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khwxbeeda · 5 months

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The Almost Wedding: Ch. III

Ch 1 || Ch 2

Arjun stared out the window as the car raced down the road, deliberately keeping his eyes off of Tanishka, whose fingers were gripping the steering wheel tightly in the periphery of his vision. The night was no longer young— it was well past midnight, and the lights gleaming in the windows of the high-rise buildings almost looked like stars against the pitch black sky.

In the back seat, Chaitanya was lying down, headphones in and eyes closed. Arjun had no idea if he was awake or not, and he did not particularly care at the moment. Right now, he was focused on making sure his attention was focused anywhere but Tanishka.

“Arjun.”

His lip twitched, but he did not move his gaze from the window.

“Arjun, look at me.”

He scoffed and flicked his wrist in a dismissive gesture, suppressing a wince when the back of his fingers smacked against the door handle. “I don’t really want to do that, right now.”

Tanishka exhaled through her nose in a way that she had been doing since they were kids, like she was exhausted and annoyed at the same time, and Arjun bit his tongue, pushing down the irrational wave of his own annoyance that rose up in his throat. “Arjun, just listen to me, please.”

He raised his eyebrows, then folded his arms across his chest and turned around to face her with the most mulish expression he could muster. “Fine. Talk.”

Tanishka huffed and looked back at the road, letting a car overtake before she spoke. “What was that, back there?”

Arjun furrowed his brow, even though he had a feeling that he knew where this conversation was going, and that he was not going to like it. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Tai.”

Tanishka scoffed, and the car lurched forward before slowing down a little, like she had accidentally pressed the accelerator. “What was the…” she smacked her lips together in contemplation— “motivation, shall we say, behind asking Mahajan to flirt with my boyfriend?”

Arjun blinked. "I didn’t ask him to flirt with Chaitanya.”

Tanishka raised an eyebrow, but did not turn to look at him. When she spoke, her soft voice was dripping with disdain. “Ah, so you’re saying he did it of his own volition.”

He rolled his eyes and relaxed into his seat, turning back to stare out the window. Some of the buildings really were ridiculously tall, he thought absently. “No,” he said, tone heavily implying exactly how stupid he thought she was being, and relished in the narrow-eyed glare that was sent his way. “I’m saying that he wasn’t flirting at all.”

Tanishka’s head whipped around. Arjun could feel her incredulous stare burning into the side of his head, and bit the inside of his cheek to hide his smile.

“… You're fucking with me right now.”

He shook his head, lips twitching. “No, I’m not.”

Hilariously, he really was not.

“Bullshit.”

“No, I swear I’m not,” he said, losing the battle against his mirth and aiming a grin at his sister. She did not smile back. “Krushna is just like that. Almost everything he says comes off as flirty, when he’s just trying to make a good impression. He doesn’t even realise that he’s coming off as flirty half the time.”

“Well then,” she said curtly, turning back to the road and gripping the steering wheel tighter as a car overtook them, “tell him he can stop trying to make a good impression on Chaitanya.”

Arjun blinked, his smile becoming wooden around the edges. He stared at Tanishka for a few seconds. “… what?”

“He’s made a fabulous enough impression, I think,” she replied, consonants becoming firmer and more clipped as her Indian accent slipped out between her pseudo-American drawl, tone covered in icy irritation. “Chaitanya was properly charmed. He doesn’t need to try anymore.”

Arjun could not stop staring. His stomach churned, and a sour taste filled his mouth, seeping into his taste buds till his disgust was the only thing he could feel. “I can’t believe this.”

“What?” She sounded so… so blasé. Like she did not care about what she was implying or what she came across as.

“What— what are you—“ he scrambled for the proper words for a few moments, disgust quickly beginning to bleed into outrage. He turned a harsh glare onto her, feeling the tiny spark of his outrage blaze into a proper angry fire when she did not even bother to give him the courtesy of her full attention, and scoffed. “Do you think— do you think Krushna’s gonna try to steal Chaitanya from you or something?”

Tanishka jerked, and the car swerved, making Arjun slam into the door before they got back onto course. “That is not—”

“Oh my God, it is!”

Tanishka whipped around and glared at him, hazel eyes identical to his flashing angrily in the glow of the headlights from the vehicles driving on the opposite side. “It is not—”

“You’re unbelievable!” Arjun threw his hands up and turned away, the sudden childish urge of not wanting to see Tanishka’s face winning before he even had the chance to fight against it. “I cannot believe you right now.”

“Arjun, it’s not what you—”

He whipped back around, hair flicking against the headrest of his seat. “Think?” he hissed, venom dripping from his words. "Please tell me, oh dear sister, what this actually is, ‘cause it sounds like you’re trying to say something really fucking rude about my best friend.”

Tanishka let out a groan between gritted teeth, but did not look away from the road, half her focus on overtaking a car in front of them. “I just don’t want Mahajan near my fiancé, alright?”

Arjun snorted. “Why, cause you think he’s gonna turn Chaitanya gay or something?”

Tanishka turned to him, a half-offended, half-incredulous expression on her face. He scoffed; as if she had the right to be outraged. “Are you serious— I do not think that!”

“Then what do you think, Tanu Tai?” he said, voice rising in volume. God, he was sick of this conversation. “M.S in Neurosurgery doesn't have courses on mind reading.”

Tanishka looked at him blankly, then turned back to the road with a harsh exhale. Her fingers flexed around the steering wheel as she took a turn into the deeper part of the city. Immediately, the traffic around them doubled, and she changed gears. “I don’t have the time for your sarcasm right now.”

“Then bloody well make time for it,” Arjun snapped, “and explain to me exactly what you’ve got against my best friend.”

Tanishka ground her teeth together, braking when a bike suddenly swerved into a U-turn in front of them. Arjun’s hand shot out to press against the dashboard so he would not slam his head into it. He glared pointedly at the side of Tanishka’s head, and she growled.

“Fine,” she snapped back. “Fine. You wanna hear what I’ve got against him?”

“Yes,” he said stubbornly.

“He’s arrogant, condescending, malicious, and straight up hateful,” she spat out. The line of her shoulders had risen, and frustration was etched into every inch of her makeup covered face. Arjun opened his mouth to interfere, but she kept on speaking, growing louder and louder with every word. “He’s hated me since the day you’ve been friends with him, and I don’t want him in my wedding simply because I dislike him. This has nothing to do with anyone’s sexual preference—”

He scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“It’s not!” Her head shook firmly, sending carefully curled brown hair flying. Arjun sat back and raised an eyebrow, and she huffed, upper lip curling into an expression filled with loathing. “I don’t care that he’s— what, bi or pan, I don’t know, and I don’t care enough about him to find out. This isn’t about his romantic affairs, it’s about me not wanting to have someone I can’t tolerate for more than five seconds at my wedding.”

“I don’t believe you, funnily enough,” Arjun said coolly.

Tanishka breathed out through her nose and twisted the steering wheel, taking a U-turn. “You’re impossible.”

Arjun blinked and raised both eyebrows, tilting his chin down to stare her down even as his throat ached with how hard he was clenching his jaw. “I’m not the one who has a history of hating people like me and Krushna, Tanu Tai.”

Tanishka sucked in a sharp breath, hazel eyes flashing like she was about to say something equally hurtful in retaliation, but she bit down on the inside of her cheek and twisted her lips into a grimace.

“And,” Arjun continued, voice strained with something he was not in the mood for identifying, “Krushna is a lot of things, but he is not a homewrecker. He has a lot of flaws like every other person, but he hates cheating in relationships no matter who’s doing it, and I’d appreciate it if you did not insult him by even thinking of him like that.”

He turned away, pressing his forehead to the cool glass of the window, swallowing around the red-hot ball of anger in his throat. Just fifteen more minutes, he told himself, and he would be in his room, away from her. Just fifteen more minutes.

In the backseat of the car, Chaitanya slowly opened his eyes, teeth digging into his bottom lip and rolling it around.

He stared at the back of Tanishka’s seat, a tornado of thoughts swirling in his mind as he ran through the argument he had just overheard. A sick sort of feeling was starting to grow in his guts, and his skin itched, like it was an uncomfortable fit over his flesh. He swallowed, then forced himself to relax his shoulders, and pressed play on his phone.

The violin intro of a familiar song filled his ears, and he closed his eyes, trying not to think about everything that Arjun had said.

— — — — — —

It was ridiculously cold, as was expected of a winter day.

Arjun sat on the driver’s seat of his car with his knees pulled up to his chest, brown hair clipped back with hot pink barrettes that clashed horribly with the violently bright orange Camp Half Blood T-shirt he was wearing, the air conditioner turned up to twenty-seven degree Celsius and aimed right at his face. He was flipping the pages of the thick textbook he had open against the steering wheel, muttering ominously under his breath as he pushed up the wire-rimmed round glasses that had slid down his nose.

Krushna sat in the front passenger’s seat, legs folded into Swastikasana and face covered with a sheet mask, fiddling with his laptop and camera. His hair was knotted into a messy bun on top of his head, and he was dressed in a pastel blue hoodie with grey sweatpants covered in splatters of ink and paint from his many experiments in art and craft.

It had been half an hour since they had arrived at the Pune International Airport. Outside, the sky was a bleak grey and dotted with clouds, and the entrance to the airport was packed with even more people than it usually was— courtesy of the winter holidays. Children ran around, bags were dragged and trolleys were moved, yells and airport announcements came muffled through the closed windows of their car.

Krushna sighed and set the camera down, already sick of staring at the screen of his laptop. He looked up and checked the clock on the dashboard— twenty minutes past five. Fifteen minutes since Rukmini’s flight had landed, and yet he could see neither hide nor hair of his elder sister.

Beside him, Arjun let out a frustrated sound and repeatedly banged his head back against the headrest of his seat till one of the barrettes slid out of his hair and onto his shoulder. He picked it up and put it back in place with a huff, eyebrows pinched together.

“Rao,” he sighed, and Krushna raised his eyebrows in a silent question. “How much longer till she’s here? I have a test sakali, and I’m not done with my studies.”

As if on cue, the back door of the car opened, and a white tote bag was thrown onto the seat. Amid the increased volume of the people, a familiar voice rang out. “Yo, losers! Get the dikki open— I have a lot of luggage here.”

Krushna and Arjun exchanged a look and turned around with matching wide grins aimed at the woman who had poked her head in through the door, her sunglasses pushed up into her short, wavy hair to expose bright silver eyes identical to Krushna’s. A dark red smirk curved up her full lips and a pashmina scarf was wrapped around her neck, the soft cream colour matching her woollen sweater and contrasting beautifully against her dark skin.

“Hi, Ruku Tai,” the boys chorused, and the woman’s smirk widened. “Hola, mi hermanos. Arjunie, open the damn dikki. I have like, three bags here and they’re all fucking heavy.”

Ah yes, the infamous potty mouth of the infamous Rukmini Mahajan— public figure, your standard cool girl, fashion influencer, and twenty-six year old heiress of Mahajan Enterprises. Krushna sniggered, reaching behind him to slap her wrist, and yelped when he received a smack upside the head in retaliation. Arjun flicked the lock for the car boot, and Rukmini quickly piled her bags in before sliding into the back seat and slamming the door shut.

“Where’s Aai?” she asked, and Krushna simply rolled his eyes in lieu of an answer. Rukmini sighed and copied the gesture, pulling off her sunnies and sticking them to the belt loop of her trousers. “Right. Forget I asked. Which apartment are we staying at?”

Krushna shook his head. “Nope. We’re staying at the Wada.”

“Sweet. Also,” she paused to make sure that she had both their attention, then grinned. It was an extremely familiar grin, and Krushna immediately sat up straight and exchanged an anticipatory look with Arjun, who knew all too well what could ensue if Rukmini followed whatever train of thought was running through her brain.

“You didn’t tell me you made a new friend.”

Krushna groaned at the teasing waggle of her eyebrows, the frustration already building between his eyes. Gods fuck, he should have known the first thing out of his older sister’s mouth would be a teasing comment. He should have known. It was not like she was going to magically switch personalities over the two months she had spent in Spain. Really, why had he expected anything else?

“Ae bai, shanta bas ki,” he said, and both Rukmini and Arjun sniggered. Krushna pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, trying to convey as much frustration as he could in that gesture. The idiots only laughed louder, and he exhaled, lips reluctantly curling into an annoyed smile. “I’ve met Chaitanya a total of one—“ he held up the corresponding number of fingers— ”time. One. Une fois, c'est tout. You can barely call that an acquaintance, let alone a friend, Ruku Tai.”

She opened her mouth, no doubt ready to say something instigating, going off the shit-eating gleam in her eyes, but he shot her a sharp look and she subsided with a put-upon sigh.

“Ugh, you’re no fun, Krush,” she sighed. Arjun nodded and hummed sympathetically from where he was busy starting up the car, and Krushna gave both of them the most betrayed look he could muster up. A second later, they all giggled, and Arjun changed the gear, reversing out of the parking spot and heading towards the airport gates.

A second of silence, and Rukmini patted the boys on the head, one more smirk growing on her sharp features. “So,” she said, “How much trouble are we giving Tanishka?”

The boys blinked blankly at her for a second. Then, Arjun cackled, and a slow grin crept up on Krushna’s face.

Taglist: @orgasming-caterpillar @budugu @musaafir-hun-yaaron @natures-marvel @girlatreus @kanha-sakhi @krisnosura @h0bg0blin-meat @hum-suffer (lmk if you want to be added/removed)

#the almost wedding #arjun deshpande #krushna mahajan #chaitanya kulkarni #original characters #orginal story #original writing #chaptered fic #amrut writes #desi tag #desiblr #desi tumblr #romance #romcom #romance comedy #romantic comedy

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nemesis0001 · 2 years

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Sophie Hatter

"In the land of Ingary where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of the three. Everyone knows you are the one who will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes."

Howl's Moving Castle Trilogy by Diana Wynne Jones

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cemyafilmarsiv · 13 days

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Love, Divided directed by Patricia Font

#Love Divided #cinema #Patricia Font #romance comedy

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jackie-elysium · 3 months

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(500) Days of Summer

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nirbanox · 1 year

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Love Exposure (2008)

Directed by Sion Sono

#love exposure #sion sono #Hikari Mitsushima #Sakura Ando #takahiro nishijima #romance comedy #Comedy #Asian movies #japanese cinema #jmovie #movie screencaps #2000s #cap #film #cinema #movies #愛のむきだし #Ai no mukidashi #hate trilogy

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keythekeythekey · 13 days

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I read "Maybe Akira-kun, Maybe Akira-chan" and I am kind of let down by it. It was definitely wayyyy too short.

However the author wanted it that way so all I can say is that in my opinion there was much more potential in this romcom.

Over all it was kinda mid. I thought I am going to love it since it has queer themes but I was kinda whatever about it. A shame since I bought physical copies of it.

#Maybe Akira-kun Maybe Akira-chan #shoujo #romcom #lgbtq romcom #romance comedy #keythekeythekey #manga #manga and anime #manga recommendation #otaku #comic books #manga screencap #manga scan #manga screenshots

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maguro13-2 · 25 days

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Tohru and Her not-so Lesbian friends

Tohru : Hey, guys. You think that we've known each other since the 2000s and I feel like that you two are Lesbians. What's so weird about that?

Arisa : Well, we just had to make a profitable change on our advisory because were running down on the Beverley Hills Cup.

Saki : It's our agent from Tokyo, we had some no go on the Lesbian schedule in the county of PBC, Florida. Everyone believes that were lesbians to you, just except that I was falling in love with a dumbass. But I have no idea whatever that's gonna costs us for the absolute reason for the show.

Tohru : Umm, nothing bit too much about it. You sure you have a better solution then your lesbian problems? I know any place for Lesbians to hang out. You could eventually go to Fort Lauderdale, Atlanta, Boston, or even Vermont, that place is Lesbian Friendly. Do you know something about why the writers are making you a Heteorsexual, it's like, it's vanilla over and over again, why they make you a heterosexual to a man that doesn't even know about you being a lesbian? Do I make myself clear of that? If fans are worried about you being lesbian to Arisa, then I'm gonna come over and say that to my face!

Arisa : Gee, I don't know, Tohru, That's a real reason why fans were hungry for yuri and lesbianism, they just wanted to get some attraction to every girl that is gayer on the planet, it's not like it's the end of the world thing. Just to remind you that being a lesbian is our number one superiority. And besides, we give you this necklace from our second honeymoon.

Saki : It's a gift from us.

Tohru : Thanks guys. I wouldn't appreciate this much to you as it appreciate this to us, I would never let my pals turn down and make it an official statement to sobriety! So lay it on me, Amigos. I have no comment to see your precious gift from your second honeymoon.

Saki : Alright here. (Gives Tohru a bloody knife)

Tohru : What? What is this in my hand that you're giving it to me?

Saki : It's a knife that Arisa borrowed me from our second honeymoon.

Tohru : Like did you really killed someone for the writers making you heterosexual?

Saki : Sure did. I just killed the man that I married to. To make sure to tell the writers what pieces of sh** made fans angry that I was married to a guy that I did not even met!

Tohru : I think that's a second-degree man slaughter.

Arisa : Not it wasn't. We just had to clear the evidence and made it safer in order to make us your parents! Who's the idiot laughing now? I got the writers what they deserve to make me a freaking heterosexual!

Tohru : And why is that?

Saki : Because I just hate men. That's what I do. I'm still going with the lesbian thing anyway and it's really kicking it up a notch. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen? (hears police sirens wailing)

Police Officer : (on megaphone) The Three of you freeze! Put your hands up in the air where we can seem them!

Tohru : Officers, wait! We can explain! I'm innocent! Not me! We would never do such a thing and...(Realizing) Wait, did somebody called the cops on us?

Saki : Probably my husband that he called the police after he realizes that I'm still a lesbian.

Arisa : It was totally worth it.

Tohru : (scoffs) You guys are such major assholes to me. Can't believe that the fans were so angry because the writers had to make you a heterosexual to a married man which you slaughtered and that's the real reason the people of Japan are arrogant and we feel like that were just a bunch of idiots that got us into this mess that we made! So now that your husband has called the fuzz after you and Arisa attacked him, what does Johnny Law gonna do to us now, put us behind bars?

(cuts to the three at prison and are wearing orange uniforms)

Tohru : Oh, way to go, Mrs. Lesbian! They just had to do that for no reason, I get worked up on something real good after you just killed someone for being a heterosexual.

Saki : Well I'm sorry that the writers didn't listen anyway, so I was furious and to put the blame on our author, that is literally stupid for them after we found out that no one makes shows like us in the 2000s anymore. Got any ideas?

Arisa : I thought that you would never stand a chance. Just to make it so obvious we could get a major let down. So, what are we gonna do now after we committed a second-degree manslaughter?

Saki : Bro, what are we in here for anyway? We have ran out of ideas and we got nothing to worry about, it's a thing in the past, don't get that idea of yours in your head. Just think outside the box and fresh it out, why don't ya?

Arisa : As long as we have each other, we could work things out. Totally getting my grip on after they're serving us with all that prison food wasn't just my habit of goodwill. That is literally me for taking any showers at prison like this.

Tohru : Then don't drop the soap, cause I don't really care anymore.

Saki : Drop the soap is a game in prison, that's how stuff works when you are in the showers, don't drop the soap.

Arisa : Man, it's tough for us to be in a situation like this. I don't know how that's ever gonna happen to us.

Saki : So does this mean we get to be together forever?

Arisa : Of course, until we go to hell for this.

Tohru : Why did i even bother listenting to you guys? I hope I could really last this after my boyfriend broke up with me. I knew I should've been a Picnic Basket girl.

[Game Over (NSMB WII ver.) - Koji Kondo]

[Iris out]

~ THANKS A LOT, SAKI AND ARISA! ~

#fruits basket #tohru honda #saki hanajima #arisa uotani #tms entertainment #comedy #dark comedy #funny #humor #dark humor #romance comedy #shoujo

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xtwinfantasy · 1 year

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Dream About Me

(Chapter 6) (Mason Mount/Kai Havertz)

pairing: Mason Mount / Kai Havertz (m/m)

summary: The team had its best season in a long time; qualification for European tournaments was almost in Chelsea FC's hands. The problems came right at the end of the season, when their young star player had to leave training due to the sudden death of his father, and when came back, he seemed to lose all his ability on the ball, as well as the person he used to be.

Mason starts the next season trying to get his life back on track and put the pain of that summer behind him, but everything changes when Chelsea's newest player, Kai Havertz, appears in his life. And in his dreams too… Is he dreaming?

Now, his new teammate will flip his world upside down in the craziest ways he could have ever imagined.

tags: Slow burn romance, Crush at first sight, Eventual fluff, Romantic comedy, Awkward flirting, Dreams (or not?), Late night conversations, References to depression, Grief/Mourning, Psychological drama, Drama & romance, kinda AU but not really, Mysterious Kai lol, Additional Tags to Be Added.

Start reading on:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

CHAPTER 6

—I think I'm still scared to be alone —he said. Despite the noise outside, the sound of Jack's computer, the chirping of birds and the distant whistle on the youth teams' pitches, Mason felt as if his voice was echoing through the room in the silence. Jack seemed more observant after that statement.

—What do you mean by that? Mentally?

—Literally. I don't... I don't want to be alone yet. I thought I was past that stage where I was too afraid of having to be alone with my thoughts, but, uh... last week something bad happened again.

—What happened?

—I… —he sighed, averting his gaze to the side. There, in the corner of the table, a small artificial plant stood always on Jack's left side; static, without any trace of life— Uh... I was doing my hygiene routine, I wasn't feeling well, but... I think at some point my thoughts started to get too bad and suddenly I had to move away from the bathroom because it all started to get too unbearable. My thoughts, my feelings, the things I was remembering and what I was thinking, everything... it was unbearable, and it hurt so much. Literally, it was very painful.

—Was it a pain that you felt somatically?

—Yes, it was, in a way. I don't like that feeling because... it makes my chest and throat hurt in a way that really makes me suffer. I don't like to suffer. I think... it's always been very difficult for me to deal with it.

—I understand that. That's very comprehensible —he nodded slowly, looking him calmly in the eye—. Mason... What exactly are you afraid of?

—Being alone.

—No, I mean, what are you afraid of when you're alone? What's the worst consequence you fear from those thoughts you don't want to have when you're alone?

Mason stared intently at the plant sitting on Jack's office desk. The green leaves drooped motionlessly from the thick trunk on which they were held, the one that started on grey rocks inside a transparent container. Morning light streamed in through the window and illuminated the side of his arm and the desk. Without realising it, his fingers were insistently walking over the armrest of the chair he was sitting in.

—Uh... I don't know. Well, I'm sure I don't want to die, I've never wanted to die and... I don't think suicide has ever been a possibility, I've always been aware that I'm actually afraid of death, but... I don't know. I think I just... I don't like living like this, I don't like things hurting and having to live in pain. I want to live, sure, but I want to live well, you know? I don't like living in this precise situation, in this moment of my life.

—Would you say that at this precise moment you don't want to live, then?

—Uh, no, I wouldn't say that, it's... it's just that I want to... skip it. I wish I could fast forward through all this, because I know that one day it will stop hurting, right? Someday I'll stop crying for my dad and missing him so much, someday the urge to turn back time will go away. Someday the team will be better and I'll go back to playing like I used to, and my mum will go back to enjoying life and I won't have to worry about this, right? I just... I just wish I could skip my life to that part. Not have to live through all this.

Jack nodded again, sympathetically and calmly, though he proceeded to make quick notes on his laptop.

—What's the worst thing that could happen when you have these crises? I mean, clearly you're not thinking about taking your life, but it seems clear to me also that there's something you're afraid of when you wish you could avoid it. Right now, you wish you could avoid this point in your life. Why? What is it that you wish you could ''jump over''?

He thought about it. He thought about it in silence for a while during which the ideas in his head did not allow him to look anywhere else besides the small garden behind the window of that office. It took him almost two minutes to organise his thoughts enough to be able to speak again.

—Well, I think it's... the suffering. The suffering of it, of suffering so much when you love a person you will never see again, or never live again the moments that were beautiful. I would like to avoid feeling the pain I feel from missing my dad so much, and from all the problems that his death caused. The problems with money, the paperwork at the moment, the psychological treatment of all my family, especially the depression my mum is still in. The pain of not being able to help her to be well again and the uncertainty of losing her too, I mean, I know you said it's not my responsibility or my burden, but... all this pain, I wish I just... didn't feel it, that it would stop hurting now.

—Pain is something we naturally avoid, Mason —Jack added—. It's something that puts our bodies on alert and it's uncomfortable. Wanting to avoid it is quite normal, but you really have a problem with pain, and you've noticed that, haven't you?

—That's why I have anxiety attacks when I remember all those things that hurt so much, isn't it? I just want to get away from it as fast as I can —he spoke half-heartedly.

—You're too afraid of suffering, and that can be due to many factors, but I think it's crucial how much you seek efficiency. And, come on, I know we're in a football team and the sport demands quick recovery and immediate hard work, but that's not how the mind works, Mason. Pain naturally induces anxiety, but in your case it's not just anxiety, it's also a strong sense of sadness. You know this is a long process, depression is something that takes time and treatment isn't magic, but you're taking small steps, okay?

—I know. Uh, I can acknowledge that I'm making progress... slowly. And that fact is a little insufferable at times.

—Well, patience is key. And I must say that, in fact, in times of uncertainty and fear, patience and serenity are more than just virtues; they are survival weapons. You have to survive while this process is going on, and remember that in this life it is completely normal not to be well all the time, and it is valid to simply survive while you still don't feel well.

He remained silent after that statement, staring at a fixed point without really thinking about more than those last words.

It was hard to understand, and the reality was that he didn't want to survive: he wanted to live well, like before all things changed, but that wasn't as simple as he would have liked it to be. Turning back time was sometimes a fervent urge again, though it gradually became less of a recurring thought and the reality of its impossibility became more settled in his life. Still, when he thought about it so much, sometimes smiling again without a piece of his heart seemed impossible.

—Yes. Well, I've survived the whole summer... I think I'm starting to finally see signs of improvement, at least in me.

—Uh, well, actually —Jack said, settling back in his chair— your message said you wanted to talk to me about something 'exciting' today —he quoted—. I hope it's something positive, since the session still gives us a few minutes to talk about it.

Mason also stirred in his seat as he remembered the text he'd sent with trembling hands that night, when Kai had shown up at his flat for the third time, after he'd left and Mason had seen him coming down the stairs about a week ago.

—Oh, yeah, well... about that... Uh...

Probably having pondered his words for a few seconds worried the psychologist enough to make him speak hastily again.

—Well, uh, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, you know this is a safe and confidential space. Actually, I don't know exactly if you want to talk about it still, I should've asked that —he said, nodding slightly as he typed a couple of words into his computer—. Would you like to talk about it in session or...?

—Oh, no, no, no, don't worry! Actually I, well, I think I do want to talk about it but, well, uh... it's kind of... kind of complicated —he explained, searching his mind for the words that would make it all make more sense.

—Don't worry, take your time,—he knew that wasn't true. The session didn't have all the time, but Jack was always very kind at his job.

—Well, it's just, I've been... uh, I've, I've been talking to Kai Havertz, you know?

—One of the new guys —he nodded.

—Yeah, exactly, uh... well, but, the thing is, we've been talking at night, but, literally. I mean, actually, what happened was… —he sighed. Facing him, Grealish looked patient with his words, though unlike himself— uh, last week, the day they showed up, I went home after training and when I was going to sleep, well, maybe I could sleep for a few minutes, but after that I... I heard a noise downstairs, in the kitchen, like someone had come in through the window, and then I went downstairs and... there he was.

—Kai Havertz?

—Yes, Kai Havertz —he nodded, confident in his answer but nervous as he continued the story—. He was there, in the kitchen. I thought it was a dream, and he said he wanted to talk to me and we talked, and I talked to him about my father and he talked to me a little bit too, and then I let him sleep in my room and I slept downstairs. And the next morning he wasn't there anymore.

Jack remained silent, waiting for him to continue, while Mason waited for a comment in return. Grealish broke the silence.

—So, did he leave?

—Yeah. Well, yeah, I guess, uh... but, then —he cleared his throat— the next day he came back, right after I went to bed. He was in my kitchen again, and we talked again, and I told him very personal things, and he told me personal things too, and I thought it was strange to have the same dream two days in a row, and to remember it so vividly, but the strange thing is… —he said, adjusting himself on the couch to rest his elbows on his legs— the next day I asked him about those things he told me here, at breakfast, and it was all true.

—Do you think you could elaborate on that bit? About it all being true.

—I mean... at night he told me a lot of personal details about him, and the next day I could see that those details were real. Have you seen the damn Keychain he's got in his backpack? The one with the donkey on it?

—No, uh, I haven't really been able to interact with him yet.

—Well, he has a donkey-shaped keychain, one I'd never seen before, and yet I knew he liked donkeys, and that his favourite one was named Ruhe. I also knew what that word meant when I've never learned a single bit of German in my life —he sighed, glancing to his side for a second before looking at his therapist again—. And, look, I know it could be a huge, huge coincidence, but, somehow, in the next 'dream' —he punctuated the quotation mark on that word— he told me the names of his brothers and a bunch of other things I'd have no way of knowing, and he told me he wasn't dreaming.

Jack nodded slowly after hearing him speak, staring straight ahead earnestly. He straightened his back before speaking again.

—Okay, so, we're not talking about dreams, then, are we? He's been... visiting you at night.

—Uh, I... I think so. I mean, on Wednesday last week I asked him about it and he said it wasn't a dream, that he just wanted to talk to me and now he does, in my flat, always at night; we talk for a couple of hours and he goes home... And that's it —he said, leaving time for a few seconds of silence.

—Well, could you tell me a bit more about that? About, you know, how you feel about it?

Mason sighed.

—I mean, honestly... I know this all sounds crazy and weird, and it is, but... well, to be honest, it doesn't really bother me. In fact, well, he's told me a couple of times that, if I'm bothered by all this, he's ready to stop, but I've told him that it doesn't need to, actually, I'm fine with it.

—So, this situation is not troublesome for you. All right?

—Exactly. It's baffling, that's all it is, it's baffling.

—Baffling. Have you talked to Kai about, well, the elephant in the room, about how this is quite a bit baffling?

—Uh, I... sort of, I mean, not really, but we've addressed it a little bit and, again, he said if I was uncomfortable with it at some point he could stop doing it, but, well, like I told you, actually I'm not. —he said, frowning slightly. He knew that his answer was perhaps a confusing statement, and he knew that knowing himself, it was not the way he would react to something like that at another point in his life, but he was being honest with himself, and truth was, in fact, the whole situation was far more exciting than it was problematic—. You know, actually, no, it doesn't bother me, I don't mind these visits at all, I mean... I think it's done me good, actually.

He might have only known Jack for a very short time, but despite that, Grealish always treated him with the utmost professionalism and Mason could feel how much he trusted him. As always, despite that confession, Jack's eyes were non-judgmental.

—I find this interesting, —he said—. I mean, you might think that a situation like this could be awkward, for a variety of reasons, but of course it could also be a good thing. Mason, I wish I could hear more about how these visits and this relationship with Kai makes you feel and if it's being a positive thing, but right now we're a little past the hour, —he lamented, pushing his computer further away to get up from his spot. Mason looked at the time on his phone: they were almost 10 minutes past the time their session was supposed to end, so he got up as well, picking up his backpack from the floor—. I'd like to end today's session with this, shall we start the next session with this topic?

—Oh, yes, sure, that's fine. You're right, I think we took a bit longer than we should have.

—No problem. See you next week, okay?—he said in farewell, offering his hand as they both stood by the door.

—Sure, uh, thanks —He said quickly to Jack.

READ THE ENTIRE CHAPTER HERE

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