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#idk what this is i just wanted it to be angsty
theyluvkarolina · 15 hours
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Pook I know this might be extremely detailed, but can I request one where its max and reader but reader and max used to date and now max is with a new girl? But reader is still in love with him? Social media type layout? Sorry if that's like heavily detailed, btw love your Lando x reader (specifically the one with the pizza date thing.)
𝐈’𝐋𝐋 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍
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· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` one day, i will stop falling in love with you. ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Max and Y/N were the best couple on the paddock. Until, things came crashing down after Max says “I want to focus on my career” only to find himself with a new girl. And it hurts so much.
𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ Let You Break My Heart Again - Laufey
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ Ex!Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ angsty? (I hope it is 😭), potential cheating, unrequited love, max is being a asshole (i promise i still love him @maxtermind)
𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ ahhh tysm for the love! I appreciate it sm! i’m so sorry your request took so long, things have been hectic 😭 also, photos of kelly will be blurred because i won’t be using her as the new gf. I don’t like using current photos of drivers gfs and painting them as the villians in fanfics. i hope you guys understand! I just made up some random girl name for the new gf (Annelise Beringer) lol. enjoy!!
part 2??? 🤭🤭
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y/n.l/n
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liked by lilymunihe, alexandrasaintmleux, fransica.cgomes and others
y/n.l/n girls night :)
tagged ; lilymunihe, alexandrasaintmleux, fransica.cgomes, & rebeccadonaldson
2,746 comments
alexandrasaintmleux 🩷 👭
→ y/n.l/n ✔︎ the love of my life 🥹 → charles_leclerc ✔︎ that is my girlfriend??? → y/n.l/n ✔︎ not anymore. my gf, my dog, and my house now leclerc. → charles_leclerc ✔︎ SINCE WHEN DID YOU TAKE CUSTODY OF MY DOG?? AND WE ARE LETTING YOU SAY HERE FOR FREE??
username1 if there’s a girls night, you know you fucked up.
username2 i hope y/n is okay :(
→ username3 i mean, leaving someone after 8 years hurts, i doubt she would recover from this for a while.
username4 stop the girls hanging out to cheer her up 🙁🙁
rebeccadonaldson ✔︎ we have to do this more often ❤️
→ y/n.l/n ✔︎ as long as it’s not under my circumstances i’m all for it 😩 → username5 Y/N 😭😭 → username6 what in the world did max do to her 💀 → lilymunihe ✔︎ GIRL. → fransica.cgomes ✔︎ i think another girls night is in order. → y/n.l/n ✔︎ @ pierregasly control you’re girl before she drags me to every store possible to cheer me up. → pierregasly ✔︎ sorry. kika wears the pants in this relationship. → charles_leclerc ✔︎ don’t worry mate, we can tell.
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y/n.l/n ✔︎
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liked by landonorris, rebeccadonaldson, italyexplores and others
y/n.l/n buongiorno italia! spent the trip with my favorite girls 🩷
tagged ; lilymunihe, alexandrasaintmleux, fransica.cgomes, & rebeccadonaldson
3,104 comments
username7 i’m so happy the girls are there to support y/n after what max did :(
→ username8 especially after the rumors now circulating… poor girl → username9 rumors??? what rumors??!? → username10 based off the rumors, Max’s dad wasn’t happy with him dating Y/N. Something about her being too “normal”. And instead wants Max to be with a dutch-german actress named Annelise Beringer. the whole “we want to focus on our careers” is a cover up story. This all being before Max’s home race in Zandvoort. → username11 that’s actually so sad if true… y/n deserves better. do you know if max ever put up a fight for their relationship??? → username10 that I don’t know… but I hope he did…
username NABOKOV??? you have TASTE.
username oh to have enough money to go on a trip to italy and be on a boat
username idk who i want to be they are all so stunning 😩😩
lilymunihe ✔︎ men suck guys
Liked by y/n.l/n!
→ alexalbon ✔︎ uhmmm i’m right here?? → lilymunihe ✔︎ uhmm… i said what i said?? → alexalbon ✔︎ defend me here @ pierregasly → fransica.cgomes ✔︎ pierre literally stood me up in a restaurant? → pierregasly ✔︎ kika, first of all i did not stand you up, second of all, I left to go to the bathroom for 5 minutes? → fransica.cgomes ✔︎ he hates me guys 😭😭😭 → username11 I CAN’T WITH THESE COMMENTS
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maxverstappen1 ✔︎
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liked by redbullracing, schecoperez, f1 and others
maxverstappen1 another race, another podium! 🏆 (Might get Jimmy and Sassy a new sibling 😆 )
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username12 who tf is that second hand Max Emillian Verstappen.
→ username13 get that woman OUT. justice for y/n. → username14 i really hope those rumors aren’t true… → username15 why are you all so invested in his personal life… he doesn’t need to disclose everything. → username16 yeah but someone decided to maybe move on from their ex gf of 8 years in 3-4 MONTHS???
redbullracing ✔︎ once again! 👏
→ username17 how to make red bull stop winning 🧑‍💻 → redbullracing ✔︎ not possible! 😉 → scuderiaferrari ✔︎ crash into them → redbullracing ✔︎ … i think i’m going to stay far away from you guys next race.
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maxverstappen1 ✔︎
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maxverstappen1 my favorite supporter from the bottom of my heart!
tagged ; annelise.beringer
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charlesleclerc ✔︎ oh how wonderful 🙂
→ username18 bro does NOT approve → username19 THE SARCASM…
alexandrasaintmleux how..lovely!
→ rebeccadonaldson ✔︎ …cute! → fransica.cgomes ✔︎ wow!! 🤯 → lilymunihe✔︎ awww!! (i’m puking) → username20 the bf effect 💀
annelise.beringer ✔︎ mijn liefje 💋
→ maxverstappen1 ✔︎ ❤️
username21 y/n is right there.
Liked by y/n.l/n! Unliked by y/n.l/n! → username22 UHMMMM??? y/n what are you doing here???
username23 anyone else feel like this is all a PR stunt??
→ username24 I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE??? → username25 no bc max could never move that fast from a relationship… especially one as long as 8 years…
username26 not the hard launch 😬
landonorris ✔︎ who?
→ username27 LANDO.
username28 how about… no!!
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(ENG TRANSLATION: I’m going to chop off his dick.)
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𝐀/𝐍 2 ୨୧ tee hee!
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readinglatenights · 2 days
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I saw your looking for Spencer Reid fanfic reccomendations, can you share ones you’ve enjoyed I’m also looking for some recs? 😊
yessssss!!!! idk what specific fics you're into/what you've read, so i'm going to give basic but VERY necessary reads + my reviews off the top of my headd
Wlid nights, wild nights by persephonesgrace on Wattpad > JUST FINISHED READING THIS!! has jumped to my FAVORITE fanfic because of just how immersive and true to the characters it is. The story is something out of a real angsty romantic novel that you'd find at a book store. reader (Y/N) is an imperfect character that you just can't help but root for, and Spencer is written so perfectly. ALL OCS ARE ALSO VERY WELL WRITTEN AND COOL AF. You'll be left wanting more in the best way possible after finishing it.
Here to Misbehave by @imagining-in-the-margins on Ao3 (and tumblr) > age gap, but genuinely if you don't vibe with it, i highly reccomend this author!! such a great piece with a happy ending. also silly goofy meeting due to said age gap which i find funny af
Annoyance by Marli13 on Ao3 > SLOW BURN. ENEMIES TO LOVERS. HAPPY ENDING. I'M CRYING!!!!!!!!!!! She Has Found Me by dontkissthewriter on Ao3 > shorter fic that still sticks in my brain because I love the mutual pining. super sweet and spicy all at once that makes me kick my feet. some authors on tumblr i highly reccomend! - @reiderwriter - LOVED THEIR KINKTOBER - @golden1u5t - @fortheloveofwonderland - @reidsdaisies - @strawbeerossi - (their current story, August, is killing me.) - @reidmotif okay i can't think if any others right now... if you need more please ask me!!
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norrizzandpia · 1 day
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hey, totally ok if it’s not ur vibe, but i’d love to see an oscar fic where he’s helping his girlfriend or a childhood best friend when she’s feeling a bit down.
i keep thinking about that man helping clean a depression room and telling his girl not to be embarrassed and he’s there to help and they get it sorted and he just holds her. makes sure she’s eaten and drank something.
even if it’s just a drabble, i’d really appreciate it :) need that kinda care in my life rn, even if it’s fictional.
I made this girlfriend because it just felt softer idk
To Be Loved Is To Be Seen (OP81)
Summary: Oscar knows his girlfriend well and it’s obvious to him when she starts breaking down. He’s happy to help or, more specifically, remind her how worth it she is.
Warnings: this one is HEAVY on the family trouble, depression, anxiety, VERY ANGSTY but def cutest HAPPY ENDING
Note: i didn’t know if you wanted reader to be in a rut or have a reason for it so i just made a reason
Y/n’s first few months of university were hard. Not only was it due to the new course load, but also because of her parents lack of interest when it came to her life. It had been a gradual shift, starting from her last two years in high school and only getting stronger as time went on. They had always been there, overbearing at times, but, now, they posted pictures of their trips around the world, failing to answer her calls and texts. She felt selfish for wanting her parents’ attention as much as she did, but it was hard to fight. There were situations she had never dealt with before, she wanted her mom’s wise words and father’s funny remarks to get through it all. But, she sat alone in the darkness of her room without the guidance counselor she usually could count on. It felt as if she wasn’t enough to keep them there anymore. It was heart wrenching and it stewed within her at such volumes, it became too much.
That’s when Oscar noticed. Her boyfriend had always been attentive, noticing small things about her that no one else did, but the second her smile didn’t reach her eyes and her text messages became less frequent, it was almost as if he was staring her down in anticipation of some sort of sign. He didn’t begin to realize it was related to her parents until he caught a glimpse of her phone when they were together, the screen open to her conversations with her mother and all of the recent texts going completely unanswered. He knew she had always had a rocky relationship with them, but she spoke about them with such respect, he knew it would’ve bothered her to feel so unimportant.
Knocking on her door, his hands clutched the bag of her favorite food he had got on his walk to her apartment. He had planned this evening out for weeks, not telling her about it in worry that she would slip into a facade put together with a fake smile that made his skin crawl.
She opened it, her body tense and tired in a ratty shirt and shorts, “Oscar? What are you doing here?”
It was as if he saw her front go up, her posture straightening and that haunting smile which told him all too well how much pain she was in. He smiled softly, “I thought we could spend the night together.”
She closed the door enough to only peek her head through, “Osc, I’m so sorry, but I can’t tonight. I’m so busy.”
He stayed put, “That’s okay. I can wait on your couch.”
“No, Osc,” She said firmly, her face turning in the light and exposing the dark bags under her eyes.
He stepped closer to her, putting his hand on the door and looking down at her with a look that made her feel loved, “Y/n, let me in. I know you’re going through it. Let me be with you.”
Her resolve cracked, her smile dropping for a second and water suddenly pooling in her eyes, “You don’t want to come in here.”
He leaned against the door and cupped her cheek, “It won’t make me love you any less.”
With a sigh, Y/n pushed the door open, beckoning the boy into her home. He knew what to expect, he knew what it was like to reach the place she was in. So, when he saw the piles of clothes, half-eaten food on the counter with old dishes in the sink, and her little accessories put in the wrong places, something she would never usually do, he wasn’t surprised. If anything, he was happy she had let him in, literally and figuratively.
She picked at her nails beside him, swaying on her feet as she analyzed his every move. Part of her was trying to ready herself for him to walk out the door, give up on her because of whatever stood before them, but he gently set the food on the floor and ushered her into his embrace. His cheek laid against the top of her head, nestled in her hair, as he tightened his grip around her body. She smelled his cologne and felt his sweatshirt which made him feel all the more warm. There was something about his presence, she would later learn it was how safe she felt, that made the turmoils of her mind quiet as she began to cry. Y/n had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry for people who clearly didn’t care, but as Oscar rubbed her back and whispered how much he loved her, she realized it was never going to work.
Her breaking down wet the material of his sweatshirt, but Oscar just held her tighter, whispering how it was going to be okay and this would all pass.
“You’re so worth it all, Y/n,” He whispered, pecking the top of her ear as he smoothed down her hair.
She clutched his back before Oscar was moving her hands under his hoodie to feel the bare of his skin. He knew she loved that. And she did. Y/n’s tears began to dissipate as he told her why he was there.
“I’m with you in this. You aren’t alone. I’m here for you and I always will be. This,” He gestured to the space around them, holding her face in his hands and forcing her eyes to meet his, “doesn’t scare me at all, love. What does scare me, though, is the attempts at eating on the counter. Have you been eating other than that?”
She shook her head, “I tried. It’s too hard. I’m not hungry ever anymore.”
He titled his head with a small frown, “Well, maybe your favorite food will help, yeah? We’ll sit together and eat. We can go as slow as you want, or as fast. All up to you, baby.”
He kissed her forehead lightly before guiding her to the living room, one of the less dirty places, and setting her down on the cushions. He set it all behind him, not wanting to overwhelm her with everything he got, and took out what he knew she would want first. There was a dull sparkle in her eyes when he handed it to her, his heart lifted. It hadn’t been there when he first arrived.
She opened it slowly, eyeing the food she once ravished in seconds, and taking a utensil to pick at it. He looked at her, waiting patiently for her to take a bite. When she did, however small, he did too. When she did again, he did too.
She stopped, “Why aren’t you eating faster?”
He smiled, “Because I’ll take a bite when you do. I don’t mind, Y/n. I told you I’m in this with you.”
Her eyes gloss over as they dart between him and the food before taking another bite, giggling a bit when Oscar takes one of his own dish. She eats, he does too and their eyes never leave each other, offering unspoken support.
When the plastic boxes are gone and empty, Oscar has glasses of water randomly appearing in his grip, offering them to his girlfriend who has found herself tangled in that soft blanket he got her last Christmas. Her cheeks are a soft pink from the warmth of it coupled with the candle he lit in the midst of their dinner and she smiles when the cool liquid flows down her throat. Oscar stands over her, hands in his pockets and wondering how anyone could possibly ignore her texts. He wants to take a picture of her, remind her parents of the beauty they have in their reach. But, he also knows that any text he sends to them wouldn’t be one he should send to his potential (very likely) in-laws. So, he stays quiet and looks at her with the love she deserves.
“Do you need anything else?” He asks, pushing the hair out of her face.
She shakes her head, “No, I’m good. What movie do you want to watch?”
He kisses her cheek, “It’s up to you. I won’t be watching.”
Her eyebrows knot together and she cocks her head, “Why not? Is this some random pickup line where you’re going to tell me how you’ll only be watching me?”
He laughs, his head back, as he walks toward her room, “No, but that’s a good one. I’ll keep that for later. You put on whatever you want, baby. I’ll be cleaning.”
She crawls to the corner of the couch, watching him begin to pick up her room, “Clean? What? Why?”
He stops, turning around to look at her through the door, “Because I want to help you feel better and I know your apartment is stressing you out. You shouldn’t have to worry, love. Just relax. I’ll be done in a few hours.”
Her mouth is agape as he moves throughout her room, putting things away as if he knows where everything goes. He does, apparently. And when the shock of it wears off, a smile cements itself on her face as she turns on a random movie. She enjoys the soft humming of Oscar in the other room, answering his occasional question about the plot of the movie she’s watching. When he moves to the kitchen, out in the open and available to see what’s on the screen, Y/n falls asleep to the picture of her boyfriend doing her dishes and taking out her trash. Falling asleep with a warm heart mended by someone that has always loved her unconditionally.
She’s awoken by the feeling of soft mattress beneath her and Oscar’s arms heavy around her torso. He’s deep in sleep when she opens her eyes, has her completely enveloped in his grasp on her side. The room is dark, the window open and allowing for a cold breeze to flow through the room. She loves it. It’s cold outside, but Oscar keeps her warm. Her hands move their way up to his head, playing with his hair and staring at the man who has treated her so gently.
Tears fall down her face all so suddenly, sniffling lightly but still waking Oscar in the process.
He’s immediately worried, “What’s wrong?”
Her head drops to his chest, “I just love you so much and can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you stayed here even after seeing the state everything was in, including me.”
His soft hands leave her body and pull her face up to him. His eyes are dilated as he looks at her, “I would’ve done it yesterday and I’ll do it for the rest of our lives. I don’t want you to struggle alone. You don’t deserve that. You’ve done too much of that before you met me.”
If only her younger self could see her now. A younger girl worried she’d never find a man who loved her by seeing her now wholly adored by someone who didn’t just see her, but understood her too. She doesn’t even need to utter the problem, he already knows and she’s caught on to that since the moment he showed up at her door. His carefully chosen words about her worth and how easy it is to love her were all strategically placed in order to fix the cracks deep in her soul that have come undone at the hands of her parents.
“It’s just upsetting that they only loved me.” She whispers and for a second, Oscar doesn’t understand what she’s saying. But, the tense of her words dawns on him and the look on her face unleashes anger in his body. Loved. It’s upsetting that her parents loved her. They no longer do in her eyes. She once had parental support, love, but it’s obvious how transactional, conditional it was now. She got a taste of what it was like to be loved by them, but it was taken away when she needed it the most. She had mentioned to him before that growing up, she felt as if they used her presence to shy away from the problems of their marriage. When she was out of the house, she thought they would separate, but the opposite has happened. She served her purpose, now they throw money at trips to fill the void of what they have refused to face. Disregarded and thrown away, that’s the implications of what she’s confided.
He nods, tears in his eyes, “It’s so unfair of them to treat you this way. They’re your parents. They should be there for you, but they have never known how to love and you were just an unnecessary victim in it all.”
She wipes the moisture from her face, “I should just move on from the way they’ve treated me. I should give them grace because they’re my parents. I should just make peace with it all because this will never be fixed in the way I want it. But, I can’t.”
Oscar kisses the top of her head, “It’s okay that you can’t. That’s completely understandable. Giving grace just because they’re your family members isn’t right, Y/n. Just because there’s a blood relation doesn’t mean you can excuse their behavior. They’re your parents and they have neglected you for ages. You can’t keep giving everything to them, only to get nothing in return. Parents or not, you distance yourself from people who bring you down as much as they do.”
More tears smear against his chest, “But, they’re my parents, Osc.”
It’s as if he doesn’t know what to say because he knows how much she praises their drive and determination, giving her a life of privilege. Though, he stands firm on the idea that no one should be given a second chance if they “love” this way.
“I know, Y/n, and it’s so horrible that you’ve been put in this situation, but I think it would do you some good to let go of a part of them. You’ll go home and see them for birthdays, Christmases, but, in the time between, you don’t have to chase after them. You can find love in other things, happiness in other things. I’ll even do some of it with you. We can take up painting classes like you always wanted, walks in that park down the street that you love, studying in coffee shops, and watching the sunset. Life without them can be freeing.”
He’s right, she thinks. Life without them will be freeing. But, the story of letting go is never easy and finding yourself flipping to past chapters to hold onto something that isn’t there anymore is usual.
However, as she lays tangled in the limbs of Oscar, she finds future chapters to be more exciting, more fulfilling. Her whole life is ahead of her, one including Oscar, and that sudden revelation fills her with an overwhelming relief. His listing of all the things she loves, wants to try desperately reminds her just how in love with her he is. Every action of hers is noted by him and she’s spent years begging for that from her parents. She never got it, but maybe that was because something else softer lied in the cards for her. At times, her parents needed her, but they would always need something else more. Glamorous, shiny, new things that would satisfy them for a time. She would never be enough in the minds of them, but in the mind of Oscar, she was more than enough. It was clear she was everything to him.
A life with him would be different from the one handed to her on a broken, rusty platter. She wanted that with him and the way he looked at her told her he did too. Letting go of the dismissal of people she has killed herself for to make proud was maybe for the best, pushed her in the direction of focusing on Oscar and everything she’s ever wanted. Was this her mending old, deep wounds?
Loved and cherished, she found sleep once more, rejuvenated with hope and a sense of moving on.
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the-witheredroses · 14 hours
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Pt. 2
TW: angst/comfort, reader cries a little and is mentioned to have been in therapy
<< Previous | Next>>
The silence was agonizing. The air felt drowning and heavy. It didn’t help that no one could look at each other.
Soap and you have migrated to the couch after realizing that the conversation probably should be had while sitting.
How are any of you meant to address any of this?
Each of you knew just enough to fill in the blanks, but how is-
“So…” Johnny broke the silence and your train of thought. “How do you all know each other?”
“Really, Soap? That’s how you want to start this?” Gaz remarked, letting his grievance show.
“Aye! How else ye expect this to go?! How ye think I feel knowin’ ye’ve shagged my lass?”
“Jesus Christ…” you groan as you hide behind your hands.
“Not everyone-“ Simon murmured leaning back in with his arms crossed.
“Simon!” You exclaim, revealing your warmed cheeks to everyone.
“Well with the way ye look at ‘er I would’ve guessed otherwise-“
“Okay- no, that’s it-“ you stand in front of them all, pointing as you addressed each. “You- Simon, are meant to be dead, I went to your funeral. Fucks sake, I visit those graves everytime I drive past them!”
Simon couldn’t stand to defend himself, because he knew that already. He’d seen you talking to his and his family’s graves every now and then when he went to see them himself. It had torn him apart to not reveal he was alive, but he’d convinced himself it was for your sake. Even if that meant you’d shed more tears.
“You pushed me away for months before ultimately saying that you needed to move for work, that you couldn’t be with me anymore-“ your eyes still held the hurt from long ago as you gazed at Kyle.
“It wasn’t a complete lie…” Kyle scratched at his head, his poor attempt to redeem himself falling flat.
“Shut it, Garrick. You-“ your finger landed on Price, “Why didn’t you tell me you were in town? I assume you’ve been back for a while, so why didn’t you say anything?”
John knew he had no excuse, so he didn’t attempt to deny his reasoning. “Though’ ye might’ve been with yer other man…”
A hefty exhale escapes you as you hold back from saying more. You could slap him, because how, after all this time, does he not see himself as enough? Instead, your gaze landed on Johnny.
“And you, Johnny, you didn’t really do anything, but still, this could’ve never happened if you or John just told me who else was on the team.”
“Or told us who ye were dating.” Kyle muttering was directed to Johnny, but it earned side eye from you.
“Moral of the story,” you continued, “all of you have been keeping things from me. And now we’re here… and I don’t know what to do or say…” your voice broke a little from the festering emotions. Everyone was quick to their feet to comfort you, John worming his way to the front.
“Aye, lass, there’s no need to cry. We just need to talk this out.” John’s hands cupped your cheeks as the tears threatened to spill. “Maybe we should take a break, take a breather. Later, we can talk one on one with you and each other.”
You nod as you try to calm yourself, doing the short breathing exercises you learned from therapy.
John placed a soft kiss to your forehead before being pushed aside by Johnny. His arms quickly envelop you and he kisses your temple.
“Common lass, let’s get ye out of here for a bit…” Johnny whispered and pulled you into the bedroom, leaving the other men standing in a circle, stuck their own thoughts…
————
Idk what to call this series so feel free to leave some suggestions!
Also didn’t want to make this series too angsty, but reader is definitely gonna need some one-on-one time with each of the boys…
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randomnerd737 · 2 days
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one day Logan and Remus are hanging out, and then Logan starts ranting about some smart person shit, and Remus is kinda bored but he'd felt worse and what Logan was saying was actually pretty interesting so he just sat there and would sometimes ask questions or compare what Logan was talking about to something gross and stuff.
then, Logans years of being brushed aside and his input being treated as a burden and only welcome when it was considered helpful kick in, and he suddenly stops talking and gets all "oh sorry you probably don't care about that" and "this is probably boring you, we can talk about something else if you want". Remus is VERY offended by this.
he goes off about how thats stupid and Logans stupid and he's such a fucking pussy for not talking and why does he think he's so annoying huh? is that a fucking challenge bitch? "boo hoo look at me I'm Logan Sanders and I think I'm soooooo special and that no one wants to hear he talk!" and thats fucking bullshit and it sucks and he sucks!
the whole time Logan is just extremely confused because this is the most negative reaction he has ever gotten to him not talking. and its all very angsty and projectiony and Logan feels weirdly appreciated and its very intrulogical. thank you for coming to my ted talk. (idk why this is so long. I might as well just write it into a fanfic at this point lol.)
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luizd3ad · 1 day
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She's My Religion | Lily Evans x Fem!Reader One Shot
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷
Pairing: Lily Evans x Reader
WC:8,636
TW: mentions of abuse, self-doubt, cursing, little bit of homophobia and use of homophobic slur, use of the word Mud-Blood (not used by reader), use of Y/N, Reader is implied to be a Slytherin but not directly specified, mentions of violence, death threats, It’s kinda angsty, but cute at the end.
Author's Note: I’ve never wrote for Lily so I’m sorry if this is out of character or something idk I tried this is also the longest fic I’ve written I didn’t mean for it to be this long😅.
Summary: What happens when Sirius Blacks little sister and Regulus Blacks twin sister starts to fall for the intelligent and beautiful Lily Evans?
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I made this cute little mood board idk I just love this tbh
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳
Y/N Black had always been seen as the colder Black out of her and her two brothers and that was saying something especially considering her twin, Regulus. 
Regulus and her had been close their whole lifes. Their eldest cousin Andromeda would say they were thick as thieves. Always doing everything together refusing to go or do anything without the other. 
But after years of abuse from their partners and then it only getting worse when their older brother Sirius left she closed up, to the point of even icing Regulus out to an extent.
When Regulus made the choice to mend the bond between him and Sirius, Y/N made it clear that she wanted no part in it. 
In Y/N’s eyes Sirius didn't care, he didn't love her. She knew he didn't. If he did, why would he leave them? Why would he leave her? Especially with those people.
Sirius had always protected Regulus and Y/N as much as he could. He would take punishment, sneak them food if they were forced to go without. 
Eventually protecting them ment having Regulus go to The Potters with him when there was talk of an arranged marriage for Regulus.
Regulus left 12 Grimmauld Place during winter break in their 5th year, Y/N being left once again.  
At that point she'd separated herself from everyone who'd cared for her, admittedly it was mostly her brothers but also the few friends she and Regulus shared.
Sirius had tried many times to talk to Y/N but she never budged, she'd rarely spare him a glance. He was shattered, Sirius felt as if he'd lost his baby sister. 
Regulus took it worse not that he'd admit that to anyone who wasn't Sirius. He had hoped that she'd forgive them at some point and that she'd join them or at the very least understand why they left but she didn't. 
Y/N wouldn't speak, look, or even be in the same room as Regulus if she could help it. 
Regulus lost his twin, his other half, his life line and she didn't even seem to care. 
But she did care she cared so fucking much. 
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
Despite Y/N being cold and dark to those around her, she was smart.
Some would say smarter than Regulus, definitely smarter than Sirius. 
So it came as no surprise to her when the summer between her 5th and 6th year Y/N got word that she was to join the 7th year potions class.
Honestly she didn't care, Walburga was as pleased as she could be and Orion unsurprisingly couldn't care less.
But that's how she found herself being in the potion class the year above and being assigned partners with her. 
Lily Evans. 
Y/N didn't know much about Lily other than she was friends with her brother and his friends, she was smart, a Gryffindor and muggle-born.
Now Y/N didn't care for blood statues. It never made sense to her, the hatred that so many purebloods held for half-bloods or muggle-borns.
It all seemed barbaric and honestly a waste of time.
So, no Y/N didn't care that she was partnered with someone who was a muggle-born. 
She did care however that she was partnered with a friend of Sirius's. And it wasn't just a friend that he would see around and chat up with sometimes no, they were close friends.
This was going to be a problem.
“Hi, I’m Lily! Your Siris’ and Regs’ little sister right?”
Lily stuck out her hand for you to shake with one of the brightest smiles you think you've ever seen. 
You simply roll your eyes and dismiss her hand shake. 
“I prefer to be called by my name, Y/N, rather than being referred to as Sirius and Regulus' sister.”
Lily drops her hand and her smile falls just a tad, not enough for most people to notice, but you did. 
“Of course. I'm sorry, truly.”
“It's fine Evans.”
You say coldly, giving your undivided attention to Slughorn.
The rest of class was spent taking notes mostly with Lily attempting to make small talk every so often. You ignored her for the rest of the class.
You knew Lily was only trying to be nice but you also knew she was only trying to be nice so she could bring up your brothers.  
And talking about them was one of the last things you wanted to do.
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
Days started to pass turning into weeks, weeks turning into months.
You and Lily had been cordial.
You tried your best not to be completely rude to her since she always tried to make small talk and she was kind to you.
You actually grew quite fond of her over time but you didn't think that the two of you were friends by any means.
But you were acquaintances.
And you did like being in her presents.
It had been three months since school had started and Slughorn had announced that there was a project that was due in 2 weeks, right before christmas break would start and you were to work on it with your partner.
You sighed and looked to the side to see a smiling Lily. 
You weren’t upset that you had to do a project with Lily considering she was very smart and you liked being around her, but you were upset knowing that you'd have to spend time with her after class and knowing that where she goes her friends were not far most of the time.
Which meant there was a possibility of seeing her friends, which meant a possibility of seeing Sirius and or Regulus more than you'd like.
“Okay Evans we’ll meet at the library after classes are done so we can just get this done. Please refrain from bringing your friends.”
Lily knew what you meant by that, you were asking her to keep Sirius and Regulus away from you.
Lily chuckled and shook her head.
“They go where they please.”
Translation. She couldn't stop either of them, more specifically Sirius, even if she wanted to. 
“I see. I'll see you later Evans.”
You sigh once more gathering your things to walk away. 
“Bye Y/N.”
It always caught you off guard when she would call you by your first name instead of your surname. 
First names were meant for friends, yet she never called you Black. 
She only ever called you Y/N, as if you were good friends. 
You supposed that was just the type of person Lily was. She was nice to everyone unless they gave her a reason not to be. 
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
After classes you find yourself entering the library. You were expecting to have to wait for Lily but to your surprise she beat you there.
You walk to the table she was occupying, setting your things down.
Once she notices you she looks up from her seat smiling at you.
She had a very beautiful smile, one that made you feel your heart skip a beat for a moment. But you chose to ignore the feeling, deciding, hoping, it meant nothing. 
“How were your classes Y/N?”
Lily asked with genuine curiosity in her eyes. 
Did she actually care? She couldn't possibly care about my day. No, she didn't care, she was just asking to be polite. That was all. You tried to convince yourself.
“It was fine… How about you?”
Lily then went on about her day. She told you her favorite thing she learned that day, a joke her friend Mary told her that made you actually crack a small smile. 
You couldn't help but hold on to every word that came out of her mouth. 
Without you even realizing it Lily talking was easily becoming your favorite part of the days that followed.
You spent every day that week meeting with Lily at the library and you realized you actually really liked spending time with her. She had managed to make you smile a few times which was a rare sight.
Lily had this light to her that you couldn't describe. She was just everything good in the world. 
She was funny, smart, sweet, kind, beautiful and you wanted to spend every moment you could with her. 
You realized as the weekend grew closer you wouldn't have a reason to see her for two days. That bothered you and you couldn't figure out why. 
The two of you were working late in the back of the library. The library was practically empty.
“There's a Hufflepuff party tomorrow night. Are you going?”
“No. Parties aren't really something I enjoy. I’m assuming it’s safe to assume you're going?”
You say giving Lily a small smile.
“Yeah. We're all going… you should come.”
You knew what she meant. Sirius and most likely Regulus were going to be there.
Over the week of working with her she would make little suggestions now and then about seeing or talking to your brothers without blatantly saying so.
You just shook your head looking down at the table.
“I'm okay, thank you for the invitation.”
“Okay well, I'm going to Hogsmeade on sunday. Usually no one comes with me since they're all hungover. Would you like to join me?”
You felt yourself stop breathing. You didn't know why you felt this way. 
It was just Lily, but you've never spent time with Lily outside of an academic setting. 
Was this for the project? Or were you supposed to hang out as friends? Or was it.. More?
Did you want it to be more?
Before you have the chance to answer or contemplate further, your conversation was interrupted.  
“Oi, Black! Three blood traitors wasn’t enough for your line? You decided to become one yourself?”
Avery said, making Mulciber laugh. 
You look up at them about to get up but Lily grabs and squeezes your hand telling you to let it go. 
So you did.
“Aww isn't that cute? You’re shagging the Mud-blood now? Merlin your whole family is full of a bunch of fuckin’ poof-”
Before he can finish his sentence you have him on the ground holding his nose. You felt what some people would refer to as ‘The Black Family Madness’ cloud your mind. 
You thought it was just pure fucking anger, but what did you know?
You look down at Avery while having your wand pointing at Mulciber to keep him where he is, not showing any emotion on your face.
“I could kill you, you know? I could kill both of you. Make it look like self defense. ‘Oh i was so scared they cornered me and I- I didn't know what to do. I was scared for my life'.”
You say the last part in a mocking tone you then crouch in front of Avery looking him dead in the eyes.
“No one would even blink if you two died. Did you know that? I won't do it though because I refuse to risk myself being thrown in Azkaban. Especially for the likes of you, do you know why? It’s simple really, both of your lives put together don't even measure up to mine alone in terms of importance.”
You stand up straight looking at both of them.
“Now you're going to apologize to Evans for caller her such a vile and disgusting name, and if you don’t I will have a letter send to my mother by the end of the night about how I walked in on you two shoving your tongues down each other's throats and how I ‘just don't know what to do!’ and then we can see how your fathers react to just the idea of having ‘poofs’ inside they're line.”
You give them a small smirk while Avery and Mulciber look at each other debating if they're willing to have a rumor like that go around especially since it was a lie.
“And if you think my mother won't believe me. I reassure you, she will. Why would I lie? It wouldn’t benefit me as far as she's concerned and I am as close to a ‘perfect’ child as she'll ever get and if it comes out that the two of you might be shagging then the dirty looks get taken off The Black Family’ and move to The Mulcibers’ and The Averys’. So let's play this one smart boys.”
That seemed to convince Avery enough that he stands up and looks at Lily and forces out an ‘I’m sorry.’ 
Mulciber is a little more hesitant. You send a Stinging Jinx Mulcibers way, he falls to his knees with a small hiss and looks at Lily.
“I'm sorry Evans, really really sorry.”
Mulcibers cried out
“Now. You're both going to leave Evans alone. You are going to keep her name and both of my brothers' names out of your mouths. Am I understood?”
You say with no emotion on your face once again. 
They both let out quiet ‘yes’s’ while scrambling to leave.
After the ‘Madness’ had cleared from your mind it hit you what you did. You didn't feel bad about what you did but you realize you did it all in front of Lily. 
You don't even look at her as you start to gather your things.
“I’m sorry Evans, really. I-I should go.”
You ramble out while trying to walk away. Lily grabs your arm stopping you in your tracks.
“I won't lie and say I agree with what you did, but I don't blame you. I also appreciate you standing up for me. I'm not mad or scared of you Y/N.”
“I should have never done that in front of you. I'm sorry, really.”
“It's okay. I promise. Lets stop working tonight, yeah?”
You nod at Lily.
“Yeah. Okay” 
“So about Hogsmeade?”
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
You were sitting by the entrance of Hogwarts looking down playing with the matching serpent ring that Regulus had got for you and him a few birthdays ago. 
You've never taken it off.
You were just wearing some plain jeans and a jumper you had stolen from Sirius years ago. You find yourself wearing it when you think you might need moral support and you didn't know why but you felt a need to wear it today.
No matter how hurt you might be from your brothers leaving, you still loved them so much. You didn't necessarily blame them for leaving the house or the family, you just wish they were still with you.
You’re taken out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps coming your way. 
You look up and forget how to breathe for a moment. 
There she was. Lily fucking Evans walking towards you she was wearing a white long sleeve shirt and a plaid skirt it was so simple but she looked amazing.
Why are you feeling like this? Why does it feel like every time you're in her presents you feel like you can't breathe?
You've never felt this way before.
“Hey Y/N ready to go?”
“Yes.”
You felt like your words were stuck in your throat. 
She was just so fucking beautiful. 
You didn't talk much on your walk to Hogsmeade. You were too caught up in your head and Lily had noticed that.
“Are you okay Y/N?”
“Yes, I'm fine. How was your party last night?”
You asked, trying to change the subject. LIly knew what you were doing and she let you get away with it.
“It was actually a lot of fun. It would have been a lot more fun if you were there.”
Lily said, sending you a smile. 
You just rolled your eyes playfully with a small smile of your own, letting Lily go on about the things that happened. She told you everything that had happened as if she didn't want you to feel left out. You didn't realize how much a little act like that could make your heart speed up a bit.
By the time you had gotten to Hogmaede Lily was laughing at a story about something her friend Marlenne had done, you were just smiling. Whether you were smiling at the story or at her laugh you didn't know and you didn't want to think about it. You just wanted to enjoy the time with her.
At some point Lily grabbed your hand holding it as you went through multiple shops, you tried not to pay too much attention to how her hand felt in yours. There were a few disagreements here and there when you insisted on paying for the things she wanted.
She in her words 'didn't want you to waste your money’ and you just responded with ‘it's not a waste if it's you.’
She finally stopped fighting you after you told her that you loved spending money on things you knew your mother and father wouldn't agree with. It was one of your little acts of rebellion. Which was true but a part of you also just wanted to spoil her.. But she didn't have to know that.
By the time you two had gotten back to the castle it was almost dark. You walked Lily to the Gryffindor tower still holding her hand.
“You know you could come in right? They want to see you.”
Lily said, squeezing your hand gently to reassure you.
Since the school year started and you wouldn't talk to Regulus he stopped coming down to the dungeons if he could help it, he started to stay in the Gryffindor tower. So other than the few classes you shared and the occasional glances across the great hall you haven't seen your twin in months.
It killed a part of you but you were still so angry and hurt.
“Me and you both know that's not a good idea.”
You said looking down. Lily was about to disagree when the portrait opened out walking James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and last but not least both of your brothers. 
You could hear a pin drop in the corridor outside of the Gryffindor common room.
Sirius and Regulus stare at you without saying a word. No one moves, no one says anything.
You look back at Lily with your jaw clenched and drop her hand, putting your hands in your pockets. You didn't miss the hurt that flashes through her eyes but you didn't focus on it. You just had to get out of there.
“I'll see you later Evans, Yeah?”
You say to Lily mustering up a very small smile at her so she knew you were not upset with her. 
You started to walk away not even acknowledging the presents of anyone else. You do your best to keep walking away ignore the sound of talking down the hall, trying your best to not spare your brothers another glance
You just weren't ready to talk to them and you didn't even know if they actually wanted to talk to you.
So you just continue walking to the dungeons 
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
The next day Lily rushed into potions class, saying how sorry she was and explaining that she didn't know that was going to happen. It was all just poor timing.
All you could do was smile at her and reassure her that you didn't blame her.
You knew she wouldn't do something like that to you,
As the days passed by getting closer to the middle of the week you and Lily continued to get closer. You both would still meet up after classes in the library to finish up your project, the project that you both knew you could have finished, days ago.
You were coming to expect that you possibly had feelings for the girl but you knew she most likely just saw you as a friend.
You both were packing up for the night, you had finally finished with your project with two days to spare. It was a bittersweet moment.
“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?”
You looked up confused but you had a spark of hope in your chest.
“Nothing, probably go to my dorm, read, sleep… Why?”
“I have rounds tonight till 8:30. Do you want to meet after?”
“Um.. Okay? Yes, I'd like that. Um where should we meet?”
Lily then gave you one of her breath taking smiles obviously excited that you agreed.
“I'll come get you after I'm down, just meet me in front of the dungeons around 9?”
“Okay, Yeah.”
You were caught off guard when Lily walked over to you and hugged you.
The only people to have hugged you were your brothers and even then it had been years. You didn't know what to do for a moment so after some hesitation you hugged her back.
You felt her relax into you for a moment. You could smell her perfume, Strawberries and vanilla.
You reluctantly pulled away after a moment. You could see a light blush on her face and you couldn't imagine that you were any better.
“I'll see you later Evans.”
You say giving Lily a small smile and walking away with your things in hand.
Once you left the library you all but ran to your dorm. Your thoughts consume you.
That was a friend hug right? It had to be. Lily was just nice like that. Are friend hugs supposed to last that long though? You wouldn't know you wouldn't ever let anyone you were friends with hug you.
So then why did you let Lily hug you?
Why did you want to do it again?
Before you knew it it was 8:55 and you were waiting in front of the dungouse. You were still over thinking the hug.
Why was something so simple as a hug throwing you off? It didn't make sense.
You continued to think while absentmindedly playing with your ring. You were so lost in thought that you didn't even notice Lily till she put her hand on yours, stopping you from fidgeting.
You look at her and smile slightly.
“Where exactly are we going Evans?”
You ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Now why would I tell you that? Come on.”
Lily gave you a smirk and grabbed you hand leading you to wherever she was taking you. You couldn't help but blush at her holding your hand but you didn't pull away or protest it.
You let out a little chuckle when you finally realized where Lily was leading you.
“Really Evans? The astronomy tower? Seems a little cliché doesn’t it?”
You say with a teasing voice all Lily does is roll her eyes at you as you make it to the top of the tower.
When you get there you see that a few blankets and pillows are lying out.
You just blush again and Lily drags you over and has you sit with her in the pile of blankets and pillows.
“So why here?”
You ask leaning back on your hands.
“It’s just one of my favorite places. I like the stars.”
She says with a little shrug.
“Do you know about Cassiopeia?”
You ask, looking at her as she looks into the sky. Lily just shrugs and looks at you.
“Admittedly I’m not very good at astronomy. I would usually have… um Sirius do my work.”
Lily says looking scared that just mentioning your brother will have you running for the hills.
“Cassiopeia was the queen of Ethiopia; she was married to King Cepheus. One day she had angered Poseidon, she claimed that her and her daughter, Andromeda were more beautiful than the daughters of Nereus. So the sea nymphs, Nereids, asked Poseidon to send a monster to destroy King Cepheus's coast. To appease the monster, Cassiopeia and Cepheus chained Andromeda to a rock as a sacrifice, Perseus rescued Andromeda, but Poseidon still punished Cassiopeia, he took her and hung her in the heavens. Cassiopeia sits on her throne, but during part of the year, she appears upside down in the sky.”
Lily looks at you slightly shocked.
“How do you just know that?”
You chuckle and shake your head lightly.
“Evans, I’m a Black. It’s basically a requirement to know about the stars.”
“Okay fine, tell me about that one.”
She says point at a random constellation.
You tell her about every constellation or star she points at for a while, not noticing that the two of you have subconsciously been moving closer and closer. Eventually your shoulders are touching hands brushing against each other every so often. 
“Okay how about that one?”
She pointed at one of the clusters of stars you hoped she wouldn’t have pointed out.
Then again it was bound to happen.
“Canis Major the ‘great dog’ it’s built around Sirius, the Dog Star, the brightest star in the sky.”
You say looking down, playing with the ring on your finger.
There’s a silence for a moment, it’s not awkward but not necessarily comfortable either.
“They miss you, you know?”
Lily says, looking at you.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
You say not looking at her at all.
A part of you knew you couldn’t look at her because if you did you’d tell her anything she wanted to know.
“They really do. Sirius and Regulus ask me how you're doing all the time Y/N.”
Lily says grabbing your hand to stop you from playing with your ring once again.
“Lily please.”
You say looking up at her. 
Your breath gets stuck in your throat for a moment once you realize how close the two of you are.
You're so caught up in the moment, so captivated by the most beautiful pair of green eyes you've ever seen that you didn't even notice.
You didn't even notice that you called her Lily. Not Evans. 
Just Lily.
“You know you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen?”
Lily says, staring at your eyes.
“Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”
You said with a new found confidence. Lily looks down at your lips for a moment and then you both start to lean in slowly.
“Ooooo naughty naughty.”
You both jump at the sound of the most annoying Poltergeist known to man.
After a few minutes of Lily somehow convincing Peeves to not tell on us for being there. You found yourself walking Lily to the Gryffindor common room hand in hand for the second time in a week.
“I hope you had fun tonight, I’m sorry Peeves kinda ruined the night.”
Lily said, stopping in front of the entrance to her common room.
“It's not your fault. You didn't know he would be there. I still had a good time.”
She just smiled at you, not letting go of your hand. 
“I had a lot of fun too.”
You desperately didn't want the night to end but you didn't know how to express that. You weren't blind you could tell Lily most likely had some kind of feelings for you. There was just a part of you that was still so scared of being rejected or left.
“It's getting late so we should go to bed.”
You say ruining your thumb over her knuckles.
“What if I said I didn't want to go to bed yet?”
Lily said, stepping closer to you. 
You just smile and let out a little sigh looking her in the eyes.
“I would then say that as much as I don't want this night to end, we've already been caught once and it's late, we have class tomorrow and I wouldn't want to see you tired… though under different circumstances I would love to see you tired.”
You say to her while smirking at her with confidence that you didn't know you had.
Lily just looks at you speechless blushing more than you think you've ever seen her before. You then dare to kiss her cheek softly.
“Goodnight, Lily.”
You whisper while sending a small smile towards her, not waiting for a response you start to walk away.
This had been one of the best nights of your life.
 · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
Even though you had finished your projects you and Lily found yourselves still meeting in the library after classes leading up to break.
You both had been more affectionate in your own ways, Lily had started bringing you little snacks and water because she thought you didn't eat enough or drink enough water.
You were just constantly holding her hand or hugging her when you got the chance. It didn't go farther than that physically but you two started shamelessly flirting more often.
Finally it was the day before everyone would leave for christmas break you had just turned in your project to Slughorn.
You were gathering your things to leave for the next class when you were hit with an idea.
“Lily, do you want to.. Maybe hang out tonight?”
You asked nervously while a faint blush took over your face. You don't know why you're so nervous. You had hung out with Lily so many times at this point, it should feel normal.
She smiled at you and nodded.
“Yeah. I'd like that.”
“Okay. meet me at the astronomy tower. Around 8?”
“Really Y/N the astronomy tower? How cliché.”
Lily says in a teasing tone.
“Hahaha, just meet me there okay?”
You gave Lily’s hand a little squeeze, sending her a smile.
After classes that day you got together a little picnic basket of all the candies and food that Lily had told you she liked at one point or another. 
You had gone and set everything up so you went back to your dorm to change into your favorite outfit. Finally it was time to meet Lily you found her eventually and smiled at how beautiful she looked.
“So where are we going?”
Lily asked as you walked up to her.
“Wouldn't you like to know?”
You say sending her a small smirk as she rolled her eyes.
“Yes I actually would.”
“You'll find out soon, calm down.”
You say grabbing her hand and leading her up to the third floor of the astronomy tower, you then let go of Lily’s hand walking in front of the blank wall while Lily looks at you curiously. 
Soon the door for the Room of Requirements appears and the look Lily gives you is priceless.
“Is this the Room of Requirement?”
You nod while opening the door for her.
“Yeah. I found it in my third year. It's my own little part of the school, where no one can bother me unless I let them. You're the first person I've brought here.”
The room is full of books and a big fireplace with large comfy couches and a record player with all your favorite records next to it.
Next to the fireplace is the little picnic you had set up. Lily lets out a soft gasp as she sees the set up.
You both sit down and look at each other for a while. It's a soft moment, it feels like you both just needed to take each other in for a moment.
“So it's your last christmas here. Are you going home?”
You ask, taking a bite of a chocolate wand after.
“No. We all decided to stay here for our last christmas. Are you staying?”
“Yes. I'd rather spend Christmas in the dungeons then go back to Grimmauld Place.”
You say shaking your head with a sigh.
“Y/N, I know you try to avoid talking about this but just hear me out and if you don't want to talk about it after, I will leave it be, okay?”
You sigh already knowing where this conversation is going but you decided to hear Lily out anyway. You nod your head letting her know that she can continue.
“You said it yourself. This is mine and Sirius’s last Christmas at Hogwart. This is probably the last chance the three of you have to spend a Christmas together. They miss you Y/N, honestly they do. My sister doesn't talk to me anymore because I'm a witch and I miss her everyday. I don't want to see you go through that. I don't want you to regret not seeing your brother when you had the chance.”
You take a moment to think about it. You already knew if you didnt make up with them soon you'd regret it. Hell you already regretted it. 
You remembered how heartbroken Narcissa was when she found out that Andromeda had a baby. Narcissa knew she would never be able to meet her niece. You didn't want that. You didn't want your brothers to have families and you not be involved. You knew that if you didnt get over this pettiness that there was a large possibility that that was exactly the path you were heading down. 
“Okay. when everyone leaves tomorrow. I'll see them.”
“Really?”
“Yeah Lils. You're right after all. I don't want to not be a part of my brothers’ lives.”
Lily just gives you a hug whispering how proud of you she was.
Lily understood how hard this was for you. She knew you were hurt even if you never flat out said it to her.But it was time for you to get over it before you lost the only family you ever really cared for.
You and Lily spend the rest of the night talking and laughing. For a moment you forget the anxiety that will consume you tomorrow.
You'll be fine. As long as you have Lily by your side you know you'll be fine.
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
You waited at the entrance of the Gryffindor common room anxiously playing with the ring on your finger.
Why did you agree to this? Were you really ready to face your brothers? What if they hated you? What if they wanted nothing to do with you?
You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't even notice your favorite red head till she touched your hands stopping you fidgeting with your ring one again.
You looked up at her, the anxiety obvious on your face. 
“They want to see you. I promise.”
She gives you a comforting smile keeping her hand on yours.
“What if I fuck this up? What if I lose them for good?”
You feel the burning behind your eyes trying not to cry.
“They love you so much Y/N. All you have to do is try.”
You nod, keeping Lily’s hand in yours letting her lead you into the portrait of Elizabeth Spriggs aka ‘The Fat Lady’.
Once you walk into the common room you notice it seems uncharacteristically quiet. 
You look and see two matching sets of gray eyes looking at you. You take a deep breath still trying to hold back the tears.
It's been close to a year since you talked to Sirius, quite a few months since you talked to Regulus.   
“Sirius, Regulus.”
You say in a neutral voice not making eye contact with either of them.
There's a moment of silence and stillness, a part of  you considers running out of the room but before you can act on that though you're being tackled into a hug by your eldest brother. You couldn't help but let a few tears fall as you hold Sirius and you can tell he's crying just the same.
Sirius cups your face with both of hands after a few moments to look at you with tears streaming down his face.
“I'm never letting you go again, you hear? I'm not losing my baby sister again.”
You let out a little sob and hug Sirius again putting your head on his chest.
“Sirius, Y/N why don't we go somewhere with a smaller audience.”
Regulus said in all his stoic glory. 
“Yeah. Regs right. We'll go to my room, alright?”
You give a small nod to Sirius then leads you to his shared dorm room while Regulus follows behind. 
You honestly didn't even notice the other people in the room until Regulus said something.
It wasn't many people, it was just ‘The Marauders’ as they call themselves and Lily but Regulus knew you would be more comfortable with just you three and you knew Regulus felt the same.
Once you get to Sirius room you look at Regulus for the first time in months.
“I’m sorry Regulus. I really am.”
You say trying to hold tears back once again.
“You ignored me. You ignored me for months Y/N.”
You look down ashamed playing with your ring once more.
“I know Regulus and if I could go back I would but I can’t. I was just hurt. Sirius left and that hurt so fucking much but at least I had you. Then you left, and I understand why you did but then I was just by myself. It nearly killed me to be alone with mother and father.”
You said taking a deep breath.
“I told you to come with me. Why didn’t you come?”
Regulus said with so much hurt in his voice it felt like someone ripped your heart out.
“I was afraid. I was afraid that I was too much like them. That if I would have gone, I would have tainted whatever good you made for yourselves.”
“You are nothing like them. Neither of you are. I made sure of that. Y/N if you were like them you wouldn’t be friends with Lily and Regulus if you were you would have never reached out for help.”
Sirius says while holding you against him once again.
“I really am sorry Reg.”
You look up at regulus with your tear stained face.
Regulus’s eyes softened and before you knew it, Regulus had taken you from Sirius arms and hugged you tighter than you had ever been hugged before but you didn’t mind.
You both cried into each other's arms for the first time in years. 
Sirius hugged both of you and for a moment you just sat there in your brother's arms enjoying every second of it.
“So, you and Lily huh?”
Sirius says in a teasing voice. You pushed him away and glared at him.
“Shut up.”
You say with a slight pout. Regulus and Sirius just give each other a knowing look as you roll your eyes and scoff.
“I hate you both. Did you know that?”
“Nah, you love us too much baby sister.”
Sirius says ruffling your hair as you swat his hands away.
“Wait. Is that my jumper?”
“… No. You’re crazy. The Black Family Madness is catching up with you Siri.”
Sirius and you start to argue as if no time had passed. Regulus just smiles at you two feeling grateful to have this back.
You spend the rest of the break with your brothers mostly but also with the marauders and Lily.
You got to know them all. 
You took a liking to Remus quickly bonding over your favorite books.
You and Peter got along well enough playing chess together often, since he would insist on rematches because you would continuously beat him.
James admittedly was harder not that you didn’t like him but a part of you had blamed him for Sirius leaving for so long that it was hard to get past that and it showed. It wasn't until christmas eve when James had pulled you aside for a moment when you felt yourself grow comfortable with him.
“You know, you don't have to go back there right?”
“What do you mean Potter?”
You looked at him with raised eyebrows as he sat next to you on the couch you were now occupying. 
“You don't have to go back to Grimmauld Place. You could be with your brothers again, I already wrote mum and dad. They said they'd be more than happy to have another Black join the Potters. I mean what's another one, yeah?”
James said with a small smile, lightly bumping your shoulder with his.
“Are you sure? I don't-”
“Yes. I know. You don't want to over step or be a burden and I know you don't think you deserve it, but you do. Merlin's beard, you and your brother are just the same. I will never understand the treatment your parents put the three of you through. But what I do know is that you three deserve good things in your lives. You deserve so much more than what your parents put you through. You are worth so much more than what they made you believe you were. You deserve to be loved, to be safe and to be happy. Y/N you will always have a home with us, plus… I've always wanted a little sister.”
You didn't say anything, you just hugged James and nodded your head.
Off to the side watching the interaction between you and James was your brothers, for the first time in years Regulus and Sirius knew the three of you would be safe and they couldn't be happier.
They liked seeing you interact with the people that they’ve grown close with and getting to see you actually happy every so often was just a bounce. 
But your brothers weren’t the only ones who liked it. 
Lily loved seeing you interact with all of them. 
You seemed so alive.
She’d never seen you act like that with anyone but her. She loved seeing you smile and laugh. She loved seeing you and your brothers truly happy.
This was her favorite Christmas so far.
You had made it her favorite Christmas.
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
You felt better than you had in months, no, years. 
You had your brothers back and for the first time in years. The three of you were getting along and you knew you would finally be safe.
You also knew it was because of Lily as well. 
She was the fire in your darkness, she gave you light, warmth and she felt so happy and safe.
Everything felt good for once. But if you knew anything, you knew that wasn't going to last.
“You don't actually think she loves you do you?”
You turn to see none other than Severus Snape leaning by the entrance to the dungeons. You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly. 
You don't really talk to Snape unless it was necessary you never really liked him or the company he kept in recent years. So for him to start any conversion with you was rare.
“What are you on about Snape?”
“Lily.”
He states as if it's obvious.
“What about Lily?”
Your interest obviously peaked at hearing the name of your favorite Gryffindor.
“She'll never love you. She loves Potter.”
He says in a monotone voice. You scoff rolling your eyes. 
“I don't know why I'm bothering with this nonsense.”
You turn to walk away muttering to yourself. 
“She and Potter kissed, you know. The other week, at a Hufflepuff party. I saw them. Potter has been pining for Lily since our first year. It seems he finally got what he was after.”
You stood there shocked, confused, frozen with your jaw now clenched. 
That couldn't be true. Lily wouldn't do that and if she did she'd tell you right? I mean you were… whatever you are, right?
And James wouldn't do that. He had all but flat out asked you to be his sister.
Snape was lying, he had to be. He was spreading lies about Lily. He just had to be. You wouldn't stand for that. You felt ‘The Madness’ creep in once again.
In one swift motion you had Snape pinned against the wall with your wand pointed at his neck. 
“You will not speak of Lily again. You will not look at her, speak to her. You will not breathe the same air as her and if you do. I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?”
You say with murderous eyes. 
Snape would never admit it but he was scared. He's only ever seen you as cold, emotionless. This was far from emotionless. 
“Crystal.”
Snape said, trying to hide his emotions as best as he could. 
You walk away without another glance stuck in your head. 
He had to be lying right? But why would he lie? Nothing made sense. Maybe he wasn't lying.
Stupid. You were so fucking stupid.
How could you think someone like Lily Evans would like someone like you. 
Lily brings life to everything she touches, she was sweet, caring, kind she was fucking perfect.
You were a Black, enough said.
You were angry, mean, rude, it was in your blood to ruin everything you touch. 
It wasn't her fault that you thought you might actually have a chance, that you developed a stupid crush, it was your fault for being stupid enough to think that it was ever a possibility.
I mean maybe you and Lily were just friends. Maybe you misunderstood?
You couldn't blame her but that didn't mean it hurt less. 
The first person you started putting your walls down for the first time in years obviously didn't care about you the way you cared for her. 
So you did what you did best when people would hurt you.
You avoided and ignored her. You managed to avoid Lily for a few days skipping potions class, leaving the library when you would see her walk in. 
Sirius was quickly getting irritated with your antics. He had been pestering you as to why you were avoiding Lily but you wouldn’t tell him or Regulus. 
If they knew she would find out.
So you just kept avoiding her and avoiding answering any questions your brothers would ask.
Eventually she found you and tried to talk to you which led to you ignoring her. It killed you to see the look on her face but it was necessary to protect yourself. You tried to convince yourself that it would be easier after a week. 
It wasn't.
For either of you apparently. 
Lily had managed to find you in the library while you were looking for a book to distract yourself with. You had put your guard down for a moment. You didn't even know she was there till she spoke.
“Y/N.”
She had said to gain your attention, when you realized there wasn't anywhere for you to go you decided to just get it over with to stop avoiding your problems for the first time in your life. 
You rolled your eyes and sighed looking at her for the first time in a week.
“What the hell do you want Evens? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend, Potter?”
You say to Lily in a monotone voice looking her in the eyes.
“What are you talking about? I'm not dating James, I don't want him!”
You felt all the anger and insecurity start to cloud your brain. She was lying. How dare she lie to you. You were damned if you were made a fool once again. 
“You're such a liar Evans. Snape told me everything about how Potter has been pining for you for years! How he saw you two kiss at the Hufflepuff party! I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you'd actually like me. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think Potter would actually look at me as a sister.”
You whisper yelled with your jaw clenched while the back of your eyes burned trying to hold back tears. 
“Me and James didn’t kiss I swear-”
You scoff, turning to walk away deciding you were done with this conversation, but Lily grabbed you by the arm, tapping you against the bookshelf.
“I didn't kiss James.He's a great friend but nothing more to me, and he does care for you, I know he does. But I don't want him, I want you. I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I love everything about you. I love how loyal you are, how even if you didn’t talk to your brother you'd never let anyone speak ill of them. How despite being raised to hate someone like me you never held something as stupid as my blood statutes against me. I love how smart you are. How you cover your smile when you laugh. How your eyes light up when youre reading a book you enjoy. How when you get anxious you play with your ring. Everything. Can’t you see that?”
You searched her eyes trying to see if there was any lie, but all you saw was the truth. She meant every word and it scared you. 
Lily then cupped your cheek wiping away a tear you didn't know was there.
“Why would you want me? I'm cold, rude, cynical and angry all the time. I'm not a great person...”
Lily scoffs playfully while smiling.
“You're no angel but you’re my everything Y/N. To me you light up the room, you don't take shit from anyone, you stand up for what you believe and I hope you'll never change. You showed me that I'm enough. I'll never stop wanting you. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
Lily whispers the last part brushing her nose against yours.
“What if I hurt you?”
You whisper your voice breaking a little.
“You'll probably hurt me a few times and I'll probably hurt you a few times but that's okay as long as we work it out together, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
The anger and insecurity finally unclouding your brain letting you take in how close you two are. 
Lily's hand is still cupping your cheek while her other hand is on your hip pressing you slightly in the bookshelf while she's pressed against you.
Lily's eyes flicker down to your lips and you nod softly letting her know it was okay. 
You both lean in, your lips touching for the first time.
You felt warmth go through your whole body. It was beyond a spark or fireworks. It felt as if a bomb had been dropped on you. 
That kiss broke something in you. 
But it wasn't bad. 
It had broken down every wall that you spent years building up brick by brick. 
In just a moment Lily Evans had managed to do something to you, that you and so many other people thought impossible. 
She healed a part of you. 
Her lips were so soft they felt like silk against yours. 
It felt like she was made to be with you.
It's soft and sweet, at first. Then it felt consuming. She was all around you and you didn't want it to be any other way. 
You could only feel her, her hand squeezing your hip as your hand was on the back of her head pulling her closer. 
You could only smell her cherry and vanilla perfume. It made you dizzy with how intoxicating it was.
You had forgotten that you were in public for a moment that was until you heard a throat clear. 
Both of you pulling away with hot faces you look to see a very amused and smirking Remus Lupin. 
“Finally. I was afraid neither of you would ever actually make a move. Just wait till Sirius hears about this.”
You groan, throwing your head back against the bookcase while Remus and Lily laugh at your expense. 
You never expected for anyone to be able to break down your walls, to fall for someone. 
Especially not someone like Lily. 
But fuck were you happy that she did.
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳
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feel free to delete if this makes you uncomfortable. I saw on your rules dark content is fine, but I know yandere stuff can be a trigger in particular with its many aspects (stalking, murder, etc)
TW: Yandere, violence, kidnapping
im curious how a yandere Yuu would vibe with the great 7. they aren't good people (duh) but would they at least try to keep Yuu on a somewhat good path? even if its a student the 7 like, like the dorm leaders, their number one is Yuu, so I can't imagine they'd feel bothered, in addition to the being evil. And with half the cast having angsty backstories, I cant imagine it would be hard to make some justicifacation (I messed that up, didn't I?) for kidnapping the object of Yuus afection
Queen of Hearts: "Well of course I helped my Rose with young Riddle! Its so sweet to see such a happy couple, and honestly, why wouldn't he love this? A nice space for the two of them, free from *that* woman, allowed to indulge in whatever he likes! As long as he doesn't break my Rose's rules, sure he'll need some time to adjust, but they have the rest of their lives to spend together! :)"
Jafar: "So maybe its not Jamil's ideal, but what's there to complain about? Travelling the world together, free from the Al-Sims,and a nice home to come back to, where the housework is split evenly so he doesn't have to do it all. I just hope he doesn't try Snake Whisper again, or else his eyes may have to go. The ingrate may just deserve it, he has all he wants but still is fighting my poor gem"
Idk if i understand this but
Tbh I don't really care for yanderes– don't get me wrong the concept is cool but I feel it's never done right, it's either always tropey or overly edgy– but the 7 encouraging Yuu to be as deranged at they are is great. I mean look at Male and Grimhilde, they'd definitely be like "if he doesn't like you– lock him up!!
Meanwhile Hades advice depends on which story you believe. It's either "go kidnapp them and feed them a pomegranate" or "idk leave your house unlocked and if they love you they will walk in and make themselves home"
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t1oui · 1 month
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“i’m going to marry you someday,” james says, running his fingers through regulus’s curls. regulus smiles, his ear pressed to james’s heart.
“yeah?” he asks. “when?”
“as soon as you graduate.” james’s heartbeat stays steady, like this is a regular conversation on a regular night.
“yeah?” regulus asks, glancing up, meeting james’s eyes. his eyes are gray like a storm, and they’re so, so beautiful. “how?”
james smiles. “in the fields behind my parents’ house,” he says. “in summer. we’ll have everybody there — sirius and moony and peter and the girls, and all your friends, too. it’ll be perfect.”
regulus settles his head on james’s chest again. “you have this all planned out, don’t you?” he asks. james stares up at the sky, searching and finally locating regulus’s star. his star.
“of course i do,” he says. i love you, he almost says, but he leaves that for another night.
~
“i’m going to marry you someday,” james says, pulling regulus closer. his laugh lights up james’s world.
“tell me about it,” regulus says, intertwining their fingers.
“we’ll dance like this,” james says, placing his hand on regulus’s waist. “all night. with everybody, all our friends. and we won’t get tired.”
regulus laughs again. his eyes are closed, and he’s pressed his cheek to james’s chest. “how will we manage that?” he asks.
james thinks for a moment, still swaying them back and forth across the floor of the astronomy tower. he’s never been good at multitasking.
“potions,” james decides. “and firewhiskey, probably.”
“mm,” regulus hums. “i won’t drink any.”
“no?”
“no.” he pulls back, opening his eyes, and smiles up at james, gray eyes twinkling. “i want to remember every second of it.”
~
“i’m going to marry you someday,” james whispers, trying to ignore the way his voice cracks. “and then i’ll get you out of here.”
regulus gives him a weak smile and scoots closer, turning around and pressing his back to james’s chest.
“tell me where we’ll go,” he says quietly. “when we run away.”
james swallows thickly, glances down at the mark on regulus’s forearm.
“away,” he says. “where they can’t hurt us.”
where i’m free, he doesn’t say, from you.
~
“i wish i was a coward,” james says, his eyes fixed on the sky. on that star — not his, after all. he looks away, but it doesn’t matter. tears cloud his vision. “i wish i didn’t have to run away from you.”
there’s no response. he’s not surprised. there’s nothing for the headstone to say anyway. james bites back a sob, wiping the tears away just in time for more to appear.
“i wish i didn’t have to run away,” he says, setting the ring down in the grass, “but i’m not sorry i left.”
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 1 year
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*sighs* precious baby version of night and his mentally drained brother/dad got me dropping everything for a quick doodle<333
au by @dreemurr-skelememer
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strampunch · 1 year
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"Say pal, you don't look so good..."
Happy 10th anniversary Don't Starve! And happy birthday to Wilson! I remember getting hooked on this game back in 2013, when I was in animation school. It's the only game I've regularly played ever since then. Here's to 10 more years!
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pup-pee · 1 month
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jokes @ night r not funny in the morning,,,
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originally the blue was green but then i decided 2 b pan
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snallavanta · 1 year
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and when edvin releases his season 3 wilhelm playlist then what
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syrasenturi · 1 year
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scribbly amphibbies
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bonus christmas garfapillar
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jennrypan · 7 months
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Tidbits I gathered from Johnny's intros
Assholr brother, Daddy issues and his mother was a cop.
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birdybellicose · 1 year
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The corners of Lark’s mouth lifted into an almost smile at Nick’s singing as he tried to make himself more comfortable in his friend’s lap, feeling oddly safer than he had ever felt in a long time. 
He falls asleep to Nick’s voice and the hypnotic twang of guitar strings in the air, the lyrics flowing out of Nick’s mouth like liquid honey. Lark falls asleep before he can understand the full weight of the song Nick chose to “practice” with, or notice how hushed and breathless Nick’s voice had suddenly become.
Nick continued to sing that same song long after Lark falls asleep, long enough for the itch of caressing Lark’s face to become downright unbearable. Nick suddenly paused and his left hand slowly uncurled and slid down the fretboard, his eyes trained on the small strands of hair that had fallen over Lark’s eyes. A second later Nick stopped himself, shook his head as if he had been under a spell, and forced himself to play the next guitar riff-- accidentally strumming the strings a little too loudly. Lark stirred and grunted in his sleep for a second before going quiet again. Nick breathed a sigh of relief before chuckling affectionately at the man.
Nick adjusted his old hand-me-down acoustic in his lap and began slowly singing the song again, this time really feeling the lyrics. His voice softly crooned perfect reverence and longing into each verse, heartbreak was evident in the words and all the notes he hit. After awhile, Nick’s lip began to tremble and his eyes burned but he sang on, his left hand now gripping the fretboard so hard it made his knuckles white.
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snixx · 2 months
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got queerbaited into reading a book by chatgpt. is this rock bottom
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