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spacedikut · 4 years

Text

the very insecure dr reid ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

summary: “Could you write another fic about early Spence where he’s all insecure” combined with another request :) 5730 words

a/n: title taken from s1e5!! i wrote this months ago aka before i decided to try to make my fics gender neutral and i tried to make the appropriate changes but im also a dumbass so! yeah!

masterlist

Spencer is a man of science, if you didn’t already know.

This means he doesn’t spend his time fretting over what isn’t there, what doesn’t have facts and evidence to back it up. Of course, he dabbles in reading conspiracy theories and enjoys learning about various religions and things of that sort, but these are to expand his already infinite knowledge, not because he particularly believes in them.

The first time he believed there was some kind of God was when you kissed him.

It was after the case where both Elle and Spencer were trapped on a train with a paranoid schizophrenic – he still remembers how you reacted when he agreed to being sent in, how you tried to keep it light-hearted but pulled him aside to solemnly tell him you didn’t think you’d be able to live without him (if you do something rash and stupid, Spencer, I swear to God-). You threatened to nipple cripple him if he did die, and it was weirdly motivating.

After he was checked over, and teased Elle about saving her life, you came crashing into him with an audible oof and a whisper of, “God you smell so good I’m so glad you’re okay don’t ever do that again.” It was probably the adrenaline, the near-death experience high, but instead of gently pushing you away like he’d do with anyone else, he discovers your waist has a wonderful dip that his arms fit perfectly into as he tugs you close.

He’s hugged people before, obviously, but it’s always different with you.

You must think so, too, because when you pull away just enough that you’re still in his arms but can clearly see his face, you take a minuscule intake of breath that Spencer wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t, you know, Spencer.

A strand of Spencer’s hair falls from where it was tucked, falling into his line of sight. Without hesitation you’re pushing it back, fingertips brushing against Spencer’s cheek as you fold the hair back behind his ear. Your eyes meet when there’s no obstruction, electricity crackling in Spencer’s ears when he realises there’s nothing between you, nothing stopping you, and there’s something about the lack of space between you and how he holds you that just makes you ask-

“Would it be weird if I kissed you right now?”

Immediately, Spencer thinks yes. Not because he doesn’t want you to (he couldn’t think of anything better to do, to be honest), or because of where you are (although, knowing the whole team is not far away does make him feel a little funny), it’s because he’s him. Gangly, awkward, with very sweaty hands that feel at home on your body, and you don’t want to kiss that. You can’t want to.

Yet, he shakes his head, and finds himself copying you when you lean in and close your eyes.

It’s short, sweet, and somewhat weird. He thinks he blacks out, loses himself in your lips despite it happening so quickly.

When you pull back, Spencer’s eyes remain closed for a good few seconds before he’s brought back to Earth. And he doesn’t know what to say - pretty people don’t just… kiss him. They certainly don’t ask if they can kiss him, then follow through, and… stare at him like that.

“Has anyone seen Reid? Y/L/N?”

Whatever was supposed to happen after, whether it was good or bad, you’ll never know. Hotch’s footsteps are thundering towards you and, despite your daze, you step away from Spencer just as he spots you.

The second time he believed there was a God, he asked you on a date. And you said yes.

Neither of you mention the kiss. In your defence, he supposes, it happened merely an hour ago – everyone’s rushing to get back to Quantico so no one’s had time to make any kind of small talk, let alone have the talk after a kiss.

Elle gives Spencer a look of confusion when she slides past him, moving into the jet as he hovers in the entryway. He’s obviously waiting for someone, passing out tight lipped smiles to the team when they all squeeze past. Spencer isn’t a big guy, but it’s bizarre for him to be standing there like that, swaying like the palm tree he is – he’s usually setting up for yet another game of chess with Gideon at this moment.

Then you shuffle on, faltering when you catch him waiting for you but smile nonetheless. He straightens, hands remaining in his pockets when his mouth opens to speak. You interrupt him (before he can make a fool of himself, thank God).

“Wanna sit together?” You ask, eyes never leaving his. He nods and follows you like the lost puppy he is.

The second you invite him to sit next to you instead of opposite he wants to pull you tight into his side, but that seems like too much. He’s not Derek, for Heaven’s sake, and you’re not Garcia – all you’ve done is kiss once and really, when he thinks about it, you were probably on an adrenaline high too, so it might’ve been a heat of the moment thing. It happens, Spencer’s read about it, and although it would break his heart that it meant nothing, it’s likely. Oh, it’s so likely.

Spencer might be the first one on the team to cry on the BAU jet.

Halfway home, the team is lost in their own pass-times to notice when you bookmark your page and place your book on the table.

“Spence,” You whisper, testing if he’s awake.

He is. He hasn’t been able to catch a wink of sleep, no matter how hard he tries. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry if what I did earlier- you know-“ You gesture vaguely in the air, completely oblivious to the fact Spencer is very familiar with what happened earlier because he can’t stop replaying it, “-If that made you uncomfortable. Or if I forced you, or-“

“Would it be weird if I asked you on a date when we land?”

The grin you send him shoots straight to his heart, eyes crinkling with laughter at his echo of the words you used earlier. If you notice you don’t mention it, but his hands can’t stop fidgeting under the table, slick with sweat.

“It’d only be weird if you don’t kiss me after.” You say.

His brows furrow, a small incredulous laugh leaving him. “What? Why?”

“We’ve already had our first kiss, so it’s out of the way.”

“Are you saying… You want to kiss me again?”

You thought that was obvious from when you kissed him earlier, but you’re happy to remind him. “Yes. I would like that very much.”

“Okay,” He says, bashfully, with a lick of his lips. “I can- I can arrange that.”

This time, when you turn back to your book, your head finds his shoulder and Spencer thinks his it has turned to gold, blessed by being touched by you. Would it be too much if, the second you get back to base, he writes about this moment in great detail to his mother?

+++

All of that leads to now, where The Date is in three days.

He plans to take you to his favourite book café, a place you’ve always wanted to go but never had the chance to, and he was so, so excited. Any time he gets to spend with you is cherished and means more to him than it does to you, because to him it’s an excuse for you to give him more reasons to fall in love with you. And he does - fall in love - every single day.

Was is the important word here. He’s not excited anymore.

It’s terrifying how quick the tides can change.

Just this morning, he was glancing with child-like excitement at the outfit he’s already chosen for the date. You brought him some coffee, whispering an endearing, “Three days!” as you did, and, according to Derek, Spencer’s love eyes (what the hell does that mean) were so big even Derek fell in love with you for a second.

Now, Spencer’s not territorial, but that comment stuck with him. Maybe that’s why he’s here now.

He has to cancel the date.

It pains him – God, does it pain him – but he has to. He can’t go on that date with you. He can’t… put you through that. Make you spend time with him and have to let him down gently, slowly, like you’re talking down a temper tantrum. He can’t then pretend everything’s okay in front of the team. He won’t be able to pretend, because he’s liked you for months.

He won’t force you to go on that date with him. You deserve better than that, and better than him.

That’s what it comes down to: you deserve better than him.

It started that morning with Derek, as previously mentioned. Then the team was whisked away on a case, and the detectives were all over you. JJ, too, but they were too intimidated by Elle and Morgan, who just laughed at their attempts to impress you. It was borderline inappropriate, but you were too concerned with the victims and finding a serial killer to pay some officers and detectives you’ll never see again any attention.

Spencer noticed, though. And he couldn’t concentrate.

The detectives are dressed too well – by that, he means the suits and the Rolex watches are way above their paygrade – and they keep emphasising how good looking you and JJ are and how lucky the BAU is to have such dolls working on the team. What is this, the 40s? Who calls anyone doll anymore? And, yes, the team is very lucky to have you and JJ, but because you’re both great minds and wildly intelligent people that, yes, are also very gorgeous, but your looks aren’t all you have to offer, thank you very much.

There’s a detective approaching you, again, as you stand by the water cooler.

Spencer frantically looks around, trying to find a member of the team. “Morgan!” He weakly calls, because Spencer won’t scare him off. Maybe Morgan can chase them away like they’re stray cats, with his big muscles and scary eyebrows. Or Elle, who earlier merely lifted an eyebrow and the officers scattered like cockroaches.

All he catches of the conversation between you and the model/detective at the cooler is, “I appreciate it, but no thank you,” and that’s all he needs to hear.

He should’ve known someone would eventually make a move. You’ve said no, clearly, and Spencer doesn’t understand why. I mean, yes, he knows why – you have a prior engagement – but the detective… As much as he’s kind of a dick, he complements you better than Spencer does. Physically.

And there starts the spiral.

There must be something in the water, because every officer and detective and everyone in between is in peak physical condition with dashing looks to boot. They’re all straight out of a magazine, as if the popular kids from Spencer’s high school graduated and followed him here to remind him he is incredibly unworthy of you.

Spencer is lanky, unlike the broad men and curvaceous women here, and slicks his hair to the side rather than up like the others. He wears sweater vests, not blazers, and he’s so skinny that his trousers always look like hand-me-downs – nothing is fitted, like so many outfits are here.

They’re all everything Spencer is not. And Spencer is realising, quite quickly, that they’re the better ones – and that’s what you deserve. Better. The best.

It gets worse when they deliver the profile.

He finds his spot next to you, gives you a tight lipped smile, then looks at the outfits of his team compared to his own. Both Hotch and Morgan wear dark suits, well-proportioned and sophisticated in a way that Spencer is sure isn’t even in his calibre. Elle wears a deep green t-shirt, tucked into her tight black pants, and looks wonderfully intimidating with her double gun holster wrapped around her shoulders.

And you. You.

You wear a white shirt tucked into nicely tailored trousers, hair effortlessly styled with a pen tucked behind your ear. You all look like FBI agents. Intimidating. Prepared. Put-together.

Spencer… looks like he’s still in high school. He threatens no one, intimidates no one, and definitely does not make anyone feel inferior with his masculinity. He’s not an alpha male, is what he’s trying to say, and for each person he encounters in this wretched police department he feels himself shrinking.

So when they give the profile, he tries to say as little as possible. Tries to attract as little attention as possible, so when Hotch says his usual, “Thank you.” He can slip away unnoticed and hide from the superior beings.

It works, given everyone is too busy trying to save lives. Except you notice, and Spencer has to pretend he’s okay when you find him at the evidence board and tell him you’re excited for the date. He wants to believe you, truly does, but no matter how hard he digs into his brain to find a part of him that can fathom you see him as a better option than literally anyone else, it doesn’t exist.

You don’t seem to notice. He tells himself he’s glad, but there’s no denying the disappointment.

+++

Hotch calls it a night when the clock nears midnight. He says the team should get as much rest as possible and come in with fresh eyes tomorrow – despite this, the team knows most if not all of them will get little to no sleep, given that they’ll all be going over everything they’ve got so far in their hotel rooms.

You slink up to Spencer, a pep in your step even though you’re running on pure caffeine and nothing else. It’s then Spencer realises he has to do it now, because if he does it in the police department then he’ll be called unprofessional, but if he waits any longer than that he’ll be cutting too close and that’s a bad look.

“Y/N,” He says, coming to a stop before the elevators, allowing the rest of the team to head up. “I need to say something.”

You nod with a smile, covering a cute yawn when he takes a couple seconds to gather his thoughts.

You’re not sure what he’s gonna say, but you assume it’ll be to do with the date. Maybe a change of time, or a change of venue – he did mention the library café can get super busy on weekends – or, worst case scenario, the date will have to be postponed for whatever reason. And none are particularly bad, because you’re excited and just want to be with Spencer – it doesn’t matter if it’s not when he originally planned or where he originally planned.

But Spencer has always unwittingly been full of surprises.

“We can’t go on that date.”

Instantly you ask, “Why not?”

“Well-“ He seems caught off guard, like he wasn’t expecting you to question the sudden change of heart, “It’s complicated-“

“I’ve got time.”

“We should go to sleep-“

“Is it your mother?”

“No. No, it’s not.” Of course you look empathetic when you consider his mother might need him – a stab to the start. Add in the flicker of concern in your eyes – two stabs to the heart. “It’s not her. It’s- it’s nothing. Just, can we cancel?”

“And reschedule?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

The disappointment is clear on your face and makes Spencer feel so guilty, but not guilty enough to take it back. You’re not disappointed that you’re missing out on dating him, you’re frustrated that you’ve been building up to having plans on the weekend and they’ve suddenly been cancelled without reason. By Spencer, of all people. In a couple months’ time you’ll thank him, when you’re dating some bodybuilder who can grow a mean beard. You’ll thank him for not making you go on that date with him and forcing you to tell him you’re just not my type, Spence, and making everything awkward.

He can’t look at you. Maybe that’s why he misses the genuine sadness, the sudden glassiness of your eyes that humiliates you enough to make you angry. His words have ignited a fire in your chest that burns through your body like you’re made of gasoline, and you wish you could turn your thoughts off so you don’t start questioning how long he’s been wanting to reject you, if he even wanted to date you in the first place, how embarrassing it is to have been so openly eager when, apparently, he was very much not.

“I’m sorry.” He says, like it’ll do anything. He still can’t look at you and he feels like a coward.

“Yeah.” You sniffle.

He decides to take the stairs. You head for the bar, just for one drink.

+++

The following day, when an officer tries to talk to you, you blatantly ignore him. You tell him that unless it’s work-related, you’re really not interested, and word spreads quick that your pleasantries have died out and you’re not in the mood to tolerate creepy compliments.

There’s a permanent frown on your face that haunts Spencer the entire day. He knows exactly what’s going on – it’s his fault, after all – and he finds himself simultaneously avoiding you whilst witnessing your downcast mood.

Morgan starts investigating not long after you barely react to his terrible joke. He makes them for you, because you either choke on laughter or throw your pen at him, but this time it was like you weren’t even in the room. When Morgan poked you and asked if you heard him, your lacklustre reply was, “Hm? Yeah, good one.”

Morgan perches on the desk Spencer’s using. “You got any idea what’s going on with Y/N?”

“They’re mad at me.”

“You’re the reason they’re like this?”

Spencer doesn’t physically react, just says, as casually as possible, “Unless another person asked them on a date then cancelled without reason, then yes. It’s my fault.”

There’s no point in lying. Especially to Derek. Spencer doesn’t know how you’ll go about explaining your sudden poor mood, if you’ll curse his very existence or lie about it, but Spencer’s never been a good liar and the sooner everyone knows it’s his fault and he sucks, the better.

Morgan leans forward, attempting to make eye contact with the doctor who very much does not want to. “There’s a story there.”

“Obviously.”

“…You wanna go ahead and explain it?”

“Not really.”

“Alright,” Derek shrugs, “You stir in your sadness and continue being a sourpuss, I’ll go check up on Y/N and find out what really happened.”

Derek’s barely moved off the table when Spencer stops him, voice small like a child, “Wait, Morgan, I-“

You walk past then, too focused on a suspect list faxed in by Garcia to pay attention to anyone else. Spencer’s eyes follow you the whole time, and the look in Spencer’s twinkling eyes make Morgan slump back onto the table in realisation.

“Why’d you cancel, Reid?”

“I had to.”

“You had other plans?”

Spencer chews his bottom lip. “No. But I… I couldn’t take them on a date.”

Derek waits for him to elaborate.

“Have you seen the kind of guys hitting on them?” Spencer asks, scooting his chair closer so no one can eavesdrop. “They’re all… They’re- they’re like you, Morgan. All cool and put-together and actually look their age, for one, and I’m not that. I could never be that – and that’s what Y/N wants-“

“Have you asked them that?”

“No. But I’m a profiler, in case you forgot, and I think it makes sense that these big-shouldered, super muscly guys are all over-“

“But you haven’t actually asked them what they want.”

“No.” Spencer sighs, leaning back in his chair.

“That’s your first, and most vital, mistake, my man.”

Spencer purses his lips, catching you watching him over Derek’s shoulder. You immediately look away, shooting off to the evidence room as an escape, and Spencer’s cheeks burn with guilt and embarrassment.

He can’t believe he thought he had a chance with you.

“I feel like this should be obvious, Genius, but Y/N said yes to a date with you, then turned down every offer that came from someone that wasn’t you-“

“That’s because they already made plans with me and they’d feel terrible if they had to cancel for another, better offer. I made it easier for them.”

Derek gives him such an incredulous look Spencer wonders if he should burn his PhDs. “Are you serious?”

The crestfallen expression on Spencer’s face is enough of an answer.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“C’mon,” Derek tugs Spencer up from his chair. “I need to show your dumb ass something.”

All that’s missing is classic spy music when Derek and Spencer sneak into the conference room the BAU is using. Only Hotch is in there, scribbling something down, barely glancing up when the two agents creep in like they’re on a mission.

Spencer doesn’t say anything until Derek reaches for your bag. “Whoa- Morgan-“

“Relax.”

Spencer just stares, brows halfway down his face, and watches silently.

“That’s they’re journal, Morgan, you can’t just read it-“

“It’s not, pretty boy.”

Hotch watches the interaction, mildly confused, then nods to himself when he realises what Morgan’s holding.

Morgan splays the journal on the table in front of them, flipping through pages with precision like it’s his notebook and not yours. When he lands on his desired page, it’s slid towards Spencer.

He reads it.

The Doctor Spencer Reid cheat sheet. (Because I do not have an eidetic memory and feel bad whenever I forget something he tells me)

He’s too stumped by the words cheat sheet to look further, so Derek does it for him, flipping to the next page where very basic information about Spencer sits – full name, date of birth, hometown. As he looks to the page next to it, he realises it’s full of his favourite things – favourite coffee, favourite candy (which has multiple answers, by the way), even favourite pair of socks. Like a switch has been flipped, Spencer comes to life, frantically switching between pages that are overflowing with facts and tidbits about him, from his favourite monologue from his favourite film to his favourite shelf in his apartment. All things he’s told you either in passing or when he’s confided in you at random times, you’ve taken note. You’ve listened, and for some reason you’ve written it all down so you’d never forget.

“What…What is this?”

“It’s everything there is to know about you, Reid.” Derek watches as Spencer slips through the rest of the book, filled with random to-do lists and phone numbers of various people, looking for the same information about the rest of the team. “There’s only one for you, you know. And if you ask me it’s a little creepy, but it’s saved our asses when it’s come to buying gifts for you a good few times.” He slaps a hand on his friend’s shoulder, smirking at how Spencer’s awe-filled eyes never leave the pages before him. “They care about you a lot, Reid. More than you think. So…”

“I need to talk to them.”

“Yes, idiot, you do.”

+++

That night, Elle and Derek invite you to join them for some drinks at the bar, promising they won’t let it escalate to arm wrestling and childish bets like they always do. Even though they make a compelling argument, add on that you’re stressed and upset and really, really want to forget emotions exist more than anything else, you’re half tempted to accept and lose yourself in some cocktails.

Then you spot Spencer talking in hushed tones with Gideon and everything comes flooding back. So you tell Elle to have a drink for you, please don’t make a ruckus when she gets back to your shared room, and bid them adieu.

In your room, you distract yourself by renting one of your favourite movies. It’s overpriced, and a part of you wants to look over the case files again, but being sad and burnt out won’t lead to any good outcomes.

It’s a futile attempt at switching your brain off so you don’t have to think about how excited you were for the date. You’ve had twenty-four hours to get over it, but every time you see him you’re thrown back into the bitterness you feel – bitter that you fooled yourself into thinking it’d work out, bitter that your hopes were so high, bitter that you let your feelings for Spencer become such a big part of your life.

You’re lying on your scratchy hotel bed, thinking about Spencer and how he’s going to be complaining to Morgan about said scratchy beds, when there’s a knock at your door.

Naturally, you assume its Elle. She reminds you so much of your older sister who used to slide you some money so you’d stay up late into the night and quietly let her back into the house after she’s sneaked off to go to a party – except Elle is probably swaying outside your hotel room after losing her keycard rather than swaying on your doorstep.

So when you open the door, teasing quip ready, you legitimately choke when you’re faced with a fidgety Spencer Reid.

He tries to ignore how the way your face drops when you realise it’s him feels like a punch to the gut.

“Hey-“

“No.”

“Oh.”

“You-what-“ He’s never seen you so flustered. “Are you lost?”

Just in case, Spencer leans back to check the number beside your door is in fact 208. It is, and he turns back to you, “Please don’t slam the door in my face.”

It slips out. “I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise your pretty face.”

You’re humiliated that he has this effect on you, the ability to obliterate all your filters and common sense just by existing. But the look on his face alleviates the want to jump out of the window – his mouth opens, twitching into the smallest, most bashful smile before it falls and morphs back into disbelief. You just… You just called his face pretty, a word that makes some feel emasculated but no, never with you. You compliment people and mean it, which makes Spencer’s guilt worsen and the urge to tell you he loves you with his entire heart more intense.

You speak at the same time.

“Why are you-“

“I wanted to-“

You roll your lips together, holding back a smile, and nod for him to go on. He does the same, so you shake your head with a, “I was just asking why you’re here.”

He holds up a finger, signalling one moment, and opens his satchel to start rummaging in it. “I know this is a complete invasion of privacy, and theft, really, but Morgan showed me it and I just- Why do you have this?”

You gasp.

In his hand is the journal you’ve been working on since a month into your employment at the BAU. The gifted notebook was initially used to jot down any bits of advice your superiors gave you (on your first day, Elle gave you a list she lovingly titled “If I wasn’t an FBI agent I’d sock these people in the mouths”) but, before you knew it, it had an entirely different purpose.

It started when you witnessed Derek stumble when asked Spencer’s favourite colour, to which he said no one remembers stuff like that! Aptly followed by Spencer reeling off everyone’s preferred colours (even delving into second favourites and favoured colour schemes) and you realised then that… Spencer’s whole life, he’s remembered so much about the people around him and very rarely have they returned the favour. So, in an attempt to build friendship and because you had the fattest crush on him already, you started the Spencer Reid cheat sheet.

You didn’t think he’d ever see it, even if it’s always used by the team on various occasions. It was the team’s little secret, bar Spencer, that assisted in nearly every decision made on Spencer’s behalf – what to order from restaurants, drinks, birthday and holiday gifts, how to comfort him when he’s stressed or upset.

The responses vary. Derek thinks it’s weird, as did Elle at first, but JJ and Garcia insist its sweet and, really, no matter what they think they’ve all come running to you when time has called for it.

“How… Did you steal it?”

“Yes,” He tells you, guiltily, “I had to read it – it’s incredibly accurate, by the way.”

You don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.

“So… Why?”

“I don’t know,” You say, a bold-faced lie and Spencer can tell, but he lets you continue, “You remember everything about everyone else, so I wanted to… do the same for you, I guess.”

“I have an eidetic memory.”

You airily laugh – does he think you forgot that? “I know that. Doesn’t it get tiring recalling all this information about your friends and not having it reciprocated?”

He clicks his tongue at that, eyes falling back to the notebook in his hands that he fiddles with while he thinks. It is tiring, he supposes, but that’s how it’s always been. He remembers everything, the people around him just… don’t. He realised at a young age that he’ll often have to remind himself that friendship isn’t measured by what they remember, but by other ways – like this. You, with your unassuming journal that is full of things Spencer assumed no one would ever care to remember.

You, with your tensed jaw and fluttering eyes because you’re embarrassed.

You, who’s done quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him, and it’s been happening for years right under his nose.

You, who he cancelled a date with because he was so sure you were dating him out of pity, out of obligation after he asked and you felt forced to say yes, but now he realises you care about him just as much as he cares for you.

Touched feels like an understatement.

“Y/N…”

“If you find it weird, I’ll burn it the second we get home. Pretend it never happened, we can… discuss a restraining order if we must-“

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Oh.”

He smiles at you, hands tight on the book in his hands, smiles so big that his eyes crinkle and his teeth show and he looks gorgeous. It tugs directly on your heart strings and just for a second you forget that he cancelled your date, forget that you’ve been pining for years, and bask in the warmth that radiates from him.

“This is… Insane, really.” He laughs, “But also so… so cool. I don’t deserve this, at all, and to think we could’ve gone on a date but I chickened out-“

“What?”

He shrugs with faux-nonchalance. “The-um- the reason I took back the date was because I think you deserve so much better than me. In a, you deserve someone like all the police officers down at the PD, kind of way. I don’t want a pity date-“

You scoff, then with an indignant, “Come in here,” You grab Spencer’s satchel and tug him into your hotel room, closing the door with a forceful push as he turns to face you.

With your hands on your hips, you stare him down with furrowed brows and a look that screams really? “Is that really what you think, Spence? It was a pity date?”

“Well, yeah,” He tells you. The conviction in his voice is so strong that, if you weren’t this riled up, you’d probably tear up at how sure he sounds.

You give another scoff. “Not only am I offended you think I’d do that to anyone, but I’m also mad that you don’t see how I look at you! Spencer, I’ve been into you since I started working here-“ His mouth falls open. You’re exasperated. “-and the notes were a way to get to know you, yes, but they were also because I couldn’t stop watching you and had to play it off like I was doing it for a reason. You’re my favourite, Spencer.”

His heart aches a little, full of such a tenderness he’s never quite felt before. He feels loved, and so, so touched that someone would put so much effort into getting to know him and… years. Literal years you’ve liked him, and he’s been blind to it.

“I like you a lot.” You’re breathless after your little speech, “And if you still don’t want that date, that’s okay. But I like you, Spence, I really like you.”

Your gaze never wavers. Spencer wants to scoop you up and place kisses all over. For the first time in a while, he feels worthy. Like what you’re saying isn’t being said for the sake of it, because you’re his friend and you have to support him, but because it’s what you genuinely think and feel and Spencer might be in love.

He swallows deeply before speaking.

“I really like you, too, Y/N. And I’m-I’m sorry that I cancelled the date and- I should’ve talked to you, maybe, before doing it, but… We’re here now, right?”

“You want to have a date right now?”

Thumbing through the book, he says, “Actually, there’s some blanks in here I’d like to fill, if you’re not busy…”

You’re very clearly on board with the suggestion, basically skipping to your bed, plopping down and patting the space beside you with a grin. “I’m not busy at all, Doctor Reid. Tell me everything I don’t already know.”

So he does, thigh pressed against yours and blush on his cheeks when you let your head fall onto his shoulder.

The night is spent giggling over the most random information you’ve gathered, correcting only one mistake (his favourite socks change every week, not your fault), and adding onto the already plentiful fact file.

And the date that weekend happens, ending in a sweet kiss on your doorstep that leaves you both with shy smiles and thundering hearts.

It’s the first date of many, followed by the creation of a new journal full of all there is to know about your and Spencer’s relationship.

+++

tags: @pinkdiamond1016 @bluerose512 @andreasworlsboring101 @bitchyreids @roses-and-grasses @ta-ka-shi-ma @chiffonchronicles @rexorangecouny @unmistakablyunknown @goofygubler14 @jasongideonapologist @gublertoon @averyhotchner

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #i tried to write the first half in the past tense but i got confused so sorry if the tenses r weird

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multifandomingmess · 3 years

Text

The One That Got Away (Sonny Carisi x Daughter!Reader) Part 1/2

anonymous inquired:

Hii do you fanfics, imagines for SVU? If so can you do a Sonny x reader where you are his daughter and you try to kill yourself after being raped. The team finds out and hunts the rapist down. If you could make it middle length maybe? It’s ok if you can’t. If you can thank youuu

Trigger Warning(s): mentions of rape, description of rape, suicide attempt, self-harm, language, etc..

Reminder: Spoilers from recent episodes of SVU - so Carisi is ADA now. If you don't like spoilers, please watch/start on Season 22 beforehand. Thank you.

You could still feel the touch of him. How he threw you around like garbage. When you look down at your legs, you see reminders of him. That night was horrifying for you. However, you weren't surprised that you were targeted since you're the daughter of ADA Carisi.

Y/N Carisi - you were born on M/D/Y - having e/c eyes and h/c hair. Despite all that, you grew up near the SVU, so you knew the signs but you felt like you were stupid and deserved this. Like it was meant to happen. You haven't told anyone because you felt ashamed. You know (for a fact) that your dad will literally kill the guy - but you don't want him to risk his job for you.

(POV CHANGE - I/IM/ME/FIRST PERSON)

I came home from school and immediately went to my bedroom. My dad wasn't home yet so I just lay in my bed - and do what I've been doing. I just look at the wall and think. I think about the things I've done, the things I've wanted to do, the things I want to do, and the things that I wanted to do but was too scared to do so.

It's hard being an ADA's daughter because I've seen the threats he's gotten. People have cyberbullied me a lot, which isn't a surprise, but it's still not pleasant. Through my dad, I've felt unsafe because of threats I received - and some of the things that have been done to me.

A few weeks ago, I was raped after my dad won a case. The convicted man's family, who is apart of a mafia, seemed to convey hatred against him. I'm not sure if it's one of them that raped me but I just want to block it out. I want to forget it ever happened but it's not that easy. The past few days have been even harder because the thoughts have gotten worse. My dad knows I struggle with my mental health, in general, but he doesn't know why it's worsened lately. He doesn't know that I've started self-harming again.

It's hard to be alone with all these thoughts - because it's getting harder. I look at the belt nearby and place my hand against the leather. I just want this pain to be gone.

(HOURS LATER; 3RD PERSON POV)

Sonny finally arrived home. He had been trying to get a hold of Y/N but he had no luck. He opened the front door to a silent apartment. He was used to the silence but he felt a different feeling - like something was - like a gut instinct. He knew something was up.

He began to call Y/N's name, "Y/N! Are you home?" Silence. Just pure silence. He looked around the apartment and noticed her backpack on the kitchen counter - so she was home.

He went down the hallway and saw her bedroom door barely shut. He opened the door and he felt his stomach turn. Y/N was hanging from a belt. He rushed to her and unbuckled the belt carefully, so she would fall down, but he grabbed her in time. She placed her on the floor and felt for a pulse. It was weak but she had a pulse.

He took his phone out and dialed 911, before putting the speakerphone on and placing it on the ground. He immediately began chest compressions.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"This is ADA Sonny Carisi of Manhattan. I just came home to my daughter who attempted suicide. Please, send some paramedics and SVU here."

He continued the CPR, "Are there signs of sexual abuse?"

"I don't know but something isn't right. I'm doing CPR right now. Her pulse is weak. Please, hurry."

"Yes sir, just keep doing what you're doing. They're on their way."

Sonny continued to do the compressions, hoping she'd wake up, but she was still unconscious.

"Come on, baby..." He mumbled under his breath, as he continued the compressions.

Minutes went by and the paramedics arrived, along with SVU. They rushed into the house and Sonny stood by, as they began to take her vitals and placed her on a stretcher. Sonny felt like his whole world was turning upside down.

Olivia rushed in there, along with Amanda. "Sonny, what happened?"

"I came home to check on her because she wasn't answering her phone, so when I got here - something felt off and went to her room and found her like this..." He explained, trying to contain his emotions.

"Do you think she was raped?" Amanda questioned, causing Sonny to look down to the ground.

"I don't know but she hasn't been suicidal... I've been with her and something isn't right about this."

Olivia watched them take her out on the stretcher, noticing scratches on her arms, before sighing. Sonny was right. Something was wrong.

Hours had passed and Y/N awoke in a hospital bed, looking around to see her dad and some of his friends. "Dad?"

Sonny immediately rushed to his daughter's side and gave a kiss on her forehead. "How are you, sweetheart?"

She remembered what she did and regret filled her eyes. She placed her palms over her eyes and shook her head. "I'm so sorry, dad..."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N." Sonny assurred but she shook her head, throwing her hands down on the bed.

"I do, I really do, Dad." Y/N sobbed out, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Sonny looked at her and grabbed her hand, rubbing the back of her hand gently.

"Honey, why are you sorry?" She began to tug at the IV, trying to take it out. Machines began to beep uncontrollably, "You're safe, Y/N!"

"Dad, you're gonna kill me..." She yelled out in hysterics, nurses beginning to barge in.

"Sedate her!" One of the nurses shouted. Sonny was forced to get out of the room as he watched her fight off nurses.

"What happened to my babygirl?"

"Sonny..." Olivia began as she placed a hand on his back. "I think she's been raped or assaulted."

Sonny felt himself becoming numb and in shock. Olivia had it wrong, or did she? It would make a lot of sense, though. The huge question was why? Why would someone hurt his babygirl? That question ran through his mind.

Hours passed by and Sonny anxiously paced the halls of the hospital. Olivia had gone in there to talk with Y/N. Sonny knew he couldn't do it and just knew that she wouldn't talk to him about it. Not yet, at least.

"It's going to be okay, Carisi..." Amanda reassured, standing up after sitting in the chair for some time. "We will figure this all out but you need to sit down, you'll make yourself sick."

"I already feel sick and disgusted. I should've known something was off. I should've taken off work when her behavior started changing but I thought it was just teenage things. We've all gone through it..."

Amanda tightened her lips, biting the inside of her cheek. It was really unfortunate. The creak from the hospital room's door interrupted the two. Olivia came out with a clipboard, approaching Sonny at once. "I need you to sit down, Sonny..."

Sonny knew exactly what Olivia was going to say. Either way, nothing would stop the anger evolving inside of him. He didn't protect his daughter like he was always promised. He was already blaming himself.

"She was raped about a week ago. His identity is unknown but she said he had green eyes, black hair, pale skin, and dressed very neatly - but she mentioned that he said it was a warning for you..."

Sonny curled his eyebrows together, bringing eye contact with Olivia. He began to shook his head, grabbing the sides of his face, burying his face into his lap. "No..."

"She said he supposedly was a relative of a case you beat recently."

Carisi pounded his fist into his legs, screaming out, "Damn it!"

He jumped to his feet immediately, rushing toward the exit of the building, anger overcoming him.

"Sonny, you can't pursue this case!" Olivia yelled through the distance. "I have the authority to arrest you and I don't want to do that..."

He stopped in his tracks, turning to her. "You won't let me pursue this but you pursued your buddy Stabler's wife's case..."

"Excuse me?"

"If you can help your old partner out, then you can have my back on this... Either way, I have a feeling on who this is, and no one's stopping me - not even you."

With that, Carisi rushed out of the hospital building, leaving Olivia speechless. She looked at Amanda and audibly sighed.

Carisi got home and skimmed through each case file thoroughly, especially recent cases.

Brown v. Powell

New York State v. Senator Graham

Little v. Brewster

Jackson v. Gallagher

As he went past the Jackson v. Gallagher file, he pulled up the list of relatives for the Gallagher case (the opposing side). He saw Michael Gallagher. He was 35 and had all the features his daughter reportedly claimed. He clenched his hands into fists for a moment before hearing the doorbell ring. He snapped out of it and went to open the door.

In the pouring rain, Olivia stood there. Carisi found himself surprised but grateful.

"I'm sorry..." She gently apologized as she dug her hands into the pockets of her trenchcoat.

"We don't have time for that. I think I found a suspect..."

Olivia widened her eyes a bit as he led her to his office. He began to explain the case to her, which was complicated but expressed how one of the relatives had been sending threats since the trial completed. In which, we have Michael Gallagher.

"This is good... He looks just like the guy she described. This is a good sign, Sonny." Olivia admitted as she pulled out her phone. "I'm going to have them test Y/Ns DNA samples and possibly other DNA matches as soon as they can."

"Thank you, Liv."

She flashed a sly smile at him before she headed out. However, Sonny wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon, so the night would be interesting.

#sonny carisi #law and order svu #law and order: svu #lawandorder #law and order #law and order svu imagines #carisi #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x reader #detective carisi #ada carisi

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minjoonalist · 5 years

Text

Predilection | Chapter Two.

Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]

Words: 3.5k

Genre: Angst, eventual Smut, fluff

Warnings : explicit wording

Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.

———

“So how’d it go?” Your best friend slings his bag over the chair next you.

You were spending your last free day in the school’s library to finish up on some homework and you couldn't help but feel bummed out. Before you had made the depressing decision to cram every note you’d managed to take in the last few days, you finally made the wise decision to seek out your professor and request a new housing like Taehyung suggested.

Your head rises from the open notebook, eyes squinted and your hair tied up in a messy bun, because you hated when it fell on your face as you read. You felt extremely tired, no thanks to the lack of sleep you got from your sudden anxiety and Taehyung’s slightly worried expression told you that maybe you looked worse than you felt.

“Huh?” you rasped sitting up.

“ I said how did it go? Y’know, operation ‘get rid of fuck boy duo’ ?” He raises a hand to pull a stubborn strand of hair behind your ear, a small desperate smile gracing his features.

You furrowed your brows in return, your eyes narrowing in on him when you start to notice his flustered state. He was sweaty, His hair was wild, lips swollen, and the dark purplish hue that was stuck on his collarbone made its appearance once he shuffled to take off a sweater you’ve never seen before.

“Oh right! Let's see..-he said no.” you pouted and shrugged at him. “I’m sorry Ms. y/n, but it's just too late for that. I’m sure all of you will pull through...That. That was his response.”

The look tae returns, only reminds you of the one you made when you received your rejection. Even when you’ve tried over and over to convince the man of the unhealthy nature that stood between you three, he would only continue to insist that you solve it on your own. It only left you with no choice but to accept your tragic fate.

“So he’s making you stay with Captain hook and Tinkerbell?! Thats fucking crazy-” he starts to rant, his anger spiking too high for the atmosphere. you didn't like whenever he got worked up like that, so you attempt to change the subject at hand.

“Tae the only thing that seems to be crazy right now, is how you came late to our study date, looking as if you’ve just ran a marathon.” you quirked your brow and if you thought that the man had seemed flustered before, then his face must’ve felt as hot as the sun by now. His cheeks went from a pinkish hue to completely red and you couldn't help but to simply giggle at his expense.

“Alright …” you stretched in your seat before turning towards him “who was it?”.

He glances away nervously from you, his bottom lip caught in between his teeth. You could say on some level you were completely shocked. Over all your years of friendship you’ve never known your best friend to be shy about spilling his latest activities with you and that included telling you who's poor soul it was. You knew that it had been awhile since he’s had sex and he hasnt really taken an interest anyone-...wait.

“Oh my god…” your eyes widen. The excitement in your voice makes him look up at you. A mixture of curiosity and fear seen within his eyes because he somewhat knew you had already figured it out. There was only one person he couldn't bring himself to act cool in front of and that was none other than- You look around, eyes searching for anyone who might be listening when you turn back to him and mouth ‘Min yoongi?’

Taehyung cringes before groaning out of frustration.

“I just wanted to talk!! How was I supposed to know he would fall for my hot ass-” he cries out dramatically until someone from afar has shushes him. He then sends a nasty glare towards their direction, only to come back towards you to finish “ and I didnt fuck anyone sadly, … I made out with them.”

“You mean him’ as in Min Yoongi?” you try to correct and get a better answer with full smirk on your face.

Taehyung pouts for a bit. “ You know I find other people attractive besides him.” he mumbles “ anyways don't you remember? I was a complete dumb bitch the last time I talked to him. I turned him down to talk about living arrangements-”.

Suddenly he sits up from his slouching position a shocked expression on his face as if he had just realized something.“Oh shit!” He springs forward.

“What? What's happening?” You shuffle back a little, scared by how frantic he looks all of a sudden.

“ I-I’ve got to go. I-I completely forgot that I’m going to be staying with my crush for an entire week!” he says quickly standing up from his chair and you watch as he quickly reaches for all of his items.

“Hey! where are you going? You just got here” you say a bit saddened by the sudden departure. He grabs his bag, slinging it back up onto his shoulders and comes to land a gentle kiss on your temple. He does this sweet gesture and begins to sprint away before you could say anything else-but not forgetting to yell “I need to pack cuter clothes for Yoongi hyung! Bye!”. you sit there in your spot only shaking your head in return.

“Um hello?” a light voice comes from your side.

With a deep smile still being placed onto your features, you don't pay no mind to it. You were still too busy watching your friend’s retreating figure as he rushes away from your teasing of his crush. While he may not have audibly confirmed who the handsy culprit was, his face certainly did and all you wanted to do, was gush for him.

“Right. I’m dumb and Im just gonna go fuck myself now…” the same voice chimes behind you again, except all confidence before had completey vanished and you finally noticed.

“Wait huh?” you then ask turning around from your spot only to be met with another retreating figure that had it’s hoodie up.

From first glance you could almost assume that they were someone you had seen before. Their walk, their shape, and maybe even just the way they were carrying themselves with grace - it all seemed too familiar to you and Immediately you feel guilty from their words. It sounded as if they had gathered so much strength to talk to you and all you did was Ignore their attempt.

Your head throbbed, eyes were droopy and you wanted nothing more than to go take a nice nap in your bed after all that studying. It had been approximately 3 hours since taehyung had left you to your own presence and you still wondered who the mystery figure was that tried to talk to you earlier.

You’re leaning over in your chair, your bag in front of you as you packed up your remaining items. Your eyes trains on the overstuffed case, when a white object is set down in front of your view. You snap slightly towards it, your mind immediately registering it as a small coffee to-go cup.

“Still spending your life in the library I see, huh nerd?” the voice comes out a bit hoarse as if it’s owner wasn't usually one to speak. But they did and you knew they did -but only to the ones they cared about. Funny that at one point it used to be you...

You could've grabbed everything and got up, hell you could have taken the damn coffee and chucked it at the miserable man that dare to speak to you as if everything was fine. But of course, because you were so damn weak and you couldn't control the shock that had you in it’s vice grip, you look up to the handsomely dark male that once called himself your best friend.

“Jungkook?” You breathed. Swallowing thickly, in your now suddenly dry throat. His tall yet lean figure, shifts slightly from hearing his name come out of your mouth and he simply sends you a small nod in return.

“Y/n.” he greets.

Jungkook wasn't surprised at the frown that immediately comes onto your face and he also wasn't surprised that you didn't notice his little peace offering.

“What are you doing here?” Was the exact question he had already braced himself for when he decided it was best to get to you before his boyfriend did. Not long after jimin’s little show, did he verbally express numerous times he was going to come after you despite what jungkook thought and it was only up to the man himself to at least warn you.

“Did you take a wrong turn or something?” Yet another question comes from you. You were beyond confused by the boy’s odd appearance as he stood watching you silently with a cold expression that was completely different from what you were used to. Even if you both had not been friends for years, never once before have you ever had jungkook look at you without some type of adoration in his eyes.

Until now.

He snaps out of his emotionless trance and comes to take the empty seat in front of you. “Its an Americano with three pumps of vanilla- thought you could use some.” he finally says quietly as the coffee cup in front of you is pushed further your way and you slowly raise a skeptical brow. You then sit back a bit, completely stranger to the man you used to cuddle whenever you felt like it. It was weird how close you could be with someone and then suddenly you werent. Even so, it amazed you that he stilled remembered your go-to coffee.

“Um thanks.” you nod reaching for it, but then hesitating to take a sip “you didn't poison this did you?” you asked narrowing your eyes.

Jungkook blinks momentarily at your question and once he takes in what exactly you asked him he sends you a flat look in return. “ No. I don't know about you, but I do want to get an A in this class. I think me, poisoning one of my partners would be a childish decision ” Jungkook says matter-of-factly and the way he sends you a cold glare while taking a sip of his own drink has you wondering just when did the man become so...bitter?

You take your gaze away from him and lower it back down towards your coffee, a slight blush on your cheeks. The grip on it becoming a bit tighter as you grit your teeth in irritation “I wouldn't call it childish” you mutter under your breath. He’d only been around for about 5 minutes and you were already thinking about poisoning him.

Jungkook takes note of your immediate irritation. You never noticed but the way his eyes suddenly glimmered from your deplore of his comment. It was sure enough a number one sign of his ill intentions and After a silence passes by, only then does his emotionless expression return just before he speaks.

“We need to talk about jimin.”

———

There were three things you were sure of the moment Jungkook had decided to confront you while at the library. One, the boy was still as loathsome as the day you both parted, Two you were definitely plotting his death by poison and three...you don't know what kind of overbearing confidence Jimin has been feeding the man over the years, but Jeon Jungkook was way too conceited for his own good.

Ten minutes pass the time you were supposed to be heading home, were the same ten minutes you were stuck watching Jungkook babble on to you about...well you didn't know because you weren't listening.

You blinked slowly.

The sight of the muted raven’s lips moving in a concentrated flow to create a very long speech you surely weren't listening to. While so, you took the time to notice the small features of the grown man that had changed over time. His hair had grown out past the usual short cut he always kept, the boyishly round jawline you were used to seeing had transformed into something that one could say was sharp, and his eyes...while they were now cold towards you, even a blind bat could tell that once they fell upon you with a loving warmth- it could make anyone fall to their knees.

Although you hated the man himself, you had to admit no amount of disliking could make you so oblivious to how completely hot he is now. Too bad those good looks had to be wasted on such a shitty person...

“-you're not even listening.” his voice finally registers in your ears and he watches as your once glazed eyes snaps into alertness.

“h-huh what?” you stutter while finally bringing your lost attention back onto him. Jungkook’s highly bothered gaze, stays on you and when he sees the confused expression that you give him in return. It only confirms his suspicions of you not listening to a damn thing he was saying.

“Attention deficit. Even now you wont pay attention to me. ” Jungkook then sighs, his body sliding down as he leans his head back into his chair.

This was a lot more annoying than he expected it to be.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Your brow furrows and you cross your arms at his sly comment. The last place that you wanted to be in this moment was in front of jungkook and he had the nerve to insult you right as you were sitting across from him?

Jungkook raises his head once again only to be met with a harsh glare from your point and Inside he mentally scolds himself for letting those words slip out his mouth. “Nothing.” He quickly replies just before leaning over and more towards you. “I know you don't want to talk to me right now...or ever and I can see you’re more than less thrilled about having to put up with both Jimin and I for a week. I don't like repeating myself, So for once could you please listen to me y/n?” He pleads another emotion besides irritation filling his eyes.

There it was again… you thought to yourself, noting the way jungkook seems to insinuate that you never listen to him and if it hadn't been for the fact that you wanted him out of your sight as soon as possible, you would have asked why he seems to keep the pattern. In- fact the longer you both were in each other’s company, the angrier you become and receiving an F’ for this project was seeming worth it to you. If this was the kind of person you would have to talk to everyday in order to get work done, there was no way any of you were going to pass.

“We need to talk about Jimin” he repeats the same phrase, he uttered only a few moments ago and This time, they actually pique your interest. You then quirk a brow in question, no reasons for why he would want to talk about the silver haired man coming to your head.

“Why? Flaunting him around in my face not doing it for you?” You ask rhetorically, not even attempting to hide the bitterness in your voice. This makes Jungkook narrows his eyes. The faintest smirk appearing on his lips but deep down there was that familiar pinch of emotion that he’d learned to keep at bay. Guilt

“You know green never looked good on you y/n.” He clicks his tongue.

“And being a dick isn’t a great personality trait.” your reply was quick as you attempt to hide the silent sting of his words. You then raise your chin high, feigning confidence “ speaking of- ...what the hell does your boyfriend have to do with me?” You ask finally giving into the evil gaze that probably wasn't going to budge anytime soon.

Jungkook takes a moment to look at you, seeing that you’re equally as harsh gaze had no falter. Brows furrowed, star gazed eyes narrowed into slits, and soft looking lips pursed into a thin line-...wait did he just call your lips soft? What the fuck.

He blinks to himself.

“Well?” You prod, completely unaware of his sudden turmoil.

Jungkook clears his throat “Well, I guess I’ll just start off with the obvious fact that you have a non-stop hard on for him.” he speaks, looking too sure of himself. He would have thought this would have been a bit easier to communicate with you, but somehow he found it hard to tell you that karma was basically kicking him in his ass.

“Every girl has those for jimin, jungkook-” you snort and he rolls his eyes.

“But they’re not like you...”

“How so?” you inquire, a brow still quirked skeptically towards him. Jungkook sighs again but a bit more audibly this time “ You’re just different. They don't have our past history- our relationship.”

“Right, because normal girl’s don't have their crushes sucked away by a snake best friend.” You conclude sarcastically and It comes out just as venomous as you wanted it to “ how lucky am I? ”

The right eye on jungkook’s face twitches and he bites back his winning anger. Why he hasn't gotten up from this table yet was beyond his comprehension, he usually didn't have this kind of patience- not even for Jimin. Maybe because he wants to have it for you.

“Well my boyfriend wants to fuck you in more ways than one…so I’d say pretty damn lucky.” Jungkook swallows, his bottom lip being caught in between his teeth.

You frown and the air in between you shifts just when you start to see unease within his features. It feels as if time has just slowed down, the subtle beating within your heart escalating at jungkook’s highly alarming confession and you try your best not to let your mouth hang open.

Your body freezes, eyes bulging out slightly as you look away in shock and then understanding. For a moment, you wanted to believe that what Jungkook was telling you was true- that the very man you’ve fantasized multiple times about has suddenly done the same for you. But of course you couldn't, only holding onto the silent fear that this was all just some sick joke he came up with to hurt you even more.

Your fists clench at you side. You felt anger spike through you, from the thought of the evil boy plotting harm to you. “That's it? that's why you’re here? To tell me that your little love slave suddenly has his eye on me? How dumb do you think I am?” You sneer at him, your words getting louder by the second and you forget that the both of you were currently situated within a library.

What ever reaction jungkook thought you were going to have towards this conversation, it wasn't one of anger. surprise, happy- maybe even a bit of relief, but he certainly never pictured you rising from your seat and leaning over the table with a look that could kill an army.

He shifts a bit.

“ Do you think I'm so desperate that I would just jump immediately at your word? I'm not naive, little y/n anymore Jeon” you couldn't help yourself, watching as jungkook blinks rapidly towards you.

“Y/n that's not-“ Jungkook frowns and he tries to calm you down, but you were too far gone.

“I'm not that little puppet you can manipulate. I was your friend and that's what you should have treated me as...what the hell did I ever do to you?” The words leave your mouth before you could even register it. It was a fair question, that always seem to plague your mind whenever you thought about this. You’ve asked him this before of course, but for some reason you could never seem to remember what it was that he told you. All you knew was that no matter what it was, there was just no excuse for ever hurting your friend like that.

A long silence goes by.

“Friend.” He simply repeats after a moment. “ y/n you weren't my friend. Friends hangout everyday, friends share laughs and listen to each other's problems or secrets. Friends don't ignore each other’s entire existence when they wanted them most. Friends don't let the other fall while they take a step back…” By then Jungkook had slowly risen out of his seat as well, his speech strong with emotion until the last part had become so low you’ve completely missed it.

However that wasn't your worry, what registered with you most, was the pain his eyes bore into you -as if he wanted you to see everything that he’d kept inside all these years. If that it-self wasn't distracting then maybe it was the fact that jungkook had copied your stature without thinking it through fully. While he leaned over the table - his face only a few mere inches away, it dawns on you quickly that he was way too close into your personal space.

Even knowing so, you still wouldn't budge because you refused to be the one to submit. Instead you kept your unmoving glare onto his wavering eyes, your steady breathing against his increasing inhales, your frozen frame in shock when his moves in even closer, and a blank mind when his lips are suddenly on yours.

Jungkook had snapped.

Chapter Two | Masterlist

#jimin #jungkook #bts #bangtan #bts scenerio #bts imagine #bts smut #bts au #predilection #bts angst #bts fluff #jikook #bts x reader #jikook x reader #jungkook smut #jimin smut #au

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pitayatea · 5 years

Text

Talk is Jericho: The Emancipation of Jon Moxley

(i highly recommend listening to the episode if you have time, its a great listen and it goes a lot into jons thought process behind his leaving and the timeline from august until he left. if you dont have time or just want a rundown before you listen to see if youd be interested, i complied a list of points in the episode,,, i guess? idk.)

(none of these are in order im horrible at listing things but all of this was discussed at some point):

- mox started the podcast saying he harbors no ill will for wwe, how grateful he is for the time he spent there, how they helped him grow as a person, etc. he also talks fondly of the make a wish program and the fans and everything.

- there's a good bit of him talking about renee and describing her as his best friend, his soulmate, and how even if they had nothing it was fine bc they had each other. prime otp shit we stan. im sorry i love their relationship.

- jon describes a time where he was approached about a promo describing him doing stupid stuff that an idiot would do (riding a unicycle backwards, sharing pizza with a homeless dude, etc), and asking that it be changed because he doesnt want his character to be seen as an idiot. the line was taken out and readded by vince. when he confronted vince, vince didnt see the issue and described the segment as good shit and thought it described the dean character perfectly, which jon took as being described as an idiot.

- jon hated his heel turn, and defined it as being heavily micromanaged and told numerous stories of fighting with scripts and writers and vince because they wanted to do joke shit that he didnt want to do. he hated the germaphobe angle, he despised the vaccine promo, and it was all stuff pushed by vince.

- he also talks about other promos he hated before his heel turn, and a lot of it started as early as the 2014 feud with seth (the hotdog cart, seth mannequin, etc.)

- i actually remember an older tij episode where he goes into detail about how it was vince who pushed the mannequin thing, and how he once walked into vinces office and found vince sitting in his chair, facing the mannequin, with weapons laid out, verbally describing what he wanted to do to the mannequin... do with that what you will.

- (aka vince is senile which,,, we been knew)

- both of the stories he told are extremely interesting: one describes the time he knew for sure he was gone and started counting the days, and the other describes the time he almost walked out.

- there was numerous lines during his heel turn that he refused to use and demanded to be changed.

- one of which was a joke about a pooper-scooper that got changed to the gas mask line. he describes literally having to go behind vinces back and rushing with writers to get a copy of the script without the joke onto vinces desk before the one with the joke got there because vince wouldve forced him to do it.

- he describes all the promos he did that night as confusing and not telling stories, and remarked that "if we didnt need to run around and try to not look like idiots, we could focus on telling stories", which flustered a writer he was with at the time.

- the writers and jon got a note from vince which stated "dean needs to understand why he needs to insult the audience. dean needs to read his promos verbatim and not try to rewrite them." jon remembers feeling like he got punched in the gut and lashed out in frustration at a writer (in retrospect, he admitted it wasnt the writer's fault and he was just emotional).

- "why do i work here? im a professional wrestler, who can tell stories and come up with promos and i believe i have the ability to talk people into buildings, i learned those skills years ago, and i wanted bring them to the wwe, and you just want me to say your stupid lines. if you want someone to stay your stupid lines, hire an actor because theyll probably do a better job of it than me. im not interested in doing it."

- he spoke frankly about the fact that wwe is a billion dollar company, run by an alleged genius, filled with adults, and they were talking about pooper-scoopers, and how ridiculous it sounds.

- after the pooper-scooper joke was removed, vince took the gas mask comment literally and tried to make jon go out with a surgical match. eventually, it was talked down to the hankerchief that made it into the final cut of the promo.

- vince once mentioned how jon had so much creative license, to which jon remarks: "what creative license? what creative license do I have? i do exactly what you tell me and its terrible crap. thats not creative license."

- he booked it immediately after the show, got into the hotel, and immediately thought (after thinking that he needed a drink) that the entire segment was a waste of time because they got nothing done, and he didnt get why everyone was celebrating afterwards. he remarked that after doing six promos in one night, he couldnt say what the story was, who the characters were, and that the angle was dead, if it wasnt already.

- jericho agreed that the creative process of going through vince is awful and that it burns you out and that, at the end of the night, the match was the easy part.

- jon was never scared of getting fired for being outspoken, because he still did the work. if he couldnt convince vince that it wasnt a good idea, hed go out and try hard to make it good.

- jon woke up to a text from a writer describing the vaccine segment, and he responded that he "fucking hated it" and the writer texted back "yeah, i know".

- by the time he showed up to the building, word had gotten out that he wasnt happy with the vaccine promo. vince knew jon wasnt happy and called him to his office to reassure him that the bit wasnt comedic, and that its good stuff and its well written and would get him so much heat. he explains all of this while laughing, immediately proving that it is comedic, and said there was no props involved, to which jon replied "then whats with the actor we hired to play the doctor or the giant syringe? are those not props?"

- jon was ***EXTREMELY*** uncomfortable making comments about romans leukemia, and didnt even want to say the lines that got on tv, and sounded audibly pissed off when talking about it. when he confronted vince, vince said that roman needs to be in the story, that dean turned on both roman and seth, and that roman is a key part of the story.

- both jericho and jon then talk briefly about the 'vince jedi mind trick', where he makes things seem better than they actually are, and jon fell victim to it in that promo despite considering himself to be immune. he immediately regretted the lines as soon as he said them.

- there was a line in a promo talking about romans cancer that jon refused outright to say, and wouldnt even say it on the episode. all he said is that the wwe wouldve lost sponsors (esp the susan g. komen sponsorship) and someone (likely him) wouldve gotten fired. vince tried to convince him to say the lines but he absolutely refused and it was a matter of "ok i guess youre not comfy bc its roman" and not "its extremely offensive" with vince agreeing to not force the promo. jon then said it wouldnt have mattered to vince anyways bc he wouldnt have been blamed for it, and it wouldve been jon who took all of the heat. he then makes a comment in case whoever was responsible for the promo was listening:

- jons wanted to leave wwe since july 2018, and almost walked out after an episode of raw during his heel turn due to creative frustrations.

- jon wanted to return from injury as a completely new heel character. he brought this up to vince twice - once in february, when they thought hed be cleared for wrestlemania 34, and once in july, before his actual return.

- in february, vince had stated that they could do what jon wanted to do. the story changed by july due to them advertising the shield for the aus super showdown and not wanting to take them off the billing.

- they then wanted him to return as seths buddy in his corner for summerslam. jon wanted to return at summerslam as a surprise, and vince had an original plan for him to show up at the go home show for summerslam and just,,, be there, but agreed to go with jons plan.

- the week of summerslam, a writer contacted jon while he was training with joey mercury and cody hawk in cincinnati that he was, in fact, showing up at the go home show for vinces original plan. essentially, vince lied to him to sedate him because jon says he was extremely outspoken about everything. he managed to talk vince and the writers into putting a little bit of action into the go home show.

- jon hated the line that seth said to announce his return ("since you have a scottish psycopath, i ought to have a lunatic in mine"), which was entirely a line planted by the creative team and wasnt the fault of jon or seth. he felt like it muddled the crowd reaction and the pop bc everyone was reacting in different ways and he thought they shouldve just played the music because "how can you screw that up?"

- hes been creatively frustrated since 2016 on smackdown.

- by the time he left the company, he hated the character of dean ambrose and couldnt look at himself in the mirror.

- they tried burying dean with the nia storyline and squash matches, but fans loved him so much that vince saw dollar signs and pushed for the shield reunion tour. if it wasnt for fans being behind him, jon wouldve been mercilessly buried.

- aew was not his main reason for leaving. originally, he wanted to go back to czw or the indies. he wouldve left the company no matter what - even if no other promotions existed, he wouldve left and created his own promotion.

- jon described feeling severe symptoms of depression during his last few months, to the point where he couldnt motivate himself to get out of bed or go to the gym or do anything. he even looked up symptoms on webMD to confirm what he was feeling - jericho also confirmed it the second jon started talking about it.

- he outright stated that vince and the creative process and the shit vince had built around the wwe since 2002 is killing the company.

- he does not want to compete with wwe, he just wants to try and push them to improve the product and try and get vince to step back slightly and not micromanage so heavily.

- jon only got paid 500 bucks for the shields final chapter special, which is the same price that extras get on main shows and the same price that unused roster members get for just showing up and sitting in catering. jericho then brought up that during a house show street fight between him and ambrose, they both only got paid 750. 500 and 750 are bare minimum prices for just showing up - so they barely got paid for a dangerous gimmick match on a house show.

- jon and cody have been friends since before cody left wwe, and used to sit backstage and watch old wcw matches while getting ready for matches.

- he considers codys experience to be similar to his, and that they both experienced the same frustrations at different times.

- jon and jericho both agree that tony khan (CEO of aew) is the exact opposite of vince, and is a bigger wrestling fan than vince is. jericho then brings up that he doesnt see how vince can be a fan any longer because hes been doing it so long without a break. jon agreed and stated that vince is never gonna retire and is def gonna die in the chair, and how he just needs to step back a little bit.

- jericho brought up how jon broke the internet and jon practically jumped at the chance to tell the story.

- "king of social media, mic drop bitches." that is the line of the century im sorry.

- the inspo for the original mox teaser released on may first was inspired by the first venom teaser trailer.

- double or nothing was already planned to be moxs first appearance when the teaser dropped, and he had to keep it on the dl to make sure no dirtsheets reported it and no one advertised him to be there. he admitted he isnt tech-savvy and everyone who hes friends with who is belong to wwe, and the dude who helped him film the teaser was sick nick mondo.

- the trailer took two days to film and cost eight grand, but jon admits he wanted it to be quality and didnt care.

- while filming the trailer, vince texted him to try and extend his contract for the europe tour bc shield money. his response was that he was committed to a film project, which vince took as him filming a movie and not him filming the trailer.

- jon didnt tweet the trailer, he had a social media expert time it to where it released at exactly midnight through some techno shit with twitter.

- roman and seth knew how unhappy jon was in wwe and they were understandably sad to see him go but they wanted him to be happy.

- he talks about how he told seth he was leaving: seth had responded that he was super bummed out, and jon told him that he "is a wild animal, babe" and has been contained for too long. seth immediately agreed, saying it was the perfect analogy.

- the way he describes it kinda describes seth being more broken about jon leaving than roman, which also correlates with seths responses to questions about him leaving. do with that what you will, shippers.

- from now on, nothing is driven by money for him. everything is driven by trying to be the best he can be. he wants that for everyone: he wants his friends to be the best they can be, he wants his wife to be the best she can be, he wants the fans to be happy and everything, but his happiness is the most important thing.

- he feels more passionate about wrestling now, and describes it as his first love and his only love besides renee. the way he describes it reminds me of cm punk losing his passion due to wwe, and i feel like he wouldve ended up exactly like punk if he stayed any longer.

- his favorite part of the business is promos, and the scripted promos made him loathe it. aew gave him his passion for promos and wrestling back.

- he compares himself to the dentist elf from rudolph. his closing line is "if you're an elf and you wanna be a dentist, be a dentist." jericho edits in an audio clip from rudolph at the end and its great.

- jon is looking forward to working with legitimately everyone in aew and thinks of it as helping draw eyes to the product and to other lesser known talent, similar to jericho.

- he doesnt want a war, no matter how much he jokes about it. he just wants to show vince that the way he runs his show isnt the only way and it definitely isnt the right way.

- jon, speaking directly to vince: "your creative process sucks. fix it."

(i listened to the podcast in full three times, and i repeatedly replayed segments to confirm everything. if i missed something, lmk.)

#wwe #aew #all elite wrestling #jon moxley #dean ambrose #jonathan good #chris jericho #talk is jericho #mentions of #vince mcmahon #renee young #roman reigns #seth rollins #cody rhodes

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allyreactions · 5 years

Text

BTS reacts to their idol girlfriend on tour and fainting on stage

pairing: bts x reader

warnings: idk if its right or not but just in case, know that it mentions skipping meals and not sleeping well, idk if its eating disorders or mental ilnesses but know that it mentions that, there’s no implied death tho one of them may seem to have but it’s not like that ok i explained too much

genre: angst

a/n: this may turn much darker than i thought omg im sorry

no gender neutral

~~~~~~~~

kim seokjin

He never liked the idea of you going on tour. He had been knowing about the shitty way your managers were treating you. He noticed how your members would always receive praises while you only received criticism, which made you work harder. This involved staying until late hours rehearsing, skipping meals and sleep time to work on your choreographies. He didn’t want you to leave to Europe, mostly because when you were at South Korea, he could always check on you and stay with you. But now you were far away. He spent every day nervous, alert of his phone in case you wanted or needed to talk to him. One day Namjoon told him he was overreacting, that you were fine, you had your members and that they would help you. This managed to calm him down, put his phone down and left it at home to enjoy the only free day they were given.

He came back home late at night, a small smile on his face, glad that he could spend a day with his donsaengs. When he grabbed his cellphone, his expression quite changed, “23 missed calls” could be read on the screen. He quickly calling the owner of the 23 missed calls, your best friend and unnie.

“Seokjin-ah, where have you been!? I tried reaching you all day!” she cried, voice almost audible

“What happened?” he asked, fear obvious in his voice

“It´s Y/N...she fainted on stage a-and...” she sobbed, while Seokjin’s held his breath “....she isn’t waking up”

His heart stopped.

min yoongi

It was a problem. Your weight had been dropping every month, making your boyfriend worried. And worst thing was, he couldn’t tell you anything. He had tried, more than he wanted to, but you just wouldn’t listen. This was your first year as an idol, your band debuted with success yet your managers weren’t happy with your body. That got to your head, and your diets were reduced to almost a plate per day. Yoongi was used to these starving diets, and knew that cheating them was the worst a female idol could do. So he focused on staying by your side, and help you sneak some snacks in while your managers weren’t present. But one day you announced him your band was going to South America as part of their tour. His concern grew, because he could follow you to Japan or China, but South America was too much. He just swallowed, nodded and prayed you would be ok.

He never stopped messaging you, every day checking in, seeing how you were doing. But suddenly, you stopped messaging. He glanced at the clock, 2pm. He remembered the 12 hours of difference, it had to be 2am for you. He was about to give up, and hope you were sleeping well, when a message entered his phone with a ‘pop’.

[2:08pm] Y/N: Suga are you there?

What? You never called him by his stage name, it cringed you. Why were you calling him Suga? He didn’t wait to reply.

[2:09pm] Yoongi: I’m here, what’s wrong?

He could feel it, something was wrong. His jaw dropped to the floor and an annoying knot appeared on his throat when he read the next message.

[2:11pm] Y/N: I’m Yoonho, me and the group are at the hospital, Y/N fainted, she’s way too pale and can barely move. You’re her emergency contact, right?

jung hoseok

“Babe, you’re barely awake” you laughed a bit, watching Hoseok on your Face Time trying to keep his eyes open.

“I’m here, I’m here jagi” he replied, trying to smile, but you were right. He could barely stay awake. He had spent all day checking on you, trying to see if you were fine.

You had been feeling quite bad these past days. You had been working on your first soloist album, and you had wasted long nights writing lyrics and composing melodies. It was driving you crazy, but you needed to get it done. You too were barely awake, but spending weeks staying up late at night made you control yourself, you knew how to pretend you were fine. Something your career as a Kpop idol also taught you.You managed to convince Hoseok to go to sleep, so you could get changed and go to the stage, it was another night of touring with your girlgroup.

Hoseok woke up from what he liked calling a long nap to his phone ringing. Without thinking about it, assuming it was you, he picked up.

“Y/N~ jagi, I’m sorry I fell asleep” he spoke in his tired husky voice

“It’s not Y/N, Hoseok, I’m her manager” that made Hobi jump up and suddenly fully wake up.

“Why are you calling me from Y/N’s cellphone?” he didn’t measure his tone, too concerned to care

“Y/N fainted on stage, we had to carry her to backstage” he gulped, feeling tears on his eyes “She’s resting now but I supposed you should know” he added before hanging up, leaving Hoseok more concerned than he already was.

kim namjoon

He hadn’t been able to talk to you in days, and it was driving him crazy. I mean, you were at USA touring, he knew your schedules by memory, why could you never even message him? But, he had to understand. Your managers weren’t as easy on you as his were on him. So he had to stick to social media. Updates of you on Twitter were the only way he had to check on you. He knew you had been quite stressed lately, thanks to your tour. You would always skip meals and sleep less just to get it perfect, you were too scared to be judged by foreigners, so you had to get it right.

He was working on his studio, the beat mixer opened right next to Twitter, with your update fan account. He refreshed every minute, watching some videos fan were taking during the concert. He started noticing you were missing some moves, and look quite tired.He assumed it was the video, because you never acted lazy on stage. He continued refreshing, but nothing happened. No new videos, neither pics or tweets. Everything was too silent. That was until he refreshed one more time, and a long tweet appeared. He read it out loud, his voice lowering as he was reaching to the tweet’s end.

@Y/Nunnie tweeted: “Y/N’s body suddenly dropped to the floor. The music stopped and so did the other members, who then gatherend around her. Soonah (your leader) picked her up, with some help from staff members. The lights went off, and when they returned, the stage was empty, only one staff member remained, who stood in front of the mic and said: “due to health issues, Y/N won’t be able to continue the show, please understand”. I hope she’s fineee :’((”

Joon stood there, trying to assimilate the situation, before going crazy...

park jimin

He was mad, and oh god you hated it when he was mad. When he was this mad, he wasn’t cute, no, he was scary.

“Y/N, you heard me, you aren’t going to that tour” he pointed at you, the ugliest frown formed on his face

“Jiminie, baby, even if I wanted to, you know I can’t say no! I signed a contract, I need to go!” you tried calming him down, but it was in vain.

“Look at you, Y/N, look at the bags under your eyes! They aren’t even letting you sleep! How do they expect you can perform? And abroad!”

“Well...” you started, not knowing how to answer, until you found the best way “...how did you do it when you just debuted?” you crossed your arms over your chest, and watched as Jimin relaxed a bit, knowing you were right “....could you talk back to your manager, refuse to perform? Baby..” you sighed and held his hands “...I’ll be fine, I promise you” you pecked his lips and left with a smile, not sure if you were gonna keep that promise.

And you didn’t, Jimin realized while was boarding a flight to Mexico, where you were currently touring. Not a long time ago, he received a message, written by your friend and sent through your phone.

“Jimin, Y/N just collapsed while performing her solo song, I know it’s much to ask but she really needs you. Could you come?”

kim taehyung

(ok i love this little ball of sunshine so much it breaks my heart he would be so sad if this happened)

He really wanted to go with you. He even insisted on asking your manager if he could join your tour. But no is no, and he had to stick to that, despite not agreeing. He not only was your number one fan and wanted to support his favorite person in the world, but he also wanted to have a close eye on you. You had been acting quite weird lately, arriving late at home, waking up too early, skipping some meals. He even caught you crying once, alone at the bathroom in the middle of the night. He was very worried, he knew your new comeback was bringing you a lot of stress, but what was worrying him the most was the fact that you weren’t talking to him about it. He understood that stress, but you still didn’t tell him anything. But he wasn’t a pushy boyfriend, he was going to wait for you to feel like talking about it.

In the mid time, and since he couldn’t join you on your tour, he decided to watch every live broadcast fans were doing during the concerts. He didn’t care about quality, as long as he could watch his girlfriend perform like the queen she is, he was happy.

He was locked inside his room, headphones on and Twitter opened, with the live broadcast of your show at Paris. He had a smile on his face, his favorite song was coming and he thought you always killed it in the dancing. He prepared himself for the performance of his life.

But his smile starting fading off when he saw you weren’t dancing, just walking around. He knew the performance by memory, and knew that during touring that choreography never changed. I mean, he has been watching every live broadcast, he knew the schedule by memory. He got near the computer, eager to find out what was wrong. The smile came back when he saw you joining your members on the choreo.

“Oh she was improvising” Tae said out loud, even giggling a bit.

When suddenly you stopped dancing and collapsed coldly to the floor. He held on to the chair’s arm, mouth wide open and eyes nailed on your motionless body. Your members gatherend around you and tried to wake you up. Fans started mumbling, while the music stopped all of a sudden. Since you weren’t waking up, a staff member came in running and picked your body up, carrying it to backstage as fast as he could. Your unnie followed behind, always having your back, and not intending to stop now.

Taehyung immediately grabbed his phone with shaky hands, trembling lips and tears fiercely falling down.

jeon jungkook

Oh boy he understood every concern you had. Being both the maknaes of each of your groups, you both understood the hard work you had to do to show you were as capable and professional as your unnies or hyungs. So instead of telling you off whenever you practised too much, he would stay by your side, to teach you to recognize your body’s limits.

However you were quite new to the idol life, while Jungkook had his years at it. And now your first tour was coming and your worry grew. How were you going to go on your own without your boyfriend? Jungkook reassured you you could do it, you were strong enough to do it. With a little bit more of confidence thanks to your most beloved best friend and boyfriend, you left.

Little did you know, he was making you a surprise visit. Since you were touring at Africa, he could take a quick flight and susprise you.

He was ready, bag on one hand, and plane ticket on the other.

“I’ll be fine, hyung!” he smiled as he spoke to Jin “...she doesn’t know I’m going, it will be awesome! If I need anything, I’ll call you”

As he was listening to Seokjin, his phone started buzzing with another phone call.

“Sorry hyung, I have another another call, give me a second” as he handed the air flight assistant, he changed calls “..Hello?”

“Jungkook-ah? It’s Jaesung, Y/N’s manager. She...she um, she collapsed, we are attending her right now. Her unnie Mina told us we should call you, we believe that’s what Y/N would want”

His hands felt numb as a tear rolled down his cheek and his bag fell from his hand.

~~~~~~

OMG OK MY BEST REACTION SO FAR I LOVE IT HOPE U LIKE IT!

creds to owner of gifs

~Admin Anto

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mishaandthebrits · 5 years

Text

Speeding Car

You hadn't realized that working in the small coffee shop in Vancouver would change your life the way it did. Originally you had planned to just get away from your abusive ex, but after a while you got to know some of the regulars. Apparently they worked together on set of a tv show and soon you were friends with most of them. You even had started to watch the show, after they basically begged you, but you had to admit you liked it. Today you closed the shop a little earlier due to having to start especially early the following day. Just as you stepped onto the street to cross it a car suddenly sped down towards you. Shocked you stood frozen in your track and would have been hit if someone hadn't pulled you back. "Y/N!? Are you okay?", you heard a voice that sounded familiar and shook your head lightly to regain control.

"Y-Yes...", you mumbled looking up at the face of Richard. "What... what an idiot! They almost hit you!", he angrily spoke and helped you up gently. "That was the Plan...", you mumbled making him frown before he asked why. "It... i saw the face of the driver.", you sighed. "It was Kevin, my ex... he was... let's say not nice.", you added and Richard pulled you into a hug. "Okay, you're gonna come home with me now and we're gonna call the cops okay? He might know where you live if he knows where you work.", the actor spoke and lead you to his car after receiving a nod from you. Once in his flat he grabbed you a blanket and basically pushed you onto the couch before getting his phone out writing a quick text. "Okay, security from set is gonna be here soon and we're gonna figure that out okay?", Richard spoke sitting down opposite of you. "W-What? No! You can't do that Rich. They don't even know me, why would they care?", you complained but he just smiled softly. "I care, so they will as well. I mean heck, I could have written the three amigos and they'd race here in a heartbeat.", he explained making you shake your head. "Rich... im literally only someone they order their coffee at, nothing more.", you sighed before he stopped you from saying anything else. "You're not just that... not for me... for us Y/N... What do you think is the reason I'm there so often? Because I like coffee? Well yes... but mainly because I like you but just can't find the courage to talk to you.", the actor opposite of you admitted and you were just about to reply when a knock on the door was audible. Rich smiled apologizing and got up to open it revealing not only Cliff and two of his coworkers but also Jensen and Jared who rushed into the flat and in front of you. "What happened? Are you okay?", Jared asked with worry in his voice and you nodded blushing. "I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to cause trouble.", you mumbled quietly but they both shook their heads. "No no no, it's not you okay? Cliff got the text and we worried so we had to make sure you're okay...", Jensen explained before sitting down beside you. Jared got up and opened the space for Richard who quickly sat beside you only to have the three security guys opposite of you. They honestly scared you, although they softly smiled at you, you were scared. "So, what happened?", the man left of Clif asked and just when you meant to start, Richard did. "I went up to the shop and just when I was almost there I saw Y/N lock the door and as she stepped onto the streets a car came out of nowhere and raced right towards her. I ran and luckily was able to pull her out of the way. She then told me she recognized the driver as her ex... the one she fled from.", Richard gave the others a short summery of what had happened while you only looked at the ground. Once it had settled in with the others a discussion started about how they could keep you safe and whether it was possible to arrest your ex. While the three actors talked to the security members you stayed quiet and slowly calmed down. You had to admit that you were quite shaken up, so the blanket had been a good idea. With every minute your eyes grew heavier and you soon leaned against Richard's shoulder. "Shhhh, sleep Y/N... it's okay.", you heard him whisper over the voices of the others which slowly faded away to only background noise. Before you were able to stop yourself you were asleep with the actors arm around your waist keeping you close.

When you opened your eyes in the morning you looked around confused. It was an unknown room and an unknown bed. Jumping up you frantically looked around just when you heard a knock on the closed door. "Morning Y/N! I've given you the bed and I slept on the couch after you fell asleep yesterday. The door to the left is the bathroom, feel free to use anything in there, although it's all male stuff so... anyways, I'm making breakfast so join me whenever you're ready? I'm gonna make us some coffee, it's not even close to yours, but that's the reason you're the barista and I'm the actor.", you heard Richard speak and smiled softly to yourself. He was such a sweetheart. You quickly used the spare and still wrapped toothbrush that laid on top of the counter in the bathroom, then put your hair up into a messy bun before walking out of the bedroom and following the sounds you could only guess were Richard humming a song. "Good Morning... you know, I would have slept on the couch... I already caused trouble, I feel so bad for stealing your bed...", you greeted him but he just shook his head smiling. "No no, you're the guest!", he replied handing you a mug with coffee just the way you always drank it. "Richard... what you said yesterday...", you started and he looked up smiling gently signalizing you to continue. "I... I like you too... I look forward to every single on of your visits...", you quietly admitted and his little smile spread into a wide grin. "In that case... would you like to go for dinner with me some time? I mean we've had coffee together so often already, so I think a proper date would be just right.", he suggested and you nodded before taking a sip of the, not even that bad, coffee.

General Tag List: @lokilvrr

Want to be added to the tag list? Just comment or message <3

#Gabriel #Richard Speight Jr #Richard #speight #jr #cute #adorable #supportive #x reader #reader #spn #supernatural

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bigsquinky · 5 years

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quick sketches from a shapiro and mulligan alien au ::3c i wrote something too for this scene. I dont write stuff very often so its rough but i will put it under the cut here

the storage corridor was dimly lit, sparks from exposed wires lighting the way down the destroyed passage. the alamanium steel doors were crushed, thrust open unnaturally with an inhuman force that rendered them useless. all the way down to the end, large dents and ruptures could be seen along the walls, identical to the ones leading back down the main hall.

Shapiro was not happy. Not happy at all

she had been away for just a moment, something to do with confirmation for a shipment or going over some trivial documents, nothing out of the ordinary of what usually happened during the day. a lot was expected of her, but there was no way she could supervise training cadets, overseeing daily maintenance, and everything else in their quadrant of the ship. she was only gone for the smallest moment, but thats all that was needed for everything to go wrong. a large crash echoed from the training bay, followed by the audible screaming of a few cadets, as well as, oddly enough, the odd roars of cheering.

whatever ruckus had occurred while she was gone left the bay in shambles, large craters on the ceiling and the walls, lights and equipment broken, everything would have to be replaced, everything brought back to code. it was going to be a bureaucratic nightmare. oh, and that one cadet would have to be taken to the emergency wing. but he was the least of Shapiros worries at the moment, he would be fine anyways, Grutians were known to be virtually indestructible, if anything, only his pride was wounded.

No, Shapiro's worries were down that busted up supply hall, and as the appointed quadrant manager, she needed to bring everything back to efficiency quickly, before more reports would be required. A large group of cadets and employees gathered behind her in the hall, all murmuring in fright and surprise at what was happening. Shapiro clicked at her belt and put a regulatory protection field between her and the crowd, preventing them from moving any closer into the supply hall. the frantic chattering of a cockroach in a labcoat was heard coming closer to the scene of the mess, as O'Reilly banged on the field, his muffled pleas to Shapiro to wait for an armoured squad fell on deaf ears. It was her responsibility, and this mess was going to be fixed, even if she had to make another one.

She made her way down that hall, mentally preparing herself for the struggle that could happen. From day one, that cadet only got in trouble, and caused her trouble. She thought that keeping him on probation would solve at least some of her problems. its not like he was doing any of this on purpose, but this Cadet Mulligan seemed to attract trouble wherever he went. It was everyone else that seemed to have problems with him, stemming from eons old beliefs in superstitions that beings like him were considered cursed, or biological mistakes. she at least knew how it felt to be looked down upon, being Atharian meant that from birth she had to work harder than most to even get to where she was now, but she still had more of a privilege than the cadet did, even if he was half Arachnian. But because Shapiro worked so hard and gave up so much to get where she was, it jsut meant it could be torn away from her so much easier, her higher ups were just waiting for her to fail, giving her all of this work knowing full well not even the most able of commanders could not complete what she managed to in a day, and she knew it. Despite all her successes, all she needed was one slip up, and it could come crumbling down beneath her. She could not afford to show weakness in a time like this, not again. not ever. she reached the end of the hall, and pushed the big storage room door open

to say it was a mess was an understatement. Shapiro could barely creak the door open enough to squeeze through with the large shelf of various supplies toppled over in disarray. the only light in the room from the working emergency lights lit the clutter in a dim, cold blue light. She quietly navigated the maze of toppled over supplies and stock, taking expert caution to make her presence in the room unknown. if one did not know about the events leading up to this mess, one would assume the ship had made course through an asteroid belt. Shapiro's pointed ears perked up as she finally heard the source of her troubles. Mulligan was there

Shrouded in the darkness, he was hard to make out. Shapiro squinted, as hard as the emergency lights tried to do their job, they were beyond overdue for repair after the beating they took today. What she could make out of his figure however, broke Shapiro into a cold sweat. Finally, she clued into the seriousness of the situation she put herself into, wishing in the back of her mind that she did listen to O'Reilly, although she would never admit he was right if she ever got out of here

Even though he was sitting, he towered over her, his head short of hitting the ceiling. the once recognizable Atharian frame that he had donned was gone, instead a colossal figure grunted and snarled, writhing in confusion as his he tried in vain to reconstruct himself. he panted heavily, clutching his head with two large arms, while four other appendages scratched at his body and braced himself to the steel storage case. Mulligan twisted and contorted but to no avail, a large fist slammed into the wall behind him, leaving a large dent. Shapiro silently stared petrified, her breath ragged. She attempted to shuffle herself backwards and out of there without being noticed, a hand moving slowly to her belt for a plasma taser, in case she needed to defend herself, but instead she misstepped, her foot knocking a small provisions can into a panel, causing the latter to reverberate, and her presence to be known

Mulligan stopped and jerked his head unnaturally towards the sound, breathing heavily, his face partially blocked by his arm. Shapiro froze, and their eyes locked. Mulligan's expression changed from a look of fury, to distress, as he let out a booming cry. he shifted back into the dark as far as he could go, his back against the wall. His breathing was rapid, with a look of horror on his face, it was like he was a scared animal backed into a corner. Crying out in a foreign tongue, what sounded like a plethora of backwards wailing to Shapiro, Mulligan's arms frantically moved into a defensive position, and attempted to cover his face. He continued to wail as Shapiro got off the floor and steadied herself, cautiously moving closer towards the creature. Mulligan tried in vain to move further back and away, but he could not move anymore, his large form made it impossible to break out of this corner. His breathing quickened, and his speech became broken and more unintelligible as he choked back tears. He violently flinched as Shapiro brought up her hand to her scouter, combing through old catalogues of alliance data to find translation as to what the cadet was saying. The scouter laboured for what seemed to be an eternity before it made a cheerful beep as it finally calculated a basic translation of the cacophony. Mulligan continued to cry out in panic as Shapiro finally read what he had been saying this whole time

" GO AWAY! AWAY FROM ME! MONSTER! AM MONSTER!"

the script had scrolled across the screen multiple times as Shapiro stood there in silence. Mulligan closed his eyes as he continued to shake and repeat the devastating message. His fingers dug deep into his face as all the sounds around him started turning into static, letting out one last painful cry before he quickly stifled himself in a swift jolt. His eyes shot open, his breathing ragged, as he looked down and saw a small purple hand lightly touching at his knee

Shapiro sat up tall, facing away from Mulligan with her hand on him, her three fingers slightly stroking and patting his thigh. He brought a quivering hand down, dwarfing her hand as he gently brought it into his. Shapiro continued to look straight forward, as Mulligan's breathing slowed and became controlled, his shoulders relaxed, and he slowly leaned forward away from the wall, and the two sat in silence

She waited a while, before she finally spoke. "Mulligan, what happened?" He sat there. Shapiro repeated herself in the same unwavering but quiet tone. "Mulligan, what happened?" Mulligan swallowed, his entire body still shivering. "It-It-It happened so fast, I couldn-couldn't stop- I just-" "Mulligan, what happened in the training bay while I was gone?" Shapiro didnt want to escalate things, but she had to get Mulligan to talk before a security squad busted through that temporary field. Mulligan stammered. "It-it-it was Giraldi. He came up to me, saying it was my fault he was taken off the scouting mission. He-he slammed me against the wall, I didnt do nothin', I just took it until-" He paused "-'til he brought up YOU." "Me?" Shapiro finally turned slowly to look up at mulligan, the faint blue glow partly illuminating his face. His expression darkened, his fangs were bared and a low growl escaped his lips. "He said shit that was deplorable, about Atharians, about you, that it was beneath him as a Grutian to take orders from a bug. Disgusting shit about what he could do and no one would stop him, and he called you, he called you a-" Mulligan's grip on Shapiro's hand tightened. She let out a small yelp as Mulligan gasped and pulled his hand away "IM SORRY!! Im sorry-im so sorry i-". Shapiro grabbed his hand with both of hers this time. She looked at him intently, her spots glowing faintly revealed the makings of a pained expression, the first time she had bared any resemblance of feelings to anyone since that time. She took his hand and rested her forehead on it, as Mulligan's breathing calmed down. Mulligan exhaled. "Af-After that, I lost it. i lost control, i could only see red as i flung him around that room. When i remembered what was happening and where i was, I freaked out and ran off here. I got, so scared that what happened last time was gonna happen again, i had to calm down fast, but i couldnt! i was still so upset about everything, and then-" He stopped. He turned his head to look at Shapiro, his purple, polycoria eyes the only thing visible in the shadows. "Im so sorry, Lieutenant Commander"

Shapiro closed her eyes, and exhaled, still keeping her grip on Mulligan's hand. "Whats done is done, Cadet. We cant change that. I dont know what will be decided by the Commander, or if a higher council will be brought in but-" She smiled slightly "- i thank you for standing up for me, Mulligan" She felt Mulligan's hand shrink in her own, and felt the growth of another finger, until it finally slowed, and he locked his fingers with hers. She looked up at him, his form back to that of a fake Atharian, and a tired smile on his face. His two eyes, once four, while displaying no signs of his metamorph mutation, are slightly red. "Thank you Shapiro." She smiled back. "Dont thank me just yet, someone will have to clean up this entire mess!" Mulligan chuckled, and the both of them walked out of the storage hall, still holding each others hands.

#my art #sketches #shapiro and mulligan #alien au #my writing #lmao its a lot but i got into it :3c

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savory-n-sweet · 6 years

Text

Why?

YEET this is the race angst i was talking about the other day

also special lil thanks to @timesarehardfornewsies and @newsboystrike for hyping my ass up

Pairing: Racetrack Higgins x Reader

Warnings: divorce, arguing, swearing

Word Count: 1.3K

Modern Era

Edited | Not Edited | Skimmed

Lowercase intended (i wrote all of this on my phone and im too lazy to fix it)

enjoy !!!

you had always been afraid of dating. the thought of letting someone into your life, letting someone know everything about yourself, scared the absolute shit out of you. every since your parents separated, at least. they were supposed to be in love, but your mother cheated on him. they had a child together, and she was still unfaithful to him. she cheated because he didn’t satisfy her in bed.

but here you were, in the apartment you shared with the boy you loved. he was working late like he has been, every night, for weeks. he hasn’t been coming home until around one in the morning. you were worried until he came home smelling of another woman one night. you refused to believe it, so you stayed.

you were on your couch, reading a book. it wasn’t unusual for you to stay up late, but it wasn’t your favorite thing. you were tired, barely able to keep your eyes open. you needed to speak to race more than you needed sleep, though. you just wanted to talk to him, to set things straight.

he came into the apartment. he was sober as can be. he was very smiley. his blazer was thrown over his shoulder and his white dress shirt was untucked. his curly hair was messier than usual.

“where were you?” you asked, returning your focus from him to your book. your glasses were slowly slipping off your nose but you really didn’t care.

“working late,” he replied, his smile falling as he locked the metal door.

“until,” you glanced at the cable box across the room. “one o’clock in the morning?”

“yeah, new clients,” he threw his blazer on the kitchen chair next to him. then he undid the already loose tie, tugging it over his head and throwing it on top of the jacket.

“really?” you looked up at him, meeting his gaze. you took your glasses off and closed your book. “they’re really calling at one in the fucking morning? where were you?” you raised your voice a little bit.

“can we talk about this in the morning? god,” he muttered, unbuttoning his white shirt.

“no, anthony! you’ve been coming home late for weeks! what’re you doing out there?” you slammed the paperback book on the coffee table, making the lamp shake.

“would you relax? you're so controlling!” he shot back at you. you raised your eyebrows at him in disbelief.

“controlling? i just want to know where you are, if you’re okay!” you got off the couch and crossed the room to stand in front of him. “i’m sorry, hi i’m (y/n) and i worry about everyone, especially my boyfriend. nice to fucking meet you,” you grabbed his hand and shook firmly shook it. he retracted it, sighing. “where were you?”

“at the bar!” he shouted at you. you were taken aback, but that’s when you noticed a dark spot on his neck. you didn’t need to move his shirt collar to see it. it was there, clear as day on his pale skin. a million thoughts ran through your head, most being questions you didn’t want answers to.

“how many girls?” was the one you brought yourself to ask.

“just one,” he mumbled, barely audible.

instead of speaking, you went the kitchen sink. you took a plastic cup from the cupboard and ran it under the sink. you brought the plastic to your lips slowly, almost too nauseated to even drink water.

“who was she?” you softly spoke, placing the cup on the counter beside you. race walked over to you, blocking your view of the window across the room you were focusing on.

“does it matter? it’s over and it won’t happen again,” he took your hands in his. you avoided eye contact, knowing that if you looked at him, you’d break down.

“yes it does! who was she?” you looked at his shoes, then his pants, then finally his blue eyes. you tried your hardest to suppress any emotion that bubbled up.

“i can’t tell you,” his voice was small and gentile. you took your hands from his, grabbing the cup. you only made it to the table before slamming it down.

“why not?” you finally yelled at him. he flinched, surprised at your outburst. “because you’re too scared to hurt me? i’m already fucking hurt, anthony! i feel like i’m going to fucking vomit! who the hell was she!” your tears burned your cheeks. your whole body and voice were shaking with every uneven breath you took.

“no, i don’t want you to hurt her,” he leaned against the counter. you furrowed your eyebrows, racking your brain for who she could’ve been. everyone knew you were dating race. no one wanted to hurt you like this, at least to your knowledge. then it hit you.

“you cheated on me with casey?” you shouted at him. your neighbors were most likely awake and listening to the fight.

casey was your best friend up until recently. you had trusted her with your life. she was with you when your dad finally decided to leave. she knew everything about you. one day, she just changed into a different person. she stopped talking to you for no reason, then blocked your number and on social media platforms. she still followed your friends, which is how you assumed she knew race and you were together.

“she came onto me! i know it doesn’t excuse what i did, but it didn’t mean a thing to me, i swear,” he looked at you with sad eyes.

“anthony, you made a conscious decision to have sex with someone else. you fucking knew i wouldn’t have been able to handle that, but yet you did it anyway!” you laughed through the tears. your voice was forced and hoarse.

you moved from the kitchen to the window. you rested your hands on the cold windowsill, taking deep breaths. race exhaled loudly in the kitchen. he was pacing, probably running his fingers through his hair then dragging them down his face.

“why?” you spoke softly while looking at your hands.

“i don’t know,” he replied just as soft. that made you only made you angrier.

“you’re telling that you put yourself inside of another woman, just because?” you finally turned to look at him. you could feel your face and ears heating up. when race didn’t respond, your heart broke even more.

you walked to your shared bedroom, pulling a suitcase from your closet. you tossed it on the bed before roughly opening your dresser drawer.

“what’re you doing?” his voice was soft, almost a whisper. you could feel him watching you from the doorway.

“i’m leaving,” you said.

you managed to get a few articles of clothing into the suitcase before he came up behind you and put a hand on your shoulder. the contact made you instantly start crying. the whole time, you thought you were dreaming or something. the contact brought you back to reality.

“please don’t,” his voice was even softer than before.

“i have to. i will not let you cheat on me repeatedly. i will not look like a fucking idiot because i was too fucking blind to see it,” you spat. you closed the case, locking it. you put it on the floor before walking out of the bedroom.

“i’m nothing without you.”

those words made you stop dead in your tracks. “don’t say that to me. you don’t get to say that. go be with casey because i’m obviously not good enough for you! if i was good enough, you wouldn’t have cheated in the first place!”

“we were drunk, (y/n)!” he shouted. “we had a little too much to drink and then she threw herself at me!”

“really? were you drunk tonight? you don’t look it, or smell it,” you laughed again. “tony, you cheated on me. i don’t care if it was just one time, you still did it. i can’t let that slide, i’m sorry.”

“please,” he choked out as you unlocked the door.

“no, i’m sorry,” you opened the door.

“i thought you loved me.”

“i do, you just don’t love me.”

[ tags: @brooklyns-here-for-ya-erster @albertdasillva @who-is-the-king-of-new-york @newsies-trashboat @spot--conlon @notes-the-newsie @musical-trash-meg @racetrackscigar @rebecko @falloutboyzintheattic @auspiciousdaveyjacobs @we-dont-sell-papes @brooklyn-anon @viennaleia @raining-anon @fandomscraziness22 @broadwayandbookblog @i-got-personality @king-of-newyork @thembrooklynboysisbig @heytheywascoronas @thatshiscigar @elmers-half-a-cup

and my personal hype beast: @albertslamb ]

#racetrack higgins #race x reader #racetrack higgins x reader #newsies #newsies live #enjoy oof #i actually really love race #idk why i keep making him hurt #or hurt others #i have another cheating angst w him in my drafts OOF #i should be nice to him

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