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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Yandere Profile - Link (Legend of Zelda)

ABSOLUTELY YES. MY BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE.

As some of you may know, today is the release date of Skyward Sword HD for Switch!! So I decided to release this one now in honor of that :3

NOTES:

I went towards the idea of a Princess!reader because that just opens the gate for sooooo much potential. I'm leaning heavily towards the ZeLink interactions in BoTW and Skyward Sword just because those games have the most interaction between the two.

Also! This is great bc it gives me the opportunity to explore an idea I've actually had a long time! I've always thought about how many opportunities there have been across the games for Link and Zelda to be kinda like "haha well seeya later" and just... bolt, run away from everything, abandon their roles and responsibilities and all that. Like, if OoT kid Link got her before Ganon did and ran, if SS Link just decided to get her on the bird and bolt before everything went down, if botw Link was just like haha what if we ran away from everything together... jk... unless...?

And final note, Link is a great pick for the very traditional yandere -- sweet and : ) but can snap into darker personas. I really liked writing this bc I tend to have more self centered yans and less of the "worships the ground you walk on" type of yans like I think Link would be, so it's a nice change.

As usual now the nsfw section is divided by a ---- line.

TWs: fem reader, heavily implied Zelda!reader, stalking, murder, very brief mentions of gore/dismemberment of rivals, manipulation, very brief suicide mention, themes of reincarnation (I’ve been told this can be triggering to some people so just in case)

TWs (nsfw section): noncon, somnophilia

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Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 4 Brutality: 8.5 Physical capability: 8 Mental/emotional instability: 7 Restrictiveness: 6 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

The primary trait of Link that any darling -- any person, really -- would notice is that he is, well, quiet. He has always been a man of few words, and really, he often doesn't know exactly what to say. On his own, at a first glance, he really does seem like a gentle, humble spirit, someone who blends into the background pretty well, who isn't particularly prideful or reckless or aggressive.

Which is why, to be honest, he might sort of evade the gaze of most people -- he doesn't stand out. You remember him as the boy that smiled at you now and then, it's a soft, gentle sort of smile, one that you feel conveys nothing but the utmost innocence and contentment with the world. You know he's pretty good at fighting, but doesn't get into fights needlessly, he's accomplished and respected, but has never been the guy everyone is talking about -- he's in the background, against the wall. Never speaking, always looking out, sometimes at the sky, sometimes carefully watching people. Sometimes you see him, gaze blank and tranquil, and wonder what he's thinking about. Whether he's the village boy in the time of Twilight, the trained and honored warrior that slept for many years, the boy that came down from the sky -- you can't help but feel at ease around him, safe, you can't help but find him endearing and pleasant.

Yet, you always seem to notice him. Other people... forget he exists, sometimes, he's so quiet. You never do, for whatever reason.

When he needs to get something across, he prefers to express himself through actions, not words. If you lived in Skyloft, or Ordon village, you might find problems mysteriously solved, work suddenly done that you don't remember doing. That fencepost outside your home that broke has been replaced overnight. A village child went missing and he comes back a few hours later with them in tow. Always humble, never demanding or expecting thanks, he tells you in his quiet voice that he's happy to help you.

And should you ever ask him for anything, he'll drop whatever he's doing to help. Anything for you, he says with a smile, which makes you feel a bit guilty when, honestly, you're not even sure you're remembering his name right.

And yet, sometimes, you feel so at ease around him it seems unnatural. He seems so easy to trust. You feel like you've known him forever. And sometimes you feel... for just a split second, less at ease. You find yourself randomly stiffening at his calm, sweet voice. You find yourself looking around when you're alone, as if you feel someone is there, and for some reason, his face flashes through your mind. Sometimes when he looks at you, you feel sort of cold. It's almost like invoking a memory you don't have, like some kind of learned instinct you can't recall a reason for. But those moments are fleeting, they come and go before you can even process them, replaced by warmth and comfort.

If you do spend time with him, if you find yourself gazing out your window when he's training, the next thing you notice besides him being quiet and sweet is that he's strong. It's almost ironic, how all the other knights or village boys are so aggressive and rowdy all the time, many of them taller or bulkier, and yet, none of them could ever dream of defeating Link. Not one can match his agility, speed, prowess. Such a pleasant, calm person, with so much skill, strength, and power, but that power is so rarely seen exerted. People marvel at his talent, they say it's as if he has the experience of lifetimes and lifetimes of battle in his blood.

And it's why you feel at ease when he's assigned the task of guarding you. His capabilities are unmatched, and yet you'd never fear any harm to you from him. Both of those traits put together make him the best candidate to protect you.

Of course, you do find yourself doing most of the talking. Sometimes you find yourself rambling to fill the silence, and you fear you're annoying him, but when you stop he raises an eyebrow and asks why you got so quiet. Did he do something wrong? He seems to worry about that a lot -- has he done something bad? Has he made you upset? Are you mad? At first you think he's worried about his position security, but after a while you realize he genuinely worries about it.

And when you do continue your ramblings, you're surprised to find he remembers your words -- every little thing you say. Things you don't even remember telling him. He asks you about that relative you mentioned one time, his eyes light up and he walks a bit to the side because look, it's your favorite flower over there, he'll get it for you. It's impressive, really, how he manages to remember such things. He must take his job very seriously.

He does enjoy giving you such things -- he loves giving you gifts. It's usually things he finds, wholesome little things -- makes a crown out of the flowers you like so much, finds something interesting here or there, while he was off-duty he saw something in the markets he thought you'd like and got it for you. You almost feel guilty, it's so constant that he's giving you things.

Sometimes you ask him about himself, you realize he knows so much about you and you so little about him. He blushes, he rubs the back of his head, he insists there's nothing interesting about him, he wouldn't waste your time like that. It takes time to get him out of his shell, but eventually, he tells you this or that, little stories from his life.

Sometimes you take long walks, you like to get out of the stuffy walls and have fun outside, he accompanies you across Hyrule. Sometimes it feels familiar, you pass places you've never been that give you a feeling of nostalgia, deja vu, a sense that you've been here before.

He’s protectiveness incarnated. Insanely so. He can spring to his feet at a moment's notice and deals with anything that comes for you before they can even get close.

It makes you feel safe, but there's something else there. It's a ferocity that is so contrasting to his normal self, different even from the times you've seen him fight as he trains. It's a glint in the eyes, an aggression in his expression, that almost makes him seem like a different person. And it lingers for a moment, once the creature is dead and his sword hand falls to his side, he turns and glances at you to his side, a hand raised to wipe the blood off his face, and for that lingering second, it's still there, his blank expression and wide eyes -- a ferocity so intense it starts to look like bloodlust, chaos, destruction. And then, it's as if you imagined it. Smiling and telling you it's gone now, you're ok. You're glad he's so truly devoted.

In fact, he's so dedicated to his job that he starts... doing it... outside of his job hours...? Well, today he was given the day off, and you were told to stay inside because you didn't have to go out. He comes knocking on your door, says not to be startled if you hear someone outside your door move or shift or anything, but he just wanted to let you know in case. He'll be right here. Keeping watch. So don't worry. You're safe.

And likewise, he was supposed to have a day off when you were supposed to enter the town. You were assigned two other guards to watch you, since it's a special trip, so you're surprised to find just Link waiting for you. He took care of it, he says, he didn't feel right leaving your safety up to someone else, he doesn't trust them. So they agreed to let him take over for today.

All of this said, he doesn't have to grow alongside you, he doesn't have to be the childhood friend, the knight who guards you. He doesn't even have to have met you. Fate works in odd ways like that. There's a sort of inexplicable instant attachment he takes to you, almost as though it's some kind of destined, divinely inspired sort of thing. He would describe it as saying you feel familiar to him.

He's also, notably, prone to a more traditional trope of what you might call humility whiplash. For the most part, he's got that overly humble, worshipping, "I don't deserve to even stand in your presence" sort of mentality. However, although it's rare and requires a lot of wearing down his mental state, if pushed far enough, he can have brief moments where he snaps into more or less the complete opposite -- entitlement, arrogance, aggression, getting mad at you for the behavior he'd normally take with a smile on his face. Thankfully, unlike some yanderes that have a whole snapping episode towards their darling, his are very very brief, usually only a matter of seconds or a single snarled sentence before he snaps back to normal, wide-eyed and apologetic and telling you I don't know what came over me. It’s... a little frightening to say the least, but you blow it off, tell yourself that hey, everyone has moments like that... Right?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

For the most part, he doesn't need it, he can pretty easily cling to your side well enough to be assured of your safety, and he manages to scare off the undesirables not with a glare, but a smile that's just a little too sweet and far too persistent -- it unnerves people. You hear a lot of people say that something about that guy rubs me the wrong way. Or that he gives me goosebumps for some reason. Even the people he scares away themselves can't pinpoint exactly what it is, all they know is that, despite being reputed as kind and quiet (and maybe a little dense), somehow a lot of people agree that something about him puts people at unease, and that's all he needs. Because they stay away from him, and if he’s by your side all the time, that means they stay away from you too. Why keep you trapped when you can just be isolated?

An aware Link is a a unique scenario. One scenario that's rather... interesting to imagine is a Link that defies fate itself, a Link that decides to be selfish in one of those rare snapping moments of his. Perhaps he makes a decision when everything starts going down, when the chaos is beginning, or perhaps he has somehow managed to gain knowledge of the bigger picture at work, the reality of the nature of your existence and his.

Perhaps he begins to think it's unfair. To suffer again and again. To prove himself again and again, and not always even to reap any benefits, to work so hard and yet still -- still -- you slip out of his grasp. He longs for a life with no tribulations, no struggle, no fights to be fought. He begins to feel like it's what he wants the most. He begins to feel like maybe it's what he deserves. So many lifetimes of struggles, if the higher powers won't give him a reward, he'll take it himself.

And perhaps, for all their higher power, not even the great goddesses themselves would have ever predicted it -- humans are ultimately creatures of will. To defy fate and to run away from destiny -- it wouldn't be the first time a human has tried such a thing. Sure, Hyrule may be destroyed. The people may all die. There may be nothing left. But you know what? He's stopped caring. If you're alive and he's alive, tucked away in your little corner of the world where you've found respite, well, that's all he needs. Even if you're on the run from forces that would want to find you, even if the threat of the final third of the triforce owner looms over your head. He'll ignore it, he'll look away.

You'll live a quiet little life together, a happy life without suffering, without quests and enemies, without strife, without worry. That's what he tells you when he steals you away, lifts you out of your bed one night. Says to be quiet, there's danger outside your door, he's rescuing you. You have no reason to not believe him. He waits until things go down, a castle under siege, but rather than taking you to where you're supposed to go, he climbs onto the horse and starts... riding away. It gets further and further into the distance, and you might ask why, what's going on? You have a job to do, he has a battle to be fought. But he says you're going far, far away, someplace you'll be safe.

But what about the divine beasts, the seals, the Twilight, whatever threat runs in this world in this time, what about the threat of Ganon, you ask? He says it doesn't matter anymore. You were doomed to fail, he thinks, it's either stay here and die, or run away. All that matters is you. And he'd like you to feel the same way for him. You will with enough time, don't worry.

He just wants this happy, quiet life with you that he’s been denied time and time again. It’s all he wants. If fate won’t give it to him, he’ll make it happen himself, and carve out the life he is determined to have, defying even the will of higher power.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

He gets it. Really, he does. "Stop following me!" You yell. Well, he understands why you might feel that way, but this is kinda his job. He thinks you're naive. Not that he would ever, ever have a thought that you're imperfect, of course! It's because you're so perfect and pure that you're... less aware of the dangers all around.

He'll let you think you're free, perhaps. He's more than capable of being quiet, quiet is kind of his thing. Watching you from a short distance is easy. Of course, his horse might make a noise, he can't really help that, or he might misstep on a branch or something. And then you turn around and get all mad again. Now you're even more angry. Well, he can also tell your guardians/father, who will encourage you to accept it. You can't help but feel a little bad -- he's just doing his job.

Now, our aware, runaway Link, well, does he really need to keep you restrained? What would you go back to? Certain death, a land destroyed? Sometimes you mention home, and he's quick to remind you that home doesn't exist anymore. His home is where you are. Can't you feel the same way? You found peace here in this little place -- a village far far away. Travelers, you call yourselves. What's the point in going elsewhere? How would you ever survive without him? He's not very good at being subtle or skillful about the psychological manipulation, it's obvious he's trying to scare you into not leaving, but... it still works, because really, he has a point.

He doesn't want to have to use physical restraint, in any case. And for the most part, it's not needed, because one important aspect of your relation is that his job kinda revolves around you (in some incarnations), or, perhaps you live in the same little village, but either way the thing is that his presence does the job well enough -- he's always there, perhaps more so than almost any other yandere. Even when you think you've managed to get away from him for a moment, somehow his face pops up out of nowhere. How he manages to pull it off is a mystery, you swear he manages to find you so well and predict your movements it's inhuman.

But if you really, really pose a problem, a smarter and sneakier darling that somehow manages to keep slipping out of his grasp and running off (you never get away for more than about 20 minutes or so, but nonetheless), you keep trying to run off when he's sleeping (he wakes up in approximately 25 seconds if your presence is absent from the bed, but that's still enough time to run out the front door), every time he turns his head (which isn't often) you're trying to disappear... well, in that case, he can reach a point of deciding more straightforward measures are necessary. He hates to do it, really, at least when he's not yet at a snapping point. But it's for your own good. And he says so, quite apologetically.

But it's not so bad, it's not like you're being chained to a wall or anything. For one, he got leather ties so you'd be more comfortable, but more importantly, as your guardian, he figured the best thing for you to be tied to would be... himself. Think of it like friendship bracelets! It's just... got a 5-foot chain connecting them. This way you can't sneak off at night, and you won't get too far when he's distracted. It's a safety measure.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

He's a learner. At first, it's easy. Honestly, he is a rather naive, gullible boy, sometimes he reminds you of a happy dog with his bright eyes. He likes to believe the best of people, give them the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances, and that goes double for you, who he believes can do no wrong.

And even when you do lie to him, it's still not wrong. You didn't do anything bad. Clearly there has simply been a misunderstanding, and you thought you had to lie. Or perhaps you simply forgot a detail or were confusing something with something else. It wasn't malicious on your end, he knows that.

He's actually significantly smarter than he lets on in practical knowledge, though. Those dungeon puzzles pay off, you know? He's got pattern recognition down. So over time he learns how to distinguish when you're lying to him or attempting to deceive him, and sees through it increasingly well.

And yet, he doesn't really... get mad over it, most of the time. Again, he's just capable of deluding himself into believing there's a reason. He believes so strongly in your goodness that he finds a way to interpret everything you do as out of benevolence. So you snuck out the window and didn't tell him you were going for a walk because you just wanted to get away from his suffocating presence for once? You were just thinking of him. You didn't want to burden him and wanted to give him a break. Well, that's thoughtful, but don't worry, he doesn't need a break. He thinks it's precious you're so considerate of him though!

You don't tell him you were talking to that person, and you lie and say no when he asks, because you don't want him to worry, and because you underestimate how dangerous others can be. He's told you a million times and you don't listen, but that's ok, it's because you're just so pure you see the best in everyone. Everything you do is good.

Because he perceives your lies, he will still work against and around it. He won't confront you on your lies, he'll just make sure to deal with the situation -- you lied about sneaking out, well, he'll just keep watch and be ready to meet you outside next time. You lied about talking to a person, well, he'll just have to make sure they stay away from you instead.

If you're trying to trick him, he just plays along until necessary. Smiles and nods. He gets the suspicion you're planning a break-out when he told you he was leaving to go get something from town... rather than saying so, he just decides, you know what? Why don't you come with him? Oh, you're feeling sick, you tell him it's ok, go without you? Well, he can't leave you alone then! Because you're clearly not and just trying to get him to leave... or, as he says, he can't just leave you alone. He'll go another day.

He's fairly manipulable when it comes to praise and affection. You can easily Pavlov him into certain behaviors or patterns with just the slightest words of praise and affection. He's not a very outwardly expressive person, tends to stay quiet, but you can tell how he feels inside when you give the slightest praise, a hug, a kiss on the cheek -- you can see that soft hint of a smile and tell that inside, he's basically melting, even if it's not obvious to most people. And, much like the lying, he’s honestly often aware of it, but he just can’t help it.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He tries to get you the things that he feels will make you happy. Your happiness is incredibly important to him, and he usually thinks about how any action he plans to take might affect you, spends a lot of time debating choices of things to do or say and try to determine how each one will affect you and choose accordingly.

As such, he goes out of his way to support the things you want to do. Have a hobby? He'll find the best materials available. Want a book or a food? He'll obtain it through some means. Even if procuring it involves a side-quest-y set of mundane tasks or scouring the world for 70 of this and 50 of that to exchange it for the item from an obscure specialist, it's all worth it.

The only thing he just doesn't give up on is the constant vigilance and insistence on being by your side more or less every waking second. And every sleeping second. And just every single moment you're alive. It's for your safety.

This is actually one of the things he can get a little nasty about when it comes to how he deals with it, because he quickly has the bright idea that if you don't get it, he'll make you understand. Of course, he can't actually risk you getting hurt, so he stages it. Allows you to sneak off, or at least think you have, and walk right into the path of those monsters he lured, or the people he hired to intimidate you. Of course, it's only natural that he shows up at the last possible second, right on time to save you. You should expect that, after all, it's his responsibility to protect you, of course fate works out perfectly like this. See, he was right, it's so dangerous, and without him you'd be dead. Hopefully you grasp that now.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

His is mostly related to vigilance. Where are you? Who have you been talking to? Who was that person you were talking with just now? What did they say? He's not nosy. He just cares about you. It’s in the job description. You ought to understand just how much certain bad people would love to find you and hurt you. That's why he has to know.

This isn't our modern world, so there's no phones or tracking devices to speak of, just himself, which, well, might as well be a tracking device since he never seems to have difficulty finding you. Sometimes you're not sure how he does it.

He tells you that you don't have to be with him 24/7, but you will be, even if you don't realize it. He's aware enough to know that you'll feel suffocated and get mad if you're aware of his presence all the time, so he gives you your "alone" time, aka, the "follow her quietly from a 20+ foot distance" time. It all feels the same to you. Well, sometimes you feel eyes on you, but you shake the feeling off as paranoia.

So it's not so much that he sets rules and reacts when they're broken, but rather, he works his way around anything you might do so well that he doesn't need you to follow his rules, or really, you take them more as suggestions. But honestly, that's kind of worse. It's enough to drive a darling to the brink of a mental breakdown very quickly. With Link you will inevitably become paranoid, nervous, you feel like you're going insane because he manages to pop up everywhere, he always knows what you did when you did it and you have no idea how it is even conceivably possible for him to know some of the things that he knows. He confronts you very plainly and quietly, often sweetly, asking why you did this or that or telling you it's ok, you don't have to hide anything, surely there’s a good reason, and if not, he forgives you anyway. In a way, it's worse than an angry confrontation. You begin to feel like he's omnipresent, like he can read your mind, and it truly takes a mental toll and affect you worse than any normal yandere's concept of punishment.

This ultimately works out well in his favor. The more you just do what he wants, the less it feels like a violation or intrusion that he knows these things, since he was there with you, it makes sense, and you continuously get bent to his will.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Ah, and thus we get to that brutality rating.

It would be unthinkable to think that any sort of scum would even dare. Even he isn't worthy of being with you, and someone else thinks they could be? So, he more or less views "rivals" as an offense. When they're threats, well, he's allowed to deal with them. When they're not, well... he has a wonderful reputation. If he says he overheard that person planning usurpation or assassination, that they realized he was listening in and wildly attacked him, everyone will believe him. Even if the death seems a little... non-immediate. And uh... frankly... overkill. How exactly... did those limbs get perfectly severed during equally armed combat? And was it... really necessary... to kinda spill entrails all over like that? He'll apologize, of course, he was just so outraged by the thought of someone hurting you or your family, you know? You notice his eye twitches a bit as he says it.

He has a lot of... bottled up frustrations, which we'll touch on in the nsfw section as well, but it tends to manifest in those two ways: sex and violence. Rather than exerting stress and anger and frustration as it comes, he lets it fester. He tries to maintain being the noble, humble, self-sacrificing person he feels he should be. That is... difficult to do for a long time. People expect a lot from him, even in timelines where he's not necessarily realized as the hero quite yet, he usually has a lot of responsibilities. But then you tack on the whole hero thing? The weight of the world is sometimes, quite literally, on his shoulders. Do you have any idea the kind of stress that comes with that knowledge? It's not pleasant. And it quickly bottles up, a very very fragile bottle set to eventually shatter in a matter of time.

On a longer sort of quest, he just kinda... leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Enemies don't actually just poof out of existence the way they do on-screen, you know. Anyone coming across an area he's just been through is met with literal piles upon piles of corpses, sometimes monsters, but sometimes people. He takes a very scorched earth sort of policy when it comes to dealing with things.

He's able to easily get close to people, with that sweet face and puppy eyes and lithe body, people don't really feel on guard around him nor intimidated. That makes it significantly easier to infiltrate enemy hideouts, earn favors, and work his way in to be able to commit mass murder more easily. Granted, no one thinks too much of it because they *are* truly enemies, after all, they *did* need to be taken out and well, if the rulers can choose to either send a group of ten soldiers or just one guy and get the job done equally well either way, they'll go with the latter option. No one thinks anything of it, except the occasional person who laughs and says something to the effect of remind me to never get on your bad side, haha! He gives that sheepish, sweet little smile, and jokingly tells them that yeah, better not.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

For you, nearly impossible. For others, at a hair trigger.

For the most part, he conceals anger well until, as aforementioned, it bottles up and bursts. The truth is he gets irritated virtually all the time by other people. People who talk to you. Look at you. Smile at you. He’s actually rather easily annoyed even when you’re not involved, but again, he’s good at hiding it until it builds.

His rage has a commonality with his calm -- it's quiet. At least, at first. When it's directed at others, his eyes narrow. It's the telltale sign that someone has ignited his rage. It burns on the inside, it starts off as a spark that builds and builds and grows larger and larger until it's a blazing fire that consumes everything in his path. It's a loss of composure, a rare moment of complete loss of self-control. From his own perspective, it feels like he's not in control of his own body, it's all a blur happening in front of him and when it's over he's looking down at his own hands, unable to process his own actions, sometimes unable to remember them.

But it's violent, merciless, unforgiving. It does not yield to begging, it does not leave anything alive unless forced to. You remember the first time you realized how unnatural it was, how shocked you were at how he did something that certainly went against the code he was sworn to follow, the very first time you felt truly afraid of Link. It was a walk in town -- someone called out to you, spitting obscenities about you and your family, your lineage, threw something at you -- he caught it in his hand and crushed it, and quickly, without a word, advanced on the offender. And, to make a long story short, you had to prevent him from beating a man to death in public in broad daylight. He was forgiven by his superiors, but even they seemed shocked. You had to pull him off, and when he jerked his head around to look at whatever was stopping him -- before his face softened as he recognized your own face -- the split second you saw the burn of hatred and fury in eyes that were normally so soft and loving, was nothing short of unsettling, you still recall the chill that ran down your spine.

And honestly? It's terrifying. And the first time, it's shocking. Sure, you knew he could fight. You've seen him fight off monsters, bokoblins and lizalfos and the like. But something is different about seeing the blood of a human being run down his sword, dripping onto the ground, to see the bodies and the blank, numb gaze on his features he always has after it's over. The absolute lack of hesitancy he has to run human enemies through before they even have a chance to explain themselves, how unbothered he seems by the carnage left in his wake. The way he turns back to you, drenched in red and smiles, tells you it's ok, you're safe now. There's no need to look so scared.

And it changes how you view him, in the long run. Less of a guardian angel, more of a guardian dog, one that defends your name when you never asked him to. Pleads to tell him not to fall on deaf ears -- you just don't understand why it has to be this way, he says, you can't comprehend the threat they posed. From the sweet boy that leaves you flowers and repairs and instead leaves a wave of destruction in his path you would not have thought possible.

Directed towards you, though, it's entirely different. He tries his best to have patience with you, no matter what. He smiles, he tries to make excuses as to why you'd say this or do that, why you'd feel a certain way, and he's rather good at deluding himself to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But when it reaches an end, when he can no longer lie to himself, when you push it to a point that you truly make him mad, it's more of a snap. The times he'll lay hands on you in a truly violent way are rare, and as aforementioned, very brief. It's usually not so much of actually a blow, so much as a grab. He just can't get what he's trying to tell you through your thick head, so he stresses it, trying to make you understand as he grabs you by the upper arms, shaking you with each word, and he only stops when he sees the pain and fear in your eyes, drawing his hands back at lightning speed. He saves you from some danger very narrowly, one of the few times he lost track of you for a moment and had to frantically search before coming across you being attacked. What would I have done if something happened to you? Don't you understand that? He's so lost in the relief it takes him a moment to feel you beating on his arms in the embrace, choking and wheezing that you can't breathe, that his grip is so tight it feels like he'll snap you in half. He draws back again, and he apologizes, but it will certainly happen more than once.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Above. Like, so, so, so far above. He feels like he doesn't even deserve to look at you. Of course, neither does anyone else, so he's just, you know, stepping up to bear the burden of wrongdoing to keep people even worse than him away from you.

So it's less that you're just above him so much as you're above everyone. He's actually, perhaps surprisingly, a little bit of a pessimist about the world. The world is full of so many terrible people and so many horrible things happen that he's borne witness to. It's a "world cold and hard, (y/n) soft and warm" sort of thing. You're the one good thing, the thing that makes him happy, the ultimate source of comfort he has, and he has to prevent you from being defiled by the evil of the world, keep you innocent and sweet (even if he's just deluding himself to think you are those things in the first place).

This ties into, again, how he interprets every action you take as good and benevolent -- he has the "you can do no wrong" mentality. Even very blatantly malicious things, he'll interpret in a way that makes you somehow still come out a perfect, innocent angel. If you do harm to others, well, they simply deserved it. You did something technically wrong, but you knew no better, or you were desperate. You can't be held responsible for any of it. And if you're mean to him, well, he probably did something to make you upset.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Sort of a duality. Yes, he's very persistent. He thinks about it all the time. Every time you yell and try to run and hurl nasty insults at him, it hurts far more than you realize. He doesn't let it show on his face or in his voice, but it really does, and it gets to him sometimes. He's hyper observant of every little thing you do, your body language, your tone, the way you look at him, and the slightest of differences can change his mood internally, although it tends to look the same outwardly.

He makes little mental notes of it -- today she didn't flinch when I touched her shoulder. Today she didn't frown when she saw me coming. Little things like that will make his entire day. Likewise, the inverse kills him inside. He aims to make every day one of the former days, where the littlest signs of acceptance or even kindness and affection give him a sort of high that makes him feel like he's floating.

He tries his best to do things that he thinks will, well, earn love. Every opportunity to do something for you, he takes it. Everything he sees he'd think you'd like, he buys (or steals, or... loots from a dead body) for you. On and on that idea goes. And although he doesn't say too much, when he does speak to you, he usually has something nice to say. He views it in a formulaic way -- ironically, think about it like those collectibles in overworlds. You get enough of this or that thing, and once you have enough, you can go talk to this or that person and donate them all and get a reward, right? He's accustomed to viewing things that way. Love should be the same way. If he just completes enough tasks and gathers enough items, eventually he'll unlock your love.

That being said, even if it doesn't happen, much to your despair, he just... doesn't. Give. Up. He doesn't quit. No matter how many times you tell him, it doesn't make a difference. You can tell him you'll never love him, and it's like it goes in one ear and out the other. He keeps trying. And he never, ever, ever stops trying. What did you expect? The boy's been fighting the same enemy over and over across lifetimes, needless to say his spirit has build up some persistence.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Bonus: Zelda/Triforce of Wisdom Darling

And don't worry. If it all goes wrong, when he fails, those divergences in time where the hero is vanquished and evil wins out -- it's not the end. Somehow, that's the feeling he gets, holding your little lifeless body up, running hands across your cold skin. Somehow, he feels oddly calm. Like it hurts, but it's ok. Like he'll see you again. Maybe not soon, but one day. This time didn't work out. But the next one will.

And that's the feeling you'll always have. Every time you meet him and you feel like you've met before, the lingering memories when you wake from your dreams -- flying through skies and sailing on oceans, a child, an adult, a boy you've never met, or one you've known all your life, but it's always the same face, the same voice, the one right beside you in the waking world. You sometimes wonder if he has the same feelings, the same dreams, the same sense of something greater than yourselves at work, the sense of being just smaller pieces in a much bigger picture.

The sense of permanency, that each other is all there will ever be -- regardless of how it makes you feel, regardless of how that scares you, sometimes you feel like you can never be free. Sometimes, when you think of running away, those dark moments when you think of even escaping from life itself, it feels futile. It's as if you know it would never hold him away forever. As if death is insignificant. Perhaps in this lifetime, you'll become aware of why that is, or perhaps not.

With other obsessive lovers, just the idea of til death do us part is a terrifying thought. But, for Link, not even death can keep him away from you. Your suffering is already determined by the will of higher power, for the sake of a greater good.

In truth, it’s the goddesses who made him this way intentionally -- it’s designed to ensure your safety, even at the cost of your suffering. Again, for a greater good. Sure, you may live one lifetime to the next desperately locked in the same cycle in which your freedom and will is stripped from you, but in the end, it serves a purpose.

Nor will he change -- perhaps this one this time is a bit more spirited, more calm, more pessimistic, more optimistic... but in the end, at their core, they're the same soul, with the same will deep, deep down. The same drive to find you and protect you. The same love for you, an all-consuming love that destroys everything in its path to you and leaves ruin in its wake.

And if fate should one day keep you apart, should things change, for whatever reason, it’s unable to change him. There's another force even more powerful than fate determined to keep you together. The only thing more unavoidable, inevitable, and unescapable than fate, is Link himself.

------------------------------------

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

In moments of passion, he changes a bit, unlike other more submissive yans who stay consistent in their reverence and desire to please.

You see, after a while, being as lenient and tolerant and flexible and completely devoted as he is... constantly self-sacrificing in so many ways, to you, to Hyrule, to the world... some frustrations build up. It's a big, big bottle of emotion, all tucked away and festering, getting greater and greater and eventually it has to explode somehow.

His reservations and inhibitions fall away. Perhaps a darker, more selfish side comes out. Perhaps that's why he's so rough. He knows he'll regret it later, the bruises from how hard he grips, the marks from the bites, but the hormones and the heat takes over. He'll feel bad for defiling you. He'll apologize. And he'll do it again. And again. And again.

But once the resolve crumbles, it topples. That is, he can't partially maintain it -- if it's partially gone, it falls apart completely. He lets go, so to speak. And when he lets go, you find that underneath that carefully constructed resolve and willpower that holds him back, he can be a very, very rough and possessive lover. In his normal state, he wouldn't dare think of you as a possession, or as something he's even worthy of. He would like so, so much to think that, to feel like he's allowed to -- but he doesn't. He chastises himself for even having such a desire. But in those moments, when his resolve is gone and his brain isn't thinking quite too clearly, he might even have to audacity to say "mine." Even if it's not true, not now, maybe it will be. He would like that so much. His and his alone.

And in a moment of clarity, he might even throw away the inhibition on purpose. The more selfish side, the same Link that drags you away from your destiny -- he's already forsaken his responsibilities, hasn't he? Why care anymore about the structures that no longer exist, your status and his, if there's no kingdom left? He likes that it happened, even. This way, this time, you can throw off those titles, those roles. Without your status, your title, there's nothing stopping him from making you his. And you will be his, and nothing more. It's all you need to be. So he doesn't have to care anymore about any of that, he doesn't have to stop himself from going wild. Biting into every little spare patch of skin, covering your body with marks that make him feel comforted to see.

As far as drive it's a bit of a two-sided duality. Outwardly he's not a very sexual person at all, blushes and stutters and averts his gaze at the slightest mention of suggestive topics, tries his best to be Respectful(tm) by always looking away when you're in a compromising position, or your skirt flies up, etc etc. Given how constant his vigilance is, he has a tendency to accidentally walk in on your changing or bathing, except unlike with many yanderes, it's genuinely an accident. Not that the image doesn't stick in his mind, nor does he wish he hadn't gotten to see, but he does feel guilty, and it was genuinely unintentional. He kinda freezes up, so it takes a moment for him to actually snap out of it and run out.

That being said, he quickly develops something of a masturbation addiction when he's younger, it starts as more of a stress reliever than anything, He's so sweet and always feels bad about talking about his problems and feelings, so that and, well, violence are the only ways he can get it out. Thus he learns to channel stress and nerves into sexuality, and once he has a real living body and not just his hand, that dependency on cumming to relieve it doesn't change.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Particularly so, yes, cares quite a bit. And it takes a while for him to feel comfortable. Even consensually, the first few times he touches you for several months, he's got trembling hands and stays quieter than ever, constantly freezes up every time you move or make a noise because he thinks he's done something wrong. He has to be coaxed into feeling more comfortable before he gets used to it, but he will build confidence over time.

As addressed before, though, if he's pushed and pushed and pushed long enough, you can get a darker side to come out. This is most likely something that would only occur post-kidnapping in a distant time, once he's far away from any possibility of consequence and destruction has set in to the world around you. He starts to get a little bitter, if you've been mean to him. It all builds up. Don't you get that he's literally saved your life? That he devoted every waking second to you? Isn't he kinda entitled to some thanks? The cycle of time never rewards him. Even the figures he helps over time rarely give him more than a verbal praise and thanks, maybe an item here or there, and then disappear. His role feels thankless. He starts to feel like he deserves something, something tangible, in return.

Surprisingly, though, he actually does not take the route of guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation or gaslighting his way into it like a lot of the sweeter yanderes when he does have that snap. His snaps/breakdowns are rather extreme in terms of how much of a polar opposite they are to his normal state, rather than just a slight bend of his normal personality. Rather than taking the route of most yanderes like himself, he just gets directly physically forceful. Still somewhat sweet, though, reminds you he loves you, he'd die for you, you're his entire world. You'd argue that doesn't really change the actions, but considering how frightening he is in that state, you're not dumb enough to vocalize that.

The guilt consumes him alive afterwards. Like, immediately afterwards. He's still panting and twitching and buried inside when it sets in. That being said, he doesn't get to stuttering and profusely apologizing, like he does over smaller offenses. It's all done and he can't take it back, so he just kinda collapses and says nothing. He's not the best with words, you know. It's an odd mixture of guilt and, honestly, a bit of satisfaction and relief. It feels like letting go of some self-imposed burden, that feeling of finally surrendering to some deep want, even if it comes with a lot of remorse, the relief of finally letting go does have a good feeling as well... and because of that, it’s another one of those barriers that, once broken, can’t be built up again.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

In all honesty the boy is, for the most part, a fairly gentle and vanilla lover. He doesn't really need anything special to get off -- he's easily excited and cums very very easily too. Just the prospect of getting to stick his dick in you in any capacity is enough to make him nearly burst at the thought honestly.

In general, as aforementioned, he's very very cautious and gentle to a point, but has a tendency to get actually kinda rough once he gets into it. The thing is, the roughness aspect is actually unintentional. He's one of those boys that is a little bit unaware of his own strength, doesn't process exactly how hard and fast he's going. He just gets lost in the feeling, kinda enters a dazed lusty haze where he's less aware of his actions. Doesn't realize he's literally got an iron grip pressing your head down on his dick or into the bed until you start flailing your hands because you can't breathe. Doesn't realize how hard he was gripping until he sees the bruises on your arms and hips later. That sort of deal -- poor thing is just unaware and doesn't have enough blood in his brain to think straight.

Biting

Surprisingly a really big one for him. (Remnants of a past life cycle with some lupine experiences perhaps?) In all seriousness, he could not explain exactly why if asked, it's one of those "I just like it" sort of things. It feels like yet another way to conjoin the two bodies, pulls you close. The marking aspect is also nice. Granted, he feels guilty afterwards, tries to help it heal. He has that same duality where moments ago he was this intimidating beast of a human being, rough and growly and jerking you like you were weightless, and now he's back to this bright eyed softie stuttering while he apologizes.

The guilt is mixed with a bit of enjoyment, though. It's constantly conflicting -- sure, part of him understands it's embarrassing and will help you cover up, but part of him doesn't want to, he wants people to see. Part of him looks at the marks and tells himself internally to never do that again, and part of him sees them and just wants to give you even more. It's a constant internal conflict, poor thing.

As far as a place, he likes the neck and shoulders best, simply because it's the most visible and it's the most passionate ones to create, when your bodies are tightly locked together. That being said, though, he also has a thing for biting at the insides of your thighs. It's another one of those I just like it sort of things.

Sometimes, when you're asleep, or pretending to be, you can feel him trace the bite marks with his fingers, softly running them over the circular pattern, just enough to barely ghost over your flesh.

Somnophilia

It puts him at ease. This one is particularly prevalent towards the beginning of your relationship, before you really know... how he is. He has this image of you as so pure and he couldn't bear the thought of defiling you with his horrible horrible thoughts. The guilt eats away at him for a while, but eventually he just can't hold back, but how could he ever do anything to you and risk consequence? So... the solution he comes up with is waiting until you sleep.

He tests the waters to see how heavy of a sleeper you are. Calls your name at increasing volume, lightly runs his fingers over your hair, pokes your face, whispers in your ear, runs his hands over your arms. Just to see what makes you rustle, if anything, so he knows the limits. If it turns out you're an incredibly light sleeper, well, unfortunately that means he's limited to just jerking off to your sleeping form, but that's ok. Just seeing your soft face and the cute way you breathe, the slightest way your lips open, that's enough for him.

If it turns out you're a heavier sleeper though, well, he tries to fight the temptation, but ends up going further. Slowly climbs onto your bed, careful to make the weight shift as gently as possible. Slowly pulls the covers back. Runs his hands up and down. It's a lot better when he can actually see your body as he jerks off, honestly. If he's feeling particularly risky, he might press your thighs together, feel how soft your skin is to his cock, how nice the squeezing pressure between them is.

He gets easily lost in a haze, though, so he inevitably ends up accidentally cumming on you and has to frantically find a way to lightly dab it up without waking you. He panics quite a bit, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again the very next night.

Overstimulation/Forced Orgasm

It just means he's doing a good job, really. Sure, you squeal and kick your feet back and forth and tug at his hair, but that's just because it feels good. Orgasms equate to love and feel good, right? Sure there's a little bit of pain when you go overboard, but then it just leads to feeling even better, right?

It's kind of an irrational compulsion rather than a logical goal, though. He just has an impulsive need to feel you quiver and spasm and clench, it basically gives him a chemical high hit and a wave of reassurance, makes him feel good in both the physical sense and the emotional sense. The first one sends him into this compulsive need to feel it over and over and over again, as many times as he can. It's another one of his internal conflict things -- sure, he knows it's hurting, but he just has to get one more. Just one more. But of course, every time turns into "just one more" when he's been saying that for half an hour now.

And, to be honest, it kind of gives him a pride boost to think he can make you cum against your will. How many people struggle to achieve that even when both parties are trying? It makes him feel good in an adequacy sort of way, he feels needed.

Size Kink/Distension

You know, there's a well-known thing among the male-lovers in this world when it comes to size. It's never the arrogant, loud guys, it's never the social butterflies, it's never the tall guys, it's never the beefy muscly guys. No, they're not the ones that end up somehow bestowed with absolute monster cocks. It's always the soft, lean boys who don't talk much. And they're always painfully unaware of it, too.

He's no exception. Not to the size or the complete lack of awareness. He hasn't spent a lot of time around guys his age too much, he's always been the one sent for some special task and ends up out in the wilderness by himself on journeys, or, in some lifetimes, accompanying you most of the time. He doesn't know what the average dick looks like, so he has no idea he's far above average.

This might sound like a plus, and of course in some ways it is, but also he doesn't think about the fact that the average body isn't properly equipped to handle it. You're supposed to just kinda put it in, that's how the sex works, right? Poor thing, especially if it's entirely consensual sex, he's just kinda ???? because why are you in pain? What is he doing wrong? You have to eventually explain it's literally just his body, not something he's doing.

That being said, naturally, he's a humble person, but hearing you say that does kinda... make him feel good inside. A little bit proud. He's not a person who takes a lot of pride in many things, so he likes having this one thing, and quickly notices you can visibly see it through the bulge it makes in your stomach. Especially if it's in a position where your back is pressed to his front, every little movement creates the bulge, so expect to get a lot of that.

He doesn't really bring it up much or talk about it when he's actually fucking you, it's more like, as with many things, something he's quietly aware of and silently enjoys a lot internally, even if it's not voiced.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Yes and no. It has to do with his overactive protection instinct. What if something happened or went wrong? He couldn't take that. He couldn't lose you.

At the same time, he likes kids, and he's very good with them, very patient. And over time, realizes that a kid would be the perfect tool of manipulation, and besides that, isn't it a beautiful thing, an ultimate manifestation of love?

So how to work around that... Ultimately, what he decides to do is have a kid... Just not by blood. There are plenty of orphans in Hyrule, wandering the streets and the wilderness, picking one up is easy. ...You wouldn't leave this poor child to suffer out there, to fend for themselves, would you? Nor would you leave him to take care of it by himself... Right?

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Oh, it's not like he thinks of it that way. He would call it... a reminder. You put yourself in danger again? You tried to go back again? You were gone and for ten whole minutes he didn't know where you were? What could the solution to this issue be? The only thing his brain can really come up with is making sure you need him. Making sure you're content and satisfied here with him so you don't go running off.

Thus we return to the forced orgasm thing -- see, you do need him. It feels good, right? You say it hurts, and maybe it does a little, but ultimately you wouldn't be cumming if it wasn't good. No one else can ever do that. No one else knows you like this. No one else was made for you like this. You can't replace him. You need him. And he can keep going as many times as it takes until you see that, too. Even if he gets milked dry, he has a mouth and hands for a reason.

And by "until you see that," I mean until you say it. In his more... emotionally intense moments, he gets a bit insistent. He needs to hear you say it. Admit it to yourself. And to him. That you need him, that you depend on him, that you'll never leave again. And don't think your patience and tolerance can stand a chance of outlasting his -- it will keep going until you say it.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

He's one of those wholesome type of boys who goes with something sweet. He says maybe your hair, your face, your skin, your eyes. It's all so comforting. So familiar. Of course, not to say that he doesn't like your less wholesome mentionable parts, but he wants to be chivalric about such a question, and feels answering that way would be too disrespectful.

In his unspoken thoughts, though, he likes the hips. It's a part of you he can grab onto and hold you close with. He puts his hands there a lot and holds tight, like he feels like at any moment you could slip out of his grasp. And, I mean, it's nice to look at, can't forget that.

#atml #scheduled post #yandere x reader #yandere legend of zelda #yandere link

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Nobody Left Behind

Prompt: So I don't know if you're taking requests? But I just watched Lilo and Stitch for the first time since I got into TSS and I've adopted the headcanon that it is Remus's *favorite* movie (and he's memorized the script) and I love your writing and I'd love to see something angsty involving Remus feeling lonely/unloved by his brother, and maybe Lilo and Stitch is involved somehow. IDK, go wild. (and feel free to ignore this if you aren't taking requests) <3 - anon

it is Le Fluff™ hours my good bitches

Read on Ao3

Warnings: Remus has some abandonment issues, but it’s not too much

Pairings: it is platonic all the way down, babes

Word Count: 2935

Ohana means family.

Family.

FamILY.

What a weird word.

Sometimes it’s the people you’re born with. Well, not ‘with,’ not necessarily, but the people you are born to. A mother, a father, a sister, a brother. Sometimes two mothers, sometimes two fathers, sometimes a different parent. Sometimes two sisters, sometimes two brothers, sometimes a different sibling. Sometimes a mess of assorted people that all share the same blood. A family.

Remus wasn’t born.

He was made though, crafted and shaped and born out of the swirling chaos of a child’s mind that didn’t understand the world well enough without other people to help. He remembers getting cobbled together from scraps of thoughts and feelings and morphing them into limbs, into features, into something that vaguely resembled the body of the child he was made to fit. Not the ‘fitting’ was ever his job.

Just his brother’s.

Is his brother his family?

By all accounts he should be, right? A brother is one of those people that are traditionally part of the ‘family’ group, right, someone to laugh with, cry with, fight with, live with. But is Roman really his…brother?

That’s what they decided to call themselves because nothing else worked. They weren’t really brothers, they were halves. But they weren’t really halves because there was never a whole to begin with.

The King wasn’t a ‘whole,’ he was…well, he was the King. Half of a king is not a prince. Half of a king is not a duke.

Half of a king is a mess of blood and bones and viscera dripping off of the end of a Morningstar in the middle of the night when only a destroyed facsimile makes the insanity bleed away just enough to breathe again.

The closest thing to twins, is what they decided on eventually. They’re twins. One light, one dark. One that marches boldly into danger to confront the wickedness of the world, one that dwells in the shadows and cackles with the demons nipping at his heels. One that loves, one that isn’t loved.

Sure, they had some things in common. They both loved to fight, hence the scars and the bruises and the wounds that would never, ever heal, the distrust that would never be fixed ever, because the urge to sink their teeth into each other’s necks and rip never went away. They both loved to make, Roman the peaceful lies he tells himself to make up for the gaping wounds Remus leaves as he carves his perfectly tailored destruction. They both love Disney.

Roman’s made it part of his whole deal as the Prince, he loves Disney. He bursts into song every chance he gets, drags the others in until the Mindscape rings with joyful song and there’s nowhere left for any sadness or darkness. He takes his lessons from it, models himself using the traits of the characters he admires most. Cultivates his art of storytelling, perfect to a tee.

Remus loves Disney too. Loves how easy it is to twist the lens to distort the image just enough to let the darker parts of the Imagination run wild. What is the real implication of never growing old, never understanding what it means to die? What kind of person curses a ten-year-old boy for being cautious about who he answers the door to? What could the story have been if the prince never comes to save the day?

When they were smaller it was fine. When they were still getting used to the fact that they weren’t King anymore, they used to sit and watch so many Disney movies. Roman’s favorite was always changing, one week it was Beauty and the Beast, then it was Mulan, then it was Cinderella, it never stayed the same.

Remus’s was always Lilo and Stitch.

Roman never understood it, said it was boring, there wasn’t a prince, there wasn’t anything exciting. Remus said that aliens were plenty exciting, thank you very much.

But they would always watch it. The King wasn’t there anymore, but the prince and the Duke were.

…when they were smaller, there was one time where the prince wasn’t there at all.

Remus remembers waking up one day and feeling like he was being Split all over again. The maggots in his bones reached their awful little mouths into his heart and pulled, yanking him all the way across the bed and to the door, howling and screaming for his twin.

Only to be met with a blank wall.

He remembers howling at the top of his lungs until Janus had rushed to his side, kneeling down next to him and telling him shh, be quiet, hush now, you’re alright, you’re not hurt. And when he couldn’t explain that he was hurt, half of him was missing, Remus needed to go find him, Janus’s mouth had hardened into a thin line and told him that there wasn’t anything to worry about.

He remembers thinking that was a lie.

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t a lie.

Roman was fine.

Roman was more than fine, because Roman had a family.

Roman had Patton, who is the actual manifestation of sunshine and rainbows and loved so much it almost burns. The darkness that wrapped around Remus’s corner of the Imagination screeched and hissed at the very idea of being loved that much, even as part of him strained with all its might to get to it. But Patton would never set foot near this side of the Mindscape.

Roman had Logan, who represents everything true about the Mindscape, about Thomas, about the world. The reality of things that would never let anything Remus created make it anywhere close to anything important because it was dangerous, it was hurtful, and it was wrong. Logan wouldn’t want anything to do with something so useless.

And that was okay. Because Roman may have been gone but Remus wasn’t alone. Remus had Virgil, who lived with fear soaking every fiber of his being. Remus had Janus, who wrapped himself in darkness and obscurity and laughed.

But then Virgil left. And now Roman had Virgil, who used Thomas’s anxieties to keep him safe, to help Roman and the others figure out what to do, how to take care of everybody, and how to make the darkness go away. And Virgil would never willingly sink himself back into the darkness when he’d spent so long clawing himself out of it.

But that was okay, because Remus had Janus. Janus, who plotted and schemed and smirked at how easily the others were pulled along by his strings, luring them deeper and deeper as Remus readied his Morningstar for the trap to be sprung.

But then they sprung the trap and everything went wrong.

Roman didn’t want to fight. He just…he let Remus knock him out and didn’t show up again except to scoff and say he didn’t like him.

And that was…wrong.

Because Roman wasn’t supposed to like him but he was never only supposed to not like him. Roman was supposed to declare that he wasn’t welcome and try and slash him with his sword. Roman was supposed to try and banish him from the Mindscape and spit insults at him until he left, cackling all the while. Roman was supposed to hate him.

But Roman didn’t hate him, he just…he just said he didn’t like him.

But that was okay, because Janus could just come up with a better plan with him this time. They could do it properly, and Roman would hate him again and it would be back to normal.

But then Janus left. And now Roman has Janus, who keeps his eyes where the prince’s aren’t, when he can’t see what’s happening or he can’t bear to look, to help Roman figure out what to do when what seems to be happening isn’t anything that the prince is used to dealing with. And Janus would never willingly step away from a place that finally accepted him.

Roman has them now. Roman has people that chose him. Roman’s family chose him. He chose them. They chose each other.

Remus’s grip on his Morningstar slackens and the thing falls to the ground with a heavy clunk. He moves numbly through his room until he can fall to his knees on his bed.

He just came from the living room. They were all there. Roman was talking with Logan, ranting about some new show they were both watching. Janus was in the kitchen with Patton, making something for dinner that everyone—well, almost everyone—could eat. Virgil was on the back of the couch, reaching out for Roman’s shoulder every once in a while.

Remus had waited behind the couch. For someone to sit down, for someone to see him and shriek, or even maybe—just maybe—for someone to ask where he was.

But no.

Patton had come over and gently ruffled Virgil’s hair, saying that dinner was ready. Logan and Roman had moved into the kitchen, demanding Janus’s attention and pulling him into their conversation. Virgil had murmured a quiet thank you and Roman had asked him for what?

“Y’know,” Virgil had said, “for…this.”

“Of course,” Roman had laughed, the soft rustle of fabric as he probably pulled the emo in for a hug—what did those feel like?— “I should be thanking you?”

“What for, kiddo?”

“I dunno, it just…feels like it’s been forever since we’ve all sat down for dinner together.”

Remus’s chest had started to hurt.

“The whole family.”

The whole family.

Remus’s eyes well up with stubborn tears and he angrily swipes them away, baring his teeth at the memory and focusing intently on the things on the bed. Each hand-stitched, each carefully kept clean.

His family.

He reaches out with a shaking hand and tucks the blue frog plushie into the crook of his arm, crawling into the middle of the bed and balancing the purple spider on his shoulder. His hands keep shaking as he wraps the long yellow snake securely around his neck, clutching the head under his chin and nuzzling it protectively. The dark blue cat he holds in his other hand, careful not to tear its tie as he scrunches in on himself.

Wait.

Where is it?

No, no, no, no—

Remus growls, placing all of his family gently on the floor before all but tearing at his sheets. Where is it, where is it, where is it—his heartbeat starts to rise as his search grows more frantic, where is it, where is it—

The slightest little puff of red hair and he howls, lunging for it and sweeping it into his lap. He pauses to make sure the lion’s crown didn’t fall off and sighs when he sees it still in place. He sets the lion between his legs and leans over, adjusting everyone back into place and scrunching himself into a ball again. He rubs his nose against the lion’s fur and nuzzles into the soft fabric.

He’d never be able to forgive himself if he lost them.

Because Ohana means family.

Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

——————————————————

There’s a knock on his door.

Why is someone knocking on his door?

They knock again.

Remus looks up, carefully butting the spider out of the way with his head and sitting up. The snake hangs off his shoulder and he lets it, only missing its warmth once the knock sounds again.

The frog and the cat watch him warily as he climbs out of bed, the lion clutched in his hand.

The door squeaks slightly as he opens it.

“So, I’ve got popcorn, I found the weird gummy snakes, and they had this chocolate-covered bacon which we have to try—Remus?”

Roman?

Roman stands there, his arms full of snacks and blankets, his head tilted. He glances behind Remus—probably to check something or other—and then back at him.

“Remus? Are you okay?”

“Why are you here?” Roman doesn’t like him.

“It’s movie night, Re, of course, I’m here.” Roman chuckles nervously before taking in his tear-stained face. “Hey, Re, what’s going on? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

Why is Roman here? Roman has his family, what is he doing here? With Remus?

“Remus—“ oh, right, Roman’s talking to him—why is Roman talking to him?—in a soft voice now— “Remus, hey, look at me.”

Remus blinks. Oh. Roman looks concerned now, he’s reaching for him.

“Hey,” he murmurs as he ruffles Remus’s hair, “what’s going on? Have you been crying?”

Remus nods dumbly.

“I’m sorry, Re, can I help?”

Help? Why does Roman want to help?

Oh, he’s waiting for an answer.

“…sure.”

“Thank you,” Roman says softly, “can I come in?”

Remus steps aside wordlessly and Roman walks in, pausing when he sees the rest of Remus’s family on the bed.

“Did you make them?”

Something dark twists in Remus’s chest as he sees Roman reach for the spider.

“Don’t.”

Roman backs off, stepping back as Remus snatches up his family and cradles them in his lap, glaring at Roman and curling up on the bed.

“I won’t, Re, I’m sorry,” Roman says, still speaking softly, “can I sit?”

“…floor.”

Roman sits on the floor, setting aside the blankets and snacks, looking up at him. He still looks concerned. Why? Roman doesn’t like him.

“Why weren’t you at dinner,” he asks gently, “I was worried.”

Worried? About him? Remus snorts.

“You had your whole family there,” he spits, “why would you worry?”

“But you weren’t there,” Roman says like that makes any difference, “so I was worried.”

Remus shakes his head. Roman doesn’t get it. Roman doesn’t worry about him, he worries about other things. But if Roman wants to know why he wasn’t at dinner, he’ll tell him.

“I was with my family.”

Roman’s brow furrows as he glances around again. “…your family?”

Remus huddles protectively around his family. “Yes. My family.”

Roman’s eyes widen as he takes in Remus’s posture and how he reacted when Roman asked about them earlier.

“…are they your family, Remus?”

“Yes.” He holds them tighter. “I chose them. They won’t leave me. They won’t forget me. That’s what family means.”

Something crosses Roman’s face and he lets out a wounded noise. Wait. Are they fighting?

“Wait, Remus,” he murmurs, rising up to his knees, “did you—did you think we forgot you?”

“You did forget me.”

“I’m sorry, Remus, I would’ve come to look for you, but I thought—“ Roman shakes his head— “no, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should’ve come got you, Re, I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean to leave you behind.”

Oh.

“…you didn’t?”

Roman shakes his head furiously. “No, Remus, I promise. I never meant to leave you.”

“But everybody leaves me.”

If possible, Roman’s eyes are now wider and he scrambles for the edge of the bed. “What do you mean, Remus, what do you mean everybody leaves you?”

“You left. Virgil left. Janus left. Everybody left.” The lion’s mane brushes against his lips as he bows his head. “But not them. They won’t leave me.”

“Oh, Remus—“

Something big lunges at him and Remus whimpers, he doesn’t have his Morningstar, he doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t—he doesn’t—

What’s happening? He feels warm and he’s being squished and Roman is pressing himself against him and what—what—

“What’re you doing?”

“It’s a hug, Remus,” comes Roman’s voice, slightly muffled, from over his shoulder, “I’m hugging you.”

Oh.

“R-Ro?”

“Yeah, Re, I’m here, I’m right here, I won’t forget you, I won’t leave you behind, you’re my brother, you’re my family, I choose you.” Roman’s grip tightens on him and Remus just about gasps. “I choose you and I want you and I like you.”

Roman…Roman likes him?

Roman chooses him?

Roman won’t…leave?

“No, Remus,” Roman promises as he cautiously asks, “I won’t leave. Not unless you want me to.”

“No.”

“Then I’m not going anywhere.”

That’s it.

Remus throws his arms around his twin and sobs, cries an entire ocean of tears into his brother’s shoulder because he’s here and he cares and he chose Remus. The darkness shudders as that small part of him surges forward, into Roman’s chest, finding a home in the prince’s heart and languishing in the warmth there.

“I’m right here, Re,” Roman murmurs, stroking up and down his back, “right here, I’ve got you.”

The snake drapes itself cautiously over Roman’s shoulder, the spider taking up watch on his knee. The cat and the frog stare at him, making sure he isn’t lying, that he won’t change his mind. The lion, sandwiched between them, feels the reassuring rumble from Roman’s chest and purrs.

After a long, long time, Remus pulls back a little and scuffs a hand over his nose.

“…did you say something about chocolate-covered bacon?”

Roman’s smile lights up.

“Let’s put on Lilo and Stitch and we’ll try it.”

Ohana means family.

Family means no one gets left behind.

Or forgotten.

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forever-rogue · 3 years

Note

1&7 from list 3

The Mandalorian

Love your writing like a guilty pleasure.

“(Name)! Open the door! & “Tell me I’m wrong.”

It started angsty but ended soft 🥺💕

Din Djarin x Fem!Reader ; warnings: pregnancy

The Mandalorian Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

You paced the room back and forth, trying to hold back your tears as you quickly tried to think of a plan - a what the kriff do I do now plan. Pausing, you stared out the window, slowly approaching the warm sunlight that was streaming in. It was peaceful - here on Sorgan - but you felt anything but that peace within your heart. A small sigh escaped your lips as leaned on the ledge and looked out the window. The sound of children playing and laughing met your ears and caused a panging in your heart. Your hand drifted to the ever so slight swell of your belly as you let out a heavy sigh; it wasn’t noticeable yet, at least not to the untrained eye, but soon it would be.

You were never alone anymore, not with the small bean inside of you, but you’d never felt more alone than this.

You missed him - your small adopted son that had gone away with the Jedi. You’d mourned his absence for a long time, despite the fact that you knew you’d be reunited with him again one day. This was for the best- this had always been the ending and you’d known it. It hadn’t made letting him go any easier.

You missed Din too. Things hadn’t been the same since he’d parted ways with his son. You knew it would be hard, as had he, but neither of you expected it would be quite this difficult. He hadn’t been the same since, retreating further and further into himself and always from you. Watching your riduur become so reclusive and quiet was enough to break your heart, and despite your best efforts, it seemed like he was never going to snap out of it.

You had tried your best to make sure he knew he was loved, that Grogu was loved too and that he would be okay, and that one day your family would be reunited. You were sure of it; Grogu might have been gone, but it wasn’t forever only temporary. But it hadn’t seemed to matter to Din either way.

He was in a perpetual state of just existing, and you’d dragged him here, back to Sorgan, a place he loved and found comforting, in an attempt to make him feel better. Maybe a getaway from everything would do him so good.

“What is your plan now? You can’t keep hiding away and shutting the world out, Mandalorian.” you had stilled at Omera’s words, frozen as you wondered what your riduur would say; it was clearly a private conversation, and you knew you should walk away, but found yourself unable.

“I don’t know,” he admitted quietly, “but I know I’m going on by myself. I can’t have anyone around me anymore. It does them no good.”

“What of your wife?” Omera seemed as surprised as you felt, and almost gave yourself away when a small sound of surprise left your lips, “and your unborn child? Surely you would not abandon them.”

“My wife will be much better off without me - she’s never needed me. It’s always been the other way around,” he sighed, “she will get over me and find another. There is no child - it is not a concern.”

“And if there was?” despite not having told Omera about your recently discovered pregnancy, she must have put the pieces together. She was a mother as well after all.

“They would both be better off without me,” he insisted, “once we leave this place, I will ensure her safety and then I will make my own way.”

“That is as selfish as it is cruel,” the woman scoffed at him, “this is not the time to be a hero or a coward, or whatever you want to call it. She is your wife, she loves you more than anything, and yet you want to run simply because you’re scared.”

“It is…”

But you’d heard enough, feeling sick to your stomach as you turned on your heel and ran away, making a loud sound as you almost tripped over your feet. They surely knew you were there now.

“Cyare-” you heard Din call after you as you kept running, running, running. Just like he planned to do.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“We’ll figure it out little one,” you whispered gently to your small bump, “even if it’s just the two of us. We’ll be okay - I will always protect you.”

“Cyare! Open the door!” Din’s voice was loud as he knocked on the door once he realized it was locked. You froze in fear before wiping away your tears and squaring your shoulders, “kriff, open the damned door. We need to talk.”

“Go away,” you sighed at him, feeling anything but in the mood to do this right now, “please just leave. What does it matter anyway? You were just going to do that anyway.”

“Don’t do this,” he said softly as you scoffed, “please let me explain. Please talk to me.”

“I heard what you said to Omera,” you told him, venom lacing your every word, “so you might as well just leave. That’s what you wanted, right? Tell me I’m wrong, Din. Tell me.”

“Open the door so we can talk,” he sounded almost defeated, and while you wanted to shut him out and have him feel the same hurt you had been experiencing, you wouldn’t - and couldn’t do that to him, “please, Cyare.”

Wordlessly, you walked to the door and slowly opened it, and turned around, your back to him. He quickly shut the door behind him, and within seconds, the beskar helmet was off and set on the table as he reached out for you. It was hard to contain your tears as you found him looking back at you with the same expression.

“You hurt me Din,” you finally managed to say after a few moments, not even fighting back the tears that had rolled down your cheeks, “and I know things have been hard, very hard for you, for us, but I’ve been trying and trying to get you to understand how much I love you and that we will be alright. But nothing seems to be working, and you just shut me out completely. I love you, Din, you’re my husband, my friend, my partner, but I don’t know what to do at this point.”

“I know,” he admitted as he hung his head in defeat, “I know I have not been good to you lately. With...everything that happened...it hurt me more than I thought it would.”

“And it’s okay to hurt,” you reminded him, “I’ve told you, and you’re not the only hurting. It hurt me too, and to see you like this hurts me too. But it will be okay - we will be okay. We’ll have our son again, and until then we have each other. I will always love, and nothing will change that.”

“I just...I don’t want to have something like this happen to you too,” he was sniffling now and despite the hurt and pain you were feeling, you reached up and put your hand on his cheek, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

“And yet you were so ready to just up and leave me.” you laughed at lightly, understanding his internal dilemma, despite how much you wanted to be mad, “you should have just talked to me, Din.”

“I know,” he agreed, “I just...want to keep you safe. Always. You are the most important thing to me. I should have told you from the start…”

“Yeah,” you laughed lightly through your tears as he offered a pathetic little smile, “we can talk about anything, you know that. Always - the good and the bad. We’re in this together for life. Silly husband...you know where I’m safest, right?”

“Hmm?”

“At your side, with you,” you reminded him, “together we’re unstoppable and we can do anything. Look at all we’ve done so far, and we have so many things left to do. Together.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t just listen to you in the first place,” he took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before pressing a kiss to your knuckles, “I just...I got scared and I didn’t know if you’d…”

“Nothing can ever change how much I love you,” you reminded him, “nothing. You have me always. Through all the hard time and easy times, and everything in between. You are a good man, Din Djarin, and you’ve always done the right thing, even if it’s not easy. What we did was what we had to do, but it won’t always be like this, we both know that. I know it still hurts though but it will get easier. We know he’s in a good place, and when we see him again it will be like no time has passed.”

“I love you,” he whispered softly before he completely broke and pulled you into his warms, wrapping them tightly around you. It didn’t take more than a moment for you to respond in kind, holding him tightly as you pressed a few kisses to the side of his head, “thank you for not giving up on me. I know I’m not always the easiest man to deal with.”

“No, you are not,” you agreed, “but I love you beyond measure, just as you love me. I will never give up on you. You know that.”

“I do,” he promised as he pulled back and held your face in his hands before kissing you gently, letting his lips linger against yours, “I’ve always known that, even if I apparently didn’t realize it.”

“Silly husband,” you beamed at him. It was at that moment, seeing the soft look in those brown eyes that you adored that you decided to share your secret with him, “there’s one more thing, Din Djarin.”

“Hmm?” he hummed as you ghosted your lips over his.

“It’s not just me that adores you to the ends of the galaxy,” you gently took one of his hands and placed it on the small swell of your belly, “it’s the two of us.”

His eyes practically lit up at your words and the small bump he could feel. He looked at you, silently asking if it was real as you nodded. Unable to stop himself, he kissed you deeply, taking a moment to soak it all in, “we’re having a baby...us...we…”

“Yes,” you confirmed with a teary smile of your own, “we’re having a baby. And you know what else - this baby and I love you very, very much.”

“I love you,” he agreed, “a clan of three…”

“No,” you shook your head with a wistful smile as he realized what you meant, “a clan of four. Grogu will always be our son too, Din. He knows that too.”

“A clan of four,” he repeated as he squeezed you tightly, “I love you all so much.”

“And we love you, Din Djarin. Always."

»»————-　♡　————-««

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

Make Me Stay ~ Changbin [M] [Request]

WORD COUNT: 20.5K (As of this moment the longest imagine on my account….whoops)

GENRE: Non Idol Au, Mechanic Changbin, slow burn(first time doing slow burn fics) Smut, fluffy, SMUT, cute fluff lil angst, hapyy ending

PAIRING: Mechanic Changbin x Fem!Reader

The sun from the sunset was beaming down through the windshield of your 1967 Volkswagen beetle causing you to squint as you continued driving down the old dirt road. The sun setting was always so bright and in your face, it made it hard to see anything going on around you. The sat nav on your phone had convinced you that this was the right way but it didn't seem like it at all. There were no buildings around for miles. Just trees, bushes and more trees, a serial killer's favourite place to be hiding out.

"Stupid thing," You mumbled as you pulled up towards a huge gate that looked like it lead onto the private property in front of you, you hissed punching in a new address into your phone. All you were trying to do was get into the city, you'd been doing a huge road trip alone, exploring Korean since you'd lived there most of your life and hadn't explored much. Many people told you not to be "stupid" that it could be dangerous all alone, not to mention lonely or boring but so far you'd enjoyed all of your time. You'd managed to do a lot of sightseeing on your way around the places you'd been, you'd gotten to do a lot of things you wouldn't normally do if you were with friends. The drive had given you space to think over things in your life, it gave you the time to think over everything that was waiting for you back at home...Which was a whole lot of nothing since you'd basically worked in a dead-end job for the last 6 years of your life in order to take this trip. Busan was the third to last place on your list to tick off and so far you hadn't even gotten into the town yet, you were right on the outskirts, the middle of nowhere surrounded by trees and a whole lot of nothing.

"Don't! Don't you dare!" You cried out as your car began to judder forward when you were driving down the back dirt roads, smoke coming from the back of it where the engine was. You wanted to scream out but you held it in thinking it was probably nothing, smoke normally meant that the old engine was just overheating itself. It was perfectly normal.

"No!" You whined out to yourself as you pulled into a small layby near some trees, praying to yourself it would just be the heat. There was nothing around you for miles thanks to the shoddy GPS system on your phone you would have thrown the thing out if it wasn't the only way you would get out of this situation.

Kicking the wheel of your car as you walked to the back of the car to check out what was wrong with the engine if it was the radiators you could fix the issue yourself. It did it occasionally, well more than occasionally, overheat. It would do it every day to the point where you had to carry around water in huge cartons just to make sure you could look after it. As soon as you opened the boot of the car you were met with smoke to the face and you groaned looking inside, you weren't a mechanic but you already knew it didn't look good. There was oil splotched all over the place and bubbling out of the oil dip, something looked as though it was snapped and there was a major stench coming from the engine yourself.

"So much for an easy fix." You mumbled slamming the boot shut and groaning at the thought of being stuck out in the middle of nowhere with nowhere to go. The private land was about four miles away and you knew there was nothing around you for miles in any direction,

"Piece of shit," You whispered as you looked at the small light blue beetle all of it beginning to rust with how old it was.

"I didn't mean it, baby," You whispered as though you had hurt the cars feelings. You put a small kiss on your fingers before placing it on the wing mirror, then you began scrolling through your phone you searching for your recovery number. Having no idea if they would have a branch out in the middle of nowhere or be able to find you out here. You were so far from any major towns, you hadn't seen a single signpost anywhere to give to them over the phone.

"Hi, I've broken down and I have the cover with your service. The only problem is I have no idea where I am..." You trailed off hoping that there was some way they could help you out even though you had no idea what to do yourself. There was some typing on the other end of the phone then a soft voice came through,

"Not a problem love, we can track your phone with our systems just give me one moment," The woman on the other side of the phone seemed pleasant enough to talk to, she hummed while she was typing on her computer.

"I can see you're location, unfortunately, we won't have an official truck out there but we can send someone from a nearby towing company." That was better than the thought of being stuck out forever so you agreed.

"That would be great," You whispered as you got into your car, wanting to stay as warm as you could since the air was starting to drop. It might have been the summer but the nights were always chilly,

"I'll send you the name of our drive and the licence plate as soon as I find out myself," You thanked her for all her work, giving her your insurance information and making sure she had everything she would need before hanging up.

"Hyunjin?" You questioned as a huge truck pulled up beside you on the road, it had been the first sign of anyone else since you ended the phone call. No one had driven down or up this road which made you wonder if the house you'd pulled up at was abandoned.

"That's me, you're-" The long-haired blonde man looked down at a clipboard as he got out of his white truck, much like your small blue Beetle it was starting to rust from how old it was. It must have been a family business, he didn't look any older than you did to be having a van that old.

"Y/n? Driving the 1967 Volkswagon?" He glanced up again and smiled at you, he wasn't at all what you had pictured when you got the text with his name. You always imagined tow drivers to be old and creepy looking but Hyunjin seemed genuinely nice, though you couldn't always judge a book by its cover.

"I haven't seen one of these in a while, what's wrong with it?" He looked impressed by the car so you smiled, taking him around to the boot to show him the engine. Opening it up and wincing at the sight as soon as you did so,

"I seem to have run into some engine troubles," You mumbled as he looked inside the boot and hissed, the sight was enough to make you cry. You knew for a fact it wasn't going to be cheap fixing all of this, not to mention you would now have to find a new place to stay since you hadn't exactly planned on staying in the town. Just passing through after doing some sightseeing.

"I'll take you to Changbin, he does repairs and he's the closest garage to here." You looked at him while nodding, slamming the boot shut and smiling to yourself as Hyunjin helped you up into his truck to wait while he got the car ready on the back of his van.

"Changbin!" You looked around as Hyunjin walked you down the gravelled pathway towards a rundown looking garage shouting out the name of the mechanic. If you hadn't seen the man working on a car in the back you would have thought the place was deserted, the building looked like it would fall apart and the slightest bit of wind change.

"Changin?!" Hyunjin cried out again as he tried to gain the attention of the man who was currently bent over a car and rapping along to some music that was playing. The man was wearing dark blue overalls that were tied around his waist but you hadn't seen his face yet.

"Wait here, I'll go and talk to him," Hyunjin told you as he rushed off over to the car, you hummed and glanced around taking in the sight of everything around you. There was a house beside the garage that looked to be in better shape, you assumed it was where this Changbin lived. Hyunjin had been telling you about him on the drive over, that they'd been close friends since school, how he and a few of their other friends had wanted to start a boy group together when they were kids. It was nice hearing what people dreamed about, back home no one ever discussed that sort of thing. They only cared about what job you wanted after school, dreaming wasn't allowed in the town you grew up in.

"You own the 1967 Beetle?" A voice questioned from behind you snapping you out of your small dream, you jumped up a little before nodding and turning to face whoever it was. From the overalls he was wearing you assumed he was the mechanic, Changbin, he smiled shyly at you and you grabbed the keys from your pocket. Changbin smiled at you but you couldn't help but take notice of what he was wearing, his overalls were tied around his waist, he had a white tank top covering his top half but it was covered in oil and sweat, it made him look incredibly hot. Shaking your head you snapped out of the daydream about him and gave him the keys to your car, Hyunjin had dropped it off at the top of the driveway for you not wanting to clog up Changbin's workspace.

"She's old, the family passed it down and I had her fixed up. The engine seems to have gone bye-bye on me...I think the timing belt snapped, I know for sure the oil has...bubbled over-" You stopped talking when you saw how Changbin was staring at you. His eyebrow was raised at the way you were talking about the car, when Hyunjin told him what was happening inside your engine he assumed you'd have no idea but you seemed to have a pretty good one to him.

"Most people don't know what's wrong when they bring it in," He chuckled softly truly impressed that you seemed to know what was wrong. That smile could have melted your whole heart if you stared at it long enough, it sent a warm feeling throughout your body just seeing him smile. You smiled back at him feeling the need to laugh a little as you both walked in the direction of your car falling into a comfortable silence as Changbin looked up at the vehicle.

"You weren't kidding when you said old," He laughed softly stepping over to the car and unlocking it. He ran his hands over the bonnet and smiled to himself, it had been so long since someone had brought anything decent for him to work on. He'd been surprised when Hyunjin mentioned the year and model,

"She's a classic," You mentioned looking at the expression on his face as he opened the doors to see all of the original interiors was still intact. Right down to the radio dials and cassette player that had been installed in the later models, it was a sight to see nowadays since many people would modify them.

"Holy fuck." He was truly stunned by how well it was still kept together, you didn't see it much now unless the person restoring the car was only doing it to sell it on or keep for a display piece.

"This is insane, I'll have to order the pieces in the fix it but you're welcome to stay in my house in the guest room until it's finished. It would be my pleasure to work on this car." He mentioned as he looked up at you, both of you heading towards the boot to take a look at the engine. Hyunjin had mentioned that Busan was a good two-hour drive if you wanted to get a hotel so you decided to take up Changbin's offer of a room. Hyunjin said he was a good guy and so far he seemed relatively normal and nice to you, who were you to say no to someone being good at hospitality.

"What happened?" He questioned when he took a look at the engine his face scrunching up as he was hit with smoke, you winced as you saw the look of disgust hit his face.

"Driving down a dirt road because my sat nav told me to, turns out I was wrong and then when I was on my way out, Buggy here gave out." He raised his eyebrow when he heard the nickname that you had for the car, you looked down at the floor feeling slightly shy at the look he was giving you.

"Everyone names their car," Your voice trailed off making Changbin smile even more as he nodded his head in agreement with you. He shut the boot as he began walking you back in the direction of his garage.

"I'll have everything priced up by the morning for you," He spoke as he walked into the main area of the garage as he went to lay your keys down.

"I don't charge people for staying at the home, it's just empty without anyone around." He mumbled as he began noting something down on a pad of paper, you weren't able to make out his handwriting so you didn't attempt to.

"Head up to the house, make yourself at home. Do you have any clothes with you?" He questioned as he looked up at you, wondering if he was going to need to lend you some of his own clothing or if you would be okay for now.

"In the car," He threw you the keys then he began writing down again, you headed off back to your car.

Wanting to get some comfortable clothes for the night, you twirled the keys around your fingers as you walked. Thinking over how nice everyone had been to you so far and how comfortable you already felt with a stranger. Hyunjin waved goodbye as he pulled out of the driveway when you reached it,

"Have a nice night! Tell him to give you some of Lix's cookies! You'll never regret eating them!" You laughed softly as Hyunjin waved his long arm out of the window and drove off down the road. You wondered how many people Changbin had allowed to stay over when he did their cars up and if he had a lot of business being out in the middle of nowhere.

Slamming the bonnet shut you took your overnight bag in the direction of the house, not paying attention to anything happening around you as you looked into your bank savings account. The money that was left was going to have to go on the car which meant your road trip would be officially cut short. Locking your phone you slid it into your bag before you let out a loud squeal, somehow you'd lost your footing on all the peddles that lined the floor causing you to slip. Falling over and smacking your head and ankle onto the ground as you let out a loud groan, wincing as you tried to get up on your own.

"Y/n?!" You looked up to see Changbin rushing over to you with a panicked expression on his face. He'd heard the scream and came rushing out from the garage to see what had happened, he hissed as he saw what had cut your head open on the floor.

"Here," He pulled off the tank top he was wearing and it took everything inside of you not to stare at his body in awe, he had huge biceps which you saw earlier but his abs were to die for.

"How did you fall?" He questioned trying hard not to laugh when he saw your eyes drifting to his body. He reached out with his hand covered in his tank top to dab the blood away from the small cut. From what he could see it wasn't major, just a small scrape that he could clean up indoors if you needed to.

"I-I wasn't paying attention," You hissed trying to stand up and that was when you and Changbin looked down at your ankle that was the source of most of your pain.

"I'll get you some ice and some painkillers, you'll have a headache soon." He then ripped his tank top in half as if it was made of nothing but tissue paper then gently wrapped it around your bruised ankle to help put some pressure on it while a makeshift bandage.

"The ice will bring the swelling out, then I'll get heat to help." You whimpered as he wrapped his arm around your waist and forced yours around his broad shoulders.

"I'm sorry I'm such a pain." You grumbled as he helped you limp in the direction of the main house that was in front of you. You'd only just met him and now you were using him to get around his place of work and home,

"You're not a pain, I'll get the first aid kit if you wait here." He sat you down on a grey sofa and you looked around, it was quite a large open home. The kitchen opened right into the living room, there was a wooden staircase right in front of the front door entrance which you assumed leads to the bedrooms.

"Here it is," You heard Changbin acknowledge followed by a small bang low groan came from him making you giggle a little, you covered your mouth to stop yourself from laughing.

"Do I need to be in charge of the first aid kit now?" He chuckled as he walked over to you from a small cupboard shaking his head at you,

"I hit my head on the shelf." You held back the second small giggle that was trying to escape from your lips and looked at him as he came over to you. He was rubbing the back of his head as he walked towards you. Sitting down next to you on the sofa as he looked through the small green box,

"I haven't had to use this in a while so I hope it's all good," He was biting down on his lower lip while reading through the contents of the box, checking the small butterfly stitches were okay to use. He didn't know if they went out of date or if they stopped working,

"Will it hurt?" You questioned nervously as you saw what he had in his hand. He gazed at you, you were biting down on your lower lip while watching his hands on the stitches with wide eyes.

"No, it's just a slight tugging sensation that's all." You nodded as he moved closer to you, his face inches away from yours as he began applying the small strips to the cut on your head. It wasn't anything major but he thought it would be best for your sake.

"This might hurt," He mumbled as he slowly took off the makeshift bandage from your ankle glancing up at you to see if you were okay. Your face was scrunched up in pain as you waited for him to do something else,

"It's swollen pretty bad but I don't think it's broken," He whispered to you as he slowly ran his hand over the skin you grimaced as he began applying a bandage around the bottom of your foot and up your ankle making sure it was secure enough, but not too tight to cut off your circulation.

"I'll go and get some ice after I've taken you to the room." He helped you up again, wrapping his arm around your waist as he got you up from the sofa. Waiting for you to steady yourself before he attempted to move,

"T-This is really nice of you, you shouldn't have to put up with a client like this." He shook his head at your words promising you that it was fine, it was really no big deal to him. He told you how he'd looked after his older sister in the same way whenever she was clumsy enough to hurt herself.

"Are you close with your family?" You yawned halfway through the questioned but he got it, helping you hop up the stairs as he nodded his head watching your feet carefully as you both walked.

"Pretty close, my sister and I are more like friends than siblings. It's nice," He chuckled as you hopped onto the landing and then tried to stand on your own. It wasn't because you wanted to seem tough but his hands on your waist was making your heart skip a beat and it was distracting to have him touch you even in an innocent manner. You couldn't help but let your mind wander onto what else his hands would be good at doing such large, long fingers. You shook your head trying to ignore the thought as he began to walk you into one of the rooms.

"I'll get a heater inside, I know it gets quite cold in this room in the summer." He sat you down on the edge of the double bed, it was in the middle of a plain white room. Wooden beams on the ceiling that were lined with posters of different artists, some you'd heard of others you hadn't, it must have been his own childhood room by the looks of it or his sisters you couldn't tell yet.

"I'll go and get some blankets, make yourself comfortable." He spoke to you as he headed out of the room, not being able to stop the smile on his face from the moment you stepped foot on the property. He grabbed the blankets from the airing cupboard, shutting it carefully as he made his way back to your room,

"I found a fluffy one and then a-" Changbin cut himself short when he saw you fast asleep on the pillow, you looked so peaceful laid there like that. He smiled weakly grabbing a spare pillow from beside you and carefully placing it under your bad ankle to make sure it was elevated for the night. Then he made sure to cover you with a warm blanket so you wouldn't get cold in the night. He sighed to himself going to get your bag from the living room to bring up to the room for the morning when you would need it.

Changbin walked up towards the top of the stairs to see if you'd woken up yet, he'd been awake for the last two hours getting the parts for your car ordered in so you could rest easy knowing that they were on their way into the garage. He'd had to call a bunch of companies since the car was so old but the thought of telling you that he couldn't fix it broke his heart. He could already tell how much you loved it from the short period of knowing you.

"Y/n?" He called out when he heard a floorboard creak inside the room, you stared at the door wondering what to say or do in this situation. You had no idea he was on his way up, you were just on your way out of the room to use the bathroom. Last night you had been too tired to even question anything going on, where anything was and what you should even do when staying in someone else's house. Sleepovers had never been like this because at least before staying over you had been friends but, you didn't know Changbin.

"I made breakfast if you're hungry, it's downstairs," Changbin said to the door as he realised how unsure you must have been about what was happening. To him letting out a room or two for a night was no big deal. He would do it if a customer couldn't get into the town for a hotel or one of the boys were staying over for the night, so he hadn't thought about it until now.

"Also I laid some fresh towels out in the bathroom if you wanted to take a shower," You pulled the door open as he spoke and you nodded at him. He looked just as good as yesterday only this time he was in fresh overalls and a new tank top.

"This is really nice of you, thank you again." He looked down at your ankle to see you were hovering it in the air, panic rushed through him as he thought about it possibly being broken or worse. It hadn't looked bad last night but now he was worried about it.

"It's okay, just a little sore. The shower will help," You promised him when you noticed the concerned look spreading along his face, you didn't want him to have to worry about this since it was your fault for falling over in the first place. Changbin smiled shyly as he looked back up at you,

"I'll come and turn the shower on, it's a little tricky if you don't know what you're doing," You followed him along towards the bathroom, limping whenever you put too much pressure on your ankle trying to ignore the floorboards that would creak whenever you stepped on them. It made you wonder how Changbin had ever snuck around as a kid.

"Thanks," You whispered, leaning against the door frame as he hung over the side of the bathtub, turning the shower on and fiddling around with the dials. The water rushing down as he held his hand out to see if it was okay for you.

"The towels are on the heated rack, should be nice for when you get out." He smiled brightly at you, promising to get you some new bandages for your ankle while he was downstairs.

"Thank you...Again," He chuckled at you shaking his head and reminding you again that it was his pleasure.

"I'll be downstairs, scream if you need me." He joked playfully, walking out of the bathroom and heading back down to the kitchen.

His phone was lighting up with text messages from Hyunjin asking what had happened the night before with you. Changbin made the mistake of telling Hyunjin that you'd fallen over and how Changbin's heart had been racing when he was sitting so close to you. Now the boy wasn't going to let Changbin get away with it without giving him some details, not that there were any details for him to give away.

Changbin: Nothing happened. We don't even know one another. Stop being a creep. He hit send and shook his head, going back to making some breakfast for you both, making sure to keep it hot in the oven while you were showering. Nothing was worse than cold food...Other than Hyunjin who had set yet another text, this time a huge paragraph.

Hyunjin: All I'm saying is...You haven't seen anyone in a while, she's cute, you're cute get to know her- Changbin stopped reading when he heard a thud followed by a scream coming from you, he dropped his phone onto the counter.

"Y/n?!" He cried out rushing up the staircase and towards the bathroom knocking on the door rather loudly his voice coming out panicked as he spoke,

"You okay?! Answer me if you're alive...I-I don't wanna walk in," He stuttered at the thought of having to walk in there while you were indecent. The mere thought of it causing his hands to get sweaty as he waited for you to give some kind of response to him, he bit down on his lip.

"I-I'm okay, I slipped...C-Can-" You groaned at the thought of asking someone you barely knew for help, sitting there in nothing but a towel. You clutched the towel around your body, you'd slipped while wrapping the towel around yourself losing your footing on the water and your bad ankle.

"Can you help me up? I slipped, I'm decent." You told him as you realised he must have thought you were naked or something. The door slowly opened and Changbin walked into the room turning a bright red colour as he saw you leaning against the bathtub on the floor. A blue towel wrapped around you tightly, he came closer to you as he spoke,

"Here," He wrapped his arm around your waist and helped you up onto your foot so you could keep your bad one up in the air, helping you out of the bathroom.

"I have more bandages in the kitchen when you come down I'll wrap it up for you and get some ice." He was walking you carefully and slowly back to the bedroom while you tried not to get embarrassed over the fact that you'd fallen over twice in his presence and were now standing in nothing but a towel in front of him.

"I'm not usually this clumsy," You informed him as he pushed open the door to the bedroom you were staying in. He let out a low chuckle as he looked at you shaking his head as he thought back on what he'd said before he went to cook.

"You know...When I told you to scream if you needed me I didn't mean it literally," He winked at you playfully, he had no idea where the wink came from but he liked the fact that you seemed to get shy, letting out a giggle and looked down at the floor. The simple wink had somehow sent your stomach into a frenzy and made your heart skip a beat.

"Will you be okay?" He questioned once you were sitting safely on the edge of the bed, he noticed how you'd made the bed again and he smiled at how thoughtful it was. Normally whenever someone stayed over they left the cleaning for him to do when he wasn't busy.

"Yeah, I'll be right down." You whispered to him as you look at your bag that was sitting on a chair beside the bed, you wondered what you could wear that wouldn't bother your ankle too much, Changbin smiled before leaving the room and going back down to the kitchen.

Changbin: She fell again, starting to think she's almost as clumsy as Jisung. I'll talk later. With lightning speed, Hyunjin replied immediately trying to tease his friend.

Hyunjin: Ever thought she's falling on purpose so you'll save her? She was in the shower remember. The text ended with a suggestive string of emojis to which Changbin groaned and threw his phone into the drawer, wanting nothing more to do with Hyunjin that day.

"I made tea as well, or I can make some coffee if you prefer," Changbin called to you when he heard small hops coming from the staircase. He glanced over to see you in a pair of high waisted shorts a band t-shirt, his eyes travelled up your legs as he took in the sight of you.

"Tea is perfect," You breathed out in relief as you reached the bottom floor without falling over or hurting yourself this time.

"Come and sit," Changbin pulled out a white wooden chair that was in front of a kitchen island and you waddled over to him, watching as he began opening some drawers. Pulling out bandages and scissors before coming over to you to get you bandaged up for the day.

"I have to finish that car I was working on yesterday but you're welcome to do whatever you want, watch a movie, or a show or something." He spoke calmly as he knelt down in front of you, carefully wrapping the new bandage around your ankle, pulling it a little tighter so that your ankle was secure.

"I'll probably watch a movie, Hyunjin said that Busan is 2 hours away?" You wanted to confirm that Hyunjin was telling the truth and it wasn't just some trick so he wouldn't have to take you.

"Yeah, two hours and from here to Seoul it's around four in a car." He cut the end of the bandage off before tying it around your leg and smiling up at you to show off his handiwork.

"I'm not a nurse but I don't think its that bad a job," He told you as you complimented his work on your ankle,

"Well if you handle my car like you've handled me I'm sure she's in perfect hands." Changbin began blushing a deeper red than before and you smiled at him, you'd never had that effect on anybody before.

"I'll get you some tea," You thanked him shyly and looked around again, the house was cosy and small but it did make you wonder about where his family were. There were photographs of them on the wall, they all looked so happy together,

"I know you mentioned your sister last night...Where is she?" It probably came across as you being nosy but you were generally interested in getting to know Changbin as a person. He came back to the kitchen island with plates stacked high with food for the both of you, he set them down before looking at you. Walking away to get the drinks as he spoke to you,

"Well my sister went to Seoul National University and my parents moved out there with her. I stayed to run the family business," He came back to the table again with tea for you both and sat down on the chair beside you,

"You grew up out here?" He nodded at you, he could see where this was going so he cut you off before you could question him on school and friends. It was the question everyone asked whenever they came out here,

"It's not as quiet as you probably think i is. There are some farms further down the road and then a small school where Hyunjin and I met the rest of our friends." That explained how they'd met, you'd wondered in the van when Hyunjin told you how far away everything was. You would have assumed they were homeschooled since everything seemed so far away from them,

"I thought you were going to tell me you travelled two hours a day for school," It was normal, you knew people travelled further for other schools, he shook his head at you. Telling you the only time they'd travelled to school was for high school and it was an hour-long bus journey there and back.

"What was school like?" You questioned as you began eating some of the food that Changbin had prepared. Withstanding the urge to let out a moan of delight when you tasted it, it was far better than you had imagined for a mechanic. It made you wonder who had taught him how to cook and if he got it from his mother or father,

"Y-You okay? Is it not good?!" Changbin panicked as he read the look on your face, he couldn't tell if it was a good shocked face or a bad one. You were very hard to read for him at the minute and it scared him a little, he hadn't realised it until now but he'd been trying to impress you.

"No! No! It's actually really good, I didn't- I didn't expect it." You admitted shyly and Changbin chuckled, his friend Jeongin had said the same thing when he first cooked for them all.

"My dad taught me how to cook growing up, Mum taught me cars." He admitted as he looked at you, you had a smile on your face as you looked at him intrigued to know more about him. Much like his your smile hadn't left your face yet.

"School." You told him as you waited to hear more about his childhood and how he'd grown up around here,

"School was normal I guess...We formed a friend group, tried to start a band as every young boy does." You giggled at the thought of it, pushing a piece of pancake into your mouth and shaking your head,

"Not just boys, I wanted to be in a girl group but not many others did." You admitted to him as you began exchanging stories from your "girl group" days which turned out to be more of a solo carer turned into, the one singing job at a talent show followed by you never singing in front of people again.

"What was your group name?" You quizzed when you were drying the dishes up for him. The conversations had been going back and forth while you ate. He'd told you all their stage names but not the group name itself,

"I think we called ourselves Stray kids, we-" He started laughing through the sentence as he thought back on everything and shook his head,

"We called ourselves that because we always strayed away from the usual kid's stuff," He shook his head at the memories and looked at you wondering the same question,

"Your turn. Your group name?" He questioned, turning off the hot water and drying his hands while he stared at you. You were shying away from the question and shook your head,

"It was something dumb, unlike Stray Kids which seems like a good name..." He wasn't going to let you get out of this one though, he wanted to know the ins and outs so he shook his head,

"Come on, I told you mine." He pressed, moving closer to you and sitting down on the chair beside you, you groaned laying your face in your hands as you thought back on it all. The name had just been something you randomly thought of on the day, a 12-year-old you didn't have much imagination for names at the time.

"The group was called January Spice...I formed the group in January...Clearly, and I liked spicy food." He began to laugh softly at the time and you moaned, rolling your head down on the countertop in front of you.

"Laugh away, you had stage names remember. SpearB," You mocked playfully earning a playful glare from Changbin as he got up from the counter.

"I need to go work on the cars, do you want me to set the TV up?" He questioned as he pointed over at the tv while looking at you, but you had a better idea,

"C-Can I come?" You questioned, the thought of being alone in the house would bother you too much and you wanted to get to know him better. Changbin's heart warmed at the thought of you wanting to spend time with him more than you had that morning at least,

"Sure. We'll take a chair out so you can sit while I work." He laughed picking up one of the barstools from the kitchen island and heading out, you limping slowly behind him as he went to open the garage doors.

"Bliss," He called out randomly in the silence, you frowned looking at him. It had been quiet while he worked on the car for a couple of minutes, you didn't know if he wanted complete silence or if it would be okay to talk. He was bent over the hood of a car as he worked on the engine, he could tell you were confused by the lack of response,

"You said everyone names their car, mine was called Bliss." You nodded along with him now following along with what he meant,

"Was?" He whined out at the question and thought of his car, he hadn't been away from it since the day he'd gotten it until his parents needed it. He knew they would need it more than him so he gave it up. Changbin had his choice of cars around the yard that they bought from people over the years. But none of them was 'Bliss', his dream car.

"Out in the city with my parents, they needed it to get around." He told you as he placed his hand on his chest, faking hurt for dramatic effect splashing oil all over his clean white vest top.

"Now I just have Dave," He groaned facing over at a Ford Pickup truck that was sitting beside the house,

"He's only good when I need to go into town and come back with all of the snacks Felix makes for me,"

"Felix is the one that bakes right?" You remembered both Hyunjin and Changbin telling you about him. Changbin said that Felix was better than him at cooking but it was hard to believe when you'd ate Changbin's food.

"Yeah! I think I'll see him before your parts come so you can have some of his cookies for the road," He laughed going back down into the hood of the car while you stared at the floor feeling a sinking feeling in your chest as you thought back on that. You'd totally forgotten about driving back home. Ending your road trip short and yet the one thing that was making you feel down the most was leaving here, you'd loved spending so much time with Changbin it felt as though you'd known him longer than you had.

"Yeah- Sounds good," Changbin could hear the uncertainty in your voice and he decided to look back at you, turning his head as he caught you looking a little sad.

"Can you pass me the adjustable wrench?" He questioned snapping you out from your daydream, you reached for it and handed it over to him in silence. He could tell that making you think of home had struck a nerve so he looked back down at the car trying to come up with something to distract you from it,

"Why did you leave home? Why did you decide to go on the huge road trip alone?" He licked his lips as he began fixing the engine again not glancing over at you. You took in a deep breath and shook your head thinking over it all.

"I- I don't know, I just..." You'd never said it out loud to anyone before in fear of hurting their feelings but where you lived was awful. No one did a thing about their dreams, they worked in dead-end jobs like they were running their lives on autopilot all of the time.

"I looked around and realised there wasn't a single person there, whose life I wanted." By now Changbin was resting his hands on the closed bonnet of the car and staring at you, he watched the way your face contorted thinking back on everything back home. He could tell you didn't want to go back there,

"So you travelled to find somewhere you wanted to stay?" He cleaned off his hands on a towel while he waited for your response,

"Maybe..." You whispered not wanting to admit that you may have found somewhere. That it was Busan was seemingly like a great place despite not seeing it as a whole yet, you sensed it was probably Changbin making you feel like you wanted to stay.

The rest of the day was spent with you and Changbin getting to know one another on a deeper level. He told you about his time growing up and you did the same, exchanging horror stories from your high school years and what you had done for a living before going on the road trip.

Now you were both watching a movie together, it was some horror movie that his friend Minho had suggested you both watch together. Though it wasn't really scary...At all. Changbin thought he'd only suggested it because he had you over at the house and "watching horror movies scared girls into your arms" was something Minho always used to say in school. But you weren't scared, in fact, you were laying your head on Changbin as you drifted off to sleep, Changbin smiled when he heard you murmur in your sleep. Holding onto his arms as you got comfortable against him, snuggling your head into him. He knew if you were awake you would be far too shy to do this which was why he wrapped his arm around your shoulder enjoying the moment while he had it. He drew your body closer to his as he got comfy. It somehow felt natural to be in this position with you, as though you'd done this a million times before.

"C-Changbin," He heard the small whine of his name leave your lips and he froze in place wondering if you'd woken up and felt him holding you or if you were dreaming about him. He blushed at the thought of him being in your dreams and glanced at his phone, it was getting late and he had to be up early soon but he didn't want to leave this position. He wanted to stay right here with you but sleeping on the sofa caused back pains, he would know after the many nights he'd spent on it after crashing.

The next morning you rolled over to stop the sun from blinding you in your face but ended up rolling over and hurting your ankle as it came into contact with the edge of the bed.

"Shit," You hissed, sitting up straight and looking down at yourself, you were still in the clothes from yesterday but, you were in the bedroom. You could have sworn you'd been sitting downstairs. It was the last thing you could remember, you were watching a horror movie with Changbin and pretending to be a little afraid so you could hide in his arms. Looking back on it now it seemed silly and childish but you wanted to hold onto him or have him hold you, even if it was just a little while. You hadn't meant to fall asleep beside him and have him carry you up to the bed, now you felt like such a fool.

"Y/n? You alright?" Changbin asked as he came out of the bathroom from his shower, he was about to head into his room when he heard you moving around in the bedroom. Pulling up your black jeans you hummed at him, pulling the door open as soon as you were dressed. Then you walked out showing him that you weren't limping around anymore while you did the best you could not to whine out. It was still hard to walk on but at least now you could do it on your own and without limping, he chuckled softly so you looked up at him. Your mouth could have dropped to the floor when you saw him standing there in nothing but a towel. His body on full display for you to see, beads of water dripping down his arms, abs and face. As he looked at you your mouth ran dry as you realised you were staring at him as if he was some model in a magazine. This time it was your turn to get shy and turn away from him as you got embarrassed.

"I'm heading into the town today, the market will be on. You're welcome to join me if you'd like." He told you as he turned his back on you, heading towards his bedroom so that you wouldn't have to be shy about staring at him anymore.

"Y-Yeah! Sounds great, I-I'm gonna go- Make a drink." You stuttered out as you tried to make it down the staircase as quickly as you could with your bad ankle. Changbin sniggered to himself as he heard you mumbling to yourself about staring.

"He can see you staring you idiot," Was the last words he heard from you before he went to change into some clothes for the town.

Instead of his usual attire, Changbin came down in dressed in some blue jeans and a white t-shirt while he pulled on a black jacket.

"We'll take Dave, no doubt Felix will have baked up a storm last night and I need to get some food while I'm in town." He told you as he walked into the kitchen where you were sitting. You'd made you both a hot cup of tea while you waited for him, wanting to trip yourself over for staring at him the way you did. It was clear from his actions over the two days he wasn't feeling the same way that you did, you had to stop fantasying about him and get on with it. Changbin was just there to fix your car and you would be out of there. It was as simple as that.

"Y/n?" Changbin called out as he stood beside you looking down at you, your hands were clamped down tightly on the mug you were holding. There was something on your mind anybody with more than one brain cell could see that.

"Sorry, what?" You muttered shaking your head as you realised he had been speaking to you the entire time and you hadn't noticed until now.

"I asked if you want me to put your tea into the travel mug for the drive?" He held up a pink travel mug and shook it so you would see what he was talking about, you nodded shyly at him and he chuckled taking the mug from your hands. As he stood at the sink he glanced over his shoulder at you, wanting to know what it was that seemed to be bothering you.

"What's on your mind?" He questioned as he poured the hot liquid into another container. A part of him hoped it was about what had happened upstairs and you would either confirm or deny your feelings for him but it was wishful thinking on his part. Neither of you had known one another that long and he didn't want to tell you his feelings too soon in fear of ruining what would be a lovely couple of days together.

"Going back home...The thought of it just lingers." You mumbled as you lied to him, you'd never ever been a good liar even your mother could tell when you lied to her. You couldn't exactly be straight forward and tell him that it was he that occupied your mind all morning and night. The situation on the top floor landing creeping back into your mind, which then took you back into thinking of the dream you'd had the night before. Nothing special had happened but Changbin had been there. You couldn't even remember what had happened, only that he was there and you kissed.

"Hmm," Changbin hummed as he looked at you knowing that it was a lie. Your eyes were locked on your hands and your body language had become blocked off to him, he hadn't known you long but he already knew your thinking of home face and that wasn't it. Whatever it was that was on your mind had you biting your bottom lip and playing with your hands nervously.

"Well, maybe you'll like Busan and you'll have found a place you want to stay." He nudged your side trying to wake you up from another daydream and he walked you out of the house in silence not knowing what to say to you to make things easier on your mind. This was the most you had been quiet around one another and it was starting to feel a little awkward.

"I'd offer to buy breakfast on the drive but if I do that I think Seungmin and Chan might kill me. They serve food all day from the moment they get there. You'll love it," As he spoke to you you looked at him and smiled as you tried to forget about kissing him in your dream and seeing him almost naked. At least now you'd both seen one another in nothing but a towel and you had nothing to be embarrassed about.

"What are they like?" You had questioned him on his friends before but nothing major, now that you were going to meet them all you wanted to know what you were in for before you got to the market and they would get to hang with you all day.

"Jump in, we have a whole two-hour drive. I'll tell you all about them," He chuckled as he looked at you, the chuckle made you feel more relaxed as you realised he was just breezing over the fact you'd seen him in a towel.

"In return though-" He started as he turned on the car of the pickup truck, turning the radio down from the last time he had been in the car alone. He didn't want to deafen you with his music blasting out suddenly at you.

"I want you to sing for me, otherwise I'm going to throw you to the boys. Like a sheep in a lion's den." You raised your eyebrow at the statement and turned your head to the side trying to think if that was the correct saying.

"I thought the saying was 'I'll feed you to the wolves'?" He licked his lips at you and shook his head acting confident in what he had said to you.

"Not anymore, I changed it. Find a song and start singing," He winked at you, nodding over at the glove box where he kept all of his CD's.

"Whoa. You have a lot of music," You mumbled as you flicked through the multiple CD holders he had inside to try and find a CD where you would at least know one song on it.

"I have to keep myself entertained on the long drives somehow," By now Changbin was pulling into the main road and heading into the town ready to listen to your singing.

By the time you pulled into a parking spot, you knew all of the boy's names, how he'd met every one of them and some small details about them all. Changbin and you had sung together, which led to some rather interesting duets in the car mostly you being shocked by how well Changbin could make up a rap on the spot. He could have had a huge music career if he had stuck it out.

"I just don't want to seem nervous," You told Changbin as he playfully teased you for wanting to know who all of his friends were when you got out of the car. Changbin slammed the door and laughed again, Hyunjin looked up from his phone as soon as he heard your voice and he smiled quickly sending a text to everyone that you were there.

"Is that Y/n I hear? Changbin hasn't scared you off then?" He laughed loudly gaining the attention of other people around you as you looked at him. You smiled back at him as you shook your head at his question,

"Not yet!" You giggled as he rushed over to you and Changbin, greeting Changbin with nothing but a nod of his head before turning to you.

"I hope you're enjoying your stay at Hotel-Dela-Changbin," You laughed softly and began talking with Hyunjin about Changbin's rapping in the car but Changbin began gushing about your singing voice.

"So where shall we start?" You questioned as you looked around you, you were still standing at the edge of the parking lot looking around for something. The market area seemed huge with both and indoor and outdoor market area, a huge building with floor to ceiling windows letting you see everything inside. You didn't dare admit to Changbin you'd never been to one before, the closest thing you'd gotten to a farmers market is a market stall in your home town that sold books.

"We'll start outdoors, Seungmin text saying he has some breakfast food ready for us and that Chan is getting angsty just waiting there." He chuckled glancing from his phone and up to you to make sure that would alright with you,

"Great let's go-" Your sentence was cut short by a loud whimper as you went to walk on your foot a little too eagerly and twisted your ankle, you wanted to cry out in pain but you held it back. Changbin instantly reached his hands out to grab you protectively and Hyunjin watched from the side a little shocked by how protective of you Changbin was acting.

"Ankle again?" Changbin questioned as he steadied you in his arms holding onto you tightly trying to make sure you didn't fall.

"Y-Yeah," The stutter in your voice wasn't because of your ankle but because of how he was holding you. His hands were on your waist, his breath against your neck as he stood close to you, stopping you from toppling over onto your face. Your heart began to pump as you felt him draw you closer to him, his chest against your back as you felt his heart racing just as yours was.

"Alright love birds, let's get moving." Hyunjin joked hoping that Seungmin had seen it from the stall he was working on. He clapped his hands together as he waited for you and Changbin to start moving together so he could get back to his job on directing everyone in the right places. Changbin looked at you as he linked his arm with yours, slowly walking with you in the direction of Seungmin and Chan who were both watching you from a distance. Smirking to one another as they watch you and Changbin engage in conversation with one another, staring up into one another's eyes getting lost in one another rather than paying attention to anything around you.

"It's like those old romance movies Minho claims he doesn't watch," Seungmin joked to Chan who was laughing softly at the thought of it. They could already tell that Changbin liked you a lot, they'd known him for a long time and knew he rarely smiled that much unless it was someone he really liked.

"I thought Changbin was going to join a nunnery he'd been single for so long." Felix joked as he loaded up a box full of baking goods for you to take back to the garage. All nine of you were sitting at a bench in the indoor market while you had some lunch together, Changbin and you had done a full lap of the outdoor market. Walking slowly, of course, to make sure you didn't hurt your ankle. The whole time you spoke about his life again, what he had planned for his future if he wasn't going to run the garage but now you were here with them all.

"Felix!" Changbin groaned as he playfully hit his friend for bringing it up in front of you, he didn't want you to know how long he'd been single in case it put you off him.

"It would be a monastery anyway since...Changbin is a dude." You whispered joining in on the playful teasing while Changbin started nodding sarcastically and licked the inside of his lip.

"Yeah! That's it! You encourage them!" He yelled at you jokingly but you held onto his arm and shook your head, promising him it was just a joke while Felix told him it wasn't.

"The boys and I were going to chip on getting you a Monk outfit." A biscuit was thrown in Felix's direction while you let out a loud surprised shriek as Changbin got up from the seat suddenly.

"Do they always act like this?" You questioned Chan who was sitting beside you watching them both, Changbin got up from the table and began racing after Felix around the indoor market, chasing him in and out of stalls and around people while you giggled.

"Sometimes, Changbin normally rises above it." He whispered turning to look at you as he tried to figure out how you felt about Changbin. Your eyes hadn't left him, watching him chase the smaller boy of the group around, yelling out that he would kill him amongst other playful remarks.

"To be blunt," Chan started once he realised he couldn't read what you were thinking based on your facial expression. As you turned to look at him your face softened wondering what it was that he wanted to ask, you placed a forkful of cake into your mouth and waited for him to continue on.

"Do you like him?" You almost choked on the piece of cake you were eating as he asked you point blankly about Changbin.

"What?! I don't- We don't know- I-" Chan smirked when he saw how easily flustered you were getting with the question, it was obvious now what the answer was even if you weren't saying it yourself.

"You do?" He questioned, biting down on your lip you looked back over at Changbin before nodding. It would be no use lying to yourself about your feelings for him so you weren't going to bother trying to hide it.

"Yeah. I do. Don't...Don't tell him? It's dumb but we haven't known each other long and I don't want things to be awkward-"

"Don't want to be awkward?" Changbin asked making you jump in your seat and look up at him, you were instantly hit with nervousness as you thought he'd heard you and Chan talking about him.

"Nothing, can we take a walk? I want to stretch my ankle for a little bit." Chan slyly tapped his nose at you as a way of telling you that he would keep your secret so you began heading off to look through the indoor market.

"Cute!" You expressed once you saw a stand selling handmade outfits for animals, you walked away from Changbin who was buying you both a hot chocolate and over to the lady who was serving.

"Do you own a pet?" She asked you as you looked through everything,

"No, but now I want to." You whined, Changbin chuckled as he caught you whining and walked over to you, looking through everything as he greeted the woman at the stand.

"Changbin, watch while I have a bathroom break?" He nodded at her and she rushed out of the booth going towards the bathroom while you giggled at everything. Picking up a bow tie that would go around a dogs neck,

"Look, it would suit you." You giggled as you adjusted the neck to fit around Changbin's. Holding it around his neck as you stared into his eyes, getting lost in them as you looked at one another.

"S-So cute," You whispered dropping the bow tie on the floor as you both leant closer to one another. Your heart was in your throat as you moved closer to one another, your lips inches away. Changbin wrapped his arms around your waist as your you were about to kiss when someone let out a loud screech. Changbin backed away from you first making you whine as you looked down at the floor acting as though you weren't just about to kiss one another. The fact that he pulled away first made you feel as though he didn't want to be that close to you,

"Binnie!" You heard a female voice cry out before someone came bounding over to you both, pushing you back a couple of steps and causing you to knock into the stand.

"Watch it Flair!" Changbin yelled moving away from her and holding onto your elbow to stop you from falling over anymore and then he stared at the girl. She had long jet-black hair as she stared at you, giving you a dirty look the second Changbin held onto you.

"What are you doing here? I thought you never wanted to see me again?" Changbin questioned her once you were steady on your feet. Minho, who had seen the entire thing began making his way over to move you out of the firing range. Whenever Flair saw Changbin it ended badly, the last time she'd seen him she flipped out never wanting to see him again but now she'd seen him with someone else Minho knew what was bound to happen.

"I still love you silly, we should go for a drink." Her hands were holding onto his biceps as Minho reached your side,

"Come on," He pulled you over in the direction of the table where the boys were again so you could be alone and not have to listen to their fight.

"Flair again?" Jeongin questioned when they all looked over at Changbin who seemed to be turning red in the face as he spoke back and forth with the girl.

"Who is she?" You questioned shyly, not wanting to look as though you were jealous, you had nothing to be jealous over. It was only a small kiss and it hadn't even happened, though your rapidly beating heart would say otherwise.

The drive home had been silent except for the music that had been playing through the speaker system. Changbin and you hadn't spoken since the almost kiss in the indoor market, he'd come to stand at the table and told the boys he best start driving home before it got too late which meant it was your cue to leave as well.

Now you were heading up to the bedroom to get some rest for the night, holding onto the railing instead of relying on Changbin to help balance you.

"Y/n?" Changbin questioned as you hand touched the golden door handle on the door, you turned your body to face him as you forced yourself to look him in the eyes,

"I'm sorry. Flair...She's a little too much and she's my ex...I had to talk to her-" The boys had explained who Flair was to you, she cheated on Changbin multiple times with different guys to the point where they had their relationship as open but Changbin wasn't allowed to date anyone else. If he even looked at another girl Flair would flip out on him and ''break up'' the relationship without a second thought. When they finally did have a real break up she swore she never wanted to see him again, until she got needy and followed him everywhere. Then claimed she never wanted to see him again. Minho had explained she'd only gone up to him at the market today because she'd seen him with you and got jealous.

"It's fine. It's not as if we're dating, right?" You knew it was wrong to snap at him but you did so anyway, walking into the room and slamming the door behind you. Changbin stared at the door sighing to himself, he should never have stood there to speak to Flair, he should have just taken you away and finished the kiss. Now things were going to be weird between the two of you.

As soon as you knew he was gone from outside of the door you let out a cry into your hands, it seemed stupid crying over a boy you weren't with but it hurt how he left you there like that for someone else.

When the sun woke you up that morning you didn't bother moving from the bedroom, you just rolled over onto your side and began to scroll through your phone trying to distract yourself. There had been someone at the front door earlier that morning talking with Changbin but the voices were muffled through your door, so you weren't able to make out who it was or what they were talking about so you just went back to sleep for a few hours until now.

Sighing to yourself you sat up in the bed deciding that hiding from Changbin wouldn't be the most mature thing to do in this situation so you wanted to go and see him, at least try and talk this all over with him. Smooth things out at least. You changed into another pair of jeans and an oversized button-up that was in the bottom of your bag and headed for the stairs finding your ankle perfectly fine to walk on today, unlike the previous days when you could barely use it.

"Changbin?" You called out nervously as you reached the bottom to see that he wasn't around, the living room was empty and there were no signs of him in the kitchen. Nothing but a plate and a used mug in the sink that was waiting to be washed up.

"Changbin?" You walked out to the front door checking to see if he was in the garage but the doors were shut and locked and Dave was missing so he'd most likely gone out somewhere but you didn't know where that was.

As you made your way back towards the kitchen there was a small note on the coffee machine you hadn't seen before,

One of your parts was missing, went out to Seoul to get it. Won't be home until late, food in the fridge, Lix said he'll come round after 11. See you later x

The small kiss on the end of the handwritten note gave you hope that he wasn't mad about whatever happened the night before between you. The almost kiss lingering in your head as you thought back on the market incident. Maybe there was hope for you both yet but your stomach was still in a nervous spin as you realised he'd left you alone with not much to do. There was an hour before Lix would be arriving so you were going to do the best you could to get something to eat in the house and then clean up. It was the least you could do since Changbin was letting you stay here for free this whole time. Trying to distract yourself from thinking about Changbin the whole time, there was no use sitting around and crying over a boy.

"Changbin wasn't kidding when he said you could sing, huh?" Felix laughed as he walked right into the house. The whole house was filled with loud music, he heard it as he pulled into the driveway. You'd been playing it for the last hour as you cleaned up the house. It wasn't as though it was unnecessarily dirty, just random stains you knew how to fix.

Felix placed the key he had into his jacket pocket and walked further into the home, taking off his shoes not wanting to mess it up. The boys all had their own key to both the house and the garage, Changbin made them make copies for whenever he was away and needed them to come and look after the place for a couple of days.

"Ah! Hi!" You yelled as you got up from the floor turning off the music so you would be able to talk to one another without yelling at each other.

"Hey! I brought you guys some more cookies, I even had Sengmin whip us something up for dinner." He placed the containers into the fridge and walked over to you to see what you had been doing. That was when he noticed that the stain in front of the kitchen sink was gone. Chan had dropped some oil a few years ago and it ended up seeping into the small grooves of the floor.

Felix greeted you with a hug although you hadn't known him longer than half a day you already felt close with him. In fact, you felt close to all of the boys which were nice since you'd never had that kind of friendship before. Everyone back home just sort of tolerated one another, put up with each other for the sake of the town since it was only small and there were only so many people around. Yet another reason to stay away. There everyone knew one another, here they did too but it didn't seem as toxic as it did back home.

"Thank you, Changbin loves your cookies. I haven't tried them yet but if they're anything like your cakes though I'm sure I'll gain a few pounds while I have the last few days here." Felix frowned as you spoke about leaving. From what he'd gotten from Changbin the day before you were starting to like your time in Busan, which made him and the boys wondered if you would be staying. It wasn't uncommon for people to visit and plan to stay in the future.

"Last days?" He tried to bring it up casually as you both walked over to the sofa to talk for a while but you knew why he was asking.

"I have to go home right? I can't stay with Changbin all the time...There aren't really any places for me to stay other than here..." You trailed off slowly not knowing if Chan had told anyone else that you admitted your feelings for Changbin to him yesterday. Felix smiled softly at you as he looked at you.

"Chan told me that you might have a crush on him," You scoffed at his words, 'crush' was one of the biggest oversimplifications you could have used. It made you feel as though you were back in school and had a crush on one of the popular kids.

"That would be the understatement of the year." Felix sighed at you when he saw the look on your face, it looked as though you were really upset about something and he wanted to know what it was that was on your mind.

"What happened? Minho said that he saw you and Changbin with Flair but-"

"We almost kissed when she interrupted then when we got back to the house I sort of - maybe kind of...Snapped at him for something that wasn't his fault," You dramatically rolled back to lay on the grey sofa, closing your eyes and groaning about how if you could do it over you would. Felix met you with a breathy chuckle as he looked over at you laying down on the sofa with your eyes closed.

"You could talk it through with him...Tell him how you feel? I mean after the almost kiss it means he confirms his feelings for you." Forcing your eyes open you stared up at Felix, you had so many questions you wanted to ask him but you didn't know if he would be comfortable with answering them. Changbin was his friend, Felix wasn't yours you had to remember that.

"You're worried about Flair right? If you are you have nothing to be worried about... From what I heard Changbin set her straight yesterday." To distract yourself a little you walked to the kitchen to make you both a hot drink to have together. Trying not to make it seem like you were prying for too much information.

"Set her straight?" You wondered if that was why he had been so tense the night before and hadn't spoken in the truck ride home. Not that you did anything to help aid that either, you could have just as easily spoken to him too you just choose not to. Deciding it would be better to sit in a dull silence rather than talk it out like the adults you both were.

"From what we heard, Flair isn't planning on sticking around in Busan much longer. Then last night Changbin gave her that little extra nudge to move." You looked at Felix with a raised eyebrow handing him his mug of hot coffee as you sat down beside him on the sofa once again. Pulling your knees into your chest as you stared at him,

"Was Flair his first love? Was that why he put up with so much from her?" As much as he didn't want to talk about his friend behind his back he thought it would be important for you to know it. Since you'd expressed your interest in Changbin and it was clear to him and the boys Changbin liked you back.

"They were each other's first love, Changbin had been crushing on Flair Hard. For years. I'm talking since we were in little school to high school..."

The story went on until Felix had told you the ins and outs of the relationship. The first time Flair had cheated until the last time when Changbin finally had enough of it all and called it all to an end. She'd been the worst of the worst for him and it took him so long to realise it. Felix took off not long before nine that night so you just began watching a film on the TV. The plan was to wait for Changbin to come in so you could greet him and talk everything over but it wasn't panning out that way since your eyes were getting harder to keep open with each passing second.

Changbin walked into the house to find you asleep on the sofa a movie running on the screen while there was a mug of half-drunken coffee on the coffee table. He grinned to himself as he quietly dropped the truck keys on the table and stepped over to you, looking over your face while you snuggled into the sofa. You were covered by a small blanket while clutching a small stuffed toy in your arms he'd never seen it before so he could only assume you'd brought it along with you,

"Cute." He whispered to himself as you scrunched your face up in your sleep dreaming of something that wasn't nice by the looks of it.

"Come here," He whispered to himself once again, taking the blanket off of your body before lifting you up into his arms just like he'd done that second night you'd stayed over. He couldn't expect you to sleep on the coach given how uncomfortable it was, he watched your face as he walked carefully up the staircase to your room. Being careful not to drop you as he walked towards the bedroom you were staying in.

"Changbin," He froze in place as he reached the door of your bedroom, he'd just tucked you into the double bed and was about to leave when you called out his name.

"Y/n?" He glanced back at you and sighed when he saw that you were still fast asleep on the bed, mumbling his name to yourself. He was sure he could run a hover around the room and you would still be out cold. He shook his head while laughing softly at the sight of you, then he sighed to himself making himself leave the room as he thought about everything. The almost kiss in the market. The ranting text messages he had sitting in his phone from the boys complaining about how he had dealt with everything. Including a string of new messages from Felix updating him on what had happened in the house.

Felix: She's caught up on this whole almost kiss...You should tell her how you feel...

Felix: I'm leaving. She's going to try and stay awake to talk to you. Talk to her. She'll be good for you, you know it, the boys know it and I know it

Changbin ignored them though, throwing his phone onto the sofa as he looked around the kitchen. The boys were always on his case about moving on so this was nothing new from them but he didn't need the pressures of everyone else around him on top of him as well as his own pressures about you. As he walked further into the kitchen he noticed that the usual oil stain on the floor was gone...He'd been trying to get that out for years and you'd only been here a few days and it vanished? He was going to need your secret that or he needed you to stay around forever to be his personal stain remover. Who was he kidding? He wanted you to stay around because having you there had made him happier than he had been in the longest time. Anyone with a functioning brain and two eyes could tell that. He groaned to himself as he thought about how rude he had been, he should have offered to take you to Seoul with him, there was no reason for him to have been out all day either. He'd wasted so much time in the City just trying to avoid coming home to the weird tension that had been in the air the previous night.

The next morning Changbin had woken up first - as he always did - and headed out to your car to start working on it. Working on cars was the only thing he could do to help clear his mind and help him say the things he needed to say without them coming out as complicated, fixing cars helped him focus.

When you woke up and saw him out of the window you knew it was now or never, you had to speak to him. He was working on your car so you only had a couple of hours to get yourself to talk to him, starting with a hot drink. In your mindset, no one could be mad or upset if you brought them a hot drink. That and it would give you that tiny bit longer of procrastination while you worked out what on earth you were going to say to him when you went out there.

"I-I made you a drink." You whispered as you brought him out a mug of tea with the biscuits that Felix brought round the day before.

"Lix baked fresh cookies so I brought them out too." You mumbled to him as you set the small tray down on one of the empty workbenches not knowing how else to pluck up a conversation. No words came from him as he continued working in the back of your car, glancing over at you when you weren't looking. Today you were dressed in a pair of dark blue denim overalls and a white button-up which made him smile at the thought of you both looking alike, but he went back to the car ignoring the sweet thoughts he was having about you as he continued his work. He still had no idea what it was he wanted to say to you. If he should bring up the kiss or if he was just supposed to ignore the whole thing had happened.

"Look I was hoping-" You stopped talking when someone knocked on the wooden doors of the garage interrupting you, you both glanced over to see the delivery man holding a box for Changbin.

"Drop it anywhere, thanks, man." The box said had a brand of spray paint on the side which the delivery man dropped over by the doors.

"I was hoping that we could talk about the other day-" You'd tried to start once the delivery man was gone but Changbin cut you off this time. He began talking about the car instead of looking at you, staring into the engine as he tried to talk.

"It'll be done by tomorrow at the latest. You'll be out of here before you know it." He didn't even look at you while he spoke it pissed you off more than it probably should have. That he didn't even have the guts to look you in the face while he toyed around with your feelings like this.

"Changbin I wasn't talking about the car-" You tried to speak once again but just like before he cut you off.

"I just need to get an oil change and some stuff, let it settle. You'll be out of my hair by morning." The wording of his sentence pierced you both in place like a deer caught in headlights, your heart thumped against your chest as he told you what he thought about you. Changbin put down the wrench he was using and slowly looked over at you to try and assess the situation. Your eyes were starting to fill with tears as you thought over what he had said. 'Out of my hair' was he sick of you already? Did the boys read him wrong and he didn't like you back at all?

"Out of your hair, r-right...Okay." You stuttered out as you tried not to burst out into tears right there and then, trying to leave the comment alone but it kept repeating itself over and over in your head. Anger began to bubble up inside of you as you thought about it longer and longer,

"You offered me to stay...If it was that big a deal you could have told me to go...I-I could have found a hotel-" He cut you off trying to explain why he'd said what he'd said.

"I didn't mean it, I was just-" This time you cut him off,

"Just what? Because it sounded to me like you meant it! What's your problem? We went from almost kissing to you ignoring me, passing me off as nothing but a visitor and claiming I'm in your hair!?" It came out more of a question than you throwing accusations at him, he licked his lips as he began to feel the guilt coming onto him. He hadn't meant it all, he was just trying to push you away. Pushing people away was easier for him than to accept they were willing to stay with him.

"If I'm that big a deal I'll leave now!" You knew yelling wasn't going to solve anything in this situation but you couldn't help but feel mad at him. You turned to leave out of the garage doors when he seized your wrist in his grasp, stopping you from leaving him there.

"I didn't mean I wanted you to leave..." His voice was coming out calmer now as he looked at you, trying not to hold back the feelings he could feel rushing to the surface. It scared him that he was finally starting to feel something stronger than he had for Flair all those years ago and now he was going to have to admit it out loud it worried him. He didn't want the thing that had happened in the past to repeat themselves.

"Then what is your problem? You've been so-" This time it wasn't Changbin cutting you off with his words...He smashed his lips against yours. Instantly it was as if the fight had melted away from you, you couldn't remember what you were mad at him for, all that matter now was that he was kissing you deeply. Your arms wrapped around the back of his neck as you stood up on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss, Changbin smirked against your lips. Biting down on your lower one so he could gain access, pushing his tongue into your mouth as he made out with you. Your lips mouthing in sync with one another as you finally got the dream kiss you'd been wanting this whole time. Changbin's arms snaked around your waist, luring you closer to him as he made out with you on the spot.

"N-No, not here." He whispered as you began to run your hands up his shirt. He had to remember you were both in the middle of the garage, anyone could walk in and he didn't want that. He kissed both of your hands as he pulled them out from under his tank top, then he kissed down your neck, pulling you in the direction of the house instead.

Clothes were strewn around the bedroom as you both rushed to undress one another, you bit down on your lip taking in all of his body in one look.

"Like what you see baby? You couldn't get enough the other day." Changbin teased you as he thought back on the morning you'd seen him in nothing but a towel, you whined at him before pushing him to lay down on the bed.

"Can you blame me? Look at you." You purred as you bit down on his bottom lip dragging it down as you then began to kiss down his neck, leaving a small mark as your lips travelled. Kissing down every inch of his body until you got to his boxers. Despite him still having his underwear on you could already tell how large he was from the tent in his boxers. Your mouth watered as you looked up at him, taking your hand and palming him through the thin black fabric. His lips parted to let out a low grunt as his head rolled back against the pillows of his bed, no one except for him had done this in such a long time he'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

"Oh shit." He whispered breathlessly as you continued to palm him slowly not knowing if he wanted it faster or not since you'd never discussed this before. Biting down on your lip your eyes were fixated on his erection, you pulled down his boxers and bit down on your lip you watched as his cock sprang up to his lower abdomen.

"Y-You don't have to-" Changbin was cut off when he let out a loud moan as you took the head of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the head while you looked up at him. His head was rolled back against the pillows with his eyes screwed shut, he was in ecstasy with every small kitten licks you were giving to him. Taking in some air you took all of his cock until he filled your mouth and hit the back of your throat. Scrunched your eyes shut you continued to bob your head around him, moaning whenever he would hit the back of your throat.

"Fuck Y/n. You're doing s-so good, oh fuck!" He grunted as he bucked up into the back of your throat. You hummed around him as he pulled your hair out of your face, staring at you to make sure this was okay.

"F-Feels so fucking good." He moaned out as he began fucking into your throat, his cock pushing in and out periodically making you gag around him but you did your best to keep your gags to a minimum wanting to please him. His grip on the back of your head tightened as he continued before letting go and letting you catch your breath, you pulled off and began pumping him.

"Look at you," He moaned out sitting up slowly as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip making you suck the string of saliva and precum from it.

"So fucking hot." He grunted out as you stared up at him, taking him back into your mouth and all the way to the back of your throat until you gagged again.

"Ugh shit," He moaned out as you began bobbing your head up and down around him, he could feel the smirk on your lips as you continued to take him into your mouth. You moaned out around him as you reached down to rub yourself through your panties, you hadn't realised just how wet you were getting from the ordeal.

"Do you want some attention now baby?" He cooed looking down at you as he removed his cock from your throat. You looked up at him with parted lips, nodding slowly. Changbin chuckled bending down to pick you up and lay you on the bed,

"Look at you," He whispered to you as he slowly pulled down the black lace panties yo were wearing and watch your arousal slowly stick to them. He chuckled darkly before kissing each of your thighs. Shyly you pressed your thighs together trying to hide from him but he spread them apart, kissing up to your core.

"You're beautiful, you don't need to hide." He promised you as he bit down softly on the fleshy part of your outer labia humming against your skin as you moaned.

"I've not even started yet," He chuckled before plunging his tongue between your folds, lapping over your clit as you bucked up against his mouth. Crying out his name as you screwed your eyes shut. Changbin chuckled against your core amused by the sounds you were letting out.

"You sound so good." He whispered to you as he continued pushing his tongue in and out of you, sucking on your clit whenever he wanted to. He laid your legs over his shoulders, pulling you to the edge of the bed to have better access to you.

"C-Changbin!" You gripped onto his black locks pushing him deeper into you as you began to feel dizzy from the feeling of him pleasuring you. Your toes were starting to cur as you felt your orgasm getting closer and closer with each flick of his tongue. Your mind was starting to go blank as he continued to fuck his tongue into you.

"C-Close." You whimpered as you looked down at him not knowing if he wanted you to cum on his tongue or not but the small pull on your waist as he stared into your eyes gave you all the confirmation you needed. He gripped onto your hips with one hand before pushing two fingers into you and began pumping them in and out of you. You screamed out as his name as your walls clenched around his digits tipping you closer to the edge.

"Fuck! C-Changbin please," You whimpered as you began to cry out his name, he continued with his thrusting fingers and he hummed against your core.

"F-Fuck!" You cried out as your cunt began to spasm out of control, clenching and unclenching around his fingers as your orgasm ripped through you. You were letting out loud desperate moans of his name as you bucked up into his mouth cumming on his fingers and tongue.

"Good girl," He whispered as he pulled his fingers from you, licking them clean as he kissed back up to your lips. Making out with you on the bed as he ground his hips down against your core, you wrapped your legs around his waist as you kissed him back.

"N-Need you," You whispered to him as you began pumping him in your hand between his legs, he looked at you nervously as reality began to set in. He had no condoms in the house since he'd not had any need for them the last couple of years.

"I-I'm on the pill and I'm clean," You whispered to him as though you could read his brain.

"M-Me too...N-Not that I'm on the pill that I'm clean-" You cut him off by kissing him again and giggling softly at how stuttery he was for someone who had just been eating you out like it was his last meal.

"Shh," You whispered to him as you began to line the head of his cock up with your entrance, running the tip over your core as you moaned out. He groaned out when he got himself wet with your juices,

"S-So fucking wet for me," He smirked going back to his previous attitude around you he continued to tease himself and you as he ran his cock over your opening. Pushing his hips forward until he sunk all the way into you making you cry out in pleasure and tilt your head back. Every inch of him was filling you up, you could feel him at your hilt.

Once he knew you were adjusted to his size he began to slowly push in and out of you, holding onto your hips as he made out with you lovingly.

"Mmm f-fuck," You cried out as your eyes screwed shut. His hips began to pick up speed as you dug your nails into his back.

"Y-You can go faster," Panted as you pulled away from the kiss, biting down on his neck urging him to snap his hips in and out of you. He grunted lowly as he positioned his hands either side of your head giving you the full view of the arms you'd dreamt over. His cock felt incredible inside of you, slamming in and out as he continued to piston his hips vigorously. You felt complete there with him, with his cock filling you up and every moan of your name that fell from his lips.

"I-I've been dreaming of this since the day you came here," He admitted as he continued to thrust into you, kissing down your neck as he held dug his hands into the pillows.

"M-Me too," You whimpered back to him tilting your head so he could have better access to your neck.

You were squirming and crying underneath him with every thrust, your heels digging into his ass as you tried to get him deeper inside of you as if it was even possible. It already felt as though he was rearranging your guts, you knew it wouldn't be long until you were cumming again.

"So fucking good." You mewled out as you looked at him, stuttering out the words as you lost the ability to speak the pleasure inside of you making your brain go numb. Changbin smirked as he began to fuck into you harder, moving his hands to hold your hips down to give him more leverage. Gripping onto your skin as he slammed into you, your screams filled the air with the sounds of your skin slapping together and wetness.

"Changbin!" You screamed out, gripping onto his huge biceps as he continued to fuck into you. Only getting encouraged from your moans, he looked into your eyes and chuckled. He could see how close you were getting,

"Close?" He questioned as he continued to slam into you, leaning down to kiss you sweetly, you nodded at him and grunted into your neck when he felt you clench around him.

"Cum for me," He whispered as he began to slam into you once again. Causing you both to cry out as your walls contracted around him. The walls of your cunt squeezed around him tightly as you felt your orgasm rip through you, Changbin moaned out loudly as he continued to fuck you through it.

You moaned out again when you felt him twitch inside of you pushing himself into place as he came into you, holding onto your hips as you kiss his cheeks and nose.

"S-Shit," You both breathed out heavily as he pulled out of you and laid down beside you on the bed both of you panting as you began to giggle softly turning your head to look at him.

"I-If it wasn't obvious before...I like you a lot." You giggled at him and he moaned out at the cheesiness of it.

"I like you too," He whispered as he linked your hands together on the bed, bringing your hand up to his lips as he gently laid a small kiss on it.

Changbin fed you strawberries as you laid on the sofa, you were dressed in one of his flannel shirts while he wore some shorts around the house.

"Open," You parted your lips waiting for the fruit and he smiled bending down to kiss your lips gently when he placed the fruit into your mouth you made sure to suck on his fingers and smirk up at him.

"What?" You giggled innocently and he shook his head,

"The real question is, are you ready?" You frowned at what he meant,

"Ready for what?" He began leaning down to you and kissed your lips, running his hands between your thighs and chuckling.

"Round 2." He chuckled evilly as he pulled you into a deep kiss, discarding the strawberries onto the table as he pulled you up to sit on his lap.

Humming to yourself as you rolled over you expected to find Changbin laying in the sheets with you but you were met by a cold empty bed, the sheets were cold so he'd clearly been out of bed for some time. You let out a whine as you thought about the night before, gripping onto the sheets around your body as the memories came flooding back to you. Round 1,2...3..4..eventually ending at 8 when Changbin couldn't keep going on or keep up but now the bed was empty you were confused as to where he could be. There was no note by the nightstand and his clothes were gone so you just assumed he'd gone back to working out front so you decided to surprise him. You slipped out of the sheets and walked over to the shirt of his you'd been wearing the night before and slipped into it, along with some panties and a pair of your short heading for the stairs. If he was outside working you would just take him a morning cup of tea and greet him with a small kiss, nothing seemed more romantic than that right now. Apart from maybe having Changbin back in bed where he could hold you for longer, you already missed his touch and longed for him to have his arms around you again.

"Morning, I made you a cup of tea..." You said to Changbin as you walked into the garage, he was covered in light blue paint, oil and sweat so he'd clearly been out here longer than you had originally thought. He was washing his hands on a towel when he came to face you, looking down at the towel instead of up at you.

"Why are you covered in paint?" You giggled as you handed him the warm mug of tea, taking in the appearance of his - what you assumed was originally a nice white tank top but now stained blue and black. He took the mug without looking at you and placed it down onto the table. He hadn't looked at you once which was starting to make you worry.

"I erm...I finished the car." He mumbled to you, walking in the direction of the garage doors. You frowned wondering which car he was talking about when you noticed the blue colour that he was covered in matched the same colour as your car but, you hadn't asked him for a paint job.

"Mine?" Your voice cracked as you questioned him. He began walking out of the garage nodding his head at you while he rooted through his pockets for something. You could hear all of the keys jingling around inside of there so he was probably looking for yours.

"I woke up at 2 am and I couldn't sleep so I just came and finished it. You can leave whenever you want." His voice was coming out cold as he spoke. You stared down at the floor he walked out without even so much as a glance at you, your heart was thumping against your chest.

Had the previous night's events meant nothing to him or had they completely slipped his mind? You felt the pit in your stomach begin to grow as you thought about him wanting to leave even after the night before. He told you he liked you, you spent the night together, kissing hugging, making love and talking with one another until you finally fell asleep with your head on his chest. It had been all you could think about since the moment you woke up and now that he was just brushing it under the carpet as though it happened all of the time for him. You worried if that was all it was to him, nothing but a one-night stand for him to shake off and leave. You hoped it wasn't but the ground felt as though it was pulling you into it with each passing second he had his back to you without mentioning the night.

"Do you want me to leave?" Your voice came out hoarse as you did your best not to cry right in front of him, the one thing you didn't want to do was influence his decision on letting you stay by your emotions. Changbin stared forward at your freshly painted car that was waiting for you to go of course he didn't want you to go. He wanted you to stay right here in his arms for as long as humanly possible but the thought of making you stay when you had so many plans to finish your road trip tore him apart. He didn't want to be the one to cut your dream short, he'd seen how happy and excited you were about the road trip, he wasn't going to be the one to ruin that.

"You have things to do. I have things to do." He said emotionlessly as he turned around to see you standing there in his shirt. His heart lept up at the sight of you in his clothes but then he noticed the tears welling up in your eyes as they began to turn red.

"R-Right...Yeah." You stuttered out blinking the tears away as you stared down at the ground, brushing your face off with your hands. He came closer to you to give you the keys to your car you snatched them from him rather quickly so you wouldn't have to look at him any longer,

"I'll pay you...T-Then grab my stuff." You mumbled to him as you felt your heart begin to ache with each passing moment he stared at you blankly. He pushed down the guilt he was feeling towards you all of the emotions he was feeling towards you and nodded his head.

"Sure. I'll write up the receipts for everything. The paint job was free." He grumbled as he walked past you without batting an eyelid, only confirming to you that last night had meant nothing to him. Sighing to yourself you began walking back to the house as quickly as you could not turning to look at him. Changing out of his shirt and putting on your own clothes.

Changbin stared down at his hands as he wrote down on the pieces of paper you would need for your insurance company, he couldn't help but feel awful for what he was doing to you but you deserved better than this. Better than him. He closed up the garage doors since it was closed for the day.

Felix: Get Y/n to come into the town when you've finished her car, I have cookies for her and you. It'll let her put the car to good use. Sighing to himself he locked his phone and looked over his shoulder, you were storming over to your car with tears gushing down your face. He already felt terrible for everything he was doing but he knew if he stopped you from leaving he would feel even worse. There was nothing worse on this planet than having your heart broken or your dreams cut short. Changbin had no idea that he was doing both of those with one swift action.

"Felix said he wants you to stop by town, he has some snacks," Changbin said as he brought over your receipt, you didn't say anything as you signed your details onto the form scribbling a signature along the bottom line and giving the pad back to him. Changbin frowned as he noticed it was yours and not some random insurance company that you were with.

"What?" You questioned looking at the expression on his face as you shut the hood of your car, taking the keys round to the driver's side door and opening it.

"Insurance companies pay for repairs, not people..." He whispered as he looked from the papers and up to your face.

"Not on mine. The car is too old." Your replies were coming out short and abrupt, Changbin didn't blame you since he was the reason you were upset in the first place.

"So where are you going next on your road trip?" He was doing his best to come across pleasant but you pulled you shook your head at him.

"Into town. Home. Can't afford the trip anymore and it seems like nothing is keeping me in Busan." You pushed yourself into the car avoiding eye contact with Changbin as you started up the engine resisting the temptation to tell him how great she sounded now. Changbin's heart fell into the pit of his stomach as he realised that you were just going to go home. Somewhere you had expressed multiple times that you didn't like and didn't want to go back to.

"Can I go now? Is the paperwork okay?" You questioned as you stared at him, he nodded slowly and you began backing out of the drive, ignoring the urge inside of you to look at him before leaving.

Changbin:: I fucked up. Make her come back, tell her she forgot something! Tell her to come back! Do something. Anything. You guys are good at lying! Changbin sent the text to the huge group chat that all of the boys were in and he panicked as he began to think of losing you forever. He didn't have a way of contacting you, your number wasn't on any of the paperwork just your name. He figured you would finish your road trip and move on but now that he knew you were just going to go back home he began to feel his heartbreak.

Changbin: Seriously this isn't a drill guys I need you to make her stay!!! He hit send followed by five of the siren emojis to show that this was an emergency and that they needed him t help fix this as soon as possible but none of them was replying to the messages. Just reading them without a word in response to him.

Hyunjin was the first to see, followed by Felix and Chan who were no doubt together at the markets which meant they could do something to help out. Fear began to set in as Changbin wondered if he could race into town after you and talk to you himself but he needed to stay here, in case with some kind of miracle the boys convinced you to come back.

Two hours later Changbin was sitting in his living still waiting for a response from one of the boys when his phone finally began to ping his text notification sound. He hadn't been able to sit still since the moment you left the drive. He'd been pacing back and forth having arguments in his own head about how he should have just told you to stay in the first place, there was no need for him to push you away when all of the signs pointed to you wanting to stay in the first place.

Felix: She won't stay. Says she's heading into Seoul for a few hours to sightsee? Maybe you can catch her? That was all Changbin needed just a chance, he could get to Seoul within four hours and make this all up to you. Fix everything and prove to you that this wasn't just a one night stand to him that the whole thing had meant more to him that he was letting on. Racing over to the door he grabbed the keys for his truck and began to rush out of the door, dropping the keys five times before he finally got into the truck and started it up. He would get to Seoul in four hours or less even if it resulted in some kind of speeding ticket he didn't care. All he cared about was seeing you one last time even if you yelled at him or cried at him for what he was doing he wanted to see you. Convince you to stay in Busan, with him...for as long as you wanted to.

Dropping the keys onto the table Changbin wanted to scream out in frustration. He'd gone into the city to try and find you but it was impossible since he didn't have your number and you hadn't told the boys the exact places you were going to go. He'd gone to every possible tourist place he could think of but you were nowhere to be seen so he headed home in defeat. Ringing the boys to try and get answers but none of the boys were replying or calling him back.

"Why the long face?" Changbin's heart jumped as he heard your voice come out of nowhere, you were standing in the kitchen pouring boiling water into eight different cups that were in front of you. He had been so lost in his own mind he hadn't even seen you walking around the house with the rest of the boys, all of them doing their own jobs in the kitchen and living room. As you poured out the water you turned to look at Felix,

"Lix can you get another mug?" You called out behind you but Changbin was just staring at you with wide eyes, trying to figure out if this was some kind of dream he was having but he didn't remember falling asleep. Maybe that he'd crashed on the way home and this was some kind of weird coma dream he was having about you.

"Jesus, you look like you've seen a ghost mate." Chan sarcastically called out as he walked into the house from the back garden looking around for some oil and the plate of meat Jisung was supposed to be prepared.

"What are you all doing here?" Changbin didn't mean for it to come out cold but he was confused as to what was going on around him, all of the boys were just chilling in the house. He stared at them all but his eyes went straight back to you as you looked up at him.

"I invited them over, I figured we could have a barbeque together. Chan brought his own, insisting it was better than the rust bucket you have sitting out there-" You mentioned as you walked over to Changbin, handing him the mug of tea as you smiled up at him.

"I agree by the way, why did you let it get so rusty?" You groaned at the thought of cooking food on something like that but Changbin stared at you as he shook his head, ignoring your question.

"I thought you left." He whispered confusingly, discarding the mug onto the table beside him and cupping your face in his hands as though you were the only ones in the room together. He ran his thumbs under your eyes and licked his lips as he resisted the temptation to kiss you.

"I did, I went to the markets and Felix showed me your many...many...many texts," You whispered to him putting an emphasis on 'many' since it hadn't just been two that Changbin sent to them all. When the boys began reading and not replying to him he began writing out essays about how he felt about you. Leaving out no details about why he wanted you to stay and how he needed you to come back to him.

"But I wanted to get back at you for making me feel bad...So I made them tell you I was out in the city while we came back here for this." You gestured around you as you looked around the boys who were all staring at you both waiting to see what would happen next. Changbin shook his head at you knowing he deserved a lot worse than just going into the city on a pointless goose chase.

"I don't deserve you," He whispered as he looked down into your eyes, leaning forward to kiss you. His eyes fluttered shut along with yours as your lips were about to touch when Jeongin cleared his throat. Standing beside you as he held out a bowl of potato chips for you to take some from, tapping the sides of the glass dish as he waited patiently.

"Kind of...Having a moment here-" Changbin nodded between you both but you grabbed the chips and smiled up at him innocently,

"I have to go and help cook. Go and change, you smell like oil and sweat." Tapping his chest playfully you headed out to the back yard where Chan was waiting for you to start grilling some meat with him. Felix smirked at Changbin who was staring off after you, only now did he realise you were back in the shirt from that morning. You had it tied around your midway as you paired it with some high waisted shorts, you looked amazing in anything but so much better in his clothes.

"I like her, she makes you work for what you want." Felix chuckled as he passed Changbin to head towards the back yard turning back to look at Changbin who was still a little lost on everything happening,

"She's right though, you stink." He called out right before going out of the door and greeting Chan and you with a hug.

Later that night when the boys were all passed out asleep in their spots on the sofa and the floor you were in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes. You wanted them to rest while you did the washing up since most of this had been your idea. Changbin walked up behind you snaking his arms around your waist and putting his head in the crook of your neck. He could feel your pulse began to quick against his lips as he placed a small and innocent kiss on your skin.

"I'm sorry," It was the first time he had said sorry to you for everything all night. You'd spoken to one another about other things but you never had enough privacy to talk about the one thing that was on his mind the one thing he needed to talk to you about.

"I never should have pushed you away...It was wrong." He admitted, looking at you in the small mirror above the sink, your eyes met as you smiled softly at him telling him it was fine with your eyes. He placed another kiss on your neck and you bit down on your lip trying to concentrate on the dishes rather than the way his lips were making you feel.

"I'm here now, aren't I?" You whispered to him as you drained the water from the sink turning around in his arms and wrapping yours around the back of his neck. He ignored the water trickling down the back of his shirt as he stared into your eyes. He had no idea how he was going to make up for what he'd done to you but, he was going to do whatever it took every day for the rest of his life if he had to.

"I never want you to leave again," He mumbled to you as he looked over at the boys, one of them was mumbling in their sleep as they turned over on the bed. Jisung snoring loudly, too loudly as though he was faking it so Changbin looked at you,

"Let's go somewhere we can talk privately." He pulled his arms away from your waist and took your hand into his, leading you up to the bedroom so you could talk without whispering or fear of being listened in on by some of the boys.

Laying beside him on the bed you let your head lay on his chest listening to the way his heart thumped against his chest as he drew patterns into your skin with his fingers. Neither of you had said anything since coming up the stairs twenty minutes ago, you just laid together in a comfortable silence just listening to one another's breathing. Enjoying the company you gave one another.

"I never would have pushed you away if I'd have known you weren't going to go on your trip...I didn't want to be the reason you stopped your road trip or your dreams..." He broke the silence as he said the same thing he had told the boys over their messages. He knew you already knew all of this but he wanted to tell you face to face. He owed you that.

"I pushed you away the first time because I was scared of what happened with Flair happening again...That night we spent together meant more to me than I could ever begin to tell you." His heart was beginning to beat faster as he told you everything that had been planning on his mind over the last couple of days. The truth spilling out of his lips like a tap that couldn't be shut off.

"Changbin you don't have to-"

"I want to." He stared down into your eyes as he sat you both up, sitting across from you as he stared back into your eyes. Crossing your legs you looked at him smiling weakly, you were getting tired from the night before and being up all day.

"For the first time in a long time, I've felt myself getting happier...To be honest for the last few days being with you has made me feel like I'm floating on a cloud." You laughed softly at the words he was using and he smiled, your laugh was like music to his ears he would listen to it all day if he could and would do anything to make you laugh.

"When Flair interrupted that kiss at the market it made me realise just how much I liked you. Before I would drop everything and go running back to her but with you it's different. You've taken over my heart and you're the only one who runs it now." You looked at him, your eyes were starting to tear up as he spoke exactly what was going on in his mind.

"I got scared. I pushed you away but I promise never to do it again if you promise to stay?" You looked at him turning your head to the side as if you were going to challenge him on what he was saying to you. You licked your lips slowly,

"Make me stay." You whispered softly to him challenging him as the corners of your mouth turned up into a smirk, he smirked back at you. Cupping your face in his hands before bringing you into a loving kiss just like the one from the night before, running his thumbs over your face. Sparks came flying from your body as soon as he touched you and your mind went blank, you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck as you rose onto your knees to deepen the kiss with him. Falling down to lay on top of him on the mattress as you both made out, slowly letting one another remove each other's clothes until you were in nothing but your underwear. It was going to be the best new start in a new town you'd ever had, you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life there with him.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @channiewoo @minholuvs @lkwonmj

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triggerhappyimagines · 3 years

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How about the V3 boys, (the ones who died) with a s/o whos the Ultimate Spirit Medium/Necromancer and they call the spirit of the dead character? I just wanna see some scenarios/hc's of that, if u could do it that'd be gr8! If not thats okay, i understand ^^

hey everyone, long time no see! sorry for sort of vanishing for a while, i’ve been super busy with school and my job and kind of lost interest in danganronpa for a little bit,,,, but i’m back and i’m gonna try my best to get through the requests in our inbox and maybe even try and finish a few more of the october prompts (if you guys would still be interested in seeing those!!).

anyways, sorry for the long wait on your request, anon! this was one i had started a few months ago back when i was writing regularly and i finally buckled down and finished it!! i decided to do all the v3 boys (except kiibo because uhhh hes a robot) instead of just the ones who died in canon to avoid spoilers for anyone who hasn’t finished the game yet!! i apologize if some of these seem repetitive i sorta started running out of ideas by the end lmao. i hope you enjoy, anon!

warnings: mentions of death/dying (obviously), general angst

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

Shuichi Saihara

— to say the least, Shuichi is a little shaken up now that he’s gone and you’re... well, not.

— he always told you he’d stay by your side forever, and he feels guilty. he feels like he broke a promise

— but... you talk to him again that first night. you say his name and look straight at him. can you see him? no, it couldn’t be... right?

— of course, once he puts all the pieces together, it all makes sense

— you’re the ultimate spirit medium, for goodness sakes! of course you can see him and speak to him the same way you would any other living person

— after a while, Shuichi stops feeling so guilty for leaving you. partially because it doesn’t feel quite like he’s abandoned you, and also because you reassure him that he didn’t do anything wrong by dying

— i mean, come on, it’s not his fault he got killed! how could you ever hold that against him?

— still, it takes him some time to come to terms with everything.

— though he loves you, he still finds it sad that he can never speak to anyone else ever again. at least, not without your aid.

— but as long as he has you by his side to help him cope... he knows he’ll be alright

— after all, he loves you, and you love him. and that’s enough to give him the strength he needs to keep from falling apart.

Rantaro Amami

— he's still very protective of you, despite the fact he’s merely a spirit now

— he’s always right by your side, no matter what.

— even when you aren’t able to take a moment to talk to him, or even look in his direction, Rantaro is right there

— if he were still alive, the way he now follows you around all the time may seem obsessive and creepy, but you actually appreciate it

— nobody else can see or speak to him but you, which makes his constant presence comforting, in a way

— Rantaro isn’t able to touch you in the same way he could when he was alive, but nonetheless, he still tries

— he’ll try to place his hand atop yours, or wrap his arms around your figure, but he always just passes straight through you

— you find the chill that blossoms on your skin where he touched you comforting; it’s a reminder that even though he’s gone, he’s still there with you

— it breaks his heart that he can’t truly be with you, but he tries not to focus on his own problems too much

— after all, your happiness is much more important to him than his own; you are his priority

— you’ll have to remind him that it’s okay for him to be sad, and that he shouldn’t bottle up his own emotions to be there for you

— he’ll want to keep being the person to take care of you, and watch out for you, but he needs you to be that person for him

Kokichi Ouma

— you didn’t really think Kokichi would start behaving himself just because he’s dead, did you?

— honestly he uses the fact only you can see and speak to him to his advantage

— good luck trying to keep your cool around other people while he’s off being a clown right in front of you

— but of course, he’s not all fun and games

— i mean... he’s dead. and that sucks

— he probably won’t show it, at least not right away, but he doesn’t like the feeling of separation between you two

— sure, he’s still around, but not like before. before, he could surprise you with a kiss or a suffocating hug, but he just can’t do that anymore

— it hurts. really bad.

— but he knows he’ll be okay. he know’s he’ll get used to it someday, as long as he has you with him to cheer him up when he gets especially sad

— you’re his sunshine, and he may not show it, but he needs you. so don’t leave him all alone, okay?

Gonta Gokuhara

— lets be honest... Gonta has the hardest time of the bunch adjusting to being nothing more than a spirit

— you’ll likely have to give him a lot of comfort. he’s confused, and he misses being able to be with you for real :(

— the hardest part for him is no longer being able to touch you

— he longs to feel your lips press gently against his cheek, to lay in your lap as your hands comb through his hair... he’d give anything to hold you in his arms again...

— unlike Rantaro, he’s not content with merely passing through your body when he makes contact with you

— it just... upsets him. it’s a cruel reminder that his life ended, and that he will never get to hold you, kiss you, and just love you the way he could before his life ended

— be patient with him, please... he’ll adapt eventually... but it could take a while

— just make sure to remind him how much you love him, he’ll need a lot of reassurance and comfort from you

Kaito Momota

— surprisingly, Kaito adapts to the situation pretty well

— if he is struggling with any sort of major emotions, he’s doing a stellar job of hiding it from you. and you hate that

— you don’t totally believe him when he says he’s okay, or when he tells you not to worry about him

— you know him better than that. it doesn’t make sense to you. he just died for crying out loud! he can never follow his dreams, never have the future he always wanted with you

— and you don’t understand how he can just shrug all that off and continue being your boyfriend like normal

— you confront him about it one night. he’s laying on his back, hovering beside you as you read (Kaito loves being able to float around in midair. perks of being a ghost, right?)

— "how can you be okay?" you blurt out suddenly. he looks at you, confused.

— you continue, asking all the questions that had been gnawing at you for days, and when you finally finish, he just laughs

— "of course i’m upset. but it’s a man’s job to protect the ones he loves! and being there for you is much more important than staying upset about this." he explains

— you can’t help but feel a little stupid. he’d always put you first, always prioritized your needs over anyone else’s, even his own. and he wasn’t about to stop just because he died

— fortunately for you, he isn’t upset with you sort of asking him why the hell he wasn’t a huge, depressed mess.

— in fact, he thinks it’s really sweet that, despite the fact you should be worried about yourself so you don’t end up joining him in the afterlife, you spent your energy fussing over him

Korekiyo Shinguji

— with Kiyo, not much changes. at least, not on his end.

— he’s very fascinated by the mere notion of being a spirit and has the time of his life unlife getting used to his new body

— at first you’re happy for him. i mean, it’s good that he’s not struggling, right? shouldn’t you want him to feel okay? you wouldn’t want him to suffer in sadness like you, right?

— but he’s so enthralled with his new state of being he... almost forgets to check up on you

— and even when he does spend time with you, it almost feels like all he does is talk about himself and the new things he’s discovered about being a spirit

— it’s frustrating, to say the least. you know you didn’t truly lose him, but it feels like you did

— when you finally tell him that you feel like he’s changed, he’s confused

— when Kiyo hears you say how much you miss him, how you feel like he’s so different now, he’s kinda just like ???????

— how could he be different? it’s still him, don’t you know that?

— after a long night of reflecting while you sleep (not needing rest is one of the many perks of being a spirit), Kiyo realizes what he’s been doing wrong

— you used to love when he’d talk to you endlessly about his work, his research, etc.

— but now, when he’d ramble on for hours about new things he’d learned thanks to being a mere spirit, it was just another painful reminder to you that he was dead. that he was gone.

— the moment he gets a chance, he apologizes to you. it’s a bit of an emotional moment for both of you, being the first time either of you have confronted the end of Kiyo’s life head on

— he tries to hold you, but all you feel is an icy chill where his flesh would have met yours, but oddly enough... it doesn’t make you feel worse

— you’d anticipated another tsunami of your own tears after Kiyo’s body passed through yours, but it’s comforting, albeit in a morbid way

— he’s gone, but you haven’t lost him. and you’ll never lose him; he’ll remind you of that every day if he has to

Ryoma Hoshi

— man, if you thought ryoma’s attitude and general outlook on life was depressing before, you’ve got a big storm coming

— for a long time after his death, he’s very... cold. to everyone and everything

— he’s upset. but not because he’s dead, but because he can’t protect you anymore

— being there for you, to defend you and keep you safe, had become his raison d’être, so to speak

— he knows you can still see him and talk to him. he’s not stupid. but he pretends he doesn’t hear you at first. part of him thinks that if he shuts you out long enough, you’ll come to your senses and realize you should be upset with him

— but you never do. despite what he thinks he deserves, you never turn on him, never give up on him, never stop loving him

— with time, he’ll come around and start learning to cope with his own death, and the fact you outlived him

— and you’ll be there with him every step of the way (whether he likes it or not)

#mod nagito #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa v3 imagines #korekiyo shinguji x reader #kokichi ouma x reader #gonta gokuhara x reader #ryoma hoshi x reader #shuichi saihara x reader #rantaro amami x reader #kaito momota x reader #drv3 x reader #danganronpa x reader #drv3

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

Text

MAYBE IT’S CALLED FATE

Prompt: Request, by the ever so lovely @auawdo Thank you so much for your request, pumpkin! I hope you’ll like it

Word Count: Long

Pairings: Seth Rollins x Reader

Warnings: Angst, smut(implied), cursing

Tag: @marlananicole , @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @yungbludjazz360

Notes: This has gained Seth a bigger space in my heart 🥰 Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) You can check them out on my Masterlist. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part, shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

PRESENT DAY

Staring out the big windows that display the snowy weather of Davenport, Iowa. I retraced the journey that lead me here...

FLASHBACK - 8 YEARS AGO

“Y/N? Where are you, babe?”

From the bedroom I heard the loud thump of his duffel bag being tossed on the floor

“Oh, there you are! I’ve been looking for y- Are you ok?” He urgently asks, running to me

“Seth, I need to talk to you”

“Uh Oh, those words are an omen for bad news” He whispered

“Please, seat down” I ask and he oblige

“I have to do this quickly, like a band-aid” I murmur to myself

“What will you have to do it quickly, Y/N?”

“I can’t stay here”

“What do you mean? You don’t want to live in Iowa anymore? That’s ok, we can move to Florida if-“

“No, Seth... I mean, I don’t think we should be together anymore” I whispered with tears in my eyes

“You wanna break up? But why? Have I done something wrong? Because if I did I’m sure we can work it out a-“

“No...”

“You don’t love me anymore?” Seth asked with hurtful eyes

“I do, I do but-“

“I love you too, Y/N. So, end of story!” He huffed

“Seth, I wish there could be an easier way-“

“Why are you doing this? What changed your mind? Did you fell in love with someone else? What is it, Y/N?” Seth screamed

“I don’t think it’s fair ok? Babysitting while I’m injured is not fair to you, having to stay here waiting for you to come home is not fair to me, holding you back from enjoying yourself with other women is not fair to you and wondering if you have been sleeping with other women night after night is not fair to me. So let’s stop it before we hurt each other”

“What? First of all, I don’t babysit you, I TAKE CARE of you because I love you! Second of all I NEVER cheated on you and you know that. I FaceTime you every night until I fall asleep, just so we don’t feel lonely, because I know how hard this can be! I’ve been on your shoes...And for the record, you’re the one who’s hurting me with this breakup bullshit thing”

Seth tugs on his hair from frustration, pacing around the room

“I’m sorry, but is for the best Seth” I caress his beard, memorizing every feature of his face

“These are the painkillers, the stress and the injury speaking not you...It’s not you, right baby?” He asked in despair

“I’ll always love you Seth, you’re an incredible man and someday you’ll find a very lucky girl who deserves you”

“No, I want you! You deserve me” He grabs my suitcase, trying to pull it out of my hand “You’re not leaving, I won’t allow it. You’re not going anywhere” Seth tugs on the suitcase.

“Seth, please don’t do this” I beg

“No” He sobs “Please don’t do this to me, please don’t leave me, Y/N. I need you, I love you, I can’t live without you” Seth grabbed my face softly in his hands “Please tell me that you’re kidding me, that this is a prank...Please Y/N this can’t be true. Tell me you still love me, that we’ll be together! I can’t-“ Seth began to cry uncontrollably

“Shhhh...I’m sorry, baby. You’ll be fine. I promise you, you’ll be ok” I try to comfort him

I laid with him on his bed one last time, enjoying his bearded cheek on my chest one last time. Running my fingers through his hair gently, reassuring him that it will all be fine. When his sobs were replaced by a soft snoring, I stand up from the bed, covering Seth’s body with a blanket. Pecking his lips for the last time, I grabbed my suitcase, slowly closing the bedroom door and leaving behind what it used to be my home.

FLASHBACK - 7 YEARS LATER

The last thing I wished was see him again, the last thing I wanted was to end up in SmackDown with him and of course that God was in his jokester mood today and decided to deliver me this little joke called fate.

“Y/N? I can’t believe it!” Roman ran to me, giving me a bear hug and successfully spinning me around the arena’s hallway.

“Oh Lord, calm down you Samoan beast! Jesus” I laughed loudly

“I didn’t knew you were back! Why didn’t you told me?”

“I didn’t wanted to draw to much attention” I trailed off

“Because of Seth?” Roman asked and I just gave him a sad smile as an answer

“You can’t hide forever, Y/N. You know that, right?”

“I know... I just need a few days”

“Or not” Roman said, pointing with his chin at someone behind me

I felt his presence before I could see him

“Y/N?”

I turn around to meet his gaze, it had a mixture between surprise, pain and...love?

“Hello, Seth”

“Oh my God, it’s been so long” He reaches his arms for a hug but ended up changing his mind “What are you doing here?”

“I needed a job, so” I laughed lightly

“I thought I would never see you again”

“Looks like destiny has other plans” I mumbled

......................................................................

For the next two weeks I bump into Seth everywhere I go: arena, hotel, gym, convenience store, liquor store, diner, bar, even at a club’s bathroom line! The chemistry between us was still there, awake. Even after all those years my body called for him like some sort of drug. And I would be lying if I said that I didn’t wanted him back, not just for the sex but for everything else.

I’m at the local Starbucks when I meet him again (it’s the fourth time today), I had to put an end to this so I decided to talk to him about everything that happened in the past.

“Sure, we can talk about it” He shyly answered

We chose a hidden bench at the local park to sit down

“Thank you, for agreeing with this”

“It’s fine, Y/N” Seth weakly smiles

“Well, first of all, I would like to apologize to you. For everything I did back then...I wasn’t thinking straight and I don’t know what took ahold of me to have made such a dumb decision”

“And it took you 7 years to realize that?” He asked, sounding hurt and mad at the same time

I shook my head “No, to be honest with you, I regretted my decision when as soon as I got home”

“Why didn’t you called me then?”

“Because I thought you would be angry at me, wouldn’t want to see me or talk to me. The mere thought of you rejecting me was unbearable” I whispered

“And how do you think I felt?” Seth spat “Do you think it was fun for me to wake up and find out you were gone? I called you Y/N, I texted you, I called your brother, your sister, even your mother! I sent you emails, I went to your house, I tried everything I could to get you to talk to me. Just so at least I could get some type of closure, but you never gave me that opportunity. You shut me off, pretended I never existed, erased me from your life and now you expect me to do what? To welcome you back in my arms? To say that I missed you and that I was waiting for you all those years? Is that what you want? For me to stop my life completely just so you can enter it again and ruin it again once you decide you‘ve had enough of me?”

The only thing I could do was to remain silent, I knew Seth and I knew that sooner or later he would end up lashing out and saying everything he always wanted to say for those past 7 years, so I just sat there and took it like a big girl even with the tears rolling down my eyes. Afterall, I was the one who brought that to myself.

“I can’t do that, I gave you too much power the first time and I will not give you the same power again! When you left I hit rock bottom Y/N, my life was partying, booze and pussy. I almost lost my job because of that! Do you know how many nights I spent awake thinking of you? Crying over you? Trying to understand what had I done wrong for you to leave me like that? Do you know how many women I fucked thinking about you? Wishing they were you? Wishing to wake up in the morning and find you laying there by my side? Wishing that it was all a nightmare? Now you come here, 7 years after the shit storm and say that you’re sorry and that the thought of me rejecting you was unbearable so you just left? You know what, Y/N? Fuck you! Fuck you and your shitty apology, I don’t need this bullshit! I’m better without you, now I can fuck whoever I want, whenever I want. Without having to worry about their incapacity of having a relationship because of their stupid and childish commitment issues” He stood up and left

And now, by the irony of fate, I’m the one who gets abandoned now.

......................................................................

I got his message that day in the park, he doesn’t want to talk to me, so I do exactly that. I leave him alone. I never met him at random places anymore after that day.

It has been a month since I came back and any hope I had of settling things with Seth went down the drain.

I’m finishing zipping up my duffel bag when someone knocked on the locker room door

“Yeah? It’s open” I screamed

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

My heart stopped when I heard Seth’s voice

“Hi, umm sure. What’s up?” I ask

Seth closed the door behind him

“Can we sit down?” He points to the small leather couch

I nodded, sitting down by his side

“I wanted to apologize to you” He started “The things I said to you that day at the park were unnecessary, I should’ve dealt with it in a better way”

“It’s ok, Seth. We both know I deserved” I weakly smile at him

“No, you didn’t! Even though I was confused and hurt, I didn’t had the right to do that to you. I truly am sorry”

“It’s ok, buddy. Apology accepted” I patted his knee and he holds my hand there

“I’m going to ask you something, but I need you to be completely honest with me, ok?”

“Of course”

“Do you still love me?” He asked and my whole world stopped

I looked down to my feet and honestly answered “I never stopped loving you, Rollins. No matter how hard I tried”

His only response to me was a cheerful grin.

1 YEAR LATER - PRESENT DAY

“What are you doing staring out the window, baby? It’s fucking freezing! Come back to bed” Seth’s arms circle around my waist, trying to pull me back to bed

“I’m enjoying the snowy morning view” I chuckled

“Meh” He scoff “I have something more interesting for you to enjoy if you come back to bed with me” Seth smirked

“What possibly could be nicer than this view”

“Hmmm, I don’t know...maybe something thick and warm that slides in and out of you, maybe?” He bites my neck and I can’t help the little moan that escaped my lips

“That sounds fun” I grab him through his boxers, teasing him

Seth moans “Oh you’re gonna regret that”

He picked me up in his arms right before tossing me back onto his bed....

Please if you’re comfortable with it let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

#seth rollins smut #seth rollins fanfiction #seth rollins x reader #seth rollins one shot #seth rollins imagines #seth rollins #wwe x reader #wwe smut #wwe one shot #wwe imagine #wwe fanfiction #masochist writes

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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“QUEER”

First of all, let’s clear up a common misconception. Queer does not just mean gay. It’s an umbrella term for an identity which deviates from society’s perceived norm: heterosexual, or straight. Queer can refer to sexualities — gay, bisexual, pansexual, — or it can refer to being gender-queer; i.e, any label that deviates from the perceived gender norm: the binaries, male and female.

“Queer” is a reclaimed slur.

If you do not fall under the umbrella of queerness, it is safe to assume that you cannot use it. At all.

I am bisexual.

This means I experience attraction to plural genders. Pansexual also works fine. For the difference between bisexual and pansexual — see here:

Being bisexual isn’t easy. I went through similar hardships to gay women: I experienced attraction to women and was scared of what this meant for me, in such an oppressively homophobic society.

I am not saying being bisexual is harder than being gay, nor the inverse. But my experiences are distinctly bisexual, not gay.

Without further ado, here are the 3 things I’ve found to be the hardest about being queer, but not gay (enough).

#1: Finding My Place

Or, not being queer enough

I always knew I wasn’t straight, but I didn’t know what I was. Up until recently, I was still questioning. This didn’t feel enough to join groups or conversations with LGBT+ folk, let alone go to pride. Was I even LGBT if I was never L, G, B, or T?

I am still yet to attend a pride, even though I identify (fairly confidently) as bisexual. I am in a relationship with a man. This is (problematically) known as a “straight-passing relationship” and makes me feel even more undeserving of a place at pride.

This has been upsetting to me at times. But for others, it can be outright devastating. Growing up and needing support, but feeling like you’re ‘not gay enough’ to ask for it? So many young people are being left alone and afraid. Finding others like you is vital to figuring out who you are. Likewise, finding spaces which are safe and inclusive is vital for anyone, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. A friend of mine happens to be a transgender man, and he summed up the issue perfectly:

“One thing that I keep noticing is how all hangout spots are “gay bars”, or (far less common) “lesbian bars”. I’m a straight man, so I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be there, but hanging out at regular bars is still too much of a gamble, so I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

It goes without saying that gay folk aren’t always safe in these spaces, as seen by the homophobic attack on the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, in 2016. Bigotry hurts the entire LGBT+ community. Bigotry doesn’t stop to ask whether you identify as gay or otherwise queer before it pulls the trigger.

But the LGBT+ community itself is much more welcoming to those who “pick a side” and just come out as gay, already. The infighting is inexplicable when one looks to attacks such as that in Orlando: bigots don’t care which letter you are in the acronym. So why does gatekeeping exist when we need to be strong in the face of intolerance when fragmentation only makes us weaker? Who are we helping by continuing to exclude identities from the discussion?

#2: Myths and Misconceptions

Well, it stands to reason that if bisexuals are what they seem in TV and movies, why would anyone want to make them feel included? They’re “greedy” and inauthentic. They’re attention-seeking, not to mention their propensity for threesomes. Now, I haven’t been in a wild orgy yet, but it seems like it will only be a matter of time before I follow my natural path.

Straight men, in particular, need to own up to their assumption that bisexual women are down for a threesome. The thing is, we are. But not with you, you big ASSUMER.

Infidelity

All jokes aside, the stereotyping of bisexuals is not only hurtful, but leads to difficulties finding and maintaining relationships.

As I came to terms with my bisexuality, I also had to accept that I might never be fully trusted by my partner, regardless of their gender or sexuality. I was shocked when my partner reacted to my coming out with the equivalent of a shrug — so much so, that I burst into tears of gratitude that my soul-bearing moment hadn’t been met with slut-shaming or assumptions of disloyalty. Nothing has changed. If anything, our bond is even stronger for me having been more authentic after coming out.

But cruelty came from elsewhere: when I came out, I was told that my partner was to be pitied, either because I’m gay and in denial, or bound to cheat on him. The main consequence of such attitudes has been the crippling fear of coming out to my partner. It saddens me that I felt so relieved when he accepted me for being who I am, and loving him just the same as I always have.

This outcome is not the case for many couples, with straight folk worried that their bisexual partner will realise they’re gay and just leave them. This fear of abandonment comes from a place of ignorance. When the media presents bisexuality as a steppingstone on the way to “picking a team”, it’s no wonder that people struggle to trust their queer partners.

Other Queer Myths

The myth that all trans folk medically transition invalidates those who choose not to do so, and let’s not forget the ignorant jeers that it's all just a mental illness. Asexual folk battle the stereotype that they can never have a relationship and shall forever remain a virgin (because what an awful thing that would be, right?) And pansexuals… well, at the lighter end, they’re asked if they have sex with cooking utensils. But often, they’re erased as irrelevant because “we already have the label bisexual”.

This brings us onto the third and final difficulty that comes with queer folk who aren’t easily categorizable as gay: erasure.

#3: Erasure

Erasure refers to the denial of an identity’s existence or its validity as a label.

Non-binary folk face ongoing and loud claims that they simply do not exist. This is despite the historical and scientific evidence to the contrary. Plus, the most important evidence — them, existing. Asexual folk are told they simply have not found the right person yet, or that they are just afraid of sex. Demi-sexual folk are told “everyone feels like that, unless they’re just sleeping around!”. And bisexuals are dismissed as simply being in denial that they’re gay.

Monosexuality & The Gender Binary

Our culture is so built on monosexuality (being solely attracted to one gender — for instance, gay or straight). Monosexuality is reinforced through everything from marriage to dating apps, the media to what we teach in schools. People cannot fathom that someone might want to experience more than one gender in their lifetime.

The binary models of sex and gender are also deeply ingrained. These rigid belief systems combined are to blame for our inability to accept that bisexuals do not need to “pick a side”. I was paralysed by fear for 17 years because I found girls attractive and that might mean I’m gay, because bisexuals are just gays who haven’t realised they’re gay yet.

Bierasure

Bierasure is dangerous, firstly because it leads a child to have to internalise both biphobia and homophobia. For instance, I had to work through being taught to hate gayness, whilst being taught that any attraction to non-male genders made me gay.

Women were cute, and so I was gay, and this meant I was disgusting.

My own mother told me this. She also told me that something has “gone wrong in the womb” for a child to be gay. (Well, Mum, I’ve got some bad news about your womb!)And she, like any bigot, extended this theory to anyone who experiences same-sex attractions — anyone queer. This is another reason why bi-erasure is perilous. Whether you’re a gay, cis-male or a demi-bisexual, trans woman… if your parents will kick you out for being gay, they will likely kick you out for being any sort of queer.

If we deny the bigotry that bisexuals undergo, we will continue to suffer. It won’t just go away. It will fester, with bisexuals having no one they can go to who believes them. And thus:

Erasure Kills

Bullying and suicide rates of queer-but-not-gay people continue to sky-rocket. We must direct funding, support and compassion to every queer individual, as they are all vulnerable to discrimination and bullying. The problem is being left to fester. This is in part because bigots treat all queer labels as just ‘gay’, deeming them equally unworthy. This is how far erasure can go.

Conclusion

Earlier on, I stated that my experiences are distinctly bisexual. The same applies to any queer identity.

Emphasising our differing paths and struggles is important to avoid the aforementioned erasure of already less visible groups. But this does not mean that the LGBT+ community should be fragmented by these differences.

If we can unite in our hope to live authentically and love freely, we will be stronger against bigotry. We are fighting enough intolerance from without: there is no need to create more from within.

So out of everything, what’s the hardest part about being bisexual?

It’s the fact that nobody knows it’s this hard.

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triptuckers · 3 years

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Not if it’s you - Din Djarin

Request: no Pairing: Din Djarin x reader Summary: After months of traveling the galaxy with each other, Din tells you he needs to continue his quest alone. You don’t know what caused the sudden change of heart and you’re hurt, but leave nonetheless. But after being around him for so long, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be on your own. Warnings: angst, language, slight season 2 spoilers Word count: 4.2K 😳 A/N: Based on a text post I found and a video I saw on instagram. Italics are flashbacks. Enjoy reading! :)

You’re miserable. And cold. And lonely. You’re not used to it. Well, you’ve been miserable and cold before, but it’s been months since the last time you’ve felt lonely. You almost forgot what it felt like.

Up until a few days ago, you weren’t miserable and cold at all. And certainly not lonely. You were aboard the Razor Crest, accompanying a certain Mandalorian on a quest. It came out of nowhere to you, you thought everything was well between you. More than just well, actually. Perhaps you were wrong.

‘Say that again.’ you say, trying to keep your voice from breaking. You can’t see his face, but his helmet lowers. He can’t even look at you. ‘You need to leave.’ says Din.

‘I’ve been here for months. Trying to help you on this quest of yours. Delivering the kid to the Jedi. I’ve helped you on your path to find other Mandalorians. I thought we’d stick together no matter what.’ you say.

Though it feels broken, your heart is still beating rapidly. You can feel it in your throat while you fight the tears. It feels as if an invisible hand is slowly closing around your throat, making it hard to breathe.

‘You need to leave.’ says Din. ‘Please.’

The invisible hand disappears, and a new emotion takes over: anger. He had the audacity to tell you to leave. After everything you’ve been through. You’ve travelled the galaxy with him, taken care of him when he got in a fight, offered to take care of the kid so he could rest, made sure he ate. You did everything for him.

But that’s not what makes you so angry. It’s the fact he can throw it in the garbage like that. You care about him. Maybe more than you’ve ever cared about anyone. You have to admit it’s scary, but you’re willing to reach out and grasp the feeling with both of your hands. Worst of all, you thought he felt the same.

All those hours you spent talking about your cultures, people and home planet. All those hours you spent getting to know each other, letting each other in your hearts. Apparently it meant nothing to him.

‘Why?’ you say, anger slowly rising in your voice. Din sighs deeply. ‘Please, just leave.’ he says.

‘Why?’ you repeat. ‘I need to be on my own.’ he says. ‘There’s a planet nearby where I can land. There’s a city where you can-’

‘So that’s it?’ you say, getting angrier. It’s getting harder and harder to hold back the tears. ‘You’re just going to kick me off the Razor Crest? You’re just going to abandon me on the nearest habitable planet?’

‘I’m not abandoning you.’ says Din. ‘Of course not!’ you say loudly. ‘I’ve just served your purpose and now you don’t need me anymore! Now that I’ve done what you needed me to do, you’re just going to shove me away!’

It startles Din how angry you are, how loud your voice is. He’s seen you get angry before. He’s heard you shout before. But you’ve never been angry before. Sure, you could get annoyed by him, but it never turned into anger. And you’ve never shouted at him before. It hurts, but it’s for the best.

‘It’s for the best, Y/N. Please believe me.’ he says. ‘For the best, my ass! You’re fucking pathetic, Din!’ you yell at him. ‘This is why you’re always alone. You just push people away when they’ve pleased you. The only reason the kid stays with you is because he doesn’t know any better, but I bet you he’d leave you if he could!’

Behind his helmet, tears form in Din’s eyes. The feeling’s strange to him, as it doesn’t happen often. He’s standing there, helplessly, tears in his eyes. He looks at you. You’ve always had to look up to him, because he’s taller. Your hands are fists and your face is red and tears stream down your cheeks. Before he can say anything, you’ve pushed past him.

He turns around and his heart sinks as he sees you randomly grabbing your stuff and shoving it in your bag with such force you might rip it. He’s silent as he watches you collect your stuff. Without a word you march to the back of the ship, opening the door.

Sunshine fills the ship, illuminating your figure as you stop. Din looks up, thinking you could change your mind. But you turn around and he’s shocked. The anger is gone. But the look in your eyes is colder than the Beskar steel hugging his body.

‘I don’t even want to be here anymore.’ you say before walking off, leaving the Razor Crest and a heartbroken Mandalorian behind.

Din wanted you to leave. He needed you to be gone. You’ve done as he asked. He should be relieved. But he’s not. He sniffles as the tears finally roll down his cheeks, down his neck and into the collar of his shirt. You’re gone. Just like he asked you to. He broke your heart and his along with it.

You sigh and let your head rest against the rock you’re sitting in front of. It had been days since Din asked you to leave. You still didn’t know why he wanted you to leave. You’ve spend many hours thinking about it, but you can’t find the reason why.

Din was the only person to truly know you. You had told him many stories of your home and your childhood, along with your greatest fears and deepest desires. And in return, he had told you his. You felt like you were meant to last forever. Maybe the feeling was never mutual.

You hug your arms tighter around your torso. Desert planets were unbearable during the day but just as much during the night. Your coat is thin, and your fingers are red due to the cold.

You’d been on the planet once before, briefly. Din needed to get some information and because you were tired, and hadn’t slept in nearly three days, you decided to stay on the Razor Crest. Every now and then you woke up when you heard the sound of droids outside the ship, or the woman who owned the place.

Peli was a wonderful woman, and you got along really well during your first time the planet. Maybe she could tell you where you could get a ship so you could get out of here. If you could only reach the city. It’d be a journey of three days. Two if you’d be fast. But you were almost out of water and food. You’d probably collapse before you’d reach the city.

Your mind wanders off to Din again. Where would he be right now? Could you track him and catch up with him if you had a ship, or would he be long gone? What if you never met again, and he forgot about you?

You certainly wouldn’t forget about him. You cared too much about him to just let him go. Maybe you even loved him. Maybe you’d loved him for a while now, but you were just too scared to admit it. To him, and to yourself.

Whatever the feeling was, it was making you miserable. Because you hated being away from him, and because you had no idea where he was, and if he would miss you as well.

Suddenly, the loneliness fades and you get up, determined. If you had to, you’d crawl to the city on your hands and knees. You’d go to the city, find Peli, ask her if she had a ship for you or knew someone who could sell you one, and you’d track Din’s stubborn ass, and tell him you weren’t going anywhere.

Rubbing your hands together to try to warm them, you begin your journey to the city. It’s still cold, but your determination makes it less horrible, and your walking pace speeds up as you think of Din somewhere far away on his ship, with the kid in his lap.

The journey ended up being two days. When you first saw the city, you thought you were hallucinating due to the lack of water and food. But as you kept walking, the city appeared closer and closer, until you walked through the gates, onto the busy street.

There’s a market and you buy some food at the first stand you see. The next stand over has water, and you gladly buy some. You ask the seller where to find Peli, and he points to the end of the street. You thank him and hurry towards it.

You’re impatiently knocking on her door, waiting until it finally opens. Peli is frowning but the frown quickly disappears when she recognises her visitor.

‘Y/N!’ she says happily but also a bit surprised. She looks behind you but when she catches your eye you shake your head.

‘You don’t have to look for him. Mando’s not here.’ you say. ‘Shame. Was hoping he’d have that green little cutie with him.’ says Peli. ‘It’s just me today.’ you say. ‘Well you look like you’ve been through hell and back, come in.’ says Peli and she steps aside to let you in.

‘What do you need?’ she says as soon as you’ve followed her into her workspace. Her droids are running around, making little chittering noises.

‘I was hoping you’d have a ship you’re selling?’ you ask hopefully. You know it’s a long shot, but it was worth trying. ‘A ship?’ she says. ‘Technically not.’

This time, it’s your turn to frown. ‘What do you mean “technically not”?’ you say. ‘Well I have one fuelled up and ready to go, but it’s not mine.’ she says. ‘I was supposed to deliver it to this crappy looking kid, but he never showed up. Didn’t even pay me, and some of those parts were expensive.’

‘So you have a ship that’s ready to take off?’ you say. ‘Yep.’ she says. ‘Why do you need it though? Thought you were still with Mando on that piece of trash he calls a ship.’

‘So did I.’ you mutter. ‘We got, um, separated. I need a ship so I can track him down.’ ‘You know what, I like you. I like your Mandalorian and that kid of his as well. You can have that ship if you’re willing to pay a little more than the original prize.’ says Peli.

‘He’s not really my Mandalorian, you know.’ you say and Peli raises your eyebrows. ‘So, how much credits do you want?’ you say hastily.

Less than ten minutes later, you’re on the ship. It’s tiny but, as Peli described it, a whole lot better and much cleaner than the Razor Crest. You’re headed to the last known location of Din, hoping to find someone who has information on where he is. It wouldn’t be likely, though. But you are determined to find him. He wouldn’t get rid you that easily again.

But the searching is slow. You could only expect Din to cover his tracks, as he had taught you to do the same. Only a few people had seen him around or talked to him. It took you months to get your first solid lead. You’d run into a man called Cobb Vanth, who had met Din some time ago. He was eager to help you find him. With Cobb’s help, you figured out where Din would be headed for next. When you took off, leaving the planet and Cobb behind you, you felt like you actually had a chance to see Din again.

Still, after Cobb’s lead, it took you a while to get to the planet he’d told you about. You’re afraid Din’s already left when you finally land on the planet near one of the bigger cities. You spend all day asking around if anyone had seen him. When the days comes to an end, you’re in a bar. Sipping on your drink, you’re wondering what to do next, when you catch a few words from some people sitting at the table next to yours.

‘Yeah, of course I saw that. Do you know how much that Beskar armour is worth? We’d be rich.’

You immediately abandon your drink and head over to the table. The two men sitting at the table look at you. You feel uncomfortable as one of them takes his time to look at you.

‘Well, hello there, sweetheart.’ he says. ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ ‘You can if you tell me what I want to know.’ you say. ‘Have you seen a Mandalorian around here?’ ‘I sure did, sweetheart.’ he says. ‘Yesterday. He was getting a drink. Talked to someone for a while, then took off again.’ ‘Anything else?’ you say. ‘Yeah. He had a weird green dog with him.’ says the man.

‘Thank you.’ you say and you turn around and head towards the door of the bar. However, before you can reach it, you feel a hand grab a hold of one of your wrists.

‘I still need to buy you a drink, sweetheart.’ says a voice so close to your ear you can feel his breath on your ear. Within seconds, you flip his arm and pin him against the table, your blaster poking in his stomach.

‘How about next time, sweetheart?’ you say with a smile before pushing him away from you and exiting the bar.

Darkness is setting in as you’re heading back towards your ship. You knew Din’s ship wasn’t with the other ships of travellers passing by, you’d searched for it when you first arrived.

When you’ve reached your own ship, you pack some essentials in your bag and head towards the forrest instead. You figured he’d lay low there for a while. These days he was one of the most wanted people in the entire galaxy. Leaving his ship next to a big city was basically sending a distress signal saying “I am here, come and get me”.

It’s dark in the woods, and you can barely see a thing. But you trust on your instincts and senses to lead you through the forrest. After some time of walking and occasionally stopping to see if no one followed you, you notice there are less trees. Every now and then you can see the stars through the leaves.

You walk for a few minutes before you spot a big dark shadow ahead of you. There are no trees surrounding it, though no one but a skilled pilot who knew his ship well could land there. With one hand on your blaster, you slowly move closer to the ship.

When you’re several feet away from the ship, a tall figure appears in front of you, aiming a blaster to your face. You’d be alarmed if it’d been anyone else. But you’ve spend too long around him to not recognise him.

‘Hi Din.’ you say and you raise your hand to push his blaster away from your face. He doesn’t say anything, so you walk past him towards the Razor Crest. Just as you’re about to enter, you hear his footsteps catching up with you and his gloved hand grabs a hold of your arm, making you turn around.

His helmet is close to your face. ‘What are you doing here?’ he says. You’re so glad you’ve found him, you’re nowhere near intimidated by his actions. ‘I told you to leave.’ he says.

‘And you think I’d listen to you?’ you say, failing to suppress a smile.

Once again, Din is glad he’s wearing a helmet. Otherwise you’d be able to see the immense relieve on his face. He can barely stay mad at you. Because he told you to leave and you found a way back to him. Though he’s relieved to see you, he’s also disappointed you’ve found him. He told you to leave for a reason. And though you didn’t know that reason, not really, you’re back.

‘Y/N, you need to leave.’ he says, keeping his voice steady and somewhat firm.

Again, he sees anger appear on your face and you pull your arm out of his grip. ‘Are you fucking serious right now, Din?’ you say. ‘Listen to me, Y/N, you-’ begins Din but you’re quick to interrupt him.

‘No, you listen to me Din!’ you say. ‘Do you know how much time I spent to get here? How much effort? First I had to spend two days alone in the desert with no food, no water whatsoever, then I spend almost all of the credits I had left on a ship which I flew from planet to planet talking to anyone who might have caught a glimpse of you or the kid. I spent months trying to track you, and just as I was about to give up, I overhead a conversation in a bar that was about you, and I headed to these woods and I found you, Din, I found you and you tell me that I need to leave again?’

‘Y/N, you don’t understand.’ says Din. ‘Then explain it to me.’ you say, almost begging. When he’s silent, you get angry again.

‘Why do you want me to leave? What could possible make you want to get rid of me?’ you shout, not even worrying about the fact someone could hear you. ‘I’m staying, Din. Wether you like it or not.’ you say.

‘No.’ is all he says. ‘You can’t stay.’ ‘Why the fuck not?’ you yell at him, getting so close to him your forehead is almost touching his helmet. He takes a step back.

‘Come on, Din, you’re acting like a fucking child. If you don’t want me around, at least tell me why.’ you say.

‘I was afraid!’ yells Din. This time, you’re the one to take a step back, looking at him. There it finally is, the reason why. But you still don’t understand.

‘Afraid of what?’ you say. Your voice is calm again and to Din you sound like yourself again. No raised voice, no yelling. It’s your voice like it is in his memory.

‘Afraid of you getting hurt.’ he admits. ‘I was afraid because I care too much about you. I felt like if something happened to you, if you got hurt - or worse, that would be on me. And I couldn't handle that. So I pushed you away. I needed to distance myself from you.’

All of the anger is gone as you look at the man standing in front of you. His helmet is lowered just as it did the last time you saw him. You slowly take a step closer to him. You hesitate for a moment, but then take his hand in yours. Din sighs so softly that you wouldn’t have been able to hear it if you weren’t standing so close to him.

‘I’m sorry.’ he says. ‘I know I hurt you, I never meant to. I just figured that a life with me is no life at all. I wanted you to have a better life.’

‘Oh, Din.’ you breathe out. ‘Listen to me, if someone wants to be with you, nothing will keep them from being with you. If someone wants to be in your life, nothing will keep them from being with you, nothing, you hear me? You may think a life with you is worthless but I don’t think so. I’d love it.’

Din shakes his head. ‘You don’t understand. A life like mine? Forever? I can’t do that to you. You’d always be on the move, you wouldn’t be able to settle down and have a quiet life.’ he says.

‘What if I don’t want a quiet life?’ you say. ‘What if I want a life like yours?’ ‘I wouldn’t want that if I were you.’ he says. ‘I’ll take care of you.’ you say. Din shakes his head again. ‘It’s rotten work.’ he says. ‘Not to me. Not if it’s you.’ you say.

‘Maker, Y/N, you make my life so much harder and so much easier at the same time. How do you do it?’ he says. ‘Driving you you crazy is part of the job.’ you say and Din chuckles. It’s a wonderful sound you haven’t heard in so long.

Din lifts his helmet. You can’t see his eyes, but you’re sure he’s looking into yours. ‘What do you know about Mandalorian culture?’ he says. ‘Only the stories you told me, why?’ you say. ‘Did I ever tell you about the Keldabe kiss?’ he says. ‘No.’ you say. ‘Tell me.’

‘It’s... a way to show affection and love.’ says Din. ‘You know that I’m not allowed to take off my helmet. The Keldabe kiss is a way to kiss someone without taking off my helmet.’

You’re quiet as you look at him. You’re still holding his hand. Inside your chest, your heart is beating rapidly. You’re surprised he can’t hear it.

‘What’s it like?’ you say so softly your voice is barely audible. ‘Like this.’ says Din. He moves his free hand an rests it on the back of your head. He softly pulls you towards him and rests his helmet against your forehead.

It’s so simple, yet so intimate. It’s the closest you’ve ever been. You close your eyes, focusing on the cold Beskar armour against your skin. In all those hours you spent wondering why Din would push you away like that, you never once thought he would do it because he cared too much about you.

After some time, Din pulls away but keeps his hand on the back of your head. ‘I’m sorry.’ he says. ‘Please never leave me again, cyar’ika.’ You smile when you look at him. ‘Is that also from your culture? What does it mean?’ you say. ‘Cyar’ika?’ he says and you nod. ‘It means...’ he’s silent as he searches for the right translation. ‘Beloved.’

You gasp quietly when you hear it and underneath his helmet, Din smiles at you. This time, you lean in to press your forehead against his helmet. ‘I like it.’ you say softly and Din squeezes your hand with his.

‘Do you trust me?’ asks Din. ‘Yes.’ you say without hesitation. ‘Close your eyes.’ he says. ‘And don’t open them until l say you can.’

You’re a little confused, but obey nonetheless. You close your eyes and feel Din pulling away his hands. You then hear a faint hiss and a click. This time, you gasp loudly, you know what he did.

‘Put it back on!’ you say. ‘You can’t take your helmet of in front of me!’ ‘Keep your eyes closed, cyar’ika.’ Din says.

His voice sounds different. It’s not modified by his helmet, it’s his true voice. You find yourself longing to hear more of it. You’re waiting for Din to say something, when you feel something instead. You never even dared to imagine what it’d feel like.

You feel a pair of soft lips against yours. You’re surprised at first, but you quickly melt into his touch. Din can feel you smile through the kiss. Before you can stop yourself, you reach up to touch his face, but Din’s hands catch yours and he gently pushes them down.

When he pulls away, you keep your eyes closed, still a smile on your lips. You hear a click again and Din’s fingers intertwine with yours.

‘You can open your eyes again.’ says Din. And so you open your eyes, beaming up at him. ‘I couldn’t wait any longer.’ he says sheepishly and you smile even wider.

‘What do you say, want to come with me again? I’ve still got to deliver the kid and it’d be nice to have some company.’ says Din. ‘Of course I want that.’ you say. ‘Look, I’m really sorry. I hurt you and I-’ ‘It’s okay.’ you say. ‘You made up for it.’

Suddenly you feel something tugging on your pants and you look down at your feet to see the kid looking up at you.

‘Hi there, little one.’ you say and you bend down to pick him up. ‘Missed me, did you?’ you say and the little creature looks at you with his big eyes. He snuggles closer to you and you notice his eyes are immediately getting heavier.

‘I still don’t know how you do that.’ says Din. ‘All you do is pick him up and he falls asleep.’

‘It’s just a feeling, I guess.’ you say, looking at the little kid in your arms. ‘This one looks as tired as I feel.’

You hold out one of your hands to Din while still holding the kid against your chest with the other. ‘Come on.’ you say. ‘You can use some sleep as well.’ ‘How do you know that?’ he says. You lift your head to look at him. ‘You probably haven’t slept since you landed on this planet.’ you say.

Din grabs your hand and allows you to guide him inside the Razor Crest. ‘I forgot how well you know me.’ says and you smile. ‘I don’t think I could ever forget anything about you, Din.’ you say.

‘Oh, Maker. Don’t ever leave again, cyar’ika.’ says Din softly, sending shivers down your spine. ‘Well, if you don’t ask me to leave again, I promise you I’ll stay forever.’ you say and you smile at Din. ‘Please do.’ says Din and he pushes his helmet against your forehead one last time.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading!

Much love, Jo

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i-may-have-a-point · 3 years

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Review of 17x14 “Look Up Child”

It has been three years since I wrote my last review of a Grey’s Anatomy episode. After Sarah left, I stepped away from my fan accounts and did not plan on ever looking back. Somehow though, through the dedication of our captains and the strength of the Japril fandom, we got one more episode that confirmed what we have known all along – Japril is forever.

The episode opens to Jackson driving through a storm and we can see in his eyes that he is fighting an internal storm as well. He winces at his injured hand while his mind flashes through thoughts of holding Harriet with April for the first time, the pain of watching April marry Matthew, and meeting his dad. These moments, along with many others have led Jackson yearning for more out of life, and so he returns to Montana hopeful he will find answers there.

The last thing Robert Avery expects, for a second time, is to find the son he left behind standing in the doorway of his restaurant.

“Everybody alive?” Robert asks.

Jackson making this journey again, after the way they left things before, could only be for one reason in Robert’s mind. Jackson reassures him that is not the reason he came, and Robert relaxes easily into his friendly charm, offering coffee and a place for Jackson to “take a load off.” He has no idea of the “load” Jackson truly bears.

Robert is awaiting the arrival of his co-worker so they can deliver pre-packaged meals to families in need in their community. This gesture may seem small, but to Jackson, this is a subtle sign that he on the right path. There is more he can do than what he has found within the walls of Grey-Sloan Memorial. Their small talk is awkward, and Jackson wants to get right to what he came for – answers. Robert has other ideas. There are sandwiches to be made and they can talk while they work.

After following Robert to the porch, Jackson realizes this sandwich-making process is going to be more time-consuming than he thought. And so is getting the answers he came for. He reiterates to Robert that he doesn’t want anything from him – not turkey, not coffee – just answers.

Jackson presses his dad for information about why he left the foundation, the problems he saw with it, and Catherine’s perspective on it all while Robert deflects the questions with vague answers and praise of the ham and turkey sandwich. Robert is not ready to answer these questions because answering them would mean dealing with the memories of the past and the regret he carries. So instead, he smiles kindly and puts Jackson in charge of the meat slicer, which leads to the first moment in Jackson’s life where his dad taught him how to do something. (Although we all know he didn’t teach him well!) This interaction allows Jackson to let his guard down just slightly and they find they have some common views on the Avery name, money, and pressure that comes with it all. Jackson tries some of Robert’s “best in the state” turkey and Robert opens up about his own shame and abandonment by his father. It seems pain runs through generations of Avery men.

Maybe it is that realization, or the cup of Robert’s coffee in his hand, that makes Jackson relax enough to begin opening up. He shares his desire to do more to change the system has seen fail so many people. He isn’t even sure if he can, but he knows he feels compelled to try. Robert agrees that people should do what makes them happy. He did and he “never looks back.”

But Jackson does. He can’t stop looking back and wondering why his dad was absent from every moment that mattered.

“I realize that it’s really messed me up…pretty badly. And, um, it just made it hard to maintain relationships and stuff. Having this inclination to run away all the time. And I know, I know, running away doesn’t actually solve anything. I know that. So…and I’ve tried. I’ve tried really hard to rid myself of the shame and the pain that comes with all that, and uh, you know just kind of doubled-down on being the best at everything – the best father I could possibly be. I probably stayed in my marriage longer than I should have, went along with foundation business longer than I should have, but no matter what, when it gets rough I just end up right there, running into the woods trying to fight the you in me.”

What begins as a tearful explanation builds to all of Jackson’s pent-up emotions overflowing at his dad. He is distracted and emotional, cutting his hand on the slicer with blood pouring out, while his heart pours out at the same time.

Robert tends to Jackson’s injury, and they both feel it is a simple gesture that holds more weight than they know what to do with. Robert tries to make light of the situation by joking about a family practice, but it is the idea of them as family that sends Jackson to find fresh air on the porch. It is here where Robert finally answers Jackson’s question of “Why?”

Running is what Robert does when things get too difficult, and that is what makes Jackson so afraid. He feels the same pull. Just before he cut his hand, he was running down the long list of things he feels he has done wrong. Does he truly believe he stayed in his marriage too long? No. But to Jackson that is just one more way he is like his dad. He is so messed up by the fear of turning into Robert that he breaks things off before they get too difficult, before he gets to the point Robert did. If he can maintain a safe distance to the important things in his life, he won’t lose them and he won’t be like Robert. “My divorce…maybe that would have been a good time for you to step in and share some wisdom.” This isn’t who Jackson wants to be, but he is too scared of moving in either direction – scared of moving both toward or away from the things that matter, like April. So instead, he suffers in an ambiguous middle ground. One where he hasn’t completely abandoned anyone or anything and one where he hasn’t fully committed to anything either. It is a balance he has tried to find for years, but it is also what is breaking him now.

Truth be told, even Robert cannot fully run from what matters. From his cabin in the woods, he admits that everyday he regrets leaving, and he buys gifts for a little girl he has never met in hopes that one day he will.

“You’re not a runner. If you were, you’d have been long gone by now…you have it in your soul to do the right thing. To makes things right. And you didn’t just fix a disaster, you made it better…on your worst day, you are ten times the man I am.”

And it is with those words Jackson makes his decision. He is going to do the right thing. He is going to take what seems like a disaster and make it better.

Arriving back in Seattle, Jackson goes straight to the people who matter most.

Catherine is his first stop. He needs her blessing to take over the foundation. Their money and influence can make life better for all people by bringing justice and equity to medicine and build a better future for Harriet. Catherine��s Mama-heart breaks a little to see him go, but she cannot deny how proud of him she is.

With the rain still coming down, Jackson rings April’s doorbell and stresses over how he is going to approach asking her to move across the country for him. How can he explain to her that this is not impulsive, this is not something he is doing on a whim?

Yet, when the door opens, all his insecurities are quickly forgotten because seeing April only reminds him of why they have always been each other’s person and how she has always trusted him no matter what. She trusted him the night of the boards with her heart and virginity, she trusted him with the decision to induce her pregnancy with Samuel to stop his pain, and she trusted him to run away from her wedding and the life she thought she was supposed to have. But this is different. So much has changed in the past few years. Would she trust him now?

Jackson will have to wait to find out, though, because April is frantic. Harriet is sick and April cannot get her fever down. Jackson sees how stressed she is and immediately gives April what she needs. He takes Harriet into her arms, both consoling her and helping April calm down and have a moment to breathe. They fall into their usual banter and affectionate teasing.

Their conversations and interactions throughout the episode give us small glimpses of what we should have had the past several years had their story been written they way it should have been. They naturally fall into their place as the loving, concerned parents unable to sleep while caring for their daughter. They move through the house and around each other as if this is a familiar dance that they have done hundred times before.

Harriet’s sickness doesn’t seem to be the only thing April is stressed about. Her living room is strewn with laundry and she quickly tries to clean it up while Jackson reassures her in his “bank voice” that it is fine. Too many pillows, but otherwise, fine. Jackson continues Daddy Duty by dancing with his daughter and April gets a chance to take a much-needed shower…until the storm knocks the power out.

Jackson and April alone at night in a storm, surrounded by candles, is the perfect set-up for an epic reunion, and while they may not have utilized the kitchen counter like we wanted them, too, they did reconnect on a level of clarity and maturity that shows how much they have grown.

There is also that not-so-little issue of Matthew. Japril fans spotted early on that April was missing a particularly important ring, but it was even more telling when Jackson asked her directly if her and Matthew are happy, and she responded with simply, “We are busy.” For a marriage that the terrible writing of season 14 wanted us to believe was ordained by God, how sad that you can’t even pretend to be happy. That one line conveyed so much more than what was stated. It was clear from that point that Matthew and April’s marriage was over.

April is not the only one beating around the bush. She quickly calls Jackson out on his “cagey” behavior of commenting on her exposed brick instead of saying why he actually showed up at her house late at night in the middle of a storm. She can read him so well she knows there is something more, which is when we finally find out his plan – he is going to take over the Avery Foundation. The catch is, that means Jackson, as well as April and her family, have to move to Boston.

April responds by questioning if this is what Jackson actually wants because it never was before. Is he going to move to Boston and then fail or regret his decision? And while this seems unsupportive and harsh, April has to ask these questions because, as we find out later, that is exactly what happened to her. She thought she was choosing the right path by marrying Matthew, but not only has their marriage failed, she regrets that they even tried. But Jackson doesn’t know this yet, so to defend his decision he uses Matthew proposing to April as an example of how he unconditionally supported her which not only hints at Jackson’s jealousy, but reinforces April’s fear that making a decision this big may not be the best choice. She sees happiness for Jackson in the safe choice. He can continue to rebuild faces, give little boy’s hands, and help people breathe again. Maybe if she can convince him to stay with what he knows he won’t feel the hurt she is feeling right now. “Why would you want to give all that up?”

Jackson knows he can do all of that and more in Boston. He can make a positive change in medicine, April can continue her work with the homeless, and Matthew will just follow because it is April, and that is the one reason Jackson likes him. “He is gonna want to follow you anywhere.” Jackson understands the urge to follow April anywhere. The night continues with wine, snacks, and comfortable conversation but they don’t come to an agreement on what their future holds.

The storm breaks and morning comes. Jackson, recognizing that April has been overwhelmed lets her sleep in, and she wakes up to the sounds of Harriet and Jackson happily eating breakfast and we get a glimpse of their happy, family mornings that we all know Boston will bring. The three of them laugh and talk over pancakes, orange juice, and throw pillows and April admits that she should have been more supportive of Jackson’s plans. If only they could get their timing right.

The morning has brought with it clarity for April and she tells Jackson her answer is yes. Yes, she believes he is “that guy.” Yes, she believes this could work. Yes, they are going to Boston. Shocked and surprised, Jackson offers to help talk to Matthew, but we find out that won’t be necessary. As most of us suspected, the marriage that should have never happened is over. One of the best lines of the episode is the slight dig that the writers (Sarah/Jesse?) took at the ridiculous story of April marrying Matthew. “We kept trying to tell ourselves that our whole winding road was God’s plan to bring us back together. But he was still so angry and hurt. I mean, I left him at the altar and his wife died. You know, you don’t just stop feeling hurt ‘cause it’s a better story if God brought us together in our pain.” Enough said. And as much as we are not sad to see Matthew go, April is hurting, and Jackson recognizes that. He takes her hand in a small gesture of comfort because he never wants to see her in pain. (Thank you, Jesse, for improvising that.) He gave her a reason to smile again. Their family has a fresh start ahead in Boston.

The episode closes with Harriet calling out for “Mommy and Daddy” as Jackson pulls April into a hug before leaving to prepare for their move, and April folds perfectly into his arms where she is supposed to be. Fingers crossed for new horizons. Maybe they finally did get their timing right.

#japril #japrilendgame #aprilkepner #jacksonavery

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procrastinatorproject · 3 years

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Fic writer review, thank you to @thelaithlyworm for the tag <3

how many works do you have on AO3?

Ten? Oh no, it’s actualy 12 now!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

86,468

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Grand total of 1: Star Trek: Picard - although my latest offering might branch a bit into other Trek as well.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Passengers”

“And a Barrel of Gagh”

“CMO’s Log”

“Preparations”

“Game Night”

Which is actually kinda interesting. I wrote Passengers, Preparations, and Game Night while the fandom was still a lot more active (especially in the Aramis in Space corner), so that makes sense. The CMO’s log has had chapters added every few months, giving it probably the most exposure of any of my fics. Barrel of Gagh, though? I think I’m gonna attribute that to Thimblerig turning it into a truly, TRULY brilliant piece of podfic. Also the fact that it’s whump involving a character played by Santiago Cabrera. ‘tis A Thing..... :D

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to! I love talking with people in the comments and just... thanking the people who found the time and energy to leave comments. But especially in the last few months I have gotten very bad at keeping up with the comments and now there’s about two dozen that I have neglected to reply to for a painfully long time 🙈

But I will get there! Because I love that kind of interaction!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

So far, none of them have had angsty endings. Angsty middles, yes, but not endings. I’m just a sucker for everyone being happy in the end. Or at least on the way to being better, and supported and cared for on that way.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t yet, but I’m definitely not opposed. One of the threads of my 200k unpublishable whump scenes takes place in a continuity that has existed in my daydreams for... I wanna say six years at the very least, probably longer. It’s mostly straight-up Star Trek, but with the twist that it involves the Wraith, the telepathic, hive-minded alien race from Stargate: Atlantis that suck the life force out of you with their hands? Or, well, at least a variation thereof.

I once typed up the world building for that particular setting and it took me three hours to try and make it all make sense. So it’s... involved. But not necessarily “crazy”. And I’m not sure I’m ever actually going to publish any of the stories I have set in it (not least because that would envolve finishing any of them and bringing them into a form that is interesting to read for anyone but me...)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Hm, not yet. I do enjoy reading smut, but only under very specific circumstances. I think I may eventually try my hand at smut, but the inner prude is still very strong. Writing about Rios and Xyr making out (which, honestly, was really tame, all things considered) made me melt in a puddle of blushing embarrassment, so full-on smut is probably beyond me at the moment. One day!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though litigating that in a fandom like ours would be... tricky. ST:Pic is way too small to steal stories outright. But similar or the same ideas pop up all the time. And it’s a complete coincidence. Reading the book that recently came out and that has a kinda similar setting to a lot of my stories (pre-season 1, early in Rios’s history as captain of Sirena, dealing with original characters, holo shenanigans, friendship with Raffi, etc.), I was struck by just how many elements, both scenes or story beats and little details, were similar to things that have cropped up in my writing. And it is entirely coincidental, because I am beyond certain that the author doesn’t read fanfic. Just... for legal reasons. Not to mention I wrote a bunch of the things I saw parallels to while the book was already in production, and some of them are only in my drafts.

So there is a ton of convergent evolution going on in this particular section of the fandom, and trying to litigate who came up with certain plot ideas or character beats when would be a sysiphean disaster. Some things are clear and whenever I use any of them I give credit where I can, but people will have very similar ideas. It just happens. So no, I haven’t had either a full-on story or “an idea” stolen, and I might change my tune if it ever does happen, but so far, I’m trying to practice equanimity, so I’ll be better at it should I ever need it.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly no. My dad keeps complaining that all my fic is in English so he can’t read any of it, but honestly? I’m kinda glad for this very convenient excuse. Maybe if I ever feel like I want to practice my interpreting skills, I will give translating the stories into German a shot. We’ll see. Otherwise, if anyone feels inspired: Have at it! Just let me know, okay?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not quite. I have a draft of off-the-cuff worldbuilding that I wrote on Discord with @curator-on-ao3 and that I would love to turn into an actual short fic (letters from a conference on holo-ethics), but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

what’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t really do shipping.

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT!!!! One day, I will write the next installment of Star Trek: La Sirena! I have so many ideas for that continuity and those characters. I’m not going to abandon them!

what are your writing strengths?

Hmmmmm. Probably detailed worldbuilding? Ask me something about, say, a technological or cultural aspect of Star Trek and chances are, I have thought about it in the past or will come up with three different sets of intricate lore within half an hour. (Things like... the architecture of San Francisco, or Will there still be taxi drivers? or the treaty between IKEA Intergalactic and the Borg Collective, or the Universal Translator, or Emergency Services or Why There Are Very Few Ambulances On Earth Anymore etceterah etceterah...)

I’m also good at slapping together off-the-cuff plot ideas (if, say, you need an explanation for how Seven and Agnes ended up stranded on a desert island, I could probably give you three different scenarios pretty quickly. Just don’t ask me to make them poignant or actually write them.

I’m also very, very good at beginnings.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Everything that isn’t a beginning. Especially endings, or rather: finishing something, but also just... keeping momentum.

I think my dialogue is somewhat samey and not distinct enough between characters. (Also my witty banter is... let’s just say it doesn’t come to me naturally...)

And I also struggle with keeping things brief and to the point. I can write you 30k of whump covering a span of three hours, but fitting a whole story in the same space? Much more difficult!

I have also avoided writing full-on action so far, but where it has crept in it has always been a struggle and been workshopped a lot with the indefatigable beta.

Otherwise, I don’t know. My self-perception is always a little warped, so I’m not sure what other people would say my weaknesses are.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oof. Well. I have used Spanish sentences in my fic and done the thing where they’re translated in the end note, but I’ve mostly done it sparingly. I’ve also done the ‘“What do you want?” he said in Spanish.’ It’s tricky. But I will likely keep doing it in some instances, even if it’s a bit annoying.

(It also really helps to have a native speaker of Spanish as a beta, even if it’s Spanish from a different region than you’re character.)

Speaking of regional: I’m also torn about the whole “phonetically writing out accents” issue. Some people love it, some people hate it, I’m really unsure because I’m not a native speaker of English, so I’m not even sure I’m consistent in my narrative voice’s regional quirks. So far, I’ve mostly gone with describing that an accent is happening, and only writing out when phrasing actually differs from standard English. Like Ian (Scottish) saying “dinnae” but not writing “I” as “ah” as you’d see on, say, Scottish twitter.

Though it can be a very useful tool if, for instance, you want to indicate a characters accent getting stronger as they get tired or upset. 🧐

Anyway, I don’t think there is one right or wrong answer here and everyones milage will vary.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Published? ST:PIC

Actually first? Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Pretty much simultaneously, though I did write more for LotR. On graph paper, mind, with my fountain pen turned upside down so I could write smaller. I still have folders worth of those stories that I urgently need to digitize before they fade and I lose them forever...

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m going to quote @thelaithlyworm here: I Love All My Children Equally! I honestly couldn’t say. They are different and I love them for different reasons but I love them all.

Thank you for the tag! ❤ I’ve kinda lost track of who all has done this already or has already been tagged, so feel free to ignore me! But I tink I’m tagging @curator-on-ao3, @aini-nufire, @29-pieces, @flowers-creativity, @highfunctioningflailgirl, @cristobalrios and @the-goofball. And anyone else whom I forgot or who feels inspired to do this!

#ask meme #writing #lili's writing adventures #this was fun!

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asiminthering · 3 years

Photo

[ID - a sketch Tatooine desert, with the setting twin suns in the background. Two small figures stand on top of a dune, watching the Jabba Palace get blown up in the distance.] (ID by @lastwordbeforetheend)

Sketch & Snippet based on an exchange with @lastwordbeforetheend about how as much as Boba, King of Tatooine or Crime Lord Boba are cool, it might be also fun to see more stuff with Boba just going back to being a bounty hunter. Here’s Boba and Fennec blowing up Jabba’s Palace before peacing out.

Boba stood with Fennec on the rocks a fair distance from Jabba’s Palace. Luckily, the place had been pretty much abandoned aside from Bib Fortuna’s mercenaries and a few slaves he could afford to keep, so there weren’t many people to clear out. They’d shot any mercenaries that hadn’t run once Fortuna was dead and let the slaves go. He’d settled on the throne just to see what it was like – he didn’t fancy himself a Hutt, but it was somewhat satisfying to be up on the dais looking out over the empty court.

Still, he didn’t want to be stuck on this dust ball forever. The Tuskens had helped him when he’d been spat out of the dying sarlacc because they were somewhat impressed he was still alive, but he hadn’t earned years of medical treatment, water, or food just from that. He had an agreement to keep. Many Tuskens had long hated how close the Palace was to the Dune Sea compared to most other settlements on Tatooine, and they wanted it gone.

Now that he had his armor back, he could pay his debts and be done with this place. Done with Fennec too, maybe. He’d started to understand the Tuskens better when he’d saved her. It was partially because he was impressed she was still alive but also because he’d thought someone like that could be useful. They were both the type that didn’t like to be indebted, so he’d told her if she helped him get his armor back and pay his debts to the Tuskens, he’d consider them even.

It’d been kind of nice having people – people not in carbonite – on the Slave though. He’d gotten used to others being around at almost all hours with the Tuskens, and the silence of his empty ship had sometimes felt oppressive, before Fennec, before the others.

He’d get used to it, though. He’d gotten used to it before.

Now they stood well away from the Palace, anything potentially useful had been stripped out and piled on the Dune Sea side for the Tuskens or Jawas to pick through if they wanted. The charges had been set – and there were a lot of charges. Boba had to use almost his whole supply to have even a hope of making the palace collapse in one go.

Neither he nor Fennec actually had actual demolition experience, but luckily they weren’t trying to knock something down that was actually near anyone or anything else, so if they got it wrong it would be fine. If anything too big survived he’d hit with a missile to see if that helped.

He selected all the charges in his HUD and looked over at Fennec. “Ready for the show?”

“Just blow it up already,” she said. She’d been kind of antsy since the fighting had finished. He understood – it could be hard to come back to a place where you almost died. He’d spent enough time on Tatooine afterwards by necessity to not be bothered as much, though.

He pressed the detonator on his vambrace and there was a boom-crack like thunder, before smoke started billowing out of the base of the Palace and it started going down. It actually sank kind of sideways off the cliff it sat on, with the tower toppling over almost in one piece. The top dome piece stayed mostly together until it hit the ground far below with a whumph, shattering into large pieces. Some of the metal foundations were still intact, but now that they were exposed Boba was sure they would be gone shortly too.

Metal was too valuable to stay for long.

The watched the dust cloud for a few more minutes, and then he started to see movement in the Sea. He wasn’t sure which Tusken Clan would be the first to arrive, and he didn’t really want to stick around to see if it was one he was friendly with or not.

Finally, Fennec let out a sigh and rocked back on her feet a bit. “Where to?”

Boba looked over at her. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? Where can I take you?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t know. I’m still being hunted by the ISB, maybe the New Republic, too. A pre-Empire ship seems like a good place to work from, if its owner was a friend. For a cut of my profits, of course.”

Boba tilted his head. His father had always cautioned him against having friends, but then again, he’d also cautioned him against keeping his armor too nice. He’d worn all the scuffs and dings, even if he didn’t really like how worn it looked, because he’d wanted to live up to those scraps of knowledge he had.

And then, in hyperspace after Tython he’d gotten out the paints, intending just to touch up the stripes on the helmet. Hours later, he’d finished repainting the whole thing. He liked how it looked.

Maybe it was age. He was the same age now his father had been when he’d died, and yet somehow he’d been given another chance his father hadn’t. Boba wasn’t right about everything, so maybe his father hadn’t been either.

“He might be a friend,” Boba said casually. “You going to work as a hunter?”

“I was thinking it might be time for a career change,” Fennec said. “And I think I’ve got an in with the Guild.”

Boba snorted. “Let’s find the Guild branch in Mos Eisley then.” He turned to walk back towards the Slave, and Fennec fell in step with him.

Yeah, maybe having friends was nice.

#the mandalorian #boba fett #fennec shand #sketch #fanart #ficlet #sksn

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mostlydysfunction · 4 years

Text

Sacred Part 2

Summary: Tusk has made his decision, something that changes both his and Chloe’s lives forever.

Pairing: Yautja x human OC

Warnings: Some violence, shitty Yautja anatomy descriptions, some fighting, a little blood, smut

A/N: OMG I did it. I finished part 2. I’ve literally been working on this since I wrote Part 1 like three months ago. My muse bit me in the ass and here we are. BONUS: extra love to whomever can figure out the ending....

Part 1| Masterlist|

Tarei’hsan frantically presses buttons on the console, the ship shuddering as shots are fired at them. Chloe is safely tucked away in a pod, strapped in and ready in case things go wrong. The coordinates are set, ready to send her to the nearest oxygen-based planet. All he has to do is press a button.

He weaves the ship, dodging fire as he attempts to start a jump. He needs to get as far from there as he can, his ship only capable of taking so much fire. Things had not gone as he’d hoped. He had thought they were in empty space, but it appeared there were others in the area.

He had abandoned the idea of returning to his Clan Ship. There was a chance they would be killed on sight. There was a chance they would kill Chloe and make him watch. There was a chance she would be hated for her entire time there, shunned by the males and scorned by the females. He couldn’t put her through that. So he had changed course, cut the ties with his clan, and sent the ship off to empty space where he would have time to figure out where they were going to go.

But then she’d come in, smelling like sweet meat, clean and musky and he’d completely lost control. He’d mated with her, lost himself in her. He’d let his guard down and now they were being pursued by another spacecraft. He had sent the ship right into a trap and now he was paying the price.

He curses, steering away from another blast. The ship was almost ready, vibrating from the force of the damage and the power needed to make such a big jump. It was the safest place he knew for both of them and their best bet on a place to lay low for a while.

The wormhole opens in front of him, his ship jumping through, thankfully closing before the other ship can follow. He slows his ship down, preparing to enter the atmosphere of the planet before him. He keeps Chloe stored away, wanting to be ready for anything. She would forgive him later, he’s sure of it.

He lands on the planet, kicking up dust as he sets the ship down roughly. He runs a scan, pulling up everything that’s damaged. He’d need to do repairs before they did any more serious traveling. He makes sure the cloaking is on before he leaves the pilot’s seat, heading back towards the pods. He opens the pod, catching Chloe as she slides out. It would be a few minutes before she would wake up, so he returns to the pilot’s seat, holding her in his arms.

She’s soft and warm against him, and he can’t help but remember how she’d felt wrapped around him, tight and wet. He’d let her dominate him, let her take control. He’d wanted to fuck her like a female but he knew she was more fragile, more delicate than the females of his kind. He didn’t want to risk hurting her. She’d been so receptive to him, the sounds she’d made, the way she shivered when he touched her. He can feel himself getting hard again and pushes the thoughts away. That was for later.

Right now, he needed to find them someplace to stay, someplace to lay low.

Chloe starts to shift in his arms, groaning a little as she stretches. He purrs quietly to her, smoothing a hand down her back. She groans again, nuzzling closer to his chest. He stares down at her for a moment, tracing her features with his eyes. Yautja don’t define beauty in the same way humans do. Yautja don’t have a concept of beauty at all. Strength, power, hunting, and fighting abilities. Those were things Yautja took into consideration when looking for mates. But this small ooman, pathetically weak compared to him, had warped his ideals. She had wormed her way into his mind, into his heart, and changed him. But he had been the one to let it happen, too. He had let her worm her way in, twist him inside, change him. He liked it.

He leans back in his seat, cradling his tiny ooman in his arms. His clan may not agree, may not accept her, but he was willing to let it all go, leave it all behind for the sake of his ooman. His Yeyinde.

Chloe starts to stir again, Tarei’hsan’s helmet picking up her rising heart rate and her quickened breaths. He doesn’t loosen his hold, staring down at her as her eyes flutter then open. She frowns for a moment, looking around, her body tensing slightly.

“Tusk.” She says, her voice groggy and rough.

He purrs in reply, shifting her slightly to free one of his arms, reaching out a clawed finger to brush a stray hair from her eyes. He lets the claw trace lightly down the side of her face, watching her struggle to come out of the drugged sleep she had been forced into. He had given her half a dose, knowing her biology was different, and regardless of his blood running through her system, he could have easily killed her with a full dose.

“What...happen...”

“Attack.” He says, searching for the words in his database. “Hostile ship.”

“Where are we now?” She asks, rubbing her eyes.

“Safe.”

She groans, laying her face against the armor on his shoulder. He continues to hold her, hoping he did the right thing. Hoping he made the right decision. He was forever an outcast, leaving his clan, his family behind, all for this tiny, fragile human in his arms. Was she worth all of it?

Yes.

He could start his own family, his own clan. He had heard of it being done. Bad Bloods did it all the time. He would be his own leader now.

********

Chloe rubs at her eyes, bare feet kicking up sand as she follows close behind Tusk. She was still groggy and disoriented, but Tusk had told her that would wear off soon. She pulls the blanket tighter around her, picking up her pace so she doesn’t get lost behind the long strides of her alien companion.

She hadn’t gotten much out of him, not that she had asked much to begin with. Wherever they had ended up, he had deemed it safe enough for them, at least for the time being. Chloe starts to get flashbacks to the time she’d watched Star Wars, being reminded of it as they enter the metal building. It wasn’t enough that she was being reminded of it, she’s living it. She was on an alien planet in outer space. Obviously one that was heavily trafficked, as the many ships sitting outside had told her.

She keeps her head down, a blanket covering her as she sticks close to Tusk nearly pressed up against his back. He’s speaking with someone she can’t see, not that she really wants to. It was enough of a shock to register the fact she wasn’t on Earth anymore, let alone the fact she was with an alien...an alien she had fucked...to try and wrap her brain around the fact there were more aliens around her. They were all aliens to her. Or was she the alien?

Chloe grips the back of Tusk’s belt as he speaks with someone, pressing up against his warmth. It had been warm outside, but the metal floor is cold against her bare feet. Thankfully no one seems to pay them any mind, giving them a wide berth in fact. Perhaps it was the nature of her companion. Or maybe that was just alien etiquette.

She’s pulled along as Tusk begins to move, making his way through crowds of creatures. Chloe keeps her head down, holding onto Tusk as he weaves his way towards a staircase, heading up. She nearly runs into his back when he stops, heading down a hallway before opening a door. She’s ushered inside before he closes the door, the airlock hissing. She pulls the blanket down so it’s wrapped around her shoulders, looking up at him. He’s at the small window, glancing out. Chloe takes a moment to look around the room, taking it in.

Had she not known she was on a different planet, she would have guessed she was in some sort of strange hotel. Maybe something one would find in Roswell or the Southwest. The entire room is metal, giving it a very futuristic look despite the obvious wear and tear. There’s what seems to be a bed in the corner, and a desk in another. There’s a door next to the bed, what she assumes leads to the bathroom. What she hopes leads to the bathroom.

Tusk moves from the window finally, making his way towards her. She looks up at him, craning her head to see him as he stops inches from her. He lifts his hand, clawed fingers tracing over her cheek before his palm presses against her skin. She leans into his touch, letting her eyes flutter closed.

“What happens now?” She asks, lips brushing the rough skin of his palm.

“Stay until safe.” He says through his helmet, claws running through her hair gently. “Then...I don’t know.”

She opens her eyes, looking up at him. “We’re not going to your clan are we?”

He shakes his head. “Too many...risks. Not...worth it.”

Chloe frowns slightly, pulling away from him and sitting on the bed. He watches her, mandibles clicking in confusion.

“I can’t help but feel this is partially my fault. Actually, it is all my fault. I’m the reason you can’t go back to your family. Your clan. You did all this for me and now you can’t ever see them again.” Chloe runs a hand through her hair tugging on it slightly. “Your entire life is ruined because of me.

The hand on her shoulder startles her. She had been so lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t even noticed him move close to her. Her back hits the mattress with a hard thump, nearly knocking the wind out of her. It’s not as soft as she’s used to, not even the pile of furs she’d been sleeping on the past few days weren’t as firm as this mattress. Despite its firmness it still dips as he climbs on, heavy weight denting the firm substance.

She can feel the warmth of him as he kneels over her, caging her in under his body. He lowers himself down, holding himself up on his elbows. His mask is nearly touching her face, close enough she can see the roughness of the metal, the divots and impurities in it.

They lay like that for a few moments, breathing in each other’s air before a single word is uttered.

“No.”

Chloe stares into the eyes of the helmet, lips parted slightly as she breathes in the slightly musky scent coming off him. She feels exposed suddenly, the blanket had fallen open. She had been forced to dress in her dirty clothes, her torn pants and the tank top she’d worn under her layers on Earth. The room is cold, making her aware of her lack of bra but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Yeyinde.” He breathes out, shifting ever so slightly over her. “Worth it.”

Chloe bites back tears at his words. They were simple but she could understand. He wouldn’t have risked taking her on his ship in the first place, he would have left her to die in the cold on Earth if he hadn’t thought she was worth it. He wouldn’t have risked his entire life, he wouldn’t have saved her. He wouldn’t have let himself be so vulnerable with her...he wouldn’t have been so gentle with her had he not thought her worth it. He hadn’t left his family, his clan because he felt like he had to. He was doing this because he thought she was worth it. He was putting her above everything he knew.

He pushes himself up, kneeling over her on the bed. Chloe chases him, pulling herself up so she’s kneeling as well, only putting her about eye level with his chest. She puts her hands on his shoulders, bringing herself up to press her lips against the metal of his helmet. He tenses slightly under her hands, but she moves back before he gets too uncomfortable.

“I understand now.” She says, sitting back on her heels. “Besides, we don’t need them. We can be our own clan.”

***********

It’s dark out when Tusk returns to the room. Chloe is wrapped up under layers of blankets, trying to get warm. It was warm on the planet during the day, but the nights were something else. Chloe had her back to the door, not wanting to move out of the warm spot she’d created. She knew Tusk would be disappointed in her lack of awareness, of her lack of self-defense, but she was tired and finally starting to get warm.

She hears the familiar hiss of air as he removes his helmet, setting it on the desk with a clunk. A few more clunks follow, meaning he had stripped off his armor. The bed dips as he settles on it, cold air meeting her skin as he slips under the blankets. She instantly rolls back against him, seeking out his warmth. She can feel the wire netting against his chest, pulsing out warmth under the blankets. She sighs contently, her sigh being met with a purr. She smiles softly to herself, a thick arm wrapping around her stomach, pulling her tighter against the solid body behind her, mandibles twitching in her hair. She feels small like this, his sheer size evident in moments like this. She’d been close to him, closer than this. She’d seen more of him than she ever thought she would when she first woke up in his ship. They’d shared an extremely intimate moment, one she wasn’t even sure the cultural meaning of to him completely, and to be totally honest, she wouldn’t mind doing it again.

But not right now.

She’s tired, the last of the drugs he’d used to knock her out wearing off, leaving her feeling exhausted despite the fact they’d put her to sleep. Despite the unknowns, more on her part than even his, she feels safe and comfortable in his arms. She knows he’ll take care of them both. He had so far.

********

The clothes help infinitely. Chloe’s not sure where they’d come from, or how they look perfect for humans, or even how he’d gotten the right size, but they fit almost perfectly and they’re extremely warm. She could gauge enough from his silent emotion and his posture he still wasn’t comfortable with her leaving the room yet, but at least he remembered to feed her and he had tried to make her as warm as he could. It seemed aliens were more adapted to the chill of space, and so most outposts like this were colder than humans were used to. It made sense to her. It wasn’t like humans were exactly traveling out this far. They weren’t adapted to this kind of life. She was the first, and no one even knew it.

It made her feel slightly melancholy. She did miss Earth. There were things she had hated, but it was still her home. She hadn’t left much behind, but her exit had been unexpected and the reality of her situation hadn’t hit her during her blissful time on the ship. But it wasn’t like she could convince him to go back. From what she could garner, his kind visited Earth fairly consistently and so going back would be a risk. It would be easier to track them. This was her life now.

He was her life now.

*******

“What are you doing?” Chloe asks him one day. She figures they’ve been there about a week now, as far as days go on the planet.

“Fix ship.” He says, messing with something electronic on the floor of their room. Chloe couldn’t even begin to tell you what it was or what it did. “Damaged.”

“From the other ship?”

All she gets is a grunt in reply.

“Was...was it your kind...that attacked?”

He shakes his head, locks swaying back and forth. “No.”

“Oh.” Chloe looks down at her hands. “Can...can I do anything to help?”

“No.”

Chloe bites her lip, pulling her knees to her chest. She can’t help but start to feel bored. She had absolutely nothing to do. She was stuck in their room all day, every day. The only excitement she had was his coming and going and their mealtimes. She needed something to do. Some entertainment. Anything.

That’s why she decides to leave the room one day when he’s out. She knows she shouldn’t, she knows she’s entirely alien to everyone that could possibly be in the outpost. She knows it’s dangerous, but she’s tired of being cooped up and bored. So, she leaves the room when he’s out fixing the ship.

She slowly makes her way down the steps, entering the lobby of sorts. There are creatures her mind couldn’t fathom sitting around. It was more like a bar than a lobby, really. She’s utterly fascinated by the completely different world, taking in everything she can.

She’s drawn to where groups of creatures are sitting around tables, playing what looks like Craps, but she can’t discern anything else. She leans against the side of the table, watching them curiously. None of them give her more than a glance, Chloe trying to work out the rules and point of the game on next to nothing as far as information goes.

After a couple of rounds, the creature next to her sets the dice in front of her, giving her a look. She doesn't need to speak the language to understand what that look means. She’s reaching for the dice before she can really think it through, but she’s stopped when a clawed hand wraps around the back of her shirt, yanking her away from the table. Her feet slide on the floor as she’s dragged towards the stairs, Tusk’s nails cutting into the skin on the back of her neck.

He’s angry. She can hear the angry trills and growls from his chest as they move away from the lounge area and back towards their room. Her feet leave the floor as she’s quite literally tossed into the room, hitting the metal floor hard. She coughs, the wind knocked from her lungs at the impact. It jars her, but not quite as much as the seething Yautja across the room.

Chloe jumps as his helmet hits the floor with a loud thud. She’s shaking, she realizes as she props herself up on her hands, staring at the angry alien. His eyes are filled with rage, glaring yellow slits at her. His mandibles are flared wide, fists clenched.

“Ooman stay.” He growls out, pacing back and forth.

“I was bored.” Chloe tries to defend herself. “I have nothing to do.”

“Dangerous. Ooman not know.”

“You won’t tell me anything! How am I supposed to know when you won’t tell me anything?” Her voice is rising, pushing herself up to her knees. Her side is sore where she hit the floor. She knew he was strong, but she hadn’t ever pictured the strength being used against her. She had herself convinced he wouldn’t hurt her. But he was still an alien. Had she made a mistake in thinking that of him?

“Ooman stay safe. Ooman do as told.”

“You’re not the boss of me!” Chloe says, feeling childish but she’s so angry and tired she can’t help but fight back. “I didn’t ask you to take me. I didn’t ask to be with you. I didn’t ask you to leave everything behind for me. I didn’t ask you to-”

A loud roar shocks her into silence. It’s louder than she’s ever heard from him, her ears ringing at the sound. She can’t help but fall back at his roar, backing up in fear. The sound is primal, dangerous, awakening some prey instinct in her that has her making herself as small as she can in the far corner of the room.

He’s standing there, eyes wide in anger, mandibles splayed. Chloe hadn’t felt this afraid of the one she’d met on Earth. She hadn’t ever felt this afraid before.

He stops roaring, glaring at her for a moment before bending to pick up his helmet, leaving the room with a slam of the door. Chloe curls up tighter in the corner of the room, burying her face in her arms.

**********

Chloe sleeps alone on the alien planet that night. She hadn’t seen Tusk since their argument and part of her is afraid he had left her. Abandoned her on this planet in his anger. She had just been bored. She hadn’t known anything. She didn’t know anything about the galaxy or other planets or the life on them. A few weeks ago she hadn’t even known life existed outside of Earth. Of course, there had been the “sightings” and the people who were convinced, but she had always been skeptical. Skeptical until proven real. That was her mantra.

But aliens were real. She was on some distant planet Earth probably didn’t even know about yet, crying over a fight with an alien species Earth also didn't know about. It was all very real, and here she was, crying after a childish argument with a species that could probably tear her in half with his bare hands. Who was she to think she could make decisions like that. Act stupidly in a place she was totally ignorant of? She doesn’t know what she’ll do if Tusk doesn’t come back. If he really did abandon her here. She really doesn’t know.

*********

Tusk can’t sleep.

He’s staring up at the three moons in the sky from the pilot seat of his ship. He had been so afraid...so worried when he’d spotted her in the lounge at the table. He had told her to stay in the room. He had told her it wasn’t safe and she had acted like a pup and defied him.

But her face when he had roared. The...fear in her eyes.

He feels a sick twisting in his stomach as he replays the moment in his memory over and over. It was a side of him he hoped she would never have to see. A side he never wanted to direct towards her. She was fragile, small. His little ooman and he had roared at her like...like an animal. He hadn’t meant it. He was blinded by his anger. He had lost his temper like a fiery Young Blood. He wouldn’t ever hurt her. Not his little Yeyinde.

And now here he was, sulking in his ship while she was alone.

He gets up, heading back into the outpost and up to their room. It’s dark inside but he can see her, curled up in the bed. She’s asleep, her breathing soft and even. He sets his helmet quietly on the table, getting rid of most of his armor as well before climbing into the bed next to her. She doesn’t wake, but she does shift closer to him. He runs a hand down her arm, feeling the softness of her skin, how delicate it is. He can smell the dried blood on her neck from where his claws had cut into her when he’d grabbed her. He feels the twisting in his gut again, moving his head to lick at the wounds.

He purrs quietly, tongue tasting the metallic blood. She stirs slightly, letting out a quiet groan.

“Tusk?” Her voice is thick with sleep, hand rubbing at her eyes.

He lets out a louder purr, nipping softly at her shoulder. She rolls back over, settling into sleep again, Tusk wrapping himself around her tightly, holding onto her determined not to let go.

**********

Chloe wakes up warm and comfortable. Her head is moving slightly, up and down in a smooth pattern. She would have been convinced she was on a boat if the past day’s events weren’t flashing through her head.

She moves slightly, lifting her head so she can look up at him. His eyes are closed, face relaxed as he sleeps. Chloe wants to move away from him but she’s stuck to his side by the arm around her waist. Her leg is thrown over his, body pressed tight against his side. She rests her chin on his chest, fingers tracing the mottled pattern of his skin. She doesn't remember him coming back, doesn’t even remember him joining her in bed.

She can’t help but remember the day before. The anger in his eyes, the roar. She’ll always remember that roar. More so that it was directed at her. But staring at him now while he’s sleeping, it’s hard to picture him as that fearsome predator she had seen yesterday. He’s still fearsome, but there’s a softness about him in his sleep. This is the Tusk she knew.

She looks back up at his eyes, finding them open and staring at her. She had been so lost in thought she hadn’t realized he had woken up. Hadn’t felt the change in his breathing. He stares at her with his yellow eyes, all signs of anger and malice gone. Her wandering hand is almost at his jaw now, her fingers wrapping around one of his locks. He lets out a trill and suddenly she finds herself laying on top of him.

“You scared me.” She says quietly, running her fingers over his lock, feeling the texture of it. “I thought...maybe...”

A purr rumbles through his body and into hers, vibrating every inch of her. His hand is splayed on her back, the other tracing the skin on the back of her thigh. “No hurt Yeyinde.”

Chloe lowers her gaze for a moment before looking back up at him. His hand has drifted down her back, splayed out on her lower back now. She can feel his heart thumping in his chest, an unusual rhythm to what she’s used to, but it’s become comforting to her now. She wraps her hand around his lock, tugging on it lightly. His body jerks under hers, hips shifting slightly. She gets a mischievous glint in her eye, tangling a hand in his locks before tugging hard.

He lets out a roar, but this one is different than the one he’d made yesterday. She’s familiar with this roar, having heard it before. She tugs again and he’s sitting up, her body dropping the few inches into his lap. Her shirt is history, claws leaving light lines on her skin as he rids her of the fabric, hands sliding up her sides. His nails brush against her nipples, making her shiver. He does it again, her body starting to flush in response.

He leans down close to her but her hand in his locks stops him. He stares at her with a question in his eyes.

“No.” She says, tugging on his locks again, his breath fanning over her face in a huff at the motion.

She stands up on the bed, standing over him, and for a moment he wonders if she’s changed her mind, or it wasn’t what she wanted in the first place. But the moment her knee hits his chest, attempting to shove him back onto the bed he understands. Her hand yanks his head back as he grabs her leg, his other hand pushing against her back. She tugs his locks again as he flips her, easily overpowering her in this fight as she winds up on her stomach on the bed.

He’s faster than she is, somehow having removed his loincloth in the time between when she’d hit him and when she’d been flipped. His hand presses between her shoulders, her head turning so she can still breathe. Her pants are yanked down, hips being lifted and rested on something soft. She goes limp as he positions her, taking a moment to make sure she’s comfortable before his hand is between her legs.

She’s already wet, slick and warm against his fingers. A breathy moan leaves her lips as he brushes over her clit, hips jerking slightly to chase his fingers. He purrs deeply, the head of his length replacing his fingers, running it along her slit. Her blatant displays of aggression towards him, along with her hand in his locks, had pushed him over the edge, his length straining against his loincloth painfully until he had released it. He was well versed in doing this quickly, having to tame several females who had fought him for dominance in bed. But she wasn’t a Yautja female. She had given over quickly, and he had made sure to be gentle with her. She had known she wouldn’t win against him, her actions were solely to rile him up.

He’s not as gentle this time, offering her no preparation as he begins to press himself inside her. A low whine leaves her lips at the stretch, her body having forgotten already what it was like. He seemed bigger than before, her body stretching, trying to fit him in.

She’s glad the pillows are holding her hips up, her legs already shaking by the time he’s seated as far as he can go. His own breathing is labored, mandibles flared at the sensation of her tight, wet heat. He begins to move his hips, fighting the resistance of her body as he pumps himself in and out of her. She’s slowly relaxing, hands gripping the blankets on the bed, the most endearing sounds leaving her lips.

He snaps his hips into hers, her body jerking in response. Her eyes roll closed, a high pitched moan leaving her lips. His mandibles click together in a laugh, repeating the action. She tightens around him even more, a deep growl leaving him in response. He picks up speed quickly, thrusting in and out of her hard. He folds his body over hers, hands resting near her head as he mates her the Yautja way. The sound is wet, along with skin slapping skin and their moans and growls.

He leans down, shifting his hips slightly as his mandibles trace along her face, tongue tasting the sweat on her skin. She grips the blankets tighter, squeezing impossibly tight around him, ooman words spilling from her lips before she goes silent for a moment. A long, keening whine leaves her then, eyelashes fluttering. She’s squeezing him, fluttering around him. He growls, hands gripping her hips as he picks up speed even more, thrusting harder and harder into her.

His hips still, head rearing back as he lets out a roar, length pulsing as he releases inside of her. Pleasure tingles through him, traveling along his spine into his stomach and through his length. His little ooman is whimpering at the sensation, legs trembling still from her own release.

He pulls out of her, sitting back and watching as their mixed fluids drip from inside of her. He leans down close to her, letting his tongue run the length of her slit. Her hips jerk in response, her back arching slightly. She’s tangy on his tongue, mixed with his musky flavor. He finds he likes the taste, pressing back in for more.

**********

Chloe can barely leave the bed for a week. She had complained about being bored and having nothing to do, but she hadn’t quite had this in mind when she had said that. Tusk had become relentless, every moment he wasn’t fixing the ship, feeding her, or sleeping he was between her legs. He let her take the lead sometimes, but others he was ruthlessly fucking into her, leaving her with bruises and scratches. She can’t exactly complain, though. For all of their differences, he at least knew how to be a decent lover. She’d lost count of the time she’d cum from him.

But thankfully he seems to be slowing down, spending more and more time fixing the ship, meaning it was close to being done. Perhaps that meant they would be leaving soon. Where they were going to go, however, she hadn’t gotten an answer. Perhaps because Tusk didn’t know either.

She’s also thankful he’s gone more because she’s started to feel sick. She was eating less, none of the foods he brought seeming to be appetizing to her anymore. She had managed to stomach most of them before, but it seemed like she had lost all taste from them. Her mind comes back to the stories she’d read about alien diseases, bacteria and microscopic lifeforms brought back from space destroying humanity. Could she have gotten some sort of space parasite suddenly? Had that been why he’d been so adamant about her staying in the room?

Chloe rests her head on the edge of the toilet seat, or what she calls the toilet seat, wiping some of the sweat from her brow. She’d puked up breakfast again, thankfully Tusk gone from the room so he wouldn’t be worried. She felt fine otherwise, just nauseous and tired.

She washes her hands, splashing water on her face before going back to the room. She’s barely sat on the bed when Tusk comes into the room, leaving the door open for a change.

“Come. We leave now.”

“Now?” Chloe asks, watching Tusk grab the few things they had accumulated during their stay.

“Yes. We go now.”

Before she knows it she’s back on the ship, tucked safely in Tusk’s bed as he takes off. Her stomach lurches as they leave the planet, threatening to bring up the nonexistent food left. She lays there, thinking for a moment when it suddenly hits her. Her stomach drops as the ship rocks as they leave the atmosphere, eyes wide as she calculates the numbers in her head. She didn’t know exactly, but from what she could figure out, it had to be true.

She rises out of bed, making her way from his room towards the control deck. She doesn't get that far, however, Tusk meeting her halfway.

“Yeyinde.” He says, pausing mid-step.

“Tusk, I need to talk to you. I want to know where we’re going.”

“Somewhere safe.” He says, moving past her.

“Tusk, please, tell me.” She turns to him, watching him go with a sigh. “Tarei’hsan.”

He stops at her attempted pronunciation of his real name. He turns slowly to face her, shoulders tensed. She approaches him, staring up at his face through the helmet.

“Tusk, I’m...” She bites her lip. She’s not sure if the word will translate correctly or even have a meaning to him. So instead she grabs his hand, putting it over her stomach. “Pup.”

He stares down at his hand for a long time, her small one covering his where it’s resting over her stomach. He rapidly switches through signatures on his helmet, finding the small zygote resting in her body every time. It’s faint and barely there, but he can see it.

**********

EPILOGUE: 40 years later

Chloe steps out of the hut as the ship lands in the clearing. The other members of their clan, cast outs and loners like them stepping out as well. They had been gone for weeks now, something Chloe had gotten used to after Naugui was born. Tusk had been adamant about raising him the Yautja way. Chloe had no problem with that, after all, Naugui took after his father in every way. An outsider would have questioned whether he was Chloe’s son, but he knew, and so did his parents. Chloe had nearly died birthing him herself, and it was something she would never forget.

She pulls her greying hair back, tying it up from her face as Naugui and Tusk step out of the ship. Tusk had managed to keep himself connected to other Yautja clans without them knowing, secretly spying on them since he left. There had been talk recently, worrying talk. There had been word of an invasion on Earth spreading through some of the clans. Tusk and Naugui had gone to see if it was true.

Chloe can tell by their body language when they approach her what the answer is.

“What do we do?” Chloe asks, wrapping her arms around Naugui.

“We can do nothing,” Tusk says, cupping her face.

“Earth was my home once. To think it could be gone...wiped out...” She chews on her lip, Naugui pulling away from her slightly.

“The armor.” He says, looking to Tusk. “If it can get to Earth...”

“No.” Tusk says. “It’s too risky.”

“They need a chance to defend themselves. Oomans are part of me. If I can give them a chance, I will take it.”

Tusk lets out a breath Chloe understands the meaning of. She turns back to her son, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She knows the risk well. She’d heard first hand the whispers. Being the clan leader’s wife she knew everything he did. If Naugui did this, there was a strong chance he would not be coming back. But that was the Yautja way. It was a risk they took on every hunt. A fear they faced unflinchingly.

“Do your best, son,” Chloe says, cupping his cheek through his helmet.

He leans forward, resting his forehead against hers for a moment before standing up straight. Chloe watches him walk to the ship, leaning against Tusks’ side, ruminating on the fact this could be the last time she sees her son.

#sacred part 2 #i finally wrote it #yautja #predator #predator x human #yautja x human #preadtor x reader #yautja x reader #preadtor x oc #yautja x oc #violence #space adventures #the ending is a reference #who can get it #well see

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