#ive been having an awful art day HELP D: | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glxssylaufey · 3 years

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hello! i hope you are still taking requests!

can i request a oneshot with tom hiddleston where him and the reader are a already a couple and they into a pillow & tickle fight then it turns into a smut? (i rlly love fics with fluff to smut) you may use these prompts that i found!

"quit stealing all the pillows!"

"stop that! i'm ticklish!"

"can i kiss you?"

"i want you right now."

"all mine."

i hope this isn't a lot, i just really love your fics and keep writing! 🦋

ahh thank you sm, i’m so glad you enjoy my writing, love! <3

AND OK THIS IS ADORABLE, you and tommy will always help each other wind down after a long day with cuddles and passion. i feel like he’d be super sweet and gentle with you all night and then he’ll start to get super playful and eventually… well you know. ;)

i hope this is what you were hoping for! enjoy! ❤️

staying in [tom hiddleston]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙. ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙. ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

summary: tom hiddleston x fem!reader ; you and your loving boyfriend enjoy a relaxing night at home with one another. little did you realize, the night was only just beginning.

warnings: smut (18+), minors DNI, very fluffy, swearing, fingering, oral sex, vaginal sex, daddy kink, praise kink

a/n: my dearest apologies for the long wait! i hope you enjoy! requested by: @aestheticallyholland also, keep reading until the end to find my play on words for the title hehe

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙. ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙. ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

The sweet aroma of freshly brewed tea swam through the house as you roamed back and forth in the kitchen. You elevated yourself onto your tippy-toes to retrieve two small cups from the tall cabinet. Seeing how the pair of cups sat neatly on the top shelf away from your reach, you let out a sigh. Of course, you knew who would be the only one tall enough in the house to reach that absurdly high shelving.

“Tom!” you shouted.

“Yes?” he called out from the next room.

“Come help me!” you exclaimed.

Tom was your darling boyfriend that you had met through a mutual friend. You still remember that night your friend dragged both you and Tom to that art museum with them. The both of you grew closer and closer with every conversation or text to where eventually you were inseparable. Even to this day, you smile remembering the day Tom asked you to be his.

“Someone needs rescuing?” Tom quips with a smile, striding into the kitchen. Yup. You had thought to yourself. If anyone would have legs long enough to reach the top shelf, it’s definitely him.

“Absolutely!” you say, playing along. “I don’t know how I’d ever survive if I don’t get my cup of tea right this instance.”

Tom laughs and walks past you to effortlessly pick the two teacups from the cabinet and place them in your hands.

“My lady.” he says with a wink. You giggle.

“Oh, my hero.” you fake a swoon before setting the china cups on the counter. As you being pouring you and your beloved a cup of tea, you feel his body press against your back gently.

His long arms snake around your waist to pull you closer into him. You feel his lips press into your neck, pecking kisses all over your skin.

“The movie is starting, you know.” Tom informs you. You hum slightly, feeling his lips form a smile in the nape of your neck.

“Well, you wanted tea, mister.” you laughed, turning to present him with his cup. “Ta-da!” you exclaim, making Tom chuckle.

“Oh, what would I do without you?” he sighs, taking the cup into his hands before leaning down to press a kiss into your forehead. You smile before going to reach for you own cup.

“Hm, I don’t know. Brew your own tea?” you joke, taking a small sip. “Needs more honey.” you say, turning around and placing the cup onto the surface. Tom rolls his eyes dramatically, setting his cup on the counter.

“And I need your company.” he states slyly. Before you could question what he meant, Tom scoops you into his arms causing a squeal to escape your lips.

“Thomas!” you giggle as he starts carrying you bridal style into the living room. “You wanted tea!”

“Yes but I’m afraid I’ll go crazy if you spend another second away from me.” Tom laughs, placing you down onto the couch. He then quickly crawls on top of you to press open mouthed kisses into your neck once more.

“I was only gone for ten minutes!” you claim.

“Exactly.” he laughs. “You’re incredibly slow.”

“Hey!” you say, grabbing a pillow to playfully wack Tom in the side with. He turns to look at you with a devilish smile.

“Oh, you’ll regret that!” he exclaims before lunging at you to tickle you, causing you to burst out into tears of laughter.

“Tom! Stop that! I’m ticklish!” you laugh uncontrollably, trying to push him off you.

“Don’t mess with the God of Mischief, darling!” he says, before attacking your neck again with nips and pecks, his hands still mercilessly tickling at your sides.

Hooking your legs around his slim waist, you jump and pounce on Tom, sending him onto his back. You pin his arms above his head, looking into his crystal blue orbs.

“Or what?” you tease, raising an eyebrow. Tom stare deeply into your eyes, taking note of how stunning you appeared above him. Tom allows his head to fall back ontoo the couch, letting him lay completely under your touch.

After a moment of breath, Tom begins to grin. You watch as his piercing eyes rake over your form.

“What is it?” you ask softly. Tom brings his gaze back to your eyes and sighs joyfully.

“You’re just so beautiful.” he whispers, causing you to blush. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, looking up at you with pleading eyes. You couldn’t bare to resist him any longer.

With your grip still locked on Tom’s wrists, you bow your head to connect your lips with his. As the kiss deepens, you feel him slip his tongue into your mouth, making you moan in pleasurable surprise.

Tom begins to slowly sit up, allowing you to slide further into his lap. You move your hands from his wrists to cup his face while his arms drop to his side. You then feel Tom’s hands slither up your legs to caress your thighs, making you squirm. When the kiss breaks, his eyes are immediately connected with yours.

“Already writhing under my touch, Y/N?” he questions quietly. You blush, looking away in embarrassment.

“No, darling. You know better.” he corrects you, brings his fingers under your chin to lead your face back to in front of his. “Never be ashamed of the pleasure I give you.” he says before bringing you into another kiss. This one was shorter. You disconnected from his lips quickly to speak, still tasting him on your tongue.

“Tommy…” you whisper, your voice almost cracking.

“Hm?” he hums.

“T-the movie.” Is all you could trust yourself to say. You feel him groan against your skin, his hands traveling up your spine to rub soothing circles over your back.

“That can wait. I want you right now.” he insisted. His suggestive words go right to your core as you begin to feel yourself become wet. One of his hands then slowly drop to the bottom of your shirt. He takes the fabric and slowly begins to move it upwards.

“May I?” Tom asks kindly.

“Please.” you whisper, lifting your arms to allow him to undress you. Tom gently discards your shirt onto the floor before removing his own, revealing his broad shoulders and long torso.

You place your hands on Tom’s chest to feel his bare skin against yours, allowing you to feel closer to him. You then press small kisses across his chest while you sneak your hand down to undo Tom’s belt. Though he was swift to stop you.

“Ah, ah. Ladies first, my love.” he tells you as he grabs your hands to halt their movements. He lifts you up slightly to place you flat onto your back on the couch. You sigh in pleasure as you feel Tom kiss his way from your neck down to your clothed breasts.

Both his hands travel up your stomach to knead your breasts through your bra. You groan, relishing in your boyfriend’s praising touch. One of his hands snake towards the back of your bra, skillfully unclasping the straps. Once the lacy fabric falls, Tom’s eyes roamed all over you body with want and hunger. He took note of how the cool air hit your nipples, causing them to harden for him. Tom hums in appreciation, gently pawing at your tits.

“You’re so stunning.” he says in pure awe. He lowers his head down to capture one of your firm nipples into his hot mouth. He sucks on it gently, making you arch your back into his mouth. Your head falls back as he returns the same attention to your other nipple. You weave your fingers through Tom’s light and wavy locks, giving them a tug every so often. His warm and wet tongue felt heavenly in comparison to the chilled room. His teeth grazed your sensitive flesh, making you buck your hips up into him. You were absolutely craving that friction.

“P-please Tom, I need more.” you whisper. Tom glances at you before giving you a devious smile.

“As you wish.” he says simply before sinking down the couch further towards your burning heat. His hands follow, gently caressing down your bare tummy to the band of the pair of sweatpants you had worn for the night in.

Tom then hooks his fingers in the hem of your pants before looking up at you for your approval with his puppy dog eyes. Although this was not the first time you and Tom had been intimate with one another, you still felt safe and comforted whenever Tom asked your permission for anything and everything. You soften your eyes and give him a soft nod. Tom’s smile grows impossibly wider before he places one last final kiss on your stomach right bellow your belly button.

He removes both your pants and panties in one swift movement, tossing them near by your shirt. Tom takes in the sight of your glistening pussy, ready to be touched. He brings his thumb down onto your sensitive clit, rubbing small circles into your body. You moan out in ecstasy upon feeling his fingers finally touch your needy body.

“Mmm.” Tom practically growls, admiring the sight of your bare cunt. “All mine.” he whispers. With no further warning, Tom dives into your warmth, devouring your dripping pussy.

“Oh, fuck!” you mewl out, arching your back off the couch. This spurs on Tom, his clever tongue beginning to work faster.

You pull at his hair, causing him to moan into your pussy. He ate you like a man starved, his talented tongue licking up every last drop of your sweet juice. You grind yourself onto face, his hands giving your thighs a gentle squeeze before he lifts up his head once again.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and make a mess of my face, Y/N?” he asks in that delicious british accent of his. “Do you want my fingers?” he questions.

“Yes! Yes please, may I please take your fingers into my pussy?” you moan out. Tom smiles against you before pushing a single digit into you. Your moans echo through the house as Tom quickens his pace. He’s quick to find your sweet spots, causing you to push yourself further down onto his fingers.

“You are hugging me so tightly, Darling. I think I ought to stretch you out.” he whispers sinfully before adding in another finger. Once they settle deep inside you he scissors his fingers inside of you ever so slightly.

“Thank you!” you cry. “Your fingers feel amazing, daddy.” you say. Tom grins, his fingers starting to pump in and out of you. He hits your g spot perfectly, making you impossibly wetter.

“I can feel how close you’re growing.” he claims, looking up into your eyes with darkness. “Go ahead, love, cum for me. Show me how much you love my fingers.”

“Yes, daddy! I’m cumming!” you moan. With that, the coil in your stomach snapped with intense pleasure, the wave of your orgasm rushing over you completely.

Tom’s fingers slowed to let you ride out your high. Once his fingers stilled, he pressed one last kiss to your clit before slipping his soaked digits from your sopping pussy.

“Look at this mess you’ve made.” Tom says with a devilish smile. “Go ahead, my girl. Clean it up.” he tells you before bringing his dripping fingers to your mouth. You open obediently, moaning once you taste yourself on the thickness of his fingers.

Your tongue swipes and rolls around his fingers as you made sure to suck on them for good measure. Tom watched you intently, his teeth bared and mouth slightly open while he sighed deeply.

“Fuck, I love you.” he said breathlessly before bringing your face in to kiss him. His tongue slips into your mouth, tasting all of you at once. Once this kiss broke, he immediately brought his lips down to your breasts.

“May I make you feel even better?” he pleads with a gentle tone, his eyes asking you for permission to bed you. “Please, Y/N, let me take you.” he whispers into your ear while his hands continued to massage your sides and hips.

As he sucked marks and hickies into your skin you moaned slightly at the sensation of his talented mouth.

“Oh, Tom! Yes! You make it feel so good.” you whisper, your head dizzy with euphoria. Tom stops to glance up at your eyes with a smile.

“Please, I need you.” you nod with a whine.

“Don't worry, my dear. I'm here to keep you happy." he reassures you with a sweet tone. After pecking one last kiss onto your belly, Tom sits up onto his knees to unfasten his belt buckle. The sound of metal clanking filled the room as you continued to watch him.

Once Tom dropped his jeans along with his boxers, you witnessed his hard cock spring into action and bob up and down obscenely. You could feel yourself practically salivating over the delicious sight of his twitching member. You could spot a small pearl of precum leaking from his red and angry tip. Tom must've caught you staring because he chuckled to himself, snapping you out of your daydreaming.

“See something you like, love?” he leases, his voice smooth and deep. You nod eagerly, sitting up to allow yourself a better view of your godly boyfriend.

“Mm, yes sir.” you hum, giving him a wink. “This view just might be even better than that plump backside of yours.” you teased, making Tom scoff with a smile.

“What a tease.” he laughs before, hooking his hands on each of your thighs to yank you closer to him. Your wet entrance pressed against the tip of his cock, causing you to moan out from the sudden contact.

“Do you want me, Y/N?” he asks, placing his hands on either side of your head to position himself above you.

“Always.” you say truthfully.

“Show me.” he requests.

After a brief pause, you give him a mischievous smirk. You quickly wrap your legs around his waist and pushed your heels into his lower back, forcing his cock to slide inside of you.

You and Tom both throw your heads back in a moan, flooding in the passion you had for one another. Tom pulled your body closer to his so he was completely flush against you, his cock nestled deep inside your pussy. He could feel you pulsing around him, begging him to move.

“You are perfection, fuck!” Tom moaned out as he pulled out completely only to slam back inside you. Your back arches off the couch due to the snap in his hips.

“Yes! Thank you, daddy!” you cry. “Oh, yes, p-please make me cum, daddy, please.” you babbled on, his body driving you near insanity.

“Shh, shh, relax. I’ll get you there, it’s alright.” he whispered before leaning down to gently kiss a tear that had fallen down your cheek. “Now be a good girl and let the whole neighborhood know exactly who is making you feel this damn good.”

With that, Tom set a merciless pace of harsh thrusts against your softness. The sound of skin slapping skin flooded the room, quickly followed by Tom’s grunts and your moans.

“Fuck, Tom, feels so good! Please don’t stop!” you moan, wrapping your arms around his strong neck for leverage.

“Believe me baby, I wouldn’t dream of it.” he grunted, hips still rolling deep into you. You could feel every ridge and vein rubbing inside your walls, hitting places inside of you that you didn’t even know existed.

Your nails dug into his broad shoulders, making him hiss into your ear in bliss. His thrusts began to falter, signaling that he was getting close. You pull yourself closer to Tom, wrapping your legs around his strong hips even tighter.

Tom settles from his hands down to rest on his forearms, connecting his chest with your own. You could feel his rapid heartbeat against your sweaty chest as he lowered his head to kiss you.

You bring one of your hands to tangle into his dark blonde locks, deepening the kiss. You both moan into each other’s mouths, adoring the feeling of being so deeply connected to each other. With one particularly hard thrust, you scream in ecstasy when his dick ruts into your g spot. Tom smirks into your neck, knowing he just found the spot. His thrusts quicken, being sure to hit that spot deep inside you every time.

“Fuck! Oh fuck, daddy, I’m close!” you cry. “Please let me cum, I’ve been such a good girl for you, daddy!” your filthy words fill Tom’s ears, making him growl.

“Not yet, darling. Hold on just a little longer.” he gasps, his thrusts becoming sloppier. You knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

“T-Tom, please!” You feel yourself tighten around him, making Tom moan and give one last sharp thrust before spilling inside you.

“Fuck yes, Y/N, cum!” he moans, his cock stilled in your pussy. You scream, the coil in your tummy snaps, making your orgasm flood over his cock. You could feel Tom’s warm seed fill you up, making you gasp in pleasure. Once the room fell still again, so did Tom. He gently lowered himself onto you, careful not to crush you with his weight. You hugged him close to your bare front, rubbing his shoulders and back to soothe the red marks you had clawed into him. The two of you panted in the now silent room, recovering from your highs. You feel Tom begin to move to remove his now softening cock from your pussy. You quickly cease his movement by stopping his hips with your hand.

“Wait, please.” you whisper. Tom stops, afraid he hurt you, his worried eyes snapping to meet yours.

“Are you okay? Have I hurt you?” he asks, frantic. You place your hand on his cheek to calm his nerves.

“Shh, I’m okay... I just… miss you being this close.” you say, hugging him once more. “Can we stay like this just a little longer? Please, just stay inside me tonight.” you ask tiredly, certain you were already drifting off.

Tom smiles, and presses a lingering kiss into your temple before resting to cuddle you with his cock nestled inside you.

“Anything for you, my love. I’ll stay in tonight.”

#aesthetic #tom hiddleston #thomas william hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x reader smut #tom hiddleston fanfiction request #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston fluff #loki x reader #loki #smut #tom hiddleston smut

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franeridart · 3 years

Text

Anon said: Would you draw SukuFushi? (Sukuna x Fushiguro)

maybe? *thinking face* if I ever got an idea for it, why not. I find sukuna’s obsession with fushiguro entertaining so I don’t count fanarts for it as impossible haha

Anon said: I looked and I couldn't find if you've answered this already, so apologies if you did, but how do you draw your faces? I always struggle with face shape and yours are always super good with really expressive features! Anyway, thanks so much I love your art <3

HMMMMMMMM how do I do that indeed, the basics are honestly what you’d find on any basic tutorial about drawing a face (circle, cross in the middle of it, build the face around that - I really still can’t avoid that step and probably never will). As for the expressions, to be honest with you my way of going about them is thinking them up in emoji/kaomoji form first and then go from there. Emojis and kaomojis have to simplify expressions to the max since it’s such a simple format, right? But they’re still super expressive and convey exactly what they’re trying to say with one single glance, so using them as some kind of reference sheet has helped me a lot in figuring out what’s essential to express what I’m trying to say - still working on it though! I’m rarely satisfied with my expressions, they really do make or break a drawing don’t they............ you never stop learning, I guess!

Anon said: Ahhhhhhh I just spent like hrs scrolling thru ur oc tag and they’re all amazing I love them so much but I keep confusing the everloving SHIT out of myself cuz I too have a child who is Leo and he’s literally so different from ur Leo lol. Anyway tho ur art is amazing and it honestly just makes me so happy so ty and hope have a good day!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEO! It’d been forever since I’ve last drawn him, I kind of miss him............... glad you like my stuff, by the way! Especially about you liking my ocs, that means the world to me!

Anon said: hi there !!! i was wondering if i had ur permission to ur ur itafushi art in one of my edits ! i wanted to be sure before using it <3 total respect if its a no !! thankyouuuu

Sorry but I’d prefer if you didn’t do that!

Anon said:THERES A OCTOPATH TRAVELER LIGHT NOVEL AND ITS SO COOL BUT ITS ONLY IN JAPANEESE ! ;^;There's four stories with centered around pairs of characters and alfion is one of them !Idk if itll be transleted but i hope itll be cuz it sound awesome

OH I KNOW!!!!!!! I saw the art for the alfion one a while back, it looks so soft!!!! ;;;;; 8path is kinda niche as a game though, so who knows.............. let’s cross our fingers!!

Anon said: hello, i am here to recc Skeletons by New Years Day because i think it might fit a few of your ships<3

Thanks anon now I’m emo ;;;;;

Anon said: bakubro gives the best hugs. kirishima is the only one who knows this. everyone is absolutely incredulous when the question "who gives the best hugs" goes around and kirishima answers bakugo. (bakugo thinks kirishima is the best but he benefits from kirishima bodily hugging him and he's biased)

Definitely!! He’s strong and warm after all, bet hugging him would feel the best.... the only one who shall ever know is kiri though, as I bet his hugs are only that nice when he really likes the person he’s hugging hahaha

Anon said: Hi! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your JJK art! The colors and style are absolutely stunning.

Thank you so much!!!!!!! I feel like I’m mostly drawing for myself lately ngl hahaha so knowing you like it means a lot!!

Anon said: Hi!! This isn't a request I just really like your art! I found you from Pinterest on a kiribaku thing you drew! Your art is so cool! I wish I could draw like that!!! I'll keep looking for new art you've made :D

Aw pinterest.......................... glad you could find your way back here though!! And thank you!!

Anon said: This happened a while ago, but i wanted to say it anyway. I remember when I started watching jujutsu kaisen and I was looking for content arter finishing the first 10 episodes in less than a day and I found your first jujutsu kaisen post (it was posted that dame day) and i was like ???? One of my favorite artists got into jk at the same time than me!!! I just thought it was a neat coincedence to share! I really love your art too, you're amazing!! Happy New Year!!

It’s!!!!!!!!!!!! a pretty dang neat coincidence for me too, since it’s always nice to know at least some of my followers are still into the stuff I make hahahaha

Anon said: i think a lot abt ur art and how ive been seeing u since middle school and now im graduating highschool and we're still in the same fandoms, i hope this doesnt make u feel old but rather VERY cherished qwq

No anon this makes me feel amazing you’ve been around so long!!!!!!! I can’t believe you’re still here with my thank you so much for that!!!!!! I think I’m gonna cry a little here.......... ;;;

Anon said: Hi! I love your art so much!! 🥰 Have you read a KiriBaku fic called The Pit??

Probably not, haven’t been reading krbk fics in a while by now! I’ll add it to my for-later list, thank you so much for the rec!!

Anon said: can u believe that (sans sero) the entire bakusquad can be put into some form of punk/goth fashion? the realization was a galaxy brain moment for me. also realizing that tokoyami, kirishima, and tamaki are all varying levels of goth/emo (some more concerning than others)

Sero’s the hippie friend every punk friend group needs, he balances things out and that’s why he’s very cherished and necessary!!!!

Anon said: your bakugo drawings convinced me to finally start stretching my ears and tbh i'm extremely excited (i've had off and on thoughts of stretching my ears (again) before this so it's not as impulsive as it sounds haha)

Anon that’s so cool!!!!!!! I love gauges so much.....................glad I could give you the last push for it!!

Anon said: uhhhh, i love the style of that top left goge drawing dude!!

THANK YOU I LOVE DRAWING IN THAT STYLE THIS ASK MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME

Anon said: i sent the dragon!kiri and bakugo tug-of-waring over a piece of meat and honestly your response is exactly what i thought

Great minds!!!!!!! hahaha

#fran answers #*posts this pretending most of these asks aren't over a month old*#whassup

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suekre · 3 years

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So ive followed you a VERY long time (like from the deviantart days lmao) and i only just realised that you were talking about ocd in that post. Just wanted to let you know that i have ocd as well and god it is exhausting and i know exactly how you feel! I finally start therapy for it in 2 weeks. Pls know that i love your art and you very much and appreciate everything you create and share with us. All the best!! X

Hey you, I know you! Thank you for coming to my inbox and sharing this with me, I appreciate that so much. :) I am SUPER happy for you that you are about to get the help you need, that is awesome. I wish I could have had it at the time!

(And oh boy, the good old deviantart days, haha! Always happy to have my longtime followers around! :D)

OCD is exhausting indeed. People who aren’t affected can’t imagine what a nightmare it is. I, personally, am more prone to intrusive thoughts than actual obsessive-compulsive behavior. When people hear „OCD“, they usually think of obsessive hand washing or „leaving out every black tile while walking through a kitchen“ or so, while it can manifest in other ways. I didn’t know back then. I just thought I was going completely crazy at the time. I think I mentioned my disorder at times but I never actually openly talked about my own experiences (where I come from, mental disorders are a big NO NO, because it’s all in your head, just pull yourself together, other people are ACTUALLY suffering, it’s just dumb thoughts, you just need to think positive, y’know).

I kinda feel like doing it now. Just to get it out, and also to occupy my brain and hands and hey, maybe someone else can pick this up and find themselves in my own experiences. I sure know how relieved I was when I found out I wasn’t alone with my what I thought was a ‚Very Weird, Unique and Niche Problem‘.

I gotta admit first - I’m doing much better nowadays. Even my worst days, as horrible as they may feel at the time, do in no way compare to the hell I went through in the second half of 2015. I have come a long way since my last (and so far worst... omg, oof, I hope there won’t be another) episode of intrusive thoughts. But, oh boy, was it intense. It was the absolute worst time of my life, ever. I’m not writing this to scare anyone. Anyone who is familiar with this, will know how bad it is and anyone who can’t relate at all won’t feel affected anyway and will maybe even think something along the lines of „What the fuck?!“. I get it. It DOES sound crazy.

I have always been an overthinker. I always needed more validation and reassurance than other people around me and for the longest time I had no idea why that was. It was usually subtle - always kinda there but never strong enough to actually affect my life in a negative way. I just felt off at times, and not always super good. But I was generally ok, I could always manage.

Until that one episode that changed my life forever. I know that sounds dramatic but, even though I am in a good place nowadays, it sure DID change my life. I was 31, I lived together with my then-boyfriend and I still remember the exact date. Friday, July 24th, 2015. I remember the exact moment when my entire mind collapsed. It’s so weird, it literally happened from one second to the other. I am not making this up to sound more dramatic, it was a matter of seconds.

I was on my way home after work and I felt… restless and stressed. It felt good to get off work (it was my first full time job and... it didn’t go well, to put it nicely) but I was no longer really looking forward to my week off, and our trip to our favorite Open Air the following week. I picked up some dinner on my way, I came home, and I saw my boyfriend in the middle of the living room, he was making some preparations for our upcoming trip. When I saw him, tall and handsome and smiling at me, I smiled back but inside I felt like crying. My smile was fake. Kissing him felt weird, and also fake. And all of a sudden, there it was. The life changing thought:

„I don’t love him anymore.“

A simple thought. I had weird thoughts before, like anyone does, but they never had any greater impact on me. This time, though, that one thought knocked me off my feet. Not literally, I had turned into a pillar of salt somehow. This was the Perfect Man Of My Dreams (at least that was what I thought back then). The man I wanted to spend my life with, the man who made me happy every day! How could that even be, how could I even think something like that?

I felt even more restless. I didn’t tell him, of course. When he asked how my day was, I put on my fake smile again and said it was okay. We ate our dinner (although I had instantly lost any appetite), and I kept looking at him and the thoughts... just kept coming back.

You don’t love him anymore. What if you don’t love him anymore?

On repeat. It was awful. I just couldn’t shake them off.

It’s the stress, I tried to tell myself. You’re overworked. It’ll be good, you just need some rest.

But I couldn’t relax. My heart was racing, my blood was pumping. I didn’t know what was going on. I begged him to leave his work undone and take me out for an after work drink and he agreed. All the time, the thoughts wouldn’t leave my mind. I didn’t want to think them, but they were merciless, they just kept coming back. I felt so helpless.

A few drinks later, I had calmed down a bit, at least so much that I could stand to look at my BFs face again without feeling guilty. There you go, I said to myself, not quite convinced, you’ll be good. It’s already wearing off. When we crawled into bed later, I was tired and relaxed (and tipsy) enough to sleep and convinced that this was just a little glitch, that things would be just fine in the morning.

When I woke up, I felt exhausted. My heart was racing... and the thoughts came back IMMEDIATELY.

You don’t love him anymore. You gotta leave him.

What. The. HELL!? Why are these thoughts still a thing? Why are they still there? Why do they keep coming back?

I kept trying to push them away but the more I tried, the more intense they became. As if they tried to spite me. I started losing focus on everything else around me, the world slowly started to blur. It was just Me And My Thoughts from here. I tried my best to hide my state, and I think I managed for a while, but I felt like a robot any time I talked to someone. When people would pick up on my confusion, I usually brushed their concerns off. It’s nothing, I’m good.

I mean... how do you even tell someone that you just. can’t. stop. thinking. about whether you still love your boyfriend or not? According to the world, that is something you “just feel and know” after all. Except that I didn’t. I had no clue. I couldn’t feel anything. But, according to the world, that was perfectly normal, too. “Honeymoon phase is over at some point, babe. That’s everyday life, you grow comfy, it’s no longer a flash of feelings every day, you know that. You guys have been together for a while after all, what did you expect?!” ... what I felt didn’t feel like comfy everyday life either, though. Comfy everday life shouldn’t come with high key anxiety, sleepless nights and a loss of appetite at any lived second. If that was comfy everyday life, I sure didn’t want it.

So, what do you do when you have no clue about something? Right! Google! Go and ask the world! “How do you know that you still love your partner?”, “Is the love gone?” ... I spent hours, DAYS doing that, but no answer I found was remotely statisfying (or maybe it was for a minute, but the reassurance never lasted long) and I felt that those articles didn’t actually understand what I was asking in first place. I would spend every day like that. Permanently asking myself the same questions, analyzing myself, testing if the Big Feels for the man had decided to come back... nah, not really. Maybe NOW? If I just look at him close enough?! ... maybe if I squint a little?! Fuck, still nothing! Niente! Nada! I am a horrible person, aaah!

(Our open air trip was an emotional disaster by the way, I felt horrible all the time, and the permanent rain didn’t help. -3/10, do not recommend).

If I had known at the time that I wouldn’t spend just a few days but (more or less) six months with this shit... oof. I was already exhausted after those few days.

Over the course of the next weeks I stopped eating almost entirely. I just couldn’t. This permanent tight anxiety knot in my stomach made me want to throw up at the mere thought of food. At my worst point I weighed 138 lbs (63 kg), at 6 ft 1 (1,85 m). I often joked about how I had almost reached runway model standard. I was sick, I was weak, I was scared, but I just couldn’t eat and the bits I DID force myself to eat were burned almost right away by my crippling anxiety. (I still have clothes from that time, and I sometimes beat myself up for no longer fitting into them before I remember that I should NEVER fit into them EVER again.)

Instead I smoked a pack a day. I hardly got any sleep and when I did, it wasn’t relaxing. Always in Fight and Flight mode. My body was at alert level any minute, any day. I’m still asking myself how it could be that I never actually... collapsed. I was always tired, exhausted and malnourished... I dunno, you tell me.

The thoughts never really disappeared. They kept coming back in all variations. You don’t love him anymore. You have to leave him. You may not want to, but you have to. You don’t love him. I had very few “good moments” in between but in those good moments, my mind was usually frantically looking for explanations and reasons behind all this. For ways to improve my relationship, to feel better about my boyfriend. I came up with the WEIRDEST shit. Almost every day I found something new that bothered me. One day he was a little boring. That’s it! We gotta go out more, do more stuff, that’ll change everything. ... aaah, no. Guess not. The next day, it was something else. The day after THAT, it was something entirely different again.

I was suddenly prone to making some HELLA weird impulsive decisions, too. „I gotta break off contact to that one person RIGHT now, THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER!“, “I gotta talk to my mom about THAT particular incident in my childhood right now, THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER!”, “I gotta make a trip to the mall JUST NOW, THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER!”… the decisions made total sense to me the second I made them, for about ten minutes at most, but the initial rush of relief started to fade again quickly and I frantically started looking for new solutions. Google was my best friend. I couldn’t go a day without googling exessively. Overthinking, pacing, googling. Any day, any hour awake. Over weeks. A few months even. My mind was constantly reeling. It was a bottomless pit.

I cannot put into words how exhausting that was. Sometimes the idea of throwing myself out of the next window seemed SO tempting, not because I wanted to die, but because I wanted the thoughts to stop tormenting me.

(I was out of regular therapy at the time, btw. I thought about calling my therapist about it but never did it. I felt isolated, I literally thought I had to do this all by myself.)

At some point, a few months into it, I somehow transferred to zombie mode. The thoughts became a little less intense over time. They were never gone but not quite as nagging anymore. But any time I wasn’t in alert mode, I felt just hollow instead. Sucked dry of any joy, of any emotion, of any sign of life. I just... functioned. Still tried to hide it. I dunno how well I did with that. Probably not at all well. I kept it all to myself, just because it felt that ridiculous. Tried to find excuses. “I’m just tired.”, “You know, there’s a lot going on in my head right now, but I’ll be good.” ... truth is that I don’t remember a whole lot of that time, it’s all blurry. There are just a few significant moments.

Such as that one evening, after work, when I left the building, made a few steps and stood five (or ten? fifteen??? who knows?! not me.) minutes on the spot, motionless, because I could no longer remember my way home.

I got fired from that job, by the way. I’m sure it was mostly due to low performance, I get it, but I can’t blame my poor state alone - they were also assholes.

Anyway.

I had, of course, never stopped the googling and one day, after hours of browsing any niche I hoped I hadn’t browsed yet, I somehow found a blog written by a young woman like me. The description tackled almost all of my thought patterns and I was blown. away. She asked herself the very same questions, with the very same twists, and... she even had a name for it.

ROCD. Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I cried for what felt like hours. Out of relief. There was a person in this world who knew exactly what I was going through. And she even had tips how to overcome it. It wasn’t the first time I had heard about OCD, but as it had never affected me in any way before (I, too, associated it with compulsive hand washing and tile jumping), I wouldn’t have thought of it. After doing my own intense research on the subject, a huge part of me and my life finally started making sense to me. Not much was known about ROCD at the time, but it kinda didn’t matter anyway. What mattered was the OCD part. The subject of the thoughts is entirely interchangable. It’s the chain of thoughts itself that has to be broken. Don’t focus on the relationship. Break the chain instead.

The internet also recommended exposure therapy but as therapy wasn’t an option at the time (weird German laws... regular health insurance covers only a limited amount of therapy lessons within a certain span of time and I had used mine up and there was no way I could pay myself), I decided to try it myself, the key points being:

* No more googling, no more reassurance. Learn to live with the uncertainty, learn to live with Not Knowing.

* Let the thoughts happen. Watch them pass by. They’re just thoughts, they can’t harm you. Don’t fight them, just recognize them and let them stay, they’ll get less scary over time.

* Focus on other things, as hard as it is. Try to occupy your mind and your body. Any minute you spend doing something else but brooding is a win.

It all sounded so very abstract at the time, but I was determined to give it a try. Oh gosh, was it hard. After months of emotional torment and getting used to unhealthy ways of coping, it was SO DAMN FUCKING HARD to NOT google. To NOT think. It felt like torment all over again. How was I supposed to just let the thought sit with me!? It was scary, I didn’t want it! Just ONE little peek, only a second, come ON! I won’t do it again after that?!

Oh god, it was the worst, it really was. Trying to break the chain while I was so desperate to save my relationship was terrible. I honestly don’t remember HOW I made it... but I made it. I somehow... clawed and bit my way out of it. I went right through the pain and made it. It’s not actually a linear process but there comes this point (and I know a few people I met on online platforms who would back me up on this) when you know the worst is over. You just know it. Things weren’t exactly good by the time the thoughts were history but I had reign over my own head again, I could actually SEE the world again, and that was worth everything plus my body weight in gold.

I’ll stop right here because the following months weren’t about my OCD anymore, but about figuring out needs, figuring out myself and what I wanted from life and this particular relationship and it’s not quite relevant and another story. (I DID love my ex-BF but it turned out he wasn’t at all good for me, I had ignored all the red flags for too long, and it didn’t take long after this for us to go separate ways)

I hated this particular time in my life while it lasted but I have learned and taken so much from it. It has changed my life in so many ways. I learned that things are never set in stone, not for anyone. That there will always be uncertain times on our ways. That change is always scary. That it’s okay to be scared. That staying in crappy situations for the sake of it isn’t always the right thing to do. Sometimes, doing the right thing (aka leaving a relationship that isn’t good for you) can make you sad. Love does not equal compatibility.

Looking back, I am - in a very bizarre and twisted way - grateful for the experience. It was an incredibly important lesson for me that taught me to be kinder to myself, to look out for myself and to listen to my own needs. That I should put myself first at times. For the first time of my life, I really got in touch with myself and my own emotions. I learned to understand them, I learned where they come from. I learned to cut myself slack at times.

The list goes on and on, but you get my drift. I know myself inside and out at this point. That wasn’t always the case. Not until 2016.

It still comes back at times. Not with such full force, but it keeps creeping back in, pretty much any time I have to deal with uncertainty in my life. Bad news at work, not hearing from a friend for a while that I’m dying to hear from (inevitably thinking that they MUST be mad at me) or when I spot a few symptoms of sickness that I’m not familiar with (I practically never get sick). Not Knowing What Will Happen drives me CRAZY. I hate uncertainty, I need my life to be stable and calm to fully function.

Now, in COVID times, it’s mostly the fear of suffering from an incurable disease. AGAIN. I’m familiar with that, too. I’m not even scared of catching the virus, I just fell right back into overthinking any symptom I have, even if it’s just a short pain in the neck or whatever (you know, things that one usually brushes off). When my life was busier, I was MUCH better at handling those thoughts. Most of the time, they didn’t even come up in first place. Sitting inside and avoiding contact 99,9% of all times, and having little to no actual distraction („reading/watching movies“ doesn’t help me personally, it does’t occupy my mind enough, I usually just stare right through the pages/screen), however, leaves FAR too much time for the thoughts to unfold, once they come up.

This subtle but lingering concern for my health puts my body into a permanent state of anxiety once more. Fight and Flight mode. The pace of my heartbeat is always slightly, but perpetually, increased. It isn’t always outright panic attacks, it’s this constant state of having to be… alert. Something MIGHT happen, y’know. Be prepared. Relaxing and doing nice things becomes almost impossible. Instead, I get tired and exhausted. Depressed, even. It sucks the joy right out of me. I feel like living under a glass dome. I see what’s happening around me but I am unable to connect, emotionally. People keep living their lives and I can watch them, but I can’t be a part of it. It’s a deeply crushing feeling. I manage to somehow function but I don’t really feel alive. My abandonment issues and fear of „getting left behind“ kicked in again, too. I want to catch up and take part but can’t so I stress myself over THAT, too. This only adds to the exhaustion and makes me feel even more isolated.

Hello, vicious circle, my old friend.

I didn’t even realize that I had such huge potential to fall right back into it. It all started… I dunno, by mid/end of January?? It’s a bit blurry this time. It is directly connected to Germany’s recent lockdown, though. A massive case of Not Knowing How Things Will Turn Out. I failed to take better care of myself in the past few weeks. And now I’m here. AGAIN. Ugh.

But well, as I said, it’s not as bad and, as I said, I have at least learned some important things over the years. In this particular case of intrusive thoughts, the first rule is: NEVER GOOGLE SYMPTOMS. And never google shit like „chances to survive (whatever illness think you have at the time)“, either. The mind longs for reassurance but googling symptoms is BAD, as we all know by now. It’s not even reassuring when you do it. Because you’ll inevitably end up diving through the vast internet for HOURS, picking up an entry that some person named Kevin made on a cancer forum way back in 2004, saying that his uncle died the next day after finding out he has cancer and that is, OF COURSE, what will happen to YOU, too. There is no other way. YOU WILL DIE.

Excuse the text walls. I took an opportunity to ramble about my own experience, for the first time ever since it happened (not including the few short talks I had with the few people I met on internet forums).

To anyone who made it this far: Thank you so much for reading. It sure felt good to write this down for once, even if it’s just a short summary (yes, really, I mean, we’re talking six-ish months here), and the descriptions fall woefully short. If anyone affected by the same happens to read this - I am so, SO sorry you are suffering so much. You are NOT alone and you are NOT weird. Talk to someone. Open up. To your doctor, or you therapist, if you have one. To a person you trust. It is the worst but there are ways, there is help. I wish I had known at the time it started for me.

You know now. :)

P.S.: DON’T FUCKING GOOGLE:

#ocd #rocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #relationship obsessive compulsive disorder #mental disorder #sanne rambles

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aboutanancientenquiry · 2 years

Text

A few comments on some bizarre things about ancient Egypt, the Greeks, and divination that I have read on this site

“Fate is not a concept the Egyptians had. They did not prophecise the future, nor had any inclination to do so. That’s a strict Greek/Roman thing, and something they brought with them when they conquered Egypt. Any ‘prophecy’ stuff you see will be strictly from the Ptolemaic period onwards. The Oracle of Amun falls under this, as it is the Oracle of Zeus-Amun and therefore not an Egyptian invention but a Ptolemaic one. Ptolemaic Egypt is Greek culture with Egyptian accoutrements.”

This is what I have read somewhere on this site, written by an eminent tumblr specialist on ancient Egypt. These awful Greeks brought their irrational obsession with prophecies to Egypt when they conquered it! So frustrating!

However, I will propose very humbly the following objections to this piece of exquisite wisdom:

1/ The Temple-Oracle of Amun at Siwa existed...centuries before the Ptolemies! For instance, Herodotus reports (III,26) the ill-fated Persian attempt of conquest of Siwa and of the Temple-Oracle of Amun under Cambyses in 525 BCE, whereas Alexander the Great conquers Egypt in 332 BCE and Ptolemy Soter -the founder of the Ptolemaic dynasty- takes the power in Egypt after Alexander’s death in 323 BCE (first as satrap and after some years as king and Pharaoh). The Temple-Oracle of Amun at Siwa was an Egyptian-Libyan sanctuary which became known to the Greeks in the 7th or 6th century BCE through their colonies in Libya. After this contact, Amun has been worshipped in Greece as Ammon, identified with Zeus. Therefore, in the case of the Temple-Oracle of Amun at Siwa there is rather an Egyptian influence on the Greeks than a Greek influence on the Egyptians and of course this happened long before the Ptolemies.

2/ The ancient Egyptians were interested in the prediction of the future and they did use methods of divination. As Herodotus says (II,82, English translation by A. D. Godley):

“Other things originating with the Egyptians are these. Each month and day belong to one of the gods, and according to the day of one's birth are determined how one will fare and how one will end and what one will be like; those Greeks occupied with poetry exploit this. [2] More portents have been discovered by them than by all other peoples; when a portent occurs, they take note of the outcome and write it down; and if something of a like kind happens again, they think it will have a like result.”

The eminent Egyptologist and classicist Alan B. Lloyd comments on this passage (in D. Asheri-A. Corcella-A. B. Lloyd Commentary on Herodotus Books I-IV, p. 296-297) that:

“the association of months with specific gods is well documented from the New Kingdom onwards, such deities functioning as the tutelary god of the relevant month...the incidence of hemerology in ancient Egypt is amply confirmed...It clearly had its origin in the association of particular days with particular mythological events which indelibly stamped them with a specific character...Portents figure infrequently in Egyptian texts but do occur occasionally...The most important category is bi3yt, “marvels”, which are extraordinary phenomena sent by the gods to indicate to a specific pharaoh that his actions have divine approval...the fragments of Manetho contain several entries which might well have emanated from such collections [i. e., books of portents] (FGRHist 609, pp18, 20, 46), but, as yet, no examples of these books have come to light. The preservation of texts designed to help in the interpretation of dreams also justifies confidence in the existence of such documents even though the format they employ differs from that ascribed by Herodotus to books of portents”.

But Herodotus continues (II, 83):

“As to the art of divination among them, it belongs to no man, but to some of the gods; there are in their country oracles of Heracles, Apollo, Athena, Artemis, Ares, and Zeus, and of Leto (the most honored of all) in the town of Buto. Nevertheless, they have several ways of divination, not just one.”

Alan B. Lloyd comments on this passage (ibid) :

“Herodotus means that there was nothing in Egypt comparable to Greek human prophetic media such as μάντεις; all prophecies proceeded directly from the gods. Divine oracles were certainly very important in Egypt from the New Kingdom onwards, and could be invoked to solve any difficulty, domestic or public, but were particularly prominent in political and legal contexts...the gods in this list can be identified as follows: Hercules= Onuris, Apollo=Horus, Athene=Neith, Artemis=Bastet, Ares=Montju, Zeus=Amun, and Leto=Wadjet. There was nothing to prevent any Egyptian god from giving oracles, but only Onuris and Amun can be demonstrated to have done so...There is, however, indirect evidence that nearly all the others functioned in this way also...Important oracular deities not mentioned by Herodotus are Isis, Bes, Ptah, and sacred animals...The standard method was to put questions orally or in writing to the cult image while it was carried in procession by the priests. It would then be made to approach or recoil to signify the god’s approval or disapproval. Other methods probably or certainly used were incubation, the interpretation of the movements of sacred animals, oral communication by the god, and the behavior of sacred objects during solemn processions, e.g. the divine bark could become too heavy to move, or the god’s carried statue would shake...”

I add here the clarification than Greek divination too were in most cases action-oriented: the oracles were mostly not answers to questions of the type “how long will I live” or “will my city be prosperous in thirty years from now”, but rather of the type “should our city participate in this war” or “should we found a colony as we project” or “how will we be saved from the advancing Persians” or “should I undertake the long journey to the x foreign country that has been proposed to me” or “what should I do to expiate the z transgression or to placate the gods”.

3/ Prophecies were a thing in ancient Egyptian literature already long before the Ptolemaic era or even the arrival of Greeks in Egypt. For instance, this is obvious in the case of the Prophecies of Neferty, which comes from the Middle Kingdom, about...1500 years before Ptolemy Soter! Now, the plot of this work is set in the Old Kingdom, in the reign of King Snefru (ca 2575-2551 BCE) and it presents anachronistically a supposed prophecy about a full historical/cosmological cycle of fall of Egypt into chaos and of restoration of the order by a savior king. Of course this is obviously (at least for us) a fictional-literary work, but it shows that prophecy was something important in the Egyptian worldview, otherwise the use by the author of a prophecy as a literary device would have been meaningless.

4/ Presenting the Ptolemaic period of the Egyptian history, with all the interactions, syncretisms, and identity conflicts between Greeks and Egyptians just as Greek culture with Egyptian accoutrements is very simplistic and essentially misleading.

#herodotus #ancient egypt #egyptology #divination #alan b. lloyd #tumblr egyptologists

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cetaceans-pls · 3 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Momentary Vampirism, Discussion of Blood bags, Family Bonding

The one where Bruce gets turned into a vampire, and Alfred has to call in the cavalry to deal with him.

Or, Dick comes through on a Friday night to help wrangle a reluctant bloodsucker.

Bro I just kind of went off on the concept of short-term vampirism and silverware, so here’s some Alfred-Dick-Bruce bonding over Bloody Marys and the different sorts of magic. Please enjoy this pick-me-up I wrote in one weird, frizzy sitting!

On tumblr below the cut:

“I came as soon as I could!” Dick says, rounding a corner so quickly he skids on the marble floor. The text had come through almost an hour ago, but he had been on the tail end of a Zoom interview (quitting policing this pandemic has been both terrifically easy and terribly hard) so between putting on pants and getting through Friday-night traffic, this is how things lie. “How is he?”

“‘He’ is fine, Dick, thank you for concern,” Bruce says tetchily from where he’s sat in the centre of the Yellow Room, surrounded six foot deep by Wayne Manor silverware haloing out around him. The UV lights they use at crime scenes are blaring harsh violet lines around the perimeter, and further out by the edges of the room, 6 of their portable sun lamps are turned off but trained right on him.

“This is all pointless,” Bruce carries on, sweeping his arm ‘round wide in a grand gesture, hissing when a brush against a silver-plated serving trolley has his hand sizzling. “Alfred really shouldn’t have called you.”

Dick ignores him completely to turn to Alfred, who has 3 sets of rosary beads hanging around his neck and irritation hanging from his eyes. “Uhm. I didn’t read further down the text than ‘B was attacked, please come over when you can’. I’m guessing I missed something?”

“You would be guessing right, Master Richard.” Alfred whips off a rosary and hangs it around Dick’s neck, and plops three teaspoons into a blazer pocket. “We aren’t sure quite who is to blame for this latest conundrum, but Batman was struck down by something while making rounds by the Cathedral. Master Bruce appears to have become a, a…” Alfred makes a disgusted noise, “a vampire of some sort, and had insisted I lock him up in a cell till a magic-user from the League could come by and take a look.”

Dick’s ashamed to admit that on hearing the word ‘vampire’ his fist had curled tightly around a teaspoon. After all, the bluntest edge can still manifest as a shiv, if you shove it in hard enough. He’s further shamed that Bruce clearly catches his micro-movement, and he just downright hates the pleased look B has at knowing that Dick is open to bodily violence against him.

Part of the commute time to get back to the Manor almost always involves him psyching himself up to deal with Bruce, and today it looks like it’s going to pay off.

“Okay, got it.” Dick deeply doesn’t, but bluffing can be as important as actually understanding, so. “Why’s he being kept here instead?”

“No master of the Manor,” Alfred says the way a lesser man would say ‘No son of mine’,”will be tossed into some cell while in full possession of himself, thank you very much.”

“I was going to start an automated protocol to have myself manacled and emergency-signal Superman to come by and potentially put me down,” Bruce interrupts from the near distance, “but I was lured here and now I’m trapped.”

Dick catches himself halfway through a laugh; he can’t help it. If Bruce really, really wanted to, escaping this room with its myriad hazards and shining lights would be possible, especially if the situation was so urgent that he was willing to risk serious injury for it.

If Bruce really, really thought he was a danger, thought deep in his messy little heart that he really, really could hurt or injure Alfred while it was just the two of them here waiting for reinforcements, Dick knows he would have grabbed the silver steak knife closest by and, ah, taken matters into his own hands.

It’s as ingrained a response as Dick instinctively putting himself between Bruce and Alfred even while his brain was still catching up to sudden vampirism, shiv-spoon (shvoon?) at the ready.

He lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, untenses muscles that had been ready for something awful since the text had come through. “You’re finally more bat than man, B, so don’t bother pretending to be upset.” Dick spies a tray laden with soup and bread on a little coffee table and heads over, giving up guarding Alfred because their much scarier guard dog has just sprouted fangs. “Oh, man, tomato soup and garlic bread? Alfred, you think of everything.”

“I do try,” Alfred primly says, clearly satisfied that Dick is on his side. “And if you could see your way clear to getting Master Bruce to also partake?”

“I said no, Alfred!” Bruce’s voice cracks like sudden thunder across the room, and it would have been mighty terrifying with its slight unearthly timber if the UV lights bouncing off forks didn’t make the room look a lot like a rave. Even with his eyes starting to turn red, even with the harsh edges of his shape blurring into mist, Bruce can’t quite manage to intimidate.

Everyone in the room knows that it’s just for show, now, so even paranormal powers manifesting doesn’t slow down Dick’s enjoyment of soup. “C’mon, Bruce. It’s just like a blood transfusion, except you take it through the mouth. We all routinely take worse things through the mouth.” Just last week Dick had crunched on something while eating a bowl of soggy cereal he’d accidentally left out overnight, and the certainty that it was some sort of super-armoured cockroach haunts him till this day. “Is it a supply and demand thing? You can have some of my blood bags, Alfred can take some out of me while I’m here.”

“What an excellent suggestion, Master Richard. My blood has unfortunately been turned down because Master Bruce has some spectacularly backwards thoughts regarding older folk, but surely there’ll be no complaint for yours.”

“There are plenty of complaints!” Bruce roars, now up on his feet and pacing in the little circle at the centre of all the silver. “I will not eat anyone’s blood, I will stay in this space and meditate until Zatanna shows up and cures me. There is a magic user zapping vampirism into people in Gotham, and none of this will be solved by you sticking an arm under my teeth!”

His fangs are all the way out now, down almost to his chin, drawing scratches on stubbly skin. Under the native environment of the Bat, out in the night perched somewhere high, he’d be a terror.

Under the warm loving light of the Yellow Room, under the warm loving gaze of people who know him best, he’s more ‘angry hissing kitten’ than anything else.

Dick slurps the rest of the soup, and mops up the rest with the crusty bit of his garlic toast. “So, if it was me that got turned into a vampire, you’re telling me you… wouldn’t IV pump me full of blood fresh out your veins? If you lie to me I will throw a teaspoon at your head.”

There’s nothing but a mutinous quiet from Bruce, who’s huffing and misting and snarling and floating a good three inches off the ground. Good, at least he’s not feeling so pressed to the edge that he needed to lie.

“… I’ll take my own blood.”

Alfred sniffs, and it’s a dignified sound that somehow echoes in this fairly large room. “After your little altercation with Dr. Ivy last week, sir, your own supply is running unfortunately low. Two bags left, and I intend to keep them in case coming out of vampirism treats you poorly. No, sir, you’ll have a mug of Master Richard’s blood or so help me God I will tranquilise you and feed it to you myself.”

Alfred catches himself mid-rampage, and huffs a little while neatening the cuff of his shirt. “Those are your choices, sir. Pick one.”

Reading the room, it’s easy to tell that the hour it took Dick to get here from Bludhaven has likely been filled with that sort of tersely-worded bitching that Alfred and Bruce have down to the finest art. “A couple of pints of blood, Type D, coming right up. Bruce, I’d recommend just giving up right now. If Alfred works down the line, Jason’s coming in next, and that’s gonna end with a fist to the mouth.” Dick brushes crumbs off his hands, and jumps out of the crouch he’d been in on the arm of the sofa to head towards Alfred. “No one’s getting out of that without a broken finger or fang or both, so just take mine, okay? For us.”

Bruce doesn’t deign to actually say yes or fine , just seems to fade into shadows he’s manifesting himself, but it reads like a grumpy acceptance of defeat.

Good enough , thinks Dick. “Give us a sec, we’ll be right back. If you’re extra good, I’ll even make a Bloody Mary out of mine!”

Batarangs aren’t made of silver, but they sure do make a flashy thunk when they bite into a doorjamb a clean 10 feet away from the nearest person.

Alfred huffs a quiet laugh but Dick is much louder and substantially more insulting as they make their way down to the Cave.

The blood fridge is a thing of stainless steel tucked in a corner of the medbay, and it’s covered in magnets. The Wayne brood travel a lot, but Bats and Birds travel even more. It’s become a weird habit that got adopted like kids get adopted ‘round here; Dick looks at a cracked dinosaur magnet he’d bought at the Bludhaven Natural History Museum his first night out as Nightwing, and nostalgia hits harder than teeth in the neck. “We’re gonna need a bigger one of these soon, Alfred. We’re almost out of free real estate.”

“We shall persevere nonetheless, sir.” Alfred opens the fridge, and goes along the top row till he gets to the little placard with Dick’s face on it. The filing system remains sweetly, sweetly old-school, even if everyone knows where theirs is stored by feel alone, and each bag is barcoded with enough details to alarm even the most dedicated phlebotomist.

Looking over the racks, Dick whistles. “Bruce isn’t the only one who’s had a rough time recently, huh? Tim didn’t mention that the last Titans’ fight got him two bags down.”

For that, he gets his ear flicked. “Don’t snoop, Master Richard, it’s unbecoming.” Alfred takes a bag off Dick’s shelf and pops it into a cooler bag. He closes the door, and heads to the kitchenette in the Cave where he scrounges up a little metal straw. “Thank you for coming by so quickly. I was at my wits’ end trying to convince him to have just the littlest nibble. He tried to keep himself locked in the Batmobile when he came back via autopilot.” Alfred rinses the straw with more aggression than necessary. “I tugged on the handle, and the door was locked. A door, locked to me! In my own home!” He sounds as incensed as Alfred ever does, but he also goes to grab some tomato juice and a couple of sticks of celery, just in case.

“You wore him down for me, Alfred, I had it easy.” Dick quietly grabs another couple of bags of his blood, because deep deep down Bruce isn’t the only one hesitant about feeding on family, looks like. “Surprised you’d turn to me for this, though. Seems like more of a Tim thing, have him over with a 50-slide presentation on why vampirism’s really not that different to CPR, or something.” He swoops by Alfred’s side and picks up the cooler bag and the bucket of ice, because there are a lot of stairs from the Cave back up to Yellow, and kind men deserve kind things done on behalf of their creaking knees, thanks very much.

“You certainly have a point, Master Tim can be alarmingly persuasive with his statistics and, ah, unblinking stare.” Alfred doesn’t acknowledge Dick helping him with his things, just looks a little glad to have a hand free to hold on to the handrail, which is acknowledgement enough. “However, I have to admit that when I am at my wits’ end with Master Bruce, I always want to turn to you, Master Dick.” He pauses at the top of the stairs, turns and smiles his neat little smile at Dick who is finding balance harder to maintain than usual. “You have kept me company in my never-ending fight to care for Master Bruce longer than anyone else, after all.”

(Longer, longer, longer even than Bruce’s parents, God love them both.)

Alfred reaches out, pats Dick’s hand and nimbly reacquires his wares. “Do not under any circumstance tell the others, of course, but an old man is allowed his favourite ally.”

Dick is a whole-ass adult who’s lived through more things than people 15 times his age, he’s dressed in a smart suit and tie after an interview for a position as a flight paramedic, and he’s helped ward off the apocalypse at least on three separate occasions.

He knows enough about enough to know that their vampire-magician is deeply, deeply outclassed by Alfred’s mastery over spacetime, because right now Dick knows that if he looks down at himself, he’ll be 9 years old again, wearing oversized pyjamas as he tries not to cry because it’s his birthday and Alfred had made him a stack of pancakes the size of his head, while Bruce skulks by the door holding five separate tubs of ice cream, looking uncomfortable and uncertain and bound and determined to be a responsible parent

(like he’s bound and determined to be a responsible vampire).

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Dick murmurs under his breath, rubbing his cheek to break the spell.

“Language,” Alfred’s voice floats back towards him, as they make their way back to the Yellow Room.

There’s a bit of a scuffle, trying to get Bruce to actually drink the blood. When Dick had casually tossed a bag at Bruce, it had been batted right back at him like the world’s weirdest opening to a game of ping-pong. Another fight almost broke out then, because at least a third of all of Gotham’s collective stubbornness was sat in the room at that point, but Dick managed to force through a resolution by making a Bloody bloody Mary for Bruce, and regular Bloody Marys for himself and Alfred.

They sit where they want, Bruce in his circle, Dick perched on a windowsill, and Alfred on the sofa, and they sip at their meticulously non-identical drinks. They’re on their third round of Bloody Marys and sweet idle conversation when the message comes through that Zatanna’s on her way, and the tension in the room drains as smoothly as they do their drinks.

“Ah, what perfect timing,” Alfred says like he hasn’t worked his way through an alarming amount of vodka. “Just in time for a really early breakfast.”

It’s 3 AM, and hopefully after unraveling vampirism Z will be interested in some god-tier chicken and waffles. Dick’s stomach is already rumbling, and he’s in an unspeakably good mood. It’s a trinity of trinities, three generations of Wayne and Wayne-adjacents, three Bloody Marys each, it’s three o'clock in the morning.

There’s a father, a son, and Alfred counts as their Holiest Ghost, probably. Funny that Bruce has to become unholy to make Dick feel gently religious, though that might be the vodka and dreams of fried chicken futures. “How’re you feeling, Bruce?”

Flushed with blood, Bruce looks healthier and heartier than he does on average, which is a fight to tackle a different night. “… Better,” he admits, digging a fang into a celery stick with an expression of deep concentration. “I could fly if I tried, I think.”

Dick whoops, and nearly drops his glass. “It’s that vitamin D, bay-bee.”

It even earns a chuckle from Alfred, and Dick can feel god in this Yellow Room tonight. “I think,” Dick says with utmost seriousness, “that being a vampire is a good look for you, B. Feels good to get you something, even if it’s just a drink.”

Feels good to be able to provide for you instead of the other way ‘round, is something a more sober Dick would think.

From his corner, Alfred raises his glass in a steady-handed toast. “Just a drink is plenty when just a drink is all you need. So here’s a toast to you, Master Dick. Thank you for coming to our rescue.”

In the middle of a sea of silverware, Bruce raises his glass too, and oh, now Dick’s the one gone red in the face.

“Any time,” he says, and he’s glad to know he means it. “Honestly, this makes me feel like B should get turned into a vampire more often.” There’s a lot of magic in the Manor tonight, and only the tiniest fraction of it has to do with their rogue magician. Dick can’t remember when he last spent this much time with just Alfred and Bruce, and it feels like a loose anchor digging in juuust right.

The world’s in turmoil and his personal life has seen better days, but there’s a tether that comes off from the Manor and these two men. Sometimes, it’s a noose.

More often than not, it’s a lifeline, and what a fine feeling it is to know that that goes both ways.

Dick doesn’t know what’s showing on his face, though by how Bruce is now sat up and intensely staring at him, he’s probably revealing way, way too sopping much.

Bruce clears his throat, and his flush deepens into a rosy, rosy red. “Well. As being a part-time vampire does have its advantages, it’s. Hmm. I will discuss it with Zatanna, and see what I can do.”

And geeze, time-travel magic must be inherited too because Dick’s been forced back to his 9th birthday again, to Bruce Wayne-the-literal-Batman hovering uncertainly while holding way too much ice cream as he tries to accommodate Dick in that stupid, awkward, and hideously embarrassing way only he knows how.

“I’ll toast to that,” Dick says, ignoring the terrible scratch and crack in his voice, and he and Bruce both only nearly lose it when Alfred raises his glass again, and

quietly, quietly

murmurs, “Here’s a toast to my family”.

#batfam #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #family bonding #whale writing #bro i watched a weird japanese tv show last week #and it just left me in the weirdest most off-kilter mood #there literally way no direction for this story #i just like the thought of alfred having different niche categories #he can assign favourites too #and also vampire bruce who can turn to mist but doesn't #bc he was raised right #anyways here's wonderwall

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xiaosmoon · 3 years

Note

hihi! ive been following you for a while now, just too shy to interact hehe- but here is my matchup request! • I am a bisexual female with she/they pronouns (although I dont mind any pronouns, just more comfy with she/they since most ppl refer me as she) • I am an aquarius :]] but if we're getting detailed then im an Aquarius sun with a virgo moon and a Capricorn rising :D • my mbti personality type is ISTP-T • hmmm,, I'm most likely to use claymore :]] I don't really know why but my friends see me as a claymore user so - yeah • likes: soft, fluffy, warm things♡ (totally not describing diluc) and chill music :]] or any kind of music really but chill music is my go-to dislikes: not anything that I know of aside from the usual racist, homophobic people but I guess flying insects count lmao • I am extremely awkward in social situations and I mean extremely awkward BUT! it's a different story when it comes to friends, I am much much much more outgoing and extroverted - often labelled as the clown friend of the group :D oh and I kin kaeya and venti the most if that helps :]] hmm as for hobbies, I really love drawing - and im pretty good at it as I have been drawing ever since I was a little kid, another hobby is just listening to music in general, I often detach from reality (bcuz reality sucks) and daydream a lot so I play a song to fit whatever goes on in my head :O • I don't really mind getting matched with anybody but I do lean more into the males in genshin - the canon adult ones to be specific :]] though I don't mind getting matched with a female too because all the females in genshin are absolute queens congrats on 100! your writing is absolutely lovely and im definitely looking forward to more :D I hope you have a great day <3 oh and take care of yourself if you dont do that already!

ahhh thank you nonnie! <3

your vision & s/o would be...

zhongli

vision: hydro

you and zhongli would match each others energy perfectly

for your first date, i can see him being the classy old fashioned gentlemen he is and taking you for a dinner date!

it's very romantic, and the perfect chance to talk without being too social

he would make sure to book a reservation at your favorite restaurant days in advance and request for a table far away from everyone else, just for you!

he would love to listen to your playlists. he feels like it gives him a better understanding of who you are

you could also talk to him for hours and hours and he would never once get bored; just waiting to hear your next story, or rant, or nothingness. the beautiful sound of your voice is all he wants to hear

he notices that you like drawing, so this man would buy make you a small art studio type thing in his home. he says you can use it whenever you want and even added a few extra personal touches

you could be listening to music while drawing your heart away, and he would be there trying to learn from you!

overall, i see you guys as the cute couple people always point at and awe. you guys just match dynamics and it's always so perfect

#erismatchups

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getallemeralds · 3 years

Text

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

#leo chirps #ttrpg #explorers of arvus #OKAY WE'RE CAUGHT UP NOW sorry abt that lmao

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comptonboole · 3 years

Text

the weirdest/worst interactions ive had in online spaces (just for fun)

(long post under keep reading)

- ive been dm’d every single day of someones dog after they accidentally sent their notes on me to me

- joined a discord server for a rp group im in (still am) and was instantly dm’d and sent images of a horrifying and disgusting pie with a bloody human face. it turned out that was a common greeting in the server, and i helped continue that trend of greeting and even spawned a bootleg of the image w some help from others (its a shitty doodle of the pie)

- ive had people from the official slendytubbies discord randomly dm me from time to time also, thinking and acting like i should know them when i really dont in the slightest.

- in that same vein sometimes i’ll be @’d in the slendytubbies discord by the spanish speaking audience who are laughing at my nickname in the server ( its “dick inspector penisbitch” if ur curious)

- encouraged a no-longer friend to steal a concept from someone and then post it in a contest where the other persons concept was also entered.

- been repeatedly dm’d telling me my fav is actually a terrorist and cult leader (with no proof)

- accidentally started beef with this adult artist whilst i and some friends were minors (i was around.. 15? friends where 16 and 14) because we didnt like her oc, and instead of talking to us maturely like we tried to do with her. she brought her boyfriend in to mock, insult and harass us

- same adult then got one of us banned from an art server and the other two (including me) were warned and had to explain ourselves because the adult used out of context screenshots

- turns out later on the artists boyfriend liked nsfw of underage characters so lol

- have been harassed out of an art server for not liking daisy and feeling impartial to her being in smash, and then venting later about how i was being insulted and belittled for liking waluigi and wanting him in smash

- watched in real time as a friend got banned from a server for more out of context screenshots this time from a mod who claimed they were harassing them, when there was in fact no proof.

- went to someone in dms worried about them after they admitted they’ve brought up how awful a discord server has been to them that they’ve even brought it up to their therapist. wanted to check in on them and suggested they take a break from the server. they then went on to add my conversation to a masterpost that was calling a bunch of people out for.. planning to hack the server???

- oh yeah i was accused of trying to stage an entire hacking of a discord server, with some people i’d never really spoken to. the most involvement i had was being in a server with some people where we ranted about our problems with a server. and by the composer of a game no less!

#long post under tags #these arent even all the weird fucking interactions ive had either lol #DONT JOIN DISCORD SERVERS! WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE #i love it goes from goofy to what the fuck

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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surveys by -thoughtlessdork

Have you ever had the chicken pox? Yeah, back when I was 7.

how often do you do laundry? I personally don’t do it because I have help with certain things like that, but it gets done like once a week. I have a lot of clothes.

Have you ever been evicted? Nope.

would you grow your own garden? Nah. I don’t have the green thumb. Or the energy or interest in even trying.

do you know anyone who snores? Yeah.

what is your favorite font? I like Times, Ariel, Verdana, Tahoma, and Georgia.

do you know what a wombat is? I’m familiar with the name and know it’s an animal of some kind, but I couldn’t pick one out of a lineup.

would you make a good movie critic? No, I’m horrible at describing...anything. My movie reviews are like, “Omg, it was soooo good! Amazing cast, intriguing storyline. 10/10 recommend.” haha. Or on the flip side, “Uh, wtf did I just watch? 10/10 would not recommend. Super lame.”

what goal are you aiming for this year? Well, right now I’m just trying to get better from this infection I have and take this disgusting antibiotic for the next 10 days. I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m still not, but I kinda have to. I’m not getting into it all over again, I made a lengthy rant in a previous recent survey, but basically it’s absolutely awful because I have to crush my pills and this pill is d i s g u s t i n g. My body revolts it when I take it and I have to fight to keep the damn thing down. My body is also dramatic and I don’t do well with nasty tasting things (I mean, most people don’t, but they can probably just suck it up and chug whatever it is or eat it really quickly and move along barely fazed at all... not me). It’s just causing a lot of stress and anxiety and makes me feel worse than the illness because of it and yeah. Not fun. Unfortunately, that’s my only option unless I want to spend a week in the hospital to receive the medicine through an IV and that sounds awful as well. Ha, so much for not getting into all over again. *shrug*

are you currently reading any books at the moment? Not at the moment. I just finished one a few days ago, though, and plan to start a new one soon.

when i say foxy lady what comes to mind? Beyoncé’s character in the Austin Powers movie she was in lol; her name was Foxxy. <<< Hahaha yep.

would you have liked to have lived during the Victorian times? No.

would you own a Siamese cat? No, but I’m just not a cat person.

have you ever had an ultimate adrenaline rush? No.

do you like deviled eggs? I’ve never had them; it’s not a common dish here. But they always look so good in the American shows I watch??? I really hope they taste as good as they look. <<< I think they do! I love ‘em.

what tends to upset you? Upsetting news.

what's the farthest you've walked? All around San Francisco. It’s a big city and the streets and sidewalks go up and down at high slants, so it’s no easy feat.

what is your favorite horror movie? I enjoy several, but my top favorites are the Halloween, Scream, and It movies.

what does your favorite shirt look like? I love all my graphic tees.

is your life like a daily routine? It very much is.

were you ever told as a child if you eat carrots you'll have pretty eyes? Not pretty eyes, but strong eyes.

what career are you most interested in? I don’t know. :/

have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah.

what time do you usually wake up? Lately, it’s been really all over the place. I don’t know what’s going on with my body.

what do you think about religion? I believe in Christianity.

what made you feel most accomplished in your life so far? Graduating college with my BA was my biggest accomplishment. Probably always will be.

have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? No.

what are you allergic to? Tangerines and typical seasonal allergies.

do you ever feel like people hold things you do or say against you? Yes.

what can't you afford but wish you could? A beach home.

what is one word that sums up this year so far? Shitty?

ever felt like you were putting your life in danger? Yes.

what do you like with your eggs? I like scrambled eggs with cheese, green onions, and spinach, or with just country gravy. I like over-easy eggs with just pepper. I like hardboiled eggs as is or with just a little bit of salt. I like deviled eggs with mayo, mustard, and paprika.

what remedy do you partake when experiencing the common cold? The good ol’ wait-for-it-to-go-away life hack. <<< Yep. Cold medicines can help alleviate some of the symptoms a little, although I personally find they don’t really help at all except for if I have a headache. I honestly don’t usually bother taking any cold medicines. I think teas can be soothing and can make me feel a little more relaxed. Ultimately, though, it’s just something you’re gonna have for at least a week or so regardless.

would you ever spend a weekend in the mountains in a log cabin? Not alone, but yes absolutely. That sounds amazing.

have you ever been called a psycho? No.

have you ever taken martial arts? would you? No.

who is someone you look up to? My mom.

is there something you're anxious about? Of course. Ongoing things and new things.

what is the longest you've gone without sleep? Like 36 hours.

what is the longest you've been on the phone? I used to spend a few hours on the phone often with friends back when I was in middle school and some of high school. It still surprises me that I used to do that because of how much I hate talking on the phone now and have for a long time.

do you care about calories? No.

do you know someone with a really annoying laugh? No.

what band do you mostly always listen to no matter what mood? Linkin Park.

have you ever been to Indianapolis? Nope.

what type of bread do you like to eat? Wheat, white, sourdough, croissant.

do you have any great great grandparents still living? No.

what is one country that you really want to visit someday? Sweden.

who usually cooks or what do you usually crave the most? That’s two different questions, but okay. In my household, it’s usually my mom or brother that cooks. My dad does sometimes. As for what I crave the most, it’s ramen and boneless wings from Wingstop.

ever been associated in a program that was a complete waste of time? Hm. Not that I can think of at the moment.

do weird numbers call your phone? Sometimes.

where are you right now? On my bed wrapped in my blanket. I love that it’s finally cold here. It even rained yesterday *chef’s kiss*

do you tend to care about other people's feelings more than your own? I most definitely do.

what type of lifestyle do you want to obtain? if you haven't obtained it? I don’t know.

what was something that use to frighten you as a child? Ghostface from Scream. I love those movies now, though.

have you ever been on a train? Nope.

who's been in your life the longest? did you expect this person to still be around? My family.

how do you feel about anatomy? Uhhh. It’s complex and pretty crazy how it all works.

Insert interesting fact here: Nah.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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chnsfairy · 5 years

Text

name please ? | han jisung

words ; 3,441

genre ; fluff, a bit of crack

requested ; yes, who prompt 1;iv ( @skzrequests )

warnings ; barista!reader, guitarist!jisung, like two curse words

a/n ; ok so i bent the prompt juST a lil bit but it has the same general idea and i think it turned out ok so i hope you enjoy it lovely !

m.list in bio

“you know y/n, one day you’re gonna have to learn how to make latte art properly,, (￣￣|||)” woojin complains before once again guiding your hand over the small mug which at this point is just a huge mess

“and on your own”

(￣ε￣＠) (￣ε￣＠) meanie

“you’ve been what ? working here for half a year and you still dont know how-” woojin tried to continue, but unfortunately for him, his attempt to teach you how to correctly use steamed milk has come to a crashing halt as a loud bang followed by groans was heard by the front door

you turned on your heel and headed towards the front of the counter,, trying to figure out what exactly caused the ruckus in the usually peaceful coffee shop

excluding your’s and woojin’s bickering in the back

“uhhhh excuse me ???” you ask,, carefully peering over to the giant mess that was now on the floor

“you ok sir ?” (・人・)

sprawl across the floor, carrying a guitar case, it seemed as if the stranger misinterpreted both the speed he was entering the door at and the size of the case,, cause it seemed he got caught at the door ahfjksadhfkjsa poor kid (｡╯︵╰｡)

he came dressed in some simple ripped light jeans, white t-shirt, and light jacket, plus his fluffy brown hair messily laying atop his head as if he just got out of bed

i mean who knows maybe he did

yes he did

“aH ! im um,, so sorry im late....”

after finally collecting himself the stranger stood up and picked up his guitar case,, pink tinting his face from embarrassment and like...you know... he kinda cute (*/ω＼)

no tea no shade

especially when he started messing with his already messy hair yeah there was no use trying to fix that mess but uWU LOOK AT HIS CHEEKS AND SPARKLY BROWN EYES AHHH !!!! (/▽＼*)｡o○♡

woah woah there cool in y/n he just walked in

it’s not your fault he just happens to be absolutely adorable

but maybe it would be best to stop staring at him,,,,

when the boy started walking towards the counter you found yourself quickly shuffling behind woojin, who was now confused, as you pushed him up front to handle with the newcomer,,

CAUsE SORRY BUT THERE WAS NO WAY YOU WERE GOING TO BE GETTING THROUGH A FULL CONVERSATION WITHOUT MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF SO WHY DONT WE STOP THAT POSSIBILITY NOW

“hi so i was hired a couple days ago to play a few nights a week ?? this is the right place yeah ? im sure i got the address right....if n-”

woojin interrupted his ramblings before he could continue any further,, bless him

“ oh !! so thats who the boss was talking about !! yeah let me just head back to make eveything’s in order, um y/n can you get him a drink or something ?”

walking away from you he left you completely exposed,, giving the other boy across from you an awkward laugh you grabbed woojin’s shirt quickly to stop him from leaving

“woojin you didnt tell me we were getting a new guitarist !!” you whispered harshly

“ᵒʳ ᵃ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ ᵒⁿᵉ”

“well sorry i didnt think it was important ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

“does our friendship mean nothing to you”

woojin laughs quietly as he walks through the the door leaving you alone with the cafe’s new guitarist who just so happens to be looking like a whole ass model

“so um,, ” you started nervously,, mAN who thought this one person you make you so fLUSTERED JHASKKSAFKL

“want anything to drink ?”

after staring at menu up on the wall for a couple seconds the guitarist gave you a small smile JHFJKAGJISFIJEHUIGH before nodding his head

“sure can i have an iced latte ?”

out of habit you immediately asked “name please ?”

“oh you know... just your friendly neighborhood squirrel”

(・・ ) ? (・・ ) ? (・・ ) ?

you eyed the boy who was now leaning up against the counter smiling to himself

“i- oh come on wh-”

“thats the name,, you better write it down”

sighing to yourself you carefully wrote it down,, not necessarily sure if you even need to but who cares

as the musician pulled out his wallet to pay you put up your hand to stop him

cause no way you were letting this cute boy pay for his drink

plus he’s an employee as well

“it’s on the house”

“no please let me pay for it ( `ε´ )”

“nope”

so without anyone else there to help, you stepped away from the register and started prepare this strange guitarist’s drink

quietly laughing to yourself as you do so

moments later woojin walks back through the door and out from behind the counter and motions for mystery boy to follow him towards the small stage the cafe had

it was small and shoved into a corner, all wooden as most of the cafe was and it was covered with many different plants and decorated with fairy lights

vv aesthetic if you do say so yourself

then in the center of it was a stool and microphone for performer to set up with and use when they were performing

a couple months ago you had a band play here on friday’s so you had some other equipment in the back but it seemed unnecessary for a simple acoustic guitar

you watched as the boy looked at the fairy lights and the actually quiet beautiful set up in awe

the musician started to unpack his guitar case as you finished off his drink and started walking towards the stage where woojin was showing him where everything was

“you know now that i really think about it ‘squirrel’ kinda suits you”

the sparkly eyed boy laughed as you handed him his drink,, unknowing of what you should say you ended up standing there awkwardly for a few seconds before realizing there was another customer back at the register

“ah- i should,, probably go” you said jabbing your thumb towards the counter before awkwardly heading back

what was tHAT AHHH !! STOP BEING SO WEIRD Y/N OK

ITS REALLY NOT YOUR FAULT HIS HAIR JUST LOOKS PERFECT AND HIS EYES ARE BRIGHT AND HIS SMILES CUTE AND OK TIME TO STOP NOPE NOPE NOPE

you dont even know his name....(｡•́︿•̀｡) (｡•́︿•̀｡) (｡•́︿•̀｡)

lil thot wont give it to you

but thats ok

if he wants to play it like this then thats fINE

you can deal with that

hopefully....

by the time you had finished helping out the other customer you started to hear the sweet sound of an acoustic guitar being played throughout the coffee shop

“you know he’s not half bad,,,”

woojin had returned from helping the musician get settled and soon found his regular spot on a stool in the corner

“yeah,, he’s pretty good isn’t he”

and then a few minutes later you found yourself completely absorbed in the brunette’s angelic voice filling the shop, his guitar only making it even more beautiful

your staring was soon interrupted by woojin pushing you off to the side so he could help a lady who had walked in about a minute ago,, which you hadn’t realized (＞﹏＜) oops

“y/n would you like to go take your break ?”

(´♡‿♡`) (´♡‿♡`) (´♡‿♡`)

!!!!!

“ can i ???”

woojin motioned you to go once again,, and as you were already so distracted it wouldn’t have made much of a difference

you found yourself sitting at an empty table in the corner,, you’ve heard some other guitarists perform many times in your life but this one takes the cake

you’re not too sure what it is about him but,,, he just looked and sounded so sincere with every word he sang ??? the guitar and him looked like they were a single creature,, knowing exactly how to work as one

it was just really beautiful

he was playing a cover of a song you’ve heard a few times before called ‘better days’ by jaie,, he also seemed to have ended up adding some extra elements to fit his voice better and overall it made an incredible impact

almost everyone else in the cafe had their eyes on the musician singing up front who looked so immersed in his music there would’ve been no time for stage fright

“i’ve had my better days, and you’ve had your better days too” he sang quietly

soon after the song had ended there was a light applause from the customers in the coffee shop,, including you who soon.... realized that you need a paycheck....

yeah ok the cute boy is gonna have to wait we gotta get that bread kids

(╥_╥) (╥_╥)

after making the short walk back to your position behind the counter where woojin found his spot once again on his stool until he had to go make up some drinks you started to hear an acoustic version of million dollar man by lana del rey flow through the cafe

it was simple and elegant and you felt kinda sad you couldnt sit and watch :(((((

there was only a couple hours left before you had to close up so you guess it wasnt that bad,, at least you got to listen to some pretty music during the normally slow and quiet closing shift

honestly at this rate you might fall asleep if the guitarist kept the atmosphere this peaceful,, i mean you weren’t complaining bUT THAT PROBABLY WOULDN’T LOOK GOOD TO THE BOSS

so instead you ended up reading for the most of the time until all the customers had all left and woojin had begun wiping down tables and sweeping floors as mystery boy packed up his guitar and papers

then after you finished cleaning up the counter and throwing all the trash out back you collected your own belongings and changed back into your own plain jeans and sweatshirt before clocking out for the day

as you headed back towards the front you saw woojin talking to the unnamed guitarist and waved at the pair before finally walking out the door and into the early spring air

“bye jinnie !! i’ll see you tomorrow !”

nodding his head woojin continued to chat with the brunette as you started heading down the block and towards your apartment

man,,, why did he have to be so cute ??! >:((((

its not fAIR HE DIDNT EVEN TELL YOU HIS NAME HES MEANNN

(ノ_<、) you’ll have to get it from him tomorrow

aAAH even if it’s the last thing you have to do

ok so maybe you went to sleep thinking about the sparkly eyed boy who played beautiful guitar and had an aMAZING voice but like ajdhjsahd who wouldn’t

the next day was mainly the same,,, you had your regulars and a few newcomers who just so happened to be in the neighborhood and stopped in for a drink

and of course the guitarist walked back into the shop a little after 4,, this time slightly more put together

his hair was styled a bit and looked even better but how the fuck is that possible,, today he was also wearing a leather jacket over a yellow hoodie and black jeans

although you hadn’t realized he’d come in yet ahjksfhasdjk

but when you finally looked up you were pleasantly surprised

but jeSUS HI YOU’VE SEEN WHAT AN ANGEL LOOKS LIKE BYE YOU CAN GO TO HELL NOW YEET

“what are you a ninja ? ”

“yes y/n,, i am in fact a ninja ”

“hEY WHY DO YOU KNOW MY NAME >:CCCCCC”

its nOT FAIR hE JUST- HNGGG

“it’s on your name tag”

“oh yeah”

you slightly pouted at the boy in front of you who had become slightly amused by your reaction,, you were cute uwu

“and what would you like today ?” you proceeded as you tried to keep the conversation going

“hmm how about a cappuccino”

he responded after a couple of seconds

“nO i cANT DO THE FANCY ART THINGYYY (╥﹏╥)”

you sighed once again before talking out a paper cup sharpie in hand

“and name ?”

"you said it yourself,,, im a ninja”

you laughed again before rolling your eyes as you scribbled down ‘ninja’ on the cup

“you’re funny you know that ?”

the male shrugged his shoulders and picked up his guitar case once again

“actually no beCAUSE MY JOKES ARE NEVER APPRECIATED”

he then laughs hysterically before heading back towards the lit stage,, leaving you puzzled

“heY uM woojin ????” you needed to find that man to help do the steamed milk,,, or maybe the whole drink all together

luckily he just came back from his break when you shoved the paper cup into his hands

“ninja ?”

“dont ask. pretty art. make. plEASE ? (ಥ﹏ಥ)” you had started tugging on your friends sleeve because you just really didnt want to give a cute boy a cappuccino without pretty art on it :(((

“fine fine fine,, but this is the LAST time,,, im teaching you this weekend i swear...”

“woojin i loveeeee youuuu” (´ ε ` )♡

“(￢_￢) i know”

minutes later after the musician had gotten set up and with his pretty decorated cappuccino the sweet sound of his voice and guitar filled the air,, having all other customers in the room turn their heads to find exactly where it was coming from

especially as he started doing a cover of instagram by dean,, which was yA KNOW AMAZING

he continued to play for a couple hours until you had to close up,, although every so often he ended up glancing your way,, to find that you were also watching he quickly turned away as he felt his face heat up (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

lucky you,, he didnt see you freak out at the exact same time

and thats basically how it went every day for a while

the still unnamed guitarist would walk in some time after 4, ordered a drink and then played for a couple hours before it was time to close up

nothing out of the ordinary

i mean maybe nOT GIVING HIS NAME

CAUSE GODDAMNIT YOU’RE GETTING ANNOYED BY ALWAYS WRITING SOME RANDOM NAME ON HIS CUP

HE CUTE OK YOU WANNA KNOW HIS NAME AHHHH

oh why dont you ask, you question ????

YOU’VE TRIED

“ok real name this time”

“y/n i’ve already told you”

ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ NO

“well tell me again”

“yeah i decided that it changed today”

sighing you completely gave up on this argument and motioned back to the sharpie in your hand

“kermit the frog.” he said before crossing his arms in a fake pout

“fuck you i love kermit the frog”

“oh i didn’t know you loved me”

((╬◣﹏◢)) aAHHHH NDHFJKJK WHY CANT HE JUST LEAVE YOUR HEART ALONE ALREADY HUH

“nO I- HNGG T^T ....φ(・∀・*)”

you once again angrily scribbled down this boys fake name,, damn you just wanted to knoW AHHH !!! (╥﹏╥)

those were days where five minute arguments were involved with the name picking yet there were others that lasted only 30 seconds

“ __〆(￣ー￣ ) and name please ?”

“ironman”

“yeah no im just leaving this here today”

so after a couple weeks it was just a thing between the two of you

it was your bit per-say

ok maybe you have a tiny crush on the guy but like ???? who wouldn’t ???? he’s just AHhfhasjkf

words cant properly explain it

the two of you clicked almost immediately and you dont feel as if it would be completely wrong to call him a friend

except most friends know each other’s name...so there’s that bit to work out

iF HE WOULD JUST GIVE IT TO YOU

so after a month of random names on paper cups you had a mission today to get this cute boy’s name on his drink today >:(

“ok please please please please please please your name????”

he gave you another one of his bright smiles before simply saying “han”

(￣_￣)・・・ “han what?”

“just han”

(¯ . ¯٥) the lil liar

you know it’s a last name you’re nOT STUPID

“it’s my stage name”

“＼＼٩(๑`^´๑)۶／／ WELL THAT DOESN’T COUNT”

“TOO BAD Y/N”

you pouted once again at your failed attempt to get his real name,,, the meanie,,, why does he tease you like this >:ccc

but you gotta get paid so you grumpily write down his stage name on the cup as he walked over to the stage

“get his name yet ?” woojin comes up from behind you as you hand him the cup

“no :((( bUT why cant you tell me ????”

“i’ve been sworn to secrecy”

“wHY IS KEEPING A NAME A SECRET” you argue as you watch woojin prepare the drink

“because he finds you cute when you get flustered like this”

“bECAUSE IT’S JUST A NAME LIKE- wait what (・・ ) ”

“oops that was another secret soRRy”

you turned back around and grabbed your friends shoulders and shook him probably a bit too violently

“WOOJIN YOU DONT KEEP THINGS LIKE THIS FROM YOUR BEST FRIEND OK WE HAVE A PACT”

“what pact ?????”

“it was an unspoken pact.”

“thEN HOW AM I- you know what never mind i shouldn’t question your insanity” he waved you off so he could finish making ‘han’s drink leaving you both flustered and confused behind the counter as his guitar soon started filling the empty sounding coffee shop

about two hours later there only remained a few other people left so you decided to take your break for the evening as by now there probably wouldnt be much to do

soon a new song had started playing throughout the cafe and your head turned to see the guitarist giving you a shy smile

it was one you had never heard before so the gentle acoustic guitar and han’s comforting voice drew you back towards one of the shop’s tables where you then sat until all other customers ended up leaving

as the two of you were completely unaware of woojin cleaning up the shop, han continued playing and you continued listening to the mystery song before woojin shouted from the back room, forcing you to break eye contact and awkwardly smile at the guitarist

“y/n im clocking you out ok ?!”

“ ok !!” you shouted back before once again turning towards han who was now packing up his case

“what was that last song?”

he muscician scratched the back of his neck before laughing sightly

“uhh it was an original although i haven’t actually titled it yet,, i just wanted to test it out”

“oh wow !! well it was really good, you have my approval ☆⌒(≧▽° )”

“woah really ? thank you that mean a lot...”

(・人・) (・人・) (・人・)

ok woojin it would be great if you could just walk in here and break the awkward silence by now hnNG

“jisung”

∑(O_O;)

“sorry what ??”

“han jisung,,, thats my name”

(O.O)(O.O)

“i think you deserve it by now”

Σ(°ロ°) Σ(°ロ°) Σ(°ロ°)

“aWE A CUTE NAME FOR A CUTE BOY LOOK-”

oh shit (o_O)

well you certainly did not mean to say that out loud

“oops sorry heheheheh”

jisung was GONE

this barista who he had been secretly pining over for a month just called him cute all his insides are just HJSADHKJAKDSA

help the poor boy

his stomach is doing flips as we speak

i mean he couldn’t just leave it as is

cOME ON WHERE’S YOUR CONFIDENCE ヾ(。＞＜)シ

“so um,, does that mean i can take you out to coffee sometime ?”

(;;;*_*) (;;;*_*)

“although unless you dont want to-”

“yes.”

“i get that like you kinda just learned my name”

“yes.”

“not too sure why that was kept a secret so long but- what?”

“jisung 1. ahhh cute name, 2. yes, i’d love to (／。＼)”

jisung gave you another one of his adorable bright smiles that felt as if it could light up a whole room,, which is did as always,, although this time he looked almost even happier

and for once you went to sleep without racking your brain for ideas as to what his name could be

bonus ;

“although if you give them something other than your name i will leave”

“y/n”

“like did me saying ‘name please ?’ cause you to freak out or something ?? honestly i’m very curious”

“wELL when it just so happens to be someone looking very cute...yes i did,,,,”

“aWWEEE JISUNG”

362 notes · View notes

fisherfurbearer · 4 years

Text

fuck sam walmarts

and fuck management

I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.

as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.

this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares

basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.

decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track

today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in

i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch

i gott my first break on timeish.

then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok

really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of

anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while

but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk

i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD

nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone

im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,

manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry

and theyy just. fckkng

ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”

i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh

this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...

she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt

andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????

andd i jjst

ive HAD IT with her

ive had ittt

im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that

then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome

ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.

i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD

I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO

i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow

she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas

i d ont know what to doo

i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh

ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff

i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww

i jjst dont know what to doo...

i cantt stop cryingg

i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.

last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash

goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.

#jjst...ffeels like shes violating somethingg #and treating me a LOT like how my abusive mother used to treat me #why are you CRYING? you cant be trying here. this is a BUSINESS.#is a lot like Why Do You look so MISERABLE all the time?? why are you CRYING??#and shit like IGNORING ME when i try to change my hours #straight up ignoring me #she basically made it clear shed rather me QUIT than fuckingg chop 2 hours off my AVAILABILITY #ITS SO FRUSTRATING #AND SHES SUCH A HYPROCRITE #scheduled 7-2 every sunday!!#yet you cant change my availability to 7-7??#you NEED ot keep it until 9???#but working until 9 and getting home around 10 and getting no sleep because i need to take care of my pets and myself #and get up at 5:30 the next morning for work at 7 #WHEN THAT COULD EASILY BE ALTERED BY CHIPPING A COUPLE HOURS OFF MY AVAILABILITY #AND MY DOCTOR ALSO THINKS I NEED TO CHANGE IT TOO #BUT WHO FUCKING CARES RIGHT ITS A BU S I N E S S #SURE SURE BUT WHEN A CUSTOMER FLIPS THE SIGN ON A $7.94 SHIRT #TO SAY 0.94 CENTS #WITH THE CENTS SIGN!!!!#THEN I HA V E TO HONOR IT #THATS A+ BUSINESS RIGHT THERE #BITCH DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO APPROVE A COUPON ON SLEF CHECKOUT!!!!#AND OUR FRICKING STORE MAANGER MAKES TRIPLE FIGURES!!!#BUT NO ONE FUCKINGG CARES #NO ONE FUCKING CARES #I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMOREE #id dont want to have to lose my job and stability over this one person #but this isntt...ok #i shouldnt have to go to work and deal with MORE emotional abuse

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4chanbf · 4 years

Note

All asks

Thank you Lily!!

angel; do you have a nickname?

I dont even have a name lmao, but some ppl call me Olive, that makes me so happy

awe; how old are you?

Im 13

baby; favorite color?

Black and red

bloop; spirit animal?

Rat? idk?

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

I dont even know:/ sorry

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

A cow!! i still have him i made him some kandi actually

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

Ehmm, i dont even know

bright; mermaids or fairies?

FAIRIES

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

I have some pretty close friends, but idk if i have a best friend

buttercup; showers or baths?

Showers

butterfly; dream destination?

Idk really

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

I dont really know lol

calm; favorite scent?

Green apples are pretty nice smelling?

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

I dont remember much, however i was in this room and it had some children in it. They were like, not born or something? Society hated all of them and they were like made wrong or something bc it was a society where ppl were made like robots? anyways they were all pretty fragile and they could die easily, i dont remember any of them but this one girl, she was around 14 years old, she was tall and pale and she had long straight hair. it was like a grayish blonde color. she didnt have any eyes but where her left eye should be there was this black bead thingy? she didnt feel very good, i think she was preparing to die actually

charming; have you ever been in love?

I dont know jcjdmxm

cozy; eye/hair color?

Im a ginger:( also my eyes are like brown or something

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

Idk, i just like vampires

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

I like black roses?

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

I got a game for my switch :D

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

My bunny backpack lol

cutsie; what makes you happy?

My friends and ice coffee and music

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

Lmao never jjmhm

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

As a boy

daylight; favorite album of all time?

Three cheers for sweet revenge maybe?

dear; zodiac sign?

Cancer

delightful; concerts or museums?

Ive actually never been to a concert :(

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

Think so?

dobby; dream job?

Artist i think

doll; how do you like to dress?

I dress like a lesbian

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

No :’(

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

Ehm i think so

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

I used to have a pretty extreme alien phase. I better say yes i dont wanna betray 9 year old me

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

Ehm i love my friends? One of my best friends i love a lot, hes always there for me when im feeling not so good. also hes very funny i love talking to him and i really hope ill get to meet him one day!

fairy; do you have a pet?

Yes i have a dog!!

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

OCEAN

forever; where do you feel time stop?

I never really feel like that :(

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

No :( my poor plants :(

garden; how many languages do you know?

I speak english and danish, but im currently learning german!

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

My friends?

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

Im obsessed with scenecore

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

Yes!! theyre so much fun!

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

1. I treat other ppl well mostly

yeah i hate everything else about me lmao

heart; silk or lace?

Lace, silk is making me shiver just from thinking of it

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

Ice coffeeeee!! i am gay

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

I really like both? i dont really care

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

RAIN

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

RAIN! AND THUNDER

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

Be in my room and cry while listening to music. sometimes i draw or play videogames too

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

My laugh is fucking ugly. also i snort when i laugh and my friends keep pointing it out

kinky; do you blush easily?

Yea i think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

Idk i just want a hug

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

When im in my bed on my phone and im just talking to ppl before i sleep. or when im drinking ice coffee

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

Mcr or pierce the veil or slipknot

love; what is your favorite season and why?

I hate all seasons

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

Dark chockolate i think (i know i cant spell njnjm)

magic; what are five flaws you have?

1. Im annoying

2. Im treating myself like shit

3. I look very ugly and like a girl

4. None of the things i used to love makes me happy anymore really

5. Im stupid and i cant focus

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

PASTELS

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

They are nice and cute and loves me as much as i love them uwuwuw

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

I dont really know, im tiredd

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

On my phone. listening to music. being sad

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

Idk i feel like i dont improve, i only get worse

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

Cooking!

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

Ugly. also i draw an x instead of . and the dot over i

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

I do own a uke! cant play tho

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

Im pretty bad at that lmao

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

Kiwi? idk, i like berries tho

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

Idk, i feel like jared, 19 so fucking much

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

Idk

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

That one time i accidently listened to mama by mcr, and then i was like “o shit im trans”

shine; art or music?

Yes?

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

Hmmh, kinda

smitten; do you collect anything?

Kandi!!

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

Sour candy

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

Kandi

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

Both

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

Headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Steven universe

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

My bed

soothe; digital or vinyl?

Vinyl!

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

A hug lmao

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

That they listen. and if we can be idiot dumbasses together thats nice too

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

aesthetically pleasing

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

Ahaha no

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

I like funny kids. not the annyoing ones. dont think i want some tho

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

Misters chemical romance

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

Idek

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

The friend who makes a little too many jokes about wanting to die. Also the friend who never shows up bc im too busy being sad lmao

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

Had a very nice conversation with a friend. that was very appreciated

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

Both. thats not good

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

SHAPESHIFTING IM TRANS

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

I love being in my room, but sometimes i really dont want to be here

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

Nope

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

Messy

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

I cant wait to get the fuck out of here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

Yep

Thanks for the ask :) this took a long time nndjc

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