#nct 2021 fluff

[peachjaem00]

The moon to my stars

PAIRING; childhood best friend!jisung x fem reader

SYNOPSIS;  jisung has been in love with you forever but kept it a secret because he was too afraid to ruin your friendship. he had to endure watching you make a life without him until one day he could not hold it any longer, he couldn’t let the moon leave his stars. or jisung being a complete and absolute simp for the reader since he was a little boy. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS; twin brother! Haechan, jeno, yeji (itzy), jaemin, chenle, renjun

WC; 14.5k

THEMES; fluff, angst, pinning, friends to lovers, non idol! Jisung

WARNINGS; swearing, female reader, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood, physical fight, mentions of bruises, jealousy

AN; based on my jisung’s timelapses [01:10 pm], [12:30 am], [02:00 pm]. you don't have to read the timestamps to understand the fic.

also big shoutout to @cappujeno and @ichorai for beta reading this and for their support, this fic would have not happen if it wasn't for your help!

taglist; @sadgirlroo @shwizhies @patitotodd

He was five when he saw you for the first time. 

Jisung was feeling anxious, his heart was beating fast and his hands were sweating, the movement of the car making him more nervous and the big truck behind them made him feel as if he was being chased, which only fueled his panic. His family was moving to the house in front of yours where you and Haechan were playing. You pushed your brother a little too hard, making him fall, and you laughed as a result. He couldn't stop looking at you—for some reason, you intrigued him. Maybe it was the way you helped your brother immediately right after he fell, maybe it was the way you started to console him by patting his head and fixing his hair, maybe it was the way you never stopped smiling. He still remembers what you were wearing; a light blue dress with a moon right on your chest, with white sneakers and your hair up in two pigtails. You looked adorable and he knew at that moment you had the prettiest pair of eyes. 

He got out of his parent's car and the sound of the door closing was loud enough to make you look his way. You were amazed by the big moving truck and when your eyes landed on him, you waved hello. Jisung was too nervous and didn't know what to do other than hide behind his mom. After the little interaction, she took Jisung's hand and walked inside their new home—he couldn't stop looking at you even while he was being brought inside. 

A few hours later a knock on the door made Jisung look up from his coloring book. It was his mom who opened the door and later on she asked Jisung to come to the entrance. He was surprised by your presence, along with your mother and your brother. Haechan looked exactly like his mom, and he was guessing you looked more like your dad. 

“Jisung, these are our neighbors. They live in the house right in front of us, say hi.” 

“Hey, little guy.” Your mom was the first one to talk and by seeing how nervous Jisung was she smiled. 

“Hi, I'm y/n, very nice to meet you.” You extended your hand and he noticed a silver bracelet on your wrist. It looked big on you, but you didn't seem to care. 

“I'm Jisung,” he said with very pink cheeks while grabbing your hand and letting it go almost immediately. 

“This is my brother Donghyuck, but we call him Haechan.” 

“Hey, only my friends call me that.” 

“Well Jisung is our friend now, dummy.” Jisung laughed, so did his mother and yours. 

“Mom! Don't laugh, say something.” Haechan furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest, Jisung noticed that he had the same bracelet as you. 

“Y/n, we've talked about this.” Your mom’s stern tone made you look down.

“Yeah alright…” There was a defeated tone in your voice. “I’m sorry.”

“That was so fake.” Haechan pokes his tongue out and you copy his actions. 

“Kids, behave.” It only took one look from your mother to stop the bickering between you two. “Now y/n, why don't you ask Jisung's mom the thing you wanted when you saw him earlier?”

“Oh right!” The excitement in your eyes made them look even prettier, making Jisung's heart race. “Can Jisung come play with us? I promise we will take care of him and we'll have him home before it gets dark.” You gave Jisung's mom your puppy eyes and she couldn't help but laugh at your cuteness; meanwhile, Jisung was trying to calm himself. 

“I have no problem, but let's see what Jisung has to say, okay?” All eyes were on him, making him hide behind his mom once again, a habit that he does till this day. 

You noticed how shy and nervous he was, so you came closer, grabbing his hand and rubbing your little thumb on his knuckles in an attempt to calm him down. 

“Do you want to come and play? I promise we're nice people,” you said in the softest voice. It only took a look into your eyes to make Jisung forget about his shyness, the warmth in them was enough to make him feel safe. 

“Yes.” His voice was a whisper but he knew you heard him since your smile grew wider. 

“Great! Let’s go!” You pulled his hand along with your brother’s and bolted out of there with the boys following you. “Thanks Jisung's mom, I'll take good care of him, I promise!”

And that's what you did. You took care of Jisung that whole afternoon, the day after and the one after that. You kept your promise to Mrs. Park and you took care of her son up until this day. 

He was 10 years old when he discovered he had a crush on you. 

You and Donghyuck were going into your first year of junior high while Jisung was still in elementary school. He was distressed, to say the least. It was his first time going to school without the two of you, he felt lost and lonely. You three would walk together to school; it had been a tradition for years, at least for him but now that you were going to another school, the tradition was broken. It was a very mundane thing but seeing you first thing in the morning always lifted his mood up. 

Despite moving to the neighbourhood 5 years ago, he had only managed to make 2 friends, you and your brother. He feared not making any new friends during those 2 years he had left of middle school before he could join you. 

He tried fixing his tie but no matter how much he tried, it always turned out a little crooked. He let out a tired sigh and gave up. He said goodbye to his parents and then he finally grabbed his backpack to leave the house. He was surprised by your presence in his front yard. You looked so pretty in your new uniform and you no longer wore your hair up. It was longer, soft and shiny as it lapped at your shoulders, gently stirred in the breeze, the sun giving it a lighter hue. Jisung let out a sigh while admiring you. 

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” he asked, confused.

“I'm walking you to school, duh,” you said with an obvious tone. 

“Why?” 

“What do you mean why? We've been walking to school together for years, Sung.” 

“I know, but you go to a new school now.” 

“You do know it's just around the corner, right?” you giggled while seeing his red cheeks when he realized. “And even if it was far away, I don't want you to walk to school alone. It's tradition that we do it together.” 

He felt his heart racing and a certain warmth hugging him, he thought he was the only one taking it as tradition. He was so happy to find out he wasn't alone and that it wasn’t a thing that you had to do but that you also looked forward to it.

“And Haechan hyung?” 

“He left earlier since he didn't want anyone to take the last seat of the central row.” You pause. “You know how he is,” you say pointedly, making the younger one laugh. “Here, let me help you.” You untied his tie and put it around your neck. Your fingers moved smoothly and before tying it completely you took it off. “Stay still.” You put the tie around the collar of his button up, you fixed it and finally you tied it up; your fingers brushed against his neck, making him feel chills, they were cold even though it was summer. “There you go.” You moved your hands and Jisung noticed your silver bracelet once again. 

He found out that you and Hacehan had the same bracelet, both of your names engraved plus a little sun for Donghyuck and a little moon for you. It was a gift from your parents when you turned two. You once confessed to him that it was your biggest treasure. 

 “C'mon we're gonna be late.” Whilst saying that, you started walking. 

You never talked much during your walks to school, but none of you cared. It was your little moment of peace before the chaos started.

“Are you nervous?” He looked at you when he heard your voice.

“Yes, very,” you chuckled, making him smile, he couldn't help himself. 

“You'll be okay.” 

“Yeah, I don't think so.” He lets out a nervous giggle. “It's gonna be hard without you there.” 

“C’mon Jisung, you're really nice and such a good person. You just need to make the first move or keep the conversation going if someone starts one.”

“I'm terrible at it.” His tone was dejected.

“You have become much better though, Hyuck and I have taught you well. Don't tell me you have forgotten everything?” You giggled. 

“No.” His voice held a panicked tone. “It’s just that, why would people want to be friends with me? I never talk.” 

“Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.” Your voice was serious. “You’re loyal, funny and caring. They would be very stupid if they didn't want to be friends with you.” He noticed your anger when he looked at you.

You arrived at his school after finishing the conversation. You grabbed his hand before he could go in, making him face you. 

“You're gonna be okay. Don't worry about it too much, and have fun.” You fixed his tie one last time. “I'll come for you when school is done.” And when you fix your own hair, he noticed that your bracelet fell off. “I have to go or I'll be late, see you later!” You ran off before he could say anything else. 

Jisung was quick to grab the bracelet and put it in his pocket making sure it was safe before going in. 

“She believes in you. You can do it, Park Jisung,” he told himself and then he went on to his first class. 

School went by and it wasn't as horrible as he thought. There was a new student, who introduced himself as Chenle—he was a transfer student from China. Jisung took this as an opportunity, he went and introduced himself and helped him throughout the whole day, making sure the new kid knew where his classes were, who his teachers were etcetera… He made sure to make a good impression hoping that Chenle would want to see and talk to him again. 

The last bell rang and Jisung grabbed his things. He went to his locker, put away some books and grabbed the ones that he needed. He said goodbye to Chenle and went to his school's exit. 

“Jisung!” You waved your hand so he would be able to see you. 

He smiled to himself and he jogged to be by your side. 

“So, how was school?” 

Jisung told you everything about his hopefully new friend and the way you looked at him, made his little heart race. He was so happy not only because he was able to talk to someone but because you were so proud of him. After his little ramble he asked about your day, you told him about how boring it was and how teachers were already nagging you about your twin. You also told him about your new friends and about the classes you were excited for. 

“Well here we are,” you said while stopping by Jisung's house first. “See you tomorrow.” You gave him a smile and fixed your hair once again, making Jisung notice about your missing bracelet. 

 “Wait!” He noticed he yelled so he cleared his throat to play it off. “Here.” He reached for his pocket and got the bracelet out. “It fell this morning so I kept it with me to give it back, I know how much it means to you.” 

“Oh my god, my bracelet!” You grabbed it and quickly put it on so it won't fall again. “Thank you so much! You literally saved my life.” You hugged him tightly, not being able to know how else you can express your gratitude.

When your arms surrounded Jisung, he couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy, he knew his cheeks were red and he really hoped you didn't notice how fast his heart was racing. He hugged you back and it felt nice. Your hair smelled like vanilla, your perfume like roses, you engulfed him but he didn't care, he was happy to drown in your embrace. 

After breaking the hug you said goodbye once again, you thanked him and finally, you gave him a little kiss on his cheek. He watched you until you were inside your home and you closed the door; he just stood there, being dumbfounded, grabbing the cheek you pecked. 

“Jisung? Aren't you coming in?” His mom snapped him out of his trance. “C’mon, food's getting cold.” 

Jisung went on with his day but he couldn't stop thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about how cute you looked with your new uniform, or how good you looked with your long hair, or how your hug made him feel so soft and he definitely couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. That little kiss, that meaningless kiss that only showed your gratitude, that insignificant kiss that meant everything for him. His cheeks flush all over again no matter how many times he thought about it. 

He was on his bed, trying to sleep, but he was wide awake, his chest heavy and his mind was empty, only you in it. He didn't understand why. Why was he thinking so much about his friend? Why did that hug feel so nice? Why did that kiss make him so flustered? Why couldn't he get you out of his mind? Or maybe he knew, maybe he had known for a while but he didn't want to admit it…

“Oh no…” 

He was 15 years old when he realized he was in love with you. 

It was the beginning of the second semester of Jisung’s first highschool year, he was still a freshman while you were in your junior year. You were quite popular alongside your brother, having friends in all the years, especially seniors, therefore you were always invited to the parties. This year you invited Jisung to one alongside his friend Chenle, it was his first time attending a party from upperclassmen. He was making sure his hair looked nice, and that his outfit seemed neat, he was nervous as always.

“Stop, you're gonna mess your hair even more,” Chenle said with a mocking tone. 

“Oh no, my hair looks messy?” Chenle let out a big laugh by seeing his scared eyes. 

“I was joking, geez.” 

“You're such an asshole, you know how nervous I get when I'm with her.” 

“I know, because you love her.” Chenle’s singsong tone made Jisung even angrier. 

“I don't love her.” 

“Oh please, yes you do! You're so in love with her, it's painful to watch, dude.” 

Jisung was about to say something but he was stopped by the sound of his doorbell. 

“Jisung! Y/n is here, hurry!” his mom shouted from downstairs. 

They quickly grabbed their stuff and they went downstairs. He stopped midway by seeing you, being totally enamoured by the sight of you. You put makeup on, enhancing your beauty, the gloss made your lips look plumper—he could only think of how much he wanted to kiss them. You cut your hair after years of having it long, he thought you looked adorable but somehow you also looked a little more mature, as if having long hair gave you a kind of child-like aura. Your outfit was heavily planned but it seemed effortless and he smiled seeing you were wearing the jacket he gifted you for your last birthday. 

“Wow,” he whispered to himself. You landed your eyes on him and his heart skipped a beat. 

“C'mon Sung, Hyuck is waiting and you know how whiny he can get.” He snapped out of his trance and followed you out after saying goodbye to his mom. 

“Don't worry Mrs. Park, you know I'll take good care of him.” Jisung's mom smiled. She loves the fact that you have stayed loyal to the promise you made to her 10 years ago. 

As soon as you entered the car, you grabbed the aux cord and started playing one of your playlist, making your twin nag and try to steal the cord from you. You turned the volume knob so you wouldn't be able to hear him, making the younger ones laugh and your twin to stick his tongue out to you; you answered the same way, a thing you have done ever since you were little. 

You sang all the way to the house, laughing at your horrible voice but you didn't care, you still sang with all of your energy. Haechan parked the car and you entered the party together, your twin was quick to disappear making Jisung nervous but when he felt your hand in his, rubbing his knuckles like you always do, he could feel his heart easing down, it also helped seeing Jaemin and Renjun. They were Haechan's friends first but since Jisung hung out with you two almost everyday, they eventually became his friends as well. 

You never left Jisung's side, you know he can get really nervous whenever he's in a new social situation, and a senior party is a very wild place to be, one that you know Jisung is not really used to. You took Chenle and Jisung to the dance floor, you gave them stuff to drink -not alcohol because you know Mrs. Park would kill you-, you introduced them to your friends and you made sure they were feeling comfortable. 

While you were doing all of that, Jisung couldn't stop looking at you, being so grateful to you for not leaving them; everyone noticed his heart eyes towards you but no one said anything about it, instead they planned a little something. 

“Let's play spin the bottle!” Jaemin said with excitement while he shook the empty bottle in his hand. 

“For real? What are we, five?” you said, mocking him. 

“C'mon y/n, don't be like that, it'll be fun.” Yeji, your other best friend besides Jisung, nudged your arm and made you sit down next to her. Renjun made Jisung and Chenle sit down in front of you. 

“Let 's go,” Jaemin said with a grin as he spinned the bottle. 

At the end of the day you were having fun, if people weren't able to kiss they had to take a shot, seeing their faces after it made you laugh so hard; Jisung couldn't take his eyes off you. 

“Okay, miss y/n, your turn.” Renjun placed the bottle in the middle and gave you a mischievous smile. 

You gave the bottle a spin. Everyone was paying attention, hoping it landed on Jisung. The younger one watched the bottle spin until it stopped, everyone went quiet by seeing in who it landed. 

“Guess, we have to kiss now?” you said while looking at Jeno. 

“I guess we do.” He smiled and got near you. 

You met him halfway and connected your lips. The kiss lasted seconds but to Jisung it seemed hours. He despised every moment of it and a sigh of relief left his lips when you two broke the kiss. He gave Jeno a death glare. He hated him and he wanted him to disappear forever. When he looked at you his heart sank. His hope was gone. He started shaking slightly out of fear. You were happy, hell, more than happy. You were thrilled. Your eyes were glowing with eagerness, they only glowed like that when you were really excited or when you were overwhelmed in the best way possible. You liked Jeno, even if you weren't aware of it yet Jisung knew because he knew you better than himself. He knew all of your mannerisms, your habits and after 10 years of friendship he was an expert at reading your eyes. It broke him knowing you were glowing because of Jeno, and not because of him. 

“I have to go and get some fresh air, my head is starting to ache,” he announced. Not that many were paying attention to him anyway. 

He quickly stood up and went to the backyard of  the house. The party was there too, but the music wasn't as loud, and it wasn't as crowded. He found a lonely corner and he went there for a little while, thinking about why it hurt so much if it was only a little crush, a little crush that had been going strong for 5 years now. 

“Oh no,” he said when it hit him. “Oh no, please no.” He massaged his temples, maybe that would help with the now real headache that was happening. “Fucking hell, why me?” He said looking up, asking the stars for an answer. “Why would you do this to me?” He looked directly at the moon who looked beautiful as always, trying to find comfort but it didn't work; she had always been helpful but that night, that night it felt as if she was mocking him and it didn't help the fact that it was in a waxing crescent. She was smiling down at him, it seemed as if she was laughing. 

“Who are you talking to?” 

“Ah! Fuck!” He jumped on his spot and put a hand on his chest trying to control his racing heart. “Don't do that, you scared the shit out of me!” He smacked Chenle's arm while the other tried to control his laughter. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he said in between giggles. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?” 

“Well you stormed out of the room, and then I caught you talking to yourself outloud. I don't know how to tell you this but that's not normal dude.” The mocking tone in his voice made the younger one roll his eyes. 

“I knew that.” 

“As much as I love making fun of your antics, can you tell me what's wrong? Is it because y/n kissed Jeno?” Jisung stayed quiet but he didn't have to say anything, his face, especially his eyes gave away the answer. “Of course it's that.” Chenle looked up and a sigh left his lips. “It's just a stupid game Jisung, don't take it seriously.” 

“No, you don't know her like I do, you didn't notice but it meant more to her, it was more than just a stupid kiss to her.” He looked down and his hand found its way to his eyes, in an attempt to stop the tears from coming down. “You couldn't see it but her eyes screamed with excitement. Ugh! This is bad! This is terrible!” His hands proceeded to pass through his hair, messing it up but at this point, the boy didn't care if it was messy or not. 

“Oh, c'mon dude, calm down.” 

“I can't because you were right.” 

“About what?” 

“I do love her.” 

“What?” The confusion was evident in his face, but then it hit him. “Holy shit! Are you for real? Bro I was joking, like I knew you had a big crush on her but I never thought it was this serious.” 

“Yeah, I thought so too but seeing her kiss Jeno.” He rubbed his eyes and then he let out a tired sigh. “It made me so angry? No, is not that. Sad?”

“Disappointed,” Chenle finished his sentence. He always knew what Jisung meant even when Jisung himself couldn’t find the right word. 

“Yeah. I felt my heart sink, it broke me a little.” 

“Shit, dude.” 

“I know.” He leaned on the wall and slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor. 

Chenle sat down by his side, he sneaked his arm around Jisung's shoulders and patted him softly, trying to comfort his friend. 

“Tell her.” 

“What?”

“About how you feel.” 

“Are you stupid? No way, she will never feel the same. She only sees me as her neighbour.”

“Oh, c'mon, you know that's not true. She hates it when you say that, you're her friend.” 

“Exactly, we're friends, I don't want to ruin that.” 

“What makes you so sure it will ruin your friendship?”

“Because she won't reciprocate my feelings and then it will be awkward and little by little, we will drift apart and I don't want that, I can't have that.” He was exhausted.

“It will be okay dude.” Chenle hugged him.

“No it won't.” He looked up once again. 

The moon was no longer mocking him, she was inconsolable. She knew how heartbroken the boy was and it made her angry not knowing how to comfort him. She had been helpful towards the boy for years now, always making him feel safe whenever he sought calmness, but tonight she cried alongside him. 

He was 16 years old when he got in a fight.

You and Jeno were going strong, almost a year has passed since that party and 10 months since you started dating. 

He hated every single second of it. It broke him having to hear you talk about how dreamy he was, and how he's the best boyfriend and the worst thing is that he wanted to hate him, but he couldn't. He made you so happy, and that was what mattered. He suffered but seeing your smile was worth all the pain. 

Your graduation was coming, meaning prom was just around the corner. Of course you got Jisung and Chenle tickets, you wanted to spend the night with the people closest to you. It was going to be the perfect night, you made sure of it. In fact the only reason why you wanted to be president of the student council was to have full control of prom night; no one was going to ruin your special night. 

You ran down the stairs the second you heard the ringbell. You opened the door and Jisung was there, waiting for you. 

“Jesus, Jisung, hurry up!” You dragged him inside by his arm, making him lose his balance and almost falling. “We don't have much time!” He straightened his position and acted as if nothing happened.

“Isn't it at like 9?” he asked, confused.

“Yeah, so what?” 

“Y/n, it's 2pm, I think we have plenty of time.” There was a mocking tone in his voice, making you death glare at him, his smile disappeared in seconds. 

“We have to go pick up your suit and Hyuck's, then my dress, then I have to come back here to drop both of you off, then I have to go to my hair and makeup appointment and then come back once again to finish getting ready, plus I have to be like an hour early since I'm the president.” 

“Why do you have to drop us off? We'll go with you.” 

“Really? You don't mind?” 

“Not at all, it'll save us lots of time.” 

“Thank you.” Your eyes were soft and the gratitude was evident in your tone. “Okay then let's go. Lee Donghyuck get your ass down now!” Jisung covered his ears, he didn't expect that scream. “Shit, sorry.” You laughed, making him smile. 

“Dude, don't scream!” Haechan made an act of presence. “I'm here, don't get all crazy, geez.” 

“Stop whining and get your ass moving.” And it only took one glare to make him silent and obedient. 

You may look like your dad but you had the same glare as your mom, making your brother very scared of you. This always made Jisung laugh, he never gets to see Haechan like this, so it's a treasure when he witnesses it. 

“What are you laughing about? Move!” you said with a stern tone. 

“Yes, ma'am.” He saluted and finally got out of the house. 

Both of you were halfway to the car when you noticed Haechan was still at the entrance, picking up the mail. 

“Hyuck, it's not the time! Move!” 

“It has the logo of The University of Sydney.” He showed a medium size envelope. “This is it y/n.” The colour left your face, your heart dropped to your stomach, you started shaking and your legs went limp. 

You went on a family vacation to Australia a few years ago and you loved every second of it. You automatically fell in love with Sydney and when you visited the university's campus with your brother you knew you had to attend that school. It had the best program for you, the classes were amazing with very famous professors. It was your perfect school.

Inside that envelope was the answer to your future. It stated if you were accepted into your dream college or if you were rejected; only the thought of not being able to go made you dizzy. You lost your balance but thank god for Jisung who was fast enough to catch you. 

“I can't, you do it.” You looked at your brother with pleading eyes. Your lips and throat went dry, making your voice sound out a little broken. 

“No fucking way!” Haechan refused immediately and got closer to Jisung. “You do it.” He handed him the envelope and Jisung was hesitant to take it.

“I don't know if I should.” 

“Please, for me? I can't bring myself to do it, Sung.” He looked at you and he melted; your eyes were literally begging him, how could he say no?

“Fine.” He let go of you with delicacy and grabbed the envelope.

He opened it and took out the letter slowly, afraid that it might rip if he hurried. All eyes were on him while he read the inside, no one could decipher what it said, his face was expressionless. Jisung read it slowly, making sure to comprehend what it said, to save himself the confusion and a possible breakdown from you if he said anything wrong. It's been only a few minutes but to everyone it felt like hours, you wanted to know but at the same time you didn't. You can't be rejected if you never knew the contents of the letter, right? Your brother, on the other hand, was impatient. 

“Say something already!” He startled everyone with his loud scream. 

Jisung looked at you with a little smile on his lips. He didn't have to say anything, you knew by looking into his eyes that everything was okay. You laughed and your eyes started to water and you were quick to engulf the younger one in your embrace. He held you close, savouring the moment since it may be one of the lasts for a long time. 

“Why are you hugging? Holy shit y/n, are you crying? What's going on?!”

“She got in.” The look on his eyes was filled with pride and happiness. 

He knew how hard you worked for this. He was there pulling all nighters by your side, being your number one hype man, having your back in the highs and lows. Jisung was there for you throughout the whole journey and to be honest, you couldn't imagine anyone else by your side, you were glad it was him. 

“Holy shit!” Your brother took you in his arms and hugged you, while making you jump and spin around together. “I'm so proud of you! You're going abroad! You're gonna live by yourself! You're getting everything you’ve always dreamed of!” 

“I know!” You match your brother's excited tone. “I gotta tell Jeno.” And just like that, Jisung's smile disappeared. Good for him that you didn't notice. 

After telling Jeno, your parents and Jisung's parents you finally went on with your day, and the busy schedule that you had ahead. 

After picking up the suits you went to pick up your dress. It was beautiful, a midnight blue dress with a subtle glitter to it, making it look like the night sky, it was backless and it had spaghetti straps. You didn't know this but Jisung convinced your mom to tell him the colour of your dress so he could buy the same colour tie. He wasn't going to be your date, but the least he wanted was to match. Then it was the hair and makeup appointment, Jisung and Haechan went to a nearby cafe to kill time while they waited for you, it was going to take a while. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked your brother when they're sitting down with some coffee and pastries. 

“A little bored but you know once we arrive at the party I'll be the star of the night.” A smirk on his lips, making the younger one laugh. 

“I meant, how do you feel knowing she's going away?” Haechan's smile disappeared and his eyes lost their playful glint.

“I'm happy for her.” He meant it but his voice had a bitter tone.

“Come on dude, it's me.” Haechan looked at him and found comfort in his eyes. In that moment he finally realised why you always did it, Jisung had the ability to let everyone feel at ease just by looking into his eyes. 

He lets out a sigh before speaking. 

“I'm happy for her, I really am but…” He played with the spoon of his drink, to calm his nerves. “I'm really gonna miss her…” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

“No, Jisung you don't get it.” His tone was quickly changed for a serious one, his eyes went from sorrow to anger in a matter of seconds and his jaw tensed. “She has been by my side literally my whole life, she's my other half… We're the sun and the moon… How am I going to live without her here with me?” 

“Hey, it'll be okay, it's not like she's gone forever.” The younger one talked with his softest voice. “She's gonna visit and you know she'll come back. She will never leave you behind, at the end of the day, you are her other half as well.”  

“Yeah I guess…” He finally looked up from his drink. “Thanks, Jisung.” 

“No problem.” He gave him a smile which was reciprocated quickly and Haechan's eyes came back to being soft and happy again. 

A little while went by when you appeared at the coffee shop all dolled up. You looked beautiful; your hair was styled making your face look even prettier and the make up was perfect, it accentuated your features. Jisung couldn't take his eyes off of you. He was hypnotised, and being honest, he didn't want to be freed from your spell. 

“Holy shit dude,” your brother let out. “You look really pretty.”  

“Wow, you really mean that?” The nervousness was evident in your voice.

You weren't really sure about your makeup, you felt as if it was too much, and it made you feel a little insecure. The shades of colour that the woman picked weren't exactly in your comfort zone but you trusted her because at the end of the day, she was the expert. 

“Hundred percent! You look stunning! Right, Jisung?” He elbowed the younger one, trying to find support from him. 

Jisung was caught off guard since he was paying his undying attention to you. He snapped out of it and he went silent for a second. His cheeks were red, his mouth went dry and his hands were slightly shaking. 

“Yes, you look stunning.” His voice was almost nonexistent, he was afraid you weren't able to hear him but the smile on your face and the slight blush creeping up gave it away. 

“Thanks, Sungie.” The softness in your voice made him lightheaded. “Let's move, we still have to go home and finish.” 

The way back home was fun. You had the best taste in music and a talent of always picking the perfect songs for the right moment. The vibes were never off when you were the one in control of the music. 

When you arrived everyone went to their respective homes, you gave them until 7:45 to be ready or else you would leave without them, your glare made them both know you were dead serious. 

Jisung was in his room, he already had his suit on and once again he was struggling with his tie, he never got the hang of it. After failing for the fifth time he let out a tired sigh and went to his mom. He peeped his head into his parents room and found his mom in her bed reading a book. His dad was nowhere to be seen since he was out on a business trip. 

“What's up Jisung?” She didn't even have to look up, she felt her son's presence in a second. 

“Can you help me with my tie?” He was a little embarrassed when it hit him. He was a 16 year old boy who still needed help from his mom. It was quite adorable, really. 

“Of course, baby.” Her mocking tone made his cheeks get redder. 

“Ugh mom!” She laughed by hearing his whining and that made him smile. 

She got up and went closer to her son. She made the knot smoothly. Jisung was amazed with the fastness and how easy she made it look. His mom fixed his tie, then his collar and finally his blazer. He looked dashing, his hair was styled away from his forehead and she was proud knowing it was all his doing.

“You look so handsome.” 

“Thanks, mom.” The shyness was evident in his voice and he scratched the nape of his neck. 

“So…” 

“So… ?” he asked, confused. 

“Is this the night?” 

“The night of what?”

“The night you confess your feelings for y/n?”

“Oh my god, mom!” He was sick and tired of hearing this.

His mom found out about his crush on you even before he even realised, and she has insisted her son to confess for years now. She rooted for you knowing how enamoured he was, she also knew you had certain feelings for him, even though you weren't aware, moms always know best. 

“What?” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, looking at her son in an accusatory way. 

“She has a boyfriend, and she’s going away soon. Why even bother?” 

“You have loved her for years Jisung, how much longer can you keep this a secret?” 

“As long as necessary.” His serious tone made her mom sighed. “It's her night, I don't want to ruin it.” 

“Fine.” He noticed the sadness in her eyes and he was quick to hug her. 

“It's okay mom, I'm okay,” he whispered and his mom tightened the hug. 

“Go, or you'll be late.” 

He broke the embrace, he gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek and he finally got out. He went back to his room and checked himself on the mirror one last time. He fixed a stray hair, he put on some rings, his watch (which you gifted him), a necklace and then he covered himself with some perfume (one that he knew was your favourite). He said goodbye to his mom and got out of the house. 

He was surprised by the presence of Jeno at your entrance, and he was even more surprised seeing him hesitating on whether he should knock or not. 

“Hey,” he said, startling the older one. Fuck, he looked good. 

“Jisung, hey.” Jisung did not miss the nervous tone and his eyes were shaking, something was off with Lee Jeno, and he was going to discover what. “You look good.” 

“Thanks, you too.” It hurt him saying that, knowing damn well you were gonna fall all over again for your boyfriend. “C'mon, let's get inside.” He just opened the door. It wasn't a surprise, Jisung has been coming here since he was five, it's his second home. 

“I'm here!” he announced his presence so no one worries. “Jeno hyung is here too.” 

“How did you get in?” Haechan was fixing his tie while coming down the stairs and he looked at Jeno confused.

“Jisung.” Jeno pointed at the younger one

“You gotta stop doing that dude,” he laughed while finally standing beside his friends. 

“I will when you stop doing the same at my house.” The younger one said in a challenging manner. 

“Okay fine, you win.” Haechan lifted his hands up in a sign of defeat. 

“You're ready to go?” Your voice made the three guys turn their heads. 

Every single one of them went silent by the sight of you. You looked absolutely stunning. The dress fitted your body in all the right places as if it was meant to be worn by you and it made your moles visible making your skin look like a starry night. The make up was perfect and your hair was also perfect, you looked perfect. Jisung's heart was racing and he was sure everyone could hear it, he couldn't take his eyes off of you, his mouth was dry and his hands were clammy. 

“Wow!” Jeno was the first one to break the silence. “Holy fuck, you look stunning! I can't believe this gorgeous woman is mine!” You could feel the heat come to your face, your smile was wide and the shyness was very evident. 

“Stop!” You hid your face. 

“Hey don't do that, people deserve to see your beauty.” Jeno took your hands off and he let out a sigh. “Fuck,” he whispered, he cupped your cheeks with his hands and then he kissed you.

Jisung looked away with teary eyes, oh how he wished that was him. 

“Sorry, I couldn't help myself,” Jeno said after breaking the kiss. 

“It's okay,” you whispered. Your cheeks were on fire and your eyes were shining like a galaxy. 

“Okay love birds, it's time to go.” Haechan was the first to speak after that scene. “C'mon, y/n! You were hurrying us before, move!” 

“I'll kill you Hyuck.” Your voice was serious and once again, your brother lifted his hands up. 

“Sorry.” And then he got out of the house. 

Jeno followed him out and you were left with Jisung. You looked at him and frowned by seeing his teary eyes. 

“Hey, Sung.” You came closer to him, you grabbed his hand and started caressing his knuckles with your thumb, like you always do. “What 's wrong?”

“Sorry it's just that, you look so pretty.” It may have been a half-assed lie but as long as you're happy. “And I'm happy I get to be with you during this night.” 

“Of course.” Your voice was soft and your touch was delicate. “You're my best friend, of course I wanted you here, with me, during this very important night.” He let out a sad giggle. “C'mon let's go.” You didn't let go of his hand throughout the whole ride to prom. 

When you arrived, Haechan and Jisung went to the gym to kill time while you made sure everything was perfect, Jeno went with you. Jisung couldn't stop looking at the both of you; you looked perfect and he loved seeing you in your president role, but Jeno, Jeno looked nervous. He followed you everywhere but he did it silently, he wasn't by your side, holding your waist like he usually does but instead he was behind you. He noticed how he was spacing out, in all this time knowing Jeno, he has never been caught off guard. 

Time passed by and the party finally started. You were at the door receiving and greeting everyone while your friends and brother danced together but after a while you decided it was time to drop formalities and have fun, so you went with your friends and started dancing. 

After a while you were called, it was time to announce the prom king and queen. You excused yourself and went backstage to prepare everything and made sure everything was perfect. You went up on stage, grabbed a microphone and asked for the band to turn it down a bit, making everyone whine a little but the moment they saw you up stage they knew what was happening. 

“Hello everyone, are you having a good time?” The crowd answered with whoops of excitement, which made your smile grow wider. “I'm glad to hear you're having fun. Well it's that time of the night.” You showed the envelope that was in your hands and the screams were louder this time. “Inside this envelope are the names of your next prom king and queen, are you ready?” 

“Yes!” everyone answered in unison, making you laugh. 

“Your prom king is…” You stopped to make a pause to build up the excitement. It also bought you a little time to open the envelope. You smile by reading the name in the piece of paper, feeling proud. “Lee Jeno!” Everyone shouted and started congratulating Jeno while he walked towards the stage. 

You gave him the ribbon that said “Prom King”, a little sceptre and you finally placed the crown on his head. You congratulated him and kissed him, not caring about all the viewers. 

“Okay now, the title that actually matters.” People laughed once again, making you feel a little proud, you have rehearsed that line for a month now. “And your prom queen is…” The drummer made a drum roll to build up tension and for you to read the words on the piece of paper. You smile once again. “Hwang Yeji!” 

Your best friend was shocked, she didn't expect it, making the moment more genuine. Jaemin, her date, walked her through the crowd and helped her up on stage since she was still in shock. You put on the ribbon and gave her the sceptre. After crowning her you hugged her tightly. 

“Congratulations babe, I'm so proud of you.” 

“Thank you.” She broke the hug and waved at the audience, making them shout even louder for her. 

“Okay now it's time for the king and queen's waltz so please clear the dance floor.”

People moved and the centre of the dance floor was empty. Jeno, Yeji and you got off of stage, you were quick to move aside, giving your boyfriend and friend the space so they could go and dance. You were puzzled by seeing them coming towards you and Jaemin. 

“Actually.” Jeno extended his hand towards you while Yeji and Jaemin went together to the dance floor. “Will you grant me this dance, beautiful lady?” 

“But you're supposed to dance with the queen, I'm not the queen.” Even though you're giving him reasons not to, you took his hand, and you let him guide you to join your friends. 

“You are my queen.” You couldn't help but feel your cheeks warm. “And besides, I really doubt people will say something about it, at the end of the day, I'm the king, and you're their president.” You both laughed and finally made it to the centre of the dance floor. 

You looked like the perfect couple to everyone that was watching. You and Jeno were described by your classmates as the perfect match, or a match made in heaven. To everyone, you were meant to be. 

Jisung watched you from afar, being overwhelmed by all his emotions. He was admiring you and at the same time he was being jealous of Jeno, he couldn't help but feel all his love for you overflowing his heart while all of his rage went towards Jeno. He felt so happy for you, seeing that you're enjoying the night but he despised the fact that you weren't with him. And he hated himself, he hated himself for being a coward and not telling you about his feelings, because now he is suffering the consequences. It was easy for him when you were single because in a way, he still had a chance, but when you got together with Jeno, all the hope he had (which wasn't much) was gone, crushed. 

He couldn't bear to look at you two anymore so he ran off out of there. He couldn't see how Jeno came close to your ear and asked you to go and talk outside. Jisung went into the first classroom, the tears were falling by themselves, he wanted them to stop but it was pointless, his heart was way too broken, the only thing it could do to fix itself was crying. His vision was blurry because of the tears so he didn't see you and Jeno coming in. He was on the other side of the room and the lights were off so he was almost invisible, neither Jeno or you noticed the younger one. Jisung hid himself when he heard the door being closed. 

“What did you want to talk about?” He froze even more on his spot by hearing your voice. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop someone's conversation but it was you. 

“It's about you leaving.” Jeno's voice was really low, Jisung could barely hear it. “You know how we talked about it at the start of our relationship, you said if I felt comfortable with it we could try long distance.” 

“Yeah?” Your tone was worried, Jisung could picture you perfectly, fidgeting with your bracelet. 

“I don't think I can do it.” You could hear the pain in Jeno's voice and so did Jisung, even though he didn't like him, he empathized with him. 

“I mean I told you about it today, and I'm not leaving until like 2 months, we can talk about it and figure it out. Think about it, please.” The pleading in your voice made Jisung sneak a peek. 

You were holding Jeno's hands, your eyes were begging him and it made him furious. You should never be begging anyone to stay with you. To him, you deserve the best of the best. The rage was pooling inside of him, he almost came out and confronted Jeno. 

“The thing is that I have, ever since you told me you were planning on going away I've been thinking about it. I tried y/n, I really tried but I can't.” Jisung noticed your eyes watering, his hands were in fists to the point where his knuckles were white. “I love you so much but not enough to wait for you.” In that moment you could feel your heart break, the tears streamed down automatically. Jisung couldn't contain himself anymore and he came out. 

“You fucking asshole!” And after that he punched Jeno in the face, making his lip bleed. “How fucking dare you!?” And another, he could hear your screaming but he was blinded by rage. “You don't love her enough!? Then you never loved her in the first place!” And another, and another and another. 

“Jisung, stop! Are you insane!?” You tried to grab him but it was useless. 

Jeno was taken back at first but when the surprise passed he grabbed Jisung's hand and then he hit him back, so the fight started being reciprocated. 

Jisung had the advantage since Jeno was surprised by the attack but as soon as the older one gained consciousness, Jisung started to get in trouble. Of course he knew Jeno was stronger and better, but he didn't care, he was furious. Jeno didn't appreciate you enough to try, he didn't realise how lucky he was for having you by his side, he wasn't willing to sacrifice for you the way he was. Because Jisung would do anything if it meant being by your side. 

“Stop! Stop it!” You somehow got a grip on Jeno's arm and yanked him away from Jisung. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?! Are you animals!?” You were furious, Jisung has known you for years and he has never seen you this angry. 

Jisung was trying to regulate his breathing as well as Jeno, none of them dared to look at you. But, you looked at both of them, feeling disappointed and heartbroken. You looked at Jisung, his nose was bleeding, his right eye started to get black and his left eyebrow was also bleeding; you looked at Jeno, his lip was bleeding and his cheekbone was red. You let out a sigh before speaking. 

“Jeno, I think you should leave.” He looked at you in disbelief. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“Do I look like I'm fucking kidding?” Your tone was stone cold, you have never spoken like that to him before, and it affected him. In that moment he realised how much he has hurt you. 

He got up and left, none of you noticed but his eyes started to water and when he closed the door, his tears were mixing with the blood. 

You broke down after seeing him leave. You couldn't hold it anymore and you just let go. You covered your mouth trying to keep it as silent as possible. You knew there was a big possibility that you and Jeno would break up if you were accepted, but you never thought Jeno would say that to you. “I love you but not enough…” It would have hurt less if he just said he hated you.

“Y/n,” Jisung said in the softest voice while he got closer to you. 

“Shut up.” Your voice was broken but the anger was very noticeable. “I am furious at you so shut the fuck up and get your ass to the infirmary.” You didn't move, therefore he didn't. “Now!” 

He obeyed immediately and started his way. You just needed a little time alone to get yourself together, a lot happened in a span of 10 minutes. Your boyfriend broke up with you and told you that he didn't love you enough, you're best friend heard all of it which was humiliating enough by itself, the last thing you wanted was for someone else to know; your best friend started a fight with your now ex-boyfriend and now he was on his way towards the infirmary so you could cure his wounds. Not exactly the plans you had for your prom night. You let out a last sigh, you wiped your tears away and you got out of there. 

Jisung perked up in his position when he saw the door being opened and his cheeks got redder by seeing you walk in. You didn't say anything, you just went to get the stuff you needed to cure him. He looked at every move you did, he was angry at himself for causing such a scene on your prom night but he didn't regret it; if he had to, he would do it again, as many times as necessary. 

He hissed when he felt the cotton swab on his injury. 

“Does it hurt?” you asked in a low tone, but it was expressionless. 

“It stings a little.”

“Good.” 

“That's mean,” he whispered but you heard. 

“I'm sorry, I'm just really mad.” He lowered his head but you made him look up again since you were treating his eyebrow's cut. “What the fuck were you thinking Park Jisung?”

“I wasn't, that's the thing.” 

“What were you doing there anyway?” He panicked for a second.

“I got a little overwhelmed, I needed some air I guess.” He hated lying to you but he needed to. 

“Why did you hit him?” 

“Because of what he said.” His voice turns deeper, surprising you. His voice was deep but you have never heard it reach that tone. “How could he say that? He didn't know he was the luckiest guy for having you by his side, it made me furious hearing how ungrateful he was, and how much of an asshole he was to you.” You stopped treating his injury but he didn't seem to mind. “What he said was awful but when I saw how hurt you were, I couldn't let him get away like that, rage took over me.” He finally looked at you.

You tried to fight back the smile that was trying to come out by seeing how soft his eyes were, they were holding the whole galaxy, and for him they did, since he was looking at you. 

“I know it was stupid since Jeno is way stronger than me but I didn't care, he hurt you and I needed to do something about it.” You hold his hands and you rub your thumb through his knuckles, he smiled while looking at the little action. “I am sorry for ruining your night but I don't regret it.” 

“You don't?”

“No.” 

“You're a dumbass, you know that right?” 

“That 's mean.” 

“Well I get to be mean.” You continued cleaning his wounds. “I'm stuck here with you instead of enjoying my prom night.” 

“I'm sorry.” He lowered his head once again, his voice was full of shame and his cheeks turned red. 

“Hey, I'm kidding.” You giggled softly while lifting his head up. “It was already ruined when Jeno decided to break up with me. Which was a very dick move of his, he could've at least waited for tomorrow to do it.” You giggled. 

“Asshole,” Jisung said automatically, making you laugh even harder. 

You finished cleaning his eyebrow wound and put on some ointment for the soreness and to help with the bruising. You then continued with the one on his lower lip. His usually plumped lip was even more swollen and it was starting to turn a subtle shade of blue and purple. He hissed once again by feeling the cotton swab with alcohol but you seemed to not care, you just focused on cleaning. 

“Thank you, by the way,” you said after a while. “I'm still mad as fuck but thank you for defending me like that.” He looked at you and he fell in love all over again. 

The lights of the room were off because you didn't need them, the windows did a perfect job at bringing the light from the moon and the lamp posts from outside. The moonlight hit your face in all the right places, making you look ethereal and even though you have been dancing all night and you cried, your makeup and hair were almost intact; a little out of place but you still looked as beautiful as the start of the night. Jisung could notice the anger in your eyes but he also noticed the worry, no matter how furious you were you couldn't help but worry about him.

He didn't realise what he was doing. For the second time that night, Jisung was moving out of instinct, his heart taking control instead of his brain. He got closer and closer towards you, his lips being pulled automatically towards yours as if they were magnets. And then he kissed you. It was quick and innocent, his lips barely touched yours since he snapped out of his trance but he kissed you. 

Both of you were surprised, none of you knew what happened exactly. You could feel the heat coming up to your cheeks and your eyes were wide open. Jisung's heart was racing at a very concerning speed and his head was spinning. He tried to talk, tried to explain but nothing was coming out of his lips. 

“Sorry, I lost my balance for a sec, maybe Jeno hit me in the head because I kind of feel a little dizzy.” He faced palmed himself in his imagination, what a shitty excuse but he couldn't come up with something better.

“Oh,” was the only thing that you could say. “No worries.” 

After that you finished treating his wounds in dead silence. Jisung was cursing himself in his head. You didn't know what to think exactly, but you knew one thing for sure, you were tired.

Once you were done you came back to the gym and picked your things. You explained the situation to Yeji and begged her no to tell your brother since you knew he would cause a scene, and you didn't want to deal with that, you didn't want to deal with anything anymore. She hugged you and told you she was gonna take care of everything for you, and then she kissed your forehead before saying goodbye. After that you went to your brother to ask him for the keys, you used the tired excuse and he gave in, not because he believed you but because he was having way too much fun to care. You envied him, you envied everyone who was having fun. 

When you got out of the gym you were surprised to see Jisung waiting for you by the car. He was leaning on it, his tie was loose, he took the jacket off and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, he looked pretty handsome. 

“What are you doing?” You unlocked the car and opened the door. 

“I'm going with you,” he says with an obvious tone. 

“C'mon Jisung, go back inside and have fun.” 

“I don't want to go inside, I want to spend the night with you, like you wanted.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You said you wanted to spend the night with the people you're closest to, and not to toot my own horn but, I'm pretty sure that after Haechan hyung, I'm the one closest to you.” You laughed at his antics. 

“Okay fine, you win. Get inside.”

“Yes!” He put his fist up in a sign of victory and got inside. 

The drive back home was calm. The music was lower than you typically play it, the windows were down and the air was chilly but you didn't care. You stopped at a red light and turned your head towards the younger boy, he was looking out the window. Maybe your night was ruined but seeing him by your side, admiring the night sky while softly singing the songs made you realise you couldn't have asked for a better ending to the night.

He was 18 year old when he entered university

It was the first time Jisung was walking alone to school ever since he was 5. You’re studying abroad, Haechan had a different schedule than him and Chenle lived in a whole other neighbourhood, which was closer to the school.  

He felt alone and lost, he had ever since he said goodbye to you at the airport. You were gone and he didn't know what to do. He tried to distract himself, he started saying yes to everything Chenle had invited him to and he also hung out with Jaemin, Renjun and Haechan. He tried to avoid your house though, it hurt even seeing it from across the street knowing damn well you weren't there. 

After the prom, everything was really weird. Jeno had broken up with you, so you weren't the happiest and there was a weird air between you two after the kiss that had happened. It was merely a peck but it happened and it made Jisung act even more nervous around you and it made you confused. 

You didn't know how to feel, you didn't know what to think exactly. Was it really just a mistake? Did he mean to kiss you? Was it just the heat of the moment? Your head spinned for months. You were so confused, you found comfort knowing you were leaving soon. Away from all the drama and confusion. 

You kept to yourself the rest of the time you had left at home, focusing on packing and making sure you had everything for your visa and other stuff you needed for school, also hiding the stuff you didn't want your twin to take once you were gone. You barely saw anyone, you never left your room unless it was really necessary; even your own family barely saw you and they lived with you. You were breaking Jisung´s heart without knowing, the younger one just wanted to spend as much time as he could with you but he loved you, and he was gonna respect your wish for privacy. 

You and Jisung were barely speaking. You used university as an excuse but he knew it was something else and he didn't blame you. You were desolate because of Jeno, hell, you were heartbroken and he knew the last thing you needed was another boy to mess with your feelings (not that he would). You also had to focus on your school and he didn't want to admit it but he knew his actions on that prom night confused you and he hated himself for it. The last thing he wanted was for things to be awkward between you two, he just wanted to be with you and he missed you like crazy; your absence really took a toll on him.  

You weren't able to come home during your winter and summer break, you joined too many clubs and you also joined the student council at your university; saying you were busy was nothing, you were swamped with work. You did this on purpose though, you made yourself as busy as possible so you wouldn't have to deal with your thoughts, so you wouldn't have to face your feelings and to deal with the storm happening in your head. You may not be aware of it but Jisung knew, at the end of the day, he knew you better than anyone else. 

He was halfway through his walk to university when his phone rang and he was surprised by seeing your picture on the screen, you were calling him. It was weird since you weren't speaking that much and because you hate talking on the phone so much, you prefer texting people; you only called when it was urgent or an emergency. 

“Hey, Sungie.” Your voice made his heart race and he was smiling, he was so happy to hear your voice he almost cried. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” He was happy but he couldn't help but worry. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it?” 

“Well, you hate talking on the phone, so I thought something was wrong.” He laughed softly. 

“Everything's fine, don't worry about it.” Your voice was soft but he could hear the tiredness in your tone. “Are you on your way to school right?” 

“Yeah… How did you know that?” He didn't tell you about his first day, the only uni talk he has had with you was when he told you he got in, and that was it. 

“Your mom called me.” He rolled his eyes by the mention of his mom. 

“Of course she did.” His tone was filled with annoyance and you laughed because of it. 

“Hey, give her a break, she was excited and so proud of you.” 

“Still, she didn't have to worry you about it.” 

“It's nothing Jisung really, I enjoyed talking to her a lot, especially since we haven't been talking that much.” 

“Sorry.” He looked down and his face was filled with disappointment. 

“If someone has to apologise it's me, I’m the one who has been M.I.A.” 

“But I haven't made so much effort either. I wanted to give you some space.”

“Yeah I know. Thanks...” Your tone fell flat near the end, you were disappointed as well. You didn't want space, not from him at least. 

“Why are you calling though? You never call.” 

“Oh, yeah, well…I wanted to keep the tradition going somehow.” You let out a nervous laugh and even though he couldn't see you, he knew you were fidgeting with your bracelet. “I didn't want you to walk to school alone.” 

“I'm really thankful, but don't you have classes? If you're skipping them I swear I’ll go to Australia myself and get your ass back to class.” 

“Woah woah! Easy there tiger.” Your laughter made his heart race. “I have a free period, I'm actually getting some coffee.” 

“Oh okay, good.” His cheeks turned a very bright shade of red and this was the first time he thanked the moon you weren't there to see his embarrassment. 

An awkward silence fell upon you. This has never happened, not even when you were kids and meeting for the first time. You always made sure to fill in the silence but now, you didn't know how to. You hated this, you hated feeling awkward with your own best friend, the guy that you had known for 13 years. 

You cursed yourself and him as well. How did you allow stuff to get so complicated? Why did he have to kiss you? You broke your head for several months trying to decipher what the hell was that. It was the only thing you could think of after that night. Not your break up, not your prom, not the fight but that stupid kiss, that stupid kiss that could barely even be considered one. Jisung only touched your lips for a mere second but it scarred you for life. You didn't know why, but that kiss meant a lot to you. 

And why on earth were you glad he did? You thought about how much you wished that kiss didn’t happen but being honest, you liked it, a lot, more than you should’ve. You may be in a weird place with your best friend but if you could erase that peck you wouldn’t. 

“I hate this, Sung,” you said, referring to the mess happening in your head. “I hate not being able to talk to you.” Your eyes were starting to fill with tears, thank god your voice was still stable. “I want you back, I want my best friend back, my partner, my favourite person.”

“I'm your favourite person?” He was taken back and in shock, he always thought Haechan was your favourite person, your twin, your other half, your sun. 

“You’ve always been.” A tear streamed down your cheek but you were quick to wipe it. “I need you Jisung, I miss you like crazy, I want to be with you and be able to talk the way we used to. You have no idea how much I need you to hug me.” And finally your voice failed you. Jisung’s heart sank by hearing your voice break. 

“Me too, you can't even begin to imagine.” He blinked rapidly trying to avoid the tears to escape his eyes. 

“How did we let this happen?” 

“I don't know.” 

“We promised nothing was gonna change after me leaving.” 

“I know.” 

“Then why is everything different?” 

“Because…” He wanted to tell you, he wanted to confess but the words got stuck once again. He didn't want to do it like that, during a phone call while you were kilometres away. “We're dumb?” Your laughter made the ambience lighter. 

“Yes, we’re very, very dumb.” You wiped a few tears away and cleared your throat. “Let's start being smart again.”

“How?” 

“We’re gonna try talking more, send a text once in a while, whenever we remember each other, like we used to.”

“Okay.” 

“We could also do homework together, we could schedule a weekly video call so we can catch up, talk about our life or not talk at all.” 

“I really miss you recommending songs to me,” he confessed. 

“I really miss you sending me pics of the moon.” You laughed once again, making the younger one sigh heavily, he was completely enamoured by you. 

“I missed your laugh.” It was a bold move from him but he felt he was gonna explode if he didn't say it. 

Your cheeks were warm and you hid them with your hands even though he wasn't there. He made you feel shy, which was very rare. 

“I missed your voice, is it getting deeper?” 

“I don't think so.” 

“It better not or else I'll lose my mind.” 

“Why?” he asked curiously. 

“Well you know how much of a sucker I am for a dude with a deep voice…” The verbal vomit came out by itself, you weren't aware of what you were saying until you heard nothing from the other line. “Damn, I fucked up,” you whispered but he heard you. 

“No, no, it's okay, I knew that.” He cleared his throat in an attempt to calm his nervousness. “I'm sorry but it's something I can't control, you’ll just have to deal with it.” His mocking tone filled you with relief. 

“I’ll try my best, but I don't make any promises.” You followed his joke up, thanking him for not making it weird again. 

“I'm here,” he announced when he arrived at his school’s entrance. 

“Good luck Sungie, remember that anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.” 

“Thank you.” He smiled and looked down trying to hide his blush. 

“Let me know when you're done so we can talk on your way back home, okay?” 

“Yes, ma'am.” 

“I mean it, Jisung.” The seriousness in your tone gave you away. 

“I know.” He let out a few giggles. “Thank you for calling me.” 

“Well, you know how I am, I love our little traditions.” 

“I love that you do.” 

“Bye Sung, good luck.” 

“Bye y/n.” And after that you hung up. 

He felt a weight being lifted away from his shoulders, his heart felt lighter and he was beyond happy knowing that you two were going to be okay. It may not be exactly like it used to but it was better than nothing. 

He was 19 years old when he confessed his love towards you. 

After that call on his first day of university, your relationship started blooming again. You both kept your promises and started texting and calling each other more and more, just like the old times. You made several video calls where you would talk for hours, from dusk till dawn or you would stay quiet and just enjoyed each other's presence. Jisung always sent you pictures of the moon and you started sending him songs that you thought he would like, you even started making him several playlists; he always listened to them on repeat. 

Winter break came and you were finally able to go back home, you noticed how much you loaded yourself with work to avoid the whole Jisung situation but since you two were fine now, you gave yourself a break. Everyone was head over heels when you told them you were coming back home after a while of not being able to. You longed to spend christmas and new years with your family but especially with Jisung, since this was the year he would finally reach age, he would be able to drink and you wanted to be there. 

Your parents picked you up at the airport, both ran towards you and engulfed you in a big hug, a suffocating one actually. After a very emotional welcome from them, you finally went up to the car and made your way home. Haechan received you at the door and your father announced to you that Jisung was also there, your eyes lighted up and you were quickly to look for him, only to find him standing there waiting for you. You were surprised by looking at how much he grew, and when he spoke you felt your legs wobbling slightly by hearing his deep voice. You engulfed him in a hug and then you dragged him and your brother towards the living room to catch up. It was very late at night when Jisung had to return home, in all the time he was there you couldn’t stop looking at him, you were hypnotised. 

Christmas passed by and it was one of the best you had celebrated. Your family and Jisung’s always celebrated it together, the dinner was made by your mom and Jisung’s mom while your fathers were in charge of the drinks. As always everything was wholesome and you had the best time ever. 

Time passed by and new years came by, Yeji invited you to a party but you didn’t stay much since you wanted to be with Jisung on his first night as an adult, sadly when you arrived he was already drunk thanks to you brother and his friends. He took you out to the backyard and he confessed his feelings for you in his drunken state, taking you by surprise. Even though you weren’t sure about your own feelings you told him that you can figure them out together and then you kissed him properly this time. You weren’t sure why you did it but you didn’t regret it. It felt nice, it felt familiar and it made you feel warm. It was the best way to start the new year. 

After that night Jisung made his life mission to help you figure out what your heart wanted. He was finally able to act according to his feelings, he didn’t hold back and made sure to prove to you that he meant every single thing he said during that new years night. He spent months clearing all of your doubts, answering all of your questions and giving you the assurance you needed. After all his efforts, support and patience you realised that you wanted Jisung, you realised that your heart longed for him. 

During summer break he picked you up at the airport and asked you to be his girlfriend and you accepted gladly; you sealed the deal with a kiss full of affection, it was desperate in a way, you have yearned to feel his lips on yours once again. After that day you spend your summer by Jisung’s side, it was as if you were glued together. Wherever you went Jisung was following and vice versa. 

Two months have passed, your break is almost over, meaning that you would have to go back to school very soon. Jisung, knowing this, never left your side. He wanted to spend every single moment you had left home with you. 

“The summer went by so fast,” he said in a whisper while you were at the kitchen making a midnight snack; actually he was sitting while you were the one cooking, not letting him get near the kitchen since he would probably light it on fire. 

“I know,” you said while dicing some veggies for your ramen. “For the first time, I'm not as excited to go back.” 

“For the first time?” he asked confusedly while he stared at you. 

“Yeah, I don't love leaving home but I'm always really excited to go back, living on my own and having independence, you know?” He just nodded, not knowing exactly what to answer. “I know it may sound a little selfish but I always loved going back but now, it's so different.”

“Why?” 

“Because of you.” You both felt your cheeks warming up for the sudden confession. “I’m always excited to come back here and see my family, see Hyuck and my friends but ever since you confessed during new years I couldn't stop thinking about coming back home and seeing you.” Jisung stood up silently so he wouldn't interrupt you. “I wanted to hang out with you, spend time with you, see your cute face everyday, I was desperate to be with you.” You smiled while feeling his arms sneak around your waist, and you let out a soft giggle while feeling his face burning in your neck. “I yearned for you so fucking much.” He left a soft kiss on your neck, then your shoulder and your neck once again, he was drowning in your scent. 

“God, I fucking love you.” It was a whisper. It was innocent and said out of instinct, he didn't even realise what he just said until you left his side. 

“What!?” 

“Nothing.” He was ready to leave but your hand on his wrist stopped him. You made him face you.

“That was not nothing.” He didn't dare to look at you. “What did you just say Park Jisung?” Your tone was demanding and serious, not in an aggressive way but you wanted an answer. 

After a long pause he finally got the courage he needed to say those words again. 

“I said that I love you.” His voice was barely a whisper but because you were alone, you were able to hear him clearly. “You don't have to say anything, I know it's way too soon to say stuff like this since we've been in a relationship for just 2 months but I have loved you since before.” Because he's looking down he didn't realise you're coming closer to him. “I'm sorry if it freaked you out and I totally understand if you want to take some time apart, to be honest, I wouldn't blame you.” He let out a soft giggle which was full of embarrassment. “I'll just go…”

You stopped him once again and he finally looked up at you. You cupped his face with your hands and you kissed him.

You kissed him softly, slowly and it's intense because of the intimacy that you were sharing in that moment—you both felt like you were the only ones in the world and that time has stopped just for you. You feel like the moon and the stars are witnessing the scene with such endearment and they look down at you with the happiest of their smiles. You savoured him, you made sure to transmit all of your feelings with that kiss, you wanted him to feel safe, at ease, at home. You wanted him to feel like the only reason he was put on earth was for that moment alone, that he was meant to be by your side, just like you were meant to be by his. You engulfed him in your arms just like he did, you wanted him closer even though you couldn't be. You were desperate for him, and your heart felt like it was going to explode from all the love that you feel for this boy. 

You broke the kiss but you were still in his embrace and he was in yours; your foreheads were touching, both of you had your eyes closed, feeling each other's breaths in your faces, but neither of you seemed to mind. 

“I love you too,” your tone was sure and confident. You then opened your eyes to see his reaction. 

His eyes lit up and his smile was the biggest you have ever seen and if your vision isn't failing you, you think his eyes were watering. 

“Really?” His voice was soft, and it broke a little because of the knot in his throat. 

“Really.” You could see a little tear running down and you were quick to wipe it off with your thumb. 

“Shit, sorry.” He let out a nervous giggle while he wiped yet another tear. “I'm just really fucking happy.” You couldn't help but start tearing up as well. “No wait, don't cry.” He panicked and then cupped your cheeks in between his big hands. They were cold compared to your very warm face. 

“I can't help it, you know how I always cry whenever you do.” You sniffled and he laughed at you. You looked so adorable trying to hold in your tears. 

He wiped your tears with such delicacy, he then proceeded to put your hair behind your ears and then he left a soft kiss on your forehead so he could finally hug you; you buried your face in his chest and he rested his chin on the top of your head. 

“Just like when we were kids,” you let out and he laughed once again. 

“Just like when we were kids,” he repeated, voice full of adoration. 

Jisung has never been great with words but he somehow knew what to do to comfort you whenever you cried in front of him (which was very, very rare). He always started by wiping your tears away, he always did it in the softest way possible, as if you were made of glass; his fingers always felt cold against your skin but you never minded. He then helped you get your hair fixed, placing the stray strands where they belonged and then tugging some behind your ears to finally leave a little kiss on your forehead. He knew all of that was good but it wasn't enough so he would seal the deal with a hug. A hug that always felt so soft and warm, a hug that always felt familiar and comfortable, a hug that made you feel you belonged with him. You fitted in his embrace perfectly just like he fitted in yours. 

You were meant to be together. It was a bumpy ride, with its highs and lows but you were meant to be. Everyone knew it, even the moon who would always watch over you two, waiting patiently. Even the stars, who would always light up your path so you could find your way to each other.  

You stay like that for a while, enjoying the domestic moment, not wanting to let go until you hear the pot overflowing. 

“Shit, our food!” You broke the hug and turned to the stove.

You put the pot out of the fire and you turn the flame off. The food was ruined and the kitchen was a mess. 

“Man, and you said I was a terrible cook,” Jisung said with a mocking tone. 

“Oh, shut up,” you said annoyedly while you try to clean up your mess. “This is all your fault.” 

“My fault?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes! If you weren't being all romantic and sentimental our ramen wouldn't have died like this.”  

“I'm sorry for saying that I love my girlfriend, it won't happen again.” 

“Wait no, I want to hear it again.” You panicked by hearing him. “I want to hear it a million times.” 

“Oh good, because I was joking,” he said while helping you clean. “Now that I've said it, now that is finally out of my system, it's the only thing that I want to say to you.” 

“Good because it's the only thing that I want to hear.” 

You finished cleaning up and you're quick to put your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You left a kiss on his lips and started preparing the food again. 

After finishing cooking and eating together you cleaned everything once again to finally go back to your room and get some sleep. You wiggled your way back to your bed, got into position and waited for Jisung to lay down so you could finally get 100% comfortable. After waiting patiently for you, he then plopped down next to you, he pulled you closer and he buried his face in the space between your neck, he loved getting drunk in your scent. 

After getting into a position where the two of you were comfortable you were quick to fall asleep, you didn't even notice you forgot to close your window´s curtains, you were gonna regret that in the morning. 

The night sky was clear, the moonlight sneaked in your room giving you two the perfect glow. The moon smiled by seeing you together, she was proud to see you could finally find your way to each other. The stars were beaming even harder, they couldn't hide their happiness. They worked so hard for you and seeing you together made them shine even brighter, they were glowing. 

#jisung #park jisung #jisung fluff #jisung angst #jisung fic #nct #nct dream #nct u #nct 2021 #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct u fluff #nct 2021 fluff #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct u angst #nct 2021 angst #nct fic #nct dream fic #nct u fic #nct 2021 fic #jisung au #nct au #nct dream au #nct u au #nct 2021 au #non idol! jisung #non idol jisung #friends to lovers #f2l

[ljxlj48]

[20:35] “I can’t,” you said in a shaky voice, tears rolling down your cheeks. You took the knife to your own heart, twisting it further. “I want to, but I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered, you had never felt so ashamed of yourself before tonight.

“I’ll quit and you’ll never have to do this anymore,” Taeyong said, standing on the opposite side of the hotel room, facing you. As tears rolled down his own cheeks.

You shook your head, “no, this is your dream.” You looked away, not being able to handle seeing Taeyong in so much pain like this.

“Y/n, please, you’re more important to me than the boys t-…”

“Stop,” you cut Taeyong off. If you let him say anymore, you wouldn’t leave tonight. “Don’t, don’t say that, you know it’s not true.” You pulled off the necklace Taeyong had gifted you for your one year anniversary, “I’m sorry.” You dropped the necklace into Taeyong’s palm before walking out of the hotel room, bag in hand.

You hated that you weren’t strong enough to endure this. When Taeyong invited you on tour with him, you thought it would be great. It would be an amazing way to spend time together. You had racked up enough vacation days to be gone for a whole month. However after the first week of being on tour, you realized this wasn’t gonna be as great as you thought.

Nevertheless you pushed on. You went to all his concerts, you seen amazing sites, you ate amazing food. Then there was the pictures, the rumors, the online abuse, the mental toll. A saesang had found out what floor Taeyong was staying on, and took a picture of the two of you returning to the room. From there the amount of hate you got online was overbearing, and then anytime you went to an NCT event, you got more hate.

The final straw was when you were staying in the hotel room alone, because you didn’t want to go out anymore, and a saesang broke into the room. You finally had it, you were done. You couldn’t handle it anymore and you hated yourself even more for not being able to handle it. You hated that Taeyong was willing to give it all up for you, but you couldn't handle it long enough for him.

#kpop #smtown #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct 2021 #nct 2022 #nct 2023 #nct taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong fanfic #taeyong imagines #taeyong angst #taeyong fluff #taeyong scenarios #taeyong x reader #taeyong timestamps #nct imagines #nct reactions #nct series #nct scenarios #taeyong

[luvholicz]

═══ 10:49 p.m

or alternatively, the material girlification of park jisung.

pairing. nct dream's park jisung x gn! reader

genre + wc. best friends who like each other, pining, fluff + 0.8k

warnings. jisung refers to reader as 'dude' once but no pronouns are used!

"madonna was right. i am just a material girl." jisung sighs as he plops down on your mattress. piles of homework lay on the foot of your bed, forgotten the moment you decided to have a 5 minute break almost thirty minutes ago.

"yeah, she was right about you being like a virgin too." you comment snidely from the bathroom. jisung doesn't know what you've been doing in there for the past 10 minutes, but he can't bring himself to care. not when he could be nuzzling his face into your sheets that feel like clouds and smell Just like you. (it's like drowning in a sea of you, he muses)

"dude!" he groans into your blankets. "you've been hanging out with chenle too much."

when you finally emerge from the bathroom, you're wearing a sheet mask on your face. jisung flinches when you throw him his own sheet mask, although it's still in its packaging. it's supposed to be moisturizing and rejuvinating, made with pearl extract.

jisung grimaces when it squelches beneath his fingertips as he places the mask on his face. you plop into bed next to him, loose papers crinkling underneath your body. he wonders if he should pretend to care that your thigh is potentially squishing his research paper.

it's quiet for a few moments before you let out a sigh. jisung ignores you, closing his eyes and listening to some of britney spears' greatest hits that are playing on shuffle in the background, but you just sigh louder and louder until he can't take it anymore.

"what?"

"can you believe it's our last year of high school?"

"kind of. i've been hoping for high school to end ever since it started." the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling have been there since middle school. jisung remembers helping you stick them on and then getting in trouble because you hadn't told your mom that you'd be doing that. (he also remembers you pinning the blame on him)

"that's just 'cause you're a loser. but seriously! high school is supposed to be full of parties and jumping into pools fully clothed and making out in the backseat of a jock's car. i hope college is more fun."

jisung hums. "okay, but do you really want to make out in some greasy jock's car?"

you puff your cheeks out, obviously flustered. "well, no, but it's just an idea."

jisung can't help the laugh that escapes. "don't laugh at me! i bet you've never even had your first kiss." you say indignantly.

jisung turns to glare at you. "why do you wanna know?" he's only teasing, but there's a pleased feeling that settles in his chest at the sight of how taken aback you are.

"nevermind. you're such a jackass."

a chuckle bubbles past his lips and fizzles out into a sigh.

jisung remembers his first kiss vividly. it only happened a few months ago, after all. he remembers being at the park with some classmate he hardly knew, making small talk and before he knew it, their lips were on his. he remembers how his hands fumbled awkwardly at his sides, how cold out it was that day, and how this person was nothing like you.

maybe it was wrong to compare them with you, because you knew that jisung hated small talk and cold weather. and maybe it was unfair because you smelled like vanilla and marshmallows and this person's perfume was too harsh and citrusy for jisung's nose. and maybe it was wrong to wonder what it felt like to kiss you while he was kissing them.

"i have." jisung says so softly that he's not sure you can hear him, so he repeats himself, louder this time. "i have."

"oh." you're facing away from jisung so he can't see your face. he can only see the curve of your cheek as you turn slightly to acknowledge him.

"but it wasn't that good or anything." he doesn't know why he's telling you this. "they made small talk and it was cold out."

the apples of your cheeks lift when you smile, but you say nothing.

"so i wouldn't really count it as a first kiss. i don't know. i'd like to pretend it never happened." the words come out like word vomit. before jisung can stop himself, he blurts out

"have you ever had your first kiss?"

"i haven't."

"oh." jisung peels the sheet mask off his face and folds it in his palm. maybe it's because it's past midnight and he only got 4 hours of sleep last night, but he isn't thinking staight. or maybe it's because he's a hormonal teenager alone in a room with his bestest friend who he coincidentally has feelings for, but he can't help the words that spill from his lips.

"do you wanna try it with me?"

#phew can u tell this was inspired by the early 2000s + turning red #nct dream #nct #nct dream x reader #park jisung x reader #jisung x reader #nct x reader #nct 2021 #park jisung #nct jisung #nct drabes #nct headcanons #nct fluff #jisung fluff #jisung drabble #nct dream fluff #nct dream drabbles #ー writing 💭

[sweetiesicheng]

jeno - “la la love”

word count : 526

-

"what's with the frown?" jeno asked you, peering over to look at your face. "turn that frown upside down!" he exclaimed before poking your cheeks to make you smile, but you were reluctant, "baby, what's wrong?" he asked in a worried tone.

"tired," you quietly replied as you continued working on homework.

"oh, you closed the store last night, right?" he asked you softly, knowing that your workplace closes late. you nodded your head.

then, you felt a hand on your head, and your head was moved until it was met with jeno's shoulder.

"i want coffee," you mentioned as you scribbled down an answer to your math homework. "can you make me some?"

"caffeine plus you at almost five in the afternoon?" jeno questioned. you looked up at him with a pout. then, he kissed you, "all the things you make me do," he said with a chuckle and kissed your forehead, "you got it."

he got up from the couch and went into the kitchen. you heard the sound of the coffee machine and soon started to smell coffee throughout his house.

you continued doing homework, and jeno returned a few minutes later after making your coffee how you like it.

"one y/n special for my pretty girl," he spoke and handed you a coffee mug.

"thank you," you replied and moved your school stuff out of your lap and onto the coffee table in front of you. you sat back with the mug in your hands.

jeno sat back down next to you and wrapped his arm over your shoulders. "hey, next time you have to close the store late, let me know. i don't want you to be alone that late," he said to you out of concern. you took a sip of coffee as you listened to him, "and if it's ever that late, you could just spend the night here since the store is a lot closer to here than your place. you know my parents won't mind."

"i would just be a bother to you, babe," you said to him.

he shook his head at you, "you wouldn't bother me at all, baby. i need you to rely on me sometimes. it's okay if you're too tired to drive, or if you're too scared to walk home by yourself. i want you to be able to have me help you whenever you need it.”

you put the coffee mug on the table in front of you and hugged jeno tightly.

"thank you," you said to him.

"no need to thank me," he said before pulling you to straddle his lap. he hugged you and kissed you a few times.

"you know, you light up my life," you mentioned, "you always make everything better," you said while hugging him.

"that's my job," he said and you pulled away a little to see his face better. he had a big smile on his face, causing you to smile at him. "wanna go to my room and relax for a bit?" he asked.

you nodded, "yea.”

"okay, then let's go," he said and easily stood up with you in his arms.

#sweetiesicheng #sweetiesicheng nct #nct u #nct 2018 #nct 2020 #nct 2021 #nct dream #jeno #lee jeno #nct jeno #nct dream jeno #jeno x reader #jeno fluff #jeno x y/n #jeno x you #nct x you #nct x y/n #nct x reader #kpop

[zonezzone]

10.10 p.m.

@aehyei sorry but i wrote this. hope your sanity to be okay after reading this <3

"Jaem- I ca-can't bre-".

Did you think that the heated kisses session you had before the runway was everything?

After that intense lip caressing you received, you immediately knew that it was a huge no. But let's be honest, you couldn't complain about it.

You and celine model!jaemin ran towards his motorcycle to go at light speed to his home and continue what you two left unfinished. And the waiting was worth it.

When he opened the door of the apartment he quickly pinned you against the wall and kissed you with uncommon desperation while closing the gate again to let nothing or nobody bother the situation. His lips were insanely soft and addictive. Oh, and let's not forget about their flavor. It was exquisite.

Lucky you to put on them a flavored chapstick.

You both touched, bit, and caressed every part of each other's lips and even though visiting every space of them, it was impossible to get enough. You really took seriously that kissing session as it was your high school's math class of the last semester.

The difference is that there wasn't anything to calculate. Here, you both let reason go to hell. And it was sublime.

#nct dream #nct 127 #wayv #nct 2021 #nct fluff #nct angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #na jaemin fluff #na jaemin angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct drabbles #nct timestamps #jaemin scenarios #jaemin drabbles #ficscafe

[pipsqueak1507]

유타 귀엽다 💚💛

#nct mark #nct 127 #nct icons #nct scenarios #yuta nakamoto #nct dream #nct u #yuta angst #nct yuta #nakamoto yuta #yuta #yuta icons #yuta fluff #nct taeyong #nct gifs #nct #nct 2021 #nct bbl #nct haechan #nct universe #nctinc #nctzen #lee taeyong #lee donghyuck #lee jeno #ten lee #mark lee #nct winwin #winwin x yuta

[music-obsess]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUN

Than you for all that you’ve done for WayV. SM does not deserve you and I hope you guys have a very successful future. I wish to see you all happy and together I’m the near future.

Some of my favorite pictures of you. I love you and happy birthday you deserve the world.

#nct #nct u #sm entertainment #sm rookies #nct 2018 #nct 2020 #nct 2022 #nct 2021 #nct ot26 #nct kun #wayv #wayv kun #nct 2019 #kpop #nct vlive #nct smut #nct china #nct oneshot #nct fluff #nctzen

[butterflies-and-yuta]

Announcement

Hello everyone, I am not dead, just been dealing with school that I will not have to deal with until next year so yeah, now that I am back, what would you guys like for me to write about, I am open to any requests as long as they don't make me feel uncomfortable, the stuff I will write ranges from

Yandere.

Mafia. (Do not romanticise the real life ones)

Alternative universe (AU).

Crossover.

Darkfic.

Fix-it fic.

Hurt/comfort.

Self-insert.

Multicross self-insert.

Songfic.

Uberfic.

Vent.

Headcanon.

Coffee Shop AU/Barista AU.

Cyberpunk.

Crime AU.

BDSM AU.

College AU/Highschool AU.

Noir Detective AU.

Mundane AU.

Pornstar AU.

Punk AU.

Rentboy AU or Hooker AU.

Spy, Secret Agent, Assassin, or Hitman AU.

Curtainfic.

Gen Bed Sharing.

Forced Bed Sharing.

Gen Bathing.

Marriage.

Forced Marriage.

Kidfic.

Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple.

Weddingfic.

Accidental Marriage.

Arranged Marriage.

Casefic

Crossover

Harlequin

Holidayfic

Hookerfic

Hurt/Comfort

Sickfic

Incest

Twincest

Interspecies

Forced Proximity

Cave Story

Desert Island

Canadian Shack

Snowed In

Elevatorfic

Amnesia

Character Death

Deathfic

Crossdressing

Didn't Know They Were Dating

Disability Fic

Dominance Hierarchy

Dub-con

Fever Dream

First Time

Hatesex/Enemyslash

Huddling for Warmth

In Vino Veritas (trope) (Confessions -- of love or lust -- Under The Influence)

Kink

Knotting

Let Me Be Weak, Let Me Sleep

Mates (trope)

Mind control or Brainwashing

Mission Sex

Pair the Spare

Pining

Pregnancy

Presumed Dead

Pretend Couple (including Pretending to be Married, Marriage of Convenience, etc.)

Fake Dating

Robots

Heat fic

Mating

Sex Pollen

Sex Magic

Secret Siblings, especially Evil Twins

Skin hunger

Soulbond

Virgin!fic

Secret Virgin

Yenta.

Childhood Sweethearts

Enemies to Lovers

Enemies to Friends to Lovers

Friends to Lovers

Hallmark AU

In which they are exes thrown back together by a chance visit to their hometown (usually for a holiday).

Mutual Pining

Oblivious Pining

Requited Unrequited.

Angst.

Smut.

Fluff.

Full stories.

One-shots

Reacts.

Imagines.

And as for the groups or soloists, I might just stick to NCT before going into other groups, so if you guys actually might like me exploring other groups or soloists, or even actors then just leave a request either down below in the notes section or even ask me or DM me a story you would like me to write. But until then yeah, the ones that are written down are the things I will consider writing about, but I will also do other stories as well that weren't requested and are actually from me or even ones I made with another author if I can do that, but until then, this is what I'll be working with, so yeah, like I said before, make a request either through the comment section on this post, or just ask me or DM me, and then I will randomly pick a request to write about.

And I will see you all on the other side once I'm done

#nct 127 #nct 127 scenarios #nct angst #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct scenarios #wayv fanfic #wayv smut #wayv #nct drabbles #nct u #nct 127 hard hours #nct au #nct 127 smut #nct 2021 #nct fic #nct imagine #nct yandere #nct reactions #nct x reader

[poorcelaine]

(preview) super fake love song - l.dh

info: psd creds: @springdoy pairing: guitarist!haechan x leadsingerfem!reader genres: enemies-to-lovers, bandau!, fluff, angst, miscommunication inspired by David Yoon's novel of the same name! synopsis: broke college students and longtime rivals, y/n and haechan team up to create "the best band ever" in hopes of winning the grand prize. warnings: languages word count: TBD (but so far 650) a/n: a preview of my first ever fic! kfgjsflhgds preview under the cut!

Call it faith or destiny. Call it kismet or karma.  

It seems as if for every wrongdoing, every time you teased your sister relentlessly, lied to your parents about where you were going out, and behaved recklessly, God has granted you swift retribution in the form of Lee Haechan. He was a constant in your childhood in the same way skinned knees, growing pains, and rainy days were. Armed with nothing but charming dimples and a big mouth, he proudly babbled your latest mishaps to your parents. 

It was terrible. You wanted nothing to do with him, yet somehow you were stuck with him, from middle school all the way through high school. And just when you thought you got rid of him, lo and behold, Lee Haechan’s name appeared right underneath yours on the roster for Neo Culture Univesity’s Freshman Orientation.  

“You’re like an itchy pimple (name)” he told you back then, “dry and hard to get rid of.”

“If I’m the itchy pimple then you’re the germ-infested finger” you retorted. “You just can’t stay away from me.” 

Ok you weren’t the best at comebacks.

Luckily, the campus was almost big enough to avoid Haechan, and aside from minor spats here and there, you did just that. But two months into the second semester of your freshmen year, the spell was broken with Haechan willingly knocking on your dorm (how did he even know where it was? you later wondered) with a ridiculous plea on his lips. 

“Start a band with me.”

You blinked once, twice, dumbly staring at the boy standing in the hallway, and promptly shut the door on his face. 

Immediately the banging started. 

 “At least hear me out!” Haechan hollered while pounding on the door. “This is a perfect opportunity for the both of us!” 

“Shut it Haechan!” You yelled from the other side of the door. “I’m not in the mood for your ridiculous jokes.”

The pounding suddenly stopped and you heard the distinct sound of some kind of paper being pushed across the door. You grabbed the red flier Haechan pushed underneath, ready to tear it apart into shreds but a certain word caught your eye and you gasped. 

On the other side of the door, Haechan smirked. He was certain he got you right where he wanted. 

“That’s a lot of money, isn’t it (name)?” Haechan said in a low voice. “Enough to finally stop eating that shitty cardboard ramen. Enough to go ahead and finally purchase a normal car.”

Haechan’s rambling went through one ear and out the other. Your eyes were glued to the bright red flier advertising Neo U’s annual Battle of the Bands with a grand prize of 5,000 dollars! A quarter of that money alone could do so many things; pay off the overwhelming amount of tuition money that wasn’t covered by scholarships, buy your plane tickets home, and yep, even help you buy a new car combined with your other savings.  

According to the flier, there was an audition round to even get into the competition and then three additional rounds with separate themes to determine the grand prize winner. Only six bands would be allowed in to partake in the competition which stretched across the entire semester. It would require a lot of effort to balance practice, school, and your part-time job, not to mention the other factor that would also stress you out. 

“You dead? Hello?” said this other factor on the other side of your door. 

Was it really worth sacrificing your sanity and school-life careful balance you worked so hard for during your freshman year for the slim chance to win money? You only had about a minute to think about it. 

Man fuck capitalism. 

You quickly opened the door and almost had to catch a startled Haechan who was leaning against it. You handed him the flier. “Let’s do it Haechan.”

The boy smirked as he reached out and grabbed the flier, nimble fingers brushing against yours in the process. “Call me Hyuck. We’re business partners now.” 

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

RELEASE DATE: June 2022!

#i am kinda nervous #also english isn't my first language and I'm terrible with commas #please some give feedback #also i feel like no one will even read this lmaooo #why is tumblr formatting so hard #nct imagines #haechan fluff #haechan x reader #haechan scenarios #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct x reader #lee haechan #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #nct 2021 #nct haechan #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #nct u smut #haechan smut #lee donghyuck #donghyuck smut #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #nct u x reader #nct 127 imagines

[renjunphile]

if my wishes came true, it would have been you | mark lee

PAIRING ✧ nct's mark lee x female reader WORD COUNT ✧ 12.0k TAGS ✧ idol!mark x idol!reader, exes!au, exes to lovers!au, really quite angsty, happy ending, fluff, non-linear narrative

PLAYLIST aka SONGS BY YN ✧ the 1 by taylor swift ; 21 by gracie abrams ; i miss you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams ; champagne problems by taylor swift ; in between by gracie ambrams ; somebody by hwasa and loco ; i know it won't work by gracie abrams, dancing with our hands tied (acoustic) by taylor swift

SUMMARY ✧ persist and resist the temptation to ask if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? (alternatively, every single time you and mark get a chance to talk about your breakup, it never goes as planned)

-

MAY 2021

"NCT are here."

You hum along to the track blasting in your left ear through the singular airpod. It's the first day of your comeback promotions, and while you should feel confident from the many months you'd practiced the song every single day for multiple hours, no amount of time could ever erase the nerves you feel each comeback day.

You're already finished with your hair and makeup, being the first to sit in the chair to give your members some time to wake up from their naps in the van. Though you should all be bright, awake, and preppy for your comeback stage, the reality was that all of you were obliteratingly tired from the near all-nighter in the practice room. Your makeup artists are true magicians for the way they cover up all signs of tiredness even under all those harsh, bright stage lights.

"Unnie, did you hear me?" your youngest member Kali poked your arm incessantly.

"Kali, stop," you whine, pushing her finger away, "I heard you."

"So why didn't you react?"

"Why should I?" you sigh, pausing the track on your phone.

She pauses for a while, choosing to craft her words before replying too hastily, "We should still go and say hi. Haechan is asking if we wanna film a TikTok with them."

"You know they only post with SM idols," you remind her.

"You were in SM too. It's just for fun," she mumbles, "You know how many idols feature on Haechan's private account. Please come."

"You're up to no good, Kali," you squint at her suspiciously, watching the room carefully to see if anyone had overheard. It wasn't really a big deal; all your managers were well-informed, just like your members, and your stylists were basically your friends.

"I already talked to our manager and Haechan talked to their manager," Kali wrapped her fingers around your wrist delicately, but pulling to encourage you to stand up, "Let's go."

The walk to the hallway where the NCT members agreed to meet the two of you wasn't exactly a long one, but the rumblings of nerves bubbling in your stomach made it feel like a million years. You weren't stupid; you knew exactly what to expect and you wouldn't put it past your maknae to meddle in a time like this.

"Oh look, they're here already," Kali was biting a grin behind her words as 3 figures came into view. Haechan gives you a warm smile and a famous bear hug before he was shoved away. 

"Noona," you resist a pout as one of the boys you had been taking care of since you were younger wrapped you up in a big hug, "Haven't seen you in so long. Missed you."

"Missed you too Ji. You grow an inch every time I see you," you also resist the urge to ruffle up his perfectly styled purple hair out of fear of getting hunted by his hair stylist, "I like this purple on you."

He gives you an appreciative grin and somehow you still see him as the tiny, shy boy running energetically around the halls of the company building after being chased by his fellow trainees. Jisung moves on to greet your member, who was still in conversation with Haechan.

It's definitely not that you dread having to face Mark Lee. It's totally not the fact that he's your ex-boyfriend. Or the fact that you're still in love with him. Or the fact that he's still in love with you. No, none of that.

Totally.

"You look really pretty, Y/N," he begins slowly, taking in your appearance in front of him, having not seen each other for a few months.

Mark Lee stands in front of you stoic, hands by his side and feet together. It's almost like he's fighting his instinct to wrap you up in his arms like he's done most of his life because you sure know you're having to fight that instinct too.

"Thanks, Mark. I like your blue hair," you smile softly, "How are you?"

"I'm good. Amazing, even. I guess," he's mumbling, running his hands through said hair you just complimented and you can tell he's nervous, "I love the song. And the whole album. I can tell which songs you wrote. You always make me so proud."

Ouch. It stings your heart whenever he says things like that. How could you have let go of someone so sweet?

"Thanks. Congratulations on your first album and coming back with Dream."

"Ah, thanks. I fought so hard to come back to the group and I'm really happy they finally listened to me," he began, "You know how much I love them."

"Yeah, I know."

You're barely meeting his eyes, but when you do, it feels like he's hesitating in his words.

"Mark-"

"Happy birthday by the way," he rushes out, "For yesterday. I'm sorry that I didn't text. Or call."

"It's okay," you reassure him, knowing that that was probably easier for you both that he didn't.

"How did you spend your birthday?"

"The members got me cake. Coffee, my favourite," you recount, "I did a live for a bit, but other than that we were practicing all day for today."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That really sucks," he frowns.

"You know how it goes. I'll have more birthdays to celebrate anyway-"

"But you didn't celebrate last year either!" he protests.

"Maybe next year, then," you pull your lips into a tight smile, "It's okay Mark. Don't worry about it. I'm not really fond of my birthdays anymore and 22's not a big deal."

He sighs while looking at you, "You deserve to celebrate your birthday no matter what. I hope you can find some time to do something  for yourself."

You chuckle lightly, "That'll be hard to come by. I don't know how you've done it with multiple groups all these years, Mark. I've only been debuted for three years and it's never got any easier. You were really stretching yourself thin, huh?"

"I guess," he's playing with his fingers, so you know he has something to say.

"Just say it, Mark. Whatever you want to say."

You can read him like a book and you've always been able to. It's not your fault that the book is wide open, as compared to the way you've always been- shut, bound, and locked.

"I just wanted to say I miss you. That's all. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Thanks to the secluded hallway that Haechan had found and led you to, the coast was clear enough for you to close the distance between you and Mark even just by a bit more. His breath hitches as you place a hand on his arm.

"Thanks for caring, Mark. I miss you too."

He smiles at you softly and the two of you are so engrossed in each other to notice that Kali, Haechan and Jisung had disappeared a while ago. You know it's time for you to go back though.

The worst part of the whole situation wasn't the breakup itself. Of course, the breakup hurt both of you for a long time and you don't even think you're recovered. It did happen over a year ago, but that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part is knowing that every time you meet again, walking away hurts more each time. It's the fact that there's nothing you can do but listen to your heart break with each step you take away from each other. It's the fact that there's nothing you can do about the fact that you still love each other more than anything else in this world.

-

2014

Mark Lee was known to be SM's golden child. In the future, he'd be known as the most over-worked in the company, due to his talents and resilience, but now, he's just Mark Lee, second to you.

You'd done everything before Mark. You were born first. You moved to Korea first. You beat him joining the company by 6 months and you beat him getting announced as part of SM Rookies just by 7 days.

None of that mattered because it was always just you and him together, wherever. Sure, you trained and practiced separately, but lunchtimes, downtimes, company gatherings- it was always the two of you attached to the hip. There was really nothing the company could say- the two of you were barely 15 so what was the worst you could do?

"How long do you think it'll be before your debut?" the two of you are lying down on the grass in a park a few minutes away from the building. His hands are rifling through the blades, yanking them up every so often, while you made daisy chains quietly.

He hums in response, "I don't know. Soon I hope, but I've only been here for like just over a year. Realistically, I'd say like 2 years. Don't tell anyone I told you, but I heard Johnny hyung talking to the manager about some kind of project that the company has been thinking of for a while. Something about having a group with infinite members!"

Your eyes widened at the thought, "Wow, really? EXO debuted with 12 and I thought that was a lot!"

"Yeah, right? But there are only like 9 of us in SM Rookies right now. How many do you think they'll start with and how am I going to get lines in a song if there's so many of us?"

You nudge him, "Well, with your awesome talent and writing skills of course. I can't wait to see what ends up happening to you guys- oh yeah, by the way, how's that new trainee you guys are training with? Donghyuck, right?"

"New?" he sat up with wide eyes, twisting his body to look at you, "He's been here for like 5 months and it's been the worst 5 months of my life! He's just so infuriating. His voice is amazing, sure, but he never listens and is always talking and hanging off me! I told him that he makes me want to leave the company."

You laugh at his frustrated expression, "Ha, you'd never leave the company. You'd never leave me behind. Plus, I bet you'll be best friends in a few years. Opposites attract and all that."

"Hm, but you and I are quite similar. Don't you think?"

There were definitely some traits that you shared to both be enduring the same path. Resilient, hard-working, brave, and enduring were all ones. After all, it's a big leap of faith to train to have the chance to be an idol just at 12 or 13 with no guaranteed future.

When it came down to it though, you'd like to think that there were also traits you each had that weren't always necessarily opposites all the time, but traits that complemented each other.

Mark liked to talk; you liked to listen. Mark was optimistic and would always be the one to cheer you up on your particularly moody days. You were Mark's calm through it all. Mark loved to rap; you found your passion in singing. Mark liked carrots and would take them off your plate in the cafeteria and swap them with his peas. Mark's hands were calloused from his guitar-playing, while yours were smooth and soft when he held them.

"No, I think we're the perfect example of opposites attract."

"Well then that's why you're my best friend," he grinned over at you while you slid a daisy chain bracelet onto his wrists, "Forever and whenever."

"Always," you grinned.

-

AUGUST 2021

"What are you doing here?"

"No happy birthday Mark?" he teases, holding a bouquet of flowers and a grocery store plastic bag in his hands on your doorstep.

"Come in before anyone sees you," you pull him inside your dorm, sticking your head out the hallway to see if it was empty, "How did you get here?"

"Relax, Y/N. My manager drove me and I was in all this," he pulls out a mask and a beanie from his pocket to show you.

"Oh, good. Happy birthday, I guess, but what are you doing here?" you question him again, looking at the contents in his grasp.

"Well, it all started when Hyuck said that we were throwing a birthday party for me. Then Jisung invited Kali and obviously, you too. And your members, of course. Then you said you couldn't come because you're busy," his eyes dart to the episode of Modern Family on your TV and the blanket lazily thrown on the couch, combined with your pajamas, "So I didn't want to come to the party anymore."

"But all my members are at your dorm," you frown, "There's still a party?"

"Yeah, I guess. Gives Jisung an opportunity to spend more time with his crush, which I'm sure Kali appreciates."

"So they're hosting your birthday party," you hum, "Without you? And you came here to what? Check that I'm busy?"

"I know you're not busy. Erin told me so, which I suspected anyway. I know it's kind of rude for me to come to force you to spend time with me when you didn't even want to come to my birthday party in the first place, but I thought I would try." he shrugs, "Is that okay?"

Mark is adorned in a white T-shirt and grey joggers. He's clearly not dressed for a party and your member clearly told him that you're staying inside and moping to your comfort show while you try to avoid your ex-boyfriend on his birthday. Plan failed, you guess.

Here's the thing: you've always been the worst at saying no to Mark. The one time you did, the world crashed around you. You would've thought it would have got easier to say no to him after already experiencing the worst-case scenario, but looking into his slightly pleading chocolate eyes shows you otherwise.

"Of course, Mark. You're the birthday boy," you finally say after a period of silence where Mark felt like his heart was thumping out of his chest.

"There's no one else I'd rather spend my birthday with," he hums lightly, even though his words are loaded, "Here, a big bouquet for missing last year too."

The tradition started on his 15th birthday in 2014. Even though it was his birthday, he had got you a bouquet of flowers to thank you for being his best friend of one year and making him feel all the more comfortable in his first year in Korea. You were his dance partner, his classmate, his fellow English speaker, and his best friend. He got you flowers again the next year, then the year after, and again and again for being his partner through everything.

The last birthday you shared with Mark before the two of you broke up was his 20th birthday in 2019 and he had prepared his own bouquet that year, choosing all your favourite flowers and colours and wrapping it all up himself. Mark was selfless like that- thinking of other people even on his birthday.

"It's beautiful," you examine the flowers- pink and red camellias and carnations, white primroses, pink peonies, red roses and baby's breaths. Taking that flower language course with Mark back when you were both 17 comes as a regret now, with the messages he's sending you through the bouquet. You hope it's just a coincidence.

"Anyway, I brought us- or I made my manager buy us- some Oreo ice cream, peanut butter chocolate, some ramen, and chicken and mushroom pastries," he grins as he pulls each one out of the bag, "And I brought cake, obviously."

You hold yourself back from saying what you would say every time he presented your favourite pastry from your childhood home to you- 'you know the way to my heart'.

"I haven't had one in so long," you gasp, taking it from him and preparing your plate already, "Thanks Mark. Why are you so considerate on your own birthday?"

"I like to celebrate the people I love on my birthday too. I wouldn't be me without them," he plops himself on the bar stool at your breakfast bar while you sigh hopelessly. He'll never leave your heart alone, "I wanted to soften the blow too."

You turn to him slowly, "Soften the blow?"

He sees the panic in your eyes and lets out that melodious laugh you've always loved, "Oh, nothing like that. Nothing to tell you. I just wanted to bribe you to talk to me on my birthday. I thought after over a year you might be ready to talk?"

"About what?"

"Us."

You thank the manufacturers of the heavenly pastry slice that only takes 90 seconds in the microwave. You set the plate down in front of Mark and take the seat next to him.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Are you still my best friend?"

"Mark, come on," you began warily, knowing the difficult conversation you were about to have.

He meets your eyes and you feel the pain reflected in them, "When we decided to give our relationship a try when we were 16, we pinky swore that no matter what happens, we'll always be best friends. Always. Right?"

You find the power to break his gaze and stare down to your hands on your lap, "We did."

"So, why can't we go back to being friends? I know, I know when you broke up with me, you said that you don't think we could stay friends. I understood, of course, and I wanted to give you some space. Well, at least initially, but it's been over a year now and I really miss us. Your friendship meant everything to me even if I can't have you as my girlfriend." his tone is heartbreaking in the way that it's vulnerable and pleading.

"I told you when we broke up that breaking up was the hardest choice I'd ever have to make. It blew the choice to leave SM out of the water. I didn't want to break up, but it felt like I had no choice," you explained slowly, "When we first started dating, I knew I already loved you, but growing up together and debuting and going through everything I went through really taught me what real love in real life looked like and I could never have predicted at 16 how I felt for you at 20. Mark, you're everything to me, I hope you know. I said I didn't want to be friends when we broke up because how could I have lived with myself seeing you and talking to you still knowing I had you in the way that I did and knowing I loved you that intensely but not being able to show it anymore? How could I live with myself still having you around knowing I let go of the greatest thing that's ever happened to me?"

Mark Lee was brave at 16 when he kissed you for the first time and asked you to be his girlfriend against all the bans and rules. Mark Lee was brave at 18 watching you walk away from everything you both knew at SM Entertainment and for not running after you to stop you because you both knew it was for the best. Mark Lee was brave at 20 hearing you sob through the phone while you were halfway around the world because you just couldn't do this anymore. Mark Lee is brave at 22, taking your warm hands in his, and Mark Lee is brave when he lifts your chin up to meet his gaze and asks you this:

"Why can't we just get back together? This year apart is hurting us more than it's benefitting us."

People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul- that the eyes say everything someone can't say. Your eyes are filled with tears, yes, but also love and fear and all the emotions in between.

The problem was that your brain always rules your life, keeping your heart's true desires always suppressed deep within.

"Mark," you trail, before he cuts you off.

"I don't see the problem, Y/N. Both our companies knew we were dating and you're not a rookie in the industry anymore. I mean, we dated through your whole rookie era! I acknowledge everything you said and felt when we broke up and I wanted to give you time to work through those emotions, but I'm asking if anything has changed. Has it?"

"I've never stopped loving you, but I'm still scared Mark. I'm even more scared now as your career grows," you say quietly, "I don't want to hurt you. If anything gets out, it won't just hurt you or me, because I could take it if it only hurt me, but it's our members, Mark. You know how fans feel about idols who date and it's never ever as simple as 'if they're a true fan they'll be happy for me'. That's not how the industry works."

He squeezes your hands, "Then we'll get better at sneaking around! You know the boys love you so much and they know how much our relationship meant to me and they'd never ever get in the way of that. Or we can just text and call and I don't even have to see you in person when it's risky. I just want the chance to tell you that I still love you every single day as I promised."

There it is again, the sound of your heart breaking at the most loving boy on the planet.

"Will you let me think about it? At least about being your best friend still? I'm sorry that I can't give you an answer right now on your birthday," you murmur. The confessions from Mark came as no surprise, but he never fails to leave you speechless with no clear thoughts in your brain and your heart always full.

"I'm just asking for a chance. Just for anything you can give me," he smiles finally, "How about we eat all this and continue your Modern Family? It's still my favourite show, so I couldn't dream of a better way to spend my birthday."

"I'd like that."

-

2015

"I'm debuting," Mark barges into the near-empty practice room, huffing and panting like he just ran a marathon, "Y/N, oh my God!"

You're sat cross-legged on the floor with your phone propped up in front of you. Your eyebrows are stitched together tightly, indicating that you were probably either criticising yourself on a recording or trying to learn a choreography. The moment you realise that it's Mark, your whole body unclenches and you relax as you pause the video. You don't comprehend the weight of his words until he says them again.

"Y/N, Y/N, I'm going to debut!" he's practically screaming in joy as he belly slides towards you and crashes into you, wrapping his arms around you.

"Oh my God, Mark! Really? Tell me everything right now!" you squeeze him back, pride bursting in your chest.

When you both joined SM, you came with the obvious dream of being an idol entertainer. Sure, the company can make all these empty promises to you at the start, but with the way the industry works, nothing is really ever truly for certain. For you, the company had not given you any time scale or idea of what direction they wanted you to go in. You weren't even really that hopeful, considering the company just debuted Red Velvet one year ago, but you were still enduring.

However, it was almost time to debut a new boy group since it had been 3 years and counting since EXO broke into the scene. You were always certain that Mark was always a part of that plan.

"So, do you remember last year when I told you about the infinite boy group idea? It was true! The company gathered all the male trainees and showed them their idea- it's called NCT and it's so cool, trust me! So it's like they're going to debut groups within NCT like different members in each group!"

"Mark, that sounds amazing. Which group are you going to be in?"

"Uh, they said all of them?" Mark frowns in confusion, "Like the first is going to be this unit where members can switch out anytime and it only has a comeback whenever it wants to, and then the second one is like a normal permanent group which I think I'll be with Hyuck and the hyungs, and the third one is a group where we graduate once we hit 20! But I don't think that one's fully confirmed with members yet."

He's running out of breath explaining it to you and his eyes are going crazy so you just laugh and hug tighter, "That's a lot of information, but it still sounds amazing. See Mark, I told you that you're going to be the most important person in this building! You're literally the best."

Mark nudges you so that you break away, "Psh, shut up Y/N. It's still a few months out anyway. We're going to be writing and practicing the debut song for the first unit really soon though."

"And I'm so proud of you," you tell him sincerely, knowing that there are not many people who you can say have worked harder than Mark to achieve their dreams, "Do you feel scared at all?"

He swivels his body so that he's sitting in front of you and he starts playing with your fingers like he always does, "Naturally, I guess. Debuting is a whole new world and being an idol too, but this is what I've been working towards so why shouldn't I be more excited? I've been waiting for this day, but I guess it's human nature to have fear of the unknown."

"It's definitely not wrong to not be scared. I'd be over the moon if they finally tell me I'm going to debut," you sigh dreamily.

"And you will! They can't keep you hidden here any longer and you know that the company loves you so much! You've given everything for them so you deserve it all back," Mark is now rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, "I can't wait until we achieve our dream together. No matter how long it takes, we'll both be standing on that stage together as idols. It's so close now, Y/N."

You smile softly at the boy, ever the optimist, "I can't wait for it too, Mark. Don't let the fame get to your head so quickly and don't forget me when you're famous okay?"

"You're so silly," Mark laughs, "You'll always be my best friend- wait scratch that-"

"I won't always be your best friend?"

"No! You will! But this is literally the best day ever and I have all this adrenaline and energy right now and if I don't say it now, I don't think I ever will, but all I'm saying is that I've been by your side for nearly 3 years now and you're literally my other half and it's so goddamn obvious that I like you so much and I really want to be your boyfriend. Okay, exhale Mark."

Your eyes widen at his confession and you slide away from him in shock, "Wait, really? You like me? You want to be my boyfriend?"

He looks at you like you just grew two heads, "Y/N, that's literally exactly what I said. Do you like me back?"

Shyness begins to creep out of you while your whole face flushes red. You've never been the type to be shy around Mark, even in the times his words and actions make you feel giddy.

"Mhm, you're my first real crush that developed when we met. I thought I'd grow out of it, but it kept getting stronger the closer we got," you admit.

The first day that Mark Lee walked into the practice rooms and got introduced to the trainees, you thought he was the cutest boy in the world. He was dorky and shy at first, but when he performed in front of you, he turned into a completely different person that made you fall for him even more.

The two of you were the same age and he was your deskmate in Korean lessons. Though Mark had grown up speaking Korean, he had never lived in Korea speaking it almost 100% of the time, so the company thought it would be good for him to join your lessons, especially to get training for the language he would be using as an idol.

The two of you became very fast friends and by the end of the month, you were chasing each other in the cafeteria and sharing food in corners with your own inside jokes.

His face breaks out into a grin, tackling you into a hug, "Aw, my little Y/N likes me back!"

You roll your eyes playfully and shove him off your body, "First of all, I'm 3 months older than you, and second of all, you have been spending way too much time with Donghyuck."

"Yeah that little devil rubs off on people," he sighs, "Whatever. Does that mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

"Wait, wait, wait. We have to consider the implications! Especially if you're debuting soon! Are we going to tell the company? How is this going to work?" you bombard him with questions, playing your part as the realist in this friendship, "Is this a good idea."

"I mean, half the hyungs have secret girlfriends so we can ask them for help and at least it helps that you're in the company with me so if they do find out it's easier to protect the both of us," Mark replies, "I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this, believe it or not. You keep me up awake at night sometimes."

"You're so cheesy," you mumble, turning away to hide your blushing face, "But I guess I do want to be your girlfriend- but what if we break up? I don't want to lose you as my best friend!"

"How about this then," he extends his pinky out to you, "Let's pinky swear that even if we break up and this relationship goes horribly wrong, we'll be best friends still. Forever and whenever."

His words are dripping with sincerity and it surrounds you like a blanket. There's no one in this world that you trust more than Mark Lee when you entwine your own pink around his and smile at him, "Always."

Your pinkies are still attached a minute later when he's looking at you with a goofy smile.

You glare at him, "What's going on in that big head of yours?"

"If we're dating, then does that mean I can kiss you?"

The thought of kissing Mark had admittedly crossed your mind more than you could bare to say out loud. You wanted to play it off cool- shove him and roll your eyes or something, but truthfully, you really did want to kiss your dorky best friend Mark Lee.

"I mean, I guess," you shrug, "If you want to."

"Ha ha, I do," he starts leaning in closer and your heart is beating faster.

This was it. You were going to kiss your best friend-turned-boyfriend in the middle of a practice room. He was going to be your first kiss too!

Mark's face is so close that you can feel his breath on your lips. You can tell he's never done this before with how slowly and nervously he's advancing, but you can see the hope in his eyes.

Your eyes flutter shut. Your lips are almost touching, just ghosting over each others.

"Wait!" you groan as he opens his mouth, "If I'm your first real crush, then who's your first crush overall?"

You smirk, "Jongin-oppa. Duh."

-

2022

This was the biggest concert of your career. Playing the Olympic Stadium had always just been a distant daydream - something to dream about just to amuse you or occupy time. You'd never thought that you would actually live to see the day when that dream came to fruition.

It wasn't even a realistic dream. No girl groups had ever played their own concert at Jamsil Olympic Stadium, but your group was going to be the first.

Cameras were pointed all around you backstage as you prepared to go on for your opening.

"Leader, give us a pep talk," your bandmate Yana whines while nudging you. You gather in a circle, pretending you're not deafened by the noise of your fans screaming just past the partition, where they're waiting in anticipation.

The 5 of you lean closer, putting your heads together and your hands in the middle. Before that, you make sure to look at their faces carefully and examine each member's expressions.

Jian is a year older than you, but she's nervous as hell and can barely get any words out. You're not worried because she's proven time after time that she's born to be on stage and that she completely transforms in front of an audience showering her in love. Yana seems nervous too, but she's better at hiding it and it comes out through rambles of sometimes unintelligible speech. Erin is gripping her microphone tightly with a poker face, probably recalling all of her raps in her head quickly, even though you know it comes second nature to her. Your youngest, Kali, seems the most excited. That kid is the most fearless idol you've ever met and you're grateful for someone like her on the team.

As for you? Well, you're a mix of all of your members. It's coming up to a decade now since you started training and you still have to take everything that this career throws at you one by one. The feeling backstage is not exactly overwhelming- it's more pride and joy and excitement to be out there and perform the best concert you have to give.

"No one can ever take this away from us. We're the first freaking girl group to host a show here! We've worked so hard for this and we absolutely deserve it. Everyone out there is here for us, so we should give it our all and play the best show ever. Don't let your nerves get to you. Just relax and be the amazing and talented performers I know we all are," you breathe out, "I'm really thankful for you guys and I'm so happy to have you by my side with me for this. We're exactly where we should be. I really love you guys so much. Let's kill it, yeah? 3, 2, 1, Fighting!"

Your members release a chuckle and you all wrap your arms around each other in a group hug. Soon, your cues begin in your in-ear monitors and you break up to take your positions on the platform that will lift you up to the stage.

The concert starts off without a hitch. Everything is perfect and the energy you get as each song progresses is nothing like you've ever felt. The sea of fans is expansive and blinding and you still have to check you're not dreaming every few moments. You eventually settle into the stage and the concert slows down a bit with your solo performances.

Your company had encouraged you all to perform something of your own choosing and while you had a vast repertoire of songs tucked away on your GarageBand, they were mostly unfinished, too personal or waiting to be adapted to your group to go onto your future albums. The song had to be something that would only ever be just for you, but something you could bare to release into the world for everyone else to hear.

Okay, so maybe you let your emotions rule you and get the best of you. Maybe the song you chose was the wrong one to invite your fans to insert themselves into. Maybe it was too personal to sing a song about Mark Lee in front of the biggest crowd you'd ever played in your life, but when else could you?

The baby grand piano is gleaming in the centre of the stage and your blue dress is sparkling from the way the lights hit the crystals adorning the whole slip. You're admittedly more nervous about this, but you think it's more to do with the fact that you know Mark Lee is in the stadium, somewhere.

Your company had warned you that if you wanted to sing this song, you had to do a little speech before that would throw them off your scent, "Hi guys," you pause for their screams, "I know you guys enjoyed Kali's energetic dance and Jian's amazing original song! For my segment, I thought we could have a little chill time and not to dampen your spirits, but I wanted to show you guys this heartbreak track that I wrote after watching too many sad rom-coms. I really hope that none of you guys can relate and if anyone ever breaks your heart, just send them my way, okay? I hope you guys enjoy it. This is '21'."

You let out a deep breath and remind yourself that this was the right choice. Your fingers glide over the keys perfectly like it's muscle memory from the year you've been working on the song. You send a prayer to higher beings that Mark won't kill you as you begin the first lines.

"I missed your 21st birthday. I've been up at home; almost tried to call you, don't know if I should. Hate to picture you half-drunk, happy. Hate to think you went out without me. I'm sorry if you blame me, if I were you I would. Thought you'd see it coming, but you never could. I still haven't heard from your family, but you said your mom always loved me."

Mark celebrated your 21st birthday with you. Public dates were not a thing in your relationship, but this man made every effort to make the best out of your situation. He kicked out your members from your dorm after enlisting their help to decorate the place top to bottom in rose gold banners and balloons. After taking cooking lessons for weeks previously, he had then covered your dining table with expensive cloth and filled up two glasses with wine to go with the steak that he had perfectly cooked all for you. He then took you to the couch and serenaded you with a love song about how much you mean to him and how thankful he was for you. On top of all that, you had boxes and boxes of presents to unwrap that were all thoughtful, beautiful, or meaningful. Mark Lee was the perfect boyfriend.

For Mark's 21st birthday, you were sat cross-legged on your sofa with your phone placed on the table in front of you, face up. It was as if you were waiting for him to be the one to call when you were the one who broke his heart just a few weeks earlier and asked to not be friends.

You were drinking the wine that he poured for you on your birthday and you were half-drunk, punching in his number on your keypad, because even though you deleted his number, you already knew it off by heart. There was just something in you that refused to carry it through. You were a coward and Mark Lee celebrated his birthday without you for the first time in 7 years.

"I see the look in your eye and I'm biting my tongue. You were the love of my life since I was young. When the night is over, don't call me up I'm already under. I get a little bit alone sometimes and I miss you again. I'll be the love of your life inside your head. When the night is over, don't call me up I'm already under."

Later on that night, you're lying wide awake and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that you and Mark had decided to plaster all around your ceiling when you were bored one day. The crowd seemed to love the song thankfully and it was easy to get their energy back up. People placed meaning into everything idols did, so you weren't surprised at the people who were making guesses about your love life and the subject of the song. Whatever, they'd never get it right, anyway.

Your phone ringing cuts through the silence and you curse, hoping it won't wake up the other girls in the dorm. They're probably dead asleep from the high-energy concert anyway.

"You're still up?" his voice is grainy through the speaker.

"You're the one that called. Did you not want me to answer?" you quip back, "It's the adrenaline, I think."

"Touché. I was going to leave a voicemail, but this is better, I guess," Mark uttered, "The concert was amazing, by the way. I'm sorry we didn't come and say hello backstage, but we really enjoyed it."

"Thanks, Mark and thank the boys for me too, okay?" you instruct.

"Mhmm, of course," he replies, "That song you wrote was good, you know. But you might've as well called it 'Mark'."

You're laughing softly at his comment, "I should've changed the number, I know. But shut up- if you know it's for you, then why don't you follow my words? I said don't call me tonight."

"I've never been good at following rules when it comes to you," Mark sighs, "Plus, there's not a lot of times I can just call you up like this. At least I had something to say to you."

"You can always call if you want."

"Would you always answer?"

You pause to think, but Mark takes that as confirmation.

"Have you thought about what I said? 6 months ago when I asked if you wanted to be friends again? Or even get back together?"

"That question keeps me awake every night," you joke, "But today, when I was just looking out at the fans and greeting the idols that came backstage after the concert, it really made me think about how much I wanted to be doing all of this with you. I've always regretted what happened between us because it wasn't a choice I wanted to make. There are no words to describe the way that love manifests in front of you from the fans. I always find myself wishing you were still here by my side."

"Hm, cryptic. Is that an answer to my question or do I have to wait another 6 months to call you up and ask again?"

"How long are you going to keep asking?" you uttered, the feeling of disappointment taking over your body as you still couldn't find the courage to finally give in and allow yourself to be happy.

"Until you say yes again."

-

JULY 2020

The world was still shut as you knew it, yet you were halfway around the world from the place you grew to call home. Your company was generous to give you two months off to spend with your loved ones, and you chose to spend some time cooped up in your parents' house and your childhood home because even though there were so many quarantining requirements to get between the two countries, you hadn't seen your parents in almost 3 years.

Of course, you missed your members, but you lived with them and would continue to see them nearly every day for as long as you could keep your career going. Of course, you missed Mark, but it's not like you could go and see him anyway with the tough restrictions imposed on the Korean citizens.

There was also one big- scratch that- giant problem looming over your and your company's heads. The bane of your existence and public enemy number 1 Dispatch had dangled over your heads the threat of releasing the photos they had grabbed of you and Mark abroad in Vancouver at the start of the year. It wouldn't have been damning evidence considering it was the only photo set they had acquired of the two of you, but you were holding hands with your eyes clearly in view. 

Your companies had threatened to sue, of course, but Dispatch has never been scared. Then, your companies tried to play the guilt-trip card and interrogate them on why they would care to do such a thing when the world was suffering enough as it is. Alas, nothing got through to Dispatch. Eventually, your companies surrendered to pay a preposterous amount to get rid of the problem and it probably didn't even make a dent in SM's savings, but it surely hurt your growing but small company even if SM took the majority of the bill. 

It was completely eating you up and tearing your insides to know that because of your slip-up with Mark, the trainees in your company had to get their debut pushed back by a good probable few years.

Mark had been the perfect boyfriend, supporting you through your change to your new company and your short training period before your debut. Mark had been there to metaphorically hold your hand as you got to know the other girls and make lifelong sister bonds out of it. Mark had been there to cheer you on in the early mornings when you were doing your first few stages. Mark had been there when your first comeback did even better than your debut and propelled you to the top of the industry.

So why, oh why, were you thinking about whether being together is good for everyone involved? There you found yourself in a dark room, the phone next to your head as soft cries and hiccups escaped your lips.

"Baby, please tell me what's wrong. I hate when you cry and it's really hurting me that I'm not there with you right now. Do you want me to come there? Cause I will! I'll say I'm sick or something." he's rambling through the phone and you can hear that it's raining heavily in Seoul.

"Mark, you know that I love you right?"

"Of course I do," he coos gently, "And you're my once-in-a-lifetime great love. I love you too, baby. What's wrong?"

You don't even believe the words that come out of your mouth when you whisper them, "I can't do this anymore Mark. I think we need to break up."

"What? Y/N, this is not funny," his voice instantly turns serious.

"I'm sorry Mark, but I'm serious," you're sobbing at this point and you're surprised he can even still understand you, "I really don't want to do this but-"

"So why are you doing this? Look, let's just talk when you get back, okay? You're coming home soon, right? Or I can take a flight there, but baby, don't make these rash decisions- we're just missing each other."

"The guilt is eating me up, Mark," you confess in hushed tones, "I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. And every time I'm with you, I feel only this sense of anxiety about being caught together that I can't shake. I love you so much, Mark, but I don't know why I feel like this."

"Y/N, we've dealt with so much over the years and we've fought through everything together! We can work through this together, I promise. Just give me some time to think about what to do and everything will be okay-" he's crying now too and it breaks your heart to hear it because he barely ever cries, "I'll get the company to pay yours back what you paid to those assholes. Come on, baby."

"Mark," you whimper, "I ruined the company. I don't want to hurt my members either. Even if we admit to dating, imagine the hate that my group will face! I don't want to let them down any more than I already have."

"I'll tell the fans to not hate- Y/N just tell me what I can do to stop whatever this break-up idea in your head is. We're meant to be, Y/N. We're each other's perfect match."

"I don't love you any less, Mark. Please remember that. I need to do this for my members and for my company that took a leap of faith in me. I don't want to walk away from you, but I don't see any other choice. I don't want to hurt you or your members either. I can't be seen with you."

His voice is small and strained, "You're breaking my heart, Y/N."

"And I'm never going to forgive myself for it."

-

EARLY 2018

This was definitely the hardest decision of your life and it wasn't one that you took lightly either. It was something you had been thinking about for over a year and more intensely when the company started to press you on extending your exclusive training contract.

Herin Seo had entered SM just before you did and she lived and trained with you. She was your best friend outside of Mark and it broke your heart when she left the company only after 4 years in 2017. There were only a few months left on her contract, but she was desperate to get an out and an idol survival show finally gave her the motivation to break free.

Right now, she's taking the seat in front of you after setting down your favourite drinks from your favourite cafe that she still remembers, "Iced vanilla matcha latte for me and an iced oat latte for my best friend."

"You're the best Herin! My treat next time," you promise as you take the first sip. It's been a while since you've come to the café since it hurts to go when it used to be your spot with Herin.

"Well better be soon because I'm leaving in 5 days," she pouts, "I'm sorry I could only come to visit for a short time."

"It's okay. I'm glad to see you anyway after all these months," you grin, "How's settling back in Manchester?"

"I mean it's always been home but it took me a few months to really get to grips with the fact that I wasn't leaving after a week like I did when I would visit during my training. It's really weird to know England is now my permanent home and that I'm going to start school again there," she looks outside the large window that overlooks the river, "I really really miss Seoul."

You take her hand and muster your best comforting smile, "I'm really sorry that things didn't turn out how we wanted them to."

"Ha, it's not your fault Y/N. I mean, you're in the same boat; what are you planning to do with this contract thing?"

You sigh at the age-old question that's been plaguing your mind for months. In fact, your meeting with the company to decide your future was tomorrow and you still had no concrete idea of what you wanted, "I really don't know Herin. SM has been everything I've known for 5 years and everyone I love is at the company. I don't even know how to switch agencies or what happens at other agencies. At the same time, I know they're planning for a group soon, but I have this feeling that I can't shake when I think about it. I look at Jimin and Minjeong and my sweet baby Yizhou and I don't think I'm what the company wants."

"But they've invested so much time and money into you!" Herin furrows her eyebrows, "Surely they're building a group around you, Yizhuo, Koeun, Lami, and Hina! We were a pre-debut team! They can't just disregard all of you guys, right?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," you're fiddling nervously with your hands, "They've been good to me, but they're a business at the end of the day. I'm so torn up and I was thinking you could help me. How did you know that you wanted to leave the company?"

She thinks for a while before answering your question, "Well the survival show was just the reason why I left before my contract was up, but I already knew that I wasn't going to stay on and re-sign. For me, it just felt like I had more to give, but the environment I was in wasn't letting me grow anymore. I felt like there was nothing more I could give to SM. Even though Idol School didn't work out for me, I was still glad that I went."

You nod along to her story, "I haven't told anyone about this Herin. Mark's been bugging me about my terms for re-signing my contract, so I don't think it's even fathomable for him for me to leave."

"It's about you, Y/N. This is your story, your career, and your decision. There are going to be a lot of people that are going to be hurt or angry, but they will never understand what you're going through. Especially not the people who already debuted," Herin advises, "Look, talk about it with Mark tonight, and don't leave it until after your meeting because that might hurt more, but if he really loved you and wanted what's best for you, he would trust in your decision."

"You're right Herin. Thanks for being there for me."

So, you called Mark later on that night to come over. You had cooked up a few dishes for you to share and asked your dorm mates if they could give you a few hours for some alone time. Telling Mark was definitely going to be hard, but you couldn't imagine the conversation with the girls, who were going to be the most hurt. You remember when Herin left- you weren't angry, but you were overwhelmingly sad about the thought of the girl you started your journey with not being there anymore. That was when you started to question if you should still be there too, but you were scared to instill this thought in your other younger trainees that maybe thought they still had a chance.

"Hi baby," Mark is beaming when you open the door to him. He quickly shuts the door behind him with his foot and wraps you up in a tight hug, making sure to plant a kiss on your lips and then all over your face, "I missed your gorgeous face so much- oh my God the apartment smells so good! What did you cook?"

"Just some beef and rice," you lead him over to the dining table with the food set out already.

"Oh my gosh, you're so amazing," Mark smooches your cheek affectionately and takes his seat on the table. You had lived at the dorm for your whole time at SM and along the way, Mark had chosen his own seat at your dining table for when you had dinners inside, which was almost every date you shared.

You start with small talk, letting him eat and enjoy his meal before you inevitably break a little bit of his precious heart. You hadn't seen Mark for a few days since he was busy with some schedules, so he tells you all about the boys and what they've been up to recently. They're working on the biggest project NCT has ever done so far- a full 18-member release- and it's going spectacularly well. The album itself was a few weeks out, but each unit had been dropping some songs along the way.

"Babe, the company is throwing a release party when the album drops in a few weeks! Isn't that so exciting? They actually asked us what food we want at the party so we're all going crazy. I think Hyuck asked for a fondue fountain, so I'm dying to see if they'll actually give that," he's chuckling, halfway through his plate, "Do you have any special requests?"

Okay, deep breath. Now's the time. It's all or nothing.

"Actually Mark, I invited you over to talk about something," you begin and the smile on his face drops at your warning tone, "Please don't be upset with me."

"Ah, what's wrong?" he's pouting and you have to look away to get the strength to say what you need to. If you looked in his eyes any longer, you would find some reason to convince you to stay just for him.

"My contract meeting is tomorrow," you gulp, "I'm going to leave the company, Mark."

The sound of his chair scraping against the floor makes you cringe, "What? Y/N, what? What do you mean you're leaving the company? Where are you going to go? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just made up my mind today, Mark. I'm sorry I didn't confide in you, but this was a decision I had to make for myself," tears are welling up along your lash line, "I spoke to Herin today and I realised that the only thing making me stay any longer was you."

"But you're so close to debut!" he's arguing pleadingly, crouching beside you and holding your hand, "Babe, I can't imagine this company without you."

"I'm not Mark. You know that I'm not any closer to debut than I was when I joined 5 years ago. You're indispensable to this company, but I'm really not," you expressed, "I don't want to leave and I love you, your boys, and my girls, but I think this is what's best for me."

"But where are you going to go?" Mark sniffles, "I love you so much Y/N, but what's going to happen to us?"

You shake your head at his insinuations, "No, Mark. Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to us and I'll make sure that whatever company I join will know about us and protect us. I hope you'll find it in you to forgive me for this."

He stands up and wraps his arms around you from above, "I'm sorry for reacting this way Y/N, but there's nothing for you to be sorry for. I trust you, okay? I love you and I want you to do what's best for you. I know I can't make decisions for you, but I'll try my best to support you however I can."

You look up at him with adoration dripping from your eyes, "I love you, Mark. We're going to be okay, yeah?"

He brings his head down and connects your lips in the most love-filled way that your heart explodes in that familiar overwhelming feeling that Mark always seems to do to you, "We're going to be okay, baby."

-

LATE 2022

The world was playing a sick joke on you- it really was. There was no way your whole career wasn't just some April Fools' prank or that you weren't just the main target of some joke show.

You always prided yourself on being close with the company's staff and higher-ups. As a leader of your group, you felt that it was integral to your success that you were able to communicate your wishes and worries to the company and this gave you more creative freedom too. Apparently, the company too was getting more comfortable with you.

"What did you just say?" your eyes were incredulous, peering towards your sheepish CEO, "That's actually the worst idea I've ever heard in my life."

"Look, Y/N, you wanted a feature on your song," your CEO chuckles at your response, "I think this is an amazing idea."

"You're literally giving Dispatch a green light to release those photos. Do you want me to email you a picture of me and Mark making out so you can just tweet it from the official account?" you counter, "Why in the hell would having my ex-boyfriend feature on my solo debut title track be anything short of a terrible idea?"

"Mark is incredibly famous and incredibly talented," she begins, counting with her fingers, "You have high standards. We have a good relationship with SM Entertainment. Your fans love shipping the two of you together since you're in the same age group."

"He's also my ex-boyfriend. Is that not extremely problematic? Everyone will hyper analyse every interaction we have or have had and then they're actually going to figure out that we dated." you ponder, "The worst part of this all is that I know he would say yes if his company lets him."

"Exactly- he's your ex-boyfriend, not your current one. By all logic, he's now just another fellow idol or colleague that you can collaborate with. Anyway, SM will definitely say yes; look how many of their idols are in relationships or at least feature on tracks."

"This is all Crush and Joy's fault," you groan, looking at the pleased expression on your CEO's face knowing that she had won the argument.

When your company proposed the idea of having a solo debut to you half a year ago, you had vehemently declined the opportunity, citing it wouldn't be beneficial to your group as a whole and that you wanted to be known for your group and not your individuality. Your members, on the other hand, had different ideas and talked you into at least hearing out the company. You had really only agreed to the debut when they told you that they would give you full musical freedom and the help that you personally requested. It only seemed like a good idea when you realised that someone in the group needs to be the one to start doing solo activities so the rest of the group can follow suit. You've always known that Jian has been curious about acting.

So you find yourself swiveling in your chair in the studio, waiting for Mark to find his way to the room. It's your first time working together for your solo debut and the last time you had spoken to him was a text he sent you asking if you actually wanted him to feature on the track before he gave a response to his company. You begrudgingly replied a yes because even though you still didn't think it was a good idea, you couldn't imagine yourself working with anyone other than Mark. The industry was crazy sometimes.

The knocking on the door snapped you out of your thoughts and you jumped up to open it to Mark Lee holding two cups on the other side.

"Hey pretty. I got us some coffee," he pushes a cup into your hand and you move aside to let him in, "How are you?"

"Don't call me pretty," you mumble as you turn away to hide the blush starting to appear on your cheeks, "But I'm okay. It's getting busier with the holidays coming up, so you know how that is, but the company thought this time was a great time to work on my debut."

"I feel you," Mark grimaces, taking a seat on the other spinning chair, "Don't tell anyone but Dream is actually having another comeback. It's going to be out just before Christmas."

"Another one?" your eyes widen in shock, "But you just released 2 Baddies and I know you definitely have a repackage soon!"

"Yeah, it's hard to be part of both units," he sighs, "Cause our new album will be over 6 months out from Beatbox, but only 3 months from 2 Baddies. Whatever, you know I love what I do."

"Doesn't mean you don't get tired," you cross your arms, "Now I feel bad having you on this track. You are way too busy, Mark! Why didn't you or your company say no?"

He shakes his head to reassure you, "Nah, trust me Y/N; you're exactly the break I need from the boys. Besides, I've never had the chance to formally work with you, so why would I give up the opportunity when it comes? We always made a great team back then."

You smile fondly, thinking about all those times when you and Mark were young teenagers and would huddle up in the practice rooms writing songs together and creating melodies on your guitars.

"I guess we did. Anyway, have a listen to this track. It's just something I wrote a while ago, but it always seemed unfinished so I thought that a feature would complete it," you hand him a pair of headphones and gesture over to your laptop with the track already loaded up, "If you like it, you can do your part in the second verse, but otherwise we can start from scratch."

You watch his face as he listens to the song and you're endeared to find out he still carries the same habit of letting his face do all the talking whenever he's listening to something new. His head is bobbing up and down as he nods along to the song and you can easily tell which parts he likes.

"So, what do you think?" you inquire.

He has a grin on his face, "I love it! Honestly! It's a cute song about a crush, I guess?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to go with any song that's lyrically strong for my debut. This song's pretty unassuming and you know how important it is to the companies to have a general public-friendly song," you shrug. They didn't really explicitly give you guidelines, but you knew what the company was really looking for- a hit, "Can you work with that beat? I'll send you the song of course and you don't have to rush or anything."

"I'll see what I can do," Mark teases, "Can I get an insider sneak peek at the rest of the album? You know, feature perks and all of that."

You flush even redder than when he complimented you earlier, "I'm going to be so honest Mark, the whole album is about you. Every song I've written is about you."

He shrugs casually, "I would've figured. You're a big inspiration to my writing too. Is that a no, then?"

You decide that there was no point shying away from Mark's request, considering that he would end up hearing each and every song whenever your album came out anyway. Plus, the two of you were artists and you understood being each others' muse- good or bad. Mark had seen you in every vulnerable state possible. Showing him your songs that you were comfortable enough to release to the public anyway was nothing to you.

"You can listen."

You don't bother giving Mark any explanations for any song- he's the one that lived through these experiences with you. You leave him with your tracklist on the laptop and tell him you would leave him for a few moments to grab some lunch for the two of you in the company cafeteria. You were hoping it was going to be a quick trip down and back up, but you had run into a producer you were also working with on the album, and that gave Mark at least 5 songs worth of time alone.

What you hadn't expected upon returning was to find Mark crying softly, his sweater paws rubbing at his eyes.

"Mark? Are you crying?"

Your surprise caused him to jump up and frantically wipe away his tears, "Ha. That's a really sad album, huh?"

The guilt continues to eat you up from the inside out, "I'm not going to release all of them, I think. A few sad songs and fill the rest in with inconspicuous tracks."

"Well your songs are beautiful anyway," he gives you a pained smile, "You're an amazing writer. I just wish I wasn't the cause of your pain."

"Hey," you scold softly, bumping his arm with yours, "Don't say that. You were nothing but amazing to me. You made me so happy. It was just the circumstances around us."

He chuckled bitterly to himself, "If we weren't famous- if this industry wasn't so vicious, I would still have you?"

"Mark," you warn, but he cuts you off.

"Have you thought about what I asked you?" he interrupts, "It's been a year, you know? I still miss you."

"Mark, it's not that easy," you counter, "Nothing's changed!"

"It's either you want to be with me or you don't. Don't skirt around it and just tell me the truth, okay? It would really make working together easier if I know where we stand. I won't stop fighting for us until you tell me to stop, so tell me what you want, Y/N," Mark pleads, standing up to face you, "I'm sorry for springing it out of nowhere, but I need to know. I can't move on until I know to let you go."

You hate yourself for what you did to Mark. He was the boy that taught you how to love and how to love patiently, sincerely, and passionately. He was the boy that held your hand and rubbed your back when you cried and the boy that celebrated every success with you. He was the boy that told you how proud he was of you, even every time you felt like the world was collapsing around you. He was the boy who would lay kisses on your forehead and whisper sweet nothings in your ear whenever you faced another setback. He was the boy that made flowers bloom out of your heart from his kind gestures and the way he showed you how much he loved you. And if nothing else, Mark was the boy that made you happy.

You remember a conversation with your youngest member the night before. You had confided in her how nervous you were to work with Mark and she lectured you on finally letting yourself be happy. You were already a 4-year idol and Mark was coming onto 7 years. You weren't rookies anymore and you had solid fanbases. It was clear that the companies weren't extremely opposed to revealing that the two of you were dating back then, so she told you that it would be fine now. Kali told you, rather cliché-ly, that the heart wants what it wants and your heart has been screaming and begging from Mark since the second you ended that phone call with him all those years ago.

"Y/N?"

"Mark," you meet his eyes and melt all over again, "It's you, Mark."

Mark wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you tighter. The other hand reaches up to your face to brush your hair out of your face and cradle your cheek as he brings it up to his own face. Your noses are almost touching as Mark lays it all bare for you, "Do you love me or do you not, Y/N?"

"I do," the feeling is cathartic when you finally tell him and when he finally presses his lips in a searing kiss that sets off all the fireworks in your heart. The feeling of Mark is familiar, but the kiss is longing and hopeful and you can't get enough.

You're both panting when he breaks the kiss and he rests his forehead against yours as he laughs softly in relief. He's been waiting to do that for over 2 years.

"I need you back, Y/N. It's been the worst 2 years of my life," he whispers against your lips, "Please come back."

You smile when he opens his eyes. They're that shade you grew to love all those years ago and they're sparkling like the day he first asked you to be his girlfriend.

Nothing's changed in your environment, that's for sure. What you're also sure about is that each time you see Mark again, you feel a little braver and more courageous. Each time Mark tells you that he loves you even though you shattered his heart like glass, you feel like his love can get you through anything. Maybe you needed those 2 years to see what you were missing or maybe you were just stupid.

Whatever. All you know now is that even 2 years on, Mark Lee is still begging for your love and your brain is losing out in its battle against your heart. It might've taken you two years, but now you see that all you need is Mark Lee by your side to get through the torrential storm that was heading your way and that you were going to get out on the other side to a bright and sunny sky, as long as he was holding your hand and leading you.

You place a kiss on his lips that tells him all he needs to know, "I'm here, Mark. It's always been you. You've always been the one. Always."

#mark lee #nct blurbs #nct scenario #mark lee x reader #nct fic #mark lee imagine #nct imagine #nct blurb #mark lee scenario #nct fluff #mark x reader #mark #nct mark #mark fic #fic recs #mark lee au #mark lee fic #nct angst #mark lee fluff #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #exes to lovers #idol!verse #idol reader #idol au

[peachjaem00]

an: happy Valentine’s Day lovelies and happy birthday to the love of my life Jung Jaehyun!

[06:13 pm] “Happy birthday lover boy!” You receive Jaehyun at home with a big smile and a box with a little red bow in your hands. “Also, happy Valentine's day baby.” You reach up and peck his lips. He tastes like red velvet cake.

“Thank you, love.” He greets you with the biggest smile. “Here, I got something for you too.” He hands you a similar box except his bow is baby blue.

“Why? It’s your birthday not mine.”

“I know but it’s also Valentine's day.” He leaves his jacket on the couch and then proceeds to sit. You follow him and sit next to him. “C’mon! Open it!” He smiles with excitement.

“No, open mine first!” You push the box into his hands.

“Okay fine.” He takes the bow off, then the box lid and when he sees what’s in the box, his smile grows wider. “Oh this is beautiful!” He takes the necklace out of the package to admire it.

It's a golden chain with your initials in it and a little diamond.

“That’s not all. Look!” You show him the chain that you had on. It was the same as his only that yours had a J in it.

“Matching necklaces?” He raises one eyebrow. “This is the best gift ever!” He gives you a quick peck and then he puts the chain on. “How does it look?”

“Amazing as always.” He smiles while blushing.

“Okay now open mine!” He pushes the box in your hands just like you did with him. “You’re not gonna believe it when you see what it is.”

You open the box carefully and when you see the contents of it you let out a big laugh. You take out the bracelet that has a J in it and when you look at Jaehyun, he’s showing off his bracelet, which has your initials.

“Matching bracelets?” You raise your eyebrow as well. “This is the best gift ever!” You mock him, making both of you laugh.

Jaehyun helps you put on your bracelet and when he’s finished he gives you a hand kiss, kind of like the princes do with the princess.

“How charming.” You both laugh again. “Happy birthday babe, thank you for allowing me to celebrate another year of your life by your side.”

“Thank you for wanting to be by my side.” He smiles and then he kisses you.

This one is deeper and longer, his lips feel soft and sweet and you feel loved. You thank the universe for putting Jung Jaehyun in your life.

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #yoonoh #jung yoonoh #Jaehyun fluff #yoonoh fluff #jaehyun timestamp #yonooh timestamp #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct 2021 #nct fluff #nct u fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct 2021 fluff #nct timestamp #nct u timestamp #nct 127 timestamp #nct 2021 timestamp #jaehyun au #yonooh au #nct au #nct u au #nct 127 au #nct 2021 au

[venusorbits]

GODDAMN SUPERSTAR

SYPNOSIS ︴How you become an iconic and legendary idol in the kpop industry, with your booming fame, charm, undeniable talent and strong presence. It's no surprise that you're catching eyes everywhere you step in. The path of stardom, was not the easiest but the blood, sweat and tears, you gave for this was worth it.

CONTENTS ︴idolverse!, idol kpop reader industry, fluff, kpop industry being terrible and toxic, sasaeng, dispatch, angst, hate comments and everything that's terrible and annoying that comes being in the kpop industry.

PAIRING ︴Eventually Johnny of NCT x K-Pop Soloist! reader

TAGLIST ︴@vapingcandy @pinkladybugs-world @rosabella1009 @sadisticfries​ @oceanic-jupiter-sea @itskpopular @alixnsuperstxr  if you want to be tagged on send me an ask.

NOTE: This is still an 'x Reader fic' technically but, I have to make a name the person, to make it easier for me to write about. I will try not to mention the name I gave the you/oc so, you can still indulge in it. But, there will be occasions when I will have to write it out! Thank you!

아프로디테 🪻 SNS 🪻 CRACK EDIT 🪻 YOUTUBE 🪻

FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS 🪻 DATING HISTORY 🪻IDOL FANBOYS OF DITE 🪻 IDOL FANGIRLS OF DITE 🪻 IDOL INTERACTIONS 🪻 FAN INTERACTIONS 🪻

( ♡ ) ━━━━━ LINEUP OF THE ERAS

TRACK LIST ONE ≡;- ꒰ ° PRE-DEBUT | UNKNOWN ꒱

TRACK LIST TWO ≡;- ꒰ ° DEBUT ERA | 2011 ꒱

TRACK LIST THREE ≡;- ꒰ ° GOOD RIDDANCE ERA | 2012 ꒱

TRACK LIST FOUR ≡;- ꒰ ° TIL LOVE CAME TO KILL US ERA | 2014 ꒱

TRACK LIST FIVE ≡;- ꒰ ° LIE TO ME ERA | 2015 ꒱

TRACK LIST SIX ≡;- ꒰ ° THE REAPER ERA | 2016 ꒱

TRACK LIST SEVEN ≡;- ꒰ ° ?? ERA | 2017 ꒱

TRACK LIST EIGHT ≡;- ꒰ ° REPUTATION ERA | 2018 ꒱

TRACK LIST NINE ≡;- ꒰ ° GOD HELP ME, I'M TRYING ERA | 2019 ꒱

TRACK LIST TEN ≡;- ꒰ ° YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN KID ERA | 2020 ꒱

TRACK LIST ELEVEN ≡;- ꒰ ° ?? ERA | 2021 ꒱

TRACK LIST TWELVE ≡;- ꒰ ° DIVINE WOMAN ERA | 2022 ꒱

TRACK LIST THIRTEEN ≡;- ꒰ ° ?? ERA | 2023 ꒱

#nct fluff #nct 127 #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct idol au #kpop idol #kpop idol reader #idol reader #kpop reader insert #nct scenarios #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 johnny #johnny suh #johnny suh nct #johnny suh scenarios #johnny suh x reader #johnny suh x you #johnny suh fanfic #johnny suh fluff #johnny suh imagines #johnny suh au #[ venusorbits 🪐. masterlist ]

[1997yakul]

Don't Leave Your Lunchbox in the Aisle

.·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆

Hey, you! Yeah, you! Stop there!

Na Jaemin needs a tutor before he’s booted off the basketball team and loses his chance at a scholarship. (and probably his mom's respect...) Can you help out?

You have a slightly awkward history, yet still maintain your unbearably ginormous crush? You're the perfect candidate!

☆ ☆ ☆ Sign up here! ☆ ☆ ☆

(masterlist) ☆ (nct masterlist)

.｡.:*♡ Pairing: student!jaemin x tutor!gn reader

Word Count: 7,9k (one-shot)

✧ Tags: unreciprocated crush to lovers(?), angst, fluff, humor, kissing, pining, swearing, detention buddies yay, tutoring, slowburn, You Fell First! He Fell HARDER!(punches wall)

start + end date: September 21 2021 - October 6 2022

✧ Notes: this was written for my lil friend bongbong who likes a slice of the weird jaemin pie. Shes always hyping up my stuff and supporting me in my weird endeavors. Shoutout bongbong!!!!!!!

originally posted on ao3

✩ fic is below the cut! enjoy ✩

There's something weirdly satisfying about the feeling of your sweated out forehead peeling off of your desk. It's sticky and kind of hot, probably due to the piles of blankets you shrugged over your shoulders in a fit hours earlier. 

It was a promise you made to your mother that brought you here, the brilliant plan to study at any moment of downtime and then take the exam when you got home from helping her at her work. It seemed sort of.. ingenious at the time..? Now, everything's kind of flipped belly up as you drag your finger in panicked circles across your trackpad. You did submit it, right? Wiping at one of your eyes in horror as you wake your laptop up, there's this white box with black text that stands front and center on the screen before you.

'Assignment is no longer available. Click 'close' to return to classroom homepage.'

"What?" You whisper to yourself, eyes fluttering to the bottom right of your screen. The time reads 1:49 AM. Your hand falls to your desk with a thump, and the blankets on your back slide off pathetically. 

This type of shock doesn't send you into a full blown panic, not yet. Tapping the 'close' button, you exhale and watch as the page reloads. Searching for the 'Midterm Exam' assignment ends up being a useless, piteous effort. It's now listed under the locked 'Past Assignments' bar.

"No. I turned it in." You lean back in your chair, shaking hair back from your face as you give yourself another moment to think. "Yeah." It's kind of a lie, you think. Maybe just speak it into existence. Falling asleep in the middle of an online test is simply not possible. Not for you at least. Not one that's worth 50% of your grade. Not one that you were sure you already finished last night after you showered. 

*

"It wasn't submitted, I'm not sure how else to tell you this."

Sometimes, things just fall apart.

"I swear I submitted it. I did it when I got home last night."

Your hybrid schedule due to the pandemic has you at a socially distanced desk for 4 hours every Tuesday and Thursday, and the masks make it hard to see if your teacher has an expression of actual sympathy or just really needs to shit. Eyes alone are not enough to piece it together, you realize. He slips this red piece of paper onto the surface of your desk before moving on to the student behind you. 

It's asking for a guardian's signature of knowledge that you failed to turn in your midterm. 

Across the room leaned up against the far wall, Na Jaemin holds his red card too. He flicks it loudly, his eyes dashing over the brim of his white sanitary mask from left and right as students pass by.

'the desks are socially distanced but students are allowed to get up and walk around and talk to their friends lollll'

Incomes a text from Chenle from the front row, glittered with emojis of zany faces and tongues. 

'stupid af' He texts again, his head swiveling to face you to see if you're checking your phone. He turns back.

'how tf did you get a red card???'

You sigh, brushing hair out of your face before texting back.

'i feel asleep before i clicked the submit button'

'bruh' Chenle replies after a short moment.

'i heard if you do a sport or like lead a club or something the principal will just like let u graduate anyway'

He texts again, tacking on an emoji of a cat smirking.

‘i’ll be fine it’s just gonna suck to get my mom to sign it but she will understand… i got the whole rest of the semester Dw dw’

Your eyes go a little blurry with sleep, sneaking a glance at Jaemin against the wall as you yawn. He's typing something rather ferociously on his phone keyboard. His hair is dyed a chestnut brown, his roots grown out an inch in black, swept forward falling over his eyes. 

*

You have been on the same bus as Jaemin since your 10th year at high school, transferring from an online school experience suddenly after a move. Growing up with close to no one you could consider a friend, Jaemin was the first person who ever caught your eye enough to call it interest. He was peak ‘public school’. He seemed friendly, charming, athletic, outgoing— he was the stop right after yours and was always running after the bus. Waving his arms as he chased it down until someone in the back would call up to the driver to tell him he missed someone. It felt like a scene from a movie, like there was no way that he was not the love interest.

Never did he ever forget to shoot the bus driver this breathless smile as he took the stairs two at a time. So hopped up on adrenaline and determination it made your head spin. In the Summer, the humid mornings with the sun already risen in the sky, dribbles of pearlescent sweat beads would slither down his temples like cobras, and in the Winter, the sky would be dark and ominous and Jaemin would board with a cherry red nose, only visible by the bus' interior lights. Every morning you watched just for that same smile, and every morning each one was more charming than the last. You watched again and again, just to dart your eyes away as soon as he finished giving his thanks to the driver.

Everything changed, whether it was the changing of the seasons or the changing of semesters, everything changed except Na Jaemin's stupidly charming smile. Your pupils would fall to your bag in your lap to twiddle your thumbs and deal with these childish feelings that boil up and bubble over like a science experiment gone wrong. 

He was so super popular because of his endless prettiness and confidence. One time he came to school in a crop top and got dress-coded. He was even seen arguing with staff in the middle of the hallway holding the wrist of another student, bickering endlessly until the staff argued back with words just a little too big for him, words that left Jaemin just a little too quiet, and then he would just smile— laugh at it. The girl with him who had tears in her eyes over their failed attempt at a protest patted at his back for them to leave. He moved on, but never gave up. He would try again in a month. He was unstoppable. He’d lose with a smile.

That's probably one of the most disappointing things about the situation of the world right now. It may sound selfish and of such the tiniest amount of importance, but the worst part of the masks and the social distancing was easily missing out on Jaemin's smile each day. No matter if he was pissed off, shocked, confused, disappointed, he would smile that beautiful smile that would make you feel like projectile vomiting glitter.

*

Somehow everything he did was interesting. Attention-worthy. Your head lifts up from its downward position, relocating to face where you last saw Jaemin, but he's missing.

There's suddenly 3 messages from Chenle.

'after school today, let's go get snacks.’

'oh wait does the red card mean detention?'

'earth to my astronaut?? helloooo'

You sigh, running your fingers along the edge of the thick paper thoughtlessly. "Ouch!" Comes shooting from your mouth, your body jolting in your seat. Your blood oozes in a thick stream from the fresh cut on your finger, instinctually, you draw it to your mouth. The rough papery material of your mask presses to your lips, and shaking your head out of the clouds helps you realize the last minute you lost to your daydreams. There's a stifled laugh from the side of the classroom, and for a moment you split to smile back at them with your usual "Yeah, I'm kind of an idiot sometimes. It's okay!" reassuring aura, but this time it's not a friendly face among your acquaintances of peers, but Huang Renjun and Jung Sungchan.

There's something so unnerving about being laughed at by students who you just have the most powerful sense of superiority complexes from. It's not like they've ever been outright mean, but with students so judicious, sometimes they don't have to be mean to feel mean. Like they must just already have everything so carefully set up for them that they have not a single care in the world. Like they're above high school and probably understand how investing in stocks works (Cool people don’t understand stocks!) and have their life planned out til 40.

The worst part is that Na Jaemin is standing there next to them. His eyes fall flat of emotion, his face is angled down at his phone, but his eyes, heavy-lidded, are staring at you. Your hand slides across your face, arm covering your mask and its fresh blood splotch, turning your head to face the window.

*

Sometimes you wonder how Jaemin can deal with so much attention. With eyes that seem to always be on him. Of course your eyes were a part of them too… something deep inside hoped he could tell you thought of him differently. It wasn’t just that one day with the crop-top, before that he would get dress-coded everyday for his shoes. He would wear Converse, black on black instead of the dress shoes all students were meant to wear. He used to be given notes to bring home every single day. It took a month or two for them to just give up on him changing for them. Some people saw it as him being stubborn, or said it had to do with how much money his parents made, but you thought it was a small type of heroism.

Detention is packed, seriously packed to the brim, students overflowing the desks and crammed into all corners of the classroom. It's definitely not following coronavirus regulations, but at this point you're less than surprised at your country's 'safety in the education system' plan. More than anything in this moment, you'd pay to get a glance at Jaemin. Wherever he may be smushed, you just knew he must've looked amazing. It felt like an insatiable addiction to just take glances at him throughout the day, like, A Little Fix Here! and A Little Fix There! With a fresh mask on, you felt like you could take on the world, like, sure, you made a fool of yourself earlier– but he probably doesn't know who you are, so it doesn't even matter!

Your phone buzzes from deep inside your bag, and you begin searching for it instinctively before the instructor at the front of the room makes some lame call-out for you to stop. A mere "Oh, shit. Yeah." slips off your tongue before you lean back up to your desk, but your head hits the underside of the hard surface. The quiet class, filled to the brim with students, all turn and stare. Your hands fly to grip at the desk you just hit your head on. Today isn't one for the books, obviously.

"You're alright." Whispers from the windowsill, and your brain shuts down.

It's Jaemin.

His hand is atop your head, petting carefully.

You don't even know how it got there, or when all of this just decided to take place, but today is now absolutely the best day ever. Totally one for the books!

"Thank you." You whisper back. It's kind of coy and cute, and you don't mean for it to come out that way, but your nerves have encumbered you from saying anything even slightly self-assured.

"Take care of yourself." He whispers again, this time, it matches your tone. Bashful. "You hurt yourself a lot nowadays." 

"Oh." Comes tumbling from your lips before you can catch it, scrambling for words to act as a proper response to what feels like flirting. Is it flirting or just genuine kindness? So he saw you earlier, is this him bullying you? Why was it so sexy though? Is it Na Jaemin or is it Eros? Aren't they sort of the same thing at this point?

His hand falters from your head, and your own darts up to smooth down any misplaced strands of hair. Jaemin swings his legs back up onto the vent before him, leaning his back against a beam between two large windows. The room is quiet besides some whispering here and there, but before Jaemin can help it, he returns to face your desk again. His legs fall over the edge of the sill again, slouched comfortably. Thighs spread like syrup over hot pancakes, his hands running down his slacks until they pause at his knees, smoothing wrinkles as he goes. He's leaned much further forward now, and his breath is calm. Warm and subtle, he blinks through dark eyelashes and asks 

"Why are you so nervous?" 

Probably the worst thing to ask someone who is nervous. He continues, "Is this your first time in detention?"

You exhale deeply, there's not even an effort in trying to conceal it. It's like a boulder has just been heaved off of your chest. He isn’t flirting, he’s just being nice. "I should've guessed. You have big eyes that look to explore, but you're keeping to yourself." 

Interesting. Almost poetic.

"Would you rather me talk to you?" You ask, suddenly feeling a chill up your neck. When were your eyes ever considered big?

"No." He answers, soft and serious before his eyes squint in laughter.

Short puffs of contentedness leave your nose in muffled exhales. Everything feels so right at this moment. "Same here." 

"Too bad." He whispers, this time, the hair that has feathered over your ear brushes against your cheek when his breath reaches you. It smells like coconut and spearmint, he chews gum behind his mask, which is obviously outlawed. You know he’s a rule breaker, but now he’s breaking rules around you… it’s sexier. He's flattening himself out even more now, practically folding to reach his arms to cross over themselves on your desk, head falling atop of them. "Have we met before?" He blinks up at you, kittenish and cute.

Internally, you are scolding your heart like a dog that jumps too much. Down boy! Calm yourself! But the ba-boom, ba-boom grows stronger, louder, and Jaemin is just getting closer, and closer. "I don't remember. I don't think." 

"You don't think?" Jaemin repeats, his beaming smile lights up his face, although he's got a mask on to cover the best part, it reaches his eyes easily. Somehow it comes with great beauty and delivers great anxiety. "We're on the same bus. You don't recognize me?"

"Oh!" You beam back with overzealous surprise, you big fat fibber. "You're on bus 127 too?" You nod, his Converse with the tears in the canvas nudging against your shoes. 

"Yeah. I thought we made eye contact a few times. I guess my face is more forgettable than I thought. Darn." At this point, his fingers are tracing circles around scribbles on the desk. It's so painfully obvious you've been caught and he thinks it's hilarious to see you suffer so immensely. He knows you've been watching him all this time, it's humiliating.

Something inside, lost in the depths of repressed feelings, clicks in that moment. Like, is this it? Are you just another privileged stupid asshole that has fun messing with people who fall for your amazing face? "Dumbass." You gasp, hand flying up to your masked face, eyebrows darting up on your forehead. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"Dumbass." Jaemin repeats with a scoff and a laugh. "I'm not a dumbass! You're the dumbass. I'm not blind, you look at me all the time!" He's whisper-shouting and some people are starting to glance over in your general direction. "Why would you possibly stare at a person so much? Because you have a crush."

"I do not have a crush, Jaemin. You wish." 

"So you do know me?" He leans back up against the window sill again, his right shoulder resting on the support beam. 

The teacher up front smacked the yardstick on the chalkboard twice, dismissing students in a matter of seconds. Jaemin is quick, his foot slamming a strap of your backpack on the floor. You look up, one hand around the free backpack strap, the other pressing down on your desk. You glare at him for a second. "Do you know my name?"

"Y/N." 

There's this slow motion moment of silence where you realize, "Wait, you know me?" 

"Since the first day back to school. Where you sat in my seat on the bus with your hair all sweated to your forehead and your lunchbox in the aisle." You stare up at him, maybe two or three inches below. Why is blinking suddenly impossible? "You had the baseball cap you used to wear, the red one." He motions a hand to the left side of your forehead, mimicking the brim of the cap. The classroom is empty, your knuckles whitening at the tautness of the pull on your backpack. "Let go for a minute." He asks, and it feels very genuine, so you do.

"I have to go home and study, like now. If I fail this class I'm done for." You push in your desk chair and look back up at Jaemin. "I would really appreciate my bag now." You lay your hands out flat, palm up. Somehow there's tears swelling in your eyes, and if you cry right now, that'll be super embarrassing. So you close your eyes to hold them back.

It's quiet for a second until two footsteps place Jaemin behind you. His hand envelopes a shoulder as he drags a strap over each one. It's scary how careful he is.

"There." He whispers, it's very quiet. "I'm sorry." He says, so quiet it's like he wants to not be heard. 

"Sorry." You return, opening your eyes again. The window shines in the brightest sunshine you've seen for a while, you blink a few times and wipe away wetness before turning around. He stands lanky and still, head hanging mysteriously low in shame. "Don't feel bad, sorry I didn't react like how you're used to." 

"I'm not used to any response at all, that was my first… statement."

"Confession?" You correct, and watch as his eyes trail back and forth between the tiles on the floor. His hands fiddle at his sides, fingers touching each other all over. You take quick steps and wrap your arms wide around him, feeling the back of his neck in one slide of your palm, his hands reaching back out just a second too late. "Bye." You mumble, prancing itty bitty steps out of the classroom before full-on sprinting down the hall. 

*

'youre so weird Wtffffff why didn't you like be normal omhgh y/n'

'i don't know it was so awkward i wish i was never born'

'but u hugged him AAA'

'it was so bad please i like ran away afterwards it felt like kindergarten'

'its okay dw you can try talking to him more tmrw!'

'i have to focus on school now tho? like what are the fucking odds that the minute i actually am being forced to do better in school is the minute the loml confesses to like, being interested in me…'

'fail the class, join a club. trust me.

HOLY SHIT Y/N, TWO IN ONE. JOIN THE BASKETBALL TEAM!!!

I kind of wanted to join too… and ur like kinda tall… i believe in u'

’chenle i dont like sports and there is nothing in the world that could convince me to join.’

'just do it trust me jaemin is the only good one so even if ur bad u will blend in… plus maybe u can be like omg Jaemin how do i dribble omg i only know how to dribble drool down my jaw staring at u mwahmwah and then he'll be like Oh same let's make out'

‘chenle.'

'hehehehe'

*

The bus ride is quiet, some gentle stirring every once in a while from the few seats behind you, but your heartbeat is all that you can focus on. The ride is suddenly so much longer than you're used to… every turn the bus makes in the direction of Jaemin's stop is a step closer to imminent doom. 

Today is no different from the rest, Jaemin is caught waving the bus down with swinging arms and curved eyes, boarding with a bow before making his way down the aisle. It clicks quite quickly where he is planning to sit. Normally he gets on, takes a few wide steps, and plops himself in one of the first few seats. His eyes find yours almost instantaneously upon boarding, his palms smacking the corners of each seat as he passes them.

"No, no, no, no, no" you find slipping out from under your breath as he nears your seat until he's shoving you in the direction of the window with a giggle.

"Hey, buddy~" Jaemin sings out, smiling dangerously through his mask. His legs spread out wide and his black converse position themselves in opposite diagonals, creating an obtuse angle. Feels like you're back in Trigonometry. Your eyes zig-zag between the seat in front of you and the window out to your right. Ruffling the front of your hair a little, you adjust yourself to face him, just slightly. "There you are." He whispers, his eyebrows smoothing out after a quick bounce. 

Your heart takes precaution.

"I was worried you might ignore me, actually."

You hum a little note. "I'm surprised you're not ignoring me. I thought you might've been embarrassed."

Jaemin contorts his face slightly, tilting his head to the side, leaning until it falls against the seat in front of you. "Embarrassed? Why? What happened? I'm sitting here because this is my seat. This is the first time we are speaking." He holds out his hand, offering it. “My name is Jaemin.” His other hand traces shapes into his right thigh, maybe it's a nervous habit.

"Oh?" You catch on quickly, "Nice to meet you, Jaemin." The bus slows into a full stop to pick up a few more students, they take wide-legged steps down the aisle. The boy in the seat next to you disconnects eye contact for the first time since he boarded.

Each small pothole in the pavement rattles the bus gently, but Jaemin turns the small tremors into earthquakes, making sure to knock knees and shoulders at every small jostle, side-eyeing your reaction at each touch. There used to be something so terrifying about thinking of talking to Na Jaemin, like he would be too cool, or just think you were boring… but it's so different now that it's been put into action. He's cheesy, and embarrassing when it comes to showing public affection. This bus-ride twice a week leads to many 'Scandalous Public Transport Assignations,' as Jaemin labeled them. Smiley, tossing winks and sometimes a Brownie Bite from his lunchbox. The 30 minute bus ride would feel like 2 minutes next to him. 

*

“Today, you should come with me to basketball practice.” Jaemin is downing his half of the blueberry muffin you provided him with, speaking with full cheeks. “You can meet the other guys, and…” He brushes crumbs off of his lap. “I want them to meet you.”

“Wow, that’s forward.” You look over to Jaemin, who swallows the rest of his muffin with a loud gulp.

“Too forward? Aren’t we dating?”

“DATING?!” You yell out in shock, which causes multiple heads to turn and face your direction. You pass shy smiles and apologize softly to some people near you, sinking further into your seat. Brushing a strand of hair back with your pinky, you bite at your cheek, trying to think of the right words. Jaemin is sitting next to you, shoulders tense. “Okay, sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Patting him uncomfortably on the shoulder seems to do the trick! That is, if the desired outcome was for Jaemin to appear extremely embarrassed. “I don’t remember ever… agreeing to that.” You smile, and Jaemin’s shoulders drop significantly. 

“But we sit next to each other on the bus every single day.” He mimics a friendly wave, “And we wave to each other like this in the hallway!” Jaemin shuffles through his bag until he finds his milk carton. “And we give each other gifts.” His eyes blink rapidly, remembering something. “And you already hugged me.”

Your ears sting with hotness. “Okay, but those are things friends do too. We haven’t even been on a date, or ki...ssed.” Somehow it's hard to even say the word in front of him. Both sets of eyes fall to the floor of the bus. “I know we got close fast, but… If I’m going to date someone, even if it’s someone I’ve liked for a while… I still have standards.” Jaemin looks up and nods suddenly with determination. He brings his empty hand up from his side and offers his pinky.

“Promise me if I do those things, I can tell people I’m dating you.” 

Wow. It’s kind of baffling. He’s uncontrollably cheesy and really bad at stuff like this. Maybe romcoms have set your expectations for high school boys a little bit too high. 

“Okay. I pinky promise.”

“Stamp it.” Jaemin commands. “Sign it.”

“Copy it.”

“So dramatic…” You push his hand back into his lap and fold your fingers together. 

Jaemin is smiling.

*

Two weeks later, Jaemin frantically texts you 13 times in less than 30 seconds.

‘hhey y/n’

‘this isvery important’

‘Respondpls’

‘My mom saidtaking my phoneaway’

‘Bc failing english and’

‘Help’

‘y/n my bus buddy’

‘PLSSS’

‘M also fail math n scienc’

‘I have an iddddea’

‘REPSOND MYABY’

‘LIFE OR DEATH’

‘CALL 119’

‘WHAT????’

‘JUST CALL ME…!!?’

And so the phone rings.

“Hi, my baby. Here’s the thing, I have this great idea. And it will work. Because my mom doesn’t know about you-”

(Why doesn’t his mom know about you? Your whole family already knows about Jaemin! This is embarrassing. I mean, you have only been talking for 3 weeks, and you did say you wanted to take things slow, so why is Jaemin the one who’s treating this like one big-)

“Agree? It’s a good idea right? Then we can spend time together! Infinite dates!” Jaemin finishes, his breath pouring into the phone in loud intervals as he wraps up his speech. Unfortunately, very little was heard or understood, so a simple- “Of course! Let’s do it!” suffices to make Jaemin happy. 

The only downside is you’re completely unsure of what you have just signed yourself up for.

* It only takes 4 seconds with Jaemin’s mother to greet you with: “So you must be my son’s tutor!” to get you up to speed.

“Yes, Miss Na. Here to help with the classes he’s struggling in.” You beam, realizing you are ill-equipped, hands empty besides your special green pen with sparkly ink. “And, um, Jaemin said I should just bring myself- since he has his textbooks with him!” Scratching at your left shoulder, you hope she doesn't notice the bead of sweat forming on your forehead.

“Of course, of course. Well, come in, might I add- you are just as cute as a button! I set out some mango for you. You’ll be okay at the dining room table, I presume?” 

“Gosh!” (You haven’t heard that exclamation come out of your mouth in ages.) “Thank you so much, and yes, that’s perfect.” Peering past Jaemin’s mom as you step inside, slipping your shoes off, you notice that his house is much different from yours. The ceilings are very low, wallpaper is seen peeling at the seams, and the floor is scuffed where you stand. Although clean, this house is struggling. Jaemin is at the table, his feet curled up onto a dining chair, making the hole in his sock visible. 

“Now, do you have a running rate for your services? I know it looks like we don’t have the most money, but I work long hours and will be able to afford what you deserve. His education is everything to me.” Your heart breaks slightly, and you shake your head side to side. 

“This is just volunteer work for the school’s Honor Society, don’t worry.” You make your way to Jaemin, who’s smiling at you from his seat. “The most I might need is… a signature? To mark off my hours...? If that’s okay.”

His mom’s eyebrows bounce in amazement. “Jaemin told me it might cost a bit, so I was really prepared! Please, if you need anything, let me know. Thank you so much. I have a shift in about 20 minutes, so I need to be on my way. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She lets her palm slide down your arm and kisses Jaemin on top of his head, and then she’s gone. 

The door slams and you turn your head to Jaemin with fire burning in your eyes. “You were going to have her pay me?! What is wrong with you?” 

“You are seriously going to tutor me, why wouldn’t she pay you? I wanted to be fair.” He rolls his eyes and lets his head fall back against his neck. 

“But you’re-” your eyes scan the entryway and dining room, fist balling.

“Yes, we are not rich.” He sits up properly in his chair. “Doesn’t mean we just get out of paying for things that you are meant to pay for.” He shimmies in his chair. “We aren’t slimy, and don’t think my mom only took your offer because she was excited to get out of paying. She believed you. That’s why she took it.” His palms fall flat on the table as he hoists himself up.

“I don’t think that!” You argue, “Don’t say that. I don’t think like that. Learn to trust a little, Jaem. I’m your friend, I didn’t want to be paid because I’m your friend. She works hard and doesn’t deserve to have to deal with you failing all your classes because you think not trying is cool.” 

“I think trying is not cool? Are you serious? Is that the person you think I am?” Jaemin’s face gets bright red at that one. 

You stutter slightly at the sight of him angry. “I didn’t mean that. I just said it, I don’t know why.” He laughs like he’s really hurt, like he’s so baffled he ran out of viable words. You don’t think you want to be here anymore. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s study some English, then.” He sighs out.

You quickly learn that Jaemin is not the type to say something impulsively. That doesn’t mean he won’t crack a joke that objectively sucks or make a funny noise when he realizes he’s been quiet for too long; but rather that when he means to speak seriously, he will think it through thoroughly beforehand. He chooses his words carefully, even if they don’t sound carefully chosen, (his vernacular kind of lacks…) He just wants to be understood in a way where whatever he is expressing is exactly how he wants to express it. This is a great talent, one that you most definitely do not possess. 

You’re in the middle of analyzing a poem when Jaemin interrupts you. “I do try. I try really, really hard.”

“I know.” You say, quietly.

“No, you don’t. Because what you said earlier must’ve had some truth to it. At least from your perspective. Now, I want to explain my perspective.” He looks up to your eyes without ever moving his head. His eyebrows furrow harshly as he thinks, and then lifts his head. For the first time in your life with Jaemin, this is the first time he’s looked so serious, the first time he hasn’t been smiling. “You are one of the only people on this Earth; besides my mom, that I actually want to make proud.” He fiddles with his pencil before letting it fall to his notebook page. “Everyone works at a different pace, you know? I work slightly slower, and that doesn’t mean I’m not trying- it doesn’t mean I’m stupid. It just means that I need more time to figure this shit out.” He shrugs in his zip-up hoodie, feeling the end of its sleeve between his fingers. “Who knows, maybe my end product— whether it’s a math equation or an essay, is better written, easier to understand, is...” He displays his palms in a ‘you get it’ manner. “There are a lot of students who struggle the same as me. We all try. It’s just different for us— learning is different. Please don’t just assume I don’t try because I don’t do well.”

Your eyes trace along the lines of his face for a moment before looking down at the sentences on the book below you. “I understand. I’m sorry. I hated how I said that so carelessly. I-I am proud of you. I am proud of you for many reasons. I want you to be proud of me too.” There’s a little silence afterwards, just so he can think about everything, process it. He whispers a “Thank you” and you complete one more problem before he’s back to spacing his eyes around the expanse of the room. It takes a minute or two until Jaemin is back to smiling, but the pain of worry stings his eyes, obviously feeling more than he wanted to let on. He opens his mouth a few times to speak before shutting it with a shake of his head. It hurts your heart more than you expect it to. “I’m only worried if I lose my position on the basketball team…” He stutters for a second, motioning with his hands. Looking away for a moment with his palm over his mouth. “I don’t want to lose this thing I love, and I don’t want to let down my team, and I don’t want to… to lose potential scholarships or let down you or my mom.” He forces this extremely weak smile and twirls a pencil nervously. “So… I’ve got to give it my all.” You lean back in your seat, and watch him come to terms with the feelings he's realizing that have suddenly begun to overwhelm him. “I’m gonna tutor the shit out of you.” His eyes dart up to you, scanning over your face before a smile tugs across his lips. This one is real, like he believes you. His head drops back to the paper on the table before him. “Don’t worry. You’re not losing anything or letting anyone down.” You tap your pen onto the next essay question in his homework, “I won’t let you.”

Jaemin leans over the table far enough that his butt leaves his seat so he can wrap his arms around your neck and rest his chin on your head. It lasts for a moment, then he pulls back, scoots himself in, and picks back up his pencil.

*

That Thursday, Jaemin and you stay after school. He has basketball practice, and asks you to wait in the gym as he goes into the locker room to change. They don’t wear masks, you guess because it could be hard to play with them on. There’s already a few guys dribbling a ball around and chatting while they wait, their shoes squeaking intermittently. “How do you know Jaemin?” One of them asks, you don’t recognize them from any of your classes, but Sungchan stands slightly behind him, ajar, watching his teammate interact with you.

“Same bus, actually.” You throw a thumb behind your shoulder as if you’re pointing to the bus lanes. They’re actually in the complete opposite direction. You hope he doesn’t notice.

He starts making his way over to you. “Oh cool. He’s one of the best players we've got.” He nods, beckoning for Sungchan to come join the both of you. “This is Sungchan, and I’m Jeno.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.” Your shoulders instinctively broaden, like some intimidated wild animal. They’re taller than you. Jeno… not by a lot, but Sungchan has quite a few inches on you. Jeno says some stupid thing under his breath, something like… ”Rad,” “Epic,” or  “Chilllll.”

Explosive laughter echoes from behind you, and Jaemin is jogging up in athletic shorts and a jersey. “So awkward, Jeno.”

Jeno’s face flushes, he smiles, spinning around in an embarrassed circle, flourishing with the ball between his fingers. “Trying to welcome your newbie, leave me alone!” He bounces off towards the basketball hoop with big bounding leaps.

Sungchan gives a weak smile. “Nice to meet you.” You nod back, if anything he seems more shy than intimidating now. Jaemin pats your shoulder, poking a finger into your lower back to get you to start moving forward with him. You trail behind Sungchan as a few more boys come out of the locker rooms, boisterous enough to get you to turn back to watch them trickle out. Jaemin smiles at you, craning his head over to you, blocking the view of the door. 

“I’m the cutest, trust me. Don’t bother wasting your time.” You smile back, turning forward as he pulls his hand back to his side. You believe him.

*

Jaemin texts you a picture of him with the rest of the basketball team, each one of them cheesing so hard that their eyes are all swallowed up. They surround their coach who in turn, holds Jaemin up on his shoulders. Jaemin has his fingers gripped tightly around a small trophy. You have to pinch and zoom in pretty far to even see the little gold award. Nonetheless, all of the boys look ecstatic.

‘Yessss!!!!!’ you text, littering the chat with confetti poppers and balloons.

He responds with a close up picture of him pouting his lips. ‘Where do you want it?’

You pull up your blankets out from under you, nuzzling your cheek into your comforter. ‘butt’. You type out, searching frantically for a gif after the read receipt pops up.

‘Your wish is my command.’ He responds, signing off the text with an emoji of a peach followed by one of a kiss. You smile big.

*

Jaemin is the same as always at school, only sometimes he glances over at you, mid-conversation with a friend and nods a slight smile, even across the entire room you never miss it. It’s low effort, but it feels like the best thing in the world. It makes you think to those bus rides where you didn’t know him at all, and how each season he looked more boyish than the rest, floppy and carefree and completely exasperated by his sprint to the bus doors. It was flashing shades of red and white and you wonder what he looks like now. You think to yourself how lucky you feel now. You don’t look away when he boards, or shy away behind the person’s head in front of you. He looks for your eyes and locks into them before you have time to pull your backpack into your lap. He’s calmed down now, like he understands you better and isn’t just being loud to cover up hidden worries. He squeezes up close and leans his head on your shoulder, he’ll lay his head down on your lap, and he will grab and hold your hand like it’s everything he will ever know. The red glow of the interior bus lights slide over the side of his face like a painting and he whispers homework answers like love poems. He’s easy, like it was always meant to be this way. You wonder how you ever lived without him.

*

It’s nearing the end of the semester now and tutoring Jaemin has been enlightening. His mind is beautiful and he never fails to surprise you with his specially hidden sensitive brilliance. It's dark when you finish up Jaemin's English packet and his mom arrives home with a noodle dish in a plastic to-go box. She sets it on the table and pushes it between the two of you. "I just ate some on the bus home, so I'm full. You two can share if you'd like. Again, Y/N, thank you so much for your kindness. I can sign now, then I'm off to the shower." She smiles. Jaemin gives a side glance that just screams 'She's never that nice to me!' And you can only reassure her that it's no issue, and Jaemin is a determined, creative learner. His ears blush with a saturated pink when his gaze shifts from his mom to you. His mom signs off on your paper and shuffles into a dark hallway behind the both of you.

"No way you actually believe that…" He fiddles with his warm ear between his index finger and thumb. 

"Of course. You go after what you want." 

Jaemin laughs and his hand falls into his lap. "Right, just very very slowly." You're packing up your textbook as you shoot him a smile.

"And? You said it. Different paces, it's alright. You have such a fun way of going about answering things. You can see in your work that you see the world differently from everyone else. You see it with hope.” You pluck the pencil from Jaemin’s loose fingers and tuck it into your pencil case with a smile. “You're smart."

His eyes light up. "Wow, no one has ever said that to me before. I could kiss you right now."

"But… should you?"

"Should I not?" Jaemin has this smile that glides across his face and eyes blink slowly, like a cat showing its affection.

“You can, if you’d like.”

Jaemin laughs sharply, rocking back in his seat with his palms pressed firm against the edge of the table. His smile falters into a downturned expression of focus. “No, because— I’ve dreamed of this…” He stands out of his seat, turns around and paces a few times across the dining room and through the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” You laugh, standing up to watch him. “Jaemin.” You place your pencil case on the table, folding your arms as he continues pacing.

“Wait, I can’t do it now. Give me like, 5 minutes.” He pauses, turns, faces you, and points. “I need to get you by surprise.” Then continues walking back and forth.

“I don’t want to be kissed by surprise, I want our first kiss to be…” You motion with wide swinging arms. “Like, kind and…” Your hands cup and cradle the air.

Jaemin stares, nods slightly like he’s factoring in a few different possibilities and outcomes, and then returns back to his seat. You stare down at him for a second, and his eyes flicker up to you for a moment before returning to his homework. He spins a pencil around and between his fingers.

“I want to like… make out.” You say softly, watching him from above. He stops pacing for a second, processes, then continues. “I want to… touch you all over.” Your stomach turns harshly, and Jaemin freezes again, his body still. “I want to have—”

“Y/N! You’re still here. You’re usually on your way home by now, aren’t you?” Her voice is slightly stern, your eyes bulge and flicker between Jaemin and his mom. Neither of you dare to move. Your logic is: Maybe if you’re super still, she will forget the last 10 seconds.

It does not work.

She clears her throat, and you see her hair wrapped in a towel, pajama-clad figure just in the corner of your peripheral vision. You think you might pee yourself out of fear. “Need anything else signed? A ride home?” You can only shake your head slowly before turning and swiping a few papers into your backpack, gathering it up and walking to the door without ever glancing back at Jaemin. 

“We’re dating. I’m their boyfriend.” He spits out, Jaemin’s voice makes your head whip around, and your eyes skip back and forth between Jaemin and his mom. Your heart is beating out through your ears. “We were going to kissssss...” His words fizzle out and his eyes shift between his mom and you as you attempt your daring escape. He points down at the table, finger pressing into a notebook. “Go.” He whispers, and you both sprint out the door.

The moonlight cuts through the trees as you walk down the street. Jaemin doesn’t usually walk you home, but since the sun has been setting earlier and it’s getting colder, he has been occasionally joining you. He hooks your elbows like a barrel of monkeys. 

Jaemin laughs so hard he has to wipe tears from his eyes. “I thought she was going to actually strangle you, throw your body across the room like a doll.” You lean forward and back again as you laugh, Jaemin steps heavy with tireless energy and silent laughter casts over the street.

“We’re-dating-I’m-their-boyfriend.” You mock him, and he shoves you with a shoulder off the curb. You try to catch yourself, pulling your hands out of your pockets a second too late. Jaemin grabs your arm and pulls you back to him, shouting apologies up until you can steady yourself. “You’re so cute,” you whisper. He pulls you into his chest and you lock eyes for a moment, it’s almost romantic before you stick your pinky in his ear. At this point, you’re sure you’ll keep sabotaging yourself out of this excitement until you’re both 80. It makes his shoulders jump and his neck go limp, his arms noodling and recoiling away from your touch. You both laugh until you make eye contact again.

“I like you. I really do. A lot.” He gushes, his fingers sliding their way up your sides to pull out your ears.

“I like you when you’re ugly.” He pushes your nose up, snorting like a pig. “I like you when you’re beautiful.” He lets his fingers trace down your neck, kissing you twice, chastely on your jaw. “I liked you when you took my seat on the bus.” He folds a hand around your wrist. “And I liked you when you left your lunchbox in the aisle.” He kisses again, another time on your cheek.

“But I like you the most, the absolute most…” He kisses your bottom lip, giggling as he moves his way up, angling himself with a slight bend to his knee “…when you like me too.”

☆

(masterlist) ☆ (nct masterlist)

#nct 2023 #nct jaemin #na jaemin #nct fic #nct x reader #gn reader #x reader #jaemin x reader #nct dream #nct dream fanfic #kpop fanfic #nct fics #1997yakul #fanfiction #ao3 author #ao3 fanfic

[sweetiesicheng]

jungwoo - cuddling

word count : 506

-

today could've been so much better.

i just want to be with jungwoo...

you sighed while sluggishly walking towards the 127 dorm after a horrible day at work. after a few minutes, you finally reached their dorm and let yourself in. thankfully, their managers were okay with you having a key since you came over quite often. at this point, you practically lived at their dorm.

you took your shoes off and headed inside the dorm. "oh, hey y/n!" mark greeted as you walked by the living room. you waved at the guys who were in the living room with him.

"is jungwoo here?" you asked, hoping that he didn’t have an extra schedule or practice.

"he's in his room," johnny answered.

you nodded and thanked them before walking away. you walked to jungwoo and jaehyun's shared room. you knocked on the door and carefully opened it.

"oh, hey babe," jungwoo instantly smiled when he saw you. he had his knees up and his phone in his hand.

"hey y/n," jaehyun greeted. you slightly smiled and walked in, closing the door behind you before walking to jungwoo.

"babe, you okay?" jungwoo asked you, noticing your unusual quietness, and he put his phone down on his bed. you shook your head, and jungwoo lifted up the blanket to let you lay down next to him. you put your purse down on the floor and took your jacket off before laying down next to him. "hey, jaehyun," he whispered loud enough to jaehyun while draping the blanket over you. you adjusted yourself to get comfortable.

you heard jaehyun get out of his bed and leave the room while carefully closing the door behind him.

jungwoo laid down and started cuddling with you, "hey, what's the matter?" he immediately asked and kissed your cheek. "was today just a bad day?" you nodded and jungwoo rubbed your back. "aw, i'm sorry that today was bad. i hope tomorrow is better for you,” he said, knowing that you had the morning shift at your job tomorrow. he brushed some of your hair out of your face and planted a kiss on your forehead.

you stayed silent while jungwoo continued rubbing one hand up and down your back. you sighed thinking about your job while your legs tangled together as you two got comfortable.

then, jungwoo started singing "make your day" and moved one of his hands so it was cradling your head. using his thumb, he fixed a strand of hair that had fallen again. his voice was very soft as he sang, and you closed your eyes at some point. he kept singing and kept giving you forehead kisses in between.

"thank you," you quietly spoke at one point. you looked up at him and saw him smiling at you.

jungwoo stopped singing and kissed you, "of course, babe." he continued singing for awhile to confirm you but eventually stopped once you had fallen asleep in his arms. “love you, sweetie,” he whispered before kissing your forehead again.

#sweetiesicheng #sweetiesicheng nct #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct 2020 #nct 2018 #nct 2021 #kpop #nctzen #nct kim jungwoo #nct jungwoo #nct x fanfic #nct x y/n #nct x you #nct x reader #nct fanfic #nct fanfiction #nct fluff #kim jungwoo #jungwoo #jungwoo fluff #jungwoo x you #jungwoo x y/n #jungwoo x reader #jungwoo fanfic #jungwoo fanfiction #jungwoo x fanfic #nct 127 jungwoo #nct 127 2 baddies

[sxtvrns]

duo of dreams

🎶 now playing: ordinary – nct dojaejung

P: Hueningkai x Fem!Idol!Reader

S: You were seductive. He was an angel. Two polar opposite concepts come together in ways no one would expect.

C: fluff, comfort, inaccuracy, self indulgence, girlboss reader, downbad hyuka, brainrot, drabbling, kinda long, not proofread

N: i am a baby moa so pls do not slander me if i dont get a millisecond of a certain stage performance correct. this is purely for self indulgence because i am so severely in love with kai and everything that he does. idek where this story went but im hoping it makes sense cuz i was so upset with the ending i changed it multiple times and this is the one i liked the most. this man is so fine and im glad im not the only one that thinks so

view the full perfume collection.

please interact if you enjoy!

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2021

The minute you turned 19, you knew what you wanted. Even before you turned 19, you knew what you were, and you knew what you wanted to make out of it. You were hot. Fierce, confident, and eye catching. Everyone knew it, too. You turned heads every time you went to the headquarters, seeing people stare at you out of the corner of your eye.

Before you were of age, though, you never openly exposed yourself in such a way. It was all a tough girl kind of concept. You tended to stay on the neutral, dark, concepts rather than cuter ones. If you were given an idea, you found a way to design it and stick it to your niche. You always preferred to do what you liked rather than being forced into a box with little room to do anything your way; it demotivated you.

As a solo artist, you had lots of creative freedom, being able to write your own songs and even nitpick at how you wanted them to sound. Sometimes you would just need a kickstart or a hint from another fellow producer to get the ideas flowing, and boy, did your mind flow with ideas.

Sometimes you were labeled as ‘provocative’ or ‘controversial’. Some even said you were acting too mature for your age. But it never hurts to get a head start.

When you weren’t music making, you often dabbled in modeling with your partnered companies or for magazines, really, any source of promotion. You felt even more confident while doing so as well, which further boosted your productivity in the studio. It all came full circle.

You tried to do what you like while also balancing music, and you managed to make it work. People looked up to you. Newer groups admired you, your stage presence, how you gave 100% in every single performance that you did, how you wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfect, how much effort you put into practicing.

You idolized your own fair share of groups as well. BTS, Blackpink, Twice; any group debuting for longer than you have, you admired. When you saw Suga crack a smile at your MAMA performance, you nearly broke character on stage, but held it in by letting your heart race and stopping your face from faltering. When Dahyun talked about you during one of her lives, saying you were cool and how she longed for confidence like yours, you nearly fainted on the spot.

You were still a growing girl with people you looked up to, inspired by everything that they do and how you could apply aspects from their performances to yours. You were truly committed to your craft.

You were invited onto a talk show, along with another group, whose name was not revealed to you. Off camera, you heard the footsteps of multiple people passing by, yet you didn’t know who since it was supposedly a surprise for both you and the other idols.

You adjust your mic, the cameras rolling and the MC and group introducing themselves. Though their voices together are loud, you can’t make out what they are saying, only adding more to the suspense. You’re suddenly given the cue by a staff member, walking out and seeing five men sitting together in their chairs with surprised expressions.

You’re equally as surprised, knowing you’ve seen their faces at previous award shows. “Tomorrow by Together?” You point at them, all of them jumping and freaking out at the fact you knew who they were. “Y/N, meet TXT!” The MC says, letting you sit in your chair as the boys calm down.

“Have you two met formally before?”

“I think once backstage, we were on Inkigayo together.” You answer, the event fully coming back to their memories as you mentioned it. “Do you remember our names?” Taehyun asks innocently, watching as your eyes scan over each of their faces before answering. You point at each respective member as you say their names. “Soobin. Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, Hueningkai.” They all cheer and applaud as you dramatically bow towards them and the camera.

“Is there something in particular you like about each other’s music?” The MC asks.

“TXT has a certain flow in their music that manages to get stuck in my head; No Rules and Frost have been playing on loop for the past few days since those are my favourites. And the rhythm and the way each song plays a role within a story is something I really like.”

They all nod, the MC turning their head towards the boy group. “Hueningkai should answer for us.” Yeonjun ushers, patting the maknae on the back. “Yeah, he has your music on 24/7. Nonstop.” Beomgyu adds, only making Kai even more shy.

“Well, Y/N has a really significant, gritty style to her music and a satisfying edge that balances out throughout her songs, so each song is different in its own way. She really pays attention to the role of each instrument in the background and how well they balance together, and her ballads are really well put together because of this. Of course, all of her songs are good, but her ballads stick out even more to me. They’re usually the ones I listen to the most.”

“He’s good.” You say, all of them laughing. “Frost is actually Hueningkai’s song.” Soobin adds. “Really?” The maknae nods, all redfaced and flustered. “That’s why it’s so good then. You did the laugh at the beginning?” He nods again. “I picked it up from you, a little bit.”

“That’s amazing. I loved it, it gave the song the whole like, badass vibe.” You say, immediately covering your mouth. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if I can say that.” They all laugh it off, going back to the topic at hand.

As the interview progresses, you slowly find yourself getting more comfortable with the boys in front of you, laughing and joking around as the questions go on and on. They treat you like a close friend though you’ve only known each other for an hour, and your heart is filled with a familiar warmth as you even fall out of your chair from laughing so hard.

You compose yourself before the interview ends, and when the cameras cut, it goes silent, all of TXT staring at you, and you staring back. Hueningkai is the first to break, everyone else following right after.

━━━━━

the way he looks at her

hyuka had hearts in his eyes the whole time i swear

Y/N ONE CHANCE PLEASE

she is literally slaying so hard and all she’s doing is sitting in her chair

id freak out too if i was in the presence of y/n

IDK IF I WANNA BE TXT OR Y/N

hueningkai finally formally meeting his celeb crush guys the character development is real

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You lurked a lot on social media, having your own personal accounts and such. This also meant you saw all those comments about the tension between you and Hueningkai specifically. They weren’t wrong about it; in fact, there was something there between you two that you couldn’t determine.

It was like a chain operated by a crank that wanted to pull you two closer together. You felt yourself drawn to him, and he felt drawn to you, yet you didn’t know why.

“Hueningkai has the biggest crush on you. He has some of your posters hung up in our room and always stays quiet if your performance is on. He never stays quiet for anything.” Taehyun said, which stuck with you the rest of the interview.

During the recording, you couldn’t help but feel your eyes drawn to him specifically, and how he’d already be staring at you when you looked at him. He could feel it too, the crank wanting to turn. You both were resisting against it, not letting the chain pull you two any closer.

He was cute, for sure. His innocence seemed to radiate off of him, and the way it contrasted with your maturity made you wonder why there was such a significant tension between you two.

So while you sat in HYBE’s cafe on the 19th floor, sipping on an iced chocolate while staring down at the streets below, you tried to take your mind off of him. But it was the most fun you’ve had with another group, and you wanted to relive the laughter in your head over and over again for as long as you could remember it, but Hueningkai was always the first person that came back to your mind when you tried to reminisce. As much as you liked it, it also felt like torture.

The doors of the elevator open with a ding, Hueningkai ordering a lime bachaas at the counter, noticing a familiar figure at one of the window seats. He gets his drink, taking a sip before guessing. “Y/N?” You turn around at the mention of your name, noticing Hueningkai who’s waving at you. You wave back, wondering what to do. It’d be awkward to leave it at this.

You nudge the chair out, letting him sit down next to you. “Are you busy?” You ask, knowing it’s late at night but not late enough until practices usually end. “Just finished. Had some dinner.” He’s usually rambling when he’s asked questions, but maybe today tired him out. You can’t blame him, you were equally as drained. “You watched our episode?”

He huffs with a laugh. “Yeah. I saw the comments too. We’re everywhere.”

“Hope you don’t mind. The internet is crazy.”

“I’m aware of that. I don’t mind at all. Do you?”

You shake your head. “I don’t really care.”

A comfortable silence lingers over the two of you. It isn’t awkward in any way, merely the sounds of the machines behind the counter serving as background noise. “You really picked it up from me?”

“Huh?”

“That laugh. In Frost.”

He awkwardly chuckles. “Ah, well, it’s a bit strange to say it out loud but, when I was recording that part, I tried to envision what it was like in your shoes. All… cool and villain like.”

“You think I’m a villain?”

“Wrong word… more like dominant. When we were sent the sample recording, I could immediately see you doing the song as your own, like I could hear you doing the intro itself. When I imagined your vibe, that’s how it came out. Is that weird?”

“No, I love it. I can understand why you think that way. You did a great job, by the way. Really sweet of you to think of me like that. Your performance for that song too, fuckin’ sexy.” You cover your mouth, looking around and seeing no one else around. “Can I swear?”

He nods with a small laugh. “Sexy?” He asks. “If I’m being honest, you looked really fucking hot up there. Just saying.” His face goes warm, partly at the fact you called their performance ‘sexy’, but mostly at the fact you called him hot right to his face with no shame at all. “Are you flirting with me?”

“Take it how you will, I’m just telling the truth.” Your eyes meet his for the first time during the whole conversation. You break first and finish off your drink, his gaze enough to intimidate yet fluster you at the same time. “I’m gonna go now. Hopefully I run into you again.” You get up, about to leave when you feel a hand tugging on your sleeve, stopping you.

“Um, do you want me to walk you back? We live in the same building and all, I just– it’s dark out.” He rambles, a smile creeping up on your lips. “So you’re cute and you’re a gentleman? I really found the one.” It doesn’t directly answer his question, but the compliment has his heart racing faster than before. “Sure. Let’s go.”

As you walk back to the dorms, you manage to make small talk with Kai, filling in the silent gaps when needed. “I do appreciate your attention to detail.”

“For what?”

“When you were talking about my music. I really like hearing other people’s interpretations on them and what sticks out and such. I’ll be sure to write more ballads for you.” You start off, joking around. “I think it’s a bit funny you view me as someone higher and you’re casually hanging out with them right now. The only difference is that I debuted after you did.”

“You flattered me too much already tonight, Y/N. One more thing and I might just faint from your words alone.”

“Pleased to know I make such an impact on you.”

“You’ve made quite an impact on me for a while now.”

Unlocking your door, you tell Kai to wait outside for a moment, handing him a folded slip of paper. “Thank you for the peace, Kai. Goodnight.” You go to shut the door, opening it slightly again. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You add, Kai walking back to the elevator after you shut the door. He doesn’t unfold the slip until he reaches his own dorm, numbers written down.

It was your phone number, words written right below it.

I enjoyed talking to you tonight. Text me whenever, and hopefully we can talk like this again.

His mind goes back to your words from earlier. ‘Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’

Was it because you called him hot and that he was more secluded on the way back? It was only because he didn’t know what to say after. What was he even supposed to say to that? Thank you? You too?

Before he went to bed, he added your number to his contacts, and hid the note in one of his drawers. He realized one thing, though.

You were definitely flirting with him.

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The elevator door opens, Hueningkai alerted by the ding and turning around to see who it was. Your hood was on, yet he still recognized you, messing around and simply staring at you the whole time to see how long it would take for you to notice.

You see him out of the corner of your eye as you put your phone away, sheepishly waving at him as he proudly waves back, gesturing for you to sit with him.

“Do you wanna see something?” He asks, which grabs your attention. You nod, Hueningkai taking out his phone and opening his emails, tapping on something else. He fully reveals the screen to you, showing photos of him modelling for a campaign. He scrolls through them, and you simply sit there, admiring how he glows in every single one.

“God, you look so good in all of them.” You mutter, hearing him giggle as he shuts his phone off. “You’re the first person to see them.”

“Really?” He nods, running his hand through his hair. “I feel so special.” You smile, wondering how his silly demeanour could turn into that in front of a camera. “Do you want me to send them to you?”

“Can you really do that? It already feels a bit illegal just looking at them.”

“No one needs to know.”

You huff, accepting his offer. “If you’re encouraging it.” He turns on his phone again, sending the photos to you with a ding. “Have you been busy today?” He asks, putting his phone back in his pocket. “Writing. Dancing. I’m performing for KBS, so I’ve been rehearsing. Speaking of which, I just had an idea.” He leans in closer, intrigued.

“Could you… record a few lines for me? It’s for my festival performance; it isn’t a lot, I swear. Just some dialogue. Whenever you aren’t busy, of course.”

“I’m available tomorrow.”

“Great! Cool, I’ll text you more about it. You’re on the setlist too, right?”

“Yeah. Just our title track.”

“Looking forward to it already.”

“What song are you covering, anyways?”

“U-Go-Girl, then transitioning to my title.” His eyes widen, remembering the dialogue that would have to be voiced over by him. “Oh.” Thinking about it alone is almost embarrassing, but he takes pride in the fact that he’s the first person you thought of to record such… important lines. “If you don’t want to, I can find someone else–“

“No, no! I can do it, yeah, I can. I want to. Sounds fun.” He cuts you off, sounding almost too excited. “You know what you’re getting yourself into and not just doing it because I asked.”

“Really, I’d be honoured. Playing a part in your performance.”

“Good. I’d have a hard time finding someone else then, anyways. Wasn’t planning on asking anybody else.”

“So I was first pick?”

You pause, looking for an answer. “You’d add your own little Hueningkai flair to it. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but you’re gonna help me make it stand out from the rest. And that’s exactly what I want.” You always had a thing for being different. Different in a good and influential way, in a way where you wouldn’t be compared to others, rather others were compared to you.

You yawn, covering your mouth and letting your head hang to the side. “Today must’ve taken a toll on you, huh?” You feel his sleeve briefly brush against your hood. “Dance was… hard today. I couldn’t get the moves right even though it’s the easiest dance to ever exist, my brain was mush, I was failing to comprehend anything– I did great in everything else but the performing, stage presence part of it.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. We all have bad days, and it’s okay to feel horrible about it, but you learn to move on and improve. Trust me, I should know.” Kai advises reassuringly, his hand having a gentle grip on your shoulder. “Thanks, Kai. I just feel like a bit of a lazy ass not being able to do things at the pace I usually do.”

“You haven’t been overworking yourself, have you?”

“Not necessarily.”

“If you need to take a little break, take one. Better to be conscious to perform than not perform at all.” He jokes it off, even making you giggle a little as well. “I’ll take your advice to heart, Kai. Means a lot that you care.”

“You aren’t lazy, by the way. I’ve seen your performances and judging from how you exceed everyone’s expectations, you are far from that. You’re a hard worker, Y/N.”

“You really know how to flatter a woman, do you?” His face flushes on the spot, instantly a flustered mess. “Like you said, I’m just telling the truth.” He says, mostly spitting out words that he isn’t entirely sure of. “And you pay attention! My goodness, I’ll never find another guy like you. I’ll treasure you forever, Hueningkai.”

“Stop that…” He murmurs, still flustered and warm faced.

“Don’t be embarrassed! I mean it. I’ll never regret ever knowing you and being a friend of yours.” He only hides his face deeper into his hoodie, giggling as you take a sip of your drink. “Don’t fall in love yet, Huening, you should take me out on a date first.” You tease, finishing off your drink and tapping on his shoulder as you get up to leave “Don’t make false accusations, you’ll get in trouble for that.” He follows behind you, throwing away his own cup.

“I really did appreciate the advice, though. Maybe I was a bit too harsh on myself. I promise I’ll try to be more self aware.” You look up at him with a nod as the elevator doors close with a ding, and he nods back, giving you a thumbs up.

When you arrive at your dorm, you finally figure out a time. “Are you free at 3 tomorrow?” You ask. “For what?”

“For recording, duh. Was this not the first thing we talked about?”

“It was actually the second thing.”

“Okay, smartass, that was rhetorical.” You laugh it off, waiting for his confirmation. “Yeah, I am. I’ll take some time out of my practice for it.”

“I can do it sometime else if you’re busy, then–“

“Y/N, I’m practicing all week, it’s fine. You won’t get my recording in time if you were to do it when my schedule isn’t actually packed. I’ll let them know, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

“Fine, but if I get a complaint that pulling you out of practice was unprofessional I’m blaming you.”

He chuckles. “Fair enough.”

“See you tomorrow, then?” You peek your head out the door at him, tiredly staring at him. “See you. Get some rest, Y/N.”

“You too, Kai.”

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Hueningkai steps out of his practice, following the directions you gave him through text, seeing a few staff members outside the recording booth. They let him in, shutting the door and putting on the given headphones. “Hi Kai. You ready? Need water or anything?” You’re sitting in the producer’s booth at the computer with another staff member.

“I’m good.”

“I’ll play the sample recording for you. Unless you want to go straight into it?”

“Sample.”

Kai had a way of mimicry that you admired. It stayed true to the original, but his voice made it stand out the exactly how you wanted it to, that he got it only after the second recording. You play it back to him, this time layered on top of your main vocals, the part transitioning to your song being the most prominent section where his voice really stands out. “Do you wanna rerecord anything? Personally I think this is the take.”

“Then I’m good.”

You frown at the way he describes himself, even though he isn’t entirely wrong. “Alright, then that’s it. Thanks for coming in.”

“Should I see you later today?” He asks, the other staff member looking at you. “Yeah, sure. Just get back, I feel I’ve taken you for too long already.” Hueningkai begins to tear bits off the lyric sheet, the sound of it reverberating in the room you’re in. You simply watch as he rolls the bits into tiny crumpled balls, leaving them on the stand.

“At least clean up after yourself. You can walk a girl home but can’t pick up your own trash?” You joke, Kai’s ears going red as he takes the bits with him, muttering a goodbye before leaving the room. “You’re close with him?” The staff asks, finicking with the audio.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Nothing. You two seemed to just click instantly. Do you wanna hear how it sounds now?”

As the sky darkens, you wait for a response from Hueningkai almost too eagerly, checking your phone every time it buzzed in your pocket, hoping it was him. You stopped by your rendezvous, just to take a seat and listen to the recording over and over again; it was that good that you wanted to put it on loop and just admire it as many times as you could.

“Boo!”

Hueningkai pounces on you, his hands grasping your shoulders to make you jump. “Kai– do not do that! If I had a drink in my hand right now, I would’ve thrown it at your face.”

“So mean!”

“Reflexes.”

He sits down next to you, leaning in to see what took up all your attention that you didn’t notice him lurking behind you. “Wanna listen? It’s the backup vocals for my performance.” You offer him an earbud as he accepts, playing up until the transition. “And that’s most of it. For now.”

“Feels a little bit wrong to get early access to this.”

“It was only part of it. And now you know how I felt when I saw those photos of you.”

“They’re up now, so nothing to worry about. I saw your messages but that was during water break, so I didn’t get to respond. Figured I’d find you here.”

“I felt like giving up and going back to the dorms. This was a last resort.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to even text you afterwards. Slipped my mind.”

“It’s fine. This is all I wanted to show you anyways.”

He pauses for a moment, staring at the ground trying to remember what it was about the KBS festival he was going to say. “Oh! Right, I just remembered I was gonna tell you something.”

“What is it?”

He leans in closer and whispers something.

“I’m dying my hair.”

“Really? What colour?”

“Brown. Then after the festival, black.”

“Are you getting a new concept?” He nods excitedly, his grin unable to be contained. “I will keep my mouth shut. But I’m excited to see what’s to come!”

“I think you’ll like it. We’ll be working on recordings after the festival.”

“Oh?” You were intrigued. “I’ll like it?”

“It seems like something you’d enjoy, at least. I’m hoping you will.”

“Now you have me wanting to know more. You know this is very unprofessional of you, speaking about your group’s plans with another colleague.” You poke fun at him, leaning in. “I’m speaking to you as a friend, not a business partner. And with how much unreleased information we’ve been sharing with each other, it’s safe to say that we are more than just business partners.”

“I feel like a schoolgirl sharing secrets with someone.” You giggle, Kai’s smile growing. “I heard somewhere they call you Hyuka, can I call you that?” Why did the name sound so perfect when it rolled off your tongue? He did his best to stop his face from heating up and replied. “Yeah. You can.”

“It’s cute. I like it.”

He doesn’t reply, avoiding eye contact with you and simply replying with a nod. “You really get flustered over the smallest things, don’t you? Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Maybe it’s because I can’t believe the Y/N keeps flirting with me. Not very professional of you.”

“Oh, the irony! It’s corroding my heart…” You overdramatize, earning a snicker from the boy seated beside you. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop. I hope you know that wasn’t my intention.”

“I know. And it doesn’t. If anything, my heart beats so fast that I just can’t think of anything to say to you because I’m so focused on the fact my heart is racing in my ears.”

“So you like it?”

“I mean, who wouldn’t want to be called cute by the L/N Y/N? If anything, I’m lucky enough to be talking with you like this.”

“Now you’re the one flirting with me?” You laugh, checking your phone. “I have an interview tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous.”

“Why? You’re always great in interviews. You’re comedic, you’re stylish–“

“It’s one where the MC asks questions to get under your skin. Like a hot seat.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not… I’m not very open with my personal life. I don’t usually talk about it. He might go that far.”

“Can you not cancel?”

“Too late now. I was booked for it but didn’t care to ask what it was about since I was too busy with other things.” You feel his hand rub your shoulder reassuringly, giving you a look that said ‘it’s gonna be okay’. You sheepishly smile, his hand not leaving you for as long as you stay with him. “I just don’t want to get into controversy right before that big performance. It’s gonna ruin my confidence and my performance is gonna be shit and when I look back on it I’m gonna hate myself–“

“Y/N, you’re gonna be okay. Your fanbase would understand wholeheartedly if they are really fans of yours. They would defend you until the end of the line. Have you seen what they can do? It’s a bit terrifying.” He says, making you chuckle. “I get why you’re so nervous, but if the episode is that bad, they’d have a reason to not stream it.”

Hueningkai’s words stay with you the entire night leading up to the interview, where you’re seated in the chair and the cameras are rolling. The questions start off innocent at first, typical questions you’d get on any other interview.

“What is it like being a role model for newer idols?”

“What is your favourite performance outfit so far?”

“Is there a specific place you’d like to go to for a world tour or concert?”

Then it slowly started getting more… iffy.

“Do you have a ghost writer?”

“Did Bighit force you into the ‘sexy’ concept when you turned 19?”

“How many times have you cried over your duties as an idol?”

When it got into relationships with others, however, that’s where you drew the line.

“Have you ever had a boyfriend before?” The MC asks with a shameless smile on his face. “No.”

“Is there anyone you have your eyes on right now? A celebrity crush?”

Your face begins to burn red, your heart pounding so loud and fast you can hear it in your ears, and you’re struggling to spit out logical answers.

“Not in particular.”

“Sunghoon from Enhypen? You two are known to be close friends. Is he your type?”

“Please don’t bring my friends into this.”

“P1Harmony, what was his name… Jiung!“

“I don’t–“

“What about Hueningkai, the boy from TXT? Ever since that interview, people have been endorsing you two as a pair.”

“I don’t think you should be dictating someone to fulfill my relationship status. You have absolutely no power over me and my relationships with others, and God knows everything about me and my friends while you don’t, so keep your mouth shut.”

The whole room goes silent. You’re holding back tears and you want to swear at him so bad, but this seemed to be impactful enough already, so your eyes stare daggers into his soul, as if they pierced through his heart to make it stop beating. “Well, you certainly live up to your fiesty trait.” He laughs off, switching to the final cue card.

At the end, in your dressing room, you’re so overwhelmed with humiliation and embarrassment, the tears that couldn’t escape your eyes begin to flood again as you pull out your phone, the first person to come to mind being Hueningkai.

hyuka

are you there?

hiii!!!

how did it go?

horrible

it all went to shit

oh… are you okay?

can i see you later? same place?

sure, ill be there by 9

Your hood is on for the rest of the day, pace relentlessly fast as you walk into the headquarters. The face ID for the elevator can barely recognize you with how much you’re trying to hold back from crying, and you avoid any eye contact with the staff that join you in the small space. You finally look up when you reach the 19th floor, seeing Hueningkai turned around and looking at you, and you begin to break down then and there.

“Woah, Y/N…” He runs over, catching you before you can fall on your knees. “What happened? What did he ask?” You feel like shit knowing Kai is trying to help you, but you aren’t able to say anything because you’re so overwhelmed with tears and how embarrassing you look crying in front of him.

“Do you want to come to my place and we can talk about it? Or do you want to go to yours? The boys are just practicing vocals so it’ll be just us, no need to worry about someone overhearing.” He’s so extremely patient with you, making you cry even more. You point at him, meaning you want to go to his place, because it was the first thing that came to mind. “But what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m only worried about you.”

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who does he think he is???

i cannot believe the staff did not notice how uncomfy y/n was even after she yelled at them

the fact he just laughed it off like what?

this was so incredibly disrespectful, i dont even know how this show is still up

who is allowing this to be aired theres clearly something wrong with this

he knew he crossed a line and did not care how stupid can you be

i knew there was something off about this

imagine being scolded by y/n id disappear off the face of the planet forever

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You sat quiet in your waiting room, scrolling through the posts on social media all written about you and that damn interview. You knew you were in the right, and you hoped everyone else knew that too. Luckily, they did. They didn’t bash you for anything, their dissatisfaction going towards the MC and the show.

You received endless support and praise for standing up for yourself and putting the host in his place, and you were so incredibly relieved for that. You watched the show broadcasting patiently on the TV in your room, TXT’s title track beginning to play. You were so fixated on it that you almost forgot you were going on next, the staff calling you backstage.

When their performance ends and they come offstage, you clap and cheer for all of them as they pass by, waving at Hueningkai enthusiastically when you see him. “Hyuka!” Even under the dim light, you see him with a tired smile as he runs over to you. “Wow…” He looks at you, eyes trailing over your outfit. “You look good.”

“I could say the same for you.” Maybe it was the lighting, or how nervous you were, but seeing your friend post-performance trying to catch his breath, sweat dripping down his face, his cheeky smile as his gaze with those tired eyes doesn’t waver from yours, you knew it was wrong to be thinking such things. But he looked hot. Really hot.

“I’ll see you in your room?” You ask, and he nods, head turning away first and eyes last. God, he had a gaze that could kill you.

The metronome begins playing in your earpiece once you’re on stage, and you let your confidence take control. Hyuka’s voice plays in your ear, and if you’re being honest, the one thing that usually runs through your mind is thinking about how cool you are to be on stage and performing for such a large audience. Did it make you seem like you were full of yourself? A little bit. Did you care? No.

When the song changes, so does the mood. The lights change colour and are different brightnesses, and so does your outfit. You discard your jacket and the skirt you’re wearing, adorning a matching pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt, and a fishnet longsleeve underneath. Your title track begins, and the crowd screams so loud you can hear them over your instrumental.

After the rush of adrenaline from being able to make the crowd scream louder than ever, you walk offstage, saying thank you to all the staff as you pass by. You make a quick pitstop to your room, grabbing a few things before trying to find TXT’s. The next performers pass by and give you cheer silently, and you can’t help but smile back despite your exhaustion. You knock on their door, a staff member opening it. “Hi Y/N. How come you aren’t in your room right now?”

“Is it okay if I come in?”

“Is that Y/N?” Someone asks.

“Y/N!?” Another voice asks, who you can recognize as Hueningkai. The staff member moves aside, and there’s Hyuka, standing behind him with that goofy smile on his face. He pulls you in for an unexpected, brief hug, looking at you all thrilled. “Your performance was amazing! You looked so good up there, and the transition and your execution–“ He’s so excited that he just jumps around with glee, and you manage to laugh at his enthusiasm.

You take a seat on the empty couch with a content sigh, Hyuka then sitting next to you. “I loved your performance too. The brown hair suits you.” The colour made him look younger as if he wasn’t already, innocence along with it. “I like it. I wish you’d keep it.”

“You should’ve seen my in my group’s Magic era.”

“Do you have photos? It’s been a while since I’ve last seen it.” He pulls out his phone, photos of him from that time showing up after mere seconds of him typing it in. “You looked so cute! And so much younger…”

“We were both 17 that time, so obviously. I saw your concept during this time too. You looked cute too.”

A part of you wants to believe that he means it. Another part of you is making you think that he’s just saying it to be nice since you do that to him all the time. “So you’re saying that I’m not cute now?” You ask rhetorically, letting him search for his answer. “I’m saying that you’ve always been cute. How’s that?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” He’s looking at you so sternly that you want to believe him, and the fact he hasn’t broken out into laughter probably means that you should. “Soobin, Hueningkai is flirting with Y/N.” Beomgyu says, making you the first to break eye contact with him. “Don’t make her uncomfortable, Hueningkai.” His leader says, lounging in his chair.

“I think she likes it.”

“I do not.”

“Then why is your face so red? You don’t see me all flustered when you call me cute.”

“Actually, I do. We’re even.”

You both sit there in silence, Hueningkai scrolling on his phone mindlessly, lurking on his social media. He opens his camera to check and fix his hair, but notices you in frame, your eyes shut and head on his shoulder. You fell asleep on him.

He’s frozen in place, unsure what to do. He doesn’t move for as long as your rest on him, merely going back on his phone with a quiet chuckle. He snuck a few photos with you, and looking at them he realized that you were still as cute as he called you, even while you were asleep. When he looked up from his phone, he saw Yeonjun with his camera facing the two of you, fingers tapping on the screen.

“What are you doing?” Hyuka asks, Yeonjun immediately putting his phone away. “Nothing.” He lies, going back to using it as normal. You don’t stay asleep for long, being called back to your room by one of the other staff members. When you leave the room, Kai gets a text from Yeonjun, odd being that they were merely across the room from each other. He opens it to reveal a few images and even a video of the two of you together.

“Look at Hueningkai… Y/N is sleeping on his shoulder. Our maknae has really grown up and his crush is resting with him, they’re so cute. Saving this for when they date in the future.”

You nearly doze off in your own waiting room until your phone buzzes in your hand, a text from Hyuka appearing. It’s photos of the two of you, mostly of you sleeping on his shoulder while Hyuka is on his phone or taking selfies with you.

you looked so peaceful i felt bad when i had to wake you up

were you about to sleep in your room? im sorry if i woke you up again :(

ah its okay

who took the other photos?

yeonjun

were you just on your phone the entire time

i didn’t wanna wake you up!

can i come back

im not sure let me ask

👍

no u cant cuz the show is almost over

aw man

we’ll talk tomorrow! its my off day so we have all the time in the world

you’re over exaggerating a little bit

only a little bit

:P

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Y/NS PERFORMANCE MY LORD

SHE LITERALLY ATE THAT UP

she proved that flop of an mc wrong

is that hueningkai’s voice in the background??

GUYS AM I TRIPPING OR IS THAT HYUKA

hueningkai doing the dialogue for y/n’s cover is something i didnt know i needed

r they like best friends off screen because that’d literally be so cute like y/n asking hyuka to do the vocals for her

they sound so good together omg

collab when?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2022

You were close with Hueningkai. You talked a lot, you hung out a lot, you even did media promotions with him, and you had little inside jokes that no one seemed to get, which made them funnier.

You two also had a tendency to… flirt with each other.

You could never see if he was being serious or not, and he’d never tell you afterwards and just move on. You’d do the same, which was only fair, but you really wanted to know if he meant it. Sometimes you wished he did. Other times you didn’t care.

You did lives together, mostly consisting of gossip and eating snacks, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You even walked in on him once in the middle of one, and was unofficially invited as a guest.

You did promotional content with each other, and had a lot of pictures together in your camera roll. You almost lost important screenshots and info because of it. But every time you opened your gallery, you smiled, seeing pictures of him and the two of you messing around together reminding that there was more to life than just work.

It’s officially known by everyone, you and Hueningkai were best friends. Two peas in a pod, doing a lot of things together when you both were free. You were being shipped together, and while you were worried it made him uncomfortable, you also kind of liked it. Which begun the spiral of thoughts: did you have a crush on him?

You felt even more like a schoolgirl talking about it with your friends, except you were left alone with your own thoughts. You only flirted with each other about what, hundreds of times? He’d pat your back to calm you down, hold your hand if he noticed you shaking, run his fingers through your hair when you’d ramble, hug you when you need it, wipe off any crumbs that were left at the corner of your mouth…

He had comebacks that made your face go red, snarky replies and comments that made your heart race more than anything else, he looked hot when he was performing, like, really hot, he made sure you were the first person to see his unpublished modeling photos (all of them drove you crazy), he looked really pretty with contact lenses, he was the only person that could leave you stuttering and scrambling for words…

The list went on and on. And the more things you found out you liked about him, the more the answer became clear. You liked him. You liked your best friend.

Sure, he’s told you before that you were his celebrity crush, but that’s different. You liked him on a personal level, a level that could make or break your relationship with each other, and that was what scared you the most. You really liked him, to the point where if he rejected you, you’d go dark for a few days trying to recover.

You wanted to tell him so bad. Every time you tried, your heart would race uncontrollably and you couldn’t choke out a single word. It was almost embarrassing how flustered his simple actions made you, let alone on a livestream.

“I told my sisters about you.” He says, staring up at the clear, starlit sky. “Really?”

“My younger sister is a big fan of you, actually. She debuted this year. Older has plans to, and she says you’re really cool.”

“Tell them I say thank you. What group is your younger sister a part of?”

“Kep1er. Bahiyyih?”

“You did that Tiktok with her, I remember. You guys look scarily alike.”

“We really don’t.” You glare at him, straight faced. Hueningkai looks at you, face illuminated by the lights hidden underneath the plant fixtures. “You look pretty.” He thinks aloud, knowing you heard judging from the expression on your face.

You laugh. “I know.” You expect him to laugh the same, but his face doesn’t seem to change in any way. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“I always have been. You just never see it that way.”

“Oh.” You’re struck with a pang of guilt, cursing yourself internally. “You weren’t just being nice?”

“I meant every word I said. I hope you’re taking me seriously right now.”

It seems like I’m not, but I am. I really am.

“This is awfully bold of you, Hyuka.”

“I really like you, Y/N. How’s that for bold?”

He was being serious, unphased with genuine, meaningful eyes. “You always stayed by my side, even when I was feeling down. You remember the little things about me; my drink orders, the snacks I get, my habits, and merely being able to see you makes my day a whole lot better.”

You’re standing there, mouth slightly hanging, unable to say anything. The words are stuck in your throat, and you want to say something, but you feel like you’re gonna faint if you speak a single word.

“I… I can’t…” You’re too embarrassed to face him, knowing his eyes are on you. “I need to go…” You mutter, hand brushing over his for a second before leaving him unanswered on the silent, dimly lit rooftop.

You’re running down the stairs, mashing the buttons on the elevators, messily typing in your key code, falling to your knees once you step foot in your dorm. You’re coughing so much from your horribly paced breathing, and the pain adds to your tears, slowly trailing down your face.

Why were you crying? You didn’t deserve to cry. You were the one that hurt him, leaving him there because you were a coward. It hurt like hell. You barely managed to clean yourself up, falling asleep the second your head hits your pillow.

Practice the following day was straightforward, but you still felt empty. You would’ve gotten a text from Hyuka already, but the only messages there are the ones from yesterday. It hurts to see it so empty, and you want to talk to him, but what if he already hated you?

Entering the elevator, you run into Taehyun and his hooded mop of black hair. “Hi Y/N.” He greets. You tip your head to greet him, guilty for being able to talk to one of Hyuka’s friends and not him himself. “You should go talk to him. He skipped out on practice today.”

“Does he hate me?”

He scoffs. “Hueningkai could never hate you. You made his life 100 times better, according to him.” He pauses and sighs as the elevator nears the floor to the cafeteria. “Even for a few hours, he really didn’t seem like himself. If anything, he’s wondering if you hate him.”

As the door opens and Taehyun steps off, you get a text from Hueningkai.

im sorry.

forget i said anything.

“Shit.” You mutter, Taehyun eyeing you the entire time until the doors close. It’s one swift ride down to the bottom floor, and again, you run, but this time faster than you did the day before, spamming the buttons on the elevator and going to his floor. You stop in front of his door, knocking on it and ringing the doorbell. “Hueningkai? It’s me.” You say. No answer.

“Hyuka? Please, can we talk?” You plead, not hearing anything from the inside. You spam his messages instead, calling him 10 times before giving up. You then remembered accidentally peeking at him entering his dorm code, but you forced yourself to forget it for the sake of his privacy. Given he wasn’t answering, you forced yourself to remember.

He jokingly scolded you that day before shutting the door, but what did he type before that?

Your faded memory punches in the series of numbers you picked out, the door suddenly unlocking. You look around, seeing an empty hallway before shutting the door and locking it, taking your shoes off and running to his room. “Hyuka?” You call, hearing muffled sniffles from a distance. That had to be him.

You didn’t bother knocking. You opened to door, seeing Hueningkai’s face all messed with tears, puffy red eyes, and his arms clinging tightly to one of his stuffed animals. His eyes widened before he hid his face with a tissue. You walk over to him, helping him wipe his face with the tissues. You quickly get up and rush to his kitchen, refilling the glass of water on the floor beside his bed.

He’s calmed down by the time you get back, accepting the glass and drinking half of it. “How did you get in?” He asks, voice hoarse. “You typed in the code once and I accidentally saw. I took a shot in the dark.” You hold his face in your hands, warming them, wiping away a fallen tear with a stroke of your thumb. He clearly didn’t remember. “I’m sorry–“

“No, don’t be. I’m sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

You sigh, heart pounding in your ears. “I was a coward for running away. It was stupid.” He chuckles. “I don’t even know why I’m crying, I just started thinking of you, and everything I’ve lost, and…” He cuts himself off, knowing he’d start crying again if he said anything else. “I’m right here. You haven’t lost anything.”

You move his hair out of his face, and all you can do is look at him. His post crying face, rosy and glistening, a content smile on his face. “I like you too, Hyuka. Your duality, your laugh, your carefulness, your personality…” You begin to look at the smaller details on his face. “Your eyes, your lashes, your jawline…”

“Your lips.”

The crank holding the two of you finally snaps, and you’re fully drawn to him.

You kiss him, and everything feels just right, sensing his surprise through the noise he made at the sudden action. It’s a first for both of you, so you could be as awkward as you needed to while learning how to kiss each other. But you were fast learners, and you got the hang of it quickly.

He pulls you closer by the waist, holding you close to him as you straddle his hips, kissing you fervently. So fervently that you swear you hear him moan in between a few kisses, and you try not to enjoy it as much as you do. Pulling away for a second to admire him, the way his chest heaves as he’s out of breath, his eyes doing the pleading for him.

You lean in closer. “Do you like being like this?” You ask, forehead against his, lips grazing over his own. “Mhm.” Your hand holds his face again, warm and tempting. “Is this what you’ve wanted?” He nods again. “For how long?”

“Too long.”

His lips are back on yours, dominant and hungry. He was the only one that could restrain you like this, and for once, you didn’t mind not being in control. His kisses move down to your neck, feeling him smirk after eliciting a groan from you.

“You can’t…” You start, feeling him stop and pull away. “People will see. We can’t risk it.”

Being in the industry meant that lying out of hickeys was nonexistent. Dating scandals would come abuzz and the only thing people would ask you for the next few weeks was who gave you that purple mark on your neck.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

The door suddenly opens, and you’re met with a shaken Beomgyu, eyes wide and jaw dropped. You immediately get off of Hueningkai, putting your hood back on and sitting on the side of the bed, gesturing zipped lips to the poor boy. “Soobin! They’re– they’re… Y/N’s here!” Beomgyu rephrases, a better choice of words than what you assumed he’d say.

“I’m sorry. That was a dick move of me.”

“It was. All I wanted was closure, and I got it, so it’s okay.”

His hand rests on top of yours. “Can I be your boyfriend, Y/N?” You blush, face hot as if you weren’t just making out with him a few minutes ago. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. But what about our label?”

“You’re closer with Bang than I am. Could you talk to him?” You nod, kissing him one last time before leaving, avoiding eye contact with Soobin and Beomgyu on the way out. You bump into Taehyun on the way to the door. He looks at you with a smile, following with an affirmative nod and letting you go.

Taehyun budges through the border of Soobin and Beomgyu at his own bedroom door, Yeonjun peeking over and seeing Hueningkai all red and smiley. “What happened?” The oldest asks, eyes still on the youngest.

“Y/N happened.” Soobin answers, Yeonjun’s gaze locked on the maknae. Maybe it was his older brother genes that he noticed something different than the Hueningkai he saw this morning, but judging from the fact you walked out with your hood on, Hyuka’s shirt being slightly crumpled, his blanket gathered at the footboard, some of his plushies fallen out of place, and slight tinges of pink on and surrounding his mouth, he deduced you two had a little bit of fun.

“Took him long enough.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2023

Your relationship was smooth sailing as it ever could be with your schedules. A member of your team had to arrange a meeting with Bang discussing the relationship between you and Hueningkai. Keeping it a secret would have been the better option, but knowing Hyuka, he’d still show you off to everyone even if being scolded to keep quiet about it for hours on end.

Bang said he ‘had a hunch’ from the first interview, not showing any objection, but naming the risks and controversies that would come with the publicity of your romance. You two were too lovestruck to care about public opinions, but you still were wary of your interactions with each other, Hueningkai especially, knowing that getting into a scandal only involving himself would bring the group down with him.

You two were content with the way things were, but Hyuka tended to have the mindset of, ‘if it happens, it happens’ despite being so cautious, and you’re sure the staff members at Music Bank saw the two of you being intimate in the halls because your boyfriend just had to kiss your forehead at that time, no sooner or later.

Rumors started to arise, given how close the two of you had become. You were always close, but this time you were much closer. There were a lot of behind the scenes cameras at music shows, sometimes catching the two of you in the background together. Once you were even caught with Hyuka taking a nap on your thighs, and that only further proved the existence of the two of you dating.

The one time you decide not to wear a mask and just your hat, paparazzi caught the two of you holding hands on the way back, those gossip articles really planting all previous evidence as if their life was on the line.

Both of you never confirmed anything to the public. You simply just moved on with your lives as if nothing ever happened. It was brought up in a few interviews, but you managed to avoid answering questions on terms of your relationship, using the excuse of privacy.

It was surprising to everyone when they saw a video uploaded on TXT’s channel titled something along the lines of: ‘Hueningkai’s first date’, you couldn’t remember it off the top of your head. But you did vividly remember officially stating that the two of you were going out, and have been going out for a while.

The feedback was, as far as you knew, positive. Being dubbed as ‘the duo we’ve been waiting for’ or ‘netizens’ favourite couple’, you mostly appreciated the fact that you didn’t receive any threats, and only a loss of some fans. Maybe people just couldn’t handle the fact that you two looked so damn good together.

“What are you watching?” Hueningkai asks from the kitchen, seeing you staring at your phone intensely. “Your interview. You’re throwing away your plushies? But I got you one.”

“I’m keeping yours, of course. I’m getting rid of my hoarding habits, so I don’t really want anymore as gifts. Yours will always have a special place in my heart, and I’m never gonna get rid of it.”

“Can I at least keep one?” He considers it for a moment, then nods. “Sure. Which?” You don’t even have to think about it. “Honey.”

“Really?”

“You let me hold him when you invited me here so I could cry and rant after that shitty interview. So that one will also have a special place in my heart. It was also the first one you offered to me. Maybe when I’m alone and I have it in my arms I’ll think of you.”

“You can have him, since he means that much to you.” The sink turns off, shaking the water off his hands and drying them, going to his room and retrieving his, well, now your stuffed animal. The moment you hold it, your thoughts are flooded with nothing but of Hueningkai, despite the fact he took a seat right next to you, placing an arm around your shoulders.

“Jesus, you look fuckin’ sexy in these photos.” You say, zooming in and saving them to your camera roll shamelessly. “Speak for yourself. Front cover on Vogue? You looked so beautiful in those photos. I’m so incredibly lucky.”

You put your phone down, turning to hear his answer. “How so?”

“That you’re my girlfriend. That I get to be your boyfriend. That I get to see your beautiful face every single day, and that I know little things about you that others don’t.”

You chuckle. “I want to kiss you so bad, but the others are gonna come back soon and God knows we won’t be able to stop.” His hand gracefully holds your jaw, his finger tracing along your jawline to let himself move his face closer to yours. He speaks in a whisper.

“Then don’t.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

if you’re really, really tired, i want to hug you and pat you to sleep. i just miss you, even right now. 🎧

#hueningkai #huening kai #hueningkai x reader #hueningkai x y/n #txt #txt huening kai #hueningkai txt #tomorrow x together #tomorrow by together #huening kai x reader #huening kai x you #txt x reader #fluff #txt fluff #fanfiction #idek im downbad

[nohchuri]

｡･ﾟﾟ･ ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆. ☆ happy smiley bee

bee ･ ﾟﾟ･✦ 4teen ✦･ ﾟﾟ･ she/her ･ ﾟﾟ･✦ entp-t

ıllııllııllııllı ⋆ i'll catch you on the east side ☁︎⊹⁺

about me

hi i'm bee <33 14, been into kpop since 2021. absolutely love making and listening to music. writing has been a little hobby of mine for quite some time now. i'm a debate champion, and no i don't live in America, or anywhere in that continent.

i'm a south indian <33 and I might go inactive after July because I have boards this year :D

entp-t, never changes for some reason. I have 2 best friends and way too many friends. absolutely extroverted offline, might be introverted online sometimes.

stan list

☁︎ boynextdoor ⋆ jaehyun, woonhak, taesan

☁︎ tws ⋆ kyungmin, dohoon

☁︎ enhypen ⋆ niki

☁︎ nct dream ⋆ jisung, jaemin, chenle

☁︎ treasure ⋆ jihoon, asahi, junkyu, doyoung

☁︎ txt ⋆ taehyun

☁︎ zerobaseone ⋆ ricky, taerae, yujin

☁︎ itzy ⋆ ryujin

☁︎ nmixx ⋆ bae, lily, kyujin

☁︎ lesserafim ⋆ kazuha

☁︎ newjeans ⋆ danielle

☁︎ i'll:it ⋆ minju, moka

+ more coming soon ^o^

blog

strictly sfw only <33 angst, fluff, and humor, maybe mystery and law type, but only sfw works.

#boynextdoor #riize #zerobaseone #nct dream #r u next? #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zb1 jiwoong #🗺 : bee's maps