I think we all need a sort of first aid treatment when we get down. Either when i feel sad or anxious, i need to make my environment accomodate what i'm feeling.
The first aid kit differs from person to person, and i haven't completed my ideal kit yet, since i haven't started tending to myself until recently when i became more and more in tune with my mental state.
In this book, Katherine May calls that gloomy state "wintering" and i kind of relate to that, especially that i feel the worst in the cold months.
She tells us her ways of helping herself embrace her "wintering" and slowly getting able to come out of it.
I don't seem to mind her frivolous ways to heal, since i feel like she's not actually prescribing us the same lifestyle solutions she used,
but more like she's showing us how overall certain things can change how we feel.
One of the things i liked was her relationship with nature, especially with the antarctic. That's something i got dreamy about. I love water and ice and i love cool toned colouring. I love isolation and aloneness, and being alone in the arctic seems interesting.
But then, i got bored out of too much coziness. What else can she teach me about self care? I was more interested when she talked about nature and animals and less when she talked about herself, which lessened my joy of reading it, so i simply stopped.
good writing though.
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"Cold cloths, warm hugs" Jason Todd x gn!reader
A/N: My first ever Jason x reader fic whaaat! I have such a soft spot for this guy ugh <3 also this is so fluffy and silly, I'll see myself out!
Warnings: not proofread, swear words, Jason is feeling unwell so a mention of headaches? use of painkillers
Summary: You and Jay have a night off, what could possibly go wrong? (fluff, hurt/comfort-ish)
Word count: 850 +
If you enjoyed my work: Ko-fi.com/freakingholland
questions/requests/ideas here! - rules here
masterlist (needs a proper update)
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You were in the middle of watching some kind of lighthearted show on your night off. Jason had a night off as well, the two of you had been sitting on a couch and simply enjoying each other’s presence. Jason had been reading a book curled up next to your tucked figure, as your back was leaning against the opposite arm of the couch. Unexpectedly his reading session got disturbed. At least you thought so since he had gotten up from the couch, tossed his reading glasses aside on the coffee table and went to the kitchen without a word. At least 5 minutes had passed, and he didn’t return.
“Hey- you alright in there?”
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“-Yup, just a sec.”
He didn’t sound very convincing. His response seemed wavering, and it was enough to make you a bit wary. As you didn’t want to possibly annoy him with your raised voice, not knowing the problem yet, instead of shouting from the sofa, you went to check on him.
His head was hanging low as he was standing with his hands resting on the counter. There was an unscrewed bottle of painkillers and a now empty, wet glass. You went behind him and put your hand on the small of his back.
“What’s going on baby?” Your heart ached at the sight.
“--Headache.” He whispered through gritted teeth. His tone made you uptight.
“I- I- gotta lie down.”
“-can you get me a cold-- towel? Please…” He spoke quietly while turning to go to your bedroom. Your hand dropped to your side.
“Course. You’re nauseous?”
He slightly leaned on the doorframe before going further away from you. He shut his eyes as the light hit his face when leaving the kitchen.
“Yeah…”
He then faltered to rest up.
“Shit.” You cursed under your breath putting your head in your hand when he left.
You were hoping that you’d have a calm evening for once, you deserved to have it. It’s been a while since something bothered Jay to that degree, whether it was a patrol injury or sickness, and the fact that he was hurting on his day off made you genuinely irritated.
On the positive side – at least he didn’t try to hide the fact that he was feeling unwell. He also asked for some help without much frustration. It took months to get to this point, but encouraging Jay to open up and communicate more has been paying off. Grief-stricken conversations still happen every so often. Hell, it would be beyond belief if they weren’t happening considering the extent of past trauma that Jason has suffered through.
But his mental health really did improve over the months of you two dating.
You put on the kettle to make him a nice warm cup of tea. With the help of a stool, you managed to find his old but beloved wonder woman mug. It took some digging in your cabinet that really needed a proper cleanup. When the tea had been made you moved on to rummage through your closet to find a cloth for a cold compress. Placing three cubes of ice in between the layers was enough to make the cloth cold.
“Babe did you drink cof—“ you stopped halfway through your whispered question when you were walking into your shared bedroom.
You suddenly stopped in your tracks realizing your possible mistake. Jay was already dosing off, curled under a blanket. His lips were slightly parted. There was a noticeable change in his posture, there was less tension within his upper body, his arms seemed more relaxed than before. You didn’t think he would be falling asleep this fast, but you figured the headache must have been bad and that the painkillers actually started to kick in.
The sight made you sigh as you you’ve been unnoticeably holding in your breath. You tiptoed to his bed side table and put down his mug of steaming tea. You then carefully kneeled down next to the bed in order to place a compress on his forehead without startling him too much. You gently pressed it onto his skin, making sure to place it slightly over his eyelids.
“That feels so nice.” He muttered.
“Shhh ignore me and go to sleep.”
“I don’t wanna ignore you--, come here.”
You stood up and walked around the bed. Before joining Jay, you opened the window to let some fresh air into the room.
“Baby please…”
“’Kay ‘kay I’m coming.”
You carefully crawled under his blanket and big spooned him.
“You know what? I can already feel the headache going away just cause you’re hugging me.” He continued verbilising his loopy thoughts.
“Oh yeah? It must be some kind of magic.”
“Yeah, it’s Y/N’s magic.”
“Just don’t tell on me. Peeps might burn me at the stake.”
“Fuuuuuuck no I wouldn’t let them.”
“Oh, I know you wouldn’t big guy. ” you said running your hand through his hair.
Jay rolled to his side to embrace you in a hug. He nuzzled his face into your chest and sighed with relief.
“JACE that’s cold! Stop it!” you winced and laughed as the compress touched your warm skin.
“It wouldn’t feel so cold if you weren’t so hot.”
“I think we gotta check your temperature…”
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Stay whelmed xx
Tori
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wonder
synopsis: sae wondered what it was like to be loved by you.
pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 800 | warnings: established relationship, tooth rotting fluff, sae is stupidly in love with u
notes: why hello! i'm barely alive! i know i kinda disappeared but i was struggling with personal issues and my mental health, so i didn't really have creativity to write. i'm not sure i like this either, but i couldn't let sae bae's bday go by without posting anything. also this is slightly inspired by the song "wonder - shawn mendes". thank you for your love and patience! <3
masterlist
there are certain things itoshi sae would never admit. like the way he loved calm walks at the beach or how seagulls were his favorite animal. how he secretly regret hurting his little brother’s feelings when he was a stupid teenager. how his life was way lonelier than the world could even imagine, making him hate the walls of his oh so empty apartment.
mostly, he would never admit he wondered what it was like to be loved — not just by anyone, though, but to be loved by you.
he’s not sure when it started. he can’t pinpoint the exact moment his heart began beating faster and his black and white world was filled with color, but he does know that, inevitably, it all comes back to you, like you’re some sort of big bang that created his whole existence. itoshi sae doesn’t think he was actually himself before he became yours.
if you ask him, he’d say it’s a bit pathetic, really. he was never a guy that cared about romance, and he definitely didn’t believe in the concept of a love that could sweep you off your feet, like the hollywood movies desperately tried to sell. perhaps one of the reasons he liked you so much was because you managed to prove him wrong, and not many people were able to do that.
sae was usually right. but you, in his life — that was even more right than his stupid beliefs.
“sae, i need to get up,” your voice breaks him from his stupor, and, instinctively, his hold on your waist tightens. it’s some sort of protection, he thinks. not to you, but to protect him from the pain of having you stray away.
(he never wants to let go).
the football player twists his body to trap you even further on the mattress, burying his face on your chest and tangling his legs with yours. your giggle reverberates through his whole body and brings warmth to his cheeks. his heart flutters, and he can’t even find it in him to hate it.
you must have put a spell on him, he concludes.
“i’m serious. i need to make breakfast,” you say again when he doesn’t answer.
“don’t wanna.”
“you don’t want breakfast?”
“nuh-uh.”
you giggle again, and this time, you seem to give in, relaxing your body and welcoming him in your embrace. sae can only sigh in satisfaction when you card your fingers through his reddish-brown locks, relishing in the peace only you seem to be able to give him.
“i wonder what people would think if they knew how clingy the all mighty itoshi sae can be,” the teasing lit in your tone doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and you earn a scoff.
“shut up,” he quips, although there’s no real bite in it. “you love me.”
and you must not be from this world, because it’s easy — the way you pick up on any slight nuance of his voice or demeanor. it’s so fucking easy for you to read him like an open book and to give the reassurance he so desperately needs; albeit unaware.
your voice becomes impossibly soft, “i do, baby. i love you so much.”
you kiss his forehead, and after wandering around for so long, sae thinks he’s finally home.
for a while, you two just stay there, in bed, wrapped in each other in a way you can’t know where he starts and where you end. the thought of being one with you makes him happy, but that’s just another item in his long list of things he would never admit.
your sweet voice breaks the silence.
“we’re gonna be in bed all day?” there’s nothing but pure curiosity in your voice. no judgment — you never judge him, despite the way he deserves it sometimes. the thought makes his chest tighten with the amount of love he has harbored just for you.
sometimes he thinks he’s too small for it, and he’s scared all this love will overflow and consume him whole. though, it’s even scarier to think he wouldn’t mind: sae is yours. you can have all that he has and all that he is.
“just a little longer,” he whispers, a little more vulnerable than he would like. but it’s okay. it’s always okay when it’s you. “please?”
you hum in agreement, continuing to caress his hair.
“of course. whatever the birthday boy wants.”
sae allows himself to close his eyes and bask in your warmth, on the safety that you so effortlessly gave him. by smelling your perfume, he’s filled with gratitude for all the times he wondered what it was like to be loved by you.
“happy birthday, love.”
he’s glad he doesn’t have to wonder anymore.
© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
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