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coffeebeannate · 4 years

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Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England.

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters? and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh.

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie.

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead.

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so!

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled.

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

#a dangerous fortune #nate reviews things #nate reviewing #look don't expect coherency here ya'll this thing is A TRIP #long post #too many screenshots #am i legit posting this thing at quarter to four in the morning #yes because i dont want my drafts to eat it askjdnkas #i'll just rebagel later in the day if needed ok

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years

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Heartbreak, Jailbreak - Narciso Anasui ( Non Pucci AU)

Life in prison isn't particularly the most beautiful thing to encounter, especially if you've been framed, and unfortunately, I had to learn that the hard way.

To be fair, I don't even think one could call it "framed", since it's mostly police negligence and ignorance. They just wanted to get rid of me and this burden of a murder case faster.

But honestly, how could a 17 year old kill her family and completely destroy her seemingly perfect life?

For me, the police's logic is a complete mystery... But that's exactly how I was sentenced to 40 years in prison.

They thought that I, a prodigy student, ready to take the Medicine University entrance exam, threw it all in the garbage and gruesomely killed my parents and dog, only to then go on my merry date with my then-boyfriend, that was in reality, nothing more than a scumbag.

Well, it's not like I could really do something else, and I pleaded for having a split personality, so for the past 5 years, I've been pretending to be a very dumb, soft and innocent little girl that would never hurt a fly, which made it easy for me to gain the favour and pity of most of the guards around for being a harmless angel.

Haha, if only they knew.

At least I was allowed to read and study at my leisure, I was later given my own cell, shared with nobody else, I could perform piano and violin recitals during certin occasions or events and many other favours.

Prison life was incredibly boring, especially since all women around were incredibly aggressive and hostile, or just plain dull and uneducated and you couldn't really coverse with them.

Well, that all changed now, present time, when I met the 2 new girls, Jolyne and Hermes. Let me tell you, these girls were absolutely amazing and you could always have great conversations with them, especially with JoJo. And to think that I met her when I bribed the hairstylist not to cut their hair, and further on, when I'd give them money for random stuff they'd want to get.

Over the time, I realised that the girls also somehow managed to get Stands, but unlike mine, with which I was born, they got theirs through some way or another. And thus, began our random battle with evil as Jolyne had to fight the men who wanted her dead and framed her, mainly her boyfriend, while Hermes was there to kill the man who killed her elder sister.

We were there for each other, emotionally, morally and physically at all times. The weirdest things happening were, however, this little kid who could use some kind of ghost ability, and inside this ghost music room, a silver haired man was leaning on the piano - They said his name was Weather Report and that his Stand is named the same way.

Weird, but who am I to judge.

Emporio, the little kid, mentioned that sometimes another man would join them, but he was much less sociable and was always in a grumpy mood.

And so, here we are, present day- A beautiful day of Spring in the Dolphin whatever Prison, where the men and women were allowed to spend a few hours in the courtyard to get some fresh air...Or something.

I can only guess the guards were in a good mood or something, who really knows?

I took my sweet time getting to the courtyard as I was reading while walking, already knowing the path there, my feet dragging me there automatically, and when I looked up from the book, I saw Jolyne, Foo Fighters and Hermes playing catch...I think?

I greeted them with a soft smile, making my way to the bench, my long pastel pink dress swaying gently on the Spring breeze as flower petals were dancing around gently.

Everything was perfect, everyone was smiling and laughing- But that all changed when some girl got in front of me and snatched away my book, looked at the cover, then scrunched her nose in disgust.

"Eww, you read this shit? No wonder you're the guards's pet. And to think they all say you are actually a cold-blooded murderer or something, how lame!" she scoffed, walking away with my book. "Please give me back my book. If you want to borrow it, let me finish it first." I spoke in a soft and sort of aloof voice as I stood up, looking after her. "Why the hell would I wanna read some boring bullshit- No, actually, why are you talking back to your superiors?!" she sneered, seeing me walking towards her casually. "Y/Nick, do you want me to get rid of that bitch?" Hermes looked at the girl in disgust. "No, thank you, dear. Let's not resume to violence on such a beautiful day, it would be quite a shame." I smiled mockingly at the enemy, only to have her get in my face, screeching at me. "Shame? Like what your parents felt heaving you as your daughter? Oh, wait, I forgot! They're dead! You killed them!! Hahaha, how vile of you, Miss perfect!" she laughed tauntingly, which only made me bite my lip to stop myself from snapping and twisting her neck in a fit of rage. "Give me my book back, please." I repeated in a lower, more threatening voice, making her gasp and hitting my face with my own book. "WHO DA HELL D'YA THINK Y'RE, Y'WHORE?! You think you're so fuckin' perfect 'cause everyone loves ya or somethin'?! Well, how 'bout I steal all yo' money, ehhhh?!" she shrieked, but the only thing that made me afraid was getting some spit from her on my face. "Your loss." I sighed, rubbing my cheek, taking out my Stand and pulling her hair on fire. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, BITCH?!PUT IT OFF! PUT IT OFF!!!" she took out a small revolver from her pants, aiming it at me, but I quickly dodged it, and proceeded in engulfing her on fire and getting my book back.

What I wasn't expecting, however, was to heard a grunt, followed by a thud and some gasps, and upon snapping my head back, I realised a pink haired man was on the ground, and the girls were gathered around him. My jaw dropped in dread realising that because of me, that man was shot, and I rushed to his side, pulling the girls away as I brushed the hair from his face.

"I'm so sorry, mister...Because of me, you got shot. Let me heal you, please." I spoke in a softer voice, taking out my Stand and using her healing water to successfully extract the bullet, then healing the wound. "Are...You an angel...?" he murmured weakly. "No, but my Stand is. Her name is Lilium and she's pleased to meet you...Although she'd prefer to have met you under less...Fatal situations." I offered him a tender smile, as Lilium's wings spread a bit more. "Y/Nick, I don't think you've met him. He is Anasui, the other guy who's around Weather in the ghost room." Jolyne patted my head, introducing us. "Oh, so you're the mysterious man I was supposed to meet! It's really nice to meet you! My name is Y/N L/N, but my friends call me Y/Nickname or other variations, so feel free to be creative." I got up, dusting my dress before offering him my hand to helping him get up. "I'm really sorry about the whole ordeal, I just hope it doesn't hurt too much anymore." I gave him an apologetic smile as he towered over me, looking down at me. "It's fine. Narciso Anasui, call me whatever you like. And uh...Thanks for the fix. You have a nice Stand." he looked at me somewhat awkwardly, unsure of how to react. "Thank you, Narci! You have beautiful hair! It looks great with Spring. If I had a camera, I'd have loved to take pictures of you in nature." I hummed in amusement as the girls started laughing at the thought. "That's the funniest shit I've heard in a while, I swear-" Hermes booming laugh echoed around the place, annoying Annasui greatly. "I don't get it, why is this little mouse around anyway? You can't tell me she actually did something bad. Why did she get put here? Didn’t smile for a minute?" he crossed his arms, looking at us with a raised eyebrow, almost as if he were interrogating us, but instead of an answer, a deafening silence fell. "Uhm...Anasui..." Jolyne tried to mutter, but instead, I raised my face up to him, smiling with a fake innocence that dripped with a paralysing poison, making him feel that the whole place was thrown into the Ice Age all of a sudden. "I massacred my family." was all I said before walking past him, my hands behind my back, gripping my slightly burnt book, letting my long crimson hair fly behind me.

So much for first impressions.

---

For the following days, I stood by Jolyne’s and Hermes’ side for the majority of time, and so, I was able to understand most of what happened to them and why they are here, and more, the fact that Jolyne’s dad was going to come over and try to get her out of jail, only for her to try to get all of us out, since his influence is just that great.

What I had to do was to assist their private meeting by knocking out the unsuspecting guard that was supposed to be in the same room and negotiate, but also, tell the older man about the Stand Users and leaders of the prison...

After all, being a “Pet” in this place is rather beneficial.

The meeting went smoothly, so Hermes, FF and Jolyne were preparing their strategies, while I hurried in the Ghost Room to tell Emporio and the other the plan.

“Great, everyone’s here. So, uhm...We have a plan. To escape, I mean. And...It’s going to work. But we need everyone’s help. It won’t be easy, but if we get out of here, Jolyne’s dad promised to get us new identities and places to stay, and a chance to live a normal life from now on. So, uhm...What do you say?” I look at the 3 of them, whose eyes seemed to burn holes in my skin. “Sure.” Weather nodded nonchalantly. “Can we really get out of here? And I won’t have to go to an orphanage?” Emporio looked up at me with hopeful eyes. “Uhm...As far as I know, Jolyne mentioned something about making you her little brother or something, if you’d want that too, of course. You’re a kid, you shouldn’t have to worry about things like these. You’re going to have a normal childhood from now on. You deserve it.” I smiled warmly at him, patting his head. “That’s amazing! I can’t wait!” he hugged me tightly with his little arms. “...Narci...? What about you? You’ve been quiet all this time...Is it because I snapped at you back then? If so, then I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” I spoke in a softer voice, hoping he would answer back. “I’m not coming.” he scoffed, going to the bookshelf, taking out a book, in a way to show that he’s not interested in talking. “Wh-What?! Why?! Don’t you want to get out of this place?! You already have like...15? 20? Years in this place. You’ll get out of here at 40-50 years old, and that’s basically your whole life being lost doing nothing! Don’t you want a second chance to live and learn to be happy again?” I approached him, looking at him with a sad pout. “Don’t give me that look. You only know me from the others. I’m a bad person, why’d you care what happens to me? After all, unlike you, little liar, I am an actual murderer.” he didn’t even raise his gaze from the book to look at me. “...Because in the little time we spent together, I could feel you weren’t a bad person. You are just extremely emotionally hurt and you try to hide behind your cold wall...And...You’re the only person who was sure from the get-go that I’m not a murderer. So...You’re not as bad as you say you are...Murderer or not. I’m sure you had your reasons.” I tried to reason, as he snapped his look at me, his eyes sparkling with confusion and a myriad of mixed emotions, until he threw away the book and slammed me on the bookcase, putting his hands on both sides of my head, towering over me. “I know purity when I see it. You’re the embodiment of innocence and purity, just like your Stand. But your kindness isn’t just that, it’s an act. What are you trying to pull here? And why do you cling so much on Jolyne?” he talked in a low, threatening voice, almost as if he was a wolf ready to tear at my throat. “I can’t tell what you see so nice and kind in me...I really don’t...But even so, I...I want to help Jolyne. She is like me, but she still has a family out there that loves and waits for her. They miss her, and she misses them...But me? I have no one. I, like her, got framed for such horrible crimes...But there’s nobody to support me. Even if I get out of here, I’ll still be alone...But frankly, I was beginning to lose my mind doing the same things over and over again and pretending to be a dumb idiot with some kind of psychotic split personality.” I tried to say, as my breath was taken away from the sudden closeness, blushing at the embarrassment and the anxiety I felt, as I wasn’t used to people being in my personal bubble. “Hmmm....Fine. I’ll help, but on one condition. If you agree, then you can do what you want with me and my power. What do you say? I could be asking anything...Are you really going to do anything to make sure Jolyne gets out of here? That all of us get out of here and have that stupid happy end you see in those Disney movies?” he was so dangerously close to me that I could feel his breath, as his long hot pink hair was brushing against my cheeks. “...What is your condition, Narci?” I bit my lip, trying to stay composed and breath again. “Marry me when we get out of here.” he smirked, making both myself and the kid gasp in shock. “H-Hey, Anasui, you’ll really help?!” Emporio looked at him with his jaw hanging wide open, but all I could do was stare at the magenta-eyed man, as my head was swimming with a hundred thousand of thoughts. “...M-Marry...M-Me...?! Wh-Why would you...?! Me?! O-Of all people?...I-I-I thought you liked Jolyne, she’s much better than me...A-And...I-I j-just...Me?! Why’d anyone want to date me, let alone marry me?...Are you making fun of me, Narciso Anasui, because if you are, it’s not nice messing like that with people’s hearts!” I tried to yell at him, but no matter how I tried to make my voice firm, it was trembling, making it obvious that I was trying my hardest not to cry. “If I wanted to mess with you, I’d have told you to let me fuck you. Yes, Y/N, I know, I look like a very harsh and cold man...I am a murderer, after all...But your conviction to help us get out, your gold heart...They touched me. But I’ll be very clear, I won’t help Jolyne to get us out of here, I’ll help you get a better life. I’m doing this for you, not for anyone else.” he explained strictly, as I could only clutch my shirt where my heart was, trying to regain my composure. “Can you also promise me something...” I whispered, putting my other hand on his neck, to get closer to him. “What is it?” he asked, skeptically. “...Promise me...You won’t play with my feelings...And break my heart...? I don’t think I can handle it again...I don’t know what I’ll do if...” I whispered in his ear, not able to finish my sentence, as he wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. “I killed my girlfriend for cheating on me and breaking my heart...I couldn’t possibly put you through what I’ve been through.” he muttered back, burying his face in my hair. “Thank you...” was my last, very broken whisper, as I hurried out of there to tell Jolyne that we have full support from everyone.

---

For the rest of the week, the rest of us would meet up outside, in the courtyard, discussing what each of us has to do, all while Anasui kept me by his side or in his gaze range at all times, looking after me like a hawk, his excuse being that he didn’t want me to get hurt or something.

Getting this much attention was sure...Weird.

But as long as we get out of here...

And the worst thing was that...

His embraces were so fucking warm that I lost myself in them.

Because Anasui’s Stand was the strongest, while mine was the most versatile and could heal, it was decided that we would be the ones on the watchout and make sure everyone got out safely before us, which meant that we were in the most trouble...But as he assured me, he would protect me with his life...So, okay?

The big day came by sooner than expected, and the first to go were Jolyne and Hermes, to scout ahead and make sure no harm comes to Emporio, who’d be guarded by Foo and Weather, and then us, in the back, guarding the rear.

As I told them, the master of this prison, who was a Stand User, was going to come after us without a doubt, but what nobody was aware of was the Stand’s power, so we have to be constantly on alert, otherwise...Who knows what would happen.

“Narci...?” I asked in a hushed voice, afraid to attract attention to our hiding spot. “What is it?” he grunted slightly. “What’s the first thing you want to do when you get out of here?” I looked at him timidly. “Dunno...I think I’ll kiss you.” he spoke to nonchalantly that it sent shivers down my spine. “Y-You can do that here too. I mean, like...When you’re free.” I pressed on, hoping to hear something more humane. “Then, I’ll get a job, get paid, and take you out on a proper date.” he smirked softly, watching my face turn red. “...You shouldn’t be so obsessed with me. You should think of yourself too. I-I really don’t get why you think I’m so great anyway. I mean, I got pity-dated before. A-And I got trophy-dated. And someone lied and covered his obsessive carnal needs under the pretext of loving me. So, uhm...I dunno...But if 3 people decided I’m that of a girlfriend...Maybe there must be some truth behind it. You should settle for someone like me.” I looked away from, feeling my heart ache like never before. “And you’re telling me that I deserved getting cheated on?” he asked in a mocking tone, making me jolt in my place and retort rather vehemently. “No, of course not! Nobody deserves something as cruel as that! Especially not you!” I refuted his statement, which only made him chuckle. “Then why would an angel like you deserve any less? Honestly, you got those fuckers get to your head and you lost all sense of self-worth. You see...I have this...Thing. For showing people important to me that they are special. And there you have your answer.” he stroked my hair gently, making me calm down a bit.

We stood in that comforting silence for a little longer, until we decided that we waited long enough, and we should move out... However, that was the perfect opportunity to get attacked by the enemy Stand User, as it got me by the throat, as I could only dangle my legs in mid air, trying to gasp for air, before darkness took over me and I felt myself hitting the ground.

---

When I woke up, however, I found myself in some kind of abandoned warehouse, where I hugged my knees tightly to myself, looking around, trying to see everything around that was illuminated by the dim, flickering lights.

I was alone.

And I was much too scared to move from the corner in which I was huddled in.

What was I supposed to do...? I’m all alone. And I’m scared. Is this the work of an Enemy Stand User? Is this the work of the master of the Prison? Either way, I have no idea what to do.

This is the definition of “I’m screwed”.

As I tried to stop myself from crying, the door opened, and in front of me, with a huge, sadistic smirk, stood one my my exes, the one who still terrorizes my nightmares and who still keeps all my insecurities ablaze.

Wait, no...I’m wrong...

It’s not just one person...It’s all 3 of them, mashed together.

This can’t be...This is not normal, even for Stand powers...So what the hell...?

Wait...Did I just say...Nightmare?

Could this be a Nightmare? Could the Enemy Stand’s power be based on people’s worst fears?

Does that mean that Narciso is also witnessing and trying to fight his fears?

Oh goodness, if that’s true...I have to get out of here and help him...

I have to...I must...But why can’t I move my legs...? And why am I shaking like this? Is this also the work of the Stand?

Oh, no, silly me, this feeling is all too familiar to me...It’s fear. It’s helplessness.

I already know what’s gonna happen to me is inevitable...It already happened so many times times before...

He would pin me down, I would protest and try to fight back, and yet....

I didn’t realise how hard I was spiraling, until I heard a familiar voice, screaming out in despair...Almost like a wail...

That voice...It was Narciso.

I didn’t realise when I bolted to my feet, my Stand setting the monstrosity of my combined exes on fire, for the Divine Retribution, and I ran through the door, trying to follow his voice, only to find him on the ground, bloody, a version of myself and another woman, dressed both in skimpy clothes, standing over him with knives in their hands, wearing the same kind of sadistic grins as the horror in the other room.

The fire of rage ignited so hard in my heart that I set them both on fire, not even caring about my mirror image, and wrestling the knife out of their hands, I started stabbing them...

I was being blinded by anger...I never felt something like this in my life...It was absolutely terrifying...

But I had to save Narciso...And without him awake and safe, neither of us could get out of here.

I used my Stand’s Divine Redemption to start healing him up, but I couldn’t focus too much on that, as from the room in front of me, huge zombie-like abominations carrying chainsaws seemed to blindly approach our room.

I cursed myself for playing too much The Evil Within and Resident Evil, and I started dragging the semi-conscious man out of that room, using the 3rd door, only to find myself in a large room that had 2 ropes hanging from the wooden, most likely rotten beams above.

The only thing I could do was climb on the first rope while Lilium used the bottom part of it to make a swing-like knot, so I could sit, while I would use my arms to coil around the rope and drag myself up, along with Anasui on my lap, as closer to the top as possible, to avoid getting attacked, while Lilium would fight them, as much as she could, despite not being a powerful attack type, and my mental strength wavering from all the physical strength I was overusing.

“Narci...Narci, dear, please wake up...I don’t know how long I can keep this up...My arms are hurting so much...The rope is digging into my arms, making me bleed...And you’re so heavy...” I pleaded for him to wake up, seeing as one of the zombies got directly under us and used the chainsaw to cut at my thighs, making me scream in agony and force myself to climb further and further.

Lilium couldn’t take it...I couldn’t take it either...I was feeling my body beginning to lose all its strength...I was going to fall...

“Fuck...Did I make you cry, Y/Nick? Gosh, I’m such a failure as a man...And as your future husband. I will never forgive myself for making you protect me...When I should be to one to protect you.” he growled in anger and disappointment as he jumped off and started killing all of them with such ease, that it was almost with grace.

I finally felt myself beginning to calm down, the adrenaline rapidly disappearing, and I let go of the ropes, falling to the ground like a ragged doll, thanking every deity existent that we were both okay.

When he finished taking care of the enemies, he returned to me and falling to his knees, pulled me in a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I fucked up. I don’t deserve to be your husband. I was weak, I couldn’t protect you when you needed me the most...I should have been there to save you, not the other way around...And because of me, you got hurt.” he growled, obviously hating himself for something like that. “Narci...Please don’t say that. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to escape my own room...And now, it was you who saved us, not me. You were the one to give me strength, so please, don’t be upset.” I threw my arms around his neck, cradling him. “I really don’t deserve an angel like you...” he muttered, which only made me scoff and pull him in a deep kiss, which made him widen his eyes in utmost shock. “You’re my husband, I won’t allow you to pull yourself down like that. You promised to stay by my side from now on, so do that! I need you NOW and I need you FOREVER, so don’t you dare go back on your promise, do you hear me, Narciso Anasui?!” I shook him by the shoulders lightly, as he could only nod, still in shock. “Let’s get out of here. We’re going home.” he said in a firm voice, picking me up bridal style, as we started looking for the way out.

The way out was actually killing all the monsters, which was much like a symbolism to killing our own nightmares and traumas, and in a way, it felt empowering to finally have someone by my side to help me go through the darker periods of my life.

And together, we succeeded, and found ourselves back to our hiding spot, with the master of the prison laying down in a pool of his own blood, dead.

Smiling at each other in accomplishment, we held hands, intertwining our fingers together, and ran the hell outta there to the meeting spot, where everyone was waiting for us a bit impatiently, but it all worked out, and we were taken away by the Speedwagon Foundation.

Jolyne and Emporio went to live with her family, Foo, Hermes and Weather got a house close by, while I and Anasui were lucky to get our own place, since we were ‘married’. To top it off, SPW provided us with jobs and the possibility to get any kind of degree we wanted, so of course, with my Stand ability, I chose Medicine, while Anasui chose something to his own strengths, so he chose Engineering, and thankfully enough, both jobs were rather profitable, so we could afford to pay back everything in a short time period.

Days, weeks, months passed, and living together with Anasui proved to be as natural as breathing, and our routine was making us forget about all the troubles we encountered during our lives.

Night time, however, proved to be much cruel, as nightmares were still plaguing us, playing on our insecurities, trying to weaken us...And I was already weak.

“It’s alright, darling, don’t worry, it was just a nightmare. I’m here now, calm down, it already passed.” Anasui pulled me in his arms, showering me with kisses all over my face, playing with my hair, the lights on to shoo away the nightmares. “Don’t leave me, Narci. Please don’t leave me. I’m so scared...I don’t think I could stay by myself. I love you, please don’t leave me.” I clinged to him, crying, not able to calm myself down. “I love you, Y/Nick. You are my wife, how could I leave you? I promised you, I would stay by your side for the rest of my life...Ah...Okay, fine, I was going to keep this until your birthday, but...” getting up from the bed, he went to the wardrobe and pulled out a little pink satin box, and got in front of me, kneeling, and looking at me with a tender expression. “I guess choosing the right time is better, especially if this will reassure you that I will never leave you, or cheat on you...Or anything. You have no idea of the effect you have on me...That you’ve always had, since we met that day. I need you more than you need me. I cling on the kindness and light that you show me, more than flowers lean towards the Sun and moths go towards the light. I love you, Y/N, and if you ever doubt it, I will be here to remind you that you are the most important being in my life and I will treasure you forever. Will you officially be my wife?” he confessed, a soft smile on his face, as I couldn’t stop myself from crying harder, nodding vigorously. “O-Of course! There’s nothing else that I’d want more than to spend the rest of my life together with you...I love you so much, Narci...I will never understand why you can hold so much love for me...But I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I don’t deserve you, but...But now you are my husband...And I’m so happy...I’m so happy, I don’t even have the words to express it...” I hid my face with my hands, to try to stop myself from blushing, but it was in vain.

Chuckling, Anasui got back on the bed, putting the ring on my finger and pulling me into another embrace, wiping my tears and kissing me passionately, then cuddled again, holding tightly to each other.

“I love you endlessly, Y/N.”

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crygimethydgoode · 3 years

Text

Lover’s Fantasia Chapter 5 (Crystal Methyd x Gigi Goode RPDR12) Green Light

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32286397/chapters/80979646

Summary: After Crystal and Gigi’s... adventure in New York City, everything has changed between them. And also, Drag Race Season 12 has premiered! Must be exciting to watch from home.

honey i’ll be seeing you down every road

March 2020

Between: COVID edition

Gigi had learned to bask in the silence. The streets of L.A. were bare. She was supposed to be doing viewings of every episode at bars, she was supposed to be meeting fans around the country, maybe even around the world, and enjoying her new fame. But instead, Gigi just sat inside the House of Avalon and watched as Covid cases went up and the quarantine extended.

Rosy, Gigi, Symone, and Hunter started going on drives, just to kill time. Sometimes Marko or Caleb would hop in, but most of the time it was just the four of them. Rosy and Gigi sat in the back, Gigi’s favorite seat to see the views. While Symone sat shotgun, navigating Hunter who drove. Rosy had hooked up to AUX and had already hit shuffle on her driving playlist. They drove with all the windows down, letting the wind blow on their faces. Crystal would love this. Crystal. Crystal, who had been silent since New York. They had texted here and there, but only a few short texts that didn’t amount to any conversations. Gigi couldn’t help but assume it was about the kiss.

“Okay but that could be a good or a bad thing,” Symone said to Gigi after Crystal didn’t answer her call.

“Definitely good,” Rosy squealed.

“Definitely bad,” Hunter argued.

“Both?” Rosy suggested.

“None of you are helping!” Gigi yelled, head in hands.

“Maybe she’s reconsidering everything!”

“Or she’s regretting kissing you and now things are awkward,” Hunter quipped.

“You’re both fucking dumb. She’s only been home from press week for two weeks and now she’s in quarantine. Give the girl time to figure her shit out,” Symone said, shutting Rosy and Hunter both up. Gigi remembered why she appreciated Symone so much.

And so Gigi shook the thought of Crystal out of her head and focused on having fun with her friends as they drove around. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and was shocked when she saw the caller ID. Widow? Why would Widow be calling Gigi?

“Rosy, turn it down, Widow is calling,” Gigi said. Just as Rosy turned down the music, “Green Light ” by Lorde started playing.

“I do my makeup in somebody else's car”

“Hello?” Gigi asked hesitantly.

“Hi, Geege, how have you been?” Widow sounded cheery. Way too cheery for Widow.

“Great- uhm, yeah no I’ve been great, you?” Hunter shot Gigi a puzzled look, Gigi just shrugged.

“I’ve just been enjoying my quarantine, thinking about learning how to cook...” Widow trailed off.

“And?” Gigi was now suspicious of Widow. If there was one thing Gigi knew about Widow it was she was not one for small talk. If Widow called you, she had something to say.

“And I’ve talked to Crystal a bit, and you’ll never guess who she is quarantining with,” Widow said, mischief ridden in her voice.

“Paul?” Gigi asked, sitting up straighter at the mention of Crystal.

“They’re talking about Crystal! Put it on speaker,” Rosy begged. Gigi hushed everyone before putting Widow on speaker.

“No. She’s quarantined with Lux...” Widow trailed off.

“Oh, cool?” Gigi said. Symone’s jaw dropped, Hunter clasped a hand over his mouth, Rosy screamed.

“No fucking way...” Hunter muttered. Why? It’s just Lux.

“Am I missing something here?” Gigi chuckled awkwardly.

“Jesus Gigi, read between the lines,” Widow laughed into the phone. Crystal was quarantined with Lux. Crystal was quarantined with Lux. Crystal was quarantined with Lux. Crystal was quarantined with Lux and not Paul. Why wasn’t Crystal quarantined with Paul? Why wasn’t Crystal quarantined with-

“Oh,” Gigi said. “OH. Oh my fucking god, holy shit, Widow did Crystal-”

“Yes. Yes, she did. Yes she fucking did. Do what you will with this information,” Widow cackled. Symone had turned around and grabbed Gigi’s hand, a wild grin on her face. Rosy was slapping Hunter over and over again whispering “I fucking told you'' repeatedly. Gigi sat there, stunned.

Crystal Methyd broke up with her boyfriend.

Crystal Methyd broke up with her boyfriend after they kissed in the Uber. Crystal Elizabeth Methyd kissed Gigi Goode, Gigi in the Uber, and maybe, just maybe her lips burned as much as Gigi’s did. Crystal Elizabeth Methyd kissed Gigi in the Uber and it made her lips burn so much she couldn’t bear to kiss Paul anymore. But that was wishful thinking, Gigi knew that. So why did it echo throughout her body, rattling her ribs, pumping blood to her heart, ringing through her ears? It was wishful thinking, but why didn’t it feel like it? Why did it feel all too real?

“I’M WAITING FOR IT THAT GREEN LIGHT I WANT IT”

“Gigi? You with us?” Widow said, snapping Gigi out of her trance.

“What do I do?” Gigi asked.

“Call her!” Symone and Rosy both said together.

“What if she doesn’t pick up? She probably won’t, she might not want to hear from me and I don’t want to push-”

“Jesus Christ, Gigi, fucking call Crystal,” Hunter cut Gigi off.

“Okay, I gotta go Widow! I’m gonna call Crystal,” Gigi said, laughing like an idiot.

“Go! Call her!” Widow said before hanging up.

“Now you fucking listen to me-”

“Shhh! It’s ringing!” Rosy squealed. Okay. Gigi couldn’t go out and blatantly ask her, that would be rude, she’d build up. ‘Ask her how her quarantine is going, ask her how her quarantine is going, ask her how-’ and then Crystal picked up, and Gigi’s heart dropped. She was silent. Rosy slapped her.

“Hi,” Gigi said a second too late.

“Hello?” Crystal giggled. Gigi relaxed at just the sound of Crystal’s voice. What was she going to ask again?

“You broke up with Paul,” Gigi blurted.

“Jesus Christ-” Symone sighed. Gigi heard a laugh that wasn’t Crystal’s, it was Lux.

“Yeah... yeah I did,” Crystal chuckled. Her voice sounded warm, Gigi melted.

“I- uhm was just chatting with Widow and it came up in conversation,” Gigi lied.

“Did it now?” Crystal questioned, but she didn’t sound angry or annoyed, she sounded...happy? Or Gigi hoped she did.

“Yeah and I just thought I’d... give you a call?” she said, covering her face with her hand as if Crystal could see her. Crystal and Lux both burst out laughing.

“You’re a terrible liar, Gigi Goode,” Crystal wheezed.

“Shut up...” Gigi hoped Crystal couldn’t hear her grinning over the phone. She caught Hunter’s eye, for once he wasn’t giving Gigi a pointed look, but a smile. “Well, I hope this quarantine doesn’t last too long, cause I think I need to pay you a visit soon,” Gigi said. Again, Symone’s jaw dropped, Hunter’s hand clasped over his mouth, and Rosy AND Lux screamed.

“Sounds like a plan,” Crystal whispered into the phone.

“Okay,” Gigi giggled.

“Okay.”

“Alright, I’m driving with Rosy, Hunter, and Symone so I’m gonna let you go,” Gigi said.

“Okay, bye Gigi,” Crystal whispered.

“Bye.” Gigi hung up the phone. The car was silent for a few moments until-

“Holy fucking shit-”

“Did that actually just happen?-”

“Guys I’m crying-”

“Rosy was actually right-”

“Oh my fucking god-”

Gigi just sat there, not even hearing what any of her friends were saying over one another. She just looked ahead at the streetlight shining green.

April 2020

One month. One month of quarantining, hand sanitizer, and wearing masks. Life had become so mundane, Gigi missed going to the grocery store. Wasn’t this supposed to be one of the best times of her life? Every Friday night Gigi got to sit in the House of Avalon and watch herself on TV, her fanbase growing every day. Why was she so bored, despite the fact that she was so busy?

Once Drag Race aired, Gigi’s life became a whirlwind of digital press interviews, photoshoots, Instagram Lives, and everybody in the country suddenly knowing who she was. Not to mention, they were starting to prepare for the finale, which unfortunately had to be held at home, all recorded on Grant’s iPhone. And it was really hard to enjoy it. COVID was still tearing through the world, and Gigi was stuck at home, quarantining with the House of Avalon. While she loved everyone, Gigi had lost nearly everything that was so fun about being on the show. No traveling, filming the finale, hosting watch parties, none of it.

And she never got to go to Springfield, to see Crystal. Crystal. Who was quarantined with Lux and her roommate. Because Paul was... out of the picture. Gigi didn’t know much. But Rosy and Symone had come to the conclusion that Crystal kissed Gigi, knew she was in too deep, that she couldn’t just get over her, and broke things off with Paul. And Gigi couldn’t help but agree.

Even Hunter didn’t object to what they said. Because... Crystal kissed Gigi. And then Paul was gone. It was real. Crystal wasn’t just a stupid crush Gigi had to get over. Hunter didn’t warn Gigi about getting her heart broken anymore. Gigi didn’t lie in bed and wonder if Crystal liked her. No. Now she laid in bed and thought about what it would be like when she finally got to see Crystal. If only fucking COVID would just end.

But Gigi could wait. In the meantime, she would enjoy Drag Race as much as possible. The fans were really eating up the season. Especially since everyone was so bored, locked inside. But the issue was, there wasn’t that much crazy drama this season. In the beginning, there was some drama but it was usually resolved within an episode. Gigi blamed Jackie for being so mature and bossy. And also, the girls just loved each other.

As the show progressed and they got closer, they basically just held hands and sang Kumbaya during Untucked. Gigi had fun, she loved it. But without the drama Drag Race was used to, the fans needed something else to cling to. And one of those things was Crystal and Gigi. Well- their... relationship? Flirtationship? The producers hadn’t even noticed it. But Gigi noticed. Gigi’s mom noticed. Everyone in the House of Avalon noticed. And so did everyone on Twitter. And then of course Crystal and Gigi added fuel to the fire on social media because they were bored and it was funny and… partially true. Anyways.

Crystal was so excited, immediately telling Gigi that they were the next Larry Stylinson, and needed to do this right because Crystal understood what the fans wanted. “Because Larry was amazing but it fucking hurt, Gigi. I can’t go through another Babygate,” she said one Friday night over FaceTime.

All Gigi could do was laugh. The fans had already become so taken with the ship. And once the Untucked moment of them nearly kissing was aired, it only got stronger.

There were people who genuinely believed that Crystal and Gigi were actually in a relationship. But those fans had no idea what was actually going on between them.

If only they knew. If only they knew. If only they knew.

But then again, Gigi also had no idea what was going on between her and Crystal. Other than the fact that she was given strict orders from the Drag Race producers that she couldn’t confirm or deny their relationship. And that she missed Crystal so much. She felt worlds away. All Gigi wanted was to go through their conjoined door, and crawl into bed with Crystal. Things had been so much easier, so much simpler in the summer. But it was spring now. Drag Race was worlds away too, forever just a memory.

But Gigi would see Crystal soon. Eventually, COVID would be over. It had to be. How long could it really last? Gigi really hoped things would be better by summer, at least. They had to be.

July 2020

Things didn’t get better by summer. Thanks to useless politicians and assholes in America refusing to follow COVID guidelines, Gigi was still stuck in L.A. in July. No Pride, no 4th of July barbecues, still no Drag Race tours, performances in clubs, trips to Springfield.

Gigi also hella lost Drag Race which she was actually okay with. Of course she wanted to win. But Gigi was so happy for Jaida and filled with so much love for all of her Season 12 sisters, she was just grateful she ever got the chance to go on Drag Race.

But still, she was aching to perform live, to see Crystal and everyone else again. And then one afternoon in early July, Gigi got a Facetime call from Jaida Essence Hall that left her glowing gold with hope.

“GIGIIIIIIIIII!” Jaida, the reigning queen of season 12 yelled into the phone.

“JAIDA!” Gigi screamed back, so excited to see her season twelve sister again, even if it was just through the phone. “I miss you bitch!”

“Miss Gigi Goode I miss you too! And that’s why I’m calling you! Gimme one second, I’m trying to add Crystal to the call,” Jaida muttered, looking down at her phone. Suddenly Crystal’s face was on the screen too.

“JAIDA!!!” Crystal cheered, and everything felt right in the world again. “Hi Gigi!” Crystal added, waving into the camera. They had just Facetimed the night before, but Gigi still couldn’t get over how beautiful Crystal was. Still couldn’t get over how happy she was to see her.

“Now listen bitches,” Jaida said, getting their attention back. “I miss y’all! And if you didn’t know, I am going on tour with Drive N Drag. So I thought, at one of our stops, you two could come join me on the tour. We’ll perform together, drink together, maybe you two will make out or something. It’ll be so fun! Say yes,” Jaida said quickly, and Gigi didn’t have to think about it for even a second. And Crystal didn’t either. Because they both started screaming, yelling that yes of course they’ll come. Of course. “OKAY WAIT WHAT CITY ARE Y’ALL COMING TO THOUGH?” Jaida had to yell over them.

“Chicago!” Crystal immediately said. “It’s semi-close to me, and Gigi can see her family! And I really wanna see Chicago. It’ll be nice,” Crystal explained, and Gigi didn’t bother hiding her fond smile.

“Crystal…” Gigi muttered, and she didn’t remember the last time she smiled this big, the last time her chest had ached like this.

“Alright it looks like you two are about to have a moment, so I’m gonna get out of here. Chicago is the first weekend in August! I’ll send you the dates, and you’ll be emailed all the information soon. You should do a little dance together or something! Bye bitches I love you!” Jaida quickly hung up, and it was just Crystal and Gigi FaceTiming now.

“So… I guess I’ll see you the first week of August,” Crystal said slyly, and Gigi could feel her heart beating in her chest, could feel tears welling in her eyes.

Finally finally finally

“I’ll see you the first week of August, Miss Crystal Elizabeth,” Gigi sang, and they were both silent for a moment, just looking at each other. Gigi hadn’t seen Crystal since February. And now, in less than two months, they would be spending nearly a week together. “How have we gone so long without seeing each other? Being away from you like this… just doesn’t make sense. We’re not supposed to be apart like this. It’s not fair,” Gigi breathed.

“I know,” Crystal said, somewhat sadly. But Gigi could still see how excited she was.

“I don’t wanna bring the mood down though. I'M GONNA SEE YOU IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS BITCH!” Gigi exclaimed, and they were both yelling again, just so excited. So excited. So ready. They talked for a little bit, already making plans for all the places Gigi wanted to take Crystal. And then it was time to say bye.

“Well Gigi… I’ll just say this,” Crystal began, a glint in her eye. “After all this time apart… after all these nights alone just… just missing you. Wishing you were with me… I’ll see you soon. We’re gonna see each other, we’re gonna be TOGETHER, and the wait will have been worth it. Because we’re worth the wait,” Crystal said softly, and Gigi really didn’t want to cry. But Crystal wasn’t making it easy.

“I’ll see you soon,” Gigi whispered, and soon they hung up. And so she started counting down the days until Chicago. And although she didn’t know it, so was Crystal. And Gigi knew, things would truly never be the same after Drive N' Drag.

#gigi goode #Crystal Methyd #crystal methyd x gigi goode #crygi #crygimethydgoode #fanfic #fanfic rec #drag queen fanfic #crygi fanfic #rpdr12 #rupauls drag race #RPDR #Lover’s Fantasia #please read this we promise you’ll love it #complete

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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calypsoff · 3 years

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Sixteen. Part 4

Walking around with a gut full of Chris’ babies and his tee on, life is great. It is what I have craved, and then this heat. I smiled closing my eyes as I moved my face up to the sun, this is what I want. I am happy, and the sex was great, I can never get bored of Chris’ dick game, he is so fucking good at it. Stepping outside smiling to myself, just on time. Mel started to call, she said she was. Chris is still asleep; he is tired which doesn’t shock me. I even shifted him from me, and he didn’t move at all, I love the soreness. I also love that Chris has been eating fruit, it was better to swallow, tasty I would say “Morning!” Mel spat “good morning friend” sitting down on the lounger, a little sore I would say. I can feel it now, the soreness “damn” I breathed out “mhmmm so how is Mexico? Spill the tea, unless Chris is there?” I smirked “he is asleep, I think I wore him out. I wore him out, you know” I can’t stop smiling “wore him out? How did he take the handcuffs?” I giggled “he uhm at first didn’t trust me, made me twirl around with my booty out. And I just used my cute face, he agreed but he was annoyed. His wrists were sore, so he says. But it was good, we had a good night. I did think I would be sleeping with him but I woke up early and I am talking to you. I actually wore him out, girl I was riding him but then I took the handcuffs off him and he gripped me to the bed” Mel screamed down the phone and so did I “you are having the time of your life! How many times!?” she half shouted “girl, I don’t know. I think he came about six times; I don’t know. Maybe it was pre-cum but I got him good, one minute I want to light my blunt” placing the phone down, I am so happy like I feel so good, I want to ride him right now.

Blowing the smoke out from my lips “I am back girl, but yeah. Its wild but my sex drive has been turned on and I can’t stop, I orgasm so hard. Bitch, I do!” Mel can’t stop laughing “the fuck has happened to you? Like seriously? You and Rakim didn’t have any sex, the hell. What changed” I shrugged “because I fancy my man, my best friend, my childhood lover. He is everything I have wanted Mel and I am happy. Oh and” placing the blunt between my lips “oh and what bitch? Girl you are bad, like forget him biting your damn neck, you are the worst now. Out of nowhere” blowing the smoke out from my lips “I ain’t taking the pill, I have been off for like six or seven weeks now” the phone went silent “you both playing with fire!?” Mel shouted “well me, but I want a baby” I am being deadass “wait, hold on Robyn. Baby, what the fuck is happening? What do you mean me? Chile, you have a career. You are doing it at the wrong time, why are you doing this?” they going to call me crazy “I just want to be a mother, I couldn’t care less for this life Mel. I am happy to be not famous, I am content with this” Mel is speechless I get it but I want a baby, I want to have a baby with him “and Chris is ok with this?” clearing my throat “maybe not but he will be fine, if it happens then it happens. Chris says no but then he gets over it, I want to be a young mother Mel. I can still do all this shit; I just want to have a family. I want a husband, I just want the family I didn’t get, and I will do everything I can do keep that” Mel doesn’t approve clearly “he deserves to know” Mel mumbled “when it happens, I am telling you about this situation and that is it” she needs to accept it.

Placing my hand on his chest and pecking his lips “Chris, baby. Wake up” a smile formed on his face, he is awake “wake up my love” pressing a kiss to his lips “morning” he said groggily “I want this every waking morning, for you to be in my bed. Wake up, I am waiting to have something to eat ok?” Chris nodded his head and stretched out his body, he is so sexy. Shuffling off of the bed, he will come when he is ready, let me go and wait for him. Smiling wide walking over to the dining table, I am so in love and if they think I won’t drop my career, I would. Maybe I am crazy in love, I feel it but I just want him” pulling the chair back, sitting down slowly. I am still a little sore, I do understand Mel is not happy with me but if Chris and I did make it when we were younger, my life would have been so different, his life would be. He would have been famous; I just know it. I have been off the pill for a while now and I am just thinking when will I get caught but I got a little feeling in my stomach, I think maybe it’s just me but I am late with my period and I haven’t said anything, leaving it in god’s hands if I am, then I am.

Here is my lazy man, look at him half sleepy “I smell like you, sniff my face” Chris leaned into me, sniffing his face “it smells divine” I snorted laughing “not wrong though, smells wonderful. Love you though” he pulled the chair out “so, gather yourself together so we can go and explore together as a couple. Take you to some spots that I like, I know you will love it” Chris cooed out shuffling his chair in “I am here for it, I am going to tan while I am out here. I look a little tanned, but I need it more. I am too light skinned right?” he isn’t wrong “so can I, remember when I started getting so pale because of how cold it was in Virginia? You called me Casper” Chris busted out laughing “oh shit, I did. Casper the green eyed ghost, oh my god. How do I come out with such shit and you don’t whoop my ass about it. I have called you a lot of things, it’s crazy because we have done so much together in such little time. Wild” watching Chris pour the OJ into the glass “that is because we spent every day together Chris, weekend included. Was you intrigued by me?” tilting my head to the side “I was, like I ain’t ever seen a forehead that big” hitting his arm “why do you have to be this way” I chuckled “I am joking but yeah, you were different. You are from the islands and your accent, your face, your small titties. It just caught me” I swear, I hate him “you’re so annoying, mr I am tired. You are so weak” kissing my teeth “you know how hard I came!? You know how much strength it takes from me to ejaculate!? Not my fault you don’t have an off switch” he is not wrong I don’t “not my fault I be feeling horny” annoying ass.

The many reasons why I love coming to Mexico is because I get to do what I like without having my bodyguard around, I don’t get harassed at all “where we going again? I don’t remember you mentioning it” I actually did but he doesn’t remember “so we are going to Gran Cenote, Best Cenote in Tulum, just you and I and good vibes. Honestly you will love it” I am saying this but I haven’t been there, I just got Jen to research it and it sounded good “been there before” see how I knew he would ask that “no” I couldn’t help but smile because he got me “but you know it’s good” waving him off “don’t be so negative” Chris snorted laughing “it’s ok, I trust you. To be honest I would be happy to be just in that beautiful home you got us in, it’s amazing” then it came to me, he is wearing jeans “Chris, did you bring any other clothes? How are you wearing jeans in this heat” I should have done a spot check on his clothes, I am so dumb “mhmm, what is wrong with jeans?” is he hot or cold “because we are on holiday together and it’s hot here! You should be wearing light colours, I can only imagine how heated it is around your dick, you are so musty. So you got nothing else?” he shook his head “you know what, I will get the driver to take us to get you some swimming trunks, you will need it. I promise you” Chris sighed out, he is annoyed but he is actually the annoying one wearing jeans and a tee but I love him, including his stupidity “excuse me” the driver looked in his rear-view mirror “before we get there can you take us to get some clothes, men’s please” I was expecting Chris to refuse but he didn’t, he knows he is stupid but my fault I should have checked before going with him.

The driver took us to this very cute boutique, I am impressed “thank you” I said to the driver “you don’t need to walk us in” I think I will walk with my stupid boyfriend here, the store assistant eyes widened but she bowed her head “welcome, welcome” stepping into the store “hi” the guy behind the cashier desk came up to us “welcome to Crasqi Rihanna, I am Viktor” he shook my hand, I assumed he was going to be Mexican but no, just a regular American, maybe he moved here. He shook Chris’ hand “Chris” looking around the store “Viktor, welcome” stepping to the side “my boyfriend here decided to wear jeans when we are going to Gran Cenote” the guy chuckled “well you come to the right place, we have the full range. Are you looking to swim” nodding my head “I am, and he will be but he isn’t saying much, speak up” looking behind me “yeah” Chris side eyed me, but he is stupid “I want to get him a few swim shorts and some pants for this weather too, he is ok with top but if you can show him the range and he can change into it. Also you got slides?” I would like to kick Chris, he looks like a goof “come right this way” gesturing Chris to go ahead of me, he can choose what he wants.

Chris has gone to change into the shorts, least he is wearing a tee but I do understand Chris. He doesn’t have holiday clothes because he hasn’t been away like that that so I won’t keep bringing it up with him because if so, he will end up being angry at me about it but he really needs to know how to dress. I wonder if he will let me pay, I doubt it but I won’t be pushing him about it if he wants to do it “he is taking him time” I said laughing, he is taking ages “I am done” he walked out of the dressing room with his shorts on and tee “see, you look better. You got your stick legs out and everything” looking down to his feet “I bet your feet feel free, maybe put your socks on under the slides, give me your clothes” walking over to him, taking his jeans and sneakers from him “my feet ugly?” shaking my head smiling “you can take them off when we get there, do it” Chris nodded his head “you can sit here sir and do it” Viktor gestured him too “thank you” while he is doing that I can go and pay, he won’t notice and this will be nothing anyways.

Folding his jeans while back in the car “taking care of me?” Chris grinned at me, smiling lightly at him “I am, there is a reason why I do at times buy on the go. Different climates, if I am going Barbados I know how to dress there but mainly if I am on the road and I am in Europe, it’s unpredictable so I just kind of buy on the go. You will get used to it” placing his folded jeans on my lap “it’s Texas, you know. I don’t be predicting things. I am a simple man Robyn, my bad” he shrugged “stop it, it’s fine Chris. I want to spoil you” Chris sighed out “you paid too, thank you. For everything, you really opening my eyes to things and just the simple fact you got my legend Lebron to say that to me and now this, thank you. I find it hard sometimes. Sometimes I want to be like no but I remembered I said I would let you. If I see it as Robyn I am cool, still a little freaked out about Rihanna, I mean ask the driver. Can you imagine that you got Rihanna here” he is so stupid “speechless friend” Chris eyeballed me “see!” shaking my head “stop it” I mumbled, I would like to say for him to get over it but I can’t, that would be rude of me because it is new to him still.

Getting out of the car “Miss Fenty, I am guide” the guy didn’t wait a second “hi” I smiled, throwing Chris’ jeans in the backseat “I am Juan, welcome” pulling down my beach dress “thank you” smiling at him, looking to the side of me and Chris finally appeared “I am your guide” he shook Chris’ hand “nice to meet you” Chris said and then looked at me “what?” I shook my head “is it far this place?” he asked, I knew he would “like wearing slides won’t hurt?” the guy looked down at Chris “I understand what you mean, no it’s not far. I am taking you there and that is it. We usually do a longer version, but it’s personalised to you Rihanna” he smiled at me, like the type of smile you give to someone you love, holding onto Chris’ hand “miss Fenty would you like me to come with as protection?” the driver thinks he is my bodyguard “no we are fine, let’s go Juan. I am sure Chris will protect me” Chris rolled his eyes “did you put sun cream on?” I asked him, I mean I thin I know the answer “no” I knew it “you’re a good boy” I said through gritted teeth.

This is so amazing, like I haven’t been here “Gran Cenote is comprised of a river like open air cenote flanked by two snorkelling areas and surrounded by caves and caverns” there is literally a hug gap in the cave, and I can see the crystal clear water, it’s a little scary to look down. I let out a scream as Chris jokingly pushed me “idiot” Juan laughed “Rihanna you would be fine, you can free dive off this, nothing would happen to you” I don’t think so, is he crazy “these are water-filled sinkholes that naturally occur in limestone rock when an underground cave collapses in on itself and exposes the groundwater underneath. There are thousands of cenotes dotted around but you can free dive, it’s not high at all, it looks it but you can jump in” looking at Chris “let’s do it” frowning at Chris “uhm, I mean I can swim but still, I mean I am used to the water” Chris wants to do it “are you sure it’s safe? I mean the water is so clear, but we won’t die? It is deep enough” Juan placed his hand over his heart “I would not danger Rihanna, I promise you. I have done it myself, see the couple across there, watch them do it” the guy just did a little run and jumped down, my eyes widened watching him free fall down and then splashed “it’s not far down” he says that but, is the guy even alive but he is. His head popped up from the water “then you climb up the stairs back here, I promise it is fun” I am between saying no and wanting to do it, looks fun” if I don’t I know Chris will.

I feel so nervous “you won’t let go of my hand right? You won’t let me drown either? You promise, if you let my hand go I will cry” Chris laughed “promise, when I count to three we both run and jump?” I feel the adrenalin right now in my body, I am nervous “I will video you both running, when you ready!” Juan shouted, I told him to video us “not let my hand go” I said again” Chris laughed “I promise, right? I am going to start counting. So one, two, three” Chris moved but I didn’t, I was testing him and he stopped “what?” I snorted laughing “I was testing to see if you did hold my hand and not let go, seriously. I am a little scared, like still?” Chris groaned out “baby, it’s fine. You spider monkey, you will climb anything. We start again and you count, I promise I got you” now we got to start again, hearing a little cheering. Then I see that couple just cheering on, I wish they didn’t “fine, one… two… three” Chris and I started to run and then we both jumped, feeling myself fall and I let out the loudest scream I could.

I can’t believe I just did that, looking “you did it!!” Juan shouted, feeling Chris pull me to him “that was nothing, I want to do it again actually” wrapping my arms around his neck “this is nice, look at it” looking around us, this is really a cave too. Chris pressed kisses to the side of my face “this water is so clear” looking to him “it is, see I told you I got you. I didn’t even let go of your hand but I think I fell in deeper than you, I am fat” he chuckled “my ass, you just a man” pressing a kiss to his lips “I liked it though, and I got to do it with you. Makes it even better, let’s go to see the guide. Before we just stay here forever” Chris moved to swim away, I did think he would let my hand go but he didn’t. He pulled me along “you can swim?” I said confused “mhmmm no, I seen it on films. I ain’t scared of it, I got you” I like that, turns me on actually. He yanked me ahead of him “climb up then” I love a protective man; he is the best.

Taking a sip from the cocktail, I am tired, and I didn’t even do anything “we made memories” Chris passed my phone back “we did, good video. I feel like this is our honeymoon” I really do “it does, I was thinking the same thing “we think alike, that is twin behaviour” I pointed to him “we see each other” I giggled “we do, so when you go back to Cali you doing what?” he asked “rehearsals, few days. Because I am using old content I don’t need to really do anything big, then rest day and then I am off to my first date. Hopefully you are coming? You are staying with me right?” I want him to just stay “uhhh no, what I am thinking is to go back to Virginia, see my family. Go to Texas and then me and the boys meet you there. I want to see my mom before going, she keeps asking. She misses me” I don’t want to sound selfish, but I will “fine, you are coming though yes?” he nodded his head “I am, promise. Then while I am there I can catch up on my social media things. I know like things are a little wild, I see people using my mug shot too. Rihanna got a thug in her life, they don’t like that I am a soft nigga, I ain’t like I was but what can I do to stop it you know” squinting at him “does it bug you? With what they are saying, they don’t know you and I am not even give then content, I will post when I need too, I think once I start doing my promo for the album the question will come up and I am going to tell them what kind of man I got in my life, you’re the sweetest guy” Chris put his head down smiling, he is so sweet.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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franboos · 4 years

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I don’t want to be your friend i want to kiss you neck

a vds college roommate fic

written by @gucciboner and me <3

word count: 2160

chapter two, part 3

whole chapter two is also on a03

previous part

“Jens! You need to mix the paint first.” Lucas says while walking up to Jens.

They finally found some time to start decorating the living room. All the walls are pure white, so it looks a bit boring. They all came to the conclusion that the wall on the left side of the room needed to be painted. It took them some time to agree over a colour, since everyone wanted something different. Last night they did a voting and finally came up with the colour “cadet blue”, it is somewhere between green and blue in. Friso said that it will give the living room a homey feeling.

So now Jens is crouched down next to the bucket of paint, ready to dip his brush in it.

He turns around when he hears Lucas voice, “what, why?”

“Because the colour is made of different base colours and it isn’t always fully mixed yet.”

“Okay mister artist, what do I mix it with?”

Lucas walks to the bag of the paint shop and takes a wooden mixing stick out. He turns back to Jens and sits down next to him and starts mixing the paint. You can still see some different shades of blue and some dark spots of red in the paint.

“You see?” Lucas says with a grin, satisfied with the fact that the paint indeed needed to be mixed some more.

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” Jens huffs.

“You’re just mad that I was right.”

Jens rolls his eyes and stands up. “Alright, can we paint now?”

“No, I think if we’ll wait just long enough, the wall will paint itself.”

“Omg,” Jens mutters, “you’re really on an ‘I’m gonna make Jens feel bad’ spree.”

Lucas giggles. The sound makes a feeling bubble up in Jens’ stomach that he can’t quite put his finger on. All he knows is that it sounds cute.

“Stop staring.”

Suddenly Jens shakes out of his thought. Was he staring? Oh.

“Sorry…”

Lucas shakes his head with a laugh. “Now get up, we have a wall to paint.”

Lucas grabs Jens by his hand to help him stand up. The touch gives Jens a tingling feeling through his body. Lucas hand feels warm against his, but it is complemented by the cold silver of his rings. His hand is just a bit smaller, so Jens holds it perfectly. It feels so safe.

When he is standing up straight he looks Lucas in the eye and Lucas is already looking back with a cute smile on his face. he realises that they are still holding hands. Should he let go? he really doesn’t want to, but it would be weird to just keep standing here, holding each others hands.

“Enjoying yourselves, guys?”

Lucas and Jens turn their heads at the same time to the person standing in the middle of the living room. It is Isa. Of Course, it had to be her.

Lucas let’s go first.

“I, eh, I helped him up.” Lucas stumbles over his words. Jens just keeps staring at his hands while Isa and Lucas are having an eye conversation.

“Yeah, okay sure. But I’m going to put this tv cabinet together,” she sighs while looking at all the pieces of wood and a lot of different screws in front of her, scattered down on the floor, “this is going take a while.”

“Ask Friso to help you, he is in his room. I think Ely is still out,” Lucas says, mostly to change the subject and make the atmosphere less uncomfortable.

“That’s a good one,” she says while walking out of the living room.

Jens already poured some paint onto the paint tray and is rolling his paint roller over it several times. When he is satisfied with the amount of paint, he stands up and faces the wall, but he doesn’t do anything.

“This is the part where you actually start painting, Jens,” Lucas says with a grin returning back on his face.

“You really are a paint in the ass, van der Heijden.” He rolls his eyes and starts walking closer to the wall. “I just don’t want to mess it up.”

“This is impossible to mess up, common.” He gets down to also grab a paint roller and rolls it through the paint. He then takes place next to Jens. He puts the roller on the wall and starts rolling up and down.

“Just like that, it’s very easy. Try it.”

Jens puts his roller to the wall and starts rolling it up and down. Of course he painted walls before, but he just doesn’t want to look stupid next to Lucas. Which he probably already failed at since Lucas must think that he is just dumb, because now it looks even more like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He was just stressing about the most random things all at once, when he stood in front of the wall. Like, maybe there was a certain way you should paint a wall that Jens didn’t know of and then Lucas would laugh at him? Or he holds the paint roller the wrong way?

These are the stupidest thoughts he has had in a long time. Why would there be a certain way to hold a paintbrush and why would Lucas care? Stupid Jens, you really are stupid, he thinks to himself. Inside his head, he groans.

“What? Already bored of painting?” Lucas laughs while lowering himself a bit so he can paint a part of the wall closer to the ground.

Okay, so he groaned out loud. Well done Jens. If Anyone could get a price for getting themselves in awkward situations, he would get it.

“No uh, was just thinking about all the stuff I still have to do for school…”

“Oh, you can just stop painting and work on school if you want,” Lucas says a little disappointed because he enjoys Jens company.

“And skip my painting session with you? Never.”

They give each other a smile before continuing to paint.

“It is awfully silent in here,” Isa says, while walking back into the living room with Friso trailing behind her.

“I can put on some music,” Lucas tells her.

“No no, I’m gonna put on some music.”

She walks to the corner with the tv because on the ground lays a speaker. This is one of the reasons they need a tv cabinet, so things like this aren’t randomly placed on the ground. Just like all the wires from the PlayStation, it’s one big mess.

She turns the speaker on and grabs her phone from her back pocket to connect it with Bluetooth.

Suddenly the whole living room is filled with some dutch folk music. Isa has the biggest smile on her face and starts singing along while moving around the living room. But Lucas groans.

“Isa! You gotta learn to listen to good music, nobody likes this.”

“You already told me that a million times, so I’m gonna tell you for the millionth time that everybody has different music taste, Luc,” she says while still dancing around.

“Whatever, my ears are unable to listen to this crap, so please play some different music.”

Jens laughs beside him, “you’re really not fond of this kind of music, aren’t you?”

“Really any kind of dutch music. I’d rather Jump off a cliff and drown then to listen to that for a whole day.”

“Okay, you can exaggerate, Luc,” Isa says while rolling her eyes. “Do you like it Jens?”

“Ehm, well… I uhm. Not really?” he says carefully, not wanting to make his new roommate upset because he doesn’t like her music taste. “I do like dutch rap, but not this folksy shit, sorry.”

“Alright then, that's fair.” She turns to Friso, “what about you?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I think you’re to only one here who likes it,” Friso says with a giggle.

“Okay, okay. You win Lucas.” She shakes her head when Lucas beams a smile of victory.

“But just because Jens and Friso answered so nicely, I’ll change it. What do you want me to play boys?” She looks at the three guys.

Lucas is the first to react. “Play some from the 1975.”

“You always listen to that.”

“Yeah, because it is good music,” he states. “Come on now, play it.”

Isa opens up her phone and searches for the 1975. “Any particular song?”

“Just choose a playlist.”

A few moments later the Dutch music stopped and is changed to the 1975 filling up the living room. Lucas immediately starts to bop his head to the music while continuing to paint the wall. Jens looks at him for a second, he is so in trance with the music. It almost looks like he blocked everything happening around him out. His brown curls bounce up and down his forehead. Jens loves his curls. They look so soft, he really feels like reaching out and touching them. But before he can make a decision, Lucas looks back at him.

“You like what you see?” he says with a cocky smile.

“I uh, it’s just… uhm so you really like this band huh?” he tries to carefully talk around Lucas question. Because he indeed, liked what he saw. But no one needs to know that. Especially not Lucas. And maybe he self, doesn’t want to know. Because he doesn’t get why he feels like this when he looks at Lucas.

“I think I saw a poster of them in your room the other day.”

“very observant from you,” he says while continuing to paint, “but yeah, I like them for a long time now. Their music really relaxes me and help me through rougher times.”

“That’s cool. What song is playing now? I kinda like it.”

“Yeah, you like it?” Lucas says looking back at him with the biggest smile on his face. Jens thinks that if he smiles just a bit more, his face might break. “The song playing right now is ‘loving someone’. I could make you a playlist with my favourites if you’d like?”

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Jens says, returning the smile.

“What kind of music do you normally listen to?” Lucas asks, sounding genuinely interested.

“I mostly listen to rap music but also some R&B like Frank Ocean. But I maybe have a guilty pleasure for Harry Styles…” he confesses.

“No way, you listening to Harry?” he giggles. “Cute.” That comes out in a whisper.

“You find me listening to Harry ‘cute’?” Jens sees Lucas getting shy. For some reason, he likes it that he is the one making him feel like that.

“I just never would have guessed that you, Jens the cool skater guy, would listen to something like that,” he says in a mocking voice.

“You are a skater dude yourself, you know that right?” He laughs.

“Yes, I’m aware,” he says while rolling his eyes and moving a little bit more to Jens so he can reach a part of the wall that isn’t painted yet. “And Harry is cool though. He doesn’t care what people think of him. He is just totally himself.”

“Do you care what people think of you?” Jens asks, now a little bit more serious.

“I don’t know. Back in the Netherlands, I had a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality and just who I am, you know? But all my friends are really supportive and I love them, but I know there are people who aren’t as happy with people like me…”

“You know that they are the one who have some wires loose in their brain, right? They are in the wrong, not you or anyone else who supports or is part of the community. You shouldn't let those judgemental assholes get in the way of who you are.”

At this moment, they both stopped painting. They are just looking at each other. Jens still has that sweet but serious look on his face. That’s how Lucas can see that he really means what he just said, so that makes his smile slowly return to his face.

“Thank you for saying that and reminding me not all people are close-minded. Just like you.”

“You can always tell me if something bothers you, I’m a very good talker. I could talk all day long. Unless of course, you hate listening to me, that wouldn't really work.”

“I don’t mind listening to you, you have a nice voice.”

Now it is Jens turn to smile brighter, “and I don’t mind looking at you while I’m talking.”

But Isa breaks their moment. “Omg guys, stop flirting with each other and paint that damn wall.”

They both immediately start blushing. Jens turns back to the paint to roll his paint roller through it once again, and then focuses back on the wall. He feels Lucas’ eyes still on him, but he ignores it and keeps painting.

#wtfock #skam nl #enjoy #van der stoffles #vds #I don't want to be you friend I want to kiss your neck

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aboysbestfriendishismum · 4 years

Text

Chapter 56 - Secrets, mix tapes and jealousy

In the previous chapter: the special date set up by Angie turned out to be a disaster for her and it's coming to a even worse end, since Eddie doesn't seem interested into having sex with her. In the end though, they both manage to open up and talk about their feelings and insecurities and they make love for the first time. Despite all that, Angie's still firm on her decision not to tell anything to their friends. We find it out when the couple joins Jeff, Stone, Grace, McCready and Cornell at their usual go-to pub. Jeff sees them getting there together by car but entering the place in different moments to avoid suspects. From his thoughts about the matter, we find out that Jeff actually caught the two exchanging affectionate effusions a few days earlier, when Angie had brought a cake for him and Eddie before a show. At that time, Jeff preferred to silently and secretely leave before they could see him, so that they wouldn't be embarrassed. Thanks to his friends's advice, Jeff can finally put together a bunch of titles for the fake demo tape by Cliff Poncier, the main character of Cameron Crowe's movie, and then challenges Chris to actually write those songs.

“Did she knock him out?”

“Yeah, he went down like a sack of potatoes. And it was a pretty big sack” Angie lets go of my hand for a moment, just the time to mimic the body size of the guy, then takes it again, as we walk to her car.

“With a punch?”

“Actually, two”

“Given what he said to you, I'd have given him more” drunk or not, if you touch a woman you're crap, and if I run into you you're dead.

“You'd have beaten a dead horse, well, a dead sack of potatoes”

“Nuh, you're right: too little satisfaction. Anyway, hats off to Meg, cool girl”

“Yep... and to think that at the beginning I thought she was a vapid Barbie”

“What? You? Having prejudices about someone? It can't be!” I have fun picking on her. When I expressed very similar opinions about Violet she made me feel like shit.

“Hehe yeah, I confess, I made a mistake too, I'm human after all. Anyway, that's how we became friends and everything started”

“That's the perfect example of how something good can come out of a bad story too”

“See, so that guy deserves some credit too after all” as soon as we get to her Mini, Angie takes my other hand too and leans back against the back of the car, pulling me closer.

“Fucking credit. It happend ages ago and I wasn't even there and my hands are hitching to hit him good” it looks like taking me out to dinner to a Thai restaurant in the university district makes her feel safe enough from being possibly seen by our friends.

“Don't be upset” she tries and calm me with a kiss and I'd say it works great. But she doesn't need to know.

“Uhm... I'm still a little upset” I tell her after making a stupid scene, licking my lips and clicking my tongue as if I was trying to taste the kiss, just like a weird sommelier does after a sip of wine.

“Hahaha come on, let's go” she gives me another peck and opens the door, as I walk around the car to get to the passenger seat.

“Angie, I'm the last person who can give lectures about Seattle's street map, but weren't we supposed to turn left?” I ask her after our turn at the second crossroad.

“Oh... 'cause... you wanna go back home, right?” she's reaching for something in the glove box with her hand but freezes, as if I had caught her doing something wrong and I can notice her suddenly saddened eyesin the dark too.

“No, I mean, not necessarily”

“'Cause I thought it's still early and...” she puts both her hands back on the wheel and shrugs her shoulders at the same time.

“It's early indeed” it's always too early for me when it's time to say good night.

“I thought... well... we could hang out a little, go for a drive”

“Ok”

“But I can take you home if you want”

“No, I don't wanna go home”

“I didn't even ask you if you're busy tomorrow morning”

“I don't have shit to do tomorrow morning, Angie”

“Maybe you're tired”

“I'm not tired”

“I'll take a U turn as soon as I can”

“Angie?” I take her right hand from the wheel and kiss it.

“Yeah?”

“Take me for a ride”

“Ok”

“Where are you taking me?” I ask her as I let go of her hand and this time she opens the glove compartment and takes out a caseless cassette, putting it into the car player right away.

“To some place... you'll see” she smiles as Jim Morrison starts to sing.

Yeah, I'm a back door man

I'm a back door man

The men don't know

But the little girls understand

“Do we have a long way to go?” I ask a while later, as Brian Ferry's just admitted Love is the drug he prefers and we take Greenwood Avenue.

“No, we're almost there”

“Almost... can you be more specific?” I like to tease her and see her faces.

“Less than ten minutes and we're there. Are you getting bored?”

“Never, with you”

“So why are you so impatient?”

“I'm not impatient, I only wanna know if this place you want to take me to is within the borders of the United States or not. 'Cause if you, by any chance, are taking me to Canada, so our friends don't catch us, I warn you I didn't bring my passport”

“Ha ha” Angie gives me a nasty look, then her hand happens to land on my knee, which she gently squeeze.

“We're not crossing boundaries then”

“No, we're not”

“Where are we going then?”

“You'll see, soon”

She turns left at the next crossroad, then left again and the trees become thicker.

“I already know anyway: you're taking me to a park”

“Maybe” she lets go of the wheel and put her hands up wide open as to say who knows.

“No! You're taking me to the beach” I correct myself when, after a short while, the road goes downhill, plants thin out and I can see the horizon better.

“One thing does not exclude the other”

“I love watching you drive manual, you know?” I tell her, completely dropping the subject, lost in her driving movements.

“Haha my father taught me when I was twelve. And you?”

“Actually, I can't drive manual”

“No?? Really? You can't drive with a clutch?” she lookes at me shocked for a moment as she drives gently through the curves of the basically desert road.

“Hehe for real, I swear, I never tried”

“I'll teach you!”

“Thank you. I bet you're a good teacher”

“Good but strict”

“That's just perfect”

A yellow sign indicates a dead end street and that's when I figure out we've got to our destination. Angie turns into a rather narrow road on the left, then stops at some kind of natural open space, a clearing among the trees, with the front end of the car facing the wide free view of the ocean.

“Wow”

“From the upper parking lot the view is better but here it's quieter” she remarks as she turns off the car.

“I see” I look around and we're actually well hidden from the houses along the coastline.

“Do you like it?” she questions as she unwraps her scarf and throws it on the back seat. And from the speakers the Stones fade out and Nico's both smooth and scratchy voice comes in.

Here she comes, you better watch your step

She's going to break your heart in two

I have very little to watch out for by now. I'm in too deep and my heart is hers. It's not broken but she can do whatever she wants with it, even though she doesn't have false colored eyes and she's not an evil femme fatale like the one in the song.

“Yes, I like it here...” she can be a little tease though, with that smile of hers that... wait a minute “Angie?”

“Yes” she replies as she unbuttons her coat.

“I have this small sudden nagging question”

“Hehe that is?”

“Did you take me here to fuck?”

“EDDIE!”

“Fuck in a Mini Cooper?”

“HAHAHA”

“Why are you laughing? I only asked a question” actually I'm having such fun too but in subtler way.

“You just really don't know how to beat around the bush, right?”

“No, you should know by now... so?”

“So, I took you here so we could stay here, together, alone, and chill”

“That is, fucking”

“Not just that!”

“But also that”

“Well... if you want to, yes” she admits and I can see her blushing in the dark. This thing about initiatives is getting out of our hands. I'm not complaining though.

“I want to. But to do that, we could have gone to my apartment. I mean, it'd have been even better”

“Uhm not sure about that” she shakes her head not convinced.

“Both for the temperature and for the comfort”

“You're forgetting a small detail”

“What?”

“A not so small detail, who lives with you and his name is Jeff”

“Jeff knows when it's time to mind his own business, he's a smart guy”

“Too smart, that's the problem”

“Umph...”

“And you don't have such a view at your place” she retorts pointing through the windscreen.

“Whatever the place, the view is always spectacular when you're there”

“So basically you're telling me you wanna go back home” she looks down and plays dumb because she'd rather die than take a compliment.

“No, I wanna stay here and enjoy the view from up close” I hug her and my hands slip under her coat, pulling her closer for a kiss. The first one of a long series.

“So, did you like this... initiative?” she asks pulling back from my lips and still playing with my hair.

“Hehe yes, I liked it a lot. I'd just like to know how everything's gonna happen... from a, you know... technically”

“Just use some imagination”

“Next time you wanna have car sex, tell me first and I'll take my truck”

“Hahaha it's not that larger than this inside, you know?”

“But it has a bed, you know, in the back”

“Hahaha very comfortable and most of all very private”

“It depends on where you go...”

“Oh my god, you had sex in the truck bed??” Angie pulls away from me and looks at me as if she saw a ghost.

“A couple of times, yes”

“Fo the pleasure of the pervs and the voyeurs”

“I first made sure nobody was around”

“You're such a showoff!”

“There was nobody around, you asshole”

“Hehe there's nobody around here either”

“Right”

We looked at each other for a second, stop laughing and basically throw at each other at the same time. Angie shrugs off her coat and somehow flings it to the back, then climbs over me and straddles my legs. All this keeping her lips stuck to mine.

“Recline the back rest a little” she whispers into my ear.

“Like this?” I barely touch a side lever and find myself in a completely lying position in a second.

“Haha a little less than that, here, like this. Maybe try and go back a little too” Angie helps pulling me up a bit, then reaches for another toggle, under my seat I guess, and pushes it back, so that she wins some more vital space.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, don't worry”

“Are you sure? You've got one knee against the door and another on the seatbelt attachment”

“I've never been more comfortable” if I don't like beating around the bush when I speak, Angie is the one who doesn't waste any time with actions., 'cause she's already trying to unzip my pants. She makes it and it only takes her a few seconds to make me go completely nuts. Then she pulls away all of a sudden and sits back on the driver seat.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“Wait, I just have to remove... some obstacles” I see her unlacing her shoes, fidgeting with her jeans , and I guess with her panties too, before straddling me again. I pull everything down too in the meantime to make the whole dynamic easier. I don't pay attention to the fact I haven't seen her launch anything else towards the back seat and only when I touch her I realize she's still wearing one leg of her pants.

“You do things halfway” I smile against her lips.

“What if we have to get dressed quickly?”

“You thought about everything, didn't you?”

“You know I'm a neat person”

“Uhm I can see that. The tape too...”

“Which tape?”

“The sex mix tape we've been listening to since we left the restaurant”

“What?!” Angie springs up, I don't know if it's for my remark or for the way I'm touching her.

“Don't even try to pretend it's not a car sex compilation”

“It's not!”

“Tim Buckley has just said he wants to be your victim of love” and I relate to him a lot.

“It's a mix... kind of romantic maybe... that's just how it turned out”

“It's such a romantic mix that he asked you to whip him and spank him straight away”

“Have you ever heard about metaphors? And you even write songs”

“Metaphors. Sure. So when Eric Clapton talks about making love against the wall, is it some metaphor too? And I won't say what comes later in the song, that's even worse, 'cause I'm sure you already know” I unbutton her sweater and her shirt together, while she shrugs and tries to play dumb.

“It's just a great song”

“They're all great” I hold her and manage to pull her back over me.

“I don't wanna listen to shitty music when I drive” she states before taking my breath away with a kiss.

“Or whenever you sneak off with your boyfriend” I immediately give her a taste of the same medicine

“I'm neat” she stares at me before her witty reply. By the way... this tape... did she do it for the occasion? I mean, especially for tonight or for me anyway? Or is it a ready to use mix tape she keeps in her car in case she needs it? And if that's the case, who did she use it with? Did she make that tape with someone else in her mind? But most of all, why do I have to think about this bullshit right now?

“You forgot one thing though...” I'd better focus.

“What?”

“I'm not ready to be a dad”

“Uh! No... I got them, don't worry” all her confidence disappears in one second, Angie sits up and turns around, not only to try and open the glovebox but also to hide a little hint of embarrassment.

“You're my favorite neat freak”

“Actually... ehm... you wouldn't run that risk anyway... since... you know, I'm on the pill but, I mean...” she starts stuttering and opens the box without looking at me.

“Ok”

“I'd rather keep it that way, for now, I mean, I think it's better if we use them all the same... if it's not a problem for you...”

“Angie”

“At least for now, since... well... we just... and considering what happened before...”

“ANGIE?”

“Yes?”

“I sad it's alright, stop being paranoid, ok?”

“Are you sure?”

“Sure, we'll think about it later, right now it's great this way”

“Ok”

“Now come here”

“Here where? I'm already here”

“I mean, closer”

“We're in a Mini, I can't go that far”

“I'm cold and lonely down here on the passenger seat. And I want you. So come back here” I pull her close, tugging at the hems of her shirt and she gives in, either 'cause she's afraid I'll tear it up or because I convinced her with my words.

“The needy puppy look is almost more powerful than dimples” she rolls her eyes and smiles as she comes back to me.

“Really?”

“I said almost”

I still don't understand how can Angie have all this power over me, how can she disarm me and surprise me every time. Even a crazy stupid thing, like driving up to an unknown hidden place for some night acrobatic contortion in a small car, something I haven't done for almost ten years, becomes special with her, and not just for the act itself. Right now I'm totally enraptured by the girl whose body is over mine but not just because she's literally over me. The truth is she's over, under, inside, outside, on my shoulders, between my legs, in my head, in my blood, on my skin and all around. I make love to her in the most uncomfortable way and place but my only thought is that I want her closer, and closer, as if it was even possible. My only thought is not a thought because I can't think now, it's only an instinct, a sensation, a need, like hunger and thirst. I kiss her and through my closed eyelids I can see colors and bright dots, waves of light like electric shocks given from sudden lighting bolts. And the jolts of electricity become closer and closer together and more intense and I think I'm going crazy, 'cause I've never felt something like this. Until Angie disengages her mouth and uses it to speak.

“What the- OH FUCK”

So, I don't know if it's because of Angie, but we got each other so twisted up that we didn't notice the police car appeared who knows how long ago, from out of nowhere and parked a few yards from here with the lights on.

“Oh oh”

“OH OH? The fucking police is here and all you can say is Oh oh?” Angie comes back to reality much more quickly than me. I'm still kind of dizzy.

“What should I say? Would shit be more appropriate?”

“Yes, definitely”

“Are you getting dressed?”

“Oh of course not! I'll just stay here, waiting for the cops butt naked” Angie frantically gets dressed, whereas I do everything at a slower pace. I can say it's also easier for me.

“Don't panic too much, they may think you wanna hide something”

“Hiding something is exactly what I'm trying to do” she hurriedly pulls up her pants and starts buttoning down her sweater, ignoring the shirt underneath, and that might be on purpose or not.

The moment we hear someone knocking on the window we're both startled. Angie looks at her left, then right in front of her, then towards me and shakes her head with an imperceptible movement before wearing the most innocent expression I've ever seen on her face since I first met her.

“Good evening, officer” she addresses one of the guys who killed our fun tonight after rolling down the window on her side. From the shadow I see through my window, I can say his colleague is on my side.

“Good evening... although good night would be more appropriate, what do you think?” we got the cop who tries to be funny. Fuck.

“Well, yeah, hehe!” Angie decides to go along and I agree with her plan “How... ehm... how can I help you?”

“Uhm let me think, why don't you start by turning on the light and give me your document, miss?”

“Sure!” Angie stretches out towards the back seat and the policeman knocks lightly on the windscreen of the car with his billy club pointing at the space where the rearview mirror is, to catch her attention and let her understand she has to switch on the interior lights first. She gasps then obliges, before starting to look for her papers again.

“Keep calm” I whisper as she takes her beg and gives everything to the officer. I'd rather be the driver, I'm afraid Angie will get nervous and do something wrong. I think it's the first time the police stops her.

“Thank you, I'd like to see the ones of your... friend too... please” the guy gives me an extremely bad look and at the same time someone knocks at my window. As I turn around I see a female silhouette gesturing for me to wind it down.

“Good evening, here it is” I take out my wallet very slowly, find my driving licence and give it to the policewoman.

“Angelina W. Pacifico... Idaho, huh?”

“Yeah, I moved here a few months ago” Angie deliberately adds something as an answer to a question no one asked, trying to look willing to cooperate.

“1972. Wow, it almost seems true hahaha!” the officer waves the document in the air and laughs through gritted teeth looking at his partner.

“It seems? Of course it's true!” Angie gets upset and I go pale in a second because if she starts responding to his provocations, we'll be dead.

“If you say so... I'll check it out”

“Feel free to check, so you can see for yourself!” fucking dead.

“Why don't you also give me your registration doc, so I can check that too, miss”

“Alright! I'll give it to you immediately, then you can also frisk me, him and search my whole car, my conscience is clear!”

“Do you know you've just given me a great idea, Miss Pacifico?” the jerk laughs again and I hope Angie will soon take that angry look off her face as I see her getting out the car documents.

“26 years old. Aren't you a little too old for that girl?” the police woman asks me after she's checked my licence and I decide to keep my mouth shut. Unfortunately someone else has a different opinion.

“I AM OF AGE! How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Shut up!” the officer's yell catches me off guard since it comes from my side. Apparently he has come to get my document from his colleague. After that he goes back to their car for the checking.

“Angie, don't talk, please” I hiss and hope she'll follow my advice.

“Wether you're of age or not, he's still a little older than you” the woman leans down on the car door and talks gently to Angie through the window.

“That's not a crime” she says in a lower voice and I don't even know if the officer heard her. Maybe she finally understood what the correct behaviour is.

“You're going to the University of Washington, right?” the policewoman asks. She clearly wants to chit chat to kill time and ease the tension.

“Yes, how do you know?”

“The bump sticker”

“Oh right! Yeah, I moved here for that, to go to college”

“With your family?” ok, the Good cop/Bad cop operation has officially started.

“No, by myself”

“So, you're living on your own, you've got an apartment...”

“Well, yeah”

“And you?” this time she talks to me and to do that she points her flashlight right at my face.

“I don't go to college”

“I mean, don't you have a place?”

“Sure”

“So what the hell are you doing here? In a car? Well, something that looks like a car” she goes on switching off the flashlight and using it to vaguely point at Angie's car and I abruptly turn towards her, 'cause I know this could be enough to get her mad and we'd be fucked. But she keeps on with her quiet act.

“We were going for a ride”

“A ride?”

“Yeah” I repeat.

“But you were parked”

“We stopped for a minute” my girlfriend promptly replies.

“Stopped to do what?”

“Chat” a mechanism has tacitly established by which we take turns giving answers, so this time it's me speaking.

“Talk” Angie adds.

“Listen to music” the answer was suggested by the tape, which goes on and now it's time for... The rain song?? Holy fuck, Angie, couldn't you be more obvious? And she got the nerve to say it's not a car fuck mix tape. The cassette alone would be an evidence of public indecency in court.

“Enjoy the view”

“Yeah, actually as soon as we got here we noticed how focused you were on the view” the woman rolls her eyes and barely holds a laugh. We'd laugh too if we weren't under interrogation.

“She didn't make it clear what kind of view she was talking about... you, you gotta try and be more open minded, please!” the comedian colleague is back and gives Angie her documents back through the open window.

“Right!” the woman exchanges an amused look with her partner, who's back with the questions.

“Right, so, if I search this bumper car, will I find drugs or not?”

“Of course not, officer” she replies with no hesitation and I hope it's true 'cause if he actually finds something, we'll be in double deep shit.

“Guns?”

“What? Please, I hate them”

“And what if I give you a breathalyzer? What will I find?”

“Nothing, 'cause I didn't drink. He did, he had something to drink, but he's not driving, I'm driving, so...”

“Yeah, I see, I got it from the start that you're the one who leads, that was quite obvious hahaha” the cop can't hold himself and bursts out laughing in the end, followed suit by his partner, who scolds him though, also revealing his name to us.

“Barlow!”

“Ok ok, do you know why we stopped you?”

“You didn't, we weren't moving” Angie whispers in a very low voice as she gives me the car registration to put away into the glove box. But it's not low enough.

“Don't try to be funny, Miss! Do you know it or not?” don't tell him that if he does, then you can do it too. I know you're dying to tell him but don't do it, please!

“No” we both reply at the same time. Thank god. At least she knew about this: with the police, always say you don't know.

“'Cause you think that fucking in a car in a public place is a normal thing, right?”

“It's not public if nobody's there, is it?” my girlfriend tries but she'll be very disappointed.

“On what rulebook did you read this?” he answers sarcastically.

“I hope you're not studying law, darling”

“No. I study cinema”

“Uh! So you were rehearsing a scene! That's what it was!” these two are having the time of their life with us.

“Barlow, shut up! Ehm ehm we're patrolling the area because there have been some robberies lately. There's a gang who targets couples who come here at night to park, like you guys”

“So if I were you, I'd change my habits a little” the guy adds as he starts breathing again after his fucking laughter fits.

“You have an apartment each, just go there”

“O'Hara, can't you understand? There must be some cheating going on here! He leaves his girlfriend at home with an excuse and meets his younger mistress, am I right or am I wrong?”

“NO!” Angie reacts outraged and I feel this night will last much much longer.

“You can tell us, I mean, this surely is not a crime” Barlow leans down and folds his arms against the window opening in the car door, almost diving inside.

“There's no girlfriend at home”

“So she's the cheater”

“No one's cheating on anyone, I'm her boyfriend, we're together”

“Ok so, help me understand: you're together, I mean, in a regular relationship, she's legal, you both have a place... annoying roommates?” agent O'Hara counts the elements that don't add up to her on her fingertips.

“No, I mean, not too much” Angie looks at me as she replies, as if she was looking for a suggestion or, most likely, 'cause she finds it all unreal, just like me.

“So why arent' you at home?”

“You gotta ask her” I don't know why I answer like that, I can't even say if I did it for real, I don't even notice. It just comes out like that, spontaneously.

“Eddie?!”

“Tell us, Angie, why aren't you at home?” the comedian gets curious and calls her by her first name.

“Because... because it's a new thing”

“And we got that, also considering the... the enthusiasm” he goes on, earning the umpteenth fake nasty look from his partner.

“She doesn't want to tell our friends” and I guess this is me again, freewheeling talking.

“Why? Is there some ex?” O'Hara questions and now we went from interrogation to gossiping.

“No. I mean, yes,” Angie corrects herself when she sees me making a face “but that's not the reason”

“What is it then? Don't tell me you're ashamed of him? I'm not particularly attracted to long-haired men but he seems a good looking guy to me, after all”

“I'm not ashamed at all, he's... he's very good looking, he's perfect, in everything” are we going from gossip to confessions? Wait a minute, what did she just say?

“It's just... well, we know the same people, it's a whole group of friends. And some of them play in a band, with him”

“Musicians, huh? We'd better do a search after all” Barlow tells another shitty joke but his colleague ignores him and focuses on the current topic.

“And are they closer to you or him? Are they more your friends or his?”

“Well, I got to know them a few months before but... I'd say they're friends of both of us in the same way”

“Ok, so you're both afraid to lose them and to make him lose them, if things went wrong, right?”

Angie nods in silence to O'Hara's words and I'm completely stunned. Lose them? Suddenly a new light is shed on the situation, a new point of view I hadn't considered before. Angie told me she doesn't trust herself but she trusts me and I didn't fully believe this version. She's always been worried about our friends, 'cause they're kind of nosy and always intruding in other people's private life, but I never figured out they were the actual object of her insecurities. The guys.

“I'm afraid they'll judge me or him. I'm afraid I can create problems in the group and that we'll end up parting ways” Angie's still confessing and I wonder if she needed to be pressured by the police to finally tell the truth. But is it Angie, who never talked, or is it me, who never understood?

“But it's just a normal thing, dear! Take each other, leave each other, take each other again, break up again, get together with another guy of the gang. It happens all the time among groups of friends but that doesn't necessarily ruin the friendship” O'Hara lights up a cigarette and from good cop she officially turned into big sister or aunt, the one you can tell everything to.

“Well, I don't know, I've never had a group of friends, I mean, not so big. I've never had so many friends” now everything's clear, shit. She's never had them and she doesn't want to lose them.

“Angie, even if something went wrong between us, don't worry, our friends would kick my ass, not yours. And if one of us has got to take the brush off, well, it's gonna be me” I try and reassure her but looking at her face I guess I'm failing.

“And do you think that would hurt me less?”

“It's like watching Oprah live” Barlow says, totally hooked on our show.

“Angie, friends will be friends. The truth is friends do care, yeah, but not that much. Don't get me wrong, friends love you, give you advice wether you asked for it or not, they can get in the way and root for you or him, but in the end they just want you both to be ok, together or not. At some point they stop and say it's up to you, guys, in the best sense possible. And if they disappear in the end, well, it means they weren't true friends”

“Maybe, maybe you're right”

“Sure I'm right!”

“Right or not, you can't come here and have sex anymore, do you understand?” the cop, who was basically collapsing on the car door, stands up straight and gives a couple of punches against the roof of the car, maybe to wake himself up.

“Sure”

“It won't happen again”

“Fine. It's getting late, let's go O'Hara”

“Go home, guys. And drive safe, Angie, ok?”

“Ok, thanks officer”

“Good night”

We roll up the windows at the same time, Angie starts the car and waits.

“Why aren't they moving?”

“They're waiting for us to go first, to make sure we are actually leaving” I explain and smile for the fact that she didn't understand that. And this quick scene is like a little representation of her innocence. Sometimes I forget that she's so young and has little experience of everything, and no, I'm not only talking about how to handle the police when they pull you over.

“Oh right, I didn't think about that” Angie snorts and we leave.

“That was so weird” we're back in town when Angie finally breaks the silence.

“Yeah”

“Such an embarrassing moment”

“Very embarrassing” it opened my eyes a little though, so it actually turned out to be useful. Since we left we haven't mentioned what had happened, we haven't mentioned anything because we just kept our mouth shut and only exchanged quick looks and smiles and sang a few songs. Now that everything's started sinking in, it's time to return to the core of the matter and do the talk, this time only between us.

“It never happened to me”

“To me neither” I had dealt with the police before but not for this kind of infringment.

“I've been there many times and I never saw the cops there, these robberies must be something recent”

It takes me a while to register what she said, maybe 'cause I'm still thinking about the infraction we were committing on these front seats like an hour ago. But when I figure it out it's like I've been awaken with someone throwing a bucket full of ice at my face.

“Never? Do you mean... you'd been there already?”

“Sure. If not, how could I know the place?” she calmly answers, so either she's crazy or she doesn't know where I'm getting at or she doesn't care.

“With who?” Angie's mouth opens up forming a small O and so I guess now she does know where I'm getting at.

“What do you mean, with who? With... with Meg”

“With Meg”

“Yeah, she's been living here for so long, she knows the area. She took me there”

“She took you to the beach at night to do what?”

“To go for a ride! To just stay there, drinking, smoking, gossiping, normal stuff”

“And that's it?”

“Hahaha why? What else do you think we were doing there?”

“I mean, you went there with Meg and that's it? But you said you've been there many times”

“And with you?”

“Ok, so, with Meg and I... and no one else?”

“Well...”

“Angie?”

“Not just you two...”

“Have you been there with Jerry?”

“...”

“Angie, I'm talking to you”

“I know, it's only me here” we're at the traffic lights and Angie looks around inside the car, even giving a glance at the back seat, before turning back to look at me.

“So?”

“I didn't go there with Jerry”

“So would you swear to me that you didn't take me to the same place where you used to park with your ex boyfriend?

“No, I didn't!”

“Ok”

“With Jerry.. ehm... we used to go to the upper parking place on the hill”

“WHAT?!”

“What? Why are you mad?”

“Why? What do you mean why? You took me to the same place where you fucked your ex and I'm not supposed to get mad?!”

“I never fucked Jerry there”

“The fact it was a different paking lot 50 yards away doesn't change anything, Angie”

“I mean I never did it with Jerry in the car!” she exclaims as she gestures an apology to the guy in the car behind us, who's just honked at us because we didn't go immediately when the lights turned green. What the hell does this fucker want? Is he in a fuckin' hurry or something? Fuck you man.

“Didn't you?”

“No, I never... I never had full sexual intercourse with Jerry in a car”

“This use of very, very specific and technical terminology looks kind of suspicious to me”

“We kissed and stuff”

“I don't wanna know” she says it and I'm already imagining it, I mean, I can imagine even if she doesn't say anything. My imagination doesn't need further help.

“But you practically asked me”

“I'm not stupid, I get that you didn't fuck him there, but still you did something. That's the same to me”

“Who cares who I took there first, now I got you, I'm with you”

“I care because... because it's weird, it gives me a... bad feeling... I don't like it”

“I told you as soon as we got there that I had already been there, but you didn't say anything then. Why are you suddenly upset now?”

She's right actually, she told me, I don't remember the exact words, but she let me know. The truth is I was so enraptured by the situation, by her, her scent, her gestures as she was taking off her coat, her big eyes, her naughty heart-shaped smile... I was like drunk and didn't understand shit.

“Maybe I hadn't noticed then, and now I did”

“I come from another state, I don't know many places. If I want to go to some quiet place with you, of course I have to follow... ehm... the beaten road”

“Well let's just stay home then and avoid going anywere else, problem solved”

“If you say so... Jerry's been in my bed too, shall we stop going there too?” Angie gives me a perplexed look and I know, I know I'm crazy, that I'm the sick one, that retroactive jealousy makes no sense. But I'm so fucking mad right now!

“Could you... could you just not remind me, please?”

“But... are you jealous of Jerry?”

“No” nooooo, I'm not! Why do you think that?

“Ok. Also because it'd be really stupid if you were” there you go.

“Exactly”

“Because I'm not interested in him, there's no chance at all I could be into him ever again and go back to him anytime soon” are you sure about that? I mean, on your part I know there's no chance. But Jerry, he still has hope. He told me! And this is a piece of information I'm gonna keep to myself.

“I know”

“Fine”

“Did you use the tape with him too or is it exclusively for me?”

“I did the mix tape yesterday, for you, for the occasion” she retorts tiredly as she rolls her eyes.

“Ok”

“Are you happy about that?”

“Very happy. I like it”

“Thank god”

“And how was Jerry's tape?”

“Jesus... Jerry never had a tape”

“I don't believe you”

“Believe what you want, I could as well not answer, because in the end that's none of your business. Yet I answered and told you the truth” she's right, what she had with Jerry is none of my business. And I'm acting like a jerk.

“Sorry”

“It's ok”

“I'm stupid sometimes”

“I noticed that”

“Then it goes away and I'm back to normal”

“I hope so”

“Can I borrow the tape? I wanna make a copy”

“I hope it goes away soon, very soon”

“Here we are” Angie stops one block away from my condo, as she's been doing lately every time she takes me home.

“Look, Jeff's not the bored meddler housewife who waits at the window to check who I'm going out with. He doesn't give a fuck, I'm not Stone” I joke to ease the tension, which is still on despite my apologies and the shit I say.

“Friday”

“Friday what? What happens?”

“You're playing at the Ok Hotel on Friday”

“Yes”

“And we're also celebrating Jeff's birthday, that's gonna be two days later”

“Right”

“And on Monday you'll start recording Eleven”

“Hahaha the name's Ten”

“But it's eleven songs! It doesn' t make sense, I told you!” she finally turns around to face me and her hands move to the lower part of the wheel.

“What's the point? It's also our first record, should we call it One? Or First? Hehehe”

“You can laugh as much as you want, when you won't know how to call your tenth album, then we'll see who'll have the last laugh”

“The tenth? Do you believe we'll last that long?”

“Sure! But you'll split up right because of that record, 'cause you won't agree on how to call it, and you'll be torn between... I don't know... a surfing brand and a Seattle Supersonics bench player”

“Hahaha that's if the Seattle Supersonics will still exist by then”

“Why wouldn't they?” she asks suddenly serious, in her typical adorable way of focusing on totally secondary aspects.

“Do you ever think about the future? I mean, future future, like in twenty or thirty years” I do. Now, for example, I'm picturing myself twenty years from now, taking to you in a car, maybe as we get back home from a Sonics' game.

“Uhmmm no, I mean, not in detail. But I'm eager to know if Kubrik was right about 2001 or if in 2019 we'll have android replicants slaves like in Blade Runner. Yeah, that's something I often think about”

“Hehe I mean your future, what's gonna happen to you personally, where you'll be at. I mean, where you picture yourself and what do you see yourself like... stuff like that” I ask her again and I'd want to confess that sometimes I do think about my future. And she would make fun of me, 'cause someone used at living the moment who thinks about the future doesn't make sense. But I'd pretend I didn't hear her and I'd say that I don't know if I'll get there but sometimes I like to think of myself in twenty or thirty years, maybe with shorter grey hair or no hair at all, living off my music, married, with two or three kids. And that's how I'd scare her to death and she'd definitely run away from me.

“Well, no, honestly I don't. I only hope I'll get my degree before then”

“What? A control freak like you doesn't plan her future? You surprise me”

“You can't controll the distant future, like the past. The only thing you can have control on is the present. Or the near future” she shrugs as her eyes wander through the windshield.

“You're living the moment too, then? Should I expect you to climb some building in your free time?”

“Hehe no but my planning time is short term. For example, this time I planned until Friday, as I was telling you, before we got lost in one of our typical nonsense conversations” I love our typical nonsense conversations.

“What happens on Friday?”

“I though we could do it on Friday”

“Do what? Climb some building? I'd start with something iconic, like that Hat'n'Boots shit at the gas stations, what's its name...”

“I thought we could say it on Friday”

“Say what?”

“About us... to our friends”

“Uh” I can't believe that. Am I dreaming? Yes, come on, the cops story was too weird, of course it's all a dream, I should have known.

“Since everybody's gonna be there for different reasons, I think that could be the right time. So, you know, we'll say it just once” she keeps talking and strangely I didn't wake up yet.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“You don't have to do it just because two fucking cops told you to”

“It's not for that”

“Neither because I got mad for no reason a minute ago”

“Not even for that”

“Why then?”

“Hahah you've been pestering me to tell everybody from the start and now you're making a fuss?” Angie lets go of the wheel and turns around towards me completely.

“I'm not making a fuss, I just want you to be sure and it seems strange to me that you got convinced in a couple of hours”

“I didn't get conviced now, I've always thought we'd say it sooner or later obviously. Now I realized the moment has come”

“Has it?

“Yes”

“Ok”

“Great”

“We're doing it on Friday”

“Alright”

“And how do we do it? I mean, practically, how will we do? Should I get on stage, point at you and say into the mic Just so you know, that girl down there is my girfriend?”

“If you dare doing something like that, you won't even be alive for Pearl Jam's first album, much less for the tenth” she threatens me so good that I'm scared for real.

“Should I get some posters printed?”

“We won't have to do anything special, we'll just act normal”

“And how will we communicate with our friends? Telepathically?”

“We'll act normal, do as we always do when we're alone and they're not around”

“Do you mean tear our pants off and jump on each other?” I know, I know I'm ajerk. She's finally opening up and I just talk bullhsit. But I can't help it, that's how I am, especially when I'm happy.

“Eddie!”

“You're fixating on public places, huh? I didn't know this... exhibitionist side of you, ouch!” I insist as I try and dodge her slaps.

“You're such an ass!”

“Hehe come on, I was kidding”

“I'm talking serious stuff and you make fun of me”

“I joke because I'm happy for your decision”

“Anyway... I meant normal stuff, walking hand in hand, hugging, kissing, but without showing off too much, discreetly but so that everyone understands. And they'll come to ask us Do you have to tell us something? or Are you a couple? and at that point we'll only have to say yes, short answer, no further explanation needed”

“You're a genius”

“Do you think it'll do?”

“Sure it will do, I think it's a very good idea”

“Ok, it's a deal then”

“And since we're telling everybody next Friday, could you please drive me home?”

“Hahaha no”

“And maybe come in with me”

“Is it Friday already?”

“Uhm no”

“Forget it then”

“How long is it until Friday?”

“Not that long. Good night” Angie gets close to give me what in her intentions was supposed to be a quick kiss but I can't resist and hold her for much longer.

“You're freezing, put your coat back on” I tell her as I unwillingly pull away from that cold hug. Cold in terms of temperature only.

“You're right, I left so fast that I forgot to put it on” she follows my advice and grabs it from the back seat.

“So... good night” I kiss her once again, open the door and get out of her car.

“Good night, I'll call you tomorrow, ok?” I nod at her and smile internally. I love when she calls. Then suddenly, right when she's about to start the car again, I remember a not so small detail.

“Angie, wait!” I knock against the car door on her side a couple of times, she brakes and rolls the window down.

“What's wrong? Did you forget anything?” she asks as she looks around inside the car.

“What does W stand for?”

“What?”

“The cop, when he was reading through your driving licence, he said Angelina W. Pacifico. What does W stand for?

”Oh. That W” she stiffens and the engine goes off, I don't think she turned it off on purpose.

“Yep, that one” I lean down and look at her through the open window, waiting for an answer.

“It's a first letter”

“I got that. The first letter of...”

“Of a name”

“Ok, and what's this name?”

“My second name”

“That is...?”

“That is... a name starting with W” she gives me a pained look and I feel she's not done with her blabbering.

“Hahaha what's that, another of your secrets?”

“Exactly! Good night, Eddie” she's about to wind up the window but I put my hand in the way and stop her.

“Hahaha good night my ass, tell me your name!”

“Do I have to?”

“You're my girlfriend, I gotta know your full name!”

“I don't know your full name”

“I was born Edward Louis Severson III, I was Edward Jerome Mueller for a while and now I'm Edward Jerome Vedder, 'cause I took my mother's last name”

“Jerome and Louis are lovely names” she remarks, focusing on the names and completely ignoring the anagraphic mess that is my identity.

“I bet your second name's lovely too”

“No, it's not”

“W as in... Wendy?”

“Nope”

“Wanda?”

“No”

“Wilhelmina? Winifred?”

“No and no”

“Winona”

“I wish. It's not even a name”

“It's not a name, what does it mean?”

“It's a name that is not a name, it's... it's a thing”

“A thing? Wait... hippie parents, right?”

“Ehm... yeah, something like that”

“Willow!”

“No”

“Water”

“No, good night Eddie” she restarts the car and at least my desperate expression has the power to bring back a smile on her face.

“Shit, you can't leave me like this!”

“Yet I'm doing it, nighty night!” Angie goes away just like that and leaves me here, alone, to rack my brain on the umpteenth mystery, a new thing I don't know about her and I'm looking forward to know.

“No no no, Grace, I'm sorry but I have to tell you: you got it all wrong. What about this guy here? Where did he come from? Do you wanna go? Just go! How much space do you need to pass a Granada diesel?” without taking anything away from my dear father's car, it's not exactly the fastest model produced by Ford.

“Why?”

“Do you want me to pull over? Is it enough or do I have to get out and help you push your car? Oh there you go! Good boy! What do you mean, why? Do you see any logic in it?” the asshole passes me and I can go back to torture Grace.

“Well, apart from the night guard who was about to catch us, it was nice and it seemed like you were having fun”

“I was! The night pic nic at the abandoned factory was cool. And also running from the guard. Well, if you can call it running. You were as slow as a snail. If the guy was at least a little in shape, he'd have got us”

“He'd have got me, since you fled without even waiting for me” she sulks.

“I was waiting for you in the car”

“Sure”

“With the engine on, I had a detailed plan in my head”

“I can imagine”

“Anyway, the date was an 8, I didn't mean that”

“What else then?”

“The cassette. It's all wrong” I'm not saying she has to be on Angie's level, she's sort of a black belt in the art of making mix tapes. But this is a complete mistake. If I had known, I'd not have asked her to bring something to listen to in the car.

“Hahaha they're songs I like, how can they be wrong?”

“It's not the songs, it's how you put them together. You broke every rule for the creation of a mix tape” the songs, taken individually, go from ok to amazing. Some even surprised me. I had no idea Grace knew bands like Cock Sparrer or Japan, which have got nothing to do with each other. And of course one comes after the other in Grace's mix.

“Do rules exist for that?”

“Sure they do!”

“Tell me one of those so-called rules”

“Well, first of all, you've got no theme”

“A theme?”

“Yeah, a theme, a common thread, something they have in common”

“The theme is: Songs I like”

“Nuh-uh that's not how it works. You gotta tell a story and not just throw in random tracks. You mixed songs of different genres, decades, mood, even different languages!”

“I love that song by Ofra Haza!”

“Slow ones, then fast ones, then all the slow ones. No! And you can't just pick a lo-fi tune and then follow with a super produced song”

“I'm not a musician, I don't care about technicalities, I just go with my feelings”

“What kind of insane feelings bring you to the point of putting Bootsy Collins right after Bauhaus?��

“They both set... an atmosphere” Gracie shrugs but I go on with my rant.

“And you selected live tracks too... live tracks... in a compilation... uhm... that's a no-no”

“Ok, so how do you grade the cassette?”

“Unclassifiable. Try again”

“And how do you grade these instead?” she crosses her legs to show me her new pair of boots. As if I hadn't noticed them already.

“A 10, of course. Pete, your ex, advised you good” they're brown, with thin tight laces and some sort of side floral embroidery.

“Pete is not my ex and you know it. And don't pretend to be jealous, nobody falls for that”

“I'm not jealous, I was simply acknowledging his refined taste” and they look great with those corduroy shorts.

“And by the way, I didn't buy them there, I found them in a thrift shop downtown” I bask in the belief she bought them especially for me, because she knows the effect they have on me.

“They're not bad. Although you didn't buy them from Pete” on the other hand though I don't want her to think I'm some kind of perv who can't get an erection without seeing a nice pair of boots. And generally I don't want her to believe I'm that kind of person you have to necessarily surprise every fucking time with something weird and over the top. That's the impression I got but maybe it's just me. I mean, the date thing is funny but mostly because it's our thing and not because of the peculiarity of the date choices.

“You're an asshole, Stone. Did somebody ever tell you?”

“Yeah. But it sounds better when you say it” I reply, quickly taking her hand and kissing it and I really wanna see her comeback to my masterstroke.

“Sounds better than my mix tape too?” she's good too, I have to admit it.

“Definitely. Also because it doesn't take that much...” but she doesn't know yet how much I like having the last word.

“Right. As much as it took me to realize you're an asshole” she retorts with a wink. The last word, she loves stealing it from me so much.

“Are you sure you don't want anything?” Grace asks me from the bathroom, while I focus on one of the fishtanks.

“Sure, I'm full” she must have prepared like twenty sandwiches for the pic nic, plus the wine. Yeah, I'm full.

“Can't you make a tiny little room in your stomach for dessert?”

“I think I don't have any room left in any internal organs, even if I wanted to. Maybe into my ears, I could try but...”

“Not even for this dessert?” Grace comes out and the way she shows up is not new to me but not less extraordinary.

“Well... maybe... just a little bite...” I think my internal organs are exploding the moment Grace walks up to me, wearing nothing but her boots.

I instinctively back up but I don't know why, this fucking instinct must be broken because I have no intention to escape her attentions. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed by her beauty. Maybe I'm still a little tipsy.

“Perfect.” Grace walks my way but instead of hugging me, she passes me by and walks up to the kitchen. I see her move away one of the chairs, maybe the new one, then place her hands on the table to jump on it “So, what are you waiting for? The meal is ready”

“From which porn b-movie did you get this quote?”

“Hurry up or I'll put my clothes back on”

“Ok”

“What are you doing tonight? Are you sleeping here?” I'm still trying to remember who I am and where I am and what kind of truck has just hit me, when Grace shows up again in the kitchen wearing pyjamas, brushing her teeth.

“It depends”

“On what?”

“If I can sleep in your bed I'll stay, otherwise I'll go back home” I don't know what gave me the strength to come up with the topic that could bring to a big heavy discussion. Maybe I reached such a balance in our relationship that I can openly talk about everything. Or maybe it's just that my lower back hurts, my leg hurt, all my bones hurt and I'm sleepy, so I'd rather sleep on the closest most comfortable surface.

“Ok, see you tomorrow then” Grace points at me with the toothbrush, then sticks it back into her mouth and goes back into the bathroom.

“Come on, Pebbles, why do you always act like that?” I get up from the couch, pulling up my boxers and pants, trying not to lose balance, then set up to go to the bathroom to speak face to face like normal people do. But the face to face thing becomes literal when she rushes out of the door like a fury and we almost crack heads.

“What the hell did you just call me?” she asks barely holding a laugh.

“You said your last name means stone, right? I can't call you... She-Stone, that would be weird”

“Stonia?”

“No”

“Stonette?”

“Why can't we sleep together?” I drag her back on the crux of the matter because knowin her, and me, we could go on like this for hours.

“I told you why, it's complicated” Grace walks away from me and stops in front of the couch, as if she wanted to sit there, but then changes her mind and goes on to take a sit at the kitchen table, on the chair right beside the entrance.

“I know but time has passed. And you gotta start somewhere to... get used to another person's presence, right? Let's go step by step, together” I take back the chair Grace had thrown on the side half an hour ago and I sit down, right in front of her.

“I'm not the only one who has to get used to something new, Stone” her words tell me there's clearly something else and I'm not stupid, I've known for a while that it's not just a matter of being used at being single. There's something that's making her insecure. At first I thought it was something in her room, like the tons of stuffed animals or some real animal, some weird pet she didn't want to tell me about. Then I figured out it's more than that. I thought he could have OCD or something like that, something that makes here panic as soon as someone enters in the picture and threatens her balance. I mean, just think about what happened with the chair thing. Maybe she arranges her things on her nighstand following a determined use order or she makes her bed using set squares and a ruler and the thought that someone could mess it up makes her go nuts. I guess she only manages to sleep in her empty bed. Then I thought it could've got something to do with her past, maybe with the long illness she never wants to talk about. Maybe she's taking meds that fuck her up a little or that she simply doesn't want me to see. I even went as far as to thinking she could take some drugs. But no, not Gracie. And what would be the connection with her bedroom?

“Ok, if you tell me what I have to get used to, maybe I can start right now and you can follow suit, what do you think?”

“I wish it was that easy”

“I know it's not easy or I wouldn't have waited so long before putting the squeeze on you”

“Are you putting the squeeze on me?”

“Yes, just talk”

“Do I have to?”

“I won't leave until you tell me what's wrong. For real”

“Oh.” maybe Grace has just realized that I'm being serious and that I won't put up with her elusive explanations anymore “Ok”

“Don't be scared, it's... it's just me.” I stretch my arms out on the table to take both her hands in mine and finally she looks up to me “And you know how smart I am, I can comprehend anything, don't worry”

“Hehehe I know, I can trust you”

“That's it”

“I gotta trust you, I mean, I knew this moment would have come, I have to tell you sooner or later. I can't hide it from you forever. Despite your particular preferences.

“What do you mean?”

“Ugh I can't believe I'm about to have the talk, again” she covers her face with her hands and then runs them through her hair.

“Again?”

“That must be why I became allergic to steady relationships: just to avoid having the same talk each time. But then you came and blew up my plans” Grace takes my hands once again, squeezes them gently and smiles, before letting them go and focusing back on the table cloth's print.

“Which talk?”

“It's not easy for me to feel comfortable with a man... in intimacy”

“Really? 'Cause my joints and I didn't notice” I try and joke to ease the tension but I'm not sure I should. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and let her speak.

“I'm not only talking about that intimacy but rather in general”

“'Cause you need your space and-”

“No, it's not about that. It's... it's a physical thing, Stone”

“Physical?”

“I know, knowing me, one would thing the problem is in my head. And won't deny that, it's a fact that I'm not completely in my right mind”

“Well... you said that, huh?” I shrug and reply to her half smile with a full one.

“But the main problem, well, it's about my body”

“Your body can't possibly have any problem, Pebbles”

“Because you haven't seen all of it, Bam Bam” considering the gravity of the moment, I decide to ignore the nickname. Also because I called for it.

“I haven't, really? What else is there to see, more than I already saw?”

“I'd say that your strange fixation gave me a sort of advantage this time. Or disadvantage. Because thanks to that, I could postpone the talk forever pretending the problem doesn't exist, so it really depends on how you look at it”

“My strange... Gracie, I'm not getting what you're trying to say, could you be clearer?”

“There's something odd in my body, something you haven't seen yet”

“Has it got something to do with your past health problems?”

“Yes”

“Oh Grace, a couple of scars won't make me uncomfortable!” I stand up, ready to take her in my arms and squeeze her to death as a punishment but she keeps sitting, glued to her chair.

“Hehehe scars... I wish it was that!”

“Is it worse?”

“The problem is not something I have but rather something... I don't have”

“I must be dumb, I didn't notice anything”

“Do you know what an osteosarcoma is?”

“Given the name, I'd say a bone disease” the technical medical term breaks into a so far lighthearted conversation and hijacks it towards a darker destination.

“A tumor, for the record”

“Is that what happened to you, years ago?”

“Yes”

“But you won against that fucking tumor, I mean, you're alright now”

“But that fucking tumor left its mark anyway, Stone”

“Grace, seriously, there's nothing that could push me away from you. I know I may look like an uptight fucker but I'm not easily impressed” I'd better avoid telling her that I don't really like needles though.

“Do you know how they cure osteosarcoma?”

“Chemotherapy?”

“Chemotherapy and surgery”

“Ok”

“It started from the big toe, an extremely rare circumstance the doctors said”

“You always have to stand out, right?” I try and keep things light and Grace smiles keeps going along with me but I'm not sure this is the best attitude although I'm not showing it.

“Then it spread to all the toes, then the rest. It was all so fast, one week before I felt good, I lived my life as usual, then my foot hurt while I was jogging and one week later I was risking to lose my leg or worse, to die if it reached vital organs”

“But the super docs did their magic thing and cured you and got you back in shape” I sound like the annoying child who doesn't wanna hear the drama parts of the good night story and wants to get straight to the happy ending so he can fall asleep in peace.

“Yeah, they saved me. At a small cost”

“Grace, I don't give a fuck if your foot is not nice to see, the important thing is that you're here, now, with me, and you can tell this story”

“It's not nice to see because you can't see it, Stone. Didn't you understand? It's not there anymore, I don't have it, I had to have it amputated” I can hear words coming out of Grace's lips but they sound emptied of every trace of sense and meaning. I feel the need to sit down and say something, anything, but whereas I manage to do the first thing, my second goal seems strangely impossible. Maybe for the first time in my life I don't know what to say. I mean, there are so many things I'd want to say that roll in my head and they all seem stupid, shallow, flat and completely useless.

“Stone?”

And I don't even know how to move now. What do I do? If I back up, I'd look detached. If I get closer, she'll think I'm flaunting a quietness I realistically can't have right now. Same thing if I look at her feet. But if I purposedly avoid looking at them, she'll convince herself she scared me.

“Say something, Stone. Or if you don't wanna say anything, at least close your mouth, you've got it wide open for fifteen minutes” Graces reaches for me over the table and closes my jaw with a light pressure of her hand. Her hand so delicate, sweet, gentle, like her. I can't believe something so terrible could happen right to Grace. Ok, nobody deserves such pain and the world is full of horrors. But I wanna be free to get mad at such an injustice.

“Is it the left one or right one?” I finally speak. And I say something stupid, of course.

“What difference does it make?” Grace looks at me as if I was dumb.

“I just asked”

“The right one”

“And do you have a prosthesis?”

“How would I stand up and walk otherwise?”

“But you wouldn't say it, I mean, when you walk, you walk normally. You're just-”

“As slow as a snail” she finishes my sentence and it's like when in crime movies they give you the ultimate hint and it lights a spark for the detective, who starts going backwards through all the key points of the investigation. In my specific case, all the times I made fun of Grace for being slow.

“God, I'm a jerk” and here's the sudden realization.

“Jerk or not, you couldn't have known this”

“Yes but I feel like shit all the same”

“Stop thinking about it and you'll be better. So, what do you wanna do now?”

“What do I wanna do?”

“From my personal experience, I can say men fall into two categories at this point. I wanna know which one you belong to”

“It depends on the categories” I answer, more and more uncomfortable on this chair. Maybe it's because it's the new one. Yeah, that's it. Grace is right, she's always been right, not all chairs are the same.

“Those who don't wanna see and those who want to look”

“Oh”

“And inside the before mentioned categories, we can find two subgroups: those who don't wanna see that but ask me to show them, because they want to pretend they don't care, and those who are actually curious and would like to watch, but they say no because they don't want me to think they're gross”

“I, well, I guess I belong to a brand new category”

“That is?”

“The ones who don't know what to do”

“Hehe well, that's surely a more honest category” Grace stands up and I immediately do the same.

“Did you tell somebody else? I mean, to our friends?”

“No”

“Why didn't you tell me before?”

“That's not exactly something you say during small talk, what do you think? Hi, I'm Grace, I'm an aquarious and my favorite color is red. Oh and by the way, I only got one foot”

“I... I need... yeah, I mean, I gotta get out” how can I tell her I need to leave without looking like a jerk? I have no idea, and that's why it comes out like shit.

“Are you leaving?” she asks as I take my jacket and start putting it on.

“I need some fresh air”

“Oh, ok”

“And I have to clear my mind.” as I try to put my arm into the second sleeve for the third time unsuccessfully, Grace has pity and helps me “Thank you”

“Are you ok, Stone?” I honestly don't know the answer to this question and I don't even know why.

“Sure, everything's alright.” I take her face into my hands and kiss her “It's just... I didn't see that coming, I have to... process it, figure all this out, that's it” I tell her and myself.

“After all these years, I still haven't found a better way to say it”

“Well, you won't need to find another way now anyway”

“No?”

“No, 'cause you're with me now, you won't have to say it to any other guy” I offer a more sincere smile to Grace, also because she deserve nothing less, and kiss her again.

“Thank god. See, you're not totally useless then”

“Good night, Pebbles”

“Night, Stone” I get out of Grace's apartment, then leave the building, then get into my car and that's when I realize I have been holding my breath the whole fucking time.

#pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanficion #eddie vedder fanfiction #eddie vedder #stone gossard #pearl jam #chapters

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blackcatmanor · 4 years

Text

RWBY V7 Episode 12 Photo Review (Spoilers)

..................WUT

I mean….I can’t really process what happened

So let’s get this part out of the way:

The Good:

Penny and Winter are the true BFFs

Penny becoming more human is endearing to see, and it’s been interesting to see her struggle with understanding emotions against Winter, who also struggles to understand them, in a way. Penny challenging Winter but never abandoning her to join RWBY is nice, and their light conflict is very well done because it shows Penny’s growing humanity struggle against Winter’s much chillier perspective. I really like the dynamic between these two and hope they continue on in the next volume (If Winter dies too this volume I’ll ragequit RWBY), and to be honest it’s become more of a cute bond than Ruby and Penny this volume. Don’t @ me

The fights

Although a lot of the “fights” in this volume were done off screen, when there is fighting this volume it has been extremely good. The camera moves around a lot less so we get a better sense of what is going on, and the moves feel more deliberate to whoever is doing the fighting, such as Ruby and Harriet who dart around a lot, delivering only occasional blows (and Ruby taking more of the blows because she’s not as good as Harriet in hand-to-hand), while Yang and Elm go all-out lady brawl (and it’s nice to see Yang’s semblance again)

Exception: Weiss.

Weiss’ over-reliance on Summoning is making her boring to watch in fights. Seeing the 300 different ways the animators show her spinning around and waving her sword like a magic wand is getting OLD. If you’re going to have her summon all the time, fine, but stop focusing the camera on her. Just show her very distantly in the background waving her sword/wand and focus on how people fight whatever she summons.

The meh:

RWBY vs Ace Ops- welp… I didn’t think the Ace Ops were gonna lose, I thought RWBY would flee and barely get away because the Ace Ops were supposed to be the best of the best. I guess I’m glad they didn’t just go down like total chumps (except Vine- sorry dude), but apparently if you train with the Ace Ops for 6 weeks, you’re as good as them. *Shrug* Who knew? It’s like Fitness Bootcamp- Train with a soldier on an obstacle course once and you’re basically ready to become a member of Seal Team 6, right?

I wish they would have explained this a little more- maybe looping back to the discussion they had in Episode 4 about being friends vs teammates. Maybe RWBY’s personal bond gives them more incentive to win, while the Ace Ops are just going through the motions because it’s just a job to them. Plus I think Elm and Marrow’s inner conflict also maybe helped tipped the sales towards RWBY, perhaps they weren’t trying their hardest, but I wish this was a little more clear

JNPR vs Neo

It’s kind of weird that Neo didn’t incapacitate Oscar, if she was planning to try trapping JNR as well… Or maybe Oscar barely managed to get away? Regardless, Neo had the lamp, so why stick around and wait for more people to show up? The plan was for her to get the lamp FROM Oscar, not necessarily grab Oscar as well. Maybe Neo has her own agenda, which would be cool, but from this episode it looks like she completed her objective but then waited around to fight some more. Maybe getting the lamp was too easy and she likes a challenge...? Who knows (I am saying that a lot for this episode, huh?)

Cinder vs Winter and Penny

This is obviously meh because not much happened, and it’s just set up for the big final fight. With the Ace Ops incap’ed, hopefully RWBY can come in as well to finally fight Cinder directly after dancing around her in V5. I think most of this will go down probably in the Relic room because a grand fight in a cramped hospital room is hard, so I think Cinder will be able to Grimm-snatch the Winter Maiden powers and go down to the relic room, or she will incapacitate whoever does get the powers and drag them there, only to be stopped by RWBY for a big battle. However I don’t think it’ll be Winter Schnee getting the powers since it’ll take too long for the transfer device and they are out of time. I KINDA think now it might be Penny- a girl with an aura/soul- somehow she’ll receive them and it’ll be part of her becoming a real girl (like Pinocchio). Who knows? At this point who gets them is totally up in the air.

The Ugly:

I guess I was right about Tyrian escaping custody again, but it wasn’t because of Salem intervening with Grimm like I thought. It was because Robyn is a terrible person!

Robyn- Please kindly f- off:

I officially HATE Robyn the most. After teetering on a “meh-leaning-towards-general-dislike” feeling, I loathe her now and I hope she gets killed off quickly. She’s a one-dimensional generic hothead character with no personality that is purposely stuck in to create conflict. She is the good guy’s Tyrian- but Tyrian has a reason to be chaotic: He’s an insane zealot. Robyn is just a poorly written idiot.

Robyn just does stupid things that get in everyone’s way all of the time, and actively works to undermine the hero’s at each turn. She prevented the launch of Amity by stealing all the supplies, and now she is going to try and fight in the middle of a cramped ship, risking Tyrian’s escape rather than waiting 5 minutes to duke it out with Clover once Tyrian is safely in jail. The entire time they were squaring off on the ship I kept thinking “Uhm Tyrian’s right there….Tyrian is RIGHT THERE! He’s gonna get out!” Robyn is a liar. She doesn’t care about the people of Mantle, because she’s doing things that could (and did) lead to a serial killer who killed Mantle Citizens escaping.

Not to mention she could have taken Qrow’s advice and talk to Ironwood first! Literally 2 episodes ago you were saying the General had your support and now you’re like “I’LL FIGHT ANYONE, ANYWHERE. Forget talking to people to get the full details and actually following through upon that trust I claimed I had in Ironwood two episodes ago, I’m gonna risk everyone’s lives to fight this out RIGHT here!” She’s the worst!

Confrontation with Qrow and Clover-

This falls under the Ugly because, despite some good dialogue between Clover and Qrow, with Qrow expressing that he feels manipulated while Clover tries to explain his own point of view, every decision made from here on Qrow’s part is inexcusable and totally irrational.

Tyrian joins the fray and inexplicably Qrow agrees to team up with him to take down Clover because THAT can’t possibly fail spectacularly.

Tyrian suggests “putting the kid to bed” but the entire time I knew Tyrian would betray Qrow and go too far with attacking Clover because OF COURSE HE WOULD. But I thought he would sting Clover as a chance to get away, because Qrow would have to focus on getting Clover help. However, what we got was…much, much worse.

Qrow’s questionable decision making

Hey DUMMY- Why not team up with Clover first to neutralize Tyrian again, and then you and Clover can duke it out. Or you and Clover can go talk to James like you wanted to 10 minutes ago!

Oh right…because “You got a score to settle” with Tyrian because this is now a cheesy western where your ego is more important than logic.

I think his bad luck semblance is really just an idiot semblance- like occasionally his semblance makes him do stupid things, leading to horrible outcomes but he mistakenly chalks it up to “bad luck.” It’s also frustrating because this volume they were setting Qrow up to grow into a good character- someone with a lot of anger from the past who learns to cope with it, and learns to accept friendship from others. I guess that’s all over.

So, sadly, Tyrian then murders Clover. It was shocking I will say that...I actually GASPED, and it led to this really cool shot:

But the shock was partly for the wrong reason. Like I said before, I thought Qrow being a dumb-dumb would lead to Clover being injured, sure, but KILLED? Yikes! Qrow’s idiocy leading to Clover being injured would be frustrating, but not unforgivable narratively and he could learn from it. He would learn to not treat his friends as transactional, and automatically write them off when one hint of struggle happens. Qrow’s idiocy in teaming up with a serial killer and getting Clover killed kinda makes Qrow unforgivable in my book. Does CRWBY want me to hate Qrow? I guess so, especially because Clover’s dying scene didn’t exactly stick the landing and alleviate my anger towards Qrow either....

So poor dying Clover is lying there, and a visibly shaken Qrow kneels next to him. So the thought is Qrow is going to realize his horrible mistake, and dive down a pool of self-loathing: tearfully blaming himself, blaming his bad luck, APOLOGIZING, upset about how it’s all his fault, etc. Instead, he delivers (with a straight face) the weirdest line ever about James taking the fall. UHHH- WUT? You teaming up with Tyrian led to this. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

This sucks. On several levels. Clover’s death was just plain poorly done and a good character was wasted. I really liked Clover. I thought Qrow was going to actually get a break from being shit on this entire series and finally get, at a minimum, a friend that would continue to help him grow and develop as a character, pushing Qrow to see the best in himself and stop continually hating himself. With that cut short, I of course felt super sad and emotional about Clover’s death, even to the point of almost crying.

However, I can’t pretend like a significant part of that isn’t pure frustration anger about how this episode played out. Not only did Clover’s death came about in the dumbest way, but his final words with Qrow were wasted by the weird “James will take the fall” bit.

Qrow should have blamed himself and his semblance (I mean...it actually kinda is his fault, not gonna lie), and Clover could have maybe been the ultimate friend to him, telling Qrow that it happened because Qrow was fighting for what he thought was right, and even though the outcome was horrible he shouldn’t stop fighting for what he believes in…? I dunno….ANYTHING other than “GRRR James will pay”

I can’t help but remember a mere few minutes ago.....

This episode.....woof.

In a long series, you want your hero’s to sometimes lose just to keep it interesting, and to give them something to have to crawl back from. However, what’s interesting is seeing the characters try their best, make reasonable and decent decisions and still suffer a loss, because it makes us want to continue to cheer them on and watch as they make a triumphant comeback. Seeing hero’s simply choke and fail because they make the dumbest, irrational decisions with no logical reason is just frustrating and excruciating to watch, and seeing those moments lead to other characters suffering makes your “hero’s” unlikable.

This argument was made for the V6 climax- that RWBY made a dumb decision and others suffered the consequences, making them “evil” to some hateboner watchers, but I thought this assessment was over dramatic. You have to take things in context, and literally nothing came of RWBY’s decision to steal an airship: the universe was the same as it was before with some filler in the middle. No one was injured or killed, and even the damage to the city was minimal (one roof). Clover, though, is full-on dead and that is entirely Qrow’s fault. I just can’t believe the writers put this down on paper, re-read it, and though- “yea....Someone who totally make the decision to team up with a murderer to subdue their good friend....this is gonna be GREAT.”

But who cares about the story- NEW MERCH DROPPING SOON AMIRITE?!

Ok that was a low blow, but the writing and characters inexplicably took a logical nose dive this episode, after having a lot of thought put into last episode. The characters (especially Qrow, but also Robyn and to a lesser extent Clover) could have made some reasonable and logical decisions and Clover still could have died, which would have had way more impact and made the situation seem way more hopeless. Instead we got Robyn kicking off the shitshow by being just the worst, and Qrow taking the shitshow torch and cranking it up to 11, effectively un-doing all of the development we’ve seen from him this season.

Lastly, even if you are going to have the characters completely fail at making decisions and it leads to a horrible outcome, at least stick the landing and don’t have them go off on some odd tangent about how this is someone else’s fault. *facepalm*

Overall I’d give this episode a very generous 2/10.

The 2 points is because of the decent fight animation and occasionally decent dialogue.

I’m tired...

#rwby v7 #rwby spoilers #rwby vol7 #Robyn Hill #qrow branwen #clover ebi #marrow amin #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #penny polendina #winter schnee #cinder fall #tyrian callows #rwby salem #oscar pine

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polygamyff · 4 years

Text

51.

Smiling at the picture Robyn sent me of Reign, I sweat her teeth are the cutest thing I have seen. The top ones of pushing through but the bottom two have come up so quick, I love to see it. I love Robyn sends me pictures of Reign while I am at work “Maurice! The meeting is now in session, can you hurry up” getting up from my seat, Ally stepped into my office and eye-balled me “I am here” closing my laptop and picking it up, I need to set up my team. I am practically taking over next week, well I already have but my dad hasn’t done his little ceremony yet “here I am, let’s go. Is Kellen here?” this is going to be interesting “yes, and so is Nalah. They are all waiting on you so come on” walking inside the meeting room “morning everyone, your boss is here. Don’t get all worried now” I am sure they hate me “morning Maurice” only one person said “whoever didn’t say morning is fired, so try again” pulling my chair out “be quiet and sit down” here is Nalah, ruining my moment “I should have done a separate meeting with Nalah, she is ruining my moment here” sitting down “so let’s get straight to it, shares have fallen. Why? And that is aimed at my account’s management, well anyone really. So, answer” I didn’t know shares fell, Ally told me “erm, I will answer so it’s seasonal. It fluctuates, this is normal. You are in the process of moving over from your dad to you, so sometimes it can happen. It’s nothing to worry about I can assure you sir” nodding my head “good, so let’s get to it. Kellen, he is my cousin as you all know. I am putting him on overseas, he will be in Tokyo. Alongside Nalah, but she will be there for a week. We need to really hurry this Tokyo hotel, I don’t want to spend too much time on it because as you know. I have other ventures, the Davenport apartments, they should be opening soon. And then the homes in New Jersey but we are in arguments with, you know who. That should be dealt with. So anyways, Kellen. You will be overseeing Tokyo, now I want to know you will be ok with that?” Kellen has lost so much weight, he has been stressing “I will be fine, I have worked alongside uncle. I will get it done” nodding my head “Nalah, you can help him” I am speeding up this meeting because I have a meet and greet with some kids, I mean I didn’t ask for this but Nalah and this program.

Throwing my laptop onto the couch in my office sighing out, the meeting lasted longer than I wanted “my brother” turning around “oh, Shawn” shaking his hand and then hugging him “it’s been weeks? What the hell? Are you upset with me” shaking my head stepping back “busy, I mind my own shit now. It’s about me and my family, so yeah. That is it” moving back from Shawn “yeah but a phone call, I called you and you text me back saying soon, that soon turned into weeks, why? I thought we was good” licking my bottom lip sighing out “look, it’s nothing to do with I hate you, I just have my own life. I am settled now, I am not in need of someone to watch me not die, but that don’t mean I am resentful of you dating my sister, ask Nalah she is chasing me” seeing Nalah walk into my office “I think Shawn misses you” rubbing my chin making my way around my desk as I sat down “I can tell, and I can’t be angry at that but I am just here and then back home. I am so settled right now, that is it. My home is always open to you but I go home to see my kid and my girl. And then when Robyn works, I am taking care of Reign so tell me, when do I get time to have fun. I am all out of that now, but I love you” Shawn looks really upset “I just feel like we ain’t close anymore, and no offence to Nalah but I couldn’t lose what we got and I just found it hard to come here, Nalah said just do it and say it. I miss you” I laughed lowly “that is emotional for you, if Nalah felt I was being a dick. She would say it, it’s just new for me. I have a routine and yes, I need to make time for others around me, but my door was never closed for you” Nalah is laughing “he goes, Jay took my place and I swear it made me laugh” it’s nice to see them both happy “maybe he has, I am joking. Look, this weekend we can do what you want yeah? Just me and you? Sexually” I smiled “nigga be quiet, can we just go and have our usual time?” I paused “usual? Nalah, you hear this, usual is Hollywood hill party?” I pointed at him “the amount of grovelling he has done and you equally with Robyn, I trust you both, but go and have fun together somewhere” Nalah shrugged “how about we go, Milan” I pointed at him “the friends are out there this weekend too, let’s do it. Boys trip” Shawn is happy, he was so sad about this and I didn’t mean to do it.

You know when they say don’t worry about the shares going down, I am worried because this is not a good thing “and this is where Maurice Davenport sits, let’s knock first” rolling my eyes, I guess this is them. Hearing the knock on the door “yeah, come in!” I shouted, I don’t know anything about this programme at all, not since I have kept away from it and Nalah took it under her wing “hey” Nalah said, smiling at her “so this is where Maurice spends most of his day, and luckily today he is in so come on in” seeing the college kids walk in “hi” they are so shy, it’s cute to see. Smiling at them “it’s the main dog, you remember me right!?” squinting my eyes at him “I know him, I know his girl” I think I do “uhm, you’re” I pointing at him “you’re Jason, the kid I met where Robyn helped out. You’re in New York” he walked over to my desk “hell yes, I got chosen. I work in your hotel. The Hilton” shaking his hand “wow, that is good. And they chose you?” he seems so happy about this “they said I could take your seat you see, I told y’all. I said it, I know this guy. Where is my girl Robyn? How is she? I miss her, she is so beautiful” standing up from my seat laughing “you’re funny and she’s well, she don’t miss you. And if you would like to all come in. Least there isn’t more then five here. Close the door” I pointed “and you stand down there” walking around my desk “let’s go around the room and get to know each other, let’s start off with you beautiful” pointing at the girl, her eyes widened “oh me?” she pointed “yes” I nodded “I’m Kayla” nodding my head “and what do you do, for free time?” I asked “nails, I can do my own nails” she showed me her hands “they are pretty, so do you also know this clown?” I pointed at Jason “he is in my class in college, I want to say Mr Maurice that your program chose me, paying for my scholarship, I thank you so much” smiling at her “I want my people to prosper, we do this for you. Seeing some talented young black kids not get somewhere because of money, I did this for you, and you all special that is why you received what you got. And coming here is a bonus, a break away and some fun, but what about you?” pointing at the next girl, it is good to see this.

Rolling my eyes at Jason “I am bored, anyways” Jason hit my arm laughing “you’re rude” clearing my throat “so tell us Maurice, boss man you tell us about you” Jason said “but you know me, what more do you want me to say? Ok, you ask me. What you want to know?” sitting on the edge of my desk “any question? You won’t whoop my ass question?” I shrugged “try me” crossing my arms across my chest “ok, I have a legit question. I heard you dated one of the Hadid sisters, and then you fucked with Chanel Iman and girls like that. What made you want to be with a regular girl? Like come on, these girls are beautiful, my Robyn is beautiful too but like you had these women and they famous” laughing as I looked at Nalah “I’ve always wanted to ask you this, like I have so many questions” this Jason kid is stupid “ain’t this supposed to be work related, and how the hell did you research that so well?” I am confused “I did a report on you, so I had yo research you so tell me” nodding my head slowly “well, I have met plenty of women. I have lost count, I have women saying remember me, I don’t. It’s not something you remember when you see people every day unless you’re my assistant then I will, I did technically kind of fuck with them, maybe I don’t know” I laughed “but Robyn gets me, she makes me laugh. It’s about that connection, it’s noting else. Robyn and I have a connection. So there, that is why. It’s nothing to do with famous or whatever, we have that connection now that question was dumb. You’re nosey” I pointed at him “can I ask?” Kayla raised her hand “sure” she better has a good question “how come Nalah never was the boss of the company. You are her younger brother or was it something she didn’t want?” that is a good question, blowing out air “so” I dragged out “I want to put this out there that I want you all to succeed, male or female so what it is. My dad, my grandparents or whatever made this rule, first born son has it. So, I was the first born son, so it came to me but that is not it anymore. If my daughter wants this then she can, or if she wants to be anything else she can. It was an incredibly old idea but Nalah has been the best sister with me, so that is why” I hope I explained myself well enough.

I am glad to be home, I mean it was nice seeing those kids and Jason, he’s funny but stupid “papa is home” opening the baby gate “Reign, daddy is home” I hate this baby gate “yes I am and it is papa thank you” closing the gate behind me “stop that shit, it’s ugly. Welcome home baby, come to us” taking my suit jacket off and throwing on the couch “hey Mi Amor, what you doing?” walking around the couch, the biggest smile on Reign’ face “come on” I stood with my arms open “come to papa” getting down on my knees “you going to give him a hug, go on baby” Robyn said, I want her to walk so bad “come here, look” getting my phone out from my pocket “I got this baby come” unlocking it, Reign is thinking. I know she is, she just needs to let go of the side of the table “come here” I know she wants to do it, I knew it. Shuffling closer to her, it may be a distance away from “da” she pointed at me “yes, da is here and wants hugs and lots of kisses from you come. Give papa a kiss” pointing at my cheek, she is so damn cute in her body suit with her fat little legs out “she might do it Maurice, oh my god” Robyn said in whisper “come, look” turning my phone to her, Reign is scared I can tell “oh my god” my eyes widened watching Reign let go of the side and took her first time with her arms held up “come on, come on!” she took another, after another, after another and I caught her before she fell “yay!!! Oh my god, Reign. You did it” I spat hugging her so close “I saw my baby walk” Robyn said, looking up at her being an emotional mess “you are the bravest baby, oh god. I am so proud of you Reign” she doesn’t understand the fuss, she wanted my phone “god, why am I even crying” Robyn said “she is growing up, I am so happy to have witnessed it. Like my heart” pressing a kiss to the top of her head “same, it’s emotional. I am shocked, like she was so ready for it but was scared” I honestly thought I would be crying but no, Robyn is. I am just so proud of her, Reign did it and I was here to see it.

Watching Reign on the floor clapping her hands while Mickey claps, she is responding to what he does now, but her screaming is driving me up the wall “here, this came in the post. Who’s wedding is it?” Robyn threw the card on my chest, picking it off of my chest “mhmmm, don’t know” Opening up the envelope “I have no idea who be getting married anyways” pulling the card out “it’s fancy too, looks like when your singing important documents” opening it up, I frowned looking at it. Getting up from my position sitting up “what is it?” Robyn asked “Reign, be quiet. It says together with their parents Marquis, Joy and Terry, Thomas request the pleasure of the company of Maurice Davenport and Robyn Willis to celebrate their wedding ceremony and” looking up at Robyn “it’s at the ballroom where I am having the ceremony for the business in California?” Robyn got up and snatched the card from me, what the hell is this. Picking up the envelope to check on the handwriting “this is my dad’ handwriting” checking inside the envelope, feeling a note in there and pulling it out and opening it up “so your dad did this, read that to me” Robyn said “Robyn and Maurice, I have heard many stories, many times, and many hours of the day on when you both will get married. It is always on hold, it is always on hold because of Maurice. He is a stupid boy, but my boy. This is my goodbye gift from me to you, this way I get to see my son get married, I know he is finally ready to be married to the woman he loves dearly. I want to do this wedding; all I need is for you both to turn up. Once you open this envelope I want you both to count down the days, I think I feel is if I leave it to you both, it will never happen. It is my time to make it right by him, so I Marquis Davenport invite you both to your wedding day, my gift to you both and Reign, my angel. Love dad” closing the note and looking at Robyn, she is just staring at me.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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malcolmbrights-a · 4 years

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HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS, DOLLS, AND FRIENDS!

i’m awful at these, but i wanted to show my love to the people who write with me in some sort of way since i appreciate you guys so so much. i hope in the new year everyone has a great year and that you get lucky in some shape or form, and that sadness hits you a little less hard. LOVE YOU ALL!!!

people i write with:

@yagirlbrit-writes

i love you so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!! i am so glad that we’ve been friends for so long!!!!!!!!!! i honestly would’ve never been the person i am today without some of your positive influence!!!!!!! like the fact that i’m so open about being a lesbian now is because of you and i’m so thankful that you gave me the power of self love because of that!!!!!! anyways, i love all of your characters and i’m so happy that i get to interact with them and get to read your writing because you are so fucking talented. have a happy new year sis!

@engeljjk

we’ve been talking for years and i’m so appreciative of you and our friendship!!! it makes me so glad to know that we met in a random ass roleplay years ago and we still talk after all of these years. i love you and i love how brillian you are. like some of the stuff you talk about makes me feel dumb because you are crazy smart but i learn so much from you too. headcanoning with you and discussing ships and characters has truly been a gift and i’m so glad that you still do it with me. have a happy new year boo!

@outfromthesea

i’m pretty sure i have more plots with you than i have with anyone else lmfao. so that should say how much i love writing and headcanoning with you. you honestly light up my life kayla and are truly one of the sweetest, most brillian people i’ve ever met. next ever change. i hope that going into the new year that life treats you well and that you have a good one!!! but omg all of your characters are so fucking developed and i love that you give me monster headcanons and are patient with my dumb of ass

@shutuprhian

i’ve only known you for a year but i love you so fucking much girl! you’re always making me laugh and you always have something interesting to say. like you truly are the queen of taking my cursed plots and making them more awesome with your brilliant as fuck ideas. the way your brain works when it comes to visuals has honestly helped me imagine things so much better and has helped make roleplay fun for me again. here’s hoping for a happy new year to you and a good year for our friendship!

@coolgirlwrites

lol me and you always come back to each other even when we disappear and our ships are like some of the longest running ships i’ve ever had. i love our babies but i love you even more and i’m so blessed that we met each other all those years ago on that stupid ass forum where we both were young and had no idea how to write.

@sweetwinewrites

tee, the tea is that i love you and you’re my girl. i love sending you things that will traumatize you but i mostly send them because i know deep down they will make you laugh and i love the idea of you laughing, soooooo. but yeah, i hope you have a happy new year! i love you and your characters and you mean so much to me!

@fayelistic

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyeee. you are my best forum friend!!! i’m so happy you reached out to plot with me 2 (or was it 3 years ago) on ignite because you have quickly became a best friend to me. i love you so fucking much and our threads and comms are always super fucking exciting to me. thanks for humoring me all the time and telling me about your life. i love hearing about it. and i love you. happy new year!

@shesuperlit

ma’am! i must confess that i love everything you have ever produced and i see you as writing god soooooo uhm, yes. thanks for sharing your characters with me and like making me laugh my ass off with our ridiculous headcanon scenes and threads. and tbh making me laugh as a whole jkfhskjdhsf have a happy new year!!!!!!!!!

@leiaskywclker

omg omg omg i’ve basically known you ages and have followed you for ages but haven’t really spoken to you until now? like i’m surprised since we had the og brotp maura x mia but like we never really talked. you were always liking and commenting on my self threads and that always made me feel really good tho, so thanks. and i’m glad we talk now because you’re cool and have such brilliant characters and ideas and i’m so glad that i’m getting to know them! happy new year!

@theycallmeloveless

lmfao we’ve only known each other a few months but honestly i love talking to you. like sure we both started talking because we were obsessed with the clown movie and richie tozier but now i’ve noticed we have more in common and i think that’s pretty fucking neat. i am so happy that we have so many plots together and can’t wait to plot more with you. BUT REMEMBER, PENNY THIGHS THE ASS CLAPPING CLOWN ;) wonk djfhdjksfs

@lostghoul

grimm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uhm, hello grimm!!!!!!!!!!! everytime we talk i always get so much out of you. we don’t talk too much but i know so fucking much about georgia and victoria due to what you’ve told me and i love them and our ships so much. you can tell you put a lot of thought into them and your work and it makes me honored to write with you. also also also our ooc conversations are fucking awesome always. so there’s that too. lots of love and happy new year!

@leftlipstick

honestly, jess!!! i am so fucking thankful that you write with me because you are truly such a fantastic writer!!! i feel like every thread we have together i learn something new and i’m in awe of everything you do and every character i��ve gotten to write with!!! i’m so fucking happy that we talk, whether it’s about ooc things or ic things. and i’m so happy that you’re patient with me because sometimes i am so slow. but i hope that the new year is good for you and i can’t wait to write with you in this new year and maybe grow closer to you as a friend!

@undermyanumbrella

THE QUEEN OF BEAUTIFUL HEADCANONS. seriously, it is so hard to find people who headcanon as much as i do, but i found you and it was like recieving the best birthday gift ever. xD i love our girls and i love that you headcanon with me because you can tell you put so much work into abigail. also i think you’re just pretty cool as a whole, so i hope that our friendship can develop in the new future and that we can add some extra muses to our roster. but omg happy new year, queen!

@pretendsweetly

abby you are such a sweetheart and i’m so happy to have known you. you are such a talented writer and every time you post a response to one of our threads, i’m like “!!!!” because your responses are always so good. i also enjoy hearing from you whenever you message me because you always have something interesting to say. oh and you share my love of ladies loving ladies so i’m like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. happy new years!! i hope our friendship flourishes in the new year!

@bvckywrites

uhm hello adrian! ameezing, bad bitch adrian! hope you have a happy new year and i hope it treats you well. i feel like everytime we’ve spoken it’s been an absolute treat and i’m so fucking happy that you’re patient with me even though i can sometimes be a goddamn slowpoke. but holy shit. i love all of your characters so much. they are all differenet and all have lots of depth, so i’m happy that you let them interact with my muses. and i’m happy for any conversations that we have!

@sircnss

we don’t talk because i’m a shy dumbass who’s a bit intimidated by you because you seem cool and i’m dumb of ass. but you are such a good writer! i love our little ship thing with claudia and holly! their relationship is refreshing and it’s interesting to see where it goes. have a happy new year!!

@pmbrlys

i don’t even know if you’re around anymore, but honestly, headcanoning with you was truly one of the best headcanoning experiences ever. like you know so much about your boys and any scenario i threw at you you threw something cool back at me and i was so in awe of it. our ooc conversations were cool too and i’m so happy that we got to talk in general because you seem great!

@aholywrathincurred

angie, we’ve been talking for ages. i love our ships and i love you even more. we might not talk as much as we used to but i’m so thankful to have met you and i feel like you’ve made some of my rather boring years a lot of fun. so thank you for being my pal and happy new year!!

@nastyevilgirl

we haven’t known each other too long but you are talented and lovely and yeeeeeeeeeeeah we have a lot of plots already because we vibe so well. have a good year and i hope we continue being friends and developing our boos!

#elliesfinishedworks #i'm gonna make one for my mutals as a follow forever #but for now just wanted to do ppl i write with #i hope i didn't hurt anyone's feelings #and if i forgot someone i write with currently. i'm sorry. i didn't forget on purpose #but yeah have a happy new year

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 5 years

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Chapter 3 - (totally uninterested.)

I had no clue what Harry expected in terms of him and I pretending to be together. I mean, not only was it a bad idea and a huge reach, but we had enough trouble just sitting beside each other in the library.

And, let’s be real. I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t live under a rock. I’d seen all the movies and read all the stupid books that had this storyline. Pretend to date. Get feelings. Things get messy. Make up. Live happily ever after.

This wasn’t that type of thing and Harry and I certainly weren’t those types of people. I mean, my trip to the dining hall with him and Ethan was the first time we’d really spent time together outside of work. We’d bump into each other at parties or around campus, but we couldn’t even call ourselves friends. We were coworkers. That was it.

So when I walked into the library on Sunday to find him already at the desk, I immediately felt awkward and weird and altogether just filled with regret that I’d agreed to something so stupid.

I’d avoided him for the remainder of the night on Friday--he tried to say goodbye to me and Kristen when we were at the door, but I escaped unscathed by making Kristen pretend she was more drunk than she was.

So now, on Sunday night at 7:56pm (right in time for our 8pm shift), I needed to tell Harry the deal was off.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend time with Ethan, it wasn’t that I didn’t want him to fall in love with me, but faking any sort of anything with Harry seemed forced and exaggerated and all around overwhelming.

“Hi,” I greeted him with a hesitant smile, dropping my bag over the counter to fall onto the desk. He looked up from his phone and smiled.

“Happy Sunday,” he greeted, his next words laced with sarcasm. “Ready for a quiet night?”

Sundays had a reputation in the library to be rather unpredictable. You had some people who wanted to bunker down, get some studying in, and start the week fresh. But you also had a high likelihood of having people lose their shit, get angry at the desk staff, and stir up trouble.

We also had a lot of responsibilities going into a new week. Make sure all the returns were stacked. Go over the study room reservations and confirm with students. Double check the schedule for computer classrooms that had been reserved by professors.

Sundays were busier than any other day--which was arguably both good and bad if I intended to have a conversation with Harry about the status of our “relationship.”

Good because if things got awkward or weird we’d have enough stuff to keep us busy. Bad because I needed to actually have a serious conversation with someone who maybe, possibly didn’t have a serious bone in his body.

“Can we talk, actually?”

“Mhm,” he said absentmindedly, he kept his eyes on his phone for a second but then looked up at me and waited--apparently--for me to dive right in.

“Oh, uhm, I just--I don’t think the whole fake dating thing is a good idea actually.”

He laughed. “What? Why not? It’s just for him, I mean, don’t you think it’ll work?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, finally now walking around the desk to take my spot beside him. “I just, I don’t want to like, get too deep into a lie that we can’t get out of it.”

He smiled a little, surprisingly more understanding and nice than I’d ever experienced. “Nora, it’s fine. It’ll be short-term. Let’s just hang out a few times and act like a couple around him and then we’ll ‘break up,’” he put air quotes around the term.

The idea of it being short term felt more promising. I felt kind of weird though--hesitant to let myself think that maybe there was a side of Harry that I actually liked--or at least, could pretend to like. “Yeah,” I said, letting the idea sink in fully. “Okay. Just, then, we have to figure out what it means.”

“What it means?” He asked, his eyebrows scrunching together.

“Yeah, like, some guidelines and some ideas of what we’ll do and not do and--just a plan.”

He nodded. “A plan. Okay.”

I stared at him, hoping he’d get us started, but he kept his eyes on mine, wide and with a smirk pulling at his lips. “You first.”

I let out a groan. “Harry, I don’t know. You’re the one who had this stupid idea to begin with.”

“It’s not stupid,” he rolled his eyes, turning back to the computer to click around on a few tabs he had open. “You get to hang out with Ethan. I’m doing something nice for you so you keep your mouth shut about my volunteer stuff. It’s a win-win.”

He was right, for the most part. I sighed, leaned back in my chair, and put my feet up on the desk, buckling in for a wild Sunday night.

“Okay,” I said. “Don’t tell anyone else that we’re doing this. Obviously--that’s rule number one.”

“Okay. Rule number two is that you only get to come over to my apartment twice a week.” He paused and waited for me to object. “I don’t think I can stand you anymore than that.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed past his insult. “Rule three is that you can’t tell your dumb friends that we’re having sex, cause, we’re not. At all.”

“Okay,” he laughed. “Rule four is that you need to actually act like you like me.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You first.”

“Nora,” he laughed, running a hand through his long hair. “You don’t have to act like it here, but don’t bicker with me so much in front of Ethan or Ryan and them. Channel your acting skills--or at least try.”

“You’re so dramatic, I can act just fine.”

“We’ll see,” he sighed. “Rule five--”

“I get to make rule five,” I reminded him. “You just made rule four.”

He stared at me with a blank expression, exceptionally bored by my protest.

“Rule five,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest, “is that you can’t--like--get in the way of me and Ethan. You need to let me dump you as soon as it seems like he’s interested and like something will happen.”

He made some kind of face as if he were dismissing what I was saying. “Okay, fine. Rule five A is that you can’t get in the way of me hooking up with other girls. And you can’t be weird if I do. I’ll keep it on the down-low.”

“Alright, yeah, sure, whatever. Anything else?”

He brought a finger up to his lip and pulled at it gently. “Hmmm.”

“Minimal touching,” I said.

“Minimal touching?

“Mhm. Minimal.”

He let out a laugh and fought the smirk that tugged at his expression. “Minimal, you got it.”

Ethan might end up here tonight if you want to come over.

Can’t, grocery shopping with Kristen! Sorry!

It’s all good.

You’re so late. You owe me like four extra Ethan sessions this week.

Ethan sessions? He’s not an animal. No extra. Rule two.

You’re blocking! That’s rule five!

Not blocking. Ryan has been at his place this week, actually. I’ll tell you if I see him.

You know how when you sign into the desk computer it makes that noise? I heard it in my dream last night.

We spend way too much time there

I hate that noise.

I hate everything about the library.

Even me?

Especially you.

Lol.

Kristen absolutely, one hundred percent, totally thought this was a bad idea. I couldn’t really blame her. I might have broken rule one by telling her about it in the first place, but I also knew that a) she wouldn’t tell anyone, and b) she wouldn’t tell Harry that I’d broken rule one. She was also my best friend--she had the right to know all of the details about my fake love life.

Harry was also ridiculously stupid if he thought that I was going to let my best friend believe that I was dating my obnoxious coworker who I regularly complained about.

Now she was sat across from me in the dining hall, taking a pause from her sandwich to enlighten me.

“I just feel like you’re getting into something that’s gonna get messy. I mean--not that it will work--”

“You don’t know that,” I reminded her, trying to keep hold of the glimmer of hope I had. It was worth a shot, right? I certainly didn’t have a better chance with Ethan if I wasn’t hanging out with Harry.

“But if it does work,” she said, her cup of soda in her hand as she thought aloud. “How are you gonna explain things to Ethan that you fake dated someone to get his attention?”

“I’m not gonna tell him that,” I said simply. “He’ll never know. It’ll be fine. Our kids will just think we met in college and fell in love. Typical.”

She let out a noise of uncertainty, but I couldn’t respond--the chair beside me was suddenly occupied by Harry. Across from him Niall sat down, next to Niall was Ryan, and next to Harry was Ethan.

Kristen locked eyes with me and made an anxious face, which I simply ignored as Harry greeted me with a smile.

“Hey babe,” he said, his words casual as he set his glass down after taking a sip of water.

“Hi, hello, what’s up?” I forced words out, hoping to God that I didn’t sound as moronic and incompetent as I did in my head.

Babe? We hadn’t even talked about pet names. Babe seemed to be pretty straight forward and not very embarrassing. He could have called me Norie like my parents would, or, worse, sweet cheeks or pumpkin or something altogether gag-worthy.

“Beautiful day is what’s up,” Niall answered. “First day all week with no rain.”

“The rain is nice sometimes,” Harry argued, “makes us appreciate the sunshine.”

“Okay--that’s got t’be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said,” Niall laughed, causing Ryan and Ethan to chuckle as well.

“Speaking of sunshine,” Ryan said, leaning forward.

“Oh, right,” Harry said, almost as if he’d forgotten something. “Have either of you seen that mini golf place right on the Potomac?”

Kristin and I shook our heads. I bit into the french fry in my hand and waited for him to continue.

“We should all go, there’s a deal where groups of five or more get half off on Fridays.”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding as I scanned the table. They all seemed to be interested, even Ethan down at the end. “That sounds great.”

“We’ll bring Alex, too,” Niall explained. “This friday. We can go over to the river and play some mini golf and grab dinner or something beforehand. Drinks too, if we want.”

Kristen shot me another look across the table--wondering if I’d told Harry yet that I still wasn’t twenty-one. Now didn’t feel like a good time.

“Yeah,” Ethan said, leaning past Harry to smile at both Kristin and I. “It’ll be a lot of fun.”

Mini-golf struck me as something that I normally wouldn’t be caught dead doing. I mean--I wasn’t terrible, but I definitely wasn’t any good.

The course was right next to the Potomac river, meaning a breeze blew steadily as we picked out our putters and got through the first few holes. Planes landed overhead at Reagan airport, and the sun was getting lower in the sky--Kristen wasn’t nervous about her homework (she’d worked hard in advance knowing that we had plans) and Harry even seemed to be less cranky than usual.

The whole thing--the seven of us laughing and bickering and taking turns being idiots on the course--kind of struck me as something you’d see in a stupid movie. If only there’d been some cheesy pop song playing over a montage of Niall and Kristen laughing their heads off and high-fiving when I sent my ball flying into the small pond beside hole 3.

“Oh relax,” Harry said with a laugh as he fell into step beside me. “You’re fine--Niall’s really good at it, so he makes the lot of us look bad.”

I let out a sigh, watching as Alex teed up at hole 4. Harry had been fine so far--we hadn’t really interacted much one on one, he draped an arm over my shoulders for a split second to kind of sell the whole we’re dating thing, but other than that, it felt like a regular group of friends out for a fun (or not so fun) night of mini-golf.

“Easy for you to say when you’re in third place.”

Kristen walked beside Ethan behind us, they were talking about something school-related, but I couldn’t quite hear. I gave Kristen explicit rules before we met the guys for dinner. Talk about me with Ethan if it makes sense (don’t just bring me up and make it seem like you’re trying to talk about me), make me look good if possible (say that I’m funny, tell him good stories about the fun things we do), and maybe even sit next to Harry so I can sit next to Ethan.

So far, so good.

“You get too in your head about it. You’re probably busy trying to look good,” he lowered his voice so Ethan wouldn’t hear his comment.

I let out a laugh and shoved him my elbow. “So what if I am?”

He rolled his eyes at this and ran a hand over his head, keeping the strands of hair in place that had flown loose from his bun.

“Is it a crime?” I asked, my voice louder now and a bit more playful. “Is that so wrong?”

My penchant for being loud and boisterous was only exaggerated by the way it made Harry uncomfortable. The more he rolled his eyes at me, the more he acted like I was being so obnoxious, the more I wanted to do it. That’s just kind of how we were.

So here, in a public place with plenty of other people out enjoying a Friday night at mini-golf, my loud laughter and Harry’s eye rolls seemed to be just as fitting as they were behind the information desk.

“Get out of your own head,” he said again, turning to look over quickly to see his place line. Ryan was up, meaning soon I’d have to put on another show of my terrible golf skills, and then it’s be Harry’s turn.

“So Nora, you’re a journalism major with Niall, right?” Ethan’s voice sounded behind me, causing me to turn quickly to face him and Kristen.

Kristen smiled--which seemed to convey a message that they’d been talking about me somewhat, and I nodded. “Yeah--I really like it, actually. Hoping to get an internship next semester.”

“Oh, yeah! That’d be awesome. Is it a requirement for your degree?”

His blonde hair was hid beneath a backwards hat--a few wisps stuck out above his ears. I wondered what his hair felt like, but I shook the thought out of my mind in order to answer him.

I nodded again. “I have to do two. I did one last year and I was kind of hoping to just get this one over with. That way I can enjoy senior year without any big requirements like that.”

“Don’t forget our capstone, though!” Niall said from a few people over, apparently overhearing our conversation. He watched as Ryan finished his last put, sinking the ball into the hole in only three shots. “I get nightmares now just thinkin’ about it.”

“You’re up, babe,” Harry reminded, nodding his head in the direction of the green.

It was a warm night--the September air was cool enough that we’d all brought light jackets or sweatshirts, but Niall was in shorts as he fed me words of encouragement. “This is it, Nora. Your hole in one. I believe in you.”

“That makes one of us,” I said under my breath, laughing a little as I placed my ball on the small tee and shook out my shoulders.

Harry laughed at this--apparently my getting in the moment routine was comical to him--and I shot him a look through narrowed eyes before I gripped my hands around the putter.

“Straighten up,” he said from the sidelines. I looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed in an are you actually trying to tell me what to do? stare. Niall let out a laugh when he saw the look on my face and gave Harry a light smack in the gut. “I’m just trying to help!” He defended.

“She doesn’t look like she wants it,” Niall replied swiftly, placing a hand on his hip as he kept his eyes on me.

“Will the peanut gallery please shut the fuck up?” I asked with a sweet smile, my words eliciting another eye roll from Harry.

They were all quiet then, and I could tell that all of their eyes were on me as I shifted my footing, looked from the ball to my hands and back down again. Then, I looked up, and brought my eyes to meet Harry’s.

“What do you mean straighten up?”

He sighed a little and a smirk pulled onto his face. “Your posture,” he said simply. “Like this.”

He walked over to me and placed a hand on the small of my back and my shoulder, forcing me to move my hips forward and my shoulders back. Ryan and Alex seemed to get distracted by something on Ryan’s phone, and luckily, it was only Niall, Kristen, and Ethan Davis watching our awkward encounter.

I hoped--with everything in my being--that Ethan Davis watched the way Harry’s hands touched me, and that maybe, just maybe, he was a little jealous.

“And grip your hands like this,” he reached forward to adjust my hands, our hips bumping as he placed my left thumb against the ball of my right hand.

He took a step back when he was finished, and I looked over to him with wide eyes.

“Jesus, Harry, get a room next time,” Niall called out, causing the entire group (Ryan and Alex included) to erupt in laughter. Kristen laughed too, an apologetic look on her face as if she weren’t really associated with the rest of them.

“Oh please,” I rolled my eyes, keen on downplaying whatever had just happened. I mean, for Ethan’s sake, Niall’s comment was appropriate and funny and on brand. For my own sake, Niall’s comment was groan-worthy.

“You’re all children,” Harry looked around at our friends, an annoyed (yet playful) look on his face as he walked back to take his spot beside them. He crossed his arms and watched hopefully as I let out another sigh.

I looked down at the ball and swung quickly, hoping that the ruckus of the group would be a distraction if my shot was just as bad as it’d been before. The ball travelled down the green, under the small bridge, hit the wall on the other side, and stopped a few feet short of hole 4.

I looked with wide eyes at Harry, a smile creeping on my face as he mirrored my expression. “That’s a start!”

It was Ryan who heard the ice cream truck as we handed our putters through the window to the kid working the rental booth. His eyes lit up when Alex mentioned a choco-taco, and soon we found ourselves on the boardwalk along the river with ice cream in hand.

Harry offered to pay for mine when I didn’t have cash--and, if he were going to be playing the role of my boyfriend, I figured he could afford a three dollar spongebob ice cream with gumball eyes.

So now I was stood beside Kristen, looking over D.C. as the sun began to set behind some of the taller buildings. Harry sat next to Ethan on a bench a few feet down, and the rest of the boys were leaning over the edge, staring down at the water as they ate their ice cream.

“You definitely broke a rule back there,” she said quietly, licking at her red, white, and blue popsicle. I’d warned her as she ordered that it was incredibly phallic, but that didn’t stop her from enjoying the shit out of it as another plane flew overhead to land.

I let out a sigh. “Yeah--rule six. But I mean, we have to touch somewhat, right? We can’t just not ever touch each other. That would make it hard to believe.”

She shrugged her shoulders and took another lick. “Yeah--you’ve gotta find the balance.”

“I think that rule is more meant for when it’s just us, you know? Or at least when Ethan’s not around. We’re trying to convince him more than the rest of you.”

She was quiet for a second, we both turned to see what the rest of them were laughing at. Niall--who had a strawberry shortcake ice cream held in his mouth--seemed to be climbing up on the railing so Alex could be the Jack to his Rose.

“Ethan definitely asked about you earlier. He asked how we met and how you and Harry met.”

“Did you tell him something good?” I asked eagerly, my eyes hopeful as I waited for her response.

She let out a snort and shifted on her feet. “I mean, I told him the truth.”

I shot her an unimpressed look. “You mean to tell me that you told Ryan that you and I are just roommates and that me and Harry just met at the information desk? You couldn’t come up with something better, at least for me and Harry?”

Kristen brushed her hair behind her ears and adjusted her sunglasses on her nose. “What did you want me say? That you and Harry met on top of the Washington Monument and he asked to be your boyfriend under some cherry blossoms?”

“Sounds more romantic than the information desk.”

She laughed me off as Harry approached from my other side.

“Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?”

“What?” I asked, running a hand through my hair as the wind blew another gust. “What are you talking about?”

He held up his ice cream stick in front of my face, but he repeated the same question. “Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?”

“Oh wait, let me think,” Kristen held up a hand, requesting that Harry not give the answer away just yet.

“You can get it,” he encouraged her.

“Something about a bowl? Cheese? Something Italian? I don’t know,” she gave up finally, gaining a laugh from me.

“The meat ball,” Harry read it allowed, a proud look on his face as if he’d written the joke himself.

I stared up at him--eyebrows raised--and he let out another laugh. “You’re a tough critic.”

Kristen left us to throw out her popsicle stick, and for a second, I almost thought Harry was going to drape his arm around me once more. Instead, he leaned on the railing like I was--looking out over D.C.

“I’d say it’s been a successful night,” he said quietly, turning to look at me from behind his sunglasses.

“Yeah--Kristen said Ethan asked about me before,” I said, but Harry scrunched his nose suddenly.

“Oh,” he said, nodding. “Yeah, that’s good.”

I was quiet for a second--unsure of why he seemed awkward and weird--but maybe I was just reading into it.

“Are you seriously eating around the eyes?” He looked down at my ice cream--and the spot that had melted onto the railing next to my hand.

“They’re gumballs,” I told him. “I’m saving them for last.”

He laughed, keeping his eyes on my face for what felt like a second longer than usual. But again, maybe I was reading into it.

Tonight was fun. Thanks for the ice cream.

I’ll pay you back on Sunday.

No need. I can spare three dollars.

But you’re welcome.

Did you guys do anything after we all parted ways?

Nope, just headed back to the apartment and watched TV.

Ethan didn’t come, if that’s what you’re asking.

Good to know haha

AN: thanks for reading, y’all!!! I would love any and all feedback since this story is new!!

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