#im really tired and frustrated

[hauntedtrait]

ughhhh i rlly want growing together it looks like a very fun pack + includes shit i just think shouldve been base game and i want those features lol but unless i like win the lottery or smth i wont be able to get it til i get financial aid which wont be til july most likely 😭 i hate so much that every month is just me struggling and stressing over not knowing how i’m going to pay rent or bills, thank god for food stamps or i wouldve fucking starved to death by now. poverty SUCKS and i hate it and i wish my boss would stop being so goddamn stingy and just let me work more hours or if i could get a new gd job so i dont have to be in such a fucked situation like this UGH

#sorry just venting #im really tired and frustrated #and my friends have heard me complain enough #being poor is just so upsetting and tiring and sad #i dont get to have nice things #and like even if i did have 40$ to spare #theres more important things i need more than a video game #bleh #vent tw

[autumnrook]

I sing songs even when I dont know the words 

I scream songs even when I dont know the words

I sing songs even when others are staring 

I scream the songs even when no one is staring 

I sing the songs when I feel the tears form

I scream the songs when the tears choke my voice

I sing the songs before they spill into the anger

I scream as the anger spills into me

I sing the songs for it was easier than to speak

I scream the songs for it was easier than to sing

I want to stop screaming the songs

Sorry, I'm frustrated about personal issues, and this is how I cope.

#poets on tumblr #original poem #poem #poetry #coping #im not okay #im really tired and frustrated #amateur poetry #amateur poem #screamyourfeelingsout

[redysetdare]

I'm an "AroAce Stereotype" I'm Romance averse/Repulsed> I'm Sex repulsed I'm non-partnering I hate the idea of marriage in all forms I don't want a QPR at all I'm loveless I'm someone who gets uncomfortable at sexual talk and sex jokes I'm someone who often has innuendos or sexual concept fly over my head. I'm someone who can't tell when someone is flirting with me I'm someone who can't pick up on romantic or sexual tension I'm someone who finds "shipping" to be annoying I'm someone who says "They just seem like friends to me" I'm someone who believed that attraction could be turned on or off I'm someone who can't make sense of romance at all and cant figure out what makes it different from every other relationship. I'm someone who thinks romance is stupid and sex is gross and I don't understand the big deal everyone makes about it I'm someone who never was upset to find out I was AroAce but rather relieved as I have a genuine fear of being stuck in a romantic relationship that i do not want. In all cases I am not an AroAce who can be considered "normal" by the standards of allo society.

I'm not just a stereotype for you to shit on. I'm not the reason aphobes are aphobic I'm not a problem that you need to erase and refute to be accepted by allos. I'm not an experience that you and ignore as "not really how aspec people are" just because You are not part of it. Stop leaving us behind. Stop throwing us under the bus. We deserve support too. We deserve to not be demonized and shunned because we're an "stereotype". We are not the problem. We are not a problem to be fixed. start fighting aphobes on their logic instead of trying to make up for our existence.

#text #ace #aro #asexual #aromantic #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #mostly talking abt aroace experience because thats me #but this can go for other aspec identities too #aphobia #im just tired of other aspec people agreeing with the oppressors that certain experiences are wrong #and promising that THEY aren't like that THEY are normal and shouldn't be ridiculed #but never do anything to protect the rest of us from ridicule #because really they just want to protect their experience they dont care about the wider community #and it's frustrating #because we should all be supporting each other because thats how things get better #if we tell aphobes there are exceptions then suddenly all aspec people can become an exception #because they dont care about us being socially acceptable aspecs they care about us not being aspec period #they dont want us to exist because then they have to question their world view and that dont like doing that #so they'll play nice with the ones they can pretend are normal before they decide that you're not good enough either

[lukachupacabra]

I really really REALLY hate that the release of MK1 made the Kuai Liang, Scorpion and Sub-Zero tags all literally unusable if you want to see the original versions of these characters. When I ask for Scorpion I want Hanzo Hasashi. When I ask for Kuai Liang I want the younger Sub-Zero formerly known as Tundra. Bi-Han is obviously fine, but jfc the other two bring me great pain. Worse that there are still people who tag incest under the SubScorp tag. I block on sight for that.

#mortal kombat #hanzo hasashi #scorpion #subscorp #kuai liang #sub zero #mk11 #ignore me #im just really tired #and frustrated #there were posts using images of Hanzo while talking about Kuai Liang #it made me want to put my head through a wall #WHY #ughhhh

[turtletoria]

look at my sketchbook boy

#turtlearts #wordgirl #wg #becky botsford #dr two brains #steven boxleitner #my ocs #heehee last page is my brain blorbos!!!!!!!! finally!!!!!!!!!! #the tired one is named elise and the mustached one is named pranav. for now bc im persnickety #ok who am i kidding theyre just rehashed versions of frankenstein and boxleitner. im sorry #i love me some mad scientists and this time i have free reign #also im so happy with becky's hair now #i got really frustrated with how i was drawing her hair because it just didnt make sense to me #so i looked up a reference for curly hair with headbands and now she looks so adorable i dont think i can go back #i quite like how her hair looks now and its fun (and easier) to draw!

[littlecutiexox]

As soon as my last interview is done, I'm treating myself to new gym shoes and The Hobbit book

#im so tired #im over interviews #ive had like 15 now im mentally exhausted #i know im coming from a privileged area of being able to say that and getting to even have interviews is something im really grateful for #especially with how annoyinlgy frustrating it is to even get to the point of having interviews #but im excited to not have to worry about this after friday when i make a decision #its been 4 weeks of STRESS #at least friday i can relax finally

[mitskiluvr]

replaying mystic messenger is so crazy because why am i gentle parenting these grown men and teaching them how to handle their feelings

#mystic messenger #mysme #jumin han #saeyoung choi #this post is mainly about those two #i get so mad whenever jumin enters a chatroom like get out of my face im not joking I DO NOT LIKE YOU #like i get it blah blah blah CEO with a cold heart trope and you melt his icy exterior But im so tired... #i don't want to explain workers rights to him #or... basic human rights actually #when he goes “jaehee i need you to work overtime again” and my face contorts in disgust and horror as a sitcom laugh track plays in the bac #also seven's route is so frustrating #like there's genuine reasons for him acting cold and whatever and i get it #but i actually dont want to watch you break a robot cat and then change ur pfp to a dark and broody photo of yourself #I ALSO CANT TALK TO ZEN IM SORRY I HATE HIM SO MUCH #zen lovers do not hate me... i am just a simple person #at one point in seven's route he was like “omg there's an explosive in the apartment? i should send a pic of myself to comfort you...” #I CANNOT HANDLE YOU GO LOG OFF YOUR PHONE #sorry wow im really into this game #i played it four years ago and now it's come back to me #also all of my points are nullified by the fact that saeran is my favorite #doing his route is like pulling teeth and eating socks #i say that with love

[rainbowresurrection]

Kinda got a love/hate relationship with the history of K/S because it's like. Can I please have a queer discussion about this 1960s television show without it being reduced to "shipper discourse". I thought Spock and Kirk were homo long before I knew that their characters spawned a fanfiction counterculture. The bisexual dude who wrote the episode that really kick-started the movement didn't know it was going to coalesce into the fan phenomenon that it did, he was just writing what he knew how to write best: the repression of burning male desire, and two dudes doing homoerotic shit. Can I just talk about the repressed burning male desire please, and the implications of a gay angle to Kirk and Spock's story, without it being referred to as shipper discourse. Can I do that. Does this make sense

#yes queer men write fanfiction but the subculture itself wasnt really centered around us or around closeted male desire which is the part #i related to #and I don't always think it gets to be talked about in a way thats ever fully divorced from that context if that makes sense? #one could argue it never WILL be divorced from that context but I believe said subtext existed before k/s was invented so #anyway this is one if my most autistic posts to date #historic moment #i hope this makes sense #k/s #star trek #the premise #like i just feel like glossing it over as ship discourse is demeaning to the actual GAY part of the discussion. this was even seen when #Gay-Gay Abrams was making his reboots and people brought up the subtext as a possibility #and creators were like “grrrrr you shippers just want your two favs to kiss onscreen” which downplays the significance of two men #being INTIMATE ONSCREEN #and is a lazy way to sweep queer male rep under the rug idk idk Im tired #Kirk and Spock will always be dismissed as a possibility and thats the excuse thats always used #its just so tied up in that fandom culture #i mean its interesting its just also frustrating at times

[orykorioart]

Happy Halloween!

+extra silly little comic

#raileon #dnkb #raihan #gym leader raihan #champion leon #leon pokemon #pokemon #ask to tag #since its a little suggestive. and also features some blood #halloween #vampire #werewolf #i wanted an extra little sketch of full wolf form lee kissing bat form raihan #and little bat raihan looking frustrated bc canines mouths are very wet #but I sketched it out and the wolf looked EXTREMELY furry #which isnt a bad thing necessarily I am. yknow. but it doesnt really fit for this. Ah well! #undescribed for now #cuz im vewy tired 😔

[imperiuswrecked]

I think what's really frustrating watching each day as IOF soldiers continue their terrorism and murder is knowing that a majority, if not all of these terrible people will never be held accountable for the people they murdered, the children they killed, the lives they destroyed. That's why they are so confident, that's why they post their crimes for all to see. They have literally gotten away with it for years, for decades. The documentary where they bragged about their crimes in 1948 shows how long they have gotten away with it. I hope each and every criminal is prosecuted, I hope each soldier feels the pain they inflicted on others on themselves.

#palestine #tw: genocide #im just feeling so tired and frustrated lately #I hoped things would get better but it hasnt #the death of Hind hit me really hard too

[mossy-aro]

kinda frustrating how so much aspec content (esp stuff published in like mainstream outlets) is literally just made for allos. like it’s always some article that’s just going over aspec 101 terminology and explaining various concepts and words aimed at a clearly allo audience.

i’m not saying those aren’t important because part of the issue aspecs face is how invisibilised we are and yes! it’s super important to raise awareness and let people know we exist! but it’s also kind of frustrating how it feels like 99% of not only our time but also all wider coverage about us is spent explaining our identities and giving ted talks to allos instead of like . discussing aspec issues and identity with any sort of depth or nuance.

Angela Chen (who wrote a book on asexuality) talked about thinking about aro/ace-ness not just as an identity but also a viewpoint or a ‘lens’ to examine issues through which i thought was interesting! like how does aro/ace identity intersect with our ideas of feminism, or of race? how does aromanticism inform our critique of the nuclear family and the institution of marriage?? how does asexuality play into our view of sexual politics? how does lovelessness deconstruct our ideas of ‘humanity’? there is so much to get into and so much ground that has never been covered but we are stuck!! on giving definitions!!

idk i don’t really have a solution here! because i know that on the one hand we need these kinds of articles that give streams of ‘aspec 101’ definitions because any visibility helps, but also i am so tired of having to dumb everything down instead of having actual discussions about aspec identities and what they can tell us. like hopefully we’ll get to a point eventually where we don’t have to do this but i’m still just. kinda tired :/

#aro #aromantic #aroace #asexual #ace #aspec #amatonormativity #leftist #sorry for this ranty post #also #this isn’t a slam on those articles btw !!! they’re important and absolutely have their place #im just tired of every single one being for allos and ONLY discussing the most basic concepts possible lol #it ends up leaving people with a very surface level understanding of a very complex community #and doesn’t really inform people about the issues that tangibly affect our lives #like compulsory sexuality and the pervasiveness of amatonormativity. #like if ur gonna talk about aros talk about amatonormativity. talk about relationship anarchy and qprs #talk about loveless aros + alloaros and not just aroaces and alloaces! #idk if I’m being 100% coherent and clear here sorry #tldr what im saying is that it’s frustrating how most discussion abt us is so surface level and doesn’t really get into anything beyond that #bc the aspec community has infinitely more to offer and is also infinitely more complex than presented in these articles

[chemblrish]

x

#definitely not feeling my best lately #the end of the semester is always hard #bc understandably im tired #but have to study more than during the semester for the upcoming finals #but really it's more than that #ive been trying to make peace with who i am academically but it seems impossible #i can't fit in anywhere #not with the ~great~ students bc im not good enough #not with the indifferent students bc i study all the time #and there's this prof who thinks im deliberately downplaying my skills #which is both frustrating and painful bc im literally giving it my best already #im just not that smart!! #you know i was positively excellent back in school #and now im average #not bc im not trying #im doing my absolute best! #what else am i supposed to do? #so now it feels like befriending my lab partner was a mistake #i adore her but she's so brilliant and i feel like im dragging her down with me #it also feels like asking my favorite professor to be my thesis supervisor was a mistake too #bc i adore him as well and he thinks way too highly of me #and i am so going to let him down #oof #txt

[palms-upturned]

.

#meg talks #feeling really down and frustrated #ever since i caught covid over the new year ive just been doing so badly #it’s now halfway through may and not only am i having all sorts of weird new pain problems #to the point where i dragged myself to the er yesterday bc my usual meds didn’t do shit for me and i spent seven hours writhing in pain #but also mentally im just. constantly tapped out #before covid i was able to keep up w news and work on research projects and write multiple image descriptions every day and read books #and keep up w friends all while working full time #like even if i was in bed p much whenever i wasn’t at work i could still read and write and carry conversations #now it’s like i can only handle all of these things in small doses before my brain just shuts off #im still keeping up w news and describing what i can and working on my research projects and trying to make connections #but i feel so slow abt everything i do #it’s driving me up the wall #ive been trying for days to get through this one academic paper that’s rlly not even that long #and i just can’t do it. not for long anyway i have to read in small bursts #and then having to take muscle relaxants for these fucking spasms that make me really drowsy and sleep the whole day away… #idk. it might not even be abt covid i might be reading too much into it but it’s just pissing me off. thinking abt how nobody masks anymore #and how every time there’s a covid outbreak i won’t be able to properly protect myself or my brothers from it #bc of this fuckass job #idk im just tired and upset

[capricioussun]

Will probably delete later but genuinely WHY do so many ppl hate uf papyrus. "He’s horrible and a bad brother and abusive >:(((" my guy. YOU made him that way

#always weirds me out when a really bad take becomes popular fanon and ppl treat it like it's an inherent universal take #happens to all characters I feel but it's esp frustrating when it's not just a bad take but just straight making a character a certain way #as a plot device. or to project ur own issues onto. at that point just. make an oc or smth. why mangle a character so severely. what is #the purpose #im not even going to TRY to pretend i have perfect ic flawless interps (I absolutely don't and know this) #but even w/ characters I have minimal interest in (like asgore for ex) it's important to me to at least *try* to keep them in line w/ their #og counterparts. #and you'd think. given how so many ppl infantilized Papyrus. that some of that would've bled thru into au counterparts #but nope. the fanon versions are practically just wholly different characters who just look similar and 'fill the same role' in their au #and it's honestly not like there's a shortage of other characters sans could have a toxic relationship with in uf #(bc let's be honest here that's 90% of the reason uf papyrus got characterized that way. for ppl to project onto and sympathize with sans) #I don't like having strong negative opinions on things and I especially don't like talking abt them publicly but idk if it's just weird #timing or smth I've seen so many bad takes the past couple weeks #to each their own and I'd never like. bash someone for having a diff take than me. I just don't...understand. #idk #I'm really tired and my eyes are sticky so I really shouldn't even be posting rn bc I will see this later and be like #can't BELIEVE that guy posted an opinion on the internet. WHY would he do that

[bisan-is-trying]

Why do i have a feeling that us (Palestinians) are going to be the ones who get most of the damage?

#can we just have one good week?? #im so tired #so frustrated #and really really scared. #i mean if i die i die but also i dont want to die #god this really was meant to be a study blog #palestine #april 2024

[dimonds456]

Gonna take a break from Tumblr for a while, I think. My mental health has been plummetting, and I need time to get back on my feet.

Though a large part of it is definitely the on-going genocide, my eyes are still on Palestine. If I reblog anything in the next few days, it'll more than likely be either personal stream stuff (huge maybe on that) or Palestine news.

I'm okay, I'm not going to do anything drastic, I just need to take a step back and take a breath. If anyone needs me, DMs are good, or if you can reach me on Discord that would be better.

See ya when I see ya. Eid muburak.

-Dimonds

#a lot of this is just activism burnout #my friend reminded me it exists earlier today and i think its finally catching up to me #its not just palestine- ive been fighting for something far more personal since September last year too #its really finally starting to get me #im frustrated i cant do more and im tired and my mental health is only getting worse with guilt i cant control #its just a lot. i need to get my head on straight. #like i said im not going to do anything drastic and im still very much online- just not tumblr #idk when i'll be back but it shouldnt be too long i think #uh. yeah. #cya #dimond speaks