#idk i have a lot of feelings

[septxwber]

Therapy

#can’t seem to move on #sadness #and a bit of rage #idk I have a lot of feelings #kidding I might be close to acceptance #the atlas complex #g thoughts

[gcldencrownofsorrow]

I just think when it comes to Tommen people are being really unfair on Cers. and i have a lot of thoughts and feelings. and so under the cut you will find me ranting. and it might be inconsistant but what ever. also if you have points i’d love to hear them. 

People are just out here claiming Cers doesn’t love him, and that she is trying to use him ???? and liike ?? ?do people not know how to read? 

She is trying, with all her might to  to protect him. She didn’t do the walk of attornment because she was sick of being tortured. she did it because she genuinely believes his life is in danger. 

like Yes i agree she is not being a good mother to him, especially by modern standards, she is being abusive towards him. but the Westerosi system is not build to accommodate an 8 year old with a gentle heart.  it’s brutal. and she is painfully aware of just how brutal it is. it’s a system that murdered her 13 year old only a few months prior to where we last see her. She is not wrong for thinking he needs to toughen up, fast. the system is wrong for putting him in a position where he has to toughen up. 

And i don’t want to hear no one talk about her not loving him, that goes against the actual text. 

when Tommen is being cute and gleeful about jousting, going all “did you see me mama” she is so proud of her boy, she almost ousts herself, about his bio dad. opening herself up to snarky remarks form Marg. 

Cersei who never cries, except for with Jaime.  Who gives out to herself, for crying about Joffrey dying, and thinking Tommen might be murdered too. cries for joy, when thinking Tommen would be safe. 

   He seemed surprised when Cersei gathered him up in her arms and kissed him on his brow. "What's that for, Mother? Why are you crying?" Because you're safe, she wanted to tell him. Because no harm will ever come to you. "You are mistaken. A lion never cries."

here again, we see her try to pass on the lessons she believes will help him rule. and just because we as readers know emotional suppression is unhealthy, and even unhelpful, it’s all Cersei has been taught. it’s what parenting and guidance looks like to her. she was raised on; “Dry those tears little one, have you ever seen a lion weep?”  and so, as is the nature of generational trauma. she passes it on to Tommen. because that's what she thinks is good parenting.  

#idk i have a lot of feelings #but if ya say my girl doesnt love her kids #or that she only cares about joff #i will fight you with my bare fists #meet me under the street lights fucker

[gh0s1y]

also like god. right? there are 6000 gods in hinduism but there is also only one god in hinduism. in home and the world (or ghore baire as we know it. SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRANSLATED AS INS AND OUTS but tagore wanted home and world so. ok.) all three characters are differently involved in the nationalism movement, BUT they are also all looking for god. nikhil keeps using the metpahor of sitting outside an empty temple which gets cut out from one of the translations. which. its so important didnt tagore get what hes done. theres bimala who looks for god in men then finds god in herself and then her god is taken by a man again and then she loses god all together. sandips god is himself, bimala and the nation itself similtenously and he calls himself godmaker but he knows hes not!! hes just looking for god like the other two. theres only Amulya who doesnt care for god. hes just a young boy. victim to all the search for god. and his potential. just a young boy who loved with his whole heart. pure and naive. in this paper i argue the god in amulya drives--

#jou.exe #idk i have a lot of feelings

[aarchimedes]

for context: I read the hobbit first over the course of two years when I was like 13, but I'm only now starting to read lotr. having a blast tho!

anyways, reblog if you feel like it 🙌🏻

#lord of the rings #the hobbit #lotr #hobbit #yeah guys idk i just feel like most people read it really young #but jolkein is really wordy and idk how y'all got through that at 8 yo #my attention span could neverrrrrr #obviously not as wordy as like. les mis. but you know what i mean. #lots and lots of context all the time. love that for his worldbuilding not so much for my hold on the plot #and yes i have watched the movies #i didn't completely miss the cultural zeitgeist #yay first time making a poll! if you vote or read my tags this far you are a gem 🫶🏻 #edit: i realize i spelled tolkien wrong. i feel like this proves my point #but also i feel like thats something you spell with your heart and not your mind

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[writeitinsharpie]

i have a thought about pjo that i can't quite articulate but it goes along the lines of:

athena gave annabeth as a gift to frederick because she liked his search for knowledge. in athena's eyes, any action of annabeth's reflects herself, which is why annabeth 'embarrassing' her had such strong consequences

poseidon fell in love with impertinent, stubborn sally jackson. percy wasn't a gift to her - he is a cumulation of all of her stubborn, steadfast love.

why wouldn't poseidon still love and aid percy when all of percy's insolence is why he loved sally in the first place?

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #sharpie says shit #pjo series #pjo tv show #annabeth chase #poseidon #athena #sally jackson #frederick chase #idk if i said it right #but basically #athena sees her children as boons she has given to the world #poseidon sees percy as a reflection of the woman he loved enough to break a vow for #annabeth sassing the gods is an embarrassment #percy sassing the gods is him being the Son of Sally Jackson #idk i just have a lot of feelings

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes

#ml #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #okay i lied i do have justifications #adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick #it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH #and marinette would absolutely spoil him #but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell #but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating #meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow #like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe #so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat #adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[mroddmod]

little scrapped comic bc it felt a bit ooc to me in hindsight

#tbb #the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #the bad batch season 3 #tbb tech #tbb omega #i was worried that this wouldn’t really come across as i intended #i’ve heard a lot of people complain about the characterization of tech in fanon #they make him a lot less capable than he is in canon just because he is the ‘nerd’ of the team #which i totally agree with #so i didn’t want it to seem like i was doing the same #i just think that tech would have a difficultly expressing some of his vulnerability around his brothers because they are so often stoic #(and frequently make fun of one another) #and omega might be the first person he feels comfortable in letting that side of him show #idk #just a sweet idea to me #anyway i decided i wasn’t going to finish this because of my fear of being misinterpreted but i did like how these sketches turned out #so here :) #a little treat #mods art #my art #mods draws #star wars #sw tbb #star wars the bad batch

[fiendishartist2]

redraw of this post from bunnyfarm's release

kofi|instagram

#my last piece kinda disappointed me just bc i feel like i can do better #idk i think my style is taking a turn and im not sure how to work w it yet. i like messy art that looks kind of childish?- #-if that makes sense #but that kind of clashes w my way of drawing and i also have like no energy or creativity left bc of school </3 so its hard to draw #at least stuff that i really like that are like fully rendered and not just doodles or character standing w white background lol #so i took inspo from an old piece of mine to make this and sort of update it and i really like it!! i think my colours are way better #in the original they were kinda washed out i think and this is a lot more striking #me when primary colours #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #the walten files #twf #bunnyfarm #sophie walten #jack walten #felix kranken #twf spoilers #tw eyestrain

[chiptrillino]

...older Fire Lord Zuko with a sheer top and his tits out you say?

ID: three drawings of aged-up zuko from Avatar the last airbender as fire lord. on the left side a full body of zuko front view. In the middle, zuko from the waist up leaning over a cluttered table growling and spitting flames at the viewer. In the third image on the right, zuko from the waist up sits bored and exhausted in his chair. cluttered desk and paperwork in front of him. End ID

I probably did advertise the sheer top wrong! it's more like a robe! just… a bit seethrough… because… you know… self-indulgence…? for me… ? for us? (yes he only has one lense in his his glasses becasue we in the fandom just know why!)

art-blog: chiptrillino-art

#chip!ask #chip!art #zuko #atla #fire lord zuko #me finishing art??? uhm... maybe? idk #listen sometimes you need to like... just go by vibes because you have to get it out of your system.... #and you don't feel like fact checking if this is accurate or not you just saw it thought it was preatty kind of fit and went with it #that... that is the result of that... -sweats- #and then you kind of like it a lot.... #also fight me i refuse to give him a propper top knot! #it will always be messy... some how... this guy is just a mess... fight me! #the loser lord #said apriciative #i was vary close to give him just a monikel but i didn't know how to attach it #also glasses gaang yaiiiii

[saturnsocoolioyep]

In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"

#on a definitely unrelated note the contamination obsessive thoughts are in fact still there and still upsetting #turns out when you take care to avoid things that trigger and upset you... #those things still trigger and upset you even if youve avoided them for a while #😱🤯 #ptsd #cptsd #trauma #recovery #disabled #autistic adult #actually autistic #<- idk if thats a good tag or not it just came up suggested when i typed autism so #ocd #<- not dxed and not even sure if i feel comfy self dxing w ocd but i definitely have upsetting obsessive + compulsive tendencies + thoughts #that i struggle with a lot so #medication #trauma recovery #triggers #arfid #disability #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #audhd

[shimmershy]

I've been longing for Daisies to push through the floor And I wish plant life would grow all around me So I won't feel dead anymore

#my art #undertale #chara #chara dreemurr #safeutdr #i couldn't think of a caption so i looked through my playlist to find good lyrics that would fit and really vibed with these #from Plant Life by Owl City. #i think it matches this one well. #photo in the bg was taken by me once again! I'm having a lot of fun with these sorta multimedia drawings. #well. I'm technically just drawing over a photo. but idk it feels more abstract to me. lots of fun. #i feel like i can communicate feelings/vibes better like this. <-bad at drawing backgrounds #🌼

[weewoo911]

Thinking about this and So that was okay? and I don’t think you’re ready and I didn’t wanna pressure you and Are you absolutely sure about this?

I just have really strong feelings about characters who are trying to be the person they needed when they were younger

#911 abc #911 spoilers #bucktommy #Tommy kinard #i just think he’s neat ❤️ #idk i just have a lot of feelings 😭😭😭 #I am once again rotating blorbos in my mind like a microwave

[hensel-x]

just sleep.

#my art #my chemical romance #mcr art #gerard way #nurse gerard way #i have a lot of FEELINGS for that nurse okay #angel literal angel #maybe its cause i spent so much time at hospitals as a child idk

[kyoukoswife]

you ever think abt what if you gave a girl your whole life but she didnt even want it? you gave her your life to protect her and she threw you away?? what if even after that you still took care of her the best you could???? and then when you next see her shes not even her???? because you gave her your whole life to save her but you couldnt protect her?????? wouldnt that fuck you up?????? wouldnt that be so painful????????? you ever think about that?????

look at the full size image for better quality:>

#gtn #gtn spoilers #htn #htn spoilers #gideon the ninth #saphy i SWEAR TO GOD if you see this #you BETTER have one of these tags blocked #🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 #anyways idk how this looks ive spent about 10000 hours looking at it #and ive had to fix so many things that made her look gooft #so maybe ill delete tmr #maybe i wont tho who knows #ive been feelin a lot of feelings abt gideon #poor girly #wait i forgot to tag #gideon nav #tlt #tlt fanart #the locked tomb #gideon spoilers #its night time im eepy