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#if I ever break 5k in a day I would be SO happy
dahldahlbills · 7 months
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nano day 6
total count: 2756; 2212!!! towards main wip, 544 towards fic
finished scene 4!!! Wasn’t expecting that esp bc I was extremely reluctant to write it. It started off strong, then got away from me for a bit, but I think I wrapped it up okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m just happy I broke 2k today, it feels extremely rewarding B-)
was hoping to get more fic writing done today but alas… maybe tomorrow
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mirohlayo · 6 months
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THE ONLY ONE | LN4
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( lando and you are on a break because of an argument. but he needs you back. )
warning : angst, fluff, some jealousy, happy ending ofc
word count : 5.1k
note : the longest thing i have ever written with 5k words 😭 pretty proud of it, hope it's not too long lol
!! english not my first language !!
lando sighs as he watches for around the 30th time your instagram story. it was a picture of your outfit of the day, but the little detail - or big detail for him - was the unknown man standing next to you and his clothes matching with yours. lando can't help but rewatch again and again your story throughout all the day. of course, he loves your outfit. he thinks everything suits you, either an elegant dress or just a big hoodie. it was not the problem. but why the fuck your outfit matched with the one of an other man than him ? he just don't understand. usually, he would be and was the only one to match with your outfit. it was kind of your love language, and lando loves it. every time you asked him to wear the same clothes as you, he never refused the offer and even lend you one of his hoodie. it is something very special for him, so when he saw you doing this with an other man than him, he really didn't like it. actually, he hated it.
and the worse ? he is once again looking at your story, laying in your shared bed in his monaco apartment, clinging to your pillow. oh poor him. there is still the scent of you and your shampoo filled in the pillow you used to sleep on when you passed the nights with your loved one. he's holding onto it anytime he's missing you, which is basically every minutes. he smells your fragrance, finding so much comfort in it. and he would also imagines you next to him, cuddling his body and playing with his hair. but these are just memories now. it seems long time ago for him, when the last time you saw each other was actually around 3 weeks now. but it was not a good last time. completely the opposite. and he curses himself when he remembers what happened that day.
"fuck, who is this... thing ? guy ?" he says, throwing his phone over the blankets. for real, who was this man next to you ? have you already forget him and moved on ? but no, you guys are still together. theoretically. yes, the last time you talked to each other was during an argument, but when you left him all alone in his apartment, you didn't say you broke up with him. you just left, furious and mostly hurt. you were on a break. you didn't talk together since the argument, didn't send any text messages that you both would always send every hours because of how much you missed each other. 3 weeks without any contacts. but the thing you don't know is lando still looking at your social medias accounts everyday, missing you dearly. sometimes he hesitates, if he should like or not your stories.
every days, every hours, every minutes, every seconds are hurtful without you. he's still playing again and again in his head the last smile he captured of you. he is missing you so fucking bad. and the only person he can blame is himself. yes, he is the one to blame at. he was the one who started the argument and the one to say the most rude and hurtful words. and he feels so much guilty about it. he can't stand the fact he was the one who hurt and upset the most precious person to his eyes. everything is his fault. and now he thinks he's just a fool who don't deserve you. it pains so much his heart, and he's getting sick of it. he needs you again. he needs to see you again. he needs to kiss and hug you again.
he let a scream out, overthinking about the situation. he grabs his phone and opens the text app. he clicks on your name, and starts typing something. but what ? hello ? hi ? can we talk together ? no. he just can't send you some stupid messages and thinks everything will be perfect again like 3 weeks ago. what was he thinking ? he sighs longly and decides to take a shower to stop thinking about you. but he damn knows that's impossible because every single thing reminds him of you.
like taking showers. you would often showered with him because he loves showering together. washing your hair and hugging you to warm your freezing body meanwhile the cold water was turning hot. and then after you doing his haircare routine, styling his damp curls while he was just looking at you with adoration. or when you guys would spend your evenings together, cuddling close under a woolen plaid on the couch, watching a movie until one of you two would fall asleep. or when you cooked some recipes and it ended up in a food battle. god he's craving of those moments again. he really needs to do something...
-
race day. it is sunday today and of course lando have to race. he don't know it, but you are in the paddock club. yes, even if you're on a break in your relationship, you couldn't miss a race and decided to attend it. those last 3 weeks, you didn't miss a single one races. you didn't attend them, because you were still hurt by lando's words and you didn't want his fans to see you present there, so you just watched the races and your papaya driver on the tv. but you missed so much seeing him in reality, so you attend today's race. of course, you are wearing glasses and a cap to not be recognizable. and you're also sitting in a hidden corner.
lando has no clue that you are here, watching his car moving around. and you have no clue that he is thinking about you and the way he's going to apologize to you. so as the race passes, you keep an eye on his car. your heart and your being feels weird. the amount of love you have for him is still here, and it never shaded away for the past 3 weeks. not a single bit. but of course you are still upset and hurt. the words he said to you broke you into tears. you love him so much, never you loved someone like that. so when he told you those mean things, you felt weak. and very very sad.
in a blink, the race is already finished. fans wave at the drivers who are celebrating the podium with their race team. you smile, admiring the place. you would be lying if you said you didn't missed races. you were always happy to attend one. maybe for the race, or maybe just to spend more time with lando. by the way, he didn't finish on the podium but still get p4. and despite the fact you are still gloomy, you are proud of him, like usually. because he's just the best after all.
now you have to leave the track. of course, you would have love to stay and join your favorite driver, but he don't know you are here and you don't want him to see you. because nobody has already apologize. and it's been 3 weeks since you haven't seen and spoken to him. it would be awkwardly embarrassing. so you have to take precautions and be prudent to not be seen by any mclaren team member. you go down the balcony's stairs, lowering your head and hiding your face with the cap. of course it has to be an orange cap, because it is the only hat you have. an other way to be even more discreet, huh. but it works well. you are now in the paddock area, just in front of the mclaren one. you recognize a lot of engineers and people who work with your boyfriend and you hope deep inside you they don't see and recognize you. but it seems like you failed it.
"y/n ?" oh. oh... it's not just anyone. it's not just a random maclaren team member. no. it is him. it's his voice. his voice that you missed hearing. it's lando norris. you stop, and don't know what to do. and don't know how to react. so you stay like this, turning your back on him. "y/n ? is it you ?" you close your eyes and exhale, you're not really in the mood to talk to him. the only person you shouldn't meet is now facing you. you turn around and keep your head low, you don't have the force to look at him.
you just remove your glasses and put them in your pocket. "why are you here ?" he asks confused, but you can tell he's concerned about it. "to... support you, i guess ?". you finally give up and cross his gaze. and it aches your heart. he looks tired, i mean of course he just finished a 2 hours race but still he looks even tired than usually. his face is pale, doesn't have much color. and his eyes are so tiny, so many emotions in them. "oh ok. huhh thank you...". he answers awkwardly. you bite your lower lip, the atmosphere is, well, very awkward yes. "so, how are you?" you ask to get rid of this tension.
how he is ? fuck this question. he doesn't even want to answer. does he really need to say that he blames himself every day, that he can't sleep because of how much he cries thinking about you, that he skips dinners because of how bad he's feeling ? he never felt like that with any person. it is the first time his whole being aches that much. but he can't tell you that, he knows you will not forgive him that easily. "good. and you ?" he says, avoiding your gaze. "good too" you hum sotfly. he knows damn well that's a lie, because even your tone betrayed you. he tries to take a look at you. his heart squeezes in pain, the view in front of him is heartbreaking. you look as tired as him. and as pale as him too. where is the smile he loves so much gone ? the shining sparkles in your pretty eyes ?
he fights the urge to pull you in his arms. but he's the one at fault, he can only blame himself. "hum, i'll go now" "no." he answers back to back and you look at him confused and surprised. "i-i mean you're going back to monaco ?" he stutters. "no, i'll join a friend of mine" you says coldly. "oh... ok..." god he sounds so sad, it pains you. you struggles to not hug him. because yes, you're hurt, but you still love him like crazy. "well... oh and good job today" you quickly say and starts to leave, not wanting to stay more here. you don't turn back, but lando is now smiling softly, watching you fade away in the crowd. "thank you, love" he whisper to himself.
he sighs, blinking slowly. now memories are coming back, and he remembers what happened that night, when everything went wrong in only one second.
- -
you were very tired. a hard day of work. so when you came home, in your lover's apartment in monaco, all you wanted was to follow him around like a puppy and cuddle him. you were so clingy and so needy. it was rare, very very rare for you to be like that, all clingy and needy, so when that night you doubled it, it was kind of surprising and shocking. usually, lando loves when you get clingy, when you want him all for yourself. because it not happens often, so of course he cherishes these moments. but that night, it was different. he didn't like the way you acted with him. you kept following him around the apartment, touching him gently and innocently. like grabbing his hand, placing soft kisses on his cheeks, back hugs. you just wanted his attention. you just wanted your lover. but he didn't seems he felt the same about you. first, he didn't care much. he just didn't returned back your affection. but the more you were getting clingy, the more he was getting angry. he started to hate it.
you tried to kiss him on the lips and instead of kissing you back roughly, he turned his head and your lips pressed against his cheek. you paused for a second, confused. you frowned and tried to understand why he did that. why your lover didn't return back your hugs ? your kisses ? why he acted like you didn't even exist ? you placed your hand on his forearm but he shifted. your heart squeezed, why was he like this ? usually, he was the neediest one and the one getting even clingier. you were lost.
"baby, why you don't kiss me back ?" you asked softly. lando sighed and he seemed annoyed. he didn't even dare to reply. which hurt you. you moved and stopped before him. "something is wrong ? something bothers you ?" you tried to understand why he was in this mood, you wanted to help him talk about whatever bothered his thoughts. but you didn't expect to hear that. "yes, you." he hissed. your face deformed. did you hear well ? "w-what ?" you stuttered. "you. it's you. you fucking annoy me". you blinked and took some few steps back. your being hurt, your heart was broken. "what do you mean ?"
"you're so clingy and needy and i fucking hate it. stop being like that and stop touching me. you're so annoying" he threw these words at you, giving you a death look as his furrowed his brows. oh pain was real. you felt weak, you thought it was all a dream. but no, your lover was here, saying harsh words to you and kept hurting your poor little heart. and while you tried to understand his behavior - because he would never talk bad to you like that - a bulb lighted in your head.
it was qualifying. you remembered lando's week went bad and hard for him. bad practices, no luck, his slow car, his poor performance... nothing went right. and you knew how much f1 had an important impact on him and his mental health. he was so hard on himself and sometimes he would overthink about why he sucks at racing. this explains why he was acting like a shit with you. you knew it was that. he didn't want to do a bad race tomorrow. so instead of calm down and talk about it with you, he let out all his anger on you. it was like he took you as a punching ball and kept punching you, until you broke in pieces. you understand how he felt, racing is his job, he has to be the best. but let out his anger on your poor person even though you did nothing wrong, you couldn't take that. yes, he had the right to be angry and annoyed and whatever, but being harsh towards you won't make his performance better. so you tried to talk with him. or maybe argue with him.
"lando, please. i know you don't mean what you say." he stared at you and then walk closer to you. his gaze get through yours, and a storm appeared in it. "yes, i mean it y/n. you're getting on my nerves and i don't like that. maybe i don't like you too". wow. it was harsh. it was like getting stabbed again and again. he don't like you ? he really meant it ? now you were about to cry. tears filled your eyes, and you breathed harder to not let them run. and of course lando noticed it. "what, really ? are you going to cry ? you're the one who started it all and you think you can cry ? gosh you're so pathetic y/n". you shook your head and looked away because you knew soon your tears will drop. was he saying bullshit now ? "oh, you're really crying" he made fun of you and your statement. but you couldn't stand here and just cry. you had to speak up, to explain how you felt and explain that letting out his anger on you was not the solution. "please lando stop. i know it's because of racing that you're acting like that. you can be upset and annoyed but it can't justify the fact you burst your emotions on me. i did nothing wrong, i just want to help yo-" "it's not about racing !!!!" he yelled at you.
you almost jumped because of how much he scared you. he never yelled at you. never ever. he was so different from the lando you knew. lando was the perfect, caring, kindness boyfriend. who was so in love with you. not someone who yell and hurt you. "you can't even see it's you the problem. i don't need your shitty cuddles and hugs and everything. i never wanted you and i don't even need you. you sucks". "lando pleas-" "i wish i had never met you". and then he passed you to crawl on the couch, turning on the tv. he looked like he didn't even care about you anymore. your heart cried as your being hurt. the best thing that have ever came into your life just said he wish he had never met you. how hurtful it is. and you thought it was the race who made him angry like that, but it seemed like it's not the reason anymore. just him speaking maybe the truth and what he thinks about you. and you wished you were dreaming. but no, it was not.
you never had an argument with him. or when something was wrong, you would always talk about it. but it was so different. the person you loved the most broke you. pain, yeah, pain filled your body. it ached badly. you just wanted to leave. run far far away. so he couldn't hurt you anymore. "i'm leaving. i can't stay with you anymore so i'll go" "then go. get out of my apartment. i would be better off without you". it was one sentence too many. your tears ran down your cheeks, your face. you couldn't stop them. so you just leave, shutting the door behind you, as the one who broke you started to realize little by little what happened. and it was when guilt started to kick him.
-
"so fucking dumb you are" max says again, cursing at his friend's behavior towards you. "i know. don't remind me. i'm such an idiot" lando says again, cursing at himself. he is laying on his bed, re-watching your new instagram stories while max is sitting on the other side of the bed. "and for the fucking 40th time please stop looking at her stories. you've been doing this since this morning." max states, and try to grab his friend's phone who dodge it effortlessly. f1 driver reflexes yes. "then you stop sitting on this side of the bed. y/n's perfume will disappear because of you and your stinky scent". max rolls his eyes and finally stand up. "you're miserable".
lando sighs, and throws his phone over the blankets. "max help me... i'm so fucking lost without her." "but it's your own fault. you're the one to blame at". he shrugs and shake his head. "i know it's my fault max. don't you know i'm literally dying every single day because of how much i miss her ? that i'm crying because i will never find someone like her ? i'm in a shitty situation and i don't feel well because she's not with me. look, i'm in a pitiful state even though we did not even broken. what will i be like if we break up for real ? i don't even want to imagine it because i already know it will be awful." he passes his hand in his hair, ruffling them. "i've never felt like that about any exes, anyone. it's the first time i suffer like this, i don't know what to do...". max looks at his friend and his gaze softens. he hates seeing his best friend suffer, he can't stand it. "lando i can help you. and i will help you. but you have to promise me that you-" "SHE TEXTED ME !!!" lando suddenly screams.
"what ??" max jumps on the bed and sit next to him. "MAX !! SHE SENT ME A MESSAGE" lando is going crazy, he is just shocked. he don't even realizes what happens, he thinks he's dreaming. his heart is beating faster now. but max sighs as he reads the text you just sent, a simple "i'm coming to pick up some things in the evening". it is more a negative message because it means you're not staying in your boyfriend's apartment, but still lando is relieved by this one text. "lando, she's not staying. she's coming to pick up things because she don't want to live with you" "but it's her first text since 3 weeks ago ! she thinks about me too!"
max shakes his head and closes his eyes because he's getting a headache. "mate you don't get it" he says. but his friend don't listen, he is too focused on his phone. because he knows he's going to see her girlfriend soon, and he knows it will be the moment to apologize, to show her how much he cares about her. "max, help me. give me advices please. i'm listening". and then the two would spend the whole afternoon together, the streamer giving advices to the driver. lando is prepared, he don't want to loose his chance.
and then someone knocks on the door. he knows it is you because it's now around 6pm. max left 30 minutes ago. so it means you two will be alone together. lando almost tumbles because he ran towards the door at the speed of his mclaren livery. he takes a breath and opens the door.
oh.
your pretty face. the first thing he saw. his heart squeezes at the sight of you. your eyes, scanning his face and his body while he does the same for you. he can't believes you're standing in from of him, even though he saw you last week on sunday. but he's feeling worried now. you look super tired. dark circles under your tired eyes, your cheekbones more visible. you are as terrible as him. nobody dare to talk, and you start to feel awkward. "can i enter or maybe i just stay here until tomorrow ?" you say. "o-oh yes, come..." he shifts and you walk inside the apartment. and a weird feeling seizes you. every rooms of the apartment holds a memory from you and your boyfriend. the kitchen where he would cooks your breakfast, the living room where you would play karaokes. you feel nostalgic. and remember these memories makes you want to stay, to forgive lando, to be back together like before. but you put yourself together and fight this urge. you came for your things, not for him. or maybe it was also your intention. "how are you ?" he asks cautiously. "good. what about you ?" you reply. "good too". no, lies. from both of you.
you make your way to the bedroom. the first thing you see is your pillow above lando's one, as is he was sleeping on it. and the fact is that he was truly sleeping on it, your scent lulled him every nights. you put your suitcase on the bed and open it, you don't want to waste time. but there is a problem. and it's a big one. you have to sleep with lando tonight. not maybe in the same bed, but still you have to pass the night in his, well your shared apartment. those past 3 weeks, you were hosting at one of your friend's house. when lando asked you to moved in with him, you sold your old apartment. that's why you had nowhere to go, and lando was so worried about it but you weren't aware of it of course.
but your friend's parents were passing through and decided to pay a visit to your friend's house. you didn't want to intrude, so instead of worrying your friend you said you will buy an hotel room. what a coincidence you are now in your boyfriend apartment, sweating because you are scared to ask him to stay. so waiting for the fateful moment, you keep packing up things. you can also feel lando staring at you and his intense look burns your cheeks. "do you need anything ? you want something to eat ?" he asks sudenly, and you can hear he's caring about you by his tone. "no i'm okay, thank you" you simply answer.
your heart start pounding faster, and you sweat even more. god why were you so shy and scared ? he is your boyfriend after all, why would he refuse ? you play nervously with your necklace, the one lando gave you for your first date. you never took it off since now. "are you... okay ?" your boyfriend gives you a concerned look, he noticed you stopped packing your clothes. you take a deep breath and move to face him. "hum... can i..." your words don't want to leave your mouth. "can i stay here ? does it bothers you if i sleep here tonight ? if so then it's okay i will fin-" "no stay please." he rushes back. you look at him surprised. "i-i mean it doesn't bother me at all. you can sleep here". you give him a small smile and a little thank you. he smiles back, but unlike you it is a big, happy smile. the exact smile you love seeing from him. "huh, you can sleep on the bed, i'll go with the couch". he adds and you just nod.
lando just keep staring at you. of course, it disturbs you because sometimes you are putting useless things in your suitcase. he takes advantage of it to admire you. your body's silhouette he loved hugging, your shiny and soft hair he loved styling, your presence and its hold on him. you truly are precious to him. he knows he can't live without you in his life, it's just impossible. he needs you. not tomorrow, not in the next few hours. no. he needs you now. right now. he just can't stand the fact you're right here and can't kiss him or push him on the bed to cuddle him. he approaches you, and gently grabs your hand. surprisingly, you don't remove it and he melts down in the touch. "y/n... please listen to me". you sigh longly and turn your face to cross his eyes. you are also tired of it. even if he hurts you so bad, you can't stay far away from him because you need him as he needs you. "i'm listening". he strokes the back of your hand and takes your chin in his fingers to lift up your head, forcing you to look at him.
"i'm so fucking sorry y/n. so so sorry. you have no idea how much i blame myself and i feel so guilty every day. i'm the worst boyfriend ever, i don't even deserve you. every single minutes i keep thinking about what i said that day and if i could i would go back in time. because i regret so much those hurtful and cruel words i said to you. and you have to believe me, i didn't meant not a single word. i can't stand the fact that i'm the one who hurt you when i said i would punch the person who would did it". you try to reply back but he's so into it now. "please let me finish. i love you. i'm so madly and deeply in love with you. if you ever ask me to bring down the stars and the moon for you i'll do it. i would do anything for you. i love you. i have never loved someone like that. even with my exes, i never felt like that before, i never wanted someone so bad than you. you're the only one for me. nobody can replace you y/n. you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'll never let anything and anyone taking you from me. i need you in my life and i want you in my life because i can't imagine it without you. when i said i would be better without you, i so fucking lay. it's completely the opposite, i'm nothing without you. i would do anything for you to forgive me. because you're the only one, and you'll always be the only one."
tears are now running down his cheeks. and yours too. gosh he just let everything out, he has never been so desperate over someone. you can't stand it anymore and hug him tightly. he melts down in your hug and squeezes you. oh he missed you so much. he hides his wet face in the crook of your neck and keeps crying like a baby. you rub his back slowly and place a soft kiss on his hair. "i love you too lando. i'm so in love with you and i also need you." you simply say, because you know he already knows you're infatuated with him. and you guys stayed like that for fifteen minutes, lando keeping his arms around you. he don't want to let you go. he's so afraid of it now. "let's go cuddle in the bed. or maybe you still hate it" you tease him gently. "no. please. cuddle me. be clingy and needy, i'm only asking for it. don't go away from me." you two crumble into the bed and put the blankets over your bodies. lando curls up against you, his grip tight on you that you can barely breathe. he hides once again his head in the crook of your neck and one of his hand slips under your shirt, stroking your back. you start playing with his curls, something he loves and craves very much.
"i love you so much my baby" he suddenly says. you smile and peck his side profile. "me too lan". he lift up his head and your looks cross. he can't help it and a silly smile takes place on his lips. and he leans in, kissing you softly, your warm lips against his. he missed kissing you, so he really struggles to pull back. "besides i was such a liar. i'm the most needy and clingy one." you laugh hard and kiss him once again. he returns back the kiss and traces his way to your neck, planting soft kisses on it. "no for real, i would literally die without your cuddles. and just without you actually". you giggle and, you spend the rest of the night together. showering together again, cooking together again, playing karaokes together again. and of course, he didn't slept on the couch. but in your warm embrace which he's sure he'll never leave.
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chuulyssa · 1 month
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🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇴​​ 🇰​​ 🇮 ​​🇪​​ 🇸​ !
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BSD MEN REACT TO YOU BAKING COOKIES FOR THEM AFTER A BAD DAY.
↷ A/N ─ we hit 5k+ notes !! im so happy :D there's gonna be an event which im gonna talk about at the end of this. enjoy and please leave likes and reblogs :)
★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa
!! TAGS ─ fluff, pure fluff, hurt/comfort, angst
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"i know you had a bad day, so i made you cookies"
ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.
It wasn't abnormal for someone like you to see Dazai cry. Nevertheless, it'd make him feel embarrassed, even pathetic for showing his emotions to you in such a way. And somewhere in his mind, he could see the faint looks of pity on your face every time he broke down, eyes glossy as he'd remember his old days at the Port Mafia with his perfect little friend group.
He was Osamu Dazai. He had experienced pain, loss, a few fleeting moments of joy, and so much. He had been through a lot. He did not need anyone's sympathy - even yours.
This day was, hence, nothing out of the ordinary. Dazai had trudged back home with heavy steps, dismissing your questions about his whereabouts and remarks about how drenched he got in the rain.
He had gone straight into the bathroom and locked himself in. It didn't matter how many years had passed since Oda's death. It would always feel like yesterday to him, so close yet so far away. It would always rip his heart out how if he had been there just a few moments earlier, he could never have had to watch his only friend die.
He sank to his knees near the wash basin and cried.
---
There was a knock on the door. Dazai scrambled to his feet to open it. He was in the bedroom after another breakdown, locked away.
"Dazai?" he heard your soft voice from outside the door. His heart warmed up a little and he opened the door.
"I know you had a bad day," you said, holding out a plate of freshly baked cookies, "so I baked you cookies."
Dazai looked down at the plate for a moment, then looked back up at you. He felt numb. He felt disoriented. Slowly, he reached out to break one cookie with his fingers and ate it.
"This... this is amazing," he said quietly, tears blurring his vision, threatening to break him down once more.
"It's not much. They're only chocolate chip," you waved a hand off. "Do you like them?"
"Yeah," he replied in a breathy voice. "Yeah, I do."
His ruined day had been perfected by a mere batch of cookies. As you urged him to have more, he finally smiled.
How could someone be so kind?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.
Chuuya was no stranger to drinking and passing out on his couch only to be woken up by you late at night so that he could come to the bed and sleep comfortably there. He felt pathetic for using wine and alcohol as a means of coping with loneliness, especially after Dazai left the Port Mafia.
"Chuuya?" you whispered softly in his ear.
He stirred in his sleep, one hand hanging off the couch while empty bottles crowded on the floor.
"Chuuya."
His eyelids fluttered open, and with a groan, he shifted on the couch, his hand instinctively reaching for the bottle that lay within arm's reach.
But before he could grasp it, you gripped his hand gently.
"No," you said firmly.
He paused to look at you before rubbing his eyes with his other hand and sitting up.
"I baked you cookies," you murmured, sitting on the couch beside him.
It was only then that Chuuya noticed his favourite cookies decorating a plate that sat on the table in front of him. You leaned forward to grab two cookies, shoving one in your mouth and the other in his.
With his mouth stuffed with a cookie, he couldn't help but stare at you as the events of the entire day crashed onto him all at once. A tear slipped from his eye - of joy, admiration or sadness, he did not know. But as he stared lovingly at the way you playfully scolded him for not including you in the drinking session, your voice muffled from the food, there was only one thought that crossed his mind.
How could he ever be stupid enough to believe that he was lonely when he had you?
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ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.
Ranpo was not the type to cry in front of people. With his child-like confidence, very few people had ever actually seen him in a vulnerable state.
So it was distressing when he realized you saw right through his fake smile. He felt like an idiot for not predicting that you would get to know about how upset he was after the President scolded him.
He lay on his bed. Even thinking was too tiring for him right now. His hair was all over his face, his head pressed against his pillow. There was a knock on the door, and he spoke in a quiet voice, "Come in."
You entered with a plate of cookies. They were shaped like little stars, each with a different flavour and colour. You set the plate next to the nightstand and gave him a soft smile.
"I know you had a bad day, so I baked you cookies."
"You... you did?" he whispered, his voice cracking as he slowly sat upright to look at you in the eyes.
"I tried. I don't know how they taste. I wanted you to be the first one to take a bite."
He nodded and you sat down on the floor, looking up at him and putting a cookie in his mouth gently. Ranpo opened his mouth and felt the savoury taste of your baking.
"I like it," he hummed.
"Really? Do you want me to make some more for you tomorrow?"
"You will?" his face brightened up genuinely. "I love you!"
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ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.
Akutagawa was one to hide emotions from everyone. He did not like to let others think of him as human, but rather as a creature to be feared, and someone to be proud of to Dazai.
Since the night Dazai had been abducted and Akutagawa had interrogated him, the latter had been quiet. He was never to talk too much or overshare, but it could be sensed that something had hurt him deeply.
"Ryuu?" you said softly sitting down next to him.
"No," he looked away, shunning you out before you even got the chance to speak.
"I know you had a bad day," you smiled softly, "so I baked you cookies."
He glanced at you from the corner of his eye before his heart melted. You had the most beautiful look on your face, two hands supporting a plate of cookies. He had never told you what his favourite ones were, frankly he couldn't decide. Sweet things just weren't for him.
But these ones, the ones that you made just for him? These were his favourites. The ones you had made that showed how much you understood him.
At that point, he realized he did not have to change himself to gain the approval he desired in the past. He had already won in life the moment he met you.
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© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
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🇹​​ 🇭 ​​🇦​​ 🇳​​ 🇰​ ​🇾 ​​🇴​​ 🇺 ​ ​🇫​​ 🇴​​ 🇷​ 5 ​🇰​ ​🇳 ​​🇴 ​​🇹​​ 🇪 ​​🇸 !
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alrightieaphroditie · 11 months
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sticky situations | j.m 
*:·゚✧ back to masterlist
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pairing *:·゚dbf!joel miller x female!reader wc *:·゚5k  warnings *:·゚18+! minors please do not interact!! pretty much porn w/ minimal plot, dads best friend, age gap (reader is in early 20s, joel is like late 30s/early 40s) kissing, fun with popsicles (so like ice play, in a way), brief mention of choking, titty play, pet names (lots of ‘baby’ and ‘honey’) dirty talk, praise, slight humiliation if you squint, smidge of mutual masturbation, bossy!joel, unprotected p in v (please wrap it before you tap it), slight breeding kink, probably poorly written smut… i think that’s it :))   an *:·゚i lowkey told myself i’d never write a dad’s best friend joel miller story and yet here i am. this literally came to me in a fever dream, and i promise i am still working on my screwed series, but i could not stop writing this. mostly unedited (my bad) but i feel hella proud with this one, so i really hope you all enjoy!! stay safe if your celebrating the fourth today! 
synopsis *:·゚being in a secret relationship with your dad's best friend isn't for the weak. while getting some popsicles from the garage, said boyfriend - joel miller - corners you during the firework show after you spent the day teasing him.
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the scorching texas sun was high in the sky, and the sounds of children squealing carried loudly over the radio playing. the miller’s (moreso tommy, even though he didn’t technically live there) had been kind enough to open their pool to the neighborhood for the fourth of july holiday, and on a day like today, you weren’t surprised that their backyard was crammed full of people.
given that your father was joel miller’s best friend, you had already had plans to come utilize his pool, but now you could barely float like you planned with how many children were swimming in it. sarah’s soccer team had come over after practice as well, and it was to the point where even walking in the backyard was like walking through a landmine; you were consciously trying not to bump into anyone or step on a foot (or a child.) 
your father had planted himself at the grill with the host himself, the two of them talking about god knows what. every now and then you’d catch joel’s eyes, and he’d take in the bikini top you wore, the sage green color complementing your skin.
you had told your father that you had bought it at the mall last weekend, but the truth was that joel had bought it for you, along with the skimpiest bottoms he could find. those you were wearing too, but you had them concealed by a pair of jean shorts. with the way he was eyeing right now, and the way you were subsequently eyeing him back, you were surprised that no one around you had picked up on the fact that you two were together. 
it had been a few months, pretty much ever since you came home to your dad’s from school for the summer. he had moved into this neighborhood after your parents divorce, and when he told you back in january that he had the most amazing neighbor, you were happy for him. flash forward to your visit during spring break and it was joel miller this and joel miller that in your house. not that you really minded, you thought the contractor next door was very handsome, even if he was almost twenty years older than you. 
your dad had introduced the two of you during your spring break, with joel being an absolute gentleman, and for a little bit that was all you had. but then your dad was pulled away for work, and even though you were fully an adult, he wanted someone to be there for you if needed. he gave you joel’s phone number, along with the promise that joel would do anything to help you, and that started the snowball effect to the beginning of your relationship. 
you hardly used the number while you were home, but for some reason you found yourself staring at it one night alone when you were back in your apartment. joel hadn’t given you any hint, any indicator that he even liked you as a person. you mean, sure, he was kind and always polite to you when your dad had him over for dinners. but you noticed he always purposefully put some type of distance between you, and it just didn’t sit right with you. 
so, slightly drunk and alone, you sent him the first text message. a simple, hey, it’s y/n from next door, and then, because you were in a mood and wanted attention: sorry to bother you so late, but my dad told me to text you if i ever needed anything. immediately after you wished you could’ve deleted it, and a few minutes had passed before you decided to put your phone down for the rest of the night. just as you placed it on the table next to your bed, you felt it buzz. think he meant that for when you’re next door, but what can i do for ya? 
and that was that. you and joel texted throughout the night, and then all morning, and all afternoon, and all the next night. this continued for weeks, until you graduated to having nightly phone calls, and then facetime calls (you had to have joel ask sarah how to use facetime to begin with, but you thought that was cute) and for the rest of the semester, joel became your closest friend, and your biggest crush. and when you came home for the summer, you officially started dating joel miller. well… it was official between the two of you. 
you never imagined falling for your dad’s best friend, and yet, here you were, in his backyard, wearing the bathing suit he had bought you, wishing you could at least hold his hand in front of everyone. 
you saw his brown eyes dart in your direction as you moved near the grill, your ears picking up their conversation about the most recent football game. you watched as his pinky finger on the hand by his side extended ever so slightly, and as you walked passed, you brushed your pinky against his. the warmth the feeling gave you made you grin, and you slipped through his open back door, looking for sarah to help you and tommy set up the fireworks display in the street. 
the rest of the evening went by in a blur - there were hotdogs and burgers eaten, smores were made with the small bonfire tommy had started, the music volume continued to increase with every passing hour. by the time the sky was pitch black with only a smattering of stars, everyone was full, content, and ready to sit on the sidewalks and lawns to watch the display happening at the end of the cul-de-sac. 
you sat near sarah and some of her friends from soccer, listening to them gossip about what was going on in their highschool, but your focus was on joel. your eyes followed every movement of his, watching him pick up the boxes you had hauled out there and rearrange them. the gray t-shirt he was wearing was tighter around his arms, and you watched as the material strained against his biceps, his worn blue jeans curving to the muscles in his thighs. 
the sun had gone down hours ago, but your cheeks were burning like it was still noon. 
it finally came time for them to start the first round, and everyone chatted excitedly as they watched tommy set up the firework. you watched as joel tossed his brother a lighter, and before you knew it, sparks were flying across the pavement, and both brothers were running from it laughing. everyone’s head tilted back as they followed the spark, and seconds later a ground shaking boom exploded, the sky becoming colored in blue sparks. the children cheered, the adults laughed, and the dogs went crazy barking. 
you watched a couple more rounds, grinning as kids began chasing each other with sparklers and laughing when tommy burned his finger slightly on a rouge firework. pushing up on your feet, you wiped your pants for straw pieces of grass while you turned to sarah. “hey, i’m gonna go grab a popsicle, do you want one, hun?” the girls eyes met yours and she nodded her head while still talking to her friend. 
you made your way into the garage where you knew joel kept a deep freezer full of goodies on sarah’s behalf. you grabbed the first one you saw, a red cherry popsicle, and opened it while you searched the freezer for sarah’s favorite. you were so preoccupied that you didn’t make out the sound of the door to the garage click shut under the noise of the fireworks, didn’t realize that you were no longer alone until you shifted up and rough, callused hands spread across your exposed middle. 
“joel,” you gasped, turning around in his grip with a laugh. his brown eyes were lit with amusement, but they darkened slightly as they roamed down your chest, down your hips where the strings of the bikini bottoms were peaking out. his hands slid down your sides, resting on the waistband of your shorts as he tucked his fingers through the belt loops.
“y’just had to wear this damn bikini, didn’t you?” his voice was rough, grumpy almost, but that was joel’s typical voice, so you just laughed in response. behind you, the freezer door fell shut, and joel took the opportunity to lift you up so that you were sitting on top. the cold surface made you shiver, but it was joel stepping between your legs, pressing his hips against yours harshly that gave you goosebumps. 
“well, a nice older man did buy it for me, so i felt compelled.” you teased, moving one of your arms to rest against his shoulder while you licked along your popsicle, the treat already melting in the heat building up in the garage. joel’s eyes zeroed in on the movement, and you couldn’t help but grin as you repeated the motion, sucking the popsicle further in your mouth than probably necessary, watching as his brown eyes practically blended in with his pupils. 
“god, you’re trouble,” joel managed to get out before his lips slanted over yours. you moaned into the kiss, consciously holding your popsicle to the side so it didn’t get all over the two of you. your other hand moved to the back of his head, fingers running through his brown locks gently. joel swiped his tongue against your bottom lip and made a low humming sound. “taste like cherries,” he commented, sliding his hand from your waist up to your throat. 
“it’s the popsicle,” you gasped out, feeling joel’s hand encompass your neck. he pulled your hips forward against his by your belt loop, rocking you against him. his lips trailed from yours down to your jaw, down your neck, to your chest. the action had you panting out his name like a prayer, and it only further encouraged him. he managed to untie your bikini top without you noticing, and he roughly yanked the material over your head. 
“let me see this thing,” leaning back, he took the popsicle from your grip, your hand becoming sticky from it melting in your hand. he licked it himself, which had you giggling, but then he put the treat up to your mouth. “open up, baby. wanna see you lick this like you lick me, yeah?” his voice was soft, comforting almost, which went against the actions of his hands, as one tightened around your neck and the other pushed the cherry treat into your mouth. 
your eyes went hazy, and you focused on maintaining eye contact with joel while your face burned with heat. your mouth wrapped around the popsicle, letting him push it in as far as it could go. the coldness of the treat shocked you momentarily, feeling a slight burning sensation against your tongue as he held the popsicle in your mouth for a moment before slowly pulling it out. 
your cheeks hollowed against it, sucking as much of the flavor off as you could, and when joel pulled it out of your mouth, a red string of your spit fell from your lips to your chest, dripping down in between the valley of your breasts. “fuck, honey.” joel groaned, his hips rutting against yours momentarily before he leaned down, licking up the trail of red juice on your skin. a whimper escaped from your mouth as you pressed your chest closer to his mouth, and joel took the opportunity to force the popsicle back in your mouth. 
he slowly moved the popsicle inside your mouth, and even though he had his eyes closed while he pressed his mouth against your chest, you twirling your tongue around the treat, wanting to please him always. you could feel your bathing suit bottom sticking to your core with how wet you were becoming, and you wiggled your hips against joel’s body to get some type of friction. 
he sucked one last kiss against your neck, biting against your skin before he pulled away. “goddamn, baby. such a good girl for me, huh? suckin’ on this popsicle like it’s my damn cock.” his crude words made you whimper, and with one last twist, he pulled the popsicle out of your mouth. his dark eyes stared at your mouth for a moment, taking in how red the popsicle made your lips. how wet they were from your saliva. 
joel’s mouth formed into a smirk before it was pressed against yours. your fingers tangled in his hair, your nails scratching his scalp faintly. he sucked your bottom lip in his mouth, running his tongue over it slowly as if savoring the cherry flavor. his teeth nipped your lip, causing a moan to emit from your mouth. joel grinned against your mouth, and you tugged him closer, desperately seeking more. 
the air in the garage was becoming suffocating, and you could feel sweat forming along your upper body. joel could feel it too, still clad in his t-shirt and jeans, and he gave you one more deep kiss before he pulled away. “you feelin’ hot, baby?” you could only nod your head, a whimper escaping your mouth as he grinned wickedly at you, eyeing the popsicle once more, the treat half melted. “let’s cool ya down, then.”
you watched with a slightly opened mouth as joel moved the popsicle to your chest, and you gasped when he pressed it against your skin, moving it down the valley of your breast. the coldness made goosebumps rise across your chest, and you couldn’t help the small moans at how good it felt. joel’s attention was solely on popsicle, watching the sticky trail of red juice follow where he guided it. 
“joel,” you whimpered, reaching down to grip his forearm tightly. you could see him smile, could see him bite down on his bottom lip as he moved the popsicle to trail over your nipple. the gasp you made had him obsessed, and he ran the cold treat over your sensitive nub over and over again, taking in your gasps and moans, which were being drowned out by the fireworks outside. 
“fuck, you look so pretty like this.” joel muttered, almost to himself, but you could make out the words in his deep voice. he sounded strained, as if he were holding himself back from simply pouncing on you. you wish he would, though, as you could feel your inner thighs become wet with your slick. your core was clenching around nothing, and it had been so long since the two of you were able to get away that you were desperately aching for him. 
the popsicle was melting quicker now, the juices moving swiftly down your stomach as joel traced the popsicle across your chest to the other nipple. you were squirming as much as you could, seconds away from begging joel to stop and to just fuck you already. but you could see it in his eyes that he wanted this, that he was enjoying this, so you let him have it, and you admired the growing bulge in his jeans. 
soon the popsicle was nothing but a puddle mixed into your skin, and joel tossed the stick to the side. “think i need to clean you up now, baby. look at the mess you made,” he said with a tsk, as if you were the one who drew on your chest with the popsicle. you didn’t have it in you to argue, though, especially when joel bent down and took your sensitive nipple in his mouth.
the contrast of the cold popsicle juice with joel’s warm mouth had you groaning, and you slumped against the garage wall as joel traced the popsicle trail with his tongue across your chest. he would pause here and there to place open mouthed kisses along your skin, and you knew in the morning you’d have some small bruises littering your skin. you liked wearing them though, liked having the reminder than joel had marked you as his. because you were, undoubtedly. 
“joel, baby, please,” you whimpered, not fully understanding what you were asking for, but joel thought you were begging so beautifully. he wanted to hear you plead his name for the rest of his life. he pulled your nipple in his mouth, tweaking it with his teeth. a sharp pain flitted through your body, only lasting a second, but he did it again, and again, and soon you were panting.
“please, what?” joel mocked, grinning against your skin as he moved to squeeze your breast with his rough hands. “this not enough for ya?” satisfied that he cleaned up the mess the popsicle had made, he trailed his mouth up to your neck and across your jaw before pausing right in front of your face. his breath was warm as it fanned across your face, and you leaned in to kiss him but he pulled away, a teasing grin on his face. 
“no,” you whined, moving your hands down the waist of his jeans. he let your fingers fumble with the button before he unbuttoned his pants himself, yanking the zipper down. your hand went inside his boxers immediately, and joel let out a curse as your fingers wrapped around the hard length of this cock. just the feeling of it in your hand had you moaning, and you slid your hand along his shaft the best you could in your position. 
“‘course it ain’t enough for you. your needy little cunt needs more, yeah? needs my cock in it to stretch it out?” his hips moved in rhythm with your hand, his hand resting against the freezer top in a fist. his eyes fell shut as you pumped along his cock, and you bit down on your bottom lip as you watched him. you loved seeing him like this, because it made you feel powerful. like you were the only person who could bring joel pleasure like this. 
with a growl, joel’s hands suddenly moved to your shorts, where he unbuttoned them with swiftness and yanked them down. you lifted your hips, helping him get the material past your thighs, and they fell to the garage floor. “feet up, baby.” joel tapped your thigh gently, and you removed your hand from his boxers, lifting your legs up and bending your knees to rest your feet on the edge of the freezer. 
you wanted to blame the wet feeling between your legs on the humid air gathering inside the garage, but you would’ve been a damn liar. you could feel yourself soaking through the material of your bikini bottoms, and you knew the moment joel was able to see it because he let out a string of curses. he brought his hand to the material, running his fingers gently down the seam, and you both moaned. 
“jesus christ, honey. have you been wet like this for me the entire time?” his southern accent was starting to show more, as it did when he got excited. he ran his fingers along the seam once more before pushing the flimsy material to the side and running his finger through your wet folds, and he groaned at feeling how wet you were before sliding one of his fingers inside of you. 
“oh, yes, joel. please, fuck me, please,” you whimpered, your hips rocking against the freezer in tandem with his finger as he pumped it inside of you. if you were more cognizant, you would’ve probably been embarrassed by the noise that was coming from between your legs, but you were too lost in the pleasure, especially when joel moved his thumb up to glide against your clit. 
“you are askin’ nicely, baby,” he said, mostly to himself as he watched his finger push inside of you, watched the wetness that coated it with every pump. he was obsessed with the way you were clenching around him, and he could hardly wait himself to feel that movement against his dick. “yeah, i think i will fuck ya.” 
with one last push, he pulled his finger out from inside you, and laughed when he heard you whine about the loss. “‘s okay, honey. promise i’m gonna fill that little pussy up with my cock real soon, okay?” he made quick work of letting his jeans hit the floor, soon followed by his boxers. his throbbing cock sprung free from his underwear, and you couldn’t help but trail your hand down to your core, pushing your bottoms to the side and slipping your fingers through your wetness at the sight of him. he let out a low groan before spitting in his hand, bringing it to the tip of his cock and slowly palming it while he watched you swirl your fingers against your clit. 
“here baby, make sure ‘m nice and wet for that pussy,” joel muttered, stepping closer to your body as held the underside of his cock in his hand, still pumping it up and down slightly. you ran your fingers through your folds once more, gathering the wetness that had started to spread down your thighs, and reached out to wrap your fingers around his tip. soon, the head of his cock was shining from both his spit and your juices. 
joel moved his left hand to settle on your waist, tilting his thumb down just enough to pull the material of your bikini to the side. his other hand continued to work his shaft as he moved even closer, his knees hitting against the side of the freezer. his eyes were solely focused on your exposed pussy, but you were watching his face, wanting to see his expression when he put it in for the first time. 
“god, you’re so pretty down here. think i’m the luckiest man in texas, baby.” joel said, a smirk settled on his lips as he ran the tip of his cock through your folds, your mouth dropping open in a sigh as you felt it slide against your clit. joel moved to grip the hem of his t-shirt, and he lifted it to his mouth, holding it between his teeth. you took in the sight of his tan and toned body, and then his eyes snapped up to meet yours as he pushed the head into your wet hole, the both of you taking in each other’s reaction. 
you fought the urge to close your eyes, the feeling of his big cock stretching you out was almost too much for you. your nose scrunched up slightly, and a louder moan came from your throat. for the first time that night, you were glad tommy had spent two hours shopping for fireworks, as the sound of the explosives and festivities drowned out your cries. joel bit down on his bottom lip as he continued to push himself inside of you, mentally focusing on not coming right then and there. 
he paused when he was fully seated inside of you, taking a moment to catch his breath as the two of you were both panting in the heated garage. you noticed joel’s forehead had become slick with sweat, and you gently brushed back the dark hair that had fallen forward. your hand slipped down to rest on his cheek, and he pressed a kiss into the middle of your palm before he started moving his hips. 
“fuck, joel,” you whimpered, your foot slipping from it’s hold on the edge of the freezer. joel moved his right hand to grip your thigh, spreading you open before him once more. his nails dug little half-moon imprints in the fat of your thigh, and the angle allowed you to take him a little deeper than before. 
“that’s what i’m doin’ honey,” his words were slightly muffled from the t-shirt in his mouth, but you could see the grin from his teasing, letting out a sharp laugh before it turned into a groan. he moved to pull his cock out, and you almost cried at the loss, your hips moving on their own accord to follow his length. his grip on your waist tightened, keeping you still, until he barely had the head of his cock inside. he thrusted forward again, much quicker this time, and this time your eyes did screw shut at the feeling of is cock filling you up so completely. 
your hands rested on his shoulders, gripping him so hard that you were basically anchoring yourself to him. “so deep, joel… so good,” you praised, your head rolling back on your neck as joel continued to fuck you at a thourough pace. the t-shirt fell from his mouth as he started to moan. his knees banged against the freezer, the freezer banged against the wall, and the fireworks outside masqued both the sounds. curses and praises fell from joel’s mouth - “fuckin’ hell, baby. your pussy gets tighter every damn time i fuck you, huh? you’re doin’ so good, honey, takin’ my cock like a good girl” - and you were feeling so hot, so full. joel was nearly fucking you into oblivion with how muddled your thoughts were. 
the sound of his skin slapping against your wet skin was all you could focus on, a noise you would’ve been more embarrassed by if it weren’t a testament of how turned on joel made you. each stroke of his cock had you whimpering, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. you moved a hand down to your pussy, moving your fingers against your clit and brushing up against his length every time he thrusted inside of you. the action not only made heat pool to your stomach, but it made joel groan. “that’s it baby, play with that little clit of yours. gonna make yourself come on my cock tonight? gonna let me fill this pussy up with my cum?” 
“oh my god, joel, please - right there,” you sobbed, your inner thighs shaking slightly as the feelings became too much to handle. joel picked up on how close you were to coming with how tightly your pussy was clenching around him, and he continued to thrust his hips against yours, the wet noises coming from between your legs made his head feel light. 
small, breathy pants fell from your mouth as you moved your fingers faster against your clit, and distantly you could hear joel encouraging you to let go - “that’s it, honey. you’re takin’ my cock so well, let me make you feel good baby.” - and as joel leaned forward to place a kiss on your damp forehead, you felt yourself burst. a loud cry came from your lips as your body went rigid, little white stars showing up behind your eyelids as pleasure coursed through every vein in your body. 
“oh, fuck, baby,” joel groaned out, his grip on your body becoming impossibly tight as his hips thrust into you, his movements faltering slightly. the feeling of your pussy clenching around his length while you came was what sent him over, and he ground his hips against yours as he came. you could feel his cock throbbing, the warmth from his seed filling you up as joel tilted his head back and moaned. you watched him through hooded eyes, struggling to catch your breath, but the sight of joel coming was almost enough to help you come again. 
he kept his cock inside you as you both came down from your orgasms, and it moved inside you a little when he leaned forward again, making you whimper. “sorry, baby,” joel said softly, slowly pulling himself out while pressing his lips against yours. you eagerly kissed him back, moving a hand to rest on the back of his neck while he deepened the kiss. you felt unbelievably wet, and you couldn’t help but giggle. 
“your cum is running down my thigh, miller.” you said against his lips, causing the older man to laugh. he pulled away enough to take in the mess that was leaking out of your pussy, and then he did something that shocked you - he gathered up the slick with two of his fingers before pushing it back inside of you. your nails dug into his skin as his fingers entered your sore pussy, moaning softly as he watched himself intensely. 
his gaze moved back to your eyes, where he gave you a wicked grin before leaning in to kiss you again. you sighed against his mouth, your body relaxing on the freezer before the two of you started to clean yourselves up. joel went into the house to grab a washcloth and a spare t-shirt for you, considering your chest was stained red and covered in little hickeys. he gently cleaned the mess from between your legs, then himself, and helped you pull your shorts back on. you had him help tie your bikini top again, his fingers coasting against your skin. he gave the back of your neck a quick kiss before turning you around and putting his t-shirt over you. 
“there. now those pervs outside can’t catch a glimpse of ya,” he said, seeming satisfied with himself as he yanked up his pants. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes - his cum was literally dripping out of your pussy and yet he was acting jealous. 
“oh? you mean pervs like you?” you teased, laughing as he swatted away your fingers that were trying to poke him. you thought you heard him mutter something in agreement, but a particularly loud firework went off at the same moment, so you were clueless. you figured that they were on the finale with how frequent and how loud the next few fireworks were, so you gave joel one last kiss before sneaking out the door, which you thankfully noticed was locked. 
as you made your way to the grass, you mentally ran a checklist. you remembered to put your shorts back on, along with your top and a t-shirt. you remembered to clean off the freezer top with one of the towels joel kept in the garage, and you remembered to let your hair down to cover a hickey on the side of your neck. you remembered to go out the garage door, while joel went out through the living room, as he told tommy he was going in to get medicine for a headache. you felt like the two of you had covered all the bases as you sat down on the grass near sarah. 
“hey, where are our popsicles?”
oh, fuck. 
2K notes · View notes
pin-k-ink · 29 days
Text
the sequel // suna rintarou
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tw ⇢ childhood friends to lovers, so much angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol consumption, yearning, happy ending
wc ⇢ 5k
a/n: i never cried so much while writing something
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Suna felt like he was watching a movie. A sad, tragic fucking movie that he couldn't tear his eyes away from no matter how much it hurt to keep looking.
Frame by frame, moment by excruciating moment, he watched you - his best friend, the love of his life - fall in and out of love with someone else. Again.
If his life really was a movie...what role would he play? The sidekick? The comic relief? No, he decided with a bitter twist of his lips. He wasn't even important enough for that. He was just an extra. A background character that no one noticed or cared about.
Someone who faded into the scenery while the bright, beautiful protagonist - that was you, always you - took center stage and shone.
Suna had known you his entire life. His earliest memories all featured you, front and center, with him orbiting around you like a satellite, like a moth drawn to a flame.
You'd taken your first wobbling steps together, hands clasped and eyes wide with wonder. Babbled your first words to each other in a language only you two could understand. Gotten into mischief and skinned your knees and learned about the world side by side.
For as long as he could remember, you'd been his constant, his touchstone. His north star. The axis his whole world turned on. Life without you was unfathomable. Unthinkable.
But somehow, as the years scrolled by like frames on a reel...Suna started to feel like he was watching from a distance. Like there was an invisible wall between you, thin as glass but strong as steel, that he could never quite break through.
No matter how close you were, how many secrets you traded and inside jokes you laughed over and half-spoken conversations you could hold with just a glance...you always felt just a little bit out of reach. Like a mirage that would dissolve into mist if he tried to touch. Something too good to be true, too precious for the likes of him to grasp.
And how could he even think of reaching out, of trying to hold onto you the way he desperately wanted to? How could a mere background character ever hope to stand alongside the radiant lead, the brightest spot in every scene?
No, Suna was content to stay in the shadows. To watch and support and be there in whatever way you needed him, even as it killed him by inches. As long as he could keep you in his life, as long as he got to stay by your side...that would be enough. It had to be.
But god, it was getting harder. Harder to paste on a carefree smile and listen to you gush about your latest boyfriend. Harder to swallow the jealousy and longing clogging his throat when he watched you with stars in your eyes, so incandescently happy in someone else's arms.
Harder to bite his tongue against the confessions that always wanted to spill out, to choke back the pleas and promises and declarations his treacherous heart whispered in the dark.
"I love you," he wanted to say, every minute of every day. "I've always loved you. You're my forever, my reason, my home. Pick me. Choose me. See me. I swear I'll spend my life making you happy, if you'll just let me try."
But he never said it. Never took that leap of faith, too terrified of shattering the fragile status quo. Too scared of losing you entirely.
So he stayed quiet, stayed still, even as he felt like he was cracking apart inside. He watched you fall in love again and again, watched each bright-eyed boy promise you forever. Watched your smile dim and your shoulders droop when they inevitably let you down, broke your big, beating heart so carelessly.
It was a particular kind of agony, holding you while you cried over someone else. Seeing the light go out of your eyes, powerless to do anything but wipe away your tears and murmur empty platitudes. Every hitched sob was a barb in his skin, every sniffle a dagger to his ribs.
He wanted to shake you sometimes, wanted to scream "Why can't you see what's right in front of you? Why can't you see how much I love you? How I would never, ever hurt you the way they do?"
But he never did. Just folded you close and stroked your hair and let you dampen his shirt with your grief. Let you give him tiny glimpses of the mosaic of cracks in your chest before you pasted on a wobbly smile and soldiered on, determined not to let the world see you bleed.
Those cracks scared him. Scared him in a bone-deep way few things ever had. Because he lived in dread of the day they splintered apart entirely. The day your seemingly endless capacity for love and joy and trust finally ran dry, bled out by a thousand careless cuts.
He couldn't bear the thought of your light going out forever. Of those glorious eyes going flat and dull, that incandescent smile withering on the vine. You were the sun and he was just a planet in your orbit - he genuinely didn't know if he could survive without your warmth. Without you, everything would wither.
So he would endure. He would be your rock, your safe harbor, your shelter from every storm. Even if it killed him, even if he shattered to pieces in the process, he would hold you together.
Because a world without your laughter, without your brilliant, untamable spirit...that was no world at all. And maybe his love could be enough to keep you shining. Maybe if he believed hard enough, if he poured enough of his own flickering light into you...you would be okay.
And just maybe, someday...you would turn that supernova smile on him. Maybe you would finally, finally see him. Not as a background character, not as a sidekick...but as a man who loved you with every fiber of his being.
As someone who had been there all along, just waiting for you to look a little closer. To see the shape of his devotion, the staggering depth of his feelings written in every line of his face, his heart in his eyes and your name carved into his bones.
But until that impossible day, he would watch. He would wait. He would bide his time until the credits rolled and the movie ended...and just pray that there would be a sequel. One where he finally got to step out of the background and into the spotlight of your eyes.
Where you were his co-star, his partner, his love. Where you wrote a new story together, one frame at a time, and the only tears were happy ones.
It was a beautiful dream, fragile and gossamer and so painfully far out of reach. But it was all he had, so he clung to it in the hidden depths of his heart and kept watching the scenes play out.
Kept hoping that someday, if he was patient enough, if he loved you hard enough...the dream would become reality.
And you would finally, finally be his.
As the years scrolled by, Suna watched you grow and change, always from a step behind. He watched you navigate the perilous waters of adolescence, cheering you on as you blossomed into a beautiful, vibrant young woman. Watched you stumble and pick yourself back up, watched you learn and evolve and become more yourself with every passing day.
He was there for all of it, every milestone and heartbreak, every triumph and disappointment. When you got your first period and cried from embarrassment, he was the one who biked to the store for pads and chocolate, the one who held you and reassured you that it was all normal and okay.
When you got your heart broken for the first time at sixteen, he was the one who showed up at your window with ice cream and terrible movies, the one who let you sob into his chest and rail against the unfairness of it all.
When you got accepted into your dream college, he was the first person you called, screaming with joy down the line. He'd shut his eyes against the sting of tears, against the yawning ache in his chest at the thought of you leaving him behind...and told you how proud he was, how happy he was for you.
Always, always, he was your person. Your touchstone, your safe place. The one who knew you inside and out, backward and forward and every way in between. He was there in all the big moments...and all the little ones in between that made up a life.
Like the lazy summer afternoons spent lounging in the park, shoulders brushing as you read your respective books, content to just exist in the same space. The midnight walks under a canopy of stars, hands casually entwined, no words needed in the warm, honeyed dark.
The cups of coffee he'd bring you on drowsy mornings, made just the way you liked. The way you'd curl into his side during scary movies, face hidden trustingly in the curve of his neck, his arm a protective shield around you.
All those insignificant, in-between moments...they were everything to Suna. He hoarded them like a miser, turned them over and over in his mind like precious gems on nights when the ache in his chest got too big to breathe around.
Each one was a flicker of light, a tiny ember of hope that maybe, someday...you would see. You would understand just how much he loved you, how much he had always loved you. You would realize that he was right there, that he had been there all along, just waiting for you to really look at him.
But you never did. Your eyes always seemed to skim right over him, to look through him like he was made of glass, transparent and inconsequential. He was furniture to you, he sometimes thought despairingly. Part of the scenery of your life, always there but never really seen.
Never the one you wanted, the one you yearned for. He was the one you settled for, the one you came back to when the newest bright-eyed boy let you down. The one you cried on, the one you leaned on...but never the one you loved. At least, not the way he wanted you to.
God, how he wished you would love him. It was a physical ache, a bone-deep longing that never went away no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. He felt hollowed out with it, scraped raw and empty.
Late at night, he let himself imagine it. Let himself paint a picture of a world where you wanted him back, where you looked at him with even a fraction of the desperate, clawing need he felt for you.
In his weakest moments, he let himself believe it could be real. That someday, you would wake up and realize that he was everything you'd ever wanted, that he could make you happy in a way no one else ever could.
That you would take his face in your hands, eyes wide and wondering like you were seeing him for the first time. That you would breathe his name like a prayer, like a revelation, and kiss him with a tenderness that set his soul alight.
That you would tell him you loved him, that you were sorry for taking so long to understand, but you wanted to make up for lost time. That you wanted to be his, wholly and completely, for the rest of your lives.
It was a beautiful dream, fragile and perfect as a soap bubble. But like a bubble, it always burst, leaving him blinking away stinging tears and feeling like a fool.
Because this wasn't a movie, no matter how much it felt like one sometimes. There was no guarantee of a happy ending, no artful resolution scripted in the stars.
In the real world, the guy pining in the background didn't always get the girl. Sometimes he just stayed in the background forever, watching her life happen without him, until the credits rolled and the lights came up on his lonely little corner of the world.
But oh, how he wanted to believe. He would never be the leading man, he knew that. He was too quiet, too steady, too content to let you shine while he basked in your reflected glow. You needed someone as brilliant and dazzling as you, someone who could match you spark for spark and set the world on fire.
Someone braver than him. Someone who would risk it all for a chance at your heart, instead of staying safe and silent on the sidelines.
He wasn't that guy. He never would be. But a tiny, desperate part of him still held out hope that maybe, someday...he could be enough for you, just as he was. That even if he wasn't the star of the show, he could still be an integral part of your story.
The one who was always there to catch you when you stumbled, to hold you up when you couldn't stand on your own. The one who knew your secrets and your scars, your hopes and your fears. The one who loved every messy, imperfect, beautiful inch of you, unconditionally and irrevocably.
Maybe he could be your co-star, your partner in crime and love and life. Maybe you could write a new story together, one where the quiet, steadfast best friend got his chance to step into the light and be seen, really seen, by the only eyes that had ever mattered.
It was a slim hope, gossamer-thin and liable to tear at the slightest touch. But it was all Suna had, so he held it close and carried it with him, a tiny flicker of light in the dark.
And he kept watching, kept waiting. Kept loving you with everything he had, even as it wore him down to the bone. He would play his role in your movie, would be whatever you needed him to be...until the day came when he could finally step out from the background and into your arms.
Until the day when "I love you" wasn't just a secret whispered in the dark, but a vow made in the light of your smile, your hands in his and your heart beating against his chest.
Until the day when the movie of his life finally got its happy ending...and you were right there beside him, radiant and real, as the screen faded to black and the credits rolled on a love story for the ages.
He just had to hold on until then. Just had to keep believing, keep loving, keep watching.
Because in the end, he knew it would all be worth it. You would always be worth it.
Even if it took a lifetime, even if it killed him...he would wait for you.
Always.
As the years went by and you both grew older, Suna watched you evolve and change in a thousand tiny ways. He watched you graduate college, watched you land your dream job and move into your first adult apartment. Watched you navigate the ups and downs of adult life with the same resilient grace he'd always admired, always loved.
Through it all, he was there. Your constant, your touchstone. The one you called when you got a promotion, voice bubbling with excitement. The one you leaned on when your grandma died, eyes swollen and voice thick with grief.
He was the one who helped you move, lugging boxes up endless flights of stairs and quietly assembling IKEA furniture while you flitted around like a hummingbird, arranging and rearranging. The one who showed up at your door with soup and medicine when you got the flu, who sat with you and watched terrible reality TV until you fell asleep on his shoulder.
He was woven into every part of your life, as essential and invisible as air. Always there, always just a phone call or a text away. Your best friend, your rock, your safe harbor in every storm.
But still, even as you grew closer than ever...there was a distance there. A wall that Suna could never quite breach, no matter how hard he tried. Because no matter how much of your life you shared with him, no matter how many secrets you whispered into the dark...there was always a part of you that held back.
A part that you kept locked away, hidden behind bright smiles and breezy deflections. The part that held your heart, your deepest hopes and dreams and fears. The part that Suna longed to know, to understand...but that you never quite let him see.
It hurt, that distance. It ate at him like acid, slow and corrosive. Because he wanted all of you, every messy, complicated, beautiful part. He wanted to crack you open and crawl inside, to burrow into the hidden depths of your soul and make a home there.
He wanted to be the one you turned to with your whole heart, the one you trusted with your most vulnerable self. He wanted to be your person in every sense of the word, not just the one you leaned on but the one you loved, the one you chose.
But you never did. No matter how much he longed for it, no matter how many nights he spent staring at the ceiling and wishing...you never saw him as anything more than a friend. A best friend, sure, but still just...a friend.
And god, it was getting harder to bear. Harder to swallow back the words that always wanted to spill out, the confessions and pleas and promises. Harder to bite his tongue and smile when you gushed about your latest boyfriend, to offer a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on when they inevitably let you down.
He felt like he was drowning, sometimes. Like he was being slowly crushed under the weight of all the unspoken things, all the pent-up love and longing and desperation. He felt like he was fading away, bit by bit, worn thin by the constant effort of holding himself together, of keeping his heart locked away behind a friendly smile and an easy laugh.
He wasn't sure how much longer he could do it. Wasn't sure how much more he could take before he shattered completely, before he just...broke.
But what choice did he have? He couldn't lose you. Couldn't bear the thought of a life without you in it, even if being near you was slowly killing him. You were oxygen to him, necessary and vital. Cutting you out would be like cutting out his own heart.
So he endured. He swallowed the hurt and the jealousy and the desperate, clawing need, and he was there. Always, always there, waiting in the wings. Waiting for you to see him, to really see him.
Waiting for his chance to step out of the background and into the light of your love.
It was getting harder to hold onto hope, some days. Harder to believe that there would ever be a right time, a perfect moment. That he would ever find the courage to lay his heart at your feet and beg you to take it, to cherish it the way he'd always cherished you.
But he had to believe. It was all he had, this fragile flicker of faith. The tiniest spark of possibility, glowing in the dark.
So he fanned it carefully, tended it like the precious thing it was. He held it close on the nights when the loneliness got too much to bear, when the ache in his chest made it hard to breathe. Whispered it to himself like a mantra, a prayer:
Someday. Someday. Someday.
Someday, you would see. Someday, you would understand. Someday, he would be brave enough, strong enough, to reach out and grasp the future he wanted so desperately.
Someday, your movie would reach its climax. The music would swell, the camera would pan in...and he would finally, finally step into his destiny. Into the starring role he'd always been meant to play, the one he'd been rehearsing for his whole life.
He would take your hands in his, look into your eyes...and he would say it. The words that had been living in his throat for years, the ones that beat against his ribs like caged birds, desperate for freedom.
"I love you," he would say, simple and honest and achingly true. "I've always loved you. And I know I'm not the kind of guy you usually go for, I know I'm not exciting or flashy or whatever, but...I'm here. I've always been here. And I always will be, if you'll let me. Because you're it for me. You're everything."
And maybe, just maybe...you would hear him. Really hear him, the way you never had before. Maybe you would look at him with new eyes, with dawning realization and wonder and joy.
Maybe you would see all the love he'd been holding back, see the shape of his devotion in every line of his face. Maybe you would understand that he was your person, your forever...just like you were his.
"Oh," you would breathe, soft and reverent. "Oh, Suna. I...I never knew. I never saw..."
"I know," he would whisper, leaning in to rest his forehead against yours. "I know, baby. But I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again."
And then...then you would kiss him. Soft and sweet and filled with promise, filled with all the love he'd always dreamed of. You would wind your arms around his neck and press close, and he would hold you like he'd always longed to, like you were the most precious thing in the universe.
Because you were. God, you were. And finally, finally...you were his.
His best friend. His soulmate. His happy ending, the one he'd always been chasing.
The credits would roll, the music would fade out...and a new story would begin.
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The evening had started like countless others - just you and Suna, a few too many drinks, and a forgotten movie playing in the background as you laughed and joked and reminisced. It was comfortable, familiar, the kind of easy intimacy born from a lifetime of friendship.
But as the night wore on and the alcohol flowed, Suna found himself growing quiet, a melancholy settling over him like a fog. He watched you through increasingly blurry eyes, taking in the way the soft light played over your features, the way your laughter seemed to fill the room, bright and effervescent.
God, you were so beautiful. So vibrant, so full of life and joy and everything good in the world. And he loved you so much it hurt, a physical ache in his chest that never went away, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.
"You know what's really pathetic?" he found himself saying, the words slipping out before he could bite them back.
You turned to him, head cocked, a curious smile playing about your lips. "What's that?"
Suna swallowed hard, suddenly feeling like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, toes curling over the precipice. He knew he should step back, laugh it off, change the subject. But the alcohol had loosened his tongue, lowered his inhibitions, and suddenly...suddenly he couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Me," he said, voice rough and scratchy with emotion. "I'm pathetic. Because I've been in love with you for so fucking long, and I've never had the balls to tell you."
Your eyes went wide, lips parting in shock, but Suna barreled on, the words pouring out of him like water from a burst dam.
"I've loved you since we were kids," he said, staring down at his hands, vision blurring with unshed tears. "Since the day you punched that kid for making fun of my haircut in third grade. Since the summer we were twelve and you broke your arm falling out of that tree, and you held my hand the whole way to the hospital even though you were the one in pain."
A smile flickered across his face, small and fond and aching. "I loved you when we were sixteen and you got your heart broken for the first time, and you cried on my shoulder for hours. I loved you when you accidentally burnt toast because you were singing in the kitchen. I loved you when we graduated high school, and you looked so beautiful in your cap and gown that it took my breath away."
He risked a glance up at you, finding you staring at him with a stricken expression, tears tracking silently down your cheeks. "I loved you through every boyfriend, every breakup, every lame movie night and inside joke and 2 AM phone call. I loved you on your best days and your worst days and every day in between."
Suna's voice broke then, a sob catching in his throat. "I love you now," he whispered, raw and ragged. "I love you so much it's like a physical thing, like a part of me. Like I can't breathe right when you're not around, can't think straight when you're near. You're in my veins, in my bones, in every beat of my fucking heart, and I...I can't keep pretending anymore."
The tears were flowing freely now, hot and fast down his face, but he made no move to wipe them away. "I know I'm not...I know I'm not what you want," he choked out, chest heaving with the force of his emotions. "I know I'm just your best friend, just the guy you call when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with. But god, I want to be more. I want to be everything to you, the way you are to me."
He reached out with shaking hands, cupping your face, thumbs swiping at the tears painting your cheeks. "I love you," he breathed, pouring every ounce of longing, every shred of desperate devotion into the words. "I am so fucking in love with you, it's like...it's like I don't know how to be anything else. And I just...I needed you to know. Even if it ruins everything, even if you don't feel the same...I couldn't keep it in anymore. I couldn't keep lying to you, to myself."
Suna closed his eyes then, unable to bear the sight of your face, the pity or gentle rejection he knew must be written there. He felt flayed open, raw and exposed, heart lying shattered at your feet.
But then...then he felt your hands on his, warm and steady. Felt you lean in, forehead pressing against his own, the salt of your tears mingling with his.
"Suna, you idiot," you whispered, and he flinched, bracing for the blow. But your voice was soft, achingly tender, suffused with a warmth that made his eyes fly open in shock. "How could you not know? How could you not see that I...that I love you too? That I've always loved you, from the minute we met?"
He stared at you, hardly daring to breathe, to hope. But you were smiling through your tears, eyes shining with a light he'd never seen before. "You're not just my best friend," you said, hands sliding into his hair, cradling him like he was something precious. "You're my soulmate, my other half. The one person who knows me better than anyone, who's always been there, always loved me, even at my worst."
You pressed your lips to his forehead, his cheeks, the corners of his trembling mouth. "I love you, Suna Rintarou," you murmured against his skin, each word a benediction. "I'm in love with you. And if you want me...I'm yours. Forever."
A broken sob tore from Suna's throat, disbelief and joy and overwhelming relief crashing over him in a tidal wave. He surged forward, capturing your lips in a kiss that was messy and desperate and perfect, pouring every ounce of love, every year of longing into the press of his mouth on yours.
You kissed him back just as fiercely, hands fisting in his shirt, holding him close like you never wanted to let go. And god, he never wanted you to. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, wrapped up in you, in the love he'd craved for so long, the love he'd never dared to hope could be his.
When you finally broke apart, breathing hard, Suna couldn't stop touching you - hands skimming over your face, your hair, your shoulders, like he needed to convince himself this was real. That you were real, that this was happening.
"I love you," he rasped, resting his forehead against yours. "God, I love you so much."
You smiled, radiant and blinding, and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. "I love you too," you whispered. "Always have, always will."
And as Suna gathered you into his arms, as he buried his face in your hair and breathed you in...he felt something slot into place in his chest. A piece he hadn't even known was missing, a hole he'd carried for so long, suddenly filled by your love, your presence, your promise of forever.
From those early days when you first stumbled into each other's orbits, he'd watched your lives play out together like adjacent movies running on parallel screens. Two stories inching closer with each passing year, edging tantalizingly near but never quite converging into one. He was the yearning protagonist, you the luminous star burning bright just out of reach.
But now, in this transcendent moment, the projectors had merged. The credits were rolling on that old, achingly familiar film that had been his constant lonesome companion. And when the lights came up, when the screen flickered to brilliant new life...it was a sequel. Your sequel together at last, 3D and eye-searing in its vividness.
No longer was he resigned to loving you from afar, playing the supporting role in your story. Now you were his co-star, his perfectly matched lead - twin suns burning brilliantly side-by-side in their own cosmic romance.
This was just the beginning. Your beginning, the sequel he'd waited his entire existence to see... and it was more extraordinary than anything he could have ever imagined.
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talesofesther · 1 year
Text
this town’s for the record now
Jenna Ortega x Reader
Summary: Distance is a strange concept. Jenna feels no closer to you now than when you actually were on opposite sides of the world. If she missed you any harder, her heart might leap out of her chest and right into your hands.
Requested by @thenextdawn
A/N: Tweaked the idea just a slight bit but I hope you like it, sweetheart. I wrote half of this very much sleep deprived so if anything is weird blame it on that, also take some technical things here with a grain of salt because I know very little about how shooting movies/series works. Much love babes. <3
Word count: 5k (this got out of hand pretty fast)
Masterlist
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The airport was bustling with people. Some arriving, tiredness clouding their features along with happiness as they were welcomed by loved ones; others speeding down the halls, suitcases in hand as they rushed to not miss their flights.
Jenna, though her flight was about to leave, was stalling. Her gaze skimmed over the crowd around. Her hands tightly held onto yours, as if you'd disappear if she loosened her grip.
And she wasn't too far off.
You brushed your thumb over the skin on her hand, trying to convey some sense of calmness, "I think it's time for you to go, otherwise the plane will leave without you."
Jenna grinned half-heartedly, swinging your joined hands around as she leaned her head on the wall to her right. "Would it be too bad if I let that happen?"
It was your little moment of peace. This corner of the airport suddenly became your fleeting safe haven for a precious second.
"I think," you started, pulling her towards you so you could wrap her in a hug, "some people would be very mad at you if you missed this flight."
Jenna encircled her arms around your waist, closing her eyes as she nuzzled her face on your shoulder, "I'd be with you though," she mumbled, words muffled against you.
Pulling back so you could look at her, you took hold of her hands again.
Honestly, you were striving to keep a strong facade on, to be the support you knew she needed. But deep down, you were holding back your own tears.
"It'll go by quickly, you'll see."
"It's eight months," Jenna sighed, "all the way on Romania. I'm excited about it, but, I never stayed away this long."
The 'we never stayed apart this long' went unsaid.
And it was true. It made you think for a moment that, to the naked eye, you two could easily be seen as a couple delaying their inevitable goodbye. That wasn't the case though, there wasn't a label to what you and Jenna were. Not yet. And it would have to wait until she came back.
"You'll be alright, I know you will," you encouraged, "you're gonna nail this role. You'll be the best Wednesday this world has ever seen," you smiled proudly, not an ounce of doubt in your words.
It got Jenna chuckling, all teary-eyed and flushed cheeks. "You'll text me every day, right? Call too?"
"Of course I will, I already miss you," you pouted.
She squeezed your hands, "promise?"
"Promise."
For those eight months, you kept your promise.
Every day you texted, called, and sometimes video-chatted with Jenna; checking up on her, lifting her mood, or simply talking.
You missed her more than you ever missed anyone in your life, and you could tell she felt the same. But for a while, it was bearable, because you talked every day.
Until Jenna started breaking the pattern.
It started slow, but steady. One unanswered text here, one missed call there, and suddenly you went two or three days without talking to each other.
It was comprehensible, Jenna was working after all. So you didn't think anything of it when the new normal became calling each other every four or five days.
But when those days spaced out, you counted yourself lucky if you heard from her at least once a week, and then every two weeks — her responses short and to the point.
Yet you kept sending her texts; simple 'good mornings' and 'hope you have an awesome day on set'. Because you promised you would, she asked you to.
Even if, involuntarily, you started to feel like a bit of a nuisance to her when she answered you with a plain 'u too' every now and then.
It happened slowly; Jenna became a stranger. A stranger you still loved greatly.
Hey Jen, how have you been? I just wanted to let you know that I got the role for that movie I texted you about a few weeks ago. So yeah, I'm very excited. Hope everything is well, I really miss you.
You stared at the message on your phone, your finger hesitating to tap the send button. You chewed on your bottom lip, trying to get rid of the nerves.
Sometimes it hurts, because it wasn't like this — though that reality feels very far away now.
The filming process for Wednesday wrapped almost three months ago. You knew that because right before she left Romania, Jenna had called you, and for a lovely moment, things felt okay; you could hear the tears in her voice when she told you how much she missed you, apologizing over and over for not keeping in touch and saying how much she couldn't wait to be back, promising to come see you soon.
But that never happened.
You haven't seen Jenna ever since you said goodbye to her at the airport, ten months ago.
You guessed that's what distance does to people.
Yet, the stubborn part of you still texts her sometimes, because when you close your eyes all you can see is that teary-eyed Jenna who made you swear to always keep in touch with her. So you do. You tell her about your little bits of progress in the acting career, about some roles you manage to get, and if you're lucky, you'll get a response with 'congratulations'.
As of today, you haven't heard from her in two months. And if you cried about it a few nights ago, that's no one's business.
You understand she's busy, you see it in her on every interview that you watch — because you know her, you know the way her posture changes when she's getting tired, you know her mannerisms when she's nervous, you know when her smile is not the brightest it can be — but you think that, if she felt for you as much as you feel for her, she'd try to keep in touch. She would come to see you.
You pressed send on the message and put your phone back in your pocket the very next second.
Sad as it may seem, you didn't expect an answer.
"Hey, wait up."
You looked back over your shoulder, only to see your cast mate jogging up to you in the parking lot, big smile on his face.
"Something wrong?" You asked, adjusting your backpack over your shoulder.
"No, not at all," he told you as he caught his breath, one hand coming to rest on your shoulder, "I just wanted to say, you did really good in there."
You averted your gaze when you felt your cheeks warming up, getting compliments from people infinitely more talented and popular than you would always feel surreal.
"I mean it," he ducked down, searching for your eyes, "that was one of the best monologues I've witnessed in a while."
"Thank you," you chuckled nervously, "it means a lot coming from you."
He waved off your words as if telling you, yet again, to stop putting him on a pedestal. "That being said, I've been meaning to ask if you'd be willing to audition for my next movie."
To say your eyes widened in surprise was an understatement, you asked him to repeat himself and he did; grinning fondly, telling you all about the natural talent you have and how he couldn't forgive himself if he allowed it to go to waste.
You, of course, agreed promptly. And squealed like a schoolgirl once he was out of earshot.
Before you got into your car, you took your cell phone from your backpack, still bubbling with excitement as the offer didn't quite feel real yet.
For a fleeting second, the sight of your last unanswered text when you opened the conversation didn't make your heart clench in pain.
Jenna, you won't believe what just happened…
The production of a movie of this caliber wasn't like anything you'd done before; there were so many things going on all at once, so many more people involved, so much more work for you — comes with the territory when playing the main character, you knew that, but still, it was all somewhat new for you.
By the end of most weeks, you were absolutely exhausted.
You pushed open the door of your trailer with a groan, rubbing your temple to try and chase away the beginnings of a headache.
The only lights you turned on were the ones in your little kitchen area, keeping the place dimly lit so it was easier on your tired eyes.
Not bothering to change out of your work clothes for now, you threw yourself on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief when you felt your muscles relax.
Maybe it was the late hour and the vulnerability of your worn-out body; but most nights after a busy day, you found your mind drifting to memories that involved a certain someone. If you closed your eyes forcefully enough, you could pretend to be back there — your shoulder pressed snuggly against hers as she told you all about her day on set, her fingers sneaking to intertwine with yours, the weight of her head when she'd inevitably succumb to sleep against you — memories exist outside of time anyway.
When the screen of your phone lit up, you swore you could almost feel your heartbeat stumbling. You picked it up so fast that it almost fell on your face.
Jenna's name was on your screen, and you hated the way that it brought tears to your eyes.
You hesitated when opening the text, not daring to breathe or get your hopes up.
'That's exciting' was her response to your rather long list of unanswered texts, the last one being the one of you talking about the new movie you're working on.
No 'how are you', no 'I miss you'.
You closed your eyes and felt a tear running down your cheek, typing back the one thing you felt;
Sometimes I wish I had let that plane leave without you.
The movie you starred in ended up being the push you needed to be recognized. It was a success, and you were the reason why.
It premiered only a few weeks after Wednesday did. Jenna became known worldwide, and you sort of did too.
And that's what it took for you to finally see each other again.
If someone told you a year ago that you'd be attending the Golden Globes, you'd call them crazy. Yet here you are; timidly smiling as a billion cameras flash in front of your eyes.
And in the midst of greeting acquaintances, posing for pictures, and talking to reporters, your eyes caught sight of her.
She was nothing short of divine, soft pinkish-brown dress fitting her to perfection and her hair way shorter than when you'd last seen her. You didn't think Jenna could ever be more beautiful, but she's apparently always proving you wrong.
It felt like a gravity pull on your heart, urging you to walk closer to her, and if you ditched a reporter or two along the way, you couldn't care less. Your stomach was twirling in apprehension, it shouldn't be but it is, because sad as it feels, you don't know what you mean to each other anymore.
Jenna had her back to you as she spoke with someone you didn't know. You could feel your hands slick with perspiration when you cleared your throat a little awkwardly. She probably didn't hear, so you resorted to lightly tapping her shoulder.
It felt like seeing her for the first time in your life at the same time that it felt like you never parted ways at all. Though there was this painful squeezing in your chest that's never been there before. You smiled softly, breathing out a simple; "hi."
Jenna's eyes widened the slightest bit when she saw you, her lips hanging open when she had trouble forming words; it was a one-second thing, she was quick to recover and get her features back to impassive. Something you knew all too well was a bad habit of hers — suppressing what she's feeling.
"Hi, I- I had no idea you'd be coming," she told you, her eyes unable to find a place to focus on your face.
You pursed your lips, acutely aware of the cameras on every corner of the place. "Yeah, I tried to tell you but, you must've missed my text." The words felt heavy on your tongue, your smile didn't quite reach your eyes.
"I didn't mean-" Jenna's voice broke halfway through and she clamped her mouth shut to avoid a making scene.
It got you looking up to meet her gaze, and there were so many emotions swimming in her eyes that you couldn't put your finger on any of them.
Before you or she could say anything else, a reporter was calling out for Jenna, drawing both of your attention.
Jenna glanced between you and the reporter, before adjusting her posture and managing a smile. "I'll see you later, okay?" She told you, already turning away from you.
"No, Jenna wait, can't we talk?" You tried reaching out for her hand but she pulled away.
"Not right now."
"I just wanted to-"
She glanced back at you, taking hold of her dress in a white-knuckled grip to pull it up so she could walk faster; "I can't deal with you right now, okay? Please stop… crowding me."
Her voice had little emotion to it, but it froze you in place nonetheless. You figured a knife to the heart might hurt less.
Jenna walked away from you, smiling and waving to the cameras whilst you strived to not make the headlines as the actress who cried at the Golden Globes for apparently no reason.
So you were right in the end, she saw you as nothing but a nuisance.
There was a team waiting to help her get rid of the makeup and glam if she so wanted, but Jenna sent them away.
After such an event, there was nothing she desired more than peace.
Jenna's steps were slow and dragged as she made her way inside her hotel room, still holding onto her long dress, though with much less care than she did in front of the cameras. Part of it is always an act.
She ran a hand through her hair, messing up the previously perfectly styled waves with a sigh.
The shower had been long awaited and she almost napped on the bathtub; not really bothering to meticulously clean up the makeup, leaving a few smudges of eyeshadow here and there — that could be a problem for tomorrow.
And there was nothing more blissful than putting on sweatpants and an oversized shirt.
Her life has been nothing short of hectic ever since starting the filming for Wednesday, so Jenna enjoyed 200% every little time to relax that she had. Though today, she was restless, something had a tight hold on her chest and she couldn't pinpoint what.
She tossed and turned on her bed, unable to sleep even if she was exhausted and she wasn't sure why insomnia decided to kick in now.
That is, until she took her cell phone and a few clips of the event started popping up on the internet, and she caught sight of a picture where, in the background, she could be seen talking with you.
Oh.
That's where this hollowness is coming from.
The bedroom was quiet, the only things she could hear if she strained her ears were the cars way down on the road outside and the faint drizzle that started falling.
It was so quiet, so calm, that for the first time, Jenna felt it. She felt the weight of the past months downing on her.
Jenna had been running on autopilot, so much so, that she became numb to a few of her own emotions. And maybe a few people too.
There was a sudden lump in her throat. Jenna sat up quickly on her bed, clawing at her chest because she couldn't breathe. She mumbled curses under her breath, vision instantly getting blurred as tears collected on the bottom lid of her eyes.
If this wasn't a panic attack, it was something very close to it.
Jenna scrambled for her phone and hastily typed your number on it, shaky fingers bringing the device to her ears.
She held onto her breath when the line started ringing; and when it rang for the last time, she was already sobbing.
"No, no, no," she stumbled out, trying again, "please pick up, please," the pleas fell out of her mouth with broken syllables.
Distantly, she knew she had it coming, she hadn't been fair with you, or with herself. You were Jenna's weakest point, if she had allowed herself to miss you, she'd drop everything to go back. So she bottled up the feeling.
But sooner or later, it would surface, and it hurts more than she thought it would — because maybe her decision had cost her you.
Jenna wrapped her arms around herself, with tears trickling down her cheeks and dripping from her chin — she felt alone, so excruciatingly alone.
Jenna didn't sleep that night.
For the months that followed, Jenna tried calling you multiple times.
You never answered.
It didn't take long for Wednesday to be renewed for season two. It also didn't take long for filming to start.
Jenna saw herself going back to staying in a foreign country for months in what felt like no time at all. But this time around she knew what to expect, how to prepare herself for it.
Or that's what she had hoped, because when she stepped foot on set, she was greeted with the sight of none other than you. You who was animatedly talking with Emma as you held a few papers in your hands; a script, Jenna presumed. A script that had Wednesday written on its cover.
Jenna halted on her steps immediately, sneakers scratching against the floor; the grip she had on her backpack tightening significantly. No amount of internal pep talks could ever prepare her for this.
Next thing she knew, Emma had caught sight of her and was walking in her direction with you hot on her tail. Jenna felt like curling into a ball to try and disappear — not because she didn't want to see you, but because of what she did last time it happened. Part of her knows she won't be able to face your rejection without breaking.
"Jenna, you're finally here," Emma pulled her friend into a hug. Jenna held her back promptly, grateful to have something to momentarily hold on to.
"Yeah," she breathed, "it was a- a long flight." She couldn't help the way her eyes darted to you. And you were so… blank, emotionless.
"Have you met our new cast member? This is Y/n." Emma happily gestured to you, taking a step back so Jenna could properly see you.
There was a heaviness in the air, more than a year's worth of bottled-up feelings just hanging on by a thin thread. Jenna gulped back the lump forming in her throat. It was longing and hurt and guilt altogether.
She had never felt this. Missing someone to the point of feeling like your chest is being ripped open, as if they're on the other side of the world even if, in reality, they're right in front of you — just a few inches forward and she'd touch you. Yet it feels impossible.
"Hi," was all Jenna could utter.
You nodded once, with a clenched jaw and crossed arms, "hi Jenna."
You were avoiding her.
And it was nothing short of torture.
You were avoiding Jenna, as much as two people who work together can avoid each other, but still, you were doing a terrific job. Jenna only caught glimpses of you when it was absolutely necessary.
She had this hole in her chest; it made her restless and anxious. It's been only a week and Jenna already feels like she can't take it anymore. She knows it's affecting her work; she's not able to focus the way she did before, she finds herself zoning out whilst looking at doorways and waiting for you to walk in — most of the time you never do.
Right now, Jenna is sitting in front of a mirror as she gets her hair done for the day. She arrived a little late today, her sleepless nights finally catching up to her right on a Tuesday morning.
The distant smell of hair spray still hung in the air, the bright lights around the mirror still hurt her sleepy eyes so she keeps them closed, enjoying the feeling of the hairdresser doing her braids. She paid no mind when she heard the door opening or when the chair beside hers creaked. Only opening her eyes when your voice greeted the other people in the room.
Jenna didn't dare breathe. She looked at you through the mirror, your gazes meeting for half a second before you averted yours.
Was it too bad that she already kinda felt like crying?
There was this painful tug on her heart whenever Jenna did see you. It felt like remembering all of your good memories all at once — and they mocked her, told her she'd never have anything like it again.
Distance is a strange concept. She feels no closer to you now than when you actually were on opposite sides of the world.
If she missed you any harder, her heart might leap out of her chest and right into your hands.
You're looking everywhere except at her. It's almost bittersweet that Jenna can tell exactly just how nervous you are. Fidgeting on your seat, tapping your knee.
For a moment she wants to reach out and hold your hand, it used to calm you down, ground you.
She doesn't. Instead, she asks; "have you been enjoying the filming so far?" The words tasted strange on her tongue. Like they're all wrong and it's not what she should be saying to you when there's a ten-foot wall between you and her.
You hesitated, as if wondering if she was really talking to you. "Uh yeah, it's been a great experience so far," you said eventually, choosing to glance up at her through the mirror instead of turning your head to actually meet her gaze.
Jenna smiled, just a soft tilt of her lips.
Every minute that you weren't hers was a minute of pure agony.
And it was hardly the proper place for it, but with not knowing when she'd have the opportunity to speak with you again, Jenna took in a deep breath, and tried; "look, I- I've been meaning to apologi-"
"Not now, Jenna," you cut her off pretty quickly, drawing the attention of the few hairdressers around you. You cleared your throat; "we can talk about this later."
Ultimately, there was no 'later'. Jenna couldn't get a moment alone with you after that, and you made no effort either.
But when you love someone enough, you tend to make a few reckless decisions.
Jenna was staying in the same hotel as you, just a few doors away from yours, and she was a good actress.
It was late at night when you unlocked the door of your hotel room. You turned on the lights and instantly jumped back, almost tripping on your own feet; your soul leaving your body for a second.
"What the hell," you mumbled, with a hand over your erratic heart.
Jenna raised her hands and took a step back, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just me."
"How-" you gestured towards her, taking your backpack off your shoulder as the door clicked close behind you, "why-"
"Security let me in… I convinced them," she explained, a faint blush tainting her freckled cheeks as she felt strangely self-conscious under your gaze.
The hotel room wasn't big, quaint with its industrial-styled decorations and orange lighting; but with just the two of you occupying the space, it felt all kinds of intimate.
You scoffed, walking past her and to the bedroom without a second glance, "so much for security."
It hurt, way more than Jenna would care to admit. But part of her knew she brought it on herself. She followed after you, burying her hands in the pockets of her hoodie to hide the slight tremble of her fingers.
Your bedroom was even plainer than the main rooms. All your belongings are pushed to one side and filled only the lonely dresser by the ensuite bathroom door. It reminded Jenna of her own room.
She lazily brought her gaze back to you, her stomach twisting unpleasantly with apprehension; "I just wanted to talk."
Jenna's voice was small, uncharacteristically so, tugging at your heartstrings with each syllable.
This was just Jenna. No actress. No star. Just your Jenna.
You almost gave in right then and there.
But you had your back to her, fidgeting with the zipper on your bag to keep yourself busy. Her presence, her perfume, it filled the whole room, "now you want to talk?"
"I know, I was an- an awful friend to you," Jenna started, unable to stay still on her stance, "I know I should've called more and I'm so-" a sob broke through her voice, you were nothing but a blur in front of her.
"I'm so sorry for what I said," it was nothing but a whisper, said while Jenna hugged herself tightly, chasing some semblance of comfort that wasn't there. Her sudden vulnerability startled you.
You heard it loud and clear, it brought tears to your own eyes, even if you had promised you wouldn't cry anymore.
"That I was just something you had to deal with?" You finally turned to look at her then, and you strived to keep yourself impassive, because Jenna was far from okay.
Her eyes were red-rimmed and filled with tears that were just a blink away from spilling over. She looked so small in the spacious room. "That's not true. Not what I meant."
"Well, that's what it felt like, okay?" Your months of hurting escaped you, "so I'm sorry I kept my promise and I'm sorry it crowded you but you-" you took in a shaky breath to steady yourself, glancing up at the ceiling then back at her, "you meant a lot to me, Jenna…"
It was all it took for Jenna to break, because she saw herself being back in that airport with your hands holding onto her so tightly — and she missed you, so unbelievably much. She could taste her own tears on her lips, the grip she had on herself was almost bruising as soft sobs shook her body; "You mean everything to me, you have to know that. And losing you…" she hesitated, as if fearing that saying the words out loud made them true, her lower lip wobbling, "there's nothing I regret more."
You almost didn't catch her words given the unsteadiness of her voice. It was too much for you and your bleeding heart. You couldn't physically bear to stay one second more away from her.
You walked closer slowly, tentatively, until you were able to embrace her to you.
Jenna buried herself into you, her tears soaking your shirt as you practically held most of her weight all on your own. She held you so strongly you almost had trouble breathing.
For a moment it was all that was needed, you and her holding what was left of each other together.
"I never meant for it to happen," Jenna whispered against you, damp lips grazing the skin on your shoulder, "I never- I was in a bad place and, after the f-filming for Wednesday wrapped up I got called for so many other things I didn't even have time to breathe." She curled herself onto you, her grip only tightening as if trying to merge you into her so you'd never part ways again.
You ran your hand up and down her back, leaving goosebumps on her skin and feeling your own tears trickling down your cheeks. There's no putting into words how much you're able to miss someone until you're holding them again. Until you can finally come home to each other.
For the first time in more than a year, you could breathe.
"I'm so tired," Jenna's small voice came again, tender, right beside your ear, "everything was so overwhelming, I- I felt so alone," she nuzzled her nose against your neck, and you wondered for a moment how long it's been since she allowed herself to receive any kind of comfort.
A beat passed until you were able to find your voice again, a little hoarse and unsteady; "you could've told me, I would've been there, Jenna. You know I would've done anything and more to help you."
With a sniff, Jenna finally pulled back, just enough to look into your eyes, "I know," she pursed her lips, one hand coming up to brush at her cheek, damp with tear tracks — testimonies of her wounded heart that pulses with each beat for you, for you, for you.
With your silence, Jenna kept going, if anything, out of desperation; "I'm so sorry, please I- you must know I never meant for it to go like that."
Teardrops clung to her eyelashes too, eyes shining brightly under the dim lights of the bedroom and her nose a little red. Oh, how you missed her.
You gently raised your hands to her cheeks, your thumbs brushing away a few tiny tears that still escaped her. "It's okay," you breathed.
"Please don't leave me," she mumbled, a soft sob cutting through.
"Not leaving," you promised, leaning up to kiss her forehead, "I'd never leave you."
When her eyes found yours again, Jenna stumbled forward out of instinct, her nose bumping yours.
You closed the gap with the encouragement you knew she needed, "you know I'm never capable of staying mad at you for too long," you chuckled, your lips grazing hers. You were home.
⋆* ☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3
Jenna’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @thenextdawn @alexkolax @aahdiieb @mindingmybidness12 @melthedwarf @smugchorizo @the-lazy-turtle @vorsdany @jjsmaybank20 @wol-fica @v1ci0us
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ranhaitanisgf · 5 months
Note
Congrats on 5k! For the event may I request fluff hcs for "Cafe love" & "sneaking out to go on a date" with Mikey please? Maybe with Mikey crushing on a classmate that works at her family's cafe that he frequents? Thank you!
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—manjiro [mikey] sano // cafe love // sneaking out to go on a date
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☆ ˎˊ˗ me when i didnt read the req fully and wrote a scenario instead of hcs. erm . my bad yall ..... i hope you will enjoy anyways ! i thought this idea was super cuteeee :D have a nice day everyone xoxo
☆ ˎˊ˗ gn!reader
☆ ˎˊ˗ wc ; 1.3k+
masterlist || 2k masterlist
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your shifts have been quite amusing as of late. 
every evening after school, you go to work at your family’s cafe. it wasn’t because it was doing badly; quite the opposite, actually. business had been booming as of late, and you couldn’t be more happy! it was pretty nice that you didn’t have to commute at all, and you were instantly hired, so it was easy money. 
in the last couple of months however, you’d noticed that you had quite the frequent regular. 
a boy from your class; manjiro sano. everybody calls him mikey, (you’re not exactly sure why) and you haven't spoken a single word to him in your life outside of taking his order every time he comes in. he would usually come in with friends, though the frequent one was a very tall boy with a dragon tattoo, (you couldn’t tell if he was your age or thirty years old). there were other times he would come in by himself, and neither of you every spoke outside of the typical ordering conversation. 
despite this fact, you always looked forward to seeing him come in. of course, you already knew all the rumors about him, but they never really crossed your mind. in your own mind, you just saw him as the cute boy who frequents your family’s cafe, which was enough for you to slowly develop a bit of a crush on him. 
it wasn’t like you were in love with him or anything; you were just interested in learning more about him. you could never quite find the chance to talk to him though, which left you to just look forward to taking his order, which was more or less the same kind of interaction every single day. you would’ve gone to talk to him in school, but it was a rare occasion for him to actually show up, which made it even harder. 
well, you guess he’s pretty cute, too. 
but that’s aside from the point!
the bell for the front door rung, the sound pulling you from your thoughts. you quickly finished cleaning up the counter and went to the register, smiling a bit too wide when you saw a familiar face. 
“hi, welcome! how can i help you?” you asked. your smile changed to a more polite, customer service type of smile when you realized that mikey was with a big group of his friends, the boys all snickering behind him as he tried, (and failed) to hush them. 
“hi! uh, can i get the kids meal combo, and…” mikey looked down to you from the menu posted on the wall above you, a bit of a questioning look on his face. “...what’s your favorite kind of cake here?” he asked, caching you a bit off guard. 
“my favorite? uhh…probably the strawberry chiffon cake!” 
“okay, and one of that!” you asked, a smile on his face, (you weren’t sure why he suddenly asked that, but his smile almost distracted you from doing your job). 
“alright! anything else?” mikey shook his head, but stepped aside so that the rest of his friends could order their food. you weren’t sure that you’d ever seen him with such a big group of people, and you weren’t sure if you were just imagining things, but…
…were they all staring at you in a strange way? 
of course, you didn’t say anything, but you could’ve sworn that they all were watching you strangely closely, the same knowing smile on all of their faces. 
it was probably just your imagination. 
when they were finished, they all left to sit down, which then left you to get to work preparing all of their food. you were hoping that they would be a bit patient, given the fact that your coworker for this shift had gone on a lunch break, leaving you to fulfill the order by yourself. 
you finished their food orders rather quickly, leaving you a bit shocked and proud of your accomplishment. when you called out the name for their order, the boys all came up to the counter and grabbed their respective meals, politely thanking you and going back to sit down, (why were they still looking at you like that?). 
the last person to grab his order was mikey, who seemed a bit nervous as he came to pick up his food. his fingers were fiddling with a piece of his hair and he seemed to be mumbling something to himself, and you noticed in the back that all of his friends were staring his way, (very obviously). 
“here is your order! please enjoy!” you said, holding his tray out to him. he grabbed it, freezing for a moment as he seemed to be thinking very intensely about something. suddenly, he took the slice of cake off of his tray, sliding it to you. 
“this…is for you. ‘cause you said it’s your favorite.” he mumbled, his cheeks a pink color as he avoided your gaze. “and! uh…would you want to…go out with me? after you finish working?” he asked, his eyes finally meeting yours. 
you stared at him in surprise for a moment, your eyes moving to look at the cake for a moment before looking back at him. 
“yes! i’ve actually…ahh, so embarrassing!! i’ve been wanting to talk to you, but i never found the right moment…” you admitted, playing with your fingers out of nervousness. 
mikey was about to say something, but he was cut off by the door opening behind you, your coworker coming back in from their lunch break. before either of them could say anything, you spoke, gesturing your coworker to come near you for a moment. 
“hey, do you think you could handle the rest? i don’t think there will be much people after this.” you started to lose hope when you saw their questioning expression. “please! just do me this favor once and i’ll do all the closings for the next month!” when your coworker agreed, you felt relief and excitement, turning back to mikey. 
“let’s go right now!! i know you didn’t eat your food, but my parents will probably tell me to get back to work if they notice i’m not working-oh!” you turned back to your coworker. “by the way, don’t tell my parents, okay? i’ll owe you one!!” 
you turned back to mikey, who was staring at you with wide eyes and his jaw hanging open. your heart pounded in anticipation, wondering if you were maybe going too fast. 
“i mean, uh, it doesn’t have to be-”
“let’s go!!” he interrupted, a sparkle in his eyes. “right now, before anyone notices!” he laughed, looking back to his friends with a thumbs-up. at the hand sign, his friends whooped with joy, all of them congratulating mikey from their table. 
“o-okay! let’s go!” you said, coming out from behind the counter. without a moment to spare, mikey grabbed your arm, looping it around his own as he rushed you to the exit of the store, escaping his friends' sudden questions as they tried to follow. 
“hey, are you good with motorbikes?” he suddenly asked.
“uh, i don’t know, i’ve never ridden on one?” mikey looked at you with a mischievous smile on his face, taking a helmet from one of the (many) motorbikes parked outside. he placed it on your head, sitting himself in the front seat of one of the motorbikes, patting the seat behind him. 
“you wanna try?” 
“uhh…” looking to the side, you noticed your parents behind the counter of the cafe, watching you in shock through the window. you panicked, immediately getting on the back of his motorbike, tightly gripping the edges of the seat. “okay! let’s get out of here!” 
the engine roared to life and mikey put his hands on the handles, revving the bike a bit before taking off, leaving the cafe in the dust. 
you were gonna be so dead when you got home.
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wintersera · 8 months
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Idk if ur ask are still open but do you mind writing cockwarming g!p gamer girl Gigi or winter (or both 🤩🤩idek how that would work tbhh) because they spend most their time gaming and staying up late and barley having time for you so you just sit there watching them play till they can't take it anymore and at the end they prove they still have love for us in the sloppiest, kinkiest, longest, dirtiest, slutiest, (i think you get it) sex ever just making us feel loved but also being so rough and dominate using us however they like 🫣🫣🫣🫣
Also Can I be 💩 Anon (idk I think it's funny)
cw: cockwarming, dom!winter WOAH, sub!reader
LMAOO 💩 anon??? feeling bad bc i let these imagines collect dust since i’m so focused on the stepcest jiminjeong fic 😭 but anyways!!
gamer minjeong,,, you have me interested. and gamer aeri?? i would write about her but i dont really see her as the gamer type hmmm maybe one day.
being sick and tired of minjeongs endless gaming sessions every damn day. like yess baby get that 5k on val!! but let me suck your dick while you’re getting that ace. saying shit like “minjeonngg, its been days when are we gonna have sex?”
her hitting you with the “just one minute i’m trying to plant the spike” like come on,, doesn’t hurt to have a little under desk support once in a while :((
and it was another day just watching her furiously tap at her keyboard- insulting people down the mic bc they didn’t defuse the spike, or they whiffed all their shots on a standing person…
ouhh,,, so sick of her paying sm attention to some silly characters on a screen that you get up from her bed, swivel the chair around, take her cock out and stroke it gently “mmm,, waittt y/n i need to buy shieldss waittt”
getting her rock hard was no issue. she’s a loser for gods sake, getting her hard came easy she also cums easily. you salivated at the sight of minjeongs massive cock, her precum pretty much oozing from her tip- man how you missed the sight “y/n pleeassee- i need to rank up,, please” she looked up at you with those cute puppy eyes you adored, and as much as it was working, you stayed calm. having an unbearable itch for her cock made it more easier for you to not give in.
“let me just,, ah- fuck okay. god, jeongie i forgot how big you were” to her surprise, you were already straddling her lap.
“ahh.. go on, keep playing” a steady sigh slipping out from your mouth,, her cock twitching inside of you?? seeing that she was pretty much over the edge by the way she was gripping her mouse. jeongie carried on playing like normal, a good 40 minutes of a new ranked game, but she was bottom fragging so badly that it made her jolt in her seat whenever she’d fuck up her shots. funnily enough, her moving in her seat wasn’t ideal bc she moaned every time she thrusted a little into your pussy 😭😭 (LEWSERR)
the more she moved in anger, the more she felt her cock getting harder- in which made her realise that she did, indeed, miss having sex with you. at least she was patient i guess? still focusing on her game because her new priority was winning so she could fuck you good.
jeongie ended up top fragging somehow? gaining 10 more kills and finishing up with a win!!! and with that happiness in mind, she stood up, carrying you with her cock still inside you “okay, mmm okay,, i’ll do it now” taking off her nerd ass glasses off of her face as she walked to the bed, your legs still being around her waist.
keep in mind that she still looks like a complete nerd rn, a biggg ass grin on her face bc she ALSO ranked up!! but then it suddenly changed, from nerd minjeongie to a surprising, but very dom looking gaze. you could see fire in her eyesngmgng making your cunt clench around her cock “…you’ve been so patient with me, you deserve a reward” she would ofc take it slow, her carefully rocking her hips and kissing you everywhere making you feel all loved. yk kissing your lips, deepening it by slipping her tongue in 🫣 breaking it to kiss you neck,, then your collarbone, and then peppering your chest with kisses too like,,, omg. her hands would be caressing your thighs, maybe even drawing some circles on your upper thighs bc shes just so loving like that (jeongie is definitely a thigh girl,, im not projecting i swear) would squeeze them every so often bc it gets both you and her going.
further into it she’d get so worked up. the way your moans would sound so sweet to her that her brain automatically switches off,,, no thoughts behind thoses eyes bc now she’s pounding your cunt so roughly. her hands that were playing with your tits where now squeezing and fondling them aggressively- she’d make you such a mess that it would literally end up with you looking so fucked out. leaving so many hickeys on your neck to prove that she still loved and appreciated you. her thrusts became erratic and messy, like your arousal was everywhere on the sheets and everything,, mmm being so pussy drunk that she’d take your legs and put them on her shoulders and rubbing your clit so roughly, but with care if that makes sense?
her face basically said everything. biting her lower lip and her brows furrowing, she was close to cumming. the way she was gripping onto the sheets and moaning so loudly your neighbours could hear, it made you grow closer to. finally jeongie came- her high pitched moan sent you overdrive, your pussy clamping down hard on her that no drop of cum leaked out as you milked her dry 😭
by the end she was exhausted as fawk.. having to work hard for val and working hard to please you GIRLY WAS OUT.. PASSED TF OUT!?!? but you were happy nonetheless,, finally getting minjeong to fuck you after god knows how many days.
mhngng gamer minjeong come over rn i need you badly,, also lawl if this is bad OOPSIES i think i lost my smut writing abilities
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profound-imagination · 4 months
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Before You Go - Fenrys Moonbeam
A/N: I’m so freaking proud of this fic I hope you love it! Also I’ve tried my hand at a lil smut so please feel free to give constructive criticism!
T/W: Maeve, Smut, Vision of Maeve & Fenrys, Angst, Death - I think that’s it! Let me know if I’ve missed any!
W/C: 5K
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100 Years Ago:
“You did what?!” You seethed at the White Wolf who was looking anywhere but at you. “I swore a blood oath…to Maeve.” The words hit you like a physical blow and tears lined your eyes. “Why…why would you do that?” You asked, swallowing the lump in your throat. He looked at you then, his face shuttering as he took in your unshed tears. “For Connall, the things she makes him do, Y/N, I can’t, I can’t allow it.” You sighed, heart breaking as you looked at the Male in front of you, your mate. Not that he knew, if he did he hadn’t told you, just like how you hadn’t told him. “He’ll resent you for taking his place, Fen, he came to visit, while you were gone with your elite force, he seemed happy.”
You’d grown up with the twins, your parents serving under theirs but there was always something about Fenrys, something that pulled you in. They were five years older than you and you’d put it down to a school girl crush. Connall hated it. He didn’t speak to you for 2 years after he confessed his feelings for you on your 18th birthday. You had just looked helplessly at his twin and he had known then, had understood there was something unspoken between you and his brother. It infuriated him. Connall had always felt lesser than his twin, who was favoured by their father and now by you, it seemed. “I can’t let her have him like that, Connall deserves a true and pure love, not this.” You scoffed, “What, so it’s better for you to be her whore instead?” You spat, his eyes hardening at your words, “Tell me, will you be allowed to leave her chambers? To be the warrior you always wanted to be or will you be leashed to her bed like the dog that you are?”
Anger rolled off of him in waves as he took a step back from you, “That’s enough.” He said quietly but you were so past trying to understand his reasoning. “Maybe he loves her, Fen? Did you think of that?” He scoffed this time, “Even if he does, she doesn’t and won’t ever love him back, she’s incapable of it.” You put your hands on your hips, “So what now? You’ve come to say goodbye? Tell me I’ll never see you again?” His face softened as your voice cracked. “You’ll see me again, but yes, I came to say goodbye.” Anger was still coursing through your veins as you said, “You better go then, your shackles on her bed are waiting. Goodbye, Fenrys.” You turned and walked away, you didn’t look back.
85 Years Ago:
The first ten years without the twins, without Fenrys, had been hard. You’d lost your parents to one of Maeve’s many wars, the twins' parents only just making it back themselves. They had taken you in, despite the fact you were an adult and your own parents had left you more than enough. It was like their mother knew this would be the final blow for you and she refused to let you fall into your despair. She’d moved you into Fenrys’ room, “So you’re here when he comes back,” she had said, “A mate's presence heals most things, even if they're not physically here.” You didn’t know how she knew nor did you ask at the time as you crawled into his bed and slept for days.
Fenrys sent everything he was feeling down the mating bond unknowingly. You could stop him from feeling your feelings which you’d been actively doing since it snapped for you but you couldn’t block his. The hatred, the anger, the sadness, the submission, the pleasure. It made you physically sick. Sometimes, when his emotions were particularly high, you saw it all as well, through his eyes. You’d never forget that first time.
Maeve on top of him, her naked form grinding in his lap. “What’s the matter little pup?” She taunted from above him, “Performance nerves?” He was panicking, you could feel the panic coursing through him, the dread that if he didn’t perform she’d bring Connall in here instead. She scraped her nails down his chest, “You really are pretty for a dog, Fenrys.” She crooned, rolling her hips again, “I can help you enjoy it and perhaps eventually you’ll learn to enjoy it on your own.” She leant forward and kissed up his neck, her canines scraping as she went, disgust shot through him as one hand wrapped around his throat and the other slid towards his cock. “Enjoy it.” She whispered seductively in his ear, “You want me, Fenrys, you want this.” She sucked on his earlobe and the disgust started to dissipate, replaced by lust. “You want to fuck me, to satisfy me.” She continued as his cock stiffened in her hand. She dragged herself up his body, until she had a leg on either side of his head. “Go ahead pup,” she crooned, “eat.”
You witnessed the whole thing. She had ridden him until she was satisfied and when he was spent she sent him away like he was nothing. The last thing you saw when Fenrys opened her chamber door was Connall on the other side, betrayal like nothing you’d ever seen written across his face. You’d thrown up until your body had given out and you moved out of his room and his parents house the next day.
This went on for ten years until you’d had enough, you couldn’t take it anymore, feeling what he was feeling, witnessing it. You had amassed the funds your parents had left you and ventured to Doranelle, for an audience with the Queen. You smoothed down the skirts of your dress as you waited to be called into her throne room. Fenrys was here and nearby, you could feel the bond coming to life and singing that its counterpart was close. A guard approached and nodded for you to follow him, so you took a deep breath and did just that. It’s for the twins, you told yourself over and over again as you rounded the corner and took in Maeve sitting upon her stone throne, two wolves sat either side, one white, one black, both of their ears shot up and their eyes widened as they took you in. A white tailed hawk sat above her right shoulder, a massive Osprey sat above her left. In one of the alcoves close to the throne stood the biggest male you had ever seen and another male with golden hair and tattoos.
“You asked for an audience?” Maeve asked, her voice sounded bored and uninterested. You bowed as low as you could before speaking, “Yes your majesty, thank you for granting my wish.” You said, your voice sounding stronger than you felt, she waved a hand for you to continue. “I have come to ask if you will allow me to buy the wolves out of their servitude? They are needed at home but of course majesty I understand they are of great importance to you so I offer all that I have, including myself, in their stead.” Maeve tilted her head in consideration. Connall was staring at his queen, but Fenrys, Fenrys was staring at you, a sadness in his eyes, a desperation telling you to take back your offer and run.
Maeve tipped her head back and laughed, she laughed like you had told the best joke she had ever heard and as quickly as she laughed, it ended. The Fae Queen leveled you with a look, “No.” You stepped forward, Connall bared his teeth and let out a warning growl that shocked you to your very core. “But, I-“ the Queen cut you off, “I said no, like you pointed out, girl, they are of great importance to me and this one,” she said, placing a hand on Fenrys’ head, “He pleases me ever so well, so no, girl, I’ll keep them both, leave.” Your mouth dropped open and Maeve sighed, “Lorcan, see our guest out.” The giant of a male stepped towards you and Fenrys whined his protest, “Hush, pup, get upstairs.” Maeve commanded and you were escorted out with a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’d made everything worse for him.
A knock woke you from a fitful sleep. You hadn’t even made it to your bed, you had passed out drunk on the sofa and you winced as the wine bottle rolled off of you and smashed on the floor. You’d deal with that in the morning you decided as you stumbled to the door and flung it open. A fae male with long silver hair and face tattoos stood on the other side, along with the golden haired male from earlier. “So she’s sent you to kill me then?” You asked as you turned and walked into the kitchen, leaving the door open for them to follow. “Drink?” You asked, pouring yourself a whisky and sliding the bottle and two glasses over to the other side of the table where they now stood. “I won’t fight you for my life,” you told them, “There’s nothing left of it anyway.” You said gesturing around the house.
The silver haired one snorted as he took in your home, “Wow, you really aren’t doing well without him are you?” The golden haired one hissed as he elbowed his friend, “Rowan!” He scolded. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m Gavriel and this is Rowan, we aren’t here to kill you, we’re here to help, sort of.” You raised an eyebrow, “Help? With what?” You questioned, “You feel him don’t you?” Rowan asked, “We can teach you to block him out, so you don’t feel him if you’re too much of a coward to tell him he’s your mate.” You crossed your arms over your chest, “You’re an asshole.” You told Rowan, Gavriel nodded his agreement, “An asshole I might be, but I’m trying to help you, do you know what she would’ve done if she realised what you were to him, to both of them?” You shrugged, “It isn’t fair that they are chained to her like that, it’s not fair to any of you, loyalty should be earned, not taken.” Gavriel sighed, “Let us help you.”
So you learned from them, well, from Rowan mostly, over an exhausting couple of days. Gavriel kept himself busy fixing whatever needed fixing in the house and tidying up so you had somewhere presentable to live. “Oh and one more thing,” Rowan said as they turned to leave that evening. He turned, producing a letter out of his satchel and you instantly recognised the scrawl on the envelope. “Keep those shields up, Y/N.” He said before walking out the door. Gavriel smiled kindly at you, “For what it’s worth, I think he regrets it, leaving you, everyday.” You sighed, “I was so mean the last time I spoke to him, I was angry and I didn’t mean any of it.” You said quietly, “I think he knows that too,” Gavriel said, “but I’ll make sure to tell him.”
You smiled at him softly, “Why did you both come to help me?” You questioned, Gavriel glanced outside and then back to you, “Rowan’s pregnant mate was murdered & I walked away from my mate and child because of the fear of Maeve, we don’t want the same for Fenrys, we’re quite keen on the pups and somethings Y/N, somethings are worth fighting for.” With that, he took your hand, kissed your knuckles and left.
You slid down the front door, pulled your knees to your chest and ripped open the letter Rowan had given you. There was such anger in Connall’s words, at you, at his brother. But there was also sorrow and a plea for you to never step foot in Doranelle again.
You spent the following weeks wondering if you’d be betrayed, but no one ever came for you.
50 Years Ago:
Gasping quietly you dropped the dishes you were washing in the sink with a splash, the bubbles splattering up your apron. You threw open the door to Rowan and the tall male you hadn’t met yet. “What happened?!” You snapped as you took in Fenrys hanging between them. “Move!” The tall male hissed as they shoved past you, “Clear the table!” Rowan commanded, panic seized you as you swept the table with your arm. “What happened?!” You snapped again and Fenrys groaned as they placed him more gently than you’d expected on the table. “He’s been testing the leash, stupid boy.” Your eyes snapped to the tall male, “Sorry, who the hell are you?” He didn’t even look at you as he grunted, “Lorcan.” You looked back down at Fenrys, “She did this to him?” Rowan looked at Lorcan who shook his head but Rowan answered you anyway, “Connall did.” Anger flooded through you, “Connall?!” Fenrys let out a wet, labored cough, “No,” he croaked. “She commanded it,” Lorcan drawled, “But he didn’t seem to hesitate or fight it.”
You watched quietly as the two warriors worked on Fenrys. Your entire body was tense. Fenrys had passed out 30 minutes ago, a blessing you supposed, that he couldn’t feel what they were doing as they were putting him back together. A shadow outside the window caught your eye and you stalked out the door. “You’ve got some nerve.” You spat at the Black Wolf who was sitting at the tree line of your property. “How dare you turn up here?!” With a flash the Black Wolf was a Male prowling towards you. “He’s my brother, I need to know if he’s okay.” You scoffed, “You did this to him!” You exclaimed, stepping up to him. “I didn’t have a choice!” You rolled your eyes, “They said you didn’t even hesitate or try to fight the order!” You watched Connall’s eyes shoot over your shoulder and then back to you. You felt Rowan at your back. “Are you here for you or for her?” He asked, his voice tight. “For him.” Connall snapped. Rowan nodded and beckoned him to follow. You huffed and followed the two males into your home, the tang of blood in the air.
They’d moved him to your bed when they’d patched him up. You had sat next to the bed, back rigid. Your eyes watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Around 3am his eyes cracked open, finding you instantly in the darkness, “Am I dead? Is this heaven?” He rasped. You rolled your eyes, “No, you aren’t dead, they brought you here.” He nodded weakly. “Where are they?” He croaked, you handed him a glass of water, “Lorcan and Connall went back, Rowan’s flapping about outside.” You told him and he huffed a laugh then winced. “Stop it.” You scolded him.
You’d brought him some food and stuck your head out the door to let Rowan know he was awake before returning to Fenrys. “How are you feeling?” You asked, “Why are you doing this? Helping?” He asked at the same time. “Because it’s you and I’m an idiot.” You muttered quietly. “It was stupid of you to come to Doranelle.” He said, “I’m not sorry.” You snapped. “Your brother nearly killed you today, he didn’t think twice about it, he just obeyed.” Your voice cracked and tears welled up in your eyes. Fenrys sighed, “It’s the blood oath, he didn’t have a choice.” You gave him a scathing look, “Get some rest.” You said, voice sharp and you turned to leave. “Hey?” You turned to face him, he held his hand out towards you, “Come here?” He asked, patting the space next to him. The bond was screaming at you to do so, to join him, to not leave him injured and alone in your room so you caved and crawled in next to him. “You know I love you right?” He asked into the darkness of the room. “Yeah, I know.” You answer, heart cracking because you knew he didn’t mean it how your entire soul craved him to mean it.
Now:
“What are you doing here?!” You span at the sound of his voice. “Fighting? We got the call.” You gestured at the battlefield that surrounded you. “You can’t be here!” He snarled, “Well I am! You snarled back. “Pup! We’ve got to go, you can fight with your girlfriend later!” Rowan shouted as he landed next to you, “Hi, Y/N.” You smiled at him, “Aedion is injured, get up to the battlements and see where you can help.” Rowan told you, you nodded at him and took off, Fenrys shouting after you.
You clung onto Aedion, tears in your eyes as Gavriel stepped through the gate. You’d grown to love Gavriel, he’d visited you every time he traveled past your home over the years, always stopping in for a cup of tea, you had your suspicions that he was reporting back to Fenrys but he’d become your friend either way. “Let him go, Aedion.” He fought against you, “He’s doing this for you, the only thing he feels he can do for you.” So the two of you watched as the Lion of Doranelle stood his ground as the gate shut him out.
It was over. It was won. You’d watched from the battlements as Fenrys delivered the killing blow to the tyrant Queen. Had watched them morn Gavriel from the outside while you quietly mourned the Wolf that was no longer with you. Aelin had approached you in the garden one evening, as you sat amongst the flowers, watching the sun disappear, talking to Connall as if he could hear you. “You’re staying.” A fact, a demand from your Queen, not a question. You looked up at her and she smiled, “Rowan’s not so good with the secrets.” You laughed as he huffed behind his wife. “He’ll need you.” You gave her a kind smile, “I doubt that, but if it’s what you wish for, your majesty, I will stay.” She gave you a look that said she knew she was right and turned to leave, “Actually, with your permission, there’s something I’d like to do.” Tears welled in Aelin’s eyes as you told her what you wanted, Rowan approached and smiled and put a hand on your shoulder, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” He said, Aelin nodded her agreement.
Fenrys found you a week later. “What are you doing out here?” He asked, approaching you in the Royal Graveyard of Terrasen. You were knelt in the dirt, hands covered in it. Flowers surround you, Zinnias for remembrance and goodness, Yellow Carnations for friendship and gratitude, Violets for faithfulness and devotion, Anemones for protection and sacrifice and Daffodils for rebirth and hope. “He mentioned you had become friends over the years…” he trailed off, realising that it wasn’t Gavriel’s grave you were kneeling in front of. You looked at him over your shoulder, and then moved aside to reveal a gravestone, that simply read:
Connall Moonbeam
Brother
Friend
Beloved
Black Wolf of Doranelle
A raw, broken sound left Fenrys as he crashed to his knees at the sight of his brother's grave and you were there, next to him, holding him. “I thought it would be nice if we had somewhere we could talk to him.” You told him quietly as he sobbed into his hands. “He visits me in my dreams, the first time was the night he died. He came to me and told me what had happened. That you needed me. I set off the next day to find Aelin, to help however I could.” Fenrys fell into you, sobbing into your neck. “He kept me safe, when I slept rough, he’d tell me to wake up, to move.” You kept talking as Fenrys calmed slowly, “He had things left to say to me, we both cried as he told me he’d loved me once but he knew, had always known I’d belonged to his brother, that I had to find you, that you’d need me, that after everything, he’d get me to you safely, the last thing he could do for you.” You ran a calming hand down his back, “He had a message for you, he said he loves you, more than anything, he forgives you for everything and he’s sorry for his part, he said that it was meant for you, the dagger, but it was too far and he couldn’t allow it.” Tears were running down your face by the time you finished speaking. “If I could change it, if I could take his place so he could be here with you, I would, in a heartbeat, Fen.”
Fenrys remained quiet for a long time after you had told him everything. He clutched your hand like it was his tether to the earth. Finally he looked up at you, his onyx eyes meeting yours and you saw the exact moment he felt it too, the bond. You watched it wash over him, watched him figure out what it was he was feeling. “You…you’re…” you nodded at him, “Yes, I am.” He blinked, “How long have you known?” He croaked and you let out a humorless laugh, “A long time, Fen.” “How long?” He repeated, “Since before you swore the blood oath.” You admitted, “You’ve known for over 100 years that we’re mates and you never said anything?!” You opened your mouth to reply just as Rowan and Aelin approached, “We’ve all known Boyo, it was fairly obvious.” Aelin elbowed her husband. “You’ve done a wonderful job on Connall’s grave, Y/N.” She said, “I’m sorry I never got to know him.” She said to Fenrys, wrapping him in her arms. “He’d have loved you.” Fenrys mumbled and you and Rowan laughed your agreement.
Over the following weeks Fenrys started coming around more and more. Getting to know you again he’d said. You’d cried as Aedion swore his oath, took his birthright and Fenrys had laughed at you, wiped your tears and held your hand for the rest of the ceremony. “Dance with me?” He asked as the Coronation Ball went on and on. You smiled up at him and took his had, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor and into the first dance. Your body fit against his in the best of ways and from what you felt, he knew it too. It was on your third dance that he seemed to throw caution to the wind and his hand left your waist to cup your face as he brought his lips down to yours. It was like the world had gone silent. He pulled you impossibly closer to him as his kisses descended down your neck. “Let’s get out of here.” He spoke against your neck, “Please?” You begged him. He smirked at you as he pulled you towards the doors.
The two of you only made it a few corridors at a time before you were swept up in kisses and touches again. By the time you were halfway to his room, you realised, he was carrying you, your legs wrapped around his waist, dress up around your hips, his hands on your ass, groaning at the feel of it, of the feel of your teeth against his neck. “Fuck it.” He growled three corridors away from his room as he pinned you against the wall with his hips and pulling the top of your dress down. He groaned as he took in the sight before him and ground his hips into yours causing you to moan. He lowered his head, kisses starting at your neck, trailing down to your chest where he worshiped each breast and nipple, the sensations causing you to writhe against him.
“Can you be quiet for me?” He asked, pulling away from your chest. You nodded eagerly as he sank to his knees, anticipation tightening in your stomach as he threw your legs over his shoulders, his head disappearing under the skirts of your dress. Kisses began traveling up your legs, “No underwear?” He mumbled more to himself than to you as his mouth neared to where you wanted it the most. His tongue licked a broad stripe and you jerked at the sensation, letting out a loud moan. “What did I say about being quiet?” He teased as he head appeared from under your skirts before going right back to where it was before. Your fingers scrambled for something to grab onto and settled for the of your dress that was covering his head as he sucked on your clit, waves of pleasure zinging up and down your spine.
“Please, please, please” you were begging as that familiar coil started to tighten in your stomach. “Please what?” He asked against your clit, the words vibrating beautifully. “Tell me what you want love?” He asked, nipping at your thigh. “Make me cum, Fen, please I’m so close.” You whimpered as he started his minstrations again. Two calloused fingers pushed into you and you threw your head back into the wall, his lips still sucking at you. “Plea-“ your begging was cut off as his fingers curled and hit that perfect spot and the coil in your stomach snapped and you and the world fell apart as your orgasam ripped through you. He kept going, drawing it out as long as he could.
His smirk was feline when he emerged from your dress and set your shaking legs back on the ground. You threw yourself at him so hard he stumbled back into the opposite wall as he caught you. You began attacking his neck with kisses, teeth scraping along his throat as you pulled his shirt out of his trousers and tried to undo the buttons. “Take me to bed. Now.” You breathed against his ear and he froze. Completely froze. His arms dropped away from you and his whole body was ridgid. You pulled away from him, realising quickly what had happened and your heart threatened to disintegrate at that haunted look in his eyes.
“Fenrys?” It was like he couldn’t hear you. Whatever memory of Maeve he was reliving had trapped him and you weren’t sure how to get to him. You had just began to panic when Chaol and Yerene walked down the hallway, “Get Aelin, now!” You snapped at Chaol as Yerene stepped towards him. “Don’t!” She stopped dead and looked at you. “I don’t know what he’s reliving and how he’ll be when he comes out of it, you’re with child.” You said more gently and she nodded in understanding, “Go with Chaol, bring Rowan too!” She nodded as she ran to catch up with her husband. “Fen, please, come back to me.”
Footsteps rushed down the hallway and then Aelin was there, Rowan next to her. Lorcan behind him. Chaol and Yerene behind him. You knew you didn’t fit this picture, this group. So you watched, back against the wall Fenrys had just had you against as the Queen of Terrasen pulled your mate back after you had failed to do so. His eyes cleared and darted around the hallway, he smiled down at Aelin and Rowan clapped him on the shoulder. Lorcan, Chaol and Yerene departed back to the ball as the Queen and King spoke with their Emissary, their friend & you turned and fled. You had done that to him, you were no better than Maeve.
“I don’t know how to do this.” You sobbed, “I don’t know how to be what he needs.” The gravestone didn’t answer. “I wish you were here, Con.” You told him, “It’s not right without you and I keep messing everything up.” You let out some more sobs as Fenrys’ haunted face flashed through your memories again. Twigs breaking behind Connall’s grave had your head shooting up & there he was, your White Wolf. “I’m sorry, Fen, so unbelievably sorry.” You told him as he prowled over to you.
He approached, studying you and your tears, then licked a great stripe right up the side of your face, which caused you to snort in disgust and then laugh. Fenrys huffed out a sound that you assumed was as close to a laugh as he could do as a wolf and then he curled himself around your back, and a contented rumble left his chest as you leant back on him. “I’m sorry I put you back there, I’ll be more careful with my words next time.” You said quietly. He huffed again, nuzzling his face into your side, a feeling of warmth, thanks and understanding filled your chest and you knew it was him. “Can we stay out here with Connall tonight?” You asked, he nodded and put his head down on a massive paw, leaving the other for you as you curled up into his fur. “I love you, Fen.” You mumbled sleepily, “I have for most of my life.” You felt the moment he shifted, arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his chest, “I love you too.” He said, kissing the top of your head.
Connall Moonbeam smiled down at the sight of his twin brother and his best friend, curled up together by a grave that he was not in. It didn’t matter, they had honored him with it anyway. They continued to honor and remember him for the rest of their lives, especially on the day their son was born and they gave him the name Connall Gavriel Moonbeam. Gavriel clapped a hand on his shoulder as he walked away from him, into the arms of the mate he’d been missing for so long. Connall smiled down at his brother and his family one last time and followed Gavriel and his mate into the light, there would be no more dream visits, he had nothing more to offer his friend, besides, he’d see them both again some day.
140 notes · View notes
thelarriefics · 5 months
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Louis hates Christmas. With good reason, too. And no, he doesn’t want to talk about it. When research for his next novel leads Louis to the website of a quirky little hotel in Northumberland, there is exactly one room available for the two weeks that Louis really wants to get away from his family. Will the fairy lights, kind smiles, homemade pastries, and genuine friendships awaiting him in Harry Styles’ hotel be enough to cause Louis a change of heart?
📖 Baby, Won't You Look My Way? by @peachbootylouis (50k)
Or the where Louis’ routine centered life runs like clockwork until a chance hook up throws a wrench named Harry into it all. But as it may turn out a change in plans could be what Louis has needed all along.
📖 Cabin Fever by @germericangirl (46k)
One cabin, one bed, two ex-boyfriends. What could possibly go wrong?
📖 silver lining, perfect timing by @stylesthebrave (22k)
For as long as they've been friends, the whole world has been saying Louis and Harry should get over themselves and date already. It takes an impromptu winter holiday for Louis to admit that everyone else might have been right all along.
📖 as in olden days by @scrunchyharry (18k)
Château Frontenac hotel, Christmas 1925   When his father insisted the entire family spend Christmas abroad in one of his new investments, Harry dreaded the prospect of being trapped for weeks in the biting Canadian cold, so far away from the roaring excitement of his London life. As he crossed half of the world to be buried under a thick blanket of snow, he never imagined he would meet a charming bellhop who would do his best to keep him warm.
📖 I Can Build Your Heart A Home by @loveislarryislove (10k)
Or, Harry and Louis kind of secretly sort of dated in high school. Now it's two years later and they're both back in town for Christmas and it's awkward. Until it isn't.
📖 promise not to fade away by @nobodymoves (10k)
Louis is an A&R rep, and Harry is a singer/songwriter. They meet on New Years Eve.
📖 It's Thursday. Let's Get (un)Dressed. by @bananaheathen (9k)
When Louis is peer-pressured into downloading TikTok over the holidays, he fully expects to hate it. And he does hate it. All of it. Well... except for aspiring OOTD influencer, @harrystyles.
📖 I want your midnights by @guccistrawberries (8k)
or It all starts with a harmless round of the name game
📖 Happy New Life's! by @outofmycistem (5k)
If everything would work out perfectly, in case it didn't already happen until this point, they would be out in exactly 10 years. With a simple tweet of a picture and a 3 sentence text. Because it's as easy as that and even if they would forget about it, which they swore they wouldn't, it wouldn't be that much of a deal anyways, right? Or, the one where Harry and Louis (more or less) accidently come out with a tweet they planned 10 years ago.
📖 Know What You Need by @absoloutenonsense (4k)
Harry always thinks he knows what he needs, but Louis knows better.
📖 Rapture by @allwaswell16 (3k)
It was New Year's Eve in Victorian London, and a lonely vampire could no longer resist the stunning lamplighter he watched night after night. Or, a vampire Harry fic because what says the holidays like Victorian vampires?
📖 this far from mediocre by @louisandtheaquarian & @zaynmaliksmiddlefinger (2k)
In this scene, Louis meets Zayn for the first time at an industry party on New Year's Eve that Liam is DJ-ing. Oh, and Harry shows up too.
📖 Stroke of Twelve by @larry-hiatus (2k)
Or the one where Louis wants Harry to hold off his orgasm so they can come together at the stroke of twelve on New Year's Eve.
📖 anything for you, gorgeous by @track-five (1k)
after a long night of new years celebrations, louis somehow manages to get his boyfriend home in one giggly, clingy piece.
📖 a taste of bliss by @beckydoesthings (1k)
It's New Year's Eve, and Louis is working. As much as he hates it, there's a few benefits to working a holiday. One is the free champagne. The second may or may not come in the form of a curly haired sous chef named Harry.
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Text
❣️If You fall, I fall!❣️
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Pairing: Daniel ricciardo X Cherrie!
Word count: 5k
Summary: in which Cherrie is a clumsy idiot. Daniel loves her anyways.
Daniel loved his girlfriend , he really did. And anybody that knew the couple could say with a hundred percent of their chest that he was crazily in love with her, the kind of love that was ridiculously sappy and made others a little sick to witness right in front of them all of the time .
They were simply the best of friends and whilst most of the time they didn't have a single problem between them, the trust between the two of them was unwavering .
Expect on one tiny , little thing.
Daniel could not trust his girlfriend not to hurt herself or break something accidentally. She was a walking accident on clumsy legs and considering the fact that she drove a f1 car for a living , it was more than slightly concerning for him to witness her outdoing herself on a daily basis.
Because if being a clumsy idiot was a sport, she would already be a world champion. Year in and year out .
At first he had honestly thought that it was just because she was tired and not looking where she was going the first time that he had watched her fall down a flight full of stairs while walking up them, still unable to believe just how she had managed to fall down the stairs while walking up them... he had been worried then.
Who wouldn’t after witnessing their girlfriend nearly break their neck like that right in front of them?
And then he had been absolutely Gobsmacked when she had just casually gotten back up to her feet, not a single pause in their conversation as though she hasn't just nearly broken her neck down a flight of stairs.
Daniel had been a nervous wreck , trying to fuss over her worriedly only to get shooed away with a rolling of her eyes as she told him that it wasn't a big deal.
He hadn’t wanted to argue with her at the time , still so fresh in their relationship and not wanting to Piss his already very temperamental girlfriend off. He had just wrote the whole incident off as a one off .
But then she kept doing it. Over and over again.
She Kept falling over things that seemed impossible to fall over. Kept walking into door frames and dropping plates onto the floor all the time.
Daniel realised that it wasn't just a one off, the love of his life was honestly just a clumsy idiot.
A clumsy idiot who refused to admit that she was one and instead would casually just step over the broken plate and tell him that she just didn't want that food anways . Too embarrassed to look anyone in the eyes after each accident that happened .
And if he tried to call her out on it or fuss over her in worry when she hurt herself , she would get snappy and storm off on him. Because she couldn't handle the embarrassment off being fussed over like a child , instead liking to pretend that nothing had ever happened in the first place .
So over the years Daniel had learned to just silently go along with it because he loved her and she was his best friend . Even if she was going to give him grey hair before it was even acceptable.
The clumsily little idiot was the love of his life and if embarrassing himself to make her feel less embarrassed about her own embarrassing moments , then he would humiliate himself all day long because as long as she was happy , he did not give a single fuck.
Like now , as they walked up the stairs to where the conference room was, he was a step behind her while keeping a casual conversation up with max as she jogged up the stairs while humming a Taylor swift to herself happily.
Keeping his body lined with the back of hers so that if she did happen to fall back down the stairs like she did last time, she would crash into his chest instead of onto the hard floor. Having learnt from his past mistakes of letting her anywhere out of his sight and reach while on the stairs.
He didn't even flinch anymore as she tripped up the last step, still not stopping humming her song as she just casually jumped onto the landing as though she had totally meant to do that.
Daniel shaking his head at her and raising his eyebrow in silent amusement at max who was grinning beside him, trying not to laugh .
Daniel bit down on his own grin when Cherrie turned to look at them over her shoulder , raising her eyebrow challengingly as though daring him to say a word about her tripping again.
He chewed on his inner cheek and tried so hard not to laugh at her cute little, bratty face .
“Alright?" Was all he said to his girlfriend , holding the door open for her.
She just pulled a face and huffed at him, avoiding their amused eyes "why wouldn't I be?" She muttered with an attitude before hurrying past them into the conference room before he could even answer her.
He snorted in amusement , glancing over at max with a grin.
"She's such a brat when she's embarrassed. Last night she fell into a bush in our driveway and then shouted at me for not trimming them!" He snickered to him, recalling the way she had gone bright red and ran into the house before he could even remind her that they were fake bushes that he couldn't even trim.
Cherrie was boredly fiddling with her microphone as she listened to Charles give a explanation on how he was feeling about his chances at championship this year , barely listening to anyone as she grew restless with just sitting there doing nothing.
She tapped her nails against the sponge of the large microphone in her hand , pulling at it curiously as she tipped it this way and that. Oblivious to the way her boyfriend was side eyeing in amusement as he watched her mess about with the microphone like a little , bored child .
Already expecting what was about to happen, he covered his smile with his hand as he watched her pull at the top of the microphone boredly, only for her eyes to widen when the large sponge part suddenly fell off onto the table leaving her with just the bottom half of it instead.
She froze and looked down at it in shock, watching the other half of the microphone bounce off the table and onto the floor in front of the press noisily , everyone looking over at her , questions abruptly paused.
The interviewer looked between Cherrie and the broken microphone with a startled blink of his eyes "what-?"
Before anything could be said that could embarrass her anymore , Daniel laughed and got the attention on him instead and said loudly "good throw but not quite far enough baby!" Nudging his wide eyed girlfriend as he then picked up his own microphone.
The rest of the drivers and the press watching in disbelief as he broke off the top half of the microphone like Cherrie had and suddenly flung it across the room , grinning casually at everyone like it was no big deal .
"What the hell?" Charles laughed in pure confusion , looking between the two of them with wide eyes.
Daniel just shrugged and flung his arm around Cherrie who was sinking lower in her seat , face straight as she pretended that nothing had even happened . Refusing to admit that she had broken the microphone (again) on accident because she was bored.
Luckily for her, Daniel had her back like always.
"It's a game we have. To see who can throw the furthest. She's not winning obviously." He lied to them with a straight face just like his girlfriend , he had learned from the best after all (Cherrie had the best poker face he had ever witnessed in his entire life) nodding at everyone in the room like what he said had made total sense.
Sebastian blinked over at him "a game - to break microphones and throw them at press?" He knowingly smirked at them.
Already Used to seeing Daniel go out of his way to copy whatever his clumsily girlfriend did so she didn't feel bad or get embarrassed in front of others .
Though he would never admit it and Cherrie would never verbally thank him for it, far too cool for that.
(Plus thanking him would mean admitting that she had a problem in the first place .. which she did not, thank you very much!) But the small squeeze she gave to his leg spoke volumes to him.
Daniel just grinned at them "yeah. A brilliant game. Cherrie wanted to throw our glasses at them last time but I told her that would get us a lawsuit. So.." he joked , snickering .
They all laughed and then just like that the moment was moved on , although from that moment on the both of them weren't given microphones at a conference ever again.
Told to just speak loudly instead.
Cherrie was bouncing up the podium with a grin on her face as she laughed hysterically as she was soaked in champagne by both Daniel and lando , having won the race this time around .
She couldn't see from the alcohol blasted in her eyes, taking a step back as she tried to wipe her stinging eyes with her sleeve .
Only she greatly misjudged the step and went flying.
Gasps were heard all around as she fell hard onto the champagne covered floor , freezing for a moment as she felt pure embarrassment flood into her.
Grimacing to herself as she glanced up to see her boyfriend fling his champagne bottle aside quickly , their eyes meeting for a moment before he just rolled his eyes at her fondly .
Then not even a second later be made a show of pretending to slip in the champagne too, flailing his arms out like a crazy person and flinging himself down onto the podium floor beside her with a loud laugh.
While lando just stared at the both of them with wide eyes , giggling hysterically at the sight of the champagne covered couple tangled up on the floor in front of everyone.
"Whoopsie daisy!" Daniel exclaimed with a smirk as he kicked out his foot and knocked lando's legs out from underneath him , sending the driver flying onto the floor with them.
Then he casually turned his head and kissed cherries rosy cheeks , amusement filling him when she cleared her throat and avoided his eyes like usual, accepting his hand to pull her up again but quickly letting go.
He just ruffled her hair and laughed affectionately at her "love you, you clumsy idiot." Was all he muttered to her with a smirk. The crowd no longer gasping at her but laughing at his antics Instead.
Cherrie hid her smile and just squeezed his waist silently , grateful for having a boyfriend that wasn't afraid to embarrass himself with her. Even if she wouldn't admit it.
"That was landos fault." She lied unable to admit that she hadn't seen the edge of the raised podium, too busy laughing at her boyfriend pulling silly faces at her .
Daniel just snorted while lando looked at her in disbelief , having been no where near her when she fell.
"All lando's fault!" Daniel agreed loudly, giving the driver a shove so that he fell again , grinning at the cameras slyly while everybody laughed at them.
Then there was that time that Cherrie had convinced him to let her take out his new Ferrari for a drive, bitting on his nails in worry but unable to deny her cute little face when she pleaded for him to let her drive it.
So He could only look on in pure disbelief as his Ferrari rolled back into the driveway slowly , a sheepish looking Cherrie getting out of the car as she cleared her throat nervously .
"I- some idiot reversed into me in the parking lot!" She blurted out , lying through her teeth. Once again unable to admit what she had done. This not being the first time that she had managed to fuck up one of their cars.
Daniel glanced between the dent that was now in the front of his Ferrari and then over to the mailbox at the end of their driveway , the mailbox that was now bent at an odd angle.
The same mailbox that had been completely straight when she had left.
He exhaled loudly , hands cupped over his gaping mouth as he reminded himself that she was the love of his life. That it wasn't her fault that she was so fucking clumsily.
That if he shouted at her angrily she would just kick him in the nuts and give him the silent treatment for a month . Because she was petty like that.
He almost whimpered in pain at the state of his brand new Ferrari , knowing that he should have never have let her drive off in it without him there to watch her every move in the first place .
What was he thinking?! How had he forgotten just what a clumsy idiot she was?!
"It's-who-did the same idiot-" he gritted his teeth slightly as he gave her a annoyed glare "also drive into our mailbox?" Nodding over to it pointedly .
Cherrie paused , glancing back at the bent mailbox and sniffling. Slowly nodding her head as she glanced cautiously at him, not knowing what to say.
The truth wasn't it , so instead she pursed her lips at him "yes. But I don't think it was their fault. Taylor swift was on the radio and..." she shrugged helplessly , still avoiding his eyes.
Daniel looked at her in disbelief. Hands on his hips and looking back and forth between the car and his lying girlfriend silently.
Then he noticed the guilty swallow she gave , nervously fidgeting with her fingers and he felt the anger fade away. Just like that.
Sighing loudly he nodded his head okay "right.. so this idiot just happened to be jamming along to Taylor swift and took out our letterbox then?" He summed up for her, giving her a knowing look as he pulled out his phone ready to call the garage to fix the mess that she had made out of his beautiful, new car.
Cherrie hugged her arms around herself, giving her exasperated boyfriend a sheepish smile.
"Yeah.." she mumbled quietly.
Daniel walked over to her and rested his elbow ontop of her head as he assessed the damage even closer, shaking his head at her.
"Which song was it?" Was all he could think to ask her.
Knowing how much she loved to have her own little concert when she was his passenger princess .
He just wasn't aware that his clumsy girlfriend was also putting on a show while driving too. That was far too dangerous for her to do!
Cherrie glanced up at him, sighing in relief when she realised that he wasn't mad. Just.. a little fed up with her bullshit but not at all surprised.
"Er- it was karma.." she muttered well aware of the irony of crashing into their letterbox because she was too busy banging her head along to karma by Taylor swift .
Daniel titled his head and smirked a little, letting out a amused laugh as he pushed her head away from him with a joking huff.
"Bloody typical! I hope you know that you owe me nonestop sex everyday for this!" He told her honestly , not letting her completely get away with this one .
Cherrie just nodded her head in understanding "I know. I'll be- I'll go wait in the bedroom while you call the mechanic.." she said more to herself than him, already planning on wearing her fanciest lingerie to make him feel better about her crashing his car (again).
Daniel watched her run into their house with a amused snort . Putting his phone to his ear with a loud sigh.
"It's a good job that I love her.." he muttered to himself in amusement before focusing on the call.
Unfortunately it wasn't only Daniel's Ferrari that she managed to damage with her clumsiness , it was Charles's too.
They were having a small party at their house and everybody else was inside drinking and carrying on, loud laughter echoing outside as Daniel quickly stepped out to their driveway to check in on his girlfriend who had went out for some fresh air.
Not wanting to be away from her for too long , he let out a laugh as he spotted her dancing around in her heels on the gravel, head tilted to the sky as she hummed along to the music that could be heard from inside their house.
"There you are! Are you having fun baby?" He called over to her with a grin .
Quickly hurrying over to her as he warily eyed her thin heels, knowing how much she could barely walk a straight line in trainers, never mind with pointy weapons on her feet.
Cherrie just smiled at him and giggled tipsily , reaching out her hand for him to grab. 
Knowing what she wanted him to do, he twirled her underneath his arm, laughing at the girly shriek that escaped her lips as she spun around in her heels.
He then went to do it again, expecting her to keep ahold of his hand as he twirled her.
But she didn't , because of course she didn't!
He could only watch with wide eyes and gasp loudly as she let go of his hand mid spin, sending herself flying down onto the front of Charles's Ferrari with a bang.
They both froze together, Daniel looking down at his wide eyed girlfriend in shock.
"Oh no." She mumbled worriedly as she pulled herself up from the front of the Ferrari , both of them gasping again as they looked down at the dent that she had made with her elbow slamming into it .
"Daniel! That was your fault!" She exclaimed , immediately pointing blame.
Daniel gaped at her , blinking rapidly. "Me?! You're the one that let go of my hand you clumsy idiot! What is wrong with you-?" He genuinely couldn't believe it.
Looking at her with a mixture of pure amusement and honest concern. "Were you- were you dropped on your head as a baby? Where is your brain? Why is it so.." he knocked on her head three times "empty?!"
Cherrie slapped his hands away with a whine "Daniel! Stop messing about! Charles is going to kill me!" She worried, too drunk to be dealing with this.
Daniel looked at the dent in the Ferrari for a long moment before getting an idea , clicking his fingers at her as he grinned widely .
"I know! One minute! Wait there!" He rushed out before running off back into their house, running straight to the bathroom and grabbing what he needed.
Only to smile at their friends as he walked past them in all in his front room, the drivers looking down at the bright red plunger in his hand with a mixture of amusement and curiosity.
Daniel just shrugged "had a massive shit so.." he casually told them waving the plunger in front of him with a grin .
"Need this big boy! So Don't mind me!" He gave them all a head nod before running back out of the room and straight back outside to rejoin his little idiot .
Cherrie was leaning against the Ferrari with worry written across her face, only to look at her boyfriend in confusion when he proudly  showed her the toilet plunger in his hand.
"What?"
Daniel laughed "I'm a genius baby! I’ve seen someone do this on tiktok once.." he told her before proceeding to slam the plunger down onto the dent that she had made, ignoring her surprised gasp and worried muttering at him to stop .
Instead he pulled on the plunger with force and watched with a smug smirk as the dent popped back up easily , glancing over at his now stunned girlfriend triumphantly.
"See? He'll never know now! It's as good as new!" He exclaimed happily , placing his arm around her shoulders as they both admired the now dent free Ferrari.
Only to freeze when they heard a familiar voice echo out behind them.
"Why are you two stood in front of my car with a plunger?" Charles questioned them in worry, looking between the two of them warily. Well aware of the trouble that they always got themselves into.
Cherrie stammered for a answer "well.." she couldn't find a reasonable explanation that didn't give herself away. Never being the best liar .
Luckily for her, Daniel was a pro at lying on her behalf and simply Beamed at Charles innocently .
"Oh nothing mate! Just admiring your car! Very nice.. very ... smooth!" He exclaimed while grinning.
Charles frowned "with a plunger?-" he looked at the plunger in his hand in confusion.
Daniel just laughed and waved his hand carelessly in front of him . "Yeah! Was just measuring the wheel.. to see if it was as big as this plunger!" He told him with a straight face , tapping the wheel with said plunger gently .
He looked at Charles seriously "I can confirm that it is not the same size so.." bedore shrugging and squeezing a speechless Cherrie to his side.
Quickly pulling the both of them away from the Ferrari , nodding his head a bewildered Charles casually .
"Anyways- if you'll excuse us-" he started dragging his clumsy girlfriend back along with him to the door, wanting to get her as  far out of reach from the other expensive cars as possible. Before she did something to one of them that a toilet plunger couldn't fix.
Then there was that time that a speechless Cherrie walked into their bedroom with wide eyes, looking at him with a pout , upset with herself.
Daniel just glanced at her hair and blinked, slowly sitting up in their bed as he looked at her now red hair silently .
It was brown an hour ago.
But she had told him that she was just going to refresh it , that he needed to leave her be while she did it herself . Denying his help.
But now she was stood in front of him with tears in her eyes and a face full of regret as she pointed at her Ferrari red hair.
"I'm a redbull driver dan.." was all she could breathe out , clutching her face in upset. Cheeks about to turn as red as her hair was now.
Daniel snorted loudly . He couldn't help it .
Chuckling a little as he stood up from the bed and approached her slowly like she was a wild animal about to attack.
He tried to smile softly . But he just couldn't stop laughing . Even as she started to glare at him, getting pissed off by his reaction.
"I can't have red hair! This is not going to help the Ferrari transfer rumours at all!" She groaned in misery , eyeing herself in the mirror with a scowl.
Daniel carefully ran his fingers through her hair , raising his brow at her in amusement .
"How the hell did this happen?" He wondered , honestly impressed by how she managed to fuck up something that seemed unfuckable . How hard was it to read a colour on a box?
She grumbled at him "I was trying to dye it a reddish brown but apparently it was just red.. bright red.. I didn't know!" She whined, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head into his chest with shame.
Daniel just laughed even harder, patting her back and awwing at his flustered girlfriend. Unable to help himself.
She was so cute sometimes. His love for her just got stronger with each idiotic thing she managed to do to herself .
"Aww baby! It's going to be okay! It looks great! It'll fade soon anyways won't it?" He reminded her of the fact that the dye was only semi permanent.
She just huffed "we have a press tomorrow Daniel! I'm going to be so embarrassed!" She snapped upset, before moving away from him and throwing herself down onto the bed face first in misery.
Leaving Daniel to press his hands to his hips as he watched the love of his life worry over her now red hair .
Then he got a an idea.
Cherrie could only gape at him in disbelief when an hour later , her boyfriend casually wandered out of their bathroom with bright red hair to match her own.
Giving her a cheesy smile as he ran his fingers through his new hair proudly , tilting his head from side to side to show it off.
"We match now! I quite like this look! I look hot!" He exclaimed as he posed in front of the mirror smugly , seeing Cherrie still gazing at him from
The bed with wide eyes, mouth dropped open in shock.
Then she felt her heart melt as she crawled over to him , wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing her face to his side as she looked at the both of their reflections, with matching bright red hair and lovesick grins.
She felt any embarrassment she felt fade away.
Face softening as she gently kissed his arm in a silent thank you .
And when they both walked hand in hand to the press room the next day. Cherrie didn't even flinch when their friends and fellow drivers burst out laughing at the sight of him.
Completely unbothered just because Daniel was as he made the photographer take a hundred pictures of the two of them, joking that the rumours were wrong , that they were both going to Ferrari, not just Cherrie.
"Gotta go red before we go dead! All that jazz! We're no longer blue and Cherrie .. I love you! You knows it's true! Bye bye blue! I see you!" He started singing out randomly , serenading her dramatically just to make her laugh and forget that this entire fuck up had been her fault in the first place.
Because If there was one thing that you could guarantee, was that Daniel would never , ever let the love of his life be embarrassing on her own.
He would always join her and make sure that she didn't feel bad for being such a clumsy idiot.
Because he loved her and he would do anything to make her happy.
If she was going to walk around looking like the top of a hot pepper , then you could bet on it that he would be too!
So it was with those memories and facts in mind that made Daniel not even find himself surprised when he was down on one knee at their favourite beach , watching Cherrie get up from where she had been tying the lace of her shoe in front of him.
He was knelt behind her readily with the ring box in his hand , about to propose to her.
When he could only watch silently , completely unsurprised as she turned back around,
Took one look at him on his knee in front of her and then promptly twisted her ankle and stumbled over a rock behind her , falling flat onto her ass in the sand in front of him with a loud , startled Yelp .
Laid out in the sand in shock as she looked up at him from the ground , Daniel just raising his brow at her in amusement and nodding casually to the ring box in his hand.
"Wanna marry me so that I can have your clumsy ass for life?" He casually asked her , not even flinching when she tried to get back up only to trip over her own feet again.
Falling in front of him with a loud huff , fading red hair falling over her face as she looked over at him with a teary smile.
Sniffling loudly and shouting a excited "hell yes! Oh my god!" Already bawling her eyes out in happiness.
Daniel just grinned and quickly shuffled closer to her, pulling her into his arms before she could even attempt at getting up to her feet again. Not wanting her to break an ankle this time.
He rocked them from side to side, his own eyes teary as he slid the diamond ring onto her shaky finger , pulling away to give her a kiss, both of them grinning into it. Uncontrollably happy.
"Just so you know .. I got this ring insured in case you lose it.." he told her with a knowing smirk , making her giggle bashfully into his chest as she admired the sparkling ring on her finger in amazement.
"I've also got some back up rings back home in the safe. So we're covered on all grounds." He told her insanely proud of himself for thinking ahead, because he knew what she was like.
He gave it a month before she was panicking and crying to him about losing her ring while doing something stupid .
She was a clumsy idiot but by being one he had gotten her to accidentally fall in love with him too so...
It wasn't all that bad.
He just had to have hope that she would at least get down the isle in one piece , remembering  the way that she had fallen on the red carpet at a gala once because she had been too busy looking at the sky boredly.
It if anything happened(it would) Daniel was ready.
If she fell? He would throw himself onto the isle right beside her.
If she ripped her dress? He would rip his tux, no hesitation!
If she fucked up her hair again? He would fuck his hair up as well!
Because he had her back. Always.
That's what happened when you were madly in love with an idiot who would push at a pull to open door and fall while going up the stairs.
But he wouldn't change her for anything. She gave him a lifetime of personal amusement , and he couldn't wait to laugh at her next accident too!
Well, If they managed to get home safe first!
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theje0ngs · 2 years
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JJH | Forget Me Not
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“Have you completely forgotten about me?”
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PAIRING/CHARACTERS • bodyguard!jaehyun x rich-girl!reader ft. brother!doyoung, brother!gongmyung, kun & johnny appears
GENRE • angst, romance(?), smut, forbidden love!au, secret love!au
WORD COUNT • 15.7k
WARNINGS • 18+ themes, profanities, brief description of the accident, scenes in the hospital, inaccurate representation of hospital procedures (cuz im no med student bro), issues relating to family, betrayal, mentions murder/assassination, protected sex, fingering, handjob/blowjob, slow sex
GELA SAYS • the LONGEST fic i’ve ever written oh my god ?? my original wc goal is probably 5k but i ended up with THAT number lmao ,, btw ! timestamps are important in this story so this is a heads up because you might get confused hehe and this would probably the last fic i’ll be posting for now, as i’m taking a break from writing again. sorry if this took so long lol this isn’t proofread so i apologize for the mistakes and the rushed ending, i badly wanted to end it right away lol
TAGLIST  • @aizzon @queenrachelpink @straykidsftnct @nctevia @dreamycomets @ahgastayzen @rbf-aceu @lookingforangst @yoonohing​
HAPPY READING!
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“You ready?” Your father asked, receiving a nod from you and a long sigh as you readied yourself to face a large crowd. “Go get ‘em.”
You gave your father a smile, carefully taking steps on the stairs as the emcee introduced you to the crowd. After years of hard work and training for your father, you have finally secured yourself a spot in one of his many companies. Tonight is one of the most important nights of your life as they introduce you as the new CEO of a media company under Haneul Group of Companies. The one that started inside your father’s old room in a university somewhere in Korea has been vastly growing as the years pass by. Your father, Kim Hyong Chul, stood proud as he watched his only daughter walk up the stage and take the podium.
“A pleasant evening to each and every one in this event. I am very thrilled to be here tonight and excited about the things I will be working on in the following years. Tonight, I introduce myself as the new and the youngest CEO of Haneul’s media company to date.” You started; the crowd gave you a round of applause before letting you proceed. “I returned to the country approximately three years ago. A 23-year-old woman who, at the time, opposed the idea of working under her father’s company. I wanted to be different, I wanted people to think of me as someone who started from the bottom, slowly but surely making her way to the top. Which I did succeed in doing, all thanks to my father for agreeing to my idea. Now I stand in front of you, as a 27-year-old woman, no longer a trainee, an employee, but a CEO.”
As you deliver your speech, outside of the venue, stood your boyfriend. He could only hear your muffled voice from the other side of the door. Your voice alone puts a smile on his face, and it was a good thing that he was standing far enough from his colleagues, if not, he would be too obvious. He had a glimpse of you when someone exited the event hall. You looked so gorgeous and stunning wearing that expensive dress that costs a month of his salary. Gorgeous as ever. He thought.
Despite being satisfied with his current relationship with you, there were days that Jaehyun wished he could take you out on a nice date. Hold your hand in public, kiss you whenever he wants to or do typical sweet things that most couples do. But he can’t. He can, but it would be too risky and would cause a huge scandal.
Because he was your bodyguard, and you were his boss.
As the banquet came to an end, your parents were the first ones to exit while you and your brothers stayed for an interview with the business magazines and newspapers. As the press crowded the three of you and flooded you with questions, Jaehyun’s crew tried their best to stop them from causing a stampede, creating a human barrier. When your eyes met his, you smiled at him slightly. This was the closest he got from you tonight, and he fell in love once again.
“Miss Y/N, in your last interview with us three years ago, you’ve mentioned that you have no time for love because you were too occupied with training. Perhaps your perspective has changed now that you are the CEO; do you have any plans of getting into a relationship?” asked one of the presses, causing you to chuckle.
“You guys really love to gossip about my personal life, especially my love life.” You said, tucking your hair and quickly gazed at Jaehyun. “The answer is still the same. Now that I am the CEO, I have to work much harder, and I don’t think I would ever have the time for love.”
Ouch. That actually hurt, but there was nothing that Jaehyun could do. Even though you’ve been hiding your relationship for years now, and he knew your answers are lies to protect the two of you, he couldn’t help but feel a light pang on his chest every time someone asks you about your relationship status.
Once the interview with the press is over, you and your brothers were escorted back to the secured parking space. Doyoung was on his way to the airport for a personal business in Germany, while Gongmyung was on his way back home. You bid farewell to your brothers, planting kisses on their cheeks and entered the car with your bodyguard, aka – your boyfriend.
After a long day of standing in high heels and a long gown, finally, you got to sit next to Jaehyun in your car. The moment you got inside the car; you planted a kiss on his lips before hopping onto the front seat.
“Missed you.” You murmured.
You could feel him smile during the kiss and plant once more, “I’m sorry I couldn’t hear or see you deliver your speech. I’m sure you did great, like you always do.”
Jaehyun started the engine of the car, following your brother’s vehicle before separating on the main road. There was something about driving along the city that was lit up with bright lights and holding Jaehyun’s hand that calms you down instantly. The quiet road and the soft music coming out of the car’s speaker– everything felt right at this moment. You never wanted it to end.
“You do realize that once we reach the village, you’ll have to hop back to the backseat again, right?” He chuckles, taking your hand as he stops at a red light. “We’re a few minutes away from the village, just let me savor this moment.”
“I know… it just sucks that we have to do this every time. I just wish we could do normal things like a couple; I just wish I could go home without having to hop in front and to the back.”
“Don’t worry, any day now. I’ll face your father and come clean about our relationship. Like we always planned.” He said, “Besides, my days as your driver/bodyguard are about to end as your new driver will be arriving any day now and I’m about to pass my resignation letter.”
“That sucks, but I’m looking forward to what our next chapter’s going to be. By the way, if I’m getting a new driver any day now, how am I supposed to receive my kisses?”
“Like we always did before, sneaking.”
You laughed at his response, adjusting your seat as you focused on your boyfriend driving. How did I get so lucky to have you, Jeong Jaehyun? You thought. This man has been with you for three years, three long years. What started off like Tom and Jerry, always arguing, ending with you two being in love. This man has been with you through your ups and downs despite not being able to express your love for each other loudly and freely. This man is the person you want to spend your whole life with, and soon, once you’re both ready to face your parents, you will find a way to tell them and ask for their blessing.
“I love you so much,” Jaehyun said, stopping at a red light once again as he squeezed your hand to reassure you. He knows what’s going on inside your head, by the looks of it, he knew you were thinking about your relationship. “I hope you’ll always remember that.”
“I won’t ever forget how much you love me, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that.” You replied, “I love you too, Jeong Jaehyun.”
He lifts your hands together and plants a kiss on the back before he steps on the accelerator. No matter how calm downtown is at midnight, you didn’t expect what happened next. Jaehyun’s eyes widened when he saw a car emerging from his left side, probably going over a hundred with beaming lights. Quickly, he stepped on the brakes. Jaehyun’s hand did not let go of yours, and because it was all happening so fast, he could only close his eyes and prepare himself for the worst. The next thing you know, you were feeling your skin rip from the broken windows and another pain from the exploded airbags that hit your body.
“J-Jae,” You weakly called, trying to move your hand in his. “Babe, are you okay?”
“I love you, Y/N…” You heard him say. You tried moving the deflating airbags away from you but failed as you feel an intense pain take over your body.
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FOUR YEARS AGO.
They say that you fall in love with three people in your lifetime.
You could still remember the boy you fell in love with when you were young. Your younger self sees him as someone you know you will spend your whole life with. You met your puppy love when you were ten and his name was Qian Kun – your brother’s classmate, friend, and a son of your father’s business partner. He was a year older than you and always made sure to protect you like your brothers. By the time you were fifteen, you confessed your attraction towards him. You confessed that you appreciate the things he did for you, they were the bare minimum, but hell, you appreciate it more than anyone else in the world. At first it was a secret that you tried so hard to hide, but the banquets that his and your family held every other month was Doyoung and Gongmyung’s clue to their quest of investigating your relationship with Kun. Although it was weird for your brother that you were dating his closest friend, Doyoung made sure that you were safe with Kun and that his intentions were pure and genuine and no plans of hurting you.
Dating Kun when you were young felt like you were a Disney princess, and he was your prince charming. He would treat you oh so dearly. Fights and arguments rarely occurred in the span of your relationship. During the banquets and gatherings you’ve attended, most of the people who knew your relationship were certain that the two of you will eventually get married someday.
But soon enough, you realized, life is no fairytale like how they described it in movies.
“Hey, any news about the college applications?” You asked, taking a seat on the sofa next to his study table as you munch on a bowl of popcorn.
“Actually, I have something to tell you…”
“Okay…? You’re making me nervous, what is it?”
You remembered Kun holding your hand that night as he explained why he had to move out of the country for a few years and come back once he’s settled in his father’s business. You remembered staring in his eyes, hoping to find an answer to stop him from leaving you. You remembered suggesting that the two of you should try long distance, but his response was: “You deserve better, more than seeing me on screen.”
By the time Kun left for China, you knew it was the end of your relationship. Kun was your first love, your first heartbreak, your first in everything. And even though you are broken up now, no one can break the bond you’ve established when you were young. Kun was still there for you, just like how you were still there for him. The two of you still have each other’s backs, not as someone who has romantic feelings, but as someone who once loved each other and wants what’s best for each other.
You never dated anyone after Kun, you prioritized the important things in life such as university. That leads you to the second person you fell in love with, the person who completely turned your world upside down. His existence in your life was unexpected, someone, including him, could not believe that he exists in your life. Your relationship brought the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. And you met him when you were twenty-three.
At a young age, you returned home in the spring. Flowers were blooming and everything was bright and lovely. A lot has happened since another year was added to your life. Completed a degree with Media Arts, traveled the world alone, met new friends and now you’re returning home after your quick break to celebrate your graduation and the new beginnings. You knew what will greet you once you get home, after all, you were the one who planned and pitched the idea to your father. At the age of 23, you knew that returning back to your family would bring you such a huge change in life.
As your plane arrived from Italy, and you had exited the arrivals area, you saw your brothers holding a signboard with your name on it. It’s been a while since they last saw you when they visited you in Europe to attend your graduation. The two were bickering as the other tells to hold the signage higher, while the other insists that it is already visible from afar. The moment you met them, Gongmyung and Doyoung welcomed you back with open arms. Surrounded by four bodyguards, three of which you were familiar with, you exited the premises of the airport and headed off to the hotel where your relatives are waiting for your arrival. The three bodyguards you knew since you were in high school, but the other one was new, it seems.
His name was Jeong Jaehyun as introduced by the chief, your new personal bodyguard.
When you were young, you did not understand the concept of needing one when you are doing fine alone. Until you learned that coming from a very influential family, your grandfather connected with politics and your father building his own business empire, you had learned that not everyone around you has pure intentions. And as your own grandmother would say: “Trust no one – be it your friends, your lover, your security, maybe even family” after your grandfather was assassinated while playing golf with other politicians.
You found Jaehyun annoying in his first week working for you. Every step, every move, he was there to watch. Dedicated to his work of guarding you as if you were Mona Lisa and someone’s attempting to abduct you. It felt like someone was babysitting you. Sometimes you’d wish you didn’t come from a family like this at all, you were exposed to the dirty politics and business world. There was a random day in your life that you confessed this matter to your grandmother but ended up receiving a long lecture of how ungrateful you sounded.
“Jaemin, would it be okay to stop by a friend’s house for a few minutes before heading off to the headquarters?”
“Uh, I suppose that it is okay–”
“I’m afraid not, ma’am.” Jaehyun cut off the driver next to him, “Your father is expecting your arrival by 13:00.”
You rolled your eyes and sighed, “Don’t you think I’m not aware of my own schedule? I will be quick; I just have to drop these off at her house.”
“No ma’am.”
“Jaemin, don’t listen to him. Head to Seongbuk-dong, please.”
“That’s out of our way, ma’am.” Jaehyun, once again interrupts.
What felt like the nth time today, you rolled your eyes. “It’ll be quick. I don’t even have to enter her house because I’m only giving her this stupid box– now, Jaemin, listen to me and don’t listen to this jerk.”
Jaemin had no choice but to nod his head and turn right on the next street. After years of staying abroad with pure freedom and without a bodyguard nor a driver, you have forgotten what it’s like to have one again. Though you didn’t have any problems nor encountered one with your previous bodyguard, Jaehyun was different from them and makes you want to rip your hair off out of frustration every time you bicker. You grab your phone out of your bag and informed your brothers that you will be running late for a few minutes to the meeting. You knew your father too well; he wouldn’t get mad if you came in late. Or if he does, it wouldn’t be too long – he cannot stay mad at his unica hija for so long.
By the time you have arrived in front of your friend, Eunha’s house, Jaehyun opened the door for you. Reminding you to be quick as you were in a rush and only have a few minutes before the meeting with your father starts. Your childhood best friend was glad to have you back home after you apologized for taking a few weeks to visit her. As you and Eunha exchange stories, Jaehyun was tapping his feet and kept on checking his wristwatch. Eunha noticed the behavior of your bodyguard and shook her head.
“Your bodyguard has a bit of an attitude, Y/N.” She said, causing you to sigh heavily.
“Yeah, it’s only been a few weeks since he started working for me and he’s getting on my nerves already.” You replied, “I have to go now, Eunha. Father’s waiting for me, let’s catch up again soon with the others.”
You bid her goodbye and walked back to the car with your arms crossed, Jaehyun already had the door open and was waiting for you to hop on, but you refused. “Have you ever had someone tell you that you’re a bit rude?”
“Ma’am, please enter the car.”
“I won’t until you answer me.”
“Yes, I have been told that I am rude several times. Please enter the car, the chief is already looking for us.”
By the time you have arrived at the headquarters, you were just in time. Your father wasn’t even inside the conference room yet. You sat next to your eldest brother, sighing as you scroll through your phone.
“Why the long face?” Gongmyung asked, pushing a glass of juice in front of you. “Something happened?”
“I hate my bodyguard.” You groaned, “He’s rude and somewhat obnoxious. I want to change bodyguards.”
“Y/N, he’s not rude. He acts like that because he used to be part of the president’s security service, he was my bodyguard before you came home. Trust me, he’s a really nice guy to talk to. He just seems rude, but that’s just him doing his job.” Your brother explains nicely, no matter how angry you are, Gongmyung was always there to calm you down in situations like this. “Give it a few more weeks, then if it’s like that ‘till then, I’ll tell father and we’ll switch bodyguards.”
“Fine.”
As the months passed by and your workload for your father’s company arose, the more you found yourself getting annoyed and often short-tempered when it comes to Jaehyun and his attitude. It was petty actually, sometimes you even think that it’s childish that you were acting like that. All because of the stress you’re receiving at work. You and Jaehyun were like Tom and Jerry – always fighting and bickering at each other. You even think that maybe your driver, Jaemin, is annoyed by the fact that the two of you are always on each other’s nerves every morning and every night. Gongmyung’s promise of how he was willing to exchange bodyguards with you was not kept after your father rejected the proposed idea.
By this time, the green leaves of trees have turned to hues of red and orange, with a little mixture of yellow. Your favorite season has come – Autumn. There was something about autumn that you’ve loved since you were a kid. The unique color of leaves, the mellow feeling every time you step outside, something about autumn brings nostalgic memories from the past.
Along with the changes of leaves, comes the changes you’re experiencing at work. You love your father, you really do, but ever since you were a child, he was always pressuring you into something you don’t want or want to take slowly. Like the time you were having a hard time memorizing the multiplication table; you were up all night with him as he tried to help you memorize it in one sitting. You didn’t know the reason why he always did that, you never found out even if you ask your mom or his mom. You assumed that it is because he was also pressured by his own father as well – a classic story in the Kim family.
Your grandfather was a known politician, known for his service and excellence in the government. Your father was supposed to follow the footsteps of his father: study hard, be a politician and serve the people of the country. Except he didn’t. Because he thought it wasn’t what he wanted, he knew he wouldn’t be happy with that field of career, knowing how dirty and dangerous politics can be.
But now that you’re feeling tired and pressured with work, you want to rest. Even just for a while, even just for a day. Just a day where you could spend it in peace without having to hear your father complain about how poorly or how messy your reports were or hear him say ‘you’re training to become a CEO and not a regular employee. Get your shit together.’
Autumn can be gloomy, just like how you woke up today. It was 6 o’ clock and you had no work schedules today. It was unusual for you to wake up this early on a day off because usually you sleep in the night after a long day, trying to regain all the energy you’ve lost after working for five straight days. As gloomy as it can be, you stood up from your bed and thought of coming to the place you’ve loved the most. The place where the four seasons of Korea can be seen beautifully.
“You’re up early.” Your mom says, peeking her head on the door as you brush your hair. “I heard the music, isn’t it your day-off?”
“Yes, but I’m heading out.” You replied.
“Where are you off to? Maybe I can come and spend the day with you.”
“Maybe next time mom, I’d really like to be alone for a while. I just want to gather my thoughts and have a little ‘me’ time.”
Your mother nods her head, understanding and realizing how much you’ve grown. From the clingy 5-year-old girl who’s always calling her mother to the 23-year-old woman in need for an alone time. Once she exited your bedroom, you called Jaehyun and informed him that you were heading out today. No day-offs for bodyguards indeed.
“I will be driving today, Miss Y/N. Jaemin is on leave.” Jaehyun informed you, opening the door and waited for you to hop in before he did. “Where are you headed to?”
“Gapyeong.”
“Do you have any business in Gapyeong, ma’am?”
“I just- just please drive me there. No questions asked.”
After an hour or so of travel, you found yourself in the dock of Nami Island, waiting for the first ferry to arrive. Since you left Seoul early, the place was not that crowded yet. You could feel butterflies inside your stomach because it brings back so many memories of your youth. And because Jaehyun needed to be close to you all the time, you had no choice but to let him take a stroll with you on the island. He was puzzled as to why you were here, he assumed that you were meeting someone for business but now that he’s watching you just walk around and breathe in the autumn air, it made him think that you were here to calm yourself.
He may not know the feeling of how hard it is to live in a family like yours, but he could see how tiring it could be. And even though you’ve been labeled like Tom and Jerry, though his existence alone annoys the spirit in you, Jaehyun knows how hardworking you are. He admired the extreme effort you exert on your job.
Jaehyun was walking a few steps behind you. There were only a few people in the island as it was a weekday and it wasn’t peak hours yet, you and he were one of the few people walking on the Gingko Tree Lane. The scenic path filled with bright yellow leaves never fails to make you smile. You turned around and gestured to Jaehyun to come closer to you.
“Would you do me a favor?” You asked, and he nodded. “I know we’re always bickering, but let’s forget all of that today. Let’s drop formalities for a day. Today.”
“Ma’am, I-”
“Let’s pretend we’re friends or whatever. I just… I just really want to feel like a normal person again, like what I was when I was studying abroad. Someone who doesn’t have someone who follows her around or drives her around, watching her every move.”
It was a simple request, but it was something he wasn’t expecting. So simple yet so sad. Nevertheless, he had no choice. He nodded his head, removing the earpiece and turned it off, causing it to disconnect to the main service connection. Though it is kind of awkward walking around the island wearing a tuxedo, he brushed it off. After two years of working in a security group, this is the first time that he was asked by his boss to act like they’re friends. It was so unusual.
“Now that we’re ‘friends’, why don’t we get to know each other?”
Why is she acting like this? He thought, averting his attention to the yellow leaves instead and started walking with you.
“There’s nothing interesting in my life, ma’am- uh… Y/N.”
“I heard you were part of the presidential security service before you started working for us. That’s interesting enough, what’s that like?”
Jaehyun sighs, remembering the main reason of how he got into this line of work. “My father is a retired special forces colonel. After his retirement when I was 20, he became part of the presidential security service after he was recruited by an old colleague- which I also became part of a year ago, after I graduated. It’s a much harder job than this one because we had to keep an eye on everyone in the Blue House, the president, his family– everyone.”
As the two of you walk along the lane filled with yellow leaves, your conversation deepens. Who would’ve thought that the person you were always bickering to would be the person you’re opening up your problems to? From childhood to the days of your high school life, you and Jaehyun continued to talk. At some point, you were eating dosirak with him and laughing at old memories and sharing inside jokes to each other.
“Question, do you really come here whenever you have a hard time?” Jaehyun asked, shoving a spoonful of kimchi fried rice to his mouth.
“Mhm, because this is where my first love brought me.”
“You have a first love?!”
“Of course, dummy! He’s Doyoung’s friend actually and we dated for three years.” You chuckled, “Ah, damn it… he’s actually getting married in a few months and coming here just brought a lot of memories.”
“But you’re over him, right?”
“Of course, I am! It’s been years, we’re both moved on and we’re really good friends now.” You replied, “What about you? What’s your love life like?”
Jaehyun’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and immediately shakes his head, “I don’t have a girlfriend, but I did have one before that only lasted for a year. I never dated again after that.”
“Really? Why?”
You really wouldn’t deny it, Jaehyun is indeed handsome and with that kind of face, he could get any girls he wanted. You were just surprised to find out that he hasn’t dated anyone since his first and last breakup.
“Just… just life and its stuff. I just don’t think I’m built for relationships. I never even had my first kiss yet!”
“You– WHAT?! Are you serious?” Jaehyun nodded his head, “That’s impossible! A handsome guy like you does not have their first kiss yet?”
He was taken aback by your words and his ears have turned right red. You giggled, “That’s actually cute, Jaehyun.”
“Is it? I actually find it a bit weird that I haven’t had one at this age.” He confessed, scratching his neck, “What about you? Ever had your first kiss?”
“Well, yeah. Kun and I were together for three years and we were each other’s first kiss.”
“That’s nice…”
“You grew up in a military family, correct?” You asked, he nodded. “And you know the military secrecy.”
After eating brunch, the two of you continued to walk around the small island again. Going through the famous spots and talking about your personal lives. It was your little talk with Jaehyun that you found out that it was only him and his older sister, who conquered the world together after their mother died, and his father abandoned his responsibilities as a father. That results in the two siblings working hard for everything that they needed. Your heart sank at the thought that Jaehyun had to work hard to get what he needed and wanted, the thought that he and his sister sacrificed everything to make a living. His sister was 23 and got a job as a barista, while Jaehyun enlisted as a military man the moment he turned 20. He was earning so little, yet it helped him and his sister to survive.
“What you see, what you hear, when you leave, leave it here.” He answered confidently, dimples popping out as he smiled.
“What happens in Nami Island, stays in Nami Island.” You said before tiptoeing and pressed your lips on his. It was only 5-seconds, but it felt too long for Jaehyun. “Let’s go, I’m meeting my friends for coffee. I’ll just go to the restroom first.”
What you see, what you hear, when you leave… leave it here. How will he leave what happened here when you just stole his first kiss?
“Oh god, what did I do…” You tell yourself the moment you shut the restroom door. “Why did I do that?”
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PRESENT DAY.
It’s been a dreadful week since the accident. Jaehyun was still recovering from it and unfortunately, still in coma. You weren’t the religious type of person, but every night you’d pray to a deity– for his speedy recovery. As of now, you were back at your house. You had a few stitches on your forehead and a broken arm, you even went back to work for a few days after you got discharged despite your father saying that he was willing to let you rest for at least a month. And today, after work, you had informed your driver to head straight to the hospital and not home.
There was no one to update you about Jaehyun’s current situation. As far as you know, he was staying in a private room after spending a few days in the ICU. His parents would visit him whenever they can, but due to personal reasons, are not able to stay through the night as they both work. Heading to the hospital was not part of your plan this evening, yet something was telling you that you must. Your intuition was pushing you to visit your boyfriend.
And your intuition was right. Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t know who’s responsible for all of this mess and accident.
The moment you arrived, you were shocked to see that the door of your boyfriend’s room was open, and a few bodyguards were outside by the waiting area a few meters away. It wasn’t a huge room, a bed and a bathroom fit in the small space so you could hear and see what’s going on inside. You were about to enter but you stopped your tracks when you heard a familiar voice.
“The doctor said he hasn’t awakened yet, no records of him waking up this week. But he seems okay, and his vital signs are normal.” Your mother says, “Hyeongcheol, this is bad. What if the media finds out about this? Worst case, what if your daughter finds out you’re responsible for their accident?”
“She wouldn’t find out because we’ll make it seem like it really was an accident.” Your father answered, “Y/N wouldn’t find out. I’m good at hiding secrets like her– she hid her relationship with her bodyguard? I’ll hide every single information about this from her.”
“You’ve gone too far, Hyeongcheol. I cannot believe I’m married to a person like you. Jaehyun is a person, even if he’s just a bodyguard who, take note of this, your daughter loves so much. Why does it bother you so much to the point where you almost got the two of them killed?”
“Nayeon, I’ve worked so hard to be the best. To be the richest person in this country. To give you the life the four of you deserve. I’m not letting one scandal about my daughter dating a bodyguard ruin that, we both know that this man is not capable of being in a relationship with Y/N. She deserves better.”
“And Y/N deserves a better father, a supportive, selfless and loving father.” She sternly said, “All this because you’re concerned about your image, our family’s image. And you know what? If someone finds out about all of this, that is a much bigger problem that people will talk about– not because our daughter is dating her own bodyguard, but because of this inhumane act you did. If ever the press finds out about this whole Y/N and Jaehyun scandal you formed in your head, it will die down in a few days, weeks possibly. But this whole accident? It won’t, it will stick with you and your name forever.”
Your heart broke. You didn’t know what to do or where to go. You were frozen on the spot. As much as you try not to believe it, the person behind the accident was your father. He planned it all along, all of this while me and Jaehyun were planning to tell him. You thought, holding the straps of your bag tightly. You could hear your mother’s heels click as she walked through the door, how will you face them after finding out the truth?
Your mother puts her hand on her chest and emits a loud gasp the moment the door spits her out, seeing you standing by the door with an unexplainable look on your face. A mixture of anger, disappointment, fear, and broken heart. All those four combined as one.
“How long have been standing there?”
“Long enough to hear father confess the crime he committed.”
She had pulled you inside the room, closing the door behind her. It is this moment that you realized your grandmother was right– she was right all along. Trust no one – be it your friends, your lover, or even your security, maybe even family. That continued to chant inside your head, trust no one. Trust no one but thyself. Because even the closest ones you have, like your own father, will betray you.
“Here’s your worst-case scenario, Hyeongcheol.”
“Y/N…”
“You did it dad?” You ask, trying to keep your composure even though you could feel your blood boil and tears threaten to fall. “You– you did something to that car that led me and Jaehyun to this accident?”
“I didn’t do it for yo–”
“Did you do it dad, yes or no?”
Your voice was filled with anger. It was the first time your mom has ever seen you so angry, it felt like you were a different person and not her precious girl who loved her parents dearly. But who would love their parents after finding out the truth? When she noticed your fists balled up, she tried to pull you away, trying her best to calm you down by saying words such as he didn’t do it or don’t hurt your father and many more words that you deafened to listen to. It wasn’t much of a help to you, it made your anger even worse, like throwing a gallon of gasoline to a wildfire. Rage filled your eyes, and you were ready to fight your own father.
“Answer me!” You yelled, “A simple yes or no, dad! Did you do it or not?! Because I hope the fuck not, I hope I was only hearing things!”
“…I did it out of love, I did it for you– for our family.”
Out of love.
For our family.
Out of love.
For our family.
Fuck. Fuck this family. Fuck this system. Fuck the selfish, narcissistic, rich people like your father. Your knees felt jelly as that stupid, fucked up sentence continues to ring inside your head. You were all out of words, like every single word does not exist anymore. You wanted to run away, but you can’t. You didn’t want to leave Jaehyun here, you didn’t want to go home.
Over the past few weeks since the accident occurred, you’ve been blaming yourself. You were thinking that maybe you were the reason why the two of you got into it. Maybe you were a distraction while he was driving. You’ve been blaming yourself thinking you were responsible for everything that happened, but that person was your own father.
“Leave.” You say, “Leave dad, mom. I can’t be in the same room as the two of you.”
-
Doyoung: I heard about what happened.
Doyoung: Are you coming home?
Doyoung: Gongmyung and I are worried sick. Where are you?
Gongmyung: Y/N, please return our calls.
Gongmyung: You weren’t at the hospital nor your office.
Gongmyung: Even your bodyguard doesn’t know where you are. Your location is not shared, and we cannot track you at all.
You locked your phone, turned on the do not disturb mode and shoved it back to your bag after seeing the notifications you’ve received from your brothers. A day has passed since you found out about the accident, you didn’t come home– no, you couldn’t come home knowing what your father has done. You couldn’t stay at the hospital for so long either, feeling really guilty about what happened and seeing Jaehyun weak and in pain hurts you.
After resting (more like crying your eyes out) inside the motel you checked in, you found yourself walking along the same path you and Jaehyun took years ago, where you first got to know him better. Exactly like four years ago, autumn is gloomy. Autumn is painful. You sat on a wooden chair facing the water that surrounded the whole island, letting the view cloud your mind with thoughts.
What if you weren’t from an influential family, would you be able to date whoever you wanted without being judged by most of the people who knew you?
What if you and Jaehyun live life like a normal person, what would be the thing that you would love doing together as a couple?
What if you left the venue earlier and did not receive any interviews?
What if…
What if Jaehyun never wakes up?
You felt a tear escape from your eye, and you let out a scoff. Your dreams are really simple, aren’t they? You dream of living a simple life, as a simple person, from a simple family.
“I knew we’d find you here.”
You turn around and see your two brothers, Gongmyung was holding a coat which he immediately placed on your shoulder and Doyoung was holding a duffel bag, which you assumed had clothes inside. The two sat next to you, sandwiching you between them. And that made it worse– your tears wouldn’t stop from falling.
“We know you wanted space, but we want you to know that we’re here for you.” Doyoung said, taking your hand in his. “What father did was unforgivable. We understand where your anger is coming from, Y/N.”
“We won’t force you to come back home with us, don’t worry. We’re just here to comfort you.” Gongmyung added, “Take all the time you need to heal. Cry it all out.”
And you did. You cried to the two of them until there were no more tears left to cry.
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WINTER, FOUR YEARS AGO, TWO MONTHS AFTER THE TRIP TO NAMI ISLAND.
It was the weekend, the first time in months that the three of you were home. You emerged from your bedroom to the formal dining room where your brothers were peacefully having breakfast.
“Has anyone seen Jaehyun?”
Your question almost choked Doyoung from drinking his hot coffee. You cocked an eyebrow, what was wrong with your question? You were just looking for your bodyguard because you’ve noticed that he’s been gone for a while and that your driver, Jaemin, has been double working. As your driver and your bodyguard.
“Why?” Doyoung asked, putting down his cup of joe. “You never take interest in your bodyguard.”
“Well, he’s been gone for a week, maybe even two weeks now. Just wanted to make sure he’s not dead or something.”
The eldest flips his newspaper, “Jaehyun’s out of town with his family.” Answered Gongmyung, receiving confused reactions from the two of you. “Don’t give me those looks, I’m closer to him than you two are because he was once my bodyguard.”
Satisfied, you sat next to Doyoung and poured yourself a cup of coffee. “Well, that’s great, I’m attending a friend’s birthday party tonight and it’s great that he isn’t here to prevent me from getting drunk with my friends.”
“Your dreams are so simple, Y/N.” Doyoung teased, and you rolled your eyes in return.
“I know, right?”
That night, while getting ready, you made sure to tell Jaemin not to wait for you. You told him to just drop you off at the club and will contact him again or any of the drivers if you need assistance to go home. After that you prepared yourself, you wore your favorite mini-dress from Balmain, paired with platform pumps from Versace in the same color. Your outfit reveals a lot of skin, which you knew your brothers would either make you change your clothes or convince you to bring something that would help you cover up just in case.
When you arrived at the club, the guards outside immediately recognized you. They opened the doors of the establishment, causing a few groans and possibly profanities from the people in line. What could you do anyway? This was owned by one of your friends from high school (the one that Doyoung has warned you about), and you were considered a VIP. It was really loud– considering that you were walking down the stairs, a bit far from the main club, the blasting music and colorful lights flashing, mixed with the loud cheers of young people partying and having the best time of their lives. You missed this: partying. Your parents may sleep through the night knowing that their daughter was inside her apartment, either studying or sleeping abroad, but every weekend, you and your college friends party as if the world was ending the following day. You loved partying and dancing; you can’t even count the number of boys you’ve made out with before.
When you spot your group of friends, they cheered loudly and poured you a shot of vodka right away. Starting a bit strong tonight, you thought, taking another before hissing due to the taste of the alcohol.
One drink led to another, and it was obvious that you were fueled up by the alcohol. You noticed some of your friends were doing body shots, some were passed out on the couch while you found yourself on the dance floor. Swaying your hips and arms raised as you danced to the rhythm. You knew you had enough alcohol when you started making out with a random guy on the side of the dance floor. His lips were soft, but not as soft as that person’s lips you kissed out of nowhere in your favorite place. His lips tasted like alcohol and cigarettes combined, not like the cherry flavored lips of Jaehyun.
Why couldn’t you stop thinking about Jaehyun lately? Why was he coming to your dreams and thoughts? Why is he in your mind when, right now, you’re making out with a total stranger? It’s no longer the alcohol in your system that’s thinking about him, maybe it was your mind– possibly your heart. This is dumb, you thought. You hated Jaehyun, right? But why are you feeling confused about how you feel towards him?
You pull away from the person you were making out with, he was hesitant to let you go at first, keeping his hands on your waist to keep you close to him. You tried pushing his hands off, badly needing to go to the restroom.
“Come on, don’t go now! We’re having fun!” He said, trying to keep you closer to him.
Blech. This was when he finally let you go. When he felt your vomit come contact with his skin and on his white button-up shirt. “You– ah fuck, can’t say anything bad about you because you’re a Kim.” The boy said, stepping back and tried to remove himself from the scene. You could only give him a smug smile and wipe your lips.
You remember walking back to the booth and tried calling someone but ended up blacking out before they could even answer.
“Jesus Christ, Y/N…” Your father sighs, shaking his head in disbelief when he saw you lying on the couch in the living room at 6:00 in the morning. “Please cook some hot soup and prepare some ibuprofen, as well as a hot bath for her.”
The maids nod their heads before heading off to the kitchen and to your bathroom. Your mother who just woke up, was confused as to why the servants were in a rush so early in the morning, walks to the living room only to find her youngest blacked out and the three men of the family are still in their pajamas, standing across the couch and staring at your sleeping figure. You were covered with a jacket and your head was hanging off the couch, your heels and personal belongings were tossed somewhere in the room.
“Who brought her home?” She asked, sitting down on the couch and gently swooped your head before placing it down on her lap. She started running her fingers on your hair, tangled as you tossed and turned on this uncomfortable sofa earlier.
“Jaehyun did.” Answered the eldest, “I’m curious, are we going to ground her for coming home drunk and passed out?”
“She’s an adult, we can’t ground her.” Argued the middle child. “Right, dad?”
“I don’t know, this is the first time I’ve seen her so drunk. Was she like this when she was still in university?”
“You can’t ground her, Hyeongcheol. She’s an adult who’s living her life, let’s just tell her to drink responsibly next time so she won’t end up going home passed out again.” Your mother says, ending the three men’s discussion. Just in time, the maid informs them that the hot bath is ready.
Your parents have tried almost everything to wake you up, but only one was effective. Doyoung pointed his phone’s speaker to your ear and played an audio compilation of sirens on YouTube with the volume set to the highest, causing you to jolt up and with a throbbing headache. You would’ve gone feral if it weren’t for your hangover. You sure missed partying, but not the hangover the following day.
“How did I get here?” You asked, sitting up straight but your head felt heavy. “Oh heavens, I’m never drinking again.”
“Jaehyun brought you home.”
“I thought he was out with his family– fucking hell, Doyoung, can you turn that shit off?!”
“Y/N, language!”
You apologized to your mother, pointing out that Doyoung’s siren noises were making your hangover worse than it already was. How did Jaehyun get into the club? You were sure you were just thinking about him before you vomited on that dude you were making out with last night. What is he, some sort of a knight and shining armor? You thought, bringing your hands to your head as you felt another pain.
“I’m sorry, mom and dad.”
“It’s alright,” Your dad said, “Go ahead and freshen up. I’m letting you take this day off for you to rest. Take a bath and join us for breakfast, you’re reeking alcohol.”
If your dad made you go to work today, a hundred percent, you wouldn’t be able to focus and end up sleeping in your cubicle for the rest of the day. Speaking of work, has Jaehyun returned from his leave? That was something that has been in your mind as you bathe in the hot water. That thought stayed inside your mind until you fell asleep during the day.
A brand-new day, after spending yesterday in bed with a really bad hangover, you were ready to go back to work again. There were tons of scheduled meetings with your father today, some with the investors, some with the same old people who work for the company– there were too many to mention. You left the house at exactly 7 a.m., shocked to see Jaehyun back at work with the same stoic face of his whenever he greets you outside of your house.
As you rode the elevator of your father’s building, you could feel the awkward atmosphere inside the lift. It was less awkward when you were in the car as Jaemin was there, but it was more awkward when you realized that the only people riding the lift are the two of you.
“Thanks.” You said, after mustering the courage to break the silence. “I don’t know how you got there and how you brought me home, but thanks for bring me back safely.”
“It’s my job, you don’t have to thank me for it.”
Jaehyun was standing in front of you, his back was facing you so you couldn’t see his reaction, but you were certain that he had kept his straight face.
“So… how did–”
“You called me and confessed something through voice message.” He said bluntly.
I did what? Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought of what happened that night. You were sure you remember making out and vomiting on someone, but definitely not confessing to Jaehyun!
“I did what?”
“It’s hard to say, Ms. Y/N… let’s just pretend it didn’t happen nor did I say that.” He sighs, waiting for the elevator doors to open and exited, waiting for you to exit as well.
You were about to say something, but a woman dressed in a corporate attire greets you the moment you step out of the elevator. “Good morning, Ms. Y/N! I am Gyeoul, your new assistant and your father asked me to show you to your new office. It’s located at the west wing of the building, three floors below your father’s office which is located at the east wing. All of your stuff has been taken from the cubicle you were using and moved here.”
You couldn’t help but try to recall the events of that night as you follow the woman to your new office while Jaehyun walks behind you. My phone. You thought, fishing out the device out of your bag. You realized that you haven’t had a chance to open this up yesterday because of your hangover and you watched Netflix through the TV. You were no longer paying attention to Gyeoul who was informing you things about your office, that’s the last thing you could think of. Goosebumps occur to your body as you open the messages you shared with Jaehyun, seeing a few audio messages and are all marked as read.
“Oh my god,”
“Yes, Ms. Y/N? Is there something wrong with the location of your office or the interior design?”
“N-no! I mean, oh my god! It’s beautiful and the view is so pretty. I love it.” You said, changing the tone in your voice and shoved your phone into your pocket.
She smiles in return, “I’m glad you love it. I will head off now, if you need me, just buzz me and I’ll be here right away.”
When Gyeoul was about to leave, Jaehyun followed her, but you were quick to stop him by holding his wrist and closed the door. “This has to end. We need to talk about us.”
“What about us?”
You dropped your bag on the ottoman, letting go of his wrist and walked to the windows to gather your thoughts. You frustratingly run your fingers through your hair, frustrated that Jaehyun is acting like he does not understand what you’re saying.
“You’re in my mind lately and I don’t know why! It’s… it’s making me crazy! You’re making me crazy!” You confessed, “It was just a kiss! A simple, quick kiss but why is the aftermath like this? Why do I think of you all the damn time, even last night, when I was kissing some dude?”
“Miss Y/N–”
“Why am I starting to fall for you, Jeong Jaehyun?!”
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PRESENT DAY.
After crying for so long on Nami Island, your brothers have convinced you to eat with them at a local barbecue place. And even though you have vowed never to drink again, you and Gongmyung were drinking one on one (not Doyoung though, he’s driving back home).
“I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you,”
“Why are you saying sorry to us? You did nothing wrong.” Gongmyung said, flipping the meat on the grill as he watched you wipe another tear. “Stop crying now, Y/N. We’re not angry or disappointed.”
“And frankly, we noticed it already. The looks and smiles you two exchanged before? You make it seem so subtle but somehow my intuition told me that there was something between you and Jaehyun.” Doyoung smiled, handing you his handkerchief. “Wipe those tears. We understand why you hid it. You just wanted to protect Jaehyun and your relationship.”
“Grandma was so right, trust no one. Be it your friends or family.”
The moment they found out about the accident, Doyoung who was bound to Europe took the next flight back to Korea and Gongmyung rushed to the hospital despite him being in his pajamas. You couldn’t help but smile at your brothers, you swore the two of them had annoyed and teased you a lot growing up, but they’re always there to understand and protect you. 
“I don’t know where I’m going now…” You murmured, “I can’t go home, I don’t want to face dad after what happened.”
“You can stay at my condo, I’m not using it anyway since mom says I should still live with you all.” Gongmyung offered, “You can stay there until you’re ready. I can drive you to work and pick you up.”
“You’d do that?”
“Of course, you’re my baby sister!”
“Hey, she’s my baby sister, too!”
“Then I drive her to work and you drop her off at my condo then.”
“Alright, deal!”
After that dinner, you decided to check out of the motel and head back to the city with your brothers. As expected, Doyoung was the only one who’s allowed to drive as you and Gongmyung had a lot to drink. This week is too much for you to absorb, you don’t even have the energy to go to work but what could you do? You couldn’t abandon your job, after all, you’re the CEO now (although you still work under your father’s company). While Gongmyung snores in the front seat, you rest your head on the window. The night is deep and quiet, extra points for the rain as it gives you a really dramatic effect— almost as if you were filming a music video.
Now that you found out the truth, what will happen? Will your father admit the crime, or will he hide it until his conscience speaks out about it? There were many things running inside your head as you stared outside the window.
“Doyoung, can we visit Jaehyun?” You asked quietly, your brother looked at you through the rearview mirror with his brows raised. “I-I know it’s late but I really want to see him right now.”
Doyoung nods his head to your request, reminding you that it’ll be an hour until you arrive at the destination and that you should rest. But you couldn’t rest, you just simply couldn’t close your eyes because every time you do, you recall the last few seconds before the accident occurred. The whole drive to the hospital, you were just quiet. You weren’t holding your phone, you were busy looking out the window and trying to focus on other things and not the one running inside your head. 
“We’ll stay out here, call us when you need anything.” Doyoung said and closed the door of Jaehyun’s room for you. 
It was painful honestly, hearing nothing but his vital monitor beep as it keeps track of his vital signs. He was sleeping peacefully, no records of him waking up today unfortunately. You dropped your bag on the couch, taking a seat next to his bed before holding his hand. Oh the things you want to say to him right now, but it feels like it’s not the right time for that. You stayed like that for a while, and eventually you found yourself crying again. Crying and apologizing. 
The clock strikes 2 in the morning. You didn’t notice that you fell asleep crying and holding his hand. The strain you felt on your neck woke you up, you lifted your head and looked at Jaehyun. He was still asleep, nothing new. But you were deeply asleep. Sighing, you stood up and grabbed your belongings, planted a kiss on his forehead and whispered: “I love you” before leaving him alone inside the cold hospital room again.
I’ll be back, Jae. 
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FOUR YEARS AGO, THREE WEEKS AFTER YOUR CONFESSION.
Ah, the season of bliss. The season most of the company employees look forward to the most— the season of all seasons, Christmas. Your father, since he started his own company, made sure to thank all the people around him for their hard work and service to the companies he had. That is why he rents a whole hotel resort somewhere around the globe to celebrate another successful year of working altogether. 
And this year, due to popular demand and due to the current situations of the world, they decided to celebrate the year-end party in Jeju Island. Luckily, one of your father’s great friends, who happens to be Kun’s father, owns the hotel-resort everyone was staying at for three days. That’s three days of different activities with material and cash prizes that got everyone so excited. 
Because everyone was given a chance to explore the wonders of Jeju throughout the day, the final event to wrap up the three-day company outing will be held tonight, the Christmas Party. The hotel resort you were staying in is owned by the Qians, which is why Kun was present here as well. That being said, you made plans to grab a drink with him as you wanted to relax before going back to your reality tomorrow.
“So, is there a lucky guy in your life now?” He asked, taking a sip of his pinot noir. “Doyoung said you want to focus on your training, what’s that like?”
“I do want to focus on my training, but there’s this guy who… well, it’s a mess right now.”
You don’t even know if Jaehyun has reciprocated your feelings or not. After that confession of yours, the two of you never had the chance to talk about it as well. He just left your office like nothing happened and waited for you until your work was done. It was quite embarrassing for your part, really, you’ve never confessed to anyone after Kun and since then you were just casually dating. For the first time in years, you had the chance to confess to a guy once again but it feels like it was a bad idea. It really wasn’t a mess, you just said that because you knew that it would stop Kun from interrogating you.
Or so you thought.
“Why is it a mess? Sending you mixed signals?”
You shook your head, he’s not, in fact I’m the one who’s at fault. “No,” You answered, “Sorry, I won’t go deep into the details. It’ll go away soon, besides I’m not even sure if I’m really into him.”
Hell yeah you’re sure. 
You have successfully maneuvered the topic to a different one. Kun has exchanged stories with you about how his fiancé was excited about getting married and how they were so ready for their honeymoon in Maldives. You could see it in his eyes that he was enamoured of his significant other— they’re so lucky to have him in their life. Your little catching up session ended when your alarm rang and reminded you that it was time for you to go and prepare for tonight’s dinner party. You bid your goodbye to Kun and he handed you the invitation for his wedding before walking away.
And now here you were, on the balcony of the event’s place that overlooks the beach. You took one last sip of your wine before placing it on the small table and removed your shoes, holding the straps on your fingers as you walked down the stairs that lead to the beach. No single soul was here except you and you took advantage of that. You walk closer and closer to the shore until you feel the cold winter sea on your feet (which you really regret now).
“Miss Y/N,”
You turn your head and see Jaehyun. This was the first time you saw him since the three days you’ve been here. He looked cute as he was still wearing his tuxedo with an antler headband.
“Walk with me.” You request, waiting for him to respond. He nodded his head and walked until he was finally next to you. “So, I want to apologize about what happened three weeks ago. From me calling you so late in the evening, you picking me up in the club and uh… me confessing. That’s kind of unprofessional of me, I think, and I know you’re just doing your job and it’s not your fault that I’m uh, starting to like you because I’m the one who’s responsible for my feelings. I hope we can just pretend that that never happened.”
“Y/N,” Jaehyun called, you stopped your tracks by the sudden drop of formalities. “Do you know why I walked out right after your confession?”
“Because we’re two different people who are not meant for each other.” He continues, “You’re so near yet so far, you don’t deserve someone like me. You deserve someone who lives the same lifestyle as you, the same tax bracket as you, someone who—”
“So what you’re saying is that you think the two of us wouldn’t work because we’re from two different worlds?” You asked, his nod made you scoff. “Then I guess that’s it. You’ve rejected me then?”
“I wasn’t finished though,” He says, “We’re from two different worlds, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to be with you, wanting to try it with you. I know what I’m about to enter would be a huge risk, a huge scandal, but if it’s with you, then I’m willing to take that risk.”
And in that moment, what he told you, it felt like a dream. Is this really happening? You ask yourself, unable to process the words he just said. Your solution? Run back to the hotel and leave him on the beach because you got shy. Jaehyun, however, laughs at what he just witnessed.
The morning after, you found yourself waking up due to the hotel staff knocking at your door. You were so confused because it was early in the morning and the checkout was not until 1 o’ clock in the afternoon. When you opened the door, the bellboy handed you a small bouquet of forget me nots, confused, you took them and thanked the bellboy. It’s winter— usually, forget me nots bloom during the spring. You touch its petals and realize they were artificial.
“Roses are overrated. Forget me not flowers symbolize true love and respect— so I hope you know that my confession last night is true. They’re artificial because they’re not in season yet, I’ll give you the real one in the spring. Let me know if you’re willing to take this risk with me, no rush, let me know whenever you’re ready. Happy holidays, Y/N. Signed, J.”
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PRESENT DAY.
Thank heavens for the condominium your brother owns. Somehow, you were able to calm yourself by staying there and found comfort instead of going back home. You’ve been staying there for quite a while, and your brothers willingly drove you back and forth to the office and to the condominium. Your parents have tried to contact you, but your brothers insisted they give you time and let you heal first before speaking to them. Jaehyun, so far, has yet not woken up from his coma. It’s been 8 weeks since the accident, yet no signs of him waking up happened. 
“Miss Y/N, Johnny Suh is here to see you.” said your secretary through the intercom.
“Oh, alright. Send him in please.”
Johnny Suh, the famous director and currently the CEO of Suh Film Studios, enters your office with a bouquet of tulips. 
“I heard about the accident when I was in America, how are you?” He asked, taking a seat on the chair across your table. “These are for you, by the way.”
“Thank you, they’re pretty.” You compliment, taking the bouquet from his hands. “I’m good, it’s been a month and I’m doing good now.”
“What about that bodyguard of yours? Is he good?”
You stopped looking at the flowers and gazed at him, “Uh, no. I heard he’s still at the hospital.” You reply, “So what brings you here?”
“Nothing, just wanted to see how you were doing— personally. I haven’t heard much from you since you last contacted me and since the accident, there haven’t been many updates about you.”
Still the same person who never gets tired of flirting with you since you were introduced two years ago. You let out a chuckle, standing up to put the flowers he gave you in an empty vase. “I’ve been avoiding the media and the internet, that's why you haven’t heard any updates about me.” You say, turning your back against him as you place the vase on the small cabinet by the window. “Johnny, why are you really here?”
“I told you, I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” He answered, “Also, I’d like to take you out for dinner.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? I just wanted to catch up and take you out. Nothing more, nothing less.”
You turn your heels around, “Well, alright then.”
“Great, I’ll pick you up at 6.”
The moment Johnny bid his goodbye, you return to your seat and stare at the tulips resting on the vase. You remember Jaehyun again, he loved giving you flowers. Sometimes you’d find them in your office, on a random Monday morning with a cute note. The specific flower he loved to buy you were forget me not— he loved them because they only bloom during the spring, he loved them because it’s his reminder that he will keep you in his thoughts everyday. He loved that the flower means being faithful, because like the flower, he was faithful to you as well. After all, you really are his first official girlfriend. Sucks that his first relationship is hidden from the public.
You didn’t have time to go back home and just asked Johnny to pick you up at your office. You informed your brothers beforehand as well, they told you that they will be visiting Jaehyun tonight. He brought you to the newest Michelin restaurant in town, owned by Lee Taeyong— your brother, Doyoung’s best friend and as he quoted your ‘brother from a different mother’. Taeyong was shocked to see you again after so long that he offered to pay for your whole meal, which Johnny disagreed to because it was still business (also because the meal you’re currently eating is worth at least $500).
“You know your bodyguard has always been so protective of you, aren’t you getting annoyed by it?”
That’s because he’s my boyfriend. “The first few weeks were annoying, but I grew out of it. I kind of miss having him around.”
“Why? Is he your boyfriend or anything?”
You almost choked on the wine you were drinking, but brushed it off with a chuckle. “Stop putting meaning into it, John. He’s been my bodyguard for four years, I got used to him being around and following me.”
“You’re right, I just assumed that he’s into you because he’s really protective of you and looks like he’d punch any other guy who tries to touch you.”
“His gaze has always been like that ever since.”
Johnny was about to answer but got interrupted by your ringing phone. You excused yourself and took the phone with you before heading to the restroom. Gongmyung has sent you numerous text messages while Doyoung called you, quickly, you answer the call. Just before you could say a greeting, you could hear Doyoung’s frantic voice. 
“We’ve been trying to contact you, are you still with Johnny?” He asked, by the sound of his breath, you know that he has been walking back and forth.
“I am, what’s happening?”
“Jaehyun…”
You didn’t need any further explanation; you ended the call and went back to Johnny. The older man noticed the haste in your actions, “What’s happening?”
“I have to go,” You reply, taking your wallet and pulling out cash. “I’m sorry, it’s an emergency.”
You placed the cash on the table and headed off quickly, unable to hear Taeyong’s voice when he called you as your attention was focused on Jaehyun’s condition. Fuck, you thought, seeing the traffic on the streets. It’s rush hour and no taxis or buses are available nearby. You could hear Johnny call for your name, and felt his hand on your shoulder. 
“It’ll take you hours if you wait here, I’ll drive you.”
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TWO YEARS AGO
Two years have passed, yet it feels like it was yesterday when you got drunk and confessed to Jaehyun. Your relationship is slow as the two of you agreed. Keeping a private, lowkey relationship was something you weren’t expecting you’d have, but you were definitely satisfied with it. You and Jaehyun would sneak kisses whenever he enters your office, sometimes you’d take the risk of making out on the couch of your office after business hours. You’d always tell your parents not to wait for you for dinner because you have something else to do in the office, but you were just there so you could spend quality time with your boyfriend. Jaehyun enjoys the thrill, whenever the two of you are left alone in the building, he’d sneak a kiss on the hallways where the cctvs are out of sight, inside the elevator if there’s only the two of you, before heading to the parking lot, you’d pull him to the emergency stairwell, inside the car while your driver fills up the gas. 
His lips were so… addicting. And that’s why you arranged a rendezvous together. Away from the city, from the crowd. In a little cabin in the woods in a place where no one knows the two of you, to celebrate your first year together.
“You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my whole life,” he says, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before claiming your lips. “I love you so damn much.”
You feel your cheeks heat by the compliment. Jaehyun kisses you slowly and passionately while your hands work on unbuttoning his white dress shirt. This is the first time since you’ve dated that you will be intimate with each other. All you ever did in the span of one year were sloppy make-outs in places you know no one will see you. Though there are days you could feel his boner through his pants during makeout sessions, he’d laugh them off and tell you that he was willing to wait for the perfect time for that to happen. 
“C-can I?” He asked gently, referring to your shirt. You nod your head and feel the cold air from the A/C on your exposing skin as he peeled off the shirt. Jaehyun bites his lips as he sees your breasts bounce once the cloth is removed. “Gorgeous, gorgeous girl.”
Jaehyun took this chance to remove the remaining clothes off of him and yours as well, he kissed your forehead before mumbling a quick thank you then proceeded to plant kisses on your cheeks, the tip of your nose and your lips. So what was it with Jaehyun’s lips that are so addicting? Because whenever he kisses you, you feel like your world slows down. It’s like his lips were made for you and you only. You feel your head lay down on the soft pillows while he peppers kisses on your neck lowering himself further as he creates a trail; he kisses the skin between your breasts, he pauses in the middle of your tummy. You felt goosebumps as you felt his hot breath on your skin. Someday. Someday in the future. He thought, kissing the skin before proceeding to lower himself.
It feels so embarrassing knowing how wet you are right now, but Jaehyun assures you that it was fine. He runs his finger along your slit, causing you to suck air. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing the nub clockwise as you arch your back. He inserts a finger, followed by another one as he distracts you from the pain by dipping his lips to yours. 
“Jaehyun, c-can I?”
He took your pleas as a signal, he quickly discarded his boxers and kicked them off his legs. You knew that Jaehyun was packing, you could feel it through your pants or skirt whenever he’s hard while you’re making out yet you were fascinated by how it looks now that you’re seeing it. Your lips curl into a grin, sitting up and your hands take his cock, precum visible on its tip. You pump his shaft a few times, earning groans and heavy sighs from Jaehyun. You took his length into your mouth, tasting the salty, bitter taste of his precum. His hips started to jerk forward slowly, feeling the splash of pleasure as you suck him. He smirks when he hears you gagged, removing himself from your mouth and wiped the drool on the side of your mouth.
After he opens the silver packet, he rolls the rubber on his cock. He puts his fingers below your chin, and you look up to him with a smile. Jaehyun connects his lips to yours and you let go of his dick when you feel him gently push you to the bed, your lips not breaking up. You feel his hand spread your legs to position himself between you. 
He breaks the kiss and lines his cock on your entrance, “Ready?” He asks, earning an eager nod from you. Jaehyun plants a kiss on your forehead before he pushes the tip in. You let out a gasp, feeling his thick cock rub against your wall. “Baby, you’re tight.”
Your eyes shut closed when Jaehyun started to suck on your nipple, he palms your breast and started to rock his hips slowly. The mixture of moans and groans filled the whole room as his entire length was buried inside of you. He maintained the slow pace, taking his time as he practically makes out with your nipple while you tug his hair in pleasure. When he finally stopped, he started whispering sweet nothings against your cheek and lips. 
The sex was slow and intimate— nothing like the ones you did when you were in university because now, you were doing it with the person you love and not a random guy you met at a party. It feels different knowing how much you love this guy, it feels so perfect and you feel loved, adored and appreciated by the things he’s been whispering to you. The bed creaks with each thrust he makes, your fingers that were once on Jaehyun’s hair, now twisting the comforter underneath you. 
“Babe,” you mewl, “I-I think I’m close, please don’t stop…”
“So am I.”
Jaehyun started to fasten his pace, his length was filling you up and the skin slapping got louder and louder, causing it to echo inside the room. The orgasm that was slowly building up earlier, was now at its peak. You were the first to cum, wrapping your legs around his waist as you let him chase his high. Your walls clench around him, causing his cock to twitch— his thrusts became more frantic. Jaehyun moans your name as his cum spills into the condom. 
He pulls out of you, removing the rubber from him and making sure to tie and discard it properly. Soon, he was lying next to you in bed. Planting kisses on your forehead and whispered a small thank you and I love you to you. It felt perfect; you in his warmth, not caring about the world and its problems— because what’s important right now is just the two of you.
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PRESENT DAY.
After you thanked Johnny for giving you a ride to the hospital, you rushed to the entrance. Stopping for a second to remove your heels and once you held them in your hands, you were unstoppable. The elevator was taking far too long to arrive so you chose to take the stairs as Jaehyun’s bedroom was located on the third floor only. After opening the emergency stairwell’s door, you stopped to catch your breath and walked to his room where your brothers were waiting for you outside.
“What happened?”
Doyoung turns around and sees you holding your heels, yet ignores the judgment he did as whatever he was about to comment did not matter right now. “It’s been thirty minutes, the doctors still hasn’t come out.” He says, “But I came to check up on him just as you asked me to, I told Gongmyung to come with me and after 10 minutes we were inside the room, we noticed his hand move as well as his vital signs.”
You plop on the chair beside you, catching your breath properly this time. The elevator door opens and spits out Johnny, holding your bag. Thankfully, Doyoung was a quick-thinker. He was quick enough to change the subject and got Johnny out of the scene before the man finds out the reason why you were in a rush to go to the hospital. 
A number of doctors and nurses exit Jaehyun’s room, and call for you and Gongmyung. “Do you mind if we enter the room altogether?” Dr. Park asks, the two of you nodded and entered the room. “Jaehyun, the people who stood as your guardians for the past few weeks are here. Your sister is on her way here according to the assistant nurse.”
Jaehyun had a confused look on his face as he stared at you, he was staring for so long that you were starting to get nervous. “If you mind me asking Jaehyun, do you remember them?”
“M-my boss, Kim Donghyun.”
“What about her?”
He frowns, as if he was trying to find the words he wanted to say. “I don’t know her.” except the one he said shattered your heart in just a second. “I-is he Mr. Gongmyung’s girlfriend?”
The doctor smiles and shakes his head, asking more  personal questions relating to him and even from his childhood. “You did a great job, Jaehyun. Thank you for answering.” He said, “Mr. and Ms. Kim, could we step out of the room for an explanation?”
“What was that, Doc? Why can’t he remember me?” You asked the moment Dr. Park closes the door.
“Jaehyun has traumatic amnesia— that is the result of the accident. As you know, amnesia involves losing an individual’s memory. That includes his memories from his childhood and some recent events.” Dr. Park explained, “If I may ask, Ms. Kim, what is your relationship with the patient and how long have you known him?”
Your eyes widened and looked at your brother. “He’s uh, he’s my bodyguard and we’ve known each other for 4 years now.”
Dr. Park nodded his head, “I see, but you do have to know that due to the severity of his head injury, it might take a while before he remembers most of his memories, but this is also just temporary. Amnesia does not have medications to help the patient restore the lost memories, but you may help him remember some of it by reminding him of the things he experienced or liked like music, movies, and even food. Meanwhile, the patient is doing well now as per his condition, but I suggest giving him a few more days here in the hospital for him to fully recover. He’s been in a vegetative state for quite a while.”
“Thank you for explaining, Dr. Park.”
The doctor nods his head and walks away, leaving you and your brother in the hallway. Just in time for Doyoung to return from his mission to get rid of Johnny. 
“I’m just… I’m just gonna go get some fresh air.” You say, putting on your shoes and walked away. You hear your brothers call for you, but you tuned out and head off to the elevator.
“What happened?” asked Doyoung, “Is Jaehyun alright?”
“Yeah, he is. But Dr. Park said that he’s suffering from amnesia, he remembers me and most of his memories, but none from his childhood and the past 4 years. He doesn’t remember Y/N.”
“What are we going to do about it?”
“I have no idea, Doyoung.”
You needed air, but you also needed to let out your anger. After running away and staying in your brother’s condominium, you finally had the strength to return home and face your father. You hand the cab driver a wad of cash, exiting the car and walked to the gates of your house with an exasperated face. You were almost a hundred percent sure that since you left, you were a persona non-grata in this household, but the guards were quick to open the gates for you. Even the maids who were cleaning the living room were shocked to see you enter the house and quickly pointed your parents’ direction when you asked them where they were. 
You barged in the small function room you have, you weren’t aware that your parents have visitors but that was the last thing you’d think of right now. What’s more important is what you have to say. Your mom’s eyes widened when she saw your presence, your father stopped drinking his whisky.
“Are you happy, Dad?” You say, voice loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. “Are you happy that your plan worked?”
“Y/N,” Your mother warned, “Not now.”
“Why not now, Mom? Are you scared that everyone in this room will know that Dad is responsible for putting me and my bodyguard in that accident? That he was the main reason why my bodyguard is in the hospital with amnesia right now and was almost on the brink of death?”
Loud gasps echo the room, and whispers spread like wildfire. Your father was not best at hiding his emotions, when he’s mad, he’s mad as hell. He couldn’t believe that now that you are older, you’re able to look at his eyes and have the power to shame him and have the power to speak the truth in front of a lot of people. He hated that you could now look straight into his eyes and tell the world what kind of father he was. And that is why his defense was to slap you across the face, so hard that the skin of his hand and your cheek made a loud noise. 
“What kind of daughter are you, bringing shame into this family by dating a bodyguard?”
“Really, Dad? You’re asking me that when you should’ve asked yourself, what kind of person are you? How do you sleep at night knowing you almost took your own daughter’s life, and another person’s life?” You sob, turning your heels to look at the people inside the room. Your eyes met their judging gazes, “What you heard is the truth. My own father plotted an attempted murder to me and my bodyguard. The news that said the cause of my car accident was unknown? That’s because my parents wouldn’t disclose the truth to the media. They’re ashamed of what the public would think of our family, knowing that I am dating an average guy, hell, my own bodyguard.”
Silence surrounded the room as you walked away. People were astounded and speechless as they looked at your parents in disgust. As you reach the doors of your house, you wonder where did your confidence to face your father come from? And quickly, you realized it was all the pent up anger you’ve been hiding from him all these years. It felt like a thorn was pulled out of your chest, yet everything was still a mess.
Now that the truth is out, what will happen to you? You were a hundred percent sure that by tomorrow, headlines will spread about your family and your current relationship status. But with Jaehyun suffering from amnesia, what would be your relationship with him now? Will your relationship switch from being lovers to strangers? Will he continue working for you and your family? You didn’t know what the set up would be.
You return back to your brother’s condominium, unable to think straight and sleep after what happened today. It was already 12 midnight, and you find yourself sitting by the window, downing a bottle of wine as you cry. Why was the world unfair? All you wanted was to be happy with Jaehyun, and nothing else. So what is it that you did in your life, that its consequence was to withhold your happiness with Jaehyun?
“Sir Gongmyung,” Jaehyun called, causing your brother to turn his head around. Three days have passed since he woke up and is now getting ready to be discharged. “I cannot express how grateful I am for… um… you paying for my hospital bills.”
“It’s nothing, Jaehyun. You don’t have to worry about it.”
“I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, sir—”
“No, Jaehyun, everything’s settled. You don’t have to,” Gongmyung gave him a warm smile, and waited for the nurses to give them the go signal to exit the premises. “Although are you sure you’re fine going back to your job? You can rest for a while before going back, we’re not in a rush to have you back after all.”
“I don’t think I can rest, sir. It’s my job to protect you all and I’m pretty sure I’m okay going back right away.”
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THREE YEARS LATER.
How long has it been since you left Korea?
It’s been a good three years since you left without saying a word, charging your father for attempted murder, winning the case and finally putting him to jail like he deserves. Haneul was still in business, thanks to your brothers’ hard work and dedication — it wasn’t easy but they made it possible. You were 27 when you left, and now you’re returning as a 30-year-old woman who now owns her own company, not affiliated with her father’s company and name. As the plane lands in Korea, you remember returning here when you were 23. A young, naive woman who had no idea what her future was like. The young woman only wanted to date freely without having everyone question her.
Doyoung had picked you up from the airport, driving you back to the apartment you bought in Gapyeong where you plan to stay for a while after finishing a huge movie. For a woman in her early 30s, directing your first movie felt good and knowing it was a blockbuster around the world boosted your confidence even more. That being said, all the hard work you’ve done for the past three years, you deserve a break. Going back to Korea was both painful and wonderful. You were going back knowing that you’ve healed some parts of you that were once broken, and you were going back to pick up the remaining pieces you’ve left there. 
“You sure you’re going to be okay here?” asked your brother as he pushed your last luggage inside the apartment, “Because I can take a few days off at work to stay with you here, even Jina can stay with you”
You let out a chuckle, shaking your head no. “I’ll be fine, I’ve been living abroad alone for three years. Pretty sure I can handle myself now.” You reply, “Besides, Jina is pregnant. I don’t want to be an inconvenience to the two of you.”
“You’re not an inconvenience, Y/N. You’re my sister and Jina misses you.”
“Doyoung, I really will be okay here. I’ll visit you whenever I can, but for now I really want to be alone” You persuade.
“Alright,” Your brother sighs, “The car you’ve asked for will be delivered here tomorrow. Be sure to wake up early for that, alright? I’m pretty sure I’ve asked them to deliver that at 9 a.m.”
You nodded your head and caged your brother into a hug, “Thank you… like seriously. For still taking care of me even if you already have your own families.”
“You’re our sister, you’re still our family.”
Doyoung left you alone inside the apartment, it was already 10 in the evening when you were finally done putting your things away. You open a bottle of wine and sat by the window of your apartment, enjoying the late night sky. As you finish your first glass, you couldn’t help but think of your ex — wait, was he your ex? There was no official breakup after all, there was no breakup to start with as he was suffering from amnesia during that time. You couldn’t help but chuckle and tear up, you avoided Jaehyun so much that time when you were attending court trials, and even avoided him when he tried to talk to you. 
Gongmyung said that after a year, he left his job and opted to work for the company his sister had recommended to him. You badly missed him, but you’re unable to do anything. You lost contact and everything with him. Jeong Jaehyun, maybe in another lifetime. You thought as you downed another glass of wine.
When the car Doyoung bought for you arrived, you wasted no time and headed off to the place you missed the most. The place you spend your happy and sad days. The place that brought you so much joy and so much pain. You noticed a lot has changed in the span of a few years of not visiting, there were a lot of tourists as expected. Families, couples, groups of friends — you smiled at the sight of them because everyone looked so happy. You sat on a vacant bench, watching the water and listening to the autumn breeze. You were back here, in the same exact spot you cried to your brothers when you found out the truth about your father. 
“I knew I’d find you here” You froze, you haven’t heard that voice in years. “Y/N…”
You didn’t want to turn around, you wanted to, but you weren’t sure if you could. Am I hallucinating? You thought, shutting your eyes close as well as your hands. This can’t be real. You thought again.
“Kim Y/N, the woman I love… you’re here again.” You gulped at the sentence, this really can’t be real. This is some fucked up shit. I’m dreaming. “My former boss who hated me, my former boss who took my first kiss on this island, my former boss who confessed to me on Jeju Island, my love who loved forget me nots.”
You could feel your heart beat faster as you heard him walk closer and closer like his voice. You still couldn’t turn your head around, you wouldn’t open your eyes. “My love who left me three years ago and returned…” At this point, you wanted to cry. He remembers, “My love, I can now remember you…”
You could feel his presence in front of you, his hands were on your knees as you quietly sobbed. The man you’ve been thinking of last night was in front of you, holding you, yet you refuse to believe it. “Y-you’re not real…” You say, hearing him chuckle.
“I am real,” He says, “and I can remember you now… your name is Y/N Kim, graduated from a university somewhere in Europe, daughter of a business tycoon. Y/N Kim who never failed to visit me in the hospital when I was in coma, Y/N Kim who took my first kiss… You’re Y/N Kim whom I loved the most three years ago, and I still do until now.”
Finally, you open your eyes and see the person in front of you. Jaehyun looked so different compared to what he looked like before you left. He looked much mature now, wearing his casual clothing and not his usual tuxedo back when you were still dating. Jaehyun smiles at you as you stare into his eyes, he wipes a tear that escaped your eye and leaned towards you to plant a kiss on your forehead. “I thought you forgot about me… what about your amnesia?”
“I started remembering the things we’ve shared together a month after you left the country…” He said, “Your brothers were a huge help as well. They were the ones who told me that you are my girlfriend, they were the ones who told me about our accident.”
“B-but…”
“I remember everything now, my love.” He said, connecting your lips together, “I will never forget you now.”
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wildemaven · 10 months
Text
fall apart, again : chapter one | joel miller
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Pairing: Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x OFC!Genevieve
WC: 5k
Warnings: 18+ Blog; Heavy on the Angst, post-outbreak world, no specific age mentioned but reader is close in age to Joel, minor character death, Ellie and her smart mouth, leaving the rest to read at your own risk to not spoil things, reader has a name but there are zero references to her appearance/she’s a blank slate character, 2nd POV, this is way AU so can be read as Game Joel or TV Joel
A/N: I’ve been so excited and nervous for this series. I don’t have a timeline for posting with this one, just going to take my time with it. Big thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for listening to me wrack my brain over this series and for being my second set of eyes!! Please go check out her new Dieter Series!!!
Series Masterlist / Playlist / Inspo Board
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Spring was slowly transitioning into the next season. 
Bright fragrant blooms wilting away into the dry soil from where they were born— a poetic reminder of the time. 
21 Summers. 
21 years of surviving. 
Enduring. 
Remembering—  the normal life before the outbreak that you mourn daily. 
A giant Bur Oak lends itself to you, branches providing ample shade as you sit resting against its sturdy trunk, the ground cool beneath where you sit. 
The harsh sunlight filters through the tree’s canopy, a warm dapple light speckled all around you. 
There’s a gentle flicker to your left that catches your attention, a single light-ray hits the small diamond on your dainty gold band where it sits heavy on your ring finger. You hold your hand up, remembering back to when you both had found it, he had immediately dropped to his knee— it wasn’t much, but it was perfect. 
“I give you this ring as a reminder that we face this world together. We’re an unbreakable team.”
Even after all these years and the circumstances of the world around you, it’s a vow you stand by. 
Branches above rustle and crack as a breeze sweeps through, the edges of the paper that is resting on a book in your lap fold over with each small gust, drawing your attention back to the words you’ve written. 
…We passed what looked like it was a small farm at one point. It made me yearn for normalcy. Where we could settle into the small farmhouse, drink our morning coffee on the wraparound porch while we watch the sun rise. Have all the animals that would give a homestead atmosphere. A coup of chickens where we would gather eggs daily, a flock of sheep and goats for milk, and a small herd of cows— because what’s a farm without some cows I can give silly names to. 
We’d raise a family in that farmhouse— lots of babies running around to wrangle. Breakfast of pancakes and fresh eggs, all of us together around our table, then tucking them all in at night after we’ve read them several stories. 
We’d lay in each other’s arms as the crickets sing their chirping songs. A breeze washing over us through the open windows, the evening air lighter and crisp as the night fades and our worn bodies succumb to sleep. 
There wouldn’t be heartache or sadness. No fighting or stressing over jobs. We’d be happy. We’d be together… 
“Eve! Let’s get goin’— we only got a few more hours of light left. Should be at the cabin before sundown.” The thick Texas twang breaks through your thoughts. 
Steve standing off in the distance, his blonde hair disheveled and wind blown as he looks back to where you’re tucked under the tree. 
He’s handsome in his own right, not someone you would have ever found yourself with in different circumstances, but now you wouldn’t know how to function without him. 
A chance meeting the day of the outbreak had brought the two of you together. 
You were working as a traveling nurse at a hospital 4 hours from where you lived, instantly going into crisis mode as lead of the trauma response team, the ER quickly overwhelmed with patients seeking treatment for bites or flu-like symptoms— it was unlike anything you had ever seen before in all your years as a nurse. 
Steve, a retired detective, was on vacation with his wife visiting a friend before the initial outbreak happened. The morning of, he’d gone on a duck hunting trip, while his wife went to breakfast with some girlfriends at a local Waffle House. He had brought her into your ER when he noticed she was acting strangely, similar to the symptoms the news was reporting as a widespread epidemic. Her outcome was not hopeful as you did your best to administer vials of antibiotics and fluids, the infection moving through her was beyond anything you could treat. 
It was Steve who made the call to abandon his wife and the hospital and the realization hit fairly quickly that there was less you could actually do to help others. 
Fleeing the area, seeking solace in one another as you both navigated through quarantine zones— searching for familiarity in your former hometown, only to be met with decimation and nothingness. 
Steve’s way around a gun helped keep you safe when evading FEDRA, the nursing kit you put together came in handy when stitching him up between shootouts and fighting off the infected— this was now your new normal. 
As the years progressed, you both found contentment with each other. Security gave way to a sense of comfort and revival, falling into a deeper connection beyond two people surviving a post outbreak apocalypse— if you were going to be in each other’s lives, you might as well be fully committed. 
“Eve! Pack your shit up— let’s go!” He spits out a little harsher, no real malice behind his tone— he likes to stick to his schedule. 
You don't respond, folding your letter carefully then tucking all of  your items into your canvas pack.  Standing to your full height, you give your legs a minute to let the blood reacquaint fully, your hands brushing the bits of dust and weeds from your pants. 
You hear Steve continue his huffing, as you make your way closer to where he’s standing. 
“I thought I told you to knock it off with those pointless letters!” He gruffs, hands secure at his hips and his head cocked to the side, hoping to catch your gaze. 
Your letters. They had become a loose journal, your stream of thoughts you needed to get out so you were not plagued by the pain and anxiety that came with them whirling around your brain. 
Letters to your past, letters to a new life that awaits you and sometimes to no one at all— you wrote about your travels, things you missed or longed for now, hope for the future. 
They were too much to keep, pages and pages filled with your words and stories, some containing memories too painful to read or share, a weight you didn’t want to carry, so you scattered them throughout your travels. In the last 21 years, you’ve written hundreds of them, dropping them in abandoned mailboxes, or tucked away in the abandoned spaces you’d settled into in passing, as if to send them to whomever you were writing to— leaving a trail of your life across cities and states. 
“And I thought I told you to stop calling me Eve— guess we don’t always get what we want?” You had asked him multiple times over the years to not call you Eve, that was your former life and you hated the reminder, but you know he doesn’t do it out of spite. 
The gravel crunches under your boots as you walk past, not looking to argue with him in the heat of the sun. 
Steve’s hand reaches out clasping around yours, halting your movements, his eyes fixed on you, furrowed brows as if he wants to say something. 
“Hey— Ya know I love you, right?” He sighs, his fingers toying with the gold band on your ring finger. 
You look to where your hands are joined, the twisting of the gold band a small gesture of his when things get tough or tense, you smile when you meet his gaze again. 
“I know.” You do know, and you feel it too. “Come on, we’ve only got a few hours of light left.” He shakes his head, but gives you a smile at the way you throw his comment back at him. 
*
It had been close to 2 hours of walking, nearly dark, by the time you both made it to the cabin, nestled among dozens of other abandoned cabins on the hillside of an old ski resort. 
You imagine it was a popular spot in its prime, filled with families taking their kids on their first snow trips, friends racing each other down the slopes, non-skiers enjoying warm beverages in the lodge while everyone else enjoyed the snowy weather. 
Now desolate and forgotten, a stop for raiders on the hunt for supplies and hostages or survivors seeking refuge in search of a town just north of here, Jackson. 
Steve had managed to trade for a hand-held CB radio early on, he kept tabs on chatter that happened among FEDRA, staying one step ahead of their whereabouts. At some point he had stumbled upon private channels used by other survivors, he didn’t talk much about what they discussed with you, it was his realm of expertise and a small thing that was just his, so you didn’t push him to share more than what he was willing to. 
It was a year ago he had connected with someone and heard about Jackson. There was an offer for a place for a fresh start, a community of other survivors, somewhere to feel safe and comfortable without fear of being attacked, placed in solitary confinement, killed— or infected. Steve decided it was where you both were meant to be, hashing out a plan and specific route on his tattered map, making sure to stay in constant contact with this person in Jackson as you both traveled. 
Venturing further into the resort, you both settled on the lesser marred of the dilapidated cabins.
“I’m gonna check the perimeter, you go on inside— check each room first, I’ll be right in. But remember, if I’m not back in ten minutes, you don’t come looking for me— you wait until morning and you head over that mountain, under no circumstances do you leave that cabin before sunrise.” Steve instructed, his hands on your shoulders reassuring the doubt he can see written all over your face. 
“Steve— W-what if, there’s something inside—“ Your voice is barely a whisper, nervousness creeping in as your hands grip onto Steve’s wrists that have moved to cup your face, his thumbs smoothing across the apples of your cheeks. 
“We’ve done this a million times before, I know you can do it— I wouldn’t send you in there if I didn’t think you were capable, you’ll be fine. Just think, this is the last time we have to do this. Then it’s you and me, in Jackson, together and safe— ‘kay?” His direct eye contact really drives home the message— together and safe.
“Okay.”
“I love you, go be brave.” Romantic and encouraging as he presses a kiss to your forehead. 
“I love you— be safe, please.” 
“Always.” He shoots a wink with his mustached smile, a few slow steps backwards then turning to make his way up the backside of the cabin, pulling the butt of his rifle close to his chest, hunched and scanning every inch of the surrounding area. 
The cabin would seem warm and inviting if the possibility of a Clicker behind the door wasn’t a high probability. 
Armed with the knife Steve insisted you keep on you at all times, your refusal at his request for you to carry a gun, you make your way up the front steps. 
Each move was slow and calculated, the wood beneath your boots wobbled and creaked the closer you got to the front door. The handle is cold to the touch as you twist it open, pushing the door with a little extra effort to unstick it from the doorframe. 
It’s dark and musty, uninhabited by the living and anything beyond that at first glance. Dust and cobwebs cover every surface, pictures still mounted on the walls slightly hanging uneven. A floral couch with two side chairs still arranged in an inviting way, waiting to be enjoyed during a long conversation. The kitchen was small but large enough that it still would have been possible to whip up a hearty meal over the stove, then gather at the tiny table to enjoy the meal and dessert. 
You’re grateful the floor plan is an open space, no immediate threat to you upon entering. 
There’s only two doors, which you assume hide a bathroom and a bedroom. 
The first door reveals nothing but a sink, toilet and shower-tub combo— you’re looking forward to a hot shower when you get to Jackson. 
You stare at the closed remaining door, the handle of the knife twisting in your hand as you prepare yourself, not really feeling like you have it in you to take out anything that might be waiting for you on the other side. 
A deep breath in, reaching for the the handle you give it a quick jiggle announcing your presence, twist and a quick swing open— a queen size bed draped in outdated sheets, bedside tables with lamps covered in a layer of dust, a dresser opposite the bed with a giant mirror hanging above it. 
Empty. 
Relief washing away the dread. 
Stepping into the room, you toss your pack and knife onto the dresser before finding a seat at the end of the bed, the mattress shifting under you, the springs groan as you settle into a comfortable spot. 
You’re not sure how much time has passed since you entered the house, noting it’s been a while since you had heard or seen anything from Steve, but knowing he likes to be thorough, you’re hoping he makes his way through the front door soon. 
The moon has crept into the night sky, shining through the small bedroom window, illuminating the reflection staring back at you. 
Sometimes you forget how long it’s been since you’ve seen what you really look like. While it’s you that you’re staring at in the mirror, you feel slightly unrecognizable to yourself— aged by 21 years in every sense, tired and worn down by the state of the world and lack of sleep. 
Your fingers lightly trace over your skin, taking in every detail, rediscovering every angle of your appearance— the old characteristics blending into the new ones. 
A yawn escapes you, remembering what Steve had said about not leaving, you decide to get yourself comfortable in bed and wait for him. 
Kicking your boots off, you crawl up the length of the bed, plopping your head down onto the stack of lumpy pillows, your mind wandering as you run through all the scenarios as to why Steve hasn’t returned yet, debating whether you should go take a look outside or listen and wait for morning— scared of what you might find waiting for you. 
Your eyelids begin a heavy blink, struggling to remain open and alert, your breathing evening out as your body relaxes into the mattress, sleep consuming your mind. 
Warmth surrounds you, the bed dipping and creaking pulls you from your sleep, immediate panic bursts in your chest as your eyes shoot open, your vision blurred as you seek out the movement of a shadowy figure behind you. 
“Hey, hey it’s okay— it’s just me.” 
“Steve?!” Turning your body to lay facing him, your hands fisting his shirt, scanning his face for any sign of distress or discomfort. “What took you so long?”
“I’m fine.” Placing a hand over one of yours that’s settled on his chest. “Decided to wait a bit, just to be sure nothin’ was out there— I’m sorry.” His hand moves to the base of your neck, his forehead resting against yours.
“S’okay.”
“No— I’m sorry for callin’ your letters pointless earlier. I know how much they mean to you.  I just—“ He releases a heavy sigh, voice quivering as he avoids eye contact with you. 
“What— what’s the matter?” You sense there’s something Steve’s not telling you. 
“Nothin’s the matter. I just worry about what’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours— you shut down on me and I just wish you’d let me help you carry the burden.” His gaze moves back to yours. “Promise me, when we get to Jackson, you don’t let your thoughts weigh you down any longer— promise me you’ll let yourself be happy there.”
“I p-promise.” You say, brushing the blonde strands of hair off of his forehead. “I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.”
“Nah, I was pushin’ your buttons— I deserved it.” You both laugh at his response. 
Steve leans into your space, his lips slotting over yours, it’s angled and slow, his grip on your neck still steady as the kiss begins to deepen. Throwing your leg over his hip, canting against the sturdiness of his thigh, seeking out some sort of friction to relieve the building ache between your legs. 
But before things are about progress, Steve’s pulling away from your mouth, slowing the roll of your hips with his hand. 
“We should get some sleep— we’ve got close to a 3, maybe 4 hour walk tomorrow, we need to get all the rest we can get.”
“Y-yeah, of course.” Your response is breathy, a slight pang in your chest at his soft rejection, questioning whether you had been too harsh towards him earlier in the day— but your body could use the rest. 
Adjusting yourself, you turn away from Steve, his large arm wrapping around and pulling you closer to him. Your back now against his firm chest, each one of your tense muscles slowly relaxing into him and his warmth. 
Thoughts of a new start in Jackson flood your mind as you drift off into a deep sleep. A chance at a better life, where Steve and you can settle into normalcy together. Retire from the constant fear and panic of daily survival out in the open. The taste of prosperity and the sense of peace, an almost tangible reality for the two of you. 
Steve senses sleep has set in for you, the ease of your regulated breathing paired with your gentle snores. He nestles himself into the crook of your neck, his fingers instinctively migrate to your ring smoothing over the cool metal, his thick whiskers tickle lightly at your skin as he whispers reserved confessions into the balmy. A gentle kiss to your shoulder before allowing himself to fully breathe easy, deciding to keep a watchful eye throughout the night. 
“You’ll be happier Genevieve, I promise.”
*
The sun is in its full glory once you both set out on the last stretch of your journey over the mountain.
Steve had been rather short with you all morning, you chalked it up to his tossing and turning all night, his eyes bloodshot, evident in lacking sleep— he had promised everything was fine, so you believed him. 
“How much longer do you think we have?” Not really knowing what to talk about with the uneasiness that’s been going on all morning. 
“I don’t know, Eve— they guy said it was about a 3 hour walk from the resort. We’ve been walking close to 2 and a half, so we’re probably close.”
“Please don’t call me—“
“Jesus Christ Genevieve! I’m fucking sorry! But you don’t make it easy for me sometimes— I feel like I’m always at a fucking arms length away from you even after 21 fucking years.” Anger shoots from his mouth like bullets, you’re not sure you’ve ever seen him like this, at least never towards you. “It’s a goddamn name! Gen, Eve, Genevieve— they’re all the fucking same!” 
“I-I’m sorry.” Tears prick at your eyes, you try your best to not let them fall— you’ll save them for when you’re alone in the safety of your new home. 
“Fuck! No, I’m sorry— shit! C’mere.”
Steve pulls you into him, his face hot against your cheek as he holds you close, the button down he’s wearing is drenched in sweat, there’s a slight tremble to the grip he has on you. 
“Are you okay?” You pull back to get a better look at him, beads of sweat glisten across his forehead, his cheeks flushed a bright red. 
“Yeah, just really fucking tired.” 
*CLICK*
“Hands where we can see them! Slowly, no fast movements!” A woman’s voice echoes through the air. 
Steve releases you from his arms, both of you slowly turning, arms raised up as you were told. 
There’s 5 of them, all on horses with their guns drawn in your direction. The woman seems to be in charge of the group, her horse placed a few feet in front of the others.
“We don’t mean no harm, we’re just trying to get to the settlement just over this mountain. You must be Maria? I was told you might greet us before we got there.” Steve says, keeping his tone even as explains himself. 
“Am I supposed to know who you are?” She asks, her expression still unreadable as she waits for Steve to respond. 
“No— you don’t, but I was told you would bring us the rest of the way in.” 
Maria takes a minute to decide whether she wants to believe Steve or not. 
“Scan them.” Looking back at one of the men behind her, nodding to where Steve and you are still standing with your arms raised. “I don’t care who you talked to, you get scanned before you come in.” 
The man grabs a device from his saddle pack, then makes his way towards you, the other 3 men’s guns still aimed, fingers hovering over their triggers. 
“Lady’s first.” The man states, placing the device on your neck, there’s a small zap to your skin when the scan is administered. 
“Green!” He shouts, holding the device up to show the green screen in Maria’s direction. 
You breathe a sigh of relief, even though you knew you were fine. 
Turning towards Steve, the man places the scanner on Steve’s neck, Steve’s eyes locking with yours as the man presses the designated button to conduct the virus scan. 
The man steps back quickly, a flash of red catches your attention. 
“RED!” He holds the device up. 
The other men direct their aim to Steve, his head hanging low and no sign of resistance to finding out he’s infected. 
“Steve! No— Tell them you’re not infected!” Insisting he speak up. “He’s not infected! Scan him again! Please!” You scream at the group, your voice straining as you plead with them to scan Steve again, convinced it was a bad read. 
“Please!! Scan him—“
“Genevieve— it’s not wrong.” Steve says. 
You turn to him, chest heaving and your throat burning from yelling, confused by what he’s saying.
“What? What do you mean it’s not wrong? You’re not infected Steve— you’re just tired, they need to scan you again!”
“I was bit.” 
You can feel the blood drain from your face as the words leave his mouth. Your brain takes a moment to register what he had said. 
Bit. 
Infected. 
“No— no! No, no no!”
“Genevieve—“
“W-when?”
“Last night, there was a runner that came out of one of the other cabins—“
Steve’s confession hits you like a ton of bricks in slow motion. You hate it and don’t want to believe a single thing he’s saying, because the reality is that this is where it ends for him— for you. 
The tears burn as they begin to stream down your face. 
“You didn’t say anything though—“
“I needed to get you here— I needed you to be safe.”
Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath, throwing yourself at him, anchoring your arms around his neck. 
“No! I can’t do this without you— I can’t lose you too!” 
“Yes, you can. You’re the bravest person I’ve known in a long time. You’re going to get there and you’re going to meet new people and you will be able to help out because that’s what you love— you love helping people and I love that about you. This is your chance to start over, to be happy— do that for me?” His hands cup your face so he can look at you, his eyes filled with tears as well. “Do me a favor, write me one of your letters— I want to know everything.”
You nod, unable to speak, the lump in your throat growing as your remaining time together dwindles away. 
“I love you, Genevieve.” His words muffled against your skin, leaving one last kiss on your forehead. 
“I love you, too.” You breathe out, your eyes closed savoring his soft touch one last time. 
“How long?” Maria asks Steve.
“Probably ‘nother hour left, give or take.”
“Alright Genevieve— you’re riding with me, hand your pack to one of my men. Andrew, you hang back with Steve— you know what to do.” Maria orders everyone. 
Wiping your tears before placing a kiss to Steve’s cheek, then turning to where Maria is waiting for you, handing your pack to one of her men. Maria leans down to grab onto your arm, as you hoist yourself up onto the backside of the horse. 
“Let’s head back.” Maria says, pulling the reins up and to one side to signal the horse to turn around, a click of her tongue has the horse moving forward in the direction of the settlement. 
You can’t bear to look back in Steve’s direction, not trusting yourself to not run back to him. 
Leaving him and knowing his fate is like reliving the same pain you endured 21 years ago. The outbreak takes everything from you for a second time. 
Your world shatters, crumbling as the horse carries you further and further from him. 
*BANG*
The sound ricochets out over the valley, your heart sinks as a new wave of tears silently fall. 
*
You don’t remember the entire ride to the settlement or how you ended up on the porch of a two story house. 
Maria had mentioned putting you up in her brother-in-law's converted garage, a small studio bedroom where those new to the settlement would stay while their permanent residence were being cleaned and prepped. She said it wasn’t anything special and you’d have to use the main houses kitchen and bathroom, but you’d have your own space in a few days— so interacting with a few strangers was the least you could do for the hospitality. 
You honestly didn’t care where she put you for the time being, the stables would have been enough, you just wanted to be alone. 
Glancing over your shoulder you see others moving about freely, children running about in the open, a stark contrast between what you had been so used to. 
There’s rows and rows of homes, a small town-like area, a community garden— this place was everything that Steve had described to you, he would have loved it. 
The opening of the front door pulls you back to the front porch where you’re standing with Maria. 
“We’ve got a newcomer, she’s going to stay here until we get a room ready down the street.” Maria explained to the young girl who is glaring at you. 
“Why do you keep bringing them here? This isn’t a shelter— can’t she stay somewhere else?”
“No, she can’t. This is Ellie, her bark is worse than her bite— she’ll grow on you. Ellie, this is Genevieve let’s let her get comfortable and situated— she just lost whom I’m assuming was her husband, so please make her feel welcomed.” Maria coerses Ellie into letting you stay, but you don’t miss the eye rolling throw your way. 
The home is spacious and inviting, you decide it’s far more comfortable than the stables would have been. 
“Ellie, can you grab Genevieve a glass of water please.” It’s more of a demand than an ask. “Here Genevieve, have a seat here at the table. I’m sure Ellie can make you something to eat if you’re hungry too.”
“So now we’re a shelter and we have room service? Her legs don’t seem broken to me—.” 
“Ellie, glass of water!”
The girl grunts something under her breath as she follows through with getting you water, you settle into a chair and try to not let the unwelcome feeling that’s been looming over you since you set foot in the house add to the pain that is still radiating through you. 
You wipe a few tears you hadn’t realized had fallen, a new wave of emotions hitting you, another moment of realization of Steve not being here with you like you had both talked about. 
“Is there anything else I can get you Genevieve?” Maria cautiously places a hand on your shoulder, you take it as her way of apologizing for your loss. 
“Umm, just my bag would be great and a shower would be nice.” You sniffle, ready to lock yourself away for the day, not wanting to be forced to have unwanted conversations with a teenager who already hates your new presence. 
“I’ll go grab your bag from the stables, then you can start getting settled.” She gives your shoulder a light squeeze before turning for the front door. “Ellie, be nice.”
A glass of water is placed in front of you, a few cubes of ice float around the clear liquid. You don’t even remember the last time you had enjoyed an ice cold drink. 
Ellie situates herself in the chair across from you, looking as if she wants to say something. 
“So— your husband is dead?” 14 years old and a great conversationalist. 
“No— y-yes.” Your chest aches at the mention of ‘your husband.’
“Well, that’s not confusing. So, did you watch him die?”
“Hmm?” 
“Your husband, did you watch your husband die?” She asks again. 
“N-no.”
“I’m all out of questions then.” She slinks back into her chair. 
You stare at the ice, almost half the size it was when it was placed in front of you. Wishing you could slowly melt away, become the nothingness you feel like. 
The front door swings open and closes with a gentle click, the clunking sound of boots makes the presence of whoever stepped into the house known. 
“Hey kid, sorry I’m late. Tommy wanted to get drinks after our patrol.” 
A deep husky voice permeates the room, its thick syrupy tone seeps into every little crevice of your memory, its familiarity prompting the goosebumps to form across your body. 
“I didn’t know we were having guests— this a new friend of yours?” He asks, his foot step getting closer to where you're still seated at the table, your back turned to him. 
“Fuck no! It’s one of Maria’s strays. Said she has to stay here until her room is available— which is bullshit if you ask me!” She spouts off, her annoyance very apparent. 
“Ellie, manners!” He grits out. 
You lift yourself from the chair, steadying your weak state on the table and chair as you turn in his direction. 
Your heart nearly stops the moment your eyes land on him— a ruggedness to him, his soft brown eyes filled with a darkness that comes with loss and sorrow, his dark locks and beard sprinkled with tuffs of gray, an overall hardness about him that hides his true self. 
“Joel?” Your eyes wide and filled with more tears, the name is barely a whisper as it falls into the air. 
“Eve?” A name he never thought he would say again. 
201 notes · View notes
eviesaurusrex · 2 years
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“ɪ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ.” | ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴘʜᴇᴜꜱ
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Lord Morpheus x Deity!Reader (Goddess of Nature and Music)
summary: After being killed by Roderick Burgess during her attempts to free her husband, YN returns to Morpheus shortly after he himself reincarnated (kind of pt. 2 to »this one«)
word count: 5k oooops…?
warnings: mentions of death, mentions of the Afterlife, reincarnation, angst, but super fluff, like, seriously, this is a fluffy cloud of cotton candy, Death, Lucienne, Mervyn, and Matthew as trusty wing people
author’s note: This idea is presented to you by a comment written by @writing-fanics under my first ever Morpheus work: “we meet him again but when he’s reincarnated as Daniel Hall 👉👈 that’s my headcannon to make me happy after reading this the third time”. I could not not write this one out after I succeeded in breaking my own heart with the first fanfic for my baby 🥺 We imagine that Morpheus looks the same and has kept every memory after his reincarnation, but they have to be triggered, thank you, bye
Disclaimer: I have never read the comics (yet), and I’m still watching season one, so this is just my take on it. Please, don’t come for my head, would be much appreciated 👉🏻👈🏻 But I deliberately changed the happenings of episode 1 in order to let my baby have his vengeance. So, that’s on purpose!
;
“Okay, scenario time,” Matthew’s voice reverberated through the soothingly lit library in the Dreaming and called Lucienne and Mervyn to attention. The librarian peeked expectantly over her round glasses while Merv turned away from the stack of books to eye the flying raven cautiously. Recently, the bird had acted weirdly every time he had returned from the Waking World, and every time it had gotten more and more concerning. “What is it this time, Matthew? The beheaded ghost of Anne Boleyn?” Lucienne exchanged glances with the pumpkin head, suppressing a barely noticeable grin before cocking both eyebrows at the black bird.
Matthew groaned—he wished he hadn’t spoken a word about that incident—but flapped his wings to detangle the ends of his feathers. He still wasn’t used to those either. “Very funny,” he seethed and tickled a rumbling chuckle out of the pumpkin’s mouth. Sometimes he wished he would’ve landed in hell instead of the presence of these two buttheads who never faltered to tease him. “Anyway,” the raven continued with a warning glare out of his black eyes, “Back to my totally hypothetical scenario. Is rebirth a thing? I’m still new to this stuff. Hadn’t had the time to read through every book.” To be quite honest, Matthew hadn’t touched a single book in here, not even those which Lucienne had put on a stack on one of the tables, just for him. He hadn’t been a big reader back in his days; he should be damned if he would start with it now.
Lost in his thoughts, Matthew didn’t realize the awful silence settling over the duo in front of him. Confused, he looked from one to the other. “What have I said or done now?!” Lucienne was the first to speak up. “Why are you asking, Matthew?” Her voice was laced with earnestness, and the raven stepped from one talon to the other. “No reason?” He didn’t sound convincing, even he heard that. “Matthew,” the librarian spoke in one of her warning tones, and the bird knew he couldn’t joke around anymore. “Fine! There is this teeny-tiny portrait Morpheus is carrying around with him. Like, all the damn time. And over which he is so protective, I wasn’t allowed to take a look or even ask him who that is. But…” Again, he stepped from one toe to the other before jumping from the stack of books he had landed on. “But?” Now even Mervyn urged him with the same unnerving tone Lucienne owned. “But a few weeks ago, he forgot to put it back in his pocket, and it lay open on one of the steps. So, yeah, I took a glance. Don’t give me that look, you two would have done the same!” Lucienne stood from her chair and moved closer to him. “Stop weaseling around the point, Matthew!”
The librarian knew whose features were depicted in the locket the lord carried around ever since Lucienne had handed it over to him. The thought alone of Lord Morpheus’ still lingering pain—even though he couldn’t put it to the proper memories connected to this feeling—made her heart ache as well—especially because she had known her as closely as one could know the former Queen of the Dreaming. They had considered each other dear friends, sharing the same passion for the written word and wisdom.
“Good lord, let me take a breather! Why are you so eager all of a sudden? Sheesh.” Her patience with this creature was almost depleted, and she would have loved to just shake a bit of sense into him. Instead, the librarian was content with using threatening words. “If you are not willing to tell me right in this instance what this nonsense is about, I will shake some sense into your feathery body!” Matthew stared up at her and took a small step back, putting some distance between them, but maneuvered him closer to Mervyn, who definitely wouldn’t help him if Lucienne decided to strangle the life out of him. “Okay, Okay! I’m sure I saw her wandering around in the Waking World! Happy?”
The bomb blew up and silence once more settled over the library. Lucienne continued to stare down at the raven, face unmoving and lacking any expression, while Mervyn plopped down onto one of the chairs standing next to the long wooden table. Matthew glanced from one to the other. “Why? Who is she? Someone important? Like his queen?” A chuckle escaped him at the thought of Morpheus being married and having a loving wife somewhere hidden in this palace. But at the sight of hurt and grief on the pumpkin’s face, even the cheeky raven grew quiet.
“She was his queen, yes,” Mervyn mumbled, leaning back in the chair. “She is his queen,” Lucienne corrected him, not having accepted the cruel fate her friend had endured. Merv sighed long and deep. “Her name was YN, and she was the only being he had ever wanted.” Matthew perked up. “YN as in YN, the Goddess of Nature and Music and all that?” Both nodded simultaneously. “She was killed by the same man who had captured our lord. And you are sure you saw her? Not some mortal only resembling her?” The raven nodded without a second thought after digesting the new information and the even more depressing backstory of his boss. “I’m pretty sure. She looked… lost. And I’m sure she saw me. Not only the raven but me.” And that had unsettled him so much that he had fled every time she had found him again. Yet, Matthew always returned to keep an eye on her, unable to stay away from her because somewhere deep down, he knew she was somehow different.
Lucienne exchanged glances with Mervyn. “Is it possible then?” The pumpkin head asked the librarian without hesitation, and she nodded equally as fast. “Reincarnation? Yes. Resurrection? Possibly? Death is the expert on the latter.”
And as if she had only waited for the perfect moment, Death of the Endless appeared in the middle of the library, displeasure evident on her face.
“Who of you found it screamingly funny to mingle with a soul?”
Now it was Matthew and Mervyn who exchanged glances before turning their eyes to Lucienne. “Seems likely possible,” the raven announced before the trio moved to look to the Endless, still waiting for an answer, arms crossed in front of her chest.
;
“Why the sudden need to visit the Waking World?” Morpheus’ soft voice asked Death, an edge of curiosity to it nonetheless, blue eyes resting on the passing people who didn’t heed the Endless’ existence nor presence entirely. His sister hummed shortly, but no word left her mouth—for now. Minutes passed by just like humans passed by. They stood on this spot on the street silently, right opposite a flourishing park, facing the lush green grass, the flower bushes, the high, looming, almost ancient trees.
“Death,” he warned lowly, not feeling pleased by this game she seemed to play with him. Impatience spread in his body, letting him experience the usual unresting feeling crushing into his muscles and bones, urging him to do anything. He had learned to despise this feeling. “The locket you carry.” Her sudden turn to face him surprised even him, and a black brow arched over his eye. “What about it?” He felt rather protective over the little piece Lucienne had handed him over, and he remembered the memory rising at the gesture vividly. The agony connected to it was something he had never experienced before. But instead of fading over time, it had manifested as a brick in his soul and heart; unwavering and unstoppable as soon as it once had taken hold of him.
Death observed him closely, witnessing the change in his eyes and the emotions dancing over his face. She was sure the memories were somewhere buried in his soul, and they only had to trigger them. It surprised her he didn’t unlock any of them at the first sight of her face after Lucienne had given him the small portrait right after he was reincarnated.
“You do know who she is, do you, brother?” Morpheus furrowed his forehead in concentration, trying to understand the meaning behind this—but a conclusion was nowhere to be seen. Death seemingly caught up to his train of thought because she slowly pointed in the direction of the blooming park opposite of them without letting him out of her sight. “I hope this will answer everything,” she mumbled, watching Morpheus as he slowly turned his head to watch the greenery and people passing. It was nothing out of the ordinary to see.
Not until she stepped out of the shadow of a willow tree into the beaming sunlight.
She strolled through the grass seemingly without a care in the world, face held upwards in the direction of the warming sun, eyes closed. He somehow knew that they were of an ever-changing color, always capturing him, even after eons of being his companion as soon as he had stepped into a room she had occupied, following him with an expression he only could describe as never-ending and undying love.
Morpheus could feel how his heart ached bitterly and agonizingly at the sight of her.
He watched her fingertips dance over flowers in full bloom, tickling an even brighter color out of their petals which stretched desperately in the direction of her life-gifting touch, craving her attention, constantly repositioning to her, as if she was the compass they had searched for decades without success. As if she was the sun to the sunflower in them. But not only the flowers reacted to her; even the grass seemed more green and lush in its color.
Morpheus wasn’t able to take his eyes off her—neither physically nor mentally. Not with the deeply felt emotions crashing against the high walls around his mind like a strong and wild tide, resembling her being. She might look like the damsel in distress, but all of a sudden, the Lord of Dreams knew with shocking clarity that she was anything but the damsel in desperate need of an assisting hand. And not just that.
He knew her.
A change within him followed this realization.
He felt the moment in which every single memory returned to his soul unscathed. Morpheus could flick through them like the pages of a book, and every picture was as clear as the sky of the Waking World above his head. He could remember their wedding vividly—remembered her smile as radiant as the stars above them while they promised to protect, cherish, and love one another.
Forever.
Whatever might lay ahead of them on their path through the centuries and eons.
Both brows softly rose over the pair of eyes, always lacking something in their depths which they held once without any doubt. The spark was there again, though—Death could see it clearly, could even feel it. The stars inside the blue seas attempted to return, but the hesitation of the Endless still too powerful to let them have their way.
Morpheus watched the woman, the goddess, his wife, with growing desperation from afar, feeling agitated. His only desire was to cross the street, to put the humans in his line of sight and Death behind him, wanted to pull her into his arms after he had stopped right in front of her. He wanted to see her face, to hear her voice, to feel her soft touch which had always reminded him of water gliding over stone, of a breeze caressing through the tall-growing grass and wheat in the Dreaming, of raindrops stealing daringly kisses and touches of petals and leaves.
He wanted everything from her she once had given him without so much as a fleeting thought.
Unbeknownst to himself, the King of the Dreaming and Lord of Dreams had taken a step closer to his very own dream, not paying any attention to his sister in his back or the raven that had landed on a branch next to the goddess. His black eye observed his boss looking dumbfounded over at the woman who resembled the most beautiful blooming flower ever seen by mortals and otherworldly beings.
And though she was above the Waking World, once a ruler of the Dreaming itself, she slowly sank down in front of a little girl, a tender expression settling on her face. The girl held a dying flower in her open palms; the stem snapped off the remaining plant and looked equally as crushed as the petals. Matthew smiled—as good as possible as a bird—at the picture of her softly raising her hand and returning the flower to its once beautiful existence, making the girl giggle and smile widely. YN smiled back—Morpheus felt as if his heart missed several beats at once—before resting a finger against her lips, and the girl nodded in understanding before rushing over to her mother, showing her newest possession proudly.
She raised back to her feet, and without a glance over her shoulder, she spoke up. “You can come out, raven, whose name I still do not know.” Matthew felt exposed but followed her words and landed softly on her shoulder. “Goddess,” he mumbled, and YN chuckled gently. “Ah, I see. And there I was, wondering why you did not leave just yet. Someone told you, I suppose?” He was able to take a glimpse of her eyes, and the raven would have to lie if he told the world they weren’t as mesmerizing as Lucienne had described them to him. Nodding, the raven made himself a bit more comfortable on her shoulder—if he had to choose, he would take her shoulder over his boss’s every time. He hoped no one would ever find out about that. A heavy sigh left her parted lips. “Then you surely must know that I am of no use anymore.”
Ever since she had awoken in the Waking World, YN had tried to find a way back into the Dreaming, back home. Before her—obviously not definitively—death, she had had the powers to come and go as she had pleased, but now, all there was left was silence and coldness. She couldn’t even feel the Dreaming anymore, which only let appear one conclusion in the front of her mind, and she didn’t dare to think about it further. In the first hours and days of her awakening, she had cried enough tears to form an entirely new river—unpurposely, of course.
Matthew cocked his head and tried to stare into her eyes. “No use?! What are you talking about? I call bullshit.” YN now herself cocked her head, mirroring the raven on her shoulder what he didn’t like, but was humored nonetheless. “So, you are a funny one. That did not happen in a very long time. Usually, ravens tend to be so earnest.” The raven had to chuckle at that. “I’m unique. But stop honey-ing me, missy! Care to enlighten me why you think you are useless?”
Now, every lightness was gone from her face, eyes, and body language. He could feel her muscles tense under his talons. “I cannot return. I cannot return to the Dreaming, not even after offering my powers. I cannot feel it.” I cannot feel my home, she thought to herself before continuing. “And if I cannot feel the Dreaming, the only possible reason is…” YN couldn’t speak it out loud but had to, so she took a breath. “The only reason is that he is dead. And without him, I cannot return home.” I do not wish to return home. Because what was a never-ending existence without the one she loved more than every flower, leaf, and music tune?
Matthew raised his head slowly, looking from the profile of her breathtakingly face over to his boss, still standing there like a damn tree growing roots. He saw how Death softly nudged him in their direction, and if he had a saying in this, he would’ve shoved him like there would be no tomorrow. Instead, he himself gently nudged her jaw to make YN turn her head. “But what if he is still here?” Matthew asked at the exact moment her eyes had found the man of her dreams.
And suddenly, everything stopped. There was no movement, no breathing life, no growing life. Only stasis. Except for them. In a very long time, YN hadn’t felt this much alive, not even in the wake of her awakening a handful of months back.
Morpheus could see the movement of her lips, letting no sound escape them—the sight of it brought him back to the memory of her last breath he had been damned to only observe instead of trying to save her. But other than a century before, she didn’t lose the spark of life in her eyes, didn’t go limp, didn’t show any signs of injuries or blood consuming the fabric of her clothes before it dripped onto the grass beneath her feet.
No, she was the epitome of life, and her light fueled him with something he hadn’t felt in a very long time: Hope. Happiness. Love. And he should be damned if he didn’t get to her only because he feared that this was his very own nightmare which he had conjured himself to torture his already tortured soul. He couldn’t lose her a second time. He wouldn’t lose her a second time.
With slow steps, even though he ached to stride over to her as fast as possible, he put the grey world behind him and stepped into the green paradise he yearned to have back in his life, in the Dreaming. His realm wasn’t itself, not without its queen. The soothing calm wrapped itself around him and his mind, caressing him softly with every step he took. It resembled her touch, but he knew that her skin against his was something even more glorious and ethereal. Something divine beyond comprehension.
None of them broke the contact of their gazes; they revolved around one another like planets in the grand universe, interdependent, as if one was the source of gravity of the other. Morpheus wasn’t sure if he should reach for her, if he should let his fingertips glide up her bare arm. But she took the burden of said decision upon herself as YN reached out for him, desperation and fear written all over her beautiful face, crystal tears burning in her eyes which just changed their color from the light blue of a summer sky to the evergreen of a dark forest. He felt as if his heart stopped beating entirely the moment the tips of her fingers were able to reach the back of his hand.
Both sucked a deep breath into their lungs, and while YN’s lips softly parted in utter surprise, Morpheus’ steps faltered. Inches still separated the couple, but he slowly turned his hand under her fingertips, moving it to let his palm face upwards, to feel her touch there because he suddenly remembered particular scenes throughout their existence. He was faced with the feeling of tender touches and the feeling of home; her fingertips following and drawing the lines on his palm, always while they lay together in their shared bed during the early morning hours, before she would press a feathery kiss to it and laid his hand atop her cheek to close her eyes for only a few more minutes. He felt the adoration swirling through him, knew that he had craved those moments every morning—even after centuries, after eons of their loving routine.
And even now, after everything that had happened to both of them, Morpheus felt his heart jumping in his chest as YN let her fingers glide over the upwards-facing palm. He watched her as closely as she watched him, her touch moving over the tender skin of his wrist before they lost contact again due to the fabric parting her touches from him. The woman in front of him took a last step in the same heartbeat as he took his last step toward her, not holding back anymore.
His hands cupped her neck lovingly, his long, elegant fingers reaching to the back of her head, his thumbs tenderly brushing over the line of her jaw. In the same instance, YN had buried the fingers of her left hand into the fabric of his black coat while her right hand cupped his cheek, the pad of her thumb caressing the skin above his cheekbone. Their gazes were still connected, diving into the deep seas, yearning for every emotion swimming in those dark pools.
“Morpheus.”
Her unbelieving whisper of his name—as if it was a prayer—was his downfall. Without wasting another second, another breath, another heartbeat, the Lord of Dreams bent his head and eyes closed at the mere anticipation before their lips collided in softness and loving movements. The desperation and urgency needed to wait for a different moment in the confinements of their private rooms in the Dreaming. Their passion had never been secondary, they had always heavily indulged in it, even if the timing was anything except perfect, but now, neither of them could think about something more important as the realization that this wasn’t another dream—or nightmare—that this was reality instead.
The reassurance of this fact in the form of tender kisses they shared without stopping to take a deep breath was more than enough. But even they had to part at some point—foreheads softly pressed against one another, fingers tangled in silky strands, chests fitting perfectly together, eyes still closed, savoring this existence-altering moment.
“I thought…—” YN’s voice was quiet, breathless, filled with fear and agony. She didn’t need to complete the sentence because he figured what she was trying to say. So all he did first was move his head to press a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I am here,” he whispered against her skin, feeling her body relax under his hands. He would never leave her again or let her leave, even if he had to fight every single creature the world had to offer. “I… I am…” YN’s mumbling almost got lost between the shake of her voice and Morpheus wrapped his arms around her, pressed a hand to the small of her back while the other buried itself in her long curls, pulling her closer to his chest, enveloping his wife in the most protective hug. “Do not apologize. There is nothing to apologize for, love. I am just glad I have gotten you back, gotten another chance to spend eternity with you. I am beyond grateful to finally have you in my arms again where you belong, my dream.” His whispering was as tender as the leaves around them, and YN felt her heart flutter like an excited bird shortly before it rose into the sky at the sound of the endearment reserved explicitly for her.
YN let her eyes fall shut, savoring the long-missed and lost feeling of his incredibly soft lips, remembering the Afterlife filled with the same sensation but different all at once. It had been insipid; a weak, dull equivalent to his counterpart in reality, and she had missed him there even more fiercely as if it would have been the case if the Afterlife hadn’t been so cruel to her soul.
Her fingers tenderly caressed through his night black strands, hearing and feeling him sigh in utter contentment. “Morpheus,” she whispered his name again, this time with her lips almost at his—already touching them with every syllable of his name. “I told you I would find you.” The corner of her mouth slowly raised at his deep but quiet chuckle, feeling his arm wrapping tighter around her, pulling her even closer to him, if that was even possible. Their eyes met again after a short but equally as lovingly, and heartwarming kiss as the ones before, and the Lord of Dreams pushed a curl behind her ear, caressing her cheek with his knuckles. YN looked up to him almost pleadingly, even though they both knew that Morpheus could never refuse anything his wife asked of him.
“Bring me home.”
;
Morpheus had his eyes closed, breathing slowly, while every sensation was heightened, beginning with the familiar heavy feeling of her head lying on his shoulder and ending with the tickling touch of YN’s fingertips following slowly and reverently the lines in his right palm. They lay like this since they returned to the Dreaming, immediately strolling through the palace and into their rooms, ignoring everyone around them, only having eyes and a place in their minds for each other.
They had to wait if they wanted to see their queen again. It was his turn now.
“What happened?”
Her voice was as soft as it usually was but held an edge of curiosity and resentment. Her fingers didn’t stop even as YN turned her head to look up into his face, and the man opened his eyes to watch her, though he felt the memory rising behind his eyes and in the front of his mind, unable to unsee it. And she had a right to know.
His hand, which had rested on her bare shoulder where he had caressed her skin with tender strokes, moved up to her head and started to brush through her hair. It had always soothed him and his mind, and he felt relief flowing through him at the realization that it was still the case. “It took a century before I was able to escape, but… I could not leave without seeking vengeance for what he did. Not to me, but you.” YN was quiet, but her eyes told him she listened intently to his every word. So he continued. “My ruby brought him immortality for the time in his possession, and it was the first thing I took back from him. I watched him starting to wither in his sleep, knowing that his dream had changed with the sensation of something happening to him. I waited until he awoke, waited until he realized it was my doing, and watched with satisfaction the moment he realized his end was coming. I promised him eternal torture and started with it myself.”
Morpheus knew that he had been cruel to this human, but he also knew that he wasn’t as cruel as he should’ve been.
YN stopped caressing his palm, and the Endless watched her face, not moving his gaze, not even as he felt her hand move upwards to cup his jawline. He slowly let his eyes fall shut only at the feeling of her thumb brushing over the skin of his cheek, leaning his face into the touch he had longed for over a century. “I really thought I could save you, my love,” she whispered and leaned her forehead against the other side of his face, nuzzling her nose against the skin of his neck. Morpheus pressed a loving kiss to her hairline. “I know, my dream.” He fell silent for a moment before speaking up again—pain audible in his voice. “Do not dare and try it again. Will you promise me that? I cannot watch you die right in front of me again. I would not survive it.”
His queen softly pushed herself up with a hand resting on his chest, right above his strong beating heart. Her eyes—morphing from an emerald green to the shades of the morning sky after the night retreated—watched him with the softest expression while she nodded, barely visible. “Will you promise me not to find yourself in situations and positions which require my unintentional sacrifice again?” A smile started to tuck at the corner of his lips, and YN gently chuckled at the sight of it. “I will promise you that, my Queen,” Morpheus smiled nonetheless up at her, covering the hand still resting over his heart with his own.
He looked down at the missing feeling of something pressing against his palm. YN seemed to notice his changing expression and looked at her bare ring finger as well. “I woke up without it,” she whispered, sadness etched into her tone at the memory of the missing ring her husband had given her. It had been the most beautiful ring ever made, decorated with two beautiful gemstones—a dark blue sapphire, reminding her of his eyes, and the other the darkest emerald ever seen because it had been the color of her eyes at their first encounter. YN didn’t know where it vanished.
He got a hold of her bare hand and pressed her fingertips onto his lips to pepper gentle kisses on them. “I will make you a new one,” he vowed with the soft tone reserved entirely for her ears.
But he didn’t need to because only a moment after the words had left his mouth, a knock interrupted their peace and tranquillity. YN was quick on her feet and crossed the grand room to open the door, facing a wide-eyed Lucienne. “My Queen,” she bowed her head, but both women searched for their hands, and YN gently squeezed her friend’s fingers. “Lucienne,” she smiled, and the librarian couldn’t contain her smile as well. “I apologize for the intrusion, but Death found something I suspect you missed.” And with that, she opened her other hand in which laid, atop a velvet piece of fabric, her missing ring. “Where…?” Her friend only shrugged gently. “She didn’t tell us.” Nodding, YN took the ring and pressed it against her chest. “Thank you, Lucienne.” Her voice was laced with joy and longing, and the librarian bowed again. “I will leave you, but don’t hesitate to visit the library. The books miss you dearly.” With that, Lucienne turned and left, and the woman closed the door again and walked back to the bed with Morpheus still atop the covers.
She opened her hand after settling back on the mattress next to him, letting him see the ring resting on her palm, and the Lord of Dreams smiled down at it. He took the delicate jewelry between his fingers and slowly pushed it back into its place, back home on her finger, so everyone could see to whom she belonged—though nobody in the Dreaming needed a reminder of that.
“Welcome home,” Morpheus mumbled, lips against lips, and enveloped his wife once again in his loving embrace to hold her as close as possible, not thinking about letting her leave his arms anytime soon.
;
Okay, so, I hate the end, but I’m really bad at writing endings naturally, so we have to deal with this one. Hope y’all enjoyed it tho :3 As usual: Comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated! <3
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imdoingsortagay · 1 year
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Seek & Destroy
Summary: Fueding with your former friend on the biggest sports entertainment show and it all explodes after an especially intense match
A/n: So I used to be a big fan of WWE as a kid but recently I got back because of Rey Mysterio vs his son( still mad he lost lol), Rhea, and of course Becky mf Lynch, the list goes on. and I write this to mix my two favorite things ever.
Word Count: 5k words
Warnings: Some smut but not alot, use of the word puppy, Natasha being a dick, wrestling, Kate is the best bestie ever
Smut below so 18+, minors do not interact, Happy reading besties please like and reblog!!!
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“ you and Kate are going against Hill and Romanoff tonight”.
Not how you wanted this Monday night show to go. Both of you had just gotten back from doing a couple of live shows out of state, Kate wanted to use today to rest up but it seems like Danvers has other plans for the two of you.
“After the mess that was Super Slam Danvers? Are you insane?” 
“ just cause Bishop almost got her arm broken by Hill doesn’t mean we can’t move yours and the shields plot forward,” Carol tells you,” now go out with Bishop for your segment before I get mad”. 
You dramatically exit her office, earning a chuckle from the older woman as Kate spots you and walks along with you to get to the ring.
“ so are we - “ 
“ going against Romanoff and Hill? Yeah, we are Kate,” you say unenthusiastically. All you wanted was a moment where you didn’t have to fight the group, talk about them when doing side commentary every once in a while or have to see their stupid faces.
Sure you were thankful for the airtime as it gave you more opportunities out of Wwe but it would always involve you and Natasha’s mysterious past that everyone and their mother wanted to know about. Natasha would do her part and you would do the same to ensure nobody knew about it since at the end of the day, it’s nobody’s business but each other's. 
“ So that means we’re going after Rodgers and Barnes? ” Kate says happily.
The Devil works hard but Carol fucking Danvers works harder in the placement of matches as the crowd is at its most intense after Steve and Bucky go on. You had to give her credit for that at least even in your annoyed mood.
“Something about making the crowd go crazy before the main event as mine and the Shields current furred which I get but I just wanted a chill day today Bishop,” you groan,” why can’t I ever get that after doing a couple of lives shows as well?”
“ awe does the little puppy want a break ?” 
Both you and Kate turn around to see Natasha and Maria appear, dressed and ready to fight against the two of you.
“ Romanoff I didn’t even call your name why the fuck did you appear?” You say as Kate tries to put space between all of you.
“ Just wanted to see the little puppy before me and Hill here smush you two like bugs,” she tells the two of you before Kate starts to giggle out of nervousness.
“ shouldn’t you be practicing then Romanoff instead of being a rude bitch ?” Kate speaks up. 
“ maybe your guard should shut up before I shove my foot up her -“ 
“ Natasha how about we both go before Carol throws a fit about how you aren’t using this anger out on the ring,” Maria steps in before Kate ends up getting hurt again,” ladies, good luck out there in the ring.”
She might have to play your enemy on camera but she was always professional for the most part which you liked about her.
Why couldn’t Natasha be the same? 
“ so they want to recruit you straight out of college then?” 
“Apparently they saw some of my matches here and wanted me to head straight to Wwe as I’d be wasting time at NXT,” Natasha explains as the two of you sat in her parent’s backyard, enjoying the warm summer weather before school starts again.
Both of you were long-life wrestling fans, it was the start of your friendship when Natasha had seen one of your Wwe shirts and the rest was history.
“ They saw you fighting Jones then? Please tell me they had Melina explain that Jones is hard to keep,” you tell her, wondering if maybe they had caught you in action as well. It was a long shot but it would be amazing if the both of you went together to achieve both of your dreams.
“ Apparently Danvers used to know Alexi and had come a couple of times on her own so she must know,” Natasha says,” should I take it, babe?” 
“ Natasha,” you start off,” this is the opportunity of a lifetime, go do it”.
.
“ you ready to beat Romanoff and her henchwoman?” Kate asks as you stand by the entrance, not long before both of you are set to go out. The crowd was buzzing with joy and excitement all around about the match that was about to happen while all you wanted to do was rest up after the last show.
“ The following contest is scheduled for one fall,” you hear the announcer start,” introducing first to the ring, they are the tag team duo of Hawkette and the Enchanter!!!!!!!!!” 
All your tiredness goes away as the both of you run out, the crowd going wild as you make your way to the ring, ready to beat the two other women to a pulp. As Kate goes around the ring greeting a couple of fans, you head to the ring and see that 1/3 of the Shield next to the commentator's table, Wanda Maximoff, or what she’s better known in the WWE universe as the Harbinger of Chaos. 
Being brought onto the red brand about 2 years ago as a rookie who brought chaos everywhere she went. It only took about 9 months before Natasha had recruited her to be in her trio and since then, they’ve been unstoppable. You had some worry in the back of your mind as to why she’s here but push it off as Kate makes her way to the ring, choosing to do some stretches as they announce the next two up to the ring. 
Right as the first note of Detrone by Bad Omens play and Smoke appears, everyone in the stadium goes crazy. If there were a contest between the both of you to see who’d get more cheers, the redhead would very much win easily.
“ And their opponents, 2/3 of the Sheild, Black Widow, and Commander Hill!!!!!!!” 
Kate rolls her eyes as they slowly make their way to the ring, Natasha keeping eye contact with you to intimidate you which makes the crowd around you go crazy. Twitter must be going crazy right now that’s for fucking sure.
“ Ready to kick the Widows ass ?” Kate yells as the two other women approach the ring. 
“ I was born ready,” you yell back.
Natasha whispers something in Maria’s ear before jumping into the ring, Kate gets out of the ring. The redhead takes off her jacket to show her dark red gear, making a point to show off her arms to the camera while you roll your eyes again at her antics.
Once the shield's entrance songs stop and the bell goes off, you waste no time trying to punch her but failing. 
“C'mon puppy you can’t beat the black widow so easily,” she yells as she easily has you pinned,” give up now “.
“ Never,” she hears you yell before you get out of her pin, not even getting to two before you escape and quickly tap in Kate to come to wrestle her for a bit. Natasha stays on the ring floor shocked before she’s met with Kate’s fist from behind her.
18 minutes pass before it’s you and Natasha yet again, your opponent a little sore from the power move that Kate had done on her earlier. A good moment to get the Widow when she’s down for you to do the pin. 
“Let's go y/n” you hear the stadium cheer as the widow yells in frustration before she tried to lift you up but you’re one second ahead of her, punching her in the gut to let you go.
“ Awe isn’t the big bad widow gonna beat her puppy?” You yell at her.
“ Not a fucking chance you bitch,” she retorts back when you manage to push her away. All this time where she’s caused both of you trouble and annoyance, beating her winning streak would bump her down a peg.
2 minutes of failed pins from Natasha before she’s distracted by a fan yelling straight-up nonsense at her, using the opportunity to kick her leg and making her fall. One more kick to her leg before quickly climbing to the top of the ropes and ending the match with a frog splash, and pinning Natasha down. Natasha tries her best to fight the grip you have on her.
“ Here are your winners, Hawkette and the Enchantor”, you hear them announce. Kate runs up to you and the both of you cheer as the rest of the stadium goes wild that the Black Widows streak has been beaten after all this time. You and Kate focus on the enormous win, not before Wanda jumps in the rings and pulls away Kate from your arms.
“  MAXIMOFF GET BISHOP,” Natasha yells at her team member before you dodge one of her hits and chaos ensues. Soon both of are struggling between the group of three, not before another of your friends, Monica Rambeau shows up to even the odds.
“ EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT,” the widows order as her 2 members are able to leave, and not before you, Monica, and Kate get to her.
“WHOS THE PUPPY NOW BITCH?” You scream as Kate and Monica help you attack her before the redhead leaves, her other two teammates at the entrance who run to their leader's aid.
“ you know that she’s gonna want a rematch?” Monica asks while you’re all on commercial and heading back to the locker rooms.
“ Not like I can say no after the reaction we got from you showing up Lieutenant Trouble,” you respond back while Kate chuckles. All your tag team partner hopes that it’s not a tag team match this time.
“ Danvers is definitely gonna make it a 1 on 1,” Monica pauses,” No offense Bishop”.
“ As long as I don’t have to be super kicked by Hill I don’t fucking care,” Kate says as the three of you walk into the locker room and no sight of your coworker. Her two members are here, just talking.
“ Where’s the Widow ?” Kate asks the two women.
“ she’s getting checked out in the medic area for a bruise,” Wanda starts off,” she’s pissed at y/n as per usual but I wanted to say overall a fun match to watch”.
“ I’m sorry you couldn’t fight against us,” Kate tells her and goes to start a convo with the other woman. While you all had to act like enemies, behind the camera you all had pretty good friendships.
Besides you and Natasha but you’ve gotten used to that at this point.
“ Honey, you do know that someday you gotta squash this beef with Romanoff before it gets worse?”
“ I’m trying,” you groan in annoyance as you change out of your gear, happy that you have a good 4 days to rest before the next live show.
“ well then how about you be good for me and try harder then?” Monica asks you in a sweet tone.
The universe seems to be against you as Natasha walks in right as Monica says that, the other three women walking out sensing the tension in the air. Honestly, it was a smart move as you wanted to do the same.
“ Wow look at you two lovebirds,” Natasha says in a bitter tone as she makes her way to her locker, trying so hard to not limp in front of you to show any weakness. You and Monica roll your eyes at the antics of the redhead near you.
“ Is someone jealous they don’t get any pussy, Romanoff ?” Your friend tells her in a mocking tone.
“At least I can go to a bar and get pussy easily with my charm Rambeau, it’s  not like I need to buy someone drinks just to “
“ How about you be a woman and talk shit to my face Widow before I show you who-“ Monica says before you step in and take the slap for your friend as you do owe her.
“ y/n,” Monica yells as she checks up on you and Natasha stands there in disbelief. It’s her job to fight you weekly, throw punches at you on the ring yet the slap that she gave you made her feel nervous. 
“ oh oh oh my fuck shit bitch,” Natasha goes on as she leaves the locker room and Kate runs into the rescue. She helps you to a chair as the medic comes to check up on how you’re doing, especially after the grueling match that occurred earlier. 
They clear you to go back to the hotel room, sweet Kate being the amazing best friend that she is being you to your room with all the stuff you need to rest before you slowly drift off to sleep.
The rest of the week went by quickly as you found yourself doing interviews with some of the other wrestlers, participating in some Instagram lives for the Wwe account, working, doing the live show, and whatnot.
Natasha had seen you a couple of times throughout the week too but she still seemed to have that mean, cold attitude to everyone. You aren’t surprised as she was like that when you first got here.
Not long before you found yourself back at Monday night raw again, this time the show being in New York, prepared for your rematch with Natasha who chose to go out first to hype up the crowd. Carol had found it odd that the Widow wanted to do this but placed her to go first while you stood by the entrance by your best friend hyping you up. 
“ Is my best friend gonna kick ass ?” 
“ yea, I am Kate !” You exclaim.
“ make that crowds Monday ?” 
“ Kick then widows sorry-“ 
“ y/n on in 15 seconds,” you hear the tech guy announce, Kate finishing the rest of her pep talk as the both of you.
“ And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by Hawkette,  the Enchantor!!!” And as always you smile at the crowd’s reaction, loving how they always go crazy. Natasha rolls her eyes from the ring as your entrance song continues, thinking of how to beat you.
“ Hold my hand,” Kate yells at you, wasting no time questioning her as she holds your hand and spins you around for everyone to see. The Albany crowd goes crazy at this little move and you can just see all the gays on Twitter going crazy. If you had to be honest, it was fun pissing off Natasha and making the fans happy.
Meanwhile, your opponent felt a little jealous that your tag team member decided it would be cute to hold your hand. Deep down she knew that Carol never told her to do that to hype up the crowd. Kate wanted to make the redhead jealous, which only helped to fuel her jealousy of the younger woman.
“ let’s go y/n”, your best friend tells you, walking hand in hand to the ring as the fans try to give you a pep talk or scream about how they want you. Kate decides to high-five with fan, and take pictures aside you before she walks you up to the ring to head to the commentator's table, giving another thumbs up as you jump in.
“ Look like the puppy doesn’t have her guard to protect her huh?” She mocks.
“ I could say the same about you widow, both of your goons seem to not be here,” you spit back which earns a dirty from the woman across from you.
“ I want a clean fight, no funny business,” you hear the ref tell you before the bell rings and the match commences.
You easily dodge the first punch that the redhead throws at you, opting out the move away which earns a groan from your opponent.
“ How about you be a good pup and give up? Give the fans what they want. She yells back as the crowd is going wild.
“ Don’t be a wuss Widow,” you talk back before kicking her leg,” use that anger that you have in that body of yours and fight me “.
Natasha had been trained by the Eradicator herself right before she had retired, so giving into your opponent's tricks was not in the game today.
The match seemed to go on forever as both of you tried to pin each other to get it over with. Natasha not even making it to 3 before you jump away from her. Or managing to punch her in the face to lose her deadly grip on top of your body as the crowd around you watched in anticipation.
Looking around, one of the cameramen gives the signal that the match is almost over. Right as you try your last move, Natasha uses this opportunity to kick one of your legs causing you to fall down. The stadium goes wild as you groan in pain from the hard kick, but not even get a second to rest as Natasha uses her mentor's most famous finisher on you.
Everyone at that moment screams like crazy as she grabs your exhausted body, throwing it on the ring floor and bending your legs for her to be on top of you. The match is over right away as the ring goes off but Natasha takes a couple more seconds to stay in the position as a way to taunt you and your best friend watching.
“ Here is your winner,” the announcer starts,” Natasha Romanoff, THE BLACK WIDOW”. 
The woman above you gets off of you but not before delivering one more insult to you as she grabs your chin so she can maintain eye contact with your tired body.
“ Never mess with the black widow puppy, or else you’ll feel my full wrath,” she tells you and shoves your body away. Kate jumps straight into the ring to check up on you as the other woman’s theme song is playing while the crowd chants her name. 
“ ALL RIGHT TO COMMERCIAL,” one of the cameramen says as Kate gently grabs your body, careful as to not ignore you more. You don’t even realize when you’ve somehow made it back to the locker room and Kate it out of her gear into casual clothes while you are still in yours.
“ How long was I out?” You as the woman sitting in front of you.
“ An hour,” she tells you handing you her bottled water,” Danvers wanted me to say good match and that you should check Twitter when you’re back at the hotel”. 
“ wow gotta love that,” you say sarcastically which earns a chuckle from Kate.
“ you need help getting up y/n?” 
While you would gladly not need it, Kate takes your tired look as a yes as she helps you up and helps you out of your gear. All you want to do right now is head back to the hotel, eat the snacks you have there, and sleep for the rest of the night.
“ I’m gonna take you back to the Hotel, and you have mine or Monica’s number if anything happens to you,” Kate tells you as the both of you head out of the locker room.
“ Bishop!” You both hear someone say and slowly turn around to see Bucky, workout bag with him. Coming at the right time as your friend almost drops your tired body and he offers to carry you to the front of the stadium so the three of you can wait for the ride back to the hotel.
You don’t even realize that Bucky and Kate had dropped you back to your hotel until hours later til you get up and find yourself back in the room with a note next to the nightstand.
Have a good night x, text me if you need anything- Tag Team member <;3 
Ps. Bucky said you owed him >:(
“ let me get my phone,” you say to yourself and go to check what Kate is up to.
Y/n : I owe Bucky ??????
Kate bait: I might have asked him to carry you back 
Y/n: 🤨🤨🤨
Kate: to be fair he was there and I took the opportunity 🙄
Y/N: only cause you wanted more info on Wanda ????? Lil fruity if you ask me 
Kate : my bad I have a crush on her but I got her number from him tho 
Y/N: let’s fucking goooooooooo , get that girl Kate.
She deserves to find a girl, lord knows the shit you’ve gone through together since she joined the red brand.
Right as you are about to call her, someone comes knocking at your door and you wonder who might be here at this time.
“ Kate I’m fine go and get with the girl lord knows you -“ and you’re met with the woman from earlier, no gear, a blank expression in her casual clothes.
“ I’m not Kate puppy,” she teases before you try to slam the door in her face. Forgetting that she’s a strong woman the moment her foot blocks the door.
“ You know that all this puppy shit is annoying right Romanoff?” You start to tell her as she closes the door, unsure of what her motives are at this moment.
“ I’ve had a busy couple of weeks and I don’t need to deal with your ass coming here after the finisher you decided to use earlier-“ 
“ shut up,” she tells you, wasting no time in pushing you towards the bed,” I’m stressed and if I remember correctly, you’re the last person I’ve fucked since joining here.
“ no way-“ 
“ a good puppy follows their Mistress's order,” she says to you and shoves 2 fingers in your mouth”. 
“ you wanna help me destress puppy?” She asks while you suck on your fingers and you nod enthusiastically.
“ I need your word,” she says to you.
“ yes I do,” and the woman on top of you wasted no time in kissing you, mind all over the place with the past few weeks. Both her other friends are out drinking, work being busy and she just needs to fuck someone til she’s tired.
“Be a good puppy for me and lick my pussy baby,” she orders as she gets off of you to take her shorts along with her underwear off. Laying right in the middle of the bed where you quickly follow. 
It might have been a couple of years since the last time you both fucked but you still remember how to turn her into mush with your pussy eating skills. You can see how wet and puffy her pussy was in front of you, no doubt she had tried to make herself cum and failed.
“ stop looking at my pussy like a dumb puppy and lick-“ she orders before letting out a loud moan when you lick a long strip of her cunt. 
“ fuck this is good,” she whines, trying her hardest not to break from being in control of you. 
All this time she’s been in control and there was no way that you’d remember how to get her mind all empty. Yet the woman above you didn’t expect you to move your right hand away from her thigh and go straight for one of her tits under her shirt.
“ focus on my -
“ shut the fuck up you slut,” you say as you remove your mouth from her soaked cunt. You use the opportunity to sit on top of her and shove your wet fingers into her mouth. Natasha easily takes them in like the good girl that she was for you all those years ago. 
“ is the big bad Black Widow submitting to her puppy???” She hears you say in a taunting tone. 
All the woman under you can do is nod her head as she continues to taste herself on your fingers, her brain going empty at being called a slut by you.
“Maybe I should punish my needy slut for thinking she can come in all tough,” you say as you lightly slap her wet cunt,” for acting like she’s the one in control”.
“ no m’ control,” she moans out as you slap her pussy yet again,” I’m not the puppy here”. 
“ Natty baby,” you say in a mocking tone as you slap her wet pussy,” I can see how hard you work out there. I know that you just want to submit to daddy like old times”. 
“ just say the words and Daddy will fuck your pretty pussy til you can’t think “ you whisper in her ear.
“ is my slut gonna be a good girl for her daddy or be left to have her make herself cum huh needy kitten ?” 
“Please Daddy,” she whines,” wanna be your mindless kitten”.
“ then how about you spread those pretty legs for me so I can eat you out,” you say as she rids herself off her shirt, a bit of a shock that the woman isn’t wearing a bra.
“Be a good girl and get those pretty legs spread for Daddy okay?” And without another word, she opens her legs, pussy wet and puffy from earlier.
You waste no time in going back to licking her cunt, wrapping your arms around her thighs while she stands perfectly still. While all her mind wants to do is move her hands to your hair but instead, she decides to pull at her nipples along with let out the prettiest moans. 
“ M gonna cum Daddy,” she announces,” can I cum please-“ 
“ Be a good little kitten and cum for daddy,” you order before she lets out what you consider one the most prettiest moans. All these years that you’ve been apart made you realize how much you needed her like this again. Natasha on the other hand is in heaven, splayed out in your hotel room after one of the best orgasms that she’s had in years and she never wants this moment to end. 
“ My pretty Kitten ready to go on?” You ask the redhead while you get off the bed to search for the one toy in your luggage to use on the woman laying in bed. 
The next morning
After the events of last night, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that she’d even stay in the hotel room with you, expecting her to just leave like nothing ever happened. What you didn’t expect to see in the morning is the redhead sound asleep next to you looking beautiful as always.
“ Natashaaaa,” you whisper to the redhead as you shake her awake, trying not to piss her off. 
“ It’s too early to be upppppppp,” she groans and shoves her head under the pillow. You giggle at the woman’s antics before quickly getting up to get her something to eat from the room mini-fridge. The other woman in bed on the other hand is silent as she observes you in the room. 
“ I have some snacks that I bought before the show yesterday but if you want a breakfast I can order,” you tell her and get no reaction from her as she tries to think of what to say next. You hand her a water bottle, a muffin, and a banana before going back for snacks for yourself. Both of you sit in complete silence as you wonder what to say to each other, after a couple of years of bickering with each other in the ring.
“ You know that I don’t hate you right ?” Natasha asks and you nod. 
“ I assumed that when you accidentally slapped me and left,” you pause,” I never hated you even after you left to come here, Tasha. I was hurt but also happy that my favorite person got the opportunity of a lifetime.”
“ Y/n”, she pleads to you. 
“ Happy that she got that amazing opportunity out of the bat meanwhile it took me a year for Danvers to even notice me, work my ass off to prove myself to her and everyone at NXT then do the same thing when I got drafted at Raw only for the same woman to act like I wasn’t even there Natasha”. 
“ Fuck,” she says beginning to tear up a bit,” I’m so sorry y/n”. 
All the both of you can do is cry together, Natasha wasting no time in holding you in her arms after years of not having you at her side for all the hard moments that she had to go through here alone when she wanted you there at her side. In that moment she knows that she can’t let you out of her life again. 
“ I was so scared when I first got here,” Natasha starts off,” All I wanted was you here to help me at my hardest, when I injured my leg my first year, going against Rhea and so many more. I understand if you want me out of your life y/n, you deserve someone who isn’t like me and just ghosted them like a dumbass”. 
“ Natasha,” you say,” I don’t want you out of my life, I want us to be back to the way it was”. 
“ Even after the stuff I put you through y/n??”. 
“ Yes because I know you like the back of my hand and I want us to be better than ever,” you explain. Natasha takes a minute to compose herself before she moves closer to you and leaves a kiss on your cheek. You use the opportunity to kiss her on the lips, years of no contact at all with the redhead in front of you and all you want to do in said moment is to show her all the love and affection she’s missed from you.
Both of you spend the rest of the day together in bed, basking in each other’s warmth and company, going over everything that’s occurred in each of your lives since being apart.
Natasha could not be happier that she got you back and she doesn’t want to let you go again.
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pleasekitasan · 2 years
Text
untouchable
pairing: oikawa nii-chan x f!reader, MDNI!!!!!
word count: 5k
tags and warnings: incest, dub-con / reluctance, intoxication, manipulation, virginity loss ( it's a social construct, but tooru-nii wants yours 🥴 ), god complex, all characters are over 18!!, use of "cunt", creampie / unprotected sex, timeskip tooru. if any warnings are missing, please let me know!
a/n: this is my submission for @iwaasfairy's persephone collab! if you haven't checked out her work yet, god lord please do. i'm so honoured to even have my blog & fic on a post of hers!! hope you enjoy tooru-nii being a moral monster to the tune of monster by exo! 😇
i'll flip you over, break you down, and swallow you up
i'll steal you and indulge in you
i'm gonna mess you up
i'm engraved in your heart
so even if i die, i'll live forever
when your nii-chan told the family that he was moving to argentina, everyone ( including you ) was so happy for him. to be able to find your passion in high school and pursue it after isn't something that everyone has the luxury of doing.
on the week leading up to his departure, you would follow him around like a puppy, even going out with him and all his high school friends to drink ( nii-chan would sneak you cups of sake when workers weren't looking ) to make sure you didn't lose a single second with him. by the time you two arrived home, your parents would be asleep or just heading to bed, so it was more than easy to sneak into nii-chan's room and sleep curled up at his side, hands scrunching the front of his shirt as you held on to him, even in your dreams.
seeing him off at the airport was the first time you felt your heart break. he looked so happy and you were, too! just really, really deep inside. ever since you were born, it was tooru-nii that looked after you when your parents were away ( which was a lot ). it was tooru-nii that helped you with your homework after school. it was tooru-nii that put you on the volleyball team as his manager. it was tooru-nii you'd scream for during all his matches. he's your first love — not your mother or father: it was always nii-chan.
after he left, life became bleak. the house felt so much emptier and your days so much darker. the volleyball team was never the same without him, but you stayed as a manager until graduation came around. with nii-chan no longer around, you used your free time to study and got into the best schools in the country, but it still didn't feel like this was the right path or what you should do, even when tooru-nii called to congratulate you.
a year after his departure, it was your turn to wear the black cap and gown, throwing the former in the air with the remnants of a smile twitching at your lips. you aren't sure what you're free from, but you feel relieved and relaxed. the rest of the day was spent bidding your friends farewell, most of them staying in miyagi for college, whilst you accepted a scholarship in tokyo. by the time you get home, your cheeks are tear-stained from the amount of goodbyes you've had to express — you really are going to miss a lot of them, especially the volleyball teammates that supported you throughout tooru-nii's absence.
the dark house suddenly becomes blinding as the lights flicker on and you shield your squinting eyes as the sound of "surprise!" mixes in with "congratulations" ( your parents weren't the best with planning things in general ). laughter bubbles up in your chest and you take a deep bow where you are at the door for all the relatives that stopped by.
"thank you, everyone!" your aunts and uncles, baby cousins and grown ones, even your grandparents were there. they didn't come by for tooru's graduation ( he explicitly said he didn't want a party ), but they stopped by to give you gifts, money, and lots of awkward hugs.
only when the last of your mother's side is done hogging you does tooru steal your attention.
"happy graduation, my sweet little imouto-chan."
your eyes light up, filling with the joy you've been deprived of for the past year.
"nii-chan!" you jump into his open arms without another thought and nuzzles your face into his neck, lips spread into a wide grin. "what're ya doin' here? i thought you were busy with a game this week!"
"well... mom 'nd dad called me up about a month ago to tell me that you're finally graduating. had to make somethin' up so you'd feel surprised. did ya miss me?" his question seems like such a stupid one. isn't it painfully obvious with the way you're clinging to him, ignoring everyone's laughter as they murmur about how close you two must be?
"maybe," you hum teasingly, a giggle leaving your lips when you see tooru-nii's small frown. "of course i did, dummy."
reluctantly, you pull away so things don't look weird ( weirder? ), but tooru's fingers lace with yours as he leads you around the house to greet your father's side of the family, your older brother squeezing your palm when you seem to grow disinterested in the elders' nagging or advice. he's always looked out for you and tonight, you know that this will never change.
\
"nii-chan," you giggle as his hot breath tickles the curve of your ear.
with all the adults gone and your parents resting in their bedroom, it was up to you and a tipsy tooru-nii to clean up, but having the elder dropping items with his butterfingers over and over again made you both agree to leave a note on the fridge saying that you'll clean it up in the morning.
now he's crumbling on top of his bed and he takes you down with him just as you close the bedroom door.
"my imouto, my sweetheart," he slurs a bit, wrapping his arms tightly around you so you're resting on his chest.
there's a smile you can't bite back and you lean up to nuzzle your cheek against his, the proximity and warmth of your older brother after their absence makes the hole in your chest slowly heal, the emptiness filling up with the love you've missed out on.
tooru pulls back a bit and your lips twitch at the corners from the loss, but his palms are quick to engulf your cheeks, his thumbs tracing underneath your doe eyes. even with moonlight as the only light source, you look so breathtaking to him, like you're the only girl he'll ever see.
"love you, sweetheart," he whispers, the smell of alcohol faint, but noticeable. your nose scrunches a bit and you start to lean into one of his hands, nodding.
"love you too, nii-chan. with all my heart!"
"just your heart?" his words catch you off guard and the way you tilt your head with confusion only makes the heat in the pit of tooru's stomach grow. "you see, imouto-chan, i love you with my body, heart, and soul."
his words individually are digestible, but when put together, they only blind you even further, your brows meeting in the middle with your visible lack of understanding.
frustration lines his voice in a thin layer at the way you don't seem to really get what he's saying — how is this even possible after you've pined for him for almost two decades?
"don't you get it, sweetheart?" one of his large hands swallows yours and places your palm in between his legs where his cock is straining against his sweats and boxers ( two layers too many if you ask him ). "i want you in every realm possible."
slowly — painfully slow, you start to comprehend what he — tooru-nii, your brother, is telling you. knowledge flashes in your eyes with a deep frown and you try to pry your hand away from his too warm one, but he fights it, pressing down even harder and bucking his hips into the barely tangible warmth of your tiny palm.
"you can't run away, baby. you made this mess, so you have to be the one to clean it up. take care of me like i selflessly took care of you all these years, sweetheart."
the pressing urge to ask if this is all a joke bubbles in your mouth, but before you have the chance to let it out, he presses his lips to yours with an unmistakable moan. tooru's way past the guilt he's held on to for years and allows himself to indulge in the delectable taste of your mouth, the way you mould so easily against him, as if you were made for him — but you are, aren't you?
only when he notices that you haven't breathed in a while does he pull away, lewd lines of spit still connecting his lips to yours; he leaves them there to let the image burn itself into his mind.
"nii-chan," you choke out, "i-i don't think i can do this... it's weird. i don't love you like this."
there's heartbreak in his eyes, perhaps the very same look in yours as he left for south america one year ago, and you feel your chest clench. when his eyes gleam with moisture in the reflection of the moonlight, you gasp in panic and hurry your hands to cup his cheeks out of instinct. you'd do anything to assure that nii-chan feels better, even if it means breaking moral and ethical codes... right? you should, right? he raised you more than your parents did without asking for anything in return, except this. just one thing, one time. you can do that.
"just one time, nii-chan..." mischief returns to tooru's eyes and he nods with no intent of keeping his promise.
"i promise it'll feel good, sweetheart." his breath is hot on your mouth as his hands slide down your neck, collarbones, and your sides, groping every inch of you he can on the way. "say you love nii-chan."
when he reaches the hem of your dress, he scrunches it in his fists and lifts the fabric up, up, up until it bunches in your underarms. the playful lilt in his eyes turns predatory in a second; the way he looks over your body makes a shiver run down your spine and you rush to cover yourself with your hands, but he's much too quick. two strong hands grab your wrists and pin them down by your head as a deep chuckle rumbles in his chest.
"have you've been holding out on me all these years, imouto-chan?" gentle lips press against your cheek and you feel the curl of his smirk as he trails wet kisses down your neck, his fingers finally releasing you to lift your dress up and off your body, your bra easily undone and stripped off next. his guttural moan fills the room when his hands engulf your tits, fingers indulging as he squeezes your plentiful flesh. a glimmer of hope forms when your eyes water up and spill with tears — maybe he'll see just how unwilling you are, how much you aren't enjoying this, and stop in his tracks. the miniscule possibility is washed away like a grain of sand in a windy wave as you feel the throbbing of his cock through his clothes — the same throbbing feeling you'd experience when he'd sit you on his lap whenever you'd sob and tell him about how issei senpai didn't return your texts ( it was all his doing with his threats to fuck up during matches if issei so much as even texted a period back to you ). it's clear now that it wasn't just the tears that made him so excited, it was the lack of power you had as you slumped on top of him, like you are underneath him, too.
"i love you, sweet pea. do you love nii-chan, too?" he's more pressing than before, his fingers squeezing down on your tits to elicit a response, something, out of you. his expression remains attentive when he wraps his mouth around one of your nipples, flicking and sucking on the peak as the now free hand dips lower and lower, tracing calloused fingertips all the way to your slit where he can witness your body betraying you. his digits get coated with your slick in a matter of seconds from just teasing the petals and you can feel the vibrations of his smug chuckle against your sensitive bud.
your unskilled hands could never provide yourself with the pleasure that tooru-nii instills upon you with only a single digit and he has you moaning, back arching slightly above the sheets.
"oh, god." you want to shut up, to deny him the satisfaction of knowing that he's actually making you feel good while he defiles you, but you've never won against nii-chan in anything — this is no different. slowly, you unravel underneath him, your hands grabbing his shoulders as his lips curl up into a devlish smirk. "i love you too, tooru-nii," you murmur in response a bit belatedly.
hearing it just once is enough. his eyes light up as if you bought him a spot on the olympic team, his head lifting from your chest with a lewd smacking sound of his grinning lips, only for him to trail downwards again, his mouth hot and wet as he quickly dips into your belly button before replacing his finger at your swollen clit with his mouth instead.
instantly, you feel the difference between his fingertip and his tongue, the latter gentler, but quick as he flicks against the sensitive nub until you're whimpering so loud, your hand clamps over your mouth. tooru moves his finger to trace circles around your entrance instead, letting your juice cover the tip of it before he slides into your unpenetrated walls. when he's met with slight resistance at the end of the digit, he pulls away from you with his spit and your nectar stuck to his mouth and chin.
"don't tell me you've never touched yourself, sweetheart... iwa-chan didn't even try to fuck you?" his invasive words make your cheeks flush bright red and you shake your head vigorously in response. your nii-chan's best friend has tried endlessly to deflower you, but you'd always scare him off by saying that tooru-nii would find out and sabatoge matches in response. your threats were empty, but iwaizumi wasn't dumb enough to think that the chance of it happening was none — he's seen the way tooru hovered over you for years, always reluctant to let anyone else have your attention, the captain would've found out one way or another, though if iwa had your consent, it might've been less of a disaster.
"you've been saving yourself for nii-chan all these years, just how it should be. it's almost poetic, really." the smile on his features bring about a shudder from your frail shoulders and you start to close your legs together, but tooru pinches the inner expanse of your thigh as punishment. "don't try to hide from me, imouto-chan. let me see my present and really appreciate it the way a man should."
obedient and submissive, the way he wants you to be — the way you've always been for him — you lay there bare and embarrassed, legs spread as he starts to undress himself. the scarlet that flushed his cheeks and chest is entirely gone now, his hands no longer shaking as he tosses his shirt up and over his head, his words no longer slurring as he calls you a handful of degrading words. the alcohol is already flushed out of his system and the only thing intoxicating him now is you.
in the time he's been gone, the growth tooru has gone through is strikingly noticeable: his shoulders are wider, his arms bulging with twice as much muscle power, his chest puffier and his abs more defined, even in the dark. a hesitant hand reaches up to hold onto his bicep like you used to when you'd try to pry him off of you whilst wrestling, except this time, your fingers are stranded much farther away from each other than you're used to.
"you like how much bigger nii-chan is now, sweetie?" the cocky grin on his lips isn't visible, but it's thick in his voice. with you slightly distracted, he takes the opportunity to rid himself of his slacks and briefs, kicking them off his ankles when they pool there. his question goes verbally unanswered, but he can feel the way your small fingers are starting to run along the strong muscles that lay underneath them, as if silently worshipping.
the single chuckle that escapes his smirking mouth is enough to break you out of your trance, your hand falling from his limb so you can cover your chest with your palms. you're hyperaware of his lingering eyes and the fact that you're both naked in his bed, his gaze unlike that of a loving brother, someone that swore to protect you from other men doing this to you.
"you were made for me, sweetheart. i was the one that asked kaa-san and otou-san for you. without me, you wouldn't be here. don't you think i'm a little... underappreciated?" his words took a twist you weren't expecting and your brows furrow together as you try to process what he's trying to say — are you supposed to be at his disposal because he asked for a sibling as a kid? it doesn't take too long for him to answer your question. "personally, i think you should worship me. thank me for allowing you to be born."
if you weren't under pressure, perhaps you would've done the logical thing and shoved him off of you whilst laughing wildly. he's being ridiculous and his logic is so deeply flawed.
but that's not what you see in your head right now. right now, you see the way your parents praised tooru-nii for every achievement he's earned, no matter how small, while they had overlooked your 1st place spelling bee trophy and the full-ride scholarship you worked so hard for. you think of the leftover pieces of fruit you'd get only if tooru-nii didn't finish off the plate that your mother would meticulously cut for him, your allowance being pennies whilst tooru-nii had a trust fund. every time you'd feel dejected, it was your brother that would tell you "great job" or sit you on his lap as he fed you all your favourite fruits, even if it meant he'd get less of them. you learned to ask your nii-chan for money whenever you needed a new uniform or school supplies.
he was right. you didn't mean anything to your parents and it finally makes sense why you lived in his shadow your entire life, why you relied on him for everything: tooru-nii is your provider, your god.
as comprehension starts to light up in your eyes, your brows unfurrow and your orbs retain their usual doe shape. he sees a sense of recognition flash in them and his lips curl into a crooked smirk — you're his, like you were always meant to be.
"thank you, nii-chan," is the first thing you utter out, tears welling at your waterline again for different purposes this time. this time, you're grateful; you feel blessed to be underneath him. your pathetic whimpers reflect just how sorry you are for your resistance and you part your legs mindlessly to let him enter however he wants — and why shouldn't he? he's taken care of you like one would their most prized possession for almost two decades now.
"that's my girl." the praise rushes straight to your pussy, which just starts to leak with desire, and you moan just from his words. "i'm glad you finally understand, sweetheart. i knew you could do it." he sounds condescending, but the way his warm palm caresses your cheek and his eyes gleam as they bore into yours makes show that he meant his words in a thoughtful manner.
"want you, nii-chan," you mumble, desiring nothing more than to fulfil your life's purpose of giving tooru-nii everything he wants — you're lucky that he wants you right now.
"of course, darling," he responds dismissively, as if your words didn't make a drop of pre-cum fall from his sobbing tip. "just have to make sure you're ready is all." and he does so thoroughly, dipping his head as he lifts your legs up, up, and up until you're almosy folded in half, his own torso bent over so he can press a sloppy kiss against where he knows your clit is restlessly throbbing. he's wreckless as he spreads your slick folds with his pointer and middle finger from below, his chin almost touching the dip between his digits as he feasts on you. the textured surface of his tongue licks a thick stripe from the origin of your sweet nectar and up to your clit that he finds underneath the cloak of your puffy folds, the edge of his wet muscle roughly flicking as his mouth latches on to the surrounding skin so he can suck down.
oh, the noises you make as your hands grip his chestnut locks are almost as intoxicating as your taste, and if there's ever been a time when tooru was pussy-drunk, it was nothing compared to now: he was absolutely inebriated beyond return with you.
he repeats what he did before, tracing circles around your entrance before he slides a finger in only halfway, so as to keep the last remaining evidence of your purity intact, then another to stretch you out — to be the considerate brother he always is, of course.
your back slowly lifts and he feels your fingers curl tighter around his hair, so he doubles down, lapping at your clit with lewd smacks of his lips filling the room until he feels your body tense — and that's when he pulls away from you without pity, the desperate cry from your poor lips that've swelled from how hard your teeth dug into them making it his turn to moan.
you look debauched, but he knows that there's still an ounce of innocence left within you that he's intent on taking.
"sweet imouto-chan," he murmurs as he finally takes your aching legs, folding them so your calves rest on each of his toned shoulders, his knees a few inches from your ass that's almost lifted from the mattress. "won't you tell me you love your nii-chan one more time?" soft lips press along your calf and he noses gently as a show of affection, luring you into saying what he wants to hear again.
"love you, tooru-nii," you respond obediently, lust thick in your voice as you realise how sticky you are between your legs, how much your entrance is clenching on nothing when it should be him instead.
"that's my girl," he repeats, but you don't mind hearing the same sweet words over and over, the possessiveness behind them. from where he kneels, he gets the perfect view of your slit and how it glistens in the moonlight with as much craftsmanship as if you were a hand-painted masterpiece of art about to go up in the louvre.
his cock twitches and chest clenches when he realises that all of it is for him, and that's how it'll be from now on — he'll make sure of it. greedy palms skim down your legs and hips until he can grab at your tits, the perfect size to fit in his hold, using them as leverage as he starts to finally tease his leaking tip against your desperate hole. with skilled thumbs, he flicks your pebbled buds and leans down so he can watch as you become his.
"take it all like a good girl," is the last you hear before he pushes just the head of his cock in, but it's enough to make your eyes widen — this is nothing compared to the two fingers he used to prep you.
"i-it hur—" but he won't have any of that.
tooru pushes in deeper, harder, until he's halfway in and he can feel the resistance of your hymen disappear. but that's when your pain reaches a peak and your back arches off the bed, your tiny hands pushing at his shoulders to try and fight him. the training and growth from his time away from you was all for this moment, to make sure that he can continue going inside of you, despite how much you protest.
"good girl," he breathes out huskily, uncaring of your struggles and the tears that fall down the sides of your cheeks. you're so warm and tight and he wants you sheathed around him completely, so he does it, he takes what he wants. within seconds, tooru bottoms out until his tip is buried deep within your walls and his head lolls, unable to keep it up as pleasure pumps through his veins. "holy fuck," he groans.
your sobs have quieted by now and your body's too limp to do fight back any longer — not that it would've had any impact. selfishly, he doesn't care if you've adjusted or if you will, his hips vigorously bucking against yours so he can pump in and out of your sweltering walls. the sound of his body pounding against yours is only amplified by the liquid shame that covers your thighs and his own.
with watchful eyes, he commits the way your face contorts from pain, then morphs into one of pleasure to memory as he lifts a hand to your cheek, making his weight no longer crush down on your chest as much. he caresses your tear-stained face, feigning pity in his chestnut orbs, but the smirk on his lips is as twisted as his thoughts. god, he loves the sight of you getting fucked dumb, each and every thought leaving your head each time he plunges into your hot, wet walls, until he pushes against the spongy bundle buried deep in you — then your eyes are rolling to the back of your head.
"who's nii-chan's sweet whore?" he grits out through his teeth, trying his best to keep his head from throwing itself back so he can watch you; he doesn't want to miss a single second of this. with the way your mouth only parts to let out lewd whimpers and moans, he knows he won't get an answer, but that's alright.
your gummy walls have already tightened and pulsed around his cock over and over — no surprise when he was the first thing to ever penetrate you, let alone this deep. the hand on your chest drops to hold your hip, prompting you to arch your back as he lets the fingers on your chest find solace in between your slippery folds to draw rough circles around your throbbing clit, forcing relief on you.
"be a good little sister and cum nii-chan's cock while he fills you up," he murmurs in a saccharine voice, so sweet that his proposition doesn't ring any alarms in your head. all you do is nod pathetically and grip his biceps ( when did they get so hard to wrap your hands around again? ) as you brace yourself for another orgasm.
with the extra stimulation of his digits, you feel the coiling hot heat in your core far more than the previous times, your knuckles turning white as you try to contain the feeling, but to no avail with tooru-nii pushing harder and harder into you, drops of his sweat falling onto your tummy.
"n-nii-chan, wait—" you try. you really feel like it's too much, but you see that your cry falls on unhearing ears when tooru starts to moan louder and louder. he pulls his hand back to slap it down against your clit and that's the last thing you remember before you're screaming "nii-chan!" repeatedly in between sobs, finally letting go. your eyes clamp shut and your toes clench so hard, you might've twisted a muscle. the faint sound of "oh, fuck" in your brother's voice lingers when you feel the pressure building up inside of you become lifted, almost like relief. your fingers letting go of him one by one as the strength in your body depletes in the afterglow of your orgasm.
"cutie," his voice sounds almost... in disbelief. "fuck, you there?" his fingers give your aching clit a nudge, jolting you back to reality. "you...you squirted."
in an instant, your eyes fly wide open and you lift your head ( much to the protest of your already sore body ) to see the moisture that glistens on his torso and your thighs, a few drops falling down his legs, too.
"i'm so sorry," you blurt out, shame making your cheeks redden even further, but tooru-nii looks far from enraged or displeased. his smile only widens and he leans in to press a kiss to your wet forehead.
"and what would you have to apologise for, sweetheart?" he seems more pleased — a bit cocky, even — and he slowly slips out of you ( not without a groan ), paying no mind to the mess on his sheets as he lays down beside you, turning onto his side with an arm stretched out under his head, the other hand stroking your damp cheek with the backs of his fingers. "you've been nothing but perfect."
\
the sun in argentina seems so much more powerful than it is back home, your skin having grown just a shade darker despite all the sunscreen you've been using. it was inevitable with how much time you spend on the beach in a skimpy bikini each day after tooru-nii finishes practice with his team — he won't let your feet touch sand unless you're nude or only covering the absolute necessities.
after a few weeks, you've adjusted to tooru's schedule — wake up, go for a jog, eat, practice, beach, fuck, then sleep; rinse and repeat. he never asks if you miss home or if and when you want to go back. you gave up your scholarship and admission to the school you got into the second tooru-nii asked you to move to argentina with him.
the first time he introduced you to his teammates, you couldn't understand any of the conversation taking place above your head, but the catcalls and whistles that came during it made you squirm just a bit. one of them looked at your face, then nii-chan's repeatedly, asking something about siblings you're sure because he said it in english, and you paid enough attention in school to learn that word. but nii-chan just gave a friendly hit to the man's shoulder and shook his head. when you had asked tooru about it later, he gave you a confused look, head tilted.
"you're my sweetheart, darling. i might be your big brother, but i love you much more than that — we love each other more than that." his toned arms pulled you in for an embrace and you returned it with a tight smile, nodding as you lowered your head against his shoulder, a single tear escaping your wet eyes.
this was what you were made for: to serve tooru-nii, no matter where he is in the world. you're his sweet doll, his darling — his perfect imouto-chan.
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