Play with my heart, I'll tear you apart
Whisper in your ear
Become all your biggest fears
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Think about Harrow's AU Bubbles
Thinking about Harrow's AU bubbles, not as fanfic references, but as expressions of her subconscious fears and desires, is so fascinating.
The Harrow Nova one is pretty obvious. Harrow's parents were obsessed with her being a necromancer, were willing to kill for it. It's only natural she'd wonder, "What if I hadn't been?"
And the answer Harrow gives herself is: Your parents and everyone would reject you (except, wildly, for Crux). Also they'd be alive cuz you'd never opened the tomb, and you'd be an unpopular orphan they'd abuse (Just Like Gideon). And you'd still be just as devoted to serving the Ninth with a blade. There's a lot there. But the other really telling bit is her relationship with Gideon. Harrow Nova professes to hate the reverend daughter even as she seeks to (re) create the necro-cav bond with her. But that hatred doesn't seem to be mutual. And the bit about the daughter intervening when Harrow was whipped…
That's Harrow's subconscious saying if their roles had been reversed, "Gideon would have treated me better than I treated her. Gideon would have protected me."
The Ball AU also seems like a reasonable extension of Gideon's childhood query: "What if my other parent is the most important guy in the universe?" Answer: Emperor Dad would throw a big party.
But also… it's a bride-finding ball! That's so very telling. It could have been anything, but Harrow invents another scenario where she's fighting, competing to get to Gideon, to be awarded the role of her sworn partner (first cav, now bride), while outwardly claiming not to want it.
Now The BARI Star AU often gets described as a "coffee shop" one, but it's actually set in a cohort cafeteria. And normally I wouldn't split hairs over that, but I think the cohort setting is actually really significant. The Cohort was Gideon's dream, and also Harrow's rival for Gideon's attention. It's what she kept trying to leave Harrow for.
So now Harrow dreams that she's left Drearburh to join the cohort and will meet Gideon there. Not fight or compete for a role where they're bound to each other, but just meet her there. That feels like yielding. Like compromise. It makes me think Harrow's subconscious has matured past trying to keep Gideon with her always and is instead looking for ways that SHE can be with Gideon. Meet Gideon where she is.
(Also this may be a stretch, but I always find it low-key funny that Harrow imagines Gideon in the cafeteria… I like to think her brain is skimming lists of hypothetical military jobs like... what sees the least action... ah, coffee-adept, she'll be perfectly safe there...)
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Love how Maomao isnt the 'spawned out of the ether' kind of autistic you often see in media. She is very clearly the daughter of two autistic (& otherwise neurodivergent) people. As well as having, at the very least, an autistic grand uncle.
Like thats some real autistic rep right there. Got a family history of autism, accociated trauma and all. I love it.
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“I’ve fallen madly in love with a woman. And it seems to me so absolutely natural and genuine - there’s nothing problematic about it at all. I just feel proud and uncontrollably glad.”
- Tove Jansson
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the absolute simpery that Rowan exudes in his first pov chapter in queen of shadows is off the charts and i love it
"he hadn't remembered just how stunning she was until she'd taken off her hood earlier and it had struck him stupid"
"he'd sell his soul to the dark god to never have her look like that again"
"fool-- he was such a stupid fool when it came to her"
"that gods-damned nightgown. shit. he was in such deep, unending shit"
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lord help me i have fallen into the Noise and Noisette kiddos rabbithole (in part thanks to @abbyroseflame24 and @klownkoster ehehehehehe)
behold...... THEM. came up with the names Poppy and Mustard because they sounded cute 🤗
dunno what i'm gonna do with these babies yet, but take them. take my very good children. i love them very much.
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