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fweasleyswhore · 3 years

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Who We Are - F.W.

Chapter Five: Your Facade

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four

a/n: its really outta pocket how late this is, but, i am sorry depression been hittin hard lately im going to try and upload around every three days now !

word count: 2.2k sorry short

warnings: none! just fluff and a tad of uncomfy a lot of ground work for next chapter also this is a series specific taglist just as fyi

tags: @you-make-children-cry @bohemianspacebabe @levylovegood @louist-pics @rochellestark @hufflepuffzutara @weasleybeb @whoreforfredweasley @fortheloveofthecharacter @ayesha-mae @ma0422

“Darling! How I am so excited to meet you!” Before I could reply I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug by Mrs. Weasley. I was quickly pulled out of the train by the twins, barely able to tell Lee goodbye before I was being surrounded by redheads. If I didn’t know who they were I would have felt like I was being circled by vultures. Placing names to the faces I saw wasn’t so difficult, I knew all of the family from my time at Hogwarts, the only thing I didn’t know was who the two taller men behind Mrs. Weasley were. I only got a glance at them, they were both redheads, obviously of the Weasley clan. One had a dangly earring with longer hair that reached his jaw, the other was slightly taller and stockier, his hair wasn’t as long as the others but had more of a curl to it. They were engaged in a conversation I couldn’t hear or focus on as I was being pushed out of Mrs. Weasley’s arm’s. She held me at arms length smiling.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay with you, it really means a lot to me,” I spoke softly, bringing one of my hands up to squeeze hers that rested on my shoulder. She nodded enthusiastically. She opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by Mr. Weasley. “No problem, not at all.” He said nodding down at me. He extended his hand which I shook gladly. “Oi stop coddling Y/N!” George spoke up from behind me pushing next to me. “Yeah we want to spend time with her too.” Fred said linking his arm around my shoulders. George let out a chortle that pulled my and Fred’s attention toward him. “I meant for mum to coddle us, you know, because we are her kids.” I felt Fred’s arm drop from around me and I glared at George who smiled wide and looked between us. “Alright children let's get going.” Mrs. Weasley clapped, pulling all of our attention towards her. I let out a short sigh and grabbed my trunk. The ride to the burrow was uncomfortable. I sat in between the twins in the backseat with some extra luggage. Fred started to rest his head on my shoulder around the halfway point which would have been cute if I could relax into it, instead it just made me feel more cramped. I shut my eyes, trying to relax my breathing as my nerves took over me, counting my breaths until we were there. Getting into the Burrow was a flash, moving bodies tumbling up the winding stairs. The house truly was a beauty to behold, seemingly stacked and held together by magic, the outside was remarkable. The inside felt like an ever present hug, little nooks filled with cushions and blankets could be found in nearly every room. It truly was cozy and everything I longed to feel in my own home. Home was void, it was a place where I stayed but it never made me feel the way the Burrow made me feel. “Now Y/N, go put your stuff in Ginny’s room, you and her will be staying together and with Hermione later when she joins us.” Nodding along to Mrs. Weasley’s words I followed Ginny to her bedroom. It was cute there were posters on the wall for quidditch and on her dresser she had a few stuffed animals, they had their fair share of tears and missing buttons but I’m sure that was just from use. “So what’s it like?” She asked as I set my bag down on the cot set up opposite her bed. “Being Fred’s girlfriend of course! Mum’s ecstatic, this is the first time one of the boys have brought someone they are dating home.” I felt heat and embarrassment crawl up my neck like a ferocious fire breathing dragon until my entire body felt hot head to toe. “No, we are just friends.” “Are you sure?” “Very.” “But George said-” “Kids! Dinner is ready!” Mrs. Weasley’s voice flooded the house and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding in. “Go ahead, I’m going to change.” Ginny nodded and left, shutting the door lightly behind her. Did the family think me and Fred were dating? Did Fred think we were dating? Multiple questions raced through my mind, each one making me grow hotter, but I couldn’t quite place why. I decided against my winter apparel, opting for sleep shorts and an oversized shirt. It wasn’t the cutest but it was the coolest thing I packed and knowing how many people were down stairs I could only assume how much hotter the air would get. Winding my way down the stairs and through the rooms I finally found the one filled with people. The family was surrounding a table where it looked like there was a feast right out of the Great Hall spread out.

“Ah! Y/N, come! Sit sit, um here.” She pointed to a chair on the far end of the table, on each side were the two men I saw from before but didn’t know. Feeling nervous I nodded and went to take my seat. Luckily Fred and George were across from me and that calmed me a bit knowing the meal wouldn’t be met with awkwardness. Soon my plate was full and the entire family seemed to be going in between a big conversation and small ones on the side.

“You must be Y/N.” Said the man on the left of me.

“Yes and you are?” He chuckled and sent a confused look to the twins, I followed his gaze and saw Fred looking rather displeased, sending him a glare.

“Charlie, and that’s Bill.” He pointed around my shoulder to the man on my right. I smiled warmly and waved and he nodded with a sly wink.

“I’ve heard about you two, you’re the oldest ones right? And you are in Egypt most of the time?” I asked Charlie in between bites of beans.

“No I’m usually in Romania with Dragons, Bill is in Egypt working with his voodoo.” Placing my attention on Bill, silently asking him for confirmation.

“I don’t do voodoo, Charlie is just being an ass, it's his specialty.” He was cut off by Charlie laughing, rolling his eyes he started again. “I’m a curse breaker, I work for Gringotts.” My eyes widened as I felt curiosity bubble up within me. If I had to guess I would have assumed that Bill was the one working with dragons, his hair pulled back into a ponytail, his tooth earring, leather boots, it just felt more fitting. Charlie's build definitely proved his occupation; I just would not have guessed it.

“What does a curse breaker do exactly?” I asked. “Well obviously, you know, but are there any cool perks?”

“Yeah Bill what are the cool perks?” George asked with a sly smirk, his eyes danced between Fred’s hostile gaze and his older brother, chuckling to himself.

“Yeah other than getting sunburnt.” Fred groaned. I sent him a look but he missed it too busy prodding around with his food angrily. George had an amused look on his face, obviously directed at his twins behavior but I couldn’t place why.

“He knows nothing about burns, trust me.” Charlie piped up. He rolled up his left sleeve which held a scar that curved and danced up his forearm and around his elbow.

“Baby Chinese firebolt, I was trying to put it into the incubator when it realized I wasn’t mama.”

Dinner went on, Fred didn’t utter a word for the rest of dinner, just poked his food with a grimace on his face. I didn’t let his sour mood ruin mine, I was divested in conversation with Bill and Charlie, learning all about their jobs and travels. Bill told me about an old woman who made jewelry in the center of the town in Egypt where he stayed, he told me about how she imbued each item with a different magical property, some were protection charms and others were sister pieces used to send messages between their owners. Charlie taught me about the different types of dragons and what it was like to work with them. They were both so kind, answering each question I had with a smile on their face. I was so divested in whatever Bill was telling me I didn’t notice everyone had left the table at that point.

“Why don’t we move into the living room?” He asked looking around, I followed his eyes, noting the once lively table empty. In a weird way it made me feel cold, a shiver tore through me.

“If you don’t mind I am going to find the twins.” I spoke getting up. He smiled understandingly. “I think Fred might be in their room, second level first door on your left.” I nodded, sending him a small smile as thanks.

“Wait I said twins, not Fred.” I looked back to him, his smile evident as if he had just caught me.

“I know.” He said, cheeky grin never leaving his features. I felt my cheeks heat up, turning on my heel I left and found my way to the stairs. Harry was watching Ginny and Ron play wizards chess in the kitchen, Charlie and Percy were arguing in the living room about the ethical uses of dragons as means of labor while their parents were both reading. I didn’t see George or Fred and took Bill's advice and bounded up the stairs.

Knocking lightly on the door I was met with no response, tried again, nothing. Despite my better judgement I pushed the door open. The room is exactly how you would expect it, slightly messy with blueprints and products strewn about. On each side was a twin bed, one with green covers and the other with blue. On the right side Fred was laying on his stomach, head facing his wall and limbs falling off the sides. George wasn’t in sight.

I tiptoed around the things on the floor and found his side, sitting down gently in case he was sleeping. There was a tension in the air that made me uneasy and I wanted it gone. I just wanted to spend time with him, I didn’t want to feel like I had to hold my breath.

I ran my fingers through his hair, unable to hold myself back. I felt him let out a sigh under my touch. He began to shift, picking his head up and adjusting himself so he was facing me.

“Hey stranger.” I said softly, sending him a smile. His face was unreadable, part way between smiling and frowning like he was fighting himself inside. He scanned me, up and down like he was trying to read my intentions by a quick look.

“What are you doing up here?” He asked. His voice held no emotion and it stung slightly to see him be so blank with me.

“I want to see you, we haven’t been able to hang out all day and I missed you.” I kept my head down as I spoke. A beat of silence rang throughout the room. I looked at him for an answer, my eyes met his and I watched the resolve fade away, like a barrier breaking beneath his exterior, his eyes lost their cool touch and they warmed up, returning to their familiar honey pools I know.

“Get in here.” He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me down to his level. I helped him, situating myself around him, tangling my legs with his and putting my hands on his chest. Both of his arms were around me, pulling me into him like he hadn’t seen me in months, he buried his head in my neck, his hair fell across my face making my giggle at the feeling, realization struck through me as I evaluated his movements in his head.

“Freddie are you ok?” I asked, my voice was more serious now but his behavior was just hard to read, it felt like since I met his family he had pulled back, the back of my brain was telling me it was because I did something wrong.

“Yeah I just,” He paused holding his breath. “Please don’t let me go.” His words vibrated against my neck. I felt his arms tighten around me as he spoke, like he was in a dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

“I wouldn’t dream of it Freddie.” I whispered back, deciding not to push it. Leaning down I placed a small peck to his ginger locks. I felt his mouth curve into a smile against my skin and it made butterflies erupt in my stomach. I felt giddy and drunk, being wrapped up in his arms, smelling, holding, being held by Fred. It was intoxicating and I couldn’t possibly wish for more.

#fred and george #fred weasley #weasleys wizard wheezes #george weasley #harry potter #fred weasley x reader #weasley twins #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley fic #george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley fic #george weasley fluff #fres weasley series #harry potter fanfiction

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kiirokero · 3 years

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Selcouth (KNJ)

Selcouth: Unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous. Old English.

Part of the “Protect the Village!” Oneshot Series!

Masterlist

Pairing: CarMechanic!Namjoon x Writer!Reader

Genre: Fluff, a bit of angst, but a happy ending :)

Note: I stg this Aquafina water be hittin’ different nowadays

Summary: Having your car break down? Sucks. Having your car break down in an unfamiliar town after losing basically everything? Yeah, that really sucks. Hopefully, the smartest mechanic in town can get you back on the road quickly.

Word Count: 3.6k

“W-What do you mean you’re letting me go?”

“I mean that you’re fired, Y/n, but I wanted to put it in a nicer way,” Your boss explained, releasing a sigh. “B-But why?” You sputtered out, “Mr. Choi, you know I need this writing job... No other position is open the city...” You begged, having the smallest of hope that he would reconsider. “I know Ms. L/n, but the company is going under, even if you stay I can’t pay you,” Mr. Choi groaned, one of his palms resting on his face.

You felt like crying. Ever since you were little, you dreamed of being a writer and sharing stories with others. When you got older, that dream changed to wanting people around the world to read what you wrote, so why not write articles for newsletter companies?

It was difficult. The city you lived in was full of competition for every job you could name. Office workers, technicians, writers. But you had nowhere else to go. You moved away from home for this. Your family sorta cut ties with you shortly after, never really caring for you in a parental way... They were just there. So you needed to succeed. You needed this job.

And now that was all gone.

So you went home, searched up writing jobs in a 50-mile radius, packed your things, got in your car, and started driving. In the next city over there was a new newsletter company getting started and they were looking for writers. It was just the thing you needed. Maybe this was the universe telling you that you needed a change of pace. That you needed a new routine, a second chance to start over and make life your bitch.

The blur of lush, green trees whooshed past your car windows as you kept your eyes on the coarse road in front of you. The rhythmic hum of the machine you were operating was the only sound you could hear. You had a music playlist, but after an hour and a half, it got more irritating than relaxing. So you sat in silence, mind blank, as you ran on auto-pilot.

Until your car made an odd sputter.

Creasing your eyebrows, you looked at the dials on your dashboard, waiting for any warning light to shine, but none did. You shrugged it off, still feeling slightly uneasy, but trusting your old machine to safely get you to your destination. Besides, there's nothing out here. It has to.

Nothing happened for another half-hour. Just the same methodical vroom of your tires on the road and whoosh of your air conditioning vents. You were just thinking about turning on the radio to whatever channel reached out here when... Sputter... Sputter.

Twice now, your car sputtered twice now. “God, please don’t do this,” You groaned to yourself, praying to whatever miracle maker was in the sky that your car wouldn’t break down on an obscure road with no big commune around for miles. Sputter... Sputtt... Sputter... It was getting worse now, but being the stubborn person you were, you refused to believe that the car you had since teenage hood was finally giving out on you.

Sputter... Sputter... Sput... put... pu.. tttt...

Sighing, you pulled over to the side of the road with what little acceleration you had left on your- now dead- car. You sat there in the driver seat for a second, gathering your scattered thoughts, blinking back your tears of frustration. “I can’t believe this,” You whispered to the quiet air in the car. You hit your steering wheel in anger, immediately regretting it when the sting of the hit hurt your hand in turn. Curse you Newton and your 3rd law.

Pulling out your phone from your backpack that laid in the passenger seat, you looked up mechanics you could call. Surprisingly, there was a tiny village not too far from here, only 2 miles, that had a mechanic. Bangtan Village. “Huh,” You murmured, “Never heard of it,”

You’ve never heard of Bangtan Village before. Then again, you’ve never went traveling around these parts either. You were always confined to the big cities for work, so it wasn’t a mind blowing revelation that there was possibly a village out here.

Dialing the number listed, the phone rung a few times before the voice of a man answered. “Hello Kim’s Car Repair, how may I help you?” His voice sounded very warm and friendly. The soothing tone called down your panicking heart, and for that you were grateful.

“Hey, um, my car broke down, do you do towing?” You asked, nervously fiddling with your fingers.

“Yes we do! Do you know where you are?”

You told him what road you were on and approximately how close to town you were and he reassured you that he would get to you soon. So you had no choice but to wait.

20 minutes later, the rumble of the tow truck caught your attention. A tall man, about 6 foot, stepped out of the truck and gave you a dimpled smile. He had tan skin and gold brunette hair that was dirtied by what looked to be the black residue that comes from working on cars. His brown eyes crinkled endearingly and he was dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans combo. He looked like the type of man who starred in a romance drama.

“Hello! I assume your the Y/n I spoke to on the phone?” He asked, walking up to stand in front of me. For a man so tall, his height was comforting in a friendly giant way rather than intimidating. “Yeah, that’s me,” You chuckled, scratching the back of your neck. “I’m Namjoon,” He said, shaking my hand. “Nice to meet you, Namjoon,” You smiled, thinking that his hands were calloused from the work he did, but they were also a tough sort of soft.

“Okay, so the plan is to tow your car back to my shop, see what’s up with it, then get you back on the road,” Namjoon explained, smile never slipping off of his face.

“Sounds good, Namjoon,” You smiled back.

Namjoon hooked up your car to the truck as you sat in the front passenger's seat, watching him do his work smoothly, like a true professional. Once Namjoon was done, he got back in the truck, “Ready?” He asked. “Ready!” You firmly nodded. “Let’s go then” Namjoon grinned.

The drive was smooth and somewhat quiet. The two of you talked here and there. About where you were going, your profession, his profession. Just very basic small talk. Before you knew it, you were in the quaint tiny village of Bangtan. Everything was spotless. The streets were free of litter, murals were painted on store walls, people were chatting friendly on the sidewalk. It was an enormous difference from the dirty, tagged, unfriendly streets of the city. It was a pleasant sight to see, a soul-cleansing image.

Soon, Namjoon had your car in the shop and was inspecting it in no time. Already getting down to the problem while you waited anxiously waited for a verdict. “Well, I have good news and bad news,” Namjoon sighed, wiping off his dirtied hands on a hand towel. “Tell me the bad news first,” You said, grimly expecting the worst. “Okay, so, it’s a problem with your engine that will take at least a week to fix minimum.” He sighed, a sad smile on his face. You groaned, hiding your face in your hands. “But the good news is! You’re in Bangtan!” He said, giving you jazz hands.

“What do you mean?” You asked, raising your eyebrows.

“Everyone here is friendly, and I know you don’t exactly have a place to go, but I’m sure someone would be willing to house you” He shrugged.

“Namjoon, I don’t have the money to pay a rent.” You sighed.

“Then you can stay here! Free of charge! Consider it a few add on to me fixing your car,” He smiled.

You felt a little better at that. You would have a place to stay, and it wouldn’t cost you a thing. Thinking about how much money was in your savings account, you felt like angels were singing at Namjoon’s suggestion. “Really?” You asked, eyes lit up in hope. “Of course. I’m not going to kick you out on the street,” He chuckled, giving you that same adorable dimpled smile. “Thank you so much, Namjoon. I’ll make it up to you!” You grinned, bouncing in excitement. “No need, I’m just glad to help.”

Namjoon lived on the second floor of his shop. It was a small apartment, an open living room-kitchen plan with amazing natural light. His apartment was full of plants. Flowers, mini trees, elephant leaves. He even had a beautiful bonsai that obviously got a lot of care. “Your place is nice.” You complimented genuinely, smiling at the little things spread around the room. He had a Ryan cushion on his couch, a bookshelf full of classics, and solar powered toys in the window. The ones that bobble back and forth. “Thank you,” Namjoon chuckled, scratching the back of his neck while the two of you took off your shoes. “It’s a bit messy, but it’s home,” He said, leading you through the apartment to his small guest bedroom.

“Here it is!” Namjoon said, leaning his head against the doorway. “Thank you again, Namjoon. I’ll be sure to be the best temporary roommate ever!” You promised. Namjoon laughed, patting you on the back with his large hand. “Just don’t murder me in my sleep and we’ll be fine,” He said, and you snorted. “Have you seen yourself? You could snap me like a twig,” You chuckled, gesturing to his sculpted arms that he no doubt got from his rigorous line of work. “I’d never,” He smirked, giving you a wink that made your heart flutter and cheeks heat up.

You nervously chuckled, looking away from him to look around the room a bit, dropping your backpack off on the bed. “I’ll let you get settled, I’ll be in the living room if you need me,” Namjoon said, giving you a little wave goodbye as he closed the door, giving you some privacy. Sighing, you flopped on the soft white bed and let out a groan at how good it felt to lie down after driving for so long. You didn’t realize just how tired you were until you drifted off to sleep, letting the sweet shackles of your subconscious lock you in a state of rest.

“So you’re telling me, that you had to write an article about animal genitalia? And ducks have corkscrew penises?” Namjoon laughed from under the car he was working on. “Yeah, and let me tell you whatever FBI agent is assigned to watching my internet history has quit by now,” You joked, laughing along with the man who has been your roommate for the past 4 days. “Wow, that sounds... interesting,” Namjoon chuckled, rolling out from under the car and sitting up straight to look at you. “Quite,” You answered back, handing him his hand towel so he could clean off his oily hands. “Hey um, I have a weird question to ask,” Namjoon said, grabbing your attention.

Quirking your head to the side, you raised your eyebrows, “What’s up? Nothing can be weirder than a duck's dick.” You giggled, earning a smile from the man in front of you. “Would you... like to go out for dinner? There’s this nice restaurant in town that I think you’d like,” You asked nervously, his pitch gradually increasing as he got more anxious. You internally giggled at the fact that he was nervous at asking you to dinner, but smiled at him nonetheless. “That sounds nice. Are we going tonight?” You inquired, leaning on the edge of your seat. “Um, we can... if you’d like too...” He shrugged, fiddling with his grease stained hand towel. “I’d love to,”

Namjoon’s smiled widened as he stood up to put away his tools. “Great! Um, we can go at 6?” He offered, and you have him a nod. “6 sounds good,” You answered, standing up to go and get ready. “I’ll be waiting.” You smiled, leaving Namjoon swooning as he gave you a look of admiration. “Yeah, yeah I’ll see you soon,” He smiled back, giving you a little wave as you walked out of his shop, running upstairs to pick out the nicest outfit you had from the limited clothes you brought with you that aren’t packed in boxes.

Soon you picked out a cute skirt and sweater, modeling them in the mirror. Once you were satisfied with the way you looked and didn’t look like you crawled right out of bed, you checked the time. 5:45. You had a bit of time left before you left, so you sat down on the couch for a bit. Once you got out there, you couldn’t help but pick up one of Namjoon’s books that were lying around to help pass the time.

The Catcher in the Rye. A classic. Everyone in their senior year of highschool has probably read this book, willingly or not. The sheer amount of angst in this book would seemingly drive reader away, but it does the opposite. “I see you’ve found one of my favorites,” Namjoon chuckled from the doorway, pulling you out of the world in the book. “I have a feeling all the books on those shelves are your favorites” You teased, closing the hard cover and placing the book down on the coffee table.

“Maybe, but I’ve been on a Pride and Prejudice kick lately,” He chuckled, looking over to the bookshelves he had in his living room. “Really? For the dramatic love story or the social critiques?” You asked, but Namjoon didn’t answer right away. He just looked deep into your eyes, something that resembled longing swirling in the brown weaves of his irises. “The love story,” He spoke softly, not daring to take his eyes off of you.

Namjoon looked at you like you were a star in the sky and he was the moon, longing to hold your light in the palms of his hands and never let go. Like he wanted to take you on his personal nature walks and talk to you about all the different flora he’s identified on the trails. Like he wanted you there, 24/7, while he worked on the cars in his garage. Working was a lot less lonely when you had someone to tell you about the anatomy of animal genitalia for an article they were writing that was totally scientific. But Namjoon knew that tomorrow he would have to deliver the news that your car was in working order again.

And then you would leave him...

“Let’s go,” Namjoon whispered, giving you his classic dimpled smile that made your heart swoon every time he flashed one at you. Nodding, you got up from the couch and followed him out the door, taking a walk through the village, waving to a few people that you’ve briefly met, and arriving at the small bistro that was situated on a street corner.

The inside of the restaurant smell heavenly and made your already empty stomach growl in anticipation. “Hungry?” Namjoon teased with a smile. “Extremely,” You dramatically sighed back, chucking along with him. “Well then, let’s eat, shall we?”

“Alright, I know you said you get your money’s worth here, Namjoon. But this sandwich is huge,” You stressed, looking at the thick one foot sub that laid ominously on the ceramic plate in front of you. “You can always save it for later,” He suggested, taking a bite into his own, 6-inch, sandwich. He groaned in delight at the taste. “I love food,” He sighed. “Well, you kinda need it to live, Joon,” You chuckled, taking a bite of your own sandwich.

Namjoon paused mid bite, looking up at you with wide eyes as you eyed the sandwich currently in your hands, trying to figure out how they made sandwiches that tasted like Gods ambrosia. “J-Joon?” He asked, and you looked up to meet his stunned expression. “Oh, sorry, was that not okay? I won’t say it again,” “N-No! I just, I liked it is all,” Namjoon interrupted, stumbling over his words while he examined the sandwich in his hands like you had been doing moments before.

You chuckled, “Well Joon, I saw that you ate my mozzarella sticks,” You playfully scolded, giving him an unimpressed face. “What? You left them in the fridge for too long,” He argued back with a smile while you took another bite of your sandwich. “Mmhmm,” You hummed, chuckling to yourself. “I um, have some good news,” Namjoon spoke up after a beat of silence.

You raised your eyebrows, signaling him to continue what he was saying. “Your car should be ready to go tomorrow,” He mumbled, and you stopped chewing. Swallowing-more like gulping-you let out a deep breath that you were unconsciously holding. “O-oh? Is that so?” You said, feeling a tad bit disappointed now that you didn’t have an excuse to stay.

Namjoon nodded, fiddling with his sandwich. “Yeah, um, I got it fixed up. All good now,” He coughed, feeling unhappy about the thought of you leaving. “That’s good... Thank you Namjoon,” You said back, truly meaning the words, but not having the excitement to put behind them.

The two of you continued to eat and chat with this air of uneasiness around you. Neither one of you talking about the possibility of you leaving tomorrow, continuing your journey and forgetting about the adventures you had here. You weren’t quite sure what you wanted to do. On one hand, you had gotten so used to Namjoon and his presence that being without him would be a hard pill to swallow. But on the other hand, you knew that moving to the city where you could get a job was the safer, and more financially wise, option for you. You were stuck between your happiness and your routine normality that you have gotten used to having.

You looked at your now fully packed backpack in contempt. The feeling of dread that you got about leaving Bangtan village only increased as the day went on and you prepared for the journey to the next city over. You didn’t want to go, but could you truly stay? What would you do? What would be your source of income? You didn’t know, and not knowing this made you feel anxious.

“Are you ready to go?” Namjoon asked you from the doorway. You looked up at him into his golden amber eyes, not saying anything just yet. You thought about the time you shared with Namjoon. The movie nights, dinners, the time in his shop. All seemingly small and domestic things you never thought about in the moment, but now that you're here getting ready to say goodbye to it all, you weren’t ready to.

But you didn’t have a choice. Namjoon wasn’t going to let you live with him forever and you didn’t know if anybody in the town needed a writer for anything, so you had to toughen up and say goodbye with tears stinging in your eyes. “Y-yeah, I guess so,” You mumbled. Namjoon nodded, walking you down to the street where your car was running and waiting.

You stood there next to Namjoon for a couple moments. Basking in the comfort of his presence as you took a deep breath and let it out with a weak sigh. “I guess this is goodbye,” You whispered, kicking stones that laid on the sidewalk. “I guess it is,” Namjoon replied, pretending to care about the dirt that forever laid in his nail beds.

Gathering up all the scattered courage you had, you took a couple steps to your car. You were about ready to opening the driver’s side door when Namjoon called out to you. “Y/n! Wait!” He yelled, as he ran down to your side, putting his hand over yours to stop you from opening the door. “I- Y-yes?” You asked, looking at his fiery, determined eyes. “Stay with me,” He begged quietly.

“What?” You gasped.

“Stay with me Y/n, here, in the village,”

“Namjoon, you know I can’t-”

“Why not? If you’re worried about finding a place to stay, we could live together. I’ll get better at cooking, I promise,” Namjoon wavered, taking your hand fully in his. “Please Y/n, I know we may not know each other that well and you had a plan to move into the city and restart your life but... Can you restart it here? With me?” He begged, confident demeanor slowly slipping away. You were stunned into silence, unable to look away from the man beside you as he gave your hand a squeeze.

“We can continue to have those movie-nights together. The ones where we watch bad horror films that you still get scared at and hide into my arms to get away from the jumpscares,” He said as the two of you chuckled in harmony. “You can teach me how to cook those amazing dishes of yours... We could even get a puppy in the future...” He whispered to you, gradually getting closer. “Please Y/n. Give me a chance to be your second chance. I promise to take care of you,”

“What about a job?” You asked,

“There’s this newspaper that the town has, or my friend Jimin knows a publisher that you can reach out to. Maybe you can follow your old dream of becoming an author,” He encouraged as he spoke softly to you. “I know this is sudden, and we don’t know each other all that well, but we can get to know each other,” He finished, eagerly awaiting your answer.

You didn’t have to think twice before nodding your head, wrapping Namjoon in a hug. “You can be my second chance,”

#namjoon #kim namjoon #rm #rap monster bts #bts namjoon #bts #bts oneshot #namjoon x reader #rm x reader

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the-writing-mobster · 3 years

Text

Yes Man AU

I know no one was asking for this, but this is literally my favorite movie! So as a small love letter to Yes Man starring Jim Carrey, I wrote a small au oneshot with the WDYW cast. I do hope you enjoy, and found it just as funny as I did while reading it!

Yes Man AU

Sans couldn't believe he was doing this. He couldn't believe he had let Nick talk him into coming. He hadn't even really talked him into it. Nick had just popped up out of nowhere, threw a rock into the university window where he worked and yelled at him to go to the stupid Yes Seminar while getting chased by security.

Honestly the reason he had actually come to this stupid fucking thing was because he had accidentally blown off Papyrus's engagement party. What kind of a brother was he!? That was the wakeup call he needed to get off his ass. Maybe… maybe this would… he didn't know. He already felt stupid as he walked through the throngs of happy humans and monsters alike.

It was like walking through a mega church. There was an air of… some weird spirituality sprinkled with scummy book stores.

Everyone was so… smiley. He himself had a literal permanent grin on his face but… their smiles were different. Alive?

“Sans! You actually came! I knew you would. Trust me man, this is what you need. You're gonna love this man. You need this!” Sans nodded along, trying to hide his pained grimace as best he could from his longtime friend.

“Yeah well… I just… yeah,” he murmured as Nick dragged him to their seats in the audience. Sans sat awkwardly amongst the jabbering crowd as Nick waited impatiently for the seminar to start.

He felt as out of place as an atheist during mass.

Then the lights dimmed and a hush fell over the crowd. Music swelled throughout the room and his brow bones raised and he glanced at Nick, who's eyes were wide with childish excitement.

“Life… we are all living it… Or are we?” spoke a mystical voice. Sans grunted.

“Riveting…”

“Change is generated from consciousness, but where is consciousness generated from? From the external. And how do we control the external? ... With one word. And what is that word?”

“YES!” screamed the crowd, Sans jumping in his seat at the sudden roar of noise. He laughed nervously and shot Nick a desperate look, already regretting his decision to come.

A man emerged onto the stage, a monster. An old tortoise man in a sharp white suit and silver tie.

“The word is yes! Yes. Yes! Yes!” Sans smirked and leaned over to Nick.

“That's what she said,” he teased and Nick rolled his eyes as he stifled his snicker, punching Sans lightly on the shoulder.

“What are you, twelve? Pay attention.”

“Say it a million times. Say it a million more times. And the word you will have said two million times is…” This time Sans was expecting it and waved his hand with annoyed amusement as the crowd screamed YES once more. There was an uproar of cheer and staggering emotion that swept through the ballroom. Sans didn’t know what to think of it. There was such a mixture of being freaked out and being very interested in what was about to occur that he merely just sat there in stunned, awkward silence while the crowd lost their fucking minds.

Finally, everyone had the decency to shut up and let the old tortoise talk. Sans let out a breath and leaned back in his seat. He hadn’t even realized he was on the edge of it.

“I want you to invite yes into your life… because when you say yes to things, you will embrace the possible.” Sans’s eyes wandered the stadium. Psh, what a bunch of horse shit.

“You gobble up all of life’s energies… and excrete the waste.” Sans furrowed his brow with puzzled disgust at the wording and shot a wary look at Nick. What the fuck did he drag me to?

“I would like to welcome our newcomers… Who among us is new?” asked the turtle man, his eyes glittering in the spotlight. Nick jumped up and pointed directly at Sans with giddy excitement.

“He is! This guy right here!” Sans’s soul dropped to the floor, his eyelights snuffing out and leaving his sockets black as the abyss. He shot Nick a poisonous warning glare. The entirety of the ballroom seemed to turn and lock their eyes onto him.

“Haha… I’m gonna kill you...” he growled under his breath as he shot a sheepish, nervous grin at everyone. His threat didn’t phase Nick, who continued despite Sans’s embarrassment, to point him out to everyone.

“Come on up, future Yes Man!” beckoned the tortoise. Sans grimaced and shook his head, he was flooded with humiliation. He really was going to murder Nick Creamer. No doubts about it. He was already planning where to dismember and bury his body.

“Uh… No thanks I’m just… auditing?” he called back. The crowd vocally cringed at him, some laughing and shaking their heads like they knew exactly what was about to happen. He couldn’t believe his luck, or rather lack of luck.

“You can’t audit life my friend, now get on up here!” Sans seethed through his teeth and gave the fucker a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Nah… No thanks, I'm good.” Let it go old man.

“I’m sorry, what was that you just said?” he asked. Sans gritted his teeth and shot Nick a withering glare. Nick merely smirked smugly at him, sealing his fate. He glanced back up at the dumb ass turtle and shook his head stubbornly.

“Uh… I’m good?” he grunted. We could play this game all night. It was clear though that Gerson wasn’t going to let this go.

“Before that.” Asshole. Fuck you Nick. You’re dead. You’re so dead. You’re already dead. The crowd all looked at him expectantly. He wanted to wipe their smug little grins off their faces. This was awful. This was worse than the entirety of middle school.

“Thank you…?” he said again. A few people rolled their eyes at him and he growled. Gerson shook his head and held up his hand as if trying to reach something intangible. This guy ain’t gonna let up.

“Back up just a little bit more…” Sans glared at him and ran his tongue along the edges of his fangs. Nick nudged him and he punched him in the shoulder hard. Nick winced and held his aching arm. Sans grunted, sinking under the pressure.

“...No—”

“—No man! No Man, No Man, NO MAN!” Sans shrunk into himself as the crowd yelled at him, wagging their fingers as they shamed him and only him.

“Ok! If the molehill won’t come to Gerson… Gerson will come to the molehill!” he exclaimed. Sans’s eyes widened as the old man took off in a sprint down the aisle right for him. His eye flared with shock as he stumbled back in his seat, Nick holding him in place. The only reason he hadn’t used his magic was for all the humans’ sakes.

Gerson stole a chair and turned it to face him, sitting down as a crew member handed him a microphone. Sans gulped.

“What’s your name?” He shoved the microphone into Sans’s face and he let out an annoyed grumble. No getting out of this now.

“Sans.”

“Let me guess Sans, someone talked you into coming here today didn’t they?” Sans rolled his head to look at Nick and he sighed. Yep it definitely looked like he’d have to do this. Fuuuuuuck!

“...Yes.” Everyone shouted YES at the top of their lungs and Sans rolled his eyes.

“And you’re not… sure about this are you?” Sans narrowed his eyes at Gerson as he weighed the options of his answer. It was just a yes or no question. He inwardly groaned. This sucked.

“No,” he grunted. Again, the audience shouted no man over and over, none more passionately than Nick, who was only digging himself into a deeper hole than he was already in. Sans shook his head with irritated bafflement at his predicament. He really should’ve stayed home. Gerson shrugged.

“You’re dead Sans,” he said bluntly, with a nonchalant shake of his head, “you say no to life and therefore you are not living.”

Sans’s skull grin faltered at the words.

“You make up excuses to the people around you, and to yourself. You’re trapped in the same dead end job you’ve been stuck in for years. You don’t have a significant other. You don’t have anything close to a significant other, and you lost the love of your life because they couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t live theirs…” Sans’s brow furrowed as he read him like a newspaper. ...Hittin’ a lil’ too close to home their bucko.

“And most nights you’re so bored and filled with ornery that… you can’t even summon up the enthusiasm necessary to masterbate.” Sans choked at the statement. He was right. Jesus I’m depressing.

“Am I right, Sans?” He shoved the microphone right against his skeletal nose and Sans avoided looking into his dark, glittering… piercing, green eyes. He had just read the contents of his soul… In front of everyone!

“Um… you uh, I mean I guess you could say I’m sans enthusiasm,” he murmured the shitty pun, trying as hard as possible to not let the microphone pick up the rumble of his voice, or allow the audience to hear his meager confession. Gerson gave a soft smirk. He glanced up as the old turtle pulled himself closer. Way too much closer. Sans scaled his chair to somehow escape him as he came right up to his nose.

“We’re gonna make a covenant Sans… do you want to make a covenant?” he whispered into the mic. Sans’s breath shook as he glanced down at the floor.

“Come on Sans!” shouted some random guy in the crowd. Sans grimaced and groaned softly as he tried to battle his thoughts.

“Uh—” Sans flinched as Gerson hit his head with the mic, the auditorium filling with feedback at the move.

“—The answer is yes, Sans.” The crowd screamed Yes.

“Yes!” he croaked. Nick screamed yes with fierce passion into Sans’s ear and Sans curled away from him.

“Yes!” This time with a bit more conviction. Nick was right. He… maybe he did need this. Gerson had been right about everything. He really was a sorry sack of shit. Would it really kill him to spice up his life like this?

The crowd screamed yes again and Sans let escape a soft whisper, pleading and desperate, partly for this whole ordeal to be over, but… mostly a sincere want to change.

Gerson’s piercing eyes locked onto his, his face solemn and sober.

“Once you leave this building… every time an opportunity presents itself…no matter what it is… you will say yes.” Another round of yes’s filled the hall, and this time Sans found himself embracing it. Afterwards he gave Gerson a nervous grimace and nodded.

“And what if I say, heh… the other word?” he asked, not willing to risk the chance of saying no and being yelled at again. Gerson narrowed his eyes at him.

“You’ll be breaking a promise to yourself… and when you break a promise to yourself… things can get a little dicey. What do you say, Sans… want to make that covenant?” God yes, if this is what it takes to make Papyrus… or, fuck, if this is what it takes to get out of my funk then…

“Yes.” YES!

“Yes!” YES! Gerson grabbed him by the face and dragged him out of his seat with such vigor, Sans gave a growl of surprise.

“MAKE ME BELIEVE IT!” he snarled as he shook Sans.

“Yes! Yes! YES!” he cried desperately, Gerson throwing him back down in Nick’s arms. Sans was shaking from the entire experience. What. The. Fuck… just happened to me?

Gerson turned back towards the stage and made his way through the crowd. He rose his fists into the air with a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

“YES!” he cheered, the audience practically screaming their inspired praise. Sans breathed shakily as he tried to regain his composure. A laugh escaped him as Nick pushed him back into his own seat. Slowly Sans began to clap. Guess you could say I’m a little shell shocked.

⁂

“Hey! There he is!” Sans glanced up at one of the men from the auditorium as he and Nick walked through the parking lot. The man’s wife smiled brightly at him.

“That was wonderful, so inspiring,” she said sweetly as they climbed into their car. Sans grinned and saluted them lazily. Nick chuckled as they came to his little blue car.

“So… you gonna do it?” he asked. Sans hummed in thought and shrugged.

“I… I don’t know. Maybe,” he said with a coy grin. Nick scrunched his nose at the answer and chuckled.

“That’s weird, I didn’t realize we stepped out of a maybe seminar,” he teased. Sans snickered and rolled his eyes as he turned away, coming face to face with an old homeless monster, his head cloaked with a black hood, nothing but bright white eyes peering back at him.

“You… are a reaper, tralala… yes?” asked the homeless monster. Sans swallowed and raised his brows, looking down at his skeletal hands.

“Uh, tch, yes,” he grunted. The hobo gave a small squeak of delight.

“Do you think you could use those fancy powers of yours, tralala, and take me to Ebbot City park?” he asked. Sans hummed his displeasure at the request and began to shake his head. He hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night, in fact, only around three hours and the closest thing he’d had to a meal all day was a hotdog from a street vendor. He only had enough energy really to get himself home and make a measly ramen noodle dinner for himself. Jesus Christ, I really am pathetic.

“Uh… liste—”

“—YEEESSSSS!” shouted Nick as he came sprinting to Sans’s side. Sans winced at the reminder of the stupid covenant.

“Sure he can! Right Sans?” asked Nick with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Sans laughed wryly at him. Nick, do you want me to kill you? You have to say yes. He thought bitterly. He inwardly groaned and turned back to the homeless man. With a long sigh of resolve he shook his head yes.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Why not?” he grumbled. Nick giggled gleefully, and the homeless monster shot him a puzzled look.

“Yes! You won’t regret this Sans!” Sans shot him a warning glare and chuckled bitterly as the hobo held out his dirty hand for him to take. Sans grimaced as he debated on taking his hand, the two dancing around each other awkwardly before Sans grabbed sternly onto his shoulder.

“Alright just… Ebbot City park right?” he asked. The man nodded and he sighed as smoke poured out of his sockets. He longed for the days people were scared shitless of reapers. They were all getting so comfy.

“Have fun!” called Nick as he walked back to his car. Sans shook his head as the red smoke surrounded them.

“Fuck off.”

⁂

The mist dissipated to reveal the gate leading into the park, big rod iron letters spelling Ebbot City Park. Sans grunted and turned away before the hobo cleared his throat and pointed inside.

“I need to go a little further in, tralala. It’s in the hiking range near the water, if you don’t mind tralala,” he said. Sans froze and glanced back at the hobo. He stifled his annoyed growl and plastered on the fakest smile he could.

“Of course… silly me.” Because nothing could be easy. He sighed as he clasped his hand onto the monster’s shoulders and shrouded them in red mist again. The hiking range was way deep in the park. He prayed to whatever dumbass god was listening to allow him to have the energy necessary to get him home.

When they arrived at the riverside, dark water lapping up at the shore, the hobo searched the water. A tired sigh exploded from Sans’s jaw and he shot the hobo a disgruntled look.

“Got any more requests or can I just leave ya here cause it doesn’t really matter… tralala…?” he grumbled. The hobo hummed his disapproval and glanced back at him with a sheepish sparkle in his bright, white eyes.

“I’m sorry man, but… it’s on the other side of the river, tralala” He said. Sans stared at him. Fuck you Nick, fuck you Nick, fuck you Nick. He mustered up enough decency to give the homeless monster a gracious smile and snatched his arm.

“Fine by me,” he growled as once again, his smoke surrounded them.

He stumbled and leaned against a tree as he took them to the other side of the river. There was a small encampment with a little canoe pulled up on the river bank. The hobo clapped his hands cheerfully before slowly turning to Sans.

“Thanks man for doing this, you know a lot of people would’ve just said no, tralala… although I have been getting a lot of luck lately outside of that hotel,” he said. Sans chuckled wrly and shook his head.

“Hey man it’s… it’s no problem,” he grunted as he wiped his hand on his jeans.

“Um… you wouldn’t mind if… do you think you could spare a couple bucks, tralala?” he asked. Sans’s eye socket twitched before he chuckled aridly and yanked out his wallet.

“You know what? I’ve come this far,” he hissed as he leafed through some of his on hand cash. “Yes you can… tralala,” he said with a gracious smile.

The hobo glanced at his stack of cash and chuckled, shaking his head and pointing to it.

“You’ve got a whole lot there, tralala, can I have it all?” he joked. Sans’s eyes snuffed out, abyssal black holes filled with rage. These assholes keep testing me. The riverman hobo let out a jolly laugh and Sans laughed mockingly along before holding out the whole stack.

“Sure,” he hissed as he held out the stack of cash. The hobo laughed nervously, his eyes widening at the generous gesture. He hesitantly reached for it and clasped it in his hand. For a second, they both pulled on the money, Sans’s grip a cold dead grip on his hard earned money. However, the hobo eventually won that game of tug-o-war.

He held up the bundle to him as Sans glared across at him.

“Angel bless you, tralala,” he breathed with genuine gratitude. Sans waved him off as the hobo got into his canoe and pulled a raggedy blanket over his head. He scoffed and walked along the river path as he tried to summon his magic. A curl of red mist fluttered around him, but he was exhausted and he had reached a depletion in magic. He panted and leaned against a tree trunk.

“Come on man!” he snarled. He tried again only for his eye to flare like a sputtering candle and he stumbled back. He gritted his teeth and growled low under his breath.

“Great” he spat. He dug through his pockets for his phone. He’d have to call an Uber or something once he made it out of the park. A reaper in an Uber. What was the world coming to?

As he glanced down his eyes widened when he realized his battery was at one percent. He had forgotten to charge it before he left, banking on just charging it at the seminar.

“Oh no, no, no!” he gasped, just as it decided to shut down. His fists clenched and he rummaged through his jacket pockets. Yes, he had his charger, thank God. Ok then… new plan… walk to a gas station, charge my phone, get somethin’ to eat and call an Uber. He would’ve called Papyrus, but where they stood right now… he knew his brother would rather not deal with him. He was on his own.

“Heh… perfect.”

⁂

“Hey Sans, do you wanna give away all your cash to a homeless guy? Why yes. Yes I do,” he growled to himself as he marched over the empty bridge across the river. He couldn’t fucking believe he was in this situation.

“How about expending all the rest of your energy teleporting him around a six hundred acre park? You know what? That sounds like a fucking great idea!” he shouted into the indifferent night.

Assholes. All of them. Weird culty assholes. How could anything good ever come out of this? He’d probably get jumped, and with no magic to defend himself… Ugh! He read the directions to get out of the hiking trail and sighed as he found himself running along a thin dirt path. Fuck this Park. Fuck that homeless guy. Fuck Nick. Fuck the covenant!

“Let’s just take a late night stroll through the hills and get killed by a murder cult! Don’t mind if I do!”

It took hours. Literal hours. He was winded… and sweaty and exhausted! His legs felt like jelly by the time he was practically crawling up to the closest gas station. He threw the door open, eyes black as a starless night as he locked the cashier in his gaze. He held up his phone as he caught his breath and bared his fangs.

“Charging port. Where is it?” he snarled. The tired teenager squeaked with fear, that’s more like it, and pointed outside. He groaned and stomped back out to find the port. As he bent down to plug his charger in, the rev of an engine filled the air.

A vespa pulled into the gas station and parked at the front near the building. He glanced up as the rider slid off of their ride and spared him a curious look while they took off their helmet. It was a rather stupid sight. A large skeleton monster hunched over a little outlet with his stupid little cell phone. Might as well join the circus while he was at it.

To make matters worse, they were a human woman. A rather cute one at that and he looked like a fucking idiot.

They smiled awkwardly at each other and she stepped inside. He gave a small sigh and turned back to his phone to check if it was charging. Now with one percent battery life and still charging, he gave a small breath of relief and tried to force it to turn on. He shook his head as frustration flooded him. He couldn’t believe this.

“Do you wanna call an uber for the first time in your stupid ass life and sit in some smelly guy’s car as he forces you to talk to him about your fucking day while Nickleback plays just a little too loud? Oh could I? Could I really?—” He froze when the flash of a camera lit his vision and he jerked up.

The woman looked down at her cute polaroid camera as it printed the picture she had just taken. People still used those? She giggled quietly to herself and glanced back up at him with a coy smirk.

“That’s a good look,” she said as she waved the picture in the air. He narrowed his eyes as he studied her. She was small… short brown hair that framed her round, bronzen face and… her eyes were big and brown. Ugh, just my luck that I would look like a complete dumbass in front of such a pretty girl!

“Did you just… take my picture?” he asked, pointing to the photo in her hand. Her smirk widened and she bit her lip as she unscrewed a water bottle. He watched as she took a sip before turning her attention back to him with a sigh.

“Maybe… Did you run out of battery?” she asked. He chuckled wrly and glanced down at his phone. He glanced back up at her through narrowed eyes, running his tongue along the top of his fangs.

“Maybe…” he murmured. She grinned and shook her head.

“That sucks. That happened to me last week,” she said as she grinned down at the picture before pocketing it. He rolled his eyes to the heavens.

“Was it because you forgot to charge it and then had to keep teleporting a homeless guy all around a park because no matter where you took him it just didn’t feel enough like home… which depleted all your magic and left you stranded with an empty battery so you couldn’t call a driver?” he asked. She snorted with laughter and leaned against the wall, head tilted with tender curiosity.

“Um… no… but I take it that… that’s what happened to you?” she asked with a giggle. His grin widened and he shrugged innocently.

“Nope. What would make you assume that?” They laughed quietly as he looked down at his phone. Four percent. He glanced back up at her as she continued to drink her water. Why was someone like her talking to someone like him? Not that he was complaining… after all she was super cute.

“He kept making you teleport him around a park?” she asked. Sans grunted and nodded at the ridiculous truth.

“Yeah, uh, apparently he was the most demanding homeless man on the planet. Wasn’t letting anyone walk all over him. He was keeping his sense of dignity… It was good to see,” he said with a teasing grin. She laughed with him, her nose wrinkling sweetly as she tried to understand his current predicament. He chuckled along and held open his arms with a welcoming grin. “I’m just glad to be a part of it really…”

Her smile grew on her face. “Yeah that must feel good,” she said with a firm nod.

They shared a lingering gaze before he cleared his throat and turned back to his phone. “Truly, yeah… oh and I’m getting some exercise… which is cool,” he mumbled as he glared at the Uber app in the app store. Was he really gonna have to download this and make an account and everything? Tonight was gonna be a long night…

“Well… do you need a ride?” she asked, gesturing to her scooter. Is she for real? He looked over her shoulder at the little vespa and swallowed his nerves. Would he even fit on that?

“Uh… on that thing?” He asked nervously. She quirked a perfect brow at him as she sauntered back to her scooter and handed him her helmet. No fucking way. Well… Yes is the only option you have…

⁂

They sped through the street, weaving in and out of traffic, Sans’s arms awkwardly wrapped around her slender waist. The rev of the vespa engine and the slap of wind in his face was exhilarating. This was probably the first time in a long time he had felt like he was alive… and maybe that was because at any moment they could go flying to their certain death.

“Am I going too fast for you, faucheuse drôle?” she shouted over the wind. He laughed nervously and leaned his chin over her shoulder.

“Nah, in fact I think you should go faster… that way if we crash at least I’ll die.” She barked with laughter at his quips and he chuckled along. “I just don’t want to be kept alive artificially, ya know?” They laughed together as they drove.

She turned into a street with a little less traffic and slowly raised her polaroid into the air. His grin faltered as she straightened and smiled into the camera lens.

“Wait, what are you doing?” She laughed cheerfully and leaned against him.

“I’m taking our picture! Sourire!” she said as the camera flashed. He groaned as the flash cut through his vision.

“Oh God, are you trynna blind me? Can’t see shit,” he said, but he couldn’t help but chuckle. She gave an easy laugh and shook her hair in the wind.

“Me neither! Isn’t it great!?” she exclaimed as she swerved through traffic and down another road as he shouted in terror. Is she crazy!? Yeah, he was definitely not a vehicle kind of guy.

When he realized that, yes, they were still alive, he allowed himself to grin and hug her a little tighter. This was… kind of fun. She was really fun! He was having such a great time! To think all it took was an awful trip through the park.

They laughed together as she drove the rest of the way to his apartment complex.

They stopped a little ways down the street and the woman dismounted, kicking her stand out to lean the scooter on. He stalled as he glanced up at the building, then back at her. She glanced at him as she ran a hand through her short, windswept hair. They stood in silence, studying each other with gentle curiosity.

He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his skull. “So uh… thanks for uh, doin’ that. Ya didn’t have to really,” he said as he tried to avoid her gaze. She smiled sweetly at him and began to walk, Sans stupidly following behind her to his own apartment complex.

“No problem, maybe the color will return to your face sometime… or not, considering you’re a skeleton.” He laughed at her joke and nodded along.

“Well I hope you feel powerful because you’re the only person who’s made me scream like a little baby,” he said with a bashful grin. She scoffed with teasing laughter and winked at him. She was so pretty… How had he gotten this lucky?

“Je le porterai comme un badge d'honneur… Can I have my helmet back now?” she asked as she pointed at his skull. He glanced up and chuckled with quiet embarrassment. He pointed at it and grinned.

“I’m still wearing it, aren’t I,” he murmured. She gave a sleepy laugh and nodded. He sighed in mock sorrow as he took it off and handed it back to her. As she reached for it, he lifted his hand out of her reach and she whined playfully. He laughed and tossed it to her, her fumbling it a bit before pulling it to her chest. They giggled together.

As they came to the gate to the complex she faltered and shoved her hands in her coat pockets. She swayed on her heels and smiled.

“So… are you gonna be ok?” she asked. He grinned and leaned against the gate as he eyed her. Well now that I’ve met you…may the angel bless me indeed.

“Yeah! Yeah I’m great… unless you wanna stick around and makeout,” he murmured under his breath. Her big, brown eyes perked up at the words and he inwardly kicked himself. No I did not just say that out loud. I don’t even know her name!

“What?” she asked, eyes wide. Oh shit, I totally fucked that. Stupid, idiot, asshole!

“Wha- What did you say?” he stammered. She narrowed her eyes and advanced on him with aggressive finality. He held up his hands as he feared maybe pepper spray, or a taser if she was one of those girls.

“Hey listen, I wasn’t bein—” She grabbed his jacket and pulled him down, pressing her lips to his fangs in a forceful kiss. He froze up. That had been the last thing he had been expecting. She pulled away… too soon… and stared up at him. A shocked silence fell over both of them.

“... Have a good night,” she said as she gave him a firm pat on the chest. His eyes followed her as she sauntered back to her vespa. She swung her leg over and revved the little engine before taking off down the street. He watched her go and looked down at his chest, where his hands were clutching a… a photograph. His grin softened. The two of them on her scooter. He actually looked happy…

He glanced back down the street where she had driven off and smiled to himself, tucking the photo into his jacket pocket.

“Yes…” he murmured thoughtfully, a skip in his step as he made his way back to his room. Yes always leads to something good… Thank you Nick.

15 notes · View notes

vanityloves · 3 years

Text

anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

#rip lol i feel annoying but my blog my rights ig #brainworm ivy #gorillaz rambles

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janeyseymour · 4 years

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Anne Boleyn: Captain of the Chaos Squad

Hi! I’ve made up so many scenarios in my head about the things that Anne Boleyn does, and uh... here. Have this. TBC :)

Title: This Sh!! is Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Anybody who has met Anne Boleyn will tell you that she is one of a kind, no category. That being said, among the queens, she is their favorite little green gremlin. Many of the questionable things the second queen had done were broadcast for their fanbase to see, but quite a few were not. Here are some of the most interesting things the green queen has done, caught on camera or not:

Since joining the social media world, Anne Boleyn has gained quite a following. Often, she was posting silly pictures of herself and her fellow queens, but every once in a while, chaos ensued.

While the other queens were keeping themselves busy, the second queen had settled in the kitchen. Setting her phone up on the counter, she opened up the instagram app and began a livestream. Instantly a few hundred people had joined, wondering what was in store for them today.

“Heyo fellow queens! It’s your girl, Annie B. Today, I’m just hanging out in the kitchen by myself and-” Anne’s eyes fell on a comment left by none other than Jane Seymour.

JaneySeymour: Anne Boleyn, do not touch any appliances.

“Calm down Janey, I’m not going to touch any of your precious appliances. Anyway! Today, I’m just hanging around, and I’m willing to answer any questions that you have all about myself, the show, or the other queens!” The comment section flooded with questions, and as promised, the second queen did not hold back in answering.

“Yes, the show is exhausting! Do you know how hard it is to not lose my head sometimes! There’s so many lighting effects!”

“It’s not terribly hard to figure out which queen we’re talking about. We typically call Aragon Catherine or Lina. Howard goes by Kat or Kitty. Parr is Cathy or Cath. We’ve got it down.”

“Jane is 100% mum. In the beginning of this live, she told me not to touch any appliances.”

“And I meant it,” Jane grumbled as she made her way through the kitchen with a load of laundry, avoiding the camera.

“Jane, wait! Come back!” Anne called. “I’m sure the queendom would love to see you!”

“I’m really not in a state for hundreds of people to see me right now.”

The comment section flooded with fans begging the blonde to come into view.

“They wanna see you! Come on. It’ll be fun!” The blonde dropped the laundry basket at the top of the steps and made her way over.

The third queen came into view, her hair tied up in a messy bun, glasses sitting on her face.

“Hello queendom! I hope you are all having lovely days, and if no one told you today: you are enough! Love you!”

The viewers flooded the comment section with things such as:

WE STAN MUM SEYMOUR

WE LOVE YOU JANE!

Wow it really do be hittin different when THE Jane Seymour tells you you’re enough and she loves you

“And that y’all, is the best mum I could ever ask for. Thanks Janey!”

“Of course love. I’m sorry to go, but I have to finish tidying up around the house. Thanks queendom! Have a beautiful day!” Jane disappeared from sight.

The live went on for a while, Anne Boleyn answering questions happily when one particular comment stood out to her.

Roseamongstthethorns: eat a banana with the peel still on

The second queen laughed out loud, “okay roseamonstthethorns, I will eat a banana with the peel still on, and I will love every second of it!” The green queen grabbed a banana from the fruit basket that Jane filled so often. Without hesitation, she took a bite.

“Holy-”

“Anne Boleyn, that better be finished with a “moly” and not another word,” Aragon called from out of view of the camera.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed, just to get a rise out of Catherine. A loud groan could be heard.

“I don’t know why I never thought to do this before! This is amazing!” She finished the banana and reached for another one.

Roseamongstthethorns: do you have any more fruits you could try with the peel on?

“Rose, I do! I have an orange. Let’s try it!” She threw the banana back into the basket and pulled an orange out. Anne took a big bite before spitting it out quickly.

“It’s not as good,” she threw the orange out of sight before grabbing the banana again and digging in.

A few minutes later, Jane came back up the stairs and wondered aloud, “Uh, why is there a whole orange with a bite out of it on the floor?”

“Gotta go guys,” Anne rushed out before ending the live.

#six the musical #six musical #six the musical fanfic #six fanfiction #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfic #six musical fanfic #anne boleyn

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thevoilinauttheory · 3 years

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Ink Long Dry: Remember Me

MAHI Prompt Words Used: Guide, Gyr Abania Figured I’d lump this in with my Ink Long Dry prompts, seeing as a lot of it was word vomit to push me into writing again - since I’ve been neglecting it. And it’s rather lackluster (in my opinion) Characters: Maximiloix Voilinaut, Danny Harold What: Young Danny gets a visitor - one he’s really happy to see. Content Notes: Mentions of bullying, f o o d

The home was lively when he stepped in, greeted by his old friend with much gladness in his voice.

“Maxim! Came all the way out here just for us?” Maximiloix offered a bright smile, patting him on the shoulder firmly. “Seems I have! Caro n’I just returned from Gyr Abania - reminded me of ya’.” “Is that right? C’mon in, make yourself at home. I’ll let Tyaka know you’re here.”

It wasn’t uncommon for him to drop by Jeramias’s house, especially after long excursions - the excuse was to visit his friend, to see how he was doing. In truth, he didn’t care much. He came to see another. He watched as three children ran into view, chasing each other around the spaces between chairs and tables, through the halls. One halted upon seeing him, a boy with spun gold hair and the brightest green eyes - the most sunshine smile anyone could have. “Uncle Maxim!”

Maximiloix only grinned in return, kneeling down to boy’s height opening his arms to catch the child as he near tackled him over with a hug. “Danny, my boy! Look how much you’ve grown! Gonna be taller than your Da soon, ain’t ya’?” “Doubt it.” Danny placed a hand on top of his own head - he was shorter than other kids his age, but he did grow a little since Maximiloix had seen him last. Barely thirteen summers old, now, if he recalled correctly. “Where’d ya’ go this time! Got any stories- did you bring anything!” Excitement came back to him, fists shaking in anticipation. “Sorry, kiddo, nothin’ today.” He waited for the eventual pout before ruffling his hair. “Kiddin’, ‘course I’ve got somethin’ for ya’!” Perhaps he spoiled him too much - someone had to. He was often ignored for the affections of his parents. “Gotta take a walk for it first, though, yeah? Ask your Da.”

Danny wasted no time tearing over the carpet, stumbling over his feet to find his father. “Da! Can I go outside with Uncle Maxim!” His father had just returned, tilting his head in confusion. “Leavin’ already, friend?” “Not quite, I’ll be back shortly - just a quick errand.” Jeramias nodded, placing a hand on his hip as he pat his son on the back. “Be good, Danny - I’m serious. Don’t cause any trouble.” “I won’t!”

When they had stepped outside, Maximiloix led Danny through the maze of trees called the Shroud. He had no particular location in mind, simple meandering with the boy who found him more a father than his own. “How’s everything going, kid? They bein’ nice to ya’?” “As much as they can be.” Danny huffed. “Don’t mind it none. ‘Least Tyaka’to ain’t hittin’ me no more, but when it comes to trainin’, he don’t take it lightly. ‘Spite bein’ much bigger ‘an me.” “If you want my opinion, you don’t seem the sword n’shield type.” “No?” “You’re quick on your feet, ever thought ‘bout fisticuffs?” “Nah, Da says it’s too dangerous t’not have a weapon.” “Well, your Da’s wrong. You’d think he’d know otherwise, being from the home of Monks. Speakin’ of. Just got back from there, Gyr Abania.” “What’s it like? I wanna see the world like you do!”

Maximiloix let out a laugh. “You will one day, guarantee.” He spoke of his trip through the Fringes, the Peaks, the Lochs - describing the land, the people, the culture, the history. He offered what wealth of knowledge he gathered on his foray. “What’d you bring this time!” “Got ya’ a couple things.”

It was tradition, he’d bring something back for Danny every so often - but never was it some traditional souvenir, one that’d never be used, or gathered dust. He’d bring parts of nature back. This time was no different. “Got several things for ya’, this time.” He stopped in a clearing, finding a good place to sit - where the boy joined him with a flop into the grass. “Salt rocks from the Lochs, got some for keepin’ and some for cookin’ if you want to give them to your Ma. Then we got branches of th’boughs from the Fringes. Looks like the leaves’re dyin’ already, though.” He passed over each item as he spoke.

Once the branches were passed to Danny’s hands, the leaves slowly regained their color - bark twisting with life. Maximiloix blinked, but said nothing of it. The boy acted as if it were a normal occurrence, and so he too would do so. “Got a couple snacks for ya’ too.” A bag of jerky and a jar of orange-colored juice were pulled from the man’s bag, to which he gladly shared with Danny. To which Danny gladly dug into without a second thought as to what it was. “Ahck! Spicy!” Maximiloix choked on a laugh, passing the drink over to soothe the pain. “Sorry, forgot ‘bout that. Take it slow, yeah?” Danny coughed from the unexpected spice, nodding. “Tastes good, though! S’from Da’s home?” “Aye, he wasn’t partial to it, but I found it good for long trips.” He inhaled sharply, laying back into the grass to stare at the leaves and branches above him. “What else’s goin’ on?” “Mm? Nothin’ much.” “Schooling goin’ well?” “Eh. Kids ain’t that nice. Keep gettin’ pushed around. Erm… now that I think ‘bout it… teachers ain’t that nice either. Say I’m too disruptive, even when I ain’t doin’ anything.” “Are you able to learn anything?” “Not much… only retain whatever y’come back with.” “Then maybe I should talk to your Da ‘bout letting y’come to Ishgard with me. Caro n’I’ve opened a school there - if you’re only retainin’ what I say!” He barked out a laugh. “...I think I’d like that.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

Maximiloix let out a heavy sigh as he entered the apartment, only half expecting Danny to have been home. He ran his fingers through his hair when he realized that he was - lazing about on his couch with a book. “Seem stressed.” “Not any more than usual, I assure you.” “That right?” He shook his head, offering him a weak smile. “Regardless, I just returned from a meeting in Rhalgr’s Reach - picked up some things for you, that you might like.” Danny sat up, eyes bright for a moment - it was rare to see them like that again. “Yeah? What’d y’get?” “Salt rocks from the Lochs, and some jhammel jerky. Careful,” he remembered to warn him, this time, “it might be a fair bit spicy for your tastes.”

Danny tilted his head, brows furrowed in some recognition. “Huh… I think I’ve had those ‘fore. I think Da got them fer me when he was out one day.” The split second of realization - that he might have remembered - Maximiloix got his hopes up. Only to be squashed in an instant. “Aye… that sounds about right.”

#prompt #ink long dry #history will be written #the cold truth #about: Maximiloix Voilinaut #songs in the trees #about: Danny Harold #danny got a lot of his habits and mannerisms from younger maximiloix #such as his speech pattern and accent #or how he dropped the sword for fistfighting #cooking and gardening were also suggested to him #writing maximiloix with his accent is so weird sometimes #it just doesn't fit

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ducktracy · 4 years

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139. sunday go to meetin’ time (1936)

disclaimer: this is the second entry in the censored eleven. while there are at least triple the amount of cartoons that aren’t included in the list that are just as racist, this should tell you what we’re dealing with. the review you’re about to read entails racist content, imagery, concepts, and ideas. i do NOT at all endorse this content. i find these depictions, gross, demeaning, and wrong. i don’t take pleasure plastering it up on my blog. but to gloss over it and act like these prejudices never existed would be just as wrong. please let me know if i mess up or say something wrong, or if there’s anything i can do to make this easier to read. it’s never my intention to hurt anyone and i want to take accountability for my actions if i do. thank you for bearing with me and i hope you can understand.

release date: august 8th, 1936

series: merrie melodies

director: friz freleng

starring: n/a

as i mentioned in the disclaimer, this is the second entry in the censored 11. the censored 11 in itself is a pretty menial title, seeing as there are unfortunately many more cartoons just as ugly and racist as the ones in the censored 11 but aren’t included in the list. the first entry, as you might recall, was all the way in 1931 with hittin’ the trail for hallelujah land, which was relatively tame in comparison to this one. nicodemus refuses to go to church. instead, he spends his time trying to kill a chicken. when knocked unconscious, he comes face to face with the devil himself, who tries to sort him out.

open to a remote, neighborly town in the country. we hone in on a church, where a pastor (of course caricatured in blackface, but that’s only the beginning) greets the churchgoers inside, singing an original score by norman spencer. there’s very little to appreciate in this cartoon, but there are some beautiful vocals. the music is the only good part of the cartoon.

church bells accompany the song, and we peer into the steeple itself. a man clings to the rope as he rings the bells, repeatedly jumping in and out of his pants. a gag that would have been amusing in 1932, but feels outdated, even for 1936. we see that the rope is connected to a rocking chair, where a sleeping man rocks back and forth, his head repeatedly hitting the sides of the bell to ring. get it? because he’s got a thick skull? what a lovely cartoon already.

now we launch into the eponymous song, sung by a man strolling down the sidewalk with his sweetie. the song is very catchy and the animation itself in a technical aspect is nice, good synchronization with occasional tap dances and the animation of the wooden planks receding is very skillful. but, obviously, the scene is hard to appreciate. a very catchy song that’s too good for its own cartoon. we also get a view of a random man shuffling along and lazily tipping his hat.

and, because we had one good aspect of the cartoon, we must balance it out with something twice as bad. a mother slathers shoe polish on the heads of her children, who all run to their father. he shines their heads with a rag, and their heads are freshly polished and shiny. i don’t need to follow that up with any explanation as to why that’s bad. another woman strolls along with her children, tying a bra around their heads like a sun bonnet (a gag that would be used in a much funnier context in a corny concerto.)

elsewhere, the church bells are still ringing. a woman walks along outside, calling “nicodemus! nicodemus!” and scanning her surroundings to no avail. she carries a bible and a sunday hat, her walk determined and angry. just as she strolls past a fence, she hears a voice. we see two hands shaking a pair of dice as a man calls “come on dice, come to your pappy!” it seems nicodemus has been found at last.

the woman (seemingly his mother) yanks him out to the other side of the fence and chastises him, slapping the hat on his head and pushing him along to church. nicodemus protests (“i don’t wanna go to no church!”), and eventually she resorts to dragging him along by the ear. they approach the church, nicodemus still complaining and urging to be let go. the doors close and we pan over to the exterior of the church, viewing the silhouettes of the churchgoers inside singing some gospel. after a moment, the front doors open again, and out creeps nicodemus. he tiptoes away, turning around to assert the coast is clear. confirming that he isn’t being followed, he breaks out into a scrambled run.

suddenly he skids to a halt, where he overhears clucking. nicodemus stands right outside a yard fenced in by chicken wire, and sure enough a telltale chicken is inside. an idea hatched and nicodemus snags a nearby club, pushing the gate open and sneaking inside. he approaches the chicken, club behind his back as he urges the chicken to come closer. the chicken senses something is up and demands to see what he’s hiding in his hand. a simple switch of the grip, and nicodemus holds out his now empty hand, the other hand hiding the club. the charade continues on for a bit, until nicodemus resorts to running after the chicken, thrashing his club around aimlessly while the chicken scrambles around in terror.

eventually, nicodemus corners the chicken against a wooden fence. the chicken slips out through a loose board, the board whacking nicodemus in the head. he stumbles, and his surroundings begin to melt away. behind him is a large poster advertising a judge at the court of justice, standing behind the podium. the podium melts into a different one, with red letters reading “HADES COURT OF JUSTICE.” the judge is none other than the devil himself, jeering at a terrified nicodemus.

if anything, the colors used for the hell sequence are attractive, particularly the green and purple flames. an unconventional color choice. nevertheless, it’s understated by the blatant racism of the entire premise and cartoon as a whole. the devil opens a book to “reveal [nicodemus’] past”, flipping through the pages while continuing his shrill laughter. a page of nicodemus’ sins: shooting craps, stealing chickens, missing church, raisin’ dickens, and stealing watermelons. wow! a book chock full of racist stereotypes! the devil sneers and merely concludes “that’s bad.” a pull of a lever and nicodemus is sent tumbling through a chute, down through the surprisingly mountainous realm of hell.

nicodemus claws at a random cliff, trying to pull his way up. instead, he drags a huge patch of grass downwards like a carpet (reused in another 1933-1934 cartoon i believe. it may have been buddy the gob, freleng’s first??? regardless, it’s recycled), plummeting to the ground. the next shot reveals that the ground is actually a giant pinball machine, with the devil at the lever. i will give credit on the surrealism, it feels like a precursor to porky in wackyland (which is a much more superior cartoon than this one). nicodemus is propelled through the maze, eventually landing in a metal lip that reads “FLASH!” an electric volt shoots nicodemus back up through the pinball machine and through a hole at the top of the board.

he lands on the ground (again), where a bunch of blackfaced imps arrive to terrorize him, pulling his limbs and stretching him around as they whisk him away. they carry him to the feet of the devil, who sits in his throne, rows of other imps creating a pathway. thus sparks another song number too catchy for its own good, “you’ve got to give the devil his dues”. i’ve never played cuphead and know very little, but this is an instance where i can say “just like cuphead” in a technical sense. the scene certainly reminds me of something from cuphead. catchy vocals and catchy song. it deserves to be in a better context. some of the imps do a dance number, intermittently shouting “YEAH!” in rhythm. it’s certainly an interesting sequence, but still one that’s horribly tainted by racism.

many eye pokes from the devil later, nicodemus is poked and prodded by the imps, who all jeer and laugh at him as he cowers on the ground in fear. the caverns of hell melt away to the serene countryside, and we find ourselves back in reality, a bunch of curious chickens pecking at nicodemus instead. he regains consciousness, collecting himself, and at first resorts to thrashing and kicking to scare the chickens away. he pauses, observing the poster above him with the judge at the podium, a remnant of his nightmare.

church bells catch his ear, and immediately nicodemus makes a break for it. he zigzags through various fences and obstacles just to get to his destination—the scene lacking any sense of urgency and thus lacking any humor. it instead feels tedious. nevertheless, he zooms into the church, just in time to sing with the gospel. a view of one of the stained glass windows depicts an angel, and we see nicodemus’ silhouette fill the angelic figure, nicodemus even peering through the window at one point to solidify it’s really him. an end that feels very similar to the resolution of the much superior and less racist wholly smoke. iris out.

well, as i’m sure you can tell, i hate this cartoon. this is the nastiest and most mean-spirited cartoon i’ve seen thus far, and is probably the nastiest entry in the censored 11 as a whole. there’s little to commend about it. the music is the only good part of the cartoon—the musical numbers were very catchy indeed, and some of the background design choices were intriguing, like the pinball machine or the purple and green flames in hell. nevertheless, it’s just a bad cartoon. the gags are dehumanizing and demeaning, they aren’t funny, they’re just terrible. i wouldn’t recommend this cartoon at all, not even for a hate watch. the only reason i could ever think of for watching it is to see the prejudices people had (and still unfortunately have today in the year of 2020) back then. for educational purposes. but even then... no. but, because i always do, i’ll provide a link. obviously watch at your own discretion if you’re really that curious.

#lt #sunday go to meetin’ time #reviews #long post #racism tw #blackface tw #freleng #i will bever have to watch this again thank god!

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parkminhyuk · 6 years

Text

Boyfriend to Husband!Rocky AU

the actual sweetest boyfriend turned husband on the planet?

was an actual cutie when he asked you out

a soft little sweetheart with a shy smile asking you to be his

who could possibly say no to that (not me aksjknjdfv)

obviously you didn’t

the happiest man on earth when you say yes

picks you up and spins you around before setting you back onto the ground and giving you a soft kiss

grin never leave his face as he walks you back home

you know how sparkly his eyes get when he’s reeeeaaally happy?

that’s how his eyes look

walks you to your door and presses a kiss to the back of your hand before saying goodnight

nearly starts dancing on his way home

constant texts

sometimes it’s something deep and sometimes it’s the randomest crap

‘how do we know that we see colors the same way? what if green to you looks like purple to me and we just don’t know?’

‘‘do you think mockingbirds actually mock other birds?

this dork

sometimes sends hearts emojis

blushes and grins when you send kissy face ones

loves skyping/facetiming/etc.

he doesn’t like being apart he misses your beautiful face too much

sends you videos of him winking and of him being “sexy” on snapchat

it kills you but you’ll never admit it

dies when you send cute selfies or do aegyo

he think’s you’re so adorable

honestly just think’s you’re perfect in every way?

he’s so glad you’re his

and ready to make you t r u l y his

really nervous the day he’s going to propose to you

what if you say no? what then? will you leave him? will he get to propose again later? he just wants to be your husband akjdnvnd

(poor baby)

decides to go the classic route and propose over dinner

is extra gentlemanly the entire time

holds open all the doors for you

pulls out your chair for you

payed more attention to you than the chair and nearly pulled it out too far

constantly fixing his collar

says he’s fine whenever you ask

not like he’s the most nervous he ever been in his life

eventually can’t take it and holds out the ring halfway through dinner

fumbles through his carefully thought out speech, tripping over nearly every word

nerves reach an all new high near the end because he’s messing up you’re going to say no

starts when a pair of tear soaked lips crash onto his

gives you a shy grin when you two pull apart

‘is… that a yes?’

honestly completely clueless when helping plan the wedding

(his favorite part was taste testing different flavors of cake)

he’s okay with pretty much anything as long as you’re happy

will do his best to help with whatever you need him to do but truly all that matters to him is that you two are getting married

once again nervous the day of your wedding but his excitement overshadows his worries

he’s marrying the love of his life he couldn’t be happier

grins when he sees you walk down the aisle, his eyes filled with pure adoration

whispers ‘you look breathtaking’ into your ear before turning to the minster

can’t stop beaming the entire ceremony

he’s actually doing this he’s marrying the most amazing person he’s ever met in his life!

cups your face the second it’s over and presses the softest kiss he’s ever given to your lips

smears cake onto your lips like the dork he is

laughed that one extremely adorable laugh of his (before kissing the cake off~)

drags you onto the dance floor

this boy is a dancer there is no way he wasn’t going to be dancing with you

you two dance to a lot of fast songs but his favorite songs to dance to with you are slow songs

him holding you close and you resting your head on his shoulder

it’s comforting and peaceful and he l o v e s it

honestly glad when the reception is over

he enjoyed himself but he couldn’t wait for his time alone with you

cuddles you and gives you little pecks in the car

(the one thing he requested: a limo with a ‘just married’ sign and and tin cans tied to the back)

picks you up and carries you over the threshold

presses a lingering kiss to your lips before setting you down

the softest in-love look set deep in his eyes

considers pinching himself to see if he’s dreaming but also not because if he is he doesn’t want to wake up

wakes up before you the next morning,

watches you slumber, eyes filled with an almost childlike wonder and pure adoraton

still can’t believe he’s actually married to you

feels like he is truly the luckiest man on earth

his expression melts into a soft smile as you start to wake up

your eyes meet, his own that are so warm and gentle and full of love

lets out a deep and raspy ‘good morning’

rip you just woke up and already he hittin’ you with satoori

cups your cheek and gives you a soft, sweet kiss

‘are you hungry?’

tells you to stay there before pecking your lips and heading to the kitchen to start breakfast taking a lot of the warmth with him

comes back with a tray full of more food than two people could possibly consume

go big or go home amirite

insists on feeding you

just really loves doing sweet, romantic things with you

determined to spoil you~

constantly looking at the band on your ring finger

a lovesick smile spreading onto his face each time he sees it

occasionally pushes back the furniture in the living room because he wants to slow dance with you

puts on soft music and pulls you into his arms

presses lingering kisses to your temple every so often, content with you in his arms

sometimes picks dinner up on his way home

decides one day he wanted to adopt a puppy

didn’t even approach the topic like a normal person

just looked at you in the middle of a movie and said ‘let’s get a dog’

the cutest with doggies

pets them all even ones he probably shouldn’t akjnds

pauses in his affection when a teeny pup comes up and sniffs his leg

turns to mush the second its little tongue pokes out and its tail wags

and now you have a new member in your family~

a cute little girl with sparkly eyes and the most adorable bark

who is spoiled rotten by her daddy

treats and toys galore~

bought a dog bed far too big for her

keeps insisting she’ll grow into it

(she won’t)

loves cuddling with you and the puppy

makes him soft and his heart warm and he feels so complete

constantly wraps you up in back hugs

gives you kisses out of the blue

dances out his frustrations/anger whenever you two fight

comes back once he’s calm and pulls you into a hug, silently asking for forgiveness if he was wrong or forgiving you if you were

hugs you when you’re holding your pup and sandwiches her between the two of you

comes home tired and instantly feels a better the moment he lays his head on your lap and you start running your fingers through his hair

lets out a fond chuckle when your puppy hops up and starts licking his face

truly feels like the luckiest man on earth

#astro #astro kpop #rocky #astro rocky #park minhyuk #astro headcanons #astro scenarios #astro au #rocky headcanons #rocky scenarios #rocky au #kpop headcanons #kpop scenarios #kpop au #mine #happy birthday my favorite pebble 💘

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lucygloom753-blog · 7 years

Text

Everything Johnny Cade says in the book.

“Leave her alone, Dally.”

“You sure didn’t show it. Nobody talks to Dally like that.”

“Sixteen.”

“How come y’all ain’t scared of us like you were Dally?”

“Dally’s okay. He’s tough, but he’s a cool old guy.”

“Hey, Two-Bit.”

“Aw, cut it out! Dally was bothering them and when he left they wanted us to sit with them to protect them. Against wisecracking greasers like you, probably.”

“Soda?”

“There was a whole bunch of them. A blue Mustang full...I got so scared..”

“Your boyfriends?”

“Gee, I thought you and Darry and Soda got along real well...”

“It’s the truth. I don’t care.”

“It’s because we’re greasers. We could have hurt her reputation.”

“Man, that was a tuff car. Mustangs are tuff.”

“I can’t take much more. I’ll kill myself or something.”

“Well, I won’t. But I gotta do something. It seems like there’s gotta be someplace without greasers or Socs, with just people. Plain, ordinary people.”

“Ponyboy. Hey, Pony, wake up.”

“I don’t know. I went to sleep, too, listening to you rattle on and on. You’d better get home I think I’ll stay all night out here.

“Okay.”

“Easy, Ponyboy. We’ll be okay.”

“Well, don’t be. You’re scarin’ me. What happened? I never seen you bawl like that.”

“I think I like it better when the old man’s hittin’ me. At least then I know he knows who I am. I walk in that house, and nobody says anything. I walk out, and nobody says anything. I stay away all night, and nobody notices. At least you got Soda. I ain’t got nobody.”

“It ain’t the same as having your own folks care about you. It just ain’t the same.”

“Okay. Okay.”

“Ain’t you about to freeze to death, Pony?”

“I don’t know. But I bet they’re looking for us. We picked up their girls.”

“It’s too late now. Here they come.”

“You’re outa your territory. You’d better watch it.”

“I killed him. I killed that boy.”

“Go ahead. I won’t look at you.”

“Yeah. I had to. They were drowning you, Pony. They might have killed you. And they had a blade...they were gonna be me up...”

“Yeah. Like they did before.”

“They ran when I stabbed him. They all ran.”

“Calm down, Ponyboy. Get ahold of yourself.”

“We gotta get outa here. Get somewhere. Run away. The police’ll be here soon. We’ll need money. And maybe a gun. And a plan.”

“Dally. Dally’ll get us outa here.”

“I think at Buck Merril’s place. There’s a party over there tonight. Dally said somethin’ about it this afternoon.”

“Dally! We gotta see Dally.”

“We figured you could get us out if anyone could. I’m sorry we got you away from the party.”

“Wish I had me a weed.”

“Sure, Dally, thanks.”

“Now.”

“The first stop’ll be Windrixville. I don’t see why he gave me this. I couldn’t shoot anybody.”

“Blast it, Ponyboy. You must have put my legs to sleep. I can’t even stand up. I barely got off that train.”

“That’s okay. I didn’t want to wake you up until I had to.”

“Go ask someone. The story won’t be in the paper yet. Make like a farm boy taking a walk or something.”

“I’ll have to stay here. You go down the road and ask the first person you see where Jay Mountain is. Then come back. And for Pete’s sake, run a comb through your hair and quit slouching down like a thug.”

“You know, you look an awful lot like Sodapop, the way you’ve got your hair and everything. I mean, except your eyes are green.”

“Shoot, you are too.”

“I swear, Ponyboy, you’re gettin’ to act more like Two-Bit every day.”

“Come on inside. Dally told us to stay inside.”

“A week’s supply of baloney, two loaves of bread, a box of matches...”

“I remembered you sayin’ something about it once. And me and you went to see that movie, ‘member? I thought you could maybe read it out loud and help kill time or something.”

“We’re gonna cut our hair, and you’re gonna bleach yours. They’ll have our descriptions in the paper. We can’t fit ‘em.”

“We’d have to anyway if we got caught. You know the first thing a judge does is make you get a haircut.”

“I don’t know either—it’s just a way of trying to break us. They can’t really do anything to guys like Curly Shepard or Tim; they’ve had about everything done to them. And they can’t take anything away from them because they don’t have anything in the first place. So they cut their hair.”

“Oh, come on, Ponyboy. It’ll grow back.”

“No. We gotta bleach it first.”

“Cut the front and thin out the rest. I’ll comb it back after I wash it.”

“Go ahead and cut it.”

“I guess—I guess we’re disguised.”

“Oh, shoot. It’s just hair.”

“Well, we got to get used to it. We’re in big trouble and it’s our looks or us.”

“I’m sorry I cut off your hair, Ponyboy.”

“I know. Things have been happening so fast...”

“Two-Bit shoulda been in that little one-horse store. Man, we’re in the middle of nowhere; the nearest house is two miles away. Things were layin’ out wide open, just waitin’ for somebody slick like Two-Bit to come and pick ‘em up. He coulda walked out with half the store. Good ol’ Two-Bit.”

“Stop it! Shut up about last night! I killed a kid last night. He couldn’t of been over seventeen or eighteen, and I killed him. How’d you like to live with that?”

“I didn’t mean to, but they was drownin’ you, and I was so scared...There sure is a lot of blood in people.”

“This is my fault for bringin’ a thirteen-year-old kid along. You ought to go home. You can’t get into any trouble. You didn’t kill him.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Ponyboy. Don’t cry, Pony, we’ll be okay. Don’t cry...”

“Yeah.”

“Nope. We’re all cried out now. We’re gettin’ used to the idea. We’re gonna be okay now.”

“I bet they were cool ol’ guys. They remind me of Dally.”

“Yeah...in the manners bit, and the charm, too, I guess. But one night I saw Dally gettin’ picked up by the fuzz, and he kept real cool and calm the whole time. They was gettin’ him for breakin’ out the windows in the school building, and it was Two-Bit who did that. And Dally knew it. But he just took the sentence without battin’ an eye or even denyin’ it. That’s gallant.”

“Golly. That sure is pretty.”

“The mist was what was pretty. All gold and silver.”

“Too bad it couldn’t stay like that all the time.”

“What?”

“Where’d you learn that? That was what I meant.”

“You know, I never noticed colors and clouds and stuff until you kept reminding me about them. It seems like they were never there before. Your family sure is funny.”

“I didn’t mean nothing. I meant, well, Soda kinda looks like your mother did, but he acts just exactly like your father. And Darry is the spittin’ image of your father, but he ain’t wild and laughing all the time like he was. He acts like your mother. And you don’t act like either one.”

“Yeah. I guess we’re different.”

“You’re starved?”

“Yeah. Whatever gave you the idea we ain’t?”

“You sure can cuss good, Dally.”

“You’d better believe it.”

“Gee, it sure will be good to get into a car again.”

“A spy? Who?”

“Cherry? The Soc?”

“Yeah.”

“We’re goin’ back and turn ourselves in.”

“I said we’re goin’ back and turn ourselves in.”

“I got a good chance of bein’ let off easy. I ain’t got no record with the fuzz and it was self-defense. Ponyboy and Cherry can testify to that. And I don’t aim to stay in that church all my life.”

“We won’t tell that you helped us, Dally, and we’ll give you back the gun and what’s left of the money and say we hitchhiked back so you won’t get into trouble. Okay?”

“I’m sure. It ain’t fair for Ponyboy to have to stay up in that church with Darry and Soda worryin’ about him all the time. I don’t guess...I don’t guess my parents are worried about me or anything?”

“My parents, did they ask about me?”

“I was scared. I still am. I guess we ruined our hair for nothing, Ponyboy.”

“Would you rather have me living in hide-outs for the rest of my life, always on the run?”

“Hey, Ponyboy.”

“The window stopped him.”

‘Naw...Too fat.”

“Where’s the kids?”

“Shut up! We’re goin’ to get you out!”

“Get out!”

“Hey, y’all.”

“Don’t...don’t let me put enough grease on my hair. “

“He came by.”

“Came to see Dally.”

“Tuff enough.”

“The book—can you get another one?”

“Yeah, it just hurts sometimes. It usually don’t...I can’t feel anything below the middle of my back...”

“I’m pretty bad off, ain’t I, Pony?”

“I won’t be able to walk again. Not even on crutches. Busted my back.”

“You want to know something, Ponyboy? I’m scared stiff. I used to talk about killing myself...I don’t want to die now. It ain’t long enough. Sixteen years ain’t long enough. I wouldn’t mind it so much if there wasn’t so much I ain’t done yet and so many things I ain’t seen. It’s not fair. You know what? That time we were in Windrixville was the only time I’ve been away from our neighborhood.”

“I don’t want to see her.”

“I said I don’t want to see her. She’s probably come to tell me about all the trouble I’m causing her and about how glad her and the old man’ll be when I’m dead. Well, tell her to leave me alone. For once—for once just to leave me alone.”

“Hey.”

“Useless...fighting’s no good...”

“Ponyboy.”

Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.”

#theoutsiders #johnnycade

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isolavirtuosa · 7 years

Text

Unlikely Office Romances 5-6

[fanfiction] Gundam Wing, 1x2x1, probably PG-13ish though there are some mildly sexy times and the usual trashmouth

Dr. Heero Yuy, Preventers forensics expert, can’t seem to get over his crush on his former wartime comrade Agent Duo Maxwell. Agent Duo Maxwell can’t seem to stand the sight of him… and yet…?

Parts 1-2

Parts 3-4

Parts 5-6 under the cut

- 5 -

I glanced down at my phone and snickered at the picture Quatre had sent me of him and Mariemaia. Quatre had a fake mustache, looking like a B-movie villain as Instructor H. Mariemaia had a fake nose, mustache, and a stuffed mushroom toy on her head, clearly portraying Professor G. They were both holding up gunpla models and trying to look serious.

“Hey, who’s sending you amusing texts?” Trowa asked, elbowing me in the side. “That’s my gig.”

I swiveled the barstool I was sitting on, holding my phone up for him to see.

“…Quatre…?” Trowa said slowly, seeming confused.

“Yeah, I dunno, we’ve been getting along really good lately.”

“Okay, but Quatre?”

“What’s the matter, Tro, ya jealous?”

Trowa hesitated.

I cracked up. “What, are you afraid Quat’ll steal your important job of making sarcastic comments to me throughout the workday?”

“It’s a time-honored duty,” Trowa said solemnly, but there was something off in his expression.

“No, really, what’s up?” I asked, looking into his eyes.

“Nothing,” Trowa said with a relaxed shrug.

“Do you still have a crush on Quatre?!” I asked, getting gleeful.

“When did I ever?” Trowa asked, arching his eyebrow.

“When we were all lonely teenage boys, and the two of you would sneak off together to blow each other’s flutes.”

Trowa rolled his eyes, taking a long pull from his beer. “The only two of us who were crushing on each other were you and Yuy.”

“You bastard, I can’t believe you would bring that up!”

“You just accused me of… and I quote, ‘blowing Quatre’s flute’.”

“Yeah, but I told you that Heero thing in confidence, when I was very inebriated.”

“And you should have known that I would find the perfect moment to exploit it.”

“You’re the worst best friend ever. I’m gonna promote Hilde to Best Friend Number One.”

“Hey, you do what you gotta do,” Trowa said, seemingly unaffected by my very real and serious threat.

I sighed loudly, signaling the bartender for another drink. I turned back to Trowa, eyes suspicious. “So you’re not harboring latent homosexual feelings for Quatre?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but no.”

“Oh, well that’s good, ’cause he’s totally hittin’ it with Dorothy.”

“That cannot even possibly be true.”

“I’m dead serious.”

“Is this like your Wufei and Sally theory, because I gotta say…?”

“That one’s true, too. Look, I can’t control the heteros and their weird mating choices, I can only report them to you factually.”

“Yeah, okay, but… Quatre? And Dorothy?”

“That’s Secretary of State Catalonia to you,” I said, snickering as I did every time Dorothy and her damn eyebrows showed up on my television.

“Who is voting for her?”

“Apparently Quatre and the entire Maganac Corps, which is like what, ninety percent of the voting population?”

“There aren’t that many members. More like seventy… three percent,” Trowa corrected me.

“The point still stands,” I said, gesturing at him with my drink. “That woman slept her way into office.”

“Eergh,” Trowa said with a shudder. “You’re serious? Do we need to sit Quatre down and have an intervention?”

“I already tried,” I said with a sad shake of my head. “And now every time that I hear she’s gonna be coming to L1 for something, I’m gonna keep picturing their booty call and I won’t be able to sleep for days.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You say that, but you know I’m right.”

“Oh my god, Quatre and Dorothy…” Trowa muttered, then kicked back his entire drink. “Why do you keep telling me these horrible things?”

“Because I care about you, obviously.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Says you, bub.”

“How many drinks have you had?”

“Not enough?” I said with a grin that announced I was clearly lying. I had definitely bypassed my usual self-imposed limit, but lately I just found Marty’s depressing.

“Yeah, okay, I think it’s time to head home,” Trowa said, taking my beer and drinking it for me.

“Jerk,” I said. “Wanna come over and hang?”

Trowa blinked slowly, then shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

“Cool, man, cool,” I said, wobbling to my feet. God, I was lame, getting completely plastered like a kid. I was an adult now. I was practically thirty.

“Are you going to make it to your place?” Trowa asked, looking back as he led the way to my apartment.

“Yeah, sure, I’m fine,” I said, laughing for no reason.

“Maxwell, get it together,” Trowa said with a sad head shake.

“I’m so together I’m like a puzzle.”

Trowa didn’t deem that worth responding to.

I gave my own cleverness a pity laugh and followed Trowa up the stairs.

My apartment was a swinging bachelor pad, and I was more than happy to welcome Trowa into my home. If only the damn key would fit in the lock.

“Give me that,” Trowa said, fingers brushing mine as he took the key away.

“I was just about to get it…” I protested.

“No, no you weren’t,” Trowa said, sticking the key in the lock and turning it with ease.

“Are you a wizard?” I marveled.

“Yes, Duo, you’ve discovered my secret,” Trowa said, ushering me inside. “During my free time, I wear a tall hat and carry a magic wand, and I go to Heero and Quatre’s Dungeons and Dragons parties.”

“Ahahaha, I can see that,” I cackled. “They’re such nerds,” I added for good measure.

“Oh, I thought Quatre was your new BFF.”

“Yeah, my nerdy BFF.”

“So does the nerdy BFF rank higher or lower than the sexy and witty BFF?”

“I already told you that Hilde’s number one, HA!”

“Bantering with you when you’re drunk lacks a certain amount of… finesse…” Trowa mused, sitting me on the couch.

“Sorry I haven’t been finessing you,” I said, laying my head on the back of the couch. “What’re all these black spots in my eyes?”

“How much did you drink?” Trowa asked, leaning in front of me and looking into my eyes, a slight wrinkle between his brows.

“I might have had a drink or twelve before you came…” I said, trying to count the actual number of drinks I’d had and failing.

Trowa sat down next to me, looking worried.

“I’m fine, Tro, no worries.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Trowa said, “but I don’t believe you.”

“No, really,” I said. “It’s not like I’ve been binge drinking to fill the sad, lonely void in my heart.”

Trowa stared at me.

“Oh, damn, is that what I’ve been doing?” I muttered. Then I laughed for good measure. Gotta keep things light.

“You are in a sad state,” Trowa commented, parking himself next to me and bumping my knee with his.

We were both quiet for a while.

“Is this it?” I finally said.

Trowa turned his eyes on me, calmly waiting for me to continue.

“I guess I spent my youth just surviving, and now here I am, happy peaceful life and all that shit, but like… is this it? Is this what life is supposed to be?”

“What else should it be?” Trowa prodded.

“I don’t know, but Christ, like is this what we were fighting for? For people to have really fucking pointless nine to five office jobs where they don’t actually do anything, so they can get paychecks, so they can get drunk and forget about how much their lives suck?”

Trowa was looking at me funny.

“What?!” I asked.

“I think you’re just bored, to be honest,” Trowa said. “And also having a midlife crisis.”

I mused that over for a bit. “Yes… bored… yes! So simple, yet so deep.”

“I don’t know about deep,” Trowa said. “I was just stating the obvious.”

“No, no, you are way deep, man,” I said, patting him on the back. “You just get me.”

“Do I?” Trowa said, and there was something sad in his eyes.

“Hey, what’s that about?” I asked climbing up his arm and staring into his eyes. They were really green and kind of bewitching, and I was clearly not sobering up fast enough.

“What?” Trowa asked, leaning his face away from mine.

“I wish I could see inside of your brain,” I said mournfully.

“I’m going to get you some water,” Trowa said, moving to get up.

“Don’t leave me!” I protested, holding onto his arm.

“Duo, your kitchen is two feet away.”

“Troooowaaaa, I’m having an existal… eximastential crisis here.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Huh,” I said. “No clue.”

Trowa let out a long, exasperated breath. He stayed seated, and I stayed holding onto his arm.

“Sorry, Tro, I’m terrible company tonight,” I said, resting my cheek against his shoulder.

“It’s not really different from any other night,” Trowa said in what I interpreted as a fond way.

“Ha, burn,” I said, letting my eyes slide shut. I was suddenly very tired.

I woke up tucked in my bed with a horrible headache.

Sitting up made everything in my body go crazy, but lying back down didn’t help.

And why did my damn phone have to be ringing?

“Shut uuuuup,” I groaned, flailing my hand around on the nightstand. I managed to knock the phone on the ground, making me groan louder.

I didn’t remember getting out of bed to get my phone. I did remember suddenly realizing that I was lying prone on the floor, with my phone jammed under my back. I rolled off of it with a quiet string of curses and picked it up to check the missed calls.

Preventer’s Headquarters. Damn.

I hit redial, and held the phone in the general direction of my ear.

“Maxwell, get down here now.”

“Huh?” I said.

“Office. Now.”

�� “But… it’s Sunday… I think?”

“Oh, well in that case let me call the terrorists and let them know that they need to put their plans on hold because it’s your day off.”

“Thanks, Wufei, you’re the man.”

Wufei hung up on me.

I groaned, crawling across the floor in the general direction of my bathroom. Surely a shower would solve all of my problems.

I don’t know how I got to the office. Trowa had left some hangover meds sitting out on my kitchen counter for me, which probably helped.

“What did you do last night?” Hilde asked, giving me a onceover as she held the elevator door.

“Sadly, no one,” I said, sidling up next to her and trying not to fall over.

“A tragedy,” Hilde said, hitting the door’s close button.

“The real tragedy is why the hell are we at the office on a perfectly good day off?”

“Because some stupid kids are fancying themselves revolutionaries, and we have to clean up their mess.”

“Damn, that sounds bitingly familiar.”

“Huh?” Hilde said, then gave it some proper thought. “Ha, yeah. You guys were so off track with your gundams and your military aggression.”

“What a clusterfuck that all was, good thing you straightened me out,” I said, holding the open door button as Hilde got out.

“No one could ever straighten you out,” Hilde said, sounding more serious than the previous tone of the conversation.

“Was that a gay joke or a subtle jab about me leaving you on L2?”

“Maybe a little bit of both,” Hilde said breezily, pushing her way into the office. “Good morning, Preventers.”

“Good morning!” Andrea chirped, looking perfectly put together.

I eyed her suspiciously.

“Coffee?” she offered, pointing to the coffee maker.

I eyed it with disdain, then shrugged. “Yes, please.”

Sally was wheeling the white board out of her office, and all kinds of important-looking things were scribbled on it. “Are we all here yet?”

“I sent Barton down to the laboratory to get Winner and Yuy,” Wufei said, rising to his feet from behind his desk.

“Okay,” Sally said. “Maxwell, Warner, you look like shit.”

“But you look gorgeous,” I said, trying to look winsome and charming.

Sally snorted.

“I just went to bed an hour ago,” Daniel complained.

“Poor baby,” Sally said, dropping a huge file on Daniel’s desk, making him jump. “Maybe you’re in the wrong line of work.”

Daniel looked confused, tired, and a little bit like he needed a hug.

“Here ya go,” Andrea said, handing me a mug of coffee.

“Thanks, darling,” I said, accepting and downing the swill that our office deemed ‘coffee’.

“Hail, hail, the gang’s all here,” Sally said, watching as Trowa came into the office with Quatre and Heero in tow. “Let’s get started, then, shall we?”

Wufei joined Sally at the white board, pointing to some squiggles. “At 0300 hours, shots were reported at the Vice President’s residence. Her body was found shortly afterwards. A group calling themselves Black Freedom posted a video online, taking credit for the assassination.”

“Black Freedom?” I snorted.

“Maxwell, a woman is dead,” Wufei snarled at me.

“It doesn’t make the name any less stupid.”

“We’re dispatching a team to Earth immediately to investigate the scene,” Sally cut in, knowing that Wufei and I were heading towards yet another argument. “Maxwell and Schbeiker, that’s you. Yuy will lead forensics.”

I was halfway through a high five with Hilde about our free vacation to Earth, not to mention the potential to discharge our firearms on bad guys, when I realized that Heero was coming with us.

Heero Yuy, dressed in women’s jeans and a lab coat, holding a mug from that godawful sci-fi Gundam series that had aired last year. Heero Yuy, who wrote short novellas for lab reports and made sure you read every inane detail. Heero Yuy, who Quatre thought for some inexplicable reason was the man of my dreams.

I didn’t miss the grin that Quatre shot me at the ‘happy’ news.

God help me.

- 6 -

I was at the spaceport thirty minutes after Wufei concluded our briefing. Neither Duo nor Hilde had arrived, so I waited awkwardly by myself.

Quatre kept sending me messages with excessive smiley faces.

I turned off my phone, crossing my arms over my chest and tapping my foot impatiently.

Hilde and Duo came strolling in twenty minutes later, arm-in-arm and laughing about something or other.

Probably me.

“Hey, Yuy,” Hilde greeted me. “Let’s go,” she said, pointing in the direction of the shipyard.

“Fine,” I said, falling into stride with them.

“You don’t have to be so bitchy about it,” Duo muttered.

“How am I being bitchy?” I asked, feeling both irritated and nervous. Duo always brought out the worst in me.

“You with your sour looks and your crossed arms,” Duo said dismissively, scanning his ID to open the gate to the shipyard.

I wanted to retort, but Duo was already halfway to the ship.

Hilde and I scanned our IDs and followed.

The ride to Earth wasn’t much better. Duo and Hilde joked and laughed up in the front, while I sat in the back silently.

I just wanted to be in my lab, autopsying bodies or helping Quatre build new top secret machinery.

When we landed, we were greeted by the South American branch of the ESUN Bureau of Investigation, and were escorted to Vice President Fernandez’s house.

“Why does it pay so damn well to be a politician?” Duo muttered as we pulled up to the estate.

“Kickbacks? Money laundering? Extortion?” Hilde suggested

“Shit, we got into the wrong business.”

“Most people are already rich before they become politicians,” I said, because they were both clearly missing the point. “Relena’s salary as Vice Foreign Minister is less than what you make.”

“Oh, so you have to buy your way into politics?” Duo said with a snort. “Makes sense.”

“And then you get even richer with the kickbacks and money laundering and extortion?” Hilde said.

“Relena isn’t like that,” I said.

“Relena, Relena, Relena,” Duo said, getting out of the car. “Not everyone can be as perfect as your precious Relena.”

“And not every politician is as corrupt and self-serving as you think,” I said, following him up the winding walkway.

“You two are cute when you argue,” Hilde said, pinching Duo’s cheek.

Duo grimaced at her.

“We’re not arguing,” I said, because we weren’t.

Suarez, our ESUNBI guide, stopped us at the front door, which was crosshatched with yellow crime scene tape. “We’ve preserved the scene as best as we could,” he said, pulling the door open and breaking the tape. “That’s our forensics team, now,” he added, gesturing to the van that had just pulled into the driveway. “They’re at your disposal.”

“Okay, Yuy, you take the lead,” Hilde said. “Duo and I want to take a quick look at the crime scene, then we’ll head out.”

I nodded, feeling more comfortable already. Collecting fibers, that was something I was good at.

“Dr. Yuy,” Suarez said, gesturing politely for me to go inside.

“Don’t touch anything,” I warned, and I could feel Duo rolling his eyes as he came in behind me.

The body had already been taken to the morgue, so I set the forensics team on scouring the crime scene, a second story bedroom.

“Looks like it was two guys, one waiting in the garden while the other scaled the wall and climbed in the window,” Hilde reported to me.

“Okay, I’ll check the garden and the outlying area next,” I said. I was examining the blood splatter as she talked, only half-listening but sure to recall it later.

“Duo and I are going to head into town,” Hilde continued. “Meet us at the hotel whenever you’ve finished, and call us if you find anything important.”

“Yes,” I said, waving her off.

“See ya,” she said, striding out of the room.

Hilde and I had been working together for years, and I felt at ease with her. She trusted me to do my job, and I trusted her to do hers.

When I’d finished at the crime scene, one of the forensic investigators took me to their lab.

Hilde and Duo came to get me when it had gotten to midnight. I hadn’t noticed the passage of time.

“Time to get some sleep, Yuy,” Hilde reprimanded me.

The three of us went back to the hotel, where we found that Une had reserved two rooms for us.

“Whaddya say, Hil, just like old times?” Duo asked, waggling his eyebrows at her.

“You’re a boy and you smell,” Hilde said. “I’ll take the single.”

“Hildeeeeee,” Duo gasped out, aghast.

I was with Duo, I would much rather have had the single room.

“Well, then I guess it’s just like even older times,” Duo said, giving me an amused look after he got over pouting.

“Don’t remind me,” I said.

“Duo is the worst roommate,” Hilde chimed in.

“Don’t I know it,” I muttered, pressing the elevator button for the eighth floor.

“In what way am I possibly the worst roommate?!” Duo protested.

“In every way,” I said flatly.

Hilde snorted.

“Hilde Schbeiker, don’t be telling lies,” Duo said, waggling his finger at her. “We had good times in the scrapyard.”

“Yeah, real good times,” Hilde said. “Like how I had to wash all your clothes and your dishes, and clean up your room so we wouldn’t get cockroaches. Good times.”

“I’m not that messy.”

“You used to leave half-eaten sandwiches in my pillow,” I interjected. “What possible reason would there be to put a sandwich in a pillow?”

“To save them for later, obviously,” Duo retorted.

Hilde was cracking up as the elevator door opened.

“It was my pillow!” I snapped.

“Yeah, well I didn’t want them in my pillow,” Duo said with a shrug.

“Holy Christ,” Hilde gasped out, exhausted from laughing.

I was secretly pleased, despite the annoyed look on my face. Duo and I had always communicated best by being contrary with one another, and when I stopped with the stuttering and social awkwardness, apparently we still could.

“Maybe you two should room together since you’re best friends now,” Duo muttered. “We’re in 810,” he said, pointing to the sign outside of the elevator that directed rooms 801-820 to the left and 821-840 to the right.

“And I’m conveniently in 811,” Hilde said as we all moved towards the left.

I stopped mid-step, reaching for Hilde’s arm and yanking her towards me.

Hilde was going for her gun with her other arm, and Duo already had his out and pointed.

The sound of gunshots splintered the quiet of the hallway.

We were all back in the alcove with the elevator, the only cover we could take.

“Fucking amateurs,” Duo muttered, pulling another gun out of the holster at the small of his back and pressing it into my hands. “Should’ve waited until we were separated and in our rooms.”

“I-I can’t take this,” I said, pushing the gun back at him with shaking hands.

“I can’t babysit you, Yuy,” Duo snarled, whirling around the corner with his gun pointed, firing shots before quickly ducking back behind the safety of the wall.

“They’re shooting from a room, so they’ve got more cover than us,” Hilde murmured into Duo’s ear.

They were busy planning strategy while I was shaking like a coward.

Count back from ten and reset. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

I took a deep breath, my hands steadying. I hadn’t held a real gun in years, yet it still felt like second nature to me.

“Okay, on three,” Hilde whispered.

“Three!” Duo said, and they both rushed into the hall, sliding their bodies into doorways as they fired.

I was providing cover fire for them, when I felt a prickling at the back of my neck. I whirled around to face the other end of the hallway, firing off three shots in rapid succession without registering what I was doing.

The man cried out, dropping to the floor. His gun clattered from his hand, and a bullet went wild down the hallway.

There was so much blood. I knew right away that I’d hit something vital. The man was dying, a pained gurgling sound coming out of his throat.

No, not man. Boy. He couldn’t have been any older than I was during Operation Meteor.

I dropped my gun and vomited.

Duo was suddenly at my side, pulling me back into the alcove. “Yeah, Wu, we’ve got two shooters, one dead and one incapacitated. Schbeiker’s been shot, but it’s just a flesh wound, or so she said as she bled all over me. She’s cuffing the first shooter… Mm, no one else is making an appearance, but we can’t be sure that they’re the only two… Yeah, thanks. I’ll check back in later,” Duo concluded, turning off the radio in his ear. “Heero, you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” I asked harshly.

“Dumb question, I know,” Duo said, rubbing my back as I sat with my head between my knees, trying to breathe deeply. “But we’re not out of this yet, okay? So can you be Super Soldier Heero Yuy for a little longer?”

“No,” I said flatly, but I was already counting again. Ten nine eight seven six fivefourthreetwoone. I took a deep breath, and I was calm. I shrugged Duo’s hand away from me.

“You’re good?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. We need to cover Hilde to the elevator,” Duo said, pointing with his finger to the right while he pointed his gun to the left.

I took watch of the right side, eyes glancing over the crumpled body in my sweep but never lingering on it.

Hilde whistled at us.

Duo whistled back.

Hilde started making her way down the hallway cautiously, the first shooter handcuffed and being pushed along in front of her.

I kept focused on my side of the hallway, eyes taking in all of the doors. I could feel Hilde’s approach, knew that she was almost there, just as a door eased open.

“Don’t move!” I ordered, gun, trained on the doorway.

It was an older man, and he looked back at me uncertainly.

“Police business, please stay in your room,” Duo interjected, though he wasn’t looking at the man. He had the left side to watch.

Hilde shoved the shooter into the alcove with us and hit the down button of the elevator.

“What’s going on?” the man questioned. “I heard the shots, and…”

“Just stay in your room,” I said, echoing Duo.

The man nodded, retreating inside and closing the door.

“Holy fuck, that was unnecessary for my heart,” Duo muttered, backing into the alcove with his gun still trained in front of him.

“ESUNBI has the first floor secured,” Hilde said, getting into the elevator with the prisoner.

Duo and I got in, and we started descending.

I didn’t let myself relax, because I knew if I turned off the machine, I would break down.

“How’s the arm, Hil?” Duo asked, leaning against the back wall and looking casual. In actuality, he was watching the now docile prisoner like a hawk.

“Peachy keen,” Hilde said.

“You and Heero head to the hospital, and I’ll escort our friend here to the interrogation.”

“I’m fine-” Hilde started to protest.

“Get it patched up and meet me at the station.”

“Are you trying to give me orders?”

“No one can make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“True enough,” Hilde agreed, nudging the shooter out the door.

There was a team of agents waiting for us. Hilde and I got pushed off towards one car, while Duo and the prisoner went towards another one.

“You okay?” Hilde asked in the car.

“Fine,” I said.

“You seem… different,” she said, eyeing me up and down.

I met her gaze evenly.

“Less like a lab geek, more like the savior of the world and setter of his own broken bones,” she said.

I continued to stare at her.

Hilde smiled. “Weirdly, I like you better as a dork.”

“Hn.”

Hilde touched my hand lightly, then curled her fingers around mine.

I took a breath, exhaling it slowly.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve been in a fire fight, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said quietly.

“You saved our asses, Yuy,” Hilde said. “He was already firing when you took him out.”

I suddenly wanted to vomit again, but I held it in, bile burning up my throat.

Hilde studied my face, then turned to face forward, squeezing my hand.

I squeezed back, watching the passing lights of the city.

At the hospital, Hilde and I both got looked at by the doctor, and I got handed a pill and glass of water for ‘shock’.

“I’m not in shock,” I muttered, but took the pill anyway.

One of the ESUNBI agents interviewed me about the shooting, then Hilde emerged from getting her arm bandaged up, and we were off to the police station.

“Told you they were amateurs,” Duo muttered as we came in. “He was talking before I’d so much as started my bad cop/bad cop routine.”

“What, you already broke him?!” Hilde asked. “Why didn’t you wait for me…?”

“Sorry, Hil, looks like this case is wrapped up,” Duo said, standing up and leading us through the door we’d just come through. “He gave up Black Freedom’s headquarters on L2, and basically gave me a detailed biography of every member. I know everyone’s favorite color, their zodiac signs, whether they’re a lefty or a righty...”

“I knew I shouldn’t have gone to the hospital,” Hilde muttered.

“But look at this gorgeous bandage,” Duo said, giving her a charming grin.

The two of them went back and forth the entire way to the hotel.

“God, is that the sun rising?” Duo muttered, shielding his eyes as he got out of the car.

“Good work, agents,” the ESUNBI driver said.

“Yeah, thanks for all the help,” Hilde said.

“What help?” Duo muttered as the car drove off. “Anyway, can we just go the hell to sleep already?”

We went up to the tenth floor where our new rooms were. The eighth floor was still blocked off with yellow police tape.

My skin crawled as we got off the elevator.

Duo opened the door to our room, bidding Hilde goodnight before flopping straight onto one of the double beds.

I took off my shoes at the door, then went to the bathroom to wash up.

Duo was fast asleep.

I pulled out my phone and tried looking at websites and playing some games. I felt anxious, and it was hard to concentrate. I tried lying down and closing my eyes, but my eyelids projected an endless series of images.

I should have gotten more pills at the hospital.

I sat curled up in the corner of the bed, watching Duo sleep.

#fanfiction #gundam wing #1x2x1 #1x2 #unlikely office romances isola

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unfortunatelyalive · 7 years

Text

Green Grass

The day Reverend Tim died is the day the girl showed up.

I was the first person to see her, and I was only five years old at the time, but I was instantly rather nervous about this strange young lady. Hidin’ behind my momma’s skirts I watched her as she just walked into town like she owned the place, with her long, flowy black skirt and her dark gray button-up shirt and black vest. A lot o’ the women of the town immediately didn’t like her, as her topwear wasn’t exactly what they titled feminine, and they was whisperin’ about her as she strutted her way down to the main part o’ town, the part with the huge fountain.

Her black boots kicked up a small storm of red dust behind her. She had a large bag with her, it was black as well, and she had on glasses that were all circular-like, and they was about the color of Miss Clementine’s roses. She sat down on the fountain and crossed her legs all fancy-like, set her bag beside her and pulled a large book out o’ it. The book seemed to be black leather.

Her skin was really pale, so white that it was almost a light gray, and she looked like she was sick but she walked and sat so confidently that we was all confused about her. Her hair was about to her shoulders, and the town’s ladies, who all had long hair sometimes pulled up into buns, didn’t approve of that either.

Now, when this girl was sittin’ there, markin’ things down in this large book, Reverend Tim was still alive and healthy, workin’ in his office, preparin’ the next day’s sermon.

The sheriff was roamin’ around, and my momma called him over. She and I had been standin’ on the porch for the last few minutes, watching this odd girl.

“Johnny Thompson, if you’re half a good a sheriff as you claim to be, you best figure out what that odd tramp’s doin’ over yonder on the fountain.”

“Aw, but Miss Betsy, she ain’t doin’ nothin’ but readin’.”

“I don’t care, she’s dressed up funny and she’s a stranger and there is no way she is up to any good. This is a good, god-fearin’ town, Mr. Thompson, and I ain’t havin’ nobody disrupt our peace, ya hear?”

“All right, Miss Betsy, I’ll go see who she is and where she’s stayin’ and all that, But I can’t kick her outta town just for lookin’ weird.” He shrugged, tipped his hat to my momma and then to me, then walked over to the fountain.

We watched as Mr. Thompson sat down next to the girl and started saying something. She looked up at him and said something back. Then, Mr. Thompson stood up, and he seemed to be shaking. He walked back over to us quickly.

“Well? Who is she?” my momma asked him, her hands on her hips.

“She... I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, ya don’t know? And why you shakin’ like that? You look like you’ve seen a ghost of some sort.”

Momma was right. Mr. Thompson, a man who everyone thought was fearless, was quiverin’ in his boots.

“I... look, I introduced myself, and asked her her name and where she was from and all that. I was bein’ real cordial, and then she just... she looked up at me and told me to go to the church. Those were her exact words, go to the church.”

“And what’s so frightening about that?”

“She... ma’am, you’re gonna think I’m crazy, but she had at least three voices, I swear. It was like she was speakin’ in three different tones all at the same time and she didn’t even answer none of my questions-”

“Now, you calm yourself right down, Johnny Thompson. You’re the sheriff, like your father was and his father was, and you ain’t afraid of no tiny little woman, are you?”

“Miss Betsy, I swear, if you’da heard it you’d be just as scared!”

“Aw, whatever. Now, you best be gettin’ to the church.”

“Why?”

“She told you to. She might be some heretic or somethin’, she might be tryin’ to burn the church down.”

“Ah, ah yes, I’ll be getting to that right away.” And Mr. Thompson was off, trying to pretend he wasn’t still terrified of the girl but I could tell he was, he still seemed all panicky and skittish, lookin’ over his shoulders every two seconds.

About ten minutes later, Mr. Thompson came back and called everyone to the center of town, which just happened to be around the fountain. By now the strange girl had put away her book and pulled out a shovel, and was restin’ it upon her lap.

“I’ve got some bad news for y’all. There’s been a tragedy at the church: Reverend Tim suffered a heart attack and is now dead.” Mr. Thompson said to the townspeople.

Everyone gasped and I’m sure at least one person cried; Reverend Tim was everybody’s favorite person, he was kind and generous.

“The funeral’s gonna be held tomorrow in the cemetery behind the church at nine o’clock in the mornin’. Wear your best clothes.”

We all retreated back into our houses. The next morning, we all got up and got dressed in our best black outfits and went and paid our respects to Reverend Tim. Mr. Thompson was talkin’ about how great a man Reverend Tim was and how lucky we all were to have him in our town, and I was standin’ there, holdin’ my momma’s hand and I was lookin’ down at my shoes. Then I felt something... change. The air around me just seemed to be different from what it was just a second ago, it felt darker, heavier, like when you can sense a storm coming even though it’s a beautiful day. Then I looked up, and there she was; glasses, odd outfit, and all. She was standin’ up really straight, with the shovel in front of her, her hands restin’ on the handle and the other end of the shovel in the ground so that it was also standin’ up straight.

I knew it wasn’t nice to stare at people, my momma had told me that dozens of times, but I really couldn’t help it. There was an air of majesty around this woman. It felt like breakin’ one of your toys and then gettin’ a new one exactly like it, and everything is slowly starting to go back to the way it was before, but you still can’t shake the feeling that something’s missin’ even though you’re lookin’ directly at the toy and you know that nothing’s missin’, nothing’s wrong, but you still feel odd. So I was looking up at this elegant yet terrifying creature, and then she looked at me.

She didn’t even move her head, just her eyes, and before I knew it I was starin’ her straight in her dull gray eyes and she was starin’ me straight in my green-brown eyes and I was so startled that I just kept lookin’ at her, I just couldn’t look away.

Then it started rainin’ and all the women were gathering up their flocks of children and running indoors. The men were grabbin’ their shovels and followin’ the women and children. I heard my momma call my name, “Johanna! Johanna, where you at?”

“I’m comin’, Momma!” I called back, without breakin’ my gaze at the lady.

Then, once all the commotion has stopped and the only noise to be heard was my own heartbeat and the sound of the rain hittin’ everything it could, the rain stopped. The sun started shinin’ just like it was before, but nobody was comin’ out of their houses. It was completely silent.

Then the lady looked away. She started digging up Reverend Tim’s freshly dug grave, tossing the large amounts of dirt over her shoulder like it was nothing. Her work was done surprisingly quickly, and she jumped down into the grave. I stood there, watching, too afraid to say something. What I was afraid of, I can’t rightly say, but I was truly frightened.

She pulled Reverend Tim’s casket open and Reverend Tim rose up, but something told me he wasn’t exactly Reverend Tim. Something about him had changed. She then opened her bag, and pulled out a jar. Reverend Tim floated into the jar and was gone. She closed the jar, closed Reverend Tim’s casket, and pulled herself up out of the grave.

I felt as if I was in a dream. I wasn’t exactly confused, because I wasn’t trying to tell myself anything, I wasn’t trying to tell myself that this couldn’t be happening, because it was happening right in front of me.

She then filled the grave back up. When she was done, she stood there, next to the grave, and she looked me in the eyes. This time, I gathered up my courage, and I said, “Who are you?”

She opened her mouth and said, “I am whatever you wish to call me.”

Mr. Thompson was right. She did have at least three voices. One was really low, one was decently normal, and one was high pitched, and there were a few other sounds coming from her that I just couldn’t quite place. Also, she didn’t talk with the accent everybody in my town used.

“But what on Earth’s that supposed to mean?”

“I have many names, many titles. I am what all men fear yet must come to eventually.”

“Are you evil?”

“I think not.”

“Are you the Grim Reaper?”

“That is one of my names.”

“But the Grim Reaper’s evil.”

“If you had to pass into another dimension, another world, all alone, you would want anyone to accompany you, even if they wore a dark hood.”

“That makes sense, I suppose. But you’ve got to have a real name. The Grim Reaper can’t be your real name, can it?”

“I do have a real name, the one name everyone knows me by.” She paused for a moment, and looked down at the dirt on the grave. “You know what it is, don’t you, Johanna?” She smiled a small, almost undetectable smile.

“You’re Death.”

“That I am.” She took off her glasses, and for the first time I could see her dark gray eyes fully, instead of just a glimpse from behind the glasses.

“But why do you want to kill people?”

She looked up at me again. “I do not kill. Everyone must die. If there is no Death, then is there really, truly, a Life? People grow closer and closer to me every second that they exist. I do not take people before their time comes, before their soul expires. I am only here to free those who have lived long enough. This world is not as beautiful as you think, and after years of working for no reason, fighting a fight they know they will lose, people deserve to be freed.”

“But just last year, Miss Nora Pearl’s little boy died. He was only three years old at the time.”

“I remember that. It was his time. I do not make these rules, Johanna, I just guide people from this life to another, so that they do not remain on this Earth, tormented as ghosts. There is no point in life if it all comes to an end, and when someone dies they realize that. I am what comforts them, what reminds them that although everything they have ever done was useless, they are now at rest, and they no longer have to work or worry.”

“So you don’t bring people Death?”

“No. I may be Death itself, but I am not in control of who dies.”

“You don’t bring people Death, you bring people peace.”

Death smiled again. “That is a good way to think of it.” She walked towards me and grabbed my hand gently. Her hand was cold and soft. She sat down, pulling me down with her.

We sat there, on the green grass, the sun shining through the trees of the graveyard. “Johanna, I know how you are going to die. I know how everyone is going to die. When I look at you I do not see a young girl, I see your death, I see the pain and the relaxation and the tears and the sighs of relief.”

“Can you tell me how I’m gonna die?”

“No, I cannot.”

“Okay. Are you gonna have to leave soon?”

“Yes, I will.”

“You should stay. I think my momma could get used to you. I’ve always wanted an older sister. Or just a sister. All I got is older brothers.”

Death laughed quietly. “I can’t stay, I have a job to do.”

“Dadgum. Well, I did enjoy your company. Will I ever see you again?”

“Once more.”

“Well, once more’s better than nevermore. My momma’s probably worried sick about me, you know.”

“I know. Johanna, please promise me something.”

“What am I promising?”

“Promise me you will never fear me or tell others to fear me. Promise me you will never forget all that I told you. Promise me you will not pretend that Death is a monstrous thing.”

“I promise.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”

It started raining again. The sky immediately turned gray.

“Johanna Winnifred, where are you?” my momma was yellin’ off in the distance.

I turned my body around and yelled back at my momma, “I’m comin’, don’t you worry!”

Then I turned back around to say goodbye to Death, but she was gone. Where she had been sittin’ was her glasses, all circular and pink. I picked ‘em up and put ‘em in one of the pockets in my dress, and got up and ran to my house.

“Johanna, why did you just stand out in the rain? It’s been rainin’ for a few minutes now, ain’t you noticed?”

“I... I just got distracted, I suppose.”

“Well, you need to not get distracted so much. Now go clean yourself up, we’re gonna have dinner in a few minutes.”

It was many, many years before I ever saw Death again. Considering Death is eternal, all those years must’ve been just the blink of an eye for her. Whilst she was givin’ peace to people all across the world, I was slowly gettin’ bigger and older and everyone thought I was fearless because I didn’t freak out about dyin’. In all of these years, I married, I had six children, and my six children each ended up havin’ their own children. I ended up bein’ old and frail and thinkin’ that I wasn’t afraid of dyin’ but I wasn’t too keen on dyin’ like that.

One day, I went out to old Reverend Tim’s grave. I was wearin’ circular, rose-colored glasses, and a long black dress. Then I heard a familiar voice, well to be honest, it was more than one voice.

“I told you I would see you again.”

I turned and there she was, just as beautiful and elegant as she was when I had first seen her, so many years ago.

“And I told you I’d keep my promise.”

She held out her hand, still slender, pale, and cold. I took it.

It was a warm day, but we walked away feeling freezing cold. My eldest daughter, Persephone, found me lying on the green grass where I had once sat and had a conversation with Death.

#me #story #death #horror #text post

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