#rip me trying to stay consistently posting

[madnessandentropy]

Catra's Abuse of Adora Has No Excuse

I know this is an old series. I know a lot of people don't believe in talking negatively about shows that have already ended and that it doesn't matter anymore.

But it matters to me.

Because spop has framed the abuse victim in this story as the idiot and the one in the wrong, the one who should've just stayed with her abuser and never "left" her, while the abuser gets off scott free and likely continues her actions.

Victim blaming very and real and prevalent, forgiving or defending abusers in real life is very real and prevalent.

This is an important thing to call out and discuss because what you put in your creations affects reality.

Spop IS a kids show, and kids often accept what they're exposed to as the norm or as something to copy. You can't just sweep it under the rug, saying it's just a show.

So that's why I want to talk about Catra and why all the trauma in the world does not sxcuse abusing your partner, or at the very least should not frame your partner as the one in the wrong for wanting to leave you.

Okay.

Catra is a character adored and worshipped by the fandom and defended with cult-like ferocity and obsession (death threats, gaslighting, doxxing, bullying, etc).

Many of her actions are actively ignored and excused by the fans and writiers, especially the main thing about Catra:

Her blatant abuse of Adora

I can hear the cries of outrage now

"You're just homophobic! Of course you criticise the queer couple! You just hate Catra! Catra is a victim of a abuse! They're in a war! Catra said sorry! But Catra loves Adora! You don't know what abuse is!"

And then they write an essay about Catra's sad backstory

In response to this I would like to quote one of my favourite B99 characters Jake Peralta:

Or in this case:

"Cool backstory, still abuse"

I really like Catra.

She's a cool character and an excellent villain. She has a very interesting and complicated psyche, a result of growing up in the Horde. A toxic, abusive environment that gave her attachment issues and likely ptsd and other problems. She lashes out because of her trauma, she is aggressive and rude so that she isn't vulnerable, to avoid being hurt.

There are many reasons for her actions, but it does not excuse them even if the narrative does.

Expecially her actions towards Adora, the person's she supposed to have loved all this time.

As I've said in another post, most abuse in media isn't very subtle because people still don't really take subtle abuse that seriously and often blame the victims. (Which is a whole other kettle of fish)

Not subtle abuse in media often consists of the following:

•Screaming or yelling at your partner, tearing apart their self esteem or threatening them

•Gaslighting/guiltripping them*

•Hitting them or physically assaulting them in any way

•Trying to kill them

•The victim is immensely afraid of/distressed by their abuser

*Note for this: it can depend on the depiction because its either abusive and in your face or romantic and just trying to help you depending on the story and writer

It astounds me to see Catra has done every single one of this things to Adora, and both the fandom and the writers excuse it or say "it isn't abuse, actually"

I'm gonna go through each bullet point and discuss how Catra does these things, mention excuses fans make up for it and point out their errors

Let's go

•Screaming and yelling at your partner, tearing apart their self esteem and threatening them

Catra is not someone who screams her throat raw, but she does yell when she lashes out and does so often at Adora.

She's constantly insulting her intelligence, making her doubt herself, telling her nothing she does matters, calling her weak and demeaning her.

She rips into her and treats her like trash beneath her heel when they were in the fake reality.

Again, we often see Adora repeating a similar rhetoric, believing what Catra and SW say fully or sometimes starting to believe it.

DURING her confession, Catra calla Adora an idiot. While Adora is basically dying, in this crucial moment for both of them, she resorts to insulting her intelligence.

"But her feelings were so obvious and Adora didn't notice!"

Let me tell you, spop has a massive tell don't show problem. This defence could've easily been true IF the writers bothered with evem something small like Catra hesitating to harm Adora or treating her with more care when fighting than with her other enemies, or at the very least treating her kindly.

They have done none of that. Instead they had other characters (E.g Horde Prime) talk about how much she cares for Adora and how strong her emotions are for her.

Literally the only way anyone could've known Catra loved Adora is through these characters giving exposition.

Adora is not an idiot for not realising Catra loved her, because Catra's actions do not show love or even an ounce of basic respect.

Making Adora doubt her intelligence and abilities is not love. Mocking Adora the way she does is not love. Torturing Adora is not love.

Telling Adora that she was a mistake and that "none if this would've happened if you didn't come through that portal" is not love.

Nothing she does to Adora is an act of love.

And also, not being very good at deciphering or recognising emotions that are "obvious" does not make you stupid, jfc

"Catra just says those things because she's angry, she doesn't mean them!"

It doesn't matter if she's angry and doesn't mean what she said. She says it. And there's never a scene were she regrets her words.

Her anger is a reason, not an excuse. That behaviour is not okay.

•Gaslighting/guiltripping them

Catra often likes to talk about Adora abandoned her, how Adora kept leaving her alone, and the show shifts to frame this as true and paints Adora in the wrong.

In Season 5 she's asks Adora "Please, just this once, stay?" After Catra herself being the one to run away, to make Adora feel guilty for the very much correct actions she took previously.

Adora refused to return to the Horde which was committing mass genocide and destroying everything in its path and painted as the bad guy for doing this.

Adora told Catra what they were doing. Begged Catra to come with her so they could start a new life. Throughout the series she is giving Catra chance after chance and trying her best to stay with her.

Every time, Catra has been doing the leaving.

Running away, abandoning Adora in the temple, vanishing in a blast or puff of smoke when it covers her.

She does the leaving, and she convinces Adora that it is in fact Adora leaving, and that she is bad person/friend for wanting nothing to do with the Horde.

The portal reality is the worst for me.

Adora is distressed and afraid, feeling like she's losing her mind and that something is wrong with her.

Catra, fully knowing the truth, gaslights her by saying she's crazy and just seeing things. And also is insults her intelligence yet again.

Making Adora doubt her own intelligence is also a form of manipulation and gaslighting.

Blaming Adora for everything that happened in the fake reality is gaslighting.

"But Adora DID leave Catra!"

Yeah. At the beginning after learning the Horde was committing mass genocide and after Catra tazed her twice. Refusing to go back. She was fully in the right. She apologised later and tried to get Catra to join her, so they could both continue being together. But Catra left her over and over again after that.

"The portal reality made Catra happy! It helped her cope with her trauma! She was having a mental breakdown!"

Hmm let me see isn't allowing your partner to continously be distressed and afraid and gaslighting them so you can be happy idk... selfish and abusive?

Yep she was having a break down. She was still in full control of her actions, and no trauma makes that okay in any way

•Hitting them or physically assaulting them in any way

Literally something Catra has done since they were children.

I can forgive the times they were small, because they don't know better and are abused children. But from episode one before Adora even left the Fright Zone Catra was pulling her around by the hair shoving her and over all being very aggressive.

After Adora leaves the Horde Catra: tazes her, tears at her skin with claws that can cut through metal, leaves her with scars, tortures her, kicks her and so much more.

Over and over again. Without a single sign of remorse.

"They were in a war!"

Yeah. Emphasis on the "they". Adora was in that war too. She was always worried for Catra, actively holding back, trying not to hurt too badly, treating her with respect.

Catra did none of that. She didn't even bother to show the slightest remorse or hesitate one second before clawing at her back and face.

Catra, in fact, is less violent with the sort of strangers that are Bow and Glimmer. She tackles Bow to the ground and hisses at him, that's it. Adora? Tearing at her skin, kicking her in the back, grabbing her by the face, torturing her, etc

War is not an excuse

"Catra's backstory! It's how they were raised! She's a victim of abuse copying her abuser because she doesn't know any better! She's lashing out!"

Cool backstory, still abuse.

Okay. She's lashing out. Doesn't excuse it. She is still actively harming Adora, and if she really can't control herself or see the wrong in it like some people claim, then that only supports the fact she is NOT good for Adora.

•Trying to kill them

The portal.

Catra knew what was going to happen.

She knew what she was going to cause.

She looked Adora dead in the eyes and pulled the switch anyways.

She didn't care as long as Adora lost. She is willing to let Adora die in order to win.

"But Catra wanted to die too!"

Okay. That doesn't matter. That doesn't justify anything. Being suicidal does not justify attempted murder.

"But (any excuse)!"

I honest to god do not care.

Just like Adora said:

"I didn't make you pull the switch. You made your choice. Now live with it!"

There is NO conceivable way for Catra knowingly doing what she did just so Adora didn't win to be okay.

She tried to kill the woman she supposedly loved.

That is not excusable.

That is not love.

And what's worse is after Adora begins to accept that Catra will not change and that trying to be peaceful will not work. Being together again is a dream. And the show rips that away.

•The victim is immensely afraid of/distressed by their abuser

Adora is absolutely terrified of Catra, or at the very least a bit afraid of her.

Every time Catra grabs Adora by the face or pins her down, Adora's eyes are wide with fear or at the very least immense discomfort.

In Roll With It, Adora is incredibly distressed and works herself into a complete state because nobody is considering what Catra will do.

"But Adora just wants to see Catra! She's thinking about her obsessively like this, it's a sign of her feelings!"

Adora knows what Catra is capable of. She knows what will happen to them if they aren't prepared. Planning out every possible option because of what could happen is not a sign of her feelings. It's a sign that she knows Catra will show no mercy, and she does not want the mission to fail or her friends to get hurt.

While Catra isn't directly present here, this is all because of her actions. Actions that have a reason, but not an excuse.

It is not healthy or romantic for your love interest to be afraid of you.

Moving on

At the end of the portal incident, Adora stared at Catra with cold eyes that clearly said "You've crossed a line"

It is here that many critics agrees that it's a bit late for Catra to have a redemption, because this truly was above anything else she had ever done.

This was where they could have had Adora move on from Catra and begin unlearning all the negative things Catra and others have embedded in her psyche.

If they did manage to do Catra's redemption right, whether during S5 or before it, I think it would've been best for the two of them to separate. It's made clear with how being away from the Horde and Adora made Catra happier when she was in the Crimson Waste.

I don't think either of then should've been in romantic relationships at all. Horde soldiers don't even know what proper food is, they've never heard of basic things like parties and the like.

I think it would've been better for them to slowly heal in their own time, Adora being happy with her newfound friends and learning the ways of Etheria and Catra staying in the Crimson Waste or somewhere else.

Romance should've been something to come to them when they've both matured and healed, and with different people.

Spop had the perfect opportunity to show that even if an abuser has trauma it is still abuse and it is not selfish to walk away.

It doesn't how sorry they are, it doesn't matter how much they claimed to have changed.

You are not obligated to be with them.

You are not obligated to be their punching bag just so they can be happy.

But spop didn't take that opportunity.

Instead this behaviour is excused or romanticised.

And the fact that the creator says this is based off his own relationship makes me deeply concerned.

......................................

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed and that this wasn't too much of a mess! If you disagree with me, feel free to give your reasons and I will happily discuss with you. If you're just going to call me a homophobe and throw a fit and start fights, you can screw off

Tagging: @spop-romanticizes-abuse

#spop critisism #spop critical #anti spop #anti catradora

[longtimenospooning-luci]

Poly/OT7: I

Updated 01/14/24

Burn the Stage - @adonis-koo

When your girl group breaks up you’re desperate to prove you can make it as an idol. When you stumble across a no name company called BigHit auditioning for a new member of a boy band what do you do? The only logical solution: Cross dress and attend it anyways

A Place Called Home - @agustdakasuga

Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.

Between the Bloodshed - ^^

Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of them through recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

Everything Between Us - ^^ Sequel to Between the Bloodshed

They left you without a goodbye, they broke your heart. You didn’t get your happily ever after. But now they’re back and they’re searching for you to make things right. Could you take them back into your life and let them back into your heart?

How to Sell Sunshine - @alpacaparkaseok

Mafia AU, Mob Boss MC and Bangtan Crew with a twist!

The Tales of Sisters (Queendom series) - @borathae

FemDom! Royal MC in a fantasy kingdom, each member has their own story.

Damn the Charcuterie Board - @bratkook

Yoongi x Reader x Jimin in a smutty cracky fic for the best of both worlds.

Love is Blind - @cinnaminsvga

social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way)

Dorm Duels - ^^

social media au where y/n posts an advertisement looking for a new place to stay that is closer to campus, causing seven upperclassmen to make it their mission to recruit her into their dormitories.

Betrayal - @daydream-hobii

Three words circled in your brain, betrayal being the most apparent. You were packing your bags, planning to leave you seven boyfriends before they got home, but when they get there early, you’re forced to witness their heartbreak, as well as prolong yours.

Sanctuary - ^^

It only had to happen once for you to gain seven new members of your family. Only once, that’s all it needed. You saved them from some predator hybrids and, since then, they were attached to your hip. You didn’t mind, you liked the company.

Peculiar Pack - @daydreamindollie

you’re a successful hybrid writer and psychologist, who takes in seven hybrids one stormy night after finding one of their pack stealing from your garden.

From Eden - @ddaenggtan

you’ve been in the dark a long time, overworked and exhausted. the only bright point is your gatekeeper, Hoseok, your closest friend and the man you love but can’t have. you’ve accepted that loneliness is inevitable for you. when a voice calls to you, though, and moves you so deeply that you rip open the earth to help them, you meet a mint-haired boy that changes everything you thought you knew about your prison.

Under the Same Sun - @floralseokjin

A stranger flips you and your boyfriend’s world upside down for one night…

No Doubt About it - @hoebii

Jerk Bangtan CEO AU for any angst lovers out there that need to feel the pain like me lmao.

Black Mamba - ^^

Snake Hybrid Reader trained as a government assassin gets adopted by CEO(?) Bangtan.

Dance to This/Call Me Yours - @hollyhomburg

Seokjin didn’t expect his new potential owner to be blind, but with the threat of being sent to a breeding clinic looming over his head, he’ll do anything. 

Hybrid House - ^^

To Seokjin, Home consists of his human partners Namjoon and Hoseok as well as their Hybrids; the pups- named Taehyung and Jimin, their black cat- called Yoongi, and their foxboy- called Jungkook. Together they have the happiest family possible, everyone loves everyone equally. So what happens when Namjoon finds you? a cat hybrid, beaten close to death left alone in an alleyway on the coldest night of the year? He takes you home, shows you his family, and together they teach you what love can be like.

Reasons Wretched and Divine - ^^ (One of my absolute favs!)

You live on an isolated but sprawling farm with your abusive husband, but things start to change for the better when your husband adopts a retired police dog hybrid named Namjoon.

Sugary Sweet - ^^

When you get drunk with your boyfriends- 3 things always happen: Jimin gets bratty. You get needy. And Yoongi gets impossibly irrevocably mushy gushy sugar cookie soft. 

Champagne & Sunshine - @jamaisjoons

a honeymoon in the Maldives, champagne, and your two newlywed husbands and mates - what more could you ask for?

Complaint - @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue

you work for seven CEOs who have called you into their office due to a complaint.

I Want You to Stay - ^^

your bodyguards became your best friends and you couldn’t imagine your life without them.

Our Little Love - ^^

Mafia/Soft Yandere au - you were sent to do your job you didn’t expect to fall in love

Bleeding Butterflies - ^^

Vampire au - a drop of your blood was worth that of a thousand people, but they would never allow another being to have a taste

A Bed of Roses - @jimlingss

Superpowers are supposed to make you invincible, someone who could save the world, a hero. It's not supposed to be like this...

The Seven Kinds of Love - ^^

Love, an intense feeling of deep affection.

Tomorrow - @jungk0oksthighs

when Y/N gets a job at the Jeon law firm downtown, her life gets turned upside down, but is it for better, or worse? ceo!au, lawyer!au

Voracious - @jungkookiebus

 idol!Taehyung x idol!Jungkook x reader

Date Night - @justcallmenikki7

Poly Mafia AU

Regretful Choices - ^^

You get into an argument with your boyfriends, and you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Wild, Wild, Wilderness - @kimnjss

seven days in the forest spent with your seven boyfriends while they film their upcoming reality tv show. there’s no telling what the eight of you will get into when the cameras are off.

Thought you were Different - @kookiesbuckethat

Being the owner of BTS’ favourite cafe, you find yourself growing closer to the seven members without even realizing who you were talking to. What happens when you seemingly start to treat them differently after discovering their true identities?

Broken Communication - @kpopisthereasonihavenolife

Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook for some good angst with a happy ending.

Kings of Campus - @luxekook

a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity.

You Belong to Us - @minniepetals

Just do it, read all of Minnie's stories, they are fantastic and a perfect balance of angst and fluff.

Feelings of Doubt - ^^

Yours Alone - ^^

Strawberries & Cigarettes - ^^

When the rain gets Rough - ^^

Until the Last Star Falls - ^^

Caramel Macchiato - ^^

Honey Love - ^^

Nightlight - ^^

Heartbeat - ^^

Love Poem - ^^

As Long as You're Here - ^^

A Cup of Love - ^^

A Thousand Springs - ^^

When a Demon Loves - ^^

Guardians - ^^

Milk Honey - ^^

The Butterseries - ^^

Cry Me a River - ^^

#poly!bts x reader #bts x you #poly!bts #bts drabble #bts fluff #bts angst #bts x reader #bts imagines

[tatumtater]

summary ; two post-outbreak lovers bite off more than they can chew. you had a secret but couldn't tell him before he left.

pairing ; obviously our beloved joel x reader

warning ; smut, mdni, grief, word count ; 1.9k

tease ; “ lie to me. make it believable.“ “ i love you. “ a/n ; not going to lie, i'm not sure if i like how this turned out. there will be another part but i hope this is a good start. much love.

before you arrived it was just bill and frank, two lovers just trying to survive like everyone else. at first it just started with bill, when the military evacuated civilians- bill was prepared and ready, creating the small town you like to now call “ lovers quarrel. “ it gained it’s name from you after watching the relationship of the two men who had so much love for each other that you thought they might absolutely beat the shit out of each other with their arguments. from bill and frank, too the three of you, to a small minor group, it became a city- a safe haven.

it wasn’t abnormal for joel and tess to stop by the makeshift city. their stay wasn’t usually long but they were frequent. the nights usually consisted of a small dinner and the sounds of laughter as everyone got lost in muse. full stomachs and glass after glass of wine. that’s all it took for you, with glances back and forth from joel and the shy smiles from across the table, he’d find you later that night.

clearing his throat, joel crossed his arms, “ hey. “ you glanced up from the dishes you were cleaning from dinner just hours ago. shaking your hands free of the soap and lukewarm water you turned to him, “ oh hey joel. tess isn’t here if that’s who you’re looking for. “ he shook his head, “ no, not looking for her. was lookin’ for you actually. “ you shot him a look of confusion. you couldn’t think of a reason he’d be looking for you. he sauntered over to you, placing his hands on the countertop on each side of you. he was so close you could smell the alcohol that lingered on his breath. joel sucked a breath in, leaning closer to you, your chest against his and his nose brushing past yours. “ i seen you staring darlin, “ you didn’t realize you were holding your breath until your eyes met his, turning seven shades of red, not knowing he caught you. “ and i’m gonna be honest, i couldn’t help but stare too. “

seconds felt like years. nothing was said between you two. you weren't sure if you should be doing this. weren't sure if you were suppose to be feeling like this. your internal battle must have been sensed by joel because your thoughts were interrupted with his lips joining yours, molding perfectly together. joel's hands made their way to your waist, digging his finger tips into your hips. his sloppy kisses moved from your lips to your jaw and you hummed lightly, " joel- " your hands moved up to his biceps, feeling his flex under your light touch. you've always been attracted to his arms, it proved him a man of honest work. "hmm.." his kisses landed on your neck, nipping at the skin. your hands reached for his waist, pushing your hips into his hungrily. you wanted him. you needed him.

" take it off, " his hands grip the bottom of your shirt. he moves from your neck back to your mouth, the kisses were desperate. no longer fulfilling. you two only separated long enough for your shirt to come over your head. you tug at his shirt, wanting to see what he actually looked like underneath. he leaned back, tugging his shirt up. you took the chance to study him, eyes following the shirt as it came up. he was built like a god and you weren't sure if you'd keep your hands off.

you were in a staring fit when you felt your jeans being tugged down, huffing " these need to go. " joel ripped them down with such force your hips stung a little. his fingers wrapped around your thighs, lifting you up and sitting you on the counter top. you let out a soft moan as his hands trailed up your thighs, brushing over your sweet spot over your panties, " gonna make you feel good. so good.." your hands tangled into his hair as he planted kisses from your shoulder, down your breasts and down your stomach. he pushed aside your panties, running a finger between your folds. you tugged slightly at his hair as that same finger was inserted. you leaned your head back in euphoria. " does that feel good baby? do i make you feel good? " his finger pulled out, pushing another index in. you were surprised by his next move, joel moved down, planting a soft kiss to your clit before beginning to suck on it like it was his last meal. " o-oh god. " he removes his indexes and replace them with his tongue, you're tugging at joel's hand like it's the only thing to hold on too. his hand reaches up, moving your bra over to play with your peaks. " fuck...j-joel.." your thighs are trembling as hes devouring your pussy. his tongue keeps swirling your clit, coaxing you closer to your orgasm. you throw your head back and grind your his against his face.

you can feel it, the bubble building up about to burst. just as your about to reach heaven, he pulls away. he unbuckles his belt quickly, pushing his jeans and his boxers down, exposing himself. you can't help but stare. joel isn't the first man you ever been with but he was the biggest. " get down here and bend over, " he husks and his hand pumps his shaft. you move off the counter, pushing your panties to the floor, and leaning over the counter. you stare out the window hoping that no one sees you now that you remember it's there. joel's hand lays flat on the top part of your back, pushing you flat to where your breasts are now laying on the surface. you can hear him grunt as he moves closer to you, pushing his member between your thighs to your heat. he rubs his cock between your folds, tapping it a few times. making sure you hear the wetness, " all for me. all for me a no one else. " you moan his name loudly as he finally sinks the tip into entrance. he lets out a broke rasp of your name as your walls engulf him. you feel yourself stretch and adjust to him as he slowly sinks in further, " that's it. take it all like the good girl you are. " you eyes widen as he bottoms out, nudging at your cervix. he wastes no tie pulling back out and roughly shoving himself back in, leaving you to cry out. you grip the the counter, finger nails gripping the wood.

" c-can feel you s-squeezin' " he grunts out, " can feel y-you squeezing my c-cock. " joel continues to pound into you, reaching down with one hand to rub your cit with his calloused fingers and the other hand tangled into your hair, gripping it tightly. "j-joel i'm g-gonna c-cum. " you cry out, the overwhelming sensation of him everywhere. you can't take it anymore as you can feel you high flowing through your body as he delivers intense blows to your heat. " yeah, g-gonna cum for me b-baby girl. " you scream out as your orgasm takes over your body, you couldn't hold it anymore. you're trembling under his hold, he still pounds into roughly. you can tell he's nearing his high, his thrusts become sloppy. he pushes one devastatingly last blow into your pussy, painting your walls with his seed.

" god.." you whisper stumbling back into him, your back against his chest. his arms wrap around your chest, sinking his face into your neck and leaving a small kiss.

--

joel and you made it a usual thing when they visited. he snuck of to see through the nights he stayed, sharing soft spoken words of love and tangles in the sheets. you didn't want to believe it but you knew you were falling for the rough introverted joel miller. not only were you going to tell him you true feelings for him, the love you shared for him. you would kill or be killed for him but that you were giving his gift- a gift from god. a child.

it was an unsual time of arrival for joel to show up with tess, much later than you have ever seen them pass through, dinner was already served and cleaned up. you sat around the small fire in the back yard, the swinging swaying slightly as you turned the page of your romance novel. a small knock against the door frame, caught your attention. looking up for your book there he stood in all his glory. " hello there stranger. " he shoved his hands into the front pockets, chuckling lightly. " hey there darlin. need to talk to you about somethin. " your eyebrow furrowed, looking at him. joel never came to you about needing to talk about anything. joel didn't talk about anything. " i need to talk to you too, but you go first. mine can wait. " you commented, closing your book, moving your legs for him to sit down. his arm stretched out the back on the back of the swing, playing with your finger tips. " no easy way to say this but i'm leaving. going west, i have to find my brother. it's been weeks since he stopped answering. " no. no no no. he couldn't leave you. " y-you're leaving? "

you voice shook, your heart was pounding. this is not what you wanted to hear. tears brimmed your eyes as you sucked in a breath. he was going to leave you here. here alone in overs quarrel to raise a baby. he interrupted your thoughts, moving his hand to clasp your fingers together, " i'll be back. i'll be back for you, i just need to bring him home. " you shook your head, already knowing the near death experiences he told you about prior. " it's dangerous out there joel, how can you tell me that. how can you be sure you're coming back? " your voice began to raise, fighting tears back, you breath in harshly. he can't say he's coming back when he doesn't know how long he'll be out there. " now wait a minute. i always come back. i always come back to you, he's my brother y/n, i have to make sure he's okay. " you knew this, but the hope for tommy was slim. all the way out to wyoming? not a chance. your mind scrambled, looking at anything to keep him here. " you can't leave me. i love you! " you became angry. how dare he make you fall in love and just spring this on you. " i'll be back dammit, you can't change my mind on this. " his voice raising as well, " i'm coming back for you, what else do you want me to fucking say. " "lie to me. make it believable. " joel stood up, running his fingers through his hair, letting out a aggravated sigh, " i love you. "

your heart shattered. all the feelings you developed for him, he did not return. you were around merely for his own pleasure and contempt when he comes to lincoln. you stood up, shoving your book into his chest, glaring through tears, " i hate you. " you stated with anger, surely you could hear the pain behind it. you slammed the door behind you, leaving joel to kick the frame of the porch, letting out an angry huff.

that was the last time you saw joel. or for at least a couple of years. his arrival surprised and scared you shitless as you stared at him across the fence.

" joel? "

#joel miller #joel x y/n #joel x you #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #tlou smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you

[cutielando]

with you ~ george russell

Summary: After making your relationship public, the hate you started receiving was getting to you, making you feel like you weren't enough for George. Luckily, he's there to pick you up and make you feel better.

Words: 1.1k+

Other works: my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

You knew dating George would be hard, especially after deciding to make your relationship public.

Given the fact that his fan base consisted in a very manner of girls, that made things even more complicated. Hate comments and death threats became the norm whenever one of you would post a picture with the other.

You knew you shouldn't listen to them, they were only behaving that way because they wished they were in your place.

George knew that. You knew that. It was simple

But you couldn't help it, sometimes they did manage to get to you. Making you doubt yourself, thinking you were not good enough to be with someone like George, doubting your relationship. 

George could always tell when this would happen. 

You would go quiet all of a sudden, you would just stare at your phone and not even realize he would be talking to you. 

Seeing you like that broke George's heart every single time. He knew how harsh his fans could be and how eager they were to rip every single person in a driver's life to absolute shreds. He saw it happen to every single driver on the track and he was no stranger to it himself.

Watching the tears stream down your eyes as you read the comments on your or his posts was something he never wanted to see ever again. 

Unfortunately, that was exactly how he found you in your shared apartment once he came back early from his GP in Las Vegas.

You hadn't been able to attend because you had 2 exams that weekend, so you stayed back home but cheered him on nonetheless.

He hadn't told you exactly when he would be flying in, figuring the least he could do was surprise you by coming home earlier than expected.

What took him by surprise, though, were the sobs coming from your bedroom, quiet yet unnerving to his ears.

"Love?" he called out as he made his way towards the bedroom door, knocking on it softly before opening it.

There you were, sitting in the middle of the huge bed in one of the hoodies he had left behind, tears running down your cheeks and mascara smeared all over your face.

You sniffled once your eyes met his, not even bothering to try and hide yourself from him. You didn't have the energy for that.

"George" your voice came out like a whine as you outstretched your arms towards him like a little child, begging to be held by him.

Not even thinking for another second, he sprinted towards the bed and enveloped you in his strong hold, holding you tightly as you let out a new set of tears at the feeling of his warmth.

His heart broke at the sound of your sobs, urging him to squeeze you tighter and tighter so you could feel all the love he carried for you and only you.

Several minutes were spent like that, him holding you while you let all of your pent-up frustration and pain in his arms. You clung to him like your life depended on it and couldn't help but melt into him, feeling more at home than ever before.

Slowly, but surely, you were starting to calm down, your hysterical sobs now down to sniffles and slight hiccups.

"I'm sorry" you croaked out, your voice sore from all the crying.

"What are you sorry for? You shouldn't be apologizing to me. What happened, love?" he was cradling your face in his hands softly, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs.

You closed your eyes for a moment and let out a soft sigh, enjoying the soothing motion of his hands and the feeling of his skin on yours.

"I was on Instagram and a post from Mercedes popped up about your weekend in Las Vegas so I wanted to leave a comment because I'm proud of your weekend but the moment I entered the comment section it was all flooded with comments dragging me through the mud because I wasn't there with you and shit. I know I sometimes suck because I can't be there for every race and people hate me for that, but I need to finish my degree and I feel so guilty for it sometimes and-"

"Hey, sh sh. There's so need for you to feel guilty about investing in your future, love. This is your life, your education, baby. I'm so insanely proud of you for everything you're doing and don't think for a second that you have to prove your love for me or something even remotely close to that by coming to every race. No matter where you are, I know you're cheering me on and that's all that matters. I want you to focus on your studies and your future before even thinking about focusing on my career. People are jealous, baby, they're jealous because you're with me and they're not. Hating is all they know how to do. Please, don't hurt yourself by listening to some people you don't even know and people who don't get a say in how we live our lives. As long as you and I have everything figured out, that's all that matters. Do you hear me?" he asked, staring deeply into your eyes.

You let his words sink in, slowly but surely convincing yourself to listen to him.

Deep down, you knew everything he was saying was right and honest, but sometimes the pressure got to you and you would just break down.

"I hear you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, I know you're stressed enough as it is" you said, pouting a little.

George shook his head, kissing your forehead quickly.

"Don't apologize to me for that. I'm never too busy or stressed for you. Always come to me when you're feeling like this so we can talk it out. I love you so much and I never want you to doubt yourself or our relationship"

"I love you too" you whispered, leaning in and capturing your lips with his.

You climbed onto his lap, wrapping your limbs around him like a koala bear.

Pulling away only slightly, you buried your face in his neck and wrapped your arms around his torso tightly, never wanting to let go.

Even though these moments would away creep in and make you doubt yourself, George would always be there to make sure he shut them all down.

Why?

Because you deserved to be loved and appreciated and he was determined to be the person to show you just how special you were to the people around you.

Especially to him.

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[brookiewriting]

Hiii I was wondering if you could do one of Peeta losing it after you get attacked by one of the tributes and he almost kills them out of rage, but you try and stop him while also reassuring him that ur ok bc you remember he said he didn’t want to kill anybody?? Thank you!! <33

PANIC—

peeta mellark.

summary: reader befriends a little boy, and peeta overhears you fighting for your life. it goes wrong once he sees you're hurt.

notes: holy fuck i suck at endings. can someone genuinely give me advice or criticism??? LMAO

also i posted this last night but it flopped so let's try again..

warnings: angst, death, slight gore.

"peeta!"

your screams were shrill and made the hairs on the back of his neck raise. the screams were consistent, each cry becoming more and more rampant.

with every call of his name, peeta panicked more.

fuck. i don't know what to do.

he wasn't a fighter. everyone knew that. peeta was a baker. an artist. not a fighter. and definitely not a killer.

even now, when you needed him more than anything, he was hiding. a small cavern in the side of a ledge, barely big enough for him to squeeze into /let alone one of the bigger tributes/ was a perfect hiding spot. he was invisible. he could win in here.

another scream, and peeta was rocking on his heels, unsure of what to do. his hands covered his ears.

i can't do this.

☾ ☾ ☾

you really weren't hoping to run into peeta once you were in the games. god, what were you going to do? you couldn't kill him. no, you wouldn't.

you remember the anxious look he gave you on the first day, his hands clinging onto you as much as he possibly could, like you were going to slip out of his touch and be gone for good.

"peeta. look at me." you recalled, your hands holding his cheeks firmly, before moving your index finger to direct his chin up. panicked blue eyes met yours, his brows were so tightly knit together that it made your heart ache. in the years that he'd been your friend, you'd never seen him look like this.

his eyes were studying your face, gaze switching from your eyes to your tucked away hair to your nose and back.

you rested your forehead against his. "win for me. go back to your little brother's, 'kay?" you pleaded, and you noticed his fingers shaking as he pulled away from you. he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded solemnly.

after that first day, you were quickly separated. you couldn't be in an alliance with him. you couldn't watch him die or have him watch you die. you wouldn't do it. neither of you were overly strong— and you'd hold him back. you'd be okay with dying only if he was the victor.

peeta was safe after he joined an alliance with the careers. at least for right now. he was smart, but physically? he was the weakest link. he led cato and his group to where he thought other tributes were hiding, and as much as he tried to stall them, his intuition was usually right.

you were fine with hiding. you helped out a younger boy from district nine, and you two stayed off of everyone's radar. in fact, most tributes might've thought you were dead or dying in a ditch somewhere. for some reason, being in an alliance with this younger boy was less painful than one with peeta. maybe because deep down you knew you were both going to die.

by day ten, the air was cold. the temperature dropped low at night. you were hidden by an assortment of bushes. you two changed spots often to find food and to make sure no one spotted you.

the little boy shivered; his jacked ripped earlier that week, and since then, it seemed his health was decreasing.

you took off your jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders. his head drooped onto your shoulder. poor baby was exhausted. he was too young to be here and too young to fight.

"you'll be okay." you reassured him, and you didn't know if you were assuring him or your own selfish thoughts.

his brown eyes look up at you, and you rub his back. under those lashes, you could see days of lack of sleep. he'd lost all of energy from when you'd first met him. snow ripped him from his childhood and you from reaching it to eighteen.

"i wish i had a big sister like you." he whispers. "if i don't make it, can you tell my mama that it'll be okay?" the district nine boy closes his eyes on your shoulder, and his words truly shatter your heart.

you don't respond— if you did, you might start crying. you couldn't let him see you like that. he keeps talking.

"mama would be a mess if i did. i do all the chores." you frown as you look at him, and you're shocked to see that he's smiling. it's a big toothy grin, and you notice that he's missing a tooth. even in a killing arena, he had the strength to smile. it made you think of peeta.

you squeeze your eyes shut and squeeze his shoulder. "you'll be going home to see her shortly, alright?" you're almost snapping at him, angry that you wouldn't be strong enough to protect him.

"my mama makes the best cookies around. i'll bring you some when we get out of here. how's that sound, hm?" you nudge his elbow, and you swallow hard in order to smile at him. be strong, you kept repeating in your head. for him. he needs you.

he's quiet for a minute. you notice just how young he is. he can't be older than thirteen. nobody's ever won that young.

"you look sad." he whispers, and you can only nod.

"there's not much to be happy about," you pause, you're still smiling at him painfully.

"keep thinking about your mama for me. think about how happy she'll be to see you. think about how amazing that first night backs gonna be."

you tell him a story about your mama and about running through the forest barefoot in district twelve. you tell him stories about her teaching you how to hunt. your heart twinges thinking about her. you'd know she'd be okay without you, though. this boys mother wouldn't.

he doesn't respond, and shortly after, you hear the soft snoring of the boy. maybe you bored him to sleep. your arm doesn't move off of him. your eyes look up at the sky, bright, twinkling stars bouncing off your irises.

"i don't know if i can do this without you, peeta." you're speaking to the sky, as if someone can hear your prayers. despite knowing each other for a short period of time, you grew attached to this kiddo.

when you closed your eyes /which you hadn't meant to/ you dreamt of the boy coming home to his mother. she had carmel skin just like him and the same bright brown eyes with the same matching toothy grin. his mama embraced him in her arms tightly, followed by his dad, sobs errupting from the both of them as they were reunited with their baby boy. you were invisible to them, but you felt their love and their warmth.

the figures shifted into different people. it was now peeta hugging his baby brother's, his tear stricken face buried into their little shoulders. he was grabbing them so fiercely that it made your stomach drop. you called out peeta's name, tears rolling down the side of your face. nausea was creeping up into your stomach.

why did you always have to be strong for people? why couldn't you be the one held?

your voice quieted as you realized it was just a dream, and he couldn't hear you. the scenery fizzled into white.

you felt a pair of hands shaking your shoulders and you woke up in a hot sweat.

"there's someone here," the boy spoke in a hushed whisper, and you noticed that pinpricks of tears were in your eyes. you wiped them quickly so he wouldn't see.

"stay here." you demanded quickly and exited from your shelter of bushes. he was right; you could hear footsteps surrounding you. even in the pitch black night, you could sense that someone was watching you.

unfortunately for you two, it was two careers from district six.

the male was big, twice as big as you, and scored a ten just thanks to his physical strength. the girl was quick on her feet.

your stomach dropped. you weren't going to make it through this. maybe you could help the little boy survive though.

"run!" you screamed to him, and before anyone else could move, he was on his feet with a start and began running, running, running as fast as his little legs could take him. the boy immediately ran after him, and you felt nauseated.

did i just send him to his death?

you thought about chasing after them, but your feet failed you in time, and the girl tackled you.

"i'm sorry," the girl spoke, his knife raised at your chest. she didn't want to do this. none of them did. "i'm sorry."

"no. no, please don't kill him! please! he's just a kid, please! his mama's waiting for him!"

you cried out, feeling sobs bubble to the surface of your chest, thrashing from underneath her weight. you punched him, scratched her, clawed at her sides, anything to make her get off and let you chase after him.

you screwed your eyes so tightly shut that you saw white. maybe he could outrun him. maybe he'd live.

you were going to die. and memories were flooding your mind. you saw peeta.

you saw him waiting for you at the edge of the forest, the way he used to when you two were small. his eyes were squinted, and the sunlight made him look... warm. and that smile, oh, that smile that could've given you the strength to keep fighting if he was here. he was all dimples and creased eyes.

why were you thinking of him right now as you were about to die?

your thoughts were interrupted by a chilling scream of a boy. it must've been enough to startle the career too, because she dropped her knife. it was enough for you to grab it and drive it into her shoulder. blood began to drip onto your white tee.

you didn't want to kill her. but you needed enough time to get away.

"i'm sorry—" you whispered to her, and the girl was withering in pain. she was repeating that she didn't want to die and you immediately felt guilty.

you couldn't stay to help her, though, so you jumped to your feet and headed towards the direction of the scream.

please don't be that little boy. please don't be that little boy. please don't be that little boy.

you were met with a horrific sight. the boy was covered in a pool of his own blood. there were three open stab wounds on his chest. this prick stabbed him three fucking times. his eyes were glossed over, but you could see the gentle rise and fall of his little heart still beating.

"mama?" he asked, his hands reaching for you, his voice shaking. his eyes were glossy, and he couldn't barely keep them open. he was still cuddled around your jacket.

you didn't have the heart to tell him no.

"it's okay baby, i got you." you cooed, trying not to cry. your hands applied pressure on the open sites, but it wasn't enough. blood was already staining your palms. you gave up and helped sit him up against a tree.

with the last bit of his strength, he put his hand into yours, the size difference crushing you even more. he was so little.

"i don't want to die," he's crying; you don't know what to do anymore other than hold his small figure, rocking him back and forth. your face is buried in his hair, and he still smells like fresh bread.

"i know it hurts. i know. you're not dying on me," yet you know it's too late. his body is limp in your arms, but you can't bear to let him go. if you let go, then it'll be real.

your chest is heavy, and it's hard to breathe. sobs are making your throat swell. tears seep into his hair, and you're still rocking him back and forth.

why didn't he kill you instead?

the larger male must've heard your pained screams, and he drug you off the dead boy. you cried as he pulled your arms off from around him.

"you can join 'em." the boy grunted, using the blade of his hunting knife to cut a thin line down one of your sides. not enough to draw more than a few dots of blood, but enough to make you exhale sharply.

with the last of your strength, you screamed one last time for peeta.

☾ ☾ ☾

peeta wouldn't let you die knowing he didn't do anything to help you. the whole reason why he was okay with being here was so he could die protecting you. just to pussy out at the last second?

how fucking lame was that. you were fighting, possibly dying and he was hiding. he was going to let his best friend die because he was scared.

how pathetic.

self-deprecating was enough to encourage him to move. it was well into the night now, and if he wasn't so used to running through forest clearings, he absolutely would have tripped.

following the sharp screams from you, he ran as fast as he could despite having a bum leg from cato. all because he wouldn't reveal where he thought you were hiding and what your strengths were.

please hold on a little long for me.

when he reached you, a brunette boy had his arms wrapped around your chest, and a knife was directed at your knife. as he watched you from behind a tree, his stomach dropped.

he was taunting you.

"your little boyfriend won't help you now," he mocked, pressing the blade further into your skin, enough to make blood be drawn. peeta watched you wince. "i already killed your friend."

when the boy had his back turned, peeta ran out to him and shoved him hard. hard enough that his head hit a rock with a sharp crack. that wasn't enough for him.

"how dare you put your fucking hands on her," peeta snapped, picking the boy up and grabbing him the front of his shirt.

god, you were glad to see peeta again but you'd never seen him this angry before. it scared you. you were frozen in place.

crack.

peeta threw his head back against the bark of the tree. blood was spotting and creating a mess of his mousey hair.

"peeta..." you whispered, approaching him slowly, your hands outstretched to him. he wouldn't kill him... right?

crack.

the boy was unconscious now, his eyes rolling to the back of his head so only his whites were visible.

"peeta." you repeated more firmly this time. you were suddenly aware of how heavy your tongue felt in your mouth. your eyes were glued to the sight of his head being bashed in.

crack.

"peeta! you're going to kill him!" you screamed, your hands tugging at his arms to get him to stop.

he did, and thank god. peeta let go, and the boy's body slumped to the ground.

peeta looked at you, to the body, and back to you. his gaze softened incredibly, before looking down at his blood stained hands.

"i didn't mean to— i didn't want to kill him. oh god, i'm so sorry—" his voice broke mid sentence and he pulled you into a tight hug. he was holding you to make up for all the time you two spent apart.

"i'm okay. he barely hurt me. it's okay peeta." you breathed into his neck, feeling as his hands held tight to the back of your head. you could feel his body shake and quiver as he cried into your hair.

you stayed like that for a very long time. you let your body relax into his.

for the first time since the games started, you felt safe.

☾ ☾ ☾

by the next morning, the sun was raised above them and rising in a beautiful ombre of orange's and pinks. you hadn't seen anything as beautiful since you'd gotten here. you thought that was the little boys way of saying that he was with you still.

that night, you'd buried the two boys as best as you two could. you left your jacket with the boy from district nine. you couldn't wear it anymore.

peeta's hand was in yours as you two looked at the graves. you'd never seen a grave that small before.

"he was a sweet boy."

"i figured. he had to have been to be with you."

you weakly smile at peeta's comment, but it falls rather quickly.

"it's not your fault. you know that, right?" he speaks so gently with you, like you'll break if he says the wrong thing. you might.

he pulls you into another hug, his chapped lips pressing kisses into anywhere he can reach. your cheek presses against his chest and he's warm. you listen to the sound of his heartbeat. it's oddly reassuring.

"it's not yours either." you quip, looking up at him. "thank you for saving my life."

"i really wish i could've saved his too. both of them."

"i know. maybe it's for the better. he'll never have to live like us anymore. he'll be free from snow."

maybe. maybe you should've told him to keep hiding. maybe then he would be alive to see you kill coriolanus snow.

you move out of the hug, but peeta is still holding your hand. he's silent, and you can tell he's thinking hard about something— his cheek is hollowed and he's biting on it.

"only one of us will be able to win." peeta mentions, and you smile. he's confused: at a time like this? he doesn't mention it.

"may the best hider win."

you smile, but you know that you'd die for him. you'd be okay with dying if it meant seeing peeta return unharmed with his family. you just prayed that death would only show you your happy memories.

#the hunger games #peeta mellark #finnick odair #peeta x reader #angst

[jwonsoon]

enhypen as taylor swift songs ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

☾ a/n: i've been listening to a lot of taylor swift recently and maybe i'm crazy but every song somehow reminds me of enhypen. i've been thinking about them non stop so i made a part two of the post ☼ made since you guys liked that one. this might be kinda all over the place but i hope you enjoy !

JUNGWON

cardigan "When I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite"

comfort. he's my perpetual comfort. on days when i feel like i'm doing nothing right, on days when i feel hopeless, he's always there to spark that 1% within me that wants to keep trying. his continuous effort to communicate with engenes despite his busy schedule shows me that the care he holds for us is something so genuine. he reassures me and gives me reasons to love myself. he will see you crying, sit down next to you and patiently wait and listen. comforting you by holding your hand and wiping your tears. he's always there to make your life feel worth living again. jungwon will never leave you hanging or feeling like you aren't enough; you're always enough for him. a/n my jungwonie i love you

JAKE

safe & sound "You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now"

jake to me embodies emotional protection. he's the type to hold you gently while you cry into his arms, rubbing your back telling you it's going to be okay. no matter what happens he's right there by your side the whole time. the reason i picked this song is because i can imagine jake staying up all night with you when you're overwhelmingly anxious. even if his head keeps jerking back and forth because of how tired he is, he'll make sure you fall asleep first so that he can sleep knowing you're alright.

JAY

right where you left me "You left me no choice but to stay here forever"

angsty, i know. there's two reasons why i think this song perfectly captures him. one being, his loyalty. no matter what happens he'll stay by your side. there are time when it's hard to keep going and there's a back and forth struggle but jay will be consistent and check in on you. he will sit by you and wait for you to feel better, his patience has no end when it comes to those he cares about and it's his most charming quality among many others. i also just think he's so "first love" coded. you are never getting over jay! no matter how hard you try! - but don't worry because he's waiting for you to come back too...

NIKI

paper rings "I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings"

thats bestie!!! riki symbolizes happy young love for me. best friends to lovers type. his teasing flirty manner would always make you giggle. knowing how artsy he is he would definitely make you some goofy paper ring and "propose" to you, leaving you a flustered mess. i just think this song is so upbeat and pretty and incapsulates niki's playfulness perfectly. a/n i love him so much i'm going to rip my walls out.

HEESEUNG

gorgeous "You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face"

i mean... do i even have to explain? heeseung's charm is irresistible. no matter how much his constant teasing would annoy you, when you look up and see his face all of it melts away. he's so hallway crush coded, he would make you feel all giddy inside simply because of a passing head nod or just a slight smile. don't even get me started on his perfect laugh and smile! i can write a 4000 word essay on it. anywho, it's self explanatory. heeseung = gorgeous!

SUNOO

invisible string And isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some, Invisible string, Tying you to me?

sunoo is destiny. i remember watching iland and from the very beginning my eyes were hooked onto him. and now, here i am, three years later writing this. his comforting smile and how he gives so much love to those around him helps me recognize how genuinely kind of a person he is. he's someone you want to keep close. no matter what happens sunoo will always find a way to provide you with solace and light on the darker days. he's pretty, the concept of soulmates is pretty, he is such a person destined to be loved and cared for deeply. no one ever hurt him please.

SUNGHOON

the way i loved you "So in love that you act insane and that's the way I loved you"

now, let me preface this by saying, i don't think sunghoon is toxic... this is just to feed my angst loving delusions. sunghoon is the one the got away. he's the one who you cared for so deeply but it was right person wrong time. despite how much he pushed to keep your relationship intact it was hard for him. he didn't want to fight you, he wanted to fight for you. sunghoon is the type to not let you leave until you figure it out with him. he'll sit with you even if you yell at him and just listen to you. he's cares about you so deeply that you can't help but constantly think about him even when he isn't there. - because he is also constantly thinking about you.

#enhypen #kpop #heeseung #jungwon #kpop icons #kpop layouts #sunghoon #jake sim #enhypen jay #sunoo #spotify #enhypen niki #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #kpop edits #kpop gg #kpop moodboard #kpopidol #bias #kpop bg #kpop boys #kpop girls #enha #lee heeseung #enhypenjake #kpop imagines #fanfic #headcanons #Spotify

[rhoorl]

Week in Review | September 24

What a week! Luckily everyone around my neck of the woods is healthier and doing well. Hope you are staying healthy too. Thank you to everyone who reached out to check on me this week, Frankie hugs and forehead kisses to you all.

If you are new or haven’t seen my Week in Review posts before, I basically ramble about a bunch of different things. Fic recs are up first followed by some more feral thots (seriously what was in the water this week?! I blame it on the possibility of TF2.). Then I finish off by treating this post like my diary entry for the week and share some things I’ve been up to/looking forward to.

Here we gooo!

Fics I read this week:

Before I get started with my fic recs, I wanted to shout out this list that @frenchiereading put together of authors whose first language is not English. Kudos to all of these talented writers!

Frankie Morales

Third Time's a Charm (AO3 link) by jwritesfanfics - Frankie and reader have been together and broken up twice, will the third time be the charm? This story wrapped up but I finally caught up on the ending and it was everything I wanted.

The Pilot and His Girl by @avastrasposts - I don't want to spoil what happens in the latest chapter but ahhhh this series is just so so good and will be a fixture on this list until it's done.

Frankie’s Way by @morallyinept - This just had so many of my favorite Frankie elements in it - dad Frankie, hot Frankie, and some smut. Also, this would be a great set up to Triple Frontier 2 if (and hopefully when) that happens.

Your Plans & Those Slow Hands by @wildemaven - This was an ode to Frankie’s…well...hands, and what they can do. I’ll leave it at that and let you read it for yourself.

@trulybetty I still haven’t recovered from this …

Joel Miller

Pump by @hyzer34 - In this AU, Joel is a personal trainer and the reader is his latest client. All I’ll say is that if Joel was my personal trainer, I would be a lot more consistent with my gym routine. 

Burlesque by @cavillscurls - I caught the first part of this a while ago when I wasn’t as organized, so I was so excited when I stumbled upon part two. Young Joel ™️ met a showgirl in part one and they had a very steamy encounter and in part two he sees her out unexpectedly at a bar. I love Joel in all eras, but Young Joel ™️ really hits the spot for me these days.

@trulybetty answered an ask and we were treated to some Joel fluff.

Javier Peña

It's Never Too Late by @javierpena-inatacvest - I finally caught up and loved the most recent chapter. All I'll say is Javi dressed up as Hans Solo for Halloween was a visual I'll keep in my head for a while. 🥵 Besides that 😆 seeing Javi find happiness and love makes me so happy!

Marcus Pike

Cake by @trulybetty - The Pike Puddle is going to need to be renamed soon because there’s a lot of us and it’s getting deep! I have a real soft spot for Marcus, and this was a great combination of fluff with a little hint of spice. 

Agent Ortega

For the Night by @ladamedusoif - So I about lost my damn mind (in a good way) when I watched Pedro in The Sixth Gun and I was so excited to see some fics pop up in record time. I’m already a fan of this writer and their Mr. Ben fic Visiting (go check that one out!), so I was excited to see this story pop up. Agent Ortega was so hot, obviously, and so sweet and I loved that he was paired with a reader who was a little older. 

Dieter Bravo 

Destiny & Deliverance by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings This story just continues to get better and better even though it’s ripping out my heart in the process. What I love most, besides trying to guess the twists and turns, is the realistic portrayal of how complicated love can be, especially when you’re learning about someone and their history, while also processing your own past traumas (holy run on sentence but this is my stream of consciousness). I want to give Dieter and Talia both the biggest hugs. I also love the companion series Deconstructing Dieter Bravo that popped up which goes a little deeper into the events of the story (note, it has spoilers about the series).

Posts from this week:

Need a laugh while also getting some self-care? @morallyinept had special guest Frankie talk you through some great reminders for taking care of yourself (no pun intended).

Feral corner:

Ok, y’all. The feral corner is going to need to be renamed at the rate we’re going because this week … whew! The feral-ness was on another level. My notification were a hot ass mess so I’m sure I’ve missed some posts but there was just some absolute gold on the feed this week! The prospect of a Triple Frontier sequel is really what made us all absolutely bonkers.

I am proud to have instigated some fun. This is what happens when I pop into an inbox with an ask. I will listen to any TEDTalk @legendary-pink-dot will grace us with, especially related to Frankie. Here’s another fun thread. To those in the Catfish Pond PhD Degree program I see you. Although the school year has started, I’m sure our professor will still allow for late adds to the program!

We also got some lightened up GIFs (courtesey of @grogusmum) of that scene for Narcos. If you haven’t seen these yet, get yourself a cold drink and enjoy. 

The combination of gif and words by @intheorangebedroom … phew.

I also appreciated this ask I received from @goodwithcheese - any excuse to talk about the Triple Frontier boys is welcomed! I expanded further in this post (my Pinterest is now overrun with photos of men in gray sweatpants...)

Things I watched:

My husband and I did Baby Movie Swap yesterday (one of us goes to see a movie while the other watches our daughter and then we switch). He saw A Haunting in Venice which he liked, so I definitely am going to see that at some point. I went with my favorite coworker (the one who gave me the Pedro office calendar) to see the Expend4bles. We both have a thing for Jason Statham…long story and lots of inside jokes, but if you haven’t seen Spy you need to, he’s hilarious in it. Was Expend4bles a good movie? No. No it wasn’t. Did we have fun? Absolutely.

Also, I got a little surprise before the previews started and saw Pedro profiled as part of a Hispanic Heritage Month campaign AMC Theaters is doing. My husband went and saw his movie first and when the little profile came up he snapped a few photos and sent them to me lol

Things I'm excited for:

We’re doing some family fun this morning followed by a little date night tonight when my husband and I go back to Halloween Horror Nights so I can shoot my shot at Joel Miller see the TLOU house along with some others. We’re also planning on going next Sunday too (trying to get my money’s worth on the pass I bought).

Also this week, my parents are coming to town for my daughter’s birthday. I can’t believe I’m going to have a two-year-old soon. Wow. 

Fic updates:

I had very ambitious plans for the last week but managed to put out Chapter 11 and 12 of Working Title along with a Frankie one-shot, Turbulence. Thank you to everyone who left such amazing feedback. I truly from the bottom of my heart mean it when I say it makes my day to read all of the comments and reblogs 💕 The little community I have found on here means so much to me!

I was having some trouble with the landscapers this week, but don’t fret, Chapter 6 of Delta Landscaping is done and I'm editing it so it should be up early this week.

Thanks as always for reading my ramblings, I hope you have an awesome week!

#rhoorl week in review #rhoorl movie review #rhoorl fic rec #pedro pascal fic

[erosuguru]

Hi, I really love you're writings, it's so good!! Can I request a fem chubby reader with Shidou? Like the reader is being insecure about herself and Shidou fucking her in front of the mirror and telling her that he loves every inch of her body. Thank you so much btw! ❤️

hi omg tysm!! I kinda went crazy on this but i hope i did well dskjjjfbsjh :’)) shidou is so yummy idk how to explain it, I had to look up gross pickup lines for this lmao

Mirror, Mirror

Ryusei Shidou x reader, reader is female and chubby, all characters are 18+, Shidou and reader are in established relationship, Shidou being whipped for reader, approx 2.2k words

CW: NSFW, Shidou being gross, dirty talk, lots of groping, mirror sex, nutting inside, Shidou calls reader lame but cute pet names (pookie, sugar, sweetheart, baby) little proof reading

notes: this is the first request ive gotten and i kinda took a while on it kdshfkj kinda mad at myself cuz i had the chance to post it on his birthday but nOOO ugh either way enjoy !!

Shidou couldn’t care less about beauty standards, he thought the general image of beauty the people around him established was boring, he indulges in Gyaruo fashion, knowing his style wasn’t common he didn’t care about people’s staring; he knew he looked good either way (plus he has zero hesitation to fight so he welcomes any comment, the repercussions are not his fault though <3)

Whenever Shidou is around you, he has to blurt out an overly sexual or praising comment about your appearance.

The comments have a wide range, a simple “Lookin’ good, Sugar!” or a cheesy “Call me a pirate ‘cause just found some booty!”, and the worst of them, the explicit ones he whispers to you whenever your shared friends are around like “the condom In my pocket expires tomorrow, be a doll and help me use it?”

even if his words were crude it was nice to know someone found your body appealing and you never took it to heart given he was this sexual with his words with everyone. Shidou notices how much you prefer to wear clothes that hid your figure and it invokes some kind of internal struggle in him. on one hand, it made him want to rip those rags off you and dress you in something more scandalous. On the other, he told himself that you were hiding that pretty body because you don’t want anyone other than him to look at you

Shidou’s confidence boosts helped you see yourself in a better light but you still insisted on bigger sweaters and hoodies, it infuriated him, even after establishing a relationship with him your wardrobe didn’t change. That didn’t stop him from being handsy with you, always having a hand on you anywhere you two went.

If you were sharing a meal in a restaurant he had his hand on your thigh lightly stroking, if you were with friends he always had an arm around your waist as he chatted away about god knows what. His favorite by far is when you wear jeans, he could easily rest his hand in your butt pocket and watch you grow flustered, it was adorable how you acted so shy even though his hands were already pretty familiar with your body.

You had been staying in recently because of some doubtful thoughts that even Shidou’s comments couldn’t chase away, you spent your day trying to be productive by cleaning around your place then getting some work done on your computer before your loud boyfriend barged in with a package of cupcakes from the bakery you enjoyed.

You didn’t know which was worse, the fact that you wanted to stay away from the sweet delicacies or that your boyfriend caught you in your stay-at-home clothes consisting of shorts and a tank top.

Even as you tried shutting the door and telling him you’re busy, he insisted on coming in, although he kept saying he came by because he was worried- his excited expression said it all that this was the first time you wore something that showed so much skin around him.

Shidou stood in your living room and listened to you explain your recent absence as he was examining your physique, he was listening but his mind was going elsewhere as he drank in more and more of his view of you pacing around your living room busying your hands so your mind won’t be occupied by the worry of what is he thinking while looking at you so intently.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as silence filled the room, oh shit- it was his turn to talk.

“… aw I’m sorry baby, I wish I knew! Come here!” He pulled you into a hug, it took you a moment to get over the closeness in such a bare outfit before returning the gesture, he cooed words of encouragement to you.

“Everybody gets those thoughts Pookie!, even your dashingly handsome boyfriend gets those thoughts, but remember…” he slid his hands down below your waist, both his hands settling on your ass and squeezing at the clothed flesh immediately you gasped and let out a surprised noise startled at the sudden action.

“No matter what your worried head tells you, you’ll always be the sexiest bitch around~” he ended the sentence with a devilish chuckle as he watched you grow embarrassed from his groping, you set a hand on his forearms in an attempt to get him to slow down as he watched how well his hands cupped your ass cheeks over your shoulder, he could see it spilling in the gaps between his fingers.

“Shidou! Don’t do that!” You got over your initial shock and he pouted at you, sticking out his bottom lip as if he just got scolded. “How can I resist?! showin’ off this pretty ass while you’re alone at home? I should come over all the time!”

He kept one hand on your ass as the other ventured under your tank top, feeling your soft flesh and kneading it as he watched you fumble and stutter “Shidou..! Not there- hey! Watch it..!” He had a smile on that practically tore through his cheeks.

“Why don’t we take this to your room, hmm? I know a great body positivity exercise~”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

How did Shidou always manage to coax you into saying yes? You had no idea, you had no idea how you agreed to let him lay you down on your stomach as he hurriedly tugged your shorts off you, burying his face into your neck as he kissed and licked whispering sweet words to you. He spent his time groping and feeling you under your clothes as you tried your best to return his affections, but he didn’t mind, if it was up to Shidou he would gladly shower you with love, praise, and something else that would be too vulgar to add.

“You’re so pretty like this, baby~” he muttered to you as he removed your shorts fully, sitting up so you could feel his growing erection against your ass, he noticed just how well you two were positioned where your full-length mirror could reflect the view perfectly to him, a wicked grin plastered his features.

“Can you look up for me, sugar?” at his command, you followed and your eyes connected with the image of you on all fours with your shorts hanging from your excited boyfriend’s hand, he let out a sinister giggle at your expression as embarrassment filled you.

“Shidou- can we move? Please? I look stupid- AH?!” You were cut off as you felt his hand sharply smack your ass after he threw aside your shorts, he rubbed the sore spot and shushed you as you looked at his reflection in disbelief.

“… SHIDOU?!”

“I’m sorry sugar! I can’t let you badmouth my pretty girl like that!”

Removing his hands from you, he shuffled as he freed his hard cock from his tight pants, hissing as it practically bounced out his clothes “I’m gonna fuck you like this, ‘kay? so you’ll know just how fuckin’ gorgeous you are..” He promised referring to how he’ll use you in front of your mirror, His hands gripped the flesh of your hips as he pulled you back to him. Slowly maneuvering his hips in short movements, he felt his dick run up and down your slit, he bit down on his bottom lip as he felt your slick cover his length with each stroke.

You wanted to deny this, you felt awkward as your eyes darted back and forth between your reflection and his, you can’t deny Shidou’s affection when he spent so much prepping you for a good dicking down and your rationality was slipping away with each delicious rub of his cock nestling between your thighs waiting for you to give him permission.

“… okay, fine..! But-“

“Yeah yeah, red for no, yellow for so-so, green for ‘fuck me harder Ryusei’~” He giggled at his wording as his free hand moved down and adjusted his cock to slip in quickly

As you were about to complain about his vulgarity once more, he gripped your hips and pulled your ass to him, as he thrusted his hips to meet you in the middle, biting down his bottom lip and releasing a long groan that layered with your gasp that melted into a moan. His cock squeezed in perfectly like you were a pussy pocket molded perfectly just for him, he watched your expression in the mirror as he made sure he was balls deep inside you, relishing in how your pussy hugged his cock so perfectly practically brainwashing him.

As Shidou slowly moved his hips at first to get used to the warmth (as much as you felt incredible, he didn’t wanna act like some virgin and bust so early), he noticed how you lowered your head and that set him off; his hand reached out and grabbed a fistful of your hair and lifted you so you’d sit on your knees with your back arched, a startled noise escaped your lips.

“That won’t do baby! Come on, look! Take a good look!” He urged you between pants as he gradually sped up, hips slapping against yours as your wetness grew, your struggled to get a good look through your boyfriend’s fucking, your reflection showed your figure but this time you couldn’t turn away, Shidou had a way of fucking you so thoroughly- of slutting you out so beautifully, it was shameful to say but it was the only way to describe it.

“Ahh- ah! Shidou- I can’t- its too embarrassing!” You finally managed to speak out through the pleasure, Shidou gave you a particularly hard thrust at your words forcing a surprised moan out of you “first, Call me by my first name.. second, I told you to look”

He slowed down his thrusts as his hand guided your head by your chin to the mirror, giving you a clear view of yourself, his hand had pulled your shirt up to reveal your chest to him, one hand holding your hip as the other squeezed and groped at your breast.

“See?” Shidou started as he made eye contact with you in the mirror “You’re such a pretty goddess~” he practically purred as he admired how your body bounced and jiggled with every impact of his hips, not faltering as he pistoned his cock into you making sure you had a good view of it all; one hand squeezed at your chest enjoying how your breast spilled between his fingers, the other gripping at your love handles as leverage to smack your hips down to his making sure his cock was reaching all the right places, a perfect view of your loving boyfriend making sure every curve, dip and crevice of your body is appreciated.

“Fuck- mmmh! So good baby, you look so good on my dick like this..” He whispered sweetly to you, your thighs trembled as his praise went straight to your core “I’m so fuckin’ lucky, you’re a beauty..” his words weren’t empty compliments, he studied your body so closely as he fucked his cock deep into you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. Ryusei Shidou genuinely and wholeheartedly thinks you're the most gorgeous woman to ever exist.

“you like it when I make you bounce on my dick? Yeah? You’re so fuckin’ cute, I love you~” he cooed at you turning your head to give you a sloppy kiss, tongue slipping into your mouth with ease as he swallowed your moans, separating in between kisses inducing a wet noise everytime you did.

“Ryusei..! Ah- ahn- Ryuseiii! I-I’m close..! shit, I’m so close..!” You spoke through your blabbers and moans, Shidou’s cock practically throbbed in excitement as you called him by his first name.

Shortly after you came, body shaking as soreness settled into your knees, Shidou allowed you to lower your head as a mercy since the sensitivity was getting to you, the way your pussy sucked him in, especially after tightening from your orgasm he couldn’t hold himself back.

“G’nna cum, ‘m gonna cum sweetheart, you’re gonna be good for me and take it all right? Yeah, take it, take it..!” he urged you as he neared his end, his thrusts shortening and picking up speed as he finally filled you, he stilled and made sure to shove his entire length deep inside as his cum practically overflowed and dripped out of you, down his cock and dripping on your bed sheets.

You were exhausted and fucked out, you wanted to move into a more comfortable position but Shidou practically flopped onto you, refusing to pull out just yet.

“Ryusei- get off..” You tried sitting up and he only groaned, throwing more of his weight on you as he maneuvered your body under him to lay more comfortably.

“naaah~ stay with me here a little bit! Afterglow helps lots with body positivity y’know?” you were confident most of his information about ‘body positivity’ was wrong.. but it was the thought that counts you suppose.

“(Name)? you know I meant all that stuff, right?” he asked while fixing your hair away from your face, you know he's serious as he called out to you curiously, among all the filth he speaks shamelessly he was still earnest in his affections.

“… I do, thank you Ryusei” Hearing you say his name so sweetly made his heart throb in his chest as he cuddled you, kissing the back of your neck he uttered “I love you, gorgeous~”

#bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #bllk x female reader #blue lock x female reader #blue lock #shidou ryuusei smut #shidou ryuusei x reader #shidou ryusei x reader #shidou ryusei x you #shidou x reader #shidou x you #shidou ryusei #too tired to tag more im eepy asf

[ibrithir-was-here]

So the basic idea that came to me late at night for Baby Dream was more of less this weird little mash up of Matilda/A Little Princess and Definitely Platonic Dream and Hob : 

Baby Morpheus who's like, 6, is from a family with innate magical gifts, that are related to their canon ones but nowhere and near as strong

And one day  gets kidnapped by Roderick Burgess, who was trying to get his older sister Teleute but his henchmen grabbed the wrong one

So now Morpheus is being held in the basement (not in a glass case just in a locked room with some magical protection around it that keeps him from leaving)  while Burgess tries to figure out what powers he has and how they can be exploited

Morpheus in this stays silent out of terror/trauma more than any stubbornness, and he himself doesn't fully understand his powers so he doesn't know how to answer Burgess's questions anyway

His only source of comfort is his raven plushie Jessamy, who he held onto when he got grabbed

So of course one day Burgess rips it in two in an attempt to intimidate Morpheus into speaking

That night Morpheus in despair crafts himself a dream that when he closes his eye he'll wake up somewhere safe, where he'll be cared for and loved and never made to feel afraid (his home of course wasn't too great either, Night and Time are still terrible even as mostly human parents)

And so he goes to sleep, and dreams that he wakes up in a cozy bed in a room made just for him

And the kindest man he's ever seen is in the kitchen making pancakes

Hob Gadling would normally be surprised to see a tousle haired tot shuffling into his kitchen but this is clearly a dream so he's not that weirded out, and while he doesn't understand why this sad but sweet little Dream child is here--he doesn't look anything like the son he lost-- but he's still happy to play caretaker again for this one night

So he makes pancakes and plays games and reads stories and slowly draw the little Dream boy out of his shell until at last Hob tucks him into the little bed in the room that exists only in this dream--and the Dream child finally smiles up at him, and it's the sweetest thing Hob's seen in a long while

Hob wakes up wondering what on earth could have prompted such a dream, but happy overall he had a nice one where he got to take care of a child, instead of the nightmares he usually has about the loss of Robyn

And then it happens again, and again. Each night for a few months Hob dreams he's taking care of a tiny boy with the messiest hair and bluest eyes he's ever seen. And though he never says anything each night the Dream child becomes a little less fearful, a little more happy and open, and Hob finds his heart opening more and more to this little stranger who's come into his dreams

Morpheus meanwhile is still trapped, still subject to Burgess's abuse, but at least now each night he has an escape with the kind man in his dreams. Each night he "wakes up" in his room in Hob's dream version of his flat excited for the time they'll spend together and he's always desperate to stay in the dream as long as he can, dreading waking up for real to the dark reality around him, knowing that at this point the people who know he's missing have long stopped looking for him 

Hob however has started looking. He's sure this recurring dream must have some sort of meaning, he's never dreamed like this before, so consistently, so clearly. So he starts looking for clues online, if anyone else has had similar experiences. Finally he even has someone draw the child from his dreams, making corrections until it's as close as he can get it

And the picture once posted leads him to discover the disappearance of six year old Morpheus Endless

The moment Hob sees the child's photo he knows it's his child, the Dream child. And he knows he has to figure out how to help him. He doesnt know if Morpheus is dead--he hopes to anything he's not--but he's determined to find him and save him from whatever it is that puts the sadness back in his blue eyes each night 

Que Hob trying to wheedle things out of baby Morpheus each night about his location, as much as he can with Morpheus being six and  locked away and still not speaking

And Morpheus not being sure whats happening, his dreams are supposed to be his safe place where he doesn't have to think about the bad place he's in

And Burgess finally starting to reach the end of his rope with this stubborn silent child who's been more trouble then he's worth

 But of course Hob finally manages to discover where his Dream child is, and bursts in good old fashioned Fishbowl Rescue style and breaks down the door to Morpheus's prison

There's this long moment where they both just  stare at eachother, each not quite aure they're not still dreaming--and then Hob scoops Morpheus up in his arms, whispering that "it's ok now little Dream, you're safe"

And for the first time in months Morpheus actually believes it 

Hob takes him back to his flat that night. Morpheus's room doesn't exist in the waking world but he makes him a bed on the couch and tucks him in tight and safe, and that night Morpheus for the first time in months doesnt need to craft a dream to help him sleep 

(And once they've called the police and Morpheus gets returned home and Hob sees what a wreck it is there he gets him out legally (probably all the other Endless kids too) and gives Morpheus (and the others) a real home) 

#my writing #dream of the endless #hob gadling #not really dreamling #i hope this doesn't come across in any weird way its definitely meant to be a child parent relationship #i just see Hob being important to Dream in whatever way #in whatever au #at least the ones I make x) #sandman #morpheus #human au #modern au #roderick burgess #platonic relationships #parent child relationship #baby Dream AU

[hannah-h-pleb]

Some general headcanons about Eric Cartman because he’s my favourite little shit disturber

This is my first post and first time writing stuff like this so be nice 🙏 I am tagging @h-harleybaby because she asked me to when I finally decided to post. Please check her page out, she’s awesome 💕

Also note that Eric is 18+ here, so yea, let’s get it!

Creds to the artist who drew this picture below. I don’t know who drew it though :((

Eric Cartman: Basic Headcanons

Now, I totally get why some people say he would be gross af, but I mean, this boy has suuuuch a massive ego that he would WANT to look and smell his best. Because he’s the best looking and he wants everyone to know, right?

Dude probably has a whole skincare routine. Washes his face regularly, uses moisturizer, facial scrubs, hell he even uses face masks. What a diva 🙄

He literally has perfect skin despite his eating habits and it pisses Kyle off beyond belief.

He’s usually clean shaven. As he gets older he grows out his facial hair somewhat but it doesn’t get very long, just some stubble. Anything longer than that annoys him. He would hate getting food or crumbs in a beard so usually, he stays clean shaven

Showers every other day, or everyday if he can. His hair is usually very fluffy and soft to the touch

Probably smells like cheap cologne and Mountain Dew. That man drinks Mountain Dew like it’s water soooo

He’s not overly tall, he’s about 5’6 or 5’7, maybe 5’8 at the most. Despite being one of the shortest guys, he would rip on someone who’s even an INCH shorter than he is

Still wears his usual red jacket with a t-shirt underneath, but likes to switch it up more as he gets older. You may catch him in hoodies more often because they’re comfy. Wears jeans more often too

Even though he was overweight as a child, he grows into his weight more as he gets older. He’s still not skinny by no means though. He’s got quite the belly on him but he’s not dangerously overweight. He’s chunky. If he’s a wrestler or a boxer, he’s got more muscle in his arms for sure. All in all, still a thicc boy

His relationship with his mom is neither here nor there but it has improved. He still likes to push his limits but he does respect her more. Super protective of her as well, and won’t hesitate to punch you in the mouth if you say anything bad about her. It’s giving momma’s boy fr

Now the big question is: Does his personality change much? The answer is yes AND no

He has calmed down somewhat in terms of his “scheming”, but not a whole lot. Most of his “schemes” consist of trolling tf out of people and finding ways to get a reaction out of people for his own amusement. He still likes to use blackmail against people though, and wants to feel like he has power over people, so what better way to get the upper hand than to piss people off and watch them fall apart and get angry? Or to hold their deepest, darkest secrets over their head? Knowing he can get any kind of reaction out of someone makes him feel superior. Despite calming down A LITTLE BIT, mans is still chaotic af. He loves getting under peoples skin anyway he can, whether it be by saying something completely out of pocket, or by using blackmail

At the end of the day, he’s still Eric Cartman, he’s not the nicest person

Still holds some of the same bigoted views as seen in the show. However, he may warm up to someone of a different race if he likes their company enough. It may not happen right away, but eventually, he’ll come around and try to learn

Honestly, he’s mostly just a general, bitter asshole with anger issues. It’s so funny to him when he makes someone else angry, but if HE gets angry he’ll make it everyone’s problem

Which btw. Drama. Queen. If someone even lightly shoved him, he’ll throw himself on the floor and exaggerate how hard he was pushed. Also gossips a lot, whether it be about his own friends or some rando he doesn’t even know. Attention whore for real 🙄

So there ya go. That’s what I think Eric would be like as he gets older. Still the same chaotic, obnoxious, foul-mouthed asshole we know him to be, but not into killing people on the regular anymore. I might make a part 2 or something because I could go on forever about this dude

#eric cartman #eric cartman headcanons #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #south park #lol what am I getting myself into

[fics-by-em]

Amorous Facades

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

----------

Note: This is my first foray into Ted Lasso fanfiction so please be kind!

The story starts between episodes five and six of season two and while I will stick as close to the story as possible, things may be changed slightly or added as necessary!

I have a big chunk of the story planned out, but this is the only chapter I have written so far. I couldn't resist posting it to see what people think and gauge the response so please let me know what you think and hopefully there will be more chapters ready soon! :)

----------

Ophelia ‘Lia’ Adams was not a party animal.

She didn’t mind the occasional drink and had even been known to get drunk every once in a while, but going out to clubs every weekend and staying out all night was not her idea of a good time.

However, Lia was a good friend with a tendency to be a little too self-sacrificing and that was how she’d been roped into throwing on a dress that was far too short to be decent and sipping on a tequila shot as she got herself ready for a wild night out.

“You’re supposed to drink it all in one go,” her friend, Katie, teased her as she flopped onto her bed. “It’s a shot, not a cocktail.”

“I know, but shots always make me feel sick.”

“Right,” Katie giggled. “I forgot you’re like twenty-four going on sixty.”

Lia huffed, rolling her eyes in the mirror as she straightened her hair and mumbled out a quiet and half-hearted ‘am not’ in protest.

“You are,” Katie insisted. “But I appreciate that you’re actually coming out tonight so I won’t tease you about it too much.”

“Good, because I can still change my mind,” Lia pointed out. “Where are we going anyway?”

“Club 95!”

The grin that slid onto Katie’s face made her excitement clear, but Lia raised an eyebrow.

“And how are we planning to get in there? Isn’t it basically exclusive to celebrities? People like us usually just spend the night queuing up outside places like that praying that we’ll get in.”

“Not tonight,” Katie practically sang with glee. “Daniel has a connection - through his uncle or something - and he got us all on the guest list.”

As soon as the name left her mouth, Lia’s head snapped around so fast she almost ripped the hair clamped in her straightener right out of her head.

“Daniel’s going to be there? You never told me that!”

“Of course he is,” Katie rolled her eyes. “He’s Mike’s best friend.”

Mike was Katie’s boyfriend and considering the reason they were even going out was to celebrate his birthday, it did make sense that his best friend would be there, but the thought still made Lia’s skin crawl.

Daniel was sleezy. There was no other way to describe him. He consistently made her uncomfortable with unwanted advances and he was completely undeterred by the fact that she rejected him every single time. Of course, he mostly accosted her when they were alone, but Katie and Mike had seen him in action harassing other women so she really had no idea why Mike insisted on being his friend. Whenever she confronted him about it, Mike would shrug and remind her that he’d known him since they were kids before insisting that he wasn’t really that bad and Lia would huff, roll her eyes and eventually decided to just do her best to avoid any events he might be at in the future. She’d so successfully avoided being in his company that she’d almost forgot he existed and she cursed herself for slipping up.

A sigh fell from her lips as she quickly lifted the tequila shot off of the dresser in front of her and finally downed what was left in the tiny glass. She heard Katie let out a cheer at her sudden enthusiasm, but Lia rolled her eyes as she held out the shot glass for a refill.

“There’s no way I can spend an evening in Daniel’s company if I’m sober.”

“Well, then you better pick up the pace,” Katie informed her as she poured them both another shot. “Because they’re going to be here in about half an hour.”

With a groan, Lia felt even the slightest hint of potential excitement for the evening slipping away. Knowing it was too late to back out, she tossed back the shot as soon as it was poured in the hopes that she could get herself feeling fuzzy enough by the time that Daniel was present to find him at least mildly tolerable.

-

When Mike and Daniel first arrived at the flat that Lia and Katie shared, it almost seemed like Daniel had turned over a new leaf in the months since Lia had seen him. He seemed calmer, less conceited and less misogynistic than she remembered him being and she relaxed slightly as she thought that maybe the night could still be fun after all. However, when they were leaving and she bent over to do up the zip on the heeled boots she was wearing and his hand ‘grazed’ her ass, she realized that his apparent change was too good to be true.

She’d jumped away from him with a squeak of displeasure, but he’d simply smirked and brushed it off as an accident caused by the narrow hallway and the close proximity it created. Lia didn’t buy it and flashed him a glare, but Katie’s pleading eyes had her letting it go in an attempt to keep the peace. She reluctantly laughed it off, but any glimmer of hope for civility between them had disappeared. 

And it only got worse when they got to the club.

As promised, Daniel had led them past the long queue of people desperate for a way through the swanky red ropes at the door and straight inside, but as they settled in a booth in a dark back corner, it became clear that Daniel expected more than just a thank you for his efforts. With Katie and Mike tucked together on the opposite side of the table - distracted by each other - the occasional squeeze of Lia’s knee or stroke of her thigh went mostly unnoticed by them despite her growing discomfort and simmering rage. She kept up the steady pace of her drinking, but the nagging thought that it might be better to keep her wits about her was rising in her mind the more handsy that Daniel got. However, when Katie and Mike announced they were heading to the dancefloor and Daniel took advantage of the moment when Lia stood up to follow them to pull her down into his lap, her fury and disgust had her storming towards the bar to get another drink the moment she could drag herself out of his grip.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to loudly and openly demand that Daniel stop groping her and warn him never to touch another woman without her consent again. But it was Mike’s birthday and she also didn’t want to ruin his night. 

So, the scream stayed in her throat, tightening and constricting her ability to breath until she was worried that she might pass out if she didn’t get something to take the edge off of her frustration soon. The busy club and crowded space in front of the bar did nothing to ease her anxiety as it slowed her pursuit of relief, but her restraint was finally broken when she felt an arm slide around her waist and smelt the waft of a cologne that told her the arm belonged to Daniel.

“Stop!” Her voice was firm and the way she ripped herself away from him left no room for misinterpretation, but the smirk on his face told her that he wasn’t going to pay much attention to the request. “I don’t want you to touch me again!”

“Oh, come on, Lia! Don’t be so dramatic. Let me buy you a drink and we can hang out while Mike and Katie are having a dance.”

He moved closer, but Lia stayed strong and held out her arm to keep some distance between them.

“No, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

He moved closer and Lia felt her throat tightening even more as panic gripped her until Daniel suddenly paused his advances and she felt a different arm drape loosely over her shoulders. She tensed as she turned to see who was touching her now and was surprised to see an unfamiliar face.

“Hiya, babe!” The greeting was overly familiar for a stranger, but the soft smile on his face urged her to play along and had her relaxing into his body. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”

“I didn’t know we were coming here.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie as she hadn’t known where they would be spending their evening, but considering she didn’t know the man who had come to her rescue she wouldn’t have been able to tell him if she had. The entire interaction had stopped Daniel in his tracks, but Lia found the complete shock on his face a little offensive. It looked almost as if the idea of another man being interested in her was incomprehensible for him, but the man holding her spoke up again before he could voice his disbelief.

“Is this guy bothering you?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but Daniel found his confidence again and cut her off.

“Are you serious?” He asked, mouth agape. “You know Jamie Tartt the footballer?”

Still slightly unsure of what exactly was happening, Lia shrugged noncommittally, but smiled sweetly at the man - apparently ‘Jamie’ - as she felt him tighten his grip.

“Yeah, mate,” he confirmed, the word sounding more like a threat than a term of endearment. “She knows me really well if you know what I’m sayin’ so I suggest you piss off.”

Daniel hesitated as his eyes flicked between them as if he was puzzling out whether or not he was being fooled and Lia held her breath as she silently prayed that they’d been convincing enough, only relaxing when he finally scoffed and shook his head.

“Whatever, she’s not worth the hassle.”

He didn’t stick around for a reaction to his parting shot, but Jamie waited until he’d stormed off and disappeared into the crowd to let his arm fall from her shoulders.

“Do you know him?”

“Unfortunately.”

A sigh fell from her lips as she nodded her head and despite the loud music blasting out from the dancefloor, she heard the disbelief in his voice loud and clear as he asked his next question.

“Is he your friend?”

“No,” she said firmly, shaking her head. “Not at all.”

“Good, because he seems like an absolute prick.”

His blunt honesty had a giggle slipping past her lips as she nodded in agreement.

“That is a pretty spot on assessment,” she admitted. “So, thank you very much for coming to my rescue, Jamie Tartt the footballer.”

“You’re welcome,” he nodded before flashing her a smirk. “Now, why don’t you buy me a drink? You know, for being so chivalrous.”

It was a bold - borderline cocky - request, but Lia found herself laughing again as there was something about her knight in shining armor that put her at ease. He wasn’t arrogant in the off-putting way that Daniel was, it was more of an endearing self-confidence that he exuded. She didn’t even want to think about what could have happened had he not just stepped in and scared Daniel off so she eagerly and happily led him to the bar to compensate him for his kindness.

-

The biggest downside that Lia found to being an inexperienced drinker was that her low level of exposure to alcohol made her much more susceptible to hangovers than those who were used to drinking copious amounts of liquor. 

And when she woke up the night after Mike’s birthday celebrations, she was immediately reminded of that fact.

Her stomach churned, her head throbbed and before she even opened her eyes it felt like she was feeling worse and worse with every passing moment. The more the fogginess of sleep drained from her mind, the more pains and discomfort she became aware of and she briefly wondered if she’d finally gone too far and might actually die from her hangover as she felt like there was truly no way that she could feel worse than she did in that moment.

That is, until she felt the bed shift as the person who was apparently laying beside her rolled over and let out a groan. A groan that definitely didn’t belong to her female flatmate.

Her eyes snapped open as panic took over and had her heart pounding in her chest. The room she was in was unfamiliar to her. The sheets she was wrapped in were far too expensive to be her own. She realized that she had no idea where she was and as she also began to realize that she couldn’t remember much of the night, her panic began to grow. The memory of her interaction with Daniel haunted her, but even though he was a horrible and misogynistic sleaze, she clung to a shred of hope that he wouldn’t be awful enough to take advantage of her if she was delirious - or do anything himself to get her in such a state.

With her thudding heartbeat echoing in her ears, she slowly rolled over and was instantly flooded with relief.

“Oh, thank god,” she let out the breath she’d been holding. “It’s you.”

Beside her was not the man who’d spent most of the part of the evening that she could recall harassing her, but the man who had saved her from him. His name - Jamie Tartt the footballer - sprang into her head as did a few blurry memories of the start of their evening together, but how she’d ended up in his bed was still a mystery to her.

“Course it’s me,” Jamie huffed, cracking an eye to look at her with a grimace on his face that told her he was feeling much the same as she was. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one,” Lia admitted. “I expected to wake up in my own bed, alone.”

Jamie grunted in response, letting his eye drift shut again as a silence settled between them until Lia worked up the courage to ask the question that was burning in her mind.

“Did we…uh…Did we…you know?”

If she had the energy to be embarrassed then Lia imagined her cheeks would probably be burning from her childish attempt at asking if they’d had sex, but her current hungover state left her unable to care even when Jamie opened his eyes again and flashed her a smirk.

“Did we fuck?” He clarified, waiting for her to nod before he half-heartedly attempted to shrug. “If I’m bein’ honest with ya, I can’t remember. But based on the fact that I still have my pants on and I’m not even under the blanket, I’m gonna say no.”

Another sigh of relief slipped from Lia's lips as he confirmed her suspicions. Her bra and underwear were still firmly in place despite her missing dress so she’d been hopeful that they hadn’t gone too far, but she had to admit that his handsome face and what she could see of his toned body were quite enticing and she couldn’t have blamed herself for giving into the temptation.

“That’s good, especially if we both can’t even remember it.”

Clearly a man of few words after such a heavy night of drinking, Jamie simply hummed in agreement, but as Lia gave up on conversation and let her arm fall over her face to shield her eyes from the sun streaming in through the window, Jamie seemed to find his voice.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “And especially if you’re fuckin’ married!”

“What? I’m not married?” Lia dropped her arm back down to the bed as her brow furrowed in confusion, but Jamie quickly lifted it back up to show her the engagement ring and wedding band resting on her ring finger. However, even through the shock and confusion, the ring wrapped around his own finger didn’t escape her notice as her panic returned in full force. “Are you married?”

“No, what are you on about?”

The confusion in Jamie’s face matched her own, but an idea was taking root in Lia’s mind that she just couldn’t shake. It was ridiculous. It was unrealistic. It was something that only happened in movies. But it was starting to seem like the only explanation. Pulling her arm from Jamie’s grip, she moved to sit up as fast as her weary body would allow and she leaned back against the headboard as she racked her exhausted brain for any kind of answer. However, her movement and the shift of the blanket filled the room with the sound of crinkling paper and she noticed a picture resting on the duvet between their legs.

A picture that created almost as many questions as it answered.

A picture of her and Jamie kissing at an altar in what appeared to be their wedding.

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” Lia gasped, reaching for the picture to get a closer look. “This can not be happening.”

Jamie was still looking at her like she’d lost her mind until she held out the picture for him.

“Oh, fuck.” His eyes widened as he took the paper from her hand. “Are we married?”

“No, there’s no way,” Lia insisted, hopelessly wishing her brain was working at full capacity. “There’s no way that’s legal. We would have needed a marriage license and those take time. There’s laws about it, there’s rules you have to follow.”

“Not if you’re rich enough,” Jamie pointed out. “People will let you do anything for enough money.”

“I don’t have any money!”

“Okay, but I do.”

He said it like it was obvious, but it only added to Lia’s confusion.

“Who are you?” She asked, starting to sound as frantic as she felt. “I know you’re Jamie Tartt the footballer, but what does that mean?”

“It means I’m Jamie Tartt and a footballer,” he rather unhelpfully explained. “I play for AFC Richmond, like, professionally.”

“So, you’re basically like a celebrity?”

“I guess so, yeah. To some people.”

“And you have the money to bribe your way into a drunken, last minute marriage?”

“Probably,” Jamie shrugged. “Can’t say that I’ve ever tried.”

“How are you so calm about this?” The question made her exasperation clear, but she was panicking and his nonchalant demeanor was getting under her skin. “We’re married, Jamie! This is a nightmare.”

“First of all, that’s offensive,” he informed her, tossing the picture back down on the bed. “And I’m too fucking hungover to care. We don’t even know if it’s real.”

“Okay, but this,” Lia held her hand up in front of his face to remind him of her rings. “Makes it seem pretty real.”

“I dunno,” Jamie smirked, grabbing her wrist to stop her from moving her hand away. “Because if I was actually gonna propose, it wouldn’t be with a ring that cheap.”

“And surely it would be to someone whose name you actually know.”

“Course I know your name,” Jamie insisted. His tone was indignant, but as Lia patiently waited for him to elaborate, he quickly caved as he let go of her hand. “Alright, so maybe I can’t remember it right now, but I probably knew it last night.”

Lia stared at him for a moment before flopping back against the pillow and letting out a sigh as she raised a hand to rub at her temples in an attempt to soothe her pounding headache.

“It’s Lia,” she informed him. “This is crazy. What are we going to do?”

“Take a nap?” His suggestion was met with a huff of protest and a request for him to take it seriously, but he argued that he was. “I have training later, I need to sleep this off.”

It was a hard point to argue with when a nap did sound so appealing, but the uncertainty of the situation had Lia feeling overwhelmed and in her fragile state, her emotions bubbled to the surface.

“Please, Jamie,” Lia practically whispered, blinking back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. “We need to figure this out.”

The emotion in her voice caught Jamie’s attention and he flicked his eyes up to meet hers. There was concern on his face, but it was clear that he was fighting some kind of internal battle - probably between whether he should do something to ease her worries or stick with his plan to take a nap - until after a moment of deep thought, he let out a sigh and nodded his head.

“Alright, but can we at least stop to get a coffee on the way?”

“On the way where?”

“To Richmond,” he clarified, dragging himself out of bed and chivalrously passing Lia her dress that was on the floor by his feet. “I know some people who can probably help us.”

“Oh, perfect, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Jamie’s words were said with a sigh that made it clear to Lia just how much of a struggle it had been for him to get out of bed, but as he disappeared into the bathroom and she climbed out of bed herself, the effort that such a simple movement took made her realize that Jamie might have been on to something when he suggested they take a nap.

-

“Well, hello, Mr. and Mrs. Tartt.”

The greeting came from a tall, blonde woman who - from her seat behind a large desk - appeared to be the owner of the office Jamie had taken her to. Their entrance had also caught the attention of the other woman sitting by the desk and the dark haired man beside her. When they’d arrived at the football stadium, Lia had worried that Jamie had simply been trying to shut her up by saying he had someone who could help them and had instead brought her with him to the training he’d mentioned earlier with the expectation that she’d find her own way home, but she was reassured that it still seemed like he had some kind of plan.

“How do you know about that?”

Jamie pulled two more chairs over to the desk, gesturing for Lia to sit down as the woman who’d greeted them pointed to the newspaper in front of her. There on the front page was a copy of the picture they’d found when they woke up and a snappy headline about Tartt being off the market.

“Oh my god,” she groaned. “This is so bad. I still can’t believe that it’s even legal for a bar to host last minute weddings for incredibly intoxicated people!”

“Luckily, I don’t think it is,” the woman informed her before adding an introduction. “I’m Rebecca Welton, owner of AFC Richmond, and this is Keeley Jones, our head of marketing and Roy Kent, one of our coaches.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lia murmured. “I’m Lia Adams, probably one of the most embarrassed people in the country right now.”

“It’s alright,” Keeley assured her with a warm smile. “We all do stupid shit sometimes, everyone will forget all about it in a couple weeks.”

Rebecca nodded in agreement before adding, “So, what can we do for you both?”

“I thought you’d know what to do,” Jamie shrugged. “Help us figure out if it’s legal and all that.”

“I can reach out to some people that should be able to help,” Rebecca agreed, picking up her phone and quickly typing away. “But I can almost guarantee you that whatever ceremony you had last night was not legally binding.”

Relief washed over Lia as she sank back into her chair, hoping that Rebecca’s assurances would prove to be true.

“What’s the story with you two anyway?” Keeley asked. “How did you meet?”

“Last night at a bar,” Jamie informed them before smugly adding, “I saved her from some guy that was being a prick.”

“You only just met last night and decided to get married that fast? That’s so romantic!”

Keeley’s use of the word ‘romantic’ wasn’t exactly the one that Lia would have chosen, but Roy - who had been simply watching them intensely the whole time - spoke up before she could argue.

“Well, it makes sense,” he scoffed. “If she spent any longer in his company than she never would have agreed to marry him.”

“Shut up, old man,” Jamie shot back. “Don’t be such a dick.”

Anger flashed across Roy’s face, but a ping from Rebecca’s phone distracted everyone before he could answer.

“Ah, just what I thought,” she smiled as she read the message. “There is no way that you are actually legally married and my contacts found no trace of an application for a marriage license under either of your names.”

Hearing once and for all that they hadn’t made too much of a mess with their drunken wild adventure was almost enough to have Lia squealing with glee, but the headache that was still lingering in her poor, dehydrated brain had her settling for an ear to ear grin.

“Wow, thank you so much for your help. That was such a quick response.”

“I only work with the best,” Rebecca informed her, flashing her a wink. “So, you’re both free to go your separate ways.”

“Well, hang on a minute,” Jamie protested. “This could actually be good for me.”

“How so?”

The shock was clear in Lia’s voice, but as she looked around the room it seemed her confusion was shared by almost everyone there.

“Well, I have a bit of a bad reputation,” he admitted, providing Lia with more questions than answers. “And this might make people start giving me the benefit of the doubt. You know, if I’m a family man.”

There was a smirk on his face, but Lia wasn’t entirely sure that she liked what it seemed like he was suggesting as she pressed for more information.

“What kind of a bad reputation do you have?”

“People think that I’m a bit of a cocky prick who sleeps around a lot.”

“Because you are a cocky prick who sleeps around a lot.”

The interjection came from Roy, but Jamie kept his cool as he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m tryin’ to be better.”

“And what?” Lia questioned, her skepticism clear in her voice. “You want to marry me to help convince people that you’ve changed?”

“Not, like, for real,” he assured her. “But it’s already all over the papers, we can just let people think that it’s real.”

The suggestion had a giggle falling from Lia’s lips as she was so sure that there was no way he was serious until Keeley jumped into the conversation.

“It would actually probably help Jamie out a lot,” she reluctantly agreed. “It would be good for people to see that there’s another side to him.”

The shock that she felt hearing those words leave Keeley’s mouth had her so stunned that she was unable to formulate any kind of response. However, she was grateful that as she sat with her jaw dropped, trying to wrap her mind around what was happening, Rebecca - who appeared to be just as aghast as she was - chimed in with some sense.

“You’re not actually serious, are you?” She questioned. “How on earth could you sell it? He was just galavanting around on TV bragging about his sexual escapades, no one will believe this is some romantic love match.”

The longer the conversation went on, the more questions Lia had about the man sitting beside her, but before she could question what exactly Rebecca was referring to, Jamie had a solution to the problem she’d brought up.

“Could say that we were on a break,” he shrugged. “But she forgave me when I got home. I’ll even admit to running back with me tail between me legs, say that I only went on the show because I was so heartbroken.”

To Lia’s horror, it seemed that Jamie’s plan eased Rebecca’s doubts as her face shifted from disgust into something that seemed much more understanding.

“Okay, wait,” she spoke up, finally finding her voice. “I have a few questions about all this. Like, first of all, why were you bragging about your sexual escapades on TV?”

“I was on that island dating show a few months ago.”

She knew the one he was talking about and she cringed, knowing the type of people who went on that kind of show and the type of antics they got up to.

“And now you’re trying to rebrand yourself to change the public's perception of you?”

“I’m trying to be a better person,” he clarified. “And it would be nice if everyone didn’t assume that I’m still a prick.”

Roy scoffed, earning a quick ‘shh’ from Keeley, but Lia had to admit that she was leaning more towards sharing his skepticism. She liked to give people the benefit of the doubt and was a firm believer that even good people sometimes made bad decisions and were deserving of a second chance, but if it had only been a few months since he was on some trashy reality TV show then she was unsure of how much he could have changed in such a short amount of time.

“That’s admirable,” she relented. “But why do you want me to help you make that happen?”

“Because there’s already pictures of the two of you together all over the papers,” Keeley reminded her. “It would be an easier sell than if we found someone else to help out.”

“But none of you know anything about me. I could be a serial killer for all you know.”

“Are you?”

The question came from Jamie and the genuine concern on his face would have been amusing under different circumstances.

“No, but if I was then I probably wouldn’t admit it,” she pointed out. “It just seems crazy to me that you’re so willing to jump into some kind of arrangement with me when all you know about me is that sometimes I get drunk and make incredibly irresponsible decisions like getting ‘married’ to a handsome stranger.”

She saw a smirk sliding onto Jamie’s face that only had her annoyance growing, but she was quickly distracted by Keeley sheepishly waving her phone in the air.

“I’ve been creeping your social media while we’ve been sat here,” she admitted. “Obviously you could have some deep dark secrets that no one knows, but from what I can tell you seem like quite a sweetheart and you’re really fucking adorable.”

The compliment had Lia’s cheeks heating up, but the insanity of what was being suggested still weighed on her. Maybe in the world of celebrities - even minor ones as many people would class professional footballers to be - it was a normal thing to fake a relationship to sway public opinion, but in Lia’s world that wasn’t something that happened every day and she felt like any moment everyone would burst out laughing and shout ‘gotcha!’ like she was on some kind of prank show.

“You don’t have to agree to anything if you’re not comfortable,” Rebecca assured her, picking up on her hesitation. “This is a completely insane request and everyone will completely understand if it’s too much to ask.”

Lia got the feeling that her words were just as much a reminder for the people waiting for her response as they were to reassure her, but as ridiculous as the situation was, she had to admit that she was intrigued. There was nothing else going on in her romantic life and despite the red flag of Jamie’s reputation apparently being in dire need of fixing, he seemed like a nice guy and they’d had fun the night before from what she could remember. Plus, she’d be lying if she said he wasn’t attractive and there were worse things in life than pretending some hot, rich footballer was your husband.

“Well, what would be in it for me?” she asked after a moment of thought. “You get the benefit of having your reputation boosted, but what do I get out of this?”

“I can make it worth your while.” Jamie’s offer was said with a wink and smirk, but despite the flush of heat that washed over Lia at the thought of what he was alluding to, she rolled her eyes and waited for him to make what he clearly thought was a more enticing offer. “Alright, I’ll pay ya.”

“Like I’m some kind of escort?”

“No! I just meant that I’ll take care of you!”

“Oh, like a sugar daddy?”

“No! That’s not what I mean. You’re twisting my words!”

Lia was about to protest and argue that she was simply trying to understand what he was offering and insist that she was not comfortable with any kind of money being exchanged as if he was hiring her to be his wife, but Rebecca - who Lia was finding to be an ever present voice of wisdom - stepped in to help them find a more productive way to resolve the issue.

“Lia, is there anything in particular that you would like to get out of the arrangement?”

It was a much more direct way to figure it out instead of Jamie offering her things she was going to turn down, but it was such a big question that she wasn’t really sure how to answer. She shrugged as she racked her brain for some way to make the situation mutually beneficial until eventually an idea popped into her head.

“My dad owns a bookstore,” she informed them, a flash of excitement running through her as she realized that there might actually be a positive side to the mess she’d gotten herself into. “It’s just a small local one, but he’s had it for years - since before I was born - and now with all the big chains he’s finding it harder to compete. Maybe if there was some way for Jamie to subtly promote it and get a few extra customers in the door then that could be really helpful.”

“There’s one big problem with that,” Roy informed her, a smirk sliding onto his face. “No one’s ever gonna believe that Jamie Tartt knows how to read.”

“Oh, piss off,” Jamie spat as Keeley warned him to be quiet and keep any unhelpful opinions to himself. “I can so read and I’m always happy to support local businesses.”

It was clear from the strain on his face that Roy had more thoughts he was dying to share, but a stern look from Keeley had him keeping quiet as Lia sat up a little straighter and tried to control her newfound enthusiasm for their plan.

“That would really help me out. So, if you’re willing to do that then I am willing to pretend that I am Mrs. Tartt,” she agreed. “But we’ll have to set up some ground rules.”

It was Jamie’s turn to look hesitant and suspicious as he cautiously nodded his head.

“Okay, let’s hear it.”

“You won’t be able to sleep with anyone,” she informed him. “People talk and if you’re already going to let them all think I was stupid enough to take you back after you ditched me to go be a whore on TV then I won’t do if it you’re going to let them think I was stupid enough to marry you even though you’re cheating on me.”

“I didn’t ditch you to be a whore on TV, I ditched you and then I was a whore on TV.”

“Semantics,” Lia rolled her eyes. “That’s my number one rule so if you’re not okay with being celibate then I can’t do this.”

Jamie looked almost physically pained by the idea, but after a moment of internal debate, he reluctantly agreed.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Anything else?”

They spent the next half an hour debating the logistics of their arrangement. Neither side had too many demands other than Lia’s request for him to stop seeing other people and Jamie requesting for her to move in with him in case photographers were sniffing around, but they also had to figure out what their official story would be. In the end, they came up with two versions. For the general public, they would confirm that their late night drunken wedding was simply a joke and a bit of fun, but admit that they’d been together for a while and had a small, private wedding a few weeks before. For close friends and family who would have been in attendance at said wedding and would therefore know it wasn’t true and for Jamie’s teammates - some of whom were present at for their drunken nuptials according to the pictures in the paper - they would admit that they were just pretending to be married to brighten up Jamie’s reputation, but would tell everyone that they’d been dating since Jamie returned from his excursion into reality TV.

Lia was still struggling to wrap her mind around the situation, but everyone had assured her that she could bail at any point if it became too much so she was willing to give it a shot - especially if it meant helping out her dad’s business. By the time they were done discussing all the ins and outs, she was very much ready for a nap and not at all ready to face the millions of texts that she knew were waiting for her from the near constant buzzing of her phone. Jamie and Roy had to get ready for training, but Lia was very grateful that Jamie took a little detour to walk her back out to his car.

“I can take the bus,” she assured him as he tried to hand her his keys. “Or how will you get home?”

“Someone will give me a ride,” he insisted, jangling the keys until she tentatively took them from his hand. She mumbled out a ‘thanks’ so softly that she wasn’t even sure he would have heard until he replied. “It’s the least I can do after what you’re doing for me. I promise I’m not as bad as you’re probably imagining. Or, I’m tryin’ not to be.”

There was something about the vulnerability in his voice that tugged on Lia’s heartstrings. He was basically a stranger to her and she didn’t know his story, but it was clear to her that he truly was trying to be a better person despite whatever he’d done in his past. She was fully intending to Google him as soon as she got home just to make sure that the sins he was trying to atone for weren’t anything as extreme as murder or any kind of violence, but there was something about him that made her want to give him the benefit of the doubt and there was obviously something that she’d seen in him the night before that made her like him enough to marry him.

“I believe you,” she smiled. “But we can talk about it later. Good luck with your training, I hope your hangover doesn’t hold you back too much.”

Jamie scoffed out a laugh as they both knew that he wouldn’t be in top form that afternoon, but then he surprised her as he leaned in to press a kiss on her cheek. She stood stunned even after he’d pulled away, shocked by the comforting familiarity of the gesture, but as Jamie opened the door of his car for her, she spotted a few of his teammates watching them from the pitch and realized why he’d done it.

“Oh, I don’t know your address,” she reminded him as she climbed into the car. “Can you text it to me?”

“I don’t have your number.”

Lia laughed at the absurdity of the situation - they were supposed to be married yet they barely knew any basic information about each other - and rattled off her phone number as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Once everything was sorted and Lia knew where she was heading after she went home to pick up her things, she said goodbye and headed out of the parking lot, but paused to blow a kiss out the window and laughed as Jamie dramatically caught it.

They had a relationship to sell after all - as he’d just reminded her - and she was relieved to see that they might be able to have a little fun along the way.

-

chapter two

#jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x ofc #jamie tartt fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #amorous facades

[suzyq31]

A note to fellow Harmony readers/writers

Hello everyone,

I feel the need to say something about recent events. A post on the Harmony subreddit has given a platform for people to air their grievances about a particular story. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this happen and have been on the receiving end. And it really sucked. I’ve let myself believe that is part of being in this fandom, having your work ripped apart publicly and regularly.

I would like to ask the moderators of these spaces to please consider changing their stance on this. Adding in a rule that prevents posts like the one mentioned, among others. Again, this really isn’t meant to cast blame on any particular person. There was a comment about how writers need to stop acting like their god's gift to writing or the fandom, and to simply get over negative criticism. I want to clarify I don’t think that I’m special, or that my voice matters because I happen to write fanfic.

I’m no god, but I am a human. One who is dealing with their own pain as best they can. There are real problems that are much larger than fandom. Which makes it all the more difficult when I do choose to escape the horrors, only to find more negativity. I don’t expect the internet to always be a ‘safe space', but I do think fandom spaces can be more focused on positivity.

All of this has made me reevaluate my own role within fandom. I’m giving myself time and grace to make a final decision on how I want to move forward. In the meantime I would encourage anyone who cares about the fandom community to please reach out to the team at HMS Harmony (with kindness, they are also humans with feelings and lives.) If you feel inclined you could ask them to consider adding some caveats on how fics are discussed on public spaces such as Reddit and discord.

On another note, I myself haven’t always been as kind as I would have liked. If I’ve ever said something that’s upset anyone, I’m sorry. I regret some of the ways I’ve shown up in fandom over the years. I’m personally working on my own anger that I wrestle with, in real life and on the internet. Overall I would love to see if we could all think more carefully in how we discuss things, especially people’s creative work.

If you are a reader, there are so many positive ways you can contribute. The number one way is to reach out to those authors whose work you adore, especially those who don’t receive many comments. Tell them what you love about how they write Harry and Hermione, let them know their work matters to you. I promise it will make their day and encourage them to keep going. When you participate in fandom, focus on discussing the stories that make you go hell yes! Make fandom friends, who you can privately talk more in depth about works or what doesn’t work for you in a fanfic. Discord can feel private! But when you have over 5k members it isn’t and discussions that veer into complaining about an author’s choices it can start to come across as a pile up. I know hearing about how my own stories are discussed has left me discouraged.

To quote Albus Dumbledore-"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” There is collective power in how we engage. I’ve personally adored this pairing since I was a young child. To this day I still remember some of the storylines that I would play over and over in my head. I took solace in the magical world when I was bullied and I spent my lunch hours hiding in the library with my copy of PoA. As an adult I’ve turned to writing fanfic while trying to manage grief and the overwhelm of figuring out this next stage of my life. What has stayed consistent is my love of these characters.

It took me 22 years to start writing down my ideas, and I’ve found a lot of joy in doing so. I know many other writers have to. There really is nothing like getting a story out of your head and onto the page, even better? Getting to share it with others who love those characters too. We should think of ourselves as lucky that there are so many different stories out there to choose from. And that so many people choose to share their creativity with the world. I truly think we have more in common than we may realize, readers/writers/moderators etc.

I’ll leave you with this poem, because I find poetry always expresses things better than I can.

All the best,

Suzy.

#harry potter fanfic #harry/hermione #harry x hermione #harmonie #harmony #fanfic writing #fandom #harry potter

[horrorknife]

handing you the microphone. tell me more about hoffheight.

oh Man. you dont even know what u have done........

ok so um . i think that there are a myriad of interesting ways for them to Meet each other but i think their relationship for the most part stays consistent. i've done a lot of thinking and Rp Writing for this because i am . Insane LOL

at first i just thought they'd have interesting interactions but the more i thought about it the more i realized that they are both a) the Most prey animal of the jigsquad (i count adam by proxy because. he has to be in order for my nefarious deeds to work. but that's a whole other topic i can't get into here lol) and b) the same type of defensive and angry person who is really just terrified at the world around them.

adam's strongest (onscreen) bond is lawrence (altho i am tempted 2 say he is the deepest bond he has. genuinely. lol cant get into that here either tho) and mark's is angelina. both of them are forcefully ripped away from them, and both of them deal w it by turning to Anger. (no one lets adam be fucking mad enough. well enough i say. im here to fix the softboy fandomification of this guy.) i think they could find a good common ground after getting to know each other.

at first i think adam really enjoys trying to poke at hoffman to get reactions, and hoffman is so annoyed but also intrigued because he does Not get this guy. so they treat each other like culture samples in petri dishes for a while. at first its just like smoke breaks or adam (who is actually p adept at engineering after learning some of it) helping mark fix things on his prototypes. they just chat idly or enjoy the silence, and both of them are constantly internally like This Is So Weird But I Actually Kind Of Like Being Around You

i like to think their relationship isn't really romantic but it's not platonic either. if they were NORMAL people it would be a qpr but they're fucking crazy people so it's just a weird situationship. they love and care for each other a LOT a lot a lot. i like to think adam is hoffman's little pet cat and he's always giving him pepper spray and new knives and shit for self defense bc he's incredibly protective of him. i don't think he'd like the idea of lawrence coming around and interacting w adam again because he had to see adam struggle and help him recover from the emotional damage lawrence did to him.

i also think that while adam does round hoffman's sharp edges out just a little, it's much more interesting to explore how mark's influence makes adam More violent (bc hes already predisposed to violence and i think mark could absolutely capitalize on that)

i could say so much more about them adkjfngjkfn but ummmm. to tie this post off have this hoffheight hoffman doodle i did for a warmup last night

edit: oh and i should really mention that they are constantly up and down w each other, those 2 men have such short tempers that they would absolutely fight and argue and yell at each other. theyre explicitly toxic for each other as all saw ships should be. this is necessary.

#hoffheight #silenthillmutual #asks #EHEHEEEE i love them so fucking bad ............. #my art

[the-chihayafuru-landslide]

In Defense of the Ending of Chihayafuru [PART 1]

Well I never thought I would be writing something like this because mainly I wanted to use my blog to discuss Taichihaya because that’s all my biased ass is interested in is the romance. I’m a consistent bitch through and through, unlike some of y’all. But I feel this topic is a bit more of a pressing matter since currently people over on twitter have been fist fighting in PQRT over the ending (still lol). Which, you know my ass couldn’t stay out of because I love pissing myself off and being boo boo the fool.

Posting this again just as a petty reminder since I am sore winner.

One of the best tweets in recent memory was someone calling Taichihaya a tacked on wattpadd romance and was Suetsugu selling out to thirsty fans. I truly think it’s lovely people think that Suetsugu had so little integrity and would would spend 15 years on a manga and throw it down the drain in the final chapter! Nah, if that was the case and she genuinely wanted to placate everyone, I think she would have picked the friendship route. (Especially since Arata won the most recent online [ rigged ] popularity poll lmao I’m sure she was nervous as hell when that happened) If there was no romance conclusion then both Taichihayas and Chiharatas alike would be shrugging our shoulders and fighting in the parking lot behind a Burger King till the end times. Honestly, I’m so glad we don’t live in that timeline because I don’t think I could handle being a Taichihaya solider against these absolute units. Their stubborn persistence in their own biased reading of Chihayafuru is truly remarkable despite the thousands of arguments that have been thrown at them. I wish I was so uncritical in my life because my thoughts are constantly oscillating when presented with new information to try and get to the closest version of the “truth”. Which requires you to admit when you are wrong and not be blinded by your own hubris. Heh (I’m realizing now why people don’t like me considering I say shit like this completely straight)

Before we address some of the writing criticisms that have been thrown at the ending, let’s get this obligation out of the way: the ending is not perfect. No singular piece of media is and can ever be. But for what Suetsugu managed to accomplish and (IMO) hitting every necessary story beat in 80 pages is actually very impressive. I’ll be honest, I was at times shaking my head wondering how she could do it.

Suetsugu was writing this manga for 15 years and was trying to get to the ending as quickly as she could (originally she wanted it to end it in 49 volumes but got convinced by her editor to stretch it to 50 volumes which thank god). So using the words of someone else (who every so often says something that I regrettably agree with), I think we can all afford to give this mangaka a bit of grace.

At the same time no matter what the conditions were for the ending’s creation, the ending still is what it is and that doesn’t make it above criticism. But some of the criticisms I’ve had the pleasure to read (derogatory) have made me want to rip out my hair. I can’t even be nice, y’all are just being fuckin purposely obtuse, hypocritical, or partaking in bad faith cinema sins level criticism.

I can understand being frustrated as hell that things didn’t resolve the way you thought they would (trust me I’d still be crying to this day if Taichihaya wasn’t canon) but the actual hoops people have tried to jump through, like criticizing things that UP UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER DID NOT BOTHER THEM IN THE SLIGHTEST, so they can point to anything other than what they are really mad about: that the ship they wanted to see didn’t end up happening and that Arata and Chihaya’s relationship not being romantical in the end has apparently no merit unless Chihaya told him EXPLICITLY at the end what a special little boy he is. I’d have more respect for some of you if you just came out and said it outright instead of being like every other theme and arc was also ruined by Chihaya’s confession lmao. I guess that’s just Chihaya’s power as a protagonist to ruin her own story by confessing. SHE IS A QUEEN IN EVERY SENSE. But of course people don’t want to say they were upset about the shipping b/c they spent how long (years?) tearing down those dastardly Taichihayas for only caring about that! Oh how the turntables.

Now I’m a chaotic individual and this entire thing is written purely in spite (I’m reading Skip Beat so I’m living my Kyoko fantasy) but before we get into the meat of my arguments; I’m going to break down the criticisms I’ve read about the ending into three categories:

1. Unresolved Plot Points

2. Unsatisfying conclusions to plot points

3. Things we should have seen but didn’t

I’m going to be discussing all three types of criticisms loose and free because thankfully I am not in academia anymore. So it’s going down, I’m yelling timberrrr. I just want to mention, with added emphasis, when I am discussing the criticisms filed under the third point- “things we should have seen but didn’t”, I want to acknowledge that it is ok for people to be sad about not seeing the thing they wanted to see. Even if thing wasn’t that important, and didn’t actually ruin the story.

I too had many things I wanted to see that Suetsugu did not feel necessary to include. Like yeah sure, I got my ship and even my crack ship (Arata x Sumire shippers manifesting their ship out of thin air like they were rubbing a lamp) yet I am greedy as hell. For all of our suffering as Taichihaya shippers (me for like 6 months some people for a literal decade) with Taichi and Chihaya being purposely kept apart in the story for literal years; at the end when they finally are a couple I wanted to see Taichihaya dating fluff and also their wedding (the way I felt so emboldened by reading the spin off for Eden No Hana that I truly believed it could happen). I should mention real quick that I sorta think ending a story with characters getting married is at this point a bit outdated and also kind of idk “tacky” yet the fervour I wanted to see a Taichihaya wedding made the feminism crawl back inside me and die. My life is filled with contradictions.

However, with things we want to see, to judge whether or it was necessary and or good to be included in the story we have to ask ourselves these questions: what does it add to the story? Is it necessary? What themes does it build? Is it redundant? Is it fun? Does it help resolve plot elements? Does it build characters? Etc etc etc

I actually do think some Taichihaya dating fluff would have been a nice way to wrap up the ending on a nice positive outlook for Chihaya and Taichi’s future together and provide a bit of breathing room after all the trauma and depression that’s happened (WE WERE SUFFERING FOR 100 CHAPTERS AND ALMOST 10 YEARS). I WASN’T EVEN ASKING FOR ANYTHING THAT DEEP IT COULD BE TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WALKING SIDE BY SIDE FOR A SINGLE PANEL HOLDING HANDS.

This could have been us and I would have been satisfied BUT NOooooo

IT would have been fkin nice, yet it wasn’t completely necessary. We kind of /got this/ with the slight time skip the end. You just have to squint your eyes and read it through subtext (something apparently Taichihayas are good at lmao).

With the final pages of the story we got: Taichi and Chihaya confirmed to be dating, them wearing tasukis together in the final spread (y’know as they did before as a team lmao), and Chihaya’s random hair change suggesting maybe they went on a date beforehand… Yeah these things suggest that the two of them are doing well despite living in different cities, attending different universities, and not even being able to see each other since they started dating (fk me up). Does it hurt me that’s all we got in the ending? You know it does. Do I completely agree with Yuki Suetsugu’s writing choice? No. I WANT A MORSEL OF FLUFF OF SOMETHING I AM A STARVING VICTORIAN CHILD AND I NEED A SINGLE CRUMB. The way we only got a single panel in the spin off chapter and it Taichi and Chihaya in the same tournament just a different angle… IT IS A CRIME BUT don’t worry about me, I’m completely fine yep CoOl as a cUcumber. We as a fandom expect nothing so we bounce off the walls when we are served air.

Ok what was the point of this rant? Oh, that we all want to see things for fun even when they don’t serve a purpose because it makes us happy and isn’t the point of stories… enjoyment? However, I’m going to be a dick and shit on your dreams because I didn’t get everything I wanted, why should you lmao.

But again, I do understand the lamenting at least.

Alright now I’m done the intro (if you can call all of that nonsense an intro) let’s discuss the actual criticisms. Again this is in no particular order and I won’t be addressing every single criticism I’ve ever read (like not even gonna touch the 2chan comments about Chihaya being a sl*t because I don’t feel like giving misogynists the time of day lmao) just the ones I feel like.

[ 1 ] Taichi’s Arc Was Ruined by Chihaya’s Confession

You know this would be the first thing I would address because I am the number one most die hard annoying Taichi fan (or at least I hope people think of me as so). I actually have an unfinished twitter thread on why Taichi’s arc wasn’t ruined, which will someday see the light of day, so for now I won’t go in as much detail (LMAO unfortunately this isn’t at all concise, the things I do for this fictional man).

Taichi’s character was apparently supposed to be the personification of a loser and Arata a winner. Y’know because Arata was bullied in his childhood and in a stylized reality that means you get everything you have ever wanted and the person who bullied you can never be redeemed instead has to be punished by the universe forever for the crimes of his youth. It’s just and completely fair, yes, if you make one mistake when you are 10 it will define you for the rest of your life.

Ok jokes aside, I think the majority of the fandom /kind of/ understood the vague outline of Taichi’s arc: it was about taking a risk and not being a coward. It actually takes a kind of vulnerability to actually put effort into something: whether that be a relationship or a sport because all of your hard work could literally amount to nothing. Losing only hurts if you care about winning. But winning only feels like a win when it is earned (maybe that’s why nobody cared that Arata got Meijin because his ass was at times too OP lmao). This applies both Karuta (Taichi’s initial belief that there was no point in taking Karuta seriously because he could never beat Arata) and in love (he dated some random girl he didn’t care about b/c it was easy).

So in that sense, I somewhat agree with Taichi’s arc was about appreciating the journey “to love that desperation” to keep trying and not take the easy way out. That getting rejected after you confess your feelings to the girl you’ve been in love since childhood and losing by a huge margin of 18 cards fkin sucks and will hurt so much; but that doesn’t make any of the time spent on it worthless. Not only that, but you can and should still keep trying. (In Karuta I mean. If you get rejected please don’t be like Arata and say lmao I’ll try again because I’m moving to your city to be closer to you)

Even though Taichi had a tenuous love/hate relationship with Karuta, At the end of the day, it still gave Taichi everything that is dear to him: his friends, teachers, and the dream to bet his whole youth. Hence why I will fight to say I that I do like the hug with Arata b/c Taichi finally got acknowledged by his rival (or his core). It just stings after Arata smoked Taichi’s ass with an 18 card victory lmao. Like on the one hand yippee Arata acknowledged him… on the other Arata giving a hug still reads a bit patronizing sorry idc. I love and hate the hug. I look at the panel of them hugging and I’m like aww my babies :) then I read the whole arc and I’m liek TAKE YOUR FKIN HUG ARATA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. Sorry I got off topic there. (Unfortunately this is neither the first or last time that will happen).

The ending wraps up Taichi’s arc perfectly because he spent the whole manga not really having a firm Karuta “dream” (goal?) of his own (he kind of does but it’s too complex to get into right now so for simplicity’s sake we’ll say this). He watched his friends make a pact to become Meijin and Queen and though he basically facilitated this moment, he was not included. The “outsider”, the one left behind while Chihaya and Arata had bond through their Karuta dream.

No Taichi did not need to be symbolically made the reader at the end of the story- this was the perfect use of the childhood imagery to show how Taichi felt like the worthless one in their friend group.

Taichi had every reason to quit Karuta after he got his single win against Arata (and also because Chihaya had “rejected” him). Instead, seeing his friends accomplish their dreams inspired him to keep trying. (Hence his practice swings in the hallway). Then at the end of it all he challenged Arata that he would come back next year and take the Meijin title, throwing himself back into Karuta after his most devastating 18 card loss. The difference now from before lies in Taichi’s motivations. Before he wanted to win for other people: he wanted Suou to visit his family and he wanted to see Chihaya’s win from the closest spot. Which is not necessarily a bad reason to do things, but a central theme of Chihayafuru from the first chapter is making a dream for YOURSELF. So when he finally challenges Arata at the end it’s the perfect ending to his arc because he’s doing it for nobody else other than himself. He’s already lost the chance to win Chihaya’s love through Karuta and Suou has visited with his family that he’s been avoiding for all these years.

Alright so now that we’ve covered his Karuta arc, so what about the romance arc? Obviously, Taichi was a loser there too because he got rejected after confessing his feelings to Chihaya (until Chihaya pulled an uno reverse at the end).

Immediately after getting rejected, Taichi distanced himself from Chihaya and also the club completely cutting himself off from all of them (mostly). But this action was never narratively treated as Taichi trying to punish Chihaya. SO MANY PEOPLE interpreted this action as emotional manipulation since OOO he hurt her feelings. Yeah, her feelings were hurt and so were his? If he was actually manipulating her, then he’d have to have some underlying goal he was trying to accomplish? Taichi was basically like me very sad and right now I don’t want to be around Chihaya anymore or my friends or the sport I loathe (but love) because I’m not a superhuman robot and I do have feelings and those feelings right now are suffocating me fdkcnkjac. HE NEVER ONCE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS SOME MASTER SCHEME TO GET HER TO LOVE HIM OR TEACH HER A LESSON AS REVENGE FOR HURTING HIM. He just needed space because he wanted to figure out who he was and also at this point his perfect grades were suffering. Chihaya’s rejection wasn’t the only thing that made him quit the club anyways- he was already going through a downwards spiral LONG BEFORE THIS starting with his loss against Chihaya at Yoshino. Chihaya’s rejection was just the final drop in a cup that was already too full. It was going to spill over regardless and Chihaya’s love wouldn’t have saved him.

In fact Taichi never brought up his rejection to her at all. The only scene that we got where Taichi truly acted poorly (and even then it didn’t really affect Chihaya) was when he derived some satisfaction of knowing that Chihaya was hurting because of him. It’s a very real emotion even if it’s an ugly one; which I’m sure we’ve all felt at sometime in our life… But it’s a feeling which he himself feels guilty about having. Because maybe… he doesn’t actually… Want to hurt Chihaya? But because he thinks the worst of himself, the fact he even felt momentarily good that she might be hurting too, makes him not want to ever be apart of Chihaya’s life anymore (he can’t go back). Yes this is all apart of his master scheme where he selfishly thinks that he doesn’t even deserve to be in Chihaya’s life! Taichi the incel or whatever.

Taichi and Chihaya did eventually start mending their relationship slowly and gradually over the course of the last 100 chapters. Taichi came back to watch Chihaya win against Arata, he apologized for ditching the club, they cleaned the clubroom together (things accumulated), and then they played as a team in the Qualifiers and Challengers. Taichi had time to process the rejection but based on the final chapter, and tbh EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER AFTER 205, seeing Chihaya and Arata side by side accomplishing their dreams and looking like an amazing couple (y’know thing he wanted for himself) hurts him even if he is also simultaneously happy for them. Taichi is written like a human being and not a happy go lucky robot that can take every single L in life and be better off for it.

Part of Taichi’s initial motivations for becoming good at Karuta were toxic: he wanted to get good so that Chihaya could notice him and then maybe she would fall in love with him. Since Taichi knew Chihaya was a “Karuta Baka” and seemingly only got flustered when she saw someone with skill (for example her first “crush” was on her married sensei LMAO).

Like was Taichi himself CLEARLY THINKS THAT CHIHAYA NEEDS A KARUTA MAN TO LOVE. Which he’s kinda right about at least initially lol.

So for Taichi actually the most important thing was not to “get over” his love for Chihaya, in fact what Taichi needed to find his own reasons to play Karuta outside of Chihaya’s love. Almost like it might have been linked to a void speech Or sOMething.

In the end, he FINALLY picks himself and his feelings by moving away instead of doing everything in his life for Chihaya’s sake (and lol he was never gonna stay in Tokyo just for Arata be serious). Which to me is not a bad idea, considering how much of his feelings he still carried the distance would help him be able to move on. It would not be good for anyone for him to remain in Tokyo being completely miserable and jaded while your two friends are in the beginning stages of their relationship (cause yeah Taichi the #1 strongest Chiharata believer in the manga). He was stepping away at least partially for their sakes as well.

Nor do I consider his decision to leave Tokyo a “cowardly” move? Taichi is leaving behind his life, his friends, his sensei(s), and his family and moving to someplace completely new. That takes bravery. Arata at least has a support network in Tokyo (outside of Chihaya and Taichi even!) like Hydro, Nishida, and the Shirinami society… who tf does Taichi even know in Kyoto lmao.

Unfortunately Taichi was not completely ok by the end of the manga. Sorry, it didn’t fit into your neat little timeline for when you thought Taichi should be comfortable being the third wheel for his two Karuta baka friends. He has the self esteem of a broken kite. Badum tsssss.

Nor was it like he dropped the news that he was moving away with the intention of hurting Chihaya even more and manipulating her to fall in love with him.

Taichi if he was still in his villain arc: “don’t call me. Don’t come to my house. We’re done.”

In Taichi and Chihaya’s final conversation in the clubroom Taichi doesn’t hide that he’s moving and states he simply needs a change of scenery but assures Chihaya that they will surely see each other again because they will always have Karuta. That is the exact same promise they made to each other as they were kids; a promise of everlasting friendship through their shared passions.

Sure, one could argue, because he wasn’t in Tokyo, they wouldn’t be as close as they before the break up and therefore he “didn’t really give her their friendship back”… BUT TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WOULD NEVER BE AS CLOSE as they were in high school!! In high school they were able to see each other every single day. BUT even if Taichi had stayed in Tokyo, all of them (Arata included) would be going to different universities. They would all be busy with their own studies and would probably only see each other at the Shirinami society (if Taichi and Chihaya only remained friends). So to be honest the distance only really stings if they decided to date (which they did so fk me upppp). Like it’s part of growing up, you don’t get to see your school friends as often anymore. It sucks, but that’s the way life is. But that doesn’t mean your friendship is worthless because you don’t live in the same city anymore? WE HAVE CELLPHONES.

We can debate all we want if Taichi wouldn’t have moved to Kyoto IF Chihaya confessed earlier but ultimately it doesn’t change the fact that in the end he put his feelings first. Which is what he should do!! HE SHOULD NOT ROLL OVER AND GET STEAM ROLLED BY TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE SELFLESSLY FOR ARATA AND CHIHAYA FCK YOU.

Off topic rant: but when Arata announced to Taichi that he was moving to Tokyo why did people think that it was something Arata did for Taichi? At that point TAICHI DEADASS THOUGHT TO HIMSELF SCREW YOU ARATA YOU’RE MY ENEMY. Arata did not know how to read the fking room it was lowkey embarrassing for him!! He didn’t ask Taichi if he wanted him there he assumed that they all wanted the trio back together. At this point in time TAICHI DID NOT.

However, the most important reason why it didn’t ruin Taichi’s arc is that Chihaya’s confession is not framed as Taichi’s “reward” for being cool with them being friends. Chihaya’s agency is at the forefront of her confession - it’s absolutely her choice. It’s the culmination of Chihaya’s arc of self discovery and finally being able to express her feelings with the help of her friends and finally knowing what those feelings are. She had been pondering her damn feelings for Taichi for 100 chapters like I’m very sorry that you missed it- but that’s on you

Just because it’s an annoying trope in other media where the rejected boy was the one the protagonist wanted all along does not instantly make it bad when it appears in a story… you have to look at how it’s executed. I know you some of you wanted a “progressive” story where the rejected boy “friend friend” would continue just be your closest friend even after getting rejected. But if that’s what you wanted, we got that with Arata? So like… huh. Why does it NEED to be Taichi? Is the universe who has it out for him or is it you because you hate him.

Chihaya’s confession wasn’t about Taichi’s feelings nor Arata’s but hers and hers alone so stfu about it “ruining Taichi’s arc” bitch ass what? It only ruins his arc if you were grading it under the incorrect assumption that Taichi’s big lesson was that he needed to be a loser in every aspect of life while Arata is a special boy who did nothing wrong ever therefore gets everything <3 IT WAS NEVER IMPLIED THAT SUETSUGU WAS WRITING TAICHI THIS WAY NOR IS THIS THEME THROWN OUT IF TAICHI IS THE ONE WHO GETS LOVED BACK? WHY DOES HE NEEDED TO BE A LOSER IN EVERYTHING?? HE ALREADY LOST IN KARUTA AND MADE PEACE WITH “LOSING” IN LOVE. I think it’s better actually that disappointment in life was split between two characters (Arata and Taichi) because it’s realistic that every character faces some disappointment in their life and has learn to cope?

Which is a perfect Segway to my next point:

[ 2 ] Arata needed to be formally rejected (again but better)

In the hell that is Chihayafuru discourse land where there are clowns on either side of the argument: there are two camps when it comes to Chihaya’s “answer” (or not a reply) to Arata’s confession. There are those who believe that Arata was never rejected that Chihaya instead said “wait until after I am Queen and then I’ll reject you” and there are those who believe Arata had already been soft rejected in ch 173.

It was funny the collective breakdown the other side had when Suetsugu said in a now deleted tweet that Arata had been soft rejected here and he knew it… THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE? SO MUCH FOR THEIR BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING

I was, of course, in the camp that believed that Arata had been soft rejected in this moment because Chihaya said “this is what’s up right right now” and mentioned nothing about having feelings for him. She just wanting to accomplish her dream and be the best in the world at Karuta. Saying “I’m focusing on other things” is actually not an uncommon way to let down people in Japan since it is more polite than saying outright that you’re not interested. Moreover, Chihaya never asks him to wait for a response… You’ll notice he says all of that about “coming closer” to her unprovoked. But I’m not discussing whether or not this was a rejection (this time). For the sake of the argument, let’s say Arata wasn’t rejected here… Then what.

This is apparently what people wanted Chihaya to say to him:

“Arata I realized at chapter 93 that I will always love you and Karuta but I actually lied to myself. You see I wanted to bait the omniscient presence that watches over my life because I like making people look like clowns. But yeah, don’t worry not all is lost I do love you but maybe like a friend though not a lover. Even though your confession was the one I preferred because it was like a marriage proposal. Anyways at least you’re Meijin and I am so utterly grateful for you all you’ve done for me like introducing me to the sport. Thanks so much for being the biggest support of me like when you made a team so I could beat your ass. Anyways learn how to use your phone ok? Love ya but not that way bye!”

Ok sorry LOL moving on. So the camp that thinks Chihaya did not reject Arata in that moment, did everyone think that Chihaya’s answer to his confession was “yes” and that she knew in that moment but she wanted to wait until after she had accomplished her dream to tell him so? GOD IT’S SO HARD TO EVEN ADDRESS CRITICISMS OF THE ENDING WITHOUT HAVING TO BREAK DOWN WHY THESE BELIEFS HAD NO PROPER FOUNDATION TO STAND ON TO BEGIN WITH. Because if Chihaya knew in that moment that she loved Arata back, wouldn’t she have said “this is an answer to your response” or MAYBE she would have said something along what Rion said to Makoto.

LIKE SENSEI DIDN’T PUT THIS IN FOR FUNSIES IT WAS TO TRY AND HELP PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER YOURSELF. “IS IT BETTER NOT TO SAY THIS NOW?”

So anyways, Chihaya did not promise after becoming the best in Japan that she would respond to him with a yes. In fact, she never said she would respond to him at all? So…

With the two added pages off in the Tankobon, it became clear that Chihaya didn’t even have all of her feelings sorted out by the time she became Queen. So we can simply write off Arata needing to be formally rejected directly after he won Meijin because Chihaya did not know yet how she felt. Thank you so much Suetsugu for that.

Which even if she had fully sorted her feelings and decided that she loved Tacihi… I agree with the notion that it would actually be super shitty for Chihaya to ruin probably the best day of Arata’s life with a rejection? Like “congrats on the win buddy, anyways I don’t love you! Ok BYE”

Like why would you think that is a better outcome for him? But I get it, this would be the last moment Chihaya and Arata would see each other before uni because of the simple fact he lived in Fukui so if she was going to say something in person then it would have to be there.

But thankfully Arata gave Chihaya a little more leniency, to you know, let him know how she felt (if it was any different) when he moved to Tokyo. So quite frankly it’s not even like he asked her to respond to him after she became best in the world EITHER.

So then the alternative to telling him in person would be to what… Text Arata the moment Chihaya and Taichi started dating? PLEASE HOW WOULD A TEXT BE BETTER? I don’t know, YOU GUYS ALWAYS SAID Arata was apparently pretty chill waiting too? So it’s not like he was urgently fading away and they were so heartless for not texting him the MOMENT they got together. What is he, the Jesus in their relationship?

I just wanted a reason to put this meme here

So I think honestly the best thing was in fact to tell Arata TOGETHER the next time Taichi and Chihaya saw him in person. Chihaya did not need to pull him aside alone and have a deep conversation and tell him his worth to her as a friend? Their relationship would actually remain the same because the thing Arata did want the most was a future where the three of them (the trio) could be together whereas TAICHI WANTED A FUTURE ALONE WITH CHIHAYA.

Like for example Taichi even though he had more time to process his rejection it’s not like him and Chihaya ever had a heart to heart about what happened either so it’s odd you think Taichi would have not needed one but Arata should have?

I also think Arata probably won’t need as much time to process the rejection because he’s already been established to brush off adversary quickly. Plus let’s give him a little credit he’s been waiting for almost a year for a response for his confession like… The guy should have had time to think perhaps Chihaya’s answer would be no with how long it took to get back to him. Does that make him a bit pathetic? Yeah. And that’s ok because I love a pathetic man.

Taichi’s presence was probably also needed because when you think about it last time Chihaya tried to reject Arata he said “just you wait I’m coming to be closer to you”. SO maybe she thought oh if my boyfriend is here he’ll take it as a clearer no… BUT THEN ARATA STILL MADE THAT JOKE ABOUT WINNING HER AT 28 REGARDLESS. Like Arata my little bi disaster please you’re not helping your own case cdndkncj. But honestly no hate to Arata using comedy to cope. WHY DO YOU THINK I AM SO FUNNY?? I learned at a young age if you make fun of the way people make fun of you that their insults hurt less. Wow I’m dropping my trauma in the essay about the ending of Chihayafuru I’m so classy.

But the biggest thing is CHIHAYA SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REJECT ARATA BEFORE CONFESSING TO THE GUY SHE LIKES. Like you guys are fricking weird placing more importance over Arata’s feelings INSTEAD OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? IT’S HER ARC OF SELF DISCOVERY AND I WOULD NOT HAVE EXPECTED HER TO GO BACK AND TALK TO TAICHI BEFORE ACCEPTING ARATA’S CONFESSION EITHER.

It’s funny coming from the people being like “I SHIP THE SHIP WHERE THE GIRL CLEARLY LIKES THE GUY AND YOU LOSERS ARE NOT RESPECTING HER AGENCY CAUSE SHE REJECTED THE OTHER” the way that broke down when the character picked the one you didn’t like or even consider could be still in the running.

So no, the story didn’t need Arata to be re-rejected in a more formal manner in the ways you guys are suggesting. However, I do think some aftermath for Arata’s story was actually necessary as he didn’t feel like he fully “grew up” compared to Taichi and Chihaya. Then my wish was granted because in the spin off chapter we see Arata coping with his heartbreak and moving to a new city without the expectation having his childhood trio back again.

LIKE in the spin off Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata’s relationship is honestly the best it’s ever been? They text each other more frequently (Arata learned how to use his cellphone) and Arata even talks to Chihaya without stumbling over his words and being awkward. It was so refreshing.

Obviously Arata was hurting a bit. After all, it was his first heartbreak and he spent idk 2 years with a crush on Chihaya? Now that he’s in Tokyo he’s feeling… lonely. Which is ironic because when he was in Fukui he felt loneliness because of the distance. Even so, moving to Tokyo was actually good for him because he is making new connections. Now he has a super cute girlfriend named Sumire who finally can appreciate HOW HOT ARATA IS and be the little spoon he has always wanted. The end! <3

I know most people hate the idea of “pair the spares” but Arata and Sumire have the most compatible zodiac signs so it’s not MY fault it’s written in the stars??? But honestly they aren’t “paired” together in the end, just that hey life moves on and Suetsugu is saying there are plenty other opportunities for love (except Suetsugu did confirm to me personally that Arata and Sumire got married so sorry bye).

Unfortunately there is more to say about Arata’s rejection though (which I am breaking up into smaller points).

2.1 - THE TONE OF ARATA’S “REJECTION”

I think one of the biggest problems with Arata’s “rejection” (or simply the confirmation that he didn’t get another shot when he moved to Tokyo) is the tone. I don’t think Suetsugu intentionally meant to make it funny (I can’t say for sure)… However, the abruptness of it IS SO COMEDIC FUNNIEST PART OF THE CHAPTER FR.

Like when I first heard that Arata was rejected by Chihaya and Taichi telling him they were dating, I actually thought this can’t be serious and someone was making a joke. BUT IT WAS REAL. It goes from a beautifully deep line from Chihaya’s confession to Arata saying “WAIT A SECOND YOU TWO ARE DATING??” THE WHIPLASH SDKJNDKJ

Like I’m sorry IT IS SO FUNNYYYYYY the million periods on that one page was for me because I was in disbelief.

I think the problem here is due to the absolute ROCKET SPEED pace of the final chapter. For whatever reason, everything needed to happen in the final chapter with little breathing room. I don’t know if I agree with that writing choice… I think the story could have benefitted from stretching this stuff out over 2-3 chapters.

In my perfect world, there would maybe be a bit of set up and wouldn’t go from profoundly beautiful line that had me wiping my tears to comedy? Maybe have Chihaya and Taichi planning to tell Arata to show that they care about him? (Even though their expressions say that they feel very guilty and awkward about it). So then it feels less like a joke and more like two friends awkwardly trying to explain to their friend that they are dating and break his heart gently.

To be honest who even knows if Taichi and Chihaya walked up with the intention of telling him they were dating (again what is he a parent they need permission from?) Maybe Arata saw something and inquired? Maybe they were caught off guard and were going to tell him after the tournament or something. Again, it’s not clear LMAO. What was important were these two facts: that the story ended with Arata knowing he wouldn’t have a chance with Chihaya and that Chihaya and Taichi did in fact start dating.

So for those who thought Arata’s feelings of love were very serious and profound and deserve to be treated with respect I can understand hell I can even respect why the comedic tone of his “rejection” would upset you. Even I was slightly /expecting/ a private conversation… not whatever this was.

However, again I think people projected that Arata’s feelings for Chihaya were a lot deeper then what they actually were. Perhaps this abrupt reaction is meant to say that his feelings were not as deep as people thought and he is a person who is able to brush it off and be happy for his friends? I guess he has more emotional maturity in that way… But he still has to make his stinky little joke. He’s 18 years old and I forgive him.

It’s his growth!! He looks like he’s about to throw hands with Taichi but instead he sticks with his incel joke!

I do get also why people were led to believe there would be some epic conclusion or at least thoughtful rejection because Arata still confessed to Suou that he was playing alongside the girl he liked. So it’s the result of the love triangle being kept so strictly ambiguous to the bitter end (after 246 you should have known but ok) that really did make some people look like clowns at the end. I admit, it could have easily been me, in your shoes. But I acknowledged my clowndom at every turn, so if it all backfired on me I could have left with a morsel of my pride.

So essentially yeah I think the tone being comedic was /probably/ the wrong choice. (Again what happened wasn’t comedic it was the abruptness which was comedic). However the tone was fine for me though. I liked having a little laugh after all of the trauma this manga put me through. Arata king you’re the funniest little guy fr.

2.2- ARATA’S STINKY JOKE

I don’t hate that Arata made a lighthearted joke and teased Taichi one last time after getting rejected (like the demon of Karuta he is). What I hated is the content of the joke. It felt very “wink wink nudge nudge” to the reader- like haha Taichi and Chihaya are long distance now and their proximity was THE ONLY REASON THEY FELL IN LOVE! (It never was).

You see I am of the belief that Arata blamed things outside of his control (living in Fukui) rather than focusing on the things he could control. Like responding to fking emails or text messages OR GIVING CHIHAYA YOUR NUMBER AND NOT TAICHI, BITCH BOY?? (I’m fine).

Like he is like “I am so lonely because I am not next to my friends” instead of trying to make friends with the people who lived around him too? Like ARATA I really feel for you, because you just like me fr.

So yeah, Arata’s joke did not land for me. It could go, and I would be happier. Also it makes Arata look like he didn’t have his moment of growing up even though his he was managing his negative emotions very well while his heart was being stomped on (those who know, know).

Let me reiterate, I don’t hate the fact that he made a joke, just that particular joke I dislike. My joke of choice: “haha you guys only announced it now because you want the Meijin to fumble in the tournament, nice try I’ll smoke your asses”

2.3 WHAT ABOUT CHIHAYA’S GROWTH?

This is the only argument I can /somewhat/ get behind. That if Chihaya had been able to reject Arata in a more formal manner then it would show how much she has grown. Yes, because one of Chihaya’s central themes is that she doesn’t know how to express herself at least in words and has a difficulty forming connections with people.

That’s why she clings to Karuta because it makes it easier for her to connect. However, I’m not too too mad that Chihaya still continues to have difficulty expressing herself. She told Taichi she loved him with a simple “I love you” and she rejects Arata with “I am dating Taichi”. Though simple, in both cases they clearly express Chihaya’s feelings.

That brings us to the whole thing of people being like “BUT SHE WROTE ARATA POEMS!!!” Like it’s some kind of GOTCHA that Chihaya always loved Arata and the author “forgot” INSTEAD OF IT BEING PURPOSEFUL? The point was her poetry was VERY BAD and that she still even there couldn’t express how she was feeling very well. SHE COULDN’T WRITE A POEM.

So while Chihaya has grown it is not so on the nose that by the time she leaves high school she is a perfectly articulated person with an elegance to with her words… Sometimes that is a struggle you work on for your entire life. The point is she has grown from the start, instead of forgetting Arata’s confession for like what was it 6 months? She makes sure to tell him the minute she sees him in person. Eyyyoo. Also she continued to reflect on her feelings and thought about love not just being the person you want to play in Karuta but something more profound.

I also think the bond that Chihaya and Arata shared was about as clear as the bond Taichi and Chihaya shared. Chihaya never explicitly discussed how important Taichi was to her to him EVEN IN HER CONFESSION… so why should she have to tell Arata that he’s important???

Then there was this idea that Chihaya needed to “earn” back Arata’s friendship after rejecting him (by telling him of his importance). DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?? You said Taichi shouldn’t have quit the club, he should have suffered through it and not received a single thing from Chihaya but yeah Chihaya needed to EARN Arata’s friendship. BE SERIOUS LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND THEN REFLECT ON YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS!! I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU NO MORE.

Like there is just so many double standards for the way people wanted Arata to be treated vs. how they were cool with the way that evil villain Taichi was treated.

TL;DR

Arata did not need a private conversation with Chihaya where she reassured him of his worth as her friend or their platonic love. It parallels the simple way Chihaya communicated her feelings with Taichi. Arata did however need to be given time to “grow up” but it did actually happen in the bonus chapter. We see how the three of them have mended their friendship despite going down different paths- they are united though Karuta. I do think there is some merit to the idea that Arata’s rejection would benefit from a few more pages of set up so the tone wouldn’t be so comedic.

Overall there are some flaws in how Arata’s rejection was executed but nothing that breaks the story. Unless you were very invested in the seriousness of Arata’s feelings of love. You guys said you can’t find your soulmate at 18 you know that applies for Chiharata too right??

I’m crying because I’ve only really broken down two points of criticism and yet I’ve been talking shit for so long. SO unfortunately there will be a part 2 to this discussion that I will write /someday/ because I have only just scratched the surface. Just it probably won’t happen very soon because I AM TIRED GRANDPA.

But if you do want to see it like you’re gonna have to respond to this wall of text otherwise I won’t do it this took me so fking long LMAO.

SPECIAL THANKS TO @/AIMEEEFACE ON TWITTER FOR BOUNCING IDEAS AND I MAY HAVE INCORPORATED SOME OF HER THOUGHTS HERE ON MANY OCCASIONS

Thanks Charles Outty

#chihayafuru #Chihayafuru manga #chihayafuru spoilers #chihaya ayase #taichihaya #chihayafuru thoughts #taichi mashima #Chihayafuru ending #Chihayafuru ch 247 #manga #arata wataya

[minaharkers]

OC TAG GAME ｡*･♡;

tagged by @aragorngf to categorize my ocs and make them in this picrew by crowsen!!  

♡ FAVORITE OC. (At the moment) 

Lukas Warren — Fallout: New Vegas

This was cruel to make me pick between all of my kids but I think Lukas at the moment is always kicking around my head — my sweet boy my poor little meow meow. I have so much in my head about his relationship with his family both the complicated horror story that is his family and his adopted ghoul mom Majorie and how much that really shaped his worldview <3

♡ NEWEST OC.

Caroline Clarke — Various

Cara my beloved!! She’s my OC for a post-apocalyptic RP group I’m in and I love her sm <3 She’s a hunter from West Virginia who’s still trying to getting used to living in a (somewhat) civilized part of Boston after living in the literal Appalachian woods for a solid three years with her brother. I’m excited to write with her more !! She’s a sweet person but is still sort of closed off after so much has happened 

♡ OLDEST OC.

Aerie — The Elder Scrolls V: Skryim

Aerie is definitely one of my oldest ocs!! Skyrim was really one of the first rpgs I played and honestly I feel like she’s both gone through so many iterations but also stayed pretty consistent!! We love a wild girlie who the universe had to make her a short nord to balance out the whole dragon soul thing

♡ MEANEST OC.

Ethan Warren — Fallout: New Vegas

Some people deal with their issues in all sorts of ways; Ethan decided to deal with it by razing his hometown to the ground <3 Having his father be burned instead of crucified like the Legion normally would to not give him the satisfaction of dying like jesus is understandable given what an awful person Richard Warren was, but joining the Legion and staying for years is a bad move maybe 🤔

♡ SOFTEST OC. 

Merethel Lavellan — Dragon Age: Inquisition

This was tough between Merethel and Ophelia but I think he’s someone who’s got a quiet compassion to him. The role of inquisitor does chafe on him a lot with him being more comfortable behind the scenes and being with people one on one as a healer. But I think people tend to underestimate how intelligent he is at first with his gentle nature, because he definitely learns how to play the “game” of politics in his own right by the time of Trespasser (even if he is very eager to get rid of the Inquisitor title).

♡ MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC. 

Endaryn Ravel — The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

Even before he lost his place at the Arcane University in Cyrodiil after being booted to Morrowind because the Emperor Said So (rip 😔) , Endaryn is someone who just wants to be left alone to study!! And stuff KEEPS happening to him and he just wants to finish his thesis can he please stop getting weird dream messages from Dagoth Ur

♡ DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC. 

Leondas Vendicci — The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

It’s not that he’s dumb, he just lacks any and all self-preservation or self-respect! <3 Jk, but Leondas is definitely the guy who acts first and thinks about it later when he realizes the consequences. A fuck around and find out kind of guy, you might say. But yeah, definitely the type to run into Oblivion portals without much of a plan. But he’s MY favorite dumbass so it’s okay

♡ SMARTEST OC.

Ophelia Faye — Fallout: 3

WOMEN! IN! STEM! Ophelia’s definitely the most intelligent; (I did actually give her a 10 in her Intelligence SPECIAL score). But I would say it’s pretty much all like science and medicine based intellect, and she’s the most comfortable in a lab or med bay than out in the Wasteland.

♡ OC YOU’D LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH IRL.

Euurydia Daeron — Star Wars: The Old Republic

I have NO idea if Dia and I would actually hang out IRL but she’d be the most fun to hang out with. She’s the perfect extrovert to adopt an introvert like me and talk my ear off and convince me to try one drink and suddenly it’s 2 am and we’ve been cantina hopping in the Lower Promenade on Nar Shaddaa for hours

tagging: @statichvm @chuckhansen @denerims @indorilnerevarine @risingsh0t @leviiackrman @florbelles @unholymilf @fashionablyfyrdraaca

#this was so fun!!! thank you for tagging me #ocs #oc: lukas #oc: caroline #oc: aerie #oc: ethan #oc: merethel #oc: endaryn #oc: leondas #oc: ophelia #oc: dia

[ticklishsubbyjamie]

TRIGGER WARNING - CONTAINS VERY PERSONAL AND VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS SEVERE DEPRESSION AND TRAUMA, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

This is the real me, these are my true everyday thoughts.

The last thing I ever want to do is trauma dump anyone, but I need to release my pent up emotions somewhere. Please take the warning above seriously if this type of stuff makes you uncomfortable. I'm going on a sad and angry rant purely about local people i know in real life, NOT about anyone i talk to on tumblr, I genuinely love you. There will be very aggresive language. I'm posting this because this blog is my safe space and frankly i need somewhere to say what i'm about to say without paying for therapy.

I'm trying my best. I really am. It may not look it but i am. Me eating even 100 calories in a day, or waking up in the morning, is the best i have to give right now.

I am so far gone i don't even understand what's happening. I'm so fucking tired of life and don't know how much i can take anymore.

Tired of life-or-death level family trauma. I love them with all my heart and eternally grateful for the good they've provided to me, but can't ignore the bad either. They have ripped me apart, between being the golden child who's supposed to become a doctor and save the family, to the marriage counsellor/therapist for my parents, the lighting rod for my older brothers countless reckless idiotic actions, the suicide threats from family and friends and tearing myself apart trying to keep them alive, I can't take it anymore.

Tired of feeling hopeless, tired of feeling insecure about being 23 and still not having any sexual experience whatsoever because my attention was on my family and grades instead of living my life. Tired of watching the girls i fall so deeply in love in end up dating my closest friends it's fucking torture. It's pure fucking torture. I'm tired of telling people how i feel about still being single and told that being single is the best as if it isn't the most invalidating thing they could possibly say. Try never having any experience for your whole life, including never having your first kiss and tell me how you feel watching all your friends talk about their love lives, or having to watch it everyday knowing that it's something you'll never have.

Tired of walking around dead inside, tired of wearing a fake smike until i come home and crumble apart and pick myself back up the next morning to make it through the day, tired of losing interest in activities i used to be passionate about, tired of pretending like everything is ok, tired of constant doubt, tired of feeling the most depressed on christmas, new years, my birthday, pretty much any day that should be celebratory. Tired of the fact that everything i try to be happy doesn't work. I tried to gym consistently for 4 months, healthy diet, full time job, take care of myself, i can't anymore.

Graduating college very soon and all i can think about is how i became a shell of myself in those 4 years when i always dreamed about how college would be the place where i'd become the most happy and free. Instead it was disappointment and constant heart break over and over, from a straight A student aspiring to become a doctor to just trying to stay alive wondering what's the point...

I'm still trying my best

#personal