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#sorry but the word for that still IS narcissistic
femmeconomics · 18 days
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random but it’s annoying to me that ‘narcissist’ is like. colloquially referring to the diagnosis now. like it’s a word outside of psychology too. it’s like if i was like “wow he’s such an asshole” and someone was like “oh, he’s been diagnosed with Asshole Personality Disorder?” or like “he’s stupid” “you mean he’s clinically Unintelligent?” like. girl no. clearly i am using this word in an non-professional manner. i am making an observation and using an adjective. not every adjective requires a doctor’s input and they cannot claim all the useful adjectives
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cowboycostume · 2 years
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I just hope to God that we are right when we say: 'I love you' [youtube]
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hershelwidget · 2 years
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I wanna shift away from MSM for day 3 so I proudly present you this amazing ship my friends came up with for Gloating Narcissist and Cackling Cannoneer
I love how they both have big personalities and both of them were highly simped over when they first showed up
Anyways high quality ship kudos to my friends for having big brain moments like this
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jimines · 2 years
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#this is just a little vent/update on some stupid shit going on on here regarding someone i won’t name#but i need to talk about it and vent bc im so frustrated at this whole thing#so i cut a friend off recently.. told them in a *very* heated message how i felt about all the terrible shit they'd said and done recently#and demanded they do not try to contact me anymore and blocked them immediately after#no surprise 5mins later i got two anons from them in my inbox trying to start a fight however i blocked the IP after those two#i even went so far as to disable my webpage for a few days to try and deter them both from sending anons and from stalking my page#and i shouldnt have had to unblock them to tell them for the second time to leave me alone and to stop trying to start things with me#because the last time we argued it was six weeks of emotional damage that i am still really messed up from#after all this it was radio silence - or so i thought#because i've received word now twice that this person has been saying untrue things to friends of friends#trying to start drama and rumours all because i cut them off and they didn't get that fight and that last word they so desperately need ?#i just…why? why why why? why does everything have to become a drama? this is why narcissists scare me..#it took me over a year to realize thats what they are and that id been manipulated so fucking bad.. which is nothing short of embarassing#the way this anxiety has been weighing on my chest lately and dulling my time here is something that shouldnt be happening#im so so tired of all of it.. the drama and the fights and the rumours.. i physically cannot go through this kind of thing again#idk if anyone is reading this but im sorry for being so absent and unresponsive and (often times) really negative on my blog#its just so hard to be happy and positive and excited when this potential drama is looming over me day after day ya know?#im trying to push through and be here because i genuinely WANT to be here but its so fucking exhausting sometimes im constantly paranoid#i pray things will come to a rest and nothing will explode bc mentally i cannot take it anymore and i wont be sticking around in that case#i refuse to put myself through the emotional trauma that nicole put me through again. i REFUSE. so if i suddenly deactivate this is why.#but i wont be going down alone thats for sure#c.text
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angelkittycore · 9 months
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if someone isn't posting and isn't responding to you then its quite obvious they haven't seen your messages, probably because they're afk and/or asleep?
#i got accused of disrespecting a narcissist because i was asleep when they decided to yell at me for saying their post sucked#the post in question was the one about how getting revenge against your abuser is continuing the cycle of abuse#mutual abuse is a myth#you cannot abuse your abuser back because the majority of abuse is an imbalance of power at its core#not every survivor copes the way you do by forgiving and/or forgetting or letting go of their anger#i cannot speak for anybody but myself but reclaiming my anger is a huge part of my healing process#because i was groomed to think it was a toxic emotion and that it would make people be right about me if i were to show it#continuing the cycle of abuse is about how the abused become abusers with others#especially with their own kids#it's not about flipping the dynamic between the victim and the abuser already involved#this kind of mindset is toxic positivity and toxic recovery#now i'm not saying people should go out of their way out there and start actually hurting the abuser how they were hurt#but i am saying that if people happen to do that then i honestly don't care and i think it's deserved#anyway this was a fun way to wake up and get online /s#i am not responsible for your impatience im sorry but im just not#thats a thing you have to work on for yourself and you need to stop doing that#i understand it might trigger rsd to hear something like that because i know it did in me when i was younger but its the truth#you cant keep trying to hurt people because you thought they were ignoring you when they werent#anyway sometimes your posts just suck because they genuinely suck and not because you worded things wrong#your edited post still sucks because its still implying that getting revenge is abusive#its not lol.#let survivors cope and heal the way they think is best for them
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satorena · 6 months
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❝ 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 ! ❞
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꒰ CONTENT WARNINGS ! ꒱ : explicit content, foul language, intern!reader, businessman!gojo, satoru’s a bit of a pervert in this one, and also really fucking annoying but he’s just in love fr, oral, slight breath play, unprotected sex, breeding. they fuck in an elevator, and i use a lot of italics here, oops!
serena’s note. he’s so fucking insufferable i want him so bad. also this 4.3k words. i’m so sorry.
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oh but of course, since the odds were always against your favour, had you found yourself stuck in this incredulous predicament.
it’d been a long day of enduring misogynistic, narcissistic higher ups and pricks, and you wanted nothing more than to hop in your car and drive off home, hop in bed and sleep.
sounded like an ideal and realistic plan, until the sole purpose of your life’s oppression waltzed in seconds before the elevator’s doors shut, pearly white teeth flashing through a smug grin and icy blues shimmering through dark shades that rested atop his nose bridge.
you huffed, almost at your wit’s end as the elevator’s door automatically reopened at the unwanted presence detected in its sensory, and the tall frame steps in with slow strides and a stupid fucking smile on his lips, hands in the pockets of his slacks, striding as if he stepped out of vogue’s magazine.
“see somethin’ you like, wifey?” satoru chuckled, stepping side to side by your posed frame. why he chose to stand beside in this very unoccupied elevator, you’d never understand but you did know you weren’t going to entertain his bullshit today.
you bit back the insult that rested at the tip of your tongue, “floor?” your index finger hovered over the panel, waiting for him to tell you.
“same as yours,” gojo shrugged, to which you decided on closing the doors instead.
“what business you got on the 2nd floor?” you muttered, suspicions growing at the fact that he coincidentally had shit to do on the same floor as yours.
the boyish smirk he flashed you sent chills down your spine, “whatever business you got on that floor.”
you sighed exasperatedly, soon piecing together that gojo was certainly not going to the second floor to pack his belongings to head home, seeing as he was one of the higher ups that spent longer hours in the office when the interns’ shifts would end.
you pinch the bridge of your nose; “gojo.” you say his name, tone clipped and full of fatigue.
“y/n.” he answers back with your name, a flashy grin baring on thirty two teeth.
you breathe in deeply, reminding yourself to count to ten before you lost your shit. you step near the control panel and press on the main lobby floor, the first, where you decide to send him off. chances were he was heading down there to do his daily flirting with the new secretary hired anyway.
“did ya change your mind?” his voice spawns from right at your ear, and you still in shock at his proximity, noting he’s much closer to you than earlier. “we goin’ to the first floor instead?”
“we are not going anywhere.” you tilt your head to the side, glaring at him through your falsies. he shifts his own head, still fucking smiling, feigning ignorance. “you are going to the first floor, and i’m going to the fifth.”
his smile drops, finally, but at what cost? “why would i do that?” he has the nerve to genuinely sound confused, as if you were the one not making any sense out of this situation.
“why wouldn’t you?” you counter back, lifting an index finger to place atop his forehead, before pushing his head back, “don’t you got better shit to do? like harass a newbie and disguise it as flirting or somethin’?”
“is that not what i’m doing right now?” he jokes, grabbing the finger that pushed him back. you scowl, a bit upset at the fact you walked right into that one.
“besides,” he speaks up, directing your finger towards the control panel once more. “what if i had business on the… seventh floor?”
you furrow your brows, your own eyes watching as he uses your nail to press on the seventh floor button. you try to ignore how warm and soft his hands feel against your, in contrast to the coolness of his rings.
“orrrr,” he drags out, tightening the hold on your hand once more and raising your hand higher on the panel. “what if i had business on the thirteenth floor? maybe the ninth too?”
“gojo.” you warn him, clicking your tongue when realizing what game he’s starting to play at. you definitely don’t feel goosebumps form at your skin hearing his chuckle resonate right in your ear.
“that german intern’s a babe, ain’t she?” he hums pensively, his thumb rubbing circles at the center of your palm. “i might wanna see her too.” he brings your hand to the eight floor and applies enough pressure to see it illuminate.
“are you fucking kidding me?” you get annoyed, attempting to rip your hand away from his hold but fail, when you feel him creep even closer in your bubble, your ass undoubtedly pressing into his crotch.
your eyes widen, half shock half disbelief, a sudden appearance of what seems to be gojo junior stirring awake poking at your short skirt. oh fuck.
“or,” he whispers, minty breath sending jolts of electricity up your back. he drags your hand messily over the panel, about three fourths of the floors illuminating and you know you’re fucked. “maybe i wanna stay stuck in here with you…”
you blink back to reality, dismissing whatever possible emotion you were beginning to feel emerge in your core. with a sharp tug, you manage to free yourself from his grasp and turned on your heel to face the tall bastard.
“i’m gonna need you to back off and instantly—you fuckin’ creep.” you snarl, pointer finger pointing at him accusingly, hoping it sets an exemplary distance between you both.
gojo breaks into laughter, the kind that has his shoulders shaking and has him doubling over as if you’d just told him the world’s greatest joke. you watch him dumbfoundedly, your left eye twitching as he continued to ridicule you.
“fine, fine. sorry princess, i was just teasing.” he pushes his frames up to his hairline, messy strands of hair pushed out the way as he wipes a fake tear from the corner of his eyes.
you roll your eyes, pushing past him to make your way back to where you’d been prior to these stupid events. if you were gonna be stuck on this elevator ride longer than necessary because of the pit stops, you’d simply ignore him and hope he catches the hint.
you stare straight ahead at the elevator door, feeling the ride descend from the twentieth floor downwards. fuck that tall, stupid and rich bastard for dragging this elevator ride past its needed time limit.
from your peripheral, you make out his form leaning forward to catch your straight gaze. you were ignoring him and he knew, “you mad at me?”
you remain quiet, silently praying that at one of these next stops another worker would step in and ease the situation more.
gojo frowns, eyebrows pinched to the center his forehead, “c’mon, i was joking! honest! i really am sorry.”
the silence, safe for the elevator music, answered him everything he needed to know. you were always such difficult nut to crack, but what you failed to acknowledge was the more you pushed him away the more he grew attracted to you.
he sighs, before slinging his arm over your shoulders, dropping most of his body weight onto you. he watches as you nearly stumble from the sudden imbalance, before looking up to him with that adorable pout of yours that he wants to fuck out of you.
oops.
“what now, gojo?” you ask him with so much attitude, your expression bored. “can’t leave me alone for a single fucking elevator ride? you that obsessed with bothering me?”
“you got it all wrong,” gojo shakes his head, snow white tresses shaking with him and his shades falling right back to place on his nose. “i’m not obsessed with bothering you— i’m obsessed with you period. been obsessed since that time you chucked piping hot coffee on my givenchy button down.”
you frown deeply at that, reflecting at how long ago that had been. you knew what kind of guy he was. after all, who hadn’t heard of gojo satoru in this forsaken company? he dipped his dick in anything with a pulse and moved onto the next big thing whenever he got bored—
or so you’ve heard.
you stare at him for a minute, processing his words. he shamelessly stares back at you, now looping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side.
“see something you like, wifey?” he repeats himself, his favorite nickname for you making another appearance. you ignore how his hands stroke your bare arms.
you stifle a laugh, snorting incredulously at him before breaking into a full blown laughter. maybe you now understood why gojo had done the same just a little while ago, because the look of offence on his face had made the situation funnier than it was initially.
“what’s funny?! i’m here professing my feelings for you and you’re laughing?!” gojo complains like the manchild he is, dragging syllables and all, rosy lips falling into a pout.
“fuck— i’m sorry, did you think i was gonna believe that?” your laughter dies down, sighing deeply in attempts to catch your breath. “no, seriously, do you take me for an idiot?”
“believe it or not, it’s the truth,” he mumbles, leaning his chin at the top of your skull. “even ask nanamin. been treating him as my walking diary since suguru left.”
you don’t want to think about if that holds any truth or not. you tilt your head up, enforcing eye contact with him, “i think you’re confused. it’s definitely not love, or anything in between. you’re just horny and want to fuck me.”
“well,” he looks down, mouth salivating at the point of view presented of your breast, sitting up in all their glory in your blouse. “i won’t lie and say that isn’t true. but why is it so hard to believe i have feelings for you? i literally am obsessed with you, why else would i deliberately wast time and sit through all twenty floors here with you?”
speaking of, you look at the indicator and notice you’re only at the seventeenth floor. how slow was this damn ride? there’s absolutely no way you’d only been through less three floors this whole time? was time still in this elevator or what?
wait—
“oh shit.” you hear the man cuss. you fear that’s all the confirmation you needed, as your eyes pan towards the control panel and notice all the buttons are illuminating on and off.
silence fills the air, and you’re just realizing the elevator music had stopped playing. your luck bites, you decide, as you reevaluate all you wanted to do; grab your shit from the second floor and go the fuck home.
you try not to freak out, the fear of being trapped in an elevator period catching up to you mixed with anger rising in your blood at the blue eyed freak who’s the sole cause for this unfortunate situation.
“don’t freak out, but like,” he begins to speak, corner of his lips tugging into a sympathetic smile, “we’re definitely stuck here.”
he deserves the punch to the guts he gets.
“you sit your ass on that end of the room,” you push him to one extremity of the elevator. he’s doubled over, groaning in agony at the blow he received. “and i’ll be sitting here. do not, and i cannot stress this enough, talk to me.”
time flies really fucking slowly, you notice as you check your dying phone every five minutes, waiting for the damn maintenance of this place to do their job and get you out of this elevator.
gojo had complied to your demand and hasn’t said a word to you in about twenty minutes. his long legs sprawled across the floor, one leg raised as he rested his arm atop his knee.
you didn’t want to admit it, but you were getting bored. and hungry. very hungry, and uncomfortably hot. did the air conditioning in here cut off too? most likely, damn your life.
you sat as gracefully as you could in your tight skirt and heels, tucking your legs into chest in hopes your shins were covering your inner thighs. though, you weren’t certain if you were doing a good job, judging by the way you could feel gojo’s stare at you behind the shades and the way he shifted in his seat.
he tilts his head to the side, index finger swiping over his nose and he sniffs, “figures you’re the lace type.”
you feel all the fight flee your body, all but exhausted as you bite into whatever he chews. you needs entertainment, even if it came in form of a 6’3 imbecile with an outfit the cost of your rent.
“figures you’ve been staring at my panties this whole time, when else are you ever this quiet?” you clap back, making no motion to switch positions. besides, he was manspreading with his whole boner poking through his slacks and he remained shameless. why couldn’t you?
he smirks, lifting his hand and leaning his cheek in his palm, “i’ve spent the last twenty minutes thinking about the things i’d do to you if you’d let me.”
gojo was so fucking shameless, you hated how it turned you on at times. you must’ve been truly out of it, lack of food in your system or something, because your answer flies out of you almost too naturally, “show me your worst then.”
in the blink of an eye, you both find yourselves back on your feet, your back pressed against the wall of the elevator as your lips mold feverishly with his. gojo kisses you like he’s been wanting to do so for years, his strong arms wrapping around your middle and pushing your body tighter against him.
you’re no better, hands flying to the back of his neck and your nails tugging at messy locks. he moans against your lips at a particular tug, one hand slipping past your waist and slides up your thigh. he lifts your leg and wraps it around his hip, applying pressure into the middle of your legs.
“fuck,” you moan softly against pink lips, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. he hums, your bottom lip tucked in his teeth as he pushes up into you once more.
“feel good?” he mumbles against your lips, sneaking a few kisses while awaiting for your response. his hold on your thigh is firm, wanting to hold you in place to keep grinding into you and drawing these pretty sounds out of you.
you nod your head before throwing it back against the wall, to which his lips leave yours to attack at your neck. he’s kissing and licking and nipping at your sensitive skin, leaving dark love bites.
“you fuckin’ teenager,” you complain, knowing he was intentionally marking you in visible areas, so you’d be the next talk of the week. “just had to be there, didn’t it?”
“couldn’t help it,” you feel his smirk against your jugular, to which you roll your eyes. “you smell so fucking good here, shit, i could eat you up— actually…”
you snort as he pulls away from the crook of your neck, and you eye how dishevelled he looks. even with messy hair, saliva streaking his cheeks and swollen lips, he still looked fucking hot.
you don’t have much time to reflect on his beauty because he’s soon kneeling down in front of you, hands creeping up in your skirt and tugging down at your lace undergarment. it slides off your legs with ease, and is soon in his possession, to which he stuffs in his pockets.
“i will.” he finally completes his sentence, lifting your leg over his shoulder.
he holds a firm grip on your thigh as your skirt hikes up, and he feasts. his lips latch onto your lower ones and slurps up your juices. his tongue swipes at your wet folds, moaning at the taste, which drives you to mush.
you throw your head back, hands coming in contact with his tresses, expressing the delight you feel through the tugs at his hair. whenever you’d pull hard at his hair, he’d moan into your cunt, which would result in making you moan louder and pull harder, and the cycle repeats.
“f-fuck, hah—gojo,” you whine when you feel a single digit prod into your pussy. he multitasks with fucking you open with his finger while sucking at your clit and lapping up your juices.
“shit, mhm, keep going,” you push his head deeper into your legs, momentarily forgetting you’re cutting out his breathing circulation.
you then realize he truly doesn’t mind, as his eyes roll to the back of his skull and moans even more sinfully into your dripping pussy.
it didn’t take much more than a few extra fingers to drive you over the edge, and you spray your essence in his mouth as he happily swallows every single drop you offer to him. your thighs quake and you feel yourself lose balance but he makes sure to hold you still.
you ride your high on his face, breathing heavily as you come down from your orgasm. he pulls away from in between your legs, breathing heavily with a smitten smile on his lips. “bon appétit,” he jokes, using the back of his hand to wipe himself clean.
you snort at his childishness, “shut up and gimme a moment to return you the favour.”
and just like that, you find yourself now kneeling and gojo hovered over you. he stretched his arm to hold himself up against the wall while simultaneously watching you swallow his cock whole.
now, all cocky shit aside, gojo was nowhere near small sized. he packed a big one, and the fact that you were so confidently gobbling him up, head bobbing up and down on his length, hands twisting and jerking whatever you failed to reach.
“fuckfuckfuck—shiiit, dammit y/n, your mouth feels fuckin’ amazing,” gojo whines pathetically, leaning his forehead against the cool wall.
it unintentionally forces his tip deeper in your throat and you gag around him, throat constricting around his dick and fuck if his knees hadn’t buckled.
you knew gojo was a spontaneous man, so him suddenly reaching the back of your head and pushing you deeper on his dick shouldn’t have surprised you. you were now deepthroating him as he praised you endlessly, telling you how perfect you were taking him, how warm and tight your mouth felt, how he was going to cum if you kept playing with his balls.
when he does nut, your nose reaches his pubic hairs, curly white hairs ticking you as you inhale his musk in attempt to force yourself to suppress your gag. he cums a riverbank down your throat and naturally you swallow it all, pulling off him when he finishes and seeing a string of cum and saliva connect his blushing pink tip to your lips.
“fuck,” he chuckles breathlessly, hand laying atop of your head and patting your hair gently before sliding down to your jaw. his thumb strokes your skin, “come up here, wanna kiss you again.”
“sap.” you tease but lift yourself, knees wobbly but you manage.
you’re back to standing, and your hands quickly find themselves back to his nape, threading your fingers gently through his hair. he kisses you much less rushed but instead takes his time, savours the taste of him on your tongue as you taste yourself on his.
the kiss is sensual and sloppy, drool pooling at the corner of your lips as he kisses you like his lifeline depends on it. his hands slip at your ass, grabbing the mounds with handfuls.
he pulls away just slightly, wording against your lips “jump.”
you comply, jumping and he catches you gracefully, showing no signs of struggle. you wrap your legs around his waist and proceed to kiss him again, your back coming in contact with the wall. you feel him grind his hardening dick against your bare pussy, and if you had half your regular mind, you’d have been embarrassed by how badly you were dripping over him.
“‘m gonna fuck you now,” gojo mumbles against your lips, lips peppering kisses at the corner of your saliva coated mouth. “that good with you, princess?”
you give him a flat look, fingers still carding through his soft locks. “use your thinking skills and guess.”
he smiles at you, almost too sincere and raw, and you feel your eyes shy away from his gaze, focusing instead at the beauty mark marked at the base of his neck. “hey, consent is sexy, meanie.”
“the sexiest,” you feed into his bite, giggling when you feel him nuzzle his nose in the crook of your neck. his crown of hair tickles at your skin. “now hurry up.”
you surely don’t have to tell him twice as he pulls out of your neck and grabs the base of his dick, placing his tip at your pulsating hole and pushes inside.
the synchronization of both your moans blend into each others, as your gaze on one another never breaks. he watches you intently, blue eyes narrowing into your facial reactions, wanting to memorize every twitch of muscles in case this was ever his last opportunity to.
“mmhm—yes, baby,” you claw at his back, eyes droopy and hazy as he thrusts into you at a slow yet intense pace. if gojo noticed the term of endearment you slipped up, he made no show in pointing it out, and you were thankful.
the stretch of his cock at your pussy sent a fiery feeling spreading towards all of your limbs. the squelching of your pussy tightening and clenching at his dick filling the room. he soon picked up his pace, railing into you with every fibre in his body, loving the way your body bounced up in reaction to his thrusts.
he fucked you into that wall, dug so deep into your cunt you were sure you felt him in your stomach. well no wonder why women were obsessed with him, he was definitely a pleaser. a stinging bitter feeling momentarily crawled up your throat before dissipating when you caught his eyes staring at you with something you’d usually refer to as admiration.
“god, this pussy is heaven fucking sent—never had anythin’ like it—oh shit baby, gotta have more of this— gotta have more of you, please y/n—need this all the fuckin’ time,” he praised you like it was the only thing he knew how to do.
he was a verbal man, you knew, but it amplified during sexual activities. you shamefully moaned at every praise he threw at you, pussy clenching at his dick, warmth oddly settling in your chest. you scratched at his back, he bit into your shoulders, nipped at your lips and rammed your core.
in little to no time, you felt that tide of pleasure washing over you, your cervix unable to take anymore of his tip bullying into it.
“gojo, fuckkk, ‘m so fucking close!” you mewl brokenly, as tears stream down your cheeks from the overriding pleasure.
“satoru,” he breathes out, his name falling straight within earshot. his hips never give up, but his request is asked based off raw emotions, “call me satoru—please,”
your mind is running miles a minute, the tightening of your gut on the brink of snapping and spraying your dam yet again all over him.
he whimpers with his nose pressed at your jugular, his grip on your thighs so tight your bound to have bruises form soon, and your back begins to ache from repeatedly being pushed up against an uncomfortable surface.
but fuck, you were so fucking close.
“hnng—satoru!” you cry as your orgasm washes over you, rakes through your body from head to toe, muscles spasming in his hold.
you leak like a faucet, and he follows suit, moaning your name all brokenly, whimpering and whining in your ear as he pumps your pussy full of his cum. for a split second you feel your bodies merge into one, the orgasm so intense you almost forgot just who and where this was happening.
eventually, you both ride down from your highs, and satoru places you down to your feet, though never pulling out of you. his dick is snug in your warm walls, and he’s tempted to stay like this for longer, until you decide to speak.
“c’mon big guy, pull out.” you tap at his chest gently, pulling him out of his daydream. “we have no idea when maintenance’ll show up.”
he blinks slowly, nodding as he acknowledges your words. it’s almost a damn miracle they hadn’t shown up while satoru was fucking you, but now that the lust had faded away, you almost felt ashamed of yourself.
“yeah just— gimme a second.” he breathes to himself, silently wishing he’d been able to bask in the aftercare with you a little longer. he guesses he should’ve known better than to expect such in an elevator of all places.
you remain quiet and he hates it. did you regret it already? is he back to square one with you?
you bite your lip, “goj— satoru.”
he perks his head up and you swear you see his ears wiggle as if he were a dog. his eyes shimmer with hope and you don’t think he’s ever looked this pretty before, “what’s up?”
“i’m gonna need my panties back, you know.” you nod your head towards his pocket where your lace undergarments were stuffed. “they were my favorite.”
“what a shame, guess you’ll have to grab it another day.” he sighs dramatically, feigning despair. giggling, you feel his fingers drum at your bare waist, “say, maybe friday night around 7pm at your place?”
“guess i have no other choice, do i?” you sigh just as dramatically, pulling him closer by the collar of his wrinkly white button down. he grins so widely your cheeks hurt for him, or maybe they hurt for yourself as you reflected his grin.
“i don’t make the rules baby.”
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this was definitely rushed but leave me alone 🖐🏾.
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astraltrickster · 11 months
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What frustrates me about disability advocacy is that...of all the people I've seen talk about it, 99% of them - even ones who are disabled themselves - have eventually proven that their support has limits. Really stupid and arbitrary ones, at that.
You support disabled people...but if you see an adult with a DIAPER BULGE in their pants in public it's ON SIGHT, get your kink out of my face! Actually, even if it's not a kink, that's still gross and, like, it's not like the diaper exists to CONTAIN waste, you're a biohazard! Just stay home!
You support disabled people...but, ugh, you're so sick of masks, they feel so icky, the CDC isn't advising them anymore so really how bad can it be, if you don't want to be permanently disabled even worse than you already are then why don't you just stay home forever?
You support disabled people...but if you see anyone using a non-conventional straw that someone's billed as "anti-aging" on TikTok you proudly declare that you'll smack them, because what do you mean it might be a motor control or sensory thing?
You support disabled people...but no one is REALLY so disabled that they can't manage their lights conventionally, clean their homes by themselves, or hold a pen for extended periods of time or at all; that's just something people make up as an excuse for Bad Tech and exploitative luxury services.
You support disabled people...but, god, control your by-definition-uncontrollable tics, they're SOOOO annoying and rude!
You support disabled people...but when someone stops masking or runs out of spoons and starts speaking in a choppy, hard-to-understand way, it's a joke.
You support disabled people...but AAC is, like, sooooo annoying and hard to understand, learn to talk like a normal person instead of pointing like a baby or whatever, geez.
You support disabled people...but you hate image descriptions and video transcriptions because they're, like, sooooo ugly and transcriptions SPOIL things. (Not to be confused with "frequently not having the spoons to translate images and videos into text, which is a skill; one which everyone should try to develop, but a skill nonetheless" - I get that, it happens to me, but if you take issue with OTHER people adding them to your posts for Aesthetic Reasons, you're...kind of a dick! I'm not sorry for saying it!)
You support disabled people...but you think teehee funny joke annotations are a much more valuable use of caption tracks than, you know, actual captions are.
You support disabled people...but you still concern-troll people with armchair diagnoses of heavily stigmatized disorders for harmless weirdness, or try to paint them as icons of some kind of horrible social ill.
You support disabled people...but you're still convinced that every asshole is mentally ill, probably A Narcissist, and what do you mean that's a loaded thing to call someone when a heavily stigmatized disorder is rudely misnamed as such too, isn't it easier to, like, change the name of the disorder throughout the whole system than it is to just stop using that word as your go-to Bad Person Pathologizing Word, which you definitely need? (Or worse, you see no problem with this clash because you're convinced it IS Bad Person Disorder...)
You support disabled people...but you see someone mumbling to themself on the bus and you get as far away from them as possible because it's "scary".
You support disabled people...but you constantly try to pull "gotcha"s about people telling you not to touch people's assistive devices.
You support disabled people...but someone being okay with their delusional disorder and talking about that is BAD and PROMOTING SELF-HARM.
You support disabled people...but your body positivity still focuses exclusively on "people can be healthy and fat at the same time!" as if people who ARE fat because of health issues and/or have health issues BECAUSE of their weight don't exist or deserve support.
You support disabled people...but you declare that advocates who want us all to have more access to things that improve your quality of life are the REAL ableists for acknowledging that those things that you currently can't do tend to improve quality of life.
You support disabled people...but your advocacy for yourself involves distancing yourself from people with more support needs than you.
You support disabled people...but you treat addiction of any kind, or use of anything with known addictive tendencies, as a moral failing.
You support disabled people...until the accommodations they need clash with your own, then it's not just a benign incompatibility that sucks just as much for them as it does for you; no, you are an innocent victim and they are a horrible ableist.
You support disabled people...until it's too inconvenient. Too weird. Too scary. Once that line is crossed, it's not a disability issue anymore, they're, conveniently, just a Bad Person.
It's fucking exhausting and I'm sick to death of it.
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explicit-tae · 5 months
Text
One Way Or Another (2/2)
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After nearly 3 years, your therapist encourages you to let the past be the past - "what can go wrong after all these years?" she says. @silversparkles11 @seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @darkuni63 @mak7sstuff @namjinsworld @laylasbunbunny @roseki @castlewolfsbane @babycandy111 @minshookie29 @btsw1fe @kyglover @trevsinz @roseki
Part 1
i'm so sorry this took a whole year :')
Word Count: 7.295
Warning: dark themes, smut, yandere, manipulation, stalking, obsessive behavior, mentions of dark sexual desire, noncon/dubcon, creep jungkook, kidnapping, acts of violence, narcissistic behavior, unsolicited grinding/groping, unprotected sex, creampie,
“Hyung,” Jungkook sighs over the phone, his voice cracking. “she’s so beautiful…”
Namjoon sighs over the other line. “Where are you?”
Jungkook’s legs begin to bounce, the child lying against him. “With my daughter.” was not the response Namjoon is expecting. He’s silent, unsure if his ears heard what Jungkook actually said. “Excuse me?”
“Y/N never told me…” Jungkook’s voice cracks once more. “...Why would she leave me, hyung? Leave with my daughter?”
Namjoon can hear the rage in Jungkook’s voice, getting higher as he speaks. “Calm down, Kook.” Namjoon begins. “Are you with Y/N now?”
Jungkook scoffs. “No. She left my daughter with a babysitter.”
Namjoon sighs in relief. “Alright.” he begins. “What are you planning on doing?”
Jungkook presses a kiss against the child’s head, holding her in an embrace that he doesn’t want to release her from. His heart is full, even when he knows it would just be broken by you once more.
For years he had tried to search for you to come up with nothing - all until a few months prior. He had to thank Namjoon for it, his hyung having a lead that led him to you.
 You looked so different, yet still so beautiful. It causes a smile to form on Jungkook’s lips watching you - he wants to come to you. He wants to reach out and hug you and declare how much he missed you.
But Jungkook didn’t - you weren’t ready. So what he chose to do was continue to watch - and when his eyes caught on you and the small child, he nearly cried; both in rage and in joy. Joy because this was his first child that resembled him more than not. Rage because you had left him with his child, refusing to come back home where you belonged. 
Now here Jungkook was holding his child, the small girl welcoming him with open arms. She’s sweet, willingly allowing him to hold her close and kiss her head once she heard that he was her dad - even at her young age. 
Jungkook’s attention peaks when he hears the water to the shower turn off. He sighs, annoyance running through him. He sets his daughter down, upset that his time with her was so little, but the babysitter - one who was not worthy to be around his child - was moments away from returning. 
“My beautiful daughter.” Jungkook presses another kiss to her head, sighing into it. “Appa will be back, okay?” he says, smiling down at her. 
“O-kay.” the soft voice hits Jungkook’s ears and it takes everything in him to leave her there. 
“Obviously I need to get my family back, hyung.” Jungkook responds, dipping out the front door just as he hears the door to the bathroom open. 
“I agree.” Namjoon says. “Don’t do anything too rash, Kook.”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, but when it comes to having you and his daughter in his life, nothing was “too” rash.  He had to start with whoever this Stefan person was in your life.
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“You like this guy, right? Your co-worker?” your therapist questions. 
Your head lays in your hands as you nod it, leaning back against the decorative chair - the same one you’ve sat in once a week for years now.
“It’s been a year since you opened up about your past.” she notes. “What you’ve been through with that man is terrible, Y/N.”
That man - your therapist never says Jungkook’s name. She refuses after you told her the entire truth of what you’ve endured by him.
“That does not mean love is out of the picture.” she leans forward with a soft smile on her lips. “You’ve spoken fondly of your co-worker. Do you like him?”
Your mind thinks of Stefan. You met him when you first moved and started a new job - and life away from what you were accustomed to. It was a stressful move that had you constantly looking over your shoulder, terrified that Jungkook would be there.
Stefan, however, appeared to be a breath of fresh air. He was charming in his own way, someone that could make you laugh when you needed it. He was persistent, but never pushy.
But even if Stefan was everything you thought you needed, you weren’t sure you could ever pursue him. You were left traumatized after Jungkook - the constant calls and messages to your phones; oftentime threatening. The amount of times he was able to find you when you thought you’d lost him - only when you filed for a temporary restraining order did it stop. But temporary was the keyword, nothing was ever permanent. Jungkook was a charming man to the public, flashing a smile and batting his eyelashes and everything he’s done could be washed away. 
The first chance you took to move away, you did, not caring if the restraining order would be voided. Jungkook would know where you’d be - he’ll have to know where he couldn’t go.
Even now, years later, you could hear the harsh, threatening words from Jungkook. “I hate that you choose them over me.” Jungkook said about Lina and any type of friendship you had. “You’re leaving me because I care about your well-being?” when you attempted to end it with him, and the cherry on top being, “You look at me as if I would ever hurt you. I could kill you then myself…but I’ve never thought about doing that once.” and somehow, you weren’t convinced.
“Y/N?”
You blink a few times to come back to reality. “Sorry.”
“No need to apologize to me.” your therapist shakes her head. “You do that often. You get in your head and it’s hard to get out of it.”
You smile weakly at her. Your eyes turn towards the clock on her desk facing you. “Looks like time is up.” you murmur.
“Ah, I suppose so.” your therapist eye’s you as you rise from your seated position and gather your belongings. “Y/N.”
“Yes?” you say to her with knitted brows. 
“Happy Birthday to your daughter. She turns 3 today, correct?”
You smile, nodding your head. “Yes. Ava is turning 3.” you say. “I actually have to go pick her up.”
Your therapist nods. “I know she’ll have an amazing birthday.”
You tried your best to give your daughter everything she needed. It’s not easy - nothing in your life ever was, especially now. 
Finding out you were pregnant in the midst of getting away from Jungkook was not something you wanted to deal with - yet and still, an abortion is not something you wanted to go through. Your pregnancy was a rough one  - you’ve grown depressed and rotted yourself in self-pity. You couldn’t fully connect with your daughter until the end of your pregnancy when reality was settling in that you were going to be a mother. 
As you held your daughter in your arms the day she was born, your heart swells with love, even if she appeared similar to the man you didn’t wish to see. You wanted her to be nothing but safe and feel all the love from you that she couldn’t feel from another parent. 
“Think about it, Y/N.” your therapist speaks as she walks you towards her office door. “You deserve happiness, as well. What can go wrong after all these years?” she says. 
A shudder runs up your spine for the first time in years at her words, unsure truly as to why.
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“You’re so messy.” you laugh at your daughter, going to wipe her face from the pasta sauce that is smeared on her cheeks. 
You and Ava are seated in the small restaurant, an intimate moment between the two of you. She was older now, and you always wanted to give her the birthday she deserves. However, you aren’t making the amount of money you once were - working at Sapphire's after dark made you more money in one night than you do now with a paycheck. You could only ever afford to take her somewhere to eat and a small cake.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.Sometimes as parents, we blame ourselves for not being able to give our children the world.” your therapist has said a week prior. You had cried how you wanted to give your daughter more, but couldn’t afford to. “But children don’t want the world, they want their parent’s love and support.”
It’s advice you often have to repeat so you wouldn’t put yourself down. 
“Wanna eat your cake?” you sniffle, blinking a few times to regain focus.
“Yes.” your daughter nods meekly, her voice so soft that it causes you to coo.
The cake is small and round. It’s chocolate, her favorite, and you are quick to cut her a piece. You aren’t hungry and would often watch her eat, satisfied with her being fed. 
“What’s wrong?” you ask her, noticing how her eyes would flicker from her cake up towards you. “Do you not like the cake?”
Ava shakes her head. “Where’s appa?”
You’re positive that your face pales, possibly looking as if you saw a ghost.
“W-What do you mean, baby?” you stutter. Ava has never asked for her father - or any father at that. This is the first time you’re hearing this and your heart is pumping with nerves. 
“Where is appa?” Ava asks again, this time a little higher. “Appa said he will be back.”
Your heart begins to beat loudly outside your chest. Your throat tightens, unable to respond to your daughter. Your mind is racing at her words - again, Ava never speaks like this. 
What does she mean he said he’ll be back?
“Come on, baby.” you gather the cake in your hands to save it for later. You’re trembling and it angers you. You don’t want your daughter to see you like this. “We have to go home.”
“I wanna see Appa.” Ava’s voice is growing softer and you’re certain she was going to cry. You shake your head, eyes bouncing around the restaurant. The familiar feeling was coming back - the feeling of being stared at. You haven’t felt this way in over a year. 
“Ava, baby. We have to go.” you don’t allow your daughter to continue with her tantrum. You place money down on the table, gather your daughter and the cake and journey out of the restaurant. 
“Y/N?” the sound of Yuri’s voice sounds through your phone. “Is everything alright?”
“I-I…can you watch Ava?” you murmur. “I’m sorry this is so last minute. I-I know I just picked her up but-”
“Y/N, calm down.” Yuri quips. “Are you alright? You sound so scared.”
You weren’t alright, but you couldn’t tell Yuri - or anyone - anything. You look down at Ava walking besides you, her small hand in yours. Her eyes are up at you, a slight sad look on her face. 
“Y/N…” Yuri trails off at your silence. “...I can watch Ava no problem.”
“Thank you, Yuri. I’m sorry-”
“Don’t apologize.” Yuri interrupts you. “You know I love Ava.”
Yuri was someone you were grateful for. You were grateful for your therapist for helping you find Yuri - she was her niece, after all. She was young and attending college. She lived in an apartment fully paid by her parents as long as she attended college. She was a sweet girl and Ava loved her just as much as she loved Ava.
It took ten minutes for you to be at Yuri’s door, her already meeting you. She slightly pats Ava’s head as you arrive. 
“Here’s her cake, I, um…she didn’t really get a chance to eat it.” your heart drops. Yuri notices that you’re trembling still as she takes the cake. “Thank you so much, Yuri.”
“Y/N, please. Are you safe?” Yuri drops her tone to assure Ava isn’t listening. The television is on in the livingroom and she’s already seated in front of it. 
“Yes.” you nod, even if you’re unsure yourself. “I just…have to go talk to your aunt and-”
“You don’t need to explain yourself.” Yuri shakes her head. She doesn’t know your backstory, and she understands that her aunt being your therapist that it isn’t something she could ask. But the terrified look in your eyes is what worries her. 
You nod. “Thank you.” you were grateful for Yuri, truly.
Within 20 minutes, you were back at your therapist's office. You were speaking nonstop, going through countless scenarios of what Ava could be speaking of about her father - stating that he would be coming back. 
“Sometimes children have imaginary friends. Especially at her age.” your therapist stands to calm you. “She probably made up her own father figure to make up for the lack of it.”
“But,” you shake your head. “I don’t think-”
“Y/N. It’s been years.” 
You inhale, counting in your head. You exhale.
“Ava is fine. You are fine.” your therapist assures. “Ava is growing older. She will soon ask about where her father is as she enters school. She will see her peers have something that she does not.”
Your head falls into your hands at her words. 
You didn’t want this for Ava - you wanted to be everything she needed. You wished she had a father figure, but if Jungkook was that, you’d rather do everything alone. 
“That doesn’t mean you aren’t an amazing mother. You are. You can’t blame yourself for this.”
“She asked about him.” you say meekly. “She said that he was coming back as if…she saw him. Can children imagine so vividly?”
Your therapist nods. “The imagination of a child is unmatched. I suggest you sit down and speak with her. She may be 3, but she’s a growing child.”
As you were about to respond, your phone sounds with a notification. It’s Stefan, you note, his name dashing through your screen. 
“Respond to it.” your therapist nods. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“He can be a psycho.” you murmur, but even you didn’t believe that. Stefan didn’t share any red flags with you and acted like a complete sweetheart.
But again, so did Jungkook in the beginning. 
“Don’t allow yourself to not feel love because of your past, Y/N.” your therapist gives you a small smile.
“He…wants to meet up.” you sigh. “I can’t it’s Ava’s birthday and-”
“Does he know about Ava?”
You nod.
“Do you not want to bring him around Ava yet?”
Slowly, you shrug your shoulders. You didn’t want Ava to get the wrong idea, especially now that she was growing older and wanting a father figure. Yet, you didn’t want to hide the fact that you had a daughter from Stefan.
“I can see you aren’t comfortable just yet with the idea of dating.” she says. “That doesn’t mean you and him can’t be friends, right? Hang around one another with Ava. See how he interacts with her. If he’s good with Ava, then it’s a step forward, no?”
You nod. “I suppose you’re right…”
You begin to text Stephan back, eyes glancing at your therapist for comfort. 
“I said we can um, meet at a cafe.” you murmur, a hot feeling growing throughout you. You haven’t felt this way in years - since Jungkook. 
“That’s good.” she smiles widely at you. “It’s good, right?”
“Yeah…I guess it is good.” you take a deep breath. “I’m sorry for coming back here so suddenly.”
“Please don’t apologize, Y/N.” your therapist assures. “You’re a mother and were worried for your child. Trust me, Ava and you are safe. You aren’t terrible for feeling the way you do after all you’ve been through.”
Hearing her words is encouraging. You just want Ava to be safe in the end - it’s your main goal. You loved Ava with all your heart, wanting to give her the life she deserves. She deserves a mother who wasn’t always looking over her shoulder afraid of a man who’s probably given up on her. 
“Thank you.” you mumble, clenching your phone in your hand.
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“Appa!” 
Yuri watches as Ava runs into the man’s arm. He picks her up and holds her close. “Hey, baby.” he says softly to the little girl. “Happy birthday! Look what Appa got you.”
Jungkook is holding a small, pink bag in his hands.
“You said you’re Y/N’s-”
“Ex.” Jungkook nods his head, not liking the word a bit. “Ava’s father.”
Yuri has an uneasy feeling in her stomach as Jungkook speaks. “She told me to watch Ava-”
“I know. But I think I should be the one taking her now.” Jungkook smiles at the younger girl. “Y/N had a bit of a scare earlier.” Jungkook chuckles. “She told me to come get her.”
Yuri furrows her brows. “Really? She didn’t text-”
“Again. She’s going through something right now.” Jungkook interrupts, holding onto Ava tightly. He didn’t want to harm Yuri - not while he had his daughter. But if she was going to stick her nose in business that didn’t involve her, then he wouldn’t have a choice to. 
“I guess you’re right…” Yuri trails off, recalling the way you appeared seconds away from crying. Her eyes turn to Ava - the girl finally looked happy since you left. Everything she has tried to do to get the girl to cheer up has failed. “...Happy Birthday, Ava.”
Jungkook smiles, turning to his daughter. Yuri was smart, afterall. “Thank you for taking care of her.” he says sincerely then bows to bid his farewell. 
Jungkook strolls out of the apartment complex and towards his car. He opens the back seat and places Yuri inside of it, having already bought a car seat for her to sit in. He straps her in and couldn’t help but place another kiss on her forehead. “Here, baby. Happy birthday.” he says to her, handing her the pink bag with the gift inside.
Jungkook gets inside the driver seat and starts the car. Jungkook begins to drive, his eyes flickering to the rearview mirror to assure his daughter was okay. “Are you happy you and Appa are going for a ride?”
Ara nods, her smile has yet to falter. Inside the pink bag had been a stuffed animal - the biggest she’s ever gotten - of a bunny. She holds it close to her that Jungkook just knows that when you finally came home, he would make it his mission to buy his daughter a mountain of them. 
“Appa?”
Jungkook’s hand clenches the steering wheel. He’s upset with you. Hearing his daughter call for him has a rush of emotions flowing through him - and he blames you for keeping this moment from him. How would you raise a child without a father in the home? “Yes, baby?”
“Where’s e-eomma?”
“Eomma is meeting us at home.” Jungkook says with a slight smile. He couldn’t wait to be reunited with you. “But Appa has to make a stop.”
“Stop where?”
Toddlers and their questions, Jungkook thinks. “To the lake.” he answers. 
Ava is satisfied with the response for now, and Jungkook continues to drive. 
Finding whoever Stefan was had been easy. He’s upset to know that the name has come up far too many times for his liking, and the months he has been following you, he’s grown to realize that the man was your co-worker - someone you had to see often. 
It didn’t take a genius to know that Stefan liked you more than he should, and that would cost him his life. Surely, it would be easier to just take you, his daughter and leave - yet that wouldn’t satisfy him. Knowing that you took his daughter from him - and took away the experience of him holding his child the day she was born - he had to find a way to punish you. “You’re too nice to her.” he recalls Namjoon saying one day. “She’ll never respect you as you are.” and his hyung was correct. Now three years later here we were - all because you wanted to be selfish.
“Going swimming?” Ava’s voice sounds through his ears as Jungkook parks the car. The sun is minutes from setting, the dark hue in the sky. The clouds are forming, as well, and he’s positive that the moon will be shining bright tonight. 
“Not us, no.” Jungkook removes his seatbelt. 
“I come?” Ava asks as she witnesses Jungkook get out of the car. 
“Of course.” Jungkook coos, opening the door to the back and removing Ava from her carseat. The bunny is held tightly in her embrace as she places her head on Jungkook's shoulders.
Jungkook goes around to the trunk and opens it. “Looks like Stefan’s awake, baby.” Jungkook cackles, his eyes darkening at the sight of the tied up man. “He was taking a little nap in the trunk.”
“Why?” Ava’s soft voice asks over the muffled screams of Stefan. He has tape around his mouth and rope around his wrist and ankles. Ava doesn’t appear to be frightened as a normal child would - but then again, she’s with her father. Jungkook would never allow any harm to come towards her. 
“Must’ve been sleepy.” Jungkook shrugs. “Appa’s going to put you down, okay?”
“Oh-kay.”
Jungkook places Ava down, patting her head slightly. He then proceeds to yank Stefan out of the trunk, the man falling with a thump, along with a pocket knife that he attempted to use against Jungkook.
Jungkook goes to grab the pocket knife out of Ava’s reach, the little girl already attempting to reach for it. He places it inside his pocket and turns back to Stefan. “Let’s go.” he states, but it isn’t like the man can move. Instead, he is dragged from the muddy scenery towards the lake.
Stefan’s muffled screams get a bit louder, but not loud enough. He’s squirming against his restraints, so much so that it begins to annoy Jungkook. “Stop resisting!” he hisses, his boot kicking Stefan in the ribs. “To think you had a chance with my girl is insane.”
The wooden dock is long and narrow. It creeks underneath Jungkook’s feet as he walks all the way to the end of it. 
“To think all Y/N had to do was not leave me.” Jungkook looks down at Stefan, the terrified look in his eyes comical. “Maybe then you would’ve lived to see tomorrow.”
Jungkook kicks Stefan into the lake. His body makes a splash, water wetting his boots. Jungkook turns away and makes his way back to Ava. “Such a good girl!” he cheers, scooping her into his arms. “Ready to see eomma?”
Ava nods, rubbing her eyes slightly. 
"You must be tired. Let’s go home, baby.”
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Your eyes stare down at the text-message in horror, your body completely stiff.
Yuri: Hey, Y/N. Just to let you know, Ava went home with her father. She looked so excited to see him. I hope you’re feeling better than before. Please try to get some rest.
Your world feels as if something crashed through you. Your throat was tightening up and tears were swelling in your eyes. Your hands trembled, nearling dropping your phone several times. 
Ava’s father.
Ava’s father.
Ava didn’t have a father - not someone you agreed upon. She didn’t have someone you co-parent with.
Ava’s father.
That meant the feeling from before was true - the feeling of being stared at.
Jungkook was back.
Jungkook had found you.
Jungkook knows about Ava - he has Ava.
Your hands tremble as you go through a message thread you hadn’t opened in years - even after multiple number changes.
You swallow the thick lump in your throat as you press call, bringing it to your ear.
It only rings once.
“About time you called.”
Hearing Jungkook’s voice after all these years causes the hair on your body to rise. It brings back memories you want to suppress.
“Is Ava okay?”
“What type of question is that?” Jungkook hisses. He’s driving, you note, you can hear cars in the background. “I would never hurt our daughter.”
Our daughter. 
Your blood runs cold. 
“Please, Jungkook.” your voice cracks as you begin to cry, no longer caring. You just wanted Ava safe, and as of right now, she wasn’t. Not with Jungkook - anyone but him. 
“Aww, don’t cry, my love.” Jungkook’s taunting you. “I’ll see you at home.”
The line goes out before you can speak. 
Your home wasn’t far, only a few blocks away. But you’re sprinting there, pushing past anyone in your way. Your chest is heaving and your appearance was anything but presentable. 
There’s a car outside your home that you don’t recognize. It sits right outside of it - a sign that Jungkook was here.
“Ava’s asleep.” Jungkook says as you barge into the home. He’s seated in your livingroom, Ava in his arms. She’s asleep, clutching a stuffed animal you haven’t seen before. “Why are you looking at her like that? I said I’d never hurt her.”
You swallow. “I-I know.” you murmur. You don’t want to upset Jungkook. You’re positive that he’s already pissed having found not only you, but his child. “C-Can I…um…let’s put her to bed.”
Jungkook watches you for a moment, but nods. He follows you down the hall and towards a small room. A few toys are sprawled out on the floor. He places her in her bed and lifts the covers. “My pretty baby…” he murmurs, kissing her cheek. “So beautiful.”
The sight would warm your heart if it wasn’t Jungkook.
“I usually turn this on.” you murmur towards her desk. It’s a small humidifier that you flick on. It makes a noise as it works, a white noise that keeps Ava sleep during some nights.
“Come.” Jungkook turns away from you. “We need to talk.”
The door to Ava’s bedroom closes behind you. You usually don’t close her door at all - she didn’t prefer to be left in the dark. However, you wanted her far from you and Jungkook’s conversation.
Jungkook walks in your home as if he’s familiar with it, opening the door to your bedroom and flickering on the light. You no longer fight with your mind, contemplating if you were delusional or not.
Jungkook had been watching you - you’re sure of it. How long, you’re unsure. But you’re positive that he has. Ava is a sweet girl and far too trusting for your own liking, but you didn’t want to corrupt her mind when it came to meeting new people - and now you blame yourself. She had asked for her father because Jungkook had made himself present to her before…
Your heart aches at the revelation that you weren’t safe, and haven’t been for years.
“I thought about what I’d do when I saw you.” Jungkook begins just as you close the door to your bedroom. “When you first left, I’d admit I was angry.”
Jungkook looks nearly the same as he did 3 years prior - he added a few piercings and you’re positive he added more tattoos underneath his clothing. His eyes are the same, piercing right through you like they had many times before. 
“I never thought about hurting you more than I did the moment I found you.” The silence after Jungkook’s words is loud and deafening. You contemplated if you’d be able to get out the room and run down the hall to Ava’s for an escape, but you know he wouldn’t allow it. 
“You took my daughter away from me, Y/N. What have I done to you to deserve that?” Jungkook’s voice raises just a bit and you flinch when he steps closer to you. “You hate me that much? Was I not the one funding your lifestyle?”
“I didn’t ask you to.” you retort quietly - regretting it just as quickly as you said it. 
Jungkook scoffs. “I didn’t have to?” he says. “You were my girl. I gave you everything you wanted and more. Then you send a restraining order and leave with my-”
“I didn’t know I was pregnant!” you hiss. But even that wouldn’t have made you return to Jungkook.
“Your excuses aren’t good enough for me, Y/N.”
You yelp when Jungkook lunges at you. He flings you around, hands digging into your skin. You and he stumble a bit until he shoves you away. Your face is planted into your mattress, him pressed firmly against you.
Jungkook presses his nose into your hair and inhales deeply. He shudders. “You still smell the same.” he murmurs, his hips rocking against you.
You’re frightened to your core, unsure what in the world you’re supposed to say or do in this situation. You couldn’t think of just yourself anymore - Ava was just in the other room. You couldn’t trust Jungkook completely to not harm her if it meant hurting you.
“Why don’t you love me?”
Jungkook’s mood changes quickly, he leans back to yank your hair. You fight back a scream at how hard he tugs. You’re pressed firmly against his back, his nose against the nape of your neck.
“No answer…?” Jungkook hums against your neck. His hands let go of your hair, trailing to your shoulders. “...Did you love Stefan?”
You gulp, your breathing so loud that it echoes off of your walls. 
How did he know about Stefan?
Your heart thumps with anticipation for Jungkook to continue. 
“I hope you didn’t. He’s dead.”
Jungkook’s right hand grips your neck, a yelp releasing from your throat. You struggle to get away from his grasp, but Jungkook wasn’t going to allow it. He wasn’t going to allow you to leave him again - especially not with his daughter. 
“I’m tired of being nice to you, Y/N. You don’t like me being nice.” Jungkook squeezes your neck a bit harder, you grunts only fueling the erection in his pants. “I had to kill a man to make sure you know that I’m serious. Here,”
Jungkook is quick to remove his phone from his pocket and go through his photos. Your eyes widen at the picture of Stefan, bound and gagged in what appeared to be the trunk of a car.
Your stomach feels sick and you snap your head away to get the image out of your head. You can feel the tears lining your eyes.
“You killed him, Y/N. I wouldn’t have done anything if you didn’t leave with my daughter.” Jungkook pushes you away from him, releasing your neck. You fall against the mattress roughly, but you don’t have the strength in you to fight anymore.
“Why are you crying?” Jungkook snickers. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You want me to treat you like this, so I am.”
You’re flipped over once more, your back hitting your mattress. Your tears blur your vision of Jungkook, and it pains him to see how terrified you were of him - but this is what you wanted. You didn’t want the nice, protective boyfriend he was trying to be.
“I gave you everything, Y/N. And you left me.” Jungkook’s tugging at your shirt so roughly that you aren’t surprised it rips. Your room is cold, colder than it’s ever been. “You forced me to find you here with my daughter. You’re struggling, barely able to afford anything. The cherry on top was you agreeing to meet that man…” Jungkook shakes his head, rage bubbling up through him again. “You were going to have that man around my daughter, Y/N. How selfish can you be?”
Your bra comes off next, and Jungkook takes a deep breath. How he missed you beneath him, your sweet moans dancing in his ears. His hands grip your breast entirely, his thumbs rubbing along your erect nipples.
“I think you like the way I’m touching you now.” Jungkook murmurs. “Is this what it was, Y/N? You wanted me to be a little rough?”
You shake your head, sobs spilling out of your lips.
“Then what was it? Why did you leave me?” Jungkook’s thumb continues to rub circles on your nipples. “You took away our daughter. I didn’t have the chance to see her first steps because you want to be selfish.”
Jungkook pinches and pulls at your nipples, but you only liked that. Jungkook knows your body - even after all these years.
Jungkook’s hard, you note. You can feel it twitching against your clothed heat. Your eyes blink away the tears, throat so tight that you’re unsure if you could truly speak. “Are…are you going to hurt me?”
Jungkook tilts his head, eyes looking at your weeping figure. So fragile - so hopeless. 
Jungkook has witnessed your walls begin to crumble down. Any resistance you had was tumbling right before him. You weren’t going to fight him anymore - the sooner you realized that it was pointless, the sooner he could treat you how he wants to and not how he has to.
“I want to.” Jungkook admits. “I want to hurt you and show you how bad you’ve hurt me all these years. But I love you.”
You want to laugh - because this couldn't be love. This isn’t what you want Ava to grow up and endure.
“I love you so much, Y/N, that I can’t bear hurting you. But if I have to live with hating myself, I will.”
Jungkook’s right hand dips down slowly, as if taunting you to react. It goes beneath your pants to touch between your legs.
“If I have to hurt you to make sure you never leave me again…” Jungkook’s finger twirls around your clit, satisfied with how wet it was for him. “...I will, Y/N.”
You’re stiff, even when Jungkook removes his fingers and plop them inside his mouth. His eyes flutter, a deep groan coming from his throat. “How I missed the way you taste, my love.”
Your heart races - as does your mind. 
You’re powerless.
Jungkook was not going to let you go - not without hurting you. You didn’t know how far hurting you went, but you didn’t want to find out.
You begin to cry harder, your chest rising and falling rapidly. 
“Please don’t h-hurt Ava.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened. “I’ll never hurt her!” he hisses. “Stop crying, Y/N. I want to give our daughter the life she deserves. With a mother and father.” he coos, going to wipe your falling tears. “Ava deserves to be in the best schools money can offer. I can offer. Would you really deny her an amazing life just because you want to be selfish?”
Jungkook’s words sting.
You wanted Ava to have an amazing life - she was your main priority. You couldn’t afford the best schools or luxuries like Jungkook could, and the thought has your heart breaking.
“Doesn’t Ava deserve to have two parents who love her?” Jungkook asks. “Or would you rather her grow up thinking her father left her? Are you going to tell her you didn’t allow me to father her? That you took the first man that’s going to love her away?”
Jungkook knew what to say to hurt you - to get you to submit to him fully. He was going to use Ava to his advantage - if that is what it took to have you and her back in his life. He didn’t want to hold you hostage. He wanted you to come to him willingly and be the family he knows you and he could be; for his daughter.
“What do you want, Y/N?” Jungkook’s face is so close to yours that his breath tickles your skin. “Don’t you want us to be a family? For Ava’s sake?”
You swallow.
You wanted Ava safe. You wanted her to have a good life - the life any child deserves. 
Your mind is screaming at you to fight Jungkook off - to take Ava and leave.
But where would you go? You couldn’t stay here and you could only run so far until Jungkook found you. You were tired of living your life in fear - constantly looking over your shoulder for Jungkook to come and take you away.
So, you had to make your own decision. You had to choose Ava over you.
Jungkook is surprised when he feels your lips on his so suddenly, but he doesn’t dwell. He melts into your lips, arms wrapping firmly around you.
“My good girl…” Jungkook murmurs against your lips. “...I knew you’d choose the right choice.”
You want to laugh - you didn’t have a choice. It was either go with Jungkook willingly or against your will.
Your legs wrap around Jungkook and he allows you to flip him. Jungkook watches you with wide eyes. 
You had to do this, you think. You had to do this for your safety and for the AVa’s future. Maybe if you didn’t give in to Stockholm Syndrome, then maybe when Ava’s away at college you’d be able to escape.
You want to laugh at your unfortunate circumstance.
“Do you promise Ava will be okay?”
Jungkook’s eyes soften at your tone. He nods his head. “You have my word. You and Ava will be okay.”
You weren’t convinced about yourself, but as long as Ava was, then you wouldn’t care about the life you live alongside him.
“Okay.” you murmur. “The humidifier sometimes keeps her asleep. Not all the time.”
Jungkook nods his head. 
“Sometimes she’ll wake up because she wants to sleep with me.” you swallow. “We have about another half an hour before she might.”
Jungkook’s ear perks, and he nods rapidly.
You lift yourself from him, going to kick off your pants and underwear. You haven’t been with Jungkook (or any many) in so long, that you feel betrayed by yourself for being wet.
Jungkook wants to take his time with you - to run his tongue all over your body like he used to. To pleasure you until you’re cumming against his tongue.
But, there wasn’t any time now. And that was okay - because you are his now. Forever. What he couldn’t do now, he’d do next time.
Jungkook kicks off his own pants and underwear, revealing how excited he was to have you once more.
You swallow, getting onto your bed. You don’t want to face Jungkook - not now at least, pressing your face against the mattress and arching your back.
“It’ll get better, my love.” Jungkook murmurs, pressing himself again you. His lips are against your shoulder, peppering you with soft kisses. “If you’ll allow me to love you the way I want to, it’ll be good.”
You nod your head sullenly.
You’re wetter than Jungkook expects. He rubs his tip against your clit and between your folds to lube himself up. He gulps as he inches closer to your entrance. “So tight…” he says to himself, inching himself closer and closer until he’s in fully. “...all for me.”
Your hands grip your bedsheets, the feeling of a cock in you becoming foreign with time. 
Jungkook begins to thrust, slow at first until your wetness completely engulfs him. Then, he picks up the pace. Hands gripping your waist to completely hold you into place, his eyes stuck on the way your pussy takes him so good - just how he remembers it. 
You’re sure your clenching around him only fuels Jungkook to go harder, but your body is working against you. You don’t want it to feel good - you hated Jungkook. You hated the way he forced himself back into your life and gave you an ultimatum. He was a monster, admitting to killing an innocent man just because you left him.
But your body loved Jungkook - always had. His cock pumps inside of you with such need, never getting tired. You can feel your juices pooling out of you and onto your thighs, and even your moans are becoming hard to be suppressed.
You hated Jeon Jungkook with a passion; this is the man that got you fired from your job and turned your life upside down. The same man that admitting to wanting to hurt you for the pain that ‘you’ caused him.
But you loved the way Jeon Jungkook fucks with with such passion; such love. His right hand presses itself against your clit, rubbing with need. His lips are pressed loving kisses against your back.
Your pussy sucks him in with each thrust, never wanting to be let go. Your legs widen to have even more of him, and Jungkook gives you exactly what you’re asking for. The pleasure is so good that you no longer hide your moans as they’re growing higher and higher by the second. 
“I’ve missed you so much.” Jungkook grunts, his grinding never stopping. He was so deep, hitting places that hadn't been touched in years. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I promise to be better…I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Don’t believe him, your brain tells you. Jungkook’s lying. He wasn’t sorry in the slightest - he would hurt you again and again if you didn't bend to his every will.
But your heart crumbles at Jungkook’s words. You once loved Jeon Jungkook, and maybe there’s somewhere in you that always will. Everytime you looked at Ava, you saw her father. Those doe eyes looking up at you each day are the ones belonging to the monster that was Jungkook. 
Your heart thumps at Jungkook’s words because you want to believe them - believe that he would never hurt you or cause you such pain; but your brain doesn’t want you to lead with your heart.
“I love you, baby. You know that.” Jungkook grunts, his thrusts becoming sloppy. If he could fuck you like this for hours, he would. Years he’s been without you could that a half an hour could not satiate him. 
Jungkook lifts you from the bed. He presses you against him, continuing to pound into you. His left hand forces your head to turn to look at him. “I love you, Y/N. Everything I did has been for you.” 
“I…I know…” you moan.
You were weak - and soon you’d regret your actions and not fighting back against Jungkook.
But you missed Jungkook - you missed the kind Jungkook. The soft Jungkook who held you at night and would listen to you talk about any and everything for hours. 
Maybe that Jungkook could come back, you think. As long as you didn’t do anything to upset him and accept the fate that was bestowed upon you.
“Say you love me back, baby.” Jungkook pleads. He needs to hear it - he hasn’t in so long.
Jungkook’s right hand continues to rub aggressively on your clit, his mouth on yours. His tongue suckles on yours for dominance - dominance he already had against you. 
“What’s the worst that can happen after all these years?” your therapist's voice rings through your mind.
The ironic - a part of you feel like the universe is playing a game on you.
“I love you, too.” you say against Jungkook’s tongue, feeling your high reaching. You’re so wet that you can hear the disgusting squelching sounds of your pussy, completely satisfied that it’s getting stuffed.
“Fuck,” Jungkook grumbles, pumping into even harder. “fuck, fuck, I love you, too baby. So much.”
Jungkook lets you go to fall back onto your mattress, a twitching mess as your high was riding down. He pounds into you a few more times, the sound of skin slapping and pants echoing off the walls until he cums inside of you, completely painting your walls with his seed.
Jungkook doesn’t remove himself until he’s soft, having no more cum left to give you. He kisses your back softly, wrapping his arms around your limp body. “I’m so happy you’re coming back to me, baby. Now we can be a family. You, me and Ava.”
“What’s the worst that can happen after all these years?”
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Text
Manipulative
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pairing: coriolanus snow x f!reader, past oc x f!reader.
summary: he’s fallen way too deep, and he knows that.
a/n: i am in no way romanticizing nor defending his actions, he sucks as a person, this is for funsies, keep that in mind. remember he’s literally responsible for mass murders of children. also this idea is cliche ik ik. but, if you want more I will do more with original ideas.
reader has somewhat long hair, BUT no other descriptions of the reader. and I don’t usually do that. just for this post:)
warnings: yandere themes, toxicity, manipulative behavior(manipulation) obsession, possessiveness, no fluff, implied/referenced murder, slight blood, narcissistic tendencies, delusion, unhealed trauma, implied stalking, mild violence.
The meadow was where you’d often go. Ever since the games, it was a stress reliever, humming some songs or even just listening to the birds chirp.
After Coriolanus was sent to be a peacekeeper, You were sent home. District 12 was your home. You sat down on the cold rock. You were more of an creative artist than musician. Sometimes you wrote songs, and sometimes you wrote poems or just stories.
But you didn’t feel like doing anything today, just admiring the breeze in front of you. You were fairly zoned out when you hear a twig snap, and turn around.
You sigh of relief.”Sorry. Still have those instincts from the games.” You rushed over, not doing much. Still in disbelief he really was there.
You didn’t expect him to be here. But here he was. “It leaves quite the impression, He chuckled. It was a long embrace, and you say,”You found me. Quite surprised.”
“You figured I would, He teased. “Not this fast, and really it was hope, You tease right back, lips on his, it was passionate and sweet, ideal for a reunion.
“The sun’s hot, come in the shade, You offer. He had some ice, now melted and offered it.”Here. For you.” “Thank you, You reply.
You were very thirsty. The moment the water hit your tongue you were in heaven. “This must be the only cold thing in November, he joked.
You laugh in response.”So, Coriolanus Snow, What are you doing in the Meadow?” You were half joking. You never were fully serious. At least until it came to your feelings for him.
“Spending some time with my girl, He replies. The word My, a possessive tone, You notice. But brush it off.
“It’s unbelievable, You admit.”Truly. But I was surprised they brought me back. I swore It was all me.” “But it wasn’t, he points out. You look at him.”Clearly they didn’t believe me.”
His lips were on yours again, long and passionate. You two hadn’t seen each other since the games ended.
“Well, It was hard to believe for me too, He admits.”Tell me what happened after.” It was difficult to recall everything. The games were a nightmare. Especially the Arena. And Mayfair.
As the two of you share the water, You couldn’t help but wonder as he told stories, exchanging them, if something was wrong.
“Poor Jessup, You say sympathetically.”He didn’t deserve that. It was you, though, wasn’t it? The one who killed Bobbin?”
“I had to, Coriolanus replied.”He tried to kill me.” “I’m not saying what you did was wrong, but I suppose killing is for survival in the Arena, You reply. Snow only nodded.
“I heard the others brag, You say.”So I know. I thought the worst happened. You know, that you were dead.”
Heading back up beside him, You still couldn’t believe he was here. Whatever relationship you had, seemed to grow.
“What have you been up to? He asks, curiously.”It’s been a while.” “It has, you laugh.”And truly, not much. A few performances here and then. At the Hob, Maude Ivory’s an amazing singer like Lucy Gray.”
For a mere moment, You were in complete bliss. And that night was a normal evening for the Covey. Your parents were killed, well, your adoptive parents. They took you in, then Maude Ivory came along, your younger sister.
You became a part of the Covey. Until of course, their murders. But you had her, at least. “You want one? A peacekeeper asks, referring to liquor.”You might need it for your performance.”
“Sure, You grin, taking a swig, not making a reaction to the bitterness of it.”You’re right. I might need it.” Lucy Gray was a beautiful singer, but tonight, let you perform.
“Are you sure? I’m not the songbird, You tease. “I’m sure, and Maude Ivory wanted you to, She sweetly says. Your cousin was always the songbird.
“Besides, I think he’d like to hear you sing, Lucy Gray smirked. You knew who she was referring to. Truly the one who knew of your relationship, but by accident.
You wore a yellow dress, not too short but not too long either, and sunflowers in your hair. You wanted to have a good impression.
You tease her,”I think he’d like to hear you.” But you went up there, guitar in hand. A talent that you and Lucy Gray both had. It was the genes, you swore.
But you amazed the crowd as you sang. You were no Songbird. But you had some talent. And the whole time your eyes were on him.
It made him feel more special, in a way. Like the only person could make you feel this happy was him. Him. You were his, at least in his eyes.
But you did a wonderful performance. You mostly did instruments and stood in the background. You didn’t sing much.
Even though you were aware he was there, you went on, even with butterflies in your stomach. It was later that evening that things went downhill.
You said goodbye, even to Coriolanus, saying,”I shouldn’t be out so late anyway. But I promise, straight tomorrow. I’m sure you have peacekeeper things to do, anyway.”
He smiles.”It’s alright. You must be tired from that performance.” You laugh, then nod, quickly kissing him, then moving along.
You didn’t notice that he followed you. He was quite literally, obsessed. Especially after hearing your sweet voice. Since finding your home in the Seam, it wasn’t hard to follow you, and pretend he was there for something else.
Sometimes, he’d meet you there. Other times, didn’t even know he was there watching. He’d call it protectiveness. But it was really a sense of possessiveness over you.
That’s what it really was.
He heard your voice in your room, you sang to yourself. You sang a love song. That wasn’t hard to understand.
He had a sense of jealousy. It was clear the lyrics wasn’t about him. A past one, maybe. It wasn’t Billy Taupe. He had Lucy Gray. So who could you mentioned?
He was bloodthirsty. Or at least, had a taste for violence. He’d never say it or admit it. It was like he was a rebel. And he hated rebels.
But that didn’t stop him from feeling this way. As you danced and sang a little. Coriolanus defended his behavior, he was being protective of you. That nobody would hurt you.
He had fallen way too deep. And he was aware. You might feel the same about him, just as equally obsessed as he was. But that night, he wasn’t looking for trouble. Not much, anyway.
Someone stood beside him, admiring your singing. “Peacekeeper, huh? The male laughed. Coriolanus turns.”Yeah. Punishment. Not a choice.”
“She’s always been a singer, the male explained.”didn’t have much faith.” He wanted to know how the male knew that.
“How do you know? Coriolanus asked, curiously. “She wrote that song about me, the male bragged and seemed proud.”One of these days she’ll get back together with me.”
You never mentioned your ex lover much. Only that he hurt you, and that he was still infatuated. You were right about that.
“She isn’t interested, Coriolanus says, coldly. His fists clenched, along with his jaw, both from the rage he was feeling.
Maybe it was his narcissistic tendencies that were showing. A feeling of shame. A feeling that, he was superior than the male standing in front of him. He’d do so much better.
And with that, he swung. He could’ve shot him. But it was the easy way. And he didn’t deserve the easy way. His blood thirst took over a little, and like Bobbin, didn’t know how far his strength would go.
He stands back, his knuckles bleeding and blood on his uniform he’d have to explain later. Maybe it was a mistake coming to visit you. Your singing had stopped.
He pants. What had he done? Standing over the body, Coriolanus realized what he truly had done. And what could he do? He didn’t want a career as a peacekeeper; but his future would be damaged even further. He had to do something.
The Lake.
It brought him good memories. Swimming alongside you and the covey. But he’d have to hide the body somewhere.
It took a lot of his strength; but didn’t wear him out to drag him to the lake. It wouldn’t be too hard hiding evidence. His body would eventually disappear and Coriolanus doubted anybody cared about him. You didn’t anymore.
And he just watched. After the blood washed off, He walked away. He left the Seam. He'd come back. But You'd be aware of it.
Morning came, and peacekeepers came knocking at your door. The whole morning was a mess. When you did eventually meet up with Coriolanus, you decided on telling him about it.
“Did you know? She asked.”I’m assuming every peacekeeper knew. The guy I used to go out with was murdered. Found in the lake.”
“We were informed today, but I wasn’t the one who found it, He lies. He did not like lying, but he had to. He held a tight grip on you.
And he wasn’t letting you go.
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cherry-leclerc · 8 months
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fucked-up little thrill ☆ cl16
genre: pwp but also porn with plot (the best of both worlds!), humor, she truly is a maneater in disguiseee
word count: 8.3K
There’s a difference between warning and danger - you happen to be both. Though, Charles only sees the green light, go. Well, we can all imagine how this will already go.
nsfw warnings under the cut!
18+...oral (m and f receiving), fingering, handjob, penetrative sex, riding, slight cry, unprotected sex
inspired by this and this !
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“She’ll mess with your head, man. You’re going to wish she had never looked your way.” 
“I told my mom about her. Crap, I bought her an engagement ring after a few days of knowing her.”
“Four words: Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
“Do you know how fucked in the head you have to be in order to willingly go after her? Fucking pathetic. Sure, I did the same, but hear me out-”
Despite the warnings, he didn’t pay them any attention. He thought he was going crazy for sure when he saw two guys on their knees, begging:  Run, just do it. And whatever you do, don’t look back.
Charles wasn’t even listening. 
-
The nights were beginning to get warmer, yet there was still a slight breeze. Spring was rolling in. What an innocent season to meet the wildest card Charles has ever dealt. 
“...then she laughed so hard that, Jesus Mary and Joseph, my heart went bananas! Y’know what I did next? I asked her, ‘You want a slice?’ I meant the tiramisu, guys! She thought I was talking about myself! T’was the most embarrassing thing. Made me look like a bloody narcissist.” Lando whined as he leaned onto the table to hide his face.
George snorts. “Ah don’t worry mate, I would gladly take a slice.” Lando groans, further rubbing his forehead onto the table. So much so, that it began to squeak.
“Alright, calm down before you shed your skin off. It wasn’t that bad.” Alex voices, as he pops a curly fry into his mouth. 
“Easy for you to say! You basically have the person you’re going to get married to! You’re safe.” The Brit pouts. He then lifts his head up and wipes away a single tear. Everyone explodes into laughter.
“Muppet, c’mon we were kidding! Weren’t we just fooling around, Charles?” Carlos wiggles his eyebrows at the Monegasque. Charles rolled his eyes playfully.
“Yes, of course we were joking,” he starts. Lando looks up, seemingly feeling better as everyone began to agree. We were just playing around!
“Then again, how did you even fall for a girl like that?” Charles finishes his sentence. 
“Argh. You don’t get itttt,” Lando wails in defeat. “When you meet a girl like that, you don’t question it. You just thank God for sending her your way and then BAM! She just walks out of your life.”
Hm - Charles thinks to himself as he takes a sip of Martini - naive, naive little Lando. 
-
Charles met you that same night he was out for dinner with the boys. He was waiting for his car from the valet; shooting Joris a quick text.
"Sorry," he overhears a soft voice, but still didn’t pay much attention.
"Sorry? You’re sorry? We both know goddamn well that you’re sorry about nothing. Nada. Zeeerrrooo," a man's voice angrily shouts back, voice slurring. 
Charles turns and sees a man running his hands through his blonde hair, walking back and forth in despair. Then, his eyes move to find you.
Standing tall in the tightest, shortest, black dress he's ever seen. So, the little black dress truly does exist. Glowy skin shining through from the lights decorating the outside of the restaurant. Your legs appear miles long, feet paired with your nicest set of heels, Joli Queen Glitter. Red fucking bottoms. Christian Louboutin at its finest. Rich jewelry sits on your wrists, fingers, and neck. 
Even with all that in the way, all he notices is just how drop-dead gorgeous you are. Suddenly, his fingers get clammy. What the hell? His jaw was clenched. Literally, why? His pants were growing tight because oh God he was already har- Alright, now that’s just crazy, Charles. Get it together.
“Yes. Whether you believe me or not, I’m sorry. Maybe you just shouldn’t have set high expectations,” you spoke, looking down.
“Are you being fucking serious right now? You’re smiling? You think this is funny! Oh God, what the fuck is wrong with you, you crazyyyy bitch!” The man continues, sharply pointing his finger at you accusingly. He genuinely looks like he’s about to start crying for his mommy.
“Okay mate, I think that’s enough. Why don’t I call you a cab?” Charles speaks up from where he’s standing. You and the mysterious guy turn to look at him. 
You shoot a smile as the man's eye starts twitching.
“Oh great! Great, great, great,” the man chants. “What an idiotic thing to believe that you hadn't gotten rid of me already! How could I not see it coming?” He drops to his knees and starts rocking back and forth. “On my dead hamster's birthday!” Levi, Charles later finds out, cries out to the sky. “Couldn’t this have happened any other day?” Charles cringes. “Call me that shitty ass cab, dude.”
So, you stand close by as Charles helps plop Levi inside with the help of the cab driver. They buckle him up and off they go. 
Not before Levi pokes his out the window. “I swear I’m not being bitter when I tell you to fucking save yourself!”
Both of you are left there standing quietly. You pout your red lips as you pull out your phone to call a cab for yourself. 
“Need a lift?”
-
Glancing around silently, you sneak a look at Charles. Handsome, you ponder, just a tiny bit. Outrageous lie. You quickly scold yourself for being so untruthful. This man was the most beautiful kind you’ve seen in your entire life. 
“Take it that was your boyfriend back there?” He taps his fingers against the wheel.
“Mmm. Hardly. No, he isn’t - wasn’t - my boyfriend by any means. Some guys just instantly assume stuff over any girl that pays them any ounce of attention.” You lazily trace shapes onto your thigh. You tug your dress down a bit, licking your lips. “Thanks for helping me out back there. It was really sweet.”
He notices the way you never look up from your lap as you’re speaking. It’s kind of endearing, just how soft you can be. “Don’t mention it…it was…no problem.”
He walks you from his car to your house. It's small, pastel yellow with a mailbox that reads; No more love letters. Seriously. “Cute,” he comments. You blush.
“Oh, that. Sorry, I live with my two best friends and they wrote that as a joke,” you ramble as you click your heel shyly. “They said it would help out with my, and I quote, ‘secret admirers.’” You let out a tired laugh as you finally build up the courage to look at the man standing right in front of you.
“To be honest, that makes sense.” He tilts his head a bit, analyzing your eyes. “Beautiful girls should receive beautiful letters.”
Tongue tied, you stare back with a pleased smile. 
“This is so unlike me, but would you like to go out some time?”
Easiest question ever asked.
-
A few nights later, he finally decides it would be a good day to take you out to dinner. Testing went well and the car was finally on the right track. He took this as a good omen.
“How long have you lived in Italy now?” you quiz, as you bring your Shirley Temple closer to your lips.
“Oh, um, for quite a while now. I mean it’s really only for work. I go home any chance I get.”
“Sweet. Where are you from?”
“Monaco.”
Your eyes grow wide with excitement. “Really! Monaco is so beautiful!” Your childlike squeal makes him smile brightly.
“Have you ever been?” You sadly shake your head, hair bouncing back and forth. Soft floral fills the air.
“Nope, but I wish to one day. I just know I’ll love it so much…” You trail off. “It’s just that growing up my favorite movie was Monte Carlo. Would beg my mom to play it any chance I could.” Maroon coats your cheekbones. He furrows his dark brows in confusion.
“Monte Carlo? You know, starring Selena Gomez?” His soft features pinch together. “...Leighton Meester? Katie Cassidy?” You desperatelyspit your words, trying to assist. He continues shaking his head. Never heard of it.
Your mood grows sulky as you pout. Leaning back, you finally take a sip of your drink. Oh, well now I really want something stronger than this.
“I would love to watch it some time though!” Charles tries as his voice cracks. He winces.
“Sure!” Though, you're not looking at him anymore. Your eyes are trained behind him. He’s about to turn around and ask if you’re fine, when you finally speak up. “I think I’ll go to the bar for another drink. Be right back!” He huffs. 
You weren’t back for almost too long. Finally, deciding to go look for you, he stands and takes long strides all around the dark restaurant. When he finds you he sees you’re not alone. 
A man in an all black suit seems to be your new company. You giggle as he appears to slide some type of business card to you. Just as you're about to grab it Charles strolls over to you both.
“Is your drink finally ready?” he asks as he wraps a protective arm around your waist. You flinch. You hadn’t even seen him walk over.
“Charles!” you shriek, as you crumble the piece of paper into the palm of your hard, hurriedly. You pray that he hadn’t noticed, but he had. Something inside of him told him not to ask. “I was actually on my way back. Did you need anything? A drink?” you ask, furrowing your brows attentively. 
“No, thank you, amour,” Charles warmly replies, looking into your glossy eyes. You truly were the best thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
“My apologies for getting in the way.” The man extends his hand out to Charles. “Aiden Quinn, pleasure to meet you.”
Charles may be upset that Aiden ruined his date, but he wasn’t keen on being rude, so begrudgingly, he shook his hand. “Charles Leclerc.” See, normally Charles isn’t the type to throw his name out like that expectantly, but he felt as if he had a point to make. He did, though. I was here first. 
The man grins ear to ear, nodding. “Yes, that’s where I know you from. I knew you looked familiar. Formula 1 driver, right? Ferrari?” He points with a knowing smile. 
“Scuderia’s number one driver, yes.” His grip around your waist stays secure. Meanwhile, your eyes are open to their fullest. Surprisingly, you had no idea. 
“Certainly. I’m one of the team's ambassadors, actually,” Aiden challenges. Charles clenches his jaw. “When you have million dollar businesses all around the world, you try to find a place to help. Ferrari really needs it at the moment.” You’re equally as shocked with Aiden as you are with Charles.
“Well then, I’ll make sure to dedicate my next podium to you I suppose." You shift uncomfortably. This reminds him you’re there. With him. Ha! Take that, Quinn! “Anyhow, I would love to chit chat with fellow fans, but I must say we have to get going.” He holds your hand firmly as he leads you out.
“Goodbye, Aiden!” you beam as you depart ways. 
-
“Formula 1 driver now, is it?” you curiously ask as you look over where he has one hand over the steering wheel and running the other calmly through his hair. 
“Thought you knew.”
“I had no clue! Zip!” you shriek as fling your arms through the air. He laughs as he pulls into an abandoned parking lot. 
“In the mood for something sweet?”
-
“Grazie mille,” the Monegasque says as he's handed cones of freshly made gelato. Smiling, he makes his way back to you. Hands you per requested raspberry, as he keeps his lemon one. 
“Molto gentile.” You inspect and nod your head in approval. Just hearing your tongue curl in Italian has him swooning. You take a lick and release a soft moan. “So sweet. Best I’ve ever had,” you declare as you continue enjoying your treat innocently.
Charles gulps, trying to cool down. “I told you it was the best.” He shoots a wink over to Luca, the owner, for keeping the shop open for a few more minutes. 
“You scared me a bit back there.”
“Pfft. With that Aiden guy…I’m sorry about that–”
“God no. Honestly, I completely forgot about that,” you mutter. “I meant with that whole, ‘In the mood for something sweet?’. Thought you were like the rest.”
The 25 year old keeps quiet for a minute. He gathers his thoughts before settling with, “I promise I’m not.”
“Keeping my fingers crossed you aren’t.” You look around with twinkling eyes. “You know, a date I once had asked me-”
You want a slice?
No.
“It shocked me how straight forward he was being. It wasn’t even our second date! I barely even knew the guy.” You frown at the memory. “Then he blamed it on the tiramisu.”
I meant the tiramisu, guys!
God no. 
“Never saw him again,” you finish as you finally focus back on him. A pale Charles is all you find.
“Woah, are you okay?” 
“Yes! I’m so good! You look lovely! Did I mention it already cause if I didn’t then call me the worst date ever!” He begins nervously laughing. His gelato dripping all over his arm.
“I think you did.” You smile as you hand him a few napkins. He returns the gesture, thanking you. “And don’t worry about it, leave that spot for Lando. Now he might take the crown.”
Charles let out a groan.
-
Charles went back and forth deciding whether he should reach out to you. He liked you. A lot. Nonetheless, he was hesitating because he just couldn’t do something like that to Lando. The Brit was as bummed out as one could get. So, it's settled. Bye bye baby.
“Of course. Tonight at 8,” your voice confirms on the other side of the line. Charles celebrates with a quick dance.
“See you then.”
-
He decides today that he wants to switch things up. Do something that would make him stand out from anyone that came before him. 
“Monaco?” Leaning on the hood of Charles' car, you feel you have to be dreaming. He nods his head lively.
“I could show you around, y’know be your personal tour guide.”
“You should have warned me! I don’t have anything ready!” you yelp as you hold your hands over your heart, frantically. He would be more worried if it weren’t for you smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
“We still have time. Come on, I’ll help you pack.”
-
When you make it to Monaco you’re greeted by a young guy wearing glasses, driving a Ferrari Pista. Charles and him fit in a quick embrace before they turn their attention back to you.
“Ah yes, this is Joris. He’s one of my closest friends,” Charles states as you warmly reach for a handshake. 
Reciprocating, Joris says, “Very nice to meet you.” You smile, returning the greeting. “Must say, you are just as beautiful as Cha had mentioned, if not more.” You blush as Charles clears his throat awkwardly.
“D'accord, mec. Pas besoin de le dire au monde entier,” Charles mutters. “Thank you for picking us up.” Joris nods, carrying your luggages. You share a quick goodbye before he finally makes his way to another car. “That’s also one of my very good friends, Marta.” You smile and wave as they drive off. 
Monaco definitely met your expectations. Everything just captivated your attention so much that you wouldn’t be surprised if you started to drool. 
“Holy shit. Your home is absolutely stunning!” you gasp. He wheels your bags in as he exhales.
“Merci. Make yourself at home.”
-
Thankfully, the flight was quick so you both have plenty of energy to go out for a late night snack. He takes you to his; Favorite place in the world! You’ll see.
A little stand sits in the corner of the street. 
“Lou makes one of the best crepes. Trust me, I’ve been a loyal customer since my school days.”
A little old lady is attending to customers, but stops as soon as she spots Charles. “Charlie! Chérie, je ne savais pas que tu étais de retour!” She makes her way around to hug him.
“Des projets de dernière minute, mais j'ai juste envie de manger une de tes incroyables crêpes,” he replies, as they pull away.
“And who is this pretty girl?” she questions as she looks at you, standing there patiently.
“Oop, hello. I’m a friend of Charles.” Lou smiles teasingly.
“Charlie, tu es là pour me dire que tu vas te marier?” Lou suddenly looks over the moon.
“Non!” he quickly shouts, so suddenly, you and Lou both jump a bit. Tight lipped, he apologizes.
“Like she said, we’re just friends."
-
The next morning after breakfast he recommends you bring something you can swim with. Skipping your way to his room, which he is kindly sacrificing for you, you roam through your luggage until you find a baby blue bikini. 
“You don’t get sea sick by any means, right?” He looks over at you with scrunched brows underneath a pair of glossy black Ray Bans. You shake your head.
“Great.”
You make your way to a tiny boat before he helps you settle in. You grab his hand softly as you step into it. A single touch of electricity seems to link your fingertips. It catches you both so off guard that he lets go of you so swiftly, you don’t even notice as you plunge into the water.
You let out a quick yelp before you go underwater and his hands fly to his head in embarrassment. You resurface with wet hair covering your face.
“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” he apologizes before extending his arm out for you to grab. Pushing your hair out of your face, you giggle. 
“It’s okay, I got it.”
Once you independently get on the boat, he unties the rope off the deck and takes a seat himself to drive you both to the unknown destination.
“Pretty please, can I know now where we’re going?” you squeal with puppy eyes. 
Lord help me, he thinks before replying. “We’re going to a little island I love. Îles de Lérins.” You look ahead, nodding patiently. “It’s beautiful, you’ll see.”
-
When you arrive it’s easy to understand that there doesn’t seem to be that many people. You basically have the place to yourselves.
He helps you off, not dropping you this time. There’s a small trail you both begin to take. It’s something peaceful, the moment you’re in. You almost wish to fit it into a snow globe. 
“My parents would always bring my brothers and I here all the time during summer when we were younger,” Charles confesses.
“You have brothers?” 
He turns to look at you, then continues ahead. “Yes. Two.” He kicks a rock out of his way, but something you didn’t know was just how clumsy this man child could be.
“Ouch!” you groan in pain as your hand flies up to your nose.
“Jesus! What’s wrong with me today? Are you okay? I’m so sorry!” He runs to you all panicky now.
You take it back. Break the goddamn snow globe.
You try tilting your head back to ease the blood pouring out your nose before he gently grips your face to gain your attention. You scrunch your eyes, sun suddenly blinding you. Quickly, he takes off his glasses and places them over your eyes. As you open them you notice he’s shirtless. He places his shirt on your nose to clean you up. You flinch a bit.
Instantly, you’re thankful for the sunglasses because wondering eyes were all you could give him. His lean muscles were just begging to be praised. 
You shake your head before taking the Puma shirt from him. “Thanks,” you mutter as you focus on a nearby tree. “Starting to think you might hate me or something.”
“Of course not... I could never hate you!” His voice cracks in nervousness. You snicker.
After a bit more wiping, you are as good as new. You both decide to take a dip while the water feels good. You strip from your Levi shorts and t-shirt. Dipping a toe to test the temperature, you shoot him two thumbs up. 
The ocean feels so fresh and silky against your skin. You can’t seem to remember the last time you’ve enjoyed someone’s company like this, even if they almost ruled you to the ends of Earth. Two fingers press against your neck. You spring one eye open and you see Charles biting down on his thumb. He relaxes.
“Sorry, I thought you crossed the line to the afterlife.”
You tread water to stretch your legs out. “I’m fine.”
He takes this time to note things he hadn’t paid attention to before. Like how your lashes pin against your skin since they’re wet. Or how a tiny bit of freckles are sprinkled on your nose. He curses himself for not having seen it any sooner. Pretty was an understatement. You were extraordinary. 
A few hours later you guys are back at his house sharing a pizza. Pepperoni, you both loved a classic.
“There’s no bruise,” he points out almost proudly. You shoot a playful scowl. He walks over to the T.V. and clicks the remote. “Monte Carlo?”
He loved it, the way you said he would. He especially enjoyed watching how much you loved it. 
“This movie was too ahead of its time,” you confirm as you dig your feet under the blanket you had curled into. 
“Well at least Grace and Theo got their happily ever after,” he pronounces. You shoot an impressed look. “What? I was listening.” You crawl up next to him and pat his cheek. His dimples pop out from how hard he’s smiling. 
He can’t help it the moment he reaches to cradle your face to press your lips together. He can’t help but let a moan slip out when you finally kiss him back. 
Finally, he picks you up to adjust you on his lap, which you comfortably settle into. You feel him underneath you so clearly you can’t help but move your hips. He feels so good.
The heated moment continues as he wraps his hands around the curve of your ass. You pull away as your lips move down to his neck. He almost gasps the moment you lick down his throat. It doesn’t help that you’ve been keeping your hips in motion. 
He almost passes out the moment your lips move to his ear and ask, no, beg; Let me taste you, please. How could he ever deny such offer?
Making your way down to your knees, he adjusts himself on the couch. He thinks to himself that if he were standing he would’ve made a fool out of himself because just the sight of you in front of him has him choking on his own breath. You just look so pretty.
You tug his shorts down, along with his boxers, and bite down on your lip as you grab his cock, softly. He has to stop himself from jerking into your hand. Precum sprouting from his tip. You can’t wait as you take kitten licks. Fuck, he whimpers. The sound of his voice makes you squeeze your thighs together.
Wrapping your lips around him, your hands reach to balance yourself against his thighs. You moan at the feeling of having him inside your mouth, drooling all over his lap.
This itself, is too much for Charles and thinks he’ll barely even be able to survive as his head turns against the couch' pillow with closed lids. You start bobbing your head and one hand flings down to jerk off what you can’t reach. He groans at the feeling. 
You start off slow but suddenly start picking up your pace. He opens his eyes, dazed, to catch a glimpse of you on your knees and this sight is something he won’t be able to forget even if he tried. With glassy eyes, you look up at him. You make a show of releasing your lips from his cock as you lap your tongue along it. Before going back at it, you twirl your tongue a couple of times around his tip before giving it a quick suck, then deep throat him. 
He grits his teeth as if to help deal with any of this but when you start toying with yourself he lets out the loudest whine he’s ever produced. You look up smiling, grazing your teeth lightly along him and he hisses at the feeling. Proudly, you fit him back into your mouth. 
“God, your mouth feels so fucking good,” he manages to get out before you solely start jerking him off.
“What about my hands?” you seductively tease. The sounds coming from both your hands and his cock should be considered a sin itself. He groans as he looks back to make eye contact with you.
“Your hands too, baby.”
He knows he’s close the moment you twist your wrist perfectly. So so good. You know he’s close when he begins to twitch underneath your fingertips. 
“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” he chants as you continue your dirty movements. He makes sure to look at you, focused, eyes drawn to his cock.
“Cum for me, Charles,” you coo as he finally bucks his hips into your hands and hot cum shoots all over your face. You wickedly smile as your lips reach his cock to continue swallowing the rest that is being released. He grabs you face to pull you off him and hauls you once again onto his lap. He’s about to kiss you before you pull away and point at the mess on your face. 
You wipe two fingers along your face and bring them to your mouth to clean them off. A pop is released when you let go. He shudders. 
This is the moment, Charles realizes, he’s so screwed.
-
When you make it back to Italy you realize that all you’ll have are a few fleeting moments together. With Charles going back to racing and you continuing your online classes, you’re both bound to be booked.
Though, Charles just isn’t ready to let you go. And a fucked up man will make fucked up choices when due.
So, he strings you along with him to the Miami GP. He realizes there’s a strong chance you might bump shoulders with Lando, but to be completely honest, he was past caring. He was completely smitten with you.
-
You wear your white summer dress as you are sprawled on his hotel bed. You’re a mess.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you whimper as Charles fingers slip in and out of you. He’s feverishly kissing down the side of your thighs, bites left in between. You groan in slight pain as you tug on his soft hair. This man has brought out the moon and stars, for you.
“C’mon baby, look at me,” he whispers as he paints you with hickeys in between your legs. Somewhere no one else will ever be able to catch a glimpse of. You nod your head as you look down to find him gripping your dress over your thighs, eating you out like a starved man. You shut your eyes as you release a few soft pants, the heels of your feet press deeper against his Ferrari polo.
“Open you’re eyes.”
You shake your head. You wish you could look at him, you really wanted to, but it’s just too much take in. You wanted to make this last.
But Charles was greedy. He wanted to taste you. He stops everything all at once. You let out a cry. Fuck him.
You bring your arms around his neck, loosely, as he kisses your shoulder. “Why’d you stop?”
“You weren’t looking at me.”
With all your strength you open your glittered eyelids. 
“That’s a good girl,” he coos as he picks you up and sits you at the edge of the bed. You look down at him confused as he gets on his knees in front of you.
“If you can’t look at me, then you’re going to have to look at yourself,” he directs as he begins to push your dress back up your waist. You lean against your elbows as you realize what other than Charles is in front of you.
A shiny glass mirror.
With a slightly open mouth you’re about to protest before Charles picks up right where he left off. He spits on your clit before rubbing it. You bite down on your bottom lip so hard, you draw blood. 
“Don’t tell me I have to get you to moan now?” Charles stares at you with furrowed brows. You shake your head no before he kisses your knee. “Good.”
He makes sure you look straight at your reflection before he curls his fingers inside of you. You mewl at the touch. Your legs beg to bring him closer.
He lets out a light chuckle before repeating his motion. With sleepy eyes, you stare at the way your legs rest against his shoulders. You had painted your nails bloody mary a few nights before, in support of him and his team. Your face all fucked up singly by Charles’ long fingers and delicate touch, red lipstick all over your mouth from how heavy your make out with Charles had been.
To him, you looked like an angel. 
You squeal as he presses his nose against your pussy. You grind against his face. He pulls away and you whine, looking at him desperately.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” he reassures you as he moves up to kiss your cheek and then your pouty lips. 
“Cha, please,” you beg hopelessly. He grins as he pushes your hair out of your face and runs his thumb across your lips trying to clean you up a bit.
You take a chance and wrap your lips around his finger, and you begin to suck. Expertly, you swirl your tongue. Eyes look back at him, almost challenging. He lets out a strained groan.
With all the willpower he has left, he removes his finger from your mouth. Nicely wet, he presses it back where you needed him the most.
“Thank you, baby, you shouldn’t have.” You cry out at the sudden size of his thumb now being inside of you. He switches out his thumb for his middle and ring finger. You throw your head back. All the back and forth almost has you blacking out a few times. Charles gives you a quick peck, fingers building speed, as he pulls your dress down a bit to release your plump tits.
Now he’s at a loss for words. Quickly, he regains his composure and starts sucking on your left nipple, legs squeezing around his waist as a reflex. One hand flies to the back of his head as one makes its way to cup his cheek adoringly.
He moans against you, sucking hard before moving his attention to your right nipple. The way you’re wailing against him has him painfully hard against his jeans.
“Yes, God yes right there, Charlie,” you let out as you grind against his hand. He detaches his lips from your chest as he smiles up at you. 
“I’m right here, baby. Cum for me, yeah?” You let out the most pornographic moan as you finish around his hand. Tears make their way down your cheeks. Cleans his fingers, he shuts his eyes satisfied, before he towers over your body, pressing kisses all over.
You giggle. “That tickles." The 25 year old’s heart doubles in size at the sound of your fucked out voice. 
“Why don’t we get you cleaned up before the race?”
-
The race results weren't the best Charles has had, that’s for sure. Head hung, he makes his way to his motorhome. There he finds you on the tiny little bed, curled up, watching the rest of the ongoing interviews. As soon as you notice him you jump up to your feet and walk to him.
It's almost as if you knew how down he was feeling when you wrap your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his chest. He instantly feels better as his arms swaddle over your shoulders, chin atop your pretty hair.
“You did good,” you mumble. You press a faint kiss on his suit before looking up.
“I fucked up. I got P7.”
You frown at him before holding his face between your soft palms. “P7 is good, what do you mean?” He just shakes his head. “You’ve never heard of seven being a lucky number?”
He scoffs, but not at you, never you. More at himself. “Lucky?”
You pull away and sit back on his bed. “Oh yeah, seven bring all the luck in the world!” you squeal, as you plop on the bed. He laughs lightly as he lies beside you.
“Guess I’ll just take your word for it.” He hums with his eyes closed.
You turn on your side as you try to memorize his face. Like the small mole that sits on the left side of his face that makes him even more handsome, if anyone asks for your opinion. You scold yourself for not having noticed it before. As if to fix things, you name it one of your favorite things about him.
“You should. Things will get better, you’ll see.”
For once, he really believes it.
-
You both are walking out of the Ferrari home when you're suddenly stopped by someone calling Charles’ name. 
“Hey, Charles! Great race man!” A familiar voice rings through the air before you both have a chance to turn around. Both you and Charles, unknowingly of one another, want to make a run for it.
“Thanks, Lando,” Charles replies as he prays he might not notice you. But a girl as beautiful as you can’t go forgotten.
“Holy shit it’s you!” Lando wails as he instantly recognizes you from dinner a few months ago. You cringe. What the chances?
“Hi,” you squeak as you hide behind Charles a bit. You had no idea Lando was a Formula 1 driver too. You ought to do your research better next time.
“Mate! This is the chick I was telling you about over dinner last time!” Lando says, eyes almost popping out of his face from the shock he’s in.
“You don’t sayyyy.” Charles tries to hide it, though inside he’s freaking out as if he’s broken every FIA rule in the book.
“Hey, I want to say sorry for that night, I should have been more clear,” Lando begins to spill his apologies, as all you can do is silently stand there, accepting them all.
“Of course. Long forgotten,” you comfort the Brit. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy. 
“Charles, I’ll wait for you outside, alright?” you utter as he nods. Once you walk out, he turns to Lando frantically.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that was the same girl you were upset about!” he tells him. Liar. “You must be mad at me and I get it-”
“Nope.”
Charles stares back, caught off guard by Lando’s response. 
“You’re not?” 
Lando rolls his eyes. “I’m not. I just hope you realize what she’s capable of.” He leans in closer to Charles’ ear and Charles leans in too, expectantly. “I’ve heard stories, man…”
Charles immediately pulls away. “Okay, we’re done here. Bye mate!”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”
But Charles knew you better. He saw the way you looked at him. The way you felt. You were different. Fuck your following reputation.
“Ready?” 
-
When you got back from Miami, something had shifted. He couldn’t quite name the moment it had, but he was sure of it. He didn’t care though. He would put up with just about anything as long as that meant having you around.
“And then he told me to test the car again, said it was fixed. Fixed my ass!” Charles tells you over FaceTime. You were sitting in your bedroom, painting nonsense on a canvas. You wore some old overalls with loose space buns. Strands of hair would hit the paint from how messy it was.
“No way,” you say, not looking up. Charles smiles fondly.
“You look lovely by the way.” Though, you don’t seem to catch his affirmation for you. Your eyes are focused on something out of frame, in front of you. A quick smirk appears on your face but slips so fast that he almost begins to think he’s imagined it.
“Thank you, Charles,” you reply with a much bigger smile now. “Hey, how about I meet you at your house at 9? I’ll cook you a nice meal, promise.”
Like always, he knows he shouldn’t ask and also knows he can’t say no to you.
“I’ll be waiting.”
-
That night when you step into his house he notices things he wishes weren’t there. Like how your hair was a tad bit messy or how there were light bruises on your neck. He knows those didn’t come from him. He’d always been mindful to mark you in places no one else could admire, just him. Something bugs him knowing someone has seen them already.
“I’m so sorry I’m late." You rush in with bags from the nearby market, the one just around the corner from his flat.
“No worries. So, what will we be cooking, my little chef?”
That night you seem so infatuated by him, he truly thinks this all was his imagination. Maybe the wind blew your hair on your way here; he should have offered to pick you up. Maybe he forgot he had also marked your neck; he’ll make sure to be more careful next time.
He wraps his arms around your waist as you cut pieces of basil. Giggling, you turn around to peck his lips. Craving more from you, he lifts you up onto the kitchen island. He stands in between your legs as you stare up at him, ever a vixen.
As you lock lips, he picks you up, you yelp all giddy. He makes his way over to his bedroom, your lips lingering on his neck, he almost drops you from how good it feels.
“Careful, don’t need another wack in the face,” you mumble from his neck, light spirited. He rolls his eyes at your comment, but yeah, he should probably focus. 
Finally reaching his room, he kicks the door open so hard, it flies and instantly makes a hole through the wall. You gasp as he groans.
“Fuck it, it’s fine,” he murmurs as he takes you to his bed where he drops you. You giggle as your hair covers your face, he makes his way to hover over you and brush it away.
“You know I would do anything for you?” he asks, tenderness lacing his voice.
You stare back at him with bright and eager eyes. “Yeah. I know.”
He smiles as he leans down to kiss you and you instantly melt into the mattress beneath you. He kisses you so fast, so hot, that it has you feeling lightheaded. I’ve been kissed before but never, ever, like this, you think as he slips his tongue as a quick trick. You moan with pleasure. He smiles into the kiss. 
He picks his head up to get a good look at the angel the universe had ever so nicely sent his way. He caresses you gingerly. “Are you sure, chérie?”
You nod up and down eagerly, ready for more he’s willing to give. You are so desperate you would gladly take anything as long as it's from him. A flash of sadness strikes your face before it’s replaced with a warm smile. 
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” he comforts you as he begins to take a step back. You quickly hold onto his veiny arm. 
“I want to,” you confirm. You bring him back to you as you kiss him for the millionth time that night. Even that would never be enough. 
His hands make their way to slip your dress off. Once you're left in your matching lingerie, you push him on his back and straddle him.
“Holy shit,” he nervously laughs as you started to unbutton his linen shirt. He pulls his arm out as you sloppily brush your lips down his smooth chest, fingers tracing his firm abs. Then, as you’re about to pull his pants down, he grabs your hands firmly. You glance at him, confusion written all over your face.
“Ladies first,” he teases. You roll your eyes, but still slip out a quick, okay, before settling under him once again. He kisses down your neck gently as you hum out, finding peace with his lips hovering your body. Every new kiss he places on your soft skin makes you feel thousands of butterflies. You’d never experienced something like this before, you’ve never felt so flawless. 
Clumsy fingers roam your back as he unclips your bra then strips you from your panties. Seeing you completely bare has his dumbstruck. This is something he could easily get used to. 
His hands make their way to squeeze your tits, your head digs deeper into the mattress as you release a soft whimpers. Charles grows harder by the second, already getting rid of the rest of his clothes as quickly as he can.
He tugs you closer to him by your legs. A laugh rolls past your lips. Resting both arms by either side of your head, he pushes into you. Synchronously, you both let out a moan. You dig your nails into his shoulder as he grips onto the sheets. 
You feel so tight around him that it takes all of him not to lose control. You throw your arm over your face, face scrunched.
Putting his feelings aside, Charles leans down and plants a kiss on your arm. “C’mon baby, not again. Look at me.”
“I can’t…,” you cry out weakly, “...too big.”
“You just have to adjust,” he reassures you as he begins to move in and out of you. Your arms fly up to his neck and you grab on tight, as if he’s keeping you ashore. You moan loudly.
“That’s it, baby,” he whispers as he thrusts deep inside of you. Your velvety walls feel like home to him and he never wants to leave. 
You squirm when his cock hits your sweet spot. You yell into the nothingness and your grip on his hair tightens so much, he groans at the sensation. His hips pick up speed, and suddenly, he’s kissing you again. You whine into his lips, needy for more. Harder. 
As if he could read your mind, that's exactly what he does. Your lips form a silent O as you stare at him with eyebrows drawn together. He just feel so fucking good.
“Fuck baby,” he groans, voice deep. You shiver at the sound. “God, you feel so good, you’re doing so good,” he praises you as he now looks into your eyes. You wail in response, too fucked up to form any kind of sentence.
“I love you so much,” he announces so suddenly, you almost push him away. He keeps moving rapidly as he makes out with you eagerly.
As you kiss him back you realize something scary; you love Charles Leclerc. You think you’ve loved him for a while now, but having never been in love, you didn’t seem to notice the feeling. But you do now.
“I love you, too,” you murmur against his lips. When he pulls away you notice you’ve never seen him smile so big. You like being the reason behind it.
He immediately pounds into you harder, not holding back anymore and you’re both a mess. You moan so loud, you’re almost embarrassed but Charles seems to love it.
“If you love me,” he pants, “then tell me his name.”
He continues normally, but you swear you feel your heart stop. There’s no way.
“What are you talking about?” you manage to spit out, but the way he’s handling your body has you seeing stars.
“Please,” a desperate look flashes across his face, “just tell me his name.” His watch covered hand makes its way to your clit and he pushes his finger against it. God, his fingers are so-
“There’s no one.” Liar. “There’s just you.”
With that, you flip him over so now you’re on top of him. Hastily, you start to ride him, making sure to move your hips just the way he likes it. His head falls back against the bed frame as his fingers dig into your hips. You bite your swollen lips in slight pain, but also, just by looking at his current state.
Cheeks slightly pink with sweaty hair covering his face. Long disheveled hair that you pressed him not to trim quite yet. What a sight for sore eyes.
“Please,” he chokes out, “just tell me his name and I swear I’ll never bring it up again.” He opens his eyes to look up at you. His voice hitches when he sees you hopping on his dick, tits bouncing up and down. You throw your head back and circle your hips much harder.
“Fuck.” Charles gasps as he reaches up to attach his lips to your chest. He licks before softly biting down against your bud. You exhale sharply. He then lays back and holds onto your hips harder before helping you move on top of him. Wrapped around him, the motion between both of you picks up so fast you start shaking your head no.
“Yes, amour, say it. Please just tell me before I lose my fucking mind,” he grunts as he stares down at your juices as they make the filthiest sound against his own. 
“I swear Charles, I promise, that I have never loved anyone the way I do you,” you confess as you sink your nails against his chest, red marks instantly mapping themselves down.
“Beautiful fucking liar.” Charles smirks as he moves his fingers against your clit rapidly. With that, your walls clench around him as you cum so hard around him he can’t help but follow. You moan loudly as you fall against his chest as he groans lowly. 
Trying to even your breathing, you grab onto his hand. Instantly, he brings it up against his lips. Just the touch of his makes you want to ride him until you can’t no more. 
You meant what you said that night. Though you both should have known better. Being naive can’t always last forever.
-
“Then she left a note saying it’s best we just remain friends,” Charles reveals a few nights later over dinner. Everyone shares glances of empathy to the distraught Monegasque. Even Lando.
“It’s alright man, you’ll be over her before you know it,” Lando states as he shares a knowing smile. Charles bites down on his tongue knowing all this pent of anger wasn’t towards Lando. Not even for you. 
He would like to say that he learned his lesson and that he should have listened to everyone, all the warning signs that glowed above his head. But he knows damn well he would do it all over again if given the chance. He would say, do anything, to change your mind. To make you stay, but people like you never settled. 
Moping, Charles changes the topic as he begins asking how everyone’s break was. He didn’t really care, but he tried to pretend. 
Out of breath, Oscar rushes over to the table. “Sorry I’m late,” he says as he sits down in between Lando and Charles.
“No worries, mate, Charles was just filling us in on his expired love life,” Daniel fills in, nonchalantly. Charles immediately shoots a dry frown. Daniel shares an apologetic shrug.
“Oh. That sucks man,” the young Australian replies as he gulps down some water. “Speaking of love lives, you guys won’t believe it! I just met the prettiest girl of my entire life just now outside of the restaurant!”
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say-al0e · 1 year
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Just Friends
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Rating: M | This is smut, minors, DNI! No one under 18!
Summary: Everyone seems to think you’re Jake Seresin’s girl. It’s easier than explaining to them that you’re just friends with benefits. But that arrangement doesn’t seem to be working for either of you anymore. | Ft. “No, you idiot. I’m in love with you.” + “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” requested by anonymous and “You matter to me, you asshole.” + “I think you were put on this earth for the sole purpose of being a pain my ass.” requested by @dreamlandcreations
Warnings: Miscommunication, idiots FWB to lovers, fear of unrequited feelings, jealous!Jake, therapist Bradley, unprotected PinV. (I think that’s it but let me know and I’ll tag anything else)
Pairing: Hangman x fem!Reader
Word Count: 9.3k (....sorry)
Top Gun Taglist | Top Gun Masterlist
The Hard Deck was, as it always seemed to be on Friday nights, packed to the rafters. A sea of khaki greeted you the moment you stepped inside with Jake following close behind but, for the first time in a long while, he wasn’t dressed to match. Instead, he’d opted for a pair of jeans, a button-down you’d stolen on more than one occasion, and boots that had seen better days - though he had to be talked out of the cowboy hat, less to protect him from ridicule and more to protect your sanity. However, he still managed to blend into the crowd as you weaved your way through to the bar.
Jake remained close, as he always did, and kept a hand on the small of your back as he nodded his greeting to the handful of familiar faces he came across. The heat from his body bled through the thin material of his shirt - he always seemed to run hotter than the average, warm to the touch on even the coldest of days - and you could feel it warming your skin as he took a half-step closer to allow someone to pass.
Only one stool remained at the bar, the others occupied with the beginning of the night’s rush, and Jake pulled it out for you with a wink and a grin when you squeezed his bicep in thanks.
“Are there more people than usual or have I just not been in in a while?”
The question went unheard by those sitting closest to you, drowned out by the noise of a group cheering in the corner, but he heard you clearly. He leaned in, breath fanning over your neck - the scent of mint gum and that woodsy cologne filling your nose, sending a shiver down your spine that you worked to repress lest he notice - as he laughed quietly. “See, sweets, this is what happens when you avoid going out with me,” he teased, grinning when you rolled your eyes.
Avoiding Jake Seresin was the last thing on your mind. If anything, you’d gotten into a bad habit of altering plans just to spend more time with him and he knew that. Still, you huffed petulantly and shifted to lean against the bar. “If you want to blame anyone, blame my boss.”
Jake waved a hand, teasing, dismissive, and shook his head as he met your gaze. There was an easy amusement in his eyes, dancing across the sharp planes of his face, and you forced yourself to draw in even breaths even as you felt your heart rate skyrocket. “Excuses, excuses,” he drawled, biting back a laugh when you rolled your eyes at him, now second nature, regardless of how difficult it still was to think with his full attention on you. “But I’ll let you have it. Tonight, anyway.”
“How generous of you, Hangman.” It was deadpan, a stoic jab he’d heard a thousand times over, but you couldn’t help yourself as you raised a teasing brow. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re a damn saint?”
Another laugh, this one a little louder and drawing the attention of a handful of nearby service members, escaped Jake as he shifted his hand to squeeze your side. The heat of his palm bled through the thin material of your top, sank into your skin and branded his touch into your memory, but you refused to dwell as you focused on his reply. “What can I say, sugar? I’m a giver.”
Despite his reputation - narcissistic, selfish asshole - Jake was, indeed, a giver. He prided himself on giving just as good as he got, if not better, and you were grateful to be on the receiving end. Still, the innuendo made your face heat and had you glancing over your shoulder, just to see if anyone had heard.
With another roll of your eyes, you nudged his side but said nothing. There were moments Jake flustered you silent, struck you quiet with a quick retort, and the thought of his selflessness - in the form of that handsome face pressed between your thighs - had you ducking your head as Jake laughed. He shifted closer, trying to move out of the way, and you sighed quietly as you spared a glance around the bar.
There was no question what you and Jake looked like to anyone who glanced your way - to the table of women who’d clocked Jake the moment he stepped through the door, the group clad in flight suits who’d eyed you as you crossed the room - or anyone who overheard a snippet of your conversation.
The protective hand he kept on you, snug at the small of your back; the way he lingered at your side, body angled toward you, rather than toward the crowd; the way he tipped his head down, pressing himself even closer in an effort to hear you over the din of the bar - the implication was clear. You looked like any other couple, out for a night of drinks with friends, and you only wished it were that simple.
Nothing ever was, especially not when it came to Jake, so you refused to allow yourself to dwell on that thought. You’d resigned yourself to your fate - doomed to be little more than friends with benefits, comfortable with casual intimacy until you began to consider your feelings - and figured Jake didn’t give your situation any thought at all.
Pulling you out of your distraction, Jake nudged your side and tipped his head toward the pool tables in the corner.
Spotting the rest of the group was always easy - they rarely strayed far from the pool tables by the windows, usually busying themselves with a game as they decompressed - and you returned their greetings with a grin and a wave of your own.
Penny, who was manning the bar alone for the time being, shot you both a smile as she placed the same bottle of beer Jake usually ordered on the counter in front of you. It would be a few minutes before she made her way to you, if the crowd was any indication, and you could feel Jake shifting at your side. 
This wasn’t the first time you’d accompanied him to the Hard Deck - you ended up by Jake’s side in the little bar more often than you cared to admit - and had a routine. “I’ll be fine, Jake,” you assured him, laughing as you caught him glancing at the pool table. You turned just in time to see Javy tip his head in invitation, urging Jake to join him in a game against another set of pilots, and nudged his side. “Go ahead. I’m gonna get a drink and people watch. I’ll make my way over eventually.”
Just as he always did, Jake eyed you for a moment, clearly debating being chivalrous. He would offer to remain by your side, wait with you for Penny to make your drink, and guide you over to the pool table to hang out with the others, but you always nudged him away.
When you cut your eyes at him, he relented. “Alright,” he acquiesced, lifting his hands in mock defeat, though he still managed to grin. “I’m going. You need me, you know where to find me.” When you nodded, acknowledging the same declaration he gave every time, he turned his attention to Penny. “Penny, m’dear, her drinks are on me.” She knew that by now - had been given the same instruction at least every other Friday for nearly a year - but still nodded, acknowledging Jake’s insistence.
With that, Jake nodded and squeezed your side gently before heading for the group.
From the bar, you were able to catch sight of the group as he approached and laughed as Rooster pointed at the boots Jake wore with raised brows. Through the din, you weren’t able to make out the comment but knowing the pair, you figured it was a dig at Jake’s fashion sense. True to your assumption, the pair began to trade good-natured jabs and you shook your head as you turned your attention elsewhere.
In the beginning, when Jake first invited you to join him at the Hard Deck - back when you could confidently tell the others that you were just friends, back when you believed that yourself - finding your place amongst the crowd seemed next to impossible.
The bar, once overwhelming and far too busy for someone used to less populated divers, was now familiar. Many of the faces were now ones you knew, ones you’d seen a dozen times over, and most of them would even greet you alongside Jake now. You often marveled at how quickly it seemed to become something akin to a home base, beloved and revered and a highlight of your week, but the thought never lasted longer than a moment. The Hard Deck was part of your life now, just as Jake was, and you weren’t one to question it.
Questions, in general, weren’t asked outright.
Though people stopped to speak with you occasionally, no one ever asked about your relationship status - no one outside of the group of friends Jake managed to make, anyway - and no one needed to. Just friends or not, it was clear to anyone who glanced your way that you were Jake Seresin’s girl.
Knowing that everyone saw you as Jake’s girl eased some of the weight pressing on your chest. It made it a little easier to breathe, made you feel a little more secure as you sat at the bar, but that feeling never lasted very long. It didn’t matter much what everyone else thought, not when you knew different. You weren’t his girl, not really, and that hurt more than you cared to admit.
The little moments, hallmarks of a relationship, were the ones that got you the most.
Jake had no problem placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you through the crowd or throwing an arm over your shoulders in a brief greeting when you joined him near the pool table, but that was as far as PDA went. 
Not being able to wander over to him, press a kiss to his shoulder, his jaw, the corner of his mouth as he stood with a pool cue and a beer in hand; not being able to warp your arms around his waist and lean fully into him, lose yourself in the weight of his arm wrapped around your shoulders or the feel of his hand in yours; not being able to love him in the way you so desperately wanted, eager to show him just how deeply you cared, made your chest ache in a way that was growing all too familiar.
It was growing all too difficult to keep up with the charade. Pretending that you were fine with the arrangement you made before you really got to know Jake - before you fell in love with him - seemed to be getting harder by the day but there wasn’t much you could say without losing him entirely. 
And when it came to Jake, you were used to being halfway happy.
There would come a time when halfway happy wasn’t enough, you knew that. But you hadn’t figured out how to live a life without him yet. The vast majority of your free time was spent with him - tucked into his sheets, his body between your thighs; lying on your couch, watching some shitty movie in one of his t-shirts as he lounged in sweats; sitting on the beach, sand covering your entire body and crashing of waves replacing the sound of his soft moans in your ears - and you knew that life without him would be an adjustment.
For now, however, you refused to dwell on what that might look like.
However, as hard as you tried to brush that thought away - the thought that one day, maybe soon, you’d be forced to live a life without Jake Seresin in it - it continued to plague you as you sat at the bar. The crowd shifted around you and you watched, eyes skimming the crowd but not truly seeing, as service members came and went.
The seat beside you had been empty for a while but you really only noticed when a new body filled the void to your right and knocked a knee into yours.
Bradley Bradshaw smiled at you, that soft half-smile he used when he wasn’t quite sure how to approach, before glancing at Penny and raising a hand for her to bring him another beer. When the bottle was placed in front of him, he turned back to you.
“Long time no see,” he began, smile growing a touch more real when you met his eyes. “Where’s Hangman been hiding you?”
A scoff, practiced and easy - hopefully enough to hide the dark cloud that had formed above your head - escaped before you took a sip from your now watered-down drink. “He wishes it was that easy to get rid of me,” you joked, smiling slightly when Bradley laughed. “I’ve just been busy. Work’s been kind of insane.”
Bradley hummed thoughtfully, considering your statement, before taking a sip of his beer. “Explains why Hangman’s been more annoying than usual lately.” The comment was teasing, a jab you’d heard more than once - most of the Dagger Squad claimed that Jake was more manageable with you around - but Bradley gave you no time to dismiss the thought as he continued, “Glad you were able to get out tonight, though.”
The group had been nothing but kind to you, welcoming in a way you hadn’t expected, and your smile grew a little wider as you nodded. “Yeah,” you agreed readily, “me, too.” Even if you’d driven yourself to distraction, thinking about what may never be, you were truly happy to be back at the Hard Deck. Still, you decided to shift the conversation to Bradley. “How’re you? I’ve heard this first class is… challenging.”
Jake didn’t speak of work often but he’d taken to venting some of his frustration with you, occasionally sharing his annoyance as you lounged in your living room, and you knew that their first class of Top Gun recruits was not the cakewalk they’d imagined. Bradley’s wince seemed to confirm Jake’s assessment.
“I know I wasn’t a saint when I was going through it,” he began, sparing a glance over his shoulder at a group of pilots in the corner, “but I don’t think I was ever that cocky.”
“I’m willing to bet Jake was.”
If the comment surprised Bradley, he didn’t let it show. Instead, he laughed and nodded his agreement easily. “Yeah, he was. Hasn’t changed much, either,” he pointed out, eying him where he stood near the dartboard with Coyote. You knew that it wasn’t exactly a negative observation - Jake and Bradley had grown to be friends, truly fond of one another, despite their differences - and smiled as he returned his attention to you. “Some of these kids are going to give him a run for his money, though.”
“Another Hangman? Yikes. How will the Navy survive?”
Bradley hid his grin behind his beer as he shrugged. “We may never know.”
The conversation tapered off then, a comfortable silence falling over the pair of you as the crowd continued to thrive around you. As Bradley turned his attention to the group of friends he’d wandered away from, you spared a glance at Jake. He hadn’t seemed to notice your new companion yet - or didn’t care enough to glance your way - and the thought made you sigh before returning your attention to Bradley.
It was no secret that Bradley Bradshaw was beautiful. His beauty was different than Jake’s - a little less polished, a little rougher around the edges - and there was a certain charm to him that drew people in. Some days, you wondered what life might’ve been like had you met any of the others before Jake managed to sweep you off your feet, but that wasn’t a thought you ever let run very far.
Like it or not, Jake Seresin had you in his clutches. You were in love and there was little you could do to change that.
Still, Bradley seemed to read the look on your face and laughed quietly. A wry smile twisted his lips as he took a pull from his beer. “No offense,” he began as he spared you a sideways glance, “you’re beautiful and if you were here with anyone other than Hangman, I wouldn’t hesitate. But I don’t feel like fighting him. Today, anyway.”
As Bradley glanced over his shoulder, in the direction of the dartboard, you allowed your gaze to follow. This time, Jake was already eying you and the expression on his face was unreadable, a stoic mask that you weren’t in the mood to decipher. He hadn’t given you that look in months and you had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t be giving you that look were it not for your company.
With a sigh, you returned your attention to the drink in front of you - now melted ice and a hint of vodka. “We’re just friends,” you explained, though the declaration sounded weak in your own ears, hollow and rehearsed, and you were unable to look him in the eye. You weren’t sure who you were really trying to convince; him or yourself.
“Does he know that?” When you tipped your head to fix him with an unimpressed look, Bradley raised a hand in mock defense. “Look, Hangman’s a lot of things - an ass, mostly - but he’s not subtle.”
A snort of agreement - undignified but honest - escaped with a nod. Jake Seresin didn’t believe in subtlety and you were a firsthand witness. Though, that was at least part of the reason you were certain friendship was the only offer on the table.
“Subtle he is not,” you agreed, swirling your glass just for something to occupy your hands, “and he has made it very clear that he’s not interested in a relationship. So, just friends. With benefits.”
“When was the last time you talked about it? Because, I’ll be honest, on that first night, none of us thought we’d see you again. But then you came back,” he reminded you, expression as serious as you’d ever seen it. “It’s been nearly a year. Even when you’re not here with him, he’s with us or Coyote, doesn’t even look at anyone else. We’ve all seen the change in him,” Bradley admitted, knee knocking into yours to get your undivided attention. “There’s more to you and we can all see it. We get Hangman but you get Jake.”
Realistically, there was no reason for Bradley to lie to you. There was no way he could know the fantasy you were certain only existed in the depths of your mind. You considered him a friend - an acquaintance, at least - but you weren’t close enough for him to feel the need to protect your feelings. There was no reason for him to tell you what you wanted to hear but that did little to calm the churning in the pit of your stomach.
The thought that Jake Seresin could love you in the way you loved him, that he could truly want you - all of you, not just the parts that were convenient - seemed impossible. Too good to be true, even.
“Y’know, if flying doesn’t work out, you could make a hell of a therapist.” Bradley fixed you with an unimpressed look, accompanied by a disappointed tilt of his head, at your deflection. “Fine,” you sighed. It was clear that he wouldn’t be swayed, convinced that he was doing you and Jake a favor, so you gave in to the line of conversation. “Sure, I get Jake, but not all of him. I get just enough to break my heart and, honestly, I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Bradley.”
“I try to avoid talking to Hangman at length,” Bradley joked. That was true once upon a time, though things had changed since the first Dagger mission. You knew he wouldn’t be trying so hard unless he truly cared about him - about you both - but the joke still pulled a small smile to your lips as he nudged your knee once more. ��You can’t, though. That’s only setting you both up for hurt.”
“Alright, Dr. Bradshaw,” you teased, though it sounded weak in your own ears. Bradley rolled his eyes and you relented with a nod. “Yeah. You’re right, I know. I just… I don’t want to ruin what we’ve got. It’s better than nothing.”
“For now,” he reminded you before sparing a glance over his shoulder. When you followed his gaze, it landed squarely on Jake who was eying the pair of you with a look that you didn’t like very much. It was harder than it had been only moments before, darker. The set of his jaw, the narrowing of his eyes, the thin line of his lips - it was a look you’d only seen a handful of times and it tied your stomach in knots. “Looks like you’ll have plenty to talk about tonight, anyway.”
Bradley had the decency to hide his amusement with a pull from his beer as you huffed. “I really don’t like that look.”
“In his defense,” Bradley began, lifting himself from his stool, “I’m pretty sure it’s directed at me, not you.” He shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the weight of Jake’s gaze on his every move, and offered you a final smile as he reached for the new beer Penny left in place of his empty bottle. “Believe it or not, Hangman really is better when he’s with you. He’s tolerable, almost. And I think you’ll both be happier when you talk about it.”
“Yeah.” Another sigh, this one resigned to the fact that your night would end with a conversation you weren’t sure you were ready to have, before you shot him a half-hearted smile. “Thanks, Bradley.”
With a nod and a tap to the bar, Bradley turned to make his way back to the pool table. You could see the question in Phoenix’s eyes - in the raise of her brow when he returned - but didn’t bother keeping an eye on the conversation as your attention returned fully to Jake.
The moment Bradley wandered away, Jake pressed the remaining darts into Coyote’s hands and made his way through the crowd. He stood close, body radiating a heat that you usually found so comforting, and you nearly held your breath as he offered Penny his card to settle what had to be the smallest tab he’d ever started.
Green eyes, alight with an annoyance that told you Bradley was right - there would, indeed, be a conversation of some type before the night’s end - met yours. Instead of calming the rapid beat of your heart, it only seemed to send you spiraling further when he pressed a hand to the small of your back.
“You looked like you were having fun.”
It was casual - almost dismissive - the way he said it, but you could feel the ice in his comment chilling you to the core. Try as he might to feign nonchalance, you knew him. You could read the acid behind the charming smile he wore and swallowed hard.
This was his way of picking a fight - just as he had the first time a stranger at the Hard Deck hit on you, just as he had the last time a stranger at another bar stood a little too close - and you were in no mood to indulge him. You weren’t interested in admitting you hadn’t really considered anyone else a possibility in months, that you hadn’t even really looked at anyone else since beginning your relationship with him.
Instead, you brushed his hand away and stood from your stool before beginning to nudge your way out of the bar.
There was no doubt Jake was on your heels, so close your could still smell his cologne, but you didn’t dare spare him a glance until you reached the passenger side of his vehicle. When you turned to glance at him, shoulders slumped and backs of your eyes stinging with traitorous tears, the frown on his face drew a weary sigh.
“I’m tired, Jake,” you lied, arms folding over your chest. “Just take me home, please.”
Jake’s hands flexed, desperate to keep himself calm - and to keep himself from falling into the habit of reaching for you, tugging you into his chest and kissing you breathless with the intent of reminding you just whose name sounded best on the tip of your tongue. “I’m sure Rooster would have no problem taking you home. Why don’t you ask him?”
The sneer was unsurprising. Jake’s tried and true tactic in response to any kind of hurt - real or perceived - remained a sharp remark, designed to cut deep and you could feel your own weariness being replaced by annoyance. It tasted bitter, harsh and unfamiliar, as you shook your head. 
“We were just talking.” It took considerable effort to keep your voice even, devoid of the anger you knew he was hoping to draw, but you managed as you met his gaze head on.
Jake scoffed, wholly unconvinced, and smiled that sardonic smile that made you understand why so many people seemed to dislike Hangman - a persona you were fortunate enough to have been beyond. That wasn’t Jake, not the one you knew, and you reminded yourself of that, even as he declared, “Sure didn’t look like it from where I was standing.”
“I don’t know what you think you saw, Jake, but I wasn’t flirting with Bradley.” The assertion was strong, confident, and accompanied by a glare you hoped would hurt him as much as he was hurting you. “But, honestly,” you began, words spilling into the night air before you could think twice, “so what if I was? I can flirt with whoever I want because we’re just friends. Right?”
A twitch of his jaw, the slightest gesture but telling, was the only reaction you managed to pull from him. Instead, he shut down and that stoic mask - a front, hiding the raging sea that still swirled in the depths of his eyes - returned as he reached for the door handle. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it."
“Then what are we, Jake?” The question was quiet, nearly lost to the crashing of waves, and Jake gave no indication that he’d heard you outside of another tic of his jaw.
No answer was offered, no insight into what ran through his head. Instead, Jake pulled open the passenger door and tipped his chin toward the seat. “Get in.”
While silence with Jake was not uncommon, it had never been uncomfortable. You’d gotten into the habit of spending the odd night together, lying in silence as you both read or scrolled through your phones in the afterglow of sex, but it was comfortable. There was never a weight to it but the silence that lingered on the ride to your place pressed on your chest and constricted your lungs.
Tension, thick and blinding, filled the car, even as Jake pulled into your driveway and shut off the engine. Neither of you spoke for a long moment, both staring straight ahead and attempting to gather your thoughts. You were tempted to go inside, leaving Jake behind, and calling it a night. But you couldn’t help yourself.
“You matter to me, you asshole,” you reminded him, voice a whisper in the darkness. “You know that, right?”
“Yeah? Rooster matter to you, too?”
The lack of venom in the question told you that he didn’t mean it. It was a reflex, his go-to when he felt cornered - likely by the realization that tonight would not end the way either of you imagined it would - and you wanted to give him grace. But this had become more frequent lately, a bitter end to nice nights, and had been working your nerves. Combined with the acrid taste of reality you’d doused yourself with earlier in the night, you couldn’t bite your tongue.
With a shake of your head, you unbuckled your seatbelt and turned to look at Jake. “You just can’t help yourself, can you? Jesus, sometimes I think you were put on this earth for the sole purpose of being an asshole.” When Jake rolled his eyes, scoffing at the comment, you huffed. “Everyone can see that I’m in love with you, you dickhead. Bradley was trying to convince me that I should say something because it’s been so obvious to everyone but you for nearly a year and I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay with just being friends with benefits.”
Jake Seresin was not one to doubt himself, nor was he one to doubt the intentions of others. His romantic exploits had given him a great deal of confidence in navigating conversations about lust or even infatuation, but a confession of love was, undoubtedly, not something he’d been expecting to hear. For just a moment, you could see a flicker of surprise in his eyes before he blinked and shook his head. “You don’t mean that.”
It was clear that he hadn’t been loved in a long while - not by a partner, someone not obligated to love him through blood or shared trauma - and your heart broke as you watched him attempt to process the implication. What you had was safe, a way for him to keep his walls in tact while experiencing a modicum of the affection he so desperately wanted, but it wasn’t enough.
For either of you, it seemed.
Beneath the doubt, the surprise, lingered a glimmer of something bright. You refused to believe that it could be hope - because hope was the thing that would kill you - but you were in too deep to end the conversation there. So, you nodded.
“Yeah, I do. I’m in love with you. I know the lines have blurred in the last few months and a label doesn’t change much but, fuck, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t deal with not knowing where I stand with you. I can’t deal with being called your girl but knowing I’m really not. I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay playing house when I can’t even confidently tell my family about you.” With a sigh, you shook your head and admitted, “Half-happy isn’t enough for me anymore, Jake.”
Jake remained silent for a moment, statue still in the driver’s seat, but you could see the emotions flickering in his eyes. A part of you wanted to beg him to speak, to tell you to leave or that he was flattered but it would never work or that he was sorry to have lead you on, but you remained quiet and allowed him to process. And after the longest few moments of your life - in reality, no more than a minute or two - he lifted a warm hand to cup your jaw.
As if in slow motion, Jake leaned over the console and pressed his mouth to yours in a searing kiss. Though you’d kissed him more times than you could count over the last year, this kiss was unlike any other you’d shared. It was rough, passionate and clumsy with a lack of finesse Jake usually possessed, but it spoke volumes. His fingers pressed into the hinge of your jaw, lips warm and searching as he gave himself fully to the embrace.
The warmth of him, overwhelming in the small space, bled into your skin and sent a shiver down your spine as you allowed yourself a moment to indulge. The kiss felt like a goodbye - only comparable to the one you’d shared before Jake left for a weeklong mission - and you weren’t sure if you’d get another.
“Jake, stop,” you mumbled against his mouth, shifting your head as best you could to break the kiss. Despite the hold he kept on you, he allowed you to pull away and remained close as you tipped your head to search his face. There was no hint of what he was feeling, though you took a moment to commit the look to memory - the flushed cheeks, the ruddy lips, the bright eyes - before sighing. “You can’t get out of this conversation with sex.”
“We’re not just friends,” he repeated, voice so soft it made your chest ache. It was a tone you’d only heard once before, in the dim of your bedroom the night he returned, and it was accompanied by a softening of his features as he smoothed a thumb across your cheekbone. “You know it, and so do I.”
Hope, the thing you’d so desperately avoided for so long in relation to Jake Seresin, began to bloom in the pit of your stomach as soft eyes searched your face. That didn’t sound like a goodbye - in fact, it sounded more like a greeting, a welcome to feelings you’d both avoided breathing aloud - but you needed him to say it.
“Jake.” The murmur of his name was pleading, a desperate request for him to confirm that he shared your feelings, and it made him shift just a little closer.
“I’m in love with you, too,” he confirmed, corner of his mouth kicking up in a soft smile as you exhaled. The admittance felt like a jolt of adrenaline and you were half-certain you’d misheard him. But he doubled down and continued, “I have been for months.”
A warmth spread throughout your limbs, bright and burning hot, as you searched his face for any hint of deceit. Jake wouldn’t lie, not about this, but you were still cautious as you leaned into his touch.
Realistically, you knew that Jake had to have felt something for you. You’d been together for months in everything but name - starting with the first night he slept over - but to hear him confirm he felt the same, that he loved you, too, was almost too much. You’d spent so long telling yourself there was no way, that Jake couldn’t want you in the same way you wanted him, that you needed to hear him say it once more.
“Tell me again.”
Jake smiled, eyes bright even in the dim light filtering in through the window, as he leaned in. “I love you,” he repeated, lips brushing yours and breath fanning across your cheek.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” The question escaped before you could stop it, necessary to ask but not one you’d pictured bringing up so soon. Jake, however, seemed to have expected it.
“We said no strings,” he reminded you, shrugging slightly. “Even without them, we were’t seeing other people so I thought you knew and were happy with where we were. You said everyone knew you were in love with me. They knew I was in love with you, too.”
It was as if his answer should’ve been obvious, known to everyone but the two of you, and you realized that Bradley’s insistence you talk to Jake was coming from a place of knowledge rather than intuition. You were Jake’s girl and there was no reason to question it - it was fact, easily seen by anyone who happened to glance, but easy to miss when you were so caught up in your own head.
Still, you couldn’t help but ask, “Then why have you been such an ass lately? More than usual, anyway.”
Despite the huff of laughter that escaped, Jake’s smile quickly fell into a frown as his thumb brushed your cheekbone. He paused for a moment, seeming to consider his answer, before he sighed. His eyes searched your face, for what you weren’t sure. “This year has been pretty calm,” he began, frown deepening. “I’m usually gone, out of touch for months. I can’t give you what you deserve and I was waiting for you to figure that out. We weren’t seeing other people but there was never a conversation saying we couldn’t.”
“You were jealous?”
A small part of you expected him to deny it - to scoff and insist that Jake Seresin was immune to jealousy - but you could see the hint of insecurity in his eyes. The walls were crumbling in real time, shattering to pieces and baring the depths of his soul, and you couldn’t say you were surprised to see him shrug.
“More like I was just waiting for you to end things, realize a relationship wouldn’t work and move on with someone who could make you happy.”
Jake’s admission told you more than you imagined he intended. Though he’d had his fair share of experience before you, it was clear that very few of his relationships had been more serious than a brief affair. And for all his bravado, his esteem had taken a hit. He saw himself as enough to bed, enough to ogle, but not enough to love and you could feel the ache in your chest grow more prominent as you lifted your own hand to cup his cheek.
The warmth of his skin bled into your palm and you blinked back the sting of tears as Jake turned his head just enough to press a kiss to your palm. “I haven’t even considered anyone else since we met. I know it’s not always going to be easy but it’s worth it. You’re worth it.”
As soon as you finished speaking, Jake surged forward and pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was enough to steal your breath, to express the words he couldn’t quite speak just yet, and you sank into it fully. The seatbelt buckle dug into your skin, uncomfortable but tolerable as you focused on Jake’s touch, and you knew that this was where you were meant to be.
“Come inside,” you urged the moment Jake broke the kiss. Breathless and warm, you knew where the night was headed and didn’t want to lose yourself in the confines of the car.
Jake grinned at your invitation, eyes glittering with an amusement you’d missed, as he pulled away and unbuckled his own seatbelt. “You gonna let me?”
The double entendre was one you’d brought upon yourself but you still rolled your eyes fondly as you headed for the front door. “I hate you,” you called over your shoulder, laughing as he followed you into your home.
“No, you don’t. You love me,” he gloated, countenance brighter than you’d seen it in months as he pushed the door shut and locked it behind him.
“Why, I’ll never know.” 
It was teasing, a taunt that made Jake roll his eyes, but he refused to let it linger as he reached out and gripped your hips. Jake pulled you close, body pressed to yours against the front door, and tipped his head to brush his lips against yours. “Why don’t we put that mouth to better use, sweetheart,” he proposed, smirking as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
Jake gave you no chance to respond. He leaned in and pressed his mouth to yours once more, captured your lips in a searing kiss that lit a flame to the already smoldering embers of arousal settling in the pit of your stomach. His fingers dug into the skin of your hips, pulled you as close as he could manage, and you knew there would be a reminder of his touch left in the morning.
The kiss tasted of mint and a hint of alcohol, achingly familiar in a way you never expected to love, and stole your breath as his hands slipped beneath the hem of your top. As his fingers skated across your skin, calloused and warm, he began to wander backward in the direction of your bedroom.
As many times as you’d done this, making the trek to your room was easy. You managed to avoid causing any damage - to your furniture or yourselves - and only broke the kiss the moment you stepped through the doorway.
Jake was always a sight to behold, golden and beautiful in even the worst moments, but there was something about him in moments like this that made you want nothing more than to observe him. There was a hint of pink dusting the tops of his cheeks, his lips ruddy and kiss swollen, and his hair mussed from your fingers raking through it.
“You can take a picture if you want,” he teased, grinning as he reached for the hem of your top. “Give you something to get off to when I’m away.”
“Fuck off,” you huffed, though it lacked venom entirely as you allowed him to strip the garment and toss it into a corner. “How do you want me?”
“You’re letting me choose? Damn, you must really love me.” Jake laughed at the look you shot him - unimpressed, though it was a struggle to hide your amusement - and knocked your hand away from the button of your jeans. “Hands off. That’s my job.” As the denim fell to the floor, exposing you to his hungry gaze, he whistled lowly. “Fuck, sugar, you get better every time. Lie back for me. I wanna take my time with you.”
With Jake, there was never any shame. He made you feel wanted, desired in a way no one else had, and you reveled in the feeling of his gaze roving your skin. He knew every inch of you, had been privy to this view more times than you could count, but something about the look in his eyes made you feel truly seen. It was as if he were looking at you for the first time all over again and you offered him a sultry smile as you settled onto the bed.
“It’s not fair I’m nearly naked and you’re fully clothed. Lose the jeans, cowboy.” Jake grinned at your order, however teasing it was, and readily shucked off his button-down and jeans. Just as he had, you let out a low whistle and winked when he approached the foot of the bed. “I hate to boost your ego but, Jesus, you’re hot.”
Jake didn’t bother responding. Instead, he climbed onto the bed and settled above you, caging you between his arms and grinning when you shuddered at the feeling of his heated skin meeting yours. He was careful not to settle his full weight onto you, only pressed enough to feel him, and leaned in to ghost kisses along the curve of your jaw.
Warm hands skated across your exposed skin, fingers tracing a path of fire down your arm, across your stomach, along the band of your panties, as he pressed his mouth to the pulse point just below your ear. There was little doubt he could feel the way your heart hammered beneath his lips, racing with every shift of his body, and you could feel his mouth curve into a smirk as his fingers dipped beneath the fabric of your panties.
“What d’you want, sweets? All you gotta do is ask, and I’ll give it to you,” he promised, calloused fingers skating along the top of your mound.
Every twitch of his fingers sent a shiver down your spine, had your heart rate doubling and set your skin alight. He was so close to where you wanted him and you knew that this time, he would give in the moment you asked. As your fingers threaded in his hair, nails raking through the mussed strands, you shifted your hips and sighed.
“Touch me, please.” The plea was soft, whispered in his ear as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, and you could feel the warmth of his breath as he exhaled heavily. When he didn’t move, fingers still against your skin, you whispered the words you knew would set him in motion. “Always make me feel so good,” you praised, one hand falling to his shoulder as your nails lightly scraped across his skin. “No one else could ever compare.”
“Damn right.” The praise, as expected, spurred him on. Jake’s hand slipped lower, fingers gliding through the slick between your thighs, and he groaned at the feeling. “Fuck, so wet, sugar. Just for me?”
“Always for you,” you confirmed, nails digging into his shoulder as his thumb brushed your aching clit. “Only for you.”
A soft sigh escaped as Jake coated his fingers in your slick, mouth pressed to your skin as he nipped at the delicate skin of your throat, and you could feel his cock twitch against your thigh. He knew exactly how to press your buttons, how to push you over the edge with only a few swipes of his fingers or tongue, and you arched into the feeling of his mouth traveling lower as he pressed his fingers into your entrance.
Jake trailed kisses down the column of your throat, across the delicate skin of your collarbone, and winked when he reached your breasts. He nipped at the soft skin, just enough to send a jolt down your spine, before he continued his descent. When he reached the band of your panties, he took the material between his teeth and began to tug, only removing his fingers from your center to rid you of the material.
Before you could whine at the loss, Jake gripped your thighs and parted them just enough to shoulder his way between them. He pressed himself as close as he could, placed one of your thighs over his shoulder, and turned his head to mouth at the soft skin of your thigh as his fingers returned to your center.
Every drag of his fingers was purposeful, slow and deliberate and designed to have you seeing stars, and you could feel the band in the pit of your stomach growing taut as his thumb circled your clit. Those eyes, blown black with lust, lifted to your face as your fingers threaded in his hair once more, and you nearly came from the sight alone.
Having Jake between your thighs, fingers dripping your slick and focus entirely on your pleasure, was more of a power trip than anything you’d ever experienced. Every nerve ending felt like a live wire, jolts of pleasure shooting down your spine as his fingers pressed deeper and deeper, and you could only manage to cry out his name as the first orgasm - of many, you were sure - washed over you.
“There we go, sweets,” he encouraged, breath fanning over your center and making you cry out, “look so fucking pretty when you fall apart for me. Can I have a taste?”
Despite the aftershocks, the tension in your thighs and the difficulty you seemed to have finding the words to convey your pleasure, you used the grip on his hair to tug his face closer to your center. Luckily, you’d been here before - knew one another well enough to speak without words - and Jake took your answer for what it was worth.
Jake’s mouth was sinful and you could feel him smirk at the moan that filled your room as he swiped his tongue through your folds. He returned the noise, groaning at the taste of you, and gripped your thighs to tug you closer. The feeling of his fingers, slick with your release, pressing into your skin coupled with the broad swipes of his tongue, desperate to push you over the edge once more, sent your pulse skyrocketing as you tugged his hair and ground your hips in search of relief.
The pleasure was overwhelming, all-consuming in the most perfect of ways, and you knew that he would spend his night between your thighs, if you let him. His nose brushed your clit with every tilt of his head, tongue lapping at the release you’d already given him, and you could see stars bursting behind your eyelids as he doubled down on his ministrations and returned his fingers to your center.
That second orgasm - truly, a continuation of the first as he hadn’t let you come down - had your back arching from the bed and your fingers gripping Jake’s hair, just a little too tight. He pressed his free hand to your hip, eager to keep you in place, and hummed as he lapped at the release you gave him.
While you knew he would keep going, push you to a third release with his mouth and fingers if you let him, you used your grip on his hair to weakly tug him away as the stimulation began to grow overwhelming. Your thighs shook beneath his hands and your breath came in heaving pants, unable to fill your lungs quick enough, and Jake grinned as he lifted his head.
“Tastes like heaven,” he declared, laughing only when you huffed a breathless noise of amusement. “You good, or you need a minute?”
As Jake shifted, hand on your hip and eyes searching your face in search of an answer, you beckoned him closer. Despite the evidence of your slick coating his mouth and chin, you tugged him in for a kiss and sighed into it as he eagerly returned the embrace.
Against your hip, you could feel the evidence of his arousal - small wet patch blooming against the fabric of his briefs, cock straining and weighing heavily against your skin - and you shifted your hips, just enough to make him groan.
“I’m good,” you assured him, voice hoarse with pleasure and still breathless. “Please, wanna feel you.”
Jake sighed as your hands, lightly trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm, trailed along his torso to the band of his briefs. He shifted, just enough to allow you to nudge them down, before tugging them the rest of the way off and tossing them to join your clothes. 
The weight of his body pressed to yours, skin warm and slick with the lightest sheen of sweat, had you keening as the tip of his cock brushed your clit before nudging your entrance. Jake inhaled sharply at the feeling, fingers digging into the skin of your hip, and only moved when you begged him to.
Jake pressed forward, moving slowly to give you a moment to adjust, and leaned forward to press his forehead to yours when your nails sank into his shoulder once more. “You can take it, sweets,” he encouraged, voice brittle as he sank into you. “Fuck, I know you can take it. Always so good for me.”
Each sensation felt magnified as Jake settled fully inside of you. The weight of his body pressed to yours, the warmth of his breath on your neck, the rough pads of his fingers as they stroked your hipbone to calm you as your muscles twitched with overstimulation, every ridge and vein of his cock as it stretched your walls; everything felt overwhelming in the most beautiful way possible and you couldn’t help the pleading moan that escaped as Jake shifted his hips experimentally.
With your approval, Jake began to move slowly. Each thrust was methodical, deep and searching for that spot that had you seeing stars, and you could see the tension in his jaw as he began to build a satisfying rhythm. With an experimental shift of his hips, the tip of his cock nudged a spot that drew a gasp from you and he grinned triumphantly.
“Right there?” When you moaned, unable to do more than tangle your fingers in his hair and tug him impossibly closer, Jake nipped at the curve of your jaw. “That’s it,” he encouraged, hand snaking between your bodies to rub at your aching clit. “Tell me how it feels, sweets,” he demanded, voice rough in your ear as he shifted his head just enough to catch a glimpse of your face. “Feel good?”
The shattered moan you released, keening and so desperate it made his hips stutter, wasn’t quite enough. It spurred him on, had his hips moving faster, and you cried out at the lewd sound of his hips meeting your skin. “So,” the answer was split by a broken moan, a sharp gasp as he hiked your thigh around his waist for a better angle, and Jake smirked at the way your eyes rolled back.
“So, what,” he pressed, seeking an answer that he knew you were nearly unable to give. “I need an answer, pretty girl. If I don’t get one, you don’t get to come.”
Jake’s threat wasn’t empty - he’d never left you truly hanging but he had taken a particular liking to edging, pulling you to the brink only to push you back until you gave in to his requests - and you whined at the way his hips slowed the longer you took to answer.
“So good,” you cried out, finally able to catch your breath just enough to answer. “Fuck, so good!”
He hummed, pleased by your answer, and began to pick up the pace once more as your hand returned to his hair. Though breathing was difficult enough, oxygen hard to come by even in gasps, you still dragged him in for a kiss that was more a clash of lips and teeth and tongue than a true embrace as your vision began to white around the edges.
Jake could read you better than a well-loved novel, saw the signs before you could, and pressed your hips into the mattress as he sank deeper and deeper. His thumb worked tight circles over your clit, just as desperate for you to fall over the edge as you were, and you could feel his gaze searing into your skin as you came for the third time.
The ringing of your ears nearly drowned out the sound of Jake’s groan, deep and desperate as he snapped his hips a few more times in search of his own release. Every inch of your skin felt too warm and air felt impossible to come by, but you rode out the wave with the help of Jake’s hands skating across your skin.
Jake fell to the mattress at your side, careful to remain close but keep enough distance to make you comfortable, and for a few long moments, the only noise in the room was the ragged sounds of you both attempting to catch your breath.
When you could feel your temperature returning to normal, the tingling in the tips of your fingers and toes leaving, you moved your hand just enough to grab his and intertwine your fingers. “You have such a praise kink,” you teased, still breathless and voice hoarse with use as you turned your head to find Jake already looking at you.
Instead of denying it, Jake laughed and squeezed your hand. “I want to make sure my girl feels good,” he defended, shrugging as best he could. “Somethin’ wrong with that?”
“I keep feeding your ego, but you’ve never left me wanting,” you assured him, rolling your eyes when he smirked. “So, I’m your girl now?”
It was his turn to roll his eyes as he tugged you closer. “You’ve been my girl for a while now,” he reminded you. “Nothing changes except I can tell people to fuck off if they get too close.”
With a sigh, you rested your head on his shoulder and tipped your chin just enough to meet his gaze. As his fingers brushed along the heated skin of your side, warm and threatening to lull you to sleep, you tapped his chest. “I’m yours. The jealousy thing isn’t cute. You can’t lose your shit every time I talk to someone. You’re the only one I want and you have to trust that. You have to trust me.”
“I do,” he promised, gaze softening. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to take my fears out on you. It won’t happen again,” he assured you.
Though there were still questions to be answered and a conversation to be had, you trusted that you were on the same page. And as he brushed at your heated skin, fingers skating across your back and side, you drifted to sleep with the knowledge that you were Jake’s girl, just as you had been all along.
__________________________________________________
Author’s Note: How did we get here. My smut is rusty and I need to practice. But instead I’m working on Hangman angst. Whoops.
Taglist: @lulu-noodles, @holachicos, @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth, @withakindheartx, @ssprayberrythings, @verin93, @totalwitch2, @malindacath, @alexparkxr, @hangmandruigandmav, @alexxavicry, @calicokel, @jaymum, @dracosluvbot, @little-wiseone, @specialk6802, @mandylove1000, @xlynnx07, @julesclues, @archetypesoflife, @oliviah-25, @benhardysdrumstick, @caatheeriinee07, @prettymucheveryothernamewastaken, @yvespoems, @chloereidwayne, @flower-name​
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athynathens · 4 months
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ surprise, princess.
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“If I were to flatten my tongue in this delicate pussy of yours, would you cry or mewl?”
PAIRING. Bakugo Katsuki x You/Reader
ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. This oneshot covers the My Hero Academia AU. In this universe, Bakugo Katsuki is already a pro hero, but you/reader is a popular actress.
SYNOPSIS. As an actress, your job is to entertain and give content through acting. This also includes fanservice which you don’t mind. However, the only boundary you have is that you refuse to make any pornographic scenes with anyone in the movies or shows because you are only bound to your husband. But, some lunatic decided to disregard your boundary and forces you to film such a scene. Just how exactly will your husband react to this?
WARNING. minors dni, 18+ scenes, mature scenes ahead such as rough sex, cunnilingus, blowjobs, deepthroating, fingering, edging, humiliation, dirty talk, roleplay, knife play, dry humping, passionate kissing
AUTHOR’S NOTES. Idk yall, this scene just happened to popped out my head while rewatching bha lol. Besides, it sounds hot and has an intriguing plot too? So why not decide to make my imagination a reality….through writing lmao. Also please don’t attack me with my shitty smut…it’s been a while since I’ve honestly written one so go easy on me :)
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You were beyond irritated, however, you stopped yourself from showing a foul expression in front of the director. This stupid son of a bitch wants you to film a sex scene for the TV series that they are currently filming. His stupid damn reason is fanservice — not that it’s a bad thing since it’s already a norm in this society, but you have boundaries when it comes to fanservices. Your only boundary is that you refuse to film pornographic scenes with anyone because your body is only for your dear husband, Bakugo Katsuki.
“With all due respect, Mr. Director, I already mentioned that I absolutely refused to film such a scene with someone else,” You reminded, praying and asking quietly for help to keep her sanity.
“Oh come on now! Your beauty is such a waste! You should share whatever you have underneath those clothes to everyone, you know?” The director grinned, looking at you up and down, analyzing you like some kind of meat.
Hold back. Hold back. Hold your fucking mouth back. “You flatter me too much. But, I still stand by my words. I refuse to film such a scene. I have my rights when it comes to choices like this,” You firmly said with a smile.
“Don’t give me that bullshit! You wanna talk about choices?! I make your choices! I make all of your choices! I don’t even know why I asked you! When I say you are filming the fucking scene, you are filming the goddamn scene! You understand, bitch?” He screamed, throwing his folder to the ground, causing everyone to flinch, but they resumed their tasks. This is a normal thing in sets so it isn’t anything special, but to think this yelling is about some narcissistic asshole who thinks the world revolves around him.
The director took a deep breath before continuing, “Your scene tomorrow will be about a gladiator from Rome who’s been in love with you so he decided that he wanted to taste you when you go back to your room in the palace. Is that clear?”
Go to hell, you stupid brainless motherfucking— “Crystal Clear.”
The director’s angry expression turned into a satisfying expression. He placed his hands on top of your shoulders. “I knew you were a good girl,” He said darkly, caressing your shoulders. “I’m sorry if I screamed. Although, I wouldn’t even be screaming if you just listened like the good little girl you are, hm?”
Die, you goddamn extra. “Yes, that was my mistake,” You smiled, trying your best to hold back a fucking punch.
The director gave her one last smile then left her to dismiss everyone on set. After that, the rest of the day just became worse for you. You spent the rest of the night just crying and sobbing at the corner of your hotel room while eating ice cream and throwing candy wrappers around. You wanted to call your husband, but you didn’t want to disturb him either since he is probably doing patrols in Japan.
“Stupid fucking director! If I only knew his attitude was like this then I should have never said yes to this fucking series!” You sniffled, getting a tissue to wipe away your tears and snots.
“AND! If only I wasn’t intrigued by the plot then, none of this would even happen! Here I thought, being away from my husband will be a pain! BUT NOOO!! Turns out! This stupid director is the real pain!” You cried out, throwing the tissue on the floor, and stomping your feet on the ground.
The TV series is called The Tyrant. It’s about the middle princess of the Roman Empire falling in love with a tyrant of a king in Greece. And since this is in the Roman/Greek setting, you can say there are a lot of sex scenes, but you’ve managed to get away from them. This is all because of the character you’re playing; your character is the sister of the Tyrant King who has the reputation of being hard on men. And, because she’s the tyrant’s sister, she’s basically untouchable.
The vibrations of your phone caused you to groan in frustration, standing up from the floor as you wobbled towards the bed to get your phone.
You only choked on your saliva to see the name. “WHAT? ITS MEH HUSBAND?!?!” You screamed in shock, losing your balance a bit and fell down to the floor.
You cursed at your stupidity, sitting back up as you fixed yourself and took a deep breath before answering the call.
“Hey, ‘Suki!! Why are you calling??” You asked, acting cheerful.
Katsuki only chuckled. “Am I not allowed to call my wife?”
Your cheeks flushed in redness. “Yes. I MEAN! No! You are allowed! Sorry! It’s just that…isn’t it late morning in Japan? During that time, you are doing patrols.”
For some reason, Katsuki’s husband's instincts activated. He can sense something is wrong with his wife. You may be a good actress, but you sure as hell can’t hide nor act away your true feelings from Katsuki.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry to break the mood, but are you alright?” Katsuki asked straightforwardly. If there is one thing he learned about relationships is when communicating, don’t beat around the fucking bush — explode your way right through it! Katuski’s words, not mine.
Your silence only confirmed Katsuki’s suspicion. “Baby, turn on your camera.”
“I-I don’t think it’s a good id—don’t make me repeat,” You shivered at this rough tone, gulping at the thought that you had to reveal your hideous self to your lover.
You hesitantly turned on the camera to see a sweaty Katsuki in his hero suit. Your cheeks flared a bit after seeing your husband’s hot state, but at the same time, you were relieved to see your husband again after 2 months apart. Katsuki fumed red to see his cute wife in this state. His veins popped out his forehead as his jaw flexed in anger — he needed to know who the hell messed with the wife of Dynamight.
“Who?” Katsuki growled angrily.
You shook your head. “Katsuki, it doesn’t even matter—everything that involves you fucking matters to me! So you better start telling me, who has hurt my wife?”
Your mouth left a sigh, refusing to even look into his intense gaze. It’s a bit funny because if she was actually in front of Katsuki, he wouldn’t have shifted your head to make you look at him. Thank the lord that he isn’t in front of you at the moment, right?
With that, you started to tell your husband everything — from the shitty director to the tantrums you made in your hotel room.
Yet, as you were explaining, Katsuki remembered the day you announced that you refused to make pornographic scenes with anyone, and this boosted his love for you even more. As the years progressed, you managed to become famous without making such a scene. You even became famous for acting in known movies of today such as Attack on Titan, Haikyuu, and others. Katuski was really proud that you made it to the top, proving to those worthless extras that you are more than just a pretty face. But as you grew more popular, the increase of demands to see you in an R-18 movie really got him possessive and jealous.
Everytime he would go on patrols, he would hear comments about his wife’s physical appearance. He heard many inappropriate and vulgar phrases that boiled his blood. But due to his hero reputation, he couldn’t just blast them off as he used to in highschool. Hence, he would often just glare down on them at such intensity. This was his only limit to tell those horny assholes off.
However, he fucking almost lost it when he heard from Izuku that the paparazzi are taking pictures of his own wife inappropriately. Of course he took action with this through court, but it wasn’t enough to soothe his frustration.
He gets super annoyed by the fact these extras think that they have a chance with you. He gets really pissed with men who ask him about his wife as if he wasn’t the husband. He gets so frustrated when girls clung up to him when they all know he’s fucking taken. He gets truly angry when people don’t know their fucking place.
“What should I do, ‘Suki?” Katuski’s train of thoughts were interrupted by your sweet voice.
The blond paused for a moment, analyzing his wife’s reactions, expressions, movements. With that, he came up with the only conclusion that will help his wife and satisfy his frustration with those pathetic extras going after his wife.
“Go to set tomorrow. I’ll deal with the problem myself,” Katsuki declared evidently, confusing you literally with what he's planning.
“Okay? Sure? But tell me what you are going to do!! So we can be on the same page!!” You asked, hoping he will answer your question.
“Just so what you always do, bunny,” Katsuki grinned.
“Act”
Your head tilted to the side, frowning in confusion as you tried to ask more questions on what’s his alibi. But he proceeded to say his goodnight and love yous before ending the call. Once again, you had the biggest “huh” plastered on your face, and the question only repeats in your head…
— what’s gonna happen tomorrow?
The next day came like a fucking flash, and you did exactly what your husband asked you to do. However, as soon as you got there, the staff just pushed you to the make-up room to prepare you. As the makeup is being done, you read the script, and you swear to Katsuki’s abs, you need to bleach your eyes with holy water. You wanted to choke in disgust with this unholy script. It’s kinda ironic given that she has done this before but only with her husband! Not with some random extra!
The staff now motioned you to dress up for the shoot. Right now, you’re really expecting that Katsuki will barge in the shooting scene and blast the director to bits. He used to do something as violent as that during your highschool days, but he stopped now that he’s a pro hero.
You stare at the mirror to see you are in your white long dress with a cape behind you, however, your back is seen by everyone. Your hair is styled with curls and has the golden leaf tiara on your head with some bangs on the front. You look beautiful, but to think you would show this beauty to someone who’s not your husband. Your eyes quivered, wanting to cry at that thought, but you held back.
You began to think, “I thought ‘Suki will do something?”
A knock on the door caught your attention, diverting your eyes to the door to see the staff asking you to take position on set. The staff also mentioned, to lift up your mood, that the director looks very pale for some reason. The staff joked that he probably met a monster or something. You giggled at the staff’s words, and it helped lift up your mood a bit.
After minutes of last minute touches with the settings and make up. Every actor went to their places as cameras began to start rolling in…
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
ACTION!
“Oh by the Gods! That impudent brother of mine will never learn how to treat a lady right! Tell me Zeus! What did my brother do in his past life to bear such attitude?” You rubbed the temples of your nose as you walked through the corridors of this magnificent hall of the Roman Empire.
“Brother, I did not spend 6 months in this empire of unholiness for you to lose your lover in one sitting…” You muttered quietly, disappointed at how your dear brother treated the middle princess harshly.
“Your highness!” An attendant screamed.
You turned your head to see your personal secretary running to you with loads of papers. “What’s wrong? What has my absurd brother done again?”
The attendant let out a sweat. “You are right that it is your brother, my princess, but it’s more than that,” The latter hyperventilated. “It turns out that your mother threatens your brother to leave his lover at once or else Rome will face the consequences. I even heard that it was ordered by you.”
You let out a small growl, veins popping though your forehead. “This is what mother wants. A war between Greek and Rome for power and a war between siblings for the throne. She knows that I am the only one who is capable of stopping my brother, hence why she is using that advantage.”
“That foul ungrateful woman!” The attendant cursed.
“Indeed she is. Rest assured that I will work on a solution, but now I must return to my chambers to rest for today was tiring,” You said, gesturing to her room with her head.
“Of course, princess. Have a good rest.”
With that, you exited the scene to return to your resting chambers. Your room is an open area with the great columns surrounding the room. You were smart enough to choose a room with a great valley view and is not easily peaked through by anyone. In the middle of the room is a big circular sunken bathtub with rose petals. Your bed is found at the side with large tables filled with papers and books. You only sighed tiredly, walking to your table as you removed the tiara in your head.
That’s when you heard the doors opening.
“Perfect timing! Please tell the rest of the maids to prepare my bathing tools. I will be bathing myself today also so—” You gasped loudly when a pair of large but familiar hands grabbed your tits from behind.
Oh, you are so going to kill the actor for touching you vulgarly.
But before you can even react, those hands immediately pull your nipples, causing you to grit your teeth as you arch your back. A rough arm circled around your waist as the other hand squeezed your one tit with all his might. You gasped at this familiar sensation. This only caused you to think because this familiar sensation is only given to you by your husband…
…but there’s no way that Bakugo Katsuki is in Rome?
That’s when you heard a familiar dark chuckle. “My, oh my, princess.” Your eyes quivered at that familiar rough tone. His familiar hands grabbed both your tits once more, squeezing it but also spreading them apart, causing you to whimper.
“Who would have thought, hm?” You quivered violently as your head looked back to see a familiar blond hair. “That the great warrior princess of Greece would make such an erotic sound?”
You turned pale, freezing on the spot to see your one and only husband behind you — touching, staring, groping you.
“H-How are you he—” A large mouth held your jaw tightly, covering your mouth. Your body hair stood up at this sensation, as you stared at his intense and lustful gaze.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, princess. Don’t ask stupid questions. It’s better to worry about what's happening in front of you now.” You got caught off guard with what he said, realizing that he’s indirectly telling you to continue acting, and asking for questions is for later.
Shit! What was my line? BKBJWOWP!?! Damn you, Katsuki for being too hot! “You insolent peasant! How dare you touch someone superior to you!” You managed to speak out, despite the pleasure you are receiving from your husband.
“Superior?” He lets out a laugh, bending you with his bulky chest. “I believe that it is, I..” He whispered to your ear, fondling your tits more.
“…am superior to you.” He growled inhumanly, pushing you towards your desk. You attempted to get up, but he pinned you harder to the desk. This only brought pain to your pelvic bone and breast. Bakugo looked down to lick his lips, witnessing your struggles.
He grabbed his dagger from his sandals, spinning it around before landing the tip in your back. You shuddered below him, feeling the sharp object traced your exposed back. “Fuck, princess. Did you have any idea how much this outfit of yours arouses me? Your fucking exposed skin is asking to be touched.”
“T-That wasn’t even my intention to do—” You gasped loudly when he traced the dagger lower, circling it as he placed a bit more pressure.
“Don’t lie to me, princess. Bet you’ve been wanting men to fuck you right there? Maybe that’s the reason why you’ve been wearing such clothes…” He grinned, putting the dagger down. You immediately shook your head to respond to his question, but he gripped your soft hips, pulling them closer to his hard bulge. Your eyes went wide to feel how hard and big he is.
You turned your head to the side with the support of your shaking arms to see the huge tip poking up your ass cheeks. “Yeah, that’s right. Fucking see how hard you made me,” Katsuki licked his lips with such tantalization.
He spread your asscheeks apart to make room for the rest of his cock. You tried to grip something — anything — for support, and you ended up gripping a book. Katsuki threw his head back, feeling his cock wrapped around your warm asscheeks. “Fuckkkk, princess. This is way better than my fantasies.”
You flinched violently under him, which Katsuki noticed. His expression turned into a twisted expression, grinning psychotically at your reaction. He bent down till his bare chest touched your exposed back, he traced your stomach to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it.
He brought his head closer to your ear and whispered, “Did you like the idea of me having fantasies about you, hm?”
You were about to respond when he spoke again. “I fantasize about you every night. My cock throbs for you, princess. I would relieve myself almost everyday, trying to imagine what your walls would feel around me. I often think of ways on how to ravish your body in different positions. My mouth yearns for the taste of your exquisite pussy. Tell me, princess. If I were to flatten my tongue in this delicate pussy of yours, would you cry or mewl?”
“I-I don’t know…” You muttered softly, gripping whatever you are holding tighter.
Katsuki’s eyes looked at the wall near your bed. He grinned sinfully, already having an idea. “Let’s find out, shall we?”
He lifted you up with ease, pushing your back towards the wall as he held you tight and high. He held you up so high that you could see your entire room. The blond did not waste the time to fumble across your dress, ripping the undergarments and immediately dived down. You didn’t even have time to react, but you felt a warm sensation against your pussy.
“EEK!” You gasped, throwing your head against the wall, back arching with your teeth gritted and eyes wide.
“W-Wait!” You pleaded, but he flattened his hot tongue on your pussy harshly, not wasting any juices coming out. He continued to drag his tongue all over your pussy, tasting every single corner. You pussy twitched violently when he bit your clitoris, stimulating more juices to come out. Then, he wrapped his arms around your thighs till his hands met your pussy. He used his hands to toy with your clitoris as he sucked harder.
Your eyes went wide as you immediately held his blond hair. You instinctively pushed his head closer to your pussy. He flicked, rubbed, pinched your clitoris, causing you to jump in euphoria, as you mewl louder and louder.
That’s when you felt something warm go inside you. You screamed violently, gripping his hair tighter. His tongue started to wiggle inside you, skilfully tasting you. Your head kept going side to side, not knowing what to even do. Soon, you shivered in ecstasy which caused you to lean your upper body forward. His tongue curled, hitting a specific spot which stimulated you to roll your eyes back.
“P-Please..! S-Something’s c-coming!” You whimpered, hoping for a release soon, but that’s when he pulled away. This made you sob literally.
“W-Why…” You asked, still holding his hair. “W-Why did you stop…?”
Katsuki looked up to only shiver at the state of his wife; messy hair, sweating body, dress crumbled, eyes dilated with tears, mouth dripping with saliva. Holy fuck, his cock couldn’t possibly get harder than before. It’s been 2 whole painful months since they’ve had sex. Katsuki missed this look on your fucking face, and he’s been wanting to see more.
“Now, now, now, sweetheart. It isn’t fair that you are the only one who gets all the fun. As the princess, don’t you think it’s your duty to tend to your subjects?” Katsuki asked with a small smirk, putting you down on the ground. Your only reaction to that is stumbling on your feet. You had to hold him for support.
“I-I don’t know how to s-suck your t-thing…” You confessed shyly.
He only chuckled. “Don’t worry, princess. I got you,” He cockily said with a wink. He then dragged you to the side of your bed, and he pushed down his clothing on his lower region. You only watched, while on your knees, how his muscles flexed at every movement he does. His veins would pop out, scaring you a bit that it might pop. And oh fuck his pecs, they are fucking big and hot.
“Careful sweetheart. I might be eaten alive by your eyes,” He teased, removing the last armor attached on his body. Then, he sat down on the bed with his legs wide open, revealing his humongous cock. Hot damn his cock slapped your face as he sat down on the bed. You licked your lips as you analyzed his cock; it was infact fucking huge and veiny. His tip was already leaking as it would twitch from time to time.
“Princess.” You flinched with his husky tone.
“I am not a patient person…” He reminded, rubbing his thumb across your lips.
He stared down at your mouth sensually “I want this…” His thumb traced your lips “…small mouth of yours filled with my cock.”
He used his thumb to open your mouth wider. “Go on, princess.” He brought his cock closer to your face.
“Wrap those pretty lips around my cock.”
You licked his shaft slowly, tracing your tongue up and down. Next, you wrapped your hands around his shaft, pumping it slowly as you continued to lick areas of his cock. Katsuki threw his head back, leaning backwards as he held his body weight with his arms. He lets out a small grumble when he feels his tip being engulfed by your warm mouth. His hips stuttered, feeling his tip being sucked on harder. He gripped the sheets as his feet curled in ecstasy.
Feeling a bit braver, you began to take his cock deeper in your mouth, causing Katsuki to growl, “Damn, baby girl. Your mouth feels so fucking good.”
The sudden praise ignited something within you, so you began to suck on his cock harder as you bobbed your head back and forth. Katuski screamed in bliss, holding onto your head tightly with one hand as he began snapping his hips into your mouth. Your eyes went wide at the sudden action, tears started to form once more in your eyes.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He grunted heavily, holding your head with both of his hands, tangling your hair with his fingertips as he thrusted violently inside your mouth. Your eyes rolled back at this new sensation, his cock hitting the back of your throat which made you gag a lot.
Katsuki laughed at the state you’re at. “Yeah. That’s right!” He thrust a bit harder. “Gag on my cock, sweetheart.”
His heavy balls slapped your chin violently, inhaling that muscular gladiator scent of his. Tears began to drop from your eyes as he continued to engulf your mouth.
“Shit! Where did all your pride go, princess? Was that all just an act to rile me up?” He laughed, clenching his jaw after feeling a familiar sensation riling up.
With all of his strength, he pulled away from your mouth as he shivered strongly at the lost sensation. Meanwhile, you cough violently as you sniffle through your nose. You tried to regain the breath you’d lost while sucking his dick. While doing so, you felt warm hands cupping your cheeks.
You looked up to see Katsuki’s eyes full of love and desire. He held you higher, signaling you to stand up from the ground. After you stood up, you two finally crashed into each other’s lips. He groaned loudly, feeling the wave of happiness surrounding him after feeling his wife’s lips again. His hands traveled down his wife’s back to her ass, giving it a tight squeeze. You moaned in his mouth as you continued to passionately engulf each other’s mouths.
Due to the aggressive kissing, the two of you walked back slowly towards the bed. Katsuki sat down first, not even separating his lips from you. His hands began to slide down the strap of your dress, attempting to feel more of your skin. You brought your dress up and sat down on his lap, purposely lining the folds of your pussy on the skin of cock. The blond shivered, feeling how wet you were so he gripped your waist to pull you closer and pressed you more down his cock.
Your hands trace up his muscular shoulders and then to the back of his hair, gripping it tightly. Subconsciously, you began to rock your hips against his hard cock. Katsuki pulled back to moan at the feeling. This immediately made you rock your hips in a steady phase while holding the back of his hair.
“I’ll admit, Gladiator,” You spoke, shocking Katsuki a bit. “You have the balls to even enter the room of the sister of the Tyrant King.”
You giggled, “That’s why I wanna be honest with you, lover boy,” You whispered in his ear.
“The d-day I entered the Colosseum! You were the only gladiator that caught my attention! E-Everytime I would go to the Colosseum, I would often l-look for y-you! I also f-fantasize a-about you!” You moaned, coating his cock with your juices.
“I w-would often p-play with m-myself, t-thinking about h-how your cock would s-shape my insides! I want—fuck!—that to happen!” You whimpered, tears forming on your eyes as you try to reach for your release, thus rocking your hips faster and faster.
Katsuki’s eyes turned animalistic, holding your hips in place. You whined that your husband stopped you once again. “W-Why—Are you sure?” He asked, gripping your hips tighter.
Despite being all messed up, you knew those eyes of his; he’s asking for confirmation if it’s alright to bury his cock inside you right now.
You nodded violently. “I-I want you…! P-Please give me e-everything!”
Katsuki snapped.
“ALRIGHT, EXTRAS! STOP THE CAMERAS! EVERYONE OUT!” He roared loudly, scaring the staff and making you remember that they were filming a scene.
“B-But, Mr. B-Bakugo—didn’t you hear a word I said, you dumbfuck?” He growled one more time, interrupting the director who almost fainted in fear.
“Y-You heard the pro hero! EVERYONE! SCATTER!” The director yelled, throwing his papers in the air and ran away. Every staff laughed at this, relieved that someone has finally put that narcissistic director in his place.
You genuinely forgot that you were filming for a show, and it embarrased you a bit to show this side of yours to the staff and your co-stars. You only placed your head on Katsuki’s shoulders which made him chuckle. The blond caressed your back, comforting you with sweet words and pet names. From time to time, you would lift your head up to see if they left, but you only saw your staff giggling in excitement as your co-stars gave you a teasing smile and thumbs up. After minutes of waiting, they are finally done. They didn’t hesitate to run away to give them the privacy they needed.
With that, Katsuki lets out a loud laughter which causes you to only hit his shoulder. “Damn it, Katsuki! Why did you show up like this? You couldn’t have told me!”
“Sorry, princess,” He grinned, adding a tone with the pet name. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
You only sulked, hitting his shoulders again which made him laugh. After laughing, Katsuki brought his fingers closer to your face, removing the hair that covers your beauty. “I’ve missed you, [name],” He smiled, caressing your cheeks.
“I’ve missed you too” You shyly confirmed, leaning your head towards his hand.
“Wanna continue this roleplay, sweetheart?” He asked, completely destroying the romantic tension with his horniness.
You giggled, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “You’re into roleplay, Katsuki?” You asked, rocking your hips slowly to tease.
Katsuki chuckled, slapping your ass playfully. “Didn’t consider it first, but now I might consider it because holy fuck, you look so damn hot acting.”
You blushed with his words. “Well, I thought the same. You look really hot acting as a gladiator,” You admitted, arching your back subconsciously.
Katsuki smirked, pulling the ends of your hair down which caused you to look up. “Is that a yes, princess?”
You returned the smirk. “Show me what you’ve got, Gladiator.”
Katsuki’s eyes quivered in lust, bringing his hands on his wife’s chest to rip out the cloth. The action made your breast bounce violently, making you yelp in surprise. Before you can even react, his mouth dove down to your tits as he sucked them with all his might. He used his other hand to press your nipple down to your breast, causing you to hiccup at the action.
“‘Suki… not too r-rough..!” You pleaded, attempting to pull his mouth away from your sensitive breast.
“Oi,” He growled, grabbing your jaw roughly and stared at you with intense eyes. This psychotic-like gaze made you pale in sweat. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, princess.”
“If I want to do something to you, you will fucking accept it,” The hand on your jaw traced down your breast.
“Meaning, if I want this…” He stopped his hand on your stomach. “Filled with my seed, then it will be filled with my fucking seed.”
Your eyes went wide, standing up from his lap as you attempted to run away from this mad man. Your heart dropped when you felt yourself being pushed roughly onto the bed. You fell by your side as you bounced a bit. Your teary eyes opened to see that the gladiator is on top of you.
“There’s no use of running away, princess,” He chuckled, getting the ends of your hair.
“And even if you run, I will find you, sweetheart,” His lips kissed the ends of your hair as he locked his lustful and intense gaze on your soul.
Katsuki licked his lips, seeing how you were displayed below him. Your eyes are dilated with tears with your cheeks red as lips are puffy. The dress is now torned apart, leaving only the lower skirt; this new look on you only emphasized how erotic you look. Your thighs locked together, staring at him with such a look. And fucking hell your breast, they were smuddered with his salvia and bites.
He wanted — no wait — he craved more.
With that, he grabbed his throbbing cock, giving it a few pumps. Then, he aligned it on your vagina area. That’s when you shot your head up, feeling his twitching tip at your entrance.
“W-Wait! G-Give me a momen—” You screamed when he rammed everything in. Your entire body was trembling violently with your back arched and eyes rolled back. Katsuki almost came when he felt the smooth walls of his wife again. He felt his hips twitching, almost releasing his seed inside of her.
You tried to grab something, anything, but your hands just kept thrashing around.
Katsuki licked his lips, combing his hair back. “You feel this, princess?” He asked, tracing to your abdominal, touching the place where he can feel the tip of his cock.
He bent down and whispered, “Your tight cunt managed to take all of me.”
He rolled his hips slowly and gently. “Ya feel that?” He smirked, pressing down your abdomen which stimulated something inside you.
You only replied with a loud whimper. “W-WAIT! D-Don’t do that!” You begged, attempting to remove his hands. Katsuki only scoffed, pressing his hand down further. This action made you come as eyes rolled back with back arched.
This made the blond left with utter shock. You came, and he hasn’t done anything to you just yet. Although he flinched as soon as he felt your walls tightening, and this made him laugh out loud. Your teary eyes only stared at him with shock, getting scared with what’s going to happen.
Katsuki then wrapped his hands around your neck, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’ll be damned, princess. You creamed my dick pretty damn good.”
A tear fell down from the side of your eye in embarrassment, attempting to hide your face. “D-Don’t say t-that…”
Katsuki’s eyebrow arched. “That what? The warrior princess creamed a mere gladiator’s cock?” He gave you one hard thrust.
“It’s too late to have regrets, sweetheart because tonight’s about ravishing my very own ambrosia,” He declared lustfully.
He pulled out his cock, leaving the tip only to only slam everything back inside you harshly. You choked a sob, your tears falling down your eyes at the feeling. He continued to rock his hips in a rough matter, only leaving his fat tip inside then slamming back inside you. Fucking hell, you can feel the bed creaking like crazy from the brutal force Katuski’s giving you.
Katuski indeed fucks you like you are his last ambrosia ever. His hips continued to abuse your pelvis with his brutal force, causing you to scream loudly at the pain and pleasure. His hands gripped both of your tits, holding it tightly as he threw his head back at this feeling. You can only hold his wrists, attempting to remove his hands away from your sensitive breasts.
“Shit, shit, shit…!” He gasped, shaking in pleasure as he pressed his finger down your nipples.
Your eyes rolled back, arching your back as you came again violently.
Katsuki laughed darkly. “Yeah, that’ fucking right. Cream on my cock, princess!”
You jolted when he actually pulled out, causing you to whine a bit at the lost feeling. But your eyes went wide when he flipped you over like a ragdoll. You are now on your knees with your back arched. His hands fumbled your lower skirt, ripping it to pieces, making your entire body presented to him. He did not waste time and shoved everything back inside harshly, causing your body to move forward.
Your pupils shrunk in shock, feeling his cock even more in this position. You can properly see how his cock harshly pushes inside you — holy fuck, you can feel his pre-cum too. He bent down, colliding his chest to your back as he traced his hand to your pussy while the other was wrapped around your neck.
You choked once again, feeling yourself being suffocated with his hands while shuddering at his fingers stimulating your abused pussy. He kept rubbing it harshly while assaulting your pussy with his cock. In impulse, you hold his hand that’s choking you as more tears flow down more.
“S-Slow down, p-please..!” You begged, feeling yourself too stimulated already.
“Go faster? You got it, sweetheart,” He grinned, inserting a finger inside your pussy as he rammed his cock inside you even faster and harder.
You screamed. Your tits violently moving up and down at the rough pace, your thighs shaking again as you can feel something building up again. You know it’s coming — you fucking know it. There’s no way in hell you can hold this back.
“Hold it! Hold it! Fucking hold it!” He slapped your ass, grabbing both of your arms, holding them together behind your back.
“Disobey, and watch me edge you over and over again,” He roughly grunted, pushing his hips forward brutally.
You can only whine in return, forcing yourself to hold it in, no matter how hard and painful that can be. To help you hold your orgasm, you hold the sheets till your knuckles turn white. Your toes curl till you can’t even feel them anymore.
Katsuki grumbled, “Fuck! Here it is!” He gripped your hips tighter, pounding faster and rougher. He can see how your skin bounces back and forth from every thrust he makes. He subconsciously licked his lips at this alluring sight. Katsuki continued to use your hips at a rapid speed, throwing his head back in ecstasy.
You felt his hips stutter, signaling you he was about to release. Katsuki chuckled, feeling your soft walls getting tighter, “You better cum with me, Princess.”
And you did.
You came in unison with your husband.
Tears fell down your eyes, pupils rolled back as your hips stuttered at the feeling of the hard orgasm from your husband. His thick and hot cum invaded your insides, causing you to shiver in delight. You gasped in shock, feeling your husband still hard. Your head shook in disbelief, knowing what’s going to happen next.
“‘Suki, a-are you gonna pull out?” You asked.
Katsuki chuckled, “You want me to pull out?” He grinned, pulling your ass cheeks apart, glimpsing your wet juices and mixed cum dripping from your pussy.
He rocked his hips slowly, “We ain’t even finished yet, princess.”
Oh, sweet mother of—
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝙣𝙤 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩.
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rmsrkive · 4 months
Text
unconditionally (05) — jung hoseok
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summary: for the past three, almost four years, it has only been you and your twins after having been abandoned by your ex-boyfriend. you expected it to remain that way for the rest of your lives until one day you accidentally run into one of his bandmates at the park
pairings: ex-boyfriend/baby daddy!hoseok x f. reader (exes to lovers)
warnings: none
a/n: sorry for the delay in uploading! finals took up all of my time and energy for the past month :,) this is definitely not the best chapter i’ve written so please have low expectations
rating: pg-13
word count: 5637
taglist: @darkphoenix5037 @mushroom-main @partyparty-yah @persnyako @violetpenguinkris @loveforred @thedarkeside @coffeewanderer @inlovewithallmusic @deejay08 @cryinginmyroomsposts @ilikekpop-c @aloverga @as-hs-blog @bangtanlovesk @mintchocoss @hopeonysus @smoltika @jjkluver7 @earth2joon @ayoo-bangtan @honsoolgloss @nochuel @addictedtohobi @renoirgoh @btsfluffsworld @scuzmunkie @bellamuerte1987 @strawbi-reads @secfir @missmischief1408 @savage-aespa @anqelws @mixedfandxms
masterlist
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Maybe you were a narcissistic self-centered person but sometimes you felt like the universe was out to get you, that it was targeting specifically you in hopes of making you miserable. You first came to this conclusion after Hoseok broke up with you and left you to have two children all on your own. You came to this conclusion again after your parents disowned you for being pregnant with Hoseok's children. They always hated Hoseok and his field of work so it was no surprise to you that they cut you out of their lives after you broke the news to them that you were a single mother. Add carrying twins and working for nine months, giving birth alone, spending sleepless nights for months on end, randomly meeting Jungkook, running into his bandmates in a parking garage, Hoseok confronting you at your cafe and threatening to take you to court, and Seokjin texting you out of the blue into the mix and surely, everybody would come to the same conclusion that the universe was out to get you.
You were set up for failure since the start.
"Oh, you've got to be joking." You mumbled under your breath, staring at the message that sat on your phone screen.
The texts seemed to be mocking you as you reread what Seokjin said over and over again. It had been over twelve hours since you received the messages yet you were scared to even think of a response. You weren't entirely sure whether you believed his words or not but he seemed quite sincere in his apology. You debated on telling Eunae what was happening but knew she would tell you just to block him and quite frankly, you didn't know if you wanted to do that.
"Eomma, up."
Jaehee shook your arm, effectively shaking you of your thoughts as well as she stared up at you with doe eyes. You stared down at her, still unable to get over the fact that she was Hoseok's twin. Sometimes it was difficult for you to look at her when she resembled your ex-boyfriend so much but her stark contrast in personality reminded you that they weren't all that similar. You smiled at her before scooping her up in your arms. She immediately wrapped her arms around your neck to hold onto your hair as she rested her chin on your shoulder. Grabbing onto your hair was an attachment she had since she was born; it was as if holding onto it gave her a sense of security despite already being wrapped up tightly in your arms.
"Why are you up so early, baby?" You cooed, brushing her hair with your hand gently.
She responded with a deep sigh, making you hold in a laugh that was on the verge of eruption.
"You're three, what's got you sighing like a forty-year-old office worker with a 9-5 job?" You asked.
Jaehee giggled as if she understood what you were saying, turning her head to press her cheek against your shoulder instead. You took a seat at the dining table with her in your arms, rocking side to side gently. The two of you basked in the sunlight that was shining through your kitchen window, enjoying the warmth it was providing. You were sure Jaehee fell back asleep and was ready to tuck her back into bed when her tiny voice startled you.
"Eomma?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Do I have an appa?"
"What?"
You froze at the unexpected question, shocked that Jaehee even understood the concept that she and Jaeyoung were supposed to have two parents. They had been too young in the past to realize you were the only one raising them and that they were fatherless but you knew they would ask about Hoseok one day. What you didn't know was how soon they would catch on and how quickly they would ask you why they didn't have a father. You supposed you should've better prepared yourself for this moment as children were much more perceptive than you realized but you couldn't have predicted that Jaehee would ask the whereabouts of her father at seven in the morning.
"Do I have an appa? Everybody at daycare has appa. What about me and Jae-Jae?"
Jaehee stared at you with big and round eyes, demanding an explanation. You gulped, scared that you were going to say the wrong thing before you cleared your throat.
"Appa is busy working right now. He's far away but he misses you and Jaeyoungie so much." You hoped the big smile on your face would convince her and that the conversation would be dropped.
Much to your dismay, however, Jaehee kept asking questions. "Can I see appa? Or can appa come home?"
Your stomach twisted at the question and you felt your heart dropping. You shook your head slowly, tears burning your eyes upon seeing the disappointment that filled her eyes. She frowned but nodded her head nonetheless.
"We can go see appa when he's not busy." You lied, plastering another smile on your face. "I'll ask him when we can go visit him, okay?"
"Okay!" Jaehee clapped her hands eagerly. "I'm hungry."
You turned on Pororo for her while you made her breakfast, allowing yourself to reflect on the conversation you just had with her. It didn't occur to you that the twins would notice the other kids at their daycare being dropped off and/or picked up by both of their parents daily. Whenever you went to pick them up, they were both so engrossed in playing with their friends that you assumed they never noticed who was coming to pick up the other children. It was your fault for not realizing exactly how perceptive they were and also your fault for not sitting them down earlier to talk about Hoseok.
For the rest of the morning, you felt sick and couldn't take your mind off of the conversation with Jaehee. You mentally cursed Hoseok for leaving you in such a difficult situation; he was able to live a comfortable life for the past four years, making his name known globally while remaining oblivious to the struggles you had to face while raising the twins. Why did it have to be you who had to explain why Jaehee and Jaeyoung grew up in a single-parent household? How was it fair that he lived a wonderful life watching his career skyrocket while you were struggling to make ends meet with two children?
You were always grateful and blessed to have Jaehee and Jaeyoung in your life. Even after the countless problems you faced since your pregnancy, you would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant that they would be your children; they were truly the best thing that ever happened to you despite the circumstances you were under. But sometimes you couldn't help but feel resentment toward Hoseok for putting you in a helpless situation while he remained a deadbeat dad.
Once you dropped them off at daycare, you finally opened the message that Seokjin sent you the night before. You avoided opening it after reading it from your notifications but now you felt like it was your obligation to reply. Making amends with Seokjin was the first step to rebuilding your relationship with Hoseok. As much as you didn't want him back in your life, you also didn't want to deprive the twins of their father, especially since they were getting older. Even if Hoseok didn't deserve to be back in your life.
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Seokjin shrieked in delight as your name popped up on his phone screen. He repeatedly kissed the device, ready to cry tears of joy over the fact that you replied to his messages. He got weird looks from the other HYBE artists, who were trying to work out in the gym in peace but he ignored them. None of them said a word, deciding that pretending as if they didn't see their senior act like a complete fool was the best thing to do.
Hi Seokjin-ssi, thank you for reaching out to me. I really appreciate that you want to take time out of your busy schedule to meet up. I think it would be best if I try to match your free time since you are considerably busier than I am. Please let me know when you are free and I will adjust my time accordingly
Quite honestly, it wasn't the response Seokjin hoped for. Of course, he was joyful that you even replied to him and agreed to meet in the first place but the way you were treating him like a business partner pricked at his heart. You didn't even have to call him 'Seokjin-ssi'!
Regardless, he quickly answered your text, hastily spewing out random days and times that he may be available within the next week. He wasn't entirely sure if all the times he listed were in his actual free time but he was willing to cancel or reschedule anything if it meant that he could see you. You replied with a few dates, asking him to choose which one was the best for him.
"What's got you so excited, hyung?"
Seokjin looked up to see Jungkook at the gym entrance, staring at him weirdly. The older man straightened up, realizing he was blocking the way, and quickly stepped aside. He cleared his throat, smiling brightly. "Hi, Jungkookie. Y/N responded to my text."
"What? Really?"
Of course, Jungkook was the only other person besides Yoongi who knew about Seokjin reaching out to you. The maknae was more eager than either of his hyungs and constantly pestered Seokjin about it regularly. He snatched Seokjin’s phone much to the protest of the eldest, easily pushing him back with one hand. He began typing away much to the latter’s dismay, his squawking shrieks disturbing the other artists. By now, most of their juniors were watching them curiously, some amused by the situation while others were annoyed.
“Give me my phone back, Jeon Jungkook!” Seokjin screeched, smacking him harshly in the shoulder.
Jungkook ignored his hyung and quickly typed out a response, before tossing the phone back to Seokjin. "I did the hard work for you, you're welcome."
Seokjin shot him a deadly glare, snatching his phone away with a scoff. "I don't need you to do the 'hard work' for me, you brat. I already had a response planned out for when she answered me!"
"It was probably something overly pushy. You get like that when you're excited." Jungkook shrugged. "Did you know that?"
Instead of answering him, Seokjin looked down at his phone to see what the maknae sent. He supposed he couldn't be angry because the message wasn't all that bad. It was polite, respectful, and went straight to the point. The only issue was that Jungkook scheduled to meet up with you at the same time he planned to meet his brother and his nephew. Perhaps Seokjin should have been more careful about which dates he picked because one thing he was reluctant about was missing any opportunity to see his nephew. Jungkook happened to pick the one day where both he and his brother were available to meet up for dinner. Seokjin mentally cursed Jungkook before pulling up Seokjung's phone number, ready to apologize profusely for dipping last minute. As much as he loved his brother and nephew, talking to you and apologizing was much more important than grabbing lunch with them. Seokjung would understand, wouldn't he?
"Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook."
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You felt like throwing up. As you pulled down the blinds of your cafe to give you and Seokjin some privacy from prying eyes, you could feel your nerves bubbling up inside of you. The stick of mint gum you popped in your mouth in hopes that the mint would ease your nausea did nothing. Even as he walked into the cafe with a wide smile on his face and a handful of gifts for you and the twins, you couldn't find your nerves easing in any sort of way. You requested that Seokjin meet at your cafe just in case somebody caught a photo of you talking over dinner and kickstarted rumors. The last thing you needed was for the media and Bangtan's fans to rip you apart for even breathing the same air as the Kim Seokjin. Maybe asking him to enter through the back door was a bit much but you would rather be safe than sorry.
"I hope you still like mulhoe." You set down a bowl in front of him, alongside other banchan that you think would go well with the cold fish soup.
You never intended to cook a full meal for Seokjin and planned on having takeout but the only way you could settle your nerves the slightest bit was by cooking. Now your feet were swollen and your hands hurt for a man you had ill feeling towards.
"Of course, I love mulhoe. It's still my favorite." He looked up at you with a smile before bowing his head. "Thanks, Y/N. You didn't have to go out of your way to make this for me."
"Oh trust me, I didn't want to." You mumbled underneath your breath.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
The two of you ate in silence, occasionally making small talk with Seokjin asking you questions. It was without a doubt awkward considering the circumstances that your friendship ended under but nonetheless, Seokjin was happy to be in your presence again. Truthfully, he had been thinking about you a lot recently and heavily considered reaching out to you behind Hoseok's back. Luckily, Jungkook made things far more easier by taking Bam on a walk to a park where he usually never went to.
"Can I be honest with you?" Seokjin asked.
You looked up from your bowl of mulhoe with wide eyes, feeling the cold broth run down your chin. You quickly wiped yourself off with a napkin before asking, "Out of nowhere?"
"I think it's best if we address the elephant in the room."
"Go on."
Seokjin pressed his lips together, his eyes flitting back and forth nervously as he tried to string together a coherent sentence. He was bracing himself for the rejection he was inevitably going to face which made talking about your breakup with Hoseok all the more difficult.
"I just want you to know that I never believed that you cheated on Hoseok and never sided with him after the breakup. I always had a feeling he was acting rashly upon finding out about your pregnancy and was speaking out of anger but I didn't do anything about it because he's my best friend. It wasn't right of me to side with him and cut you off so abruptly but I want you to know that I never wanted to. It was a messy situation and I definitely should have stood up for you so things could have turned out differently. I know what I say now isn't going to change or undo everything you went through but I wanted you to know I still care about you and never stopped. I'm sorry for not being a better friend, Y/N. I'm sorry for ending our friendship without a second thought and not bothering to hear your side of the breakup. I wish I protected you from all of the struggles you went through so you could've had at least one shoulder to lean on. I still love you like a younger sister and I hope that one day you'll forgive me, even if I have to apologize every day for the rest of my life."
The chopsticks you were holding onto fell out of your grasp as you stared at Seokjin in silence. An overwhelming range of emotions washed over you, ranging from hurt to disbelief, from anger to relief. You waited for four years to hear the apology you desperately wanted but now that you heard it, you didn't know what to make of it. You continued to stare at Seokjin in silence, who continued to stare back at you with equal intensity. The rim of his eyes was red as they began welling up with tears, sending a surge of anger through you. How dare he cry when he was the one who left you behind?
"You never sided with Hoseok?" You asked, your voice booming around the empty cafe. "You're telling me that I spent all of these years thinking you hated me only to learn that you've never felt that way?"
"I'm sorry, Y/N, I really am. Please forgive me." Seokjin pleaded. "I wanted to tell Hoseok that he was wrong and that he ended your relationship too quickly but I couldn't take your side. It would have started way too many issues and the last thing anybody wanted was for our management team to get involved. I never meant to hurt you and I'm so sorry that you did. I regret not standing up for you back then and I always will."
"It's not about taking sides, Seokjin." You snarled. "It was never about that and you know that. How dare you minimize it to only that?"
Seokjin tried to explain himself but you immediately cut him off, unwilling to hear more of what he had to say.
"I was left to raise two kids on my own without any ounce of support. My parents disowned me because Hoseok got me pregnant, I was kicked out of the apartment I shared with him, I had to work for eight months while I was pregnant so I could afford to get by during my maternity leave but you want to make this about taking sides. The only thing I wanted was for at least one of you to hear me out but apparently, even that was too much to ask for. Why did I have to be punished for a mistake that me and Hoseok made? How is that fair for me?"
You couldn't stop the stream of tears that fell down your face even though you didn't want to show him the extent of how much he hurt you. Your shoulders shook violently as you sobbed into your hands, the initial hurt and betrayal you felt when Hoseok broke up with you washing over you once again. Endless apologies fell from Seokjin's lips as he cried with you, begging for forgiveness mixing in with his cries.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so so sorry. I wish things went differently and I tell myself every day that I should've handled the situation better and should have reached out to you way earlier. I'm sorry for brushing away the fact that you were not only Hoseok's girlfriend but one of my best friends. I'll do whatever I can and whatever you want me to to make up for it. Please forgive me."
Quite frankly, you weren't sure how much longer you could hold a grudge against Seokjin or if you even wanted to be angry at him anymore. The hurt of him leaving you without an explanation would always linger but who were you to put the blame on him when Hoseok was the reason why he ghosted you in the first place?
“I hope you know I’m not letting you off easy. You have a lot to make up for, Seokjin.” You whispered.
Seokjin reached across the table to entangle his hand with yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I'll do whatever it takes."
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You woke up feeling miserable the next morning. Your eyes were red and swollen and you felt as if you didn’t get a wink of sleep. Luckily for you, Seungkwan and Joshua (who graciously agreed to watch them last minute) put the twins to sleep by the time you came back so you immediately collapsed into bed after washing up for the night. Even after getting a full eight hours of sleep, you were exhausted, both mentally and physically.
After countless more apologies from Seokjin, the two of you found a middle ground and decided to begin rebuilding your friendship. Although you weren't too keen on letting him back into your life so quickly, you felt like you had nothing else to lose. If your friendship with him didn't work out, then it didn't work out. You lost him once so it wouldn't hurt if you lost him again, especially now that you had a support system behind you.
"Can you believe it's only eleven in the morning? We have another six hours before we close." Sohee sighed, leaning her head against the counter as she watched people pass by the cafe.
"Don't remind me." Taewoo sighed, taking a seat on the stool beside her.
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at your employees. "You guys are like this every day. Why not take a day off when I offer you one?"
"And leave our sajangnim to fend for herself?" Taewoo asked. "No way."
You scowled at the name, swatting at him with the rag you were using to wipe off the dust from the display case. "I told you to stop calling me that."
"If we had at least one interesting thing happen a day then I wouldn't be complaining. But the only thing that happens is somebody dropping their drink and I have to mop it up."
"Delivery for Y/L/N Y/N?"
You looked up from the display case, peeking your head over to see who was calling your name. A young man was holding a large bouquet of flowers in his hands, immediately piquing your interest. You waved to the delivery man with a smile, who happily handed you the bouquet. Sohee and Taewoo eyed the bouquet of flowers in interest before sharing a look.
"Have a nice day, ma'am and I hope you enjoy your flowers!"
"Thank you!"
"I've spoken too soon." Sohee mused. "Something interesting is happening. Our sajangnim seems to have an admirer."
You were pleasantly surprised to receive a bouquet of flowers and you couldn't remember the last time you were given one. You admired the blue and purple hydrangeas, happy that whoever sent you the flowers sent you hypoallergenic ones. Not many people knew you were allergic to flowers because of the pollen so you supposed they were from one of your friends. You picked up the card that was attached to the bottom of the bouquet, reading the message that was inscribed on it.
To the most wonderful girl I know, I hope you still love hydrangeas just as much as you used to. I'll keep fighting for you as long as you'll let me. You'll always have a special place in my heart — Hoseok
"Damn you, Jung Hoseok." You mumbled underneath your breath, slamming the card back onto the counter. "Of course, I still love hydrangeas. Does he really think I would stop liking my favorite flowers because of him?"
"Who did you get those flowers from, noona?" Taewoo asked, trying to peer at the name on the card.
Your finger was hiding Hoseok's name much to his dismay. The last thing you needed was for your employees to learn that you were receiving flowers from a BTS member (who also happened to be your ex-boyfriend and baby daddy) when your relationship with him had never been public knowledge. While the media and fans suspected Hoseok was in a relationship with someone, they never had enough evidence to prove their theory to be correct and they had no clue who you were. The two of you and BigHit did an excellent job at hiding your relationship.
"Just an old friend." You waved off his question. "An early birthday gift."
Sohee nodded her head disappointedly. "Right, your birthday is coming up soon."
"Gosh, don’t sound too excited, Yeon Sohee.”
You brought the bouquet into the backroom where you kept your belongings. You placed it neatly next to your purse, admiring the beautiful colors for a moment before shaking your head.
“Snap out of it, Y/N. It’s just a bouquet of flowers given by the most vile man to ever walk this planet.” You lightly smacked yourself in the face to snap yourself out of the reverie you had fallen into.
You would be lying if you said that it didn’t remind you of all the times Hoseok would surprise you with a bouquet of hydrangeas. Even before either of you dated, Hoseok would gift you flowers on special occasions. After you began dating, he would bring you a new bouquet of hydrangeas whenever the old flowers died out. Your apartment was always full of beautiful and colorful flowers no matter what time of year it was. It was heart-wrenching to see, to say the least.
Full transparency, you expected Hoseok to drop the situation after your fight with him a week ago but it seemed like he was adamant about making amends with you. Sending you a bouquet of flowers barely moved your cold heart towards him but he was ready to pull out all of the tricks up his sleeve to win you over.
And possibly win you back.
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“Geez, when I said to invite a few people, I didn’t think it would mean the whole group.” You muttered, stepping inside to let everybody in.
When you invited Seungcheol and Eunae over for dinner, you told Seungcheol that if any of the other members were free, they were more than welcome to join as well. What you didn't expect was to see Chan standing at your door with a wide grin on his face with the rest of the Seventeen members sporting the same goofy smile as him in the back.
"Samchon?" Jaehee waddled over to the door, smiling up at her uncle.
“I’m hurt, noona. Do you not want us here?” Chan sniffed, brushing past you to snatch Jaehee off of the ground.
“At least a warning would have been nice.”
You returned to the kitchen to finish making the tteokbokki you had just started while the rest of the Seventeen members filed into your apartment. They brought various dishes for dinner, ranging from bossam to fried chicken. You profusely thanked them for bringing over an abundance of food, grateful that they were able to pull something together last minute.
"What the hell is this?"
Eunae snatched the bouquet of flowers that were sitting on your countertop, staring it closely. Seungcheol immediately joined her, his chest pressed against her back as they observed the flowers closely. They tried to look for any indication of who might've sent it but there wasn't even the slightest bit of a hint of where you got it from.
"Who are you getting flowers from, Y/L/N Y/N?" Eunae eyed you suspiciously, glancing between you and the bouquet as if the person who gave you them would appear.
"Are you back in the dating scene after four long years? About time that you do. You're turning into a hag." Seungcheol piped up.
You scowled and glared at him, beginning to chop the onion that was on the cutting board more aggressively. "Insult me again and I'll dice your dick like this onion."
Mingyu whistled lowly, "Damn, I don't think she's kidding, hyung."
“You’re one to talk, Seungcheol hyung. You’re the same age as her.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes.
"Who gives a fuck about Seungcheol hyung's age and dick? Who gave you those flowers, noona?" Soonyoung demanded,
You were beginning to regret inviting everybody over for dinner. You cursed your past self for not having a quiet night with the twins and allowing for the dinner to be an open invite. Quite honestly, you were surprised that Seungcheol and Eunae didn't invite even more people over.
"Hoseok gave them to me." You mumbled.
"What?" Seokmin scrunched his eyebrows. "We can't hear you."
"Hoseok gave them to me." You repeated yourself, raising your voice so loudly that it silenced everybody in the living room and kitchen. Your face flushed before you opened the fridge to grab shredded mozzarella cheese. "I got a delivery earlier today and it was from Hoseok."
Eunae dropped the bouquet of flowers back on the countertop, her face reflecting that of disgust. Seungcheol was making the same face as her much to your amusement but it quickly dissipated when they both shot you a glare. You nervously chuckled, facing the stove instead as you dumped cheese over half of the tteokbokki.
"Why is he giving you flowers, Y/N?" Jeonghan raised his eyebrows, thoroughly entertained by what was happening.
"He's trying to get back on good terms with me." You muttered, placing the lid over the pan to help the cheese melt faster.
"What?" Eunae demanded. "Speak up and stop mumbling. You're not a child."
Irritation shot through you at her harsh tone to which you snapped back, "He sent flowers to me because he's trying to get back on good terms with me. Not that it's anybody's business."
Seungcheol frowned at your rude tone. "Watch it, Y/N. She was just asking."
"And you guys don't need to know every bit of information about me. Who cares who I got flowers from and who cares about why Hoseok gave them to me? I would've told you guys eventually." You replied.
Joshua placed his hand on your shoulder, giving you a concerned look. "Are you okay, Y/N?"
You normally weren't an agitated and snappy person but for some reason, you were on edge ever since Hoseok sent the flowers. As nice as they were, you were still weary of him and held ill feelings. It was wrong of you to let your irritation out on Eunae but her remark rubbed you the wrong way. "I'm fine. Can you take out the drinks from the fridge?"
He didn't seem convinced but nodded his head nonetheless. Eunae narrowed her eyes at you, mentally making a note to talk to you once everybody else left your apartment. You avoided her intense stare, opting to take the tteokbokki off of the stove and place it next to the rest of the food that was brought by the others.
"Dang, Hoseok sunbaenim must have spent a lot of money on this bouquet of flowers," Jun observed, taking the hydrangeas out of the vase. "You could take somebody out with these."
Soonyoung yanked them out of his hands with a frown. "He has a lot of audacity sending you flowers have all of that bullshit he spewed at you."
"I mean at least he's trying now." Minghao pointed out. "He could've chosen to continue on with his life without Y/N and the twins."
"He should've tried earlier." Seungkwan rolled his eyes, placing the flowers in the vase. "He's ruining our agenda."
"Agenda? What agenda?"
Seungkwan's eyes widened at Joshua's question, nervously chuckling after realizing nobody was going to back him up. "Oh, nothing."
Mingyu subtly elbowed him while you sent him a glare. You quickly switched the topic by asking Joshua to take Jaehee and Jaeyoung to wash their hands in the bathroom.
"Sorry, noona." Seungkwan sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.
You sighed, "It's okay, Kwannie. It happens."
"He really is ruining our agenda, you know." Seokmin piped up. "Hong Y/N is never going to happen at this rate."
His comment caused several weird looks from the rest of the members who had not a single clue about the 'Hong Y/N' agenda. You swatted at his shoulder, harshly shushing him but that didn't stop the others from being nosy.
"The what?" Jeonghan looked thoroughly amused by the conversation. "Do Y/N and Shua like each other or something?"
"No!" You exclaimed loudly. "They're just being annoying."
"Don't think you think Y/N and Joshua go well together? They would make a great couple." Seungcheol grinned.
Vernon nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, they would make a pretty good couple now that you mention it."
Your mouth fell open, feeling betrayed that he agreed with them. You never thought that Vernon out of all people would enable such ridiculous behavior from the other members but you supposed that he was also a mystery a lot of the time. "Stop encouraging them. It's ridiculous."
"What's so ridiculous about love?" Soonyoung asked dramatically.
You scoffed. "There is no love between us other than platonic love. Besides, you guys are forgetting that Haerin exists. She's visiting him next week because she finally got enough days off from work to take a longer trip."
"That doesn't mean we can't still root for you guys." Mingyu argued.
"Have some respect for her. She's known Josh way longer than I have and she actually likes him. He should be in a relationship with someone who has feelings for him. Crazy concept, right?"
Seokmin booed, giving you a double thumbs down. "You're so lame, Y/N."
"How about the rest of you go and find yourself a girlfriend before worrying about other people?" You snapped.
Eunae whistled, "Damn, she got you guys there. Thirteen members but only one has been in a committed relationship while the rest of you can't keep a partner for more than a month. That's tough."
"Oh shut up, Eunae."
"Please, just drop it. I don't want to talk about me and Joshua."
Your best friend narrowed her eyes at you, making it clear that the two of you would talk after everybody went home for dinner. You avoided her gaze, choosing to set up the remainder of the food instead. Joshua returned with the twins with a soaked sweatshirt, looking unamused. You stifled a laugh and handed him a plate as a way to say sorry for the mess your children caused.
"Dinner's ready. Come help yourselves."
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lainsshop · 3 months
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I’m Your Man ୨ৎ
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Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Tags: angst(?), established relationship, out of character(?) n probably more..
Song: I’m Your Man - Mitski
A/N: i really don’t know about this one.. give me your thoughts tho!
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Alastor is known as a huge narcissist, sure but you were the only one who got to see the “real” him, not only the real murderous side of him but also the soft spot he has for you. You made him feel.. weak?
Ever since you two got together, he view you as you were apart of him like an accessory but also much more than that, his lover. He absolutely adored you, you really accepted his flaw self even if he doesn’t admit he doesn’t have flaws.
He never wanted to admit to so many things cause he believes one second of him showing his weak self will make his enemies aware of that and it will put him and yourself in even more danger.
You were also the only one who got to see him in a vulnerable state, which is rare to be honest. Maybe he doesn’t wanna worry you, he really doesn’t but every time he’s in that state he would always come to you and you will listen to his words.
“You’re an angel, I’m a dog,” He started to slowly say as you two were in the hotels library. The door was locked, the sound of rain and fire cracking could be heard and a sweet slow tune next to you as you play with his hair and ears carefully.
“… or your dog and I’m your man.” There was times were he gets.. poetic in some way. Luckily, you knew what the meaning of his words meant.
He didn’t looked at you in the eyes. “You believe me like a God,” He continued. “I’ll destroy you like I am-” Oh, he could. He could easily hurt you in a second, he doesn’t tho. You being so near to him is like a risk to both of you cause he never hesitates to do anything. Like that night..
“I’m sorry I’m the one you love..” You see, you two met when you were alive, you were a lil bit younger than him by that time and he involved you into his weird habits like killing people, cannibalism, so much more and then your death..
Deep down, he blamed himself for that. That night, he took you into the woods to hide a body, usually it went well but then you guys got mistaken as a deer and the hunter got you first.. he looked at you dead body and then- he woke up in hell.
He couldn’t even process what happened in that exact moment so when he appeared in hell, he wasn’t surprised at all but then he remembered you. He genuinely thought you went to heaven but then again.. you helped him so he looked around.
“No one will ever love me like you again, my dear,” He finally looked at you as he grabbed you hand and gave it a small kiss. “So when you leave me, I should die.. I deserve it, don’t I?”
You froze a bit at that. You looked at him with a surprised, shocked and worried expression. “Al-” “I can feel it gettin’ near like flashlights comin’..” You wanted to tell him how much you meant you him, how even if he’s not the affectionate type or how much of a bad he is, you still loved him ever since the day you met but-
“One day, you’ll figure me out..” There was apart him that you really didn’t knew and he feared that. He feared that one day you’ll know more about him, more deeper about him and leave him. You knew his murderous way, yes but do you actually?
“I’ll meet judgement by the hounds,” A silent scratchy static could be heard as he said the last word. He was still smiling as he spoke.
“You always gave me love, you were never to blame after all, mon ange..” He looked at you with a bit of sad soft eyes as he cups your cheek and his thumb strokes your under eye.
The sudden sound of dogs start to appear outside in the rain. You two looked at each other as you had watery eyes trying not to get emotional or anything. There was silence between you two until-
“You believe me like a God-” A tear fell down your cheek. You suddenly hug him, not too tight, just enough to show him that you cared about him and you didn’t care how he really is.
He started to caress your hair. “I’ll betray you like a man.”
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© LAINSSHOP 2024
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acidicpenumbra · 5 months
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Hello describers of things can we stop using medical terminology as descriptors please PLEASE
Sorry grievances time because I don’t like it there are alternatives and I will literally fucking list them for you. (Alternatives are given as alternative words to HOW PEOPLE WRONGLY USE the disorders in question, NOT AS ACCURATE DESCRIPTIONS of the disorders/symptoms. Thanx. A handful of the “alternatives” can still be used as derogatory but for fucks sake what the fuck ever stop using medical terms as insults)
(Edit: Here to clarify that my intention of the words below is not to say I see other mentally ill or disabled people like this, it’s specifically what I myself most commonly see people use the diagnostic words to mean. I believe it is also important to say that all terms below can be used in a derogatory/negative sense, and while I do see the issues potentially present with someone having terms just to be an asshole, I also want to say that it’s easier to phase out legitimate medical terminology from people’s vocabularies if you offer alternatives instead of just telling them not to say things. This was originally a rant post about my own frustrations regarding misuses of diagnostic terminology & misusing those terms as a means to insult/demean people, as it is offensive and conveys that their problems make them nothing more than an insult to you.)
Bipolar/Manic (alternative words/phrases that don’t refer to/demonize bipolar disorder: inconsistent, erratic, unpredictable, flighty, fickle, irregular, volatile, temperamental)
Delusional/Psychotic (alternative words/phrases that don’t refer specifically to/demonize psychosis: deranged, unstable, frantic, unhinged, frenzied)
Narcissist (alternative words/phrases that don’t refer to/demonize NPD: egotistical, entitled, full of oneself, vain, selfish, haughty, prideful, arrogant)
Psychopath/Sociopath (alternative words/phrases that don’t refer to/demonize ASPD: cold, uncaring, calculated, withdrawn)
Braindead (alternative words/phrases that don’t ridicule/make a spectacle out of actual brain death: absentminded, unwise, foolish, stupid, oblivious)
Antisocial (alternative words/phrases that don’t refer to ASPD: not social, asocial, introverted)
Obsessive Compulsive (alternative words/phrases that don’t devalue or otherwise stigmatize OCD: perfectionist, organized, tidy, neat, structured) 
Intrusive Thoughts (alternative words/phrases that don’t devalue or otherwise stigmatize legitimate intrusive thoughts: impulsive-, reckless-, spontaneous-, rash-, all ending in “thought/thoughts”)
This isn’t like a masterlist or anything it’s just a list I have on hand but like for real stop calling people sociopaths and psychos and shit this sucks balls Thanks
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quitblamingnarcissism · 6 months
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Abuse Victim: "My parents beat the shit out of me on a regular basis."
Society: "Good for them. The world needs more parents like them. Every problem in society is caused by parents not beating their children enough."
Abuse Victim: "My parents yelled at me nonstop but punished me for disrespect if I reacted and yelled back even once."
Society: "Of course they did. It's called respecting authority. Your parents are not supposed to be your friends. They're supposed to be superior to you."
Abuse Victim: "My parents constantly berated me about my grades. They prioritized my grades over my mental health."
Society: "They just wanted the best for you. They wanted you to be successful. You should be thanking them for that."
Abuse Victim: "My parents never believed me when I said that I struggled with something. They just insisted that I'm being negative."
Society: "They were just trying to teach you to have a positive attitude. No one likes someone who's always negative."
Abuse Victim: "My parents said cruel things to me all the time."
Society: "Well clearly they didn't say enough cruel things because you're still a whiny special snowflake who's offended by words. They needed to toughen you up."
Abuse Victim: "Oh, and one last thing. My parents have Narcissistic Personality Disorder."
Society: "I'm so sorry that that happened to you. No one deserves that kind of physical abuse, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. Abusive monsters like that shouldn't be allowed to have children. I'm here for you if you need someone to vent to."
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