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romana-after-dark · 1 year

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The Wrong Way: Chapter 4

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death

I don't wannt say special warnings for every chapter but I need y'all to know 1. It says in the warnings rape, not Joel 2. HEAVY HEAVY victim blaming that is NOT MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS and 3. oh my god, when I say graphic depictions of violence...... so much for this chapter. Like Joel describes torcher.

AN: I wrote a 12 page research paper last Friday through Tuesday, wrote a 3 paper essay Friday and TODAY I wrote 5 pages on Candide by Voltaire THEN hoped on here to write this all while battling a cold and taking finales. So if this sucks, please be nice, I still got another week of finals 🥺

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Things had greatly improved for you after that. Joel tended to the branding wound and despite being the one who gave it to you, it still had the effect you knew Joel intended; the intimacy it endeared him to you. Tommy, who had became your primary caregiver, also tended to the wound when Joel was too busy being… Joel… to take care of you. When Joel was too drunk, too angry, too busy killing raiding and asserting his authority to spend much more time with you besides sex and gentle touches after, Tommy was there, ready to swoop in. Sometimes Tommy changed the bandage very quickly after Joel, and you suspected it wasn’t because he thought you needed it, but more that he wanted to clean you of Joel, he wanted his bandaged wrapped around your thigh, his fingers trailing on the skin…

Joel, although not chatty, began to spend a little more time with you, not just fucking you. Well, he usually fucked you. But the routine of Joel coming back from a raid, rape you, and carefully bathing your trembling and shaken body has been exchanged for a new routine.

Joel comes home, he comes in the room carrying a bag or a box or just fighting a few items. Then he fucks you, of course, and you do your best to enjoy it. He makes you come, he always does, and hasn’t pushed the issue of kissing, then comes on you. The week you were ovulating and on your period, this was exchanged for blow jobs, and you had a chance to show what you actually knew how to do; pleasure men with your mouth. You could take a lot, when you were in control and you knew how to work a man when they weren’t beating you, and when you looked up at Joel, with your hands on his thighs thick as tree trunks, you knew you had him. Joel would then set up a bath, even if you just blew him, and carried you there and back, always, where he’d then sit quietly as you went through the few items he brought. Maybe a new shirt, curtains for the window that had been fixed but partially bordered up fix your escape, a book, nail polish, snacks… little things that slowly made your position livable.

Tommy didn’t bring you much, he couldn’t, you knew, without raising Joel’s suspicions, but he did spend time with you. Games of go-fish continued as did Uno when he found you a pack, and you slowly got to know bits and pieces more of his life pre-outbreak; a life you were too young to remember. He told you he watched his niece die the first day, and since you never heard mentions of other siblings, you assumed his niece was Joel’s daughter, and you couldn’t help feel sympathy for why Joel was the way that he was. All this had given you a sense of power you didn’t have before, and Nick was right that day on the porch; you had both of the Millers wrapped around your figure, to a certain extent.

And you got cocky.

Your bedroom door remained locked at all times, and it was Tommy who took you to the bathroom when needed. To get there, Tommy and you passed the living room as Tommy held your hand, and many times, Nick was in the living room, watching… Ever since you licked Joel’s neck, Nick became more blatant in his harassment. Once, you walked by, ever-attached to Tommy’s side, Nick was sitting down on a recliner, green eyes staring at you intently, and you watched as he palmed his erection while making direct eye contact. In response, you flipped him off.

“Nick, knock it off” Tommy barked at him, stepping between you as he guided you inside the bathroom and placing you on the other side of him when he walked you back, questioning you about the interaction.

“What the hell happened there?” He asked, the concern clear in his eyes. “He do something to yuh?”

You shake your head. “No, he’s just an asshole”

Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, he is. You’d tell me if he did, right?”

Joel asked you a similar question weeks ago, and you had wondered what it was, at the time, that made Joel think you would actually trust him, but it was clear that Joel had a different idea of what this relationship was. With Tommy, it was different. You would tell Tommy, and Tommy would tell Joel, and Joel would brutally hurt or kill them, depending on the offense.

“Joel left me alone with him the morning after…” You shift a bit, remembering what was done to you before things got better. Tommy’s face softened, but the guilt was there, so you continued on. “He said Joel would get tired of me, and when Nick gets his chance…” You don’t finish the threat, Tommy knew.

Tommy took your hand, he had been growing more and more physical lately. It was innocent; comforting. A reminder that Tommy was there, ever your protector. “I won’t let that happen. When Joel is done with you, I’ll help you. Get you somewhere safe.”

“But there's nowhere to go, Tommy! I can’t go home, my dad will just sell me off again, and my brother is dead, I have nowhere to go.”

Tommy hesitated before speaking. “Listen, you can’t ever tell Joel, but I got… some connections. A town you’ll be safe in. I promise.”

You wait for a moment before speaking, ever so quietly. “Can’t we… can’t we just go?”

The way Tommy looked at you, you instantly regretted asking that. Tommy looked so guilty, so sorry, that it physically hurt you to see the pain he was in. “I’m sorry, honey. I really am… but you’ve seen how Joel is with you, he’d never let you go. He’d come for you,”

“Wouldn’t he just buy someone else?” You felt bad, wanting to throw this onto someone else, but as good as things have gotten, you were still living on the edge, walking a thin line.

Tommy shook his head. “You don’t understand. You are the first girl Joel’s ever taken here, he doesn’t do this. He’s obsessed with you.”

“Lucky me”

Sighing, Tommy pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry this is happening to you, I really am. I don’t know how long you’ll be here but I promise you two things. One, I’m going to try and make this as easy on you as I can, and I’m gonna do my best to keep you safe, okay?” He waits until you nod before continuing. “But when all this is over, I ain’t lett’n them have you. I’ll take you to Jackson. Everything will be okay.”

You lean into him, his firm chest comforting you. “Will you come with me?”

Tommy didn’t have an honest answer. There were a lot of questions that would need to be answered, like what he and Maria were, if Joel would even let him go… but for now he wanted to pretend. “Yeah, I’ll go with you, sweetheart.”

You should have known not to get too comfortable, not with Tommy’s protection, with Joel’s change in behavior, and especially with your disgusted taunting on Nick. You should’ve known, or at least played your cards as if you knew Nick had something up his sleeve, his own way to blackmail you and effectively keep you from the Millers.

When you hear the door open, you assume it’s Joel and put down the book, prepared to service Joel. Instead, you see Nick in the doorway.

“JOEL!” You immediately yell, knowing Nick would regret evening coming to the room.

But Nick just laughs. “Joel’s gone, so is your little knight in shining armor.” He took a few steps forward in your small room, and you scramble back.

Tommy and Joel were gone… You try to push down your panic, attempting to keep yourself calm as you stand up. “So what now? You’re gonna keep threatening me, slap me round a bit? If you do anything, Joel will know, and you’ll be dead.”

Nick’s only reply is to grab your hair and slam you against the wall, pressing his body up against yours and his hot, smelly breath in your ear. “We’ll see about that.”

You’d like to think you would have fought, fought like you did Joel the first time he took you, but you were broken into submission. It wouldn’t have done any good anyway, you were weak from sitting in one room all day for weeks on end; Nick was stronger. He seemed to know how to hurt you in ways that wouldn’t mark: yanking hard on your hair enough he ripped chunks out, gripping your face at a strength that won’t bruise at your skin tone, slapping you everywhere, which will fade by the time Joel is back. As he violates you, he continues saying disgusting things, calling you names, degrading you… why did this feel worse than Joel? Why did you feel more disgusted, more violated…

“Joel’s always bragging about how he makes you cum, but I’m not gonna do that, you don't get to have that pleasure, you’re not worth it, whores don’t get orgasms.”

You didn’t want it, you refused it from Tommy, you fought it from Joel for a long time, and you think that Nick realized that.

“Or maybe I should make you cum, huh?” Nick panted, thrusting painfully into you. “How embarrassing would that be?”

You shut your eyes, trying so hard not to give away that you really did not want to cum, you wanted it to just end.

But he knew. Nick touched you, working your body methodically coldly, nothing like even how Joel did early on, when he was determined to make you cum; even though, Joel touched you with passion and fervor, even if violence. The orgasm was weak, it didn’t feel good, just a spasming of the muscle.

“Look at you, coming on your rapists cock, fucking pathetic” Nick said after you came, jerking himself onto you as you cried.

You curl in on yourself, not looking at Nick as he dressed. “What now? You can’t kill me, and I’m going to tell Joel.” You say miserably, deadset and determined to tell Joel like you promised him you would, and get Nick killed.

Nick shakes his head. “No, you won’t tell him” He laughed. “If you do, I’ll tell him about you and Tommy. How you fucking begged like a whore for Tommy, like Joel wasn’t going to be enough, you needed to get stuffed twice. I don’t imagine Joel will take very well to his brother being the one to break you open. The walls are thinner here than you two seemed to think.”

You freeze. He’s right, you can’t tell Joel, because if Joel finds out, you are certainly dead, but more importantly… Tommy… you can’t be the reason Tommy is hurt…

Nick laughs cruelly, kicking a blanket vaguely to your direction “Better clean yourself up,” He said, referencing his cum on your body. “Before you get Tommy killed.”

And you did, despite your disgust and tears, because you couldn’t make Tommy suffer because you had chosen to taunt Nick, bringing this on yourself…

When Joel came home and into your room, he was surprised by your reaction. You smile was forced, he could tell, but he figured you just had a long day without Tommy’s company. Were you lonely? He didn’t want you to me, but he couldn’t trust anyone but Tommy… maybe you needed some sunshine, he could take you outside again? He doubted you would make a run for it with him right there… “Found a few comics, thought you might like them.” And you can’t help but notice the uncertainty in his voice. When he took you as he always did, you were less engaged, distracted almost… but you clung to him, arms wrapped tightly around him as you buried your face in his shoulders.

“Fuck are you cryin?” Joel pulled back, he loved when you cried, says you ‘cry so pretty’, “God, look at you” He said, whipping a tear away from your crying face. “Hurts so good, doesn’t it?”

But you only pulled him close to you again, wanting him over you, wanting the protection of his body, even if it was under the sole purpose of fucking you.

“Can you cum for me, little girl?”

You shook your head.

“C’mon” Joel began to touch you, to kiss you where he could. “I want you to cum”

“Joel, I’m tired.” All you could think about was Nick calling you pathetic for cumming on your rapist's cock.

Joel wants to argue, wants to make you cum, he loves how you feel around him, how you sound, how you look… but something was wrong today, so he dropped it, cumming on you and following the routine of drawing you a bath, but when he came back… you were still crying… Joel was not a soft man. He lost all that when he lost Sarah… but something was just so painfully off today…

“Did I hurt you again?” He asked, afraid he accidentally did something.

“No. I’m just really tired. Didn’t sleep good last night.”

Joel accepted the answer well enough, carrying you to the bath and noting how harshly you clung to him, but did not shower him in kisses or cuddles… it seemed desperate, like clinging to a raft in a storm.

When he took you back in the room, he found himself more talkative than usual, as you were more quiet. You looked at the comic books, happy to have more to read but confused at what it was..

“I know you ain’t ever seen Star Wars, but, ya know, you’re smart, I’m sure you can figure it out right?”

You give him a small smile. You weren’t sure how you felt right now, everything was so fresh, so new, but you didn’t want to make Joel angry, you didn’t want to lose the small comforts you had… “Thank you, Joel”

The science in the room prompted him to keep talking. “I could… I could tell you about them, some time. The last movie came out right before everything…” Joel stopped himself. He’d seen the last three movies in theaters with Sarah… “I could tell you who everyone is, what the force is n’such.”

To his relief, you smile a bit more. “That’d be nice. I’m just, really tired right now, can we do it another time?” You felt bad turning down Joel actually talking to you, but you felt like you could just…. Fall asleep.

He nodded, standing up. “Yeah, get some rest, little one.”

He left you alone. This continued for a week, neither Tommy nor Joel able to get much out of you, and finally Joel pulled Tommy aside. Their own separate relationships with you had been, generally, left out of conversation between the brothers, neither were thrilled with the other. Tommy hated what Joel did to you, Joel hated that Tommy could offer company where he couldn’t, but both put up with it. In the end, however, they were brothers, the last bit of their family and their ‘before’.

“She say anything to you, recently?” Joel asked.

“That’s vague.”

He sighed. “I mean. She’s been acting strange. Real down, quiet”

Tommy couldn’t help roll his eyes “You keep her captive, Joel.”

Joel glared at his brother. “I’m aware of her position, Tommy, I just… She’s been distrant. Things were better, then she just… she doesn’t talk to me when I bring her things, she doesn’t want me to make her-”

Tommy held up him hand. “I get it.” As much as yeah, it should be obvious as to why you were being cold toward Joel… he was right. Something was off. You didn’t talk to him much either… “I’ll talk to her.”

“Thanks” Joel muttered guffly.

When Tommy opened the door, he saw you startle, something hadn’t seen for weeks, but had been happening this week. You were laying on your side, curled up, your curtains blocking the little bit of light allow in. “It’s dark in here” He spoke, and you gave a non committal response. “I’ll find you a lamp, okay? That way you can read longer.” another grunt, and Tommy sat on the mattress, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, what's going on? I know that’s kinda a dumb question, considering… but…”

You dare to look up at him, Tommy, your savior, so sweet and so kind and so obviously hurt by your apparent turn… He was so handsome, his eyes bright and soft and pleading for you to let him in… You didn’t want him hurt, you couldn’t stand if he was dead because of you… but you were so hurt, so sad, so violated… you wanted so badly for Tommy to know, for him to hold you, to make everything better…

He saw your eyes welling up, you lip quivering, “Oh honey, oh sweetheart come here” Tommy scooped you up, pulling you onto his lap and cradling your body as you began to cry, close to hysterics as he rocks you and held your head close to his chest. “It’s alright baby, I’m here, I won’t let nothing happen. You just let it all out, sweet girl.” He crooned, and by god, you did. You cried, and cried and crying until your head hurt and your throat ached… all the while Joel stood outside the door. He couldn’t hear what was being said, but he could hear your crying, and wanted to badly to be the one to hold you… but he knew you trusted Tommy more.

When you calmed down just a little, violent sobs settling into soft whimpers and shakes, Tommy touched some hair behind your ear. “Can you tell me what happen? What you need? I’m worried about you”

You knew you had to tell him eventually… maybe if you just told Tommy, he could take care of it, kill Nick before he had a chance to tell Joel… would Nick do it again? How long would he extort you before he told Joel anyway, ending both of you… Yeah, you’d tell Tommy.

It took a few minutes of choking on your words before you were able to choke it out. “N-Nick”

Tommy’s grip on you deepened, but he coaxed your face up to him, and you were once again struck by his soulful eyes. “What did he do, sweet girl? He threaten you again? He touch you?”

You crumple in to sobs again, just barely forcing out. “When you guys left, he-he raped m-me” you watched as Tommy’s face shifted to horror and anger. When he asked if Nick touched you, he had never assumed Nick would be this bold, surely he knew he was a deadman. “Jooooeeel!” Tommy shouted to hsi brother, not caring if Joel saw you in his lap and ignoring your please to stop. No doubt you were worried Joel would hurt you, but Tommy new, he could see it in the concern in Joel's eyes earlier; he wouldn’t do anything to you, not for this, anyway…

Joel burst through the door, eyes wide and panicked in a way he rarely saw on the hardened man. All Tommy needed to say was one word, and it was over. “Nick” Joel’s face looked almost… hurt, pained. He raised an eyebrow, asking if it was what Joel thought it was, and when Tommy nodded, Joel was off, the look in his face assuring Nick would be dead soon.

“NO! No Joel come back!” You scream, trying to get out of Tommy’s grasp. You couldn’t let him get to Nick, you couldn’t let Nick tell Joel what you had begged Tommy to do. You turn to the younger man. “Tommy, Nick knows, he knows what we did and he’s gonna tell Joel!”

Tommy could feel the blood drain out, but there was no telling where Nick or Joel were now, no stopping it…. Tommy swore everything would be okay, He had to sit here and wait as you continued to thrash and cry in his arms, so filled with anguish and self hatred, until you fell asleep, the door wide open for Jack to walk by and see, but Tommy couldn’t care less anymore.

When Joel came inside the room again, you were fast asleep. “Hey” Tommy greeted his blood soaked brother. “It’s done?”

Joel nodded. “Yeah”

“He say anyth’n to you?” Tommy tried to ask inconspicuously.

Shaking his head, Joel focus was on your sleeping form. “Didn’t get a chance to. Why?”

Tommy wanted to get ahead of things. “She said he told her if she told us, he’d make up lies about her.”

“Nah. He tried to. Said he had something to tell me about her, but I din’t wanna hear it”

Joel sat down, trying to take your hand carefully… but Joel wasn’t good at careful. You woke up, gasping awake when you saw him, and Joel’s heart ached at the fear in your eyes. “Hey, it’s alright, it’s alright now. He’s dead.”

You took up at Tommy, concerned, but Tommy reassures you. “He didn’t say anything. Didn’t get a chance to lie.”

Feeling a little childish, you scoot yourself off Tommy, onto the bed before Joel asks. “Can I talk to you alone, little one?”

You nod, whispering a small yes, and nodding at Tommy that it was okay. Tommy patted Joel on the back and looked you sympathetically before closing the door.

There was a moment that Joel just stared at you, a look on his face you didn’t recognize… he looked so much younger, softer, gentler…

Joel spoke first.“I’m sorry” He said, and you couldn’t quite comprehend that he had just apologized. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell me, but I promise, I’m not gonna hurt you, I don’t blame you” Was he… was he choking up? “I’m fucking sorry but I made sure it’s not gonna happen again-”

“Is he dead?” You whisper, and Joel nods frantically.

“Not right away, that’s why it took so long. Made sure he suffered so everyone knows not to fucking touch you again”

You didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the fact you were so goddamn lonely this week and just craved it, maybe it was the fact you longed for Tommy, or maybe it was the fact Joel’s face and clothes were covered in the blood of the man that raped you… But you surge forward, kissing Joel, gifting him your first kiss. It was immediately hot and needy, you could taste Nick’s blood on his lips as your both wrapped your arms around each other.

“We don’t have to do this tonight, little one. We can rest today” He panted through heated, sloppy kisses.

“I want to.” And you did, you really fucking did for prehaps the first real time. Joel had known Nick for year, Nick was ranked right under Tommy, but none of that mattered, he believed you without a second question, and slaughtered him before he could even explain. “Tell me” You begin to fumble with belt and then push down his pant with your spread legs.

Joel’s hand slid under your pants, fingers quickly working you open and smirking at realizing how fucking fast you got wet at the slight of him covered in blood. “Tell you what, princesa, I’ll tell you anything you wanna hear.”

What he did not expect were your next words. “Tell me what you did you him, I want the detail.” You took off your pants while Joel took off your shirt

You could feel Joel smile against your skin. “Dirty girl, you wanna hear how I tortured him? Made him suffer for what he did to my precious girl?”

You finished taking off each others clothes quickly, desperate to get at each others skin. “Please”

“No need to beg.” Joel lined his cock up, and instead of violently thrusting in, it was slow. “I cut out his tongue first. Tried to tell me he had some secret about you, but his mouth wasn’t worthy to speak your name.”

You release a breath, relaxing onto your mattress and spreading your arms out before wrapping them around Joel. He trusted you more than Nick. He cared about you, and fuck it, you cared about him.

“Shot both his legs so he couldn’t run, then I broke his arm over my knee. Didn’t need to do that, just wanted to feel him break”

Moaning in encouragement, you pull Joel’s hips closer to you, filling you up. “Did you hear the bone snap?”

“I absolutely did.” Joel began to fuck you, hard and fast as you kissed his neck and should, not caring about the blood. “Hung him by his wrists over a tree, nice’n tight, then stripped him down to his underwear while he hung there”

“Did you castrate him?”

You could hear Joel smiling, “No, I should’ve. You can, though. I made sure he suffered nice and good though, slow death.”

“What did you do?”

Sweat was beading at Joel’s forehead, but he was holding off. He wanted you to cum first, he could feel you were close, you always were when he fingered you open first.

“Took out my pocket knife and skinned him”

“JOEL!” You scream, cumming all around him.

“That’s it, cum on me baby, just like that, little girl.”

You weren’t done yet. Joel was far stronger than you, that was obvious, but when you moved to roll over he helped, and for the first time… you were on top.

“Fuck, you’re fucking perfect.” Joel muttered, in awe of you.

“Keep talking, describe it. I’m gonna cum against and I want you to cum with me.” You began to assault his face with wet, sloppy kisses, tasting Nick’s stupid fucking blood. His blood was yours now, his life was taken in your name and he belong to you. You hadn’t really cum down from your first orgasm when the other was nearly there

“He bled so fucking much, princesa, I didn’t care if I hit veined, I just wanted it to hurt. He kept tryna pass out on me, but I’d slap him awake and start over, didn’t stop until I was sure he was done. My pocket knife is still in his heart, we can go out there tomorrow if you want, cut off his dick.”

“MMMMHM!” Your screams were muffled by your face in his neck, biting down on the tanned, rough flesh as he came inside you, filling you up with his cum.

Selfishly, Joel felt like you were his again.

You refused a bath, not tonight, wanting to remain with him as he held you close and played with your hair.

“You’re never going through that again, little one. Not while I’m still here.” And you believed him.

You fell asleep with Joel half laying on top of you, his body weight warm and firm and comforting and all encompassing around you, and you knew you were safe.

Meanwhile, Tommy sat down the hall, around the corner… waiting for Joel to leave, waiting for you to call you him, waiting for you…

***********

Special thanks to @luc-k-y for letting me use her idea for Joel fucking her while telling her what he did to nick! I read it in her Jake fic, anything for you

PHHHHEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!

That might be the worst of like. The sexual and physical violence for this series tbh. Next chapter will have some violence but like. This is the big turning point. So if that was a lot, don't worry, it's not happening again.

Don't play with blood y'all, especially from men like Nick where you dont know whats in that blood...... but IG std's are the least of Little One's worries

LMK to be added or dropped fromt he tag list!

Reblogs help a lot, and comments are what keep me writing. Not just me, but that series you love reading? the more nice comments and asks you give, the more likely they are to keep writting!

Also yeah I added Tommy to the relationship thing at the beginning lololol I honestly did not origenally plan for this to happen but the first two chpters were written by the seat of my pants. NOW i have a plan

Some tags dont work, but I honestly dont personal post or reblog a whole lot here for if you click to get notifications it shouldnt be too annoying

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

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burningvelvet · 5 months

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I completed Anne Brontë's Agnes Grey in one day yesterday. I'm in a book hangover, but here are my initial thoughts on the novel, as well as on Anne:

- Anne is an underrated Queen, but I already knew that from The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, her second novel. If only she hadn't died at 29! Agnes Grey was her first foray into novel publishing, and proves how much she developed her talents in the interim between itself and Tenant, which most people would agree is much better.

Yet, for a debut novel, Grey is nevertheless impressive. Her acute observations and descriptions of social experiences are some of the most clear I've ever read, and she was as adept in her satire as Jane Austen. After reading both her novels, Emily's only, and more than one of Charlotte's (Jane, and currently 1/4 through Villette) I can say she's certainly the most moral and progressive Brontë, and maybe even the most socially intelligent. There's a lot of humor in this book, and despite some of the dark themes, it never feels miserable.

Anne was a remarkably resolute woman, which comes through in both her heroines; even when they are oppressed and trapped in the most dire situations, they consciously refuse to adopt a victim mindset, instead trusting in their own strength and resilience. After enduring much suffering, both heroines trust in their faith, focus their energy on creating good lives for themselves, and by doing so achieve happiness in the end.

Anne Brontë's heroines are true examples of female stoics in the original philosophical sense, capable of great empathy and feeling as well as self-control and self-discipline. The Anne Brontë heroine has a quiet confidence about her. She champions moderation and common sense, not because she is boring or easily written off by the misogynistic epithet of "prude," but because she has witnessed true chaos and experienced true misery, and these things have served to make her more calm because she does not internalize them but triumphs over them. She has decided to learn from life's lessons and seek a life of tranquility, simplicity, and faith.

- This novel has everything! We've got the (literally designated) not-so-reformed rake in Sir Thomas Ashby (and what a rakish name that is), we've got some demonic children, we've got a sexy country parson, religious discourse, depictions and poignant criticism of classism, sexism, marriage, animal abuse, etc.

- Mr. Hatfield is basically Mr. Collins from P&P. Matilda rejecting him was golden.

-- The beginning of this novel, summarized: "I can't wait to meet these amazing children I've heard so much about! Gee, I really hope they aren't sociopathic animal torturers! What are the odds, am I right?"

-- No wonder the Brontë's didn't succeed in setting up their own school -- being a governess or teacher was simply horrible back then, as it largely still is today, and I think for the most part some of them simply weren't cut out for the job to begin with -- which is saying nothing bad about them or their abilities. Maybe if they lived today they would have done well as teachers or professors with a little more modern structure and having workers rights, etc...

-- I like the short length of this novel! It goes by very fast, and I read the first 100 pages or so myself very quickly, and the rest in audiobook format, but this is very rare for me. I've become accustomed to the Brontë family "language." I'm glad I didn't start with this novel though; I think it's easier to appreciate Agnes Grey after reading their "greatest hits" (Tenant, Jane, and Heights). It definitely isn't my favorite Brontë novel but then again I don't have a favorite. They each fulfill slightly different functions yet have many overlapping themes, so it's difficult to rank them.

-- I think one of the reasons this novel may not be as popular as it could be is because the first half of the novel is generally bleak and this may cause people to give up. The narrator's life generally improves in the second half of the novel, but still, Grey does not have as much dramatic "umph" as does what I hereby dub the "Brontë Greatest Hits Triad" (Heights/Tenant/Jane) which all will prefer. Still, the novel is worth reading for any Brontë fans as it is good and contains many of the Brontë tropes we all know and love. It also stands as a marked contrast to Anne's second novel The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, and makes me appreciate that novel so much better.

#the bronte sisters #currently reading #book thoughts #book opinions #agnes gray #anne bronte #victorian lit #lit #english literature #literature #books #reading

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sciderman · 11 months

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sorry if you’ve answered this before, but what wd u say are ur favorite deadpool runs? we seems to have similar tastes in his characterization, and dp comics are so hit or miss. thanks for all the great content over the years :-)

deadpool comics really are hit and miss - it's quite frustrating in that, like - peter as a character actually does have a canonical personality that (used to) stay consistent and evolve and grow in a believable way over time but - wade? wade is all over the map. his allegiances, motivations and supporting cast change with every run - he's kind of just conveniently any flavour the writer feels is interesting at that moment. we need him to be a romantic hero? he's a romantic hero. we need him to be a villain? he's a villain. we need him to be a tragedy? he's a tragedy. he's the kind of character that i'd love to have a semi-linear character progression, but - you'll never get it, because every run is a reset button, and he's almost unrecognisable from writer to writer.

deadpool self-improvement arc? (thanos voice) fine. i'll do it myself.

for me nicieza's wade is gospel - cable and deadpool is hands down unbeatable for being my favourite wade wilson.

he's bratty. he's sad. he's annoying. and he's constantly craving something. validation. belonging. from nate, from anyone.

i'd kiss him if i could. but i also know nicieza's wade is the wade wilson with canonically the least sex appeal, in the hierarchy of deadpools. other wades are chads in comparison (hate it)

i'd say eat up everything and anything nicieza's touched if you like my characterisation of wade. circle chase is his debut book, and might still be his best (it is)

for another fan-favourite that might be one of wade's most-loved outings - uncanny x-force (2010)

that's just for starters! i think maybe one day when i have the time, i should rank all the deadpool runs, maybe. but there are a few of the recent ones i just couldn't force myself to read. there are some bullets i'll have to bite to finish that list - but who knows, maybe i'll take one for the team...

#sci talks comics #deadpool #comic recs #bless you anon!!

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dragons-homebrew-hoard · 7 months

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Tales from the Aether TTRPG System: Spells and Magic

Masterpost // Previous // Next

This is a peak at some design elements of my TTRGP Tales from the Aether. This is not dnd. If you think some of these ideas are interesting, check out my Masterpost linked above and feel free to send me feedback :D

Everyone can learn magic and spells in this system very easily as every player can choose to know 1 novice Spell at level 1 regardless of whether or not they are trained in any of the Magic Skills. However, beyond character creation, it takes a bit more work to learn Spells.

The number of spells a character can learn is equal to their Magic Attribute but they may learn more depending on Ancestry or Feats. This may seem restricting but Spells work a little differently in this system. Learning a Spell is only the first step on your magical journey as every Spell has a plethora of Upgrades that you can learn to make a single spell multi purpose and escalate in power with you.

In order to learn a new Spell, it must be of a Rank you can learn. For example, my Abjuration Skill is Journeyman Rank but I want to learn an Expert Abjuration Spell. Well, I can't. I would have to hold onto the spell until I reached the proper skill level.

Now, there are four ways to learn new Spells and to gain upgrades and it may vary for your character on a Spell by Spell basis. These are: Innate Spells, Faith Spells, External Spells, and Learned Spells.

Innate Spells are Spells you just know. No on taught you them as they seem to be a natural part of you for what ever reason. These spells are thus more volatile than others and have a 1 in 20 chance of either doubling the strength and effect or failing entirely (rolling a 20 and a 1, respectively). As you grow in power, new spells and spell upgrades will reveal themselves to you - and your character may have no idea what spells or upgrades they will learn until you give it to them.

Faith Spells are Spells you harness through faith. This could be faith in a religion, faith in the self, faith in an ideal, etc. Your faith is so powerful it can literally move mountains but if it wavers, you may lose your ability to use these spells all together. Faith spells are a bit of a mixture of the three other types. Your character can strive to learn specific spells that are influenced by their faith but do not need to do research persay to learn. The spells come more naturally but can also be lost far more easily as faith can be fickle. If your character is losing faith or struggling to maintain their faith, there is a 50% chance their spells will fail. If your character has lost faith entirely, they cannot use their faith spells. If your character’s faith is strong and unwavering, their spells are as well.

External Spells are Spells given to you from an external force through a pact, parasitic relationship, or residue from an encounter with a creature or location. These spells leave a physical mark on your body when you learn them and will continue to change you the more you use them. This could be a change in hair color, tattoos or markings that appear overnight, a change in eye color or shape, or whatever you want it to be. This change represents the physical toll of channeling power that is not your own and the mark of whatever entity has given you these spells. Additionally, your character may not have a choice in what spells are bestowed upon them and the entity can remove your ability to use these spells whenever it pleases or if the contamination has naturally worn off over time.

Learned Spells are Spells you learn through research and study. These spells are the most consistent out of the three. Once you learn a spell, it is yours. However, in order to improve these spells, you will need to continue studying and experimenting with them which may involve keeping “spell books” or notes of some kind that detail your experimentation. If your notes are destroyed or stolen, you will need to start over with what you remember if you wish to continue improving the spell.

The different schools of magic are technically arbitrary constructions as magic is magic but so is violence. It takes different technique to wield a shield, a dagger, and a war hammer just as it takes a different skill set to protect, destroy, or create.

Abjuration is the school of protection and wards. This includes increasing one's Defense Bonus (will explore when discussing combat) and Resistances or creating wards that prevent creatures from approaching.

Alteration is the school of change. These spells alter the world around you such a levitating objects, transforming one creature into another, and manipulating time.

Conjuration is the school of summoning and transportation. These spells summon spectral weapons and armor as well as creatures to fight for you. It is also the key to traveling across the world or to different planes.

Evocation is the school of curses and the spirit. Oftentimes shunned, this school delves into dark places and is far more volatile than others.

Glamor is the school of the mind. These spells alter the minds of creatures to give them hallucinations that allow you to manipulate them like puppets on a string.

Mysticism is the school of knowledge. These spells allow you to see the truths of the world around you as well as what was, what is, and what has yet come to pass.

Necromancy is the school of healing and undeath. Necromancy is well known for its penchant for keeping allies up and fighting regardless of the shape they may be in.

Primal is the school of elements. These spells allow you to manipulate and invoke the power of nature through fire, plants, and more.

Next week I'll discuss equipment and durability

See ya later gamers :D

#tales from the aether #tales from the aether tuesday #tfta #ttrpg system #indie ttrpg

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blood-darkened-moon · 9 months

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Some Alfred and Alexia Ashford headcanons, but not related to twincest.

Sure! And you know what? I wanted to do some general headcanons for a while anyway.

Alfred

His full name is Alfred Edward Arthur Hamish Ashford.

Alfred’s IQ as an adult is high enough to be considered a genius.

Alfred likes his coffee black with a bit of sugar. He prefers tea to coffee, though.

He’s an early bird, he likes to get up early and go to bed early. However, in reality, Alfred usually gets up early, goes to bed late, and is often somewhat sleep deprived. Sometimes, he takes a nap in his office when he is too tired.

He tried to grow a beard once, which ended after a couple of weeks with some stubbles here and there. Nothing you could consider a beard. He has very little body hair in general.

He studied business administration and graduated as the best student of the year.

He’s a walking war and military history book.

Alfred owns a massive WWI and WWII-themed collection, which includes various models and original pieces from all parties. He has collectibles from other eras too. The models are from tanks, planes, armored vehicles, ships, larger weapons, and so on. Good amounts of them are self-made scale models. Alfred is very skilled in this regard. One of his maids kind of gained a friendship status by asking him frequently about the history of his collectibles.

Alfred is a decent pianist. He never had any lessons, everything is self-taught. There is still a lot of room for improvement, though.

Alfred speaks 12 languages besides English (Italian, French, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Japanese, Mandarin, Russian, Arabic, Indian, Polish, Swedish) more or less well, some even on the level of a native speaker and almost accent-free. He can’t write and read all of them, but at least he understands them and has a rather broad vocabulary and some basic grammar skills. His favorite language is Italian. Learning them resulted partially from his own interest, partially it was work-related, and partially he picked them up from the mercenaries. Learning new languages was always easy for him.

Harman cared for Alfred like his own son after Alexia went to her cryogenic sleep. Alfred appreciated his kindness even though he never saw him as a father figure. Still, he treated Harman a lot better than he treated his other employees. Harman was even allowed to criticize Alfred openly without fearing for his life.

Harman hated what kind of monster Alfred had become over the years, even though he never saw the worst of Alfred. He partially blamed himself for it.

Alfred did not immediately develop his split personality after Alexia was gone. It started when he was around 20. At first, it was less frequent and less intense, but later it happened more often. The intensity increased too. Most of the time, he was still there, more or less, even when he wasn’t in control. Later he sometimes had total blackouts for minutes to hours when he switched completely to “Alexia”. After Alexia returned and he started visiting a therapist, his condition improved significantly. He still has it occasionally, especially when he is stressed, and it will probably stay forever to some extent, but at least the blackouts are gone.

He has problems distinguishing between the real Alexia and his alter ego.

Alfred is quite popular among the UBCS soldiers. Despite the intense training, they have a rather good life on Rockfort Island because he invests a lot of money to fulfill their basic desires. (Actually, it’s not his money, it’s Umbrella’s money, Alfred is just good at bargaining.) The only requirement is that the soldiers follow his rules. And since Alfred loves collective punishments, that’s not too hard to enforce. The soldiers keep each other in check.

Alfred rarely interacts with the lower-ranking soldier unless he has to. It is below him. Some have never even seen him the entire time they were on Rockfort Island. However, he is less aloof with the higher-ranking soldiers. When he’s in a good mood, he even has a few drinks with them.

The giant worm is his pet. Umbrella had little interest in this BOW, too impractical for broader use. They said Alfred could have it if he wanted it. No one knows how Alfred tamed it, but it is friendly toward him and even follows simple orders.

And because Alfred is a sick fuck, have some darker headcanons too.

Most prisoners on Rockfort Island are there for interrogation. Once this is over, Umbrella doesn’t need them anymore. Obviously, they can’t let them go, so they often become test subjects, or the UBCS can use them for training. As long as they die, Umbrella doesn’t care too much about how it happens. This means Alfred can do whatever he wants with most of the prisoners.

Watching Alexander suffer after Alexia infected him filled Alfred with joy. He could have watched this for hours while smiling from ear to ear. At first, he thought it was because he finally got his revenge, but the warm feeling returned when a worker had a fatal accident in front of him.

He tortured and killed a couple of prisoners himself. It was messy, and he realized that he preferred watching rather than doing it. Then he started using other prisoners for it. He promised to let them go if they would do what he said. A lie, obviously, but they often fell for it. Or he paid the mercenaries. Most have little to no morals anyway, and it is easy work for good money. This went on until he found Enoch Stoker (the anatomist). The guy clearly wasn’t right in his head, but he was intelligent, well-educated, and most importantly, he did everything Alfred wanted. Not only that he enjoyed it. The two even became something like friends.

Alfred sometimes recorded everything, but these snuff movies never gave him the same satisfaction as live performances.

War isn’t the only topic he has a lot of knowledge about. He’s also an expert in historic torture methods and outdated medical procedures from all around the world. Alfred is aware that he probably can’t replicate all of them, but he can try.

He tried to get into big-game and trophy hunting. The animals in his mansion are his kills. Soon Alfred realized that animals don’t do it for him. He preferred prey that was more intelligent. Alfred has a private hunting ground on Rockfort Island. Stronger prisoners have a good chance of visiting it instead of his torture chamber. (His aim is a lot better when he has slept well.) He owns a mare, which he often rides while hunting.

Alexia

Her full name is Alexia Veronica Elisabeth Nora Ashford.

The cryogenic sleep made her age slower. Physically she’s about 20 years old, not 27. Mentally she obviously didn’t age during that time.

Due to the mutations from the virus, Alexia can lift 40 times her body weight like an ant.

The twins have a cook, but when Alexia has time for it, she likes doing it herself. It reminds her a bit of working in a lab. She always wears safety glasses while cooking, possible helpers must wear them too. Her cooking is pretty good.

She doesn’t like sweets particularly. Sometimes it’s ok, but most of the time, she requests fruits as dessert.

Caffeine junkie. She likes her coffee with milk and without sugar.

Alexia loves opera, musicals, ballet, and concerts. She’s a good singer herself.

She is a night owl. Her sleeping schedule is slightly better than her brother’s, but not by much. She often stays up way too long and regrets it in the morning.

Alexia loves invertebrates. Ants are her favorites, but she loves other ones too. She has a large room where she keeps various species of invertebrates as pets in hundreds of enclosures. Alexia also has some beehives and started making her own honey.

She has collected porcelain dolls since childhood but has never played with them. Some are very old and rare. Her first doll was a gift from her surrogate mother. Alexia only knows this because Alexander told her so.

Alexia thought about getting into wine growing. Alfred loves wine, she loves wine, and she is generally interested in the process. So why not buy a suitable piece of land and hire some people to grow her own wine?

Alexia completed her studies mainly by distance learning. She attended the university only for exams and other events where she had to be present in person. The practical work was done in a lab in Antarctica that Alexander had built specifically for this purpose. She was still too small to work in a regular lab. After some inspections, the university allowed it. Alexia finished her Ph.D. with an A+. Her examiner didn’t go easy on her, but the defense was a breeze for Alexia regardless.

She secretly admired William Birkin. His achievements impressed her and gave her more motivation to work harder and outdo him. Alexia only met him once in person at an Umbrella intern conference shortly after she started working for them. He wasn’t very friendly, but they still debated until 4 a.m. (Alexander wasn’t with her). Both enjoyed it. Birkin would never admit it, though.

Alexia hoped Birkin would get along better with her, but she would never ingratiate herself. If he hates her, then so be it. Apparently, it doesn’t stop him from having elaborate conversations with her.

The last time she cried was when she was a baby.

She lacks a bit sense of shame. She is also uncomfortably direct in conversations, no sugarcoating, no lies to not hurt someone’s feelings.

She likes to try out new things. Even if she doesn’t like them in the end, the experience is still worth it.

Alexia has started to act more and more childish at times around people she is familiar with. As a child, she was dead serious. That’s how she was brought up, that’s what people expected of her. But now, she’s an adult, rich, and can do whatever she wants. And if necessary, Alexia can switch back to serious in a matter of seconds.

Alexia is fascinated by mundane things, like supermarkets. She never had these in Antarctica, and during the rare occasions Alexander took her somewhere else, they stayed far away from such places.

Both

Alfred was born first, Alexia 7 min later. Their birthday is the 27th of January, 1971.

Alexander took the DNA from Edward and Veronica to create the twins. That’s also where their second names are coming from.

They can read the other one so well that they can’t lie to each other. Sometimes it works for minor things, usually, it doesn’t.

Harman started his own investigations after Alexander’s disappearance. He found out what the twins did to him but never said anything. Harman thought it was unnecessarily cruel, and still, he could somewhat understand them. Despite his good intentions and all that he provided for them, Alexander was a terrible father. Harman felt sorry for the twins most of the time.

They tend to talk about other people who are right in front of them as if they are not there. They don’t mind if these people find it unpleased.

In any kind of competition, the twins never let the other win. They consider it disrespectful not to give 100%.

The twins often play chess together. When they were children, Alexia used to win all the time. Alfred improved a lot over the years, but he could never defeat her. As adults, it’s the opposite. Alexia tried many strategies, but she wasn’t able to beat Alfred once.

Alfred and Alexia started fencing as a hobby. Both are equally good. Often, they use the floret. Sometimes, they also try rapiers or sabers.

They like to travel and do sightseeing. Alexander rarely took them anywhere, and there wasn’t much to see in Antarctica.

Both work a lot. Alexia thought they could need more time to relax, so she introduced a spa day for them once a month. She also hoped that it would have a positive effect on Alfred’s mental health.

Alexia drags Alfred into everything that sparks her interest, like museums or theaters, and, to his dismay, into amusement parks, shopping malls, or supermarkets as well. Sometimes he can convince her not to go there, but not very often. If she really wants it, he gives in and accompanies her. Alfred’s worst experience so far was when Alexia dragged him into a strip club.

#resident evil #alfred ashford #alexia ashford #ashford twins #hcs #ask #🩸🌙#i always write too much i hope you don’t mind #re hcs

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demifiendrsa · 4 months

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Persona 3 Reload — The Hero Character Trailer

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Japanese version

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Yukari Takeba Character Trailer

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Japanese version

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Iwatodai Dorm Life

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Japanese with English subtitles version

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Junpei Iori Character Trailer

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■ Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad (New S.E.E.S. Combat Uniform)

This remake updates the classic combat uniforms worn by the party members when exploring Tartarus. Check out all-new character art of the Protagonist, Yukari Takeba, and Junpei Iori in their new gear!

strong>Protagonist (voiced by Aleks Le in English, Akira Ishida in Japanese)

Weapon: One-handed short sword

Initial Persona: Orpheus

Theurgy: Cadenza, Best Friends, and more.

His weapon of choice is a one-handed short sword, and the first Persona he summons is Orpheus.

Normally, a person can summon only one Persona, but he holds the power of the Wild Card—a special trait allowing him to handle multiple Personas and different types of Theurgy.

—Orpheus

Orpheus is the first Persona that the Protagonist awakens. In Greek mythology, Orpheus was known as a heroic poet and master of the lyre.

Yukari Takeba (voiced by Heather Gonzalez in English, Megumi Toyoguchi in Japanese)

Weapon: Bow and arrow

Persona: Io

Strong Skills: Wind, Healing

Theurgy: Cyclone Arrow

An expert archer with the unique Persona Io.

She specializes in wind and healing abilities, and her Theurgy skill Cyclone Arrow ignores an enemy’s natural affinity to deal heavy wind-type damage.

—Io

Yukari’s unique Persona is Io. In Greek mythology, Io was known as a priestess in service of the goddess Hera, favored by Zeus.

Junpei Iori (voiced by Zeno Robinson in English, Kosuke Toriumi in Japanese)

Weapon: Two-handed Sword

Persona: Hermes

Strong Skills: Fire, Slashing

Theurgy: Hack n’ Blast

A hard-hitting attacker with a two-handed sword.

He specializes in fire and slash attacks. His Theurgy, Hack n’ Blast, deals heavy slash damage to a single enemy regardless of affinity.

—Hermes

Junpei’s unique Persona is Hermes. In Greek mythology, Hermes was known as the messenger of Zeus, revered by travelers and merchants.

■ Social Stats

As you go about your daily life, you may be challenged to meet a certain standard of aptitude in three Social Stats: Courage, Charm, and Academics. These can be improved through activities like studying and part-time jobs. Without sufficient Social Stats, you may not be able to use certain facilities or develop Social Links, so be proactive in self-improvement.

■ Dorm Life

While living in the student dormitory, you can spend time with friends in the common areas. Together, you can cook, study for tests, read books, watch movies, tend to a rooftop vegetable garden, and more! Doing so can raise your Social Stats and teach your friends passive skills called Combat Characteristics, which you’re sure to find useful.

By experiencing dorm life together, the Protagonist and his friends will grow as people. As these bonds grow stronger, they may reveal new sides of themselves.

Public Computer

You can use the public computer in the dormitory lounge to study with software or gather intel. In addition to raising Social Stats, you may also learn useful skills for combat and exploration.

Acquire Special Characteristics

When you spend time in the dorm with fellow students, they may acquire special Characteristics with effects like increased critical attack rate, reduced cost for healing skills, and more. These are sure to come in handy during battle, so try to make time for your friends.

■ Schoolmates

Through student life at Gekkoukan High School and being a member of SEES, you’ll get to know all kinds of people. These bonds are called Social Links, and by raising their ranks you can experience special scenes with them. You’ll be able to find a number of fellow students to hang out with after school hours. Interacting with them will also strengthen your Persona abilities, so be proactive in building these relationships! For this remake, Social Link characters have received all-new portrait illustrations, and their scenes are now fully voice acted.

Classmate: Kenji Tomochika (voiced by Joe Zieja in English, Wataru Hatano in Japanese)

A second-year at Gekkoukan High—one of your classmates. A good friend of Junpei’s who wastes no time asserting himself as your friend as well. He professes his love for older women and soon turns to you for advice on dating.

Gourmet King: Nozomi Suemitsu (voiced by Paul Castro Jr. in English, Fukushi Ochiai in Japanese)

A third-year at Gekkoukan High known as the Gourmet King. He has toured restaurants all over Minato Ward, eating everything on the menu—including secret menus. He appoints you as his bodyguard after helping him escape a dispute with a shadowy figure.

Track and Field: Kazushi Miyamoto (voiced by Mark Whitten in English, Eiji Miyashita in Japanese)

A second-year at Gekkoukan High—one of your classmates and a fellow member of the track and field team. He’s a star athlete who has ranked highly in competitions thanks to his hard work, spirit, and perseverance. He recognizes you as a worthy rival who can go toe-to-toe with him.

Track and Field Manager: Yuko Nishiwaki (voiced by Shelby Young in English, Emiri Katou in Japanese)

A second-year at Gekkoukan High and the manager of the track and field team. She’s childhood friends with fellow track team member Kazushi, referring to him by the friendly nickname “Kaz.” Kind and caring, she watches over you as a new member of the team.

Student Council: Hidetoshi Odagiri (voiced by Austin Lee Matthews in English, Masaya Matsukaze in Japanese)

A second-year at Gekkoukan High, vice president of the student council and head of the Disciplinary Committee. He’s known for his ruthless enforcement of rules, earning him the ire of the other students. Once you join the student council on Mitsuru’s recommendation, he seems to take an interest in you.

Student Council Treasurer: Chihiro Fushimi (voiced by Kelly Baskin in English, Aya Endou in Japanese)

A first-year at Gekkoukan High and treasurer of the student council. She tends to have trouble expressing herself to others, and is particularly uncomfortable around men. Overcoming this struggle is at the top of her mind.

Art Club: Keisuke Hiraga (voiced by Griffin Burns in English, Yuuichi Iguchi in Japanese)

A third-year at Gekkoukan High and head of the art club, where the two of you meet. As the son of a doctor, those around him believe he will follow in his father’s footsteps—but he himself is torn between medical school and arts study abroad.

Foreign Exchange Student: Bebe (voiced by Jeff Berg in English, Mitsuhiro Ichiki in Japanese)

His real name is André Laurent Jean Geraux. An exchange student from France who loves and admires Japan, from kimonos to historical dramas to Japanese gardens. After the two of you meet, he encourages you to join him in the fashion club.

Persona 3 Reload will launch for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC (Steam, Microsoft Store) February 2, 2024 worldwide. It will also be available via Xbox Game Pass.

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libbee · 2 years

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Manifestation: whether it works or not; my experience. Bonus: Law of Attraction.

Manifestation is a popular word on internet. Many communities and people discuss it. Many books like the secret, power of positive thinking, power of your subconscious mind mention it. I'm trying to understand the psychology behind it. "Manifestation" sounds like a magical thing where you wish for something and that thing happens. A lot of people share how they wished for simple things like favourite food, favourite phone to bigger things like dream house, dream job, good health and it comes to them. Just like that. Must be cool living that kind of life!!

However manifestation doesn't really work for me. I tried manifesting admission into dream college/getting such marks and rank in exam which didnt work out for me. I did it by writing on paper and leaving at altar, script writing etc.

I spent countless hours daydreaming how my life will be, how I will succeed and marry etc but it didnt work out again. It is embarrassing recalling how silly my daydreams were.

I started noticing that I am delusional and misguided. I have fallen into wishful thinking and narcissism. By narcissism, I dream of grandiose success, power, status, image. I have a case of inflation in terms of analytical psychology and beneath that I have a lot of self doubt, insecurities and inferiority complex. Not only did manifestation not work for me, but also I slipped into maladaptive thinking patterns and unrealistic expectations from life.

There is a fine line between intuition and delusion. Often thoughts and feelings seem like intuitive predictions of future but turn out to be more wishful delusion. A lot of hunches dont come true. Though I am not saying that clairvoyance and intuitive abilities are not real; they are, but you have to be very careful of identifying what is intuition and what is mere dream.

However, what did work for me was "work". I did a lot of journaling to identify my faulty behaviour, thoughts, identity, reactions, expectations and the things I learned from my environment unconsciously. Then I did journaling to identify how they were wrong and what was their effect on my life. And then I learned to do self improvement by reading stoicism, existentialism and spirituality. It was no manifestation! It was pure work. Mental work, physical work and emotional work! No magic pill.

Similarly, for my career, I had to work, study, learn from trial and error. Same for my hobbies and others. I have Venus in 8th house+Scorpio ascendant+sun and mercury in 7th house; the only exception is: I sometimes feel like I can predict my future husband. I saw some visions of him + a lot of synchronicities happened around me + I just know I'm going to marry him. But this is not manifestation either. This is again "work". I worked to get the husband I wanted. I read, learned things, changed my personality; there was work involved. No magic.

Finally, i concur with Law of attraction. It is the most obvious thing whether you are spiritual or not. If you have worked hard to study, to change your personality, to change your looks, obviously you will attract equally worthy results too. But I also know a lot of people who work very hard but still miss out by few marks or some other factors in life.

Despite astrology, life is very unpredictable. Astrology is only 50% of the picture. Rest 50% of life is still uncertain, unpredictable and unknown. And astrology mostly works in hindsight to connect the dots. This leaves us with few options but to focus on learning life skills like decision making, discipline, work ethic, pareto principle, logical thinking, journaling, etc to live life.

Magical thinking/manifestation/wishing/daydreaming did not work for me. If it does work for you, congrats!

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sketch-shepherd-art · 1 month

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so aside from Sytke Ardus, I have created MANY RWBY OC's over the years that I don't talk about much often outside of Discord. Figured I'd just do a masterpost of them and talk about them all here. And yeah ALL of them are Faunus... don't judge

Also disclaimer, EVERYTHING here except for the last pic is not my art, they are drawings/edits I commissioned my friend @laytonesqueautistic to do

Anyway, all character bios under the cut. From left to right, top to bottom

Faolan Ossory and Aetos Dios: a wolf Faunus and an eagle Faunus respectively, and Sytke's two other friends. The two of them, Sytke, and Ilia form team SAIF (pronounced "safe", as it's named after the star Saiph on the constellaion Orion). Two Faunus orphans that have supported each other's backs all their lives living as partners in Menagerie. Faolan is the more socially awkward and airheaded of the duo, while Aetos is cautious, paranoid, and not much of a risk taker. Faolan is based on the Irish werewolves of Ossory (his semblance called “Wolfwalker” is the ability to take on the ghostly form of a wolf whenever he's knocked unconscious), and Aetos is named after + based on Zeus' eagle in Greek mythology

Magenta Rogue and Caliber Pantera- actually RWBY versions of my Hazbin/Helluva OC's Raiya and Colt. A romantic spotted hyena and jaguar couple, and former White Fang members. However they worked for Adam moreso out of necessity and survival than a desire for revenge (though that WAS still part of their main goal at the time). Ever since they abandoned the Fang they've struggled to get by until they found a decent home with new friends in Menagerie (yeah I guess this type of RWBY OC is kind of cliche but whatever, was the best thing I could think of for them)

Bruce Thlayli- inspired by Bigwig/Thlayli from the book Watership Down, a rabbit Faunus (his animal trait is his front teeth) who also once worked for Adam as one of his high-ranking second in commands. Unlike Magenta and Caliber, Bruce voluntarily and actively supported Adam until he gradually became more and more disgusted of his leader’s homicidal actions. His rough falling out with Adam led him to have an often harsh and aggressive, but often well-meaning demeanor. He currently still works with the White Fang, but the reformed version under Ghira's new leadership. He now serves as a drill sergeant for a new and improved White Fang military division for both Huntsmen and non-Huntsmen alike.

Busa Simba, Alma Catori, Silver Fujiwara, and Cincy Sandleford- an all-Faunus team from Vacuo that form Team BASC. They're all really just an excuse for me to have RWBY OC's based on my favorite animal xenofiction, full info about them can be found on my Google Doc here

Faye Ruzizi-Gustafson, Wilkins Savo, Kuro Kuma, Champa Corbett, and Val Savo- ok last group of OC's that have some relevance to the White Fang I swear. A lot of their story is centered around my canon-divergent AU involving Sytke which I've talked about before in different posts, but basically they're a cult of Adam-worshipping Faunus called the Red Fang (edgy as that sounds) that want to honor Adam's legacy and bring back his old homicidal ways, and serve as a main source of conflict for Team SAIF in my AU. They are all themed after irl animal serial killers known for attacking humans. Faye is based on Gustave the crocodile, Wilkins and Val are brothers based on the man-eating lions of Tsavo, Kuro Kuma (the leader) is based on Kesagake the Sankebetsu brown bear, and Champa is based on the Champawat Tigress.

Florence Cuta- basically a secondary RWBYsona for myself (first one being my goat Faunus girl Lara Ziege). She's a vicious spotted hyena Faunus who works at a shady bar in Mistral that's actually a hideout spot for underground criminal operations. And she thinks Cinder and Tyrian are very attractive, definitely not a self projection in any way shhh

#for me #my art #my ocs #rwby #rwby oc #greenlight volume 10 #greenlightvolume10 #greenlight rwby volume 10 #save rwby

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writingquestionsanswered · 2 years

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What are some heartbreaking reasons two people can’t be together?

Reasons Two People Can't Be Together

Any thing that keeps two people apart when they want to be together is heartbreaking. Here are some of the main ones...

#1 - Forbidden Romance - Family or society disapproves due to cultural, racial, religious, political, or socioeconomic differences. Romantic involvement is forbidden by employer, including an office place that frowns upon interoffice romances and a military forbidding romantic relationships within the ranks. #2 - Irreconcilable Circumstances - Relationship wouldn't work due to being kept apart by distance, time/schedule conflicts, couple wants different things/goals don't align, too much conflict created by differing personal ideals (belonging to different/conflicting political groups, fighting for different sides of an opposition, not being able to reconcile with other's personal beliefs.)

#3 - Other Relationships - One or both are involved in relationships with other people that are happy/going well, and they don't want to hurt the other person or are afraid to upset the happy/comfortable life they're already living. An example often scene in TV, books, and movies is when a couple wants to be together, but one makes the difficult decision to pursue a dream which forces them to be apart. Then once they've followed their dream, they return and find the other person has moved on with someone else. They're still interested and want to be with each other, but the one who moved on isn't going to simply drop the other person. A double whammy with this example is when the other person eventually moves on, too, and then the first person finds their relationship coming to a natural conclusion, reversing the circumstances.

#4 - Bad Timing - This can be the result of factors mentioned in the previous two sections, but can also be a more personal matter, such as one person doesn't feel ready to be in a relationship at that time. Or perhaps they want to put their focus elsewhere, such as studying, training, learning a new skill, or self-improvement, and they don't see a relationship fitting into that.

#5 - Misunderstanding -This can be a misunderstanding of self, such as one person not fully understanding their feelings for the other person or feeling unworthy of their love and pushing them away. Or it can be a misunderstanding of the other person, perhaps thinking the other person doesn't truly want to be with them. It can even be a literal misunderstanding, like one happens to see the other having dinner with an unknown person who they seem awfully friendly with, but they don't realize that's just a cousin they're close with who came into town for a quick visit. The specific situation you choose will depend a lot on when and where your story takes place and who your characters are, but hopefully these types of reasons will help you figure out something that will work in the world of your story!

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stheresya · 2 months

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I was just thinking what if instead of Alina it were a character like Vasya in her place. A stubborn and naive girl who's also very connected to their world and has actual motivations of her own. Would be nice to see that (also coz they're my two most favorite characters)

well if we were to replace alina with vasya in tgt it'd be an entirely different story for sure since alina and vasya are such fundamentally different characters.

let's start with the fact vasya was always very much in touch with the supernatural since she was a little girl. she considers the "unnatural" people kin to her as much as her fellow humans. she was always proud of her abilities so there would be no repressing her powers until adolescence, she would probably go to the LP as a child and grow up there.

vasya would learn to be a competent fighter but not a very good soldier, she has too much of a disruptive nature to be disciplined like that, which would make the darkling uneasy about her. but assuming she's a sun summoner here and a fighter, she might rise high in his ranks not because she's good at obeying orders, but because they'd share common interests like love for their homeland and a strive for peaceful coexistence between muggles and grisha. plus they're both horse girls so...

she'd probably make use of her status as saint to further advance their cause to improve the conditions of grisha lives. the thing she would hate most about sainthood is that it would make it harder for her to make friends and ride horses.

vasya also has a compassionate and understanding nature. we see her empathizing with the villains in a few occasions, and her capacity to forgive is quite clear in the 3rd book when she forms a (reluctant) friendship with the man responsible for her father's death in the 1st book. so if the darkling were to use her in his questionable schemes (i don't think he'd have to), she'd be upset but eventually she'd try to understand his point of view and try to find a solution that avoided casualties at all costs. would she work with aleksander? i'm can't say... but i think she would avoid going against him as that would only increase the death toll of their people (who're already at war with two other countries).

i'm just indulging in imagination here with the assumption that this story is written by someone other than LB, or at the very least by a maturer version of her. because the truth is i don't think the failings of tgt should be blamed on alina's personality. i actually think alina as a concept is very interesting (self-repression of powers and memories as a coping mechanism? how sansacore of her) in a story about oppression and self-reclamation, but unfortunately the execution fumbles everything and ends up glorifying the very things it meant to criticize. so even a character like vasya would probably end up meeting the same terrible fate of alina if written by LB.

what makes vasya shine is that she was conceptualized and developed by an author who was willing to let her grow and explore the possibilities that she offered. alina was never granted that. the problem with alina is that she's perpetually shackled, and the moment she tries to break free and move forward the narrative knocks her on her face and double-secures the shackles that restrain her. alina could be feisty on her own, she talked back at authority figures on plenty occasions which suggests she didn't have a passive nature. but she was stuck with an author who was adamant on never letting her grow, regardless if she had a thousand motivations.

#sorry anon. i think you probably just wanted some fun crossover AU ideas and i ended rambling on as usual...#my asks #vasilisa petrovna

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me1-atonin · 1 year

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ok so now that i’ve read all of alice oseman’s books i can finally rank them (btw this is just my opinion)

Heartstopper (all volumes) - I was almost going to put it in second but it just has too big of a place in my heart to do that. yes i’m biased.

Radio Silence - alice’s best novel by farrrr. it was something that i really needed to read for where my life is at rn.

Loveless - what can i say? i love alice’s books where the main theme is friendship.

Solitaire - when i was reading it, it didn’t really feel like my sort of thing, but in hindsight it was better than i gave it credit for. i can definitely see how alice’s writing has improved since then though lol

This Winter - it kind of had the same vibe as Solitaire with a tori pov and a certain type of sadness to it

I Was Born For This - the only reason why this one is ranked so low is because of angel’s pov. i don’t have anything against her character but it’s just the fact that she reminds me wayyyy too much of my 13 year old bts obsessed self and her pov kinda read like a fanfic. i feel like once she’s not as obsessed with the ark and realizes that shipping the members was wrong and stuff i would like to see her pov in the future. although i do have to say that jimmy’s pov was an amazing way to call out people who make their favorite celebs uncomfortable (aka me from 5 years ago)

Nick & Charlie - i love the ending of this one so much, but i can’t get over the miscommunication trope with them bc they communicate so so well and ik alice wrote this before heartstopper so it’s going to feel a little off but yeah

from place 4 and on was so difficult to do because i love all of these books and i didn’t want to put any of them at the bottom lol. also i might as well just consider heartstopper and radio silence as number 1.

#alice oseman #osemanverse #heartstopper #radio silence #loveless #solitaire #this winter #i was born for this #iwbft #nick & charlie

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luminalunii97 · 2 years

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Damianos of Akielos started the journey as a self-righteous voluptuary prince who could see no false in himself and his side of the story but was quick to point out other's!

He's quick to decide Laurent is a 'spoiled prince' but he fails to notice he's not much better. What with his previous life of luxury and pleasure and how little regard he had towards people beneath him in rank. But I guess he didn't even know how ignorant he was being because he honestly didn't think anything was wrong with him and his lifestyle.

So it's safe to say at the beginning he wasn't my favorite character but since I was walking in his shoes, as he was the narrator, I did sympathize with his situation and wanted nothing but his liberation.

The thing about captive prince books is that no one's perfect. Everyone has flaws. And Damianos is just human. What makes his character appealing to me is his character development. He doesn't stay the same carefree royalty, he grows. And somewhere in the last book seeing him in contrast to his past self, it was obvious he came a long way. By the end of the trilogy, he's not perfect, but he is a better man now, a mature person, and a compassionate king.

He learned to look at things from other people's perspectives, he fell in love and learned how to distinguish actual values from false ones. He started to admit, even if it is just to himself, that his people, his father, weren't perfect beings and were on the wrong side of the war.

I liked where his character was going last I saw him, and I believe his character growth is not finished yet. I like to believe with Laurent by his side, he'll continue to improve. They're both works in progress as is life.

A wise person once said 'life is not to be perfect, it's the walk towards it. You'll never achieve perfection but the point is putting effort to be a better person every day'.

#captive prince trilogy #damianos of akielos #meta

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goosemixtapes · 1 year

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max’s top books of 2022 :3

past top tens here & here! as always, these rankings are based on some nebulous alchemical combination of “it’s objectively good” and “i like it a lot.”

weird reading year! lots of mediocre books! lots of rereads! lots of things i felt very mid about! but i did finish the shakespearean canon, so, fuck yeah! more details beneath the cut.

in place of runner-ups this year, i’m pioneering a brand new category called BOOKS I LOATHED. those being: Mourning Becomes Electra by Eugene O’Neill (why would you write a retelling of something as cool as the oresteia and make it stilted, misogynist, and incestuous); Dracula (holy fucking shit is this book boring. i did enjoy dracula daily, though); this fucking Dan Brown book i couldn’t even finish which is rare for a guy with completionism OCD; and, of course, my least favorite book of this year & one of my least favorites ever, Robinson Crusoe (i can’t summarize my thoughts in parentheses. click my review)

my top anticipated 2023 release is alecto the ninth. no notes.

okay, the list, in order of increasing enjoyment:

10. The Ides by Stephen Dando-Collins

roman history hyperfixation went fucking insane this year, gang. roman history hyperfixation went fucking one thousand. i haven’t read every book about the late republic (not even close to it), so i can’t speak to how this measures up in the field, but if you’re interested in the assassination of julius caesar, you should check this shit out. i particularly appreciated the amount of direct quotes from historical figures included, because that 1) made it easier to read 2) made the historical figures it concerned feel closer. this book flows like a thriller until the actual ides; the discussion of the aftermath is a little less gripping, but so goes history.

9. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

this is the first of its kind i’ve ever read--a book centered around the oppression fat people face, focused on 1) breaking down fatphobic factual misconceptions (like the idea that diets are a cure-all or even that diets are all that effective) and 2) examining the effect that fatphobia has on individuals and society. beautifully well-researched; beautifully written. wish i could beam this entire book into the head of everyone around me. (gordon has a new release coming out in 2023!)

8. Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes by Jessica Pan

this is not a self-help book, but i read it like one. it is not, either, despite what the title may suggest, some trite thinkpiece about introversion being So Cool And Quirky Special!, or about introversion being A Curse On The Bloodline That Must Be Cured. it’s more autobiographical than that: it’s the author’s story of a year in which she tried to exposure-therapy herself into being more outgoing, friendly, and honest, and not only is it very well-written, it’s also just really fun to read! have you ever wanted to experience improv vicariously without actually having to do improv? this is the book for that.

7. Aeschylus’s Oresteia

greek tragedy doesn’t do it for me like shakespearean tragedy, but hooooooly shit. holy shit. i had the pleasure of studying these plays in a class and they made my head spin inside out. the IMAGERY! the VIOLENCE! the TOXIC FAMILY DYNAMICS! the RAGE! the GRIEF! the VENGEANCE! the MILF! the oresteia has it fucking all! if i pop up with a lesbian orestes book in five months, look away. (goosemixtapes, inc would like to note that there is no lesbian orestes book in progress.)

6. The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

AKA the only vampire media that exists. in which vampirism is a contagious disease, and vampires are sectioned off in government-run quarantine “coldtowns,” where some of them kill people and some of them become instagram influencers. (not literally, but they might as well; this book is almost metacommentary on the allure of the romantic-gorgeous-sparkly-pop-culture vampire). every character is beautifully well-drawn, especially for a YA standalone; i even found myself rooting for the heterosexual romance! also, there’s a trans girl, and she doesn’t even die! this was a recommendation from my dearest @yvesdot, and it has crack in it. it has crack cocaine in it

5. Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher

apparently i’m on a nonfiction sweep. (to be fair, “read more nonfiction” was one of my reading goals this year.) this is what it sounds like--a candid and shockingly clear-eyed memoir chronicling the author’s fourteen-year struggle with eating disorders--and also more than that--an incisive exploration of both hornbacher and the family and society that shaped her, with some of the rawest and most evocative prose i’ve read in a long time. not recommended for the faint of heart or people with triggers around disordered eating (or, at least, i recommend you step very carefully), but wow, i’m going to be thinking about this one forever.

4. Cassandra by Christa Wolf & Lavinia by Ursula K. Le Guin

okay, this one is a double feature. which i recognize is weird, because these are different books by different authors published in different years, but on a metatextual level, these books are holding hands. these books are lesbian kissing, even. both of them take a character from classical epic/theater--cassandra the prophet from troy; lavinia from the latter half of the aeneid--and tells the story through her eyes, in a very deliciously metatextual way. wolf’s novel (more of a monologue), written in east germany under the looming threat of nuclear war in europe, is rife with themes about war and destruction and the rise and fall of cultures. le guin’s novel is more interested in narratives, fate, and fictionality, but war themes are again at play, because it’s the aeneid. also, both of these authors truly understand aeneas from the aeneid and i don’t say that fucking lightly. books written for a target audience of me

3. Roman Shakespeare: Warriors, Wounds and Women by Coppélia Kahn

okay i don’t even have anything to say for myself here. i’m thinking about victor @asimpleram saying my yearly top 10 list is just an english class assigned reading list. but as one of the few people in the world who is derangedly interested in how gender is constructed in antony and fucking cleopatra (and also julius caesar. and shakespeare in general. but i got really into FUCKING antony and cleopatra this year), i could annotate this book for ages. i filled a google doc with so many screenshots from this book that it negatively affected my drive storage situation. shakespeare fans eat fucking good

2. Saga by Brian K. Vaughan

i’m not particularly into outer-space scifi, so i wasn’t expecting to like saga, but i started it, again, at the behest of @yvesdot (as i was in their house and they were handing it to me). and then it proceeded to do horrible horrible things to me to the point where i haven’t picked up the new issue because i’m still recovering from the way volume 9 got my ass*. this comic is a fucking masterclass in 1. creating compelling characters in a reduced amount of space and 2. maintaining constant narrative tension while also sprinkling in just enough happy/hopeful moments that the devastating plot beats hurt all the more. also, the character concepts go crazy hard and it’s anti-war as fuck. also, again, trans woman who doesn’t even die! cw for lots of, um, explicitly drawn sexual content (sooo many dicks in this comic oh my god) but if you are ready to have your heart broken you need to pick this up.

*i am physically fucking incapable of attaching myself to characters who survive things. just fyi

1. the Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir

and speaking of having your heart broken. i dearly dearly hope nobody is surprised by this one. lumping all three of these into one category because i don’t want to pick a favorite (it’s GTN), and because i have the same thing to say about all three of them: READ THESE BOOKS. i knew before i turned the last page that Gideon the Ninth was going to be my book of the year; it’s been a long, long, LONG fucking time since i’ve wished so badly i had written this exact book myself. do you like BUTCHES? do you like NECROMANCY? do you like CATHOLIC AESTHETIC THAT ALSO CRITICIZES CATHOLIC IMPERIALISM? do you like DYNAMICS WITH THE COMPLEX TOXICITY LEVELS OF NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS? do you like SEXY WORLDBUILDING? do you like expertly-crafted ENSEMBLE CASTS? do you like STORIES THAT ARE WELL-WRITTEN? do you like WORDS? man, you’ve gotta try TLT. yes, i know that the worldbuilding is sometimes abstruse; i know that everyone spends 90% of the first read in absolute confusion; i know that muir’s sense of humor isn’t universal. but i also know these are some of the best books i’ve ever read, and some of my favorites of all time. absolutely world-changing.

if you’ve read this far--you’re very brave! please tell me your favorite (and least favorite) books of the year! drop recs if you have them! and have a happy new year!

#max.txt #misc book tag #every year the taste gets more esoteric.#no prizes guessing the number 1 winner this year.#readings

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