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stardew-shitposterino · 6 months

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Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they deal with their secret crush on the farmer

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BEHOOOOLD! I’m kind of back but I’m not because I have a job and feel tired most of the time. I still need to get used to adult life. Anyway, here are the bachelors and how they deal with having a fat crush on you, you cutesy farmer person covered in filth!

Contents might be a bit NSFW so MINORS…you know what not to do *fights them off with a stick*

Enjoy my brainrot 🍓🥰

Sam:

-Sammy is a cute little guy, almost like a dog wagging it’s tail when they see their owner.

-he is SO BAD at hiding it

-he will dream about you two jamming on a big stage together. In his ideal world, you two are a successful duo who make noise rock (kind of like the white stripes minus the weird siblings or married controversy)

-Sam will write songs about you. It’s not intentional per say, and he thinks he really sucks at writing love songs, but it just happens whenever he has to think about you. The words just start flowing.

-he might or might not have had some steamy shower fantasies about you…while in the shower. Jodie keeps complaining about the water bill being unusually high 👀

-yet, Sam is usually not too horny when he is in love with you. He is more gushy and daydreamy than anything

Sebastian:

-homeboy works with nightcore versions of love songs to cope with his longing

-he isn’t the type to show his feelings so openly, so no one really notices his crush on you. Maybe Sam, but well, he is Seb’s best bud. Of course he can tell

-He notices how his sleep has improved since having a crush on you. He willingly goes to bed earlier to have some time to imagine scenarios of you two

-just you and him together on his cool ass motorcycle, driving into the night and ending it with a passionate kiss (sounds familiar?)

-well,,, let’s just say Seb is increasingly horny since having a crush on you. Before, he was almost certain he is some sort of asexual, but nope 😃 he’s healthy and extremely down bad for the filthy farmer who eats raw fish out of the pond 🥰

-what I mean by horny? Uhhh… he didn’t really need to rely on certain websites to satisfy his needs, that’s for sure 👀

Harvey:

-Harvey is a good man. A very good man

-god bless his soul 😫

-Harv isn’t the type to have crushes easily…I can’t believe it either, considering his crush on Maru who is way younger than him 💀

-but in my head, he isn’t the type to be all lovey dovey over someone. That’s why he’s so bad at hiding it. But you don’t really notice. You just suspect it but it could also be his usual anxiety lol

-it happened anyway😎 and he doesn’t know how to cope. At all.

-he has to think about you at all times, especially when he looks at the empty jars of delicious pickles you’ve made him

-This man is usually collected, but now?! He forgets everything, can’t even form a comprehensible sentence at times when his mind is busy thinking about a romantic picknick date with a lovely farmer

-Harvey’s libido is pretty much a dead beat horse 💀 but now he even feels the desire to do some nasty nasty at times. It’s still pretty tame, he’s a gentleman through and through, but wild for him to have those feelings and longings after what feels like decades. He’s not mad at it. He has felt low-key dead inside for so long so this is very exciting and he’s eager to explore this side of him…despite being anxious 😭

Elliott:

-bet your ass he’s the prince of crushes

-he is very dedicated and welcomes those refreshing feelings with a kiss

-feeling better than usual AND having inspiration to write ?! SIGN HIM UP

-he will use every chance he can get to talk to you, maybe even get you drunk (in a non creepy way) because he likes when you’re unapologetically authentic and let loose. It makes him feel more in touch with your soul (or some shit idk I’m not a poet)

-Elliott is NOT SUBTLE

-you practically know from the start that he has the hots for you, but it’s kinda funny seeing him try to pretend it’s not that way…if you can even call that pretending not to be 😭

- his passion doesn’t end at his artistry. This guy will spend a lot of time in his shower thinking about what could be, or sitting at the docks at night just staring at the sea (he’s NOT doing anything nasty in public, peeps. Don’t get it twisted)

-I can also see him recreate a romantic bedroom date he’d love to have with you…but it’s just him 🤷🏼‍♀️ self care king 👑

Shane:

-like Harvey: HE CANNOT COPE!

-he hasn’t felt like this since high school. Every other encounter with potential partners was surface level and only based on sexual satisfaction

-so caring about you, thinking about what makes you happy and how he could be the reason you smile every day, that’s a lot for him

-as stupid as it sounds, he spirals and becomes low-key miserable over it. Give this man a 101 lesson on how to process emotions 😭

-despite the constant anxiety he feels, he low-key enjoys it. It’s kind of hopeless as well as pointless in his honest opinion, but there is this believe, that 0.00001% chance (in his mind) that he could turn his life around and be happy with you, married and maybe have a child of his own one day

-but that’s wishful thinking, riiiiiiight? So what does a self loathing piece of alcoholic man do instead of making a move? Yeah, self pleasure even more than usual, to get at least a bit of serotonin and the willpower to get his shit together, at least for you if it isn’t for him. He’s pretty rough with it too (ouch, unless you’re into that)

-sorry bros but him having a crush is not really all that cute. He’s my cutie pie, but let’s be real: him dealing with those feelings he tried to shut off for so long will be tragic in a way. He’s battling his inner demons here. So yeah… :(

Alex:

-my man, my maaaaan 🥰

-he has earned a soft spot in my heart, bless his soul

-so Alex has a crush on you from the start, it’s basically canon

-can he show his feelings? Yes! Can he do that in a way that can be read as the feelings he tries to get across to you? NO!

-low-key bullying is his love language 🥰

-at least in the beginning. He’s a bit anxious and fears he isn’t good enough for you, so he doesn’t try to be authentic. Being the jock jerk everyone expects him to be gets a reaction out of you and that’s better than nothing, right?

-he’s neither the poetic nor the intellectual type, so he doesn’t process his emotions by writing them down or putting them into words. Just imagine him going about his work-out routine, just thinking about your beautiful smile and rocking bod while sweating like a hog

-Alex and quiet ? Yes that’s possible. I imagine him to go quieter than usual since having a crush on you. He processes everything internally and that takes a lot of time for him as he usually just shrugs off his emotions and doesn’t try to brood too much on them. But now?! He can’t but blush in silence as he just imagines how soft and small your hands must be next to his (yours are way more impressive than his and calloused to the gods, but let him have this moment)

-when it comes to being nasty…Alex is a serial romantic. We know that he probably was the lady’s man back in school so he probably got some action one way or another. In other words, man has the libido of a teen that just hit puberty 💀

-despite being quite horny, he was able to manage to just do it every other day. Now, he cannot even get out of bed in the morning before doing it as you pester his dreams and make his hormones go crazy first thing in the morning…so many nice boxer shorts were lost along the way 🫡

-he also did his own laundry for the first time during that period lmfao

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv shane #sdv bachelors #sdv Alex #sdv Sam #sdv Elliott #sdv Harvey #sdv sebastian #sdv headcanons #stardew valley harvey #stardew valley shane #Stardew valley Sam #stardew valley sebastian #Stardew valley Elliott #Stardew valley Alex

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upsidedownwithsteve · 7 months

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don't know if you're doing it for him but au request for country club!steve and comfort! like reader has to calm or soothe him

Only five seconds seemed to pass between the front door closing and Steve throwing himself down into the armchair across from you with a heavy sigh.

He looked weary, tired, but no less handsome, his suit jacket thrown over the back of the seat and his tie loosened, top three shirt buttons undone. He swiped a hand over his face, rubbed at the corner of his eyes and then met your gaze, his smile tired and soft.

“Hey, honey,” he murmured, looking over at your lounging on the sofa.

“I take it the meeting didn’t go well?” You were gentle in how you spoke, sympathetic.

Steve scoffed, a breath of humourless laughter leaving his lips and he tugged on the ends of his hair, making a mess of it. “That’s an understatement. Mr Laing is tryin’ to play hardball as if this share is worth be chasing it. He’s got Harvey and Paulson talking to me like they’re Wall Street big dogs and I’m just—“ Steve broke off, sighing. “And my dad’s on my ass getting me to close and he won’t fuckin’ listen when I tell him it’s not worth it.”

You pouted, brows knitted together with concern because your boyfriend always lost his cool when his father was involved. So you kicked off the cashmere blanket you’d been using to stay warm and offered a hand to Steve instead. “C’mere, baby,” you cooed. “Lemme help, huh?”

You didn’t know shit about stocks and shares or the inside workings of Mr Laing’s scotch distillery, but you knew how to make Steve feel better.

It didn’t take much coaxing and Steve rose from his slump, crossing the living room to nudge himself between your legs, his shoes kicked off on the rug. He groaned as he lay over your, head resting on your tummy, a pretty, humming noise leaving his lips when your fingers delved into his hair. He rubbed his nose along the cotton of your shirt, just above your belly button and he sighed, much more satisfied than the last one.

It was soft, so incredibly fond, the way you skimmed your fingertips over the planes of his cheekbones, down the bridge of his nose, alone his jaw. You watched his eyes slip shut, lashes fanning over flushed cheeks and you grinned, smoothing his wild hair back from his forehead.

“Have you had dinner?” He asked into the soft of your stomach, his wide hands coming up to coast along your waist.

“Not yet,” you told him. “Was waitin’ on you.”

Another groan, luxurious and loving, a kiss to the space between your breasts. “You’re too fuckin’ cute,” Steve whispered. “Wanna order in?”

“We can do that,” you agreed and you knew then rhat there wouldn’t be any plans for either of you to leave the couch that night - not that you minded. “Someone’s gotta call though.”

Steve shuffled closer, eyes still closed, pouting. “No, no, no.” He found your wrist blind, guided your hand back to his head. “Not yet, keep playin’ with my hair, m’almost cured.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #Steve harrington fanfic #Steve harrington fanfiction #Steve harrington blurb #Steve harrington oneshot #countryclub!steve #Steve baby blurb

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sofiaruelle · 6 months

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Oh wow, I was not expecting a whole drawing of them trying the dance and falling around. It's very beautifully done, I rmmbr just staring in awe for a while at first 🩵

I have another odd question about the she trio/ass gang, which u don't have to draw

Cause I saw a little video of Harvey going hard; dancing to MiseryxCPR(xReese's Puffs) and it had me laughing for a long while, and I wondered who would be the ones singing the song if say the stardrop saloon had some kind of karaoke night

My head tells me both Sam and Abagail would end up doing Reeses's puffs, but that would leave one of the other songs without a host :/

Harvey would probably end up saying stuff about how cpr doesn't require mouth-to-mouth anymore or smthn, and Shane probably worried Marnie would walk in-or just, too drunk off his ass having fun to care 🤔

nah man i just have to draw them. and oh look I even have another essay under readmore! 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

✨Also my commissions are open! ✨ if anyone is interested! :D< please reblog/share the og comm sheet ,if you can! it would help me a lot thank you!!!

Honestly i can imagine them all just being pissed drunk before attempting to sing the song😂. i know fersure the SHE trio would require more liquid courage for it (heck even to join/start a kareoke sesh!)

Shane gives of major Kareoke Tito (uncle) vibes~. Yknow that one tito who specifically sings “My Way” by Frank Sinatra and has a bunch of classic rock songs under his belt. He’s not good at singing perse but he can at least carry a tune. He and Sebastian would totally connect with singing Misery. but like Shane vaguely knows the song (he’s heard it on radio a bajillion times but he doesnt know the name of the song so its not quite on his playlists) so he when he’s super sloshed and can barely read the screen, he tries to sing it from memory and misses a couple of the words. but hey! at least he knows the chorus and is in tune.

Meanwhile Sebastian has Misery “secretly” on his go to playlist. He doesnt admit it (the songs is too main stream and overplayed but he stumbled upon a vocaloid cover and rest is history.) He definitely always chooses the song every kareoke sesh (although not his first choice) and he’s passionate about it even has a little performance too(lots of head bangs, fist pumps and that classic 2000s disney knees bent together, feet wide apart moment)! For his duet with shane he’s the first to shed a lil tear and that gets shane going and they cry through most of the song in their own lil misery world ignoring the chaos around them.

Sam is a fucking menace for singing CPR and I do agree He and Abigail would go off on Reese’s Puff BUT i can definitely imagine being commited to singing CPR (we all know he’d awkwardly twerk). Especially if it was to troll on Harvey who probably thought it was a wholesome song about doing CPR at a specific BPM. 😂

Harvey good lird poor harvey! He’s probably the most sober out of everyone. It doesnt help that he’s no light weight + lowkey becomes designated baby sitter everytime (he’s soooooooo going charge them extra in the morning if they come stumbling into his clinic asking for some hangover cure). He was so excited about adding a new song to CPR tempo list he was gonna teach at the nex first aid classes!! Who would have thought that a singer with a cute wholesome name like Cupcakke was just so… sooooo SCANDALOUS!!! He should have known Sam was up to something the moment he grabbed him by the shoulder!!! “This is medical malpractice, Samson!!!” He spends the whole trying to sush Sam who’s having so much fun laughing at Harvey’s reaction 😂

Abigal. F e r a l.

Help! Elliot has fallen over! He honestly just has a mild peanut allergy but he has been drinking and hooo boi. thats not good. thank goodness Harvey is sobered up (with the help of Sam ofc) and has an epipen on hand! Catch Leah cackling from her seat by the bar before assisting Harvey.

#doodle #stardew valley #stardew valley sebastian #stardew valley sam #stardew valley abigail #stardew valley shane #stardew valley elliot #stardew valley harvey #ass gang #she trio #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #sdv abigail #sdv harvey #sdv shane #sdv elliot #TW: drinking #TW: allergy #good lird this was such chaotic night to remember

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wolflyndraws · 1 month

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Who are Dream and George close friends with in town in the stardew au?

SO here's a loooooong list

Dream would be in good terms with most of the villagers as he grew up there but for more specifics he would be close with:

Willy - father figure, have been learning to fish w him since he was younger Elliot - LOVE to talk about books and writing (they probably attend a town book club or something) Emily - what there not to love about emily dream probably sees her as an older sister or a close friend (she liked to make clothes for dream to try on when they were younger) Marnie - dream helps her with her animals he used to work part time there kinda like a mother figure lol Litearlly all the women in the pilates group - Dream used to attend the pilates group regularly but ever since working w geroge on the farm he only attends sometimes. (for the older people of the town he's seen as a sweetheart that always loves to help around) Evelyn - Helps her a lot w groceries and or garden stuff etc she feels greatful that dream wants to help and dream likes to listen to her talk abou when she was younger Jas & the kids of the town - Dream loves hanging out w the kids they always come up to dream and beg to buy them some ice cream and dream never fails to cave and get them each a cone (he also likes to talk about jas with shane cause jas likes dream shanes like a distant uncle friend but dream still loves him and hope he gets better) Gus - Dream learns to cook and bake with gus every saturday cause he wants to bake and cook more meals for george they bond over their love for cooking

for George, since he's innitially from the city and is like here begrudgingly at the start he doesn't have many friends but slowly gets to know them as dnf slowburn romance happens:

Haley - George's first friend! they bond over how much they miss the city at first but as george gets used to and likes the town haley also feels the same too :3 they always talk gossip about the townsfolk and george comes back home to gossip about it to Dream like local newspaper Pierre - They have a friendly rivalry about the crop competition in the fall fair Harvey - Meets DNF a lot everytime they go to the mines LOL he is the one who witnesses all the DNF gay shit in the hospital of them being cute and flirting cause theyre stuck in bed when healing and thats all they can do Leah - George attends a town painting club thing to learn how to paint so that he can make a present for Dream cause Dream keeps doing all these things for him and this is the least he thinks he can do as gratitude (+ he wanted to participate in some community activities w the villagers to get closer.. making new friends is what dream wanted him to do so...) The wizard - no one knows how or why george is so close to the wizard but they are close and dream finds it interesting

and here are some other relationships!

Leo - George easily befreinds Leo they like to goof around and talk to the parrots but Dream is a bit too tall and broad and it scares him a little so George tries to help. Also Dream's hair looks like a golden walnut so him and his parrots peck it everytime he arrives so he is required to wear a hat everytime he goes to the island

George (the old one) - has beef jokingly(???) with george that they share the same name old george wants to be THE george of stardew valley and is annoyed that another george has entered the ring to be the ultimate george of pelican town

Clint - accidentally thinks that emily and dream are like a thing and has one sided beef with this gay ass man

Other HC is that dream is like a local heartthrob but he falls for this grumpy city boy so some girls still send him anonymous love letters in his mailbox!

#wolfaye’s dnf stardew #dreamblr #gnfblr #404blr #dnfblr #I'll add more if i can think of anything

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babiebom · 1 month

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Stardew Bachelor/ette’s as Mean Girls (2024) characters

A/N: i recently watched the new mean girls musical movie and it wasn’t as bad as people were saying it was. Like the singing and the songs were good, the cast fit their characters(except for Aaron’s actor sorry I feel like they could’ve gotten someone hotter but I do understand where Cady was coming from like he’s cute enough that if you’re in high school and in the same class as him at least one person would have a crush on him.) so like I do with everything I consume let’s stardew-ify it!!

Tw:mentions of bullying, cursing, sex, drugs, lmk if there’s something I missed!!

Bc: at least 4 for each

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Shane

Principal Duvall

Is tired of this shit

And teenage girls lowkey frighten him

Would yell and get everyone’s attention in the hallway bc I think he has the lungs

Would leave it to Leah to take over the assembly lmao

“Tell everyone you’re not a drug pusher PLEASE”

Elliott

Damian

While Elliott and Abigail aren’t really friends

He has the flamboyancy I feel to fit this character

Also it’s canon that all characters are bi so it’s okay for him to be in this role

Would probably have all the tea and would be as dramatic as Damian

“She doesn’t even go here?????”

He just seems bestie type

Alex

Aaron Samuels(is that his last name?)

I think this is as obvious as who Regina is.

I don’t think he’s as smart as Aaron is, BUT is popular enough to make Haley want to have some claim over him.

And is cute enough that new girls will immediately have a crush on him

Would actually be crushed if he got cheated on

Harvey

Kevin

The guy on the mathlete team or whatever it was called

Mostly because he’s smart and I do think he would’ve been in some nerdy ass club as a kid

Also at high school college point I do think he would’ve gone through a slightly edgy phase of being a nerd that talks about getting bitches all the time

Would want Maru on the team

Leah

Ms.Norbury

Because I think it’s funny

Like out of all of them Leah would be the one to be called a drug pusher

Like I personally think she smokes weed or eats like weed salads or something

And personally I think she’s above all of the drama of mean girls

Would gather everyone and be like WTF is wrong with y’all we are better than this.

Emily

Karen

Now don’t get me wrong Emily isn’t as dumb as Karen at all

BUT they both have this daydream-y airheadedness about them

And I don’t mean airhead as in stupid either, just more….in outer space than other people if you know what I mean

Like always in their own head

Don’t care about what others think to an extent

If you think about it she fits kinda

Somehow finds herself in the drama even though she’s just been daydreaming this entire time

Maru

Cady Herron

Listen I don’t think Maru would have the balls to do what Cady did

But they both are insanely smart and I can see Maru falling in love with any boy in her class that gives her attention

Would tell someone they aren’t as smart as they thought they were while drunk

She is in calculust yall

Penny

Gretchen Wieners

In the movie Gretchen is very insecure and just wants to be the best friend she can be even if it’s by helping Regina bully others

And at some point turns on Regina because she’s had enough

And is quiet enough to be overlooked as the pretty friend of the popular one

Meek and accepting like Gretchen is

Literally just wants to fit in

Abigail

Janis

I went between her and Leah for this but I think Abigail fits this role more

I think it’s more about style Janis always has a punk rock look about her and Abigail is emo/goth/punk

And while she isn’t autistic I think she is more likely to be called a pyro-Les than Leah is.

Abigail is just the right amount of unhinged to be Janis

Haley

Regina George

Come on this was the most obvious thing about this list

Like actually blonde, gives off bully vibes

Would take over a school and is probably rich.

Would be an absolute bitch and be mean to people then throw a fit when it turns around on her.

Tell me who “world burn” and “introducing the plastics” fits more. I’ll wait.

Unfortunately there aren’t enough characters so Seb and Sam don’t get anyone to themselves but I think both have the energy to fit both Aaron and Damian. Like both are total cuties that anyone would have a crush on even though seb is intimidating and introverted. And both I feel like would have the sass and bestie vibes of Damian so both could be both oof

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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ooo bruharvey meet cute in prison (which, yeah, that's pretty much what arkham is)" mayhaps.

Like, carmine killed maroni, framed Bruce to get him out of the picture, and now Bruce is rooming with a dangerous sexy - uh, scary, inmate who has a grudge cause HE was supposed to kill maroni damn it

Harvey Dent... Rings familiarly. Bruce being a trouble magnet and Harvey having to keep him out while slamming him on his bed

(that used to be Harvey's, mind you) and gripping his jaw and saying he'll happily trade poor little rich orphan Bruce wayne for some privileges.

Except Bruce totally reverses that and has Harvey in a thigh lock?? Uh. Yeah. He loves a guy that can kick his ass

" I don't want to hurt you, Harvey. You need help and compassion and you found neither here. But if I'm going to help, I'll need assistance. "

I need Harvey to surrender. Tap a strangely strong hip as a sign he forfeits, and Bruce's reflexes are so damn quick. " Fine. Tell me why you killed maroni."

" I didn't. I'd be in jail if I did. Even money wouldn't get me out of that. Not if carmine didn't want it. But I'm starting to think maroni isn't dead at all."

Bruce poses his theory well. Harvey's an attorney, -- was. Was. He looks for loopholes and slips and mistakes, and Bruce's net doesn't have any.

" That's all nice and dandy, but you're makin' life here a helluva lot harder. Mouthin' off at guards, beatin' em, showin' off, - it ain't how it works. Not here."

" I'm protecting myself!"

" that don't matter, dollface, cause here's a bitter lesson: it ain't. About. You. You don't survive out here by yourself. I've got Harvey. Harvey has me. You? Have 2 more weeks here till your pretty ass is getting jumped and shanked. 3, if they're feelin' nice."

"... what do you propose?"

" I propose. That I look after you. And when you get out, you get me out of here."

But that's not important. What's important is Bruce getting manhandled around.

Ugh, please. With Bruce pressed cheek first to the wall of their cell, trapped under Harvey's bulk (he def checks him out when he works out in the yard) with Harvey holding him tight and demanding answers

One thing leading to another and Bruce snarling " I don't need big bad harv to look after me"

But he's looking at Harvey's lips and face, and just wants to give Harv all nice things.

#ugh them.#harvey dent #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #bruharvey #twobats #text #text post #this is just pwp

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pastrydragon · 6 days

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Can I ask for general relationship fluff hcs with your favorite Batman rogues?

How about some PDA headcanons?

Riddler

Will literally take time during his crime broadcasts to brag about his SO.

If they’re willing to play “Lovely Assistant” during his show he’ll even give them a quick kiss on camera if they do something he thinks is particularly cute.

Edward will dispense romantic compliments, hugs and kisses to his SO anytime anywhere.

Emphasis on romantic.

He’s kind of uncomfortable with sexual PDA, suggestive flirting and subtle touches are nice but anything too obvious will upset him.

He prefers to keep the details of his sex life private and enjoys being the only one who gets to see his SO that way.

Scarecrow

I wouldn’t go so far as to call Jonathan an exhibitionist but he definitely appreciates his SO giving him affection in front of others.

While few and far between, John has had some romantic relationships, but none of those people ever wanted to be with him publicly.

It was always “Too soon” “Unprofessional” or worst of all, “Embarrassing”

So when his current SO gives him a long kiss on the mouth in front of his friends he practically turns to goo.

He gets a little thrill when his partner gives him a kiss on the neck or grope on the ass in public.

Not because people are watching, but because it means SO thinks he’s desirable and is proud to be with him, it gives a sense of permanence to the relationship in his mind.

Mad Hatter

Most of the time Jervis prefers to keep his affections low key in public.

Unless of course he feels like someone is giving his SO unwanted attention. (Certainly unwanted by him at any rate.)

Jervis doesn’t like to admit it but he can be a tad possessive.

Preferably he’ll take a seat in SO’s lap and start kissing them on the cheeks and fiddling with their shirt collar.

The man is a menace and isn’t above salacious promises to get his SO to go home early with him if the source of unwanted attention won’t take a damn hint.

Alternatively he could simply hypnotize the unwanted attention into walking away(and off a short pier.) if his SO is openly annoyed at the unwanted attention.

Penguin

The only person on this list that refrains from too much PDA out of a sense of propriety.

Possessiveness, personal insecurity and a general preference for privacy are all reasons he understands perfectly well, but he’s mostly interested in retaining a certain kind of image.

He’s a man of class, charm and elegance.

He actively avoids crass displays and only engages in purely romantic interactions with SO while in public.

A light peck on the cheek or cooed compliment are both common displays from him.

He does enjoy showing his partner off to friends and associates just like any other prideful bird, but never in a a vulgar way.

Two Face

Harvey is a possessive bastard.

He does NOT like people leering at his lover for any amount of time.

Even if it’s because they’re being affectionate with him.

Harvey is the kind of boyfriend that rents private rooms at restaurants so he can hit on his date in peace.

It’s honestly a bit silly.

Harley

Harley wouldn’t know “modest” if it bit her on the booty shorts.

She’ll make out with her date in a public park at 2pm.

And it’s 50/50 whether she keeps it completely above the belt.

This women will say depraved shit that belongs buried in the depths of 2010 wattpad to her SO while in hearing distance of 20 different people.

No hesitation no regret.

She doesn’t even get off on it she just genuinely doesn’t care who hears, it’s honestly kind of impressive.

Catwomen

EVIL.

She’s not doing this for the pleasure of the act itself she’s doing this to torture SO specifically.

Selina will slide her fingernails from the top of SO’s spine and into their back pocket for a squeeze while no one is looking.

She’ll whisper everything she’s going to do to them later while no ones listening.

Then she’ll slip inside jokes about it into the conversations she’s having with other people just to fuck around with them further.

Finally, she’ll disappear into the night in the shadow of her broken promises… Until she shows up at SO’s house an hour later.

Poison Ivy

Very similar to Harley in lack of fucks to give.

She should be able to freely show her SO affection regardless of who’s there.

And woe to those who disagree with her.

Any complaints about her being “inappropriate” will be met with a handful of hay fever to the face.

And any cat calling or wolf whistling will be met with a garden pot full of death to the everywhere.

Music Meister

This man will go as far as his partner lets him, he’s pretty much done away with the concept of “socially acceptable behavior” since becoming a supervillain.

He was never a fan of that jazz anyway.

Besides the most extreme reaction he gets from fellow rogues to his shenanigans is to be told to “Get a room!” By Oswald.

Everyone else generally just rolls their eyes or teases him.

So besides outright having sex in front of someone he’s up for anything!

And hey, if it was the right person watching, Something could probably be arranged~

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tarrenterror25 · 14 days

Note

Do you think Harvey and Harv have different approaches to romance?

Absolutely!

For Harvey, he has a more modest and gentlemanly approach to romance. He's definitely old school so he likes to do things like cook with you, dance in the living room with you, go out on cute dates, and cuddle with you.

Harv is a lot more bold and playful. He definitely pinches/smacks your ass when he can. He may not show interest in everything you do, but he likes being near you so he'll suck it up. Harv is not wine and roses, but more like whiskey and pizza.

Harvey is gentle with you, soft touches like brushing your hair behind your ear, hugs, arm around your shoulders and Harv is not so subtle with his hand on your thigh while he drives or when you're sitting next to each other, taking hold of your chin to make you look at him whether gently or firmly, and his arm around your waist.

For date night, Harvey is arranging everything ahead of time whereas Harv is a make it up as he goes.

In the early stages of your relationship, both will be at war with what to do with you, both afraid and overthinking about what you are okay with or what you would like from them. Just be patient with them, they're trying their best 🥺💕

#harvey dent x reader #two-face x reader #harvey dent headcanons #two-face headcanons #gotham rogues #gotham rogues headcanons #harvey dent #two-face

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foolish-edworm · 5 months

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okay wait bc i wanna infodump about my stardew valley character experience :)

so i've had the same save file for at least four years now, so this is a journey. but first-- my first sdv file was on my phone before i got it on steam (the four year one) so that's how i experienced everything.

when i first played, the second i met george i loved the man. i saw how grumpy he was and i said "im gonna make this old man be my best friend."

then, on emily's birthday, i gave her a gift, but i didn't know it was her birthday yet. her face when she accepted the gift was so cute i immediately fell in love with her, and then she was the only bachelor i ever pursued lmao.

now, four years later, i've realized that if i never gave emily that accidental birthday gift, i probably would've ended up marrying elliot or harvey. now, in-game, elliot was one of my first friends, bc i spent a lot of time at the beach fishing (i love willy too btw) so i love his spirit-the-horse lookin ass. but lately, as ive matured (LMAO), and also as ive made more friends in sdv, ive really grown attached to harvey (he looks like every man i get gender envy from lmao). it's his big cow eyes that i can't resist.

oh also i haven't mentioned that i love linus and i give him berries every time i walk by him, and when i got the tea heart event from caroline i fell in love w her too (i wish i could steal her from pierre, but alas..)

anyway that's my experience lmao. i think in my other saves ill try the other bachelors, but emily will always reign supreme (beside maybe harvey)

#the worm speaks #stardew valley #sdv bachelors #harvey stardew valley #elliot stardew valley #emily stardew valley #george stardew valley #we need more love for george and evelyn honestly #linus stardew valley #willy stardew valley #caroline stardew valley #uhhh long post from me y'all #sdv

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beansprean · 2 years

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Finally finished WWDITS lmao. Speaking as a lesbian, Harvey Guillen has a super cute face and an ass that won’t quit and he can Get It.

ID in alt and under cut bc too damn much

1a. Shoulders up of human neighbor Sean in a disheveled tux from the casino episode, holding a glass of beer and squinting drunkenly past the viewer. He says, "Ey, where's the little guy, y'know, Nandor's boyfriend?" 1b. Reverse shot of Laszlo and Nadja slumped exhaustedly over the bar, barely comprehending the conversation. Nadja looks all but comatose and Laszlo blearily replies, "who?" Looking behind them, an exhausted Nandor has a brief moment of lucidity and snaps his eyes open. "My WHAT?"

2a. Guillermo drinks stoically from a coffee mug while talking to Derek the vampire. Derek, wearing a magicians cloak and tophat, remarks, "Oh, did your master get you that mug?" Guillermo grunts in response and Derek notes "how nice." 2b. Close up on a mildly irritated Guillermo doing a talking head, holding the mug which we can now see says "world's best familiar." He says "I got this for myself as a 5th anniversary present. Nandor got me a vacuum." 2c. Small flashback of 2012 showing a younger Guillermo with longer hair desperately scrubbing a bloody floor with a shitty push broom that is missing half it's bristles. Offscreen, present day Guillermo continues, "Admittedly, it's a lot better than the broom they had before."

3a. Full body of Laszlo and Nandor from the end of the witch semen episode, standing facing each other in front of a door. Stone-faced, Nandor offers, "want to jerk each other off and never talk about it?" Laszlo, equally unemotional, replies "absolutely." 3b. Later, a talking head of Laszlo and Nadja on a couch. With a satisfied smile, fingers laced in front of him, Laszlo announces to the camera "Nandor and I jerked each other off." Nadja, one arm around the back of the couch behind her husband, smirks with pride.

4. Full body of Guillermo leaning sassily against a wall, one hip cocked, eyebrows raised with a pout. He is wearing sparkly high top sneakers, white knee socks with a red stripe, red booty shorts, and a white tee shirt with three checked boxes reading 'petty' 'jealous' and 'bitch'. Text above him reads 'tfw your master's ex is in town.'

5. Bust of Guillermo in a waistcoat and collared shirt, smiling adorably as he is wont to do with yellow stars floating around his head.

6a. Doodle of Guillermo in exaggerated shortness holding hands with Nandor, who is in exaggerated tallness and wearing a full length dracula cape with a furry collar. Guillermo, smiling, gestures to Nandor with a heart floating by his face and says "Mami, este es mi novio, Nandor." (In English: momma, this is my boyfriend Nandor.) Nandor, waving with his free hand, grins and says "Helloooo, Mrs. Greenber-" Guillermo corrects him "de la Cruz." Nandor continues awkwardly "Deeh la Crooz."

6b. Talking head with Guillermo's mom, looking exasperated. She says, "es el primer tiempo mi Memo trae a su novio en casa...y creo que él es un vampiro. Dios mio, mijo." (In English: it's the first time my Memo has brought his boyfriend home...and I think he's a vampire. Dear God, son.)

7. Close up of Guillermo in a waistcoat and shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He is spattered liberally with blood and is brandishing a well-used stake with one gloved hand. Nadja stands behind him with a manic grin, both hands planted on his shoulders as if pushing him forward. She says, "Gizmo, you are so sexy right now! Kill them!" Guillermo, trying to stay focused in slayer mode, glances back at her with some confusion, squeaking out an "um?"

8. Full body of Laszlo dramatically dipping Nadja, both arms around her waist, while salaciously baring his fangs with a grin. Nadja is smiling widely in delight, baring her fangs back at him with one hand gripping his shoulder and the other thrown over his back. She has one leg extended to the ground and the other hiked up around Laszlo's waist. Hearts float around their heads. In the background, there is a tiny doodle of Colin Robinson coming into the room holding a steaming mug that says "island time" with a palm tree. He smiles at the couple in his usual casual, ill-timed way and says "hey guys, what's up?"

/end ID]

#WWDITS #what we do in the shadows #nandermo #laszlo x nandor #laszlo x nadja #laszdor #laszja #mlm #my art #fanart #everyone has exceptions #mine include Harvey Richard armitage but only dressed as thorin and rahul kohli WITH facial hair #any spanish mistakes are my own i am not fluent and im sure i put the wrong accent mark on mami but its too late now lmao

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object-yaoi · 20 days

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my beloved harvey (space heater) just kinda died on me. his death was dramatic and loud and it suited his bratty ass perfectly. you will be missed, sweet boy. 💕💕

look at how cute he is. he preferred the floor but i have snuggled him a few times. one last kiss for the boy <3 for now, anyway.

#i can still smell the burning smell he made in my room #os/or #object death #<- ??? idk #objectum #hes a sweet one #i kinda knew it was coming. he'll be missed. maybe I'll keep him to look in him and see what's going on in there. hmm #my beeping

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hellishattempt · 1 year

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angst superache songs as relationships with the batboys pt 3

this is the final part of the three !! i decided to try my hand at writing something for bruce and duke, even though both are like,,,, unknown quantities of the dcu. i mean, i know bruce, obviously. i own every batman game / movie and this big ass book on the batman. but duke? duke is a foreign language to me. and i speak a LOT of languages. so bear with me on this.

like before, this is gender neutral reader / no pronouns used <3

you can find part one ( dick + jason ) here & part two ( tim and damian ) here !

footnote - bruce wayne. the billionaire, philanthropist playboy is many things to many people, but to you, he's your childhood friend, and business partner. as the ceos of wayne enterprises and inkling incorporation, the two of you have worked closely, especially as bruce decided to step into his role more. having known bruce for so long, you know all about his public persona. he's a playboy, with extravagant and foreign women on his arm every night, and it's never the same woman. you're close enough with alfred to know all about bruce's "sleepovers". but you'd be lying if you said you didn't have feelings for bruce. it's stupid, you know this, to be in love with someone like bruce wayne. tonight, the two of you are hosting a gala for one of the charities you both fund. and tonight, you've had just a little bit too much to drink. "evening, brucie" you slur slightly, a glass of champagne between your lips. bruce was in the middle of what looked like an intense conversation with lucius fox, a friend and owner of foxteca. bruce looked to you, noticing your drunken state, and apologized to lucius. "we'll have to continue this later," then he turns to you. grabbing you just above the elbow, bruce rushes the two of you to a more private corner of the venue. "are- are you drunk?" he sounds incredulous. "i've never seen you drunk before. you need to sober up." bruce reaches to take the glass from your hands. as he does, you lean in and whisper into his ear "i like you, brucie." a giggle escapes from your lips. bruce's face is serious and stern. "sober. up. now's not the time for lies and jokes." you frown. "but why would i lie, when it's so clear that i'm in love with you?" a tense conversation follows. bruce likes someone else. you say, "if i waited, would that maybe help?" but bruce says patience won't change how he felt. someone calls out to bruce and he's gone in a second, his public mask back on. you're left standing alone. you leave the party silently. on monday, you're sober and yourself again. you play off your confession as a joke and blame it on the alcohol when bruce comes to check in on you. pretending you don't feel anything is easier than him thinking of you as some lovesick girl. you have to stop being pretentious and loathing your friendship with bruce. it's okay, because this taught you a lesson: love isn't precious. it's not like the novels, no pride and prejudice at all. so you'll just take the footnote in his life. he could take your body, your soul, your mind, everything from you. every line that you write for him will never be read or enjoyed, so a footnote will do. bruce, being ever the charmer and gentleman he is, asked to take you to dinner, to make sure you were really okay. friday night, exactly a week from the gala, you and bruce have a restaurant at gotham's own vigilantes and villains, a five star restaurant built by harvey dent after he was reintroduced to society. it's the only restaurant that will cater to civilians, vigilantes and the villains of arkham. harvey said he built it so he didn't have to feel so torn between his personalities. as you and bruce are sat your table, the host says she thinks you two are cute. they think you're a couple, so they buy you some booze. you two share the moscato, and laughed cause it's true to you. and you'd be embarrassed of you weren't so pleased that everyone else sees what bruce will never see. you're perfect together, but you'll never be the one. this teaches you another lesson: feelings are reckless. just like the novels, side characters end up alone. in bruce's story, you are no more than a side character. so a footnote will have to do.

jigsaw - duke thomas. duke is so in love with you, it's obvious. he wants nothing more than to be the object of your love. if changing his clothes would mean you like him more, if changing his hair would make you care, he'd grab the kitchen scissors and cut himself to slivers for you. if being polite kept you satisfied, if being less insane would make you stay, then he'd be more like his adoptive sisters, saying "thank you ma'am and mister," to you, for you. as much as you adore his affection and idolization of you, your feelings for him aren't like that. he's your brother, your best friend. he's the only one of the waynes that you feel like you can really trust, who understands what it's like to be the odd one out of the family. signal and psycho are partners in crime fighting, just as tight knit as duke and you are when the masks are off. you notice his changes, and it doesn't mean much to you. all people mature in different ways, so what does it matter that duke is molding himself to be your ideal partner? he's changed every part of himself, until the puzzle pieces aren't him at all. it's ruined your friendship, and it's ruining him. your relationship is on thin ice, and you pretend not to know it. you like the new duke. he's perfect. little do you know, duke looks in the mirror, and all he sees is a jigsaw. you take every part of him, all the things you need. then the rest. you discard. you make him into something he's not. you don't realize it, but you're the one who's made this version of him. it's like duke is your frankenstein's monster, and you're the crazy doctor. you don't notice this. or maybe you do, but just choose not to care. but duke's family notices it. dick, jason, tim, steph, cass, even damian. they all see the changes you've made. they see what you're doing to their brother, how you're damaging him. it hurts them to see him hurt. "all you're doing to make her happy? and still, she doesn't fucking love you?" tim prods. "you're killing parts of yourself to fit her, thomas." damian adds. to that, jason scoffs. "it's clear as shit you're not the issue." dick takes a seat next to duke, gently draping an arm over his brother's shoulders. "if you made her like you, would you even like yourself?" duke's mind is racing. he doesn't want to believe their words. he knows it's true, though, he just doesn't want to accept it. "pointing out all my flaws doesn't help. i'm fine," he bites out. standing, duke pushes out of the circle his brothers have formed around him, not looking steph or cass in the eyes as he storms past them. slamming the door to his room, duke basically falls into his bed, clutching his soft pillows close to his body. his phone buzzes with an instagram notification from you. you've just posted a new dump of pictures of you and duke. "shoutout to my favorite person and my best friend @duke_thomas_wayne!" he swipes through the post, photo after photo, reading through the comments when he's done. everybody thinks you're a couple. that's all that duke wants. yelling out in frustration, he throws his phone across the room. "why don't you love me?" he cries, fingers gripping the roots of his hair and pulling hard. duke thomas is nothing more than a jigsaw of your creation. but that's okay with him, because you love this version of duke. so he'll change every part of himself just to make you happy, even if it ruins him.

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tonycamonte · 5 months

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my mom mean streets commentary

- wowww harvey keitel is so young……. cute!

- who is THAT! (robert de niro) nooo. that’s not him. he’s too tall to be robert de niro…… maybe he was more… svelte then……..

- oh she’s cute too. woah! boobs! (diane)

- i know a lot of guys like this. boy! lots of people are like johnny, you know.

- all that trouble just for twenty dollars? and this movie is so bad…. they could go clubbing or something (SHE SHOULDVE BEEN AT THE CLUB)

- are they ever going to explain what a mook is?

- robert de niro’s haircut is so cute. he could be a mod…. (<- my mother the 52 yr old mod 4 life always on the lookout. she could fix him)

- oh my god. i would rather die than live in new york. can you just imagine that. (her brother lives in nyc lol)

- look at the five o’clock shadow on that guy… (tony)

- do italians really listen to music like this? young people, i mean. even my mom didn’t listen to music like this (get his ass mom)

- GUH-ROSS! (@ charlie’s dream)

- oh i see what’s going on here… verryyy cheeky!

final verdict halfway thru (she has to go to bed): WOW! this is Weird!

#maybe he was more svelte………………..#mean streets #<- sorry for putting this in the main tag gamers it’s 4 organization 😢#✉️

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just-a-farmer · 9 months

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Broken Hearted People

Harvey x farmer

Alex x farmer

Summary : Dean was running from her problems - she knew she was. But did it really matter when she finally found herself surrounded by people who cared? However with small town care came an intimacy with others she wasn't sure she could handle.

Alex isn't very complicated. He liked gridball and joking around. He may be exactly what she needed right now.

But that doesn't stop her from dreaming of the sad eyes of the town doctor.

Chapter One : can’t wait to be home again

The bus sputtered to a depressing stop - still a bit over two miles from her destination. She was the only one left on, no one heading this far out. Well, no one but her.

“Last stop, miss.” The bus driver drawled and she huffed a quiet ‘thank you’ she deboarded the rickety vessel.

“No shit,” She looked around her, a trash can on its side, a dilapidated little bench - and not a house in site. Well, no turning back now she thought to herself. Not that turning back had ever really been an option. That was sort of the point of running away from your problems.

The walk was peaceful, and breathtaking; both metaphorically and literally - she was sweating her ass off. It started to help her clear her mind, and she closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel the sun basking on her. Finally, a small clearing came into her focus around a little bend in the broken cobblestone road. There was no bench at this stop. And she only knew it was a stop due to the post - a bus sign sitting on the ground propped against it. Besides that it was cute, a few trees sprinkled in the small clearing, a wood post fence encompassing the area.

“Abbie!” A voice called and she winced at the old knick-name. It was something she hadn’t heard in a decade. A stout older man, with a permanently furrowed brow was beelining it from the path, gesturing for her wildly. Mayor Lewis. Behind him a pretty but stern auburn hair woman followed, at her own pace, she noted, smirking internally.

“Hello,” She greeted awkwardly, coming to the opening in the fence, “I go by Dean, now.” She corrected him, catching a brief deepening of his scowl, “If, you please. How are you, Mayor Lewis? It’s been years.” She continued quickly before he had time to let his mood sour.

She remembered him from summers visiting her grandpa at his farm. Dean knew he loved Stardew Valley dearly, but beyond that? He tolerated very little else. Her grandpa had been one of those few things. And yet, she had many memories of him scolding her and the other towns children for various shenanigans. That was the last time she saw him. Just before her twelfth birthday - the last time she visited her grandpa.

“Of course.” He nodded curtly, gesturing for her to walk in the opposite direction from where he had come. The stern ginger had caught up to the pair at this point, frowning.

“Least you could do is introduce us, Lewis.” She made a small ‘hrp’ following the statement. Dean remembered her, albeit vaguely, and she was secretly thankful the woman had insisted.

“Robin, this is Dean, Dean this is Robin - the town’s carpenter-” It clicked.

“You spent practically a week at the farm that one summer,” She smiled widely, “The roof was leaking and it was a summer storm. Pa insisted you just toss down some buckets but you fixed it.” Dean gushed before she could really stop herself. She remembered that moment vividly, seeing a woman so strong, both in attitude and determination - it had enthralled a little seven year old Aberdeen. Robin smiled gently and nodded.

“Aye, it was quite the storm, and always my pleasure to help - your grandfather was a good man.” Dean’s smile tightened slightly at the words but she nodded eagerly.

“Can we please go?” Mayor Lewis cut in, false pleasantries (what little he had) forgotten as he tapped his foot annoyed. Robin looked at Dean, both of them poorly suppressing a smirk before following the man towards her grandpa’s old farm.

Old indeed. Mayor Lewis gave her the key, explained how a few things worked, guided by Robin when he would say something incorrect, and then they were gone. And she was alone.

It didn’t matter how small and broken down the structure was that evening, because when her head hit the pillow - not even the scent of mothballs could keep her up. The day was long. Arriving at the farm midafternoon left her little daylight - but still she had managed to clear a patch right in front of her deck big enough to plant the parsnip seeds Lewis had generously gifted her. “A gift from the valley,” He said. After hoeing and planting and watering she was basically dead on her feet. Sleep came easy. No overthinking, no panic, no anything. She didn’t even have time to consider it.

Dean awoke the next morning on her own, before the sun had even fully risen. She took the morning to unpack the humble two bags she had brought. An old backpack and a duffle. It was better that way - she didn’t want any of her old things anyways. She couldn’t be surrounded by the past.

She found her phone and her charger, plugging it in. Not that she had any missed calls or texts to look forward to - she’d changed her number.

Water, clear more debris, town, home. Home. This was home now. She had her plan for the day and a small spring in her step as she stepped out onto the porch, breathing in deep. Her lungs felt bigger out here. Fuck, she hadn’t even craved a cigarette since getting here! Well... Okay, so now she had. Revised plan - smoke, water, clear more debris, town, home !

The cigarette was much needed. The watering went quickly, and rather painless, besides a few spots where she may have overwatered the seeds. And the clearing more debris had been borderline agonizing. Dean’s hands were blistered and she’d barely made headway. “Fuck this,” She huffed, dropped her tools and walked to the water spigot on the side of the house. She rinsed her hands best she could before setting out towards the old general store she remembered as a kid.

A bell rang above her head as she pushed the door open - it was different, and to be fair so was she. The candy counter towards the front was gone now. Replaced by newspapers and one of two cheesy tabloids. She knew there was a metaphor there but was too tired to dwell on it for too long.

“Abbie!” Pierre greeted cheerfully, “By Yoba it’s really you!” She smiled kindly at the man, coming towards the counter.

“Hello Pierre,” She replied, still glancing up the aisles as she approached. It was empty and a bit scarce. “Please, I prefer Dean now,”

“Good.” You glanced over your shoulder to where the voice has come from, down one of the short aisles - how could you have missed her. Even with the purple hair she was so completely Abigail. “I always secretly hated sharing a nickname,” Her playful smile was infectious.

“It wasn’t a secret, Abby” You joked back. Dean was excited to finally see someone she had played with all those years ago. She always liked Abigail, the girl was smart and quick and always up to some sort of trouble. As an anxious child, Dean had always been grateful for the other girl's ability to drag her into the strangest situations. Like being caught reading books in the cemetery by Lewis. She smiled fondly at the memory to herself.

“I have to go now,” Abigail spoke, apologetically, before something occurred to her and her eyes lit up, “Are you busy? I was just going to hang out with Seb and Sam. You don’t know Sam, he moved after you stopped coming. But you remember Seb!” It was Dean’s turn to be apologetic.

“I remember of course.” She assured, “But I was just coming to buy some stuff for the farm - I still have an insane amount of work today. I promise to really catch up soon,”

“We better,” She grinned again before bouncing past Dean and towards the exit, “Bye Dean, bye dad!” And she was gone. Dean smiled to herself through the rest of her time in Pierre’s. She was lost in thought. She’d worried. Really worried about getting here and the deep loneliness she had felt not going away. That she would just be lonely but on a farm. Sad but on a farm. But in the twenty four hours since she got here, it felt foolish to think, she didn’t feel so lonely.

“Pardon me,” Dean had been so lost in her thoughts she wasn’t watching where she was going when she exited the store and made a quick turn. She immediately crashed into someone dropping her bags, causing the other to stumble slightly, equally surprised.

“Oh! No, I’m so sorry,” Dean gushed, dropping to gather her things, a deep blush taking over her cheeks.

“Please,” The someone she crashed into knelt beside her, gathering some of the seed packets, “Allow me,” Dean looked up and felt her blush deepen slightly before she busied herself again with stuffing farm supplies and some groceries back into her bag.

“I wasn’t paying attention,” She admitted, risking a glance up at the handsome someone she crashed into. His mouth tugged slightly at the corner.

“Neither was I,” He admitted back, as if they were conspiring, she chuckled, allowing him to help her up after he had stood, accepting the bag he handed back to her.

“I’m Dean.” Thankfully she felt her blush migrate to her ears, burning below her hair - attempting to exude a confidence she didn’t have. He was older than she was, maybe his early 30s, wearing a dark green jacket that must’ve been warm in the spring sun. He had soft eyes, kind and sad, and messy light brown hair.

“Harvey,” He introduced himself, offering you his hand before remembering they were full of bags - he quickly withdrew it, his own blush taking over. “Doctor Harvey,” He continued, gesturing over his shoulder nervously, “This is my clinic. I’m the town doctor.” Dean smiled openly and his blush grew.

“Nice to meet you, Doctor Harvey.” She liked the way his blush deepened when he said her name. “I gotta run, but it was nice meeting you.” She smiled, taking a few steps in the direction of her farm, before turning to him once more, “I hope to run into you again, a little less literally.” He blushed and she grinned. She liked this. A man openly flustered by her presence. It made her feel pretty.

“Yes. Yes, me too!” He assured quickly, “Bye!” Before quickly disappearing into Pierre’s. There was a little more bounce in Dean’s step on her walk home. Sure the happy mood was quickly ruined by more weed pulling and rock breaking. That night she bathed under the moonlight with a bucket of water and a washcloth. She played some music on her phone and closed her eyes, feeling so very alive for the first time in a long time.

#sdv farmer #stardew fanfic #stardew valley x farmer #harvey stardew valley #sdv harvey x farmer #sdv harvey x reader #stardew valley #stardew oc #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley harvey x farmer #stardew valley harvey #sdv alex #sdv alex x farmer #sdv alex x reader #stardew valley alex #stardew valley alex x reader #stardew valley alex x farmer

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babiebom · 9 months

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Would I give them head?

A/N: I am so sorry for this I'm writing it at 3 am and I couldn't get it out of my head. I've been giggling for the past 10 minutes like a 7th grader. Also if you are reading this let me know if I should do something special for 50 followers. I know it's not a lot but I am so grateful! If yes let me know what I should do!

Tw: sexual content. Not explicit but it like look at the title. Cursing.

Genre: headcanons nsfw

Wc: idk it depends on which person. Probably 2+ for each.

This is including almost every male stardew character(obviously no kids) plus ridgeside plus expanded but not all because I cannot remember every single character and I don't wanna research rn.

Masterlist

Sebastian

Duh no doubt about it

He is the love of my life (well one of them)

I would give him the best head wymmmmm

Sam

Yes boy deserves it

Golden retriever coded guys deserve good head idc

Shane

Love sad men it's a yes

Kinda wanna make him cry because it's so good.

Maybe I can cure him

Elliott

Sorry it's not that I dislike him he's just not my favorite?

Maybe once as a treat but no other time than that

Harvey

Yeah he's the doctor for a small town

I gotta

Maybe he will stop billing me everytime I die

Alex

I am not attracted to this man he is more bestie coded to me

If he asked i would allow him a handjob I guess

Gus

Nope

Maybe he gets a Lil handjob as a treat because his food is good

Gunther

Maybe?

He kinda-

But not enough idk....

George

The reason I am writing this r n

The answer is no but the thought of doing it made me cackle

Lewis

Absolutely not

Fuck you old man

Pierre

I hate this lying ass bitch I give you a kick

Willy

No sorry

He prolly smells like fish and salt and I am not fond

Love him tho stinky man

Kent

YES

would give him the sloppiest toppy known to man

He deserves it he needs it i want it pls bless me

I could beat Jodi's ass if it comes to it idc

Victor

Yes

I find him quite cute overlooking his slight classism.

Also for standing up to his mom for himself love that him

Demetrius

I'd rather give Robin head

He deserves no head for being crappy stepdad

Marlon

As much as I like him he probably does not shower

Also he is for the marnie's only

Clint

I wanna punch him so bad

Mr Qi

Maybe?

I don't find him attractive

But at the same time I find him mysterious and the might just be enough to convince me

Grandpa

HAAAAAAA

no what is wrong with you

Andy

Prolly tastes like battery acid

He also gives off racist vibes

Wizard

Yeah

He's chill he can get some head

Morris

Maybe for a discount

Im equating Joja to Coke and I like coke

So only if he promises to give me a discount on stuff I want

Phillip

YES

Another love of my life

It was unexpected for me to love him but he is so cute to me

June

Yuperoni pepperoni

We love a man who is talented

Could easily convince me to give him head if he plays the piano for me ngl

Jeric

Maybe

I love but also hate him

He also gives off bestie vibes

Shiro

Yeah

I feel like he needs it:(

Ezekiel

I do however wanna smack his bald head

Not in a mean hateful kid of way I just wanna smack it

Lorenzo

Dilf Ngl

Maybe its because of his name idk

Answer is yes

Kimpoi

It was here where I started looking up characters bc i felt bad for leaving them out

No thank you I will not

Lance

Don't know much about him but I think hes cute so yes

His hair is cool

Isaac

Again don't know much about him hopefully he is not a child

But yeah he's cute so he gets a Lil head from me

Ian

If he takes a shower yes

Otherwise no

Kenneth

Yeah

I like his hair and I think he's cool for being an electrician

I know nothing else about him

Sean

Yeah he's cute so he can have some head

Im so sorry for not knowing im too busy simping over Seb and Phillip ngl

Anton

Uhhhhhh

Uhhhhhhhhhmaybe?

Im not attracted but unattracted to him so sure

Bryle

He reminds me of family

Like his face

Jio

Yea

As I have said before I love a mysterious man

Love a man with a sword

Zayne

I have no idea what this is

But I guess??

Have no reason to hate him so sure

Bert

He looks stinky :((

I also feel like his wife would beat my ass

Freddie

He is for the Lola's only

I also feel like he wouldn't be able to feel it

Mr Aguar

I do not enjoy his face

Pika

Simply because im assuming his food is good

I'll say sure simply for free food

Richard

So sorry

But no

Sonny

I will give him a platonic handjob

He deserves it bc he's a butler and probably does not get a day off with this family

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