#not for like masochistic reasons but more like sadistic reasons | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sstrwbrryccke · 4 months

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— bullying him pt.3 | sub soobin

part 1 | part 2

tags: loser!nerd!soobin x bully!mean!reader, gn reader, possessive reader, mentions of possessive acts, pet play slightly, dubcon, tons of public humiliation, public sex, bullying, mutual pinning with heavy denial, both are obsessed for each other, unhealthy relationships, reader is pretty sadistic, foot on crotch, exhibitionism, handjob, multiple orgasms, public fondling, fluff at end

tag: @zuzuhasablog

you tapped an impatient foot on the ground, periodically checking your phone for the time. he was late by 2 minutes now, and you feel your irritation rise as you type snarky texts to him. how was it that you were the one who came early to the pity date? it was seriously ridiculous. shouldn’t he be on time to the date he looked forward to?

yn: where tf are you? loser: im sorry im sorry im so sorry im coming right now yn: im going to pull your hair out when i see you mutt. loser: im sorry please forgive me

if it turned out that he had stood you up, you were seriously going to rain hell on him. he’s going to get shoved into the locker, have his hair roughly grabbed and face thoroughly punched until he’s bloodied and bruised. though perhaps it wouldn't be that much of a punishment compared to your usual bedroom activities with him. he would probably enjoy the process too; as it meant all your attention was on him. you realised after a bit that he really was a desperate. masochistic. mutt. (or maybe he just craves your validation that badly)

just as you were cursing him out in your mind, you see a tall figure in the distance, stumbling and running towards you like the loser he is. you can tell he spots you as well because he quickly turns to the nearest reflective surface to fix his appearance and hair; even popping a mint in his mouth before running up to you. his face was pink, probably from the exercise— his plump lips pressing into an apologetic smile.

“sorry, i’m sorry i’m late.” he was slightly out of breath from running.

“sorry? fucking mutt. do you not respect my time? if you were any later i would’ve stood your ass up.” you shove him by the shoulder and he looks at you like a kicked dog.

he shakes his head profusely at your accusation, desperately trying to get back into your good favours.

“no— no! i’m, i, i’m so sorry. i respect your time, i’m so dumb i know.”

soobin degrades himself as he chews at his bottom lip, hoping he didn’t upset you enough for you to leave him. he had been thinking about this date all night, he could barely even get any sleep. if he messes up now he’ll never forgive himself!

“—you, you look amazing by the way.” he stammers, fingers fiddling with the hem of his sweater.

“i always look like this.” you deadpan, you didn’t bother to dress up more than you usually do in your school uniform. the most you did was pick out a simple, trendy outfit and brush your hair. bare minimum really.

“yeah you always look- i mean no, not that you don’t look amazing, always, because you do! but you look extra. amazing. compared to, usual…” he awkwardly stammers, making it worse for himself. he decides to just shut up before he embarrasses himself more and you ghost him.

“shut up and start walking, you loser.”

he follows behind you eagerly, glad you still want to hang out with him even after the most embarrassing stumble of his life. though to be honest, he stumbles like this quite a lot, and for some reason, you tolerate it (with only a few snide comments here and there). it was a few quiet seconds of walking, him being too afraid to speak up and you taking sly glances at him.

“why were you late?” you break the air, his head was lowered the entire walk, but he raises his head with your question. he was clearly nervous and sheepish as he averted his gaze.

“i… was picking an outfit.”

you give him a doubtful look and he continues, stuttering. “i— i didn’t know what style you liked. and… and i was trying to comply to your requests.”

ohhh... right, the request. you snicker to yourself. you forgot about that. it was just a small throwaway statement you texted him with no real thought behind it. you wanted to see if he would really follow through or not.

“so? show me.”

he’s nervous again, arms bracing himself as he glances around to check for people. soobin mentally hypes himself up before he pulls down his white turtleneck, showing you the silver collar around his neck. you cover your mouth with an audible pfft, laughing at him and he quickly rolls his turtleneck back up. god he was so foolish, but so obedient and cute.

“and? what about my other request?”

he looks at you wide eyed, stammering. “i, i can’t show you that!”

“did you do it?”

he blushes, hands clutching the edge of your hoodie, looking at you through his bangs. “please not here…”

he begs and you feel your heart soar. fuck, who taught him to act so cute? since when did the nerd know how to play sly? you clutch his crotch to feel for his cock and he silently whimpers.

“you didn’t wear any underwear, good boy.”

he trembles, moving away from your touch to look around, hoping no one caught you two. but his heart was in his throat and he was so excited about the praise you gave. so you liked what he did? he was over the moon. ‘good boy’, he repeated in his head. ‘good boy’.

it was unbearably adorable watching the cogs in his head malfunction, and you had to control yourself from ravaging him right here and there. you take the moment to appreciate his appearance, it was pretty obvious without him having to say so that he put a lot of effort into his outfit. he was wearing stylishly rimmed glasses, a jean jacket with a soft-lined collar, a white turtleneck and black pants. he also managed to get his hair under control, bangs carefully styled and curled.

you always thought he had looks, but this just proved how stunning he could look if he cleaned himself up. everyone else seems to agree too, and you notice the unsubtle glances thrown towards soobin. he stands out, tall and lean with a bunny-like charm. a few girls whispered and giggled, clearly blushing about him. but the attention twisted something dark in your chest, it grasped and dug its filthy nails into your heart. you wanted to lock him in your room and never let him see the light of day ever again. it was an insane thought process, deranged and unhinged. he wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a victim. you needed to get a grip.

you clutch his wrist tightly, pulling him along so he walks faster. he winces at the hold but lets you roughly handle him because it’s almost like you two are holding hands. he stares longingly at your hand and his, wishing you would interlock them again like you did yesterday. when you reach the mall, you watch with silent satisfaction as his eyes rake over the stores. there was a subtle pride you felt seeing him enjoy the choice you made.

“we have some time to kill before the restaurant reservation.”

he looks at you, eyes wide and plump lips smiling, you could almost see his irises sparkling. stupidly hopeful eyes. “you made a reservation for me?”

“don’t look at me like that. i just dont want to wait in line.”

he turns his gaze back to the front as you demand, but you can tell he is still giddy, ecstatic that you put even a sliver of effort into the date. it really didn't take much to satisfy him. even the slightest attention had him trembling. the two of you explore the mall, and naturally, soobin’s nerdy ass is drawn to the anime and manga stores. you tail behind him, mindlessly noting each thing he stares or geeks at.

while he was shuffling through the array of mangas, you pick out a shirt with a few familiar characters on it; you faintly remember soobin mentioning this show when you asked about his phone background. you tap him on the shoulder to get his attention, pointing to the shirt. “isn’t this your favourite anime?”

“oh! it’s limited edition!” he gasps out, excitement in his tone. taking the shirt from your grasp. his eyes widen in glee as he examines the details. the joy didn't last however, and soon he was putting the shirt back on the racks with a meek smile.

you raise an eyebrow “thought you liked it, nerd?”

he shyly looks at you, “yeah, but it’s too expensive.” he admits, clearly embarrassed. he feels like he was parading around his misfortune, look at this loser! no friends, no lover and now he doesn’t even have money. choi soobin, born on this earth and destined to be a loser.

“i’ll buy it for you.” your words cut through his thoughts. his cute hopeful eyes look up at you, and you interrupt him before he could utter out another word.

“but, you need to try it on for me first.” you continue, a pointed look on your face.

he pause for a second, the request was innocent enough, right?

☆★☆

he should’ve known, nothing was innocent with you. that's why he’s standing in the middle of the changing room with you sitting in the corner. a smirk on your lips.

“strip.”

he hesitates, but slowly shrugs off his jean jacket, he’s done this many times in front of you, and you’ve explored every nook and cranny his body can offer. but he never ceases to feel shy in his own skin, especially when you observe him like a collector would with a jewel. maybe its the setting that’s making him bashful, it feels borderline illegal to do such an act in the mall. even though many people have stripped down naked in the changing room, the way you make him feel is so sinful.

he takes off his turtleneck, exposing his bare chest, the silver collar complimenting his pale skin beautifully. it wasn’t much of a striptease and more of an activity he had to get over and done with, but it was still extremely arousing for you. watching him debase himself in his casual clothing. normally you only saw him in his school uniform (bruised, injured, crying, fucked out of his mind and all other similar variants), but watching him in his own clothing made you feel so much more powerful. like you had control and dominance over him even outside of school.

he awkwardly stands in the middle, half-naked. waiting for your next command. it didn't even take that much to train him! naturally so obedient.

“take off your pants too.”

he whimpers at this, clutching at his pants but not making a move. he begs you with his eyes, take pity on him please! not here!

“i’m… not wearing anything underneath”

“i know, take it off.”

“i, i, no, it’s.” he stammers, sweaty hands staining his pants.

“no? are you saying no to me?”

he shivers at your tone, nervously gulping. this didn't seem good at all. “i—!”his ears ring, reverberating in his chest. his right cheek was stinging red. “wh—“

you slap him again.

“mutts don’t talk.”

he shuts up at this, tears threatening to spill onto his glasses. you pull him forward by the silver collar and he helplessly stumbles as you tug him around. you observe the red slap marks on his cheeks, intertwined with his blush.

“you’ve been disrespectful since the beginning of the date. first you show up late and now you refuse to do something so simple? are you trying to make me mad choi soobin?”

he shakes his head desperately, a tear slipping down. he must be the lowest scum of the earth, because the rougher you treat him, the tighter his pants get. he isn’t a masochist he swears, but your attention (no matter good or bad) on him feels so good. he was so touch and attention starved, desperate for any kind of recognition from you.

“i’ll only repeat myself once, strip.”

he stumbles up, shaky hands quickly peeling his pants off his legs. his already hard cock embarrassingly erect and dripping the moment it’s exposed.

“look at that.” you coo, slapping his dick, making precum drip to the floor as he cries. “pretending to be so shy and innocent while you’re sporting a rock hard boner.”

he snivels pathetically, shaking his head and making his hair tousle around. the silver collar glints like a gem in the light. you chuckle cruelly. “okay, put your limited edition shirt on now.”

he bites back a whimper, he wanted you to touch him so bad. but he obediently slips on the shirt, it feels so dull against his skin, barely covering his cock. soobin rubs his thighs together, now more interested in you rather than the shirt. he wanted you to adore and spoil him, hell, spank him and hurt him too— just anything!

as if you read his mind, your hand reaches out, before you could even touch him, he starts trembling. you pull back with an amused smile and he immediately begins to cry and beg.

“no— no please touch me please touch me i’m sorry, i, i wanna, i wanna be good for you please!”

“bunny can’t even keep quiet?” you tease, putting your hands behind your back and he whines. the nickname thumping in his heart.

he starts again, though this time he tries to control his voice, suddenly aware that you two were still in public— only hidden away by a thin curtain. his bottom lip quivers as he moves closer to you, fingers meekly reaching out to grasp your hoodie. he leans his head on your chest and a small weak whisper escapes his pink lips.

“you already own me… so please just touch me…”

a shiver runs down your spine, holy shit this was dangerous. playing sly at first and now coy? he had an effect on you that you weren’t sure you liked. “i get it already so shut up and come here.” you lowly groan, pulling his body flush against yours. he tremors out a whine as you roughly grab his cock. he couldn’t complain though, because your warm hands were embracing him and touching him exactly where he wants. he melts in your hold, face comfortably nestled in the crook of your neck as you played with his cock. his groans and whines die down in your shoulder, and the way you thumbed his slit was almost domestic.

fuck what was this pathetic man doing to you? here you are in the changing rooms, letting this loser hug and sniffle into your shoulder as you jerk him off. the whole situation was bizarre and you were starting to feel lightheaded. weren't he supposed to be the one servicing you?

you press down on his cockhead particularly hard and he cries into your neck, biting the collar of your hoodie as you slide his cock underneath the limited edition shirt, rubbing him with the friction of the fabric. this sets him off, the motion just felt way too good, he keens into your fist, panting into your shoulder as he holds your hoodie tightly.

it was taking a little more than usual to make him orgasm, normally you would describe his orgasm speed as 'embarrassingly fast', but he seemed to be holding out for some reason. you give his cock an experimental squeeze and he just digs his face into your neck more. then it hits you, you haven’t given him permission yet. could he have been waiting for your verbal confirmation? maybe that's why he was squinting his eyes so tightly and biting down on your collar. just the thought itself sparked heat in your lower regions. it satisfied you more than you would like to admit.

so you lean down to where he was tucked, breath touching his ear.

“come for me”

it was a simple test on a guinea pig, cause and effect.

you eye him down as his body quivers, face flushing a thousand shades of red with an embarrassing amount of saliva wetting your hoodie collar. right after the command he releases, cock jittery and shaky as it spurts out come into the limited edition shirt. he finally lets go of your hoodie, taking a second to gain back his strength. when he comes to clarity, you can see the panic set in his throat. staring at the ruined limited edition shirt.

"what do we do? it's dirty now!"

"we buy it, what else?"

he hesitates and you raise a brow. "but, the, cashier she might, see this."

he vaguely gestures to the come stain on the shirt, right above his now flaccid cock.

"so? hurry up and change."

soobin seems troubled at your nonchalant response, but changes back to his outfit as you asked, timidly holding the ruined limited edition shirt. you shove the dollar bills in his hand.

"go up to the cashier, and pay."

somehow he summons up the courage to walk up to the counter, trying to ignore the feeling of his dick making contact with the rough jean fabric each time he took a step. it was all smooth at first, he let the cashier scan the item (making sure the stained patch was hidden), paid with the cash and felt the relief of freedom just as the cashier took the shirt to bag.

only for her to pause, soobin feels his palms clamber with sweat. she was staring at the shirt, an unreadable expression on her face before her eyes meet back with his.

"sir, it seems this shirt is stained."

god please just strike him down already.

"oh." he feels so dumb, only able to let out a sound in response. his tongue wasn't cooperating, how was he going to explain? what could he say? what should he say?

"ugh," the sound of exasperation makes him jolt. she's disgusted. she's definitely disgusted and he can never show his face in this store again.

"—it seems like the only one in stock. i'm so sorry for that sir."

she still doesn't know a thing. his heart was threatening to jump out of his throat. "it's, it's alright." his words came out weaker than he would've liked.

"are you sure si—"

"yes! yes! please give me that!" he couldn't help his sudden outburst, snatching the item from the poor lady's hands and running off in the opposite direction. he was dying from humiliation and his feet carried him like the wind over to you. he bit back tears as he faced you, bashfully showing you the receipt. it was times like this when he wishes he wasn't so tall, it would be so much easier to hide away in shame.

"what happened?" your introspective voice came through, he could hear your smirk.

"she saw the stain" he had to use all his willpower not to cry, hands clutching onto the shirt tightly. it was humiliating to admit, but a small part of him felt relief in his confession— as if the natural progression was for you to give him comfort and ease his anxieties.

"look at you soobin, so embarrassed and ashamed of your come stained shirt." you coo in your familiarly condescending yet comforting tone and he folds, nodding in agreement, tears brimming in his eyes. you rub his cheek, which was still red from the slap. it was such a surprisingly caring act that surprised both you and him, but he melted into your touch like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"you were so obedient bunny, let's go to the restaurant." he dumbly bobbed his head at the nickname. all he could think was how the humiliation was so worth the reward.

☆★☆

the cafe was packed, but it wasn't a big problem in the private booth. you tap your finger on the counter as you watch soobin go through the menu for the fifth time now. indecisive was his middle name.

"hurry up."

"what do you want?"

he's asked this for a millionth time now, could he really not decide without your input? the waiter has been standing there for a good minute. "dude, just choose what you want already. i'm getting impatient."

he purses his lips in clear panic, pointing to a random food item on the menu. "i'll, i'll have this!"

"an extra spicy jjamppong coming up." the waiter escapes quickly, leaving soobin with an exasperated and intimidated expression after having his order read out for him.

"what? loser can't handle spice?" you tease. he looks at you with a frown.

"i can eat spice!"

"right." the conversation ends there, but you weren't just going to just let him off like that. the table was so nicely set up after all, such a thick tablecloth.

"soobin, pull down your pants."

he immediately widens his eyes, looking around rapidly to see if anyone heard. "i, i don't know i,"

"calm down, no one can see under the tablecloth. pull it down." you rest your foot on his inner thigh, signalling to him. he lets out a shaky breath. your grin broadens as his hands travel down, shuffling his pants down to his knees. still paranoid, he takes another glance at the other customers.

you focus on something else entirely, your trailing foot to his exposed crotch to be exact. when the leather of your soles makes impact with his naked cock he wails before slapping a hand over his mouth. his thighs instinctively clamp around your foot, shivering and shaking his head. "mean, you're mean."

his bottom lip was quivering, thighs still clamped tightly as you pressed your foot down harder. "please." he whispers.

"hm?"

"please please ple—"

"here's your orders." the waiter interrupts with both of your orders, soobin glances at the man with terrified eyes, looking over at you in a silent prayer.

you smile graciously (you press harder on his cock) as you take the plates (his thighs shake and you rub your foot ever so slightly), what a nice waiter, of course, you had to start a conversation! (he tried to control his panting but his face was a scarlet red), turns out the waiter was born in japan, how very interesting (you start going in a circular motion and soobin nearly keens), his father met his mother during a road trip! (you knew from his expression that he was already leaking onto your shoes), wow and he's fluent in three languages (soobin's thighs are spasming and you were rubbing him hard, you can tell he couldn't hold it in anytime soon).

"it all started when i encountered a multilingual tourist as a child."

the conversation was a little redundant now, wasn't it? you were talking to the waiter, yet staring intensely at soobin in the eyes, a snicker on your lips. "come again?" you press down, and his body shudders, thighs so tightly squeezed around your foot it could almost cut circulation, he was curled in ever so slightly. shivering in the aftereffects of his second orgasm today.

"huh?" the confused tone of the waiter piques.

"nevermind, thank you for your time."

the waiter leaves, slightly befuddled by the conversation. while you turn your attention back to soobin who is breathing heavily with red-tinted cheeks. "wow, orgasming in a public space again, what a perv."

the words hit him hard in his chest and tears drop from his eyes, he could only let out a small 'sorry' in shame before dropping his head down. his sleeves come up to desperately wipe at his eyes and save some face, at least it was all over now and he could enjoy his meal in peace, hopefully!

"can... can i pull my pants back up now?"

"hmm can you?" you tease, and he pauses, unsure of how to approach the situation.

"can i please?" some begging would do the trick, right?

"you can if you jerk yourself off."

he pouts, and more tears drop on the table as he squeezes his thighs around your foot. but he obediently slides his hands down to try and make himself hard again. his cock was so so so sensitive to the sensation, but limp in his hands. it hurts to stroke, it hurts to touch. the longer it took for him to get it up the more he frowned and panicked.

finally, you had enough, you were just playing with him anyway, so you slide your foot off with a chuckle. he looks at you in confusion. "i was joking dumbass, put your pants back on."

you dig into your food, and soobin follows suit right after he shuffles his pants back on, looking up at you hesitantly. though the moment the food touched his tongue, all he could think was—spicy! now he was crying for an entirely different reason, he was never the strongest spice contender, and this was another league of spice.

you notice his discomfort, laughing when he ducks his head down. "too spicy?" "no..." he responds, surprisingly stubborn on this matter. he pettily eats another spoonful of noodles (swiftly to regret it). you just roll your eyes, watching him eat in amusement.

☆★☆

the date ended smoothly after, nothing else notable happened (other than some pervy touches and teasing from your side), back at your room again (it was a common occurrence for the two of you to stay in your room, he told you once he didn't enjoy staying in his home).

you flopped onto your bed while soobin shuffled in, putting his things neatly to the side and closing the door behind him. he stared at you as you typed messages to your friends (they had been filling up your notifications all day because you were ignoring them), he awkwardly stood near the foot of the bed.

"uhm, i, thank you, for today. i had fun." he starts bashfully.

"so you don't have fun with me every other day?" you deadpan and he stutters, being caught off guard.

"n—no that's, not what i—"

"i wasn't serious, idiot."

he shuts his mouth quickly, silent again and unsure of how to start up another conversation.

"god you're such a loser. look in that bag over there." you break the air, pointing to a grey bag you had been carrying for the whole day. he was curious about it but wasn't brave enough to ask. so when you gave him the go-ahead he didn't hesitate to dig his hand in. when he pulled out a box containing a figurine from his favourite anime, clear confusion was evident in his face.

"i didn't know you liked—"

"no shithead it's for you."

his mouth drops open, bunny-like eyes widening as your words start to register in his head. instantly he lights up visibly, smiling uncontrollably as he admires the figurine in his hands. it wasn't anything crazy, was rather affordable compared to the prices of other figurines, but soobin's heart soared at the gift and he felt like he was on cloud nine. you didn't pay attention to his reaction, or that's how it seemed, because you were secretly staring at every differing expression on his face.

"thank you... i, thank you so much..."

"it's not even a big deal, you're so dramatic."

but it was a big deal for soobin, he tenderly held the gift in his hands. this was the first time he's gotten anything from anyone other than his parents and occasionally aunt and uncle. it really did feel like the two of you were dating, even if nothing is official and the most accurate label on the relationship was 'bully and victim'.

"can i unwrap it?"

"i don't care."

he slowly unwraps the gift, taking the figurine out of the box carefully as he begins to admire all the details of the sculpture. you, on the other hand, admire him, no matter how much you deny it, there was something so addicting about both his happiness and pain. it hooked you on like a drug.

"sleep over."

he knew what you meant, in a seemingly harmless phrase. it often happened like this, an insignificant and passing statement. strange in retrospect, you were his bully and the door was right there, if soobin wanted to, he could make a run for it.

but the both of you knew he wouldn't. your attention was almost an obsession to him, no matter how good or bad.

"okay."

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wttcsms · 8 months

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as it was ; suguru geto.

pairing suguru geto x f!reader word count 4.2k synopsis suguru comes back, only to find that you've been waiting and wanting this whole entire time. content contains modern no curses!au, gojo's sister!reader, brother's best friend, creampie, pet names (good girl, baby), most of the fic is geto's introspection, possessive sex, mutual pining/longing author’s notes im not even horny for geto like that, but i wanted to write angsty smut abt spreading ur legs for a guy that left u & who else is better for this than geto <3

First words are always a bit tricky to get right, especially whenever he has to take into account that he essentially ghosted you a couple of years ago, after taking your virginity no less, and now he’s back in the godforsaken city he swore he was never coming back to, and he’s just at a loss about what to say and more importantly, how to say it.

He supposes an apology, for starters, would be a good first move. And maybe it would be, could be, should be, if only he wasn’t him and you weren’t you, and the two of you were not something so confusing and intricate that it’s hard to put into words and harder still to describe with emotions. The two of you are something raw and painful, both of you taking turns playing both sadist and masochist.

Even to himself, the extent of your relationship sounds twisted, but there was always an underlying purity to it, something that justified its existence. To this day, Suguru Geto is certain that you’re the only person who ever loved him for him, with a love so pure and just that he tries to hide it from everyone else before they can get their filthy hands on it and taint it, twist it into something it’s not.

Sorry I left won’t cut it, and Geto doesn’t even bother trying to come up with any other variations of apology because it’s not necessarily your forgiveness that he’s come back for. The opportunity to say “I’m sorry” and have it actually mean something has long since passed. All that’s left to say is the truth for why he left, which for some odd reason, seems even harder to do than his original disappearing act.

I missed you — that’s a slight improvement. It’s the truth, if not an understatement of it. He doesn’t regret leaving Tokyo, he just regrets leaving you. Which he could say, if you would actually open the door to face him.

He figures it’s what he deserves. He deserves worse, if he’s going to be entirely honest. He deserves a slap to the face, or a kick to his balls, or for you to tell him that you hate him, that you never want to see him ever again.

He knocks on your apartment door, harder this time, as if it’s something urgent. And maybe it is. He’s felt more like himself than he ever has after moving, but the solitude of the countryside got boring soon after, leaving him only with the ghosts from his past to keep him company. He thinks if he doesn’t see you, in the flesh, he might actually go insane.

He knocks again, only to be met with more silence and a door that’s starting to become more of a familiar sight than he would like. Fuck, what is he even doing? Showing up here was a bad idea to begin with, and it’s only seemingly getting worse by every agonizing second that ticks by. Even if you do open the door, there’s always the chance that you won’t let him get a single word in — that’d be the smart choice, anyway.

And you’re a bright girl, don’t get him wrong. Something about the Gojo bloodline makes your family incapable of producing anything less than prodigal sons and daughters. If you’re not proof of this fact, there’s your older brother.

Yet another reason why showing up here is such a shitty plan. Satoru will catch wind of his visit, and when he does, he’ll show no restraint in showing Suguru what all of his private boxing lessons are good for. A broken nose and missing tooth would be a fair exchange to see you for at least a second, though. A tradeoff that he doesn’t need to debate on.

You have to leave your apartment eventually. Suguru dances with the idea of just making camp outside your door and waiting for your stubbornness to fizzle out. It’ll be embarrassing, and your neighbors will surely have something to say about it, but it would be well worth it.

He hears the ding! of the elevator opening and human reflex causes his head to turn at the sound of the noise.

Oh.

The world becomes contradictory at this very moment. The air suddenly stills, but the atmosphere itself seems to come alive at the same time. Stagnant air, bursting with electricity and something awe-inspiring. Everything seems to slow down, but suddenly he’s acutely aware of just how alarmingly fast his heart is beating. It’s been a while since he’s last seen you, not even bothering to check up on your social media because he knows one DM from you would have him crossing the ocean to be back by your side.

The reason why you weren’t answering your door was simply because you weren’t even home. Relief floods his body, makes him less tense, only for him to stiffen up once more whenever his eyes trail over to the warm body awfully close to you.

Or maybe it’s the other way around, since you’re the one clinging onto him.

You and Kento Nanami both look like you two have seen a ghost, and all things considered, you wouldn’t be wrong.

“What are you doing here?” You’re the first to speak, with Nanami’s arm wrapped protectively around your waist, and it’s this closeness that’s the only thing Suguru finds himself able to focus on. It’s been years. He shouldn’t feel this way. You’re free to do whatever you want with whoever you want. It’s your life. He’s the one that chose to walk out of it, anyway.

“I just wanted to talk,” he answers. Which isn’t a lie. He wanted to talk. He wanted to fight and make up and fuck your brains out and beg for forgiveness and cook you breakfast in the morning and warm your bed, amongst other things, too. But, he figures the condensed version of his list will do, especially considering that three’s a crowd, and most of his itinerary was for your ears only. “Did I come at a bad time?”

You bite your bottom lip, slowly removing yourself from Nanami’s grip. Nanami looks at you first, concern evident in his warm eyes, eyes that you wish were just a bit darker and colder, so that they would be the ones you’re so accustomed to drowning in.

You like Nanami well enough. He’s kind and looks out for you, and sometimes you even consider making a move on him first since he’s too much of a gentleman to cross any boundaries. Then again, you don’t think Nanami sees you as anything more than a little sister, and the last time you fucked one of your brother’s best friends…

It’s why you just give Nanami a smile, one that tells him that you’ve got this under control. His facial expression doesn’t give any indication of what he’s thinking, but the glare he sends Suguru’s way says enough.

Suguru can appreciate the fierce protectiveness Nanami has towards you, but it doesn’t mean he likes it. Especially when it’s Suguru that’s considered to be the threat.

You move to unlock your door once Nanami makes his reluctant exit, and when you enter your apartment, you conveniently don’t shut the door. Suguru trails behind you.

You turn on the lights, your living room and kitchen blending together in an open-floor plan, bathed in the stark, white lights hanging from your high ceilings. Your apartment, at least what Suguru can see of it, is tastefully decorated. Courtesy of your mother, he’s sure. He would ask about her, ask how she’s doing, but he figures now’s just not the right timing.

It doesn’t seem to be the right timing for anything he wants to say. He wants to mention that he’s thought about you, thought about reaching out — sometimes to explain himself, and other times just to discuss the mundane aspects of life — but he thinks that would be even worse than apologizing. It would be cruel of him to dangle this information in your face, haunt you with the knowledge that all this time, he’s truly been avoiding you. Knowing you, you would have questioned him on why he didn’t bother reaching out, and he would have been stuck admitting that it’s simply because he was too scared that you wouldn’t answer.

“Want a drink?” You ask him, back facing him as you peer into your fridge. He catches a glimpse of shiny glass bottles, water bottled in Europe and with the optimal pH balance, he’s certain of it. His throat feels a bit dry, but he tells you no.

“I drank enough water on the drive up here,” he tells you, which again, isn’t a lie. Suguru feels a bit pleased with himself, even if it is a bit narcissistic of himself for expecting a pat on the back for doing something so simple. He supposes it’s just because he’s gotten so used to never being honest with himself — or others, for that matter — so his current streak for telling the truth seems like something to celebrate.

“I didn't drink enough.” You say, and he can’t tell if it’s alcohol you’re talking about or water. You’re a lightweight; yet another trait that seems to be passed down the Gojo family. That explains Nanami escorting you home, then.

“Aren’t you going to ask how I found you?” Suguru helps himself to taking a seat on the white couch in your living room. Because there’s no walls separating the two different spaces, he can still look at you from this position as you rest your elbows on your kitchen’s island, as if needing the support.

“If you wanted me to know, you’d let me know.” It’s the way you say it that reveals that this comment isn’t made just in reply to his current question, but for everything else Suguru was going to follow it with. Don’t you want to know where I went? Don’t you want to know why I left?

It’s amazing what humans are capable of. Nearly six years since the two of you have lost contact — since Suguru broke all contact — and yet, you can still read him just as well as he can read you. You see him for what he is, not whatever mask he wants to disguise himself with, and it’s scary, he thinks. Scary to be seen by someone. And nice. It’s nice to have someone know you’re a monster and still not run away.

He’s not quite sure what that says about you.

“It’s a bit of a funny story.” He says, trying to steer this conversation to a more lighthearted tone even though the two of you are nowhere close to feeling light and the jury’s still out on whether or not Suguru Geto has a heart. “You don’t need the reminder, but don’t ever tell Mei Mei a secret you want to keep.”

The mention of your shared friend — if Mei Mei can even be considered one — makes the corners of your pretty mouth tilt upward. Mei Mei was born with a silver spoon, but the running joke is that it wasn’t in her mouth because she bartered with the doctor and blackmailed him into giving her a gold one. If you have the funds, Mei Mei has the information you’re looking for.

She’s the only number Suguru saved in his phone contacts, and it’s only because he knew that if he needed anyone else’s number, Mei Mei would readily give it after her Venmo request goes through.

“Of course she would tell you my address.” You say, but you don’t sound upset at all. Just amused, like this whole situation is something endearing, and you don’t harbor any ill feelings towards either of them, even though both Suguru and Mei Mei technically violated your trust. Suguru more so than Mei Mei, but, well, semantics.

“Aren’t you mad?” The “at me” is unspoken.

“Mei Mei is a free spirit.” It’s a joke, and Suguru makes a sound from his throat that resembles a laugh. Mei Mei may do whatever she wants, but nothing about her comes free.

He knows you know what he was actually asking. He’s been trying to gauge your reaction to everything he says, trying to see if you hate his guts or not.

“I missed you.” You tell him suddenly, and while he’s imagined those words coming out of your mouth, it still shakes him up a bit. It’s hard constantly posturing as if he’s cool and collected, nothing ever bothering him, his body and expression never betraying him. But it’s his heart that gives him away, and it’s heart that you hold, and no matter what face he puts on, he knows that you’ll know what the words he won’t say are.

“Don’t apologize.” You continue, closing the distance between you two and opting to take a seat next to him. There’s about six inches of space separating you two. The distance shapeshifts in his mind, sometimes becoming mere millimeters and sometimes feeling more like there’s an ocean between you both.

The sorry was on the tip of his tongue and it traveled all the way there from his heart. It would be a waste of a journey for him to not say it, but he’s certain the apology would do more harm than good, even if it is genuine.

Suguru stands out against the stark white of your apartment. Your mom likes the aesthetic of it, and since it’s your parents’ money, you merely shrugged and let her do whatever she wanted. In his black pants and black sweatshirt, he looks almost out of place in your home.

The thought that he doesn’t belong makes your heart hurt more than the burn of the alcohol from tonight going down your throat.

You don’t waste time wondering where Suguru went because for all intents and purposes, you never even knew where he came from to begin with. You knew him since you were children; your favorite out of all your brother’s friends because it was always Suguru who let you tag along and trail behind them. No one really knows much about Suguru’s life, his past, present, and future all a big blur to anyone but himself. From the way he slowly turns to face you, dark eyes meeting yours, you start to think of the possibility that maybe not even Suguru is an open book with himself.

Suguru looks like a shadow, standing out from the brightness of everything that is surrounding him in your living room. You want to ask him the questions that plague your mind ever since he’s been gone, but you don’t, because you’re scared he is a shadow. One wrong move, and he just disappears from your grasp once again.

There are the hard-hitting questions, of course. The ones that search for why he left and why he told no one and why he didn’t bother taking you. Then there are the gentler ones that would still require him to rip himself open and bare himself to you, things like how’s your new place and meet anyone interesting? You feel his gaze travel from your eyes to the slope of your nose and the apples of your cheek, downward to your lips. The intensity of his stare makes you nervously lick your lips, a tiny, quick action, but his eyes greedily take in the sight of the tip of your pink tongue casually making an appearance, only to retreat behind your pretty pink, glossed lips.

“Are you mad that I came back?” Suguru finds himself taking the role of interviewer, since it’s evident to the two of you that you know better than to bother asking him any questions. He feels like you’re treating him a bit like a stray cat, all cautious and scared of provoking him or forcing him to run away. He wants to tell you that this is not the case and that he actually plans on staying this time around, but he hasn’t entirely convinced himself yet, so he’s not going to break your heart with any more empty promises.

“No. Like I said, I missed you.” He wants to be able to blame your honesty on account of you being drunk, but he knows that you’ve just always been honest to a fault.

“You shouldn’t.” He tells you this, and you scoff. Probably because Suguru is the last person who should be giving any sort of life advice.

“Guess what I’m thinking.” You say, and Suguru feels something come alive from within, like he’s been frozen for the past six years, and the more he gets to bask in the warmth of your presence, the more he starts to defrost. There’s not a single hint of anger or malice in your tone, just the familiar, lighthearted, girlish tone of yours.

“That you think I’m a creep and want me to get the hell out.”

You frown, rolling your eyes, tucking your feet beneath you to get more comfortable on the couch.

“I’m thinking about that last time you told me I shouldn’t be doing something.” There’s a gleam in your bright eyes that clearly spells out desire, and Suguru is very, very close to defrosting. In fact, there’s a heat that’s beginning to settle deep in him, and maybe he should know better than to indulge in it, but it’s been years, and you are sitting here in front of him, pretty and fresh, and his hindbrain takes the driver’s seat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But he does know, and he knows that you know that he knows, just as you seemingly know everything about him. Maybe not about his childhood — or lack, thereof — or what he’s been up to, but you know the important stuff. The things that make him tick and all the words he fails to say. Three words. Three words that he doesn’t think he’ll ever muster enough courage to say to you, but from the look in your eyes, you already know.

“I’ll jog your memory.”

And suddenly, your lips are pressed against his. You’re kissing him, and like the lovesick fool he is, he’s kissing you back. It’s pure muscle memory, maybe even animal instinct. He thought that leaving Tokyo was the right thing to do, and for the most part, it was, but with your lips perfectly melding with his own, he thinks that leaving was stupid.

Making out is such a juvenile ordeal, but he relishes in it because Suguru feels like he’s spent most of his youth trying to outrun it, and now he’s trying to take advantage of what his boyhood should have consisted of. The kisses are now bordering on sloppy and hazy, and somehow, you end up straddling his lap. He’s hard, and he should be embarrassed at popping a boner just from wet kisses, but it’s you. You have an effect on him that no one else does. His Achilles. The one weakness only he can feel.

Suguru knows that he is not a good person because a good person doesn’t go behind their best friend’s back and fucks their little sister. He had told, thirty minutes before introducing you to the feeling of his cock stretching you out, that the two of you shouldn’t be doing that. Suguru knows that he is not a good person because he cannot be any happier at the fact that history has a funny way of repeating itself. Six years later, and the two of you are back in a similar position.

You’re starting to rut against him, your dress riding up your thighs and exposing more of your skin to him. Suguru helps himself to handfuls of your soft flesh, squeezing in a manner that can’t be defined as gentle, but he loves how you take him as he is without any sort of complaint. All you do is let out a low moan, your pantyclad pussy grinding against his equally clothed bulge.

Your movements are a bit desperate, frenzied. You’re getting lost in pleasure already, and he hasn’t even done much to elicit such a reaction. The idea that only he can get you this riled up with doing so little makes him impossibly harder, and he looks down, realizing that you’re so soaked, your panties are practically translucent.

The two of you have the option of taking things slow, but neither of you want to do that. When you spend some time starving, you don’t savor the meal, you scarf it down.

That’s what the two of you are — hungry, greedy — as you both hastily strip as much clothing as you can bear to spend time getting out of. Your minidress is tossed carelessly on the living room floor, and Suguru can only bother with unzipping his pants and pushing down his briefs just enough to free his cock.

The intrusion of the tip of his cock entering your wet, needy cunt is less of an intrusion and instead akin to something rightfully returning to where it belongs. Your hands are tangled in his hair, and he relishes this feeling. This wholeness, this concept of being complete.

The inviting warmth of your pussy makes him want to cum right on the spot, but he can’t waste it. He’s spent years pining after you, missing you, and he wants you to feel like the time apart had been worth it.

“I missed you.” This time it’s him who makes the admittance. You tighten up at this confession, and it evokes a low groan from him, almost as if you had forced the sound to come from all the way down his throat.

“I know.” You gasp out, not able to speak clearly with how deep Suguru is hitting. Your living room is filled with the wet clicks and slaps of skin against skin, your juices coating his cock every time he pulls out.

The vein on the underside of his cock rubs against your walls, and the slight curve of it enables him to hit that gummy spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. You’ve never given much thought to cocks, but you know that Suguru’s is the prettiest of them all.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He grunts out, lips brushing against the soft skin of your neck before biting down; gentle enough not to draw blood, sharp enough to still leave a mark. You rock against him, hips moving in tandem with his thrusts, the steady hum of pleasure continuously building up in your lower belly. You are dizzy with pleasure; blanketed in it, being spoon fed it.

He doesn’t need you to say it to know it’s true, but you moan it out anyway, both to appease him and because there’s a sort of pride in knowing that you belong to him.

“I’m yours. I belong to you.” The words are separated, punctuated, by the little gasps for air you give out because with every word, he thrusts up even harder, hitting that special spot that will have you cumming all over him, making a mess.

“Yeah?” It comes out sounding like a shaky breath, and he’s close, you know it, you can feel it.

Calloused pads belonging to fingers much larger than yours are being pressed against your clit. You’re soaked, and the dryness of his hands combining with your overall slickness gives way to delicious friction that has you cumming with his name as a broken moan filtering through your swollen lips.

“That’s it, baby. Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He mutters, relishing in the way your walls tighten, spasm, clenching and unclenching sporadically as your body loses its energy and you press yourself up against his chest.

He follows after just a few more sloppy thrusts, the last one forcing himself as deep inside of you as possible. His cum is hot and thick, and it’s filling you to the brim. If he pulls out now, it’ll flood out of you, and the thought is both sad and hot at the same time. You want his cum inside of you, to serve as a reminder that this is real, that he’s real.

But seeing the physicality of him staking his claim, white seed dripping out of you, turns you on. Him, too, with the look of fascination and boyish wonder he has in his eyes as he stares at how the two of you are connected.

Before he can bother with confirming a round two, a sharp knock on the door has the two of you comically jumping a bit in surprise, both of you glancing at the door and then at each other.

“[Name], I know you’re in there!” You freeze.

Satoru.

Suguru wants to try to calm you down, whisper to you that everything’s going to be fine, but the anger laced in his best friend’s — former best friend’s — voice is enough to make him freeze up, too. Not just his icy tone, but what he says.

“I know you’re back, too, Suguru.”

#suguru geto x reader #suguru geto x you #geto suguru x reader #suguru geto smut #geto suguru smut #one shot #jjk x reader #jjk smut #angst #drabble #imagine

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ghouljams · 3 months

Note

Brain rotten by the idea of topping the cod men.

Personnaly I'm a super soft dom and heavily into body worship and praise... so just imagining doing that to this people have me vibrating with want.

Could you imagine forcing this guys to look you in the eyes when you praise them ? Being kissed everywhere, touched with so much care and want and yearning ? You can tell its almost too intimate and uncomfortable for them (I'm thinking ghost in particular here) to see so much devotion in your eyes. To have you making them acknowledge it. To force them to see your truth. That they are lovely. Wanted. Worshipped.

What about praise ? I'm so sure soap should love that. Love being told what's good. How. Specifically. Getting lost in the praised, in the poetry you slur into his neck after bitting him because kissing isn't enough anymore you want him so bad you want to consume him.

And the after care ??? Imagine holding gaz, making him feel safe. Loved. Imaging becoming a safe space. Somewhere so precious and kind he can just let go. Somewhere he feel seen and accepted and loved and respected and cared about.

Yeah. Hope my brainstorms make yours vibe with that idea.

Also I'm heavily into orgasm denial so that too lol

Love it when doms are in my inbox, yes welcome, thank you for blessing me with this. Allow me to continue dominating these men (plus Price and König) under the cut

Ghost absolutely melts for a soft dom, you cannot convince me otherwise. He'd be good at taking punishments, a hard dom would provide a very different release for him, but I am a service switch so I am always going to want to absolutely overstimulate this man. Make him look you in the eyes while you jerk him off, cooing all sorts of sweet praise, squeezing hard every time he looks away or closes his eyes. Making sure he knows he isn't allowed to move or speak unless asked to, and then just lavishing attention onto him. He'd be brain dead in minutes, absolutely drunk on affection.

If you wanted to go the hard dom route he can take a few smacks, it just makes his breathing harder, makes him inch a little closer to breaking and fucking you into the floor. It's a good method for testing his limits, he likes knowing that you can push him right to the edge and keep him there, likes knowing he has control over himself to such a degree. I think Ghost gets off on knowing he did something correctly, he likes making his partner come because that means he did something right, and doing something right is the same as doing something good in his mind. That's why you'll never catch Simon Riley being a brat, the man needs to stay in the lines you/he have drawn so that he feels like he's in control. He's a pleasure to use, and I personally love that for him.

Soap is a fucking brat. I mean, the man has absolute switch energy but what is a dom if not a brat that gets what they want? Soap is also a fucking DOG. He will pull on the leash but as soon as you have your hands on him he's whining and begging for more. Hit him with a "What a polite mutt you are when I do x" and he'll whine about wanting to be a brat "but it feels too good." You have to bite him because after a certain point he's sinking his teeth into you. He needs something to hold onto, something to ground on, and that means biting, lots of biting. You can't ask him to beg, that just brings the brat out, unless you want a reason to punish him.

I am firmly on the Soap is a masochist train. He loves it, smack him hard across the face and he'll purr for you. The flip side of this is that masochists are almost always sadists too, they love pain so why wouldn't they do that to you? Soap needs a firm hand, needs someone pushing his head down and stepping on his cock, he's thrilled, he's drooling. After care is a must with this one, he'll be the most docile you'll ever see him, he will ask you to cockwarm him.

Gaz. Ooooh I fucking adore Gaz, come here baby I just wanna kiss all over your face. All praise. All body worship. Overstimulate him and make sure he's firing blanks, if you let him come at all. Strikes me as the sort of sub that wants it to be drawn out. Ride him until he's begging then pull off, make him watch you play with yourself until you start fucking him again. He loves the denial aspect of it, loves knowing that you're getting off even if he isn't. He's the type of guy to rut against the bed while he's giving you oral, happy to come in his pants after your third orgasm. Gaz would absolutely benefit from a soft dom, creating that space where he can just let go and stop being for a while would be so wonderful for him.

He'd likely be into some lowkey public play. Nicknames said with a little too much deference, coming up and hugging you from behind just so no one can see how hard he is when you tell him "good job out there, Sergeant." Always touchy with you, always cuddled up to you when you're on the couch. Lay on top of him like a weighted blanket he loves it. Aftercare is always top notch because it's just more babying and taking care of Gaz. He'll drag you off for a shower or a bath and just doze with you while you clean up. Do not ask him any questions for at least an hour, the man is gone.

Price.... He'll let you think you're in charge as long as he thinks it's fun. You have to know his lines really well in order to avoid them. He won't dip into sub space or anything like that, but he understands the release that comes with domming and if that's what you need he'll do it. You know those people who are so submissive they're willing to dom if their partner asks them, that's Price but the opposite. He's dominant to a degree that he is willing to direct you through topping him because he knows you need it. You can fuck him, he's absolutely having a great time, but watch out. Praise works better than degradation for him, I think if you were ever to tip him towards being truly submissive you'd have to be jerking him off, whispering praise in his ear. He'd rest his head against your shoulder and shudder when you squeeze his cock.

You can get him most of the way there, but the man is hard wired to look after people. Miscalculate or degrade him too far and he'll flip the script. You'll be the one begging if you're not careful. It's a very sophisticated game you two play, but if you're having a bad day, you can take it out on him.

König is a lot like Price. He's hard wired to be alert, so slipping him into that soft fuzzy space is hard. The best, and I mean best, way to do it is to get him absolutely fuck-drunk. Make him lose his damn mind because it all feels too good, he will be mush. Brain fried. You just gotta get him there. Lots of overstimulation or lots and lots of edging. I think König is the king(lol) of edging. I have no reason to believe this, except I think he edges if he's going into the field... really ups his aggression and makes him think less about the atrocities he commits. He'll lay on the bed and edge himself while you kiss him and whisper praises to him. He will beg for you to fuck him, will beg to be inside you, will beg for you to give him the word so he can come. He's an animal, and you should treat him like one.

The problem is that he's unpredictable once he's actually inside you(if that's what you decide on). He might keep listening to you. He also might growl for you to shut up and force a hand over your mouth, or your face into the pillows so he can fuck you how he likes without listening to you try to dominate him. He's going to take what he wants, and the only thing he'll listen to at that point is a safe word. Another masochist... please hurt him, he's begging for blood. Dangerous because again... the masochism does bleed(haha) into sadism for him. He loves pain, you should love it too... He wants to hurt you, but no more than you deserve(or ask for). Watch the lines you push with him.

#simon ghost riley #cod x reader #x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #könig x reader #könig cod #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #gaz x reader #john price x reader #headcanons #cod headcanons #this is all filth #God I was mad as hell this helped than kyou

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 1 year

Text

One Call Away (M)

Part Seven of the Pathetic series

Tags: 20k words, dub con for safety reasons, Porn with Plot, frat boy!Jeonghan, college student!y/n, best friend!Jeongyeon, soft!dom to hard!dom Jeonghan, mean!Jeonghan (and y/n loves it), submissive!y/n, female!y/n (sorry), impact play, masochist!y/n, sadist!Jeonghan, lowkey the slow-burniest part, appearances from everyone's least favorite, side-character heaven

Summary:

After Jeonghan’s confession, y/n struggles to figure out how she feels

You didn’t end up sleeping. Not because you were uncomfortable but because you were fighting your thoughts all night. You wanted to be sure of how you felt before you did anything but at the same time all you wanted to do was lay on Jeonghan’s chest. Hear him breathing.

You wanted to know what it was like to be intimate with him in that kind of way. Something that you knew he wanted with you. You just weren’t sure if you really felt the same way or if your simple sexual attraction to him and the intense nature of your twos’ relationship made you think you wanted him in that way.

You didn’t want to just leave Jeonghan but when you heard the other boys moving around outside Jeonghan’s door you felt like it was better than waiting for him to wake up and for him to realize that you hadn’t slept at all that night.

You changed into a different set of clothes and wondered exactly how you would be able to sneak out. However, the minute you stepped into the hallway your plans were dashed. Seungcheol was leaning against the wall. He looked up at you from beneath his bangs, raising an eyebrow in your direction.

“Well?”

You pressed your lips together, and quietly closed the door behind you.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “How did you know I would be up?”

“I didn’t,” Seungcheol admitted, a smile flickering across his face as if you two were sharing some kind of secret. “Is Jeonghan still sleeping?”

You nodded.

“What did he tell you?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you,” you said. “It’s kind of… Personal.”

Seungcheol looked confused, and you could tell he wanted to prod more but after a few seconds of clear torment he seemed to let it go.

“Mingyu already knows you’re still here,” he said softly. “You’re not going to be able to get out easily.”

Your eyes fell to the ground, and you muttered a soft curse.

“Is there a window I can climb out of?”

It was a joke. Seungcheol laughed.

“Are you really going to leave Jeonghan without saying goodbye?”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” you said softly. “But… I have a lot of thinking to do. I can’t really…” You were saying too much. You didn’t think that Seungcheol knew how Jeonghan felt about you. “You should really talk to him yourself.”

“You have to stay for breakfast,” Seungcheol said with a shrug. “Everyone knows you’re here. You really going to risk hurting Mingyu’s feelings?”

It hadn’t occurred to you that leaving in the morning without a word would hurt more than just Jeonghan’s feelings, but now that Seungcheol mentioned it you knew he was right. God, you hated that he was right.

You could barely handle the idea of hurting Jeonghan’s feelings right now. He had been so vulnerable with you… You didn’t want him to never open up to someone ever again because of how you reacted in this situation. And you definitely didn’t want to hurt the feelings of thirteen men.

You quirked your head to the side, insinuating to Seungcheol that if he led you would follow. The moment that you stepped into the kitchen; half of the boys let out excited exclamations.

“Y/n is back!” Mingyu said excitedly. “Jeonghan has been such a dick without you around.”

You rolled your eyes at the sentiment, thinking it was odd that they were so excited to see you, when Seokmin added: “I don’t know what’s worse. Hearing you two go at it at night or having Jeonghan yell at us about the littlest things.”

“I think the latter is worse,” Jun said, a smile crossing his face. To his credit he looked genuinely surprised to see you. You supposed you hadn’t seen him at all last night. “Mingyu was over the moon at the fact you were going to be here.”

“I made porridge,” Mingyu said excitedly. He put a bowl in front of you. “Have you ever had it before?”

You laughed and shook your head. You picked up a spoon and as you went to try the food Mingyu sat down next to you, his eyes wide as he watched you.

You laughed aagain nd took a bite.

You let a dramatic pause fill the room, making sure to keep your face neutral. You could tell that it was driving him crazy to see what you were going to say.

After a minute, you smiled.

“Of course, it’s amazing.”

You wondered if this was what it was usually like for the boys of Alpha Mu. Did they get really attached to the partners one another had the way they seemed to have gotten attached to you? Even Seokmin who was clearly annoyed to have to deal with the sound of you and Jeonghan at night seemed to enjoy your company.

You wondered if any of them had stayed friends with partners after break ups.

Still, you tried not to think about it too much. You wanted to focus on less stressful things.

“There is sleeping beauty!” Minghao said, a smile crossing his lips. You looked over your shoulder to find Jeonghan standing there. His hair was messy, his eyes still a little red and puffy from sleeping. He looked annoyed, but then his eyes flickered to you and the annoyance dissipated.

Fuck, why did that just make you feel even more conflicted?

“Why do you always sleep so late?” Joshua chided. “You always make y/n come down alone.”

Jeonghan looked away from you and shrugged.

“She doesn’t mind. She’s always been good at waiting for me.”

He had said it before, but this time it felt different. You patted the spot next to you for Jeonghan to sit down.

“I do have to go soon,” you admitted. You didn’t say what you should. I waited because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. But I don’t know my feelings yet. “But how can I say no to a Mingyu breakfast?”

Despite the fact you didn’t say it out loud, you had a feeling that Jeonghan could hear your thoughts. His expression dropped a little, for just a second, but you noticed. A smile crossed his lips immediately after and if you didn’t know any better you would say that he was completely fine.

You looked at Seungcheol, who pressed his lips together tightly and glanced to the side. You got the gist. You turned your eyes back to Jeonghan.

“No one would say no to a Mingyu breakfast,” Jeonghan agreed.

Breakfast wasn’t awkward but it was frustrating. You shouldn’t want it, but you really wanted Jeonghan to touch you as if he hadn’t confessed his love to you and you hadn’t not given him an answer back.

You didn’t want to admit it out loud, but you loved the way that he always had his hands on you when you two were together. Before you had thought he was just touchy, but thinking back on it you were realizing that it was actually the way he had been showing you that all his attention was on you even when it seemed like it wasn’t.

You wanted to be mad that he had thought he needed to dangle other people in your face to get your attention but thinking about it now you really hadn’t ever given him attention. You had constantly tried to leave before he woke up, never texted him or called him, never visited him where you knew he lived and only came when there was a party to crash.

No wonder he had been so desperate.

“I really should get going,” you insisted, ignoring the protests from all the boys. You rolled your eyes. “I’ll be around.”

Were you just saying that to make the others feel better or did you actually mean it?

You glanced at Jeonghan giving him a smile and a nod. Jeonghan gave you back that same convincing smile that he had been giving out all morning. You avoided eye contact with Seungcheol and started to head home.

When you walked into your apartment, you were surprised to find Jun and Jeongyeon waiting for you in the kitchen. You blinked, looking from Jun to the shoes that he had left at the entrance. Your mouth fell open a little.

“How did you…?” Your head fell to the side a little bit, the corner of your mouth turning up in confusion. “How did you get here before me?”

Jun waved off your confusion.

“Not important. What happened with Jeonghan?” He asked. “I thought you two weren’t talking? And then I heard you two last night-”

“How could you not tell me?” Jeongyeon blurted, a mostly exaggerated flash of hurt crossing her face. “What made you decide to start talking to Jeonghan again?”

“Well…” You trailed off as you kicked your shoes off your feet. “You know how Seungcheol came to see me? He convinced me to go to the party last night in disguise so I could see for myself that Jeonghan wasn’t sleeping with other people.”

“And?” Jeongyeon prodded. Both her and Jun were for some reason sitting on your kitchen counter and they both patted the space in between them simultaneously. You rolled your eyes but started over there.

“Well, I kind of sabotaged the plan by talking to Jeonghan and he figured out it was me,” you admitted. As soon as you had hopped up on the counter next to them, Jeongyeon hopped down. She went over to the freezer and pulled out three pint-sized cartons of ice cream. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion.

“When did you…?”

“I bought these when you and Jeonghan first stopped talking,” Jeongyeon explained, handing a carton to both you and Jun along with some spoons. “I know you and Jeonghan have always been kind of emotionally detached but I wanted to prepare for the worst.”

You pressed your lips together.

That was the real problem with all of this. That right there was the real reason that this situation required so much thinking. You had been emotionally detached from Jeonghan. You had done such a good job putting Jeonghan in the Just Sex box that now you were having trouble putting him in any other box.

“Oh god, what did Jeonghan say to you?” Jeongyeon asked after you had been silent for a few moments.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Jun speculated. “They did have sex last night and they seemed fine at breakfast this morning.”

“Jeonghan loves me.”

Silence fell between the two. You could feel them staring at you and it only made your mind race even faster. You groaned and buried your face in your hands, leaving the cold cartoon of ice cream pressed between your thighs.

“Well, he didn’t say that but he said that,” you continued. “He told me that he’s liked me since freshmen year. That I’m too good for him. That he is so crazy about me he couldn’t deal with me not being the same level of crazy for him.”’

“No, he didn’t,” Jun said, but it wasn’t that he didn’t believe you. It was in pure astonishment.

“He said: ‘When I say that I crave you, I mean it in a way you will never fully understand’.”

Jeongyeon squealed a little next to you, reaching across your lap to hit Jun on his thigh.

“I knew it,” she said excitedly. “I called this! I knew that Jeonghan had fallen for you!”

You looked up, giving Jeongyeon a strained look. She let out a nervous laugh.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “But isn’t this a good thing?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted with a sigh. “Is it? I’m not in love with Jeonghan.”

“Maybe not,” Jeongyeon agreed. There was a long stretch of silence between the three of you. “But also… Maybe you are?”

Luckily it didn’t seem like you were the only one who thought that didn’t make sense.

“Huh?” Jun mumbled. Jeongyeon hummed, jumping off the counter to head over to the living room. You and Jun followed her in tow. Jeongyeon sat on the couch, Jun on the arm of the couch, and you on the floor.

“Like… You’re not in love with him. Of course not, because when boundaries are in front of you, you don’t cross them,” Jeongyeon started. As she spoke you took a spoonful of ice cream. To give Jeongyeon credit where it was due: She knew you the best out of anyone. How did she remember what your favorite ice cream flavor was? “But I mean… You did cross the boundary a little. Didn’t you?”

Maybe she didn’t know you as well as you thought.

“No, I didn’t-”

“That day you were telling me that Jeonghan was going to sleep with Chaedom and told you not to come over you went over, didn’t you?” She pressed. You fell silent. “Right. And why did you care so much anyways?”

“I didn’t care,” you mumbled. “It was just annoying… I don’t know- I really wanted him that day.”

“Gross,” Jun mumbled. You and Jeongyeon ignored him.

“But didn’t you wonder why?” Jeongyeon continued. “I mean, even after that you didn’t seem to want him as badly as you did then. Why did you want him so badly that day?”

Jeongyeon was raising some great questions, but before you could try to answer them, she was continuing.

“And don’t you think it’s weird that you do all these mundane things with him?” Jeongyeon asked. “Like you’ve had fuck buddies before. Small flings, whatever they didn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. Jeongyeon’s eyes widened a little and she gestured towards you as if she was trying to make you realize something.

“They didn’t mean anything,” Jeongyeon emphasized. “You didn’t wait for them to wake up or eat breakfast with them. You definitely didn’t end up shopping with them, or staying the night when you two weren’t actively sleeping together.”

“That’s-” Such a good point. “Just because they weren’t persistent like Jeonghan is.”

“Y/n, open your eyes,” Jeongyeon insisted. “You don’t do things you don’t want to do.”

You hadn’t really known Jeonghan for very long at this point, but Jeongyeon’s persistence made you fall silent regardless. She was right. Of course, she was right.

You had been so focused on not liking Jeonghan that you had been ignoring the obvious signs that you did like him. Maybe not love- How could you be in love with Jeonghan so quickly after all, but you did really care for him didn’t you?

If it had been one of your old flings you wouldn’t be so hesitant to break their heart. It would have been easy for you to brush them off and tell them you didn’t feel that way. But you cared about Jeonghan’s feelings.

Fuck, how had you gotten here?

Jeonghan had been frustrated because you weren’t crazy about him the way he was you but weren’t you a little? You had been so jealous of Chaedom, and the only reason that you were so nonchalant about him sleeping with other people was because he had always returned to you. There had been no doubt in your mind that you meant more to him than everyone else at some point. Even if you didn’t think it was love.

Normally that should have been a red flag. You could easily find a different fuck buddy, but Jeonghan had made you feel special even while he was just a fling. Isn’t that what made it so different with him?

“How did this happen?” You asked softly. You groaned and buried your face in your hands. “I mean I know he loves me but Yoon Jeonghan? What if… I don’t know what if he gets bored?”

“I mean, I’m hardly the expert,” Jun interjected. “But isn’t that a fear when getting into any relationship?”

“Which is why I am not looking for a relationship!” You replied. “Because I don’t want those fears. What if he gets bored? What if we break up? What if he still wants to be with other people?”

“He already said that he doesn’t want to date other people. Remember? That was what started all of this in the first place.”

You pursed your lips. Fuck.

“What are your qualms with really being with Jeonghan?” Jun asked. “Like, really?”

“I already said,” you replied. “What if he gets bored of me or what if we don’t work out or-”

“Not in general, of specifically being with Jeonghan,” Jun interrupted. “Like what specific things about Jeonghan worry you? Do you not think that he will be nice to you?”

“What?” You blurted. “Of course, he would be nice to me. Jeonghan is always nice to me.”

“So, you just don’t think he’s ready for a relationship,” Jeongyeon joined in.

“No,” you disagreed again. “I think that Jeonghan has been wanting a relationship for a lot longer than he realizes.”

You shifted a little.

“Do you two not get along emotionally?” Jun prodded.

“Jeonghan can read me really well,” you replied with a shake of your head. “I think that we get along fine.”

“Then what?” Jeongyeon pressed. “What is the grand reason that you are worried that Jeonghan and you would be bad together?”

“Me,” you blurted. Jeongyeon and Jun shared matching wide eyed expressions. “It’s me, okay?”

You looked down into your lap unsurely.

“Jeonghan’s been in love with me since freshmen year,” you said. “That is years of looking at me and filling in the gaps of my personality that he didn’t know and that means that a large part of what he likes about me is just what he hopes I’m like.”

“That’s not-”

“And if that’s not even true what is true is that Jeonghan knows for sure that he is ready to date me. That’s why he admitted he liked me. But yesterday if you had asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship, I would have said no.”

“You’re overthinking it.”

“It’s unfair of me to date him when I’m not ready for a relationship. The problem isn’t Jeonghan. It’s never been Jeonghan. The problem is me. I haven’t been in a relationship for longer than a few months ever. Even the very few people that have been nice to me…”

You trailed off, thinking.

“Hwanwoong… Gunhak…” You strained to think of more. “That’s it. Those are the only two people who have really liked me and maybe been willing to marry me and I got scared and I broke up with them.”

You groaned and fell forward into your hands.

“I can’t hurt Jeonghan guys. Who cares about the others? I can’t hurt Jeonghan.”

Jeongyeon and Jun were quiet for a little bit. In fact, it stretched on for so long that you forced yourself to look back up at them, your hands dragging down your cheeks in frustration.

“Well?” You blurted. “I just barred out my heart and you two aren’t going to say anything?”

Again, they were quiet for a little too long and you dropped your head back into your hands.

“Fuck.”

“It’s just…” Jeongyeon’s words dragged you up out of your hands. “You’ve never… I just… You always acted like you just really didn’t care about relationships. I didn’t realize…”

“Yeah.”

There was silence, before suddenly, Jun broke it.

“Y/n, you’re really stupid.”

“Jun,” Jeongyeon hissed, and you heard him audibly get hit. You looked up at the two in surprise.

“What? She is,” he insisted. “And you are too! You both are really stupid.”

He looked over at you, shoving his hand forward.

“Who cares if you don’t think you are ready for a relationship? No one goes into a relationship knowing for sure that they are going to marry the person they are dating. That’s the hope but not the fact,” he insisted bluntly. “And the fact that you even care about this is just proof that you do care about him.”

“That’s not-”

“You just don’t want to lose him!” Jun interrupted. “If you didn’t care about Jeonghan then this wouldn’t matter at all. You like having sex with him? Say you like him, and you can keep having sex. Who cares about breaking a few hearts on the way?”

“I’m not a monster, Jun,” you said slightly offended by what he was saying.

“I’m just saying you broke up with the others easy right? But you so desperately care about Jeonghan you don’t even want to tell him that you don’t like him.”

Jun leaned back on the couch.

“Maybe I don’t know anything,” he mumbled. “But that sounds like love to me.”

You pressed your lips together.

“That…” You groaned and dropped your head into your hands again. “I just… I really don’t want to hurt him.”

“Stop being stupid,” Jun said, this time reaching over and physically hitting you. “Jeonghan can handle being hurt. And you’re preparing for a storm that you don’t even know is coming. Just do what every other idiot on the planet does and date the guy you like.”

You knew Jun was right.

God, you couldn’t believe that you were getting genuinely good advice from Moon Junhui.

“Jeongyeon-” You looked over at her with a wide and frustrated expression. She had a mostly blank look on her face and she just shook her head.

“I can’t… I can’t say anything, he’s right,” she said in awe. “I mean… Just think about it. Jimin and I dived into a relationship even though I’m pretty sure neither of us really know where it’s going to go. But I mean… I’m not scared.”

“How can you not be scared?” You pressed.

“Because it’s Jimin,” Jeongyeon replied. “The scariest thing I did was admit that I have real feelings for a fuck buddy. Now we’re both in the same boat where we both like each other and we both want to stay together… That’s what matters. Not the possibility of a breakup.”

“Look, this is easy for both of you-” you insisted, but it made Jun hit you again.

“It’s easy for you too! Do you or do you not like Jeonghan?” Jun asked.

“No,” you said stubbornly.

“Right,” Jun replied sarcastically. “That’s why you are thinking about this so much. Just call him y/n.”

Before you could respond Jun walked over to you, digging your phone out of your pocket and shoving it into your hands.

“I can’t tell him that I like him over the phone,” you hissed back. “Okay, I relent. I like Jeonghan. I like his attention; I like his touch sexual or not. I… I want to be close to him. I want to see him every day. It’s thrilling being at a party where everyone wants him but I know at the end of the night he will be with me.”

You knew you didn’t have to say it.

“I just... I can’t tell him over the phone. I’ll go see him…” You trailed off. “But not today. Later. I have to think about what I’m going to say right?”

Was that just an excuse to avoid having to talk to Jeonghan? Yes, yes it was.

Because sure Jeonghan liked you, and sure you liked him, and sure you shouldn’t be scared that this wasn’t going to last but you were scared of it anyways and you didn’t have to think about it. Not yet. Not until you talked to him.

So… You just decided to push off talking to him.

And if it were any better, (your impending Psych degree said it wasn’t) you weren’t talking to anyone. Not Jeonghan, not Yeongtae, not Jeongyeon… Not until your phone started buzzing against your table while you were deep in your psych book.

You slid open the phone, wincing when your ear was hit with loud noises.

“Yeongtae?” You mumbled.

“Not Yeongtae. But calling on behalf of him.” There was silence for a little. “You’re y/n, his only friend right?”

You sighed, were people starting to know you for that reason?

“Yeah, that’s me. Yeongtae’s only friend.”

“He just threw up in a sink at a party. Can you come get him? He keeps saying that you’re the only one who would be willing to come get him.”

“He’s at a party on a Wednesday?”

The person on the other end of the phone, made a sound of offense.

“I’m also at a party on a Wednesday.” You two were quiet for a while. “Are you going to pick him up or not?”

You sighed and closed your textbook. What choice did you really have?

“Yeah, I’ll come get him.”

Your first thought upon getting to the party was that there were way too many people there for a Wednesday. Seriously, who went to a party on a Wednesday?

You wormed through the crowd, avoiding as much eye contact with people as you could.

“Y/n.”

You ignored the calls, immediately recognizing that whoever it was wasn’t Yeongtae.

But the ignoring was pointless.

“Y/n-” The boys voice came again. Louder. Whinier. You rolled your eyes and turned around in time for someone to collide into you. You both stumbled, making the boys head pop up out of your chest. He looked a little dizzy. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall into you.”

You frowned, squinting your eyes.

“Yeonjun?”

“Yeonjun!” He cheered loudly, throwing his hands in the air. The momentum splashed some of his beer out of the top of the cup in his hand and he jumped to the side to avoid it. You raised an eyebrow towards him. “Y/n, I’m so glad you’re here because I need to know how it went with Jeonghan.”

He took a swig of his drink and then his eyes widened.

“I’m so rude-” He thrust his cup forward. “Drink!”

You smiled at him.

“You know, I don’t want any but-” As you spoke you took the cup. “I’m going to take this away from you because I think you have had enough.”

A pout crossed Yeonjun’s lips, and he half-heartedly chased the drink. He gave up however once you had it pulled close to you.

“Why are you here if not to drink?” He asked.

“Looking for Yeongtae,” you replied. Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrowed deeply.

“Yeongtae?”

You raised your hand to Yeongtae’s height.

“This tall… Uh, mullet? I think. Long face?”

Yeonjun looked at you completely lost, and you sighed waving your hands in the air dismissively.

“Yeah, I just, I have to pick him up,” you mumbled. “Unfortunately, he’s my responsibility. He has no friends.”

“If he has no friends, how did he get invited to this party?” Yeonjun asked, with a genuinely confused expression on his face. You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.

“You know what? Great question,” you agreed. “I really do have to look for Yeongtae. Are you…” You trailed off and gestured to the party around you. “Do you have anyone to get your home?”

“I have friends,” Yeonjun said cryptically. You frowned, but before you could say more Yeonjun was disappearing into the crowd of people.

Weird.

You turned and just as you did you caught a glimpse of the absolute last person that you wanted to see at this party.

Fuck, Yunjun.

You spun around on your heel, instantly desperate to disappear into the crowd, but you knew that Yunjun had seen you.

Yeongtae would be fine without you right? Maybe you could come get him from this place in the morning. Surely Yunjun wouldn’t be here at 8am. Maybe-

“Y/n-”

You resisted the urge to hit yourself in the face. Instead, you just pressed both of your eyes tightly shut and completely froze, hoping that Yunjun would go away. A hand landed on your shoulder.

You forced a smile across your lips, and turned around, shrugging the hand off of you.

“Yunjun,” you said. “How lucky am I to see you again so soon?”

Your enthusiasm wasn’t quite reaching your voice and Yunjun seemed to notice it. He reached forward, fisting his fingers into your shirt and pulled you sharply forward. Your eyes widened.

“Woah-”

Yunjun’s lips quirked up into a smile once you were close to him. His eyes narrowed a little.

“You haven’t been drinking,” he observed. “There’s the y/n that I know.”

You forced your lips into a larger smile and pressed your hands to Yunjun’s shoulders pushing him away with as much strength as you could muster.

“We aren’t doing this,” you said with a laugh. “Like. Really. We aren’t doing this.”

You weren’t sure exactly what it was about this. Was it the fact that it was a party on a Wednesday? Was it the fact that you were there to pick up Yeongtae? Or maybe it was the fact that you knew that someone liked you. The fact that you knew that if you wanted you could be with Jeonghan right now. Sitting on the Alpha Mu living room floor fucking around with legos while Jun begged Minghao for a house cat.

You wanted that. You really, really, wanted that because if that was your life right now you wouldn’t care about your stupid ex at a party. You wouldn’t have been so stressed this weekend and to top it all of you wouldn’t be here at this party picking up Yeongtae alone.

So, you figured, in the end it was that. Your own stupidity that was actually pushing you to speak to Yunjun like this. You were so fucking mad at yourself and you had no one to take it out on because even stupid Yeongtae just meant the best.

But Yunjun?

You had been waiting for ages to tear into him.

And if you were too stupid to simply have a conversation with Jeonghan, you were certainly too stupid to start an argument with Yunjun at a party.

Yunjun’s eyebrows furrowed, the corner of his lips dropping.

“What?”

“I’m not even supposed to be at this party,” you replied. “And you haven’t talked to me in months. Not really. Why would I willingly walk into this?”

Yunjun looked a bit confused. Probably because he was starting to realize that this wasn’t some bit that you were playing as foreplay.

“You can’t keep pretending like you don’t want me,” Yunjun said, but he sounded uncertain. You narrowed your eyebrows at him.

“I don’t want you,” you insisted. “I am not yours anymore and I was barely yours when I was.”

You saw a flicker of irritation go across Yunjun’s face and you knew that you were poking a bear. Honestly, you didn’t really care.

“I can’t really figure out what was worse about you actually. Your ego or the fact that you never made me come even once.”

“Y/n, you better watch your mouth-”

“Or what Yunjun? What are you going to do?” You asked. “What could you possibly do to me in a room full of people?”

You were very aware that you were letting your anger towards your unsure feelings towards Jeonghan get to you and you were very aware that you didn’t really care. But you also were aware of the fact that you would need a quick way out of this situation. You slid your phone out of your pocket, glancing at the screen as you pulled up the contact that you needed.

“Y/n, if you’re trying to play a brat right now you aren’t doing it well,” Yunjun warned.

“Do I look like I’m playing a brat?” You asked him. “Just because someone is finally telling you that you suck doesn’t mean that I’m playing a brat.”

You glanced back down at your phone; the call being picked up practically immediately.

“Y/n you have exactly two seconds to apologize to me,” Yunjun said, and his voice was low. Scary. “Or I’m going to show you exactly what I will do to you in a room full of people who- For your information are not looking at you and are so drunk they won’t notice anything.”

Wordlessly you shoved your phone against Yunjun’s ear, forcing it into his hands. At first Yunjun looked confused, but he took the phone, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Hello?”

He was silent for a moment.

“This is Yunjun, who the fuck is this?” There was some silence. “No.” More silence. More frustration from Yunjun. “It’s not my fault-” He stopped and sighed heavily. “Then why aren’t you here?”

Whatever was said next seemed to do the trick. Yunjun gave you a frustrated look.

“I’m sorry.”

His words were quiet but before you said that he rolled his eyes moving your phone slightly away from his ear.

“I said I’m sorry,” he said louder. He turned his head so that it was clear he was talking to the phone again. “Is that better?”

After a few more moments of silence, he looked at you, pushing your phone back into your hands.

“You…” He looked like he wanted to say more but he didn’t. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Not fucking worth it.”

And then he walked away. You pressed your lips tightly together and glanced down at your phone for a few seconds before bringing the screen to your face. Despite the roar of the party, you could hear the breathing on the other end of the phone very clearly.

“Thank you.”

Your voice was a bit quiet, and you were practically withholding breathing so that you wouldn’t miss the next thing that was said.

“You’re welcome.”

More wasn’t said.

“I…” You were hesitant. “I’m not drunk I just… I was a little angry and I needed some back up.” There was another small stretch of silence. “I don’t usually go to parties on Wednesday’s but I-”

“You don’t have to explain to me why you’re at a party on a Wednesday. And if you wanted to get drunk at a party you know I wouldn’t judge you for that.”

“I know Jeonghan,” you said, and you could hear the desperation in your voice as you spoke. “I just… I want you to know that I really don’t mean to…” Fuck. “I really want to talk to you about it I just…”

“It’s okay,” he replied, but his voice was a little strained. “Take all the time you need.”

Now was a good time for you to hang up the phone.

“Jeonghan can you…” Don’t ask. “Can you pick me up?”

There was shuffling on Jeonghan’s end as soon as the words left your mouth.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

Well, that gave you ten minutes to find Yeongtae.

When Jeonghan pulled up to the house you were sitting directly next to a very drunk Yeongtae who you had found in the kitchen with his head dunked in the sink. Jeonghan rolled down the passenger seat window and took one glance at you two before sighing.

“Come on.”

You wrapped your fingers around Yeongtae’s biceps and dragged him up with you, also supporting him by his elbow. He stumbled next to you, and you struggled to keep him upright.

“Yeongtae,” you urged softly. He glanced up at you. “I know that you like to make my life miserable, but I still haven’t talked to Jeonghan and he is here to pick me… Us up okay? So don’t say anything stupid.”

“It’s not my fault if I say something,” Yeongtae replied, his words comically slurred. “You should have already talked to him. It’s been weeks.”

“It’s been like four days,” you argued back. “Now I’m serious. Be cool.”

You dragged Yeongtae over to Jeonghan’s car, and pulled open the back seat, pushing him in. Yeongtae groaned when his face hit the car seat and you scooted in next to him. You closed the door behind you and tried to wrestle Yeongtae upright in the seat beside you. Jeonghan was quiet as you situated Yeongtae in the seat, clicking the seatbelt across his chest.

Yeongtae’s head drifted to the side and his head bumped against the car window. He groaned.

“I’m sorry to ask,” you said, leaning forward. “I just- Well, I was studying and Yeongtae needed someone to pick him up.”

Jeonghan glanced over at you over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” he said softly. You placed your hand on the center console of the car, which gave Jeonghan the opportunity to take your hand in his. He pulled you forward a little bit by your hand and a small smile flickered across his lips.

“No matter what our relationship becomes, no matter what you say to me, you can always call me if you need anything,” he said softly. “I really don’t want you to think that you ever need to apologize to me for anything.”

You were quiet for a little bit, looking at Jeonghan’s hand in yours.

“You told me that you’ve liked me since freshmen year and I just… Left.”

“At least you stayed for breakfast,” he replied. You couldn’t help the way that it caused a smile tug at the corner of your lips. Still though, you felt bad. “Where am I taking you and your dashing secret boyfriend?”

He laughed and gave your hand a squeeze. You ignored the secret boyfriend comment. He deserved to take jabs at your relationship with Yeongtae given the current circumstance.

“Can you take me to my place?” You asked him softly. “Yeongtae doesn’t have a roommate and I hate his place.”

Jeonghan’s hand left yours and he shifted the cars’ gear.

“Put your seat belt on,” he said. You nodded and leaned back into the seat, putting on your seat belt as you were told.

“I wasn’t going to come out,” you repeated softly. Even though Jeonghan told you that you didn’t have to explain you felt like you needed to. “It’s just that Yeongtae’s been trying so hard to make friends that he’s been going out a lot and, you know, he has no friends so when he got super drunk today, they called me. And I was just going to walk him home but-”

“You ran into Yunjun,” Jeonghan filled in. You nodded, even though Jeonghan couldn’t see you.

“I just didn’t have anyone else to call,” you said, but that wasn’t exactly true. You didn’t know what to say to Jeonghan about his confession. But you knew what you wanted to say.

… No you didn’t. You thought you knew what you wanted to say. You had the idea of what you wanted to say. You just didn’t know how to say it yet. All you knew was that you did have other people you could have called. You just chose to call Jeonghan because you wanted an excuse to see him.

That wasn’t fair. Jeonghan deserved a real response.

“Jeonghan,” you said softly. “I have a question that I shouldn’t really ask you.”

He glanced at you from in the rearview mirror.

“Ask it,” he said softly. You glanced away from him and looked at Yeongtae beside you. His face was red, and still pressed up against the window. He was sweating a little. You reached over, brushing his hair out of his face and pressing the back of your hand to his forehead so that you could feel the heat through your hand.

“Have you ever wanted a real relationship before?”

He was quiet for a second.

“No,” he replied. You glanced at the back of his head. “The only person who has ever made me want something serious is you.”

The car went over a pothole, and it made Yeongtae hit his head on the window. He groaned and tipped forward. You caught him with a hand to his chest.

“Woah.”

“Why did you let me drink so much?” Yeongtae groaned out. “I just wanted to impress Chaeryeong from Bio.”

You patted his back.

“For one, I had no control over how much you drank,” you commented. Yeongtae let out another groan, letting his head tip into your chest. You sighed and patted his head. “I’m sure Chaeryeong was really impressed when she saw you throwing up in the sink.”

You heard Jeonghan let out a small, amused huff from the front seat and you glanced up at him.

“Y/n, I feel so miserable,” Yeongtae whined, drawing your eyes back down to him.

“That’s your own fault, you idiot.”

You didn’t live very far away from the party and after only a few more minutes of bickering between you and Yeongtae Jeonghan was putting the car in park at the curb of your place. You unbuckled yourself and got out. You walked around to Yeongtae’s side of the car and opened the door, unbuckling him too. You ducked your head under Yeongtae’s arm, pulling him out of the car.

“Tell Jeonghan thank you,” you murmured.

“Thank you Jeonghan,” Yeongtae pressed out. “I know you hate me, but I really think that we are like friends you know?”

Jeonghan looked back at you two and you could tell from his expression that he didn’t agree. His eyes flickered up to you. You shot him a just play along with it expression and he sighed.

“Sure,” he replied tightly. “Friends.”

You mouthed thank you back at him and pulled Yeongtae out of the car, kicking the door shut with the back of your foot. You struggled to get Yeongtae over to the front door and once you got there you leaned Yeongtae against the wall so that you could get your keys out.

“Y/n.”

You look back over your shoulder at Jeonghan who had his window rolled down.

“Come here.”

You glanced at Yeongtae who looked… Stable, at the very least and then walked back over to Jeonghan’s car. You hid your hands behind your back.

“Yeah?”

Jeonghan looked frustrated by your distance, but he didn’t voice it.

“I just want you to know that I meant everything I said back then, and I meant everything I said tonight. It’s okay if you never give me an answer. I don’t care, I really don’t. What I really care about is you.”

He let his head fall to the side.

“I was so glad that you called me tonight. Even if it doesn’t mean you like me back… You remember what I said about… Reassurance?” he asked softly. You nodded. “You trust me. Even if you don’t like me the way I like you. You trust me. That’s all I care about.”

You felt your heart thudding in your chest.

“Jeonghan I-”

“Yeongtae is falling.”

Your eyes widened and you rushed back over to Yeongtae who was in fact sliding down the wall. You caught him by his bicep and pulled him back up to his feet. When you turned around Jeonghan’s lips were pressed into a small smile.

“I’m serious,” he called over to you. “You never have to respond to my confession if you don’t want to. I just want you in my life. That’s all.”

Before you could reply, Jeonghan raised a hand in Yeongtae’s direction.

“Hope you’re okay tomorrow Yeongtae.”

Yeongtae looked up, the biggest smile spreading across his lips.

“Goodbye best friend!” He exclaimed loudly. Jeonghan’s expression morphed into a slightly strained one and then before you could say anything else to him Jeonghan was driving away. You looked at the spot his car had been, completely forgetting about your plans to get back upstairs for a moment.

Then, you were very aware of the fact that Yeongtae was quite loudly sobbing on you.

“How long are you going to make Jeonghan wait?” Yeongtae cried out, and you looked down at him to see very real tears running down his face. “He’s my best friend and I love him so much.”

You gaped at the crying boy.

“Everyone with two eyes… No anyone with even one eye- no eyes! knows that you love Jeonghan. Just tell him already. Date him, he’s the perfect guy, and then finally we’ll be able to hang out without you because he won’t have to pretend to hate me.”

You fought the urge to tell Yeongtae that Jeonghan hadn’t been pretending when he said he hated him before and you immensely regretted the fact that you let Yeongtae be so involved with your life. You had called him after talking to Jun and Jeongyeon to tell him everything only for him to tell you the same things that they were. Annoying.

“We better get you inside,” was all you said.

“So… It’s Friday.”

You looked up at Yeongtae, your eyebrows furrowing at him.

“Yep,” you agreed. You were trying to read.

“It’s been a week since Jeonghan confessed to you and you haven’t even seen him since.”

“That’s not true,” you denied with a sigh. “We saw him Wednesday.”

Yeongtae’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“We did…?” He struggled to recall the memory for a moment before shaking his head. “Not the point- “Look, y/n you have to talk to him. You can’t keep avoiding him.”

You actually could keep avoiding him. In fact, nothing but pure decency was stopping you from doing so.

But, regardless, you knew what Yeongtae meant. You still didn’t give Yeongtae an answer. You looked back down at your book, willing Yeongtae and his common sense to go away.

“I heard he’s going to be at a non-Alpha Mu party tonight,” Yeongtae continued, completing ignoring your silent wishes. “You should really go.”

“He probably doesn’t even want me there,” you said, but you both knew that wasn’t true. “He hates it when I just come see him at parties.”

“Then start seeing him outside of parties,” Yeongtae said with a roll of his eyes. “But you can’t keep avoiding him. Avoidance hurts more than anything else.”

You knew he was right. You hated that he was right. You were the pysch major. You were the one that was supposed to know, be right, and act upon these things. But instead, you were being the wildly unhealthy one.

“Should you be going to parties right now?” You asked him, trying to divert the attention away from yourself. “You don’t seem to have good alcohol tolerance.”

Yeongtae feigned offense, but he didn’t really fall for your diversion.

“I’m trying to get a social circle,” Yeongtae replied, a pout crossing his lips. “You met me at a party. You met Jeonghan at a party. I’m trying to meet my Jeonghan at a party.”

You stared at him.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m not…” You felt frustrated. “I’m trying to read Yeongtae.”

Yeongtae snatched the book out of your hands and squinted at it.

“Is this a romance?” He asked you. “You are living a romance. Why are you reading about one instead of living yours?”

You snatched the book back from Yeongtae and hit him hard on the shoulder with it. He let out a very loud and audible grunt.

“Y/n!” He protested. “I really don’t know why Jeonghan likes you you’re so mean.”

There was a pout on his lips, and you ignored it. You opened your book back up, thumbing through the pages to try and get back to where you were. Before you could get far, however, the book was being taken away from you again.

“You are not sitting in this apartment another night avoiding your feelings like an idiot,” Yeongtae insisted. He opened up your window and before you could stop him he threw your book out of the window.

“Yeongtae what the-”

You rushed over to the window, just in time to see the book audibly hit the ground.

“You can’t just-”

Yeongtae grabbed you by your wrist and he tugged you away from the window.

“We’re going,” he said pointedly.

“He might not even be there!” You protested loudly.

“He’s going to be there,” Yeongtae argued.

“He never goes to non-Alpha Mu parties,” you argued back.

“They are all going to be there.”

“No, they aren’t.”

Yeongtae pulled out his phone, and pointedly pulled up a contact that said Seungcheol. He put the phone on speaker and you two stood there, staring at each other as the phone rang and rang and-

“Your call can not to be completed as dialed, Choi-”

Yeongtae’s face dusted pink and he ended the line before immediately calling again. The phone rang and rang and-

“Your call can not-“

Yeongtae’s face reddened and he immediately called again. This time the call rang three more times before finally someone picked up.

“Hello…? Who-”

“Seungcheol!” Yeongtae said quickly. “Hey, it’s Yeongtae and-”

“Yeongtae?” You could hear Seungcheol’s confusion. “How did you get my phone number?”

Yeongtae laughed, clearly trying to save face in front of you.

“We’re friends!”

“We’re not friends,” Seungcheol protested. You huffed out a laugh. Apparently a mistake. “Is that… Is y/n with you?”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head quickly trying to tell Yeongtae not to tell Seungcheol you were there.

“Yes it is!” Yeongtae replied. “Say hi y/n.” You shut your eyes in frustration and silence strung out between the three of you. Silence that went on for a full minute before you finally broke it.

“Hi Cheol,” you mumbled reluctantly. You both heard some whispering on the other end of the phone.

“What are you two… Shut up, shut up they’re going to hang up- What are you two calling about?”

“I’m trying to force y/n to the party,” Yeongtae replied. “But she doesn’t believe that you are all even going to be there.”

More talking over the phone, it was somewhat muffled but you could make out what was being said.

“This is good, we want her at the party.”

“Would Jeonghan want her to see him like this?”

“It doesn’t matter- they need to-“

You could hear the audible sound of Seungcheol leaving whatever room he was in.

“Yeongtae’s right, we’re actually... Jeonghan’s already at the party.”

Seungcheol fell silent, but Yeongtae was taking his words in stride. He had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, and you could practically hear him saying I told you so.

You snatched Yeongtae’s phone from him and covered the speaker on it.

“I am not going to the party. This is humiliating,” you hissed. “It’s bad enough people are starting to associate you and me as friends-”

“We are friends, and I know that you aren’t really embarrassed of me,” Yeongtae argued back. He was right, you were friends, and you weren’t embarrassed of him, but the slightly offended expression on his face was too funny for you not to keep the joke going.

“What would Jeonghan do if he found out that I only came to the party because you dragged me there.”

“He doesn’t care.” Seungcheol’s voice came muffled from the phone. “Y/n, he just wants to hear from you.”

Everyone on the phone call knew that wasn’t true. He definitely would care if Yeongtae was the one that finally got you to come to the party. And honestly, you didn’t blame him. If Jeonghan was doing the same thing you were doing with Yeongtae with Chaedom…? You would be mad too.

Of course, there was one stark difference between Chaedom and Yeongtae and that was that Yeongtae genuinely didn’t want to fuck you, but Chaedom definitely did want to fuck Jeonghan.

“Y/n.”

You looked up from the phone to find that Yeongtae was looking at you. His expression was more serious than you had ever seen it before. Every single trace of humor gone from his face despite having been there moments ago.

“You can’t stop avoiding him. You’re going to regret it. You know you’re going to regret it. You have to go see him.”

Again silence strung out between the three of you. You repressed the urge to sigh and nodded once.

“Okay, yeah.” You looked down at Yeongtae’s phone as if you could look at Seungcheol. “Can you text Yeongtae the details? We can be there soon.”

You could see the small smile that crossed Seungcheol’s face even though you couldn’t see him.

“Okay, see you two soon.”

The line disconnected and you shot Yeongtae an annoyed glare.

“I really didn’t want to go to a party this week,” you mumbled. Yeongtae shot you a smile.

“Guess you should’ve put that psych degree to work earlier then.”

When you and Yeongtae got to the party, you did the obvious thing and immediately abandoned him at the door. You didn’t think that he was expecting you to hang out with him longer but if he was than it didn’t matter at all because you were gone so fast that he couldn’t stop you even if he wanted to.

After all, if you were going to be forced to a non-Alpha Mu party because you needed to talk to Jeonghan you weren’t going to put off talking to Jeonghan. The longer that you avoided talking to Jeonghan while at a party was really just… The longer you had to be at a party.

Besides, you missed Jeonghan.

Did you deserve to miss him after you had ignored him for so long? Not really. But you missed him regardless.

You didn’t spot Jeonghan, not first. But you did spot someone from Alpha Mu pretty fast.

“Hey,” you said, waving down Soonyoung. He turned to you, his lips turning up into a huge smile.

“Y/n!” He said excitedly. He grabbed onto the shoulders of the boy next to him. “Woo! It’s y/n!”

Wonwoo sent a tired smile your way.

“It’s good you’re here,” he said. “I thought you and Jeonghan had made up?”

“Uh,” you weren’t really sure what to say. “It’s complicated.”

It wasn’t really.

“Where’s Jeonghan?” You asked, ignoring the slightly dazed expression that was now on Soonyoung’s face. He turned his attention and jumped excitedly, grabbing someone else beside him.

“Y/n’s here!” He exclaimed again, laughing loudly. You couldn’t help the chuckle that ran through you, and the tired smile on Wonwoo’s face deepened.

“Jeonghan is… Unfortunately, fighting for his life against Chaedom,” Wonwoo said. You felt a pang run through your body at her name, and you tried and failed to keep your reaction hidden from Wonwoo.

He rolled his eyes.

“You two are ridiculous,” he mumbled, and you really almost didn’t hear it over the roar of the party. Wonwoo pointed through the crowd, towards the stairs. You tried to ignore the heaviness in your chest and instead focused on worming through the crowd. Part of you had wished that Wonwoo had taken you to Jeonghan himself, but those thoughts dissipated when you spotted Jeonghan and Chaedom.

Jeonghan had a red solo cup in hand, uncharacteristic, and Chaedom draped over his side. To his credit, he didn’t look like he particularly wanted her there.

You made your way over to them, clearing your throat when you were close enough that you thought they could hear. Both of them looked up at the sound, whatever secret conversation they were having seeming to die.

Jeonghan’s lips quirked up in a tired smile, while Chaedom just rolled her eyes, and rolled herself onto Jeonghan’s body.

“Hannie,” she purred. “Why are we still down here? Let’s go to a room, huh?”

You fought the urge to tear her off of Jeonghan yourself and it was genuinely taking all of your willpower to not do so.

“Y/n.” As Jeonghan spoke he pushed at Chaedom’s face, his cup falling to the ground and splashing alcohol all over their feet. Chaedom squealed pulling away from him, which was something that he took in stride.

He stumbled over to you, dropping his entire body weight onto you. You grunted as you tried to catch him, stumbling as well. Luckily, you were able to steady the two of you. Jeonghan swung his face to meet yours, a smile crossing his lips.

“Why are you here?” He asked you. You could smell the alcohol on his lips, and you frowned. You pulled away from him, your thumb going to his bottom lip. You pulled his lip down your eyebrows furrowing as the alcohol scent grew stronger.

“Were you drinking?” You asked. He whined, quiet loudly honestly, and his head fell into the crook of your neck.

“No.”

“You’re lying,” you bit back. You pushed Jeonghan’s head back, giving him an annoyed look. “I thought you were done lying to me.”

“I couldn’t help it,” Jeonghan admitted. “I can tell you’re mad at me. I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

“I get mad when you lie to me,” you replied, pointedly.

“You can’t get mad at him for drinking.”

You sent a glare towards the offending girl which only resulted in Chaedom placing her hands on Jeonghan’s back. She patted Jeonghan, her fingers curling in the fabric of Jeonghan’s shirt. She tugged on him.

“I wouldn’t be mad at you for drinking, Jeonghan.”

You rolled your eyes, tugging him away from her.

“Chaedom, you’re about to make me mad,” you snapped. “I think that if Jeonghan wanted to spend time with you he would have done so already.”

Jeonghan didn’t seem to care about the conversation that you two were having. Instead, he tightened his grip around you.

“Y/n,” he mumbled into your skin. You felt a shiver run through your body as the words vibrated over you. You pushed Jeonghan back again by his forehead.

“Jeonghan,” you replied, an eyebrow raising in his direction. “It isn’t like you to get drunk.”

His lips were stretched down into a frown, and it was in this light that you could see how red his cheeks were.

“It’s been a week, y/n,” he mumbled. “I’ve been waiting for you for a week.” He thought back over what he said and sighed. “Two days since I’ve seen you… A week since I confessed… Wednesday doesn’t really count.”

Pain panged through your heart at Jeonghan’s words, and you blinked in surprise. You opened your mouth to say something to him. Apologize maybe… Something.

Instead, before you could, Jeonghan tipped his head back into the nap of your neck.

“You know, I don’t even care if you like me back,” Jeonghan mumbled. “Just need you to stop doing this to me. Stop leaving me.”

The party around you felt quiet in this moment.

“I think I should get you home,” you mumbled softly. Jeonghan protested against you.

“No, we’re at a party,” he protested. “Chan is going to be so mad if I leave. He wanted me to come here.”

“I think Chan will understand if you leave,” you said back. “I won’t take you back home, okay? I’ll bring you over to my place.”

Getting Jeonghan back to your place was a hassle, mostly in that no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t shake Chaedom off of your tail.

“You can’t get him back alone.” She pointed out. You tried to turn the attention away from her and get one of the boys to help you but as you were trying to get their attention Chaedom was dragging Jeonghan out of the party.

You cursed and rushed out to them.

“Chaedom.”

Her smile was sickeningly sweet.

“I’m just trying to help,” she insisted. “Where are we going?”

She cooed against Jeonghan’s ear.

“Maybe he would be happier back at my place.”

You glared at her.

“My apartment is a five minutes’ walk from here.”

You ducked yourself under one of Jeonghan’s arms. You sort of wished he wasn’t drunk solely for the fact that currently he was completely useless.

You weren’t sure exactly how much he had to drink that night but honestly it seemed like the only thing he could do was walk forward at your prodding. He wasn’t in any way interested in Chaedom, but just her holding Jeonghan despite the fact that she was helping was making you angry.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” You mumbled as the three of you got to your front door. She shook her head.

“I’m still waiting for Jeonghan to remember that I’m here,” she replied softly. She reached around, tapping Jeonghan’s cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want to come over to my place baby?”

That tightness coiled in your chest, and you slapped her hand away from his face.

“Chaedom,” you warned. “He’s not your fucking baby.”

Chaedom rolled her eyes at your words, but readjusted her grip on Jeonghan again so that she was just supporting him. Jeonghan however, seemed to think that now was the right time to pipe into the conversation.

“Shouldn’t curse,” he chided you softly. “’s bad.”

You pressed your lips together, your eyes briefly fluttering shut because what the fuck. After a second however your attention was back on your front door. You pushed the door open, wide enough for Jeonghan (and subsequently Chaedom) to come inside.

Once inside, Jeonghan was able to unwrap himself from Chaedom’s grasp. He stumbled into your living room, and then glanced over at you from his shoulder.

“Remember the last time we were here?” He asked, his voice high and teasing.

“Jeonghan-”

“You literally crawled.” He shook his head in disbelief and looked over at Chaedom. “She’s literally so good for me. Does whatever I want her to.”

His words were a bit slurred, but unfortunately Chaedom could hear him just fine. Her lips pressed into a firm line.

“I could be good for you,” she protested. Jeonghan hummed, and suddenly dropped to the ground. Both you and Chaedom darted forward but before either of you could reach him, he was steadying himself so that he was sitting on the floor.

“You’re not good for me,” he denied, peering at Chaedom. “You don’t listen very well.”

“Jeonghan, get off the floor,” you chided with a sigh. You closed the distance between you two and pulled at his forearm. He refused to budge.

“I don’t want to,” he insisted.

“You sound like a baby,” you said bluntly. He pulled his arm out of your grasp and wrapped his arms over his chest.

“You should do something with me,” he insisted. “We could watch a movie, and I could fuck you during the climax.”

You shot Jeonghan a glare.

“Would you fuck me if I was drunk?” You asked him. He pressed his lips together in annoyance, but that was answer enough. “Then I’m not fucking you while you’re drunk.”

“I would let you fuck me while you were drunk,” Chaedom piped up unhelpfully.

“Chaedom-”

Before you could finish telling her off, Jeonghan’s fingers wrapped around your hand and he suddenly tugged you down. You let him bend your body forward, surprised by the sudden contact. Once he had you so that your face was near his he placed both of his hands on your cheeks, squeezing your face in his hands.

“Y/n, I just missed you,” he said, and there was a pathetic pout spread over his lips. Part of you wanted to blame the alcohol entirely on the behavior, but deep down you knew you couldn’t really. Jeonghan would probably talk to you like this either way. “I just really fucking missed you.”

It was probably just because Chaedom was here- No it was definitely because Chaedom was here, but you felt irritation shoot through you at his words.

“You shouldn’t curse,” you replied, sending his own words back at him. “It’s bad.”

That pout deepened on his lips for a moment and you felt bad for about two seconds.

“I don’t know why she is treating you like a baby,” Chaedom said. She walked up to the two of you and crouched down in front of Jeonghan. Jeonghan glanced at her. Briefly. But it bothered you. You pulled out of Jeonghan’s hands.

You willed yourself to not be so jealous of their interactions. It was really stupid to be upset when Jeonghan was practically giving Chaedom no attention at all.

“You need water,” you murmured. You walked into your kitchen, screaming in your head. “Chaedom would you like some too?”

“That would be nice yeah.”

You fought yourself from mocking her. You started to grab water from your fridge for the two and as you did you could hear Jeonghan and Chaedom talking and shuffling around. You forced yourself to focus on your fridge. Begging yourself not to turn around because it would just make you upset.

“Han-”

Something collided into your back jostling your body forward a little. You caught yourself on the door of the fridge, turning over your shoulder when you realized it was just Jeonghan. He wrapped his arms around your body and groaned into your back.

“Y/n, I don’t want water.”

You shimmied around in Jeognhan’s arms so that you were facing him. You buried your fingers into his hair and pulled his head up. He still had a dumb pout on his face, and it just made your heart skip a beat in your chest.

God, he was so cute.

“I didn’t ask if you wanted water,” you replied pointedly. You blindly reached into your fridge and luckily, grabbed a water bottle. You pulled it out of the fridge and took the lid off the bottle. You pressed it to his lips. “Drink.”

Jeonghan turned away from the bottle.

“No,” he argued back. “Kiss me.”

“You taste like alcohol,” you replied. “Drink the water, and maybe I’ll kiss you.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed at you in frustration.

“But-”

You pushed the bottle back in front of his lips.

“Maybe,” you reasserted.

Jeonghan sighed and took the bottle out of your hands. When he lowered the bottle back down, half of the water was gone. A smile crossed his lips.

“A kiss?”

“I thought you said you didn’t care if I liked you,” you said softly. Jeonghan pulled himself closer to you, his face coming within inches of yours.

“I lied,” Jeonghan reasserted. He pressed closer to you, so that your lips brushed his. A smile crossed his lips and his eyes darted down. How could you say no to that?

You pressed your lips to his, something that Jeonghan immediately took control of. His hands raised to your face just so that he could deepen the kiss, but you didn’t let that last for too long. You pulled away from him, ignoring the way he chased you and whined.

“Y/n,” he insisted. You pulled yourself all the way out of his arms, and turned back to the fridge, grabbing a second water bottle.

“Finish your water and we’ll talk,” you replied. Jeonghan grumbled but raised his bottle back to his lips. You turned your attention back to Chaedom who was just sitting on your floor watching the two of you with an annoyed expression on her face.

You handed her the water bottle, trying not to throw it in her face.

“Did you drink a lot too?” You asked her. Or did you just get Jeonghan to drink a lot?

“Do you really care?” She bit back.

Touché.

You got to stand there for a good two seconds before Jeonghan was falling into you again.

“I drank a lot,” Jeonghan insisted. You raised an eyebrow towards him. “I meant water. I drank a lot of water.”

You rolled your eyes.

“You need to go to sleep,” you told him. Jeonghan groaned and tilted his face into your chest again.

“I get to see you for two seconds and then you make me go to sleep?” He complained. His fingers dug into your shirt. “I don’t want to sleep.”

“I very clearly didn’t ask,” you replied.

“You’re being mean to me,” Jeonghan complained. You were just barely aware that that was true.

“I wouldn’t be mean to you,” Chaedom asserted, unhelpfully, of course.

“You’re why she’s being mean to me,” Jeonghan bit out towards her. He looked up at you. “You’re jealous.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not-”

Jeonghan’s fingers tightened in your hair and he straightened up holding your head tight so that you were forced to face him.

“Don’t lie to me, y/n,” he said, his voice low. “I may be drunk but I’m not stupid. You know Chaedom doesn’t mean anything to me.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, refusing to say anything. Really just embarrassed because your jealousy was being outed in front of the person who you were jealous of. You did know that Chaedom didn’t mean anything to Jeonghan. You still didn’t like it when she touched him.

“Y/n, say it.”

You scoffed, letting the silence fill between the two of you.

“I’ll-”

Before Chaedom could piss you off more you murmured: “I know Chaedom doesn’t mean anything to you.”

Jeonghan nodded with a hum.

“Good.”

You let your attention turn back to him.

“I’m not just being jealous when I say that you need to sleep,” you insisted. You wrinkled your nose. “I can smell the alcohol from here.”

Jeonghan’s lips quirked down.

“But-”

“Seriously,” you insisted. “You left some clothes over last time and you can sleep in them. Just go to bed and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows rose suddenly, and his fingers loosened in your hair.

“You…” He trailed off and shook his head. “You’ve got to stop keeping men’s clothes after you’re done sleeping with them.”

“I-” You exhaled your frustration. “I wasn’t…” You glanced over at Chaedom. “This isn’t a conversation I want to have in front of Chaedom and this isn’t a conversation I want to have with you when you’re drunk.”

Jeonghan’s eyes briefly followed yours and he looked at Chaedom. A genuinely pained look crossed his face.

“Can’t you just leave?”

A pout crossed her lips.

“But I’m so drunk.”

Jeonghan’s eyes turned back to you and he sent you a pitiful expression.

“I want to talk now,” he insisted. “You always put off talking.”

To be honest, you did always put off talking with him. You should have come to him way earlier. It was like they always said… If they wanted to they would. You could have made time for him if you had really tried but… You were nervous.

There was no fear of rejection and yet, an unpleasant feeling was building in your throat.

“Tomorrow,” you said softly. “When you are sober.” His expression didn’t change. “I promise.” Still the same. “Really.”

Finally, Jeonghan relented. He let his hands fall to the side.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “But you’re going to sleep with me… Right?”

You gave Jeonghan a stiff nod. He nodded back to you and turned, swaying a little as if his drunkness had finally come back to him. He looked back over his shoulder and pointed to Chaedom.

“If you ever talk to me again.” He didn’t finish but his tone and expression were serious. Then another pained expression crossed his face. “I’m going to go throw up.”

You and Chaedom watched him stumble to the bathroom. Normally, you thought you would follow him. Hold his hair back, but Chaedom was still here.

You glanced over at her.

“Can you leave now?” You asked. She rolled her eyes and walked over to your couch. She plopped down on it defiantly.

You sighed, and disappeared down your hallway, reappearing with a spare blanket and a pillow. Yeah, you hated her, but to her credit her cheeks were red from the alcohol and you thought maybe the reason that she was always so… Shameless was maybe because she was always drunk when you saw her.

You threw the blanket and pillow at her face.

“There’s water in my fridge,” you mumbled. “Don’t die in my living room.”

As you wandered down the hall, you stopped by your bathroom, peaking in at Jeonghan. He was laying with his head on your toilet seat. You cracked the door open leaning on the doorframe.

“That’s disgusting.”

He held up a bottle of bathroom cleaner.

“I cleaned it,” he replied. “Made it worse. Bleach makes me want to wretch.”

He turned his head into your toilet bowl a little, his cheeks puffing out briefly. He sat there for a little bit, the strands of his hair falling pathetically into his eyes.

You closed the distance between you two, crouching in front of him. You brushed the hair out of his face, your thumb flickering over his cheekbone. He let his eyes flutter closed at the touch.

“It wasn’t worth it to drink,” he mumbled. “I’m going to be in so much pain tomorrow.”

You stared at him for so long that he opened his eyes, giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes, you had ever seen from a man in his 20s.

“You make me stupid, y/n,” he said softly.

You pressed your lips together tightly and nodded once. You didn’t respond to that because how could you? It was still a little baffling. Jeonghan, the campus play boy, made stupid by you.

Your eyes drifted away from Jeonghan briefly.

You wondered if he realized how stupid he made you. All your years as a psychology student were made null when it came to him. It was like when you were with him you forgot how to have healthy communication. You really had to work on that.

“You think you can make it to the bedroom?” You asked him softly. His eyes closed again, an annoyed groan vibrating through his body. “Well, I’m not going to stay with you in the bathroom. I’m tired.”

You pulled your hand away from Jeonghan, which just made him whine in protest.

“It’s like babysitting,” you protested even though honestly you would stay up with a drunk Jeonghan for as long as he wanted you to. You were just frustrated. Chaedom was still in your living room and for some reason even though Jeonghan had literally confessed his love to you she still thought she had a chance and-

“Help me up,” Jeonghan practically pleaded. You rolled your eyes, and grabbed Jeonghan by his wrist, tugging him up.

“Yeah, yeah.”

When you woke up, you were partially afraid to move. Jeonghan had an armed draped over your chest, and his head rested on your stomach.

After an hour you realized that you needed to get up no matter if Jeonghan was up or not. It was better to wake him up with food, probably.

You somehow managed to untangle yourself from his body without waking him, and you ended up leaving him splayed over your sheets, eyebrows furrowed. You wondered what he was dreaming about.

You walked down your hallway,

“What are you making?”

You barely muffled a scream by slapping your hand over your lips. You exhaled sharply, your eyes closing and nose furrowing slightly when you realized that it was just Chaedom standing at the edge of your kitchen.

“Why the…” You buried your face in your hand. “Chaedom why are you still here?”

She didn’t speak so you let your hand drop to your sides. She was staring at you, one of her cheeks red from having slept on it, her tight dress bunched up just a little higher than it should have been and her hair a tangled mess.

You felt kind of bad for her.

A little.

“He doesn’t love you,” you said. You shifted your attention. “He doesn’t even like you. Why are you doing this?”

She just stood there, staring at you.

“Look, you’re pretty, you’re better than this,” you said. “What is the point of going after some frat guy who is notorious for fucking around? So, what if Yoon Jeonghan doesn’t want to fuck you. I’m sure plenty of guys want to. Why are wasting your time on the one who doesn’t like you?”

Chaedom’s gaze dropped away from you, her bottom lip quivering slightly. You sucked in a small breath, about to continue berating her when a soft sob wrecked through her body.

“My boyfriend cheated on me,” she blurted. Your eyebrows rose in surprise at the confession, but before you could say anything in response she was colliding into your chest, her arms wrapping tightly around her body.

“Oh-”

“I thought that he loved me,” she cried into your chest, her tears literally already soaking through your pajama shirt. “I thought he loved me but then he fucking cheated on me and I thought men fucking suck, I’m just going to sleep with whoever makes me feel good about myself.”

Her fingers balled into your shirt and she pulled her face from out of your chest to look up at you from behind her red eyes.

“And then the first guy that I go to sleep with. The one who is the ultimate fuck boy, who is all no commitments and fuck whoever walks doesn’t want to sleep with me because suddenly he isn’t a trash human being.”

She let out another loud cry and then her forehead tipped back into your chest. She briefly knocked the breath out of you, and you stumbled a little to accommodate her weight.

“And I can’t even blame him,” she wailed into your stomach. “You’re fucking beautiful and kind and perfect.”

Your mouth dropped a little bit.

“Men really do change for the right people and Shindong just wouldn’t change for me.”

You couldn’t help the confused expression that spread over your face. You stood there motionless for a little bit, waiting for her crying to calm down. After a few minutes it didn’t. You pressed your eyes shut tightly when you realized that you were going to have to actually to confront the conversation.

You awkwardly patted Chaedom’s back.

“Hey,” you said uncertainly. She just kept sobbing into your chest. “Hey, Chaedom you-” You sighed, and pressed your hand to her forehead, pushing her back. “Go… Go sit down on at the island, okay?”

The tears continued to run down her cheeks, and she took two large breaths.

“I don’t want to impede,” she managed to get out. You were so strong and such a good person for being able to hold yourself back because wasn’t everything she had done since you met her impeding?

“It’s fine,” you insisted. “Just… Sit okay?”

Chaedom sniffled but nodded, finally peeling off of you. She walked over to one of the stools and fitted herself on it.

“Look, you’re wrong, okay?” You said softly. You grabbed one of your skillets and cracked an egg into it, turning up the heat on the stove. “Men don’t change for people. People don’t even change for people. They just don’t.”

You turned over your shoulder to look at her.

“The psychology behind cheating is complicated because sometimes it makes sense and it’s easy to pin down. People cheat because they are angry or have low commitment or esteem issues. Some people are just fucking narcissists and they get bored so they just do something to see how the other person will react. I don’t know why Shindong cheated on you. Even Shindong might not know why he cheated on you.”

Chaedom’s bottom lip quivered.

“So… I should… I should take him back?”

“No,” you blurted back, shaking your head. “I’m saying that you are going to spend hours and days and weeks, maybe even months trying to figure out why he did what he did. But you won’t. You will never know why, and even if he tells you, you can never trust him.”

You shrugged and turned your attention back to the eggs.

“Because he lied to you once, and if he gets away with it once he will try to get away with it again,” you continued. “I mean the way that men and women cheat is different. There are a lot of studies done about how it seems that men generally cheat for the sexual thrill while women tend to cheat due to feelings of love or intimacy-”

Your eyes narrowed a little as you realized you were wildly getting off-track. Your summer psychology project was finally coming in use and you were a little too excited over that.

“Not the point.” You focused back in on the eggs. “Shindong cheated on you, and he probably would have cheated on someone else too. In my experience, no matter who it was Shindong would have cheated. You couldn’t have changed him. That’s just who he is down to his core.”

You scooped some of the eggs onto a plate, and walked over to Chaedom, pushing the plate of eggs towards her. You gave her a pressed smile and grabbed a glass of juice for her. You quirked your eyebrows up slightly silently telling her to eat.

She complied, but as soon as she had a mouthful of eggs in her mouth she was talking again.

“Bafeawut faow shoes chat mesplain wan.”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“What?”

She swallowed.

“But how does that explain Jeonghan?” She repeated. “He was a fuck boy, and he changed for you.”

“He didn’t change for me,” you denied. You cracked a few more eggs into the skillet. “The Jeonghan who stopped sleeping with other people and became desperate for my attention and turned down everyone for me wasn’t a change in personality.”

As you spoke you heard a creak from down the hall. Both you and Chaedom glanced into the hall and you saw that Jeonghan was standing there. He looked exhausted, his whole body weight leaned onto the wall. You pressed your lips into a thin smile.

“That’s just who he’s been all along.”

“That’s a nice sentiment,” Jeonghan drawled softly. “But not completely true. Maybe I didn’t change but there is no one in this world like you.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing away from him and back to Chaedom.

“You’re not meant to be with Shindong, and you’re not meant to be with Jeonghan but that doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable,” you pressed. “You’ll find someone, you just have to give it time is all.”

Chaedom let out an annoyed sound and let her face fall to the counter. Your mouth dropped open at the sudden action and to be completely honest, you were a bit worried that she had hurt herself. But then she turned her head to the side and blurted out: “Everything hurts.”

You realized that physically she was fine.

Jeonghan wandered over to the counter and sat down two stools away from Chaedom. He gave her an uncomfortable look and then his eyes flitted back to yours. He pressed his lips into a small pout.

“You made her eggs before me?”

You rolled your eyes and gestured to the eggs in the skillet.

“You were asleep. Just wait a second.”

Chaedom peeled her face up and looked at Jeonghan with a still pathetic expression on her face. Jeonghan’s nose wrinkled a little.

“Chaedom,” he mumbled.

“Jeonghan,” she replied.

You couldn’t believe that this was your life. Free therapy for a girl you hated, and babysitting for a guy who was in love with you.

You dumped Jeonghan’s eggs onto a plate and then placed them in front of him. He grabbed you by the wrist when you were close to him and pulled you in a little more. Your breath caught and you pressed your lips together.

His eyes flickered down to said lips. He smiled.

“Y/n-”

“Not in front of Chaedom,” you insisted, pulling away from him. He pouted again, but you turned away so that you didn’t have to look at him.

Breakfast was awkward, the silence in the room deafening but you were avoiding Jeonghan’s eye contact like it was the plague and Chaedom was still crying to the point were you were seriously considering saying more.

Before it could get to that point however she sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

“I should get going.”

It was a relief to hear those words, and you saw Jeonghan perk up but you tried not to let your excitement show too much.

“Yeah?” You managed out. She sighed and nodded, getting to her feet and sending you a sad smile.

“I think I’ve overdone my stay a little.”

You didn’t agree but… You wanted to. Chaedom got to her fear and you followed to the door (but you could hear the padding of Jeonghan’s feet on the ground behind him so you knew he was following too).

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” You asked softly, unable to believe that the words were leaving your mouth out of a genuine place for concern. Chaedom gave you a tired smile, her eyes still dark red from all the crying she had been doing.

“I’m going to a friend’s house,” she assured. “Thanks for everything.”

Jeonghan was still hovering close to you, his hand on the small of your back. You respected that he was fighting so hard to not be too touchy but… you were glad that his hands were on you.

… And not Chaedom.

Chaedom’s eyes went to Jeonghan’s as if she could hear your thoughts.

“You know if you get tired of y/n, you can always call me.” She laughed and somehow within the laugh she started to cry again. You felt your fingers balling into tight fists. “I’m kidding. I-I’m going to go now.”

She gave you both a wave.

“I’ll see you later,” you said, giving her a pressed smile. She smiled back and then suddenly darted forward, wrapping her arms around your body tightly.

“You are so nice.”

You swallowed hard and patted her back.

“It’s… Going to be okay,” you assured. She nodded and pulled away.

“Okay, thanks.”

And then finally she was gone.

You felt your whole body deflate as soon as Jeonghan shut the door behind her, and without even thinking you tilted your head forward into his chest. You let out a loud groan. Jeonghan’s hand came to your head, and he patted you comfortingly.

“You were very strong to be so nice,” Jeonghan complimented softly. “If that were Yeongtae, I would have snapped him in half.”

You rolled your eyes and didn’t respond to him.

“Of course, you took out your rage towards her at me, which is annoying.”

“If I go to another party-” You looked up at him and sent him a glare. “And Chaedom, is wrapped around you as if she has a chance-”

Jeonghan dipped his head down, his lips pressing briefly to yours. Your eyes fluttered shut, and as naturally as you breathed, you pressed into the kiss. The hand on your back pressed you closer, and Jeonghan’s other hand raised to the back of your head.

He broke the kiss, his lips quirking upwards.

“You really have nothing to be jealous over,” Jeonghan assured softly. “And it’s really not healthy, but I love how jealous you get… You’re so fucking cute. As if I would ever look at anyone the way I look at you.”

His lips pressed briefly to yours again. You pulled away slightly, taking a sharp breath.

“W-We,” you breathed softly. “We need to talk, don’t we?”

Another small exhale and Jeonghan was creating more space between the two of you. His eyes narrowed a little, his nose scrunching very slightly. He gave you a very focused expression.

“Is it going to go well?” He asked you. “Because if the answer is that you are rejecting me, but you’ll kiss me before the conversation then we can push it back a little bit.”

A small laugh vibrated through your body.

“That’s not very healthy,” you reminded him softly, as if you had been the prime example of healthy communication and relationship managing this week. He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, let’s talk,” he agreed. He peeled away from you, patting you on the shoulders. He seemed hesitant to pull away from you completely, but after a few moments he finally did. He took in a sharp breath and nodded.

“Do we need a recap?”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“A recap?” You mumbled. He nodded.

“I… Really want a relationship with you,” he said softly. “I don’t want to lose you to someone you think will treat you better. No one will treat you better than me.”

“You didn’t…” You glanced away from him. “Didn’t quite say that before.”

“No?” Jeonghan’s voice was so quiet.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t said that, exactly. You just hadn’t really expected to hear it so… Directly.

“So… You like me, and you want to date me,” you replied softly. Trying to just nod slowly. Jeonghan’s eyes on you were making it really hard to focus. “And… I like you… For sure. So, the logical next step is to… Date you.”

Jeonghan didn’t say anything, for so long that you couldn’t help but look over at him. He was watching you with a different expression than you thought that he would have on his face. It wasn’t relief or excitement. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips turned down. He seemed concerned.

“Do you want to date me?” He asked you. Your lips pressed together, and you nodded, but there was a knot in your throat. Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed further. “You know you don’t have to do everything that I want you to. If you just want to sleep together still, I can do that.”

That wasn’t what you wanted. But somehow voicing that seemed terrifying. Jeonghan let you try to formulate words for a while, before finally speaking again.

“Y/n, can I hear about your relationship with Yunjun?”

A topic change was exactly what you had wanted, but a topic change to this was not what you had wanted. It was worse, possibly.

“No,” you mumbled softly. Jeonghan nodded.

“Okay,” he said.

You two were completely quiet before you shook your head, scrunching your nose.

“No, I mean. Yeah, uh, it wasn’t really a relationship,” you replied. “It was sort of like us? I mean, we weren’t actually strangers. He knew someone I knew, and we ended up sleeping together and he was rough and I liked that so…” You felt like you were going into too much detail. “We saw each other for a few months? I think, and then I broke it off.”

“Why?” He prodded.

“He was mean,” you said with a shrug. “Most of my past flings with people were like that. But I mean, that’s the hazard when I like what I do right?”

You tried to laugh it off to lighten the mood, but Jeonghan didn’t crack a smile. In fact, the expression on his face was terrifying. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t happy. He was listening and you couldn’t figure out exactly what he was feeling.

“Have you dated many people?” Jeonghan asked. You shook your head.

“Only a few,” you replied. You were quiet for a little while, but Jeonghan didn’t rush you. “Honestly mostly just fucked people casually. No dates. Always people I knew but wasn’t close to. Always happened more than once.” Again, too much detail. Jeonghan didn’t comment on that.

“Did you break up with them?”

“That’s a weird question,” you mumbled and again you were quiet. Why was talking to Jeonghan about this so hard? You could tell Jeongyeon about these things in your sleep, but with Jeonghan you honestly felt like you were suffocating.

Maybe it was just because you knew Jeongyeon so well. You could probably fuck five guys at the same time in front of her and she wouldn’t shame you for it. If you really wanted to, you could tell her every gruesome detail of your relationship with Jeonghan and she would listen intently and try to see it your way.

It was Jeongyeon and this was Jeonghan and they were different.

Would Jeonghan judge you for your dating history? Would he think you were actually a slut if he heard about the way that you let other men treat you? Why did you even care? You never cared what others thought of you.

“Yeah. I’ve always been the one to end things.”

Jeonghan was quiet and you had to look at him again. He was so good at getting your attention. Jeonghan held a hand out to you, and without thinking too much you took it. He pulled you closer to him.

“Am I too mean to you?” He asked softly. You shook your head, looking up at him nervously. “I don’t ever want to hurt you y/n. I lied to you and that is the last stupid thing that I will ever do.”

Jeonghan took your other hand in his and his thumbs circled over your knuckles.

“But if this is too much for you-”

“It’s not,” you pressed. “I just…” You pressed your lips together shyly, stubbornly keeping your eyes on the floor. “Say it again…”

“Again?” He asked softly. He seemed a little confused. “Say what again?”

You didn’t want to say it but he kept letting the stupid silence fill the room. Your voice was as quiet as you could make it.

“Say that you want to date me again.”

You didn’t have to be looking at Jeonghan to know he was smiling at you.

“I want to date you,” he said, and you could hear his amusement in the heightenedness of his voice.

You kept your eyes on the ground.

“Again.”

“I want to date you.”

“… Again.”

Jeonghan pulled you a bit by your hands and ducked his head so that he was able to look at you.

“Y/n, I want to date you.”

Your face was suddenly hot. You turned your head away from him but then Jeonghan’s fingers were on your chin. He turned you to face him.

“I want to date you. I want-”

You laughed, unable to help the smile that was crossing your lips.

“Really Jeonghan,” you said, honestly trying to change the topic even though you knew there was no world in which Jeonghan let that happen. “All of this time you were sleeping with all these different people. Why do you suddenly want to date someone? Are you really ready to just… Settle for one person?”

“I settled for you the moment that I realized you would sleep with me twice,” Jeonghan replied softly. “But… I think that you know that. Don’t you?”

You let your eyes flit away from him.

“Not initially,” you denied. Jeonghan huffed out a small laugh.

“What was it you said to me… That it would be stupid to ask me to settle…?” His tone was airy, so unserious. “That even if I hadn’t asked you not to sleep with other people you wouldn’t because sex with me is just so good.”

“That is not what I said,” you protested. Jeonghan laughed.

“That’s basically what you said,” Jeonghan replied. “Look at it this way, you’re y/n.” Your words sent right back at you. You gave him a look that was honestly mostly embarrassment. “That was the day that I realized just how desperate I really was just for your attention.”

“You’re ridiculous Jeonghan,” you chided softly. “You just… The me that you think you’re in love with-”

“I haven’t said that I love you yet,” Jeonghan interrupted. Your eyes widened at his words.

“Wha-”

“I haven’t said it yet,” he repeated with a shrug. “You think I’m in love with you, hm? Do you think… Maybe you’re projecting a little? You love me and you want me to love you back?”

Your mouth gaped open but before you could think about it too much, Jeonghan was laughing.

“I’m joking,” he breathed. “I love you, y/n. I don’t think that I’m in love with you. I know I love you. The you that I think I’m in love with? It’s just you.”

“Jeonghan we hardly know each other.”

Hurt flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and you immediately regretted your words. He didn’t let you feel bad about it for long though.

“Again, if this is too much for you…” Your eyes were screaming at him. Not too much. He sighed. “The point of dating is to get to know each other.”

“I know what the point of dating is,” you mumbled.

“Do you?” Jeonghan asked. There was a challenge in his voice. “Y/n, ever since we met we’ve been getting to know one another.”

“Are you sure that you aren’t… In love with some version of me that isn’t… Me.”

Jeonghan went silent again, and to be completely honest you didn’t think that you had ever really seen him frustrated at you. Not, outside of sex at least. But right now? He looked to be at his wits end. But… Not angry. Frustrated. Never angry.

Not at you at least.

“What do you see me as?” Jeonghan asked. Confusion flickered across your face.

“You’re Jeonghan,” you replied pointedly. It wasn’t enough for him; he arched an eyebrow your way. You sighed. “You are Jeonghan. Yoon Jeonghan. You love legos and you’re probably the most delicate frat boy in existence. You’re kind and deceivingly sensitive. You’re always gentle… And caring. You make me feel so… Loved.”

“See,” Jeonghan pressed. “We know each other. When you walked into my bedroom for the first time, then we hardly knew each other. But before you just knew me as Yoon Jeonghan the playboy. Now you know me as Yoon Jeonghan the angel of Alpha Mu.”

“I don’t even know your major,” you said bluntly, completely ignoring the angel comment.

“Don’t you want to find out?”

You two stared at each other. Silent.

“Do you still need time to think?” Jeonghan asked you. “I can give you more space. I’m sorry for drinking so much. I’m sorry if I burdened you-”

“Jeonghan,” you blurted but he ignored you. He started to pull away from you, but you grabbed more tightly onto his wrist. You tugged at him so that he was forced to stay close to you. “I want to date you.”

Jeonghan’s mouth closed.

“You’re right,” you admitted, but your voice was quiet.

“About what?”

Your fingers squeezed at his wrist.

“I was being mean to you because of Chaedom,” you mumbled. “You love me. Whatever. It’s still annoying that stupid Chaedom is all over you. And I want to date you. I do. I missed you this last week. I miss you every time I don’t come see you outside of parties. But no matter what you say or how close we get you are always going to be Yoon Jeonghan, one of the most eligible bachelors on campus.”

“And you will always be y/n,” Jeonghan insisted. “I think you’re more desired by the campus than you think.” He hummed. “But most importantly… You’re mine… Yeah?”

You swallowed hard; your eyes frustratingly focused on Jeonghan whose eyes were frustratingly focused right back on you. You nodded.

“Yeah.”

Finally, finally Jeonghan let you close the distance between you two. His hands found their way to your hips and he pulled you close to him.

“You gonna say it for me?” He asked you softly. “Need a little bit more than just a yeah.”

Heat was pooling your cheeks. Suddenly you were more embarrassed than you had ever been with him.

“I’m yours,” you whispered softly. “As long as-”

“I’m yours too,” Jeonghan promised, before you could even finish asking him. He dipped his head towards you and teasingly brushed his lips against yours. You tried to press your lips more firmly together, but he pulled away just enough to leave you unsatisfied. “I’m greedy y/n.”

You tried to focus back in on Jeonghan who was smiling at you in a very distracting manner.

“Greedy?”

“Mhm,” he hummed. “I knew that you were mine. Even though you hadn’t said it. Even though you were gone for a week. You know how?”

You shook your head.

“Because you still have those silly little hickeys,” he whispered back. You raised your hands to the back of his neck letting a frustrated expression cross your face.

“All you do is tease me,” you mumbled. “Why do you have to make me say things you already know?”

“Because I’m greedy,” Jeonghan repeated. “And I like to hear it. Your mine.”

You took that as your chance. You dragged Jeonghan’s head down by applying pressure on the back of his neck, finally firmly pressing your lips together. Jeonghan let a small laugh leave his lips but didn’t try to pull away from you.

You never got to be in control of the kisses, and so you were relishing being able to be in control of this one. Your fingers buried into Jeonghan’s hair, and you pressed him closer and closer to you. So grateful to finally be alone. So grateful to be kissing him again. So grateful to finally be done talking.

Jeonghan pulled away from you and you shamelessly let a whine leave your lips as you chased him. He laughed.

“I can’t believe that you’re the one always running from me,” Jeonghan breathed. His hands dipped under your shirt, his cool fingers pressing against your warm skin. “Because you are kissing me right now like you need me to breath.”

You blamed frustration completely and entirely and nothing else could possibly be behind what you said next.

“I fucking feel like I need you to breath.” Ew, ew, ew. “Jeonghan, it’s been a week.”

Jeonghan hummed, ignoring your obvious pleas. Ignoring the fact that your words had made you want to die a little on the inside. Jeonghan didn’t care. You didn’t understand how he always had such immense patience when it came to literally everything. His hands were roaming over your skin so lightly. His touch like a feather. He was so confident that you were just going to stand there and take it. Like he owned you.

“I do own you,” Jeonghan mumbled as if he could hear your thoughts. His head dipped into your neck, his lips ghosting across your skin. “Isn’t that what you said? Your mine?”

“I didn’t say you owned me,” you mumbled. A lie, and you both knew it was. Jeonghan hummed.

“Someone forgot about how you begged me to own you the last time I had my hands on you,” Jeonghan mumbled. “And you certainly are acting with a lot more humility than you usually do.”

His eyes drifted up to yours as his lips brushed your neck.

“Does being vulnerable really humiliate you more than degradation?”

Your face was burning and it was all the answer that Jeonghan needed. He ducked his head back into your neck, his fingers trailing up your back to toy at the latch of your bra. You knew that Jeonghan knew had to unlatch your bra. You knew he could do it with one hand much less two.

He was teasing you. He was still teasing you.

You experimentally let your hands drift down Jeonghan’s body, pressing firmly on his shirt at the bottom and pushing up. Jeonghan just hummed against you, teeth agonizingly dragging over the nape of your neck.

“Someone’s getting impatient.”

“You’re too patient,” you argued back. “You can’t touch me like this and then act surprised when I want you to take your shirt off.”

As you spoke you lost your confidence because Jeonghan’s mouth trailed down your neck, to your clavicle and then he was pushing your shirt off and you couldn’t help but get excited. You grabbed the hem of your shirt and backed away from Jeonghan, pulling the shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor.

A small laugh left his mouth and he nodded slowly.

“Well, you might as well take the rest of your clothes off,” he said, his voice low and teasing. A small frown crossed your lips. Well, a pout really.

“You’re not taking your clothes off,” you mumbled. Jeonghan crossed his arms over his chest, an eyebrow raising, and his face growing serious.

“Maybe I should reword,” Jeonghan mumbled. “If you’re going to act like a whore needing to take my shirt off when I’m trying to just enjoy time with my pretty toy than you are going to do as I ask. Take your clothes off now.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. You began to as quickly as possible undress, the cold air of the kitchen, ripping a shiver from you as you kicked your pants off. Once you were completely naked, you threw your hands behind your back, trying to hide an excited look as Jeonghan stared at you.

His expression remained serious and he remained quiet. Still not moving to undress. Still not touching you.

“Jeonghan-”

“Did I say you could talk?” Jeonghan asked. You pressed your lips together tightly, shaking your head once as your body heated up like it was on fire. Jeonghan tutted softly, raising a hand to head so that he could brush some of the strands out of his face. “On your knees y/n.”

You dropped down instantly, your body buzzing with excitement as Jeonghan started to walk towards you. Your eyes stayed on him, suddenly not feeling nervous about holding I contact with him. Once Jeonghan was within arms reach of you he stopped, unzipping his pants and working out his dick without taking them off at all.

“What’s your safe word baby?”

You were quick to answer, barely even the first syllable out before you were telling it to him. He cracked a smile.

He stepped a little closer to you, tapping the tip of his already hard cock against your bottom lip. Before you opened your mouth for him he was pushing the head of his cock into your mouth. You fell forward a little bit, your hands grabbing onto Jeonghan’s jean clad thighs for better stability.

He didn’t completely like that. One of his hands buried into your hair, tugging at you sharply.

“Did I say that you could touch me?” He asked you. You tried to shake your head, but his grip was too tight. Before you could try to even answer in a different way, he was pushing his cock even further into your mouth. “I asked you a question.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at Jeonghan, trying to shake your head again but it was useless. Jeonghan didn’t care about your efforts. Instead he focused on pushing his cock deep into your throat, not stopping until the only thing you could comfortingly look at was his pelvis.

“So bad,” Jeonghan chided lightly, his fingers loosened in your hair, but another hand found its way to your head. “Can’t even answer a single question.”

His fingers held your head in place and he slowly pulled his cock out of your mouth again. Once his tip was on your tongue he was pushing back inside of you, setting a slow pace of fucking your mouth. There should be nothing hot about a man who was just using your mouth to get off, but the little groans and moans that were tumbling from Jeonghan’s mouth were going straight to your core.

Your fingers tightened their grip on Jeonghan despite having been told off for having your hands there. You didn’t even care, and Jeonghan didn’t deem it important enough to mention right away. His pace slowly began to quicken, his hips snapping as if he was fucking your pussy. You couldn’t help the little whimpers that were leaving your cock-stuffed mouth as he began to fuck your face harder, and you knew that was just spurring him on even further.

“You look so pretty when your mouth is being fucked,” Jeonghan mumbled, his voice low and muddled with pleasure. “So nice when your mouth is so full of cock you can’t talk to me. All you can do is take my cock.”

You moaned at his words and he had to readjust his hands, giving you a couple of seconds to recatch your breath before going right back into it. His thrusts hard and fast.

“Hate it when you leave for a week,” he mumbled. “You come around telling me how much you love my dick as if you didn’t ignore me all week.”

He was going faster, and you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth and his fingers tightening their grip on your head. His voice was becoming a breathier, all evidence that he was getting closer and closer to coming down your throat.

“I would have fucked you every day this week if I could have,” Jeonghan mumbled. “And I will fuck you everyday now that your mine. There’s no excuse anymore for you to be embarrassed by how much you like me.”

Your face blazed but before he could say more Jeonghan was moaning loudly, shoving your face into his abdomen firmly as he shot hot come down your throat. Your eyes were beginning to water, small tears running down your cheeks, but you did your best take it well.

Still when he let your face go you coughed a bit of his come dribbling out of your mouth onto your chin. Jeonghan knelt in front of you, grasping your chin tightly between his fingers. His swiped his thumb across the cum and then pushed his thumb into your mouth.

“Cause that’s why you don’t come around all the time isn’t it y/n? You like me so much that you’re embarrassed about it.”

Your sucked on Jeonghan’s thumb but your eyes flitted away from him. Jeonghan pulled his thumb from your mouth and hit your cheek. You hissed in surprise (not so much pain) but Jeonghan was smiling when you looked back at him.

“That’s okay you don’t have to admit it,” he cooed. “But you’ll admit it to me one of these days.”

He soothed over the cheek that he had hit, a little pout spread over his lips, feigning pity for you and the fact that he had hit you.

“But right now I can’t expect you to be so honest huh?” His voice was so condescending and it was only turning you on more and the worst part was he knew that. His hand lowered to your cunt and only then did you realize how embarrassingly wet you were. His fingers pressed between your thighs and you instinctively spread your legs out a little bit for him, the dampness of your thighs meeting the cool air and sending a chill through your body. “Look at you, you’re already so horny that you can’t think about anything but my dick can you?”

He hummed and immediately pushed two fingers deep into you. You cried out, falling back on your hands, your mouth dropping open into a small pant as he began to fuck you hard on his fingers. There was a slight burn from the stretch but it felt so good, you couldn’t complain even if you wanted to.

“All I did was fuck your pretty little mouth and yet you’re dripping all over your floor like a bitch in heat.”

A whimper was practically ripped from your mouth, and you couldn’t help but shift your body so that your ass was on the floor just so that you had some stability. Jeonghan snickered as your back hit the ground. Your face burying into your hands as you tried to muffle yourself.

Jeonghan let out an annoyed huff and he sharply smacked your thigh.

“Why are you being so quiet now?” He asked you. “Acting like you don’t usually have an audience of twelve boys… No point in trying to save face when I’ve made you scream before.”

You whined into your hands, refusing to move them when all Jeonghan was doing was humiliating you today. Jeonghan didn’t like that, and he expressed that by shoving a third finger into you. Your back arched in pleasure and you threw your hands to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted. “It’s just- Fuck, it’s just embarrassing.”

“I’ve done worse to you,” Jeonghan commented, and he was right but that didn’t make it less embarrassing. It wasn’t even that he was fucking you really. Or… About you. Or teasing you, or that he’d fucked your face.

You still had that same residual embarrassment from the fact that you two were… Dating now…? That it was just making your heart pound that much harder.

“I wonder what I should do with you today,” Jeonghan pondered. “How many times should I make my pretty little toy come?” His thumb smashed down on your clit and it made you cry out again.

“You’re being so rough,” you whined, your fingers balling against the floor.

“Do you not like it?” He didn’t halt his pace, instead you suspected he was being even faster the sound of his fingers fucking you echoing in your apartment. You didn’t want to answer him. He knew you liked it but then his fingers smacked on your clit, hard.

“I do,” you blurted. “I fucking like it, like it so much.”

Jeonghan chuckled, and his fingers slipped from you.

“You’re being so bad today y/n,” he chided lightly. “What happened to my pretty baby who listens to me no matter what?”

He grabbed you by your hips, shifting you closer to him. He pushed himself in between your legs, settling himself there as he tapped the tip of his cock against your clit. Your thrusted up towards Jeonghan’s dick, desperate for him to slid into you, and when your bare thighs rubbed against the cloth of his sweatpants it just made you that much more desperate.

“And you’re so quiet too. Scared of your own voice, hm? You know I like it when you beg like my own little whore.”

The tip of Jeonghan’s dick dipped into you and you fought everything in your body not to fuck yourself on him. You just let another whine leave your mouth.

“Jeonghan I’m so sorry for leaving so long,” you mumbled, and as you spoke Jeonghan was slipping his cock into you. You forced your eyes shut as he wrapped his arms around your body, coming fully seated inside of you. “I’m so sorry, I need you so badly. Need you to fuck me, really really-”

Jeonghan cut you off with a hard thrust, his lips brushing against yours teasingly.

“I don’t actually want you to feel bad for leaving for a week,” Jeonghan mumbled. His teeth teased your bottom lip, and his fingers duck into your back. “Unlike you I’m patient and besides…”

Another hard thrust and you couldn’t help the scream that Jeonghan ended up swallowing into a rough kiss. He gave you another hard thrust, your body bouncing, afraid to grab him but really needing to not only for purchase but also just to be close to him.

“You’re always worth the wait.”

You must have clamped down on Jeonghan hard because as soon as you spoke Jeonghan was fucking you again, hard. He let your back hit the floor and placed his hands on either side of your head. His lips were pressed hard to yours and he wasn’t holding back in the slightest.

“Je-Jeon-“ You could barely get a word out. Your fingers twitched by your sides, trying desperately to hold onto the ground that it was literally impossible to hold on to. “I need-”

It was so hard to speak around Jeonghan’s mouth, but he let his lips pull away from yours as you tried to speak, placing his forehead to yours.

“What baby?” Fuck. His hands came up to your neck, his thumbs brushing the dip in your throat. “Something you want?”

You could tell he was trying to be teasing but it wasn’t coming off well right now because he was being so rough. His eyes were shut in concentration and he squeezed your neck lightly driving you even fucking crazier.

“Wanna touch you,” you managed to get out, your voice quiet. Jeonghan laughed.

“Is that so? Thought you were being bad today, why didn’t you just grab onto me huh?”

You let out a frustrated sound, wanting to grab him out of spite but wanting to be good like he was teasing you for even more.

“I’m good,” you managed to get out, but you sounded so pathetic and broken as you spoke, each thrust so rough that you were starting to practically sob on his cock. Jeonghan’s lips tilted down to your face, kissing at the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“You want to prove that you’re good?” He asked, you nodded, your mouth open so that you could pant. “Why don’t you come for me? Want to feel you come on my cock again so bad… Missed it, missed you-”

He didn’t have to say more, he didn’t even have to touch your clit. A sob left your lips as pleasure whirled through your body. You couldn’t hold back if you wanted to, you desperately grabbed at Jeonghan’s biceps, squeezing at him hard to try and gain some control over your position.

Jeonghan didn’t even falter, instead he got faster, and harder.

“S-sensitive!” Was all that you managed to get out, and it just made Jeonghan hum against you.

“Is that so baby? Cause I’m nowhere near done with you.”

You whimpered, and you tightened your grip on Jeonghan.

“I’m going to make you come until you literally can’t come anymore,” Jeonghan promised. “Won’t stop until you either safe word or I’m finally satisfied. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you tapped out.”

As he spoke, you were already overcoming the slight discomfort from him fucking you through your orgasm. You shook your head desperately, knowing without even knowing how long it was going to go on for that you were not going to tap out.

Ignoring Jeonghan for a full week was such a terrible idea for you because it just meant that you needed him that much more. You felt so good with his cock stuffed inside of you, his hot breath on your cheek driving you feral. You readjusted your arms so that your fingers were threaded in the roots of Jeonghan’s hair.

You couldn’t help it, you started quietly begging Jeonghan to fuck you harder. You knew you were pulling a little at Jeonghan’s hair and normally you didn’t think he would entertain it but he didn’t seem to mind.

“You’re so slutty y/n,” he mumbled. “You submit to me so fast. So willingly. Wanted me to take my clothes off so badly but you don’t even actually care that I’m fucking you like some common whore.”

You nodded, still babbling, still nonsense and Jeonghan was eating it up.

“You’re not even making sense,” he teased, and as he spoke another orgasm was wracking through your body. Your head tilted up and your lips brushed against Jeonghan’s but he pulled away from you as you did. “My little baby, coming on my dick from being talked down to. Like it so much don’t you? Like it when I fuck you stupid. Why don’t you try and get another straight sentence out for me?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in concentration but Jeonghan’s lack of letting up was making it hard. With each thrust his sweat pants brushed against your clit and the friction was making you pull away form Jeonghan a little as you came down from your second orgasm.

Jeonghan didn’t mind that either. His thumbs pressed down together every now and then as you hiced, making your voice come in and out, your breathing becoming just that much more desperate. He was toying with you, enjoying the way that your wish to breath increased when he pushed down on you, letting up the pressure only so that he could watch you catch your breath and then take it away from you all over again.

You could feel another orgasm building up in your core, and this time you were chasing it, your abused pussy the last thing on your mind as you rolled your hips down on Jeonghan. You wanted him to come so badly. Wanted to feel him fill you up because you had felt so empty recently, and you must have been telling him exactly that because you felt Jeonghan’s cock twitch inside of you and:

“Yeah? You want it that badly?” He had somehow managed to steady his voice but you could tell by the sudden erraticness of his thrusts that he wasn’t actually that composed. You could also feel it in the slightly bending of his pointer fingers on the back of his neck, you were making it so hard for him not to come.

“Y-Yeah.” You finally managed to consciously get something out. “Need your cum so badly, don’t you want to fill me up? I want to feel full of you.”

Jeonghan tried to hum but it came out wrecked.

“So good at begging,” he praised and it affected you just as much as it did when he was degrading you. Your back arched and you pressed your chest into his tshirt covered chest. You couldn’t help it.

“Jeonghan pl-please, I-” You were interrupted not only by the feeling of come being shot deep inside of you but by Jeonghan’s lips crashing hard onto yours. You were crying like a baby on him as another orgasm was ripped through you and it hurt but the pain was practically null to the full burning pleasure that was filling your body as he shot string after string of cum inside of you.

His thrusting began to slow down until he was agonizingly slowly dragging his cock in and out of you. He was breathing hard against your lips, no longer kissing you, but pressed against your lips regardless. When he finally came to a stop inside of you his body slumped against yours.

“You’re so good for me,” he mumbled. “So good. Always so good for me.”

You didn’t respond to him, your fingers still tugging at his hair tightly as you tried to bring your breathing back to normal. Jeonghan didn’t really care about that. He slipped his cock out of you and before even a drop of his cum could leave he was pushing two of his fingers back into you.

“Such a sloppy little pussy,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips and you could feel the smile. “Does it feel good?”

You had to be honest, and you breathed a yes, your body buzzing as he you felt his cum slowly being pushed deep into you, then threatening to drip out before being pushed right back into you.

“Jeong-“ You were going to come again, and you knew that Jeonghan could feel it because his thumb pressed to your clit again making you cry out in pleasure.

“Your really going to come from me fucking my cum into you?” He teased, and that was all he had to say before you were coming again. Sobbing against his lips.

“C-Can’t do more,” you begged breathily, and as you spoke Jeonghan was slipping his cock back into you. Once he was fully inside of you however he stopped completely, his head dipping down into your neck. He fell quiet, his chest rising and falling gently against you.

You were afraid to talk because the feeling in your heart was a lot heavier than it should be for someone that you had just started dating. You bit down on your lip on your lip to keep yourself from speaking.

“Y/n,” Jeonghan breathed against your neck, sending a chill through your body. “Y/n, I really do love you.”

He took the words that you were afraid to say to him right out of your mouth, and as you fought to figure out what to say back to him because surely such intense feelings from you to him was due to the post-sex haze your phone started to buzz on your counter. Your eyebrows furrowed and despite Jeonghan’s protests, you wrestled your way out of his arms and picked it up.

“Oh, it’s Yeongtae,” you mumbled. You didn’t think twice before sliding the green phone across your screen and putting the phone to your face, and it made Jeonghan groan unabashedly. He wrapped his arms around your body, tugging you into his chest, but you mostly ignored him.

“Hey,” you mumbled into your phone.

“My head hurts.” You pulled your phone away from your ear suddenly. He was so loud. “And I don’t know where I am.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you pulled away from Jeonghan a little bit.

“You don’t know where you are?”

“Last night I went home with a girl and we got on a bus? And we were kissing, and then we got off the bus? And now I’m in a neighborhood somewhere?”

You glanced at Jeonghan, putting your hand over the speaker.

“He’s lost,” you mouthed.

“Put it on speaker phone,” he mouthed back. You frowned slightly but did what he wanted to regardless.

“Can you see anything that you recognize?” You asked him.

“Uh…”

“Have you not tried using your gps?” Jeonghan asked. Yeongtae was silent for a second.

“Jeonghan? Y/n, you actually talked to him!” Came Yeongtae’s very loud voice. “He sounds jealous.”

“Do you want our help?” You asked Yeongtae sharply. He was silent for a few moments.

“Can you two come pick me up? I think I was on the bus for like three hours.”

“Three hours?” You blurted, unable to help it. “How drunk did you get?”

“Y/n please,” Yeongtae begged in the phone. “I won’t ask you guys again.”

You sighed, but not because of Yeongtae. You looked over at Jeonghan, not having to say a word for him to understand what you were asking him silently.

“We’ll come get you,” Jeonghan relented rolling his eyes. “And it’s okay if you ask again. What are best friends for?”

You didn’t let Yeongtae think about the slightly sarcastic way that Jeonghan added the best friends part- something that Yeongtae clearly didn’t even remember saying.

“Send me your location okay? We’ll be there soon just sit tight.”

“Okay.” Honestly Yeongtae sounded tiny over the phone. “I’ll see you two soon. Thank you.”

You ended the call between you two and before you could say anything Jeonghan was groaning and he was burying himself into your neck. You sighed, raising your hand to his head.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, honest. “It’s just-”

“It’s okay,” Jeonghan interrupted before you could say more. “I get it. You put up with Chaedom, I can put up with Yeongtae.”

He sighed, and pulled away from you a little bit.

“Besides, you’re mine right? Since we’re together it doesn’t matter if you hang out with Yeongtae or if I hang out with Chaedom.” You knew he was joking but you still sent him a glare. He laughed. “Yeongtae isn’t really that bad,” he admitted. “Weird. But he treats you well.”

Before you could ask Jeonghan if he was okay because oh my god, a nice thing about Yeongtae coming from Jeonghan’s mouth? You genuinely never thought you would see the day- Jeonghan was pulling apart from you.

“Okay, let’s get you in the shower,” he said. Your eyes widened in surprise.

“But Yeongtae-”

“He can wait,” Jeonghan pressed. “We’ve got to get you clean and then we’ll go get him.”

He fixed you with a serious look.

“But now that we’re dating? You have no excuse to avoid after care. After we get Yeongtae home you’re all mine okay? I just want to hold you.”

You pressed your lips together, just to prevent yourself from admitting how badly you wanted that. You just nodded. Jeonghan looked at you, clearly wanting you to say more but he didn’t push it. He sighed and mirrored your nod.

“You’re so good for me,” he mumbled, and the embarrassment caused warmth to crawl up your neck. “Come on.”

Part Eight (The Finale): Something He Likes

#seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #svt fanfiction #seventeen smut #kpop smut #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan smut

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sea-lanterns · 1 year

Text

SWEET DESIRE

synopsis: genshin women who are biters!

featuring: miko, shenhe, rosaria, shinobu

rating: 18+ nsfw (minors dni)

warnings: gn! sub reader, no mentions of s.ex but highly suggestive, biting, licking, blood drinking, marking, possessiveness, jealousy, lots of teeth mention.

art credits: my food seems to be very cute

MIKO

When Miko bites, she bites hard. Her teeth are a lot sharper than a human’s, so whenever she sinks her teeth into your skin, it hurts. (In a good way, but maybe it was just the masochist in you…)

She’s quite rough, too. Very possessive as she often marks you up with her fangs especially. Fox canines are very sharp, yet she uses them on special occasions whenever she gets jealous or particularly frenzied. Just like how dogs get zoomies, Miko gets them too, yet in a very…different way.

You could tell Miko is just itching for a bite when her tail pops out and it’s flicking a lot faster than normal. The tips of her fangs peeking out from her lips, and the nail dents in her arms from squeezing herself too hard. She gets rather excited at the thought of seeing you, and it shows in the form of several, several, varying bites.

There are small bites, like little nibbles as she savors you like the snack you are. These ones are the cute ones, she usually does these to express playfulness and teasing.

Then there are bigger bites, ones that actually leave a dent and cause her to kiss it better when she sees it bruise. Her lipstick framing the bite like it was a piece of valuable artwork, as these ones are the passionate “I love you” ones.

Then, there are the feral bites. The ones where Miko literally opens her jaw to chomp on you as lightly as she can (for this one can make you bleed if she’s too violent) This bite occurs whenever she feels rather jealous or possessive, and she wants to remind you that you are with her and her alone. These ones bruise a lot, and sometimes draw blood when she’s not careful.

But don’t worry…she’ll always lick it better to soothe you <3

SHENHE

Oh, Shenhe is shy, but absolutely unhinged when she wants you to herself. You’re not sure if it’s her rage or powers or what, but Shenhe can be quite the biter when she wants to be.

Now, keep in mind, Shenhe would never purposely hurt you. She loves you way too much to even fathom the thought! However, growing up with the adepti, meant she was taught some very…interesting techniques to show love to her partner… Well, they are quite ancient, so their courting practices can be a little outdated…

Shenhe’s bites are quite strong, yet very stiffly controlled. When she gets a little antsy or just craves more attention from you, she starts grazing your skin with her mouth, making it seem like she was kissing your hand innocently, when really she’s raking the edge of her teeth over your fingers.

You notice right off the bat, she’s looking at you through her lashes with that half-lidded gaze. You could tell that she just wants you right this moment, and if you don’t do something quick she’ll take a chomp out of your neck right there in public. (She hasn’t quite grasped the concept of public displays of affection…)

She’s very quiet when she bites you. Her lips are surprisingly soft (and very cold) whenever they brush against your neck. She’s shy at first, but slowly her movements are more precise. Not just brushing against your skin, but now leaving firm dents in certain spots just how you like it.

If you shiver under her touch, she pauses, comprehends whether that was a pleasant or painful shiver, and resumes when she sees no signs of distress. She’s a gentle girl after all… <3

ROSARIA

Rosaria is mean. When she bites, she means it as a warning or way to keep you in your place. She’s probably the complete opposite of the other girls, as she wants it to hurt. (Sadist Rosaria canon)

Rosaria isn’t one to punish without reason, if she bites you there’s always a good reason why. You were being too whiny? Chomp. You were particularly rude in a response to her? Chomp. You just looked so attractive? Chomp.

This sounds a little…odd, but Rosaria gives me vampire vibes. And by that I mean she bites hard enough to draw blood and licks it. I’m not kidding, you have to have a higher pain tolerance with this woman as she quite literally enjoys the thrill of your pain.

When she punctures a small opening for blood, she holds you still and laps her tongue over the wound to savor the metallic taste. It looks and sounds eerie, but you can’t help but find the action attractive as she always makes sure to hold you tight.

She also bites from behind like a vampire, using her clawed hands to tilt your head back as she leans in quietly to stake her claim. The tips of her metallic nail guards gently scratching at your chin, as you feel a similar prickly sensation of her teeth on your neck.

In the end of it all, Rosaria really just loves you (and your blood, but that’s beside the point). In her eyes, if you’re red all over, it’s a sign of love… Whether it be a blush on your face, or your own blood dripping down her lips…

SHINOBU

Shinobu is so nice. Unfortunately, she has some insanely sharp teeth for a human that she covers up with a mask (personal headcanon). She’s a little self conscious about it, but when she smiles at you without her mask, you can’t help but adore how cute her teeth are.

Shinobu is super careful when she kisses you or bites you. She’s extra gentle since she knows just how soft and sensitive your skin is, so everything she does to you takes time and care.

Her favorite place to bite you is your stomach. Unlike the other girls who usually go for the neck or collarbone, this girl pays some extra attention to your stomach. She honestly just really likes how soft the stomach area is, as the skin there is a lot more pleasant to kiss in her humble opinion.

When she grazes your stomach with her teeth, it tickles a lot. They’re so sharp and pointed yet so gentle as she rakes them over slowly, analyzing your skin for the perfect spot to mark. Once she does however, you’ll know because she stops right above the area and smiles slightly.

Shinobu’s bites are pinchy. They’re small, but wow do you feel the sting sometimes. They’re also extremely warm due to her tongue, as Shinobu has quite the long tongue that she uses to lick your bites raw and soothe the bruising to keep it from swelling. It works majority of the time, and wow does it feel good because she likes dragging it down your stomach to tease you.

In short, Shinobu really takes her time marking you. If anything, the more bites she leaves, the happier she gets. One thing you notice however, is that whenever she bites your stomach, you notice them trailing lower and lower until…

#yae smut #yae miko smut #shenhe smut #rosaria smut #kuki shinobu smut #yae x reader #yae miko x reader #shenhe x reader #rosaria x reader #kuki shinobu x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin women x reader

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devilishgaysayshey · 4 months

Text

Peter Pan NSFW Alphabet

(gender inclusive)

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

He is quite sweet afterwards. He might joke a bit, but in a lighthearted manner. Expect a lot of kisses, cuddling and fondling.

If it was a quickie and he has to go soon, he'll still clean or heal you if necessary. And he'll kiss you and hug you tightly. Promising to come back as soon as possible to be with you again.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

He is very pleased with his torso and eyebrows. But he likes pretty much everything about himself. Mans is cocky.

Pan is picky, so if he likes you, he really likes all of you. But he is particularly fond of your neck, waist and any erogenous zones you have.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Loves seeing his partner covered in his cum. Pretty much anywhere really.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Is a bit of a masochist, probably wouldn't admit that quickly out of pride.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

Definitely has experience.

F= Favorite position

He has many. Ankles up, (standing) missionary, (standing) doggy style, the flatiron, leapfrog and stand and deliver being his top 6.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

He does sexually joke around to his partner, but he is more serious during it than you'd expect.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

Generally very tidy. Usually clean shaven if he knows partner prefers it.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

He can be somewhat romantic, but he is usually very lustful during it.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

He definitely does, although not as much when he has a partner.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

(He definitely has a lot of them because mans gets bored easily)

-Praise (Loves to see and hear how good he is doing.)

-Ownership (Gets off to the idea of owning his so. And tends to give them hickeys or bitemarks for this very reason.)

-Cream🥧 (Self explanatory)

-Rigging (Likes to restrain his partner, might allow his partner to tie his wrists up, SOMETIMES.)

-S&M (Submissive & dom - powerplay)

-Sadism (is sadistic asf)

-Primal play (predator & prey. This is a “hunter” mentality, where the top (or dominant) is the predator and the submissive (or bottom) is the prey.)

-Brat play (gets excited by being challenged and loves to teach his disobedient partner a lesson)

-Innocence roleplay (CORRUPTION → They're so pure - you want to end that. There's nothing that excites you more. & TEACHING → Why not show them how to please you...and how to be pleasured in return?)

-Somnophilia (Loves to see his so this helpless in front of him. Very much likes to wake his partner up this "way" if he knows they'll enjoy it.)

-Mild degradation (Specifically likes to see his partner get embarrassed by the things he does to them.)

-Gagging (likes to put a ball-gag (especially one with an "extended" edge to it) on his so, especially when it embarrasses them)

-CNC (Likes knowing his partner is secretly enjoying how he dirties them while they pretend they don’t)

Probably more, oh well.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

Almost anywhere, he doesn't mind getting it on against a tree, in a spring, as well as at any tree house on neverland. He is a big risk taker. But if he knows 100% for sure any lost boys will see he won't risk it.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

-Being challenged

-His partner exposing particularly more skin

-His partner being horny and needy

-His partner looking helpless

-His partner touching him suggestively while holding eye contact (particularly on his waist, arm and thigh.)

-His partner squirming

-His partner being flustered

N= No (turn offs or absolutely won’t do)

-Degrading him by embarrassing him or name calling. (NOT including being challenged by brat play) He'll actually get MAD.

-Any mention of his past

-Being penetrated himself

-Anything to do with scat

-DDLG, DDLB, DDLC

-Being ass grabbed or spanked

-Animal play

-Feet play

-Vore

-Unfaithful partner

-Sharing his partner

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

He is very skillful at giving, like i said, the boy has some experience. He also loves receiving. But prefers giving a bit more.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

Usually quite rough but never fails to make it passionate. When he wants to tease he can go painfully slow. And in the last round he might slow things down a bit too when his partner is particularly ragged or pleads to him for it.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

He is all for a quickie, but really prefers to take his sweet time when he can.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

He is a risk taker for sure, being confident about everything he decides. He also gets very excited about trying new things.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

Physically, he could on FOREVER. However he does have his schemes and stuff to do. But when he gets the chance you'll have to tell him to stop if you've reached your limit, because he'll can, and will, continue for hours on end if you'll have him.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

Usually only ropes and gags. He finds anything else useless when you have him.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

As already mentioned, he likes thrust very slow sometimes to see how needy and eager you get. And once you do he'll be incredibly rough. Likes to get you to beg for him.

On the other hand, he loves being visually teased. But he'll only accept being physically teased OCCASIONALLY. And when you do try to tease him during "it" he'll make short work of it, being eager for more. "Teasing are we? Very well.. Name your price." However he will definitely tease you back afterwards.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

He's the loudest when he receives head or you give special attention to his torso. He mostly grunts during banging, but not remarkably loud. However he does like to talk dirty, and give praise.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

Likes to smear the cum on his dick over his partner's face and have them wipe it off and lick with their fingers.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

He could have any size he wants with his magic, however his original size would be somewhat above average.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

He gets in the mood very easily. And ideally, he'd have some every day.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

He doesn't need to sleep, however he does enjoy sleeping with his partner whenever he can, so after you've fallen asleep he'll give in as well.

#ouat #peter pan #peter pan ouat #peter pan x male reader #peter pan x reader #peter pan x gn reader #peter pan pov #peter pan fanfic #peterpannsfwalphabet #peterpannsfw

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onyourhyuck · 11 months

Text

LOWLIFE. | L.DH | PART 4

— Prologue: “It’s simple, Y/n.” He leans in his lips inches away from your face. “You don’t want to tell me the truth then we’ll have to go through this the hard way.” He smirks and pushed you even more against the wall. “Until you cry…” His voice was soft suddenly as if he was sweet talking you right now but you knew deep down he meant every word.

— Summary: Where your childhood enemy found your diary one day where you wrote all your dirty thoughts about Lee fucking Haechan.

— Genre: Smut. Dub-con. Stalker Haechan. Haechan’s the biggest red flag. Everything is consensual but it’s very dark here. Haechan’s very mean and he doesn’t care a lot. Hair pulling. Dominant Haechan. Pussy slapping. Overstimulation play. Degradation. Slight praise. Jealous and possessive Haechan. Y/n is a masochist. Haechan’s very much the sadist here. Mention of Jaehyun. Mention of Diary. Blackmailing.

— Notes: I am so sorry this took so long to publish. I am on holiday 😭 I have a lot of work to publish still oml.

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Its been weeks since you and Donghyuck made contact in any form. There was no life between the two of you. For some reason you couldn’t face Donghyuck not after what you guys did. Usually you would be okay the next with seeing Donghyuck pretending like nothing happened but not after this one. The situation that went in hand was something else. Not only did he get upset with you. He also said things that made you think a lot.

Made you realise that you might be in this one sided situation all along with feelings that are becoming unhealthy. Whenever your classes were mixing the both of you together neither of you spoke but it seems like you were avoiding him more than he was. At least he made some eye contact with you in some moments when he was talking to you, but you completely aired him and that could only cause him to be taken aback by your actions. Your presence usually was very much attached to him like a hard glue and now you’re a floating water who doesn’t even acknowledge him. What’s happened to you? Donghyuck was left becoming slightly confused and less by the minute he grew upset that you’re the one who’s ignoring him.

Everyone knows that Donghyuck was the one leading you on, even his two friends, Jeno and Jaemin knew he was simply using you. But now that you seem to have a mind of your own, you’re no longer under his command and control it seems like you broke out and you don’t want to have this one-sided thing anymore. Not even the diary makes you feel like you’re threatened by his blackmail. And so Donghyuck was the one feeling gruntingly attacked and frustrated by you and your actions.

It is ironic in a way, you were the one chasing him all those years trying to be his friend, trying to show your love and adoration for him and when he never gave a second thought about it, you disappeared from that view of being a crazy obsessed little girl now. You’re no longer that person, or at least you’re trying to move on from him and his toxic ways. Now Donghyuck feels compelled to chase you without a single thought running in that head of his. It made him think that perhaps he went too far with you? Maybe he did something you didn’t like and that leaves a sour taste and smell in his mouth just by thinking about that. He doesn’t even know why he was worried if he did something that you weren’t comfortable with.

It’s not like he cared before, so why should he care now? Donghyuck really wasn’t understanding himself and his stupid thoughts. He only had you on his brain nowadays ever since you keep on avoiding and dodging him wherever he goes. Even if he purposely tried to cross paths with you somehow, you turn your back to him and go the other way. What kind of person does that?

He feels some type of hatred for you, but not the hatred you’re thinking. He hates that you’re making him feel this many things he shouldn’t even be feeling. Was this guilt? Was this some sort of joke you’re doing this to him? He feels hurt. Donghyuck had never been the type of guy to feel bothered when he’s ignored he goes about his day and thinks it is what it is.

But when you’re doing this it’s difficult. He can’t move past this, so he wants to do something about it.

You’re listening to music as you’re walking past the school corridors now. You wore your usual school uniform and your hair was in a little low bun today. You could’ve be bothered doing a fancy hairstyle today and leaving it down wasn’t really fitting your mood right now so you decided to do an up do and just go about your day, move on, and as you’re listening to your playlist you go on the phone to press shuffle so another song can play on your headphones; as your fingers gently click the screen, you feel yourself bump shoulders with someone and your eyes widen as you look at the tall figure. He was handsomely dressed neatly and he looks very smart and kind. He had light coloured hair and pale skin, he looks like an upperclassman.

Your eyes widen ever so lightly realising you bumped into him and you grew embarrassed so you only bow your head ready to say something complicated because your voice was coming out like a stuttering mess. “I’m s-so sorry oh my god are you okay? You’re not hurt right…” your voice trails off at the end going quiet because you’re busy checking for any signs of injuries the older boy might have, but he lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head.

You can’t change the feeling of being validated because the boy was asking how are you, he was quite bigger than you, and he was worried you might’ve broke your shoulder or something which he didn’t want happening.

“It’s okay, no worries, really.” He said and then looks at you up and down checking your body from just a little moment to check for any injuries too. “You’re not hurt right? I can take you to the nurse infirmary if you’d like.” He offers gently and you can’t help but smile ear to ear. No one has ever been this kind to you and even offered to take you to the nurse to get you checked out. He seems very polite— and gentlemen like. You somehow feel your heart skipping many beats at the handsome boy.

The boy can’t help but feel like your smile was surpassingly cute. You seem like a young innocent girl who doesn’t have many friends but he liked that considering you were so kind and emphatic. He likes your attitude especially how kindly you’re giving your time to check on him too.

You look down at your body and give him a soft approving nod. “I’m fine. Good as new still.” You tell him and he was quite happy about that. “What’s your name? I don’t think I’ve recognised you.” He was a senior so it’s quite known for him to know other juniors in the school however he has never ran into you and that’s probably because you prefer being a shadow. You don’t really like speaking to people in school, unless you have to. You don’t really like interacting if you’re being honest.

You’re always the quiet girl and you don’t mind that. You prefer it being that way since it’s easier to be quiet than to deal with people all the time. You learned that the hard way. Nonetheless Jaehyun seems pretty cool and you can’t help but feel yourself introducing to him.

“Y/n. I’m in Class 3E…” You murmur as you turn your eyes around the class door number in the distance and Jaehyun lets out a soft ‘ahhh’ as he now knows you’re a junior. His junior more like. “It’s nice to meet you Y/n. You’ve got a pretty name. I’m Jung Jaehyun.” His hand comes forward and you stare at it for a moment and you can’t help but smile if anything you were smitten over Jaehyun’s friendly demure he makes you feel safe.

And it certainly boosted up your low and tired mood. You shake his hand softly and then the hands let go unattaching themselves as they share a momentarily contact. Jaehyun smiles. “Y/n do you want to exchange socials? I think we get along quite well.” He beams and your face grew red with blush.

He wants to exchange your socials? He really said he wants to get to know you more and you’re just so bewildered. No one has ever asked for your socials before.

“I- oh yes okay, we can exchange socials I’d love to.” You say to him quickly as he was waiting for your time you seemed to be dazed in a way and he found that pausing reaction to be the cutest. So now your socials were exchanged when Jaehyun added your account and he smiles proudly. He was glad you wanted to give him your hand.

It just makes his heart ponder. You were very cute and you seem quite friendly and upbeat. Not many juniors he meets are like you. So he thought this might be fate he bumped into you today. You really cheered up his mood a lot.

And he cheered up your mood too it seems.

From the far on end distance would stand Donghyuck with a very glaring and dark expression almost like a dark cloud was over his head raining down on him and striking a blighted lighting down angrily. Hands tucked in front pockets as you and Jaehyun were walking now side by side and speaking. The way he hears your echoing laugh really bugs him and he wants to make it stop. Why was this bothering him so much more? He can understand you if you’re ignoring him and not speaking to anyone but if you’re ignoring him and now SPEAKING to someone he feels completely burned down like he was on fire, bathing in his anger.

Jaemin whistles as he knew his friends was enraged to the fullest and he enjoys seeing Donghyuck so upset. He told him before, that you were a keeper and you were only going to keep attracting men towards yourself. Because let’s be honest here, Jaemin and the other boys found you extremely pretty but you’re also very rare. You look innocent, you have this very doe-like energy about you, but deep down you’re nothing like that and that’s exactly what makes people like them so interested in you. They like that you’re coming out with two different sides to yourself.

He sighs patting Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Wow you got dumped by your pet.” The boy glared at his friend and slapped his hand away. “I didn’t get dumped.” He retorts back with a emphasised hiss. “She will come back crying to me. Watch her do that.” He said trying to be convincing but now it’s been a few days almost a week since you’ve been avoiding him; Jaemin and Jeno were really set on the idea that you’re not gonna come back anytime soon.

However his friends would not mention anything back and instead let Donghyuck huff in his own anger boiling over like an overflowing bathtub full of scorching water. He feels so much pressure in his head the fact you’re speaking to other guys as well now but you’re not speaking to him? It just hurts him knowing you’re not in his control and now all he wants is to have you back, being devoted to him.

“I will make you regret this Y/n.” He told himself. He vows to make you come back on your knees begging for forgiveness to spare you some if he can find any.

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You’re walking down the street not doing particularly much except being on your phone scrolling. You press on the Spotify icon and play your playlist that you spend your dedicated time making for yourself whenever you leave the house or go to school. You can’t go anywhere without listening to music, it’s like your life is based on around this playlist everywhere you go now and you’re not complaining. You have quite good music taste. Nonetheless you now make your way looking over the streets seeing cars driving past. It seems to be a traffic today. It’s raining quite badly too, it’s been gloomy these past days, you can’t help but think it’s to do with your mood too. Because now the weather is depressed and ever since you stopped communicating with Donghyuck, avoiding him at all costs, the weather goes sour. You try not to paint these coincidences to your situation. It might make you even more hung up on the idea that your silent treatment is too far. But you can’t just ignore what he said to you.

The words haunt you forever, even till now this day every night you’re hearing him repeat it to you like a religious mantra you couldn’t push out your brain. “You’re nothing but entertainment for me you do know that? The only reason I’m keeping you around is for your body.” He said those words to you, those horrible words that share nothing but your grief and your own one sided thoughts out down the drain. You wouldn’t believe him at first but you cannot shake the feeling these words have you.

You try your best to move on. But it’s like half of his heart is yours nowadays you feel not alive without him. You try to tell yourself time is the best healer, you need time apart, you need to move on and forget him already.

At least that’s your plan.

You break your own thoughts overtaking your reality and when you bring yourself forward snapping out of all overthinking you do you realise a car honking at you all this time. You look at them with a nervous apologetic smile and cross the road. They seemed quite upset with you, you didn’t realise they were making time to have you cross over, you got stuck in your own head: again. You want to sigh how much your own thoughts were drugged by this situation. You try not to think anymore. It’s bad enough that you stood there keeping a car waiting for you to snap back to the real moment.

Crossed over now, you walk down the another long road leading the neighbourhood opening. You see a bunch of houses similar to yours. The neighbourhood is quite similar in all designs the house provide. You couldn’t help but shake the feeling of the rain dropping down on your forehead now, against your glasses. You curse and take your glasses off wiping the water droppings by the hem of your sweater. “Great it’s raining…” you mutter at the horrible weather. You decide to put your bag over your head and start walking in the rain. Your school uniform wasn’t warm enough for this bad weather.

It’s meant to be near-summer why is it so rainy? You beg the rain stops but it seems to be getting worse now and you couldn’t help but wonder if this was some sort of accident happening to you. You listen to the heavy racket the rain makes against your cute leather backpack you bring to school, it was heavy and it starts to rattle like a glass on top of a washing machine when it’s washing a bunch of clothes in circulation.

The wind was blowing hard working with the ridiculous weather conditions. You swore the forecast is never correct. You start to think there is no point watching it if it is never correct about the weather throughout the day.

The downpour was so heavy that to be caught by surprise by it meant being drenched to the skin. Soaking every fabric to the skin like it was a piece parting of your body. Every droplet of water coming down on your beautiful hair submerges to your roots, wetting it, curling every strand of hair up. The gravity was thick and the petrichor smell of the rain surrounding the trees and the flowers fills your nostrils like the heavenly earth filling the air. The weather was a rollercoaster you couldn’t ride without the risk of becoming drowned into the ocean like a tsunami engulfs everything in the same way. It was so bad that you have no choice but to continue walking and accept this weather to your forsaken day and deal with it. You had to suck it up, and pray you don’t get sick in the process. You can’t help but admire how the cars driving on the road wipe the windowsill while they drive, or the houses getting wet and dirty by the heavy rainstorm.

The eerie feeling brushes down your spine. It’s like someone was watching you now that you made your way further you see your house nearby but now the, the moment your hips turn round to your side of the neighbourhood you live at. You feel two pairs of eyes on you. It was a weird thought that ran to your head. Why do you feel like you’re being followed?

It might be your paranoia, because it’s raining, today was a bad day. You feel quite gloomy too.

But the feeling was too strong to ignore. You turn around and look around the distance. You see zero people and a few cars driving past the road down. You don’t see anyone, but you swore you felt someone behind you watching you specifically. Maybe you felt like you were followed from the start but now you’re starting to grasp that.

You feel your throat going dry. “It’s probably nothing…” you whisper checking around with your eyes again just to out some reassurance to yourself.

Your feet turn around the heels and now your eyes widen as you were met with a dark gaze, a taller boy towering over you completely and you feel your skin growing deathly pale. Why have your legs gone completely numb at the sight of the boy you dread and love at the same time? Why was your brain half flight have fight? And why was your lips open wide but nothing coming out?

It turns out the creepy feeling of being stalked wasn’t so untrue afterall. You were followed all along by Donghyuck. From the moment school has ended he’s been travelling in your shadows and you were a fool to not even realise until your eyes took the surroundings in. Donghyuck knew you wouldn’t be able to notice him because of your earbuds in and that music of yours kept you busy for half a while. It’s a shame though, your priceless reaction wasn’t enough for him. Usually your silence was something he encourages.

But not today. Today he wants to hear you very much scream.

Donghyuck standing with a dark hood up covering most of his face but from where you stood and where your height was at you could see the dark grey cold eyes of his gazing into yours like it was your last warning. You might need a miracle to escape him now, you think to yourself. The feeling of your stomach turning and getting a cramp drags your senses to heighten maximum. He leans down whispering, crowing at your dumbfounded eyes and mouth wide agape like you were so shocked to see him standing right there in front of you. “What’s wrong Specs, got no where to run off to now?” Donghyuck mocks you down right back to your knees.

Your eyebrows rose at each insult he throws at you and you fiddle with your fingertips, the heavy rain covers your palms that dropped to your sides and your feet stopped working. You try to make yourself run, you try to do anything but you couldn’t do anything even if you tried your body stopped functioning. You wonder if it’s fear or if it’s excitement.

“D-Donghyuck… what are you… did you follow me h-here?” You want to curse. You want to be told to get your shit together but you can’t.

The sound of your voice aroused Donghyuck with the most intense and propounding cruelty to do to you. It’s the way your sweet voice breaks half way each word. You drag on your words at emphasis of your own fear he injects inside your body. Donghyuck very much loves the effect he has on you by just standing in front of your eye sight view. He wonders, if you get so stuck by watching him, what will you be like when he gets his hands on you finally after so freaking long?

You’ve been ignoring him for too long. Donghyuck wants to teach you a lesson on what happens when you ignore him. And it’s not going to be a very kind lesson. He ran out of kindness for you a while ago. “Clever girl.” He said, even though it’s a praise, it was a condescending comment that wasn’t a true meaningful compliment to you. Donghyuck trails forward grabbing your wrist that’s soaking with the rain, letting drops of rain on the ground by your cold and red fingertips. He spoke with a devilish smile. “I believe we have things to discuss, Y/n.”

You’re about to protest but the minute he saw you getting ready to say many things along the lines of saying no to him he just starts dragging you without giving you any chance to reject this moment away. Donghyuck can’t handle another moment of you ignoring him and he’s about to show you why you can’t do this to him. He was meant to be the sole reason of your affection and obsession, and he won’t let some stupid senior in upper class take that away from him.

You are meant to be his and only his. Donghyuck doesn’t like sharing what is his with someone who be doesn’t like. And even if he liked Jaehyun a little bit he wouldn’t of given you to someone like him anyways.

Usually Donghyuck wouldn’t be like this with you. He could care less about who you get and speak with. But now it’s different. Something within him changed and the boy was no longer something you could understand, he can’t even understand himself. You found yourself getting pushed inside Donghyuck’s front door to his house which wasn’t too far away from your neighbourhood. Either way you didn’t want to be in his house. The last time you were here you did things you want to forget. It just makes your stomach remember the things you guy do. The things he did to your body which is hard to forget.

You turn to the door that shut when he walks inside closing it behind. You gulp taking a step backwards. The both of you are soaked from your head to toes. Donghyuck can see your wet eyelashes, he found them more beautiful than before, and it was angering him that he was admiring your face that he couldn’t even see due to you ignoring him so long. It felt like a relief washed over his body when he finally saw your face. He found it more beautiful than last time. Maybe you were always this beautiful, but he never quite took notice until now.

And it’s killing him. He’s viewing you differently.

Donghyuck doesn’t understand where it all changed. When it all changed. Why it all changed.

“Donghyuck I don’t want to… I don’t want to speak to you.” You finally tell him when the courage in your heart and body was found. You’re even surprised you have the guts to tell Donghyuck this. What surprised you even more is that the boy wasn’t responding. Was he admiring you? You thought it was strange how quiet he is while facing you with a different pair of eyes watching you from another point of view low. You can’t help and shake this weird change.

Nonetheless you were now pressed against a wall with your wet clothes. The school backpack belonging to you fell somewhere on the ground. It was wet, every part of you was wet actually and his face shivering from how cold your bodies were when the rain was pouring down outside on you. “I think you’re lying Y/n.” Donghyuck spoke in a very low but soft voice as his hand caressed down your jawline and to your chin. You pull your face away trying to escape all those little touches he does to try and hypnotise you.

You feel his hot breath and low voice so irresistible to you that it is hard to ignore. You’re surprised you have even this much restrain in yourself because you feel quite weak whenever it comes to him. Even Donghyuck was now amused by your response. It is very different now. He’s enjoying your playing hard to get persona now.

He smirks seeing you completely dodge the touch his hands made against your soft beautiful skin on your face. “You don’t need to lie to me… let’s stop this push and pull game alright, before it gets messy.” He warns you deeply now.

Although Donghyuck was using his sweet voice on you. You feel so crushed by this and you narrow your eyes at the boy in front of you. He was like a shadow in front of you. So unpredictable. So untouchable and absolutely maddening to you and your self consciousness.

He poisons you and every right decision. He makes you do the wrong choices but they feel so right all the time. You can’t shake this feeling when you’re feeling your cherish able heart beat to every thing Donghyuck does to you. It’s like your heart feels so much more alive, when you are around him.

You feel your teeth stick together as you spoke out to him once again, you heard him say this, that you’re lying about not wanting to speak to him. He wasn’t wrong. But you can’t do this cycle with him, the words he said to you haunt the back of your mind up until now. “I am not lying, Donghyuck, I don’t want to speak to you.” You tell the boy in front of you. Donghyuck let’s out a quiet low snicker. “Oh yeah?” He said leaning down to your face. He can see a reflection of himself become enlarge in your wet glasses.

He gentle smirks. He found this new side of you to be quite entertaining. Donghyuck can’t help but think he’s going to have fun getting the truth out of you now. “I guess we will be here for a while now.” You heard him suggest.

“What?” Your innocent voice lets out quietly in the silence and dark hallway as your back is pressing on like a cement statue browsing on the wall against it while Donghyuck is a towering figure watching you with his glowing enticing eyes. Watching like a predator found a new sign of prey they cannot let go off. He finally found you again all to himself — he won’t stop now. Not now that you’re looking so beautiful with your fearful expression he sees while your glasses and your wet curls are there enchanting him. He must say he was a fool for not realising how pretty you look now.

It seems like you are confused. Donghyuck’s voice trails like an incoming train ready to take a roll ahead on the railway tracks ahead. It hit you like a hard brick when he goes to explain exactly the tiny little steps he will do now. “It’s simple, Y/n.” He leans in his lips inches away from your face. “You don’t want to tell me the truth then we’ll have to go through this the hard way.” He smirks and pushed you even more against the wall. “Until you cry…” His voice was soft suddenly as if he was sweet talking you right now but you knew deep down he meant every word.

You held your breath in when Donghyuck engulfs you into a passionate kiss that seems so loving at first. You were shocked he could kiss you in such a way. He was possible of kissing and treating you so nicely even if it was for a moment you feel yourself forgetting this was Donghyuck with the way he kissed you. When your lips touched his it felt so foreign. He made sure to take his time with you but at the same time there was hints of impatience and quickness. It was sweet, but dangerous at the same time. It’s like he wants your love, he was your love on him and only him. But you couldn’t help yourself but lean your head against the wall as Donghyuck’s hands brace themselves on your jawline holding it. The thumbs on the side press on your cheeks opening your mouth a little more access so he can slip inside his hungry tongue, ready to explore you in another hundred different ways.

Your thoughts all consist of many things such as: ‘This isn’t Donghyuck,’ or ‘Who was this boy?’ And you wonder the same thing. Donghyuck seems like a different person now and the mayhems he was brewing were over the top of the kiss when he pressed in deeply against your lips now. He made sure to kiss you so deeply your breath was sucked out of your body and you were feeling weak enough for your knees to tremble where you stood pressed latching on the wall that he made you go on. Donghyuck closed his eyes tight savouring his lips on yours. It was like a longing for him.

He loves hearing your little moans when he starts to lower his lips on your bottom lip pulling it apart lightly and then sucking on the exposed skin. He leaves a reddish love bite on it when the process was over and you groan closing your eyes as your head leans back against the wall. Donghyuck shifts the attention away from your mouth and now on your neck. The smell of your curly wet hair reminds him of the earthly rain outside, he didn’t hate it on you, the petrichor smell. Donghyuck’s tongue crawls down your skin on your neck, pressing wet kisses on it now. You feel your entire body going into a frenzy of shivers and pleasure. “Tell me you want more?” Donghyuck smirks as he still keeps his goal in mind.

You clench your eyes tight. “No.” You firmly told and Donghyuck smirks liking that you didn’t give in at all. Usually you wouldn’t waste a moment. But now you, you weren’t head over heels rushing in completely to him. Donghyuck was left thinking if you were doing this because of that senior earlier, Jaehyun, it fills him with some bad vibes from you. It would be a problem if you fell for someone that wasn’t him.

“Why?” He croaks against your neck now as he lifts his head up facing you with a dark glare. “Why, Y/n?” He asked once again with a snarl. You furrow your eyebrows, as you remember what happened the last time. You had the urge to tell him.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to explain why. You wonder if he would even care about it. And so you would rather stay with your own thoughts and not put the energy and effort to tell Donghyuck.

Donghyuck heard your lack of response and so, he starts to make scenarios up. He will know by your reactions if it was true or not anyways. He can read you like an open book when he catches you red handed. “It’s because of that senior isn’t it?” He comes closer to your face. “Jaehyun, right?” Your eyes brush against his now that he came closer saying Jaehyun’s name.

You furrow at the words as you’re now realising that Donghyuck was jealous. You couldn’t believe it. He was. Someone who would never be jealous was now jealous when it came to you and it sends your heart into some sort of pride overload.

“You’re jealous?” You say back with your eyebrows moving up on your forehead. Donghyuck glares at you. “I am not.” He said gritting his teeth at you. You push back with your words now. “You are. How did you know Jaehyun and I are friends?” You blurt out and Donghyuck looks down at you pulling on your hair gently, he tugs it and moves you around on the wall.

“I saw you.” He said simply and you grunt against the hair pull letting out a soft wince. You look up at Donghyuck, he was jealous, you saw it when his eyes tremble as you questioned him earlier. “You’re getting too comfortable thinking you can do and say what you want, Y/n, i would never get jealous.” He grits his teeth once again. “And even if I did get jealous, I have every right to.” He said brushing the free hand against your cheek. “Because you’re mine, no one else’s.” He seers in a rather greedy way. You never seen him like this before.

It didn’t take a moment for Donghyuck to lift your skirt. Instead of taking all your clothes he only rolled up your skirt taking a look at your black panties and he smirks watching your cheeks go red as he looks up at your eyes. He brushed over his hand. The clothed clit touching the very thin fingertips and you let out a little bit of a wince and a nudge. He saw you react quite well and he happens to enjoy seeing the struggling expression when he cups your area again now fully. “This pussy is mine, not Jaehyun’s, Y/n.” He reminds you again as he slips off your panties. You weren’t even aware of how cold you are when the fabric leaves your body dripping to your ankles and the way his cold fingers insert themselves to your insides so well — it shocks you deeply.

“Cold… cold…! Donghyuck.” You yelp and he saw your eyes widen. Donghyuck’s eyes up watching them dilate when he pushed the fingers of his within your walls as he smirks ear to ear. The movements became frequent leaving your soaking walls to squeeze and squeak. Donghyuck is loving the sounds you make, similar to ocean waves, they go back and forth in his control movements. He likes being in charge of your body, a lot more than you realise. You’re against the wall with your leg up on the side as you’re getting your walls pressed and stretched out, you’re loving how he feels so deep within you. The idea of his cock being this deep or even more drives you insane. He whispers. “Admit it. You wanted me to come to you like this.”

“L-like what? Admit what.” You said back between your voices changing the sounds as the way you’re being used against the walls like this. It strikes your body with many different layers of emotions you cannot process all at once. Donghyuck smirks as he slowly leans in, keeping the two fingers now deeply buried in your cunt wet dropping like strings of thin and thick slime. He watches your juices fall down resembling the heavy rain outside on his fingers and down your thighs and the floor in his house. “Admit that you wanted me to reach out to you and speak to you first. Admit that you wanted me to get jealous when you spoke to Jaehyun today.” He stares into your eyes deeply serious. He spoke with full attention on you. He darkly slants to you. “Admit you wanted me to say sorry first, Y/n.”

Your body reacts to each syllable and words he spoke to you before your voice and mouth could even answer Donghyuck. Your walls clench and your juices pour out making his eyes go darker shades of brown as he watches the sight of light happen in front of him. He can’t help but think to himself that he will never ever get tired of seeing you orgasm so much over his hand like this. As you orgasmed you held in your last bit and Donghyuck smirks seeing you try to shorten your orgasm as it’s become too much all at once. The boy brushed his hand and slaps the top of your swollen clit. Your pussy flinches in the process and your orgasm snaps fully and you release entirely now that he slaps your pussy for a good two seconds. It didn’t take long for you to let go fully.

You murmur out in broken moans in all desperation now as he slaps your centre completely down below you shake. “Y-yes! I admit it! I- I wanted you to say sorry… a-and i wanted you to approach me…” you let out a sigh as he stops taking another glance at your reddish cheeks and your eyes full of overflowing pleasure, he smirks again, leaning in. “And?” He adds softly in a dark powerful and controlling tone.

Your eyes trembling meet his. “And… I wanted you to get jealous…” you admit softly as you look down at the mess you made on his hands. Donghyuck tauntingly pressed his fingers against your mouth making you taste yourself on your own face. “Clever girl.” He praised you once again. “So you do know how to listen after all…” he trails carefully at you.

“Legs up sweetheart. I’m not done with you yet.” Donghyuck goes grabbing your legs and needing you to cooperate you do exactly that weakly pushing yourself more on the wall and wrapping your legs round the waist. He unbuckled the clothes down to his ankles and looks down as his long harden length coming out instantly, springs up, your eyes focus on the way his tip getting sucked inside your wall makes you groan by how you’re watching him enter you so well. You never knew you could get returned to such a pleasuring moment. You told yourself you won’t do this again. But you lied and now you won’t even listen to your previous statements because you’re enjoying the way Donghyuck was rutting inside you like you’re nothing but something to be used of his own pleasures. He treats you with so much roughness but at the same time, something was different.

He was more possessive of you now. He was much more sweet about this too. He took his time with you here and you feel yourself getting overstimulated the more this continues. He held your hands against the wall as he rocks to your inner core. Your eye contact was made multiple times he even dazed into your eyes only to lean in to give you a deeply pleasing kiss. You weren’t sure what made him so much more expressive in this moment. He wouldn’t even express himself before, but now?

The more this went on Donghyuck wanted to hear specific words coming from your own mouth with your very own voice. He looks at you getting close to your climax and he was coming close too however he didn’t care about his own orgasm for once.

For once he cares about what you’re going to say when he suddenly stops moving and your orgasm was ticking at the door. You were literally itching to orgasm and you let out a frustrated sigh when your eyes faze over at Donghyuck.

You were confused as to why he stopped to torture you. Donghyuck stares deeply and your confusion was cleared up when he speaks now, revealing what exactly he wants from you.

“Maybe you should call Jaehyun to help you cum.” Donghyuck adds in a mean tone.

Your eyes widen at such a beckoning demanding answer he gave you. You panic and see him pulling back but your legs wrapped around his waist stop him from being able to leave your body completely alone. You grab his clothes with your hands now desperately shaking your head as you look like you’re about to cry.

He was glad to see this reaction. Tears. He always loved seeing you cry because of him, and it makes him proud.

Donghyuck laughs seeing your reaction a little darkly. “Why are you crying, Y/n? Do you feel what I felt now when i saw you and Jaehyun speaking but you refused to talk to me for so long?” He mockingly said to you and you close your eyes tightly as the tears fell down your cheeks. “I-I’m sorry please, please don’t leave me here, I want to cum so bad I wanna cum.” You blabber on so much he can see you’re losing your mind in the process.

“Tell me why you ignored me.” Donghyuck darkly asked you once again as he brushed his fingers around your body. You are so itching for your orgasm you can’t even get it anymore because he won’t move until you answer his questions.

You huff out. “Because this whole thing is one sided. You might think I’m just crazy obsessed with you but I love you…”

It feels weird to say it out loud. You never really said the three words to him before. The simple word ‘I love you’ is pretty much a new thing to him and you now and when you said those, Donghyuck’s eyes widen and lit up as he watches you.

“You love me?” Donghyuck treads carefully against your neck planting a few kisses on your skin. They cause you to shudder a little wave of electricity down your spine. “Oh Y/n… you think this is one sided?” He laughs a little now.

He brought his face and held your hands on your hips now pushing you deeper in causing you to let out a longevity of your moan echoing through the walls. Enough to even make his neighbours hear your cries and your moans mixing together like a heavenly carpet tapestry on the wall.

“There’s nothing one-sided about this in the beginning.” Donghyuck begins, now forcing a thrust inside you once. “Wanna know why?” He croaks with a little groan. You murmur a silent sigh into your palm as your eyes widen watching the ceiling get bigger with the first long thrust he gave inside. “Because I loved you first, from the very beginning since we were children, and when I left you…” He smirks watching your eyes widen in confusion as he reveals that all along he’s loved you, but then he left you alone so suddenly when he realised he loved you. You couldn’t shake that imagination anymore and you shake your head not believing him.

Donghyuck grins satisfied by your respond. “Not believing me?” He says with a short smirk. “Why do you think i’m here apologising for my actions here?” He stated and you open your mouth with a pant as he keep on thrusting your body into the wall you are pressed upon. “Y-you… loved me all along?” You said with shock running on your voice, wild and confused.

The bodies you pressed one another your orgasm snaps at the end and he can feel your juices pour around his cock pushing inside your pussy. He feels himself releasing now from his twitching tip all the muscles contract and he feels a long groan stringing out by his beautiful honey voice. He pressed his head against your shoulder grabbing your hips right as Donghyuck was dizzy from the large orgasm you made him get. Your body feels so amazing it creates a side effect for him.

“Y/n…” Donghyuck begins with a soft sigh. He pants as he raised his head up meeting yours again. “I’ll ask you once again, only one last time.” He says watching you with a pair of softer eyes.

You focus your all efforts on your eyes watching him with a clear vision. Donghyuck sees you are listening now and he clears his mind as he asked the final question.

“Do you still love a Lowlife like me?”

You see him waiting for your answer as if his life depends on it and now you give him a slow nod. You didn’t change your mind on Donghyuck, and now that he even reveals he left you because of his deep feelings for you, it makes your heart flutter. He was horrible all along to make sure you never knew how he feels. But little further in the end he was the one falling for you even more.

“Yes…” you say with your voice. Donghyuck’s ears perk up as you answer him vocally too and he leans closer kissing your lips only for a short moment before pulling away. He held on to your thighs you wrapped around his body.

He loves the taste of you, who seems to be a biggest Lowlife he knows now, for loving him all along too.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu! Follow me for more updates it helps a girl out. <3

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yxami · 1 year

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Idea of a yandere who is bullied by his darling, a sadistic reader. The reasons why the yandere enjoys being mistreated by his darling, is bc he’s masochist and obviously, a yandere crazy of love for the reader :3

The yandere it’s soo delusional, like, reader pushes him hard in the school hallways, and he thinks it's because reader accidentally bumped into him, and ofc, he gets to shake like a maniac from the interaction with his beautiful (she’s not. Is a fucking bully with everyone on the school) and perfect darling.

I want a really toxic reader so badly!! A reader who abuses, manipulates, and mistreats. There is no apparent reason for her sadism, the reader is that kind of person who was born violent.

I love that you made your request long! This idea is adorable I couldn’t help but make the writing a lot about his little delusion’s. If he becomes an oc I’m planning to call him Caleb but if anyone has a better sounding name then feel free to say it in my inbox!

Description: yandere masochist x female reader, heavy delusion, bullying, yandere themes, abusive themes, manipulation, insults, lots of cursing if anyone’s wondering, etc etc.

You always knew you were someone who struggled with anger. You made no effort to fix yourself, why did it matter? If someone told you that you were rude as hell and you were going to end up alone you’d grace them a punch to the face and flip them off telling them they were fucking stupid.

Sure you had a lot of issues even more than anger ones but if you couldn’t care less about your anger then why would you care about the rest? It’s others who have to fix themselves to fit your standards!

Nobody had the confidence nor heroic traits to stop you for what you do. So you just terrorized the school without consequences. Teachers would say something every now and then but your father was the biggest donor to the school’s funds so they kept quiet.

Living that plush spoiled life didn’t help with your attitude. You were never taught that it was wrong so why does it matter?

“It matters because you’re out of fucking line! Jesus, you’ve been picking on that kid for a month!” A friend of yours was now retaliating against you for bullying a kid who practically asked for it.

“Oh shove your guilt up your ass, you’re acting like you didn’t bully the shit out of that kid too!” You pushed your friend, agitating them further.

“Tch, whatever. When you’re rotting alone, you’ll see how fucked up you are” Your friend stormed off, nobody caring enough to see the loud bickering that had just ended.

“Stupid bitch, acting all morally now” You cursed under your breath. You spotted two pathetically familiar eyes that you would always find landed on you.

You had to let out your anger somehow. You charged towards him and he held his books close to him but didn’t say anything nor flee, he never did.

You were coming up to him! Were you gonna ask for homework answers! You were so cute when you were stubborn about getting them! Sometimes you would get a little irritated so you would slam him against lockers. He loved when you did that, he loved every inch of attention he got from you. You must’ve known he loves when you slam him against something in a loving way!

“The hell are you looking at?” You grabbed the collar of his shirt pinning him against the cold metal lockers. He was probably the most fucking annoying and relieving person to go to when you were angry. A little doll that you could treat however you wanted and would never leave the confinements of your desired place for it.

“N-nothing!” He tried to cover the blush on his face. He was so embarrassed you were so close! You must want to be more affectionate with him! It’s been about a month since you started focusing your attention onto him! You must be ready for the next step, he was just so worried he wouldn’t be able handle it!

“You sure? Cause I saw you staring at me and my friend. Do you have something to say?” Your icey cold glare was scanning the intent behind this stupidly submissive classmate.

“J-just.. uhm.. I—“

“Speak up, stop stuttering like an idiot” You held onto his shirt tighter and pulled him closer to you. He seemed even more scared from what you saw. If only you saw that he was sweating and blushing under your warm touch! His thighs felt like jello under your influence!

The bell rung and all students had returned to their proper classrooms. All but you and your unfortunate victim. Time passed slowly in his eyes, his books had already fallen out of his hands, all that was needed was for him to speak.

“I just noticed that the two of you were arguing! That’s all” He managed to ramble his words out before you let go of his collar. He was much more relaxed without you so close to his face. He probably wouldn’t be able to handle another second of your touch!

“That’s none of your fucking business, so stop eyeing me like some stalker.” You poked in the middle of his chest, emphasizing your words that clearly told him to fuck off. You would never want your favorite victim to actually go away though, then who would you tease and torment when you were bored!

He was so happy you insisted you didn’t need his supervision! You were always an independent woman! He was just watching because he was annoyed about that friend having the audacity to speak out against you! He was obviously going to always stalk and watch you but you didn’t have to know even if you asked him not to!

“O-okay! I’m so happy that you noticed me! You haven’t said anything to me all day so I was worried.. that you were mad at me!” He laughed off his worries. He honestly thought you were ignoring him! He frowned at the idea earlier once it popped up in his head. But look at you! Talking to him and touching him… He was so silly for thinking that.

“You’re so creepy and stupid, you’ll never understand what I’m doing to you, huh?” It wasn’t a rhetorical question, you wanted an answer, and you knew you were going to get one.

He knew you were upset because of the homework answer he gave you! He didn’t do well because he was too distracted with your beautiful stare on him while he worked on it.

“You’re so pretty when you scold me! I promise I’ll further my studies so you’re impressed! I know the C I got on the homework assignment wasn’t good but it was because—“

“I’m not talking about the homework! I’m talking about me bullying you. Are you dumb or just deaf?” You grabbed his shirt again, pulling him closer. You relished in his reaction, finding it funny.

“I don’t mind! I love you and I don’t care how you treat me!” He fawned over how close your face was. He felt his cheeks warm up and he couldn’t help but squirm a bit.

“Really? Would you do anything for me?” You leaned towards him and let go of his shirt. His back pressed against the lockers and his blush grew.

“Yeah! Anything!” It was like god himself blessed him knowing that he would love to prove his love for you by granting you anything you wanted. No matter if it meant getting his hands dirty.

Your question was nerve racking though! Were you going to initiate something? Right here?! That’d be so embarrassing for his first time to happen in a school hallway but he would do that for you! Even if it was crazy, he was crazier after all!

“Tch, yeah right. Fucking idiot” You mumbled pushing him aside and walking off in the opposite direction to your class. You’d probably get scolded by your dad for being tardy since your teacher couldn’t be bothered to do that.

You decided to cut the bullying short because of that. Maybe you’d ask him to run some errands for you tomorrow, even though you had butlers for that. It was much more enjoyable to see his frantic face.

His hands caught his fall as he was pushed aggressively by you. His heart was beating out of his chest, soaking in all of the events that just happened. His eyes did not waver and were pinned against your disappearing figure.

He loved you so much it hurt to see you walk away, but god was it amazing to sense that feeling after you’ve pushed and insulted him. He could feel a tent pitch up in his pants. He had to deal with this since you weren’t quite ready to bless him with help.

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #gn reader #male yandere #delusional #delusional yandere #yandere delusions #bully reader #yandere masochist #yandere scenarios #pls request #yandere imagines #manipulation #female reader #fem reader #calebmyoc

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megu-nya · 1 year

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★·.·´ I'M CRAZY BUT YOU LIKE THAT `·.·★

★ ¦ ft: kenyu yukimiya :: shoei barou

★ ¦ tw: nsfw :: gn!reader :: brat tamer!character x brat!reader :: sadist x masochist :: spanking :: master kink :: face fucking :: face slap

★·.·´ KENYU YUKIMIYA `·.·★

"Ken-chan, I'm sorry! Ah!", you screamed at the top of your lungs, another harsh slap landing onto your buttocks, another red hand print adorning your skin. "You know how to address me, love", he said, his voice and demeanour calm as ever, never faltering. An immense aura engulfed him, indescribable, making your arousal pool into your underwear and staining it, a wet patch forming. "I'm sorry, master!", you spat as another slap landed on your ass. "Now that's better", he purred, his eyes glimmering dangerously in the dimly lit room.

"Now tell me darling, why am I doing this to you?", he asked, fully knowing the reason behind your punishment but wanting to hear it out of your mouth. This was his way to degrade you. Spanking you while you had to tell him what you did wrong.

"Because I - ah! because I disobeyed master! He told me to - ah! told me to wait patiently for him and not- and not to touch myself!", you tried to say in between cries out of pain, another three slaps finding its way onto your sensitive skin. "Mhm, that's right", Kenyu said, stroking your buttcheek before giving it another spank.

Some time passed by of him not saying a word but his spanks talked for him. The more pain you received the fuzzier your mind got. The mix of pleasure and pain hazing all of your senses. You were the embodiment of no thoughts, head empty. As much as it hurt you didn't want him to stop. No. In fact you wanted him to keep going. You wanted him to punish you even more.

You whined when his spanks took an end, hand now stroking over the expanse of your back, over your cheeks and onto your thighs, ever so lightly grazing the part that desired his touch the most, a fuse in your head had been blown when you spoke. "Please master! Please punish me more! Need to feel the pain! Please!", you begged, not wanting him to stop. A chuckle escaped your boyfriends mouth. He now had you exactly where he wanted to have you.

★·.·´ SHOEI BAROU `·.·★

"Kneel down for your king", he said, a dangerous aura looming over him, a spark of carnal desire grazing his red eyes, the darkness and ferity making your sex twitch and throb with lust and desire, mouth watering the sight of his thick dick hitting his stomach when he removed his undergarments. "I said-KNEEL!", he growled, one hand landing on your should and pushing you down, making you fall off your feet and land on the floor with a thud.

You looked up and watch as his shadow hovered over you. You knew he was bigger than you but right now he seemed gigantic, and not only because he's hung like a horse. Shoei watched your startled expression, noticing a hint of fear when he grabbed your face, fingers squishing your cheeks harshly as he brought you closer to his throbbing dick, the scent of arousal and pure testosterone making your mind go fuzzy.

With his thumb he urged your mouth to open, not even giving you the space to swallow, drool soon dripping out of your mouth and down your chin, falling right onto the floor. A tch escaped him at the sight of it. "You really dare to make a mess? Now, at all of times? You are brave. Or rather stupid. Think I should plug that filthy mouth of yours", he said, ramming his dick into your mouth without a warning, making you gag around him when his tip hit the back of your throat.

But your struggles to fully take him didn't make him stop, no, the opposite, it made him keep going, made him increase the pace he was face fucking you, balls slapping against your chin with every thrust, filling your mouth to the brim and even further. A pleased groan left his lips when he saw tears building up at the corner of your eyes, starting to roll down your cheeks as well as drool dropping onto the floor.

"You're really good for nothing", he said, removing his dick from your mouth before a harsh slap of his hand landed on your face, making you whince in pain, your arousal only growing even more and pooling into your underwear and staining it. More degrading words left Shoei's mouth, making your head spin in ecstasy, unable to think straight. You didn't want him to stop. No. You wanted him to keep degrading and humiliating you like that, which he gladly will.

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distort-opia · 6 months

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Bruce is emotionally a masochist and sexually a sadist comfirmed 🤑😨😱????? Or both, hes batman he can do anything (except therapy)

Lol. You could put it that way, though I think it's a lot more complicated, and at the end of the day, ambiguous. There's multiple ways to interpret this side of Bruce, but while I agree that sadism is easy to see in his actions, masochism is more complicated. Thing is, if Bruce liked pain (emotional or otherwise)... he would probably avoid it.

To Bruce it isn't about what makes him happy, or feel good. The things he puts himself through, the pain he seeks out, are a form of self-punishment (a major function of being Batman in and of itself). The reasons are easily apparent: survivor's guilt, being helpless and unable to save his parents from being killed, thinking of himself as never enough and his body as an instrument only. As Batman, Bruce doesn't even register pain as a limitation or an obstacle, so a lot of the time it isn't that he looks for it... it's just that he doesn't care if it hurts, as long as he achieves his goals. After all, why would it matter that he's hurting, when he doesn't matter as much as the Mission? His Vow, saving others and forever compensating for a loss he couldn't stop, is more important than his own wellbeing and comfort, both on a physical and emotional level.

Put simply, pain is something he feels he deserves for failing. And in so many ways, pain is what fuels Batman; to quote King, he's an "engine that turns pain into hope". But the issue is that, to maintain the status quo, he cannot be anything else, and the engine needs feeding. It needs fresh pain, which is what Bruce keeps providing.

However, it's really hard to draw the line. If you do something like this for so long, if you make doling out pain and suffering pain an integral part of your life and identity, if it's so familiar it becomes a comfort... is that enjoyment? Is that emotional masochism? I just remembered I had a similar discussion before (link here), with some people making very valid and interesting points-- both about Bruce being masochistic, and not. And recently, @psalmsofpsychosis posted a fascinating meta and then web weave about Bruce's relationship to pain (and Joker, who tortures him the most) that got me thinking and rethinking these aspects again (link here). She pointed out that emotionally, Bruce might equate love to pain because the moment he felt the most love was also the moment he was destroyed by grief; when he lost his parents, the people he loved most. God, do check out the post because it does drive me crazy. "Whenever he experiences pain he feels capable of love." @psalmsofpsychosis I'm outside your house, come out, I just wanna talk--

#this fucking GUY #asks #batman #bruce wayne #bruce wayne meta #batjokes #-ish?

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mrsshabana · 7 months

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“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 ~”

𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟖: 𝐒&𝐌

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary At first, you were just another meal to him. But when he hurt you, you didn't beg for him to stop, you actually liked it. Maybe he could have some fun with you before he makes you his next meal. If you can handle it. ꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, 18+ MDNI, Sadist!Gyutaro, Masochist!Reader, violence, blood, gore, rough sex, vaginal sex, creampie. ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.3k words

✧:･ﾟ→ Kinktober Masterlist

The only reason he chose you was because you were pretty. Jealousy filled his veins when he laid his eyes upon your beautiful visage. He would make you pay, make you suffer by his hands.

He swiftly plucked you from the crowd and took you back to his underground lair where he and his sister eat their prey. Stripping you of your clothes so he can feast on your flesh. You kicked and screamed just like the others, you weren’t special. At least not until he sunk his teeth into your skin. He wanted to make it slow and painful, slowly sinking his teeth into your neck as he holds you down.

A soft, pleasured whimper escapes your lips when his fangs tear into your skin. Never has he seen a human react that way. It makes his eyes go wide and he has to pull away to look at you. Is this really happening right now? You should be crying and begging for your life. But here you are, deriving pleasure from the pain he inflicts upon you.

He looks down at your flustered face. You quickly turn your head to the side to avoid his gaze, ashamed that he just heard you moan.

A devilish smirk appears on his face as he roughly grabs you by the hair and pulls your head up, “You like this don’t you?”

You can’t muster the courage to respond to him, only moaning and blushing more from his rough treatment of you.

“How disgraceful,” he growls, “You should be begging for your life. But here you are, enjoying being tossed around by a demon of all things!”

Out of nowhere, he cups your pussy in his other hand, “And already wet too. Don’t think I couldn’t smell your arousal when I bit you, sweetheart.” He collects your slick on his fingers and brings it up to his mouth. Groaning as he savors your taste.

“Guess I could have a bit of fun with you,” he rasps, “Then get rid of you when I’m done.”

You know you should be afraid right now, your life is literally in this man's hands and he hasn’t shown any intention of letting you walk away alive. But yet you still can’t help but feel some kind of twisted attraction towards the demon. His sadistic personality makes your knees weak, and not to mention his appearance. He looks like a monster, but that only turns you on more. Especially when he glares at you with those yellow eyes and smirks with those sharp teeth.

“F-feels good,” you stutter, speaking quietly. Too ashamed to admit to him that you do indeed like what he’s doing to you.

“You like it when I hurt you?” he grabs your thigh, slowly sinking his nails into your flesh, “What a fun human you are ~”

“ Ahhh ,” you whimper in satisfaction as blood rolls down your thigh.

He leans down and licks the blood from your leg, “Mm… taste so sweet too. Might lose control and devour you while I’m fucking you. I bet you’d like that huh?”

You nod shyly and open your legs, a clear invitation. If you’re going to get eaten alive, then you might as well go out with a bang.

His erection is already straining at the front of his pants, you can clearly see that he’s big too. But that only makes you more excited.

His eyebrow twitches as he looks down at your soaking cunt, it looks so inviting. “ Fuck ,” he mutters under his breath as he pulls down his pants. His hefty cock springing free, the length and girth of it will be sure to hurt you in more ways than one.

He grabs you by the hips and flips you onto your stomach, “Get on your hands and knees. Now,” he commands.

Your legs shake with anticipation as you get into the position for him, exposing everything to his predatory gaze.

“That’s it.” He grabs your ass with his left hand, and forcefully slaps it with his right.

You squeal at the sudden pain, and the sting of his hand is left on your skin. A red mark immediately forming, bringing a smile to his face.

And without warning he shoves his cock into your entrance, sending a surge of pain through you as he forces himself inside. Literally tearing you to accommodate him. It makes his immediate thrusts even more painful, but that is the whole reason he’s doing it after all.

“ Fuuuuck you’re so tight,” he groans, slapping your ass again as he continues at a rough pace.

“ Ah-aaahh! S-slow down please,” you beg. Partly because it really does hurt, but also because you know your begging will only make him go harder.

He leans forward, grabbing you by the hair and lifting your face. He lowers his face beside yours and looks at you from the corner of his eyes. “Gyutaro,” he grunts, “Scream it. Now."

He punctuates his command with a violent thrust, ramming into your cervix.

“ G-Gyutaro! ” you scream.

“ Ngh - That’s it. Good girl,” he coos. Letting go of your hair and moving his hands to cup your breasts. His nails dig into the fat of your chest while he holds you against him, thrusting deep inside of you.

The pain is overwhelming and your vision is blurred by the tears flooding your eyes. Every part of you hurts. Your neck where he bit you, your thighs, your ass, your scalp, your now bleeding breasts, and worst of all your cunt.

His hands are covered in blood and so are yours. You don’t know where it all came from, but there is a pool of blood beneath you, soaking your palms as you hold yourself up.

The pain feels so good. And he loves administering it.

You don’t know if it’s from the overwhelming pain or from the blood loss, but you’re starting to feel light headed. And it doesn’t help that he keeps hitting your sweet spot with every thrust of his hips. Not to mention how hard his bony pelvis slams into the flesh of your ass, surely to leave a bruise. But that’s the least of your worries.

“ G-Gyu… ta-tarooo ,” you moan desperately, as you begin to lose your balance and everything starts to blur.

“Stop whining, you pathetic girl,” he growls, his thrusts becoming animalistic.

Looking down at you, he can see that you’re struggling to hold yourself up. So with a sadistic chuckle, he grabs your wrists and pulls them behind you, keeping you held up.

“Can’t even hold yourself up? You’ll be punished for that.” His lips curl into a twisted smile, showing off his bloody teeth. He moves your right hand up to his mouth, and bites off your index finger. Promptly chewing through the bone and swallowing it.

The combination of pleasure and pain is far too much for you. “ Gyutaro! ” You scream his name at the top of your lungs and cum all over him. Your tight walls squeezing him as your body shakes. The combined sensations are too much for you to handle and everything goes black.

Your body goes completely limp and Gyutaro continues fucking you at a rough pace. Until he finally spills inside of you, groaning as he’s filled with ecstasy. Painting your insides white as he shoots thick ropes of his semen.

Finally, when his orgasm has subsided he lets go of your arms and you collapse on the ground.

“Human?” he asks as he pulls out of you and lifts your head to get a look at your face. “Oh… she’s passed out.”

Blood drips down his chin as he grins sadistically, getting an idea.

“I could just let you bleed out,” he chuckles, “ Or , I could turn you into a demon and we could have more fun. Then I could be as rough as I like.”

He looks down at your blood covered body as he thinks about it.

Gyutaro brings out his sickles and cuts his wrist, hovering it over your face and letting his blood drip into your mouth.

“This is going to be so much fun.”

#gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #gyuutarou #gyuutarou x reader #gyutaro smut #kny smut #demon slayer smut #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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ghouljams · 13 days

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i’m literally foaming at the mouth of the thought of Soap over Price’s knee. i feel faint, ill. you literally only have god tier takes

It's tricky because Price uses it as a reward more than a punishment. He tries it as a punishment once and Soap comes all over his fatigues. Price doesn't need to try a second time to know by the glassy look in his Sergeant's eye that the man is a masochist. Which is great because Price is a bit of a sadist... Calls Johnny into his office whenever he needs to relieve some stress, and Soap's done something particularly good, and tell him to lock the door as soon as Soap enters. Which Soap does, good little soldier that he is, already starting to get hard as he turns back to look at Price. Price pushes back from his desk, spreads his legs wide and pats his thigh.

It's a nice little ritual for the two of them. Soap settles himself over Price's lap, makes himself comfortable on his Captain's thick thighs, and lets Price slide his hand over the curve of his ass before he's roughly pulling his fatigues down. The rougher the better, if his belt pinches and it gets Price frustrated then good. Soap always tries to make it harder for him, so that when Price swears and finally gets the fabric bunched around his thighs the first slap is hard and stinging.

Never makes him count, just goes until it feels right. Broad hand snapping against Soap's skin, making sure he can feel every callous and scar, watching the Scot's skin start to turn red and his breathing growing heavy. Soap gets the full sting of Price's hand, no holding back, no softness, and Price packs a punch. The man is strong, his age hasn't aged him, and he puts the same blinding pain into every smack. He's quick about it too, and accurate. Price hits the same spot over and over, hits right at the crease of Soap's thighs, so that he can feel it when he pulls his pants up and walks out of the office.

And Soap. Oh Soap enjoys every lash, really he'd rather Price use his belt, but that's for leave. Soap flinches from the first five spanks, but after that, his body relaxes, and each sharp smack just sinks him lower and lower into that heady state. He drools on Price's thigh, his cock twitches and leaks against Price's pants, his eyes roll and he grinds his aching cock against his superior's thigh. They go until Price is ready to stop, and by then there's a significant wet spot on his pant leg.

It doesn't matter. Price pushes them down as soon as Soap is off his lap, pinning his sergeant to the desk and helping him shuck his pants. For all his brattiness, Soap is a very good boy preps himself well before he visits Price so that the man can slide his fat cock against his hole and push right in. And Price may not be as big as Ghost is, but that doesn't mean he doesn't stretch Soap out and fill him to the brim. Sinking his cock into his ass while Soap wraps his legs around Price's waist, tries to steady himself with the edge of the desk digging in to his poor abused thighs.

"You been a good boy for me?" Price asks, slapping Soap across the cheek when he nods his head, grabbing his face in one big hand. Soap opens his mouth to let Price spit on his tongue, lets the excess fluid drip onto the fingers pinching his cheeks together. "Course ya have been, no screw ups all week. Deserve this don'cha?" Another nod, another fat glob of spit on Soap's waiting tongue. The man moans, delirious with pain and pleasure as Price snaps his hips against him. Harsh thrusts without time to adjust. Masochist and Sadist rushing at each other like waves against a rocky shore.

Price gets to fuck his frustrations out, gets to fuck Soap like he's the reason the budget requests get sent back, and the personnel transfers are tied up in red tape. Soap gets the pant and whine like an animal, gets to be fucked so good it hurts and keeps hurting, gets a dry hand wrapped around his leaking cock, stroking him with a too tight fist so that he clenches tighter around Price and comes. So he milks his captain dry with tears streaming down his face. So Price can lick each salty trail off his cheek and murmur what a fucking whore he is.

Soap gets to sit on his knees next to Price's chair and get gentle fingers pet through his mohawk, while Price calls for Gaz or Ghost to come collect him before Price's meeting with Laswell takes a far too personal turn.

#soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #captain price mw2 #captain john price #captain price #john price #poly 141 #price x soap #soapprice #soap x price #mdni

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 1 year

Text

Love the Way You Lie (M)

This is the real part five to the Pathetic series

Summary:

After finding out that Jeonghan has been lying y/n is thrown into a state of emotional turmoil. All the while, Jeonghan's actions leave her more and more confused by the day.

Warning: Y/n is objectified a bit in a not-so-cute way by two people who aren't Jeonghan. Nothing really happens but just be warned.

Tags: 15k words, dub con for safety reasons, Porn with Plot, frat boy!Jeonghan, college student!y/n, best friend!Jeongyeon, soft!dom to hard!dom Jeonghan, mean!Jeonghan (and y/n loves it), submissive!y/n, female!y/n (sorry gender-neutral friends), heavy degradation, a lot of impact play in this one, masochist!y/n, sadist!Jeonghan, skull fucking, creampie, little bit of exhibitionism, little bit of cumplay, Jeonghan regains his aftercare crown

Part Five:

It turned out you were right. Thirteen boys couldn’t lie to you. Just one. You went to each and every boy in Alpha Mu. Random questions about random nights, and you realized that there was no reason for them to lie to you about this. They knew Jeonghan better than anyone other than you assumed his own family.

If Jeonghan was sleeping with other people and was willing to tell you about it than the others would know that. What they wouldn’t know was that Jeonghan would lie to you about sleeping with other people because that would be crazy.

You didn’t get it.

Why did he think that you would care about him sleeping with other people? You two weren’t exclusive. He had made that abundantly clear, and you had made it abundantly clear that you didn’t mind your arrangement.

You stared at your black television screen; your legs crossed on your couch. Your lips were pursed in thought but no matter how long you sat there it didn’t make any sense. Who the fuck would lie about that?

Thirty minutes into your silent pondering the front door opened. You didn’t look over, but you didn’t have to. Moments after the door closed you felt someone join you on the couch.

You and Jeongyeon were silent for a while.

“I...” Jeongyeon finally broke the silence. “I talked to Jimin.”

Your eyes widened and you looked over at her.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon replied. For a scary moment she was silent, just staring at the television like you had before. Then the smallest hint of a smile crossed her lips. “We’re going on a date. A proper date!”

Jeongyeon squealed, covering her face with her hand.

“I literally can’t believe it!” She exclaimed. “I mean... After all these years, I never thought...”

She trailed off shaking her head.

“You know, it was killing me not to tell you about how I was beginning to feel about Jimin. When I realized that I was looking forward to waking up next to him-”

“I could tell you wanted a relationship,” you agreed softly. “But with Jimin? I’d never imagined it.”

“He’s so nice y/n. It started off slowly, at first it was disgruntled kicking me out, both of us completely disgusted by what we had just done but as it kept happening... I looked forward to it. He started being nicer, gentler... I was happy to wake up next to him.”

You were happy for Jeongyeon- You really were, but as she was talking you were beginning to realize something. Your eyebrows furrowed uncertainly, and Jeongyeon seemed to notice. She frowned.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. Your eyes trailed down to your lap.

“I’m just... Confused.”

Jeongyeon reached forward, her hands taking yours.

“What about?” She prodded.

“Jeonghan.... Lied to me about sleeping with other girls.”

Pity crossed Jeongyeon’s eyes, and she squeezed your hands.

“Hey, look he isn’t worth shit if he’s going to cheat on you.”

“That’s the thing!” You emphasized. “We agreed that he could sleep with other people, remember? That never changed between us. I don’t care if he sleeps with other people. We’re fuck buddies! That’s what fuck buddies do when they aren’t exclusive.”

“Then why did he feel the need to lie to you?” Jeongyeon asked, her confusion matching your own.

“You don’t even understand yet- He didn’t lie telling me he wasn’t sleeping with other girls. He lied telling me he was sleeping with other girls.”

Jeongyeon pulled her hands away from yours, her mouth slightly ajar and her eyebrows scrunched together.

“What?” She blurted out.

“See, Yeongtae and I were talking, and he pointed out that Jeonghan is really possessive of me. Which I had noticed, and you know...”

“Hot,” Jeongyeon agreed. “That’s part of why I fell for Jimin. Another guy was flirting with me at a party and... Well...”

You nodded.

“Right, so he pointed out that he’s possessive but I kinda just thought it was a bit. Foreplay.” You paused. “And hatred for Yeongtae, of course.”

“Of course,” Jeongyeon agreed.

“But the longer I think about it. We don’t really act like fuck buddies.”

“How do you mean?” Jeongyeon asked.

“Like... I stay and eat breakfast with him, and the other Alpha Mu boys and he always makes sure I stay the night. Gives me better aftercare than anyone I’ve ever been with before. I helped him build a lego set the other day. That’s just. Friend behavior.”

“Friends with benefits behavior,” Jeongyeon pipped up. “But non-exclusive friends with benefits.”

“Right. Except that now I come to find out we are exclusive.”

You shook your head.

“Soonyoung told me that Jeonghan hasn’t slept with anyone since the second time that we fucked.”

“You don’t think... That he has feelings for you, do you?”

“I didn’t!” You insisted. “But now...?”

“The man who doesn’t sleep with anyone twice,” Jeongyeon said, her voice airy. “I mean if he actually is into you. What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know!” You replied. “I mean... He’s Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Yeah...” Jeongyeon agreed, a small cocky smile crossing her lips. “But he’s Yoon Jeonghan. Everyone is practically begging to date him. And if he’s willing to settle down for you? You’d be dumb not too.”

“You think?” You asked, your eyes looking away from her.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “And he’s really nice to you. He clearly cares for you in a way. Even if it isn’t actually those feelings yet.”

“This is stupid,” you said, immediately waving away the thought. “Now, I can’t explain Jeonghan’s behavior but there’s no way that he actually likes me.” You needed a conversation change. “Let’s focus on what we do know. You and Jimin!”

The smile grew back on Jeongyeon’s face.

“I hope that you can skip your morning class tomorrow because I could talk about this all night!” She exclaimed excitedly.

A smile cracked across your face.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“No y/n today?”

Jeonghan glanced up from his phone while he walked into the kitchen, finding only Seungcheol standing there, leaning against the counter.

“Hm? No.”

“Weird. She hasn’t been over in a few days. Have you been seeing her?”

“She’s busy,” Jeonghan replied. “Studying with Yeongtae.”

A small crack echoed through the small room. Both Jeonghan and Seungcheol looked at the now broken wooden chopstick in Jeonghan’s hand. He cleared his throat, setting the pieces on the table.

“Besides, we don’t need to hang out all the time. That’s not really what our relationship is.”

“Right,” Seungcheol said. He let silence fall between the two for a little bit and then: “You know, y/n called me the other night.”

Jeonghan perked up at the information, but it wasn’t in excitement.

“What? Why?”

“She asked me about what girls you were sleeping with.”

Jeonghan looked away from Seungcheol, cursing under his breath and burying his face in his hands.

“Fuck, why would she-” He groaned loudly. “And let me guess-”

“Why does she think that you are fucking other people? Aren’t you exclusive?”

“Technically, it’s one-sided. She’s made it very clear that she had agreed to not sleep with other people, but I was free to.”

Seungcheol’s confusion didn’t have to be outwardly expressed. Jeonghan could feel it.

“Who would-” He shook his head. “I’ve got to stop questioning the things that y/n lets you do to her. Just... So why would she care if you were sleeping with other people if she agreed to those terms?”

“Maybe because...” Jeonghan cleared his throat uncertainly, risking a look at his friend. “Perhaps I told her I was sleeping with other people.”

Seungcheol gave Jeonghan a blank stare.

“But you’re not.”

Jeonghan nodded.

“But I’m not.”

Seungcheol stared at Jeonghan silently, and then, after a few moments turned away from him, placing both of his hands on the kitchen counter and sighing heavily.

He began to mutter under his breath, but it wasn’t quiet enough for Jeonghan not to make out the: “How am I the one that is single in this house? I’m the only one with fucking-”

Seungcheol turned back around, forcing a smile on his lips.

“Why would you lie to y/n and tell her that you are sleeping with other people?”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Why does it matter?” Jeonghan demanded. “I’m allowed to lie to her if I want to. It’s a harmless lie.”

“It’s still a lie.”

Jeonghan exhaled loudly out of his nose.

“What does it matter?”

“Jeonghan, where do you see this thing with y/n going?”

“That’s a stupid question,” Jeonghan said.

Seungcheol walked over to the table, pulling out the chair next to Jeonghan and sitting in it. He fixed Jeonghan under a stern gaze.

“Do you like y/n?”

Jeonghan scoffed at first, his eyes turning away from Seungcheol.

“Do I like y/n? Jesus Seungcheol, do you know me at all?” He looked back at Seungcheol. “I’m Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol agreed. “Yoon Jeonghan who fucks everything that walks and unabashedly kicks them out every morning. Yoon Jeonghan who does not fuck anyone twice- Hell you barely interact with the people you’ve fucked before.”

Before Jeonghan could say anything Seungcheol continued:

“And then you sleep with y/n. You sleep with... What? Two girls after her and then it’s back to her. You’re so bipolar about this! The first night you slept with her you were definitely open to fucking her again, and then you got all aloof and then you slept with her a second time and all of a sudden you are saying we should get used to her-”

“That’s-”

“I’m not finished,” Seungcheol interrupted. “Don’t even get me started on your borderline obsession with Yeongtae. You think I don’t notice you asking about him to anyone who will listen? Your phone is open to his instragram page right now!”

“He’s a weird guy!” Jeonghan protested.

“You are jealous,” Seungcheol said. “You are jealous, and you miss her when she doesn’t come to parties, and you even let her mess with legos with you. You practically beg her to stay every morning.”

“What are you trying to say?” Jeonghan asked angrily, not afraid to express that this conversation was not one he wanted to be a part of. Seungcheol, however, was not fazed by his murderous tone.

“Just admit it!” Seungcheol replied. “I don’t have to tell you your feelings. You know what I’m trying to say.”

“I have nothing to admit.” The two of them were screaming at one another now. The top of their lungs, neither of them backing down.

“If y/n were to call you right now and tell you she was dating Yeongtae and wanted to cut things off, what would you do?”

“Nothing! We aren’t dating. She’s allowed to do what she wants. If she wants to date Yeongtae she can.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying!”

“You love y/n,” Seungcheol accused. “You love her and that’s why you hate when she hangs out with Yeongtae because while you two connect on a sexual level you are worried that you two won’t connect on a personal level, and Yeongtae and her do and you think that she’s going to leave you for him.”

“Shut up.”

“And if you keep this up? She will leave you,” Seungcheol said. “Are you really going to just let her slip away?”

“She’s not going to slip away!” Jeonghan hissed, slamming his hands down on the table. “You want the truth? Yes, I fucking love her. And I am jealous of her and Yeongtae. Why doesn’t she spend that time with me? I practically have to force her to have breakfast with us every day! She always has something else to do. I’m fucking Yoon Jeonghan why doesn’t she want me?”

Silence fell between the two, both of their chests heaving. They both stared at each other. Seungcheol looking pleased but also distressed for Jeonghan. As the two stood there, someone cleared their throat. Both boys turned to see that Seokmin was walking into the kitchen.

“What was that?” Seokmin asked. “Oh, yeah, my favorite way to wake up in the morning is to you two screaming about Jeonghan’s obvious feelings for y/n.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, and briskly scooted back his chair back, the sound screeching throughout the house.

“Fuck off.”

Jeonghan stormed out of the kitchen, brushing past Minghao as he walked.

“Good morning to you too,” he said softly.

Jeonghan completely ignored him.

“I’m going to get some air.”

And just like that, he stormed out of the house.

You were startled away from your homework by a sudden knock at your door. Your eyebrows furrowed and you glanced at your phone. It was early. Jeongyeon was at class. You weren’t expecting Yeongtae today.

You cracked open your door, and standing in the hall, red in the face and breathless was Jeonghan. Your eyes widened.

“Jeonghan-”

“Did you even check before opening the door? Anyone could have been out here.”

“I-”

Jeonghan raised his hand in front of your face.

“I’m not going to lie to you right now: I am fucking furious,” Jeonghan said. “I know it’s early, and we haven’t seen each other in a few days but this is your first chance to back out. What is our safe word?”

You were surprised but... Always down to be fucked by Jeonghan. You were quick to say your safe word, taking a step back into the room and pushing the door slightly open for Jeonghan. His jaw clenched at the clear invitation.

“If I come into that apartment-”

“Do whatever you want to,” you replied. You pushed aside the uncertainty in the pit of your stomach, completely ignoring the part of you that was desperate to know why Jeonghan had lied to you about sleeping with other girls. “I’m yours.”

Jeonghan was in the room with the door closed behind him in a blink of an eye. He locked the door and began to rip his shirt off of his body. You were momentarily distracted... God, Jeonghan was like a walking fucking Adonis but you were snapped back to reality by Jeonghan saying: “Don’t just fucking stand there. Get your clothes off.”

You quickly locked the door behind you and began to strip yourself of your clothes but you weren’t fast enough. Jeonghan pushed you roughly against the wall and dragged your shirt off of you. As soon as it was tossed aside his lips were pressed to yours.

Jeonghan’s hands were quick to unfasten your bra, and you let it fall off of your shoulders and onto the ground between you two. Jeonghan pulled away from you, narrowing his eyes at you.

“You remembered what I told you? That day in the bathroom?” He asked. You didn’t need him to elaborate.

“You said you’d remind me of how depraved I was,” you replied breathlessly. Jeonghan’s lips flickered into a smile.

“That’s one thing about you,” he murmured. “You are a good listener.”

He stepped away from you and as he walked back his eyes trailed over your body. You swallowed hard.

“Crawl,” Jeonghan said. It snapped your attention back to Jeonghan, your eyelids fluttering.

“What?”

“I said to crawl,” Jeonghan repeated. Your mouth fell open and you quickly dropped down to your hands and knees. Your face blazed in embarrassment as you began to crawl towards Jeonghan but it just made Jeonghan laugh, his head tilting to the side in what seemed to be adoration. “So good for me.”

When you got to his feet, he kneeled down in front of you, placing a single finger to your forehead.

“Have you been good recently?” He asked you. It felt like a trick question, and you had no clue what the answer was.

“… Yes?”

He slapped you, making you gasp in surprise. He stood up and began to walk backwards again.

“Crawl.”

You did as you were told, and as you followed him, he started to talk again.

“You haven’t been good recently. You know why?”

You shook your head quickly. He scoffed.

“Because I had to fuck you twice in two separate bathrooms,” Jeonghan replied, his voice sharp. “You haven’t been over, you haven’t invited me over and I had to settle for fucking you in bathrooms.”

He turned around.

“Where’s your room?” He asked. You cleared your throat.

“It’s uh, the last door on the right.”

Without another word Jeonghan walked down the hallway, disappearing into your room. You stayed there for a second, on your hands and knees, wondering what he wanted you to do. You decided to just keep crawling.

That ended up being the right decision. When you got to your room Jeonghan was sitting on your bed, his legs spread and his head rested on his arm. He looked annoyed.

“Taking your fucking time, aren’t you?” He mumbled.

“Sorry,” you murmured. You crawled all the way up to him, settling yourself between his legs. Once you had sat back on your feet Jeonghan’s hand was on your chin.

“Open your mouth,” he said. You opened it and he suddenly stuck two of his fingers in your mouth. Surprised by the action you gagged, your head dropping forward. Jeonghan chided you softly.

“If you can’t even handle my fingers, how could you possibly handle my cock?” he asked you, his voice high and mocking. Your eyes widened at the tone, his words going straight to your core.

“I can handle-“ You were interrupted by a slap, and this time Jeonghan grabbed your chin with it. He looked at you with hooded eyes.

“I didn’t say you could talk now did I?” He asked. You shook your head obediently. His lips curled up into a smile. “There’s my good girl.”

He turned his eyes away from yours as he went to rummage through his things. You frowned, unsure of what he was doing, but you were glad he looked away because your face was burning red at the compliment.

It was ridiculous how much a tiny bit of praise could really send you over the top when it came from Jeonghan.

“I want to propose something,” Jeonghan said. Your eyes darted to where he had just grabbed something. He flashed a camera at you.

“How do you feel about being a star?”

Realization flooded your body as you realized what he was asking. Your mind raced to come up with an answer. This wouldn’t be the most public thing that you would be letting Jeonghan do, but it would be the most permanent thing you let him do.

You had never before let a fling take a video of you or a picture of you in any intimate way. At least, not since you were able to make rational decisions and remembered that you really had to trust someone before sending them those kinds of pictures of yourself.

Your hesitance wasn’t missed in Jeonghan. He nodded and started to put his phone away.

“That’s okay you don’t need to-” You reached out suddenly, grabbing his wrist. His eyes widened slightly at the sudden touch. You quickly searched his eyes, your mind running fast to figure out what you wanted to say.

“No, I just had to think about it for a second,” you replied. “I trust you. Go ahead.”

You let go of his wrist.

“Why do you want it anyway?” You asked, your tone lightly. He searched your eyes for a second, and then tilted his head, raising the phone camera to his face.

“I want you to see what you look like when you’re groveling at my feet,” Jeonghan replied, his voice low. “You’ll see what a good little slut you are.”

As Jeonghan spoke one of his hands left his phone and he buried his fingers in your hair.

“What do you do when you want me to stop?” Your eyes had drifted to Jeonghan’s dick, your mouth, embarrassingly enough drooling at the sight of it. It had been such a long time since he had decided to use your mouth. “Y/n.”

He tugged your head up sharply, and your eyes darted up. You quickly thought back on his words while you had been distracted and raised your hand to his thigh, tapping it twice. You gave him an apologetic expression, but his expression didn’t change.

“You’ve been bad about listening to me recently,” he commented lightly. “You’re so used to reward, and so spoiled that you think you can act up.”

You wanted to argue with him but as soon as your eyes fluttered back down he was tugging your head up more.

“Keep your eyes on the camera,” he said sternly. “Now tell the camera: Have you been spoiled recently?”

Your eyes peered into the camera lens, your face surely dark from a combination of anticipation, lust, and slight embarrassment.

“I’ve been spoiled,” you agreed. Jeonghan hummed.

“You started taking my dick for granted, didn’t you?” You nodded your agreement, fighting the urge to look at Jeonghan. “You’re going to have to earn your orgasm today.”

You couldn’t help it, your eyes shot to Jeonghan in surprise, and as soon as they did you felt yourself get hit in the face. This time it wasn’t by his hands. Your eyes widened further when you realized that his hand had left your hair and was now wrapped around the base of his cock.

Heat rushed through your body when you realized that he had hit you with his cock.

Your eyes darted back to the camera.

“I’m sorry,” you said, you glanced back at Jeonghan. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be good.” And then your eyes returned to the camera.

A hum left Jeonghan’s mouth, but he didn’t dwell too much on the fact that you were having trouble listening. Deep in the back of your mind you thought that Jeonghan couldn’t blame you for being so distracted. You wanted to be good but how could you be good when it had been so long since Jeonghan had touched you like this?

As these thoughts ran through your mind, Jeonghan’s hand returned back to your hair.

“Mouth open,” he commanded. Your mouth dropped open and Jeonghan quickly pushed your head down on his cock. You choked a little at the sudden intrusion, feeling your gag reflex go off even as you tried to push away the feeling. Jeonghan scoffed.

“You can’t even take my dick the way you usually can,” he chided. “You are usually so good at not choking, is it too big for you love?”

Your face burned as you focused hard on breathing through your nose. You made sure to keep your eyes on the camera, feeling ease fall over you when you stopped feeling the need to gag after each and every thrust.

The longer Jeonghan forced your head up and down the length of his cock, the more his taunting tone turned airy. He stopped talking in favor of moans tumbling from his mouth, but his relentlessness did not end. He began to essentially fuck your face faster and faster the longer that he went.

“Your mouth is so wet and hot,” Jeonghan said gruffly. Your eyes flitted towards him only to find that his eyes were shut in pleasure. “It’s almost as good as your pussy.”

He moaned at the mere mention of your pussy.

“I’m not interested in foreplay today; I need to fucking destroy you. You better get yourself ready.”

Your eyes shot back to the camera, realizing that you probably did not have much time to get yourself ready. Your hand lowered to your pussy, which was, of course, dripping wet. You pushed two of your fingers right into yourself with ease, wasting no time in matching Jeonghan’s pace.

It was getting a lot harder to keep your focus on the camera as Jeonghan started to move your head up and down faster on his cock. You could feel his cock twitch inside of your mouth, and by the way that his fingers were tightening their grip in your hair you knew that Jeonghan was getting close to having his first orgasm of the night. You pushed a third finger into yourself quickly, ignoring the burn as you began to also suck on his cock more, hoping to bring him closer, faster, like you thought he wanted.

“I’m going to cum in your perfect little mouth, and I want you to capture all of the cum. I better not see a single drop spilled.”

You moaned around Jeonghan’s cock, excitement buzzing through your body as Jeonghan got closer to his orgasm. You only had to wait a few more pumps before Jeonghan’s cum started to fill your mouth. He pulled his cock out enough so that it was really just his tip in your mouth as he began to come.

“Don’t swallow it either.”

His hand left your hair, and then suddenly he pulled himself out of your mouth. You opened your mouth to protest but then a little bit of cum dripped from your mouth and you slammed it shut. Jeonghan didn’t seem to be bothered. He instead gave his cock a few pumps as he painted your face with the rest of his cum, and once he had finally stopped you got slapped hard.

“Didn’t I tell you not to get any cum on your face?” He snapped. Your eyes shot to his in apology but that apparently wasn’t the right move either. “And you’re not even looking at the camera.”

Your eyes shot back to the camera just in time for Jeonghan’s fingers to bury in your hair again and he forced your head back.

“Say thank you for the cum with it still in your mouth,” he commanded. You were quick to comply.

“Thank you for the cum,” you said.

“Louder.”

“Thank you for the cum,” you repeated, much louder this time. Jeonghan hummed, looking at you from behind the camera screen. After a few seconds of just staring at you he set the phone aside and pulled you up by the strands of your hair. He pushed you onto the bed, your ass sticking out over the edge and grabbed you by the hips to pull you up against his pelvis, pushing his cock into you without warning.

You cried out in surprise and more cum dripped out of your mouth, so you slammed your hand over it, feeling your already wet fingers smear his cum over your cheeks.

Jeonghan snickered.

“Trying so hard to be good now aren’t you?” He asked. “You scared you’re going to lose your orgasm?”

Jeonghan pushed deep into you, hard again without warning, jostling your whole body and making you fall awkwardly on your face. You quickly tried to steady yourself but then he pushed into you hard again and you found yourself back in the same position.

Jeonghan seemed to be annoyed by how you were jostling because he made a sound that resembled that of a growl and pushed your head down into the comforter.

“Stop moving.”

Now that you were steady under Jeonghan he began to really lose control. You hadn’t thought it was possible for Jeonghan to fuck you any harder than he had in the past but you had been ridiculously wrong. With each thrust you were fighting screaming, the only thing keeping you any semblance of quiet being the fact that he hadn’t told you yet that you could swallow the cum you were still holding in your mouth.

Jeonghan was bouncing your entire body with his thrust, your bed creaking with each movement. After a while of literally pounding you his hand left your head, and he grabbed you by your forearms. You were lifted off of the bed, your back arched as Jeonghan fucked himself even deeper inside of you.

“I want to hear you,” he snapped gruffly. You didn’t have to be told more than once. You opened your mouth, both loud moans and cum coming out of it as you did so. You ignored as the cum and spit soaked your chin, dripping down your body and onto the bed.

Jeonghan didn’t pay much mind to it at all either. In fact, his hands quickly switched their position so that he was holding you up by your throat.

His hands were cutting off your air circulation just enough that it was making pleasure swirl even more aggressively in your head.

Without any warning at all, you suddenly felt Jeonghan begin to come deep inside of you, his hips stuttering a little as he began to unload himself in you.

“Fuck, thank you Jeonghan. Thank you,” you cried out, earning yourself a slap.

“Shut up,” Jeonghan mumbled, but you could hear the smile in his voice as he said it.

You felt your own orgasm starting to come up but you desperately fought against it, recognizing that Jeonghan had not told you that you could cum yet.

Jeonghan didn’t stop fucking you even after he had finished coming inside of you. Instead, he briefly pulled out of you to flip you onto your back, and pushed right back into you. His cock somehow already hard again as he began to drill into you from there.

“Do you want to cum?” He asked you. You pressed your lips together and nodded eagerly. He hummed, his thumb running over your cum and spit-soaked chin. “Do you think you’ve earned it?”

Your body was burning, and him talking to you like this wasn’t making it any easier to hold off your orgasm, but regardless you had to be honest.

“No,” you admitted. “But I’ve been better than others haven’t I? I always take your cock just the way you want it, and I’m so good at taking your cum.”

Jeonghan nodded, his eyes flickering down to your lips.

“You like being my little cum dumpster? You like it when I fuck my cum deep inside of you?”

“Yes Jeonghan, fuck yes. I need it, I need your cum so badly,” you agreed, your tone getting lighter, more desperate. “I need you so badly Jeonghan, all the time. I want you to use me more.”

“Yeah? You like this way too much for the average person,” he chided. His fingers pinched at the corners of your mouth, forcing your jaw open. He spit in your mouth and then let go. You swallowed it without a second thought.

“Thank you,” you blurted out. Jeonghan’s head fell to the side.

“For what?” He asked, but as he did he lowered his hands to your waist, forcing himself into you faster.

“For everything,” you cried out. “For fucking me, for coming in me, for coming on me. For all of it. For your spit. Thank you.”

Jeonghan’s hips stuttered against you.

“Fuck, y/n,” he said, sounding absolutely wrecked. Suddenly he wrapped one of his arms around you, lifting you off the bed a bit so that he could bury his face in your neck while he fucked you. You felt him bite down on your neck, sucking a hickey into it just as his other hand pressed down on your clit.

“You can come you little slut. Come on my cock like a good girl.”

You didn’t have to be told more. You felt tears of relief began to roll down your cheeks as you finally let yourself come, your thighs shaking as Jeonghan came right after you. His thrusts not stopping until you felt so full that you thought you might explode.

Jeonghan held you in that position for a little while, his cock buried deep inside you as he busied himself marking up your neck again, but after a few minutes he flipped you both over, sliding his cock out of you.

Your chest heaved against Jeonghan’s and you buried your face in his chest in pure exhaustion. You heard him sigh, his fingers making their way into your hair. He combed through it gently.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, his voice so quiet you almost couldn’t hear him. You looked up at him, confusion riddled over your clearly messy and red face. A flicker of a smile crossed Jeonghan’s lips at his handiwork, but it was replaced quickly by a solemn look that matched his apology.

“For what?” You asked. “You heard me thank you for everything earlier.”

You laughed softly and pressed your head back against his hand.

“You know I like it just as much as you do.”

“It’s not that,” Jeonghan replied. He looked troubled, and serious. “I’m sorry for taking my anger out on you... I shouldn’t do that. I won’t make a habit of it.”

“I don’t personally mind,” you commented with a shrug. “Take your anger out on me all you want if it makes you feel better.”

Jeonghan was still staring at you.

“Did it make you feel better?”

Jeonghan sighed, finally his eyes flickering away from you.

“I think it made it worse.”

You wanted to scream at Jeonghan. Mostly for being confusing. You were thinking of how to bring up the fact you knew he was lying about sleeping with other girls but every communication technique that you could use just fell flat in your mind. Start, stop, continue... NVC?

I feel confused because you told me you were sleeping with other people when you weren’t and I would like to talk to you about why you felt like you had to do that.

Not only were you not sure if that was formed right, but it would also be stupid to bring up in any normal context.

… Stupid Micah Salaberrios...

So instead of using your engrained knowledge of healthy proper communication you fell back on the easier option.

“You’ve never been in my place before. Do you like it?”

Jeonghan hummed and pulled away from you, sitting up. You whined as you fell into your comforter which made Jeonghan laugh. His fingers tightened in your hair again and he dragged you up with him.

“Dick...” You mumbled. Jeonghan snorted and you propped yourself up in your bed.

“You certainly have a lot of posters of men on your walls,” he observed, gesturing to the kpop posters you had scattered across your room. It just amused you.

“Jealous?”

“Hardly. I doubt you would be groveling on your knees for them, begging to be hit and used like a pretty little fuck toy.”

Your face reddened a bit.

“You would be surprised. I don’t know if I would be able to choose if my choices lied between you and Taeyoung.”

Jeonghan clearly didn’t like where the conversation was going as he gave you a stern look.

“You really want me to put you in your place all over again? Remind you what your only real use is?” He demanded.

You swallowed, surprised (and disappointed) by his lack of physical touch to match the threat. You kind of did want him to put you in your place all over again.

“No,” you mumbled. It was small. You clearly wanted more but Jeonghan played dumb. He patted your head.

“Where’s your shower?”

There he was again. That gentle Jeonghan that came after being railed and treated like you were nothing at all.

“Down the hall. On the left.”

Jeonghan stood up, stretch as soon as he was out of your bed and then scooped down to pick you up. You yelped in surprise but were in zero shape to fight back.

“I don’t always have to shower right after we fuck,” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck. You couldn’t help an intrusive thought from escaping as well: “Why do you care so much about after care anyways?”

Jeonghan scoffed, and it vibrated through his body.

“What kind of emotional damage would I be leaving on you if I called you worthless and hit you and then just… left?”

You shrugged.

“What does it matter?” You asked. “I’m just a fuck toy.”

Jeonghan paused at the statement, his face scrunching in concentration for a moment. He looked like he really wanted to address your words but for some reason couldn’t figure out a way to. You didn’t understand why those choice words were bothering him. Even if he wasn’t sleeping with other people, they were objectively true.

“You’re not just a fuck toy,” Jeonghan finally said. “You are my fuck toy, but that’s not all you are.”

You opened your mouth to negate Jeonghan’s statement but before you could he was talking again.

“I’m going to start your shower.”

If his purpose was to derail the conversation by causing you additional frustration he had done the perfect job. You groaned, successfully rolling out of Jeonghan’s arms and back on your bed. You buried your face in your bed sheets. He didn’t seem put off by your show.

“I’ll shower first but you have to shower too,” he stated. “I don’t know why you are such a brat about showers. You’re so obedient for me otherwise.”

You waited for him to say more but when he didn’t you sat up and found that he wasn’t there anymore. You sighed. How unproductive.

Your mind turned to Jeonghan in the shower, and you realized that you didn’t actually have anything for him to wear. You knew that your clothes wouldn’t fit him so you raced to come up with anything else and then remembered that you had some clothes that one of your old flings had left once before.

You got out of bed and walked over to your closet, getting on top of a chair so that you could grab them from the top corner.

You gave them a test sniff, and found that they just smelled like your laundry detergent.

Along with those, you walked over to the hallway closet grabbing a fresh towel.

True to his word Jeonghan was still in the shower when you pushed into the bathroom.

“I brought you a towel,” you mumbled. “And some clothes.”

Jeonghan peeked around the shower curtain, frowning.

“I don’t think I’ll fit into your clothes love,” he stated. Your heart fluttered at his words. Love.

“They’re men’s clothes,” you replied. “I think they’ll fit you. You’re about the same height as…” Suddenly your thoughts turned to the other day at the library. Your lips pressed together. “Uh-”

At first Jeonghan just looked confused, but that confusion faded into understanding when he realized what you had been about to say. His head tilted and his expression became harder.

“About the same height as who?” He pressed. You kept your lips pressed together, unwilling to say a word. You just shook your head. He pushed aside the shower curtain and took the clothes from your hands tossing them on the floor.

Before you had come in here you had put a shirt on so that you weren’t walking around completely naked, but Jeonghan wrapped his arm around you, dipping under the shirt and coming down hard on your ass. You yelped and he pulled you close to him, the water from the shower coming off of him and onto your shirt.

“Whose clothes are on the floor of your bathroom y/n?” Jeonghan asked you. Your lips pressed together and again just shook your head. He slapped your ass again: “It’s not like you to be bad. You must be really scared.”

There was a hint of amusement in his voice. You cleared your throat.

“They’re just a friends-” Jeonghan hit your ass again. “Okay, it was a flings’. But it’s been months since I’ve even talked to him.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrow rose slightly.

“Then why are you so nervous?” He mumbled. Your eyes flickered to his.

“You have a bit of a jealous streak.”

Jeonghan laughed and looked like he wanted to negate what you said but before he could you flicked your head in the direction of the discarded clothes. He pressed his lips together.

“Okay… Maybe you have a point,” he relinquished. He looked back at you and shrugged. “Thanks for the clothes. Your turn.”

When you got out of the shower, you found Jeonghan in your kitchen in the clothes you had left for him. He looked annoyed and you didn’t have to look at him long to figure out why. He looked at you.

“Why do you even still have these?” He asked you. He pulled at the collar of his shirt in aggravation.

“I thought maybe Yujun would want them back.”

Jeonghan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Does it still smell like him?” He asked. “Don’t men’s clothes smell like them for a really long time?”

“Jeonghan don’t be stupid-”

“You can keep the clothes I wore over here,” he interrupted you. He gestured to what he was currently wearing. “I’m burning this.”

You rolled your eyes, but honestly, you thought it was a little cute. Even if this just made you even more confused on what Jeonghan saw you as. You wandered over to the kitchen island, taking a seat at one of the chairs. You rested your head on your hand.

“What are you doing in my kitchen anyways?” You asked. Jeonghan hummed.

“I thought it was about time you tried my cooking.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise.

“What?” You asked. Jeonghan walked over to your pantry, pulling out a box of pasta. He looked at the box.

“I love pasta,” he mumbled, but it seemed like it was mostly to himself. He set the box on the counter and then looked in your fridge. He paused for a second as he looked at the contents. He then reached in and grabbed out a few things. Spinach, heavy cream, milk, cheese. You were surprised you had so many fresh ingredients.

He closed the fridge door behind him. You frowned slightly.

“Have you ever made pasta before?” You asked, your mind flickering to the fact that Jeonghan had evaded answering if he was a good cook or not. You thought that if someone were good as cooking they would brag about it. Like Mingyu did everytime you were over.

“I’ve seen Mingyu make pasta before,” Jeonghan replied, focused on getting out the things he needed for the dish. “How hard can it be?”

You had never seen anyone mess up anything as bad as Jeonghan messed up cooking pasta. You watched as he didn’t stir the pasta as it boiled, he burned the milk by turning the heat up too high, and on top of all that he set one of your kitchen towels on fire.

To be completely fair, you were pretty sure that the Alpha Mu house had electric stoves, not gas ones but regardless, it wasn’t what you had expected at all when he first started measuring out the ingredients to make the pasta sauce.

“When you said that I would find out if you were good at cooking or not-”

Jeonghan shut you up by lightly putting his hand in your face and pushing you to the side. You stumbled a little and shot him a glare.

“Hey! You about burned my apartment down!” You protested. Jeonghan had taken a seat at your kitchen island while you started to clean up after him. He had the audacity to be sitting there with a sad look on his face. As if something you had done was the reason that he couldn’t eat.

“I just wanted pasta,” he replied, his head rested on his arms that were on the counter.

“If you were that bad at cooking why didn’t you just ask me to make you something?” You demanded. Jeonghan still held that pathetic look on his face, as if he was a child being scolded.

“Do you know how to make pasta?” He asked you. You huffed loudly out of your mouth.

“You’re so weird Jeonghan,” you mumbled. “Of course, I know how to make pasta. All you have to do is boil some water and heat some milk and heavy whipping cream.”

You put the lid on your pot as you dumped the water out of the overcooked pasta.

“It’s not really aftercare if you do the cooking,” Jeonghan continued, that whine still in his voice. You rolled your eyes.

“That’s not true. Maybe it’s aftercare from me to you,” you replied. “You make me shower. I’ll cook you food.”

Jeonghan was silent for so long that it worried you. You dumped the pasta out into your trash can and then looked up at him. He was watching you closely, the pout that had been on his face was gone now. When he realized that you were looking at him, he let his eyes flutter closed.

“Okay, cook for me then,” he said. There was something weird in his voice, your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to figure out what it was. You stood there for only a few seconds before you gave up.

How could you expect yourself to understand the tone of his voice when you didn’t even understand why he had lied to you about sleeping with other girls?

You turned your attention back to the stove, cleaning the pots as you needed them. The silence between you and Jeonghan was weird, so you found yourself glancing back at him a lot to see if he was asleep or not. Each time you looked back at him you found his eyes were fluttering shut.

It was like he was a child. He was quite literally pretending to be asleep when in reality he was watching you cook.

You couldn’t help but feel a little irritated.

“What have you been doing the last few days anyways?” You mumbled as you mixed some cheese into the sauce you were making. “Or I guess the question is who have you been doing?”

It was a trap really. Was it fair for you to trap a boy in a lie who didn’t even know you knew he was lying?

“I thought you didn’t get jealous unless it was Chaedom?” Jeonghan asked. You rolled your eyes and looked back at him. Again, his eyes fluttered shut as if he hadn’t been watching you at all.

“I’m not jealous,” you replied, but the bite in your voice said otherwise. “I’m just wondering that’s all.”

“I don’t need to tell you about that kind of stuff,” Jeonghan responded. “Why do you even care?”

You couldn’t answer that.

“I don’t,” you replied. “It’s just interesting to be fucking around with someone who is so openly fucking other people.”

You heard Jeonghan moving, but you kept your focus on the stove. You sort of expected him to have left the room but then all of a sudden his arms wrapped around your chest and Jeonghan buried his face into the back of your neck. You made a small noise in protest to the sudden affection.

“I’m tired,” Jeonghan complained. “You’re taking too long to cook.”

You wanted to be annoyed but having Jeonghan at such a close proximity made your heart flutter. Against your better judgement you let your head loll back against his a little.

“Cooking takes time,” you mumbled back. Jeonghan made a soft noise of complaint, but he didn’t say more.

God, you really didn’t get Jeonghan sometimes and it was almost as if the more you got to know him the more confusing he got. The way that he was holding you it was almost as if...

God, you didn’t want to think those things. You couldn’t stand to be any more delusional than you already were being.

Why was Jeonghan lying to you? It had to be a manipulation tactic. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe he had tired of fucking other people but he wanted to keep you at a distance.

Or maybe he just thrived on your confusion. Maybe he just wanted to see how far you would let him go with things. Maybe he wanted to hurt you, and this was the way he was going about it.

“Your thoughts are loud.”

Your eyes widened at Jeonghan’s words.

“Huh? What thoughts?” You asked. Jeonghan shifted his body.

“You’re overthinking us again, aren’t you?” He replied.

“I’m not-” You huffed out in aggravation. “What is there to overthink?”

Jeonghan turned so that his face was in yours.

“It’s natural to want to be close to someone in a relationship like ours,” Jeonghan said.

You stared at Jeonghan, a little lost for words with how close he was to you.

“A relationship like ours...?”

“We’re practically in a dom/sub relationship,” Jeonghan defined. “Just without a contract.”

Luckily the addition at the end seemed to remind yourself that this was Jeonghan you were talking to. He probably categorized dreams that he had about being in a real relationship with someone as a nightmare. You were being delusional getting stuck on things like him being clingy after sex and referring to you two as having a relationship.

He was right after all. You two did have a relationship. It just wasn’t a romantic one.

“What? Like in 50 Shades of Grey?” You asked, rolling your eyes. You batted Jeonghan away from you and took the pot off the stove to drain the noodles.

“I’m just saying, it’s not weird that I would want to hold you while you’re cooking. Or that you would want me close when we’re sleeping,” Jeonghan continued. You tried to come off as indifferent towards the conversation, honestly feeling a bit annoyed that he had been so easily able to tell that your mind was racing. “It’s better if I give you reassurance afterwards, whether it be physical or just emotional.”

Still ignoring Jeonghan you poured the pasta into your finished sauce, tossing the noodles around in it.

“And what about you?” You pondered, turning to look at Jeonghan. He was now leaning against your counter, just looking at you. “Don’t you need reassurance?”

“I am always getting reassurance from you,” Jeonghan replied bluntly. “Your confirmation that you know our safe word, the way that you let me tell you to do things even outside of the bedroom, even when you’re being a brat about after care-”

You looked away from him with an annoyed grunt as you went to get some bowls out of the pantry. You opened up a cabinet and got on your tip toes a little bit so that you could grab the bowls. Jeonghan stopped you, putting a hand over yours. You felt like you had to look at him.

“Your trust is reassurance to me. You have every chance to tell me no. You have every chance to tell me something is too much. You don’t have to put up with anything I do if you don’t want to,” Jeonghan said. He grabbed down two bowls, holding them out for you. “That’s my reassurance. It’s in your words and actions. You need the same reassurance from me.”

You pressed your lips together and took the bowls from Jeonghan. You looked away from him and started to scoop the pasta into the bowls. You cleared your throat, trying to shake the heavy feeling off of your shoulders.

“Why are you talking to me as if I’m not a Psych major?” You asked. “I understand the importance of reassurance.”

You turned around and pointed for Jeonghan to sit down. He did as he was told and you set the bowl of pasta in front of him, giving him a fork and a glass of water before sitting down next to him.

“Then why are you acting like it’s weird when I take steps to make sure you are reassured?” Jeonghan asked. Your eyes fluttered down to your food.

“We’re just fuck buddies Jeonghan,” you replied as if it was obvious. You risked a glance at him and immediately regretted it. Even though he had said early he was hungry, even though he had complained about being tired the only thing he was focused on was you. “I’ve had boyfriends who were less affectionate than you are.”

Jeonghan’s jaw tightened a little at your words.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked. You couldn’t keep looking at him, so you looked back at your food, poking at it as you waited for it to cool down.

“It’s just all this aftercare… I’m just not used to it.”

“How could you not be used to aftercare?” Jeonghan practically repeated the same question as before.

“My other partners never gave me aftercare,” you replied. “They would just… Fall asleep, or kick me out, or leave themselves. We didn’t do legos, or breakfast. They definitely didn’t start showers for me.”

Jeonghan was quiet, and honestly? His silence made you feel like your confession was worse than it was.

“It’s not like I need the reassurance. It’s kind of like you said. I find reassurance in other ways.”

“No,” Jeonghan said, his voice sharp. “I find reassurance directly in what you say and do. What you’re describing is the same as if I never even told you how good you are for me.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Jeonghan you assure me that I’m good even in the middle of sex.”

“Yeah, I do,” he agreed. “But did they?”

Your lips pressed together firmly.

“I thought you didn’t like me talking about other men,” you finally said. Jeonghan pressed his hands on either sides of your chair and turned you so that you were facing him. He then raised a hand to your face, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

“Y/n, you can’t be so nonchalant about these things,” he said, his voice hushed. “You’re smart, you know better than I do the effect that this kind of relationship could have on you if I didn’t force aftercare down your throat. I know it’s uncomfortable and it’s weird since we aren’t dating and you aren’t used to this but you do need it. You know you need it. I need you to admit that you need it.”

You didn’t want to admit that you needed aftercare. You didn’t want to admit that you needed Jeonghan’s reassurance. This was only more confusing knowing what you knew about Jeonghan. How could he be lying to you about sleeping with other people and in the same breath tell you that he knew how important it was to reassure you that you were good?

Again, his actions just didn’t make sense. If this was a manipulation technique it was a fucking weird one.

But then again, Jeonghan didn’t look like he was manipulating you. Getting to know him you couldn’t really see him as some sort of monster who was just trying to hurt you. Why would someone who was just aiming to see you cry put so much effort into making sure you understood that you were cared for?

It was moments like these where the delusions were so easy to believe. He knew you so well, and he clearly cared so much about you. You could tell in the way that he wasn’t just looking at you. His eyes were darting all over your face like he was reading every single part of you to completely understand you. Maybe Jeonghan not sleeping with other people was actually for you.

Maybe he cared about you so much that he just couldn’t imagine actually sleeping with other people.

But then again, these thoughts were all just that- Delusions.

“I…” You really hated that Jeonghan was right. “I do need it.”

A smile flickered across Jeonghan’s face.

“And there’s my reassurance,” he said softly. His fingers loosened their grip on you, and he raised a hand to your head. He patted you. “Now eat.”

You opened your mouth to say more, but it seemed like Jeonghan was done with the topic. He turned to the pasta and took a scoop of it. As soon as he put it in his mouth, he let out a pleasant hum.

“This is really good,” he commented. That seemed to kick you back into the moment. You turned yourself back towards your food and began to eat as well.

“Of course, it’s good,” you mumbled. “I made it.”

“I should come over more.”

The comment was probably meant to be off handed, but it only took you more by surprise.

“But you should cook before we have sex so that we can just go to sleep right after.”

He glanced at you.

“You don’t seem like your mind is being all that quiet today.”

Of course, your mind wasn’t being quiet. God, you wanted to scream at him. He was lying to you. Lying to you about something stupid. Lying to you about something that no one in their right minds would ever lie about.

And no matter how hard you thought about it, no matter how much you searched for a logical reason you couldn’t find one. It didn’t make sense that Jeonghan would lie to you and say he was sleeping with other people in any way at all.

You tried not to let it show too much how bothered you were, and instead just let his comment sit in the air. You noticed he finished eating a while before you did, but he waited as if he wasn’t done until you had finished yourself. Then- Despite your many protests- He got up and started to clean the dishes.

“Go to sleep y/n,” he said. “You need to rest.”

You did feel tired. Physically, and emotionally. But regardless, you were annoyed at Jeonghan.

“I never do dishes at your place,” you complained. He laughed airily.

“And you also never pull me by the hair and tell me I’m only good at being fucked,” Jeonghan replied. “Our roles aren’t so easily reversed.”

You defiantly stayed where you were, watching Jeonghan clean the dishes.

“And what are you going to do then?” You asked him. He glanced back at you. “Are you going to go home?”

“What do you want me to do?” Jeonghan asked. Your heart skipped a beat but before your mind could complicate the feeling you remembered what Jeonghan had said. It was natural to want a kind of intimacy with Jeonghan within the relationship you two had. You needed reassurance.

You didn’t respond. You just silently screamed at him.

Stay.

Jeonghan hummed, and his eyes flitted back to the dishes.

“I’ll come join you in a minute then.”

You blinked.

“I didn’t say that I wanted you to stay,” you said. Another laugh from Jeonghan.

“Okay, then I’ll leave.”

“No-” Your response came a little faster than you thought a fuck buddies should. “No, I do want you to stay.”

Jeonghan hummed and didn’t respond so after a few moments you sighed.

Why were you trying to pick fights with him right now? You were tired. You should just let things be for the time being. You quietly left the room, putting on some pajamas and climbing into your bed. You laid there for a few minutes, but it felt weird to be in your bed instead of Jeonghan’s after just being railed.

You wondered if your mind was racing so much because you were used to your relationship with Jeonghan being in a finite place.

You worried for a little while that Jeonghan wasn’t actually going to join you, but just as those thoughts appeared in your head, Jeonghan walked into your room. He closed the door shut behind himself and then climbed under the sheets.

Your bed was a queen size, versus his king, so it was a bit smaller than you were used to sharing with him. You tried to lay there and pretend like you were asleep.

A few minutes passed. Had it always been so cold in your room?

“Jeonghan?” You managed to say. Jeonghan hummed a response. “Can you hold me?”

Jeonghan shifted beside you and suddenly his arms were around you. He pulled you up against his chest, putting his face in his favorite spot- On your neck.

“See that? My reassurance,” Jeonghan mumbled. “You’ve been good today.”

You put aside all worries about Jeonghan’s intentions towards you. You did really like the assurance.

“So, how has it gone in paradise?” Yeongtae asked. You groaned, loudly, unafraid to express to Yeongtae that he was treading in territory you didn’t want him in.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you grumbled. He laughed.

“I’m rooting for you two!” He insisted. “And, admittedly, I’m curious to see how things will play out. Last episode was kind of a cliffhanger.”

“My sex life isn’t a tv show,” you replied. Then after a few minutes. “Besides, I’m also in the dark right now.”

Yeongtae’s eyes widened.

“You haven’t asked him yet?” He blurted.

“No,” you mumbled. “But that’s not a big deal, I mean what’s it even matter that he’s lying to me about sleeping with other people? He’s not. That’s a good thing.”

You tried to come off as nonchalant, but your mind was racing. You wondered what Yeongtae was going to say in response. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to reassure you that it wasn’t as big of a deal as you were making it out to be in your head or if you wanted him to reassure you that you weren’t crazy for obsessing over it so much the last few days.

“He’s still lying,” Yeongtae mumbled back. “What’s the harm in confronting him over it? I’m sure he has answers.”

You frowned, still a little put off by the whole situation. You didn’t want to have to bring it up to Jeonghan yourself. You didn’t really want him to know you knew.

It crossed your mind briefly that maybe one of the boys had told Jeonghan that you had asked them but quickly dismissed it. You were pretty sure that they all liked you a lot, and building off of that you were pretty sure that if Jeonghan did know, he would have brought it up by now.

… Maybe.

“You are way too stressed out over this situation,” Yeongtae said with a sigh and a shake of his head. “You should come to a party with me tonight.”

You scoffed at the invitation.

“Right.”

“No, I’m serious!” Yeongtae insisted. “You never have fun and let loose! We’ll bring Jeongyeon and Jimin and Jun and you can drink for once.”

“There is nothing healthy about going to a party to drink away your problems,” you replied. “It would just be further-”

“Blah, blah, blah,” Yeongtae interrupted. He took a step in front of you, forcing you to stop walking. “Come on! Forget your psych degree. Who cares if it’s unhealthy? It’s just one night. You’ll just stop thinking about him for one night. Nothing wrong with that.”

You had never hung out with Jimin and Jeongyeon voluntarily. That being said, your whole group was weird. To be going to a party that wasn’t an Alpha Mu party, to hang out with Jun, Jimin, Jeongyeon, and Yeongtae?

Well, you had never imagined that there would be a day.

As soon as you got to the party, Yeongtae had peeled away, only to come back a few minutes later with a bunch of drinks in red solo cups in hand. He passed the cups out to everyone, smiling brightly.

“Is everyone ready to have an amazing night?” He asked excitedly.

One of the reasons that you had actually agreed to come out tonight was because of Yeongtae. Namely, because it had occurred to you recently that Yeongtae hadn’t been lying to you when you first met. You were pretty sure that you actually were his only friend in school.

He never talked about meeting with other people, and if he did answer a phone call or anything it was from a friend that was out of town. You felt a bit bad for him, considering all you two spent your time doing was studying.

You looked down at the cup full of amber liquid, squinting at it unsurely. You cleared your throat.

God, it had been such a long time since you had actually gone drinking. You didn’t tend to find solace in getting drunk as normally you were practically babysitting your friends.

“Y/n, don’t worry so much about it.”

You looked up to find that Jun was watching you closely. He gave you a smile.

“I’ll watch out for you,” he assured you. “So don’t worry, nothing bad will happen.”

You gave him a small smile and nodded.

“Okay, thanks.”

You knew you didn’t have to drink if you didn’t want to. Not really.

You tipped the drink into your mouth.

You supposed that you wanted to.

The thing about getting drunk for you was mostly just that you were constantly dizzy. You weren’t necessarily clumsier than usually but the whole world constantly felt like it was spinning. You kept your grip tight on Yeongtae’s forearm as he started to talk to a girl. You laughed as you watched the two interact, glad to see that Yeongtae was actually enjoying someone’s company.

“How long have you and your girlfriend been dating?” The girl asked, her eyes shooting to you. It was a look that you had only seen in this eyes of other girls who wanted to be with Jeonghan. You laughed.

“What? We’re not dating,” you said. You let go of Yeongtae’s forearm and craned your neck, pointing to where you thought some of your fading hickeys might be. “I belong to someone else.”

“Yoon Jeonghan,” Yeongtae filled in. The girl seemed a bit surprised at the mention of Jeonghan but regardless a smile flickered across her face.

“So you won’t mind if I take Yeongtae away?”

Your mouth dropped open in excitement and surprise.

“Oh, be my guest!” Your eyes flitted towards Yeongtae. “I won’t be answering any phone calls though.”

Yeongtae laughed as the girl latched herself onto Yeongtae.

“And here I was hoping to finally get my revenge.”

The girl dragged Yeongtae away through the crowd and you found yourself alone. You wondered where to go next but you vaguely remembered Jimin and Jeongyeon sneaking off to a closet a little while earlier. They were no help.

You thought maybe you would try and go find Jun.

You took a few steps but before you could get far you bumped into someone. You went to apologize but stopped dead in your tracks. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Yunjun?”

The tall boy looked to be just as surprised as you were. You thought for a moment that maybe you had the wrong guy, but Yunjun was definitely standing there. Your eyes flickered to his hair. It was long and blonde. You’d never seen it like that before.

“Y/n,” Yunjun replied. His eyes flickered up and down your body, making you feel a bit self-conscious. You weren’t dressed in a lot as per Jeongyeon’s request. You two were wearing matching skirts and crop tops. “You look really good.”

Your lips flickered into a smile.

“Uh, thanks.”

You couldn’t help the way that your mind turned when you were with him. Just being near him reminded you of your time with him. Of all your flings he had probably been the worst one that you were with in terms of reassurance and aftercare. And going on that he had been one of your most intense flings.

Whereas Jeonghan was rough with you in actions and words he still slipped in praise here and there. Yunjun had never done that. It was why you had stopped seeing him. He made you feel small.

“What have you been up to recently?” Yunjun asked. He seemed to think over a few things. “Don’t you still have some of my clothes?”

Your mind flickered back to Jeonghan.

“Uh, something happened to them. I don’t have them anymore.”

Yunjun seemed confused by that statement, but he didn’t dig.

“You know, it’s been a really long time since I had my hands on you,” Yunjun said softly. He stepped closer to you, his hand coming up to your face. He brushed a strand of hair to the side. “It would be fine to have a blast from the past.”

You laughed nervously. Yunjun was someone that you didn’t really feel comfortable around. You went to respond but before you could his eyes flickered to your neck. He frowned and tilted your head up.

“How did…?” “Oh, uh-” You batted Yunjun’s hand away from you. His frown deepened at that. “I actually am seeing someone right now.”

Yunjun’s eyes narrowed at you. You could tell he didn’t like that you had diminished his display of dominance over you.

You were a bit too drunk to handle this situation. If you were sober, you knew that you wouldn’t be so nervous around him. You also knew that you would be able to leave this conversation without a stray thought.

“Who?” Yunjun asked. Now it was your turn to frown.

“It doesn’t matter,” you responded.

“Sure, it does. I just need to know if I should really worry about using someone else’s toy.”

You pressed your lips together. You hated being objectified when it was like this. This wasn’t a turn on. This was a situation you wanted out of.

“You should worry about it because I’m not a toy you’re going to get to use today,” you replied. “Or tomorrow or-”

Yunjun interrupted you with a laugh.

“It’s not like you to get drunk y/n,” he said. “The alcohol is making you forget how much fun we used to have.”

He tilted his head a bit, his eyes still on the hickey’s on your neck.

“You never let me leave hickeys on you.”

“He’s more possessive than you,” you replied pointedly. “I’m done with this conversation. Even if I wasn’t with someone, I’m not interested in sleeping with you again.”

You turned away from Yunjun, your thoughts returning to getting back to Jun but just as you turned around Yunjun’s tight gripe was on your wrist.

“That’s not your safe word,” he warned. Your eyebrows furrowed as you searched your mind to try and remember what your safe word with Yunjun had been, but in your drunk haze all you could remember was your safe word with Jeonghan. You opened your mouth to reassert that you weren’t going to sleep with Yunjun and that you didn’t remember your safe word (not that it should matter) but before you could someone came to a stop in front of you.

Your eyes furrowed and you raised your gaze to meet the persons eyes.

Everything was blurry but you could still make out that it was Jeonghan standing in front of you.

His face was a dark red and after glance at his hands you saw that his fists were clenched. You looked back up at his eyes.

“Jeonghan.”

His eyes flickered away from yours and he looked over your head.

“Let go of her.”

Jeonghan’s voice was deeper than you had ever heard it before. Yunjun let go of you so suddenly that you couldn’t help but fall forward, your head bumping into Jeonghan’s chest.

He wrapped his arms around your body, and pulled you close to him, one hand going protectively over your head. You could feel that he was talking, his body was vibrating with each word, but you couldn’t figure out what he was saying.

You tried to move to look up at him or access the situation but Jeonghan’s grip on you was too tight. He was quite literally shielding you from the conversation. Part of you wanted to fight against it. You wanted to know what he was saying.

But another part of you was tired and felt undeniably felt safer wrapped in Jeonghan’s arms. For the first time in hours, it felt quiet.

Then, Jeonghan started to move. He kept you close to him, still trying to shield you as he started to lead you through the crowd. He stopped somewhere and this time you were able to look up. He was talking to Jun. He covered your ears again quickly.

Then he started to lead you out of the party again.

Once the two of you were out in the cool air, he loosened his grip on you, letting you pull away from his body. He didn’t completely let go of you. His hand slid down, his fingers intertwining with yours.

He was quiet, not saying anything. You could feel that he was upset. But you could also feel that it wasn’t at you.

“Do you know how hard it was to watch that?” Jeonghan asked after a few minutes. When he started speaking, he also started to walk again, dragging you along with him. “I didn’t want to intervene, I know you can handle yourself.”

You didn’t respond to him, so he continued.

“When he touched you? You so clearly didn’t want it and he ignored all of your signs.”

Another brief span of silence.

“Who was that?”

“Just an old fling,” you replied, your voice quiet. You were still so dizzy. “Yunjun.”

Jeonghan’s grip tightened on your hand.

“He’s lucky he’s not dead,” he replied. “He might not see the end of the week.”

“Don’t joke about that Jeonghan,” you said. His eyes fluttered back to you, and the look in his eyes made you realize that his next statement was true.

“I’m not joking.”

You looked to the street.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

Jeonghan stopped in his tracks, making you bump right into him. When you looked up, Jeonghan was looking at you with a terrifyingly serious expression on his face.

“Why?” He asked. You just stared at him. “Why are you sorry? Because you decided to have fun for once? Because you got drunk safely around friends? Because you let an old fling touch you even though you told him no?”

His words were hushed in a way that made it very clear to you he was fighting screaming.

“Don’t apologize for that,” he said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But you’re upset,” you replied softly. “I’m sorry for making you upset.”

“I’m overly possessive. This isn’t news,” he said. “Of course, I’m upset. Someone else was touching you.”

His eyes briefly flickered away from you, but his gaze was back fast.

“But that’s not your fault. I’m not upset at you,” he said. “And even if you had wanted the touches. Even if you had asked for that attention I still wouldn’t be upset at you. You can do whatever you want.”

You wanted to argue with him further on this. If he wasn’t mad at you then who was he mad at?

It was useless though.

“Do you want me to take you to your place?”

God, he was so frustrating.

“I don’t suppose you’re going to fuck me.”

You didn’t mean to be so blunt, but also you didn’t care. You kind of wanted the validation that came from having sex with Jeonghan. Even if he was confusing. Even if he was lying. You knew that he was serious when he called you good. You knew that he was being truthful when he said that he couldn’t get enough of you.

You liked that at a party with a hundred people you knew that if you were there Jeonghan would end up going home with you.

You wondered if he got jealous over other people he had slept with flirting with people. It didn’t make sense that he would only be jealous over you.

“You’re drunk,” was all Jeonghan said.

“You’d fuck me if I was sober,” you replied. Jeonghan ignored you, but you knew he was right.

“Can I…” You didn’t want to ask. This was stepping over some sort of boundary, right? You couldn’t stay the night at Jeonghan’s if you two weren’t going to have sex. You two were entering a weird territory.

But you were craving validation. Yunjun had left you so unsettled.

“Can I stay at yours?” Your voice was really quiet. “I know that we aren’t really in that sort of-”

“Of course, you can,” Jeonghan replied. “I’d never say no to something like that.”

You two walked for a few more paces in silence but suddenly nausea swept over you. You tugged at Jeonghan’s hand, trying to get him to let you go. Once he did, you felt yourself fall to the ground. You groaned and buried your face in your hands.

You didn’t walk another step.

“Let’s sleep here,” you murmured. “The ground is comfortable.”

You rolled over even further, your back hitting the concrete. You heard Jeonghan sigh, and he knelt down in front of you.

“You can’t sleep here,” he said. “We’re almost back.”

You groaned in protest, keeping your face buried. Jeonghan let you sit there for a few seconds.

“Do you want me to carry you?”

You peeked up at him.

“Carry me?”

He nodded and turned around, crouched with his back towards you. He glanced at you over his shoulder.

“Come on. Get on my back.”

You pressed your lips together. Wasn’t this a little intimate?

But then again, if it were a friend like Yeongtae or Jun you would get on their back without hesitation.

You did as Jeonghan wanted you to. Once you were secure on his back Jeonghan stood up and began to walk. You two were quiet, you were afraid to lay your head too close to Jeonghan but you were also still ridiculously tired. You let your head rest on his shoulders, your eyes fluttering shut.

“Jeonghan?”

He hummed.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

When you woke up you were in Jeonghan’s room. Your head hurt a little bit as you turned over to face Jeonghan’s side of the bed, but he wasn’t there. You pressed your lips together. Was this how he felt when he woke up and you weren’t next to him?

You glanced over and noticed a glass of water on the bedside table with a note. You reached over and began to drink the water as you read Jeonghan’s writing.

Call me when you wake up. Mingyu’s making you breakfast.

You weren’t in the same clothes as you had been the night before so Jeonghan must have changed you.

You tried to think back on the night, but you couldn’t remember anything after you fell asleep. Maybe you and Jeonghan had fucked last night? Further evidence that you meant very little to Jeonghan.

You sighed and pulled out your phone to call Jeonghan. You knew Jeonghan wouldn’t fuck you when you were drunk. As much of a player as he was, there were lines you knew he wouldn’t cross.

The phone only rang once.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Morning,” you mumbled.

“Sorry I wasn’t there to greet you. I had an exam to go to,” he said. “Are you drinking your water?”

You hummed your confirmation to his question.

“Are you feeling, okay?” There was an air of worry in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied. “I just don’t drink a lot is all.”

Jeonghan was quiet for a little while.

“It’s hard to figure out if you’re telling the truth or not over the phone,” he murmured. “Tonight Alpha Mu is throwing a party. If you’re feeling better, you should come.”

You thought over it.

“Maybe,” you replied. “Hey, why were you at the party last night?”

“Hm? Jun told me about it.”

Your eyebrows rose.

“What? Why?”

“He wanted to make sure you were watched well while you were drinking since you were nervous about it,” Jeonghan replied. “And he knew that I would kill him if something happened to you.”

“I can take of myself,” you murmured into the phone.

“I know,” Jeonghan agreed, and nothing in his words made you think that he was just saying it to make you feel better. “But isn’t it nice to have someone watching out for you?”

It was.

“I should get back to my place,” you said. “Maybe I’ll see you later.”

Suddenly a thought occurred to you.

“Hey if I don’t come to the party tonight, are you going to sleep with someone else?”

“Why’re you so interested in who I sleep with recently?” Jeonghan asked. “I thought you didn’t care.”

“I don’t,” you replied. “Just… Wondering. Do you use condoms with them?”

“I always use condoms,” Jeonghan replied as if it was obvious.

“But never with me,” you replied. He scoffed.

“Aren’t you the same person who was begging me for a creampie the first time with me?” He asked. You opened your mouth to argue with him, but then your mind flashed the memory of your first time with him.

“Goodbye, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan laughed.

“Goodbye, y/n.”

You walked downstairs after getting changed, giving a drowsy smile to the boys in the kitchen. It was only Mingyu, Seungcheol, and Jun. You took a seat next to Jun, immediately getting a plate of eggs placed in front of you. You smiled at Mingyu.

“Thanks, I feel bad, you’re always feeding me.”

He waved away your concerns.

“It’s nice to feed someone other than the boys,” he assured.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jun asked you. He leaned close to you, peering into your eyes. “Jeonghan and I were watching you talk to that guy last night-”

“Yunjun,” you agreed with a nod. Seungcheol suddenly shifted on the other end of the table.

“Yunjun?” He asked. “How do you know Yunjun?”

You glanced across the table at him, your eyebrows furrowing.

“I had a fling with him,” you replied. Seungcheol’s face showed that he was troubled by your response. “How do you know Yunjun?”

“Mutual friends,” he replied. “Did he do anything to you?”

You could feel the gaze of all three boys on you.

“It’s just Yunjun,” you said with a laugh. “He’s harmless.”

“Jeonghan was pissed when he brought you in last night,” Mingyu explained. “We wouldn’t be concerned if it weren’t for just how angry he was.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Angry?”

“He came downstairs after putting you up and sat for an hour building lego sets not saying a word. He didn’t really get anything done. That’s how you could tell he was mad. Then he went back upstairs to be with you,” Seungcheol explained.

“Nothing really happened,” you disregarded. “Jeonghan just gets jealous.”

The boys were silent for a few seconds. They clearly disagreed with something you had said. You weren’t sure what.

“Are you coming to the party tonight?” Jun finally asked. You shrugged.

“Maybe. I don’t know yet,” you said honestly. “My head hurts from the party.”

Seungcheol wordlessly got up and rummaged through a drawer for a moment before setting a bottle of ibproufen in front of you. You laughed dryly, shaking your head.

“You are a strange group of guys,” you said honestly. “You baby me just as much as Jeonghan does.”

The boys ignored your statement, and brought up something else. Luckily, giving you the chance to eat your eggs in peace.

Despite the weird air the boys gave off initially, being around them made you sure of one thing. Maybe another party was just what you needed. After all, last night your stress had momentarily been gone. What was the worst that could happen?

When you got to the Alpha Mu party your first thought was that you shouldn’t have come. Your head still hurt a little bit from drinking the night before. But, you wanted to see Jeonghan so you had wanted to come to the party either way.

You were sure that you could convince him to spend some time in his room if you found him soon anyways. You walked through the party but didn’t make it far before someone stopped you.

“Hey it’s y/n, right?”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you made out the boy standing in front of you. He was only slightly taller than you, his black hair in a bowl cut with wide eyes.

“Yeah…” You replied uncertainly. “Who are you?”

“Oh, right, you wouldn’t know me,” he replied with a hearty laugh. He held out his hand. “Hyeon.”

You dipped your head a little in greeting.

“Nice to meet you.”

It wasn’t though. He was giving off a strange air.

“I heard you had a run in with Yunjun last night,” Hyeon said. “I’m his friend. We met a little while after you stopped seeing him.”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh.” “And I heard that you like it rough in bed yeah? You like to be owned?”

The way he was speaking was making you a bit angry. The difference between today and last night being now that you weren’t drunk you had clarity over the situation. Hyeon was being a sexist asshole and it was making you angry.

However, before you could respond Jeonghan came up behind you, placing his hand on your shoulder. His grip was tight as he came to a stop beside you. You glanced over at him, noticing a really hard expression on his face.

“Oh, Jeonghan. I heard that you’re the man in the know,” Hyeon said, an even bigger smile crossing his lips. “Is it true that y/n is a pathetic slut in bed?”

Your eyes widened slightly.

“How did you hear about that?” You asked, but you supposed it was from Yunjun if they really were friends.

“Was I talking to you?” Hyeon asked roughly, his eyebrows furrowing. You blinked at the aggressive tone.

“Hey-” Jeonghan started, but before he could get more out you interrupted him by placing your hand on his chest and stepping closer to Hyeon.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say to me?” You asked, your voice getting deeper and your words getting curter. Hyeon leaned closer, his eyes narrowing.

“I said I wasn’t talking to you,” Hyeon repeated. “Don’t you know better than to talk without permission?”

Hyeon shot you a cocky expression on his face.

“I guess you forgot Yunjun’s training,” he said. His gaze darted over your shoulder. “And Jeonghan hasn’t done well reminding you of your place.”

Your fist collided with Hyeon’s face before you could think about it further. Hyeon stumbled back, in surprise, you figured, not pain, and readjusted his jaw.

“What the-”

“Don’t talk about me like that. Not in front of me, not when I’m not around, not ever,” you snapped. “Just because I like it when Jeonghan treats me like that doesn’t mean I want to be treated like that by everyone. Especially not an ugly piece of shit like you.”

Hyeon squared his shoulders,

“Sorry Jeonghan I’m going to have to beat some sense into your little side piece-” Hyeon started to approach you again, raising his fist as he approached. You immediately regretted speaking. Your eyes widened and you raised your hands in front of your face, but impact never came.

“Hyeon, you seemed to not have heard what y/n just said.”

You looked up at Jeonghan to find that he had Hyeon’s fist in his hand and he was completely blocking Hyeon’s access to you with his body. You straightened back up, glancing around Jeonghan cautiously. Unlike earlier with you Hyeon actually looked a little scared looking up at Jeonghan who quite literally towered over him.

“J-Jeonghan, I was just joking-”

“Apologize,” Jeonghan said.

“Wh-what?”

“Apologize right now.”

Jeonghan let go of Hyeon’s fist, making him stumble a bit. He took one more glance at Jeonghan’s face and then immediately looked at you.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it.”

Jeonghan grabbed Hyeon’s arm and tilted it behind Hyeon’s back in a way that made him cry out.

“Not good enough,” Jeonghan said sharply.

You thought that this Jeonghan should seem familiar to you. After all, it should on paper be the same Jeonghan that you saw in the bedroom. Rough and stern and not going to leave without getting what he wanted.

But he was different somehow with Hyeon. For once, you were a little scared about what he was going to do.

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

Jeonghan scoffed and knocked Hyeon down to his knees. Once Hyeon was down there, Jeonghan pulled his head up by the roots of his hair.

“Why don’t you beg y/n for forgiveness?”

Hyeon pressed his lips together, clearly hesitating to do so but despite his hesitation: “Please forgive me.”

Jeonghan looked over at you, an amused expression spreading over his face.

“Ever wondered what you like when you’re with me?”

You rolled your eyes, a little flustered by the display in front of you.

“You seem like you’re enjoying this,” you mumbled.

“Not really,” Jeonghan replied. “I’d much rather it be you. It’s not enjoyable in the slightest to put Hyeon in his place.”

He tightened his grip in Hyeon’s hair.

“Well, do you forgive him?” He asked. You sighed and shrugged.

“I guess. I kinda feel bad seeing him like this. He can’t help that he’s a man.”

Jeonghan hummed and released Hyeon’s hair, throwing him forward so that he had to catch himself with his hands. He gasped as if he hadn’t been able to breathe before and looked up at you, this time a look of fear in his eyes.

“You two are crazy.”

And then Hyeon stumbled to his feet and rushed away, disappearing into the crowd of people that you couldn’t believe weren’t paying attention to the two of you.

You glanced at Jeonghan, but he wasn’t looking at you, instead he was squinting in the direction that Hyeon had rushed off in. Your eyes narrowed slightly as you looked at him.

“Why did you react like that?” You asked. Jeonghan hummed in question, merely tilting his head towards you in acknowledgment.

“React like what?”

“Like... That,” you emphasized. “Like... You cared about the fact that he was being a dick to me.”

“Why wouldn’t I care?”

“Because I’m just a fuck toy,” you blurted. This made Jeonghan look at you, his eyebrows raising.

“What?”

“I’m just a fuck toy,” you repeated. Jeonghan frowned deeply.

“You’ve got to stop saying that outside of the bedroom,” he mumbled. “You’re not just a fuck toy. Why would you refer to yourself like that to me?”

Frustration bubbled in your chest. You knew that Micah Salaberrios would be laughing at you right now. If you had used his nonviolent communication techniques earlier your feelings wouldn’t be boiling up like this.

Despite the dumb advice in Micah’s book you knew that there was one piece of advice you shouldn’t overlook. Don’t bring up the conversation right now when your feelings are just going to prevent you from talking rationally. Whatever you do don’t bring up-

“Why did you lie to me and tell me that you were fucking other people?”

Jeonghan’s confusion evaporated from his face almost instantly. His mouth closed and his fingers closed around your wrist.

“Maybe we should talk about this somewhere less public,” he mumbled.

“Why? You don’t want everyone to know? You lied to me about fucking other people.”

You grabbed a random girl.

“Want to fuck Yoon Jeonghan?” You asked. “Well, you can’t! Because he is only sleeping with me and yet is telling me that he is sleeping with someone else regardless.”

Jeonghan sharply tugged your wrist, and the girl gave you a weird look, but walked away with a slight reciprocated bow towards Jeonghan.

“Look we can talk about this,” Jeonghan insisted. “Just… Can’t you just come upstairs?”

You didn’t know why but you were mad. Too mad at Jeonghan to want to be rational. You hit his chest to which he sighed, wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you up over his shoulder.

You yelped, causing a couple of people to glance over at the two of you. Embarrassment filled your body, more so even then when people referenced your sexual relationship with Jeonghan.

You hit Jeonghan on the back.

“Put me down Jeonghan!” You insisted.

“Just let me take you upstairs,” Jeonghan argued back.

It wasn’t that you didn’t feel safe. You always felt safe with Jeonghan. No matter how rough he was being, you knew at the end of the day he wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want him to do. A closed door conversation was exactly the thing that you two needed.

But fuck that.

“I think Jennie’s texting me,” you blurted at the top of your lungs. Jeonghan’s entire body froze and he had you steady on the ground so fast that you felt the world spin a little. Your eyes tried to focus on him, but for some reason you were crying.

“I’m sorry,” Jeonghan said softly and from what you could see of him (blurry Jeonghan was still stupidly attractive and serious) he did look like a reflection of his words.

“Don’t call me, Jeonghan.”

And with that you turned on your heel and left the party.

Part Six: Attention

#seventeen #seventeen smut #seventeen fanfic #jeonghan smut #kpop smut #jeonghan fanfic #do i have to tag this #i'm so lazy #sorry for promising a date and then posting it five days later #i.. yeah #ANYWAYS HERE IT IS

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