a tweet ! (2023) - @/bobby on twitter
“’ohhhh boo hoo im unfulfilled in life i dont know what to do’ literally just have a baby. teeth”
submitted by @ladylarco
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what do you say to a trans person who’s sharing after-surgery pics?
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can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis
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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you
edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally
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SAM: Uhhh, Alice? // ALICE: Yeah? // SAM: I think the text to speech AIs are in love with each other. // ALICE: Heh. Chester and Norris started flirting mid-paragraph again? // SAM: A-again? // ALICE: Ya, they do that when they get side-tracked by outside data. It's just a bug, wait it out. // SAM: Wha??
Could you imagine
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
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I will draw a Pokemon of your choosing for proof of e-Sim donation! (any e-Sims bought AFTER Jan 22nd). The higher the donation, the more effort it'll have.
Please refer to the instructions on https://gazaesims.com/ for how to buy and send an e-SIM for Gaza! Take a screenshot confirmation that you've sent the QR code to the correct email (
[email protected]); please include date/time of purchase and amount spent or GB amount!
Then, send that screenshot to
[email protected], along with a Pokemon you want me to draw!
Please do not use my art for hateful agendas, NFTs, AI training, or monetary profit (like selling it). Thanks!
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
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