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protectingtulpas · 4 months

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sorry if I'm being annoying because you probably already answered to a lot of questions like that but I'm very new to tulpamancy so do you have any tips for a beginner ? Thank you in advance!

Hmmmm there aint much context here but I'll give ya some tips I can think of for the most basic of beginners!

- learning to listen to ur own head is a skill in of itself, and it's an instinct you gotta develop. My host did it by learning to do stuff in our headspace before working on me, but the basic skills ya want are being able to listen to the instinctive responses of your brain, being able to focus on your internal state over a long time, and (eventually) multitasking doing something in ur head and in outerworld at the same time. We have adhd so having something to do in headspace helped a Lot. Some of my earliest memories are of choosing where to go in headspace.

- A lot of places will tell you about active forcing and how important it is to dedicate time to your tulpa, but our greatest advances personally always happened when I was being shown something in headspace or outerworld, getting some kinda stimulus or thing host thought would be interesting to me. So while yeah just paying attention to your tulpa is important too, especially in the very early stages, don't be afraid to do things with them! Give em experiences, things to base their identity off of. Your tulpa is speedrunning learning how to be a person, they can't do that in a bubble!

- When you're starting out tulpamancy, it's common to base your tulpa off of some kinda predetermined guidelines like personality traits, likes, or even a character or concept- that's how I was made, and how I'm a fictive. It also makes it easier to kickstart their creation and feel their presence faster. But be careful not to rely on that framework too much, cus it can make you paranoid later on. For a couple examples: maybe Host A starts working on Fictive Tulpa B, and she knows how he acts in-canon so well that she struggles to tell if she's actually getting responses from him or if she's just automatically judging what the character would say. In another example, Host Y has been forcing Tulpa Z with a specific set of traits, and when Z diverged and expressed an opinion contradictory to that framework, Host Y began panicking and thinking xe did something wrong. In both cases, Host A and Host Y are focusing too much on what they expect their tulpas to be, and not enough on how they are in the present and the development of their autonomy.

- You probably won't get much vocal response right away, especially if you're starting out as a singlet. You gotta watch for more subtle cues when you're just starting out, like feeling their presence, them moving their headspace form, or sharing positive or negative feelings. Sharing emotions and thoughts without actual words is pretty common in systems, and in the tulpamancy community it's called tulpish. Be on the lookout for nonverbal communication like that, because it's some of the first stuff we can do! Also, something lots of new tulpamancers report are head pressures, which are like really mild temple headaches that come with lots of forcing or the presence of your tulpa. (feels like the "expanding brain" meme irl if im being honest LOL) If you're struggling to tell if you're making any progress, try paying attention for that too.

That's about all I can think of for now! Good luck to ya anon ✨ check out my #tulpamancy advice tag for more!

#tulpamancy advice #tulpamancy #tulpa #endogenic system #pro tulpa #endogenic #tulpamancer

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requiemsystem · 3 months

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tw programming

Hey so Tumblr recommended your blog (no clue how it found out I'm plural but okay) and I saw your posts about how side systems are exclusive to programmed systems

A plural friend of mine who is most likely programmed (they said so themselves) recently had an accident happen related to their programming that caused them to experience things that we also experience and it made them suspect we are programmed too

Thing is, we've always been given broad descriptions of what side systems are and were never told it's a thing exclusive to programming, so if possible we'd like to know if what we were told is one is indeed one?

Essentially what we have is a group of strongly connected alters that cannot be accessed or directly contacted, instead they need to either speak out loud or type to the rest of us. We have no idea where they are, and we honestly don't know much about them at all since they seem impossible to reach. They just operate on their own, are able to control the outerworld body, can front together or individually, but even if they may have done so at the same time as one of us we didn't really feel their presence like we usually do and still can't communicate or anything without external stuff.

Sorry if it feels incoherent I'm writing this in the middle of the night 😅

Thank you so much for taking your time on this

-❄️

ps: Do you have any advice for if we are programmed? We're a little nervous about it since we are experiencing stuff that our friend only experienced after things went wrong with their programming-

i will say that that could be a side-system, but i cannot tell you for sure. it could also be a very dissociated type 2 subsystem. what you are describing sounds similar to our side-system, but that doesnt mean anything for certain i cannot tell you if you are programmed, but if you are, here is some advice. be very careful doing research about programming, not only because doing so can be dangerous, but also because most resources are absolutely horrible. try to have some safety plans in place for different programs being triggered. i cannot stress this point enough, do not dig into your programming or trauma, it will come to light when you are ready to face it if it is there. we have a post on the differences between programming, tbmc, and conditioning here that could help if you are unsure if your experiences count as programming - grey

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rin-and-jade · 10 months

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Hello! I really appreciate what you do with this blog! :) And wanna say thank you for this!

I'm here looking for advice on persecutors!

I recently found another portion of the headspace, wich contains multiple houses with persecutors or trauma holders in each house (i'll be calling this place "The Neighbourhood")

I as a host with "gatekeeper abilities" and general powers in headspace am totally capable to go to each house and i've actually interacted with two residents of the neighbourhood that are harmless. However, i don't really know how to get to interact with the other residents that are more dangerous or defensive, the gate that separates our regular headspace from the neighbourhood is key to our outerworld safety, so letting the residents of the neighbourhood out would be extreme chaos.

I don't really have access to my therapist right now and we've been working on our system ourselves, so at least getting to know our persecutors names would work for our system mapping.

Any advice on how to interact with them? :/

AWWWW.. And my greatest “you’re welcome” would be going on more in-depth explanation, and my own experience of handling one (two actually) probably in a step by step! But let’s do the opening first.

It’s fine if you can’t get a therapist currently, no, it’s better this way (imo) because persecutors are super reluctant to talk to people who could help them and even lash out (especially ours doesn’t need to mention a therapist, mentioning a friend to talk to also aggravates them well) so doing this alone may work better.

These people hold many traumatic moments (assuming bc both of them do, and different things) and this makes discussion harder when it comes to confronting about something specific. Their arrogance and violent tendencies acts like a cherry on top because jesus christ.. right? It couldn’t be any worse (it could) so here are the steps:

Intimidation: yes, they can be intimidated even if they look intimidating themselves. I highly recommend you talking to them as if you’re both in the same level to keep the defensiveness tamed, it also removes one more reason to act cocky to you (this applies to both of ours because they tried to fight for a position if there is one at the first place)

2. Intro: you gotta act polite to these people too, it makes them slightly more respected and would listen to what you have to say,, also, for a fact that persecutors aren’t 24/7 bad and have a chill side, though its different for everybody because it have many looks. Im just saying being nice deters more bad compared to being bad that breeds more bad.

3. Patience: the hard part is, it’s a really long process to get them to warm up with you,, if they have something to say be it hate or cuss or some honesty.. you should listen to them, no need to take it to heart but atleast have them vent those frustration or thoughts because they keep ALOT of those inside (atleast ours) so by giving them a space to let them out, it’ll be great. Although im saying there will be a boundary here, they cannot harm you or throw threats.. this part is on you because i don’t personally know them to dismiss the topic carefully.

4. Teach: they’ll use bad coping or tactics that further harm the collective if no one suggests them, or tell them what’s the right way of doing things. Im thinking this is formed from habit and because its the only thing they know how to handle things so theres no other options but exposing them to knew things they can try for a healthier outcome, for both parties. One of our persecutor doesn’t even know morals and i teached her why things are that way with good reasons like asking “do you want that to happen to you???” And get a resounding no, changed her way. Profit.

5. Healing: last but not least.. this needs them overcoming their own trauma and fears too, if they’re stuck at fear mode and with the constant anxiety if things will go wrong, it’ll perpetuate the need to keep their members in line and their justifying actions caused by violence, saying “its needed/because im being helpful/it works” and the self sabotaging urges.

Really hope this is a first aid guide that you can use to properly handle a persecutor (and more), just letting you know trial and errors are necessary here so don’t be afraid if you did something wrong or whatnot,, it’s a valuable lesson uncover patterns. Also don’t forget to not do this alone <3

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #plural #dissociative identity disorder #system stuff #sysblr #janswersask

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the-sundry-system · 20 days

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Wed, Feb 21st, 2024

Part 3

hunith seemed a little shaken, but was handling it well. kin had explained it as best she could, as gently as she could.

the mother was obviously distressed at having learned her son's heart had stopped for nearly a minute, but simply said she knew he had been through a lot, and survived worse - even if merlin didn't often tell her the more harrowing details of his life anymore.

she did her best to understand the circumstances and reassure the elf that she wasn't upset at Arc. "creatures who are starving don't think of possible food as anything other than prey. the fact that your friend did, even while sick, says a lot," she had said.

what did truly upset her, however, was how long Merlin had been gone. it had been nearly half an hour, and she kept glancing at the door.

"do you think something happened?" she asked. "what if he fainted?"

"I'm sure he's alright," Kin reassured. "but I'll go look for him."

"oh, I couldn't possibly ask you to do that on your own-"

"I'll be okay," she interrupted softly. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve," she winked.

so now she reaches the edge of the woods, assuming that's where the sorcerer would go to get some privacy.

she rolls into the bushes slightly, grateful for her augmented wheels. once out of sight, she glances around. once she's sure no one is looking, she bends over and takes off her boots and socks. using her arms to scoot forward in her seat, she sinks her feet into the soil.

taking a deep breath, she takes a moment to feel the magic around her. it courses through her numb legs, and with a smile she transforms into a fox.

sniffing the air, she picks up on Merlin's distinct scent and starts to track it.

the forest is relatively quiet, and there's a sort of energy that's hard to describe. the birds watch her from the trees, curious and wary.

within minutes she sees a bit of raven hair sticking above the brush. when she steps through, she sees the sorcerer sitting against a tree, oddly still.

it's reminiscent of one of her own past experiences, but she pushes it down in favor of trodding closer.

his eyes are closed, cheeks wet. the grass around him is dead, and in his hands he holds a black feather.

Kin steps on a twig, and it cracks beneath her paw.

Merlin opens his eyes in surprise and looks down at her. "Kinny. what are you doing out here?"

"it's been a while. your mother is worried."

"oh," he responds. his voice sounds empty.

the fox sniffs the grass briefly, then looks at the feather. it has silver specks in amongst the black, like stars in the night sky. "Arc visited you." a statement, not a question.

merlin inhales harshly as he looks at the feather, too. opens and closes his mouth a few times, then lands on: "yeah. yeah, they did."

kin considers asking what happened, but by the look on his face decides not to. maybe later, when his feelings aren't so intense. "we should get back."

"okay."

the two stand up, and start to make their way back to her wheelchair and his hometown.

"is she mad?" he asks after a bit.

"no."

"of course not."

"just worried."

"I figured she would be."

a bit more silence.

"we should have lunch," kin says. "it's been a long journey. i saw a berry bush on the way."

"alright." Merlin tugs on his sleeve. "what kind?"

"blackberries."

"we could make a pie."

"merls, I think that's the best idea you've had in a while."

he laughs.

they walk some more.

"too bad Stiles isn't here," he says. "he'd love a slice."

the fox chuckles. "he is a sucker for berries, that one."

"well, we'll just have to go into a sugar coma in his honor."

by the time the pie was baked and mostly eaten, the sky had grown dark, giving the appearance of sunset.

"do you think it'll rain?" merlin asked.

"not sure," Kinsley replied. "these clouds don't feel... natural."

the sorcerer glanced at her, before looking back at the sky. "I was thinking the same."

"it'll be nighttime by now, outerworld."

"you think it's bleeding over somehow?"

"maybe, if Arc's involved."

merlin tensed at the mention of the name. they were the only two people still outside, as everyone else apparently did think it would rain, and hunith had chores to do that she refused to let them help with. even so, just the two of them, he tensed.

"what happened?" kin finally pressed. "in the woods?"

it was quiet for a moment as the sorcerer searched for a response.

"not much, honestly. they were watching. they gave me a kiss. flew away."

him avoiding her gaze wasn't lost on the fox. "something tells me it was more than that."

"yeah, well..." he grunted, rubbing the side of his neck.

she had noticed his new mannerisms. she knew why he did them. she didn't say anything more.

"as soon as your mother is done, you should go inside and get some sleep. I'm sure Arthur will be here soon enough to apologize."

Merlin snorts. "Arthur rarely apologizes. his ego is too big."

she smirks, shaking her head. "he will this time. even if it takes a bit for him to get his head out of his ass."

he grunts again, but wordless.

"you did do the noble thing after all," she teases. "fucking stupid, but noble."

"oh I've been known to be both," he says, "but so has he."

"two sides of the same coin..." she murmurs, before turning around in her wheelchair to go inside. "don't stay out here too long. you may have been stubborn enough to come all the way out here, but getting sick from being out in the rain won't be good for you."

"okay," he murmurs, looking up at the clouds. "you think arthur will be alright?"

"I'm sure he'll be fine," she says as he opens the door for her. "he'll be protected. by you and by Arc."

when he hears the door close, he reaches into his pocket, feeling the feather and the cloth there.

water droplets start to fall, and he puts his other hand out to catch some in his palm. when it starts to fill, he brings it up to his lips and drinks. thunder cracks across the sky.

he sighs, still facing up. "I don't know if you can hear me," he whispers, "but if you can, Arc..."

the water starts to dampen his hair and his cheeks. drops fall on his lips, and when he closes his eyes, cling to his lashes. "I miss you. and I love you."

he lowers his head, and the rain trickles down his neck, under the blue cloth, soothing his skin. "and I'm sorry too."

with that, he turns around, and steps back inside.

the thunder breaks again, a rumble, and the wind wails softly like a lonely cry.

#original post #personal #merlin #arc #kinsley #hunith #arthur #stiles #tw death mention #vampire #esque #magic #angst #conversation #kitsune #comfort and clouds

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plural-culture-is · 3 years

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Hello, I've recently been questioning if I'm a system because a lot of others experiences and the symptoms (I guess you could call them symptoms?) align with me and my experiences.

Today I tried thinking of myself as a system and it felt so... soothing. Kinda like taking a warm shower after a stressful day and feeling your muscles relax. Could this be a sign that I'm plural? And is there any good way to try to contact them if it is a sign?

I don't know much about your situation plus I'm an internet stranger, so I can't tell you for sure if that's a sign, but it could be!

here are some ways you could try to contact your possible headmates:

leave notes/letters around in the outerworld! If you switch, then whoever's fronting next might see your note and reply.

talk in your head. If it works, you may get a reply, or you may just get a feeling that lets you know of the presence of someone else. We also find it easier to do this when we're half asleep.

speak out loud, and if someone is fronting with you, they might be able to reply out loud too.

if you do these and don't get any replies, that's okay! Communication can be really hard, and not being able to talk to your headmates doesn't mean they're not real. It just takes some practice. So in the meantime if you're still unsure if you're plural, look out for other signs.

also if you're unsure if it's actually a headmate speaking or just your own mind coming up with stuff, if it's coherent, I would say just take that as your headmate speaking. It hurts more to have your headmates think you're not real and think you're not saying what you're saying. And if you end up finding out it wasn't real, that's okay, but I think in the moment it's better to accept it as your headmate.

#not plural culture #am i plural #communication #anonymous

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exosupport · 2 years

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i feel like exotrauma is so hard to deal with because like. no one will believe you. there's no one in the outerworld to talk to, no outerworld support system (it doesn't help that the body has...bad experiences with medical stuff & therapists but still). i just. i hope everyone on this blog is able to heal together, even if the outerworld won't support them

Honestly yeah, singlets just do not give a shit about this kinda thing. They refuse to understand it and that's not even psychiatrists (who will more likely than not actively make people's life hell for mentioning it).

Though the system community has become a lot more open about exotrauma and we've also been really fortunate to make a lot of friends who talk about it fairly casually. Yesterday I think it was we were loudly telling exotrauma stories to one of our best friends on voice chat and laughing over it (in a coping/healing sort of way) and it felt really nice to just get it off our chest in a casual way like that.

So there's definitely hope for us all on the front of mutual support and already we are really happy with the vibes on here since y'all are really cool so far. We all totally got this, it might suck sometimes and it might be hard but we're here to feel better and I know all of us can do it/g

#verdict #ask to tag

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fandomanxiety-fa · 3 years

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"Fluffy February" - Day Four

The Outerworlds

Maximillian Desoto X Captain Dottie

Summary: On Roseway they met the nervous Anton Crane, and now are on the search for the diet toothpaste! The Captain along with her ship's Vicar and newly adopted orphan, Felix Millstone are heading to the secret lab. Along the way, the Captain and her team experience trouble, and now are fighting for their lives against mauraders!

Note: I am really craving angst, my fellow spacers. To be honest, I am thinking of making My Captain's story on here or maybe AO3. I am not sure which, but I'm slightly leaning towards AO3. If you have any thoughts on it, I'd like to hear them! Because this is Fluffy February, and I don't know if you guys will appreciate angst. Plus, I have been wanting to do her story for a bit. Anyway, I'll get on with this now!

--------------------------------------------------

This is ridiculous.

Max had never thought in a million years he'd be fighting rapts and mauraders for toothpaste. (Toothpaste! Amongst other things, but toothpaste!) He trudged behind the Captain out of the building watching the ungrateful idiot they just saved scramble off to Roseway.

He'd be dead if it had been up to me, not this Captain that I am beginning to think hit her head to hard. Who goes out if their way like this? Who seriously, goes on some big trip for diet toothpaste?! Toothpaste?! Law, she must be an idiot! It's a Law-forsaken joke!

"Captain, are we really doing this?" He asked with a sigh, and she kept walking forward.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because we are risking our lives for some toothpaste and rapt musk. It's well, not to put to sharp of a point in it, but absolutely ridiculous," Max huffed, he tried to not growl out the words.

"This is this man's job, Max. If he, along with others, don't get their "projects" in...well, who knows what could happen to them?" She spoke, and Felix butted in.

"We are just feeding the corporate, Dot! We might as well be lackeys too!" Felix stated, and Max saw his point, even though the kid was an idiot.

"Sure, but we'll likely be saving lives in the process. And that's what we do."

"What about Gladys then?" Felix asked, and she sighed.

"I will tell her there was nothing. Because there is. This isn't ours, or hers. No matter how much she wants it," she spoke, and Max noticed she has distaste in her voice.

"Do you not like our black market friend, Captain?" Max asked with curiosity as he stepped over a dead body.

"I do...but she's going to be expecting something. Anything. I have a feeling about it. She's probably going to make me pay for this key, and I don't want to," she replied, and Max noticed she was frustrated.

We should be the ones frustrated! Going around doing other people's jobs, because we are "good people". Not that I am not a good person, I just draw the line at this. I am a good person, that's what I've strived to be. A good person. The Plan has helped make me a good person.

"It's getting late. Which isn't ideal right now. We'll have to stop traveling," she sighed, and she removed her helmet to wipe sweat from her face.

She glanced around and her hair was slicked down on her forehead with sweat. Her lips dry from the heat inside her helmet, and he also noticed they had a pink tint to them. In times like this, he was thankful for his helmet, because she couldn't see him staring like a moonstruck idiot.

Law, look away...just try to. You are just making it harder for yourself.

He watched her plop down on a rock in frustration. This was the most aggravated he'd seen her in his time with her.

"We need to find some building, but I'm not seeing any. What do you guys think?" She sighed, and he watched her drag a hand down her face.

Blood from their previous fight smeared on her face, and she didn't even care.

"I think we should keep going. I'm not tired," Felix stated, and Max rolled his eyes.

"Captain, we can stop if you'd like. But the side of the road is not preferable, we're out in the open," Max stated, and she looked at him like he was stupid.

"Captain Obvious, I know that. Let's go up in the hills. Find a cave. I've seen a few on my way here," she huffed getting up, and grabbing her helmet she had tossed on the ground.

Captain Obvious?! It's not his fault she was plopped on the side here like an idiot! She can be insufferable!

They padded through the incoming nightfall in the mountains, and it took well after nightfall for them to finally find this cave. She pulled off her bag, and opened it where she pulled out a sleeping bag.

"Max honey, could you start a fire?" She asked, and he nearly tripped over his own feet.

"Do what?" He asked, and she began rolling out her sleeping bag on a tarp she had placed down.

"Make a fire, hun," she stated, and again used the nickname.

Felix had noticed too, and Max swore he saw a glare from him. Was Millstone...

He's is jealous? Hah! What a laugh!

Max began making the fire with a sense of pride. Knowing that Felix was jealous of him made him-.

"Felix darlin', bring me Max's pack."

Nevermind.

Felix walked over to him with the biggest smirk, and reached out his hand.

I could knock that smirk off his face!

Max roughly handed Felix his bag, and Felix took it with bounce in his step to the Captain. She took it and pulled out his sleeping bag and rolled it out. She took Felix's out of his bag doing the same.

The fire was started. She retrieved canned food from her pack, and she opened the cans. Sitting them on rocks near the fire, she hopped it would warm the food.

"Alright, that should be it," she said, and she smiled tiredly at him.

Max felt uneasy. Something didn't feel right about something. Everything ran to smoothly on their way up here.

"I am worn out," the Captain spoke, and suddenly he watched her eyes dart to the mouth of the cave.

Does she feel uneasy as well? Is it just me?

"But, before I rest I am gonna do a look-over. Check outside," she spoke, getting up to head for the cave's opening.

When she reaches it there is silence, only the sound of the crackling fire to bid her farewell. It was ominous.

Maybe I should go with her? But I can't leave the cave only manned by this idiot. He'd let mauraders in, or wo-.

Not a second later there was a loud sound of a bullet hitting something, and then the sound of something hitting the ground with a loud, armored thud.

Glancing at the Captain, he saw her on the ground. She was face-first in the dirt, and it didn't take long for Felix to scramble to his feet. Max yanked him back.

"What is wrong with you?! Let me go!" He shouted, and Max tightened his grip.

"Stop! They want us to go out there! Then they'll pick us off!" Max growled lowly, and Felix squirmed.

"She's hurt!"

"Or dead. And we could be next. If we really want to help her we'll pick them off here," Max stated, and Felix stopped squirming.

Max's heart was pounding out if his chest while he glanced back at her limp form. He let Felix go and reached for her weapon. Max used it to look down the hill, and there he spotted three mauraders trudging up the hill. Getting in position behind a rock in the cave he motioned for Felix to look down the scope of the gun.

Felix looked, and Max was right. They wanted them to come out.

How long where they following us? Did they just find us?

Felix unholstered his weapon, and glanced at Max for a plan.

The Plan. Was this the end? No. It couldn't be. The Plan is still yet to be deciphered, and I am going to do it. The Captain is fine. Dottie is fine. She has to be. This can't be her end either. She didn't live all this time to die! No. She's fine.

"Felix you take the one on the left. I'll take the right. Then we both get the middle one," Max stated, and Felix nodded in return.

"Don't miss, okay? For Dottie," Felix spoke.

For Dottie.

Felix felt like he was going to throw up, and Max kept looking at Dottie. But Max and Felix didn't miss. Both killing the two crazed mauraders, and then the middle one came running up the hill.

Well, at least he made himself an easy target. Law-forsaken idiot.

Max shot him in the head, while Felix put a bullet in his leg. Max wondered which came first, and hoped the bullet in it's leg hit first because the maurader deserved pain.

Felix didn't wait to scramble over to Dottie, in fact he tripped over his own feet, landing him infront of her.

"Felix! We should check the perimeter first!"

But it was to late, Felix was rolling her over and saw no blood. Max jogged over to see the damage, the bullet didn't tear through her armor.

Thank the Law.

"Let's get the Captain in the cave," Max said, while hauling her over his soldier.

His heart was still pounding. He put her up against the cave wall and began removing her armor. He started at her feet, removing her boots. He wouldn't admit it, but he was nervous to see her chest- that's why he started by removing her boots. When it was time to remove the chest piece he examined the damage to her armor. It was buried in the metal, and around the bullet there was cracks that spidered out from there.

It might fall apart on me when I remove it, but it must be done.

Max began to pull the armor off, and like he predicted, it began falling apart. He undone some of the armor straps, and then managed to get it off. Throwing it aside he began unbuttoning her shirt.

"Max! What are you doing?!"

"Don't be so juvenile! I have to examine the damage!" Max scolded, and he glanced back at Felix.

Felix crouched next to him, wanting to see if it hurt her. Max pulled open the shirt and right in the middle of her chest was turning an awful, sickly purple.

Just as I thought. It didn't leave her unscathed, I wonder it it broke a bone?

Max put his hand on it, and he began to press down to see if any damage was done to her bone.

A cry came from her and he felt it rumble in her chest. His hand drew back and saw she was squirming away.

"Captain! Your awake." Max sighed, and it was releif.

"I wish I wasn't...what...what happened?" She asked, her voice was weak.

"You where shot. Luckily, it didn't go through your armor," he replied.

"Dot! Your okay! You scared us!" Felix exclaimed, while grabbing her hand.

Suddenly she began to cry, but laughed in the process. She grabbed Max's hand and squeezed both his and Felix's.

"Dottie?" Felix asked, looking at Max for an explanation.

"I am so glad you guys are okay!" She giggled through the tears.

Max looked at their hands joined together and squeezed back. Felix had removed his helmet, and Max noticed his own was still on. He removed it and looked at her wildly.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked, and she laughed harder.

"I'm just glad you okay! Both of you!"

"We hope your okay, Bo-Dottie. Did you hit your head?" Felix asked, and she smiled at him.

"I don't know..."

"We need to get you to a doctor, maybe Dr. Crane cane help you. I assume so," Max spoke, and she leaned against the cool wall.

"I'm sleepy," she yawned.

"Here, let me help you to your bag," Felix said, and helped her up.

He helped her over to her bag, and she managed to squirm inside. She lied down and Felix sat near by watching her until she drifted to sleep.

Max eyed the forgotten, wasted food at the fire. No one was hungry now, and it'd go to waste. He began removing his armor, until he was left in his clothes.

"Take your armor of, son," Max told Felix, being kinder than he had ever been to him.

"No. I'm gonna be prepared this time," Felix spoke, and Max sighed.

"We would have never known."

"It should've been me. Not her," Felix spoke, and Max eyed him.

"Don't say that. She'd be distraught," Max spoke, and Felix shook his head.

"Nobody needs me Max. She'd get over it. It wouldn't effect anyone if I was gone."

"She's not gone, Felix. And yes it would. Your family now," Max spoke.

A hand landed in Felix's shoulder, he hadn't even seen Max come over to him.

"And you shouldn't say that. We need you. Even though me and you may not be...close," Max said, and Felix stayed quiet.

Max plopped down next to the Captain, her now in-between him and Felix. She was fast asleep, and he looked at her hands. She had large, square fingernails that where caked with blood from the battles on Roseway. They where large, and one thing he knows now, is warm. They are warm and kind.

Gently he took her hand in his, lacing his fingers between her motionless ones. They weren't like his, which where calloused and cold from years of work. They where still soft, dare he say, baby-like to the touch. He supposed it was from being in cryo-sleep, and not having to condition hard, labor work on Earth. That or she must care for them with different ointments and lotions.

He felt her fingers curl up to lace with his, and he saw her tiredly looking at him.

"You should sleep, Maximillian," she croaked, and he felt his ears burn again.

"Did I wake you, Captain?" He queried, and she smiled.

"I'm fine. It wasn't you. It was the pain," she softly spoke, and he squeezed her hand.

"Does it hurt to talk?" He asked her, and she peered at him with her emerald eyes.

She nodded.

"Don't talk then, alright?" He said, and she smiled in response.

She continued to look at him with those shinning eyes. It didn't take long for them to flutter closed as she began to drift asleep.

"Goodnight...Dottie."

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#felix millstone #felix #vicarmax #vicar max #maximillian desoto #max #TOW #The Outerworlds #theouterworlds #the outerworlds #captaindottie #Captain Dottie #CaptainDottie

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soulbondinghelp · 3 years

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I was going to send a ask but it started to get too long, so I hope you don’t mind me sending this as a submission.

I’m in desperate need of advice on how to get rid of an unwanted souldbond. I tried googling it, but I just find stuff about soulbonded weapons in WoW or other video games, and that’s not what I’m after.

Yesterday I woke up and he was here (I won’t be naming him, as names have power, and if there’s something I learned yesterday, whenever I even dare to think his name, he get’s stronger). I’m not a spiritual person. Until yesterday I knew nothing about soulbond and if someone told me about it, I would have thought they were crazy. But now he’s in my head, talking to me and he wants to front (I’m hoping I’m using the right terminology here, it’s all super new to me, and I’m going off by what I understood of the glossary in r/plural).

I did nothing to invite him, despite what he claims and I want him out. I haven’t even seen the “source” world he is from in years (once more, I apologize if I’m using the wrong terms). Which by the way, is half totally fake: he comes from another world/parallel universe that was channeled in our universe as a TV show, and in our universe he and everyone from his universe is played by an actor, but they don’t actually look like their respective actor…. and after Season 3, the TV Show stopped being a representation of this world (he says that it’s because the connection with the show’s writers was broken and then they couldn’t know the real experiences anymore and were forced to create fake stuff)(please hold on to what I’m saying, I know I don’t make much sense, but I just please believe me, I almost don’t believe myself).

And as if having a evil wizard in my head wasn’t enough, of course that he is setting camp. He is making his own “mindspace” to resemble his home in his universe (which he has no intention of returning, it seems). For the past 24h I’ve demolishing what he makes but he just goes and make it again, is like a mental civil war. He wants to front and he wants to “feel” the outerworld again, but I don’t want to let him. It’s my body, he’s not welcomed here (by the way, writing this is taking me forever, because he is intentionally disruption me by having explosions in the mindspace, which although I’m “present” in the outerworld, I’m still in the mindspace (????? can’t explain, is like a part of my conscience is there and part is here and when that part gets distracted, my whole thoughts get messy and I need to refocus on the outerworld to go back into doing what I’m going).

Sorry for the long message, and I apologize if I sound condescending or blatantly ignorant. I’m not trying to un-legitimize anyone’s experience and I’m the first one to acknowledge how ignorant I was before yesterday. I kinda thought that since he appeared after I woke up, if I slept again he’d be gone. But nope, he’s still around and I need help getting him out before he gets too strong.

First of all, I would talk to your therapist about. It’s a good idea to make sure that this isn’t a symptom of a disorder. I believe you, but when dealing with soulbonds for the first time, especially with trouble makers, this is always the first step to take just to make sure. Even if you don’t have a disorder causing this, some therapists might be able to give you advice on co existing.

If you are already very sure that this is a soulbond though, you have three options from what I can see. The first one is that you can try to banish him yourself. This is the most obvious solution but doesn’t sound like it has been the most effective. If you do try it again, you might want to consider doing a ritual. They have never worked for us but other people have claimed that they have, so it might be worth checking out. Go look up ways that people cleanse themselves of negative spirits and you can find information on protection.

The second option would be to try to soubond someone else in that can deal with him. A bodyguard so to speak. Try to go for someone more powerful than him that will probably listen if you ask for help. While there is still a chance that it will not chase him off for good, it will give you some protection and hopefully keep him from causing you anymore trouble.

The third option, and this is the one we usually recommend, would be to try to reason with him and co exist with him. From what you described, he seems to be somewhat lost and homesick. Let him build his own place in headspace because it seems like it makes him feel more at home. Maybe sit down with him and tell him that what he is doing is causing problems. Explain why it is. Work out a deal with him that will make both of you happy. Something that you have that would be valuable to him is being a knowledgeable guide for this world. This is something that he needs and something you can work with. We have dealt with a lot of “evil” soulbonds ourselves and you would be surprised by how often they are willing to compromise and reason with you if you lay things out in practical terms and propose deals that benefit both of you.

#soulbonding #soulbond #soulbonds #submission

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tinystinkyman · 4 years

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Astral vs. Mental Illness

Okay, I found a topic for me to talk about.

So I have DID. I’m not going to explain what that is right now, because it’s not a magically based thing and multiplicity is not unfamiliar to these communities. But I have DID. With that comes a nonmagical headspace-- as near as I can tell, a representation of all of our individual minds tied together by our singular life energy. It’s a whole planet, with planes just like the outerworld.

Now, I’ve been trying to get into astral travel. I would like to start small, in our mindspace, where we can get a grip on being in the astral while still being protected. The problem with this is, I can’t find anything on how to actually do this. I’m sure people not versed in DID would tell us that our headspace is also our mindspace, and that is just false. Our headspace is not connected to astral at all, it’s not demi-astral, we can’t add a door from there into an astral plane. It’s just fundamentally not the same sort of thing. But everything I can find was presumably written by singlets, or at least not medical plurals, and as far as I can tell for them their “headspace” and mindscape are one and the same.

I don’t have any fucking idea how to work around this. I don’t have any experienced friends in this area-- I don’t have any experienced friends period. And despite knowing of a lot of experienced people here on tumblr who are definitely skilled enough to at least point me in the right direction, I am too autistic to know if it’s appropriate to ask any of them for help. A lot of them have very big blogs and aren’t welcoming of tutoring requests without pay, and I am dirt poor. I could go on a rant about how paywalls only affect poor people and keep us uneducated and unable to access the opportunities that higher class people have but that’s not relevant to the topic.

There’s also the problem of our astral body being.... sort of big. and bright. Sort of a raging beacon of light that draws dark things like moths. And because we experience paranoid delusions, I Cannot Tell if those dark things are actual threats or just my own fears fucking with me. Again, I’m sure an experienced astral traveler could give me some good pointers on this but I don’t have anyone I can ask. So I don’t know if we even need to bother with the safety precaution of mindscape before free travel.

There’s also the other problem of us being some kind of energy leech, but we’ve never been able to explore it and so we’re always at very very very low energy levels, physically and magically. For small spells we’re good enough at energy work to not use our own unless we have to, but astral stuff requires more. I don’t have anyone to feed off of, and because of quarantine and being high risk we don’t have the advantage of leaving the house and getting at least a little bit of a charge off ambient energy. Basically, as always with me, I have a lot of problems and no solutions.

If anyone knows good posts or articles, if you could be so kind, PLEASE point us to them. If you have experience circumventing any of these problems yourself please contact me. I’m not going to be bullied out of learning because I’m “too sick” and I’m not stupid enough to put myself in danger by winging it, so don’t just tell me to figure it out on my own.

Feedback is welcome.

#witch #witchblr #astral #astral travel #astral projection #mindspace #astral body #nd witch #neurodivergent witch #plural witch #did witch #i dont know what else to tag

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tipsycad147 · 5 years

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CELEBRATE WINTER SOLSTICE AND ALIGN WITH THE SEASON

It’s dark. The days are short. The nights are long. Let us be here. In the darkness.

WELCOME THE DARKNESS

The holiday lights and festivities can be good medicine, but they can be unhelpful if we use them as distractions. Let’s not pretend it is light. It is dark. The Buddha teaches that suffering comes from craving what we want and avoiding what we don’t want. Are we putting up twinkle lights to avoid the darkness?

So, let us sit here for a moment, and embrace what is - beautiful, rich, mysterious darkness. Stars and moonlight. Deer, fox, and owl. Our bodies, like bear and groundhog, seek rest. Our souls enjoy dreamtime, in the darkness.

BRING YOURSELF INTO RIGHT RELATIONSHIP

I find deep joy in this practice of tuning into the season. When we take time to appreciate the benefits and challenges of this unique moment in time, we embrace our place in the cosmos. We know we are in relationship to the Sun and the Earth. We belong here. This is our rhythm; together we are spinning through space, twirling and tilting as we dance with the moon. Let us weave our personal stories into this cosmic tale. Know that you belong here, in the darkness.

Notes on Winter Solstice from My Personal Grimoire.

BE THE LIGHT

AND, we have power. We have memory and consciousness. WE are light. THAT is why we light fires in the darkness. Not because we are avoiding the darkness, but to give voice to our hope, our faith, our courage. We glow with gratitude. We shine a light in the shadows and illuminate our fears so that we may grow wiser and more joyful. We strike matches, plug in twinkly lights, and burn logs because this, too, is part of darkness. When we celebrate the Winter Solstice, we honour darkness and celebrate light. We tune into seasonal markers of change. We invite our body, mind, and soul to align with here, and now.

WHEN IS YULETIDE?

Technically the Solstice is the shortest day of the year. But, the holiday of Yule is so much more than one day. Only you know the right time to begin your observance. This year, our family moved from California to New York. The darkness feels different this year. The cold has us turning inward, sooner. And, so, we find ourselves meditating on fires, huddled around the woodstove. We decorate our home with fir and pine, appreciating their greenery in this leafless landscape.

Photo by Erin Mahollitz

ALTAR MAGIC

My favourite way to align with the season, make an altar. Ok, I’ll be honest; I have multiple altars. What is an altar? It’s basically any spot adorned with symbols that connect you with divinity. Some of mine are filled with items found on nature walks, and some are covered with decorations collected over generations. Here are some ideas for transforming any surface into a sacred space,:

Colours: Red, Green, White

Candles

Cider and/or wine

Branches and moss from local hikes

Evergreens, holly, mistletoe

Dried Fruit and nuts

Bits of Paper and Ribbons from package wrapping sessions

Citrus Fruit

Image of the Wheel of the Year / Spiral

Antlers

Bells

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

CHRISTMAS AND SHARING LIGHT

Coming from Catholic families, Christmas still takes on a leading role during this time of year. Heck, even I believe in Santa Claus. I mean, sort of. He embodies the Spirit of Christmas, and we all have a little Santa inside us, right?. So, I guess, I believe in us. THIS is the story I tell my kiddos. I emphasise the importance of spreading joy and light. I also emphasise that Santa needs A LOT of helpers. I invite them to help out. “How would you like to spread light?” My boys love making (and wrapping) gifts. My favourite moment so far... hollering “Merry Christmas” to our mail carrier as she plucked a bag of cookies from our mailbox. Gift giving is just one way to bring joy into the world. Our family enjoys creating experiences together, like breakfast dates with the nephews or Handel’s Messiah with my mom.

MEDITATIONS ON THE SUN

This year I am excited to simply sit and think about the sun. Here is a list of my favourite activities.

Writing thank you letters to Grandfather Sun.

Colouring images of the sun. Check out this collection.

Reading books about the Sun, like this one, and this one.

Listening to stories about the Sun:

'Maushop And Grandfather Sun' from Circle Round

‘The Owner of the Sun’ from Circle Round Podcast

Creating Sun-Like Decorations

Orange and Clove Pomanders

Dehydrated Orange slices

SPIRAL WALK CEREMONY

This year we are taking it to the next level and celebrating with a ritual filled with fire, verses, candles, story, and cocoa. At the heart of the event is a Spiral Walk, inspired by the Waldorf Advent Spiral. I love walking labyrinths and the symbolic movement of leaving the outerworld and turning toward the centre. Our Yule ceremony incorporates a similar walking meditation, as we look to our inner light on the darkest night.

MATERIALS:

Evergreens (or something else to mark the spiral)

1 larger pillar/votive candle

20 tea candles

Taper candles for each participant

Matches/lighter

Small pieces of paper

Pens

Optional

Paper, sticks, and logs for a bonfire

TO BEGIN:

Optional: Prepare a bonfire with paper, sticks, and logs. Light it if you need it for warmth.

Create a spiral on the ground. Traditionally it is made with evergreens (ours is made from extra branches from at the Christmas tree farm), but it can be made with chalk, ribbon, garland, rope….

Place one larger votive/pillar candle (unlit) in the middle of the spiral as a symbol of the enduring light of the sun and the light within ourselves.

Place 12 smaller candles (unlit) along the path of the spiral, symbolic of the 12 months/moons of the year.

Place 8 candles around the outside of the spiral, one for each cardinal direction and each equal division. It demarks the sacred circle.

AT DUSK

As the sun’s light begins to fade, distribute long/taper candles to each participant.

Recite the Brief Homily on Darkness (By John Halstead) - adapted by Erin Mahollitz “The winter solstice happens in nature, but it also happens inside of us. It can happen inside of us in summer or winter, spring or fall. In the dark place of our soul, we carry secret wishes, pains, frustrations, loneliness, fears, regrets, worries. Darkness is not something to be afraid of. In the the dark place of our soul we can find rest and rejuvenation. We can find balance. And when we have rested, been comforted, and restored, we can return from the dark place in our soul to the world of light and new possibilities.”

Call in the elements and directions asking for their love, protection, light, and energy. *Light the candles around the spiral while waking clockwise

The designated “keeper of the light” lights the candle at the centre, while others recite

Prelude: “Solstice Prayer” chant by Thorn Coyle “We wait in the dark for the light to appear, Mother, give birth to our brother the Sun. We wait in the dark for the light to appear, Mother, give birth to our brother the Sun! We wait. We watch. Out of the cold comes the promise of newness. We wait. We watch. Out of the cold comes the promise of day!”

WALKING THE SPIRAL

*Note: I will go first to model how this is all done. I will do it once while narrating my actions. I will do it a second time, in silence. Then, the kids will have a go. Eric will go last.

One at a time, each person silently walks to the centre with their unlit taper candle. This is a meditation on personal darkness (that which no longer serves you).

When you get to the centre, silently light your taper candle from the central candle.This is a symbol of the eternal light of the sun as well as the eternal the light within you. This is also a good time to ask, “What light do I wish to cultivate in the new year?”

As you walk out of the spiral, use your lit candle to light a few candles along the spiral. This is a symbol of carrying your light out into the world and into the coming year.

After exiting the spiral, write down an intention/light you want to nurture in the coming year, this may be an attitude, a goal, a behaviour, a relationship you will tend. These can be saved in a “manifesting box,” turned into a mobile or prayer flags, incorporated into a family vision board, or thrown into the fire so the winds can carry your wishes into the ether.

When everyone is done, recite “The Light is Reborn” by John Halstead Take turns reading a line of the “call”. Everyone responds with the line, “The light is reborn.” When the earth is barren. The light is reborn. When the animals sleep. The light is reborn. When the leaves have all fallen. The light is reborn. When the rivers are frozen. The light is reborn. When the ground is hard. The light is reborn. When the shadows grow long. The light is reborn.

Sing “Pagan Silent Night” (UU Hymn 251) adapted by Ellen Reed Si – lent night, Sol – stice Night All is calm, gone is light Na- ture slum – bers in for – est and glen Till in Spring – time She wakens a – gain Sleep – ing spir – its grow strong! Sleep – ing spir – its grow strong! Si – lent night, Sol – stice Night Sil – ver moon shin – ing bright Snow – fall blank – ets the slum – ber – ing Earth Yule fires wel – come the Sun’s re – birth Hark, the Light is re – born! Hark, the Light is re – born! Si – lent night, Sol – stice Night Qui – et rest till the Light Turn – ing ev – er the roll – ing Wheel Brings the win – ter to com – fort and heal Rest your spir – it in peace! Rest your spir – it in peace!

Close the sacred circle by thanking the directions and blowing out the four directional candles. (You can leave the other four outer candles to burn. They’ll look pretty.)

Blow out your personal candle. (Find a place for it in your home, and relight it when meditating on your intention.)

Go inside for cocoa and cookies. While eating and drinking, you can take turns reading…

https://magicalhomemaking.com/blog/celebrate-winter-solstice

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tigereyes45 · 7 years

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Picture Perfect

Ricken smile begins to strain. He continues to suffer as he waits for the last few paint strokes to strike and flow over the paper. "H-how much longer do we have to stand here?" Brady says hesitating to talk at first. "Hush Brady." "But ma," "Hush and I told you, you will call me mother. Not ma." "Please stop moving?" The painter pleads as he pauses to stir one of the colors that had started to dry. Ricken couldn't help but wonder how they weren't all dry by now. "Mommy please let me sit." The younger Brady asks. "You should have sat on my lap when we started out then." Maribelle says, still bitter that her youngest son had fled from her arms when the painter was setting up. Ricken laughs. He couldn't help it. He was quickly reprimanded by his dear wife and the painter. "Sorry." He apologizes whispering, as it seemed appropriate in the otherwise silent house. When Maribelle had suggested this weeks ago, he thought it had sounded great. He suggested sending a letter to Anna and requesting to buy and use one of her strange tomes. One of which she had used when they had gone to the beach outerworld. Maribelle had shot that idea down immediately. She wanted a more traditional portrait. One she could have set next to the pictures of hers and his relatives. "But wouldn't it be quicker and simpler to try one of these new tomes? Maybe Anna will show us." Ricken had said hoping to change her mind, remembering his own experience when standing to be painted with his parents. "No. Tradition is how we will have our first portrait done. Now I will write a letter to Brady and tell him to make plans to pause in his performances to come and visit us." Maribelle had said and left Ricken's study without another word. "Pa, tell ma she's lost it if she thinks I'm standing here another hour." The elder Brady says before yelping and bending over. "Don't move or I have to restart." Ricken looks at his eldest with pity. He knew how much it hurt to be at the receiving end on Maribelle's umbrella. Brady's eyes were close to watering over. "Don't worry I am sure it will be done soon." Brady nods, biting his lip. He stands back up, sniffling as he did so. That was when Ricken saw the painter watching them impatiently. Brady noticed as well and glares at him. "What're ya lookin' at?" That made the painter jump. The sudden hostility had surprised him. "Brady please," Ricken begins but was interrupted by his younger son. "Yeah! What are ya looking at fool?" The younger one adds the insult to the end of it as if it made him sound tougher. Maribelle's gaze was the only thing needed to set the boys straight. As soon as they saw it they stopped and stood still again with a muttering, "Sorry ma'am." Ricken holds his smile through it all. Though it began to falter as he watches his sons' outbursts and their mother's furious gaze. He felt bad for his sons but he knew better then to move himself. This was important to Maribelle and he wanted to make her happy. She had been so upset these past few months even if she did pretend to just be busy. He couldn't help but wonder if it was because the Brady from the future was always gone. He wasn't just assuming that though. Miriel had taught him better than to just assume and act on it. No he had evidence. "There all done. I hope it is too your liking Mrs. Maribelle." Ricken and the boys let out a collective sigh of relief. "So do I or you shall have a serious lack of work from now on." Maribelle says as she stands, lifting her umbrella up onto her shoulder. Ricken laughs as the taller Brady sticks his finger down his throat in a mocking gesture. The younger Brady laughs, gaining his mother's view. He stops and covers his mouth with his hands. Maribelle turns her attention back to the painting her pursed lips slowly turn upward into a small smile. It left her as she faces the painter. "This is satisfactory. Thank you. You will receive your payment momentarily." She says and looks back at the painting, fondly. Ricken walks over and leads the painter away. He pulls out a coin purse and hands the man his requested payment. “Thank you for coming today.” The painter gives a slight bow before leaving. Ricken turns around and walks over to Maribelle. “Shall we go hang it with the others Maribelle?” He asks and sets his hand on her shoulder. “No. I think not. I shall go set it in your study. We will hang with the others later." She says and gently lifts the picture. Ricken watches her with a careful eye as she walks by. "What's wrong with ma?" His eldest son asks once Maribelle was out of the room. "I think she feels lonely." Ricken says and straightens his hat. He had, at some point, grown in to it over the years. "Why? Aint we all 'ere?" He asks looking down at the other him then back to his father. "Yes, well you're often gone and Brady just turned five. I think she feels as if it won't be long before he too is old enough to leave then it will just be us in this place." Ricken says voicing his thoughts out loud for the first time. "Eh? That's nonsense. She's got plenty of years before the other me leaves." Brady says and leans on his staff. "True, but she doesn't see it as such. Plus, since the end of the war you haven't come to visit very much Brady." "Ah, well. Um." Brady rubs the back of his neck. "You know you're always welcomed Brady." Ricken says with a warm smile before taking a book away from the smaller Brady. There was a moment of hesitant silence before Brady replies. "I know. Isn't it," he pauses and watches ricken pick the other Brady up and set him on his shoulders. "a bit strange?" Ricken laughs. "Brady there is nothing normal about children coming from the future to save their parents." "Still," "You're always welcomed here and I think it would cheer your mother up if you did stop by more often." Ricken spins around and little Brady giggles joyfully. "Haha. I think that's enough Brady. Here, go to your brother I have to help mommy set up the picture.” Brady says and hands the small boy to his older self. The older one takes him but holds him awkwardly on his side. Ricken leaves them be. Brady had been avoiding spending too much time with his younger self and Ricken knew it. That was why he always found at least one reason to have him interact with each other when BRady from the future visited. Ricken walks through the long halls of the small mansion. It was in no way small when one looks at it or walks through it but when compared to the other royal houses it was certainly considered so. Once he arrives at his study he knocks before openly the door. There was the sound of quick shuffling before he heard the small call, “Come in.” From his wife. He opens the door and notices the picture sat against the small lantern on his desk. He was glad it was not aflamed. He smiles at Maribelle’s back and hums as he starts walking over. She looks up pulling a napkin away from her eye. She saw it was Ricken and sat up a little straighter, turning her head back towards the picture. “They’re growing up so fast.” Ricken nods even though she couldn’t see it and his humming becomes a higher pitch before slowly returning back to the key tunes. He pulls his chair from behind the desk and sits it next to Maribelle. He was taller than her now and her hair was longer and never up as much as it use to be. She let her curls fall onto her shoulders without restraining them into ties anymore and Ricken thought it was a beautiful look for her. “They are getting big. Well one’s already quite taller than us. Heh.” Ricken jokes and looks over at the picture before looking at Maribelle form the corner of his eyes. Maribelle didn’t respond or turn away from it. Ricken sighs and sets his arm around her shoulders. “I talked to Brady. I think he will start visiting more often then he has been.” “That’s good.” Ricken nods again. “I think Lissa is coming to visit with Owain tomorrow.” He mentions hoping to cheer her up. “Really? That is good news. I have been wondering how they have been doing as of late.” “Maribelle what’s wrong? I know something is. I have been with you long enough to tell when something is on your mind. Is it the boys?” “Yes. Brady already doesn’t need us anymore and soon the other won’t either. We’ll be alone in this house and they won’t visit anymore.” “Maribelle he may be growing up and the older Brady may not visit us often but they will always need us and we will be able to be there for them when it happens. We’ll always catch them when they fall and hope that the advice we give them will be enough after we’re gone.” Ricken says pulling her closer. He couldn’t help but become saddened by the thought but he knew one day one of them would leave the other, and he could never imagine her not being there. He had loved her for years and would continue to for the rest of his life and longer if possible. Maribelle looks up at him and he saw the tears that lay in her eyes. He wipes them away with his thumb. "Come on Maribelle. Don't cry. I'm really trying to cheer you up here." She laughs but chokes on it a little. "I know. I know Ricken." She lifts the napkin to her eyes again and dabs at them with it. "Ugh. Look at me. I am a lady I should not be crying. It is unbefitting." She says with only half of her normal conviction in her words. Ricken pulls the napkin carefully out of her hands and stands from his chair. Maribelle gives him a look of confusion but he offers no explanation as he kneels in front of her and raises the napkin to her eyes himself. "Everyone cries Maribelle. Even lords and ladies. I have seen Chrom and Lissa cry before. It is nothing to be ashamed of." "That is different. That was during the war. I am crying over the passing of time Ricken, my dear. It is not charming." Ricken shakes his head and sets the napkin aside. "Maribelle, you are the most charming lady I have ever met or seen, and I am the luckiest man in the world to have you as my wife and my dearest." Maribelle's face grows softer at his words until a small smile graced her lips. She looks from the Ricken kneeling before her to the one standing in the picture. "You have grown into a fine man and lord Ricken. You are responsible, sensible, understanding," "Wow that's two ibles in one sentence." Maribelle sighs at that but continues, "and you are as wonderful as you were the day we married. I love you my darling." Ricken blushes at that but smiles still. He stands up and offers her his hand. "I think we have a painting to hang." "Yes we do." Maribelle takes his hand and once she was standing she took the painting into her hands. "To the hall then." Ricken says and opens the door. Maribelle walks by and leads the way to the other portraits. It was a hallway lined with portraits of Ricken's ancestors. When they married their estates became shared but Maribelle thought it was only right that they lived and raised their family in his. That decision only felt more certain as she places the portrait at the end of the hall on the right side. It filled the last empty spot to even out the walls. One day both of the Brady's families will lie on either side if the hall right across from each other when the time came. It had been discussed. When their time came their sons will share their estates and could either choose to split them between them or share them together, but both portraits would be hanged here. Maribelle walks over and places her arm around Ricken's. He lifts it and they walk with their arms looped through each other. Maribelle lays her head against his arm as they walked. Ricken truly couldn't imagine his life without her. This all simply felt too right to be wrong. "Ricken." "Yes?" "I want another child." "What?!" I wrote this chapter for Ricken's birthday. I meant to finish it on that day but I had to go to a party after starting it and afterwards procrastination and uncertainty stalled me from finishing it. Oh well. It's done now at least. I hope you have enjoyed this Ricken and Maribelle family piece.

#maribelle #Ricken #Ricken and Maribelle #ricken (fire emblem)#maribelle fire emblem #fanfic #fanfiction #fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #Ricken x Maribelle #Maribell and Ricken #Maribelle x Ricken

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shayurikarasu · 6 years

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Just got back home after watching Thor: Ragnarok with @octobernocturne - 'tis humourous, and once we get the DVD, i will be watching Loki's scenes on repeat! Tom is my no.1 celebrity crush xx (=♡·♡=) ·°··☆··°··☆··°··☆··°· My favourite part was Benedict's cameo as Doctor Strange, and the 'Odin in Norway' scenes; everytime Thor had an alterated consciousness experience receiving his father's wisdom would remind me of what i've read about the Outerworlds in shamanism {i dare not go there myself - even if i was more experienced. i'm better off sticking to Innerworlds work and play; that alone tells you i'm not ready to go there - still, 'tis fascinating to read about others' experiences, but Innerworlds is more suited for working on myself with the egregores i already know - speaking of egregores, the one who became my SO photobombed our selfies in the theatre again, hehehe!♡}. I remember having been skeptical when i found out about Marvel's adaptation of Thor {somehow never knowing about the old comics}, having grown up with a strong interest in mythology from childhood, and i had just really gotten into paganism {thanks Loki} the year my brothers slowly coaxed me into checking the MCU out - i decided to go with it, since i already liked Loki {but not because of Tom}, and i already liked Tom {but not because of Loki; funnily enough}, and we all grew up on Spider-Man and the X-Men, so why the hell not. I could judge and compare if anything! I found it all right, and now the Thor films are my favourite in the MCU due to being inspired by Norse myths. =^^= ·°··☆··°··☆··°··☆··°· #thorragnarok #thor #chrishemsworth #loki #tomhiddleston #hela #cateblanchett #stanlee #marvelcinematicuniverse #mcu #marvel #norse #norsemythology #fenrir #ragnarok

#hela #marvel #loki #stanlee #fenrir #thor #norse #cateblanchett #tomhiddleston #norsemythology #chrishemsworth #ragnarok #thorragnarok #marvelcinematicuniverse #mcu

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theocostories · 6 years

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Lake. Chapter 1. The Dark Room

A silent and rather dark room, cramped and packed with heavy mass. A mass that flows and goes and swallows and showers. It breathes, it lives and it creates life, so cold and yet so warm. The room is comfortable, for some. Some may live, some may suffocate and die. It covers everything with a sheet of its life and then a blanket of its pressure. Yet in this room, though the heavy pressure, we can fly so freely. We simply breathe alongside the flowing mass and spread our wings and then we all may fly. The room is secluded and enclosed just like a secret, so when you enter you may learn something new. Often when you bestow upon it as an outsider, you may feel a number of things. You may feel scared, enlightened, intrigued, comforted or even transformed - a very different experience. The room inhibits many types of life but few for its kind as it is a small room. However the room has recently started to feel even smaller, as if the walls are, although very slowly, closing in.

When people talk about these rooms in the world they call them lakes. Some people take their boat out on them to go fishing and some go for a little swim. Its fresh water makes a good drink for many people and animals surrounding it. Some find the lakes scary, especially at dusk, as its mysterious dark depth carries many secrets but also may lure you and suffocate you to your death. Some also speak of legends about the people of the Lake; about their half-fish like appearance and how they lure drunk men down in the water and drown them. Many even claim to have seen the people of the Lake yet how could that actually be the truth if the Lake people so rarely see them. Maybe then people would also know that the people of the Lake do not have fish tails. The legend has remained but a legend.

However, in this particular silent and rather dark room, our adventurous Lake wants to wash up on the shore one day and breathe the crisp air. She has had this curiosity about the land for what feels like an eternity. Mama is however not so happy with Lake's fascination for the land. "Don't go dry", mama says. "You need the life that lives right here." But Lake wants to open the door to the world outside. The sun shines through the layers of mass to touch a shiny rock. She follows the reflection of light. "There is life right there mama. Can't you see?". "It is not your life", she mutters. "I'd rather dry than stay here forever mama" Lake shouts, although not angrily, the people of the Lake should always whisper as not to disturb the peace of the room.

An even younger Lake was eager to learn about the air and the sky. Mama said the room has its own sky without the danger of men. Lake was even more eager to learn about men, but Mama said we must drown them if we see them. Although she explained they look just like Lake, but they grow old with time and that they wear 'fabric', a material of the outerworld, not seaweed and clams. Sometimes a bottle would fall down into the lake and Lake would make it her most priced possession. Another time a button and another time a rope. Of which none Lake knew what it was, of course, but in her head she would make up stories what it would be used for. But her made up stories would never satisfy her need to know the truth. Lake was not even allowed to swim close to the surface for the longest of time because Mama would get angry. It was dangerous and Mama would rather Lake focus on taking care of the peace of the room than explore.

One good morning after a night of summer rain, Lake wakes up, rises and walks slowly along the lake bed. Every step sinks in. Every breath is serene. Today is the day, this morning is the morning. No breakfast, just moving forward, there will be no waiting today. "Lake don't leave, it is your duty to stay here, this is your place" Mama says to try and stop her. "Mama I know every corner of this room, I know every stone. I've talked to every fish, I've tasted every plant. It's like my life has already ended or like it never begun. My desire is to be bigger than this room. Nobody can tell me what to do anymore. I've longed for the land forever mama" Lake says not averting her eyes from her desired destination, although not annoyed just determined. She does not stop to listen for very long and just continues walking until her head finally emerges through the very surface of the water. Alongside swims her sea turtle friend - also adventurous. Seaweed stuck in her hair and water dripping off her chin Lake just enough peeks out of the water, though she is not scared, it's better to be cautious.

The forest is a dark green with a musky smell. The long stems of trees that reach far up into the sky. The moon light touches every rock and gives it a silvery glimmer where it is not covered by soft green moss. The leaves and the grass are holding small iridescent raindrops. The wind is bouncing off the trees and creating a melody Lake has never heard before. The sky and the stars and the moon all welcome Lake on her arrival to the new world with their shine and their presence. Every sound is like a song and every visual like a movie, every second a lesson. Breathing air feels so different without the gills, which now close and flatten against the skin becoming unvisible, as Lake's respiration switches to air mode. Now Lake is seemingly human.

"It's beautiful. It's beautiful!" Lake squeals with joy. Lake slowly and carefully heaves herself up on the shore from the deep water and touches the dry ground for the first time. Quack, her turtle friend, quacks and agrees with her opinion on the above-water though he has seen the shore and forest before. Lake steps with her bare feet on the grass and the soil, a whole new feeling, a whole new experience. Quack in following her, transforms by every step into a new turtle. They start wandering through the woods and they never look back.

#chocostory #lake #chapter one

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