#literally i was SO delighted to receive this ask omg

[restlesshush]

do you have like. a fic that deals with the soulless jack arc the way u want

Hiii anon this ask absolutely made my day. Very excited to answer this.

Okay so, I don’t have a fic of this but I do have the secret better soulless Jack arc that exists in my head. This originated from me brainstorming it in DMs to @autisticandroids (so there is stuff in here that is from them) around the time I watched the canon version for the first time a couple of months ago. It diverges fairly significantly for 14x16-14x18 and then sticks more closely to canon for 14x19-14x20, but like, the things I've changed mean that those episodes are put in a different light by the time we get to them, and so the main point of this soulless Jack arc is “okay, what actually is the best way to deal with this?” and the answer is compassion!!

(About 2k under the cut)

Obviously, Mary doesn’t die in this au, because it undercuts stuff to the extent that I don’t think it can have been the original plan. That doesn't mean, though, that I'm reverting to the improved soulless Jack arc I think s14 was building to before it got derailed by Mary's death, because that focusses a lot on Dean and Dean & Jack parallels, which isn't really the most interesting to me. This is a very Cas & Jack centric soulless Jack arc, as it should be.

So, the major structural diverging for me starts in 14x16 – in this version, instead of Cas being off screen, him trying to find a way to fix Jack’s soul is the focus of the episode. He gets to have two episodes getting increasingly desperate and probably physically threatening people (because I will forever be mad about the fact that in the entire show he punches 1 (one) car for Jack and that’s it). The idea of this – in addition the fact that Cas’s pov here is the most compelling objectively – is to help to maintain the sense of foreboding re soulless Jack, but also crucially to keep it in the right context of this being specifically something devastating for Jack and people who care about him. The idea of him as a potential ‘threat’ isn’t the point.

Then, I’m a little torn because I do think the s14 Nick stuff is the stupidest writing decision spn ever made, but I do also think Jack killing someone intentionally (as opposed to the stuff with Mary) is an escalation point that makes sense, because like, the issue with soullessness is that his moral reasoning’s off, but with a trustworthy guide he would still be fine! So I think while the emotional core of 14x17 is Cas still trying in vain to find a solution to Jack’s soul, this is the background to salmondean having taken Jack on some kind of motw case, explicitly as a test-drive for him, effectively. So the question the episode is asking – while it becomes increasingly clear that Cas’s mission going to be fruitless – is “is Jack’s soullessness going to be a problem?”, and then when he (well-meaningly!) brutally kills some malevolent civilian and flies off in a panic, we get the answer “apparently yes”.

Okay so NOW we get to my alternate 14x18 which is my favourite bit. In the canon soulless Jack arc, obviously we get Hallucifer 2.0, which I find pretty insulting tbh – I think it smacks of the writers being like “oops! We don’t know how to convey Jack interiority properly so we’re going to make him hallucinate someone to talk to instead!” (From the point of view that Nick’s death was probably meant to be the escalating event rather than Mary’s, this would make slightly more sense as a fossil of that, but it’s still annoying.) SO my solution to this is to convey Jack interiority by co-opting a bunch of other characters to voice his worst fears to him, in a way which escalates the situation, but like, in a way that makes it clear that the situation is being escalated because it’s being handled poorly. We’ve turned this into a Jack character study episode and all of the other characters are tools to serve this goal <3

Firstly, we ideally have a morally dubious ally. Annoyingly, I think Rowena's already too good by this point, and while an Uncle Crowley would be perfect, he has been killed off leaving his slot vacant. Anyway, we have [whoever. A not-dead Aunt Meg would also be great] make a spike btvs “I’m not good but I’m okay” style argument – “it’s fine that you don’t have a soul, you’re just like me and I’m fine”, which is kindly meant but still upsetting to (an already pretty distressed) Jack.

Then we get apocalypse world Bobby, with some other hunters in tow (including non-fridged Mary trying to talk him down), and (in line with the vibe from him at the beginning of 14x19, which was just never followed through on) he’s like “you are just a monster now, and we’re therefore going to kill you”. Which is clearly completely the wrong approach and just escalates things further as it reinforces Jack’s fears about himself and makes him more upset. Jack sends out some sort of shockwave in his panic to get away, and injures a couple of the apocalypse world hunters as well, but not intentionally. By this point he’s so upset that he’s leaving a bit of a trail of destruction in general, and that obviously increases people’s belief that he’s dangerous but like – he’s just distressed! They just need to be kind to him and tell him it’s okay and that they’ll help him!

And then we get to salmondean driving to intercept Jack. Cas is racing back from where he was of trying to fix Jack's soul, but they’re still a lot closer than Cas is, so Cas is begging Dean on the phone like “please please wait till I get there to talk to him. Please.” But Dean’s like “no, we need to sort this out right now” and so he and Sam barrel into the situation without Cas. They try to holy fire ring Jack to contain him while they try to talk him down, which obviously just makes Jack even more upset. (Sam is uncomfortable with this and tries to talk Dean out of it / tries to use waiting for Cas as an excuse, but he does ultimately fall in line.) And then when they’ve got Jack in the holy fire, Dean is taking what he genuinely thinks is a tough love approach of “well you’re not a monster, if you can get this under control” (voicing Jack’s fears to him. We’ve co-opted the avatar of the narrative to serve the end of expressing Jack interiority <3), and Jack’s like “otherwise you’ll kill me?” and Dean’s like “yeah. If I have to”. It eventually escalates to the point that Jack feels so overwhelmed that he is about to give up and just walk through the holy fire, not knowing whether it’s going to hurt him, but just before he does Sam caves and breaks the circle, so we don’t actually know what would have happened, just that he was prepared to do it. Salmondean don’t quite realise what was about to happen, but the audience do.

So we finish 14x18 with Jack still at large, and still upset and therefore out of control, and the crucial takeaway is that all of these attempts to talk him down failed because everyone was making the same misapprehensions about how to help Jack, making Jack’s non-monster status conditional, just feeding into his fear that he can’t avoid being a monster, and the destructive distress it’s resulting its, whereas Cas’s approach would have been “no you’re not a monster, and I’m going to help you” which is why it’s the only one that would have worked.

Then, when we get to 14x19, escalating to trapping Jack in the box makes more sense, because they have already tried talking to him. At the same time, the audience knows that trapping him in the box is still the wrong approach, because Cas's compassion that he didn't get to exercise is still in clear contrast to all of the other failed approaches. The Dumah stuff in this episode probably gets replaced by something where Jack has a little more agency, because the point is “yeah he might do dubious stuff in a well-meaning way without a guide, but if he is looked after he’s fine", so it makes sense to show him doing some well-meaning 'bad things' – having stuff that he's purely manipulated into is a little dull.

In addition to the fact that salmondean wanting to trap Jack in the box makes more sense in this version, because Sam let Jack out of the holy fire ring, Dean can leverage Sam’s ~responsibility in whatever chaos Jack has causes since, to persuade him to go along with the box plan, so the character dynamics make a little more sense there. Also obviously, removing the revenge motive that comes from Jack having killed Mary makes Dean come off as less callously vindictive, and more (very poorly, but still) trying to deal with this very difficult situation. Like, he's still not behaving particularly sympathetically, and he has fallen back pretty quickly into his earlier ways of viewing Jack, but it's much more earned, and less "woah! Where did that come from?!" than in canon 14x19. Another thing that's fixed by Jack not having killed Mary is that he looks much less gullible for being tricked into the box, as opposed to the canon portrayal of which is sublty ooc in a really insulting way.

And then, like in canon, Cas is away while all this is happening, and stuff plays out pretty much the same when he returns, except that Dean tries to physically restrain him from going to get Jack from the box, and Cas shoves him out of the way, because I do have an agenda re the angel and (here, very mild, but still) violence in defence of his child <3

For Moriah, the actual Jack stuff can play out pretty much the same (but of course with the prevailing sense that "no, Dean is wrong to think he has to kill Jack! Cas will be able to sort it!"), only obviously Chuck doesn’t kill Jack. This is for several reasons: 1) Chuck killing Jack is a massive cop-out in that it avoids dealing with the repercussions of Dean nearly killing Jack, which is lazy, boring writing; 2) if the point of this rewritten soulless Jack arc is “what is the solution? Is there an alternative to trapping/killing him?” we need him to survive so that we can see that the solution would have worked, have the cruel approaches refuted; 3) for there to have been something gained from all this, the arc needs to conclude with Cas leaving with Jack. Cas has had major revelations re the situation his child would be in continuing to live at the bunker, and also been shown the extent to which his drive to take care of Jack differs from Sam and Dean's, both of which are reasons for him to realise that he does need to step up as Jack’s parent, in order to do right by Jack, the way he wants to. Like, Cas has learned stuff from this, and he should get to act on it, rather than just having his child killed in front of him. Also, I get a real kick out of getting to say to the audience “look, only one of these three can reasonably be considered Jack’s parent after all that! It's only Cas!”

Not sure what really happens after that. Certainly I am super enamoured with the whole “Cas caring for soulless Jack” vibe – it compels me greatly. I also have in the back of my mind a character-stuff-masked-as-lore solution which could happen either instead of or following that, where Cas sacrifices his grace to fix Jack’s soul, and then Jack is able to restore Cas’s grace via giving him a little of his own (given it’s turbocharged nephilim juice), and it doesn’t give Cas angel terminal illness this time specifically because it’s the grace of his son. Like, their chosen relationship being recognised metaphysically in a way that resolves the situation.

Anyway crucially, the soulless Jack arc has been rewritten so that the instead of the clumsy canon version, the focus is “what does it truly mean for him to be soulless? How do we resolve this situation?” and the answer is that while his moral reasoning is a little out of whack, he does still mean well, and we can resolve things by being kind and having his dad take care of him <3

#literally i was SO delighted to receive this ask omg #jack kline #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn s14 #spn meta #anonymous #asks #spn #worded thoughts

[mimimui]

genshin boys asking for a kiss

includes: kazuha, ayato, thoma, alhaitham, kaveh, diluc, kaeya

tags: established relationship, fluff, mentions of wounds in diluc's, them being deeply in love with reader

a/n: it's 1am rn sorry if it's so scuffed omg but as always .. enjoy !

kazuha simply puckers his lips in hopes you get the message. he had just finished an expedition with the crux when he went to go see you, wrapping his arms around your waist while saying, "i missed you." you missed him too, which was evident by the way you hugged him back.

and there he was, puckering his lips, waiting for you to lean in and kiss him. he always looks a bit silly when he does this, but you're endeared by him nonetheless. you lean in, giving him a quick peck, and a warm smile grows on his face. it's not long before he's puckering his lips again.

ayato literally asks for it. he would go up to you and ask, "(y/n), can i have a kiss?" to which you generously give him. even in intimate moments where it's best not to ask, he'll ask anyway. an example of this was on your anniversary; neither of you exchanged words as you stared longingly into his eyes, waiting for him to make his move.

and as always, without fail, "can i kiss you?" escapes from his lips. this habit of ayato's is something you grew to really love about him, knowing he'll always ask before receiving it from you. you nod your head, and his soft lips connect with yours perfectly.

thoma taps his lips twice with his finger, gesturing that he wants a kiss from you. it's a small thing he does that you find absolutely adorable. every time he does it, you make sure to give him more than just one kiss. he's always flustered after and you tease him about it, saying, "you asked for it, thoma."

he also does this when he wants a kiss other than on his lips. he would tap his cheek, his nose, anywhere he wants you to kiss him, really. you don't remember when he started doing this, but you pray to the archons everyday he will never stop doing it.

alhaitham doesn't ask, he takes. when he wants a kiss, he'll simply go up to you and steal a quick one from your lips. he usually catches you off guard by doing this, and you always scold him for it. "alhaitham, i almost dropped my mug!" you exclaim, to which he replies, "but you're still holding it, aren't you?"

he especially loves stealing kisses from you when you're focused on something. reading a book? kiss. doing paperwork? kiss. staring at the wall? kiss. alhaitham likes seeing your reactions after he kisses you, he finds them delightful.

kaveh will stare at you until you pick up the hint that he wants you to kiss him. when you finally understand what he wants and gives him a kiss, he complains it took you way too long to receive his telepathic signals. you hit his arm jokingly, and he responds with an overexaggerated gasp. "unbelieveable, (y/n)!"

he sometimes stares at you without the intention of asking for a kiss, so when you catch him staring at you and you kiss him, he gets confused. his cheeks welcome a slight pink tint, not expecting you to kiss him so suddenly. but kaveh doesn't mind, so as long as it's you.

diluc would be getting his wounds bandaged by you when he thinks of asking for a kiss. he's a bit embarrassed to say anything though, so he stays silent until you're done patching him up. but to his surprise, you kiss his wounds and tell him, "it's so they heal quicker."

he doesn't hide his smile as he looks at you, thanking you for taking care of him. but even if you've kissed all his wounds already, he still feels a bit dissatisfied. suddenly, an idea pops into his head and he calls your attention. you can only laugh at what he says next, "my lips have a wound, can you kiss it too?"

kaeya will keep asking for more kisses and if you keep giving them to him, it will be neverending. you gave him a goodbye kiss when he told you he was leaving, but you were confused when he just stood there. "kaeya, aren't you going to go now?" you ask, but he only smiles at you.

"one more kiss, please." you playfully roll your eyes as you give him another kiss. you thought he would go after that, but when he doesn't and asks for another kiss, you knew it was going to be a while before he actually leaves.

thanks for reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

#genshin x reader #kazuha x reader #ayato x reader #thoma x reader #alhaitham x reader #kaveh x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader

[monikashinswife]

omg omgggg i love ur monika fic and i need moreee 😭🙏🙏

Ask and you shall receive<3

(also she looks so tiny hereeeee)

"If you really love me, get me a husband next teachers day."

-this is inspired by the Street Woman Fighter 1 Gala Talk show, when one of her students brought the Teacher's Day incident. Enjoy reading<33

Everyone knows how Monika has been single for a very long time. And it has been a constant topic whenever she gets interviewed by hosts. It was almost too much, but Monika answered them enthusiastically.

The constant bringing up of her love life was also briefly brought up during the gala talk show of season 1 of Street Women Fighter. Where the powerful ladies were there to have fun. During one of the segments, everyone gets to ask the leaders a question.

One of Monika's students brought up the teacher's day incident. Which made Monika tear up because of how she felt during those times. And to make it up to her. She then told them playfully "If you really love me, get me a husband next teacher's day."

Monika didn't know that it was coming for her. After the success of Street Woman Fighter, opportunities were given left and right and they kept coming. Monika was invited to many interviews and most of them asked about her love life. And like always, Monika would talk about how she still doesn't have a boyfriend.

They kept going throughout the year and it was always a delight for Monika.

And speaking of opportunity, yours came when Kirsten. One of your close friends invited you to join her for Street Woman Fighter Season 2. Kirsten drags you to join her since you've been dancing together for a very long time. And who are you to refuse your best friend?

With that, Jam Republic Crew is formed with other members. It was destiny, you thought. To be with these very people. You were very excited about this new adventure.

And that adventure would be going back to South Korea. You immediately contacted Lip J. Telling her that you would be going back to Korea, but without telling her the reason. As it is said by the staffs.

You and Hyo Won met in a competition in New Zealand. You were attached after that. You continue to contact each other even if you're living across multiple countries from each other that doesn't stop you from being friends.

With Hyo Won's influence, you started learning her language. It's been a while since you saw each other. It was very clear when your squeals and screams could be heard throughout the area where the passing people saw two best friends hugging each other like lunatics.

"Oh my fucking God I missed you!!" You exclaimed once the hug was broken. Lip J's eyes can't be seen from how wide she's smiling.

"We literally Facetime each other almost every night!" She answered, but you both know you missed each other. You're each other's therapist.

"You know you missed me" I winked at her and she gave me a disgusted look. I gave a mock offense before I lightly slapped her arm and we burst out laughing. After that interaction, our day started. We pamper ourselves with things that we both love doing. Knowing that this is something we don't often do together.

" would you like it if I invited you to one of our dance classes?" Lip J asked casually while eating her ice cream. I look at her while also eating mine, "with PROWDMON?" I asked, she hummed and I nodded. Hyo won quickly grabbed my arm to drag me back to the parking lot.

"Hey, where are you taking me?" I whined while I followed her like a child being dragged by her mom. "To our studio" she answered casually. "Dressed like this?" I pointed to what I was wearing, she quickly scanned my tight-fitting dress before shrugging. "I'll borrow some spare clothes if that's the case. And besides, this is the first time I'm taking you to our studio. It's teachers day and I have to give this gift to Monika Unnie."

"Is it okay?" I asked carefully, making sure that I wouldn't be a bother when we got there. I understand that it's an important day and they must be doing an event to celebrate their mentor.

"Yes, but you know what's not okay?" Hyo Won suddenly sounded serious. "What?" She chuckled at my hurried response. "You, not meeting Monika even though we've been friends for so long." I stopped whatever I was doing on my phone to look at her.

"Holy shit, you're right!" I laughed loudly because of the situation. I never met her best friend and what an odd situation that is, considering we often FaceTime.

And just like that, the car ride was full of singing and talking. That was until we arrived at their studio. I can't help but feel excited. Wordlessly, Lip J passed me the gift that she was supposed to give to Monika and we went in.

"Unnie!" Shockingly we heard a loud call. We both looked around when we entered the practice room. I automatically smiled when the students hugged their unnie. "Oh, my-" I gave them a wave as a greeting and I giggled at their shocked reaction.

They all squealed when they saw you. How could they not? You are an icon when it comes to dancing. And it was a pleasant surprise as the students were also a fan of your work.

Monika, overwhelmed by the warm greeting from her students, looked pleasantly surprised to see you with Lip J in the studio. Her students, not wanting to waste any time, immediately handed her the gift they'd prepared for Teacher's Day.

Lip J, with a playful grin, nudged you forward, introducing you to Monika. "Monika Unnie, this is Y/n. She's a dear friend of mine and has joined us for today's dance class."

Monika, still in a state of disbelief, accepted the gift from her students and then turned her attention to you. "Nice to meet you, Y/n. I've heard so much about you from Lip J. Thank you for being here with us on this special day."

You exchanged pleasantries and chatted with Monika and her students. As the class began, you watched Monika in action, impressed by her teaching skills and her close bond with her students.

After the class, Monika approached you and Lip J. "Thank you both for coming today. It means a lot to me. How about we grab a meal together to celebrate Teacher's Day?"

As the sunset and the city lights began to twinkle, the atmosphere between you and Monika started to take on a more romantic hue. The restaurant you chose had an intimate ambiance, and the three of you shared a cozy corner table.

Monika's students, sensing the chemistry between the two of you, excused themselves, leaving you and Monika alone. The soft glow of the candlelight and the background music set the mood for a heartfelt conversation.

Monika, her eyes reflecting the warm light, looked at you and said, "You know, I didn't expect this Teacher's Day to turn into such a beautiful surprise. Meeting you here, spending this evening together—it's been so special."

You gazed into her eyes, feeling a strong connection, and replied, "I feel the same way, Monika. There's something truly magical about how we met today. I've heard so much about you from Hyo Won, and I can see why she admires you so much."

A faint blush tinted Monika's cheeks, and she smiled, her fingers gently tracing the rim of her wine glass. "I must admit, I've enjoyed our conversation and the time we've spent together. Y/n, I hope we can get to know each other better."

Your heart skipped a beat as you took Monika's hand across the table. "I'd love that, Monika. Maybe we could do this again sometime, just the two of us?"

Monika's eyes sparkled with excitement as she nodded. "I would like that."

The evening continued with shared stories, laughter, and a connection that seemed to grow stronger by the minute. By the time the night came to a close, you and Monika had taken the first step towards a blossoming romance, all because of a playful challenge, an unexpected visit, and the magic of a serendipitous encounter.

Maybe the reason why she still doesn't have a husband is because she is destined to have a wife.

-

(not proofread)

#street woman fighter 2 #monika shin #monika shin x reader #prowdmon #street woman fighter x reader #swf x reader #swf2 x reader #mannequeen #street woman fighter 1 #swf imagine #street woman fighter icons #street woman fighter gala talk show #lip j

[kimetsu-chan]

~Welcome to my blog!~

Hello! You can call me Kimmie or Kim (some nicknames my sweet friends gave me 😋)

I am not going to disclose my exact age but I am a minor

I do art and sometimes I’ll write!

I am a pessimist— (I will hate on my art sometimes)

My birthday is December 4th :D

My persona

Here is my OC Masterlist!

I do take requests for art and writing, and you can find those rules, here!

The things I have written are here :)

My gamejolt is my BSD focused area, although I will post BSD here occasionally. The username/tag is the same as here!^^

and @soyyyyaa is my twisted wonderland focused blog :3

⚠️ I do take emergency requests and those will take top priority no matter what. Emergency requests will almost always be open, even if normal requests aren’t. If I have a request I am actively working on and I receive an emergency request, I will let the person who sent the first request know that their request is being put on hold until the emergency request is finished. Consistent misuse of emergency requests will result in a temporary ban from placing requests. I will ultimately decide what qualifies as an emergency request.⚠️

More info about emergency requests here

I have a roleplay account for my oc, Yuna at @ask-yuna-handa

Male Kny oc, Zeno Arakawa, can be found on @ask-zeno-arakawa

I am proud to say that I took the photo used as the banner on both my rp account accts! 😁

My time zone is Eastern Standard Time!

These are my emoji coded tags:

🍁 is my writing tag!

🌾 is my mental health tag. I use it whenever I post something related to mental health or when I’m sad

🪻 is my drawing tag. I use it whenever I post art that I made!

🌹 is my animation/time lapse tag, I’ll post 🪻 and this together since animations are technically art

These are my moots! They are lovely people and I recommend following them!

@local-giyuu-simp (my twin that I tried to eat in the womb)

@gyutarowritings (my child :3)

@donkeybro (VERY NICE. Very fun to roleplay with too! :D)

@your-local-demon-slayer-nerd (very funny, would do stupid crap with)

@ame-delights (our ocs have become Milo’s guardians)

@ayunakatsukiwolfhashira (jaw dropping amazing fics. I should’ve followed her sooner. She’s also rlly nice :D)

@thewinterpillarhashira (beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, delectable art. AND THEY CAN RECREATE THE KNY ART STYLE SO PERFECTLYYYY)

@littleolspring112 (very chaotic but in a good way)

@saffron0v0 (certified sweetheart. I think you could stab her and she’d forgive you— don’t do that though.)

@squidifier (such cute art omg—)

@reilovescheese (THEIR ART IS SO GORGEOUSGFIUEGFRYH)

@ta-ni-ya (amazing art yum yum)

@night-mince0 (my other child >:3)

@sweetstarryeyedgirl (our ocs have a Giyuu fan club)

@scrimblyscrorblo (one of my art idols. I freaked out when we became moots)

@tinyperson00 (very nice, Akira is so pretty)

@naramaiz (Amari makes the best cookies yum)

@larz-barz (she’s literally an angel omg—and she is my wife, my one and only I love her sm)

@aika-writes (very nice fanfics (: )

@shycroissanti (another art idol, is so so nice. Says im her art idol too??!! EugfakgeGHWVDUY)

@kiyokatokito (the human embodiment of straight up sugar)

@muichiroslovermwah (I would like to adopt you please :>)

@boo-simplified (YET ANOTHER ART IDOL)

@tokito-dulya20 (very yummy art and fics)

@cloudymistedskies (ANOTHER ART IDOL—)

@mrs-k0zume (she said I could officiate her and Kenma’s wedding teehee)

@rion-isnot-an-ai (literally an angel #2)

@silliestsakura (i foam at the mouth bc of how pretty her art is)

@aceofstars0 (my first mutual and second follower!! ILSYM ACE.)

(Thank you to @saradika for the dividers!)

#I finally made it #im gonna pin it once i post this #🪷

[fairyhaos]

hey hey heyy!! i have a question about your first impressions of your moots and anons?

sure! this is gonna be a list of moots first and then the anons after :]

@rubywonu "omg this person is so so sweet 🥰" it's bc she appeared in my inbox asking if we could be moots literally at the Same time that i was considering asking her lmaooo so that was kinda fun

@etherealyoungk "wowee famous person!!" bc her work was always rlly well received and she wrote so well :]

@mirxzii "aww someone wants to be moots with me? 🥺" bc i think roxie was the first person who i didn't know before she asked to be moots and it was so sweet to think that others wanted to be my friend

@blue-jisungs "zanna's bubbly friend" bc literally the only time i used to see axe on my dash was when she was talking w zanna haha and she always sounded sooo bright :>

@gyuswhore was just. sooo intimidating to me for some reason???? she kind of still is but she's also a really cool and really kind person

@woozis @joshuas @meowonhao @goblinvern @leejungchans not to group u guys into one point but it was literally a case of going "holy FUCK TH3SE PEOPLE ARE SO???!! ;;;!? ///??💗💗💗💗" and screaming into my hands bc u r all so cool in my eyes

@weird-bookworm the adorable and sweet person who pops into my inbox literally ALWAYS w joshua stuff hehe

@wheeboo "omg,,,, a moomoo??" bc i saw the whee and i was like OHHHH OH MY GOD THAT'S FOR WHEEIN RIGHT

@hannyoontify @icyminghao idk how to describe it but it was like a feeling of just awww oml this person is so ADORABLE

@wonwoonlight just the vibes of khione being a very gentle and very kind person tbh ^^

and anons (i don't rlly see many of u these days so idk if there's much point in doing everyone 😭) :

🍒 i think it was the joshua lips thing that prompted the first convo????? so it was like "HELL YEAH ANOTHER SUPPORTER ✊" sort of impression haha

🎐 was just soooo sweet n lovely bc we started talking bc of the synaesthesia post and wind chime anon just had an Adorable way of typing haha

🌙/ @mesanthropi it was kinda like... "this person is kinda adorable" bc i kind of KNEW who u were but that didn't make ur conversation any less endearing

🥡/ @h-ao i just remember my pure and utter delight bc sen was sooo friendly and seeing the new named anon in my inbox made my day ^_^

#fairyhaos.tagged #friends <3 #i have a bunch of other moot games in my inbox gays im so sorry im gonna get round to them i promise #anyways!!!!! here this is #sometimes i dont have a clear feeling at the beginning or sometimes #we've had far too many experiences/ one REALLY VIVID EXPERIEBCE so i cant remmeber my first thoughts :]

[littlemissmanga]

Yay! Wrecker!!

What do you think he is afraid of, other than heights?

Where does he feel most at peace?

How would he describe himself in 5 words?

How would his romantic life be? 💕

OMG I love getting to talk about him 💕

Fears:

So I think all of his fears are all based in things he can't fight with his strength and determination. That's why he's afraid of heights. I think he's also terrified of being caught out in the ocean. Both are kinda tied to the same thing on Kamino - falling off the platform and sent adrift in the sea - and both represent situations where he can't fight his way out.

At Peace:

He feels most at peace in the Marauder but not because of it, but because that's where he's had his best memories with his brothers.

WHEN they're all safe on Pabu, it'll definitely be Pabu. His favorite place will always be the heart of his home. For ultimate peace, it'll be sunset after a day of helping his community, belly full after a meal with his brothers, sister, and close friends, and if he's with someone, them in his arms as they watch the sun sink over the edge of the sea.

It almost looks like an explosion, but with none of the fear or adrenaline.

How He'd Describe Himself

Big

Strong

Hungry

Funny (Wrecker think's he's hysterical and honestly I just love that. I'd laugh at his laugh more than the joke but that's even more delightful)

Caring

Romantic Life

Wrecker would give 150% into his romantic life, and he'd live it LOUD. I don't just mean in volume - though he'd definitely talk about you enough to just about anyone who'd listen - but in action.

This man would be trying to do every sweet thing he can for you to take care of you. There literally wouldn't be a "honey-do" list because the second you'd ask something, he'd be on it before you could blink. Acts of service are a big way for him to show he cares - he isn't the most confident when it comes to expressing himself verbally.

It's also why he loves taking you on dates. He may not always plan them thoroughly, but he definitely always picks something fun and active - picnics and hikes, physical training/going to the gym, paintball, scavenger hunts/escape rooms (he loves these a lot). But he is adaptable and if you need a quieter day or night, he LOVES getting super comfortable in PJs (preferably you in just his shirt, he goes wild for that) and grabbing every pillow and blanket you can and play board games or video games in your nest, then cuddling and watching a holofilm to bed.

As much as he loves going out to have fun, he secretly treasures the nights in, where he gets to just hold you all night for as long as he can. Acts of Service is how he communicates his love, but Physical Touch is how he receives love, so holding you close and feeling how perfectly you fit against him soothes him. He also will never get over how relaxed you are around him. It humbles and makes him proud that you feel so comfortable around him that you trust him that much.

Some NSFW below here, please read responsibly.

Wrecker is not inexperienced when you meet, but he's closer to that end of the spectrum. He's hooked up, mostly to experience it, but he didn't like that he knew his partner didn't care for him and that he didn't really care for his partner.

I can see Wrecker being demisexual but even if he isn't, he very much prefers to have a relationship of some kind with a sexual partner.

But ultimate preference is to be committed to them and them to him. He loves (LOVES) the intimacy of it, of being so connected and open with someone else. Pretty much the exact kind of vulnerable that Crosshair hates, Wrecker looks forward to experiencing with you. Over. And over.

So there are some natural challenges when you start becoming intimate, as you have to teach him how to learn your body and he doesn't have much experience to know what he likes with a partner at first. Luckily, exploring with Wrecker is fun. He's nervous - he doesn't wanna mess up and he really doesn't wanna hurt you. But with reassurance and patience, he'll come to treat it as a game - and Wrecker loves playing games, especially when winning means you both get to feel good.

He cannot get over the reactions he can pull from you. It's reassurance he needs that he's doing good. And when you confirm it with your words???? OMG his brain does stop working some times. Hello praise kink. He tries to reciprocate. It takes a while, and he struggles with saying explicit stuff, but he's got some go-to phrases he uses that just get you going, and since he knows how good that feels for him, he keeps it up seeing it's making you feel just as good.

Prefers giving to receiving but that's mostly because he's afraid to hurt you. Once he gets comfortable that you'll communicate with him and he can read you better, he let's up and will be rougher with you.

Man's a messy pussy eater. There, I said it. Absolutely feral and all over down there. He'll smack his lips when he comes up, too, so you can hear how wet he made you. Gotta make sure you're ready for him, after all.

And ya, he's proportionate, so he insists on making you cum at least once before you try penetration.

But Wrecker is incredibly sex positive and knows that PiV is not the only way. He's a HUGE fan of mutual masturbation and assisted masturbation, heavy petting and grinding, and of course, thigh riding. These aren't just "we don't have time, here's something to tide us over" for him. They're all equal ways of showing you how much he loves you and how he can use his body to make yours feel good.

He's not into power dynamics since that makes him feel distant from his partner and he is NOT into degradation at all - that's a hard boundary for him. That said, he definitely has a size kink - he loves his size and how he makes you look small and you make him look big, no matter how tall you actually are.

I can't see Wrecker as really into impact play, but he does love marking you up with love bites and seeing the imprint of his grip on your skin (once you've confirmed you're ok with it). He really likes gripping and grouping and seeing your soft skin mold to his touch.

His favorite position is cowgirl, shortly followed by you on your back, your thighs over his hips as he kneels. Both give him complete access to you and he loves watching himself slide in and out of you. Though he'll never say no to bending you over a table, especially if you're wearing a flirty little skirt. He CANNOT be blamed for wandering hands leading to more when you're wearing a tiny skirt. That's almost as bad as his shirt.

#Thanks for the ask! #and i'm so sorry #you gave me the chance to talk about Wrecker #and I took it #tbb wrecker #wrecker #wrecker headcanon #tbb wrecker headnanon

[tinartss]

fave haikaveh artist, what’s new with you? :0

AW hello anon!!! thanks for asking omg that’s so sweet ;; also anytime someone says i’m their fav hkv artist i’m floored like no way…the most honorable title one could receive thank u sm😭😭

things have been good!! ive been doing some intl travel to visit the family for the holidays and it’s been super nice seeing everyone :D also maybe kaveh’s right that the universe is against him and haitham bc my apple pencil tip has broken twice in the past two weeks whenever i pull up procreate to draw them </3 my classes also start up again in a few days (as i’m sure is the case for many of u guys as well ;; good luck we got this🫡🫡) 

hands u some fic recs as well…i read these on the plane and i literally have not been able to stop thinking abt them ;; rlly want to draw smth fic-inspired….we will see….also if you all have any fic recs feel free to share!

de insomniis by liyuen (M, 32k)

nazar by pencanz (T, 13k)

anywho happy belated new year to you anon!! wishing all of you guys a delightful start to the year 💗

#ask #haikaveh fic recs #kavetham fic recs

[mountinez]

omg hiiii sorry for the sudden message but im SO happy to find a fellow homoyuri charge enjoyer 🤝 like— taste✨ ((and im so delighted as well abt how u like bottom!carlos too bc– we need more of that frfr))

anyways, if ur srs abt the charge essay– consider me interested 👁️👁️👍

anyways nice to meet u!!

HIII SWEETHEART! <3

omg what an honor to receive an ask of yours. i'm gonna be very sincere i was not expecting that. i love your art and your blog and idk why i wasn't following you yet since i'm always reblogging your stuff.

but well, to the important matter then... i swear to you, the charge energy and how both radiate cottage princess vibes from two different kingdoms but end up bonding because they pursue the same things from a very young age, and both know how to come close to each other and understand the approach the other needs. it's beautiful and pink and purple and blue and green. they'll start talking about the crush they have on those old men, will paint each other' nails and will end up kissing, cuddling, and making out just out of their friendship ofc!

i'll work on that essay for sure!!! one day ✨

ofc it'll end up in yuri (in this case homoyuri); you have no idea how many days i spent thinking about them and about how precious is their dynamics and their co-existence in the same universe.

i have a lot of problems with carlos but oh i definitely see him as someone very babygirly, in the sense he moans and cries for attention, he needs to be the best girl. he is literally carla in that movie "confessions of a teenage drama queen" so i don't see him as the "macho top service" at all (you can see just the competitive way he acts around charles and if they didn't despise each other so much i'd certainly see more homoyuri potential here 😭)

thank you so so much for this ask, i'll continue to work on thoughts for this whole combo thanks to you! <3

#63orgeous <3 #omg this ask made me so so happy #charge #1663 agenda is thriving

[collectivecloseness]

i love that u still write for kurt wtf 😩 what a delightful little surprise but i have always adored your kurt works ♡ ◡ ♡ lordddd lock me UPPP

he’s literally The Cutest™️ i simply can’t with his little cheeky smile FUCK

Yeah of course I do I love that skrunkly guy haha, he is such a fun character to write for!

And thank you so much, that’s very sweet of you!

I’m definitely still open to talking abt Kurt for sure, omg. I love receiving Kurt asks! All day yesterday and today I’ve been working on one ask hahaha but I’ll have to look through my drafts/inbox again and see what Kurt stuff I have, and I’m always open for any Kurt stuff!

#an ask I v much love I literally cannot stop adding to it lol #but I’ll defo need to do some more Kurt! 💕 #Kurt kunkle #spree 2020 #cc chats #anon #ask

[inumaki-roll]

i was curious how the DR (( nagito, hajime, makoto, rantaro, shuichi, chihiro, byakuya, izuru, kazuichi, & kiibo if that’s okayyahdsh sorry)) & AOT guys would react if their s/o who is selectively clingy w certain people kinda back off suddenly because they just feel.. embarrassed?? like when they were a kid people reacted negatively to their clinginess and would ignore them for it. and they just feel so dumb to show emotion & showing their clinginess? and they feel like they’re being a bother and being annoying too... & suddenly just feel like closing off from the world lol? i’ve been feeling like this recently and i’d love to see what they’d do if that’s possible please!! thank you so much!!

hi anon !! i’m this way too dw HWKWBWN 

i hope it’s alright that i only did the danganronpa boys and eren, armin, jean, + levi but if you want i’ll def redo it later with more of the boys !! i’m really sorry today has been a wicked long day for me bc of doctor appointments and i have to write an email to my principal of my school because of a certain incident so i’ve been a little stressed with that and report cards coming up </3

- mod rantaro ✧･ﾟ: *✧

➽───────────────❥

MAKOTO NAEGI

- he can completely understand 

- he’d make sure everyone left you alone and he’d let you stay in his dorm during the day and night 

- he’d love the clingyness please 

- he wouldn’t even get annoyed with it either 

- if you thought you were annoying him he’d be so panicky 

- waving his arms everywhere while frantically telling you how much he enjoys your company 

- he’d be so mad at the people who told you you’re annoying 

- constant reassurance- headpats, hugs, light kisses on your face, and lots of hand holding 

➽───────────────❥

BYAKUYA TOGAMI

- he might act a bit annoyed, but as soon as he sees your insecure about coming off as annoying he softens right up 

- he’d make sure no one messes with you because he can be quite intimidating 

- he stays by your side all the time in public 

- he would mention how he enjoys having you around him and he’s delighted that you’re so comfortable around him 

- in public hed let you hold onto his elbow if you’re feeling like you don’t belong in a conversation and if you got really uncomfortable hed leave right now away 

➽───────────────❥

CHIHIRO FUJISAKI 

- he gets so flustered when you cling to him 

- he loves it when you’re sitting right near him while he’s working on a computer 

- he gets all smiley please he’s just too cute 

- every so often he’ll turn his head away from the screen and plant a little kiss on your cheek to show that he’s not ignoring you 

- i think he’d rather just hang out with you in each other’s dorms during freetime instead of socializing anyways 

- he’d like teaching you little programming things 

- he’s worried he might bore you so he programs something to your interests 

➽───────────────❥

KAZUICHI SODA 

- HED LOVE THE ATTENTION 

- he’d literally never get tired of it bc he can be quite clingy as well 

- lots and lots of affection 

- he’d love it if you stayed with him while he worked on something 

- he’d love showing off and showing you how to do mechanic things 

- hed literally YELL at anyone who calls you annoying 

- he could never even think for a second you’re annoying or too clingy 

- he’d bop someone on a head with a wrench for you <3

➽───────────────❥

NAGITO KOMAEDA 

- omg please. 

- nagito would feel like he wouldn’t deserve your clingyness 

- he’d tell you that over and over again too 

- he’d watch his words carefully to not say something that may offend you 

- he wouldn’t even mind that you’re clingy, sometimes he might get a little like “woah this is a lot of affection for me and i’m not used to it” and may accidentally distance himself for a short time but would recognize that he did that and remembers that you need someone and hed apologize and would never leave you alone again 

- he’d smother you with affection right back 

- he thinks you’re more deserving of affection than he is, so he gives back the same energy 

➽───────────────❥

HAJIME HINATA 

- tsundere hajime would be so like 🤨🤨🤨

- he wouldn’t know how to respond at first but he’d warm up quickly because he also likes the attention 

- all the affection makes him feel so,,, special 

- he loves it even though he may need a break once in a while, due to his stress 

- he never ever even thinks of you as annoying and will argue with someone who thinks you are 

- like a full on argument 

- he’d  always tell you how much he values your quality time 

- he might sometimes accidentally mirror your actions and “cling” a bit too by subconsciously draping his arm over you when your next to him or always being able to find your hand while walking together 

➽───────────────❥

IZURU KAMUKURA 

- he’d be so confused on why you’re clinging to him, since he’s not a very touchy person

- he’d ask you this too and he’d understand that he’s special because you aren’t like this with everyone 

- he’d do anything for you to make you feel more comfortable about being a clingy person and he explains to you that it’s not your fault you’re like this and to not get mad at yourself because it’s a normal feeling that lots of people go through 

- he’d  always have a hand holding yours or an arm around your shoulder

- he’d think it’s very endearing that you’re clingy 

- so much quality time spent together finding random things to keep each other occupied 

- sometimes he can feel exhausted or just drained and will just flop himself onto you and just lay in your lap and let out a big sigh and literally lay there forever 

➽───────────────❥

RANTARO AMAMI 

- he’d also enjoy it quite a lot 

- he’d always offer for you to tag along if he’s going somewhere but he never wants you to feel out of place 

- he’d literally welcome all the affection pls 

- he’d literally go “aww” at it too 

- he’d feel so content when he has your attention 

- rantaro supremacy 

- okay why do i think he’d ruffle your hair as a way of intimacy too 

- BIG WARM LONG HUGS 

➽───────────────❥

SHUICHI SAIHARA 

- flustered emo detective

- he’d hide his face a bit when he receives a lot of attention because it gets him so blushy 

- he’d be a little hesitant but,,, lots of pecks on the lips 

- he’d also never even dream about calling you clingy or annoying because it could make you upset 

- he wants you to be content and comfortable so he’ll always let you be near him

- play with his hair while he works on a case i’m ajsjkabssk

- he’d immediately feel less stressed and worked up 

➽───────────────❥

KIIBO

- oh boy 

- he always loves the clingyness because it helps him understand humans better 

- he likes seeing all the different types of affection that you can give and will remember it and test it out on you later 

- he like offers you little things for hanging out with him 

- he’ll give you a flower for just being near him please he’s just too <333

- “y/n! thank you for your time today. i collected valuable data, now saved to my memory bank and it also let me get to know you better. i think it would’ve been a bit rude that you did not benefit from this so i hope you accept this flower as a sign of my graditude and as a thank you for being an extraordinary s/o.” 

➽───────────────❥

EREN JEAGER 

- also a bit confused 

- why do you want to cling to him ?? he can get violent and loud sometimes ?? 

- he might be hesitant to accept the affection but would warm up 

- he would be very,,, quiet while receiving affection 

- like he becomes so focused on that 

- will fight anyone who thinks you’re annoying 

- when he finds out you’re really only like this around him he’s so shocked but honored 

- he’d try his best to make you happy and comfortable 

- he’d love love love holding hands 

➽───────────────❥

ARMIN ARLERT 

- bae would be shy shy 

- he’d be so scared to mess up 

- he’d literally freeze the first time he gets affection and would melt right into it 

- like just pull him into a tight hug for the first time and he’d just freeze and go 

- “y/n.... i-i really like this. can we stay like this for a bit? please?” and would hug you back tightly 

- then he gets used to it 

- he welcomes all the affection and he smiles widely whenever you go to him and he tries to hide it 

➽───────────────❥

JEAN KIRSTEIN 

- he’d try his absolute hardest to make you happy and would cling right back 

- he’d be flustered and try to act tough at the same time akshakue 

- i think he’d like tracing his fingers around your back and arms 

- big hugs 

- you have to let go first on hugs, he never lets go [hes scared he might loose you] 

- gets a little nervous and panicky if you aren’t being your usual clingy self 

➽───────────────❥

LEVI ACKERMAN 

- he wouldn’t really respond 

- he’d let you cling onto him and will let you follow him around 

- he’d warm up to it very slowly

- and one day randomly returns the affection 

- i think he’d like little kisses on the knuckles or hands 

- he wouldnt get annoyed because he’s one of the only ones who’s treated this way by you so he wouldnt want to hurt your feelings 

- if you did get insecure he would give reassurance by a kiss and a “pep talk” 

- won’t tolerate anyone calling you annoying 

➽───────────────❥

#aot x reader #danganronpa x reader #levi ackerman x reader #eren jeager x reader #armin arlert x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #rantaro amami x reader #byakuya togami x reader #hajime hinata x reader #izuru kamakura x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #makoto naegi x reader #kiibo x reader #keebo x reader #shuichi saihara x reader #danganronpa #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #mod rantaro ✧

[foli-vora]

more than words, pt.2

A/N: Really wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction to pt.1 so thank you all so much for your likes, reblogs, kind words and support! I had a few requests to make a taglist so I’ve done it at the bottom - let me know if you’d like to be added! (and I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone) so - on with the show!

Summary: The one person who you thought would be happy for you finally getting with someone decent was your best friend. After all, he had set you both up. Who would’ve thought he’d be the reason it all falls apart?

Pairing: best friend!Benny Miller/f!reader, Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales/f!reader

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: swearing

pt.1 / pt.3 / pt.4 / pt.5 / pt.6

+++

You startle when your phone vibrates on the coffee table, the sudden and abrupt noise of it quick to drag your attention away from the true crime documentary playing across your TV screen. You eye it from your spot on the couch, so far, yet only a mere reach away if you could be bothered to stretch the distance. Your eyes fall back to the TV, happy to just ignore it and address it when you eventually have to move from the cocoon of blankets and pillows you’ve surrounded yourself with, but when the reminder alert sounds two minutes after receiving it, a small voice in the back of your head pipes up, saying it could be something important and you sigh tiredly.

The effort to move pulls a low groan from you and you stretch out, snatching the device from the table and back into the warmth before you could tumble onto the floor and really have something to grumble about.

Hey Benny’s mystery girl, how’s your night going?

The text sends flutters through your stomach, your hands immediately clamming up with a brief wave of nerves. This was the guy that Benny was setting you up with – an apparent very close friend and someone who clearly meant a lot to him. Why did you feel so much pressure to make a good impression?

Blankets, cushions and crime show now forgotten, you straighten up and let your fingers hover over the keypad in contemplation.

Do you play it cool? Act like you have a brimming social life, full of fun and endless options, and are not currently sat at home on a Friday night in your pyjamas watching Netflix, eating an excessive amount of snacks? No. No, you shouldn’t put a false image out there. Honesty is the best policy.

Hey yourself mystery fish. It’s a nice and relaxed night on my end, how about yours?

You leave it at that, briefly wondering if you should quickly chuck your phone on airplane mode, delete the message before it could go through and start again.

Did it sound boring? Is that the kind of image you were throwing out there? Maybe you should’ve acted like you were at least doing something productive. But then… what if Benny was there to call you out on your bullshit, knowing you literally have nothing better to do? He’d gladly do it, too.

You roll your eyes at yourself, wondering why you even cared what this mystery man thought about you and your weekend rituals when you had literally never even met. You were who you were, and that was that. If he didn’t like it, then he could take his handsome face and pretty brown eyes elsewhere.

I’m jealous. Stuck out with the guys and all I can think about is sleeping.

Scratch that. Maybe he was a man after your own heart, after all. A picture of a tray of tequila shots and lemons wedges comes through, another text quickly following which had you giggling quietly to yourself –

I’m too old for this shit.

You grin at your screen, opening your camera and snapping a quick picture of your blanket covered legs, snack covered coffee table and bright TV screen before sending it with a little smirking emoji. You’re not disappointed when he replies almost immediately.

Now I’m really jealous – are those Doritos?

Nacho cheese!

The one and only acceptable flavour. Is that Forensic Files? I binged the shit out of that the other day!

OMG it’s so good!

-

Surprisingly, your eyes didn’t feel as heavy as you thought they would when your alarm drags you from sleep the next morning. You could even say you were looking forward to waking up, which was not how your Saturday mornings usually played out.

Immediately you reach over for your phone and unlock it, smiling like an idiot at the Home safe :) text waiting for you. You chew your lip as you scroll through the many bubbles of conversation, stomach twisting in delight as you re-read through the topics you managed to bounce through in the few hours of texting before you had to call it quits at 2:14am and send a final – Goodnight Frankie x

You had paced your apartment after that, ringing your hands together anxiously and eyeing the clock as the seconds ticked past, scowling at your reflection in the mirror as you took your worries out on your teeth, scrubbing them much harder than necessary. Was a kiss too much? Is it too early for that kind of thing? You had only literally just started talking. Should you quickly text and say it was an accident? It’s not like you can say you sent it to the wrong person – the message had his fucking name in it.

The sound you made when you got a – Sweet dreams mystery girl x – in return wasn’t even remotely human and the words swirled around your head long after you fell asleep.

The reservations you had originally developed on being set up, yet again, quickly dissipated the longer you and Frankie exchanged messages. There had been no awkward block of nothing between texts, no dragging up mediocre subjects to keep the conversation rolling… it had just flowed so effortlessly, so naturally – something which had never happened before with Benny’s previous candidates. The only other candidate that you had managed to have a comfortable conversation with was Will, and that was only after you had both agreed that there was no attraction between the two of you.

Over text, Frankie seemed funny – quick witted and sarcastic – and often had you snorting into your drink over a comment or joke made at his own or his friends’ expenses. No, you weren’t even remotely hesitant about this anymore. If anything, your evening of conversation just made you that much more eager to meet him.

It’s much later in the day when you finally message him, having kept the temptation to message him at bay while you tidied up, keeping it short and sweet with a, How’s the head? You chew your lip, eyes flicking over the message with thoughtful eyes before quickly tagging a little kiss on the end and pressing send. Not even two minutes later, your phone goes off on the coffee table and the clammy hands return tenfold when you read over the message a good fifteen times.

Can I call?

Shit. Shit. He wants to call? And like… talk? With voices? What if you stutter? Choke? Oh god, your throat’s dry. It’s dry – how can you talk with a dry throat? You can’t. Fuck. Fuck. Drink – you need a drink –

You quickly run to the kitchen, filling a glass of water and swallowing it down as quickly as you could, not at all caring that it half spills down your chin and onto your jumper. You gasp for air when you finish, slamming the glass down and catching the drips of water from your chin with the back of your hand. You slide across your floor as you run back out to your couch and grab your phone, typing a quick reply.

Yeah sure.

Too casual. Was that too casual? Should you have added a kiss? Shit – it’s already sent. It’s fine. It’s fine. He asked a short question, and he got a short answer. It makes sense. It’s fine. You yelp when your phone starts to vibrate in your hand, his contact name flashing across the screen.

Oh God.

Oh God.

He’s calling. He’s somewhere out there, phone to his ear, waiting for you to answer and you’re what – standing in your lounge and looking at your phone, watching it ring, like an idiot? What are you doing?

You inhale deeply, clearing your throat a little before swiping the green icon.

“Hi,”

Oh God, what was that? What was that tone?

“Hey. Sorry – looking at my phone screen and trying to reply was making my eyes feel like they’re exploding.”

His voice is deep, hoarse from his night of drinking, and overwhelmingly pleasant to listen to. It brings a flush of warmth across your cheeks, an electric tingle across your skin.

You laugh softly, “It’s alright. Tequila wasn’t a good idea, then?”

He grunts quietly and your stomach tightens, throat suddenly dry again at the suggestive sound.

“It never is.” He groans, melting into a long yawn and you start to feel a little guilty. Did your text wake him up?

“I’m sorry, I should let you sleep –”

“No! No, it’s fine. I uh – I really want to talk to you… if you’re not busy.” He adds onto the end, almost nervously. 

“I’m not busy,” you reassure quietly, smiling shyly down at your lap. “I’m all yours.”

He chuckles lowly, and the sound settles deep in your belly, “Good.”

You don’t understand how conversation could just be so... easy with someone you’ve never met. For a brief moment, you worry you might be talking too much, maybe boring him, but when he keeps asking questions, encourages you to continue, you think that maybe he doesn’t mind, maybe he actually is just interested in what you’re saying.

When dinner comes around, you’re in a fit of giggles as you prepare your food, listening to pots and pans bang and clash on the other end as Frankie prepares his own meal. You cook together, eat together, and then settle in front of Netflix together, debating back and forth on what to watch. The evening melts into night, one movie turns into two, and eventually conversation dies down.

Sometime in the night, you roll over, briefly waking to fix and fluff the pillow under your head when a sound makes you pause. Your head jerks up and you look around, finding yourself sprawled across the couch, and a blanket twisted around your legs.

Glancing over to your phone to check the time, you touch the screen and blink in surprise when you see your phone call is still connected with Frankie, who’s quiet on the other end. You move to press the red button but freeze when a soft snore sounds from the device, and a warm flood of affection grows in your heart and spreads throughout your chest.

He’s asleep.

You listen a moment longer, smiling tenderly when more quiet snores reach your ears. Instead of hanging up, you bring the phone closer, tucking it just beside your pillow before laying your head back down and closing your eyes, letting the quiet breathing soothe you back to sleep.

If the strong butterflies turning your stomach were anything to go by, you were in serious trouble.

+

Tags: @anu-simps @seasonschange-butpeopledont @withasideofmeg @you-got-me-starry-eyed @emilykjh​ @peterhollandkait​ @sara-alonso​ @starlightsearches​ @bookishofalder​ @empress-palpat1ne​ @shadowolf993​ @rosiefridayrogersunday​ @canyonmirrors​ @eoz-stuff​ @blackonemasie​ @layniapetrovnaaa​

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #francisco morales x reader #francisco morales x you #frankie morales x f!reader #francisco morales x f!reader #frankie morales #francisco morales #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #no benny in this chap #but he's coming

[kookieswan]

Hi!! May I request a Namjoon x pregnant wife!reader where they’re on a trip to the tropics and they’re just swinging in a hammock looking at the sunset, and Namjoon’s just having a “wow. She is my wife and look at what we made out of our love for each other! She is glowing and looks beautiful and I want to give her the world” moment. Basically them being very in love and thankful for each other? Maybe reminiscing on their relationship but idk. Pls make it very fluffy and have joon carry reader at one point 😭🥺

This is the fluffiest thing I’ve ever received in my ask box omg I love it 😭😭😭 I will absolutely do my best to capture what you’ve envisioned here dear 💜

Namjoon x Reader

Word Count: 800+

Warnings: None. Lots of fluff.

Breeze

Giggles leave your lips as Namjoon trails his hand down your side, lightly tickling you and making you squirm. You push in closer to him in turn, burying your face into his warm chest. He laughs a little and pulls you in further, letting you rest your body against his.

The breeze picks up suddenly, and you feel the hammock you both reside in start to sway a little. It’s honestly like living in another world though, swinging in a hammock with your lovely husband beside the ocean. The whole island was so beautiful, and Namjoon insisted that you very carefully explore it.

Namjoon had asked you not too long after finding out you were pregnant, wanting to get some traveling in before you were too far along. You had agreed wholeheartedly, and next thing you knew you were on a plane and set to have a 3-week vacation.

He had literally rented out a whole beach with a cute little cottage looking structure, wanting to spend time with you and only you. He’d been so busy recently and did that you both deserved time together. You weren’t complaining of course, getting to seen him all day every day sounded like a dream.

Namjoon brings his hand down to rest at your stomach and you nearly pur, loving the feeling of his large hands on you. You were about 18 weeks now, pregnant belly really starting to show. Namjoon always had his hands on you now, rubbing your belly gently, leaving light little kisses, and even talking to the baby.

He had made it very clear that he loved the changes in your body too. Constantly gazing at you, warm eyes watching you splash around in the ocean or play around in the sand. It was the icing on the cake when he mentioned how sexy you looked recently, the memory making you smile. Your bring your own hand down the your stomach, placing it over his own.

Even though you were at the stage to find out the gender of the baby, you both had decided it would be nice to let it be a surprise. Namjoon made it very clear he’d love his child not matter what, and was excited to have either a son or daughter. You feel your eyes get a little teary and take a shuddering breath.

“What’s wrong pretty girl? You okay? Is something wrong?” You assure him your fine as his face comes into view, gazing down at you with wide eyes. You laugh a little and bring your hand up to his cheek, caressing it softly to try and get him to calm down.

“I’m fine Joon. Just thinking about how much I love you and our family.” His dimples come out then, nearly blinding you with how bright his smile is. It could compare to the sun, his happiness a beacon.

“What a coincidence. I was just thinking about our wedding last year. You looked so beautiful… made me the happiest man alive that day. You’d remember to do that a lot, make me so happy.” He lays back down then, drawing you up into his arms and his hand settles back on your belly. It’s a relief to know how exited he is to start a family with you. You remember clearly how delighted he looked when you dropped the news, hugging you tightly to his chest.

“I’m living the dream, getting so just relax here with the most beautiful person in the world…. I love you so much baby.” Even though you’ve heard the sentiment a million times, you still feel your face grow hot. It would never get old, hearing how much Namjoon adored you. Of course, you adore him just as much.

“I think I’m the one living the dream, having such an amazing husband. You do so much for me Joon…” he shakes his head a little, telling you that he’d give you the world if he could. Your stomach growls loudly then and he bursts out laughing, shifting around to extract himself from the hammock.

“It seems you don’t need the world, maybe just some lunch?” You laugh along with him, trying your best to also get out of the hanging bed. Namjoon doesn’t allow this though, slipping one arm under your knees while the other wraps under your back. He lifts you up bridal style without issues, grinning down at your bewildered face before turning and heading back to your little home.

“I love you.” You say it with certainty, curling into his chest a little as he slowly walks through the arm sand. His fingers tighten a little bit where they sit against your soft skin, and he pulls you in even further to himself.

“I love you too baby. More than anything.”

#namjoon fluff #namjoon x reader #namjoon imagine #namjoon drabble #namjoon one shot #bts imagine #bts one shot #bts x reader #answers

[duckprintspress]

What is a Story?

When Duck Prints Press put out our call for applicants, we asked everyone to submit “a sample of their work (between 1,000 and 2,000 words)… [that] must function as a short story.” When we reviewed the 100+ samples we received, we noticed many areas where writers commonly struggled. Based on what we learned, we’ve planned a number of blog posts to discuss these challenging areas, and we’ve decided to tackle one of the most frequent issues first. Many otherwise strong submissions lost points on our rubric line regarding “plot and events,” and specifically, they scored a 1 or a 2 because “the story has no plot (for example, is a vignette).” 

So, this begs the question, what is a story, and, of course, what isn’t a story?

(note that throughout this post, I use the word “narrative” to refer to any amount of text that may or may not be a story, and I use story only in a more narrow, specific sense.)

What is a story?

The answer is deceptively simple: a story is any narrative that has a plot. But...what is a plot? There are many ways to define a plot, but at its most basic, a plot has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and by the ending, something has changed. If, at the end of the story, nothing has changed, then it’s not a story. However, even if something has changed, it’s still not necessarily a story, because characters and time-frame also influence the definition. A narrative without at least one character is not a story. Likewise, a narrative time-frame, if it’s discussing events at a meta-level (“this happened, then this happened, then this happened”) may show that changes occur, but it’s still not a story - it’s an overview or an outline. The lines, of course, can be blurry - and where any given author, reader, or DPP reviewer draws the line between “this is a story” and “this isn’t a story” will vary. 

How is a story communicated to the reader?

To function as a story, the narrative must include characters. Now, character doesn’t necessarily have to mean person, or even require sentience, but there must be some point of view being explored, and if the character is an animal or an inanimate object, writing it as a character will require a degree of anthropomorphizing. The key aspect is that the character has some form of agency - some ability to interact with and influence their surroundings. This character will have a point of view and a perspective that affects how they perceive the story’s setting, and by the end of the story this character should have either changed themselves, or changed their surroundings, or changed their relationships. The circumstances around this character must be different by the end of the story than they were at the beginning - or else it’s not a story.

What is change?

As part of the narrative, one or more characters in the story must engage in some form of activity that results in the world around them changing. Writing advice most oftenly calls this “conflict,” but honestly? I hate that word. The classic couching of “person vs. self, person vs. person, person vs. nature, person vs. society, person vs. fate” as the available types of conflict is tired. Defining the only kind of change as conflict and specifically describing it as “x versus y” is to automatically get a potential writer thinking in terms of antagonism. While antagonism is one available type of change, it’s not the only, and while many pieces of writing advice point out that these “versus” constructions don’t mean enmity by nature...why not simply choose a less confusing construction, one that doesn’t require addenda to explain the existence of narratives that clearly are stories but are less “versus” and more “and” - “person and self,” “person and person,” “person and nature,” “person and society,” “person and fate.” I’ve opted to use the word change, because one of the clearest ways to tell if a narrative is a story or not is to look at the nature of the character(s) are at the beginning, and look at the nature of them at the end, and say - what’s different? Maybe they’ve built something. Maybe they’ve reached a new understanding. Maybe they’ve conquered a challenge. Maybe they’ve altered their perspective. Maybe they’ve learned something. Maybe, they’ve changed the world, or maybe, they’ve just changed a light bulb - but something has changed.

Before some writing snob comes at me and says, “okay, fine, we dare you to come up with a plot that doesn’t fit into the classic five conflict types” ...of course we can’t. That model functions because all stories can be shoehorned into it, as long as very loose definition of “conflict” and “versus” are used. But because it’s described in oppositional terms, a lot of writers get distracted by that terminology and think there has to be, well, a conflict, in the narrow definition of the word. And that’s clearly absurd - many of our favorite fanfiction tropes, for example, are fluffy and comforting and soft precisely because they’re not about conflict, they’re about harmony. Yes, “enemies to lovers” is wonderful, but so is “friends to lovers.” Two people going on a date that ends with a marriage proposal is a story: they started out as a couple and ended engaged. Something has changed - their relationship status. But to call that “person versus person,” while perhaps technically correct, is ludicrous. Now, to keep it interesting, there might be some “person versus self” - “I’m not worthy of this love, omg do they really care for me, oh will society give us problems if we say yes?” which is how it can be shoehorned into the “conflict” model. But be it ever so soft, and their love ever so accepted, and their faith in each other ever so steady - if there really is no conflict, just those two people meeting up and having a nice night and ending in a proposal...it’s still a story. To say it’s not a story because there was no conflict, only an advancement of their relationship...yes, a story like that is borderline to being a vignette or “slice of life” narrative. Certainly, if there’s zero sources of tension, it may not be a very interesting story, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a story. 

What else does a story need?

Honestly - not much. Don’t get us wrong - a story is stronger if it has a setting so that it doesn’t just take place in endless blankness. A story with multiple characters but no form of dialog (verbal or non-verbal) may be a little flat. A story where something changes but some of the introduced plot elements aren’t resolved will feel incomplete to a reader. A story without any negativity could be boring. Stories lacking these elements may not be good stories...or they could be amazing, and innovative, showing how a tale can be told without elements we usually consider essential! As long as something or someone has changed, and the story is told in a narrative, descriptive format that includes a character - it’s a story.

What isn’t a story?

Things that aren’t stories fall into two broad categories:

Narratives that have description, characters, dialogue, setting, and other story elements, but nothing changes. Examples of this are “slice of life” narratives and what, in fandom-parlance, would be called an episode coda or canon insert - a chunk of narrative deliberately meant to make a bridge between two established events but in which nothing can change because the surrounding events remain established. (A coda or insert might be a story, it varies.)

Narratives that are either entirely “show” (for example, a vignette) or entirely “tell” (for example, a synopsis),  These can also be seen as relating to time - either there’s little or no passage of time (usually the case in vignettes) or far too much passage of time (usually the case in synopses). Narratives like this may or may not include a character, but even if they do, they’re still not stories. Why not? Because any story that is entirely “show” and involves minimal passage of time is unlikely to result in change, and instead will be an extended description of a moment. And any story that is entirely “tell” and depicts a large swath are overviews - there’s no element to actually grab a reader and no reason the reader should care about this dry relationship of events. That’s not a story - it’s a history textbook.

Drawing the lines between these categories can be difficult, and to some extent will come down to taste. Anyone who says there’s a hard-and-fast rule in writing is a liar. Just because a synopsis or a “slice of life” narrative isn’t usually a story doesn’t mean they will never be one. But, in general, if you’re looking at a piece of work and you’re trying to determine if it’s a story or not, there are some signs that will strongly suggest it’s not a story:

There are no characters.

There is no setting.

Nothing has changed between the beginning and ending of the narrative.

The entire narrative is an extended description of a single person/object/setting.

The entire narrative could easily be reworded into a sequence of, “thing one happened, then thing two happened, then thing three happened, then thing four happened.”

The narrative feels like a “pause,” or a “bridge” that takes place between two events that aren’t depicted in the narrative.

A central conflict or issue is introduced or described in details, but nothing is done to try to solve the issue.

Now, for the most important part of this discussion of what isn’t a story: writing something that isn’t a story isn’t a bad thing! Especially in fanfiction communities, we live for self-indulgent narratives that make us happy. We love to see those “moments between.” We live for a thought-out thousand-year history for some setting that didn’t originally have that much background. These kinds of narratives are fun to write, and especially when they’re part of an existing franchise, can be a delight to read. We are not saying that there is literally anything wrong with writing a narrative that isn’t a story. 

That said, Duck Prints Press’s applicant call specifically asked authors to submit a writing sample that was a story, with the eventual goal of selecting authors to write short stories for an anthology. Which is to say: there’s nothing wrong at all with writing “slice of life” stories, codas, canon inserts, vignettes, or synopses - it’s simply not what we asked people to submit in this specific case, and we’ve come to see that a lot of people submitted non-stories without an apparent understanding of the difference, and we wanted to explain that difference.

But, to everyone reading this: write whatever brings you joy, in as much detail or vagueness as makes you happy, and share it with whoever you want. Just also understand, that for many types of narratives, if you’re asked “is that a story?” it’s not. That’s not to create a hierarchy - they’re all equal as art forms, they’re just not the same.

Okay I kinda understand this in theory but what do these differences actually look like in practice?

In long-form works, it’s usually relatively easy to recognize what is a story and what isn’t. Almost every novel ever published has a plot, and has things change, and is therefore a story. (though there are exceptions - Wikipedia lists a few longer vignettes and, when done thoughtfully, it can be astonishingly effective.) However, in shorter works, it can be difficult to tell the difference - and, as previously mentioned, the lines can blur.

In the interest of giving an idea of what the differences are, here are a few examples I quickly cooked up to try to show you all, since I’ve done a lot of “telling” so far (this blog post: also not a story, ha!) and very little demonstration. These are each around 150 words, to show that even in a tiny word count, any of these narrative structures is a viable choice. (Sorry these aren’t high literature - I just threw them together for this post, so I’d have something that suited.)

(read more)

A story - a narrative with a beginning, middle, and end, where something changes:

The door slammed open. Looking up from her embroidery, Victoria blinked as Margaret strode into the room.There was an air of expectancy that was inexplicable to Victoria; she grew more confused when Margaret approached and dropped to one knee.

“What are you doing?” Heart pounding, Victoria attempted self-restraint, but she couldn’t rein in her hope, because it almost looked like...it seemed like...but--

“Proposing,” announced Margaret, pulling a velvet-covered box from her pocket and opening to reveal an emerald set in a gold band.

“But you can’t!”

Margaret tilted her head to the side and frowned. “Why not?”

Objections occurred to Victoria, but examining them...she couldn’t think of a one that Margaret wouldn’t demolish with her usual brilliance. “You know what? You’re right. Who’s to stop us? And...I accept.”

And as Margaret slipped the ring onto Victoria’s finger, she knew: there could be no objection. Nothing had ever felt so right in her life.

“Slice of life” - a narrative with a beginning, middle, and end, where nothing changes:

“What a day!” said James, dropping onto the couch with an exhausted sigh. 

“I know what you mean,” Tom agreed. He fumbled a hand across the cushion separating them, and James delighted in the simple comfort of threading their fingers together.

A beep, beep, beep sounded in the kitchen, announcing that the microwave had finished nuking their leftovers.

“You getting that?” asked Tom.

“It’s your turn!” James countered.

“But I don’t want to let go of your hand.” Tom gave his hand a squeeze, and a pleased glow suffused James’s chest.

It was Tom’s turn to retrieve their dinner.

But Tom was right - holding hands was wonderful.

“Let’s get it together,” James suggested. 

Hesitating, Tom remained still as James sit up and gave a tug on their joined arms, then he broke into a smile and rose at James’s side.

“I love the way you think.”

“I love you, too, darling”

And together - always together - they got their dinner.

“Bridge” scene, episode coda, or canon insert-style fic - a narrative with a beginning, middle, and end, where nothing changes:

Arriving home after the battle, Sandy opened the rough-hewn door and shed her damaged armor. Her dented cuirass had left an aching bruise across her chest; she carried it to the smithy out back for repair in the morning. A gash on her thigh throbbed where an arrow had pierced the straps holding her greaves in places; she brought them to her leather-working station. Nicks and fissures marred her once-gleaming sword blade. All Sandy wanted was to collapse in bed, but resisted the pull of relaxation, because blood limned the damaged places red, and repair to the damaged weapon couldn’t wait. Taking a seat, placed her feet on the treadles that set her whet stone to spinning and set about polishing out every imperfection.

Yes, she was exhausted.

But her sword must be cleaned, and smoothed, and honed, and prepared.

Sandy must be prepared.

There would always be another battle to be fought.

Vignette, a narrative without a beginning, a middle, or an end, which may or may not have a character, and nothing changes and in which the emphasis is on showing, rather than telling (but, as in this example, a combination may be used):

The wind blew chill down the narrow mountain pass. All was silent, save for the rush of the breeze. All was still, save where gusts stirred the tall grasses and the branches of trees that reached, claw-like, toward the sky. 

Once upon a time, a stream had carved this cut through the cliffs, forcing its way through soft chalk and hard shale, leaving jagged stones that emerged from the steep pass walls like teeth. The stream was long dry, now, only water-smoothed stones strewn across the ground to show where it had ever been.

Once upon a time, travellers had traversed the dried-up rill bed, pounding down the dirt, knocking the rocks aside, leaving scars where their fires burned. They’d lived, and laughed, and explored, and sought...and left, never to return.

Now, there was nothing: nothing but the storm.

And all was silent.

And all was still.

And the wind blew, chill, down the narrow mountain pass.

Synopsis, a narrative with a beginning, a middle and an end, which may or may not have characters, and where something changes, and in which  the emphasis is on telling rather showing:

Emperor Xiang Zhen was born in 9884 to Dowager Empress Luo Zexi and the warlord Xiang Yijun. After his birth, there was a long period of strife. Those who supported Xiang Yijun’s claim to the throne battled those who still supported the Dowager Empress’s deceased husband Peng Zhenya. Eventually, the factions found common ground when Xiang Zhen came of age, and he was enthroned in 9902. 

With his reign came peace and prosperity. The arts flourished. Scholarship advanced, and many great Dao masters arose, using cultivation to rid the land of evil’s left by the long war. Xiang Zhen longed to join a Night Hunt himself, but he was trapped by his political position. He didn’t dare risk the fragile stability in the Empire. If something happened to him, the results could be catastrophic. So he studied, and ruled, and adjudicated, and endowed, and endured.

Xiang Zhen did as he must.

But, oh...he wished he weren’t alone.

I know this is long, so we’ll leave this discussion at this point. Hopefully you found it helpful, and please do let me know if you have any questions! Duck Prints Press is always here to offer support to writers, and we love getting writing asks!

#duck prints press #writing advice #original content

[taecalikook]

When the sea sleeps

summary : marriage should be based on love, but it’s not really the case with you and Seokjin. what’s more beneficial than two person who sworn off romances to get married out of obligation, right? but you should have known better, that keeping your heart straight from wanting someone like Kim Seokjin is next to impossible.

{fake marriage! au, strangers to lovers!au}

pairing : kim seokjin x reader

genre : major tooth rotting fluff, crack, smut(?)

word count : 23.720 (one-shot)

warning! mention of period and masturbation, daddy kink, big cock! seokjin, teasing, cock sucking, rough blowjob, deep throat, nipple play, oral (female receiving), riding, cum play, major fluffy love talk (?), dry hump, infidelity mentions, etc. ((omg))

“Hi, I am in the mart near our apartment. Anything you want?”

“Yes, please. I think we ran out of toothpaste and cleaning liquid. And can you get the usual donuts as well? Thank you.” Your husband replies meekly from the other side of the call. You hum in agreement, noting the order. 

“Will you be home soon?” You ask mundanely, a question based out of routinity instead of wanting an answer. Well, that’s just how it is with Seokjin.

“I don’t think so. Might have to stay late for work. You should head to bed first.”

“Okay, then. See you.” You nod and cut the call, shoving the phone to your pocket.

It’s been like this for the past two and a half years with Seokjin. Meeting him after being introduced by your mother, getting married after six months of vague dating, and then living rather as a roommate than husband and wife in your small apartment. Life has been good.

Well, it’s not like you are married for love.

Seokjin is 33 years old this year, and you are 31. Years ago, you weren’t really interested in marriage. You were fully capable of living on your own, not really interested in love and that’s about it. Even so, your mother never stopped sending you lists of men she’s going to introduce you to—but you quickly shut her off by busying yourself with work and all. 

Yet no matter how heartless you might be, seeing your mother crying her heart out before bed for god to give you a good husband and family, you finally caved and agreed to one blind date. She couldn’t be happier to give you the name of your suitor. 

Kim Seokjin. A 31 years old, living in his own apartment, working in a local bank as a manager. 

When you first heard about him, there’s no outstanding or over the top qualities he possessed, and probably that’s how you prefer him to be. Yet when you saw him first, there’s literally nothing else you preferred him to be.

“I’m sorry for this, but… I actually have no interest in marriage.”

He thought you would be slapping him across the face after saying such a ridiculous statement on the first meeting, yet when your face lightened up, he was not less than confused. 

“Me too! I only did this because of my mother.” You squealed in delight of finding the person that shares your pain. “I never intend to get married myself.” 

“God, I was scared you’ll take this the wrong way.” He finally sighed in relief, was afraid of offending you. “My mother, she is.. sick right now, and she has never stopped saying that she wants to see me married before she dies.”

“I understood that. And I’m sorry, I hope she’ll be fine soon.” You sincerely wished him well. As far as you were concerned, Seokjin looked like a great guy. He deserved better, anyway, and high chance he would be a good friend. It’s not often to see someone not too desperate to chase love after reaching your age.

After another hour talking about anything but yourself, Seokjin reaches out for the bill. “Are you up for desserts?” He asked with a thin smile, and you nod happily, thinking about the sweets you were about to consume.

That evening, when your mother asked what happened with the date, you told her that she shouldn’t expect more about Seokjin. Yet the day after, Seokjin messaged you asking for a second date, your mother was over the moon. And that was how you spent another six months in a vague relationship with Seokjin, where it seemed like both of you were serious, yet there’s no feelings attached. Seokjin was a best friend, and an outstanding listener, but that’s about it. 

One day, Seokjin asked about the idea of marrying you, whether you would detest the idea. And strangely, you didn’t. The week after, Saturday night you were just sitting in his apartment eating his homemade dishes, Seokjin asked whether you wanted him to marry you. After setting a few basic rules, and just like that you agree. 

That’s how you’ve been living with a bestfriend-like-husband.

Sex is absolutely off limit, and not that Seokjin has initiated it before. You are sleeping in the same bed, but Seokjin generously chooses the giant king bed that is rather disproportionate to the whole room to ensure both of you have personal space in bed. In the morning, Seokjin usually cooks, and you’ll take turns cleaning the apartment. You’ll water the small plants near the window, changing your bed sheet, and cleaning your wedding photo from dust. 

On Saturday or Sunday, both of you will have brunch together in the nearest cafe then lounge around watching netflix on your large TV. Once every month he’ll have a drink with fellow friends or you’ll meet up with your best friends, and meet with your parents or in-laws. 

Living with Seokjin is a series of routinity, and you actually don’t mind. Maybe you're already in the age when you are surreptitious, and had enough of surprises. 

After taking a long warm bath and getting inside your comfy sheets, you settle for a while in silence until a name comes up on your screen. Your mother-in-law is calling. You abruptly  rise to sit, pressing the green button. “Hi, mother. How are you doing?”

“I’m very great now listening to my precious daughter’s voice!” She gleefully squeals, strangely energized. You glance at the clock on your nightstand. It’s already ten. Now it reminds you Seokjin’s not home yet. “Seokjin’s father is having a birthday lunch this Saturday. You can come right? Do come by eleven, okay?” 

“Ah, I see. We will, mom.” You smile, internally noting the event to let Seokjin reserve his time. The talks then continue with your condition, whether you’re well or having sickness whatsoever—you know she actually means to ask if you’re going to give her a grandchild anytime soon. You answer demurely, not that it surprises you as your own mother has been going on and on and on about it as well. But how can you say that when you haven’t even kissed him more than five times in the past two and a half years?

But to think about it, Seokjin really has a great self-control if he really is not having an affair—for the lack of better terms—outside your marriage. Not that it would upset you whatsoever, it’s just not something you’d rather discuss with each other. Both of you agreed it would be okay to do whatever you both want, as long as you’re open to each other—but so far, nothing has implied otherwise. You somehow feel an urgency to talk about it, as you know Seokjin is a healthy man who must have his own needs as well—the one you can’t help with. 

After the call ends, Seokjin enters your bedroom at the same time, looking crumpled as ever. The top two buttons on his shirt are undone, face looks beyond exhaustion, and… the fly of his trousers is opened. You are unable to hold a sly smile.

“Are you tired?” You greet, and Seokjin nods, sighing deeply. 

“Today was pretty shitty. A client was being a jackass as per usual.” Seokjin throws his bag on the table, taking off his suit. “I think I’m going to take a long hot shower. You can sleep first.”

You hum. “Okay. I turned up the water heater, so you can go in now.”

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re a lifesaver.” Seokjin sighs in relief.

“You’re welcome. And Saturday, your father is having a birthday lunch and your mother asked us to come. Do arrange your schedule. And Seokjin?” You ask, and Seokjin looks up to you in confusion, waiting for you to continue.

“Your fly is open.”

“Fuck.” He curses and looks down, immediately zipping it close. “I hope I didn’t embarrass myself. And I swear it was nothing, I may have forgotten to close it in the restroom before going home.”

“It’s okay. You can do whatever you want, anyway.” You heartily giggle in amusement—with lots of subtle meaning behind words—settling back on your side of bed and hearing Seokjin softly closes the door behind him.

*

It’s already Friday, and somehow you still feel anxious. The day is closing soon, and tomorrow you’ll be meeting your in-laws for a family lunch, yet you are aware it’s not that simple. You have to pretend you have a real, conservative marriage with Seokjin, and it stresses you out. Not because you have to pretend to be in love—you’d rather think you’re relatively good at that, but having to lie to his parent’s face that Seokjin’s dick has ever entered you to get them a grandchild is nauseating.

“Why are you so tense, Y/N?” Hoseok chuckles, tapping your shoulder. “It’s Friday night. You should be all smiles.”

“Just meeting a few of my in-laws tomorrow. I’m a bit… nervous. That’s all.”

Jane who is sitting beside you immediately joins in. “Ah, that’s hard. My in-laws are jackasses, hence I’d rather steer clear from any family meetings. Why are you nervous? Are they annoying bastards as well?”

“No, they’re not like that.” You shake your head, confused on how to explain that you are not having a real marriage with Seokjin like most married couples. You’d rather not. “Well, I think I’m just having cold feet. That’s all.”

“You should come with us, then.” Hoseok offers with a whole ass large smile which shows his perfect teeth. “We’re having a drink tonight. No worry, we’re not going all the way to night. Just a slow one. You’ll be fine.”

That’s how you agreed to attend with a few of your peers, notably Hoseok and Jane who are your teammates, Namjoon from Legal, Jungkook from Accounting, and a few other friends you are only on name basis with. It surely started slow, and you gave Seokjin a short call before entering the bar. 

“Seokjin, hi. I’m out for drinks with friends, I’ll be a bit late, okay? But not too late though, only for two hours, three hours max.” You smile at Jungkook who is asking you to come. You gesture for him to enter before you. “I’ll give you a call when I’m done.”

“I see. Where are you drinking exactly?” He asks calmly. You quickly mention the name and address of the bar. “Okay. Let me know when you’ll be coming home, I’ll get you.”

“Ah, it’s okay! I think Hoseok or Jungkook can drive me home. No worry.”

“I see. Be safe, okay? And don’t get too hammered, we still have that lunch tomorrow.” Seokjin calmly reminds you. Probably due to the fact that you’re that quick to lose control, and the struggles he had to face on a regular basis to deal with drunk you.

Something inside you stirs at the remembrance of tomorrow’s event, but you quickly shrug it. You’re drinking to forget, anyway.  “Of course. See you!”

As it should’ve been easily predicted, you’re really loose with your alcohol control, especially with the great atmosphere and company. With Hoseok and Jane, one drink becomes two, and then four, and then in a blink, you lose count. You really should’ve predicted it, now drunkenly blabbering whatever inside your mind. Yet at once, you stumble on your seat and nearly fall until Jungkook catches you by the waist.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook checks up on you, staring at your blushing face, eyes hooded like completely feeling the alcohol dancing in your spine. “You look drunk, Y/N. Maybe you should cut the alcohol.”

“Yeah, I think I should.” You sigh, resting the glass back on the table. You rub your forehead. “I shouldn’t be drinking, since tomorrow I’m meeting my in-laws, and it’s.. fucking.. suck! You know why, Jungkook?” Jungkook shakes his head, amusement visible in his eyes while looking at you.

“Because they’ll keep asking about grandchildren.” You scoff. “They’ll keep wanting me to have a child, especially with the fact that Seokjin’s younger brother already has three of those. But how can I say it to them?”

“Why? Is there any reason you don’t want to have kids? Are you waiting?”

You hit the table with your fisted hand, aggrieved. “It’s not that. How can I when.. when.. I haven’t even had sex with my own husband?” 

“What?” Jungkook really couldn’t believe his ear. You have been married for more than two years and haven’t had sex with your husband? How is that even possible is beyond him. “Are you serious? Why?”

“Y/N.” 

Jungkook looks back at the source of the voice, finding Seokjin’s dark eyes looking at your figure, resting your head on the table. Jungkook immediately lets go of his hand on your skin. “Ah, sorry.”

“It’s okay. She must be drunk.” Seokjin sighs, circling his hands around your waist. Not that he didn’t expect it, but he feels extremely uncomfortable with the fact that someone else is aware of your little arrangement, especially with it being someone he doesn’t even know besides a name. “I’ll take her now. Here.” He says, slapping a few bills for your drinks.

Not even muttering goodbyes for Jungkook or other drunk people on the table, Seokjin instantly takes you back to his car. A minute of silence he’s staring at your face, Seokjin lightly flicks your head in annoyance before taking off, after ensuring you’re well secured on the passenger side.

*

“I’m sorry.”

The moment you’re awake, the memory instantly hits you like a truck inside your throbbing head. Constantly shoving drinks up your throat, dancing with Jane and Hoseok, and little talk with Jungkook. You also faintly make out Seokjin’s face getting you from the bar in your memory—right before passing out. God, it’s totally a mess. You really should avoid drinks again at all costs now.

“Are you awake?” Seokjin calmly asks while stirring breakfast on the pan. You nod, standing beside him. “The soup will be ready in a second. You can get our plates.”

Realizing that the talk is about to happen, you silently follow his order and prepare a few of the utensils on the table. You sit down to wait for Seokjin to join, and when he does, you are still waiting for him to open the conversation. In the midst of eating in silence, Seokjin suddenly breaks the silence.

“Do you want to have a child?”

Out of shock, you literally choke on your soup, the liquid entered the wrong pipe. Yet even when tapping your back lightly, he still has the nerves to laugh. 

“That’s not funny!” You scowl in annoyance, gulping the water Seokjin offered. Your husband is a total jerk, you really should’ve known.

“It is. And I really need to know, since last night you were talking to your friend about our sexless marriage in such a heart wrenching manner I just had to ask.”

You are silenced in guilt with the mention of last night, resting back the glass. “It’s not like that.” 

Seokjin cocks his head. “So what is it like?”

“No, I was just stressed about the fact that our families are pressuring us to have a child.” You sigh, never actually telling Seokjin about the pressure on your shoulder. “My mother even once asked me to consult with Obstetricians if my eggs are not working. Why didn’t she doubt your sperm instead?! Annoying.”

“Y/N. You really should’ve told me if my mother and yours has been pressing you to have a child.” Seokjin speaks in good nature, even with a hint of scolding. “I will let her know that it’s our decision, and we’ll have kids whenever we are ready.”

You nod. “Thank you. And I’m very sorry, by the way. Yesterday was a bit much, I know.”

“It’s fine.” He says, tapping the top of your head. “I’ll take a bath first, and we’ll go about an hour. Okay?”

And as predicted, the one that welcomes you and Seokjin even from far is Taehyun, Taehyung’s five years old eldest son. He runs with his two little feet with a light shout of glee until he clings to Seokjin’s thigh. “Auntie! Uncle! Hi!”

“Hi, Taehyun! How are you?!” Seokjin instantly takes him by the waist, bringing him up to his grasp and kisses his lumpy cheek. You are unable to hide a swooned smile. “Are you a smart boy now? Have you made friends in kindergarten?”

“Of course!” He squeals, and proceeds to tell him about his exciting kindergarten stories. You walk in, immediately welcomed by Tasha, Taehyung’s wife in a bear hug. “Sister-in-law! How are you doing? You look great.”

“I’m fine, Tasha, thanks.” You giggle in delight. You have always been close with Tasha, as she is a wonderful woman and a good friend as well. “You look amazing. And god, that hair is exquisite.”

Tasha laughs while sheepishly fixing her hair of light purple highlights. “Got a few dirty looks from my boss and Taehyung’s mother, but it’s all worth it I guess. Who said mother of three can’t rock highlights, right?”

“Absolutely!”

“You two beautiful ladies should come in.” Seokjin’s father beams at the two, gesturing to enter the house. “My wife has already prepared loads and loads of food, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“Happy birthday, father.” You smile, giving the old man a hug. “I hope this year is the best year that brings happiness to your life.”

“Well, a wish that this is not my last year in life is sufficient, but that is well welcomed as well.” He jokes, as the three of you enter the home. “Thanks anyway, Y/N. Greatly appreciated.”

“My granddaughters!” Your mother-in-law literally shouts, kissing you both on the cheek. “You both look amazing. My two sons should be thanking their lucky stars for having you both as a wife.”

“We are, mother. Every night.” Taehyung appears on your side, giving you a side hug of welcome. “How are you, sister-in-law? You’re doing great, right?”

“Amazing, Taehyung. Thank you for asking. I hope you’re well rested while taking care of the lovely miniatures of you.” You look at the three children, Taehyun, the twin Taejin and Taerin playing with their toys in the middle of the living room with your husband. 

“The sitter helps, of course.” Taehyung giggles, and Tasha elbows him with a scowl. Your mother quickly wraps the heart warming greetings and guides the whole family to be seated for the lunch prepared. And boy is the dining table packed with countless foods, not even including the dessert on the small table in the corner of the room. You just hope this won’t go to waste.

“No worries, we’ll be packing this as well to have it distributed to neighboring orphanages along with a few other donations.” Seokjin’s mother beams, sensing your worry after looking onto the countless plates.

An hour passes by quickly with the family digging on the delish in front of them. While chatting among themselves, Taehyung and Tasha hand their own gift to his father. “Here it is, father. Happy 65th birthday, hope you are always happy and healthy.” He beams, hugging his father. The large package is heavy on his hand, and your father in law laughs in glee.

It was a beautiful sight, yet you feel terribly uneasy. You haven’t gotten him anything, and Seokjin never discussed this before. How can you forget? God, you’ve really shame yourself and Seokjin in front of his family.

“What is this?” The old man questions and rips the wrapper.

“Open it.” Father quickly opens the package, and sees multiple items neatly stuffed in the box. “Healthy supplements and tea, warm jacket, acupuncture mat, few other things that can help you live longer.” Taehyung grins. The old man rolls his eyes, but nonetheless looks content with the gift.

“Thank you, son! Will put this into a good use.”

Amongst your panic of reaching out to Seokjin beside you, he instead takes turns in handing the gift of his own, an envelope, which catches you by surprise. He never talked about bringing a gift before. “This is from me and Y/N, father. Happy birthday.”

“What is this?” Your father curiously opens the envelope. At once, he literally squeals, unable to hide the delight in his face. “A two way ticket to Japan? Son, this is too much.”

“It’s not. It’s the least we can do for you and mother.” Seokjin says good-naturedly, like the precious son he is. You stare at him strangely. “Y/N and I also arranged a few stops that could be great to improve your health as well. No worries, there will be a guide as you’ll be on tour.”

“Thank you, son!” Your father and mother take turns hugging both you and Seokjin, and you only reply while in a hazen state, don’t know how or what to feel. As long as you know, it all comes from his pocket, and it’s his money to spend. You don’t even know why you feel weirded out. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Can you at least pretend my gifts are worthy too?” Taehyung jokes, shaking his head in faux disappointment. “The health supplements cost a fortune too, father! You’re being too mean with your reaction.”

“I’m just so happy my two sons are happy with their own family.” The old man beams in delight. “And your mother prepared a gift for you and Seokjin too, Y/N. Darling, you can give it to them, okay? I’m going to the restroom.”

“Why aren’t you giving it to me too?” Taehyung whines to his mother as Tasha elbows him for the nth time already. 

“You don’t get one because you don’t need it, Taehyung.” 

Seokjin’s mother quickly shoves you a gift with the largest of smiles, and truth to be told, you instantly feel uneasy. A gift in which you need and Taehyung don’t? An easy guess instantly comes to your senses. It must be it. There’s no other way.

“We’ll open this when we get home.” You turn your head to Seokjin, seeing how expressionless he has become. Is he angry? He swiftly takes the gift from you, resting it on the other side of the room.

“Ah, it’s good to. Just be careful using it, okay? It’ll be very helpful with the conception, trust me. It’s been passed down with generations.” Seokjin’s mother winks, looking very satisfied, yet you feel queasy, feeling like you’re soon puking your heart out. On your side, you can detect how silent Taehyung and Tasha have become, and you swear you never felt this pathetic and miserable before.

“Thank.. you.”

Seokjin holds you by the hand with his face is beyond enraged now—yet you know he could never be angry with his parents. He’s a mama's boy, and you like it that he is, but you really feel like going home and crying your heart out. But you have to endure longer hours feeling like total shit with your in-laws around.

“Father, mother, Y/N and I had to go home. I just remember we had stuff to do at home.” Seokjin curtly says, and you whip your head at him in surprise. You mostly did not expect it. 

“Why? You don’t really have to do it right now—but if you really have to, it’s okay.” Your mother giggles, content with the idea that you and your husband need to leave because both of you are going to fuck and give them grandchildren. God, your head literally throbs with the misunderstanding.

“Y/N, get to the car.” Seokjin mutters tensely, there is not a hint of emotion beside morse in his tone. “Mom, can we talk?”

“Seokjin, no.” You whisper while tugging on his sleeve. “Don’t do it.”

“Y/N, get to the car.” He repeats, like he is not up for any negotiation. You are scared of what he’s going to say to his mother. Is he going to say about the fact that your marriage is faux and is only done to please her? But that’s not what you want, just thinking about it makes you sick. “You can leave the gift here.”

Mildly confused at the sudden tense situation, your mother-in-law silently nods and complies to talk with her son. Against his order, you pick up the gift and move to give Taehyung, Tasha and their three children a parting hug. 

“Hey, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Tasha worriedly says, and you nod with a strained smile. “Be safe in driving home.”

“We will. Taehyung, thanks.” You hug the pouting guy, as he gives you a squeezing hug of consolation. 

“Our parents can be prodding like that. I am very sorry.”

Walking back into the room finding the confusing tense, Seokjin’s father looks at you about to say goodbye. “Are you leaving?” 

“Yes. I’m afraid we have something coming up.” You forced a smile, yet you know your father-in-law completely understands the whole situation.

“Okay then. Give this old man a parting hug.” The kind man then hugs you dearly like you’re a daughter he never had. “Thank you for coming. And I’m very sorry.”

“It’s nothing! Everything is great.” Like an idiot, you still try to lie through your teeth in front of the wise man—it’s ridiculous. “Happy birthday, father.”

Walking inside Seokjin’s car, you patiently wait another ten minutes until he comes in with an unreadable expression. And when he sits beside you, he heave a deep breath. 

“Is everything okay? What did you say?” You fret in panic.

“Nothing much. That it’s already tough for both of us now, and we’ll have kids whenever we want to.” Seokjin hums, glancing at the gift his mother gave yet refusing to comment. “I’m very sorry that I haven’t realized this before. I know it must be stressing you out.”

“Not really. I’m just.. tired.” You hollowly laugh, Seokjin slowly taking off the house onto the street. Spending a few minutes staring at the gift secured on your lap, you mutter—more to yourself. 

“Do you think we should just have a child?” 

At the unexpected question, Seokjin glances at you. Next five minutes are spent in deep silence before...

“Do you love me?”

The questions really create a ripple of shock in your whole body. You literally have no idea whether he’s being serious or not.

“W-what?”

“I don’t want to have a child when both of us know there is no love here. We both don’t love each other.” Seokjin mutters lowly, eyes trained on the road. “Let’s not put more innocent people into misery.”

Misery.

Misery.

You don’t know why that word hurts more than you thought it would, coming out from Seokjin’s mouth.

*

As expected, the things between you and Seokjin have become pretty frosty. Sunday morning, he excused himself to go fishing with Yoongi—his best friend of ten years, and you were thankful that you do not have to waste another second in his presence. Being with him is hard enough, not that you have to be reminded of the hurtful things he said.

Misery.

Yes, misery indeed. Having to marry someone you don’t have feelings for. 

But you thought he was a friend. Not that you chained him into this, and he was the one asking your hand in loveless marriage. He is being a total jackass. And you never should’ve said such nonsense. Having a child with someone you don’t love? Seriously? Even couples in love can end up in divorce because of kids—much less your ridiculous marriage.

And it sucks that this suffocates your whole being yet you can’t tell anyone, since nobody really knows you don’t have any attachment to your husband.

Well, beside...

“Hello? Is this Y/N?”

Listening to the velvety voice on the other side of the call, you instinctively gulp. Are you seriously going to talk to someone about this, more less Jeon Jungkook? You must be quite desperate. “Hi, Jungkook! I’m sorry to interrupt you. Is this.. an alright time?”

Jungkook chuckles on the other side. “Well, not really, but I can make it alright for you.”

You groan, instantly retracting your own will to talk about it to him. “You seriously did not just flirt with a married woman, right?”

“Of course not! Who do you take I am.” He giggles in mirth, and you roll your eyes. You really made a mistake by calling him. “I’m a bit busy now, but will be free in around… an hour. Do you want to meet?”

“I didn’t exactly say what I wanted to ask for.”

“I just know.” Jungkook hums, and you literally can imagine his annoying smirk on the other side of the call. “I’ll text you the details.”

You spend another seconds in silence, but reply nonetheless. There’s no harm in meeting a friend. Right? 

“Sure.”

*

“So let me get this straight. You—in this advanced, 21st century—agreed to a marriage where the both of you don’t even have little bit of interest in marriage? And all because your parents want you to?”

Now that Jungkook is saying it in front of your face, it does sound foolish.

“Is it.. weird?”

“What the fuck, Y/N. It’s not just weird. It’s crazy.” Jungkook scoffs, feeling the firsthand headache of dealing with the situation you are currently in. “I don’t know how much of a good daughter you are, but this is nuts. You are seriously chaining yourself to a relationship just out of pity, and because of someone else. You know that phrase ‘having only love is not enough in marriage’? You don’t even have that.”

Your eyebrows furrow, quite dejected that Jungkook really has to phrase it like that. The urge to defend yourself rushes unto you. “Yes, I know what we are doing now is silly, but I actually have no regret. Seokjin is a great guy, a good companion as well, and it’s basically just a living arrangement. I’m good.”

He sighs at your stubbornness. “You know, you could’ve been with someone else that you truly love. Did you realize that?”

“I won’t.” You answer almost instantly, doting the cheesecake in the middle of your table. “I’m not interested. I am living well on my own, and I don’t really think I have anyone for me. I am comfortable with myself.”

“And why’d you trade that precious solitude of yours with someone you don’t even love?” Jungkook challenges, and you take a deep breath to calm yourself.

“Because if that’s how I can make someone else happy, I would.” You answer, looking back at Jungkook’s prodding eyes. “My mother, my father, have taken care of problematic me since I was a little kid. And now all they wanted is for me to have someone that cares for me, and who I deeply care for. And if getting married is the only way they can live and die happily… I’d do anything.”

Jungkook is easily silenced at your unexpected outburst, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder after saying what you truly feel to someone else. It feels almost relieving, the fog living in your shoulder lightens.

“But you know they’d truly be disappointed if you are lying to them, right? Lying that you are happy. Lying that you love your husband.” He observes you in concern. You smile lopsidedly.

“Well, maybe in my case, a little white lie won’t hurt.” You whisper to yourself, sipping on your beverage.

*

After hanging out a bit longer with Jungkook, you found yourself comfortable being around him. He is a great guy, albeit annoying and too curious for his own good, he is nice and easy to talk to. You were never really close to him, and usually a rather closed person, but Jungkook is too good at getting you out of your shell. 

Walking out from his car, you are stunned when finding Seokjin is also getting out of his own, about to enter your apartment building. He mirrors your expression, a paper bag filled with foods and in his right grasp is his favorite donuts box. 

“Hi.” He greets with cocked eyebrows. “I bought meat to cook for dinner.”

“Ah, I already ate dinner.” You guiltily scratch your nape, glancing to the car beside you. Jungkook is just about to drop you off, but you have no idea why he is not leaving yet. “You went home from Yoongi’s?”

“Yes.” Seokjin points to the car. “Who is it? Did you meet with friends?”

“Yes. I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. But he’s just about to leave—”

“Hi man.” Jungkook is somehow already standing right beside you as you flinch in your spot, and he offers his hand. “I guess I never properly introduced myself. I’m Jungkook, Y/N’s workmate.”

“Ah, Jungkook. We met before, right? I am sorry, yesterday was quite chaotic, I haven’t properly introduced myself.” Jin smiles benevolently, shaking the younger man’s hand. “I’m Seokjin, the husband. Do you want to come in? I’m cooking steak for dinner.”

“Nah, I already had dinner with Y/N. But I’ll take you up on that, though. Let’s get dinner another time.” Jungkook agrees, and gives you a light tap in the back as a goodbye. “Got to go, but I’ll see you Monday!”

“Bye, Jungkook.” You reply meekly and turn back to Seokjin, staring back at you with a strange expression. “Are you good?”

“Yup.” Seokjin smiles impartially, shifting his expression. “Let’s get in, you’ll catch a cold.”

*

In a way, Seokjin realizes that something changes with you ever since coming back from his father’s birthday party. You were usually a chirpy, active person, unbothered to speak your mind, talking about Hoseok or your patronizing boss and made the apartment as loud as possible with your late night exercise—yet here you are, silently sitting down on your side of bed, watching your favorite series from phone. 

And you clearly stated how you hate watching with your phone that he knows you are avoiding him—not wanting him to join watching it with you in the living room. And what irks him is this passive aggressive thing has been going on since last week, and it’s already Thursday. He desperately needs the old you back.

“Why are you watching it on the phone?” Seokjin asks, a vague irritation slipped in his tone. “The TV is good to watch. And you hate watching it on the phone.”

You are confused to say the least, blinking your eyes at him. Your finger pauses the show. He remembers that? “Uh.. I’m just… feeling like laying in bed while watching. Is there something wrong?”

“No, don’t lie to yourself now. You are clearly avoiding me.” Seokjin hisses, unable to hide anymore of his annoyance. “And this has been going on for a week. You didn’t even let me know if you’re coming home, and rejected that one time I said I’ll get you from the office. What’s wrong?”

“I told you it’s nothing. My work is the opposite direction of your way to home. It’ll be easier to go home directly.” You reason stubbornly, trying to make sense—even if you know you really are avoiding him. You don’t want to let him know that you are hurt by the things he said, and to be frank, looking at him pissess you off a bit. Like right now.

“Y/N, you know that we are too old for this shit. You need to tell me right now if I did something wrong.” He states earnestly. You roll your eyes, not feeling to drag the conversation and position yourself back to watching.

“You did nothing wrong. It’s just me, maybe I’m going on menopause.”

Seokjin huffs, looking at you already settling back to watching—yet he is too determined to end all this bullshit that he discards the phone you’re watching onto the bed. You gape at him, dumbfounded that he really did that to get your serious attention. “Stop being a child and talk to me like adults.” He scowls.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! I told you It’s nothing.” You shout, trying to get your phone back yet missing due to Seokjin’s quick wit of taking and hanging it far above his head. And poor you, that are seriously no match to his height.

“Give me back my phone, you jerk!”

“Might be a jerk but at least I’m not a 30 years old woman having menopause.” He mocks your nonsense, yet you are too resentful to give a shit that you literally climb on bed and jump to leech your whole weight on him like a freaking koala. Seokjin literally yells at your attempt of getting stable by clutching on his hair, pulling it to whichever direction you prefer. “Ah, get off me! It hurts and you’re heavy!”

“I don’t care! You’re being a jerk, and I’m a misery anyway, right? I’m just fulfilling my duties!” You howl, shaking your body that he shrieks, losing his balance and falls on your large bed. And like how most sleazy cringy telenovela, he just had to settle on top of you, but for one teeny different, his whole weight is now crushing your being like a sweet revenge. 

“Get off me! You’re heavy.” You screech like a petulant child, punching the guy on his broad ass shoulder. After a whole minute of finally begging him to get off, Seokjin finally gets on his elbow, giving a bit of space for you to breathe.

“I apologize that I upset you.” He gazes at you in all sincerity that literally leaves you holding your breath. “It was not true when I said that misery thing. You are not a misery. You are a blessing. The fact that we are married could be the greatest thing that happens to me, and I’ll never trade it for anything else.”

You are silenced, waiting for him to continue. “I was just pissed off with myself that I was insensitive about how everyone is pressuring you, and you are struggling because of this. I actually never thought about those snarks, and I thought you would too.” Seokjin softly claims, and you are near to tears that he literally speaks like honey. “I just thought it was off limits. I guess we should’ve talked more about this before.”

You sigh, looking down. “I do think so. And I’m sorry too—I guess I should’ve just said what’s bothering my mind.” You breathe out with a hint of guilt. “I’m sorry for acting like this. I guess that misery thing just got to me more than I thought it would, and.. yeah. Let’s communicate better.”

“We should.” He hums in delight. “You are cuter when you are less grumpy. You know that?”

“I am cute in any way possible.” You sassily reply, expecting a snarky comment as retaliation yet Seokjin’s lips curl in amusement.

“Well, I can’t comment on that.” He beams, and at that  your heart literally skips a beat. or two. or more than you can count. “I want to watch what you’re watching. Let’s watch it on the TV, your eyes must be hurting doing all these grumpy behavior.”

“Yeah, I do think so. It’s like.. exhausting.” You rub your temple. “I hate being crabby.”

“Yes. It doesn’t suit you. At all.” Seokjin pulls both your cheeks in different directions with sparkling eyes. You groan. “So don’t do that to your husband, okay?”

At that, you peer at him silently while he’s searching the series you love on the TV. The way he is able to easily soothe you is.. pissing you off.

“By the way, a new movie is premiering next week and I bought us a ticket. Wanna watch it with me?” He turns to you, still with the same adorable smile. And it literally sucks that something weakens inside you at that smile.

Ugh, there’s gotta be something wrong with you.

*

Another week goes and there you are, Thursday night about to head out after a whole day of work. Tidying your desk, suddenly a voice stops your wandering mind—it belongs to your desk mate.

“Why are you so happy today? You’re all whistling and it starts creeping me out.” Hoseok snickers, suddenly peering close to you. “Did you get a good dick down yesterday?”

“What the hell, Hoseok?” You groan, closing your laptop with a loud thump. “It’s not it. Can’t a girl just be happy without any reason?”

“No. That means you're crazy. And it’s coming from Y/N, the grumpies person on the planet.” Jane titters, joining your conversation. You started to doubt what kind of connection they had whenever it concerns you. “You must had a good sex yesterday. You know, I am curious on how Seokjin is in bed. Is he a bit dom? Looks a bit kinky, I have to say.”

“Of course! The way he acts is a complete giveaway, he must have a choking kink, or maybe bondage. Daddy kink is absolutely, by default.” Hoseok responds with curiosity. Jane snickers as you are busy gasping for air.

“And his dick?! You know, the first time I saw him, I immediately knew this guy has a big dick energy. I bet his is girthy—”

“Shut up!” You literally stop her from speaking, your palm secured to close on her mouth—yet unable to manage the blush weeping your whole face to neck. You feel hot and bothered. “Stop talking about such things! I am just in a good mood. Ugh, you two are seriously perverts.”

“Yes, okay, we’ll stop before you burst your flaming ear.” Hoseok singsongs, utterly amused by your reaction. You shot him a look. “By the way, tomorrow is a long weekend. Do you both have any plans?”

“Besides taking care of my child? Nah, bro. Might have sex if he’s lucky and stop running his mouth too much. And we had to stay in my husband’s family house. Ugh.” Jane rolls her eyes whilst taking her own belongings. “I’m just happy we get to have dinner tonight. Tomorrow is going to be exhausting as fuck.”

“Dinner? What dinner?” You are weirded out, most absolutely did not expect to promise any dinner. 

“My birthday dinner, of course!”

You whip your head towards the guy in a fancy red suit, completely looking dashing and silly at the same time. Well, that’s what you expect of him anyway, wearing such eye catching outfit in the middle of workday. “I sent the invites this Monday, and you said yes, Y/N.” He continues. “And you didn’t even congratulate me! How mean. But I’ll let you off since you’re cute.”

“But—but, I can’t! I have something else to do..” You stutter. Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at you.

“What? Watching netflix and eating popcorn? Nah, bro. You’re coming.”

“But, I’m serious! I’m sorry, but Seokjin is already downstairs, and he’s waiting for me. I can’t.. just leave him behind.” You weren’t going to say this, but Seokjin said he was craving lobster and asked you to go on a dinner with him. You really didn’t remember you had agreed to an appointment before with your workmate.

Jungkook stares at you in mild surprise. “He’s in the lobby? What happened with the two of you? I thought—”

“What are you saying, Jungkook? Isn’t it normal for a husband to get her wife from work?” Hoseok chuckles, and at once Jungkook is like awakened from his hallucination. 

“Yes, of course. My bad.” He nervously chuckles, avoiding Hoseok’s eyes. “But he should come! It’s only going to be the four of us, and Namjoon. He’s waiting in the lobby too.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a great idea…”

“Seokjin should come! It would be fun, you know. I want to have dinner with him.” Jane smirks, and you sigh loudly, knowing that this would end in a huge disaster and you’ll end up regretting. Yet you find yourself thinking of what to say to Seokjin. 

“Hi, Seokjin!”

Seokjin opens his window, smiling courtesy at Jane standing beside you. You remember Seokjin met few of your friends from work before. “Hi, Jane! Nice seeing you again. Are you heading home?”

“Not really. We are going to a restaurant! With Y/N too. You should come.”

He laughs, glancing at you. “Really? You didn’t say you had something to do.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” You frown in guilt. “It’s okay, I know we had plans—”

“No, I didn’t say that. We can come to the dinner with your friends too, if you want.” Seokjin chuckles, smiling dearly at you. You feel your breath hasten under his ministry. “Do you want that?”

Clearing your throat, you answer in nerves. “Yes, please. I promised to attend before, I guess I just forgot and thought I am free tonight.”

“Ah, I guess that’s why you’re all sooo chirpy today, aren’t you, Y/N?! I thought your teeth were about to fall off.” Jane beams, exhilarated as she elbows you. “Turns out you have a special occasion with your husband and forgot Jungkook’s birthday dinner.”

“That’s not it.” You glare at her, but she shrugs meaningfully.

“Okay, you two should head out. I’m with Hoseok.” Jane smiles and points at the blue car which you identify as Hoseok’s. “See you guys in a few minutes!”

“Sure.”

There is only silence in the car, when suddenly Seokjin breaks it with a question.

“Is it for Jungkook? That Jungkook—your friend that we met on our apartment?”

You don’t know what’s wrong, but your gut is telling you something is strange with his tone. You clear your throat of sheer awkwardness. “Yes. Today is his birthday, so he said he’d treat us to dinner.”

Seokjin seems uncomfortable. Living together for nearly two years has made you well aware of his small habit and gestures—by the way he clings on his collar, fingers tightening on the wheel as if he’s scared just shows you how he truly feels. At once, you quickly rests your palm on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “Are you okay? You look.. nervous. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Waiting for the red light, he heaves a deep breath and closes his eyes. His right hand settles on your hands which were on his shoulder, linking each finger. “I’m fine.” Seokjin sighs deeply, resting both your linked fingers on his thigh. 

“I’m fine.” He repeats.

Now all you can hear is your own irregular heartbeat, with his warm palms against yours. 

And you wonder. What the hell is wrong with yourself?

After arriving, Seokjin still doesn’t let your hand go. And it’s all kinds of confusing, two years of marriage he never acts like now. Not even when going to your parents house, and it leaves you with numerous questions. And with that particular look on his face—it scares the shit out of you.

“Ah, here comes the couple!” Jane giggles, pointing to the empty seats beside her. “You can sit here. Seokjin, meet Namjoon! He’s in Legal.”

Like that, all your friends are engaged in a conversation—while Seokjin, he’s sitting silently with heads hanging low. You glance at him, concerned. “Hey, are you okay? You look a bit off. Do you want me to get you anything?”

“Yes, your husband looks like he’s not really good. Is there anything wrong?” It is Jungkook, resting his wine back on the table. All of the eyes are now on the both of you. “Does this not work for you?”

“No, I’m sorry. Just a bit on the edge, that’s why. Don’t worry.” Seokjin smiles thinly, tapping his palm on the table. You nod hesitantly, regardless of the strangely tense air with him.

Whilst ordering, you are skimming on the menu when Jungkook jumps in. “Y/N, you like the shrimp here, right? You should order it.”

“Yes, I am thinking that too.” You tap your chin, and turn to Seokjin who is still staring far at the menu. “But I want to try the duck too. Seokjin, can’t you order that too? I don’t want to eat too much, I just want to have a bite.”

Seokjin is about to answer when Jungkook jovially interrupts, “Hey, there’s no need for that. You can order all you want. But if you insist, I’m ordering the duck, so you can have mine.”

“It’s okay, I’m having what my wife asked me to. Since I’m her husband. ” Seokjin curtly responds, and you are flabbergasted at how discourteous he sounded. The conversations on the table ended abruptly. 

“I—I see. Suit.. yourself.” Jungkook blinks his eyes, completely bewildered at the hostile response. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be forward.”

You stare at him with multiple emotions rushing inside of you, yet he’s evidently trying to avoid it while shoving drinks down his throat like there’s no tomorrow. 

“You’re driving tonight.” Seokjin mutters to you between drinks, and it sounds more like an order to your ear. There’s definitely something off with him, and you’re terrified of finding out. You’re scared if it will change him, you, and what you both had together.

*

“Are you going to be okay?”

Jungkook glances in concern at your drunk husband beside you, his hand is at the top of your car while you’re on the driver side. “He’s drunk. You sure you’re going to be okay? I can come with you.”

“No, it’s fine.” You reply. “I think he’s just not in a mood today. There must be something at work, I’ll try asking this tomorrow.”

“But I don’t like how jealous he was at me. I was just.. trying to be kind and offer to help. As a friend. And he immediately snaps like that.” Jungkook scowls in irritation. “It was borderline obsessive. And it’s not like you married for love—”

“Jungkook.” You stop him with reprimanding eyes that he stops immediately. 

“I’m sorry.” He lets out a deep breath. “I never told you—or anyone about this, but my sister is a divorcee. Because her husband became obsessed with her.” You know where he is heading and are about to rebut, yet he continues. “I know what you want to say, but I’m just saying this so you’d know. They were in love. But you know it could easily turn to something else.”

“Thank you for your advice, but I know it won’t happen to me—Seokjin is not like that.” You mumble, somehow reminding yourself. It’s the first time Seokjin is like this, both of you were great at keeping boundaries, and were not even in love. You’ll be fine.

Jungkook sighs and smiles weakly, brushing the top of your head. 

“I hope so too. Get home safe, kid.”

*

Waking up, the first thing Seokjin feels is his pulsate, a straight pang to his head. It’s been a long time since he had let himself off the limit and trashed himself until he blacked out, and he regrets every single second. The hazy memory starts to invade his mind—about how rude he had been yesterday, especially to you—and it literally freaks him out that he jumps out of his bed, desperate to explain. But you are not sleeping beside him. Or anywhere in the apartment. 

“Fuck.” Seokjin hisses, bringing his phone and runs to the elevator in such hurries. 

Are you... possibly gone?

“Seokjin, what are you doing here?”

“Y/N. Where have you been?” He questions, a little bit loud.  He’s too caught tapping the elevator button that he doesn’t realize the other lift is opened with you walking out, soaking with sweat. “I wake up and you’re not there. You.. I thought you..”

“What did you think? I was just running a few laps since yesterday’s dinner was a bit much.” You shrug nonchalantly, taking off your earphone. “Aren’t you dizzy after waking up? You shouldn’t be out, though.”

Walking back to your apartment, Seokjin is trailing behind you like a disgruntled puppy—keeping his head down low as both his hands are clasped. “I’m very very sorry, Y/N..”

“What are you sorry for?” You ask, pretending nonchalance. Seokjin sits beside you with a frown on his face. 

“I was being a jerk yesterday? And I drank too much and you must have a hard time dealing with my sorry ass.” 

“Did anything happen? Can I know why you were so pissed off?” You ask carefully, afraid of invading his space. He shrugs.

“Something bothered my mind, that's all. Don’t worry about it.”

Seeing how sullen he has been with himself, you are unable to pull both his chubby cheeks to different directions. He groans loudly with each pull. “Yes, you were such a ill-tempered baby yesterday when you were drunk. Do you know that?”

He nods begrudgingly. “Yes, mother. I won’t do it again.”

“But apologizing isn’t going to solve anything. You know it.” You pretend sulk. “I think I deserve three wishes.”

Seokjin cocks his eyebrows. “Why? Why does it have to be three?” 

“Nah, I watched Alladin and it was good, so I was just copying—but that’s not the point!” You tap the table impatiently. “The point is that you embarrassed me in front of my friend and deserves a punishment. Now say yes to my three wishes.”

Your husband groans, tapping on his forehead. “God, I’m never drinking again. What? What is it that you want?”

“I haven’t really thought about it, actually..” You giggle while scratching your head. Seokjin squint his eyes at you in suspicion. “Can you give me a week to think about it?”

“No.”

“Five days?”

“Right now. Take it or leave it.”

“Okay, by tomorrow!”

“Three wishes all by the end of this day.”

“Fine! You are annoying.” You scowl, tapping your forefinger on your chin. Seokjin grins. “First, I want…lobster for lunch.” 

“Okay.” He holds the laughter upon remembering his yesterday’s request.

“And I want this new bag. I saw it on the newest catalogue yesterday, I want one. Buy it for me.” You send him a sugary smile.

“I see your wishes are getting more and more disproportionate.” 

You scoff. “But you promised to grant it!”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to grant it.” Seokjin rolls his eyes, resting his palm on your shoulder, skimming it until his finger hangs to yours. Your breath hitches at how it practically tickles your whole being. “Is that all? Are you saving one for now?”

“Y-yes.” You stutter, mind already turning blank that you forgot your last wish.

“Good.” Seokjin beams, swiping his thumb on your knuckles. You stare through his eyes, adoring the beautiful twinkle that sends butterflies knocking on your stomach. How could he affect you like this?

W-wait, are you hallucinating or he is really closing in right now? I-is he.. about to kiss you?

Against your expectation, he suddenly halts and snorts. “Now go take a bath, because you stink.”

You push him away, walking to enter your bathroom with a face that has gone vermillion red—especially listening to his annoying squeaky laughter from the living room. You feel terribly embarrassed. 

Did you really think he’s about to kiss you? And why the fuck do you have to act like a preteen girl having a crush on a classmate? This is literally super annoying how your body is acting strange—like you don’t even have control.

Ugh, you should never done anything dangerous with him again.

*

After having lunch in the lobster place, you and Seokjin drive to the cinema for the movie he pre-ordered last week. Sitting side by side with him, you find yourself hesitating. 

You want to hold his hand so damn much.

And this never happened to you before. Watching with him always ends up with both of you pretending to fight for the popcorn, and you’ll be far apart from each other—just like you’re watching alone. The movie’s genre is thriller and suspense, yet horror didn’t even take it for you to finally lean into him or anyone, yet that evening, you want to hold him. 

Closing in, you feel his shoulder closing on yours, leaning onto him as support. Seokjin looks at you in concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Y-yes! I’m fine, I just—“

“Is this movie boring for you? Or are you cold? You want more popcorn or drink?” He queries in concern at your jumpiness.

“No.” You murmur, embarrassed at your own thought. Fuck, what were you thinking? There is no possible reason at all on why you want to hold him, it’s not making any sense and it irks you on how conflicted you’re feeling. “I just… nothing.”

Glancing at you, Seokjin sees how you’re mouthing to yourself and hitting your own forehead with a deep frown—and he couldn’t bite his smile back. With one fluid motion, he loops his arms with yours and withers your small palm against his, tapping slightly the side of his head with yours. 

“Let me know if you need anything else. Hmm?”

You blush hard, the creep of warmth running in your cheek like a wildfire. Clearing your throat, you decide to focus on whatever scene it is, not realizing how Seokjin glances at you from time to time, a toothy smile creeping in his face.

Walking out of the place, you were a bit panicked on seeing Seokjin again in broad light, but he’s still not letting go of your hands around his. You don’t know whether it’s a good sign or not—maybe you’re just afraid of finding out.

“Do you want to go window shopping? Maybe you’ll find that bag you want.” Seokjin offers, you are about to discard him—telling who the hell is still window shopping these days, or your desired bag is already on your online shopping cart, yet you don’t want to say so.

Maybe you just want to be with him a little bit longer.

Walking hand in hand to around the mall, both of you stop at the high end brand stores. Seokjin is about to walk in when you stop him. “Why are we entering this place? This is out of our budget.”

“Who said I want to buy you the bag from here? I want to see it for myself.” Seokjin lightly jokes, blowing raspberries and you scowl. Contrary to what he just said, Seokjin is directing you to the female side, where the tote bags are stacked. You laugh silently. Is he trying to be a tsundere now?

He looks at you and warmly smile. “See if there’s anything you like. I’m going to the restroom first, okay?”

You squint your eyes at him in fake suspicion. “You’re not leaving me here and fleeing home, right?”

“Busted.” He giggles and you grin. “Wait here, I’ll come back in a minute.”

After Seokjin leaves, you find yourself walking to see the bags in hesitance. Yet you know how expensive they are, and it even scares you to fall in love with a bag and realizing how struggling Seokjin has to be to buy it for you. The thought immediately retrains you from taking the tawny colored bag which catches your eyes the most.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

You look back at the voice calling your name, and finding the person that hasn't even crossed your mind to be there. It’s Park Jimin, with his trademark eye smile peering curiously at you. “It is you! How have you been?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” You smile at him, a little bit surprised to see him here, even talking to you. Well, maybe the years of your troubling childhood does have its own reminder in the form of this man. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“Ah, yes. After moving from Busan to Seoul, I am just living my life, I guess. Got engaged a few years ago, my fiancé and I moved to Sydney for school, and I headed back for the time being for her.” He smiles jovially, letting you know things more than you expect him to. You nod with a hint of hesitation—a bit surprised that he’s still practically the same him from your childhood. Guess nothing really changes to a spoilt kid from birth. 

“Honey, I have five items already on the cashier, won’t you—who is this?”

The woman is peering closely at you, the evident staring feels deadly uncomfortable on your skin. You know that look—she is judging you from top to bottom, whether you qualify as someone she should feel competitive with. But you don’t really want to spoil your great mood from the morning and reply nonetheless. “I’m Y/N, an old friend of Jimin. Nice to meet you.”

“Hi.” She responds rudely, and turns to Jimin. “Aren’t we going after paying?”

“Wait, I still want to talk with her. You can use this.” Jimin opens up his wallet, giving her a card and she leaves almost immediately. “I’m sorry, she can be like that sometimes.”

You shrug nonetheless. “I can see that.”

Ignoring your obvious sarcasm, Jimin continues. “So, where are you going? Do you want to have dinner with us? We should meet up again sometimes, you know—“

“Y/N.”

Turning to the man calling your name, it turns out to be your husband, staring at the both of you with jaw ticked and cold stare. And Jimin is no different, completely startled with the fact that it is Seokjin calling your name. At once, you feel estranged with the tense in the air.

“Seokjin. Hi, this is Jimin, my old friend. Jimin, this is Seokjin, my husband.”

Seokjin is the one to answer, tone blunt. “I know.”

After long pregnant silence, Jimin clears his throat, and gives your husband a thin smile. “Hi Seokjin. Nice to see you again.”

“You two know each other?” You glance at both men with curiosity written in your face.

“Yes, Jimin was my junior in college. We were friends.” Seokjin answers with venom, and nobody can miss the way he pronounced the past tense. Jimin seems uncomfortable as well, trying to ignore the older guy and smiles at you.

“I didn’t know you’re married. When was the wedding? Why wasn’t I invited?” He laughs to discard the tense air, yet you can still sense the awkwardness coloring his tone.

“Ah, around two years ago, I think. My mother gave yours the invitation, but I guess it doesn’t work. It’s fine.” You shrug, keeping your courtesy no matter how much you want to shout what the fuck is going on with those two men.

“I am sorry, but I’ll send a gift your way. It’s very impolite of us.” Jimin offers kindly, but Seokjin cuts straight away.

“We don’t need it. Save your money to whom it belongs.”

You glare at Seokjin who is throwing his sight somewhere else. He never was impolite like this, and it stresses you out—the fact that you’re kept in the dark makes you feel like you’re basically second to nothing between the two of them. 

“Seokjin? Is that you?”

Jimin’s fiancé comes back with countless bags in her hand, and you can hear the loud enough snicker from Seokjin. “Ah, as expected.”

The girl looks surprised, to say the least. “What are you doing here? With her? Who is this girl?” 

At the condescending tone, you immediately turn defensive. She had no reason to talk to you and Seokjin like that. “Excuse me?” 

“Baby, don’t be like that. Y/N here is Seokjin’s wife.” Jimin murmurs softly to his fiancé, and the bitch still has the nerves to scoff with a sleazy smirk.

“Ah, finally. I am glad you finally got your shit together, stopped thinking about me and moved on.” She loops her hand around Jimin, rising her chin high. Your jaws are a second away from falling to the ground. What the hell is going on?! “And are you sure you can go here? Isn’t this too expensive for you?”

“What the fuck—”

You are ready to throw hands, but Jimin quickly pulls her away and so is Seokjin’s hands clasped on yours to hold you back. 

“Stop it. Let’s just go home.”

Hanging his head low, both of you walk to the parking lot in deafening silence. Seokjin’s face is now cloudy and dark, nose and eyes are turned red and you know he is this close to crying. You chest stings at how much in pain he seems. You have so many questions, yet you know he needs more time to figure out his own.

Trying to reach the car keys from his pocket, he can’t seem to find it and somehow ends up choking his own tears. Feeling terrible on how he must feel, you go to his side, helping him check his other pocket. “I’ll drive.” You softly say to him after, and he silently goes to the passenger side.

Night comes, and you stare at your bedroom door. Seokjin has been holed up inside the room after you both went home, and did not come out even for a drink. You knew he needed space, and you stayed in the living room to watch your series, but it’s been too long that you are on alert since this has never quite happened before.

You wake up from your seat, walking to the kitchen as you are about to prepare dinner. Mushing up your doubtful cooking skill, you cook a chicken pasta and union ring, even called his favorite donuts on delivery.

After all the food is ready, you knock on the door. “Seokjin, dinner is ready. Come out, will you?”

“I am not really hungry.” He answers softly, and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t kid me, we both know you are never not hungry.” Your joke is met with no response. “Are you really going to be like this? Come out and let’s have dinner. I already cooked for us.”

A moment of silence. “Are you sure it’s edible?”

You scowl, albeit kind of relieved that his sarcasm is still in place. “It’s not, but I’m still going to shove it down your throat until you’re begging me to stop.”

Seokjin ends up coming out, and you immediately frown at him. His face is disheveled, eyes bloodshot red, trail of tears on both his cheek and his hair is all over the place. 

“Hey, you look ugly.”

He scoffs. “Thank you for the encouragement.”

“I am serious! You look uglier than that time we went to Bali and you shit yourself because of eating too much spices.” You giggle, and Seokjin hisses. Your way of consoling people is indeed very debatable. 

“I remembered Bali. Such a great time.” Regardless, Seokjin smiles fondly at the memory. It was for your honeymoon slash not really a honeymoon, since all you did was to spend your work’s wedding free leave. You and Seokjin registered for Bali’s backpacker packet where both of you were able to explore the true nature and culture of Bali, instead of staying in a five star hotel and fucking till dawn like most honeymoon. It was breathtaking, to say the least.

After settling on the dining table, you scoop a portion and hand it to him. “Eat. I also ordered your favorite donuts, it will be here in a few minutes.”

Seokjin gives you a thankful smile, acknowledging your effort to make him feel better. 

After a whole half an hour of eating in silence, you open a conversation. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He looks to you, and lower his sight back to his plate. “This is good.”

You sigh, folding your hands on the table. Seokjin might feel uncomfortable and you understand he needs time, but you also know that he needs to share it with someone else, or the feeling will drown him instead. “You know, there is no good keeping it inside.” You breath out. “I want to know what happened with you.”

A few minutes of silence. “How do you know Jimin?” He asks instead.

“He was my childhood friend in Busan, before his father hit it big and they moved to Seoul. We used to play together. He was a classmate, and my only friend at that time.”

Seokjin cocks his eyebrow. “Only that? Why does it seem like it’s not just friends? Like he really is glad to see you.” 

You shrug. “Yeah, it was.. kind of weird. You know how kids were. We were really close, and I kind of confessed… that I liked him before he went away.”

A particular hit on the plate causes you to flinch, a deep frown on Seokjin’s supple lips. “But it was in the past, right?” He confirms with no hint of playing, and you feel something settle strangely in your chest. 

Is it possible that he is jealous?

You chase the thoughts away and curtly reply. “Of course. I was 10 for god’s sake, I didn’t even really like him.” 

“I don’t even know why you like the guy. Was Busan really lacking in handsome boys?” Seokjin grumbles, munching soundly on the onion ring. “You should have seen me when I was a kid, I bet you’ll like me instead. I've been handsome since I was even a baby.”

“I’ve seen your schoolbook photo, but I’ll just go with whatever you say.” You giggle on his nonsense—even though he’s clearly not lying. He’s probably the most handsome person you’ve laid your eyes upon, that it was quite surprising he didn’t decide to fuckboy himself and settle down with you instead. 

Ten minutes pass in silence before you continue. “Can I say my last wish?” You ask carefully. Seokjin nods, a bit uncertain.

“Tell me what happened? With Jimin. And his fiancé too.” You hum, fidgeting with your fingers. “I just wanted to know, but it is okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

Seokjin sighs, rests his utensils and drinks the water before continuing. “It’s just.. hard. His wife, Dakyung was actually my girlfriend for a long time. We’ve been together since high school. At that time, she wasn’t really well off—his parents are struggling financially, but I was more than glad to support her getting the money to support her family.”

“We were together for like eleven years, I guess? I loved her very much, we’ve been through nearly everything and stood strong. I didn’t want to be with anyone else. I only wanted her. Being with anyone else never crossed my mind.” He softly explains, yet you don’t know why you feel yourself constricting with every word. It’s hurting you to see how pained he was, the beautifully carved words meant for someone else. “So around four years ago, I think? I bought an engagement ring for her. I was going to propose—but I guess you know the rest.”

“Did she.. cheat on you?” You ask carefully. Seokjin stares at you and nods, sadness written all over his face.

“I just found out when I was going to surprise her in her apartment. She… was in bed with.. Jimin.”

“What?!” You shouts in disbelief. “Jimin, your college friend fucked your girlfriend of eleven years?”

“Yes, and I don’t know what happened too, but at that time what I remembered was Jimin pleading for her to break up with me, and she said yes, asking for him to wait for the right time. But who am I kidding? It was a good choice at her part. Jimin is crazy rich, handsome and good too. Anything a girl wants, right?”

“Hey, don’t be like that.” You mutter, resting your palm over his as a consolation. “Money is not everything, and she’s trading that for eleven years of happiness with you. It’s her loss.”

“Maybe it’s not, Y/N. At that time, I realized that maybe it was indeed my fault. I, like a fucking fool, still wanted to be better for her. Even after I knew she was cheating on me, I tried holding on to her, so the next day I asked her to meet me and still proposed. I would do anything to make her happy. And as expected, she rejected me.”

“Seokjin…” You whisper, a tear welling on the corner of your eyes on how broken he must have felt.

“She immediately eloped with Jimin, and both moved to Sydney for school. But I guess in a way, I’ve never moved on. I was always trying to contact her, sending her emails or messages until she had enough and blocked me. I was depressed. The one that I loved for eleven years, left me just like that.”

Seokjin stares at you, meaningfully. And you’re about to hear something that breaks your whole being. 

“And then, I just knew I’d never love again.”

*

You don’t know what happened with you—and Seokjin, but in a way you’ve been distancing yourself from him, and the gesture is mutual. Seokjin never came home early, and not that you ask him anymore. He always came home whenever you were already asleep, and when you wake up, he’d be gone. Even with the current withdrawal, you still find breakfast on the table, courtesy of him. Yet you’d rather he not.

I just knew I’d never love again.

It hurts. It hurts like hell when he really said that he’ll never love again. In a way, you know you’ve been feeling something for your husband—that you crave for his attention and care, and to know that he might never reciprocate the way you want him to. Hurts like a bitch.

But it’s all on you. It is clear as crystal that love is not even the foundation of your marriage, so if anything happens to your foolish heart, it’s all on you. You shouldn’t have taken this lightly. You should’ve known that you are weak at heart, and you’ll fall for him anyway. 

Because he is the greatest guy you have ever met.

The compassion, kindness and caring that he has, it’s beyond comprehension. You don’t know how someone can be so understanding like he is, the way he takes care of you and wants nothing in return, that sincerely wants the best for you—even without love—succeeds in making you fall head over heels for him. 

God, you really are a fool.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You look to your left, seeing Hoseok scrutinizing at you in worry, now Jane is already beside him. “You’ve been whimpering since morning, and now you’re crying. Is there anything wrong?”

“Nothing, I am sorry for disturbing you all.” You swipe your tear stained cheeks, standing from your seat. “I’m getting some air, okay? I’ll see you guys later.”

Half-running, you enter the elevator and swiftly exit the building, trying to breathe as clear as you could—no matter how it might hurt you. God, you hate being vulnerable. You hate being weak. You hate being in love—an unrequited one, at that. Why can’t you just put your heart together? Why do you have to like him now, after two years of not caring whether he even fucked someone else behind your back? 

A whisper in your mind tells you that probably, these two years have been too great with him. Maybe, because he never gave you space for doubt. Maybe, you are already dependent on him without you knowing. Maybe, you take your feelings for granted.

“Y/N, are you okay? Why are you crying?” Someone stares at you in shock, and turns out it is Jungkook. His arm is around your shoulder. “I just finished a meeting and wanted to get  coffee and found you here instead. Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Is it weird that I felt sad because I finally—finally have feelings for my husband? Like… this supposed to happen before marriage, right?”

“Oh, Y/N..” Jungkook sighs. “What happened?”

And like that, you fill him in on what happened between you and Seokjin, and it leaves him furrowing his eyebrows. “So.. you telling me that you think Seokjin still couldn’t forget his ex?”

You process his sentence for a while, and reply with a hesitant nod. Jungkook exhales loudly. “That’s not it, Y/N. I don’t think he’s still in love with his ex, he is... just scared. He is scared of the pain of his past, and he is scared of opening up to someone. Just like you. And with the way you are acting right now, it’s not fixing anything you both are feeling right now.”

“But he said he’ll never love again..”

“I couldn’t believe you even believe that bullshit.” Jungkook frowns. “That girl betrayed him. She gave him literally a thousand reasons to move on. He just needs time to adjust, and a couple of facts slapped to his face. He’ll come around.”

“Do… do you think I should.. talk to him about this?” 

“No. You can just shut up and hope he can read your mind.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, heavily sarcastic. “Talk to him, Y/N. You trust him, right?”

“I do.” You whisper to yourself, strangely motivated. “I do trust him.”

*

Well, it turns out trust is not a really firm base for confronting your own husband to the mess you made. After you called Seokjin to pick you up after work to get dinner together, he was visibly surprised at your request since you’re usually not the type to begin conversation after a fight—you never even asked to be picked up before. You yourself don’t even know whether it would be a good idea, but Seokjin’s easy agreement does make it better.

When you enter the car, he is the first to greet with a warm smile, and it reminds you that you haven’t seen it for so long now—you might even miss it. “Hey.” 

“Hi, Seokjin.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “Thank you for picking me up. I’m just.. feeling a bit out of it to take the train. I hope it’s okay.”

“Of course it is. I told you a million times I’ll pick you up if you can, you’re the one who rejected me.” He giggles lightly, glancing at you. “Thank you too.”

“For what?”

“For reaching out? I know past week we’ve been.. kinda avoiding each other. I didn’t know how to.. start since I was the problem in the first place.” He scratches his nape in shame. “I am very sorry, by the way. It was very immature of me.”

“No, it’s not. I totally understand.” You respond quickly. “And I didn’t know what happened, I have no rights to judge. It was your pain, and I am just glad you want to share it with me.”

Unexpectedly, Seokjin chuckles. “Why are you so sweet today.” 

“Let me know if you want my sass back, I’ll gladly serve it to you.” You retaliate, even your inside are churning with nerves.

“You know I accepted you for who you are—you can be anything you want.” Seokjin brushes the top of your head with a toothy grin that leaves you a breathy mess. 

“You are so cheesy today.” You respond briskly, noticing that you have arrived at the designated restaurant. Seokjin parks the car swiftly, and when there’s only silence inside, he turns on the lights on top of him.

“I have something for you.”

“What?”

“Look at the backseat.”

You glance at the backseat, finding an oak brown bag that somehow feels familiar. You quickly pick it up and open it. Turns out it is the exact beautiful brown bag that has catched your eyes from your previous window shopping session—before Jimin comes into the picture. You squeal in delight. “What is this?! Are you seriously giving this to me?”

“No, I’m giving it to Grandma Lee, our neighbor. Who else?” He smirks and you smack him lightly on the shoulder before adoring your bag once more.

“This is very pretty, though. How could you know which one I liked?”

“Well, let’s just say I know you better than you think? I practically know what you liked. This one greatly matches your outfits too. You know I have a great fashion sense.” He winks.

“I’ll let your last sentence pass because I’m very touched right now. Thank you, Seokjin.” You beam in joy, adoring the bag.

Seokjin nods, and when you rest the bag carefully on the backseat, he suddenly pulls you close for a hug—his arms around your waist, your chin settles on his shoulder. His spontaneity literally leaves you breathless, the heat is blooming around your cheek at the close proximity. God, you wish he couldn’t hear your drumming heartbeat.

“Thank you for being such a great friend and partner. I’m so thankful we are married, you know?”

You grimace in pain. God, the sound of your heart breaking is really audible in your ear. Oh, how you wish he had known.

*

And in the end, you are the loser in this game you played with yourself, because you most absolutely didn’t say a thing, yet you’re enjoying every second of being in love by yourself, making up scenarios and wondering if he feels the way you do.

It is ridiculous how greatly it has been played—considering how caring he usually is, yet it’s not even rare for him to say that you’re different in a way. He never explained in detail, but even you know what’s different. You started calling him frequently between work, asking when he’ll be home, his opinion on little things, or if he wanted to eat anything. It’s the small things that you’re hoping he’ll catch, yet it seems like something trivial for him and it lowkey upsets you.

One evening, you’re already waiting for him in the apartment, determined to finally tell him about what you feel—that you love him and hope he feels the same way. Jungkook was right—you can’t lounge around waiting for him. There’s no shame in starting first, especially when knowing it’s him you’re falling in love with.

Yet the clock strikes nine, he has not arrived yet. The food you prepared since six has already turned cold, and you start to feel wary, glancing nervously at the door—since he said he’ll be home around eight and is already late by an hour. You already tried calling him, but it is met with no response. His phone is on and well, yet he’s not replying. So you wait while watching the news.

Car crash. A man. Blue toyota. On the road of his way back home. You immediately reach for your phone, calling his number in panic.

Could it be?

*

It’s already midnight when Seokjin opens his apartment door, expecting darkness—but instead he finds you sleeping on the couch, phone clutched on your chest. He closes in, a thin smile formed on his lips as his fingers soothes the creases of your crouching eyebrows, but it somehow sends you flinching on your spot. You are now wide awake.

“Seokjin, when are you home?” You demand, as his pupils dilate of confusion. 

“I just arrived. Sorry, I was—”

“I thought you died, you moron!” You shouts immediately. “Car crash news was on, man driving a blue toyota. I was so scared it was you that I even called the police, yet they said the victim is still in the hospital, I couldn’t know the identity. I was so scared...” You don’t even know why you’re tearing up right now—but the emotion is overwhelming, you must be talking nonsense.

Seokjin blinks, confused. “I’m sorry, I left my phone on mute. I forgot to let you know...”

You don’t even want to hear the rest, as you quickly storm off to your bed and force yourself to sleep, muffling your cries. The feeling you had for the last few hours, the horror of thinking Seokjin might be laid in blood on the street is something you’d rather not experience now or ever. 

In a few minutes, you feel the bed dips beside you. Seokjin is there. 

“Are you still awake?” He softly asks, but you decide to ignore him and closes your eyes.

“I am very sorry. I didn’t know… this would happen. But I should’ve let you know.”

You clearly know what he refers to. You usually don’t give a shit if he’d even come in dawn, but now you’re crying and throwing a fit when it’s not even something to fuss about. It’s only you and your overreacting fear.

“Get some sleep, we’ll talk in the morning, okay?” He whispers as he tucked the blanket closer to you, stroking the top of your head carefully. 

*

The next morning, you wake up to the delicious smell of baked cheese. Unable to hold your scoff, you decided to stay a little bit on bed just to pisses him off. Frankly, you are still slightly vengeful for last night, with this urge to let him know your annoyance has not worn off.

So when he walks in and softly taps your shoulder, you are silent. “Hey. It’s already seven, you need to take a shower and come eat breakfast, hmm?” He persuades, but you turn your back to him, and Seokjin huffs at your petty acts, yet the guilt is still seeping in his chest. 

Seokjin sighs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t let you know work is unexpectedly late. I don’t want to make excuses, as I know it’s all my fault. I won’t do it again.”

At the sincerity in his tone, your anger quickly washes off, but still you’re doubtful on how to answer his apology. Should you just say yes? Or should you pretend anger?

“Hey, look at me.” Seokjin impatiently pulls you to face him, both his palms are on the sides of you. His eyes bore into yours, and you instantly turn stiff with his face so close. 

He takes a deep breath. “I’m very, very sorry, Y/N. I promise I’ll do my best in letting you know if something came up at work and not make you worry anymore.”

“I like you.”

You wonder whose word that is, but it turns out to be you. It’s literally you who said those three words that you have been practicing since last night. You didn’t even know why it’s coming out right now, it’s just the way he looks at you right now—it’s the first thing you want him to know. 

“What?” He looks mildly bewildered.

“I like you, Seokjin. I… I don’t know when or how, but I really, really like you.” You confess. You finally confess, yet the way Seokjin looks immediately puts you in horror. That’s absolutely not the look you expected from him.

He laughs with sheer awkwardness. “Of course, we are married. You know I like you too, Y/N.” Yet you know he meant differently.

You know everything will go south the moment you try to say what you truly meant, yet you don’t want to lie anymore. You are tired of hiding what you’re feeling. “I am serious. I like you, in that way. I might even love you. The past two years, we’ve been with each other and I seriously couldn’t be happier with what we both had. I know this is not what we both planned—”

“It’s most absolutely not.” He cuts, distancing himself from you, face filled with panic.

“—but I want you to know. I want to try this, Seokjin. I know you might need some time, and what I feel might be one-sided, but I want you to know and try this. With me.”

A moment of silence to tense that you can slice it to choke yourself—when it’s only you and him who is avoiding your gaze. He then scoots off the bed, and you feel like you can’t breathe.

 “I… I’m gonna go. You should finish your breakfast.”

And then he left.

The misery doesn’t end there. You never felt someone could be so physically close yet so far away like what he’s putting between the two of you right now. For a straight week he literally never came home earlier than nine, and when he did, he’d sleep on the couch. And fuck did it hurt to sleep knowing he is out of your reach. You never know love could hurt like this—maybe you trusted him too much with your heart.

Saturday, you left a note that you’ll be off to your parents house for the weekend, and even then Seokjin didn’t contact you. And coming back home, your parents fortunately didn’t fuss as much, maybe since you just said you needed time away from him. 

The night comes, you are lounging in your room when your phone rings. At once you quickly jump to retrieve it, frown when seeing its a social media notification instead.

From : @pjmin

Hi, Y/N, this is Jimin! Hope you are doing well :) [21:29]

I know this is a bit hurried, but if possible, are you up to meet for coffee tomorrow? [21:29]

It’s okay if you can’t, just want to talk and catch up while I’m in town [21:30]

Let me know! [21:31]

Albeit doubtful, you are indeed curious about what he wants to talk about, knowing it must have something to do with Seokjin. Unable to hold your curiosity, you agree to a time and place with him.

Tomorrow, you walk into the agreed coffee shop, finding Jimin already seated, sipping on his beverages. You carefully pay attention to him, and notice he indeed has changed so much from that average kid you met when you were kids. Well, not that you have any rights to comment though.

“Hi.” He greets with a smile after you are seated in front of him. “I ordered you something. Hope you’re okay with caramel frappucino. You still like sweets?”

“Ah, I’m fine with anything. Thanks. And yes, I still like them. Kinda surprised you still remember, though.” You joke. Jimin lips curls.

“Well, the memory of a kid eating four cotton candy in one sitting until she passed out from high blood sugar is not really something one could forget.” He giggles, and you roll your eyes. Well, your childhood is indeed not a pretty one. “It was rather traumatizing, I could say.”

After a moment of catching up on how he’s currently doing right now, you mindlessly ask him. “So, where is your fiancé? I thought she’ll be with us here.”

Jimin instantly dims at the mention. “Uh… We broke up.”

You stop your movement and gape at him in disbelief. “Seriously? Why?”

“Well, let’s just say once a cheater is always a cheater?” Jimin stares down at his drinks. “Not in that way, though. In the beginning, my family never really liked her, that’s why I’ve been holding off from marriage—no matter how much she pleaded to. We actually came back to get married, and get blessings. And just yesterday, my father sent me a whole report of her financial statement, slush funds, and everything. Well, there’s just too much thing she’s hiding behind my back.”

“Jimin…” You mutter, feeling bad for the guy. But still, you are unable to scoff at how blinded he has been. The girl is no doubt is using him for his money—and he just realized it now? 

“I know what you’re thinking. I must be a damn fool to just realize it now.” He humorlessly laughs, correctly reading your mind. “But maybe I was hoping she’ll one day change. I must be a total dumbass.”

“Yeah, you kinda are.” You had enough of holding back, and it surprises Jimin with your forwardness. You grin regardless. “But that’s okay. Everybody makes mistakes, right? We just gotta live with it.”

“Yeah.” He agrees with a saddened smile. “I know it doesn’t quite make sense telling this to Seokjin’s wife, but… I don’t know. I want you to know that I regretted it. I really shouldn’t have done that—cheating behind his back. Maybe this is karma, anyway. I deserved this.”

You sigh. “You know that you shouldn’t be saying that to me, right? You should tell it straight to Seokjin.”

Jimin sighs, like it has been bugging his mind for a long time now. “But of course he wouldn’t want to see me. And I have a flight tonight, back to Sydney, so I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

“Well, maybe an apology had to wait, then.” You shrug, and Jimin frowns. “You were his friend, Jimin. And I know if I were him, I’d want it coming from you.”

“I guess so. You were right.” He exhales loudly. “Thank you for that too. And agreeing to meet me. I’m really glad we talked. And don’t forget to stay in contact, okay?”

You hum with a wide smile. “Thank you too, Jimin.”

“Oh, I nearly forgot. I brought this for your wedding present.” Jimin crouches, retrieving a gift box as he displays a sincere beam. “I don’t know if Seokjin would like that I’m giving you this, but, yeah. I am very glad that you’re together. You guys seriously could be the best couple I know.”

You fiddly laugh when reminded of the current turmoil of your marriage. Well, he's better off not knowing, though. “You really shouldn’t have, but thank you for this.”

Well, you do hope that whatever Jimin’s gift is, Seokjin is still there to use them.

*

Sunday, you spend lounging on your bed, staring at the gift from Jimin, opened and stacked on your desk. You are still unable to comprehend his thoughtfulness. He gave you a couple bathrobe, a bottle of expensive Bordeaux Wine with two antique wine glasses. You messaged him thank you, and Jimin only sent a wink emoticon as an answer.

And then you are reminded of Seokjin’s scar. What happened with his ex, it was because he was too kind. He was too trustful, and it hurt to let go of someone you’ve been with for nearly half of your life and betrayed you like that. He is really the kindest soul out there—and then you realize that you missed him dearly. You wonder what he might be doing right now. Is he just as distraught as you are? Is he thinking about you as well?

In the middle of your wandering thoughts, your phone abruptly chimes. Finding an unknown number in the other line, you answer hesitantly. “Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N. This is Yoongi, Seokjin’s friend.”

It’s been a long time since you heard from him and you rise to sit, mildly perturbed. “Yes. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Not really. Apologize if I’m too forward, I know there’s a bit of problem at bay, but I know Seokjin’s dying to talk to you, and has been stressing about it since god-knows-when. He’s in my apartment now, can you… get him? Lounging in my apartment drinking is not going to solve anything.” He huffs lightly, and you sigh in distress.

“I know. But I am now in my parents house. Do you think.. I should just come?”

An evil laugh is heard on the other end. “No, that’s unnecessary. I know what’s even better that will help with this whole thing.”

Closing his call in daze, you are still waiting for the plan—but not even an hour in, a rushed knock is already heard from your front door. In a blink, Seokjin is on your bedroom door, carefully opening it. 

“Y/N?” He softly calls your name. “Are you… okay?”

Well, the scared look on his face does make you kind of guilty. Yoongi must have told him lies that you’re sick, and then he didn’t even spend another second and went straight to you. You have no idea what to feel, decide to hide yourself under your blanket.

“Hey, look at me.” He rushes, tapping the side of your arm carefully, but you are still unbudging. Impatiently, he effortlessly tugs the blanket off of you, until you are looking at him with a frown in your face. He rests his palm on your forehead, to your neck, baffled. “Are you sick? Yoongi told me you have high fever.”

“Well, I think Yoongi lied because he wanted to chase you out of his apartment.” You scowl, turning your face with a hint of blush on your face. You never know seeing him again could be this difficult. “I heard you’ve been a parasite to him.” You tease, slightly smiling.

“Yoongi, that disrespectful shithead.” Seokjin hisses under his breath, but it’s obvious that he is avoiding your eyes. He straightens and clears his throat. “Okay then. I think… I should go  home. Are you going to stay here?”

“Seokjin…” You call, holding on his wrist from leaving. “Are you angry at me?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I am not angry at you.”

“But you are avoiding me. And we don’t even talk anymore. This is not how we used to handle problems. What’s wrong?” You persist, determined to end this cold war with him. 

Seokjin sighs. “I am just… scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

“I am scared of disappointing you.” He is visibly downcasted. “I know what you meant, Y/N. But I also know that I can’t be… what you want me to be. I can’t seem to forget... her. I don’t want to hurt you, or myself. And I know It’s difficult, and I don’t want to put you into that pain. It’s better this way.”

“I never pressured you into anything.” You reply, your voice started shaking. “I just want you to know, and try this with me. And you know holding onto something that has hurt you is not going to work, Seokjin. Please, please stop hurting yourself and try this. With me.”

“I-I can’t.” He hurriedly mutters, intending to walk out before you hold him back, crushing yourself into his arms, your tears burst into loud sobs.

For a good ten minutes, you spend it crying on his arms, tears wetting his white shirt. You don’t know what you feel—you’re dejected, sad, disappointed, angry, too many emotions that overwhelms your whole being but can only come in tears when he’s around. “Seokjin, I like you. Why can’t you give us a chance? Are you… that disgusted with me?”

At the self depreciating cries, he quickly looks down, both palms are on either side of your face. “Don’t be like that. I adore you so much, Y/N. Don’t hurt yourself because of me.”

“There’s no way I can’t be sad if you’re still hurting yourself. I just want you to be happy—with me. Is that so hard?” You weep, hiding yourself back to his chest. “I hate this. You know how much I hate crying.”

“Then you shouldn’t have cried that much.” He scolds, stroking your scalp like he usually does—and you slightly feel comforted at his familiar gesture.

After another ten minutes just hugging it out, he finally leans into you resting his head on top of yours, taking a deep breath of nerves.

“Okay. Let’s try then. But please be patient with me, hmm? I’ll try my hardest for us.”

*

“Good morning, sleepyhead!”

He shuffles in his sleep, but is unmoving. You frown, and call him one more time yet still met with no response. Huffing, you scoot closer to him, and clasp his nose to hamper him from breathing. At your disturbance he groans, finally opening his eyes. “Why are you waking me up now… This is still dawn.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have started getting back into gaming now. This is already half past seven, mister. Take a shower before you’re late.” You remind him, and as expected he already has two feet on the ground, running to the shower.

And as a kind and dutiful wife, you help him by preparing his outfits. You chose a nice blue themed suit this time, paired with a nice tie you bought him a few months back. Walking out with a towel wrapped around his waist, you are unable to hold your eyes from straying low. Damn, he really be packing like that, huh?

“What are you looking at, huh?” Seokjin squints his eyes at you, taking the prepared clothes. “Don’t look at me like that. I know I’m a whole snack, but I’m not a sexual object.” He jokes while wiggling eyebrows, and you scoff loudly when you can’t find a sassy reply for him.

You decide to wait in the living room, trying to calm your heartbeat. God, you’re such a loser, now even his bare chest can stupefy you like that. 

Regardless, you're more than content with the current relation with you and Seokjin. Both you definitely have gotten better, a bit more identical to wife and husband—even if it's probably only for you. You are trying your hardest for him, and when you know he can’t instantly fall at your feet and love you the way you do, you are satisfied. At least he’s not pushing you away.

“I’m a bit late for breakfast, but thank you for this.” He whispers, pointing to the pack of food you prepared for him. Noticing what’s missing, you pick the tie from his grasp, and circle around his neck and putting it on for him. He visibly stiffen on your arms.

After finished, you brush his suit’s shoulder and take a step back with a smile. “Let me know when you’ll be home, okay?”

“Okay.” He agrees and softly smiles. “See you.”

And then, he leaves a tender peck on your left cheek and exits the room. 

You literally can’t stop smiling the whole day.

*

One thing that you never really told anyone, is that you never had true sex. Like you had it once or twice in high school, but those annoying jerks never let you even finish and all you were left was disappointment. During college, you were too ambitious for your studies, so the thought of sleeping around was not on your agenda, and you never really believed in love or relationships. So when the thought of sex enters your mind this morning, it was quite frightening.

Having your lunch with only Jungkook, you decided to tell him your concern. He is quite shocked to say the least. “What the—you want to have sex with him? Finally?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” You exhale, pushing away your food in disinterest. “This few days we are making progress. So I don’t know—isn’t sex always the solution? I thought it would do some good for us.”

“Well, it’s indeed a solution for most problems, I would say.” He giggles between words, and you roll your eyes in disgust. “But I don’t know about Seokjin. I must say—the man really has outstanding self control. Sleeping on one bed with a woman for two straight years and still hasn’t initiated sex? Crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been sleeping around before.”

The thought immediately darkens your whole mood, and Jungkook realizes his slips. “—or, he’s just a good masturbator? Nobody knows, Y/N, especially not me. Ha ha ha.” He nervously chuckles, sipping his drinks. “And the minority of men are not that much of an sex-fueled animal. He must be good at keeping his hands to himself, and please don’t mind what I said.”

What Jungkook said might be haunting you a bit that you request to get home early—when instead you’re going to the mall for shopping. You went straight to the ladies side where all kinds of bras or lingerie is available, but you literally have no clue what’s useful for your case. Already desperate, you finally call Jane for advice, discarding the huge probability of damage that you’ll be teased or ridiculed. 

“Oh my god! That’s very fun. I still can’t believe you lied to the boss because you’re preparing to bone your husband tonight.” Jane cackles, truly amused. “God, I miss those alone times with my husband. Don’t have kids too soon, Y/N. Be happy with your husband.”

“Stop rambling and help me pick!” You hiss, realizing a few stares has caught on you. She giggles, and then proceeds to help you pack home a black lacy three piece lingerie that will instantly shock your mother if she ever sees—which she said would ‘even spice up a fifty years old marriage’. 

You don’t even know how that’s possible, or why you even asked her for advice in the first place.

Waiting for your train home, you hold your shopping bag close to your chest, slightly  embarrassed. You don’t know what you should do then—should you just wear it and surprise him in the living room when he comes home? Or lay in your bed while trying to tease him? How does that actually work?

In front of your apartment, suddenly a call arrives. Seokjin. “Hey, Y/N. Work is a bit much today, I think I’ll be late. Will be home around nine, maybe. But can you wait for me? I forgot to bring my keys.”

Agreeing mindlessly, you sigh after ending the call, looking to the bag on your grasp. You really had a bad feeling about this.

*

It’s quarter to nine, Seokjin is already on the way home and you are already all cleaned up. You started with a good, long warm shower and shaves, curled your hair, and put up a light makeup. You even tried watching porn for learning purposes—but instantly grossed out after a few failed attempts at finding a good one. Well, maybe you should just kiss him and not say or do a thing you’ll regret.

Jungkook was right, though. There’s no way Seokjin can handle two long years without sleeping around. Yet even the thoughts of him sleeping with other girls leaves you qualmish. In the middle of your busy thoughts, the bell suddenly rings at the door. 

“Y/N? Are you there? Can you please open this?”

Walking with your heels on, your head is in haze at the thoughts of him seeing you like this. God, you start having second thoughts. Should you just run inside and change your clothes? But the remembrance of the price of this lingerie instantly blanches you. You’d rather be shamed in front of your husband than wasting his much money for nothing. 

“Good ev—what is this?”

Seokjin looks at you, visibly flabbergasted at your unexpected fit. Not even once that he would think you would wear something like this, especially for him—and now your face is already beet red. You are far too shy to do or initiate anything.

“Are you okay? What are you—”

Before he can say other things that will embarrass you even more, you quickly crash your lips to his, kissing it frantically while trying to make it as pleasurable as possible. Seokjin instantly gasps, his bag falling to the floor beside him. His hands rest on your back while you are focusing to make it as good as it can get for him. 

You bite his lips for entrance, and as he moans you slips your tongue inside, tasting the sweet beverages he just drank. At one point, he finally responds—kissing you back with tenderness instead that helps manage a pace that won’t leave you breathless.

Few more minutes of tasting his lips against yours, Seokjin finally lets you go, and unexpectedly laughs. Realizing how foolish you must have been for him, you quickly flee inside the room and jump under your blanket. You hiss and close your eyes, cheeks flushed at the remembrance of the kiss and his amused face staring at you—God, can you be more humiliating?

After taking a shower, Seokjin jumps on the bed and you instantly scoot yourself further away, with your back facing him. The silent giggle is still heard and frustrated, you sent him a glare. “Why are you laughing?! There’s nothing funny.”

“I’m laughing not because it's funny, but because you’re extremely cute.” He hums, probably noticing how the blush crept back on your cheek. You scowl in annoyance. “You’re so aggressive today, but how can you’re still so cute? What happened, hmm?”

“No, I just…Ugh, I’m trying here, okay? I know these past two years might have been frustrating to you, I won’t even be surprised if you’ve been sleeping around—”

“What? What are you saying? Who’s sleeping around?” Seokjin asks, puzzled. You bit your lips, looking down in shame.

“I don’t know, maybe because my friends told me they wouldn’t last without sex and I just… I thought you’re like that too. And we haven’t really talked about that, so...”

He laughs, pulling you close until you flush against his chest. He smells like oak and citrus and it entices you at once. “I haven’t been sleeping with anyone for the past two years. My last time was probably with a stranger when I broke up, I think. I don’t really remember.”

“Really? You don’t have to lie to me, I know it’s really—”

“I am serious. And why would I lie? I just… think it’s not right. To be truthful, I also don’t want you to sleep around with someone else when we’re married, I’m just trying to keep this as pleasant as it could be for us.”

Humming against his chest, you feel your heart warming at his considerate act. You really are marrying the right person—regardless of how unconventional it started. You can’t even imagine if it was someone else. Few minutes of silence just feeling his arms around yours until you speak and ruin the whole conversation. 

“So does it mean you’re a great masturbator?”

Seokjin laughs until his whole body vibrates. “Well, maybe you could say it like that.”

*

“So, are you going to tell me what happened last night?” Jane asks during your lunch with Hoseok, Jungkook, and Namjoon with a hint of teasing on her tone. “I am surprised you even came to the office today. I thought you’d call in sick.”

“What the hell—it’s not like that.” You hiss at her, hoping she’d get your subtle message to quit it. Jane groans.

“Come on, Y/N, we are all adults here. Tell us! At least tell me how many rounds. What was it like? Did you use any other tools—like ropes or vibrators?”

Hoseok and Namjoon literally choke on their drinks, while Jungkook smirks in amusement at your flushed cheeks. “Don’t say it. Damn, Jane, it’s not it! What the hell are you saying?!”

“Well, I mean you literally called in sick to buy a lingerie—that I chose, for those taking notes—which literally will get him hot and erected in no time. How can I not be wondering?! What was it like? Tell me, I’m a lonely mother of two, Y/N. I just want to know, hmm?”

“Yes, tell us, Y/N! How’d it go with your lawfully wedded husband?” Jungkook joins in, giggling in mischief. You shot him an unamused look.

“Ah, I remember those days. Fucking till morning with my wife. Well, before the baby arrives.” Namjoon sighs dreamily, and you are visibly repulsed at his sentence. “I agree with Jane, Y/N. I love my child to death, but I’d rather wait for maybe another year or two.”

“It’s not like that!” You hide your face on your palm. “There literally nothing happened. I wore that lingerie, and surprised him when he came home, but we ended up doing nothing but kissing. He laughed, by the way. Thanks for that, Jane.” You glare at her, and she shrugs.

“Only that?” Hoseok asks, uncertain. “You’re already wearing lingerie and nothing happened?”

You vengefully nod. “That’s really all. Then he took a shower, we just talked until both fell asleep. Done.”

Namjoon contemplates, fingers on his chin. “That’s weird. Hmm. You don’t even bother jumping in the shower?”

“You are an idiot.” You sigh, massaging your temple—even if the idea struck you in a way. Should you have jumped into the shower with him? But you did your make up and all... “Even kissing him was already—”

Jungkook quickly cuts with roaring laughter. “Wow, I never know you’re that much of an idiot, Y/N! Ha ha ha I’m hungry, does anyone want to order food now?” As others are focused on skimming the menu, he sends you a look, and you just register that you were about to blabber the reality of your marriage. You grimace and mutter your thanks to him.

*

Two weeks have passed in a blink, and you are seriously pleased with the way things are. It feels like the boundary has been torn down between you two, and pretty clear that Seokjin’s been making an effort for your relationship as well. Usually, you always feel the things he does is based on mere obligation, but you know it’s no longer the case for him. You can feel how much he cares and adores you—receiving your bear hugs whenever he comes home, holding you close before coming to bed, kissing your forehead whenever it feels right. 

Just like today. You are feeling a bit feverish, and when you reply to his message asking how’re you doing, he immediately calls.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks after the first beep, tone laced with concern. “If you’re not feeling good, you should go home. Do you want me to call a taxi? Or can you wait for an hour, I’ll take you home.”

“I’m fine. This is not really rare. I’ll be fine soon.” You giggle, even inside of you tickles on the wondrous feeling of him caring for your well being. “I’ll go straight home after this.”

“Okay. I’ll get you.” He reminds and you hum in agreement. “Stay put until then, okay?”

I love you. “See you.”

I love you too. “Bye.”

And while driving home with Seokjin, you don’t know why but you feel physically much better than before. It just feels so right with him beside you. Especially when you initiate to hold his hand, he lets go for a second and repositions himself so he could hold your hand better—you seriously think you could fall sick on how jumpy you’ve become because of him. 

“Are you sure you’re sick? Or you just need some attention, hmm?” He teases, lightly pinches your cheek. You huff in embarrassment. 

“You’re annoying.” You are about to pull back your hand to your lap when he holds it tighter. 

“Who says I wanna let go.” Seokjin’s lips curl into a hearty smile. You still maintain your fake scowl. “You’re just so cute, that’s what.”

“Why are you so cheesy nowadays.” You burst in laughter, unable to hold it back. Seokjin beams, and reliably parks the car in your apartment’s basement with one hand. Finally silence, it's only you and him with the soft engine sound when he pulls you to his arms.

“Thank you for loving me. I seriously don’t know what you see in me, but I seriously can’t believe that you really like me and want to go through this.” He exhales softly, his left arms holding you by the waist, his right stroking your hair. “I hope that you know that I’m trying my best here. But I don’t know why, it doesn’t even feel like trying. Everything is so easy with you.”

“That’s really cheesy.” You chuckles, but tighten your arms around him regardless. “I’m also very thankful that you’re giving us a chance. I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. I keep on making a mess, falling in love when I shouldn’t—”

“Hey, don’t say that. I am really happy we’ve been through this, or I might always chicken out. Even if it could be better if I wasn’t such a jackass, but I’m still grateful.” He coos, pecking your forehead.

Releasing his hug, you are about to mutter something when he cuts with his lips lurching unto yours, cutting whatever sound beside loud moans. You are taken aback, falling a step back before steadying yourself by finding purchase on his shoulder. His palms are on either side of your face, pacing himself. 

You spend no time responding, savoring the tender taste of his lips. He tasted just the way you remember, sweet and addicting that leaves you wondering why you haven’t been doing this since the beginning. Catching a breath, he laps at your lips for opening, and as you comply, he roughly pulls you closer by the nape, tangling his tongue like he is a man starved all this time. 

“Did you eat a donut?” You giggle when he lets your lips go, trailing pepper kisses on your neck instead. When his lips ghosts to the succulent curve of your v-neck top, you abruptly pull him up to see you in the eye. 

“Baby, don’t. Not here. We’re just steps away from the apartment and we’re not getting reprimanded of public indecency.” You remind him. Seokjin scoffs, letting out a deep sigh.

“You shouldn’t wear this top. This is not good for my health.” He frowns as you laugh. “And what are you thinking, I’m not going to have our first time in this car. It was just an intro, so you better be prepared.”

“Ooh, consider me spooked, then.” You smirk in mischief. It is somehow proven by the way Seokjin cannot take his hands off of your waist, ghosting right above the bump of your ass while ascending to your apartment. At all the action you feel the discomfort between your thigh—high chance you are already dripping wet. You have been feeling exceptionally horny this few days, anyway. 

“And don’t think I didn’t know the way you’re invading my space and grinding your ass last night when we went to sleep.” He suddenly mentions the event that leaves you all blushing—especially with the other residents on the elevator. You elbow him right away, finger crossed they won’t hear a word he’s saying.

Arriving in your apartment, Seokjin doesn’t hesitate when he pulls you for a deep kiss, his fingers hovering on the hem of your top to detach it from you, flinging it to wherever. Your skin shivers when his fingers are in contact with your bare skin, and to your bra as he grabs the succulent flesh that leaves you a moaning mess. 

“Baby, wait. I need to go to the restroom.” You whisper between the kiss, when  the incessant throb quite overwhelming your good sense now. Seokjin huffs in pout but let go either way. There’s no way he will say no to whatever request you have for him.

“Don’t be long, sweetheart.”

Running to your toilet with a qualmish feeling on your stomach, you quickly discard your panties with a hypothesis—to have it confirmed by how it has been ruined… with your period blood. You hiss, the frustration building up in your head. You are just about to have sex with your husband after long days of pining, and you just had to have the period on the exact same day. There’s gotta be wrong with your luck.

Finally cleaning yourself, you walk out to find your husband is sitting on the couch, a visible hard-on from his trousers. At the sound of you walking out, he stands but to find your deep frown. “Hey, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

“Ugh, I hate this so much. I can’t believe we’re about to do this but I got to have my period.” You run to his side, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m sorry for ruining this.”

At your visible dejection, Seokjin can’t bear but to giggle and it leaves you puzzled. How can he be laughing now? “Hey, it’s no matter to me. We can do something else about it, okay? I’ll take care of you. And we can leave that one for raincheck, so don’t be upset.”

Seokjin spends no other second in ravishing your lips while detaching your bra, discarding it in the same manner. His large palms grab the mounds, giving it a little squeeze before pinching your sensitive buds, especially now that you’re in your period. “Ugh, god. You’re so beautiful.” He gruffly mutters before taking your left mounds into his mouth, giving it a hard suck that you have to tug on his fluffy hair on how the pleasure has engulfed you. 

“Seokjin...” You moan his name as he shifts to the other mounds, his other hand strays to your clothed core, giving it a feathery touch before he pushes his digits. You bit your lips, holding back a sound.

“Don’t hold back, sweetheart. I want to hear all of you tonight.” He reminds. You nod, feeling your mind has clouded in haze and all you can feel is how great he is with his deed.

Noticing how he has been focusing on your pleasure and satisfaction, you push him back to the couch, your knees on the wooden floor before taking a ride for yourself by opening the fly of his trousers. Seokjin gasps at your cold hands on his erected cock before it springs free in all its glory. 

“God, you’re so big. I’m not sure if I can take you end when this fucking period is over.” You are shocked at the size of his girthy dick, the precum is already leaking and you can feel your saliva swimming in your mouth—desperate for a taste.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I told you I’ll take care of you, okay?” He comforts, before his tone drops. “Now suck on my cock like you’re a bitch in heat.”

You give a kittish lap on the slit, tasting the saltiness that is unfamiliar to your tongue, but is easy to discard when encouraged by the moan he is letting out with such favor. Noticing that it might hurt him to be blown without proper preparation, you spit on his dick, before giving him a sensual pump. “Fuck, Y/N, where did you learn to do that—god!” He moans in rapture. 

Your mouth closes in, sucking on the tip before taking him in your mouth. You run your tongue along the vein of his beautiful cock, wrapping your lips tight around it, feeling how it throbs in your mouth. “Fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop.” He hisses, pushing his cock deeper into your mouth. But for the intention of teasing, you’re detaching your lips, going to the ridge of his cock’s length for a lick.

“Damn it, baby, why are you such a tease.” He groans, but is cut with your palm wrapping around his dick, the other slides up to his ball. You can feel a new wave of arousal coming out from your pussy. “Now let me fuck your throat.” He stoutly orders with hooded eyes, forcing your mouth back to take in his red tip and length until it hits the back of your throat—resulting in a gag. Seokjin gathers your hair, helping it out of your way before he raises his hips, feeling the wondrous feeling of your mouth clamming on his dick.

“Don’t flex your throat, sweetheart. Relax, okay? Tell me if you want to stop.” He stares at you, and you nod. You fucking love this, and you’d literally do anything to make him satisfied tonight. Your throat relaxes, and you savor his satisfied groans after feeling the back walls of your throat, with the tears streaking your cheek at his pace and feeling the burn. 

“O-oh g-god, F-fuck y-yes.” Seokjin pants, each syllable coming out as he thrust into your throat. “Look at me, sweetheart. I want to see your pretty face while I fucked your mouth hard.” He angles you better until he is satisfied, the lewd image of his cock stuffed into your mouth instantly sends him jerking faster.

A throaty moan slips out of you, and the action successfully sends him to his edge, feeling the vibrations cause his cock to throb in your pretty mouth. “Fuck, this is amazing. You’re so fucking great.” The compliments earns him another groan from you, and it ignites the leading to his awaited orgasm.

Few other thrusts in your throat, you finally feel Seokjin constricting inside of you. He’s about to come, and you’re expecting him to release his load for you to swallow—you were prepared, overall—but unexpectedly he retracts from your mouth, instead jerking off in immaculate pace, and the loss of his dick leaves hollowness inside your throat. “I wanna cum on your tits, baby.” He gruffly whispers.

“Give it to me, daddy.” You persuade, as he pants, still working on his red cock—on the edge of his orgasm. Yet not even once he turns his gaze from you, all red and high with lust hooded in your eyes, the trace of tears on the side of cheek, the swole of your plump lips coated in his pre cum and spit. You look surreal. 

“Fuck-fuck! You’re so fucking beautiful.” He hisses, increasing the pace of his pumps before releasing his massive loads on your tits, painting it white. You look down to yourself, feeling his cum trickles down to your nipples and to your thigh. You swipe the liquid with your forefinger, before lapping it clean inside your mouth, internally revolting at the taste.

“Damn, this is crazy. How the fuck you are so good at that.” He sighs in delight, looking at you with lidded eyes and evident aftersex glow. “Let me clean you up.” He reaches for the tissue, cleaning his loads on your breast. Both of you involuntary laughs at the current event. 

“Come here.” He crouches down, scoops you into his hold before moving to the bedroom. You abruptly circle your arm around his neck, he closes in for your lips for another make out session on bed. While his tongue is lapping at your own, his fingers move to stimulate you with your hardened nipple until your breath is rigged. His right finger cups your clothed core, giving it a welcomed pressure and humping it until you’re left with moans and satisfied sighs, your finger clutches on his hair, tugging it lightly. 

Seokjin’s lips advanced to your ear,giving it a kittish lick. “And you better be prepared, I will eat you out and fuck you all night afer your period is done, sweetheart..”

*

It’s finally Friday, and you are at your desk for work after lunch. Suddenly, Jane closes in at you. “What are you looking at that seriously?” She inquires, noticing you’ve been staring at the calendar on your desk for longer than anyone should. You turn to her, and shake your head silently. 

“No, I just realized that it's soon December.”

“So?”

“It’s soon will be Seokjin’s birthday. He’s turning 34.”

Jane nods in understanding. “Will you get him anything?”

“I don’t know.” You tap your chin, thinking of what to get him. You’ve been scrolling through commerce websites, yet to find even an idea about what to give to him. And it hits you—maybe you don’t really know him after all. “What did you get your husband for his birthday?”

She chuckles. “Last birthday I gave him a responsibility of a lifetime—my pregnancy test came out positive. I wouldn’t say it was a very good birthday present though, as we didn’t really expect a pregnancy after all.”

It dims you right away. Pregnancy? It is too far fetched, right? You haven’t even discussed it with Seokjin—and you don’t want to directly throw him a responsibility for another life being when your romantic relationship has basically just started. Days after days of late nights humping and blowjobs, waiting for your period is over is not basically a very firm foundation for having kids. You don’t even know if you’re ready for it.

And today is the last day of your period. Seokjin has actually asked if you want a dinner together—and you said yes. Based on his promise, today should also be the day you will be making love till dawn. But this dampens your mood a bit, at the thought of having kids frightens you. 

Scrolling through instagram, you see that Tasha, your sister-in-law has posted a series of photos from the previous birthday lunch of your father-in-law. The first photo is the five of them smiling together, the second is their three children with the grandparents, and the next one is Seokjin, smiling while he’s caging Taehyun’s little frame inside his arms. You smile longingly at that. Nobody can deny it though—Seokjin is amazing with kids, you know how much he loves them. And there are countless times you pity him for marrying you—as children were never part of your plan before.

But now you love him. And so does he.

And the thoughts have been haunting you that even when you’re seated in front of him in a high class restaurant, Seokjin can sense something is bothering your mind. He holds you by the hand across the table, and how you instinctively flinch confirms his suspicion. 

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

You smile nervously at him, shrugging. “I am fine, but yeah.. Something is just.. bugging my mind, that’s all.”

“What is it?” He asks softly, a bit worried. “Don’t you like this place? Are you cold? You’re not sick, right?”

“It’s not it.” You giggle at his cute attention. “I just... you know, I saw the date and realized that you’re having a birthday soon. I just don’t know what to get you. A bit upset that maybe it feels like I don’t know you that well, that’s all.”

His face lightens at that, the creases of his smile evident. “No, you don’t have to get me anything. I’m just happy with what we have right now.” He gazes at you, pulling your hands to give it a light kiss. “I am just.. very thankful that you’re here.”

“But I want to give you something.” You frown, looking down. “It feels like you’re always taking care of me, and I’m always at the receiving end.”

“Why are—Y/N, you are the most selfless person I know. The way you take care of me just shows how much I owe you with anything I have. I want to make you happy, as you already made me the happiest I can be.” He explains in rush, like he’ll suffocate if you don’t realize how precious you are to him any time soon.

“Thank you.” You gratefully replies, holding back the tears from falling.

The next two hours, you’re already in bed with Seokjin on top of you, both your clothes are far long discarded on the floor. His palm is grabbing your succulent mounds, his right palm on the bed beside your face. His lips are lapping at yours, savoring the wine you consumed from the previous dinner.

“Seokjin, please put your dick inside me.” You moan before biting his lower lips. He smirks haughtily.

“Not so fast. I promised I’d eat you, didn’t I, kitten?” He questions, before moving his kisses to your neck, breast, stomach and to your thigh. You bite your own lips, your breath hitched when feeling the cold air he blows to your throbbing core. 

He laps at your cunt, his fingers sensually moving in circles for stimulation, and when his tongue is finally in contact with your clit, you feel the new wave of arousal is dripping out. Seokjin grins, instantly welcoming it with his tongue that leaves you a moaning mess. “Kitten, you’re dripping so much. Do you want to be fucked that badly?”

“Yes, yes, daddy. Don’t hesitate, please fuck me.” You breath out, finally pulling his face closer to your cunt. Seokjin slaps them harshly, eyes turning dark at your disobedience.

“Are you not going to be patient, kitten? Do you want daddy to stop fucking you?”

The thoughts literally scare your whole being that you deters from touching him. “Daddy, please. Fuck me, stuff me with your big cock.”

After that he continues on with his crazy good tongue, moving in and out of you until you screams his name in pleasure. Not only his tongue, his digits enter you in exchange, furthering them inside to scissors you until you are crying of ecstasy. As your orgasm builds up, he circles your clit in wondrous motions with simultaneous licking your cunt which helps you reach your edge. And not even another minute, you cum generously on his tongue.

Few minutes of reaching your breath, Seokjin laughs at your fucked out expression, your orgasm has caught up with you. You are literally glowing with sweat and satisfaction that it literally takes his breath with how blissful you feel, because of him.

“Don’t look at me like that, baby. I still need to ride you, need you to cum inside me.” You remind him right after finding his strangely contented expression staring down at you. “Just... let me take a breather, okay?”

“Are you sure you can ride me? It seems like you lost all your energy.” He giggles, plopping beside you on bed, pulling you close to his chest, that you are leaning on his arm. “I am marrying a fifty years old. How come you already lost your stamina after an orgasm?”

“It’s not it! I’m just a bit tired after work.” You scowl, rolling your eyes at his teases. “You are so annoying.”

He smirks, pecking you in the lips. “But you love me, right?”

“My fault, I know.” You huff. In Seokjin's hearty smile, and you suddenly are  reminded of the photo of him Tasha posted this afternoon. 

“Seokjin. Can I ask you something?” You ask, fidgeting your finger. Seokjin hums. “You know, I saw Tasha posted a photo of you and Taehyun this morning. And I was just thinking… if you want a child?”

“What?” He looks down at you, a bit of confusion written on his face that it scares you he’ll not take this like you want him to.

“No, it’s just—I just think that you like kids very much and they like you too, I am just thinking if you want a child. I don’t mean it now, b-but if y-you want now—”

“Sweetheart, has this been bothering your mind when we had dinner? About having a child?”

You look down, suddenly not courageous enough to face him, afraid of finding the disappointment or doubt in his eyes. “Yes. No. Maybe? I don’t know.”

Seokjin closes you again now that you are chest by chest, face by face, his arms circling your back. “I want everything with you, Y/N. At the right place, at the right time.”

He continues, fixes your locks and rests a few lost strands behind your ear lovingly. “I know this has been hard, especially for you. Pregnancy, birthing is never easy, and I know it’s not really in your plan, even including me. So I will never force you to anything. I want everything you want, okay? And it’s your body. It’s your choice.”

You nod, burying your face on his shoulder, finding purchase on the musky scent of his. Oh, how much you love this man. “Thank you. I don’t know why you always have the rightest thing to say. I really, really envy and love you for it.”

“You went through for me. Of course I want to give you everything. I love you, Y/N, until the sea sleeps.” 

“Until the sea sleeps?” You cocks your head in questions. He nods affirmatively.

“Yes. If life is the sea, I want to go through it with you. Until it ends. Until it sleeps.” He plants kisses lovingly on your forehead, to your nose, and finally, to your lips. But at once you finally push him on his back, internally shouting in joy at his choice of grand large bed.

“How can you say such thoughtful and beautiful words with your dick is pressing on my stomach.“ You hisses in fake chagrin, before continuing. 

“I love you too, but for now let me ride you, daddy...” You whisper sensually, grinding at his half-erected cock. Seokjin smirks in amusement, resting both his palm behind his head as he enjoys the lewd sight, your breast jiggling wonderfully, your cold hands palming his dick.

Oh god, how much he loves you...

*

2 Years Later....

“Honey, can you help grabbing the diapers?” You pleaded from your bedroom, carefully cleaning your five months old baby girl, throwing away the spoiled diapers near your feet. Seokjin quickly arrives with a fresh set of diapers, baby oils, a fresh pair of baby overalls and beige shirt.

“Thank you, honey, you’re the best.” You smile as he pecks your lips slightly. You continue your work in changing Mina’s clothes as the baby lets out a light gurgles, Seokjin sitting across the bed, his lips curling at the beautiful sight. 

After finally falling in love with each other two years ago, you and Seokjin decided to go with your own pace and did not rush into having kids. It was the best decision after all, not a hint of doubts when you knew he’s just as invested as you are in this marriage. You decided to savor it all, both you and Seokjin took leave from work and humdrum life to explore the other side of world together. 

And eight months together passed, you and him both decided it would be the perfect time for you to start getting off the birth pill. Few months of trying and getting pregnancy, you and Seokjin are granted the beautiful healthy baby girl, whom both you named as Kim Mina.

Holding her then or now, you just know she’s already the best gift of your life that you’d do anything for her happiness and well being. 

“So, is Taehyung and Tasha anywhere near our house?” You ask, glancing at the clock. “They are probably the only people I’d worry at this point. All my work friends are already on the way. Yoongi is already in the way, right?”

“Yes he is. But no worry about Taehyung, sweetheart. I have made him promise or else he’ll have to be a clown for Mina’s birthday party.” Seokjin laughs. “All the food is served, everything is in the way it should be. We are going through this.”

“I can’t believe we’re finally having a housewarming party. And a baby too.” You laugh dreamily, picking up Mina to cradle on your chest. “Four years ago us would never believed this.”

“Four years ago Seokjin was a blind fool, I had to say. He almost missed the greatest woman on the planet.” Seokjin warmly back hugs you, kissing your cheek lovingly. You hum in mirth. “Luckily this greatest woman is willing to fight for him. The greatest gift for that lucky bastard, I have to say.”

“Well, she loved him too much, I have to say. It was all worth it.”

With the end of the sentence, a chime of bell is heard—somebody is coming. You quickly walk to the door with Seokjin on your side. The first one to arrive is Hoseok and Jungkook, the only single bachelor of the party. “Hi, Y/N, Seokjin! Congratulations, the house is incredible.” Both of them give you a sided hug, and Jungkook shoves two bottles of wine on your hold. 

“Drink up!” Jungkook giggles, kissing your baby’s cheek as he taps on Seokjin’s shoulder as a greeting, walking into your house to your tables of served dishes. 

In a spare of minutes, few of yours and Seokjin friends are walking in—Jane and her family, Namjoon and his wife and kid, and Yoongi with his girlfriend. You welcome them all with a wide smile, thankful for their presence.

Your parents and Seokjin’s surprisingly arrive right after each other, simultaneously gushing at their grandchild. “Mina! My very cute grandchild!” Your mother squeals in delight after giving you and Seokjin a greeting hug. Seokjin’s mother immediately scoops Mina out of your grasp, moving inside the house to play with her.

Walking around talking with your friends, another bell chime is heard from the door. You and Seokjin walk to open it, finding Jimin on the door with Yoonji, his wife of three months. Their face instantly lightens up at you, and you move to hug the blissful new couple. 

About Jimin, he finally moved back from Sydney to Seoul for good one and a half years ago. He was taking over a few branches of his father’s business, and you started rekindling the friendship with him. And you don’t want to brag, but you are the matchmaker for Jimin and Yoonji. She was the new assistant manager at your unit, and one dinner, you invited Jimin for dinner with your work friend’s and they instantly hit the bat right away. It doesn’t even take a year for Jimin to get on one knee and propose to her.

“Hi, Seokjin.” Jimin grins in courtesy. Seokjin answers with a laugh, pulling the younger guy into a side hug. You point Yoonji her way to Hoseok and Jungkook. “Congrats on the new house, man. This place is great.” Jimin sincerely compliments, handing him a large box of  housewarming gifts which Seokjin gladly receives with loud squeaky laughs of thank you.

It’s also been a year since Jimin had the talk with Seokjin, in which they bonded over alcohol and food. Jimin also apologized to what he did a few years back, and Seokjin instantly accepted it—no hard feelings, knowing that it was for the best as he finally found you, the best thing that happened to him. After that, Jimin basically joins the gang with Seokjin and Yoongi, and also hangs out with your friends slash his wife’s friend. It was all good.

After the housewarming party time finally arrives, the helper hands the drinks in tray for a toast. You lean onto Seokjin’s chest, as he begins the welcoming toast.

“Thank you everyone for coming. This hasn’t been a very easy ride with me and Y/N, but we are very thankful to where we are right now. A beautiful baby, a great house, a great loan—” Everyone chuckles at his joke. “ —but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wanna say thank you to my wife, who has stood by me through thick and thin. I’d never be able to do it without you.”

Suddenly, the shouts to kiss are visible—high chance initiated by Jeon Jungkook—and you giggle before pressing a tender kiss to his lips. The aws are heard, and Seokjin looks back to the audience. “Thank you to my family and friends. Your great support is the reason we are here right now. I am very grateful.”

“Let’s toast, for this wonderful day. May we always be healthy and happy. Cheers!” Seokjin smiles and clinks his glass of champagne to yours. The sound of glass clinking against each other is heard simultaneously, and you sips on the beverage. Seokjin gazes down on you, a toxicated smile on his lips. 

“What?” You ask, falling a bit shy.

“I am so happy. You make me very happy, and I thank you for that.” He closes, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you, sweetheart. Until the sea sleeps.”

You hum in serenity, savoring his wondrous scent. “I love you too, baby. Until the sea sleeps.”

Suddenly, the doors are busted open, Taehyung rushed eyes staring confusedly at the large group of people settling on their places, Taehyun on his grasp. “Am I late? I don’t have to be a clown, right?!”

Just an disinterested glace before the crowd disperse around the home in group. Seokjin cunningly smirks at him, walking closer and taps his shoulder in a fake comforting manner. 

“Sorry, brother. Looking forward to you coming as a clown in Mina’s birthday party, okay?”

“Fuck.” He curses under his breath, but is not missed by your approaching mother-in-law. She immediately screeches loudly in anger, completely enraged with both hands on hips.

“Kim Taehyung! Your son is there, and you curse?! How dare you set out a bad example for your son?!”

He grimace, glaring at you and your husband who are laughing heartily at his clear misery.

“Lord, have your mercy.”

Thank you for reading! it’s such a great ride writing this. Credits to one quora answer I read that inspires this whole fluffy prompt. And all the smut writers that inspired me on writing such unholy scenes lol

Do slide into my ask box and let me know what you think! 🤩💜💌  And check out my other fics ➡ (click here)!

#bts #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts jin #bts fanfic #bts x reader #seokjin smut #seokjin fluff #bts seokjin smut #taehyung #jungkook #ot7 #ot7 smut #seokjin x reader #taecalikook #bts marriage au #bts strangers to lovers

[haikyuuwriting]

i just read your “forget it, you’re a fucking asshole” oikawa imagine and omg i- jskdjsksk

i know its been quite a while since it was posted but is it possible to ask for a part 2 where he struggles to move on and he sees the reader again then its hella angsty but with a hopeful ending? :(

hey thanks for sending this in!! I haven’t written a request in a while and this was super refreshing to write, so thank you!!

part one

—

The first few weeks adjusting to his new life went much better than he’d expected. He was way too busy meeting his new teammates, unpacking, and getting a feel of this new country he’d be living in, to think of anything other than the tasks he was focusing on. But when he went to bed three weeks after moving in, he wasn’t as tired as he had been, and his mind wandered to a conversation he’d had with Iwa-chan two weeks ago. 

Iwa-chan had called to check in on him, to see how he was settling in. Oikawa almost started crying—he was so relieved to hear a familiar voice. And piled on top of that was the lingering regret of the breakup. Now that he’d arrived in his new empty apartment, with no one to call or talk to, he was missing Y/N more than ever. He didn’t think that was possible, but the ache in his chest was so much stronger than it had been when they were dating and they weren’t together. He remembered that ache well; lying awake restless at night thinking of what Y/N was doing in that instant until he caved and would send them a text, and they’d immediately respond, teasing him for missing them.

Oikawa didn’t ask about Y/N, and Iwa-chan didn’t bring it up. He knew Iwa-chan would yell at him if he dared to ask about them, and this killed his dwindling courage to ask. Iwa-chan said he’d check in later in the month if he wasn’t busy, and when he hung up Oikawa was left with the ringing silence of his apartment.

Two months later he started training with his new teammates, and the time spent alone with his thoughts lessened considerably. On off days he took to wandering around the city exploring, or finding plants to fill his apartment with, remembering the window sill of his mom’s kitchen back home and the way it was always filled with plants. 

But no matter what he did, he couldn’t forget about Y/N. He’d downloaded dating apps and gone on a couple of dates, and no matter how much he enjoyed them he couldn’t bring himself to agree to a second date. He was starting to get frustrated with himself, scared he’d let it start to affect his playing. But none of his teammates or coach had yet to say anything about it, which relieved him. 

Before he knew it his off season was here, and he’d listen quietly to his teammates talk about returning home for a while to visit family. Oikawa still hadn’t decided if he’d leave for Japan. He did miss his family, but he also had a nagging feeling as though he should stay for now. He mentioned it to Iwa-chan through text in passing, and received a heated reply nearly a week later.

Stupidkawa. Stop being such a wuss, if you run into Y/N nothing bad will happen. When are you coming back, I might be able to kick your ass if I’m home at the same time as you.

This earned a laugh out of Oikawa. Unfortunately, though their schedules didn’t match up. But Oikawa made up his mind to head home for a bit. His parents were delighted, and Takeru was already making plans for playing volleyball with him as soon as he landed. 

He left his plants under the care of one of his teammates who was staying in the city and then he was off, catching his flight just before it left and settling into his seat with his stomach filled with nerves. He knew they weren’t about the flight—he was unnervingly nonchalant about airplanes. Oikawa was nervous about the small chance he’d run into Y/N, and what he’d say to them.

When their relationship was all he thought about, he practically had an apology memorized. That was months ago, though, and now he had no clue what he’d say to them. 

When he landed, Takeru and his older sister were there to take him home, and Oikawa felt his eyes teared up as he hugged them. He loved his apartment and his new friends, but now he was realizing he truly had missed home. The first few days back in Japan were a blur. Oikawa spent a lot of it telling stories to Takeru and playing volleyball with him, and helping his mom cook. He even made plans to meet up with old friends in the next few weeks. Things to look forward to.

One Saturday he found himself in an empty house. His parents had gone out to watch a movie together, and his sister and Takeru were busy at their own house, so he had the day to himself. His feet carried him out the door and down familiar streets. Streets he’d walked with Y/N, places they’d frequented often. 

He scanned faces as he crossed streets and peeked into stores, unconsciously searching for them. 

Until he finally found them.

He was grabbing lunch at one of his favorite small restaurants, the one he’d not so coincidentally brought Y/N on for their first date. He was settling down to wait for his food when he glanced up to see someone who’d just walked into the restaurant. They turned to look at him, as if drawn toward him, and when their eyes met Oikawa's his breath caught in his throat and his heartbeat sped up.

Y/N froze, eyes still trained on him, their expression unreadable. Oikawa was sure he was gaping at them like a fish, and he even felt his cheeks warming up slightly. He quickly glanced away, choosing to look intently at his phone, pretending to scroll through it. Anything to avoid eye contact. He hears Y/N order and sees them sit down at a nearby table out of the corner of his eye. He can’t tell if they’re looking over at him. He sincerely hopes not. 

Months of suppressing feelings begins to bubble up inside of him to the point where he feels unwell. A waiter brings him his food and he barely manages a thank you despite feeling infinitely grateful for a new distraction.

He swears he can feel Y/N watching him as he starts to eat. He’s glad he can’t see them well. If he could actually see them glaring at him he doesn’t know if he could ever recover. As he eats Oikawa tries to talk himself into going over to talk to them, finally apologizing for what he did. Because that had been his biggest regret of all— making Y/N feel as though they weren’t even worth his time. They were everything to him, and in the end he hadn’t shown that at all. 

He stands up abruptly just as the waiter is handing Y/N their to-go order. Shit. Oikawa hadn’t been paying attention. Of course they wouldn’t be eating here. 

He walks to where they are still sitting as the waiter scurries off. “Can I sit?” He almost sighs in relief when Y/N gives him a small nod.

“I am truly sorry for how I ended things. You didn’t deserve my shitty excuse of a breakup and the shitty way I told you, especially because you meant so much to me. I should’ve told you in person, and not doing so is my fault and I’m so sorry.” He exhales as he finishes, relaxing his shoulders as though the weight of his regret has literally been lifted off. “I don’t expect you to accept my apology or say anything, I just needed to apologize to you. It killed me that I didn’t get the chance to when I left.”

He moves to get up, to shamefully walk back to his table and drink some of his water to get rid of his dry throat, when Y/N puts their hand up, as if wanting to reach over to stop him. He freezes, watching them as they quickly retract their outstretched hand, letting it rest in their lap.

“I know that’s not how you wanted things to go. I’m sorry I never gave you the chance to apologize. And I’m sorry I ignored your calls and text messages. Iwaizumi called me, you know.” Oikawa flinches at this. “He told me how sad you sounded on the phone. He wanted me to at least hear you out, but I was still so heartbroken I refused. A lot of the hurt is my fault, too. So I’m sorry, Tooru.”

They move to stand up, grabbing their bag of take out. Oikawa stands too, moving out of their way after he pushes his chair in. Y/N is watching him, eyes trained on his every move as he sits back at his table a few feet away. They move closer, a small smile on their lips. “I’ll call you later, is that okay?”

He desperately needs that drink of water now. He manages a nod, and Y/N smiles in farewell before leaving. The sound of the bell above the door rings in his ear long after they’re gone, and he welcomes it, thankful for any other ringing besides the silence of his once lonely apartment. 

#oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #tooru oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyu!! imagine #haikyu fanfiction #M's writing #oikawa tooru

[stylesluxx]

flustered – h.styles

[warnings: minor swearing, sexual talk but in a joking way (no smut), and maybe a little angst if you squint]

summary: in which harry gets flustered around y/n | famous!reader

word count: 2,251

masterlist

Being a popular singer and songwriter was something you always dreamed of. Since you were nine, you had a journal of songs that you planned to perform in front of a stadium of people. You already had your costume designs picked out in your head along with how you wanted your stage to look. Music was your life and even if you couldn't become a successful singer, you knew you still wanted to be in the music industry somehow.

But life turned out exactly how you wanted it to due to your hard work and dedication. You started by putting your music on SoundCloud, where you started to grow a fan base. You made music that so many people could relate to and you made people feel like they had a shoulder to cry on. Eventually, you were doing small concerts and interviews, just to get your name out there some more. And before you knew it, you were releasing your debut album and receiving award after award. From AMAs to Billboard, to iHeartRadio, you were on fire.

But you knew you were being heard worldwide when Harry Styles followed you back on Instagram. You had been following him ever since he was in One Direction, a group you held very dear to your heart. Once they went on hiatus, you kept up with Harry's music and watched him develop as an artist. And you'd never tell him this to his face, but you were a proud fan.

It was the day after the AMAs and you were laying on the couch in your living room, scrolling through your comments and thanking fans for giving the album a listen when you got the notification.

Your jaw dropped open as you shot up from the couch and let out a scream. Your left hand shot up to cover your mouth once you were done screaming.

"No fricking way!" You gasped and took a screenshot before sending it to the group chat with your two best friends.

y/n: gasp!

emily: no way

sarah: ugh now you can shoot your shot

y/n: ... no

You went back to Instagram once your phone buzzed once more, making your eyes widen.

harrystyles: Really enjoying the album! Much love. H

You had no idea what to do or what to even say. You were completely star-struck. Sure you've gotten compliments from other artists but you didn't admire them as much as you admired Harry.

You took a screenshot and switched back to the Messages app, sending the picture to your friends.

y/n: y'all...

sarah: yeah he definitely wants to eat your ass

y/n: sarah...

sarah: y/n...

emily: omg, marry him !!

y/n: what do I say????

sarah: uhhh thank you ???

emily: be chill but not too chill. grateful and kind but not desperate

You switched back to Instagram and stared at the message in front of you before sighing and typing.

y/n_y/l/n: thank you so much for the support! fine line and self-titled have been on repeat!!

"I can't believe that just happened," You mumbled to yourself and fell back on the couch, completely elated.

— It was seven months after the Instagram encounter and you and Harry haven't spoken since. You figured it was just an artist complimenting another artist's work and it meant very little to him. He probably already forgot it had happened but you thought about it constantly.

You were waiting for your order at a coffee shop in Los Angeles when you were bumped hard. The bump almost knocked you down but you were quickly caught by the culprit, his hand on the bottom of your back, pushing you back upright.

"I'm so sorry," He apologized and looked down at you.

"No worries," You shook your head and gave him a small smile.

"You're Y/N Y/L/N, I believe I dm'd you a few months back. H-how are you?" He asked, taking you by surprise.

You had already turned away but this man recognizing you made you face him once again. You looked at his face (which was hard to see since he was wearing a hat that sheltered his face).

"Oh, Harry!" You smiled cheerily. "It's wonderful you meet you in person. I'm well, and you?"

"I-I'm great," He nodded eagerly and you took the moment to take in his face.

His green eyes pierced into your Y/E/C eyes before quickly looking away, looking anywhere but at you. And his cheeks were bright pink as if he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

"That's good, the BRITs are coming up-"

"I-I actually have to go," He interrupts you.

"O-oh okay. Sorry for holding you up," You nodded and plaster on a fake smile as he nods and walks off.

You bit your lip and scrunched your eyebrows, internally screaming at yourself. That was so awkward and cringe and you just wanted to forget all about your coffee and run home. Your legs wanted to run to your car, hop in, speed all the way home, and just jump under the covers and forget you even existed. But the BRITs were coming up and you had to be on a plane later.

—

Walking down the red carpet was something you'd never get used to. That and paparazzi. You didn't like the bright lights and people yelling at you, telling you what to do. But you did love showing off your outfits.

You were wearing a strapless black gown that showed off the perfect amount of cleavage, and diamonds that decorated your ears and wrist. You were feeling confident and beautiful and your last encounter with Harry was pushed to the very back of your mind until you arrived at your seat.

Harry was already sitting in his spot at the table. He was wearing a light blue button-up that was covered by a purple wool cardigan but that too was topped off with his brown suit. He looked very handsome and now you were worried that maybe what you were wearing was quite basic.

But you didn't have time to turn around and run away, because he had spotted you and was pulling at his collar nervously. You gave him a soft smile and seated yourself, rubbing your sweaty palms in your dress.

"Hello, nice to you see you again," You greeted him.

Your heart was racing erratically and you were pleading to yourself not to fuck this up.

"The pleasure is all mine," He smiled and you felt the heat rise to your face. You figured it was the same heat that was adorning Harry's face also.

The conversation quickly ceased and you internally sighed, ready to tell your group chat what a failure you were. But you were back to being smiley and happy when a cameraman came over and asked for a picture of the two of you. Harry wrapped an arm around your waist and you leaned into his side with a big cheesy smile.

The show started and a producer came over to Harry mid-show, telling him he should get ready for his performance. He nodded, stood up, and pushed his seat in.

"Good luck," You bid him before he could walk away.

He beamed at you and nodded in appreciation before walking off to follow the producer backstage.

He came on stage in a completely different outfit. A white lacy button-up with matching trousers covered his body and was complemented with a pair of matching gloves.

You enjoyed the performance, especially the water on the stage, and you made sure you told him once he got back to the table. Now he was wearing a bright yellow suit and a purple shirt, completely hard to miss.

"Your performance was lovely," You told him once he sat down. "I liked the water bit."

"Thank you. You're up next, correct?" He asked and took a sip of his water that was untouched until now.

"Yeah, just a bit nervous," You admitted and gulped anxiously while standing up.

"Break a leg. Well, not actually. Do people even say that anymore-"

"It's okay, I get it," You giggled at his flustered demeanor. He was completely red and was playing with the rings on his fingers. "Thank you, Harry."

Your performance went swimmingly and soon you were back at your seat, anxious for the award you were nominated for.

Apparently, it was noticeable how nervous you were because Harry hesitantly reached over and rested a hand on yours.

"If they don't think you're the best International Solo Female Artist, then screw 'em. I think you're the best," He assured you, making your nerves cease.

"Thank you. You're truly a delight, which I'm sure you've been told."

Before he could respond, your name had been called, making you face the stage with wide eyes. He rubbed your hand before pulling back and clapping along with the rest of the crowd.

You told from your seat and walked over the stage, not quite sure how you got there because everything seemed like a daze. But it became real when the award was placed in your hand and you had to give your speech.

"I am... in awe, truly. I am so happy and grateful. This album was absolutely life-changing for me and I hope it was for those who gave it a listen. I really cannot believe I'm here right now. Thank you so much to everyone who's been supporting me. I would like to thank my family and my team for all their love and support. And before I go, I'd like to thank Harry Styles who actually has been a huge inspiration of mine and he's so sweet and was literally just soothing my nerves. This night has been so great and this award was the icing on the cake. Thank you so much and goodnight."

You watched Harry's face turn bright as he smiled up at you and turned red for the thousandth time since you've met him.

You walked backstage and let out a sigh of relief once you got away from all the cameras. It wasn't as nerve-racking as you thought it would be but maybe it was because Harry gave you a pep talk before your speech.

You were pulled for pictures before they finally let you go but the show was over by then.

—

You were far too exhausted to be at the after-party but you already sent in an RSVP. You were wearing black leather pants with a matching halter crop top and basic black heels.

You usually attended parties with Sarah and Emily but they were back in L.A. working their regular jobs so they couldn't come. You quickly became aware that you didn't know anyone here you were you disappointed you didn't drag your manager along.

You were seated at the bar sipping on a Shirley Temple and bobbing your head to the music when you were tapped on the shoulder. You turned around with a smile on your face, ready to befriend whoever, but your smile only grew more when you saw the man in front of you.

"Harry!" You cheered and pulled him into a hug. "You don't know how happy I am to see you. I don't know anyone here and it'd be rude for me to leave not even an hour in."

"I'm happy I found you. I only came because I knew you'd be here. Kinda just wanna listen to Stevie Wonder for the rest of the night," He spoke honestly and his eyes showed vulnerability.

For once he was red but you could tell he was putting himself out there. He wasn't dressed up in a fancy outfit; some loose jeans, a striped red and white t-shirt, and all-white vans.

"That sounds lovely!" You agreed. You turned around and took one last sip of your drink before facing him once again and hopping off the barstool. "Shall we?"

Harry's apartment is almost exactly how you expected it to be. It was organized and clean, everything about it seemed untouched and perfect but it still had a homey feeling to it. It still invited you in and asked you to stay awhile. It was so welcoming, you forgot about how you and Harry going home together was going to be plastered all over the blogs.

"This is really nice," You expressed as you looked at the little aloe plant on his coffee table.

"Oh thanks, my mum got it for me. Thought it'd teach me some responsibility and it hasn't died yet so," He spoke with humor and let out a soft chuckle at the end.

You grinned and watched as he walked over to his record player, an old brown wooden one from the 90s. He took am album from his shelf where it looked like he had been collecting all his life and took the record from the sleeve. He gently placed it down and set the needle on the record, smiling as “Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer” floated gracefully throughout the room.

"This is one of my favorite songs," You hummed as you listened.

Harry slowly walks over to you, hesitantly placing his hands on your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck. You both swayed back and forth in each other's arms as the song played uninterrupted throughout the living room. You rested your head on Harry's chest, mixing the song and his heartbeat together, growing even calmer at your serene surroundings.

"Better than any party."

#Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #stylesluxx #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb