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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years

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Inside “The Pact”

Hello! For those of you that followed along with The Pact, I received a few questions and requests to get an inside look. I’ll link the post here that explains a bit more about what this is gonna be about.

We’re gonna break this down into sections: first will be answering your questions about The Pact & the characters. Then I’ll show you guys a little about my notes & decision making process (which is very obscure because I just tend to keep a hypothetical tab open in my brain most of the time lol) as well as some pictures of my ideas!!

Thanks for requesting such a fun thing to do now that this series is over. It’s been fun to look back!

Q. What song did the boys dedicate to y/n?

A. “Her” || This is a sad song, but I felt like it fit so well with how the boys had to hide a part of themselves (their feelings) away for the sake of the pact!

Q. Did the boys get mad/how did the boys react to Jungkook’s kiss?

A. Jungkook was a little shocked, and felt extremely guilty on the drive back home. He wasn’t sure if he could stand to tell his hyungs, but he also knew he couldn’t lie to them. Naturally, the second he walked in the house and everyone saw his face, they knew. It was just quiet, everybody was a little hesitant to say anything/bring it up because they were all upset. Only Jimin has heard all of the details of JK’s kiss, whereas the others are simply aware that he kissed her and that’s that.

Namjoon was the most upset, although he didn’t say anything. He just sat there on the couch and did the jaw-clenching thing he always does. Yoongi just tried to change the subject and ask about other aspects of the date. Taehyung was actually pretty pissed, especially because he’d been so good about refraining from kissing you even when you’d asked for it. Hobi had a chat with him later that night and calmed him down. Jin wasn’t angry so much as he was worried that he missed his shot & couldn’t stop replaying his date in his head.

Q. Who fell for y/n last?

A. Namjoon. He’d had a little crush, and that’s why he was willing to go along with the pact. But it hit a point less than a year ago when he fell hard and fast. (you called him in the middle of the night when he was on tour and he realized that your sleepy voice is possibly the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard) The boys noticed and as a result teased him endlessly about it, because he doesn’t quite know how to navigate his feelings.

Q. Who did the boys bet on? (We already know that Jimin bet on Yoongi and won lol)

A. Namjoon bet on JK, Tae bet on Hobi, Hobi bet on JK, Jin bet on JK, and Yoongi bet on Jin, and JK bet on Namjoon (because we all know JK would pick Namjoon lol)

Q. Didn’t y/n ever date other guys? How did the boys react?

A. hahaha ok I actually would have such a fun time writing this Yes, she dated around a bit. For the first year of the pact, she had an on again, off again bf. It wasn’t very serious, and she always made that clear to the boys. They still hated the dude. After they broke up, she only went on a few dates here and there. Didn’t really seriously date. (except for that one time she went on vacation and had a fling, but everyone has decided to forget that) They just smiled and supported her, although Tae was always very clear that he didn’t like any of the guys she dated.

Q. In Namjoon’s date, who was the 1950′s author mentioned?

A. Agatha Christie, the queen.

Q. How did y/n meet Jimin? (he was the one that introduced her to the rest of the group)

A. She was a PR intern for Lee Hyun. Jimin and Lee Hyun are close, and they crossed paths fairly often until Jimin decided to invite her to hang out.

Q. What is y/n studying in school?

A. Public Relations (which will honestly come in handy with her new relationship lol)

Q. Where was Jin in the last chapter when y/n came to the studio?

A. Agh how could you ask me this and bring back all that pain?! Jin was at his brother’s restaurant for some much needed R&R. He ended up staying the night with him, not wanting to go home just yet and have to face his decision.

Q. Who would you personally choose to end up with and why?

A. KIM SEOKJIN. Date #5 was basically for me lol. Like, unapologetically wrote that for myself. Not just because he’s my bias, but because I personally felt like I could picture myself chilling on that couch watching Dateline with him. And it was beautiful. 🤧 Also, while Jin can be loud and goofy, he’s an introvert. I’m an extravert with introverted tendencies, so I just feel like his date would have been the most comfortable for me.

CREATING THE PACT - AN INSIDE LOOK AT MY NOTES

First thing’s first, I have an on-going page in my notes on my phone which is FILLED with ideas & half-formed thoughts. Before I began writing The Pact (or even Spooked, for that matter), this happened:

So you can see that I had no idea what I was doing lol, but I thought that it would be cool. Mainly I wanted an excuse to write OT7 and display all the members in a sweet light. Also, we see that not all of these actually made it into the series. (Tae w/ the family)

BUT THEN, “SPOOKED” HAPPENED, AND A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY POPPED UP

ngl, I cracked up when I looked back at my notes and saw this.

“Sweet Gloria what am I doing to myself” 😂😂 this was when I was pushing “Lost & Found” out and planning for Taehyung’s series (which is why so much is blocked out on my notes, because it’s riddled with spoilers lol) so I literally had no idea why I was jumping into another project as I was already super busy. That’s why I scheduled it for just Saturday’s! (and also why I sometimes posted super late at night lol)

As you can see, Seokjinnie’s date was literally always on my mind. From the very beginning. Which is odd, considering the fact that he didn’t end up being endgame. wow it’s like he’s my bias or something

Occasionally I’d take breaks from hw and work on getting to know how the boys were with y/n. Quotes and poetry serve as a great source of inspiration, and I assigned a quote to each member. (notice the little stars by Jin, Yoongi’s and JK’s names lol, they were my top three as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now)

There were a couple of things that I didn’t think of adding until I was reading through your theories and got an idea of what you needed to push the series in the right decision. i.e. bringing Gina back to explain that she closed the door in Spooked.

I have a whiteboard in my room that I use to map out what I need to do that week for whatever series I’m working on (as well as jot down ideas for new series, which I why this photo doesn’t show the whole board haha)

So here’s a peek at my thought process for writing about how the pact was formed. Sorry if you can’t read it haha

NOW, the last few questions you guys had:

Q. Did you ever change your mind while writing the pact?

A. Yes! I actually originally intended for Hobi to have written the note. It fit very well with how angry he was at first and how worried he was during the date. But by the time I'd gotten to Jin’s date I kinda knew that he wouldn’t be that petty but Jin would haha

I also planned on Yoongi kissing y/n on their date. It was supposed to be on a rooftop somewhere, which we know didn’t happen. In fact, I didn’t really intend for their date to be so disastrous until I was coming closer to having to write it. I think I was a mess, so the date was a mess lol

I had no idea what I was doing for Tae’s date until I wrote it, all I knew was that there had to be a museum. The rest I just made up as I wrote and hoped that it made sense. (also, for some reason I hated the museum portion of the date. Idk why, but it just felt so stark to me. still don’t like it lol)

Q. When did you know how it was going to end?

A. That’s a....difficult question lol. Honestly, I thought of just doing an audio recording and uploading it because it I didn’t really know how to put it into words, but then I realized that most people probably wouldn’t wanna listen to that lol. So here we are.

I had the ending scene in mind before The Pact even became a thing. I knew I had a series that I wanted to end with baking cookies. (weird, I know.) It didn’t exactly go how I planned, but I remember having the thought while writing Spooked (when I thought I was just writing a one shot) that it would be nice for y/n to be with Yoongi. I just instantly felt like they had a connection, when he was the first one she went toward. From then on out, I always kinda kept Yoongi in the background.

I had a crisis about halfway through (right before Jin’s date) when there were a bunch of people rooting for Tae, because he hadn’t even been on my radar. But then Jin’s date went much better than I thought it was going to/received better, so I think that got me back on track.

But from the beginning, Yoongi was #1. (I wrote this in the back of my Career’s notebook lol) when I was trying to figure out for myself who wrote the pact.

So yeah! There you have it! Just an FYI, I had to physically restrain myself from throwing caution to the wind and making Jin endgame. Especially when so many of you were on board. :( However, the survey helped because Yoongi was the majority of votes (closely followed by Jin & JK) and that showed me that we were still on the right track!

Ngl, my brain stopped working around Wednesday of last week, so writing the finale took FOREVER because nothing would compute. But I’m so happy you guys enjoyed it and reached out to me about it! This really is like a part-time job most days, and I really felt like this series paid off.

Hopefully I covered everything! To end, here's the most satisfying part of every project for me:

Thanks guys!

#the pact stuff #b:rants #about me #bts fluff #bts dating au #ot7 bts #bts x reader #ot7 bts x reader

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

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even more prompts catchup

April 5th: What was school like for you, or what is it currently like for you if you are still in school? Elementary, high school, post-secondary?

i Hate/d school lmfao......like i do Like To Learn and Know Shit, and of course Sometimes / on some occasions it was like, hey i'm having a good to pretty great time at school, but those were usually Special occasions or teachers going out of their way to give us you know, fun projects / go beyond the Standardized Testing curriculum, which natch they couldn't always do / did require sort of going Above & Beyond, rather than being the constant, guaranteed experience of like hooray for school......it's like, oh hooray re: the Play Scenes my fourth grade english class did that was like, an Extra thing, where we got to audition and i just had a great time like oh right, clearly Theatre in retrospect, or hooray re: the field trips, or projects we did In Class, since i hated homework.......i was always that accursed (i mean, not accursed for Me, but) combination of "really a terrible student but also gets great grades" lmao i forever do things Last Minute but like, when i was At school, in class, i'd just power through whatever work there was then & there usually, and in middle school would sometimes do hw on the bus, as i was the last on the bus route to be picked up in the morning or dropped off in the afternoon, but as soon as i got home i was in Home Mode and yknow. didn't just sit down and continue School Stuff asap. also hardly ever Studying unless it's the night / morning before a test lmfao but i had a great memory for that stuff, so studying that last minute was like "yep, i Do remember this from going over it 2 seconds ago" so yknow, despite hating school / no good Study Habits(tm) or anything, i did fine. i also read a ton, at home or at school and at any other point. so i was also like, quiet and generally ~well behaved~ or whatever lol (the like "how are kids (or anyone) supposed to stay focused and on task for 7+ hours a day..." thing), segue into next paragraph

i also remember like, 3 day a week preschool being the first time i was, you know, in some sort of School and also around other kids that much, i did have this sense that like, somehow there were Rules that i wasn't following, not re: Classroom Rules or something, but wrt socializing with peers, like that everyone else had something going on in how they interacted which i wasn't gonna get right, & i had this sense of like, not really being Allowed to interact lmao, even being 4 years old i have a few distinct memories re: this of like, a) choosing to play by myself in the classroom or when outside, and b) my "best friend" being the one person who just like, chose to hang out with me lmfao, but i was like oh cool Having A Friend lmao, like i didn't Not want to have friends, i was just already aware of like, i don't feel like i can just up and interact w/these people and i don't feel like they want me to, and c) re: that being aware of whatever Rules Of Interaction existing and that i wouldn't meet them / abide by them and thus there'd be some kind of repercussion for not meeting those rules, and not being allowed, i remember that like. there was this other indoor playspace in the lower level and there were toys i wanted to play with but Refrained from, and it was like, why did 4 yr old me get the idea i Wasn't Really Allowed, and most of what i can theorize is that it was like, well other kids might want to play with that, and the Normal / Better kids should get priority lmao, and/or being nervous that it just might otherwise lead to some sort of Interaction i wouldn't feel ready for.....and d) sitting at a table with like whatever 4 or 5 other kids or something and amongst ourselves someone was like "oh put your foot in the middle if you're [x]" and i tried to join in on a technicality lmfao and also just in, you know, active efforts to be Participating with these other kids on their terms, and it did not pay off, something that repeated uhhhhh, forever i guess lol. insert that post like can allistic people be normal for 5 seconds.....

like in elementary school i wasn't really making friends either, incredibly, i was Amicably Tolerated by many people then & like, again also at any point after at least lmao (and it helps that i was generally in teachers' good graces, not that i narced on anyone ever, but i had like, my Niche as the Academically Successful One, and also i was the kid who draws, another shoutout to some post and tweet about how being The Drawing Kid was like, some measure of respect but also disdain lmfao...) and sometimes people would again like. choose to interact with me repeatedly, and i'd sort of be nonplussed at best b/c it's like, okay thanks but in this situation i didn't Choose this any more than i choose [Trying to be in the group but being rejected/excluded], so it's kinda weird, i was friends with someone for a few years in elementary school but we just were Coincidentally in the same class for those years, when we were in different classes in 3rd or 4th grade and just weren't seeing each other it fizzled out, in middle school i made another couple friends where we were all being Funny lmao, but i didn't go to high school, so once again we weren't seeing each other, and [At School] was where i always had most Interactions with people, didn't see people much outside of school even if we were hanging out / being friends During school, for [a whole tangent] reasons, so. guess the good news is i'm still in touch / friendly acquaintances with some people from school from college, but even then, there was Some more social success or whatever, but not all That much, and i was still unhappy like, not having many friends, often being like "i'm going to the cafe a block away b/c i have no social occasions here and i want to get out of the dorm / be around people," that if i was with more than one other person i could end up the third wheel friend lmao or nobody is paying attention when you talk or oh no i put myself out there hanging with a friend group but maybe people thought you were a joke or something, thanks. smh

and that like, speaking of college, i went early but this was, for my part, truly primarily driven like "well i hate school so if i can Not go to high school, okay" and like, while i got in and everything it was still like "tf is college, i've never known what i Want To Do so i wonder if i'll figure this out, but i'm not expecting to last past the first semester / year b/c this is college and i'm a terrible student actually lol" but then turns out i kept doing well enough like A's & B's like oh woops i guess i'm still here, then, hope i can figure out what tf "credit hours" means (finally did lol).....then sophomore year was a bunch of just Agonizing over "what tf do i major in," something i never figured out, wherein i might bring something up & it got parentally shot down like "never heard you talk about that" like what tf Did you hear me talk about? are you thinking i had my life figured out by age 9, b/c i didn't think that, i'm only 15/16 even Now, even being the Regular college age it's like, nobody's figuring their life out then. also i didn't tell my parents things, so. and then i settle on something that sure, Might've been of interest, but also it was like, a) a program that barely existed and req'd taking classes at a like 30 min away campus and also the head of department had Just retired and the most heinous teacher in the related fields was now in charge, brilliant and b) the sort of thing you'd just wanna start taking prerequisites for like as soon as you set foot on campus, like, great. and c) i was like, hardly feeling all the Academic Ambition anyway b/c i never had, b/c i hate/d school, and b/c i still didn't Know what i wanted to major in, and i was stressed n depressed and also realizing oh right, i'm not cishet, and oh right, i'm never going to get along with my family b/c [long tangent] reasons and that's kind of concerning, here i am impending Being 18 and like, how do i get out of this b/c it's becoming clearer that i'm not just gonna start getting along with the 'rents now that i'm not an elementary schooler and also now that i'm realizing the Reasons being at home sucks. guess i learned stuff in college lol but also it was like, the experience of getting to be Away From Home and existing every day without parents literally / figuratively over my shoulder at some point every day, and getting to do shit on my own and figure things out while Not At Home.....i also had a lot of fun taking a couple classes from this one music prof lol. he was this weird really enthusiastic and really knowledgeable guy lmao like great, these evening classes where we go over to the arts building and he plays things on the piano off the cuff and tells a lot of tangential stories while we're learning about like, beethoven technically, or folk music. didn't need those classes but they were great, i've had these teachers who were totally into whatever they were teaching and had a great time with that

also acknowledgment to the fact i was a No Extracurriculars person all through school, k thru 6 and college alike really, although i took dance class for that k thru 6 period, just that was separate from school actually (and another fun "being away from home" thing and Theatresque performance thing i enjoyed) but besides that it was like, how do i figure out what i want to do without committing to joining this whole thing, i don't know How to sign up for stuff really either, and it'd probably entail "asking for stuff" and needing to coordinate more rides and etc and that's just a hassle, and i wanna go home from school asap anyways, and then like, when it came to college, i was again at first thinking like "well idk what i'm doing and i hate homework so i'll probably mess it up in this first year anyways" and figured that doing anything Extra outside classes was just gonna be too much, and also, it's like, i've never been in these kinds of groups before and why am i gonna start in college, where there'll probably be all these people who Have done this stuff before, and are also 18? e.g. even though it was like "hey you're away from home and don't have to ask/tell anyone else anything to do this club stuff or whatever!" supposed ideal environment for trying stuff out, it was like, maybe i'm theoretically interested in auditioning for the fall theatre production, but the last acting experience i had was like, "2 month drama class in middle school" or "that 4th grade [section of a] play" so like, not really Any education or experience or Training re: any of that stuff, and a bunch of 18 yr olds who might've, or [age peers] who were theatre people who had already done stuff so they weren't getting Lead Roles or anything but they were getting cast / taking classes / joining an a capella group while i'm like right on, i'm over here with some sort of Grade Honor Society (??) saying my gpa qualifies me to join and be able to experience some further academic rigor/requirements lmfao and i'm like absolutely not. get away lol. anyways so bit of a chaotique Post K12 Zone Education Experience there lmfao, all kinds of things i'd Like to Learn and even take classes on, but didn't like, right i love learning languages but never took classes, love math and shit but only got to a certain level of calc and even then seemed to miss some Lore, never did anything re: theatre, etc and so on. so you wonder if some advantages re: high school would be like, more chances for those extracurriculars (or regular curriculars) but, as though i wouldn't have the same qualms about getting in on any of it, and as if i wouldn't've still hated school but also still been at home, F. and i think people can be a lot more normal to each other when it's college and you're Not stuck in one building together 8 hours a day lmao, got some gentle "occasional Bullying style attention" in middle school, but had juuust enough like, [that Niche of good grades / kid who draws] and people who Were friendlier to me that it was you know, unpleasant, but didn't have to be that huge a deal, and then i was outta there soon enough. also, in college many people are 18 or older, as opposed to 11 to 13. anyways the rest of my school story was that in the end the problems were "i don't know what i want to major in and also now's a worse time than ever b/c i've realized my existence At Home is untenable, and naturally i am quite depressed & stressed about things, and i gotta say absolutely virtually every adult presence was either totally unhelpful to Counterproductive here lmao, like, not much anyone could do really but it's helpful when someone is like, i'll treat you like a person vs simply just going 'uh why are you not doing the academic stuff good enough'" lmfao like. the whole time Not having friends i'd wanna talk to through class and happening to get good grades in part b/c i somehow Could as easily as i did and also i was afraid of getting C's or worse b/c "tfw i wasn't even yet in a grade that gave you A thru F grades yet but my older sister caught shit for getting a C

like :/" and etc means adults are like My Student Is Fine, and also, what are you gonna do even if they aren't, i guess. i just had to figure out completely for myself Why and How i really wasn't Fine and that was quite difficult and also took a long time. then there was a mutual prank of "i drop out of college at the tail end of things" and "now i have to be at home with parent/s more resentful of your obvious Waywardness (insert: not being cishet, and the fact it occurs to me that my being autistic was always causing 'problem' behavior i was getting shit for like, the whole time lmfao, even if nobody knew / labeled it like oh this is for ND reasons, or if it was both true i tried to come out (smh, thought i Had to b/c that was part of Not Being Cishet) and it was simply ignored / unaddressed and yet it sure fueled further specific resentment of my not Performing Gender properly, or "worse," so that went well, in that i eventually abruptly left and did not maintain contact, in the interest of "the levels to which i was thriving was like, that if i bailed and like died 50 hrs later it'd still be what i want to do," true to that i did not / don't regret it. and what do you know, i was first able to bail to a relatively nearby friend from college's home, whose family also liked me lmao. shoutout to school still being where i made Any friends, except a friend i made who was a coworker of several years. and Online Friends, which, another school connection, that like, i can more readily Connect w/people via talking about interests, something that happened Sometimes at school in person lmao but not much, but also that i Talk About Interests in a way through Drawing, which, well shoutout to doodling in the margins of papers throughout school lmfao, it didn't hurt! that's my saga.

oh and that footnote, i also really enjoyed the "in middle school you either take language classes or 4 Electives you rotate through each year" and those electives sure featured some more varied and hands on activities i had a great time with. shoutout to like, cooking, and to shop class, my Car Designs were great apparently, idk how. shoutout to my Intuition re: engineering or something lmaoo.....very fun to just end the schoolday in that big garage space where you could actually open that garage door right to where all the buses were, beautiful. Oh, and that's another footnote, when my last class of the day in 8th grade was english, i'd sometimes finish work early and my teacher would let me go to our spacious library, with the v nice librarian who'd recommend books to me she thought should be checked out more often b/c she knew i liked to read that much, and also just generally had teachers / other adult staff kinda wandering in at the end of the day, talk about "i don't really relate to other ppl my age" where i did generally prefer to be around adults, so that was fun. oh and also shoutout to hating school lmao wherein during like, middle school when the schoolday started at like 7:30am or smthing disgusting and i just learned to like, view whatever time it was in a "at least it's almost [x]" like well okay, first period is math and that kinda sucks but at least once it's over this hardest part of the day will be over, then next class is kinda more chill at least, and then it'll be the last period before lunch, etc etc etc where i could sort of keep up that stamina like telling myself at any point it was Almost [a more encouraging time of day] lmao like. kinda fucked up to have to be dragging yourself through the weekdays like that, but

Oh! goddamn and i didn't even get into that if i ever got in ~trouble~ in elementary school it was stuff like Not Paying Attention, but where half the time that might be some other kid beside me messing around lmfao and i'm not gonna be like "uhhh follow the rules!!!" (and that even when i was In Trouble like go sit in the chair where you have to be quiet there for like 10 min i might say something to some other kid in that zone and they'd be like "um it's the quiet chair you have to be quiet!!" or "uh we're getting into the next lesson and you have to put that book back asap" like wow these other kids are dweebs about Rules lmfao) and there'd just be times like, it's 1st grade and i know how to read pretty well already but we're going over the alphabet like stoppp i know the Phonics already........or the ways ND people can kind of Intuit some stuff more successfully, like in third grade learning multiplication i neverrrrr studied but just broke it down like, okay i remember the Fives b/c of telling time, i know the 2x table and stuff, i know the commutative property, if we're all the way at the 8x and i haven't Memorized stuff, i can still like, break it down to say, [5 x 8] + [8 x 2] or something when i see 8 x 7, even if it takes a second lmfao.......and stuff like the tragedy of when i Did make a friend in like, 2nd grade, who i think we didn't even talk to each other ever?? i was playing legos or smthing by myself once during Indoor Recess and she just started playing agreeably along with me, aka someone socializing on My Terms apparently as our Introduction, and we just were friends past that but one time, not even during a Lesson Session, we were messing around quietly making each other laugh as the incredibly important process of "put papers in your folders" was going on, and since we were Not Paying Attention for some reason the teacher made a whole example of it where i had to carry my desk across the classroom for the Shaming Element of it and also so that i had to permanently sit way further from that friend, so that was kind of discouragement re: interacting at all. thank you to that teacher, who'd later once Gesticulate to me from across the gym that i should put my arms down at my sides rather than being crossed (we were rehearsing some class performance) & i had no idea what she was trying to convey, so afterwards she told me i had to have Reduced Recess Time or some shit because of Ignoring her instead of putting my arms down lmfao. and i was irritated at having been misinterpreted / my Intentions dictated to me and punished like that, but i was also used to it from adults lmfao and did not bother explaining myself lol like yeah god forbid i left my arms crossed on purpose and now i have to read some more during recess. tl;dr school has so much nonsense & i def had some Times re: being autistic & also just being someone who hated school forever lmao, think it was Also 2nd grade where one arbitrary sunday night i just cried out of frustration at having to go back for another normal school week. classic. oh and that also, while i wasn't like "oooo booksmart people who hate not having a Definitive Correct Answer to things &/or ohhh autistic ppl So Good at math, in a way everyone hates and disrespects, but they suck at Literature/Arts which requires you to reflect on humanity and shit," like, not only was i the drawing kid but i was also apparently ahead of the curve as it were at like, Literary Analysis lmfao where there was a few times in elementary school i'd be the kid providing the Interpretation like "what's this poem about / what's the theme or Symbolism in this story," but from elementary school to college it's like, for god's sake don't ask me to come up with a story / work with some really open ended prompt, i don't Invent in that way, and when i try to draw on Inspiration i'll get stuck on some specific source and be unable to do anything but just rip it off really lmao. but then again i was prolific in "it's 1st grade and you write and illustrate a little short story or smthing in these booklets

that we then have a simple little binding process for" like ohhh fancy, i got a tootsie roll lollipop at Awards Time for writing a shit ton of those lol. but that's like, when you're too young to have that much of a Creative Process anyways lmao. but then, my older sister, whose Thing was writing, has an incredible 2 Volume like, noir mystery saga from those elementary school times, it's a classic lmao. anyways once again so much to say about School lol closing the door after meandering on that one for this long lol

April 6th: Are you able to drive? If so, was it difficult to learn? What was difficult about it? If not, do you use any alternatives?

i did learn to drive, tbh just universally it's like, at any point you're driving there's A Lot to pay attention to at once, even if you think you're Good At That or whatever, which i sure don't think i always am lol, and it's pretty wild we just, you know, let everyone go around as fast as they want in machines that can kill you or someone else, and this is also Unnecessary b/c like, let's have accessible & reliable public transit so that everyone can travel without Needing to have a car / someone else who will drive them. i didn't think i had too much trouble learning to drive, but it had to help that i just took it very seriously from the start lmao like, well, i'm quite aware i could kill someone with this. the driving classes i took were alright, i remember the instructor being pretty chill and friendly lol. rip to the fact i could be tense when driving with parent/s, when driving a manual i'd always like screech the tires when accelerating out of a Stop, until all at once it was like "and i'm driving that manual car alone on a road trip & wouldn't you know it, only literally once did i have that issue of not getting out of a stop smoothly enough" lmao like the Anxiety......really like yeah i had an alright time learning and think i'm solid enough at driving / like doing it, theoretically, but Driving Is Wild just in general and let's have that public transit

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

i think i Usually get what people mean with these Devices but i can't really say lol, but anytime you know, someone is being more Implicit in what they say, plenty of times i can infer one implication and only later realize they probably meant a different one, or yknow, i make whatever initial inference i make and can be stuck like "???" and have to like, mentally run diagrams about the interaction lol......meanwhile i'm not always remembering that like, if i'm shifting context mentally that's necessarily able to be inferred by whoever i'm talking to lol, whether it's about getting into some adjacent topic or like, i don't think it tends to be very clear even in person when i've started being sarcastic lmao, like i know that can be true for anyone but it's like well, guess i gotta make it clearer i'm doing a bit......flipside of that or something lmao that people are more Obvious than they think they are sometimes about like, idk, when someone is sort of making some sarcastic remark to you but the sarcasm is also sort of only to themself, aka just like okay i know you mean this more dismissively / disparagingly than re: what you're saying just at face value lol like. just always fun >:/

#30daysofautismacceptance #2021 #you know that Read More means especially a saga even by my standards lmfao

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kyunsies · 3 years

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indeed you're right!! it is like seeing your friends go on to do good things and be successful,, a v gratifying feeling.

thank you!!! it's high school,,, at least 4 more years aha. kind of nervous mostly bc of the academic transition from HS to uni,, my virtual "grad" is later this week but it's a pre-recorded video. a few days ago my school did this thing where we walk around the front in our getup and took photos. i'm not used to being in front of the camera but some photos came out ok,, so i'm somewhat satisfied bc w covid we could have not had anything

after i got over him chopping it off, the hair i also think is v cute,, i think that when ck has short hair his vibes are smt like: ✨💖🌸 vs the long hair it's smt like 🔪😈🖤,, (idk,, but i'll never be over the long hair it suited him so so well) and i hope you "manifest" the selfie too bc the world seems to be working out v well in your favour skjdskld <3

(that was 🌱 anon sorry abt that)

being a monbebe is the absolute best <3 like sometimes it gives me a headache KLDSFJ but most of the time i'm just like LOVE MY MONSTAS LOVE MY MBB FRIENDS 💖💖💖💖💖

also oh my gosh congratulations angel !!!! it feels so good to be done with high school doesn't it ?? trust me, idk if you're high school experience was stressful or not but high school really does set unrealistically high standards for u in comparison to uni :/ just think about it ... seven hours worth of classes a day, even more hw/studying at night, and the expecting u to get the sleep u need in order to do it all over again the next day?? it's hard :( at least uni u have classes more spanned out if that makes any sense ... i mean my uni experience is still very stressful LOL i'm a nursing major and i'll be approaching my last year come aug , but uni is so much better than high school, that i can promise u !!!!! and i'm really glad everything worked out with your walk bubbie !!!! i'm sure u looked so lovely <3

bUT OMG YEAH LOL i totally agree with the vibe change of his hair !!! long hair changkyun is so spicy <3 but i love changkyun (and honestly hyungwonnie too!!!) with short hair <3 they look so cute ;_____; AND SDJFS I AM MANIFESTING ALL I CAN OKAY nothing usually goes my way but so far idk what's happening LOL i just wanna see his face :(((((

#asks #🌱 anon

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jtrbluv · 5 years

Text

need(y) | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: angst/fluff

word count: 3.6k

warnings: swearing

request: Hello!! Could I get a jungkook angst/fluff imagine where you guys are becoming distant and you leave for some space and he doesn’t know and thinks that you left him?? Sorry if it’s confusing, thank youuuu :)

a/n: sheesh! this was not supposed to be this long HAHA. sorry this took so long to write school just started and it’s fr kicking my ass. i’ve already gotten so much hw for the first week grrrr. i rushes the ending a bit so i’m not quite satisfied and i didn’t edit it either so um sorry about it LOL. anyways thanks for requesting this anon!! in honor of his bday too ig haha, hope u enjoy it :)

☏ ☏ ☏

Missed Calls:

y/n <3 (11)

6:45- lmk when ur coming home i can’t wait to see you <33

8:30- u must be busy at the studio it’s okay i’ll wait

9:47- hey it’s okay if ur coming late but could u just give me a heads up

11:02- jungkook?

12:17- happy belated anniversary to you too ig

1:56- i needa stop getting my hopes up huh

Being in a relationship with a worldwide famous idol is never easy. Learning to understand and appreciate the value of the relationship regardless of its limited-time came easy to you. That’s one of the reasons why he became interested in you in the first place. You never came off as overbearing and clingy and you always understood why things had to be different. And that added to the list of things he already absolutely adored about you.

It had been a year since Jungkook had confessed to you backstage that night, asking you to be his lover and promising that he would cherish you like no one ever will. And you can confidently say he very much did at the beginning, commonly known as the honeymoon stage. Things only started to fizzle out and go downhill a few months ago. His group was scheduled for a new comeback. He was promoting and traveling around the world while you were on the sidelines and comfort of your home, cheering him and his group on. Daily texts and calls kept both of you grounded and steady, but as time passed by, those texts and calls ceased to exist. You had been constantly ignored and you didn’t think much of it at first, after all, he was a busy man with a busy schedule. The tour had finally been coming to an end and he’d have the opportunity to come home to you, just in time for your one year anniversary. He had flown in 2 weeks precedent to your anniversary, and fuck, you were so happy to be with him again.

He had made a promise to you that you two would get to spend a lot more time together as he was coming back. You two had finally been living together again after what seemed like years as his group had gotten a break after such a hectic year. He would go to his company need to work on future projects and such and it didn’t bother you at first. He would typically come back home late while you were sleeping and leave early in the morning before you would wake up. As it occurred more frequently, you started to become more concerned. He was finally home for once and he wasn’t even making time to see you. You didn’t want to seem annoying and clingy so you decided to push these thoughts to the back of your head and keep them to yourself.

You had agreed to have a celebration at home, figuring all the restaurants in the vicinity would be closed by the time he’d get home. You patiently waited in the living room, coffee table filled with his favorite foods and snacks you were able to pick up at the local convenience store. He had told you the night before he’d be coming home at 9, a little later than you liked, but you let it slide nonetheless. You essentially cherished all the time you had with him anyway, whether it be a minute, an hour, or a month.

You mindlessly sat in the living room, not paying attention to whatever was playing on the TV. Your ears were constantly alert and peeled, waiting for a familiar car to pull up to your driveway. Your eyes constantly shifted back to your front window, scanning the neighborhood to see if he was back yet or not.

Time ticked by like molasses, your patience and tolerance wavering as it went on. There were no signs of him and he wasn’t answering any of your calls and texts. You were in complete disbelief at the fact that he didn’t have the decency to spend time with you on your first anniversary. Everything you had been holding in was starting to seep out of you, anger and sadness fuming from your system as you ask yourself the same question: Why do you constantly put yourself in this situation? Being hopeful for something just to let it get torn down again. Is that what your relationship has turned into? An insurmountable lost hope?

For the first time, you realized all you’ve been doing his abiding by him, waiting for his cues, going off of his beck and call. You were being walked all over, and you didn’t realize until that moment. For the first time, you were fed up.

You groan in frustration as you snatch your phone from the coffee table. It was 2:34 AM. You furrow your brows as you see how late it is, and how many hours it’s been since he was supposed to come home. Your emotions took control of you as you hastily shut off the TV, charging into your room as you recklessly grab one of your backpacks and stuff random clothes into it. You grab the nearest hoodie you could find and slipped it on as you grabbed your wallet, keys, and phone. You abruptly halt at the doorway, deciding to write a small note for him before you left. What were the chances he would see it anyway?

I need some time alone to think. Please do not contact me during this time. -Y/N

You stormed out of the house, slamming the door shut behind you. You quickly started your car and pulled out of your driveway and into the streets. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just didn’t want to stay in that house any longer. The streets were empty and the sky was dull and overcast. You let the streets guide you, taking whatever twist and turn you happened to encounter. Your hands were gripped tightly along the steering wheel as tears slipped out of your eyes. You quickly wipe them away as you recalibrate your focus on the road ahead of you. You decided it’d be best to stay at a hotel for now, until you could think of a better solution to all of this. You were able to find a hotel that had lower rates since you literally bought it on the spot.

You checked into the hotel and quickly escaped to your room. You throw your backpack to the floor as you lower yourself into the cold, unfamiliar sheets of the bed. You contemplate your options. As much as you didn’t want to admit, all your actions leading up to that moment had been caused by pent up rage and frustration in the heat of the moment. In spite of that, you didn’t regret what you had done. It felt as if time had frozen and it would only continue once Jungkook became aware of what you had done. So you were going to wait.

Jungkook stumbled into the home, hair disheveled and vision blurry from his near sleepless night. While working at the studio he had unknowingly fallen asleep while working on a track. All of his members had already gone back home so there was no one to wake him up or remind him of his girlfriend that was waiting patiently back home for him, ready to celebrate a long-awaited and special day.

All traces of the anniversary had slipped his mind as soon as he slid into a deep slumber back at the studio. He trudges around the house and his eyes land on the organized display of snacks on the coffee table. His eyes shift to the blanket and pillow that you two tended to share was all crumpled on the couch. The lightbulb immediately lit in his mind as he put the pieces together and his eyes widen in absolute horror. He had forgotten your anniversary.

“Oh my god, I’m so fucking stupid!” he exclaims, the tone of disbelief in his voice increasing as he realizes his mistake.

“Y/N!” he cries out to you as he runs around the house, searching in all the rooms to see if you were there. He almost forgets the phone that laid in his back pocket until he takes it out, hoping to call you in hopes that you would respond. His phone lights up only to show how indecently late he was, 5:43 a.m, and the amount of missed calls and texts from you, the disappointment and dejection he sensed from you increasing as he read each text you sent to him. His jaw dropping incredulously as he shuts his eyes and takes a deep exhale.

“Fuck, what have I done?” he huffs out, his voice small and full of somber. The fact that he had forgotten a day as important as this was already encompassing his mind but more so, he couldn’t find you and it deeply startled him, he didn’t know where you were and where you could be at this hour. He walks back into the living room where he assumes you had been waiting and his focus shifts to the kitchen where he notices a small notepad and pen along with a torn piece of paper that seemed to have something inscribed on it. He squints as he walks towards the kitchen. He took the paper in his hands as he immediately recognizes your handwriting and his breath hitches as he reads your name. His feet stay rooted to the wooden tile of the kitchen as he freezes there with the paper in his hands. Dumbfounded was an understatement to whatever Jungkook had felt at that moment in time. A tear had involuntarily slid down his cheek. Was this it? Was this the end? Were you going to leave him and never come back? These were only a few out of the heap of questions that were running through his head. All he knew was that he needed to find you. And he needed to fix the mess he had just made.

Similar to you he had bolted out of the house and drove off, unaware of where you actually were but he figured if he had searched for long enough, he would be able to find you.

You had slept deep into the day, finally getting up only because you started to notice the consistent vibrations that came from your bedside table. Naturally, you figured it was Jungkook, you didn’t tell anyone else of your whereabouts since it was so sporadic and you certainly didn’t feel like conversing or informing anyone of your situation. Out of curiosity and the annoying blare of your phone, you decide to see who it is anyway. Much to your surprise, your best friend Seulgi’s beaming smile flashed on your phone screen as you pick up.

“Seulgi, hi,” your voice manages to croak out as you adjust to the sunlight peeking out of your window.

“Y/N, where the hell are you?” she immediately asks, you can basically hear the frown lines etched into her forehead.

You groan into the mic of your phone as you speak back, “Seulgi, I can explain-”

“Jungkook’s been looking for you all night and asking everyone where you are,” she cuts you off.

“Seulgi,” you exhale, trying to suppress your anger, “he forgot our anniversary.”

“Oh my god.” she gasps, “you’re joking.”

“Did he not tell anyone?!” you shriek into the phone.

“No! He just said you left and he was looking for you and he was really scared and he even sounded like he was on the verge of tears and once I said I didn’t know where you were he just hung up!” she rambles on and on.

“Okay, yeah, he forgot and I got mad and I left,” you reveal, voice barely over a whisper.

“Y/N, I don’t blame you,” she reassures you, voice softening, “but, I think you should confront him about this.”

“Yeah, I know. I just needed some time to cool off and think.”

“Well, do you plan on breaking up with him?” she speaks timidly.

“I- I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to. I want to hear what he has to say.” you stutter, your mind in a complete frenzy.

“Hasn’t he been paying less attention to you these last couple of months?” she asks, “I rarely see you two go out anymore.”

“Yeah cuz we really don’t,” you confirm. “He’s been so focused on his career which I understand but, sometimes it just feels like he doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that he has a girlfriend.”

“Then why haven’t you told him that.”

“I don’t want to seem like the type of girlfriend to hold him back from doing what he loves. He’s invested so much time into his career.”

“Y/N, obviously not telling him how you feel has resulted in this mess. And okay, before you attack me, if he doesn’t have the decency to spend time with his girlfriend every once in a while then he doesn’t deserve your time and energy in the first place,” she advises you.

“I know that Seulgi, that’s all I’ve been thinking about all night.”

“Then talk to him Y/N,” she softly mutters, “for the sake of your relationship with him.”

You hum in agreement but as you’re about to hang up she interjects, “Okay, but just remember, I’ll support whatever decision you make next. I know you’re wise enough to know what you deserve and what’s best for the two of you. Always here for you Y/N.”

“I don’t know where I’d be without you Seulgi. I’ll update you. I’ll head out now.” you smile into the phone.

“You got this Y/N!” she cheers as you hang up.

You had clear intentions on your mind but you couldn’t help but feel anxious and uncertain about what was to happen between you and Jungkook.

jungkook, i’m in sunset central hotel. if you want to talk, come here as soon as you can. Thanks.

Jungkook’s eyes widen to the size of saucers as soon as he saw your name flash onto his screen. He redirects his GPS to the hotel you were at, a 45-minute drive. He didn’t care, he just needed to find you.

You waited at the foot of your bed, feeling extremely uneasy about the whole confrontation. Your foot was constantly tapping on the wooden floors, as you played with your hands and glance back at your phone to check the time.

Jungkook finally reaches his destination as he surges through the front doors of the hotel, asking the front desk if you were still staying over. The front desk had called you and informed you that someone had come to see you and if it was okay for them to come over. You hesitantly obliged, cowering every time you heard Jungkook answering whatever questions he was required to answer.

It never really registered through Jungkook’s mind that he was supposed to talk to you. He just planned on spilling his heart out and hoping it would be enough for your forgiveness and just being able to hold you in his arms again.

He takes his time getting to your room. His movements are lethargic and hesitant, taking the time to gather his thoughts. He reaches the floor your room is on as he steps out of the elevator and scans the area to find where your room would be. He slowly walks as he sees your room number, he knocks softly at the door, staring at his shoes.

Your head snaps to the sound of his knocks, you take a deep breath as you stand up and slowly creak open the door. You don’t even bother to try to share any eye contact as you widen the door and motion him to come in.

“Y/N,” he begins, eyes still focused on the floor, “I’m,” he exhales, “I’m so sorry.” He slowly tilts his head up, analyzing your body language. Your hands were clasped in front of you as your eyes shifted back and forth to everything but Jungkook. You could feel his stare burning into you but dismissed it.

“Is that-,” you mutter, “is that all you came here to say to me?

“No!” he interrupts, causing you to flinch. His face softens at your reaction, “I- I fell asleep while working on a song and lost track of time.”

Your jaw clenches at his statement as you take a moment to let what he had told you sink in, “And that makes it all okay?”

“No, of course, it doesn’t-”

“Jungkook, we were supposed to spend this time together with each other. You’re on an actual break for once and you’d still rather dedicate all your time to it instead of spending time with me. All your other members have been going on trips, seeing family, hanging out with friends,” you huff out, glaring at him as he looks at his shoes, “do I not matter to you anymore?”

Your last statement almost made him meltdown right there on the spot. The fact that he had made you believe that he didn’t care about you at all was already bad enough as it is.

He takes a step towards you and looks you straight in the eye, “No, Y/N,” he sighs in exasperation, trying to piece together what he was going to say, “we’ve just been getting so much publicity and gaining so much popularity and fame, I feel like they expect so much from us. And from me. I’m the Golden Maknae, I have to be good at everything and be able to do anything, but in reality, nothing’s working out and I’ve just been stressed as hell and wanting to see you.”

“I’ve never left Jungkook until yesterday, I’ve always been there waiting,” you reveal slowly, “and I really always want to be here for you. Ever since the tour, you stopped contacting me and I just thought you were busy but in the back of my mind, I started thinking that you just didn’t care anymore.”

“But I do, I always did.” he says, taking a step towards you.

“You haven’t proven otherwise, and I don’t want to reach this breaking point just so we can be happy and go through this all over again.” your voice cracks.

“I know, I don’t want that either, but, if this was bothering you for so long, why couldn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Do I really have to remind my own boyfriend to spend time with me?” you scoff as you shake your head in disbelief.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean that, I mean we’ve never had any problems in our relationship up until now, and now that I’m thinking about it, you could’ve told me off and broke up with me a long time ago, but you never told me when you had any problems with me. Yes, I know the things I did were stupid as fuck but Y/N, being in a relationship while balancing my career is still new to me. I’m absolutely clueless and stupid and I need you to guide me so I can be there for you.”

“I-,” you sighed heavily, “I didn’t want to intrude. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you are and I didn’t want to fuck it up.”

“Hey, I’m always willing to give up time for you.” his responds as his eyes soften, “I know it sure as hell may not seem like it, but you shouldn’t prioritize my needs or whatever you think my needs are over yours. Now I’ve just been taking advantage of your leniency. How did I not notice? Fuck, I’m such a dumbass.”

You honestly didn’t know how to respond to that, you knew what you were doing was selfless and you were extremely patient about it all, “I just figured that was the last thing you wanted you know, another thing to worry about on top of your career.”

“I thought about that at first too,” he agreed, biting his lip, “I realized later on that it really shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. I care about you too much to let that happen and the more I got to know you, I realized that, well, you were worth it.”

You could feel his intense glare without even sparing him a glance, “Am I still worth it to you?”

You feel his hand envelop your own as steps towards you once again, “You always will be.”

“You’re making it really hard for me to keep being mad at you,” you huff, tightening your grip around his hand.

He noticed the fact that you were still avoiding eye contact and you remained distant. He tugs on your hand and pulls you close to him, breaking your personal barrier. He pulls you into a warm hug, something you both had craved for so long. The longing and acceptance for one another was mutual, but where were you two supposed to do from there on out?

He loosens his hold on you and pulls away slightly, “Are we okay?”

For the first time that day your eyes met his as you replied, “Yeah, we’re okay.”

Only time would tell.

MASTERLIST

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chaotic-bean-of-smolness · 5 years

Note

For the number one, all of them hehehehe

. . . Well shit . . .1. Do you want a partner?- Yep!2. Last hug?- My friend Reid hugged me today.3. Jealous person?- No, not really. Only when I'm in a relationship.4. Tired?- Kinda.5. Chew yo straws?- I don't use straws.6. Been called a tease?- Maybe~ Lol Hell no.7. Been awake 48 hours straight?- I have insomnia... What do ya think!?!8. Cry easily?- I used to but now I only do when I'm overwhelmed.9. What should you be doing?- Sleeping or hw.10. Heavy sleeper?- I used to be but not anymore.11. Think you can last in a relationship for more than 6 months?- My last relationship was almost 2 years long so yeah.12. You mad at someone right now?- Yes, not saying who though.13. Believe in love?- Of course!14. What makes you laugh? - My friends and John Mulaney.15. Last person you talked to?- My mom.16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like?- No. I've always been really comfortable around my crushes.17. Gettin married?- I'd love to get married some day.18. Last time you smiled?- I smile a lot so... Probably a few minutes ago. 19. Does anyone like you?- I sure hope so.20. Secretly like someone?- Mayybbee~ 💕21. First person you talked to today?- My bus driver probably.22. Most comfortable with?- My cousin, Richie, you (Van), and my friend Reid.23. Not looking forward to?- Exams next week.24. Are looking forward to?- Spending time with My friends during the summer.25. Anyone of the opposite sex told you they love you and meant it?- Other than family members, no.26. You see your ex kissing another person. What do you do?- I don't want to answer this one.27. Plan on moving out within the next year?- Nope.28. Forgiving person?- Absolutely not.29. How many true friends?- Probably 7 or 8.30. Fall for people easily?- Nope.31. Fallen for an ex's best friend?- No but my ex gf was dating my friend Tylef before we got together.32. Last thing in your mouth?- Water...33. Last person you drove with?- My mom, stepdad, and ex gf.34. How long did you stay up, why?- I fell asleep at 1:30. Insomnia.35. Would you move somewhere else?- I'd like to stay here with my family and friends but I would like to travel.36. Last person you took a pic of?- I don't take a lot of pics of people. Probably my ex.37. Live a day without TV?- Yeah.38. Last time you were extremely disappointed?- I'd rather not say.39. 3 names you go by?- Cameron, Cam, and Camera lol.40. Currently in a relationship?- I'm a single pringle.41. All-time favorite romance movie?- The Princess Bride.42. Believe that everyone has a soulmate?- I believe in true love but I don't really believe in soulmates.43. Current problem?- Trying to get out of a depressive episode.44. Been heartbroken?- More than I can count.45. Thoughts on long distance relationships?- I'm willing to be in one. Love has no barriers.46. Kids?- 2 at most.47. Find it hard to telk someone you like them?- YES! I'm so shy!

#asks #friends #uwu #I'm gonna kill you Van #lol #jk

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jimlingss · 5 years

Note

I should have read Jungle Park sooner, but then again at least I got to binge read it these past few days. I have it bookmarked weeeeeks ago. I was debating on whether to read it now or wait until it's finished but but I got nothing to do at work, so I just did it. Hahahah! Anyway, it's soooooo good! Thank you for creating such a wonderful story. -💙

eyy binging’s always nice, but jump onto the Jungle Park ship! There’s still a few more chapters to go that you can catch in real time. On a slightly different topic, I know the series is a lot lol. There’s a fuck ton of chapters so it makes me really grateful that so many people are willing to put time out of their lives to follow the story. It means a lot. So thanks

Anonymous said: JP UPDATES COME IN THE EARLY MORNING FOR ME SO I READ THE FIRST HALF AT HOME THEN THE SECOND HALF IN SCHOOL. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT OMYGHOD I WENT ALL SCREAM MODE IN CLASS EVERYONE LOOKED AT ME BUT I DONT CARE. JUNGLE PARK IS WOW. I LOST HALF OF MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR THE FEELS. HAVE A NICE DAY. TRULY. - anon h.a.n.d.

Anonymous said:im in like, in the angst denial from the get go in this chapter even though ik shit was about to go down. i was like "he's probably gonna kiss her or something bc he knows" WELL IN FACT HE DOESNT BUT SHIT IT WAS BETTER. ALL BETTER. I AM LIVING. have a nice day sweet kina. know that you are touching lives and memories with what you create. - anon h.a.n.d.

Anonymous said:hey so it's like 1:10 am here and i have school tomorrow and im doing my homework. im a bit tired and stuff so while writing i was thinking about what to read on tumblr after i finish my hw (bc i cant survive the night w/o reading something) and then i suddenly remembered the very last sentence hoseok said on chapter 17. Guess what? My paper is wet with tears idek anymore - anon h.a.n.d.

LOL OH MY GOD. If Hoseok kissed her, I’m pretty sure he’d get slapped. holy shit lol. A kiss was FAR FAR FAR from any of their thoughts hahahaha but it’s a funny idea to entertain. Anyways, thanks for being invested but make sure you rehydrate yourself lol

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAAA KINA IM CRYING LIKE FR CRYING THIS CHAPTER WAS SO HEART-WRENCHINGLY SAD I REALLY HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH THIS CHAPTER MADE ME FEEL THINGS AND THAT YOU TRULY OUTDO YOURSELF WITH EVERY CHAPTER. god i wish i could give you a physical, squeeze-you-to-death hug bc i appreciate you so much!! every time i leave a message it’s about how i can’t wait for the next ch. but after today’s post, i’ll be on the edge of my seat for the whole week aaa luv u a bunch, take care! - chanting anon

DO I REALLY OUTDO MYSELF EVERY CHAPTER??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF COMPLIMENT THAT EVEN MEANS TO ME? OMFG A LOT. IT MEANS A LOT. THANK YOU - YOU’RE SO SWEET UGH. no man, you gotta let ME hug YOU. thanks for reading and always sending me a message after every chapter. you’re awesome.

Anonymous said:Hoseok you sweet glorious sunchild, I can't wait to see you suffer more from the reveal of your past... 😘 Welp since I was 14 hours too early, JP is updated on Tuesday in my timezone haha. Feels like I'm someone from the future of something lolol

lol i know for some people JP is posted on Tuesday instead of Monday....but yeah it’s kind of like you’re from the future so there we go haha

Anonymous said:That chapter of Jungle Park!! I feel like crying my heart is so heavy!! You write it so well, it was heart wrenching! I'm happy the secret is out and that they could talk about it, even if it didn't go well 👀 and he loves her!!!! Can't believe he fell for her twice how ironic is that 😂 love love it! Thanks for writing it! - 👀 anon

cat’s finally out of the bag. so many people begged for the secret to be revealed and now that it is.....ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY??!?!??! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?! THIS MADNESS. THIS CHAOS. THIS PAIN?! WEREN’T YOU HAPPY WHEN IT WAS HIDDEN AND EVERYTHING WAS HAPPY?! BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR! SO TAKE IT. LOL

but yeah they finally got to talk about it. anyways, thanks :D

#Jimlings #👀 anon #anon h.a.n.d.#chanting anon #💙#Anonymous

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aminhyuk · 6 years

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tagged by @beyourstar, thank you so much!!! ♡♡♡ (we have the same taste in pizza yay!!)

1. Favourite smell? coffee and cinnamon buns 2. Last time you cried? like, a couple week ago when i was doing math homework? lol 3. Favourite pizza? meat lovers 4. Favourite flower? yulan magnolia 5. Favourite animal? deer or cats 6. Did you go to university? yeah im gonna be finishing up my first year of uni in a few months!! 7. Untie shoes when taking off? hahaha hell no 8. Rollercoaster? NOPE 9. Favourite ice cream? sherbert!! 10. Shorts or Jeans? jeans 11. What music do you listen to? anything but country, mostly kpop 12. Favourite TV programme? i dont watch tv all that much, but i love elementary 13. Tattoos? none 14. Hair colour? dark brown 15. Eye Colour? brown 16. Favourite food to eat? mangoes or california rolls 17. Favourite holiday? christmas 18. Beer or wine? neither 19. Night owl or early morning? night owl LOL 20. Favourite day of the week? erm i like fridays i think? 21. Do you have a nickname? ern, my sister and my roommates call me this, idk why 22. Favourite season? autumn for sure 23. Favourite place to get away? i have a special place in my heart for taiwan even though its always hot as hell when i go 24. Missing someone? my best friend who’s on the other side of the country for uni :( 25. Dream holiday? a month in venice or something 26. Any regrets? ehh, i try not to think about things that like, makes life more difficult than it needs to be 27. Middle name? ting kao! it’s some weird culmination of part of my chinese name and my mother’s maiden name/my chinese last name (kao yi ting is my chinese name) 28. Go back to secondary school? hahhaha fuck that noise no way 29. Ocean or lake? ocean!! 30. Who do you think will do this? ill be tagging: @akaminhyuk, @yookik, @g1rlcrush, @94-hw, and @kihobebe!!

#text #tag games #beyourstar #akaminhyuk #yookik #g1rlcrush #94-hw #kihobebe

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crunchta · 6 years

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answer all of the questions from the ask!! that's what Gabriella did to me!! turn this shit into a tag!!! make Gabriella do the tag too!!!

AaaAHHHH okie dokie no problemo

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

yea kind of  02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My Mom lol 03: Do you regret anything?

I have many regrets  04: Are you insecure?

somewhat 05: What is your relationship status?

single 06: How do you want to die?

Heart attack.  07: What did you last eat?

Cadberry chocolate  08: Played any sports?

Soccer  09: Do you bite your nails?

Eh sometimes, not frequently  10: When was your last physical fight?

Probably a few weeks ago with my brother lmao 11: Do you like someone?

No 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

No 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?Hate is a v strong word. Maybe I strongly dislike certain people.  14: Do you miss someone?

Yes 15: Have any pets?

Uno cat 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I don’t even know  17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nope 18: Are you scared of spiders?

Heck fucking yeck 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Frickity fuckin yeah  20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

France  21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Horseback riding, sleep, hw  22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Maybe? But only 1, maybe 2 23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Just ears pierced  24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

I love history, art, geography  25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah 26: What are you craving right now?

Some fuckin sleep  27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Maybe?  28: Have you ever been cheated on?

No 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

yeah, sixth grade lmao  30: What’s irritating you right now?

Nothing at the moment  31: Does somebody love you?

Yea my parents  32: What is your favourite color?

Blue  33: Do you have trust issues?

Meh?  34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Don’t remember lol  35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My mom 36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Probably  37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forget 38: Is this year the best year of your life?

It’s starting out ROUGH man  39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

13/14 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

No but now I want to  51: Favourite food?

Meats  52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

No.  53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Turned in a literature assignment  54: Is cheating ever okay?

Nope  55: Are you mean?

Yea sometimes. But only to certain people  56: How many people have you fist fought?

Just my brother lol 57: Do you believe in true love?

I believe in something like true love  58: Favourite weather?

Rainnn 59: Do you like the snow?

Yes  60: Do you wanna get married?

Yeah. Maybe even elope.  61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Idk why but I hate when guys say it but not when girls say it,,,, 62: What makes you happy?

Drawing and watching tv in my room  63: Would you change your name?

Nope 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

I don’t even remember who that was  65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I don’t know what to do when people like me.  66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Not really?  67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

This kid Wayne. Kid. He’s older than me. This child Wayne.  68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Kathryn  69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe in a type of soulmate.  70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Yes?

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mysticalfriends · 7 years

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Anon Asks: Pets

It’s under the cut for length reasons. I hope y’all enjoy this peek into our lives~ Thank you for asking anon! We all had a lot of fun writing this <3 Mod Vem

Us Mods’ Pets:

Vem - Oh dear, sweet nonny. You have no idea what you just asked. I have all sorts of pets in the house. The ones I claim are 3 cats and a snake. If you want to count the snake food, I’ve got another...7 mice in the freezer. Wow, that sounds really bad to people who don’t have special diet pets doesn’t it? I didn’t intend to have 3 cats either. There are stories for each of my cats, and I’d be happy to share but otherwise this is going to get unreasonably long. Their names are Neko, Drei, and Zuko, and they are all adorable. The snake is actually the oldest, and I actually never liked any names suggested, so she’s just ‘Snakey’. I got her when I was 12, and if you can guess how I got the names for my cats you can tell that I’m really bad at naming things. Thank you for asking, I love talking about my ‘non-human friends’! You give me smiles <3

Ro- Unlike everyone else, I’m forever alone and I have absolutely no pets. However, I do like to hang out with my friends cats and dogs, though they don’t live with me so I only see them about once or twice a week. Thanks for asking! <3

Rikyn: (I think I wrote too much, I just love talking about my cats) I love animals so much~! I have four cats. Fluffy is the eldest cat that all the others respect. She's a fluffy black cat, and she's treated like a true queen. My mom treats her like Jumin treats Elizabeth the 3rd. Then there's Princess. She was my older sister's cat, but she was unable to take care of her. Princess is my absolute favorite cat we've ever had. Her and I talk to each other through series of meows. She's also a black cat, but she's short haired. Next is Flower, she's the most gorgeous cat ever. She's a tortoise shell cat, and her fur and eyes are so pretty. She loves attention from everyone, even little kids. My sister found her on the streets of New York, but she couldn't keep her, so we took her in. Lastly, there's Lily. We found Lily on our porch almost two years ago. She was the runt of the litter, and her mom abandoned her. So, my older sister and I sat out on the porch and petted (is that a word?) her for hours. My mom knew that there was going to be a giant snow storm the next day, so we let her into the house. My mom and dad both have soft spots for her. It's so pure.

Jaenna: Nah, no pets (but I’d love one!) My mum’s allergic, so I can’t really. I have a solar panelled waving cat on my desk though, does that count? And actually, I did once have a rabbit named after Jake from the Tweenies and 2 gold fish named Ant and Dec.

Jelly- I love talking about my pets. I have two dogs, a lab mix named Luna and a beagle mix named Charlie. Luna loves attacking towels. We don't know why. She loves being in a car and driving around town with us, and it's adorable to see her reactions to other dogs and hoomans. Charlie isnt as playful, he'll attack Luna and they'll fight (playfully though) but he doesn't play with us often. He has separation anxiety so he whines a lot when my oldest brother is working. Next, we have two cats, Ming-Ming and Stripers. Ming is a Siamese mix. We're not too sure what else there is in her. She's the daughter of Stripers and loves being pet and loves playing. Stripers, on the other hand, is scared of us for some reason. Some days she's fine and will let us pet her, other days she runs away if we happen to step in the same area. We used to have more cats but they either died (;-;) or ran away. I used to own a cat named Rascal. He was my favourite animal to exist ever. But one day, after school, mom, my sister, and I were driving into the garage when Rascal ran straight into the tire. I cried for about four hours straight that day and we had a lil funeral and buried him. I didn't mean for this to become so sad haha. Thanks for the ask~

Sarin- ohhhh boy! A chance to talk about my pets~! I have two cats, and a horse! My oldest cat is Kitty Kinz. She’s sassy and fluffy, and loves to suckle on soft things for some reason? It’s adorable, but it’s also gross going to grab my robe and there’s a wet spot. My newest addition is named Cheeto. He kinda adopted us, in a way. He just started hanging around our house earlier this year, maybe around March, and as he was skinny, we fed him. It took a while, but we were eventually were able to get close and pet him (he’s very cuddly!), just don’t pick him up, lol. Now, for my dog horse Mija! I got her about 8 years. I got her when she was 2. We both learned together, and she is my baby girl. She follows me around like a dog and gets super jealous when I work with other horses. She was abused, and I’m not going to get into it here (its a super long story), but if you are curious you can pm me on my personal blog and I will certainly tell you more!

Saemoni: I have an old dog, his name is Tito (I named him like that). He’s been with me ever since I was 6 years old (a lot of years), I got him after moving to the city where I live in. He’s a beagle, doesn’t know how to behave (still love him), and he’s blind, he’s been blind for about 3 years? Doctor said it was because it’s something common in beagles, so it’s no problem. I haven’t been with him a lot recently because I have so much HW and other activities, but I love bathing him and playing a bit (he gets tired pretty easily because he’s old). He barks at night, worst time ever, I always tell him to quiet down, but I can only get him to do that if I stay with him for a few minutes and let him sleep in (I usually leave him out in my garden because he prefers it, and it’s common to do that here where I live), but if it’s raining or really cold I let him sleep in the kitchen or in a bathroom my family and I don’t use. He’s my only pet, but I want a cat hehehe, I won’t buy one soon because my dog gets jealous pretty easily and also because it would be too much for me to take care of two pets.

Rion - So I have 4 pets. 1 dog, her name is Daisy and she’s an English Springer Spaniel who is a complete moron. She will cry if she can’t be a little spoon at night time and runs into doors on a daily basis. Then theres the 3 cats. Nala who is our Bengal, she likes to escape from the living room and hide in cupboards, yelling when we have to put her away. She jumps onto my shoulders automatically when I enter the living room and she only does it for me. She’s also a show cat, we have pedigree papers and sometimes take her to local showings. We have Ash who’s a British Shorthair, he’s super chill and quiet. He literally purrs when someone enters the room. Then there’s Denzel, we adopted him from a family friend as their toddler was really bad with him, he is so food orientated and yells when you take food away to refill the bowl.

#anon asks #pets #Mod Vem #ask the mods

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hotdogwithablog · 5 years

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03.06.19

I feel like I have pretty interesting days; not like the whole day is a wild party, but there are some weird/interesting/quirky things that happen. I really like talking and telling stories, so instead talking someone’s ear off bc of built up stories of things that happen, I thought I could start a blog about my days. Nothing to crazy and it’s not a do or die commitment but I’ll do my best to update this every day with fun tid bits of my day and possibly some nature-y pictures I take sometimes.

We’ll treat this like my first of classes and jump from the syllabus to the first lesson/review for the quiz that will be in 3 days:))

I don’t really feel like “catching up” from my past few days/weeks/months so I’ll just give an intro and if you want *skip the intro* you can go to the next paragraph. I thought of that because I’d always skip the intro to Shameless, which I unknowingly finished earlier today lol. Well yea, so, my life kind of changed for the new year (how quirky of me) bc I transferred to UCR and moved. I fell in love with Trader Joe’s a few months ago and it’s been a great time ever since (I’ll probably mention their products often oops). I take the bus a lot and spend a lot of time on schoolwork and when I’m not doing that I’m teaching music to high school/college students. I’m a mechanical engineering student so if you’re wondering why I’m complaing about homework, or how I wanna cry when I finally understand my homework, that’s why. But I love it so yea it’s just me being dramatic. You might read a lot about how I overdress, because I tend to wear too many layers or just dress too warm in general and then I’m sweaty walking around school. I don’t do this on purpose, I just wake up and anywhere but under my covers feels like it’s 50 degrees so I dress to warm up, not based on the temperature outsid; it’s a tragic flaw of mine. I’m not sure how much more of an intro I should include so I’ll just leave it at that.

Today

I saw the same guy at the bus stop that I’ve seen for the past few mornings so that was cool. It’s like having a stranger/friend, an acquaintance per se. I had to take off my jacket while I was waiting bc I was already sweaty, mind you the weather app said 60 and it felt like 80. That guy and I were both sweaty and facing away from the sun bc it was boiling hot. I have on solid friend in my HIST class and she didn’t have an umbrella, as the whole class was listening to the roar of the rain on the building. After class I had a 3 hour gap before I could go to my professors office hours so I did some work. Got my EE hw done and messed with another essay and then saw how terrible my resume was so I was trying to fix that. That’s tough, I have done a lot with music but with my engineering resume that leaves me with close to nothing so I asked to talk to my mentor (another transfer ME student) later and we did and it was super helpful. After talking to her I had decided that I wasn’t going to my next class, I felt exhausted mentally and physically (mind you I’d move my deathbed into a lecture hall to make sure I didn’t miss anything) so I just went with it. I was out of juice and eggs so I went to Ralph’s and naturally I came out with much more than that but it was needed. I guess nothing super fun happened today other than me being on a struggle bus the whole day with the sweaty ness and carrying around 30 pounds of school stuff and an umbrella.

Anyway here’s some pictures from my walks:

And here’s some misc ones:

#journal #dailyblog #nature #grandpaaesthetic #storytelling

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tintoki · 7 years

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april 9th, 2017, early morning. 1:28am -- start

sitting in this room, listening to IU’s ‘through the night’ while being surrounded by a firefly-light type glow.

this is my favorite part about the weekends. late night, single room, comfortable bed with lots of pillows and stuffed animals, calm music, and this… glow. it warms my heart. my laptop battery is 5%; i’m too comfortable to move and get the charger. it’s almost 1:30, but i still want to sing to this song; i still open my mouth to sing as quietly as i can, even though I want to sing as loudly as my heart yearns. i’m afraid someone might hear me.

i think about today. i was supposed to start doing my readings that i procrastinated on for the whole day, but i’m still procrastinating by deciding to write this. i think it’s healthy to do this, so i will. health comes first.

anyway, i think about today. i’m not sure what i feel. sad? no, more like– down?? i feel like i’ve been running nonstop since forever. mentally drained. i feel like spring break was all just a dream; the things that happened a week ago don’t feel real. being back in this room, in this place, with the setting looking the exact same way it did 2-3 weeks ago on a weekend is so…. suffocating, really.

it’s really…. suffocating.

I feel like I’ll cry. I miss…. home? I miss….. my family?

But sometimes, I don’t miss my family. I miss the idea, the endless recall of my thoughts, of my family being a family.

At this point, i’m tearing up. we. are. broken. (?)

I miss the stars from back home, too. I can’t see them here, its too hard to see them. only the moon is on my side these days.

Ah~ ahh– 0%.

I hum the song as I tear. Bring me back….

why is nobody ever here when i need someone. no– rather, how come i can’t bring myself the courage to ask someone for help?

–but it’s okay. it’s always been like that. tomorrow morning when i wake up, ill probably feel shitty at first, but then it’ll feel like nothing ever happened all over again.

at least it’s not as bad as it used to be anymore. not recently, at least. not in the past 4 months.

i think it’s normal – for people our age to be like this, but i also think a lot of people realized it pretty late; there are others like me who realized it too early.

anyway, I woke up today at a good time. 10am. I watched disney cartoons and ate pizza in bed with my hair up in a small bun. later, I got ready for volunteering, 1-5pm. I tried my best with the kids again. learned a few things. I met and made some new friends today, but also said goodbye to a few others. today was just a constant reminder that things never really stay the same and are constantly changing.

I already know this. i’ve known it since 6th grade. I know, I know. you don’t have to remind me. I can take it – I can accept it now. Don’t worry.

I stopped tearing up awhile back. I’m fine again.

it’s 2:06am now. I changed the song to the acoustic ver. of Monsta X’s ‘beautiful.’

we left volunteering kind of late. I guess we were having too much fun. I was saying good bye. I looked back, then looked forward.

we went to walmart afterwards, xD. we had fun laughing about bts and summer memories. i got dropped off at home. i didn’t see anyone in the house, so i ate while watching my cartoons again. i hummed as i cleaned the kitchen. I went to my room to rest on my bed. after an hour or two, I called home. I facetimed nikki, isabel, and my old man. mama cut her hair, it looks cute on her. she smiled, and I wanted to cry.

o fck, not again…………………………….

I was as kind as I could be; I missed them, even though it’s only been a week. I missed them, even if they didn’t miss me. I told them I wanted to be home. I wanted to help them out with the chores and stuff. I just wanted to be with them again.

do I have to endure 3 months of this again?

sometimes I wonder, why did I pick such a far away school, man. I don’t regret it, but sometimes I just wonder, how could I have made this experience feel less painful over the years?

I always get a little jealous whenever my roommates’ families come over to give them food or just to pick them up. they invite me out, but I think i’d feel worse if I came along with them.

anyway, the point is that this is not just about feeling homesick; it’s not about school this time, or something stupid. it’s about something my dad said that bothered me, because it reminded me of something i didn’t want to hear.

I had fun the past couple of days - a lot of fun, a lot of smiling, a lot of stress. but, in the end, there are things that will always haunt me, of course.

Lol, i’m probably going to wake up tomorrow and read this shit and then feel really stupid that I wrote all this again. Eh, whatever. sometimes sleep is the best solution.

hmmmmm. After I facetimed them, I went to wash my dishes and then took a shower. I think after that, I watched BTS stuff and downloaded a lot of music, my muse of health and mind.

ok. i’m hungry now (haha.). and kind of sleepy. i’m going to try reading my hw, and then before I sleep, I will read manga. I miss reading actual books though. I want to go to barnes&nobles someday just to read there, as if it were a library. I hope I can sleep in tomorrow (today).

–end: 2:48am.–

post notes:

I want it, but I don’t want it. i’m sorry.

Girls have complex brains, haha. well, at least mine is.

sometimes i wonder if i’ve changed, too. did I manage to take a step forward after having taken so many steps backward?

#prsnl

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