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wheelsup · 3 years

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the taming of the shrew | two

if i be waspish, best beware my sting

after some setbacks, penelope is willing to do anything to get you back on board. but has spencer already ruined things?

A/N: hello! im so sorry that this posting schedule is super inconsistent. the more i thought about this chapter, the less i liked the more technical aspects of it. but! i hope you enjoy to plot aspect of it nonetheless <3 thanks for reading!

category: fluff, slow burn series, spencer reid x fem!reader

wc: 4.4k

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Since that phone call with Penelope, she’d been over nearly every night for a week with plates of treats and onslaughts of apologies. Each time she came knocking, you told her there was no amount of persuasion that could change your mind. And yet the following night, she’d be there, a new type of pastry in hand and a new set of reasons why Spencer was worth the trouble.

First, she brought blueberry muffins and reasoned that deep below that prickly exterior, he really was everything she promised –– sweet and caring. But that must be deep, deep down. Like, The Lost City of Atlantis, deep down, because you didn’t expect it to surface any time soon.

Then, she brought fudge brownies and explained that his behavior wasn’t personal –– he was getting snippy with everyone lately. And while you maintained that anybody would have a hard time getting along with Spencer, you were absolutely positive that it was now impossible for you.

Quite frankly, it wasn’t just Spencer who was unwilling to play nice. You hated him. More than you’ve ever hated a stranger.

You wished him a lifetime riddled with minor inconveniences that would drive him to the edge of insanity. You wanted him to miss all his trains by just a quarter of a minute; close enough so that he could see it leave the platform, knowing he almost made it on. You wanted him to constantly feel like he was about to sneeze. You wanted his socks to be perpetually wet, and if he should happen to put on a dry pair? You hoped he stepped in a puddle.

That was all you could think about as you laid out on your couch, munching on one of Penelope’s lemon bars while she paced around your apartment. She kept going on and on advertising Spencer to you. As annoying as it was, she was also saving you a ton on groceries that week.

For the most part, you filtered her out. Not a single word that came out of her mouth was believable anymore, especially not when she was talking about Spencer. Despite what Penelope thought of him, you saw in him what she refused to accept.

As her speech came to a close, she looked at you like she expected a response to dignify her prattling.

“Give it a rest, Penelope. He’s a lost cause,” you laughed dryly. “He doesn’t need –– nor does he want –– anyone in his life.” At the very least, he definitely didn’t want you.

“Yes, that’s the problem!” If you’d been listening to her, you would’ve heard her saying the same thing. “He doesn’t want to date!”

Your head just about exploded when she said that.

There had been countless, fruitless conversations about this, and all along she saw the gaping hole in her supposedly airtight plan?

“If he doesn’t want to DATE, then WHAT was the point of this?!” Your fingers pressed the bridge of your nose; you suddenly felt a headache coming on. Funny how it always happened around the time of day that Penelope came to visit.

Penelope stopped pacing. She stalked over to your couch, picked your legs up by your ankle, and moved them to make space for herself. You begrudgingly sat upright as she took her place beside you.

“Because he’s not himself anymore. He’s not open like he used to be. Not to the people who care about him the most, and certainly not to the world.”

Penelope toyed with the hem of her dress, distracting herself from her quivering lip before pressing on, “Spencer Reid has always wanted love. And it’s not right that he no longer believes he can have it.”

You hadn’t seen Penelope look so desperate until now. It was concerning. Because what could make her look so hopeless? What could make Spencer so hopeless?

“Penelope, I don’t know what’s wrong with your little friend, but… there’s a lot more bubbling inside him than you’re letting on.”

She chewed up the insides of her cheeks, wincing to herself at your incredibly accurate claim.

“You are hiding something, aren’t you?” You narrowed your eyes on her. You were no detective, or whatever exactly her team did, but she was just awful at concealing her thoughts.

“It’s not my story to tell,” she murmured.

She could already feel herself about to give it away and doubled down her mental defenses against it. Focusing extra hard on keeping Spencer’s privacy intact. If only you knew her track record with secrets, you’d be proud of her for staying quiet this long.

“What isn’t your story?”

“That his girlfriend died last year.”

She spilled it before she even realized what she was saying. You’d just asked so nonchalantly that she forgot she was talking aloud. Penelope turned purple, terrified now that the whole truth was out there.

You couldn’t even take satisfaction in the fact that your trick worked. You were just as mortified as Penelope, and if you weren’t already sitting down, you knew you’d need to. You assumed there was something deeper going on with him, you didn’t think it was a dead girlfriend. That was some Nicholas Sparks shit.

“He pretends like he’s fine but I know he’s not. And if he found a way to move on, maybe he’d start feeling as okay as he claims to be,” she sniffled before snot could run from her nose, tears lining the rims of her eyes. “I know I should’ve given you the full picture, but I didn’t think you’d go for it if you knew…”

You were too floored to process it all right away. This added a whole new layer of complicated to an already uneasy arrangement.

“Well, I know you’re right about one thing. I would’ve said no.”

She gave you a set of pleading eyes, praying you’d see where she was coming from.

“I know,” she whispered defeatedly. “But maybe... now that you know, you can understand why he acts out the way he does.”

“Penelope, I can’t just… make someone move on, or –– or get them to believe in love! Especially when it’s fake.”

How on Earth did she expect you to pull that off? Did that guy from A Walk to Remember move on when Mandy Moore died? You hadn’t seen the ending of the movie, but you assumed not.

“I’m sorry, this is just… a lot bigger than the favor I thought it was ––”

“What if I could return it?” she cut in. The gears in her head started to turn, figuring ways to patch up the holes she made.

“There’s nothing I need from you.”

That couldn’t be true. Penelope looked around the room and it didn’t take her long to think of it.

“I can help you sell your art,” she tempted, gesturing to the scattered canvases. “You make all your income from this, right?”

You didn’t want to give any fuel to her fire, but you nodded. “What if… what if you didn’t have to settle for local buyers? What if I told you that you could make way more money selling them to the whole world?”

You chortled at her idea.

You were a local artist, through and through. Your art got put in local galleries and sold to local buyers. Nothing more, and that was fine with you. You realized it a long time ago that it was just a pipe dream to think you’d be more.

“I’m serious! You could get a separate painting studio, and stop living in one? Huh?” She wrapped her hand around your shoulder, waving the other in the air, urging you to picture it with her. “Imagine this: a kitchen that’s separate from your living room. A bed, inside it’s own four walls, and more than twelve feet from where you cook your meals.”

Pushing aside her so blatantly insulting your apartment, if that were a possibility, you’d want nothing more. But it already sounded foolish and you hadn’t even heard how she planned to pull it off.

“Penelope, I’m fine where I am. I make the money I need, and that’s... it’s fine.”

She gave you a pointed look. “You know, I can hack all search engine results to make sure you are what comes up first anytime someone enters the word ‘painting’, right?

An airy chuckle left your lips. Of course she could. You patted her thigh twice and stood up, prompting her to follow you to your door –– hopefully, so she can show herself to the other side of it. “Still no, Pen.”

“Just take some time to think about it!” Her voice carried through the wood as you shut it on her.

There was this one bench in Kenilworth Park – the one that overlooks the crystal clear pond – that you’d always been able to rely on to fix any problem.

There was hidden magic in the bushes that sprawled out from the edges of the water, surrounded by spiky green blades of overgrown grass. A simplicity you loved in baby ducklings paddling into the tiny body of water, swimming close together so they don’t get lost in, what seems to them, a whole ocean. And clarity provided by the freshest air in the world, under the shade of the big oak trees on a late summer afternoon.

But at the present, none of that came close to being enough.

The artist’s block started off as a minor inconvenience, but without your permission, had stretched into weeks of steadily declining motivation. Each new idea felt even worse than the last, and you were acutely aware that there would come a point where you’d officially hit maximum capacity for how awful they could get.

Still, that didn’t seem to light a fire under you. You happily coexisted with the blank pages of your sketchbook. Staring down at them, laying open on your lap in their stark-white glory, you felt like you were playing a waiting game. If you stared long and hard enough, maybe they’d flinch.

Unfortunately, you never got to find out who won, because your phone rang inside your pocket. As if the caller had interrupted an incredible genius at work (which couldn’t be farther from the truth), you hastily raised the phone to your ear, slamming your sketchbook shut.

“Hello?” Your voice wasn’t as kind as it could be for someone with nothing better to be doing. Two seconds later, you learned who was calling and came to regret it.

“Hi, This is Rebecca from District Arts, calling with a message from Andre ––”

“Oh, hi!” you tried to walk back your previous tone, straightening up in your seat and pitching your voice higher, “Yeah, I’ve been waiting to hear from him!”

While Rebecca intimidated you, Andre happened to be your closest friend at the gallery. He worked closely with the artists to curate their collection and help them make sales.

“Does he want to sort out what to set the opening bid prices at for my new pieces?” A handful of days ago, you sent him pictures of your new work and were waiting to hear his thoughts. You’d always been able to trust his opinion, and a vote of confidence from him might be just the thing to inspire you.

“Uhm…” There was a criminally long pause on the other side of the line, ended by Rebecca’s weary inhale. “Unfortunately, we’re calling to inform you that your pieces will not be included in the next rotation.”

For a minute, you weren’t sure what to make of what she said. You’d never heard those words before.

“What – what do you mean?” you laughed nervously. She probably misspoke. Perks of friendship aside, Andre always included you in sets.

“Ugh, let me just get him…” her voice faded away as she put the phone down.

That wasn’t exactly the reassuring statement you were looking for. In the time it took for the call to switch hands, your confusion finally melted in. And then quickly boiled into anger.

The District Arts gallery changed their entire collection every two months. The pieces shown accepted rolling bids throughout the full eight weeks, finally selling at the end of term to their highest offer. After that, the pieces got taken down, sent to happy new owners, and the entire gallery reset with entirely new works.

So if you missed one rotation, that meant waiting two months to get back in.

“Andre, how am I just cut from the gallery!” you barked before he could get a word in. If he didn’t like your work, he could’ve just said so.

“No one said that ––”

“Okay, let me rephrase.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, something you found yourself doing quite frequently lately, and took a deep breath in and out. It was seemingly just for show because it did absolutely nothing to calm you down. “Why wouldn’t you put me in the next set? I’m in all of them!”

“I know you are!” He sounded just as upset. “It’s just that… we give you the biggest space we have, because you always manage to fill it up. But this time… I’m not so sure you can.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “What makes you say that?” You asked that, but you knew.

“You’ve only finished three pieces… I’m worried how you’ll deliver seven more before we set up.”

“But… it’s four weeks away, I could do ––”

“And it took you four weeks to make what you have... I’m sorry. We couldn’t take that gamble.”

He took your silence as an opportunity to turn off the work talk and speak, just friend to friend.

“You know that I trust you and I’d hold that spot if I could. But, I also know what you’re going through right now, and… I don’t know, maybe letting yourself rest would be a good thing?”

Your heart paused. By, “knowing what you’re going through”, you assumed he didn’t mean the little artist’s block.

“If you’re implying that I can’t do my job because of what happened with Cyrus –”

“I’m not, I’m not....” he backtracked as quickly as he could. “But take another look at the paintings you showed me and tell me if they feel like you.”

Even if he was right, you wanted to fight him. You wanted to cry. You wanted to beg that you didn’t need that big space; you were willing to downsize and just turn in the three that you had. Even if they got shoved into the corner where hardly anybody bothered to look. You just couldn’t afford to go two months without the income.

But even with tears beading up, you realized that the gallery couldn’t afford it either. They needed to bring in money and you couldn’t do that for them this time. So they were right to go to someone who can.

“Right,” you sniffled, recollecting yourself so he can’t hear the shakiness in your voice. “I understand. It’s a big risk, like you said… It’s for the better.”

Andre tried to thank you for being understanding and spewed some sort of encouragement. The words flew over your head. You managed to toss in a few ‘mhmm’s and ‘sure’s at the right places to coast you along until the call finally ended.

As soon as it went dead, you dropped your phone to the side and brought your hands to your face, rubbing them furiously over your cheeks. Your fingertips pressed hard into your eyelids, trying to forcibly reabsorb the tears threatening to spill.

It almost worked, until you tried to breathe.

A full sob escaped in that one gulp of air and you succumbed to it. But the loud crunching noise of some pedestrian walking over the falling leaves destroyed your sense of privacy, and you quickly wiped away all signs of your breakdown. The crunching stopped just short of your bench and on instinct you flicked your eyes up to see who the intruder was.

You did a double take. It was him. That fucking asshole.

He was standing there, looking dumber than you could even remember, with his hands in his coat pockets and a curious look on his face as he watched you cry. Tucking your sketchbook under your arm in haste, you made it a point to stand up with as much aggression as possible, rolling your eyes at him.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” you barked. “No need to yell at me this time.”

You bristled past him, barely refraining yourself from checking his shoulder as payback. You wanted to believe you were better than him, but it did sound incredibly tempting. He stood there for a moment before turning on his heel and following you.

“Wait,” he groaned.

You didn’t listen, neither stopping nor slowing down.

“I said wait,” he huffed as he caught up to you, popping up at your side and jogging along as you kept going.

“Yeah, because I need to listen to a guy who yells at strangers in bookstores.”

Now that you’d brought up the elephant in the room, your feet started moving even faster, working double time to get you away from him.

Damn the fact that he had those long legs. He didn’t even break a sweat trying to keep up. He was inescapable.

“Well, if you waited like I asked, you would’ve gotten an apology for the ––”

“Gee, thanks!” you yelled, stopping for only a second to turn to him and give him a mocking bow of your head, hands clasped together like you were praising at his altar. “I was waiting with bated breath for that! Thank you, kind sir, for now my life can go on.”

“Look, I’m actually sorry,” he snapped. Then in realizing the irony, softened his voice, “I’m sorry for being rude. I was having a bad day… not that that’s an excuse.”

You stared at him blankly, just watching his mouth moving quickly and waiting until it finally stopped.

“Did you need something?”

“Did you… did you not hear what I just said?!”

“No, sorry,” you smiled, voice sweet like sugar. “My ears filter bullshit. Wanna try again?”

He scoffed, looking away like he couldn’t believe you before stepping even closer. “What’s your problem?”

“Me!? The fuck –– what the fuck is your problem?” You turned and stormed off again, seething at his audacity. Spencer just couldn’t relent his annoying tendencies and followed yet again.

“My problem is that I’m trying to be nice, and you’re not letting me!”

You got a good, hard laugh out of that. “Okay, first of all, having to apologize for yelling at me and pushing me isn’t exactly the best starting point for the journey of becoming a nice person.”

“Like I said, I was having a bad day.”

Under your breath, you muttered, “Well, I hope this one’s even worse.”

“Why are you such a ––” He stopped himself from finishing that thought. Even in his worst mood, he wouldn’t cross that line.

But he didn’t need to finish it, you knew exactly where he wanted to take it. The soles of your shoes scraped against the loose gravel as you came to a grinding halt, ears ringing.

“A what?” You turned to face him, a sarcastic smile on your face growing wider as he started to shrink more and more. You got up close in his face, daring him to say what he really wanted to. So he could reinforce your belief in exactly the type of person he was. “A what?”

Spencer pursed his lips and shook his head, refusing to say it no matter how much you challenged him. If he wasn’t going to have the balls to say it, you decided to take it upon yourself.

“Tell you what, you keep thinking about it and get back to me the next time you’re in a cunty mood.”

The word he was thinking of was probably not as bad, but you had a habit of escalating things. Even if you took this one too far, you didn’t care.

Before you tried to take off again, Spencer’s hand flew to your elbow. He tugged you back, forcing you to turn around and face him. He didn’t know his own strength; without any resistance, you came stumbling into his chest, at risk of falling over if it weren’t for his tight grip on your arm.

It took you a beat to push him away with both your hands on his chest, vocalizing your disgust for being so close to him.

“Can you stop trying to disagree with me for a second? I’m trying to tell you that you’re right, I was being a… well, you know…” He avoided the word. Apparently ‘cunt’ was where he drew the line. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it.”

Your nostrils were still flared and blood hot as ever, but he made you pause. He looked sincere, if not a little tinged with guilt as well. You were suspicious of it.

“You saw me crying and felt bad, didn’t you?”

He laughed darkly. “Well, I saw you, yes. Did I feel bad? No.”

“Oh, my God,” you growled, berating yourself for getting close to believing he might be capable of decency.

“I’m joking! I’m joking.” He squeezed your elbow twice in earnest. “I did feel bad, but that’s not why I wanted to say it.”

“Okay.” You weren’t ready to give him a real smile, so you flattened your lips into a thin line and nodded once slowly, and left it at that.

You still weren’t a fan, but the apology did dampen some of the resentment. Maybe he wasn’t the worst person alive. You’d settle for saying top ten most annoying, instead.

Minutes later, you came to the startling realization that he was still on the path, just two paces behind you. You flinched when you saw him out of the corner of your eye, not expecting him to still be here.

“Uhm. Where are you… why are you still following me?”

“I’m not. My car’s that way,” he gestured to the parking lot at the end of the long walkway. “I forgot my loaf for the ducks.” He didn’t mean to offer that information up, it just slipped out. He could practically see your smug expression coming before it even got there.

“You’re not supposed to feed bread to the ducks. It’s bad for them.”

“I don’t.” He didn’t care to explain this to you, but he couldn’t have you thinking he was any less competent than he really was. “It’s a special bread made from water and seeds that were ground into flour. It’s duck-safe.”

“They make duck-safe bread?” Now that was something you’d never heard before.

“No… I make duck-safe bread,” he said softly under his breath.

You didn’t know how else you were supposed to react to that besides laughing wildly.

“You make it?” He nodded like you were the crazy one here. As if he wasn’t the one spending his spare time grinding up seeds and baking loaves of bread for ducks, donning a frilly pink apron and oven mitts as he did so. At least that’s how you imagined it. “Why not just feed them the seeds?”

“Because, loose seeds will sink in the water and can potentially clog waterbeds and cause foreign bacteria growth in the pond.”

“So you… hand-make the seeds into a little loaf of bread so it doesn't do that?”

He confirmed. You pondered silently for a moment, then absolutely had to ask, “You ever eaten the duck bread before?”

Spencer was caught off guard by that question. His cheeks deepened to a rosy color.

“Yeah, well, it was the house so…” he laughed nervously and stared at his sneakers. “It’s actually not too bad.”

You weren’t entirely surprised by that. You remembered what his grocery basket looked like, and given those same options, you probably would’ve tried the duck bread too. Still, you cracked the smallest of grins at knowing he makes bread for ducks. The one, sole redeeming fact you’ve learned about Spencer.

You reached your car first, and Spencer stopped in front of it with you.

“I’m actually sorry, you know,” he whispered once more, hand resting at the top of your car door as you opened it. He wasn’t talking about the incident at the bookstore.

“Yeah…” For a while you were so busy being angry at Spencer that you forgot about your own problems.

He noticed your nose was still red around the edges, eyes still a little bleary. “Are you okay, by the way?” His voice was too soft, too genuine.

You shook your head no.

“Is there anything I can do?” You shook your head again. And then you had an awful thought.

You knew he was just offering to help just to say it, because that’s how people react when you say you’re not okay even if they don’t care. But there actually was something he could do for you… Something that Penelope could do.

“Uh, no but…” you fixed your hair and tucked it behind your ear, seamlessly switching to a flirtier voice. “If you still feel bad about the other day, you’re welcome to make it up to me.”

Spencer cocked his head to the side, unsure of how he could do that.

“Hang out with me sometime.”

“H-hang out?” You could tell that it flustered him, even if he tried to play it off. He swallowed thickly, nose twitching and brows scrunched together.

“Relax, I really do just mean hang out.” You were lying through your teeth. He didn’t need to know that.

As if he didn’t want to think about it for a second longer and just get out of this conversation as quickly as possible, he agreed without thinking it through. He didn’t even ask why an almost complete stranger would want to hang out with him.

You stuck your hand out, expecting him to hand over his cell so you could put your contact into it. He rocked on the balls of his feet, watching as you input your contact and sent yourself a text on his phone.

“Hi, this is…” you read out your message as you typed, pausing at just the right place. “What’s your name by the way?”

“Oh-uh, I’m Spencer.”

A devilish grin took over your face, hidden from his view while you were looking down at the screen. He was going to be easy to fool.

agh! im still not in love with how this chapter is turning out, but it came to a point where i just had to stop fiddling with it and just post it. any feedback or comments about this story is very much appreciated 💕

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spencerreidscoffeecup · 3 years

Text

New ‘Do

Summary: Reader has a sort of fettish for Spencer's new haircut, and Spencer then explains to the team and reader how he could tell.

CW: talk of hair fettish (obvi lol), describing sexual things, kissing, talk of sex, hair-pulling

AN: hey guys!! So I know this is my second blurby one shot in a row, but idc lol im lazy. i hope you enjoyyy <33

Reader's POV:

Spencer Reid and his hair will officially be the death of me.

Something about the way he styled it always got to me.

During our various sexual encounters, I would always tug his head back with his hair. And of course, he fucking loved it, which only fueled my..fettish for his hair even further.

That's why when he said that he was going to chop off his chestnut locks, I couldn't help but protest.

"But Spencer! I love your long hair!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air dramatically as he chuckled, walking into the kitchen of our apartment to grab a water bottle. He had just told me the news, and I felt like a part of me was going to go missing. I don't care how dramatic I sounded.. It was the truth and only the truth.

"Y/n, I'm just chopping off a few inches! It's gone on to be too long since my last cut.. I look like a nerdy Jesus." he said, opening his water bottle as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

I walked closer to him, running my fingers through his hair as he took a sip from his water. I looked at his beautiful locks as though they had hypnotized me. "But it's so pretty...I love it. I love to tug on it! Spence, how am I supposed to play with it?" I whined, and Spencer sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he put his hands on my waist.

"Baby, I promise you'll be able to play with my hair once I get it cut. I just need it out of my face for work."

"Then put it in a little bun!" I squeaked, my hands still tangled in his curls. Truthfully, I knew what I was doing was childish, but something about his longer hair made my whole body light into a beautiful flame.

Spencer rolled his eyes jokingly, pulling me to him for a heated kiss to nicely say, shut up. After a moment, he pulled away, leaning his forehead on mine before kissing the tip of my nose.

"I'm getting it cut tomorrow. End of story. So say goodbye to my 'Jesus Reid' haircut," he said, cupping my jaw with his right hand, as he ran his thumb gently along my lips. I sighed in defeat, tugging on Spencer's hair slightly as a whine slipped past his lips.

That's when I got an idea.

I tugged his head all the way back, littering kisses on his neck and sucking on the soft tissue of his skin lightly. Spencer whimpered softly, the sound and his hair woven between my fingers making fire burn course through my veins.

"Aren't you gonna miss me yanking on it?" I asked innocently, showing off my best puppy eyes before I kissed the column of his throat.

"You'll be able to yank on my new hair." he stated simply, gripping my hips with more power.

"But it won't be the same!" I groaned, throwing my arms loosely around his neck. Spencer laughed once more at my dramatics.

"Y/n, I'm getting my haircut tomorrow. There's nothing you can do about it! Now, we have the whole night ahead of us, and if you want to get one last yank on my hair, I suggest we begin now." he said smugly, and I giggled bashfully; following Spencer to the bedroom to begin our fun 'adventures'.

Let's just say: he and I didn't get much sleep that night.

The next morning, I awoke to Spencer shutting our apartment door as quietly as possible.

That's when it hit me.

He got his haircut!

I hopped out of bed, rushing into the living room to find Spencer. His beautiful hair had obviously been cut a few inches shorter, giving him a sort of prince look.

And I swear to all things holy, my heart stopped beating.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

I felt heat flood throughout my body as he turned around, his hair sort of messy-- although extremely charming.

I walked up to him, running my fingers through it as he laughed.

"Well good morning to you too." he greeted, planting his hands on my waist before asking me a quick, "How do you like it? I think I'll change it soon but it's good enough for now."

"No!" I squeaked, feeling my cheeks warm up as I pulled him to me, kissing his lips fervently as I whimpered against him.

Spencer was about to put his hands on my face before we heard an incessant ringing from his bag.

"Fuck," he breathed, kissing my lips softly before fishing for his phone that was hidden away in his satchel. He retrieved it, flashing me the screen to show me who was calling. Damn it! It was Hotch.

Spencer answered it, holding the phone up to his ear as I made my way to him, beginning to suck on his neck and collar bones as he spoke. "O-Okay, yes I-I'll tell her. A-alright. Bye."

He hung up, groaning softly when I sucked on the sweet spot of his neck. "Y-Y/n, we have a case, baby."

I sighed, kissing my way up to his lips.

"So I'm guessing you like my hair?" he chuckled, and I nodded fervently, biting my bottom lip.

"Good."

Spencer smiled, bending his neck down a bit to lightly kiss my lips, before telling me we had to go as soon as possible.

I reluctantly agreed, wanting more from him but turned around and walked back to our bedroom as I began to get ready.

A few minutes later, we each grabbed our things and headed out the door to the BAU jet to do the briefing of the case.

Oh, boy.

This was going to be a long one.

We had made it on the jet, the team's reactions to Spencer's haircut full of hilarity.

JJ was the first to say something, who did a swift, "Well, hello."

Spencer had pressed his lips into a thin line, a confused look on his face as he looked around; seeing the team member's stare.

Hotch was next to say something, in which he furrowed his bushy eyebrows together to prompt the question that made the whole team burst out laughing: "What, did you join a boyband or something?"

Spencer's eyebrows crinkled together as he spouted, "W- No."

"Awe, come on guys I love it." I said, taking a hold of Spencer's hand under the table as he smiled at me, his cheeks a light pink.

"That's because you're in love with him, pretty girl." Derek teased, flashing a toothy grin at me as I felt my face get warm.

The team laughed a bit more, agreeing with Derek's sentence before Hotch began the briefing.

Our case was based in Boise, Idaho.. Apparently, a serial killer had been revealed to have been posting his murders on the Internet, accumulating quite a collection of fans in the process.

Ew.

Disgusting.

Now, we were about an hour into the plane ride, and I tried distracting myself with my book, but I just couldn't.

I couldn't stop myself from staring.

He was so addicting to look at.

He noticed my gaze on him as he looked back at me.

"What?" he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"I think Y/n likes your new hair, Reid." Emily said, causing the others that weren't asleep to look up from what they were doing to joing in on the conversation.

"Ooh, I think pretty girl has a hair fettish," Derek chuckled, poking me in the ribs as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Wh-! I do not!" I exclaimed, feeling a blush color my face.

"No, I think you do." JJ smirked, laughing with Emily.

Thank God, Rossi's asleep.

"She definitely does," Spencer piped up, his face and tone completely innocent.. As though he was about to state one of his fun facts. Which I guess in a way this was a fun fact.. Fun for everyone else except me.

I looked at him incredulously, hitting his chest lightly.

"How do you figure?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest, daring him to say another word.

"Well when I got home this morning from the parlour and you saw me, you did this thing you do when you are about to orgasm," he explained, beginning to talk with his hands.

"Oh, what does she do, boy genius?" Emily asked, leaning over to get in on the fun. I could not believe what I was hearing.

"Her breathing gets heavy and she has to hold onto something.. Usually that 'something' is my hair, but when she first saw me she gripped the back of the couch. Then she was kissing me alot and running her fingers through my hair. She whimpered a little bit too, which is something she also does when she is about to-"

"O-kay! Can we stop talking about me and orgasms?" I asked, hiding behind my hands in embarrassment.

"You asked me how I knew you had a fettish and I explained." Spencer said in a sing-song tune, the team member's laughing which eventually woke Rossi up.

"Wh-what are we laughing at?" he asked in a dazed state, his eyes barely open.

"I don't think you want to know," Hotch said, arching an eyebrow as he looked back down at his case files.

"No, I want to know." he shrugged, nodding his head.

My eyes grew wide at Derek's response:

"Apparently, when Prettygirl is about to have an orgasm she whimpers. Oh, and she also has a hair fettish...Specifically with Spencer's hair."

"Dio mio! I did not want to know that!" Rossi cried, making me slap myself in the face as I groaned in embarrassment.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, cringing as I realized that Derek had practically told my grandfather about my sex life. "I'm going to get more coffee."

"Ooh, can you get me some?" Spencer asked.

"No." I said simply over my shoulder, throwing Spencer a pointed look.

I poured myself another cup of much needed coffee before Spencer walked up beside me.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I was just explaining facts to the team." he said softly, and I began to feel bad for making him think I was angry at him.

"Spence, it's okay, really," I laughed, and I saw a wave of relief wash over his features. I kissed him gently, tugging on his hair as he whimpered. "I guess I could always just tell the team that you whine and beg when I pull your hair." I whispered, untangling my fingers from his hair as I kissed him softly on the lips, Spencer's face a bright red.

"I must really like your new 'do, Spence."

And with that, I walked away, smirking at Spencer immediately throwing the washroom open, locking the door behind him.

He didn't open it until fifteen minutes later.

#domreader #subspencer #subspencerreid #sub!spencerreid #sub!spencer #dr.spencerreid #smut #haircut #fanfic #wattpad #criminalminds #spencerreidxreader #spencerreidxreadersmut #dom!spencerreid #domspencer

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wangxianficrecs · 3 years

Photo

Fic Finder

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1. Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores

FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)

FOUND! by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA: Oops, not this one. JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]

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2. Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜

FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)

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3. Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?

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4. i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype

FOUND! @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)

FOUND! @castaways-logbook offers The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)

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5. ... same as #6 ...

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6. Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol

FOUND! by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)

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7. Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me

FOUND! @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)

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8. Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks

Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.

I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.

FOUND! Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) - mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)

FOUND? could you be looking for Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ. There are many pictures of bunnies.

SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)

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9. Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad

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10. Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha. [Ah! I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!] I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.

FOUND? Could you be thinking of ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)? Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.

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11. heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!

FOUND! Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:

Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)

we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)

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12. Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!

FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)

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13. Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!

FOUND! by nonny themself. It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)

SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)

SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish: something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)

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14. I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.

FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“

The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)

or this one on ffn:

mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)

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15. I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?

FOUND! @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)

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16. nm

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17. Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him

FOUND? Could you be thinking of Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?

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18. Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn

FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)

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19. Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.

Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs. [Thank you!]

FOUND? Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible (E,193k, wangxian)? It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).

FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)

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20. Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs. [You’re welcome!] Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

#wangxian fic finder #wangxian #mdzs fic finder #wangxian fic rec

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bookofmariokingofmaiami · 3 years

Text

This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again

Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes

Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens

Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon

Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be

MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT

Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open"

Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"

Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"

Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"

Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"

Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day"

Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"

Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"

Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"

Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"

Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"

Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"

Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"

Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"

Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"

Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"

Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"

Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"

Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"

Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"

Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"

Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"

Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"

Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"

Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"

Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"

Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"

Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"

Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"

Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"

Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"

Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"

Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"

Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"

Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"

Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"

Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"

Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"

IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"

Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"

Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"

Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"

Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"

Goombape:"When i played it as a children"

Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"

Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"

Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"

Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"

Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"

Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"

Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"

Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"

Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"

Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game"

Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"

Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"

Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"

Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"

IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"

Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"

Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"

Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"

Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"

Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"

Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here" and he's right, there has to be a better way""

Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"

goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"

Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"

Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"

Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("

Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"

Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"

Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"

Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"

Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"

Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"

Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"

Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"

Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"

Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"

Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"

IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor"

Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"

Sushiya, testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"

Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock, but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"

Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"

Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"

Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"

Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"

Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"

IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"

Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"

Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"

Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"

Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"

Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"

Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"

Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"

Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"

Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"

Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "

Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"

Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"

Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy, I'll save my ammo for my suicide"

Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"

IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"

Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"

Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"

Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"

Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"

Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"

Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"

Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"

Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "

Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"

Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"

CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT

Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"

Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"

Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"

Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"

Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "

Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"

Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"

Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]

Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"

Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"

Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"

Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"

Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"

maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"

Bolivia, talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"

IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"

Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"

Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"

Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation, the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "

Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"

IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"

Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"

Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"

Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination, i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket"

Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"

Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING"

Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "

Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"

Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"

Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"

Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"

Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"

Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"

Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"

Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"

Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"

Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"

Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"

Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*

Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"

Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"

Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"

Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"

Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"

Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"

Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"

Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"

Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"

Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"

Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"

Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"

Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"

Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"

Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"

Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]

Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"

Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"

Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum, why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"

Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"

Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"

Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"

Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"

Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"

IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"

goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"

Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"

Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"

Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"

Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"

Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"

Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"

Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"

Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"

Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"

Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"

Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"

Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"

Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"

Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"

Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"

Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"

Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"

Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"

Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed

Frequent reblogers

<《{[(@boom-fanfic-a-latta )]}》>

<《{[( @gumdorp )]}》>

PLEASE REBLOG!

#funny #mario #paper mario #book of mario #bolivia #mary #barbie the bob omb #1000 infernal air sleeves #quotes #captainsauce #mitten squad #paul #goomb #goverman #goombell #carbon

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northcarolinanative · 4 years

Text

𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐥

TW: Substance abuse, underage drinking, angst, Rafe Cameron

Description: Y/N Routledge is tired of the overbearing rules and protection from her brother John B after their father disappears. One night she rebels and goes a little too wild, and JJ is left to help pick up the pieces.

A/N: I’m kinda nervous to post this... I’ve got ZERO idea where this came from, but it popped into my head. AND if we can’t tell by now, Im a sucker for a Brother best friend... Also I swear this blog has turned me into a drew stan, not that im complaining. I’m not trying to glamorized drugs or anything in this, don’t do drugs for any reason, pls. This is set before the season starts. If you are struggling with substance abuse PLEASE talk to someone professional that can help, that is the first step. I am not sure if I like this imagine or not, let me know what you think, it's definitely something different for me. As always... Requests are open.

It was only one line. No one would even notice. It wasn’t a big deal. You had been drinking all night, this could not be any different. I stood up to walk away, my nose was burning, but I felt on top of the world though, I knew that. No one could knock me down, not even John B. That’s probably why I did it. He was treating me like a child. I know I’m his little sister, but he’s not my dad. If he can go out, party, do whatever then I should be able to too.

So here I was in the basement of some Kook house. I was not sure who had brought me here. I felt alive, the rush of the drug starting to taking over. I walked back up the stairs seeing my brother and his friends. I made a quick line to the drink bar. There I found a few clueless tourons pouring some odd concoctions of drinks. I hoped I had moved away from JB and his friends without them noticing me. We were all friends really, Kie was the closest thing to a best friend that I had, but they all were overprotective of me, like John B. I just needed to breathe.

I had apparently caught JJ’s attention when I came up the basement stairs. I had downed two more shots by the time that John B and the other pogues found me. A touron girl had helped me up on the countertop to dance with her. This was not like me at all, and the pogues knew that. Drunk me was quiet and angsty, I liked to pick fights, not make people stare at me while I danced on the table. JJ looked up at me first his eyes full of worry. I quickly turned away and looked back at the girl I was dancing with. She started dancing on me, while some guys yelled and called to us. I flipped them off grabbing the bottle from her hand and drinking straight from it, earning cheers from the crowd around me. JJ jumped up on the table with me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to dance with him.

“Y/N. What are you doing? You need to calm down, come with us, lets get some fresh air?” He asked worry coating his tone.

I scoffed at him. “Really JJ Maybank is trying to kill my buzz. That’s new.” I looked around and spotted the other pogues steps away on the oppisiteside of the counter.

“I saw you leave the basement Y/N. Do you know what they do down there?”

“JJ, I was looking for a bathroom.” I lied. “Don’t baby me, you know I hate that.” I kissed his cheek before jumping down. I made sure to quickly disappear into the crowd.

The others saw JJ move toward me but he turned around knowing he lost me. “JJ. You said you had it handled!” Kie stated.

“Something’s wrong” Is all JJ said. “She said to stop babying her. She was in the basement. This isn’t like her.” He locked eyes with John B, who was seeing red.

“We need to find her if she did…” He paused closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose., “she’ll crash soon, better us find her than some kook”

I was in the middle of a crowd dancing. My vision was starting to be affected by the mix of substance in my system. I felt someone come behind me, their hand finding their way to my hips. I swayed back and forth. I felt their head dip to say something in my ear. “I know you’re a pogue, and I’m a kook and all, but I won’t tell anyone if you don’t” Rafe. It all started to make sense, he was the one who lead me downstairs, said if I was “sick of being treated like a kid” too follow him. It was all adding up, as much as it could. I turned around facing him. He looked down at me, with a look that said it all. The room was starting to spin, faster and faster, I was starting to wobble a little. I gripped onto Rafe’s arms for stability. He took that as a clue and leaned down. The next thing I knew we were making out, there in the middle of the dance floor. I didn’t feel anything for him, but I didn’t mind it, as much of an asshole he was, I knew that he had given me the coke. His hands were making their way down my body. He was practically keeping my standing. Everywhere he touched was like fire, I could feel everything, except the ground under me. Then he was gone.

I opened my eyes to see Kie staring at me. Then back at Rafe. “I guess you liked the coke a little too much.” He said to me then looked over at Kie before walking away. The room was spinning so much faster. The air seemed harder to breathe in. I was just macking Rafe Cameron. What?

“Y/N! What the hell was that?” Kie exclaimed pulling you through the house and out into the cold air. I stopped and gripped the railing that was leading to the beach. “Come on! The boys are worried sick about you!” I just stood there gripping the railing with both my hands. “Y/N”

I just held my hand up. “Can we wait for the world to slow down? It’s - It’s rotating so fast” I said leaning against the railing.

“No. Think about that next time before you take drugs from a kook” Her tone was cold as she pulled me by the wrist to the beach. I stumbled onto the sand. The boys rushing over to us when they saw Kie pulling me behind her.

“Where the hell was she?” John B was quick to hold me up, a worried look on his eyes, when I leaned into him for support. I was not breathing right. I could feel it. I tried my best to focus on the group in front of me.

“Hmm. Y/N. Should I tell them or you?” She said crossing her arms. Her voice was cold too cold. I stayed quiet. I pushed it too far. Way too far. “Well I went into that big group of Kooks, and found our friend here macking on none other than Rafe Cameron” She paused, everyone’s eyes grew wide. “But the best part is that it was payment for her doing his coke.” Pope and JJ just looked at you with wide eyes. John B moved so that you were facing him.

“You did what?” He looked into your eyes, looking for any sign that Kie could be lying. “She’s lying, right? You didn’t do that?” He shook you a little. Tears started to form in my eyes. I shook my head.

“She’s not lying.” The tears kept running down my face. I couldn’t meet his stares.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, okay?” I wasn’t lying. “I barely remember going down the stairs, much less why. I’m sorry John B”

“Whatever. We’re going home” He let go of me and I stumbled a little bit. JJ looked at me, the others following John B, just as pissed. He had a look of pity in his eyes, Great.

He walked over to me throwing one arm around my waist, and mine over his shoulder. “I’ve got you” was all he said.

The walk back to the Chateau was quiet, but the tension could be cut with a knife. When we arrived back JB mumbled something about talking in the morning if I wasn’t still a drug addict. Which I deserved for the way I was acting. Pope and Kie sat on the pull out couch in the living room, watching as JJ walked me into my room, shutting the door behind him.

“Do you want some comfy clothes to wear?” He asked. I nodded leaning against the bed. My head was starting to hurt. I had not thought of the repercussions of my actions at all, tomorrow would be hell. “Here.” He handed me clothes to change into. “I’ll turn around, but I’m not leaving, the last thing we need is you falling as splitting your head open”

I quickly changed into the sweats and T-shirt that JJ had picked out. “There are some of your clothes in my closet.” I pointed. JJ lived with JB and I at this point, he had stuff in every room of the house. He changed as I sat on the edge of the bed, messing and picking at my fingers, a nervous habit that I had picked up somewhere along the way. JJ folded the bed down and motioned for me to get in. I laid down and he started to the door. “Wait “ I said. He stopped after turning the light off. “Can you stay?” I got my answer when I felt the bed sheets move and the bed beside me dip. I took a deep breath, I was laying on my back looking up at the ceiling. “Why are you being so nice to me? I was a total bitch tonight.”

JJ rolled over to look at me. “We all have our nights. You don’t think I haven’t had my share of rebellious moments?” He chuckled. “Now I never did coke or macked on Rafe Cameron, but I had my moments, and I wish someone would have been there to keep me from thinking exactly what your thinking.” He said. His voice was soft. This is the side of JJ that we rarely saw, the side he saved for when it was absolutely necessary.

“Oh, yea? What’s that?” I asked, rolling on my side to look back at him.

“That your a screw up”

I laughed at his comment. “I mean I kinda am. At least after tonight.”

“No. I’m serious. The only one that can give you shit tomorrow is Pope, that boy is a saint.” He laughed to himself. “You know me and John B have screwed up, even Kie with her year going full-kook.” He reached up moving the hair from my face. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes?” I said with caution. We were incredibly close. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or my body, but it was nice.

“Why’d you do it?” A simple question, but one I didn’t want to think about.

“I know why I got drunk and left the group, the rest, I don’t have an answer for, it’s all a blur,” I said. I felt so bad. I felt the tears starting to form in my eyes again. As I blinked they began to fall slowly, “I guess I am sick of JB treating me like a kid. He gets to run around and do whatever he wants. I help pay for the bills, we help each other, we are equals around here. He still thinks he can control me. I love Kie, but she gets the same way like she’s my mother. I know that you all trying to protect me, I get it, but it feels like I’m being suffocated.” I let out a breath, It felt nice to finally get it off my chest. “Even you see me as just a little kid, even though I wish you didn’t.” I quickly covered my mouth. I couldn’t believe I said that.

JJ put his hands on either side of my face, wiping the tears away. “Y/N, I haven’t seen you as just a little kid, in along time.” He chuckled a little at the comment

“Wait, does that mean-”

He cut me off. “We’ll talk in the morning when you have less alcohol in your system.” He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.

“You’re gonna have to get in line.” We both let out a short laugh before JJ pulled me into his chest.

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londonspirit · 3 years

Text

So... I’ve ventured into the wild public last night (well, afternoon) to see Shang-Chi in a cinema!!! With OTHER PEOPLE!!! First time since last year around the same time... felt weird but also soo good.

And so fucking WORTH it!!! I am in love!!! Shang-Chi was insanely good!!! Funny, full of gorgeous action sequences (I mean, I might have stopped breathing every now and then!), adorakable characters which I fell a tiny bit in love with and the most beautiful CGI I’ve seen in ages!!! Of course it does need to be seen more than once, and I’m sure people will find shit to complain about, but I fucking LOVED it!

Im not spoilering shit here, (I try to tag spoilery posts because there WILL BE MANY!), but I loved when that one thing happened and the dude next to me started giggling the same time I did because we both recognized what was about to happen! (I love the MCU for exactly that stuff!!!)!

Overall it was the most perfect start for Phase 4 - it felt fresh and new and exciting and I cannot wait for more!!! I also might be very much enamored with the most adorable Simu Liu - I spent last night with watching all sorts of junkets and GOD, he’s so stinking cute I don’t even know what to do with myself!!! I mean, I KNEW Akwafina would be fun, she always is, but the chemistry between these two in off the charts and I need MORE!! NOW!!! The entire cast was on FIRE and it showed!!! I cannot wait to see it again (hopefully soon on an even bigger screen!)!!! They also made me VERY curious (and a tiny bit worried) about what else is in store... what with Spidey and Strange meddling with time in the future... they better not hurt my babies! (And I’d pay a shitload of money to see Shang-Chi and Spidey together, they’d LOVE each other and would wreak havoc throughout the multiverse...)

So yeah ... *bows head to Marvel* You’ve done it again!!! Bring on the rest of it!

(Also: the music was AMAZING!!! *wanders off to add ‘Hotel California’ to her playlist)

#personal #shang-chi #marvel #mcu #spoilers #sort of #my thoughts

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sambergscott · 4 years

Note

OOH! 🚦im excited

prompt: kissing at red lights + driving mac home for the very first time

He nervously taps his hands against the steering wheel, fiddles with the mirrors and lowers the window, despite the cool October air sending a shiver through his body.

He’s driven this route a million times over - their apartment to the hospital and the hospital back to their apartment. From the early days of their partnership, taking Amy home after she fell and sprained her wrist in pursuit of a perp, to their anniversary last year, holding hands over the central console and discussing their Thai take-out order, to a couple of months back, touring the maternity ward; he knows every pot hole, left turn and shortcut to avoid the crazy New York traffic. But he’s never driven it with a baby before. His perfect, day-old, liquid fire baby. It’s a lot of presh.

He glances at Amy over his shoulder, quadruple checking that Mac’s car seat is secure. She kisses his chubby cheeks and shuts the passenger door, climbing in the front with Jake.

She grimaces in pain as she settles into the seat.

“Still sore?” He asks, even though he already knows the answer. He saw Page 53 with his own eyes.

“Mm-hmm,” she confirms half-heartedly, trying not to complain. Not after they waited so long for this moment. Not after all the vitamins and overly-scheduled sex and nights spent crying into his chest. She’s already told him she’d go through the pain - both physical and mental - all over again to end up with this outcome, to end up with Mac.

(“I could’ve done without having to run an entire precinct on my own during a citywide blackout while in labor, mind,” she added, making him laugh.)

“You’re a freakin’ hero. You did so good, Ames.”

She blushes under his complement and double-tucks and yeah, that still sends his heart into overdrive.

“As soon as my Paternity Leave is up, I’m recommending you for a Medal of Valor. As is Holt. As is Terry. As is Rosa. As is Charles. Hitchcock and Scully still think they saved the precinct by emptying the fridge, but I’ll just forge their signatures or something. You deserve this.”

Mac makes a noise of agreement in the backseat or maybe it’s more of a “hurry up and get home so I can get out of this car seat” kind of thing, but either way, Jake starts the engine.

“I love you so much,” Amy says, her eyes filling with tears.

“Love you so much too,” he responds easily. He can’t believe he ever struggled to say those words, the way it comes so naturally now. He tells her he loves her all the time - at the end of phone calls, on post-it notes stuck on the fridge, in work emails attached to information on a case, at home, when she brings him a coffee or pretends to care about Mario Party, when she wears one of his plaid shirts or on Thursdays when she goes over their weekly budget, her tongue sticking out her mouth in concentration. His heart feels so full, yet his love for her only seems to grow and grow.

His love for the little guy, too.

Every look, every tiny whimper, every time he clenches Jake’s finger in his fist. He may have his dad’s face, but he has certainly inherited Amy Santiago’s incredible everything else.

He goes to press his foot on the gas, but his muscles atrophy, refusing to let him move the metal death-trap and endanger his newest best friend.

He takes a deep breath, reassures himself that it will be fine, that people safely take their babies home from hospital all the time, that they specifically bought this car because of its safety features, and tries again.

Nope.

His leg won’t move.

His brain runs wild with everything that could go wrong. He could fall asleep at the wheel, crash, and die. A drunk driver could swerve towards them, crash, and die. The engine could blow up, causing them to crash, and die.

“Jake, let’s go,” Amy prompts, already missing the weight of their son in her arms.

“I’m scared,” he confesses, eyes squeezed tightly shut. “What if something happens? What if I suddenly forget how to drive? What if the car spontaneously explodes?”

“This isn’t Fast and Furious, Jake. There will be no explosions. We’re just taking our son home.”

“We have so many arch nemeses that might want to hurt him,” he frets. They’ve collectively put away hundreds and hundreds of criminals and the list of those wanting to get back at them is long.

“Then they’ll take one look at his adorable face and change their mind. Come on, if I can push this massive baby out, you can do the 15 minute drive home.”

He nods quickly, looks at Mac one last time, and gently presses the accelerator. For his wife.

He drives at like 20 mph, earning himself a lot of honking horns, middle fingers and shouted curse words in thick New York accents from the queue of cars behind.

“You alright there, Peralta?” She says as he stops at a red light, raising her eyebrows. “You never drive this slow.”

“Got precious cargo in the back,” he explains. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, his knuckles turning white. His eyes are all over the place, his detective intuition seeking out any potential threats. His heart beats faster and faster.

Amy leans over the central console and kisses him tenderly.

It helps.

There’s an angry honk behind them when they miss the light change and he holds his hand up in apology, setting off at a snail’s pace once more.

He stops at 8 more lights, earning a kiss for every block closer to home.

When they finally reach the apartment and he switches off the engine, he leans his head back against the seat, releasing a shuddering breath. “That was the most stressful thing I’ve ever done. And I had to use a prison shower.”

“You’re a freakin’ hero and you did so good,” she repeats his words from before.

He shakes his head. “Driving has got nothing on Page 53, babe.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Page 53 was not fun.” She scrunches up her nose at the memory. “Help me out?”

“Of course, m’lady,” he grins, jumping out of his side and jogging to her door, wrapping his arm around her torso and helping her up.

Amy gets Mac, delighting in the way his eyes light up when he sees her and Jake gets the bags and Baby Boy balloons and locks up the car, following them to the apartment door.

First big dad challenge, nailed.

Maybe he can do this after all.

#my writing #b99 fic #jake x amy #b99 spoilers #I love Mac!!!!!#I will never shut up about him

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jacetorress · 4 years

Text

JACE ISAIAH TORRES ⁏ thirty-four ○ security for lux & elias morgan’s right hand man ○ downtown.

❝ APOCALYPSE BOY, YOU WON’T DESTROY ALL YOU TOUCH. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR DARKNESS AND MORE THAN THE DEATH YOU CARRY IN YOUR HANDS. ❞

⇨ aesthetics ⍮ the scent of fire and gasoline, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, an old punching bag in the corner of an old office, a towering figure shrouded in darkness as they linger in an empty church, bloodied noses and busted knuckles, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, black shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly smirk under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a 1967 chevy impala engine, & a crumpled, worn family photo stuffed inside a wallet.

ALOHA !!! waddup, angels ?? it’s me, back at it again with another character bcos i have zero self control so here i am !! i’ll save you all from having to put up with my pointless babbles and get straight into it. as always, pls feel free to hmu on ims or discord ( chrissie.#9606 ) for plots and connections !!

FUNDAMENTALS.

full name. jace isaiah torres.

current age. thirty-four.

birthday. january 2, 1986.

gender. cisgender male.

pronouns. he / him.

nationality. british.

religion. raised roman catholic but no longer practices.

hometown. knightsbridge, london, england.

past residence. oxford, oxfordshire, england.

current residence. downtown, crystal city, united states.

sexual orientation. heterosexual.

romantic orientation. heteroromantic.

education. attended oxford university for a year before dropping out due to his mother’s passing.

occupation. security at violet, & elias morgan’s right hand man.

CONNECTIONS.

birth mother. katherine torres. †

birth father. alexander torres. †

step-father. nicholas carmichael. †

full blood siblings. none.

step-siblings. none.

maternal grandmother. julia monroe. †

maternal grandfather. andrew monroe. †

paternal grandmother. elizabeth torres. †

paternal grandfather. michael torres. †

maternal aunts. none.

maternal uncles. peter monroe.

paternal aunts. lucilee monroe, & miranda monroe.

paternal uncles. benjamin torres.

PROFICIENCIES.

spoken languages. english, & spanish.

negative traits. cunning, unfeeling, arrogant, cynical, & temperamental.

positive traits. astute, debonair, adroit, resolute, & adept.

strengths. sophistication, etiquette, professionalism, resourcefulness, integrity, delegation, honest, strong-willed, responsible, calm, practical, & a jack-of-all-trades.

weaknesses. impulsive, hot-tempered, stubborn, insensitive, judgmental, & by the book.

skills. skilled with firearms and other weaponry, hand-to-hand combat, lock-picking, carjacking, knowledge of automobiles, knowledge of the law, tracking people down, & excellent critical thinking and problem-solving abilities.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, & marksmanship.

APPEARANCE.

eye colour. dark brown.

hair colour. dark brown.

height. six foot.

weight. 70 kg.

build. both tall and considerably broad, he is toned with an evident definition in his muscles.

scars. too many to count at this point.

tattoos. tba.

piercings. none.

glasses. n/a.

prominent feature. sharp, angular jawline.

MISCELLANEOUS.

zodiac. capricorn.

element. earth.

house. gryffindor.

myers briggs type. istj-a.

alignment. true neutral.

enneagram. type five.

temperament. choleric.

intelligence type. linguistic.

character label. the opaque.

past mental disorders. post-traumatic stress disorder, insomnia, & alcohol abuse.

current mental disorders. mild post-traumatic stress disorder, & insomnia.

addictions. alcohol, & tobacco.

vices. lust, wrath, & pride.

virtues. temperance, charity, & diligence.

allergies. n/a.

diet. carnivore.

accent. british.

dominant hand. right.

blood type. ab positive.

felonies. none.

vehicle. black 1967 chevy impala.

BACKGROUND.

TRIGGERS. car accident, death, domestic violence, drugs, violence, blades, stabbing, blood, & murder.

Born into a world of tenderness and light, Jace's arrival into this universe was a moderately placid one. The instant he opened his eyes to the world, he was a cherished and adored baby boy. This was how the young boy assumed his life would continue to play out: showered with affection and admiration, given endless love and support by both of his parents. With his father, Alexander, a renowned criminal lawyer and his mother, Katherine, an equally as esteemed neurosurgeon, the Torres family were respected, affluent and forefront in their community. Always hosting charity events, attending fancy galas, prominent figures at every fundraiser, the Torres' seemed as normal as just about any aristocratic London-based family. One might just say that Jace was destined for greatness — primed for success. Of course, all eyes of the extended Torres family were on the boy, watching and waiting to see how his story would unfold. Would he follow his father’s footsteps? Or his mother’s? The idea of him paving his own path had failed to cross the minds of them all.

From a young age, Jace had been incredibly intelligent and adept, his keen perception proving to extremely surpass that of his age. He was able to captivate others with both his appearance and his capabilities. Those in his company hung off his every word, often discovering themselves enthralled by a charming and sincere young boy. Regardless of his family’s secured position in society and their abundance of riches, Jace never looked for much more than their approval and their devotion. It is perhaps this fact alone that makes the next chapter in his life one of those unbearable moments that seem to live on for the rest of eternity, an emotion so overwhelming that it lingers in your bones until the end of time — rattling them every so often to remind you of the pain. The tenth instalment in the story of Jace’s life is what he would nowadays refer to as the beginning of the end. All of the light and love that he had encountered throughout his life up until that point had only been leading him to the tragedy and devastation that would prevail from that day henceforth. The night that Jace had been sat down by his mother and told that his father had met his fatal end in a horrific car accident was the same night that Jace lost a piece of himself. A ten-year-old boy endured his first heartbreak then. And, unfortunately, the torment refused to cease. Jace’s existence prior to the horrendous atrocity that altered the very fabric of his nature endured for what would now seem to him a fleeting period in time. Yet, throughout those ten years of normalcy, every transient second aided in concocting the basis for all that was to come.

Within the span of a single year, Katherine had found herself in the clutches of what Jace would grow to describe as a vulture; a man of a lower class who latched onto his mother — leeching off her riches while abusing her in the process. Soon, this man, Nicholas Carmichael, became Jace’s stepfather and things only dipped further south afterwards. Nicholas drank copious amounts of liquor, ran around behind Katherine’s back, smacked at Jace for defending his mother and the list went on. He manipulated Katherine, made her pick a side, tore her relationship with Jace asunder. Nicholas was indeed an angry, offhand man who often resorted to acts of violence toward both Katherine and Jace. During this time, and within the blink of an eye, Jace turned hostile and indifferent. It was as if he had transformed into a polar opposite version of what he’d always been — metamorphosing into an alternate version of his old self. Once a sheltered child who knew nothing but warmth and consideration, Jace was soon neglected, discarded and left to fend for himself. It was enough to turn him into a colder, less vibrant boy who soon became void of emotion and attachment. He picked fights with his stepfather for the sheer kick he got out of it, rebelled against his mother and found his once soft heart hardening as a result of years of enduring torment at the hands of Nicholas.

Unfortunately for Jace, he’d stepped out of line one too many times and aged eleven, he found himself sent off to an all-boys boarding school. In one way, he was thankful to be shot of the horrid creature who claimed to be his stepfather. Yet, on the other hand, he spent sleepless nights worried about the mortality of his mother. All in all, though, his time spent in the educational facility was a positive one. He made friends, excelled in all of his classes and extracurriculars. For the years that Jace boarded at the school, his life seemed to be steering him down the right path. Once he graduated, he’d decided to follow the same path as his father: criminal law. He felt it was the right thing to do in order to honour his father. Jace wound up attending Oxford University where he resided in a dorm, visiting his mother on the weekends. However, as all good things do, they come to an end. In Jace’s case, his few years of bliss and contentedness arrived at a rather abrupt halt, taking a severe nosedive. He was nineteen when he learned of his mother’s passing and, ultimately, lost control of himself and of his path in life. He dropped out of university, moved back home and spent many months alone and aimless; desperate to find answers behind his mother’s suspicious death. Of course, Nicholas was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t even had the decency to show his face at Katherine’s funeral. One thing was for sure, though: he’d walked off into the sunset with the Torres fortune, presumably never to be seen again. The details outlined in Katherine’s autopsy report had been vague and nobody seemed willing to help Jace in his search for answers. Though that did little to deter him from continuing to hunt for the truth behind his mother’s death. Without a shadow of doubt in his mind, Jace knew deep down that Nicholas had been responsible but with no evidence, the idea of justice being served seemed to drift further and further out of reach.

Eventually, after years of fighting and persisting with his mission, Jace was able to uncover concealed elements of Nicholas’ background. As it turned out, the man was involved in gang activity and played a prime roll in drug trafficking throughout the streets of London. Though, still failing to get his hands on any kind of proof of Nicholas’ involvement in Katherine’s murder, a twenty-three-year-old Jace began to ponder if he should continue down this road. Tracking down his stepfather had consumed Jace whole, rotting him from the insides out. For so long he’d been holding onto an immense amount of resentment and wrath that he’d become bitter, hostile and obsessed. He knew it would only end in disaster if he continued to cling onto his vendetta and so for the following year, Jace pressed pause on seeking the truth. At least, until he’d happened upon a new lead that indeed confirmed his assumptions about Nicholas’ role in Katherine’s death. This was the break that Jace had been desperate for — the fuel that added flames to the fire within his belly. With new information and a penchant for revenge, he set off on his previously abandoned purpose.

Admittedly, it had taken Jace months to successfully unearth the exact location of Nicholas and when he did, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the information. Still, he set off for New York City with plans of confronting the man. Part of Jace wanted nothing more than to make his stepfather suffer, to subject Nicholas to torture as appalling as what Katherine had undoubtedly endured. Another part of him wanted to reveal all the little details that he’d uncovered, to tell him he knew what he’d done and watch his stepfather wince in objection and pathetically string one faux apology after another. Neither of these scenarios played out in the end. Instead, Jace’s first encounter with Nicholas after all this time had an entirely different outcome than he’d anticipated. Managing to tail the older man to Lux, Jace decided to linger around outside in the hopes that Nicholas would make an appearance. As fate would have it, only a mere hour had passed and there he was, leaving the building alone; having been removed from the vicinity for hassling one of the dancers. As Nicholas made his way to the back of the club, Jace followed in the shadows. Stood at the edge of the establishment to watch his stepfather from afar, Jace considered the endless possibilities that had entered his mind the second he set eyes on the man who’d destroyed his life.

When Jace eventually approached his stepfather, the look that claimed Nicholas’ face was one of incalculable shock and Jace couldn’t help but feel a twisted sense of pride in how his sheer presence brought about such dismay in the other man. He had to admit though, that it sent a strange twinge of nostalgia mixed together with dejection down the length of his spine. Jace had a collection of cruel words and obscenities he so desperately wanted to hurl the older man’s way. Alternatively, he opted for asking a question that had been haunting his warped mind for almost a decade. “Tell me, Nicholas. Why did you do it? Why did you murder my mother?” The inquiry almost made the other male tumble out of his shell even after he admitted that yes, he had been the one to end Katherine’s life and lacked even a shred of remorse. There was something in Nicholas’ blasé tone of voice that triggered an immediate rage deep within the pit of Jace’s stomach, bubbling and bubbling away, rising up and up until the only colour he could see was red and unfortunately for Nicholas, he was on the receiving end of Ross’ explosion. Moving in a flash, before he knew it, Jace was invading Nicholas’ personal space and the small blade he had been carrying was sunk into Nicholas’ abdomen.

Finally, once Jace had recoiled and his fists that had been balled into the fabric of Nicholas’ jacket eventually unfurled, his dark eyes took in the sight of the elder man’s towering figure collapse to the ground beneath him. Dropping his gaze to his hands, Jace noticed the way that the colour slowly began flowing back into his knuckles that had been white from the thin skin stretching tightly over the protruding bones. Flipping over his uncurled palms, Jace noted the way his hands trembled only marginally less than he expected they would be. It was the shrieking resonating in his ears that brought him to divert his attention toward Nicholas who was writhing around on the ground as a result of his suffering and loss of blood. Jace knew he had to get out of there — that he had to leave before he’d give anyone the chance to flock toward the screams and clap their eyes on his guilty face. As he backed away, watching the actions of his decision unfold, the feeling inside his gut was different than he imagined it would be. He had made the decision to kill Nicholas, there and then in the heat of the moment and it was a gradual and torturous death. A death inflicted by him deliberately, no matter the fact that it wasn’t premeditated. Lacking the desire to stick around and witness Nicholas’ final screech, Jace ran and before he even had the chance to allow any sort of repentance to seep into his body for what he’d just done, a gathering of men stepped out of a dark alleyway in front of him just footsteps away from the scene of the crime. There was something about the way in which they emerged from the darkness that caused Jace to immediately cease in his footfalls and as he briefly surveyed the area he realised there was nowhere left for him to run — there were too many of them and although he tried to fight them off, he was vastly outnumbered.

How Jace had managed to defend himself against the others, able to hold his own and give as good as he got, was beyond him. In the end, he pegged it down to sheer luck. Despite such a fluke, he was far from being out of the woods. Having witnessed the murder of Nicholas and how Jace had been able to stand his ground against the group, the eldest of the group of men had stepped forward to explain that he could use a young man of Jace’s stature and expertise. This was precisely how a then twenty-five-year-old Jace wound up entangled with the Berk-Morgan family. Initially, he was hired as a security for the same club that he’d slaughtered Nicholas outside of. After quite some time as an associate, he befriended Elias Morgan; soon becoming a confidant and someone the other trusted. Of course, the trust was mutual. And this has brought him into the position of becoming Elias’ right hand man. Now thirty-four, with nine years of experience under his belt, Jace is worlds away from the man he used to be. A shell of the man he used to be. Simply put, Jace has resigned himself to the reality that happiness is never going to be an emotion he will feel in his heart. He is closed off and secluded. He is mysterious and holds everyone in his life at arm’s length, afraid to let them in; only permitting people to see what he wants them to see and know what he wants them to know. His life is full of a myriad of memories soaked in blood and torment. A plethora of crooked dealings and immoral acts. But this is his life now and he isn’t prepared to give up the good fight – not after everything he has gone through just to be exactly where he is right now. A fighter has always lived inside of Jace Torres.

WANTED PLOTS.

give me all of the connections from friends, frenemies, enemies, hookups, exes, rivals and everything else in between. added bonus if there’s angst or drama. if you have anything in mind feel free to throw it at me, i’m open to the majority of things and have zero triggers so come at me bro !!

#car accident /#death /#domestic violence /#drugs /#violence /#blades /#stabbing /#blood /#murder /

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etherealwaifgoddess · 4 years

Text

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.3

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: The guys meet up for a casual Sunday farmers market trip but when they get back to Bucky’s apartment things heat up fast. Master list HERE.

Content Warning: basic second base smuttiness; swapping hand jobs and some frottage.

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! I told ya'll there was gonna a lot of smut in this one and I'm starting to deliver as of this chapter :) So please, enjoy some lovely smuttiness on this fine Wednesday evening lol. XOXO - Ash

Chapter Three

“I told you so.” Natasha cheered over their plate of danishes the next morning.

Bucky’s smile was sphinx-like as he nibbled on his pastry, “You did. I’m still not 100% sure he’s not going to just bolt at some point but I think that’s a risk I’m going to have to take.”

“It sounds like a risk worth taking if one kiss has you smiling like that twelve hours later.”

“Ugh, Nat! And for the record, it was more than just one.” Bucky chuckled as Natasha shoved at him playfully.

Across town Steve was helping Sam tidy up in between classes and trying to avoid the grilling he knew Sam wanted to give. They had recapped the last class and personal training sessions and planned out the room for the next group coming in. They went over all the adjustments needed to the next week’s schedule since they were still covering for Thor who was out on paternity leave for the next four weeks now that his wife Jane had the baby. By the time they were setting the last of the kettle bells on the rack they had run out of gym related topics. Sam gave him another side eyed glance and Steve sighed, knowing what was coming.

“So are you still talking to Bucky?” Sam finally asked.

Steve had been reluctant to tell Sam about anything other than their first meeting. He hadn’t even told Sam why he’d bought the new outfit for earlier that week. It was still so new and he was unsure himself of where things were going, or where he even wanted them to go. He figured if in the end he realized he was bi or gay or whatever, then he could tell his friends. But until he was sure there was no point in announcing anything. “I am.” Steve admitted reluctantly.

“And how’s that going?” Sam seemed genuinely interested but Steve still clammed up.

“Good, he’s a good friend. We’ve been swapping memes all week.”

“Nice. See, it all worked out and now you have someone else to send those stupid GIFs from The Office to.”

“Hey, don’t knock one of the best TV shows of all time.” Steve glared pointedly.

“Whatever floats your boat, man.” Sam moved on, heading over to the desk to check the roster one last time before he started pulling out mats for their next class. A small twinge of guilt bit in Steve’s stomach, knowing he had let Sam make a wrong conclusion and hadn’t corrected him. But really, what was the point if he still wasn’t sure of everything himself?

xxXxx

Bucky woke early on the Sunday after their date, restless in a way he hadn’t been in a while. He wanted to see Steve again but it had only been a day. Bucky busied himself with too much coffee and a book while he did laundry in his building's basement, trying to distract himself for a while. By 10am all of his standard keep busy chores were done and he was staring at his phone, trying to make Steve text him by sheer force of will. Giving up he started swiping through Instagram, catching up on his friend’s weekend adventures. Pepper had posted a cute picture of a bouquet she bought at the local farmers market and Bucky realized he had found the perfect reason to text Steve. It was innocent enough and casual so if Steve was busy or declined it wasn’t earth shattering. Plan in place, Bucky fired off a quick text.

Bucky Barnes [10:17:44AM]: hey u. im heading 2 the farmers market in sunset park. gonna stop 4 more of that wine. wanna come?

Steeeeve [10:19:23AM]: Hey! That sounds fun. What time?

Bucky Barnes [10:19:52AM]: headed over now if ur free

Steeeeve [10:20:08AM]: Okay. I just need to throw on some shoes and I’ll head out. I can be there in like 15min.

Bucky Barnes [10:20:33AM]: k see u then

Bucky scrambled to fix his hair and pick a shirt from the pile he’d just brought up. He hadn’t expected Steve to be willing to meet up so quickly and he was still wearing his laundry day sweatpants. He was closer to the market than Steve but he also needed more time to get ready so he ended up getting a “I’m here” text from Steve on his way.

Steve was waiting by a jewelry stand when Bucky caught up with him. He had been wandering around for a few minutes and the display of beaded bracelets caught his eye. They reminded him of the ones Bucky had worn when they first met and he wondered which ones Bucky would like.

“Hey!” Bucky greeted him with a small wave as he approached.

“Hey.” Steve echoed happily. He almost reached out for a hug but something held him back and after a second ticked by he realized he should have just done it but the moment had passed.

“What are you looking at?” Bucky asked, a little disappointed he hadn’t gotten their standard greeting hug and wanting to move on.

“Oh, these things caught my eye while I was browsing.”

“They’re nice. I love the way the translucent ones almost glow.” Bucky picked up one of the vivid pink ones, letting the sunlight hit it from different angles.

“Let me buy it for you.” Steve offered before his brain caught up with his mouth.

Bucky looked skeptically at him, “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to, please?”

“Thanks, Stevie.” Bucky said softly, handing the bracelet over.

Steve blushed at the nickname, ducking his head and walking over to pay the sales girl for the bracelet. Once purchased, he returned it to Bucky who slid it on his wrist next to the two others he was currently wearing.

“Perfect.” Steve praised.

Bucky was looking appreciatively at his newest addition while Steve was looking appreciatively at Bucky. God, he was gorgeous. Bucky was dressed casually in light washed jeans and a dark grey shirt with no one should live in a closet written in fancy script with a wand below it, all in rainbow colors. Leave it to Bucky. “I like your shirt. Harry Potter reference, right?” Steve guessed.

“Yep. I found it at Pride last year and I’m completely in love with it.”

“It’s very you.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment.” Bucky preened for a moment.

Steve chuckled, “Come on, let’s go get some coffee. Altitude Coffee has a little pop up shop back that way.”

Steve and Bucky trailed their way through the bustling farmers market, picking up things here and there. Some they actually needed for groceries, but others were just fun impulse buys. They each had overly full canvas totes by the time they were done, and hauled their finds along with them to the wine shop. They each bought a full box from the shop, having stocked up on a half case of their favorites, which only further slowed Bucky down. While Steve had the muscles and endurance to haul a giant tote and six bottles of wine around the city, Bucky did not.

“Uh, Steve.” Bucky panted out, finally giving up.

Steve looked over and realized Bucky had fallen a few steps behind while he was talking about a winery he had visited while in Canada a few years ago.

“I think I need to tap out.” Bucky admitted while shifting his bag as much as he could to get comfortable.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” Steve shifted his tote higher on his shoulder, wondering if he could sling Bucky’s on next to his. “Here, let me take your bag.” he extended a hand towards Bucky’s bag.

Bucky was conflicted, he wanted to try and at least get his stuff home but Steve probably could carry both without breaking a sweat. Damned muscled god of a man. “How about this? Since I’m the one wimping out, let me call us an Uber. I can probably get us one less than five minutes.”

Steve frowned at the idea of an expensive ride all the back to Park Slope. “You don’t have to do that. I can carry our stuff.”

“If I call us an Uber we could go back to my place and try that baguette and jam I bought.”

“Ooh, that’s a good bribe. I have that cheese I got too.” Steve looked at Bucky for a long moment. An afternoon of good food and even better company was too tempting to pass up. “You sure you don’t mind me coming over?”

“Not at all. It’s a tiny little crap shack of a place, but it’s my tiny little crap shack.”

Bucky was already pulling up the app and ordering them a car when Steve finally said, “Okay, let’s go.”

The Uber ride back to Bucky’s place was barely more than ten minutes and they sat cramped in the back of a Prius with their wine boxes in the trunk and their totes in their laps. Bucky was trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness and shot Steve amused glances every so often, making the blonde have to tamp down his own laughter. By the time they got to Bucky’s apartment Steve practically leapt out of the tiny blue car, grateful to stretch back to his full height again. He insisted on carrying both of their totes and his box of wine bottles up to Bucky’s apartment, leaving Bucky his own wine to carry. Thankfully the building had an elevator and Steve seemed barely phased under the weight of all their stuff. Bucky tried to ignore the filthy thoughts racing through his head of what else Steve was strong enough to do. Like pick him up and fuck him against a wall. Or something. God, Bucky hoped Steve figured things out soon because he was barely through their second date and wanted to climb the man like a tree.

“Home sweet home.” Bucky announced as he swung the door open to his apartment. He flicked on the recessed lighting in the living room and showed Steve to the kitchen where he could put their bags down. It was a cute little one bedroom apartment with a decent sized living room and dine-in kitchen.

“It’s nice.” Steve said looking around as he placed their bags on the faux granite countertop.

“It’s tiny but it works.” Bucky shrugged.

Steve noticed the would be dining room area of the kitchen was set up with a desk and three wide computer monitors instead of a table. “That’s quite a set up over there.”

“Oh, yeah.” Bucky looked embarrassed for a moment, “It’s a little ridiculous, but when you work from home it’s kinda nice to have a sweet setup. When I signed on to work for Stark Securities they gave me a signing bonus so I splurged and bought better equipment and that fancy office chair. It was completely worth it too.”

“Good for you, you deserve it.”

Bucky blushed lightly at the sincerity of Steve’s tone. He nervously spun the bracelet Steve had bought him around his wrist a few times, hoping he wasn’t setting himself for heartache. “So, lunch?” Bucky offered, the momentary tension dissipating.

“Absolutely. Let’s break out that bread you got.” Steve started rifling through his bag for the soft cheese and candied pecans he’d bought while Bucky pulled out the heavy loaf of artisan bread, the little pot of homemade plum jam, and a bottle of Chloe Prosecco he’d bought at the wine shop. The bottle had been adorable with its fancy little bow and the sales girl had said it was a popular choice.

They laid out their feast on a large cutting board, teasing each other about how posh the whole thing was. It was a simple but seemingly elegant lunch spread and Bucky liked that their official second date had a bit of a classy feel to it.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a table or anything for us to eat at.” Bucky waved his hand at his little office space. “I normally just eat on the sofa like a heathen.”

“Honestly so do I.” Steve admitted with a chuckle.

“We can be heathens together then.” Bucky picked up their wine glasses while Steve carried the large tray out to the coffee table where they set up their feast. Flicking through his streaming channels he settled on Disney, knowing everyone loved those movies. “Have you seen the new Beauty and the Beast?”

Steve shook his head, “No, I heard it was good though.”

“Good?” Bucky feigned offense, “Stephen Gilligan Rogers.”

“Not my middle name.” Steve chuckled but Bucky was undeterred.

“BATB is not good. It is iconic. The elaborate costumes, the backdrops, the music, oh my god Steve, the music. We’re watching it. End of subject.” Bucky started up the movie, not even slightly apologetic for his dramatics. One had not lived until they saw Emma Watson as Belle.

Two hours later Bucky was curled up against Steve, watching with misty eyes as the palace furniture turned back into real people as the curse lifted. Steve was completely engrossed in the movie, barely registering that he had been stroking Bucky’s hair for the better part of an hour.

“Now do you see?” Bucky demanded as the credits rolled a few minutes later.

“You were right. That was amazing.” Steve conceded.

“It was always my favorite Disney movie as a kid but seeing it redone in such a perfect way really gets to me. I’ve threatened to dress up as Belle for the past three Halloweens now.”

Steve grinned at the idea, “I think you’d make a beautiful Belle.”

And just like that the air shifted. Bucky was suddenly very aware of how close they were curled up together and the way Steve was looking at him like he’d hung the moon. He didn’t want to rush Steve, he was willing to wait as Steve figured himself out, but if he kept looking at Bucky like that, his timeline needed to hurry up. “You’d make a very handsome beast.” he finally said, going for levity but falling short.

Steve blushed so prettily, his eyes locked on Bucky’s lips, the bottom of which he was chewing on again. Steve knew now it was a nervous tell and it gave him a little thrill knowing he wasn’t the only nervous one. “I think I’d like to kiss you again.” he admitted quietly.

“You don’t have to ask, honey.” Bucky purred, leaning in to press a tender kiss against Steve’s lips.

Steve’s body was shaking with nervous energy as Bucky shifted up onto his knees so he could kiss Steve easier. Bucky tasted like wine and plums and something very uniquely him. It made Steve’s head spin as he chased Bucky’s tongue with his own. The fears and worries over what he was doing died away in that moment, his whole being consumed by his desire for the sweet man who was practically in his lap. Steve still wasn’t sure what it all meant, but he knew he wanted more.

Bucky was so thankful for a repeat of the night on Steve’s couch. Kissing Steve was electric and Bucky couldn’t get enough. The hard planes of his body pressed firmly up against the softer ones of Bucky’s, which only made Bucky more desperate for the close contact. Despite having a thicker build, Bucky felt small next to Steve and he loved it. Feeling brave, and praying desperately that Steve wouldn’t bolt, he swung a leg over Steve’s lap and sat himself atop Steve’s thighs. “Is this okay?” he asked once he was settled.

“Yeah.” Steve shuddered, “Yeah, it’s fine.” Steve let his hands come to rest on Bucky’s thick thighs on either side of his smaller ones. While Steve’s thighs were hard with well earned muscle, Bucky’s had natural musculature and a softness to them that had Steve wanting to sink his fingers into their plush expanse. Bucky had gone back to kissing him while his mind wandered and Steve decided to give Bucky’s thighs an exploratory squeeze. For science really, just to see if he would feel anything. The kissing so far had been fantastic but Steve worried they’d eventually hit a point where everything went to hell and he realized he was most definitely straight. And then he’d lose Bucky forever.

Bucky made a light huffing sound when Steve sunk his fingers into the soft meat of his thighs. He was thankful Steve was getting a little braver and decided to run his hands up and down the length of Steve’s ridiculously muscled chest and stomach in a tentative exploration of his own.

A choked noise made its way out of Steve’s throat as Bucky touched him with feather light hands. He wanted to rip his shirt off and give him all the access he wanted. But he was taking things slow, Steve reminded himself. Unfortunately, not all parts of Steve got that memo.

Bucky had shifted a bit trying to sprinkle kisses along the sharp edge of Steve’s jaw when he accidentally brushed against an unexpected guest. “Oh, shit, sorry.” he blurted out, moving back an inch so he wasn’t pressed against the, frankly enormous, erection in Steve’s pants.

Steve blushed from the tips of his ears all the way down his throat. “No, I’m sorry. I guess I got a little carried away.”

Bucky glanced down at the tenting of Steve’s pants. Damn, he wanted to get his hands on Steve like yesterday. “I could, uh,” he cleared his throat roughly, “help you. With that.” Steve looked at him with wide bright blue eyes, so open and unsure, that Bucky started backpedaling all in a rush, “Or not, we can stop. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

Steve just grinned and leaned in to kiss Bucky again, his motions almost questioning. “I think I’d be okay going a little further this time.” he said quietly against Bucky’s mouth.

Bucky squeaked involuntarily at Steve’s words. He was now dealing with his own growing problem at the idea of getting to fool around a little with Steve. “If you’re sure. We can stop at any time.” he promised. It would probably kill him, but if Steve said stop at any point he would be off him in a second.

“I trust you, Buck.” Steve told him, brushing a strand of hair back behind Bucky’s ear.

Bucky wanted to melt at the trust Steve had in him. He was too good to be true and Bucky just had to hope it would all work out. Gay or straight or somewhere in between, Steve Rogers was an absolute dream partner. Bucky shifted himself forward a little so the hard length in his pants could rub against the one in Steve’s while they kissed a little more. Bucky let his hips rock a little as they moved, giving them both a little bit of tortuous friction.

Steve was panting like he’d run a marathon, and he knew this from personal experience when he and Sam had run the New York City Marathon a few years back as publicity for their gym. He’d never thought making out on a sofa would have quite the same effect but life had been full of surprises for him lately. The friction against his dick felt amazing and there was a naughty little zing of arousal knowing it was from Bucky’s erection rubbing against his. He would never have expected to enjoy that so much but there he was, fighting for self control like a horny teenager. He wanted to get Bucky off too and not just selfishly sit back and let Bucky take care of him. Steve was well acquainted with getting himself off and really how different could it be doing it to someone else? He was feeling bold and brash, knowing a hand was just a hand and really he had to start somewhere. “I think I’m ready for more.” he spoke up in between heated kisses.

Bucky paused, jaw hanging open in shock. “Like, more more?”

Steve nodded rapidly. “Like second base more?” He held his breath, waiting for Bucky to process what he’d just asked for.

“God,” Bucky heaved out a breath, “You’re gonna be the death of me. Yes, second base, yes. Get those pants off, Rogers.” He stripped his own shirt off eagerly while Steve just sat there, amused.

“I kinda have this gorgeous guy on my lap at the moment.” he teased.

“Sorry!” Bucky yelped, hopping up so Steve could pull his pants down and off, quickly followed by his tee shirt. He sat in just his boxer briefs on Bucky’s sofa, looking like every Calvin Klien ad fantasy Bucky’d ever had come to life. “Jesus.” he whispered harshly. Bucky couldn’t get his own pants off fast enough, leaving him in his own silky boxers to resume his perch on Steve’s lap.

Unconfined by pants Bucky got a better feel of Steve’s cock and he was thanking every saint he could think of for what was about to happen. He shifted himself closer to Steve, his thighs spreading wider, and he reached down to give Steve’s cock a tentative squeeze over top the soft cotton of his underwear.

“Ohh.” Steve gasped out, his body trembling once again. His eyes were glued on Bucky, not wanting to miss a moment. He was so handsome sitting on Steve’s lap. His long hair shining in the afternoon sun that flooded in the glass balcony doors, his lightly tanned skin decorated with a series of finely detailed tattoos. While his muscles weren’t hard and cut like Steve’s, Steve loved the slight softness of the other man’s body, giving him something to sink his fingers into along his sides. It felt nice, and right, and Steve realized in that moment he was more invested in what was about to happen than he had been for most the sexual encounters he’d had with Peggy. It was startling but Steve pushed it down to deal with another day. In the moment, all that mattered was Bucky.

“Can I?” Bucky asked, trailing his fingers along the waistband of Steve’s boxer briefs.

“Yeah. Can I?” Steve echoed, tugging at the silky material at Bucky’s hip.

“If you’re sure.” Bucky prayed silently that having an actual cock in his hand wouldn’t send Steve running for the hills.

But it didn’t. Steve pulled his underwear off when Bucky hopped up to do the same and he was all nervous excitement when Bucky resumed his perch. He hadn’t thought of what to expect but Steve was blatantly staring at the thick length of Bucky’s dick. It was shorter than his own, but Steve had already known he was considered a bit above average, and it was girthy in a way that made Steve wonder if he topped or bottomed. Because, Steve thought with amusement, these were things he had to consider now. But not right away. They would take things slow and he would see if this was even something he wanted to try. Steve reached out a hand to test the weight of Bucky’s dick in his palm. He slid his hand up and down for two quick strokes, testing how doing that made him feel and was pleasantly surprised that it was a pretty familiar act. The way Bucky hissed out a sharp breath and craned his neck back, eyes shut tight, made Steve’s own dick jump for attention. Oh, this was kind of fun. Steve moved his hand for another few stokes, enjoying the way Bucky’s body reacted so blatantly to the pleasure. It was easy to get him worked up like that and Steve was genuinely enjoying himself watching Bucky become a desperate, needy thing in his lap, thrusting a little into Steve’s fist.

“God. Fuck. Stevie, slow down.” Bucky pleaded. “I wanna take care of you too, honey. Can I? Please?”

“Okay.” Steve acquiesced, bracing himself for the pressure of Bucky’s hand around his dick.

Bucky eagerly wrapped his fist around the hard length of Steve’s cock, sliding it up and down the impressive length until Steve gasped. He leaned forward to kiss Steve from his jaw down his neck to his collarbones while he groped him fervently between their two overheated bodies. For as simple as it was, it was absolutely exquisite. “How you doing, Stevie?” Bucky prompted, wanting to check in to ensure Steve was still on board. He rested his forehead on Steve’s shoulder, waiting patiently for him to respond.

“So good.” Steve managed to moan out. “This is amazing.”

“Wanna try something even more amazing?” Bucky grinned devilishly. “Just hand stuff, promise.” he added for reassurance.

“What can be better than this?” Steve questioned but motioned for Bucky to go ahead with whatever he had in mind.

Carefully, Bucky shifted forward one last time, pressing as close to Steve as humanly possible making his over stretched thighs burn in the process. He slipped his hand from Steve’s cock and lined it up with his own, wrapping his fist around them both the best he could. He gave them a quick stroke, reveling in the sensation and waiting to see if Steve would enjoy it too.

Steve’s whimper was a good sign. “Please.” he begged, “Please, please do that.”

Bucky picked up the motion again, rhythmically pumping them in his fist. Steve was making little broken ahh sounds, unable to keep up with the pleasure thrumming through his body, and it spurred Bucky on to bring them both racing towards their release.

Steve could feel the pressure building, his body was on fire and he could barely bite out a warning to Bucky as he felt his orgasm ripping through him. A half formed “I’m g-” was all the warning Bucky got before Steve was spilling all over his hand and cock. Watching Steve come undone, the pure bliss on his face, had Bucky following him over the edge of his own climax seconds later. His body shook hard as he spilled over his hand and across the rippled muscles of Steve’s abs.

Steve’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes shining, and Bucky mused he probably looked about the same. Steve was so stunning sitting there with a wide, lazy blissed out smile on his face. Bucky giggled a little realizing how incredibly lucky he was. Steve really was just perfection.

“What?” Steve asked, joining in Bucky’s infectious laughter.

“You’re perfect.” Bucky admitted, speaking what was on his mind.

“And you’re beautiful.” Steve leaned up to push Bucky’s hair back where it had fallen forward in his face. He pressed two chaste kisses against his lips before pulling back, feeling a little extra affectionate in his post-orgasmic haze.

Bucky made a muffled mmph sound, leaning into Steve, just wanting to be close for a moment. “We made quite a mess.” he said finally, the squidgy feeling of their come between their stomachs not exactly a pleasant one.

“We should clean up.” Steve agreed.

“Come on, I have some wet wipes in my room.” Bucky lifted himself up off of Steve’s lap, suddenly cold without their skin to skin contact.

Steve noticed his shiver and as soon as he was standing, he pulled Bucky close against him in a warm embrace.

Bucky basked in the warmth, his brain effectively turning to mush again at how sweet Steve was. “You spoil me.” he whispered against Steve’s firm pecs.

Steve dropped a kiss on top of Bucky’s head, “You deserve to be spoiled.”

It took every bit of willpower in Bucky to pull back and lead Steve down the hall to clean up. He could have stayed wrapped in Steve’s arms forever, sticky cooling mess on his stomach be damned. They exchanged quick, adorably awkward glances at each other as they cleaned up. Both wanting to get a more detailed look now the heat of the moment had passed. Steve tossed his wipes in the wastebasket by Bucky’s dresser and then pulled Bucky close by his hips, “You really are so beautiful, Buck.” he told him softly.

Bucky had been careful to wall up his heart when he decided to give Steve a chance. He didn’t want to risk another heartbreak less than a year after what he’d been through with Brock. But Steve’s sweet words and affectionate touches had the walls crumbling a little despite Bucky’s best defenses. “Careful.” he teased with a pang of truth to his words, “You’re gonna ruin me for all other men, you keep this up.”

Steve chuckled and kissed the top of Bucky’s head yet again. There were so many things he wanted to say in that moment. Raw, honest things that ached in his chest. But Steve kept them inside, not willing to let down his guard so completely just yet. He still didn’t really know what he was doing but damned if he wasn’t loving every second of it so far.

“Come on you, let’s get dressed.” Bucky said finally, tugging Steve’s hand into his and leading him back down the hall.

Steve left shortly after they’d redressed and cleaned up the mess from their lunch. It was a long, drawn out goodbye in the doorway, neither one of them really wanting to part despite knowing they both had to get on with their usual Sunday routines. Steve promised to text Bucky once he’d made it home, insisting he would have no trouble carrying his tote and box on the subway. And then he was off down the hall, looking back just once before he got on the elevator and wishing he could have stayed. Bucky walked over to his glass balcony door, watching the street below as Steve crossed it heading toward the nearest subway station. He was trying not to get too attached but after the day they’d spent together, Bucky knew it was a losing battle.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #idiots in love #confused steve rogers #gay bucky barnes #modern day au

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mysmedrabbles · 5 years

Text

RFA+Minor Trio Reacting to an MC in the Mafia

requested: y e s

a/n: listen,,,,, im a huge sucker for mafia au’s ,, and perhaps i’ll upload a full story with all of them on Patreon! So stay tuned for that one! Definitely more mafia AU type things coming soon though if you want to see more mysme mafia and want to support my work, feel free to buy me a coffee!

warnings: vanderwoods is really good

-Prohibition-Era Italian Mafia mod Alex

Jumin

- corporate heir of a multi-million won company married to the runaway child- now mafia member? my god what a cliche

-it’d originally been a few weeks before he’d planned to propose when he suddenly realized that he had... never actually met your family? He’d always figured that you’d tell him when you felt comfortable enough, or when you felt like it, but he genuinely wanted to propose, to marry you and make you his, however he felt he needed your fathers approval, something.

-he’s surprisingly calm when you tell him the truth, that you’d run away from home at a young age and upon asking for a job at the local bar, as anything, someone who works in the back and does inventory, trash person, anything, you’d found out that this bar was a front for a mafia organization, who’d promptly adopted you and taken care of you ever since

-you’re not sure what kind of reaction you expected from him, but you receive none, only an understanding nod and a question, same as before, “Can I meet them?”

-the next day you take him down to where you work, a lovely little rustic bar downtown.

-he notices as you visibly relax when you take him into the back, smile spreading on your face as you greet various members cheerfully, a reluctant grin, changing to a threatening frown when they noticed Jumin holding your hand and following you to the back

-you’re not expecting the meeting to go well, pacing around the door, where your boss, is privately speaking to Jumin, hand placed firmly on your grip of your gun, finger threateningly over the safety lock, ready to fire if something bad went down

-so you’re exceedingly surprised when the two come back out on an embrace, chuckling as they greet you. waving the two of you off with a genuinely kind smile, you turn to Jumin, demanding an explanation as you get back into the car.

- “Jumin?????” you gesture wildly, inviting the explanation.

- “Yes dear? - Home, Driver Kim please” he nods in Driver Kims direction.

-He gives no explanation, knowing it’s going to drive you insane, only says, “We’re having dinner with your family next week by the way.”

-corporate mafia family

Jaehee

-her dream, to own her own cafe, with you! her love, her joy, her future wife!

-so she can’t understand you when you’re extremely hesitant to leave your job, what looked like a? boring bartending job?

-she knew there was something you weren't telling her, and she ends up figuring it out herself, putting two and two together, using various news reports about the bar, mixed with information (or lack thereof) of the manager of the place

-she stomps up to you in a cold but angry manner, and thrusts a piece of paper in your hands, a list of collected evidence. “Tell me you’re not part of a gang MC.”

-her voice is scarily cold, but hints of tears that threaten to swallow her whole still manage to reflect through her voice.

-you explain your story, the whole ordeal since you ran away until you found the job, to how they all took care of you, and hey its not like you were the most powerful one, you were moreso like the little sibling of the group, still having skills but never in any direct danger.

-she doesnt speak to you for two days, “contemplating the information” (aka making you feel guilty for hiding this)

-when she sees just how broken down and sad you are as you get into bed, movements sluggish as you flop into the comfort of your shared bed, it finally makes her realize that,, this was something you had chosen as a child and even if she wasn’t okay with it, it wasn’t her choice to make. This was your family and she had to respect that.

-biting on the inside of her lip, she slips next to you, pulling you towards her silently. resting your head on her chest, you look up at her hopefully, “does this mean I’m forgiven?”

-the ghost of a smile graces her face as she closes her eyes, “We’ll see tomorrow. Lets sleep for now y/n.”

-when jaehee meets the crew its a lovely spring night and,, well,,,, basically they end up scared of her and you’ve never been more in love with the woman sitting across from you at the dinner table

Yoosung

-nonononononono his sweet baby angel cant be in the mafia

-the fact that you’re you know,, a part of the mafia doesn’t even register in yoosungs brain, his main concern is that you’ll get hurt, that something will happen to you in the line of duty and you won't come home

-you assure him that you’re mainly the person who talks to the targets beforehand, gathering intel and helping prepare for the missions

-you dont necessarily tell him much about anything or anyone, preferring to keep him in the dark, for his own safety

-of course you’d mentioned Yoosung to Byung-Hee, the mafia boss and your paternal figure, but he’d never thought much of Yoosung; that is until Yoosung bursts into the storage rom of the bar, and with around 15 different guns pointed at him, he threatens Byung-Hee, that if he ever dare let anything happen to you, he’d come in and kill him himself, using his medical knowledge to make his death look like an accident

-Byung-Hee is,, amused. Yoosung is not threatening in the least, but the dedication it took to march into mafia headquarters uninvited and threaten the leader while thirteen different people had their guns trained directly at him,,, shit takes guts

-All he does is nod, extending his hand to shake Yoosungs, who is,, extremely confused. When Yoosung’s hand reached Byung-Hees however,, the boss yanks Yoosung close, whispering in a threatening manner that if h e ever hurt you, he’d kill him in the most painful way possible and no one would ever know

-needless to say as soon as he gets back home, the adrenaline rush fades and runs directly into your confused embrace as he cries, mumbling something about how you’ll always be safe and his promises

Seven

-sjdhfskjdfh bitch you think you’re dangerous? i’m part of the mf mafia

-he never found much about you when he looked you up, only records that existed were report card grades in elementary and middle school, but past that it was as if you’d fallen off the face of the earth; no credit cards, social media accounts, guilty 2 am internet purchases, not even so much as a water and power bill or an address, until you suddenly reappeared three years ago, but it’s still not much

-the two of you drive the rest of the messenger to insanity, and even your FBI agents are sick of see your texts to each other, questions masked in playfulness, both trying to get the truth out of each other. Nothing making sense except to the two of you

-often he’ll poke you awake in the middle of the night, glasses slipping down his nose rapidly as he pesters you with incoherent questions about your past; but all you do is shift, intertwining your legs with his and pushing him back down to the bed, placing your head on his chest as you go back to sleep

-its around six months later post having moved in together when the two of you when you decide enough is enough. the truth had to come out sometime no? the two of you gather all the fast food and snacks you can, and facing each other sitting cross legged on the couch, no interruptions, you take turns firing questions at each other, answering them no matter how hard it might have been

-his reaction to you being in the mafia is at first, concerned. because he knows how mafias operate, and the last thing he would want is for a client to come into his job and for your gang to be the target that needs to be eliminated.

-his next question is what level of illegality do you operate at?

-with your response being an even 5, he presses for more. you explain how you take funds from the rich, expose the businessmen who steal from the company’s funds, bribe and threaten powerful congresspeople to pass better laws to help the poor, the basic steal from the rich, give to the poor type deal

-he listens intently, the story of how you got to this point completely capturing him. he never thinks badly about you; in a way you guys were helping out the world. if he spins it the right way, its almost like the two of you are doing the same job, just different methods

-work buddies! while he hacks and does his work for the agency, you’re right there sitting next to him trying to learn all you can about your next target and making a detailed plan, on constant call with Hyun Ki and Hyun Shik, dubbed the “intelligence twins.” When you’re getting visibly stressed he reaches over, gently squeezing your hand reassuringly as he breaks out the HBC for the both of you to take a short break, and when he gets stressed you do the same.

-finally having a place to rant about work, of course neither of you can ever disclose the targets names, but its still good to get things off of your chest

-honestly the only thing he has trouble believing is that you’re an actual bartender. “yes seven, i actually went to school to get my certificate for this” “why u always lyyyiiinn”

-when he sees something on the news, another politician knocked down from the public eye, a mysterious amount of money donated to the local orphanage, he makes sure to congratulate you, genuinely grinning as he picks you up to kiss you, proud of his s/o

-if you’re chosen to do some first hand intel, go down and charm someone into signing x y or z paper or get them to a secondary location, he uses his own skills to keep an eye on you and make sure nothing bad happens

-when its time to meet the family, he goes in jokes ablaze, making what was supposed to be a refined mafia dinner at an upscale restaurant a comedy center,, and the lack of fear on his behalf frankly amuses the boss. sevens a mess the whole dinner. he observes the similarities between the gang and the RFA, both having the same familial dynamic between each other, a kind of comfort and complete happiness.

-of course as soon as you get married he instantly becomes a part of the family as well

-they hate him. like,,, they love him but also hate him.

-terrible jokes from his part; “hey y/n can you take care of this client for me? here kind of a dick but i’m not allowed to say anything. it'd be great if,,,, something happened to their money”

-he knows you’d never do it to anyone that doesn’t deserve it but its a funny bit that keeps the two of you sane

Zen

- “absolutley not mc”

-he hates your job already, working at a bar in downtown, but the fact that its just a Front for a Mafia gang? that you’re a Part of?

-absolutely not.

-he springs into protective mode instantly, launching himself into a long rant on how he’s going to get you out of there, you dont need to worry because you dont have to be there, no matter what dirt they have on you, what you did in the past, he still loves you and he’s going to help you no matter what it takes

-meanwhile youre sitting there watching him pace around, trying not to burst out laughing

-when you explain to him that they’re quite fair, a robin hood type deal made of people who grew up poor, people who were cheated by the government and were forced into poverty, broke their way through the ranks and were trying to help others that were currently in their situation, taking from the rich, bribing businessmen in high power to put forward better laws for consideration, dropping money on random peoples doorstep, all under the cover of anonymity.

-he sits on this for a while, trying to digest what you’d just said. as much as he hates it, he empathizes with the situations that brought you there, and his opinion of this gang has,, drastically changed

-he’s still wary of your safety, hence you suggest he meet the members himself

-bringing out all the toughness he can muster, he strides in with you at his side, cooly talking to the intelligence twins, Hyun Ki and Hyun Shik. He meets others, Jae-Sang and Byung-Hee, and they accept him into the family surprisingly quickly

-he gets along with everyone,, r e a l l y well

Saeran

-nervous boye

-he doesn’t want you to get hurt, but he understand your reasoning as to why you started in the business of money laundering, understands better than most

-he listens to your story, about the way you ran away and straight into the arms of Byung-Hee, who offered you a job. With no other choice you joined, but eventually warmed up to the idea, and now you love them like family

-of course, he cant help but call you during your lunch break, needing to hear your voice and make sure you’re okay, that you haven't been killed or turned into a murderous member

-a part of him does think its somewhat cool, especially the fact that you willingly got in and can belong to a group like this and not be you know,, abused traumatized and poisoned repeatedly.

-when he finally meets them, he barely musters a word or two, but as time goes on, he gets increasingly comfortable with them. if you trust them, he trusts them.

-he cant go through this cult mafia shit again bro

-it takes a lot of reassurance that the boss is actually fair, and even proving to him that you guys dont do others harm, nor do you forcibly recruit people

-you tell him about how they took you in as a scared and alone high schooler, essentially adopted and raised you, gave you a job, a roof over your head and urged you to do what you want in life

-of course theres the thing that you cant officially leave them, so technically you are trapped there, but they took pity on you, looking at you as a little sibling, and at most they only make you gather intel or have you as the driver

-he’s not the most calm about it, but he understands that they’re your true family, and he tries his best to get along with them, trying to view the members as multiple brothers sisters and or parents instead of,,, dangerous mafia members

-he seems extremely calm and chill whenever you guys all go for dinner, very professional and sleek, but in reality he’s trying not to run into the restroom and escape through the window

Vanderwood

-you started off as his client, the one he were supposed to gather intel on and report back to the boss, find his way to your own boss and kill him

-so when Vanderwood found out that you were also the rfa he felt like the luckiest man in the world

-he pretty much always hangs out in the bar during your shift, trying to overhear any useful information; but damn he never expected you to look,, like that.

-week after week, he finds himself enraptured in your beauty, buying water after water, trying to be smooth as he talks to you

-he convinces himself that the little flutter he gets whenever you smile, when your fingers momentarily touch his as you give him yet Another glass of water no ice,, your focus when you experiment with different drinks, the way you get ridiculously excited when said experimental drink turns out good, immediately giving Vanderwood a glass,,, missions,, weren't supposed to be like this right?

-he pries, asking about your boss, but its the adoration of which you speak of Byung-Hee that breaks him, the gestures you make as you talk about him like family

-he skulks back to base, head running wildly. he knows he can’t let you go, he cant fall in love with a client, however he can't bring himself to bring you or your family harm.

-trying desperately to regain his composure, he spins a story how the original intel he received must have been wrong, because there was no hidden agenda behind the bar. He makes up a lie how he went through the bank statements, hacked the system, did it all, but the bar was 100% clean

-he knows he can never go back, to you, but just protecting you will have to be enough

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girlwiththegreenhat · 4 years

Note

thoughts on ur favorite drink? ur favorite art program? thoughts on keeping a sketchbook? on any pets you have?

HELL yeah thanks for the ask i hope u like tangents on tangents and run on sentences because just like my blog description says, I Do Not Shut Up!

favorite type of drink: crystal pepsi

every fucking year i email the Bepsi company and ask when this god damn drink is coming back. last year? literally spent almost all of 2019 moving house, and i got no crystal pepsi anywhere in that time. now it’s 2020. there’s a plague. and the world is burning. and there’s still no fucking crystal pepsi. the moral of the story here is, as soon as pepsi brings back The Good Shit, everything can be nice again. i am .3 seconds away from breaking into pepsi HQ in the midst of this Rioting Chaos just to steal the Crystal Pepsi recipe from their fat stupid noses and start making it myself. I will market it as... Creestöl Bepsi.

oh wait im supposed to talk about the drink, right, shit’s good yo. you know how all clear sodas taste vaguely the same? they all taste like Clear Drink? this is like Clear Drink in it’s purest form. it is the Clearest Drink. with the most Clearest Drink taste. and thanks to it’s (formerly) limited annual runs at the end of summer it literally tastes like nostalgia. I have left the house like twice in the last three months but if they brought back crystal pepsi i would march out of my house like its on fire (wearing a mask of course) and buy every fucking bottle i could find, life savings be damned

so anyway yeah crystal pepsi’s good i guess

favorite art program: begrudgingly, photoshop

adobe may be a greedy bitch baby company who doesnt actually let you buy their software outright but damn,,, photoshop Nice,,, hehehehe,,, i can do so Much with it it’s such a multitool of a program,,, i just upgraded to the 2020 version in february and there’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many more brushes than there were in the 2014 version, and most of them are actually really useful!! i’m living for this guy’s brushes, uh, kyle?? yeah, kyle t. webster. now THAT guy knows how to make some brushes. i’ve been using the same ones for like six years but he’s got this GORGEOUS lineart brush i’ve been using and dear god i love it too much to ever go back. I Will Never Go Back. AND I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT LIKE, BLEND BRUSHES?? there are ones that perfectly emulate real pencils thanks to how photoshop handles brushes, it even wears out and widens with use (you can choose how fast...) and you can TILT your STYLUS to USE THE BROADER SIDE OF THE “LEAD”??? LIKE?? A REAL PENCIL???? still blows my mind,, photoshop’s brush engine is fucking amazing,,

Thoughts on keeping a sketchbook?

sketchbooks are great and i envy people who have those really nice, blank-page sketchbooks with the little rounded corners on each page? and they always fill them with studies and life drawings,,, its so Aesthetic,,,

meanwhile im adamant for some damn reason to do most of my drawings on lined paper still. not the serious ones, but if im doodling, or just doing a sketch i intend to finish in photoshop? composition notebook. i have Dozens of Actual sketchbooks, but those are so nice... i don’t want to fill them with stupid meme drawings and things i wont finish and things i draw Badly and things that i Will finish but not There. i’m glad im not going to college cuz i always hear “oh you have to submit your sketchbooks” im like haha What cuz my sketchbooks,,,, are probably some of the most unprofessional, badly organized, unfinished messes out there,,, like i do studies but it’s all on lined notebook paper and half-destroyed composition notebooks because at the end of 8th grade everyone was throwing out their unused or slightly used school supplies and there was a WHOLE RECYCLING BIN FULL OF COMPOSITION NOTEBOOKS?? MOST OF WHICH ONLY HAD THE FIRST LIKE 15 PAGES FILLED OUT IF THAT???? SO I JUST KINDA. RAIDED IT?? i havent bought lined paper in 8 years and all the school supplies i looted out of the garbage that day carried me all the way through high school. i bought maybe one notebook in highschool, that was it. i think i literally trash picked a lifetime of lined paper,,,

,,, anyway i have a Nice Sketchbook (no lined paper!) ive been toting around since sophomore year of high school. it’s still got printouts taped to it from supernatural and doctor who and black rock shooter. this was seven years ago, i still use it when i want to use Nice Paper, and only now am i approaching the last pages. i also have a separate sketchbook i decided to start using for concept art and sketches for my webcomic i will never actually start working on! that one’s about as professional as i get, it’s full of robot designs and sketches of scenes. its fun.

i am not a real artist aslkdfkljdfskjldsfkjl

Thoughts on any pets you have?

i love me pets! they are not my pets they are my parents pets but i take care of them more so who cares. i love them. i love all three doggos even if Gigi is an old lazy fart that doesn’t care about anything that isn’t sleeping, food, going outside, or bellyrubs. she doesn’t even listen to you if you call her or tell her to do something. i dont know what her deal is. and gemma!! is a depressed muppet. she’s probably just getting old herself even though she’s only,,, seven. we got a third dog and she never got over it. she is still my favorite though, she’s adorable and i love her little under bite and her big goofy eyes that don’t have a single thought or braincell behind them. she floofy and snuggley and a big ol scardey cat who always comes into my room for hours when there’s a Loud Sound outside which is great because i cant sleep when something else is alive in my room and its not me but whatever i cant say no to her, especially now that we’re both on the same floor and i would probably take a bullet for this funky lil fuzzball.

speaking of the third dog that is kiwi i post more pictures of her than anyone else for some reason but she’s a cute lil goblin. i mean what is this thing. what is it!! im not even entirely convinced its a dog, i think its a weird lil alien that knows what a dog looks like and that’s it

what is this thing!! dont know!! she’s plotting though!! i have never seen Thoughts happening in a dogs head before but she Knowes Things. she learned how to slap the other dogs. 80% of the time if you point a phone at her she stops moving because she somehow understands the concept of a “Camera.” she’s a little chaos bagel. a chaos bagel with a critical case of The Zoomies and a burning hatred of feet

we also have a budgie named olive. he’s pretty, but quiet

#liz blogs #ask meme #ask #serialsharkgay #ty for the ask... i love to ramble..... and i have So Many Thoughts All Of The Time.......#dogs #my dogs #long post #one day im going to edit tiny flames into kiwi's eyes because its funny #just get a gif of fire and photoshop it in there

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caracalfeather · 4 years

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WARNING- Cats and Birds is a mob AU fanfiction of the Arcana game, and is not meant for young audiences and is not meant to offend anyone. Some writing choices were made so characters are out of their canon way of acting and thinking. Please do not be offended by character choices made by the authors and content creators, this story was made for fun and in the way we wanted it to be. The story was not hijacked by any of the authors to make any ships or characters overshadow any other. All content contained in this story has been agreed upon and accepted by all parties in it’s creation.

TW- Cats and Birds contains scenes that may not be suitable with some readers, including themes of violence, smoking/drug use, sex, cursing and various other strong themes. Special warnings for scenes will be posted with chapters. Proceed with caution and Reader’s discretion is advised.

12 part 1

The streets seemed to be crawling with mobsters that hot day, some blended well with random crowds while others were obviously searching for something. Three families were in the raven’s territory, all armed and ready for a fight.

Portia got word first, Julian was out for the entire day. She ran to Bèa and ordered a full scale lockdown of The Nest.

“Lock everything! I don’t care! No one gets in or out!” She barked.

Everyone followed orders. No one questioned Portia. She opened the door to her brother’s room.

The one thing he held dear jumped up startled by the sudden blaring of alarms.

“Wh-what’s going on?” She asked, Madeve standing up with her.

“We’re on lockdown, some goons are trying to overrun The Nest. Just stay here, turn off the lights and stay hidden.” Portia said, pulling out her keys, Lyra nodded.

“Madeve come! You’ll guard outside.” Portia waved to the dog and he followed, giving Lyra a short woof of encouragement.

As soon as she heard the key turn the lock Lyra followed instructions and hid in the actual bedroom of the large room.

Outside, trucks and cars had surrounded the nest, many armed men with gold ram symbols stood around, yelling and throwing bricks at the windows, one fired his gun at the door, sparking rage in the men as they surged forward.

“HOLD THEM BACK!” Bèa shouted. Not noticing the group that was starting to make their way around back. The siege was all a distraction.

Portia called her brother to tell him the situation. “Ilya! We’re getting raided! You better get your ass down here fast otherwise we’re all gonna die!”

The front windows shattered as the door was rammed, more firing sounding outside. Some men had started to aim for the higher levels while one revved a truck.

Lyra tried to keep calm, rubbing the sapphire on her collar.

“Stay calm….” she breathed

“Stay calm.”

Portia retreated some of the forces inside, deciding they had to pick them off one by one. Portia cocked her pistol and hid behind a wall. Waiting for the trespassers to enter.

The door was busted down and a surge of men entered, carrying heavy artillery and revolvers. Antonio had made sure they were well stocked with vests and guns. Some immediately surged upstairs as the others opened fire.

“CAN WE COME TO A COMPROMISE?!?!” Portia shouted over the gunfire. “You obviously want something from my brother and he’s not here right now! But why don’t you tell us what you want!”

Madeve paced like a lion between the two other guards who stood at the ready.

The men didn't care about portia or the others. They simply were told to kill and grab the target from her nest. Upstairs a group began to shoot the guards and yell for lyra.

Madeve barked and charged avoiding bullets best he could. The other guards dodged a few but were no match. Portia hasn’t expected them to get that far.

Lyra heard the muffled gunshots outside, she covered her mouth and gasped into it.

Curling up on the bed in fear. She hoped Julian would arrive soon.

It wasn’t looking too good for the Raven’s nest.

Outside, Antonio watched from his seat on a car hood, chuckling to himself “That's it my boys.” Next to him two slender white hounds emerged and ran inside, his hunting dogs were going to fetch a new fur coat for him. He knew they could do it. He smirked “Fetch my babies. While I wait for the main show to come home.”

She could hear the handle. The game was up.

Lyra stood up and ran down the list of all the other places to hide. This was the safest room, the locks were complex but not invincible. If they were here to see Julian he would’ve shown up already. What were they here for? She knew it couldn’t have been her. The Nest was sworn to secrecy.

Portia called a fast retreat into the basement of The Nest. Hoping that the locks wouldn’t fail her on any of the doors. She called her brother again, practically screaming into the phone.

The hounds howled as they got to Madeve and outside, Antonio lounged, loading his gun and mumbling “Any day now raven. Come home to your nest.”

The massive dog growled as the two other hounds met him in the hall. Madeve barked but waited to charge. Blood dropped from his maw as he growled.

The dogs launched and circled him, snapping at him with sharp fangs and growling as they tried to corner him.

Madeve stood his ground, this wasn’t going to be an easy fight. But it was his job to protect his master, and his master’s mistress. He barked at the two, trying to see which was weaker.

Portia sealed the door to the basement. Everyone who was alive, was safe. They just had to hope that Antonio came in for what he was after and left.

After what seemed like hours, everyone was gone. One of the men had knocked out madeve, while the others had napped the precious jewel of the nest. Lyra’s room was empty, and the cars had disappeared towards Antonio’s base in the deep rich part of the city.

Portia took a headcount and surveyed the damage just as her older brother was pulling up in the driveway.

“Damn.” He looked around at all the blood and corpses. “Well, Monty was desperate.”

Portia came outside to greet him.

“Do you know what he took yet?” Julian asked his sister. She shook her head.

“We’re still looking. But Madeve was knocked out.” She sighed.

Julian frowned and went inside, seeing his beloved dog limp on the floor. With a sharp grunt he lifted the dog. Madeve whined, arousing from his sleep.

“C’mon let's go see Lyra.” He sighed Madeve scrambling in his arms as his body came around.

He set down the mutt and he took off barking.

That….wasn’t good.

Julian’s eyes grew wide and he ran after the dog. He saw what he feared, the door to his room was ajar. He threw open the doors.

“LYRA! Lyr! Are you here!?” He called out in the empty space, he searched his room frantically searching for her.

“Dearest! If you're hurt please say something!”

He opened the door to the bedroom, and there sitting on the bed was the symbol of Antonio’s mob.

Julian shouted in rage and ran down stairs to his men. He held up the ram’s head to his best Men.

“I know what Antonio stole.” He growled, “he took what is MINE.”

Lyra was blind folded and tied up. A goon set her on a metal chair. They were in Antonio’s condo, it was bovious from the smell of sex, champenge and the sound of beethoven from the other room. Antonio laughed at the sight of her “This is the raven’s pretty little jewel? Im almost applaud that he was the one who stole the blue blood’s prized possession.”

She didn’t say anything. If there is anything Julian had taught her than it was to stay silent. The less she talked the more he would stay safe, no matter what happened to her.

Antonio slapped her with a hiss “Im talking to you little songbird.” he leaned down and ran a hand under her jaw with a smirk “I have some questions for you.”

She had rehearsed this line so many times in her head. “I am The Raven’s plaything. He uses me for pleasure. I have no information to give you.” It was a bold faced lie, but it got her out of some previous situations.

Antonio smirked and took off her blindfold “We both know that's bullshit.” He held up the photos a goon had taken. Pictures of her and ilya together, one even a little scandalous from a club only taken last week.

Her eyes flashed, they were so careful. “You think he tells me what happens in his work? As I said, I am his possession, that’s what all women are to you. I’m used as pleasure for him.” She nodded at one of the photos. “Clearly.”

“And that's why he gave you this?” he yanked the sapphire from her neck, examining it “And why you've been at the hospital so much before? Little song bird was trying to have a family with the raven?” He laughed

Lyra narrowed her eyes, “you’re a dead man walking.” She spat at his feet, “you’ll be dead by the end of the night once he knows what you’ve taken.”

“Oh doll i'm aware of what's going to happen.” he tossed the jewel away and smirked “So for now, you and i are going to have a little chat.” He snapped and a goon brought in a cart of sharp objects and hot metal “And if you don't talk? Well i guess i have a new toy.”

Torture. Lyra’s mind started to race, she wouldn’t survive. She had to compromise, to her there was no option. “You’re trying to get under his skin? Hurting me will anger him.” She swallowed hard, “but if you want him furious….you already have what’s his…”

“Maybe. But I could take more…” He squeezed her thigh and circled behind her, tracing her skin way too close to some areas “Now… you gonna tell me anything i need to know? Or shall I use you until he gets here?”

Her heart started to pound. Her wrists flinching against the binds. “I. won’t. Talk.” She stammered, she was trying to sound fearless, but on the inside she was trembling.

Julian had gathered his men. “Alright listen up. Antonio is expecting us to show up tonight. He has what’s mine and that won’t stand.” He growled. “ we need to get in and get out. We’ll wait until tomorrow, we’ll catch him off guard and his defenses will be low.”

Portia nodded, “it will give us some time to gather resources.”

The men were dispersed quickly and Julian sat back in his chair, all he felt was rage. If that bastard laid one finger on her, Julian would Seaver his head off himself.

Antonio spent the night torturing lyra with minor things like tasers, groping and slapping. He was furious by sunrise, soaking her with ice cold water before going to give his men orders for the day.

Lyra hardly said anything. She refused to talk, she knew Julian would come for her and all would be fine. She couldn’t fail him now, there was no way. Her collar was a reminder of the love she had, and who she wanted to be with. If Lyra had to die tonight then so be it, Julian was worth dying for and the engraving in the back of her collar was proof of that. Even though now after years of wearing it, Julian’s name was duller and looked a little cheap.

Julian made sure security was tight before returning and sitting at eye level with Lyra, quiet for a moment before smirking “Bold choice by the way. To try and have kids in this life.” he was trying to mess with her.

“He has to pass down his line to someone.” She averted his gaze,“not that it matters anyway. As you already know, there aren't any children.”

Everything was ready, it was just a waiting game as Julian sat a few blocks from Antonio’s turf. He was watching the guard looking for inconsistencies. Scouting the easiest way for a rescue.

“I wonder who’s fault that is.” Antonio smirked and stood “ I mean the raven is a fine specimen. I wonder… did he choose a lame mate?” He laughed “Cant even produce a sire.”

Antonio wasn’t fighting physically, now he was fighting with words. That was something Lyra hadn’t had the crash course in. She tried to shove down the guilt. “I’m loved...despite my ability to have children. We haven’t given up, just you wait.”

Outside, the guard shift changed. Antonio smiled and grabbed lyra’s chin “But just imagine all the heartbreak and disappointment that you caused. I wonder why he kept you around?” He dropped his grip and sighed “Must just be a useful cocksleeve.”

“I am more than that. We both grieved that day.” She muttered, her eyes threatened tears but she couldn’t let him see that he was winning. “He loves me. Otherwise I wouldn’t be wearing his name with pride everyday.”

“Right.” Antonio grabbed a sharp cutter and walked behind her “Maybe it’s time we took his name off, Hm? That way you no longer bear his name. Just like your inability to bear his sire.” He was just being cruel now, but he yanked the collar.

She flinched, “You wouldn’t dare.”

Julian sighed and saw what he was looking for, a pitfall in the system. With a satisfied chuckle, he drove out of his hiding place and returned back home.

Antonio did dare. He was going to prove a point. That same day, an unmarked package arrived at the nest. Inside was Lyra's torn and cut collar and it’s broken sapphire. This was Antonio’s push at the raven.

Julian punched a nearby wall looking out the window, dusk was starting to arrive.

“THAT'S IT!” He shouted. “IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, PASHA! Rally up the men!!! We’re GOING.”

Portia tried to talk some sense into Julian but his mind was made up, he wanted his precious star safe. He wanted her NOW.

At Antonio’s condo it was already a heated zone. The Pride had shown up to confront Antonio on his stupidity. All he wanted to do was show off his bait.

Julian arrived as darkness was starting to fall, everyone was hiding in the streets waiting for the right moment. Portia had a bad feeling about all of this, but she trusted her brother enough to let him do this. Even if it was reckless love blinding him in the moment.

#the arcane game #arcana apprentice #the arcana #the arcane julian #julian devorak #arcana #the arcane mc #the arcana julian #cats and birds #rose sagenea #rose the apprentice #lyra the apprentice #mob au

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bma-2020 · 4 years

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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out.#illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

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theravencawsatmidnight · 4 years

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So this is that Elf thing i mentioned the other day. I can only post it in parts so heres the first part???? Its 7,000 words all together so im not editing this at all. Ill keep it up for a couple days to see what happens. But yeah. This is also a Revamp. I re wrote this story cuz i had nothing else to do with my time . It complete . Book 2 aint complete cuz spoilers so i wont say anything.

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Greengrove was a quiet settlement . Large trees hid the area from wandering eyes . The branches provided protection from the harsh rains and hot days . The area was full of brightly colored flowers, blue , pink, yellow. Every color . Mushrooms grew tall and big in little patches that scattered the soft green grass. Little wooden houses sat on each other in the trees . Their roofs mushrooms . The occupants of this forest was elves and fairies and pixies.

Elves gathered the food for each night for everyone and tended to

the crops . They also made clothes for everyone.

The fairy’s made potions and tended to the forest animals .

The tiny pixies tended to the green. Giving life to the flowers trees and mushrooms . A small river flowed through the settlement . Bringing them fish and clean water . In the very center of the settlement sat a mushroom house . As big as the trees . Its top red with white spots .

The eldest inhabitants lived here . Creating jobs , holding meetings and setting up outings for hunts . Greengrove was buzzing this early morning . The sound of flicking wings everywhere. Little laughters and pixie dust filled the air. They were always awake first . The fairy’s woke up and tended to all of the baby animals that were whining for food . Once the animals were satisfied it was time for the fairy’s to work on potions .

They recently asked the elves for help . Some cross training is good . Each elf was assigned a fairy to shadow. One fairy . She was about 5’8 her hair long and light purple , her wings light purple . Her clothes were a pink breast plate made out of leaves and a silk skirt, was tapping her foot impatiently .

The blond elf looked up from her book , crunching her nose to move her glasses up . “ im sure she will be here soon Marfia” Marfia waved her hand around , light purple sparkles drifted off her fingers . “ i do not have the patience or the time . I make antidotes i am vital to this village .” The blond elf put her book down and whistled sweetly . A light blue pixie zoomed over hitting the blond elf on the cheek . This made the elf smile .

“ yes Salia ?!” Salia pushed her glasses and stood up . She was wearing a green silk dress . “ Maxina , please go wake up Leantha before Marfia starts telling me how she's the backbone of this village “

The pixie jittered around laughing and flew out the window . Marfia huffed and flew out of the mushroom to her little house .

Maxina zoomed under mushrooms , over branches and up a short tree with one lonely house in it . The house was wooden and the roof was a purple mushroom with black spots . The pixie flew thru the window into a small bedroom with a wooden basket full of grass clothes. The walls were covered in berry paint . The bed was the largest thing in the room with a silky pink blanket . Maxina landed on the blanket pulling on it . “ Leantha!!!!” The body turned to its other side making Maxina fall over onto the bed . “Leantha !!!!” The body groaned and sat up rubbing her eye . “ whaaaat” The pixie covered her eyes when she saw the naked elf . “ you have training today!” Shrieked the pixie. Leantha stretched yawning . Her short pink hair was sticking up . She climbed out of bed walking to the restroom . Once she was clean she returned and put on a cloth , then a skirt of light blue leaves . That she painted . And a short light blue grass top . “ okay”

She sighed . “ im ready”

Leantha followed the pixie to a house next to a old tree and flew around leaving blue dust everywhere . Leantha shooed the pixie away and went into the house . Chamber pots full of ooze filled the room . Books scattered the floor . Loud bubbling pops and chirping birds filled her ears .

Marfia flew into the room scoffing .

“ finally , grab me that ivy and those shrubs and follow me .” She fluttered behind some curtains . “ grab some weevey and shrubbies im a fairy a hur hur” mocked the elf . She picked up a braided basket and packed it with the items and followed past the curtain .

Marfina was stirring a large pot full of green ooze. “ well let me see it .” The elf set the basket down and watched the fairy add the items , the ooze turned dark purple. She snickered . “ i need fire ember ! Leantha go get some!” The elf groaned. “ where at” Marfia scoffed taking out a map from her holster . “ here. It's by the old gnomes houses . “

Leantha was making faces at a bird in a cage . Marfia clenched the map and swung her other hand around . Little dust sprites crept to the elf latching on making her itchy . She turned around scratching .

“ okayyy!!!! Im goin im going “ she took the map and left the house scratching her chest.

Just over the hill. Sat a large settlement of male elves. Each elf was tall and chiseled. Their skin was pale and each elf had long silky hair . Their ears were long . Unlike female elves ears. The men enjoyed hunting and fighting . No one dared to try to take over the village . They lived in stone houses with stone gates lining each house . In the center sat a old oak tree . A man with white hair walked out . His attire was black cloth pants and a brown leather belt . His hair traveled to his midsection . It swayed at the ends as he walked . His chin was pointy and his eyes a very dark green . Hunting , He thought . With a party this time . He shook his head. The elf slowly made his way to the gathering and everyone looked at him . Everyone else was dressed fully and had bows and arrows . All he carried on his person was a large ‘C’ shaped knife . The elves shuffled and began the hunt .

Leantha was wandering the forest . Yeah. Ill get the ember. Eventually. She snickered and ran through some flowers startling some birds . The men stopped and looked up . Birds were shrieking . They followed it . Leantha swayed with the flowers smiling . “ potions. All i need is nature .” She swayed and swayed till she wandered off swaying . Into dangerous territory . She spotted a tree with berries in it . “ wowie look at me .” Quickly she climbed up and sat on a branch picking the berries and stuffing them in her cleavage . She decided to take a break and have some lunch . Leantha leaned on the trunk of the tree and dangled a foot off the branch as she ate some berries .

The men followed the flattened flowers till the trail went cold . “ must of been an animal . Lets go .” The men turned back . Except for the white haired elf. “ i will catch up.” He wandered and the party leader groaned . “ you’re on your own Mantis !!!” Mantis followed the uneven dirt till he came to the tree . Looking up he saw her. She was beautiful . Short and petite . He wanted her. Quietly he set up a trap and sat down in a bush . Watching her.

“ mmm!!!!” Cheered Leantha .

“ i guess i'll get that ember now. “ she climbed down and once she touched the ground her ankle got caught. A light pinch made her wince and look down . “ oh no oh no !!!!” Whined the elf . She tried to pull the plant off her ankle and it just bit harder. She tugged the vine and a net was thrown on her with rocks tied to the ends . “let me out!!!” She looked around and Mantis stood up walking over . Leantha spotted the man and her body froze.

This elf was very tall , he smelled of burned wood and had a scowl over his face. His hair was long and white traveling to his midsection. His choice of clothes was just brown hide pants and a black leather belt. Some cuts around his midsection. The elf carried a large C shape sickle with a short handle . He kneeled down over the terrified elf looking her over. She was shivering and she had berries in her cleavage and smears along her stomach and grass top. Leantha tugged at the rope but it was too heavy with the rocks tied to it . The man threw the net off and pushed her down to her back getting on top of her . Leantha shrieked trying to push him away, he grabbed her hand holding it up above her head and held her other at her side. His hair tickled her face and made her squint and shake her head. The male elf held both her wrists with one hand, sliding his other in her grass top pulling the berries out and tossing them . Gently he gripped her face smelling her taking in her berry scent , it sent a shiver down his legs and back. Leantha was whining and trying her best to push up at him. What was this? This elf was not female ..

#elf story #not MHA #Raven Writes #im so nervous #gawd #Mantis can get it

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