#like a complete dick

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

OMFG Madame de Pompadour from doctor who is Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds?!!!

#why did no one tell me #everyone probably knew this #but in my defense #i was 3 when thunderbirds came out #and 5 when girl in the fireplace aired #thunderbirds movie #thunderbirds 2004 #doctor who #tenth doctor #the girl in the fireplace #doctor who 2006 #i mean fwiw #she’s an absolutey terrible person irl #like a complete dick #i just couldn’t believe i’d never noticed #i’m dumb #bloody love thunderbirds though #listen to thunderbirds by busted #that’ll do #ok bye #lmao #WAIT #i googled just to make sure this was 100% true #why did she date #CHARLES FUCKING DANCE #he’s SO OLD #that’s insane #this has been riveting #now i’m actually done

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff #but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me #its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university #but some ppl dont even get that chance #maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick #but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw #📼

[mayasaura]

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel #not knowing is one thing #erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different #like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way #and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr' #but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth #and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic' #and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience' #relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge #anyway. tl;dr: #if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!! #if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually #but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick #the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth

[reineydraws]

thinking about the panels where robin jason is mostly made of cape!!! precious baby. tiny bean. absolutely adorable. ✨️✨️✨️

#dc #dc fanart #batfamily #batfamily fanart #jason todd #robin #jason todd robin #batman #dick grayson #wayne family adventures #robin dc #dc robin #red hood #robin jason todd #robin ii #bruce and jason #bruce wayne #all those robins look like like they could be a sticker sheet haha :') #this is not a v day post 😅 i always forget about v day soz #i always have plans to draw one of my ships and then end up forgetting them in favour of something else completely different #bad timing i suppose #oops #tho i suppose this can be like. family love sort of v day. #jason's sick. comes to the manor. they all hang out with him (he's masked) with heart boxes of chocolate around. it's all very cute. #btw i meant for that arrow to denote jason himself is sick (not feeling well) #but after making this pist ive realized that it could be interpreted as the blanket itself being sick. im okay with this. #blanket capes are dope. #post* oops haha #jason no longer wears a cape bc he knows he will lose all his street cred when he does

[nerdpoe]

Danny needs help. Danny needs the Ancient of Justice.

Only one small problem; there isn't one.

Or at least, there isn't one yet.

The previous Ancient of Justice had been Pariah Dark, and after seeing so many injustices he had gone mad, and sought to fix the Infinite Realms through force.

But Clockwork assures Danny that there's an Ancient of Justice in the works, he's just still mortal at the moment.

Danny...really can't wait for the guy to die to ask for assistance. The Demons only deal in absolutes, and he needs someone like the Ancient of Justice on his side to help him with the weird double speak they insist on using.

Otherwise, they'll bamboozle him into more territory and displace more ghosts.

So he hunts the not-an-Ancient yet down.

Which is how Batman finds himself being stared down by a teenager with vividly glowing green eyes.

"Listen up, you're gonna be a God when you die and I need you to cash in those God Powers early; demons are getting uppity and they keep talking circles. I need you to make them listen."

The kid has black hair, is too skinny, his clothes are scuffed and dirty, and is clearly living in a vivid fantasy to escape from his harsh reality of being homeless.

The eyes speak of a clear Lazarus Contamination, and the stance speaks of someone who is trained to fight.

So he asks the only thing he can think to.

"...Are you hungry?"

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #Jason on the comms screaming at him to step away from the kid Bruce holy shit you've got enough #Dick whispering about how this is a mini Jason completely in awe #Tim dryly advising to keep the mini Jay away from any clown paraphernalia #Damian suspiciously quiet #Barbara asks if he's planning on killing the new kid #he just says that the kid looks far too skinny #then they realize oh no #the adoption tendency is genetic #danny would really like for bruce to get on board and help him finish up those negotiations #too bad for him bruce is convinced he's delusional from lack of food and sleep #danny's just tired and dirty from searching literally all of gotham

[bluegiragi]

konig: why was that attractive

support me on patreon (nsfw)

#konig is evaluating a few things #give him some time he'll come to the same conclusion weve all come to #eventually #also please note ghosts reaction to seeing konigs face #i think konigs relationship to the hood and helmet is a lot less dependent that ghost's on his mask #but ghost doesnt know that #his immediate reaction is to leave because he feels bad for barging in #i just #want to emphasise that #hes not COMPLETELY a dick in this #<3 #i love you simon #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #like #hes mentioned #konig #cod mw2 #giragi art #ghost x konig #ghost x konig x soap #eventual

[somecunttookmyurl]

if you want actual like on god for real actually exist you can see the papyri/tablets very incredibly cute egyptian letters absolutely go read translations of the amarna letters between king amenhotep III and his absolute bestest best friend in the whole wide world king tushratta of mitanni

#an fyi before you do: egyptians said 'i love you' and were very dramatic about it VERY freely #this isnt a 'haha they were SUUUHC GOOD FRIEEEEEEEENDS' moment egyptians were just like that #amenhotep was INCREDIBLY drunk on loving his wife juice to the extent his secondary wives were merely ceremonial positions #by all accounts he was monogamous and incredibly cute about his (commoner) wife #but he and tushratta referred to eachother as brothers and tush was DEVESTATED when amenhotep died #and wrote to queen tiye saying that he would love his son (amenhotep IV aka akhenaten) as if he were amenhotep III #because his best friend lived on in his son #and was basically like 'my son now i love him so much btw' #and then akhenaten completely fucked it by leaving him on read forever which is so sad and also biggest dick move #akhenaten apologists dont interact

[moghedien]

if you raise the egg with Lae'zel and stay in Faerun, she'll mention to you in the epilogue that he's being watched by "your newest allies" who she "trusts completely" tonight and just immediately wondering who that could possibly be that Lae'zel would trust completely to watch your son.

and it just made me think, that if you're playing a Tav who isn't an orphan, maybe has some siblings and somewhat of an extended family who they might want to get back in touch with now that they don't have a tadpole threatening them and everyone around them and also they have a githyanki wife and child that they want to introduce people to, Lae'zel would have absolutely no vocabulary for even just most of Tav's familial relations but she'd defintely have no concept of "in-laws."

She thought parents were made up and fake until like a week after you started traveling together and she admits that her "cousins" she mentions didn't indicate a familial relationship in like a societal standpoint and just indicated that they hatched from the same clutch as her. So if Tav started throwing parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces, nephews, actual cousins at her? she wouldn't understand it. So like assuming they're all on good terms with Tav, I could absolutely see her being like "These people seem strangely devoted to you. They have many stories of your past that indicate that they have protected you, but could also bring you to ruin and humiliation should some of these tales be spread. We will form a powerful alliance with them."

like just imagining the epilogue, someone asking Lae'zel and Tav where their son is and Lae'zel being like "He is being watched by our newest allies who are utterly devoted to protecting and keeping him from harm" while Tav just simultaneously goes "He's with my parents"

#if Lae'zel is with you and meets your parents and they aren't dicks #you KNOW she would be like completely ride or die for her in-laws despite having absolutely no context for what in-laws mean #all because they just seem to really like you a lot #'in laws? yes our alliance will be so strong it will be as if it is etched in slate. the highest and most unbreakable of laws' #lae'zel #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #lae'zel x tav

[tastycitrus]

there's an alternate timeline where the new 52 reboot kept all three batgirls but retconned all the robins except for dick, who went back to being robin with nightwing banned from being mentioned at all

#batman #batgirl #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #dick grayson #the trade off is that cass’s personality gets derailed and completely ruined by bad writing #while steph changes personality every time she has a new writer and no one knows what to do with her #so not too far off from what actually happened to them *shot* #other things: dick never gets to move on from the robin title. he's just robin forever #when the other batboys are reintroduced they're given different identities instead of robin with new backstories #barbara gets shot in the head as if being shot in the spine wasn't enough and suffers her own ric grayson arc #steph comes out as bi and starts dating some random girl (not cass) while also dumping and ghosting tim for like a year #right after she received memories of their pre-flashpoint selves and confessed her undying love for him #cass stops using the one thing she's most known for (her martial arts) in favor of like. hooks. in reference to the end of her solo series

[ohmyfairies]

AU where Talia’s obsession with Bruce is tilted a little to the left and when Bruce adopts Dick she’s like !!!!! My beloved you should have told me you wanted children what a wonderful eldest son we have I want custody over summer I will train him to as the best Assassin the world has ever seen I love him so much etc etc Bruce and Dick are obviously freaked out a little by this.. anyway her response to not getting summer custody is to make Damian in her fake womb and not give Bruce custody (or knowledge of his existence). She is equally enthusiastic about each new addition to the family and they all get increasingly strange holiday and birthday gifts from her. When Dick first moved to Bludhaven he came home one day to League style daggers and a ‘I’m so proud of you, love, mom’ note on his kitchen counter and poison in all his food. When she gets hold of zombie!Jason she’s like ‘finally I get custody time to bond with my sons’. Damian is still completely fucked up when he gets to Gotham but this time the murder attempts are because of the lack of birthday gifts.

#dc #Batman #batfam #batfamily #talia al ghul #I just think she should be a good mom if completely fucking unhinged #like she’s completely nuts but she does try #Bruce Wayne #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #Tim drake #dick grayson #1k #2k #3k #unhinged mom!talia au

[notmoreflippingelves]

Actually going insane over the implications of Jason asking Dick to be the Robin to his Batman in Battle for the Cowl.

Like I initially took it at the purely surface-level of Jason wanting a partner in the general sense. Which made sense, it's a huge responsibility and a lonely one so an assistant/sidekick/partner seems a no-brainer if you can get one.

But then I really thought about it, because Jason is not asking Dick to be his partner in the general sense; he's not even asking Dick to be his Nightwing. He's asking Dick to be his Robin.

And they both know exactly what Jason means: "Be the light to my darkness. Be the smile to my scowl. Be the hope to my fear. "

He's saying "Be 'Robin'; be the embodiment of Love and Justice and Goodness. Be the exceptional person that you have always been. Be the slightly-less exceptional person that I was when I wore your colors. Be the person that I was in the process of becoming and might have been (or might still be), if only Joker hadn't clipped my wings."

He's saying "I am prepared to become vengeance, become the Night. And I will go further than Bruce ever dared to, because it is what is needed. I will be the necessary evil. But you don't have to be. If Batman is Gotham's curse, Robin has always been its blessing. I will be the brutal punishment to our world, and I am asking you to be its incandescent gift."

He's saying, "Be for me, what we were for Him. Be my anchor, my comfort, my hope. Remind me what it's all for, why it's all worth it. And remind yourself as well."

He's saying "Be 'Robin' again--for both of our sakes."

#dick grayson #jason todd #battle for the cowl #jaydick #dickjay #kinda but also not kinda #batman #dcu #otp: be my robin #'we can rule together as just it always should've been with you as my guiding light and conscience' #is that not in essence; a sort of marriage proposal ? #well no but it's not NOT one either if you catch my drift #i should note that i haven't actually read bftc yet and i know it's considered controversial/bad #and considered ooc for pretty much everyone #so i am not even sure if I will like it #but i am still planning on reading it for the jaydick crumbs #and b/c i am using it and knightfall as the primary inspo for my krisnix au #apparently jason does ask tim to be his robin first and that's interesting as well #but honestly a little less powerful/interesting to me at least since jaytim just doesn't interest me as much as jaydick #and honestly i've looked at the panels and it seems a little more genuine when jason asks dick idk #more like 'last chance; i'll let you live if you join me' for tim vs. 'join me because this feels right' for dick #and honestly even with clumsy execution; just the narrative and emotional richness of this scene is still making me absolutely feral #this arc could be complete trash in any and every other way but if it gives me THEMES; i will forgive anything #it's the former english major occupational hazard #*apollo justice voice *: I'M FINE #(narrator voice: she was not in fact fine)

[strawberrytalia]

Dick stans on this site are soooo chill and nice, and idk how they do it. y’all are better than me because whyyyyyy is half the fandom claiming that dick tried to lock tim in arkham??? 😭 the treatment dick gets is wild lmao, and i understand know why ppl say he has eldest daughter syndrome bc somehow every single problem in the batfam gets traced back to being his fault. tim and damian beef? obviously that’s the grieving 25 year old whose just been pushed into a role he never wanted’s fault. jason and bruce drama? clearly dick had no right to go live his own life and explore young adulthood after his own issues with bruce, he should’ve come back to play therapist 🙄 Cass being left out? Well based on one panel of dick reading cinderella to her, he should’ve been there more for her! Like lmfao i know he’s the heart of the family, but give this man a breakkkk

#dick grayson #the arkham tim argument still KILLS me lmfao #bc it’s completely made up 😭😭😭 #and then they use jason as a gotcha but ahem #dick only placed jason in arkham to protect him 😭 bc he was beefing with too many ppl #it’s like the gotham form of putting a kid in a corner #the lack of empathy for dick is crazy #y’all treat your older siblings like this???

[sinful-lanterns]

Hamel rather than sending porn pics or videos sends pics of reader cuddling into her and everyone just sends her congratulations for snatching reader. Like... Hamel has no enemies.

Zoya : *Sends pic of her dicc on reader face*

Everyone : *SERVAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING*

Angell : Mine's bigger.

.

Shalom : *Sends video of Rahu railing reader*

Coquelic : Do you have cucking fetish?

The garden : *Making fun of Shalom in support of Coq*

.

Hamel : *Sends pic of her and reader cuddling in cute pajamas*

Everyone : Work of art, good job and send more.

Also everyone : You can keep reader.

LMAO. NOT HAMEL BEING COMPLIMENTED IN THE GROUP CHAT RATHER THAN BEING ENVIED 😭

Everyone’s sex messages are always bombarded with jealous responses and dick pics that try to show off how much “bigger” they are compared to the original poster, yet Hamel’s messages are always so sweet and endearing. Just cute cuddle pics of you wrapped up in her arms while you wear matching PJs to bed 🥺

#⛓️ interrogation complete #lol imagine right under a trend of dick pics in the group chat #hamel just posts something cute like you and her on a cafe date #completely nonchalant to the smutty things happening just a moment ago

[thecruellestmonth]

Batfam™ posts are like

What are the BATFAM™'s favorite drinks?

Dick: sparkling hibiscus nectar infused with pistachio honey (bubbly and sweet just like him 💙) served in a World's Best Big Brother mug that was chipped in a hilarious incident when all three of his beloved siblings got into a wacky swordfight and sunshine big bro Dick had to make peace between them because he's a loving mother hen

Jason: vodka mixed with Earl Grey tea—in Crime Alley, street rats only ever drink alcohol because they're uneducated and miserable, but Jason also drinks tea because he's now elevated above his lowly origins (how quaint! He's Not Like The Other Poors) and to symbolize how much he LOVES his rich family

Tim: COFFEE!! brewed from a special blend of extra caffeinated Arabica beans, mixed with hazelnut non-dairy creamer (lactose hurts him just like everything and everyone in his life 😔) and one sugar cube for every hug he's ever gotten from his parents in his entire life (none) and also his tears

Damian: lemonade colored pink with Tim's blood (now Tim is dying of blood loss and it's all evil Damian's fault! how dare Damian be so cruel to Tim in this terrible scenario that I made up in my own head)

Babs:

Cass: water

Steph: water (with a bendy straw lol she's such a character)

Duke: water

#Batkids #Stephanie Brown #Cassandra Cain #Damian Wayne #Duke Thomas #Barbara Gordon #fanon vs canon #anti Batfamily #anti Batfam #Tim Drake #Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #anti Batboys #fandom discourse cw #negativity cw #Like sometimes I wonder why include characters that you are just completely disinterested in. #This blog here is like mostly Jason Todd lol. Not saying that I don't have my own faves and biases. #Even though I don't always personally enjoy WFA--I gotta give it props for not making the Batfamily revolve around the Four Batboys. #I just dislike the forced made-up 'Batboys quartet'. Dick is the only one with a bond with the other three. #Cass and Duke really bonded when they were with the Outsiders. #Jason has a fun dynamic with Duke. #Babs is the best parental figure in Cass' life. Steph is the best menace ever to Bruce and she can read him to filth. #Whatever these are my tags and I'll rant if I want to.

[daemonmage]

I keep thinking about this AU where Bruce just stays in college and becomes a doctor but still gets dragged into the superhero world.

Ok so Bruce is a doctor and is known for never turning down a patient because he’s still Bruce and he just doesn’t want anyone to die. He still lives in Gotham which is still a horrible place. He still tries to help Gotham by donating and creating his Wayne foundation but it’s hard because the inherent corruption in Gotham hinders anything he does this way.

The mob is still super active in Gotham and a lot of Batman’s rogues still happen because a lot of his rogues just happen with or without Batman. Poison Ivy still becomes an ecoterrorist. Penguin still becomes a powerful mob boss. Mad Hatter is still just the worst. Tommy probably still tries to kill Bruce. Just so many of Gotham’s rogues still exist, except there is no hero to stop them in Gotham. People try, but Gotham is never kind to any hero. Bruce is immensely frustrated by all this but he can’t really do anything. Hell sometimes Lesly’s clinic (cause I feel like he would work there) gets harassed and extorted to help heal mob members and crime wars. He hates this a lot but he’s trapped. He doesn’t have Batman training or gear, the best he can do is help where he can.

However there are still other heroes in this world and Superman is literally just a quick flight away. The JL forms without a Batman and they see Gotham as a powder keg. So they try to help when they can and sometimes they get injured. It comes to a head when a Metropolis (Lex Luthor specifically) and some Gotham rogues team up to get rid of the main hero pain in their necks. Lex creates kryptonite bullets and disperses them to the Gotham rogues to use. Lex sees this as a win because he can get Superman killed without doing much and the Gotham rogues see this as a win cause they have a big weapon against Superman.

So Superman gets shot at with kryptonite bullets. They aren’t the best so they hurt him but only one really makes it through and hits his skin. He has to call in back up and the JL comes to help. I can image Wonder Woman or Flash getting there first. They have no idea what to do because holy shit Superman was shot. That shouldn’t happen! But they’ve heard of this doctor in Gotham that’s supposed to be really good. Maybe Oliver or Dinah suggest Bruce idk. So they take Superman to Dr. Bruce Wayne.

Dr. Bruce Wayne is at his manor with Alfred and a young Dick Grayson (because I firmly believe Bruce would still adopt the kids) and then there is a knock on the door. Alfred goes to answer and in barges the Justice League with a bleeding Superman. Bruce is immediately on his feet barking orders to the JL to get equipment he can use and telling Dick and Alfred to stay back. He doesn’t know what’s going on or how freaking Superman is bleeding out in front of him but he doesn’t care. Bruce realizes quickly that the bullet is cause Clark more pain so it can’t be a leave the bullet in there scenario. He gets the bullet out and asks the JL how to help Clark heal. They say sunlight helps but this is Gotham! It’s polluted and over cast all the time, he won’t be able to get enough sunlight. Bruce remembers a sunlamp they have from a science experiment for Dick. He tells Dick to go get it and they pray that it works. It does by some miracle, though it’s no substitute for actual sunlight.

The League is grateful for Bruce and Clark is also immensely grateful cause holy shit he got shot. The Justice League has to now figure out how these bullets got out in the first place and well Bruce can’t help but be nosy so he mentions that a few of his patients, the mob ones, let it slip that the higher ups got into contact with someone in metropolis and Bruce knows Lex hates Superman. So he helps them out a bit too.

And after that any time they need help with some medical issue they go to super doctor Bruce. He’s also still Bruce and can’t ignore his detective brain so he helps them with mysteries too from time to time. Idk I feel like this still needs more fleshing out but I think it could be funny. Or sad. Or both.

#batman #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #superman #justice league #jla #dc comics #dc #dcu #dc universe #dcau #dc au #clark kent #wonder woman #only mentioned #same with the rest of the JL tbh #I love them and I wanna write an entire scene of Oliver and Dinah being like hey what about Bruce #I just want the justice league panicking and Bruce also panicking but in a completely different way #idk i just think its funny #batman au

[merakiui]

Imagine Azul working at his desk as one of the twins has you bent over the other side just railing into you, just out of the way that you won't interrupt his work/contracts. Maybe if he's feeling benevolent, he'll hold your hand with his free one while he writes(man's totally ambidextrous).

Tako crunch time...... too busy to bother with sex, so Jade or Floyd takes care of you while he's reviewing documents...... yes. <3 it works so well with Floyd because Floyd fucks you everywhere. Thank the Great Seven for magic because the amount of times those leather sofas have had to be magically deep-cleaned after Floyd's gone a few rounds with you on them... T_T Sea Witch, give Azul strength.

But then it's also so good to imagine Jade railing you against Azul's desk and the two of them are talking numbers and profits while you're falling apart and stuffed full of cock. >_< Azul is sweet enough to take your hand in his when you're scrabbling for something to hold onto because the pace Jade or Floyd sets is brutal, and he runs his thumb over the top of your hand while you're sobbing in ecstasy, your face pressed into the pristine mahogany.

And maybe when he finally finishes his work for the evening, he gets to have his turn. >:) he throws your legs up onto his shoulders and fucks you while you're sprawled on your back on his desk. He'll even wash you up after the fact and carry you to his room so you can cuddle with him. He's such a sweet (contractual) boyfriend (and future husband, but you'll get there one day)!!!!

#twisted chit chat #n/sfw #this concept works so well with vil and rook too omg #rook is rearranging your guts while vil's doing his morning routine completely and utterly unfazed #his only words to rook are 'just make sure you don't lose track of time. we have somewhere to be' #and rook is like 'give me five minutes <3' #(he only needs two if that. he's good with his hands his mouth his dick... everything orz)