#my almost daily headaches? gone

[hewinked]

no one tells you that when you get glasses for your long time untreated only "slightly" bad vision

that getting used to wearing glasses means your eyes wont be used to the strain of looking at things without them anymore and it means when you take your stinking glasses off, your eyes both dry up and start watering and itching all at the same time and its so disorientating

also after like a week people started acting like I was naked whenever i wasn't wearing my glasses

also this winter is the worst winter bc dry eye has kicked my ass in its ass, id never had dry eye before this year (that i noticed at least)

#glasses #i had aparently needed them for like 2 years but due to reasons i didnt get them and now i have them and their fuckin great #my almost daily headaches? gone #my trouble reading? gone #eye pain due to strain? gone #eyestrain #dry eye

[sooniebby]

IMMA SEND ANOTHER REQUEST BC I MISS OUR BOY CHOI💕 OUR FAVORITE PERV

Maybe we get like hit or something during gym class bc we are clumsy as fuck and we get sent to the nurses office and Choi was chosen to take us there and something happens? Can be horny as fuck or just sweet I’ll eat that shit like it’s my dinner either way<3 whatever you prefer Sonnie!

Thank you 😩🫶 for the Ushijima Drabble is was scrumptious 🤤

ఌ 𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐃

꧁ 𝙊𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

(Canon reading order)

Yubin works: 1, 2, 3, 4

Word count › 1.6k

Rating › NSFT

Warnings › Yubin is a proud dog hater

Kinks › feminization, fondling, mentions of free use

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＢＥＧＩＮＮＩＮＧ

“How’s your head?”

(Name) wasn’t sure how to answer. It didn’t hurt. He was used to getting hit in the head by a dodgeball so he’s been taking them like they’re nothing. No, it wasn’t the slight headache he had that was bothering him.

It was Yubin playing with his chest.

The dumb idiot was just standing there and fiddling with his chest. And it wasn’t even through his shirt.

No, Yubin had to touch (Name)’s skin.

Something about skinship or whatever bullshit he spouted when he pulled up (Name)’s shirt as soon as they got into the nurses office.

Good thing the nurse wasn’t here yet.

She must’ve been a lunch break.

Yubin didn’t even seem to be perverted though. In his weird way, he was comforting (Name) by massaging his chest. And (Name) would be thankful for that if he asked for it.

But it wasn’t like he stopped him.

“My head is fine. The nurse could be coming back any second…” (Name) reached over to grab Yubin’s arm but Yubin swiftly moved it away.

“She shouldn’t be. I saw her talking to Mister Park. She’ll be gone for a minute.”

“Why?”

“Cause she wants to fuck him,” Yubin said nonchalantly, paying way more attention to fondling (Name) than what he was actually saying.

“Your boobs have gotten bigger…”

“It’s my pectorals.”

Yubin looked at (Name) with a blank stare before turning his attention back to (Name)’s chest. “It’s like your boobs don’t fit in my hands…”

(Name) rolled his eyes. No purpose in trying to correct him.

“But really,” Yubin suddenly said, looking at (Name) with a look of worry. “You aren’t hurting, right? Because I can go get the Nurse to come now and treat you.”

(Name) blushed. Despite Yubin still fondling his chest, he really did look slightly worried about his condition. Which was for good reason. Any other person would’ve been knocked out at that the throw that hit him.

Honestly, (Name) should be knocked out. He’s just a bit… well there’s nothing too important in his head to get hurt.

Mentally at least.

“I’m fine…. You, uh, being here with me is nice.” (Name) whispered. Most people wouldn’t want to come with him to the nurse. It was a daily occurrence for him to go to the nurses office that it got annoying for the other students.

A few even believed that he was doing it on purpose for attention.

Yubin squeezed (Name)’s chest tightly, earning a squeak from the boy, as he grinned. “Really?! I’ll come anytime you have to go to the nurse, alright?”

“Hm, thanks… but uh…” (Name) glanced down at Yubin’s hands that were squishing his chest. “Are you going to let go?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Yubin…”

(Name) tried to put on his best puppy dog face but that only got a tug at his nipple. He cursed at how his body trembled at the pull. It was pure luck that he didn’t just moan right then and there.

“Do you really want me to let go?” Yubin asked, staring straight at (Name). He watched his every move—waiting for any sign for discomfort. (Name) simply blushed and looked away in embarrassment.

Yubin laughed. “You’re so cute… I’m so lucky you’re mine.” He pulled his hands away from (Name)’s chest. (Name) wouldn’t lie that he almost whimpered at the lost. Sure, in the moment he wanted it to stop but when he actually did…

“Oh, (Name) Hyung, I have a gift for you.” He reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled something out. (Name) tilted his head in confusion as Yubin placed the item in his hands.

(Name) stared at the new item in his hands in pure shock.

No fucking way.

Yubin smirked. “It’s a collar. What do you think?”

(Name) looked up. “What the hell, Yubin?! Where did you get this?!”

“Amazon.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t worry. You’ll only have to wear at my place or around me. Not at school. I just wanted to make sure it fits you.” Yubin said, grabbing the collar.

The choker was a simple black one. But the most outlandish thing on it was the bell on it. It looked like a cat collar. Yubin looked all too eager to put the collar on (Name).

“Have I ever told you cats are my favorite animals? Much better than those stinky dogs.”

“I don’t mind dogs… They’re pretty cute. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who hated them…” (Name) muttered.

“A dog murdered my cat. I think I can hate dogs.” Yubin said, a forced smile on lips. It seemed he still had some issues with that.

Which isn’t too surprising.

“Oh well. My mom killed the dog after it killed Mister Tofu so everything is well. I have Yuna now! She’s going to be one in two weeks!!” He giggled.

(Name) simply hummed. Yubin could certainly be off sometimes.

“Look at me,” Yubin said, grasping (Name)’s chin to turn his head towards him. He smiled at his boyfriend before moving to place the collar around (Name)’s neck.

“How does it feel, baby?”

(Name) hummed, moving his head around as he tried to breathe with the collar. He couldn’t breathe too well. It was visibly painful.

Yubin seemed to notice this as he quickly took it off. He frowned to himself. “I’m so sorry. I must’ve ordered it too small…” he looked so angry at himself as he reached over to gently rub (Name)’s neck.

“It’s fine.. you can just order a bigger size.”

“Really?”

(Name) rolled his eyes. “You were going to do it anyway without my permission.”

“I was. But it’s nice to hear you encourage it.” Yubin threw the collar into the trash. “You should get a reward.”

“Like what?”

Yubin hummed thoughtfully before placing his hand back on (Name)’s chest. He slowly trailed his hand downward. His fingers traced small circles around (Name)’s stomach, earning shuddered breaths, as he stopped at (Name)’s gym shorts.

(Name) looked up at Yubin. Yubin raised an eyebrow, tilting his head.

“We have three minutes before gym class ends…” Yubin tugged at (Name)’s gym shorts. “Think you can cum in three minutes…—”

“—Noona…?”

ꕥ

“Look at you… I can’t get enough of your dick.. it’s so small compared to the rest of you,” Yubin laughs cruelly as he jerked (Name) off.

(Name) mewled in embarrassment as he covered his face. He was laying down on the nurse bed as Yubin jerked him off. Those three minutes didn’t seem to be needed as (Name) felt like he could cum right now.

Yubin was fast, keeping a quick pace with his hand job. He was mainly silent—just watching (Name) the entire time. But it only made (Name) more embarrassed.

To have Yubin just stare at him as he lost control of his body. But it also brought out something in him. It was hot to have Yubin in total control as (Name) let go.

What was this feeling called?

He didn’t know. He couldn’t even think straight.

“Once I get the right size for your collar… I should get you a nice little maid costume.” Yubin whispered into his ear. “I’ll have you clean my room, wearing the skimpiest maid outfit I can find.”

(Name) shook his head. “No…”

“No? Why not? Hate the thought of cleaning? Don’t worry baby…” Yubin pressed a kiss on (Name)’s sweating forehead. “I’ll reward you with my thick cock after your hard work.”

“Matter of fact, I’ll fuck you while you clean. Use you like the true little helper you are… oh, why should you even have clothes? Think about it—it’ll just get dirty.”

“Wha… ngh! Do you… mean?” (Name) gasped out.

“I’ll have you wear the collar with no clothes. The bell jingling with your every move. It’ll be easy access for me to reach your pussy… don’t you think?”

“No…”

“Don’t lie to me, (Name). I know you would want that, my little house wife.”

(Name) blushed at the title and looked away. If only he hadn’t give into it last time. There was no way for him to lie his way out of it. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed the weird play that Yubin was into it.

He wanted it.

He liked being called feminine terms. But he was scared. He didn’t want to be a woman.

Yubin seemed to sense this dilemma as he slowed down his hand job. “What’s wrong, baby? Too much?”

“No… it’s nothing…”

“You can talk to me, I won’t be angry if you didn’t like what I said.”

(Name) looked over at Yubin, face flushed with sweat. “Later.. we can talk later.. lemme cum, please.”

Yubin hummed. “Alright, Hyung.” He leaned down and pulled (Name) into a kiss as he jerked him off into his orgasm. (Name) gripped the bed sheets beneath him as he arched his back in pleasure.

His cock squirted out cum onto his stomach as Yubin continued to jerk him off through his orgasm. He didn’t stop until (Name) whined about being overstimulated.

Yubin moved down to lick the cum off (Name)’s stomach, staring up at him the entire time. (Name) felt his cock twitch at the sight.

Fuck.

He was hard again.

“Yubin… no fair..”

“Too much?” Yubin laughed. “C’mon, gym should be over.”

Just as (Name) pulled up his pants—the door to the infirmary opened. In shock, Yubin dropped to the ground to hide. Good thing the bed was covering him.

The nurse, Nurse Han, looked at (Name) in confusion. She glanced at her phone before shaking her head.

“Again? Really, you need to stop playing sports at this point. I’ll go get an ice pack.” She said, walking away.

Once she was gone, Yubin stood up.

“Why did you hide?”

“I panicked.”

(Name) wasn’t sure how the more dominant Yubin was the same as the boy in front of him right now.

Did he have an alter ego in him or something?

“Anyway, you’re coming to my house tonight, alright?”

(Name) frowned. Shit, he forgot all about the little talk he said he’d do later.

He was so screwed.

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＥＮＤ

Hyung: title for older male friends or brothers from younger boys

Noona: title for older female friends or sisters from younger boys

This request was combined with @jaythes1mp ‘s.. they requested Yubin making reader wear a collar!

This was fun. It was cool to dig deeper into Yubin besides him being a perv. I wanted him to have more character!!! (also sorry dog lovers—he’s a proud hater 😞)

Tag List: @nakedtoasterr @the-ultimate-librarian @mello-life69 @kiiyoooo @chill-guy-but-cooler

(Ask to be added to the tag list/you’ll be tagged in every fic I post)

#bottom male reader #x male reader #oc x reader #sub male reader

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Anti-Romantic | CHAPTER THREE | 18+

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»

DRUNK IN LOVE

“I haven’t been the same since we met.”

«PREVIOUS CHAPTER» · «SERIES MASTERLIST»

Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader Genre: Non idol au, fluff, smut, romcom, drama, opposites attract Chapter Warnings: explicit sexual content, switch!Hyunjin, switch!reader, mentions of emotionally abusive ex, mutual fantasizing, sexual fantasy sequence (dom!reader, sub!Hyunjin), cumeating/cumplay, masturbation (f), heavy insecurity and self deprecation, oral (f receiving), rough sex, degradation, titfucking, pussy slapping, edging/orgasm denial, creampie, unprotected sex, misuse of alcohol (reader is a very sad drunk), both of them are actual idiots that will make you want to to scream ⚠️not beta-read yet, but will be updated with the edits soon⚠️ Word Count: 20.5k

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

The first thing Hyunjin understands when he comes to is how disgusting his mouth tastes. The faint, bitter taste of alcohol lingering on his tongue brings the memory of the night prior’s bad decisions; he’s never gone a single day in his life without brushing his teeth at night, in addition to the rest of his extensive pre-bedtime routine. The lack of moisture that pulls at his skin like a scratchy draft has him reaching for his nightstand, from where he’s burrowed in blankets like a corn dog. For a few embarrassing minutes, Hyunjin puts up a valiant effort trying to locate his special night repair face lotion solely with his flailing palm, before he’s rudely interrupted.

“Wake the fuck up, Sleeping Beauty.” 

The strangely familiar, feminine yet husky voice brings him hurtling back into reality. Cautiously, Hyunjin retracts his arm and opens his eyes; the blinding light that meets them does not help his splitting headache that rivals the shaking faultlines of San Andreas. 

When he finally adjusts to the brightness, he realizes that he’s in a room that’s definitely not his. The vast SolarSmart windows that would have already dimmed to match his sleepy blinking have been replaced by an antique bay window. Instead of the aristocratic fragrance of his favorite Le Labo candle, the air is thick with the smell of maple syrup. And his beloved Egyptian cotton sheets are gone in favor of a sherpa set that has him sweating in the year-round heat, which isn’t helped by the fact that this place isn’t humidity controlled.

“I’ve always thought of myself as more of a Rapunzel,” Hyunjin groans, stretching and tilting his head up to meet Lisa’s eyes. “You know, great hair and all.”

“Ha ha.” Lisa rolls her eyes, trying to maintain her expression of annoyance, but Hyunjin catches the hint of a smile on her lips; it’s inevitable, trying to fight the effect of his charms, especially when he’s just woken up all adorable and rumpled by sleep. “It’s almost noon, I thought I’d wake you up.”

“Noon?!” Hyunjin flies into a sitting position, frozen in an unfamiliar panic and unable to think of what to do next. By this time in his usual daily routine, he would have been enjoying a light lunch in his office while journaling in his gratitude notebook. Fuck, his stomach calls out for a nice balsamic arugula salad, maybe with a freshly-squeezed orange juice on the side to help with the regrettable effects of alcohol.

Lisa coughs lightly, bending down to pick up a discarded collection of clothing strewn on the floor, before handing it over to Hyunjin. The nausea rises up in Hyunjin’s stomach as he sifts through the clothes that he recognizes as his own. And then, as if in sudden remembrance, he looks down at himself and realizes that he’s completely naked except for his Gucci boxers. Horrified, he looks over at Lisa, but before he can say anything, she cuts him off.

“No. We didn’t have sex.” Lisa avoids Hyunjin’s eyes, picking at one of her burgundy-painted nails. She seems strangely skittish, in stark comparison to her confident, nearly feline-like mannerisms last night.

“Then what happened last night?” Hyunjin slips on his shirt and slides out of bed to pull his pants on, resolving to get dressed already right there; at this point, there is no more mortifying himself.

Lisa shrugs, an embarrassed blush overtaking her features. “We did some shots at the bar, before I suggested you come over for better drinks, so we could, well, you know. Hook-up. But you really did drink more. A lot more. And just as you took off your clothes, you blacked-out.”

“Blacked-out?” Hyunjin’s whole body feels racked with disbelief. And yet, the memories come fading back in: the botched matchmaking event, him retreating to drink away his sorrows, the handsy taxi ride back to Lisa’s place. “I barely even get tipsy.”

“It seemed like there was a lot on your mind last night. I don’t know what to say to you right now.” Lisa scratches her wrist lightly, as if trying to occupy herself while waiting for Hyunjin to get the hell out of her home. But the movement draws Hyunjin’s attention to her hand, where a fat, glimmering diamond rests on her ring finger, one that wasn’t there the previous night.

Realization flows in, ghastly and unwarranted. He clears his throat, tossing his jacket over his shoulders. “And you’re fucking married.”

Lisa freezes, the blood completely draining out of her face as her lips go paper thin. “I can explain.”

Hyunjin tilts his head with fresh resolve, taking his phone and wallet from where they’re fortunately perched on top of the nightstand. “Nope. I’m getting out of here. Looks like you’ve got some personal things going—” 

“Hyunjin, I’m not married. Please, just—” Lisa quickly crosses in front of him, blocking the doorway, looking at him with pleading eyes. “I’m engaged.”

“Big difference that makes,” Hyunjin mutters, crossing his arms. Nevertheless, he waits for her to speak, softening when he catches the glimpse of pain flash in her eyes.

“My fiancé. He’s… I- I know he’s not working late all those nights, like he says he is.” Lisa exhales shakily, closing her eyes. “I know who you are. The Love Doctor. Initially, I thought I would talk to Hoseok, maybe book us an appointment with you. But then I saw you at the bar, and I don’t know, it felt like a sign.”

“And you wanted to make him hurt like he hurt you,” Hyunjin finishes for her. He’d had clients like Lisa, the vengeful wives looking to bite back at the ones who wronged them— he just never imagined that he would have almost been a part of such a plot. 

She nods guiltily. “And I also just wanted to forget everything, even if it was going to be temporary. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so when you fell asleep, I was kind of relieved.”

Hyunjin snorts and snaps back with no real malice in his words, just a hint of mirth. “Glad me blacking out worked well for you.”

Lisa shoots him a tiny, sheepish grin. “To be fair, I don’t think you really wanted to go through with it. When you were drunk, you kept repeating the same name over and over again.”

He stills at her response, remembering no such event. But of course it makes sense; there’s a certain someone lingering in his thoughts 24/7, and she has no plan of leaving him anytime soon. “I guess.”

If she notices the immediate color in Hyunjin’s cheeks, Lisa says nothing. She just shuffles to the side, letting Hyunjin exit the bedroom before leading him to the main entrance of her apartment. “Again, I’m sorry about everything, Hyunjin. I shouldn’t have tried to use you like that. I really am sorry.”

Hyunjin accepts her apology, a strange mix of sympathy and understanding unfurling in his stomach. After all, he tried doing the same thing, to find someone else to warm his bed and take his mind off of the one person he really wanted. It was a bad night for both of them. “You’re still welcome to find me anytime.”

“Thanks a lot.” Lisa gives him a smile, before it fades into something more playful, one that fits her better than any expression he’s seen on her so far. “If I’m being honest, though, you're not really my type.”

“You know exactly what I mean. Call my secretary and book an appointment if you ever want one. With or without your fiancé.” Hyunjin scoffs, glaring at Lisa over his shoulder as he walks away. “And I’m everyone’s type.”

When his Uber finally pulls up in front of Oasis, Hyunjin hurries up to his penthouse and tries to make the most out of the rest of the cruelly shortened day— after a quick shower to wash off the stench of alcohol and pine air freshener.

Hunched over a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at his kitchen island, Hyunjin swipes through all of the pop-ups on his laptop, going through everything that he’s missed in the time during which he’d dissociated from all common sense. Everyday, Wonyoung makes sure Hyunjin stays up-to-date on all of his engagements by adding all of his event invitations to his Google calendar; Hyunjin spends a good few minutes clicking through everything, accepting all of his upcoming meetings. He’s been slacking off at work lately, skipping team lunches and sitting out on evening debriefs— but that’s all about to change, because Hyunjin needs to get his life back together again. And that includes making things right with you. 

“Want to pull up for a quick afternoon appointment?” Hyunjin mouths out loud. He then makes a face and deletes the letter, groaning out loud. “This isn’t a high school date…”

After a few more failed attempts at trying to write a breezy but appropriate check-in email to you, Hyunjin resolves to call his no-nonsense secretary, knowing that the Velma to his Daphne would help him rediscover his suavity again. Maybe she could even catch him up on today’s SeoulSpark gossip that he’d missed, if they had time. But he underestimates her temper when she finally picks up after the fourth ring:

“Where the fuck were you?” Wonyoung screeches into the phone, making Hyunjin wince and pull his iPhone away from his ear. “Do you know how worried sick I was? How many times have I called you? You didn’t even show up to the brunch you had with the Carters! I had to practically beg Beyoncé not to drop us, only after promising her and Jay-Z five free sessions! I hope you’re ready to deal with the company's losses!”

“I’m sorry, I know, I know.” Hyunjin whines. “I know I’ve been really sidetracked, but I promise I’m making things right.”

“You’d better, Hyunjin.” Wonyoung bites, before taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “I want you over at SeoulSpark on Monday at 6 AM, sharp. We will be going over each and every single client, and then making a game plan for the next five months. You have a meeting with Dr. Jeon, and then Mr. Jung. And Ms. Y/L/N requested an appointment last night, and you can most certainly afford it right now, so you’ll also be meeting with her. Respectfully, I suggest you get your ass over here as soon as possible.”

“Yes, yes— wait.” Hyunjin perks up, dropping his spoon into the soggy bowl of cereal, not minding the tiny droplets of milk that splash up at him. “Did you say Y/N?”

“What’s the matter?”

He shakes his head, dumping the remnants of his meal into the sink. “Nothing. I’ll see you!”

The slow drag of the days until the next week turns into a blur on Monday morning. Hyunjin pulls on a crisp white Celine t-shirt to go with a flowy pair of pleated trousers from the back of his closet, the kind of casual, chic outfit tailored that can always uplift any day. As a final touch, Hyunjin shrugs on a simple yet effective cardigan and dabs some cologne onto his wrists. 

During the drive over to SeoulSpark, Hyunjin reflects on the fact that he’d be seeing you in just a few hours, even though he just saw you a few days ago. When you could barely look Hyunjin in the eye after his colossal blunder. When you’d run away to be far, far away from him, somewhere he couldn’t hurt you again. But he wouldn’t let that happen again, ever. You’re far too precious, and he doesn’t plan on losing you anytime soon, even if you’ll never know what you truly mean to him.

He sighs, parking Cami in her specially reserved spot in the SeoulSpark garage, before taking off his shades and heading inside. As soon as he steps through the sliding glass doors, he can barely muster up a ‘hello’ to his receptionist, Felix, before Wonyoung pounces on him. In the blink of an eye, Wonyoung has dragged him up to his office, where she sits him down at his desk and begins to ferociously rattle off his to-do list for the day.

Luckily, he’s saved by Dr. Jeon, who raps on the open door with a wry smile on his face. “Can I come in, Wonyoung, or are you still busy disciplining Hyunjin?”

Wonyoung huffs at him, before picking up her tablet and making her way out. “He’s all yours. Make it snappy, though. He has a full schedule.”

“Yes, Ms. Jang.” Dr. Jeon says with mock seriousness that makes Wonyoung shoot him a murderous glare, before making himself comfortable on the sofa and turning to Hyunjin. “Damn, where’d you buy this thing? I could take a fat nap here.”

“West Elm.” Hyunjin is unable to keep the smile off of his face. “What’s up, Jungkook?”

“Well, this is kind of an awkward question, if you don’t mind…” Jungkook shoots him a hopeful look, and Hyunjin gives him a nod to continue. “I was just wondering about the company policy about dating clients? It isn’t clear whether we’re allowed to or not, but I know it’s a little iffy.”

Hyunjin sits up in surprise, mind immediately going to you. The SeoulSpark guidelines on dating clients were never explicit to begin with, but it was kind of unsaid that dating clients is out of the question, especially when it could jeopardize business. Of course he’d thought about this before, on the nights when he had been feeling extra delusional over the thought of having you all to himself. But it could never be real.

“What’s this all about, Jungkook?” Hyunjin shifts in his seat warily. “We generally advise against it, even after clients decide to end their memberships. It’s messy territory, one that we try to avoid.”

Jungkook clears his throat. “I mean, she’s not even my client. I think she’s one of yours, actually. She caught my eye at the matchmaking event yesterday— she was wearing this sexy blue sundress. Y/N was her name, I think? I thought, I don't know, that I could maybe ask her out or something? If she didn’t have any matches?”

Oh, hell no.

Hyunjin’s blood immediately goes cold. He likes Jungkook— a lot, actually. He’s a good colleague and friend, and a great drinking buddy when he feels up to it. Jungkook has tagged along with him and Seungmin quite often, whenever they decide to go out to find someone to warm their beds for the night. The topic of women has never been foreign between them, especially in a setting like SeoulSpark. But his woman? Absolutely not. 

Even if you aren’t actually his, Hyunjin would rather break Jungkook’s annoyingly perfect nose than see his hands all over you, and that’s saying something, because Hyunjin hates killing even mosquitos. Jungkook watching you laugh over a plate of pasta. Jungkook helping you into his car. Jungkook kissing you while he brings heaven to you in his bed. All of the things that Hyunjin should get to do.

Technically, it wouldn’t be the end of the world for SeoulSpark if Jungkook dated you, especially since you aren’t his client— but it would be for Hyunjin. Hell if Jeon Jungkook, the notorious player of SeoulSpark, would have you in his stead.

“No.”

Jungkook frowns. “But—”

“I said no, Dr. Jeon. Don’t make me repeat myself,” Hyunjin snaps coldly, barely fazed by that uncharacteristic iciness in his own tone. “Please see yourself out, and come to me when you have something actually useful to discuss.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, running his hands through his hair. “You seem to be in a mood today, Hyunjin. But whatever, I’ll back off. See you later, I guess.”

Hyunjin knows he should feel bad as he watches Jungkook shrink out his view, but all he has is a vicious sense of satisfaction. That’ll teach him— Christ, is he jealous? Hwang Hyunjin doesn’t get jealous. The world is an oyster, and you, his shimmering pearl. He really is so screwed.

The next few hours are a blur, as Hyunjin does his best to be attentive as he sits through meetings with his executive team, including the one with his Chief Marketing Officer, Jung Hoseok, to discuss potential brand partnerships that would be good for SeoulSpark. He deserves an award for not falling asleep during the very essential Zoom call to confirm whether he should allow his face to be stamped onto a cat food brand (the answer was no, he’s forever a dog person).

By the time the sun has dipped below the horizon, Hyunjin has finished meeting with his second-to-last client of the day, Yang Jeongin, that brazen college student who had talked back to him during his TED talk. Poor guy had been through so much, really, with a history of being dumped, the latest offender being a cheating girlfriend who had effectively ruined his outlook on life. But over the past few months, Hyunjin had been able to chip through that broken exterior to find a brilliant young man in need of just a push in the right direction. He reminds Hyunjin of you so much.

“Thanks, Hyun. I’ll see you next week.” Jeongin waves goodbye at Hyunjin, who’s already rifling through his desk drawer for his compact mirror and breath mints.

Hyunjin flashes him a quick smile. “You too, Jeongin.”

As quick as Jeongin has left, the feeling of being alone washes away when you step into the room, knocking the wind out of Hyunjin’s lungs, as always. Today, you’ve foregone those usual pinks, a constant that Hyunjin had loved so much about your outfits. Nevertheless, you’re stunning; the sea-green floral maxi dress floats delicately around your ankles, and Hyunjin has to mentally kick himself to stop staring at the dainty line of buttons crossed along the ruched bust of the bodice.

“There you are!” Hyunjin beams like the sun, the stress of the day’s burdens melting away.

But instead of getting all cute and flustered at his theatrics like you always do, you give him a thin smile and sit down on the couch. “Hey, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin tries not to let the concern flood into his logic, but it’s impossible, when it comes to you. However, he makes a valiant effort in crossing his legs and trying to hide the turbulence of emotions beneath his skin by plastering a placid expression onto his face. “So… want to talk about last week?”

“There’s not much to talk about.” You shrug and avoid Hyunjin’s gaze, looking out the window with a forlorn glint in your eyes. 

“Darling, please.” Hyunjin breaks. He gets up from behind his desk and folds himself into the space next to you, failing to maintain his impartiality. He hates to see you like this, like you so steadfastly believe that you’re alone, when he’s been here for you the entire time. “Open up to me.”

You look directly into Hyunjin’s eyes, prompting a shiver to run down his spine. He wishes you could look at him like that while forcing him down onto his knees. “I had sex with Han Jisung.” 

Of everything, hearing that was not on Hyunjin’s 2023 bingo card. For a moment, he just gapes at you in shock. As your dating coach, he never thought you’d be ready to become intimate with someone so soon, especially the guy who made you run off in horror just a few days prior. And as the person who is secretly in love with you, he could never actually imagine you with anyone except for him. Yet, he now has the wonderful, vivid image of you and Han Jisung getting it on. How nice. 

And then comes the complete fury. But before he can act upon it, throwing aside his zen policy to bestow you with an aggressive line of questioning— that he is absolutely not entitled to, at all— you hold up your hand, shutting him up.

“And I think we should stop seeing each other.”

In that moment, nothing but utter horror slashes through every fiber of Hyunjin’s being. Of all of the scenarios he’d gone through in his mind, the worst case is actually happening— goddamnit, universe. What would the point of life be if you weren’t in his, anymore? “Are you… are you breaking up with me?”

You give Hyunjin a pitiful smile that makes him want to go crawl into a hole somewhere and die. “That’s one way to put it, I guess. But I’m your client. This is a good sign.”

That’s not all you are. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This can’t be real. 

“You know what I mean!”

“Shouldn’t you be happy for me?” You purse your lips. “I guess I’ve finally moved on from Jisung, now that I’ve slept with someone else. I can finally go forth in the world without his shadow holding me back. I’m completely over it.”

Hyunjin closes his eyes, lightly massaging his temples using the stress-prevention technique that his old masseuse taught him before she moved back to Thailand. It doesn’t work. Fuck, is he sweating? “Well, I think you’re not completely over it. This is a step, not the destination. Having sex with a guy you just met is definitely not what we programmed into your love life GPS— we’re still driving! Besides, you still have a month of sessions left on your contract!”

“Uhhh, okay.” You give Hyunjin a puzzled look that makes him cringe inwardly— fuck his fruity metaphors. “Either way, I just don’t think I need your help anymore, to be honest. But I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“No.” Hyunjin shakes his head stubbornly, resolve set deep inside of him. If you wanted him to get all technical and make himself sound like a pretentious prick, then fine. Anything to keep you from leaving. “As the person who you have entrusted to provide you with a professional opinion, I do not accept your rationale for ending our contract. It’s sudden, and you’d just be wasting your own money because everything was prepaid. It doesn’t make sense for you to go like this, don’t you think? Talk to me.”

And Hyunjin sees you pause, the doubt written across your gorgeous features. You put on a little eyeliner today, and when your eyes crinkle in doubt, the winged ends of the liner downturn, making you look impossibly cute. Hyunjin wants nothing more than to kiss that pout on your lips— not smooth it away, but make it his, somehow, to watch you look down at him with that same expression when he’s on his knees for you.

He waits with bated breath, until you finally throw your hands up, relenting. “Okay. Alright. But only because I have a month left. After that, I won’t be renewing the contract.”

You grumpily sit back down on the sofa, and Hyunjin has to clench his jaw to keep from grinning like an idiot. “So, tell me. What’s gotten you so worked up?”

You sigh, looking away from Hyunjin as you toy with one of the beads on the skirt of your dress. You take your time thinking, and Hyunjin doesn’t rush you, wanting you to be as authentic as possible when providing him with an answer. “There’s this guy…”

Hyunjin then feels all of the blood drain out of face right then. If the abrupt announcement of your departure from SeoulSpark’s services had not sent him into a panic, then this definitely did. He sees that unsure yet determined look in your eye, the kind he’s observed appearing whenever you have a strong opinion to share, the thoughts of other people be damned.

“Who… who is it?” He manages to spit out, thinking back to his go-to metaphoric fork and stabbing himself in the thigh with it, over and over again, to keep himself in place. “Someone from the matchmaking event?”

“It’s not any of those guys, no. You probably don’t even know him. Some guy from work,” you explain quickly, prompting a fresh wave of confusion to wash over Hyunjin. “But that’s not the point. He’s, um, always on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about him, no matter how much I don’t want to. Because, for obvious reasons, I can’t be with him. And I don’t want to hurt him, because the pain from the past— from Jisung— is still there, even if I don’t love him anymore. I don’t trust myself with love.”

Love? Is that what this is? Do you love whoever this useless idiot is? 

Hyunjin’s thoughts cower in betrayal, even though you owe him absolutely nothing. He shakes them away, focusing on everything else you’ve just confided in him with. “It’s okay to not be completely over the past. You might never be, and that’s okay, because what you went through was traumatic. That kind of hurt sticks, and you’re strong for trying to move forward. But you can’t let the fear of the unknown stop you.”

You shake your head. “But it’s too significant to ignore, that fear. My worst nightmare is hurting him like Jisung did to me. What if I end up doing that, Hyunjin? What if I leave him, like Jisung left me?”

“Don’t compare yourself to that piece of shit,” Hyunjin says sharply, making you jump a little. Normally, he’d apologize for coming on too strong, but he couldn’t. Not when you talk about yourself like that. “And it’s just a risk you’re going to have to take. And if he’s really worth it, then he’ll stay by your side no matter what.” 

I would. I wouldn’t ever fucking leave you. 

Before you can say anything, Hyunjin keeps going, unable to restrain himself from asking this next question, because he has to know. He has to know if you truly mean it. “So, the question is, do you think he is? Is he worth it?”

“I love who I am because of him,” you state, and with the way your voice doesn’t even waver, Hyunjin knows it to be completely true. “I’m ten times less pessimistic than I usually am. He makes me feel like a morning person, even though I’m not. And I actually want to do more with my life, see everything it has to offer. He makes me a better person, but I never feel forced to do anything for his attention, for the way he cares.”

“He- he sounds wonderful,” Hyunjin responds, and he’s trying— he really is— but he just doesn’t believe he can be genuine, not now. Not when he feels his heart breaking inside, not when he knows he’s a selfish bastard who should be celebrating you. And what did he fucking expect? That someone wouldn’t see a diamond and pick it up, keeping it for themselves? He’s so, so stupid. 

“He is.” You give him a meaningful look that makes his head spin. Now, what does that mean? Hyunjin doesn’t have it in him to be an interpreter today, strolling across the shoreline rocks of your mind, trying to decipher what today’s tides bring. It’s his literal job to know what you’re thinking, and yet, today his mind is completely clear of any sense of logic.

“He makes me feel seen, even if he may never feel the same,” you continue, biting your lip. “He’s the most beautiful person I know.”

“I’m not supposed to say this, but anyone who wouldn’t return your feelings is a total idiot.” Hyunjin smiles at the way you shoot him a skeptical look. He wants to at least try to convey even a single sign that tells you that he’s glad you’ve found someone good, someone that could make you happy— what he could never do for you himself. “And I’m glad, Y/N. It’s a good thing we still have a month, because I can tell that there’s still some unease on your end, because you’re clearly holding yourself back. I just want the best for you.”

“I know,” you sigh. “I’m sorry if I was making a scene. I just so want to be done with all of this fixing. I just want to be ready to let go of all of that baggage, and I guess I was in a rush to do so.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize. Trust me, I get the feeling, more than you know.” Hyunjin reaches across and places his hand on yours, trying to relax you. “It’s okay to want to move on. It’s okay to be frustrated. And it’s okay to want someone. Let yourself be happy, because ultimately, you’re the only one who can control that, no one else.”

For the first time during your meeting today, you break out into a smile, and Hyunjin has to blink to readjust him to the sight. It’s like a rainbow has cut through a stormy sky, joining in a perfect Yin and Yang. Hyunjin loves all of you, both the color and the tempest, because together, they make you who you are. He wouldn’t change you for the world; all he’s ever done for you was try to make you realize that yourself.

“You are such a gift, Hyunjin,” you say fondly, and Hyunjin has to remind himself that it’s because you see him as a friend, as a confidante. It would never be in the way he completely wants it to be, and he’ll have to make his peace with that, for you.

“I know. All I’m missing is a big pink bow,” Hyunjin jokes, plastering a smile onto his face. For the first time ever, he wishes you would walk out of his office, taking with you your infectious laugh and incandescent gaze. You can’t be here when he falls apart like he so badly needs to. 

You laugh, thankfully not sensing his internal turmoil. “Alright, Hyunjin. I have to get going. But I’ll see you next week?”

He nods, rising as you stand and turn for the door. “Of course. Have a good one, darling.”

“Same goes for you.” You reach up and give his shoulder a little squeeze, before you’re walking away, too soon and yet, not fast enough.

From where you touched him over his cardigan, Hyunjin’s skin burns with desire. But it isn’t enough to keep him from clumsily shutting the door closed behind him as he stumbles back inside of his office. He screws his eyes shut and tries to rapidly think of a list of his favorite things. Pink roses. Sequined Versace blazers. Puppies. Monet paintings.

But he should know by now that such sorrow is inevitable. It was written in his fate, the moment he set his eyes and heart upon you, knowing he would never get that happy ending. After all, he’s the Love Doctor, not a miracle worker. He knows this to be true especially when he feels a dampness on his cheeks and thinks it to be some kind of bewitched rain that’s able to fall inside his office. It’s only when he looks into his compact mirror that he realizes that he’s crying, broken and hopelessly gone for you.

That did not go well. You walked into SeoulSpark with a plan and had promptly failed, when Hyunjin decided to persuade you into staying. But you gave in to his pretty eyes and assuaging words, conveniently forgetting about the half-hour long promises you made with yourself in the morning. 

You were supposed to end your contract, regardless of whether you would be wasting your money or not. That would have been a small price to pay for the pain of love. And you know you’re right, because you start to cry during your shameful walk through the parking lot.

You don’t know what it is that made you open up so profoundly to Hyunjin, past the point where it was safe to conceal your feelings for him. But you just had to keep speaking, going so far as to describe Hyunjin as the object of all of your agitation and pretending like it was someone else that he had no idea of. You’re a fraud, and your only consolation is that Hyunjin sees you so platonically that he probably would never catch onto your feelings. After all, in what world would someone like you being with someone of his caliber ever make any sense? And it’s ironic, really, that you’ve fallen for him, the person who is there to help you find someone else to spend lonely nights with.

After unlocking your car, you collapse into the front seat, letting all of your emotions out for a good few minutes into the night. When the sides of your face finally begin to dry, you open your eyes with a groan, turning the key in the ignition and driving back home. 

You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow, because that godforsaken networking party was looming sooner in the future than you’d like, and you still had to buy something to wear. Your current wardrobe was much more vibrant than it had been just a few months ago, the jeans and plaid blazers hidden behind fluttery sundresses and silky skirts. However, it was all far too casual for the heightened class that you knew the event would require, and therefore, you’d recruited Yeonjun to help you shop, with the promise of all of his meals being paid for the next day.

As soon as you get home, you toss your keys onto the little side table next to the doorway with a huff, knocking your heels off and not bothering to arrange them neatly back onto your shoe stand. With the efficiency of a carpenter ant on a mission, you march into your bathroom and slip out of that god-awful dress, changing into a pair of soft pink pajamas with a magenta heart pattern printed all over them. The set had caught your eye as you were strolling through Costco the other day, a little more expensive than you’d like, but they reminded you of Hyunjin, so into the cart they went. You could allow yourself this comfort, you tell yourself.

Once freshened up, you head into the kitchen, dumping some leftover pasta into a bowl to heat it up, glowering at the microwave as the seconds tick by far too slowly. And as always, you eat at your crappy dining table, alone. Just this morning, you had been sitting in this same place, brainstorming ways to secure project funding, navigating the path to reviving your old startup, ITEM.

Before Hyunjin, you had ditched the excitement of indulging in work, your passion, for more self-destructive, wasteful behavior. In the past few months, after meeting him, there was this renewed sense of productivity in you— he inspired you, made you ache to find your own success in the world. So even though Mark denied you the opportunity to participate in the upcoming function, you disobeyed him and secretly went through with your own idea anyway, especially after hearing through the office grapevine that a lot of big-name investors would be attending. Somehow, you decided, you would figure out a way to present to them and achieve your dream. It was optimistic, maybe a little foolishly so, but that hadn’t bothered you. 

Today, however, you felt this sense of loss that hadn’t touched you in a while. It was nothing related to work, fortunately, but still, you couldn’t focus, mind wandering to your meeting with Hyunjin at the end of the day. For the first time, the thought of him was hurting you, not motivating you. And it still hurts you, with the way you disinterestedly poke at your fettuccine. 

So when you go to bed that night, touching yourself to the thought of him doesn’t have the same velvety allure to it. No, it’s more of a physiological need that forces its way into your hand that glides down your body. It’s the rabic, animalistic desire that drives the tips of your fingers under the waistband of your shorts. It’s the anguish, the longing, that makes you spread your legs, hips bucking up against the mattress.

You had smiled at him, earlier today, after that short drama you’d exerted, when he calmed you down and placated you with a soft, but commanding tone. You had poured your heart out to him, holding back just his name on the tip of your tongue, and he had listened. And you had feigned being amiable, and he accepted it, when in reality, you were so fucking furious with Hyunjin.

After you paraded into his office like a brat, demanding to end the contract as if you cared nothing as to what he might think, he had still treated you with so much understanding, with a quiet concern. You haven’t lost your temper in a long time now, but Hyunjin never failed to respond so well, so kindly to you. In every way that you were irked, he remained calm and gracious. It makes you inexplicably angry, so much that you just want to scream into the cool Angeles night air, letting the sound reverberate off the crumbling buildings of your shitty neighborhood. You hate how good is to you almost as much as you despise yourself in your absolute lowest moments, moments like these. You don’t want the sensuality of his gaze washing over you, worshiping you. You don’t want to melt into his touch, let him take care of you. You don’t want to fuck him like a lover would— no, you want his tears, you want to ruin him like he has done so easily to you.

You think of Hyunjin and his lovely, lovely mouth. A lip pulled in between his teeth in thought, slightly slick with spit when he licks them before speaking. You want to feel the stretch of them around your fingers as you force them into his mouth, choking him and chasing away his breathy complaints. 

You close your eyes, the image of you working yourself with your fingers fading in favor of imagining Hyunjin doing it for you instead. You, gripping his wrist harshly, pumping Hyunjin’s own fingers into yourself, berating him for not being able to do it well enough on his own. 

Then you’d slap his hands away, pushing him onto your bed and straddle his narrow hips, grinding your dripping pussy onto his thighs while getting off both in the friction and Hyunjin’s pleas for you to ride his cock instead. 

But when you decide to put an end to his torture, it wouldn’t be for his pleasure. You want to fuck Hyunjin hard, fuck him sore, the minuscule gap between your bodies clogged and messy with sweat and a mixture of arousal and saliva, from where you’d spit onto his cock. You want him on his back, staring up at you hopefully as he falls apart, begging you to let him come. You want to refuse him, snap at him and make it mean, but he’ll come anyway, guilt and arousal on his beautiful face. Of course he’ll have to clean up his own mess, sucking obediently on your fingers covered with the come you had retrieved from where it was splattered between your legs. 

And then you’d kiss him, slow and deep, nothing like how you took him apart under the sheets. You’d cup his face and whisper praises, running your hands down his body. Declarations of love would fall from your lips, because no matter how much he worked you up, the truth would never change. 

You finish to that final thought, barely hearing the shameful, wet sounds of you abusing your cunt with your fingers that thrust in and out of yourself wildly. But even though you have already come, you cup your pussy again and run your finger, feather-light, through your folds, imagining it was Hyunjin’s lips placing a kiss there, instead. Imagining that no matter how many spiteful words you spat at him during the time you fucked him, he knew that you would never hate him. You understand, that no matter how enraged you have the potential to be, you will never, ever hate Hyunjin. Because you love him— so much that it hurts.

“You’d think that my body was made for Gucci, but there’s something about Privé that turns me on so bad.”

You fight the urge to gag as Yeonjun brings the ugly sweatshirt up to his chest, holding it up in front of the mirror in an attempt to model it on his scrawny frame. You briskly snatch it out of his hands and shove it back onto its hanger, grasping your cousin’s hand like a mother and her toddler. 

“Stop talking about brands like you want to fuck them,” you scold him. Yeonjun rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at you in retaliation, but doesn’t try to wriggle out of your hold when you drag him to the women’s section. Sometimes, you feel like you’re an exasperated single parent, toting him around and snapping at him to behave, even though he is barely three years younger than you.

As you enter the evening wear end of the department store, you let go of Yeonjun to sift through the variety of fabrics available. He gleefully bounces around, swishing through the dresses you’re both drowning in and nearly knocking a couple of them off of their racks. But you can’t find it in yourself to chide him again, not when he looks so happy to be here with you. Not that you would ever let him know that you have the capacity to be soft when it comes to him.

“This beats working on job applications,” Yeonjun sighs, sticking his arm through an armhole on a particularly gaudy tea gown. You snicker at how the satin pools beneath his underarms, making him look like a child cosplaying in their mother’s old outfits.

“How’s senior year? I haven’t even been asking you about school, lately.” The last part is less of a rationale for your question to him, and more of a surprised self-proclamation on your end. You can’t remember the last time you ever listened to Yeonjun complain about his ancient professors and weird roommate. The thought fills you with a certain sense of regret; you might not have a lot, but Yeonjun has always been there for you. Most of the time, he annoys you to no end, but his constant presence reminds you that you’re never alone.

The playfulness melts out of Yeonjun’s demeanor, a sight to see with someone who is always so easy-going, never taking life seriously. But you see the somber look in his eyes as he turns to gaze at you critically. “You’ve got a lot going on, I know that.”

You flush, mind automatically going to Hyunjin. Outside of the slice of your day in which you are truly focused on work, the rest of your time goes into dreaming about the attainable object of your fantasies. Eat, sleep, work, and think about Hyunjin. “I— yeah. Work’s been crazy. And reopening ITEM, as well. But that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

Yeonjun gives you a wry little smile, foxy and sly. “Work. Sure. Definitely not a certain sexy ass dating coach, right?”

For a guy that presents himself to be so unendingly superficial, Yeonjun has the ability to read people in the snap of a finger. You don’t understand why he tries to act so vapid when he has such a capacity— if you had such a power, you’d use it to no end. 

Your cheeks flush, embarrassingly evident. “Got me there, but I’ve already reached a resolution about him. I’ll go through with the rest of the contract, pull away gradually, and then stop seeing him. Easy.”

Except it is not easy, and both of you know it. Yeonjun rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “I just don’t get it. Why are you so down bad for him? He’s pretty, don’t get me wrong, but there are a lot of pretty people. He’s the guy who’s supposed to be setting you up with other people. Like, you’re not supposed to be falling for him.”

“I know, Jun,” you sigh. “But I think we’re more alike than outward perceptions allow. I feel like he never really lets his guard down around other people. I just wish I could have the chance to make him feel as seen as he does for me. He’s like no one I’ve ever met.”

Yeonjun stays quiet for a long moment, scrutinizing the way you lower your eyes and resume haphazardly shuffling through the dresses. “I think you should tell him how you feel.”

You would burst into laughter at how ridiculous his proposition is, except it’s not funny at all. “Now that would be crossing the line. Our relationship is completely platonic. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be, to find out that the client you’re trying to help connect with others falls for you instead? I couldn’t do that to Hyunjin.”

“I think Hyunjin still deserves to know. He’s your dating coach, Y/N. If there’s anyone who can understand you, it’s him, because if he really cares about you, nothing about your relationship will change. And who knows, maybe he reciprocates. You never know.”

Listening to your cousin give you such advice makes you feel strange, but not in an unpleasant way. You truly are thankful for it, even if you might not completely trust in it. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Jun.”

Yeonjun looks like he wants to say more, but he seems to notice the note of finality in your voice and decides to move on. “Back to me. Ask me again, about how school’s going, and I’ll tell you all of the tea.”

“How is school going?” 

“Oh, thank God you asked. Beomgyu is still trying to get me to feature on his OnlyFans, but even though he’s a little creepy with it, he’s the only one who agrees to come thrift shopping with me. And he’s a pretty chill roommate overall, so I can’t really complain. Ugh, and it turns out, my evil ex is still obsessed with me…”

You grin and listen to Yeonjun ramble on about his very animated life at UCLA, thankful for the distraction as you comb through the racks. After a few minutes of tuning into Yeonjun’s story about how he walked in on Beomgyu hooking up with some guy named Jeongin, you freeze, because you meet eyes with the one person you wished you would never see again. Yeonjun’s babbling comes to a jarring stop, and you both just stare at the monster who tried to ruin your life.

“Y/N! Is that you?” 

He saunters forward as you stay rooted to where you are, and it’s like he has walked right out of an old photo album carrying the bitter memories of your past. You recognize those round, sparkling doe eyes, the ones that reminded you of the dark pearls in the milk tea drinks you both would always share at night markets. The same choppy, boyish haircut streaked with caramel, the locks you would quietly run your fingers through after every time you forgave him. That delicate, nearly fairy-like face, the one that you could never bring yourself to hate, no matter how much he pushed you. Park Jisung has not changed one bit, except for the space you used to clutch on his arms has now been occupied by someone new. 

The girl is stunning, you can admit, but on closer look, you realize that it’s Kazuha Nakamura, the last girl he cheated on you with, the one that severed the final threads of your relationship. She, on the other hand, looks completely different, with her blonde curls chopped into a dark Brazilian-permed lob that swishes when she tilts her head down derisively, surveying you from head-to-toe. She looks like the epitome of the girl that Jisung was always trying to get you to be, stuck into the mold of a life predetermined for her. And for the first time in a long time, you’re glad you didn’t fit.

You regain your bearings a moment later after the initial shock wears off, when Park Jisung laughs, a deep, rumbling sound that contrasts with the way Kazuha titters next to him. But instead of acknowledging Jisung, you turn to Kazuha first instead.

“Kazuha! What a surprise!” You smile sweetly at her while she just gapes at you blankly, clearly surprised by your absence of hostility. In the periphery of your eye, you can see Jisung ball his fists at his side, ever the narcissist to be irked by even a slight dearth of attention. “You look great, girl!”

“And you look exactly the same, Jisung,” Yeonjun says flatly in a way that obviously conveys insult, before slinging a protective arm around your shoulder. You stifle a snort, and watch the way Jisung rolls his eyes.

“Ever a delight, aren’t you, Yeonjun?” Jisung shoots him a venomous smile, that Yeonjun responds to with a cheesy little salute. This time, you can’t contain the chuckle that escapes your lips. 

Before anyone can say more, you pipe up, determined to have the last word in the conversation you have no intention of repeating. “It was wonderful to see you, Jisung. You and Kazuha make a lovely pair— hope it works out!”

With one last gracious nod of your head, you loop your arm through Yeonjun’s and move past where Jisung and Kazuha stand rooted to the spot, speechless. As you and Yeonjun flounce away, you feel Jisung’s gaze burning into the back of your neck, but you don’t care. Not anymore.

“Damn, and I thought I’d get to watch a fight today. I really would have liked to see that dickwad get his just desserts,” Yeonjun grumbles, but you see the impressed look on his face.

You feel an unfamiliar rush of both adrenaline and triumph coursing through your veins; you saved your anger, and yet, you know you’ve won. For months, you told yourself that if you ever got the chance to tell Jisung off, you would use it. But the thought didn’t bring you as much satisfaction as it did before, and besides, you have someone more worth your tears now. Seeing Jisung again didn’t affect you as much as it once would have, because you finally, truly have moved on. And comparably, your current predicament seems much more daunting than some loser who never deserved you. 

“They looked like morons when we didn’t give them the reaction they wanted. Besides, I’m taking the high road.”

“You’re boring when you’re not a bitch.”

“Thanks.” You grin, pausing your gait when you see it. The giddiness drains into something more mournful as you take in the dress, delicate folds of pink chiffon that dissolve into a painstakingly threaded gold-beaded skirt. “This is the one, Jun.”

Yeonjun doesn’t miss the beat of sadness in your voice, the thickness of your words. “Seriously though, you don’t have to talk about Jisung, but I feel like that’s not who you’re upset about. You don’t seem okay.”

“I’ve found my peace with Jisung, but there’s still something else.” You inhale sharply. “I’m in love with Hyunjin.”

He stays quiet for a moment, before taking the dress off of the rack for you. “This is on me.”

“I appreciate it, but you don’t have to—”

“I want to. And if you’re not busy tonight, I have somewhere to be, and I’d like it if you came with me. What do you say?”

You’re not oblivious— you recognize the sympathy, Yeonjun’s clear attempt to cheer you up, a switch-up from the banter you usually trade. Before, you would refuse, retreating home to bury yourself deeper into a hole. But for once, you don’t want to push away the people who care about you. So you accept and look forward, accepting the poignance of it all.

“Hwang Hyunjin, you’d better get your ass over here on time, or else I’ll—”

Hyunjin bursts into a dramatic fit of coughing, cutting off Seungmin’s nagging. “Remind me to take you to one of my yoga sessions. Your chakras are seriously off, but there’s nothing that Dr. Sachet can’t fix.”

“Hyunjin.” 

“I know! I just got here, Seungmin.” Hyunjin sighs, ending the call before Seungmin has the chance to say anything further. He slides his phone into his pocket, already regretting his choice to accept Seungmin’s request— which was actually more of a demand— to be his plus-one at his college reunion. 

Any other day, he would have loved to ditch his introverted activities to accompany his best friend to get tipsy and gossip about everyone’s glow ups. Today, however, all he really wants to do is curl up in his bed with Princess Diana and binge-watch Friends. But alas, his loyalty— and fear— for Seungmin won out, and now here he is, standing in a rounded glass elevator on his way up to Highlight, the upscale rooftop bar venue of the event. 

When the elevator finally reaches the top floor, the telltale bell dings, opening the door into what can only be described as high-end chaos: people decked out in crisp suits and cocktail dresses and jewels, as they crowd around the lighted bar counters, shouting out their drink orders to harried bartenders while trying to brag about how successful they’ve become over the past few years. Waiters walk around, serving hors d'oeuvres to the guests that promptly ignore them, and the orchestral jazz, courtesy of the live band crowded into the corner, is drowned out by the raucous laughter of a group of men situated at a section of tables next to the windows. The whole effect is ridiculously ostentatious, and even Hyunjin has to restrain himself from letting his lip curl with disgust.

“Fuck, there you are.” Hyunjin feels a warm hand on his shoulder, and turns to see Seungmin staring at him with an overwhelmed look in his eye.

Hyunjin takes in his friend for a moment, admiring his black and white silk polka dot shirt that’s tucked into a pair of belted navy slacks. At least someone at this place had style, and it’s always a pleasure for it to be Seungmin, as by now, Hyunjin has gotten used to seeing him wearing bloodied scrubs. “You look good, man. But why in the world would you want to come here and see all of these jerks?”

Seungmin shrugs, and Hyunjin is surprised to see a slight blush overtake his features. He traces Seungmin’s wandering gaze over to the edge of the open balcony, where a devastatingly handsome man strangely stands on his own, sipping on his cocktail while observing the view of skyscrapers stretching out around the building. Ah. 

“He’s Seungcheol, isn’t he? Your old crush that you never talked to? That’s why we’re here?” Hyunjin teases, remembering those nights when he got Seungmin tipsy enough to confess his unrequited feelings for Choi Seungcheol, the resident heartbreaker of the pre-med student body at UCLA. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Seungmin grumbles, but his complexion betrays him, turning as red as a tomato. 

Hyunjin laughs heartily, thanking a passing waitress before accepting a mango and vanilla parfait from her tray. “Alright.”

And then it’s Seungmin’s turn to check out Hyunjin, who strikes a little pose and preens at the attention. “I don’t know how, but even with all of your designer shit, you never seem like a dick.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Hyunjin grins. Hyunjin never dresses to appease the dress code— instead, he makes it his bitch, and does it in a way that’s classy, not ostentatious. It’s clear in today’s sophisticated yet roguish ensemble: a crisp white Givenchy suit paired with Nike Air Forces to deflate the grandiose of the former brand. And the sheer black tank top and silver chain-link necklace under his oversized blazer was just enough to add a touch of gender-bending sexiness. 

The corner of Seungmin’s mouth quirks up, and he hooks his arm into Hyunjin’s, steering him towards a high table tucked into a more quiet section of the bar. “Having fun, Hyun?”

Hyunjin fights a smile. “Moresoe now that you’re here with me, babe.”

That is Seungmin’s cue to shove Hyunjin away, who continues to bat his lashes prettily. “I hate you. I should’ve asked Nicholas the hot nurse to be my date instead.”

“But then you couldn’t flirt with our Seungcheol!”

Seungmin groans, head falling onto the table, lolling to the side hopelessly. “I don’t even know how to approach him, though. I mean, did you see him? He just managed to get even more gorgeous! His hair? His height? He’s totally out of my league.”

Hyunjin immediately morphs into wingman mode. “Trust me, I can just tell he has a thing for cute nerds. And, not to be crass, but his body language screams brat tamer.”

“I am not a brat,” Seungmin scowls. 

“Touché.” 

After a few more minutes of hyping Seungmin up, Hyunjin triumphantly sits back and watches his friend slink off in the direction of Seungcheol; he snickers to himself when Seungmin tentatively taps on Seungcheol’s shoulder, shaking like a fangirl about to ask a celebrity for a picture. Seungcheol turns, a friendly beam cutting across his stern features. Seungmin says something indiscernible to Seungcheol that makes him laugh, and that’s Hyunjin’s sign to leave the rest to his friend. 

By this time, the company around him has eased slightly, with everyone digging into the buffet-style dinner that the caterers have set out. 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Hyunjin mutters under his breath, thinking back to the flimsy cup of ramyun that he had scarfed down earlier. He picks up a plate from one of the long tables and gets in line, mouth already watering at the spread of food. After loading his plate with copious helpings of every dish of carbs in sight, he also makes sure to secure dessert, snagging a couple pastries and slices of cake. The gaggle of ladies behind him shoot him pointed looks, but he ignores them, walking away to find seating; he’s needed this, after the week he’s had.

He winds up sitting next to a giddy couple that just cannot keep their hands off of each other. Most of the time, when he winds up somewhere with people who exhibit excessive public displays of affection, he tries to discreetly slip away or make himself as unknown as possible, the hopeless romantic in him quietly cheering them on. Now, however, he unceremoniously plops onto the farthest end of the loveseat opposite of them, all alone and just grateful that the food is good.

“Earth to Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin looks up, mouth stuffed embarrassingly full of a caprese salad sandwich. “Mrph?”

Seungmin stands there, hands on his knees while he pants a little to catch his breath. “You will not believe what just happened.”

“Well, what happened?”

“Seungcheol and I are going out to dinner tomorrow!” Seungmin huffs, cheeks flushed a bright red as he looks over at Seungcheol where he’s standing by the elevator. Seungcheol gives him a shy smile before quickly looking away. Seungmin smirks and leans down to speak into Hyunjin’s ear. “And he just asked me if I have any plans for the rest of the night.”

He leans back to gauge Hyunjin’s reaction, which, in Hyunjin’s knowledge of his friend, does not disappoint. Hyunjin gasps theatrically and nearly drops his plate in trying to clap him on the back in congratulations. “That’s my man!”

“That’s right!” 

Hyunjin grins. “Even your ship name would be cute. 2Seung. Meant to be.”

“You’re such a dork.” Seungmin rolls his eyes, but fails to hide his blush. “Now, I’m gonna go get railed by the man of my dreams.”

Hyunjin bids Seungmin goodbye, remaining enthusiastic up until the moment he sees Seungmin and Seuncheol take their leave. As soon as they do, he lets his smile fall. He’s happy for Seungmin, really. He just wishes it could be him disappearing into that glass elevator with his lover. He would press you up against that heavy gold railing that rounds the inside, kissing you as you begin your descent down the building. Kissing you as fireworks go off in the distance, brighter than the Los Angeles skyline. Kissing you even when the elevator door opens, an irked crowd of people waiting to get in. He wishes he could flaunt you off to everyone in the world, show everyone how perfect you are for him. 

Hyunjin is so lost in his muddled, wistful thoughts that he doesn’t notice the couch dip, someone just as miserable as him occupying the tiny space next to him. 

“Hyunjin?”

He turns his head, slowly, to see you, of all people, glaring at him with a bewildered expression on your face. He remains in a momentary stunned silence, taking in the slight redness of your nose, how watery your eyes are. The space in between your eyebrows that’s painfully scrunched. The way your lips are pressed together tightly. You’ve been crying. Still gorgeous, no matter what.

“Darling?”

For the second time today, you are caught off guard. You have been stewing in your loneliness all evening, ruminating over your hopelessly unrequited love. It surprised you, a little bit, how you were barely affected by the run-in with Jisung, but that faded away when you took your first sip at the absurdly lavish open bar. For others, alcohol can be liquid courage— for you, it’s a depressant that brings out the sad drunk in you.

You shake your head, trying not to let the immediate horror seep into you. But how can it not, when the gorgeous man you are in love with has just become witness to your ugly tears for the second time? And from where did he just appear out of, when you thought you were going to be able to spend your time wallowing in your sorrows alone? Life is truly unfair.

“What- what are you doing here?” You sputter. 

You imagine that Hyunjin looks stunned, for a moment, but his face lights up when he realizes that it is you who is the mess curled up next to him. If he seems put off by the remnants of your crying, he does not show it. “I was here as my friend’s date, but it seems as though he’s ditched me for a better one.”

He gives you a furtive smile that makes you feel like you’re in on a joke, and in spite of your pitiful state, you immediately feel the warmth spread through you. “The Love Doctor always works, doesn’t he?”

“It’s my nine-to-five, as well as my five-to-nine,” Hyunjin jokes, chuckling. “So, you’re a UCLA alum? You didn’t strike me as the sort, I didn’t think.”

You scoff playfully. “Absolutely not. Proud Case Western grad here. Where else would I get my inherent computer geek complex?”

Hyunjin’s eyes sparkle. “Then what brings you here?”

“My cousin.” You jerk your chin in the direction of Yeonjun, who’s currently trying to break up a fight between two men who seem to be arguing about something related to stocks. “He’s trying to fulfill his senior undergraduate community service requirement by volunteering at this thing. But this is barely community service— I think the UCLA Alumni Association just wanted some free labor.”

Hyunjin laughs at your shitty joke, and you nearly feel like your attitude just turns up at that sound, unfurling like petals when touched by sunshine. “Are you enjoying the party?”

“Too kitsch.” You tilt your head towards the dizzying display of debauchery currently swarming your little bubble: most of the guests have separated into their own cliques by now, and the one closest to you has set up an uproarious gambling circle on their table. This is a bit much, even if for a swanky college reunion.

“Agreed.” Hyunjin stays quiet for a moment, and you watch him curiously, wondering what he’s thinking of. He relieves you a moment later. “Darling, I don’t want to intrude, but I just wanted to ask if everything’s okay?”

You hesitate to answer, because although you know he genuinely wants to check up on you, given the astronomically considerate person he is, you don’t want to burden him with your problems— especially if the problem is him. So you do what any sensible person would do and deflect. “It’s a long story. How about we check out the bar?”

You expect him to turn you down, but maybe you’re not the only one who needs a drink, because he accepts. “I feel like I’ll regret it, but alright.”

Hyunjin helps you up from where you sit, grabbing your purse for you and handing it to you as you stand, making your heart squeeze even tighter in your chest. But you both make your way over to the open bar, snagging two seats at the very end of the counter on one side. 

The teariness made your intoxication a bit more discreet, so you’re openly able to ask for a beer without raising Hyunjin’s eyebrows. Hyunjin, on the other hand, orders a pink champagne on the rocks. He really is so sophisticated. After you both finish speaking with the bartender, he turns to you, placing his elbow on the counter and propping up his chin in his arm. The soft smile on his face fits perfectly as his eyes lock onto yours, and it feels… flirtatious. 

You’re suddenly transported into all of those times you were alone at a bar, men approaching you with a similar demeanor, but with very much different intentions. Therein, with Hyunjin, the aura of respect and boundaries still hangs in the air, so it doesn’t linger, no matter how much you wish it would stay. 

The bartender sets your choices in front of you, and you try to enjoy the drink, but the overwhelming bitterness of it just makes everything come crashing down. You sniffle, and then immediately hope that Hyunjin has not noticed that you are beginning to cry pathetically— again— into your mug of beer.

Hyunjin looks concerned, leaning forward as if to put his arm around you, but after a moment’s hesitation, he retracts his arm and instead, focuses on your face. "Y/N?"

Shit. You try to laugh it off as an extremely severe case of allergies, but even besides the fact that there's barely any pollen in the concrete jungle of Los Angeles, you suck at acting. Too bad Hollywood is only a ten-minute commute from your apartment.

"I’m… I’m okay. I'm totally okay." You try to laugh it off, but instead, it sounds like a strange, very unattractive quack. The thick tears that begin to roll down your cheeks are not even necessary for Hyunjin to call you out. He is not buying any of it.

"Darling, please. Don’t lie to me.”

"Hyunjin, I'm fine! God!"

At this point, you're full on sobbing in the middle of the room, and people are shooting you weird looks. Hyunjin should leave. Being seen with a mess like you could taint his spotless, perfect image, and outside of his office, he has absolutely no obligation to you. Fuck, you don’t even know why you’re being such a crybaby— before Hyunjin, you could actually down booze without losing it on the spot, especially surrounded by a bunch of strangers.

But as if he couldn’t tug at you anymore, he doesn’t think this time to cross the miniscule space between you both and pull you into a tight hug. You feel like utter crap, and it’s been so long since someone just held you, assuring you that everything is going to be fine. But you can’t help notice one insignificant detail: Hyunjin smells fucking amazing and expensive and elegant— perhaps Chanel or Tom Ford? And in that glorious suit too, he’s like the real-life, less embarrassing embodiment of the mafia overlords that dominated your questionable high school fanfiction phase. Fuck. This isn’t helping the situation.

Hyunjin, meanwhile, rubs soothing circles on your back, definitely unaware of your inappropriate intrusive thoughts. “Shhh, it’s going to be okay. Do you wanna get out of here?”

You blink up at him tearily, mind frazzled but remembering your engagement. “But, Yeonjun…”

And as if the devil whispers in his ears, your cousin manifests out of thin air, collapsing onto the empty stool next to you. “My dear cuz, smack some sense into me if I ever volunteer again with— wait. Bro, are you crying?”

The shame piles up on you again, heating up your skin in a way that’s too obvious. But before you can muster up a lie, Hyunjin speaks for you, taking the mug away from your hands. “I think it’s best if Y/N gets some rest, she isn’t feeling too well.”

Yeonjun just stares dumbly at Hyunjin for a second, jaw hanging open a little, as it does for anyone when they are first in the presence of Hwang Hyunjin. “I, uh. Yeah. That’s good. You’re Hwang Hyunjin, right? Her dating coach?”

Even through your intoxication, you feel like you see something flicker in Hyunjin’s eyes, but as always, it doesn’t last. “Yes, it’s wonderful to meet you, Yeonjun. Y/N has spoken a lot about you.”

“Same to you.” Yeonjun snickers, before clearing his throat and turning serious. “Listen, man, I hate to ask you this. But can you please help her home? I can text you the address? I really can’t leave this stupid shindig until it’s over, but I don’t wanna leave her alone—”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of her.” Hyunjin states firmly, motioning to the bartender to bring you a large class of water. The way he’s looking out for you brings up something hot, aroused in your stomach. 

Yeonjun nods, and to his credit, he really does look as apologetic as you can discern in your drunk haze. Hyunjin helps you finish your water, before buying a water bottle for you to sip from, as he slides his arm around your shoulders and helps you out of that terrible room. In most cases, when sober and thinking straight, you would be as rigid as a bar, humiliated and unsure of what to do with yourself. But you let yourself have this, just once, melting into his side and enjoying your misery more than you should.

Sometimes, Hyunjin really can be such a piece of shit. Like the time he promised Princess Diana extra cuddles before bedtime, but forgot because he had been working late at SeoulSpark on some overdue reports; he had felt like such a horrible father to his baby. Or the time he mentioned a Gucci product during an interview, inadvertently advertising for Versace’s biggest competitor; Donatella wouldn’t reply to his texts for nearly a week. But all of that seems tame in comparison to today.

You’ve had too much to drink and can’t stop crying, and here Hyunjin is, thinking about how much he wants to kiss you. In his defense, you look so adorable, with your cheeks flushed from the alcohol, eyes drooping with drowsiness and lips pouted preciously. But it’s still highly inappropriate of Hyunjin to be thinking of you in such a way, so he shoves those treacherous thoughts into the back of his mind and focuses on staring at anything but you.

After a few swipes on the Uber app, your ride pulls up in front of the hotel in which Highlight is located inside. At this point, you’ve become pliant in Hyunjin’s arms, cuddling into his side and clutching at his waist. Hyunjin can barely breathe, and is vastly thankful for the distraction of the car's arrival.

He helps you into the backseat of the car, before getting in from the other side. The drive back to your place is quiet, save for the breezy orchestra music that the driver plays on the low and the soft sounds of your sniffling. Hyunjin clenches his jaw and stares out the window, trying to focus on the green highway signs whizzing by and not the fact that you’re barely centimeters away from him, humming sadly along to the radio. 

Twenty minutes pass, and suddenly, you’re both standing in front of your apartment building, an old but dreamy housing complex tucked away in one of the quieter sectors of the city. Hyunjin walks you up to your door, telling himself that he’ll leave as soon as you’re safe inside. He watches you sway on your feet a little while you take a few extra minutes to fumble with the door lock. Hyunjin wants you to go inside and slam the door in his face, bringing him back to his senses. Instead, you look over at him, a lilt to your voice.

“Wanna come inside?” You slightly slur over your words, giving him a small glance. It’s innocent enough that Hyunjin knows your motives are pure, even if a tiny part of him wishes they weren’t. 

He hesitates, the logical side of his mind screaming at him to politely refuse and bid you a goodnight. But then again, he hasn’t been very logical whenever it comes to you. He now promises himself that this is just a little post-party hangout. You can be friends, can’t you? And besides, you need someone to look after you. And friends look after each other, don’t they?

Hyunjin steps inside, instantly in awe of your apartment. The open floor concept allows him to explore the entire layout with his eyes, from the soft throw blanket lying on your very comfortable-looking couch to the bellowing linen curtains hanging over your windows. The mismatched furniture and nearly overflowing book cases are incredibly charming, the artful dissonance of your decor coming together in a harmony that just makes everything feel so cozy. 

In Hyunjin’s mind, your apartment is so quintessentially you, a feeling of home that his own place never quite felt like. Yes, he loves Oasis more than anything, but there’s this slightly pretentious air to it, this urge to keep it constantly pristine. It feeds into Hyunjin’s obsession over perfection, instead of being the one place where he can truly be himself. Here, however, Hyunjin feels comfortable, secure in his own skin, even when in reality, he probably looks ridiculously out of place in his over-the-top outfit.

“Hm,” you mumble, prompting Hyunjin to whirl around and rush forward to steady you when you lean a little too forward. “Do you wanna drink?”

Hyunjin frowns at you while you just giggle nonsensically. You’re nowhere near sober, but at the very least, at least you’re not distressed anymore. Hyunjin hates to see you upset; your face was made for smiling.

“Absolutely not. We have done enough drinking for today.” Hyunjin chides you sternly. “You can’t go to bed on an empty stomach, though.”

You prop yourself on one of the chairs at your dining table, giving him an anticipating look that Hyunjin takes as permission to rummage through your cupboards. After looking through the fridge as well, Hyunjin settles on cooking you his comfort grilled cheese recipe. He pours you a glass of water and gives you a little pat on your head when you obediently finish the entire thing and accept another.

You quietly watch Hyunjin while he putters around the kitchen; the sheer domesticity of it all makes him yearn for this to be a regular occurrence. He’d cook for you everyday, filling you to the brim with all of the affection you deserve. But that’s not going to happen, so he keeps his head down and concentrates. Hyunjin flips the sourdough bread on the griddle until it’s golden brown, spreading liberal amounts of butter on each side. And the pièce de résistance, he adds one-third white cheddar, one-third yellow cheddar, and one-third American cheese, his favorite combination of cheeses for a rainy day. 

“This is so yummy,” you declare after your first bite, eyes full of delight. “Here, have some. You’re such a good cook, Hyunnie.”

Hyunjin doesn’t know whether to be more shocked at the fact that you’re holding out your own sandwich for Hyunjin to try, or how you just called him such an endearing nickname. “I– it’s okay, darling. I’m not hungry.”

But you don’t accept it, because it looks like you’re just as stubborn even when inebriated. “You need to taste, or else I’ll be sad.”

You flash him a heartbroken set of puppy dog eyes that makes him melt and give in. He reaches across the rickety little table and tries to take the sandwich in his own hands, but you pull away slightly and hold it out to him expectantly. Oh. 

Hyunjin gingerly leans forward and lets you feed him a bite of the grilled cheese. He chews quickly, trying not to blush under the intensity of your gaze. Once he swallows, he watches you finish off the rest of the sandwich, satisfied with his compliance. When you’re done, you look up at him proudly, and he just can’t help but be endeared by you. 

Hyunjin clears the table and washes the dishes, wiping his hands on the fluffy towel hanging from the oven handle. After a moment’s hesitation, he reaches out to brush a few stray crumbs off of the corner of your mouth, trying not to revel in the sensation of how soft your lips are under his thumb.

“Thank you,” you say, giving him a guileless smile while you bite down on an orange-colored candy from the small bowl on the counter. “Let’s do something fun, that party was so boring.”

Hyunjin lets you wrap your fingers around his wrist, pulling him to the living room and onto the couch. He huffs out a laugh as you clumsily fall onto the sofa, moving to get comfortable. “What are you thinking?”

You tap your chin dramatically, making a show of trying to decide what to do. “How about… karaoke?”

Hyunjin grins and takes the TV remote that you hand him, hopping onto YouTube and flipping through the list of lyrical videos. “Any preference for a song?”

You shake your head vigorously. “Surprise me.”

He settles on “Gone Away,” a ballad by one of his favorite underground rock bands. The slow notes of a love song float out through the speaker, the lovely voice of the lead singer, J.One, filling his ears. He nervously glances over at you, but you give him an encouraging nod, and Hyunjin lets himself go.

“Inside collapsed time, even my hopes for us to be together, no longer matter,” Hyunjin sings along to the lyrics, the song resonating within him more than he wishes it did. “My love, tangled up while looking for you, is gone, gone away, gone away.”

“I don’t think I can stop you from leaving anymore,” you join in softly, and Hyunjin looks over at you in surprise, but you’re staring straight ahead at the TV. He tamps down his nerves and gets through the rest of the song with you, both of you somehow harmonizing together in tune. At some point in the middle, the tears start pouring down his cheeks slowly, in the way he can never control. He just hopes that you don’t notice every time he reaches up to swipe at them, before inevitably fall.

The song doesn’t finish quick enough, and an advertisement begins to run on autoplay, but Hyunjin can’t bring himself to look at you again, terrified of the way his heart beats so deafeningly in his chest.

“Hyunjin.”

Serious, without a single hint of playfulness. Hyunjin clears his throat and lifts his head to see your indecipherable expression. He notices the traces of haziness in your eyes, but there’s undeniable determination written across your face. “Yes?”

“Don’t cry,” You nearly sob out, breath catching in your throat. “It doesn’t suit such a beautiful person to be filled with so much grief.”

Hyunjin covers up his astonishment at your words with denial, trying to push them off as an emotional reaction to the song. But you’ve just called him beautiful, and that cannot be covered up. “I’m sorry, that was a bit much.”

You swallow harshly, the dry sound of it audible. Maybe Hyunjin should excuse himself to bring you some water and escape this conversation. But— “You can never be too much. I want you, all the time. I think of you, all the time.”

This time, Hyunjin is effectively rendered gone. Frozen to the couch, time stopped and his train of rational thought put on hold. He reruns the sentence in his brain, trying to piece them together. You want him. You think of him? You want him? His confused, frantic contemplation is interrupted when you crawl over the couch and lift your palm to cup his jaw, so close that he can nearly feel the soft puff of your breathing against his face. Fuck, you’re still drunk.

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” you murmur. Hyunjin is sure he has died and gone to some otherworldly dimension— maybe heaven, or hell, depending on how the higher powers have judged his situation to be— when he feels your lips slot against his, reeling him in like a needle through thread. So what else can he do, but accept what you give him and circle his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer so you’re on his lap.

You taste like the mango candy you popped earlier, sweet with a hint of tanginess, and it’s driving Hyunjin absolute nuts. Your eyes flutter shut and so do Hyunjin’s, both of you melting into each other, diving into the dangerous waters that Hyunjin swore that he wouldn’t tread. But he can’t stop, he just can’t, not when you lick into his mouth with a passion to rival the one he’s felt for you since day one. 

“Hyunjin…” You whisper, a long, obscenely drawn-out syllable that’s reminiscent of the noises that Hyunjin imagined eliciting from you. That one sound snaps him out of it. You’re drunk, you’re drunk, and this means nothing. This means nothing to you, and he’s just been here, the unfortunate sap to receive your sweet, empty words just because he’s been here for you once. He doesn’t deserve any of it. You’re not going to remember any of it. You are so fucking drunk.

Before he knows it, he’s shoving you off, and with the way you heavily land on the cushion next to him, he wasn’t gentle at all, in his panic. You just stare at him with a half-dazed, half-dismayed look on your face that makes him cringe away. 

“I am so sorry,” Hyunjin croaks, grabbing his phone and scrambling to stand up. He will pull himself together, eventually, in time to see you for the next appointment. And then he will remind himself that he is a mere service to you, and nothing more. As it should be, and as it always was.

Hyunjin doesn’t even wait for your response before he’s running out the door and into the night.

You come to at around noon, groggily blinking a few times before the memories come flooding back in. You drinking yourself stupid at the bar. Hyunjin leading the way back home. Karaoke while relaxed on your shitty couch from Craig’s List. Kissing like in a movie before the atomic bomb dropped. You kissed Hyunjin. Your drunk, sentimental ass was lucid enough to remember your feelings, but not sober enough to remember to conceal them. You kissed Hwang motherfucking Hyunjin, and you have colossally fucked up. 

You scream about it for a good half hour, ripping at your hair and keeling over on the couch, dry heaving in a failed attempt to let out your guilt. It sticks. You’re mortified. Scared. Disgusted. How, how could you do that to him? Taking advantage of him when he was in your own home? You didn’t even get proper consent from him! You are such a damn asshole, and now, Hyunjin is probably never going to want to see you again. 

All you want to do is jump under your covers and cry yourself to a sleep that you’ll never have to wake up from. But you love Hyunjin too much to do that to him. You owe him an apology and the entire world, which you have no qualms about bringing to him if he asked you.

And that’s why you’re at SeoulSpark, ignoring the fear pulsing in your body as you push open the door, closing your eyes as the cool gust of the air conditioning washes over your skin. But the drop in temperature does nothing to tamp down the nerves boiling under your skin. 

All of the composure that you have carefully curated in the past few minutes shrivels up— charred to a crisp and punted out of Hyunjin’s ridiculously extravagant floor-to-ceiling windows— when you lay eyes on him. Because that’s the effect he’s always had on you, and you feel like an idiot for not already anticipating that familiar cyclone of emotions that hits you whenever he’s in vicinity. 

There he stands, gazing out at the view leisurely spread out at his feet, lax hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers like he has no worries at all. In the perfect world, you could have just an ounce of his self-command, of how assuredly he carries himself. You envy him almost as much as you want him. Almost. 

When he turns away from the glass at the sound of entrance, the sharp angle of his side profile is shadowed by the light pouring in from behind him, portraying him as some magnificent sort of Greek god. And he might as well be, with the way he has directed both torrents of lightning and spelled arrows through your heart. 

You just stand there awkwardly as he steps out of the sun and completely into your vision; you don’t trust that there will ever be a day when you are not so devastatingly floored by his beauty. The buttons of his shirt are haphazardly hooked in a way that seems not so careless, but more effortless, and you have to fight everything in yourself to not stare at the smooth expanse of skin revealed at the top. 

The moment Hyunjin recognizes the intruder of his office as you, his lips erupt into a smile that seems too genuine given the stunt you pulled just a few hours prior. If he carries any disgust towards you as a result of last night’s events, he doesn’t show it. Warmth pools in his eyes like honey, and you find yourself swimming in it, insatiable and begging for more of that lovely taste. You wish you knew how it would feel to have him look at you so sweetly while he harshly fucks into you, a complete juxtaposition to the adoration painting his expression.

“Hey,” you wave your hand lamely, and then immediately mentally punch yourself in the face; you really missed your calling as the awkward main character of a Disney original show. 

“Good morning, darling. I wasn’t expecting you today.” Hyunjin gestures towards the sofa and you hastily sit down on it, whereas Hyunjin elegantly settles himself across from you. 

“I know.” You avert your gaze, feeling the blush creeping up your neck and onto your face. “Last night was, uh, something.”

That’s one fucking way to put it.

Hyunjin lets out a surprised little chuckle, a sound so cute that you have to ponder ways to inconspicuously pinch your arm. “Well, I was talking about how you didn’t have an appointment. But I’m glad that you’re using the walk-in hours.”

“Yeah… so I thought we should maybe talk about what happened,” you stutter out, shifting under Hyunjin’s steady gaze. “I don’t even know where to begin though.”

Hyunjin hums encouragingly. “It’s okay. What do you want to tell me?”

You take a deep breath, thinking back to the previous night. “I’m sorry. I crossed so many lines yesterday and I was too drunk out of my mind to even tell. I must have made you feel so uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing I would ever want to do.”

And you mean every word. You would rather hurtle yourself into the Grand Canyon than hurt Hyunjin, Hyunjin who has been so good to you even when you never deserved it, Hyunjin who you’re hopelessly and utterly in love with. Hyunjin, who you can never have.

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything during that miniscule gap in which you pause, so you take it as a sign to keep going. You’d rather get it off your chest all in one go anyway, as you fear you may not be able to finish if you stop. “I get it if this changes things. If you don’t want to see me anymore.” 

You shut your eyes as soon as you finish speaking, too apprehensive to see his reaction. This is it. This is the part where he agrees and so very politely asks you to leave his office and never come back again. It’ll probably take Wonyoung all of five seconds to boot you out of Hyunjin’s Google calendar, and then Hyunjin will go back to charming the next poor sucker to walk into his office. Gosh, you want to continue being that poor sucker, as pathetic as it is.

“Did you mean any of it?”

Against every fiber of your being telling you not to, to stay in blissful ignorance, you pry your eyes open to see Hyunjin waiting with his arms folded. Something about the intensity of his gaze, coupled with the unexpected potency in his usually soft voice, makes you shift uneasily. 

“I know it was inappropriate. I’m sorry—”

Hyunjin cuts you off, shaking his head in exasperation. “I need you to tell me the truth. Did you mean what you said to me last night?”

You tilt your head down so that you get an eyeful of the plush rug spread under the sofa. Of course you meant everything. You might have been drunk, but the intoxication only brought out the deepest, most hidden parts of yourself; it gave you the courage to manifest what you want the most. But to admit anything to Hyunjin— again— when he clearly did not want any part in it would hurt even more, because this time, you didn’t have alcohol in you to numb the pain of rejection. 

“Why did you leave?”

For a moment, you think that Hyunjin will ignore your question and insist on you giving him a hard answer. Instead, he tentatively reaches his hand out and hooks his thumb and index finger under your chin, carefully angling your head up to meet your eyes. That familiar gentleness once again radiates from him, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from melting into it. In spite of how utterly miserable you feel right now, the telltale flutter of your heart betrays you. God, you want to be his. 

“I left because I didn’t know how much of it was real,” Hyunjin rasps. His words are hushed, but you feel the weight of them, soaked and dripping with both tenderness and hesitation. “I didn’t want you holding my heart when you couldn’t fully feel it in your hands.”

You exhale slowly, trying to ignore the false hope rising like bile in your throat. The way his eyes brighten whenever he sees you. The stolen glances you thought you were imagining all this time. Darling. It can’t be. “Hyunjin… what are you saying?” 

“Do you have feelings for me? Because I do.” Hyunjin purses his lips and slides his palm up to caress your cheek. “I have feelings for you, and I’m so tired of pretending that I don’t.”

“You what?” You search his eyes wildly for any sign of a joke, because you’re unwilling to believe that this is really, truly happening. All of your reasoning feels tightened by this nostalgic lavender haze, a dizzying sense of deja vu pulled from your thoughts. The ones in which you get to call Hyunjin yours. They cannot be real, not in this universe.

He nods bashfully, a pretty new color in his cheeks— a shade that both astounds and confounds you. The cherry lips that you’ve endlessly fantasized about shine red and swollen with how he has so anxiously bitten into them. Hyunjin’s eyes shine in the hazy glow of his sunset lamp, full of feeling and twinkling brighter than any high rise. You’ve never seen him like this, vulnerable and laid bare in front of you. You’ve always been the one to fall apart in front of him, and yet, here he is, surprising you once again. And that’s something that will never change, how he remains the warlock of your wildest dreams and unraveling sanity. 

“I haven’t been the same since we met.” Hyunjin murmurs, softly stroking the side of your face. “And- and after last night, I think I actually might be going crazy. Because maybe it’s not all in my head. Maybe you want me as much as I do. Do you?”

You shake your head, heart fluctuating with every emotion that has ever been registered in your mind. Exhilaration. Doubt. Fear. Devotion. You are so overwhelmingly in love with the man in front of you that it hurts, even when he stands in front of you with his heart in his hands. It hurts, because you know that no matter what, there’s no going back now. You know you can’t leave him alone now; you are completely and utterly his. 

“Hyunjin—”

“Y/N.” Hyunjin pleads, and all you can feel is disappointment at the address. Not darling. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. Just please—”

“Hyunjin.” You cut him off harshly, and he freezes, his arms dropping back to his side. You immediately feel the magnitude of losing his touch on your skin, and it does nothing to tamp down the mix of frustration and arousal inside of you. “Hwang Hyunjin. You drive me absolutely insane.”

There’s a moment of charged silence, before his lips are on yours. When you were younger, you’d spend hours hunched over romance novels and rereading the parts when the leads finally kissed, their repressed emotions finally amalgamating in one stunning, golden moment. But nothing about kissing Hyunjin feels golden; it never did. 

No, it’s an ardent, burning red, a fire blooming in the hands that you use to yank him closer to you, a distance that will always feel unending whenever it’s him. It’s sin, pouring over hot coals and shimmering ore, enchanting yet raw. It’s so perfectly imperfect, wet and frantic, shameless and desperate. It’s rose vines creeping up crumbling brick and the roll of thunder in the middle of the night. It’s you and him and no inhibitions whatsoever, until… 

“Wait, wait, wait.” To your disappointment, Hyunjin pulls back. Even though he was the one who kissed you, you don’t fail to recognize the uncertainty written on his reddened lips. 

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to block out the nagging thoughts in which Hyunjin has already regretted you. Moving out of his hold, you give him space by backing away. “Is everything okay?”

“I wanted to make sure that you are one-hundred percent okay with this. Like, I drive you insane in a good way, right? Not a bad way? Just checking. Consent is key and all,” Hyunjin breathlessly, letting out a nervous giggle. It’s a display that is shockingly similar to how you act whenever you’re agitated, and you never expected it to be put on by Hyunjin, of all people. It’s… cute. 

You give him a small smile, letting your handbag carelessly slip off your shoulder and onto the rug. You take a tiny step towards him, wrapping your arms around Hyunjin’s slender waist and reveling in how Hyunjin’s breathing quickens, pulse jumping with your touch. Drawing him close to you, just until your lips are barely touching, you look up at him through your eyelashes, focusing on that gorgeous beauty mark under his eye. 

“Hyunjin, is the door locked?”

He just stares at you for a good moment, and you let him, enjoying the way his lips part at your husky tone. “No. I didn’t lock it.”

“Good.” You lift your hand and trace the outline of Hyunjin’s bottom lip with your finger, observing the way he shivers at your touch. “Pay attention, because I’m about to prove to you just how much I like you.”

A blush speckled across his features is all that is needed to induce that familiar urge in you, the one that makes you unreasonably aroused. You want to make him yours, to take care of him and demonstrate to him specifically how insane you are for him. You want to make his wildest dreams come alive, just like he has done for you.

Hyunjin’s eyes flutter shut, a movement so delicate that it almost makes you cry. “Please… just touch me.”

Talking will come, eventually. Both of you will sit down tomorrow morning and establish what exactly this is, what you have done by that point— what you plan to do to Hyunjin now. You’ll find out what this is for Hyunjin— whether this is lust, a brazen act committed in the heat of the moment, or the complete opposite, what you’re too afraid to even think of. Your heart wishes for the latter to be true, for Hyunjin to want you not only as much as you want him, but in the same way as well. Maybe you can’t put it in words, what you feel for him, but you can show him your sincerity in other ways. It’s all you can imagine doing, after Hyunjin has currently rendered you with no other form of thought. Right now, it’s just you and him and a novel of proofs to be written on each other. 

And so you cup his cheek and draw his body closer to yours; this time, you move slowly, every action deliberate, exploring Hyunjin and his depths. Your lips touch his softly, a ghost of longing on skin. In turn, Hyunjin’s hands clutch at yours, silently asking you for more, and you indulge your prince, because there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him.

Hwang Hyunjin tastes like a sunrise, if dawn’s dainty fingertips blessing the sky with a brilliant, fiery spectrum of light could be encapsulated in that sense. Coffee ice cream, spearmint, unadulterated eroticism. Finally, you’ve found the end of your questions. You shut your eyes as Hyunjin slips his hands into your hair, pulling it out of its tight hold and deftly sliding the tiny pink elastic around his wrist. You mirror his actions, carding your fingers through his soft, silky strands and holding onto him as he deepens the kiss. Instinctively, almost, you part your lips, allowing for him to slip his tongue inside and have his own answers.

Hyunjin pulls back from you to look at you directly when he starts to run his trembling hands down over the curve of your hips, the way he regards you full of attention and lust. You are sure that the confidence that you might have projected earlier has diffused into something more unfocused, with the way you already feel so high off of Hyunjin. Taking control has always been something that has come to you easily, until Park Jisung subjugated that part of you. But you don’t mind it right now, Hyunjin taking all of you and turning you into a mess, because this is the very comfort that you’ve been craving for so long.

“Are you sure?” Hyunjin whispers, even though there’s no secret to be kept. He leans down so that his forehead touches your own, in a way that feels too intimate, but at the same time, it makes you want it and more. It’s a genuine question ringing with the slightest hint of hesitation, and yet, you can’t believe he has to ask you; you love him, even though you may not be able to say it, yet. 

“This. This is what you do to me.” You take Hyunjin’s hand into yours and lead it to the place between your legs that’s been begging for his touch since you first laid eyes on him, second to only your heart. Hyunjin’s eyes widen in surprise when you guide his hand under your skirt, pupils dilating in want when he realizes how drenched you are just for him. But his reaction is nothing compared to you, to how you suck in a sharp breath and try not to fall apart with just one touch.

That one sound is enough for his gaze to darken, before he’s gripping your hips like a vice and pushing you against his desk. You let out a small gasp at the roughness of the movement, and even more so at how Hyunjin is finally taking what has always belonged to him, and him only. In response, he captures your bottom lip with his teeth, nipping at you slightly, not enough to cause pain but just enough to have your back arching at the sting of it.

“Did that hurt?” Hyunjin asks you, a smirk painting his features as he drags his lips across your cupid bow ever-so-softly.

You try to hide your blush by rolling your eyes defiantly, fisting the collar of his shirt in your hands. “No, it didn’t.”

Hyunjin laughs as he places one last kiss on the corner of your mouth, before he’s moving to your neck, attentively peppering kisses along it just to garner more proof of the utter pleasure that has pervaded your senses— and he has barely even touched you yet.  

Your hands slide down to the bottom of his shirt and to tug at it, the desperation of the movement mirroring the pulse of your heart. Hyunjin lets you unhook the top few buttons before hastily tearing off the rest of it, the tiny silver knobs scattering across the floor. But you can’t think about the mess now, not when Hyunjin takes your hands in his and runs them down smooth, toned places of his torso. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters under his breath, easily untying your blouse with just his right hand, something that shouldn’t be as attractive to you as it is. He pushes it off of your body, the material now a nuisance to the way he begins to explore every inch of skin his lips can find purchase on. 

You decide to help him out, unzipping your skirt to step out of it, kicking it away along with your heels to some forgotten corner of the office. Seeing no point in prolonging your mutual misery, you also reach behind your back and unhook your bra to free your breasts to him, shrugging it off with a smile as you meet Hyunjin’s eyes.

“Do you want to touch me?” You give him a teasing grin, loving the way he audibly gulps when taking in how you’re nearly bare, all for him. 

“I want to fucking ravish you.”

You tense with his words and how his gaze hardens with the challenge, trying to maintain your cocky front. “Let’s see how you do, Dr. Hwang.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t reply immediately, the corner of his lips just barely tipping up. His fingers find the band of your panties, hooking under to pull you forward to him as he guides you to sit on the desk. “I can literally smell how wet you are for me, you know.”

And you nearly come to his words, but he doesn’t give you the chance, hands coyly smoothing up your stomach before gripping your panties on either side and ripping them off your body. Before the lace has even touched the floor, his mouth is on your cunt, blazing hot and wet. 

You gasp, sucking in a shattering breath as his lips move against your pussy as if spelling out letters in the filthiest language known to man. He envelops your clit with his lips in a slight kiss before you feel his tongue delve out, adventuring between your folds and getting his first, full taste of you. Hyunjin moans as he dips into you, blessing your ears with the prettiest sound to grace them, and it seems as if eating you out pleases him just as much as it does for you, if not more.

Hyunjin pulls away momentarily to look at your center, hands wrapping around your thighs and encouraging them even farther apart. Trailing kisses along your shin, he lifts your right leg to place it comfortably on the desk, caging himself between your legs. The sight makes you clench and grasp onto his hair, bringing him right back into you. 

“Fuck,” he breathes out as he pressed his mouth against you once more, relentlessly starving and savouring the taste of you at the same time. “You taste even better than I imagined.”

You moan, taking fistfuls of his soft, soft hair as he fulfills his sinful promises. You can’t think of any good comeback like you would prefer to do, but this position, while compromising, isn’t anything but ideal at this moment. The worlds have coiled in your throat, coming out as broken sobs, and you have effectively gone crazy for Hyunjin.

“So pretty,” he compliments, eyes drinking in your core before softening as they glance up at you. He slides a lone finger inside of you, and you immediately tighten around it, making him chuckle. “You like that? Like my mouth on your cunt? Like how I’m fucking you like this, so slow yet not enough?”

You just whimper in answer, but Hyunjin remains unbothered by your lack of coherent response. “You taste fucking heavenly, by the way.”

And then he pulls his hand away harshly, leaving a stinging slap directly on your aching pussy, immediately rubbing your clit after to lessen the harshness of it. 

“Oh my God—”

He hooks two of fingers inside of you this time, thrusting in and walking the tips of them along your g-spot, making your head go hazy with pleasure. Your breathing hitches as a pressure starts to build in your lower stomach, your walls shamelessly sucking at Hyunjin’s fingers. 

“Mm, you’re going to drench me, aren’t you? You talk up a big storm, but you’re dripping down my hand already.”

Hyunjin’s talk is almost as dangerous as his touch, and he knows it, with how he grins knowingly at you while he so sweetly puts you in your place. He attaches his mouth to your clit, sucks deftly, and moves his entire arm against that one beautiful place, making your legs give out beneath you. 

“Hyunjin, please,” you sob, amazed with how you were even able to form that sorry excuse for a sentence. “I need—”

“Need what?” Hyunjin mocks you, knowing exactly what you want, but he takes his time, playing with you and drawing out this sublime form of torture on your body. “Can’t wait for me to fill you up, yes? So greedy.”

Fuck, you love the way he talks. Measured and polite when fully clothed, but uninhibited and dirty behind closed doors. Your spine straightens as he starts to pump you so hard that you begin to see stars, or maybe just the lights from the buildings outside. You can’t be sure. You begin to arch your back, trying to lessen the intensity of his movements, but he wraps his arm around your hips to hold you down.

He flicks your clit mercilessly, his tongue winding you close to your climax. You mewl his name softly, rolling your hips up towards his face and on his fingers, clenching impossibly tight around him, but he only responds by fucking you harder. Faster. 

You can feel your orgasm approaching in addition to his heightened attention in your blissful facial expressions, watching the way your brows turn up in the middle. 

“Close, aren’t you?” He murmurs against your clit, and you concentrate on his voice, the sole thing you can comprehend past the obliterating pleasure you’re suspended in. You swear he smiles, before he pulls away from you. 

You cry out pathetically at the loss of contact, feeling that tsunami of ecstasy fail to crest and eventually fade back into the shallows, leaving just an unbearable ripple of disturbance behind. You can feel the tears form in your eyes at your interrupted orgasm that was so cruelly taken from you, and you narrow your gaze at Hyunjin. 

“And you’re such a brat, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” Hyunjin responds cheekily, tracing his middle finger slightly against your folds, and you have to grind your teeth to keep from shuddering. “I want you to come on my cock instead.”

You’ve had enough of his games. This is something that you started, and you completely intend to finish it, even if it means not playing by Hyunjin’s twisted rules and making your own board. You dig your nails into Hyunjin’s shoulders, feeling him wince under your touch, and push him back roughly. He collapses onto the couch, looking up at you in wide-eyed surprise. 

“Did you have fun, Hyunjin? I hope you did.” It’s your turn to smirk down at him, all of the explicit thoughts of what you would love to do to him running through your head. “Because we’re going to be doing things my way now.”

Before he can even muster up a retort, you are already straddling him, shifting back to unzip his trousers and shove them down his legs, while he just obediently lifts up his hips to help. All in one go, you get both his pants and boxers off, freeing his length. And he really is so pretty— all of him, down to his cock that’s perfectly hardened for you to use. 

Hyunjin shivers as you experimentally palm his cock, testing how sensitive he is, and you’re pleased with what you discover. “What are you going to do to me?” 

“What do you want me to do to you?” You question him right back, pretending to actually listen to him. Hyunjin takes the bait, relief and desire evident in his features.

“I want you to fuck me with that sweet little pussy,” he responds, the urgency filling his throat making you smile.

“I see.” 

You shrug nonchalantly, gripping him and enjoying the way he gets even harder in your hands. Slowly, you begin to pump him, spitting into your palm and spreading it down his length for better friction. It works, with the way he curses under his breath and looks at you pleadingly. 

“Darling, stop… stop doing that,” he pleads, eyes involuntarily rolling back as you lean forward, pressing your tits together and sliding his dick between them teasingly. 

You cock your head to the side and let your hair fall slightly over your eyes, smiling innocently at him. “Stop doing what, baby?”

“Stop fucking teasing me!” He gasps out, watching you lift yourself just barely onto his cock, holding him at the base and rubbing his tip between your slick folds. Both of you let out soft sighs at the sensation of him nudging your entrance, but you still don’t relent. 

“I don’t know… I kinda like the position we’re in. Think I could get myself off just watching you like this,” you say, lightly circling your hips as you grind your clit on his cock. “Be patient.”

“I’ve been patient for months,” he whines— in any other situation, you’d laugh at how adorable he is if you weren’t so damn turned on right now. He places his arms around your waist, squeezing lightly. “I have to have you.”

You take Hyunjin’s hands and bring them up to rest over your breasts, keeping eye contact with him. As if a trying to placate you by seduction, he traces his fingers over your nipples, sending a jolt through your body; he need not know that you have been wrapped around his finger ever since he pushed you against that desk, and that you’re this close to surrendering to his pleas. You need him.

“Say ‘please’,” you giggle, your cocky façade cracking. After all, you’re endlessly weak for him. 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, but obliges you anyway. “Please, fuck me.”

You want to have one last word with his attitude, but then his palm cracks hard against your thigh, and your legs give up. Your hips sink fully down onto his lap, and you both cry out at the feeling of being sated in the best possible way. Hyunjin is so deep inside you that you feel like you can barely breathe; yet, your chest rises and falls rapidly, as Hyunjin anchors his hands on your ass, assisting you in riding him.

Hyunjin tilts his head back, the veins along the graceful arch of his neck prominent as your walls pulse around him. Meanwhile, you’re practically shaking at how full he makes you feel, pressed up so deliciously inside of you. You’ll lose your mind if it means you can’t have him like this in every moment for the rest of your life, but it’s an unfortunate truth you’ll have to confront later. For now, you know he’s going to make an absolute mess of you.

“There we go, sweetheart. Use me, take all of what you want from me.” Hyunjin just whispers, guiding the roll of your hips while staring up at you in a way you can’t believe is reserved just for you. Enamored, raptured, and completely captivated. It’s so similar to the way you know you always look at him, that you nearly want to cry at the sight.

You’re breathless, gazing down at the man you love through hazy eyes. Hyunjin always looks beautiful no matter what, but right now, he’s simply breathtaking, with how his hair is so artfully mussed, and how his cheeks are tinged with the blush of pleasure. He’s especially exquisite, knowing that he’s like this just for you.

“F-feel so good, Hyunjin,” you manage, both of you fucking each other at this point— you bouncing on top of him while he fucks into from below with equal energy.

Hyunjin smirks, control coming back to him as you give it up. He licks the pad of his thumb and reaches between you both to rub slow, firm circles on your clit. “Fuck, are you going to come already?” 

In spite of yourself, you shoot him a look that isn’t nearly as sharp as you intended it to be. “You already got me halfway there.”

“Definitely more than halfway— eighty-percent’s more accurate,” Hyunjin responds with haphazardly feigned indignance, before shaking his head and kissing you. He bows his head down to encase your nipple with his lips, gently sucking at the bud while his hand trails over across your chest to grasp and squeeze at your other breast, eliciting a strangled moan from you. “It’s that nice, right? I know, baby. Let go for me.”

And you do. Shattering, fierce, red-hot. You can’t handle the way he’s looking at you, touching you, talking to you. Your toes are numb from how harshly they curl, and your fingers sting from how you dragged them down Hyunjin’s back, hopefully leaving marks for him to smile at later.

“Hyun—” You can’t finish even calling out his name, the attempt fading into something nonsensical. Your eyes water from the intensity of your climax, before nestling into his neck.

But he pulls away to look you in the eye when you come, whimpering hopelessly. “That’s it, let go for me, darling.”

Your vision blurs as your orgasm finally crashes into you, overwhelming and so earth-shatteringly beautiful. Hyunjin’s voice soothes you as he guides you through your high, whispering hushed praises against your skin and doing dangerous things to your heart. A wave of unmatchable euphoria washes over you, but it never passes, like his body is an expert in prolonging the pleasure so intricately. You cannot believe that Hyunjin is real, with the way each time he thrusts into you tips you closer and closer into a never-ending free fall into absolute ecstasy. 

With a soft, drawn out sigh, you finally come, and Hyunjin swears under his breath as you clench around him, your pussy gripping his cock so hard that it almost draws the climax from his body. You find a single ounce of strength in the aftermath, wrapping your arm around Hyunjin’s neck and turning his chin to make him look at you.

“I need you to come for me, Hyunjin,” you say, lips quivering against his.

He groans into your mouth, kissing you deeply. “Where, baby? Tell me where.”

“Inside of me.”

Hyunjin throws his head back, moaning desperately before capturing your mouth in a messy kiss. When he breaks away, a string of saliva connects your lips, and it feels so treacherously erotic. Hyunjin comes while calling your name over and over again, pressing your ass down on his lap as his thrusts become shallower, and more erratic. He rolls his hips a final time, pumping his come as deep as he can into you. And then he slumps against you, panting heavily as he gently lays you back down on the couch to fit you comfortably under the crook of his arm.

You hold each other just like that for a long time, hands clasped together while simply existing in the universe that feels like it is all your own. Hyunjin sighs, kissing you deeply in a way that makes your heart flip. He then pulls back to look down and inspect you, both concern and care written deep in his expression. 

“Are you okay, darling? Was that too much?”

You give him a fucked-out grin, cupping his beautiful face with your palms and reveling in how warm his skin is. “No. That was perfect. You are perfect.”

“I… I’m glad.” Hyunjin blushes and looks away like he’s suddenly tongue-tied, as if he wasn’t moaning the dirtiest things into your mouth just minutes earlier. “I don’t even have the words to describe how I feel about you. You’re… everything, and I won’t ever be able to convey that to you completely.”

Something tells you that he isn’t lying, that he means every word, that this isn’t just some kind of lust-filled one-night stand that’ll merit those awkward, unwanted conversations in the future. Maybe it’s the earnesty in his voice, the pure devotion in his eyes, or maybe, you’ll allow this for yourself, just once. You’ll let yourself be happy, let yourself fall and be caught in his arms. 

“I feel the same way,” you say, feeling the tears of something bittersweet form. “You’re gorgeous, Hyunjin. You know that? I just need you to know that.”

Hyunjin wipes the fresh dampness on your cheeks away with his lips, placing a kiss on your forehead when he’s finished. “We have so much time for you to tell me. We’ll talk tomorrow, baby, I promise. Just rest, for now.”

You sniffle, swiping the backs of your hands over your eyes. “I just wish I was completely sober for our first kiss. I remember it perfectly, but it just had to happen when I was a drunk mess.”

He shakes his head, blinking at you like you make no sense to him. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

“Hyunjin,” you start, heart aching and wistful for his thoughts. It seems like you would want to know everything going on in his mind, but perhaps, the challenge of not knowing and being vulnerable to the mystery, that’s what makes it truly so special.

“I wouldn’t change our first kiss for anything. You were so cute, I should have taken a picture.” Hyunjin smiles down at you fondly, tapping the tip of your nose with his finger. “But if you really want, we can say our first kiss was today.”

You give him a doubtful but adoring look. “That wouldn’t be real.”

Hyunjin shrugs carelessly, nothing but adoration in his tone. “No one has to know except for us. Our lives. Our rules. Our secret. Don’t you trust me?”

Our. You can’t help but feel giddy at that word, the very one that joins you two in the harmony that you’ve yearned for so long. 

“Always.”

Long after the sun has dipped far below the horizon, after every other SeoulSpark employee has gone home for the day, you and Hyunjin lie together on his sofa in a tangle of sated exhaustion. The many hours of finally acting on long pent-up desires have rightfully ended with you drawn close against his chest as you both silently gaze out at the twinkling cityscape. 

For the years that he has been settled in this office, Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel a strange twinge of sadness whenever he looked out at the stretch of towering skyscrapers. After all, he spent all of his time helping others find love, but there he was, left with a great view that he would never be able to share. He told himself that he didn’t mind it, not when his dreams lay solely in working. He would be happy to be the one to bring love to others, if it was never meant to be his. And he repeated it to himself everyday like it was just another mundane step in his cherished daily routine, until he truly started to believe it. 

But how could any of that be true, when he can feel your heartbeat against his own? When the scent of your gardenia shampoo has so gracefully invaded all of his senses? When the moon so delicately traces every single one of your curves, bathing your smooth skin in a silver glow? How could he ever be meant to be alone, when the void in both his heart and arms have finally been filled?

It’s too soon to tell, and it scares the hell out of him to even think about it. But when you look up at him with those starry, radiant eyes, it all seems so worth it, so justified. You are simply the aurora to his night sky— you light him up beyond his own flimsy understanding. Therein lay the words that haven’t strayed from the tip of his tongue ever since he laid his eyes on you. The words he so fervently spelled earlier into your core, joining them with your essence. The words he’ll bite back for as long as he can because he doesn’t want you to leave.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»

AUTHOR'S NOTE (& IMPORTANT WRITING UPDATE) Announcement: Jisungsdaydreamer™ has risen from the dead after, like, four months. I apologize, once again, for the terrible wait time. This was my longest gap in posting yet, because it took a while for me to make the adjustment to college. I'm trying to get back to regularly writing, but even when I don't respond/post on here for a while, I just want you to know that I'm still here, and I see you, and I appreciate you! Anyway, I hope you liked the turning point this chapter was (i.e. THEY FINALLY CONFESSED!!!). Cue the fireworks and doves and wedding music!! Also, I just want to mention Yeonjun being a UCLA student- he is sooo Los Angeles coded, and I could totally see him being one of the most popular students at a school like UCLA. And did anyone get my Jane the Virgin reference (hint: it has to do with the grilled cheese recipe)? I used to be obsessed with that show and I have re-watched to the point that I remember almost all of the dialogue... Another thing- for Hyunjin's outfit at the reunion party, I totally was going for what Jungkook was wearing in the 3D music video. I would actually die if Hyunjin dressed up like that IRL. If you know, you know! You can expect the next chapter to come in mid-to-late December, right after my finals (pray for me) finish. Right now, I anticipate finishing Anti-Romantic by the New Year, so I can move onto finishing my other WIPs. Ideally, I'd like to also make a dent on Love Playlist before 2023 is up, but I'm getting ahead of myself! Here's to Dr. Hwang and designer obsessions and being on that sigma grindset. For the next two weeks, I'll be crying over my textbooks in the library while blasting Rock-Star in my headphones. Here's to getting through what I believe is the worst time of year for students! Stay strong and 樂 on 🎸💫 -Dreamy

TAGLIST @skzfelixlove @army-stay-noel, @hwangjuhong, @chizumiyoshi @hyunjinswifeee @geneziesm @sherryblossom @yeetfellx @bennetbutton @chillseo @hyuneyeon @seosalad @nhyunn @hyunjinnie2000 @ajxreads @n2tl4na @yeahhspider @8makes1scream @jetblackbelle @143hyunes @raginghellfire @sinforsuccubus @lixiesw1fe @chartrucewhore @freckleboilix @ultimatestayandminoronce @cheesytangerine @leyknowsbin @stay278 @strawberry-dreamland @lvrgrl-xo @moasworld @hyunnielix @httphans @chaotic-world-of-the-j @nyasstars @beautifulmusicaddict-blog @imasimplol @1clickawayfrominsane @xsw-void @queen-klarissa @hyunjinsamdl @heavenhannie @moasworld @kykeu @sxlxna @writingkills @boomfrogg @tyongyuta @levislifeline @hyunzerolv @starlost-andfound @browniebearr @hanniemylovelyquokka @ardef38 @loveemmy08 @anyhow-everything @liillii @sweetpickledjins @insertsomethingaboutanimehere @kylielovesu @moon0fthenight

***The users that I could not tag are written in pink***

If you'd like to join the taglist, click here!

NETWORK TAG @k-films

©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kflixnet #k-labels #straykidsland #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #neverendingdreams #hyunjin x y/n #anti-romantic #stray kids fic #skz fic #hyunjin fic #stray kids #skz #kpop imagines #skz au #kpop fic #stray kids au #k-films

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Headaches

Geralt is no stranger to headaches. He gets them when he's dehydrated, gone without eating or sleeping for too long, or when Jaskier won't stop talking. He usually just drinks some willow bark tea, or takes one of Yennefer's potions and rides it out. He doesn't really get them often, not like Jaskier does.

Jaskier gets the usual types that humans get. As a bard, he is familiar with hangover headaches. They don't really last that long, surprisingly. After a few hours, the hangover is gone, and Jaskier is ready to inflict another on himself with another round of drinking while entertaining the crowds.

He also gets the I-stayed-up-too-late-working-on-a-song headache.

Geralt is surprised that Jaskier doesn't get those types of headaches more often. Many a time, Geralt had woken up to find Jaskier still awake, well past midnight, frantically scribbling away by candlelight.

"Only work on my songs during the day light hours? Perposterous! When the muses speak, I must listen!"

"Wait until morning?! But the idea is already there in my head!"

"Make a note? Make a f***ing note?"

"Do you even know how inspiration works?"

He's always a real b**tard in the morning after these late nights.

Jaskier whines as they travel, about how his head hurts, and about his eyes hurting, rubbing at them and squinting. He eventually stops complaining, and returns to his cheery self, going back to annoying Geralt for fun by making up silly songs to go with the situation.

Geralt mostly ignores the complaining and the whining. He's used to it by now. He can tell when something is really hurting his bard. It's all in how he complains.

"You okay, Jaskier?" Geralt asked as he watched Jaskier from the other side of the campfire. The bard had been quietly working out a tune, making notes and adjusting lyrics, pausing often to blink his eyes or rub them.

"Yeah, Geralt. My head just...hurts, and my eyes too."

No overly dramatic whining. Uh-oh... Geralt saw how the bard's eyebrows pinched together and he closed his eyes for a second.

"I'll make you some willow bark tea."

Jaskier had nodded and put his notebook away. He'd finished the tea and turned in. He seemed better in the morning and was back to his chatty self.

Hmm...

As the year went by, Geralt noticed Jaskier was getting those random headaches more often, and his eyes kept feeling tired. Geralt said nothing, merely kept an eye on him. Jaskier was squinting more when he worked on his music, and especially when he was copying lyrics and notes from loose pages to his notebook.

He would pause and hold up his page, staring intently at it, sometimes holding it at a distance. Then he would grumble and go back to scribbling.

Jaskier tried to ignore the f***ing sharp pain in his temples that he would get after only a few minutes of working. He tried sitting closer to the fire or use a few extra candles at night. He tried working on his compositions during the day, in the sunlight. His eyes just sometimes refused to focus on the letters, but he didn't seem to have a problem seeing.

He didn't notice that he was slowly having to hold small things farther and farther away from his face. When he did notice, it was right in the middle of patching Geralt up after a contract. It had been quite inconvenient when he'd had to ask Geralt to thread the needle for him first. He'd blamed it on the adrenaline and his shaking hands.

The headaches became an almost daily thing, and Geralt was starting to worry. Adjusting Jaskier's neck didn't help, and Geralt didn't know what else to do. He was getting to the point where he was about to suggest Jaskier see a Healer.

He watched Jaskier trying to write a letter to Yennefer one evening as they rested at an inn. Jaskier wrote her often as he and Geralt traveled the Path, keeping her abreast of their adventures, and indirectly telling her how much he missed her by complaining about Geralt and what an inconsiderate c*ckwomble he was, dragging him all over the Continent, etc.

Jaskier leaned away from the table, head craned back a little, and doing The Eyebrow Thing while he tried to stay close enough to write comfortably. After a few monents, he heaved a quiet sigh and closed his eyes, wincing.

Something in Geralt's brain clicked. Ah, that could be the problem! He pulled out the supply list he'd made earlier and handed it to Jaskier, rumbling casually, "Here's what we need from the market. Is there anything else you want to add to it before I go tomorrow?"

Jaskier held the list out at almost arm's length to examine it.

He did The Eyebrow Thing.

"You can't see it clearly, can you?"

"Of course I can f***ing see it! I just can't tell if that's and 'a' or an 'e'. Your handwriting is sh*t!" *holds paper a little farther away and squints*

Geralt: *takes paper and runs to the opposite side of the room with it* "Can you see it now?"

"You're such an a**hole!"

"And you're having trouble with your eyes, Jask. That's why you're getting so many headaches."

"It's just the late nights and early mornings! My eyes are a little strained!"

"Then what's the list say?" Geralt held the paper up at a normal reading distance. Jaskier glared at him, tried to force his eyes to focus on the writing, then answered sarcastically, "It doesn't say anathin. Paper can't talk, Geralt."

"Don't be a smarta**."

"Fine, ya b**tart! Ah can't f***ing read it that close!" he snapped, Northern accent getting heavier.

Jaskier's tone went from annoyed to anxious, "Geralt...do, do ye think am going blind...?" Geralt was quiet as he thought about that possibility.

He knew there were instances when healthy humans just lost their eyesight to some weird human disease. He tipped Jaskier's head back and looked closely at his eyes. He didn't see any cloudiness, or odd coloring. But that didn't mean it wasn't there. It could just be in the early stages.

Jaskier gripped Geralt's arms abruptly, fear lacing his voice, "Geralt, what if it's what happened to that man at the harvest festival last year?"

Geralt felt a little icecicle of dread slide into his heart. Last year, a young man complaining of a headache had dropped dead in the middle of the harvest festival.

It probably wasn't the same thing, but the tiny seed of doubt had been planted, and Geralt did not want to take the risk.

"Let's go see Yen. She'll take a look at you and find out what's wrong." Geralt contacted Yennefer that night, and arranged for her to meet them on the road.

They found each other on the road outside of White Bridge. Yennefer had rushed, rushed to meet them, and she made sure they both knew it. Geralt saw right past the front she was putting up. She was worried about their bard. She had jumped off her horse and swept up to Jaskier, demanding to know what dumba**ery he'd gotten himself into.

Jaskier had stood there looking like he was considering taking his chances going blind or dropping dead from whatever mysterious disease he was suffering from. A few moments later, after Yennefer had intensely examined his eyes and his head, she was yelling at him for scaring making her waste her time.

Then they were arguing back and forth, insulting each other and carrying on while Yennefer fixed the very minor problem.

"Absurd, absolutely absurd, making me leave my very important work because your dumb a** panics over f***ing age related vision changes!"

"Age related-!"

"You're 40, you kn*b! You're starting to feel your age. Here, hold this! *hands him his open notebook*

*gasps dramatically, goes Northern* "Feel my age-! How dare ya, ya hag! Implying that am old! Remind me again who's over 70--what the h*ll am Ah supposed tae be doing with this?"

"Just hold it right here-!"

Jaskier: *starts moving book away*

Yennefer: *slaps him on the head* "I said right here! Melitele, can't you follow simple directions?"

"But Ah can't read it! It's all blurry-!

Yennefer :*lays her hand on his head and does magic* "Can you see it clearly now?"

"Oh, f**k! Wow, Ah can! And it's so clear! It says...it says, 'F**k you, you mediocre tw*t. P.S. Your eyeliner looks like sh*t, and that shirt is ugly!'" *affronted screeching*

Geralt watched them fuss and cuss at each other while Yennefer made a few adustments to Jaskier's eyesight. They were still quarreling when they set off, escorting Yennefer back to Aretuza.

Geralt sighed. He felt a headache coming on.

#the witcher #the witcher headcanon #the witcher netflix #twn #geralt #geralt of rivia #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #geraskifer #geraskefer #yenskier #yennskier #yennaskier #yenneskier #headache headcanon

[uppoompat]

queer black woman in need of mutual aid

hi friends! i've never posted my mutual aid requests on here before... i guess because i felt like i've curated a very specific fangirl image on here and needing financial help doesn't fit that idk?? but im in a pretty dire situation at this point and this is where i have the biggest following (even if half the accounts are bots or inactive)

about 2 months back my budget was knocked completely out when i had no choice but to pay off some debt i'd been putting off and i've been struggling immensely to get back on track since then. every time i get paid, my check is basically 50%-75% gone by the end of the weekend after paying my rent & trying to catch up on bills. and i spend the next week and a half scrounging by. i haven't done proper grocery shopping in weeks. i work full time and also doordash after work some nights and on weekends but no matter what i do i just can't catch up. something else always comes.

i'm used to living somewhat paycheck to paycheck but i've never been this behind on bills before and the anxiety of it all is impacting me physically in the form of near daily stress headaches. so im asking for help. in an ideal world i would pay down my electric (~$150USD) and my car payment (~$300USD) and maybe get myself some groceries to get through until next friday but literally anything would help at this point.

i have almost all the things:

paypal: @/alexajaaay

venmo & cashapp: aljaaay/$aljaaay

i know times are tough for everyone and the world is shit rn so even if you could just reblog it'd mean a lot to me! thank you & i'm sorry for flooding your dashes with this.

#idk what to tag this bc apparently tumblr suppresses tags related to mutual aid #so im guess on counting on reblogs and word of mouth #thanks in advance guys #alexa rambles

[accidentalslayer]

Hi can you do headcanons about yandere elijah mikaelson x fem human reader

AAAAAAAA!!! I'm so excited for this ask!! It's my very first HC request & I'm a little 😬 but I hope my particular brand of Yandere!Elijah is entertaining. Tbh, this'll help me brainstorm ideas for future Dawn Misplaced chapters...

[Yandere!Elijah Headcanons]

⚜️ It was obsession at first defiance for him. Elijah Mikaelson, in his many years of being unchecked, has become accustomed to the word "yes" coming from human lips. Yes, sir. Yes, Mr. Mikaelson. Or "Yes, Daddy" to those girls he finds pleasing. But you said "no". You said "no" after all the trouble and headaches he endured in brokering a "fair deal" for your current predicament; being the sole inheritor of Father Kieran's seat in The Faction. Elijah was trying to spare you this precarious spot. It infuriates him that you won't give into his reasoning. He's just trying to protect you...

⚜️ Elijah Mikaelson is observant. He's kept a rather exhaustive record of his thoughts and feelings all throughout his cursed ordeal of being an "Original". But moreover, being the eldest brother to a family of siblings who do not listen. One night, while he's penning an entry in his records, his mind begins to drift. His hand moves with a will of it's own. Only after Elijah has gone through several pages does he realize that he's been writing about you. He's repulsed. How could you, the one snag in his carefully woven system, have snuck so imperceptibly into his mind?! He writes four more pages about you. Seemingly against his own will. Then, pours himself a scotch to quell a hunger that's starting to grow within him.

⚜️ Since you've decided to defy him and act as the human representative in The Faction, Elijah Mikaelson has decided to give you hell in the form of micromanaging your time. He requires emails, updates, documentation, & various forms of excruciating busy work that keeps you in very close proximity to him. His dark eyes always seem to be upon you while you're tending to the mountain of paperwork that he assigns you daily. And Elijah seethes with frustration as you rise to his challenge; completing his sisyphean tasks YOUR way. But still within his set requirements. Elijah is becoming more and more consumed by you with your every willful act. Meanwhile, the pages in his journal grows...

⚜️ Every seated member of The Faction has been thoroughly vetted by Elijah. But you...? He's been digging deep into your past before you inherited Kieran's position. What he's found (using various means of persuasion) has him intrigued, to say the least. You're the adopted offspring of an old, antiquated family that he (and his siblings) cavorted with during the 1700's and held considerable sway over the settlement before their arrival. Elijah knew that. But what has him curious is how little there is to say about you... There's almost no paper trail. Nothing substantial he can find about who you are. Your record, the little bits he can find, is almost too clean. It's a siren song to Elijah who prides himself on being informed. You've become an unsolved mystery that he's determined to crack. Even if he has to utilize extraordinary means to do so. After all, it's for the safety of his family... That's what he's telling himself, at least.

⚜️ To satiate his mounting need for answers and his hunger for you, he's decided to sit & watch your dreams. It's for work, of course!! How can he allow someone with such a void in their history to continue holding power in The Faction?? Much less someone who has evaded his inquiries and defied him in ways that irk him. It doesn't matter that you were handpicked by Kieran. To Elijah, you're a box left unchecked. And unchecked boxes have always been trouble in his experience.

⚜️ Elijah is, at first, annoyed to find that you're just as much a night creature as he is. An insomniac who stays up way too late reading, writing, documenting & researching as voraciously as he does. That makes his dream invasion plans hard at first. But Elijah is a patient man. And so, he waits. Poised in the shadows. Perched at your windowsill. Even standing in your room after he devised his invitation into your living space. And soon enough, the cracks in your defenses begin to show themselves. He takes full advantage of one night where exhaustion (he ran you into the ground on purpose with busy work) and a night with Cami at Rousseau's expose your mind to his vampiric dreamwalking. What he finds inside your mind seals his iron resolve to have you as HIS. Always and forever. Now, you cannot escape from Elijah even if you tried. And resigning from The Faction is no longer an option he'll extend to you...

You turned down his offer for peace, after all.

---

I shall leave it off at here for now. I hope this gives you plenty of juicy bits to dream with when you think of Yandere!Elijah! And I also hope I'll be asked again for more headcanon stuff or even questions about my WIP. ❤️

Much love to you, anon.

🎃

#yandere elijah mikaelson #yandere mikaelsons #yandere headcanons #the mikaelson family #the mikaelsons #the originals #headcanon #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson x reader #elijah mikaelson headcanons #the mikaelson siblings #headcanons for elijah mikaelson #dawn misplaced #elijah x reader #elijah mikaelson x y/n #elijah mikaelson x fem reader

[thisisntmyrightera]

You're with me | Eddie Munson x fem. reader

summary: Eddie is your bestfriend, you save him always from his daily problems and now Vecna comes for you and it's time to being saved for him.

warning: strong language, use of a strong word for reference of a “gay” meaning, mention of suicide, mention of child traumas.

words: 2,139

------------------------------------------------------------

Walking around the forest for hours was tiring, my feet ached and i felt the sweat on my forehead getting sticky even though the spring wind grew colder as the sun went down, while Nancy and Steve argued about who should come back to take care of the youngest Eddie and i were sitting under the shade of a large tree, in silence while only Robin's footsteps could be heard around us as she walked in circles nervously.

-Hey you shouldn't do this, you can go home I'll be fine - Eddie's eyes looked sad knowing that he had gotten me into trouble, i didn't want to tell him that Jason had looked for me at the music store where i worked to ask about Eddie and threatening to come for me if i were the one hiding him, luckily Gareth was with me and he defended me even when Jason and his thugs beat him up and almost broke his hand, we both promised not to mention it to Eddie if we saw him again but Gareth told the story to Fredd, Fredd told Dustin and Dustin barely managed to run to tell Eddie that i were being harassed by the town idiot.

-I'm fine Eds, if I go home Jason will know where I am and I think I feel better being with you than alone... besides you need me more here than there - i smiled just looking at my hands while i tried to remove the black polish from my nails trying to distract from the headache that had been coming on suddenly for a couple of days and right now was making my temples feel like two drums being hit.

-You're right, you always find a way to save my ass - Eddie's laugh sounded very low but it made my head vibrate in a strange way causing me make grimace of discomfort feeling in my face a strange warm sensation that came from your nose

-Hey...Eddie's girlfriend, well his not girlfriend, you...your nose - Robin froze as she pointed to my nose and then hers making a sign to wipe, Steve and Nancy also turned worried making Nancy quickly search on her pockets for one of the handkerchiefs she always carried in case she needed it.

It was not the first time that it happened to me, in the last two days my nose had bled about 6 times but the school nurse only told me that it was an allergy because of the beginning of spring and she recommended me not to go out so much during the sun. My hand quickly cleaned my nose, staining it with blood, Nancy quickly ran to my side offering a disposable handkerchief while she helped me clean carefully worried

-I'm fine, it's just the pollen or something from spring - i looked at her embarrassed, smiling slightly while i held the handkerchief against my nose

-Hold it down a bit, keep your head back a bit

-Here... you can lean on here- Eddie barely spoke embarrassed taking me by the shoulders making me lie on his chest while i felt how the blood continued to come out of my nose

-Let's be honest, they look damn good together- Robin's innocent laugh made Steve and Nancy look at her confused by the out of place comment while Robin just shrugged her shoulders -what? It's not my fault they're so sweet.

-Robin can you... shut up for a second.- Nancy barely whispered looking for another tissue.

On my back i could feel Eddie's chest rise and he lower, breathing nervously as his hand replaced mine holding the handkerchief.

-Are you sure you are alright? maybe we walked too far in the sun and it hurt you - Eddie's voice seemed clear at first but every word he said receded into the distance until i couldn't hear it anymore and after a long blink everything around me turned dark and cold .

The place was the same, but Eddie was gone and I was leaning against a tree trunk, neither was Nancy, Steve or Robin. Wherever i looked there was fog and darkness and a tickle in one of my hands resting on the grass made me look quickly noticing that some small spiders climbed my fingers, my legs reacted quickly and I got up running aimlessly while shouting the names of my friends but it seemed that my voice was lost a few centimeters from me, while i tripped over some strange branches that came out of the ground and hit the trees Again everything seemed like a bad dream and everything around turned red, things floated through the air, the sky seemed like an electrical storm was approaching and someone was looking at you from afar

- Y/N you have finally arrived

——————————————————————————

Eddie POV

-Are you sure you are alright? maybe we walked too far in the sun and it hurt you... - her hand lowered slowly while I hold her handkerchief, the blood that came out was not much but it was blood and that honestly made me very nervous and dizzy, the wind began to blow strongly, the tops of the trees were hitting each other hard and making strange noises that made us all look up to make sure that no branch fell on us - that was strange...do you feel better?...y/n?...y/n? - my hands just moved her a little but she didn't react, she didn't blink and barely breathed -Y/n? -I sat up a little looking at her and again I had in front of me those empty, white and terrifying eyes like the ones I had seen in Chrissy -No...not you no, you don't y/n wake up please, wake up

- Again? Oh god, go and found Max, Steve go to Max and ask her for his cassette player -Nancy screamed while Steve ran as fast as he could tripping over a branch, she leaned next to y/n while her hand touched her forehead and arm – she’s cold...y/n wake up please

-No please, Nancy do something, she can't leave me, what am I going to do if she dies?

-Relax, Steve will go for Max's player, what is her favorite song?

-What?...That’s necessary?, you do not see how this damn it is

-Hey, we found a way to break that trance, tell us what is her favorite song

-Her…her song ...her favorite song is...KISS...it's...damn I hate that stupid song, it's I Was Made For Lovin' You, she doesn't stop listening to it and she dances and...

- Dustin has a KISS cassette - Robin ran fast tripping over the same branch that Steve had tripped over before while Nancy took my arm and y/n's trying to calm me down

-Everything will be fine, trust us, trust her - I had never looked into Wheeler's eyes but this time they gave me calm and confidence while rubbing my arm slowly, a few seconds, maybe hours for me Steve and Robin came running back while trying remove the cassette and putting the batteries in the player with trembling hands

-Quick damn Jesus H Christ, this is not a game

-I'm doing the best I can Munson stop yelling at me, now put the headphones on, put them on!

-The other song, that’s not the song...another one...that's it, leave that one!

——————————————————————————

Y/N POV

My body ached to be against that stake tied with the disgusting branches of spiders and some sticky liquid, Vecna ​​walked around me while his nails scratched my skin slowly but I wasn't afraid of him, I had played too many times against him and many times I had defeated him, I was a level 24 Sorcerer Princess and no one could defeat me, not even Vecna ​​himself.

-Your fear is almost imperceptible, but it hasn't completely disappeared, right... you're still a scared girl, what is it that still scares you to this day? Or maybe it's not fear, it's a guilt that your heart has not yet been able to accept.

-I have nothing to blame

-No?...then why did mom make that decision? because you forced her to do it- his hand extended offering me to look towards a dry and almost fallen tree where my mother hung from a branch, like the day I found her in the closet of her room, hanging lifeless .

My chest felt tight and my heart was beating as fast as when i was 5 years old and everyone blamed me for making my mother depressed and dependent on pills.

-I was not to blame, I was a child!

-You're still a child, but no one will blame you, or judge you for what you did anymore... you've come with me and all the suffering will go away and you'll be at peace here - his skeletal hand rose to my face when a loud noise it made us both turn to the cloudy red sky...i knew that song

His cold hand made me look at him again while I felt his sharp nails bite into my face forcing me to look into his eyes but honestly, his nails hurt my skin without any pain, my heart was beating but it felt different, I felt alive and my mind began to remember things that for some reason i had repressed.

Like the first time i walked into Hawkins High School, wearing an old KISS shirt that belonged to my brother, and Eddie almost ogled me as he leaned against his locker curiously.

-KISS? I thought no one listened to that group of fagots anymore

-You are very good at recognizing fags by what I see

Eddie looked at me surprised and offended then he looked at Gareth and Fredd annoyed hitting them on the arm for laughing at him, that same day Eddie apologized and invited me to eat with them in the cafeteria and we laugh the whole recess talking about music and how Eddie looks so funny and offended that morning.

When my dad made me buy a dress for my aunt's wedding and Eddie and Gareth came with me to Starcourt to pick out an ugly ruffled pink one and the security kick us out of the mall for forcing Eddie to wear a dress and model it for us.

The day I insisted Eddie teaches me how to drive and almost crashed his Van into Lovers' Lake.

The first time I won Dungeons and Dragons and i was the hero of the entire Hellfire Club while Eddie shouted in the background "That's my princess...that's the...Hellfire princess"

The movie nights at Eddie's place that ended with me cleaning up the Munson trailer and making dinner for Eddie and his Uncle Wayne, who waited for Eddie to go out to take out the trash to always remind me of the same thing, "Eddie's so lucky to have you close, if only he wouldn't be so stupid and stop looking at so many easy women''

Maybe life hadn't been easy, but i had found the right people and they made me happy, in their own way but they loved me and cared for me more than anyone in the world and above all, i had Eddie.

my hands freed themselves with a strange force from the branches and took Vecna ​​by the neck, tearing off part of his disgusting and sticky skin, what was holding me on that stake was released making me fall to the ground and hit hard the floor, in front of me a large circle opened as my favorite song continued to play loud and clear, my legs running strong as rocks and lightning rained down around me but being on the gym team for 2 years had helped me enough to run fast even in the underworld of Vecna ​​and suddenly. ..everything went dark

A blow of air entered my lungs and the sensation of falling into the void made me feel anxious when my body hit a surface that fell below me surrounding me with his arms, my hair covered my face preventing me from seeing what was around me causing me a crisis episode while my legs and arms were moving trying to push away everything that was trying to hold me

-Hey..hey I'm here, you're okay, you're with me- Eddie's murmur in the distance made me open my eyes as Nancy brought her hands to my face moving my hair from my eyes so I could see them while holding the headphones out of my ears

-I'm fine, I'm back... I'm fine - my chest moved quickly pulling clean air while my body recovered in the arms of Eddie who was still holding me below me

-Damn never scare me like that again, you almost scared the shit hell out of me

#eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson smut #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fan fiction #joseph quinn #joseph quinn imagines #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #dustin henderson #gaten matarazzo #max mayfield #saddie sink #joe quinn #stranger things 4 #eddie stranger things #joseph quinn imagine #netflix #eddie munson edit #joe quinn imagine

[marilynthornhilllover]

I promise I'll look for you in a thousand life times.

Olivia crain x Fem!Reader

Warning: fluff, depression, anxiety, headaches, delusional, pills, sleep deprivation, sleep talking, nightmares, fainting, slight argument, sleep talking, pre kidnapping, almost suicide,etc.

A/N: all my THOHH fans tap in please, justice for our liv🥺. Btw this fic is a spoiler for anyone who hasn't watched the show yet, and most of this fic falls around episodes 1,4,6,8,9 and 10.

The crain family was.... different..... they weren't like other families and they knew that too. They weren't the normal family you'd meet on a daily basis. When you started working for the crain family as a babysitter, you heard many stories about the family.

How the claimed to see things. That Olivia was a witch. That the family believed in a whole lot of creepy stuff and even acted weird. That didn't bother you though.... why should it?... no one's normal, absolutely no one, no matter how hard they tried.

So what if the crain family acted a certain way, or maybe they just had special gifts that weren't quite understood by others.... and that's fine.

You met with the family for dinner three years ago, you met Nelly or rather Eleanor, theo or Theodora, Luke, steven and Shirley. They were decent kids. Kind, sweet, caring, funny even.

Something you admired about the kids were their passions. Eleanor tea cup parties, Shirley nature and taking photos, Luke adventuring or protecting Nelly. And then there were theodora and Steven who were always off doing their own things or studying something fascinating.

____

Then there was Olivia crain, Olivia was something else.... her aura was soft. She was pretty and smart and very caring and kind towards you. She loved her kids with everything in her.... her heart clung to them. She even said once that nothing or no one will ever be able to stop her from even dying for them.

The floor boards creaked as you made your way into the kitchen for breakfast. Slowing rubbing your eyes as the sun glazed partially through them from the sunset window above. You turned the corner one eye open, suddenly you bumped into someone. You stopped dead in your tracks and opened your eyes fully to see Mr. Hugh walking away quickly with a cup of coffee in his hands.

" good morning Mr. Hugh-" but before you could completely finish your sentence he was already gone from your sight. It's only then as you stood there you felt how cold the atmosphere setting was... as if someone had died.

You had only caught a glimpse of his face and something deep within told you that something was wrong this morning. You thought nothing of it and looked at everyone in the kitchen having breakfast.... except not happily.

" good morning, my loves" you spoke walking around the table to kiss every child on the forehead. There were mumbled and grumbles said back to you as you made your way into the pantry. You then noticed that you haven't seen Olivia. Which was quite strange since she's usually the first one up to help you a little bit with the kids.

You clicked the kettle and stood with your back against the counter as you waited for your water to get hot. You inspected the kids once again and something gaved you the chills. You sighed as your eyes landed on Nellie who was finding it hard to eat her scrambled eggs since they were very hot. You walked over to her and crouched down on your knees.

You tucked a strand of hair behind her hair and brushed down her fly aways. She smiled at you and you returned it.

" did you sleep well?" You asked her and she nodded chewing on another piece of her food. The real reason why you weren't the one to make the kids breakfast was because you were up the entire night with Nellie. Her nightmares are the worst. She claims she sees this lady that she calls " the bent neck lady" above her every time she opens her eyes at night.

The poor girl was scared completely out of her shadow last night, shaking and shivering in your arms, sobbing even. You sang her a little song and caressed her cheeks and brushed your fingers through her hair until she eventually had the courage to fall asleep and believe that you'd protect her.

You had told her parents above it, Olivia more times than Hugh since she's less busy and has more time to listen, and after all she was Nellie's mother but they both brushed it off as Nellie being at the age where she could handle herself.

Which is true, she was a big girl but she was still even scared of the dark, which is normal for a kid but Nellie was absolutely terrified at night, and that isn't normal. And then you had to sit at Shirley's bedside and hold her hand because she was sleep talking. Ever since the family moved to the hill house they've all been acting strange. Seeing things. Hearing things. Feeling them even. Mostly Olivia. She was the one you'd feared for more. Even more than Nellie.

" but mommy and daddy fought this morning and yelled" your brows quirked as your body stiffened. Hugh and Olivia..... fight?.... yell?.... again not normal. You tried not to make it too obvious to the little girl that you were surprised but instead tried to comfort her.

" Nellie! Don't tell her that!" Theodora shouted and Steven spiked back.

" theo don't talk to her like that! She's been with us longer than the others!" he spoke.

" so?! that doesn't mean she gets to know all of our business" theodora bit back as she stormed out, Steven quickly following behind.

" no but she's seen and heard us more than anyone has!" His voice got lower as they went deeper into the house where you could no longer hear them speak. You paid no mind to her though, she was always the feisty one, which was something you admired.

You stood there silently before Luke and Shirley placed their plates into the sink before walking past you shyly. You looked down at Nellie, searching her eyes for an silent answer.

" daddy wants mommy to go to her sisters house for the weekend because he thinks she's crazy" the little girl whispered before getting up from her seat and hugging you with tears in her eyes. You comforted her the best you could, rubbing her back and whipping her tear stained cheeks.

" it's ok Nel, I'll talk to your mom and dad ok?" She nodded and quickly exited the room, you stood there for a minute trying to process everything before you sighed deeply. You cared for Olivia and her wellbeing, especially for her mental state as of now. Olivia wasn't well. It's as the house was a vampire, sucking and draining every bit of happiness from her, plus the kids not being able to be comfortable in the house bothered her even more.

You noticed Olivia's pills in the kitchen counter cabinet, you walked towards the cabinet and took out the bottles, the one for her headaches, depression and anxiety. You walked back up the stairs and down the hallway into Olivia's and Hugh's bedroom. You weren't allowed in there but you needed to speak to Olivia urgently.

You knocked twice and waited for her to answer but there was complete silence, no approaching footsteps, no body shifting in sign of answering the door, nothing. Dead and spine chilling silence. As if there was no one at all in the room. You decided to twist the knob to see if it was unlocked, after discovering so you pushed the door and entered.

You then saw Olivia standing infront of the window in a beautiful red dress with flower patterns on it, her hair neatly tucked in her curls not a songle one out of place. What she was looking at remained unknown. You stepped further into the room and closed the door behind yourself. You waited for her to acknowledge your presence but it seems as if she never heard you enter at all.

You walked up even closer to her and noticed that her pupils were dilated all the way and there was only a thin line of crystal blue could be seen. Absolutely no sign of life in them.

" Olivia?" You called out her name softly, not wanting to snatch her from whatever mental state she was in too quickly to make it become prolonged. She slowly turned her head into your direction and smiled softly before her head snapped back to the window fast as if she was a cat haunting it's prey.

" do.... do you hear that?" She asked as she took slow steps closer towards the window.

" hear what?" You replied. At this point you were beyond worried for Olivia, she needed help, maybe Hugh's idea wasn't as bad after all.

" the whispers" she spoke up, before you can ask what whispers she shushed you by placing a finger onto your lip, tilting her head to the side as she listened again.

" there it is again.... they're calling Nellie's name..." her facial expression was unreadable, you couldn't tell if she was being serious or if the voices have really gotten the best of her. Tears filled her eyes as she leaned on your shoulder clinging to your shirt tightly with her fists.

" don't let them take her away please!" You held onto her tightly, gently letting both your body's fall to the ground. You brushed the hair away from her face and realized that her eyes were closed. She fainted..... you muttered ' shit ' before you lifted her body off the floor and placed her onto the bed.

Suddenly she gasped loudly as if she had drowned and had now been given CPR. You grabbed the back of her head and quickly sat her up against the head board. She sighed before softly started chuckling. She turned her head towards you and smiled. She raised her hand to your cheek and carefully caressed your skin.

" are you scared? Your pale" she chuckled biting her lip. You playfully touched her arm but you quickly had to pull it back. Olivia was as cold as ice, as if she wasn't alive. You decided to keep quite, she already has enough stress as we speak but she needed to know the truth.

" I think that you should atleast re think Hugh's offer, we only want wants best for you liv" you spoke clearly without a doubt In mind. Olivia's facial expression changed drastically as she looked at you as if she was totally flabbergasted.

" you believe him.... you think I'm crazy? You think that theses pills are what's allowing me to keep my sanity?" Her voice was hoarse and full of hurt.

" no! Of course not Olivia! But I want you to be able to be sane and think for yourself without the pills" she cut across you, stopping your sentence.

" but I am! Don't you believe me?!" She was getting railed up and that's the last thing you wanted to happen because it often doesn't end well.

" I do! But your not well Olivia can't you see?!" She paused, her eyes flickered as a tear rolled down her cheek. Her hand that was rested upon your thigh shook and you both looked down at the same time to look at it and she immediately looked away.

" I only want what's best for you Olivia. So please just for two days, get some fresh air, go to an amusement park or go on a nature walk" you spoke, gently caressing her thigh.

" i won't let them take Nellie away from me, not my baby" she spoke softly, leaning closer towards you.

" no one is gonna hurt them I'm right here, I promise" you whispered back, she kissed your cheek and rested her head on your chest before sighing. You both stayed like that for a while before she spoke up again.

" I wanna wake up... so badly.... why can't I just wake up...." She kept repeating this phrase over and over again and you could see the color draining from her eye. She's going to get a headaches. You quickly grabbed her compression pillow, her eye cover fabric along with her pills. You calmed her body by placing a hand on her abdomen then pushing the pillow behind her neck then placing the fabric over her eyes.

You tapped on her lips and she open her mouth to take in the pills, you brought the glass of water to her lips and held a hand under her mouth as she drank the water. She coughed slightly before turning her head away. You put down the cup and sat back down besides her. Eventually you fell asleep, this sudden tiredness washed over you as you fell into deep slumber.

You awoken in your room that the Crain's had provided for you in the house. There were thuds and loud bangs along with screaming being heard from the upstairs. You rushed up thinking someone may have broken in. Running upstairs that's when the sound of glass breaking and Olivia's screams can be heard.

" olivia!?" You call out as you ran down the hallway, you ran and ran until you felt as if you were out of breath, no matter how much you ran the hallway seemed to become longer. You could hear running footsteps everywhere.

" stop trying to take my babies away from me!" You heard Olivia scream in agony. Who's taking the kids? You tried to follow her voice as best as you could. All you heard and could hear was your thudding footsteps against the hardest of the wood and your racing heart beat.

A hand grabbed you by the waist and forced you to stop, you turned around to see Hugh, he had both Nellie and Luke lifted up in his hands both of them staring at you petrified.

" y/n we have to go now" you looked at him completely confused.

" no time for questions, the other kids are already outside in the car" you shook you head and stepped back. In the car? What about Olivia..... is Hugh the one who's taking her babies away?... before he can grab your hand again you bolted away from him with full speed. You called out Olivia's name but there was no answer, only that dead silent of the time when you entered her room. Remember the dead look in her eyes and ran faster.

You looked everywhere for her before searching upon the balcony. And there she was..... in her night gown about to leap off the edge. You swiftly grabbed her hips right before she could but it was too late.... you both went over. Falling in slow motion graciously. You could feel Olivia's fear, not of dying but leaving her children alone. Leaving Nellie and Luke out in the dark as they said. All your memories in life flashed before your eyes but the only person on your mind was Olivia.

Right before your body could hit ground you pulled her onto you. Your body hit the ground with a loud brutal thud. Your ears began to rang as you heard Olivia call out your name and touch your face, her hands still very cold. She grabbed the back of your head and placed it on her lap as she ran her fingers through your hair sobbing.

You smiled softly up at her, stretching your weak hand up to caress her cheek.

" why are you crying my love?" You asked and she sniffed.

" why didn't you go on without me?"

" how could I? " you asked, and she began to cry more and your eyes fought to stay open. You knew you were dying but you needed five more minutes for your last words. Olivia cradled your body as close as possible to hers.

" I couldn't let you die alone liv" you whispered as you slowly felt all your organs shut down one by one. Her eyes filled with more tears, clinging onto your shirt she whispered no over and over again.

" guess what...." You breathed as you breath began to leave your body.

" what?" She whispered.

" I believed you.... I always did..... you aren't crazy..." You gasped before tightly holding onto her hand.

" no, please, I'm so sorry" she muttered repeatedly as she left kisses all over your face.

Olivia will forever be grateful for your sacrifice and she'll continue to live for you.... because you'll forever live in her. Olivia did wake up.... you woke her up..... she stopped having her headaches. Nellie missed you the most. How you'd stay up with her and help her cope with her nightmares, how you'd swore to protect her.

" dont be, I promise I'll look for you in a thousand life times" and with that sentence you took your last breath. Olivia felt as your hand slowly realased hers as your body relaxed. She cried out loudly tears clouding her vision she tightly hugged your body.

There's nothing more you wanted than to die for Olivia crain. Noting more you wanted than for Olivia crain to not be dead. To not lose herself thinking that everyone thought that she was crazy or needed to see an psychiatrist or mental help. Because all the really needed was someone to listen. Someone to hold her. Be there for her..... she no one was. She gaved comfort but never received it in return.

It's sad that not even Hugh or her kids or Carla never once sat down with Olivia and talked to her like the normal human being she was..... they all thought she was crazy. But never once did they stop to wonder if she was truly ok. To actually listen to her for once. Because behind the dreams that she has, behind the headaches. Olivia was just a human being who wanted to find herself, who just wanted to wake up.

She'd die for her children. While someone else died for her. Olivia was heartbroken as she attended your funeral. Seeing how your mother broke down. She'll forever think about the opportunities you'd miss, her silly joke about pandas not liking macaroni, the family dinners, Shirley's random photos on a Sunday, Nellie silly tea parties, Steven's book speeches, theodoras crazy conspiracy theories, Luke's wild guess as to how trees can re plant themselves in outer space.

Most of all Olivia will miss your eyes, the way they'd lit up when she sang or when you were around the kids, your gigles when she told you a joke or when theodora chased you around the yard for Halloween. Your kisses, your hugs your words of affection and affirmation. She sighed as she pastor continued the eulogy. She looked outside the church and saw you.

You waved and winked.

" I love you" you whispered before flying away. She smiled.

" and I'll forever love you" she whispered back.

Hill house will forever have its history written in black and it's past owners reminded of the lives it took. But we must cherish our memories made because the rest is just confetti. Hill house.... not sane, stands against its hills holding darkness within. It has stood so for a hundred years and will stand so for a hundred more, and thoses who walk there..... walk alone, sorry and thoses who walk there walk together......

A/n: sorry not sorry to all the hearts I broke with this because where are all of the Olivia fics on here?!?!? Not even one🥺and my baby deserves better?!? Tbh if I was in the TV show I'd hold livs hand and jump with her😤. Anyway hope you enjoyed!

#Spotify #fypシ゚viral #fanfic #the haunting of hill house #olivia crain #love #sad #depression #delusional

[dasher85]

Dust...

featuring our Elucidation duo

Alhaitham x reader | y/n | you

short story

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[ after all, it was him who loved you first ]

-------------------------------

Morning sunlight through the opened window lit up the room with a comfortable glow. You sat opposite the wooden desk. Stacks of papers scattered on the varnished surface of wood. The side of your chin rests comfortably on your palm as you frowned annoyingly at the long paragraph of words.

"Difficult?"

A voice suddenly spoke over your head. 

"Bored"

You didn't notice when he entered the study room but apparently he's been there.

"Reading is good to exercise your mind"

He casually spoke before kissing the side of your head.

"But it's philosophy… "

"Do you want me to read it for you?"

"No… Your voice is monotonous."

"Philosophy doesn't have describable emotions-"

You sighed and completely ignored his remarks, too lazy to listen or disagree.

'The theory of knowledge… I remember reading this…' your mind occupied with the paragraph of texts as you turned another page.

"Why aren't you replying to me?"

"Huh? Sorry I wasn't listening"

He sighed, "What do you want to do then if reading is that boring?"

"Tell me about our first date?"

After the catastrophic event while venturing inside the ruins you've gone to a few times, your head hasn't been as it was before. It's not that you've gone crazy but there are some fractions of memory that you can't completely recall. Those existing memories need to be mentioned first before a fragment would slowly form into recognizable memories inside your mind. The medicine you're still taking daily couldn't do much except to prevent headache whenever memories suddenly return. 

"Will you listen to my conditions if I tell you?"

He doesn't really wanna talk about those previous events except if you forced him to even if he thinks it was such happy memories. His reason was simply because it's preferable to create new ones and that would be enough. Plus, he didn't want you to suffer any headache but he never really explain that to you. 

"What kind of husband are you? Even requiring conditions?" You raised a brow. 

A frown appeared on his once relaxed facial expression and you laughed heartlessly at his misery.

You were still laughing at him as he only sighed before leaving you there. He left and you thought he's just annoyed dealing with pointless things such as your attitude but you didn't mind much. After all, you were in a good mood. 

A few hours later after you've read five chapters through the book, it was already an hour before lunch time. You placed a bookmark in between the pages and walked to the kitchen. Now it's cooking time. 

So you went cooking as usual. Thankfully your cooking skills haven't been affected by the accident as much but of course you have a recipe book for a reason. Soon the dish was plated and placed on the table. One for yourself and one for the Mr. 'who knows where?' 

You checked the whole house and it turns out he wasn't home all along but his coat was still hanging on the coat rack. So you decided to randomly open the front door and unexpectedly, he was outside.

Alhaitham brought out a chair just near the house and sat there reading by himself. There was a tree that was covering him from direct sunlight.

You casually walked over towards him, "Hai, it's lunch time..."

He didn't reply and turned to another page, seemingly ignoring you. 

"...I already cooked lunch"

For even once, saying this to someone reminds you of your mother who almost always will call you whenever food is ready. Now it's you who's doing the same thing. It's quite amusing. 

You cheekily smiled before giving him a peck on his left cheeks. You never tell him but you do remember that he'll listen to you whenever you did such a gesture. 

He sighed but eventually stood up and joined you for lunch. Despite that he quietly ate the food without replying to your remarks. As if he's a depressed teenager. 

"Is the butter chicken not delicious?" You sadly spoke but actually just want to drag him into a conversation with you. Should you directly ask him if he was unhappy, he would've said no instead of actually expressing it. 

He finally raised his eyes away from the food to look at you, seemingly revealing a slight frown.

"It's good" He somehow replied in a gentle voice which was unmatched with his facial expression.

"...but you seem upset"

"I wasn't… I've only been thinking about something but I haven't figured out an answer"

"Thinking about what?"

"...about myself" he adds as his features gradually soften.

You nodded although you didn't have the slightest idea about what he was thinking. "I won't disturb your thoughts then if you'd like to think more into it"

"Have I not been good to you?" Unexpectedly he throws you the question. 

You looked at him feeling a little surprised as if he had lost an arm.

"Well… have you not??" As simple as it seems, such a question brings out a heavy atmosphere and you're not able to answer him either. He's been good but in what way because there are certainly some things that you dislike. Moreover, what made him question himself like that? You didn't quite understand that. 

"You said…" he briefly paused as if deliberately thinking about his words. "... I'm not a qualified…"

It was evident that he hesitates to continue his sentence as his calm expression slowly twists into a frown.

'Is he angry? Is he upset with me?' You tried to guess but you still continued to munch the food inside your mouth being calm as ever.

"...husband."

"Husband?"

"Yes, what's your opinion on that?"

"You're actually married?" You laughed after seeing his frown deepen even more than before. You're unsure about his doubts but once in a while you're curious about his reactions when he's actually expressing himself.

"...I'm serious" he helplessly adds.

"So do I" you smiled.

He sighed but eventually resolutely locked his gaze on you, "Alright, I'll answer your question…"

"Yes, I am legally married to you."

"Is that so… but how come I'm unable to remember anything about our first date?" You nonchalantly replied while casually bringing out the topic once more. 

He looked away seemingly frustrated, "I told you these memories are insignificant. It's not worth it"

Truthfully even though it was a beautiful fragment of memory, he cares about the present more than the past. After all, he sees that it's only reasonable to move forward. 

"See… that's why I think our relationship is not worth it" As calm as you were, you can't help but feel a little annoyed.

"That's not what I meant."

"Forget it. Just let me eat my lunch and I'll get back to reading again. I don't want to listen to your complicated reasons either."

You'd initially want to talk more into it and have a proper understanding about his thoughts but he doesn't even want to tell you about simple things. He even labelled it as unworthy… So then, what is there to talk about? 

"Y/n…"

You quietly ate the few spoonfuls of rice and literally left him there afterwards. He couldn't do much but dejectedly sighed without a word. 

Alhaitham went knocking on your study room's door after he finished washing the dishes. 

"Y/n…" he softly calls your name, "...let's go to the bookstore. I heard there's a new release from your favourite author."

"You said I can't go out until a month after my recovery!" You spoke looking angrily before the unopened wooden door. 

"Today's different, I'll accompany you to wherever you want to go" he spoke before the wooden door.

"No. I just want to stay here."

He sighed and decided to twist the door knob but unfortunately it was locked from the inside. Although he'd rather resolve this dispute right now, he didn't want to rush you either.

"Alright, I understand. Call me if you need anything"

He walked to his own study room which was just opposite to yours. In those few hours, he wrote a few reports but he didn't have the desire to continue reading his books. Those books were arranged neatly in a bookshelf, readily available to be picked up by him and yet he just stared at it.

He frowned unhappily, knowing too well what was happening to his emotions. That same feeling when he wants to read but is unable to find the importance of it.

One fictional novel book that he wouldn't be interested in reading was placed on the corner of his desk. A hardcover book with a tassel attached on its spine as a decoration. He often reads that particular book for you but since you never requested it or rather forgot about such a request, the book has been kept there untouched for a whole week.

After returning from the hospital, he didn't permit you to do a lot of things. He restricted you from reading overly emotional novels, specifically the ones that potentially could make you feel sad.

No meeting friends for at least a month that includes going outside. He also insisted that you sleep even before midnight, if not he'll make sure you're in bed on time. He's particularly strict about these things but despite that he'll let you eat whatever food you want as long as you eat three meals a day.

Perhaps it was too much but he's saddened by just seeing you holding your head as you lie on the bed, suffering the pain. At that time, he has just told you about how he proposed to you. The headache starts at a small scale before it increases over the information that he has spoken.

He thought it was a side effect and would gradually reduce by itself but after three days of observing your condition, he concluded that whenever you remember something a painful headache will come after that.

In those 3 days, he'd only told you about his proposal, the wedding day and mentioning about those places he'd bring you to. It was just the basics but thankfully you've been friends with him for years hence saving him from becoming a total stranger.

He then cooked dinner after idling about listening to his headphones. It feels a bit lonely even when he knows he’s not alone at home. Sure, he can do everything on his own but he still wants you to be in the kitchen together with him just like always.

“Y/n… Come on out. I’ve cooked dinner.” He softly called out as he lightly knocked on the wooden door.

“I’ll eat dinner after you go back to your study room. I don’t want to see your frowning face”

“Alright. I’ll knock on the door after I’m done eating”. As simple as that he agreed.

“Good” You mumbled to yourself, still annoyed with the person behind the door.

After a while, he returns knocking on your door without saying much but you only walked out from your study room an hour later. You slowly opened the door just to see him working by his desk inside his own office room because the door was opened. You forgot he never actually closed his office door just like how you usually never did yours but except today was an exception.

“Hmph…” you huffed before quickly going to the kitchen just to take a plate of the dish and bring it back to your study room. He might walk by here and you didn’t want to give him that chance.

Luckily you were able to have a proper dinner at your study room without any disturbance from the other person.

"Y/n, don't sleep too late" A voice spoke after three light knocks were heard from the other side of the door.

"I know."

"Do you have blankets there? I can-"

"I have it here."

"Alright. Do you want me to bring you a warm cup of chocolate drink?"

"No."

"Understood" 

You didn't bother to tell him that you're just going to sleep on the study room's couch tonight. Under such circumstances that you're currently feeling right now, it's reasonable enough. 

After eating dinner and reading another two more chapters you finally decided to get ready for sleep. You bookmarked the page and took the unwashed plate on your study table to wash it at the kitchen sink.

Your mind was focusing on the task but the moment you swung open the door, your view was already blocked by the person who's already standing before you. The emerald crystal glimmers a fraction of light. 

"Why are you standing here?"

His teal eyes stared down at you before he wordlessly took the ceramic plate from your hand and placed it on the chair that was just next to the door.

"You're an hour late for bed" he calmly replied.

"Who says I'm going to bed at your room"

"Our room"

"Is that right? I don't even remember since when did I moved to this house? I've only returned here because I didn't want my parents to worry about my health and I thought it was only rational to be here."

He quietly stood there without a word.

"...but I still think I don't belong here and you're not the person whom you claimed to be. Perhaps it was me who forced you to-"

Alhaitham could already guess your thoughts. He was here only to coax you to bed. He's been seated by the door patiently waiting for you to open it. How come you ever thought of the opposite when he was the one who loved you first. 

"You think too much." He cuts through your words, frustration coating his voice.

You shook your head deliberately disagreeing with him. It hurts just talking with him and you hate the feeling of being in this situation.

"Listen-"

He sighed, completely pausing his sentence when he saw the look on your face. He can already guess that you're definitely about to cry. Those glassy eyes brimming with tears are evident enough.

"Didn't I tell you that I loved you first? Hmm?" He knew you'd definitely cry if he mentioned that you shouldn't be crying.

You quickly wipe away the tears that were suddenly forming before it could slide down your cheeks. 

"I have never lied to you about my feelings." He softly spoke before pulling you into his arms. He only hopes that he wasn't adding anymore salt into the situation. 

"You're just being pretentious." Your voice muffled in between his hold.

"What's pretentious about me?" He whispered.

Despite being in a so-called misunderstanding, he's actually happy that you didn't refuse him either. He's that simple when it comes to things like this. After all, he believes that action speaks louder than words.

"Everything!"

"Hmm…" 

"You're so annoying… Why do I feel like you're enjoying this?" You angrily huffed while stomping one of your feet.

A small smile appeared on his once calm features but you couldn't see that proven guess.

"I'm just glad that you still let me hold you"

After listening to his words, you instantly tried to get away but his arms only tightened around you. It wasn't uncomfortable but it was impossible to escape away from his strong arms.

"Stay… I already gave eleven hours for you to spend it all by yourself. I've waited and now is my chance." He softly whispered while gently stroking the back of your head.

"Why must I stay?! What are you even gonna do?" 

"Taking you with me" he calmly replied.

Alhaitham swiftly positioned his arms and with one motion, he easily lifted your body off the floor. One arm supported your back and the other was supporting your legs.

"Huh?!" Feeling a little surprised, you reflexively grabbed onto his shoulder.

He didn't wait nor did he explain as he already started walking through the hallway, towards upstairs. The unwashed plate was being left on the chair and your study room's door was left open. The oil lamp that was hung by the walls would gradually cast a hazy shadow behind him.

"Why can't you just let me walk?"

"You won't listen to me"

Out of annoyance you deliberately pinched one side of his cheeks. Amazingly enough, he didn't react at all and kept on walking.

"You never listened to me either!"

"When?"

In his defence, he didn't speak out to explain things to you after you've said that you didn't want to listen to his complicated reasons. He didn't accompany you to eat dinner because you told him you'd want to eat on your own in peace. He's always been compliant with your every little request. 

"When, you ask?! I just want to know about our first date and you refused to tell me."

Alhaitham didn't reply to your remarks as he gently placed you down on the bed. He pulled up the blanket to neatly cover you before he joined in with you as well.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?"

He was lying on his side, facing you but perhaps the closeness was the reason why you've realised the almost invisible arc on his lips. He didn't think you would notice it but there's nothing to hide about his feelings either.

In fact, the more you mentioned about it, the more he felt happy. It reminds him of that day, a beautiful day. 

"Nothing much happened on our first date" he softly whispered but that smile on his lips only grew wider.

"We cooked a few dishes and packed it inside a picnic basket. After the picnic we went sightseeing at the waterfall nearby our picnic location and waited for the sunset at the top of a high peak."

"I can't recall it if you're saying it like that. Why are you simplifying it as if I'm a two year old kid? Give me the specifics!"

Unexpected by you, he let out a chuckle seemingly revealing pure enjoyment out of your unsatisfied facial expression.

"You always like to laugh at unfunny things. I told you a joke once and you didn't react at all."

He suddenly raised half of his body, one arm supporting his weight as he brought his face closer towards you.

"What are you doing?" You calmly looked up while unwaveringly meeting his teal gaze.

He didn't respond but the moment he placed his other hand on the side of your head you suddenly realised the intensity of the situation.

A sudden rush of nervousness washed over you but you couldn't move as if paralyzed by the cage made by pure indescribable emotions.

"We returned home and just like this…" Alhaitham slowly inched closer until his lips landed on yours.

An overlapping memory suddenly flooded your mind. The words he spoke, the emotions you have felt before came surging out and you remembered that day. You remembered the way he smiled back as you talked to him about how you loved the colours of his eyes, the gentle kisses he gave you while you were resting your head on his lap. He even helped you pick up the wildflowers that grow on the hill top.

"These flowers aren't meant to be plucked"

"It's you who plucked the whole patch of it"

"You said to me, you'd want a bouquet of it"

"Alright, fine. I'll make sure to take good care of these flowers until they're dry"

You still remember the emotions you felt from those conversations. It was all too vivid. 

In fact so many things happened that day! 

You gradually stopped responding to him as you placed a hand on your head. He pulls away, instantly realizing the impact of his actions. He sighed, feeling frustrated towards himself. 

"I'll get your medicine"

The intensity of headache slowly increases to the point where your vision becomes blurry. You'd rather just pass out because it was unbearable.

After the medicine takes effect, the headache slowly subsides but your energy has also reduced.

He gently cleared away the strands of hair on the sides of your face.

"Y/n… I'm sorry." He whispered worriedly.

You suddenly smiled. 

"...but I really loved the version of my own memory. It's really beautiful… unlike yours" you slowly spoke with your eyes closed. You were comfortably lying on your back facing the ceiling. 

He smiled and positioned himself right next to you. His forehead was touching the side of your shoulder and one arm securely wrapped around your waist. 

"You don't need to remember everything… I'll recreate all those joyous memories for you to experience it again. Wouldn't that be better?"

------------------------

A/N: I wasn’t satisfied with part two, hence a proper one hopefully. This is the last part

#alhaitham #genshin impact alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons

[star1117-archives]

angel yn/demon!san smut genre + san (obviously hihihi) + selfish desire!

𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞

➵ Pairing : San x Fem!Reader

➵ Genre : Smut, Fantasy Au

➵ W.C : 2834

➵ Warnings : Multiple references to religious topics, Angel!Reader, Demon!San, Corruption, Virgin!Reader, Heavy mentions of sin, Insinuated sinful event, Corruption kink, Groping, Restraining, Physical depiction of corruption, Messy sex, Marking.

➵ A/N : Under 15’s DNI. This fic has a lot of references to God and reader questioning what is true evil and other sensitive topics. Please DNI if that will make you uncomfortable. Not a fan of this one, sorry…

© 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝟏𝟏𝟏𝟕-𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost or use my work in any way, shape or form.

San was a headache. A handsome one, but nevertheless a headache.

He never did anything to your assignment, to be fair to him. His mere presence however always brought chaos with it, inevitably messing up every single opportunity you had to set your human on the right path. She was one of your hardest yet, a good person at heart but easily influenced by her surroundings. And San distracting you with petty disagreements was definitely not helpful.

You sighed as you sat atop a nearby building, watching with little interest as your human went about her daily life. This was much more preferred to any excitement however, a boring day was a good day. This good day would soon take a turn for the worst however, more than you could have ever anticipated. You knew trouble was brewing however when you smelt the (sadly) familiar scent of sulphur.

“Just when I thought I’d get a break from you.”

You heard a scoff from behind you, yet you didn’t bother to turn as you heard footsteps approach you. San didn’t get a single glance from you until he plopped down right next to you, his voice coarse as if he’d just awoken.

“No need to be mean… That’s supposed to be my thing, sweetheart.”

Despite the warm feeling that spread within you at the pet name San had forced upon you since your first encounter, you glared at him harshly.

“Leave, she’s having a good day today. The last thing I need is for you to mess everything up. Again.”

Pouting at you, San rested his head on his hand, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

“You don’t wanna spend time with little old me?”

You couldn’t help the smile that tweaked the corners of your lips slightly, only just noticeable. San internally celebrated, proud he’d gotten a reaction out of you. Not the biggest, but still a reaction. But a second later it was gone, replaced with the ‘neutral frown of discontent’ as San liked to call it.

“No I don’t. Now stop distracting me, little demon.”

San quirked an eyebrow at this, a wicked smirk spreading across his lips.

“Ain’t nothin’ small about me, I can promise you that.”

Your eyes widened and you turned away with an embarrassed cough, jaw clenched in agitation when you heard San’s infectious laugh. His hand fell onto your shoulder and a fire tore through your body from the touch, as if something was very wrong. But also very right.

Think calm thoughts, think peaceful thoughts, think angelic thoughts.

The familiar mantra circled in your head as you closed your eyes, fighting off the sinful thoughts San was stirring up in your mind. It was what a demon’s touch did to an Angel, and if left for too long, he could corrupt you too. San however, had no knowledge of this fact. It was a well-kept secret, all the angels fearful of just what could happen if such information got into the wrong hands. The wrong fiery hands.

Just before the thoughts overwhelmed you, you swatted San’s hand away, standing up on the ledge you’d previously been sitting on and pacing a few steps away. A look of confusion and almost… hurt played across the young demon’s face, and it made something inside you twist with guilt. Why did an evil thing like him have such sad eyes? Such kissable lips? Such a beautiful body?

Crap, he’d gotten into your head again.

Holding your hand up, a small stream of light began to pool in your hand, your expression cold as San also stood up. He backed away with his hands up, not calling upon hellfire despite the imminent threat collecting between your fingertips.

“Leave. Now, you filthy hellspawn.”

San’s brows furrowed at your words, confused by your sudden hostility.

“Y/N I-”

“Leave!”

San quickly jumped out of the way when you shot the ball of light at his feet, the warning shot clearly the first and the last. Although he felt some unknown emotion gnawing at his insides, San simply laughed it off, pointing to the street below. You let out a gasp and dashed across the ledge when you saw your assignment down a back alley, tainting her aura once again. The already dim light was now hardly visible, her sins nearly outweighing her good deeds. You could hardly hear San as he called after you, his tone mocking.

“It seems you have more important business to deal with anyways, featherbrain. Have fun trying to save that human of yours, she’ll be damned by the end of the day at this rate.”

And with that, you parted ways. Despite this, it was inevitable the two of you would cross paths again, and the cycle would restart.

“Y/F/N, you are a disgrace.”

Your head hung low as the guardian angel in charge of you berated you, their tone harsh.

“I don’t know what’s going on in your head these days, your assignment was finally on the holy path! It’s like you take two steps forward and five steps back!”

Tears stung the corners of your eyes, lips pursed as you stayed silent. This only angered them however, an audible scoff leaving them.

“And you aren’t even apologising, such insolence.”

You looked up for a second before dropping to your knees, hands clasped together.

“Oh powerful guardian, I have a reason! There’s a de-”

“Enough excuses, save your words for something actually useful.”

Even when they turned away from you, your position didn’t change. The guardian Angel spread their wings, sending you one last glance as they spoke.

“Go watch your human, Y/N. Make sure they’re able to get through the night without a first-class ticket to hell, if that woman is even salvageable at this point. I want a full report in the morning, then I’ll decide what to do with you.”

Standing, you followed suit and spread your own wings.

“As you wish.”

It was the dead of the night, and your human was sleeping peacefully. You sat on the roof of the neighbouring house, perched carefully on the edge as you watched the slow rise and fall of her chest through the window. She had a tiring day, who could blame her for being knocked out cold?

It seemed like the universe was out to get you however, as cold soon became hot. The sweet smell of jasmine became the dreaded smell of fire. Just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse, he appeared once again, waltzing over as if he was king of the world.

“Sweetheart! How are you doing on this fine evening?”

You gave San a hostile glare, fists balled when he sat down once again. This time however, he was considerably further away from you. Well, they may not have morals, but at least demons can take a hint.

“I have to watch her all night because of you and your shi-“

You paused for a second, eyes widened as you cupped a hand to your mouth. Did you.. did you nearly just swear?! San picked up on this too, his eyes widening as he smirked victoriously.

“My my, such a pretty angel shouldn’t have such a filthy mouth..”

You huffed and looked up at the sky, tracing all the constellations in your mind to try and distract yourself from the way your cheeks warmed. At the very least, you had been gifted with a clear sky tonight. Nothing would be hidden.

“San, I am begging you. Please don’t make my job harder than it has to be!”

There was almost a whine in your tone as you gave him an exasperated look, body slumped with exhaustion. The demon pitied you, yet he had his own duties to attend to.

“Wish I could Sweetheart, but y’know the expression. The dead of night is the devil’s playground. I have mischief to make.”

You ruffled your hair before putting your face in your hands, taking a deep breath before pulling away.

“Can you not make mischief anywhere else?! Must you plague me and my human?!”

San shook his head with a small smile, inching closer yet still at a safe distance from you.

“Sorry, you’re just fun to annoy. Plus, your human is asleep. Relax a little, nothing bad’s gonna happen to her.”

When San said this, you gulped quietly to yourself. It wasn’t only your human you were worried for, San had started to get to you too. Just the mere sight of him, sprawled out comfortably in the moonlight, it brought thoughts to your mind. Thoughts that you had fought diligently to suppress earlier on today. The only difference was, San’s touch was no where to be found. You had no excuse to blame it on. Was it even San’s doing to begin with? Or did he simply bring thoughts that were already there to the surface?

“Desire.”

You snapped out of your daze, looking at San with a confused and slightly frightened expression.

“…What?”

“Desire. It’s selfish, it’s sinful, but it’s present within all of us.”

You shook your head at this, brow furrowed.

“I hope you’re not including us angels in this hairbrained theory of yours.”

When San edged closer for the second time, closing the gap between you, your heart began to pound in your chest. It felt wrong, but it felt right. Everything about San felt wrong yet right. Despite this inner turmoil however, you didn’t pull back as you usually would when San leaned closer.

“Why not? Lucifer was an angel. One of the most powerful, most revered.”

His hand came up higher as he spoke, his fingertips toying with the ends of your hair.

“You may deny it now Y/N, but you and I aren’t as different as you pretend to believe. Deep down, you know we’re two sides of the same coin.”

You shook your head meekly at his words, a soft ‘no’ falling from your lips. San was inches from them, but you still hadn’t pulled away.

“All you have to do is give in. Give in to that selfish desire. The heart wants what it wants Sweetheart, and it will always outfox your brain. Y’know why?”

When his breath tickled your ear you shivered, a warmth radiated on your skin that you’d never felt before. San’s lips grazed your lobe as he whispered into it, sending sparks all over your body. Sparks, that could light an uncontrollable fire if left untreated. But it was far too late to consider this.

“Because the brain tricks itself into thinking its delusions are reality. That the truth is what it wants it to be. But let me enlighten you, my sweet angel.”

And with that, San’s lips crashed onto yours. An unbearable pain tore through your body but you didn’t acknowledge it, melting into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around San’s neck. It was as if he’d lit a fire inside your brain, burning away all the lies until all that was left was the truth. San’s truth. You had succumbed to the demon’s kiss, and now he had claimed you. He had succeeded in ripping you from heaven, into his arms. His year-long assignment, finally completed.

He had corrupted an angel. His angel, that he had come to love.

When you pulled back for air, your pupils were fully dilated, a dazed grin on your face as you stared at San with nothing but lust. Your irises had lost their colour, replaced with a blood red as San carefully laid you down against the roof. Now, there was nothing in your head except the overwhelming need to have San. Make him yours.

Selfish desire.

“Take me, San.”

San’s eyes gleamed at your words, and he eagerly began to remove your clothes, not questioning you for one second. Your holy garments, blessed and clean, were now left in tatters on the dirty rooftop as San hovered atop you. He’d slipped his shirt off, his mesmerising chest and torso now on full display. His form-fitting, borderline skimpy, outfit hadn’t left much to the imagination, but fuck he looked better than you’d thought he would. You couldn’t help but run your hands over his broad shoulders, the feeling of his muscles flexing against your hands a heavenly feeling.

San tried to quell his thirst for you as your hands slowly travelled over him, knowing this must all be very new for you. Most likely, you had never seen another’s body, modesty of the upmost importance in that castle in the sky. They didn’t let you live, be free. When your hands fell to the waistband of his pants however, San’s feelings got the better of him. Grabbing you by the wrists, San pinned your arms above your head with one hand as he stripped his lower half too. You watched him with a hungry gaze, mouth drying in anticipation when all of his clothes were finally gone. It was only then San hesitated, his grip loosening as he bit the inside of his cheek before speaking up.

“If we do this, you won’t ever be able to return to heaven. You’ll be going down under, for all eternity.”

You only giggled at his words however, staring at him with a lovestruck smirk. Your hands easily broke free from his loose grip, your hands coming up to cup his face.

“I don’t think heaven’s for me anyways, damnation seems so much more fun.”

San smirked back at you upon hearing your words, leaning down to pepper your face and chest with kisses before lining up with your entrance.

“Trust me, you don’t know the half of it, Sweetheart.”

And then suddenly, he was inside you. Your skin glowed as San began to thrust, a fire now overtaking your body. With each moan, each kiss, each clench, everything heavenly about you slowly disappeared. Your once white wings became blackened and ragged, some of the feathers falling away. A weird sensation made your forehead tingle, as if something had grown there. But all of this completely went over your head, the only thing you were focusing on was San. It was as if he’d set every nerve in your body on fire, and fuck it felt good.

“Shit- San! S’good baby!”

San let out a breathy moan when he heard such a filthy word fall from an angel’s lips. It made pride swell within his chest, his movements only becoming faster. He wanted to hear more, see you writhe with pleasure underneath him.

“Yeah? Feels good? You- fuck- you like it?”

You nodded quickly in response, pulling San closer so you could nip at his neck. He eagerly returned the favour, sucking purple marks onto your soft skin. It wasn’t long before San’s hips began to stutter, his thrusts becoming messy as you curled your legs around his midriff. A coil began to tighten in your stomach, your nails beginning to dig into the skin of his back.

“Sannie.. I f-feel weird..”

San let out a breathy chuckle, his hips speeding up before he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“Just w-wait Angel, I’m nearly there. Hold it, Hm?”

You nodded, clenching as you whimpered with every thrust. He shushed you quietly, the sound soon filtering into small grunts and pants. His face screwed up as he neared his high, so close he could practically hold it. His jaw was clenched and his fists balled. Fuck, here it was.

“Go on.. c-come for me.”

Almost on cue, your eyes rolled back, body quivering as your first orgasm washed over you. It brought a tingling sensation all over your skin, almost as if it had solidified your choice. Mere seconds later you felt the peculiar sensation of San spilling into you, his mouth agape in silent satisfaction as his orgasm rolled over him. Eventually his hips came to a still, and he stayed above you for a second, catching his breath before pulling himself out and falling to your side, tugging you into his chest. He held you quietly, the silence nothing but comforting as you lay entangled together. When San’s breathing returned to its normal rate, he brushed a hair out of your eyes as he smiled at you warmly.

“Y’know.. you might not be an angel anymore, but you’ll always be my angel.”

You chuckled quietly before pressing a kiss to his collarbone, pulling away once again so you could admire him. His sweat made him almost glow in the moonlight, such a hellish being looking ethereal, heavenly. It didn’t make sense that everything was so similar, yet so different. It felt as if your entire existence had been a lie, because how can a man this perfect not be handcrafted by God himself? How could someone with such a sweet smile be evil? What is it to be evil?

“So..What happens now?”

San gave you a halfhearted chuckle, pushing a hair out of your face.

“To put it shortly… eternal damnation, Sweetheart.”

Send me a fake title !!

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#the archives ☾❃☽ #smut {♧} #san {✾} #requests {✓} #DNI {✘} #ateez #ateez smut #san #san smut #choi san

[hawkeyedflame]

wow so i have never counted calories a day in my life because i do not care but i was listening to some doctor expressing her opinion that people who experience relief from autoimmune issues on a carnivore diet are probably just experiencing food monotony-induced calorie restriction (the tendency to eat less over time when you are given the same exact meal every day) because there is a wealth of literature documenting the benefits of fasting and ketogenic diets for autoimmune issues. weirdly enough she didn’t connect that perhaps the mechanism isn’t calorie restriction but the fact that eating very few or no carbohydrates (as with fasting, keto and carnivore diets) forces the body into ketosis, which has very well documented health benefits.

so out of spite i looked up my approximate daily caloric intake based on what i tend to eat in a given day and. my friends.

i eat almost three thousand calories a day. easily more on some days if i feel particularly hungry.

and i LOST WEIGHT. (i was already thin btw) i lost ten pounds in the first month, and then? i gained back a few pounds and all of it was muscle. no exercise whatsoever. passive weight loss, passive muscle gain. calories in calories out is literally not true lmao. anyways.

today is my three month anniversary of carnivore. my joint pain is gone. my dental problems are gone. my chronic fatigue is gone. my acne is gone. my depression is gone. my anxiety is gone. my brain fog is gone. my chronic headaches and constant neck pain are gone. my blood sugar crashes are gone. my adhd is far more manageable than it’s ever been, and gets smaller every day. i am not experiencing the slightest hint of seasonal depression. i fall asleep without difficulty and, more incredibly, i wake up without struggle. i have so much energy that i recently started exercising because i didn’t know what to do with myself.

eliminating carbohydrates from my diet saved my life. i wish i were being dramatic, but now that i know what healthy feels like i can properly recognize how sick and feeble i’ve been for the past ten years. i never want to feel the way i used to feel ever again. i’m alive. i’m actually alive.

#the hawk speaks #long post #carnivore diet #lion diet #trying not to feel outraged that the answer was here all along and i missed more than a third of my life to date #and my entire adult life #to being sick when i didn't have to be #all i can do now is work towards higher highs with the rest of my life and be grateful i figured this out at 27 and not 57

[lino-jagiyaa]

San and sfw prompt 33 🥰

a/n: hi hi! tysm for requesting this! I'm obsessed with bf au San or just him in general at the moment lol. I hope you like what I've come up with!

Prompt: [#33] Standing up for their s/o

genre: fluff, non idol!au, angst, established relationship, office workplace!au | pairing: san x gn!reader | warnings: swearing, toxic coworkers, bullying |words: 857

summary: when you're at work one day and San notices that your coworkers are picking on you, he decides to step in and defend you.

song rec: Mist - Ateez

—

—

Going into work was one of the less pleasant parts of your day to say the least. Your coworkers were loud, obnoxious at times, and just awful to you. On the daily when you would clock in, they would greet you with snarky comments about your outfit choice and hairstyle. Saying these things just to get a reaction out of you. To infuriate you for a reason you had no idea of. . It felt like snotty high school drama and you were getting fed up with it. Being constantly ridiculed even as you were minding your own business.

But only after 20 minutes or so, you noticed a few of the people in the office weren't at their desks. Confused, you looked around, wondering if they just went on break together. Asking the person whose desk was beside yours if he knew but that wasn't the case. They apparently were talking with each other for a bit before leaving together. He then told you there were snacks in the break room and that you should go get some before they're all gone.

Sighing to yourself, you agree and walk over to the room. Stepping in, you hear some hushed giggles get louder. But trying your best, you ignore them. You spot the snacks and head straight for them.

"You should try these ones, y/n. They're really good." one of the guys says.

"Uh.. thanks?" you reply before reaching for one of the pastries.

With your back turned, you feel someone forcefully push you towards the table and you fall face first into the snack box. Shocked and frozen, you just stand there slumped over and everyone in the room starts laughing and making fun of the sight of you like this.

That's when you hear someone else walk in the room and the laughing stops. Dropping whatever they were holding in the process. Confused, you wipe your face and look up to see who it was. The person in question just so happened to be your boyfriend San. You didn't register what he had said to the group until you watched all of their faces drop in horror.

He had said, "What the hell do you guys think you're doing, huh? Do you really think it's okay to treat your coworkers like this? Like we're all still in high school? Picking on each other like you have nothing better to do? They've done nothing to you, nothing to deserve this behavior from you all."

You struggle to balance yourself and stumble upon hearing his words. Attempting to process what he had just said. But he wasn't finished speaking his mind.

"The fact that I took time out of my own day, my own work schedule to come and visit my partner and I get here and see this bullshit. Tsk, you've got to be fucking kidding me right now. You all better be ashamed of yourselves for acting this childish. At work of all places."

"Y/n, you know what, let's go tell your boss about this mess. If he'd even give a shit since it seems like this has been going on for a while now. There's no way in hell he hasn't noticed."

He then picks up the small bouquet of white roses he was holding when he walked in off of the floor and walks over to you and grabs onto your arm to help you out of the room.

You had a giant headache now from being pushed into the table. Face still covered in icing, San walks you back over to your desk to collect your things and help you clean yourself off.

"Thank you, Sannie" you say, almost at a whisper but he still heard you loud and clear.

Him coming to your job to surprise you with flowers was sort of out of the ordinary in your relationship. He was usually very busy with his own job and you'd only see him before and after work, or on a happier occasion an off day for the both of you. San was also somewhat of an introvert especially when it came to strangers but he has an extremely soft side of course.

"Of course, my love. When it comes to you I'll always make sure everyone respects you and appreciates you as much as I do." he says, still wiping the remainder of the pastries off of you.

After talking with your boss and San calling into work to tell his boss that he's not coming back for the day, the two of you leave and make your way back to your shared apartment.

"You know what we should do now that we have the rest of the day off?" He asked

"What about ice cream and a few episodes of that drama we were trying to finish?" you answered

"Sounds perfect."

don't forget to leave a comment and reblog if you enjoyed this short fic! please do not spam like.

feedback is also appreciated and i'd love to hear your thoughts!

#ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez #ateez x reader #ateez san #rin's mailbox ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment day "This is what makes people evil"

So I was in bed by 8:03, I was only up that late because I had to eat something.

And I laid there, thinking calm thoughts, and there was only one loud sound from outside once [around 10 pm], and was was so calm I almost fell asleep so many times. It was midnight before I did though, and then Pumpkin woke me up before 3 something. I laid in bed thinking calm thoughts until after my 5:30 alarm

I have had 2 hours of sleep. I have laid in bed for... 9.5 hours, but I have had 2 hours of sleep.

I am evil now until I get to sleep again at 10 am.

The problem with this is I require 10-16 hours of sleep to be functional

And when I sleep "regularly" on a tight schedule, I do not get that amount of sleep.

Since cleaning under the desks I have failed to do any house work. There's a whole day of dishes there and I haven't done any more laundry, and I haven't cleaned all the areas of floor I cleared off, and I haven't gone through the old laptop cases I dragged out.

Now, I -could- fix that by sleeping from 10-2 and then sleeping more until around 8+ ish pm. I could be awake by midnight in any event and still awake at 5-10 am when I need to do errands... Great, lovely...

Except I cannot reasonably do housework past midnight due to the noise, and if I do it in the mornings after any reasonable hour, my neighbours will still bitch, because they stay up until 1am or something and then sleep late. I need that 2-6 pm slot for any hope of cleaning and organizing.

I just want to sleep 8 or more hours and be able to clean my house. This should not be a daily struggle.

I have a headache

[kamorth]

What a Fucking Fortnight

TW: rape? Spousal abuse, suicidal ideation

On Tuesday the 9th I had surgery to remove my fallopian tubes and some large ovarian cysts. They also cauterized almost the entire outside of my uterus to treat endometriosis and gave me a slow release hormone IUD. Surgery went really well. I think. My surgeon turned into a very happy gnome while he was hiving me the details so I think that means good stuff.

On Wednesday, my husband picked a fight because I have been ordered not to have sex for 6 weeks. He said a lot of things that were intended to hurt me as much as possible. Like he always does when he doesn't get his way or the answer he wanted. He exploded at me and asked for a divorce. I said okay. I am sticking with my answer.

On Thursday and Friday he had sex with me.

On Monday he moved out. He crashed on a neighbour's couch.

On Monday night, after he asked the neighbour to go and do grocery shopping for him, he was given a 2 week time limit on the couch.

On Tuesday he told me he was doing really well and was feeling positive about proving himself to me. I had finally had a day I could remember properly since the surgery. It was also the first day since surgery that I hadn't been drugged up to the gills with post-surgery prescription painkillers. He had been taking my pain meds for sudden daily headaches until he moved out.

On Wednesday he begged me to let him come home. He had been pushing buttons and I was very upset, but through the tears I managed to tell him no, I can't let you do that. The third time i said I can't, his face snapped to deep rage and all my buttons stopped working.

On Thursday I found out that he had gone back to the neighbour's place and "tried to kill himself" and the neighbour had to call 911. That is literally all the information I get.

On Friday there is silence. I bought myself a white rose and hung it to dry.

On Saturday i get phonecalls asking if i could bring his laptop (at the neighbour's place) up for him "if I'm planning to visit". I took it up... AFTER I spent the day hitting 420 celebrations with another neighbour. And after the neighbour who had the compurer was awake. He works nights and my husband's bullshit had really messed him up. I find out he is being fast tracked into housing and on suicide watch. His "suicide attempt" was testing a kitchen knife on the back of his arm in full view of his host, saying loudly "yep, that'll work", and then going into the bathroom and locking the door. He has done this multiple times before, last time it took me 15 minutes to get the door and he still managed to not even break skin. When I leave, I tell him I need some time. He says "me too".

I have given this man 13 uears of my life and he treated me like shit the whole time. He doesn't get another second of it. I took myself on a date tonight and watched the moon rise over the Rockies and the sea.

I think this was a good thing actually

[gaily-daily-musings]

This is an outline for part 3 of my obimaul fic in which it started out as nasty throne sex on Mandalore that somehow turned into fluff and a plot. Here is the link to the series on ao3. Please enjoy this rough draft that concludes the story!

-

It takes a while for Obi-Wan to calm down from the revelation that the Chancellor is Sidious. But once he does they begin to prepare for his inevitable arrival. It doesn't go very well. They disagree on almost every plan they can come up with before they truly land on something.

The key to victory, Maul insists, is getting Sidious to come to them. Maul is convinced that to confront him on Coruscant would be disastrous. Obi-Wan disagrees. He thinks they should inform the Council. But Maul has no intention to inform the Council. Fuck the Council. Even if it worked, they would immediately lock Maul up and take Obi-Wan away.

Before they can come up with a unilateral decision, Anakin shows up with Ahsoka in tow. Their guns (sabers) ablazing. It's been a full week since Obi-Wan had been captured and (against the wishes of the Council) the two had snuck off to rescue Obi-Wan. Ahsoka tagged along because she wasn't gonna let Anakin have all the fun playing Hero.

They're ready to knock heads but when they arrive on Mandalore they find Obi-Wan having breakfast at the table with Maul and Savage.

Anakin rushes in causing a scene. Clearly they have brainwashed Obi-Wan! In the ensuing fight Obi-Wan plants himself between both parties, holding out his palms to stop the madness. He tells Anakin straight up that Sidious is Palpatine. Anakin doesn't believe him. He adamantly denies it and says that Maul has warped his thinking.

Maul sneers. "I knew we couldn't count on Sidious' new pet."

"What was that??" Anakin hisses.

"He's been grooming you since you first met! You're too far gone to be of any use to me, Skywalker!"

Anakin brandishes his weapon and everyone begins shouting again. Ahsoka is able to help calm Anakin down. Obi-Wan explains in a soft voice that Palpatine really was Sidious. He tricked them all. They need to fight.

"You will see when he arrives." Maul sneers. "You will all see."

Eventually Anakin believes Obi-Wan (sort of) but he doesn't trust the two Darksiders.

"We can take him on our own! We don't need these two!" Anakin snarls at Savage and Maul who both snarl back at him.

Anakin doesn't like this. Not one bit. Anakin and Maul continue to hiss like loth cats at each other. Obi-Wan has to painstakingly bring Maul and Anakin together without letting one kill the other. It's a massive headache.

Then Maul gets the idea that perhaps Anakin can be of use after all. With the "chosen one" here (he says this with the utmost sarcasm) perhaps they stand a chance of overwhelming the Sith Lord.

Anakin very maturely sticks his tongue out at him.

In order for their plan to lure Sidious to Mandalore to work, Anakin must mask his force presence. He HATES this plan. He doesn't want to wear the inhibitor cuffs. For peace of mind, they give Anakin the key so he can take the cuffs off anytime he wants.

Now with Anakin hidden from both Light and Dark users, Maul announces his rule to the rest of the galaxy. That he's taken over Mandalore and intends to begin his own little coalition of planets. It's all over the holonet. Now all they have to do is wait for Sidious to take the bait.

With nothing to do the next two days the group gets bored. In the meantime Anakin and Ahsoka play card games. Savage practices his forms. Obi-Wan wants to free Satine but Maul immediately refuses. He will free her only after the deed is done. Obi-Wan relents.

Later Obi-Wan slips away to go visit her. Maul follows him. True to his word, she'd been left alone in her cell since that first day. Alone to imagine all the horrors Obi-Wan was suffering on a daily basis.

She brightens when she sees him approach. Obi-Wan smiles at her. Like she is the sun come out. Maul hates her. He hates everything about her.

Satine thinks he's come to rescue her at last. Obi-Wan shakes his head. He explains that Anakin and Ahsoka are here and that they have a plan with Maul to defeat the evil Sith Lord Sidious who is actually the Chancellor. It's a lot for her to take in.

He tells her that he has promised not to turn Maul in after they take Sidious out. In exchange for his continued freedom, Maul will step down from Mandalore's ruler and reinstate Satine as Duchess.

"How do you know you can trust his word? What if the moment you kill Sidious he turns on you?"

"Well, the simple answer is that I have Anakin and Ahsoka with me."

"And the not so simple one?"

Obi-Wan hesitates. "I think…I think I can trust him with this. Gathering power, taking your throne, it was all to intimidate Sidious. With him gone there is no need for it anymore."

"But what about you, my love? I fear for you."

Obi-Wan presses a palm to the glass. She reaches for his hand. Pressing her own against his.

"I will be fine. I promise."

"Come back. Come back to me always."

Maul turns away. He's heard enough.

-

That evening they get ready for bed. Anakin and Ahsoka have insisted on staying with Obi-Wan as they keep watch the past two nights. Maul catches Obi-Wan on his way back from Satine and drags him back to his own room.

Maul locks the door behind him. He wants to hurt him. He wants to make him wither and scream the same way his heart does. How dare he even talk to her! How dare he look at her when he was not allowed!

"Strip." He snaps.

Obi-Wan blinks up. "Good evening to you too."

"Strip! Now!"

Obi-Wan frowns but does as he's told. He didn't have to. Not anymore. Skywalker was here with his little Padawan. More importantly, the inhibitor cuffs were gone. Obi-Wan could fight back if he wanted. In fact he had expected the other man to do just that. But he's not doing what Maul had expected at all. He's getting undressed just as Maul ordered. He should be telling Maul to leave. He should be clenching his fists and standing his ground. Maul would have responded by shoving him backwards. Then Obi-Wan was supposed to yell and call for help. Maul would get in a couple of punches before the welps came in and saved their precious Master from Maul's monstrous appetite.

But Obi-Wan sits on the edge of his bed. His chest is hairy, filled with scars from many battles past. He is a great warrior. And even for all his battle hardened skin, his heart remains open and soft. His eyes remain a bright blue. No gold to be seen.

Before he can truly register what was happening, Maul has undressed himself and climbed into Obi-Wan's lap. He wraps his arms around his neck. He breathes in his scent. His sweat.

"Fuck me." He demands petulantly.

Obi-Wan smirks. "Is that an order or a request?"

"We both know you'll do whatever you want either way. What does it matter?"

Obi-Wan does not push him off. He does not deposit Maul on the floor where he belongs. Obi-Wan's fingers trail down his stomach to his nethers.

Maul cannot stop himself from stiffening at the initial touch. The breach pulls up unwanted memories from his boyhood. He tries to swat them away. His shoulders start to shake regardless. Obi-Wan kisses his brow. He seems to understand Maul's need to keep going. He didn't want Obi-Wan to ask. Didn't need him to slow down.

Obi-Wan keeps fingering him, slow and steady. It's irritating.

"Just do it." Maul growls.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Why not?" Maul snaps. He should. Obi-Wan should want to hurt him.

"Because I don't derive pleasure from bringing others pain."

He repositions Maul back against the wall and settles between the vee of his legs. Obi-Wan presses in. At first it's stinging pain and hot flesh splitting him open. Obi-Wan's hands do not let go.

"Stay with me, darling." He says.

Maul swallows.

Obi-Wan shifts and his cock slots into place. Oh. Oh. That was–that was actually nice. Really, really nice. He…

"Fuck." Maul pants.

"That's the idea, love."

Their breaths mingle together. He moans loudly. Marveling at the pleasures he never knew existed.

Tomorrow, one or both of them may die. But tonight, this man was his and his alone. He curls close into his chest and kisses him.

-

In the morning at breakfast Anakin and Ahsoka aren't speaking to each other. They had a huge fight last night. Anakin doesn't want Ahsoka fighting with them against Sidious. Obi-Wan is inclined to agree. Ahsoka looks at him, betrayed. With both her Masters forbidding it, she is benched to the sidelines. But they compromise with her. She will wait outside, only coming in to help if they absolutely needed it.

Sidious takes the bait. He arrives the following afternoon. He is eager to dispose of the loose end of his former apprentice. Obi-Wan had not fully believed it until he looked upon the Chancellor's twisted face. It is ugly in his hatred. Palpatine looks at him with only minimal surprise. His mouth twists up into a cruel smile.

"A team up then?" He laughs darkly. "It will do you no good."

"They're not alone." A voice calls out.

Palpatine freezes. At last he looks unsure of himself. He turns to see Anakin Skywalker as he frees himself from the cuffs. They fall to the floor with a thud.

"Anakin my boy,"

"Save your lies, old man." Anakin hisses. "I don't want to hear them anymore."

Palpatine turns his angry gaze back up to Maul who smirks down at him.

"Something wrong?" He asks. "Did you think I did not know about you grooming your new apprentice?"

Palpatine attacks. Lightning spewing forth from his fingers.

The battle rages. It shakes the entire building with its force. Palpatine's saber flashes and plunges itself into Savage's chest. Maul screams and goes to his side. Savage's ragged breath wheezes in agony.

"I'm not like you brother. I never was."

With Maul distracted Palatine means to sever him as well. But Obi-Wan attacks, sending him back. Then Obi-Wan advances, thinking he's got him on the ropes. But it was a faint. Palpatine lashes out, wounding Obi-Wan on his side. He falls to the floor.

Anakin shouts, knocking the Sith Lord back. He puts himself between Obi-Wan and Palpatine, anger clear in his gaze. Maul jumps back into fray.

Together, the two fight Sidious with a ferocity even the dark lord of the Sith cannot match. Desperate, Sidious conjures lightning to his hands. He unleashes it in the direction of a helpless Obi-Wan, still clutching his side on the floor.

"Master!"

"Kenobi!"

Both men move. Maul is faster than Anakin. He pushes Obi-Wan out of the way, taking the full force of it. He screams as his skin is cooked from both inside and out.

In the end it is Anakin who delivers the final blow. Slicing Palpatine's head clean off his shoulders. Sidious is finally gone.

Obi-Wan crawls over to where Maul lies. Obi-Wan holds him to his chest, cradling him in his arms. Maul reaches up, running a hand over his cheek. He coughs as blood splatters over his chin.

"Tell me…are you–?"

"I'll be fine." Obi-Wan's lips brush his fingers. "Just hold on now, help is on the way."

Maul struggles to breathe, his hand curls into Obi-Wan's beard. He's been struck with force lightning before, but this was of a different caliber. Sidious had been aiming to kill, not maim.

Obi-Wan huffs, not unlike a laugh. "You saved my life." He says with incredulity. "Did I manage to finally teach you something about compassion after all?"

Maul wheezes, snorting gruffly. "Don't be…an idiot. The only one…allowed to kill you…is me."

He exhales and closes his eyes. It was over. It was finally over.

#i left this ambiguous on purpose #cuz i want ppl to imagine the ending they want #personally i prefer the one where maul dies #but you are free to assume he doesn't! #he's just resting his eyes! #a few years from now he'll pop back up like the cockroach he is #and then claim Obi-Wan once and for all #obimaul #fic drabble

[zuckarr]

1 year as a vegan 🌱 an honest overview

I'm a 30 year old woman, and I decided to go vegan in April 2022. I was never a vegetarian. I switched from an omnivorous diet to a plant-based diet overnight, and I have strictly adhered to the latter, with the only few exceptions being accidents.

I would like to write down how my journey as a vegan has been so far, what pros and cons I encountered and how my overall health was impacted. I intend to talk with my heart on my sleeve about everything and I am totally open to questions or clarifications. This post is nothing more than my own subjective, unique experience as a relatively new vegan person. However I won't be talking about the morality of veganism, nor the reasons why I decided to go vegan. I want to give voice to the bodily and mental changes I am going through instead, plus a few personal final thoughts.

I'd like to begin by stating that:

I have been taking several blood tests during the last year in order to keep track of the changes.

I have been taking vitamin B12 supplements as strongly recommended by every single doctor and veganism related website/source.

I have no prior sickness of any kind.

HEADACHES.

Headaches used to permeate my days before going vegan - so much that I had stopped noticing them (when bearable). During my first week as a vegan, the sudden disappearance of my headaches felt like a miracle. I would've never anticipated how life-changing that was. I was so used to my head pounding that the absence of the pain couldn't have gone unnoticed. I figured out I am intolerant to dairy, as countless others are, and yet I used to munch on cheese as my go-to comfort food... as countless others do.

BLOATING.

Bloating was probably also caused by my daily ingestion of dairy products, and was one of my body's cries for help. I did not feel bloated anymore once I started eating plant-based. The skin on my belly was softer at the touch and not as tense as before. People around me began asking if I had lost weight. I hadn't. It was just me deflating, lol.

SLEEP.

This is one of the most unexpected changes: I noticed I've been sleeping less, but better. I started waking up an hour or two earlier than usual, feeling well rested. Thanks to that, my days got longer, my mind got clearer, and my mood improved almost instantly.

ENERGY.

During the first weeks, I felt very energised. Must've been all of the vitamins suddenly filling my body! Who needs to get high when you can get the iron rush from a bunch of spinach, like good old Popeye taught us? Nevertheless, the energy sort of dissipated over time and I've been feeling pretty normal ever since.

POOP.

Oh no, it's poop talk! Fend yourselves, because I am not scared of being descriptive here. Long story short, I used to have frequent diarrhea before going vegan. Once again, my dairy intolerance most likely contributed to creating funny looking brown stuff. If I asked you how's your poop looking, what would you answer (assuming you wouldn't slap me)? And would you know what a healthy poop is supposed to look like? Welp, let's just say I've been proud of my toilet appointments since going vegan, because all I see are Pacha meme worthy sausages. Going to the loo is a happy time now, in comparison to the long minutes of agony spent with stomachache and funky smells.

FLATULENCE.

Can't have booty talk without mentioning the #1 cause of laughter among kids since the beginning of time! Farting is funny, but it is first and foremost the sign of a healthy gut. It takes a quick Google search to find out what farts truly are and why our bodies need to produce them. I confirm one of the most innocent prejudices against vegans - yes, we fart more than usual! But if you read into it, you'll only wish to do the same. Still, it is a largely acceptable change, and has not caused me any discomfort or unfortunate situations whatsoever.

CHOLESTEROL, IRON, PROTEIN, ETC.

Before going vegan, I had high cholesterol, high fibrinogen, low hemoglobin, low albumin, and a few other things that weren't importantly unbalanced. As aforementioned, I've taken several blood tests during the last year which showed ALL of the highs & lows quickly going back to normal. When I saw my cholesterol lower for the first time, I cried. I haven't had normal cholesterol for years, so, seeing that was nothing less than a miracle for me. As for my iron and protein, they increased! My fibrinogen was REALLY high, which could've resulted in a heart attack due to a vascular occlusion, but I don't risk that anymore. I cannot express how ecstatic I am to be considered medically healthy now. I wish somebody had told me earlier about the health benefits of a plant-based diet.

COOKING AND GROCERY SHOPPING.

I was never a big fan of cooking, because I was mostly just hungry all the time and I couldn't be bothered to prep meals or to even chop up vegetables. As a vegan though, I was kind of forced to look at recipes in the beginning - I was pretty lost and didn't know what to cook! Well, vegan cooking turned out to be much easier than I thought. I remember my first vegan grocery shopping experience: a whole new world opened up in the mall. I had never looked at the veggies and fruits and legumes and seeds and cereals section properly before! It was ENORMOUS! Boxes and bags and baskets of wonderfully colored food, most of it really cheap (especially legumes); with half of the money that I used to spend on cheese and meat, I had double the amount of food in my shopping cart and I was so ready to start cooking. The more I cooked, the quicker my cooking skills drastically improved and I have so much fucking fun in the kitchen now! I made countless vegan meals and cakes, loved by everybody (non-vegans asked for recipes more than once!), even by my mother! She used to slaughter chickens and had never baked a cake without eggs before, and yet, she admitted that this way of eating is fantastic and convenient. After a few months, she praised my hair and skin because it looks brighter and healthier. As a matter of fact, I feel nourished and full most of the time. Most importantly, I began to feel grateful and to think of food as a way of loving myself and nurturing my body, rather than a mere matter of taste.

SOCIETY.

The problem with being a vegan in a human society is... other people. It is always, undoubtedly other people who will come @ me with their weird, uncalled for, and rude anti-vegan claims as soon as somebody ELSE reveals that I am a vegan. I swear to god. I have no idea where we picked up the scenario of the 'annoying vegan' because the truth is actually the opposite... it is others who annoy ME... whenever they asked questions, I was happy to answer and explain stuff, because I genuinely thought that they were interested and would have liked learning something new, just like I would've felt if they had talked to me about something that they are passionate about. But nope, the real reason why most people asked me questions was to 'debunk' what I would say and feel like they won the argument. Even though it wasn't an argument at all. It wasn't long before I started noticing the patterns, the same old questions asked, the same rebuttals, over and over, in an endless cycle of going nowhere. So I simply learned how to differentiate the 'gotchas' from the rare, decent people who truly want to know more about veganism. As for going out and eating out, it wasn't as hard nor as expensive as I anticipated. We now live in a very vegan friendly time, there are vegan alternatives to basically everything. I feel extremely lucky to be a vegan now, because I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would've been years before.

PEACE OF MIND.

There is a duck pond nearby and I often take walks through it. Sometimes I sit on a bench, look at the beautiful birds and their dreamy plumage, and I... appreciate them. Not for their meat, like I used to. I can't even fathom seeing those creatures as food now. I appreciate them as individuals, who dream, love, dance, think, sleep, bond with their kin... I feel at peace with animals and nature on a whole other level. I realized how wrong it felt to eat a steak and then pet my dog. I learned so much about animal agriculture, nutrition, human rights, environmentalism… and I have so much more to learn yet. It takes one heartfelt glance into an animal's eyes, to be reminded that we are all the same. I am honored to get to choose not to be cruel to them.

#vegan #veganism #go vegan #use your hearts and brains #be kind to all kinds #veg 🌱 #personal