#lived a great life

[wasty28]

Shouldn't be funny but hear me out-

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #xie lian!!!!! #xie lian #crown prince of xianle #life sukcs #lived a great life #heavens official blessing #tgcf donghua #tgcf novel #yep yep #his life #sucked into a bagel

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[raggedy-spaceman]

Neil behind the camera all day tomorrow

#good omens #neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant #good omens 2 #good omens press day #they’re insane for starting at 7am with a LIVE SHOW #Michael’s worst day in his life #Poor Michael I actually think he’ll do a great job but this joke is so funny to me SORRY #mine

[ashstfu]

i am so in love w life right now. i wake up super early & i do pilates. i love to hear the chirping of birds in my quiet house on a sunday morning and i play jazz records and silently make myself coffee and enjoy it with a poem. i am developing a habit of eating fruit everyday and i take long walks in the evening and i love watching people do their thing. i visit the beach atleast three times a week, i love the sea and feeling the gentle breeze of the wind on my face. spending my time at beautiful coffee shops and bookstores. i study on my living room floor and actually love that. i read every night before i go to sleep & listen to music while watching the hills illuminated by lights. my friends come over every friday and we cook dinner together and have a little dinner party, i drink wine in the bath, i buy myself flowers and take myself out for dinners. i actually feel good & fulfilled w my life <3

#super greatful that i get to live a life like this <3 :) #personal

[emotional-emotion]

Seinfeld (1989 - 1998) 6.23 The Face Painter

#seinfeld #jerry seinfeld #elaine benes #seinfeldedit #tvedit #tvarchive #televisiongifs #sitcomedit #chewieblog #userbbelcher #*mystuff #this is dedicated to my upstairs neighbors blasting the worst possible music at 3am #the day when i hadn't slept at all for 24+ hours and i needed sleep the most #after i tried to signal to turn the music down it's 3am after all this is unacceptable no matter what #they turned it up even louder! #what kind of psychopathic behavior #i had to take not one but 2 benzos just to calm down and drug myself to sleep #i hate people #i truly hate them #btw the guy that lives upstairs turns out is a cop or something like it.. so just great all around i truly hate my life

[raintides]

your blood like wine

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #i learned how to play i want to live on the guitar and i am terrible at it but it brings me great joy #i wish i had a classical guitar bc nylon strings sound so beautiful but i wanted to play rock so all i have is an electric #my life's purpose... drawing meowmeows dipped in a little blood

[stevethehairington]

everyone i see saying "omg oliver really said eat the rich!!!1!111!!!!" are COMPLETELY missing the point of that movie. it was not an "eat the rich movie", it wasn't about class in that sense AT ALL. it was very much about desire and obsession and consumption. not class!!

#saltburn #sure class plays a small role in it #but its literally revealed that oliver ISNT poor he isnt living a bad life in a bad home in wanting conditions #he has a middle class family that seems fairly stable financially #he literally makes up all the stuff about having terrible parents who were neglectful and drunk all the time #so it really is not about him infiltrating this family to steal their money and property #not at all!!!!! #yeah he becomes obsessed with a boy from a rich family but it is not BECAUSE he is rich #that has nothing to do with it!! #and people who look at this film and only see it as an 'eat the rich' movie are doing it a GREAT disservice #they are fundamentally misunderstanding it

[awesomecooperlove]

🦓🦬🦍🐃🦌🦣🐆🦒🐘LOVE COMPASSION REMORSE EMPATHY HUMANITY SOLVES EVERYTHING 🫏🦙🐐🦌🐈🐕🐩🐏

❤️❤️❤️

#love #animals #compassion #empathy #remorse #humanity #saving a live #heroes #beautiful souls #all lives matter #earthlings #saving animals #saving souls #life is priceless #precious beings #GOD’S CREATIONS #GOD’S CHILDREN #pnly great people do great things #please share #wwg1wga

[montereybayaquarium]

🎵 “Who is that bird I sea, staring straight back at me?” 🎵

#monterey bay aquarium #i look im peck able #reflecting on how to be not just great but the greatest egret #step one live life with no egrets #if this was a cattle egret we could call it moo lan

[dizzybizz]

some stuff picked out from my tgaa sketch dump :) figuring out some faces,, memes,,, stuff based off of dialogue,,, exactly one sad,, gays,,,

#these r all wildly out of order lmaoo #ryuu ass up is the ghost trick meme... literally him chapter 5 investigation part 4 #boscombe valley one is the “i am become kirby” bdg quote from the kirby unraveled.. #my art #doodle #the great ace attorney #tgaa #dai gyakuten saiban #dgs #ryunosuke naruhodo #susato mikotoba #kazuma asogi #herlock sholmes #iris wilson #gina lestrade #barok van zieks #van zieks with long bottom lashes changing my life ngl #anyways do you think kazuma ever just leaned against the wardrobe and dozed off like that. do you think that maybe the two of them ever sta #yed up talking late into the night. do you think that ryuu ever thought about maybe climbing outta the wardrobe to sleep in the bed #these two rlly forced themselves into a “oh no theres only one bed” situation but then had ryuu sleep and live in a wardrobe #what the fuck are locks for 🙄 is there a reason why they wouldnt just lock the door whenever ryuu had to get outta there.. and like. it wou #ldnt even be weird during night right??? idk man.. #shit iforgor to tag them #asoryuu #the almost kiss asoryuu means a lot to me pls appreciate them

[nellasbookplanet]

Okay but I'm going a bit insane about the growing disconnect of "maybe we're meant to harness it"/"maybe we're meant to fight it". They both thought they were on the same page when they said it, when actually they were on polar opposite ends of the same spectrum. Imogen meant "I never plan to give in to this power even if part of me wants to, I will continue fighting it, but it’s a comfort knowing there’s someone who understands the temptation and who I know won't judge and will still love me and understand if I ultimately fail and give in". Meanwhile to Laudna it meant "I've been in this struggle for longer than I can remember and I don’t know if I can do it much longer. I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know if I even should, or if giving in would be better for all of us because I'm a lost cause. You understand this about me and won't judge as I inevitably am doomed by the narrative, and you won't demand of me that I fight an inherent part of myself, even if it’s destroying me". And Imogen is finally catching on to this disconnect, is realizing that to Laudna their connection isn’t just understanding but an excuse, not too different from Lilliana. And, desperate of losing Laudna to power just like she did her mother, she says, 'if you let me go, I'm gone', meanwhile Laudna is going 'all I can do for you is die and let you go to lift you up' and both of them are going 'why are you so upset about this. i love you'.

#laudna #imogen temult #critical role #cr3 #laudna truly is a FASCINATING character #she's happy and living every moment bc she's already accepted she's a lost cause #she's been neither fighting it nor embracing it for 30 years and now she has an excuse to embrace it #bc embracing it means protecting imogen. even if it also means giving in to temptation and letting imogen ultimately lose her #which is okay to laudna bc LOST CAUSE. She’s happy and living every moment with imogen now but can’t imagine a future for them together #she thinks imogen will go in to greatness after laudna has given up everything to help get her there #bc if laudna doesn’t give up everything and tries to fight imogen will help her #and imogen helping her will mean laudna holding imogen back #she doesnt see that in destroying herself shes destroying part of imogen bc she sees no value in her own life bc of living on borrowed time #I'm going insane about them!! #southern gothic #imodna #nella talks cr

[mewtwo24]

Not to be That Guy but like.

Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.

Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s

Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?

Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]

#svsss #tianxi #tianlang jun #su xiyan #like this shit keeps me awake at night #i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just #find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality #zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that #1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO #2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all #or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg #there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him #tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass' #'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing' #like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly #i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life. #i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong? #i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx #because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME #don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss #i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory #ill never forgive the chinese (joke)

[onecricket]

transcript:

"when I was young I was given a box

my mother told me

"it will be safer for you here"

I did my best to fit where I could

now I find that box was never meant for me

it was for her"

#pre-pride poems #pride poems #?? #idk i was on a roll and wanted to post them somewhere #lgbt #i remember clearly as a kid my mom using the box metaphor for me to fit in #thinking out of the box is great its wonderful but you have to learn to live in the box or your life will be so hard for you #jokes on you mom lifes been hard IN THE BOX TOO

[icantdothistodaybruh]

#I'm living my best “make your fav blorbo's life pathetic moment” #but also my “comfort no hurt moment” which I'm not all that proud of- #wanna draw smthg dark&edgy but it's like I'm not in control of what my hands do :( #also just for the record #I redrew Sebastian's hand four fucking times and I still don't like it but no way there's gonna be a fifth one or I'll cry #Ciel's face saves it all though yeah I love him #turned out great on the first try what a legend #kuroshitsuji #black butler #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #sebaciel #my art

[symbologic]

Will Zoro leave Luffy after they achieve their dreams? Not likely

Saying Zoro's gonna voluntarily leave Luffy at the end of OP so he can "live his own life" (i.e. get married, open a dojo, hang out in bars) is so wild to me. That's like saying Luffy's gonna give up adventuring so he can sit around and gorge himself on meat

First of all, it ignores that Zoro genuinely enjoys traveling with Luffy. Luffy (who's always getting into trouble) gives Zoro the chance to be his best self. And Zoro (who very much wants to be his best self) will always seize that chance with both hands

Second, both characters are like...the poster children of wanting to have their cake and eat it too. If you're Luffy or Zoro, you rarely need to make either/or choices. That's what makes them unique. It's why they've both got conqueror's haki! Basically: If Zoro wants to drink until he blacks out? If he wants to nap all day? Hell, if he wants to get lost in a paper bag?? He is like a big cat. He will do what he wants, wherever he is. He doesn't need to leave Luffy to get those things LOL

Third, Luffy's made it clear the Pirate King needs no less than the Greatest Swordsman by his side. Why would that suddenly stop once they've both achieved their dreams? Is Luffy going to quit being Pirate King? Why would he? Luffy wants to be the most free in the world, so he can live the life he wants...with the people he wants to live it with

In other words, Luffy isn't letting Zoro go without a fight — not unless Luffy genuinely feels he's no longer the type of man Zoro would want to travel with. And wouldn't that be the worst ending for both of them?

#monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #one piece #text post #my meta #zolu #tho just kind of?? #keep seeing this take on different platforms and I simply do not understand where it comes from #Whyyyyy would Zoro or Luffy want anything else #when they WORK SO HARD to keep everything they need right beside them? #imo it's very telling that Luffy's response to someone potentially getting married is: #“Great! They can bring their spouse on board!” #I imagine he'd feel the same about children or anything else his crew may want. #Nobody needs to go their separate ways to “live their lives”; not unless the characters' priorities fundamentally change #which happens of course; because people change and that's okay too #AT THE SAME TIME it's so hard to imagine this for characters like Luffy and Zoro #who unapologetically live life on their own terms #are very open about what they want as soon as we meet them #and have ONLY gotten to where they're at because they refuse to make compromises about those things.

[mikakuna]

dc scoring in the 80s by creating a robin with a poverty-stricken home life, addict stepmom, complicated father, followed up by said mom's death and father's jailing causing the kid to be homeless, and overall making a robin who was very relatable to lower class dc fans, simultaneously upgrading their diverse character rep game.... just to turn around and kill off said robin and make the next two robins back to being rich as fuck and having those robins talk the most shit about a dead child who came from the worst streets in gotham.... is just soooo.....

#dc the shit stains you are #not even mentioning how bruce would constantly say he was saving jason from a life of crime #just bc this kid lived in the poorest neighbourhood in gotham #batman is a great man but you can't take away his true upper class roots #the fact that dc did this is just so weird #fine you wanted to kill jason off whatever #but to replace him with a rich kid and then another rich kid #and have those robins be the best to ever serve bruce while jason was the worst #???? #the undertones are so obvious #jason todd #jason peter todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #red robin #robin #dc #damian wayne