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nuzzle · 4 months

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I hope you don't mind if I ask a question I'm a noobie in egl and jfashion in general and I was wondering if it's ok to purchase replicas that are permanently discontinued or from defunct brand's? I don't want to support replicas but a lot of my dream items are very overpriced on the aftermarket :'(

it's no problem at all! apologies for my answer being quite long, i have a lot of thoughts on this.

depending on who you ask, the answer to this question will almost always differ. the whole replica debate has been quite controversial for a long time. what you decide to do is ultimately up to you and your beliefs. given that you're new to the fashion, it would be best to give yourself time to form your own opinion. i'm not trying to dissuade you with my answer or seem impartial, so i would like to remind you that you're completely free to disagree or do your own research! with that being said, i'm open to explaining what i personally think about it and why i hold the opinion that i do.. but first, some initial context and history on replicas:

if you comb through old discussions on blogs and on livejournal in the early 2000s, replicas were a lot more common with less stigma surrounding them compared to now. you could chalk this up to a number of reasons: comm members being young at the time, japanese brands not being nearly as accessible as they are now, sales platforms being underdeveloped without all of the rules we know today being in place yet, and for the same reason that there were a lot of general unrelated misunderstandings of the fashion itself back then, ignorance. it understandably takes a lot of time to research certain topics, especially with the existing language barrier and the fashion still being rather new to a majority the west at the time.

the general consensus on replicas has changed, or rather, evolved since then. to give a fair warning, a decent amount of replicas are often frowned upon within the community. that's not to say all replicas are, or that the community operates as a hivemind, because others will disagree with this sentiment. rather than there being an existing black and white answer i could provide you with, it's more so determined on a case by case basis. there are varying levels of what's deemed acceptable versus unacceptable, depending on a combination of some specifics of the item itself and who you ask. most people tend to go by the standards of the FAQ of lacemarket—the largest and currently most commonly used EGL sales platform—which (reluctantly) allows design replicas of nonprint dresses and accessories like bags and shoes, but disallows replicas of dresses with prints, brand-created mascots and characters, or any brand name logos. this portion of the FAQ was borrowed by the illegal replica item guidelines first written and enforced in 2012 by the moderators and admin of the original secondhand EGL sales platform predating LM—egl_comm_sales on livejournal. from what i remember, these were initially instated due to legal threats from AP.

they're both linked for you to check them out yourself, but to give a short explanation: design replicas that aren't copyrightable are not illegal to sell. both guidelines have been determined by what is considered legal or illegal under US/Japan's copyright laws.

a couple of lolita brands, namely ones that retail in the US and that can afford a lawyer to assist them through the process, do have trademarks registered here.

(1 / 2 / 3)

i don't support most replicas personally, and don't own any myself. that's not to shame others for doing so, it's simply a matter of personal opinion. i do think replicas are more "convenient" so to say, when it comes to availability, affordability and sizing for many.. but it's important to consider that this convenience is made available at the expense of the designers and the company itself. when it comes down to it, i strongly believe it's art theft.

many have justified replicas by citing that certain brands are "large enough" for it to not matter, and that it's only hurtful to "indie brands" but are heavily overestimating the size of said "big" brands to begin with. despite brands being largely known and considered "big" within lolita, i find even the biggest examples to be miniscule outside of the subculture itself. lolita brands are considered to be "luxury fashion," but that's specifically within lolita. when compared to near universally known large corporation designer luxury brands that also get replicated, take Chanel or Gucci for example, they are different in many ways. brands like Angelic Pretty and Baby are very well known strictly in terms of the lolita community.. as the biggest brands that exist, really. but to put it into perspective: when we leave this already very niche sphere of fashion, a typical person on the street is very unlikely to recognize or know of either of these brands, but very likely to know the popular "normie" luxury brands. when comparing profits, number of clothing articles and accessories produced, or even the number of employees behind these operations—they're in completely different leagues. AP and BTSSB make, give or take if i had to loosely estimate, somewhere between 100~200 of each release. according to what (limited information) could be obtained through public records, each are reported to have about 60~68 employees. purely taking these as estimation references rather than exact numbers due to it being quarterly report data. so where does this leave the rest of lesser known lolita brands if these two are at the top? the numbers on all counts would (assumingly) be even lower.

(1 / 2)

i do think replicas are hurtful to the fashion/hobby itself due to how niche the hobby is and small the community is. realistically, there isn't a plethora of endless brands we have to choose from. it's important to show support to the brands we do have available to us to keep them up and running and to not take them for granted. brands, especially ones running on a smaller scale, come and go throughout the years. many of them discontinue due to lack of sales. i find that funneling money to producers of replicas doesn't always take away money from these brands, for example: it wouldn't necessarily directly impact a release that isn't currently being sold, or a defunct brand as the one you mentioned. however, almost everything is available secondhand with patience.. and if at a higher price, waiting for a different listing of it, budgeting, saving, or sometimes even negotiating a hold or a payment plan with the seller are all options. there's always a question of, "if i'm buying something secondhand, the brand isn't directly getting my money anyway.. the seller of the dress is. so why does it matter?" but buying brands secondhand also supports brands. any money that isn't going towards replicas that harm brands is still helping, even if indirectly. buying replicas does financially support the production and the practice of making them, and other replicas they may be making that could be harming active brands and designers. this includes websites that advertise their replicas as originals and scam the unknowing.

plus, for what it's worth: it helps to imagine yourself in the shoes of the designer. i always think that if i created a design or had drawn something original that i was proud of, and if it were stolen and reproduced for someone else's profit, i'd be pretty upset about it. if i love a design enough to want to buy it, i would not want to offend or harm the individual who made it. for some of us, they're just products or clothes. but a lot of these were once, or still are, the designer's dream or passion.. a soulful creative project made out of love and made with a lot of effort. replicas are like thieves of originality and of this inspiration, in a way.

i believe avoiding replicas is not only ethical, but it lends to the existence and longevity of the fashion as we know it (a slow fashion, not a fast one.) i love the fashion and subculture and will always choose to support the brands we have while we still have them, both directly and indirectly.

#asks #lolita replicas #lolita fashion #egl #baby the stars shine bright #btssb #angelic pretty

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turtle-paced · 3 years

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A:tLA Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

Well, not quite on the long weekend, but here’s the recap anyway.

Book 1, Chapter 6 - Imprisoned

(0:55) Previously, on Avatar, the Water Tribes know what it’s like to be stuck at the ass end of the world slowly dying, but Katara’s hope is actually inspiring and she and Sokka found the Avatar for a reason. It’s going to be a Katara-centric episode. The group is still heading to the North Pole, while Zuko continues chasing them.

(1:45) We’re out of the snow! It’s still winter (seeing as the next episode is titled ‘The Winter Solstice’), but yeah. No snow. At the very least, this area’s warm enough that snow isn’t an all-winter condition.

(2:02) This is what I mean by the show bringing up supplies when they’re an issue. Note that Sokka doesn’t actually know what any of these nuts are. He hasn’t spent enough time in the Earth Kingdom to know what’s edible.

(2:48) The character contrast in two nutshells. Aang and Katara run towards the loud booming noises in the forest, Sokka advises hanging back (but goes with the majority). Then, when they find Haru, Aang and Katara want to make friends, but Sokka says he looks dangerous so they should be cautious. It’s a joke, mostly at Sokka’s expense, but it’s also consistent characterisation that helps give Sokka an important role in the team even when he’s outshone by ridiculous amounts in the direct combat department. He thinks very differently in some ways to his sister and his friends. This is sometimes unhelpful and sometimes downright necessary for the characters collectively to succeed. Today is an unhelpful day.

(2:56) Upon seeing Katara, the practicing earthbender drops everything and runs, going so far as to block pursuit. No questions, no chances, just immediate flight. Weird reaction, hey?

(3:06) Aang says that Haru must be running somewhere. Like a village. Which should have a market. Like I said back in episode one, every main character is smart. Showing it in these tiny, low-stakes, incidental conversations makes it believeable when they do big, dramatic smart things.

(3:21) Pan over this Earth Kingdom village. It’s pretty different to Kyoshi Island, and honestly looks a fair bit more prosperous. Earthbending means this village has got a very neat-looking mine and that building a wall around town isn’t a big deal. Interestingly, most building here are made of wood, or at least significantly involve wood in their construction (lintels, structural beams, doors, floors, I think even the rooftops).

(3:40) We get Haru’s name here as Katara spots him and follows him into his mother’s store.

(3:55) As soon as Aang says ‘earthbending’, Haru’s mother slams the doors and windows closed. Until now, the gAang has only travelled in free territory. Scared, paranoid territory, but free territory. This episode is a quick and brutal look at life in an occupied Earth Kingdom village. There’s a lot of fear here.

(4:09) Right on cue, Fire Nation soldiers drop by. The taxes they’re collecting are extortionate and their schedule for payment is arbitrary. The occupying force is taking financially and using this as a terror tactic. This becomes more explicit as the soldier says “we wouldn’t want an accident, would we?” and creates a fireball in his hands.

(4:58) Love the worldbuilding on this show. Why’s the Fire Nation here? Sokka asks, and Haru’s mother has an answer. Turns out all those coal-fired ships the Fire Nation uses? They need coal. The village is being exploited for its natural resources, too.

(5:09) Katara asks why Haru doesn’t help fight back, as he so clearly wants to. Especially since it means not bending, which she says is part of who she is. Haru’s mother explains that Haru would be arrested and taken from the village for earthbending (hold on to the information that the walls and mine are clearly products of earthbending), just like Haru’s father was. So let’s add some deeply personal and cultural oppression to the list of things going on here.

It’s also a tough lesson that resisting the Fire Nation in places like this isn’t as simple as saying “fight back.” There are serious risks involved.

(5:43) More panning over Earth Kingdom scenery. Vegetable patches and a silo can be seen. Little visual touches to remind the viewer that these background characters were in this place before the story arrived there, and will continue on offscreen once the story leaves. It helps make the world feel real.

(6:08) Katara and Haru go off and bond. Katara apologises for accidentally bringing up any hurt related to Haru’s father, ‘cause she’s a good, considerate person.

(6:18) Haru tells Katara how brave his father was to resist the Fire Nation invasion, against what odds. After which Haru’s father was taken away, and his family haven’t seen him since. The only way Haru can feel close to his father is by practicing earthbending, which also puts him in danger.

The entire backstory here gets into the big issues - invasion, mass internment, cultural oppression - by linking it with the much smaller slice of life. Just Haru, missing his father.

(6:48) Katara gives the exposition on her necklace, the last memento she has of her mother. The conversation leaves off pretty brutally as well. “It’s not enough, is it?” “No.” And that’s it. There’s only acknowledgement of their mutual pains, not closure. There’s not enough. There’s a hole there that cannot be filled.

(7:05) As Katara and Haru head back, they pass the mine collapsing. What happens when an earthbender-produced mine has to operate without earthbenders? It seems very likely to me that earthbending is a major part of mining safety and maintenance in Avatar world, and the removal of earthbenders from town would logically result in more mine collapses and accidents.

(7:32) Haru bravely earthbends to rescue the old man from the mine collapse.

(7:59) One of the really nice things about Aang? He’s impressed by Katara’s accomplishments, even one as small as inspiring Haru to his own little rebellion.

(8:12) Sokka brings up that point from back in 1.04 that if they hang around a village (especially an occupied village) they’re going to be in trouble. They have to keep moving. Continuity! Learning the lessons of previous episodes!

(8:41) Fire Nation soldiers show up in the dead of night to arrest Haru for earthbending, on the information of the old Earth Kingdom man Haru saved. Informants and midnight arrests - it’s a freaking scary depiction of life under occupation. Not to mention the moral texture it brings to the series. The Fire Nation is inarguably wrong and oppressive. But that doesn’t make the people of the Earth Kingdom saints. Individuals have a range of responses to the Fire Nation, and here we see it’s up to and including willing collaboration with their oppressors. We’re never going to see this old man again. He never gets any on-screen comeuppance. He never gets told he was wrong. This is just a lesson for the main characters.

The show’s worked up to this idea, with the hostility of the Kyoshi Islanders and Bumi placing the gAang under arrest. Now it’s serious. The characters can’t assume that Earth Kingdom people will be on their side.

And this ultimately leads up to the point that this conflict isn’t about one nation being inherently bad and the others being inherently good.

(8:56) Love to see some mundane uses of bending - in this case, Katara doesn’t bother actually pumping water, she just yanks it out of the pump.

(9:23) And a nice thing about Sokka - when he sees Katara is upset, he moves to comfort her physically. However, also notice what Sokka actually says. Part of his idea of comforting Katara is working on solutions to the external problem, working out what happened and what they might be able to do about it. It’s very pragmatic and not very touchy-feely. While it comes with the best of intentions, and Katara doesn’t even have to ask for Sokka’s support and assistance, you can see where Katara might want a friend who’s a little more emotionally supportive. Different people fill different roles.

(9:31) But on to the main event! Katara’s got a plan to break Haru out of Fire Nation prison. Thus far Katara’s been strong and capable, and particularly impressive in how she’s dealt with a grief-stricken Aang. This marks her first opportunity to take up the foremost heroic role in an episode. She’s making the plans, she’s driving the action, she’s saving the day. It starts with her getting arrested for earthbending.

(9:49) A team plan! Katara had the basic idea of using airbending to simulate earthbending, but it looks to me like Sokka did the actual engineering of finding the vents that connect, while Aang’s going to be doing the actual bending. This is also a classic example of how Sokka’s character development is going to go over the course of the series and the reason he’s such an important part of the team. He puts the details into the big ideas.

(9:55) And here’s Aang’s fun-loving, lighthearted nature shown as a flaw rather than a virtue (in a fairly comedic, low-ish stakes kind of way) before the serious long-term implications become most apparent in season three. He’s goofing off and not taking responsibility for his part in this plan. Later, when Aang doesn’t want to find a firebending teacher and doesn’t want to think about how he’s planning to deal with Ozai, that’s perfectly believeable. We’ve seen him skip out on small details, so we can believe Aang would skip out on the big ones.

Furthermore, in character and plot terms, the character trait that’s a minor hiccup in the plan this episode causes serious problems later, and yet remains an important strength in other episodes (and across those episodes in how Aang actually keeps moving forward). There’s nuance there in Aang’s character, and nuance in the plots that recognise that things aren’t usually as simple as ‘this character trait good, that character trait bad’.

(10:18) This entire scene gives me the giggles so bad, starting with this Fire Nation soldier’s bemused reaction. Earthbending style.

(11:17) The group exchanges a bunch of anxious looks. Despite the comic nature of the faked fight, they did just arrange for Katara to get arrested by the Fire Nation and hauled off to a prison for dissidents. This is serious stuff.

(11:30) Cut to a port, and Katara on a boat. Nobody seems surprised that the prison is offshore.

(12:15) Cameo from George Takei here, hamming it up.

(12:41) The faux affability of the welcoming is shown by the Warden’s willingness to use fire on a prisoner when the prisoner simply coughs. Followed by condemning the man to a week of solitary imprisonment. Also worth noting that the Warden is completely unfazed by the presence of a young teenager amongst the prisoners.

(13:05) The Warden helpfully points out that the rig is made entirely of metal, which earthbenders cannot affect with their powers. (At this point in the series.) It brings a pretty significant limitation of earthbending to the table in a series set just as their world’s industrial revolution is going global.

It’s also a good indication of how hard imprisoning a bender is. This rig must be absolutely brutal to live on, for the guards as well as the prisoners. It couldn’t have been cheap to build, either. I’ll come back to the topic of criminal justice and bending ability later in the series, but for now just keep in mind that prison for benders a) requires cruel conditions and b) is logistically burdensome to say the least.

(13:16) The Warden also describes earthbending as ‘brutish savagery’, so here’s some fire supremacy for you all! Again, the big thing - the Fire Nation taking over the world and thinking that’s okay - is reflected in the little thing, a Fire Nation character casually dismisssing any worth in earthbending (when we just a few minutes ago heard Haru speak about how important it was to his family bonds).

(13:47) Katara looks over the prisoners and sees a lot of people in absolute despair. Keep an eye out for female prisoners. I keep raising this background detail thing because it tells you how the writers and animators are thinking about the “normal” state of the world.

(13:52) A nice touch from a design standpoint is that Haru is about the only person wearing a deep, living green, rather than the prisoner brown/grey/very dried-out green combination.

(14:11) Haru did at least succeed in finding his father, Tyro.

(14:29) This exchange does nicely to set up Tyro as a kind individual whose sense of humour has not been totally eradicated by the situation he’s in.

(14:52) Tyro tells Katara that there’s no escape plan, only a survival plan.

(14:58) There are some female prisoners in this shot! Which is evidence of female earthbenders, even though we still don’t see very many in the rest of the series.

(15:14) Much like in town, Katara is reminded that things aren’t necessarily so simple as “fight back”. She’s talking to people who have been dealing with the Fire Nation, unsuccessfully, for years. What does fighting back look like to these people, after all this time? What do they stand to lose?

(15:21) I do love this exchange. Tyro says, “I’m sorry, but we’re powerless,” and Katara replies, “We’ll see about that.” What she wants and what she aims to achieve is to give the prisoners here their power back. She’s trying to help them to help themselves. Even though this speech doesn’t work. Very eloquent for an impromptu speech, too.

(16:44) Aang and Sokka arrive to provide backup.

(17:01) Katara refuses to leave the prison until she’s accomplished her objective. She emphasises that it’s the people she’s not giving up on. For all her character development over the series, this trait stays exactly the same, arguably the very core of her character.

(17:30) We get the split in group opinion again. Katara and Aang want to stay and help, Sokka wants to leave. Outvoted, and aware that he’s not going to overcome Katara’s stubbornness on this point, Sokka says they’d better hide.

(17:48) Two guards report an Appa sighting to the Warden. This is actually a really good drawback to the convenience of having a flying bison, narratively - he’s just not all that inconspicuous.

(18:06) The Warden throws a man overboard for questioning whether the difference between a flying bison or a flying buffalo is all that pertinent. Love this show. I’m also getting serious “do the tides command this ship?” vibe. Only less competent. Though the Warden does have the competence to get the core point that there’s something amiss, and orders a full search of the rig.

(18:42) Aang wishes he knew how to make a hurricane, because then the Warden would run away and the party could just take his keys. Now this is what people mean when they call Aang naive. Note that this wishful thinking from Aang doesn’t involve direct confrontation with the Warden. He wants the problem to go away. It’s not an issue with Aang’s intellect, it’s an issue with Aang’s psychology.

(18:53) Sokka wants to give the earthbenders some literal power. Some literal substance they can bend so that they can free themselves.

(19:08) It’s Aang who points out that earthbenders are able to bend coal, and the Fire Nation keeps coal on the rig. Naive, not stupid!

(19:22) Like I said, Sokka doesn’t often lead the way or deal with the party’s biggest ideas, but he is absolutely unmatched when it comes to making their goals into workable plans. As Katara asks Sokka “are you sure this is going to work?” we can be sure that the details here were Sokka’s doing. Moreover, he’s applied knowledge of vents he picked up earlier in the episode.

It’s also worth noting that Sokka was against staying to rescue the earthbenders and still put his all into coming up with a plan once he was outvoted. He works with Katara and Aang in good faith so that the disagreement doesn’t wreck their teamwork.

(20:02) Once again, Aang provides the muscle as he airbends some staggering quantities of coal onto the deck.

(20:22) Again, quite realistically, the earthbenders are hesitant to take the opportunity Katara’s just provided. The Warden underlines the point that it’s Katara’s inspirational words versus years of oppression and despair. Sure, that is the problem here. Katara tries, and she’s mocked by the villain for trying.

(20:59) But as the lump of coal crashes into the back of the Warden’s head, the show says that Katara was right and the Warden was wrong. Katara’s faith was not misplaced and her words and actions did make a difference here. Even if it sounded silly to start with.

(21:09) Love that the coal actually ignites when hit by fireblasts.

(21:25) Yes, we did see a female earthbender prisoner fighting back there! And I’m still pretty sure that this is one of the vanishingly few occasions we’ll see female earthbenders active in the background of the series.

(21:57) The earthbenders prioritise getting off the rig.

(22:05) Here’s Katara again. This is the first we see her actively participating in this skirmish. She hasn’t actually done much fighting - the point here was always what she could do to empower others to fight. She’s still got her necklace at this point. Notice also Aang’s creative use of airbending to propel small pieces of coal at the Fire Nation soldiers.

(22:33) The earthbenders steal a Fire Nation ship and head back to the mainland. Katara’s lost her necklace in this shot. Haru and Tyro spell out the effect of Katara’s actions.

(23:04) Tyro declares his intention to take back all their villages, which tells us that the prisoners were not from just one place. They must have been brought in from several towns and villages in the general area. Looks like the gAang’s leaving some insurgents behind them, right in Ozai’s coal supply.

(23:26) Haru thanks Katara for her help with that small thing of returning his dad for him, and wishes he could do the same for her. She also realises that she’s lost her mother’s necklace at this point.

(23:35) And who should pick it up but Zuko, who we haven’t seen for almost two whole episodes. Presumably he’s followed a report of Avatar-based shenanigans, and he’s got real sharp eyes to pick out the one Water Tribe thing in all this.

#a:tla #fine toothed comb edition

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bookofmirth · 3 years

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im currently reading acosf for the second time after flying through it on my fist read. it’s definitely interesting having read the bonus chapters also, and i must admit that there seems to be a lot pointing towards elain and azriel having some sort of attraction to each other. however I think it’s worth noting that during the winster solstice celebration, at the hewn city ball, Cassian states ‘he knew the cruelty of the hewn city troubled her’ Azriel role in the inner circle is literally to torture people. I know there is more to his character, but we know this is a role he thrives in and finds pleasure from - his perpetual ‘icy rage’ as mentioned in the bonus scene. and also that in regards to her outfit ‘no matter how much she claimed to be apart of this court... it suckled the life from her.’ Yes I realise this is regards to her attire, but I feel it is also telling about her place in the night court - or rather, her lack of it. In comparison, Nesta ( and also Feyre ) come into their own in these situations, in these outfits - they belong completely, and as a result belong in this court completely. For Elain, it drains the life out of her - and for Elain, the gardener, who embodies sunshine and life and growth - I think this is important. And is a reason why she doesn’t belong in the night court, and by extension Azriel. ( also the Pearl combs in her hair mirror the Pearl earrings Lucien gifted her ? ) I may be reading into this too intensely, but it really stood out to me on the reread. :)

Az and Elain are definitely attracted to one another. Denying that would be ridiculous.

However, attraction doesn’t have to mean anything, in terms of what happens in canon. Feyre is constantly thinking about how beautiful/hot everyone around her is, how manly Cassian and Az and Rhys all are, etc. but it’s not like it means anything. Nesta fantasized about banging Az and Cassian at the same time. Does that mean Nesta and Az are endgame?

You pointed out a lot of reasons why it doesn’t make sense long-term. Elain seems out of place in the CoN, while Az could be its poster child. It does go deeper than her clothing, because she wasn’t just trying to dress like they do in the CoN, she was trying to play a part too, one that, as you mentioned, Nesta and Feyre were able to do successfully. Elain just... isn’t like that. We know that she’s really, really good at putting on a blank smiling face, but she wasn’t able to pretend to fit into that darkness.

You also mentioned cruelty being troubling to Elain, while Az’s cruelty was emphasized in this book (and since acomaf). I didn’t notice the pearl thing but!!!!

And it’s not just about darkness or cruelty. Feyre has never been cruel. She single-handedly saved her family from starvation and continues to support them to this day. But when Feyre first went to the CoN, she blended in seamlessly. Even though she wasn’t like those people, she was able to make herself a part of that world in order to play a role. Feyre was made to perfectly fit in that line between dreams and nightmares, and if anything, Az leans more towards the nightmares than the dreams aspect of the NC.

I think ultimately, Elain won’t live in the Night Court. It’s just not who she is, similar to how Nesta being a High Lady or having some kind of political role is just not who she is.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #a court of silver flames #a court of silver flames spoilers #anti elriel #might as well tag it that #elucien #ask #anon

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catherdrashepard · 3 years

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Red Rising/Persona

I’m a huge fan of the Persona series and pretty much anything Atlus has done. I am ALSO a huge fan of Red Rising (blame that on @hyena-frog) So, the natural conclusion is that I should determine which Persona the main RR POV characters would have. As well as a couple extras. Pictures will be included with credit to the artist when applicable. Please let me know if I forget to credit someone. (https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_Persona_5_Royal_Personas) Here is the website I’m using. Spoilers for the first three books and probably a little of Iron Gold. Also a spoiler for the Faith Confidante in Persona 5: Royal. Avoid the Lysander paragraph if you want none of that. Disclaimer: I have not finished Dark Age yet so some of my thoughts might be lacking complete information.

Darrow: The main characters of the Persona series always start with a Persona from the Fool arcana. It doesn’t necessarily stay that way depending on the players personal preference. That being said, Darrow does fit the Fool arcana very well. It’s considered to be the beginning arcana or one without a number. It represents innocence, divine inspiration, madness, freedom, spontaneity, inexperience, chaos and creativity. These traits I think describe Darrow pretty accurately, especially in the first two books. Considering the story revolves around his journey, it makes sense to label him as a character of beginnings. Persona-wise, I think the one that fits Red Rising and Golden Son Darrow would be Satanael. This Persona is basically the equivalent to Lucifer, the angel who led a rebellion against God. But also that isn’t all that Darrow is. I also think the Death arcana is fitting for him, from Morning Star and beyond. Death is an arcana roughly in the middle of the tarot deck and it’s one that represents metamorphosis and change. Literal interpretation aside, Darrow experiences a change in himself after his capture at the end of Golden Son and his rescue in Morning Star. Not to mention, his entire purpose for becoming a Gold in the first place was to provoke a change in the current system of government. For his Death Persona, I would give him Thanatos. Because he’s my favourite, but also he’s considered the harbinger of death. Perfect for the Reaper. I don’t think Darrow completely loses Satanael in favour of Thanatos; I could definitely see him using both depending on the circumstance.

Virginia/Mustang: By Persona standards, because Mustang is Darrow’s main love interest, she would be the Lovers arcana. However, and this was incredibly difficult because she could really fit more acana, I think she could be both the Judgement and the Empress arcana. The Judgement arcana, I feel, fits her Sovereign persona (ha). It’s associated with a deep understanding of life, a balance of light and darkness, and characters who are well-aware, and intelligent. Not that this doesn’t fit her in her private life as well, but it seems more prevalent in her dealings as the Sovereign. The second arcana is the Empress. This one is more associated with mothers and women of authority. As we saw in the first trilogy, she went to great lengths to protect her family, i.e., working for Octavia, being with Cassius, the whole incident in Lykos. Choosing her Persona is tricky, mostly because Personas can shift arcana depending which game they are pulled from. I think the one to go with is Astarte. This is more of a feeling rather than definitive “proof”. She is identified as the goddess of war, hunting, love, sex, horses and possibly the morning star; her symbols are thought to be the lion, panther, and an eight pointed star. This is also the ultimate Persona of Haru in Persona 5, who awakens her initial Persona in defiance of her father and his corruption, which also feels apt. That being said, Astarte is from the Empress arcana and I could not find a Judgement arcana Persona that I felt fit her well enough.

Credit for the picture of Astarte to: Machia McMadlass on Amino

Sevro: Sevro was very easy to choose a Persona for. One in particular stood out to me. I think Sevro could fit both the Fool arcana and the Devil arcana. I think the aspects of the Fool that Sevro embodies are the madness, freedom, spontaneity, and creativity. The Devil arcana represents the urge to do selfish, impulsive, violent things. However, it also can represent a healthy bond and commitment. Sevro is a wild card from the beginning, killing Priam in the first book being a prime example. Both he and Darrow were very unexpected successes in the Institute. This is something that also describes the protagonists in the Persona games as well. They all just kind of show up out of nowhere and completely shift the paradigm, especially in Personas 3&5. As for the Devil arcana, Sevro reminds me of the Devil confidante in Persona 5. Their goals are not the same, but both characters are very focused on what they want and make every effort to push through despite any obstacles in the way. As for the Persona, the one I chose was sort of picked for superficial reasons; Bugbear. Its name comes from the Celtic word bugs which means evil spirit or goblin. It’s also considered to be something of a boogeyman, a creature that lurked in the woods to scare children. Also, it’s essentially a stuffed bear filled with skulls, which seems to fit Sevro’s weird tastes.

Victra: With Victra, one arcana stuck out in my mind immediately, the Chariot. This arcana represents victory, conquest, self-assertion, self-confidence, control, war, and command. When first introduced to Victra, she does seem very sure of herself and what she wants. She strikes me as a shoot first and ask questions later type, which is something she has in common with the video game characters who share this arcana. Like Sevro, she could also fit the Devil arcana, especially during certain events in Dark Age that she pursues very single-mindedly. Although, I would say Victra is more Devil leaning than Sevro. As for the Persona, I think Pazuzu would fit her style pretty well. What really struck me as fitting Victra was the description of Pazuzu as an evil spirit that drives away other evil spirits, and protects humans from plagues and misfortunes. Also, despite trying to stick with the arcana placements of Persona 5 Royal, I think it’s worth noting that Pazuzu was summoned by a character in Devil Survivor who seeks revenge for death of a loved one.

Cassius: While perusing the arcana descriptions, the one for the Lovers immediately reminded me of Cassius. The Lovers is usually reserved for the “canon” love interest in the games, barring player preferences. However, Dassius jokes aside, what really made me think Cassius is that this arcana symbolises two paths a life could lead to and, standing at a crossroad and needing to make a decision. I think this describes Cassius’ personal journey throughout the books to a T, especially in the climax of Morning Star where he makes the decision to join Darrow in taking out Aja and Octavia. The other arcana that Cassius would be is the Star. This arcana is said to represent hope, self-confidence, faith, altruism, luck, generosity, peace and joy. I feel like self-confidence, faith, and altruism fit pre-end of Morning Star Cassius very well. He was considered the pinnacle of Golds and I think, at least until he learned what was actually going on, that’s all he wanted to be. The game characters with this arcana are teachers or mentors to the protagonist. Characters that are very good at what they do and offer some form of training. A sort of outlier to this is Teddie, from Persona 4. While he does have more experience than the main character dealing with the enemy (both Cassius and Teddie are part of the group the protagonist fights against), Teddie doesn’t take a combative role until later in the game. This is only possible because Rise, who replaces him as support, makes him question his identity or the “real” him. This is very similar to what happens to Cassius in the first three books. Darrow becomes what Cassius thought himself to be and it causes Cassius to question who he really is. Although, unlike Teddie, I think Cassius chose to heavily lean into being the perfect Gold specimen until the end of Morning Star, where he makes a choice to be the “real” Cassius. As for the Persona, I could easily see him with Sraosha, who represents the highest virtue of humanity, obedience to and submission to Divine Law. I think his motivations for using this Persona would change, however. I imagine at first, he would use it to keep the Society functioning how it always does. But, after Morning Star, I bet it would shift to be more about protecting his own ideals and the submission aspect would relate to Cassius’ personal morals and sense of justice.

Lysander: I really wanted to avoid using the arcana that are not present in a standard deck, and added for a specific game. However, one of the arcana that stood out to me for Lysander is the Faith arcana. This arcana symbolises, in the positive, belief in others and in oneself. Negatively, it represents blind faith misplaced in something that does not deserve trust. From what I understand of Lysander’s story, his personal journey seems to mirror that of the game character who shares his arcana. It is revealed later that she is a fake, and her memories were overwritten by another character. I have not finished Dark Age as of writing this but, I am under the strong impression that Lysander has been brainwashed and that some of his memories have been replaced or erased entirely. And while he does have some misgivings about the Society, I believe he is blind to how fucked up it really is. But it also holds potential for Lysander to overcome this indoctrination. I had a bit of trouble with what the second arcana would be but, I think the Moon fits Lysander pretty well. You could say he’s a….Moonie. But in all seriousness, the description that struck me as Lysander-esque was "They often tend to have trouble accepting themselves for who they are and, because of that fear, try to correspond to an ideal person. And like the arcana, there is a hidden depth as to why they act in their behaviours." Lysander was definitely sheltered and isolated, by both Octavia and Cassius (he tried his best). And perhaps by Atalantia to some degree. He is a fed a narrative and doesn’t really get a chance to analyse his own perceptions and why they may be incorrect. The characters of the Moon arcana in the game often struggle internally with themselves which, to be honest, is a trait most of the POV characters have. But what I think Lysander lacks in that case, is self-awareness. As for the Persona, I ended up going with Cendrillon. This Persona is based on Cinderella, which is a little different from some of the other ones. As much as I like to make fun of Lysander for his poor choices, it’s hard not to see him as a victim. I don’t necessarily think he’s a hero or that he’s entitled to the kind of happy ending Cinderella gets. However, I do feel that, like the fairy tale princess, some of his circumstances were as a result of situations that were out of his control. Also, a line really stuck with me from the initial awakening for the Persona that really made me think Lysander; “Well, if those really are the shoes you've chosen... Then we'll dance to the end.”

Ephraim: Ephraim suffers a lot throughout the books, and I feel like that reflects heavily on what arcana he is. I think the first one that fits him well is the Tower arcana, which is associated with a fall from grace. His story reminds me a lot of the Tower social link character in Persona 3. Both Ephraim and the game character lose their family and turn to substance abuse to numb the pain. People of the Tower arcana seems to suffer a lot of internal pain which they fail to cope with healthily and thus turn to less savoury means until and outside force steps in to help steer them in a better direction. The other arcana I believe fits him well is the Hanged Man. What makes me think Ehpraim is that the appearance of the Hanged Man can be seen as advice to take the time to reflect over one's upcoming actions, which is something I think he needs to learn how to do. They can also be self-sacrificial and are often notable for being stuck between two different stages of life. Also, much like the Tower arcana characters, their journey seems to revolve around some kind of loss that they are failing to cope with. As for the Persona….this was a bit tricky. I have a few I like but one comes with a bit reluctance because of how it plays into the plot of Persona 4 and how it would reflect on Ephraim’s character. But, my gut is telling me that Magatsu-Izanagi is the way to go. What is making me think of Ephraim when I see it is the symbolism behind this Persona. It represents emptiness, impulsiveness, poor judgement, obsession and frivolity. There are also some similarities between Ephraim and the character who wields this Persona in Persona 4. They both exhibit little tact and seem to be playing some sort of game with the other characters. However, Adachi (Persona 4 character) seems to do this because he’s a psychopath whereas I think Ephraim is this way as a terrible coping mechanism. In Persona 4, the arcana where this Persona fits in is meant to be the reversed Fool. And while I’m trying to stick with the Persona 5 Royal placements (which for Magatsu-Izanagi is the Tower arcana), I think the implication here is that Ephraim has a lot of potential to be something so great if he can just reverse the path he is going down.

Lyria: I love Lyria. I think she’s a wonderful and interesting character. I love that she highlights the ramifications of undoing a toxic form of government. She gets so much development that it was easy to see what arcana she fit into. The first one I thought of was the Hermit. It represents wisdom, introspection, solitude, retreat and philosophical searches. In the beginning, she has very strong opinions about Darrow and the rest of the Rising. Which is entirely understandable considering her entire way of life was stripped from her without a way to cope with the changes. But, unlike Lysander, she’s willing to re-examine herself and her perceptions as she is presented with new information. She also tends to try and keep under the radar if she can, which is another trait of the Hermit. What’s interesting to me is that other characters of the Hermit arcana are victims of circumstances out of their control, but they see their own victimization as a result of a flaw in their character. The other arcana is very tricky for me, as there are parts of Lyria’s character that I don’t know yet. After much discussion and deliberation with my resident expert, the second arcana for Lyria is the Priestess. This arcana is a symbol of hidden knowledge or other untapped power, wisdom, female mystery and patience. The characters of this arcana also take more time to open up to the protagonist than others. Which also fits Lyria as she needed time and introspection to really understand Darrow and Mustang. As for the Persona, I’m actually going to cheat a little with my choice. I try to keep the arcana placements from Persona 5 Royal but for Lyria, I’m choosing Hariti whose arcana is Priestess in Persona 4 and Persona Q. Hariti is a protector of children and childbirth after going through a significant change in perspective which, from what I understand and have been told, is also something that Lyria does.

#persona #red rising #my thoughts

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nzvalley · 3 years

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Rewatching some Star Trek: Enterprise

3x13 - Proving Ground

There is an unending “Previously On Enterprise” to open the episode. A full minute and a half to remind the audience what’s going on. Whew, the signs of how convoluted and serialized the show had become. This episode is deeply mired in the Xindi arc, which is decent but not what I love about the show.

One thing I will say about the Xindi arc is that it’s not about xenophobia or total war. The idea that Archer becomes an unreasonable war hawk is pure fanon. It only takes a few of episodes into season 3, way before this point, before Archer starts seeing nuance in the Xindi species.

They’re still enemies of Earth, still trying to attack and destroy it, but the show almost immediately sympathizes them. Whatever parallels were supposed to exist to America right after 9/11, it doesn’t hold up long.

The major highlight to this episode for me is the return of Shran and the amazing Jeffrey Combs! It’s awesome that the episode starts with Shran, and we get a long look at an Andorian ship.

One of the many drawbacks of the forced overhaul of the show was the dismissal of the slow-building Federation arc. And thus Shran. Even now he gets shoehorned into the Xindi stuff, rather than as a step towards the Federation.

Still, it’s awesome to see T’Pol, Shran, and Archer back together. And it is another favor called in, another instance of Archer and Shran (and T’Pol) forging a special relationship.

I forgot how much the retooled theme song sucks. I mean, the original was cheesy but at least it was heartfelt and sincere. The retool saps all of that out, and seems empty and failing at edgy.

“Typical humanoid arrogance.” In general humanoid refers to body type not facial structure. So most of the Xindi are humanoids. Besides that point, though… what were the “humanoids” called before the Xindi learned about humans?

It takes nearly five minutes before we see Enterprise or anyone on it. I didn’t check, but that seems pretty long.

The network tried to make this a military show, instead of an exploration show. That’s the real tension, tragedy of this season. There has always been shades of military in Star Trek, but ultimately that’s not (and shouldn’t be) it’s center.

The shot from behind Archer that reveals Shran’s antennae is one of the most memorable images of the whole show.

“The Imperial Guard thought you would be grateful to have an ally… considering no one else (pointed look toward T’Pol) came rushing to your aid.” An unnecessary shot at T’Pol, considering she actually came along.

Shran and T’Pol have great chemistry too. Barely restrained animosity but tempered with grudging respect. It’s the relationship of all three that is important for the Federation. The trust that develops between Archer and Shran is important, but T’Pol’s presence too, constantly making choices that shock Shran and disrupt his attitude toward Vulcans, is as necessary as the other dyad.

T’Pol actually has a similar impact on Shran as she does on Archer (and Trip, for that matter). Because of her loyalty and uniqueness among Vlucans, she shocked and awed them both out of deeply held animosity towards her species. And not just on an interpersonal level, but in a way that would help shake up centuries of moribund relations.

In fact, Shran points out how huge it is that T’Pol remained on Enterprise. A point that doesn’t get emphasized enough, either in show or IRL, is the amount that T’Pol gives up to continue supporting Archer.

Shran: What happened to your uniform, Sub-Commander? Not that I don’t find your new look becoming… but it’s not exactly regulation is it? T’Pol: I resigned my commission. Shran: Yes, I believe I heard something about that. Archer: Why are you here? Shran: Your world is in jeopardy, and where are your friends, the Vulcans? Where is their mighty fleet? They couldn’t even spare one officer. She was forced to abandon her career to remain on your ship! A remarkably selfless act… for a Vulcan.

Archer/T’Pol walk and talk. We get some Vulcan and Andoria backstory, which seems a little late in the game. Shouldn’t they have had a talk about this at some point during their initial meetings with the Andorians?

Either way, she ends up being right about the need for security and about the Andorians’ duplicity. In retrospect, Shran’s scheme was well-played. Both Archer and T’Pol could buy the Andorians coming into the Expanse simply to one-up the Vulcans, but T’Pol’s knowledge of their history made her hesitant.

Some good stuff between Reed and Talas. I always found Reed very engaging and interesting as a character, and it’s a shame he didn’t get more attention.

Trip has a great moment of sass while watching Reed and Talas banter. “Well, I’ll leave you two to get acquainted.” Reed and Trip were always a good duo, even from the pilot.

Awesome romantic dinner in the captain’s mess between Archer and Shran. Even though Shran is playing a part here, I think a lot of it is also genuine. Shran, manipulative bastard that he is, both uses aspects of the truth to make a lie believable AND using his lies to reveal some truths he had kept hidden up to now.

Then there’s a Trip/T’Pol scene. Three VP sessions a week, jfc. The network was trying so hard, although these are the scenes between them that I prefer. Not the neuropressure crap or the ultra-dramatic plots they throw at them, but when they are connecting over their responsibilities and duties. I mentioned earlier in the season that the writers already had a great way to kickstart any Trip/T’Pol romance they wanted, which was their co-research on Trellium. They would be isolated, passionately invested, and facing high-pressure from the Captain. Perfect combination... but... alas. Anyway, I digress. I find it interesting that T’Pol doesn’t share her suspicions about the Andorians with Trip.

Reed and Talas bickering!

Intense Trip/Shran scene. A duo you don’t get to see much of, so it’s nice to see them interact.

Degra’s test… and then the Archerite scene, which is pure brilliance. One of the funniest scenes of the whole show.

At this point the plot really starts to kick in, so my thoughts become sparser. I care more about the quiet moments and character beats, especially on re-watch.

Reed and Talas scene… Talas is really up to something this time. Archer/Shran/T’Pol debrief… the reveal of Shran’s duplicity begins to become apparent. In a second debrief scene, its’ even more apparent to everyone that the Andorians are about to pull a double-cross.

The connection Archer forged with Graelik comes through!

Interesting scene between Shran and the general. The clearest picture in a while of how much of a maverick Shran is for an Andorian, akin to Archer and T’Pol.

Then the double-cross goes down! But Shran telegraphed what he was going to do, so everyone on Enterpise already knew and had prepared.

And Shran sends the scans in secret in the end, showing that while he might play his part for his military/government, he still personally feels a connection to Archer and T’Pol. He is willing to risk his career in the same way as T’Pol, though not quite as openly as her, to keep his relationship with Archer viable.

Archer and T’Pol were both right this time. The Andorians couldn’t be trusted… but Shran ultimately came through.

The episode ends up back where it started, on the Enterprise at least, with T’Pol, Hoshi, and Archer analyzing data.

Archer invites Trip and T’Pol to dinner to drink some Adorian ale. And like usual now, the show pretends that Archer/T’Pol/Trip have nothing to discuss that might be awkward or uncomfortable.

Screencaps: https://ent.trekcore.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=117&page=5

Transcripts: http://www.chakoteya.net/Enterprise/65.htm

#Star Trek: Enterprise #Captain Archer #T'Pol #Shran #Andorians #Hoshi Sato #Malcolm Reed

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elle-imagines · 4 years

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Hello! I just want to say first that I adore your blog. I hardly ever find someone who also loves to do deep character analysis and I love it 🥺 Can I request headcanons of Sasuke with a delicate yet formidable s/o? Maybe add in nsfw if it's not too much trouble? Thank you!

Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to know you like analysis, too! I hope to continue meet your expectations in the future now that I’m back. I love my Sasuke, so I got carried away. It’s a bit long!

~1500 words

NSFW below

SFW

When the two of you first met, he looked over you. He thought you were too gentle and meek in the way you carefully wrapped your kunai or leapt softly from branch to branch. He disregarded the warmth of your voice even when others were rough with you. Before you two got to know each other, he never appreciated fragility. His life never shown him it, so anything of that nature creates a feeling in him that brings discomfort. Or more specifically irritation, curiosity, and a hint of longing for gentleness he wish he experienced.

It began when you offered to clean his weapons. It was a task he could neglect at times, his mind on strategy and ruthless ambition. He agreed, and something urged him to keep you company. He wrote it off as wanting to watch your handiwork, not the pull towards your tame energy that pacified him. Your presence created serenity, a gentle silence as you worked clove oil into his blades while he watched a few birds perch comfortably on an uprooted tree. He thought he’d feel satiated, but peace, serenity, and gentility are scarce resources in his world. He sought this normalcy you provided for him. He was just Sasuke to you, and beyond his unrelenting pursuance of this path he took, he found moments where he only wanted to be a man for once. Just Sasuke. Just with you.

Your meetings continued over time, a respite from violence and anguish, in a secluded area overlooking a creek. You begin to bring meals when you notice him eating less. You brought tomatoes, molded onigiri, and cabbage, while Sasuke met you with a few fish he caught earlier. Every time he ate, he felt gratitude at eating home-grown vegetables he used to indugle in as a child. This sense of nostalgia and normalcy you brung urged him to begin a romantic relationship with you.

He began to know you, no longer overlooking you. He observed the way you grip things like a shinobi would, the lowering of your eyelids when someone was being abrasive. It’s almost as if he could hear you calculating, analyzing others and predicting their next move, your feet subtly shifting in a defensive stance under your dress. When you accompanied him to fight, his heart throbbed faster at the sight of your prowess. Your adaptability. Your cunningness. Your formidability. What was most threatening, if not eerie, was your ultimate control of every part of you, mentally and physically. Every word, every swing of the blade, every small nuance you did was with purpose. You knew just the amount of agony, just the amount of threat to let lay on your tongue, just the right wordplay to use to create doubt in an enemy. Your formidability came from your deliberation. Your formidability came from perseverance before those perceived to be more powerful than you.

Sasuke knows you.

Sasuke knows your hands. Your hands, coordinated and fastidious in needlework and mending, warm and gentle in consoling an upset friend and caressing him into willing distraction. Those hands, as he observed, have also disarmed men more powerful than most with a complex hold. Blades fly from your hands with a flicker and a bend of air. A surge of chakra halves trees and shatters bone. His lips lift warmly at the feel of your calluses. He knows your hands. He knows the ruin and tenderness they could bring.

Sasuke knows your voice. He hears the radiance and softness you use with him and your friends. Even the lack of you speaking, holding your tongue when necessary, is a tactician’s move. He knows your voice can betray nothing, whether detailing a report to your superiors or debating for better support and protection for genin students. The fluidity of your voice can bring a council member down a notch, incite hesitancy in an S-Rank criminal, and soothe a child’s tears. This is the voice that hides fear under a mask of penetrating perceptivity and intellectual prowess. You sound as gentle as the ocean, but can morph into a persistent wave that will erode the strongest boulders into weak gravel.

Sasuke knows your walk. You’re gentle on your feet like he is, barely disturbing the ground beneath you even when you’re tired. He’s grown fond of seeing you reach on the tips of your toes for something, or land quietly on a branch. He has seen that walk change into one that makes a shinobi falter their fighting stance. No, there is not the sound of foreboding thumps on the ground at your approach. But, the swiftness of your arrival and departure, taking the consciousness of enemies before you is a bit more frightening because of something called underestimation.

Sasuke knows your eyes. The gentle squint because of your raised cheeks. The lashes he feels against his skin at night. Their openness and curiosity as they look into his eyes. Those eyes show acceptance and happiness towards him, and he is aware of the appreciation you furtively show to his physique. Those eyes pick up on the strain behind his own, giving unsaid comfort for thoughts he cannot express. He also knows the extent to which it absorbs surroundings. Holstered weapons on passersby, the rigidness of someone’s shoulders, the exchange of illicit materials near your preferred market. You remain quiet, meeting eyes with knowing that one more person knows something secretive.

Your delicacy mirrors his roughness, as the sun’s warmth soothes the moon’s frost. Your hands, as they rest on his back, mend and unfold muscles he didn’t know he tensed. In contrast, the directness of his voice as he corrects your stance while training you and the strength behind his sparring shows you his sincerity in helping you. As you both dress each other’s wounds, your touch is as remedying as your chakra, bringing him back to memories of his mother nursing scraped knees busted lips. His touch is heated and solid, firm but attentive, and brings you comfort in knowing you are protected willingly by a man who knows you don’t need it.

NSFW

With delicacy comes attentiveness and gentle handling, everything Sasuke needs when it comes to personal intimacy. Although having seen sexual activities at red light districts and dubious markets he encountered as a fugitive, he still has a rudimentary idea of sex. Based on what he saw, the depravity of it in these areas (and spotting a few paragraphs from his former sensei’s infamous book), it affirmed that it did not interest him more than it did most of his life. Even before he left the village, he had a dim interest in sexual topics thrown around before class, and dismissed the passing of lewd magazines during Warring States History class.

He finds people to be beautiful in the same way you find nature beautiful, not really ogling at breasts or legs. He appreciates your beauty in a whole way rather than specific parts of you.

Ideas of becoming intimate with you surfaced after a while, but he was hesitant to bring it up. It’s more likely you brought it up first and you both discussed it (though awkwardly).

He is nonchalant to the idea of sex, but he does have a steady libido which he equates to scratching an itch and releasing stress. Sex for him would be to give and receive sensual affection, and learn about each other in a different aspect.

Sasuke likes to have a routine when doing many things, including sex. He learns that you like his fingers to comb through your scalp, his staring at you from between your legs before beginning to taste you, how he holds your face in his hands. Predictability in this setting is best for him, so you make sure he is comfortable every step.

I feel that he is much more responsive to your hands massaging on his erogenous zones than directly on his sex. Trailing your fingers softly on his thighs, whisper against the folds of his ear, or kissing the insides of his wrist makes him shiver. Caressing him and embracing him closely gives him the most pleasure than outright handjobs.

Sasuke appreciates your patience with him. A lot. The lack of expectations you hold on him and the calmness you exude gives him peace.

Both of you don’t mind chasing non-penetrative release. Oral sex, slow grinding on his hips, and massaging is perfect for him. Mutual masturbation is an intimate way for him to watch you pleasure yourself and learn what you like from your movements.

Your gentility and skill at perceiving his small tics furthers your dynamic in the bedroom. You work slowly, watch him clench his jaw when you mead the muscles of his thighs. When he accepts your offer for oral pleasure, your deliberate slowness is what sends him over the edge. You look at him knowingly, calculating how to bring the most pleasure and understanding what he likes. You know the sensitivity he has when you cup him gently, or the sharp breath he takes when you hum while sucking repeatedly.

Sasuke enjoys you holding him after you two have sex, the air smelling like heat and salty sweat. You embrace him gently, affirming to him that you will always have him and care for him. As he holds you, you feel his endearment radiating off of him. Without words shared, you know he loves you, as you love him.

#sasuke #Sasuke Uchiha #uchiha sasuke #uchiha #Naruto Shippuden #naruto #naruto headcanon #naruto headcanons #Headcanon #headcanons #naruto imagines #free write #writing #imagines #imagine

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mediaeval-muse · 3 years

Text

Book Review

Confessions of the Fox. By Jordy Rosenberg. New York: One World, 2018.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction, queer fiction

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Set in the eighteenth century London underworld, this bawdy, genre-bending novel reimagines the life of thief and jailbreaker Jack Sheppard to tell a profound story about gender, love, and liberation.

Jack Sheppard and Edgeworth Bess were the most notorious thieves, jailbreakers, and lovers of eighteenth-century London. Yet no one knows the true story; their confessions have never been found. Until now. Reeling from heartbreak, a scholar named Dr. Voth discovers a long-lost manuscript—a gender-defying exposé of Jack and Bess’s adventures. Is Confessions of the Fox an authentic autobiography or a hoax? As Dr. Voth is drawn deeper into Jack and Bess’s tale of underworld resistance and gender transformation, it becomes clear that their fates are intertwined—and only a miracle will save them all.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: sexual content (as in sex acts, not the mere presence of lgbt+ people), blood, graphic depiction of top surgery, violence, racism, gender dysphoria

Overview: I didn’t know what I was expecting when I picked up this book, but something about it just hit all the right angles for me. I adore historical fiction that not only aims to imitate the aesthetics of the period, but also focuses on underrepresented identities, such as queer, non-white, and working or poverty class people; thus, it was inevitable that I would find Confessions of the Fox would be so engrossing. I do understand that this book might not be for everyone, as Rosenberg plays with a lot of academic ideas that usually fall in the realm of theory, but personally, I loved that this book wasn’t just about trans identity. While gender and identity and queerness were at the heart of this book, Confessions was also about archives and policing and commodities and so much more - things that were related and engaged the more academic part of my brain, but somewhat complicated for casual reading. Nevertheless, it was ambitious and smartly-constructed, so I’m giving it a high rating, even if I have quibbles here and there.

Writing: As a former academic and lover of history, I very much enjoyed Rosenberg’s approach to genre, form, and writing. It would have been easy to simply write a story using modern aesthetic tastes, but Rosenberg goes out of his way to imitate the prose style of the 18th century. I loved the richness of the vocabulary and the complexity of the sentences, as well as the juxtaposition of the sacred and profane. It was refreshing to read such beautiful prose that the author clearly put a lot of love into, and if you want to be so immersed in a story that you feel like you’re reading a historical document, I think Rosenberg does a wonderful job.

I also really loved the way Rosenberg wrote about trans identity in the 18th century. There are passages, for example, where Jack’s attention wanders while being dead-named, where Jack expresses feelings of confusion or freedom when talking about his physical body, where he talks about the process of coming into being when he heard Bess use his name, etc. I thought these passages were the most beautifully written and impactful, and they stayed with me the most after I finished the book.

These 18th century “confessions” are accompanied by a number of footnotes, written by a character named Dr. Voth in the present day. In these passages, Rosenberg shifts his tone and style, thereby differentiating between past and present without having to constantly remind the reader that Jack and Bess’s story is told through something of a frame. I think the choice to have footnotes instead of chapters where Voth’s POV takes center stage was a good one - it more effectively created parallels between the 18th century story and Voth’s personal story, and reminded the reader that history (especially trans history) evolves as a result of a kind of archival work, collected in pieces by many different people. In that sense, form matched function, which I am always delighted to see in my novels.

That being said, I can’t say I enjoyed Voth’s voice all that much. This criticism is probably a personal preference rather than anything Rosenberg did wrong - I just think Voth’s voice felt a little too conversational, like he was talking to someone instead of writing.

Plot: Most of Rosenberg’s novel follows Jack Sheppard and Bess Khan as they discover Jack’s identity, evade arrest, and disrupt a horrifying commodity trade (so to speak). In my opinion, the plot points surrounding Jack’s personal journey were incredibly well-constructed; I felt that the evolution of Jack’s gender identity, the romance between Jack and Bess, and their evolution as criminals were all very compelling and touched on a number of engrossing themes, from gender to poverty to anti-capitalism. Granted, there were some areas where I think the pacing dragged, but part of me thinks this was due to the 18th century style and genre conventions, more than anything Rosenberg was doing wrong.

In Voth’s footnotes, we also get something of a personal story which includes Voth being coerced into working for an exploitative publishing company at the direction of his university administrator. As we go through the footnotes, Voth recounts conversations he had with these figures while also disclosing details about his failed relationships - with one ex in particular. While I did like the parallels that exist between the manuscript and Voth’s own life, there were some things that challenged my suspension of disbelief. For example, I would never expect an academic to record personal anecdotes and intimate confessions in footnotes for an academic project. Maybe that happens in academic circles outside mine, and I understand it needs to happen for plot reasons (just reading references to critical theory or secondary sources would be boring for most people), so this criticism is coming from a place of being too close to the setting surrounding the text, in a way.

I also think that there were some passages where sexual activity would be mentioned where it was not needed. I do understand, on some level, that sex and sexuality is an important topic in trans studies (and queer studies as a whole), and I don’t want to appear too prudish. However, I think random references to a character masturbating, even if they were making a point, were a bit egregious. I was especially put off by the story of a 15 year old masturbating (in the present-day footnotes), and though I understand the story was illustrating an academic concept and books should acknowledge that (many) teens do have sex drives, it was also a bit much for me, personally.

Characters: Jack, our primary protagonist, is interesting and complex not just because he struggles with his identity as a trans man, but also because he struggles with acting in ways that are not out of self-interest. Though he is a thief and thus acts in self-interest in understandable ways, he eventually uncovers an operation which involves the production of a drug-like substance (or something - that’s the best I can describe it). Bess demands that he destroy all samples so that the substance can’t be reproduced by others, but Jack wants to confiscate the samples for himself to make a huge profit. I liked that this conflict existed, not only because it showed Jack as having other challenges in his life other than his gender identity, but it also spurred character growth and emotional turmoil.

Bess Khan, a prostitute and Jack’s lover, was written in a way that respected sex work and provided commentary on race and policing. I really liked that she had a strong set of principles and desires that were larger than herself, and I liked that she was confident and forceful where Jack could be meek and unsure.

Other rogues were equally loveable and admirable. Jenny, another prostitute, was a nice example of women forming networks of support within the criminal underworld while also showing how white women (even prostitutes) are treated differently than non-white women. Aurie, a black queer man, was also a supportive friend to Jack who is frequently instrumental in his survival. There is also a wide variety of named and unnamed rogues who were non-white and/or queer in some way, providing a rich array of characters that dispels the assumption that 18th century England was homogenously white and straight.

Our main antagonist, Jonathan Wild, is a bit less interesting in that he’s mainly just corrupt. I personally didn’t care for the chapters from his perspective, though I do understand that he functions as an important, symbolic figure that embodies all the things Jack and Bess work against (capitalism, police corruption, etc.).

Voth, our modern day commentator, has his moments, but sometimes, I would waffle back and forth between finding him engaging and finding him pretentious. I understand that he is supposed to be flawed, and I sympathize with a lot of his plights - mainly the pressure from his university and the anxiety he suffers from. But also, I found his voice to be somewhat combative, and if the point was to make a complicated, likeable-sometimes-unlikeable-other-times character, then I think Rosenberg succeeded.

TL;DR: Confessions of the Fox is a beautiful debut novel that engages with trans identity and history, though it does so in a way that may be a bit too academic for some readers. But while it definitely demands much of your attention, Rosenberg ultimately delivers a rich, engrossing story that reaches beyond the historical and textual boundaries of the page and invites the reader to see themselves as part of a vast network that is constantly “making” and “becoming” itself.

#book reviews

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grapefruitsketches · 4 years

Text

Untamed Spring Fest 2020 - Days 24-30: Chapter 2, Harmony (Day 25)

Part of my Songxiao post-canon fix-it fic series:

Also available AO3: link

4,133 Words

Chapter 2: Song Lan asks Lan Wangji for some help.

It had been a week since Xingchen’s return when talk finally turned to events he had missed over the last eleven years.

Lan Sizhui patiently read out Song Lan’s answers to Xiao Xingchen’s questions. Sizhui’s presence was a frustrating necessity to what they would have preferred to be a private conversation, particularly given how awkward it must be for Sizhui to be the intermediary in a discussion about events that had so deeply involved his family. Despite this, Song Lan thought that the young cultivator had maintained an impressively neutral expression throughout, committed to his role as an interpreter, not a participant. That is, he had been until Xiao Xingchen turned some questions to him.

“Sizhui, I was wondering,” Sizhui straightened at being called by name and nodded encouragingly, Xingchen continued, “What did Hanguang-Jun do in the years between coming out of seclusion and Wei-gongzi’s return?”

“He attended to his many responsibilities in the Cloud Recesses,” Sizhui answered immediately and dutifully, ever an eager advocate for Hanguang-Jun. Song Lan was learning that the Chief Cultivator was something of a father figure to Sizhui, “Many of them required him to travel, so he was away quite a bit. But he always made sure he was back for important events or milestones in our training. At least until we were old enough to travel with him.”

Xingchen nodded, “Does he still travel as much now?” Song Lan closed his eyes as he realized where this was going.

Last night, alone in the guest room, finally away from their various hosts and interpreters, Xiao Xingchen had sat on the bed, Song Lan in front of him on the floor as Xingchen ran a comb through his hair. Song Lan’s scalp tingled even at the memory of the gentle touch. Song Lan treasured such moments, but they were also the times he most missed having a tongue. Over the last four years, he hadn’t thought about it much. It could be a bit of an inconvenience to be sure, but solitary night hunts had always been silent things anyway, and he never minded writing his words rather than speaking them. But in these moments, alone with Xingchen, where his only responses had to be through touch? That was hard.

Xingchen had no trouble filling the silences, though, tutting about the state of Song Lan’s hair (“Did you roll through a field today Zichen? What happened?”) as he pulled out knots and the occasional branch, commenting on the generosity of their hosts (“We shall have to make this up to them somehow… I have heard Wei-gongzi mention Emperor’s Smile, but we will have to find out what Hanguang-Jun likes as well - besides Wei-gongzi” he had said with a laugh), and other, softer words that Song Lan held close to his heart. To all these, Song Lan responded wordlessly, leaning into Xingchen’s hand, or shaking his head enough that Xingchen could feel it as he combed. These answers felt adequate, but hardly satisfying.

Then Xingchen had asked something they both knew Song Lan had no hope of answering. “I wish you could tell me more about these past years for you. Since we… since we last parted” Song Lan understood what went unsaid: since Song Lan had lashed out at Xingchen, speaking what would be his last words to him after the massacre at Baixue Temple, “I know you were alone,” Xingchen had continued carefully, Song Lan’s eyes snapping open as Xingchen’s hands paused, resting near the top of his head, “and I remember… or… I think I remember… it’s hard to be sure…” Song Lan had reached up to hold Xingchen’s hand reassuringly, Xingchen letting his arm be pulled down over Song Lan’s shoulder. Xingchen had taken a breath and continued, “Well, I remember when I got… agitated… you would comfort me, but sometimes… Well, sometimes I suspected you held me because of something happening in your world, not mine. I just wish I was there to comfort you back, to actually know what you went through. But I didn’t want to ask you about it in front of anyone else so…” Xingchen sighed, “I just wanted you to know that I care, and want to ask, but don’t want to make you relive anything in front of anyone else if you don’t want to.”

Song Lan had squeezed Xingchen’s hand tight at this, turning himself around it so he faced Xingchen. He had stood up, pulling Xingchen up along with him, and hugged him tight, I know you care. I love you and you have done more than enough for me. I just wish I could be properly here for you, as much as you are for me. He hoped at least some of that came through his silent embrace, but he had felt inadequate in that moment, unable to offer the answers, the support, the apologies that he so badly wanted to return to Xingchen.

And so Song Lan flushed as he realized that Xingchen’s questions to Sizhui were a sort of follow up to the previous night’s exchange, presumably as a starting point for later yes or no questions for Song Lan once they were alone. Song Lan had some doubts as to the wisdom of prying into Hanguang-Jun’s experience, but Xingchen being Xingchen pulled off the questions seeming compassionate, not intrusive or inappropriate.

“So he would play Inquiry wherever we went and…” Sizhui trailed off. He turned, wide-eyed, to Song Lan. Song Lan furrowed his brow, taking a moment before he realized where Sizhui’s mind had wandered. Inquiry. His eyes now widened as well.

Xiao Xingchen, who had not been able to pick up on this silent exchange, politely prompted, “And?”

But Song Lan had already furiously scribbled his questions on a page.

Sizhui looked at the page and nodded slowly, “I think so… It is just a language after all… If you took out the truth coercing measures… And it’d be simpler without the need to actually contact a spirit…“

Song Lan glanced over to Xingchen who sat stiffly, a strained imitation of the usually serene smile on his face. Song Lan squeezed his hand back in apology for leaving him out, and looked to Sizhui, pointing at his earlier pages, then Xingchen. Sizhui blinked out of his musings and reddened, “I’m sorry, Xiao-xiong!” he cleared his throat and read out Song Lan’s hasty questions.

Could Inquiry allow two living humans to speak?

Could Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen be allowed to learn it?

The next day, fist poised to knock at the door, Song Lan hesitated.

Since he had first learned it may be possible for Xingchen to come back, it had been difficult for him to dare to hope that he might see him again, knowing he wouldn’t be able to bear it if that hope came to nothing. But believing that he might be able to speak to him? To have a chance to remedy his life’s biggest regret? He did not want to court the disappointment that belief might bring. It felt selfish. He already had Xingchen by his side, so how could he ask for more? He had tossed and turned all night, considering and reconsidering how he might ask, whether he should ask, how to react with calm, not frustration, if the answer was that no, Hanguang-Jun would not teach him, some rogue cultivator, a well-protected Lan secret. But by the time he had finally taken brush to page that morning, he had made his decision. The words had come quickly, already perfected through the sleepless night.

Now that he stood at the door, though, he considered turning back. This was a step too far. His and Xingchen’s hosts had already done more than could be imagined for them. They had released him from his mental prison. They had told him there was a chance he might see his beloved again. They had helped him make that chance a reality. They had given them both a safe, quiet place to reunite. Now he looked down again at the page, where he had written his request for secrets, for words.

Song Lan took a deep breath. He did not know Hanguang-Jun well. He expected that very few had that honour. But he knew enough to know that Hanguang-Jun’s reputation suffered no exaggeration. He was an honourable man, both loyal and fair. He would not easily give up clan secrets, not if he felt it was improper, but he also would not cast out him, or more importantly, a recuperating Xingchen, over an impolite request made in good faith. It was ultimately this that reassured Song Lan enough to finally knock on the door.

Quiet footsteps approached and the door slid open. The calming scent of incense smoke drifted Song Lan’s way.

Hanguang-Jun blinked, whether in surprise, annoyance, or simply because a speck of pollen had landed in his eye, Song Lan could not tell. It did not matter though. There was no going back now.

He clasped his hands together and bowed stiffly, catching a glimpse of a table so covered in well-organized scrolls and books that if it weren’t for its legs, Song Lan wouldn’t have known the wood’s colour. He wished that there was an easy way for him to apologize immediately for his interruption, but unfortunately, pulling out a brush and page was too unwieldy while standing and the polished walkways of Cloud Recesses were far too clean to give him any dust or dirt to write in.

Still bowed, out of courtesy but also conveniently allowing Song Lan to avoid eye contact, Song Lan held his letter out to the Chief Cultivator. He rose only when he felt the paper leave his hands. Hanguang-Jun looked at him for a moment, letter still rolled tight in his hand. Song Lan kept his face decidedly neutral even as the only sound between them was his heart pounding in his ears.

Another blink, and Hanguang-Jun stepped aside, “Come sit,” he said simply, gesturing towards the table. Song Lan seated himself on the side of the table closer to the door, the side from which all the many pages showed only upside-down characters. Song Lan averted his eyes to not intrude on his host’s privacy as well as time, but he thought he might have seen the characters for “Sanren” and “voice” before he could consciously avoid reading them.

Hanguang-Jun made quick work of the papers, stacking some neatly to the side, rolling others up to make a perfectly aligned pile. Song Lan sat still, focusing only on his breathing and each of the other man’s careful movements. Hanguang-Jun tucked the books under the pile of papers, clearing the table until all that was left in front of them was a small stack of blank pages, a brush, and some ink, all three of which Hanguang-Jun turned and pushed towards Song Lan’s side. He retrieved a tray of tea from a shelf behind the table, which from the steam appeared to have been freshly brewed. He carefully poured two cups, placing one in front of Song Lan and the other in front of himself.

Only then, after the room was properly laid out to receive guests, did he retrieve Song Lan’s letter from his sleeve.

Song Lan felt an old itch to nervously tap his knee. Years of practice kept him still, although his fist, which was resting on his thigh, tightened. Hanguang-Jun gently unrolled the scroll and began reading. Song Lan tracked Hanguang-Jun’s progress as his eyes skimmed the letter, expression remaining unchanged. His eyes trailed to the bottom of the page, then back to the top, rereading it quickly, but lingering here and there. He paused once he reached the end again, before nodding softly to himself. He rolled the letter back up neatly and looked finally at Song Lan. Song Lan couldn’t quite put his finger on what had changed in Hanguang-Jun’s still neutral expression, but something about his eyes seemed… softer, perhaps?

“It is a good idea.” Hanguang-Jun said simply. Song Lan felt his lungs release a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, “I will ask my uncle for approval. I will explain to him what this would mean for the two of you. The language is difficult, but I believe the two of you will be able to learn enough.”

Song Lan nodded, more rapidly than usual as he tried to convey his gratitude, before remembering the writing tools he’d been provided with. He picked up the brush and wrote a quick but precise Thank you, Hanguang-Jun, for understanding. I apologize for the interruption. He turned the page towards the other man, nodding his head into another bow, punctuating his apology.

Hanguang-Jun glanced at the note, “I am glad you came. I wanted to speak with you.”

This caught Song Lan off-guard. Hanguang-Jun wanted to speak with him? He furrowed his brows, his sudden expressiveness making it unnecessary for him to write down his question.

Hanguang-Jun explained, “I did not want to intrude on your time together, but Wei Ying,” Song Lan didn’t fail to notice the softness of his voice on the name, the almost imperceptible smile as he looked down at his hands, “thought we should talk.”

Have I done something to offend? Song Lan wrote. He didn’t think he had, but Cloud Recesses had many rules he was not yet familiar with, and he could not think of another reason why a conversation with him would be merited.

Hanguang-Jun shook his head, “No you have not.” Song Lan waited for Hanguang-Jun to continue, but the Chief Cultivator seemed to need a moment to decide how to proceed. It was strange to see Hanguang-Jun, Chief Cultivator, Twin Jade of Gusu, who usually chose his words so carefully before he opened his mouth to speak them, at a loss for words. It was somehow comforting, “You spent a long time alone, and I know how strange it can be for that to come to an end.”

Song Lan, who had been reaching, finally, for his tea, froze. Of course, it was obvious to all of them why their Gusu hosts had been so eager to help, so instinctive in how best to treat the newly reunited couple. Song Lan had detected a kinship with Hanguang-Jun since their parting in Yi City, and perhaps even as far back as the incident in Yueyang, after which he and Xingchen had (correctly) speculated as to the nature of the budding relationship between the two younger cultivators. But he had expected these similarities to continue on unspoken.

Since arriving in Cloud Recesses, Song Lan had observed with envy the relaxed confidence Hanguang-Jun and Wei Wuxian shared in their conversations with each other, the honesty and understanding. He and Xingchen had once been like this, but now Song Lan felt that he could not - had not - held up his end of the relationship. His mistakes had led not only to their separation, twice over, but also to his own inability to speak. Over his years of wandering, he had been able to forgive himself for his role in this situation. But now, getting to see Xiao Xingchen’s face each morning, his pleasant smile, feel his loving touch that did not even seem to consider faulting Song Lan, now it was harder. Hanguang-Jun had described the end of a long separation as “strange.” That was certainly one word for it. Elation, regret, disbelief, concern, and fear were perhaps more precise, if less comprehensive ones. He was unable to shake the feeling that Xingchen could be taken away from him again at any moment. Now that his lonely pilgrimage was over, and the years alone felt almost unreal, he wondered if he had suffered enough to deserve the euphoria and bliss he now enjoyed in Xingchen’s presence.

I did not have to wait as long as you, though, was all he wrote in answer on the page.

“Perhaps not,” Hanguang-Jun answered, ”But I also never had to suffer life as a puppet. I did not deserve a longer wait because of that. Do not equate suffering with desert or joy with merit,” Song Lan flinched, but took Hanguang-Jun’s point, “even if you did, however,” Hanguang-Jun leveled a steady gaze at him, “I doubt you would come out wanting.”

Something about the way Hanguang-Jun said this, the insistence, the hint of aggression in his assertion, lead Song Lan to believe that Hanguang-Jun had at one time felt the same as him, that the wisdom he shared came from hard won growth. He considered this realization in wonder. If someone could seem this confident, this secure in their place, in their relationship, even after feeling the same anxieties Song Lan did now…

When does it start to feel less strange? He wrote, hand shaking as he was finally able to admit openly to another that he felt anything but joy at the reunion.

“Slowly. With trust, and practice.” Hanguang-Jun answered. His eyes drifted over to his guqin, lying on a nearby table, “It is like relearning an old duet. The memory is there, but the skill has lapsed. It will be shaky, but you will each learn, alone, and together, until one day the melody comes naturally, even if it comes back a bit different.” The corners of his mouth twitched upwards as he lifted the tea to his mouth, smiling at some thought Song Lan was not privy to.

Song Lan could only nod in response.

They sat drinking their tea in silence, maintaining careful eye contact, neither quite as comfortable transitioning fluidly from one subject to another as either of their partners, but both more comfortable with silence as well.

It was ultimately Hanguang-Jun who broke the stillness, “If my uncle agrees, know that it will be a difficult process. Inquiry is not designed for every day conversation. You will not only need to learn the instruments and understand the sounds, but I will need to adjust what I teach as we go to create a more practical version.”

Song Lan nodded, expression determined, It does not matter how long it takes, if I can offer Xingchen words again, he wrote. He paused, considering. He was not sure why he was suddenly so willing to share so much. He was not the type to share his worries, not ones about himself anyway, not unless it was with Xingchen, who understood just where and how to press to get to the places Song Lan hid best, to avoid or sooth the hurt, to comfort. But whether it was because of Hanguang-Jun’s similar history, or merely the neutral, polite expression which instilled confidence that he would not be judged, Song Lan picked up the brush again and continued, The last words I said to him, they were not kind.

He turned the page to Hanguang-Jun and turned his focus towards the oddly incongruous rabbit lantern on the shelf, happy to look anywhere but the other man as he read this confession.

“Song Zichen.” Hanguang-Jun addressed Song Lan, who reluctantly turned to meet the Chief Cultivator’s gaze. He almost recoiled at the hard stare he was met with, but as always, managed to mask this under his well-mannered composure. Hanguang-Jun continued, “If all you want to do is apologize to Xiao Xingchen, I can pass the message along for you. You will not need Inquiry. Is this all you want to do?”

Song Lan straightened, head retreating away from the stare as he shook his head. Hanguang-Jun nodded, but maintained his hard stare, “Why do you want to learn Inquiry?”

I want to be able to speak to Xingchen.

Again, a nod was his only reassurance that this answer was not wrong, but the eyes told him he was still missing something, “And why do you want to do that?”

Song Lan blinked. Why did he want to speak directly with Xingchen? He dipped the brush in ink and hovered over the page, breathing in the acrid smell of the ink as he considered all the things he might write. Where should he begin?

The most obvious was that he desired independence. He wanted to be able to speak to Xingchen whenever he wanted about whatever he wanted, without need for interpreter or needing to edit his words to make them suitable for the interpreter. He wanted to be able to express his joy, his pain, his sympathy in immediate reply to Xingchen. He wanted to be able to interrupt Xingchen’s attempts to apologize for Song Lan’s inability to speak, his own inability to see the words Song Lan wrote.

He wanted to be able to say trivial things, exchanging thoughts as they sat quietly over tea. He wanted to be able to shout warnings when they inevitably ended up back in battle, to count on the swiftness of sound instead of his own ability to physically reach Xingchen in time. He wanted to respond in kind to the sweet whispers Xingchen offered in the night, in times and places too intimate, too filled with each other to make room for any smell, any touch, any sound than those coming from each other.

He wanted to apologize for his last words, but moreover, he wanted to drown these in a flood of other words to come, for his cruel words to lose their significance by losing their special “last words” status. To make up for his cruelty with a lifetime of love.

The ink dripped onto the still-blank page, pooling then diluting easily across the already wet spots on the page.

“My brother once told me that when we cry, we know we have touched on something important.” Hanguang-Jun remarked, not unkindly.

Song Lan nodded and set the brush carefully aside, wiping the tears away, gaze fixedly on the slow spread of the ink.

“I only asked because you must understand.” The hard stare returned, though this time with raised eyebrows hinting towards earnest concern rather than judgment, “Inquiry does not use a precise language. Even its simplest exchanges leave room for ambiguity and misunderstanding, as you might remember.”

Song Lan shivered, but nodded, remembering the distant nightmare of sluggishly trying to make the other cultivators understand the threat sitting in the same room as them, smiling while wearing his face.

“Our best practitioners of Inquiry are not our best musicians, but our best poets. You would need to be comfortable with uncertainty. You would need to trust that he will understand your feelings even when you do not speak them clearly, and that he will ask if he feels he needs clarification,” Hanguang-Jun paused before he said, emphasising each word, “And that will depend on how much you trust him to trust you.”

Song Lan considered these words. Trust Xingchen to trust him? Of course he believed Xingchen would trust him, but should he? After all the times Song Lan had wronged him, taken from him without reciprocating, let him down when he needed him most, had Song Lan earned the benefit of the doubt if his words could be read as harsh or considerate?

Hanguang-Jun seemed to read his mind, “Trust is about what one thinks another will do, not what they have done. The past can inform but it must also be put into context.”

Song Lan frowned, one eyebrow raised in confusion.

“He loves you.” Hanguang-Jun said simply, “And knows you love him. The hard part will not be Xiao Xingchen forgiving you. He does not blame you. The hard part will be you forgiving yourself.”

And now, Song Lan did cry.

When Song Lan was finally in a sufficiently composed state, he took his leave. Arrangements had been made for Hanguang-Jun to visit him and Xingchen in the early mornings (the rogue cultivators had adjusted better than some to the Cloud Recesses’ schedule) starting two days from now, pending Lan Qiren’s approval of the plan (Hanguang-Jun seemed totally unconcerned with the possibility that his uncle might say no, but Song Lan decided not to question this).

Song Lan set off back towards the guest room, towards Xingchen, keeping an eye out for an interpreter to help him share the good news with Xingchen. He still did not know Hanguang-Jun well. He did not know if he ever would. He was a wise man, once who had lived through many trials and mistakes and had learned from each one. As the guqin music picked up behind Song Lan, though, he heard a melody that, while it did not match his own exactly, certainly harmonized. It was ultimately this that reassured Song Lan that recovery, even after all this time, was possible.

And so he went to share this first step with Xingchen.

Next: Chapter 3, Nest: Inquiry lessons begin. The Juniors and Wen Ning get involved, and they all have Opinions.

#untamed spring fest #the untamed #mdzs #cql #songxiao #wangxian #xiao xingchen #song lan #wei wuxian #lan wangji #this is going to go deep into May I can already tell #still tagging as untamed spring fest for organization purposes though!#my writing #songxiao fix it series

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echodrops · 4 years

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Hshshsnansna seeing that ask got me in a HUGE HaaH mood. Like, I went through and read a bunch of asks, and I'd probably go reread the fic itself if I had time. So!! Is there anything about HaaH you've always wanted to share but never had the chance to? Headcanons, worldbuilding, backstory, hidden details- anything at all??

Oh friend… There is so much. I have a Word document that’s like 17k of JUST headcanons and world-building for this fic kghsdkjhdkfg I’m not crazy, I swear.

It took me a while to respond because I had to comb through and find stuff that wasn’t spoilery, but tada, have some Home and a Half Hunk and Shiro (and Matt) headcanons and backstory under the cut!

Also, as for hidden details… Same as the Garrison professors in the show were named for staff members, Neuhahn and Ania are named after IRL contributors to the Voltron animated series–Chris Neuhahn was a producer and Ania O’Hare was the casting director.

And here are some Hunk, Shiro, and sorta Matt headcanons/backstory that shapes their characters in HaaH. (Please note, these headcanons ignore absolutely everything from about season 6 of the actual show and on. I stopped watching Voltron after Season 6 because I just couldn’t handle the writing anymore. T_T)

Hunk:- He’s mixed ethnically, and although his parents are from Samoa, his family tree actually spans many different countries, mostly in Polynesia, including Tonga, but even places as far away as Malaysia.- His parents were converted to the LDS church by Mormon missionaries in Samoa. A few years before Hunk was born, his parents moved to Utah to be closer to the church, so Hunk has only ever been to Samoa once, on a vacation to visit family.- His first name is actually “Hyrum,” and until he met Lance at a Garrison-sponsored summer astro-camp when they were nine, everyone just called him by his real name.- Lance actually meant to call him “Incredible Hulk” at camp, butttt to nine-year-old Lance’s utter mortification, it came out “Incredible Hunk” instead. “Hunk” stuck.- He has a little sister who is even more sensitive than he is.

- Although Hunk’s parents originally agreed on the plan to move to America, after the family arrived, they experienced difficulty fitting in with the very selective Utah culture, and Hunk’s mother grew disenchanted with the church. Employment was difficult to find in their small, rural town, and Hunk’s parents both struggled with being isolated from their extended families. Tensions over whether or not to remain in America, as well as over money, led to some miserable fights that contributed to Hunk’s aversion to conflict when he was younger.

- Hunk sometimes had to play the role of family peacekeeper, working hard to make sure that his youngest sister wouldn’t notice the strain.

- Nevertheless, despite their share of troubles, the family is extremely close-knit. Hunk values his family and their opinions more than anything in any world.

- Which is how he ended up agreeing to go to Garrison, even when he really just wanted to help his parents kickstart the restaurant they were planning to open. His mother felt that working in a family restaurant, even if Hunk is a great cook, would squander his incredible academic and engineering talent (which Hunk thought of as just a hobby), so she begged him to go and continue his schooling instead. Hunk couldn’t say no to his mother, even if the thought of being shipped off into space terrified the living daylights out of him.

- Hunk doesn’t curse and is somewhat uncomfortable with people cursing, at least in front of him. Although Lance used to have a pretty colorful repertoire, when he learned that cursing made Hunk uncomfortable, he immediately adopted all of Hunk’s weird Utah replacements instead. “Holy crow” and “let’s kick some trash” are things they actually say seriously.

- Hunk is always down to cuddle and is never embarrassed by asking for or giving cuddles to anyone. He would 200% cuddle Shiro if he thought Shiro would let him. (Shiro would, in fact, let him.) Hunk’s favorite person on the team to cuddle is actually Keith, because Keith (who was taught to comply by Garrison scientists with all unexpected/unsolicited touch) will just sit obediently for hours letting Hunk hug out all his stress. Hunk knows that something is off about Keith’s behavior, but his leading theory—that Keith allows the hugs because he’s touch-starved—is unfortunately false.

- Hunk knows the lyrics to every Disney song EVER.

- And he’s like a dog with a bone when it comes to secrets. Once he discovers that someone’s keeping something under wraps, he goes a bit crazy with curiosity and cannot stop thinking about what they might be hiding. The rules of privacy go totally out the window when he gets like this, but time and again, Hunk’s adage that it’s always better to tell the truth bears itself out.

Shiro (and Matt?):

- Shiro is the only member of his immediate family whose first language was not Japanese. His grandparents on both sides immigrated to the US from Japan due to work transfers relatively late in life, when their own children, Shiro’s parents, were already young adults. As the first family child to be born in America, Shiro’s parents strongly emphasized the need to learn English well, which unfortunately resulted in Shiro being pushed away from learning Japanese when he was young. Even though he’s a capable conversationalist now, he’s struggled his whole life with regret over not learning the language when he was young and could have picked it up easier.

- There’s a running joke in his family that he’s actually an ogre in disguise, given that he is much taller than many of his other family members. Tradition demands that the first photo of every holiday gathering is a joke group shot in which Shiro’s posed so his entire head is outside the top frame of the picture.

- Shiro was mercilessly bullied as a child because of his height. The other children frequently suggested that he didn’t belong in their grade because he was too big and that the school must held him back multiple times for being dumb. (Shiro was never held back. In fact, he had excellent grades from kindergarten to the day he graduated from Garrison—and no, not because his parents forced him to study; in fact, throughout his schooling, they often ended up having to force Shiro to go to bed already instead.)

- On top of being teased for his looks, Shiro was naturally shy. He barely spoke, even to his teachers, and would stumble miserably if he was put on the spot in class, contributing further to the rumor that he was stupid.

- Shiro loved learning, but he hated everything that happened in school and didn’t have a single real friend outside of his cousins until he went off to middle school and met Matt Holt in sixth grade.

- Barely two weeks into their first middle school year, and it was already obvious that Matt was the school’s biggest nerd; he’d been bumped up two grades because of his obvious genius and was the textbook definition of an alien conspiracy theorist (It’s not a conspiracy if they’re REAL, guys!) But the strange thing was that no one bullied Matt—he was just so quick on the sarcastic (and biochemical) comebacks that teasing him wasn’t even worth it. Instead, the school’s resident assholes took it out on targets a little less likely to corrode their homework with miniature magnesium bombs—read as, they picked on polite, well-meaning Takashi Shirogane instead.

- Out of pity more than anything else, Matt finally stood up for Shiro one day and ran off the assholes. (It was not, as Mrs. Shirogane insists, with a home-made taser. It was not.) After something like that, well… You sort of feel obligated to befriend a guy, don’tcha?

- Becoming friends with Matt Holt transformed Shiro’s life. Even if Shiro wouldn’t originally speak up for himself, he was ferociously proud and supportive of his first real friend, and learning to be bold for Matt taught Shiro the value and meaning of standing up for not only others, but also himself. Being friends with someone as off-the-cuff and tricky as Matt helped Shiro grow more spontaneous, less self-conscious, and ultimately much more confident—even if, to this day, most of that confidence is still focused on helping others, rather than on being self-assured.

- It was Shiro admiration for Matt’s father, Sam Holt, that led Shiro to take his childhood obsession with military history a step further by actually joining the military. Shiro and Matt enrolled in Garrison together, although Matt was part of the research rather than the combat division.

- Matt was the one who convinced Shiro to get his hair styled in an undercut. It was originally just a dare, but Shiro ended up loving it afterward. The “Undercut Incident,” as it has come to be known in the Shirogane family, was the official straw that broke the camel’s back and resulted in Mrs. Shirogane declaring Matt Holt a “bad influence,” the only impact of which was that Matt had to sneak in through Shiro’s bedroom window instead of coming to the front door when he wanted to hang out.

- Shiro has received two separate Medals of Honor for making dangerous supply deliveries to war-torn countries across the globe, delivering the vital food and medicine that helped save hundreds of lives. He has also been part of several missions to save stranded astronauts from failing international space stations.

- Shiro is actually a giant memelord, but his crushing sense of responsibility keeps him from indulging in quality shitposting in front of anyone he actually knows. He had a ridiculously active secret Vine account before leaving on the Kerberos mission. His snaps are legendary. Deep down, Shiro dreads the inevitable day someone connects him with his cringey social media accounts.

- Literally the worst at adulting. His mom still filled out his tax forms for him and booked his dentist appointments. He has no idea what the hell he’s doing leading Team Voltron when he can’t even remember which of his clothes are machine-washable and which aren’t.

- When they were in their third year at Garrison, Matt conned Shiro into volunteering as a camp counselor for Garrison’s summer astrocamp program, even though Shiro had minimal understanding of how to take care of children and mostly just BS’d his way through, hoping that none of his campers had anything close to a serious issue.

- He won “best camp counselor” the very first year he volunteered. Mostly because Lance cheated and voted for him 23 times, but still.

#Home and a Half #HaaHVLD #voltron headcanons #Hunk headcanons #Shiro headcanons #Matt headcanons #I guess lol #matt holt #hunk voltron #takashi shirogane #Voltron

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sosthemortalcoil · 5 years

Text

Ko-Fi Request: Date with Tadea

Alexandra made a request for the following:

Romantic date with Tadea

From Tadea’s PoV (3rd person limited is my preference for other characters)

World-weary Gabriel who finds herself surprising smitten with Tadea

Tall Gabriel

Total word count is 5,235 words and if you would like a pdf or word document copy, let me know via private messages here or on discord! Enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tee, it’s going to be fine.”

“Oh easy for you to say!” Tadea snaps, chewing on her lower lip as she continues to pace. “Everything comes so easy to you! Pack alpha, valedictorian, full ride—”

“Not everything,” Leo says softly, closing his laptop and standing up, catching her by the shoulders. She narrows her eyes at him. It’s no secret that Gabriel had captured both of their attentions, and there was only one victor in the war for her heart. For once, Leo hadn’t had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

“Boy, I can still kick your ass, alpha or no.”

Leo’s smile is gentle. “I know, Tee.” He squeezes her arms and then drops his hands. There’s no jealousy, though, just a quiet acceptance and support. In some ways it’s harder, having him be so supportive. She’s not sure she would be in his position. “It’s okay to be nervous, though.”

“What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just a date,” Tadea says, crossing her arms and shrugging her shoulders up about her ears.

“You’ve checked your appearance in the bathroom at the end of each loop you’ve been pacing through the apartment.”

“I have not!”

Leo inclines his head. “So you weren’t checking that the one strand in front that never likes to stay there—” He breaks off into laughter as Tadea frantically touches the pads of her fingers to her forehead, trying to make sure that her mohawk, combed down for once in an attempt to look more formal, is still in place.

“You’re a brat,” Tadea hisses, torn between scowling some more and wanting to cry. Not that she particularly wants the latter, but she’s never felt so nervous in her life. Facing life and death situations? Fine. Going up against creatures more powerful than her? Easy-peasy.

Taking an archangel of the lord out on a date?

Someone help her.

“Cálmate. Eres linda y fuerte. Estás lista.”

Tadea shakes her head. “No. No, no, no.” She isn’t ready. Sure, she might look pretty, might look the part, but she’d rather go fight a swarm of ghouls with one hand tied behind her back than do this right now. The consequences of screwing up seem less dire with the alternate scenario.

Then there’s a hand at the scruff of her neck and as much as she wants to fight against it, bare her teeth and snarl, she reminds herself that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to trust her alpha.

“But if you don’t go now, you’re going to be late,” Leo comments, his eyes warm.

Tadea’s go wide. “Why didn’t you say anything!” She bolts for the door to the apartment and slams it as she books it down the stairs.

Thirty seconds later she’s sprinting back up the stairs and nearly breaking the door down as she barges back in. “Purse!” The strange expression on her alpha’s face lets her know he’s trying hard not to laugh at her behavior. Fortunately, before he loses it, Leo picks up the black clutch and tosses it to her.

Fumbling out her keys, she raises them triumphantly over her head. “I’m off!” There’s a glow to her, and she even manages a wink this time. “Don’t wait up.”

“Have fun!” is the last thing she hears as once more she clatters down the dark, narrow stairs before bursting out into the fading daylight. The clutch is tossed unceremoniously into the back as she slides across the old leather bench seat, the engine roaring to life a second later.

A glance at the clock has her cursing under breath. She can’t be late. She’s been dreaming of this day for longer than she’d like to admit. Of course, she hadn’t known initially what Gabriel was, but it hadn’t mattered. The woman had come into her life and stolen her heart in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Some might say it was a childish crush, but Tadea had waited, bided her time. It hadn’t faded, and for fair reason. After the brilliance of Gabriel, other women seemed a dull in comparison. Smitten didn’t begin to cover it.

And then Gabriel had chosen her. The rough-around the edges, barely-passed-highschool mechanic over the brilliant alpha. This was the one thing Tadea had wanted for years, the one thing she truly would fight for. And her effort had paid off in a nearly unbelievable turn of events.

Her hands feel slick on the wheel, and it takes a concerted effort not to wipe them on her slacks. The price-tags had only come off this afternoon and she’d rather not get her outfit wrinkled before dinner starts. The material feels silky on her skin, and she hopes Gabriel likes it. For a moment she had contemplated getting a dress or skirt, but ultimately decided that her physique would look better in black slacks and the sleek sleeveless turtleneck top she’d gotten to go with it, leaving her arms bare.

Gabriel could kick her ass in a fight with a bend of her pinky finger, but Tadea figured she had to appreciate the hard-earned tone the werepanther had. It was one of her better assets, and it showed off her tattoos. She’d spent too much to get them to not show them off when she could.

Taking a corner harder than necessary and drawing a few scathing stares, she pulls her car into the parking lot of one of the classier restaurants on the bay.

Then she sits there and stares mindlessly off into the distance. Maybe this was a mistake. She’s going to stick out like a sore thumb here with her tattoos and hairstyle, not to mention she’s likely a good decade younger than everyone apart from the waitstaff.

Hell, she looks nearly a decade younger than her date. She frowns. Date? Girlfriend? Gabriel had said yes to the date so did that mean they are girlfriends now? Her heart thumps erratically in her chest at the thought. She’s never had a girlfriend before. Plenty of hookups, sure, but not someone she would take out on a date.

Not someone she would buy new clothes for and fuss over her appearance for hours hoping to live up to expectations.

Tadea groans. “I’m so fucking gay it’s a wonder I can function right now,” she grumbles, shaking her head, trying to rid herself of the nervous thoughts flitting around her head like so many gnats.

And then promptly scooting across the seat so she can see herself in the rearview mirror, afraid that she’d messed up her hair after finally getting all the strands to lay just so.

She jumps at the knock to her window. A familiar face peers in, lips stretched in an amused grin. Much to her horror, Tadea can feel the blush spreading through her cheeks.

“Coming out?” Gabriel mouths.

Nodding, Tadea buys herself some time by turning around and rummaging for her clutch. It’s fallen under the front seat, which necessitates her climbing half-way into the back to grab it. As she returns to the front seat she catches a glimpse of herself and groans. She’d been afraid of using too much product and causing her hair to look stiff so she’d tried to use as little as possible. The result is that now her hair is falling haphazardly over her head. This is why she doesn’t like purses. Much easier to jam a wallet into a pocket of her utility pants. Now she’s undone all of the hard work she’d put into looking presentable.

Dismay crosses her features. Gabriel’s right outside but if she hurries—

The door opens. “The date is happening out here, right?” she asks, her voice low and musical to Tadea’s ears, ears which now feel like they’re on fire.

“Yea, just a moment,” she mumbles, trying her best to hastily sweep the strands back into something resembling neat. A hand taps her shoulder, and she turns reluctantly to face Gabriel. The woman is leaning down, nearly in half, to see into her classic car.

“Come on gorgeous,” she murmurs in that smooth voice of hers. “You’d think being as old as I am I’d have learned patience, but I don’t want to wait another minute for this.” Her hand is palm up, inviting Tadea to take it.

Blushing furiously, annoyed at herself for still primping in the car while Gabriel is waiting, Tadea places her hand in Gabriel’s. It’s warm, calloused like hers which is oddly comforting. It’s a reminder that while Gabriel might seem worlds away from her at times, they have a lot in common.

She’s pulled out of the car and given her first good look at her date. Now she feels underdressed, and these are the most expensive clothes she ownss. Gabriel is stunning, the colors perfect for her complexion, the flow of the fabric accentuating her form.

“Hold still,” Gabriel instructs. Tadea is glad she said it though because she cannot move and finds it unlikely that she will be able to in the near future, still recovering from taking in her date.

Her. Date.

She swallows, her palms starting to feel sweaty again, her heart picking up speed. Adrenaline she’s familiar with, but she’s used to channeling it into fighting. Uncertainty makes her tongue heavy and she’s stuck staring silently and up close at Gabriel’s face as the taller woman bends over her, fussing with her hair. Her fingers are gentle against her scalp, comforting and intimate at the same time.

All too soon she’s pulling away, lips curled with satisfaction. “There you are. Though, for the record, I think how you style it normally is just fine too,” she comments, sweeping around and striding towards the sidewalk up to the restaurant.

Tadea scrambles after her, feeling completely uncoordinated, legs leaden and head spinning. Pull it together pendejo, she thinks to herself, catching up and offering her arm to Gabriel. One eyebrow raises.

“That’s still a custom after all these years?”

Tadea’s tongue darts out, wetting her lips before she speaks. “If you like I can kiss your hand, make you feel more at home,” she offers.

A soft laugh greets her proposal. “Maybe later,” Gabriel says, shaking her head. “Humans are such strange creatures…”

Tadea wrinkles her nose as they approach the double doors. “I’m not a human,” she reminds Gabriel gently. The archangel waves her hand in a dismissive motion.

They draw attention as they walk together. She can’t fault the onlookers; even in her work clothes in the middle of the night, sleep deprived, bags under her eyes and everything wrinkled and half-tucked, Gabriel was beautiful.

Today, dressed up, she shines like a supernova. In comparison, Tadea might as well be a remora, Gabriel the beautiful and deadly shark that she’s clinging too, attempting to prove herself not a parasite.

“Is my company so boring I cannot hold your attention for even a few minutes?”

The question makes Tadea blink, then shake her head. “Sorry, no, that’s not it at all. I can’t think about anything but you at the moment.”

Gabriel makes a noncommittal noise and reaches for the handle. Tadea tries to beat her to it, but the disadvantage of having a taller date manifests itself in the fact that she can’t reach the handle before her date. “I might suggest ceasing thinking about me and instead talking to me,” she says as she holds the door open for Tadea.

“You could have let me get it,” Tadea tells Gabriel, eyeing her sideways as they step into the cool interior of the restaurant. “You already opened my car door for me.”

“So I did,” Gabriel agrees, the door closing softly behind them. “It is no trouble, Tadea. Relax. Human courting rituals may change over the centuries but a simple door opening is not the end of the world.”

“I’m—not human,” she repeats.

“I’m aware,” Gabriel says dryly. “But many of your behaviors, customs, and rituals are. Or at least, have the appearance of being.” She falls silent as they walk up to the hostess.

“Guerrero, party of two,” Tadea says. The hostess glances at her, and Tadea catches a glimpse of nictitating membrane sliding across what would otherwise appear to be a perfectly normal human eye.

She’s beginning to think there’s very few humans in New Jericho.

They follow her out to the balcony over the water, to a quiet corner table where they’re left alone with two menus.

“As I was saying—humans borrow and steal, blend and appropriate as they like. They are an extremely adaptable species, very compatible with a wide variety of creatures from across the planes. Many of what they consider to be their habits are simply things they have gleaned from other, older races.”

Tadea isn’t sure what to say in response to that, so she switches topics.

“The ambience here is nice.” There are floating lanterns below, bobbing gently in the harbor, and a candle in a hurricane glass on the table, surrounded by a wreath of fresh flowers. Primroses, if she’s not mistaken.

“It’s strange.” Gabriel looks out over the water, drumming her fingers against the bottom of her chin. “Candles were necessary for so long as a light source. I’m not sure it was considered particularly romantic; it just was. Now that humans have advanced past that level of technology they regard it with a certain fondness. A soft spot for archaic things.”

“Maybe, but I think something like a gondola ride or—or a horse drawn carriage is romantic,” Tadea says with a small shrug. “Being archaic or old,” she adds, her smile curling up with mischief, “isn’t such a bad thing.”

Gabriel looks at her, her expression flat. For a moment Tadea fears she’s offered insult, ruining the date before their waters have arrived. That would have to be some kind of record.

“No, I suppose not,” Gabriel finally responds, one side of her mouth tugging up. She takes the glasses of water from their waiter as he arrives, thanking him in a tongue that isn’t of human origin.

“Fae,” she explains for Tadea. “At least part. Likely some sort of selkie hybrid, possibly naiad. Or would that be oceanid? They’re really all of a similar species but I suppose they do have their preference in type of water.”

Tadea opens the menu. “I don’t really know a lot about other supernaturals. Not like we had a ‘how to be a werepanther’ class or anything that also covered the other types of creatures we might encounter.” She looks over the top of the menu at Gabriel.

“Finding out that angels are real was a nice treat, though.”

Gabriel blinks slowly, before a smile curves her lips. “I have quite enjoyed my interactions with werepanthers as well,” she says languidly, the words soft and intimate. One of her fingers runs around the rim of the water glass, creating a low ringing sound.

“I thought only crystal did that,” Tadea blurts out, curious and happy to latch onto a subject that won’t lead to her blushing.

Gabriel quirks her lips. “I’m not entirely playing fair,” she admits. “Nervous habit.”

“You’re nervous?” Tadea asks, her voice rising in disbelief.

“Are you so surprised?” Gabriel asks in return, leaning back in her chair, showing off her long frame.

“Well, yea,” Tadea admits, rubbing the back of her neck. “You are kind of a few millennia old archangel of God. I would think this is all run of the mill for you.”

Gabriel’s brow furrows. “I’m sorry,” she says after a beat, “but my Babylon matrix isn’t translating that. Could you explain?”

Tadea mentally slaps herself. Good going. Confuse your date; I’m sure that’s a brilliant strategy.

“It’s an idiom meaning that this is ordinary or routine for you.”

“Ah.” Gabriel turns her head to look out over the water. “No, no I wouldn’t say that.”

“You’ve… never gone on a date before?” Tadea can’t conceal the shock in her voice.

Gabriel looks back out of the corner of her eye, eyebrow arched. “Not like this.”

“But—but—!”

“But what?” Gabriel asks, turning around fully. “You’ve said it yourself: I’m an archangel. Dating doesn’t come with the territory. It’s not forbidden, but angels don’t often take a mate. I think I know more angels who have Fallen for creating Nephilim than I know who have another angel for a mate. And dating outside of angels is—discouraged.” The way she says the last word is like it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

Tadea frowns, her eyebrows drawing low. “That seems kind of depressing.”

Gabriel gives a shrug, her expression resuming its normal inscrutable mask. “You haven’t dated before either, or at least that’s what I’ve surmised from your behavior.”

“Well, no, but I’ve been a bit busy trying not to die for most of my life and then crushing on a certain archangel since then.” The server comes back, and Tadea has to request a few more minutes, feeling bad that she hasn’t glanced over the menu at all yet.

“I could tell a very similar tale myself,” Gabriel muses, flipping open the menu.

“You’re making this up to make me feel good,” Tadea accuses. “I’m not anything remarkable. There’s no way I’m the first person you’ve ever had a desire to take out on a date.”

Gabriel snaps her menu shut and lays it down. There’s a crispness to her words, cutting Tadea to the quick. “No, you’re not remarkable.”

Tadea bites down on her lower lip. Her eyes rove over the printed words rather than look at Gabriel, but she sees nothing.

“You’re not an alpha, though we both know you could have been. You’re not particularly gifted in any area with the exception of fighting and perhaps mechanics, though the former seems an unhealthy obsession at times and the latter seems less innovative and more routine.”

Tadea clenches her jaw. After a few beats she sets her menu down as well, meeting Gabriel’s gaze for the first time without a trace of nervousness.

“Then why are we here?” she demands, voice low. Whatever happens, she refuses to make a scene. She refuses to give any of the people who look at her and think they know her type a reason to believe themselves superior, and that includes her would-be date.

“I cannot answer that for you,” Gabriel states.

“I think you just did,” Tadea says, starting to get to her feet. Faster than her enhanced reflexes can track, Gabriel seizes her wrist.

“Sit down.”

It’s not a question, and Tadea finds her butt back in her seat, heat crawling up her neck. Taking orders wasn’t something she had ever enjoyed with her previous partners, preferring instead to fight for dominance—quite literally, most of the time. With Gabriel, though, it feels—well, like lightning shooting through her veins, nerves from her toes to her head sending signals to her brain and making her entire body flush. Desire, irritation, and a touch of awe mingle.

Gabriel is an aphrodisiac all on her own. Eyes glittering in the dark, the soft glow of the candlelight making her wonder just how Gabriel must look when not bound to a mortal form. She’s already taller than most people and turns heads everywhere she goes. Was her light bright, scorching? Or was it soft and gentle? Something inbetween? How much of her was avenging angel and how much was this… tired and world-weary being?

It’s not a bad date, not really. Not that Tadea has been on a lot of dates to compare against, but the company is good, and the food she sees being served up looks and smells delicious. The conversation hasn’t been terrible either.

Except for the whole part where Gabriel had practically admitted to being here out of some stray sense of curiosity.

“Stop.” Her voice is clear but softer now, charging through the cacophony of Tadea’s thoughts. “I’m… I have watched the world for a long time, Tadea. I have seen a great many things. I have met some of humankind’s most brilliant specimens, seen what they call miracles up close and personal.”

Tadea focuses on the way her water glass sweats, cool drops rolling down the sides, picking up speed as they join other droplets. It’s easier to focus on than to see the light turn away from her, than to see Gabriel decide that this was a mistake.

“Tadea, please look at me. Please.”

Irked, Tadea gives in, raising her dark eyes to meet Gabriel’s. They’re wide open, and she’s leaning across the table towards the werepanther, the long-fingered hand on her wrist flipping Tadea’s hand over and stroking the calloused palm. It takes all her control not to shiver at the touch. Gabriel isn’t playing fair and Tadea doesn’t understand what game they’re playing anymore.

“There are books with names, important figures in the movement of the world. Yours isn’t in it.” Surprise, surprise. Tadea is a nobody. She’d always known that. It wasn’t her father who had ruled the pack. It wasn’t her mother who organized the resistance to the encroaching alpha. Her father had been killed without doing anything but being an ordinary member of the pack and her mother had been dead or as good as for longer.

“You’re doing it again.”

The note of wry amusement in Gabriel’s dry observation has her wrinkling her nose, withdrawing her hand and folding her arms across her chest. “So?”

“Would you at least wait until I finish talking before getting cross with me? This is a new occurrence for me.” Gabriel’s lips twitch up, relaxed despite the tension Tadea felt mounting in her body. Fight or flight seems like a valid response here. Sensing her reluctance, Gabriel presses her further. “You can teach an old cat new tricks but it might take nine lives.”

Tadea blinks, and suddenly giggles. Horrified, she claps a hand over her mouth, not having anticipated the sound to be so loud or so high-pitched.

Gabriel beams, before abruptly frowning. “I didn’t say that right, did I?” she asks, shoulders slumping, dejection heavy in her voice.

Taking pity on her date—she is quite old and if this really is her first time dating, then it is perhaps unfair to expect her to be better—Tadea holds up three fingers. “Curiosity killed the cat.” She lowers a finger. “Cats have nine lives.” Another finger goes down. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

“Well that’s just nonsense. Curiosity only kill the unprepared, cats do not have nine lives—at least not ordinary house cats. Perhaps some varieties of creatures that look like cats but no actual earth-origin cat. Unless you found a necromancer I suppose and brought it back but I think that counts as an unlife not a—”

Another snort escapes Tadea, though this time she doesn’t hide her laughter behind her hand.

Gabriel’s lower lip juts out and she slowly flutters long lashes at Tadea.

“That’s not going to work on me.”

“You can teach an old dog new tricks,” Gabriel wheedles.

Tadea shakes her head. “Nope. But—” she holds up a single finger. “I might be willing to try and teach an angel new tricks.”

Gabriel’s eyes light up. “So you’ll wait?”

“If you get to your point,” Tadea comments. “Our poor waiter is going to come back and we’re still not going to have an answer for him.”

“Well I certainly know what I would love to eat,” Gabriel murmurs, and there’s nothing innocent about the way she says it. Dating might be new, but clearly seduction was not.

“Gabriel,” Tadea hisses. Holding up her hands, she leans back.

“As I was saying: you are ordinary.” Her eyes soften, her head canting as she looks at Tadea, unblinking. Tadea wonders if she has any idea the kind of instincts that triggers. Gabriel’s not another werepanther so it’s unlikely. It’s a silly child’s game for the most part, but the urge to stare back and see who blinks first is nearly overwhelming.

She resists, though, forcing herself to blink.

“Humans seem to regard ordinary as a terminal condition. And I’m sorry my dear, I don’t mean to offer insult, but many of the weres and other supernatural creatures that dwell on this plane have adopted human behaviors by and large to assist in blending in so for the purposes of brevity I shall simply use humans as a generalization.”

Tadea nods, hoping Gabriel will get to her point sooner rather than later.

“You have to understand… most mortal creatures aren’t worth the notice of immortals. Not as individuals. And it’s not that you’re not interesting or that we don’t care, but when you know something will die and be like a brief flare of light in your life… well in the absent of that light the darkness seems that much more intense for having seen it otherwise, if that makes sense?”

Tadea realizes something as she watches Gabriel. Her date’s posture isn’t tense, it’s perfectly poised. She doesn’t twitch or fiddle, no toe-tapping or finger-drumming. There’s no outwards signs of nervousness, except that she’s a touch to perfect with her posture, with the way her fingers wrap around her water glass or the way her long legs are crossed neatly at the ankles beneath the table.

The archangel is nervous.

For the first time tonight, Tadea breathes out slowly, a weight lifting from her shoulders. All this babbling, these round-about words bordering on insulting, all of it is the archangel’s way of being embarrassed. Flustered, even, if the touch of a blush on her cheeks is natural and not due to the assistance of make-up.

“This assignment wasn’t part of my plan. And then I expected to be here for some two decades or so to raise the boy to adulthood. I figured it would be over and done with quickly and I could go back to watching, as we angels do so well.”

Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips. “I never expected to be here.”

Tadea, having found her footing, cannot resist teasing the angel across the table from her. “At a restaurant on the bay run by fae? I mean we can always run to the fish and chips stand down closer to the shipping docks.”

A peal of bright laughter tears from Gabriel’s lips, her eyes crinkling at the corner. “There she is!” she exclaims, teeth flashing in a stunning smile. “There’s the woman I was hoping would show up for our date.”

Tadea shrugs one shoulder, leaning back, at ease. “No pressure dating a literal archangel of God or anything, you know? I had to buy new clothes to be sure that I wouldn’t have grease on anything. It gets everywhere.”

Gabriel arches an eyebrow. “I’m eager to see the extent of the truth of that statement,” she murmurs.

Tadea narrows her eyes playfully. “Finish your explanation. I’m still not impressed.”

“You’re still here.”

“You’re hot,” Tadea counters. “And this—seared Chilean sea bass with rosemary potatoes and herb sauce sound delicious. If I’m going to get all dressed up the least I can do is get a good dinner out of it.”

More soft laughter greets her words.

“Fine. As I was saying, I didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect to meet this young woman who is resilient and fierce and loyal, with a heart she tries to hide behind thorns but is more beautiful than any rose.”

“Now you’re just piling on flattery,” Tadea says, too quickly to sound casual.

“It’s not flattery if it’s true.” Gabriel is staring at her again, and this time Tadea doesn’t blink, getting lost in her eyes. Maybe it’s her own personal bias, but there are depths to Gabriel’s eyes that other creatures seem to lack. They’ve seen so much, and normally there’s a flat affect to them, a general disinterest born of seeing too much of the awful side of life.

It was a look Tadea had seen in many of the survivors of the previous alpha’s takeover.

Now though, there’s a spark. A twinkle of delight that Gabriel seems unsure of how to handle. “And it is true. You aren’t remarkable because some celestial force has your name in a book or someone wrote a prophecy. Yes, being a werepanther sets you apart. Your skill as a fighter and as a mechanic sets you apart. Even your beauty sets you apart. But it’s—it’s not given to you. You are unique, in ways that I have to pay attention to notice.”

The waiter comes up, and this time they both hastily give an order, neither one interested in delaying the meal further but eager to return to their conversation. The fae gives an appraising glance at the pair of them.

“A bottle of champagne for the sweethearts, on the House,” he declares before gliding away.

Tadea inclines her head. “He knows you aren’t a null, doesn’t he?”

It’s Gabriel’s turn to shrug nonchalantly. “Let’s just say that the dialect I spoke is both old and most often used by powerful fae.”

“Sneaky,” she comments, taking the napkin and moving it to her lap, smoothing it out over her legs. Gabriel copies her motions.

“Age often leads to wisdom which sometimes leads to a certain canniness that could be described as sneakiness,” she demurs. “Now—let me finish. You are… amazing, Tadea Guerrero.”

She rolls her r’s now, something she hadn’t done the first time she had tried to say her last name. It’s obvious she’s been practicing, and not with Tadea. Perhaps it seems small and insignificant, but for Tadea, it makes her heart warm.

“You couldn’t have just said that from the beginning?” she asks, her voice coming out in a hoarse rasp, emotions clogging her throat.

“I was trying. I am… before you I thought I knew the world. I thought I knew all about it and the banal, insipid creatures that went about their lives. I thought that this would be a torture, that I would be bored out of my mind.”

Once more Gabriel reaches out across the table, grabbing Tadea’s hand.

“You caught me off-guard, and your devotion, your belief… Tadea, I don’t know that I deserve any of it, but for the first time in a long time, I have something to work towards that is for me. Well… for us.”

Heart pounding, Tadea squeezes Gabriel’s hand. “I like that.”

An eyebrow climbs. “That?”

“The idea of us.” Her smile is broad as she leans forward. “You already know full well that I like you.”

Gabriel grins. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I think the Babylon Matrix—”

“¡Por el amor de Dios!” Tadea exclaims, rolling her eyes. “That works one time, chica,” she tells her archangel, wagging a finger. “Una vez.”

Not the least bit perturbed, Gabriel shrugs. “Worth a try. Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of other things I’ve been dying to try out.”

Tadea shakes her head, her grin stretching wider. She hadn’t been sure what to expect from a date with an archangel, but so far she wouldn’t change a thing. Raising her glass, and gesturing for Gabriel to do the same, she clinks the water together. “To figuring this out, together,” she murmurs.

“Together,” Gabriel echoes, and drains the water.

#Ko-fi request #extra #Tadea #Tadea ro #f!Gabriel #Thanks for the coffee!#Hope you enjoy #Kofi Request

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zeravmeta · 5 years

Text

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

#zerav meta #zerav review #vr review #i really went ham on this one

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luxexhomines · 5 years

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Hello, can i please have a headcanon of Gundham, Kazuichi, Leon, Kiyotaka and mondo, who try to comfort their S/O who is very stress because their family think be bigender is "not normal" ?

Thanks for the request! I don’t know that I can write for a bigender reader as far as their perspective goes, so these headcanons are all just about comfort and the way the boys react to your distress from your not-so-understanding family.Hopefully, they’re all in character.

No cut; let me know if you’d like one. Icon credit to phasedistort! Here we go!

Gundham, Kazuichi, Leon, Kiyotaka, & Mondo Comforting Bigender! S/O Headcanons

Gundham Tanaka

He’s never been really great at comforting people or had great people skills in general, truthfully. He wonders how he even managed to get as lovely of a s/o as you!

But to see you in such distress after coming out to your family makes his heart ache, so if you’re crying or moping, he’ll sit next to you and offer grandiose affirmations in the chuunibyou language he speaks as well as a box of tissues. “O Majestic Ruler, you are above any of the plebeians that cry false, disparaging claims about your utterly sublime character and state of being!”

He’ll bring you comfort food like ice cream and cookies, or whatever you like to eat! If it has meat, he might be kind of reluctant, but seeing your face, he’ll agree.

And oh, does he have the ultimate cuddlers with him. The hamsters are kind of small to cuddle, but he has no problem getting you dogs, cats, bunnies, or whatever else you’d like to pet. You know Gundham, he’d probably even leash and tame a bear so you could hug it–that is, if you dare.

If you’re allergic to fur, that’s pretty sad, but he’ll go to costco to get a huge teddy bear or your bedroom if you have some at home so you can have something soft & cuddly!

Oh, but if you ask to cuddle him… He’s gonna be severely shy, so you’d probably have to hunt him down or tackle him. Or he’ll accept, seeing the state you’re in, while his cheeks are permanently dyed a gloriously deep red.

If you cuddle him in bed at night while sleeping, he’s probably not going to sleep the entire night although he won’t admit it, so you should probably spare him and hug the teddy bear instead. He gets pretty out of it when he doesn’t have his sleep.

Gundham’s there for you all the way, behind the scenes! He’s your errand boy and cuddly toy, even if he won’t say so himself.

Kazuichi Souda

He’s another one of the type that is unsure about how to deal with distressed people, so he will be at your beck and call and asks you constantly if there’s anything he can do for you, to the point that you might find it a little annoying, although his devotion to you is endearing.

If you ask him to help you through the holidays with your family by going with you back to your home, where your presence has not been requested but required despite their discomfort with your gender, he’ll be honored that you feel like you can rely on him with such an important job.

Your family might not be too approving of your boyfriend, seeing his bright pink hair and the way he looks kind of like a delinquent…but to them, at least it proves that you can love normally despite being bigender, so they’ll kind of accept him. Kind of.

There are, of course, times when your family, not thinking being bigender is normal, will make bigoted comments about your sexuality at the dinner table, which will definitely rile him up. You’ll have to reach under the table and squeeze his hand to keep him from standing up or arguing with them.

After the dinner, he’ll rant to you about your family and then shut up abruptly, realizing that they are still your family. You’ll have to reassure him that it’s okay, and you know he has good intentions.

His reactions–or what would have been, at least–make you feel a bittersweet joy, because you know that he’s on your side and expresses what you wish you could to your family.

When you cry, it’s enough for him to want to pick up the phone and give your family an angry phone call or storm over there, but you always stop him, knowing it won’t solve anything.

To control his anger, he’ll go to his garage and fiddle with his gadgets, where he might just make a mini-you robot. Or a hundred of them. Depends on his mood.

This boy will get angry on your behalf, and if it’s not your family making you cry, he’ll gladly go and take them down a peg, never mind that being a mechanic isn’t particularly intimidating.

Leon Kuwata

Here’s another one with a hot-blooded temper and will actually argue with your family after they say something about how being bigender is abnormal or how you must be mistaken about your gender; apart from words, even physically making contact with him won’t calm him down, and your strength is hardly enough to hold back the Ultimate Baseball Player.

You don’t take him back with you for the holidays when you go to see your family because he simply can’t control himself, but he will check in on you over text and phone calls everyday.

If he ever finds out you’re crying at your family’s house, he’ll probably jump on a plane, train, car, or public transportation to get to your family’s home so he can comfort you. And maybe beat someone up.

When you’re thinking about the whole situation and feel down, Leon will play some music for you on the guitar, maybe sing as he strums some tunes. He’ll encourage you to sing along if you have the spirits, but won’t be pushy about it.

He might even suggest playing a simple game of catch, if it’ll take your mind off of things. Doing something single-mindedly can help get you out of your funk, according to him, and throwing a ball around is surprisingly meditative.

When you just want to be comforted, Leon will let you sit in his lap, let you rest your head in his lap, cover you in lots of blankets.

If you eat tons of ice cream or other comfort foods, he’ll eat with you.

Overall, Leon’s kind of a wild card with lots of anger, but he will offer plenty of camaraderie no matter what’s going on.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

You know how he is–he gets riled up easily, but as he doesn’t condone violence, he would never try to fight your family, at least not physically. Word are another story, but he’ll sit, beg and lay down, whatever you command, since they are your family.

He will have lots of healthy coping methods for the stress you accumulate in his back pocket! Or he’ll research them for you, like the sweet & caring cinnamon roll he is.

He’ll try all the coping methods with you, one by one! He’s probably not a big believer of meditation or praying, but whatever helps you–he just wants you to feel better and deal with your stress in a healthy way!

When you begin to cry, hyperventilate, or panic, he’ll sit you down at the couch and rub soothing circles on your back while murmuring affirmations to you. About every ten minutes, he might check in with you and ask if you’re feeling better, worse, or the same, and if there’s anything he can do to help.

If you ask to cuddle, he might object and say it’s indecent with red painted all over his cheeks, but if you give him a puppy dog look, he’ll agree reluctantly. He’ll likely be very stiff and nervous, but will relax over time. Maybe.

When you’re wanting to eat something, he’ll suggest healthy foods too, like carrots or celery, which are crunchy enough that you can maybe take out some of your anger on them without eating anything too bad for your body.

But if you want ice cream, chips or sweets, he’ll oblige–but he’ll insist on buying it for you so he can check the ingredients and choose the best options from the selection of not so healthy foods.

You can count on him if you want to bring him back for the holidays not to do anything drastic, though he might have a couple outbursts. He just loves you too much, he can’t help it if someone else is causing you to suffer or saying horrible things about you!

He’s just a sweet boy who will try to make sure you cope with all the stress in a way that is healthy and conducive to yourself and the people around you for your own good.

Mondo Oowada

You know him, he has the shortest temper of them all. There is absolutely no way you’d ever bring him back home over the holidays for support because he’d end up causing you more anxiety over fights rather than giving you peace of mind as you weather the storm. Although the sight of him would probably be more than enough to stop your family from making ignorant and hurtful comments.

You know he’d jump on his motorbike and ride over to rescue you and maybe punch out the lights of some people there, so you try to ride the rollercoaster of emotions, take good care of yourself, make sure you are in good shape for daily calls with him, and for the most part it works.

Sometimes when you mention a comment from your family about how bigender probably wasn’t a thing and that you were just going through a phase, he starts ranting about them and swearing loudly, forgetting that technically, you’re just as capable of doing so yourself if you want to.

Otherwise, you mostly use him as a giant teddy bear–albeit, his chest is more muscular than soft.

You like to cling onto him and beg for piggyback rides, though, and when he asks if you’re a kid in an irritated manner, you answer that you are when he’s around, so he bends down to let you climb on. His gruff manner does nothing to disguise his love for you, which is comfort in itself.

When you break down in front of him, he feels powerless and helpless, not knowing how he could ever lift you up. But he doesn’t let his selfish desire to remain in control take over; he accompanies you through the long night, staying at your side loyally and holding you close.

If you’re fine with it, he’ll ask to take you on a ride on his motorcycle in the dead of night, the comfortable breeze combing through your hair and the moon guiding your journey down countless empty streets.

He is super down for comfort food. Greasy fast food? Sugary ice cream? Bags and bags of salty chips? He’ll take you anywhere and buy you anything–heck, he’ll eat all the same things, too.

He’s a solid partner when you need support; he doesn’t succumb to the pressures of a toxic masculinity culture and especially not when he takes care of you, because he knows it’s all about you when you ask him to be there for you. He’ll be vulnerable with you, too, if you want.

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sage-nebula · 5 years

Text

Lotor deserved better. Lotor deserved better because all of us who were abused throughout our childhoods and adolescences deserved better. And because I can’t stop thinking about this, I’m going to get a little personal under the cut.

Like many survivors of child abuse, I keyed in on and saw a lot of myself in Lotor. Personality-wise, I am and have always been a lot closer to Keith; but seeing the way Lotor developed as a direct result of his abuse, paired with how he reacted when faced with his abusers, was something that spoke to me on a deep, personal level. I’ve faced abuse from a few different sources in my life, but the worst of it came from my biological mother. She is the one who---even now, thirteen years later---shows up in nightmares of mine from time to time. When I had to be in the same space as her three years ago for my sister’s wedding, I was riding a panic attack the entire time. At one point she started toward me, and my fight-or-flight response kicked in before I could restrain it and I bolted. I was ashamed. I felt like a coward. And I suppose that’s one way you could say that Lotor and I differ, that he faced his abusers and even killed one of them.

But even as I write that, I remember that’s not the case. The only reason Lotor faced Zarkon the way he did was because he was given no other choice. Lotor, when given the opportunity, willingly flew along the surface of a sun even as it burned him in order to escape his abuser. He only faced Zarkon when he was betrayed by those he’d sought asylum from and handed over like a bargaining chip. There was real, true fear in his eyes when Zarkon attacked him. Lotor did not fight because he wanted to. He did so because if he didn’t---or if he did, and then he lost---he would die.

The thing is, what the Paladins did to Lotor in that episode was wrong. It was wrong on every single conceivable level. It was wrong from a political standpoint, in that they were not only aligning themselves with a tyrannical dictator and making a deal with him, but also that they were treating someone who’d surrendered himself as a prisoner of war like an item to be used and discarded. It was morally wrong, as well, because even if you consider that they didn’t know the full history between Zarkon and Lotor, they knew that Lotor had sought asylum from them to escape Zarkon, who had declared that he wanted Lotor dead on sight. Lotor came to them for aid, and they responded by handing him back to his abuser, one who they knew would kill him, for personal (not even political, not even for the “greater good,” but personal) gain. Everything about that entire exchange was disgustingly, horrifyingly wrong.

But despite this being the case, the Paladins are never called on it. They’re never forced to reconsider their actions, outside of, “oh no, how could we have not known that Zarkon would try to trick us?” They’re never forced to face karmic retribution for what they did. They are treated, by the creators and the narrative alike, as though what they did was morally acceptable and even just. The only dissension we see over the situation is Allura yelling at Shireplica for giving Lotor the Black Bayard, which was the only form of defense he had against Zarkon; we’re supposed to see what Shireplica did as being underhanded, sneaky, and even wrong, even though it is the only reason that Lotor survived. (And even then, when Shireplica defends his actions, this is not what he points out. He instead points out that Zarkon is dead. What we’re left to gather from this is that if Lotor had died in the attempt, Shireplica wouldn’t mind so much. Zarkon’s death was worth more than Lotor’s life.)

This, truly, should have been the biggest and brightest red flag for all of us, and believe me, it didn’t go unnoticed by me. I never posted it, but after season five I wrote an entire post about how morally corrupt and awful the Paladins were for that exchange, about how they treated Lotor like an object rather than a person, about how none of them argued even once for the value of Lotor’s life as a person, but rather talked about whether he was of more use to them alive or dead. (Which, mind you, would be fine if the show presented the Paladins as morally grey at best, making hard decisions in the face of war---but it didn’t. At no point during the show’s run were we supposed to see Team Voltron as anything more than admirable heroes. It’s what makes their behavior so appalling.) But even still, I held out hope going into season six that Lotor would be treated well, that his abuse at the hands of Zarkon, Haggar, and (as we came to find out in season six) Dayak would be treated with the levity and respect it deserved.

Long story short: It wasn’t and it caused me to drop the show.

Long story long:

At the end of season six, Lotor was not only handed over to his other primary abuser (Haggar), but in the end he suffers a mental breakdown, is revealed to be evil, and is shown to be no better than his abusers. He dies, alone and abandoned, in the quintessence field. And just in case anyone walked away from the season believing that we weren’t supposed to see Lotor as being evil as a direct result of his abuse, Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery confirmed that was indeed the intention in an interview:

“It was a very bad hand. That deck was stacked against him in every way in his upbringing. If he had this amazing accepting family that Allura had, he probably would have been a magnificent person. He had to live his life the only way he could, and a lot of that was through manipulation and doing things the only way he could get them done. It’s tragic.”

[. . .]

An unintentional parallel the behind the scenes team recognized was between Keith and Lotor. Keith had his own difficult upbringing, never meeting his mother and losing his father at a young age. He was very angry and combative and, as Dos Santos explains, “(he) could’ve gone the same way (as Lotor) but Shiro was that positive light in his life.”

“Keith had better people around him,” adds Montgomery, “and Lotor didn’t have that support system, so we see how it ended up.”

i.e: Because Lotor suffered childhood and adolescent abuse and didn’t have a positive parental figure (e.g. Shiro) in his life, he ended up evil, just like his abusers.

It doesn’t matter how “tragic” Montgomery claims this to be. The fact remains that in their view, if you grew up abused and without a support system and survived the only way you knew how, ultimately, that means you’re going to end up being a horrible, twisted person regardless of your intentions, rather than the ~*~magnificent~*~ person you could have been. In worlds created by Montgomery and Dos Santos, there is no other end result for people like us.

This was what caused me to drop the show, along with the fact that the show and fanbase were a combined source of massive stress in my life. This, ultimately, was what did it. I had plenty of other problems with the show, but knowing that this is how Dos Santos and Montgomery viewed people like me---knowing that this is what they thought of people like me, like Lotor---was the final straw. I couldn’t do it anymore. So I stopped watching. I walked away. To this day, I’ve not seen a single scene of season seven (and I’ve only seen patches of eight, to see how it ended and to see the Lotor flashbacks + a couple scenes with my galra girls) and I don’t intend to change that. My one consolation was that at least Lotor was dead, so they couldn’t do any more damage to him, or people like us.

I was wrong.

The childhood flashbacks in season eight were fine. I’ve been continuously unimpressed by people who act like the fact that Lotor was a survivor of abuse throughout his entire childhood and adolescence was some big revelation that only happened and humanized him this season, but the flashbacks themselves were fine and even enjoyable in the sense that it was nice to see Lotor behaving in character again after the mess that was the season six finale. It also felt a bit . . . cathartic, in a way, because as painful and heartbreaking as it was, simultaneously I knew what Lotor was feeling and so it was sort of like . . . seeing how he handled it, that he handled it was a reminder that I had as well. It was a strange sort of catharsis. On top of getting to see Lotor at different stages in his life, that aspect was enjoyable (for lack of a better word) as well.

But that is where it ends.

Not only did they deign to show Lotor’s brutalized, mangled corpse at one point (only from the back to keep it appropriate for children by American television standards, but all the same), but they also gave him a “happy ending” in the afterlife with his abusive parents.

In all honesty, that bothers me more than the corpse did.

The corpse was disgusting. I wish I hadn’t seen it, and I haven’t seen it in the episode itself. I saw a screencap floating around tumblr. It’s funny, in a way, because my best friend warned me it happened and said, and I quote, “I don’t want you to see it.” And I appreciate that, and I wish I hadn’t seen it (I already had by the time she told me), but even that’s not what bothers me most. What bothers me most is the ending they gave him, the one that Dos Santos and Montgomery no doubt view as “happy” when in reality it’s anything but.

I mentioned earlier that I have nightmares about my biological mother. I do. They’re C-PTSD nightmares, in that they’re a direct result of the permanent trauma I’ve grown with as a result of what she did to me (because unlike incidental PTSD, which occurs from one thing, C-PTSD occurs from prolonged abuse and, when it happens in childhood/adolescence, develops the way you grow; it’s permanently affected my personality and I do not know who I would be today if all that hadn’t happened to me). But they’re not flashbacks to things she did. Rather, these dreams . . . usually, these nightmares take place in the present day, and for some reason I’ll be living with her again. The reason why is never explained in the dream, but she’ll be here, in my home, or I’ll be stuck in her house. And I’ll know in the dream that this is the way things are and have to be, but I’ll be miserable about it, I’ll be terrified, and I’ll feel there’s no way out but there’s nothing I can do. Oftentimes, she doesn’t do anything horrible to me in the dream; it’s her presence that’s enough to cause that, just as it was enough to cause me to flee at my sister’s wedding. Each time I have one of these dreams I wake up with my heart racing, and I’m “off” for the rest of the day. At one point, a close friend of mine thought I was angry with her because I was so distant when she saw me. Turns out, I wasn’t mad at her. I was dissociating for an entire day because I, at age twenty-eight, had another C-PTSD nightmare about being forced to live with my biological mother again.

And that’s what Dos Santos and Montgomery doomed Lotor to, for the rest of eternity: A nightmare from which he can never wake.

This is why that ending bothers me more than the shot of his corpse: Because I would rather die a thousand deaths by immolation than ever, ever have to live with my biological mother ever again. Lotor, having once flown along the surface of a sun to escape his father, no doubt feels the same way. Yet that’s the hand he’s been dealt: He now has to spend eternity with both of his abusers. The way it was framed (from what I know---I’ve only seen screencaps, admittedly), he’s supposedly supposed to be happy about this. Supposedly, Honerva regrets what she’s done and truly loves him. To that I say: I am still, and will never stop being, disgusted with the “mothers can’t truly hate and abuse their children, only fathers are true parental abusers” narrative that is pushed time and time again by media. I also say: That’s absolute nonsense and we all know it.

Dos Santos and Montgomery have told us, in their own words, what they think of survivors of child abuse who didn’t have positive support systems. I remember Dos Santos also saying that he knows people who don’t accept their biological parents as their parents, which implies to me that he doesn’t know what this is like first hand. I’m not surprised if that’s the case, for either of them. They gave Lotor the greatest punishment they could have ever given him. Letting him die in relative peace, to be released to the nothingness of death, would have been kinder than this, even if his body was burned along the way. But this? An eternity where there is no escape from Zarkon or Honerva? Even worse still, an eternity that he somehow believes will be different (out of character) simply because Zarkon and Honerva are behaving appropriately now, in front of an audience, when we all know that the cycle of abuse always has an end to the honeymoon phase so an abusive incident can happen again later?

It’s the worst fate imaginable. If I was given a choice upon my death of spending an eternity in Heaven with my biological mother, or an eternity in Hell without her, I would choose the latter. I would do whatever it took to get away from her. I know---I know---Lotor feels the same way about his parents. That his ending has stuck him with them regardless, and tried to play as though he was happy about it, shows us once and for all what kind of respect Dos Santos and Montgomery have for survivors of child abuse:

None.

(I shared a lot of personal stuff here, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t reblog this. Likes and replies are fine, but no reblogs. Thank you.)

#/#//#///#////#/////#prince lotor #voltron spoilers #vld spoilers #voltron salt #voltron negativity #abuse--//--cw

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mademoiselleseraph · 5 years

Text

12th Perigee's Eve with Some Minor Celebrities

A very belated secret santa gift for the @hiveswapsecretsanta2018 and @the-bisexual-dumpster about Charun, Chixie, and Cirava spending the holiday together and being best buds

~~~

Charun was running late, but when weren’t they running late? They supposed it was a small price to pay for looking nice. They knew looking nice for them meant looking like a disaster to others but it was typical for -- what did people call them? -- oh yeah, avant garde types. They were so avant garde. The avant-est of garde. Yeah.

They had already combed their hair (just to muss it up just right), brushed their teeth (doing what they could to dull their fangs), and washed their face (and applied some blood based paint to the sides of their mouth and one of their temples). Next step was to say goodbye. They patted the shell of their lion-faced snail lusus, Speedy, promising to be safe. Then they went to the ventriloquist dummy they found one day and had a strange attachment to though they could not, for the life of them, remember where it came from or when they first saw it, let alone what species it was supposed to portray. Some kind of demon thing? Maybe. They gave it a strong hug and gently placed it back down on the floor. Finally, they went to the wall.

The dummy always gave Charun what a friend of theirs would describe as “weird fucking vibes, man lmao.” Looking at its glassy eyes and painted smile unsettled them. It gave them a jittery giddiness for pain and destruction that itched and disoriented. There was a wall in the cave that had the opposite effect. The words scrawled all about in various shades of blood had a somber, melancholy look, but filled them with hope. They ran a finger under the words where they seemed to start.

“Let it be known before all else,” it read, “that there is no sin in wanting to live. Second, that to help instead of harm one’s fellow troll is nobler by far. Third, that worth and character cannot be determined by blood.”

And it went on. Their favorite part of it was the tale of Twelfth Perigee’s eve. This figure and his group traveled by day as often as they could, shielding themselves from the harsh sun with parasols, cloaks, and scarves. But the Twelfth Perigee was the darkest of all perigees, and one could could walk freely without fear of burning on that one day. They celebrated the ease of their burden, baking sweet cakes for the orphans and sharing cordial among the adults.

And then they remembered the sweet cakes. They had baked them in a fit of inspiration from the ancient scribblings to take to their friends for their Twelfth Perigee’s Eve get-together. Oh right, they were really quite late now. They put the still warm cakes into an insulated bag, and then into another insulated bag to be sure they were kept warm, and then in a basket for that rustic charm. They slipped on a coat, shaped to look like it had odd growths under the material and decorated with scrap metal, and headed out.

Meanwhile, Chixie was worried. She was often worried due to various factors, mostly having to do with cameras and what they would capture and what others would do with it. But it wasn’t entirely about that this time.

Her worrying was a major reason her friends agreed to meet at her place for Perigee’s Eve. That way no one would catch her walking to anyone’s hive and start rumors that would convince her more powerful and more obsessive fans to take out the competition in gruesome ways. Would that happen? No way to say for sure, but she’d rather stay on the safe side.

It must have been around the fifth time she looked out the window in the span of twenty minutes when Cirava called to her from the couch.

“Chix, I’m gonna need you to calm down,” they said. “This isn’t the first time they’ve run late and it won’t be the last.”

“I know,” she replied in as un-snippity a manner as she could. “but it’s been a while since you got here and you never know what kind of creeps are out there or what they’re seeing or what they’re saying.”

“Are people really watching your hive to see who comes and goes?”

“It’s not like I’m that hard to track down and it’s not exactly difficult to get into the bronze side of town.” Her breathing quickened and her face contorted in panic as she continued: “And you know whatever they write about me, he’s gonna see it, and --”

“Chixie!” They clamped a hand on her shoulder, trying to snap her out of it. “This is ultimately your place so you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do. But when you get worked up like this, you get agitated, then bitter, then hopeless, and that’s about when you tend to hit the bottle.”

Her shoulders drooped and she sank into the couch under their arm and squeezed the hand still holding her shoulder. They were a wispy thing and by all logic their bony limbs should have hurt to be held in, but nothing could make anyone feel safer.

“I don’t mean to cross any bounds by sounding all conciliatory and shit,” they continued, “but you said you were tryna cut back, so I figured we should at least wait til Charun gets here.”

“You’re not crossing anything,” she insisted, hugging them back. “I know you’re not meaning it like that, and I appreciate you trying to help.”

“While we’re at it maybe we could not talk about him today? Whenever he gets brought up, you seem to feel worse, and I know I don’t have any fond memories of the guy.”

“Yeah. I could use a break from even thinking about him. When do you think Charun will get here?”

And just then there was a knock at the door. Speak of the devil.

Chixie opened the door and drew Charun into a warm hug.

“I know I’m late...” they mumbled. An unfinished thought, but soon to come again.

“Oh, we’re just happy your safe!” Chixie chirped.

“You had her worried sick, dumbass,” Cirava joked.

“...but I brought food,” they concluded, holding up the basket. “Cakes for everyone.”

Cirava took the basket to the table and opened the insulated bags.

The lovely smell hit Chixie’s nose instantly. “Chocolate?”

“And raspberry!” Cirava murmured, mouth already full of a bite.

“Glad you like ‘em...” Charun droned on. “Made plenty…. Have ‘smany as you’d like….”

They tactfully did not mention the lack of cordial in respect for Chixie’s little problem, or the fact the inspiration came from a wall someone had written on in blood.

They talked fans, making sure to exclude him as promised, and the pressure of fame, and lusii of course. They were still young after all. Eventually they stumbled on the subject of Chixie’s lovely home and decorating.

“Yeah, I normally don’t get too festive,” she admitted, “but I wanted to go all out for you two.”

“It’s….” Charun mumbled.

“Bitchin’,” Cirava stated.

“....Pretty,” Charun concluded.

She swelled with pride, took a deep breath, and let herself process that pride. “Yeah, it’s not too shabby,” she said. “Actually, I think I did a great job!” It felt good. It felt true. None of that coy oh, you bullshit or false modesty. She didn’t have to pretend around them because they knew it too.

Her hive really was decked to the nines. Tinsel garlands, evergreen wreaths, the bones on the mantle, a roaring fire, candles, and of course the behemoth leaving with its own decorations.

“Why is that even a thing?” Cirava asked, gesturing to it. “Like how did that start? It’s not entirely sanitary.”

“Oh, I know this one!” Chixie said. “It’s excellent fertilizer. It used to be that you’d keep it in the hive so no one could steal it, and you’d put it on your crops through the planting season and they’d grow like crazy. The decorations started with cloves and evergreen twigs to make it smell better.”

“And the bones…” added Charun, “...were good for crops too…. But also… after you suck the marrow out… you can string ‘em up like windchimes…. Scares off some aggressive species... if you live out in the middle of nowhere….”

“Speaking of aggressive species,” Cirava noted, setting up their husktop, “you guys wanna shout out to my fans with me?”

The others agreed and sat on either side of them as they got the microphone ready, put on their camera face, and hit record.

“Hey all you funky little weirdos. I’m taking a break from streaming to spend the holiday with some dear friends, but I’ll be back the day after tomorrow. Thank you so much for all the love and support, and I’ll be sure to link in the description where you can listen to some of my fresh beats til I get back. But hey, from me and mine to you and yours--”

And then they all said, more or less in unison, “Happy Eve!” and waved at the camera. Cirava shut it off and posted the video to their chittr and other social media accounts, then put the husktop away.

And with that out of the way, and some touches of worry as to what her fans would make of it, Chixie decided it was best to break out the punch. She made it in advance and left it to chill and had completely forgotten it. That must have been Cirava’s doing, she realized, keeping her mind on other things and away from the drink. Though she restrained herself and made it significantly less boozy than she usually did, and apologized if that made it taste funny.

“Actually,” said Charun, “I think it’s… better.”

And she flashed a quick but genuine thank-you smile. She never really drank it for the taste before.

And they went on like that. Cirava and Charun passed a pipe between them, offering to Chixie. She only took one hit, not wanting to dry out her throat. Cirava, on the other hand, blew all manner smoke rings and swished their hand in the smoke to make blurry semblances of shapes. Charun tried to trace abstract outlines of them with their own finger. Something about it gave Chixie a cheery sense of ease that was quite rare to her. She asked Cirava if the case for their husktop was soundproof, which they confirmed, and she suggested they all put their palm husks in with it.

“So…. What was that about?” asked Charun.Chixie had the beginnings of a mischievous little smirk at the corners of her mouth and replied, “How about singing some carols?”

“Um, are you out of your gourd?” Cirava shot back.

“I already plugged the TV and anything else that might be bugged. And besides, what’s Twelfth Perigee’s Eve without a little illegal activity?”

“We should steal…” Charun trailed off, “from highbloods! And leave shit… on their lawnrings.”

And after some scared looks from their companions, they took it back.

“Nah…. You’re right… that’s a death sentence…. Let’s just sing some songs.”

Chixie started with the old familiar melody:

“Oh, merry moon

Lend me your tune

For on my pipes to play”

And then Charun in a surprisingly graceful baritone voice:

“And may the lonesome

Find a home

On this most holy darkest day”

And they both looked to Cirava waiting for them to join. Eventually they caved.

“They killed him

And they cursed him

But it’s said he’ll come again”

And all of them in unison:

“So merry moon

Lend me your tune

To welcome an old friend”

And they sang songs about respite and recovery and joy to be found among friends and a fruitful new sweep with burdens lifted. Songs that were outlawed and had to be sung in complete secrecy for fear that they could start a riot. Songs that made one feel like an honest rebel just for singing. Man, Twelfth Perigee’s Eve carols are hardcore! Well, maybe not outside of that context.

And hours stretched on and on and the three friends drew closer until crammed together on a single couch cushion. The smiles were genuine and the hands gestured naturally as they spoke about what happened sweeps ago and what might in the sweeps from then.

The softest, weakest bits of sunlight slipped in through the shades as dawn broke, getting a gasp out of Chixie.

“I didn’t mean to keep you out so late!” she apologized. The light was dim enough to walk in but highblood customs involved drugs and destructive raiding well into the morning. As one could imagine, it wasn’t safe.

“You’re fine,” Cirava said. “Cool if we crash here?”

“Sure!” she replied. “I just have the one ‘cuperacoon though.”

“Cirava can take… the couch,” said Charun. “I just need… some pillows….”

“Well, actually, if you two don’t mind, maybe we can share it?”

“You sure…? That wasn’t...virgin punch… it was still spiked….”

“Yeah, Chix, you really okay with this? We can sleep out here.”

“I’m sure! If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, but it’ll probably be much more comfortable.” There was a slight pause as she gathered up the courage to say, “I trust you guys.”

That came as a pleasant surprise to both of them.

“Alright,” Cirava said, followed by Charun some time after.

They barricaded the doors, not that it would really stop anyone, but it did make them feel a little better, and Chixie led the way to her respite block

There they took their waking clothes off and realized just how wonderfully not-awkward it all was. At no point did they feel like they should be ashamed or that they shouldn’t do it. Though it did get them all cracking up about a conversation they had earlier that sweep, about how if they couldn’t fill their quadrants in adulthood, they’d somehow find each other and pail.

“I really hope that’s not the case,” Cirava said after a good chuckle, “for your sakes. I wouldn’t want either of you having to fill a bucket with my ugly mug.”

“That’s what…” Charun replied, “...paper bags are for…!”

And there was another round of hearty laughter as they all squeezed in together. Admittedly, it was a tight fit, but not uncomfortable. Three kids in one recuperacoon. That would have been some kind of safety code violation if there existed safety codes to violate on Alternia. Besides the basic “do not fuck with the drones” but that was more common sense.

They realized just before drifting off that they were all holding hands. And that morning with its cloudy skies and lazy sunshine was the most restful sleep any of them ever had.

#hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim #chixie roixmr #charun krojib #cirava hermod

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scratchface · 5 years

Text

Long Overdue Thoughts on 71-76

There’s... a lot of ground to cover here. Considering I binged all five episodes, I might also be missing some things. I’ll have to comb over the episodes more closely later.

Jumping right into it, Bohman’s dueling now completely emulates Yusaku’s style, particularly with the almost excessive abuse of graveyard effects and link-spamming (I say with the utmost affection). Yusaku deciding to trust Ai’s judgement, and then refusing to let Ai blame himself when it goes wrong, was a nice touch. But I’m not sure it will be a good thing in the long run, especially considering how shaky Ai’s current allegiance is. But Yusaku knows better than anyone that Ai is an untrustworthy liar, and sticks with him anyway.

In regards to Ai having instinct, this relates quite a bit to the last section part four of my Yusaku analysis. Ai really does have something AIs shouldn’t have, while Yusaku seems to lack the very same thing, whether you call it self-preservation, fear, or instinct. It looks like Vrains really is going to confirm that Ai took more than he was supposed to from Yusaku, or possibly even pursue the switching angle (Ai is the human and Yusaku is the AI).

Ryoken showing up at the hotdog truck again was a treat. He casually reminded Kusanagi (and us viewers hint hint) how important Kusanagi is to Yusaku’s peace of mind. It goes to show Ryoken’s genuine concern for Yusaku’s wellbeing, and his desire to fight Yusaku fairly, with both of them at their best. I’ll come back to this when I talk about Ryoken and Yusaku’s next meeting, which shows us the darker side of Ryoken’s investment in Yusaku. Gotta say, it was cute how Yusaku had zero hesitation. He really believes that Ryoken won’t use underhanded tactics against him. Like hell Yusaku would ever doubt his special person’s intentions towards him, I suppose.

Earth was very likable, in the end, and his death was upsetting. There are few more terrible ways to die than being cut to pieces, gradually losing everything bit by bit. I hope Queen suffers for this one. Both Go and Akira come out the other side looking bad too; Go for completely losing his sense of right and wrong, and Akira for his powerlessness and inability to control or protect anything (seems to be a running theme with Akira; where’s it going?). I do have to wonder why he sticks with SOL, despite everything; it’s clear Queen isn’t going to allow him to use his position to help Playmaker or do right by the Ignis. (I get why he has to be there plot-wise; Aoi and Ema need an inside source of information.) I can’t help but think he’d at the very least be more effective doing literally anything else.

And then there’s Go, who has really, really lost it at this point. It’s pretty sad to see him twisted like this, but I figured that so long as he stuck with the “gotta be number one” mindset, he would keep on falling until he hit rock bottom. But the introduction of AI implants opens lots of interesting doors: like, couldn’t Lightning put AIs in those implants and put those implants in people in his conquering humanity scenario? Gotta hand it to SOL, if there’s one thing they’re good at, it’s inventing humanity’s doom. Plus, Go seeing a “new world” within the network...it’s very reminiscent of Yusaku’s Link Sense. Does Yusaku already have an AI implanted in his brain (is he the AI implanted in his own brain?)?

But all this talk of “becoming one with an AI” makes me really think we might be seeing a Yusaku/Ai fusion someday. That might be the best shot of beating Bohman next time; combining Yusaku’s skill and logic with Ai’s instincts and unpredictability, into what could even be considered to be the “original Fujiki Yusaku”...

In the early days of Vrains, a lot of people theorized Go would end up teaming with the Earth Ignis; I wonder if that’s still in the future? If Earth can be restored, or if he managed to hide a copy of his programming. Everyones’ reaction to his death had a sense of finality, but I do think Earth will be coming back, if only because of the combined Ignis Bohman was talking about being the vessel for (and because I want to see Earth and Spectre interacting). I think Lightning is going to want Earth’s data back for that project.

Maybe all the Ignis will end up being combined together in Bohman and we’ll finally get to see a Divine Ignis. It is very interesting that out of anyone or anything, Lightning decided that the ultimate Ignis should be based on Yusaku (+Ai, who was also based on Yusaku). But it also makes a lot of sense; Yusaku has already proven that he’s the best duelist in Vrains and, in the eyes of the Ignis probably, the pinnacle of humanity’s potential. Instead of basing an AI on an AI based on a human, Lightning might as well default straight to the best of the original goods, plus the results of the original Hanoi Project. It also makes sense; Ai was born from Yusaku being forced to duel what we presume to be an AI over and over again, and Bohman was finalized the same way: by dueling Yusaku over and over, and watching his previous matches.

I gotta wonder how Ryoken set up that conversation with Yusaku. They’re clearly at Stardust Road, but I don’t think Kusanagi would casually set up shop there of all places anymore.

Did Ryoken call Yusaku up and tell him to come by?

The whole reason Ryoken gave them the program IRL was because he wanted to avoid Lightning’s monitoring. We can assume that’s why they were having the Earth convo IRL too; but the fact that they’re having this conversation at all suggests that Ryoken and Yusaku now feel comfortable sharing what they know with each other. The fact that Ryoken callously used that as an opportunity to incite Ai’s resentment towards humanity right in front of Yusaku’s eyes is...well, there’s a lot to unpack in this short scene.

Clearly a little delighted by Earth’s fate, Ryoken is still trying to drive a wedge between Yusaku and Ai; this tentative alliance they have now might exist for entirely that purpose. It allows Ryoken to take the steps necessary to keep Yusaku out of Lightning’s hands, while pushing Ai towards “revealing” that he’s been humanity’s enemy all along. It’s twisted, but really adds a fascinating element to Ryoken’s character. He sees that the easiest way to get rid of Ai is to dissolve the bond between Ai and Yusaku.

That, or Ryoken is trying to create distance between Ai and Yusaku emotionally. He’s still determined to destroy Ai, but he knows that will hurt Yusaku, so maybe he hopes to lessen that future blow for Yusaku a bit. Either way, it’s not entirely fair to blame Ryoken for being such a jerk; he no doubt believes he’s doing the right thing for Yusaku and all of humanity.

At the same time: Ryoken, you bastard. (I love you)

On Yusaku’s end, its nice to see that while he trusts Ryoken, he’s under no delusions about who Ryoken is or what he gets up to. From easily guessing Ryoken has a spy to not batting an eye at his cold treatment of the not-evil Ignises. Yusaku is as cold and unemotional as ever, while Ai is growing increasingly unstable in the face of having lost everything he originally set out to protect. The contrast is interesting, but whether it will bring them closer or push them apart has yet to be seen.

Now that Aoi and Aqua met, I worry that Aqua will just do the “I see the truth” thing with Playmaker and Soulburner. I’ll be pretty disappointed if that is how Aoi learns Yusaku is Playmaker. But regarding the “truth” thing, we see that Miyu lost a friend because of a lie, which may have led to Aqua developing her lie-detecting ability. But do the Ignis all have unique abilities like that, unrelated to their elements but related to their Lost Kids? It doesn’t seem like it, but there’s a lot we don’t know, especially about Ai.

I want to see more of Miyu--or rather, I still very much want all the Lost Kids to team up! Now that we have five out of six, I would love to see them all interacting together a group. I hope she gets back on her feet and a larger role next season, instead of just existing to hand Aqua over to Aoi. I’m not to sure on where I stand with Aoi getting Aqua as a partner to begin with. On one hand, it was obviously inevitable from the start. On the other hand, it’s kinda like Aoi gets all the benefits with none of the trauma. Plus, what makes the Ignis and human partnerships so interesting is that the Ignis were born from each Lost Kid’s pain. I wonder if Aoi and Aqua’s more indirect connection can compete with that kind of complexity. Aqua might return to Miyu when she wakes up, or Miyu will insist on Aqua staying with Aoi and supporting her. That all said, I really like Miyu and Aoi so far and look forward to seeing them reunited.

RIP everyone that shipped Ema and Kengo; I knew y’all were playing a dangerous game. I want to know so much more about them though. What sort of relationship do they have? What was their childhood like? Where do they get their magenta hair from? Are they full siblings? Are they half-siblings? Adopted? Step-sibs? Blood siblings that grew up separately? I hope we find out.

The fact that Ema is a little sister too does a lot to explain the kinship she feels with Aoi, and why she’s encouraging Aoi to be stronger; its possible she wants Aoi to be able to be there for Akira in a way Ema might never have been for Kengo. It also explains Kengo’s disregard and lack of respect for Ema; of course he looks down on his little sister (assuming I’m not misinterpreting Ema calling him “nii-san”...which I’m pretty sure I’m not.)

There’s undoubtably more in these 5 episodes that I didn’t get to here, but lots of new and interesting possibilities for how the story is going to progress.

#vrains #yugioh vrains #ygo #im back and noisier than ever #vrainalysis

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