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#so i have a very visceral reaction of fear and disgust when i see the white ladder laces
moodr1ng · 1 year
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trying to save some pics for my biker ocs pinterest boards but its v risky bc every leather pic no matter what is always 1 click removed from actual nazi fetish pics 😐
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cemeterything · 1 year
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Gore as a concept is swell, but I'm viscerally disturbed by it (empathy mostly), even as someone who loves a good horror film. I see you and other bloggers post a lot about how cool gore is and I can respect it. Is the disgust for gore something a guy can get over, or are y'all just born that way (fine and undisturbed by it)?
honestly i don't know, personally i think some people are probably naturally more or less sensitive to different things typically viewed as "disturbing" because humans are different and we all have different tastes and preferences (and levels of empathy, since you mentioned - i have very low empathy, so i don't really understand the visceral effect gore can have on some people because i just don't have those strong personal feelings about it). but i also think that development and exposure plays a significant role in what we find pleasant or unpleasant. as a kid, i found gore upsetting and scary, but also interesting. my fascination with it and with those feelings of fear and disgust led me to seek it out more regardless, which meant that my kneejerk "ew, gross" reaction faded away with time. i'm not desensitized to it, but i am familiar and as a result more comfortable with it. if i hadn't chosen to expose myself further to it, though, i would probably still find it shocking and upsetting when confronted with it. so i guess if you want to i do think it is something you can become more okay with? but you don't need to force yourself. it's okay to not like things, and it's very normal to be bothered by gore because of its associations with primal and instinctual fears like pain and infection (which is a much more significant risk when your insides are exposed to outside).
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butchsophiewalten · 4 months
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there has been ANOTHER kyle-martin twitter space and i missed all of it :( do you happen to have any info on what was in there??
I was there the whole time! But because this wasn't a Q&A style space like the one from last week, I didn't take as many notes. A lot of it was just Kyle and Martin talking about their own personal interests and life anecdotes, which I found really interesting and enjoyed listening to, but felt uncomfortable writing down as like, Walten Files News, y'know? A lot of it was pretty candid and personal, not really something I want to be sharing as a Series Fun Fact.
The stuff I did jot down is pretty sparse, but here it is anyway:
-Martin mentions that he's actively working on a scene involving Rosemary while he's in the space. He talks about how he saved a lot of the Rosemary stuff for last, because he's excited to work on it.
-Martin says "No, I love the fans but I don't trust them with fucking Jack and Felix plushies". Kyle mentions an anecdote about how Martin didn't want to make human plushies because he didn't want people tormenting the Felix one.
-They spoke a lot in very vague terms about scenes in TWF4. Many distinct times of someone going "Hey, you know the thing about This scene? Hold on, I'll DM it to you" as a launching point for a different conversation, with few or no additional details about the scene in question. Late in the stream Martin mentions finding it funny to imagine the twitter space audience trying to 'peek into the room' to see what they're talking about, like a kid trying to peek at their Christmas presents.
-Martin talks about a scene in TWF4 which is inspired by a real nightmare he had that woke him up in a cold sweat.
-They mention how Showbear was retconned, and Martin talks about how the role Showbear was going to fill in the series has been broken up and split between two separate characters who supersede him, one of which is another white bear named "Mr. Snow".
-Martin talks for a bit about storytelling techniques he's learned from his favorite media/artwork. He brings up Better Call Saul a lot here, speaking mostly about the things it's taught him in the way of subtlety in storytelling and characterization, and how it's often much more effective to convey something in few words than to over-explain it in the hopes of absolute clarity.
-Martin mentions that when he inevitably has to recast Felix, he is not going to open auditions for him, he's going to hand-pick the VA himself, and it's most likely going to be someone he's already worked with or someone he knows through someone he's already worked with. He says that his concern is less to find someone who can emulate Coker's Felix voice, and more to find someone he thinks is most appropriate for the character.
-On the topic of Felix, Kyle brings up a vision he has in his mind of a post-crash Felix leaving Brighton for years, and coming back having gained a lot of weight and otherwise in a significantly poor state. Martin says that it's actually true that Felix gains some weight later in his life. (The implication here I imagine being that 1982 Felix is heavier than 1974 Felix was.)
-There's a pretty long conversation here about a fear Martin has of a specific scene in TWF4 starting a Fandom Ship that he really doesn't want to exist, and on the topic Kyle brings up the first random Terrible Walten Files Ship Idea he can think of, and lands on Jack and Susan. Martin has a very visceral reaction of disgust.
-Martin then starts talking about how he hasn't really fleshed out an idea for what Susan and Jack's relationship is like, but he thinks it'd be fun if they teamed up to scare people, since they're both pretty tall and intimidating.
-Martin ends the stream saying that he didn't finish the Rosemary scene he was working on, but that he's tired and wants to go to bed. He also goes "FUCK Rosemary Walten, man, why does she have so many fucking scenes."
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usetheeauthor · 1 year
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Love, Papa 2
Virgin!Henry Creel|One|Peter Ballard x SexWorker!Reader
Summary: After family game night takes a turn for the worse, One is angry with you for ruining his opportunity to go “outside”. You try to get back in his graces in hopes that he’ll help you escape.
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Warnings/TW: graphic language, attempted suicide by drowning, violence, infantilization, Brenner being weird, enemies to lovers, tsundere!Peter, hair pulling, crying, force feeding, reader nicknamed “belle” (by Brenner) and “bunny” (by One), slow burn relationship
word count: 5.3k+
series masterlist
Chapter 2: Dumb Bunny
You grow impatient as the “family” continues to eat and converse knowing you’re desperate to win this silly game and go outside. The psychotic man’s eyes constantly flicker back to you when he notices that you haven’t partaken in the meal.
“Belle, you’ve hardly tasted your food. Your brother’s been trying to feed you the entire time and you continue to resist,” Papa begins. “That just won’t do.”
“I don’t eat meat.” You spat through clenched teeth.
“Meat is protein. For your bones and for that beautiful brain of yours, my dear. I want all of my children to grow up big and strong. So you will eat the meat.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?! Grow up? I’m an adult! You fucking psychopathic bastard.”
He shoves the table from himself as he stands. The table along with his chair launches a few feet away. He towers over you as you stare up with a defiant snarl.
Papa grips your face in his large hand, your lips protruding out. “What did I say about that kind of language under my roof? And in front of your younger sister! How would you feel if she were to repeat that kind of behavior? You’re on your 1st strike for the night. Don’t accumulate any more unless you know what’s good for you.”
His fingers began to dig into your cheeks the tighter he squeezed, tight enough that you were convince he’d draw blood or even choke you out this way.
“Papa,” One chimes in. “She didn’t mean to say those things. She’s scared and the rules are still very new to her. She’s learning.”
“Yes, Papa,” Eleven says, terrified for you. “She’ll be good.”
The viscous man glares into your eyes for a few moments before he lets out a sigh and releases you. You gasp for air, unable to rub the sting away from your cheeks due to your hands being bound.
“I’m sorry for my behavior, children. All of you. Especially you, belle. I’ve been much too hasty with you but only because I know you can be my good girl,” He caresses a hand down your tear-stained cheek and you shiver in fear and disgust. “Will you forgive me?”
You frantically look in One’s direction and he gives you a secret nod. Swallowing your pride, you whisper your acceptance. Papa kisses the top of your head before taking his seat and adjusting the table.
He lets out a breath of relief. “Now, One…please feed Belle her meal.”
“No, please.” You whimper.
One holds the spoon up your lips, you turn your head away. He follows your movements until Papa has to once again stand from his seat. He restrains your head, widening your mouth forcefully.
You whine and cry, struggling under his grasp. For the first time, One seems to break his emotionless persona and you could actually see him being reluctant to follow his father’s commands. But then Papa growls for him to do so and Peter shoves a spoonful of ground beef into your mouth.
“More!” Papa yells.
He shovels more into your mouth until your forced to swallow. You could feel you body having a visceral reaction to the meat. It rejects the taste and, not a moment after, you’re vomiting over yourself.
“Looks like Belle made a mess.” Papa says in an endearing tone.
You couldn’t even stare at him in anger for his sick ways. You felt defeated and weak, looking up at him with tears swelling in your eyes and saliva on your chin.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Let’s run you a bath and get you all cleaned up,” He runs a hand through your hair. “Maybe next time for dinner you won’t give a hard time. I beg not to…unless you wish to be punished. Eleven, would please draw Belle a bath? And, One, if you could please clean this mess and then take her to her bath?”
“Yes, Papa.” They say in unison.
Eleven rushes out of the kitchen and One tends to the mess all over you, wiping away with a moist towelette.
“If you’ll excuse me, I will be in my office to tend to my work. Please have lights out and everyone in bed by 8 sharp. We will have to reschedule the family game night for another time?”
“But Papa,” One shoots up from his seat in protest. “I was hoping I’d get to go outside. You said if we played then there’s a chance that I—”
“Are you being defiant?” Papa’s voice grows dark, staring the young blonde-haired man down.
The young man swallows his pride, jaw clenching. “No, I’m sorry for speaking out of turn.”
Papa nods, wordlessly accepting his apology before exiting the kitchen. One slowly lowers back down into his seat, staring in Papa’s direction angrily before turning to you.
“This is your fault.” He hisses but you couldn’t even care to reply. You already felt so broken. There was no way you could escape this place. Even if you could, you were much too afraid of what could happen should you get caught.
After cleaning you up enough, he carries you to the bathroom in his arms. Eleven awaits by the bathroom door, concern in her eyes for you. You felt genuinely terrible for her. She’s just a young girl witnessing all of this happening before her. Yet despite all the violence she must’ve endured, she was still kind and caring.
“You can go clean up in the kitchen, sister. I’ll be there with you soon.” One says to the young girl.
She nods, looking at you once more then closing the bathroom door behind her. One pulls off the large shirt he’d given you and you don’t attempt to resist. Even when his fingers curled around the waistband of your underwear, you remained an empty shell.
He doesn’t lower your panties. Instead, he pulls his hands away from you, letting out a shaky exhale.
“That’s as far as I will go. You can remove them on your own,” He reaches for the doorknob to exit but then ends up speaking over his shoulder for his last message. “You must know you’ve earned an enemy in me. I had plans to go outside for reasons that I don’t feel the need to disclose with you. If you weren’t such a brat, we could’ve been out there.”
You shudder a cry before breaking down completely, head falling into your hands. “I don’t care anymore. Just leave me alone.”
One almost feels bad for you. You weren’t built for a situation like this. But was anyone really? Something about you was different, though. Why had you given up so soon?
He exits the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar and he could hear you sobbing to yourself all the way until the end of the hall.
————————
You can hear the chimes again. When you close your eyes, they sound a lot closer. You let your mind drift away again.
This time you’re even younger in your memories. Your dress the color of sky, flowing daintily in the strong winds as you frolicked in a field of daisies and dandelions.
You can see someone in the distance. A boy some years older than you. He calls you over to him with a smile and you want nothing more than to reach out to him. But every time you felt like you were getting closer, he seemed further and further away. Oh, if only you could see his face.
But he felt so familiar. You know him. Possibly all your life. So you pick up your speed to reach him, giggling and smiling. You were almost there. So close. But then you see a tall, dark figure towering over him from behind. The boy is oblivious to it, simply waving and smiling at you.
You stop in your tracks, screaming. Or at least you’re trying to scream but your vocals felt as if they’d been constricted by your fear. You knew his name, it was on the tip of your tongue. You’ve got to say it or that thing will take him! Just say his name!
You open your mouth the first syllable of his name ready to be spoken when the figure consumes the boy whole. You watch in horror, tears streaming down your face. Paralyzed with fear, you couldn’t run. All you could do is watch as the figure slithered your way.
It rears itself back as if it’s gaining the momentum to pounce and—
—————
You’re coughing up water, gasping for air. One and Eleven over you, staring down at you with a mix of terror and relief in their eyes. You have a fluffy pink towel wrapped around your body as you recognize that you were resting on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.
You were drowning, submerged yourself in water for nearly 3 minutes. One was able to revive you with CPR. His hands wet as he caresses his hands over your face to check if you were responsive.
“Why?” Was all he said.
But you don’t answer. You just blink up at him wanting to study his features, know who he is. Maybe he might have been the boy in the dream that you saw.
Eleven gets on her knees beside you, tears in her eyes. She goes in for a tight hug, surprising you. You don’t hug back at first, too dazed and confused. But then you suddenly had the urge to comfort her, curling your arms around her tight as well and whispering your apologies to her.
After the incident, you were placed back into ‘your room’. You’d been given another large shirt to wear. You knew he’d be coming in to tie you up to the bed and you wished you could savor the moments of your freedom, stretching your hands and legs. But all you could do was hug your knees to your chest.
You feel someone enter the room, not bothering to look behind you.
“Belle?”
It’s the little girl. You turn to look at her standing in the doorframe, scared to come in.
“It’s okay,” You say. “You can enter.”
She nods, walking over to your bedside. You gesture for her to have a seat and she does so as well. The silence is deafening for a moment until she speaks up.
“I’m sorry.” She whispers.
“Why?”
“Because you’re here.”
You let her reply sit for a moment then sigh. “It’s not your fault.”
“But I wish I could have said something to help you get away.”
“Then he would’ve hurt you,” You know it was brutal to say but the Eleven knew that it was exactly what he would have done if she interfered. “I think maybe I’m supposed to be here.”
Eleven blinks in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah. I think it’s fate for me to have met you. Because it means I get to save you. Wouldn’t you want to be free?”
Eleven blinks rapidly, putting her hands over her ears. “No, no. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I’m sorry. No escaping. No!”
The picture frames on the walls began to clatter against the wall.
“Eleven?” You stare at her in horror as she continues to plea and beg for you to stay.
You don’t know what to do so you simply wrap your arms around her, holding her tight until she begins to stop crying. She ceases her cries, going limp in your arms as you cradle her.
When you felt a presence coming towards your room, you worried it was Papa and you expected him to question Eleven’s distraught state. But One enters the room, concern on his face when he scans the room to see the picture frames slowing their movements then looks over at you and Eleven hugging.
“What’s going on?” He asks.
“It’s nothing,” You say. “I just scared her. That’s all.”
“Eleven, it’s time to go to bed. Papa will come around to tuck you into bed soon so please say goodnight to Belle.”
She reluctantly pulls away from you, whispering a soft goodnight then exits the room. One stands in the middle of the room stiff and proper, staring daggers at you.
“Are you aware of what you’d just done?”
“Are you always this stoic?” You mutter.
“I’m only doing what I have to do. You should do the same,” He strides over to you, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. “I told you if you’re going to survive, you need to adapt. Killing yourself isn’t going to help this situation.”
“And how so? If I’m dead, I wouldn’t have to deal with you or that insane man.”
“You don’t realize what you’ll leave behind once you do,” For the first time, you can see fear in his blue eyes. The moonlight shining in them enhances his emotions. He looks strikingly beautiful, face chiseled despite the light being so dim. You’re enamored by him. “You don’t just die and that’s it. Eleven and I will face the wrath of Papa if you do so. I won’t let you die. Call me ‘selfish’ but I’ve been good enough to not be punished and I don’t need you ruining that for me.”
“You have no control over me. None of you do. I rather die than live in this nightmare. I can’t do this!”
“Do you know that it was Eleven who’d found you submerged underwater? She couldn’t see you through the milk & rose water, not until she reached in to drain the tub and felt a foot. She would have screamed at the top of her lungs but she knew what Papa would’ve done to us all.” Your facial expression softens, feeling truly horrible that she had to see such a thing. He continues. “If you don’t adapt, you don’t survive. But if you choose not to get along, that’s fine. I don’t mind whatever happens to you as long as I don’t have to get punished for it.”
“Maybe you’re okay with being a bitch boy and all because you don’t want to get hurt but at least I’ve got the balls to do something about it. So…Fuck. You.”
“I’m going to give you such a hard time.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
His face twists into a furious snarl, getting on his feet to leave when your hand reaches for his on their own accord.
He’s caught by surprise, frozen in position as he looks down at the contact. You pull him down to be seated once more and he does so without hesitation.
One studies your face for an answer.
“What’s your name?” You ask, dropping the hostilities.
“One.” He says.
“Your real name.”
“That’s my real name.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the only name I could recall.”
“What about your life before this?”
“I can’t remember that either,” He sighs. “What does it matter anyway?”
“Because,” You scoot closer to him. “I feel like maybe we’ve met before.”
“You’re mistaken.” He tries to stand again but you place your hands on his shoulders, seating him.
“I dreamt of a boy in a field of daisies and dandelions. I couldn’t make out his face. He was only a silhouette but I knew he was smiling at me. And he was happy to see me. If I could just find some connection to all of this in my life—”
“You have to let go of those fantasies. They’ll only give you false hope and drive you mad.”
You grew upset, turning your head away from his gaze. “I am mistaken. The boy in my fantasy actually smiled at me. You don’t even have the decency to tell me you’re sorry.”
“For what?”
“For being okay with this! For doing everything he says.”
“You’re as daft as you look,” He growls. “You think I want to play these silly games. We don’t have a choice! So again…if you want to survive, you have to adapt. Unless you’d like to end up like the others.”
“T-there were o-others?”
“Of course, there were others. He’ll stop at nothing for the perfect family. I’m a permanent member of this family. So is Eleven. But you… ‘Belle’… are expendable,” He whispers darkly, eyes wide with innocence despite his chilling words. “Papa dreams of a perfect family to be in his image that he’s dreamt for years. And losing another new addition will mean nothing more to him than a piece of torn paper.”
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You swallow hard, chest rising and falling heavily. “How many were there…before me?”
He opens his mouth to speak only to be cut of by the sound of a door shutting. One’s eyes bug out in horror.
“That’s Papa. He’s just left his study. I must go before he sees us like this,” He picks up the rope tied to the bars of the bed frame. “I have to tie you up.”
“No,” You plead. “You can’t please. It hurts.”
“Until you gain his trust, it’ll be this way. I already told you that you’re expendable. Don’t do anything stupid and risk losing your life. If you want to survive…
“I have to adapt,” You finish with a groan of annoyances. “I know. I know. Just tied me up already. I don’t care to fight anymore.”
Peter slowly loops the rope around your limps and you could actually feel him holding back on tightening the rope.
Leans down to whisper in your ear. “Don’t give up fighting just yet. If you still have a shred of something to live for then you must hang on to it.”
He lifts his head to stare into your eyes and you see that he genuinely meant what he said. You were surprised but nodded nonetheless. He quietly slips from your room leaving you in the chilly, eerily quiet space alone.
Every footstep you heard outside your door terrified you knowing that it was Papa. Any moment and he’d be walking through the door just to harass you in some way. You couldn’t bear to have him touch you but you knew it was only inevitable.
To reduce the surprise of his presence, you counted each thud of his foot in order to determine how far he was from reaching your door. It did little to lower your anxiety as each footstep grew closer and closer in sound until you heard him halt right out your door.
You tremble against the mattress as the door slowly creaks ajar. Then, you see him. The tall, lanky silhouette of your captor standing in the door frame. He steps up and the moonlight washes over his features. He has a soft smile.
“Hello, Belle.”
You don’t speak anticipating his next move. What was he planning to do? You were already tied up. He could do whatever he pleased in his bound state and with each footstep, you began to cower even more at this very fact.
He takes a seat beside you, shushing you as you whimper and tremble. He brings a large hand to your head, smoothing your hair down.
“I didn’t come to hurt you, my dear. I only want to comfort you. You’ve disobeyed me plenty today and yet I can’t help it. I must ease your nerves,” He whispers, fingers now caressing your tear-stained cheek. “Tell me what must I do to make you love me.”
You shake your head. “I could never love you.”
“That’s not something I can believe, Belle. You wouldn’t be selling your body on the street if you weren’t craving for someone to love you. And I love you, Belle. With time, you’ll love me, too,” He leans over you as you press your head back against your pillow. “Until then, I will be patient. I will wait for you to come around. Then, we’ll begin our journey as a happy family.”
He places a gentle kiss on your forehead and you do everything in your power to keep from rubbing at it in defiance and disgust. He moves his lips to your bound wrist, sliding the rope down enough to place another kiss on the deep indentation of the rope against your skin. He takes a thumb to rub at it before bringing the rope over it again.
“Do I get a kiss goodnight?” He asks, bringing his face over yours again and turning his face to the side. “On the cheek, of course.”
You face away, snapping your head to the side to face the antique wallpaper. He looks down at you and sighs, hands on either side of your head. He inches them closer to your hair sprawled out around you, weaving his fingers in the strands of your hair and gripping hard. You gasp in pain, staring up at him with widened eyes.
“You need to sleep off this rebellious attitude. I say by morning you’ll be more well-behaved,” His lips are inches away from yours, tone icy. “Have a good night…Belle.”
He pulls away from you leaving you struggling between holding your breath and hyperventilating as he exits ‘your room’.
You coil your body in fetal position, crying softly into the night. You couldn’t see yourself falling asleep anytime soon. Not when he was around possibly waiting for a moment to take advantage of your sleeping state.
You let your mind drift again, far away from here and back to the field of daisies with the boy who made you feel safe. Slowly your eyes begin to blink close allowing yourself to hold the image of him holding out his hand to you.
—————
The next day, you were discouraged to realize that the torment that you were experiencing had not been a dream. You were awoken by the blonde haired man who still carried resentment towards you for your little stunt last night.
While he helped you out of bed, you couldn’t help staring into his face. It was no surprise he carried no emotions. He was likely desensitized to everything around him. He probably was once like the little girl Eleven, bright-eyed and innocent, until he was not.
You pitied him. And maybe that was displayed on your face because he had a few choice words for you.
“Why are you staring at me like this?”
“Like how?”
“Like you feel sorry for me. Like I’m weak.”
“I do feel sorry for you,” You admit. “You have no recollection of your life before this. You have no name other than a number. And you’re treated as if you are a child.”
“I don’t need your pity,” One scoffs. You take his hand and he’s taken aback once again at the sudden contact. “You’re always touching me. Don’t you know the basic rules of keeping your hands to yourself.”
“No one has ever followed that rule for me. Why should I be the only one to follow it? I think you want me to touch you,” You said, intertwining your fingers with his. “I think…you still have a heart and you’re seeking compassion and companionship. You want me to convince you to fight. You and I are both victims of our situation. But we shouldn’t let it drive our complacency. We could escape. The three of us.”
His ocean eyes shine with shock as if you’d read what was on his mind. He quickly snaps back to reality, pulling his hand away. “You’re a foolish woman. Your bravado will be your downfall.”
“You can try and pretend like you don’t want to run! But I know the truth and I’ve seen it in your eyes. I won’t waste my energy fighting to stay alive here like you want me to,” You say while staring up in his eyes with a newfound courageous spirit. “I know what I’m fighting for now and it doesn’t end with me being here.”
The two of you keep up your heated gazes until the door pushes open and Eleven enters the room giddily.
“Brother! Sister!” Eleven squeals giddily. “Papa says that he’ll allow us to go outside after breakfast! He says that he felt truly awful for ending family game night the way it did and so as an apology, we can play out in the field.”
“That’s splendid, El! Sister and I will be expressing our gratitude to Papa very soon. Could you please let him know that we’ll be there soon?” One says.
“Yes!” She says with a bright smile before scurrying out the room.
One brings his lips to your ears for a raspy, threatening whisper. “I’ll see to it that you’ll be on your best behavior unless you wish to be punished for real this time.”
He pulls away and gives you that famous eerie yet innocent smile. “Don’t be too late for breakfast.” And with that, he leaves you in the room alone as you seethe quietly at his unwavering demeanor.
————
Breakfast felt surprisingly normal. Papa read his newspapers, Eleven colored away in her coloring book, you and One were consistently staring dagger at one another. It creeped you out but that didn’t matter at all to you.
You’ll finally get to go out there and make a run for it. You even ate all your breakfast hoping that it’d give you the necessary energy to run for your life.
Papa looks away from his newspaper to watch you in astonishment. “Wow, look at you, Belle. It seems you’ve developed quite the appetite. And Eleven, it’s not good to color at the table. We’re meant to be eating breakfast, remember?”
“Sorry, papa.”
“You’re very much excused, love. I understand that you’re eager to hurry outside. I guess I could just let you three catch the rays of the sun right now. Is that what you’d like?”
“Yes!” One and Eleven say in unison.
“And you, Belle?” Papa says, focusing his attention on you.
You smile brightly and nod. “Y-yes.”
“Wonderful,” He beams. “Alright, let’s go outside.”
You could almost cry tears of joy. Freedom was only within a reach away. He stands to his feet and you all follow after him as he heads over to the door padded with locks upon locks.
He pulls out a keychain filled with various keys from his pocket and begins unlocking the door. When he gets to the last lock, your smile widens as the door swings open and the sun pours in.
It was in the middle of nowhere, a house in the middle of the woods. There’s a chance you could get lost but that mattered not. As long as you can get away, you’ll figure out a way home after.
The house was also surrounded by tall metal fences, fences laced with barbed wire at the top. It was intimidating and deterring but not enough to scare you.
The field’s quite beautiful. He has his own garden and crops to grow. Possibly to reduce the amount of trips to the grocery store. You could see an apple tree with a tire swing hanging from the thick branch.
Eleven is the first to exit the home, barefoot with her frilly blue and white dress blowing in the wind as she twirled and jumped around.
One is next, his excitement a lot more contained as he heads straight for the garden. He begins to tend to the crops.
Lastly, you take a barefooted step onto the creaky porch, antsy at the startling sound which causes you to bump into Papa. He chuckles, amused by your anxious state.
“Run along, Belle. Enjoy your time outside. I’ll be in my study but we’ll see each other very soon.”
You blink up at him then back at the picturesque field. He was wrong. He wouldn’t be seeing you. But if there’s one command from him that you’ll find yourself listening to…you will very well ‘run along’.
————
You need to figure out just how you will get to the other side of this fence without being shocked to death.
“Don’t even think about,” One says, bumping your shoulder with his as he follows your eyes to the barbed wire fence. “You’ll have yourself killed.”
“I thought you didn’t care what happened to me.” You mutter.
“I don’t long as I’m not in the middle of it.”
“Then, you don’t need to worry about it.”
“Whatever. It’s your funeral.” He huffs, retreating back to his garden. You should be ignoring him and focusing on more pressing matters but you watch him as he cups his hands carefully around the leaf of a plant.
You zero in only to find that he held a small tarantula in his hands. You squeak your horror.
“Why do you have that?”
“Why do you care?” He counters.
“You’re more of a child than I thought.” You say, rolling your eyes.
He gives in. “I like spiders. Everyone looks down on them because they’re ‘creepy’. Much like me, I, too, couldn’t appease the masses. I’ve been told that I’m strange. Unnerving like my eight-legged comrades. I was never normal. But why would I want to be, anyway? All humans care for is fulfilling their own selfish desires. Sex…money…violence…anything of the flesh. But what I desire…not many are willing to admit. I desire power.”
“You’re right about that,” You say much to his surprise. “Everyone I’ve met has only ever wanted those things from me. The men who used my body, the man who sells my body for profit, the violence that follows me where I go. I want power, too. If I had the power, just this once, I’d get my revenge on them all. Including your Papa.”
He’s moved by this, smirking with pride. “You’re not the dumb bunny I thought you were.”
The corner of your lips twitch in a vicious sneer. “I’d hurt you, too. I’d hurt anyone who hurt me.”
He nods, slinking the hairy spider back and forth in his hands and between his fingers. “You’re entitled to those feelings, bunny.”
“Bunny? Is that what you’ll be calling me from now on?”
“I think so. It suits you well. Hopping around dangerously and frantically only to be swallowed whole by the cunning fox. You’re only prey here. That’s all you’ll ever be. Power isn’t reserved for prey. That’s just wasteful.”
“I’ll prove you wrong.” You hiss, stomping away from him.
You pace back and forth, hands in your hair and thinking hard when you feel a small hand tug at your white nightgown.
You looked down to see Eleven with a smile on her face, waving for you to come along with her. “I have something to show you.”
“Not now, dear. I—-“
“Oh, it’ll be so quick. I promise.” She says, grabbing your hand and tugging you along to come around the back.
She halts in her tracks at a distance, then points forward and you look in her pointed direction. There’s a brown wild bunny hopping away in the cunning fox’s cage.
Eleven gets on her knees and gestures for you to follow her as the two of you crawl as close as possible to the bunny. She pulls out an apple from her small pocket, taking a bite so that she has a piece of apple to feed to the bunny. She hands the apple over to you, wanting you to do the same.
“That way the bunny will get to decide who she feels comfortable going to.” Eleven explains.
You repeat the process of biting into the apple for a chunk to provide to the bunny. Then, you hear it. The chimes gently sounding off in the winds. The bunny hops towards you and you and Eleven stare in awe at the creature as it makes its way to your offering.
It nibbles for a moment, your eyes staring into its own like you’ve formed a connection. Eleven sneezes and it startles the bunny, causing it to scamper off and under the barbed wire fence.
“I’m sorry.” Eleven says, disappointed.
But you had a revelation. It wasn’t that you needed to go over the fence. It was under the entire time.
Score: 1 for the ‘dumb bunny’.
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ashesandhackles · 1 year
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Fic recs
Other Women and of Purer Blood by @saintsenara
Summary: Narcissa is adrift, rattling around Malfoy Manor, when an equally lonely man comes into her lonely life.
Thoughts: I have been wanting a story that contextualises the sexual charge and familiarity we see between Snape and Narcissa in Spinner's End for ages (canon compliant, that is) and this story is a lovely backstory to that. It also captures Snape in transition: Snape still ironing out his northern accent, how his movements are still spider-like. He is in the process of becoming the adult Snape we see in canon: whose speeches are a performance, and how he irons out the awkwardness of his movements in adulthood.
Excerpt:
Snape looks completely wrong in the flowery bower where Dobby has set out tea. His sallow awkwardness seems to repel the summer, even though Narcissa suspects he must be baking in his layers of shabby black robes. 
He doesn’t have the fine manners of the sort of person who normally comes to tea with the Malfoys. He eats quickly, and slurps his tea, and looks at the cakes with the greedy eyes of a boy who isn’t used to treats. Lucius would be disgusted, to have a greasy half-blood at his table spraying crumbs everywhere. She imagines the expression of horrified confusion on his pointy face and giggles.
Snape immediately goes scarlet and puts down his tea-cup.
In Infinite Remorse of Soul by @perverse-idyll
Summary: Albus Dumbledore never makes the same mistake twice. Certainly not in love.
Thoughts: My very first Snumbledore, which is a frightening meditation on the very vast power dynamics between Snape and Dumbledore from the hilltop scene in Deathly Hallows and expanding the very personal reaction Dumbledore had towards the wayward young Death Eater. Perverse Idyll is among the best writers in the fandom, brimming with words and fantastic imagery that just stays with you.
Excerpt:
"My boy," Albus says almost kindly, because kindness is something that mystifies his young servant. Severus' eyes dart upwards, apprehensive, accusing, and Albus can see the darkness inside the boy clawing to reach him. Guilt calling to guilt.
The moment quivers and thins until he judges that Severus has had enough and is about to rebel. A harsh rasp draws his attention. He looks down at the bruised, blackened fingernail scraping across stone.
"My boy," he sighs. "You never fail to disgust me."
The ritual word strikes Severus down. His obstinate body shrinks, wings of hair flapping forward to shut his scowling face from view.
To Build A Home by @mblematic
Summary: 1978-1981: Sirius stumbles on something in the woods, Sirius and Remus stumble into each other, everyone stumbles into the war.
Thoughts: First War hijinks, dysfunctional Wolfstar - I was fed! I cannot rave enough about the gorgeous, subtle writing of relationships (the author really captures this raw, visceral vulnerability between two friends who are attracted to each other and how it explodes in heightened tension of war) and there is some fantastic world building and mirroring. Excerpt: Later, Sirius would remember almost everything from this night with crystal clarity except the sky, which in reality was clouded but in his memory would be open, star-studded, expansive and unknowable as the future. He’d remember, correctly, that the wolf was different than it had been at Hogwarts. He’d remember the restless, brutal, snarling fury, all of it undercut with a fear so intense it had its own meaty weight. The night took Sirius by surprise and he spent the whole long stretch of it trying to put himself back on track, trying to reacquaint himself with the wolf, and trying to convince them both that they remembered each other. At one point he found himself literally between Remus’ jaws, helpless and pliant, mewling like a supplicant. This, too, he would remember for the rest of his life. 
Second Life by Cassandra, nwhiker Summary: What happens when two men are given a second chance.
Thoughts: I finally got around to reading one of the most recommended Snirius fics out there. Beautiful, understated, deeply emotional - the authors take you on a journey with the two of them post war. It also feels....old?? As in, the kind of perspective this fic has is the perspective of someone in late 30s (which both Snape and Sirius are in this fic, post war). There is a fragile, "who else will understand what our generation went through?" running through the vein of this fic.
Excerpt:
It was like walking into a tiny garden in the tropics, and he was reminded of some of the places he'd visited while on the run after his escape from Azkaban. There were hundreds of plants, most of them unfamiliar, and a large table was filled with orchids. There was a tree, which turned out to be a frangipani, its white flowers soft and sweet. A delicate white flower with an exquisite fragrance that Snape said was bouvardia. Along one wall were plants Sirius recognised from Potions classes, wolfsbane and asphodel, wormwood and sopohorous, a shrivelfig tree, and others he'd seen but didn't know the names of.
"I'm not supposed to have them," Snape said.
Sirius turned to him. Snape was staring down an orchid, brushing planting mix from the edge of its pot.
Al Aaraaf by eldritcher
Summary: There is a place between heaven and hell.
Thoughts: An unsettling, poetic horror fic featuring a grieving Walburga Black. The whole fic is structured like a poem, with rhythm and repetition and metaphor shining through.
Excerpt:
He had her face. He had her scowl. He had her loathsome, loathing heart that mourned and loved. Hell dwelled in him, as a warm and heartful thing calved of mother.
The last of earth's make she held was son. His hands were placed in prayerful clasp over her belly.
The lamb in her was of Tartary, born of son fed and killed with milk and honey, birthed of widow's mourning.
"It is all right," Sirius said, and held her to him as if she weren't damned.
Runaway Boys by Delphi
Summary: Severus dreams of pirates, and Lily closes the nursery window. Thoughts: I'm not sure if I have recommended this fic before, but I am recommending it again, just in case. This is a wonderfully strange coming of age, a tale of puberty told in dreams/ fantasies featuring Snape and Captain Hook. Excerpt:
"Severus S—" He cuts himself off and then tentatively amends: "Prince. Severus Prince."
It's a better name, he's decided. His new friends at school know the Princes, but they've never heard of any Snapes.
"That is a fine name, Mr. Prince," the man says. "As for me, I am Captain James Hook."
A large hand extends into the branches, and after a moment, Severus carefully leans down and shakes it.
"Pleased to meet you," Severus says.
"Are those friends of yours?" the captain asks, nodding towards the neighbouring island, where the boys are now riding wild ponies bareback, jousting with each other using lances made of hollow reeds.
Severus shrugs. Of course, he thinks, the man would rather know them.
Note: Please check the pairings and tags in each of these fics and keep in mind your own triggers :)
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lesser-vissir · 1 year
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I don't think TME people truly understand how badly being a trans woman poisons every interaction you have with a stranger. How paralyzing it is.
Knowing that no matter who it is their first reactions will be disgust.
Marginalized people of all kinds will get it, to an extent. Being a brown man felt much the same in several regards. Being disabled and having to sometimes use a cane can sometimes feel the same. But as a trans woman, and on that basis alone, it has felt so much more total. So omnipresent.
Maybe it was cause when you're Brown there's at least other brown people and most white people are only passively racist rather than actively. But there are so so few trans women and most live lives just as isolated as yours. Aside from the ones I know personally, the trans women in my town are people like door dash drivers, gas station cashier's, and walmart greeters. Not the people at the unemployment agency, not the receptionist at the doctor's office, much less the doctor, not the plumber, not your manager, not your coworkers. Not to mention that time people largely do not hide their disgust for you. Their confusion. Their horror.
And when you're disabled there's at least an aspect of pity or understanding from most people. Not so for being a trans woman.
Those are really the only two other axis of oppression which are readily appearently at a glance to a stranger I can speak on so I won't touch any others.
And I am truly lucky to have found several TME people that treat me well, even if I don't know any other trans women irl very well. But even then it's not the same.
And since this must be touched on. As it always must if you dare mention transmisogyny. I think the not getting it applies to TME trans people as well. My AFAB nb roommate surely does not face this level of paralysis. I know this as a matter of fact, not speculation. And while I cannot do anything but share word of mouth I know that it is not true for most TME trans people to face this universal rejection.
In fact I think I can now pinpoint the specific phenomena that drove trans women to develop the term theyfab. It was never about AFAB trans people who considered themselves women. It was anger and jealously (which I do not condemn) towards the fact that your average cis woman will feel infinitely more kinship with a trans man than a trans woman. Will see themselves in a trans man when interacting with them but only disgust and fear when looking at us. Not even to mention the difference in treatment for AFAB trans people who don't medically transition.
Trans women only have each other to look to and hope for a safe interaction with a stranger. TME trans people have far more support from cis people.
Honestly the only group I feel that gets it would be fat people. Who understand that same visceral reaction. Well, I guess not just fat people but anyone considered an ugly horror. Anyone for whom society has written off because their disgust at their existence absolves them from having to care.
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nanamunath · 2 years
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No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her
Vampire!Eddie x Fem!Reader
Warnings: talks of grief and loss of a loved one, mentions of death, stranger things season 4 spoilers duh, the reader has a panic attack and experiences something similar to derealization, mentions of scars, slight angst.
A/N: Hiii, It's been so so long since I've written anything for fandom. I wanted to give it a try, i didn't have anyone proofread this so... Yeah, let's just jump straight to it.
🖤
As i stared into the eyes of the boy i once dreamed of building a life with from across the vast green of the woods surrounding us, i felt cold to my bones, like the coldest breeze had blew right through me, icing me from the inside out. I couldn't move, i couldn't speak, i felt as if my heart was an icy stone and it had dropped to the bottom of my stomach.
Fear.
I never thought the day would come when i would be something other than excited to see that face, that i would be wanting to turn heel and run away from him instead of into his arms so i could get lost within his scent, feel the strands and curls of his hair grace my cheeks and tickle my nose, feel the planes and reliefs of his chest under the fabric of those old faded band tshirts he always opted to wear outside school, on the days he was not wearing his Hellfire club t-shirt. Always so proud of showing it off and then becoming shy and bashful when somebody asked who designed the logo cause it was all his idea and he had sketched it over and over despite not being the greatest at drawing until it came to be what is was.
Now as you stared into his once warm eyes, all you felt was terror. That's not him, that's not him. Your mind screamed at you.
Have you ever heard about the uncanny valley? Gosh, Eddie and i talked about this a couple summers ago, he saw it on a sciency magazine somewhere, something about robots or robotic parts that resembled too much the appearance of something organic and human caused a negative response in humans, whether that reaction be of disgust or fear or uneasyness... Rejection. He had wanted to implement that in his story telling, trying to figure out how to do it, how to paint a picture of something so seamlessly ordinary and human but that it actually wasn't, how to make the players fall for it until they didn't and have them get to that point of feeling uneasy even before he revealed the plot twist and the true nature of whatever it was that was in their presence.
Well, as i held his eyes, there was something in the back of my mind that warned me to not be fooled, whatever this was infront of me, standing in the middle of the woods behind the trailer park, with what looked to be dry leaves and caked mud and dirt covering his- it's hair, clothes and face, despite being an almost identical replica of that boy i adored and spent countless evenings with, it was not him.
Struggling to piece whatever it was that made me so uneasy, my eyes searched for something, anything, to help me understand what it was, why my body was reacting in such visceral ways to... A dream? An hallucination, maybe?
Cause there was no way that what i was seeing was part of reality, my reality at least. He was gone. He is gone. Present tense.
Dustin said it, he said, he saw him die. He died and Wayne and I mourned him, we didn't even have a body to bury, like many other families in Hawkins, we only had memories and broken hearts to go by.
Only left with drawers full of clothes from the ones we lost, boxes full of his music cassettes, his magazines and band posters, old notebooks filled with scribbled notes and countless ideas for his campaigns... Stuff that neither of us, two of the very few people who actually knew him, can part from, cause it's all that's left, the only thing that proved that he was there once. That he existed and that he made us happy, that he loved and was loved by someone.
That means that at the moment i must be dreaming... But this is different.
I've dreamt of him before, many times. I've dreamt of him returning to me, of all of these past months being just a bad dream, and I wake up and find I'm in Ms. O'Donnell's class and he's sitting next to me, with that far away look in his eyes he gets when he's lost in daydream land.
In those dreams i stare at him in awe and relief, glad that it was over now, that life will go on now, go on as it should. Sometimes in those dreams I'd cry, somehow nobody else in the class would notice or acknowledge it, he would turn to me with surprise and worry written in his eyes, always those damn expressive eyes of him, until something in him seems to click and he just smiles knowingly, like him and I are both in on the same secret, like he understands how much it tore me apart to see myself enduring life without him, and then he'll open up his arms and I'd get up from my seat and run into them. Ms. O'Donnell frozen mid sentence, the rest of the students unmoving, like a movie on pause. It's just him and I and i tell him that I miss him and he laughs.
I dream of that. That's what my dreams of him feel like.
Never have I felt this in a dream before, this dread. This visceral rejection towards him, is so strong it makes me wanna weep and scream, my heart and mind want to feel happy to have him here but my body is trying to run away, but why would I run away? It's Eddie! He's here now.
Right?
Or not... I start clicking the pieces together one by one. Coming to a slow realization of what is wrong with this image that is presented to me.
That's not mud in his white t-shirt... That looks a lot like when i split my chin during gym class, the blood trailed down my neck into the white uniform from my old school, before I moved to Hawkins. I didn't want to bother the teacher, so i went and sat on the bleachers, quietly, using a couple napkins i had on my bag to press down on the cut till it stopped bleeding. My mom freaked out when she saw the dry blood, it had dried and got this copperish brown tone against the white of the tshirt.
Much like the one covering his own now.
His skin looked unusually pale and sickly. His eyes... Those eyes, once brown and warm and full of life, they were cold and dead, color a deep, all consuming jet black and they were set on me as if i was...
Prey. I am prey.
That's what's yelling at me to run, my own instincts, that long forgotten something in me, that those who were in this earth way before us, needed in order to survive in the wild with beast and predators a lot bigger and stronger roaming around. A fight or flight response, my monkey brain deemed that this was a fight i was meant to loose, so i needed to flee the scene.
I can't die, i need to be there for the little ones.
Help Dustin rebuild the Hellfire club from scratch after this hateful town took it and, just like they try to do with everything good, destroyed it. He can't do it on his own, i was going to help him, eventually we'll clean Eddie's name, his legacy.
We'll take care of those lost little sheep, he promised him and I am going to make sure nobody got in the way of him fulfilling that promise he made to the boy that was my best friend, my first love.
So i take a slow deep breath and i turn around- with utter horror I realize my feet are glued to the floor before I can even take the first step, my breathing is superficial, chest moving up and down rapidly but i feel as if I'm suffocating. My heart beating so fast I'm sure it's going to explode in my chest, the blood rushing through my body so loud i fear I'm going to go deaf.
And then he- it speaks. With his voice.
"You wound me darling... I thought you would have missed me."
I can't speak. I can't move. I have my back turned on it and i can't do anything. This is surely the end of me... I close my eyes and try to will myself to wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up.
"Darling... Open your eyes" he says, tone not quite scolding me, i can't help but obey it's command, despite not wanting to.
The sight that greets me is one of a swirling black pool, devoid of light, devoid of warmth. I immediately feel something within myself change, a voice inside of me whispers, tells me that surrendering it's easier, just do what you are supposed to do. Roll over, expose your neck in submission, bare your throat for it to feed and maybe it will take pity on you.
It's how it's supposed to be, it's what will keep the balance in this fragile ecosystem. Whatever this is... Is an apex predator and i've fallen right into it's claws. The more i struggle to break free, the more painful it will be. Just-
"Stop" Eddie's voice speaks again and it's like I'm suddenly out of a trance. Those eyes are not staring straight at me but looking away now. "Don't- just don't do that, please" the voice is almost pleading, he sounds restrained, talking through gritted teeth and it's like a spell has been broken, the air around me suddenly doesn't feel as oppressive anymore.
"I... I'm not doing anything" i manage to whisper, voice shaky, body still thrumming with adrenaline.
"No, i know, i know that" he says, frown deepening, shaking his head as if trying to put his thoughts together. "I don't know how to not do it. I'm- I'm still getting used to this, the superpowers thing, I'm sorry"
I don't say anything. If this is a dream it's the weirdest i ever had. I still can't move a single muscle in my body and i can feel my legs start to tingle and cramp from being standing in place, unnaturally still for so long.
"I just wanted to see you" His voice cracks a little bit and when he looks at me again the tears catching in his waterline resemble my own that are rapidly building, whether it's because of the fact that i never thought I'd hear his voice again or it's in response to the adrenaline I'm feeling, it's hard to tell. "I missed you so much"
"You were the one who left" i croak out. This is by far the cruelest dream my mind has come up with, this is not a dream, this is an absolute nightmare and I'm growing fed up with it. "And now... Now you only come back in dreams."
"What... No, darling. I'm- I'm right here." He says. "I'm sorry i was gone for so long but I promise you, I will explain it to you, i just... Need time to put myself together again. Cause I've changed, something happened to me, i-"
"You died... You're dead Eddie, this is- I'm gonna wake up and that won't ever change, it will still be the same as it has been for the past months, I'm gonna wake up and try to live a life without you." I choke on my own sobs that threaten to rip from my throat. "this is so unfair. Why is my mind doing this to me now? dreams are supposed to be good, are supposed to be painless."
I flinch when cold hands land on my wet cheeks, he's freezing as he cups my face in his hands and looks at me with so much pain.
I'm in shock at how real this dream feels, i start to wonder when exactly on the journey from the trailer park to Hawkins high school i fell into this strange state of sleep, i wonder if I even left Wayne's trailer at all, maybe I'm late to the meeting with Dustin and the rest of the Hellfire club... If they even showed up at all, maybe it's just Dustin and Mike sitting there, waiting for me. I should wake up now, go to them. Wake up, wake up, wake up.
His voice breaks me away from my thoughts "My darling... I'm so sorry. I promise you I will explain everything" for a moment this conjuration from my mind gives me that look, that look that only Eddie would give me, nobody else ever looked at me like that, i didn't think i was even capable of conjuring such look with just my memories. "This is not a dream, I'm really here"
And just like before i can't help but believe him, despite how wrong everything feels, the dread I felt at the start is back with full force at the realization that this isn't something my head is making up, this is happening, the reality sinks in and my head feels foggy, suddenly i can't tell what's real and what's not, or who i am, my body is both there and not quite there and i can't help but wince as i start feeling the tip of my fingers go numb, nothing is making sense anymore.
I can tell I'm falling to my knees but at the same time the feeling of the humid grass under my knees doesn't fully register on my brain, like I'm just an invisible witness, like I'm not in control of my body anymore and the rest of my body feels too heavy on it's own, without it's puppeteer... I just do nothing as gravity takes it down with it, eyelids doing the same thing, falling shut as consciousness slips away from me and I'm just floating around in the darkness, i can hear a voice calling me but it's very far away from me, i ignore it and decide that it's better to sleep this feeling away.
I wake up to the high pitched, insisting ringing of a phone, looking around I realize I'm at Wayne's trailer, more specifically in Eddie's room, it looks the same as it did when I left this afternoon, his stuff hasn't been moved since he disappeared but now some of my things also adorne his desk and the foot of his bed, i have been staying here often, just wanting to feel closer to him.
I hear the shower running and the phone keeps on ringing, getting up i walk into the small kitchen/living room space, not bothering to close the door of the bedroom after me knowing Wayne wouldn't be home soon, since finding out about Eddie's death he has been working more and more hours to the point he barely comes home.
"HELLO? Y/n what the hell?" Dustin's angry voice is what greets me from the other side of the line. "You stood us up today, we waited two whole hours for you, TWO."
"Dustin I'm so sorry, i-" What excuse could I come up with... How do I even explain the experience i had. Or i dreamed I had? "How did you know i was here?"
"When you didn't show up i got worried so i asked your parents." The honesty in his tone made my heart ache, this kid... "Listen, i know it's not easy, wherever you went Eddie was attached to your hip and viceversa, even before i knew the both of you, everyone knew what you had was something special. I'll give you all the time you need just... Don't shut us out, we cared for him too. It might be a bit easier if we go through this together, you don't have to suffer alone."
My chest was sinking with every word he said, this grief i had been carrying was too much for me to explain, so heavy it had me crumbling every time i got home from school or work, feeling every time i tried to put it into words that the only thing that was going to come out of my mouth was my bloody bruised heart barely beating now without one of the main reasons it was ever whole to begin with.
When i didn't say anything he continued "maybe it's too soon to be resuming Hellfire meetings, i just thought maybe it would be nice... To put something together, Gareth came around, he said he'll see if the rest of Corroded Coffin would be down for one last session before they left town and I'm not the most experienced DM but you know." I could hear a slight wince in his voice, it was rare to hear Dustin sound so unsure. "I thought it would be nice to put something together, for Eddie."
"I know kiddo... I know it's just- listen, I'm truly sorry for leaving you waiting, i promise not to do that again. And i think it's a wonderful idea, seriously. You can bet your ass I'll be there, I'll have to bring tissues with me but you know" We both laugh lightly. "I'll pick you up tomorrow and we can start planning the whole thing, how does that sound?"
"You better not leave me waiting this time, I'll let the rest of the guys know" After we both said our goodbyes i hang the phone with a sigh, finally registering the sound of the shower running that i heard earlier was no longer in the background.
Not knowing what to expect i looked over and saw the bathroom door was slightly ajar, steam streaming out from it. I grabbed a kitchen knife from one of the drawers nearby and slowly made my way towards Eddie's bedroom door that was now closed.
Grabbing the doorknob i twisted it open, knife held high, i bursted into the room and saw a figure standing in the middle of it that made me freeze in place.
Sweatpants hanging low from his hips, there was Eddie Munson in all of his disheveled glory, hair wet and tangled on top of his head, curls weighted down by the water still clinging to them and dripping down his shoulders and back but still looking magnificent in the way it fell messily around his face. My eyes drifted lower to his chest, there were the tattoos that he showed off proudly at any chance he had, i was there when he got some of them, holding his hand while he tried to pretend it didn't hurt at all.
New marks covered his torso too, these ones in the form of what looked to be recently healed wounds and scarred tissue. In different pink and lavender tones... Some seemed to have belonged to very deep wounds, other probably scratches or friction burns. My breath caught in my throat at he sight, my whole self trying to imagine and then emulate the pain that he must have gone through, cause whatever it was that he was going through i always felt it the same as if it was my own heart and body that was in pain, i could never bear to leave him alone not even in his suffering.
Feeling the knot start to form in my throat i dropped the knife to cover my mouth to stop sobs from escaping, it hadn't been a dream, he was here... What happened to him?
"Eddie, Jesus Christ, Eddie" i managed to let out as i ran into his arms, getting lost in him as i always used to do, he wasn't the biggest guy out there, but he was definitely broad and a couple inches taller than me, enough to always make me feel safe and tucked in his embrace. Tears falling freely into his naked chest, i sneaked my arms around his middle, holding on tightly, having missed what it felt like to have him so close to me every day for the last couple of months.
"There you are darling, oh dear. I was so scared when you passed out on me" he said into my head, wrapping his tattooed arms around me.
"You have no idea what it's been like, being without you." I couldn't stop crying, even when he was here with me, i couldn't quite stop myself from feeling he would be taken from me again.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." He replied, his bare skin felt cool to the touch. A pit started to grow inside of me as i realized that i couldn't feel anything under the cheek that was pressed against him, against his chest, nor could I hear the two toned beat of his heart inside of it. Paying attention i was able to tell that his chest wasn't even moving with breath intakes and exhales.
Untangling myself from him with a gasp, i looked at this alien Eddie, standing right in front of me, once again feeling something was not quite right. He immediately noticed it, he always read me like a book, pressed his lips tightly for a moment, the hurt in his eyes was evident as he slowly raised his hands up trying to appease me.
"Please don't be scared of me, i would never do anything to hurt you, y/n" He said. "I know this is fucking crazy, i know how it looks like... I get accused of brutally murdering a girl in this trailer and then i go into running and then a fucking earthquake destroys the bloody town and now I'm back and I'm... Like this. I don't even know where to start or how to explain everything that happened, i don't even know how much Dustin told you about it, i asked him to keep you out of it to protect you-"
"Wait, Dustin... Dustin knew you were alive all this time?"
"No! No! He doesn't know. He thinks I'm dead... Oh well, I'm sure i died. But i came back and I'm different now and i was so fucking terrified of coming back like this so i hid and I was so fucking thirsty, i- i didn't know if it was safe for you to be around me so i didn't come back immediately, but i wanted to, Jesus y/n, it was all i wanted, all i could think of." He was pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair, finger and rings getting tangled in it. "You have to believe me that i never wanted to leave you alone, i swear. I was so scared too and in so much pain and I knew that you would make it better, you would be there for me but i couldn't risk hurting you, i can't barely control this... This powers i have now. Like earlier when i made you do things, i didn't mean to do that, i don't know how to will it to go away when i say anything."
"Okay okay, hold on, Eddie I'm so confused... Am I loosing my mind?" I sat in his bed, the bed where i had been sleeping, trying to surround myself with his scent. "I think i might have lost my mind, it's not every day that your tragically deceased love comes back from the dead and goes on about having super powers"
I feel the bed dip with a weight right next to me although i couldn't hear any steps or shuffling as he made his way to me.
"Believe me darling, I've thought that i may have lost my mind too... If i even had it for a start" He chuckled and i couldn't help but snort at it. "Y/n, I'm terrified, i don't know what this is supposed to mean but I feel... Different, very different."
"You look different, changed." I said, finally looking at him again. "It's like... Earlier, when i saw you in from of me, it was like watching something else, something dangerous. Even though I didn't want to be scared of you, my body kept trying to run away. And when I realized i couldn't, i could only think of... Surrendering, resignation. Even before you controlled me into accepting it was real and not a dream. It was instinctual. And it is kinda still there, even if i know it's just you and I would never be afraid of you, is such a visceral reaction. As if I'm a prey and you're..." My words hang heavy in the air between us as we look at each others eyes.
"I get it. I feel it too. I can feel a lot of things now, and hear them too. Your heart pumping, your blood rushing, i can smell it in you, that you were terrified earlier and now even though you are calm, you're still wary." he says. "And I also know that if you had had the chance to run earlier, i would've had no other choice but to hunt you down. Whatever it is that changed me, made me into something that is a lot more in touch with it's baser instincts and needs, besides being a lot more powerful. Sometimes i can't control myself " i feel myself shiver at his words. Not quite understanding what he meant by these instincts and needs.
"I know you would never hurt me" I whisper and bring my hand to hold his cold one that is fidgeting in his lap. "Whatever this is, we'll figure it out together, Eddie"
"I don't know what I'd do without you" He replied and i could see how his eyes turned watery, lower lip wobbling and i knew this was my Eddie, i had gotten him back, perhaps a bit changed but it was him, and I would anything in my power to protect him, i wouldn't let anyone or anything take him away from me again. So i reached out and i held him close to me, whispering sweet promises and reassurances into his still wet hair as he cried in my arms.
I was still very confused and had many questions, but those could wait, tonight my boy needed me and there was no force strong enough in this world to prevent me from following Eddie Munson wherever he asked me to. No power great enough to keep me from giving him whatever he may need from me without even thinking of the consequences.
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shinidamachu · 2 years
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It’s seems like director is aware of how pathetic sesshomaru is during yashamine. I remember way back when the show first started and the director stated we were going to see sesshomaru suffer in yashamine and have to make tough decisions. Sesshomaru literally does nothing through yashamine. He just walks around and then stares at rin during her time in the fish bowl. All of his “tough decisions” were made selfishly and could have been talked about with inukag. He wasn’t a great father, husband, or brother. Yet the director is trying to use two of the fan favorite characters (kagome and moroha) to gaslight everyone into think sesshomaru was a great father that was misunderstood. Shipper might be stupid enough to buy the director is excuse (and yes they are now using moroha words to say sesshomaru was indeed a great father) but regular fans can see it’s completely bullshit. I know sesshomaru had a small character development in inuyasha but damn they truly did assassinated his character yashamine.
Oh, he is aware of it. No doubt about it. Social media has made it possible for the producers to know the audience's reaction to certain aspects of a show in real time. They know our expectations, our complaints, what worked and what didn't. Then they take this information and to the best of their abilities, try to adapt the show to addres those concerns in an attempt to please and cultivate the viewers.
Just look at how Moroha was treated in season one – not only in the story itself, but also advertising wise – and how she was treated in season two. The same with Inuyasha and Kagome, who at first had very scarce content but recently got promotional art after promotional art. It's clear they tried to focus on the Sessrin family initially but it didn't wake the audience's interest the way they hoped it would so they recalculated the route.
And if you ask me, this is probably one of the many reasons why Sessrin didn't get any real romantic interaction. From the beginning, people already feared this couple was gonna happen and the reaction against it when it was confirmed was even more visceral than Sunrise expected so they got reticent about making it worse by going full disgusting – which I think they were going to do, considering how the second opening juxtaposed a child Rin and Sesshomaru scene with a romantic Inukag one.
Another example is the cursed manga, which fixed pretty much everything we've been complaining about with the notable exception of the biggest, most obvious one. But it didn't mean they weren't aware of it. So much that at least Rin was drawn like an actual adult woman on it. Even the anime went out of its way to make Jaken soothe our worries by explicitly saying that Rin was most definitly 18 years old, he thinks, probably, if he can remember correcly.
And that's exactly what happened with Sesshomaru's characterization as a father. During Inuyasha, we've literally seen him in action as someone who has a child under his protection. We've seen how caring, helpful and present he was. So when they dropped this "rite of courage and cowardice" on us and made him act like the worst father in the history of fathers, of course we took just a little bit of issue with the complete horseshit, character assassination, absolute fucking nonsense that this is.
But instead of backing down, Sunrise doubled down. They could try and write themselves out of this mess. Personally, I thought Sesshomaru was acting that cold because his plan involved using the Windmill of Time to reboot the timeline they were in so in the end of the day his actions wouldn't matter because everything would be erased anyway and that's what Sunrise was going for. It's still shady and incredibly risky, yes, but it would have been way easier for me to accept. Or literally any other similar solution.
But be it because they thought it was too late (I recognize it's a huge change that would take too much work, especially in such a short period of time) or because there was an actual plot reason (mind you, I stopped watching it after episode four and the few things I know come from screenshots, especific clips and general commentary), the fact remais that they stood by it. But they still had to address the problem. And they did it by indirectly spoon feeding their case to the audience.
Imagine the twins are the viewers. We doubt that Sesshomaru worried or even cared about the girls because of the selfish, illogical and heartless choices he has made, especially concerning them.
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We questioned the fact that he sat around and did nothing as his children faced mortal danger time and time again when he could easily have helped the out.
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We pointed out how it wasn't fair or reasonable to dump so many responsibilities on the shoulders of these 14 years old kids, especially when it was his mess to clean up, the consequences of his decisions that were his mistakes to fix and his alone.
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We compared the type of father he was to what we knew Inuyasha was gonna be, which was later confirmed: loving, responsible, caring, protective, reliable, helpful and so on...
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But Sunrise, just like you said, used the characters to manipulate us into thinking that we got it all backwards. They tried to make it seem like the difference is because Inuyasha is a simple, "easy to undestand" character while Sesshomaru is this very complex man who is being wronged by everybody. We just aren't enlightened enough to understand the poor thing.
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Because, after all, he's a strong demon who collected countless enemies through the years. Enemies that would not hesitate to attack his daughters if they got the chance, so it's better to tough them up.
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So what if the training was way too cruel? So what if he never explained his reasons to the girls? So what if they couldn't understand why their father, the person who was supposed to help and protect them, made them go through it on purpose when he had the option not to? So what if they hated him for it? So what if they thought he was far too unforgiving?
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Everything is fine because in the end of the day he put them through all of this so they wouldn't lose to any bully. It was a lesson that makes total sense and that they should actually be grateful for.
Except that they were literal babies. And I'm not even exaggerating. They were literal babies when he abandoned them to their own luck. One of them spent 10 years in a different dimension because of it. They were killed and brought back to life in the process. And most importantly: he could have taught them how to fight and protect themselves from anything without leaving them behind.
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That being said, the choice of making Kagome saying to a rightfully pissed off Inuyasha that Sesshomaru had his reasons to act the way he did, then Rin and Moroha explaining said reasons to the confused twins is a deliberate tactic of manipulation. They're using characters they know we love to say what they want us to believe because it's easier for us to agree with them.
It's also easier to make characters tell things than to show those things to us. And that's what it all comes down to: the "show, don't tell" rule. They might tell us Rin was 18 years old, but they showed us that she was still pretty much a child. They might tell us Sesshomaru had his reasons to treat his children like crap: he wanted them to be strong enough to protect themselves. But what they showed us is that he was a shitty ass father.
That being said, I think it's naive to think shippers were stupid enough to buy it. For my own sanity, I have to believe no one over the age of 12 would fall for that bullshit. No. Deep down they know it makes no sense. What happens is that they choose to pretend they don't because it fits the narrative where their bias lies. That's it.
Rin looks like a child, sounds like a child, acts like a child, but Jaken expressly said she was 18 years old and that's something they can actually use against our narrative so they do it even though they know it's not true. Now the same thing is happening to Sesshomaru questionable parenting skills and Kagome, Rin and Moroha's lines. It doesn't matter the tell "contradicts" the "show" as long as the can throw the "tell" on our faces to try and convince us (and themselves) that they're right.
As for what the directors stated before the show, well... we're well past that. Yes, they lied about the mom being a mystery, they lied about Inuyasha getting a role in the story, they lied about every detail being a clue, they lied about Sesshomaru suffering and making tough decisions. And they did it all for money. Simple as that.
Now they're lying to manipulate us into thinking that we just don't get Sesshomaru at all.
But we do.
They are the ones who never did.
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pleasantanathema · 3 years
Text
Eren Yeager | Salt in the Wound
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Pairing: Eren Yeager x Fem!Reader
Rating: Explicit (18+ Only)
Warnings: Dacryphilia, Degradation, Slapping, Daddy Kink, Eren is fucking mean
Word Count: 1.1k
A/N: This is part of my Nine Muses Event to celebrate 9k! Follow the link to read more fanfics I am writing to celebrate. Heed the warnings; I like a very mean, god-complex kind of characterization of Eren. 💕
          Nothing made Eren feel more powerful than seeing you cry, not just from cruel words, but from being so wholly overwhelmed by the sin he poured into your body. Your tears were always so warm, so pretty, spilling over your cheeks and getting caught in your lashes like dew droplets in spring.
           Sometimes he couldn’t help but kiss them away, just another part of you to swallow and devour.
           He enjoyed taking you because you weren’t just some subservient little devil, no, you were good, you were strong, and overpowering you was like an addiction, something he had to have whenever the urge hit. It didn’t matter where you were, what assignments you’d be given, Eren would find you, push you down onto your knees, your back, and he would take you. You were just another thing to conquer.
           “Gonna bruise your insides tonight, fuck,” your tight pussy had him panting above you, hips brutal and sweat dripping through the rolling sinews of his back.
           You were already babbling nonsense, the euphoria of his cock spreading up your nerves and making you lightheaded. Dull green eyes were observant of your reactions, the judge and jury over your fate as he watched the pulls in your pretty face.
           He’d been edging you for so long, bringing you closer and closer to orgasm only to pull out and slap the head of his cock against your aching clit. He just liked the sounds you made, sweet little whines and pleas that made his pointed ears twitch.
           But it wasn’t enough; he wanted more, deserved a more visceral action for allowing you the pleasures of the flesh.
           Propped on one elbow, weight sinking into the mattress, Eren gripped your jaw, pushing your head back. “You’re fucking disgusting. You don’t deserve my cock, you’re just easy to control.”
           Words were forming in your mouth, he could feel them under the press of his fingers. But you choked them back, the stupid little emotions running through your head starting to bubble over.
  ��        Good. Whenever you got choked up, your cunt only clenched harder around him.
           You swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath before parting your lips, “Ere—”
           Your skin flushed so hot when he slapped your cheek, hard, quick, like a cat swatting at easy prey. The sound you made was too perfect, a painful gasp bleeding into a shrill little sob, like he’d actually hurt you beyond just the sting of skin. Like he’d put a wound in your pride.
           “That’s not what you call me.”
           There was fear in your eyes as you looked up at him, irises tracing over the lines still etched in his face from his titan transformation. Less than an hour ago he’d been a monster, waiting in the seas and capsizing ships, and now he was just a new kind of predator, one that received pleasure from bending your legs too far back and breaking you down in anguish.
           Eren slapped you again just to encourage those tears he loved so much. He was successful, holding back a grin you whimpered, nose scrunching, salty tears streaming down your temples and staining the pillow.
           “I-I’m sorry, daddy.” Oh you were so far gone, hands reaching up to twist in his hair, bringing his lips to brush against your swollen ones.
           He smirked as he licked against your teeth, mirthful and wild as he started to thrust deeper inside of you, curling your hips back and as the meat of your thighs began to shake. He pinched your flushed cheek, laughing at the poor little coo that left your throat.
           Your abused, gummy walls were sucking him in deeper, fluttering as your belly tightened from the coil of pleasure he was building inside of you. He groaned at the feeling, shoving his head in the space between your neck and shoulder, teeth nipping at sweaty skin. Your hands were slipping in his hair, fingers catching the tie that held his hair back and making mousy hair spill over his face.
           Frustration split down his psyche at the feel of long hair sticking to his skin, getting in the way of sucking marks into your neck.
           “You better start begging,” he warned, sitting up higher on his knees so he could press his cock a little too roughly into your cunt, his toned stomach rhythmically slapping against your clit, “beg your daddy to let you cum.”
           The cry that met his ears was delicious. You hated this part, hated having to grovel, hated how you felt so good that you just couldn’t stand it. He felt your nails against his scalp, clawing, burning, egging him on. He pawed at one of your bouncing tits, twisting your nipple between his fingers until you screamed.
           “Please! Please, daddy, w-wanna cum so bad,” he kept pressure on your nipple, pistoning his hips a little harder, getting into a solid rhythm that had your teary eyes rolling back.
           He loved how your pussy felt sculpted to him like this, like every vein on his cock had carved a home on your walls, the texture of you so perfect that he hated to admit it took strength to hold himself back from finding that heaven inside of you.
           “You can do better, just a little more.”
           “Fuck,” you whined, the floodgates letting loose now. He lifted his head to watch you, your crying face like a beacon between the unruly curtains of his hair. Something inside of him wanted to praise you, tell you looked so pretty when you cried, that you were being so good letting go for him, but he didn’t want to ruin the show. Praise could be a balm.
           “Pathetic.”
           He gripped your thighs, sitting back so he could watch his cock be wrapped by your swollen, wet pussy, lips dragging along his length with every quick push and pull.
           “DaddyDaddyDaddy, f-fuck, please, so c-close, hurts.”
           That tickled him pink, had his eyes lighting up as he felt some sick pride awaken and crawl out of his chest. It truly was pathetic how quickly you came when his thumb touched your clit, just a few measly swirls and you were a blubbering mess, cunt squelching as slick gushed from your tight hole. He pulled out of you as you orgasmed, leaving your pussy to spasm around nothing, your arms crossing over your eyes as you fell into hearty sobs.
           He ripped your forearms away from your face, stroking his cock hard and fast as he straddled your body. He swore that he’d never come so hard before, cum spurting from his pulsing cock and painting your face, dripping down your cheeks. He felt relief deep in his balls, over all his muscles, strings of cum still pouring over you, mixing into your tears.
           And he left you there, sniffling, wiping away salty cum and even saltier tears, not knowing when he’d come for you again.
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mxtxsblog · 3 years
Text
SJ wasn't a monster to LBH.
I imagine you had noticed that I have a new baby, Shen Jiu.
Yes, I binged all SVSSS (the animation, not yet all the book) and the character I devote myself to he’s the character who appears for roughly 10 seconds. This is art.
Never fear, I will return to Xue Yang rants soon.
But anyway. I love love love love SJ and he 100% deserved better and if you don’t love him, I suggest blocking me.
Because I love my precious hateful baby and no, I’m not gonna stop.
So, SJ is not just a misunderstood villain, is THE misunderstood villain. I mean, all of his crimes were false (aside from his cruelty against LBH)!!!
Killing his martial brother? He was trying to save him! (a man who despised, humiliated, hurt him)
Going to brothels? For being able to sleep, FFS!
And so go on.
In the end, he was innocent or had excusable circumstances.
So I really want to take every accusation against him with a grain of salt, because the truth was (incredibly!) different.
And with all those lies, it’s interesting that no other student said that he was cruel against them, too.
So, I present you my theory (and I consider this canon): SJ wasn't a monster to LBH.
Yes, he was cruel. Yes, he mistreated and humiliated him. No, he wasn't a monstrous abusive scum.
(really broken emotional English under the cut)
In MXTX's novels harsh and physical discipline is expected and well-tolerated. Yes, SJ was way crueler than the norm (YQY told him about it, after all), but I don't think it was anything similar to what SJ had to suffer as a slave (or the petty cruelty that Xue Yang).
Proofs:
1- No other abused students. Strange, if SJ was so cruel.
2- Ning Yingying wasn't disgusted by the situation, only annoyed by the cruelness of the other boys. She even told LBH to go to Shizun to ask for help. Yes, she could be naive, but she was not a stupid girl.
3- LBH wasn't crippled, nor killed. If SJ really wanted to do this, he had the opportunity to do it.
4- All the peaks lords hated the demons. I have no doubt every one of them would have tried to kill LBH during the reveal.
5- At the start of the series, LBH doesn't hate/despise his shizun, even if he's living in poor conditions. So they weren't so poor?
6- The list of sufferings the system makes at the start isn't monstrous.
I'm not saying that SJ was right in his treatment of LBH! He was wrong, he abused his power and he was unfair! It was terrible, calling him a beast, not doing anything about the bullying, using lots of physical discipline, all of this.
But he wasn't a monster. He wasn't. What LBH did to him was disproportionate retribution (and how!!! Even canon said every sin against him was multiplied by 1000!).
If the tragic backstory of our villain protagonist woobie destroyer of the world, evil overlord, is "my teacher was mean to me", it really sucks. Overlord LBH is a disgusting torturer, petty, cruel, power-hungry. I really can't understand because so many people consider him justified. In universe, I can see it: a parody of violent protagonists loved by the readers.
I like overlord LBH! I love the beast. I love reading fics in which he is a monster. But I would never consider him good.
In a fandom that loves to villainy JC because he killed demonic cultivators (a rumor? self-defense? etc.), I'm surprised people love overlord LBH without irony but I didn't really expect anything better.
So, why in the world is LBH so hungry for vengeance? Why does he want to hurt hurt hurt (years of torment, right?) SJ? Why didn't he kill SJ and the hell with it? (as WXX did with the Wens who destroyed his home and killed his sect?) Why did he want to hurt him in a very personal way, reducing him to his plaything?
And no mistakes, LBH doesn't care about the other supposed crimes. Or yes, he cares because they are the proof that SJ was evil, his ticket to get a SJ to abuse torment torture forever. His reassuring that there was nothing good, nothing to save about his man. His tool to destroy SJ's reputation (even if he did have a poor reputation, to begin with).
I think it was because LBH was obsessed with SJ. Has always been, will forever be. A visceral heartbreaking soulcrushing mindsplattering obsession. So everything not good (so, everything) that SJ did to LBH, for him it was a critical point, please multiply x1000.
His cruelty, his neglect, his indifference, for many others would have been not so serious, in the end. But LBH's obsession made them the worst.
You don't torture destroy abuse a man for years if you didn't care for him. Just kill him. And what about when LBH told SJ he killed YQY?
LBH wasn't satisfied. Because he realized that SJ didn't lack a heart, he just didn't care for HIM.
And the extra when he meets a new Shizun? His reaction is not "Sick! A version of that bastard is married to a version of me, this really sucks!" but "Yes, Shizun, love me, fuck me, come home with me, be mine forever". Years after his SJ died, we have to guess. And STILL he's stuck in his obsession.
So yeah. I don't buy that SJ was a monster, but yes, he was wrong and he had to be stopped. But what LBH did to him was terrible and uncalled for.
(I am skeptical about the fact that SJ ordered his students to bully LBH. I really don't buy it, I think he simply didn't care it happened and was very harsh with him. But this is off the point).
In the end, LBH didn't care about right or wrong, he just wanted to possess SJ, and if he couldn't have him as a lover or a human pet, he would have had him as a plaything. That's all.
I think that if SJ wasn't cruel to him, but just didn't care about him, LBH would have been obsessed as well, maybe he would have kept him as a human pet to molest to his heart desire.
In the end, sure there are parallels between LBH and SJ's cruel situations.
But SJ was way way worse. For once, he was a slave, he couldn't escape, meanwhile, LBH could decide to go away anytime (and he didn't). I think SJ wanted him to go away because LBH really viscerally disgusted him, and so he hoped to drive him away. But LBH never did (and Xiao Jiu would have loved to be in his shoes and just go away).
Additionally, LBH was deeply obsessed with a man who was beautiful, elegant, interesting, but he didn't know almost anything about him. A sort of 1 d scum villain. If he had known the truth... I think this obsession would have multiplied (off cart, and it was already of the world). Because this wonderful broken man is even more interesting. I think he would have felt better to know he was in deep obsession with a so contradictory charming broken man. (So yes, all hail fics in which LBH discover the truth and it makes him even more obsessed).
To conclude: In the end, LBH became a monster, and SJ didn't.
To conclude 2: SJ suffered worse than LBH and went away saner (he wasn't, but LBH is worse).
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cupidcreates · 3 years
Note
Hi, I hope the last day of 2020 will be a success for you. I have a request for yandere Dabi and / or Chisaki when they hear that their dear, affectionate s/o call them "love" or "happiness of my life"
Affectionate Names
With Yanderes Dabi and Overhaul
(Oh my fucking GOD beech I’m SO SORRY this took LITERAL MONTHS to post. I promise I’m never gonna let an ask sit for that long again holy crap. I really hope this was worth the wait bestie, I tried really hard to make it cute for you nonny. Hope you like it!)
Touya Todoroki - Dabi
Disgust, Anger, Hatred, Fear, Dabi’s used to these emotions playing across the faces of the people he interacts with. He knows how he appears to others, how his very visage causes visceral reactions of discomfort in others. He’s fine with that, in fact he revels in it.
If it’s not the abject loathing of a stranger than it’s the cool detachment of his allies. Dabi finds a sort of warmth, even an odd sense of comfort in their gazes. It’s distant, reserved, and to the point; Dabi never has to question what his allies want from him or what their intentions are.
The indifference many find cold is rather temperate to Dabi. 
The fair weather is what he likes. Nothing too cold, nothing too hot, nothing can be resurrected from mild memories.
Dabi was content with this treatment.
Until he met you.
It had been a long time since anything stoked the kind of fire in his chest like you did. Heat typically coincided with anger, but you didn’t make him angry.
That’s not to say he didn’t mistake it for anger at first. He definitely wanted you dead, seemingly at random, for a few days after seeing you pass by him on the street.
But after a while of reflection he realized you didn’t ignite his hate the way thoughts of his family, his father, or society did.
No, this was a completely different feeling, something brand new.
Something to be explored, immediately.
There was something about you he needed, something you had that he had to get for himself.
And Dabi’s not one to not get his way.
He set out to have you, and have you he did. It took longer than he might have liked (though, anything but immediate compliance is too long for Dabi) and you put up a better fight than he would have expected but he did eventually get you swept away from your previous life.
In his mind he won you over.
In your mind, and in reality, he stole you away from your home in the dead of night and trapped you in an undisclosed location until you eventually broke and developed Stockholm syndrome.
After all, he wasn’t mean to you. He kept you fed and watered, the basement stayed a nice mild temperature, and the rats that scuttled about were actually kind of cute when you looked at them the right way.
You were eventually happy, which is what Dabi wanted as it finally allowed him to get close to you.
He wasn’t sure what he wanted from you. He’d started by simply sitting by your side (once you had calmed down enough to let him do so without screaming) then he progressed to holding you (awkward as it was at first) and once he could trust that you wouldn’t run off he allowed you free roam of the hideout.
Free roam as in you were attached to his hip.
He brought you nearly everywhere, as if he was a child and you were his favorite stuffed bear. He wasn’t sure why he felt he needed you around, but he figured he’d find out if he gave it enough time.
And it’s not like you were trouble, you were actually very helpful, getting him out of more than a few scrapes and sticky situations.
He eventually surmised that this, whatever you two had going on, was something like the affection he missed out on in his youth. It was nice to hold your hand, nice to sit you in his lap as he listened to Shigaraki drone on about his next plan, nice to spend a night with you on the rooftops. 
The time he spent with you didn’t strike a chord in him like his first encounter with you did, but he was content.
He could only ever be content.
He didn’t need anything stronger than baseline serenity.
Or so he thought.
He thought right up until the night he was sitting alone in his room (room being a generous term for the hovel hole in the wall he kept his nearly flattened mattress in) dissociating after a very long day.
Dabi tried not to dissociate frequently, it was best to stay aware of your surroundings when you’re a wanted criminal, but when he did allow himself to fall into this state he was typically here for hours. Nearly comatose as he fled back into his mind.
You knocking softly at the door went completely unnoticed, in fact he didn’t even realize you were there until you had entered the room and sat next to him on the mattress.
Your presence took him completely by surprise and shocked him out of his stupor. It took him a moment to recover his composure and re-mask, and in those several seconds with his guard down you saw Dabi’s face more youthful and innocent than you ever had.
You’d asked him a question, he was aware of that much, but the only thing he caught, the only thing he registered was the word at the very end of your sentence.
“Are you okay, love?”
Love
Rather forcefully Dabi was taken back to his childhood; before his quirk manifested, before his siblings were born to replace him, before his own family turned on him in favor of his youngest brother. It had been so long since someone had called him love; so long since his mother would come into his room early in the morning and brush his bangs out of his face, softly calling to him to wake him up and ready him for the day.
Having already been in a vulnerable state, the name cut through him like a knife. Shaken to his core by the memories ripped fresh in his mind he was, for the first time in his life, grateful that his tear ducts had been burned away so long ago.
He gave nothing away, his face already masked up again and his demeanor its typical cool indifference. He spoke to you as he always had, the tremble in his voice only perceptible to him.
He pushed his head into your shoulder and was silent for a while, just taking in you presence, before offhandedly telling you that he didn’t mind if you called him that again. In private of course.
Love
He thought he could get used to that.
Kai Chisaki - Overhaul
Open affection was not only not necessary in Chisaki’s life but also abjectly disgusting.
Perhaps he never really had good examples of tender kindness and open endearment as a child. Maybe he simply couldn’t comprehend affection in the way others could.
In any case, physical fondness and other such displays of the sentiment were completely foreign to Chisaki.
He didn’t mind this, he had much more pressing matters to attend to. Having a partner of any sort other than business would only slow him down.
Oh but you just had to come along, didn’t you? Had to go nosing around where you didn’t belong, a foolish venture already, and then you had to be incompetent's enough to get yourself caught waist deep in his business.
It didn’t matter, you didn’t matter, whatever you knew about what he was doing didn’t mean a damn thing. All he had to do now was keep you quiet.
For good.
He had to kill you, this much he knew. He’d have no issue doing it, after all who were you anyway? A nosy little cashier at a run-down shop on the brink of bankruptcy. You had no family, if you did they certainly didn’t care about you if the state of and neighborhood your apartment was located in was anything to go by.
You were a threat to the sanctity of his mission, a potential interference to his operation. Simply put you had to go. This was fine, nothing personal. Just business.
But oh you just had to didn’t you? Had to look at him with the most pathetically pleading eyes he’s ever seen as you begged him to let you live. You already knew what he was up to, undoubtedly you understood the torture and death he willingly inflicted upon others. You knew the pleading would do you no good, surely you knew your death was inevitable.
Except that it wasn’t, was it.
Because you had to, you had to come along with a face too sweet to be atomized. Had to, somehow, worm your way into his brain and stop him from dismantling your upper body.
Was this your quirk? Were you somehow influencing him? It had to be something of your doing, the tightness in his chest and warmth in his stomach was something of your doing.
He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t bring himself to destroy something so precious, so pure even. He just couldn’t do it.
But no obstacle comes without workarounds, and he didn’t have an underground labyrinth of empty rooms to not be used.
So if killing you was out of the picture, his only recourse was to keep you hidden away. At least long enough for him to figure out a permanent solution for you.
Living toys are so much more fun to play with anyway.
He kept you holed up in a secret room, watched your every move as months passed. You were very interesting to him, in fact he found almost all of his (precious little) spare time consumed by you. He made sure to visit you daily, though your fear kept you mostly mute at the beginning.
Once you were sure he wasn’t going to obliterate you, he noticed you relaxed and even opened up a little bit. You even allowed him to touch you gently a few times and, to his surprise, he never broke out after his skin made contact with yours.
He figured you must have been sent to him, by some divine or cosmic intervention. You grew on him quickly and he made sure to pamper you in any way he could, moving you to a larger, more luxurious wing of the lair and making sure you had three meals a day of only the best quality food.
One morning he’d decided to visit you earlier than usual, walking down the long hallway towards your room and considering the topic of conversation today.
As he neared your room he overheard you speaking with the associate assigned to your meal delivery today. Pausing just outside the door he caught the tail end of your conversation.
“...so lonely until Chisaki visits. The room is lovely but he’s truly the only happiness of my rather dull life.”
Chisaki considered this for a moment. Perhaps it was a clever deception? Something for him to intentionally overhear and cause him to lower his guard?
Couldn’t be though, he’d never visited you this early, if you wanted to deceive him you’d have waited until your evening meal to speak these words.
A sudden, rather disconcerting warmth overtook Chisaki; Like a flower of light suddenly blooming in his chest he was overtaken by the urge to abandon everything and stay by your side until he withered away and his bones turned to dust.
Regaining his sanity he shook the thought from his head. He’d worked too hard for too long to let go of this now. No, he’d have to continue with his operation, the consequences of letting go now would be too great.
He was, however, sorry to hear that your life thus far had been dull. Had you said this months ago he would have scoffed, because of course the life of a cashier was dull; but now, after months of you having been here, it should have improved.
The only assumption left for him to make was that this must have been his doing. Fair enough on his part, as he couldn’t be sure trusting you was a wise idea.
But if this was how you truly felt about him, maybe he could consider letting you have greater roam of the property. He might even allow you time outside.
Only if you brought your happiness along, of course.
91 notes · View notes
sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years
Text
A Hero (Shinsou x Reader)
A/N: okay so shinsou is such a cool character, kinda relatable tbh, so here we go. Friends to lovers, lots of fluff, cuteness. It took a lot of strength to take a break from writing my fav bakugo lol.
tw: you almost get assaulted
word count: 4400
Part One/ Part Two/ Part Three
So technically, Y/N wasn’t related to the Bakugos at all. She was the orphaned child of a family friend, who died a horrific hero’s death when she was only a couple years old. Without any other relatives in the area to adopt her, Y/N’s mother’s best friend took in the two year old, despite the trouble of raising two toddlers being quite daunting. Yet, her quirk wasn’t very dangerous nor special like Katsuki, so she wasn’t hard to manage in that area. Just a shy little girl, confused at the transition after the loss of her parents.
Y/N was never very strong willed like her new family. She was passive, the perfect representation of type B personality. Dependent, reliant, and fearful of adversity. The only reason she was never mercilessly bullied in her primary days was a result of her “brother’s” unrelenting defensiveness. He was an asshole, very much so, but he never let anyone pick fun at the girl. Not only did he kinda, sorta love her unconditionally as a silbing should, but his mother would murder him for not standing up for her.
But when they both got into U.A, suddenly the two weren’t equals anymore, nor would he always be by her side to watch out for her. Y/N was left behind in class C, while he soared into the top hero course. Y/N was support for the soon-to-be pros, not that she minded. The girl knew how weak she was, and unless she had a change of heart and decided to work harder on her quirk, she would never be able to succeed. She wasn’t motivated like those in Class A. Y/N never wanted the responsibility of being so good people relied on her, civilians putting all their faith into her. It was nerve wracking.
On the first day of class, Y/n said goodbye to her parents and walked to class with her brother. He carried both their bags, one on each shoulder, eyes staring straight ahead, brows furrowed with irritation as per usual. She kept her hands clasped behind her back, wandering slowly next to him, head hung. 
She was scared, admittedly. This school was huge and so prestigious. How could she ever compare to the others there? It was impossible.
“Stop being such a baby.”
“Katsuki-”
“You’re gonna be fine, and you know it. You’re more powerful than those losers anyway, if only you tried,” he grunted, turning the corner to see dozens of other students in their uniforms walking around and entering the school. She bit her lip and sighed, wringing her fingers out of nervousness. “Seriously, don’t make yourself out to be a weakling. People will target you if you do.”
She paused, not taking another step as she confessed, “I know what I should do, it’s just putting that ideal into practice that gets me everytime.” 
Time was running close to class starting, and he rolled his eyes down to her slightly quivering form. Handing her her bag, he told her calmly, “Listen, if anyone bothers you, I’m two doors down anyway. Just call me right after class if something happens, got it?” With a nod, he patted her on the head and walked away to the main entrance. 
Her eyes drew up the high building, taking in all the shiny windows and the huge shape of an H made out of the numerous floors. This place was bigger than she had ever imagined, and that only scared her more. Yeah, it was bigger because it housed a lot of students who needed room to exercise their quirks, plus they were a very wealthy institution. 
She had to tell herself that just because the building was scary certainly did not mean that the people inside were just as bad.
So she held her head a bit higher and walked through the crowds of students. She tried to remember where the counselor told her her classroom was, so she didn’t embarrass herself by getting lost on her first day. 
Yet, that was exactly what she did. The school was just too big, and she was too anxious about her first day to think properly. So, with tears gathering in her eyes, she watched at the time ticked by on the clock. Her nightmares were filled with this scenario. Showing up late on her first day and everyone in the class laughing at her. 
“Are you lost?” a voice deep and smooth spoke up behind her, and she jumped a couple inches in the air, placing a hand over her heart after it started to rapidly beat with shock.
She turned her head, brushing her loose hairs from her eyes. He stared down at her with an almost bored expression, just as his voice had sounded. He was tall, and very purple. Dark undereyes, wild violet hair in every direction. She didn’t really know what to think of him other than he was unique, dare she even say attractive in a strange way. He looked older than her, probably 16 or 17 even, based off his height and old soul aura he radiated. One thing she did notice about him though, was he felt gentle, passive and even a bit dismissive. It wasn’t the least bit intimidating, and she relaxed. 
“Yeah…” she mumbled, a bit embarrassed.
He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “Seems we’re in the same boat.”
“Where are you headed?”
“Class 1-C,” he hummed, beginning to walk forward again. She told him meekly that she was going to the same class, and he raised a brow. “Really? What’s your quirk?”
“My quirk is kinda lame.”
A small smile crept at the edge of his lip, her embarrassment and shy attitude amusing him. “And what would that be?”
“Well, it’s kinda weird so don’t make fun of it. I can um- well, my blood is highly basic and burns any skin issue it touches,” the girl mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. Her cheeks burned so much she felt like she had a fever. This is why she never liked to talk about her quirk. It was just plain absurd and kinda disgusting. Every time she used her quirk she had to slice her skin and sprinkle blood everywhere. “But, like, it does so much damage to me to lose blood that often I can rarely use my quirk.”
He nodded. “That’s definitely strange, you’re right,” he stated bluntly, and her heart stopped beating for a moment. “But useful. Really don’t know why you’d be embarrassed about it. Just because you don’t have endurance doesn’t mean strategy and technique can’t make up for that.”
Y/N caught up to him, walking at his side now although his strides were longer and harder to keep up with. She looked up to him, feeling a bit at ease seeing as he wasn’t rude about her quirk. “What’s your quirk?”
He didn’t miss a beat, his gruff voice sounding bitter and angry with his next words, “Something I’d rather not talk about. Don’t want you to spread rumors and lies about me.” 
She had never heard someone so visceral about their own quirk. It couldn’t be that terrible, not to mention she wasn’t rude like the people he must have encountered before. She felt a pang in her chest, knowing that this reaction was no doubt from prior experience being hurt. 
With a short shake of her head, she replied, “It’s okay, if you don’t tell me, but I wouldn’t judge you for your quirk, and definitely not gossip about it. I don’t have the social skills to do that kind of thing.” She laughed awkwardly. The bell rang overhead, signalling the beginning of the first period. They were officially late. “Oh, crap. We better hurry.”
“For what? We’re already late, doesn’t matter if it’s by a minute or ten.”
“I-I don’t know about that one.”
As they entered the stairwell to head up the stairs, he turned to her and paused, staring into her eyes deeply. She blinked, seeing so much purple looking in her direction. Quickly, she averted her gaze, and tucked her hands behind her back out of nervous habit. 
“I’ll tell you about my quirk if you promise me one thing.”
She opened her mouth to agree but then shook her head. Don’t just make promises to strangers, Y/N, so stupid. “Um, depends on the promise.”
He took a deep breath, never taking his eyes off of her own averted ones. Waves of pain radiated from his form, hitting her square in the chest. “Just don’t call me a monster or shit like that.” And that was the moment she felt her entire heart crumble in her chest for this boy she had just met. He expected her to think of him like a monster for something as silly as his quirk? She wanted to cry for him, being as sensitive as she was. 
“I promise.”
He started walking up the stairs again, done with his intense observation of her face, except it felt to her like he was examining a portion of her soul, her compassion. It seems he saw something he liked in her. 
“My quirk is brainwashing, or mind control, if you want to call it that.”
Her eyes widened at the words, not believing that someone so powerful was right beside her, in the same class as her even. “Like, what do you do?’
“If a person verbally responds to me, I then have complete control over anything they do.”
“That is so sick,” she whispered under her breath, but he still heard her. His brows quirked up, and he gazed down at her.”Sorry, I just think that’s a really amazing quirk.” She smiled sheepishly, her eyes reaching his. He almost had to look away once he saw the sparkle of excitement and admiration in her gaze. Those emotions were directed towards him…
As they walked past a classroom, a loud voice called from inside the room. “Bakugo Y/N and Shinsou Hitoshi. I believe you’re late to my class.”
She rushed into the classroom in front of him and he followed. They conveniently were directed to the back of the classroom, two seats directly next to each other. She took a seat in hers and he slumped down in his, rolling his eyes at the glare the teacher had given him. 
He looked over at the girl beside him, who he now knew as Bakugo Y/N. She peeked over at him, and a small smile grew on her soft lips, the bit of sparkle still present in her gaze towards him. He smothered down the urge to smile back, just lifted the corner of his lip in return. 
Shinsou wasn’t exactly interested in making friends. He didn’t need them. This girl, though, he wouldn’t mind if she stuck around.
______________________________________
“So, uh, Y/N, do you need someone to walk you home?” Shinsou asked as they shuffled out of the nearly empty classroom save for a few stragglers. “Not that you aren’t capable of walking yourself home, it’s just that-”
“It’s fine. And actually someone already walks home with me, so no.”
He cringed, feeling awkward now. He shouldn’t have been so forward with this impending friendship. They had just met, she probably didn’t want some weirdo knowing where she lived either. “Oh, gotcha.”
“In fact, there he is,” she smiled, waving to a particularly angry blond walking down the hall with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his sagging pants. Shinsou cringed even harder at this point, not expecting her to already have a guy walking her home. She probably didn’t have much room for another good guy friend in her life, he thought, obviously overthinking things. “Katsuki! How was class?”
He frowned, shaking his head. “Deku made a fool of himself as usual, but it wasn’t awful,” the boy replied as his eyes slid from his sister to the daunting guy beside her. “Who’s this?”
“This is my new friend, Shinsou. He helped me find the classroom this morning since we’re in the same class.” Katsuki blinked in surprise, definitely not expecting his shy little sister to already have made a friend. It took her years of middle school just to have a few close acquaintances. 
“I gotta get going. My mom is expecting me home soon,” Shinsou told the girl, even if he was lying. He could go home at any time he wanted, he just didn’t want to feel awkward anymore. This guy was obviously close to her, and was giving him the evil eye for a minute now. Possessive much?
“Wait, before you go, let me introduce you to my brother.”
“Brother?’ he asked aloud. They didn’t look alike, like, at all. Nor did their personalities seem to resemble each other in any way.
“This is my brother Katsuki. He’s a class 1-A hot shot.” A pang of relief turned his stomach.
“Yeah, uh, nice to meet you.”
The blond rolled his eyes, gruffly brushing off the purple haired boy’s greeting.“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Y/N, are you ready to go?”
Y/N sighed, waving softly to Shinsou, a smile ever present on her lips when she looked at him. She mouthed as she walked away, ‘sorry’, and he just waved. 
Maybe he was a creep for watching her as she left, waiting for her to turn a corner before he let out a breath of air. All he knew was that he felt as if he was sucked in a trance. His heart felt heavy in his chest, as if it were about to explode. The feelings were so foreign but pleasant, some of the best he had ever experienced.
It just felt so good to see someone’s warm smile directed at him, not an ounce of malice behind a guise.
Yeah…He really, really liked her. 
_____________________________
The pair were friends. Honestly, Y/N was the only person you could get him to admit, albeit begrudgingly, that she was his friend. They trained together, and he assisted her a lot with her quirk. There were times when they were training alone and she lost too much blood that she would pass out and he would carry her to the infirmary. Time and time again though, teachers told him in private to monitor her. It was unhealthy to constantly lose pints of blood, and she wouldn’t be able to do it on the daily even if she wanted to. Since he and her brother were the only people she truly listened to and appreciated advice from, Shinsou recognized it as a sort of duty to take care of her.
Yet, with a bit more encouragement at the new school from dozens of teachers and other students, she actually improved on her quirk quite a lot. It wasn’t as if she had a useless quirk; it was very powerful in fact. She could burn directly through someone’s skin and the bone if enough blood was spilled. Therefore, the quirk could only be exercised in moderation.
For the first time in his life, someone actually trusted him. Not once did he consider using his quirk on her. Not only was she perfect on her own, but if he betrayed her trust like that, he might lose his closest friend. She was kind, but he wasn’t sure where her limits lied.
“Are you sure you’re okay walking home alone?” he asked his friend, who sat beside him packing up her books. Katsuki was out for the day with the flu, so she would be walking back home alone. He was kinda worried about her. She never walked by herself, always having the protection of her brother. 
But she was a strong girl. There was nothing to worry about. He had seen her fight and she was definitely capable. It was just overthinking that sent his anxiety through the roof.
“Yes, I’m totally fine,” she laughed, finding his concern humorous. “You live in the opposite direction. I’m not gonna make you walk me 20 blocks out of your way.”
Although he nodded in understanding, he definitely did not agree. He would walk all over the city for her if she needed him to. Still, when it came time to part ways on the sidewalk, they waved and went in opposite directions. It was only after five excruciatingly long minutes that the lanky boy turned and started walking in the direction of her home. Even though he shouldn’t have, and easily could have texted her, he wanted to make sure she made it home. He knew the general direction of her house, and if he walked moderately fast, he could catch up to her. 
So what if she didn’t want him walking an extra 30 minutes? If that made her annoyed, so be it.
Y/N walked slowly down the street as she usually did, her feet tapping lightly against the sidewalk. If she were being honest, she was a bit disappointed in herself for refusing Shinsou’s offer to walk her home. They would have a lot more time to talk in person before the weekend, and she never wanted to miss a beat with him. 
Maybe it was stupid of her to be so attached but she thought of him as her best friend, practically the only true one she ever had. Dozens of people came and went from her life, but this friendship felt so special. It would last a long time she thought, and hopefully she was right.
Unfortunately, she was too lost in her own dreamy thoughts to notice someone standing right at the edge of the alley she walked by in a particularly deserted area of town. A hand reached and snatched up her arm swiftly, yanking her into the darkness of the alley and covering her mouth with his other grimey hand before she could make a sound.
Her back hit the cold wall behind her, feeling the rough bricks scratch her shoulder blades through her uniform. Her wrist felt like it was on fire, burning from the harsh grip of the snatcher. Using his knee, he pinned her other hand to the wall at her side,  completely immobilizing her. She could have used her quirk, if she was able to produce some sort of blood-pouring injury, only she was trapped.
“Don’t fucking scream, you hear me?”
He removed his hand from her mouth for a moment to reach for his pocket, and as he did so, she let out the loudest scream she possibly could. Just as the sound came from her mouth, a cold object pressed against her throat and her heart stopped beating in her chest from sheer terror. 
To think she was a hero in training at U.A., and she couldn’t even defend herself from a quirkless criminal on the street. She felt like crying, feeling a knife against her throat, wrists held down. If only she was just a little smarter or a little stronger; anything to get her out his mess. The air was tense and heavy, and she could barely get a breath in without feeling the bitterness of the blade against her skin. 
She prayed, closing her eyes and letting the hot tears drip down her cheeks. If only someone would come and help. All Might was always there to help people, wasn’t he? Where was he? She couldn’t hope for her brother to back her up as he was sick at home, and she definitely couldn’t text Shinsou to come get her. Her phone was tucked safely in her backpack where she couldn’t dream of reaching.
God, she was hopeless. 
The thug opened his mouth to say something else no doubt cruel or vulgar, but just as the first syllable fell from his chapped lips, a shocked voice echoed down the alleyway.
“Y/N?”
Her eyes widened at the voice, relief running throughout her entire body. 
“Dumb punk, kid, just run off now.”
“No.”
“You don’t want to mess with-”
That reply was all it took for Shinsou to take control. The thug felt all control of his body lost in the air and a sort of tenseness to take over. “Drop the knife,” the student commanded, and the man indeed dropped the rusty knife to the ground, a metallic clang rang out in the darkness. “Now back away.” And so he did. 
Tha man sputtered, not knowing what was happening to his body or why he was doing these things. His face turned a bright shade of red and he threw a dirty glare at Shinsou Hitoshi, hating him with every sense of the word for making him look this pathetic. 
“Now stand still right there like the piece of shit you are. Move, and I will kill you,” he said calmly. Before turning to Y/N. “I’ll be right back with someone to help. I saw an officer go into the coffee shop across the street.” 
When he left, she inched away from the man, watching as he couldn’t do more than just stand there and look completely bewildered. A mind control quirk definitely wasn’t something you see everyday. Plus, he probably was facing the realization that he would be arrested and sent to jail to get his ass kicked by quirk users there.
He came back with a couple officers and pointed out the situation, explaining what he saw when he came to the alley. They asked Y/N for a quick statement and she just reaffirmed what Shinsou had told them and added how she was walking home alone and he grabbed her when no one was looking. And so they took him away, thanking the kids for helping catch the guy, who apparently had tried to assault and rob other women in the area recently.
That was a close call, the closest one she’d ever encountered actually. 
As they exited the alleyway, she felt sick to her stomach from what had happened, stress filling up her chest and threatening to burst out in the form of tears, only she composed herself the best she could to be strong. There really was no need to be strong. Shinsou was her friend. He was kind and brave and very intelligent, but most importantly he was kind to her. If she cried, he wouldn’t shame her. But she still felt the pressure to keep them from falling. “Shinsou-”
“I’m so glad I turned around to follow you. I swear, it’s almost like I knew something bad was going to happen, I just knew it,” he mumbled more to himself than her, really. He looked down at her finally, his eyes searching hers for any sign of distress. She looked terribly shaken up, but no tears were falling. “Are you okay? Did that guy hurt you or anything?”
“No, nothing else happened,” she told him. “I-I can’t believe you came to save me. I’m so grateful, I don’t even know what to say. I felt so helpless back there without my quirk at disposal.”
“It’s okay. It’s over now, and you’re alright. That’s all I could really hope for.” He looked down the street and then back to her, flashing a weak grin. “You wouldn’t mind if I walked you home from here, would you?” he asked, to which she silently shook her head. So, he began walking and she followed very closely behind, so close that he could feel her arm brushing against his. He figured she was scared enough, a little bit of  friendly comfort was going to help her out. She obviously didn’t want to speak, too shocked to say anything much.
After a minute or two of walking, he felt her hand slip its way sneakily into his own, tightly grabbing on as if he was going to yank it away from her. Although he could feel how shaky her hand was, it was so warm and soft against his cold and rough hands. Her fingers fit perfectly between his own. It was sappy of him to think, but jeez, it felt like those hands were meant to interlock. It just felt so fucking good. 
He shoved down those selfish feelings. Y/N was just attacked, and he was thinking about how he felt. He shook his head subconsciously, knowing that he was being rude. She was holding his hand because she desperately needed to feel safe and comfortable, not because it necessarily felt nice. She would probably hold the hand of any random dude that saved her like that. Jesus, Shinsou, so dumb. Get a damn grip, you sap.
He squeezed her hand back reassuringly. He wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but he hoped he was helping.
Her house was relatively close to the spot she was grabbed, so it was a short walk. Part of him wished it had been longer so he could have spent more time with her hand held in his. As they stopped at her doorstep, she dropped his hand and went to grab the strap of her bookbag anxiously, eyes hidden from his view. 
“Shinsou, thank you for stepping in back there. I really can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate that.”
With a wave of his hand absentmindedly, he brushed off her praise and thanks. “Don’t thank me. Anyone would have done the same, you know.” he didn’t feel like he deserves any thanks. He barely did shit back there except say a few words, and she was thanking him. Anyone would have done the same. He wasn’t special. He wouldn’t be special with the quirk he possessed. 
But god, the way she looked at him in that way, adoration and admiration staring into his eyes, completely entranced with him; it made him feel invincible, like he was on top of the world for a lifetime. He would never forget the shine in her beautiful e/c eyes in that moment, he swore it. That was a memory he’d hate to lose.
“I-I know- It’s just that…well…” Her words trailed off into silence before he felt her reach up abruptly to wrap her arms around his shoulders, falling to rest against him. He caught his balance last second, not expecting that of all things. Her head rested snuggly in the meet of his shoulder and neck, hot breath tickling his skin there. He tensed at the sudden embrace, but nevertheless wrapped his arms around her shoulders, bringing her closer. He could feel her shaking once again, and her rapid heartbeat pounded against his quickening one.
“Hitoshi,” she whispered, “You are my hero.”
Shivers ran down his spine at those simple five words, laced together by the most angelic voice he’d heard before.
That took his breath right from his lungs. He was her hero. A real hero. That was all he wanted in his life, to show people that he could be someone’s savior. The feeling of the one person he cared for more than anything saying those words to him. The feeling was unbelievable.
She pulled away after a silent moment, and waved to him gently, taking a step up to the entrance of her house. “I’ll see you on Monday, okay?” she said sheepishly, feeling something weird herself after that hug. Her skin felt all warm and gooey, like she was going to fall apart at any moment or her knees would collapse beneath her.
“Y/N, if you need anything, you know you can call me night or day, I don’t care,” he called after her. “I swear, anything for you, Y/N.”
“Thank you, Shinsou-kun.” 
“Bye, Y/N.”
“Bye.”
“You’ll call me sometime, right? So I can make sure you’re feeling better?”
“If you want.”
“Of course.”
“Okay. I promise I’ll call.”
“Yeah, well, bye then.”
“Yeah, bye-bye.”
She shut the door finally, catching the eye of her brother immediately.
Katsuki stood in the living room of their home, sipping some soup with a spoon, blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He raised a brow when she peered over at him, obviously having seen what happened outside through the front window. “What was that about, Y/N? Care to explain why that boy was all over you?”
“Shut up, Katsuki.”
He grunted, rolling his eyes at her reply. “Hey, I’m just worried for you. You can’t trust teenage boys. Take it from me since I am one. ”His voice was quite hoarse from the sore throat he had that morning, and he sounded like a frog whenever he spoke. How could she possibly take him seriously? 
“He’s just my friend. You really don’t have to lecture me on anything,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Sure, sure.”
She waved off how annoying he was, and walked down the hall to her room. When she shut the door behind her, she finally felt herself heat up with embarrassment. Shinsou Hitoshi held her hand the whole way home. He saved her like the glorious hero he always wanted to be. The feeling of relief she felt when she heard him enter the alleyway and call for her, it made her heart melt. She would definitely take up his offer and call him over the weekend, just to hear his soothing voice in her ear. Just hearing him, or even thinking about him made a smile grow on her cheeks. 
She wasn’t sure what she felt for him. If it was simply a friendship or if her attachments were growing into something more.
Y/N just really, really liked him.
_____________ 
 Part two coming later this week. Should it be angst or fluff? I’m torn
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sweetestlamb · 3 years
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Save Me From The Dark
Summary: If I don’t lie to my heart, who will? 
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Author's Note: The feedback to this story has been overwhelming and beautiful honestly, I've never done anything like this for a non canonical couple but so many of you have told me that this pairing makes sense to you too. They are just two lost souls to me and bringing them together is simply destiny. I saw on the timeline that TB was hard to watch tonight for my Seojun lovers,  I thought this might cheer some people up. Sorry for the brevity I’m writing between lesson planning, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
Special huge shout out to @ewolfwitchwisegirl​ who made a header for me, it's so gorgeous and better than anything I could have ever done. This chapter is dedicated to you for inspiring me with this masterpiece!! Everyone who makes a gif set, header or anything because of my story you are loved, thank you. I am honored.
p.s. the burn will still be slow but it’s slowly starting tehe. 
"What? Where is she now?" Su-ah's face scrunches up in disdain as Ju-Kyung explains what she missed while in the nurse's office, the shorter girl looks more enraged than she's ever seen besides when that video of her being bullied was posted. Su-ah and Su-jin came over everyday until she finally caved in and let them in, taking turns crying in their laps. She’d been so ashamed to face them only to end the night teary-eyed with snot dripping from her nose, as they took turns wiping her runny nose. It was disgusting, but in that moment she knew that all her fears had been for naught, they were her friends regardless of what she looked like beneath her foundation. They'd been her saving grace and two huge reasons she could walk back through those doors with her head held high. Suho’s constant love and support only helping to make her feel even more invincible.  She can feel that same protectiveness wafting off the her friend now, Su-ah is fierce when it comes to the people she cares about. She's just honored to be among that short list.
"She's okay. I covered her and brought her to the roof."
"And then you left her? All by herself?! Come on we have to go back she needs us." She staggers as Su-ah grabs her hand forcefully, spinning her in a circle but she digs her heels into the ground interrupting the motion.
Su-ah looks at her baffled, tugging harder. Her eyes squinted into two thin lines. Immediately she puts up her hands, calming the agitated girl.
"She's not alone."
Su-ah tilts her head cutely in confusion, seeming to consider who exactly could be with their friend and conjuring nothing after a short pause complete with a finger on her bottom lip. She puts the girl out of her misery and gives her the answer, "Han Seojun. He's with her."
She'd been just as bewildered when she saw the name flashing on her phone.
Han Seojun.
Sure they were friends, he was also Suho's best friend so they all hung out a few times but he'd never called her prior and she'd almost forgotten they even possessed the other's number. Making her believe that his reason for calling had to be important, since he’d never done it before so she answered without hesitation.
Before she could utter hello, he was barking at her "Where are you? Is Su-jin with you?" She looked over at the other girl, wind whipping her long raven locks wildly around her beautiful face. The frantic raise and fall of her chest was the only thing marring the picturesque sight. Breaking her from her admiration Seojun repeated his inquiry but there was an unusual quality to his voice the second time, he sounded as if he was pleading. She didn't know what was happening but he sounded as if every second not with Sujin was torture. Before he could repeat it thrice, she answered him.
"We're on the rooftop."
His speed reaching them was impressive, before Su-jin could fully interrogate her about who exactly was coming to the rooftop, he was already bursting through the doors and unafraid despite the wrath on Su-jin’s face, she stared in surprise as he called her princess of all things snarkily, she watched them appraisingly waiting for Sujin to sneer at the cutesy moniker but that reprimand never arrived. Seojun seemed comfortable, too comfortable easily pressing into Sujin's space as if he belonged there, as if he wanted to belong there. She felt like she was intruding watching them prod and snap at each other, so she slipped away no longer worried about her friends safety. She seemed to be in good hands.
She snaps back to reality realizing that Su-ah has been bombarding her with questions, "Han Seojun? Why is he with her? Was he the one bullying her, I'll get Tae-Hoon to kick his ass!" She looks at her friend considering her boyfriend, and then Han Seojun, almost in sync they both shake their head.
"No, forget that. He can't fight someone like Han Seojun, can you tell Suho to beat him up? Do you think he'll do it?"
She chuckles while capturing the other girl's hands, "We don't need anyone to beat him up. He didn't do anything, he helped us actually. He got everyone to go back to class and stop looking."
Now Su-ah looks positively beaming, smiling that bright wide smile that is definitely the reason that Tae-Hoon can't stay away from her.
"Why? Why did he do that? Are they close?" The girl ask coyly, always ready to matchmake. 
It's not her place to say, she's just a bystander and honestly she doesn't quite understand what's happening, Seojun is always full of surprises. So she tugs Su-ah away, knowing that if pressed Sujin will retract and push Seojun away on principle, she doesn't know what's happening to the other girl but when it all comes tumbling down it's clear that Seojun won't be far behind.
"I think they're becoming friends. Sujin could use some more friends, don't you think?"
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He doesn't know what he was expecting, it was a crazy idea. Absolutely insane. But regardless of the insanity of his words, he meant each and every one of them. Standing this close to the crying girl he could see the swell of her right cheek, the same cheek that had been bleeding the night they met. Ran into each other, might be more accurate.
It wasn't a fever dream or a hallucination. It was all painfully real, she was being hurt and nobody else seemed to know. She hid it well, even he could admit that her ice princess façade never cracking at school. She'd always looked like a perfect little doll in her designer clothes, he had imagined that she had a loving perfect family. He of all people knew that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, yet he took one look at her expensive appearance and thought he had her all figured out.
He wouldn't make that mistake again.
So he knows that his suggestion is crazy but that doesn't ease the anger when she pulls away, turning her back to him before answering.
"No."
His fists tighten in the balls he has by his side but each quiet exhale that causes her small shoulders to lift up and down, unknowingly calms his rage and he finds himself smothering his own fury to offer another suggestion.
With a deep breath he says, "Ask Ju-Kyung if you can sleep over then. You shouldn't be alone."
She also shouldn't go home. Her words echo hauntingly in his ears, he used a belt. Bile coils tight in his throat, it was her father then he was the one hitting her, destroying his own daughter until she couldn't stand to be touched by others. The urge to fight has never been this visceral.
She sighs as if he's bothering her, he already knows what she's going to say before she says it, so he intercepts her stepping around her so they're face to face.
"I dare you to tell me to mind my business." He growls at her, giving her enough space so he's not looming over her much smaller figure but staring hard enough that she knows that he's serious, he's decided to make this his business she better deal with it.
She stares at him, mouth lax after his deep challenge glaring right back after she regains her composure but her eyes shift away, unable to meet his own now and without a word she huffs before stomping away. He watches her leave, knowing that he's reached the point of no return. He's going to follow this through to the very end.
If she tries to run, well he has long legs.
And a motorcycle.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The pain of her raw water soaked skin grounds her, but the swooshing of the faucet does nothing to drown out her thoughts as she rubs vigorously at her palms, scratching at imaginary dirt that will never be lifted from her hands. Making the water piping hot she hisses at the sting of the water on her bruised hand, she has to punish herself. She almost did something infinitely moronic.
"You almost said yes." She whispers to herself in the grimy school mirror, looking back at her own face in disgust. Feeling the flame of hope desperately grasping for air, yearning to awaken under the boys insistence.
She can't explain her reaction to him, they are nothing; less than nothing she wouldn't even consider him a friend.
Yet, he knows more about her than her best friends. Knows her deepest darkest secret and instead of gossiping or avoiding her, he's chasing her down and demanding to help her.
"He's insane. There's nothing to understand, there's no logic to insanity." She reasons with herself in the mirror, choosing not to focus on the fact that she's having a conversation with herself. His crazy is rubbing off on her, when she put her head on his chest it must have leaked on her.
She can remember the heat that always seemed to radiate from him, maybe that was a result of being loved. He was warm. She wanted to reach out and grab....
What? Grab what? She immediately reels her wayward thoughts back in. 
What am I thinking? 
She needed to stop her train of thought now. That had been a mistake, a lapse in judgement. It wouldn't be happening again. If he was hellbent on following her she couldn't stop him but she knew it wouldn't last, no one was that selfless eventually her pity story wouldn't be enough and he'd realize she wasn't worth the effort.
She tries to convince herself that this is what she wants. Lying to herself has become as natural as lying to others, it’s a means of survival. 
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Upon entry to the cafeteria every eye shifts to her or so it seems, time too stops as they all cease their conversations to watch her like she's an animal on display. Her skin prickles from the overwhelming attention before the silence bursts like a bubble and the noise washes over her, people begin to point in her direction whispering not so subtlety to the person next to them.
She almost bolts before she feels a hand on her elbow, her instincts almost make her snatch her arm away but the familiarity of the perfume halts her movement.
"Come on. We've been waiting for you."
Su-ah doesn't give her a chance to decline dragging her over to their table, Ju-Kyung's smiling face greeting them. She's shoved down onto the bench, in between the two like they're trying to shield her. The idea makes her feel warm and uncomfortable so she pushes it to the back of her mind.
She silently eats her food, staring intently at her tray before she finally relaxes as she realizes that no one is talking to her, they aren't demanding to know what happened. She's not ready to talk about it, not yet and they are showing her that that's okay. They will be here for her regardless of not knowing the full story. Under the table she discreetly grabs both of their hands, squeezing them hard. Squeaking in embarrassment when both girls twist and smother her in tight hugs, she pretends to loathe it pushing them both away but they cling to her until she gives in. She's so weak today.
"Oh. Seojun-ah over here!" Ju-Kyung blares in her precious ears, waving rapidly over her shoulder and she feels her stomach dip. Not him again he never ate lunch here and when he did it was with his gang, why was Ju-Kyung calling him here?
Pinching at her vulnerable thigh under the table, she hisses at the other girl "Hey! What are you doing? Don't call him over."
Unfortunately it's too late, she can already feel his aura behind them getting closer. There's barely room on the other side of the bench, then Hyun-Kyu yelps before looking up in their direction, then he swallows and nods as if receiving an order, he presses his glass further up his nose before collecting his lunch and leaving. She watches the interaction confused before turning to look at Ju-Kyung who has an exaggerated look of innocence on her face.
"I guess he was finished eating. It works out though, now Seojun can sit there."
He's slipping into the evacuated space before she can yell at Ju-Kyung for meddling. Huffing she burrows into her food refusing to look up. She’s only been ignoring him for a few seconds before he seems to reach his limit. 
"Give me some."
She watches in shock as familiar hands invade her space and grab her tray, pulling it across the table before lifting one of her sausages to his mouth with his fingers, the uncivilized swine. She's reaching out before she can reconsider or think about how they will appear to others she doesn’t share her food damn it, she reaches to cover his hand stopping him from biting and stealing her last sausage.
"What the hell are you doing? Don't touch my food." She scowls at him, grabbing at her food and humming victoriously when she gets it back. Only to stare wide eyed and flabbergasted as he shrugs before devouring the juicy morsel, directly from her fingers, a brief brush of warm wetness on her finger tips. They both freeze, staring at each other. The air between them charged, almost crackling from their locked eyes.
"Seojun! You're the man! You're a natural flirt, eating from her hands!" Appearing from thin air Seojun's gang boisterously chants his name, clapping him on the shoulder and she physically cannot be in this room any longer. She shoves her tray at him, grabbing her backpack before hopping over the bench.
"I'll see you both later." With a tight smile at her friends, she races from the cafeteria unaware of the eyes tracing her every step.
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The rest of the day drags by, she spends it lost in a daydream making sure not to look at the boy behind her. She just wants to get home and lock herself away, this time nothing will get her to open the door. With a sigh of relief, she stands as the teacher dismisses them for the day. Packing up slowly to miss the surplus of students at the door, they are all still looking at her warily spreading rumors about her rudeness and supposed narcissism. Creating explanations for her scene in the bathroom, the majority of them painting her as stuck-up. She doesn't mind it's better than them knowing the truth. Let her be a rich spoiled bitch in their minds better that than a victim.
Like clockwork, Su-ah and Ju-Kyung latch onto her from the left and the right. She lets them pull her out the door and towards the entrance, absently listening to their heated debate of where they should eat today. She sighs out loud, amused but hiding it behind a passive face.
"Why are you even arguing? You know we’re such going to get spicy tteokbokki anyway."
They always do, it's like arguing is their warm up before the noodles because no matter how passionate they both get about the different possibilities they've never eaten anything else together.
Walking out the school gate, they all jump back as a motorcycle suddenly skids into their way blocking them completely. Instantly she's annoyed, breaking their linked arms she storms over to the idiot, shoving at his chest before shouting at him.
"Hey! Are you crazy? Were you trying to kill us?" She slaps at his helmet when he tilts his head at her, the loud knock satisfying as she glares at him. 
Then he reaches up like he's staring in a shampoo commercial and tugs the helmet off his head, hair stylishly falling onto his neck. Instead of looking upset at her rough treatment he smirks, leaning over the handle bar right into her face.
"Since when are you scared of my bike? Don't act so fragile princess." She gapes at him affronted by his unapologetic attitude, then further bothered by his second use of that infuriating nickname. She's nobody's fucking princess. As she opens her mouth to tell him this, he turns away from her before talking to Ju-Kyung.
"Take her to your house tonight. Have a sleepover or whatever you all call it. She told me she really wanted to ask you but she was too embarrassed." He points over at her, lying easily through his too white teeth. She wants to punch that smile off his face.
"Hey when did I say anything like that to yo--!!"
But he's on a roll, bulldozing through her interjections with the same ease he used that night on the highway. Pulling something from his pocket and thrusting it at her.
"Give me your number."
What.
"What?"
He looks at her like she's wasting his time, rolling his eyes before repeating slower, the asshole.
"Give me your number."
She scoffs at the brazen order, sneering at him before grabbing her friends. "Let's go."
But never of them are budging, so she pulls harder but still they don't follow and she turns to them both annoyed. "Didn't you hear me let's go."
"Give me the phone."
Her jaw drops as Su-ah reaches out at Seojun, he looks as surprised as she does before he shakes himself from his confusion and hands the girl his phone. Su-ah happily taps away before handing the phone back over.
"There you go." Su-ah smiles easily before tugging them all away now, she wants to fight her hold and run back and take his phone, delete her number and tell him once and for all to leave her alone and stop playing whatever game he’s playing.
"I'm hungry from all that arguing, let's get tteokbokki." Ju-Kyung states happily, leading them towards the shop.
She just goes along quietly, feeling outnumbered and indignant. They were supposed to be her friend. She pouts the entire way. 
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Seojun watches the three girls walking away, eyes fixated on the figure in the middle until they turn a corner and disappear from his sight. She'd looked like she wanted to kill him, a woman had never looked at him with that particular expression before. She could be quite scary when she wanted to be.
Hooking his helmet onto the arm bar of his bike he finally looks down at his phone, thankfully still in one piece.
When he sees the number he smiles softly before his eyes shift down and laughter bursts out of his chest, he can't stop the bubbling bouts of joy that fall from his lips.
8298263098
Princess
With another chuckle, he pulls on his helmet before revving the bike to life and peeling out of the school feeling lighter than he has in a long time. He doesn’t question his gut, no he’s not someone who overthinks he jumps first and looks later. 
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Text
Warm Like Honey... Ch 1
Spring...
You are the ace of the Fukurodani Girls Volleyball Club, and a second year. Also, you're a foreign student having moved to Japan from America years ago when your mom remarried. You attend a celebratory dinner for making it to the Tokyo Spring Volleyball Tournament with Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma. You develop a minor crush on the short blonde, and unbeknownst to you... he likes you too. Years pass while Kenma ignores his feelings and you decide never to reveal yours in fear of losing your friendship. How will the two of you open up to one another romantically? (AO3)
Words: 4,154
“Kuro... how is it that we’re meeting Akaashi and Bokuto, but we’re here first? Usually, Akaashi makes it on time despite his handicap. (Bokuto)” Kenma asked while absentmindedly scrolling through his social media. Kuroo snorted at the remark before checking his texts for any update from Akaashi.
The four of them were meant to meet up to have dinner at this yakiniku place Bokuto found to celebrate making it to another spring volleyball tournament together. Kuroo’s brow arched in curiosity at the words on the screen of his phone.
“Looks like Bokuto’s bringing a friend? The ace from the girls' team.” He tossed his phone to the table before taking another sip of his cola. Kenma visibly curled in on himself. His shoulders slouching even further than he knew possible. His raven-haired friend chuckled at his visceral reaction.
“If I’d known he bring someone else I would have refused to come...” He mumbled his complaint. Kuroo shook his head before he replied.
“Don’t be like that, you need more friends.” He crooned, loving the way Kenma’s face twisted in disgust.
“That’s too troublesome-–” Before Kenma could continue to complain he noticed Kuroo’s demeanor shift, his eyes tracking someone from across the restaurant near the front doors.
Bokuto’s large frame shuffled through the front doors, the boys watched as Akaashi stood obediently behind his ace watching as he asked for their table. The hostess swiftly led the two boys to their booth. Kuroo noted the way a third person trailed behind them both. She looked tall, only a couple of inches shorter than Akaashi. Her hair was curlier than most, big and voluminous about her frame, but still Bokuto’s body obscured the rest of the view.
The three of them thanked the hostess for guiding them to their table before Akaashi greeted Kenma and Kuroo.
“Kuroo-san, Kozume-san. Good evening.” He said, his voice soft and straight to the point. Kenma only nodded, busying himself with his drink and avoiding eye contact. Kuroo, gave his greetings, before giving Bokuto their signature handshake.
“Bokuto! Good to see you, w-who this?” Kuroo asked, cursing the way his voice trembled. Kenma finally tore his eyes from the bubbles floating around his soda to lift them up to where you stood. Bokuto stood in the way before finally shifting to the side to give you a loud introduction.
“This!! Is L/N Y/N! The ace of the girls’ team at Fukurodani! She’s a second year!” He shouted excitedly, gaining the attention of the other patrons of the restaurant. Kenma flinched at his volume shutting his eyes before he opened them again and they fell upon your face.
You were tall, about 5’9 if he had to guess. A womanly figure with a bit of muscles on the arms, you looked strong which was how he guessed you managed to be the ace. Your lips looked soft and pillowy as they stretched into a big smile as you took Kuroo’s hand to shake. Your black hair framed your face nicely, tight curls bouncing about with your every movement. Your scent was warm, like honey and cinnamon, and that happened to be the perfect way to describe your skin tone. A warm mahogany tone, you looked smooth and bronzed in the amber lighting above the booth. You were beautiful and obviously foreign. Your American accent was endearing even though your Japanese was fluent.
Kenma’s eyes turned more cat like as his curiosity mounted, suddenly there was nothing more interesting than this new girl Bokuto was introducing. His stare was intense, only when you shyly waved at him did he finally blink.
“This is Kenma.” Kuroo stated, reclaiming his seat behind him. Kenma only nodded awkwardly, cursing his shy personality for keeping him from introducing himself.
“Hello, Kozume-san.” You greeted politely; your voice was soft but unlike any he heard before maybe it was the accent but it was smooth.
“Let’s eat!” Bokuto cut in, plopping down in his seat next to Akaashi while you took the spot on the end, right across from Kenma. Making eye contact, you blessed him with another kind smile.
“Bokkun... could you pass me a plate please.” You asked playfully, to which Bokuto confidently obliged.
Oh. So that’s it. She has a crush on Bokuto of course. Kenma chewed his cheek before taking out his phone to take his attention away from you and the way you had a nickname for Bokuto. Kuroo eyed Kenma for only a moment before light conversation overtook the table.
It wasn’t long before Kuroo was interrogating you, but you were nice so you answered his every question with ease.
“I notice an accent, L/N, where are you from?” Kuroo asked placing his chin into the palm of his hand.
“Born in America, but not too long after I was born my father passed. Years later my mom remarried to a Japanese man, so he taught us the language and after some years he wanted us to see Japan. Then we moved out here and it’s been great ever since!” You grinned cheerfully despite everything.
“Oh, I’m sorry for your loss L/N-san.” Akaashi said sincerely. Kenma took it they never asked about your past before.
“No, no! It’s fine, I love my dad and my new one! I’m very happy to be here.” You said placing some meat into the spicy broth to cook. You cleared your throat before continuing on.
“But enough about me, I want to know about you two! What positions do you play?” You quipped, eyes flipping between Kuroo and Kenma. Kenma suddenly perked up at this, surprising Kuroo the way he sat himself up straight to respond.
“I’m setter, he’s the captain.” He said, his voice sounding small and weak. His thin brows knitting together for a fraction of a second.
“Oh, just like these two that’s funny. Haha!” You giggled at the irony before leaning in pressing Kenma to speak more. His cheeks dusted a pink shade, something not unnoticed by Kuroo. Akaashi would have caught it too had Bokuto not been chatting along and he listening intently.
He stammered before he could get the words from his chest. Pitying him, Kuroo took over.
“Kenma here is super smart, the best setter I’ve met!” He gave Akaashi a sly grin as his attention was piqued.
“Kenma’s great but I like Akaashi most!!” Bokuto barked, hooking his muscular arm roughly around his friend's neck pulling him close. Akaashi choked on his onigiri under Bokuto’s grip but never fought to remove himself.
Kuroo copied Bokuto’s action, hooking his own arm around Kenma before he had time to move away. He snatched him close making Kenma flail and drop his chopsticks.
“Kuro, please don’t do that.” He groaned; a serious frown plastered on his features. You tried in vain to stifle your giggles behind your hand, turning your face away from the four to spare them. Your hair and your gold hoop earrings jumped along with each chuckle. It accented your skin perfectly, Kenma had an eye for details like this since he spent a lot of time taking in the outfits of the characters from his RPGs. His face immediately softened, a small smile etching its way across his lips as he reluctantly dragged his eyes off of you.
The three others noticed the exchange before glancing amongst each other to see if they all caught that. After that, the night drew on as usual, conversation, laughter, eating and drinking. Just a lot more fun than usual, Kenma noticed.
After a few hours of fun, you checked your phone. Right on schedule, your dad was texting about when you’ll be on the way home. You released a reluctant sigh.
“Bokkun, Akaashi. My dad’s asking for me.” You gave a sad smile to Kuroo and Kenma. Kuroo smiled back whereas Kenma actually looked sad, an evident slouch in his shoulders and downturn to his lips. You held his glance for a beat longer than what was offered to Kuroo before the five of you all stood in unison to leave, the bill having been split and paid half an hour ago.
Walking outside you stuck close to Bokuto, something Kenma wish he hadn’t noticed. You turned to smile at the two boys before pulling your coat closer around you.
“I had fun; it was nice meeting you! If ya got time at the spring tournament, come watch me play!” You cheered, waving goodbye to the Nekoma boys before turning on your heel walking in between Akaashi and Bokuto. Kenma gave a small wave in your direction before walking in the opposite direction and heading for the train station. It was a brisk night, so Kenma hoped he could blame the chilly weather for his flushed cheeks.
“You have some explaining to do my boy.” Kuroo teased playfully, leaning down into Kenma’s headspace causing his junior to scowl and move away. He pulled out his phone to play some mobile games and drown out Kuroo’s questioning.
“You look at her the way you look at Chibi-chan! You like her!” Kuroo announced with a laugh. Kenma rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.
“I don’t look at Shoyo any certain way Kuro...” He grumbled, scanning his card for the train and leaving Kuroo behind while he scrambled for his wallet. But Kuroo was right, Kenma did have a special patience and joy when around Hinata Shoyo. He was fun and exciting and Kenma couldn’t quite place why he enjoyed his presence, and paid more attention to him than he did his childhood friend Kuro.
“Well whatever, you better do something before Bokuto does! All I’m saying.” Kuroo warned, he dropped the conversation finally noting the way Kenma’s frown looked almost painful behind his scarf. Kenma dropped himself onto his seat on the train leaning up against the window to be just an inch further away from his friend's body. Kuroo finally hushed himself on the subject, instead to discuss the upcoming tournament that was a few weeks away. Kenma half-heartedly listened to what was said.
...
Lazily, Kenma dragged himself off the van. Even though the tournament was held in Tokyo, and the drive for Nekoma wasn’t even half an hour, Kenma was especially tired. Following after Kuroo to grab his bag his attention was pulled to the memorable colors, black white and gold for Fukurodani. The girls’ team wore the same uniform as the boys of course, all but the bottoms being exchanged for short spandex.
“Get your jaw off the ground.” Kuroo joked, tossing Kenma’s duffel bag haphazardly. Kenma blushed lightly before snapping at the captain.
“My mouth was closed!” He said, pulling the strap of his bad over his shoulder with a huff. His eyes scanned over your uniform, taking note of the way the muscles you grew from volleyball were complimented nicely by the clothes. He also noticed you happened to have the same type of knee guards as Bokuto. Long, coming up to consume half of your thighs, and half of your calves. Your legs were long, he noticed, a shiver crawling up his back.
Your brown skin under the morning light was lovely, the way the sun's rays absorbed into your skin. He glanced up to your face, saving the best for last, your hair was different today. It was braided up in a way he hadn’t seen before, long and pulled back into a high pony tail. He liked that you switched up your style, even if this is only the second time he’s ever seen you. Kenma would have kept staring if he hadn’t seen the way you turned to face him head on. Kenma flinched, snapping his eyes up to meet yours. Your eyes were on him already, tentatively you smiled and waved at him. Kenma raised his hand to wave back but it was awkward and shaky. Kuroo was stood next to him now, waving back at you. The two of them watched as you were scolded by your coach.
“L/N! We’re over here...”
“Sorry!’’ You squeaked snapping your neck to face them head on. Kenma couldn’t fight the small smile that sneaked onto his lips, but he quickly pulled his lips into a tight line when Kuroo bent down to stare blankly into Kenma’s eyes. He snorted lightly before patting his friend on the shoulder.
“Let’s go Kyannma!”
Your eyes shifted over to Kenma as his team walked away into the venue. Your team arrived only a few minutes before the boys from your school and your coach wanted to wait to walk in together as a statement. The captain and vice-captains would walk in the front, some type of intimidation tactic. It would have also included the Aces but, Bokuto was the ace and captain while you were the ace and vice-captain. So, it works out nice.
You stood next to your captain, Haku, who sported a short bob with pins to keep her bangs out of her face. She was tall, strong, and had great leadership skills. You admired her a lot. The same way you admired Bokuto. He was strong, fun, and although he was an unconventional leader his team was so in sync because of him. You laughed as his catchphrase spilled from the open doors of the boys’ van.
“Hey! Hey!! HEY!!!” He shouted, jumping from the van and rushing towards the back to grab his bag. You smiled and waved to Akaashi as he sauntered after Bokuto, hot on his heels. The two of them passed out all the bags before coming to greet the girls’ team properly.
“You ready Bokkun? Akaashi?” You asked your friends.
“More than ready! Right Akaashi?!”
“Of course, Bokuto-san.”
The three of you smiled amongst yourself before Haku joined and the four of you lead your teams into the venue. To your left, you glanced to Shiratorizawa, you were considering going to that school but plans changed when your mom convinced your dad to take you all to the city rather than the countryside that is Miyagi. You were glad, Ushiwaka was intimidating but you found Tendou seemed to be fun from what you saw at their games. Across from them was Aoba Johsai, their uniforms were cute and bright you thought to yourself. Their captain extremely talented, but a bit childish.
Further down the hall, there was Date Tech across from Karasuno. You knew Date Tech had a strong block; you were glad you didn’t have to go up against that yourself. You’re sure you’d quit after getting blocked by Aone one too many times. He seemed to be sizing up the ace of Karasuno, both seemed intimidating however the bun-head from the crows seemed a lot more approachable you thought.
“Bokuto-san!!!”
“My student!”
You and Haku exchanged a confused glance before looking down to the small, but pleasingly energetic ginger before you. Hinata Shoyo. You heard his name a few times back during that dinner celebration. Turns out he’s superfast and his jump can rival that of any player here. They mingled only a moment before the starting setter from Karasuno snatched the boy back to where he was meant to be. You giggled at the sight of the two bickering before Haku caught your attention.
“This way, L/N.” You nodded before turning back to Bokuto and Akaashi.
“Come watch me play when you can! A-and bring the other two.” You stammered before jogging off with your team. Akaashi nodded in agreement before glancing down the hall to where Kenma and Kuroo stood huddled with their team. He gave a small smile to no one in particular before rounding on Bokuto once more, all the teams heading into the large gym to warm up.
The girls' games were later in the day while the boys were first. You were glad both Fukurodani and Nekoma were kind of in the same area, easy to see both teams play.
You watched Bokuto and Akaashi hundreds of times, often joining the boys extra weekend practices so you could learn from the two of them. They gave you a surge of confidence, you were fidgeting in your seat anxious to get on the court and play yourself. However, today, for the first time Nekoma also had your attention.
Kenma’s movements were minimal but precise, never taking any extra step that he didn’t need to. He was refined in a way, much like Akaashi, but you think it’s more so to preserve his energy rather than solely to be precise and accurate for the ace like Akaashi. You chuckled at the idea.
You smile at how softly he’d send the ball to his hitters, even when a first year, extremely tall, couldn’t quite get the hang of things at first. You were thoroughly entertained by both games, and happy to see both win and move on to their next game after a break.
As their second games were just about to wrap up your team was pulled to start warming up. You felt giddy. Across from that gym, into a much smaller one you noticed, your team took their place and began their drills. As you waited to run up for the ball and practice your spikes you jumped in place warming up your thigh muscles for the work.
Your serves were great as usual, your arm snapping towards the ball with as much force as you could give and they always landed right where you wanted. You grinned from ear to ear, and as your game was about to start, you quickly looked around the stands. Your eyes scanned through the sea of faces before they landed on Bokuto’s unique hair, and next to him Akaashi  on one side and Kuroo on the other. And next to him... The real reason you were in high spirits. Kozume. He had his team jacket zipped all the way up to his chin, and when you two made eye contact you adored the way he tucked his mouth into the jackets collar. You gave the four of them a small wave before being forcefully tugged into a team huddle. Haku shoving your head down into the huddle to keep your attention.
Kuroo chortled at the sight while Bokuto sized up your competition. Akaashi smiled at you before speaking.
“L/N-san is a strong player but easily distracted, much like Bokuto-san.” He explained with a fond look in his eyes. Kenma watched him before sliding his feline eyes back to your huddle just as you all were breaking. Somehow, he could hear your voice outside of all others across the court. The four boys settling in as the game came to a start. Your team had the ball, and to give them a proper welcome you were up to serve.
You bounced the ball a few times before bringing it up to your forehead, eyes closing as you calmed yourself and got into the zone.
“Don’t think of anyone or anything else, just the ball and where you want it to land.” You whispered to yourself.
You gave the ball a high toss, while the other watched how it rolled in the air, Kenma focused on your approach. He perked up as he noticed you were going for a jump serve. The way you muscles rippled underneath your skin as you went for the jump, your braids floating behind you, and finally, your toned arm coming forward to smack the ball where it needed to go. Kenma knew exactly where you were sending it before you even hit, right to the middle of the back row that was foolishly unguarded. With a loud, THWAP, the ball was sent to the wooden floor right before the white line. It was in bounds and perfect.
“Yahoo!” Bokuto cheered, drawing a lot of attention. Kenma applauded your first service ace a prideful smile hidden behind his jacket’s collar. Kuroo cheered with Bokuto while Akaashi stood and clapped for you. You gave them a proud thumbs up before giving another service ace, before your planned third was finally received by the libero of the other team.
As the game continued on, your opponent's put up a good fight. However, it just wasn’t enough in comparison. Your strength, your libero’s speed, your captain’s intellect and technique. It was a losing battle from the first service ace, with the final score being 2-1. You hopped around in celebration, hugging your teammates tight before regaining your composure to shake the losing team's hand.
Kenma could get used to this sight he thought. Watching you crush volleyball players left and right. He learned from Bokuto that you wanted to go pro like him, he nodded at the information. That sounds nice for you. He wished he could learn things about you straight from your own mouth, and not from Akaashi or Bo. But it wasn’t so bad. At least he’s learning something.
He sighed to himself before the four of them stood to meet you downstairs. They found you taking a sip from your water bottle and drying your forehead of sweat with a hand towel. You sighed, nodding to a teammate as she informed you of your next match in a few hours. As she walked away your eyes caught onto a familiar blonde.
You fanned your face with your hand to further cool your skin before meeting the boys halfway.
“Hi you guys! Did you have fun watching me do my thing?” You asked cheerfully, your eyes lingering on Kenma in particular. He nodded in response, a quiet ‘mhm’ humming from his lips.
You were praised by the rest of them, a wide smile on your face as you listened to the feedback. Kenma stared intensely, his pupils dilated the way a cats would at the sight of a laser pointer. That’s the way his eyes always were when they were stuck on you.
“Bokkun, my form getting better?” You asked, suddenly sounding more serious than you were a moment ago. Just as he was about to respond, Akaashi cut in.
“Bokuto-san. I’ll go find a restaurant for dinner.” Bokuto nodded before returning his attention to you. The contents of the conversation lost in the growing crowd as Kuroo and Kenma walked with Akaashi.
...
“The whole crew made it!” Bokuto celebrated as he jumped from his seat at the table to cheer more actively, he jostled everyone's drink, Kenma sprang into action to save his phone from a splash from his cup. You chuckled at the sight before turning to Bokuto and refocusing his excitement to the fresh gyoza on his plate.
But it was true what he said, Nekoma and the boys' and girls' teams from Fukurodani made it through the first day of the tournament. You’d hope you’d all make it to the end, it seemed like a more feasible feat for the others though. You were a little insecure in your abilities, that was the main reason why you looked up to Bokuto so much. He had confidence, but he also had experience with low points as well and his team helped him bounce back from it so seamlessly. You wouldn’t show it but as happy and lighthearted you seemed on the surface, inside you were an anxious type. You loved volleyball so much, it gave you comfort but the spotlight also snuffed a bit of the warmth the game lit in your heart.
You, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi clinked your glasses against each other in cheers, while Kenma lazily held his up from his seat not going through the effort to reach towards the rest of you. He once again was sat across from you, eyes glued to his phone. Before he placed his cup back onto the table you tapped your glass on his gently, shooting him a playful wink when his eyes snapped to yours. A faint blush tinted his cheeks.
“Kozume-san? Are you happy your team won today?” You asked, kinda of expecting his lack luster response.
“I-I guess, I expected as much...” He replied sheepishly, eyes bouncing around the table, landing on everything but you. You exhaled through your nose before glancing between the screen on his phone and back up to him.
“You seem to like video games more than volleyball though.” You observed nodding toward the game flappy bird on his phone. He tilted his phone upward to obscure your view before he spoke.
“I like both.” A slight pout manifested on his features.
“Well... I brought a few of my own games in my bag if you want to play later?” You asked, looking between the other three boys as they all awaited Kenma’s response.
“Sure...”
You noticed the way his lips curled upward into the faintest of smiles before he neutralized his face once again, you smiled fondly at him before taking a sip of your drink, eyes glossing over him over the top of your glass.
“Good.”
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mira--mira · 3 years
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3 things:
the first, Le gasp. Did Madara gave Hashirama the necklace that Tsunade gave to Naruto? That's always been a headcanon of mine so it'd be super cool if that was the case for OoT.
the 2nd: I now have a mental image of Gai running laps around Konoha with Lee & Hashimada bellowing about youth, like he does. Ppl just assuming that they're his Genin team. Cue either Neji, Tenten or Kakashi hearing about it and going over to check what's happening.
Kakashi will gaze upon the matching jumpsuits and give up on life
Neji and Tenten will be offended that they've been replaced.
The 3rd: Hashirama learns of Kakashi's (or well anyones) distaste for the jumpsuits and innocently suggest that when he becomes Hokage he'll implement them as the official Shinobi uniform. Legwarmers and all.
Now that I think about it, the Gai's outfit it literally Kakashi's except green and w/ legwarmers instead of bandages. So it probably wouldn't be that different, but its still kinda funny.
How are people afraid of the Gunbai? Cuz they're not old enough to have seen Madara use it and since he's a ghost, shouldn't all portraits/pictures of him be gone. I mean I guess there's still the statue. But Madara's not weilding a fan in that one. Are students just told in the academy that the fan is bad or is it more like a cultural aversion to fans. If that's the case then are they afraid of the fan or just dislike it? Cuz its kinda implied that Gai panicked upon seeing the fan and opened the 6th gate, but that's a big reaction that would only be triggered by actual fear instead of disgust.
Sorry for the long ramble. I was just so excited to see Oot update that my words got away from me. Love your fic!
Warnings for slight spoilers, it's more background necklace stuff only in point 1 but just fyi in case it’s important to you!
1. Yes! I love that headcanon but this one has a slightly different history behind it. Madara did give it to him, but it's the necklace he inherited from his mother that his father gave her. This is bc in the "canon" history, Madara and Hashirama were never public about their relationship. The traditional Uchiha courtship necklace was incredibly recognizable (the magatama ie the big "comma" symbol on sage/indra/ashura's clothes) so Madara couldn't easily make him one. However, Tajima made the same necklace for Kou but it broke into its now-recognizable shape of today and she refused to wear any other necklace but that one, saying it was unique among all the Uchiha's (she also compared it to a dick when Tajima added the two beads on either side to make it look nicer, but that's bc Kou had a rather coarse sense of humor). Typically the mother's necklace is inherited by the oldest daughter but since Kou only had sons, it went to Madara and was one of the last things he had of her. It was his declaration of love to give it to Hashirama and, considering how vilified and demonized Kou was to the Senju, his own declaration to accept and wear it.
2. Oh you better believe they’ll run laps together! (edit: I realized this got buried in my drafts so Chapter 17 has already come out, so yes you predicted part of the future 😜) Hashirama will be little more proactive in his revenge so no stumbling upon them haha! And Gai already has plans to introduce the terrors to his genin team 😉
3. He’ll accidentally stumble upon Kakashi’s specific distaste of the outfit but you better believe once he finds, he’ll just happen to bring it up to Kakashi every once in a while just to see his reaction. 
The issue with the gunbai is it’s specifically associated with the Ghost of the Uchiha. Madara’s individual name got lost (only the elders, ninja with access to classified records, and certain clans remember it). But the “Ghost” was a bogeyman to Konoha, an evil, terrible man who was cursed with only hatred in his heart, who turned on the village and tried to destroy it. 
(In the full story, it also connects Konoha’s hatred of Kurama specifically (the monster the Ghost used to try and destroy the village) which will also be connected to one reason why the jinchuriki were always set up to be pariahs, and how by killing Madara, Hashirama’s deification as the God of Shinobi was complete, as well as another reason the Uchiha were separated and held at arms length which only worsened over time as the story became more and more mythologized and Madara’s past contributions as a founder were lost.)
Because there weren’t paintings/statues of the Ghost (except for VotE which...I think is actually a bit of a controversial piece for Konoha tbh, and the Uchiha’s secret mural) the only thing that really stuck to symbolize him was the gunbai. This is a very American-centric perspective and I will be the first to admit isn’t a perfect parallel by any means but the kind of fear/hatred most of Konoha and especially ninja have towards the gunbai/Ghost can be thought of like the Red Scare panic. The “paranoia” point isn’t quite met but that kind of visceral hatred and fear over something that they’re told to fear and hate but don’t actually have first hand experience is similar. I also think it could work as a kind of dark reflection of the Will of Fire ideology. If you’re not someone who would sacrifice everything for the village and endure relentlessly...are you going to betray the village and become the next Ghost? That’s not a vocal belief in Konoha, but more something that’s kind of implied by the black/white mentality that nationalism kind of inspires. The emotion is only towards gunbai in particular, but the culture around fans in general and them being “too similar” has created an aversion to all fans esp in the ninja clans. Tenten has a small tessen (an iron hand held fan) but it’s something that very clearly marks her as clanless to other shinobi because no clan ninja would own one. 
All of this to say, when Gai first saw the gunbai unexpectedly the years of being taught this explicitly and implicitly kicked in and he reacted. It was a panicked instinct and if he weren’t the amazing man we know and love seeing Madara with the gunbai and definitely knowing their connection, other ninja in Konoha would find it perfectly reasonable for him to then try and attack Madara.
I hope this clears things up, I felt I got a bit rambly in the middle!
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Text
Whumptober Day 2
So much love to @theobscurepotato and @peregrinealpha, you guys are fantastic and I really appreciate the support, it means the world to know that I’m not the only one excited for this! <3
I have no excuse for this one. Pretty sure this is the purest definition of an id fic, because it just kinda wrote itself, and when I was done and went back to read over it the front of my brain was like ‘what the hell did I just create’ and my lizard brain was purring ‘yesss, good’ like goddamn Palpatine. This is definitely not a scenario that I think would actually have happened in canon, but apparently it’s a scenario my brain wanted to play with, and I definitely do blame it on Gerald canonically having way too much fun needling Damien for no obvious reason other than for the sake of winding him up. 
Much like day 1, this is right in the grey area where I wasn’t sure whether to tag it NSFW or not, but I’m erring on the side of caution because I’d rather be overly conscientious than not. I also wasn’t entirely sure how to word the content warning tags, so I tagged it for general self destructive behaviour, because uh - what Gerald is doing here is not how to have a healthy relationship, kids. This is ‘personal experience with adolescent trauma’ meets ‘horrifically bad coping mechanisms’ with a dash of ‘really really warped views on intimacy’. This is also a consent nightmare, because Damien is not aware that Gerald is intentionally provoking him. Please do not try this at home. 
Day 2 - Theme Chosen: Choking
Gerald Tarrant wasn't above using deception to further his own interests, but he preferred evasion to direct falsehood, and he certainly wasn't in the business of lying to himself. Thus, he was well aware of why he was engaged in his current endeavour – that being, inciting yet another argument with his companion, intentionally goading the priest he'd spent the last few months travelling with into a heated debate over the fate of the little girl they'd unintentionally absorbed into their group after encountering the Terata. The part of his mind that was coolly analyzing his actions, though, was smaller than the part which was focusing on the argument itself.
Both of those part combined were smaller still than the part of his brain that was fixated on what the priest's hands would feel like closing around his throat.
“For the last vulking time, I am not just abandoning her!” The Knight's fraying patience finally snapped, and the bulkier man took a step toward the adept, his eyes blazing. He was only letting go this much because Jenseny was well away from the cave that was currently their refuge, gathering sticks with Hesseth to make a fire; the rakh-woman had sensed the building tension, and had deliberately taken the girl out of the way so that the two men in the group could clear the air.
“I don't care if you think it would be easier, I promised to keep her safe -”
His hands were clenched into fists at his side, the force of his indignation expressed through the whitening of his knuckles, the corded tension in his arms as he held himself back from violence. Gerald fired back a retort on autopilot during an appropriate pause in the priest's rant, his own manner cool and detached, his mask of indifference firmly in place despite his mental preoccupation. God, the strength in this man – Damien Vryce was a fighter, and the proof of that was in every line of his body, the broad stretch of his shoulders and the thick muscle that layered his naturally-sturdy frame. His hands were large and strong-boned, the skin tanned and weathered by years of travel, thickly calloused by the tug of leather reins and the hilts of weapons. Fae-augmented healing or not, if Vryce hit him, it would hurt. It would leave a mark, at least for a while.
It would feel real, in the way things rarely did now, isolated as he was by his own carefully crafted cocoon of power.
The words of a past lover drifted through his memory, that long-gone voice dripping with disgust. You're pathetic. So desperation for attention, you don't even care what it looks like. I could make you bleed and you'd say 'thank you', wouldn't you?
“Are you even listening to me?”
Gerald snapped back into the present moment fully, his unnaturally slow heartbeat accelerating a little as he registered the building fury in Vryce's voice. His lack of attention had been noticed, it seemed, and the priest's handsome face was turning an alarming shade of red as his temper swelled. Pride simmered in Gerald's chest at the reaction he'd provoked from the normally level-headed man, satisfaction slithering through his veins even as he replied in a deliberately bored tone.
“It's not as if you're saying anything you haven't said before, Reverend. Given the intensity of our pursuit, the girl would likely be safer out of our presence than in it. Regardless, though, it comes back to the same point; our goals are too important, we can't allow ourselves to be sidetracked by one insignificant chi-”
He read Vryce's intentions through the fae before it happened, the sudden resolve bleeding off the priest in an unmistakable wave of crimson, but his own surprise at finally eliciting such a concrete and visceral reaction kept Gerald from responding in time – not that he knew, necessarily, what response he might have tried to make. In a single smooth movement, the Knight grabbed Gerald's shoulder with one hand, shoving him forcefully backward while the other settled around Gerald's neck. As the Hunter's back slammed into the rough stone of the cave wall, Vryce pinned him there, leaning in as he snarled out his words in a voice gone guttural with rage.
“Don't you dare call her insignificant.”
The vitriolic reply he would have given in any other situation died unspoken as Gerald's usually turbulent mind went utterly, blissfully quiet, only a single line of thought remaining to him.
Yes. That's it. Do whatever you want. Hate me.
Hurt me.
Just don't let me go.
A dark and twisted lesson it might have been, but Gerald had learned one truth of human nature early in life, and had never forgotten it even as centuries passed. People were more than happy to lie and cheat their way through life, and would deceive you at every turn; you could so rarely be sure of  where their real intentions, or attentions, might lie. They could talk, laugh, eat, fuck, and at every moment their thoughts could be elsewhere – but not when they wanted to hurt you. If they were that angry at you, no distractions existed.
Once you drove them over the edge enough to put their hands on you, you were the only thing in the world that mattered.
Gerald tipped his head back against the unyielding stone behind him, just to feel the way Vryce's hand was clenched around his neck a little better; he didn't technically need to breathe to sustain himself, but he was reeling and lightheaded nonetheless, from the heady mixture of triumph and adrenaline pumping through his veins. A sensation of mingled horror and satisfaction, so deep it made him nauseous, made him swallow reflexively against the way his mouth flooded with saliva in response – and then swallow again, when Vryce's grip tightened on his flexing throat, strengthening the whirl of emotions in his mind until Gerald felt a very real stab of fear that he might actually faint.
All of it lasted, however, for only the briefest moment.
He could see it as the Knight came to his senses; their faces were only inches apart, wide grey eyes staring into burning hazel, and he saw the exact instant that the blind haze of fury fell away and Vryce realized how far he'd lost control. A wave of horror doused the smouldering blaze in those warm green-and-brown irises, and Vryce wrenched himself away, his hands going lax and falling back to his sides as he stared at the Hunter in horror.
“I'm – I didn't mean – hell!”
Gerald drew in a ragged breath, now bracing himself against the cave wall intentionally as his head spun; there was a vague sense of loss echoing in his mind, but far louder was the roar of victory, the greedy hunger in his chest transmuted to a throb of purring satisfaction.
Yes, I can hold you, I can draw your focus, I can make you care...
Careful this time to show nothing of the emotional tempest in his mind, Gerald lifted one hand to rub lightly at his no-doubt-bruising neck, casting the Knight a sardonic glance.
“Don't flatter yourself, Reverend,” he muttered, with a icy steadiness that he most certainly did not feel. “I assure you, if I felt you posed a genuine threat, you would never have gotten that close to me. You couldn't truly hurt me if you tried.”
At least, not when I can make you look at me with that much fire in your eyes...
Vryce seemed to have registered his words as the subtle threat Gerald had meant them to be taken for, though, if the priest's thoroughly shaken expression was anything to go by. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then hesitated for a long moment, looking deeply conflicted and vaguely sick. Finally, he shook his head sharply, and bit out a curt few words.
“It won't happen again.”
With that proffered statement – surely meant to be reassuring, or perhaps pacifying, for no doubt he assumed the Hunter was furious about Vryce's presumption in laying hands on him – the priest turned and strode hastily out of the cave. Gerald stayed where he was, hands splayed out against the cold rock behind him, feeling his pulse beating forcefully in his throat as he closed his eyes.
Oh yes, it will. If that's the only way I can have your hands on me, I'll make sure it does.
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