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cinnaminsvga · 4 years

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Hug-o-gram | Yoongi

→ summary:

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font.

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K → a/n: another commission by the lovely @jincherie because she’s epic like that!! she literally just told me to write whatever the hell i wanted and well... yoobie got me Good... anyway here’s more yoongi fluff bc apparently i’m a fluff writer now and sometimes i just want my boy to be happy... appa yip yip

Kim Seokjin makes a lot of good decisions. He also makes plenty of bad ones, but he likes to think the score is lying heavily towards the positives. Min Yoongi will be the first one to quickly disagree, but Seokjin doesn’t let it get to him. He doesn’t make it his business to listen to opinions that don’t immediately align with his, anyway; he likes to call it “selective hearing.” Yoongi calls it stupidity. Either way, the point still stands: Seokjin knows a good idea when he sees one. Case in point:

“This automatic popcorn machine is absolutely divine,” Seokjin moans, his mouth agape as he waits for the Mister Popcorn Robot to bestow him with another morsel of goodness.

“Yeah,” is Yoongi’s verbose reply. He also has his mouth agape, his prone body lying side by side with his roommate of four years in their small living room. Their roomba (another one of Seokjin’s good ideas) cleans all around them, its steady whirring serving as their only source of background music. “Lowkey though, I think our position isn’t quite… as optimized as it could be.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks, as he drapes his leg over Yoongi’s. His movement jostles the surrounding popcorn halo around them, as most of the food had missed their mouths by a couple of centimeters. At this point, the roomba has probably eaten more of the popcorn than the two of them combined.

“Nothing,” Yoongi shrugs, or whatever might be the lying down equivalent of a shrug. Some of the popcorn on his chest falls down, only to be quickly devoured by roomba-chi. Yoongi stares at the ceiling, tracing shapes out of the cracks that Seokjin had accidentally made when he tried using a pogo stick indoors. He points up, catching Seokjin’s attention. “Hey, hyung. Doesn’t that look a bit like Y/N?”

Seokjin squints. “You mean the mysterious brown stain near the lights? I think the toilet from the elderly couple upstairs might have leaked that.”

“No, you dipshit. The squiggly curve over there. It reminds me of her smile.” Yoongi says. There’s a stupid dopey grin on his face and Seokjin wants nothing more than to wipe it off.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Seokjin groans, turning over to envelop Yoongi in a sweaty half-armed hug. The buttery residue on his arms and stomach leaves something to be desired, but Yoongi doesn’t scoot away. He only continues to sigh dreamily, staring mindlessly at the image of you that only his lovelorn brain can imagine.

Seokjin slaps Yoongi in the face. “Dude, get a fucking grip,” he grouses, giving Yoongi a serious look. The younger doesn’t break out of his trance, further irritating him. “Will you stop pining in front of my popcorn? It’s seriously making roomba-chi lose her appetite!”

To his credit, roomba-chi did seem to be slowing down, though that could also be because it had overloaded with popcorn and was seconds away from exploding. Wouldn’t be the first time, but Seokjin always managed to find a way to save roomba-chi from imminent death. She was like a daughter to him.

“Hyung, you know I can’t. I just… God, I really like her, you know?”

“That’s the third time you said that within the last hour. Believe me, I know.” Seokjin groans, shoving Yoongi away. He sits up, reaching over to the popcorn machine and switching it off. He grabs a fistful of fallen popcorn from the ground and shoves it inside Yoongi’s mouth. “There. That should shut you up.”

“Aw weawwy wike hew, hwung.”

“And yet, you still haven’t done anything after four years,” Seokjin tuts, finally standing up. He stretches his limbs, his joints creaking youthfully. He grabs his phone from the coffee table, nearly dropping it from the butteriness of his fingers. The clock reads 4:32 PM, which means–

“Yoongi, it’s time for me to head to work. You want to come with me today?” Seokjin asks, though he knows what answer he’s going to get. You see, Seokjin’s new booming business is another one of his fantastic ideas, but it is a little... inventive. Sure, Yoongi had scoffed when he had originally suggested the idea, but Seokjin knew that it was going to be a money-maker. Sure, it had taken a few years for the business to really take off, but once it finally did…

Enter Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service! Students from his university are able to send anonymous payments directly to him, with little notes attached for their crushes. Each love letter delivery comes with a hug from Seokjin himself, delivered straight to the person without them ever knowing who the hug came from. It was ingenious! It was lucrative! But most of all…

It allowed Seokjin to cause drama and have an excuse for it! Nothing could have been more perfect for a man like him.

“No thanks,” Yoongi snorts, rolling over to face him. He watches from the floor as Seokjin changes into a butter-less shirt, which also happens to have his own face printed on the front and back. His trusty cardboard sign that reads “I’m Gonna Glomp Ya!” also joins his attire for the afternoon, a long piece of string tied to its edges so that he can wear it around his neck. Throwing on a pair of white sneakers with the tags still attached, Seokjin is ready to tackle today’s list of would-be hug-ees.

“How do I look?” Seokjin asks, combing his hair with his fingers. It leaves an oily sheen, which he somehow makes it work.

“Ugly,” Yoongi says, like a liar.

“It’s okay, I understand. I can speak tsundere, so you don’t need to explain,” Seokjin snickers, nearly getting hit with a TV remote by Yoongi. He opens his phone again, swiping to his e-mail to see his list of hug deliveries for the day.

Seokjin gets around 10 requests a day, with around half of them coming from regular clients. He’s especially fond of this boy who has been sending hugs to his TA named Namjoon for almost a month now. He has no idea why this kid has so much disposable income, though seeing the blush on Namjoon’s face everyday makes Seokjin think that he would spend every last penny for him too. Namjoon had begged Seokjin for his secret admirer’s identity, but snitchin’ isn’t a part of his service, unfortunately.

As much as Seokjin wants to know who is crushing on who, his little business wouldn’t work as well as it did if anonymity wasn’t included in his package deal. It allows people to thirst in public without facing the repercussions, like getting a knee to the groin or a slap to the face. Not that Seokjin has ever been at the receiving end of that; everyone loves him! Like, have you seen him? He must have saved a civilization in the past with how devastatingly beautiful his forehead is.

“Why am I suddenly filled with the relentless urge to deck you right now?” Yoongi says, getting up to change into clean clothes as well. His black t-shirt unfortunately does not have Seokjin’s face on it, but that can quickly be amended if the elder of the two decides to follow his every intrusive whim.

Seokjin laughs, completely unaware of the murderous capabilities of his friend. Due to his smaller body size, his percentage of evil is unusually concentrated. “Maybe it’s because you know that I’m into pain pla–” but Seokjin’s retort suddenly grinds to a halt. He chokes mid-sentence, coughing wildly as he pounds his chest with a balled-up fist. When Yoongi looks up at him, he finds his hyung staring slack-jawed at his phone, seemingly flabbergasted by what he finds on his screen.

“What’s the matter? Accidentally sent a dick pic to your prof again?” Yoongi snorts.

“That was one time! And no, it’s…” Seokjin trails off, uncharacteristically hesitant. He shifts his gaze from his phone to Yoongi, a drop of sweat quickly forming on the back of his neck. Yoongi raises a brow, silently urging him to continue.

Instead of replying, Seokjin hands him his phone. Yoongi finds a copy of one of Seokjin’s newest hug requests, only having just received it five minutes ago. As he scrolls down, he finds that this secret admirer is a new client, but that isn’t what made Seokjin stop in his tracks. Instead, it’s the recipient of the hug that catches his attention–

“Y/N has a secret admirer?” Yoongi says, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, trying his best to school his face into something less… jealous. He swivels away from Seokjin, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. He convinces himself that he is the very epitome of calmness.

“You okay there, Yoongi? You look like you’re about to vomit,” Seokjin says, immediately breaking his inner peace. Yoongi groans loudly, shucking the phone over his shoulder, uncaring of where it lands. Seokjin, with his superhuman and God-given reflexes… doesn’t catch it. But he did dive to the floor like a seasoned Olympian, and his ass cushioned his phone so he supposes that’s a win.

Back to the matter at hand––

“I am fine,” Yoongi says, as he continues to not be fine.

From the floor, Seokjin shoots him a disbelieving look. He lies down more comfortably, propping his head on his elbows. Screw his hug-o-gram appointments for now; nothing brings him more joy than seeing Yoongi absolutely losing it. “Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I marched up to Y/N right now and give her the warmest, coziest, most tender hug of her fucking life?”

“Y… Yes,” Yoongi squeaks, neck glowing a furious red. He has his fists clenched (adorably) by his sides, head bowed as he faces the wall of their apartment. Seokjin’s brain makes the unhelpful comparison of Yoongi with that cat meme who says “no talk me angy” in Impact font.

Seokjin grins, his wickedness from within coiling and yearning to burst from his seams. This is it! Maybe if he pushes a little more, then maybe Yoongi will stop pining like a pathetic loser! Also, it didn’t hurt that he got to push Yoongi’s buttons while he’s at it, but hey! Not all heroes go to heaven or whatever.

He grabs his phone from his ass, scrolling back to the e-mail. “So… You wouldn’t mind if I walk up to Y/N right now and tell her ‘Hey! I’ve had an embarrassingly long crush on you and when I heard about this hugging service… I couldn’t miss the chance to shoot my shot! If you’re single and ready to #mingle, then please meet me at the Corner Cafe at 2 PM tomorrow.’” Seokjin sing-songs, snickering loudly when he sees the absolute pain etched onto Yoongi’s face.

There is a pause, and Seokjin waits as Yoongi uses his tiny kitty brain to think of what to do. He can only imagine what’s going inside his head, but he has a guess. Yoongi could either: 1) finally admit his feelings for you and come clean before Seokjin has to deliver your hug, or 2) do something stupid and counterproductive.

It comes as no surprise when Yoongi goes with option number––

“Hyung, let me come with you to work today,” Yoongi decides, walking over Seokjin’s prone body to their shoe rack. He slides into a pair of sneakers, his harried movements unusual for his customary lethargicness. He grabs a coat from its hanger, stomping his feet to get Seokjin to move faster. “C’mon! We have hugs to deliver.”

“Woah woah woah! Slow down there, Simpimus Prime.” Seokjin gets back up to his feet, skipping over to him. An absolutely feral grin is stretched upon his face. “Am I hearing what you’re saying? Are you offering… to deliver hugs with yours truly? Are you finally going to take up my offer to be an employee at Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service?”

“Of course not,” Yoongi scoffs, but his shifting eyes betray him. He fidgets in place, refusing to return Seokjin’s eager gaze. “I just… wanted to go out for once. Yeah.”

“Yoongi.”

“What?”

“You haven’t left this apartment other than to go to class in over a month. You never go out. You’re an indoor cat!”

“I’m not a fucking cat,” Yoongi hisses, like a cat. “And of course I go out! There was that one time I went outside to pick up our food delivery last week.”

Judging from Seokjin’s unimpressed stare, Yoongi’s excuse doesn’t cut it. Yoongi flaps his arms around, defeated. “Okay, fine! I rarely go out! Screw me and the bounteous crapload of assignments I have due! It’s not my fault I don’t have the time to socialize and have fun. What do you want from me?”

What Seokjin wants is to push a confession out of Yoongi, not because he needs the confirmation, but mostly because he just wants to annoy Yoongi and say “I told you so!” He’s also pretty cute when he’s all blushy and tsundere whenever he talks about you. Should he film him and sell the footage on eboys.bb? He’s certain that goth boy over here would make a pretty penny.

“You like krabby patties, don’t you Squidward?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Yoongi sniffs, nose upturned. He opens the door, not looking behind him to see Seokjin’s triumphant expression. “C’mon. Y/N’s last class of the day ends in a few minutes and we might catch her before she leaves the Science Building.”

Seokjin snorts. He is quick to slip his own coat on and he follows soon after. He locks their door shut, hopping over to Yoongi and matching his shorter-legged pace. “Yeah. Because you totally just know her schedule at the top of your head. You know, like a normal person.”

Yoongi ignores him. He trudges on, each step filled with determination as they make their way to Seokjin’s beat-up truck. Seokjin skips alongside him, observing the younger boy and placing bets inside his mind. The drive to campus isn’t that long as it only takes around 10 minutes to get there, but Seokjin guesses that Yoongi’s defenses will begin to chip away only 3 minutes into the drive.

He’ll start to realize the gravity of the situation, the cogs in his smooth and slushy excuse of a brain slowly comprehend what he’s about to witness. He’ll first think about how 1) he’s going to see you and that never helps his poor dainty grandpa heart and 2) he’s going to see you hugging Seokjin as he reads to you the short love confession from your anonymous Romeo. Seokjin bets that after 8 minutes, Yoongi will start to break out into a sweat, leaving gross perspiration marks on his good car seat leather.

After exactly 7 minutes and 34 seconds (Seokjin was keeping track of the time on his dashboard), Yoongi’s face turns an unflattering shade of green. “Dude. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Yoongi had originally offered to drive the two of them to campus, but Seokjin had the good foresight to refuse. Had Yoongi been the one on the wheel, he would’ve brought them back home in an instant due to nerves. So instead, Seokjin speeds up, ignoring Yoongi’s soft whimpers of defeat.

“Too bad, but there is no turning back now. I have six deliveries today and I am not putting my livelihood on the line just because your balls have magically shrunk in size,” Seokjin snickers. He glances at Yoongi from the corner of his eye and feels the slightest touch of pity for the pathetic fool beside him. “But if it really makes you want to shit yourself from anxiety, we could save Y/N for last. Though, on second thought… That could also prolong your misery, which I will always be up for.”

“God, shut up,” Yoongi groans, slamming his head on the dashboard. Seokjin continues undeterred as he pulls into the campus parking lot, waiting for his friend to make up his damn mind for once in his life. He supposes that he is being a little harsh on Yoongi, but there are only so many sad love songs he can listen to without going completely insane.

Aren’t you tired of being nice? The demon on his shoulder cajoles, shoving the corpse of his angel counterpart somewhere down a ditch. Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

And who is Seokjin to deny his impulsive needs anyway?

“No, let’s… just get this over with,” Yoongi decides, head still smushed against his dashboard. He doesn’t make any move to get out of the car, not even when Seokjin shuts off the engine and makes a show of “leaving” Yoongi behind.

“Okay, lover boy. You have ten seconds to get your butt into high gear before I’m leaving you behind. And you should know that I’m not above playing dirty and giving Y/N the sweetest fucking hug of her life that will make her forget anyone else exists in this world, so you better start moving before I–”

Like lightning, Yoongi scrambles out of the car faster than if it had caught on fire (and Seokjin’s car has exploded before and Yoongi certainly did not seem as bothered to escape than he does right now.) He nearly trips over himself in his haste, getting caught by the car door and nearly receiving a concrete facial to boot. He straightens up with as much dignity as he can muster (which he doesn’t have very much of, if at all.) Seokjin is kind enough not to mention anything, but the shit-eating grin on his face is enough to make Yoongi bristle.

They exit the parking lot, looking to the world like the sun and moon had turned human for the day. Min Yoongi, with his all-black attire and gaunt appearance, is heavily juxtaposed with the man who appears to have been vomited on by a rainbow. They walk side-by-side together, accustomed to the stares that often come their way when they go out in public.

“I just can’t believe we’re doing this,” Yoongi moans for the umpteenth time, his movements stilted like a robot. His footsteps look heavily disjointed like his knees were beginning to rust. His arms swing like a pendulum, adding to the unnaturalness of his motions. Basically, he looks like a fucking idiot.

“Who are you calling an idiot?” Yoongi snaps. Seokjin startles a bit, realizing belatedly that he’d said that out loud. Not that he cares. Yoongi continues, “I’m not the one wearing a fucking cardboard sign that looks like a toddler made it with macaroni and glitter!”

“Hey, Taehyung told me it looked good,” Seokjin sniffs, fingering the macaroni pieces dejectedly. “I don’t need to hear an opinion from a Music major.”

“Shut up, Business major. No one likes you fucking snakes,” Yoongi retorts, crossing his arms. “Your definition of fun is going on LinkedIn and using Excel sheets.”

Distracted by their own quarrel, neither of them notice the sound of the large clock in the middle of campus that chimes every hour, signaling that it was already 5 PM. A few minutes later, hoards of students begin to leave university for the day, the walkways beginning to fill with people as they head home. Amidst the chattering and bustling of everyone trying to get out of the crowd, it is hard to notice that you are also one of the hundreds of people finishing your last class of the day.

But Yoongi notices, as he always does. Call it Y/N intuition, or whatever. “There,” Yoongi points you out over dozens of heads. Seokjin can hardly spot you, but he trusts Yoongi’s weird Y/N-dar to find you without fail. People have begun to notice the two of them, most of whom were whispering excitedly when they notice that Seokjin is in his work attire.

“Oh my god, someone’s getting a hug-o-gram! I wonder who…”

“Have you ever ordered one? I got one for my current girlfriend last month and that’s how we got together.”

“I’ve always wanted to send one, but the prices are insane! Fuck them business students and their capitalist ways.”

“Screw sending a hug to someone else! I wanna order a hug for me. Kim Seokjin is a hot piece of ass.”

(Yoongi swears the last comment had sounded eerily like Seokjin himself, but the older boy’s mouth hadn’t moved in the last minute.)

“Alright, Yoongi. Here’s the plan,” Seokjin leans closer to Yoongi, stage whispering into his ear. Everyone within a six-foot radius is eagerly eavesdropping, not even bothering to pretend that they aren’t. It’s common knowledge that Seokjin basks in their attention, anyway. Yoongi rolls his eyes, urging him to get it over with.

“Y/N is over there, right? Well, I have to send a hug to this guy named Mark Lee too, who just so happens to be over there,” Seokjin points behind them, in the opposite direction of where Y/N was heading, “so here’s my proposition. You go over to Y/N and deliver the hug for me, while I go catch up to Mark so that we can kill one bird with two stones!”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi wheezes, pushing Seokjin away from him. His eyes bug out. “Are you insane? I am not doing that. And the phrase is ‘killing two birds with one stone,’ you fucking idiot.”

“Same shit, Shakespeare! Who cares about numbers!” Seokjin exclaims, exasperated. “Listen, would you rather you hug Mark and I hug Y/N?”

“I would much rather prefer that I stick my whole fist up your anus,” Yoongi seethes.

“Interesting proposition, but maybe for a later time,” Seokjin says, not missing a beat. “Listen, dude. The longer we prolong this little bitchfest you have going on, the farther away Y/N is gonna get. You know I will stop at nothing to deliver her hug anyway, so would you rather you miss your chance right now when I am so magnanimously offering you a shot at getting closer to your crush?”

Even though Yoongi feels like his insides were slowly turning into mashed potatoes, he knows that he had already made a decision long before they left the house. Seokjin is right; this is a good opportunity for him, whether he is willing to admit it out loud. Perhaps it is just because it is Seokjin of all people who is egging him on that preprogrammed him into thinking that this was a bad idea. In all seriousness, it was just a hug, nothing fancy. It isn’t like Yoongi was going to have to kiss you––

(His heart contracts and Yoongi wonders if he’s having a stroke. The thought of your soft lips connecting with his is enough to cause the wind to knock out of his chest. God, Yoongi is so screwed.)

“Why must I always feel as though I am a snail and God is personally salting me,” Yoongi groans, stepping away from Seokjin and heading your way. Behind him, Seokjin hollers in what he assumes is friendly support, but it only further antagonizes Yoongi. The absolute buffoon waves enthusiastically from behind him, a beaming grin almost ready to split his face in two. Yoongi flips him off without looking back.

God fucking dammit. The closer that Yoongi is to approaching you, the stronger the urge to just evaporate like ice cream on hot concrete becomes. He can feel himself perspiring from every corner of his body and he just hopes that his black attire will do well to mask the slimy creature that he is underneath his clothing.

This is all Seokjin’s fault, Yoongi reminds himself. If he hadn’t started this stupid hugging service in the first place, then no one would have ordered a hug for you in the first place. Then Yoongi wouldn’t have to be in this stupid predicament either!

But you could’ve ordered a hug for her if you wanted to, says the annoying part of his brain – the same part that’s always been a little bit too hopeful for Yoongi’s liking. The whispers continue, And she wouldn’t even know it would be you! But more importantly…

“Seokjin wouldn’t know either,” Yoongi huffs irritably because he knows it’s true. The biggest thing stopping him from ever making a move on you, other than his debilitating fear of rejection and heartbreak, is the fact that he’d rather explode into spores than for Seokjin to find out that he’d used his “genius” business idea to get the girl of his dreams.

He’s afraid that one day, Seokjin would magically develop telepathic powers (a fear that Yoongi feels that the majority of the human population should also share) and find out that Yoongi doesn’t actually think his hug-o-gram service is dumb. It’s actually really cute, and Yoongi hates to admit that the success rate of his service is nearly perfect in terms of getting couples together.

But Yoongi is a strong (read: stubborn) man; he’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin the satisfaction of seeing his business work out for his seemingly hopeless case. Which brings him to the present–

You’re standing by the entrance of the Sciences building. You are dressed nicely as always; Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever seen you in anything remotely slobby, not even a pair of sweats like any regular uni student. You always look a little bit business proper: the epitome of someone who should be on the student council.

You’re speaking to someone, a younger male student by the looks of it. The hairs on Yoongi’s neck stand at attention and, God forbid, did he just fucking growl? Did he make that sound? By the looks of the students carefully navigating their way around him, Yoongi surmises that he did make that sound. Geez, is he some sort of animal? Is he going to turn into those feral stan accounts on Twitter that salivate over their K-pop boys like it’s their job? He hopes not.

But what if that’s the kid who sent the hug–

Yoongi shuts up his brain before he can let it finish. No, he can’t let himself go down that path. It’ll only cause him to self-combust right then and there, and he isn’t exactly keen on letting you see his entrails anytime soon. That would be the least cool thing to do, he decides. And so, with his brain turned off, he walks over to you, arms swinging robotically by his sides as he forces himself closer.

“Oh thank you so much, Y/N! You’ve been a real help to our club, you know?” The boy (Yoongi can’t believe they’re letting toddlers into university these days!) says, his eyes glittering with an ambition that still hasn’t been killed by the all-consuming dread that comes with university.

You laugh lightly, the sound causing butterflies to flutter excitedly in Yoongi’s chest. “No worries, Soobin. I’m glad I could be of help. If the editorial board needs any more help, don’t be shy to shoot me a message, alright?”

Soobin nods enthusiastically, his head bobbing up and down so quickly that Yoongi was afraid his neck would snap. “No worries, Y/N! Have a good rest of your week!” He waves a cheery goodbye, springing away with his numerous anime keychains on his backpack jingling softly in his wake.

“What a cute kid,” you sigh. You look incredibly fond, and Yoongi hates the bitter coil swimming in the pit of his stomach. That feeling soon fizzles out when you finally turn to face Yoongi. Your eyebrows shoot up, but your expression quickly morphs into one of pleasant surprise. Yoongi’s heart stops for just a moment, feet turning cold. “Yoongi! Oh my goodness, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen you! How’s it going?”

Let’s play a game, shall we? How many of Yoongi’s nervous ticks can you spot within the next five minutes? Think of this as the easiest game of Where’s Waldo ever!

“Hnng,” Yoongi stammers, his hand immediately going to scratch the back of his neck. His cheeks pinken, pupils shaking in every different direction as they try to focus on anything but you. It always feels like he’s standing way too close to the sun when he’s around you, hardly able to keep his gaze focused on you. He chooses to stare resolutely at your chin, but even your fucking chin was impossibly cute.

Seriously? Yoongi is a walking shitshow! His inner voice comes back, but this time it sounds uncannily like his roommate. Come on, buddy. Just say hi… You know, like a normal person. “H… Hey, Y/N.”

Success count: 1 point for the Yogurt Machine!

Even though Yoongi felt like he was living his worst nightmare, you still looked every bit like his favorite daydream. You are all smiles, seemingly unperturbed by Yoongi’s slow, embarrassing demise. “It’s so good to see you! Midterms haven’t been too hard on you, I hope?”

“I’ve been better,” he says. Better now that you’re here, he leaves unsaid. God, can you imagine if he said that out loud?

Your mouth drops open, soft cherry blossoms blooming across your cheeks. “Um, what did you say?” you squeak, embarrassed. But certainly not as embarrassed as the boy in front of you.

Yoongi stops breathing. He did not say that aloud, had he? Judging by the awkward silence stretching between the two of you, the signs are pointing to: yes. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygo–– “Er, what I mean to say is,” Yoongi stutters through his sentence, his entire body flushing fire engine red like it’s nobody’s business. He must look like Satan’s spanked ass right now. “I… I’m here to deliver a hug!”

Confusion quickly replaces the shock on your face. You tilt your head, brows scrunching up cutely. “A hug?” you ask.

“R-right,” Yoongi says, waving his arms around because he has nothing else better to do. He gestures vaguely in the opposite direction, where Seokjin had left to find his other clients. “I’m, uhh… Helping my roommate. Have you heard of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram service?”

“Oh, yeah!” You hop excitedly in place, looking to all the world like the cutest thing in the universe. Yoongi thinks you should be classified as a public hazard, what with how you’re somehow able to give him diabetes just from standing next to him. “I totally heard about that! I’ve always wanted to send a hug, but I’ve always been a little shy.”

That piques Yoongi’s interest immediately. You wanted to send a hug? But to who? He unconsciously clenches his jaw, and he can feel a vein pop up near his neck. He forces himself to smile, but he knows it probably looks more like a grimace. “Oh really? That’s… I didn’t know you had a crush on somebody.”

Yoongi is too busy wallowing in his own self-pity puddle that he misses the way you gaze shyly up at him through your eyelashes, your hands clasped behind your back. “Y-yea… I don’t really go around telling it to just anybody,” you shrug as nonchalantly as you can. You clear your throat. “So, are you here to deliver a hug or something?”

Nothing gets past you, huh? Yoongi swallows thickly as he twiddles his thumbs. He still can’t bear to look at you head-on, afraid that his emotions would be too obvious if he did. (Who is he kidding… He knows he’s fucking obvious, and yet you never seem to get the picture!) “Yea, I am. I’m here to deliver one to you, actually.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction, but he does notice the way your entire body stiffens. His mind immediately starts to run a minute, trying to guess why you’d suddenly gone stock still.

Did you know who your secret admirer was already? Or perhaps, were you just thoroughly shocked to receive one at all? That can’t be it… You’re the campus sweetheart! Surely it’s much weirder that it has taken eons for you to get your first hug… Or perhaps, are you so disgusted by the thought of him delivering the hug? Oh my god, what if you didn’t want him to hug you? Shit, this entire thing is a terrible idea! How did Seokjin ever convince him to do this stupid shit and get his heartbroken in the process? He swears he’s going to shove ten firecrackers up his ass the next time he sees him––

“Um, Yoongi?” You’re staring worriedly at him, your hand semi-raised as if you were about to wave in front of him. Did you say something? He must look like a fucking prick to you! He shakes his head, trying desperately to get his mind back into his body. Why must he be cursed with inner monologue disease? What is he, some sort of shoujo manga male protagonist?

“Sorry about that. I’ve been a little spacey these days,” he laughs, but even he can hear the panic laced in his voice. He sounds just on the edge of being hysterical. “Ahaha… What were you saying?”

“I was just… shocked?” You giggle softly, making Yoongi cry internally. You smirk, mischief glittering in your eyes. “I just never imagined you’d be the type to… I don’t know…”

“Willingly hug people for the sake of capitalism? I feel you,” Yoongi snorts, forgetting for a moment who he’s talking to. “Believe me, I’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin to use me for his stupid business venture.”

“Then why are you delivering a hug to me now?” you ask, still smiling.

“Hnng,” Yoongi’s tongue feels like it’s grown two sizes all of a sudden. He wheezes, choking on his own spit as he’s caught off guard by your question. “W-well, I––”

“Just being a good friend, I’m guessing?” You’re full-on giggling now, barely trying to hide your mirth behind your hands. Yoongi understands now; you’re teasing him. He hates how amused you are by his awkwardness, but he loves the way your entire expression lights up, like you’re enjoying yourself by being with him.

“Let’s go with that,” Yoongi mumbles, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. He has his head bowed, hoping that his unruly fringe can finally come in handy and hide the disastrous blush encompassing his face. “Right… I’ll just, umm…”

“Am I getting my hug today, or am I gonna have to take a rain check?” You laugh, slapping his shoulder in an attempt to help him shake off the awkward tension. It has the opposite intended effect, as Yoongi’s breath hitches imperceptibly at your proximity. You had taken a step closer, and Yoongi could smell the sweet perfume you always seemed to be wearing. Please don’t pop a boner right now. That would be super fucking creepy.

“You’re…” Yoongi hesitates, arms uselessly immobile by his sides. He doesn’t know if he can even get them to move at this point, as he has lost all motor skills the moment you had focused all your attention on him. It’s a miracle that his heart remembers to beat every so often. “I’m just… I’m just gonna go for it, okay?”

You nod, hands tucked neatly behind your back. “No need to be scared, Yoongi. I don’t bite,” you joke.

God, if you only knew about the dreams I’ve had of you. Yoongi hopes to all the deities from up above that he had not said that aloud, but you don’t seem to be disgusted, so he can only assume that his traitorous brain had disconnected with his mouth for the time being.

He shuffles closer to you, the warmth of your body closing in as he makes the grueling effort to lift his arms up to gently wrap themselves around you, but before he can even fully hug you––

You’re quick to reciprocate. With a small laugh, you wrap your own arms around his torso, nuzzling into his chest with more force than Yoongi was expecting. He lets out a soft wheeze, mouth dropping open when he is assaulted by the smell of your fruity shampoo. His hands hover awkwardly above you, still unsure of where it’s okay to touch you without weirding you out.

You tilt your face up, eyes crinkling cutely by the sheer force of your grin. Both of your faces are only centimeters away from each other, and Yoongi could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired. His breathing stills as he becomes positively mesmerized by the beautiful sight in front of him. He doesn’t even hear the sound of phone camera shutters around him, as he is much too deeply focused on nothing but you, you, you.

“Hey, don’t half-ass your hug! Gimme a good ol’ bear hug!” you whine, nudging his elbows gently to get them to move. Snapped out of his reverie, Yoongi mechanically does as you say, his head completely empty of thoughts. He wraps his arms tightly around your shoulders, his wrist knocking slightly against the back of your head until you’re back to snuggling deep into his chest.

“Your laundry detergent smells nice,” you say, slightly muffled by his shirt. Yoongi lets out a breathy laugh, mostly out of disbelief more than anything. He can’t even begin to process anything right now; he feels like he’s reverted back into a single-celled organism.

“Thanks?” Yoongi squeaks, but you don’t seem to mind his awkward attempts at being a Normal Person™️. You crane your neck upwards so that you’re looking him directly in the eye. There’s a twinkle of mischief there, like you’re enjoying Yoongi’s flushed face a little too much. He honestly feels like he’s seconds away from exploding into tiny bite-sized pieces, and he fears that if you snuggle deeper into his chest, he might just do exactly that.

“So… Are we just supposed to hug for another ten minutes, or am I allowed to let go?”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize how long it’s been. You could’ve been hugging him for ten hours and he wouldn’t have known. Yoongi jerks away from you, nearly vaulting himself across campus by how quickly he lets you go. Thankfully, you don’t appear offended––you were more amused than anything. Yoongi has no idea how red he is right now; he feels like he could be blowing steam out of his ears, astounding anatomists everywhere by his peculiar talent.

“I just have to–” Yoongi pats his back pockets for his phone, clumsily pulling it out and looking for his text messages, “–read this message from your, um, secret admirer and then we’ll be good to go.”

“Great.” You nod at him enthusiastically. “Whenever you’re ready, Yoonie.”

Yoongi’s breath hitches right then, caught off guard by the nickname. Only you ever called him that, and it never fails to make Yoongi’s insides feel like molten lava every time you say it. “I… Yeah, here goes,” Yoongi mutters, trying his best to remember how to speak.

He recites the message with as much enthusiasm as he can manage, which is to say, not very much. He could probably read the phonebook with more zeal, but it’s hard to give it his all when the words feel like acid in his throat. He’s unconsciously clenching his jaw as he speaks, looking like a constipated gorilla. “...so, if you’re single and ready to #mingle, then––” Yoongi stops mid-sentence, staring resolutely at his phone screen with a grimace.

You blink confusedly. “Then?”

“Then nothing,” Yoongi finishes, pocketing his phone without an inch of remorse. “I don’t know what was up with that message, but somehow the letter got cut short. Sorry about that.”

“Huh, strange.” You shrug your shoulders, not bothering to question him.

Yoongi fist bumps himself mentally, though other people might disagree and say that he doesn’t deserve any type of congratulations, to which Yoongi says a big “fuck you!” to those imaginary haters. In the wise words of Kim Seokjin himself, “not everyone is worthy to receive your fucks, so it’s time to stop giving them.” (Kim, 2020)

“Well, that was fun! Thanks for delivering the hug to me, Yoonie,” you pinch Yoongi’s cheek, giggling when they turn even redder. “I’ll see you around, I guess? Don’t let those midterms kill ya!” You wave cheerily at him, walking past him and heading towards the bus stops. Yoongi stands frozen in place, the events of the last few minutes finally catching up to him and frying his brain beyond repair.

Oh my god, he fucking hugged you! Like, a good and genuine hug! You felt so warm and so soft and you smelled really good and it was more than he could ever imagine and just––

Yoongi’s brain is trying (and failing) to desperately parse the delayed barrage of information as it comes, but it’s hard for the little hamster running circles in his head when it has never had to run a day in its life. Yoongi’s body feels like it’s overheating even though the weather is nearing the start of winter, but that’s all thanks to you and the devastating effect you have on him.

In short, Yoongi machine has broken, and any sort of maintenance is going to be hard to come by at the moment.

Yoongi could have been standing in front of the Science building for an entire year and he wouldn’t have budged until a tornado in the form of Kim Seokjin arrived to knock him out of his brain dead state. Whistling lowly, the elder stops in front of the rigid mass of meat, an eyebrow quirked in exasperation. “Dude, nice rigor mortis cosplay. Like, yes girl, give us nothing!” he exclaims, slapping Yoongi back to consciousness.

Yoongi blinks rapidly, dazed like he’s woken up from a dream. “What? What’s happening?” he replies dumbly.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Yoongi. Did you finish delivering Y/N’s hug or what? I finished all my deliveries in the same time you had with Y/N, so I better hope to God you aren’t planning on applying to be an employee of mine, because you certainly have a long way to go before––”

“I hugged her,” Yoongi interrupts, eyes going glassy once more. His mouth is agape, and Seokjin can see a pool of saliva forming, ready to runneth over. He could see the rusted gears turning inside his dongsaeng’s head. “Oh my god, hyung. I fucking hugged her.”

“Yeah, and I hugged Taehyung Kim and felt his gigantic dick press into my stomach. You aren’t special,” Seokjin snorts, clasping Yoongi by the bicep. He drags him away, leading them to their parked car. “C’mon, Dampé. I’m tired and I wanna eat popcorn again.”

As they walk back to the parking lot, the campus roads are a lot less populated now that most students have gone home. Yoongi only then realizes how late it truly is and he vaguely wonders how long he had been stuck standing there before Seokjin had come to drag him back home. The sun has begun its daily descent, filling the courtyard with a warm glow and causing their shadows to grow longer as they trudge quietly to their car.

The campus is quiet enough that both of them hear the quiet buzz of Seokjin’s phone, despite him putting it on silent mode before he had gone on his hugging deliveries. He stops mid-step, causing Yoongi to bump his nose into his wide back. He yelps, shoving Seokjin forward in irritation.

“Why’d you fucking stop, you asshole?” Yoongi whines, his normal annoying personality resurfacing now that he’s begun to recover from your hug. He peers over Seokjin’s behemoth shoulders, squinting at his phone screen. “What? Another hug delivery?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow since I think she’s gone home for the day,” Seokjin says, his tone sounding slightly too delighted for comfort. “In fact, I know she’s gone home already.”

Yoongi stills, changing his focus onto the elder’s expression. He looks… too eager to receive a simple hug-o-gram request. A shiver shoots through Yoongi’s spine when he realizes how nefariously bastardous Seokjin’s smile has grown, the tips of his smirk curling upwards like a villain from a classic Disney animation.

“What?” Yoongi glares acidly at Seokjin, but the elder is unaffected. In fact, he seems to grow more pleased the more aggravated Yoongi becomes. “Spit it out! What’s got your prostate tickled?”

“Oh, nothing,” Seokjin singsongs, shoving his phone down the front of his pants, exactly where he knows Yoongi would never touch. “Just got an interesting new regular customer, is all.”

“A new regular?” Yoongi’s pitch heightens, the hairs on the back of his neck bristling in alarm (like a cat.) “Is it… Another request for… You know who?”

“I wasn’t aware Voldemort went to our university,” Seokjin teases, thoroughly enjoying Yoongi’s distress. “Though, if you’re talking about Y/N, then the answer is not not not no.”

“Two double negatives.” Anyone could hear the audible soft rattling of his two brain cells exerting themselves as Yoongi deciphers his answer. “That means…”

Yoongi stares pointedly at Seokjin’s crotch, where the outline of his phone is glaringly obvious. “Show me,” Yoongi growls, not making a move to actually touch Seokjin’s nether regions.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. “No one’s stopping you from taking my phone though?”

“Hyung!”

“Buy me bubble tea first, then we’ll talk.”

“Fine,” Yoongi acquiesces, folding his arms in annoyance. “Just tell me. Is it really the same guy who requested the hug for Y/N today as well?”

Seokjin fiddles around for his phone, digging deeper when it nearly drops down the leg of his pants. When he pulls it out and swipes to his e-mails, he confirms Yoongi’s fear. “Yep. And it seems like he saw you deliver the hug today. Says that he’d prefer that I deliver the hug next time,” Seokjin smirks, enjoying the deep-set frown on Yoongi’s face.

When Seokjin takes a closer look at the order, however, he notices something a little off. “Hold on a sec,” he scrolls to the receipt, scowling when he sees the incorrect amount. “Well, you might be in luck, Yoongi-chi. Looks like loverboy sent the wrong payment. He’s a few dollars short.”

“What?” Yoongi says, for what feels like the tenth time in this entire fic. He grabs Seokjin’s phone, no longer repulsed by where it had been only a few minutes prior. Like Seokjin said, the customer had given the wrong amount, much to both their confusion.

“That’s weird, considering he just ordered a hug today,” Seokjin murmurs, shaking his head. “Oh well. Happens to the best of us. Guess I’ll just have to refund the poor sap.”

“Wait,” Yoongi presses the phone to his chest, preventing Seokjin from taking it. His hyung raises a brow.

“What is it?”

“What if I just… pay you the remaining amount? Then I can also deliver the hug to her and, uhh...” Yoongi mumbles the remaining part, but Seokjin has trained his ears to catch every whisper and mutter for moments just like this. He wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t perfect his eavesdropping skills to a spy’s degree. That’s right––Seokjin is a sloppy and nosey bitch and he’s not afraid to admit it!

“Oh? Do my ears deceive me?” Seokjin guffaws, pinching Yoongi’s cheeks for good measure. He hisses in response, but Seokjin isn’t afraid of some little kitten. Seokjin is a bigger bitch with a meaner bite. “Is my little Yoongi Woongi seriously offering to deliver another hug to Miss Y/N? How magnanimous of you.”

Yoongi stares at him, stunned for a moment. A few seconds pass before he shakes his head, faux disdain coloring his expression. “That’s right,” Yoongi huffs, detaching himself from Seokjin’s meaty claws. He keeps his gaze averted, like the big stupid tsundere that he is. “I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart! I care about your profits, and I want to make your workload a little lighter! Isn’t that what you want?”

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Seokjin snickers, poking Yoongi in the tit. He swivels away, skipping merrily away to their parked car. “I’m expecting that cash in my Paypal by the time I get to the car, or else the deal is off. Make it snappy, loverboy!”

Yoongi had never transferred cash to someone so quickly in his life.

(Yes, not even when the food court on campus was doing a BOGO promo for churros. That’s the extent of how whipped his ass is, period.)

x x x x x

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

“Listen, I’m seriously not forcing you to do this,” Seokjin starts, even though he’s giving his utmost effort to further embarrass Yoongi by handing out flyers about Hug-o-gram’s newest employee. “Please, take one!” he cajoles, offering a flyer to a gaggle of giggling freshmen. “Make sure to reserve a hug within the week! Yoongi-chi over here is on his way to becoming employee of the month if he gets ten requests by Friday!” They all point and whisper at Yoongi, and he swears he hears one of them wolf whistle in admiration.

“That’s what makes this entire thing terrible. I’m doing this on my own volition, and I absolutely abhor myself for it,” Yoongi moans, grabbing Seokjin’s stack of flyers and smacking himself in the head with them. It probably would’ve hurt more when Seokjin still had a full-stack, but people had swarmed them the moment they entered the heart of the campus, everyone curious to see Yoongi in his interesting attire.

Seokjin might have been famous for creating the Hug-o-gram Service, but Yoongi was famous for hating the business idea, so it’s easy to understand why everyone was interested. (For good reason, he thinks darkly to himself.)

“Damn, Yoongi-chi. Looks like you’re trending on the campus Reddit page,” Seokjin laughs, wheezing even harder when Yoongi points him with a murderous glare. “What? Like you said, this was all your idea.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t ask to wear… whatever this is!” Yoongi whines, tugging on the string around his neck. The cardboard sign had been ready and prepared the moment they arrived home the other day, arousing Yoongi’s suspicions on Seokjin’s actual involvement in his current predicament. Those suspicions are put in the backburner for now, however, as Yoongi actually feels like he might die of embarrassment instead of the packets of MSG coursing through his veins from the ten ramen packs he ate this morning. Maybe both will kill him, if he’s lucky.

“Well, I would love to lend you my uniform, but I haven’t gotten a t-shirt printed with your face on it yet, so you’ll have to deal with the kitten ears and cardboard sign for now,” Seokjin says, patting him on the back. “Or, would you rather I have you wear a shirt with my face on it? I’m open to suggestions.”

“I’d rather swallow a Tide pod, thanks,” Yoongi says through gritted teeth. “C’mon, let’s move. We’ve been standing in the middle of campus like street clowns for long enough. We need to find Y/N because her class is about to end.”

“Street clowns, huh? I guess you are only missing the make-up to complete the look, especially since you seem adamant to keep honking your way through that sickening crush of yours.” Seokjin nearly catches a punch to the head, but his superior reaction time saves him from Yoongi’s sorely lacking physicality. He snatches Yoongi by the hand, dragging them towards your lecture hall. “C’mon, clown! Let’s honk this bread!”

As the two of them get closer to where you are, Yoongi’s heartbeat begins to accelerate. He wonders idly if he should see a doctor after all this, hoping that he hadn’t actually contracted heart disease due to all this stress. Lord forbid that he meet his end before he even gets to ask you out or something!

Even though he’s already hugged you once (and it was, by far, the most euphoric experience of his sad, miserable life), he still finds himself getting clammy hands at the thought of seeing you again. Nevermind the fact that he looked like a walking circus with his get-up… No, Yoongi refuses to think about it anymore, lest his last remaining brain wrinkle irreversibly smoothens.

The campus clock rings loudly, signaling the end of another block of classes. Students rush out of the buildings, with you being one of the first ones out for a change. When Yoongi spots your head of hair among the crowd, he doesn’t immediately notice what you’re wearing at first. In fact, it’s Seokjin who stops in his tracks for a moment, surprised by how you look.

“Woah, Y/N! Looking good,” Seokjin greets, rushing past Yoongi to envelop you in a hug. (A platonic hug, Yoongi reminds himself. Because unlike Yoongi, Seokjin is a normal human being who can give hugs to anyone he wants because he’s… fucking Seokjin! Lucky bastard that he is.)

“Woah!” You laugh, surprised by the sudden hug. You pat him on the back giddily, allowing him to swing you around a little. “What’s this all about? Am I getting a hug-o-gram again?”

“Yes, you are. But not from me,” Seokjin detaches himself from you, scooting away to point at Yoongi. When Seokjin moves away, Yoongi finally understands why his hyung had said you looked good. No, that was an understatement––you looked [redacted].

(For the sake of the author’s fragile ash-coated heart, she has chosen to redact Yoongi’s exact words to protect herself from slamming her head against a keyboard from how cheesy this fic is becoming. Let’s just say the word starts with a B and ends with an L. Make of that as you will.)

You must have come out of an interview or presentation of sorts because you were dressed more nicely than you usually do, which is a pretty big deal considering how put together you always looked. Your hair is styled nicely, obviously given much more care and effort than your regular appearance. You’re wearing a cute little black dress, long enough to be professional but short enough to give Yoongi breathing problems.

If Yoongi’s brain had a playlist, it would be nothing but the sound of him going HNNNNNNNNNG on repeat.

“Oh geez.” Yoongi curses lowly, smiling through the pain. This is fine, he thinks, even though it is clearly not fine. Yoongi has always been a terrible liar.

“Yoongi?” You sound incredulous, though that’s honestly a win in Yoongi’s book considering everything. You didn’t look disgusted, so that’s great. “You look…” You stop yourself, covering your mouth to hide your grin but your amusement is palpable. At least he made you laugh, he supposes.

“Like a fucking idiot? You said it,” Yoongi snorts, arms crossed defiantly. He’s trying to look intimidating, but with his cheeks puffed up and these abominable kitten ears on his head, he looks more like a grumpy cat throwing a tantrum. He juts a thumb at Seokjin, “Thank this himbo for the outfit. I definitely would have chosen something more… inconspicuous.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” You quip, still trying to mask your giggles. On the other hand, Seokjin was wheezing like a hyena, his phone pulled out and presumably filming Yoongi to add to his cringe compilation.

“Exactly what I said!” Seokjin says through his laughter, tears of mirth streaming down his face. He walks back to Yoongi, pushing him forward until he’s face to face with you. “Go on, then! We haven’t got all day!”

“I’m assuming you’re officially part of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram business now?” you ask, opening your arms wide to accept his hug. Like the beta male that he is, Yoongi has to be the one to follow in your footsteps, meekly coming closer to wrap you in an embrace.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Yoongi mutters, tucking his chin onto your shoulder. He feels you vibrate with laughter, bringing a small smile on his own face. He likes making you laugh, always has.

With the cardboard sign serving as a barrier between the two of you, he isn’t as fearful of you feeling the erratic beat of his heart, though it wouldn’t be hard to guess if you looked at him. He closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy your hug rather than just panic through the entire ordeal like yesterday.

Soon enough, you’re detaching yourself from him, still standing close. Your arm is just a hair’s breadth away, and if not for Seokjin enthusiastically videotaping this entire experience, Yoongi might have closed in for another hug if he could manage.

“It’s always nice to get a hug from someone you like, huh?” You say, cheeks tinted a rosy color. The true meaning of your words flies over Yoongi’s head, as his feeble mind chooses to focus on your comment a little differently.

“I––Of course I like you! We’re friends, aren’t we?” Yoongi laughs nervously, unaware that he’s slowly digging himself into a ditch. To the side, Seokjin audibly slaps a hand to his face, body shivering with secondhand embarrassment from being blasted by the full force of how idiotic his friend actually is.

Yoongi sees you deflate a little, further confusing him. “Yeah, you’re right I guess…” You sigh, taking a step backward dejectedly. Yoongi flounders a little, unsure how he managed to fuck up in just a few seconds when you had just hugged him like your life depended on it.

Choosing now to interfere before the going gets rough, Seokjin steps in between and slings an arm around both of you. Yoongi groans under the weight of his arm, glaring when he notices that Seokjin had done it on purpose, but only to him. You don’t look too bothered by his rude gesture, albeit you were more befuddled than before.

“Hey, Y/N! I don’t know if you’ve ever ordered a hug-o-gram before, but I’m doing a special this week! Now that Yoongi-chi has so kindly joined the team,” Seokjin gives him a pointed look, to which the black-haired music major sticks his tongue out petulantly, “we’re doing a little promotion for first-time customers! Would you be interested in ordering one?”

Your eyes widen, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “M-me? Ordering a hug-o-gram? Well, I…” you hesitate, sending a small glance at Yoongi before looking away in embarrassment. “I would like to, but I don’t know if it’ll be well received, you see…”

Seokjin grumbles, silently cursing the stupid shithead who caused his own demise in the first place. The worst part is that he had no idea that he totally just friendzoned you! YOU! Someone who was literally leagues ahead of him. He sincerely has no idea what you see in this bumbling idiot, but everyone with a brain knows that you have been crushing on him for as long as he’s been crushing on you, so perhaps you’re a little bit of an idiot yourself for liking him back.

Being friends with the two of you makes him feel like he’s constantly wearing a sloppy wet diaper, and he hates it. He wants to wipe his ass as soon as possible!

Seokjin shoves Yoongi away roughly, ignoring his indignant squawks as he pulls you aside. He takes you by the hand, taking you a few steps away from Yoongi, far enough that he can whisper into your ear without the other boy hearing.

Yoongi fumes from the sidelines, trying to keep his emotions in check even though he’s bursting at the seams with jealousy. Not for the first time, Yoongi irritably realizes that he does act like a cat, especially in moments like this. He might make fun of Seokjin for being an attention whore, but Yoongi is the same, if only at a smaller scale. He just wants you to look at him, as selfish as that sounds.

Can someone give him a break? He’s been holding in his crush for four years now… Imagine having to take a massive shit after drinking two gallons of milk while being lactose intolerant, except every time you line up for the washroom, the line gets increasingly long no matter how long you wait. That is the extent of his suffering, he tells himself. So please, excuse his dramatics for this one instance.

(Seokjin’s Note: This fucking jackass is SO stupid. If he only knew how easy it is to ask you out, he would know that his emotional constipation could be solved if he just fucking ASKED where the next washroom is. He could have relieved himself ages ago, but NO! And he calls me the idiot! Me! The utter betrayal! I’m never agreeing to become the second lead to a rom-com ever again!)

When Seokjin finishes whispering in your ears, you appear amused by what he had said. Yoongi sweats when you turn to face him, grinning slyly at him. “Is that so…” you wonder aloud. Yoongi feels like the world has shifted on its axis somewhat, though he still doesn’t know exactly how. He has a hunch that he’s going to find out soon enough.

“Would I ever lie to you?” Seokjin laughs that annoying laugh of his, slapping his thigh in the process. He straightens up almost immediately, his expression turning deadpan in an instant. “Send me the details by tonight, and I’ll make sure to deliver it, okay?”

“Promise?” You ask, holding a pinky up towards him. Yoongi might have let out a high pitched sob when he sees the gesture, wanting nothing more than to cup your hands in his. God, if he already nearly died from hugging you, who is to say Yoongi won’t immediately disintegrate if you were ever to hold his hand?

“Promise,” Seokjin replies, linking his pinky with yours. He doesn’t forget to point a shit-eating grin at Yoongi, for good measure.

You pull away, looking happier than you did moments prior. You were absolutely glowing, filling Yoongi with a warmth that only you ever knew how to provide. He wants to make you smile like that all the time, wants nothing more than for you to live beside him, filling his walls with the sound of your tinkling laughter. You wave cheerily at the both of them, stepping away to head home. “I guess I’ll see you, then? I’ll make sure to e-mail you my request, Seokjin!” you say, winking teasingly. “Bye to you too, Yoongi! Thanks for the hug!”

Yoongi watches as you walk further and further away as the usual melancholy that follows whenever you leave soon takes its place in his soul. It might be his imagination, but Yoongi thinks the cat ears on his head might have started to droop to match his mood.

The only way he knows how to replace the sadness, however, is by redirecting those emotions on an unsuspecting victim. Lucky for him, a willing volunteer is already within punching distance.

“Ow! Stop punching me, you gremlin!” Seokjin whines, blocking Yoongi’s series of punches like a pro. He might as well put ‘professional punching bag’ on his resume at this point. “I’m trying to help you, you useless beta male!”

“How is this helping! You made me wear cat ears and whispered blasphemies into Y/N’s ears! Now she’s going to order a hug-o-gram for her crush and it’ll be the end of my chances with her! How could you!”

“I was not whispering blasphemies, you twittering tit! I was giving her advice,” Seokjin sniffs, annoyed. “Don’t say I never help you, by the way. I’ve been trying to help you for years now.”

Yoongi hits him with a steely glare. “Really? So replacing all my clothes in my closet with clown attire is your version of help? I had to wear those stupid clown shoes for a week before you told me where you hid my clothes, jackass!”

“I was only trying to help you physically express yourself! You’re already a clown on paper, might as well help you achieve your final form!” Seokjin huffs, infuriatingly haughty. “Listen, believe me. I only told Y/N something that everyone already knows anyway, so just shut your trap and let Daddy handle the rest. You’re not going to lose her, I promise.”

“Please never refer to yourself as Daddy ever again,” Yoongi seethes, stalking off towards their car. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

“No talk, Yoobie angy…” Seokjin snickers to himself, following Yoongi with a spring in his step. This bastard is going to grovel at his feet by tomorrow evening, he’s sure of it. If he doesn’t, then Seokjin will bite his own dick in half––that’s how sure he is of his plan! (Not that biting his dick in half will do anything to his length; he’d still be left with eight inches, let’s be real.) All in good time.

x x x x x

Seokjin gets an e-mail the next morning, much earlier than any sane person would choose to be awake at. He groans lowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he tries to read the contents of the letter. When he’s satisfied by what he has read, he forwards the e-mail to Yoongi before allowing sleep to take him once more.

Sleep evades him, however, when the sound of Yoongi’s big feet pounds noisily outside his bedroom. He hits his knee loudly against the coffee table, causing their beloved popcorn machine to tumble to the floor, but that is of little consequence to Yoongi right now. No, he needs to get into Seokjin’s room right now and scream––

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Yoongi hollers, slamming Seokjin’s door open. The hinges creak, desperately hanging on despite the impact. Yoongi proceeds to slam a fist upon Seokjin’s ass, who barely flinches due to the fatness of his ass cushioning most of the damage. He blinks blearily at Yoongi, but the smirk on his face is clear as day.

“Came to claim your hug so early in the morning? Well, I usually don’t entertain clients until after I’ve taken a shower, but for you… I’ll make an exception,” he yawns, peeling back his blanket and patting the empty spot on his bed. “Come on in, Yoobie Boobie… Let’s hug like it’s the last day on earth.”

Seokjin fails to realize that once he removed his blanket, he had inadvertently left himself vulnerable. Yoongi slams the heel of his foot against Seokjin’s groin, causing him to shriek bloody murder at 7 AM. He wonders, amidst his pain, whether this might be the last straw and that their landlord will finally kick them out after years of their stupid shenanigans.

“WHAT DID THAT E-MAIL MEAN? IF IT’S WHAT I THINK IT IS…” Yoongi threatens, but it’s as empty as Seokjin’s butthole. They both know the implications of that e-mail, even a toddler can put two and two together and make sense out of it. Anonymous e-mail or not, Seokjin wouldn’t just forward any hug-o-gram request to Yoongi, unless…

What did the e-mail say? It goes something like:

Dear Mr. Kim,

Thank you for offering your special promotion for new time customers of your Hug-o-gram Service! I’ve always been a quiet fan of your business idea, but I’ve always been a little shy to submit a request of my own. Thank you so much for giving me the little push that I needed to send my first (and hopefully last) hug.

I’d like to send a hug to Mr. Min Yoongi from the Music Department. I understand that he has recently been appointed an employee at your business, but seeing as how it’d be difficult for him to hug himself (while not entirely impossible), I’d like to request that you be the one to send the hug to him.

I don’t really have a message for him, per se… I’m still a little shy, even though you already told me that there is no reason to be. I want to believe what you said was true, so I’m pushing my fear aside and putting my fate into your hands. So, to Mr. Min Yoongi… “When I told you it was nice to hug someone you like, I don’t think you understood what I meant. A hug, after all, is a two-way street. They’re often served the best when it is reciprocated, if you catch my drift. :)”

Peace! :3

Regards,

[Redacted] [Redacted]

“Have your brain synapses finished connecting? Because if even this flies over your head, I’m sorry to say buddy but… You might have smooth brain syndrome,” Seokjin pipes up. He observes Yoongi’s brow crumpling, the first signal of his impending mental breakdown. If Seokjin remembers correctly, the next signal should be when––

Yoongi drops down to his knees, his phone clattering to the floor as he stares absently at the ceiling. Seokjin cringes, worried for the state of his friend’s frail kneecaps. The poor sap has bad heart health already; surely, it isn’t too early to get him a life alert button?

Seokjin scooches over his bed, dangling half his body over the edge to appraise his friend. “So. What do you plan to do now?”

For a moment, Yoongi remains silent. Eventually, he shuffles closer to him, perching his hands around Seokjin. The business student raises a brow, confused, until Yoongi pushes Seokjin back onto the middle of the bed so that he can cram himself beside Seokjin on his small double bed. He huffs amusedly, allowing the smaller boy to snuggle into his chest, though he still refuses to wrap his arms around him. Close enough, Seokjin snorts.

“I need your help, hyung.” Yoongi’s voice is small, shy. It’s so uncharacteristic of him that Seokjin immediately softens. They might act like toddlers together the majority of the time, but Seokjin truly does care about Yoongi more than anything. During early mornings like this, when the sun’s soft rays are filtering through his sheer curtains and filling the room with a gentle warmth, it’s nice to cuddle up with one another and enjoy the silence. In fact, Seokjin would never admit it to Yoongi, but he got the idea for his Hug-o-gram service from Yoongi himself, back when the younger boy would be more prone to sneaking into his bed during his bouts of loneliness and homesickness.

Above all else, Yoongi is just a boy with a lot of love to give, so who is Seokjin to say no to his pleas for help?

“You know I always got your back, Yoongi-chi. Whenever you’re ready, we can do whatever you want. Ask and you’ll receive,” he replies, caressing his soft black tresses. Yoongi hums, smiling softly into his chest.

“Thanks, dude. For being… you know.”

Seokjin’s heart pangs a little, but he ignores it. Instead, he continues combing through his hair, humming gently. “I know.”

x x x x x

It’s been a few days since you sent the e-mail to Seokjin and you haven’t heard back from him. You aren’t sure if he sends confirmation e-mails to his clients as you’d never asked for a hug-o-gram before, nor did you know anyone who has. You are forced to continue on with your days like normal, trying to ignore the unsettling anxiety from creeping up your throat and spewing all over the sidewalk.

If Seokjin hadn’t been lying to you, then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. You’ve been harboring this crush on Yoongi for years now, and you never thought in your life that it would ever be reciprocated. He always seemed a little bit detached, a little too cool for you. Never mind the fact that he always seemed so jittery around you, like it was hard to talk to you or something!

Your answer comes on the last day of the week, after an especially rough day at class. Your back is bent, having finished a grueling four hour lab period where you did nothing but stand and stare at your reaction vessel spinning without any signal of change. You are just a little bit hangry from all the stress piling up on your plate, especially since you hadn’t eaten a decent meal since breakfast at 8 AM.

In short, life isn’t going as smoothly as you’d hoped for your senior year, but you can’t let the blues get to you too soon. After all, there are leftover chicken wings in your fridge with your name on it, and nothing beats your meat more than greasy poultry to end a terrible week.

You’re only inches away from sliding your keycard to open your shared dorm room when the door opens without prompting. You flinch backward, yelping loudly when your roommate Park Jimin grins slyly from the doorway––never a good sign, if you knew anything.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jimin says, leaning casually against the door like he hadn’t just scared the living shit out of you. He takes one glance at your disheveled hair and lightly sweaty clothes before grimacing in disgust. “Girl, I can’t let you meet the love your life while you’re looking like that. Come on, we have a few minutes before he arrives. Let’s get you freshened up.”

“I’m sorry?” You squeak, allowing your roommate to manhandle you into your own home. He pushes you into your room, depositing you roughly onto your unmade bed. You try to make eye contact with him, but he’s too busy raiding your closet to pay you much attention. “Excuse me? What did you say just now?”

“No time, princess! Your Prince Charming is on the way, and I’ve been ordered by Seokjin to prepare you for this life-changing moment, so get your ass into gear and change into this!” He shoves a clean pair of jeans and a nicer-looking blouse at you before proceeding to grab your hairbrush and comb your tresses with the gentleness of a mother tigress. You shriek when the brush gets tangled in an especially stubborn knot, but Jimin is relentless. He nearly tears your hair by the roots, ignoring your pained whines.

“Will you fucking stop! I have literally no idea why you’re acting like a psycho all of a sudden–” You shout when Jimin begins to undress you, having to kick him in the chest to get him away from completely eradicating your remaining traces of dignity. “Okay, fine! I’ll dress myself! Just get out of my room and fucking stay away!”

Jimin looks at you dubiously for a split second, before eventually acquiescing. “You have two minutes to get changed. You wouldn’t want to keep him waiting, do you?” he says, smirking knowingly. He better dread the day that you finally wipe that annoying twinkle in his eye; it’s been a long time coming.

Left alone to your own devices, you do as Jimin says even though you’re still wildly confused by everything. To think you had been so excited to feast on your chicken wings, and instead, you went through a decade’s worth of torture within the last few minutes. Patting your hands on the butt of your jeans, you meekly take a step out of your bedroom, where Jimin is already tapping his foot impatiently by the door.

He motions for you to hurry up. “Let’s go! Seokjin says they’re rounding up the corner. Hold on,” he steps closer to you, raising your arm up to take a shameless sniff of your pits. “Sorry, had to make a pit stop. You can never be too sure,” he shrugs, disregarding your squawks of indignation.

“I smell fine! Now what are we–” Your sentence is cut short as Jimin all but carries you to the elevator, your shrieks of terror causing one or two of your neighbors to peek their heads out of their doors. When they see it’s just the two of you, they simply shrug their shoulders, returning to their lives like it was normal to see Jimin carry you in a fireman’s hold.

He doesn’t put you down until you reach the lobby of your dorm complex, barely out of breath despite having held you the entire way down. Stupid buff baby, you groan internally to yourself, straightening down your clothes in a desperate attempt to look decent. “Okay, we’re here. Who am I supposed to be meeting?”

In lieu of an answer, Jimin points wordlessly outside your building. A black car is parked on the other side of the road, and you can barely see a familiar head of hair poking out from the driver’s seat. “Seokjin? What the…” you trail off, before your eyes finally land on their target.

Yoongi stands outside the glass doorway, not dressed in his usual all-black attire. He’s wearing an outrageously cute pink shirt today, matching the color of his natural flush. He always looks effortlessly good, with his hair a little windswept in that boyishly cute way. Your mouth goes a little dry when you realize he’s wearing his famous leather jacket, the one that always got the girls and boys swooning when he walked past in them. You hated how whipped for him you were, not wanting to be like the weird kids in his secret fan club, but who can blame you? He’s just so…

You rip open the door, nearly tripping and falling over the short steps leading to the entrance. You grind to a halt in front of him and you’re acutely aware of how rabid you must look. Your chest is pounding, like your heart is begging you to step closer, just like when you had hugged him all those days ago. God, you were going to kill Park Jimin for this.

“Yoongi? What are you…” You take one look at him before your gaze drops to his hands folded carefully behind his back. It doesn’t hide the fact that there is an obvious bouquet of flowers behind him, though. Your face lights on fire when you notice they were your favorite flowers too.

“I’m here to deliver a hug?” Yoongi says it like he’s unsure of himself, but there’s a little coyness laced in his tone. His cheeks are painted a soft pink, and not for the first time, they remind you of freshly baked bread pulled out from the oven. Soft enough to kiss, you wonder idly to yourself.

“I mean… I did order a hug a few days ago, but I do recall not ordering one for myself?” you laugh a little hysterically, your breath cutting short when Yoongi grins softly in response. “I… Who is this hug from?”

Yoongi takes a glance back towards Seokjin. “Hey, boss. Am I allowed to reveal who the secret admirers are, or will that get me fired?”

Seokjin, despite being a few meters away, laughs loud enough for the whole street to hear. “Well, Yoongi-chi. Something tells me your resignation letter was coming in the mail eventually. Who cares about the rules at this point?”

“He’s right,” you quip, pulling Yoongi’s attention back. You’re smiling wide now, your hopes and dreams skyrocketing in your chest and blooming a garden in your heart. “Who cares, right?”

“Right,” Yoongi agrees, taking the last two steps he needs to get closer to you. He drops the bouquet somewhere behind you before finally, finally, embracing you once more. He kisses you gently on the forehead, the contact short and sweet.

You feel like you’re dying, but it’s all good because Yoongi looks just as embarrassed as you. But none of it matters, not when both your happiness is palpable in the air.

“Y/N…”

“Yes?”

“This hug-o-gram is from me to you. Will you go out with me?”

You’ve always been a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. So when you lean in to plant your first kiss of many many more, he knows your answer well enough.

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lovenhlboys · 3 years

Text

From a Distance (E.Pettersson X Reader)

Chapter 1

Masterlist

Tag list form

A/n: hello peoples!! I’m so excited to FINALLY post the first chapter of this fic!!! I’ve been working on it for a long time, and after a few unpleasant delays, it’s finally happening 😁. While this isn’t my first fic, this is my first NHL fic, and the first fic I’m posting on Tumblr, so I’m a little nervous. This first chapter is mostly the set up to the main story, this is reader’s side of things with a flashback story. Chapter two will be mostly from Elias’s point of view. The rest of the chapters will switch back and fourth between the two.

CREDIT: Finally, before we get started I have to shout out my proofreaders. Y’all put up with me and my insanity: @siriushxney @iateyourdonuts @petey-patty @hufflepuff-girlx @cherrylita @immmbabyyygraceee @💕💕And specifically @imagines-r-s ASH!!! Babes, you have been the best and most supportive friend I could’ve asked for during this. You boosted my confidence about this fic and I have no idea what I’d do without you 😁😁

Without further ado, let’s get started shall we!! (Sorry for the long A/N, it’ll only be for this first chapter)

Paring: Elias Pettersson X Fem!Reader

Warnings: lots of cursing, friends with benefits but like...just cuddling???, references to iCarly, mentions of One Tree Hill.

Genere: enemies-ish —>friends —> lovers

Legend: (i suggest having these ready before you read)

Y/C/N/N= your cute nick name, only Markstrom calls you it (you’ll see why) this can be either a pet name you like, or a nick name you already have.

Y/N/N= your nick name, Brock, Quinn, and a few others call you this, it’s more of a playful name. Again, this can be a nickname you already have (if you don’t have one I suggest something stupid (sounds like something Stech or Brock would come up with)

Y/N= this is your first name, only Elias calls you this unless it’s a serious situation, or you’re in trouble, or Brock is being an ass. (If it wasn’t clear before...your last name is Boeser)

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: you have a hardcore crush on your brothers best friend, who also happens to barely speak to you...it’s a slight predicament.

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(This is set in the 2021 season, however, because of my denial, Marky and Stech are still in Vancouver and were never traded... also no Covid. however the season was still delayed just to make it easier to follow.)

Present (Feb. 2021)

You’ve always been best friends with your older brother, you never had any real issues when you were younger and you were inseparable. So much so in fact, that once you graduated early a little less than two years ago (June 2019), he asked you to move to Vancouver and live with him. He was always so protective of you and you appreciated everything he has done in your life. One of the best parts about Brock being your older brother was the people he introduced to you. You aren’t very social and god knows how much of a people person your brother is. Once you had moved in, Brock quickly introduced you to the team. And with your double major in Statistics: Data Sciences and Sports Management, you were able to secure a job with the team. Quickly, you found yourself with a second family, one with many members.

Quinn Hughes is your best friend. when you met him about a year and a half ago, you hit it off immediately. With both of you being the same age and not very social, there was an obvious connection there. When Brock and The boys go out, it is you and Quinn who stay in and watch shows on the couch (your favorite being New Girl). Huggy Bear is so sweet and you tell him EVERYTHING, even things you’d never tell your brother. You are still thanking the draft lottery every day that the Canucks received the 7th overall pick that gave you your bestie.

Thatcher Demko AKA Dems AKA Thatch AKA baby goalie is the sweetest and most hilarious guy you know. He is always looking after you just like Brock, but he is also one of the most annoying guys you know. When you’d first met you had the biggest crush on him. You told Quinn as much and he gave you so much shit for it. That crush was short-lived though, once you found out how obnoxious he could be. You still love him, just as a friend. Though Quinn never forgets to remind you of the crush that once was.

Bo Horvat is like another big brother to you. Sure you have Brock, but he’s your best friend. Bo, however, is the person you go to when you needed advice. Holly is one of the only WAGs you’ve become close with. She and you consistently have wine and gossip nights, of which Quinn is sometimes in attendance. Plus, you and Quinn are an amazing babysitting team for Gunnar if you have anything to say about it.

Troy Stecher is the annoying older brother you never had. He always makes fun of you, calls you names, and bullies you in the loving way brothers do. And he never hesitates to come to you if he ever needs girl advice, which seems to happen a lot.

JT was just like Bo, except he is waaay more protective of you, maybe even a bit more than brock. He doesn’t have a sister and when you met, he made it his job to never see you get hurt. Seriously, one day a guy was bugging you at the bar, and both Brock and Bo were struggling to hold him back when he saw him slap you on the ass as you walked away.

Jacob Markstrom, AKA Marky, AKA Giraffe (pronounced like it is in one of your favorite vines), AKA your cuddle buddy for the past few seasons. Both being single, you felt lonely sometimes and Quinn wasn’t much of a hugger (despite what the nickname might have you believe). Thatcher had offered but Marky, though just as social, is much more laid back. It also helps that he is 6’6 putting him over a foot taller than you. So during movie nights, or late nights at the bar, he is the side you lean on. Of course, you made it abundantly clear to most of the boys and yourselves that you were just friends. As sweet as he was and as great of a boyfriend as he would’ve been, he wasn’t quite your type and your personalities clashed.

Then there was Elias Pettersson, the tall, skinny, Swedish guy you knew as Petey. The guy who looked at you often and barely spoke a word directed towards you. He was Brock's best friend and he came over all the time, you didn’t have an issue with him, and you couldn’t deny he was funny, and from what you’ve heard he is a very kind person. So naturally, he was exactly your type. You’ve had a massive crush on him for a while now, somehow despite the lack of conversation. And the few times he has talked to you, he’s seemed so perfect, but there are only a few times you can remember.

Right now, as you're on your way to the Canuck’s break room your brother texted you to meet him in, you try to recall those few times, specifically the one where your crush on him truly developed.

--------------------------

FLASHBACK (some time in January, 2020)

--------------------------

You, Quinn, and Jacob were laying on the L-shaped couch in ‘The Boeser apartment’, you were cuddled under the blanket with Jacob, laying on the section perpendicular to the TV, your heads at the corner. Quinn was on the other side of the couch, his head right next to yours. it was about 7 o’clock and the episode of One Tree Hill you were watching had just ended and you three had not eaten dinner yet. As the countdown for the next episode started, your stomach growled and you got a look from Quinn and a giggle from Jacob.

“You hungry Y/C/N/N?” Jacob asked.

You looked up at him and giggled, “maybe just a little bit.”

“Y/N/N, you know what sounds amazing?” Quinn asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You turned to each other and you both smirked knowing you were thinking the same thing.

“Spaghetti tacos!!” You both said.

Ever since you were about 10 and you watched iCarly on TV, you had always wanted to try them. It had become an inside joke between you and Quinn for quite some time as he had the same desire as you to see how good they actually were.

“We should totally try them tonight!!” Quinn was quite excited.

“I’m so confused right now,” Jacob chimed in.

“They’re from a show! They take spaghetti and put it in taco shells,” you explained.

“Ahh, hence the name.” he nodded.

“Exactly,” Quinn said.

You jumped up from the couch excitedly and ran straight to your kitchen.

“Ok, we have spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, ground beef, taco shells, aaaand..... by chance do either of you know how to make good meatballs?”

“You’re asking the Swedish guy if he knows how to make meatballs?” Jacob replied.

“Not Swedish meatballs, Italian, stupid Giraffe,” you retorted.

“Gross,” he said with a disgusted look.

“Ooo my mom made the best Italian meatballs, let me call her to see if she can send me the recipe!” Quinn said with a big smile.

Quinn exited the kitchen and ran to your room to call his mom.

“You know, I’ve never seen him so excited about anything,” Marky said with a laugh.

“Quinn loves his food,” you replied.

“Are Brock and Thatch having dinner with us ?”

“I’ll ask.”

You started boiling the water for the pasta, and you cooked part of the ground beef for the meat sauce. Then you texted Brock:

Y/N/N: hey, you want me to make you dinner

Brock: Yeah, who all is there?

Y/N/N: the usual

Brock: Huggy and Marky?

Y/N/N: yep, so do you want some?

Brock: Yeah, and make enough for another person too

Y/N/N: ok

You figured it was Dems since that’s who he went to hang out with when he left 5 hours ago.

You continued to cook when Quinn came in and grabbed a bunch of stuff from the pantry and cabinets. “Did your mom tell you how to make them?” you questioned your frantic best friend.

“Yes she did and she sent me the recipe too.”

“Coolio,” you reply.

------------------------

You were almost done cooking, the pasta was done, Quinn had put his meatballs in the oven and there were only 5 minutes left on the timer. And the sauce had about 2 minutes to simmer.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot what to do when they're almost done, she does this thing, I have to call her,” Quinn said with a panicked look on his face. He ran back to your room.

The front door to your apartment opened quickly, both boys laughing, “ahh, shit, my brother’s calling me,” Brock said as he ran back to his room.

“Why does everyone feel the need to exit the room for phone calls?” you asked Jacob.

He shrugged with a giggle, “I don't know, maybe they don’t trust us,” he said in a sarcastically dramatic tone grasping his chest.

The door closed slowly and you glanced at the doorway where you thought you’d see the ever adorable goalie, Thatcher Demko, instead, you saw the adorable, slender, tall blonde you’d seen all the time, but never had a one on one interaction with... except the first time you met, when he told you that you looked pretty.

“Hi, Petey!” Jacob said as he slipped behind you to watch you mix the sauce, he stood over you looking at the sauce and put his hand on your waist.

“Hi,” he replied, his smile from before had faded.

“Looks so good Y/C/N/N,” Jacob said with a kiss on your cheek, a regular action.

“Thanks, Giraffe, can you grab the taco shells?”

He grabbed them easily from the top shelf (tall ass bitch -_-), and moved behind you, placing his hands on your waist yet again, to move you to the side. “I've gotta run to the bathroom, but I’ll be right back”

“Ok, you have fun with that,” you said with a wink.

Suddenly, was only you and Elias in the room, and the silence was deafening.

“So what are we eating?” he said, pulling your attention to his bright blue eyes.

“Um, spaghetti tacos, they're from a tv sho-”

“Like from iCarly?” he interrupted.

“...Uh yeah? How'd you know?” you couldnt pull your attention away from his eyes, ‘they are just so beautiful,’ you thought somehow you hadnt noticed this within the on and a half years you’d known him.

“We also get Nickelodeon, you know,” he said while throwing you a smirk that made your stomach flip.

“Oh, I didn't know that,” you replied, feeling just a little embarrassed.

“iCarly was my favorite, actually.”

“Yeah, it was mine too,” you said, smiling back, looking at the way he just lit up your kitchen with his presence.

You both stood there for a second just looking at the other, “So how long have-,” he started.

“OKAY,” Quinn unknowingly interrupted, “so she told me what to do, turns out I have to put sauce over them for the last 2 minutes, so Y/N/N can you just put a tablespoon of sauce on each ball then put them back in for two minutes?”

“Yeah of course. Elias, you were saying?” you looked back at the Swede.

“Oh it's nothing,” he looked down at his shoes.

“Ok, Y/N/N you need to call mom and tell her we’re fine and that she doesn't need to worry about us please, Paul says she’s stressing,” Brock said as he entered the room.

“When is she not stressing about us? I’ll call her after dinner, how's dad?”

“Doin’ good, nothing has changed or progressed or whatever since we were home last,” Brock moved and sat on the couch letting out a big sigh.

“That’s good,” you let out a sigh.

“Petey, come here, we’re watching Gossip Girl” Brock shouted at the Swede.

“Ooo what episode are you guys on?” you asked. Brock had mentioned how he was making him watch the show you two had watched about 5 times together.

“Just after Chuck gets Dan kidnapped at Yale.”

“Oh so you still hate Chuck?” you asked Elias.

“Ew, yeah...wait is that gonna change?” Petey said with a scoff.

“Uh....,” you stalled.

“Y/N shut up, don't spoil it,” Brock interrupted before you could make it worse.

“Ok well, dinner is ready so just start the show after and we can all watch it together.”

--------------------------

“Oh my god, these are actually amazing,” Quinn said with his mouth full.

“I know, I did not think this was gonna taste good,” Jacob added.

“Hey!” you said, offended.

“Y/C/N/N, you know I love your cooking, it was the idea of the meal that I doubted,” Jacob said leaning into your side and putting his arm around your shoulder.

“Mmmhmm, suuure,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Hallå Marky, ni två är söta (hey Marky, you two are cute),” Petey said, confusing you, Quinn and Brock with the sudden change in language.

Jacob, being oblivious to what Petey was implying, just said, “tack broder (thanks, bro).”

Little did you know what was going on in Elias’s head.

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PRESENT

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Before that night, you never really thought of Elias in a romantic way. You'd been around him quite a lot, seeing as how, seemingly, is in your apartment more than his own. Sure, you knew he was cute and very sweet from what you'd seen, but up until that point, you'd never had a one-on-one interaction with him. That interaction, however small, was the beginning of an obsessive crush. Quinn was the first to point it out, you started listening closely any time he talked, attempting to converse with him, and thinking about him on a daily basis even when you didn't see him. And due to your stubbornness, no matter how unrequited your crush seemed, it never faltered. You had always thought he hated you, or maybe he just tolerated you because you were Brock’s sister, and you were always around.

However, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

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Tag list: @calgarycanuck @suffering-canucks-fan

#from a distance: series #pls let me know what you think!!#hockey #nhl #elias pettersson #vancover canucks #elias pettersson fic #brock boeser #elias pettersson x reader #elias pettersson imagines #elias pettersson imagine #vancouver canucks imagines #vancouver canucks fic #hockey fic #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines

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starlight-writes-stuff · 3 years

Note

hey! i sent in the ask for the party fic with ethan (which was so good holy shit) and i was hoping you could do the SFW alphabet for him? can I be ⚙️ anon, as well? (get it?)

⚙️anon (thats so clever ily for it) , welcome !! im sorry this took me forever , but here’s your sfw alphabet - this came so easy to me i spend too much time consuming ethan content - anyway ! i really hope you enjoy this ((: reblogs are always appreciated <3

AYO LOOK AT THESE : soft , fluffy ethan content , no tws ! also , yall rockin with the new blog theme ⁉️

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

ethan is incredibly affectionate in all senses of the word- big gestures, small moments, and everything in between. he brings you flowers or food quite often, just something small to show you that you were on his mind while he was out and about. you two would have a designated date night once a week where he’d clear his schedule to spend quality time with you; either taking you out to dinner or cooking and watching movies at home with spencer. also, ethan would definitely go out of his way to do little things around the house to help you out - washing the dishes, vacuuming, folding the laundry. however, ethan wouldn’t shy away from larger gestures of affection, either: he’d take you on surprise vacations or road trips for holidays or anniversaries.

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

being ethan’s best friend would be so much fun. he’s definitely the kind of guy that would send you a text when he was 10 minutes away from your house because he was bored and wanted to go do something together. you’d never be bored around ethan- he can talk for hours, and would 100% know how to make you laugh, even if the two of you were just chilling on the couch. a friendship with ethan would be filled with adventures; concerts, midnight snack runs, campouts in the backyard and lots of fun with spencer.

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

yes, 100%. thinking back to unus annus, ethan was a vvv touchy guy with mark, and i think that would only be amplified with his significant other- touch is one of his love languages, for sure. he’d be the type to always have some soft of physical connection; a hand on your thigh while he drives, mindlessly drawing patterns over your skin while your working, aways holding your hand in public type beat. if ethan wasn’t getting your attention when he wanted it he, would not hesitate to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you to the closest soft surface before plopping you down and wrapping you in his arms. i think he’s probably a fan of having you laying on your side, facing him so that he can hold you, but still see your face/ talk to you. he’d also love laying on your chest because he’s such a boob guy but that’s a conversation for another time ,,,,,

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

i think that if you and ethan were committed and had been dating for a while than he would absolutely want to settle down- but i feel like dating ethan would also include being around each other all the time (constant sleepovers while you aren't living together) so it wouldn’t be that drastic of a change. while he was living on his own, though, ethan obviously had to take care of himself, so he taught himself to cook and clean and do general, domestic tasks. i think he’d be a really good partner when it came to things around the house like that; ethan would always do his fair share and would pick up anything that you needed him to.

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

ethan just comes off as a very feeling, sensitive person (his brand is literally soft boy what do u expect), so i think breakups would be really hard for him. he wouldnt break up with his s/o until he was 10000000% positive that it as the right choice, and had thought through it multiple times. even then, it would rip his heart out to end things- he wouldn’t be afraid to show his emotions. ethan would definitely break up with whoever he was dating in person- he knows that he owes them that.

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

okay, this one is up in the air for me. i definitely feel like ethan would settle down with his person and be completely loyal to them- thats a no brainer. i just don’t know how he feels about marriage? i feel like ethan wants a life partner, i just dont know if he would marry them. (this could 1792049384% be my personal bias peeking through because i think marriage is fkn weird, but for some reason i think he would too ????? maybe thats just me)

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

ethan is just ,,,,, soft hearted, dude. he’s just gentle in general. i think emotionally he’s a total teddybear, and he feels all his emotions incredibly deep- he rules with his heart, for sure. he wants to make sure that everyone around him is happy, and if they arent, it would affect him more than he’d like to admit. physically, ethan can vary- like i said, he’s always touching you in some way, but i think he’d be down for getting a little rougher in bed when you guys want to.

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

ethan is an envelope-the-whole-ass-person kinda hugger, hug-with-your-whole-body type deal. if you look at pictures from unus annus, even old old pictures from the tour he did w/ mark, ethan is always completely wrapped around someone, hugging them with everything in him. i think if his s/o was shorter, he’d love to stack his head on top of theirs, and if y’all were around the same height, he’d bury his face in your neck. he’s very huggy- when you’re out and about, he’s always hugging you from behind, pulling your body closer to his. i also think ethan would love koala hugs, where he was sitting and his s/o wraps their arms and legs around him- he’d sit like that forever, rubbing up and down your back.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

hhhhhhhhhh don't clock me for this one, yall- if ethan was feeling some type of way, he would tell you. i don't think the length of the relationship would matter as much to him as the intensity and depth of his feelings; if ethan really truly loved you and wanted to say it, he would. he’d definitely preface it with the fact that you didn’t have to say it back, that he just wanted to get it on the table and out of his head.

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

ethan would be very secure in his relationships, and i think it would take a lot to get him jealous. however, when he was,,,,,,,, it wouldnt be pretty. like, at all. if it was a situation where someone was hitting on his s/o, he wouldn’t step in until you’d already tried to get them to leave you alone- not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew that if he did, it would get ugly. when he did step in, he’d start by saying something (not kindly worded, but to the point), and if that didn’t work i don’t think ethan would be above getting physical- he’s extremely protective of you.

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I'D LIKE TO SAY SO THIS ONE’S GOIN IN BULLET POINTS , GANG

okay- ethan loves to kiss you. he just loves kisses- they feel so personal and intimate to him, and he kisses you all the time, everywhere

he’ll dip you and kiss you in the middle of the grocery store aisles, he dgaf

but i think his favorite spots for kissing you would be your forehead, your lips (duh), collarbones/shoulders, down your spine and on your inner thighs hngggggg

but it goes vice versa too

ethan wants ALL your kisses . all of them , everywhere

He’s such a sucker for you kissing his neck and you cant talk me out of that (:

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

cute. literally so cute. i think that ethan would love other people’s kids, but definitely doesn’t want any of his own- at least, not right now. however, with other people’s babies he is S O F T; he loves to hold them, and would absolutely offer to try and calm a crying baby down, rocking them and singing soft lullabies to calm their woes. i also think that he would LOVE toddler aged kiddos- like 3-6. he’d be cool uncle ethan, playing catch with them, taking them to the park, finding games to play and always letting them win. he’d totally try to teach them how to ride their bike, or how to do a cartwheel, or how to jump off the swings for maximum height. ethan would totally bring them a fun lunch at school or sneak the kid’s favorite candy over to them and eat it together in a secret spot.

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

mornings with ethan would be slow and lazy and filled with golden light filtering in through the blinds. if he woke up first, ethan would be as soft as humanly possible in order not to wake you up & would sneak downstairs to make coffee and start breakfast for the two of you, sometimes bringing it up to surprise you with breakfast in bed. the two of you would spend an hour (at minimum) in bed together, waking up and peppering each other with soft pecks all over. i think ethan would be extra soft™ in the mornings- he’d be super cuddly and affectionate.

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

nights spent with ethan would always hold a sort of unexplainable magic- there’s something about the thought of falling asleep next to him thats just so… comforting? he’d be so warm and easy to fall asleep with, all soft and hazy and gentle; he’d fall asleep holding you as big spoon, but when y’all woke up he’d be wrapped in your arms, laying on your chest. also, if you were having a hard time falling asleep, ethan would stay up with you, talking through whatever was on your mind even if he was barely able to keep his eyes open.

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think that ethan would open up more and more as the relationship progresses, going along with the natural advancement of things unless something happened that made it crucial for him to open up; if that did happen, though, you wouldn’t have to pry anything out of him. ethan is a pretty honest, open person and wants to be transparent with you always- trust is something that he values above all else and he wants to remain very truthful with you.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

ethan is incredibly patient and understanding- it would take a lot to truly upset him. sure, the two of you would get into little tiffs here and there about stupid things, but the small arguments would be resolved within the hour with lots of hugs and kisses and soft “im sorry”s. however, if yall managed to get into a big argument, i think it would take ethan a bit to calm down and he would want to put some space between you two while he did- not to anger you any further, but to make sure that he didn’t say anything he didn't mean. ethan has a bit of a temper while he’s angry, and he wouldn’t want to say anything just to hurt you out of anger. after he cooled off he would come back and be willing to re-examine whatever had caused the issue with fresh eyes.

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

if you’ve watched ethan ever, you know that the sweet bby doesn’t remember shit (cue the instagram live thats purpose was to help him remember a word)- but listen. i think that ethan would go out of his way to hold on to little pieces of information about his s/o, and would put so much effort into trying to remember little details. he’d store them in his brain (things like your favorite flower, the brand of chocolate you like best, etc) and reference them when he needed.

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

a couple moments would stick out to ethan - when y’all first met being his favorite. he’d remember every detail of the moment he was first introduced to you; what you were wearing, where you were, what y’all had been doing that night. it was something that he though about a lot, actually- he loved to reflect on the way you’d blushed as he’d introduced himself, how you’d hugged him at the end of the night.

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

ethan isn't possessive, but he is incredibly protective of you. he secretly hates whenever someone flirts with you, even if it’s strictly platonic- you're his s/o, and he doesn't want anyone thinking any different. like i said earlier (reference letter j), ethan wouldn’t be afraid to step in and put someone in their place of they were getting a little too friendly. he likes when you’re protective of him as well, even if its something very subtle to show that he’s spoken for, such as calling him a nickname or dropping a kiss on his cheek.

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

romantic ethan my belOVED- he would try so hard. ethan would plan surprises for you for weeks before they would unfold, even roping your family and friends into his schemes. He’d be so creative with date ideas too; picnics, art classes, different seasonal excursions around california. For bigger occasions like anniversaries, holidays, birthdays and all that, ethan wouldn’t hesitate to go bigger- i definitely think he would take you traveling. he wants to see the world with his love :,)

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

ethan bites his nails, which is why he’d had you paint them- he’s trying to break the habit

he’s a very sweary human, but so are you; the only issue is he has no filter and accidentally swears in front of kids all the time lmao

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

eh. ethan is more particular about certain aspects of his appearance over others, but he’s generally well put together. he likes for his hair to look good, though- that’s the one thing that he’s picky about.

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

ethan is his own person and is able to function on his own, but the two of you have developed a sense of codependency with each other, like any couple does. he can’t see his life without you at all anymore, and would much rather have you around than not. the two of you have fallen into a flow together- you and him against the world. life is much easier when you have another person on your team, and he’s honored that he gets to play that role for you.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

(this may or may not be a lil hint to a fic i'm working on shshhshshhhhhhhh)

on the night unus annus ended, ethan was a wreck - rightfully so

he had a bit of an existential crisis , and started to spiral a bit

you were worried about him , and knew that he would just continue to get into his own head

so you got him out of bed

and took him on a v special date

thats all for now ;)

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

ethan wouldn't like smoking (nicotine), and if that was a habit that you were willing to budge on, he would really try to help you break it.

overall, ethan is a very considerate and kind person, so someone that was rude or had a sense of entitlement just wouldn’t fit well with him.

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

ethan can’t fall asleep without background noise. his brain gets too loud when he’s just in bed in complete silence, for better or for worse; sometimes this leads to great video ideas or new concepts for the channel, but other times it just lead to him overthinking his life. when it was that kind of night, ethan would fall asleep to soft music or one of those white noise apps- then he became dependent on it to be able to fall asleep. something about filler noise managed to calm him right down and lull him to sleep, and he pays $5 a month for the premium version of his favorite white noise app.

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thebadgerclan · 3 years

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SFW Alphabet: Remus Lupin

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Remus is very affectionate, part of it’s just his cuddly personality, part of it’s because Moony loves to show his mate that he loves her. He shows his affection mostly through physical touch: holding your hand, having an arm around you, holding you in his lap on the couch, kissing your forehead, brushing his hand against yours in public. He doesn’t shy away from PDA either, if he wants to kiss you, he’s gonna kiss you, not giving a shit who’s around.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Remus would be a very supportive friend, always there when you need to talk, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, he’s there. The friendship started after Lily introduced you to the Marauders, and while Remus was a little reluctant to let someone new into his life, when he sees that you don’t care or judge him for his lycanthropy, he latches onto you.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Remus loves to cuddle, after a long, stressful day, the only thing he wants to do is hold you or be held by you. He’s the big spoon I’d say 95% of the time, it’s just more comfortable (David Thewlis is 6’3), he prefers holding you, and Moony likes to feel like he’s protecting his mate. When he’s the big spoon, Remus either lays on his back with you tucked into his side, arm tight around you, hand carding through your hair, the other hand stroking your side or is on his side with you pressed against him, either facing him or with your back to his chest.. The other 5% of the time, when Remus is the little spoon, he likes to be on his side, face buried in your chest, arms folded against him and sort of sandwiched between the two of you. He likes this because it makes him feel safa and makes Moony feel that his mate is near and will protect him

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Oh yeah, Remus wants to settle down with you. With you, he has a partner that he can rely on, that he loves more than anything in the entire world. Remys has lived alone for most of his life, so he knows how to keep a house clean and cook for himself. When the two of you get a house or apartment together, you split the household chores evenly, but Remus does prefer to cook, it’s something he enjoys and he likes providing for you

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would be because of his lycanthropy, he’d break up with you to keep you safe. Remus would try and let you down gently, but of course, it shatters your heart when he breaks things off, but part of you understands why he wants to, even if you don’t agree with it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) He’s a little skittish about commitment, thinking you’ll leave him, be disgusted by his condition, but once he realizes that you’re not going to leave him, that you don’t care about his lycanthropy, Remus is so committed to you (he always has been, but he’s even more committed now). He wants to get married to you as soon as he knows you’re truly committed, he goes out and gets a ring for you and proposes as soon as he knows you’re ready

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Remus is very gentle, both emotionally and physically. Emotionally, he’s such a softie, he never hides what he’s feeling from you, if he’s sad, you know it, if he’s angry, you know it. It takes him a while to be that open with you, but when he gets there, there are no secrets between the two of you. Physically, Remus treats you like a piece of glass (and I mean that in a good way), he holds you so tenderly, like you’re something precious, to be treated with reverence and tenderness, which to Remus, you are. I think it goes without saying, but Remus will NEVER hurt you, never raise a hand to you, you’re his everything, he would never do that.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Remus loves hugs, he’s a very huggy person, not just with his S/O. He hugs you very frequently, at least 5-6 times a day. His hugs are warm and soft, wrapping you in his arms feels like safety, and you can feel the love pouring off him when he hugs you. They last for up to 30 seconds at a time, and he kisses your forehead when he pulls away.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) I’d say Remus tells you he loves you after a month or so. He’s known that he’s in love with you after a week, but he wants to be sure that you’re serious about the relationship. And when he does tell you he loves you, you know he means it, you know he’s serious, and you know that he’s in love

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Moony drives his jealousness, he doesn’t like anyone getting too close to his mate, doesn’t like it when you’re too far from him, things like that. Remus is level headed, he’s logical, so he knows that you’re not going to leave him, and he can control Moony to a certain extent, but he comes out sometimes. When he does, Remus will snarl at whoever’s near you, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you close. He’ll kiss you: either on the lips, hard and passionate, or on your temple, and whisper “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Remus likes to kiss your forehead or the crown of your head, your cheeks, nose, hands, wrist, arms, legs, everywhere. And of course, your lips. Remus likes to be kissed on the lips, on his cheeks, and his scars. He might cry when you kiss his scars, just wipe his tears away. His kisses are tender and sweet, love pouring off him in waves.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Remus is really good with kids, he loves them, and he does want to be a father, but he’s hesitant because of his lycanthropy. When he’s around babies, he melts, cooing at them and cradling them close to his chest

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Remus gets up around 9 o’clock, and if you’re still home/asleep when he gets up, he’ll make you a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like, and he’ll sit with you, usually with an arm around you, on the couch. He loves the mornings; the quiet time before you’re dressed and still a little sleepy where he can just be with you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Remus likes to hold you in the evenings: having you on his lap, arms around you, he just wants to be close to you. Nights and evenings are usually spent talking about your day, reading, or just being with each other. (And of course, there’s a fair amount of sex too ;D)

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) I wanna say that after a few weeks, Remus will slowly start opening up to you. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you, and there are things he’s a little hesitant to tell you. But he gets there, feeling secure enough to tell you everything.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) He has a bit of a temper, but it takes a lot to really piss him off. With you, he’s endlessly patient, very few things that you do make him mad. With others, he’s still very patient, but he does snap sometimes, especially close to the full

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Remus remembers a lot, but he tends to forget some littler things. But the bigger things, he remembers: like your favorite meals, favorite books, etc. There are some little things that he’ll randomly remember, like the earrings you wore on a date

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) After a particularly bad full, Remus had staggered into the house, and you were nowhere to be found. He was sad, but he cleaned himself up as best he could. A few minutes later, you returned, a bag on your arm. “We were out of chocolate,” you explained, sitting on the floor where Remus was sitting and pulling a bar of chocolate from the bag. “I convinced them to let me in, they weren’t happy, being woken up at 2 AM, but I got it.” The fact that you went to Hogsmeade to get him chocolate overwhelmed him with love for you, and it made you love him even more

. S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Moony takes Remus’ existing protectiveness and increases it 10 fold. Moony wants to protect you, his mate, more than anything in the world. If anything could potentially hurt you, Remus is tense, watching everything around you to make sure you’re safe. He’ll keep you close, an arm around you, your hand in his. Above all, he needs to know you’re safe.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Remus can’t really afford to take you out as much as he wants to, but when he can, he goes all out. It’s not a 5 star restaurant, but Remus makes you feel like royalty. When he can’t afford to take you out, he’ll cook you a romantic dinner and serve it to you. The same applies to gifts and anniversaries: he doesn’t have much money, but what he can afford, it’s the sentiment behind it that counts

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) His self consciousness concerning his lycanthropy. He thinks he’s dangerous, a monster, someone undeserving of love. It takes you a while for you to break him of this habit, and he still slips and tells you you should leave him, but you’re (obviously) not having it

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Not really. Like Sev, he keeps himself clean and tidy, but you love him for him, and in his mind, his scarred face is enough for you, so it’s enough for him W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, absolutely, once Remus felt how loved you made him feel, the thought of not having you in his life is unimaginable. It causes him physical pain, and he can’t think about it for more than a minute at a time. Luckily, you have no plans of leaving him (please don’t leave him)

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) With the Wolfsbane potion, Remus can just curl up and sleep during the full, so one time, he was on top of you in bed, curled up in a ball, fast asleep. Moony whined when you tried to get up, not getting off of you

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Remus can’t be with someone who won’t validate his feelings. He knows he can be irrational sometimes, but if a partner just brushes his feelings off, he just feels worse. He needs someone who can talk out his feelings and help him through the rough patches

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Remus will not be able to sleep if he doesn’t fluff his pillow. It sounds funny, but if he doesn’t do it, he won’t be comfortable. It’s mostly psychological, but he has to do it.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter reader insert

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yamithediaperdork · 3 years

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From attack mode to baby mode final

with his diaper bag packed and Leo dressed and ready to go, Baby Yusei was helped into a large stroller by his 'big bro and sis' though he fussed and whined a little as he tried to get comfy in the dark blue thing.

Oh, it was big enough that he barely had to bend his legs to fit in and everything and it was padded so it felt like he was on a pillow but still, some small part of him felt like he should be WALKING.

Luna had gotten his diaper bag and some toys packed away in the under carriage and it was Leo who was shaking a rattle in Yusei's face trying to calm him down.

"shhh it's ok little guy! Look I know you wanna walk to the park like a big kid, but you ALSO know you're just gonna get tired and wanna be carried. you can run around LOTS once we get to the park ok?" Leo tried.

Sucking on his paci and squirming in his thick diapers and pretty outfit, Yusei sighed and stopped his fusing but reached out with his hand, opening and closing it.

the universal gesture of 'gimme' among babies and toddlers (and some adults)

Leo smirked and pulled the rattle back towards himself for a Second as Luna stood up and Yusei whimpered and whined, reaching with both hands now.

He didn't really get why he wanted the damn thing SO much but he could feel the tears building up as he stained for it.

"Leo! Stop teasing him and give him the rattle or you'll be joining him in the stroller!" Luna scolded, hands on her hips.

with how fast he tossed the rattle into the stroller for Yusei to play with it, you'd of sworn the thing had become super hot to the touch, but Yusei just giggled and grabbed it, shaking it lots and sucking on his paci.

The walk to the park wasn't all that long, but somehow they seemed to past half the people they knew on the way. Each and every time they were stopped Yusei was sure he was about to be laughed at, or get asked what the hell he was doing but everyone just treated him like he'd always been a little sissy baby.

'Huh, some sorta..re-writiing of history? a illusion of sorts? who's got the power to pull off something like this?" Yusei wondered, going deep in thought even as he kept shaking the rattle.

So deep in thought was he he didn't realize that Crow had been looking down at him till the orange haired duelist reached in and light brushed his fingers on Yusei's nose, then put his thumb between two fingers.

"Got your nose!" Crow teased and Yusei giggled at that and reached up with a free hand, trying to get it back.

Crow teased him for about 10 seconds before relenting and Yusei just let his instincts in this time line or whatever was going on take over. To that end once he got a hand on crow's, he dropped the rattle and put his other hand on Crows and made a snatching motion then put both his hands onto his face and giggled as he removed them, implying he'd put his nose back.

"Oh my, such a clever baby! I know when I'm Licked." Crow chuckled and ruffled Yusei's hair. "You guys have fun but don't stay out too long, it's gonna be a scorcher today and you don't want the baby getting a sun burn."

Advise given, the duelist walked off and the trio finally made they're way into the park, heading right for the playground equipment.

Well almost right for, Luna took them to a park bench first and started to get some things unloaded while Leo amusingly started to jog in place.

"Can I go play now? Can I go play now? Can I go play now?" He kept asking.

"remind me again which one of us is technically older?" Luna asked, rolling her eyes. "and if you'd help me get some toys out and get Yusei set up in the sand box, you can go and hit the swings."

"Finnnne." Leo said and then grabbed the bucket that Luna offered and stuffed it with a toy shovel and rake and then dashed over to the sandbox to plant it for Yusei, and called over from the sand box.

"NOW can I go play?"

"I hope your not as hyper as him when you get to be his age Yusei." Luna said softly, smirking and undoing the straps of the Stroller and helping Yusei out even as he frowned a little.

'Huh? when i get to be his age? I'm older then he is!..aren't I?' Yusei wondered mentally.

He would of put more focus on that thought but as he was set on the the ground on all fours his body surprised him by taking off crawling at a fair speed heading for the sand box.

Luna kept up, though she was also clearly keeping one eye back on the stroller and then as they got to the sand box she stayed out to watch as Yusei climbed in and found the feeling of the sand between his fingers to rather interesting and kept grabbing big handful's of it and coo'ing, letting the paci fall from his mouth.

"Now remember Yusei, the sands for playing in, not for eating." Luna coo'ed.

"and try and leave some in the sandbox this time." Leo joked then gave Luna a pleading look and went to open his mouth,.

"Yes Leo, you can go and play now. but don't wander off anywhere by yourself. I don't wanna have to go looking for you again." Luna said, then raised a eyebrow and that caught Yusei's attention, and he noticed how Leo was hopping around.

"But first go and use the bathroom." Luna giggled.

"I don't have to!" Leo huffed, blushing.

"Leo, if you wet your trainers, you'll have to wear one of Yusei's diapers. do you want that?" Luna asked.

"..I'm gonna go and use the bathroom, but only cuz -I- wanna!" Leo huffed and then took off for the public restroom.

"Boys, am I rite?" Luna asked and smirked, leaning down and ruffling Yusei's hair.

He would of complained or pointed out he was a boy, but between his sissy outfit and the urge to make a sand castle the argument was gone from his mind in seconds.

The sand box didn't have anyone in it making Yusei king (or was that queen?) of the sand box for about the first 20 minutes he was playing in it.

he was amazed to find how fun it was to just dig his hands into the sand and pretend it was a sand monster but after a few minutes of that, it was time to get to work.

Any self respecting Queen of the sand box after all had to have his own castle, that was just common sense and spending 15 or so seconds planing it out, he took hold of the pail and shovel Luna had give him and got to work.

His Castle would be composed of grand towers where lots of guards could be stationed to protect their loving queen, and have a moat around it to trap the stinky heads from the evil fart nation. as such he picture a white stone castle with pink tiled roofs and a massive moat filled with hungry gators that loved to eat pants and undies but never people (he wasn't a monster after all) and would send the soldiers of the fart nation running home clutching they're butts and crying for mommy.

In practice however, it was bucket shaped mounts of sand already crumbling, with some twigs stuck in them for where the flags would be and the moat was drawn in the sand with his finger, him crawling and wiggling his padded behind as he went all around the castle.

turning around Yusei went to call out to Luna to come and see his amazing castle when a mean voice behind him caught his attention.

"Nice sand castle loser. looks more like a pile of dog crap!"

whirling around Yusei saw a 5-6 year old chubby boy with a blond crew cut and wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt that read 'fuck the rules' on the front of it. Despite mentally knowing he was older and should be bigger and stronger then this little twat monkey, Yusei felt himself trembling in fear.

"L-Leave me alone or I'll call my big sis and brother over!" Yusei stammered out.

"Awww is the widdle pamper packer gonna cry boo hoo hoo and whine for help?" The bully mocked, and rubbing his fists under his eyes mockingly.

Behind him not too fair off was a 12-13 year old in a similar outfit, only with a jean jacket and sporting a kool-aid dyed green Mohawk. figuring it was the bullies big brother, the older boy was smirking and nodding his approval at his little brothers behavior, clearly proud.

'Great.normally I'd handle bullies like this with ease and instead I'm seconds away from wetting myself in terror.' Yusei thought then felt a warm gush in the front of his diapers. 'Never mind..'

"Ha! I heard that! Did the big dumb baby piss his pampers?" the brat said, sticking out his tongue and tugging down on a eyelid with one hand and flipping baby Yusei off with the other. "Here, this will really make you sob and fudge your huggies!" He said and then before baby Yusei could react, he raised a foot and stomped down on the sand castle, making quick work of it.

"N-No STOP!! I-I worked weally h-hard on..L-LUNA! L-LEO!" Yusei cried out, starting to wail.

He wasn't sure what they had been doing but within seconds they were at his side, with Luna kneeling down and trying to comfort Yusei and letting him blubber on her shoulder while Leo clenched a fist and got in the bullies face.

"What's wrong with you? Picking on a little kid?! I got half a mind to give you a taste of your own medicine!" He growled.

"go ahead, try it.. OH Maxxxxx!" The little bully called, and the punk from before strolled over.

"There a problem here billy?" the boy asked, smirking and making sure his much more developed then normal for his age muscles showed.

"This green haired little snot is threatening to kick me butt!" Billy said with a smirk."Can you kick his instead?"

"Sure thing little dude." Max said and went to go and deliver a punch to Leo's face, making Leo flinch and turn away, but he never should of worried, the punch was caught by Luna, who looked totally pissed.

"You know..I hate fighting..I would prefer to settle things with a duel." She said, and twisted and squeezed on the fist in her hand, making Max drop to a knee even as he tried with no success to pry her hand off of him.

Billy yelped and then went to attack Luna but Leo stuck out a arm and the soon to be ex bully clothesline himself, doing a 360 before landing face first in the sand, eyes rolling in his head.

"Billy!"Max cried out.

"Is not your concern right now. your little brother made our little baby sissy cry. then you went to attack my twin brother...as I was saying, just because I don't LIKE to fight, doesn't mean I won't. I'm giving you ONE chance to say sorry, and take Billy and leave, Or I'll show you the true meaning of pain." Luna said, eyes burning.

Yusei sniffled and watched in amazement at the sight in front of him, and felt his bowels giving away, filling up the back of his diaper..

'remind me never to piss big sister off!' he thought and stuck a thumb in his mouth, only to pull it out and make a face because the sand on it.

"I..I..I'm sorry." Max was whimpering. "Please just let me go!"

Luna went from a living nightmare to smiling sweetly and let go of Max's fist, and leaning down.

"I hope next time we see you on the playground we can all play ni-" She was saying when Max went for a sucker punch.

Luna blocked it with one arm and punched him across the chin, sending max into a heap next to his brother.

"heh.. gonna call them the candlelight brothers." Leo chuckled, going over and checking on Yusei.

"Hmmm?" Luna asked, turning around and joining him.

"one blow and their out."

"heh, nice. Though I think we better call it a day.. I think we're attracting a bit too much attention." Luna said, looking around at all the stares they were getting. "Besides it smells like somebody made a super stinky diaper!"

Luna added, leaning down and tickling Yusei who giggled and gurgled despite the hot smelly load in his pampers.

Getting back home Luna got Yusei changed into a fresh diaper while Leo when and started the landry, and once the baby was all nice and clean she just had him in a light pink top with purple text that read 'little stinker' in cursive.

"I'm sorry you fun at the park today got ruined little one." Luna was saying, getting Yusei's attention as he seemed to drift out of it for a second.

he couldn't be sure but it seemed like everything in the house was just a bit bigger then it had been before they had left.

'But that's impossible..I'm not shrinking..then again I've woken up to a world where I'm a sissy baby and Luna's a freaking super sayian sooo I guess nothing really is impossible at this point.' Yusei thought.

"It's s'ok Big sis, not your fault people are big stinky farts." Yusei coo'ed, making Luna giggle.

"well put little one. Well I suppose we could watch some cartoons. " Luna said, giving Yusei a hug.

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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S4 Ep38: Awkward Hugs Episode

Remember how excited I was about the good storyboarder? Well this episode has the opposite of that. It looks a lot like they hit some sort of crunch and this entire episode got shipped to Singapore so that some other animation studio could deal with their problems. It’s got some jank.

And like listen, animation is hard, there’s a billion moving plates, there’s a lot of office politics and deadlines, this season in particular is very long and complicated, and I don’t know exactly what happened this episode, but it just...wow it’s a lot funny poorly animated moments and I was here for it.

So first off, Dartz died! I didn’t even cap it because it happened so quickly. He was standing there, a portal opened up, and then the Great Leviathan kind of munched him up in 3 frames of animation, and then dissolved away back into the portal. It was card shenanigans anyway, and I don’t go over card games here--just trust me he played cards, he lost, he died.

Once Dartz died, this happened, in the one place Roland thought he was safe.

Roland has spent a good amount of this time debating whether or not to go inside and now he’s got a situation. Is it safer in Soul Hut than...whatever this is?

I wouldn’t know either.

So he just decides to uh...look directly at it while everyone else deals with orb hell.

The three knights of Atlantis decide to revive the respective owners of their cards.

So Pegasus just has to sit back, relax, and find some other unsuspecting orb person to share his fanfiction deep cuts with.

PS, that was not an exaggeration on the lazy PowerPoint spiral-in transition--this episode was a marvel of “Oh crap we ran out of time!” last-ditch effort animation and I approve.

(read more under the cut)

And if you thought they were done being orbs now that we’re on a physical mortal plane--nah.

This is the closest Pharoah and Yugi have ever gotten to a physical hug. Just throwing it out there that this is the only time they’ve touched in any way as two separate entities. Also--I like that this is the same way Yugi holds his necklace when he’s talking to Pharaoh. Cute little parallel there.

And as I mentioned, there were a lot of people just hugging it out as if it’s the last episode of the season. First off, one of the most huggy people on this show, which I’m still surprised is the Kaibas.

(he did legitimately pretend to be asleep by the way, because as he was spiraling out of hell he was like “whaoooahahhh”)

So I guess if Mokuba, Tristan, and Tea woke up without being orbs first, then that really does mean they never died 2 episodes ago.

Fine. This is fine. I’ll append my headcanon.

...so Dartz really was just so tired of them that he decided to make them take a nap, huh? That Mokuba was so annoying he was just like “I’m turning them off ok? Not like OFF off, not killing them or anything, that would be rude--I just don’t like small one.”

Meanwhile Tea has a Yugi appreciation moment where she’s reunited with her very confusing relationship. Which is how she likes it best. Undefined in nearly every sort of way. A relationship made entirely out of subtext.

(and honestly, relationships made entirely out of subtext is like 75% of the teen dating experience, which I may have mentioned before, but I do not remember if I have because 2020 has wiped my memory of just so many things.)

I vocally, out-loud, went “Ahhhh!” at the screen because I FORGOT how big his eyes are. They are so wild usually, but with the animation B-team at the helm, I was just not ready for the eyes to return. Yugi’s eyes are just...an abomination in every way and I forget when I see them consistently. I get used to them, I get over it...But when I go an entire season without these hell eyes staring directly at me every five seconds, then it’s like I’ve seen them for the first time.

I’m glad he’s back but man his eyes.

Those eyes.

Anyway, on for some more awkward hugs. First off, Yugi’s visceral reaction to his pretty-much-a-wife-at-this-point giving him a...hug?

(she’s kneeling, by the way. Bro mentioned that it looks like she picked him up and held him entirely by the neck--that would have been great, and I would never doubt Tea’s strength, but she had the decency not to do that.)

And then to Yugi’s just overall confusion to whatever Joey Wheeler defines as a hug.

I am 5 feet 0 inches tall, much like Yugi, and can confirm that yes, some people do hug me like this.

This type of hug should be illegal, it’s very disorienting.

Then, Yugi got to do what he does best.

The FIRST THING he does from coming back from death is immediately hold back information. Mm. Yugi at his finest.

At the point that you’d assume that someone in this room would indicate that maybe this hell vortex is like...a situation...Roland comes in the room screaming for Kaiba to come outside and tell him what the hell to do with his life.

So they go outside and the city of Atlantis is popping out of the sea and flying directly into the air--which...sure, it doesn’t really go in the air usually...but I’ll take it.

And in case you’re like...wait, I thought Atlantis was in California, not in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, don’t worry, it’ll get even more confusing later on.

Also, this happened.

Most of the human race freakin died so like...not sure what we should be concerned about here. Gotta get that one last guy in Florida to board up his house, I guess.

I like that Tea is contractually obligated to beg Yugi to stay behind so she doesn’t have to live without him when...it’s like...Tea, your relationship is already a big ass question mark, and Yugi actually dying did not even mean you were living without him. He’s been around this whole season as Pharaoh, my dude. You have the only boyfriend who will not only never officially date you but will also officially never go away.

So like...earlier in the season it was mentioned that Florida had the pieces of Atlantis shoved in a museum so like...is Atlantis off of Florida now? Because the Battle of Atlantis was in the Bay Area, and Dartz lives in San Francisco, and they went on a helicopter and flew out to the sea so...

We GOTTA be in the Pacific, right?

Anyway, it could be that they’re worried it’ll hit the East Coast of Japan--which, yes--it would. That would also be way more pertinent to our cast of people who live in Japan, it’s just that if you’re doing a show in English that takes place in the USA and you say the “East Coast” it only means New York.

I don’t think the translation team got the memo, it was a very weird line.

Tea wishes Yugi luck instead of Pharaoh for once, and Yugi was like “I don’t know why you want to talk to me instead of the version of me with the fine ass.” and his confusion was kind of cute, but they didn’t actually go into any more deets than this.

Valon and Mai were almost making out with each other’s dead body like ten episodes ago, so maybe the team felt like they had enough practice to maybe almost approach something happening with their flagship couple? Almost.

But also...Yugi just has no idea that a few days ago Tea was trying to get Pharaoh to talk to her on a Caltrain by talking about wearing little swimsuits on a Florida beach date, and then Pharaoh got so upset he went to the tiny area between trains and started sobbing while punching a wall. Yugi doesn’t know this. I don’t think anyone will ever tell him.

And like...will anyone tell Yugi that Pharaoh woke up in Tea’s bed? Like no one, right? Like no one even knows that happened? The irony of how cautious Yugi is with this relationship after Pharaoh was just slicing and dicing for this entire season is great. It’s also probably unintentional, but I can still laugh at it.

Anyway, inside soul hut, Yugi got a little lost, and then his puzzle started glowing and brought him to the Macguffins from last season. Would have been really inconvenient if these got doused in the sea, honestly, and I don’t think the Ishtars would have appreciated it.

Also, this puzzle sensor would have been really, really useful in S2.

Meanwhile, I think Seto and Joey just stared at this glowy gate of hell thing being all “Do you know what this is, Kaiba? I was dead” and Kaiba being all “Hell if I know, I was also dead, I don’t know what this thing is.” And Joey being like “Well Yugi doesn’t know what it is, he was also dead.” and Kaiba being like “The only one of us alive was the dead guy who lives in Yugi’s imagination?”

And then Joey being like “Also, where the hell are we?”

So, frustrated that this obvious trap was simply too confounding, Dartz decides to explain to our dumb as hell cast what a “door” is.

Where we can then admire the sights of Atlantis! Which is mostly brick buildings and giant gates with snakes on them.

Also it would just be COVERED in dead fish but we’re gonna skip that and save it for what would be an extremely ill-fated Netflix live-action series that they will probably eventually make of Season 4. Netflix can’t help itself, you know it can’t. This is a spicy series. It would be terrible in gritty live action. Make it happen, Netflix.

I feel like the artist was trying desperately to fix Joey’s bangs and I feel that on an emotional level. We all want to fix Joey’s bangs. Why did they stop at Joey?

They find Dartz in some weird Gazebo which...OK. It was a whole lot of weird concept art that I didn’t cap because it’s like...nothing is terrifying about a Gazebo...

I straight up don’t understand Atlantis culture.

So, Dartz decided that he could just...use himself to raise the Great Leviathan. He had only one more soul he needed, and he was just as powerful as Yami--so lets just do it, lets just raise the snake!

MAN I just realized what a euphemism this season is.

Good job, Dartz.

Course this is how he spun his story to us, but he seemed pretty surprised when the Great Leviathan gobbled him up in the first 10 minutes of the episode.

But this is the story Dartz is sticking to. He, himself, will raise the Leviathan, himself, and he is very happy with his decision that he made all by himself. I mean, Dartz has been alive for 10,000 years, and maybe he got bored of immortality.

Dartz could have done this from day 1.

What’s up, Sephiroth? Nice little uh final fantasy thing we’re doing with this lizard’s face. I really can’t unsee these uneven man boobs (like what is that angle?) but it’s fine. Dartz doesn’t need hands or...legs...he’s a dragon now, like he can just bite stuff and fly around and stuff. Can’t be that bad.

But for reals, what is the dragon’s angle here?

what is it gonna DO?

Like after everyone’s dead. Is it just gonna...float around? Fly around outer space? Enjoy the sunrise?

Like what do dragons...DO?

Anyway, I’m sure we’ll never get the answer on why the Leviathan wanted to leave the core of the Earth so stinkin bad, but maybe--just maybe--this season might actually end next episode? Maybe?

Will I actually finish this season in 2020! I might! Y’all I MIGHT!

And for anyone reading these for the first time, here’s a link to read these in chrono order

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hiccanna-tidbits · 3 years

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Hiccanna 100 OTP Questions Meme--Part 1

So I saw this 100 Questions About Your OTP post, and I decided to do them for Hiccanna! And...I am never doing one of these memes again, because this took forever XD I decided to split it in two to avoid just creating a giant Monster Post. QUESTION SOURCE: https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159857601812/100-otp-questions 1. Who loves flower crowns more? Anna is highkey obsessed with them! Especially kinda lopsided weird ones with sunflowers and shit. Hiccup likes them a lot too but is too embarrassed to ever admit it 2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle? Probably Anna tbh, she’s extremely huggy and cuddly and basically always initiates the cuddle sessions. Hiccup is secretly super grateful for this because he’s actually touch-starved as all hell but absolutely is not aware of it like cmon do you think big tough Stoic hugged him a lot growing up??? Kinda doubt it tbh 3. Who has awful taste in music? Depends on who you ask XD Hiccup has exactly 2 Music Moods--Stuffy classical orchestal stuff with a bunch of fancy violin and flute and whatnot, and edgy underground alternative hipster nonsense from bands no one has ever heard of. Anna, meanwhile, is a simple woman, who listens almost exclusively to shitty, catchy-butvery-unoriginal Top 40 hits and belts along with them to the radio, much to Hiccup’s chagrin XD 4. Who is the meme lover? A N N A she is a memelord supreme 5. How did their second date go? An...oddly specific question XD But I’ll take a stab at it. I imagine on their first date they went to see some high fantasy epic movie with fancy CGI (they’d both be HELLA into that--Anna for the magic and epic romances and Hiccup for the interesting magical creatures) and then gushed about it for hours afterwards, so their second date might be something a bit more lowkey where they’d just talk and hang out. I feel like they both probably are coffee addicts, so...a coffee shop date, maybe? And Anna gets some kinda chocolate pastry, of course! 6. How many children do they want/have? Tbh unpopular opinion probably, but I actually don’t think Hiccup and Anna would necessarily want kids??? They’re definitely the kind of couple who would love exploring the world and taking spontaneous adventures together, and you can do a lot less of that when kids are typing you down. Not to mention I think the full-time responsibility of having a kid would be pretty exhausting to Anna in particular, as someone who identifies with her a lot and has never wanted kids because even thinking about it makes me tired XD I mean sure, Anna has a nurturing side that comes out with Elsa sometimes, but she doesn’t have to use that ALL THE TIME (since Elsa is a grown-ass adult usually capable of sound judgement) like she would with a kid. But ALL THAT SAID if they DID end up having kids I don’t think they’d go too crazy with it, probably just 1. Or 2 at the VERY most. 7. Who hides the weapons? You mean like...in an AU where they’re infiltrating an enemy fortress or something? Probably Anna, since she’s the more innocent and harmless-looking of the two XD 8. Who is the better dancer? They both can’t dance for SHIT it’s absolutely cringeworthy but probably Anna at the end of the day because she probably spent a lot of time practicing in those empty ballrooms 9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding? They’d probably want to have some kind of a magic high fantasy theme, since they’d both be hella into that--and then it ends up morphing into “Dragons and Princesses” XD Anna ends up getting over-the-top fancy princess dresses for all of her bridesmaids and Hiccup has the time of his damn life making basically everything in the buffet dragon-themed. The cake is like half dark green or black scale-patterned and half fancy-patterned spring green tiers. It’s quite the event of the decade! 10. What do their parents think of them dating? Valka absolutely ADORES Anna and thinks she’s perfect for her son--the perfect blend of cheerful and compassionate when she needs to encourage him, but also badass and tough-spirited to protect him when she needs to. Stoic doesn’t really like Anna at first--he’s under the (mistaken) impression that she’s a wimp and finds her bubbliness kind of grating and annoying, and generally worries that dating her will just make Hiccup even more of a wimp. He’d rather him date a no-nonsense tough-as-nails asskicker like Astrid in hopes it would toughen him up. However, once Stoic sees Anna do something like punch someone out with no hesitation when they pick on her and Hiccup, Stoic comes around to Anna VERY quickly XD I feel like Agnar and Iduna would just be happy to see their daughter dating a sweet, dorky guy who loves her with all of her being and appreciates her for who she is. As long as he treats her well and makes her feel loved (which he most certainly would because he’s a precious cinnamon roll), he gets their stamp of approval. And hey, anything is an improvement over Hans XD 11. Are they a super sappy couple? Nah. I imagine they do a lot of PDA and probably hold hands or kiss in public a lot, but they’re not like...overly gooey in how they talk to each other, if that makes any sense. If anything, their flirting is painfully awkward, even AFTER they get together XD So much so that when they try to hit on each other in front of their friends their friends are like “oh my god STOP this is too much secondhand cringe for me to bear” 12. How did they get together? I like to imagine they’re friends for a long while but both of them fully 100% believe that the other is ridiculously out of their league and they’re irreparably trapped in the friendzone and one day they’re hanging out with their friends and awkwardly flirting with each other (but of couRse the other person isn’t FLIRTING they’re just being NICE they both figure) and finally Jack just shouts “oh my god will you two just fuck already???” and after a few minutes of utter mortification they just have the world’s most awkward love confession XD Anna finally relents and asks Hiccup on a date, and of course he says yes! 13. Who asked the other to get married? I can honestly imagine either of them asking but probably Hiccup. And he’s SO nervous about it that he starts straight stuttering the first few times he tries to ask and has to stop and change the subject XD He probably gets it finally after like...the 5th time. 14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes? A N N A 100% I headcanon that she has pretty bad insomnia (that’s why she has such a hard time waking up and is so tired in the morning!) so she stays up to the wee hours of the morning with her brain spinning with incredibly weird thoughts and her sense of humor becomes nigh indecipherable after 3 am. 15. Who is the nerd? Hiccup obviously is this even a question??? He spends all day collecting dragon facts and lore and building weird scientific contraptions to help crippled dragons fly WHAT A NERD 16. Who knows the most obscure facts? Hiccup again, he knows so many dragon factoids and random scientific shit that Anna sometimes wonders how he manages to fit anything else in there 17. Who makes the other a flower crown? Anna! She makes ones for both herself and Hiccup and Hiccup begrudgingly wears his but secretly thinks it’s pretty and likes it because it reminds him of his dorky gf :3 18. Who likes to read? Both! I mean Hiccup obviously does because, as established above, he is a nerd, but Anna has canonically read every book in the Arendelle castle library, some twice, so she doesn’t NOT like to read. Hiccup probably reads more, though, between the two of them--Anna often doesn’t really have the attention span for it. 19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads? ANNA she loves to constantly hang over Hiccup’s shoulder when he reads and drape herself all over him like a needy cat like “PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE” and Hiccup just lets out a defeated sigh and starts playing with her hair while reading and hopes this will be enough to appease the little gremlin It usually is 20. Who tutors the other? Hiccup tutors Anna, but she HATES having to ask and is actually pretty insecure about school just generally not coming as naturally to her as it does to Hiccup, so he’s always super patient and understanding with her and tries his very best to never get annoyed or frustrated if she doesn’t catch onto something right away. He doesn’t want her to ever feel stupid because he imagines it feels the same to her as when people call him weak and useless. Slowly but surely, he’s saving Anna’s grades--and building her confidence! 21. Do they have similar taste in movies? Hell yeah! They love that high fantasy shit. I also like to think Hiccup manages to get Anna into some sci-fi and Anna manages to get Hiccup into romcoms (ONLY the good ones, he insists, as he would not be caught dead watching a shitty romcom!) 22. How do their personalities compliment each other? I mean the most obvious one here is that Hiccup’s general pessimism and cynicism compliment Anna’s optimism and cheerfulness really nicely. He would be able to keep her grounded and get her to be more realistic about things, while she would encourage him to see the positive side of bad situations and be more hopeful about things in general. Also I love the contrast of Hiccup’s intelligence and more quiet, snarky nature with Anna’s rather boisterous personality and general naivitey (sp?) and energy. They’re like a downplayed version of the “the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one” trope and I think that’s beautiful. Also, they’d both be great at soothing the other’s isecurities--Anna would be Hiccup’s biggest cheerleader and would believe in him like no one else did, and would stop at nothing to pull him out of it when he started spiraling into self-loathing and thinking he’s a fuck-up. Hiccup, meanwhile, would be so smitten with Anna and would think that it’s the most obvious thing in the world that she’s an amazing human being in her own rite and never has to feel like the “spare” princess living in her sister’s shadow. And saying this without a shadow of a doubt, like it’s common knowledge, is often exactly what Anna needs to hear to feel a little better about herself. 23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon? I...honestly don’t think they’d be that extra about it??? In fact, they’d be the sort of couple who would be so UN-extra about it that it would do a full 180 and be hilarious. Like they’d be casually brunching with friends and Hiccup would just casually be like “oh by the way, Anna’s 3 months pregnant” or “oh, by the way, we just signed some adoption papers and we’re picking our new kid up on Saturday” and all of their friends would be like “wait WHAT” and Hiccup would be like “Anyways what were you saying about the newest episode of Alien Space Shooters 3000?” XD 24. Who has better fashion sense? Hiccup, probably. I mean, Astrid caught him making OUTFITS! The horror! The dude is also way more effeminate and, uh...clothing-conscientious than he realizes XD Anna has decent fashion sense, but I imagine that’s like 90% because Elsa spices up/makes her outfits since Elsa’s really more of the fashionista XD 25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner? Try bullying Hiccup when Anna’s around. I dare you. You’re gonna get a fistful of Anna Rage and a very angry redhead screaming “THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY BOYFRIEND I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU” Look this woman punched a man off a boat and knocked a wolf half a mile away with a guitar thing she absolutely takes no shits and she can and will fuck you up if you so much as lay a finger on her precious dork Hiccup thinks this is really hot btw 26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle? For whatever reason the first songs that come to mind are “Africa” by Toto and “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey. ALSO “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus since they both are, in fact, teenage dirtbags XD It also like perfectly describes the story of a modern AU where Hiccup the Loser is secretly pining for Anna the Nice Popular Girl who is dating Hans the Douchebag but that’s neither here nor there 27. What other couple would your otp get along with? Jackunzel, Jackunzel, Jackunzel!!! Jack and Hiccup would definitely be bros, even if they are not above mercilessly roasting and/or trolling one another XD And Anna and Rapunzel would be BEST FRIENDS if they ever met and I will DIE on this hill, I legit don’t think Anna would Vibe with any other princess as hard as she vibes with Punzel. They could be ADHD disasters together XD 28. Who likes to prank the other? Anna actually turns out to be quite the closet gadfly and has a secret side that LOVES pranks and generally trolling Hiccup, much to everyone’s surprise and Hiccup’s mild dismay. It’s always pretty innocent and subtle pranks, like switching books on his bookshelf or hiding his various possessions in weird places in the house, but Anna absolutely LIVES for that long, defeated sigh he lets out when he realizes he’s Been Had. 29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures? Anna takes pictures of EVERYTHING on her phone--scenery, flowers, cute animals they come across, weird buildings, pretty fountains, Hiccup when he’s not looking, EVERYTHING XD She also bombs all her social media accounts with selfies of her and Hiccup and captions gloating about how great he is and how you WISH your boyfriend was this cool and rad and Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this. 30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates? Anna, who probably never stopped fully being a sucker for fairy tale True Love stories and all that shit, would fangirl for hours and hours. Hiccup would just go, “Oh, neat!” and go back to whatever project he was currently working on XD I mean his logic is mainly that regardless of whether it’s “magically destined” or not, he’s gonna date Anna anyway, so it really doesn’t make a scrap of difference to him whether she’s dubbed by some Mystical Higher Power as his soulmate lol 31. Where would they live? Well...SOMEWHERE in Scandinavia, since that’s canonically where both Berk and Arendelle are XD I kinda like the idea of them spending part of the year in Berk and part in Arendelle...maybe spring and summer in Berk, and fall and winter in Arendelle? I imagine spring and summer are when there’s the most interesting dragon activity in Berk, and winter’s probably pretty festive and colorful in Arendelle, if OFA is anything to go by. And the fall color is pretty too, going by Frozen 2. Seems like a good compromise, since I doubt either of them would want to permanently move away from their homes. 32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one? Given the shipping this question is HILARIOUSLY ironic Well it just so happens they would have a type of dragon called a Night Fury and name him Toothless XD Anna would probably have a dragon of her own too--I conversed with someone on fanfic.net and did some research into all the HTTYD dragons, and I think the one I like her most with is a sand wraith, since they live on the beach and Anna certainly seems to like the beach, if her throwaway comment complaining Elsa doesn’t have “tropical” powers is anything to go by XD 33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be? First of all, fuck you for making me google “Types of Vampires” and then getting me aggravated because like nowhere on the internet is there a straightforward list of vampire "species” that isn’t like 5 miles long or just a meme XD Welp, I couldn’t really find a list of vampire species that wouldn’t take forever to look over, so I wrote a summary for a vampire fanfic instead Anna turns first. I imagine probably Hans turns her--tricks her into falling in love with him without knowing he’s a vampire, and then biting her when she’s off-guard to basically try to make her into a spooky sex slave or something. Anna starts seeing Hiccup in secret (who she knew before--he’s still human at this point), and eventually he asks her to turn him so that he can be with her without her outliving him and also so that they can team up and fight Hans together. Anna has a lot of reservations about turning him, but finally agrees. They end up kicking Hans out of his spooky vampire castle and taking it for themselves XD Anna eventually makes the best of being a vampire, and has a blast wearing all manor of fancy dresses and throwing extravagant balls. She’s pretty bummed about never getting to gorge herself on garlic bread again, though :( Hiccup doesn’t much like it, especially since a lot of animals are scared of him now and he doesn’t Vibe with nature quite like he used to D: Nonetheless, he decides to use the immortality to do some pretty neat projects and work on his contraptions and inventions and whatnot. I imagine they eventually devolve into kind of a vigilante duo, and make a point of only hunting down and feeding on bad people who are actively hurting or abusing other people or animals. A pretty good incentive to not like...do violent crime in this AU is those creepy old wives’ tales people tell their kids like “don’t be an asshole when you grow up, or the Haddock vampires will get you!” 34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween? Well Hiccup would be some sort of dragon, obviously! Anna I have no idea...but I kinda like the idea of her just dressing up as a generic fairy tale princess and then going around with Hiccup like “oh no, this dragon kidnapped me!” Both their friends and various trick-or-treaters get a kick out of the whole bit. 35. Can they name each other’s favourite food? But of course! Anna’s is chocolate, krumkake, and sandwiches, and Hiccup’s is crabcakes (yes, all this is actually canon! I do my research for fanfiction thank you very much lol). And you can bet they surprise each other by buying one another’s favorite foods all the time! 36. Do they have pet names for one another? In my fanfic I always have Hiccup come up with SO MANY for Anna, like in my Fire!Anna AU fanfic alone I have Fire Hazard, Firecracker, and probably a few others I can’t remember One headcanon I really like is that whenever Anna is especially ready to attempt to kick the ass of something she really should NOT fight (such as a giant snowman), Hiccup physically has to hold her back and goes “Whoa, slow down there, tiger” and this happens so frequently that eventually it gets shortened to just calling her Tiger XD And hey, with the orange hair and the feistiness, it still fits! As for Anna, she usually just calls Hiccup Dragon Boy or Nerd XD 37. How do they cheer each other up? I imagine Hiccup probably tries to distract Anna from whatever’s bothering her by making her laugh and talking in dumb accents or imitating his dad XD Anna would probably try to help Hiccup stay optimistic about a bad situation and try to point out the positives, but more in an encouraging way than like...an obnoxious, condescending “oh, it could be worse, count your blessings!” kind of way. And Anna has so much peppy energy about it that it actually does sometimes manage to pierce Hiccup’s cynicism and make him feel a bit better, if only for a little while before he starts once again imagining everything that could possibly go wrong XD 38. Do they show a lot of PDA? Eeeeeyup XD They looooove holding hands in public, and enjoy kissing dramatically in front of the sunset and such. I mean I imagine they don’t have hardcore makeout sessions in public or feel each other up sexually, if only because they don’t want to make people THAT uncomfortable. 39. How old were they when they got together? Depends on the AU you’re using and where in both their respective timelines they meet, but I imagine them meeting either as kids or in their early teens, and then taking so damn long to spit out how they feel that they don’t actually start dating until their late teens or early 20s. 40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home? If it’s a puppy? Probably Anna. If it’s a kitten or a weird, injured reptile? Deeeefinitely Hiccup. 41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses? They most certainly CANNOT. I like to think Elsa and Honeymaren tried to teach them one time and have a yoga double date (because of COURSE Elsa would suggest that) and it ended with Anna and Hiccup butchering every last pose, repeatedly falling on their asses, and generally having a bad time. Poor Elsa and Honeymaren had to work hard to keep from just losing their shit laughing. 42. What is their song? I mean...I don’t know what their like...OFFICIAL song is, but the songs “West End Kids” by the New Politics and “Paper Rings” by Taylor Swift have always had Big Hiccanna Energy to me. 43. What does their room look like? It’s divided pretty neatly in two. Hiccup’s side has a near-spotless floor, a desk with a perfectly-organized bookshelf and a very chic desk lamp, several movie posters and a hanging whiteboard with miscellaneous invention designs and reminders about random stuff written on it. Anna’s side looks like Hurricane Katrina just swept through, this time with a personal vendetta against snack wrappers. 44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded? Anna would absolutely be the sort to just fuckin tear through hoards of zombies screeching battle cries and knocking them all upside the head with a crowbar, or just straight plowing down an entire hoard with some freaking machine gun she stumbled on and taught herself how to use because she wanted to be badass XD Meanwhile Hiccup is absolutely grateful for the protection because Anna can fuck up a LOT of zombies at once, but he also has to keep the girl from going TOO crazy and accidentally putting her impulsive dumbass in grave peril XD 45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed? Hiccup, for sure. He’s used to being up pretty early because I imagine you get the most dragon-flying and exploring in if you wake up early, and he knows food is basically the only thing that will make Anna not hate getting up, so he makes her breakfast in bed as often as he can to make waking up suck less. And sure enough, after a while Anna starts to hate the morning just a liiiiittle bit less XD 46. Who loves kids more? Anna! Given how fun-loving and energetic she is, she probably loves hanging out with and being around kids. Hiccup likes kids fine, but he often feels kinda awkward and weird around them (I mean...more so than usual XD) because he isn’t sure how to interact with them. When they’re around kids, Hiccup usually follows Anna’s lead on how to talk to them. 47. Do either of them have a crazy ex? Well Anna’s ex attempted to use her to infiltrate and take over a kingdom and then tried to murder her sister so I mean 48. What are their favourite colours? Going by their canon color schemes, I’m guessing Anna’s would probably be like spring green and magenta, and Hiccup’s would be a more dark, foresty green and red. 49. Who likes to cook? Hiccup. Anna can’t cook for shit because she generally doesn’t have the patience for it and would just as soon live off of freezer food if she could because it’s less trouble XD Hiccup is good at making/building things, which actually translates to him being a pretty good chef. He makes Anna food a lot and she absolutely ADORES his cooking. 50. Who is the forgetful one? Anna. Gotta love that ADHD babeyyyy! (I mean I’m practically irl Anna and I am NOTORIOUSLY forgetful so it’s gotta be her XD)

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