#or how I feel sick just thinking about the local park bc it’s where I was forced to hang out with a ex friend that wrecked me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shorkbrian · 3 years

Note

This isn’t a request (or maybe it is) but would you ever consider writing a part 2 to that aizawa and shinsou family bonding fic👀 and do you have any plans to write more zuko?? Bc I didn’t really see him like that but after your mechanic fic I couldn’t get him off my mind for weeks.

Anyway I love all your fics!!! Thank you so much for writing them and sharing them with us<3

I have several requests for a continuation of that, so maybe!

As for Zuko, I rlly want to write more of him lol he’s just so inch resting.

Very awkward with interpersonal relationships, but has the ability to be suave if he’s not thinking too hard about it and just acting on impulse. Pre-redemption Zuko is entitled, has anger issues, no grasp on healthy boundaries, sadistic, a brat, etc etc.

Like you lose your dog, worried sick about the poor thing. You decide to put up posters around your dingy neighborhood, a picture and your phone number attached below.

Your mood improves when you get a text that night, as soon as you get home from putting up all the “missing” posters.

Hey.

Your dog is missing? I saw you putting up posters.

Immediately you respond, hope blooming.

Yes! Have you seen him? I’m really worried. Thanks for contacting me btw.

There’s a few moments of waiting until the stranger responds.

I’ve seen him around. You need someone to help you find him?

So the stranger doesn’t have your dog. It’s disappointing, but you probably shouldn’t have expected your puppy to be found within minutes of you putting up the posters.

If you wouldn’t mind keeping an eye out, that’d be wonderful. Thank you so much! I’m (Y/N).

I know.

Confusion furrows your brow before the next message dings through.

You put your name on the poster.

My names Zuko.

-----

A day passes without any news, then two. On the third day, “Zuko” texts you again.

Have you found your dog yet?

You tell him (you’re pretty sure it’s a guy) no, and the stranger gives you his condolences. Feeling a bit awkward, not sure if you should respond or let the conversation drop, you turn the questioning back to the stranger.

Do you live in this area?

Yeah. Down by the supermarket on 4th and Sinclair.

That makes sense - that’s one of the first places you’d put up a poster. No wonder this guy texted you so soon.

That’s a nice area. I’m closer to the park... I think my dog might’ve wandered off into there.

You should take some treats with you and walk through that area. Call his name maybe?

Yeah, maybe.

The more you thought about the suggestion, the more appealing it sounded. perhaps it would work? It was barely 4pm, still plenty of daylight left for you to walk around for a bit.

So that’s what you did, wandering through the park with a bag of treats, lowly calling your dog’s name as you kept a sharp eye out for anything furry.

There weren’t many people out, but the ones you did encounter barely paid you any attention.

Except for a man, seated on a bench, his eyes following your movements. It was creeping you out - no matter where you moved you felt the prickle on the back of your neck that someone was looking at you.

Maybe he was just curious as to why you were walking around with a bag of dog treats, a leash, but no dog.

You were paying more attention to scanning the underbrush than the stranger, so it made you jump when he cleared his throat a few steps behind you, having moved from the bench.

“Oh, Jesus Christ-” You whirled around, a hand on your chest as adrenaline surged through you.

The man frowned. “Sorry, wasn’t trying to scare you. Are you looking for your dog?” He looked... unique, a large, angry scar decorating the right side of his face, eye slitted and milky on that side, almost hidden by his shaggy black hair.

You nodded, and the man spoke again. “By any chance, is your name (Y/N)? I saw your poster.”

Perking up, you took a step forward. “Yes! Yeah, that’s me, have you seen my dog? Do you know where he is?”

The man shook his head, clearing his throat again. “No, uhm... I was the person who texted you - Zuko.”

Oh.

It felt a bit... odd, knowing that this man had texted you, sought you out, met you in the park that he suggested you go looking in. Was he stalking you? Or was he just trying to help you find your dog?

How were you supposed to respond to him?

Zuko beat you to it. “I’ve been looking for him, no luck though. He seems like a good dog.”

“He is.” You agree. Your dog was the best, always made you feel safe whenever you went out for walks, guarded your apartment, stayed alert and ready while you slept. “Thank you for looking for him, you don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind.”

More awkward silence.

Shifting your weight on your feet, you sealed up the bag of treats. “okay, um, well it’s getting dark, I think I’m going to head home now.”

“I can walk with you.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.” You assured the strange man, flashing a smile. He was too... friendly for your taste. You weren’t sure you felt comfortable with him knowing where you lived.

When you got home, your phone dinged as you locked your door. it was Zuko.

Sorry for scaring you tonight. I didn’t think you’d actually go to the park. I like to sit there and feed the ducks, so I’ve seen you and your dog a couple of times. I’m not trying to be weird.

That was honestly almost kind of sweet. You could visualize it, the tall man sitting on the bench and throwing seeds to the ducks that lived in the park, minding his own business as people passed by. Maybe the man was just a bit socially awkward? You could understand that.

No worries. Nice meeting you!

-----

He kept texting you, checking in, asking about your dog, asking about you.

Zuko seemed like a nice guy, if not a little awkward. Maybe a little lonely, but wasn’t everyone?

You learned that he lived by himself, had moved here a couple years ago, and that he liked the town. Friendly people, good weather, nice shops and local stores.

Weeks had passed since your dog had gone missing, and you found yourself getting more and more sad, sinking into the feeling like goop.

And then Zuko texted.

You should come over.

Your mind raced - he wouldn’t be texting you unless it was important, it was nighttime, you had learned the man wasn’t overly fond of visitors.

Zuko? What’s up? Have you found my dog?

A pause, two minutes before his next text came through.

Just come over.

You huffed, frustrated, excited.

Please just tell me, do you have my dog?

Five minutes of silence.

Yes.

-----

The excitement you felt was making you jittery, hands almost shaking as you climbed up the stairs to Zuko’s apartment.

It wasn’t what you were expecting. You thought he lived by the supermarket, and technically he did, but it was a ways away. Zuko lived in a run down, dingy complex a few streets over, and you tried not to judge, but it wasn’t exactly the most savory of neighborhoods.

Really, you weren’t super jazzed to be coming to his place, not so late at night, not alone. But he had found your dog, said he didn’t have a leash nor a way of getting him to you. Said he didn’t mind you coming over so late.

You didn’t feel comfortable, but it’d be okay.

Except your dog was nowhere in sight when Zuko welcomed you inside.

It was dark, only the light of his laptop illuminating the small living space - a studio apartment.

“Zuko? Where’s-”

“Your dog’s probably been dead for weeks.”

You froze.

“You’re focused on a lost cause. I don’t think he’s coming back.”

What’s going on? Why did he have you come-

“Zuko, you’re scaring me.”

The man in question is between you and the door - the door he’s just locked. Your heart starts to beat faster in your chest.

“I’ve watched you walk him every day for the past year, you always take the same route in the park. How have you not noticed me? It’s not like I’m trying to avoid your attention. It’s insulting. Do you not like my scar? Is that why you always, always ignore me?”

His voice is level, but you can feel the irritation seeping from him, feel it infect you with fear.

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking abo-”

“I’ve noticed. You’re very absentminded, aren’t you? Is that why you need a dog with you to protect you? I could’ve snapped you up at anytime since he’s been gone.”

Zuko crossed his arms, leaned back against the door. You didn’t like this, didn’t like how dark it was, what Zuko was saying, how his one good eye was gazing at you with a smug aura.

“I really wasn’t going to even bother you. You’re just some pretty little eye candy I get to see everyday. But then you put up those posters, and your number and name were right there. Couldn’t stop myself.”

The man rolled his eyes. “Plus, you’re real easy.”

He hadn’t moved from the door, but now he straightened, rolling out his neck, taking a step towards you. “This’ll be fun. Hope you don’t scream too loud and get me another noise complaint.”

#zuko #dark zuko #atla #yandere #Yandere zuko #tw.dark content

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octothorpetopus · 4 years

Note

spence and derek are together and the team doesn't know but then one of then gets mad bc they are tired of hiding, so angst w happy/fluffy ending

Give A Little Bit (Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid)

After six months of dating in secret, Spencer is ready to tell their friends. Derek isn’t quite so sure.

A/N: I had a lot of fun with this one, especially Derek’s introspection towards the end. I hope you like this!

Tags: @thebostonreaper @criminalminds-world @agenthotchner @rxseinbloom @cha0ticbisexual @starsandsupernovae

“Coffee. Now.” Derek paused in the doorway to the round table room. “Uh, please.” Emily looked up from where she stood by the coffee machine, arching her eyebrows.

“You look awful.”

“I feel awful.” He slumped into his chair, accepting the styrofoam cup gratefully when she offered it to him. “God, why does no one remind me not to drink too much?”

“You’re a grown-ass adult, Morgan. At this point, if you’re hungover on a work day, that’s on you.”

“Yeah, that’s not helpful. Coffee is helpful.” He chugged the entire cup in one go, wincing at the bitter taste.

“Man, what did you do last night?” He shrugged, and the rest of the team filed in. Spencer sat down next to him, his eyes curious.

“I went out.”

“Hot date?” Derek smirked.

“I guess you could say that. We were clubbing for awhile, then went back to my place for a nightcap, things got out of hand, and now…” As if to prove his point, he knocked his sunglasses over his eyes, blocking out the brilliant overhead fluorescent light.

“Wait, wait, wait. This is the fifth night in like, two weeks you’ve had a date. Derek Morgan, do you have a girlfriend?” He laughed easily, but shifted in his seat.

“Come on, Em, I-“

“Who is she? Come on, tell me.”

“You don’t know her.” Spencer cleared his throat, smiling flatly.

“Hey, guys?” He gestured to the front of the room, where Penelope was waiting patiently.

“If you guys would please stop flirting, I’d like to start the briefing.” Sheepishly, Derek waved a hand.

“My bad. Proceed.”

“Thank you. Now, if you’ll look at your tablets, you’ll see- oh, god, I didn’t mean to look at that…”

It was a local case, and as it turned out not one that they could be helpful in, so Derek went home to his little house in Arlington, flopped down on his sofa with his German shepherd’s head in his lap, and flipped on a cooking show. He was ready to doze off to Rachel Ray’s pickled onion recipe when his doorbell rang.

“I swear to god, if you’re a Jehovah’s Witness or someone trying to sell something, I will throw you into the Potomac!”

“It’s me.” Derek’s mood brightened. He raced to the door, skidding on the hardwood floors. and threw it open.

“Hey there, pretty boy,” he said, leaning against the door frame as nonchalantly as he could.

“Hi.” With the awkward sweetness Derek had grown accustomed to, Spencer leaned in to kiss him quickly, his hands wrapped tightly around the strap of his messenger bag.

“Oh, come on, you can give me more than that.” Derek seized Spencer’s face firmly in his hands and kissed him, really kissed him, long and slow and sweet and warm. The beginnings of rain floated through the air. “Come on in,” he said, holding open the door. Spencer stepped inside, but didn’t go straight to the kitchen like he almost always did (Derek always had a steady supply of baked goods from Penelope, most of which Spencer ate). Instead, he stood in the foyer, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

“What’s up, Spencer?”

“Uh, can we sit down?”

“Yeah, sure.” They sat down in the living room, and that’s when Derek knew something was happening, something big. Spencer always sat on the floor in front of the sofa, for some reason, and despite Derek’s protests that it was bad for his back. This time, however, he sat in one of the soft but rarely used leather armchairs, his fingers tapping out a nervous rhythm on the stiff black leather.

“Spencer, baby, talk to me.” Derek absentmindedly scratched the top of Clooney’s head.

“Do you remember our first date? Like, our first real date?”

“Sure. It was about a month before Emily came back.”

“That was six months ago, Derek.”

“Yeah. Wow. Spence, what’s your point?”

“My point is that it’s been six months, or actually six months, two weeks, and four days, and we haven’t told a single member of our team.”

“...Spencer, we’d lose our jobs. We could face legal repercussions. We’re government agents.” Derek leaned back, smiling, but his stomach turned. This was more serious than he’d thought and he knew it.

“Derek, you know Hotch wouldn’t report us. Penelope and Kevin make it work. Why can’t we? Tell me, why can’t we make it work?”

“Look, I don’t want to argue about this tonight.”

“Derek.” Spencer clutched his hand, pleading. “I need to tell my friends- our friends- our family.”

“Why? Why do they need to know?” Spencer got to his feet, stammering and starting to pace.

“I don’t know, Derek, maybe because I’m sick of hearing you talk about all the girls you go out with when I know damn well that at the end of the day, I’m the one you come home to. I don’t want to have to hear you talk about your ‘girlfriend’ who doesn’t exist just so you don’t have to tell Emily. What is going on with you? I understood not wanting to tell people for the first few months, but we’re six months into this thing. Do you… do you not want to be with me?”

“Spencer, of course that’s not it.” Derek stood up and took Spencer’s hands, but Spencer ripped them away.

“Then what? Are you embarrassed of me? Of how young I am? Or is it just because I’m… odd?”

“No. Never, ever think it’s because I’m ashamed to be with you.”

“Then why?”

“I just want some damn privacy! Don’t you? We let these people into every little nook and cranny of our lives whether we want to or not, and I want- no, I need something that they don’t get a say about!”

“They don’t get a say, but I sure as hell should.”

“I’m doing this for us! I’m doing this for you, Spencer!”

“I- what?” Spencer stepped back, puzzled.

“Look at us, kid. You were a child prodigy and had three PhDs by the time you were twenty-four. And me, well… you know me. What are they going to think?”

“They’re our friends, Derek. They’re our family..

“Friends don’t always have the response you want them to. Come on, you know that.”

“So, what? You don’t want them to know about us because if they know we’re queer-” Derek flinched at the word, but Spencer didn’t seem to notice. “-then they’ll think I’m even weirder than they already think I am? I don’t care about that, and I honestly don’t really think you do either. I think this is about you. You don’t want them to view you as any less of the alpha male hypermasculine son of a bitch that you try to be.”

“Don’t you dare profile me, doctor,” Derek snarled, and even though they were the same height, Spencer seemed tiny by comparison. “You know, I thought you were different than them. I thought you were willing to give me a little privacy. Our fourth date, we made a promise not to profile each other. Ever. You just broke that promise, so I don’t think you get to tell me anything about our relationship right now.” Spencer bit his lip, still obviously angry, but he couldn’t seem to come up with anything else to say. “Why did you have to do this, Spencer? We have a good thing going, don’t we?”

“Sure. But what’s the point of a good thing if it never sees the light of day?” Before Derek could respond, both of their phones buzzed.

“New case.”

“New case.” They stared at each other for a moment.

“We should-”

“I think I’ll take my own car.” Spencer pressed his lips together until they disappeared in a thin white line, and Derek couldn’t tell if he was trying not to scream or cry. “I’ll see you there.” Without waiting for a response, he left, slamming the front door behind him and abandoning Derek, who stood quiet and helpless in the living room, Clooney whimpering at his feet. He was so tired of fighting, but something in him wouldn’t let him tell them. Something in him screamed YOU CAN’T YOU CAN’T YOU CAN’T over and over and over again, bouncing around his head like an echo in an empty cathedral. But if he didn’t, he would lose Spencer. Those two things weighed in the scales of his mind, but he pushed them aside. They had a case, and he didn’t have a choice.oice.

At some point while they were arguing, the light mist had turned into heavy rain, and by the time Derek made it into Quantico he was soaked from head to toe. He dripped water on the round table room floor. Spencer was already there when he arrived, folded into his chair, his expression not angry but sober, introspective. When Garcia started the briefing, his head snapped up, as if waking from a dream.

“Last week in Harlon, Kentucky, three former inmates from a federal penitentiary were found stabbed to death and buried in shallow graves in a park. They were found by a woman walking her dog, who used to be a K-9.”

“They were killed fairly close together, that means this unsub isn’t hesitant,” Rossi mused.

“We should be looking at other released inmates.” Hotch set his tablet down on the table.

“Victims and families of their crimes, too,” Emily added.

“Could be a corrections officer gone rog-“

“We should be looking at everyone working in the criminal justice system when they were put into prison,” Spencer said, interrupting Derek without a second thought or glance.

“Uh, yeah.” Hotch’s eyes flirted back and forth between Spencer and Derek. “We’ll do a preliminary profile on the plane. Wheels up in thirty.” Everyone stood to leave, but Hotch didn’t move. “Morgan, stay behind for a minute.” He paused halfway to the door, briefly considered making a break for it, but stayed. When he turned around to look at Hotch, Hotch was more concerned than anything else. “What’s going on with you and Reid?” Derek shrugged, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

“Nothing.”

“Really? He seems upset. Specifically at you.”

“I don’t know, Hotch.”

“Morgan, if there’s something going on with you two-“

“Hotch, I promise. Everything’s fine.” Hotch didn’t look as if he believed Derek, but he didn’t press the issue further.

“Fine. Grab your go bag, let’s get this show on the road.”

That was how it went. It was another short case, not a hard one either. Spencer ignored Derek, Derek let him, and the rest of the team stood by in awkward silence, unsure what was happening but not willing to say anything about it. That was how it went. At least, until the plane ride back to Washington. They sat at opposite ends, instead of curled up next to each other like they always slept, like they had always done even when they were just friends, or at least before they realized that they were anything more than that. Derek watched Spencer turn the pages of his book absentmindedly. He knew that Spencer couldn’t be reading, because it was taking him far too long. Hesitantly, quietly, he got up and crossed the plane to sit across from Spencer, who pointedly didn’t look at him. Everyone else was dead asleep, but Derek couldn’t and he could tell that Spencer couldn’t either.

“Talk to me,” he whispered, fighting the urge to reach over and squeeze Spencer’s bony knee like he always did when they were making up from a fight.

“About what?” Still, Spencer didn’t look up.

“Spencer, goddamnit, I can’t see why you’re so upset with me.”

“Really? You really can’t see it?”

“If anyone has a right to be upset, it’s me. I told you, I’m not ready.”

“And that’s exactly it. You’re thinking about how this affects you. ‘I’m not ready.’ I am. We have to make these decisions together, and you’re not even considering-“

“I don’t need to consider anything,” Derek hissed, trying to keep his voice low but failing. “I’m not ready, and it’s not fair of you to expect me to-“

“No, you know what’s not fair?” Spencer wasn’t thinking anymore, and his volume was increasing steadily. Out of the corner of his eye, Derek saw JJ start to stir. “What’s not fair is for you to expect me to not tell my friends about our six-month relationship. What’s not fair is that even though neither of us has been out with another person in those six months, you refuse to let me call you my boyfriend.”

“Keep-“ Derek’s head darted around. Everyone else was still asleep. “Keep your voice down.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep my voice down,” Spencer said, very much not keeping his voice down. “Fine. But I’m sick of you telling me that I have to pretend like everything’s normal when it’s not.” JJ was fully awake now, and Derek could see her gently shake Emily.

“Spencer, I have my reasons. But I also need a certain amount of privacy, even from you. I have things I need to work through and frankly, I need more time!”

“You’ve had six months! Six months to work through these things! What am I supposed to think, Derek?”

“Guys, I-“ Spencer waved a hand to silence Hotch, who stepped back, stunned.

“You act like I don’t get a say in this. Like your feelings and whatever the hell you’re going through only affects you. I’m tired.” Spencer bit his lip. “I’m so tired.”

“I’m tired too, kid.” They stood, just staring at each other. Derek felt the weight of everyone else’s eyes on them.

“So that’s it, huh?” Spencer asked, and in the crack in his voice was everything that wasn’t said. As angry as he was, he would not do to Derek what Derek would not do to himself.

“Yeah, kid. I think that’s it.” Derek had to lean against a seat in order to keep from falling to his knees.

“Morgan, go sit down,” Hotch said firmly.

“I’m gonna go- I-“ Derek gestured vaguely towards the bathroom and stumbled away, his breathing choked and heavy. He hardly closed the door behind him before the first sob racked his body, and he clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. His shoulders heaved and tears began to surge down his cheeks, but he endured it all in as much silence as he could, curled on the floor of the BAU jet bathroom. Outside, he could hear soft, unintelligible whispering, but no one came after him. They all knew better than that, and anyway, the one person he actually wanted to see right now was the last person who would want to talk to him. He briefly considered calling his mom, or even one of his sisters, but he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t be pushed away from the few people on this earth who knew everything about him- well, almost everything. Slowly but steadily, Derek got to his feet. His entire body felt heavy, like he was trying to walk through water. When he opened the door, everyone tried very pointedly not to look at him. He sat down across from Rossi, who flinched but didn’t look up from his magazine.

“You okay, kid?” He asked, so quietly Derek almost thought he imagined it.

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Still not looking up, Rossi pulled a magazine off the seat next to him and tossed it to Derek. It was a Newsweek from two weeks ago, but Derek still felt a surge of gratitude. Not enough to dull the sensation that his heart was quite literally breaking in two, but it was something. No one else spoke, not to Spencer, not to each other, and certainly not to him. They might not have had any idea about what was going on (if they did, they didn’t show it), but they got the idea that it didn’t involve them. Maybe it should, Derek thought to himself. But if he told them now, any of them, what was any of it for?

The little house in Arlington was the same as he’d left it, except that Clooney’s water dish had been refilled by his friend who dogsat for him whenever he was out of town. Stopping only to scratch the elderly German Shepherd behind the ears, Derek headed straight for the living room, collapsing in a heap of limbs on the sofa. He couldn’t deny that it was his fault anymore, could he? Spencer really hadn’t been asking that much, when it came down to it. Just that they could be together in public, in the eyes of their friends. Because that was what you did when you were with someone. Only they had never really been together, because Derek had always laughed it off when Spencer had asked if they were boyfriends. Why was that? Why couldn’t he get up the courage to be something with someone? Not even just someone, but someone he thought he maybe loved.

So, it was love. Then why couldn’t he ever bring himself to say those words, or any like them, out loud? It wasn’t like he had never been in a long-term relationship before. It wasn’t like he had never been someone’s boyfriend, or like he’d never said “I love you”. All the dates he’d been on, the late nights shared on this same sofa, dinners with his family, introductions to his friends passed through his head like the old-school viewmaster he had loved to play with as a kid. It took him a moment to realize why this was so different than all of those other times, and when he did, he fell off the sofa onto the floor, knocking his head against the coffee table as he tumbled down. He had been a boyfriend, he had said “I love you”, he had been out in public and met the parents and the friends before.

But he had never done it with a man.

Why it had taken him this long to figure that out, he didn’t actually know, and kind of wanted to smack himself for, but then he noticed the blood dripping from his head where he had hit the coffee table, and decided he’d probably injured himself enough for one night. While he was getting up to find the first-aid kit he kept in the hall closet, he looked back, incredulous. Sure, figuring out he liked men had been a fairly recent development, but he honestly didn’t see it as life-changing at the time. No, he hadn’t told anyone, but that was because it wasn’t anyone else’s business… right?

No. That wasn’t right.

In the dim light of the bathroom, Derek inspected his injury. It wasn’t a super deep cut, but it would take a while to heal, and he’d probably have a scar for a while. Watching his blood dilute and swirl down the drain, he remembered a specific day from his childhood he hadn’t thought about in years. He had only been twelve, maybe thirteen, and playing basketball with a few friends after school when they heard yelling from around one side of the community center. That had been the first hate crime he had ever seen- a gay kid got beat up simply for being gay. And as a Chicago cop, and an FBI agent, it was not the last. It wasn’t the last time he heard slurs tossed around like they bore no weight, casual ignorance from the coworkers in the locker room or friends on the street. If they’d known about him, would they have stayed quiet? Would they have kept their vitriol to themselves until he was gone and then let it spew, melting the world around them like acid? Or would they have done to him what they did to that kid that day at the community center? No, he was too big and too strong for that. Being big and strong was what protected him, from fists and rage, but also from prying eyes. No one ever expected that the 200 lb former linebacker and Judo black would be the one with the dirty little secret. Maybe if they did, it would be easier. Maybe if he thought it would surprise everyone less, it wouldn’t be quite so hard. When Spencer had come out to the team a few years ago, no one had seemed surprised. It wasn’t hard to see how the skinny kid with the messy hair, who’d never really had a girlfriend, who wore sweater vests and sneakers everywhere, who could carry a conversation with only his endless fount of knowledge, could be different from the rest of them. Only he wasn’t that different, was he? No, his coming out had been what sparked Derek’s journey of self-discovery, so they weren’t as different as they seemed. What he truly couldn’t endure was the surprise. He didn’t want to be seen in a different light- he was just Derek Morgan, same as always. But that was never really the case with a bomb like this. No one ever just took it without flinching, without questions that demanded answers he couldn’t give.

The scales in his mind, which up until this point had been weighted so heavily towards that one side, that side that said everything would go wrong and his life would change forever, began to tip now. Because now he was in his home office, staring at the bulletin board over his desk. His office was the one place no one else ever went in his house (his bedroom was almost his own, except the time he’d let Emily sleep in his bed after getting a little too wasted at the FBI Christmas party). But no, his office was his and his only, so that was where he kept all the reminders he needed for himself, without anyone else’s input. A signed puck from a Chicago Blackhawks game he’d gone to with his father before he died. A dried flower from the bouquet his mom had sent him when he was accepted into the FBI academy. But he wasn’t looking at those things right now, right now his eyes were fixed on the photo that had taken a prominent position front and center. If he’d been profiling himself, he would have said that the reason was that that photo had some kind of importance. It was him and Spencer, about three months earlier, at a Washington Wizards game, basketball being the only sport he could convince Spencer to go to. The picture was a close-up of the jumbotron, during the third-quarter Kiss Cam (he had paid the guy working the Kiss Cam twenty bucks for the footage). In it, Spencer was wearing one of Derek’s old Wizards jerseys, and he was still in the middle of saying something when Derek had kissed him. His wide eyes made it obvious it had been a surprise, but his smile and the hand resting on Derek’s backwards baseball cap gave him away. Derek loved that picture, that’s why he had put it on the board right where he could see it as he worked. He wanted to go back to that, to the quiet ease and the loud feelings, to blending into a world that told them they had to stand out.

The scales were tipping. On one side, there was the world. On the other, there was Spencer. Spencer, who loved brownies and foreign films. Spencer, who wore his sneakers to The Capital Grille. Spencer, who should have been jaded and cynical but still had an optimism about the world Derek couldn’t quite refute. The scales were tipping, and Derek made no effort to stop them. With every minute he stared at that picture, every minute he thought about the last six months, they tipped further and further until there was no denying that one outweighed the other. With a little resignation, a little relief, and a lot of apprehension, Derek got up, turned off the office light, and went to bed.

The round table room was dead silent when he walked in, not that anyone had been talking before he’d arrived. Rossi and JJ were watching everyone with wide, wary eyes. Emily was staring into her coffee. Garcia bit her lip, her nerves obviously getting to her. Hotch was scrolling through his tablet. Spencer sat in his chair, staring off into the near distance. His hair was more of a mess than normal, his tie was crooked, and his eyes were heavy-lidded and red, like he’d stayed up all night.

“Garcia.” Hotch nodded. “Let’s get started.”

“Okay, well-” Penelope’s voice wobbled, and she started suddenly as Derek raised his hand. “I- what?”

“Can I say something before we start?” Confused, a little freaked, she looked to Hotch for confirmation. Hotch looked equally as confused, but nodded.

“Go ahead, but try to make it quick.”

“I will.” On shaky legs, Derek stood. Everyone looked at him, their interests piqued, except Spencer, who continued staring off at some point Derek couldn’t see. “Six months ago, I met someone. Well, no. I already knew them. Six months ago, I saw someone I knew in a different light. And for the last six months, I’ve been falling head-over heels in love.”

“Derek, how come you never told me?” Penelope gently squeezed his hand. “Whoever she is, I’m sure we’d love her.” He smiled, shaking his head.

“That’s just it. You’re not going to love her, because there is no her.” Confused, the team glanced at each other, but remained silent. “He is so incredibly special to me, and I’ve wanted to scream it from the rooftops for six months, but I just… I couldn’t.” Now, for the first time, he turned to Spencer. “Spencer Reid, I love you.” Spencer’s head snapped up, his eyes wide like he’d just woken up. His mouth opened and closed a few times but he didn’t say anything. Derek wasn’t watching anyone else, but he was sure they were wearing identical looks of shock. “I’ll never be as sorry for anything else in my life as I am that I never told you that, and that I made you keep this secret for so long.” He crouched in front of Spencer, taking his hands. “I had to think. I shouldn’t have had to, I should have just let myself be with you, but I did. I’ve seen a lot, Spencer, a lot of myself and a lot of the world. And I hate to say it, but I’ve got way too much fear for my own good. But I realized that if I weigh whatever fear I have against you, it’s no contest.” He cleared his throat and straightened, facing his startled friends. “I’m bisexual. It took me a while to figure it out, and even longer to come to terms with it, but it’s who I am. Six months ago, about a month before you came back, Em, I asked Spencer to go to the movies with me. We’ve been together ever since. Last week, he asked me if we could tell you. I let my demons get the better of me. I’m not gonna do that anymore. Spencer.” He held out a big, weathered hand, pleading silently for Spencer to take it. Spencer stares up at him, clearly hesitating. But then he blinks, and whatever reservations he had disappeared. He took Derek’s hand and let himself be pulled into a hug. Derek felt his narrow, bony arms wrap around his shoulders and his head bury into the crook of his neck. “I’m so sorry,” Derek whispered, knowing the rest of the team was still watching, not really caring.

“I forgive you,” Spencer murmured.

“I love you.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Derek frowned. “Sorry. Love you too.”

“Ahem.” Hotch cleared his throat. “Sorry to interrupt, I’m very happy for you guys, but can we finish the briefing first?” Derek and Spencer untangled their limbs, both grinning sheepishly. They sat back down, an awkward but cheery silence sweeping the room.

“Wow. Uh, okay.” Penelope wiped her eyes and Derek realized she was crying a little. So was he, just a few little happy tears in the corner of his eyes. In fact, it looked like there wasn’t a dry eye at the round table. “So, yesterday in Sacramento, one Mr. Paul Young was found in a dumpster with his hands cut off- ew.”

“Morgan. Reid. Hang on a minute.” Hotch beckoned for them to stay as the rest of the team headed to the jet. Derek winced. He’d known there would be something, but he’d hoped rather foolishly that Hotch would give them a few days. Nope.

“Hotch, listen-“

“Guys, just… hold on.” Hotch scanned them both with those dark, analytical eyes. “I won’t tell Strauss if you don’t want me to, which I’m assuming you don’t. I’m guessing you two know that this isn’t going to be easy.”

“Hotch-“

“I’m not done. You cannot have anything happen like what happened on the plane yesterday. If you do, I will tell Strauss. I’m not threatening your jobs, and even if I do tell Strauss, I will fight for you to keep your jobs. But that can never, ever happen again. Am I clear?” Derek nodded vigorously, and out of the corner of his eye saw Spencer doing the same. “Good.” Hotch remained serious for a moment, then broke out smiling. Derek couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Hotch smile so brightly. “I’m happy for you guys. Really.”

“Thanks, Hotch.” When Derek glanced over at Spencer, he was flushed bright red.

“Alright. Get your stuff, get on the jet. I’ll see you there.” He pushed between them, leaving them alone by the round table.

“I’m sorry too, you know,” Spencer said, turning to face Derek.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Neither do you, really. You needed to process things I didn’t even know you were thinking about. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like those feelings weren’t valid, or if your feelings weren’t as important as mine.”

“No. Never.” Derek took Spencer’s face in his hands and smiled, feeling the happy tears resurface. “It all worked out in the end.”

“No. Not the end. The beginning.” Slowly; hesitantly at first, Spencer leaned in and kissed him, and Derek let him, pushing back with more fervor.

“We should go,” he said quietly, breaking the kiss and leaning his forehead against Spencer’s. “Hotch’ll be pissed if we’re late.”

“Let him.” Spencer grabbed the collar of Derek’s t-shirt with one hand, the back of his head with the other, and pulled him in for another kiss. When he broke the second kiss, he held out his hand, which was soft and bony in comparison to Derek’s. Derek took his hand and let Spencer lead him out of the room. He was right, really. This wasn’t the end of a secret not worth keeping. It was the beginning of a real love story.

#criminal minds #moreid #cm fic #criminal minds fic #moreid fic #derek morgan #spencer reid #angst #criminal minds angst #cm angst #cm fan fiction #cm fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.

#survey #surveys #questions

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bluejaybabbles-archive · 4 years

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please. please may i hear more about throcky and/or midwest monsters wip 🥺🥺🥺🥺

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE (sometimes. My ADHD is wild and rules over what I remember to address ajfnznfjk)

So let's start with Throcky of When the Waves Kiss the Trees!

- Kalem "Throcky" Throckmorton started as a joke based on those posts that went around a while ago about the math problems that included "my cousin Throckmorton." My friend asked me to have a side character named Throckmorton in exchange for...something. I honestly can't remember it's been a couple years I think ajfnnzfn BUT!! I agreed, and thus Throcky was born.

- At the beginning of WTWKTT, Rute doesn't know he's a changeling. He's still stuck in the human form his fae mother put him in. However! The city he's currently living in has started to industrialize, and as factories pop up, he begins to get sick. A sudden rise in the iron around you will do that, I suppose!

- The doctors are like "get some fresh air!" and his mom, instead of taking him to the park or smth idk, is like "you're gonna go live with your reclusive cousin and his goats for a while" and Rute, deliriously ill, is just like "yeah ok makes sense"

- Everyone give a round of applause to Throcky for nursing Rute back to health!

- More info about Throcky! He basically has a backyard farm where he keeps mostly chickens and goats. Sometimes something else wanders into the yard and he's like "well I guess you live here now"

- He has a fat grey tabby named Celery! She's a menace and we love her.

- Along with his animals, he's got a baller garden. It extends to inside his house bc holy shit, that's a lot of plants, sir--

- He makes a KILLER rosemary bread (among other things. Honestly Throcky is husband material the more I think about it.)

- He has a milk delivery service! Once a week he'll deliver goat milk to folks in town and also! To the castle! He'd do it more often but he's just one guy. (Rute eventually helps out with deliveries and that's how he meets Oliver 👀 Goat Milk Said Gay Rights!)

- Throcky got this little house away from everyone to be ALONE okay people are TOO MUCH all he needs are his GOATS and his CHICKENS and CELERY

- Honestly tho he cares way too much. He loves his family and he loves the people he delivers to, he just also loves having a place alone to retreat to at the end of the day. Classic introvert. Anyway stan Throcky

Okay! Now on to Midwest Monster Hunting WIP!

- So first of all I'm currently hyperfixating on The Witcher so jot that down

- Second of all, this takes place in Ohio, and Ohio (as described by my partner) is a strange lovechild of the Midwest and the South so. Jot that down as well

- It's still in the planning stages, but! What I'm thinking is, at some point humans kinda decided "so we don't feel like giving our children to the fae anymore, this seems Fucked Up. We're hardy folk we can totally take whatever punishment you decide to dole out" (now that I'm thinking about it like. How very American of y'all)

- The fae, of course, Don't Like Not Getting What They Want, and so oops! They "accidentally" unleashed otherworldly monsters into our world! HOWEVER if u give us ur babies we'll train them to fight and kill these monsters to protect you 👀

- Humans are like. Shit. I guess you got us. Have our babies. Never mind that you're gonna keep releasing more monsters so that we keep giving you our children. This is Fine.

- The monster hunters will eventually get a Cool Title but I'm not that far yet

- There are a few main faerie courts in this story! We've got the seasonal courts (spring, summer, autumn, winter) and the celestial courts (sun, moon, stars). If you give your kid to one of the seasonal courts, you'll probably definitely see them again once they've been trained up! If your kid ends up in a celestial court.....well, they'll be damn good monster hunters and the pride of your town if they survive!

- OH ALSO your kid isn't gonna come back looking the same. In general, their hair is gonna look more like....like if they were fae that grew up in that court. They're gonna have cat eyes to better see in the dark. There's gonna be an otherworldliness to them. Also they'll probably be sporting a new name. Apologies.

- The story follows Avery (name pending, I'm not entirely attached to it), a monster hunter from the Court of the Moon; Antonia Figueroa, one of the more prominent local witches; and Javi Justiniano, this weird person who just has weird magical things happen around them more often for some fuckin reason idk I totally dk but that's Spoilers

- They will all kiss. Eventually. Listen I like slow burn in theory but it's so hard to write I'm so impatient I just want them to KISS--

- Avery doesn't exactly....kill the monsters. Unless he HAS to (ie it's fatally wounded when he gets there). What he does in most cases is sedate them, and then put them in a pocket dimension he creates for that kind of monster to thrive in. Is this a power he learned in the Court of the Moon? Possibly. That's a cool idea

- If someone wants like, Proof that he killed it, he'll just glamour a rock or smth to look like a tooth or an eye or w/e

- Of course, once you've created like. A TON of pocket dimensions. Something's gonna notice, and that Something probably won't be too keen on you playing with the fabric of reality so much. Also you're gonna get tired I feel like

- Antonia (aka Toni) is the local witch, and thus helps monster hunters by creating sedatives for the monsters, or making antidotes for various monster venoms, or breaking curses. Among other things!

- She knows how Avery works and like, she's worried about him, but she helps him anyway. She doesn't stop telling him that he's gonna get himself killed this way, tho!

- Javi seems to attract magical phenomena, but also, monsters seem to be drawn to them and become calmer around them. They don't know why, but like, if a monster flies in through their bedroom window and curls up to go to sleep in their bed, they're just gonna let it, y'know? Maybe give it a pat. Feed it some Oreos or smth. Can weird flying monsters safely eat Oreos?

- There will be adventures! There will be demons in the corn! There will be cool monsters! There will be Gay! There will be polyamory! What's not to love?

This ended up being wAY LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED but it was a lot of fun so!! THANK YOU MAX FOR THE ASK AND FOR MY LIFE ILYSM!!!

#from the jay themself #wtwktt #midwest monster hunting wip #long post #i love throcky and i love my new kids y'all....#thank u max for the ask #like thunder below

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cetaceans-pls · 4 years

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What Comes After

DGM post-canon LaviYuu, for @this-is-i-am-zan bc she left a nice comment when I was having a crap week. Thank you Zan!

The End of the World has come and gone, the Noah destroyed along with two-thirds of the human population. Innocence have crumbled into dust, which is deeply unpleasant for the Parasitic types, but things have sucked for the Parasitic types for years, so at least they're well-adjusted.

The same cannot be said for Lavi the now part-time Bookman, because there's not a heck of a lot to record when most of the world's gone, and Kanda 'I can die when I'm dead' Yuu, who is not handling a fully-mortal body very well.

This is their story.

The final battle had been a hell of a showdown, probably. Lavi wouldn't know; the Bookman had decided that they needed to cover as much ground as possible, so while he kept an eye on Allen and Lenalee trying to all-out murder the Earl in Britannia somewhere, Lavi had been somewhere in North Africa trying to stop Tyki Mikk from coming in as reinforcement with a literal horde of Akuma. It's a lot of sand in a lot of places, and it's a lot of trying to stop being bit because collectively Tyki and the gang had decided that Lavi had been so annoying he deserved to die by the Akuma virus, even if a couple of Level 4s could have blasted him to Macedonia without much effort.

That's the good (?) and reliable thing about the Noahs, that whole-hearted determination to be as deeply unpleasant as they can be. Lavi hadn't slept for 3 days by that point, in constant flux as he tried to avoid dying while being aggressive enough that Tyki couldn't in good faith just leave him. His record for sleeplessness is 9 days, at which point his organs would start shutting down at a hell of a rapid rate, and Lavi had been ready to go the whole hog.

Luckily for him, 3 days was about all Allen and Lenalee needed to..... address the Earl, somehow, because at around noontime one day in February, while Mikk was floating around on a Level 5 (god) to enjoy the sea view, there had been an awful pulse of some terrible power, like being hit in the head by an invisible, immaterial hammer, and Lavi had fallen to his knees to throw up.

The Akuma had fallen to the ground and turned to dust, and Mikk had fallen to the ground and gotten up fully human.

(It's not difficult for Lavi to permanently deal with another human being, even if his Innocence had shattered in his hands and he's covered in sick and blood. It's a good thing that the Bookman code doesn't teach much about compassion for your fellow man, better still that Lavi is, by this point, extremely used to death on his hands.)

The Battle to end all battles came and went in an alarmingly short amount of time, and in those few days most of the world was wiped out; there were only so many active Exorcists, and there were so, so many Akuma.

Lavi had passed out as soon as he had staggered far enough from the devastation that he stopped smelling the dust and death of it all, and he had remained passed out for what felt like weeks. When he finally woke up in this arid wasteland stinking of destruction and despair, feeling a little out of his head, Lavi had decided to just.... settle down here, and fish for food and dig a well for irrigation and he'll rebuild humanity all by himself right where he is, yes. Sanity eventually returned with the advent of the wet season a few weeks later, rain leaden and heavy with Akuma remains, acidic on the skin.

Heralding the arrival of the stormclouds had been Yuu, resplendent somehow on a shaggy Bactrian camel, more resplendent still when he had slapped Lavi awake and bundled him up and away, on a long, slow trek to England.

(Later, Lavi discovers that several kingdoms in Asia are fighting over the right to rename themselves Kanda, after the man single-handedly protected the largest swathe of human civilization from a literal plague of Akuma. He also finds out that when Mugen had dissolved back to blood in his hands, Yuu had nearly died from bleeding out because he thought with enough blood he could make another sword. Both things are so exclusively, exhaustingly Yuu it had made his head spin.)

There is no Black Order, because there aren't any Exorcists, because there isn't any Innocence. The Ark is down and out, so there's no quick travel, and there are not a lot of people of any sort left, so they couldn't just get on a rickety plane or questionable ship heading up-and-to-the-left. It's just them and this singular camel who seems extremely fine traveling from the blazing heat of Northern Africa into a Europe still struggling to come out of winter. The camel walks, and Lavi tries to understand both their circuitous, meandering route, and how Yuu had appeared unto him like a dream of rescue. Yuu is taciturn at the best of times and downright churlish for the rest of it, but two men and a camel do not good speed make, and over the months of travel, he pries little bits of truth out.

Yuu was at the Asia branch, and took it into his head to protect as much of Asia as he could. He was as successful as he was because he had taken to it like a suicide mission, and hadn't been planning to keep his regeneration abilities for an 'after' that might not come.

The tattoo on his chest is a complete circle, and the halo around the Om stretches across most of his chest; Lavi gets to see it when they're crawling up the Balkans and he had ground Yuu down enough to give him a show. It's.... a sight. "This mean you're just as prone t'breakin' down as the rest of us now, Yuu?"

The pebbles crunch softly under Takla's padded feet; it's frigid here by the waterside, but Yuu navigates more by mood than geography, and shows a dramatic preference for traveling close to rivers and oceans. It probably means something, but Lavi broke both ankles during the last battle and neither of them are healing quite right, so he's grown to give less of a damn about metaphors in his miserable older age.

It's fine.

"Probably," Yuu had answered. "Idiot," he had tacked on, because just because he was going soft, didn't mean he had to admit to going soft.

(Being close to the water did have the advantage of a healthy supply of food and drink, though it came with the disadvantage of Yuu refusing to accept his bodily limitations and going for a swim in the death of winter like he's waiting for the water to take over his lungs and drag him down.)

(Lavi's ankles aren't the only things that Are Not Okay.)

It's Spring in maximum swing, pollen heavy in the air and birds and insects delighting in the absence of Man, when they reach Bucharest. There are very few people about, because there are very few people at all, but everyone seems to have been struck with a bout of nihilism today; rebuilding works are set aside for this one warm, sunny day, and they spot at least 3 children splashing in a river while adults lay on whatever grass they can find, face upturned to the sun.

Takla garners a lot of attention, because she is a massive camel with two strange-looking men on her back, but Yuu rides imperviously one, a professional jockey stopping his camel from stampeding over thin crowds. Lavi has an idea of why they're in Romania, and has less of one on how in a post-apocalyptic world Yuu somehow ran into the perfect all-terrain vehicle (who loves him).

Black leather and beaten-up faces are enough to have the locals to ping them as Exorcists, which bodes well for Crowley being here, or having been here, and leaving a good taste in people's mouths. The proprietor of one of the only restaurants running in the entire city harkens them over, and they have beef tripe while Takla carouses with the youths in the park, cheered on as she placidly munches on shrubs and bushes.

It's nice to taste iron in his mouth after all that fish, Lavi thinks, and it's somehow also nice to see that people survived, and continue.... surviving. The restaurant doesn't charge money for its wares, because what's the point of money in the collapse of civilization, and instead an elderly lady gets a meal of meatloaf when she drops by with one (1) loaf of bread she made using ground-up seeds of varying origins. Lavi insists on paying for their meal, and worn down by a steady one-eyed stare, the restaurant man agrees to the price of one silver button from Lavi's uniform.

In turn, they are loaded up with cured meats and bricks of polenta, and a vague direction to head towards the last known location of Crowley, the protector of the entirety of Eastern Europe. Lavi asks if Yuu's pick-up service had extended to different regions before he'd come upon Lavi; did he swim across oceans to hunt down General Tiedoll in New Zealand, somewhere? Did he try to meet up with Marie in India? Any word from anybody else in Asia or Africa?

They are few and they are spread so thin, and Takla is just the one camel that Yuu tamed while crossing the desert in a bloody haze. Yuu admits to meeting General Klaud somewhere between where Yuu had murdered Sheril and where he'd found Lavi, and with the loss of her Innocence, Klaud had seemed coldly sane up until the point she began talking to her companion (a non-Innocence goat).

Tiedoll is probably alive but he is out of reach; Marie's fight had moved from the Indian subcontinent to somewhere in the Andaman sea. Yuu had seen the remains of the twins but not of his brother, so hope.... remains. Anyone in the Americas is beyond his purview, and Miranda was at the site of the final battle because there's no pinch hitter more reliable than one that could turn time back pre-pinch.

Yuu tells Lavi, in fits and bursts, of what he'd seen as he'd travelled 'round and 'round while Lavi had tried to set up his own homestead and farm somewhere in Maghreb. It's an odd reversal of fates, Lavi stagnant while Yuu gathered as much as he could with his two bare hands.

He'd gathered Lavi up, and now he's trying to find Crowley. It's bizarre to imagine that Yuu's the one picking up the pieces, that he's the one of all of them with the strength but also the will to collect them one by one.

(It's dumb to think that Yuu lets things go easily, when the whole thing with Alma is taken into consideration, but Bookman training did not completely preserve one from complete idiocy sometimes, so.

Oh, god, he wonders how his crops are doing in Algeria.)

They come upon a crumbling castle pockmarked with gouges from Akuma bombs. Takla draws to a halt at the entrance, and Yuu dismounts and swiftly, scarily scales up the walls until he can gain entry through a blown-up wall on the third floor.

Lavi was not invited on this adventure, so he pokes around the front, looking for clues. By the time Yuu's prowled through enough of the castle to tell that nobody is living here, Lavi is back on Takla with an envelope he'd found nailed into the arm of a stone cherub with a missing head, tucked under some bushes.

It's a grim messenger for someone so fundamentally wholesome as Crowley, but then again it's plenty sweet of him to have left a message via a messenger of love, and maybe the head had been on when they'd started.

It's a short note, written neatly on heavy paper.

Headed to England; A. should be in Liverpool.

Looking forward to meeting you soon.

Best regards,

A. Crowley

He had even oh-so-politely dated the letter, and they just need to play catch up.

(Crowley's alive!)

They're somewhere in France, and it's warm warm now. In a meadow somewhere to the south, Yuu contemplates one of his many swords as he looks at Takla and her heavy coat. She's in moult, it's clear, but it's gotten hotter faster than they had anticipated, and Yuu doesn't have a brush to comb her down with.

He could give her a trim. He's the reason Lavi and he are still neat and clean-shaven, and how different is a human haircut to a camel's?

Lavi, meanwhile, is foraging for food, hoping for some rabbit but happy to make do with whatever he can rummage. They are so close to where they want to be, and there hasn't been a secret resurgence in monsters, and the biggest problem they've had to deal with has been marauding gangs of bandits and looters. It had been such a pleasant experience, the first time they were held at gunpoint by six men with handkerchiefs covering their faces. What an honour and a privilege to face a fight where death is actually less likely than survival!

They might not have their weapons, but years and years as active Exorcists means that they functionally are weapons themselves. The only thing either of them had been worried about was Takla, who got skittish when surrounded by people she didn’t know, but the gang leader with the communal gun had stepped just a hair to close to Yuu, and that was all it took.

Yuu had disarmed and knocked three men unconscious before the gun hit the ground, and Lavi blew through the remaining men in just slightly more time. The biggest hassle with looters is how they tend to startle Takla into running, which means Lavi and Yuu then have to run after her after the threats have been dispatched.

The main positive is that they are never short of food and drink thieved from thieves, and the world's made a little safer a bit at a time as they use their judgment to dole out some form of justice.

(It extremely does not pay to be trigger-happy or fond of violence in front of them, and word spreads about the dangers of accosting two men and their lumpy not-horse as they journey to the west.)

Lavi spots a pheasant and downs it with a home-made bow and arrow, which means a good meal will be had all around, and comes back to camp to find Takla neatly trimmed.

Yuu is laid out by her side, scowling at the sky.

The scowling's pretty common, but the inactivity is not. Putting his prize away, Lavi leans over to block the sun, and looks down into the face of a usually indomitable man. "Everythin' all right, Yuu-chan?"

Yuu just blinks at him angrily, before sitting up. "There's a rabbit burrow next to the rocks," he growls out.

O.....kay. "D'you want me to catch some rabbits?"

Despite all the violence that comes part and parcel with being reborn to fight things that killed you before, Lavi's discovered that Yuu is strangely, sweetly averse to taking lives, and is happier with a vegetarian diet with just the slightest hint of fish at the side. He doesn't turn down food, because he isn't an idiot, but Lavi's happy to take over butchery from the man with half a dozen swords.

If it were possible, Yuu's sour look turns even sourer. "I didn't see it," he's snarling now, like that's all that needs to be said.

Oh, dear, Lavi's supposed to be good at observation. Yuu has one of his boots off, trouser leg tugged up to almost his knee, and where Lavi’s first thought had been Yuu was just enjoying some sun, the swollen ankle and the hideous blue-black bruising coming in paint a markedly different picture.

It looks like a terrible sprain, Lavi thinks to himself as he searches around him for some sturdy branches. The tattered remains of his scarf will make for decent bandages, and they need to immobilise the joint. "Gotcha, lover. You feelin' all right?"

All he gets is stony silence, and Lavi just laughs it off as he carries out triage. It doesn't seem broken, though the pain can't be pleasant. Lavi grabs his pack of assorted acquired bits and bobs and props Yuu's foot atop it for some elevation, and feels a little manically amused that now they've only got 1 good ankle between them, gosh.

Yuu doesn't get chattier after his foot's been attended to, so Lavi busies himself cleaning the pheasant and setting up a fire. Riding Takla is a pretty comfortable feat, but they should probably still take a couple of days to let Yuu rest before they get moving again. So close to where they want to be, a couple of days won't make much of a difference.

It's long after dinner, long after the sun's set and they're trying to sleep in prickly grass and the glow of embers, that Yuu finally speaks again. "How long.... How long does it take people to heal from this shit?"

And it comes with a bang!, the realisation that in the entire time he's been alive, this is quite possibly the longest that Yuu's ever had a minor injury for.

A minute for a busted ankle to fully recover in return for 3 months off the end of your life doesn't seem like the worst deal, now that Lavi thinks about it, but that's not an option anymore.

They really are only men now, which Lavi finds hysterical.

"Depends, Yuu," he says into the night sky. "Could be days, could be never. Welcome, yeah, to the human condition."

Yuu's groan of abject disgust is quickly drowned out by Takla's worried honking, and Lavi lies there and laughs with a belly full of bird.

By the time they cross the wasteland of what used to be the industrial centre of Northwestern England, Takla's heavier coat is starting to grow in again. She's plusher and rougher to the touch, and Lavi doesn't think he'll ever love anything as much as he loves her hypnotic stride carrying them on and on and on. England's decimated, having been the epicentre of the fight, and the pads of her feet leave an indent in the ash like it's a beach of the finest black sand. Her charms and months and months on her back have given Lavi a strange, new perspective on Yuu and life, in a way that a fight to the death and a functional apocalypse had failed to bring to bear.

In the hazy distance, probably still a day's long trot away, is a tall structure that looks like black glass, like the ground had been struck by lightning and rose up petrified. They can't be sure that they'll find anyone there, but before they'd left to defend their assigned regions Lenalee had made them promise to try and meet up where the Earl was defeated. Without golems and without radios, a tall tower of burnt glass seems like the most obvious place to make a meeting place.

Lavi wonders where they'll go from here. He's kept tally of the number of people they've run into, counting out proportions in his head to estimate what the living population is, and if there are enough people to make some more, and the answer does feel like there just won't be enough people to warrant the continued employment of a junior Bookman. And what about Yuu? New to long-term physical suffering, incapable of meeting a sword that'll last longer than a week in his hands. Not a people person, not trained in anything but killing but curiously far too reticent to go into trade at an abattoir. Will he help rebuild this turned-over world?

Would he want to?

Takla continues plodding on, taking them closer and closer to What Happens Next.

It doesn't feel as appealing as it had in the months leading up to it. He wants to meet up with everyone, of course. Hell, Lavi suspects he might even have tears to shed once they hear their losses (because there must be, there will be, heavy losses), but after? Does he want to settle back into a new organisation that decides what gets his time and what doesn't? Does he want to put the most dishonest mask of all and try and pretend that he is in any way invested in humanity's continued survival?

Trying to imagine what his ideal would be in this new world, all Lavi can think of are meadows with burrows lying in wait, and restaurants that take in acorn-bread and convert them into sausages through communal alchemy. He thinks of Yuu, and Takla, and the way high ground drops off into the sea in the lands of blood and honey.

It's a radical departure from his original intentions, but maybe his 50th persona is all that he is, and all that he is is a man apathetic to the charms of everything except for an idiot currently struggling with the concept of non-instantaneous healing and the first Bactrian camel he's ever had the pleasure of meeting.

The structure gleams in the hazy setting sun, and Lavi reaches over a hump to tap Yuu very politely on the side (avoiding the shoulder Yuu dislocated when he tried to carry Takla over a steep creek, because he's an idiot currently struggling with the concept of non-instantaneous healing) to voice his concerns.

"Hey, Yuu, d'you wanna rejoin the Black Order? If Allen 'nd them start somethin', will you throw your lot in with them?"

It turns out that this topic's important enough to garner Yuu's attention, because he actually turns to look at Lavi and measure whatever he sees. It's a long moment of blatant staring, before he rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue. "Of course not. I was made to fight, and I fucking fought. Now I'm going to go in there and see who made it and who didn't, and then I'm going to go."

The world really lucked out that in spite of all that the Order had done to Yuu, his greatest act of rebellion is to stave off the complete destruction of mankind, crawl across the world trying to pick up stray Exorcists, check in on comrades and family, and then leave. Lavi really lucked out to have been the stray that did get picked up by this marvelous man and his marvelous camel.

All things considered, there's really just the one way forward, so long as he gets the okay. It takes a bit of finagling, and Takla makes an irritated sound as Lavi maneuvers over one of her humps to rest his chin on Yuu's good shoulder, certain by this point in their relationship that this is something he's allowed, and oh, isn't that amazing. "Yuu, d'you think you'd mind if I tagged along with you? After I check that the old man's all right, I honest t'god can't think of anything I want t'do more than keepin' on moving on th'back of a camel with th'world's most amazing man."

Yuu doesn't answer him, and it's not a 'no', which is already a bit of win. Lavi digs his pointy chin in deeper into meat and muscle, and sighs. "You picked me up once already, darlin', and whisked me the hell away. Why not a repeat performance, hey?"

Lavi wonders what Yuu thinks of when he thinks of an ideal new world. Surely Takla is there, and probably a revival of soba-makers. A green and quiet place close the sea, hard to get to but within reach of Tiedoll and his brood. Medical services nearby, maybe, to prepare for the first glorious stubbing of the toe.

Lavi wonders if he figures in it at all, wonders what he can do to worm his way in.

(Turns out, he's done enough.)

Yuu turns to face Lavi so quickly Lavi gets whipped by his hair, which was likely entirely intentional. This close up, the blue of Yuu's eyes is startling, and for a moment Lavi forgets that they're not Exorcists with weapons from god anymore, because he can almost hear the snap-crackle of barely-leashed electricity.

(A bad sprain might take actual time to heal now, but Lavi is such a fool to think that that renders Yuu anything approximating normal, god.)

"If I had to choose a life to save, it's always going to be Takla over you," Yuu says with utmost seriousness.

He might as well have kissed Lavi full on the lips, if he was going to be so forthright!

Lavi pulls himself back just with enough time to avoid bursting into delighted laughter in Yuu's ears. "Of course, Yuu-chan, I wouldn't expect anything less from you!"

It seems that the Universe is feeling generous, because Yuu carries on as though Lavi isn't having a bit of a break in the head from pleasant surprise. "I want to go find Marie, and take Takla on a beach holiday. As long as you're not dead weight, you can come."

You can come! A direct actual invitation! From Kanda Yuu, the man with 7 kingdoms to his name!

Lavi settles back in his seat, and tries really hard to avoid crowing with delight. "Darlin', would it be bad t'say that I'm probably gonna try harder t'stay in your good graces than I did fightin' the forces of evil for the sake of mankind?"

"No," Yuu says with utmost confidence. "I'm a hell of a lot better than mankind, after all."

And that, after months and months riding across a billion types of wasteland, is the first time Lavi actually falls of Takla, laughing so hard that he chokes on a mouthful of ash from the destruction of millions.

(Things are looking up).

A/N: God help me I love 1. camels 2. travel fics 3. aged-up AUs

Camels can carry up to 270 kilos, move as fast as horses, and can survive a temperature range of -29 C to 49 C, so everything allegedly checks out. Takla is named after the Taklamakan desert where Yuu found her, and I love her. It’s been so long since I wrote anything even vaguely canonical it’s wild oAo

Hope y’all enjoyed it!

Masterlist + Commission Info

#dgm #dgm hallow #laviyuu #lavi #kanda yuu #dgm fanfic #fanfic #this was 100% inspired by recent events #that had me staring at the inherent fragility of being human #and how tf that would feel #for some dumbass that's been invincible for most of his life #i like the thought of #yuu being used to intense pain #but also a short-terminess of suffering #that's on par w the short-terminess of #his existence #damn b #whale writing

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trueslove · 4 years

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✧･ﾟ: * ( park jiwon , cis female , she / her ) have you seen violet hwang around ? i hear the twenty-one year old is working as an art director . did you know they have 97 love alarm points ? if they ever want to be truly loved someday they should ease up on being temperamental & enigmatic . at least you can say they’re disarming & convivial, too. / love alarm blocked

hello ! im xan and ur watching d*sney channel ... just kidding we do NOT support big corporations who just wanna take ur money 😔 im 22 , from the est timezone ( even though my sleeping schedule ... does not reflect that sjbdwjkbdjdw ) & i go by she / her pronouns ! im gonna be honest this intro is gonna be completely winged so buckle up .... and meet violet 😋

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ quick stats + aesthetics !

full name: violet hwang.

nickname(s): vee, vivi.

zodiac: tba....

sexuality: bisexual.

birthplace: manhattan, new york.

current residence: toronto, canada.

aesthetics: maraschino cherries at the bottom of a glass, driving with the windows down at night, unanswered text messages, black nail polish, the sound of rain hitting the windowpane, kissing and not telling, smiles that don’t quite reach the eyes.

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ backstory !

was born and raised in nyc baby ! she’s a true city girl, grew up in lower manhattan ( the financial district if u wanna get specific ) to a family with lots of $$$$ thanks to her father’s position as a ceo of an investment bank located on wall street

life was pretty smooth until she was 17 and her father got arrested for embezzlement and fraud </3 it was actually a huge scandal for the investment bank he worked for because it was a whole group of higher ups who had been in on these crimes. basically a bunch of already rich men trying to get richer ... disgusting ik /:

her life changed pretty drastically after that ! the hwang name was all over the news, their family was pretty much disgraced by high society in nyc, not a very fun time for anyone but especially not for violet’s mom

after her dad got arrested violet was uhh high key furious with him for ruining their lives with his greed and she wanted nothing to do with him, but her mom couldnt let go. she was still defending him, spending the money they had left on lawyers which included the money the family had set aside for violet’s trust fund that she would have had access to once she was 18 </3

so her plans for college changed pretty drastically JSDBJWBDJW ( goodbye ivy league education ) she actually ended up getting into the university of toronto for visual studies on an academic scholarship

so she made the big move all on her own....moved into a tiny dorm...and vowed to reinvent herself. she didnt wanna be labeled as the daughter of a white collar criminal anymore so she just made it a point not to talk to much abt her past to anyone

her struggles as someone who grew up with $$$$ turning into a broke college student made for some embarrassing but funny moments <3 luckily though everyone else had their own struggles so no one found it suspicious JSBDJWBDJ

when love alarm launched three years ago, violet had just started college so it was really the Big thing anyone and everyone was talking about. since she’d never been a fan of other dating apps, she wasn’t gonna download it but her roommate at the time convinced her ! at first it was fun, just something she didnt take too seriously

fast forward to graduation and she’s snagged a job as an art director for a little local museum, doing freelance art directing on the side to help pay the bills. low and behold one day a photographer hires her to be the art director to a shoot they’re doing for a badge club member who was in a very high profile and public relationship at the time

violet ended up working with that photographer and badge club member a handful of times, enough for her to catch fee-🤢 catch feelin-🤢 i cant even say it .. she’d never rung anyone’s love alarm before, so of course her first time had to be with someone who was already taken </3 safe to say she ... freaked out

she was embarrassed above all else, but also heartbroken bc in her head like ... why would someone who literally is part of an exclusive club based on ppl ringing their love alarm care that she rung theirs ? she didnt think it’d be a big deal to them the way it was to her ( but also didn’t stick around long enough to find out jsxbsjbdjw )

when she was offered the block she didn’t hesitate to use it figuring it’s better if no one knows her romantic feelings ever again like that /: she’d delete the app but a part of her still likes knowing there are ppl out there who DO like her like that so ... Rip truly

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ personality + tidbits !

she comes across as ... kind of a bitch SDJBJWBJWBDW it’s truly not on purpose she just has a pretty serious resting expression most of the time ( so she looks mad or annoyed even when she isn’t ) and she’s pretty difficult to get to know ? not to mention the fact that no one has ever witnessed her ring someone’s love alarm .. so all that combined just makes it easy to assume she’s some sort of ice queen when that’s far from the truth /:

violet really isn’t one to open up too deep to people, but that’s got a lot to do with the past she’s kind of running away from ! so if you’re her friend most of the stuff you know about her is probably surface stuff, but when she’s close to someone she can make that fact hard to realize ? she just has a way with making the people in her life feel important so it’s easy not to be focused on how much you know about her

never bothers to correct the people that misjudge her. if you don’t like her, if you want to make up assumptions and rumors about her, go ahead like violet really won’t stop you which can sometimes make meeting new people difficult </3 if you’ve seen the dating class webdrama chuu was in she’s kinda like oh seyoung’s chara joowon 🤧

if she wants to, though, she’s pretty good at getting people to like her / trust her ! she does this a lot in professional situations, which is why she’s been doing so well as an art director so far despite being so young

she’s also very loyal to her friends ! if you can’t ask for extra sauces at mcdonald’s....if you can’t make a phone call to your credit card company explaining that a $3,000 charge to starbucks wasn’t you.....she’s your girl <3 since she’s relatively not bothered by the way people see her ( unless it has to do with her past ) she’s usually the one speaking up if someone she cares about can’t

after the ... incident ... JSDBWJDBWJ she’s really not a fan of the badge club and everything it stands for ): BUT she continues to do art directing work for a lot of the members when they do photoshoots, or instagram campaigns, or if they have a pop up shop, etc. it’s good money and she needs every penny considering she’s living without support from her family

cannot cook to save her life so she’s always eating out .. this really is why she’s taking those more high profile jobs she can’t budget .. but it’s better, safety wise at least, that she continues wasting her money on takeout aha <3

pretends she’s not a romantic and is all about the ~casual flings~ but really she’s just afraid of serious feelings and the idea of a serious relationship ... it’s the trauma 😔 constantly jokes shes gonna bring the tinder whore era back JWDBWJBDJW she is sick of this true love nonsense ! ( the irony of this url ahaha... )

she’s the most social after a few drinks, since drunk her isn’t burdened by a mind that overthinks literally everything the way she is sober. if you don’t supervise her though she can get pretty carried away and probably get into some kind of trouble so she’s definitely not the person you want to be in charge on a night out !

really wants a dog but doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a pet parent it feels just as scary as the idea of having an actual kid so ... BDWBDJW if you have a pet ? she’s gonna be living vicariously through you <3

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ wanted connections !

the photographer that hired her / introduced her to the badge club member she ended up having feelings for

the badge club remember she had / has feelings for because we love suffering 😈

old roommates from college !! maybe even the one that got her to download love alarm in the first place hehehe

also a current roommate / roommates because your girl can’t afford to live on her own <3

someone she’s confided in about her past ( maybe they judged her for it and had a falling out, or maybe they remain confidants )

an ex bf or gf she dated while she was in school ! she never rang their love alarm ( even though this was pre block ) so maybe that’s why things ended between them. or maybe they never rang each others and it was just a mutual thing where they both didn’t really have feelings for each other and tried to date anyway and it didn’t work. or perhaps they dated and when violet realized she was starting to have those feelings she dipped before she ever got a chance to ring their love alarm bc she didn’t want to be exposed like that and commitment is scary ):

spare best friend ? i’d use a knife emoji to show you how serious i am but i dont wanna scare anyone away aha .. i would just love a best friend plot 🥺

current flings / hookups or past flings / hookups ! i imagine most of them to not be serious but it would be kinda cool if there was someone she’s seeing now that she’s got the love alarm block that she’s actually falling for considering she’s never gonna be able to ring their love alarm hehehehe

people she art directs for !! i imagine she’s got a pretty long list of employers ( from badge club members to regular folk 🤧 ) so it would be cool to have people who hire her for stuff, or who collaborate with her for artistic endeavors since i’ve noticed we have a lot of artsy muses <3

ummm maybe an enemy. but where it’s like .. the hate isn’t even that deep it’s just like oh you dislike me ? well i dislike you FIRST 😠 and they insult each other and try and sabotage each other like five year olds fighting on the playground like it seems super serious to them but to everyone watching it’s like ... can you guys just get over it you dumb babies KSDBSDBWD like they could probably be good friends if they just .. stopped

and you’ve reached the end of this NOVEL of an intro post JDBJWBDJWBDW im literally so sorry i tried not to ramble but ..... its just who i am </3 please come shoot me a message to plot !!! you can use tumblr ims but im way more available / quicker to respond on discord so if u wanna add me there and plot u can find me at junhee mr. soft hands ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 i also did not check this post for typos so if u find one ... mind ur business 😭😭😭

#╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc ! ┘#lovealarm.intro #HELPSDBWJD finally i finished.....im so sorry in advance this is . so long #also im going out in like 2 hours to eat so if im slow to respond to messages tonight u know whats going on <33333

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kvndeathmusic · 4 years

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my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead.

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi.

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them.

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to.

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff.

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression.

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10.

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

#music #2010s

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codeblve · 4 years

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howdy y’all ! lilac’s the name, writing trashlord character’s the game. i hail from a lil island known as australia... so in essence, i am never gonna be online at the same time as anyone else dkjfghdkfjgd. but !! don’t let this deter you. like a lil ol’ boomerang i’ll eventually find my way into your dms and hopefully we can plot/write with all your incredible muses. <3 a lil info about me though, i’m a tea connoisseur, sims enthusiast, and i talk daily about how i consider the barbie films cinematic masterpieces. if i haven’t scared you off and you’d like to get to know my sweet and memey tough boi, please press that readmore to complete your transaction.

⌠LUKE HEMMINGS, TWENTY ONE, CISMALE, HE/HIM⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, BLUE HAWTHORNE! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + COVERT OPERATIONS (CP); and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a smiley face traced into the precipitation on a mirror after a long and warm shower, a constellation of bruises strewn across your body, impatient foot tapping in the hallows of detention, chopsticks fashioned into walrus tusks over a meal, climbing higher and higher with no sign of stopping). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 2/13/1998, they always request their CHEESY NACHOS WITH EXTRA GUAC from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

( PERSONALITY ! )

( for more details about blue, check out his stats & hcs here ! )

he is playful, jocular, impulsive, and honestly? immature lmao. he is honestly a Soft Jock™

he’s always been looking for the childhood he never got to have, y’know? he does this in the way he’s always cracking jokes, a bit of a class clown, disruptive. a wholesome prank or two.

he gets in trouble in school more than his fair share, simply for daydreaming or sneaking out. he doesn’t let the institution define him, but he can take orders when needed. he can be very loyal tho, and much like eggsy in kingsmen, if someone asked him to choose between his dog or orders ?? he’s always choosing the dog kdjgf

he is secretly very insecure and always has a need to please. if someone doesn’t like him, he’ll tear himself apart to figure out why.

he’s always telling jokes and always laughing. he’s known for his Memes and is always a good time to be around. social butterfly, gregarious. chances are if you don’t know him, you’ve heard him dkfgjdf

he’s also a bit Anti-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( sex lmao ) because ya boi has commitment issues so high they’re floating out there in space

he can also be very maternal when the need arises. he is not good at talking about emotions but he’ll give you a meme or a hug to Heal You

he very much reminds me of the human embodiment of a puppy. cannot be alone for very long, has a short attention span, and craves validation lmfao. give him a squeaky toy and he will be Contented

as a soon-to-be spy he can be Tough in the field when he needs to be but he’s also v sensitive. most see him as a macho, just genuinely happy kinda dude but, he truly feels a lot. he won’t let you know that, though.

he struggles academically as he has a short attention span most of the time and thinks too little of himself. however, he’s a lot brighter than most people give him credit for. he’s incredibly creative and a lateral thinker. maths makes him want to die, tho. he does shine in physical trials at least, which is something !

also what’s money? blue does not know. he grew up with hardly anything, and has been working since he could. for this reason he’s quite frugal and struggles to throw things away.

blue’s troubled past ( explained below ) is something he doesn’t acknowledge, and not a lot of people know about. to many, he’s known as the local Meme Dealer. but to a lucky few, he’s known as a friend who would do anything for you.

most just know him as the moron named after a colour tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

( HISTORY ! ) - tw: illness/cancer, death, substance ( alcohol / drugs ) & depression.

blue hawthorne, who never goes by his birthname bc he hates it dfkjgdgdf, was born in the town of sparks, nevada !

it was always just blue and his mother, margarette. he never met his father and he was gone long before blue’s mother could even tell him about a pregnancy test. cut off from her family due to having a child out of wedlock, the pair started a life for themselves. all they had was a humble abode in a trailer park. material possessions were lacking, but blue never felt like he went without.

blue’s mother was by very definition blue’s best friend. they both shared a love of music and ballet, and margarette worked as many jobs as she could to allow for her son to take lessons. starting quite young, at the age of four or five, blue was actually quite good. the usually mischievous and erratic child found structure in the discipline, and it was the thing that brought him the most happiness.

as a child blue was often teased for his interest, and the fact that he was so close with his mother. despite being incredibly short and frail at the time, he was also very outspoken and strong-willed, and never let his peers get the best of him. he danced, he laughed, he bruised his knees at any given opportunity. made a lot of mistakes. what he lacked in possessions he gained in the abundance of joy he felt in his heart growing up. his mother and a few of his close friends were his world.

when blue turned fifteen, everything changed.

( illness / cancer tw ) the jubilant, mischievous, but altogether kind-hearted boy was given the heart-breaking news that his mother had been diagnosed with cancer. margarette hawthorne, much like her son, was a fighter - and didn’t let such a diagnosis keep her down. despite their dwindling lack of funds now going towards medical bills, and the fact blue began sacrificing his own childhood as he took to the role of a caretaker of sorts for his mother, he never took his time with her for granted.

things were okay for a while. there was a point where the doctors were convinced that she was going to make it. blue was a fool. blue believed them.

at the age of sixteen, blue lost everything. he lost his place to live, he lost his childhood and lust for life, and he lost the person he loved most in the world. he lost his best friend.

it wasn’t long before the overbearing sympathy from those around him soured blue. he was sick of being bullied, people not liking him, and altogether not being in control of his own life. most of all, he felt so hopeless as his best friend in the entire world was starting to fade. so what did this boy do ? he quit ballet (the thing he’d loved since he was able to stand), he started drinking, he got involved with a very bad crowd and became a frequenter of the local police station. blue became a certified Bad Boy™

blue was sent to live with the grandparents that despised him and never acknowledged his existence before that moment, having met them at his mother’s funeral. righteous and conservative in their views, they had cast aside their daughter when she had blue, and only reached out to her in her final months. for this reason, blue despised these people (he refused to call them family). he tried his best to be appreciative of a house and food ( which was much better than anything he had growing up ). but he was cold. always cold.

( substance tw ) in his latter adolescence, blue fell into a rapid succession of bad decisions. still small, still frail in stature, he found himself at a dissonance with his image and began growing insecure about his looks, the years of torment weighing on him. he found anesthetic in the party scene outside of school, taking to alcohol and drugs as a sedative from the life he felt forced to lead. he couldn’t decide if he hated himself or he hated the world more.

at the age of 17, his rap sheet seemed to grow with each rise and fall of the sun. he was hardly ever ‘home’ and couch surfed. at the age of 17 he’d gotten his own car and lived more out of that than the stuffy house on top of the hill where he was supposed to be. his grades were debris lost in his tumultuous storm, he was always looking for validation from the kids he hung around with and made some very poor decisions in the hopes he’d be liked. in the hopes he’d find a new family.

the partying, the stream of hook ups, his criminal record (mainly with petty theft, a few write ups for public intoxication and fighting), the instability of his living situation and his future all came to boil just before he turned 18. physically he’d started to fill out, and look more like the man people know today. he was no longer frail and no longer weak, and when asked, he used to his fists to forge that path he thought he wanted.

after a dark night, it became apparent to blue that his path of self destruction was hurting no one but himself. things had to change.

through nothing short than a McMiracle (sponsored by Ronald McDonald, bc no one else is rich enough to pull it off lmfao) blue managed to scrape by and complete high school. not well by any means. but he did it.

it was about now that blue had been informed of a small school called blackthorne academy. details were scarce, but what drew the blond’s attention was the tuition ( or lack thereof ). his acceptance cited his physical capabilities as seen through his many years of dance and explained why he was of particular interest to the school. he was suspicious, to say the least. but blue knew he wanted to become something, and to go to this school would not only take him away from a life he wanted to forget, but he would become self sufficient, and be able to leave his toxic family situation on his own terms.

bidding farewell to the grandparents he was only beginning to know, his grandfather saw no reason to extend her kindnesses, and cut blue off. at the age of 18 he was homeless, with nothing but a car and a handful of pokemon cards he’d had as a kid. not worth anything or even particularly sentimental, he just likes pokemon kgfjfd.

living in his car for a while before eventually crashing with a close friend, blue managed to absorb his days in work before eventually starting his tenure at blackthorne. although blue’s wild days are behind him, there are some things locked in his past that still haunt him. there are doors he never hopes to open again. but he got his fresh start, and is determined to live the life a young blue would have wanted for him, and one his mother could be proud of. and who knows, maybe he could go on and save the world.

( WANTED CONNECTIONS ! )

all of these are absolute trash, and i much prefer plotting with specific characters in mind to cater it to our muses and make it unique to them. (~: but i do have a few wanted connections here as a starting off point !! if any of them really call to you though, please let me know as i would adore to have anything listed !! with that in mind, i wanted to include a sample of a few of the connects on the page here to make things a lil easier.

— *. ; ( co-workers ) || this connection is a little up in the air as i understand that students aren’t allowed to leave campus without staff supervision, and tuition isn’t awfully high if you can’t afford it ! however, blue has no money, and if at all possible he would try and get some sort of job whilst at blackthorne/gallaghers. whether that be doing odd jobs as part of his covert ops classes, or even working for the campus doing things like lawn maintenance, working in the stables, or literally anything that was open ! ( his ‘job’ could even be bringing in dkfjgdf some sorts of contraband to sell to other students, lmfao. nothing illegal, just stuff you can’t get on campus ). this connection is meant for any muses that may also be employed, or want them to be, and these two could be co-workers ! with an admin blessing we can figure out what is logistically possible within the plot, and if your muse already has a job i’d be very interested to have blue be a coworker if you were at all interested !! <3

— *. ; ( protector ) || there are two things blue hates most in this world: liars, and bullies. as an older ( and arguably large ) student, he comes to find someone who is going through a rough time assimilating to life at the academy for whatever reason. on the surface neither of them have anything in common, but the pair form a sibling like bond, and blue is willing to do anything to protect their friend.

— *. ; ( aggressor ) || blue is very mild mannered for the most part, save for any jokes he likes to make. however, there is someone on campus who absolutely makes his blood boil. whether this person dislikes blue for his lack of wealth and sophistication, his inherent need to never pick sides, or his immediate abandonment of respect for blackthorne once the truth came to light. or perhaps he made a joke in their early days that rubbed this person the wrong way, and a toxic environment has persisted since then. i imagine this relationship has escalated to violence, and for whoever picks this up i’d really love to delve into their hatred and flesh out their angst !

there are plenty more connects on the page and like i said, i am literally happy to plot anything under the sun. (~:

thank you so much for reading ! if you made it all the way here ?? you’re a h*cking legend lmfao. if there’s anything here that stood out to you please hit me up either on tumblr dms or via discord ( my user is lilac 🍕#1835, or kjgdgdf the person with the crying squidward icon in the gc lmfao ). as there are quite a lot of members here, please like this here intro if you are interesting in plotting/writing with me so i know !! i’ll check out your beautiful intro and Throw (or rather, gently pass you) some ideas your way if you haven’t messaged me first. <3 but thank you so much again for making it to this point, here’s a proverbial cookie for your troubles. it’s double choc chip, enjoy it. (~:

#gallagher:intro #this was... so long aND IM SO SORRY #thank y'all for all being literal angels and making me feel so welcome (':#( ooc ; i have the power of god & anime on my side ! )

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ofphcenixes · 5 years

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THE PHOENIX || BLUE HAWTHORNE.

ok i won’t lie i stole this intro from veritas 2 kdJKDGF BUT ! if you want to get to know this guy definitely hit the readmore below *shaky eye emoji*. also hi i’m lilac i’m an admin and also a sims enthusiast anyways, back onto what’s important here, this lil bean called red blue !

personality

THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO BLUE FACTS. PLEASE TEXT ‘STOPBLUE’ TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION.

but if you have seen blue’s blog sidebar and title, i feel like you will gather a LOT about his personality lmfao

he is playful, jocular, and honestly? immature

always looking for the childhood he never got to have, y’know?

he is secretly very insecure and always has a need to please. if someone doesn’t like him, he’ll tear himself apart to figure out why.

he’s always telling jokes and always laughing. he’s known for his Memes and is always a good time to be around… if you know what i mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

but also Anti-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) because ya boi has commitment issues so high they’re past the inevitable spaghetti monster that’s probably floating out there in space

he can also be very maternal when the need arises. he is not good at talking about emotions but he’ll give you a meme or a plate of cookies to Heal You

honestly? the human embodiment of a puppy. cannot be alone for very long, has a short attention span, and craves validation lmfao. give him a squeaky toy and he will be Contented

as a footballer he can be Tough on field when he needs to be but he’s also v sensitive and talks to birds he passes on his morning runs like he’s a disney princess djkgfdk

also what’s money? blue does not know

to many, blue’s known as the troubled kid who turned his life around. to others, he’s known as the local Meme Dealer. but to a lucky few, he’s known as a friend who would do anything for you.

most just know him as the moron named after a colour tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

history. (trigger warning: illness, death, drugs, depression)

WHO’S READY FOR SOME CHROMATIC CONTENT

blue hawthorne, who never goes by his birthname bc he hates it dfkjgdgdf ( what is his birthname ? he’ll never tell ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ) was born right here in ashmont.

despite not having a lot - he grew up with just him and his mum ( his father left before he was born, never knew a thing about him ), in a tiny trailer park on the outskirts of town. a far cry from the opulent manors peppered all throughout town, and the very lifestyle blue’s mother was accustomed to as a child. however, the pair were content as long as they were together.

despite not having much, blue loved every second of his childhood. he wore his mischief like a crown, smiling wherever he went. he’d always resonated with a love of music and dance, and like his mother before him, danced. ballet was his passion growing up, and started as young as 5.

as a child blue was often teased for this, and the fact that he was so close with his mother. he was also very outspoken and strong-willed, and never let his peers get the best of him. he danced, he laughed, he bruised his knees at any given opportunity. what he lacked in possessions he gained in the abundance of joy he felt in his heart growing up. his mother and a few of his close friends were his world.

when blue turned ten, everything changed.

the jubilant, mischievous, but altogether kind-hearted boy was given the heart-breaking news that his mother had been diagnosed with cancer. margarette hawthorne, much like her son, was a fighter - and didn’t let such a diagnosis keep her down. despite their dwindling lack of funds now going towards medical bills, and the fact blue began sacrificing his own childhood as he took to the role of a caretaker of sorts for his mother, he never took his time with her for granted.

things were okay for a while. there was a point where the doctors were convinced that she was going to make it. blue was a fool. blue believed them.

at the age of thirteen, blue lost everything. he lost his place to live, he lost his childhood and lust for life, and he lost the person he loved most in the world. he lost his best friend.

it wasn’t long before the overbearing sympathy from those around him soured blue. he was sick of being bullied, people not liking him, and altogether not being in control. so what did this boy do ? he quit ballet (the thing he’d loved since he was able to stand), he started drinking, he got involved in a very bad crowd and became a frequenter of the local ashmont police station. blue became a certified Bad Boy™

blue was sent to live with the grandparents that despised him and never acknowledged his existence before that moment. righteous and conservative in their views, they had cast aside their daughter when she had blue out of wedlock, and only reached out to her in her final months. for this reason, blue despised these people (he refused to call them family). he tried his best to be appreciative of a house and food ( which was much better than anything he had growing up ). but he was cold. always cold.

as a teenager, blue fell into a rapid succession of bad decisions. still small, still frail in stature, he found himself at a dissonance with his image and began growing insecure about his looks, the years of torment weighing on him. he found anesthetic in the party scene outside of school, taking to alcohol and drugs as a sedative from the life he felt forced to lead. his grandparents were pigeon-holing him into a preppy, studious boy who’d go on to be a banker or a lawyer, when all blue had wanted to do was be himself. he couldn’t decide if he hated himself or he hated the world more.

at the age of 16, his rap sheet seemed to grow with each rising of the sun. he’d fallen in with a bad crowd, hardly ever heading ‘home’ and couch surfed. at the age of 16 he’d gotten his own car and lived more out of that than the stuffy house on top of the hill where he was supposed to stay. his grades were sinking towards the bottom of the barrel, he was always looking for validation from the bad kids he hung around with and made some very poor decisions in the hopes he’d be liked. in the hopes he’d find a new family.

the partying, the stream of hook ups, his criminal record (mainly with traffic offences, a few write ups for public intoxication and fighting), sobriety, the instability of his living situation and his future all came to boil just before he turned 17. physically he’d started to fill out, and look more like the man people know today. he was no longer frail and no longer weak, and when asked, he used to his fists to forge that path he thought he wanted.

after a dark night, it became apparent to blue that his path of self destruction was hurting no one but himself. whether by choice or by accident, he knew he wasn’t ready to see his mother again. so… he’d hit rock bottom with a spectacular thud. but blue knew the only way to go from there was up.

through nothing short than a McMiracle (sponsored by Ronald McDonald, bc no one else is rich enough to pull it off lmfao) blue managed to scrape by and complete high school.

blue had no doubt his family name (that of his grandparents) helped him secure an athletic scholarship to st etienne. in his year of transformation from 17 to 18 his grandmother had softened to the boy she’d always hated and was riddled with guilt for the years of mistreatment, and promised to pay for his education (that wasn’t covered by his scholarship) as long as he promised to make something of himself. his first year of college, things really started looking up for blue. he was finally back on track.

then woops, grim came a-knocking again

bidding farewell to the grandmother he was only beginning to know, his grandfather had no reason to extend her kindnesses, and cut blue off. at the age of 18 he was homeless, with nothing but a car and a handful of pokemon cards he’d had as a kid. not worth anything or even particularly sentimental, he just likes pokemond kgfjfd.

living in his car for a while before eventually crashing with a close friend, blue managed to absorb his days in study and in work. he quickly found his passion in helping kids, and giving them the childhoods that he never got. going into teaching seemed like a no-brainer.

although blue’s wild days are behind him, there are some things locked in his past that still haunt him. there are doors he never hopes to open again. but he got his fresh start, and is determined to live the life a young blue would have wanted for him, and one his mother could be proud of.

then the grim reaper came back a third time, his scythe begging for daisey rutherford.

the investigation.

blue’s connection to daisey is that they danced in ballet classes together… as you can imagine, daisey had to put on her Evil Training Wheels somewhere and unfortunately, blue was one of her earliest victims. teased constantly for his appearance, his love of ballet, his lack of wealth, and on awful days, his single parent household.

for the most part blue had grown resilient in ignoring these comments. but he never forgot how daisey mistreated him, and sparked a wave of similar comments from people in their year when they were only children.

hey now im not gonna rEVEAL (bc what if he is ??? :o ) anything relating to the crime if he was the murderer, but know he is Lorge and Strong and could probably push daisey over with his finger lmfao

it’s also worth noting that one of daisey’s parents, a beloved surgeon, treated blue’s mother whilst she was in hospital with cancer. the late detection of its return is what caused her death, and blue has been vocal in his blame in the rutherford family for the loss of the person closest to him ever since.

now i’m not saying blue did anything… but if he did, his ‘eye for an eye’ motive ? maybe not as crazy as you may think. especially when you consider your boi already has a criminal record. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

plots.

atm i am still working on blue’s blob and getting his stats/connections page up BUT !! here are a few fun lil plots beyond his skeleton connections that i’d absolutely love to explore. also here’s his current connections page for further ideas !

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS - blue grew up in ashmont, and didn’t have a lot of friends kfgjfd. if your muse would have been down for a Young Memey Mess that’s fond of a pirouette, blue is your Man. on the flip side, if your muse is one of the Cool Kids and is looking for potential animosity, i’d love someone who tried to squash blue like a bug in their youth (~:

FLIRTATIONSHIP - blue is currently in a (hidden) relationship, and for the first time in his life, gasp, might have feelings. but he’s a fucking walnut and refuses to admit that, so a plot of someone with an unrequited crush, a fun flirtationship, or even someone that just wants to be his wingman would not only be fun, but also incredibly painful - which is what we deserve. 8) (also note, blue is bisexual so any muse would work. <3)

COWORKERS - blue works as a trainer at the ashmont fitness centre ( …. dont @ maaria for the page not being done fgjdgkdf WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF UPDATING THE PAGES NOW KDFJGDKFJ). but i’d always be down for plots in the workplace !!

UBER - sorry for the lame ass name lmao but dkjfgfkd blue is not about the party scene anymore ( lowkey bc he’s afraid to get addicted again and throw away everything he’s worked so hard for). but he does care a lot about people, and a pal of his is v much still hooked to that lifestyle and he very dkfgjdf determinedly drives them home every time to ensure they’re safe. could be former party friends, could be current friends in some capacity. maybe there was an incident in their past that blue feels guilt over ( a fight perhaps, trigger warning - maybe an overdose?) and so now he looks after them. or even just having a sibling-like bond, which (as blue is an only child) i’d also love something like that!

STUDY BUDDY - blue is a moron and needs someone to help him not fail kdfjgdf. he may not be naturally adept at getting good grades, but unlike many, he’s trying his absolute hardest. in return, he’s more than happy to be your Meme Dealer. bonus points if it’s unlikely friends, or if they didn’t exactly get along at first. :D

FELLOW FOOTBALLERS - 2 bros sitting in a hot tub five feet apart bc they’re not gay. dkjgdgdf but for REAL. exploring the team dynamic of the football team would be so fun, especially with blue’s reputation and the fact he only started taking up the sport when he was about 15-16, which may be a lot later than other guys in the team.

RIVALS - god they’re probably rivals about memes and i hate that but that’s just what it is :/

ok i have nothing else to say other than thank you for being a sweetheart and reading through this ??? i know it was a McMess but, if you’d like to plot with said mcmess definitely hit me up - or wait it out a lil bc i plan to do some starter stuff and plotting later today. (~: love you all, and viva la daisey !

#veritasintro #IDK WHAT THIS IS IM SORRY DJKFGDF

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chrysolina · 6 years

Text

Clinging to you

Asks - Hiii! How’re u? I was wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader is dating cevans, and over hears I’m saying that she’s too clingy and he might break up with her? Then she avoids him for days. And the reason she’s clingy is bc she thinks she’s going to lose him? But chris didn’t know that and realizes how much he misses and loves her? Love ur page btw seriously - anon

Hiii! Can you do a fic with cevans x girl reader. She overheard him saying that she’s too clingy and sometimes he just wants to be alone and is thinking abt breaking up w her and so she ignores him for days but he doesn’t know why but they get into a fight about it after ? Basically angst to fluff? -

Thank you both for this amazing ask!! Here it is, hope you enjoy 💕

Summary - Chris is getting tired - tired of your clinginess to him. So much so, he wants to end your five year relationship - but how can you with a massive obstacle soon to be in the way?

Word count - 2.6k

Warnings - angst, swearing, fluff, mention of sex

M A S T E R L I S T

Photoshoots, Chris hated them. As much as he was a kind soul and wasn’t one to complain, he wasn’t having any of it today. A humid, gripping air hung around LA the whole day and the studio was no different, the air-con was trying it’s best to cool everyone but with the recent heatwave that had just passed, it just wasn’t enough.

Ever since he was a baby, Chris never liked the heat - period - it still made him as cranky, snappy and generally frustrated at the most mundane or innocent of things even now, thirty six years later.

Through all the hair styling, outfit changes, prop swapping, flashes and clicks of the camera, he was continuously keeping his cool - until you, literally, stepped through the door of the studio. He didn’t understand why but as of late, you had been rather clingy with him - far too clingy, if Chris had further words for it.

He hadn’t dared to say it to you yet but your incessant clinginess only made him want to tear away from you and call it quits. He was a lone spirit, an independent one at that and he just couldn’t stand the cramped feeling you gave him whilst you were around him.

You smiled, waved and said hi to him whilst the hairdressers were sorting his hair, like most would, you expected him to smile back and either tell you to come see him or say hey back but no, Chris just glared daggers into you, making your happy go-lucky smile drop in an instant. You didn’t digress too much over it however, you shrugged it off and went off to the lunchtime buffet that had just opened on the other side of the studio.

After a while, things weren’t adding up. The head photographer had called it time for lunch just over twenty minutes ago and Chris hadn’t showed up. With a huff, you asked his and your manager if he knew where he went, to which he replied ‘I think he went to his dressing room darling’, you thanked him and paced quickly to Chris’ room.

Halfway through your walk, a god-awful gut feeling stabbed your insides like a katana ‘what if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he’s mad at me?’ You shrugged off the thoughts, clenched your now incredibly valuable handbag closer to you and kept walking.

The dressing rooms were deadly silent bar your heeled sandals clicking on the tiled floor, a cool air whipped past your neck and made you hold your body whilst it shivered. Although it was from afar, you could hear Chris’ voice bellow through his dressing room and seep out of the flimsy door and its gaps, making you puzzle at the anger in his voice.

You didn’t want to knock the door and ask how he was, as bad as it was you wanted to listen to what on Earth had got him so riled up and moreover, who he was talking to.

As best as you could, you stayed pressed against the wall next to his door and steadied your breathing so you could hear what he had to say. “You have no clue how fucking ridiculous she’s being right now man,” who was he on about? “She’s driving me fucking insane with her constant fucking neediness!” He wasn’t talking about you..was he?

“Chris I’m sure it’s just a phase,” you knew who’s voice that was on the speakerphone, Scott. “Y/N’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Believe me when I say that bro,” wait...was Chris venting about you? Neediness? Your head began to spin with all the accusations.

“More like the worst thing to happen to me.” You could almost visualise Chris’ face when he said that about you. Unbeknownst to you, tears began to cascade down your cheeks freely at the painful words that Chris kept spewing out about you. “She really does make me want to run to the fucking hills Scott.”

“You don’t mean that Chris.”

“The fuck I do, Y/N’s just become too much for me and I can’t stick it anymore...how much will mom and dad hate me if I came back home without Y/N?” No, he wasn’t thinking about this now, of all the times right now he was choosing to do this now?

Before you actually let out a sob, you bolted straight out of there and straight to the ladies toilets to basically bawl your eyes out. You sat on the toilet seat and looked at the pristine photo that sat in your bag, waiting to be shown to the world and more importantly, to Chris; you couldn’t bare to look at the image after hearing what he had to say about you - his fiancée, his supposed ‘rock’, his ‘everything’ - was it all a lie?

After a twenty minute cry alone in the full toilets, you cleaned yourself up, refreshed your makeup and wandered out to an awaiting Chris and your manager. To your disgust, Chris smiled at you like as if you had come back to life from the grave and went to go and hug you but you ducked away from him with a coldness you never thought you’d have.

“Right then Y/N, are you ready?” Your manger asked you kindly, you were to feature in the magazine shoot alongside Chris - due to your own stardom - in some very pleasing photos.

“Actually, can I reschedule it for another day?” You smiled sadly at him and watched out the corner of eye Chris’ brows furrowing in question.

“I think I must’ve eaten something disagreeable and I kinda threw up in the toilet just now,” you partly lied clean through your teeth and smiled weakly at your manager, your colourless parlour catching his eye.

He was the first to know about your recent stomach bug that had lingered in you for the longest while now and was quick to understand your position right now, being sick in this heat must be awful.

“Of course, how about I bargain for this Friday? It’ll give a bit of time then,” he smiled and ignored Chris head moving from you to his manager a flurried way. Three days to get well again and do the appropriate precautions, a squeeze but perfect.

“Wonderful, thank you so so much Charles.” You sighed, waved your goodbyes to everyone bar Chris and paced off to your car in the parking lot.

Without notice, a large hand caught your forearm and pulled you back a step of two. “Where’re you going Y/N/N?” Chris partially snapped at you and tried to look you deep in the eye but the facade you put on prevented him from doing so.

“I’m going home Chris,” You snapped and yanked your hand out of his vice-like grip with such a strength, it made him look twice. Chris panicked, he needed to talk to you and ask you where you were going.

As quick as he could, his hand caught yours and held you still. “Why? Y/N what’s going on?” Chris whined and pleaded to you like a child who wanted his favourite candy. You clicked your teeth and yanked your hand away again, this time taking a step away for precautions sake and kept your handbag close to you.

“Nothing that’d concerns you.” You snapped furiously and steamed away to your car around the back of the studio, your hand holding the side of your stomach protectively.

What a mess the supposed best day of your life had turned out to be.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Instead of holing yourself up for the rest of the afternoon and evening, you chose to be as productive as possible with your free time before Chris came back home to your shared LA home.

You out all your clothes in suit protectors int he wardrobe and kept everything neatly together in case the worst came to be tonight, you cleaned the house, baked a chocolate cake for all times sake, took Dodger for a walk around the local trail and emptied your valuables from your shared safe in your dresser.

By the time the photo shoot was finished and they were packing away, you were all set for the worst and was calmly watching the evening lights flicker in the distance, your feet dangling peacefully in the pool, Dodger laying next to you and your phone.

Like the devil’s calling, you could hear the said actor’s car pulling into the driveway, the engine stop and the door slam shut with a loud slam that jolted Dodger out of his dazed slumber. Before Dodger could get up and run to see Chris, he had already come through the door and likewise, slammed it shut with a fury that made you sick to stomach.

“Y’know you can sometimes be a real bitch Y/N Y/L/N!” Chris yelled and echoed through the entire house, his footing more like stomps as he neared your form by the pool. Dodger jumped out of the way and paced back in the house, as if he already knew to leave his parents alone.

“It’s part of my speciality.” You deadpanned and kept your head forward, refusing to look at Chris who stood beside you.

“Sixteen times Y/N, sixteen times I called and you never answered. Lord knows how many times I text you.” Chris ranted and raved and paced back and forth behind you. You didn’t budge though, you just stared off into the distance holding your tongue from saying something real bad.

“Look who’s being the clingy one now, Christopher.” You chided with a dead-like face and smiled internally once the pacing stopped and you could feel Chris’ eyes on your head. Chris’ heart dropped mike and miles at your words and immediately thought back to the heated conversation he had with Scott earlier.

He couldn’t articulate any words and only looked at you stunned. “No words now, hm? You seemed to have plenty earlier, didn’t you Christopher?” This time your urned to look him dead in the eye with a glare that could easily freeze over hell and its counterparts.

Slowly, you rose to your feet and stood only a few inches away from Chris’ sullen form, eyeing him up as of you were going to murder him.

‘How did you hear...” Chris trailed off and let his mouth go slack at the sight of you, red eyed and pale as a dead person - he did this to you, he knew it.

You scoffed at the Bostonian as if he had said something utterly ridiculous. “C’mon Chris, anyone at leat ten foot away could hear you slagging me off!” You snapped and pushed past him back into the house, your feet getting especially wet.

“I wasn’t slagging you off!” Chris suddenly shouted from the patio doors, making you stop dead in your tracks.

“Weren’t you? Cause it sure fucking sounded like that Chris.” You snapped him off again and began to walk to the staircase.

“I had every right to do so Y/N!” Chris’ voice echoed around the house and made you stop again, this time with tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You’ve been so clingy and up in my business lately, it’s driving me fucking insane. ‘Oh Chris help me here. Chris can I come with you here. Can I come with you there. Can you tell me this, that and the other. Come with me here Chris. Do this Chris. Do that Chris.’ Do you get what I’m saying Y/N?” Chris yelled at you shaking form and didn’t let up, not like he saw your shaking anyways.

“You’re clingy Y/N, admit you did wrong and apologise.” Chris demanded and it made your blood boil in rage. Apologise? Apologise for being unwell? Apologise for being pregnant with his child? Your stubbornness wouldn’t allow it.

Instead of doing the usuals yell at each other gimmick, you turned around and sulked towards him as if you were sorry, as if you had a lot to apologise for. Chris’ cold glare never left you whilst you stood before him, your eyes plastered to the floor. “Tomorrow is coming Y/N. Anything would do.”

Without any second thought, you stood straight and slapped him straight across the face, sending him stumbling back a step or two. “Give me a fucking break Evans! Five years we’ve been together and you were willing to throw it all under the bus and run away just because I’ve been a little clingy lately?” You screeched at him, not daring to hold back.

“I hope you’ve got a big heart because I’ve fucking over this bullshit. You wanna throw away us, fine but just remember, you’ll also be throwing away a possible son or daughter too.” Your voice broke into a sob near the end of your speech. You couldn’t stand it anymore, to stand here in his presence was making you feel light on your feet in the worst possible way.

You didn’t bother to look back at Chris and bolted for the stairs, cradling your small bump and holding your head in the process. Your ran to your once-shared bedroom and shut the door tight, your legs giving away and crumbling from beneath you once your back hit the thick wood.

It could’ve been minutes or hours later, you felt yourself being hoisted off the floor bridal style and placed gently on your bed. Your eyes fluttered at the sudden feeling of wet salty lips on your own, you didn’t know what to do; reciprocate the kiss or leave it?

Reciprocate or leave?

No matter how cumbersome his words were on your mind, Chris was your one love, your fiancé, your everything and you couldn’t imagine anyone else filling that role; ever.

Just before he was going to pull away, your smaller hands flew to his bearded cheeks and pulled him back down to kiss you like never before. It was a kiss that neither of you had ever shared before, it was so powerful, so loving and so apologetic you couldn’t help but allow Chris’ frame to slide in between your legs and his arms circle around you like a warm blanket.

Once you opened your eyes, you were met with the face of a scared, broken and elated Chris who looked like he had been slapped square in the face with - oh wait, he had.

You tentatively touched the bright red area and watched him wince at the touch, much to your horror. “What did I do to you..” you mumbled in a breath and rubbed his other cold, wet cheek with your thumb.

“No baby, what did I do to you?” Chris’ forehead leant against yours lovingly and stared into you Y/E/C eyes longingly.

“Where shall I start?” You tried to lighten the mood with your joke but it seemed to be taken the other way once Chris’ lips met yours again in a steamy, passionate kiss.

“Let me make it up to you Y/N...” Chris sighed into your mouth, hooked one of your legs around his hips and ground his forming erection softly against your core, giving you the precise idea he had.

“So long as you don’t go a-wall on us again, then yes. Love me, Chris.” You sighed at the motion down below and slowly under the belt of Chris’ jeans.

Tags - @patzammit

A/N: if anyone’s up for it, I’m thinking of doing a small smut following this watery ass ending lol. If anyone’s interested ofc * (:

*A/N: since school stuff has got mega crazy all of a sudden I may put a future smut off until I can get around to it!! So sorry everyone!! )):

#chris evans #steve rogers #captain america #marvel #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans headcanon #chris evans fluff #chris evans x you #chris evans imagine #chris evans smut #chris evans x pregnant!reader #imagine steve rogers

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taeyuung · 5 years

Text

Back To Life🌞🌧

Stoner!mark x Terminallyill!reader

not proofread!!!!!

warnings: mentions of underage drugs & alcohol, heavy talk abt illness’s, death, major sad boy hours

genre: angst, fluff if u rub ur eyes

bulleted au!

so you and mark have been friends for about two years

you both met on the night of your fifteenth birthday,, when you couldn’t sleep after trying for about two hours

you threw on an oversized hoodie and sweats,,, courtesy of your big brother jaehyun

you quietly ventured outside and snook around to the back of your house where there was a small park, that no one except you and your family knew about

so you thought lol

as you were walking along the path, you saw a cloud of smoke puff into the air and float away

you were beyond confused because?? who could that be??

you continued walking along the path, which crossed them anyway

when you reached them, you saw who it was beneath the black beanie pulled snugg over their head

it was mark lee

local stoner boy who got away with anything because his dad was head police officer

yes cliche whatever

n e way, local stoner boy is what you called him

you always kind of disliked him

not because of something he had done

but he always seemed to have a cocky aura or something

you had never talked to him very much before until then

he noticed you standing there and looked up at you

“can i help you?”

“nah, can i sit?” you said hoping for some company that night

“yeah sure uh i guess” he scoots up on the bench and dabs out his cigarette bud

“im y/n”

“mark, mark lee”

he would never forget that night, the way you smiled at him when you introduced yourself, a real smile.

that night you literally spent like five hours up talking and you exchanged numbers ofc

ever since, you and mark would meet at that bench every other night

he would be smoking or occasionally drinking, depending on his mood

he opened up to you about the difficulties in his life amd you would do the same to him

never in your life would you had expected to see local stoner boy, mark lee, so vunerable

he would often cry on your shoulder, you was his bestfriend and he was yours.

it was when you hadn’t shown up for almost a week around your seventeenth birthday, mark began to worry

you would text him and say you had “too much studying” or you were “too tired”

a bunch of bs tbh

you were just sick, your parents wrote it off as a common cold or migraines

your head would pulsate with pain and your vision often became blurry

but you didn’t want mark catching your sickness, so you decided to come up with excuses

bc if you told him you were sick, he would be straight to you in a heartbeat with whatever you needed

on the second week of you not turning up, mark decided to visit you

he felt quilty that he had done something wrong to offend you, thats why you wouldnt meet him

so, as he walked through the door

your parents out of town and your brother in college

he didn’t hear a sound and assumed you were just asleep

but when he opened you bedroom door he noticed you slim figure sprawled across your carpeted floor, you had collapsed

mark had seen you go through some of the toughest times, he’d seen you cry for hours on his shoulder and he’d seen you scream and shake in anger

but this sight had broken his heart into a million tiny pieces, your body was so thin and skeletal, you truly looked like death itself

his eyes welled up as he picked up your body off of the floor and went to his old tattered jeep

he gently put you in the car, afraid of your fragile state and drove quickly to the hospital

that was the day you were disgnosed with astrocytoma, also known as cancer of the brain

they had told you it was a growing tumour that clutched itself around your brain and you would need surgery as soon as possible

that brings us to here

four months in the hospital and tumour free

except you had to stay there because you needed to receive radiotherapy to make sure the tumour was dead

mark visits everyday

and its around the time he should be coming in-

“yo yo mark lee in the house- wait room?- hospital?”

“i’m a fingers length away from pressing the security button lee” you threatened

he chuckled and walked over to you

“not if i slap it away from you”

“im not paralysed mark i can just get it”

“whatever, you’re no fun” he complained

and you laughed at his whining voice as he climbed in the bed next to you

even though the bed is a single bed, mark would always climb in beside you and cuddle or just enjoy you by his side

“how were the kids today?” you say refering to the dreamies

“they wanted to come and visit with me but i told them no because you didn’t eat today and would probably eat them”

you slap him and shake your head “mark! don’t scare them like that they’re gonna think im mean!”

he just laughs at your poor hit and reaction

you had been introduced to the dreamies when you befriended mark

you and mark called them your kids because they practically were

they did come to visit alot, they instantly took a liking to you because they felt safe in your presence

“you’re ridiculous mark lee, im going to tell the security guards, the next time they see your face make sure not to let you in here”

“yeah okay, whatever y/n. you love me too much to never see me again” he made kissy noises and laughed as you also laughed and pretended to gag

as weeks went on mark kept visiting and so did the dreamies

and you had your regular radiotherapy appointments to kill the tumour

but suddenly your hearing was more sensitive, making you having to tell mark to be more quieter

your headaches came back

your vision was becoming more and more delayed over time

returning from your radiotherapy appointment, you see mark sitting on your bed and you climb in next to him

“heyyy bestfriend, how was your day?” he asks

“oh my god, martin from floor five was singing in around the ward today and i swear to god. i’m not the best singer ever but man that man is tone deaf”

mark laughed and scrunched his nose, the laugh you love so much filling the room you hate so much.

you went on about martin from fifth floors atrocious singing sessions before Dr.Kim came in and smiled at you sweetly

“hello y/n, i come bearing news”

you and mark sit up

“i-i’m afraid its not good either” he frowns at the two giddy smiles he sees before him, they are quickly turned into frowns too

“it’s your tumour, the radiotherapy was going extremely smooth until we hit a lump earlier today, im so sorry. your tumour is back and it would be extremely dangerous to operate.”

that was all it took for you to let out the tears you had built up

you were finally cancer free, a survivor.

until this news hit you like a tonne of weights straight to the side of your head

not only you but the black haired boy sotting on your left

he felt his own pool of tears stream down his face as the doctor walked out

you shook in absolute devastation and shouted

flailing your arms around in hope to release your anger

as mark pulls you close to him, his arms wrapped securely around your waist and your head pressed to his chest

his head lay ontop of yours and he pressed small kisses to your hair as you cried for what seemed like years

he whispers small encouragements into your ear but you knew it was over, and so did he

his voice cracked with every syllable spoken, he truly was terrified.

over the next days mark stayed there with you, you knew it was because he was afraid

everyone was now

it was just one day

when mark had gone to the hospitals cafeteria to get a muffin

you really started to feel sick

you could barely see straight and by the time mark came back

your lips were stained red and pale from where you had coughed up blood just minutes before he walked in

he dropped the muffin and ran to be by your side

immediately handing you tissues and wiping the blood from your chapped lips

“hey, hey it’s okay” he would say as he got up frantically to call for a nurse

“m-mark, don’t. please don’t”

he would be so confused, wanting to get you help as soon as it could arrive

but you were too tired of fighting

you just wanted to spend the next minutes with the person you loved

“w-what? y/n you need to be helped, i-i don’t understand” he would stutter as his eyes welled up and he slowly walked over to your side

he grabs your hand and kisses it softly, scared of you breaking

you shake your head gently and just smile

“just, sing for me mark”

you lay back and turn your head to face him

smiling weakly

he would be so heartbroken

but he knew how much you loved his voice when he sang

how soft it would be

how raw and full of emotion it sounded

so thats what he would do

sing your favourite tune as the tears streamed down his sharp cheekbones

you also crying, never thinking you’d be in this position

after he would finish

he would sob and apologise for not noticing sooner how ill you had become but you just closed your eyes, becoming too weak to keep them open

“m-mark, listen to me. take care of the dreamies for me, let them know i love them and i’ll always be right by their side. and as f-for you mister mark lee, my bestfriend, my whole wide world, the love of my life. p-please look after yourself, acheive your goals and promise me one thing” you open your eyes to look at him

“anything” he responded with a shaky voice and a sob that broke your heart

“continue to grow and love after me, it’s all i ask for. i want you to enjoy your life, even if it’s not for you, do it for me” you smile and then cough violently until you can barely see straight

mark reaches up and strokes your hair as a small sad smile etches itself onto his lips

“i love you y/n, you will forever be my angel. it’s okay, you can rest now. go to sleep y/n, i’ll see you in my dreams yeah?”

your eyes close, for the last time

he kisses your head gently and sobs into your shoulder

squeezing your hand, knowing you had rested

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hannahdearr · 5 years

Text

Bias Tag 🥰

first off lemme just say HOW DARE YOU @tori-yaaaaaaa you know how indecisive I am about basically eVeRYtHinG and you spring this on me, you sadist ):< ♡ + do I even HAVE 10 biases lol wait don’t answer that

Rules: list 10 biases and then answer the following questions.

(I can’t differentiate between hardcore bias wrecking or double/multi-biasing anyways so here we GO)

Jeon JUNGKOOK (BTS)

MARK Tuan (GOT7)

Park JAEhyung (DAY6)

Lee MINHO (Stray Kids)

MoonBIN (ASTRO) or just...Moonbin? lol

Cha EUNWOO / Lee Dongmin (ASTRO)

Kim TAEHYUNG (BTS)

Park JINYOUNG (GOT7)

Min YOONGI (BTS)

Kim ............SEOKJIN (BTS) hahahha

...picking those were already hard, why do you enjoy my suffering dude but! disclaimer: aH I don’t think I have any official say for any of these “better than/best at” types of questions so just saying that these are just my opinions / personal preference if that...wasn’t obvious haha

Between 1 & 4, who would you rather kiss?

I can’t even imagine kissing anybody let alone anyone on this list bUt I just realized cheek kisses count too! so! Jungkook by a land slide, still 🤪

Between 2 & 7, who would be your best friend?

OoH that’s TOUGH, I feel like I’d get along so well with either (‘: sky gliding with Mark or museums with Taehyung aAHH and they’re buddies too—can’t we all just be friends 🙂🙂

Between 5 & 10, who has the better voice?

WOW, another tough one why am I always suffering (-: I’ll go with Jin! His voice is so soothing and tHEM BALLADS—he’s rly developed his skills sooo so much over the years & the songs he does (whether cover or self-made) always make me cry (‘:

Between 1 & 8, who is the funniest?

King of Crackheadery, lil Kookoo, The Memebun™, our one-of-a-kind Justin Seagull, the living AND walking meme himself, Jeon Jungkook (he doesn’t even have to try wtF man I’m: big lovin’ Jungkook 24/7)

Between 6 & 9, who would you date?

Amazing how this game has called me out on my love life experience so many times already—I’d date Yoongi! Haven’t really delved deeper into the Aroha world (meaning I know..but I don’t know) but I can, with full conviction, state that Min Yoongi is not only boyfriend material—he’s also Husband Material™

Between 9 & 10, who would you do a collab with?

NOOO how’d they end up against each other gdi /:< collab with SUGA in a lil vocal/rap wonder or like a whole ballad with Jin 🤯 Probably a collab with Jin tho bc I really love the ballad style he’s got goin on

Between 4 & 8, who is the best dancer?

Oo o my, they’re both really good & I haven’t been up to date with Stray Kids babies lately but I’ll pick Jinyoung 🍑

Between 3 & 5, who would you most likely marry?

Marrying Jae or Moonbin hMm—I know Jae a lot more / longer + homie always comes home to visit here often so I’ll say Jae 🐔

Between 1 & 7, who would you nurse when they’re sick?

How devastating, my original bias & bias wrecker duo HAHA but sorry Tae I’ll tend to you right after Jungkook 😔✊🏼👊🏼

Between 2 & 3, who has the better smile?

Both such beautiful & bright smiles 😍😍 and both coincidentally v local to where I live LOL—I pick Mark tho

Between 6 & 8, who would you rather vacation with?

Eunwoo or Jinyoung hhhhhngjgjsjk—I’m not saying I’m picking Jinyoung bc I’m currently watching his character go Thru It™ in Psychometric rn but that’s exactly what I’m saying so I’ll pick Jinyoung (‘:

10/10 that was d i f f i c u l t for me my dudes bc I’m overly indecisive hA but v fun LOL—you’d like to give this a shot & possibly suffer like me, I’m tagging: @bymoonchild @tori-yaaaaaaa @taesbeach @bbjel @hercosmoscomplex @spicysuga @moreenchiladasplease @arosequartz @mahwdichette @starryeyedgukk @aureumjeon @passingthelights

but you don’t gotta if you don’t wanna! (:

#thanks for tagging!#bias tag #hannahdearr #i went back and forth in composing this post during vacation in my downtime LMAO #it was still v difficult with how long i took whEW #i had fun tho hehe

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spoilersfm · 5 years

Photo

* 𝗽𝘂𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝗶𝗻 𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗲 : violence incited on his buddy boys at a denny’s parking lot? he's On His Way! from his lil cousin's bat mitzvah with a borrowed sword right now. sound equipment bought on sweet ass deals, babey! a bike only used to make a point. that one vine that got you in detention for playing loud on accident in class. a ride at a pier taken one too many times in a row; bleary-eyed and reminiscing of a better time where he didn't straight up moan after that first bong hit. the shocker of an earburn through a movie marathon that you can't say shit to because he's hosting. "let's start a podcast." "i will find your parents." the mole you thought was cancer when you were twelve. . ／ 𝗝𝗢𝗘𝗟 𝗠𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗩𝗔𝗡 𝗗𝗬𝗡𝗘. 𝗘𝗦𝗧. 𝟭𝟵𝟵𝟴

named joel mitchell van dyne. his parents think they’re on some riverdale shite and named his older brother jason and their two dogs jack and jellybean. their names? robert and goddamn barbara van dyne. goes by joel mainly bc fuck else is coming out of that. jole the eternal gag and the one that will get your feelings hurt, mole.

born in jersey city, new jersey. once a minor threat like every other child in the community until he managed to slap on a ankle bracelet and be on house arrest for his fuckshit at sixteen / a feral youth. a juvenile idiot tracking down cars to vandalize right in front of god and everyone because the owner tried to ban him and his brother from a theater in a town nearby. aged twenty one, turns twenty-two in rex manning day april 8. id’s as a cismale with absolutely no rights! bisexual with no preferences / every hole could be a goal. romantically there but it’s usually these random bouts of fuck mode that cease into a solid period of i don’t exist to anyone, not even to myself but we’ll run mallrats about it in the bg of a dark room, stoned and sometimes crying just to cry, in two-days old cum-crusted boxers or stark nude with our hair tied up looking like gollum with a sick bush editing vid essays for cash but it’s fine, he’s fine. studies film at lockwood and is on his way into his third year. wasn’t really his first choice because college wasn’t but he was persuaded - doesn’t regret that shit! resides in peregrines for the sexy wifi situation and later the general comm of it. community crew member / freelance editor for youtubers and local filmmakers. u want ur shite edited or need the hookups around town, he’s there, garbage-humored and broke pay him.

has somewhat of an unknown legacy online that summarizes his presence / made a viral vine that’s basically a 7-secs porn clip but had an audio of guns getting cocked and gunshots over the oh-so-musical sounds of skin and balls slapping and the eventual facial - no one knows he did it and he wasn’t high at the time but that post nut clarity sure was a #moment. "talent" he very clearly misuses. trust issues but don’t we all. a knack for not shutting the fuck up throughout films and it worked for once / what started as ridiculous themed movie marathon parties hosted at the van dyne’s basement two years ago turned into a movie commentary channel on yt named van dyne and friends* ( wc ) ━ think pretty much it type content but less quality; all jokey, lighthearted but passionate hate watches, regular guests of close friends who either love or hate certain movies, genres, etc. hosted by joel and his brother and it’s a fully a hobby he refuses to stress over but managed to have it be a source of income thank god; primary to his freelancing. no actual reason as to why he picked tatiana - his personal onion on her doesn’t count even if it did influence the last decision so it does nvm - a dear friend of his ( wc oh wow look we’ve learned ) got screwed somehow and he was like oh word? say no more baby bitch. a mishandled anxiety disorder if you couldn’t tell by now / been a problem he refused to acknowledge and then he was introduced to oui’d at fifteen ish and that worked until he realized how much he used it to regulate his day to the point where he couldn’t eat at all without getting zooted so it’s less of that now. a liking for the horrific, the horny and the artistically crackheaded and you’d be distraught as to what he personally categorizes as any of each. a jersey accent he couldn’t mask if he tried. a twitter account he barely uses other than to get recs for comm tracks and tweet dumb shit to delete an hour later for the fun of it but he’s fairly active on instagram.

𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗪.

is this chaos? u tell me. is everything actually written? of course not but it only took me a few days and my remaining four brain cells holding on for dear life and begging me to go the f*ck to sleep to get it out there + there’s always time 2 flesh out shite on the side! wcs are still a process for me to list down but i do have a bunch in mind / would love to bounce a few ideas back at ur muses to see what works ! like this post or hmu in the ims or hmu on disco @ clowncore claudia#5377 where i truly shine as a mess xx

#* ━ ━ INTRO : JERSEY CITY STABBING VICTIM SPOILS ENDGAME AT A NIGHT CLUB.#water:intro #tw anxiety #tw disordered eating #is it the bfcu ( bar fight cinematic universe ) ? i wish. drunk dipshits assemble cept he's sober doin this bullshit #ive been up for 24 hrs and for what...#theme coming tmrw since tumblr wants 2 be itself or soon lemme see but ya!

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cloudycrystalkpop · 6 years

Text

EXO as hybrids

Suho (dog hybrid)

• a hard working boy

• works his tail off for the other members

• didn’t ask to be in charge of all these men, but he took on the challenge anyway

• he loves the other guys, but he can get a little tired of dealing with them all the time

• when he gets home, he really just wants to curl up in your arms and relax from his responsibilities

• will want to treat you like royalty bc you are everything in his eyes

• he really just wants to spoil you, and would do anything you ask

• bc the only reward he needs after a long and hard day is to see you smile bc of something he did

• alpha and mother for their little group

• sometimes mothers you as well, just because it’s a habit at this point

• will also naturally take the lead in anything

• if you don’t like this, you’ll have to point it out to him, and he’ll try to stop

• but if you feel comfortable with it, you can kinda just sit back and relax when he’s around

• treats you like a part of his pack, but will bow to your authority.

• you are the only member of his pack who is allowed to tell him what to do

• bc of this, some of the other members see you as some kind of god

Xiumin (cat hybrid)

• the original creator of the cat nap

• loves to sleep. all day, every day

• he can also sleep on anything

• the bed, the couch, the floor, the fireplace, the dining room table

• but little Minseok’s favorite place to nap?

• your lap of course.

• will curl up beside you and let you do whatever, whether you’re watching tv or on your computer, as long as his head is resting against your legs

• he says he likes laying on you lap above everything else because when he can feel you he knows you are safe

• doesn’t worry about you or himself all the time, but he wants you to be safe and comfortable

• he can pick up on your emotions very quickly and will be able to tell if you aren't feeling well

• whether that’s because you’re getting sick, or you’ve had a bad day, or your fighting mental illness

• every now and again, when you’ve had the absolute worst day in a long time, he’ll just sit down in front of you and slowly close your laptop

• and when you ask him what he wants or what he’s doing, he’ll just stare at your for a moment before saying.

• “...spill.”

• and the next thing you know, you’re curled up on his chest with dried tears on your cheeks, his fingers running over your scalp as he softly purrs beneath you

Lay (cat hybrid)

• a big ol’ softy

• this baby wants to be your protector

• nothing's gunna hurt you, your big teddy bear is here!

• asks you to wear his clothes or sweaters bc then you smell like him

• doesn’t like it if you come straight out of the shower and aren't wearing something of his bc you don’t smell right

• how is he supposed to protect you if you don’t have a little bit of his sent on you at all times

• but this is a two way street.

• he will wear whatever you want him to, or what he thinks you’ll like

• likes to wear sweaters and cuddle with you

• bc you’ll snuggle into the soft warmth and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside

• he loves going out to nature parks or local bridges and watching the sunset with you

• he’s always waiting for you as soon as you get home, a warm and gentle aura now surrounds your home

• bc he is your home

• and that’s all he could ever hope to be

• bc you took him in and gave him love and warmth, when he was cold and lonely

• you took him in off the street and he’s forever in debt to you, you protected him, so now he wants to protect you, because,

• you are his home

Baekhyun (cat hybrid)

• oh goodness.

• i hope you have a LOT of patience, bc you are gunna need it

• he’s kinda moody, and,

• a diva.

• wants to be pampered and spoiled

• this doesn’t have to mean expensive things

• not that he doesn’t like those too

• he just wants your attention solely on him

• you are not allowed to spend time with another hybrid

• not without him at least, so Chanyeol can sometimes come over for playdates

• can be a bit of a hypocrite,

• bc he likes befriending other people and hybrids but if he sees you talking to another hybrid on your own, even if they are part of his group,

• he will not be pleased

• he could have a couple reactions to this

• he may just wander over to you two and w h i n e that you pay attention to him instead

• he may go find another cute human and flirt with them to try and make you jealous

• or, occasionally, he may pull you away and assert himself and his dominance over you

• you may need to remind him that you are, in fact, the one he is supposed to listen too

• or you could just lay back and see what he does

Chen (dog hybrid)

• a bit of a troublemaker

• but it’s only in good fun

• loves going out and showing you off

• bc, ‘that’s right everyone, that’s my owner.’

• likes to hide your things sometimes, just to see what you do

• will push your buttons for fun and poke at boundaries

• if you scold him for these things there is a 50/50 chance he’ll take you seriously

• but, if you sit him down, and honestly explain why what he’s doing is (dangerous, infuriating, rude, disrespectful...) he will stop and never do it again

• if he sees that it genuinely does bother you, he’ll apologize and try and make it up to you

• he loves you and he wants you to love him too and to have your approval

• but following the rules and being a ‘good boy’ aren't in his instincts

• he’s also just a little... weird

• like, one day you’ll hear noise in the middle of the night, and you’ll look around for him and he’s not there

• so you carefully make your way into your kitchen, and turn on the light to see him, sitting on the floor, eating peanut butter with a tiny spoon

• he’ll just kinda look up at you, and with a mouth full of peanut butter, the spoon between his lips, and he’ll wave at you, wiggling his eyebrows a little bit

• like he’s just casually saying ‘hello~ fancy seeing you here?’

Chanyeol (dog hybrid)

• an energetic puppy

• he means well but sometimes it becomes a little to much

• can get v shy v soft and v c u t e

• has been known to break things in excitement

• but he feels so bad after and might cry if he thinks you’ll scold him

• wants to help you however he can

• will try to help you cook, but he will probably burn something

• he gets very worried whenever he messes something up,

• this is bc he’s had past owners who couldn’t handle him and mistreated him and abandoned him

• so a small part of him is forever scared, that he causes to much trouble. that he’s to accident prone to deserve to be put up with

• that he is unlovable, and doesn’t deserve to be cared about

• you’ve got to remind him that that is not true

• LOVES to play fetch

• also loves belly rubs and back scratches

• clingy and likes to either sit beside you and rest his head on your (shoulder, arm, legs, knees) or stand behind you and back hug you

• but, he forgets how big he is and knocks things over or trips on things

• will hide his bruises and cuts, bc he’s scared you’ll scold him

• might cry if you call him a ‘good boy’. he only dreams of you saying those words to him

D.O (cat hybrid)

• a smol bean that can and will claw your eyes out

• he is the, looks like a cinnamon roll but will actually kill you, meme

• but if you don’t provoke him, you get to lay witness to his cute side

• and goddamn is he adorable

• a smol fluffy uwu

• gets in moods where he doesn’t really want to be petted or shown physical affections

• but sometimes he’ll lean his head on your shoulder as his way of asking for pets

• but he’s usually neutral on the subject

• likes birds, and bird watching

• you’re not sure if this is bc he thinks they’re pretty, he wants to befriend them, or he wants to play with them

• he is a cat after all

• will cook for you, but only what he wants to eat

• gets tired from dealing with the dogs and Baekhyun and might just curl up on the couch for a cat nap

• you might be able to rest his head on your lap and pet on his ears and hair while he sleeps

• if you get away with it and he doesn’t wake up and push you away, he’ll start to purr softly

• if you keep it up long enough, or you’re really good, he might start to knead on your legs, still purring adorably

Kai (dog hybrid)

• the sweetest boy

• lives to please

• just wants love and kindness

• a cinnamon bun, to good for this world, to pure

• loves going out with you and seeing new places

• will hold your hand and pull you around parks, marveling at nature

• easily enchanted by the simplest of things

• could listen to a creek babble and watch the water run over the rocks in spirals and pools

• he thinks it’s beautiful and fascinating

• very innocent and childlike in his wonder and charms

• but yes, he is very charming

• old people love him, and he likes listening to their stories

• treats everyone with respect and kindness

• but as much as he loves others, he loves you the most

• likes to cuddle with you, and wrap you up in his arms

• loves to play with your hair, or have you play with his

• he also really likes it when you feed him, especially if you made whatever it is you’re giving him

• if he sees you happy, it makes him happy

• tail wags and adoring smiles are always emanating from him whenever you’re around

Sehun (dog hybrid)

• a MOODY bitch

• has been known to talk smack about his members behind their backs

• also whines to you about e v e r y t h i n g

• tells you you’re taking to long

• or complains that you’re rushing him

• but while he’ll tell you everything you’re doing wrong to your face, he never talks about you behind your back

• bc ‘excuse you, that’s my owner and none of your beeswax, now fuck off, bitch.’

• roasts everyone, 24/7

• but mostly, roast you

• so yeah, he’s a little shit

• but he’s your little shit

• will lean on you in public and glare at everyone while whining and growling

• bc he doesn’t want to deal with all these people, he just wants you

• has 0 filter on what he says

• so do not ask for his opinion unless you want his real opinion

• bc he will roast you and that ugly dress your friend bought you and your friend for that matter,

• in front of said friend, with no remorse

• but, you known that he would never ever even think of lying to you.

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