#it took where the world would normally end and theres. theres more and idk what to expect its awesome!!!

[101daysofwizardvacation]

yo...... mirage's plot kinda goes hard

#mirage spoilers follow if anyone wants to avoid #istar's kind-of betrayal!!!??? the ali baboon thieves den stuff?? #i thought it would end with the scorpion fight ngl #it took where the world would normally end and theres. theres more and idk what to expect its awesome!!! #wizard101

[spiked-mall-goth]

can we hear your barbie thoughts?

okay heres just the copy paste from my letterboxd. (whew wee is it LONG)

i was so excited. that one is on me.

movie so so confusing. i thought i was in for like an absurdist comedy, but it was like forced feminist political commentary?? do NOT get me wrong on this one okay, i have seen so many people get torn to SHREDS for saying that they didn't like this movie bc they hate #girlpower. i am not one of those people. but idk abt u guys but i feel like its not that hard a concept to have a good female empowerment movie without just telling us straight in our faces that its female empowerment ALL. THE. TIME.. felt like i was being spoon fed with a forklift. theres this really cool special tactic called… subtlety.. wow its a crazy thing. they spent so much time shoving a message down my throat they.. forgot what it was.??? like they lost track of what they wanted to say like a million times over it was annoying. they said so much to mean so little. messaging so muddled the barbies literally interfered with a fucking government election and got away with it. they didn't want the kens to have any power so they took them away from the pink house and voted without them to put themselves back as the only leaders. the fuck barbie. i feel like the solution in barbieland was not to just fucking reinstall the matriarchy but instead work together as one to create an idyllic society where the barbies and the kens can live side by side without one towering over the other. the kens were not being horridly mistreated b4, but i understand wanting to be treated better. and i could have some mild sympathy for them, but as soon as they took over barbieland they just treated women like shit making them doing everything for them. and yes that is no good, but its interesting to me that the barbies did not take this as a lesson at all?? like they did not look back and really go, 'huh,, maybe you should ALSO have rights bc being seen and treated as inferior is not okay.' no they took it as an opportunity to shove more fucking glitter coated instagram infographic #positivity down my throat. i understand that this was kinda the point, to be like look! this is what its like and the 'just be yourself' solution means nothing in the end! just like the real world! but why would i want that? why would i want a backwards version of a fucking corrupt system that doesn't work? it doesn't work this way; flipping it, well guess what it still doesn't work. this is fucking barbieland, i WANT them to all be happy and equal in the end! i don't want to think about how awful everything is! its a fantasy world, why would you want to model it after the horrible deep sucking never ending vacuum into the black hole that is the real world? its my barbies and kens (and allen) and damnit i think that they should be happy. also side note, how tf did the kens brainwash the barbies??? like the fuck was that? to me that implies that the barbies also had the kens brain washed to be only accessories. like whoevers in power just has control over the other group? this movie makes everyone like a fucking monster.

can u believe i have more to say? turn back now bc i will never stop typing.

ummm kinda hated that random ass woman and her child? and i hate even more that i can refer to them as that. they were horridly bland fucking ONE dimensional characters. no personality, no real development, nothing. just a forced under-devloped mother daughter sub-plot that if my mother had seen would've cried and made me feel like it was my fault for growing up. (normal mom behavior or just me….??)

mattel, you fucking sleazy greased up wet RAT. you canOT,,, okay listen to me… CAN. NOT. make a movie like 'corporations bad! they dont hire women! rampant consumerism bad!!'. baby girl look in the mirror, its not funny, its not being 'self-aware', it makes me feel,, bad. like you can get away with anything bc you actually can. making literal cartoon goons of yourself as some sort of distraction from all of the very real major issues that are happening in the real world corporate mattel company is rancid. you can to be as 'self-aware' as you want but the bottom line is that you just flat out dont care. you won't change anything. trying to be funny about it makes me feel sick. you can't make capitalist consumerism the movie and try to be like 'yeah thats so bad right guys? you guys also hate corporations?! great!'. you cant have your cake and eat it too.

i liked allen. allen sweetheart baby girl darling dear honeybun beloved i'm so sorry the filmmakers hate you. dude literally had like 6 lines. justice for allen.

out of all the 'shameful' barbies i was actually most excited to see the inclusion of video cam barbie!!! i wanted that bitch soooo bad.

laughed a handful of times, as fucking painful as the depression barbie ad was i laughed really loud at the bbc pride and prejudice joke. i thought the godfather joke was also very funny. some of the doll jokes were funny, but its like okay guys this was low hanging fruit to begin with lets not repeat them like ten times over. the n-sync allen joke also got me. i know i laughed a bit in the theater… but as of right now i'm drawing a blank on standout jokes. that says smth huh?

i like the big ken dance number when they went to like abstract reality zone. that was good. now just remake this movie but like that. it needed to be more loose and fun, alter reality for a dance number! do that!! i want some goddamn old hollywood type of just nonsense sequences. the song was not good tho tbh.

costumes and set were… objectively very good! do NOT get me wrong. the team behind it is very talented and they did an awesome job! however. they went for more of a 'generic barbie' look for the barbies costumes and for barbieland. which to me ended up looking more haunting..? idk WHY but the lack of actual dolls just chilling around made the few real dolls stand out like sore thumbs. that and also it felt like edward scissorhands type of suburbia. complete pastel hellscape. the thought of living in a 'perfect' pink pastel world where everything is the same everyday forever and if ur slightly different you literally get banished forever is horrifying. wheres all the girl power huh?? what happened to women helping women??? nope, you look kind odd?? sorry we hate you forever.

the ending was also just a hot hot garbage fire. whhyyyy did barbie decide she no longer wanted to be a barbie……? i feel like i missed that part since we were so focused on ken. oh so its bc she saw just a fuckinh home video slideshow?? yeah okay whatever just roll credits so i can leave now pls. a gynecology joke. really?

feminist movies do need to be made. but why with barbie? she has never been a feminist icon. this isn't her domain. she's just barbie. and trying to attach real life feminist issues to a fucking plastic doll to be bought and sold, to be commodified doesn't sit right with me. shes not meant to be this complex guys, and i feel like they just completely fumbled on that. to me barbie is just there. you play dress up with her, take her on fun adventures, play with your friends, you don't pick up a barbie doll and go 'wow i would just love to have this woman be groped and then come to terms with the real world and its many problems'. thats stupid. i was in for a fun little roadtrip adventure movie with barbie and her friends. and this was just too much.

this movie was not fun and whimsical to me. it was drab, it was horrifying, it was depressing. i wanted to have a brief escape from reality, but instead i was faced with the same atrocities of everyday life but hot pink and glitter coated. which only added to the awful feeling of 'it will be this way forever.' it wasn't a silly movie about being a woman and what that means, it was a faux women power movie made by massive corporations trying to tell us that they are hip and relatable and that you should buy so much merchandise. it was just one big reminder that capitalism will live forever and it will only get worse because everyone just eats it up if its brightly colored.

#spikes inbox #i am a very opinionated person if you cant tell.

[holdhoiyghost]

finished writing @ 6:33 am 12/22/23

fixed typos @ 6:42 am

dream begins on a sort of tv show, where this guy was helping out a less fortunate family get more civilized and used to 'normal life' since they liked like super separate from the outside world. i remember him trying to keep some gated animals in their gates but they kept getting out. or trying to do everything around the house w no help. and then him trying to leave but the mom comes out n shes like super pregnant. he was strugglin so so hard, and so for some reason mark n i took over.

so there i was with markiplier, for some reason going to help with this thing for views ig since it was broadcasted for tv. we were loading stuff in the house at first and it was sorta weird? like there were boxes i could move (blue cube thingys) and i could sorta platformer on them but there were also just. stairs.

so we meet the family. all are pretty normal. ish. i guess. for a family that doesnt rly no normal things yknow? and so we get to work teaching them for tv.

and shit gets like weird here right? idk how long we were there for or anything but i remember that we got the kids some fancier clothes n they looked so cool. there was a red dress w a bow n that was nice. idk what the son wore but the daughters had the same thing.

then for some reason between me n mark doin stuff to help theres a scene of mf peter griffin chillin out with a separate kid on the couch watchin him play games? and the kid is sad and peter asks whats up and the kid says that he'd rather also talk about it with his mom around so he goes to get her. i remember sort of a voice in peters head talking cause pg was sort of upset by this and it was like "yeah this is a good time to cry" and so the kid n mom got back and ended up comforting pg and they gave each other a Look over his back? i think it was either same family different time or just . there. idk.

nyways back to me n mark. there we were helpin the family when wow! matpat shows up! he drove there to help mark n i and so we show him some cool stuff and he doesnt like any of it. not even the cool water table that you can drink river water from. (table had water runnin down the middle of it from idk where to idk where, and was rly grainy with sand). he didnt like it cuz microbes or smth.

mark left me n him alone togo talk to the family abt somethin so matpat n i were jut Chillin ™ . i remember that . the water on the table turned red n i had said smth about 'that time of the month' to mat, tho idk why the table would have been? connected to bathrooms for that? though i guess with that happening it kinda set off some this is Bad alarms for us since it happened twice. and so we kinda started making our way to the door to gtfo

and when we saw mark sort of across the room? or when we were already out the door? holding his stomach and very much bleeding we kind of . booked it to the van n left him there since freaky family was m behind him and lookin like they absolutely did smth to him (and were gonna to us). i hop in the passenger seat n close the door behind the passenger from the inside since i think i opened it in my rush to get in? mat jumps in the drivers n we were gonna try to get mark in but . the mom was like Right Behind him and the kids were tryin to get in so we like left left him. i feel bad about it after wakin up n i felt bad inside the dream/nightmare too.

nyway mat n i leave. the window acts a little weird n one if the kids ;def more of a monster by this point) almost gets in the car but i stop them n roll up the window again (a little difficult but yeah). i tell mat to ignore the stop sign at the turn (no need for a stopsign there anyway...it was 1 road no intersection). he does n we go down the mountain n end up platformin the van across a pond o water??? somehow??

we get to the other side and there is. a whole bunch of platforming to be done. and its in like sort of a semicircle but not Realy a semicircle ykwim? like it kinda curved but not . n there's a body sitting up in the middle of it in a weird suit of armor? (thats what it looked like but. i dont think it was?? unsure)

(btw when we were leaving the family they said it didnt matter if we got away cause they understood human customs now? so theyd see us again soon)

on the news which we were listening to for some reason they were talking about how mat n i ditched the project and that mark finished it out on his own, but also how mark's style was like... weird now. he wasn't himself anymore. abt him wearing a weird outfit or a new vid showing multiple people all in the same outfit.

the weird outfit described was somehow the one in the semicircleish platformin space and mat n i knew we were fucked fucked tbh. so we managed to platform the van to the top somehow to try and leave, but of the 2 exits we tried there were shadowy shapes with glowin white eyes on the other side, so we just. went to the middle platform by activating jets? or flying? on the van and just. sitting there.

i didnt wake up @ this point (something something ian hecox revisiting old videos? fnaf gameplay i think? but like knockoff fnaf. starting screen had bright blue? or yellow? unsure). when i did wake up i was kinda. urgh. didnt rly know what ti do other than write it all down. definitely one of my clearer dreams ive had recently (tho the scary ones usually are tbh). i cant rly express just how fucked up the whole situation was, n i wonder how long that family had just been. there. waiting for someone to stay long enough to teach them. so that they could go out to hunt while blending in.

sorry markiplier for leaving you for dead. it wasnt on purpose. i was scared af in the dream n matpat wasnt slowing down for you either. also tbh you were basically already dead anyway, like thee was No way we were gettin u to a hospital on time. still sorry tho.

#posted on wattpad too but felt that this deserved its own place here cause its?? a little fucked? #relatively Normal compared to some of my dreams but. urgh. #markiplier #matpat #yes i did/am putting tw for these cause um. they are there. and need to be here for those that need it. #also cause i wish my dreams came with TWs so i could wake myself up before it plays out :/ #tw horror #tw nightmare #tw blood mention #tw gore mention #tw major character death #<- happens off screen but its like. very much mentioned. #tldr; mark n i help a family get used to normal life. matpat shows up n he n i end uo leaving mark for dead in order to try n save our asses #spoiler: didnt work. woke up before we would have inevitably died #dream journal

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiaoven #genshin barbatos #opinions #discourse #? idk ill tag it just in case #dont mind my constant backtracking and justifying and repeated disclaimers- #i just have a crippling fear of being cancelled lol

[good-enemy]

im. a bit confused about the loona pairs in these teasers are these the mirrors we’ve been theorising about the whole time?

- choerry and hyunjin i get. obv. they led with choerry and hyunjin right? probably bc everyone already knows the connection bc theyve been highlighting it the entire time lol. hyunjins link to oec (primary colours), choerry acting as her replacement in oec? kind of? like a version of hyunjin that jinsoul and kim lip created? maybe? and then choerry took hyunjins place in that version of love and live and so what showed them as twins and maybe theyre supposed to be the same person. or maybe theyre just besties who knows anyway

- i think olivia and heejin were next and theyre obvious too the first and last girl and then they meet on the roof in egoist and its like the loonaverse/mobius strip has come full circle or whatever but also im pretty sure theyre both the closest things to deities the loonaverse has like heejin was the first girl the founder, i think she invented colour? thats heavily implied in vivid anyway and then olivia maybe invented darkness?? or something idk im pretty sure shes got something funky going on bc nobody else has random laser eyes (also when are THEY making a comeback) and if yves and/or jinsoul truly are the loonaverse’s villains well then theyre both working against olivia right so that would make her..the loonaverse’s saviour??? mirroring its founder?

- chuu and haseul are both the December Girls TM and both the powerhouse vocals or whatever so theres an immediate but basic connection but i also think that bit at the end of heart attack was haseul maybe trying to save chuu from yves’ charm but she was too late, bc werent chuu and gowon the ones to tempt hyunjin away from her oec duties or whatever with the bracelet (im going to circle back to oec they are objectively the coolest part of the loonaverse) meaning that chuu and gowon dont actually have access to 1/3 world/plane/whatever you want to call it or i think they would have been a bit more direct about it bc that was obviously yves’ idea, chuu and gowon are not portrayed as cunning enough to come up with something like that imo, and anyway obviously haseul is in 1/3 world so i wonder if the connection between chuu and 1/3 world was about to be lost and that was haseul trying to hold on and pull her back? also i think most orbits think that all the girls started off in eden and branched out but i think they actually started off in 1/3 world, like the normal world where heejin/god wants everyone to be, and got lost for various reasons but im less sure about that. 

- yves and jinsoul both radiate pretty sinister energy i mean jinsoul is always randomly showing up and giving off a weird vibe (a. why was she following vivi around hong kong b. kidnapping choerry with the cherry cake?? c. egoist. what d. why not when shes just lurking on the corner in the phone booth. also sweet crazy love implies that she got her odd eye first since kim lip and choerry are walking around with their eyes starting to hurt but jinsoul has already been to the optometrist, and then she can teleport so she can show up basically anywhere and just do what shes gotta do to be evil or whatever) and then yves is pretty explicitly and literally a snake in the grass, breaking out of eden which im pretty sure is supposed to be purgatory, which would mean that waiting it out and getting the approval of the teacher at the end as olivia did is what youre supposed to do but yves was rebellious/impatient and just took the sneaky back way out except then she ended up getting lost in the forest with chuu and gowon (which begs the question of what exactly happened to yeojin because they were very vague about that) (and also what the forest is supposed to represent? hell? in that case where are odd eye circle? because if heejin is god that would imply 1/3 world is heaven? are odd eye circle in the land of the living? did...bbc kill off loona) anyway that was rambly but chuu and gowon are clearly living their best lives in 1/3 world/heaven/whatever because of a. the haseul thing and b. gowon is clearly going through some kind of transitional state where the shadow/blonde gowon are gowon from another plane (or the future? because if its ‘gowon from another plane’ that implies two gowons) and i dont think shes coming from oec world or shed have an odd eye so she must be coming from 1/3 world but i dont think theres actually any proof of that other than the process of elimination...unless chuu and gowon knowing where to send the bracelet to hyunjin required them having some memory of where 1/3 world was thus implying they both came from there? anyway so they were probably in heaven/angels? they do wear white in hi high, but then in love4eva and butterfly promo pics they wear black maybe suggesting theyre fallen angels? and the reason theyve fallen is yves tempting them, i think yves is absolutely the devil of the situation if heejin is god, im not sure what that makes jinsoul but shes definitely sus

- this is where im getting confused though because i dont really understand what the immediate gowon-vivi and yeojin-kim lip links are? with gowon and vivi i think theyve both been manipulated by yves and realised their mistake when its been too late (vivi becoming a robot, maybe through some kind of bargain yves made with olivia to sacrifice vivi to save herself or something? bc yves and vivi would have been the original troublecausers together so maybe yves spun some kind of sob story to olivia so that olivia would kill vivi and spare yves and then heejin intervened and turned her into a robot temporarily.. man idk and then gowon seems to regret her choice the second she leaves eden (looking back at olivia/hesitating to eat the rose) but she has to just shut up and go along with it i guess) but by that logic you could probably link vivi gowon chuu and maybe olivia and choerry and maybe even jinsoul all together bc hasnt yves screwed basically everyone over? so im not totally sure how they mirror each other exactly, and then im totally lost on yeojin and kim lip. theyre both warm colours? unless their thing is that theyve both been separated from their group within the loonaverse? bc yeojins group was her haseul and choerry, and then choerry was taken to oec world and i guess replaced with hyunjin(/heejin to an extent but it seems like shes everywhere all the time) and kim lips group was her jinsoul and hyunjin, then hyunjin was taken to 1/3 world and replaced with choerry, so theres that link but that doesnt necessarily link yeojin and kim lip specifically bc haseul and jinsoul are also involved but then if it turns out jinsoul is evil and teleporting all over the place with her evil schemes, and i dont get that same vibe from kim lip so maybe its..betrayal? bc with yeojin, i think haseul may have been being chased by her bird self or something, or held hostage maybe? im hoping the bird haseul will come into the lore explanation for why shes been gone (bc im pretty sure theyll work the hiatus into the lore somehow, it would be weird if they didnt imo) anyway so if haseul left yeojin bc of the bird thing and yeojin didnt know about the bird then maybe she would feel betrayed by that...also i thought of this as i was typing but i think kim lip and yeojin have both been lost in the forest due to the actions of their supposed best friends (in the lore) because i think haseul getting kidnapped by the bird or whatever left yeojin on her own and left her susceptible to however one would get lured into the forest...actually if the forest is indeed hell then i just came up with a bit of an uncomfortable and upsetting explanation for that, maybe if being all alone and/or being chased by the frog drove her to, u know, then maybe thats how she ended up there, and then with kim lip i think jinsoul put her there actually. i dont know why but its Something Nefarious i bet

- which then begs the question of what is going to happen this era?? we left off with the girls completing the ritual to turn back time and presumably get haseul back but that opens so many doors? will vivi turn back into a robot? will eden be reinstated? will yeojin be back in the forest? with how jinsoul was lurking around and never really coming out of the dark/hiding in why not, im pretty sure shes got something up her sleeve... odd eye circle could come back properly in some form or another but maybe with jinsoul controlling the other two (if she wasnt already)? also while im on the subject, what are odd eye circle actually doing? who are they? ive always fondly thought of them as a witch coven but..are they actually a witch coven? something to do with the power of three and thats why they had to kidnap choerry? i know theyre looking for the other girls but what for? if they were alive and the other girls were..less so, were they maybe trying to summon them to the land of the living?

- also...i hope yeojins frog man makes a reappearance 

#loona #idalui sonyeo #heejin #hyunjin #haseul #yeojin #vivi #kim lip #jinsoul #choerry #yves #chuu #gowon #olivia hye #blockberry creative #kpop

[inside-of-a-fangirls-mind]

The White Wolf’s Dance; Chapter 5

Notes; SOOOOOO IDK. SOME SHIT WENT DOWN IN THE LAST CHAPTER AND WE SHALL HAVE SOME MORE FEELINGS AND READER GETS BRAVE. PLUS THERES A BALL NOW. SO AHH. 

Words; 4,619

Pairing; Geralt X Reader

Warning; Cursing, harassment cause reader is an elf, Self imagine issues, 

Also; Sabrina is totally out of character so i’m sorry but reader needed a friend and I made a little backstory for them that will be reveled later. They old friends and she is very nice. 

(I do not own any of the gifs nor anything witcher)

Tag list; @andyl394 @grumgoblin @yuminyg @ayamenimthiriel @wintersoldierslut @tapismyforte​

(If you wanna be in the tag list let me know!)

                 *Chapter 5; A Passion for Tomorrow*

When you finally awoke the next morning your head was on fire, the room was spinning and way too bright for your liking. Pulling the pillow over your head you grumbled to yourself. Maybe drinking so much wasn’t the best idea you had ever had.

After a while of sulking in bed, you finally pull yourself to sit up, a hand on your head as you mutter a few words to alive the pain. Finally able to see without the room spinning you stand up and go to the mirror to straighten out your hair. Noticing you were still wearing the dress from last night. You grumble to yourself before quickly taking it off and looking around for some pants and a shirt. Dresses were not normally your thing, but last night you just wanted to be a normal girl and have some fun. That was over now.

You were digging through the drawers when you heard the door open behind you, turning to the door expecting Jaskier you wore a smile until you saw Geralt standing there a little wide-eyed. You nearly shrieked before grabbing a pillow off the bed to cover yourself. “How about you knock next time.” You muttered your cheeks a bright pink.

Geralt was speechless before quickly shutting the door, though he did stand outside it for a little while trying to regain his composer. It was always something with you. Either your flirting nonstop, getting drunk and wanting his attention, or he’s walking in on you naked. What was up with the timing?! He lets out a sigh before speaking through the door. “Jaskier and I are heading out, to the next town to see if the Barghests’ contact is still valid. I uh-” He paused a moment and you took a few steps closer to the door. “If you want to come along, I-” You smile softly before placing a hand against the door.

“I’d love to come along Geralt. Must be nice to have a competent fighter with you.” You teased with the biggest smirk before you heard his mutter under his breath before leaving. Part of you wanted to scream, the other part wanted to run the other way. You would be traveling with them, for how long you didn’t know, but maybe just maybe it would be until the end of days.

You quickly searched for pants now, wanting to be ready to head out. “JASKIER I NEED SOME PANTS DAMMIT.” You screamed and almost instantly he was knocking at your door with some. “Oh, that was fast. Thanks.” You opened the door a bit before smiling brightly at him. “I can’t wait to come along with you guys.” You hummed before pulling him into an awkward one arm hug. “I know this was your doing, thank you.” You whispered to him before shutting the door to quickly get dressed.

Once the pants were on, you quickly slipped on the shirt and buttoned it up, slipping your bag over your shoulder. Your sword strapped to your hip, bow to your back, and knife on your chest. You looked over yourself in the mirror before pushing your hair back to see your ears. You didn’t remember taking off the concealing spell but then last night came rushing back to you. Geralt laying with you, you laying with him, his hand on your cheek and a hot blush flooded your cheeks.

“Oh, Gods.” You whisper before putting your hands over your face. You couldn’t remember what you had said to him, was he only being so nice because he knew you liked him? Your mind was flooding with possibilities before taking a deep breath. “Just gotta pretend like it didn’t happen. You were drunk, Geralt surely knew that. As long as you act like it didn’t happen it will be okay.” You nod to yourself before heading out of your room and downstairs to where Keira was saying goodbye to the boys.

You wrap your arms around her and smile. “I will definitely be back to visit you, it’s been too long since I’ve had a female friend.” You chuckle before she hugs back.

“You are welcome back any time Y/N, it’s been a pleasure having you around.” Keira smiles before tucking your hair behind your ear then smiling. “Be proud of who you are. You deserve respect.”

You smile brightly before nodding and adjusting your sword. “Thanks, Keira. I’ll be seeing you.” You then head over to Jaskier as you two walk outside leaving Geralt alone with her.

“Jaskier,” You start as you notice another beautiful horse next to Roach. “What happened last night?” You whisper before he chuckles a little.

“You got drunk and confessed your undying love for him.” He teased as you playfully punched his shoulder.

“You might of, but I have no such love to confess.” You smirked to the bard before walking up to the horse. She was a creamy butterscotch color with black spots trailing down her backside. “She is gorgeous. I thought Keira only had the white one?” You turned to Jaskier as he runs his hand through his hair.

“Geralt thought with the three of us, we could use another horse. I think he means for us to ride together, he doesn’t want anyone touching Roach.” Jaskier walks over and pets the Horse before smiling to you. “And between you and me, I can’t ride worth a damn.”

You chuckled before adding a braid to her long mane, “What should we name her? I was thinking Slywia because she seems wild and free at heart.” You hum stroking her mane as she nudged her head towards you.

“She’s yours, name her whatever you like.” Geralt spoke before walking up and mounting Roach in one quick motion. Your eyes glance over to him before back to Slywia. A smile growing on your lips.

You easily mount her, stroking her mane again. “You here that girl? You’re all mine.” You hum before holding out a hand to Jaskier. “Get up here, I’ll protect you.” You teased as Jaskier took your hand and tried to get up on the horse but was struggling. Geralt trotted over on Roach and grabbed him by his collar and set him on the horse.

“I wanna be there by sun fall, let us go.” Geralt spoke before catching your gaze, offering you a small smile and then riding off. You smile before pulling Jaskier’s arms around your waist before taking off after him.

“Don’t make this a race, I’ll surely win.” You teased as the three of you road off onto another adventure.

You guys traveled all day and into the night, getting to the town and slaying the Barghests’ with ease. With you and Geralt, not many monsters stood a chance. You two fought like two halves of a whole. Where you swung he covered you, and when he swung you blocked. It was like watching a magnificent dance, only with blood and guts spilling all over the stage instead of flowers.

You guys didn’t stay in one town very long. Just long enough for you all to make some coin. You using your tactics to charm young men out of their coin for a night they would never forget, even if it was all in their minds. Jaskier with his songs and Geralt will monster killing. Though Geralt never spoke a word about how you earned coin, you knew it bothered him. But you would have never guessed why.

Soon enough in your travels, Jaskier came to both of you while you were drinking at an inn. “Guys, who wants to go to a party? I have an actual performance at Kaedwen. King Henselt has requested my presents for a royal ball. And of course, it wouldn’t be a party without you too, also many a little protection.” His smile said it all. Some royals there would be mad at him for sleeping with their wives and daughters. Jaskier did have very good luck with any lady he encountered.

“Sure. I’ve never been to a party at a castle.” You shrug before chugging your booze. Geralt looked annoyed but he just nodded as Jaskier sat down at the table smiling like an idiot.

“We have to be there in two days so let’s go!” He cheered before you stood up and paid for the drinks you all had and grabbed some supplies to go. When you all were walking out of the bar and a man bumped into you knocking you to the ground. You gritted your teeth before he just stared at you in horror.

“It’s a filthy Elf!” The man cried out going for his sword. You reached up and touched where your hair had fallen behind your ear to reveal your true identity.

Geralt was quick and stepped in front of the man, putting his hand on the other man’s sword. “Anyone even thinks about harming her will he slaughtered on the spot.” His voice was rough and deadly.

Your eyes quickly looked around the room, many others standing with their hands on their swords. Surely you could fight your way out of this one. You hand went to your own before Jaskier was pulling you up off the ground. “C'mon Y/N they aren’t worth it.” He whispered before pulling you towards the door. Geralt stood blocking the way out for all the men at the inn.

“Why are you protecting a filthy elf?”

“Don’t you know she killed our babies?”

“Something as disgusting as that doesn’t deserve to live.”

All the voices screaming out really got to you. You had almost forgotten how unkind the world was. While being with Jaskier and Geralt they never gave another thought to you being an elf. Jaskier even liked your ears and was always asking you to show him some magick.

As you were lead you, you sighed quickly covering your ears with your hair, not saying a word. Jaskier took your hand and lead you towards Slywia. “Don’t mind them. They used to say the same thing about Geralt. Maybe I should write you a song! Then they would show you some respect.” You offer a smile to Jaskier before mounting your horse.

“it’s fine, I’m used to it.” You lied before raising your hands to cast a concealing spell. But before you could Geralt grabbed your hand and pulled your attention to him.

“You don’t need to hide who you are from men like those. You don’t have anything to prove to them. I-” He started before going silent. You stared at him before at his hand holding yours. You could feel your heartbeat rising, your eyes welling up with tears.

“As I said, I’m used to it. It’s okay Geralt.” You offer a smile before pulling away and focusing on petting your horse. Jaskier managed to climb up behind you on Slywia before Geralt mounting Roach. The three of you didn’t talk much as you rode off.

Things like this shouldn’t bother you, the fairy tails of man, you always thought to be a myth. No one ever had any problems with you until they discovered what you were. Why did it matter? It didn’t change who you were. Men always loved to be around you until they found out. Why did being an elf mean so much to them? They had slaughtered your people, the great cleanse they called it. Why wasn’t that enough? Why did ever last elf need to die in order for them to be happy with your race?

“Y/N,” Jaskier whispered to you, before wrapping his arms tighter around your waist. “I think you are absolutely amazing, in every way.” His soft voice makes you smile.

“Thank you, Jaskier.” You smile turning back to look at him.

Soon enough you were arriving at the castle, it was just past nightfall and Jaskier thankfully did all of the talking. You couldn’t have done it even if you wanted to. You didn’t say a word as you put up Slywia next to Roach. Geralt’s hand touching your shoulder pulled you out of it for a moment.

“Can we talk?” His voice was soft as he took your hand and lead you down a hallway from the stables. You were confused but again couldn’t be bothered to say a word.

Once he pulled you into a small room off the hallway, the doors shut behind the two of you. “Geralt, what is the meaning of this?” Your voice was weak compared to how confident it normally was.

“You don’t have to be here you know. You don’t have to go to this. You could ride off and be happy somewhere else you know.” His amber eyes found yours as you looked away.

“And where would I go? You and Jaskier are the only family I have now. If that means pretending I am human for a few days, I’ll be okay.” You offer a sad smile. “Men are weak for a woman like me, it wouldn’t be any different than before I met you all. Play the part, and I’ll be fine.”

“No!” He nearly shouts before backing you up against the door. “You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not. If someone as much as looks at you in the wrong way I will slaughter them on the spot.” He growled, his amber eyes meeting yours once more before softening.

“Geralt.” You whispered, your hand moving up to rest on his cheek. “I’ll be okay. I can play the part.” You whisper, finally realizing how close he was to you. His chest almost pressing into your own. His beautiful lips merely inches away from yours.

“I will protect you Y/N, you don’t have to hide what you are.” His voice was soft before his eyes cast down. You lift his head so he looks at you again a soft smile on your lips.

“Geralt.” You whisper before a smile lingers on your lips. How much you wanted to scream you loved him, how much you wanted to kiss him at this moment, to promise him you would do anything for him and Jaskier. As long as you all could be together. “Thank you.” You lean in and place a kiss to his cheek a soft blush covering yours. “I’ll see you at dinner tonight.” Without another word you left the room and ran off to find Jaskier so he could show you to your room.

“Y/N?” A soft voice called out causing you to turn around on the spot. Upon laying your eyes on the woman who called your name a smile grew on your lips.

“Rina?” Your voice was full of happiness as you darted towards the woman embracing her in a hug.

“I thought that was you!” Sabrina chuckled before pulling you closer to her. “It’s been way too long, but why are you here?” She pulled back looking over you.

“Jaskier, my ba- my friend is playing at the royal ball. He requested mine and our other travel companions company.” You smile before she links her arm in yours.

“Let me show you to your room, we have much to catch up on my friend. Plus you can’t possibly wear that to dinner.” She hums before the two of you are heading off down the hall.

“Y/N” Geralt called as he watched you walk away with the other woman. He had to take a moment to control himself before darting after you. Why did you always feel the need to hide who you are? Why couldn’t you just let him protect you for once? He wanted nothing more than to be there for you, yet you seemed oblivious to it. He sighed as you and the other woman were out of sight.

Jaskier had walked up to him, “Where Y/N? I got our room keys.” He held out Geralt’s key before looking over his friend. “Why do you look so out of sorts?”

“Y/N kissed me then ran off..” He mumbled before taking the room key. “Let’s just get this over with. Where are our rooms.” Geralt started heading off in one direction.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE KISSED YOU! GERALT WAIT!” Jaskier shouted as he ran after him. “You’re going the wrong way!”

Sabrina had taken you to her room. It was huge and full of vibrant blues and golds. “Rina you mean you live here? This is so beautiful!” You nearly cried out before running your hands over the bed covers. “And so soft.”

She chuckled before going through her closet. “The King lets me have whatever I want in return for aiding him. It’s a nice setup. It’s what I trained for. What I wanted you to train for.” She smiles before pulling out a gorgeous dark blue dress. “I think this will go nicely with your complexion. Or of course, you could go to black. But I think blue is more your color, especially here.” She held out the dress to you.

You took it in your hands, it had to be made of silk. From the sultry neckline to the soft slit up the left thigh, the golden belt and speckles over it, to the light white fade at the end. “Are you sure. This is much to fancy for me.” You can’t help but let the fabric run through your hands, it was the softest thing you had ever held.

“That’s your dinner dress, it’s a little too revealing for dancing don’t worry. I will have another for the ball itself.” She walks over and takes your hands in hers. “Y/N you deserve this. At least enjoy the royal treatment while I can give it to you. You will look amazing. No man will be able to keep his eyes off of you in this.” She hums before running a hand through your hair. “Now what to do with your hair. huh?” She pushed your hair behind your ears and smiling. “I’ve never seen you walk freely without concealing them before.”

You blush hotly before covering your ears with your hair again. “It’s nothing..” You whisper before laying the dress on the bed.

“It’s the Witcher, isn’t it? You’ve fallen for him and he’s the reason.” She hums knowingly. The sudden fear in your eyes confirms it.

“What! No! Geralt isn’t the reason for anything!”

“Darling, you’re eyes tell it all.” She smiles before tucking your hair behind your ears. “I bet he fancies you more like this huh? Your ears do add to your beauty after all. Go bath and I will be waiting”

You quickly go and bath yourself taking time to relax in the hot water a little, it’s been a bit since you could relax like this. But as soon as you were out Sabrina was waiting for you.

She patted the bed in front of her, and you sat there. “Sit still and I will make sure he will not be able to resist you.” She hums and before you could complain she was getting to work on your hair.

“Do-” You cleared your throat. “Do you really think so?”

“Honey if he has any sense in that brain of his, he will be weak in the knees when he sees you. Of course, if he hasn’t already fallen for you. If he has, he will be a stuttering mess. But from the way I can clearly read it on you, there’s no way he doesn’t know about your feelings.” She hums running the brush through your hair.

“Wait what! You think he knows?” Your cheeks heat up as you do your best to sit still.

“Of course he has, you have that dreamy look in your eyes. I bet you’re a blushing mess around him too. Just like the old days.” Sabrina chuckles before finishing your hair and looking you over. It was half up and half down. The upper part pulled to drape over your ears to hide them. Then flowing down your back in a wide braid. Two slight strands hanging on either side of your face and the rest curled. “My Gods I might make a princess out of you yet.” She giggles before holding up a mirror for you to look into.

Once you see yourself in the mirror your eyes go wide. “Is this really me?” you whispered before looking down at the dress.

“Don’t worry we still have makeup.” Sabrina cheered before getting to work on that, then helping you into the dress and heels. You take one long look over yourself in the mirror and hardly recognize yourself. “Just think you could have had your own palace, dressed like this every day my dear Y/N.” She hums before offering you some earrings and a necklace.

“I don’t think I could fight in this dress though. It isn’t a life for me. Besides if anyone ever found out my secret I would be slaughter on the spot.” You sigh before running your fingers along the V neckline that travels down your chest. Leaving nothing to the imagination with the fully open back on the dress either.

“Y/N What’s going to happen if you didn’t fight? You could have a safe life. You could stay here with me. I’m sure the King wouldn’t mind a sorceress as powerful as you.” She smiles before putting her hands on your shoulders. “Just think about it okay?”

Think about it you would, being able to sleep in a nice bed, bath whenever you wanted to and live within a castle would be the life. Never having to trick men or fight monsters for coin. But what about your friends, you couldn’t leave them.

“Come along, dinner is nearly ready. I’m dying to meet the man who has captured your heart.” She hums before walking out of the room.

“Rina! Don’t you dare go embarrassing me!” You call out after her as you try your very best to run in the heels she gave you. But every few steps you were stumbling. You even fell right into someone, thankfully they caught you before you could hit the ground.

“Oh my gods, I’m so sorry-” You started before looking up and seeing Jaskier holding you.

“Wow Y/N..” Was all he could say as he looked over you, you gave a small smile before getting out of his arms.

“Wow yourself Bard.” You smirk looking him over. The deep blue suit with the white ruffled shirt and bow tie looked amazing on him. “Didn’t know you could actually look good.”

“I didn’t think you could look like a lady either.” He teased back before you playful punched his shoulder.

“Don’t be rude, I can dress like this if I want to. I just don’t want to. Pants are a lot easier.” You look down the hall to see Sabrina waving to you. “Oh, Jaskier come meet my friend Sabrina!” You hum before Geralt walks up to the two of you.

You nearly freeze in your tracks, your eyes glued to him. The blue, very form-fitting suit he was in, the piercing-ness of his amber eyes, the soft grey of his ruffled shirt slightly unbuttoned at the top. Your heart felt like it was going to give out right then and there.

“Y/N” Geralt gave you a nod before walking past you. You stare after him before looking to Jaskier.

“Okay, that has to be illegal.” You mutter to yourself before Jaskier loops his arm in yours.

“C'mon let’s go meet your friend. You will have plenty of time to gawk at Geralt later.” He hums pulling you off towards Sabrina.

“I was not gawking!” You try to defend yourself but as soon as you see Geralt talking to another man you can’t help but let your eyes cast over him.

“Oooo So is that him? My, my Y/N. I can clearly see why you’re enchanted.” Sabrina giggled pulling you out of your daydream before looking to her.

“Rina this is Jaskier, and that’s Geralt over there.” You mumble before sighing. “Just don’t talk to Geralt okay?”

“Wait so you told her about your love for Geralt but wouldn’t admit it to me unless I begged? That’s no fair.” Jaskier pouted slightly before offering his hand to Sabrina. “I think we need to talk about Y/N’s situation huh?”

“Let’s.” Sabrina hums taking Jaskier’s hand before heading off to take seats at the table.

“Don’t you dare!” You try to stop the two of them but Geralt walks up to you and offers his arm. You stop in your tracks looking over him before biting your lip.

“Shall we also join them? Got to make sure Jaskier doesn’t sleep with the wrong royal tonight.” Geralt spoke before you put your arm in his as he leads you to the table. Taking seats together across from Jaskier and Sabrina.

You look to Sabrina and Jaskier with a glare. They talk with Geralt and you all night though Geralt seems unphased as normal. Did he not care that you kissed his cheek? Surely you wanted it to affect him, not for him to ignore it. But he was acting as if it didn’t even happen. Maybe Sabrina was wrong.

You all chatted away as you ate, the king making a toast. You smiled after being able to relax a little. There would be some light dancing tonight and then tomorrow a full out ball. You didn’t plan on dancing, hell you didn’t even know if you remembered how to. It had been ages since you had.

“Miss?” You were pulled out of your thoughts by a voice and tap on your shoulder. “I was wondering if I could have the first dance.” He hums offering you his hand. Before you could say anything he was pulling you out of your chair and spinning you around with a few others who were also dancing to the soft music.

You kept looking to Jaskier or Sabrina to save you, but they only gave you sly smiles. You were about to start tripping over your feet when a large hand grabbed the other man by the arm and pulled him away from you. “I think it would be best if you didn’t dance with Y/N,” Geralt’s voice surprised you, looking up at your white-haired savior you smiled.

The other guy knew he didn’t stand a chance against the witcher and headed off to sulk. Geralt offered his arm to you. “How about we get some drinks?” He offers you a slight smile before you nod.

Geralt was always coming to your rescue even if you hadn’t asked him to. It only made your heart swell with more love for this man. It didn’t take long for you to relax with your friends and drink into the night. Tomorrow though, tomorrow you would ask Geralt to dance with you. Tomorrow would change your relationship. Tomorrow you would tell him how you feel.

The whole night you didn’t realize Geralt’s eyes were on you and you alone. Seeing you in that dress, seeing you enjoy yourself fully. It made his heart pound. Surely the attraction was just sexual. It had been a while since he had been with someone. But even then, just your smile was enough to warm his whole being. Maybe tomorrow, tomorrow he could tell you. Tomorrow he would spin you around on that dance floor and show you he’s the one who knows you better than anyone else. Tomorrow he would return your kiss. Tomorrow you would be his and his alone.

Tomorrow would change everything, though the two of you couldn’t have guessed how.

#witcher #the witcher tv #the witcher game #geralt x reader #geralt x y/n #geralt fanfic #geralt x you #geralt of rivia #jaskier #jaskier x you #jaskier x reader #witcher jaskier #witcher fandom #witcher fanfiction #henry cavill #reader insert #elf reader #the white wolfs dance #witcher sabrina #elf #not at all cannon #jaskier is amazing #The White Wolfs Dance Fanfic

[dumbdancemomssideblog]

S1E1: The Competition Begins

okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world. 

anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up

Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)

god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao

i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING

the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet 

(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)

mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show

i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right

melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)

maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot

melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!

camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys

aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid

melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime

oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days

Act 2:

[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh] 

the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic

“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”

“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell

“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”

okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho

aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :( 

paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before

nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/ 

Act 3:

cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged) 

vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?

in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????

Act 4: 

THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS

this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)

“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code

this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???

regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense

another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them

“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream

she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call? 

“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic

im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(

Act 5:

they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.

i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all

abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit

i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show

in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...

“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”

abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)

i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol

also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right

this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine

their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly

and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)

the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff

chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho.... 

“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”

“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”

and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....

#dance moms #s1e1 #season 1

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

#personal rant #confession

[fortunatelycooltrash]

So people love to say that America doesn’t have free healthcare because the quality would sink and the waits would go up. Now, while those are valid worries despite being no excuse for the atrociously high prices of even minior procedures, I’d like to share some bullshit that I’ve experienced involving normal US hospitals and medical branches alike.

My root canal is going to cost 2500 dollars because it is not covered by most dental plans despite it being a completely necessary procedure that directly affects my health. Absorb that then absorb the fact this plan covers some of braces. The crown alone is costing over 1200.

I almost died in a hospital waiting room because my ‘stomach ache’ that was causing me so much pain I was sick with it wasn’t severe enough to qualify for immediate attention. Undiagnosed Appendicitis.

My nephew and sister almost met their end because an incompetent doctor misdiagnosed my sister with a URI. She had type A flu.

My cousins father had a doctor who refused to diagnose him despite him coming back constantly because of lethargy. Said he couldn’t find anything wrong. Her father was poor and had really bad insurance. Finally he went to another doctor and was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He could have lived if he had been diagnosed a year or two prior before it spead but by the time he got his diagnosis, it was too late. He died, I believe, a few months later but I was young so he might have made it a year or longer.

I suffered from chronic nosebleeds as a child to the point that blood didn’t even scare me anymore. The doctor told my mother that it was coming from wounds inside my nose and I was most likely picking at it and there was nothing medically wrong with me. My mother, knowing even as a child I knew not to waste her money, took me to another doctor. Severe Anemia. Still suffer from it too this day. Have to take those horrid tasting red pills🤢.

My aunt constantly butchering her budget because she needs her insulin and it’s cost keeps getting higher despite it remaining relatively the same. Luckily my state is looking to cap it at 100 though if that will actually go into effect isn’t determined yet.

My mom, bless her, repeatedly going in for her back aching only to be told pain was normal for someone of her weight and age. Nope, she is a nurse and turned people that were 300 pounds or more. She had completely blown her back and had a pinched nerve that was so severe she could barely stand without pain. The doctor that diagnosed her was surprised she could even walk.

My sister, having a grand mal seizure in the nurses office of a high school. They told her to stop faking. That bitch wasn’t even a real nurse so this one doesn’t count but I had to mention this because why the fuck wasn’t a registered nurse hired?

My (other) aunt having minor chest pain then suffering a heart attack in the waiting room because they had her wait so long since she didn’t seem serious. I’m sure that’s going to have lasting damage that could have been easily prevented.

My sister giving birth and getting a 28,000 dollar bill for a room and care for her and the baby. She was there for a day and a half. She didn’t even have a long or complicated delivery.

My mother being told she was completely fine to continue working despite having an off feeling about her third pregnancy(about 24 years ago) the doctor told her there were no complications and she could go on as normal. She miscarried her seven month along daughter three days later because her placenta was underneath the baby and tore. That doctor is still in practice.

The nurses in my mothers delivery room ignoring both her and the monitor. Which, if they had been looking at, clearly desplayed my older brother with his umbilical core wrapped tight around his neck. He lived because my moms main doctor walked in and had a conniption fit when he noticed the vitals dropping. He’s the doc my sis uses now. A good man.

(Same bro)My older brother turning blue everytime he cried being brushed off. Hole in his heart that has since closed.

When I was younger, I slipped in the shower and hit my head so hard against the metal lining of it(stall shower) that the skin split open and abscessed. My doc treated the abscess but did no further testing after a 4 hour wait. As we were leaving, I don’t remember much of this week my mom told me, I vomited and passed out in the parking lot. Had a concussion.

My brother being misdiagnosed with the flu, strep, and a few other things over the course of a few weeks before one doctor finally tested him for HIV. It was positive. Luckily he only had one partner. Unluckily, the partner was the one that gave it to him via cheating on him.

Me, almost dying of a violent case of strep throat because they said I had a sinus infection. My fever peaked at 104 then, blessedly, broke. I do not remember this as the memories of the days I was sick are incredibly fever burned but I remember wrapping blankets around me because I was so cold.

The strep attacked so quick and harshly that if I had lived alone it probably would have killed me since I wouldn’t have been able to get help and I would’ve kept trying to get ‘warmer’ and helped raise my temp over 106. You typically don’t come back from that one unharmed. If at all.

My older bro(cord baby) being told suffering from auditory hallucinations was a common thing(not wrong but they should have actually asked about his family history and idk, did more??) he had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. He is medicated and much happier now.

Me breaking my gotdamn pointer knuckle and the x-ray person getting blurry x-rays that she used despite the fact that they weren’t accurate. Thank you bitch, now my abnormally short pointer finger clicks because it began to set wrong.

Theres a few more but I’m currently giving my bro a hard time for texting me a text meant for his bf so imma bounce for now. May add more later. The whole point to this was to show people that don’t want free health care because the ‘quality would go down’ or the ‘wait would be too long’ that the wait is already long enough for you to die anyway and the quality already sucks ass if you’re poor because they will not diagnose you correctly.

Or They will misdiagnose you then blame YOU when you sue(happened to my mom in that miscarriage one but because he hadn’t wrote a release back to work she had no actual proof he’d told her she could.)

Or They will overcharge you for things that have a far cheaper value simply because they can and you can’t do anything about it because you need that procedure or medicine to keep your health good.

I can understand things like heart surgery or transplants, you know, the big major stuff not being free because yeah that shit takes a fuck ton of resources and care so I get it, I do. I can reasonably say “Yup that should cost thousands.” I mean, I’m don’t even avocate for fully FREE healthcare, I just want a limit on their overpricing bull shit to where it matches with economic standards.

You can’t expect someone with an average 7-4 job that pays 10/hr(oooh ya, y’all think I’d go higher? Guess what, young people starting out their careers also get sick!) to drop thousands upon thousands of dollars for whatever. The sad thing is I can say ‘whatever’ and you can actually think of multiple things that aren’t that major or that resource draining yet still cost thousands.

Even someone making 15/hour couldn’t do that and I’d be hard pressed to say even 20-25/hr could do that. They may have it better and be able to pay it off faster but they’d still be in debt for a while or have to work years after their planned retirement to make up for the lost savings if they were lucky enough to have them.

I’ve also heard people complaining about it raising taxes but you’ll spend way more getting something done at a hospital then you’d spend on those taxes in a year.

Besides, if you’re so pissed about taxes then to even it out protest the stupid taxes. Your house? Taxed. Your inheritance that you gain but also leave behind to care for your family? Taxed. Your property that you bought 100% full price paid? Taxed every year. Your car? Taxed.

How bout getting pissed about those instead of getting pissy about people getting their health fixed? There are plenty of ridiculous taxes so I don’t know why people are so against having one that actually helps people.

Sorry for this rant, I know it’s not centered around my profile theme but I am majorly pissed off that I’m about to have to let a tooth rot out of my head because my insurance decided that: covering something cosmetic like braces? Yeah! Covering a completely necessary surgery that can actually harm/kill the person via infection if left untreated? Nope, that costs us more!

I can’t drop two fucking grand on dental surgery. It’s just not happening. I don’t know anyone who can do that shit. Anyone who gets pissed off about me posting this: go slam a hammer against your tooth until it cracks down the middle, exposing your nerve to the harsh unforgiving world then let it develop a cavity around it.

Afterwards, try to eat literally anything: hot, cold, hard, soft, it doesn’t matter. You’ll cry, I promise. Now imagine being told the only way to fix that is to cough up over two grand and if you can’t well then oh fucking well? Kinda hurts ya a bit. Not nearly as much as the tooth but still.

Hell, I know dental probably wouldnt even get covered if they made healthcare reduced or free but this whole situation has reminded me just how fucked you are if you get anything remotely wrong with you in the U.S

#freehealthcare #no i dont plan on having kid too many bad genes #america #americanhealthcare

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

#strawberry shortcake #cartoon review #cartoons #sike reviews #child labor #pony labor #art #classic #diabete fuel #reviews

[p-st]

sakura haruno fics (ao3)

an old anon sent me on the quest of a lifetime when they first asked for sakura fic recs and my brain went “lets read every fic on ao3 in the sakura haruno tag” (also ff.net but thats gonna have to be another post in the far off future bc ff is an old giant)

fics are split into finished, in progress, and abandoned (and the fics with ⭐ are my top faves) plus every category’s fics will be in order from shortest to longest. im gonna include the original summaries along with my own separate take (really more of a reaction) and any warnings the fics need!

THIS IS A LABOR OF LOVE!!!!! which is a nice way of saying it’s long as shit, it took me forever, and i loved every second of it! let me know if any links dont work, theres typos that dont look purposeful, there’s warnings missing, if any fics arent in order, the formatting isnt right, etc.etc.

my sincerest apologies to mobile users

fair warning: im not exaggerating when i say it’s really long

(pic from naruto-manga-caps)

author’s note: im dumb and have adhd and though ive read most of these fics at least twice, i tend to skip over text. with this in mind PLEASE let me know if you come across anything in these fics that makes you uncomfy so i can either add a warning or remove it entirely

want to navigate faster? ctrl+f to search key words like: [ship], [author], bamf, mokuton, (team as) family, etc!

FINISHED

in the roots of the forest (i am birthed) by frostnesia

ship: none // words: 272 // chapters: 1/1

so little sakura walks; past the flowers, the vines, the bright red gates and enters to a sanctuary no one with a beating heart had stepped in for more than a hundred years.

au. little ficlet! OOF im always a little heart eyed about godly iconography. plotless! just a good short read that would absolutely rock my world if it was expanded into a multichapter story but it’s still good as is!

Seven or Two by grit

ship: sakura & kakashi // words: 623 // chapters: 1/1

He makes a split-second decision. Their teamwork was atrocious, but he knows who to blame, and it’s not the girl who blackmailed her teammates into giving a damn.

i really do need more fics where kakashi recognizes the similarities between himself and sakura. tbh i just need more fics where sakura gets the love and recognition she deserves. this is a good short fic for that! team seven doesnt make it through but sakura does! eventually! warning for one weird line abt the yamanakas that might make ppl uncomfy

Twelve and Sixteen by therebaeka

ship: none // words: 625 // chapters: 1/1

Twelve years old Sakura was weak. She was annoying. She cried over the littlest thing. She had no pain tolerance at all. She wanted to be strong. Sixteen years old Sakura was strong. She can split the earth. She can heal anything. She can take anything thrown at her. She wanted to be twelve again.

god i love fics that touch on all the negative effects a shinobi lifestyle has on ninja kids (like the loss of childhood innocence/wonderment). character growth and mostly a character analysis type fic which i love. sakura just loves her team but she misses being a kid (team as family!!)

Three Sentence Ficlets by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)

ship: narusasusaku // words: 626 // chapters: 3/3

Tiny ficlets written for various iterations of the Three Sentence Ficathon:

1) A quiet moment, after the world doesn't end. 2) Sakura reaches the valley's rim just in time. 3) The night before Naruto's investiture as Hokage.

soft and kind short fics abt my fav ot3. first chap is set post-war, 2nd is set during naruto and sasukes fight in the valley before he goes to orochimaru, and the setting of the 3rd is in the above description. these are really soft fics and im a sucker for the slice of life feelings

Another Kind of You by rhenna

ship: sasusaku // words: 655 // chapters: 1/1

"The problem with the color black is that it can't decide whether it is the color of the classically evil or the color of the bad-boy hero."

they are.. just liddle babies..team as family feelings bc that’s what really gets me in my uwus. not shippy! just sakura’s usual baby crush! surprisingly introspective

Unravel by grit

ship: none // words: 683 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura will be a shinobi soon and they know to coat their bare skin in poison.

au. sakura is a kiri nin amidst the bloodline purges. honestly just a super interesting look into life in kirigakure during this time and how its beliefs reflect on its children. warning for animal death and a little bit of an unhinged world view

I’ll Carry You by naru_writes

ship: narusasusaku // words: 701 // chapters 1/1

I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit, Sakura tells herself, slowly petting the now sleeping kitten, and then I’ll start on dinner.

i LIVE for domestic fluff and established relationships aaa. they love and care about her so much it makes my heart happy. all from sakura’s pov

Puppy Love by Dovey

ship: kibasaku // words: 852 // chapters: 1/1

It’s Sakura’s first day in the academy when she falls in love with Kiba Inuzuka.

i looooove how differently she grows as a character with just one difference. really cute baby genin crush. theyre rowdy, muddy, rough housing best friends. really short and lighthearted

Selfless Stunt by Michinokao

ship: sakura & naruto & sasuke // words: 859 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura wants to become chunin. She really does. However, after seeing Naruto’s nervousness, she decides to raise her hand to drop out with her team.

set during chunin exams. OOF babey im always here for team 7 as family fics!! short little thing and just feel good for ppl who stan sakura and love when others take her feelings into consideration :’)

What You See is What You Get, So Look Away by Dovey

ship: none // words: 903 // chapters: 1/1

a warmup piece i wrote trying to make a Kakashi who’s not so oblivious.

kakashi’s pov. lots of introspection and meta and i love this kind of stuff a lot. analysis on how different naruto and sasuke are from the rest of their team. love love love when anyone brings up sakura’s own mortality and what she had to do to get to where she is. aaa also the author notes at the end are very worth the read

Snake Tooth by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 904 // chapters: 1/1

The Forest of Death doesn't go right. Sakura can't tell what's real and what's not.

exactly as the summary says! orochimaru does some genjutsu stuff and my poor girl get severely messed up mentally. warning for implications of gore and an unstable mind. part one in a trilogy (others are on this list)

Here Are Your Bones Crossed by grit

ship: none // words: 977 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura begins recovery by unfurling her hands and giving him a tense report. Kakashi waits patiently for her to stumble through Konoha Standard, motions well-memorised but never practiced, and gently reaches out to lift her chin, making her look at him.

(Sakura blames herself. For trusting Kabuto, for not being stronger, for being here when really it should have been Naruto who survived.)

it’s fucked :( sakura is gonna need such a good therapist it’s really what she deserves. and if i did tear up a little after that last thing kakashi said? well thats between me and whoever’s reading this. read the author notes at the end for an explanation of whats going on in this timeline

Wind and Water, Earth and Rain by theformerone

ship: narusaku // words: 1020 // chapters: 1/1

Naruto almost loses himself on the Wave Mission. But in a world where Team Seven was created to prevent another Kyuubi attack, there is always someone there to remind him of who he is.

set during wave arc. MOKUTON SAKURA. not shippy at all? incredibly easy to take as platonic and just a sweet team 7 as family fic (which i did before i looked at the tags??) warning for super brief gore

⭐How Do You Tell a Girl You Want to Kiss Her? by theformerone

ship: shikasaku // words: 1084 // chapters: 1/1

Shikamaru punches a hole through Sakura’s wall. She can’t really deal with that until she has her morning coffee.

au. part three of the role reversal au (others are listed later) this is really cute and theres nothing life or death about it and i love how idk. normal it is? sakura is just tired and taking it in stride and shikamaru is a flustered mess (choji is a good wingman) (and god this is a small thing but i love the lowkey team 7 stuff. my faves are my faves in any universe)

Of Gardens and Girls by Dovey

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 1128 // chapters: 1/1

Soulmates: a person so important, so loved, and so central to your life that the universe acknowledges it. Flowers representing that love will grow inside of you until the love is requited, or you move on.

Sakura has a lot of soulmates.

au. set throughout timeline. really bittersweet, so damn bittersweet. this fic makes my heart hurt bc she’s so full of love and deserves better. (theres also a lot more ships nd every single one is platonic except for the naruhinagaa) warning for death :’(

Forgetting Something by theformerone

ship: sakukarin // words: 1130 // chapters: 1/1

Well I’m not eating you out in the kitchen like I was planning on when your daughter left.”

Sakura snorts.

“So she’s just my daughter now?”

Karin follows her into the room and sets down Sarada’s new spare pair of glasses on her desk.

“When you help her cause minor property damage before seven in the morning, yes, she’s your daughter.”

set in boruto universe. really fucking sweet. this is just a short and cute little slice of life thing w adorable sakura and sarada interactions

Smiles in Spring by Kalira

ship: inosaku // words: 1179 // chapters: 1/1

One spring day when they are very small, Ino meets a little girl with shy eyes, a beautiful smile, and pink hair, and immediately knows what she wants in her future. Ino's never had any qualms bending the force of her will on the universe to be sure she gets whatever she wants.

NOT sakura centric but i excused a couple of other fics already PLUS this is cute so whatever. it’s just short and cute and makes my heart swell

Drawing Her Back by Kalira

ship: inosaku // words: 1197 // chapters: 1/1

It's not the first time Sakura has had to lead her lover back to herself from deep in her own mind, and it probably won't be the last. She doesn't like it . . . but she can do it.

sakura is the best. have i mentioned that before? i love her more than anything if you didnt already know that about me. sakura is just making sure ino is okay and helping in any way she can and my heart is soft

Underneath the Underneath (is nothing but bones and blood) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1269 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura has a weak heart. This isn’t metaphorical, but literal- she’s born with a heart too small to pump properly. A valve is slightly misaligned, and any strenuous activity could kill her.

set from genin era to the attack on the village amidst the chunin exam. and again! dovey delivers the good stuff! no dialogue. life kinda comes at her fast and you can almost feel her whole mindset shift

Nothing but Paint by grit

ship: none // words: 1382 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura has her hand fist-deep in Sasuke's rib cage, seriously tempted to rip his heart out like he did hers, a conflict of interest mitigated only by the code of honor her shishou drilled into her, when she realizes that Team Seven won't return to Konoha without him this time.

character exploration of team 7 surrounding sakura (my weakness) not sure where in the timeline this is but i know it's post sai and yamato joining the team. it's short but interesting as hell!! immediate warning for blood if the desc didnt give it away

Hands Reaching Out by orlha

ship: shikasaku // words: 1412 // chapters: 1/1

The price of winning the war was steeper than Sakura imagined it to be. It was a price she gladly pay over and over again but the thought of not living long enough to see this new peace burns in her chest.

post war. just a short angsty little thing abt sakura and her seal. mentions of death

Canary Bill by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 1474 // chapters: 1/1

she knows that what they did for her will come back around. she didn't expect it to be this way.

part two of the disjointed realities series! still set during the exams and my poor girl still has some residual effects of the genjutsu orochimaru put her through. it’s not clear whether it’s real or not

From Ashes by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1476 // chapters: 2/2

She hasn’t got a family, hasn’t got a team, not in any way either of those words should count. It’s time to come to terms with that.

set near the beginning of shippuden it seems? interesting implications about her family that i want more of plus emphasis on team 7 as family minus her which hurts my heart aa. warning for death, blood, and gore (not super graphic)

Boar Tusk by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 1499 // chapters: 1/1

she burns in the flames of memories of which are fake, they boil her skin and melt flesh and she is nothing more than a skeleton of what she was. she wishes she were not what she is now, what she was then, and she begs.

last part of the disjointed realities series! still during the exams! yeah she’s definitely traumatized, no question about it.

How Lame by theformerone

ship: shikasaku // words: 1527 // chapters: 1/1

Nara Shikamaru is the Godaime’s apprentice. Sakura thinks he’s a world class nag.

au. ROLE REVERSALS!! super interesting!!!!! teams are still the same but their stories and personalities are different? anyway this au is cute and i love team seven’s relationship and also sakura’s skills are cool as SHIT. plus the shikasaku interactions are cute. part one of this role swap series.

Letters to the Front by Kalira

ship: hinasaku // words: 1644 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura, as both head medic and close friend and advisor to the Hokage, is not lacking for news from back home even as she manages the field hospital at the front lines, but her most prized letters are not those advising her of news on the war and politics.

set during war time. sakura just loves and appreciates her girlfriend so much aa warning for implied nsf/w. none of it graphic!

The One With the Eye Thing by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1776 // chapters: 1/1

a one chapter story that’s 100% just sakura getting a very gross revenge on her sensei and on the shinobi class system as a whole, at least as far as SHE sees it.

that also means this is SUPER gorey. let it be said that i give the people what they want

au. bamf sakura! set pre shippuden surprisingly enough. believe it or not, there is a very gorey eye thing. sexy ass takes on the role of civilians in a shinobi village. warnings for graphic gore and a mental breakdown

I Spy by AshesFall (Cloud_Nine)

ship: none // words: 1782 // chapters: 1/1

Team 7, Missing in Action.

The aftermath of the Wave Mission gone wrong.

part one of the Lucky Sevens series. not very sakura centric but the whole series is just neat! team as family which im always a sucker for. the series focuses on how team 7 copes with being back in the village and i just think it’s neat idk! warning for mentions torture! individual warnings for every other fic in the series in the tags but most are about torture, trauma, and general violence

Ghosts in Her Blood by Dovey

ship: gaasaku // words: 1831 // chapters: 1/1

After Wave, Inner Sakura changes into a familar face to help Sakura cope with her new reality

au. set during chunin arc. tbh!! no idea this was a ship fic til i read the tags so this can absolutely be read as a shipless fic. really makes you think abt how (not) good a shinobi village is at teaching children how to compartmentalize. my girl’s a bamf but traumatized and trying. warnings for gore and death

Coming Home by Angelchexmex

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 1901 // chapters: 1/1

Kakashi isn't surprised that his little brats had made themselves at home in his apartment while he was gone, he was just a bit curious as to why.

kakashi pov! set early genin days! not much plot wise but i love fics like that so much aa i love fics that just showcase the familiarity between team 7 in more domestic settings. they love sakura!! they all care abt her so much and kakashi love his kids a lot!!! really cute short and sweet team as family fic! warning for implications of abuse and starvation

Does He Make You Feel Special? by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1905 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura develops an eating disorder, and then she recovers with help from some friends.

au. starts pre shippuden. read the tags because this realy is what it says on the tin. warnings for eating disorders, self esteem issues, and relapse. she gets mostly adopted by tsunade and everyone takes care of her in general. hinata gets the place of apprentice and sakura gets more friends and support and gets trained by anko! focuses on recovery before plot so the only “real” plot is at the very end

Ink Stains and Cherry Blossoms by Hannahmayski

ship: sai & sakura // words: 1922 // chapters: 1/1

Ice cream doesn’t solve all of the world’s problems but Sakura is pretty sure it solves most of them.

or

Sai’s having a bad day and has never had ice cream before. Sakura fixes both.

sai centric fic w sunshine sakura. budding friendship. can be interpreted as romantic if you want? i didnt see it as that, but if it’s what u want! delves a little into sai’s feelings towards danzo. just dang cute and i always love a sakura who is there for her friends. allusion to an eating disorder and emotional manipulation.

⭐What Lingers by spacefleeting

ship: none // words: 1994 // chapters: 1/1

For someone who just watched her friend get beaten to a pulp, had her head nearly punched in, and stopped her teammate from going on a curse-induced murder spree, Sakura is handling everything very well. Until she’s not.

(Or: Sakura blossomed and she’s not really sure how she feels about it yet)

set during chunin exam. trying and failing to compartmentalize and naruto trying to help as best as another kid can. it’s endearing but wow, does canon naruto ever touch on how they help get children through the trauma of shinobi life?? the answer is no. mentions of blood. she takes a bite out of a dude. like. real shit

What’s Yours is Mine by DefiantDreams

ship: narusasusaku // words: 1994 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura doesn’t quite know how it happens, but suddenly their closets are a free-for-all for each other.

au. sakuras pov. just plain soft. short and cute budding romance between my faves aaa,, also genderfluid naruto!!

Last Match in the Matchbox by Endoplasmic Panda

ship: none // words: 2071 // chapters: 1/1

In which Sakura Haruno realizes that being discontent with adult life is part of the Team Seven contractual fine print.

(got rid of the rest of the summary bc it was too many text blocks) set during boruto! just some build up to sakura FINALLY getting her own time to just travel aa. everyone supports her and that’s how it should be

How a Fire is Born by ThroughtheMirrorDarkly

ship: none // words: 2075 // chapters: 1/1

What if there had been no Ino that fateful day in the park? What if Sakura is mercilessly bullied until one day she is pushed to her breaking point, with surprising results?

starts off during early academy days. sakura came here to learn and fuck people up and she just finished the curriculum. i HATE hiruzen but i love my girl so :/ also team seven are all rivals which sounds like it would be chaotic poor kakashi. warnings for abuse and bullying

How Sakura Discovers Her Love for Fighting by smolwhite_ugly

ship: none // words: 2087 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura Haruno is five-years-old when she decides that she really wants to become a ninja. Not a paper ninja. A shinobi.

set during early academy days uvu. rowdy girl rights!!!!! sakura is the ride or die friend everyone wishes they had. sakura is that short comic “you have befriended [name], [name] will now die for you” except it’s beat someone up. sakura’s best friends are blondes uwu

What a Pain by theforemerone

ship: shikasaku // words: 2269 // chapters: 1/1

Yamanaka Ino is an S-ranked missing nin. But before that, she was Shikamaru and Chouji’s best friend and comrade.

Sakura has an easier time compartmentalizing than they do. Especially in a fight.

au. second part of the role swap au! ino essentially took the place of sasuke. pretty focused on the ino-shika-cho story but entirely from sakura’s pov. shes so FUCKING COOL I LOVE THE JUTSUS OP GAVE HER SHES SUCH A BAMF IM IN LOVE. this au is so interesting i need more

Galvanize by nerazenn

ship: narusaku // words: 2352 // chapters: 1/1

gal·va·nize (v): shock or excite (someone), typically into taking action.

::

Sakura’s victorious wail was cut short, however, as she became immediately aware of two things.

One, her hand was in a lot of pain.

And two, Ino was nowhere near Sakura.

modern au. just a short meet cute fic sjcndek honestly id expect nothing less. it’s just cute and makes me laugh. something not serious thrown into the mix of recs

Truth in Platitudes by Kalira

ship: narusasusaku // words: 2454 // chapters: 1/1

Naruto stepped in with no thought to his own safety to protect theirs; now Sakura and Sasuke are left to try and get him out of the trap in his own mind.

yeah it’s exactly what it says on the tin. not sure where on the timeline this is. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!! im really so easy please

And Then the Desert Blooms by spacefleeting

ship: sakura & gaara // words: 2457 // chapters: 1/1

Haruno Sakura meets Gaara of the Desert piece by piece, name by name.

set throughout timeline. mostly sakura’s thoughts during the few times she’s interacted with gaara. development as friends! naruto would be so happy

Little Moments by iBloo

ship: sasusaku // words: 2519 // chapters: 1/1

Sasuke, Sakura, and Sarada enjoy an afternoon shopping and spending time with each other.

set during boruto’s dad’s son’s time. sasuke just loves his girls and sakura loves her family and sarada loves her parents so much and loves to spend time with them together. just a nice little slice of life feel good fic. im a sucker for domestic “filler episode” type fics aa they make me so tender

Bumpy Future by Dovey

ship: hinasaku // words: 2553 // chapters: 1/1

It’s her last year at the academy when Sakura hits her head. When she wakes up, she has a little trouble matching memories to the people in them- but she’ll have to get it right eventually, yeah?

in which sakura pairs vague associations with the wrong people, and everyone is much happier because of it (Except Iruka-sensei).

acadamy days!! newborns!!! everything changes djsbjd ino is her rival, kiba’s her bestfriend, and hinata is her crush and her class supports all of it, it’s cute (also read the author notes at the end, the last paragraph is so fucking quality)

Hello, Bright Eyes (been waiting on you) by mouseymightymarvellous

ship: saisaku // words: 2651 // chapters: 1/1

“look underneath the underneath,” except no one has ever really bothered to look at sakura and see her. and then there is a boy (isn’t there always). maybe they’re both just ghosts, making each other real.

no clear timeline. large focus on sakura and how she’s (not) seen by other people. emphasis on sai and sakura’s disconnect from naruto and sasuke. the plot confused me a bit but im pretty positive it’s about sakura dismantling root per request of tsunade. THE ENDING THOUGH??? sai deserves so much love that really made me melt a little

Prodigal Sons by Fiction_Over_Fact

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 2779 // chapters: 1/1

Sasuke is gone and Naruto is gone and Kakashi might as well be.

In which Sakura is sad and alone but discovers she doesn’t have to be either.

set after naruto leaves with jiraiya. sort of a character analysis/coming of age type fic. touches on the disparity of who she was and who she’s becoming. also has bits of her friendship with the rest of the rookie 9!

Sasuke Discovers Emotion #4 by Dovey

ship: sasusaku // words: 2852 // chapters: 1/1

In which Sasuke manages to avoid getting a team with any fangirls, and then figures out maybe he was secretly the fangirl all along, because a little distance and the influence of Sensei Tenten helps Sakura flourish and now he’s got a big old crush to deal with on top of everything else.

set during genin days. also sasuke centric but sakura gets put into a different team and her development as a result is so beautiful even though it isnt the focus aaa. sasuke pines and it’s cute!!

⭐An Improper Apology Properly Backfires by rex101111

ship: sasusaku // words: 2996 // chapters: 1/1

Sasuke Uchiha apologizes, or at least makes an attempt. Sakura thinks he could do better than THAT.

set at the end of the war. naruto is the innocent bystander and it’s all in his pov. god i WISH this went down in canon. this fic is so fucking funny and cathartic bc sakura finally gets to air her grievances. DEFINITELY a top fave of mine and i have it bookmarked for whenever i just so happen to be in the mood

The Value of Learning to Bloom by Yourself by alunbalanced

ship: shikasaku // words: 3001 // chapters: 2/2

Sasuke asks a question and receives an unexpected answer and Sakura stands on her own two feet as she walks away.

set post war. really good self indulgent fic for ppl who love sakura and arent the biggest fans of sasuke (this fic is a bit mean to him so i wouldnt recommend to sasuke stans). this doesnt read as one consecutive fic but more like two individual one shots. sasuke is only in the first chapter and the second one is dedicated to sakura’s first time training w tsunade and shikamaru analyzing her. also the author notes are me always

San by Demeter

ship: none // words: 3046 // chapters: 1/1

When three whittles down to one. A very biased view.

set throughout pre shippuden timeline. heavy on that introspection! not all that plot focused, just sakura’s thoughts on where she stands and how she’s always left behind

The Shadows are Darker When the Sun is Bright by EndoplasmicPanda

ship: none // words: 3437 // chapters: 1/1

She remembers that Team 7, from all those years ago, and then remembers the real Team 7, with bickering teammates and bloody spars and careful, loving admonishment. She remembers the Team 7 without Sasuke, remembers the Team 7 where it was just her and Kakashi for three long years. Remembers Sai and Yamato, sets aside her guilt for not visiting them in far too long, remembers Naruto’s grin and Sasuke’s smile.

They loved her. She loved them.

Can she love herself?

set after the war. sakura becomes hokage and shes good even though shes traumatized and not moving past it (bc shes trying to live the lives her teammates shouldve had) open ending but i choose to believe she takes to wandering the lands and going back into medical things while learning how to live her own life for herself and no one else :’)

Sense Memory by KuriQuinn

ship: sasusaku // word count: 3501 // chapters: 1/1

She’s not breathing, or showing any signs of life, and that worries him.

takes place when sarada is a baby. almost all of it is a flashback to smthn that took place in their baby days and it’s all in sasuke’s pov. the non flashback bits are soft and slice of life-esque. warnings for near death and drowning in the flashback and implied ns/fw near the very beginning and the very end

Coming Undone by Dovey

ship: none // words: 3643 // chapters: 1/1

The Uchiha Massacre is world-famous within weeks. The homicide of the Haruno family, in comparison, is a barely a blip on the radar- another case of personal drama with an unfortunate end. Sakura, the only survivor of her family tragedy, tries to grow up normal, chasing after boys and running away from nightmares.

She doesn’t grow up normal.

au. she’s a bamf with trauma babey!! she uses battle axes and hammers and her summons are tigers which is cool as shit. loss of morality and unquestionable loyalty is always so interesting. warnings for gore, death, and drug use

Sakura’s Plants by ba262

ship: none // words: 3704 // chapters: 15/15 // updated: 3/8/19

Sakura was given Ukki-kun the day she was officially left behind by team 7

set throughout timeline. a story told in parts surrounding the plants in sakura’s life. no dialogue! i love sakura so much and my heart hurtsss,, we get to see more of her reaction to being left behind by her team and im in PAIN!! shout out to sakura’s newfound support group. short chapters and a nice short read! idk how to describe it but the writing flows REALLY nicely

Pinpoint by CountessCzan

ship: sakura & shisui // words: 3792 // chapters: 1/1

Shisui takes care of a child named Sakura for a mission once. Sakura never lets go of him after that.

set when shisui is a genin post-war. sakura is a cute little baby and im sobbing at the picture this fic paints. I LOVE SHISUI A LOT he’s so soft im really tender

Stars Exploding by blesseth

ship: sasusaku // words: 4098 // chapters: 1/1

Don’t get Sakura wrong, she was happy she and Sasuke were becoming friends, following everything that had happened. Ecstatic even. But hell, did he have to be on her mind all the damn time?

set post war. BYE i had the cheesiest grin the entire time i was reading this. just a cute little pre-relationship type fic and i love the little team 7 as family things sprinkled in. just another good light hearted fic to break up the serious/plot focused fics

Sharkman and Cherrygirl by The_Floating_World

ship: none // words: 4245 // chapters: 1/1

Newly five Haruno Sakura joins her parents on a merchant trip, has a life-changing encounter, and gains a new goal.

YES BABEY!!! i love my little fearless to the point of just plain idiotic girl!! there’s a surprising amount of fics where kisame becomes a bit of an inspiration to my number one fave and i love all of them! more fuel for my love of sakura who focuses more towards her water aspect// anyway! my little baby is just in desperate need for a mentor figure/someone she can base herself off of bc shes a shy little things whom i love more than life itsself aa GOD the way she gets absolutely star eyed the moment she sees kisame has my heart in fits. i absolutely support my little murder kid and her life goals to be Just Like That (read the notes)

Warmth by kosmeja

ship: narusasusaku // words: 4296 // chapters: 1/1

In which Naruto has a nightlight, Sasuke is afraid of the dark and doesn't want to admit it, and somehow, Sakura is the perverted one.

Or: Team 7 have a brief conversation in the dark.

au. not to sure where this is timeline wise, but sakura is a chunin. they love her so much, yeah im crying about it. they just want her to feel good about herself and that theyre there to support her and im sobbing rn i love team 7 so much

House Upon a Rock by KuriQuinn

ship: sasusaku // words: 4311 // chapters: 1/1

She sort of considers herself the last resort, the one to pull him through; it never really occurs to her that she’s the one that could fall.

yeah!!! literal and metaphorical support!!! sakura is so good here i love her. shes just a kid and she wants to be able to support her teammates even if that means literally carrying them after they pass out from exhaustion. i super love how kuriquinn writes ss interactions and this fic is no different aa (also i cant believe he never gave her the spar she asked for :/) can be read as platonic if you want! it’s mostly onesided any way

Sakura of the Red Sands by Dovey

ship: gaasaku // words: 4811 // chapters: 1/1

Sasori hates Hatake Kakashi. He meets a young girl with reason to hate the man too, and finds the perfect opportunity for revenge.

If he accidentally builds a family along the way, well. He always was exemplary at exceeding expectations.

au. sasori never defected. set roughly around chunin exam arc. sasori is an asshole as per usual and accidently becomes sakura’s pseudo older brother figure? it’s actually super endearing how proud of her he becomes and how much he starts to root for her sjdndk though it is a Little unnerving here and there and there are parts where sasori is noticeably less normal than the average person. also MOKUTON SAKURA!!!!! she’s op and meets gaara and they click and this whole fic is maybe a little weird but mostly interesting (also the author notes are good please read them!!) warning for maybe questionable levels of attachment? oh also a kind of coerced amputation!

⭐Into the Water by BasicallyAnIdiot

ship: none // words: 5192 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura had always loved the water.

set throughout timeline. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but i love when people write sakura as someone who leans more towards her water aspect and this is one of my favorite fics that show that. my girl is connected directly to tobirama nd while he’s actually a bastard, this fic single handedly made me have a reluctant soft spot for him. plus she follows directly in his footsteps and invents jutsus too (god i love her shes so smart and cool) plenty of little spots about love that make me tender. god i love this fic so much and my girl kicks ass 100/10

Parsley Seed Goes Nine Times to the Devil by Mook_aron

ship: none // words: 5445 // chapters: 1/1

Slow to grow, quick to sprout, parsley seed goes nine times to the devil

When she’s six, a man murders her family.

The man is tall, and his features are burned into her mind. She won’t forget him- she won’t let herself forget him.

root sakura au! changes her whole childhood and perspective on village loyalty. kind of poetic and nice to read despite the dark themes. sai is there!! not a lot but he’s there and i love him. i hesitate to call this team as family bc it’s only just starting to develop but you can feel the potential! part 1 of a series i hope continues aa// warnings for emotional abuse, blood, mentions of gore, and murder

⭐Most Girls, or, the one Where Sakura Grows up and Gets a Fan Girl Along the Way by theformerone

ship: none // words: 5869 // chapters: 1/1

In the years between Naruto’s departure and return, Sakura develops.

Aggressively.

She also gains a second shadow.

set throughout timeline, starts immediately after naruto leaves. YEAH BABEY!!! BAMF SAKURA!!! she gets so fucking cool and she trains with team 8 and team gai (and gets close w the rest of the konaha 11 in general)!! she gets the muscles that she deserves that could only aid the fighting style tsunade taught her (and that she deserves in canon ugh) and she turns into such a powerhouse and people love her and it’s what she deserves (also sakura takes moegi under her wing and they’re good for eachother im crying ajdjdj this fic single handedly made me love moegi)

tag along fic: That Girl Thinks She’s the Queen of the Neighborhood (i got news for you! she is!) by theformerone

same au but all from moegi’s perspective and BOY OH BOY I RELATE. she’s got a huge fucking crush on sakura and it’s cute and sakura is teaching her how to kick ass and it’s inspiring *chef hand kiss* (word count: 6624)

I Won’t Go Down, Your Blushing Bride by felinedetached

ship: inosaku // words: 6186 // chapters: 1/1

(Three things come after that:

1. The moment of realisation. The moment she realises Sasuke’s left the village, gone off to do who knows what with Orochimaru-

2. Her memory returns to her - she was useless against her teammate; taken down by a pressure point and unable to do anything to prevent him from getting at it.

3. Inner rages, throws herself around, cursing and screaming until finally, finally she calms and she says Uchiha Sasuke is a traitor.)

In which Sakura gets the character development she deserved.

set throughout timeline. sakura basically gets adopted by every shinobi adult and it makes my heart so happy. not a lot of plot (minus that bit near the end), but so much depth!! she really does get the character development she deserves. she grows up scary and so op and inner is still there and she dates ino and theyre so soft im crying

Is the Real Over There More Vivid Than Here Ever Feels by falterth

ship: hinasaku // words: 6366 // chapters: 1/1

The healing process is slow.

set some time after the war. i hate this fic SO much it left me ugly crying. fucking NARUTO dies?????? naruto is eternal he's not allowed to die,, okay but aside from the fact that im in my feelings, this fic is so good in how it deals with grief and coping and other such things of dealing with the death of a loved one and how "coping" by ignoring/forgetting the emotions isnt actually coping. warning for death and therapy and a teensy bit of victim blaming? (it gets worked out tho!)

Ain’t no princess in this tower by atomicmuffin

ship: sakura & tenten // words: 6448 //chapters: 1/1

Boys are idiots. Ninja boys are idiots with deadly weapons, and it's the kunoichi's privilege and duty to call them out on their bullshit.

Or: how Tenten becomes the Konoha equivalent of a coach for kunoichi completely on accident, mostly because of her pathological inability to let shit go.

set after tsunade becomes hokage (au where sasuke doesnt immediately leave) tenten’s pov! oooo we love a girl who supports girls! she helps sakura treat her teammates like normal people who mess up and are really just dumb boys. BIG fan of fics where tenten takes up a mentor/older sis position for sakura bc she holds a really soft spot in my heart. oof im so proud of my girl’s development im really crying about it

⭐Sing as Their Bones Go Marching in Again by felinedetached

ship: inosaku // words: 6929 // chapters: 1/1

Instead, it goes like this: Haruno Sakura is the daughter of two civilians, from civilian families. She is nothing and no one—smart, yes, top kunoichi, yes, but she will never be on par with clan kids. She is teammates to an orphan powerhouse from a dead clan and the last remaining Uchiha.

Haruno Sakura is nothing and nobody, but she breathes and grows and thrives and the forest thrives with her.

(She opens her eyes to wood, grown from nothing, and Hatake Kakashi stares in disbelief at the tree where his student used to be.)

Or, Haruno Sakura should have had the goddamn Mokuton and this author is mad.

set throughout timeline. this fic has me FOAMING at the mouth!!! MOKUTON SAKURA!!! SENJU SAKURA!!! HASHIRAMA PARALLELS!!! SHE’S A BAMF AND OP AS SHIT!!! TSUNADE ADOPTS HER!!! INO IS HER GIRLFRIEND!!!!! i could sing my praises for this fic all day and still not be finished ahxndkek everything is so good, every little detail (like choji and kiba taking up healing) is so fucking delicious PLEASE read, im BEGGING

For Want of Freedom by ThroughtheMirrorDarkly

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 8908 // chapters: 1/1

Haruno Sakura may seem like she is destined for being a paper ninja, that her choice in this career was a flight of fancy or all based on a fangirl crush. The pink haired girl had no delusions about the life she had chosen, but she would rather die as a ninja then to be bled dry as a slave to her family. Lies and deceptions have built the world around her and Sakura is ready to tear it down, grabbing freedom with both hands.

au. starts off when team 7 first tries to get the bells. sakura’s entire family and backstory is altered and abusive. budding team as family and maybe even actual family between naruto and sakura? *winkwink* some implications of a heavy plot but it doesnt go anywhere and there’s no plans to continue it! warnings for abuse, child experimentation, and mentions of blood

Walk Forward, Don't Look Back by teslatempest

ship: hinasaku // words: 9311 // chapters: 1/1

After the war, Sakura is exhausted.

She decides to make a change.

set post war, some of my favorite types of fics! she goes on a literal road to recovery and it makes my heart so warm because i love her so much and i just want her to be happy and this fic makes me melt///// the hinasaku is only implied once so dont get your hopes up BUT!!! sakura makes narusasu happen and i really said aww out loud in the dopiest voice when sasuke kissed his cheek,, my favorite parts are easily when shes thinking/talking about her emotions bc im a sucker for that good good introspection! warning for mentions of trauma i guess? none of it is all that bad it’s just a good coping fic

Thank You for the Meal by theformerone

ship: narusaku // words: 9876 // chapters: 1/1

Tsunade tells him that the best way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Naruto leaves Sakura snacks.

au! not anywhere near as shippy as the tags and description imply? lots of little odd ships like brief mentions of nejisasu nd hinakarin (which has a bit more focus). not very sakura centric but damn beautiful regardless so im keeping it here. actually really fucking emotional with a huge focus on uzushio and the uzumaki clan. made me cry 10/10

⭐Hounds Follow Those Who Feed Them by dragonyfox

ship: narusasusaku // words: 10597 // chapters: 3/3

Kakashi knows when to outsource training, but he also knows that only he can teach them some things.

little bits and pieces of their lives before the last chapter in the first part of this series :(( my heart is soft and full of sadness **READ THE FIRST PART OF THIS SERIES** it’s a hound will die for you but never lie to you and i have it listed a little further down

⭐The Sound by LadyKG

ship: none // words:13231 // chapters: 4/4

They lost. Completely. Totally. Lost. They thought it impossible, that the fates would reject this outcome for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. They have been punished for this belief. And for that, she will go back. Sakura-time travel AU

set post war. INCREDIBLY disorienting. really good to read when you’re existing a little to the left. im not a huge fan of time travel fics but holy shit?? this fic really is something else/ sakura needs to keep obito alive while dealing with hallucinations(?) of her family from her timeline. this is really fucking good actually and she kills danzo and ive got the second part here further down. warning for death

Gallant by Crunchysunrises

ship: sakura & itachi // words: 14890 // chapters: 3/3

On the day that he makes genin, Itachi sees Sakura. It changes the course of his life.

starts when itachi is a genin and sakura is a tiny little baby. non mass. very itachi centric but sakura is such a pivotal part of his life. itachi truly deserves better (it’s friendship!!! itachi is traumatized and dependent)

The Fury by LadyKG

ship: none // words: 15711 // chapters: 4/4

Sequel to 'The Sound'. She needs to keep moving, looking forward and fixing the problems of the past. If she doesn’t the world might just fall apart a second time. Sakura time travel AU.

sequal to The Sound (above somewhere)(read that one first ofc). just as confusing and disorienting as the first one! i love love love how the flashbacks are written where theres no discernible break between past and present. also i didnt mention it in the summary of pt 1 but yamato is so cute! im glad he’s getting better things (same goes for itachi!). warning that things kinda loop and it really is a little disorienting. like whole paragraphs repeat. warning for death too

The Lessons Change by exarite

ship: none // words: 17529 // chapters: 5/5

In another world, Haruno Sakura is known to be the best medic-nin of all time, renowned for her surpassing of her master and with a fearsome reputation for her strength and medical feats.

This is not that world.

aus. bundle of oneshots where sakura gets different teachers and how that changes things. (notes in the first chapter highlight the little issue i have w how sakura developed under tsunade) read the summaries and notes (beginning and end) for info abt the chapter! heavy warnings in chapter 4 for gore, emotional manipulation, blood, and experimentation. also in chapter 2 sakura has a childish crush on shisui and in chapter 3 theres a single line where he implies smthn

⭐Your Childhood Home is just Powder-White Bones (and You'll Never Find Your Way Back) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 24367 // chapters: 11/11

Sasuke is not the only one who worries he's getting too comfortable in his genin life. Itachi decides to add another motivator to Sasuke's revenge plans by kidnapping the teammate who wasn't a charismatic Jinchuriki. Sakura is used to being an objective for those around her, not a person, but even for her this is a little much.

In which Sakura is held captive and learns what a genjutsu specialist can do to a person's mind, that sharks can actually make great friends, joins a dying clan, and gets regifted multiple times before she's finally strong enough to fight back.

starts off when theyre genin. itachi is unhinged and sakura gets the short end of the stick :( LOTS of trauma. my girl gets really messed up and learns a lot of things purely to survive and has a loose grasp on reality. kisame isnt a good guy (read the notes at the end of chapter 10!) but he gives her sharks which is cool. kabuto is bad and so is orochimaru and kimimaro makes me sad but thats all par for the course. sakura gets some sick water things and also tsunade gets to be there and sakura makes her own family. warnings for torture, gore, dissociation, general loss of reality, blood, and death

⭐Survival of the Fittest by cywscross

ship: sakura & shikamaru // words: 24790 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura is thirteen, still a Genin, lost in the middle of Earth Country, lugging an unconscious Chuunin around, and so far beyond scared that she’s moved right on to pissed off.

au. naruto i love you but jesus christ. bamf sakura and shikamaru just trying to survive so they can get home and hopefully rip naruto a new one. really really cool to read abt shikamaru and sakura being smart and working together and plenty interesting bits of introspection. god this fic is just so good and the slow deterioration into kids just trying to stay alive while having nothing but each other and developing unhealthy codependency as a result is so damn interesting. also i cried 10/10 they care about each other so much

⭐Being Over-Prepared is Impossible (and other mottos) by Pleasedial123

ship: none // words: 40071 // chapters: 15/15

In one world, Kakashi awoke, felt grieved at being assigned a team he sees his own in, and he let that grief make him a lazy teacher. He saw himself in Sasuke, Obito in Naruto, and Rin in Sakura. He woke, saw himself in them, and took a large step back, regretting accepting them as his new team. In another world he was quite hands off, merely a watcher because it was so very painful to watch. He saw himself and all his mistakes in this new team of his.

In this world, Kakashi awoke, saw the similarities, and instantly panicked. He suddenly realized what he had done, passing a team. Kakashi was left scrambling not to repeat old mistakes and regrets. This team would not suffer the fate of his team.

In this world, simply put, Kakashi became a teacher. This is the starting of a new Team seven.

set early genin days. TEAM AS FAMILY BABY!!!!!!!! theyre all babies and dumb and reckless but theyre in it together! not as sakura centric as other fics on this list but her development into essentially team leader is so so good!! kakashi loves his kids so much aa

can be read alone but theres a sequel!: Surviving is the Same Thing as Winning (words: 22492 // chapters: 11/? // updated: 2/9/19)

⭐A Hound Will Die For You, but Never Lie to You by dragonyfox

ship: narusasusaku // words: 41065 // chapters: 9/9

Kakashi caught his breath and pretended like he was just thinking about what to say. His dogs saw through it. “I’m thinking of having my team sign the dog contract.”

Pakkun nodded thoughtfully. “That might piss off some powerful people, boss.”

au! (chapter title is the pov) starts somewhere post wave and pre chunin exam. sakura is kakashis favorite and it really makes me wanna cry when fics do that PLUS SHE GETS A HUGE FUCK OFF BATTLE AXE BABY!!!!!!!! they get different developments!!! sasuke gets to be the medic and im really happy about it because he seems sO HAPPY!!! also they get cute dogs and it’s all very sweet. developing themes of team as family which im a sucker for plus developing poly t7 (pining sasuke!) which im REALLY a sucker for aa it was such a happy fic but WOW that last chapter takes no prisoners warning for super brief mention of rape and there’s major character death in the last chapter :(

⭐Samsara by KuriQuinn

ship: sasusaku // words: 54177 // chapters: 8/8

Sakura’s words die in her throat as the man’s eyes shoot open, and the coldest red irises she has ever seen meet hers. She is hit by a wave of terrifying certainty about two things right then – that she knows these eyes better than any other and that, if he wanted to, this man could stop her heart with just a look.

set during their travels. FINALLY!!! the parallels of three that ive been needing my whole ass life!! also sasuke is doting and worried and it’s cute. super fucking interesting and half of it takes place during the Ootsutsuki time (aka naruto & sasuke’s first incarnations) warnings for nsfw and some weird loss of identity/time stuff? it’s a great fic though, easily one of my top faves

⭐A Girl in the Forest of Moss and Bone by theformerone

ship: none // words: 65665 // chapters: 6/6

Katsuyu spits acid in her eyes, and Sakura must prove herself worthy enough for the slugs of Shikkotsu Forest to heal.

Or, it doesn’t translate to ‘damp bone forest’ for nothing.

IF THERE’S A FIC WHOSE SERIES ID RECCOMEND IN ITS ENTIRETY IT IS ABSOLUTELY THIS FIC. IF YOU LOVE SAKURA (AND SLUG SAGE SAKURA ESPECIALLY) PLEASE READ THE BALLAD OF THE SLUG SAGE SERIES. IT OWNS MY WHOLE SOUL. guhh sakura is so adorable in the first chapter (kakashi.. choke) GOD. the fucking uhhhh worldbuilding??????? its Actually my favorite thing aa op’s writing style makes me wanna cry it flows so smoothly and it’s so clever and makes me laugh and keeps me enthralled and FUCK sakura IS SO FUCKING COOL AAAAAAAA /// she loves learning and she loves the world and the world loves her and MAYBE im screaming about it. and i LOVE that this fic leans into how nature is ever changing and always moving and a constant balance like it really makes me choke on love.. her friends love her lots :((( warning for blood and mentions of death. im BEGGING you guys to read the rest of this series.. my girl is worth songs :’)

Broken Glass by Emma_Raye

ship: none // words: 68800 // chapters: 29/29 // updated: 11/6/18

Naruto and Sasuke left Sakura pathetically broken, but like any good shinobi she put the pieces back together the only way she knew how: relentless training. Years later Konoha is in the midst of a war and Sakura is a force to be reckoned with. Frankly, she's not even sure if she wants her teammates back.

au. starts during the early parts of tsunades training (with a timeskip) sakura has a lot of feelings of abandonment and im proud of how much shes achieved! shes in anbu and a diplomat (theres a war going on) and she stands on her own two feet! shes got a weird relationship w morality and starts questioning the way things are run.. also she holds a lot of resentment towards naruto and sasuke but it gets worked on throughout (and they become a team again!!!) im not a fan of how they treated her like shes something to be protected however briefly. sakura needs a mental health lifetime but god damn if she isnt smart and OOF the poetic cinema of it all,, warning for blood, death, and major character death

Home is Where the Heart is by deeppoeticgirl

ship: sasusaku // words: 100849 // chapters: 26/26 // updated: 12/20/18

And with every moment together, they get just a little closer, a little more comfortable with each other. Fall a little more in love.

set post war. okay listen. barring morally repulsive ships (kksk, itsk, mdsk, etc.) any sakura ship makes me happy if it’s healthy and loving even if i dont like the ship (like i dont care abt shikasaku and canon ss is SO bad i still cant believe it happened) THAT BEING SAID. this fic is cute and sasuke cares a lot and op wrote him so emotive and i love the little family he became a part of on his trips and sakura is a lovestruck fool (which still has me gritting my teeth bc it doesnt idk. Fit with the rest of her personality) but it’s cute if second hand embarrassing,, honestly this fic is so ooey gooey and full of cheesy love and it’s damn near too much (how many times can a person blush.. like fr..) and theres annoying bits of needless drama and lack of communication but im stubbornly holding onto this fic bc i LOVE the character study type route this fic takes/// (this fic is like. really dramatic.. thats a warning in and of itself and i mean like telenovela type dramatic emotion and subtext. not plot twisty dramatic) warning for violence, mentions of blood, and nsfw

Follow the Sun by LaceyJane

ship: gaasaku // words: 106341 // chapters: 21/21

Stranded in the desert, without food, water, or her supplies, Sakura decides to head west to the land of shifting winds and scorching sands. It hasn’t even been a year since the wind nation had tried to overthrow her city, but she knows of someone out there, someone who, above anyone else, holds the best chance of finding her in this barren land. Able to only hope her attempts to raise attention aren’t in vain, she sets off across the sands towards the west, intent to follow the sun.

not super positive where in the timeline this is (or if it’s an au) but if i had to hazard a guess id say between sakura being taken on as an apprentice and before sasuke leaves. starts off w sakura by herself traversing through a desert with the clothes on her back. she suffers before she gains but at least it’s not for long (Well..) also can i say that i LOVE worldbuilding and i LOVE how different aspects of suna were protrayed here. like the scouting and political things (sakura being the hokages apprentice and how shed be treated in other villages) and temari in general? ugh! theres focus on gaara and how he’s coping with his demon too plus he’s just kinda cute in this fic. warning for violence, the general bad things that happen while unprepared in a desert, and the q slur except it’s not used in regard to gay ppl in any way. nothing is romantic so it can be taken as friendship if it’s what you’d prefer!

⭐Time Flies Like an Arrow by Katlou303

ship: inosaku // words: 240288 // chapters: 36/36 // updated: 2/1/19

Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's four years old having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.

time travel fic!!!!! oh my heart is soft :( starts off when theyre tiny kids and sakura stands up for naruto (childhood friends!!) sakura’s memories of her prev timeline come to her in dreams (pretty intense for a kid to be having.. ily kagami:( ) SHISUI AND GENMA ARE THERE!!! ILY BABIES,, shes literally so baby and small and full of love for her friends :((((( shisui is fanastic and also a mess, baby sasuke is the cutest, itachi deserves better, sakuras family has me weak as hell theyre so perfect, and inner sakura in this fic is prev timeline sakura (who is so fucked up holy jesus) tsunade gets a new family member and oh fuck gaara is so cute and same goes for tenzo AND BONUS MOKUTON????? the ocs are really interesting and good and i love them (the word count is a little inaccurate bc theres parts at the end of the chapters themselves that are more like authors notes) warning for trauma, flashbacks, blood, gore, death, implied child abuse (never happens but it gets mentioned a lot), and major character death (kagami… :( ) GUYS I JUST REALIZED IT ENDED ON MY BDAY

IN PROGRESS

Grit Your Teeth (and Smile) by kattenprinsen

ship: none // words: 1423 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 8/1/18

Sakura is an immigrant. Her father is an immigrant too.

au. okay okay this is a pet peeve of mine with canon itself bc sakura was team seven’s token “has parent’s that are alive and support her” except that was genuinely never shown?? we know Nothing substantial about mebuki and kizashi and their relationship with sakura and fsnsksnk im ranting. this fic is nice and yeah there’s not a lot happening so far but i love the depth op is giving to sakura’s parents so much (and they are totally different from canon btw. theyre very good ocs and her dad is a missing nin from mist with sharp teeth aaa) (sakura is also a little bit of a bamf as a result of her parents and im crying about it)

Was That Your Voice or Was That Me by grit

ship: sakura & sasori // words: 1528 // chapters: 1/5 // updated: 10/9/18

Sasori takes Sakura on as an apprentice out of boredom and keeps her because she has potential and he is pragmatic to a fault.

Spontaneity doesn't suit his plans though and Sakura has her own opinion on murder, so it goes about as well as you'd expect.

au where this story take free reign of the timeline. sasori meets sakura when shes a little kid and takes a shining to her potential (as everyone should...). kinda fucked up tbh! at least a little bit! warning for murder and emotional manipulation. the only chapter seems to just be setting up the rest of the story where sasori essentially changes her whole mentality

Tables They Are Turning (Bridges They Are Burning) by pg13

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 1555 // chapters: 1/? // updated: 7/19/18

It’s not until she’s convulsing and the heat from her neck is spreading that she wonders if maybe she should’ve listened when her mother told her to reconsider being a shinobi.

set during chunin exam. SAKURA GETS BIT INSTEAD OF SASUKE. sasuke gets fiercely protective and learns of the incredible emotion called friendship. lots of promising things happen and then it gets cut off when it REALLY starts to get into it AAA/// i Know this fic is gonna be delicious

Skin is Just a Ready Made Coffin by ulittuq

ship: none // words: 2026 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 7/27/18

The night of the Uchiha Massacre is chaos. Alarms are blaring and shinobi are flying through the street and somewhere Sasuke Uchiha is waking up from seventy-two hours of psychological torture courtesy of his big brother.

Sakura Haruno hides under her bed with her hands clasped over her mouth trying to stifle her breathing and praying that the stranger prowling her house can’t hear her heartbeat.

(read author note at the beginning to see how the timeline is changed) some faceless guy takes advantage of the disaster on the night of the massacre and kills sakura’s family to help his mom(??) and that’s literally it! starts off balls to the walls!!  feeds into my feral love of the naruto civilians and how they might resent shinobi. i LOVE fics where civilians are the main focus and how they might be disenfranchised (especially in the hidden villages) as opposed to ninjas. theres not a lot of plot yet but it’s building up to smthn good!! i hope sakura keeps that little bit distrust towards shinobi and the system in her heart! blind loyalty to the state is unhealthy. warning for death, murder, gore, and panic attacks

Daisies and Lilacs by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 2487 // chapters: 1/? // updated: 12/5/18

She's always seen them. Sometimes they scare her, like every shadow to a child should. But there's something to them that she doesn't have, something that she doesn't want.

starts off early academy days up to when they meet kakashi. might not end up being a multi chapter fic. she sees things so im clocking her as psychotic in this fic bc same hat! not a whole lot in the way of plot but the writing style is neat!

⭐To Serve Man by Dovey

ship: none // words: 3090 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 3/19/18

Kizashi Haruno was a civilian man with a simple shop, from a civilian family of simple farmers; Mebuki Haruno was a missing nin from the land of Rain. Sakura took after both her parents.

“You owe yourself to three things, in order: the ones you love, yourself, and then your village.”

au. the rest of the summary is such a mood, i wish we got actual info about her parents :/ i LOVE this fic and i want more content about this universe because im nothing if not a sucker for sakura with a missing nin parent aaa,,, mebuki is so cool and sakura learns early on that blind loyalty to a village is not a good thing to cultivate. her morals are very based around earned loyalty and death bc thats what her mom knew (and i love and appreciate that she motivates sakura to aim for “flee on sight” if she were to ever end up in the bingo book) also kizashi is so sweet and supportive djefk warning for animal death and murder

I’ve Been Waiting my Whole Life (When I’ve Only Been Dreaming) by SheBeanSheep

ship: none // words: 3329 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 7/19/18

Before she was a boy-crazy fangirl, Sakura wanted nothing more than to be a good shinobi. Afterall, that’s what the voice, Inner Sakura, wanted. But Sakura just wanted to be Ino’s friend. So all of her energy went into making sure Ino would still like her, would still consider her a friend and a rival. So, Sakura bypassed the training scrolls of her childhood and picked up a hairbrush, shutting Inner Sakura away.

Then, Team 7 got the Wave Mission.

Then, Inner Sakura got a name.

Then, everything changed.

starts during wave. INNER BECOMES A SUBSTANTIAL CHARACTER HELL YEAH. and now shes actually mito uzumaki?? fucking legendary, nothing less than the best for my queen! mito kicks sakura’s ass into high gear and starts turning her into the bamf she was destined to be (though it hasnt actually gotten to that point ajdj i cant wait for future updates aaa)

Training Sakura by Kalira

ship: sakura & kakashi // words: 3601 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 11/25/18

Two members of Team Seven broke away on their own, and in the aftermath there remains only one thing to be settled. . . That one thing is not what anyone expected.

With Sakura as his sole remaining student, Kakashi settles in to train her properly, determined to help her achieve her ambitions as a ninja and become a great one.

set after naruto leaves. gai is a real one! yeah maybe i did start tearing up by the end of the first chapter. im emotional okay. also ive read so many fics where ino doesnt GET to be sakura’s best friend and it hurts me directly so this fic really makes me happy (bonus really short tag-along fic title Mistress where sakura gets a puppy aa)

Of Which Do I Change by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 3772 // chapters: 4/? // updated: 1/16/19

It starts and it ends in confusion. There never was a true destination in life, in what she was and what actually defined her. But one thing happened, and now she is someone, her name is on the lips of the Hokage and Clan heads and now they see who she is. Too bad she can't do that anymore.

But she takes pride in that. She has pink hair and green, useless, eyes. She is an anomaly in her own right, and that makes her strong, that makes her a terror in her own right.

starts off pre/early academy days. seems to be setting up to be a longer fic? interesting bits abt clan stuff! i do feel a little bad for ino :( sakura’s drive to have a name again is really nice to read and i KNOW shes gonna be cool as shit. not much in the way of a major plot insofar but still really good!!!

The Senju Whisperer by callmeportgas

ship: sakura & hashirama // words: 4754 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 11/14/18

In which Sakura comes to fully embrace the heritage her family couldn't, with some help from her imaginary friend.

au! MOKUTON SAKURA BBY!!!!! the story is only JUST developing but i can already see the building friendship between naruto and sakura!!!

Dont Think, Just Run by alicemc12

ship: none // words: 4806 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 3/10/19

Sakura was left behind after an ambush. Left for dead by mistake, until her life is saved by a young girl. With everyone believing her dead, Sakura is left to see the world from a different side. Without thinking, she runs away from the past she can't change and to a fate only she can control. Because it's just as a little girl said, the future will never be set in stone unless you let it.

starts off in oc pov. not sure where in the timeline this is but she knows how to heal by this point. COOL PLOT!! love the fate stuff and how much of a bamf sakura gets to be even though it's very ff.net-esque

Way of the Cherry Blossom by chadsuke

ship: none // words: 5422 // chapters: 16/? // updated: 9/8/18

Healing isn't a bad profession, Sakura knows. She could do well in it. But healing means that you're the one picking up the pieces, putting your teammates back together.

Sakura wants to stop them from getting hurt at all.

starts after sasuke “dies” in wave but before they go back to the village. shes a baby and wants to be able to stand beside the rest of her team. her family is so good in this fic! and so is kakashi even though he subjected her to gai. sasuke is cute too and naruto always is. theres some sentences that arent really jokes but are worded in such a fantastic way that i end up cackling. it’s all pretty lighthearted! warning for brief mention of death

⭐Salt in the Wound by Dovey

ship: sakura/oc // words: 6033 // chapters: 4/? // updated: 3/30/18

The Wave arc, except Sakura’s flimsy attempt at protecting the client results in her accidentally faking her death. Zabuza survives and takes her along with him as an apprentice, and she grows up in the harder but more emotional life of a nin on the run.

aka I have a lot ideas of how Missing-Nin would have a different culture than the rest of Naruto-verse, that would place a high-value on youngins’ in the trade given the rarity, and Sakura gets a lot of teachers over the years for the price of lots of emotional trauma & loss.

also, she gets a big fuck-off sword.

starts off during wave arc. ZABUZA I LOVE YOU. he takes sakura in because he’s a lonely missing nin who got used to caring for another person. sakura isnt as against the idea of staying with zabuza as she tries to pretend to be. also, GOD the reactions of the rest of the konoha twelve really really break me?? sasuke spirals faster and naruto gets essentially adopted by sakura’s parents? and kakashi gets fiercely protective. warning for death, animal death, and kinda graphic murder? also theres no actual ship even a little implied so far

Sharp by ineffableblue

ship: none // words: 6309 // chapters 2/? // updated: 3/12/19

Sakura has been teased, gotten angry for that, then gotten teased for getting angry. Everything she does isn't enough. But she's observant and slowly she starts to find out that she fits in better in the ninja world than she ever imagined. The best ninja are always thought to be something else and Sakura is a master at being mistaken for harmless.

starts when shes baby. sakura is full of rage and bottling it up like a molotov cocktail (and her parent are given depth which is great! but they kinda suck which isnt so great! it's a "tough love" sort of thing but it still rubs me wrong) i love and support sakura's desire to seek out knowledge on her own! and i am SO HAPPY this fic updated i could cry,, i KNEW the title and desc were familiar when i saw them at the top of the sakura fic tag one day and i yelled when i realized it WAS the same fic i had already put under left unfished// op if you're reading this know that im filled w love and support :')

Because I Ache by Wyle23

ship: narusaku // words: 6512 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 9/4/18

Ugly are the truths of the world. Hate's competitor can jail just as blindly. Focused otherwise, though, what changes would her shift in truth bring? In which Konoha's young jinchuuriki stumbles upon not a Hyuuga, but a Haruno.

starts when theyre babies!! little five year olds who deserve better (bby sakura id do anything for you.. :’() theyve got tiny crushes and theyre so cute i wanna cry about it. ino nd sakura stay friends (thank god) and GOD i want ppl to stop being mean to naruto :((

The Shadows Claim Us by Nine_Stoic_Crayolas

ship: gaasaku // words: 6586 // chapters: 39/? // updated: 4/21/18

"You don't want to go near that one." "Why?" "...She's damaged goods."

takes place in suna! (sakura is an iwa native!) (also i have.no idea how old they are. it’s mentioned at one point that sakura’s 4 but.. idk? if there?s time skips?? there’s just lots of bits that arent worded right for them to be 4 through the whole fic.. idk. gimme ur input actually idk if i wanna keep this) gaara takes a shining to her bc sakura also gets called a monster. bro these little gremlins are fucking pissed. imagine a toddler yelling “fuck!” at you but constantly. warning for general mistreatment of children and mentions of death and blood

Serendipity by stirringwinds

ship: none // words: 6751 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 10/24/18

Sasuke had never known Senju Hashirama in person, of course. But he had grown up hearing stories about the First Hokage at his mother’s knee—about the legend who had defeated the most powerful member of their own clan. Enough stories to recognise what he was seeing—and to know he was witnessing his teammate perform the impossible.

Or, in the fight against Gaara during Suna’s attempted invasion of Konoha, the Ichibi’s attempt to kill Sakura awakens an unexpected power. It changes the destiny of Team Seven forever.

MOKUTON SAKURA BABEYYY!!!!! largely sasuke’s pov. also they’re all stupid and it’s funny and i love them// im literally foaming at the mouth and excited to see where the story goes and im :pensive:

Warmth by PotatoeGoddess

ship: inosaku // words: 7135 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 4/7/18

Sakura Haruno was born screaming and kicking and in some ways, she felt, she kind of never stopped.

starts off pre/early academy days. sakura is full of strong emotions and same hat. there’s comphet and sakura has such a crush on ino. what a useless gay. that’s not really a focus in the story (more just consistently implied) honestly dont all together know whats going on! but that’s par for the course

What Happens After by stirringwinds

ship: narusasusaku // words: 8044 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 1/13/19

Sakura deals with her feelings once she can stop focusing on stopping the world from imploding. Just what exactly is her place in this world?

This is just a lot of Sakura can't deal with life right now.

set post series. lotta sakura introspection! she’s dealing with a lot of feelings of inferiority and emotions she doesnt acknowledge bc shes a disaster bi. i  actually cried bc her feelings towards her own self worth hit me with all kinds of feelings of catharsis. canon sakura really needs smthn like this. just a chance to recover :(.. warning for lots of poly ships if ur not into that

⭐Catharsis by pastanoodle

ship: none // words: 10198 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 8/16/17

Sakura isn’t the kind of person to survive past Genin. She wears pink, fights over boys, and can’t throw a Kunai to save her life. Which is why no one expects her to live very long. To Sakura, graduating from the academy is like a reality check. Being a shinobi is nothing close to how civilian romance novels make it seem. Sakura has always been terrible at stopping when she should. So she changes pink to grey, forces herself to ignore Sasuke, and learns how to shatter bones with a single punch. Screw surviving. Sakura knows she’s going to die, but she’ll go down fighting.

starts off a little before wave except!! the full wave arc never happens and everything changes!! inner becomes a substantial part of the story and im so glad for it. oh my god this fic is so good and i love all the author notes, theyre so delicious. sakura starts developing from a calm, quiet, and accepting girl. to a shinobi who is pissed off about the hand she was dealt with and goddammit! shes gonna do something about it!!! you fucking go, girl, live your dream of being in the bingo books i love you. this fic hasnt updated in a while and im so teary eyed about it, i hope it’s not being left unfinished. i refuse to put it under that category bc im stubborn and hopeful. warning for death and gore in the second chapter

Red With Clay, or Into Fire by grit

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 10420 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 11/4/18

Headstrong, carrying her heart on her sleeve: Sakura is a smart and driven child who will fight for what's hers.

Or: Sakura gets a personality, Naruto some friends and Sasuke a childhood.

starts off during their litle genin introductions.TEAM AS FAMILY Y’ALL ALREADY KNOW! sasuke actually likes his team basically from the get go??? and sakura just wants her team to workout and they do! theyre getting there!!! oof!!!!!!!!

Breathe and Heal by Himechiiii

ship: narusasusaku // words: 11535 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 1/6/18

Two months. Two months had passed since the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Two months and Sakura still hadn’t fully processed. Hadn’t fully healed. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I don’t know what my goal is supposed to be. You say that I’ve passed them, but it doesn’t feel like it. I close my eyes and all I see is their backs in front of me.”

Or in which Sakura realizes she is more than she thought she was, and lets herself be loved.

set post war. sakura gets well deserved time off of work to cope with things (and ino is real one :( please stop forgetting she’s her best friend) sakura loves her boys so much but god her inferiority complex makes me so sad

Promises by BombsAreForBabies

ship: none // words: 12376 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 10/29/18

It's her first kiss and Naruto's last. She promises him that she will bring Sasuke home. It's his dying wish, after all.

(Naruto bleeds out faster than the kyuubi can heal him.

Sakura learns that being a ninja is more than fancy jutsu and fun.

Sasuke does not know that he just killed his best friend and turned his most loyal comrade into his worst enemy.)

set after the first fight in the valley of the end. bamf sakura that deserves a break.. immediate warning for death :( kakashi and sakura connect in the aftermath and ino remains as the realest. sakura learns poisons from shizune!!!!! FINALLY!!! everyone cares about her a lot and that makes me happy but god can she PLEASE get a therapist

When I Grow Up I’ll Be An Avalanche (and i’ll grow up soon) by ulittuq

ship: none // words: 12900 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 12/10/18

A little civilian girl hears that genin are considered adults in the eyes of the law and she think yes please I need to get out--

The next week she starts the Academy.

Once a little civilian girl tells an orphan boy, God I wish I didn’t have parents, and she means it as a confession. A cry for help. The orphan boy hears selfishness spill from her mouth and snaps.

A little civilian girl, who has yet to see combat, wakes from nightmares gasping and clawing at her skin. No one notices.

au! naruto canon never gave us anything for sakura’s parent so fics like this own me! i like where theyre portrayed as abusive bc well canon doesnt disprove it! and projection. also. owns me inner also has more focus!! sakura just wants an out and she’s gonna do most anything to get there. also naruto love!! because he deserves it! warning for abuse (mentions of emotional and physical)  im super excited for more updates i like where the story is going!!

Mune Ga Hachikire Soude by clohsoo

ship: none // words: 15815 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 3/24/19

A deal is made between two devils and two girls share a demon.

HEY OP IF YOURE READING THIS: I LOVE YOU AND I SUPPORT YOU AND THIS IS SO GOOD TY FOR GIVING LOVE TO MY GIRL RIN,, au set mostly in rin's pov (i love the hobbies rin picks up, my little jack of all trades) danzo can still choke, sakura bby.. ily..:(((, ino is always amazing, and ANKO!! I LOVE YOU!!! OOF sakura's attempts at acting like a normal kid REALLY plucks at my heart strings// warning for child abuse bc root, death bc root, and trauma also.. bc root

⭐The Best-Looking Truth by Dovey

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 17378 // chapters: 6/? // updated: 1/7/19

Sakura doesn’t like to talk about her family. Most people assume it’s because she’s a nice young girl, and she doesn’t want to make everyone else feel bad, considering she’s on a team of orphans.

It has more to do with the fact that she killed her parents in self-defense and is desperately trying to cover up the murders, than any sympathy for her teammates- but she’s happy to let you assume what you want.

did that summary give you whiplash? because it absolutely made me collapse. set just before the bell test. also starts off pretty fucking strong. shes a traumatized kid trying to compartmentalize on her own while trying to make sure no one finds out about what she did. also she’s really smart in the way she’s dealing with the aftermath. really interesting (at least to me) is how despite her parents no longer having a direct hold on her life, she still abides by their rules. warning for (past) child abuse, murder, and occassionaly descriptive gore. godd i really want more (there’s narusaku and some sakura/oc but i dont think theyre permanent? the narusaku definitely isnt bc it was mostly an accident but im not sure abt the sakura/oc)

Control by Dragonist

ship: none // words: 17816 // chapters: 14/? // updated: 6/8/18

Kumo kidnaps a child of Konoha.

Sakura graduates from the academy only a year after starting it. There's a war going on, and she's obedient enough to stay quiet and follow orders.

Then the war ends, and it's unclear who is really giving them.

au (read notes for the changes) starts pre academy. bro??? theres a war going on and im stressed at how young she is when she graduates.. sai ily..warning for death, blood, and uh. bad medical practices

If I Live by Lalit

ship: none // words: 18344 // chapters: 9/? // updated: 8/21/18

Every action has a consequence. It took one girl to screw all of Orochimaru’s plans up, and nothing will ever be the same. “Look at you, such bloodlust. Darkness is a lovely shade on you, my dear.”

set during chunin exam. ANOTHER SAKURA GETS BIT INSTEAD OF SASUKE FIC. a little slow going in terms of timeline i guess? no timeskipping so far. love the relationship between team 7 here (esp that one scene w naruto. u did amazing sweetie!) warning for death and gore and also sexual undertones when orochimaru is there. he’s a creep and op sells it.

Black Hole Heart by LadyNyxRavus

ship: none // words: 20017 // chapters: 5/8 // updated: 2/18/19

By all accounts, Sakura is dead for the first five minutes of her life.

Yet, she continues. If she occasionally has too many, too sharp teeth then that's their business.

OKAY SO. im NOT a big of crossovers but HEAR ME OUT. sakura gets a symbiote in place of inner and she eats people and naruto is a little more feral and sasuke is the closest thing they have to handlers. warnings for cannibalism, blood, and gore. this is up there as one of the most self indulgent fics on here

Throwing a Stone in a River by theroadkillcafe

ship: none // words: 20221 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 9/7/18

When Sakura graduates from the academy, she suddenly finds her head invaded by the ghost of Uchiha Shisui. Her inner is gone, but not forgotten, and she struggles with impulse control more than ever before. But also, Shisui gives a lot of unsolicited advice - useful and otherwise - and does not shut the fuck up. He’s not thrilled about current events.

warning for immediate mentions of suicide and drowning (and implied eye gore) set just after they graduated from the academy. sakura’s got some fun mental things to deal with now that shes stuck w the ghost and seeing them kinda everywhere. have i mentioned that i love shisui? he’s really good and helps sakura out with gratuitous amounts of snark. warnings for more eye gore, blood, nightmares, and torture

If You Can't Hold on, Hold on by Fiercest

ship: sasusaku // words: 20780 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 12/4/18

Sakura always wished she could relate to her teammates better. She wishes she could take it back.

In which Sasuke acquires some unwanted roommates and a team becomes a family.

set post konoha crush. TEAM AS FAMILY!!! almost immediate warning for death :( gh// her team cares a lot abt her and want her to be okay and sasuke is making effort into being a source of support (he’s baby..) theyre all pretty traumatized (and god fucking awful at dealing with it) (not shippy at this point!)

⭐Find Your Place (Whatever it Takes) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 22296 // chapters: 11/? // updated: 12/28/18

The war lasts longer than in canon, and has only just ended. While most of the 'Konoha 12' are clan heirs and thus protected from having to go to war prematurely, Sakura is from a civilian family, with naturally advanced chakra control, and thus is thrown immediately onto the frontlines. Now she's on a genin team in peacetime, and she's struggling to figure out how to live when she's not constantly at risk of dying.

Team seven bonds in new weird ways, The Uchiha are actually all dead except for Sasuke (including war-hero itachi) who's got a chip on his shoulder the size of Konoha, Naruto isn't the kyuubi container and he finds Sakura kinda scary. Sakura would just like to have a hobby.

au. my girl deals with trauma and t7 learn to get along eventually (and unhealthily?) i love sakura’s war team a lot and they care abt each other a lot too and GOD i love shit that focuses on the advantages clan kids gets for being clan kids and especially for being heirs!! it’s just interesting as hell to read!! sakura fosters her hate and distrust for the state and GOD is that ever a good thing (kushina :(..) we’re in this shit for a REVOLUTION!! IM SO HYPE!!! warning for violence and mentions of death

⭐Building the Puzzle by ich_bin_ein_stern

ship: narusasusakusai // words: 22716 // chapters: 4/5 // updated: 8/27/18

In which Sakura feels disconnected after the 4th Shinobi War and decides to cut the string attaching her to Team Seven, if only for a few years. This does not settle well with the remaining members, past or present.

set post war. FULL POLY TEAM SEVEN BABY!!!!! there’s not a whole lot of content for poly7 that includes BOTH sai and sasuke. it’s usually one or the other which already puts this fic in my good graces uwu ino bby i love you so much they’re so tactile and close and it makes my heart melt and she cares abt sakura and wants them both to be okay. im indulging my need for a sakura who gets to travel!! she loves her team so much but she really needs to love herself first. the rest of her team learns to better themselves and it’s really nice to read. also GOD i say it often but sakura is so cool (esplecially vs the suna elders aa)

Moments of Perfection by kiwi_socks

ship: narusasusaku // words: 22880 // chapters: 6/? // updated: 5/9/18

It's a dream Sakura's had many times before. Until it is rudely interrupted by Naruto and Sasuke mistaking her kitchen window for the front door.

"Hey...we failed in so many ways before, do you think we'll get something right, or just screw up again?"

okay im NOT much of a fan of timetravel fics but everyone should know by now that poly team 7 actually owns me. theyre all stupid together (it’s solidarity). poor kakashi. there’s some fuckery happening!! perhaps i yelled WHAT!? at my phone at least once

⭐Kubikiribocho, My Love by IslitaBonita

ship: none // words: 23231 // chapters: 10/? // updated: 7/22/18

Where Sakura becomes better acquainted with Zabuza's sword, Kubikiribocho.

set mostly during wave. interesting bits of sakura vs herself. budding relationship between her and gaara (murder friends) the writing style is SUPER cool! blood, unhealthy attachment, impalement, and death. ugh! when will this fic come back from war

Believe Me When I Say I Cary All My Sins by Honestly Neptune (mypennameishidden)

ship: none // words: 24287 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 12/20/18

Sakura knew the best way to tear a man's spine out of his nose without breaking a sweat.

She didn't know how to live in a village with Minato as Hokage and the Uchiha clan as the beloved police force. She didn't know how to live as a disgraced genin in a bloody apartment with dead men knocking at her door.

She didn't know how to forgive herself for failing Konoha. Now she had a chance to save it.

au. SUCH cool take on the timetravel trope!! sakura is just angry and tired and she’s gonna make this timeline work so help her god. i love shisui and i love that he gets to be a main character here aa. warnings for blood and general violence

Dandelions Blow in Spring by capriicious

ship: none // words: 24507 // chapters: 13/? // updated: 11/25/18

sakura is in the land of waves, the seraphic, beautiful place filled with religious and cultural beliefs. her team mate is lying in front of her, dead, cold and so, so white. her sensei is bleeding out while fighting zabuza. naruto is fighting against the odds of hundred of senbons.

(or: sakura watches her team mates get beaten half to death and bleed out next to her when the fight ends and with that event set in her mind: realises that she's going to die unless she toughens up.)

au but starts off in wave during the fight w zabuza nd haku so immediate warning for blood, gore, death, and a bit of an unhinged mind bc it’s sakura pov and this is traumatic. i recommend reading the notes at the beginning of each chapter for trigger warnings. it’s a heavy fic. interesting bits about merchant business and the dark side of the village. only BARELY connected to canon. pretty much through characters alone, the whole story is different

Cut the Head off the Snake by itsthechocopuff

ship: none // words: 24601 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 1/2/19

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she’d had a childhood once already, and this time, she’s more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she’s done.

and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

IM MENTIONED IN THE NOTES?? UH HELLO I LOVE YOU. timetravel fic! war fesh sakura gets sent back into her pre academy self. sakura is gonna make shit work this time around and shes gonna go through root to do it! MOKUTON BABEY!!! it gets changed from a kekkai genkai to a learned skill based mostly on amazing chakra control (which my girl has in spades!!) SAI AND SHISUI BBY I LOVE YOU// im in love with shin now too and god damn it i want all of them to be okay :’( warning for death at the hand of trees, mentions of blood, and the massacre

Seeds of Knowledge by Ice_Eagle

ship: none // words: 24845 // chapters: 10/? // updated: 3/15/19

It starts with an Academy internship at the Konoha Library and Archives. The only problem is the Library/Archives has never had an intern before. Ever.

Everyone is an idiot at the beginning. There is always room to grow.

set during early academy days. first person pov and it switches from characters. i dont usually leans towards stories with lots of ocs (especially where theyre a major focus) BUT they’re all so interesting plus UM? i LOVE the detail put into the libraries aaa// sakura gets to live her strongest book nerd life. also im a huge fan of the concept of internships in shinobi villages and just of the adults caring abt the kids following them in their career choices. also sakura starts getting along with sasuke and it makes me super happy

Our Oath (We’re Expendable) by amako

ship: none // words: 27194 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 3/1/19

Apparently, Sakura is the last Haruno.

set post war, more during the recovery period. sakura gets to be part of a largely not well known clan with a secret that could put sakura’s life at risk if it got out. dont wanna spoil a lot but basically! she gets married and has to deal with clan things and letting other know

⭐If You Have the Hounds by dragonyfox

ship: narusasusaku // words: 31856 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 1/10/19

...go ahead and pursue.

can i just say.. this fic series really rips out my heart ..there were several parts i started tearing up at bc im tender and im baby! they all love each other more than anything and im crying just thinking about it. they literally built a whole fucking village because naruto is a mad man but his team loves him. literally they’re playing the longest con ever and it has me cackling. this is a hell of a fix it fic and it has me bawling itachi is really soft and team taka is there! (the way uzushio is described makes my heart swell w love im so proud of them)

These Bitter Weeds by Katlou303

ship: sasusaku // words: 33315 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 12/2/18

Sakura begged Sasuke to take her with him when he was leaving Konoha.

He said yes.

set when sasukes leaves. she somehow manages to convince him to let her join? her reasons are about as solid as they could be. in the first chapter you can definitely where it’s starting to change into unhealthy codependency. it really shows in this fic just how young they are.. all their ideals are fantastical and grandeur and it really drives a nail through my heart :( ino continues to be a real one, kakashi is going through it, and im reminded that i love kimi :(( warnings for violence, orochimaru and kabuto, and dismembered limbs. nothing shippy insofar, can be read as friendship

seek by cloverhoney

ship: sasusaku // words: 39062 // chapters: 12/? // updated: 1/15/19

Sakura disappears after taking a lifelong mission in exchange for Sasuke’s post-war acquittal. To give her the upper hand over her new targets and protect her from becoming a target herself, the world is told that Sakura is dead and gone - but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sakura quickly finds she is still not strong enough to face her new enemies, and she seeks power in Shikkotsu forest. Sasuke, suspicious of the circumstances surrounding her death, seeks the truth regarding her disappearance, reconnecting with his childhood friends along the way.

Kakashi, the new Rokudaime, promises to keep Sakura’s secret, but with Sasuke on his heels, a council hell-bent on erasing the evidence, and the guilt of an empty grave, nothing can stay hidden for long.

set post war/pre epilogue. TAGS SAY SAGE SAKURA BITCH!!! (AND MOKUTON BABEY) shes nice but dumb and thats just team 7 (shes their single brain cell.. how dare she :(((( ) fuck the council. fuck those elders. fuck blue lives mariah carey’s skinny. my only gripe is that shes written as having small chakra reserves nd low stamina and im like. hello? Absolutely Not. whatever parts her Legendary chakra control dont cover, her seal is still there. small reserves my ass. also taijutsu is Literally one of her specialties >:( this happens in fics so often and im *teeth gritting* (FUCK. ACTUALLY. SHE’S FRESH OUT OF THE WAR. SHES TOUGH AS SHIT BY THIS POINT. im angry and annoyed and sad!!!) lol read if you want though. there are some neat bits (like when theyre in shikkotsu forest) mentions of eye gore, death, and blood (t..tbh.. i ignored all the sasuke bits :V IM SORRY I ONLY THINK THE PARTS WITH SAKURA ARE INTERESTING)

How Team 7 Came to Be by spica_starson

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 40916 // chapters: 5/15 // updated: 10/22/18

What if: -Naruto had reached out to Sasuke earlier on? -Sakura never developed a crush on Sasuke? -The team isn't just a repeat of their predecessor?

What if Team 7 stayed together through thick and thin?

Or: If Team 7 was the focus of the series.

sakura isnt in the first chapter BUT she still gets to be a focal point because of course and the second chapter is dedicated to her. y’all already KNOW im soft for team as family fics!! they’re all best friends and care about each other a lot and im really weak okay. also kakashi loves his new kids. not a cliffhanger! so dont worry if you’re not up for waiting on an update or are like me and prefer reading finished fics! (there’s a separate spinoff one shot, not canon to the original fic, titled Alone set when naruto and sasuke fight on the roof)

Crow’s Disciple by Tobi_Black

ship: none // words: 42135 // chapters: 36/? // updated: 12/9/18

Sakura's just a child, a civilian, considered harmless. No one looks at the pink-haired little girl and sees the kunoichi, the shinobi, that she could become. They don't see the calculating glint in her eyes, nor the claws hidden. They don't see beyond the shy smile and tears. They don't see the loyal heart willing to give everything for those loved. Not yet.

starts off pre academy w sakura nd naruto both in the same orphanage. UGH MY GIRL IS SO SMART and this writing style lends itself so WELL to detail ghghgh// sakura’s bestfriends continue to be blondes and ino fosters a baby crush aa. SHISUI BBY ILY (and asuma gets to be a prominent figure in sakuras life which i hadnt read in a fic before) warnings for violence, death, blood

⭐Dangerous Habits (Dangerous Girl) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 44210 // chapters: 24/? // updated: 11/21/18

After the disasterous mission in Wave, Sakura returns to Konoha with a new drive: she wants to truly earn her spot on Team 7, and be able to protect her teammates. Unfortunately, nobody else seems to be willing to support her new goal, so she resorts to teaching herself: she decides her team needs a medic, and since she doesn’t have the connections or record to earn a place at the hospital, she practices on herself.

AKA the fic where sakura gets to be as dumb and have as little regard for her personal wellbeing as every other Naruto character, & teaches herself how to heal by inflicting & then fixing her own injuries. This deals both with some major changes to the plotline given her new skills, and the overall team dynamic.

starts post wave. sakura gets that kick in the ass to get better and do it fast and she gets to be as reckless as her teammates like she deserves! no one helps her initially but god DAMMIT if shes not gonna do something anyway (flexing her smarts!! shes such a genius and yeah it’s chaotic as hell in this fic but god if it isnt cool) she gets a VERY unhealthy addiction to pain and has to deal with generally negative feelings of self worth.. BUT finds a pal and a friend in gaara :) she gets close to her teammates (sasuke bby… :(((..) and friendly w tenten and tsunade and anko! chapter 12 has a scene w cool imagery// HEFTY (and pretty immediate bc it hits u in the first chapter) warnings for gore, death, self mutilation, misuse of organs (lol), blood, implications of sexual abuse (doesnt happen, the adults are just concerned that thats whats happening and not her. yknow. doing all of uh That)

Unbreakable Company by Shyaway95 and teslatempest

ship: sakura & kakashi // words: 44407 // chapters: 4/15 // updated: 2/5/19

Naruto and Sasuke were gone. Their Village had just begun recovering from the invasion, and every available shinobi was needed. Kakashi knew it was his duty to serve, to leap back into the darkness of ANBU at his Hokage’s command. It was only the thought of pink hair and desperate green eyes that made him pause. Would he abandon his last, remaining student?

He would as soon pluck out his right eye.

They were all that was left of Team Seven and Kakashi was going to make them unbreakable.

set after sasuke defects. HONESTLY kakashi actually doing smthn about his “people who abandon their teammates are worse than scum” saying that he likes to repeat is everything i couldve wanted. sakura deserves all the support in the world and this fic REALLY delivers. this is also a REALLY good fic if you like kakashi and want him to be happy about something. team seven as family is real!! could easily be read as a one shot if you dont wanna wait for updates or read a longer fic!

⭐Early Summer Rain by orlha

ship: none // words: 50063 // chapters: 14/15 // updated: 3/5/19

Having parents doesn’t always mean it’s a good thing and just because scars can’t be seen doesn’t mean they don’t exist. The Chuunin Exams leaves Sakura an orphan and she doesn’t cry.

set post konoha crush. immediate warning for death. sakura has been through a lot and kakashi is a sweetheart. he’s still pretty awkward but his heart is in the right place! god sakura i love you much :((((( shes got a lot of trauma and feelings of inadequacy and it hurts me. sasuke is angrier and naruto continues to be amazing (and i love him for giving sakura smthn to strive for) AND GENMA IS THERE! I LOVE YOU GENMAAA (AND SHIKA)!!! sakura gets praised for her chakra control and god does she deserve it. kakashi gets a clan! and sakura finds herself a family! and inner stays! listen. this shit has me SOBBING. she’s on the road to recovery and getting better everyday and my heart is WARM!! god im so happy this story has me happy stimming at some points ghuhg// warnings for child abuse, mentions of torture, attempted suicide, self harm, relapse, violence, blood, and mentions of eye trauma. there is an ongoing “sequel” with aus based in the early summer rain universe!

Learning Curve by ishiryoku

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 50529 // chapter: 5/? // updated: 1/14/19

This is the life she chose: the path of the shinobi. It's either roll with the punches or be left behind by her team—and Sakura's not about to let them go off on their own.

starts off during the end of the wave arc. i love the self analyzing in the first chapter and also that wake up call. in a better (more sakura loving) universe this is that turning point that we shouldve gotten :( ALSO CAN I JUST AAA!!! all the little times kakashi is there to reassure her make me wanna fucking BAWL plus this is THE team as family fic i’ve been needing in my life aa GOD sakura just loves her team so muuucccchhh// the tags say mokuton sakura and fuuinjutsu naruto but it’s not there yet! (also naruto get bit, yikes) warnings for lots of dissociation, death, self loathing, paranoia, and trauma

Satori (Between the Lines) by jaylene

ship: none // words: 50665 // chapters: 12/? // updated: 3/3/18

While attending the Academy, Sakura's field experience assignment with the Konohagakure Intelligence Division ends up being more valuable than she'd ever guess.

another fic w/ the concept of interns and adults fostering the growth of ninja kids before they graduate! my girl is constantly flexing her smarts and im so proud! (torune is just a baby who deserved better than canon gave him :() and GOD i love ino!! and so does sakura and she just loves her friends a lot and people in general bc her baby heart is so filled with love and OOF// the aburame are SO interesting im thankful for the focus they get (and the focus on ciphers and T&I and ibiki!) god theyre all kids. just little babies :((( warnings for bullying and manipulation (however unintentional, it doesnt negate the harm caused)

Ties That Bind; Break by Igot2peedou

ship: shikasaku // words: 50931 // chapters: 17/25 // updated: 8/25/18

She severs their ties, decidingly, not because of Sasuke. Well. Not for the reason Ino suspects (but Sakura never clarifies, and that is lying by omission. isn't it?)

~~~

Sakura Haruno can’t help but feel. Not only her emotions but other peoples emotions. She is always prone to crying and for good reason— she can’t shut others emotions and must deal with her own and those closest to her (relationship wise.) Because a painfully tragic incident involving her father’s murder Sakura can no longer handle her “gift” and does the only thing that will stop her suffering.

She commits social suicide, and lets her best friend think she ended their friendship over a boy. This is her story....

au. set when sakura starts her rivalry w ino. sakura can sense emotions??? warning for death mention in first chapter and wow okay thats a lot. sasuke is traumatized and it takes out sakura and oof! this story is so so interesting,, shes stumbling her way through figuring out how her small clan’s blood line(?) works (how it’s more of a hassle than anything) also it gives her a really good disposition to genjutsu which she tries to get better in (she also had an earth affinity plus all of team 7 have a petty rivalry going on) sakura has trauma and goes hard in the exams. warnings for blood, gore, disembowelment, dismemberment, animal and human abuse/death, the rivalry between t7 is baaaaadd,, also disorienting plot twist in chapter 16! 

Her Eyes Saw It All by ich_bin_ein_stern

ship: none // words: 63502 // chapters: 13/? // updated: 8/29/18

Sakura can’t recall much of the details regarding the mission in Wave, but what she does remember - there are scars left behind. The life she knows changes after this mission and, for better or worse, she accepts it and moves forward. She won’t allow herself to fall behind.

set during wave au. i love when characters continue to survive due to sheer instinct and pure stubborness. TEAM AS FAMILY!! theyre all so supportive of each other it makes my heart hurt (im soft serving it so hard. theyre SO nice to each other and theyre Actually friends and naruto and sasuke support sakura SO much it makes me cry) sncjf and the nara family is so fucking sweet also MOKUTON!! AND SHE HAS THREE AFFINITIES!!!!! (mokuton is changed here from a kekkei genkai to a learned skill tho) honestly it’s just what she deserves. also sakura is just SO level headed and smooth??? it’s really neat. warning for a healthy dose of death and gore in chp12, it picks up fast

In Death, Life by TeaFourTwo

ship: none // words: 136409 // chapters: 13/? // updated: 3/24/19

Only by reason of having died does one enter into life.

“Sakura. Just Sakura” Thats how they’d introduced her. She knew it was true, she was no longer a Haruno after all, but it didn’t stop the words from feeling like a dull knife in her side.

Or, Sakura goes to the Uchiha compound the night of the massacre and comes away an orphan with more questions than answers.

au starts when theyre babies!!! before ino nd sakura become rivals. baby sakura loves her friends a lot she didnt deserve that :((( super interesting bits tying sakura to the uzumaki?? sasuke.. :( .. sakura is traumatized and doesnt know who her family is and doesnt trust what people say to her (tenten is in the same orphanage as her! naruto too and i love him and i wanna personally hurt everyone who’s ever been mean to him) NARUTO AND SAKURA BEST FRIENDS!!! traitors are everywhere!! and the branch family get me feeling some type of way (can danzo choke.. fr…) the depth given to yin and yang chakra… ops mind…FUCK all the myths and spiritual stuff and how it’s all forgotten history?? UGH im in love/// (tsunade… mom..) warnings for the massacre, death, and blood

⭐Second Bite at the Cherry by Sakinthra

ship: none // words: 142249 // words: 41/? // updated: 3/25/19

There's been a storm brewing inside Sakura ever since Sasuke left to seek out Orochimaru, and the growing realization that she might not be half the shinobi her teammates are. She's always been the one that held back and let the boys finish the job, but it's clear she can't let herself be the weak one any longer. It's time to take her fate into her own hands...and it starts with breaking into a library.

set post sasuke rescue mission. i LOVE the introspection and worldbuilding im such a sucker for it// she gets to make rash and stupid decisions while still flexin her smarts and i am HERE for it!! she questions the state and adds skills to her arsenal (which is. tiny for a long time) shes smart and quick thinking but rash and impulsive so of course leaving the village and convincing ppl she went after sasuke is what she settles on (smh. her heart and heads in the right place bust smh) GAARA BBY I LOVE YOU SO VER MUCH (shukaku.....) (and fine.. i kinda love u too kakashi >:/) theyre a couple of dumb brats trying to help people (sai joins!!!!! his interactions w gaara especially are endearing) (hidan? is a prominent figure? i hate that hes one of my faves...... big fan of the depth given to his religion tho. it's super fascinating) BOIII NARUTO GETS DISILLUSIONED BY JIRAIYA AND GOES TO TSUNADE AND MY HEART IS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST/// naruto's choice makes me wanna cry and sasukes little intermissions are pretty funny and get interesting (i support u karin!!) theyre dumb kids stumbling into politics and ending up going on a quest to save the world? the way all the pieces shift into place.. how the wheels start turning... the rest of the nine getting involved... poetic cinema.....warnings for death, blood, and decapitation

⭐Five Petals by PrecariousSauce

ship: sasusaku // words: 143900 // chapters: 22/? // updated: 2/6/19

Several things happen all at once in less than a minute’s time.

Sakura’s elbow slams into Sasuke’s side from an angle he doesn’t anticipate, sending him tumbling end over end off the branch.

Sasuke rights himself just a second too late and without checking where he’s going to land– When he does his knee twists, he feels a lightning bolt of pain shoot from his sole to his head, his leg gives out.

And Orochimaru’s teeth sink down to the gum in Sakura’s shoulder.

starts during chunin exams. timeline is followed pretty closely. fic is mostly centered around sasuke and from his perspective but sakura has the most pivotal change (:(). sasuke is cute, sakura is so in over her head, and naruto is naruto. sasuke loves his team a lot :(( and GOD i love when the kids act like kids even though that reminder hurts. sasuke takes up healing!! how cool is that!! AND TSUNADE IS SO FUCKING COOL I LOVE HER!!! and danzo should choke fr..... AND GOD DO I LOVE THE KONOHA 12//// warning for orochimaru, violence, death, and blood

⭐Hoshigaki by writer168

ship: none // words: 168116 // chapters: 32/? // updated: 3/10/19

When Sakura was three, her father told her he was a criminal. When she was seven, the last thing she saw of him was the sword on his back. When she was eight, she had a friend named Kiba. When they were twelve, they met Shino.

And when they were genin, they began to fight for the truth because they could no longer fight for the sake of Konoha.

au. sakura is kisame’s kid! kakuzu.. kinda sucks, konan is alright, pein is really dramatic, and sasori nd orochimaru are awful as per usual. kisame is just doing what he can to be a good dad :((( sakura is real smart and kiba is great and so is shino!! (ily baby) theyre all bestfriends and theyre all a little weird and i love them so much :’) theyre all manipulative little shits and i love them for it (and i love you too naruto) kurenai’s team develops dangerously (really starts to show in chapter 18) honestly this writing style really knows how to keep me absolutely enthralled (hiruzen and danzo.. i’ll kill you with my bare hands) i love kurenai and i love how much she cares abt her team :’( tenzo baby.. be there for them (same at you kotetsu) kisame is a good dad okay!! im not changing my mind on that! orochimaru can choke!!!!! team 8 is a family and theyre ride or die bc theyre really in some deep shit!!! i need the state dismantled and my kids are gonna do great. (bro im so fucking weak for all the world building and symbolism, GOD this fic is written so fucking amazingly) warning for young pregnancy, death, blood, gore, child endangerment, human experimentation, and eye gore/horror

LEFT UNFINISHED

Dirty Family Secrets by orphan_account

ship: none // words: 1431 // chapters: 1/?

Post-Sasuke defection to Orochimaru.

Something feels off about Sakura's parents, but before she can question them about it, they're both gone. She came from a family of civilians, there is no way both her parents were traitors, right?

Kakashi's Apprentice by Right2nowthen

ship: narusasusaku // words: 3440 // chapters: 1/1

In which Kakashi and Sakura hit the road and everything changes.

The Cherry Blossom Blooms Twice by Right2nowthen

ship: none // words: 3666 // chapters: 1/1

Who or what is Inner Sakura? As the fate of the world hinges on this question, Sakura seeks answers...

Today I Choose Joy by Nine_Stoic_Crayolas

ship: none // words: words: 5867 // chapters: 4/? // updated: 8/11/17

Sakura can See certain things. A story about a little girl, a couple of red eyes and Death.

The Company of Trees by theroadkillcafe

ship: none // words: 22646 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 6/7/17

Sakura is bullied, a dead kekkei genkai is reborn, and things go a little bit...differently.

Haruno Sakura and the Heuristic Method by MoofieLou

ship: inosaku // words: 41986 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 6/22/17

The flower that blooms last may catch the wildest wind of them all.

Alternatively: Sakura graduates from the academy, buys herself some anmitsu to celebrate, and arrives home to find her mother being beaten bloody by a thief. Things are different after that.

--

A heuristic method (/hjᵿˈrɪstᵻk/; Ancient Greek: εὑρίσκω, "find" or "discover"), often called simply a heuristic, is any approach to problem solving, learning, or discovery that employs a practical method not guaranteed to be optimal or perfect, but sufficient for the immediate goals.

set when the kids graduate. op retconned ino nd sakura rivalry and im thankful they stay best friends warning for violence in chapter 2. theres smthn i love abt blinding panic turned into survival instinct. sakura is prone to anger and i LOVE it!! also her family is fleshed out!! i love sakura so so much shes really snarky and smart (and she becomes kakashis fave! oof!!!) ggg team 7 getting along fills me with icky gooey love/// warnings for violence and blood. this fic hasnt updated in such a long time but it’s so so good and im hurt it left on a cliffhanger :((

Tempest by cywsaphyre

ship: none // words: 45233 // chapters: 6/? // updated: 7/20/12

Back in time and armed with years of future knowledge, Sakura is ready to take the world by storm. Except... she's four again, not twelve. Ah well, nobody said she couldn't start a little early. Gen, time travel, AU, Sakuracentric.

time travel fic but she baby! also oh FUCK my heart is melting naruto is baby and sakura wants her boys to be happy this time :’( and also ino is baby and i love her. GOD theyre all four years old and babies and sasuke is so cute and my heart huuuurrtss :’((((( my baby girl is so smart and she loves strongly and theyre all little brats acting like kids and im soft (team 10 feelings..) (and sakura is Literally preventing a massacre bc she fucking rules) MY TEAM SEVEN LOVE MUSCLES ARE FLEXING!! warning for mentions of trauma, mentions of kidnapping, blood, and death. this fic hasnt updated since 2012 though like.. *incomprehensible*

A Lot of Fight Left in Me by Stormwind13

ship: none // words: 73814 // chapters: 12/? // updated: 10/29/17

Sasuke deserted the village. Naruto is being taken away for his own safety. Sakura is left with the broken remains of her team and a teacher that's barely in the village, but she'll find a way to make this work. She has to, because all those lectures about teamwork had to mean something. Didn't they?

this fic hasnt updated in a while but it's so good :((( team 7 is in shambles and sakura just wants a teacher and to get better (i love iruka...) OH! and i love how close the konoha 12 are:) i love the little worldbuildy bits that give depth to the village. theres lots of ocs and a mini uzushio (that sakuras a part of!!) it's super interesting but hasnt updated since 2017 and i checked and this fic was the most recently updated fic op has :((((( it's still a good length and a great read but leaves at a cliffhanger which isnt as bad if you stop at the last break. warning for violence

#naruto #naruto shippuden #sakura #sakura haruno #pro sakura haruno #pro sakura #sakura centric #sakura haruno fics #fic recs #post #lol @ all the tags i put on this #im literally so in love with sakura as a character like. this is a love letter #HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL

[firebuug]

ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!

pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen

buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.

team: 

- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)

- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)

- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)

- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)

- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)

- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)

i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse

team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)

- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)

-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)

- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)

- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)

- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)

gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.

team:

- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)

- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi) 

- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it

- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)

- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)

- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)

- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)

farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.

team:

- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)

- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)

- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)

- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)

- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)

- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)

skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money

team:

- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far) 

- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)

- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)

- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)

- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)

- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)

okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!

#shut up bug #rambles #LONG post #txt #ocs #buggy #gene #mendel #juggernaut #farrow twells #skuggy #pokemon #happy #i really love pokemon au!!!

[nenastrology]

you should rate the arcs. share your wisdom with us. (or rank them by craziness /wtf moments)

ok i think rating them is easier than ranking them i can add craziness as a category alright alright

ok this ended up being nightmarishly long so im just putting it all under the cut for anyone who feels like reading giant blocks of text on my opinions on every single naruto arc

land of waves - classic very good i genuinely wish there could have been more arcs like it to show team 7 really bonding and growing together before sasuke ends up feeling alienated its got a really sweet touching story and naruto and sasukes relationship starts off already at a pretty high level of crazy like oh yeah right out of the gate they are trying to die for each other this can only get crazier from here i would have probably liked it more if id read the manga first because the anime murders the pacing of the fights here but overall i do really like it

chuunin exams - i love lots of chunks of it but it did really feel like a slog to get through parts of the forest of death and a lot of the more minor fights because kishimotos really just not very good at writing fights that he doesnt put his absolute most effort into i really love how the anime added to the part where sasuke gets the curse mark and how naruto is separated from him its really emotional and strong sakura actually feels like shes trying to become a character here i love her fight with ino and cutting off her hair legendary and im not a monster gaara vs rock lee still makes me scream the craziness of this arc is actually finally not riding on sasuke being crazy finally gaaras carrying the craziness hello blood drinking 12 year old i hope you get better soon 

konoha crush since i guess its a different arc - ok i actually really love all the weird political stuff kinda added in here the hints at some actually interesting village conflict i wish thats what the ninja war arc could have built from and orochimarus definitely the most comprehensible villain in the story and i love naruto vs gaara so much like thats really peak and tbh extremely satisfying to watch the shitty old bitch hokage kick the bucket like killing gaaras evil dad and hiruzen really was the best thing orochimarus done finally gaara has more help with craziness cuz narutos losing his mind too and sasukes getting some crazy seeds planted for later craziness harvest

search for tsunade - i feel like i really like this arc but when i actually read it im like hmm theres all these parts i dont like but i really love all the character stuff itachis introduction is iconic and i really do love tsunade and her fighting orochimaru was like highlight of everything its weird i dont have a lot to say but i do actually like this arc a lot in a way im like not sure why craziness is kinda low except for sasuke whos absolutely losing his entire mind which stresses me out so much and this is where i start getting extremely sad about sasuke

sasuke recovery mission - 80% of it is the absolute worst part of part 1 and 20% of it is the absolute best part of part 1 like this is really where all the warning signs of quality dropping and like kishimotos lack of skill writing fights really really starts to show like really all those fights do is kill the emotional thread running from the hospital fight, sasukes goodbye to sakura and sasuke and narutos fight which are like the best things hes ever written the craziness is turned up as high as it can get the emotional stakes and pain and love are also so high this is peak naruto if we just pretend the fights against the sound 4 never happened just skip them

kazekage rescue mission - this is where all the omens from sasuke recovery mission and the quality drop really like finally start meaning something because really this arc SHOULD be good and its like really really good in certain places like any time naruto and gaara are talking thats just love right there and all those moments really make it almost worth it except that kishimoto really took such a nose dive on understanding how to pace fights the parts that dont have gaara and naruto gazing tenderly at each other feel like pulling teeth like sasori vs sakura really should be absolute peak and its got some truly fantastic moments but it just goes on for so long i feel like im gonna die before sasori ever does that fight could have given us womens rights and the craziness is really high like naruto is just losing his mind about gaara and sakura killed a man with her bare fists

tenchi bridge - oh the love its palpable here and so is the craziness like naruto going to 4 tails because orochimaru just says a few things about sasuke like wow and their whole reunion is so good the passion and weird emotional issues all coming to the surface i love yamato here hes a fun guy and i really like the new team 7 dynamics they are fun i like lots of parts of it but i cant think of anything else to say its what it says on the tin emotional sauske and naruto reunion

akatsuki suppression mission - alright full disclosure i fucking love this arc this arc is the reason i sometimes throw my brain right out of my head and start talking about how much i love shikamaru i prefer all the emotional moments in the anime a lot it felt very rushed in the manga and like that whole episode of team ten processing their grief was so good but god im so so mad that only shikamaru got to have a big important fight like ino and choji should have been helping equally and i really really hate the fight with kakuzu its just more badly paced bullshit for kakashi and naruto to get to be super op when this was supposed to be a bonding moment for team ten this is a little crazy but its team 10 crazy not team 7 crazy which means they are still pretty normal well adjusted people with brains in their heads who are just having a moment

itachi pursuit mission - sasuke killing orochimaru really was so incredibly perfect and forming taka? this arc is about gay rights uum its really short so i dont have the most thoughts but yeah sasukes like maybe at his least crazy until the end of the story like hes got a real concrete plan find gay friends and kill his brother but hes really got a big storm coming 

tale of jiraiya the gallant - i really do not like jiraiya all that much hes just boring and weird but i love the chunks of rain trio backstory we get they are really the last bit of complete villain characters we are gonna get very tragic idk the fight is like alright for this stage of naruto but it still lasts too long and pains powers still make no fucking sense and feel just too overpowered you know also zero crazy which is very disappointing all naruto arcs should have crazy

pain fight - ive got lots of conflicted feelings like the fights not very compelling at first because genuinely the pain bodies are just too strong its very weird and narutos got this big power up which is what it is i really love pain as a villain like hes literally right about everything hes saying but it has to be bizarrely undercut by just bonding awkwardly about jiraiya and yeah theres some very cool battle moments theres some good shit in there but long drawn out battles arent exactly my thing but naruto going 8 tails was still pretty fucking cool and god it was such a cop out that everyone came back to life at the end COWARD KISHIMOTO

kage summit - the one the only kage summit absolute peak craziness like sasuke trying to take down the entire world government thats absolutely iconic i love him for it so much narutos having his own melt down about sasuke sakuras decided she doesnt actually need a brain anymore and has also lost her whole fucking mind in the whirlwind of chaos like this arc feels like an anxiety attack at some points but god do i love it naruto and sasukes whole confrontation is absolutely peak ill bear the burden of your hatred and die with you?? the love the tragedy this is truly peak gay drama thats really like hes planning a lovers suicide and we are all just along for this crazy fucking ride love it

war arc - how did we go from kage summit to this like kage summit felt like it was maybe actually going somewhere but the quality drop is just like an elevator was cut and we are now all speeding to crash at rock bottom here what the fuck happened why was this written why is it literally 1/3 of all of naruto why has god abandoned us itachi and sasukes reunion was very good and needed i loved all the parts with hashirama and madara and really for one sweet moment it seemed like madara might just be a dumb sexy villain who just wrecks shit until all that spiraled down into garbage if i think about obito for too long i start to go crazy thats the real craziness of war arc is how fucking stupid it is and that is making everyone whos ever read or seen it go crazy right along with it

wiki is telling me the kaguya bit is its own arc so lets go with that - ok kaguya fight is pretty cool im into it to a certain extent her weird portal powers are fun i like that but thats really not what we are here for now are we no we are here for the conclusion to 15 years worth of crazy we are here for sasukes final massive lose his mind time and naruto to go right along with him the love and the tragedy but the hope it offers as well love was really invented by the second valley of the end fight and the anime said gay rights and made it the prettiest thing you will ever look at and also adding all the extra tender moments between them like this is it this is why you watch naruto you watch it all for this and god do we love it but wow the trying to be serious stuff about hokage really is so fucking stupid lets pretend that never happened 

wow i really just typed that all out shout out to u 2 loyal fans who read all this shit i guess it was only a matter of time before i wrote something this long and stupid see i do actually like naruto i feel like i couldnt really hit the balance of complaining or praising so idk it might sound more positive or more negative than i actually am but there are really some good parts yes i watched the whole war arc no you shouldnt

[iamsonyeondone]

heir!svt // lee seokmin

♥ fluffy and angst if you look at it under a microscope

♥ 1.5k words

the one word everyone associates with lee dokyeom: sunshine

this boy radiates like the actual fking sun and his smile oh gOd even the emos who wallow in the darkness cant surpress their happiness when they see him

he just has that amazing friendly aura that makes people's day happier

it's mainly because his family runs a high-tech farm where they cultivate fresh and high-quality produce

one of their important devices was a speaker

because hOo boi who knew strawberries liked to listen to Troublemaker iconic

and who ever visits their farm during a school trip or for picking fruits, may or may not have the chance to listen to the Prince sing to the blueberries

and its just the most wholesome sight ever

even though theres like weird equipment whirring and pumping in filtered water or something

you'll see this shining handsome boy, singing his favourite ballad while he checked on the equipment

and sometimes when it does a sudden weird noise, it shocks him so much that he does a typical slapstick comedy and slips onto his butt

but he brushes it off with a smile and little cute dance when he gets up

anD he is just. so. adorable

so everyone literally fawns over him everytime he passes by with that radiating smile

and the girls just swoon even more whil his hyungs want to make sure no o n e messes with him or they'll have to face them

since his family produces such top-notch quality fruits and vegetablez

they naturally get sponsored or help their fellow chefs and friends

and one of them is your father!!

your father runs this one michelin star restaurant by the sea and serves mostly seafood

but their dessert is as good as their secret special home-brewed eel soup i just made that up idk i want sushi

which your mother is in charge of!!

and their both friends of seokmin's parents so naturally, the both of you know each other

sometimes a little too much

"lee seokMIN stop telling the raspberries that i fell in front of the entire school or I'll tell them about how you fell into the toilet"

"thAT WAS ONE TIME"

yeah so the both of you are really close friends but its not surprising since seokmin is like a friend to everyone

and everyone knows that you're a part of seokmin's protection squad which jeonghan leads

"make sure everyone claps for him at the farm when he's done singing, got it?"

"aYe aYe cAptAin,"

so naturally you're always there for him

walking to class, walking back home together and eating lunch with him and your mutual friends

its not only because you're there to protect him but he's just such an amazing and nice guy to have around and his voice is like warm milk on a sleepless night and also because he looks amazing with that smile-

ok maybe you dont just see him as a friend,,, and probably mayhaps more

but who could blame you when an actual embodiment of rainbows and everything good in this world is your best friend

im very weak for this baby can you tell

everytime he saves your ass from embarrassing yourself bY embarrassing himself

or when he makes sure you've eaten all your three meals everyday and stays hydrated

yea he's a bit of a nagging mother but you reciprocate the care in return by ensuring that he's doing so well in choir and that everyone loves him for trying his very best in the extra curricular

like you even have to force him to spill your feelings towards you

because you KNOW this guy tenfs to surpress and bottle up his feelings and that is not healthy at all

talk to your friend/family if you're bottling it up too ❤

and seokmin makes sure he treats you with fresh berries from his garden whenever you come over

and you guys sometimes talk about everything and anything under the stars while snacking on those fruits and snacks your parents prepared for you and him when you drop by

and its all so pure and warm and being next to seokmin always has this welcoming aura that you never really sense with anyone else

not even when you have those crushes in your first few years of high school

and that was when you realize that you saw him more than just a best friend

on the other hand, seokmin has always admired you for your personality and how you're so caring to nearly everyone and especially him

oh my how his heart races whenever you look at him with those worried look in your eyes

or the way your voice turns so soft and calming to his ears when he's feeling down

wow look at this its the pining pals sorry for ending soft hours it will come back shortly

the both of you were walking to school, the usual routine:

you guys are sipping on your favourite drink, talking about the recent school rumors

and everything's normal,,, like nothing has changed

but it feels different some how

did your feelings for him grow too much?? did you no longer see him as your best friend?? or did you want to be more than just friends?

and you notice that seokmin doesnt have his arm around you like always

his absence of not clinging around you in the autumn breeze made it more chilling

and,, you just want him to hug you, even if it was a half-hearted side hug

but did your feelings get the best of you? does he know that you have feelings for him and is that one of the reasons for him being distant??

you werent ultimately sure but your last thought keeps lingering in your mind, taking attention away from the fact that you and seokmin had reached your class

"i guess we'll see each other at lunch! take care and focus in class alright?" he chuckled, ruffling your hair a little before jogging through the halls

what made his heart race wasnt his quick steps but the way you had looked towards him so innocently, that adorable look on your face being hard to wipe away from his mind

he had tried his best to keep a space between you, hoping that maybe the space would give him some time to think

but it was no use, his crush on you only grew

and he only thought about you for the rest of his classes

"yn, seokmin needed to clarify some things with his teacher so he'll be a little late to lunch. he asked me to forward the message, take care alright?" jeonghan smiles sweetly before he waves you goodbye to sit with joshua and seongcheol

was this another way for him to get rid of you in some way? no you shouldnt get ahead of yourself,, he's only being a hardworking student,, right?

ten minutes pass and seokmin rushes to your table with an apologetic look

"im so sorry yn, i wont be able to stay for lunch because i need to help some of the juniors from choir to find their costumes. but i brought some of the fruits from the farm for you to enjoy!! eat up okay? see you after school!"

and thats all you heard from him for the rest of the day

and once school had ended, he had given another hurried excuse that he had to attend a group project meeting and asked you to meet him at his farm instead

the both of you did hang our there quite often, but you werent sure if seokmin would even show up at this rate

but the little pinch of hope you had left made you walk straight to his farm

maybe,,, just maybe,, you were just overreacting

you sat by the bench outside the strawberry tent, nibbling on a bowl of berries his mother had given you for snacks

a few minutes pass and a figure comes running towards you

disheveled in his school uniform and,,, a bouquet?? in his hands??

seokmin huffs, stopping right in front of you while he clutched the bouquet to his chest gently

"i needed to stop by your parent's restaurant for a while,,, for this,"

and he shows you a bouquet of a variety of fruits, cut and scalped into flowers like an actual bouquet

and when your eyes trail back to his, and despite the panting and running he had done the second before,

he looked far more radiating than before

his eyes sparkled and his lips wouldnt budge from the wide grin it had plastered on his face

and it was all because he was looking at you

"i needed to make sure that your dad didn't mind me dating his child," he chuckled, taking your hand in his with so much care that it made you seem fragile

"so will you go out with me yn? your dad says its a-okay and that-"

you cut him off with a peck on his lips, eliciting unstoppable giggles from your lips as you hugged him tight

"you should have just given me the fruits as it is but you just had to go the extra mile,"

"anything for you, yn,"

a/n: i dont know why this took me so long to finish like i waited a whole week just to finish the ending in 10 minutes :| im an idiot but i hope you guys have a nice day/night ♥

#kpop #svt #imagine #scenario #fanfiction #writing #fanfic #seventeen #bulletpoint #lee seokmin #lee dokyeom #seokmin #dk #dokyeom #vocal unit #vu

[hcneymilkks]

NINE PERCENT Zhu Zhengting ‘A Dozen Letters’

In which the dreaded Valentine’s day arrives but instead of being left alone, Ying Yue has to track down her mystery guy.

PAIRING: Zhengting x Ying Yue (OC) 

SORT OF A SOCIAL MEDIA ONESHOT (texting and Instagram)

|YING YUE|

Snow crunched against my shoes, my breath exhaling out puffs of white smoke. It was so cold. Yet, my school didn't let us stay home. Stupid winter. Although it looks pretty, frost covering the tree branches bare of leaves, it didn't give me enough motivation to get out of my comfy warm bed.

But of course, my sister had to barge in and wake me up, yelling at me to drive her to school.

Sadly, both my parents took the two cars we had. Instead, I wrapped up my sister and walked her to school, her "boyfriend" meeting with her.

"Happy valentines day!" He yells. My sister giggles and hugs him. I roll my eyes and bid goodbye, not needing to stay here longer.

And now here I am, at the entrance of my school trying to take the excess snow off. Normally, I wouldn't care how the school looks, but today it made my stomach want to hurl. Bleh. Hearts here, red and pink there. This is the day I die.

I quickly text Ha Rin, crying inside.

Ying Yue

don't know where i am

theres too many hearts everywhere

i think i got sent to hell

send help

bitch where you and Eun Jung at

Ha Rin

Lmao

its only one day come on you can survive

we are at ur locker, come here

Ying Yue

im cryin

I walk quickly to my locker, trying to ignore all of the "Happy Valentines day" and couples sticking their tongues in each other's mouths.

I hate this day, I hate this.

Why?

Just bad memories.

Ying Yue

sksksk theres too many couples making out my poor eyes

Ha Rin

LOL hurry up then

I almost bump into a girl who then glared at me.

"Bitch." I mumbled

"Ying ying!" I turned around and saw Ha Rin and Eun Jung both holding....ugh.

"Awe are those stuffies for me? You shouldn't have." I playfully try to take it away but they both glare at me playfully.

"No, you know who this will be given to." Eun Jung says in a teasing tone while Ha Rin nods and laughs.

I shudder. "This is why I hate valentines day."

"Come on Ying Yue. it's only one day, it's not the end of the world." Eun Jung puts an arm around my shoulder. I shrug it off, going towards my locker to get my math book.

"But you both are leaving me for your boyfriends during my four-hour break. It is so the end of the world." I pout and try to open the lock with no avail.

"Ugh stupid lock."

Ha Rin and Eun Jung laugh. "Awe is little Ying Ying sad because she doesn't have a boy to cuddle?"

"Shut up. I don't need a man."

"That is true....but remember your other valentine's day attempts with your crushes. Both of them who I hate with my life but you do you boo." Eun Jung says.

I drop the lock and look at both of my friends. "We do not talk about that. I was too dumb in what I thought was love."

They both snickered. "Well no one told you to stick candies on their locker DUH!" They both say at the same time and I swear if murder wasn't illegal I would have buried their dead asses by now.

"Ohmygod what did I just say not to do!" I exclaim and open my locker a little bit too forcefully, I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek and involuntarily closed my eyes.

"What the fuck!?" I yelled, opening my eyes a moment later to see not one, but TWELVE LETTERS spill out of my locker.

The hallway was silent for a moment and I felt my cheeks burn. Oh, how I hated being the center of attention. Make it stop. The bell rang not a moment later and I clumsily picked up all of the letters, saying a quick goodbye before heading to the library for my first free period....hopefully alone.

|ZHENGTING|

"Okay calm down I'm just getting out of my car." I say into my phone, hearing coherent mumbles from the other side of the receiver. I grabbed my bag from the backseat and went into school.....of course, I locked my car.

"What was that Wenjun? I can't hear you." I say in a sing-song voice, always teasing him for his mumbles. Before I used to blame my hearing, I swear it keeps getting worse with me always blasting music to dance to. But after many times hearing him mumble, I realized it wasn't my hearing but it was just Wenjun's habit.

"-Hello? Zhengting are you still on?" I snap out of my trance and nod my head, mentally cursing because no one can hear a nod from a phone call.

"Yeah I'm still on. I'm inside the school now, where are you?"

"Going to my locker, meet me there before class starts?"

"Will do." I hang up and look around the school. Pink and red hearts everywhere. My student council can be so extra with these "holidays." I hum a little tune and turned the corner until I heard a voice that made my knees go weak.

Ying Yue.

Oh god, she's at her locker. Calm down Zhengting you just have to walk to Wenjun's locker that is beside her. You can do this. I take a deep breath and start to walk towards Wenjun, not until I tripped on my own shoe and almost fell. Curse my two left feet.

I didn't see Ying Yue look but I saw her friends did and I mentally cried. Great, I'm gonna get teased.

"Hey bro." Wenjun and I did a handshake and opened his locker. "So how was it falling for...you know." He points in the three girls direction and laughs.

I glare and tackle him down, not needing this first thing in the morning. "Can you just get your stuff and let's go? I don't need to be here any-" I heard yelling and looked at Ying Yue, locker open and letters on the ground. I blushed and looked away, recognizing that handwriting. The bell rang soon after and I felt a rush of cold wind pass by.

"Dude, just how many letters did you write to her?" Wenjun whispers and I tense up. I saw this post that this guy bought his girlfriend twelve roses and stated that if the last one died their love will die. Plot twist? The last rose was fake and that signified that their love will last forever.

"I may or may have written twelve letters." I said shyly.

"AND YOU STUCK IT IN HER LOCKER ALL AT THE SAME TIME!?!" Wenjun exclaims and I cover his mouth with my hand.

"Was that a bad idea?"

|YING YUE|

I sit down in the library and take deep breaths, never again I will run....psh just kidding I run away from everything.

I touch the area on my face where I felt a cut and I winced. I quickly put on a bandaid because I don't want to get an infection...duh. I then opened my math textbook, trying to finish yesterday's homework that I forgot at school. But I couldn't. I couldn't think of anything else but the letters. "Twelve letters? For me? It's not April fools day yet." I mumble, closing my math textbook and welcoming sleep for the remainder of the free period.

Well, no sleep came. My hands indistinctively went to my backpack and I found the twelve letters I dumped in there haphazardly. I picked a random one and looked to see who it was addressed to.

"My love? What the hell?"

I opened the letter and admired the handwriting. For some reason, I recognized it from somewhere. There's no way Zhengting wrote this. I thought. He doesn't see me other than a little sister.

Yes, Zhengting and I go way back. Meaning the cliche neighbours to this day. The cliche spending time at each other's houses cuddling and talking about everything. The cliche friendly "I love you's" and "I miss you's." I laughed softly at the vast memories. It was as if a switch turned on in my brain and I stopped spending a lot of time with Zhengting. Why?

I love him.

I tried to distract myself with other crushes, trying to make myself noticeable to them with yes, putting candies on their lockers for valentines day. Only one noticed but rejected me.

I later knew it was so stupid. I was blinded by artificial love and wanting to get rid of feelings for Zhengting.

I looked at the letter.

'Ying Yue,

You probably ran away when you saw all of the letters fall from your lockers, I know you hate the attention. So instead of giving you twelve roses because I'm literally so shy, I'm giving you twelve letters (which you could make it into paper roses but idk.)

Where do I start....the first time we met. Now I don't want to give too much away but we were pretty close in our childhood.

You've grown into a wonderful, beautiful human being I mean girl. When you first walked into the doors of this year I swear you got even prettier.

Since I only have twelve letters because I didn't want to bombard you with more, I will compliment you twelve times...maybe even more if you let me.

Number one, your laugh, your sincere one. I love hearing it. It was one of the reasons why I fell in love with you. Yes Yue, you read it right. I'm deeply and terribly in love with you and I can never get you off my mind.

Ps. I'm closer than you think *winks*'

I put down the letter and look around, trying to see if I can spot anyone. There were only girls here. Does this mean he's in my classes?

|ZHENGTING|

I smile when I see her look around. Thank god she can't see me from here. I go back doing my own work, hoping she will read the rest.

I know, so cliche. But it's really scary confessing to someone who has been in your life for so long.

immediately I hear a loud thud and I jump out of fright. God damn why is everything so scary? Taking out one earphone I look to where the sound came from and lo and behold, I make eye contact with a fallen Ying Yue.

Shit.

|YING YUE|

"Oh shit I'm gonna be late for my next class." I hurriedly pack my things, mutter a small apology for the person who wrote those letters, for they will be crushed yet again by the suffering and anxiety of what is called school books.

I stood up, but somehow the next moment the chair that I sat on fell along with me beside it. Damn me for being so clumsy.

Not only was the library more silent than before, but I also made eye contact with the last person I wanted to see. Not when I had my speculations.

Zhu Zhengting.

I quickly looked away, flustered and embarrassed. I ran once more. Let's hope from all this running I'm doing today is going to make me lose weight.

Why do you do this to me Zhu Zhengting?

***

My media studies class was pretty interesting to say the least, but for some reason, I have a project to do.....it's photography?

"Well happy valentine's day to all. I didn't expect to bring this project up so suddenly." My teacher explained.

"For the past month, we have been looking at social media and how it affects our daily lives. Normally, we only want people to see the bright, happy sides. Or either, we repost other people's photos without permission and claim it as our own. Now, what does this all have to do with the project? I will be asking each of you to either clear your own Instagram profiles and start fresh or create a new Instagram profile. This will be a week-long project. I not only want you to add your happy moments but your sad ones. I want to see not only cute pictures of the sky but also your homework. I want to see your daily life in pictures. So like a daily blog."

Everyone starts to groan but the teacher silences us. "Oh come on class. It's not like you all are already not glued to your phones twenty-four seven. It's worth thirty percent of your grade so I expect some effort. For extra marks you can write a journal on one specific photo and why it's special to you."

"I wish I dropped this class already." someone mumbles beside me but I completely ignore it, already knowing what to do.

50 likes

@ying.yang - aight @person who left me twelve letters in my locker. Who u and wat u want wit me?

5 comments

@e.jung - A SECRET ADMIRER!?! IS IT *********?

@ying.yang - @e.jung ShUt uP

@haharin - @e.jung oof it's totally him

@ying.yang - @haharin SHUT UP

|ZHENGTING|

Shit.

My eyes went wide during lunch.

"Wenjun did you see Ying Yue's post?" I show him my phone and he looks at the photo.

"Damn ting why don't you ever write me notes like that?" he pouts and I smack him on the arm.

"You don't deserve any...not when you cheated on me with Quanzhe!"

Wenjun laughs. "But no seriously you should tell her today that you like her. You have History class with her right?"

I nod.

"You still have them?"

I nod again.

"Good. I have a plan."

200 likes

@tingting - maybe today will be the day where I can finally give you flowers in person

20 comments

@yellowturnip.justin - eh?

@byewenjun - oh you are so confessing to her today...im tired of seeing you sulk about how youre too much of a chicken to do it

@tingting - @byebyewenjun sksksks sHUT UP

@fanchangechange - wait, Zhengting only knows one girl...does that mean????

@tingting - @fanchangechange I LIKE UR SISTER NOW SHUT UP

@quanzhieeee - @tingting @fanchangechange THATS A LIE  

|YING YUE|

I fiddle with my pen, hoping something exciting happens during the week or else I will be posting sky photos and my song playlist which is all over the place. I mean I guess I could write a reflection on my music, but what's the point?

I wait for History class to start, wanting more than to just go home.

Music in my ears, I sketch a human figure, pouting when one side is different than the other.

A tap on my shoulder.  That one tap made me lose my focus and snap back into the dreaded reality. I now know what photo I should post next.

I take out my headphones and turn around, looking at the familiar boy. Again? The second time I have seen him today.

"Is anyone sitting here?" he asks and I shake my head no immediately. He places his backpack on his desk and sits down, closing his eyes.

I look at him for a moment and then shake my head, trying to go back to my sketch.

"Why are you shaking your head?" I hear the person beside me say. He opens one eye and looks at me from the side.

"Nothing. It's stupid."

"Okay then. I wanted to ask you a question. "

I turn my body and look at him. "Shoot."

He opens his other eye. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"W-what?"

"The picture you posted on Instagram, who's the lucky guy?"

Shoot.

"Oh that? I have uh no idea." I'm sorta wishing, hoping it is you.

Zhengting nods and the teacher walks in, signalling the start of History class.

***

My eyes feel heavy, and the teacher's monotone voice does not help one bit. I peek a little to my right and see Zhengting taking notes like a good student. Meanwhile, my notes are filled with sketches.

70 likes

@ying.yang - oops

10 comments

@haharin - wtf listen in class

@ying.yang - @haharin i cant im gonna fall asleep soon

@e.jung - tsk tsk

@ying.yang - @e.jung @haharin WILL BOTH OF YOU LET ME LIVE!?!

I didn't even know the bell rang until I looked around and saw people packing their bags, getting ready to go home. I quickly stuffed my phone in my pocket, standing up to pack my bag until I saw a piece of paper hurriedly folded on my desk.

'Ying Yue,

Meet me at the field if you wanna know who I am'

My heart started pounding for no reason. What if this was a prank? What if this note was left for someone else? Well actually it did say my name but the chills ran down my spine. I shook my head and went along with it, stopping by my locker to bring my Physics textbook with me to hit the person if needed.

***

The closer I get to the field, the farther away I am from the crowds of people.  I stop at what looks like the middle, plot my stuff on the ground and wait.

"Wenjun I told you that you shouldn't have gone to the washroom right now, look, Ying Yue, is already here."

"Ting calm down, just go up to her and say I love you or whatever."

My ears perk up at the familiar voice, but the other voice speaking says something that makes me freeze.

Wait, does that mean?

"Ying Yue."

I turn around and look at Zhengting.

"It's you?" I say, cringing at how I sounded so blunt.

He rubs the nape of his neck and laughs awkwardly. "Suprise?"

I giggle and smile. "I'm glad it's you."

250 likes

@tingting - smile brighter than the sun. My love

30 comments

@yellowturnip.justin - oH!?! IT WAS YING YUE THIS WHOLE TIME!?!

@fanchangechange - cute

@quanzhieeee - I ship

@byewenjun - freaking finally. thought you were going to die alone

@tingting - @byewenjun TAKE THAT BACK

@ying.yang - sksks LMAO @byewenjun

100 likes

@ying.yang - i guess something good did happen after all. im glad its you

30 comments

@tingting - ily

@ying.yang - ily2 loser

@e.jung - @haharin have we been replaced?

@haharin - @e.jung I think so :(

@ying.yang - @e.jung @haharin shut up you guys. you were the ones who left me in the first place!

MASTERLIST

#nine percent #zhu zhengting #jung jung #hwang minghao #hwang justin #fan chengcheng #li quanzhe #bi wenjun #c-pop #oneshot #valentines day #social media #letters #nex7 #nex7 oneshot #nex7 yehua

[anotherfandomok]

Interactive Introverts Richmond Summary! (Part 1 bc rambling)

Ok. My experience and a general summary. I'm gonna do my best I couldn't believe it was happening, before, after, or during it, and now I can't believe it happened. So.

I didn't get ready way too early this time! I loved my outfit it was so cute, and I drew whiskers on my wrist and my cousin did too :). I went over to my cousin's, and my aunt drove us to my uncle's office in Richmond. He took us to II it was so awesome of him. I was flipping out.

We got there and took pics with the signs and stuff I was vibrating and bouncing and shit I was so excited. We lined up and got in doors opened at six and it was a lot of little short lines so we got in really quickly. Immediately I wanted to go downstairs for merch.

We got in the merch line and like really like ahead in the line I was so proud of getting there so fast.

And I saw the like stand up thing background for the m&g?????? So I was like um wtf are they actually right there like thirty feet away from me? So I was watching it and had my phone ready to video. I SAW PHIL LESTER WITH MY OWN EYES LEAN FORWARD AND HUG SOMEONE. y'all you don't understand his hair is SO. BLACK. like it actually shocked me how black it was I guess it doesn't translate.

But anyway they had the last few people do the m&g, and then they left and Dan waved really quick and we all cheered and I GOT A VIDEO OF THEM AKFNDJSFBWJD.

Also, fan project tonight super cute just a pic of Virginia that said "VA LOVES YOU" I didn't know about it until I got there, but someone handed me a stack and asked me to pass them out and I was like um hell yes so I did that.

Anyway, we moved forward in the merch line and yo the line got so long I was so happy we went straight there omg. The merch setup was like really good! Very efficient they had a long table and everything up with prices and stuff it was so well set up and the guy who helped me was super nice.

I got both short sleeved shirts and the long sleeved shirt, as well as a hat and a poster, and my cousin got the hoodie, a poster, and the marble shirt. Cute as hell! It went really smoothly and quickly it was awesome and we just got right through.

We went to the bathroom and it had a lil ledge so we folded and organized our stuff and then went to the bathroom. Tbh the bathrooms there were REALLY nice, and not crowded at all when I went! The theatre itself was so nice you guys like I can't even believe how nice it was it was so fancy like pretty carpeted soft stairs and everything was so ornate and detailed and pretty. Just omg.

Anyway! Then we went and stood by the front doors for a bit and I handed out signs (if you saw me in the lacy white shirt and black shorts with short blond hair aye!). We sat in balconey D, so we went up (a LOT of stairs) and found our seats!

Seriously I can't overstate how gorgeous and amazing this theatre was so fancy with super soft seats and good room like it was so pretty and it had a ton of like Egyptian stuff on the walls omg it was so cool. Y'all. The set was GORGEOUS. Like the lights and the background and just. Wow. I felt so close even though we were the highest up, because everything was very stacked. We really weren't that far away even though we were towards the back like I could see the stage really well.

The set is so gorgeous wow. And I just jammed to all the songs on the preshow playlist it was so amazing I couldn't believe it was real.

Also Dan's Siri came on like twice and was like hi there's really nice merch downstairs and Dan left me to look at memes and stuff, and told us not to film bc iPads are bad lmao. (I filmed anyway don't arrest me).

Everyone FLIPPED SHIT when Welcome To The Black Parade came on oh my god it was so loud and amazing. The lights dimmed and off we went.

They opened with the really adorable video being projected omg my heart and then they rode in dramatically with their steam and everyone LOST THEIR SHIT it was amazing the crowd was so loud all night.

Phil read the Richmond Wikipedia page apparently (wow, nerd) lmao and talked about the rat basketball team. They literally mentioned the rat basketball team like at least six times throughout the show tonight y'all I'm.

Dan said shooketh at something at the beginning and I don't remember what it was but like djfndjsdbrb. Also he did the Naruto run the first time he ran off stage, and we all sCREAMED.

They did a smol duet of A Whole New World which I now know was inspired by the venue - it was so great though and Dan was like that's not what you want trust me it would start off good but it would quickly become horrible. It sounded really good though like I love them they should sing more.

I hadn't seen any spoilers about the beginning! They talked about what an introvert is and asked the introverts and extroverts in the room to cheer sjfbwjsj.

Dan had a six second challenge to pretend to be a llama sitnfndntkejr he pranced and did a noise we all DIED and then he was like "-NO!" it was hilarious sjfndjsnebd.

The segment about what they weren't gonna do had me shook I nearly died. "Please be gentle with the handcuffs; I have sensitive skin" IM DEAD.

Also when they went to walk up and pretend to strip and then they RIPPED OFF THEIR SHIRTS TO REVEAL IDENTICAL SHIRTS UNDERNEATH YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK.

We were all really sad about the puppies so Phil said we'd get to see more puppies later in the show and we all screamed and Dan said if you're gonna promise puppies you better follow through.

When they offered to let people touch their hair I was like sjgbdjdbdjabfsn. Pastel personas skgbsjfkekfje??? They put on flower crowns and brought stuffed animals up to the front of the stage wow my heart.

They were like we're not gonna bring up a whole bunch of other YouTubers - because we have no friends and no one replied to our messages.

I can't remember for shit, but the whole beginning segment was just amazing. When they finished talking about how the show was interactive they were like "so that's why now we're going to make one of you stand up at random!!!!!!!" And they shined all the lights up and for a second it was chaos and then they were like kidding kidding we're just kidding and Phil was like your faces were priceless and Dan was like okay you can tell who the introverts and extroverts are the introverts are like crawling into a ball in their seats like "DONT PICK ME" I've never seen 3000 people curl up into a ball before. It was terrifying but also amazing!

Truth bombs! Honestly, I thought they were gonna do all the ones from the website, but they only did one each.

Phil's torture confession would be being bathed in cheese (Dan talked about if that included scrubbing, or if it included scrubbing under flaps y'all I was so done oh my god), but other options were mouth noises in headphones in his ears (to which Dan then did HORRIBLE and horribly loud mouth noises into his mic oh my god it was the worst thing my ears have ever heard ajtbcjejgsj *vomits* he said "not the asmr you came to hear, sorry") and ??? (Help I forgot)

Dan dreams about Nick Jonas in a fursuit at night ("the two things I lease wanted to hear right now, combined), but other options were a dark abyss ("no that's what I see when I look in the mirror") and a one direction reunion.

They would die from "Bees?" But other options were Dan falling out of the gaming chair and taking Phil down with him, and burning down the flat after setting a fire during a baking video gone horribly wrong (both of the runner ups they said were extremely realistic and plausible and they were like are you guys surprised we aren't dead yet we were all like yah). Dan was like where are the bees going to come from???? THAT FLAP keep you eyes on it.

We're real people with free will so you can't just make us do whatever you want, BUT we have made a simulation with a tiny Dan and Phil where you choose what they would do in completely normal, everyday situations that we experience in real life. Remember, tiny Dan and Phil still have emotions and can feel shame and guilt, so this is our test to see if you are responsible enough to be in control during this show - please do what you would actually want us to do if you were controlling us in real life.

Simulation! They have been working on this since they were FETUSES. Not babies, fetuses they were up in their mom's bellies with laptops editing this, and they spent billions of pounds and thousands of Richmond dollars (idk why they said Richmond dollars so many times during the show but sjtbsjdjd it was cute) on it.

Phil first he went to Barstucks (the simulations didn't want to get sued) and got a unicorn death frappe, with lots of sugar so he was vibrating, and he accidentally tweeted a picture of him in his underwear. Shirtless Satan appears and we all cheered for Satan they were concerned and Phil sold his soul to Satan to take the pic down bc he dropped his phone in his drink lmao. SATAN TAKES HIM TO HELL AND THERES DEMON DAN AND HE HAS A POTATO AND HE POTATO PRESSES PHIL TO DEATH FOR ETERNITY. then Phil was like "I still remember the feeling of a wet potato being pressed to my back" I was like sjbsjsjdsj ew.

Dan talked to the furry in the park and went to a furry rave (didn't show him the good Shiba Inu memes he had) and did body shots off of an otter and entered the ladydoor and slipped on the floor and died in his slothbear fursuit. Lmao rip (I'd already heard that ending though). Dan said the show was officially demonitized, and also said "there was an attempt" after people cheered for the good option lmao.

At the end they were like what a waste of all our billions of dollars and all the time spent editing as fetuses.

At the end of the simulation Phil talked about it being like a mob mentality and Dan compared it to fandoms and how if you like something and everyone else seems to have the same reason for liking it or whatever, the people who it especially means some thing to, their voices can get lost. And that's what this show is all about giving the people what they want and getting all the voices and stuff. Fandoms are often seen as one collective unit but you can't expect them all to want the same thing because they're all made up of very different individuals. Etc. It was good.

Our collective name was Kevin. We did a coordinated clap ("the asmr you do want to hear") it was the coolest fucking thing ever ajrnejfnej to build the hive mind. Then we chose a breed of dog for them to get "they just want us to get a dog Phil that's all they want" and Phil led it he was like I think I can get everyone to think the same thing, and we chose Fluffy the very terrifying Chihuahua it was so cool how they did it and that was the one I got so yay! They asked who didn't get fluffy and then they were like "that's okay that just means you aren't part of Kevin... YET." And then they just kept saying how we needed to get inside Kevin and stuff it was like okay wow.

Then we had the WHATS UNDER DANS BED. First of all that box is fucking hilarious, and I think Dan mentioned Phil just wanting an excuse to use props lmao. They explained it and then Phil brought out the audience participation balls "Phil has three balls." Okay. But they really emphasized how if you didn't want it you could just throw it to someone who did like they were so nice and understanding about it and when the music stopped Phil asked and made sure everyone who had one wanted it :). Also they were like keep the answers like amazingphil channel okay keep it PG. But it was actually a really cool concept and the lights went rainbow when they were throwing them around, which I LOVED! The three answers were an anthill but the ants are tiny dogs, a fursuit made of maltesers, and "I think he's trolling us and it's empty"/nothing. Y'all Phil was like has anyone seen a key under their seat and Dan was like wait what are we talking about wait no no I have the key akfnfjejd. They opened it, got the silver tube, opened that and got the scroll, and then they were like this has been in the tube in the locked box on the stage the whole time how could it possibly say what three random members of the audience said, and then they SLOWLY UNROLLED IT AND IT SAID TINY DOG ANTHILL, FURSUIT, AND NOTHING YALL I WAS SHOOK OUT OF MY MIND LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HAVE MADE THE SHOW WAS MAGIC AND THEY JUST DID THAT OH MY GOD. I'm still shook about it.

Then Phil took the banner and tore it up into like three or four big pieces and was like okay guys tear it up and pass it around tear and share I was so shook I was like oh my god I want a piece of that banner but obviously I was balconey, so they were ripping off pieces and passing it around and Dan and Phil were like omg it's like the walking dead down there "oh my gosh... That is.. violent." I was so shook that they did that like that was so nice and good like snejdbdabfbo.

Survey! Dan dabbed when he said statistics and Phil was like don't dab to statistics and Dan dabbed again and was like math *dab* there was so much unnecessary dabbing it was wow. Phil likes to use props and costumes so the brought out the glasses and clipboards YALL THEM IN GLASSES IN REAL LIFE 😭. Phil read the options for the audience participation one really dramatically and Dan was like "Phil wrote all the answers to these questions obviously" to which Phil replied "I wanted to make them spicy." 68% like audience participation, sixty some feel like they really know Dan and Phil (8% said who are Dan and Phil and Dan was like where do you think you are Shrek the musical? It was so good. I think Phil said maybe that's the parents. Incredible.) (Unnecessary third option bc Phil wanted to see what would happen - it used the middle screen) 40% like the sims the best, but pinof had 36%. Ditl had 16%, and baking and crafts both had four. They ROASTED the four percent who love crafts lmao it was great. (They spent the whole tour budget on the pie chart for the video series lmao it was FANCY) Sixty percent of people whlant Dan and Phil to give the people what Dan and Phil want, so I was really proud of us and Dan seemed surprised and happy about it he said Augusta was like ninty percent what the people want lmao.

ONE FINAL QUESTION WE ASKED YOU DAN OR PHIL BUT THATS TOO EASY NO WE ASKED YOU WHO WOULD YOU SACRIFICE BUT DAN NO ONES REALLY GOING TO BE SACRIFICED RIGHT THIS IS JUST A QUESTION ON A SURVEY IN A STAGE SHOW "I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT ABOUT DAN AND PHIL THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES... RIGHT?"

SUPER DRAMATIC SACRIFICE DAN OR PHIL "YOU MIGHT SAY I CANT CHOOSE TOO BAD THE WORLD IS FULL OF HARD DECISIONS ONE OF US WILL BE STRAPPED TO THIS WHEEL" PHIL SAID "ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE PUT IN MORTAL DANGER RIGHT NOW" AND THEN THEY BOTH JUMPED ONTO THE PLATFORM WITH THE WHEEL AND RODE IT BACKWARDS AND THEN INTERMISSION HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE SO DRAMATIC AND EXTRA OH MY GOD IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I'm forgetting so much but I'm gonna do this in two parts. Intermission seemed to come so quickly! It was at almost eight forty. Intermission was cool I stood up and stretched my legs bc as soon as I sat down my left leg fell asleep and it's still fucked up the. Some more jams though, and the last song they play was The Final Countdown lmao.

Quick note they are both so beautiful ??? Like?? I couldn't stop staring at their fucking legs oh my god and Dan's knees with his ripped jeans help. Also, I was mesmerised by the way Phil walks? And the way he runs and skips and does little jumps and shit? Like it's actually really graceful his legs are So Long and I'm just obsessed with watching him walk around omg. In summary - Legs ™

Edit: I totally forgot about the airhorn during Truth Bombs ajgbfjrnfsiej it was WILD Phil kept playing with it and pressing buttons to make noises before we even started doing Dan's, and Dan was like omg stop but we were all cheering because obviously it was amazing and Dan was like don't cheer when he does that you're encouraging him and we just cheered louder. (Phil also stroked the airhorn remote - the number of times some variation of the word stroke was said tonight..... So much)

At some point during the beginning they talked about why everyone loves the sims bc you can make people and make them do whatever you want and Phil was like like put a hundred sims in a swimming pool and remove the ladders and watch them drown slowly and I used to do that a lot as a kid does that say something and Dan was like that would explain a lot actually (I swear to God he said that phrase about Phil like three or four times throughout the show like wow). And Phil was like you could also make them woohoo with a skeleton or an alien and HE THRUSTED TO EMPHASIZE HIS POINT I WAS LIKE JESUS FUCK STOP PLEASE.

#richmond ii #interactive introverts #dan and phil #dnp #ii #ii spoilers #interactive introverts spoilers #dan howell #amazingphil #july 12th 2018 #altria theater #future #probably edit this