start dating (Tsubakura thinks she’s cute and smart so they reciprocate), and they’re not like super great together cause Tsubakura is emotionally constipated at the best of times (Suzumi’s into that though) and neither of them are the most mentally/emotionally healthy people even back then and also Tsubakura is more or less Suzumi’s boss which is weird, but they’re kind of ok??? Tsubakura’s mom dies at some point, also they move in together (college housing is expensive), the rest of the crew at the very least tolerate Suzumi, etcetera.

And then…! [insert catastrophic event here]!! I don’t have a shot to call on this yet cause I have no idea what it could’ve been (and I’m sure it’ll get revealed at some point anyways); I’m just banking on it being something extremely not mundane and something where you could reasonably set the blame on either (or neither) party cause they sure both seem convinced the other is way worse, huh! In Tsubakura’s case at least, blaming Suzumi is partially a defense mechanism so their self-loathing doesn’t get the better of them over it (guess what the fic was supposed to be about, lol).

The worst part of all this business though is that they DON’T break up over it immediately and it just makes everything orders of magnitude worse for everyone involved. Tsubakura and Arde have hate sex MORE THAN ONCE………… they would both really rather forget about it. Hamal thinks it’s hilarious, ofc, but the less said about her, the better. And Benet… exists??? The only idea that I’m running off of for them atm is the observation that I think they’re the only character with flat black eyes other than Tsubakura/Tsurubami and the subsequent idle thought, “hey if someone malded so hard about a breakup that they ended up with an introject of their ex would that be messed up or what?” So make of that what you will. (Oh and it may have been obvious that this is what I was going for but Hamal is femme and Arde is butch and they’re constantly squabbling abt aesthetic presentation. Having Arde be straight-up male would’ve been too straightforward of an interpretation and I think it’s funnier this way)

The canonically mentioned murder attempts start taking place and I’m leaning towards Tsubakura eventually being convinced to move out even though it was originally their apartment, albeit mostly just because the wikipedia page for house sparrows mentions that they’re known to take over swallows’ nests, usually after they’ve been abandoned, but they will sometimes drive away or kill the current occupants, and that was a very fun fact to come across when specifically doing research for Len’en but idk how else to incorporate it lol. And so on and so forth up until the present time.

Uhhh is that all I have atm? I think so! Anyway, I think I finally shook out all my suzutsuba doodles (and rambling, though I do still have that fic to work on. idk whether I’ll be able to finish it though; I started strong with an extended metaphor in the middle but Iiiii’m not sure if I can successfully write my way up to it while making it make sense. Also I may draw pretty slow but I write even slower!! Eh I’m sure I’ll post some of it sometime) for the time being so I should theoretically be able to finish up my bigger projects now. Maybe I’ll have the valentines ready in time for white day? We’ll see!

#art #len’en #tsubakura enraku #suzumi kuzu #suzutsuba #btw sorry if that’s like not the right ship name lol I saw like one person use it but there’s not much in the tag but that might just be #bcuz ppl don’t seem to make much for it anyways #digital #I should probably ask for len’en discord recommendations sometime soon just given the Circumstances #namely if tumblr actually goes down the drain but also so my little sister doesn’t have to keep watching me have a mental breakdown live #(hi Val!!) #briefly looked into the wiki’s server but that has A THOUSAND MEMBERS?? scary….. #ough FINALLY this post took me like a full day to write #also of note: these are essentially silly little doodles and I got kind of lazy with them #and I still don’t know how to draw Tsubakura’s hat or hair….. #idk why I’ve been having so much trouble differentiating how I draw Suzumi and Tsubakura’s hair but I have and it’s weird

[wanderfan2000]

The Depression - WanderFan2000′s Side of The Story

Before I get started with this, I need to say for the sake of my viewers. What I’m about to talk about is MY side of this Tumblr drama that’s been going on around here regarding me and my love for the Wander Over Yonder episode, “The Lonely Planet”.  Keep in mind when I first read the post, I felt depression, flabbergasted and shock all take me over. I couldn’t shake it off and it still continues to take me over this morning. So, without further ado, let’s begin with…

“Why do I have depression?” you might ask. Well, I’ll explain…

I was looking at the “Wander Over Yonder” tag like I always do when I came across a post written by a fellow tumblr blogger, it involved a question with highlighted words as I clicked on it, I never thought I’d find myself in the MIDDLE of a Tumblr drama war.

The story in particular was all about my countless obsession with “The Lonely Planet.” It even included pictures of questions I told some other WOY fan about the episode and how I wanted them to draw fan art of the episode. Then I started reading more, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing… 

The blogger was explaining how the lonely planet artwork, the questions, everything related to said episode was basically just a giant huge pot of NSFW content and many other things. I didn’t quite understand it, but once I did, shock and depression took over my body. 

Now that I’ve gotten the backstory out of the way, let me explain MY SIDE of the story…

First of all, everyone should know that I would NEVER in my lifetime do ANYTHING to harm Wander, he’s a character who I love and will love forever. I clearly don’t understand why on earth the Wander fandom wants to go against me, especially after seeing what I have been doing regarding my fan artwork of a sentient talking planet we’ve only seen in ONE episode and especially, the thing about me not giving a hoot about the opinion! 

But there’s no need to attack me or say anything about it. Just because I’m obsessed with an episodes of Wander that involve him getting captured by a lonely, sentient planet who ties him up with plant vines DOESN’T mean that I obsess with these episodes MORE than the entire series. I love the WOY series as a whole, each episode is unique and special in their own way, plus I always get a laugh out of a lot of them.  Now, lemme talk about my art work of Wander and Janet: 

One thing I’d like to point out that whenever I draw Wander and Janet together nowadays, I draw them as Forever Friends. Because I like to think that Janet enjoys loving over Wander as a friend rather than trying to force him to love her. NTM, she has Maurice as her husband now.  Now I understand that a lot of folks aren’t fans of the whole “plant vines tying around Wander’s wrists ofc, many of them aren’t fan of the vines touching his face ether”. In fact, in a deleted storyboard, there was going to be a scene where Wander was completely surrounded by plant vines. It even mentions that the vines were going to be stroking his face. This never made it into the final episode, tho. Thank grop, I can’t even imagine what the fandom would’ve done with THAT. 

But anyway, the plant vines in all my fanart for this episode aren’t stroking Wander at all, they are cuddling him sweetly. (Well, in Janet’s defense.) Because the vines love him just like Janet loves her forever friend. 

Yes, I know it’s a lot to take in, but I wanted to express my feelings for what I do whenever I draw fanart for Janet. 

Listen, guys, I apologize for any convenience that my artwork, questions and screenshots centered around this episode have made you all uncomfortable. But you need to keep in mind that it is still based on the episode with a different twist: Janet is now obsessed with having Wander as her FRIEND, NOT keeping him as her lover. I mean, sure, I draw artwork based on what happened in the actual episode, but it’s fun to draw something different that Janet can obsess with Wander.  The thing is I don’t want you to view me as a bad person, especially someone who you think is obsessive with fetish. But I am NOT OBSESSED WITH ANY OF THAT! I don’t want to draw A N Y T H I N G that could cause a problem in the fandom. 

Also, the artwork that I draw of The Lonely Planet in particular, talking about it, screenshots I share, I keep all of this FRIENDLY! I don’t want them to be viewed as “NSFW” content because I would NEVER do anything to upset you guys out there, you are all my FRIENDS and I LOVE all of you! 

So, please, don’t block me just because of my obsession. I’m a friendly person who wants to love everyone I meet on here. I’m sorry if the thing I did made everyone upset and uncomfortable. I won’t do it again. 

- WanderFan2000 

#If you made it this far congratulations

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy

We didn’t even manage to stay together for a whole month. How's this supposed to work with with N. & me? We're having a Baby soon. That means, I’m forever bound to him, whether I want it or not. But I wanted him! Maybe if I didn’t love him and didn’t care about him, it would have been easier? I wanted to make it work with us, but N. broke up with me. 😭... I think, Nico was actually right? This became clear to me, 2 weeks after he dumped me. I sat at my desk, to study for my exam. As I tried to concentrate, I noticed that Daniel’s photos above my desk distracted me.. Why can’t I just take Daniel’s photos off that damn wall to put them away, I asked myself?... The last days I’ve been thinking about, what’s wrong with me, bcs everyone’s letting me down. Now I got my answer! The moment I thought about all this, I was ashamed of myself! I let it happen again. 2 Men, you know? Agh, somehow I had to puke? 🙄🤮...... Was probably my first pregnancy nausea. I was to slow. Instead of puking in the toilet, I throw up next to it. Well, near-miss is still a miss! 🤦‍♀️

I have to file for divorce, I told myself. I can’t go on like this forever. D. was gone! But loved him, sm. 💔Still, I had to end this! No matter what happens to Nico and me, I had to draw a line,  to finally accept that.... Daniel and I failed.😞

Back to the fight between N. and me 2 weeks ago. After finishing the conversation with my Grams, I went over to my bedroom. Nico was waiting for me. I was still thinking about my Grama and her twins... I started to tell Nico about it, but he didn’t listen to me? His phone buzzed. Constantly! I was annoyed, you know. I asked him, to put it away. But Nico didn’t react! So I went closer to him... I wanted to know what distracted him? He knew I was standing right next to him! I thought he’d try to hide his phone from me, to prevent me from seeing what he was doing? But he was totally relaxed. This encouraged me, to take a look at it. Damn, I saw Stephanie!! She sent him her fucking selfies. 😡

Me: You lied to me! You didn’t break up with her!

Nico: I didn't lie! I, don't lie!!! ... Hm, I need to change my number. 😕... But I swear, it's OVER!

Me: Prove it! Text her back! Tell her, you never want to see her again and you’re sick of her.

Nico: She already knows that! She knows I love you! She saw it herself! She saw us together. Or did you forget?

Me: She didn't saw us togehter! The only thing she noticed, is that I cried and left your apartment! You, didn't give shit about that! You didn’t try to stop me! And that’s exactly what she saw & noticed! ... You still fall for her pityscam.

Nico: No, I don't...😞😞...

Me: What happend to you, N.? I don't recognize you like this ... Why are you such a candy-ass with her?... Where is that mad asshole you used to be?

Nico: I don't want to be mad 😞 ... Come to me, babe. I wanna hug you.

Me: ???😦 ... NO! Get off me! Don't touch me!

Nico: I told you what I want and expect from you! You have to trust me!

Me: Did you expect or demand the same from Stephanie too? Or are you just playing your crazy mind games with me?

Nico: I’m honest! I demand those... certain things, only from you! I told you I chose you! But I see you still don’t quite understand me. That’s why you’re gonna listen to me now and do what I say. I feel like you’re not taking me seriously.

Me: Are you kidding???

Nico: Why would I kid you?... Agh, whatever! What interests me far more is.... Why are Daniel’s photos still hanging around here?

Me: I wanted to put them away! But Dilek was here. We were studying. And... I didn’t want her asking me stupid questions about D., so I didn’t do it in front of her.

Nico: You're always thinking up excuses, babe... Sit down! And listen to me well!...... I'll go. I don’t want to! Honestly not! But you leave me no choice....

Me: Are you ending this? Us?

Nico: Let me finish! When I’m done, you can talk.

Me: You got a lot of nerve, talking to me like this. You know?... You’re only leaving me, bcs Stephanie threatened to hurt herself or something.🙁😢

Nico: You don't get it!... It’s not about her! She’s with her parents! I don’t care what she does. She’s not my responsibility anymore. Agh, anyway! It’s no use debating for hours. I take off! You need to learn and understand me.

Me: And.... what about our Baby? You’re letting me down on this thing? It’s your Baby! You have to take care of your child too. That’s not fair that everything sticks to me while you continue to enjoy your freedom and your life. I thought I could rely on you...I always fall for the same shit.

Nico: I won’t let you & our Baby down. I keep my word, I’ll do my best for her or him. Just... you and I, won’t be together. But I’m here until september. I can support you in everything you need for our Baby.

Me: Sure. Like... Isabella & Philip did, right? I get why Isabella took off! Philip is an ass, just like you! 😠.... 🙁

Nico: I’m not like P.! But I don't want to say any more... just one thing! If you love me and want us to be together, as it should be! Get a divorce finally! Cut it with D.! Alone. Without me!... As soon as you get the divorce petition in writing, you’ll get me back, if you still want to. Your parents know about us. I even talked to your Dad. They all know about our Baby. There are no more excuses to postpone or wait for divorce. But you don’t care, you’re doing absolutely nothing to move this thing forward. Instead, you want to see Daniel’s brother. Anyway, do what feels right for you. I said what I had to say.

Me: I understand 🙁 .... but.. please don't go! Stay with me. I'm gonna do what you said.

Nico: I don't want to, but...agh, damn it!.. I have to go, or you won’t change anything. Don’t disappoint me! Do the right thing. I trust you! You come back to me, I know that. But now, I have to leave you alone. I'm so sorry. 🙁🤦‍♂️

He left! 😨In his.... sleepwear. I swear! Nico left in his shorts and a shirt. But okay, he just got in his car. He didn't have to take the subway or anything. I wasn’t feeling well afterwards. I had a killer Dejavu! It felt like when he left me a year ago... He said he talked to my Dad. Did my Dad talk Nico into some shit again?... However, I have to end my marriage to... finish this chapter and move on. 😞I also noticed that I never stopped loving N. I still loved him, as I did then. Now I was in love with two men again. I know, that sounds good to some. I’ve been asked a few times, why I complain about it? But trust me, it doesn’t feel good, it........hurts. We're running in circles, hurting each other, though we don’t want or intend to, it still happens....all the time.

Previous/Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #myrlgameplay #cw pregnancy

[mr-laveau]

Redacted-tober 2023 - Christian - Bridging - Day 19

Tags: Prissy(Christian/Alexis), Christian is Aromantic but doesn't know it, Alexis references Sam a little bit, FUCK canon I decide what the dolls are characterized as Christian cannot remember the last time he bridged with another person. 

That was a lie. He could, actually, it was with Amanda but at the same time, it wasn’t. Wait-no, he never bridged with Amanda.

She wanted to, but halfway through their only ever process of trying, Christian pulled away. Amanda said it was ok and that she understood but he could see the look on her face when it happened, and he could almost feel what she was thinking as her very expression danced on the bare nerves under his skin. She felt hurt. He really didn’t mean to and he did try, but something in him couldn’t reach that last step. Which was in fact, incredibly strange, because he’d bridged with people before. He’d done it with the rest of the security team, even Asher (and he found that guy insufferable sometimes), and that’s what made him confused. Why couldn’t he do that with Amanda? That question played on his mind for so long because it didn’t make sense. He had loved Amanda, he said it all the time, he knew it too, and for fuck’s sake he slept with her. That should've been enough! Yet here he was, broken up with Amanda, now sitting with Alexis Solaire in his arms, princess of the house of Solaire, metaphysically and impossibly watching his own mind racing, after she asks: “Would you ever wanna try bridging some time?” A question of pure curiosity he assumed, nothing actually said with any malicious intention but still leaving Christian stumbling over himself for a bit,trying to figure out a response that wouldn’t bring him right back to that moment with Amanda, anything that would keep her from looking at him just like Amanda so that he didn’t have to be reminded he was a fuck-up no matter what or who he was involved with- “Christian!” He snapped back into focus once more and he was back with Alexis, her straddling him as she held his face in her hands and looked down at him with worried eyes and concern painting her face. “Uh-sorry.” He gathered himself again quickly. “I-” he took a breath in to find his center once more “I lost myself a little bit there.” Alexis isn’t swayed by that, she instead looks Christian over again and then kisses his cheek. “Sorry, if you’re not ready-”

“No, I am!” Christian exclaimed, prompting a new reaction from Alexis as he attempted to salvage his words as quickly as he could. “I just wasn’t expecting you to ask about that and it’s been a while since I thought about doing that with another person, ya know?” Alexis’ expression softens. “Chris, you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” “But I want to-” “Do you?” She interrupts, her words stopping him in his tracks as though she’s pinned him down. 

He doesn’t feel like prey however, he feels like the darkest thing lurking in the shadows that awaits the drop of her guard, ready to turn her into a fresh carcass and kill their relationship in one fell swoop and watch her heart break as it has many times before and be the final nail in her proverbial coffin that puts her last will to love him to rest forever. She again pulls him in like she is gravity drawing him closer like a meteor to her inevitable doom. “Christian. I’ve-” She hesitates. “I’ve learned, after a long time, to listen, and I want to hear you say that you want this.” She holds his hands in her own, gripping close the anchor that will drown her. “I’m…sorry, Alexis” He finally confesses. He’s ready to be laid at the altar of his sins and put to death for the weight of his heart bearing far more on the scale than what feels like the feather of her love for him. “For what?” She asks. He pauses, almost surprised as though she doesn’t know that he’s transgressed against her. “I can’t bridge with you.” He resigns. She is silent and Christian knows she is holding the blade that will cut his last rope leading to heaven. He is ready for her to cast him into the flames. “...do you want to talk about it?” His heart is ready to leap from his chest and find refuge elsewhere, he has no plea that will soften the blow of his revelation nor any lie that could defuse it. He lays himself bare to be persecuted and finally be done with this long song and dance that Alexis has somehow found herself lulled into so that she can finally realize that she was always dancing with a ghost in the silent darkness. “I’ve tried-before and I’ve done it with some of the pack while we were on jobs but…” He sighs, verbalizing what he knows will finally get her to see the truth. “I can’t do it with people I care about. I’ve really tried, Lexi. I have. I want it to work but it just hasn’t worked.” A pause from her stretches into a long quiet.

Then she looks at him with curiosity, like a cat eyeing something new and interesting. “So…you’ve bridged while you were working with your pack?”

Christian is confused but he continues to answer her with a nod. “But romantically…?” Her question hangs on a while longer as Christian pieces together what she’s asking. He knows that she can understand what he’s saying. He can’t feel love for another person. Everyone talks about bridging as some grand connection filled with a love deeper than the ocean for another person but he’s never felt that, it’s always just been like a walk along the beach, watching that ocean and seeing the tide roll back and forth while never getting the hint to dip his feet in. “I can’t do it.” Alexis puts more thought into the information but she doesn’t seem phased. She should. Christian just told her that he can’t love her and as though she in fact wishes to solidify her state of unacknowledgement, she replies “Can I ask you a question?” Okay, so maybe she doesn’t get it. He’ll help clarify.

“Sure.” He says. “Have you considered that maybe it didn’t work cuz you were forcing yourself to do something you couldn’t?” Christian now pauses, his mind now more puzzled than it ever has been before. “What?” “Okay.” Alexis puts a hand to her chin to think. “You’ve bridged on jobs, right?” “Yes.” He nods. “How’d that feel?”

“...like…it was just us, working.” “Right, and the last time you tried, what were you feeling?” Christian revisits the memory to recollect every feeling of the moment he broke Amanda’s heart but he condenses it all into one sentence.

“Like…I couldn’t feel that spark, I know that spark is supposed to be there.” “Have you felt that spark when you bridged on a job?” “No.” “Alright.” She pauses and squints her eyes as she figures out what to say next. “Have you considered that you’re aro?” Oh. WAIT-

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted fandom #redacted fanfiction #redacted fanfic #redacted audio fanfic #redacted-tober 2023 #redacted christian #redacted asmr christian #christian x alexis #prissy #redacted asmr alexis

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The First Doctor's Run

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and sometimes draw comics and cartoons.

So, I’ve made a discovery…Almost every episode of Classic Doctor Who is available FOR FREE on Tubi! You know what this means?!

“More people can watch the early beginnings of the most iconic sci-fi series of all time?”

That AND I can finally review Doctor Who as a whole!

I won’t lie, this has been something I’ve wanted to do for a WHILE. Either as a ranking of each Doctor or a ranking of their best episodes, I’ve been wanting to go in depth with this series for SO LONG. And since the odds are I WON’T become a writer for television like I’ve always dreamed, I might as well talk about my favorite TV shows! Starting with the son of a bitch who started it all: The First Doctor.

Here’s what I know about the First Doctor: Next to nothing. My experience with The Doctor as a whole started all the way with Number Nine, with the only taste of One being through that Christmas Special a few years back. He’s definitely more cynical and rude than present Doctors, but this is way back in his early beginnings. NO ONE knew what direction this character would take years later and just focussed on making an interesting character NOW. Er, then? Now? Then?

Eh, bibbly-bobbly.

The point is that I’m going to TRY and not be biased with One, look at him as if I were right there in 1963. Unfortunately, unlike everyone ELSE in the sixties, I don’t have access to all the episodes. During 1968-1978, most tapes that held Doctor Who episodes were reused for new film or deleted completely for space, leaving NINETY-SEVEN episodes erased from time forever and causing twenty-six serials either gone completely or incomplete. It’s basically what streaming services and studios are doing nowadays, but without pirating sites as a safety net to preserve the art from being COMPLETELY lost. Now, there are some audio tracks saved for commercial release that feature still images or commissioned animation, but that’s not the case for every episode, unfortunately. So things are going to get a little…weird for this review. For now, I’ll say that I’m going to stick to what’s on Tubi and improvise with what’s NOT on there. Also, I’m not going to go through every single episode. Just share my thoughts on each serial as a WHOLE, mainly because those practically add up to modern episodes anyway, just an hour or two longer.

Now, with that said, let’s take a step back in time as we discuss the first adventures with our first Doctor.

Decades Old Spoilers Below

THE SERIALS

We’ll begin by going in order of each serial, starting with his first adventure and ending with his last. Helps go through this journey together.

The Unearthly Child: Okay, full disclosure, this one’s NOT on Tubi, so I had to look it up through…other means. But to be fair, it’s not like I could just IGNORE The Doctor’s very first adventure. It’s here we see a sort of formula that still remains constant to this day. The Doctor meets new companions, they become shocked by how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, they go to a place that’s filled with a temporary cast of disposable characters, and are forced to solve a problem for them or die trying. Of course, some things are different, and not just the inside of the TARDIS. The fact that The Doctor had a granddaughter was mind blowing and left me wondering what happened to her since she never showed up ONCE in the revival. And The Doctor was…surprisingly inactive despite being the titular character. He caused more problems than fixed them, like being the reason everyone was trapped in the Stone Age and later becoming the person who needed to be rescued. Honestly, Ian proved himself more as the leading man than The Doctor did throughout the whole ordeal, calling the shots and even being the one who came up with the plan that got them OUT of danger. Even when taking account that this was just the show starting out, it seems weird that the titular character isn’t the one who leads the group and is instead the whiney bitch that the others just tell themselves to ignore. As for the adventure, it’s pretty dull. Granted, you need to introduce audiences to the concept of time travel by showing them something easy to grasp like going back to the stone age. You gotta save weirder stuff for the future episodes. But the characters getting chased around by cavemen isn’t really that engaging, and it REALLY drags down a lot by part four where the conflict feels stretched out to meet the full twenty-three minutes. Overall, not that great of a first introduction but most of the best series of television rarely start off perfect. The question is if it makes me want to see more, and…it honestly doesn’t. If not for the knowledge of what the series would eventually become, I’m not sure WHY someone would stick around. But the Doctor Who fan in me is strong so I say we keep charging on.

The Daleks: The first encounter with The Daleks, the Doctor’s WORST enemies, and the serial is much better because of it. It’s actually interesting to see how these villains began with how simple they are to fight, the fact that they don’t INSTANTLY kill others they attack, and how they actually keep PRISONERS. And the serial does a great job at showing how they’re definite menaces to be feared, but not impossible to defeat, creating decent tension as the characters try to fight back literal killing machines. I also love how every character throughout the serial does something important, especially The Doctor who manages to do much more this time than whine and complain as he actually uses his intelligence to help his companions out of this troublesome situation. Although, he’s still the jackass that got them all trapped in this situation all for the sake of exploring a town that they know NOTHING about. There’s definite improvements to his character this time, but The Doctor being the cause for their current conflict is not one of them. And while we’re on complaints, this serial STILL feels like it stretches its adventure out for the sake of making the serial longer than it should be. There’s some definite excitement in the first half with our core four characters trying to escape the Daleks, but this serial still didn’t need to be seven gosh dang episodes long. I feel like there’s some meat to be cut out with making the Thals stand up for themselves, conceiving a plan of attack, and invading the Daleks’ base. Other than that, this is still a pretty decent serial filled with great tension from the Daleks and strong chemistry and dynamics between our core four. It’s definitely stronger than the last serial and a MUCH better introduction to the series. No wonder it’s the one that Tubi has.

The Edge of Destruction: A nice, short mystery where the first half does really well in making you feel as disoriented as the rest of the cast. There’s this solid unease where you’re not sure what’s going on and you’re left to pick up the pieces, bit by bit, to figure out what happened and if there’s anyone or anything responsible for this mess. Although, part two tends to fall a tad short because most of the clues we got were then explained to the audience and then given this big explanation that came out of left field because the biggest clue wasn’t revealed yet. So as a mystery, it definitely isn’t strong. Though, I do like how The Doctor is the one to figure things out and save the day in this serial. Sure, him being antagonistic towards the others wasn’t great but I enjoy how The Doctor has finally warmed up to his companions and that it’s implied that he no longer chooses to be suspicious of them. So while the mystery fell short, I can’t complain when it improves The Doctor’s character.

Marco Polo: Unavailable on Tubi due to the BBC deleting episodes. Yeah, unfortunately, this is our FIRST serial that can’t be seen in its entirety through official means…Though, no one said anything about using transcripts.

HAHA! Loophole! Because while I’m not going to steal audio-only episodes for the sake of reviews, who’s going to stop me from READING. It’s not stealing episodes if I’m just reading what happens! Although, unfortunately, it only gives me a PART of the picture. I won’t understand performances or fully grasp how characters look, but it’s no different from strictly LISTENING. There’s a lot that unfortunately goes missing when a visual media loses its visuals, and for a case like this it’s best to work with what we have. And what I have is the story pretty much described to me by someone else. It’s not preferable, but it IS what I can do for these times. Remember this every time a studio deletes episodes or entire shows off its platforms.

With that said, based on what I’ve read…Yeah, this one DRAGS. It’s The Doctor and company being forced to move from place to place and dealing with Marco Polo as they do. Doesn’t sound too bad, but each place they go to follows a specific formula: Someone does something Polo doesn’t like, he voices displeasure about it, The Doctor and others argue their case, Tegana points out how they’re actually evil, and Marco Polo, who flips from being reasonably cautious and unreasonably stupid, constantly tells them to get out of his face while still dragging them off to the next location. This goes on for SEVEN EPISODES, each one making the whole serial feel way too long and way too repetitive. I kept hoping this would be the end of the serial and we could move on to the next, only for it to KEEP. F**KING. GOING! It’s so dull that I needed TWO DAYS to read through the damn thing. But maybe that’s the problem: I had to READ it. There might be subtleties in the VISUAL performance that better conveys Marco’s personality, even if it DOES seem to flip/flop on paper. Plus, there are some things like the set designs and special effects that a transcript could gloss over and not properly convey. And there are SOME nice bits like The Doctor trying (and failing) to win the TARDIS back in a game of backgammon, which is all kinds of fun. And Susan made an endearing friendship with Ping-Cho. Those two are surprisingly adorable together and it’s nice to see Susan make a connection with someone her own age. Other than that, though, if this wasn’t that great of a story on paper, the original serial better have some MIND BLOWING execution to make it great. Otherwise, maybe fans aren’t losing much if this serial is lost to time.

The Keys of Marinus: A pretty clever idea with this one. The story for this serial is that The Doctor and his companions are out searching for the titular Keys of Marinus, presenting a story that’s a fetch-quest, with each episode dedicated to the characters finding one key. It’s smart because instead of stretching out one adventure to make the serial longer, it connects four adventures through this loose thread, keeping audience interest up as everyone tries to get out of the danger of the week. It’s fairly effective, filled with great moments like Barbara trying to save the core four from being brainwashed into mindless zombies, the entirety of “The Snows of Terror,” and The Doctor solving a murder. It’s all good fun, but not without some problems. An episode like “The Screaming Jungle” feels like it needs more time as there’s a lot of ideas that don't live up to its full potential or come out of nowhere. Like, a living jungle SOUNDS cool, but it only really comes into fruition until the end. There’s also the fact that the search for the last key feels stretched out because the writers didn’t realize soon enough that the finale for this serial was too short so they made the final hunt longer to compensate. But what bothers me the most is that The Doctor just…leaves the hunt just to spend time in a more civilized society. It works out for the murder mystery, but it also feels weird that the titular character bows out for two whole episodes, leaving his companions to do all of the work he neglects. Honestly, at this point, I’d say Ian should be the one the show is named after with how well he leads the party and even comes up with a clever plan to stop the big bads. And I know I keep harping on it, but why name the show Doctor Who when that same doctor hardly helps? Still, “The Keys of Marinus” is a fun serial that leads to solid short tales, even if there were some rough steps along the way.

The Aztecs: Oh, this one’s racist, isn’t it…? You know what? I’m as white as a ping-pong ball and have the patience of a goldfish to do proper research myself to make any judgments to decide something that I have no official standing on. So I won’t be the one to say what is and isn’t racist…Aside from the fact that those are obviously WHITE people playing the Aztecs.

But possible racism aside, this serial is more on the dull side. I do like this conflict between The Doctor and Barbara, where Barbara tries to change history for what she thinks is for the better (Which means changing the history and culture of Aztecs–Let’s not get into it) where The Doctor tries to convince her that there’s no way to change history. Future episodes continue to dive deep into the idea that history cannot be altered no matter what the characters want, and it’s interesting to see one of the first instances where the characters learn this the hard way. I also love how it ends on this idea that while they couldn’t change what happened, they still touched the lives of those they’ve made relationships with, meaning that it ALL wasn’t a loss. It’s a shining light of optimism within the tragedy that becomes a reoccuring theme through a lot of future episodes, and I love it each time. But other than that, this serial is another one that DRAGS. It’s just The Doctor and his companions screwing around with Aztecs for two hours while this boring subgroup conspired against them. It makes the whole serial feel like it’s running in place for too long, and I feel like if it cut out ONE episode or maybe shorten it down to two, the serial could be stronger for it. It’s also weird how Barbara is, like, a different person in this. Like, I get it, she’s acting like a goddess, but she seems TOO good at her performance, almost as if the writers wrote her as an ACTUAL goddess and not a character PRETENDING to be one. It feels off a lot of the time, and it’s just one more thing that makes this serial weak. Even though I like the idea of characters trying to fight hard to change history, that’s something done MUCH better in the future. It’s a charming first attempt, but not one I’m willing to revisit.

The Sensorites: A pretty…substandard serial. The titular Sensorites start off pretty scary and intimidating, being unlike anything the show has produced so far in this run. It presents a bit of uncanny horror for a good while…But then the serial reveals that they’re mostly peaceful creatures, aside from a few devious outliers, who actually need help. It’s a decent twist that also leads to The Doctor being the most active he’s ever been. The way he goes about finding a cure for this mysterious illness and taking charge in dealing with any dangerous Sensorite made it feel like, for the first time, he deserves to have the show named after him. I like it…but it doesn’t stop the serial feeling like it’s a little aimless at times, almost as if it’s drifting by for six episodes. We get some good stuff from it, but storywise it feels like we’re just bouncing from scene to scene as if the writers are making stuff up as they go and presenting coincidences that foil some villains’ plans. And then there’s this out of nowhere idea that this subgroup of humans lived under the Sensorites for so long, but there was never any indication of this and it’s presented in the VERY LAST episode, making it an almost pointless idea that went nowhere. I’m glad to see The Doctor become more  of a leading man, but I would have preferred it in a better, more coherent serial.

The Reign of Terror: MOST of the serial is intact…aside from two episodes. Meaning that it’s incomplete and not available on Tubi, so…ONTO THE TRANSCRIPT!

On paper, this whole thing seems like a drag. It starts interestingly enough with The Doctor being separated from his companions as they’re taken prisoner during the French Revolution. It leads to Ian, Barbara, and Susan trying to escape while The Doctor tries to reunite with them (instead of pissing off for half the serial), creating this situation where everyone’s putting in the work as they share the same goal. The problem is that, like the REST of the serials before, the characters fart around for too long just to stretch the story out to reach a goal. They will escape and then get recaptured for the sake of forced tension, and by the time Susan and Barbara were in prison again I just wanted the serial to come close to an end. Thankfully, by then, there were two episodes left, but it doesn’t change how it’s all two episodes too long. The only thing to catch my intrigue later was Barbara wishing they could help Robespierre from getting killed and The Doctor reminding her that they can’t change history. I still love an idea like that, but here, it happens near the very end and there’s barely enough time to appreciate it or dive deep into it. In fact, this could have been a great “Can’t mess with the past” episode, but it’s just…the characters trying to escape a situation and spending too long on it. The worst part is that this is the Season One finale, the time to go for broke, and it’s just…the same old thing with the same old problems as previous serials. Maybe it worked better visually or even through audio, but on paper it’s just as slow and boring as ever. Hopefully the next season starts big.

Planet of Giants: Huh. Guess it did. Just…literally.

Jokes aside, I am impressed with the set design in this serial. I can tell everyone worked so hard to set the scale, making you feel how small these characters are. Sure, you can tell exactly HOW it was done, but for the sixties this all must have been mind blowing work, especially for a TV show. As for the story, it’s…adequate. The characters are trying to prevent these two men from making an insecticide that could do more harm than good while also trying to find their way back to the TARDIS to reverse their size. It’s not the BIGGEST (ha) danger in the world and it’s something they could have stopped easily at normal size. If they focussed on growing again, they could have stopped the main evil prick within seconds, so the majority of the serial is just them messing around by trying to stop him while they’re an inch tall. And there’s also the fact that Barabara held the idiot ball throughout the serial, touching something in a lab when she shouldn’t have and keeping that information to herself for far too long. Like, WHY didn’t she tell the others she was infected with the insecticide? We never got an answer for that and it’s kind of frustrating as it adds unnecessary tension to a serial that doesn’t really need it. The characters trying to get big again is more than enough, we don’t need a nefarious plot about an insecticide gone wrong or one of the characters getting sick from it. But while the story definitely could use some improvements, the set design really does carry it, being an impressive visual display even if it’s for an inferior serial.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, so THAT’S what happened to Susan…Anyways, the best way I could describe this serial is two steps forward and one step back. The cinematography is impressive, looking like a feature film at times with dynamic shots and cool ways that the camera follows the characters. BUT the direction seems to be all over the place. Most of the time, it’s fine, but then you get stuff like actors interrupting or talking over each other or moments where peripheral view is…not a thing. There’s even a part where a Dalek is looking RIGHT AT THE DOCTOR as it’s moving away…and it just continues moving onward as if nothing happened. It’s actually kind of hilarious at times. And speaking of the Daleks, this serial did a great job showcasing how threatening and evil they can really be. The twisted way they used humans as slaves to destroy a planet is sick and seeing how that broke the human mind and ruined their families proved that the Daleks are nothing to be messed with. The problem is that the serial shows how easily they can be messed with. Like, even if they doubt the intelligence of normal Earth people, it’s not a smart plan to have a way for them to escape their prison cell WITHIN THE CELL ITSELF! And how is it that they can blast away people no problem but struggle with the robot slaves they made? I don’t know how it’s possible, but this serial manages to make these tin salt shakers MORE and LESS terrifying. On the upside, our heroes are at least competent in this adventure. Much like the last encounter with the Daleks, everyone does something of value, only this time they’re all split up to accomplish their own task that actually helps the others in a way they wouldn’t expect. It DOES feel like some plot lines are a little aimless with some of our cast waffling about a little longer than they should, but it all leads to a great ending when they reunite once more. 

And, of course, there’s the sad departure of Susan. It’s performed well and does a decent job of making me FEEL a little sad when The Doctor allows Susan to leave so she can live a life of her own without being forced to travel everywhere with him. I liked it…though I do have issues with how the reason that she wants to leave is because she fell in love with a man she’s known for a few days. It’s part of the writing of the sixties, I know that, but it doesn’t change how WEIRD it feels that Susan is willing to give up everything she knows for someone she recently met. So while I enjoyed the scene, it felt very flawed, which is the same for the whole serial. I enjoyed it a lot, but there were a few imperfections here and there that made “The Dalek Invasion of Earth” a messy, albeit fun, serial.

The Rescue: This was a blessedly short serial. The big twist was fairly easy to figure out after Part One, and if this serial was stretched out for more than two parts it would hurt it significantly. We don’t need four parts of the characters farting around, picking up little clues, and then solving the big crisis within minutes. So having the story last for about two episodes leaves for a brief adventure that works well on its own while also introducing the audience to Vicki. And I’ll admit…I’m not too sure about Vicki in this serial. She comes across as a less competent Susan who cries more and doesn’t have the same intrigue Susan did as being The Doctor’s granddaughter. It’s obvious that she’s there as a replacement for the “The Young One” in the group and it doesn’t work for me. What DOES work is how The Doctor is presented, as he acts much more like The Doctor I know now. He’s active towards figuring out what’s going on, caring towards Vicki and consoling her when she needs it, and is the one to confront Bennett in the climax of the serial. I do like how it’s sort of a slow burn with The First Doctor, showing him eventually grow from the bitter old man who couldn’t care less about anyone else to a more kind and proactive character due to the adventures he went on with his companions and the people that they meet. I still say it was off to name the show after the guy who didn’t do much, but The Doctor’s slowly earning his role as the leading man and I enjoyed that this is one of the earlier starts of them becoming the hero we know now. So while this is a standard serial, it does give us one of the better presentations of The First Doctor.

The Romans: *INSERT DATED ROMAN EMPIRE JOKE HERE*

Anywho, this one’s pretty entertaining. There’s basically two sides of this serial’s story: The Doctor and Vicki hanging out with Nero and his hysterical nonsense and Ian and Barbara being stuck in the slave trade…Yeah, probably sounds like the tones would heavily clash with this one, but it surprisingly flows well. You laugh at the hijinks of The Doctor acting as a close friend towards Nero while feeling empathy for Barbara and Ian as they’re forced into the worst possible position in Rome. There’s even equal attention to both plotlines, making them balance each other out fairly well that leads to the serial feeling fast but fun. The only thing that drags it down is how it begins and ends. The cut between the TARDIS falling and The Doctor and Ian chilling out in Roman attire felt jarring. Same goes for the reveal that they willingly stayed in Rome for a whole month instead of focussing all attention on fixing the TARDIS. I suppose it would come across as a pleasant holiday, but then they say they’ve been hanging out in someone else’s house while they were away and that’s…odd. It’s odd that it worked out like that for a whole month. Same goes with the ending, where The Doctor feels giddy at causing the fire of Rome. Even for the First Doctor, it doesn’t seem right that they would take joy in causing such destruction and mayhem. But aside from the problems in the beginning and the end, everything in the middle of the serial offered great entertainment for a pleasant viewing for me.

The Web Planet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! For whatever bizarre reason or another, SOMEONE decided to give these giant ants the most ear-piercingly irritating sound for how they communicate. It was already grating by the first episode, yet they still thought it was a good idea to use the same sound, continuously, FOR SIX EPISODES! Halfway through the third, I genuinely considered skipping the rest of the serial entirely because I couldn’t STAND those f**king ants! Thankfully, I remembered that subtitles were a thing, so I just played the rest of the serial on mute and just read the subtitles. Trust me when I say that is the only way to make the damn thing watchable. And even then, it’s not that great of a serial anyways. It’s the characters helping these anthropomorphic bugs with slightly less annoying (but still pretty annoying) voices in a rebellion against the ants. I’m all about it, because screw those things, but it’s still a bog-standard adventure with some admittedly impressive costumes and effects for the time. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I couldn’t stand LISTENING to this episode, but I would have been completely fine if this was one of the few serials lost to time.

The Crusade: Speaking of which, HALF of this serial is missing and not on Tubi either. So ONTO THE TRANSCRIPTS (Gosh dang it…)

I think the problem with this serial is made clear with how it begins. We have new characters talking about political nonsense as if we, the audience, should already know the context of what they’re saying. Then when we’re introduced to the core four, they’re thrown into the middle of a battle with no proper set-up that their conflict of Barbara getting kidnapped happened so fast that it barely registers. This slow pace of boring politics with characters we don’t know and fast paced attempts of Barbara trying to escape her kidnappers remains throughout this whole serial. MAYBE it was handled better visually, but the way the serial constantly introduces new characters to discuss politics while The Doctor and his companions are barely there makes the whole thing feel like its priorities are disjointed. There should be more focus on Barbara trying to escape while the others go out to save her, but there’s so much attention on the politics and trying so hard to be historically accurate or whatever and it…doesn’t keep my interest. Not to mention that the constant new characters to keep track of as they steal attention is not all that entertaining and causes the whole serial to seem like it forgets who the show’s really about. I just wanted it all to end, as I feel like this is one of those serials that aren’t better on paper nor through execution.

The Space Museum: This one starts off pretty confusing, first intentionally and then unintentionally. I’m just as lost as the characters are, wondering what happened to them and what’s to come of it. It effectively puts me in the mindset the serial wants me to have, but then they give this explanation that just makes my brain hurt when I try to think about it too long and hard. Thankfully, the premise that the serial tries to sell is simple enough to shrug off the nonsense of time and relative dimension or whatever the hell. Basically, The Doctor and his companions saw a vision of what COULD BE their future, and the whole serial is them trying to make sure that never comes to be. It’s a solid premise that’s effectively tense in a lot of scenes as the characters seemingly get closer to what could be an inevitable future. Added with some fun moments of The Doctor being a giggly old goof as he screws with his enemies and it’s a fun time. The only weak part is this subplot involving the most ineffective rebellion I’ve ever seen, where it’s a miracle that they survived this long until they received help from Vicki of all characters. Though, even then, the subplot does well to show how independent Vicki can be in a situation AND adds to the theme that a person’s future can be changed if they changed the lives of others. It’s a decent message that helps make the serial a surprisingly good time. And yeah, that ending sting made me excited for the next one. Speaking of…

The Chase: This was…not what I was expecting. In the last two encounters with The Daleks, it was a big, tense adventure with the characters struggling to find a way to beat them. Here, it’s more like “The Keys of Marinus,” a collection of small adventures as the characters are chased through space and time as they try to escape The Daleks. It’s less of an epic adventure and more of a mixed bag of fun escapades and…awkward distractions. For example, watching the characters get stuck in a haunted house or fighting a robotic Doctor can be entertaining, but them interacting with this weird, underground civilization or this man from Alabama just drag it to a halt. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the first half, making it a serial that starts slow but picks up momentum as things go on. There’s also some decent money put into this, having some impressive sets that change each episode, some crazy special effects for the sixties (the part where there’s two Doctors still looks good), and some creative camera angles that give a more cinematic feel. I dare say that this would be an impressively put together serial that is mostly fun despite some awkwardness.

But the real meat of this is that “The Chase” ends with the departure of Ian and Barbara. I will admit, the pacing upon their exit felt a bit too fast, with their decision to leave coming out of nowhere and their return home not giving us enough time to appreciate them appreciating Earth. Although, as weird as the pacing is, The Doctor’s heartbreak to see them go is well-acted and believable. You can tell that he’s less upset about the risk that comes with using The Daleks’ time machine and more upset about the idea that they want to leave in the first place. It’s odd that he feels more upset over two humans than his granddaughter, but this is still a moment that introduces the tragedy of The Doctor. They’re a character that’s always on the move, going from one part of the universe to the next and having to say goodbye to every friend and companion they ever make. They WANT to keep company, but know that their companion’s departure is always inevitable. Yet it breaks their heart just the same. I FEEL that tragedy here way more than with Susan, where The Doctor seemed more than willing to let her live her life. But with Ian and Barbara, these two humans who left an impact on him, they’ll stick with The Doctor’s heart for a long time.

The Time Meddler: The premise of this one is great. A time-traveler disguised as a monk is screwing with time to make himself the most important person in the universe. And The Doctor, being the biggest defender of time and space, tries to stop him. It’s a perfect idea that fits perfectly with who The Doctor is while giving him a true foil that he won’t have again until meeting The Master. It’s actually a ton of fun watching what’s basically the Beta Master trying to mess with history just for the pure selfish reasons of self-importance. And I do say that the serial perfectly captures that idea…by Part Four. Yeah, the majority of the first three parts are about hinting at what The Monk has been doing and padding out the runtime with characters screwing around in the woods or the monastery. By the time we get to Part Four, it does work well with the premise, having The Doctor and The Monk try and outsmart each other for victory with The Doctor, of course,  coming out on top. And I’ll admit that it was great seeing The Doctor take charge without someone else stealing the show as the leading man. What, do you think that the new guy STEVEN is going to take Ian’s place as the take-charge companion? Get the hell out of here…

But, yeah, while the first three parts DRAG, “The Time Meddler” at least ends on a high enough note where I say it was worth the watch. I’ll likely only return to that final episode instead of watching the whole thing, but what are you gonna do?

Galaxy 4: Unfortunately, this is another that’s been deleted from history. HOWEVER, it’s still on Tubi…Sort of. Because the audio logs are still intact, they had the whole serial reanimated by Digitoonz Media & Entertainment. And it’s…distracting. Not because the animation is bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not GREAT, but what’s distracting about it is that the animators tried their hardest to give this serial a cinematic feel, having grandiose backgrounds and doing things the actors and set designers wouldn’t be capable of doing. It’s entertaining to see, but leaves me questioning what the original episodes would have looked like. Because there is NO WAY this animation is an EXACT reenactment of what happens. But I’m not really complaining because there are some good stuff that comes from making this serial animated, like having all of Maaga’s forces exact copies of one another or actually seeing the destruction of the planet as Maaga is forced to watch it fall apart around her. I like a lot of this stuff, despite the distractions. As for the story, it feels blessedly quick, albeit simple. I saw the twist of Maaga and her weird ass clones being the real evil a mile away, but this WAS likely one of the first instances when a story presents the nice looking creatures as evil where the ugly looking ones are good. I can give it a little leeway for that, especially since “Galaxy 4” makes it clear that it’s MAAGA who’s the real villain whereas her clones are more or less drones following orders to appease their crooked master. There’s actually a bit of tragedy to the clones where they don’t get a chance to think on their own and do what their master says because it’s all they know. It effectively makes you feel bad for them as you also feel grateful that Maaga dies knowing it was all for nothing. And, again, it all goes by fairly quickly, making a serial that feels short and to the point. I couldn’t ask for better and I REALLY wish there were more lost episodes that were animated. Would have at least made for a more unique experience than reading transcripts to ones that are lost.

Mission to the Unknown: Speak of the devil! At least it’s only ONE episode…And a pretty decent one at that.

This is the first time where we don’t follow The Doctor or any of their companions, but instead some one-off characters. This would happen on occasion, with one of the most popular examples being the episode “Blink,” showing great tension as we watch these characters try to survive without a Doctor to save them. It’s no different here, as “Mission to the Unknown” features two men trying to warn the galaxy of a master plan of the Daleks, setting up a future serial while also standing well on its own for a quick adventure that ends in unfortunate death. It doesn’t give us enough time to really CARE about them, but that might have something to do with me reading it too fast. It’s still a solid episode that leaves one fearing for what’s to come later.

The Myth Makers: And another for the transcripts. Son of a bitch…

It’s not easy to tell strictly through text, but I think this is meant to be a more comedic adventure. In past serials like “Marco Polo” and “The Crusade,” they bore me by forcing in politics and dull characters, likely for the sake of “Historical accuracy.” Here, it’s The Doctor and his companions dealing with idiots on both sides of the Trojan War, with historical accuracy most definitely thrown out the window as people are more familiar with the version in Homer’s Odyssey. It is much more entertaining to see The Doctor try to appeal to the whims of a meathead like Odysseus and watching Priam and his family bicker about Cassandra and the legitimacy of her visions, rather than getting lost in the politics. It’s fun, but I’m curious if it’s meant to be. You have obvious comedic moments like Steven’s quickly failed rescue attempt and Menelaus wanting a drink after hearing The Doctor’s Trojan Horse plan, but the majority of the lines also don’t strike me as TOO humorous. That’s largely because the way an actor delivers a line versus how it’s written can give two different reactions, and it’s why READING the lines doesn’t leave as big of a comedic punch as hearing an actor say it in a funny way.

“Well, then listen to the audio versions.”

I’VE READ SO MANY TRANSCRIPTS AT THIS POINT! I’M IN TOO DEEP NOW!

But I will say that if the point WAS to make this adventure more comedic, then it makes the inevitable fall of Troy feel all the more tragic. I didn’t want the Trojans to die! They were FUNNY! And because they made me laugh a little, it hurt seeing them killed, even if I should have expected from the beginning.

One thing I didn’t expect, though, was that this was Vicki’s departure. Which I wouldn’t have minded if not for how it’s weirdly unceremoniously done. There’s no final goodbye and it feels like it breezes past The Doctor saying he’ll miss her. And her reasoning is just…dull. She leaves because she liked a boy, much like how SUSAN left. I guess there WAS a bit of foreshadowing given how Priam changes Vicki’s name to Cressida, a female character in retellings of the Trojan War who famously falls for Troilus. But even then, it still feels weak and even strange that Vicki would willingly choose to stay in a time she doesn’t live in for Troilus, a boy she knew for about two days. I know it’s something that just…happens back then in 60s fiction, but makes for an off addition to an already entertaining serial.

The Daleks’ Master Plan: SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, this is the LONGEST serial yet! Possibly the longest serial in the show’s history! And the weirdest part is that only three episodes of it still exist, which is crazy not only because of the length but also because it features The Daleks. Even back then, it’s pretty clear that The Daleks are the fan favorite villains of the series, with the writers inserting them in when they can. And you would think that major characters such as them would be more valuable to protect, but no. All we have are mostly audio logs…And transcripts for yours truly.

Which is a shame too, because…this is a frickin’ GOOD one! Quite possibly the best serial I’ve ever read yet! The plot is basically characters playing keep away from each other, chasing after this insanely impressive element that The Daleks want to use for another doomsday weapon. And I just loved that the second The Doctor saw The Daleks, he knew that they needed to be stopped. He wasn’t forced into it or was trying to survive The Daleks attacking first. After three whole adventures of dealing with them, The Doctor finally put two and two together to realize that The Daleks just existing is enough to know that nothing good can come from it. So he takes charge on an adventure that’s definitely a little too long but reads as incredibly grand. It’s sort of a repeat of “The Chase,” where The Doctor and company go from place to place, planet to planet, so they can avoid The Dalek’s capture, but there’s some things that make this serial stronger. For one, the stakes feel real this time, with characters who assist The Doctor and Steven on their journey getting killed unceremoniously or tragically. You’re given enough time with Bret, Katarina, and Sara that when they meet their end for the sake of saving the group, it makes you feel a little something. The whole serial comes to a close with this idea that while victory was met in the end, The Doctor and Steven still take a moment to reflect on the lives they lost to win. It really sets how grim and deadly this adventure was, showing characters could die whether they’re ones you care about or even enemies to The Doctor. Speaking of, this serial also works in giving more unique foes outside of STRICTLY The Daleks. You have Chen, an arrogant and egotistical dilweed who’s maniac drive to be ruler of the Universe and doing anything to get it makes you enjoy his untimely demise all the more. There’s even a surprise return of The Monk, who sets himself more as this pathetic failure of a villain as he stumbles constantly to one-up The Doctor only to be outsmarted every turn. Both mix things up well while also making it clear that The Daleks are the real threats as Chen and The Monk follow every command due to fearing for their safety. It helps make the serial feel like a more unique adventure compared to past ones with The Daleks, adding more life, energy, and intensity to it. The only time I was taken out of the whole thing was this random Christmas special that got inserted halfway through. It distracted from the plot way too long and was filled with jokes that were probably funny VISUALLY and maybe AUDIBLY, but not so much when you’re reading it…like I did. Still, that’s ONE episode in a twelve episode long serial. Being entertained with eleven out of twelve episodes is still a great feat that makes “The Daleks’ Master Plan” a masterclass serial. Now can we go back to actually WATCHING these episodes again?

The Massacre: Guess not…

And this one’s one of the worst, if not THE worst. “The Massacre” has the same problems as “The Crusade.” So much of this serial is focussing on the politics of the historical event taking place, watching these characters you barely give a shit about with the main cast you love getting pushed to the sidelines. Except that while “The Crusade” had the charming cast of THE DOCTOR, Ian, Barbara, and even Vicki, “The Massacre” focuses on Steven. And I’ll get into the specifics in a moment, but I do NOT care for Steven. So to have four episodes focusing on boring historical politics and a character I do not like, it’s pretty easy to pick up why I dislike this serial the most out of all of them. I’m not kidding when I say that the best part about it is the moment where it seemed like Steven was leaving. Before you say anything, it’s not because it gave me hope that Steven was gone for good…Okay, it’s partially because of that, but it’s mostly because of this moment where The Doctor reflects on the people in his life and how he misses them. He even corrects HIMSELF when getting Ian’s last name wrong, showing us that he cares enough to get it right now because he misses his friend. It’s a bittersweet moment that proves how much The Doctor loves each companion they’ve made, even the first few people they’ve met in this first life. It was beautiful…and then it got undercut immediately to introduce Dodo and shove Steven back in as he changed his mind. The one thing I liked about this serial, and it’s ruined by itself. Yeah, this one’s definitely the worst, and I’m not missing it.

The Ark: FINALLY, something I don’t have to READ!

“The Ark” surprised me for a second. I knew going in that it was a four-part-long serial, but by the time Part Two met its end I was confused. It seemed like the story was wrapping up as The Doctor and company cured a ship of the common cold and went off to a new adventure. Only for the TARDIS to appear in the same exact spot many years later with a new problem caused by their actions in the past. Already, I love this premise. We almost never return to the same place twice with The Doctor, where after they save people from this great threat they always head off, assuming everything is fine. This is the first time we actually see what happened to the people that The Doctor saved, only to find out something worse happened to them. It’s a solid premise with good enough execution. I like that this whole thing started with an accident. Dodo just happened to have a cold and didn’t expect the consequences that could come to a species that never experienced it. It puts The Doctor and company in a situation where you don’t BLAME them for what happened but you understand that they have to clean up this mess they caused. I also find it brilliant that the first half of the serial has The Doctor and his companions dealing with rouge Guardians and the second is rouge Monoids, giving this message that both parties aren’t innocent creatures and that peace can only be made when they learn to live together instead of treating one species as slaves. It’s a bit muddled as we don’t really see much of the extent that the Guardians treat the Monoids and how disrespected they are. It gives the idea that the creepy-looking creatures who look different are more at fault, especially since the human Guardians are the ones who assist The Doctor in both halves. There’s never any assistance from the Monoids, which makes it feel like peace might not be the best option. I wouldn’t harp on it if not for the fact that several serials back in “Galaxy 4,” we had the same message of “The ugly ones aren’t evil” with decent results. Still, the idea and meaning is clear as no one’s really, wholly good. Just could have used some cleaning up on showing the good side of the Monoids, making “The Ark” having a strong story ARC.

HAHAHA–Kill me. Next one!

The Celestial Toymaker: All but the last part of this serial is missing, so…onto the transcripts.

I mean it, kill me.

(I don’t actually mean it. Just…been doing this for a while)

This serial introduces The Toymaker, a character that would only reappear once more…fifty-seven years later with the incomparable Niel Patrick Harris playing the role. And speaking as someone who got introduced to this character through NPH doing random accents and a random ass dance sequence to “Spice Up Your Life,” I wasn’t sure what to expect from the version in the sixties. Turns out, while he’s not as bombastic and jovial as Niel Patrick Harris, The Toymaker is still the most unique villain that The Doctor and others have come across so far. The Doctor isn’t kidding when he says that The Toymaker loves using people as his playthings, sending out dolls, board games, playing cards, and all sorts of other traps to entertain himself with The Doctor and his companions. And while Steven and Dodo aren’t the best duo in the world,, they’re at least paired up with despicable and hilariously incompetent antagonists as The Toymaker sends out his toys against them. You’re entertained by them, but at the same time you feel bad for them when they fail because they’re all trapped souls captured by The Toymaker. Or are they? The serial cleverly keeps you guessing whether or not these toys were once people, leaving it up to interpretation on if it’s all a part of a trick he’s playing. It adds a bit of tragedy to the goofs and gags, which I certainly appreciate. Then you have The Doctor’s game with The Toymaker that adds intensity, as he’s trying his best to stall to win the game until Steven and Dodo find the TARDIS. And, sure, I would have loved MORE to actually SEE The Doctor beat The Toymaker in a battle of wits as opposed to watching Steven and Dodo going through a goofy, silly adventure, I’m not complaining too much for the end result. “The Celestial Toymaker” is still an incredibly entertaining serial that has every character working well together to survive and being competent as they win their own game. Although, I do have to call nonsense towards Fourteen in “The Giggle.” Saying that cheating is the last thing The Toymaker would do when that’s all he does in this serial…Nonsense.

The Gunfighters: This serial finds the characters in a wild, wild west adventure, and this one’s definitely meant to be a more entertaining ride rather than an epic adventure with huge stakes. You’ve got fun stuff like Steven being forced to sing at gunpoint, an outlaw playing dentist as he rips out The Doctor’s tooth, Dodo fainting as she attempts to hold a man at gunpoint, and British people trying to do western accents. It’s definitely a good time, but it also feels like the writers leaned too hard into this being a western. All the tropes and cliches seem present and it’s definitely enjoyable, but it doesn’t feel like a Doctor Who story. The characters are pretty much in the background as we follow the narrative threads of these outlaws and a sheriff. Sure, they’re entertaining as well and don’t make the serial drag like “The Crusade” and “The Massacre” did, but at the cost of abandoning who we really follow this series for: The Doctor and his companions. What’s crazy is that ten (eleven?) regenerations later, The Doctor would go on another wild west adventure, facing down a space robot playing bounty hunter as The Doctor protects a town that’s inexperienced with this kind of threat. Not only does that episode have a concept that works perfectly for this show but it makes the story revolve around The Doctor and his companions trying to save this town. In “The Gunfighters,” The Doctor and company are pretty much absent for most of the story, either being dragged along by characters with more narrative importance, or stepping out of the entire climax. And yes, there are instances when the show follows random characters for the entirety of a story, but that’s still done in a way that it feels like it matches the show. Like how in “Mission of the Unknown,” where we follow characters trying desperately to stop The Daleks. Goofy or intense sci-fi nonsense and seeing The Doctor and co. reacting to history is what makes Doctor Who one of the most engaging science fiction shows ever made. While a western can be entertaining, something like “The Gunfighters” tends to make you forget what show you’re watching.

The Savages: Deleted. And a shame too, because this is another good one. The concept of this civilized society using living people as an energy source is already chilling, and the serial does well in showing how messed up it is for the supposed Savages. Though, if this was written in Modern Doctor Who, I feel like  the results of this power draining would be MUCH darker. Especially if Steven Moffat wrote the episode (The sick bastard). As is, it’s still great with how they made the power draining as dark as it could be for the sixties, all while adding a classist message that still manages to work NOW with its themes of the high and mighty sucking the life of what they think is savage. I love it and I also adore how The Doctor quickly picked up on how sick this whole idea is, wanting to shut the whole thing down immediately. THAT’S The Doctor I know, and it’s pretty fun that what saved the day is their leader taking some of The Doctor’s essence. Even when temporarily beaten, The Doctor still wins.

It’s all pretty great, but do you wanna know what’s better? STEVEN! IS! GONE!

Again, I’ll get to WHY later, but I am so glad to see Steven go. He wasn’t really the best companion out there and it is pretty nice that in his last adventure with The Doctor it’s all about Steven finally learning how to be useful. It’s to better sell that he’d be a capable leader to these people and…under his leadership, they’d probably die, but I can take it. Seeing Steven gone makes me willing to accept any nonsense of making him a leader and it’s nice that the show lets him leave with dignity. Even with the worst companions, it’s great the show at least treats them as people and lets ones like Steven leave happy enough instead of injecting him out the airlock or something. His departure is very welcomed and makes this serial stand out a little higher.

The War Machines: The final serial available on Tubi, and it’s…alright? Yeah, I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other towards this one. The premise itself is what I love to see in Doctor Who, as this machine meant to help humanity ends up wanting to conquer it, with The Doctor being a key factor in securing the victory only to become the machine’s downfall. It’s all decent enough, with actors doing well at portraying these disturbingly obedient human puppets and there being some impressive puppetry on display with WANTON’s war machines. But as decent as it all is, none of it really WOWED me. The techno babble that The Doctor used to explain how he outsmarted and bested the war machines lost me due to how convoluted it was. Same goes for how WANTON was able to hypnotize human beings. I don’t even know if it was ever explained because of how much non-scientific science was thrown in this entire serial. It’s the central part of this entire premise, and it makes little sense how a computer was able to hypnotize anyone, even if it was supposedly advanced.

Another thing that bothers me about this serial is that this is supposed to be Dodo’s exit. She’s out for half the adventure and doesn’t even get to say goodbye in person. She just takes a nap, lets her replacements do most of the work, and then she’s gone for good. It feels cheap and gives her the weakest exit out of any companion in this run. Possibly the weakest exit ever. It’s another little aspect that makes the serial not BAD but not outstanding, either.

The Smugglers: Not much to say about this one. Just a fast romp as The Doctor and his companions fend off pirates in their hunt for a legendary treasure. It drags a little bit and there’s a lot of flip-flopping in terms of certain characters’ loyalty, but it has some fun moments, like The Doctor outsmarting opponents and Ben and Polly proving their worth as companions fairly quickly. Not a spectacular adventure, but entertaining enough.

The Tenth Planet: Here it is. The final serial in the First Doctor’s run…And it’s incomplete.

Yeah, the final adventure with William Hartnell’s Doctor, and you can’t see it in its entirety. You can watch the first three parts, but the fourth? Not a chance. It’s quite disappointing and, you know what? If I could cheat with his first adventure, I can cheat with his last. Let’s use “other means” than Tubi to watch those first three episodes and read what happens next.

And I’ll just say…it’s ALMOST perfect. It has a STRONG premise, introducing the Cybermen, a longtime enemy of The Doctor. It was so fascinating to see how humanlike these monsters began, moving and speaking like everyday men just with a slight robotic lean to it. It actually makes the more robotic, emotionless Cybermen more chilling in the modern age as it now becomes clear that the Cybermen perfected their goal to be more robot than human. The serial also cleverly makes it where the Cybermen aren’t the ONLY threat. I truly love that the bitter and impulsive General Cutler is just as much of an antagonist as the Cybermen are, with his desire to kill them before they kill Earth being potentially more damaging if he ever got away with his plans. It goes along with a recurring theme of this show in the modern age where those who try to be the victor in an unnecessary war tend to destroy themselves. Cutler dies because he attracted Cybermen attention with the warhead and the Cybermen die because their planet burned up when they could have asked for assistance with their problem instead of destroying the Earth for survival. It’s handled really well, with Polly and Ben still continuing to be useful additions to the cast as they do all they can to stop both Cutler and the Cybermen. Mainly because they have to with The Doctor checking out for when things get their most deadly.

Speaking of, the one thing that holds the serial back is The First Doctor’s exit. This was his final adventure, and he doesn’t do much aside from telling people what to do and taking a nap. By the time his regeneration begins, it all goes by so fast that it feels like he’s being rushed out the door. In a way…he kind of is. Due to age catching up with him, William Hartnell was forced to leave the show because his memory problems and exhaustion were getting difficult to film around. So now they had to get him out of the show for his own good, all while making one last serial as a final goodbye to this actor. However, it doesn’t change how…off his farewell feels. He’s not the triumphant hero who stopped The Cybermen and he didn’t get any final words to make his goodbye feel haunting or bittersweet. Future Doctors got this chance, even ones who decided to leave on their own accord like David Tennant or Matt Smith. It’s actually kind of sad that William Hartnel didn’t get the same treatment and that the writers would only learn their lesson for FUTURE generations. His flawed departure is the one thing that holds back what is admittedly a well-made serial.

And that’s it. That’s the last adventure with The First Doctor. But before I talk about my overall thoughts with this man, I should first discuss some other characters. Characters who are important to any Doctor no matter WHO (haha) they are…

THE COMPANIONS

Doctor Who would not be the show that it is without the companions. They’re frequently the audience surrogates, experiencing new adventures alongside The Doctor while assisting them across space and time. One thing that Chris Chibnall did correctly is point out that the companions are the true power of The Doctor and are worth talking about within the same breath. However, it DOES get a little tricky on who’s considered a companion or not. And trust me when I say it’ll get trickier as time goes on. So, for the sake of sanity, I’ll say that a companion is a recurring character who travels with The Doctor in the TARDIS and is there for more than one episode (Or serial, in this case). With those rules that I’ll probably break in the future out of the way, let’s begin with each companion as they left us.

Susan: I have…complicated feelings towards Susan. She had great chemistry within the group, did well as the wide-eyed, naive child who was excited for everything, and I was truly sad to see her go…But while my heart was sad, my ears were eternally grateful.

Yeah, as sweet a character as Susan is, she wouldn’t. Stop. F**KING. SCREAMING. Every time danger happened, she would always go, “AH! AH! GRANDFATHER! IAN! BARBARA! AH-AH!” Everytime. And when Susan was part of the group, having fun with them, being just as silly as the others, THAT’S when Susan worked. She was “The Young One,” acting as someone who the others would look after but still treat with respect as they knew Susan was capable of so much more than SCREAMING. As a member of the group, Susan worked great. As someone who could face danger…Let’s just say that my ears will be bleeding less now that she’s gone.

Ian: It’s weird that a college professor has more of a hero’s heart than the titular character of our show, but I’m not entirely complaining. Ian was a solid companion, willing to take charge for the sake of the group and having some great interactions with The Doctor. You could tell he wanted to strangle the old man, but also enjoyed The Doctor’s company as they shared a similar spirit. They both consider themselves leaders of the party and find conflict when one has an idea they believe is better than the other’s. After a while, they learn to work together and you feel that trust they have thanks to them realizing they’re basically the same kind of men who want the same kind of things. It DOES tend to feel that Ian steals the show at times, but it doesn’t change how much of an entertaining and perhaps even inspiring character Ian can be. He went through so much for The Doctor and the others, being the hero that they need and being charming as hell when doing it.

Barbara: Barbara’s sort of the character that has a well-defined relationship with everyone in the TARDIS. She’s a supportive, motherly figure to Susan and Vicki, treating them with respect while calming them down during intense times. With Ian, she’s a good friend and ONLY a friend. I’m actually glad that she was never forced into a love-interest role with him. There were so many moments where that could have been a possibility with how often those two are paired together, but it’s nice that they remained as close friends who can rely and help one another when the time comes. Not every man and woman needs to end up dating in the end. As for how Barbara is with The Doctor, where Ian and The Doctor are the same in a goal-driven level, The Doctor and Barbara are the same through an INTELLECTUAL one. They often share the same kind of thoughts and curiosity for each adventure they go on, and when they argue, you can tell it’s between two people who are of the same mind but with different opinions. It’s done well and I appreciate seeing these two interact the most. I also appreciate that Barbara stood strong in the face of danger, being just as valuable of a helping hand as the others are and not being a damsel in distress. Sure, she was like that SOMETIMES, but for the sixties this was likely the most independent a woman could get on television. Barbara was a strong character, and likely my favorite amongst the original companions.

Vicki: I was very worried that Vicki was going to turn out to be Susan 2.0, and in a lot of ways, she is. She was very much the young one who was commonly paired up with The Doctor or Barbara as she oozed with childish naivety. Even her exit was nearly identical to Susan’s, except that Susan’s was handled better because The Doctor at least said goodbye. Still, while very similar to Susan, there were some things that I did like a little more with Vicki. For one, she didn’t scream as much…thank FRICK! And two, she was a bit more proactive. Instead of screaming for Ian, Barabara, and The Doctor, Vicki found solutions herself and was frequently the one who helped save the day. I appreciate that, as it helps set her apart more from Susan and gives fans a different kind of naive character that’s endearing in her OWN way. I will say that it feels weird that The Doctor treats Vicki with more respect than his actual GRANDDAUGHTER at times, but this one isn’t screaming too often, so I don’t blame him. Vicki’s a little too much the same, but in some ways, I’d definitely say she’s a bit of an improvement, as mean as it is to admit.

Katarina: Does she count? She doesn’t really go past a single serial…Aw, screw it. She traveled in the TARDIS and helped the group for some time. I’ll say she counts.

And there’s not much to say about Katarina. She was along for the ride for such a short time, not really given a chance to stand out between the young characters like Susan or Vicki. There is this bit of naivety due to her seeing technology for the first time and mistaking The Doctor as a god, but there’s not enough time to develop that idea further and show her capabilities. I will say, though, that she gets the DARKEST exit of any companion I’ve seen. It’s sudden and unceremonious, dying because of some stupid maniac trying to escape his personal Hell. What’s worse is that it’s left to interpretation as to whether or not her death was an accident. Because she was from the distant past and had no knowledge of technology or buttons, it’s unknown if she sacrificed herself to stop the others from going back to The Daleks or because she didn’t know what button opened the door. A character that got to see the universe for the first time, thinking she was a part of something perfect, only to die in an unpredictable circumstance. She had a short amount of time, but I’m with The Doctor. I hope she found that perfection.

Steven: I. Do. NOT care for Steven. It feels like the writers were trying to make him Ian’s replacement as the heroic figure that was often at odds with The Doctor. Except that Steven is very much NOT that. He’s more like this bumbling buffoon who caused more problems as he constantly needed to be rescued by The Doctor and even Vicki at times. The very SECOND that proves how useless he could be was during his introduction when he ran to get back his teddy bear during a grueling escape from The Daleks. You COULD make the argument that the writers wanted to slowly develop Steven into a more heroic character, but there was barely any progression with him constantly being the butt of every joke. The only time he felt useful was during his last appearance, which I can appreciate. Again, they let him leave with some dignity intact and I’m grateful that he and The Doctor left on good terms. The two of them had a lot of one-on-one times with Steven having a great amount of trust towards The Doctor despite the constant jabs The Doctor gave. The Doctor admires every companion he lets tag along, and I love that it’s no different with Steven, even if I was more glad to see him gone.

Dodo: I…am incredibly indifferent towards Dodo. I don’t HATE her, I guess I could say that. She never really made my ears bleed like Susan did, but, at the same time, she wasn’t really the most useful companion. Dodo was either a damsel for The Doctor to save or someone that CAUSED a problem instead of leading to a solution. In a way, she’s more of what I expected Vicki to be: A downgrade rather than an upgrade who never really got a chance to shine as a worthy member of the group. Even Steven seemed more proactive than her, and that is a crime. And I’m pretty sure even the writers weren’t sure what to do with her either, given how they just…kicked Dodo out of the series without any proper exit. If Steven could get a proper ending, then so could Dodo. Regardless, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m going to miss her. Not too much, anyway. I didn’t mind her existence in the show, but I won’t lose sleep with her being gone. Sorry.

Ben and Polly: Yeah, might as well lump these two together. They weren’t on this run for long, and I assume they’ll be more dynamic characters when we talk about Number Two. For now, I’ll say that they’re fairly useful, saving the day with cunning and bravery. I wish Ben was a LITTLE less whiny and Polly a lot less of a damsel, but who knows? Maybe they’ll improve with The Second Doctor.

But that’s enough with the companions. Let’s finally talk about the man who started it all…

THE DOCTOR

The Doctor, no matter the iteration, is one of my favorite fictional characters. I ADORE a character who solves problems through wit, prefers not to use violence but will if pushed to their limits, and is the kindest being in the universe who will also destroy you if you hurt anyone they love. The Doctor is a being of many contradictions, who’s personality may fluctuate throughout the generations but still, at their core, is a caring being who won’t let ANYTHING stop them from doing what’s right.

…So to see The Doctor start off as this old fart who constantly complains while everyone does everything, causes problems for others, and sometimes cowardly bends to the will of enemies was a definite SHOCK to the system. The Doctor did NOT start out as the nobel hero I know them now as. It was actually kind of frustrating to see him stand off to the side while Ian took charge of everything. THIS would be the person who defeated countless enemies all over the universe? The person who sets out to save lives and regrets the ones they lost? That all started with someone who purposely trapped him and his companions on a distant planet just so they could explore? I couldn’t believe it, but thankfully the writers knew this neat little trick to storytelling: Character development.

Slowly but surely, The First Doctor does become more and more like the character I now adore. He fought Daleks after knowing how dangerous they are, weeped for the friends he had to let go, and outsmarted enemies rather than overpower them. He even gained The Doctor’s silliness and sense of humor. Just look at his grin as he scared enemies off after pretending to be a Dalek. The man relished in the chaos he brought, and it was fun to see…Except when he got giddy for being the one who caused Rome to burn down to the ground. Still have no idea what that was about.

Now, things weren’t always perfect. The First Doctor, while improved over time, still never became the heroic badass I know him NOW as, relying on his companions to do most of the work while he’s off having his own fun. Still, that’s where him being the FIRST comes into play. I can absolutely buy that it would take a few regenerations before he became The Doctor I know and love. As is, I’ll say that The First Doctor is an interesting, albeit off-putting, look into what The Doctor USED to be. It wasn’t always good, but I had my fun and I’ll miss this goofy old man.

And with that, we close off The First Doctor’s run. Most of it was fun, a lot was more dull than I expected it to be, and there were both good and bad surprises given to me through this journey into The First Doctor's adventures. It was great to finally see how this show I love started out, and it’s only the beginning from here. Tune in next time when it’s out with the old and in with the…significantly less old as we talk about The Second Doctor’s run.

#doctor who #classic who #classic doctor who #the first doctor #the doctor #doctor who susan #ian chesterton #barbara wright #doctor who vicki #long post #it was nineteen pages on one google doc #sorry #what i thought about #doctor who reviews

[mindareadsoots]

I should have known better than to say I would get to the episode wrap-up “tomorrow” when I knew darn well I had back to back D&D games and an FF14 stream all weekend.

But taking an extra day did give me a chance to rewatch the episode and collect my thoughts. All in all, this was an incredibly strong finale! My only real complaint about it is that Luz’s friends didn’t get to do much. They gave Luz some words of encouragement, and started taking the people off of their shelves in the Archives, and that’s about it. I was expecting them to start reviving people and raising an army to help fight Belos, but I suppose that would have added even more time to this already packed finale. 

The Collector had a great character arc. They were always more ignorant of their actions than evil, and it’s clear that they still have a lot to learn, even though they’ve started down the right path. I know a few people were expecting the Collector to turn into an irredeemably evil villain, which always seemed weird to me given his nature. But there is good news for those people because they have a version of that character with the unseen Archivists.

It’s pretty clear that the Archivists are the real villains of the Collector race. They were responsible for wiping out the titans, and they allowed the Collector to take the fall for their actions. Dana says there are currently no plans to continue the show, but if she and Disney ever do agree on a revival, the Archivists have been set up as a potential new BBEG for any future storylines. That, along with the joke about a spin-off for Eda and Lily’s school days means that this franchise definitely has a couple of doors open if Disney realizes their mistake in canceling the show.

Speaking of BBEGs, Belos has been a fantastic villain. The Owl House has always had some influence from FMA, and much like the final villain of that manga, Belos dies having been broken and beaten both physically and philosophically and while showing not even a hint of remorse. 

It almost seems like he might have a moment of self-reflection as he calls Luz, “Just as evil, manipulative, and unforgivable... as those witches,” but the sheer irony of that line sails right over his head. I’ve seen some theorizing that Luz might have summoned the rain that destroyed Belos with her titan powers, but I like to imagine that Papa Titan did it right before leaving this world forever. One last kick in the teeth after fighting Belos from beyond the grave for centuries.

Luz is still amazing, and her Titan form is freaking sweet. There’s something pretty significant about the fact that Belos and Luz both draw their power from the same place in the final battle. Belos stole the titan’s power and used it to turn himself into a physical disease spreading across the land. Whereas Luz was given the same power freely, and used it as a pure expression of magic. 

Although Luz lost her glyph magic, it’s clear that her days of magical training are far from over thanks to String Bean and King’s burgeoning power. There has always been a bit of subtext of Luz being a special needs student. She can’t learn to do magic the same way other witches can, and so has always had to find her own way of doing things, and that process will continue into her college years.

And on that topic, the epilogue chapter of this episode was fantastic. Beautifully animated and set to beautiful music (in fact, all of the music in this episode was excellent). It gave us just enough of a glimpse into the future to see where all of these characters are as they grow up. 

I saw somebody point out the irony that all of the queer couples get hard confirmations in the finale, but the one straight couple, Huntlow, is left somewhat ambiguous. There are certainly implications with the way they act, but there are no undeniable facts like a kiss or a pair of wedding rings. It’s a perfect reversal of the usual situation where queer ships are given a little bit of ambiguity just in case the homophobes get mad. I don’t know if that was the intention, but it is hilarious if it was. (And come on, Hunter and Willow are totally a couple, just look at them lol)

Like I said earlier, the door is open for this series to come back some day in the future. Disney has reportedly been surprised by the success of this season, and there are a couple of plot hooks out there for a follow-up series, but all in all this was a fantastic sendoff to a show that was cut short!

#the owl house #watching and dreaming #minda reads #minda watches toh #tohs3e3