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cali-holland · 3 years

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An Irregular Romance ★ Harrison Osterfield One Shot

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield X Reader

Summary: Over five years ago, Harrison followed his heart (a.k.a. you) to drama school, and the day he asked you out was the day he discovered you had a boyfriend. He thought that part of his past was behind him, but then he was cast as Leo in The Irregulars and you were cast as Bea. Romance and shenanigans ensue as he tries to navigate the resurrection of his crush on you.

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: spoilers for The Irregulars, swearing, drinking (reader gets v drunk at one point), cheating boyfriend + “open relationship” drama

Masterlist in bio

*Gif is not mine

A/N: inspired by harrison literally saying he followed the girl he liked to drama school but she didn’t like him back; the drama school is the brit school (idk if that’s what he was talking about but age wise it works better); also darci is 18+ in this fic bc it just fits better to make her around their age; plus i had to re-post this bc the tags didn’t work so rip

also just like to say a massive thank you to @duskholland for proofreading this for me :) you’re the best! this fic would be missing 90% of its commas if it wasn’t for you lmao

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Harrison had been buzzing with excitement all week. While he knew for sure that he had landed the role of Prince Leo in The Irregulars, he had no idea who the other cast members were. His agent learned from Netflix that they’d announce the cast on Saturday, so now here he sat, anxiously awaiting the news as he drank another pint with his good friends.

“Anything yet?” Tuwaine asked, refreshing his Twitter timeline.

“Nope.” Harrison said with a shake of his head as Netflix’s Instagram page remained unchanged as another minute went by.

“Maybe they’re announcing it at midnight.” Tom shrugged, trying to be useful to ease his friend’s nerves.

“Everyone would be asleep.” The blond replied before taking another long drink of his beer.

“Well, congratulations whenever they officially announce it.” Harry stated, standing up with his empty glass. “Next round’s on me.”

The conversation began to wander off, and Harrison found himself deep in thought, pondering his mysterious, new castmates. Would he like them? Would they like him? Were they big names or no names? Were they people he had screen-tested with (because, truthfully, he only screen-tested with a few girls, but even then, he didn’t screen test with all of the potential actresses)? As he got stuck, trying to think of someone he’d actually liked when they screen-tested together, he was snapped out of his thoughts by Tom yelling.

“It’s up!” Tom held his phone in the middle of the table as he, Harrison, Tuwaine, and Harry, who was now back with more beer, looked over the cast. A sense of pride soared through the group at Harrison’s picture and name being on the official Netflix page for The Irregulars. Harrison read over the other names, wondering if he knew any by happenstance. Just as he recognized one name in particular, Tom spoke up.

“Y/N Y/L/N? Isn’t that the girl you fancied in drama school?” Tom asked with a smirk. His smirk seemed to widen as Harrison blushed a deeper shade of red.

“No, no, no!” Harrison grumbled, taking out his phone to look over the post for himself because maybe, if he looked from his own account, the cast would magically change. When he looked at your name and picture right beside his, realization hit him. He slumped over, putting his head down on the table regretfully.

“I’d nearly forgotten about Haz’s girl that wasn’t his girl.” Tuwaine joked.

“Wait, what girl?” Harry questioned, out of the loop.

Perhaps the stupidest but best choice Harrison had ever made in his life was following you, his biggest crush, to drama school. Why his mother even let him chase after a girl like that was beyond him; he thought she should’ve advised him against it, but with the whole “follow your heart” attitude, his mum was his biggest supporter. He did his best to impress you, to get you to notice him, but you were unfazed by him. The day that he finally got the courage to ask you out was the day that he learned you’d had a boyfriend for the past two months.

Though he didn’t get the girl in drama school, he actually enjoyed it, and look where he ended up now— a new Netflix show was on the horizon for him. Despite the fact that he was (and still sort of is) crushed and embarrassed by the fact that you (very kindly) rejected him five years ago, drama school turned out to be a blessing.

“Harrison, here,” Tom laughed as he clapped his friend’s shoulder as Harrison still didn’t lift his head from his pitiful position, “thought he’d pursue acting because Y/N wanted to be an actress. He didn’t realize that in order to get her attention, he’d have to actually talk to her.”

That was enough to make Harrison lift his head, eyeing his friend questioningly. Cutting Tom off, he defended himself, “What do you mean? I did talk to her.”

“Right— you’d have maybe one conversation with her every three weeks.” Tom turned back to his brother, “Anyway, Haz finally asked her out and, turns out, she’d been dating this other guy for months.”

“Whatever. I only asked her out because you and Tuwaine shoved me into her. Maybe she doesn’t even remember me.” Harrison pulled out his phone to check over Netflix’s Instagram, wanting to see for himself the new cast again. When he opened the app, it notified him of all the new followers he had gotten, and, with one glance at the list of names, one account stood out to him.

‘@yourusername started following you’. Harrison let out a sigh, not wanting to dwell on this any further.

“She works fast.” Harry teased, looking over the blond’s shoulder.

“We’re co-stars now. She probably followed everyone else too.”

As if on cue, a new notification came through his Instagram— ‘@yourusername sent you a message’. With bated breath, he opened it to see the message that confirmed his worst fear— you remembered him.

‘Hey stranger! How have you been?’

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With every passing day, Harrison’s excitement for this new big project grew… but so did his dread about seeing you again. He wasn’t entirely sure now as to why his gut was filled with butterflies mixed with anxiety just thinking about you. You were only ever nice to him, both before and after he asked you out. It all led him back to the same conclusion that he still had a thing for you, but yet again, maybe it’s just life that your first real crush always has some power over you.

As he walked down the strangely long hallway to the conference room, he adjusted the collar of his letterman’s jacket. Today was the big day— the first table read for The Irregulars, and the first day he’d be confronted by you after all these years. Just on the other side of this door, his co-stars and the main production crew were waiting. Everything was real now; production would start in just a few days.

With one last nervous breath, he pushed open the heavy oak door and entered the room. People were chatting as they sat around the large conference table, which had small name cards at each seat. Harrison’s eyes found you almost immediately. You were locked into a conversation with your co-star, Darci, seated to your left for the table read. To your right was one of the last available seats, and Harrison’s name was on the little card on the table. All hopes of being unnoticed by you were instantaneously gone as he took his seat beside you.

“Fancy seeing you here.” You said to Harrison with a laugh, and he was instantly reminded of how that laugh basically drove him to where he was today.

“How long has it been?” Harrison asked, trying to play it cool like he hadn’t been rehearsing this day in his mind for the past several months.

“Far too long.” You smiled.

As the last few people trickled into the room, introductions flew around the table as everyone met their new coworkers. After a cold read-through of the script and a few words from the show’s creator, the table read was deemed over. Just when Harrison thought he was free to forget about your existence for a few more days, you pulled him aside.

“Hey, Darci and I were going to get drinks with McKell and Jojo. You should come.” You offered, and Harrison chanced a glance across the room to where Darci was chatting with your other two main co-stars.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Harrison replied. He cleared his throat before giving you a definite nod that yes, that’d be a great idea.

“Perfect.”

And just like that, the five of you made your way across town to a pub. Darci had chosen the spot, explaining that it was the best place for drinks in Liverpool, and, seeing as she’d lived there her whole life, none of you tried to argue with her.

Harrison felt a strange pit in his stomach as everyone talked and laughed over some beers, as if you weren’t all strangers a few hours ago. His eyes always seemed to land on you and your contagious smile. You looked almost exactly how he remembered you, and you still were the same happy, go-lucky girl he’d fallen hard for. It was crazy to him how quickly you gave him butterflies, how effortlessly you made him feel like a silly schoolboy all over again. He couldn’t help but wonder if you thought he’d changed since his school days, too… or if you even thought about him enough to notice. So far, you’d made no indication that he was anyone besides an old friend from drama school, making him hope you didn’t remember that dreadful day.

As you and Darci excused yourself for a bathroom break, Harrison gave himself a little reminder that he was meant to be getting to know all of his co-stars right now and wasn’t meant to be focusing so intently on you. He took another sip of his beer, turning back to Jojo and McKell.

“So how do you and Y/N know each other?” McKell asked, and Jojo tried to hide his shit-eating grin behind his beer.

“Drama school, a few years ago.” Harrison replied, trying to play ignorant.

“Ah, so it’s a schoolboy crush, then?” Jojo questioned teasingly.

Harrison felt his face heat up. Jojo and McKell were practically strangers to him, and they already knew. He was cornered, “Is it that obvious?”

“A little.” McKell said while Jojo simultaneously replied, “Very.”

“Just ask her out.” Jojo encouraged.

“That’s the problem— I did.” Harrison replied, and both of their jaws dropped.

“No way. Did she let you down easy at least?” McKell’s voice was somewhere between a disbelieving, teasing, and pitiful tone.

Harrison scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “Well, yeah? I mean she wasn’t rude about it, but it was still a bit awkward. She was dating this other guy at the time. He didn’t go to our school, though, so I had no clue about him.”

“That’s rough.” Jojo grimaced, before he gave Harrison a hopeful smile, “Maybe she’s single now.”

“I’ve been rejected by Y/N once— I don’t need her to reject me a second time.” He shook his head with a small laugh to conceal his embarrassment. He took a drink of his beer, hoping that would calm his nerves a little.

“Incoming,” McKell said quietly, nodding in the direction of the bathroom.

“What’d we miss?” Darci asked as she slipped back into her seat. You remained standing to put your jacket on, both you and Darci completely unaware of the boys’ conversation.

“Nothing, just Jojo being an idiot.” McKell joked, to which his newfound friend just punched him in the arm, taking another long drink of his beer.

“I think I might head back to the hotel.” Your words were met with a collective groan from three of your co-stars— Harrison silently frowned as he sipped on his beer.

As your head was down to collect your things, Jojo swiftly kicked Harrison under the table. Harrison looked at him quizzically, sending him a “what the hell was that for” look. When his co-star just nodded his head encouragingly towards you, Harrison got the idea.

“I’ll walk you.” Harrison said, making you look over at him. Standing up from his seat, he insisted, “I was just about to head out, too.”

“Okay,” You smiled, still completely unaware of his interaction with Jojo.

After you all exchanged phone numbers and created a group chat lovingly titled “The Irregz”, you and Harrison left the pub. You fell in step together, walking along the sidewalk in the chilly Liverpool air back to the hotel that you’d all be staying at for the next few months.

“So what have you been up to since graduation?” Harrison asked you, his hands deep in the pockets of his letterman’s jacket.

“All sorts of things, really.” You shrugged with a smile, “I got a few TV roles here and there, did some modeling, but so far none of it has really stuck, so I’m hopeful that this will be a foot in the door. What about you?”

“The same as you, really, but, instead of shows, I’ve done some short films.”

“I see you’re still best friends with Tom.” You said in a teasing tone. Harrison felt an unusual, upsetting tug on his heartstring. Not noticing any change in his demeanor, you continued with a laugh, “It’s funny. I would’ve placed my bets on you being world-famous after graduation.”

“Me?” He questioned, surprised by your words.

“Yeah, you didn’t go to LAMDA for nothing.” You playfully nudged his arm with your elbow, and he felt his cheeks heat up once more. “Don’t be modest— I’m not wrong.”

“Can’t argue with that logic.” A laugh passed his lips, any previous bashful reservations slowly fading away.

Before Harrison could say anything further, your phone began to ring. You fished it out of your pocket and barely looked at the caller ID before sending it to voicemail. Your actions were fast, but Harrison still caught the name of who was calling, Davey, followed by a red heart emoji. And that’s when it hit him— you were still with the same boyfriend from drama school, all those years ago.

And just like that, Harrison felt a tsunami wave of heartbreak from drama school wash over him.

“Hey, Y/N!” Harrison called out as he stumbled his way over to stall you from leaving school. He had one hand holding onto his book bag strap tight enough that his knuckles were turning white, and he shuffled his other through his hair.

“Hey, is everything alright?” You asked, concerned at how nervous he seemed.

“Yeah, um, well, tonight’s opening night for West Side Story, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? I know it’s your favorite play, and it’s one of mine too, so, yeah, I thought maybe we could go together?” He was sure that he’d never sounded so unsure of himself. Truth is, he didn’t want to ask you out right now, but Tom and Tuwaine had quite literally shoved him in your direction, physically encouraging him. He felt rushed and unprepared.

When you smiled so captivatingly and softly at him, he felt his racing heart speed up even more. Was this it? Was he really going to take you on a date? He thought to himself. His hopes weren’t up for long as you spoke up, “I can’t. I’ve already got tickets for tonight. I’m going with Davey.”

“Davey?”

“My boyfriend.” You replied, a hint of guilt in your voice.

His heart shattered. The only reason he was here, at this school, was because of you, and now he just had all of his hopes for any future dates with you thrown out the window.

“You and Davey are still together?” Harrison wondered aloud as you two arrived at the hotel.

“Yeah,” Your response was hesitant and quiet. He knew why— there was that elephant in the room between the two of you.

Before he could stop himself from mentioning it, he blurted out, “You don’t have to feel guilty about it, you know.”

You paused, watching unsure as he ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I kinda wonder what would’ve happened if I had said yes. Davey and I didn’t even end up seeing West Side Story, anyway, so I wonder if you and I would’ve ended up any differently.”

It wasn’t much, but his heart sped up ever so slightly— so you had thought about him, even in the dating context. Harrison couldn’t think of a response (his brain repeated “fuck Davey, ask her out again”) fast enough as you stopped at the front desk. You mumbled something about needing some towels, and Harrison took that as his cue to just continue walking. He bid you a quick farewell, wanting to escape to his room as fast as possible.

Nothing you had said tonight had been particularly flirty, but he still rewound the events in his head because maybe he missed something. As he laid down in his bed that night, his mind drifted off with thoughts of you, wondering just how he’d manage to pull off these next few months without falling for you all over again.

Over the next several weeks, his predicament only seemed to grow. Spending so much time with you (and your other three co-stars) just made Harrison wish even more that he’d asked you out sooner in drama school, and having to spend most of his screen time gawking over you added to it further. Maybe it was another school boy crush, or maybe it was intense method acting— either way, he definitely liked you.

Ever since he read the script for episode four, he knew that eventually your two characters would become romantically involved. He would’ve felt giddy over the thought (because his eighteen-year-old self would’ve died at this opportunity), but whenever he thought of the scene, he was reminded about your boyfriend. Harrison wasn’t the type of guy to hate his crush’s boyfriend, but something just didn’t seem right about Davey.

Harrison was lying on his hotel bed, reading over the episode’s script for what must have been the fifth time through that afternoon. It was Sunday, the day before you’d both film Leo and Bea’s kiss. With a beer on his side table and an array of highlighters beside it, he was set. As the words started to run together, and his glasses began to feel uncomfortable on his nose, he heard a knock at his door.

“Coming!” Harrison called out. Setting his script aside, he rolled off the bed. He was confused at who could possibly be at his door, but, figuring it was someone from set, he had the decency to slip on a white t-shirt, opting for not answering the door in nothing but grey sweats. He was thankful for his last-minute decision as he opened the door and was met with you on his doorstep. Smiling at you and leaning on the doorframe, he let out a small, “Hey.”

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to rehearse tomorrow’s scene.” You offered with a friendly smile on your face.

“Right now?” He asked, glancing back into his room to decipher if it was clean enough or not.

“Oh, is this a bad time?” You replied, subconsciously stepping back. “Is someone here?”

“What?” Harrison looked at you, confused before it clicked what you thought, “Oh, no, no. There’s no one here. I was just rehearsing, too.”

“So is that a yes then or-?” You trailed off.

“Yeah, come on in.” He opened his door fully, allowing you to step in. He chivalrously closed the door behind you. “Would you like water or anything?”

“Can I have a beer?” You asked, spotting the one on his nightstand.

“Sure.” Harrison nodded. While he got you a beer and grabbed his own half-consumed bottle and script, you settled on the couch with your pages in hand.

“Thank you.” You smiled as he handed you the beer, and you took a sip happily. “You know, I’m honestly so jealous of you this week.”

“Why?” He asked with a laugh, thrown off guard by your confession.

“You get to do all the palace scenes again.”

“I also throw myself off a balcony.”

“But still.” You insisted. “Leo really needs to sneak Bea into the palace just so I can have one of those extravagant ball dress scenes. I just want to feel like a princess, and I feel like it’s what Bea deserves.”

Harrison looked at you admiringly for a moment. “You are a princess.” His face dropped as soon as he realized he’d said his thoughts aloud. Coughing, he tried to cover it up, “I mean—- you were kind of princess-like in episode 3, right?”

“Smooth.” You laughed, but didn’t press the situation. Your phone began to ring, and Harrison watched as you rolled your eyes, declining the call and ultimately silencing your phone.

“Spam call?”

“More like clingy non-committal somewhat boyfriend.” You stated, rolling your eyes.

He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. You hadn’t mentioned Davey in the past few weeks— not that Harrison was complaining, but he just assumed you were private about your personal life. “I thought you and Davey were on good terms?”

“We are? I don’t know.” You sighed, taking a sip of your beer.

“If you’re not comfortable with the topic, we can just rehearse-”

“No, it’s fine. I just haven’t really talked about it with anyone. Before I came here, he asked about having an open relationship while I’m away, and I told him no. And the last time we talked, we got into an argument and that was a couple days ago. I’m not ready to talk to him, and at this point, I’d much rather talk to you than him. It’s very frustrating that he wants to have an open relationship, but he still expects me to be at his beck and call. It’s like he’s looking for someone to substitute me, but I can’t have a life of my own. He wasn’t the most supportive of me taking this job in the first place, too.” You paused, with a small shrug, “I know you’re probably thinking I should leave him, but I can’t. We’ve been together for 5 years. I don’t know anything else at this point.”

“I get it.” Harrison said softly, hesitantly resting a comforting hand on your knee. “He was your first love. It makes sense that it’s hard to move on.” He felt his own heart sink at his ironic words. After all, you were his first love.

“I wouldn’t say he’s my first love.” You said softly, placing your hand on his, squeezing it gently. “Plus, at this point, I wouldn’t even say I love him.”

A silence fell in the room. Harrison really didn’t know what to say now. He would have told you to leave him, but you already knew that, so what was the point in him repeating it? Besides, it was your relationship, and you needed to make the decision for yourself… or let Davey make it for you.

“Let’s go through the scene, yeah?” You asked, changing the topic. You dropped his hand to pick up your script again.

“Right.” Harrison mumbled to himself, flicking through the pages to the scene.

You glanced around his hotel suite for a moment, looking for something similar to a bridge rail to lean on. “Should we use the kitchen counter? As the bridge rail?”

“Yeah, that works.” He nodded. The two of you got up, scripts in hand. Harrison stood to your right, just as the stage direction had called for. There was some space between the two of you, enough room for Harrison to shuffle closer to you later, as scripted.

“You’re not on your own, Beatrice. You must remember that.” Harrison said to you, leaning on the counter but looking over to you with his icy blue eyes. “You’re very different to anyone I’ve ever met.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, looking at him curiously.

“You have something about you.” He started, awkwardly.

You cut him off, “Like a smell?”

“No, like a quality.” He chuckled softly before continuing, “I don’t know what it is, but I really like it.”

“Well, when you think of it, let me know.”

“I’ll be sure to.” He smiled at you, his confidence slowly building as the scene continued on. Harrison stepped closer to you until he was right beside you, leaning sideways on the counter. “And I’m not saying you don’t smell, by the way. I’m just saying that that’s not the thing.”

You laughed, turning your head away from him in disbelief. “You know, I was thinking of kissing you, but now I’m not gonna.”

Harrison paused, taking a moment to mentally hype himself up for what was about to happen, but also taking a moment because it was scripted for Leo to be nervous. “Well, uh, I suppose I have to kiss you then.”

You turned to him, smiling coyly. Slowly, Harrison closed his eyes and leaned in. His heart started racing faster as he felt your breath fan against his face before his lips finally found yours. It was gentle and hesitant, everything that it had been scripted to be. As much as he wanted to keep kissing you and keep tasting the sweet strawberries of your lipgloss, it had to end. He pulled away after a moment, and you seemed almost breathless as you opened your eyes to see him again.

“I meant it when I said you’re not on your own.” Harrison looked at you with more hesitancy this time, but he still kissed you with the softest passion. The script said that Leo and Bea kiss and continue to kiss for a few seconds; Harrison wasn’t counting, but he was sure this kiss was longer than it was meant to be. Again, he found himself dreading its inevitable end. If there was one thing he could do for the rest of his life, it’d be this… well, this amongst other things with you. His stomach started to stir with guilt as he remembered Davey; you were still technically in a relationship, open or not, arguing currently or not. But then it clicked with Harrison, you weren’t pulling away— no, you were fully kissing him back.

Before he could pull away and end the scene with his last few lines, a knock came from his door. Regretfully, he stepped away from you. He didn’t meet your eye as he went to answer the door while you read over the script on the counter. Flustered, he opened the door.

“Mum! You’re here.” Harrison’s eyes went wide, surprised to see his mother and his sister standing before him.

“Surprise!” She smiled, hugging him almost immediately. “We had to come and see you at your big job.”

“Are you not happy to see us?” Charlotte teased, and Harrison shook his head, pulling her in for a hug. As they all stepped into Harrison’s apartment, you waved from the kitchen.

“Hi.” You smiled, coming over to introduce yourself.

“Oh, mum, Charlotte, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is my mum and Charlotte, my sister.” Harrison introduced the three of you.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N from drama school?” Phil said with a smile, making the connection as you shook her hand. Charlotte seemed to stifle a laugh as Harrison’s cheeks heated up.

“Yes, that sounds like me.” You laughed, brushing off any awkwardness that Harrison feared was there. “We were just rehearsing our scene for tomorrow.”

“Maybe we can come to set.” Phil suggested, sending Harrison an expectant look.

“I’ll have to ask. This is so, so last-minute, though, so I don’t know.” He replied.

“It’s a spontaneous weekend trip.” Charlotte clarified.

“We should get some dinner. We haven’t eaten much all day.” Phil told Harrison before turning to you, “Y/N, you should come, too. It’d be so lovely to get to know you.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” You trailed off, glancing at Harrison. He sent you a silent look that said ‘she seriously does want you to come… If you don’t come, I won’t hear the end of it’. “I’d love to. I just need to go change first.”

You grabbed your script off the counter, and Harrison walked you to the door. “How long do you need?”

“Like 10 minutes?” You replied, and he nodded.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know they were coming, or that they’d invite you to dinner.” He said quietly, making you laugh.

“It’s fine, but I do have to warn you, if my parents spontaneously drop by, they don’t know who you are.” You teased.

He let out an embarrassed groan, “Let’s not talk about that.”

“See you in ten.” You sent him a wink before leaving to your own hotel room. As Harrison closed the door and turned back around, he was met with the smirking faces of his mother and sister.

“So, is there anything you want to tell us?” Phil asked.

“We were rehearsing. That’s all.” Harrison insisted, going through the wardrobe to find some clothes to change into for dinner.

“Huh,” Charlotte trailed off, crossing her arms. “So, you wearing sparkly lip gloss that matches Y/N’s is a coincidence?”

“It’s a kiss scene tomorrow. We rehearsed the lines and the kisses, too.” He explained. With a pair of jeans, a clean shirt, and his red letterman jacket in hand, he made his way to the bathroom.

“Oh, multiple kisses.” She teased, making him roll his eyes.

“She has a boyfriend!” Harrison ended the conversation, closing the door to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, you returned back to Harrison’s room, and the four of you left, making your way to an Italian restaurant nearby. You and Harrison shared anecdotes about filming so far, keeping spoilers to a minimum until the server came with your food.

“We got in so much trouble from the makeup and hair department.” You laughed as Harrison finished telling them of how you two went on the playground last week, much to the chagrin of the crew.

“It was worth it.” He added.

“Who would’ve known you’d play a Netflix prince?” Charlotte asked teasingly, but it was clear she was still proud of his achievements.

“Look at that face. He couldn’t play anything but a prince.” You joked, and he smiled smugly.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He stated.

“Phil, I have to say, I’ve never met someone more well suited to play a well-mannered prince.” You told her, playfully pinching Harrison’s cheek beside you.

“I remember when there was a time he was revolted at the idea of playing a prince.” Phil said, her lips growing into a smirk, and Harrison knew exactly what that meant.

“Mum, no—“ He started, but you just shushed him, wanting to hear whatever embarrassing story was about to be told.

“He watched a single Batman movie growing up— and not even a good one at that, and decided he simply had to be Batman.” She explained. “Then the Christopher Nolan ones came out, and there was no stopping him.”

“Every kid wants to be a superhero, and Batman is simply the best one.” He said as if it was obvious.

“I didn’t know you had a Batman phase.” You teased.

“Phase? He still has posters and comic books and dolls.” Charlotte added.

“Action figures.” He corrected her, making you laugh at the humor of it all.

“You know, honestly, I think I still have Catwoman action figures.” You admitted, trying to make him feel better, and Phil’s eyes lit up as she remembered another story.

“I cleaned your room a couple weeks ago, Harrison, and I was surprised to see you still Anne Hathaway as Catwoman posters.”

“Do we really have to talk about that? Does this torture not end?” He groaned.

“Fine. That’s enough for tonight.” Phil let out a defeated sigh, clearly enjoying herself.

“Y/N, if you want the really embarrassing stories, you’ve got to talk to Tom. He’s told me embarrassing Harrison stories that I can’t say in front of mum.” Charlotte laughed, and Harrison’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head at his sister’s words.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You smiled coyly.

“Sometimes, I wonder if he forgets that I know just as much embarrassing shit that he did growing up, too.” Harrison stated, shaking his head.

The night went on with minimal embarrassment on Harrison’s end. After Phil and Charlotte went back to their hotel, you and Harrison started the walk back to your own hotel. As you walked, your hands would brush against each other’s every so often, but neither of you made any move to take it further.

“Darci’s going to be so jealous in the morning.” You said, making him laugh a little.

“Why’s that?”

“That’s her favorite restaurant in town. Plus, I just got a free meal.” You laughed. A visible shiver coursed through you as the chilly night air picked up.

“Are you cold?” Harrison asked, already taking off his letterman’s jacket.

“Thank you.” You replied, taking his offer of warmth. Your short sleeves did nothing to shield you from the cold, but he had at least been prepared enough with long sleeves. “Are you sure you won’t get chilly?”

“I’ll be fine.” He reassured you.

“I had a really nice time tonight. I’m glad your mum invited me.” You admitted happily.

“Me, too. Apart from all of the embarrassment I just went through, I enjoyed tonight.”

“I never knew you had a secret Batman fanboy side.”

“I never knew you had a secret Catwoman fangirl side.” He countered with a smile.

“Guess that means we make a good team, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

As you smiled at him, completely content under the moonlight, he wanted nothing more than to kiss you right then, to taste the sweetness of your strawberry lip gloss again. The last bit of your walk was filled with you two arguing over Batwoman and Catwoman, two things that neither of you had ever realized you had in common before.

Harrison’s wish finally came true the next day, as you two ran through the kiss scene multiple times. It was strange at first for him, because his sister and mother were intently watching, proud to see him in action, even if it was just a kiss scene over and over again. But, with you there, he grew more and more comfortable with each take.

As a few more weeks passed by, Harrison thought that perhaps you and Davey had officially ended things, but then he heard through Darci that you had magically worked it out. Whatever magic it was, he was upset about it, and he found himself increasingly irritated at the mention of Davey.

“Ooh, we finally get to meet the Davey tonight?” Darci asked as the five of you enjoyed lunch in between shots. It had been two weeks Harrison’s mother and sister visited, and now Davey was coming, much to Harrison chagrin.

“He’s only here for two days.” You explained, taking a bite of your sandwich.

“Ah, so you’ll be very busy, then.” McKell teased, suggestively nudging your side with his elbow. You brushed off his comment with a laugh, avoiding Harrison’s eyes.

“We should get him to do that calzone challenge with us.” Jojo said to Harrison. Although Jojo and McKell had been rather supportive of Harrison’s interest in you at the beginning, they seemed to forget about it most of the time now— for which he was actually kind of grateful.

The conversation couldn’t go any further as the director came into the room, holding the script in his hands. The look on his face told all of you that something was up. He looked between you and Harrison before speaking, “Change of plans for tomorrow. Eileen isn’t feeling well, so we’ll film Bea and Leo’s scene tomorrow instead of her scenes.”

“But tomorrow was supposed to be—“ You started, but cut yourself short, realizing there was no point in arguing. Schedules, plans, things all change, and this was just part of the job. “Never mind.”

“Well, tomorrow will be interesting.” Darci said quietly, voicing what was on everybody’s minds.

The director left with a silent nod, and the room fell silent for a moment. You and Harrison wouldn’t dare to look at each other, both of you feeling awkward suddenly. Making out with Harrison multiple times, especially with your boyfriend there, was not something either of you particularly enjoyed the thought of.

Having to film no more scenes today, Harrison went back to the hotel with Jojo and McKell. He didn’t end up seeing you for the rest of the day, but he was okay with that as he wanted to go as long as he could without meeting Davey. The director had taken some pity on the two of you, asking you to come in later in the morning instead of at 6 AM like usual.

Harrison made his way down to the hotel gym, wanting to utilize his newfound free time. Normally, he’d get his daily workout in after filming, but he didn’t see a reason to not get an early start today. He didn’t expect anyone to be up this early, but as he got closer to the gym, he could hear a voice coming from inside the room, the door cracked just slightly.

“Love, I promise I’ll be back in two days.” The stranger paused before continuing, “You know I’m only here for business, nothing else.”

Curious and trying to decide if he should even enter the room, Harrison snuck a quick glance through the crack in the doorway. He felt his blood run cold as he immediately recognized the guy sitting on the weight bench. Afterall, Harrison had looked at your social media enough to recognize your olive-skinned boyfriend, Davey.

“Bit early for you, isn’t it?” Harrison nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of your voice from down the hall. He heard Davey mumbled something on the other side of the door, probably having heard your voice too.

“Yeah, but I just figured I’d start my pull-ups early today.” He replied before opening the door for you, acting like he had no clue that Davey had been in there.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Davey said to you, completely ignoring Harrison. He stood from his spot at the weight bench to wrap his arms around your waist and kiss you possessively.

“Davey, this is Harrison, he plays Leo. Harrison, this is Davey.” You introduced the two guys.

Davey looked Harrison up and down with his dark brown eyes and seemed to stand straighter, even though the blond was inches taller. Harrison was the first to step forward and politely outstretch a hand to the raven-haired guy before him. With a tight smile, Davey shook his hand, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Davey turned back to you, “Spot me?”

“Actually, I wanted to-” Your eyes drifted over to the treadmill as Harrison got in position to start his pull-ups at the bar. Davey looked at you expectantly, and you nodded, silently agreeing to stand there and spot Davey while he bench pressed.

Slipping on his headphones and turning on some music, Harrison began his workout. He played his music loud enough to block out your conversations with Davey. Not only was it none of his business, but god, Harrison really hated everything about him already. Hearing silence between you and Davey when his song changed, Harrison spared a glance over towards you. He was surprised when he found your eyes trained on him or, rather, trained on his abdomen that seemed to stick out from his tight white shirt. Still unaware of his eyes on you, your own eyes trailed up to his arms, watching as they flexed with each pull-up. Feeling flustered by your fixed gaze, Harrison faltered a little, and your eyes immediately darted back to Davey in front of you. Harrison couldn’t help the proud smile that ghosted his lips as he continued— you were checking him out.

Harrison finished his workout and decided to get cleaned up before heading to set in half an hour, leaving you and Davey in the gym. When he left, he was surprised that you were still spotting Davey, getting no work out in like you had planned. The whole time he was getting cleaned up (and brushing his teeth repeatedly to ensure he had good breath), he just kept picturing your staring in his head. He had worked very hard to get his body in this shape, and he was very proud of himself too, but he was even prouder that you’d clearly taken notice. If anything, it almost excited him that they’d be filming this scene today. There were a few times in this episode specifically in which Leo is shirtless, but none of those scenes had been filmed— and if this scene was going to be anything like it was scripted to be, then you’d definitely get a better show than in the hotel gym.

He didn’t see you again until the two of you were on set, in full costume and makeup. He had a loose shirt on, but underneath it, his chest had been painted with blues and purples to make convincing bruises. As he went to his mark, Leo’s makeshift bed on the floor of the cellar, Harrison spotted Davey across the set, looking bored and unhappy. His blue eyes drifted over to you next, and he refrained himself from smirking as he noticed your makeup artist applying chapstick to your lips.

While you gathered your prop lantern and the lights dimmed around you all, Harrison made himself comfortable under the ragged blankets. The director called out “Action!” and Harrison closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep as he waited for you to come into the shot. Hearing your footsteps, Harrison stirred, blinking his eyes open.

“Bea, is everything alright?” He asked, looking up at you as you stood over him.

“Let me see your body.” You said definitively.

“Beatrice—” He started, but you cut him off.

“Show me, Leo. I want to see it.” At your words, Harrison shifted slowly, moving as if in pain. He pulled the blankets down and went to roll up his shirt. “Take your top off.”

He paused, looking at you questioningly with a hint of fear in his eyes. Groaning a little, Harrison sat up and removed his shirt. He looked at you expectantly, and you set aside the lantern before kneeling on the blankets beside him. Your hand drifted over the painted bruise tentatively, ghosting over the same abs that you had been studying just hours earlier. Harrison waited for you to deliver your next line, knowing he was scripted to kiss you after it. It felt like ages that he was waiting for you, wanting nothing more than to kiss you right now. His mind went blank as your eyes found his and you leaned in to kiss him.

It was unscripted, and he was surprised, but he didn’t let his surprise stop him from immediately kissing you back. Your chapstick tasted of strawberries, just as it had the last time the two of you had a kissing scene, and he swore he was in love with the taste of it. He expected to hear the director yell cut, to hear him question why you suddenly improvised, but when nothing came, he just continued to kiss you. You pulled back, a shy smile on your face, “I don’t want you to hide your body from me anymore. It’s too nice to be hidden.”

His heart leapt as he leaned forward to catch your lips once more, this time scripted. His hands shuffled to your waist, pulling you down to lay beside him as he rolled onto his side, his chest leaning over yours. Your fingers tangled into his hair, and he savored the feeling.

You pulled back again, whispering up to him, “No more hiding.”

“No more hiding.” He reaffirmed. As he continued to kiss you, his hands sensually wandered down your back, keeping you as close to him as possible. Part of him wanted to pause the intimate scene and pinch himself, just to make sure it was really happening, but he was worried if he stopped kissing you now that he’d never get the opportunity to kiss you like this again.

“Cut!” The director called, and Harrison reluctantly pulled away from you. He could’ve sworn a small frown passed your lips as he looked down at you, not having shifted off of you yet.

“Spearmint— my favorite.” You teased quietly, as if it was only for the two of you to hear. As you laughed underneath him, Harrison couldn’t help but wonder what his younger self would think if he knew he’d one day get to make out with Y/N Y/L/N. Even if it was just for the show, it was a sight that he’d always want to remember.

“I’ve always enjoyed the taste of strawberries.” He replied softly, rolling away from you.

The director ran you two through a couple pointers for the scene, and, to Harrison’s surprise, he even suggested Bea kissing Leo first, just like you had improvised. You reasoned that you forgot your line momentarily, but something about the way you kissed Harrison made him feel like that wasn’t the case; no, it seemed like you’d truly wanted to kiss him.

After running through the scene a few more times, the director was satisfied. While you stayed behind on set to film more scenes, Harrison returned to his hotel room. Just as he was searching his toiletry bag for some much-needed chapstick, his phone began to ring with a Facetime call. Seeing Harry’s contact photo light up on his screen, he accepted and set his phone aside momentarily. He didn’t need to wonder what Harry (and most likely Tom, Tuwaine and maybe even Sam) were calling about— he had made the dire mistake of telling his easily-excited best friends about today’s scene.

“Why are we looking at your ceiling?” Harry asked almost immediately.

“I’m, uh, looking for lip balm.” Harrison admitted quietly and smiled to himself when he found some. He quickly put it on and then grabbed his phone, heading to his bed where he could comfortably talk to his friends.

As expected, his friends let out an incoherent chorus of excitement. Sam seemed to calm down enough first to ask (more like, shout through the phone), “How was it?”

“Does she really kiss with tongue? Remember Jack used to say-” Tom started, and Harrison scoffed, hearing the name of one of their old classmates who swears he had a summer fling with you once.

“I still don’t believe him, but no, not today at least.” Harrison was honestly a bit embarrassed to admit it. You were in a relationship… with a possibly cheating moron, but still. It just didn’t feel right to talk about you in that way.

“Not today? So there could be another time!” Tuwaine shouted encouragingly.

“Is she still with that prick?” Tom asked.

“Yes, but,” Harrison paused, and they all looked at him expectantly, waiting for elaboration, “I think he might be cheating on her.”

“What makes you say that?” Harry questioned. “Mate, just because you fancy her doesn’t mean her boyfriend’s a cheater.”

“No, I mean I heard him on the phone, and he said he was in Liverpool for business, not for his girlfriend.” He reasoned, “I’m just very suspicious of him.”

“You should tell her if you think he is.” Sam stated, “If he isn’t, then, oh no, you’re on bad terms with her boyfriend, who probably already hates you after today. If he is, well, she’d hate you if she finds out you kept it from her.”

Harrison let out a small sigh as the others nodded. “I don’t know. It’s not my place. Besides, she said something a few weeks about him wanting an open relationship. Maybe it’s that?”

“Okay, look, forget I asked about him.” Tom said, shaking his head, while the others looked at Harrison skeptically through the phone, “How was it to finally have your drama school dreams fulfilled?”

“Fucking heaven.” Harrison admitted with a laugh.

For the next week, Harrison resisted the urge to tell you about Davey. He wanted to, he really did, but whenever he’d finally be alone with you and mentally prepare himself for the conversation, you would always just seem so happy and content. He couldn’t bring himself to disturb your happiness, especially when it was Harrison making you happy. After Davey left, it’s like something changed within you, and Harrison had no clue what it was, but he enjoyed it.

‘You have to tell her.’ Harrison read over his most recent text from Tom again. He let out a small sigh, trying to get the courage to tell you as you sat across from him at the booth.

It was Saturday, and you two, along with Darci, Jojo, and McKell, had made your way to a club, wanting to celebrate another week down. With only two episodes left to film, you all knew your time together was starting to run low. You were all a few drinks in by now, happily buzzed. Jojo and McKell were off somewhere, probably attempting to be each other’s wingmen. Darci was telling you a story so wild that Harrison wondered if it was even true. He finished the rest of his drink and shuffled out of the booth.

“I’m going to grab another drink.” Harrison said to you two, and, without waiting for a response, he left. He made no move to flag down the bartender, leaning against an empty spot in the bar. Pulling on the collar of his blue shirt, he started to feel hot, unsure if he could handle this.

“What happened to getting another drink?” You asked him, stepping up beside him.

“Where’s Darci?” He replied, not wanting to answer your question.

“Found a friend in the crowd.” You laughed and turned to flag down the bartender. You ordered a round of shots, to Harrison’s surprise.

“Are you good?” He asked skeptically.

“Yeah,” You nodded, but with how your eyes were glazed over the alcohol and another unreadable emotion, Harrison didn’t quite believe you. Playfully, you nudged him, “I should ask you the same thing. You’re the one who’s been moping all night for god knows why.”

“I haven’t been moping.” He argued as a tray of four shots was placed in front of you two. You handed one to him and took one for yourself.

“Cheers to another week done.” You clinked your shot glass against his before both of you downed them.

As you went to grab your second shot, Harrison reached a hand and stopped you. Concerned, he asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Davey and I broke up— for good this time.” You admitted, and his hold on your wrist softened while he looked at you pitifully. “He told me when he was here that he went through with his ‘open relationship’ plan, even though I never agreed to it, so he’s been basically cheating on me since I left for this job. Then tonight, he drunkenly texts me, and I know it’s just a booty call. He’s done it for years, but now I actually see it for what it is. So now, my shitty boyfriend is gone, I’m finally single, and my only plans for tonight is to get properly drunk. Maybe even hookup with a stranger— god knows it’s been a while since I had decent sex.” Harrison was speechless, and you continued, a smile finding its way to your face at the end of your venting. “Dance with me after this shot?”

“Do I have a choice?” He asked playfully, feeling your mood lighten once more. You winked at him, handing him a full shot glass. He made a mental note to keep a close eye on you and to keep you from drinking anymore.

After you both drank back the burning liquid, you grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the dancefloor. Harrison had felt the alcohol that was flooding his system earlier, but the colored lights, pounding music, and countless bodies around him seemed to make the alcohol hit him harder. There was a weight off his shoulders, knowing you were actually single as you danced with him, and yet he still felt strange about his current state with you— were you truly into him or was he just the first guy you could drunkenly hook up with?

You turned to face him, a small frown on your face, “Haz, you’re being a bit of a killjoy.”

It was then that he realized, while you were fully grinding on his body, he was relatively motionless. Your hands found his, and you planted one on your hip and another on the small of your back, low enough though that it teetered being on your ass. You leaned in closer to him, letting him get a whiff of your perfume. While one of your hands trailed along the hem of his shirt, daring to even dip below his shirt, the other traced through his hair.

As you planted a kiss on Harrison’s neck, not caring at all for the dancing bodies around you, you heard him let out a strangled groan of your name. Your nails light scratched over the deep V in his hips, hooking onto where his jeans met the line.

“Should we get out of here?” You asked Harrison, your lips right next to his ear as your voice dripped with seduction. He felt his heart flip with intoxicating excitement before he was immediately reminded of the gravity of the situation. You went to kiss him, but he moved back quickly, stepping out of your reach. Pouting, you asked, “Do you not want me? After all this time?”

“No, I do.” Harrison insisted. “I want you, but not like this, not when you’re drunk. You’re not in the right headspace for this. I don’t want to be your drunken rebound.”

“How can you be a rebound when it’s always been you?”

Harrison sighed. Oh, how much he’d love to hear that from you— sober. He was saved from having to reply when Darci, McKell, and Jojo found you two. They looked at the two of you skeptically, but Harrison just shook his head.

“I’m going to take Y/N back to the hotel.” He said as he stepped closer to the group so that they could hear him over the music.

“We’ll come, too.” Jojo insisted, even though, with his words slurred and his eyes glazed over, he was thoroughly drunk, too.

“Where did Y/N go?” McKell asked, realizing your sudden absence.

“Oh god,” Harrison muttered, and the four of them dispersed in the crowd to find you, tripping over the other sweaty bodies. Darci found you first, unable to stop you from having a couple more shots.

“No, no, you’re done.” She argued with you. You reached for the last shot that she had taken from you, but, in your intoxicated state, you easily lost your balance. Harrison quickly wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you up.

“I don’t think she can walk.” Jojo commented.

“What gave that away?” McKell asked sarcastically.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” With a small sigh, Harrison, as the most sober of the group (though he still felt fairly tipsy), proceeded to lead you out of the club.

Darci hailed a cab for the five of you, and while it was an illegally tight fit, you all made it work. You leaned on Harrison as he was pressed right up against you. On your other side sat Jojo. You mumbled softly to Harrison, one of your hands falling onto his knee, “Do you remember that year when they put up mistletoe at school?”

“Where are you going with this?” He asked you softly.

“I saw you kiss Vivian at the one outside of the gym, and I couldn’t walk in that area for three months without thinking of you. I was so jealous of her, and you just looked like such a good kisser, which I’m happy to report you are.”

“Babes, maybe stop with the drunk talking.” Darci said, because all of you could tell this was stuff sober you would never say.

Harrison looked at you in surprise— he barely even remembered when Vivian dragged him under the mistletoe, so the fact that you remembered and were jealous? And you said he was a good kisser, too. He felt a glimmer of pride overcome him.

“Ask me tomorrow, it’s the truth.” You shuffled in your seat, laying your head against Jojo’s shoulder, “Jojo, wanna know a secret?”

“Y/N, maybe-” Darci started, but Jojo cut her off.

“No, go on, Y/N.” He laughed, wanting to hear your drunk thoughts.

“Do you think I’d make a good Catwoman?” You asked, words slurring together as you grew tired.

“Catwoman? Like Anne Hathaway?” He questioned, and you hummed a ‘yes’. “Yeah, you’d make a good Catwoman.”

“Good. Tell Haz he needs to my Batman then.” Your voice was quiet, as if it was something just meant for the two of you to hear, but your voice wasn’t nearly as soft as you had thought it was, meaning Harrison and the rest of your friends were truly aware of your little drunken secret

“Okay, I’ll tell him.” Jojo reassured you, a shit-eating grin on his face as he glanced over your head to look at the embarrassed Harrison.

The rest of the car ride was silent, and Harrison helped you out of your seat. With the help of the others, he got you safely inside your hotel room. Everyone retreated to their own rooms, except for Harrison who stayed with you. He laid you down on your bed and went searching for your pajamas, which to his luck were stowed underneath your pillow.

“Can you change or—?” Harrison asked, holding out the clothes to you

“I’ve got it, though I wouldn’t mind you helping.” You said with a wink. As you started to change out of your club clothes, Harrison turned away from you and focused on getting out some much-needed pain reliever and a glass of water for you to have in the morning. He heard you shuffle on the bed behind him before you let out a small huff, “Hazzy, can you come here?”

Hazzy— that was a new nickname. To his surprise, you were already tucked up in bed, your previously worn clothes scattered on the floor around you. He set the water and meds on your nightstand before kneeling to your level, “What’s wrong, love?”

“Do you know why Davey wasn’t my first love?” You asked quietly, your eyes beginning to droop with sleep. You reached a hand out to tentatively run your fingers over his cheek before you cupped it, smiling softly at him.

He had a hunch, but he played along anyway, wanting to hear you say it, in case he never heard it again. “Why?”

“Because you were.” Your voice was so quiet that he barely heard you, but he was so glad that he did. He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead, and you let your hand fall from his face.

“Get some sleep. We can talk in the morning.”

“Can you stay tonight? Please?”

“Of course, love.” Harrison stood to his full height, and when he looked at you again, you were already asleep. He softly readjusted the blankets on your bed to make sure you were warm enough, before he made his way over to the couch. Grabbing a throw blanket off the back of the couch, he settled into his bed for the night. Just like every other night lately, he drifted off thinking of you, but this time, there was an excited flutter in his heart.

The next day, Harrison woke up to you letting out a groan, loudly asking, “Why the fuck is it so bright in here?”

He slowly sat up from the couch to check on you. A smile crossed his face as you took the pain meds he’d left out and downed the glass of water. Your eyes seemed to bulge out of your head when you noticed his presence in the room. Laughing, he greeted you, “Good morning, sunshine.”

“Please tell me you miraculously don’t remember anything I said last night because I remember, and I don’t want to.” You said, pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Sorry to disappoint then.” He sent you a sympathetic smile.

With a sigh, you patted the spot beside you on your bed. Wordlessly, Harrison got up from the couch and came to sit beside you on the bed. He expected you to say something, but when you were silent, seemingly caught up in your thoughts, he spoke up, “Did you mean it? When you said I was your first love?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in your reply, and you turned to finally meet his eye, “It was a very intense schoolgirl crush, hence why I hated Vivian after that mistletoe incident, but seeing you again just made me realize that it was more than just a crush. I’ve regretted saying no to you all those years ago ever since you came back into my life.”

“Well, I thought I was over my crush on you, but turns out, there are just some things time can’t change.”

A comfortable silence overfell you two again before you finally spoke up with the words that had been on your mind for weeks, “I think I’m in love with you.”

“I think I’m in love with you, too.” Harrison sealed his words by leaning in to kiss you.

With no script to follow now, he felt fireworks as you kissed him back. One of your hands drifted to the back of his neck, silently urging him to continue kissing you. His hands snaked around your waist before he shifted to lay on his back, rolling you on top of him. You deepened the kiss, your tongue finding its way into his mouth. He moaned at first, fully enjoying himself, before his lips curved into a smile, and he started to laugh against your lips.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, pulling away from his lips. His hands wandered from your hips up to where your own hands were resting on his chest, and he casually intertwined your fingers.

“It’s nothing.” He said in an attempt to play it off, but the smile on his face told you that whatever he was thinking was hilarious to him. “You remember Jack Evans? He told everyone that you were the best french kisser in school, and, well, he’s not wrong.”

You let out a scoff before giggling to yourself, “First of all, how many girls have you french kissed from drama school and should I be jealous? Second of all, Jack was an ass who couldn’t kiss for shit, but I’ll take it as a compliment that he told everyone that.” You leaned down until your lips were just barely touching, “And thirdly, do you want to keep talking about drama school, or do you want me to keep kissing you?”

“You don’t need to be jealous, but I kinda like that you are.” He replied with a cheeky smile. “And you’re right. He was an ass.”

“And for the last one?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him.

Harrison pretended to think about it for a second before he let go of your hand to cup your cheek, bringing your lips crashing back down to his.

#harrison osterfield #haz osterfield #the irregulars #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield one shot #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield x you #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x you

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snarkywrites · 3 years

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Venus in Sagittarius: Renaissance Phase

Venus enters Sagittarius on December 15th, marking a moment of surprises and excitement since it is a day after the Solar Eclipse in the same sign. We will all benefit positively from this Venus transit since it will make a nice aspect to Mars which will allow us to be more passionate when it comes to pursuing our goals and dreams. Fearless, bold, and optimistic Venus in Sagittarius likes to keep things playful and exciting. While the rest of the planetary shifts happen this week, we can definitely look forward to the joyful times this month-long transit will bring to our signs. Nothing wrong with a little optimism, especially when it comes to love.

Look at Rising and Sun.

Aries – This transit is going to bring out those qualities that make you feel emboldened and fearless. Venus in Sagittarius coupled with the current Mars transit in your sign will be a time of great passion and drive for you. Seek out those interesting philosophical pursuits you have dreamt of. The adventurer comes out as you are more willing to invest in educational things that will help your advancement.

Taurus – Here you will experience a sense of apprehension as the nodes and the eclipses in Sagittarius are pushing you to evolve. The heightened intensity in your relationships will be pronounced with Venus in Sagittarius. You might feel more possessive of your partners at this time. To feel that stability, try and find a balance within.

Gemini – Romance could be in the air with this Venus transit happening in your house of relationships. This will be an eye-opening experience, even if you do not pair up with someone. Once again you are evaluating your needs and wants, opting for a more individualistic pursuit as you seek the things that bring you happiness. Nothing wrong with establishing boundaries and experiencing freedom.

Cancer – You will be working hard during this transit as we reach the end of 2020. One of the benefits being that with the Mars transit paired with Venus, you can achieve anything you set your sights on. That motivation and energy will be essential to get through the last weeks of this year. A change in your routine could happen during this transit since you will be keen on efficiency as well as enhancing productivity.

Leo – What a fun time to be a Leo during this Venus in Sagittarius transit. There could be drama, or new love happening. Use the inspiration you get now to tell stories (if you are the creative type). This is a great transit to explore spirituality, connect with people or just feel the love from partners (or potential romantic interests if you are single). This is your time to shine.

Virgo – The perfect time to welcome some nice changes to your immediate environment with this transit. You might have more interests now when it comes to home décor. Find things that make you feel comfortable, especially if you feel burnt out by this year. Venus in Sagittarius wants to bring harmony and some fun into your life.

Libra – Beneficial contacts will be a thing with this transit. You have a gift now, so if you are in the creative field, you will feel the influx of ideas take over and bring you more inspiration than usual. It will be your time to shine if you are either in school or work. What you have to say will be inspirational to others since your way of communicating will be more relatable and inspirational.

Scorpio – Money talks during this transit as you gear up to make some moves to enhance your stability. Venus in Sagittarius brings you that lucky streak with its optimistic energy making you feel like the boss you really are. You will be more detail oriented now and motivated to learn more about financial and business pursuits.

Sagittarius – Things begin to shift starting with the Solar Eclipse in your sign. These transits are bringing some uneasy days but overall positive changes to your life. This Venus transit also in your sign will really open your eyes and allow you to appreciate every aspect of yourself. Expect that confidence boost. During your transformation phase, you might feel ready to sport a new look or just be you. Either way, you will seem more impressive to others.

Capricorn – This is a good resting phase for you since you have been giving it your all this year. As Saturn gets ready to move to Aquarius, you should take the time to rest and relax. Venus wants you to feel the comforts of home calming the effects of Mars and giving you the chill time you have desired. This is also a great time to get into meditating or getting into art to release stress.

Aquarius – Good connections will come with this Venus transit. You are in a transition phase as Saturn gears up to enter your sign this week as well. The support and love from friends and family will be a good boost during this month. Keep in touch with others over social media to experience the fun with this Venus transit.

Pisces – Positive changes are on the horizon for you, Pisces. This transit has you reaching for the stars as Venus encounters the highest point in your chart. There could be surprises given that the eclipse was also in this sign. The shift in momentum has you anxious but excited to see what else awaits you. Continue to focus on your goals to achieve optimum success during this lighthearted transit.

#Venus in Sagittarius #Astrology #Transits #Horoscopes #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces

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jesuisgourde · 3 years

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gay/queer references in Peter’s journals

Again, I have probably missed stuff due to going through pretty quickly and also due to having stared at this document for so long, everything has kind of blurred together.

Sometime close to the day that Carlos & I watched 'Love And Death on Long Island' (and afterwards paraded through the tea rooms of Picadilly) we both filled in application forms and were tres excited to be invited to the same group 'interview' - twas more like an audition though. I got the part. Carlos never. This did not bring any animosity - we both know that success for either of us is magnified a million times if it is shared by us both.

from 'A Diamond Guitar' by Truman Capote "Except that they did not combine their bodies or think to do so, though such things were not unknown at the (Prison), they were as lovers. Of the seasons, spring is the most shattering: stalks thrusting through the earth's winter-stiffened crust, young leaves cracking out on old left-to-die branches, the falling asleep wind cruising through all the newborn green. And with Mr Schaeffer it was the same, a breaking up, a flexing of muscles that had hardened. It was late January. The friends were sitting on the steps of the sheep house, each with a cigarette in his hand. A moon thin and yellow as a piece of lemon rind curved above them, and under its light, threads of ground frost glistened like silver snail trails. Tico Feo had been drawn into himself - silent as a robber waiting in the shadows."

Then a meet with Bounds Green's African prince outside whitechapel tube, rugged lookies at I in military attire & to a ruptured Albion rooms tidied in hours and now lids drawn heated on the eyes. A young looking fella has a crush on me.

Jackie/Camillia/Marie/Kate/Chris/V. churchill Jackie/Evelina/Jasmine/Sachi/Dalston/Sussie Sandra/Carlene/FP/Jay/Dalston/Kraut

There sat a young black man, perhaps in his early or middle twenties. He looked for all the world like the archetypal rude boy. Clean, cheap reebok, nike, adidas variously rolled, laced & zipped about his lean, spreadeagled body that hung loosely about the waiting room chair. Gold & tattoos adorned his person, and a blank animal look was attached to his clear face. He sat before me in a row of four empty chairs, staring at polished floor or the mundane television. A balding white man minced in & all perceptions were suddenly proven to be false as they embraced and snuggled up to each other, giggling & whispering & touching each others noses.... very much in love, fingers crossed for the blood tests.

[Image: an article from Gay Times of an interview with Peter. For some reason, the portrait included alongside the article is of Carl wearing a grey and black t-shirt.] Name? Peter Doherty Age? 22 Where are you? I'm on the motorway just north of Southampton. What kind of day are you having? (Vaguely) Erm... quite misty. Something's waiting around the corner, but there are no corners on the motorway, so we'll just have to wait and see what lies ahead. Maybe something will happen tonight.... What's this we hear about you once being a rent boy? Well, when times are hard, duty calls. How long ago was it? When I was 19, about three years ago. How do we know this isn't just a Shaun Ryder-type lie? 'Cause if it was, it would make me a complete scumbag and I'm not, and I'm not interested in that kind of pantomime. It wasn't a very happy time. I didn't really enjoy it. Why did you give it up? (grimly) Well, certain people disappeared... and anyway, ultimately I found myself no longer in such a vulnerable position anymore. Dawn broke, and I realised that it was a beautiful world after all. Have you done any other dodgy jobs? All of us in the band have tried to deal, but it's not good if you like the drugs too much. You just end up using them yourself! I once was a gravedigger. I used to do it with my mate in Willesden Green cemetery. We didn't actually do the digging, a machine did that, but we used to have to fill them in. It was pretty grim work. So are you gay then? Love is love, wherever it comes from. I'm not anything, really. I am a very sexual person but... I dunno, I believe in liberty... The Marquis de Sade has a lot to answer for... Do you get a lot of gay fans? Yeah - well, there's one guy in particular. He's very shy and he follows us around. He brings in letters and cards and stuff, but he's very quiet. I think John (the bassist) is the main pulling power in the band. Are you jealous about that? Nah! I've known him too long.

You know I'm alright i dont even care i like it when they stare & stare call me queer, dear oh dear a million things & what I wear He's real hard when he's with his mates but I'll saw him again & he was too late

Dear NME I'd have thought after the Gay Times piece, the interview with Rapture fanzine & our recent gig at the Slum Club everything would be clear. No it still remains to give a big hearty fuck off to all these twisted suburban types calling me a liar. Vulnerable young men & women all over the world find themselves victims of circumstance.

she was dressed in suit & tie & lightly etched-on moustache. 'I've always wanted to kiss a bird in the back of a taxi.' she says, running her hand up the fishnet ladders of my thigh. Stepping onto the front line in Bow puddles, elevators, buzzing doors,

[Image: the original page in the book has been preserved. Two paragraphs have been boxed off with biro. They read:] “...cast Richard Burton and Rex Harrison as bickering queer barbers and then much more uncompromisingly in William Friedkin's adaptation of The Boys in the Band (1970), which introduced some of the plainer four letter words in the English language to the screen for the first time. 'Who,' asks Cliff Gorman, in his brilliant portrayal of the most effeminate of the homosexual group as they gather for a soul-searching party, 'Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?' Other homosexual manifestations to occur in movies around this time included an elliptical but unmistakeable male fellatio scene in John Schlesinger's Midnight Cowboy (1969) when Jon Voight, as a broke and disillusioned Texas stud importunes in a New York cinema....”

[Image, top left: a blurry photo of John onstage, playing bass. Image, top right, sideways: a photo of the band onstage. Carl and John are on the left, sharing a mic. Peter is on the right, playing guitar and singing into his own mic. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his bottom half from the chest down is visible. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his top half from shoulders up is visible. Image, bottom left: a torn fragment of a photo. What looks like a denim-clad knee and a yellow carrier bag are visible. Image, bottom middle: a photo of someone's knee in torn jeans, taken from under a table. Image, bottom right: a torn photo of Carl in a black sleeveless shirt, posing with his fingers in his mouth.] [A paragraph from the original page of the book has been left exposed and boxed off with black biro. It reads:] “The Boys in the Band was displaced by an immeasurably more powerful portrayal of homosexual groups, Fortune and Men's Eyes (1971). Set in a Quebec prison, this disturbing, factually based drama vividly recounted the corrupted of a heterosexual convict trapped in a tough, potentially vicious homosexual society. In one horrifying scene, a weak, put-upon prisoner is gang-banged by his fellow inmates; in another, the 'hero' is blackmailed by his cellmate into accepting him as his lover for the duration...”

Like a cat on a hot tin roof Like a macho man in a roomful of poofs I have tried in my way to be free.

[Written in Peter's handwriting] Jerome... is that how it's spelt? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes it is [Written in Peter's handwriting] Can I read you something? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes please.....

I insist, new book of Albion, befuddled by drugs I may yes about 2 but I do not miss out entirely on the subtleties of the inhuman relation ships that are this the mainstay of my stay here in one bounce of a loaf. Boys are fooled into fooling with boys. [...]

More general references/some extra explanations:

“The boy looked at Johnny” is a line from Patti Smith's song “Horses,” part one of a three-part song called “Land.” In the song, a young man named Johnny is assaulted by another man in a locker room; he then mentally journeys to other fantastical lands and visions. A lot of people interpret it as being about gay sex, although some people interpret it as being about a stabbing.

Peter quotes and references Jean Genet's writing and works about Jean Genet many times. While Genet's works are nearly all about crime and prison (one of Peter's main interests and points of fascination), all of his works are very explicitly gay. The Thief's Journal is more about Genet's various lovers than it is about his criminal history. Our Lady Of The Flowers is about a drag queen and her criminal lovers, and is also extremely erotic.

(“Jerome” is Jerome Alexandre, vocalist of The Deadcuts, who was friends with Peter and Mark Keds.)

#squash transcribes books of albion #peter doherty #feel free to request compilations of other kinds too

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caffernnn · 3 years

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OK so.. the movie spoilers suggest that there's some big drama going on between Haru and Rin (and if there's big drama between characters in the first movie, then of course there's bound to be a big emotional resolution in the second one); also, Makoto and Sousuke seem to be spending time together in the movie, so.. I'm almost afraid to ask but.. do you think it's possible KyoAni has decided to go with rin/haru and sou/mako for the 'endgame' ships after all?

⚠️ Talking about Free! Final Stroke spoilers below the cut ⚠️

From the different spoilers, summaries, and fan reactions I’ve seen so far, I’m not necessarily getting that vibe.

For one, I wouldn’t think that they’d lean too far into establishing any ships as endgame, especially any ones with those big four. It benefits them too much to keep things ambiguous, letting different pairs have their moments together (whether in the show, side stories like the birthday stories, or positioning/proximity to each other in different merch campaigns). Maybe I’m wrong here, but considering how heated people can get with certain pairings, I’d doubt they’d make a full leap into any of those camps and potentially polarize large parts of the fan base.

Outside marketing interpretations aside, it makes a lot of sense to see more of Haru interacting with Rin and Makoto interacting with Sousuke. I think I mentioned it in one of my first theory posts about the movie, but it seemed natural that Rin would come back to the forefront alongside Haru after their relationship being pushed into the background for a large chunk of DttF. Now they have the proximity (competing in Sydney together, Rin coming back to Japan for a bit) and motivation to check in with each other as friends and rivals. With how things lined up at the end of DttF and with some scenes in Timeless Medley, it makes sense to see Sousuke and Makoto spending more time together alongside Nao, as their current dreams are placing them on that supportive training/coaching path. They’re supportive of their best friends who are off racing (there were apparently moments where Sousuke and Makoto reflect specifically on their relationships with Rin and Haru), but they’re also in Tokyo with their own ambitions to work hard towards. All of this is to say that getting to see those pairings and relationships (not implying if they’re anything beyond platonic; choose what makes you happy) get more screentime doesn’t feel like it’s out of left field to me, which I might expect if certain agendas were to be forced. I talk about my personal favorite ships a lot on here, but I think part of the draw of fr! comes from how swimming has allowed these characters to make so many strong and important bonds together beyond just their best friends. The “everybody knows everybody” phenomenon in the Free!verse does feel bizarre at times, but it does do a good job of feeding into the show’s emphasis on swimming being the thing to encourage interconnectivity (even if characters’ own demons occasionally warp the sport into a means of isolation and self-destructive behaviors).

Looking at Haru and Rin’s drama (with the few details we have without seeing the movie for ourselves yet) I think it’s important to recognize how the conflict is probably bigger than just the two of them. The details I’ve seen lead me to believe that their blowup comes at a peak moment of Haru beginning to implode on himself, much like Makoto and Haru’s fight in ES. Haru lashing out at Makoto was about them, of course, but it was also a chance for Haru to blow up about feeling cornered by way too many people in his life to go down a singular expected path. I imagine Haru and Rin’s fight functions largely the same way, where he’s using their own bumpy past to lash out, but the heat behind it all stems from a greater feeling of loneliness, from a fear that everyone is leaving his side again and the choice of “swimming vs. bonds” will be made for him when he’s left all alone. It seems like they make that point more obvious too, with the whole “Albert possessing him” angle (which sounds weird on its own and I saw many fans angry about the “unexpected darkness,” but hear me out). The important part, at least from the details I’ve seen, isn’t that Haru is being mean in a way that feels foreign, but that he is recognizing in the moment that these aren’t the words he should be saying, that he’s actively regretting destroying his relationship with Rin for a separate agenda, even if he feels he can’t stop himself (the “ghost of Haru” floating outside of his body and yelling or whatever). I’m super excited to see this moment for myself, because so many people described it as a huge tone shift from the majority of the movie and feeling uncomfortable and potentially ooc for Haru. I want to see for myself if it actually feels out of left field, or if it lines up with the growing darkness we’ve been talking about seeing start to manifest in Haru for awhile.

Final thing, even though I’ve seen less details or consistent accounts for it, Makoto and Haru end up having their own rift start to form as Haru begins making his sacrifices for swimming. Makoto seems to have another nightmare sequence where he can’t reach Haru (which I am SO pumped to look more into, especially to compare it to other dreams shown throughout the series), and that fear starts to manifest when Haru starts closing himself off and saying that they won’t be seeing each other for awhile. I want more information about Makoto’s position in that conversation, because it doesn’t sound like it was a big blow up, and there’s apparently something concerning going on with him. People were saying that it seemed like he wanted to say something or give something to Haru, but before he could confront him again, he conveniently gets whisked off to go check on Ran and Ren. It’s hard to make any statements on any of these details before knowing fully what happened (playing telephone with spoiler recaps will be the death of me). The point of me even bringing up their conflict is that Haru choosing to “give up someone/something for swimming” was always going to ripple out beyond a single bond, and he’ll have a lot of burnt bridges to mend if or when he figures out a lonely path to glory isn’t glory for him after all.

#spoilers #final stroke spoilers #give me this movie; I want to rip it apart #thanks for asking!#anonymous

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blogger360ncislarules · 3 years

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Warning: The following contains major spoilers for Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. Proceed at your own risk!

Oh, how the tables have turned! Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist wrapped up its second season on Sunday with a heart song — but this time, it was Zoey doing the singing! And on the receiving end of her musical declaration of love was Max, who could suddenly hear Zoey’s heart song!

Prior to that cliffhanger, Zoey and Simon had split up, and then the titular gal got a dream visit from her dad, who encouraged her to take risks and really live life. So Zoey decided to rush to the airport to stop Max from leaving for New York City with Rose. But when she got there, she heard Max sing “When a Man Loves a Woman” and left without saying a word, assuming the tune was about Rose. However, when Max unexpectedly showed up at the park where Zoey was sitting forlornly, it was obvious the ode was about her.

Max explained that he and Rose broke things off because they could both tell his mind was on someone else. Then as Zoey declared that she was all in, she started to break out in a rousing performance of Modern English’s “I Melt With You,” shocking a bewildered Max.

Below, showrunner Austin Winsberg breaks down the big powers twist and what it means for Max and Zoey’s romantic future. (And for the latest intel on Zoey’s Season 3 odds, keep tabs on our 2021 Renewal Scorecard.)

TVLINE | What excited you about this twist with the powers and what it opens up for a potential Season 3? I’m always trying to think of new ways that we can twist and spin and do new things with the powers. We had talked about this pretty early on in Season 1, the idea of Max getting the powers at some point. Certainly, when you think of superhero origin stories, there seems like there’s always a place in the superhero shows where they find somebody else who also has powers. So we liked the idea of being able to do our own version of that.

But the other thing that we had really established a lot in Season 1, especially in Season 2, as well, was this idea that Max feels like there’s an inequality in their relationship, because Zoey has the ability to hear what’s going on in his heart, in his brain, and he doesn’t get to do the same with her. I think in any relationship in life, there needs to be some degree of equality in order for the relationship to work. So just in terms of thinking how could Zoey and Max work long-term, for me, it was important for Max to have an understanding of what it’s like for Zoey to experience heart songs. And I also like the idea that Max could know what’s going on in Zoey’s head as well. And certainly, from a romantic comedy perspective, to be able to play stories where these two people are in a relationship, but they also know exactly what the other person is thinking about, felt like ripe ground for storylines.

TVLINE | To clarify, both Max and Zoey have powers at the end of the finale? Or is it that the powers have transferred from Zoey over to Max? I don’t want to clarify that entirely yet.

TVLINE | Zoey is sometimes a guarded person. So how will this impact her, and how will she feel about Max having all this insight into her? That’s all stuff to explore in Season 3. But I certainly think that it opens up a whole new area of stories to tell, stories about him experiencing heart songs, stories about her having to help him with heart songs, stories about him hearing her heart songs and what that means for their relationship. It just adds new interesting layers of complexity and complication.

TVLINE | Zoey’s heart song was so exuberant, so joyous and free. Were there other songs that were in consideration for that moment, or was it always “I Melt With You”? For some reason, that was the song I kept going back to. Obviously, there are a lot of love songs out there. We might have danced around a few others. But it just always felt right to me. It felt right for Jane [Levy’s] voice. I liked the idea that the first song we ever heard in the pilot was “It’s the End of the World as We Know It,” and this song [goes], “l’ll stop the world and melt with you.” I thought there was some nice bookend world specificity to both of those. I liked that she said, “Making love to you was never second best,” after the whole Zoey/Simon/Max of it all. There was just something about it that felt very right to me, so I stuck to that one pretty quickly.

TVLINE | Speaking of the whole Zoey/Simon/Max of it all, talk to me about Zoey’s choices with regards to Simon and Max in this episode. What went into the thinking behind those decisions? When I mapped out the arc of the season, from the very beginning, I wanted to make sure that Zoey wasn’t indecisive and vacillating between both guys and not making moves in either direction. So I really felt like what was going to frustrate audiences with this idea of Zoey not picking either one. And so we made a conscious choice that I thought was a bold choice for her to choose Max at the end of Episode 1, and for them to at least try to do that and sort of realize pretty quickly that it’s still too early in her grief for her to really be ready for a relationship.

I did feel like because of the dynamic that had been created between Zoey and Simon, and the chemistry between them, I felt like that Zoey really needed to play that out in some way. And we found as we were breaking Episodes 9, 10 and 11, and dealing with the relationship stuff between Zoey and Simon, that there was a fundamental thing that she was keeping from him, which is telling him about the powers. I think that she was afraid to really open up to him that way and afraid of what that might mean, especially since their entire way that they met in the pilot was predicated on a little bit of deception in some way. I think she just didn’t feel like she could be open with him or wanted to be open with him in that way, and then the power kept getting in the way of things between them. It just felt like they were both trying really hard to make it work. So I liked the idea of exploring something where the fantasy of it or the expectation of it is maybe not as rewarding or fulfilling for either of them when they’re actually in it. It was always leading to this place, for me, that Zoey and Simon were going to break up at the end of the season, and then to see how it played out with her and Max.

It was just important to me to not make Simon feel like the victim in it, to not hurt Simon. That’s why I wanted him to be the one to say, “I think we should break up,” and then to also give Simon his own victories in the episode [as the boss of SPRQ Point’s new minority-run acquisition], because we’ve seen Simon at his depths of despair in Season 1, and I didn’t want to end in that way. I wanted to end him in a more positive, forward-facing place and feeling like he’s excited about the future.

TVLINE | Between the breakup with Simon and Zoey, and Zoey’s declaration to Max at the end, is it safe to say the love triangle is officially concluded, and moving forward, it’s about Zoey and Max giving it a real try? Certainly, my intentions going forward are that she and Max are going to try to make it work in a real way. And I don’t have intentions to uproot that or implode that, but it’s also TV storytelling. You have to create complications and challenges in relationships. Otherwise, if there’s no conflict, you don’t have a show. But certainly, my intention moving forward is to approach Zoey and Max dating and being together in a meaningful way, for them to try to work out their differences and their challenges together.

TVLINE | It seemed like a very deliberate and mature choice to have Zoey come to the airport and not stand in the way of Max and Rose. But then it ends up being on Max to make the first move. So how did you come to the conclusion that that’s the way the chain of events needed to go? In the spirit of not wanting to pit women against women or men against men, and what that would actually look like if you approached someone outside of the airport and said, “Pick me over her,” it’s pretty dramatic. I also felt like there was a delightful mislead that she hears him sing “When a Man Loves a Woman,” and she thinks that’s about Rose, and fundamentally, Max’s happiness is what’s more important to Zoey, and she doesn’t want to take that away from him. And so even though the reveal at the end is that he was actually singing that song about Zoey, I think that Zoey and Max have always had the other person’s best interest in mind, as evidenced when he gave up the job for her in the last episode. So I think for her, that was that wakeup call moment, where his happiness was more important to her than maybe her own loss in that moment.

TVLINE | You set up a really wonderful romance for Mo this season. Is there anything you can hint about what we could expect in a Season 3, if that goes forward? Part of the design of the season was to wrap up certain chapters in these characters’ lives or at least put some conclusion on it, but also set the path forward for everybody. And for me, I’m really excited about Mo and Perry. I think David St. Louis has been a great addition to the cast as Perry. I’m really excited to see what it looks like for Mo to be in a real adult relationship, but also to be in a complicated adult relationship with kids and an ex-husband, and the prospect of a character who is kind of an independent, free character getting brought into a domestic life, and maybe getting a little bit more than he bargained for, kind of insta-family. There’s a lot of opportunity for comedy and drama within that.

And I’m really excited for the next chapter for Maggie, too, and this idea of Maggie, potentially, slowly dipping her toes back into the dating world… The idea of Maggie and Deb as partners in crime, and Maggie exploring the idea of how a woman of a certain age, what it actually looks like for her to try to go back into the dating world in a meaningful way, I think there are a lot of stories we can derive from that.

#zoey's extraordinary playlist

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min-youngis · 4 years

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Run! - m.l

gif not mine

~ Pairing : Mark Lee x Reader

~ Genre : Fluff, Humour, Lowkey Crack

~ Summary/Excerpt : “What?” you whisper, suddenly noticing how close he is. You can feel his breath fanning across your nose. “Can we start hanging out at your place again?” he asks, ruining the unintentional moment. “Why?” you enquire, shaking off his effect, eyebrow raised as you keep half your attention focused on what’s happening in the adjacent room and the other half on the conversation.

“There are less people to piss off there."

Your boyfriend has an oftentimes shocking presence of mind that's very beneficial to you.

Established Relationship

~ Word Count : 2,499 (nice!)

~ Warnings : uhh some suggestiveness, some kissing

~ A/N : mark lee has come for me and i am very confused bc suddenly, i'm seeing him in a way i've never seen him before, i just wanna hold his hand.

i'd love to hear feedback, spread the love!

masterlist in my description.

~~~

“Y/N, no.”

“Y/N, yes.”

“Y/N, maybe?” Jisung meekly asks from his place in between the two of you glaring at each other from either end of the couch.

“Shut up,” you both say simultaneously. He retreats immediately, leaning behind and letting you snap back to doing what you were doing earlier. When Taeyong stuck him there in the hope that his presence might abate the standoff, he hadn’t foreseen the poor child being passingly bullied.

“I won’t do it,” Mark says again, obstinate, lips set in a determined line. “We could get in trouble.”

“I’ll ask Haechan and then you’ll get in even more trouble,” you confidently reply, gratified by the gasp you get from Jisung next to you and vaguely rueful that you had snapped at him earlier.

Mark looks like he’s struggling with himself, fists clenched on his lap as his dark eyes don’t leave yours, fight slowly leaving them in recognition of a lost challenge.

“Fine, but only if Jisung comes along.”

Both of you ignore the boy in question squawking out an alarmed, “What?” as he shoots forward, only to be pushed back by you and Mark leaning forward, identical scowls on your faces; yours annoyed and vaguely impressed at his condition and his cocky about managing to cause this minor inconvenience to your, in his opinion, delinquency.

You wonder if you can scare him into agreeing to your terms by glaring hard enough, but you know that he’s probably immune to it by now.

“Fine,” you bite out, cursing his stupid, glinting eyes and the stupid, satisfied upturn quirk of his lips that annoyingly soften the blow of your defeat. “But Haechan is on look out.”

Jisung moans lowly in misery, head cupped in his hands. Mark makes a big show of patting his shoulder in reassurance, accusingly looking at you as if to say ‘See what you’ve gone and done to him.’ There’s a small crack in the façade, as his lips pinch together in an effort to keep from twitching in amusement at the sheer gravity of the situation and how seriously you’re all taking this, and it’s all you can do to not call off the project and drag him to his room and just make out.

He knows. Of course, he knows. And now you’re both playing a different game, a more dangerous game of Who’s Going To Cave First as the staring turns more intense, Mark’s hand subconsciously stilling on Jisung's shoulder and your arms tightening in their crossed position.

“Backing out? Wanna go do something else instead?” Mark asks, voice low and leaving no room for doubt about the something else he’s referring to. It’s a daring move, one which he wouldn’t have attempted if any of the older members were in the room.

The tiny hitch in your breath is masked by Jisung, who hasn’t quite picked up on what’s going on, whining with suppressed hope, “Yes, please go do something else. This is a very, very bad idea.”

Before you can reply (in the negative, because you aren’t a coward and you will not be side-tracked by Mark’s whore-ish propositions even if he’s looking at you like you’re the camera lens and he’s in the middle of a spicier kind of photoshoot), a curious, excited voice comes from behind the couch, making all three of you snap your necks in its direction to look at the new entrant.

“What’s a very, very bad idea?” Haechan asks, gleeful expression on his face that distantly reminds you of the purple, smiling devil emoji.

No turning back now.

You don’t bother with any preliminaries. When there’s mischief involved, Haechan doesn’t need any convincing. Just an audience and somebody to antagonise.

“Doyoung's white chocolate,” you whisper-shout so nobody in the kitchen can hear, breath slowing down and brain moving focus to the extraction mission at hand.

Haechan’s eyes gleam in anticipation as he asks unhesitatingly, “What’s the plan?”

Satisfied, you get up from the couch, signalling the new entrant to take your place as you contentedly say, “This is why you’re my favourite.”

Mark scoffs and you shoot him a wink, standing in front and facing the boys. Haechan looks feverish in his excitement, Mark looks partly betrayed and partly amused, and Jisung just looks like he’s regretting every decision in his life that’s led him here.

“Jisung, you’re our first line of defence. You need to lure Taeyong and Jaehyun out of the kitchen and then go make sure Doyoung doesn’t leave his room.”

He whines is consternation and mumbles to himself faintly, “I just came here for food.”

You move on. “Haechan, you’re on look out.”

“I don’t think you’re fully utilising my potential.”

“You can stop everybody at the door with embarrassing stories about Mark,” you cajole, dangling your worm on a hook.

Haechan shushes Mark’s offended ‘Hey!’ with a wave of his hand as he scrutinises your unmoving frame, fingers stroking his non-existent goatee. “Do they have to be true?”

“Not at all,” you reply, pleasantly grinning in approval at the way his mind works. He nods in satisfaction and shoots a finger gun at Mark who’s in the middle of an eye roll, before leaning back languidly and stretching an arm along the top of the couch, beginning to mutter encouragement to a defeated and vaguely disbelieving looking Jisung.

You turn to your sullen boyfriend, petulant pout on his face as he sits with his arms crossed.

“Mark.”

He grunts shortly in reply. You’ll take it.

“You’re with me. We enter the kitchen when Jisung gives us the signal. I get the goods, you cover me in case anybody gets in.”

He seems relieved with his position, grudgingly nodding, probably realising that he can get away with pretending to just be in the wrong place at the wrong time if you guys get caught.

“What about the distribution?” Haechan asks, suddenly suspicious.

“Forty, twenty, twenty, twenty,” you reply, first pointing at yourself before running through the people on the couch.

Immediately, you’re assaulted by loud protests of ‘Absolutely not!’ and ‘I’m going through this shit for twenty percent?’

Your only ally is Jisung, who looks startled at the sudden noise and worriedly shoots a glance at the kitchen door to the left out of which the steady sound of conversation pauses momentarily before resuming once you pacify the clamour.

“God, okay, fine. A quarter each, are you happy now?” you hiss in annoyance.

They stand down, appeased. Haechan’s evil, gremlin smile is back as he stands up, rubbing his hands together in expectation. “Let’s get this party started.”

Mark and Jisung are significantly slower in their approach, and you try to infuse as much enthusiasm in your voice as you can when you tell Jisung to ‘Go, go, go.’

The rest of you tip-toe towards the kitchen, crouching behind the island counter right outside as Jisung shoots one last pleading look to the ceiling. On receiving no divine intervention, he sighs slowly and shakes his head a bit before squaring his shoulders and entering the kitchen.

You’re crouched in between Haechan and Mark, all of you slightly leaning towards the open door so you can hear what’s happening. Behind you, your boyfriend gently pinches at your waist and you turn around impatiently.

“What?” you whisper, suddenly noticing how close he is. You can feel his breath fanning across your nose.

“Can we start hanging out at your place again?” he asks, ruining the unintentional moment.

“Why?” you enquire, shaking off his effect, eyebrow raised as you keep half your attention focused on what’s happening in the adjacent room and the other half on the conversation.

“There are less people to piss off there,” he replies, looking pointedly at you as a loud laugh comes from the kitchen and you hear footsteps approaching. Jisung’s got a bright future ahead of him.

Before you can respond, Haechan’s hissing at you two to shut up and the next second, Jisung, Taeyong and Jaehyun are walking out, the latter two in dance clothes and Jisung wearing a strained sort of smile. The three of you bend down lower, quiet as mice until the youngest in your group shoots a thumbs up behind his back as they all leave the living room, after which you softly but urgently rise.

“Haechan, I’m counting on you,” you say in farewell as he takes his post a few feet from the door, Mark getting antsy next to you.

“Let’s get this chocolate,” he replies with a curt nod, shortly saluting before he leans against the wall, shooting surreptitious glances this way and that completely unnecessarily because there’s only one entrance to the living room and it’s dead ahead. But who are you to begrudge his proclivity for drama?

“Can we get this over with?” Mark sighs, resigned.

You enter the kitchen, eyes focused on the refrigerator. Silently, you walk towards it, signalling Mark to stand behind you as you slowly pull it open, muting the suction as well as you can.

“Why do we have to be so quie-"

“Shh,” you harshly whisper, interrupting his dumb question. In the living room, you hear Haechan cheerily say, “Hey, Jungwoo! You remember that time Mark farted in his sleep?”

You stop rummaging around long enough to turn and raise a single eyebrow at a scandalised Mark. “Tha- That isn’t true!” he sputters at your amused expression.

You only hum in response before turning back to the fridge. You spot the wrapper behind a bottle of water and pull it out as you softly grin. “Got it,” you mutter, making to close the fridge, chocolate cover in one hand.

Mark is fidgeting from side to side, waiting for you to finish up and you finally turn around with a victorious smile.

And then from outside, you hear footsteps approaching.

“Doyoung, you wanna watch that interview where Mark’s voice broke three times in a minute?”

“Maybe later. I’m gonna get some food first.”

Immediately, you both freeze.

“What do we do?” you mouth at Mark, panic evident in your eyes.

He looks at you, then at the damning packet in your hands and back up to your face before darting to the door. Any moment now, Doyoung is going to walk in, catch you in the act of stealing his beloved white chocolate and raise hell. An angry Doyoung is a scary Doyoung.

You’re still frozen in place, mind racing but reaching nowhere, when Mark gets this determined look on his face.

This had better be good.

In a single, long stride, he’s right in front of you, eyes blazing as he mumbles, “Let’s get this chocolate,” echoing Haechan’s words from earlier before he bends down and kisses you firmly, arms coming around your waist.

You squeak in surprise against his lips before you relax and your eyes flutter shut, hand holding the cover trapped safely out of sight between your bodies, your other arm coming up to rest on his shoulder.

It is, in fact, good. You’re vaguely impressed by his enterprise and his...er, methods.

Distantly, you hear Doyoung gag as he enters the room before he whines, “Guys, come on, not in the kitchen.”

Mark grins against your lips as you both pay no mind to his protests. If anything, it only spurs you further, him tightening his arms around your frame and you pressing closer.

And then, in the silence that follows, the loud sound of plastic crinkling emerges from somewhere near your abdomen.

For the second time in maybe as many minutes, you’re frozen in place, body stiff as Mark stills too.

He slowly, very slowly moves away a minuscule amount so as to not disturb the cover any further. “Do you think he left?” he mumbles, too scared to turn around and check.

Your eyes are still closed, preferring to believe that you’re both alone in the room, but the dangerously low voice that comes from somewhere near the entrance of the kitchen says otherwise.

“What was that?” Doyoung asks in a tone that suggests that he knows exactly what it was.

Of course, at that moment, Haechan enters, observes what’s going on and quickly says, “I tried to warn you. I just wanted to spare you the sight of Mark and Y/N sucking face.”

You peek over Mark’s shoulder, subtly shaking your head, trying to tell Haechan to shut up, fool. In the movement, the offending wrapper lets out another loud sound.

Your eyes snap to Doyoung. He looks like he’s forcing himself to be calm, taking slow, deep breaths but his eyes fixed on Mark’s back, like he’s trying to use X-ray vision.

“Is that my chocolate?” he asks threateningly softly. Haechan’s once cheerful expression morphs into one of abject worry and Mark’s breath hitches.

There’s only one thing to do then.

“RUN!”

At your yell, Mark jumps away from you, faking left before running right, Doyoung’s fingertips skimming the fabric of his hoodie. With an anguished yell, the aggrieved man turns his attention to you, eyes narrowed at the packet in your hands. Behind him, you see Haechan and Mark waving wildly above their heads, the former making monkey noises just to add some spice to the scene.

You wait until he advances a little closer, wait for him to finish his slow threat (“Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you,”), before lobbing the packet quickly over his head as you shout, “INCOMING!”

Both you and Doyoung watch with bated breath as the chocolates soar, arcing higher, going beyond his outstretched fingers, just out of Mark’s reach before landing neatly in the hands of a startled Jisung.

There’s silence for a long second. The boy looks confused, like he just caught the thing on instinct. His gaze slowly moves from the cover to everybody staring straight at him with varying degrees of desperation.

“Jisung,” Doyoung starts cautiously, gently moving forward so as to not startle him. “Why don’t you give me the chocolates?”

You follow suit, standing next to him. “Jisung,” you state, voice firm. “Twenty five percent.”

He scans each face standing in the row in front of him, from Mark to you to Doyoung to Haechan. His expression becomes sly, eyes narrowing, jaw set.

“You know what?” he begins, backing away but still keeping an eye from all of you. “I came here for food. And I’m going to leave with food.”

He holds up a commanding hand as all of you open your mouths, causing you all to abruptly shut them.

“Bye,” he says simply before rapidly walking backwards to the living room, chocolates dangling from his hands.

“What just happened?” Haechan asks, astonishment writ large on his face.

You’re grudgingly impressed and you’re about to say as much when you feel a gentle touch on your forearm. You turn to Mark only to see him looking warily at a slowly huffing Doyoung who bears a shocking resemblance to a volcano about to erupt.

Silence.

“RUN!”

96 notes · View notes

charmedseoull · 3 years

Text

The Aftermath of Fanfiction Authors with Reba Interview

Before You Read the Interview

I contacted Reba after she posted a Reddit thread titled “When a fic becomes too popular and the author deletes their account and/or work. Explained.” on a throwaway account. We discussed details of the interview during December over email, then started the interview in January. This interview is not associated with a project and is its own independent work. Reba has chosen to remain anonymous.

She provides insight on potential reasons to why fanfiction authors abandon their work from the perspective of a fanfiction reader. She also answered general fandom questions and questions about herself so readers could understand her background.

Charmedseoul is a BTS-focused anonymous historian who documents fandom history using Fanlore. If you would like to be interviewed to help document perspectives in fandom, please contact her on Twitter @charmedseoul or on Tumblr @charmedseoull.

Parts of this interview have been edited with links to Fanlore and Wikipedia pages for understanding. Any information in [brackets] serves for further clarity for readers and elaboration of information.

Now presenting the interview with Reba, long-time fanfiction reader and participant in fandom:

When did you first join fandom culture?

I joined fandom culture in 2014. I feel like fandoms really peaked during this time. [Presence of SuperWhoLock and other Tumblr specific fandoms.]

What fandoms are you in? How have your experiences in them been?

I will be honest and say fandom culture isn’t for me- so I can’t say I’m active in any fandoms (I’m just a silent consumer) but growing up I was a fan of music artists mostly; Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande… I loved the IT 2017 movie adaptation for a long time (I still do), and early 2020 is when I got into BLACKPINK, then BTS. My experience with all of these has been good, and maybe that’s because I don’t see any of the drama and arguments online- but I don’t regret any of my past interests because they all made me happy at one point in time.

What do you like about fandoms?

What I like about fandoms is how happy it can make an individual; getting excited for a new music video, smiling at behind the scenes photos… it can bring someone a little joy if they are having a bad day.

What do you dislike about fandoms?

I don’t like stan culture at all; fandom drama, arguing on twitter with strangers to defend an artist who doesn’t even know you… it all seems toxic. While I'm sure healthy stanning does exist, I don't think it's easy to achieve at all.

How long have you been an ARMY? What are your opinions about the fandom? How has your experience in the fandom been?

I became an ARMY in early 2020 when Map of the Soul: 7 was released, so only a year. I really do like the fandom; ARMY is the only fandom I’ve seen where there are so many fans worldwide of all different ages, and that just shows how BTS and their music really is for everyone. There is so much BTS content that there’s never a dull day, so my experience in the fandom has been enjoyable!

Did you ever leave ARMY and take a break then come back?

I’ve never left ARMY, that being said, I’m a newbie and haven’t been here for long.

When did you first start reading fanfiction?

I have been exposed to fanfiction since 2014, but I wasn’t in any fandom back then and started reading fanfiction in 2017.

What do you think the purpose behind fanfiction is?

We mostly read for entertainment but there is definitely a purpose to fanfiction, as for all art. Fanfiction is a great thing for both reader and writers, it can be an outlet for many people, a way to experience things that you don't have a chance to experience in your own life. It also can be a good base ground for people who want to start writing, or for someone who finds reading huge paperback novels difficult. Fanfiction is so easily accessible, you can pull up a story to read or share your work at the press of a button.

As you’ve read fanfiction over the years, do you feel like anything about fanfiction has changed?

Yes! Fanfiction is taken a lot more seriously now, people who write fanfiction treat it like an actual novel with plotting and editing- the quality of fanfiction in general is a lot better. Fandom ships have also changed; when I was a teenager Harry Styles fanfictions were crazy popular, now the fanfics that seem to be more popular are BTS! So that just shows when music evolves, pretty much everything else does too.

As a reader, how do you view authors?

I'm always amazed by fanfic authors because they practically write whole novels for free. Writing can be such a personal thing, and it does take talent; there is a story the author wants to convey, and when a story is told in a beautiful way, it leaves a lasting impact on the reader. I’m sure that must be a euphoric feeling for the author- it means they told their story, and they did it well.

Do you think many other readers share the same view as you?

No, not at all. There are readers out there who don’t really think about the time and effort authors put into their stories. I’ve seen readers expect so much, and criticise something so little. It’s sad- people should be able to write whatever they want, writing is supposed to encourage creativity. Authors shouldn’t have to fear backlash for doing just that. Being creative.

Why do you think so many authors delete/orphan their work after it gains popularity?

When a story gains popularity- it attracts good and bad attention alike. Unfortunately the negative affects us a lot more, it’s just human nature. While authors do put their work out there, I don’t think they are ever prepared for their stories to become so popular. I am sure it is overwhelming and that’s why authors feel the need to distance themselves from it all and delete/orphan their work.

What stories prompted you to start thinking about why authors delete/orphan their works?

I read a story called mixtape (IT movie) and I was around long enough to see chapters be uploaded each week. I also saw the struggles the author went through when their fanfic began to rise in popularity, which eventually led to the story being completely deleted from the internet. So I thought this could have been a one-off since I hadn’t read many fanfictions. I then moved onto BTS fanfiction and decided to read the most talked about ones first, only to see a lot of them were by orphaned accounts (so not just a one-off occurrence!). House of Cards by sugamins was the one that got me thinking, I thought “why would somebody not want to be associated with this amazing writing?!” That’s when I began to do some research and stumbled across your interview with the author!

How do you think backlash for a work harms an authors mental health?

An immense amount of feedback, positive or negative, can take a toll on one person. A lot of authors can be reserved people and they write because they are passionate, as an outlet or just a hobby. So when their work does receive backlash it can be very upsetting- it could make them doubt their reasons and capabilities and affect an author so much they might stop writing all together.

How do you think some authors manage their mental health and not delete a work?

This is a hard question because everyone deals with backlash differently. I know some authors who are not bothered by backlash and they choose to ignore it and move on with their day, and then there are other authors who are more anxious and have to put a lot of measures in place to protect their mental health; from your interview with sugamins they explain how they didn’t want to destroy their work, just distance themselves from it, so that’s always an option.

Taking time away from social media and getting enough rest, it is important to not neglect your well-being. Finding a way to cope when you feel low; animals tend to ground me and improve my mental health- they are loving and don’t judge you for who you are. Maybe you cope by talking with friends, or listening to your favourite song. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps.

At what point with mental health do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

I think an author starts to consider deleting/orphaning their work when it completely consumes them. It is not healthy to be fixated on something that is no longer bringing you happiness, you need to let it go. If you are an author reading this, just know you are not your feedback, it doesn’t define your existence, okay? Fanfiction should add to your life, not take away from it.

Why do you think some readers invade an authors privacy?

Sometimes, people care more about the author than the work they have created. So when a fanfic has deeply touched a reader and helped them through so much, they want to reach out in any way and tell them so- this can be invasive if the reader is not careful about their approach.

How do you think authors manage this privacy invasion?

Stopping it before it happens; not using your real name, having a separate account for writing, don’t link social media accounts in your works etc. If privacy has already been compromised and a reader is making the author uncomfortable, then disabling comments on their works, making a new social media or changing their accounts to private would be smart. Just knowing how to keep safe online.

At what point with privacy invasion do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

When you are at risk of being doxed. I think when readers are going as far as finding authors’ personal accounts and messaging their friends- anything along those lines is scary and the reader is going from a supporter to an intrusive stranger real fast.

Why do you think anonymity is important for fanfiction writing?

When your full name is attached to everything you do, people have a very easy way to get back to you. This is why authors keep an anonymous profile, and it is important readers respect that. Most authors don’t want their family, friends, employer etc to see that sort of stuff. It is completely okay to remain professional and keep fanfiction writing separate from personal life.

Do you think fanfiction writing should stay free? Do you think authors should be paid for their work?

I do think fanfiction writing should stay free on the sites they originate from (AO3 for example). However, if the author wants to take their work elsewhere to earn money then I don’t see an issue in that. I am glad you mention copyright law with fanfiction in particular because the author of mixtape (the fanfiction I mentioned earlier) tried to self publish their work while keeping canon names, the author tried to justify it as a parody work and everyone was so concerned that they reported the book until it got removed. I have seen stories on Wattpad become published books to purchase, however, the names had been changed to original characters- I think this seems like a much more logical move to avoid any legal repercussions.

As a reader, how has an author’s work connected with you personally?

I have had works connect with me on a personal level, one in particular is Somebody To Love by LOVERVMINS (orphaned). My standards are impossibly high after reading that fanfic and I don’t think I will ever come across something so beautiful again. Somebody To Love is a taekook fic that was uploaded to AO3 in 2019, the author ended up deleting all their works but thankfully left this particular story up. I was immediately captured by the incredible writing and unique plot; the story of two lovers who were never meant for each other, but destiny found its way anyway… I apologise in advance for how long this summary (with spoilers) is, but I think my thoughts are proof of how this story has connected with me so much!

(Spoilers for Somebody to Love by LOVERVMINS. Please feel free to scroll to the next bolded question to avoid spoilers.)

In this story, Taehyung is a successful lawyer while Jungkook is just a student, despite the difference in status and wealth, they are intrigued by one another from the very start. After meeting Taehyung, Jungkook is left feeling confused about himself, the internalised homophobia is strong to begin with but as the chapters progress Jungkook goes from someone who is afraid of society and what people may think, to strong and outspoken. Taehyung plays a fundamental part in this, because if Jungkook were to never meet Taehyung, he wouldn’t have realised who he really was, he wouldn’t have been brave enough to discover his sexuality and fall in love in a time where it was so unaccepting. Taehyung is bold and confident on the surface, giving little regard for anybody other than himself, but his concern for others soon changes after he meets Jungkook, he becomes a better man. He could have had his heart desires- but Taehyung was no longer selfish from those few months he spent with Jungkook, so he stayed with his wife to be a good father.

Taehyung makes Jungkook promise him he will find somebody to love (hence the title), and he does, Jungkook finds somebody to love and he is happy- Taehyung finds this out when they unexpectedly meet a few years later, this is the final time Jungkook and Taehyung see each other… but knowing Jungkook is happy, leaves Taehyung happy.

There are different kinds of love, some last forever, and some just for a chapter of your life. It is clear Jungkook was Taehyung’s forever. And I don’t think Jungkook’s love for Taehyung ever went away, he just found another kind of love like he had promised. Jungkook had to live his life; he couldn’t wait for Taehyung, to leave his marriage in the unforeseeable future, or watch him raise his kids from afar, this shows that even if society were accepting, their circumstances were too far gone- if only they met sooner, or in another life. It makes you imagine a world where they could have been together, it makes you think beyond the story even when it’s ended.

It has been a month or two since I read LOVERVMINS work, and I still feel a pang in my chest every time I think of Taehyung’s letter for Jungkook in the epilogue.

Why do you think others think they have the right to know an authors personal information?

I think in this day and age, everything about a person is on show, so people just expect that sort of information from you. Authors appreciate feedback- but they don't know the reader, their family or what they do for fun. Vice versa. You only see a small glimpse into the authors life, and the stuff you see is what they feel comfortable enough to show. That should be enough.

Do you consider writing an art form?

I do consider writing an art form. Writing is like painting an image in the readers mind. I think it is better than visual art because when you are reading a story, not everyone is going to envision the exact same thing, it is up to the imagination. I think that is what makes it so beautiful- we all collectively love a story, yet, we somehow interpret it differently.

Why do you think Archive of Our Own is the ideal platform for fanfiction writing?

I think Archive of Our Own is ideal for fanfiction writing because they give you many options with your work so you are comfortable- it is easy to remove comments, delete an account, or orphan works while keeping your account etc. It is important authors get control of what happens to their work if they want to leave and go in a different direction.

Do you think other fanfiction writing platforms like Fanfiction.net and Wattpad are ideal or lacking?

I think Wattpad is ideal for younger audiences; it’s more visual with book covers and the layout in general is more appealing, I also feel like the stories on there are targeted for pre-teens. When I first got into fanfiction, I did start on Wattpad because it was easier to navigate. I look back now though and do think it is lacking in terms of quality, a lot of the stories are written for shock value and don’t really make much sense because of that. It is hard to find a story on Wattpad that ticks all the boxes (but not impossible). Wattpad also had a breach with data last summer and everyone’s emails got pwned so that made a lot of people move to AO3. I have never used Fanfiction.net so unfortunately I can’t speak for that one. Overall, AO3 has much more content, you can find a story with ease once you know how to use the site.

How has fanfiction writing affected the people in your personal life?

How did you find out that your sister is writing fanfiction?

My sister wrote a Harry Styles fanfic in 2014 which gathered around half a million reads on Wattpad, she got comments from people telling her how much her fanfic has impacted their lives pretty much every day. My sister and I are close and we share the same friends, I noticed when we would have sleepovers she was always on her phone and never paid attention to the movies we were watching. I think all the numbers did affect her for a moment and it wasn’t until my sister started her exams that she realised she had to put her concentration into those to pass, that’s how she came to the decision to delete the story. I asked her recently if she regrets deleting it and she told me she doesn’t at all, she now looks back and doesn’t think her writing was good back then. So I think that shows authors do know what they’re doing and what is best for them in the long run.

My sister had a one direction fan account on Instagram that had 100k+ followers (insane!), she was always open with her interests and I found out she started writing fanfiction through that account.

What personal reasons do you think authors have for deleting/orphaning works?

The list is endless; maybe the author wrote the story in a bad time in their life and they want to delete it because it reminds them of that time, they could have left the fandom, or they simply do not like their story anymore- they grew up and know they can do so much better. It is okay for an author to grow apart from their work, it shows they are growing as a person too.

Why do you think authors get backlash from writing dark themes?

I think authors receive backlash from writing dark themes because it can be triggering for some and can bring up unpleasant memories.

What do you think are the responsibilities of an author when writing dark themes?

A safe bet would be to tag anything relating to abuse (physical, emotional, etc), mental illness (eating disorders, self harm, suicide, etc), graphic violence and rape/sexual assault. That’s what comes to mind. And if a trigger occurs only in a certain chapter, then having an additional warning in the chapter notes would be helpful.

What do you think are the responsibilities of a reader when reading dark themes?

If dark subjects are included in the tags, don’t read the story if it could trigger you. It is as simple as that. People decide to read the fanfic then get mad at the author for triggering them. I am not trying to insult anybody who has triggers, maybe they read a story and their specific trigger was never mentioned in the additional tags… this is what the ‘chose not to archive warnings’ box is for, with this option, it is handled in AO3’s FAQ that major tags are not necessary. In shirt, this means there may be triggering content in the fic that is not disclosed by the author. Plus, there is usually a pop up banner before you click on a story which reads ‘this work could have adult content. if you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content’. There are so many warnings, you can’t miss them. It is a case of reading at your own risk, you can’t blame the author if you do not like the result.

Do you think authors are facing too much pressure from readers about what themes they write?

I do think authors face unnecessary pressure with the themes they write; they are put on such a pedestal that when they write something that isn’t what the audience want, they receive a lot of negative criticism. Authors, no matter what themes you are writing, there is no need to worry if you are writing for yourself and putting out the content you set out to create.

Why do you think authors write dark themes?

Dark themes are simply an exploration of difficult emotions along with unpleasant events or consequences. Authors write dark themes because it serves a narrative purpose. And authors don’t have to be ‘dark’ people or experience all of these unsettling things to write such content.

Why do you think readers read dark themes?

Dark themes are not for everyone, I personally don’t think there are enough dark works out there. I read dark themes because it interests me more, I want to know how the characters are going to cope with the consequences, or heal from the trauma. Other readers might prefer dark themes for the graphic content, this is fine too. Fictional violence is not real- we all know this, so there is no reason to be terrified.

Why do you think so many authors want to have their work get popular?

People may disagree, but I think it has a lot to do with validation. Subconsciously, authors want people to like their work- a rise in popularity means readers are seeing the authors work, and hopefully taking enjoyment from it. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you realise validation does not equal self-worth. There are people out there who write and do not gain much attention, but that doesn’t stop them from posting their work anyway.

Do you think a work’s popularity is important?

I personally don’t. I read a range of fanfictions- some are super popular, others are not. It is the content I am more interested in, not how many hits/views it has.

Should we judge authors for deleting/orphaning their work?

Not at all! I am sure authors have thought long and hard before coming to their decision.

How should we view situations where authors delete/orphan their work?

For a reader, it can be upsetting when authors delete/orphan their work, especially if there is no possibility of reading that story again. However, we need to show compassion and view the situation from the authors perspective; gaining popularity on a fanfic isn't as pleasant as it might seem, it is much more complicated than that. A lot of feedback, both good and bad, can be overwhelming. Mental health is important, and if that means distancing yourself from something so popular, then it must be done. Privacy can be compromised, people in your real life might find out you write these stories and not be accepting, or readers become invasive which is a scary situation to be in. And a mixture of personal reasons, people are allowed to grow and change and want to distance themselves from things they are no longer proud of.

What do you think authors should be aware of in case their work does get popular?

This is a good question… I think authors need to be aware that with good feedback, also comes bad feedback. You cannot please every single person on this earth, but that is not your job- so do not take it personally.

Do you have any last messages to readers of this interview?

I want to thank you in particular, Charm. This interview is probably the coolest thing I’ll ever get to do for the BTS fandom and I’m so grateful that our paths crossed so we could create this interview together. You are such a kind soul and it has been a pleasure from start to finish.

For the authors reading this interview; I am just a reader, but I do understand how it can be hard for you to continue on when you are going through so many struggles readers don’t get to see. Just know you are appreciated, and you are supported no matter what you decide to do with your works in the future. Having popular works shouldn’t feel like a burden, there are blessings hidden in there- you have made readers feel a rollercoaster of emotions with your talent, you are able to engage with readers around the world, and you have created a beautiful story from nothing… you did that!

For the silent readers like myself: let the authors of your favourite work know how much you loved it (in a respectful way) before it is too late! I so wish I had the chance to tell the author of Somebody To Love how their story broke my heart then healed it again. Treasure the fanfictions you love because they very well could be gone tomorrow!

Thank you for reading this interview. Further below are reminders and information about this interview and Charmedseoul’s Fanlore projects.

Reba has chosen to remain anonymous. No social media or information about her will be released publicly.

This interview was conducted through email from January 31, 2021 to February 1, 2021 with Reba’s consent and protections under Fanlore’s Identity Protection policies and the posting website’s privacy policies. Unauthorized reposting of this interview is forbidden.

Due to the casual nature of this interview, repost of this interview is strictly prohibited. Linking and sharing is appreciated. Translation and unauthorized repost of this interview is forbidden.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #fandom #fandom meta #fandom interview #fandom interviews #fanlore #charmedseoul #charmedseoul interviews #fanfiction #fanfiction author #fanfic #fanfiction meta #fanfic meta

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mayabishopapologist · 3 years

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station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two— always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of 301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed.

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!)

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand.

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever, but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case. making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo)

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring.

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap.

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what???

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back.

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her!

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute.

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really.

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season.

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

#either way #im still watching lmao #h8 it here lol #station 19 #maya bishop #vic hughes #andy herrera #dean miller #jack gibson #ben warren #travis montgomery #s19 #mtxt #if u see spelling mistakes #no u didnt xx #me writing dissertations to justify why im stuck here lmaoo

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octania · 4 years

Text

Icy summer explosion (part 1)

Bakugo x Reader

Shoto x Reader

Genre: Romance, Drama, Comedy

Type: Series

Words: 2200

Characters in this part: Bakugo, Shoto, Deku, Kaminari, Kirishima.

Short description: A tense summer love drama between you, Bakugo and Shoto. It all starts in summer paradise, but where will it end and how?

————————————————————————————–

The show was a big success . But this one was slightly different than the others, and that’s why they all were still super hyped when it was over. The heroes were now in their third year of education and were already a favorite among society. Never before have so many quality heroes been in the same class. The show was intended to educate and inspire young people who have just gotten their quirks, and what better way of doing it than to allow them to spend some time with their idols.

“I can’t believe they are giving us a day off, here!!”- screamed Deku.

“I can’t believe it neither man. Also without supervision? If you ask me, that’s hella strange.”- Kirishima replied as they were rushing to the changing room to take off their costumes.

“I told you assholes, Aizawa is done with us after the stunt we pulled. This is his smart way of getting back at us. Luring us to go outside alone, in a foreign country, on a sea side no less. He knows we are stupid enough to drown by ourselves. Specially Kaminari , idiot forgets that he needs air when he is under water.”- Bakugo said sarcastically.

“Hay! That was only that one time! I was trying to catch that fish, it had such pretty colors!”- Kaminaris cheeks turned red.

“Maybe if they let us off the hook once in a while, he would not try to grab every moment so desperately , ever thought about that?”- Shoto Todoroki said seriously, grabbing his backpack, walking to Kaminari, pulling his nose like a child.

“You don’t follow rainbow fish around ,though.”- he laughed.

“How about we grab something to eat first, then go to the beach?”- continued Shoto.

x x x

Y/N walked down the streets of Camogli in Portofino. It was quiet, she escaped the wild screams and beast crowd from the show, but could still see them in front of her eyes. She could feel a rush of adrenaline again, the same one she felt in the moment the heroes stepped into the crowd. They smiled as they looked into the curious and excited eyes of the younger generations. Although only Kirishima, Deku, Kaminari, Shoto and Bakugo were present, it was more than enough for her. Her cheeks turned red and a shy smile took a position on her face, remembering a pair of wild red eyes. She couldn’t help herself, she followed him throughout the show non-stop. His arrogant attitude, energetic approach, wild character, sharp tongue … damned be this fetish for bad guys. But he was not evil, he was one of the best heroes from whom incredible things were expected. The redness on her cheeks intensified.

This trip was nothing but perfect. Them , the sea, the surroundings…heaven. She arrived to her hotel, but she didn’t go in. She was filled with adrenaline, filled with excitement, she could not possibly go to sleep now. Also, it was a beautiful summer night, peaceful, just right for a night swim. Because of the show, everyone is on the main square, which means, the beach is empty. She can finally have that butt naked swim she wanted. She giggled, already jumping down the big rocks that led to the beach. Taking her shoes off, her feet landed on the warm sand on the beach. The moonlight reflected itself on the surface of the water. The moon , big and yellow, proudly stood in the center of the sky, welcoming her to the scene. She smiled as the waves of the sea touched her bare feet. Not waiting a moment longer, she took off her white dress, letting it fall down on the ground, remaining only in her panties. She ran , jumping into the sea, embracing the cold feeling on her skin, swimming and diving along the shore.

x x x

They were finally free. Even though it was just for one night, they were living every moment to its fullest potential. Eating, joking, talking, trying to light a fire, but it ended by them thanking the God they were surrounded by water because they almost managed to burn down the little bamboo houses that were beach bars. They needed to find dry firewood, but since they were on a sandy beach, it was no easy task. Kaminari decided to make his task easier by hiding behind beach bars and tearing pieces of bamboo off them. But that was not the end. When he had collected a couple of pieces, he decided to prove himself a little more. He rubbed his fingers, letting a little electricity out on the dry bamboo. Unfortunately, he let go a little too much, and the electricity also reached the bamboo on the beach bar. The bottom of the beach bar began to burn. He panicked, tossing the other burning pieces aside and trying to kick the sand at the burning bar. He didn’t even realize that the bamboo he had thrown was now spreading fire on the wooden chairs next to the bar. Everyone ran up, extinguishing the chair before it spreads more. After putting out the fire, they scolded him, realizing that it would be best if they didn’t use their quirks, not tonight. So, they needed to light the fire in a natural way, with sticks. Bakugo had no patience for that. After seeing Kirishima fail for the third time, he reached for the wood, which they carefully stacked on top of each other.

“Idiot, get lost! You are fucking everything up! “- he pushed him abruptly with his foot, so that Kirishima fell face down into the sand. He reached for the wood, as small explosions began to appear from his palm. Before he could do anything, an icy feeling permeated his body.

“Oi! What the fuck?! I will kill you!”- he growled from the depths of his throat. From his palm to the forearm, everything was covered with a thick layer of ice.

“We said no quirks…specially yours…we don’t want to attract unwanted attention.” – Shoto said calmly, not even looking at Bakugo.

“Oh yeah?! And this ice just appeared according to Gods natural plans?! Screw you!!”- the ice exploded from his hand, while his fists were now smoking. Beneath his white-red hair, two serious multicolored eyes could be seen. He watched Bakugo walk toward him, burning with rage. He clenched his fist, ready to counterattack. But before the situation developed for the worse, a shout of happiness was heard beside them. A faint light spread across the beach.

“I did it! I did it!” - Kirishima, who at no time cared about the situation that was developing next to him, managed to light a fire, which is now slowly igniting.

“The spark from Bakugo’s fists fell and made a little ignition, I was blowing, and it started!” - he explained like a child, jumping next to the now beautifully spread fire.

“See, we did it! Come on man, we are here to enjoy ourselves. Chill. Come, we can kick the ball a little in the shallow water.”- Kaminari appeared behind Bakugo, placing his hand on his shoulder.

“Tch..whatever.”- he clenched his fist, shaking Kaminaris hand off, still targeting Todoroki with his killer gaze, but the smoke from his palms now disappeared.

"Consider yourself lucky,“ he turned, moving towards the water.

“That’s it, let’s go!” Kirishima shouted, kicking the ball and running towards them.

“Don’t let him get to you… It’s been years, you know he will never change. Don’t let him ruin your good time.”- Deku said to Shoto with a faint smile. Shoto said nothing. Although it is true that he was already numb to Bakugo’s behavior, his outbursts really shouldn’t have always gone unpunished. Just because everyone has ignored his behavior because they’ve gotten used to the way he treats others, doesn’t mean he should be tolerated forever. He felt his left palm getting warm. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Deku was right, now was not the time to teach a naughty brat some manners. They are here to have fun. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"You’re right. Come on, let’s join them.”- He stood up, taking his blue shirt off, uncovering his hard muscles.

“Yeah!”- Deku followed his example.

They entered the water and joined the others. The ball barely withstood the strong blows. From the game, this grew into a competition. No one wanted to drop the ball. They threw themselves frantically, energetically, striking it with all their might in someone else’s direction, just so it wouldn’t touch the surface of the water. Bakugo relentlessly aimed at Shoto. He aimed at the head and didn’t even hide it. Every time Shoto would jump and hit the ball, avoiding Bakugos attempt, the veins on Bakugos’s arms and neck would pop out. After a while, Shoto no longer wanted to just carelessly ignore Bakugos attacks. When Deku threw the ball towards him, he swung with full force towards the Bakugo, who dodged the ball just in time, and it flew far out to sea.

“I slapped your mama on the ass with the same force,Shoto, but she didn’t dodge it.”- Bakugo said with a nasty smile, provoking even more. But he didn’t wait for a response. He ran through shallow water then jumped in, moving his strong hands through it. The waves were not working in his favor, as they were carrying the ball more and more away. He sped up, pushing the water more fiercely. He could barely see in front of himself as the sea was splashing in his eyes. Suddenly, his face landed on something soft. Shocked, he pushed the strange thing with his hand, grabbing it. He shook his head, shocked, trying to see properly.

“What the f…”

He eyes almost fell out, jaw dropped, cheeks fired up and he could feel his heart in his throat. The strange thing in front of him was a woman, and the thing he just rubbed his whole dumb face in and decided to push it , were her boobs. A pair of eyes were looking back at him with the same shock in them. He pulled back his hand, as he tried to speak but a wave landed on his face once more, making him almost choke on water. He started coughing, trying to catch air.

“Omg are you ok???”- the woman screamed, trying to hit his back with her hand, but considering they were both up to their neck under water, it was no help. Her desperate try to quickly get closer to him to help, ended up making the situation even worse, as he turned his head too quickly, bumping his forehead directly in hers.

“Fucking shit!!!”- he yelled as the poor girl cried out, grabbing her head. She felt dizzy, barely staying conscious. The pain and the raging water made her vision blurry, but she fought to stay awake.

“Idiot! Stay still!”- Bakugo was filled with panic, as he reached for the girl, trying to keep her above water. His arms grabbed her, trying to pull her on his chest. But there was one more problem. As he pulled her on his chest, barely keeping himself above the water, he realized her body was naked, and her tits were now above the surface, pushing on his jaw.

“What are you doing!?”- The girl screamed once more. Before he could even think of an answer, let alone give one, a sharp pain filled his cheek, as the girl slapped him. He was now so confused he just wanted to drown. But he realized she will actually drown literally if he lets her go.

“Stop moving!”- he yelled annoyed,not even looking at her any more, pushing her around , placing her on his back, putting her arms around his neck as he held them firmly with one hand, and started swimming with the other. He was swimming hard with his legs, trying to reach the beach. He could hear people yelling. Guys. The rest of the gang were now yelling to him, waving. He sped up once more, and in that moment of confusion, something struck him. Her boobs once more were squeezing on him, on his back. His face became one big expression of embarrassment and anger . Finally, he reached the shallow water, standing on his feet, grabbing the girl legs, carrying her on his back.

“What the fuck?!?!”- Deku and Kaminari screamed in the same time.

“Look everyone, Bakugo caught a mermaid!”- Kirishima laughed.

“Shut the fuck up, you idiot!!!!”- Bakugo yelled.

“Oh my god, she is …she is naked..”- Deku yelled, automatically running to get a hoodie.

“Well that explains the nose bleed and a “sea shell” hidden in his pocket.”- Kirishima could not help himself, he was now laughing his ass off.

“Quit it you moron, help me, she hit her head!!”- Bakugo, indeed with a nose bleed, yelled.

The only one who said nothing was Shoto. He stood there in astonishment, when suddenly an ice wall formed around Bakugo and Y/N, closing the view on their bodies. The only thing visible was their faces.

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alwayschoosechocolate · 4 years

Text

One-night stands and one-shot chances (part xi)

University AU

Pairing: Jin x reader

Who says sex has to mean anything? Who says you can’t just screw around without all the heartache? Who says only guys get this privilege? What happens when the biggest playboy on campus suddenly meets his match and gets a taste of his own medicine?

Genre: casual sex, mentions of sex, bestfriend!Hoseok, onenightstand!Jin, romance, angst

Word count: 6,6k

Taglist: @esplosionedicoloriintesta @jeonjunggoodgod @rjsmochii@spookidema @pariz-lover @mymochimchimmy @seokjinnieismine @cloudyelizabeth @livesmileandstaystrong @thisistoooooomuch @okaysoplshelpme @secondstanza @eanielsen07 @lidda @6bottlesofwine @honeybeeforv

Masterpost with the other parts of the story can be found here and my masterlist is here

Waking up in Jin’s bed the next morning could have been awkward.

You were both pretty used to waking up next to people you’d barely be able to recall the name of, either slipping out before they woke up or making small talk over coffee before leaving them with a simple “see you around.”

You were more than used to sharing a bed with people whom you had no sexual interest in. Where waking up involved sleepy whispers and promises of coffee and breakfast before both of you stumbled into the kitchen in comfortable silence.

But this? This was foreign to you both.

And it had potential to be very awkward.

But it wasn’t.

As the heat of sharing a bed itched you to sleep, you groaned at the uncomfortableness that came with falling asleep fully clothed, as you moved away from the source of heat on your right, mind still lazed in sleep. Sitting up to tear the heavy fabric of your sweatshirt from your body, you threw it across the room before letting your body fall back against the bed again, relishing in the cold air of the room kissing your heated skin.

Taking a few heavy breaths, your eyes fluttered open to take in the room around you. Confused for a second at not being met by the sight of Hoseok’s room, you turned your head and caught sight of the man sleeping soundly on the pillow next to you. Hair sticking in every direction and mouth wide open as his snores filled the room, he was far from the poised handsome man, who had everyone on campus charmed. But for you, seeing him like this only made you enthralled, as you took in the details of his face. The small stubbles grazing his otherwise smooth face and the few misguided hairs in his eyebrows.

Not even processing what happened before you did it, your hand reached to smooth them out, but mere millimeters before your hand touched his face, your phone went off from its discarded position on the floor.

“Shit,” you whispered, as you quickly rolled over to reach it and turn it off before Jin woke up.

Seeing Hoseok’s name flash across the screen, you quickly swiped to answer it and tiptoed out of the room with one last look at Jin before you pulled the door closed behind you.

“Hi,” you whispered into the phone as you shuffled down the hallway to make yourself some coffee.

“Why are we whispering?”, he whispered back on the other end of the line, making you grin in glee and let out a small giggle.

“No reason. Just didn’t wanna wake up J-” Widening your eyes at how close you were to let Jin’s name slip, you quickly covered up your mistake by chuckling knowingly. “You know, I wanna say Jonathan but honestly I can’t remember his name.”

Hearing Hoseok’s laugh ring out in response, you sighed in relief as you secured the phone between your ear and your shoulder and started making a pot of coffee.

“Oh well. Is it the same guy as the other day? Cause then I really thing you should make an effort to remember his name, love.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you hummed with a soft smile. Though you couldn’t tell him that the guy was actually his housemate, there was nothing stopping you from talking about what happened in general, right?

Right.

“Do I detect a loving smile in your tone?”, he cooed with a fond laugh. “Miss Y/l/n, did you start dating someone and forgot to tell me?”

“The smile is for you, you idiot. But yes, I might have met up with the same man twice,” you laughed, hopping up on the counter as you waited for the coffee to finish.

“And you didn’t tell me? I am hurt!”

“You’re so annoying, Hobi. I’m telling you now, aren’t I? Stop playing so insulted all the time.”

Laughing at the whines coming from the other end of the phone, your mind took you back to the night before as well as the night you and Jin had shared together and an involuntary smile made its way on your face.

“Can I at least know who he is? Do I know him?”

The excitement was clear on his voice, and you could clearly imagine the way his giddy smile would make his eyes sparkle.

“Let’s just go with Jonathan for now,” you chuckled, happy that you at least didn’t have to lie about everything to your best friend. “If things continue, I might introduce you two.”

“Hmm. So I don’t even know him! How did you manage to find someone on campus that I don’t know?”, he asked, clearly already trying to piece together who your mystery-man could be.

“Seok, I’m not telling you anything,” you laughed. “Now come on, tell me about you and your family. What have you been doing?”

Answering with nothing but a chuckle, he started telling you about what he had been doing and how much his mom still asked about you.

“You know, I really do think you broke her heart a bit, Y/n,” he joked, knowing how much you hated disappointing his mom.

“Wow, Jung. Really? That’s a low blow. You know how much I love her! Please hug her and apologize again from me!”

“I’m just teasing, Y/n. She knows. She just misses you, that’s all. So do I btw. I think I might come back a day earlier, so we have some time to hang out before the others come back.”

“We hang out all the time, Hobi,” you laughed. “Just last week, you said that the holiday would be good for us, because we’d been together too much.”

“That can’t be,” he gasped in horror. “I would never say such a thing. And I even if I did, that was last week, and this is this week and I miss you. So I will hear no more complaining from you, young lady.”

“You know I hate when you call me that,” you scolded weakly, though you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

“I know. Which is why I’m saying it,” he insisted proudly, making you roll your eyes in endearment. “So you can expect me to be home tomorrow evening, young lady. And Sunday we’ll do our thing and watch some movies, maybe even do one of those face masks you’ve been ranting about the last few days.”

“Yeah? You really want to do one of the face masks?”

“Of course! Who doesn’t love a good face mask?”

“Oh, I can think of one person, who doesn’t,” you hummed, laughing when Hoseok started guessing again about who this Jonathan was.

You really wanted to tell him about Jin and everything that was happening here, but you knew that the relationship between you and Jin still was on very thin ice and there was no need to jeopardize that with gossiping.

“So is there really no other news, babe? How long has it been since you went a week without any drama? Must be nice, huh? What are you using all that saved up energy on instead?”

Biting your lip in annoyance at how he seemed to know just what to ask, you scolded yourself for not telling him about the job application earlier. Jimin already knew, and you told Jin about it the other night because you had been a nervous wreck after the deadline had come and gone without any news from the professor.

Slaving through the hours at the café, what had really kept you going was the idea of getting to work with something that you actually found interesting instead, but it had been complete silence from the professor. Groaning when you thought about it once more, you poured yourself a cup of the fresh coffee and went to living room to bundle yourself up on the couch.

“No more news, no. But I did forgot to tell you that I applied for a job at one of the laboratories on campus a few weeks ago and the deadline for applying was this Monday and I still haven’t heard anything,” you sighed, quickly running him through the details.

“Well that sounds amazing, but you do realize that they need time to sort through the applications as well, right? Give them some more time before you give up,” he offered encouragingly, and you could hear the smile in his voice as he did so.

“You’re right, Seokie. Thank you.”

“Of course. Alright, I have to go help mom with the breakfast. But I’ll see you Saturday evening, yeah? Bye, babe!”, he called out before disconnecting the line before you even had time to return the goodbye. Removing the phone from your ear with a slight chuckle, you set down the phone next to you and dedicated your full attention to the coffee in your hands.

A few minutes later, Jin’s figure shuffled into the living room with a yawn.

“Morning,” you offered hesitantly, not sure where you were with each other after last night, but when he turned and gave you a sweet smile and melodic greeting back, your worries melted away.

As he joined you on the couch with his own coffee, you sat in silence for a few moments as the tension made the air around you thick and hard to breath.

“So,” you trailed off, offering Jin a hesitant smile. “I know you don’t want to talk about yesterday, but I think maybe we should. At least just to clear the air.”

He nodded slowly in agreement, though his eyes never rose to meet yours. He did however shift a little in his seat to rest his arm comfortable on your thigh between the two of you.

When he didn’t speak, you took it upon yourself to break the ice.

“You were right to call me out on the way I’ve been acting towards you,” you started, feeling your hands get slightly clammy. Despite how much more comfortable you had gotten with each other, this was still something you felt like wouldn’t work with Jin. Talking honestly about how you felt. Talking out an argument. But you were willing to give it a chance. “And as I said last night, I am sorry. But I feel like something triggered you yesterday. And you don’t have to tell me exactly what it was, but would you like to talk about it a bit?”

As your voice died out, the room fell back into silence as the man next to you did nothing to respond to your words. But you saw the way his jaw clenched and the furrowing of his brows. He was clearly still affected.

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me everything, but please let me in a little,” you pleaded with him, not missing the way his eyes briefly shifted towards yours. “I don’t want to upset you like that again, but in order to avoid that I need to understand what happened. This is how a friendship works, Jin. You share stuff with each other and do your best to understand the other person.”

“Why are you getting all shrink-y with me? I’m fine now. There is no need to analyze it,” Jin laughed nervously as he patted your thigh in an effort to reassure you.

“I’m not getting shrink-y,” you argued, fighting back the urge to roll your eyes. “I just want to help.”

“Y/n, I’m fine,” he laughed, finally looking you in the eye with a strained smile. “We talked it out yesterday.”

“No, Jin. We didn’t. You went your room-“

“Yes, and you followed me and then we slept. I don’t understand why it’s so important to you to talk about this,” he groaned with an eyeroll, making your blood simmer.

“Because something I did triggered you enough for you to start crying in the middle of an argument, and I need to know what it was, so I won’t do it again,” you insisted through clenched teeth, putting your cup down on the table and turning towards him with your arms crossed.

“Jesus, Y/n. I did not cry, alright! And even if I did, we are not talking about it. So quit it!”, he exclaimed in a defensive tone, mirroring your crossed arms, and meeting your eyes in defiance.

“Fine!”, you yelled, matching his volume and glaring at him in annoyance. “If you don’t want to talk about that, will you at least tell me why you’re not home with your parents this week? Cause I’m not buying your excuse about not wanting to go home.”

“Are you serious right now? Just let it go, will you?”, he groaned, getting up from the couch and walking away.

“And now you’re leaving again? Are you serious, Jin? If we’re going to make this relationship work, you need to work with me!”, you exclaimed in frustration, only realizing the word you’d used after it slipped your lips, causing you to widen your eyes in surprise and Jin to turn towards you again with equally wide eyes and an amused smile lurking in the corner of his mouth.

“What did you just say?”

“Relationship,” you repeated firmly, not shying away from his scrutinizing eyes or backing down when he stepped closed. “A friendship is just as much of a relationship as a romantic one is.”

Though that was true, you were fairly sure that he knew you were just using it as an excuse right now.

“Is that so?”, he hummed with a smirk and a cocky lift of an eyebrow, chuckling lowly when he saw the slight blush color your cheekbones. Closing the remaining space between you with a single step, he leaned down, so his mouth was hovering just behind your ear. “And are we sure that what’s happening here is just a friendship?”, he spoke in a hushed tone, causing shivers to appear where his warm breath met your skin. He ran his arm along yours and softly grabbed hold of your hand, gingerly intertwining your fingers with his, before pulling back to meet your eyes. “Are we?” he asked again, with the same cocky tone he always used on girls he wanted to get with.

It made your breath hitch and your heart start pounding, but when he met your eyes you noticed something.

His eyes were different from that first night you had shared.

Despite the complete power display, he had going on now, his eyes were soft and pleading, filled with adoration and not a hint of lust to be found.

Keeping his hold on your one hand, he slowly lifted his other hand to your face, letting his index finger carefully trace your jawline and tilting your face towards his with an assured smile.

“I thought we agreed on no flirting?”, you asked breathlessly, never breaking eye-contact, but almost losing your senses when you felt his breath on your face when he answered.

“Who says I’m flirting? Maybe I just felt like kissing you.”

Blinking in astonishment as you absorbed his words, you cocked your head slightly and sent him a small smile.

“Do you?”

Smiling at your question, he nodded his head softly and leaned forward to rest his forehead on yours.

“Can I?”

Feeling your breath getting caught in your throat all you could do was nod as your eyes were held captured by his.

Closing the distance between you, he placed the softest kiss upon your lips. Barely more than a peck, but enough to make both of you sigh in content.

Nudging him with your nose, you begged for one more as you lifted yourself on your toes to connect your lips once again, this time with an urgency you hadn’t realized you were feeling. Feeling Jin smile into the kiss, made your heart flutter as you withdrew from the kiss with a giggle, reaching up to cover your mouth with your hand as the giggles bubbled out of you, earning you a fond grin from the man in front of you.

“I can’t believe we just kissed,” you giggled with sparkling eyes.

“Wanna do it again?”, he teased, as he leaned in again, only for you to softly push him back.

“No, wait. This isn’t gonna work,” you spoke in sudden seriousness, eyebrows now furrowed in worry. “Jin, we’re not even supposed to like each other. All we ever do is fight and you’re not even supposed to be here and in theory this never happened and I-“

“Hey, calm down, Y/n,” Jin shushed with an enamored smile. “No need to get carried away. It was just a kiss. And we don’t have to decide on anything right now. We still have two days before the others come home.”

“Yes, but then what, Jin? You don’t want them to know why you’re here, and there is no way to explain this without telling them that,” you reasoned, your mind now working on overdrive to process what was happening and what consequences it would birth. “And by the way, I think I’m entitled to an explanation on that now.”

Chuckling nervously, he pulled you into a hug and caressed your back soothingly.

Dammit. You were right, he realized. He really hadn’t thought this through.

“Can we at least just relax and enjoy it today? There is really no idea in panicking until at least tomorrow,” he argued, trying to sound like he had a plan, when in reality he was freaking out.

Why the hell did he kiss you? Yes, he did want it and he didn’t regret it, but what now? You were right. There was no way this would ever work. What had he been thinking?

“I am not sleeping with you again, just because we kissed, Jin,” you scoffed with an eyeroll as you pulled yourself out of his embrace. “Especially not when you’re still not being honest with me.”

“Are you seriously using sex as bait now?”, Jin laughed in disbelief, making you squint your eyes at him and shake your head in amazement at his comment.

“No, Jin. I am not using sex as bait. I am telling you, that I won’t sleep with you again. This is never going to work anyway,” you stressed, stepping even further away from him and crossing your arms in front of you.

“We already kissed!”, Jin exclaimed in exasperation. “Hell, we even had sex. Why are you freaking out about a kiss?”

“Because I wasn’t planning on this, Jin! I didn’t plan on this whole mess to happen between us and effect all the others as well. I didn’t plan on you being here this week, and I didn’t know we would end up actually enjoying each other’s company. And I definitely didn’t plan on you kissing me! Why do you think I wanted the house to be a sexless and non-flirty zone? You flirt with anything that moves, Jin! And you don’t even care! I wasn’t going to let you charm me. And then somehow you managed to do it anyway without any flirting. I wasn’t planning on falling for you, because I know you would never care! So yes, I am freaking out about a kiss and I think I’m entitled to do so!”

You were close to tears in pure frustration and your breathing had gotten out of control, as you defiantly stared him down. You wouldn’t let him toy with you anymore. He wasn’t worth it.

“How can you even say that? You really think, I wouldn’t care?”, he whispered in disbelief, taking in your angry stance and hurt eyes. “After everything that happened this week, you really think I don’t care? Why do you think, I avoided you after we slept together? Cause it’s not because I hate you, I’ll tell you that much!”

“Oh, get off your high horse, Jin! Don’t act like you actually care! You just want me to sleep with you again, so you can hang on to your pathetic title of the only one everyone comes back to seconds for!”, you shouted at him, the tears now pressing on your vocal cords. “I am not going to be another one of your second rounds.”

Your voice broke as you stared him down, refusing to step down even as the tears blurred your vision.

There was no answer and as the silence stretched between you, he felt utterly lost. He had no idea how to make things better, how to make you believe him, how to fix this.

“This is not happening, Jin,” you sighed, when the silence had gotten almost deafening, turning around to hide yourself in Hoseok’s room. All you wanted was silence and preferable a hug from your best friend.

“I didn’t go home, because I got kicked out by my parents,” Jin blurted out in a panicked voice before he even realized what he was doing. “I’m not welcome in my own childhood home. Which sucks, cause I borrowed a book from Namjoon last time I was there, and now he’s asking for it and I have no way of getting it back,” he laughed cynically, keeping his eyes trained on the floor in front of him, too scared to check if you were still in the room or if you had actually left him alone.

“Which book?”

Your voice was flat and devoid of feeling, but it was still your voice and it evoked a feeling of hope in Jin’s heart.

“The Nix.”

“That’s a good book.”

Your words hung in the air between you. Like a peace offering waiting to be accepted, though in this moment it wasn’t clear who had offered it.

“I’m not at Hoseok’s because my parents aren’t going be there and it hurts too much doing the traditional stuff without them.”

Your words caused Jin’s head to snap up and find you standing aimlessly in the middle of the living room. He had overheard some of the conversations between you and Hoseok and he knew about the rumors going around on campus about what had happened to your parents, but he never actually heard you talk about it and Hoseok always said it wasn’t his story to tell.

Maybe the two of you had more in common than he had thought.

His mind was a chaos of questions, but there seemed to be an understanding between you to not dig any deeper than these confessions, so instead of asking any of them he simply walked up and enveloped you in a hug.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. However you want to handle this, I’ll support it,” he mumbled against your hair, before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Wanna go to bed?”

“It’s not even noon yet, Jin,” you chuckled in a flat voice, though it calmed you down having Jin’s arms around you.

“We don’t have to sleep. We can just cuddle. Maybe nap,” he offered with a gentle smile, as he reached up to wipe a stray tear from your cheek and cradle your head closer to his chest in the process.

“I could use a nap,” you agreed, letting him lead you back into his bedroom, where your sweatshirt was still lying on the floor as a reminder of how little time had passed since this morning.

You spent the entire day in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, enveloped in each other’s arms, sharing kisses and cuddles, lazy compliments and sleepy smiles. When you got hungry, Jin cooked the both of you some food and brought it back to the room, where you both ate from the same plate, silently enjoying the food and each other.

Not once did any of you mention the subject of tomorrow. Too afraid of breaking the bubble around you, you tiptoed around the sensitive subjects and made sure to only touch upon safe areas.

But as nighttime rolled around and you were both too rested from a day of napping to sleep, the inevitable question got impossible to ignore.

“What do you want to do, flower?”, Jin whispered against your temple, as you lay cuddled against his side, one leg thrown over his and your arm draped across his stomach.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to do anything. This sucks,” you sighed, pouting as you pressed yourself closer to his side. “We don’t even know what this is yet and now we just have to end it.”

“No one says we have to end it,” he reminded you softly as he ran his fingers through your hair. “We just have to act like we don’t like each other again and then work up towards where we are now. Like when we’re with the others. But when we’re alone, we can still be like this.”

“But how would that even work, Jin? We hated each other before. I don’t think I can go back to that,” you sighed, recalling some of the arguments you had had over the past few weeks.

“I never hated you. I just found you infuriating,” he chuckled, which turned into a loud laugh when you smacked his chest.

“Well, I found you absolutely impossible and I really did hate how you treated me,” you reminded him. “I’m serious, Jinnie. I’m really not sure, I can go back to that.”

You pushed yourself up from his chest and lay down next to him instead, propping your head on your hand as you looked down at him.

“It’s either that or we give up now,” he reminded you with a gloomy voice, offering you an apologetic smile as he reached up to push some hair behind your ear.

You both knew there was another solution, but you didn’t dare bring it up to him. If he wasn’t comfortable telling his housemates about his family situation, then you weren’t going to push him. You had promised him to keep it a secret and you weren’t going to break that promise.

Though it would solve everything.

“Alright, fine,” you sighed, smiling fondly when he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek in gratitude. “We’ll stick with the plan from before all of this and act like this week never happened,” you declared, though the dread was already heavy in your stomach. There was no way this was going to end well.

Waking up the next morning, you were once more met with the interior of Jin’s room, though you felt the dark clouds over your heart the second you opened your eyes.

Hoseok would get home today.

You would have to lie to your best friend.

For him. For Jin. Was he worth it?

As if on cue the man in question reached out and pulled you towards him entangling his legs with yours under the blanket.

“I can hear your brain panicking, flower,” he mumbled sleepily against your hair as his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you even closer in his embrace. “Relax. Hoseok isn’t going to be home until tonight. And we’ll just tell him that I went home early. He won’t question it.”

“I don’t like lying to him, Jin. I really hate it,” you groaned, biting your lip as the concern overtook your actions.

“Hey, come here,” he whispered, turning you around to face him. “Don’t bite your lip. It will just start bleeding,” he tutted, tapping your bottom lip with his finger, making you blush in embarrassment. “Look, I know you don’t like it, but it won’t be for long, alright? It took us a week to get here, so we won’t need more than maybe two weeks of this show before we’re back here, yeah?”

Allowing his words to comfort you, you leaned into his touch with a nod and let his hands caress you in all the right places for your mind to let go of the worry.

When you emerged from his room an hour later, it was hand in hand and lazily trotting towards the kitchen with Jin’s voice promising you a delicious breakfast and fresh coffee.

While he got started on the food, you went to search for your phone which you were fairly sure you’d left in the living room the day before.

Immediately spotting it on the couch, you happily reached for it and unlocked it while walking back to the kitchen, scrolling through all the missed notifications.

Clicking on your conversation with Hoseok first, you found 7 unread messages from him and 4 missed calls.

“Jinnie, Hoseok wrote me,” you spoke in a small voice, making Jin turn towards you from the stove. “He already left his parents place this morning. He’ll be here in less than 30 min.”

Meeting Jin’s shocked features, you knew they provided a perfect mirror for your own face at the moment.

“Okay, so it will be a bit sooner than we thought, but that’s okay, Y/n. We know what to do,” he reminded you, abandoning the stove to pull you into a tight embrace. “It’s okay. We can do this. Do you still want breakfast?”, he asked in a worried tone, pulling back to take in your already clouded feature.

“No, please just give me some coffee. I’ll just…” you trailed off, looking around the kitchen where you had shared so many happy hours with him in the last week. It didn’t feel like your space in anymore. Like it had already expelled you. Even Jin’s red speaker in the window suddenly seemed foreign to you. “I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“Just wait here for the coffee, will you? Just stay with me until it’s done,” he pleaded with you, sensing the inevitable in the air as well.

“Of course,” you answered, reaching up to cup his cheek with your hand, sending him a reassuring smile in the process.

While the coffee brewed you stayed glued to his side, not even stepping back when he turned back to the stove to cook some breakfast despite you declining it.

When he held the coffee cup out for you, your heart was pounding and you had to force yourself to accept it, fighting back the clump in your throat, when you thanked him with a strained smile.

“I’m gonna go to my room. Just in case he comes home earlier. But please eat something, flower,” he spoke softly, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to your lips before turning around and walking out of the kitchen, leaving you alone.

The 10 minutes that passed from Jin leaving you in the kitchen to Hoseok stepping through the front door felt like an eternity to you as each tick of the clock reminded you of the upcoming challenge.

“Babe? I’m home,” Hoseok yelled out as he stepped through the door, immediately calling out for you like he always did.

“In here, Seokie,” you answered with a strained smile from the kitchen, though the second your eyes fell on your best friend you couldn’t help but grin at him. He looked so happy to see you and you really had missed him like crazy.

“Hi Y/n,” he hummed as he threw his bags on the floor and walked up to give you a bone-crushing hug, humming in content when he heard you giggle in response. “Man, I’ve missed you. Teasing my sister just isn’t the same without you.”

“I’m sure, you did just fine without me, Seok,” you chuckled as you returned the hug.

“So? How did everything go? The house is still intact I see,” he teased, making you scoff in feigned annoyance at him. “And where is this Jonathan fellow? Do I get to meet him?”

“Unfortunately, he already went home,” you grinned at him. “Is that why you came home earlier? You were hoping to meet him?”

“If that was the case, I wouldn’t have written you that I was coming home,” he answered knowingly, as he tickled your sides lightly making you shriek out a laugh. “No, I came home because I missed you, and I didn’t want you to be alone today.”

“Seokie, I’m fine,” you reassured him, pulling back to send him a smile as you reached for your coffee again.

“Hmm. Sure, then why have you only been calling me Seokie, since I stepped through the door?”

He cocked his head slightly and gave you a concerned one over, before his eyes met yours again, just in time to catch you rolling your eyes at him.

“I just like the sound of it, Hobi. Trust me, I’m fine, okay?”, you chuckled, though your hands had gotten clammy at his comment. You should have been more careful with the names. He really was a bit too attentive.

“Alright,” he hummed, though he didn’t seem too convinced. “So, tell me about Jonathan! How often did you see him?”

Chuckling at your best friend’s excitement on the prospect of dating news, you figured it couldn’t hurt to play along. Really it was a small lie in comparison with the other.

“Actually, he stayed here the entire week,” you giggled, feeling your cheeks flush at Hoseok’s excited screech.

“Miss Y/n Y/l/n, I never thought this day would come!”, he giggled like a schoolgirl, making you shrug your shoulders with a grin. “Is he treating you right? I need to meet him to make sure he’s right for you,” he declared with a sudden seriousness to his voice and a stern look.

“Hobi, he’s sweet and caring. You really don’t have to worry,” you laughed at him, making him snap back into his bubbly self.

“And how is he in bed?”, he asked, wiggling his eyebrows knowingly.

“Oh no, I’m not sharing that with you, Hobi. If this turns into a real thing, I don’t need you knowing that,” you chuckled, snorting out a loud laugh at his insulted look.

“You find yourself a man, start dating him and then you won’t even introduce this Jonathan-dude to me? I am insulted, Y/n,” he teased, though his eyes sparkled in glee.

“Who’s Jonathan?”, Jin’s voice interrupted, making both you and Hoseok turn around to find Jin leaning against the doorframe with an annoyingly uninterested look on his face.

Showtime.

“Hey man, when did you get back?”, Hoseok asked with a wide smile.

“Just got back this morning,” he shrugged, not even bothering to look at you. Damn, this was going to be harder than you had thought. “Who’s Jonathan?”, he repeated.

“Y/n’s new man. Apparently, he’s been staying here with her the entire week,” Hoseok shared excitedly, too happy for you to be bothered with Jin’s moody self.

“She stayed here the entire week?”, he asked with a cocked eyebrow and a tint of disgust on his face. “With some random guy? I hope you’re going wash the sheets before going to bed tonight, Hoseok. You never know what they might have been carrying.”

Jaw dropping in pure shock, your mind had a hard time catching up to the situation unfolding in front of you. You knew the deal had been to go back to how things had been, but you had still hoped for at least a less annoying version of him, and instead you got this.

“You are unbelievable, Jin. You really are.” Your voice was icy, and your stare was nothing short of murderous.

“Jin, just quit it, will you? Why do you insist on being such an ass?”, Hoseok sighed in exasperation at his friend, who still looked utterly unimpressed.

“Just let it go, Hobi. I don’t care. He’s not worth it,” you interjected, starring Jin down while doing so. “Let’s just go to your room and let Jin have the rest of the house so his ego has enough space to unfold.”

Pushing Hoseok in front of you, you sent Jin another deadly glare, catching him mouthing an apology with pleading eyes before he disappeared out of sight.

As you pushed Hoseok into his room, you caught sight of the book, you had pulled out of your bag the previous day and placed on the desk.

Just the sight of it made your blood boil.

Giving Hoseok a quick excuse about using the bathroom, you grabbed the book off the table and crossed the hallway in long strides, throwing open Jin’s bedroom door and finding him sitting on the edge of his bed with a broken look on his face.

The second you stepped through the door, he got up to walk towards you. He felt terrible for what he had said, and he wanted to apologize, but before he could get a word out, you beat him to it.

“You fucking asshole!”, you whisper-yelled, as you threw the book at Jin’s surprised face only missing him by a few centimeters and hitting the wall behind him. “You’re such an idiot. This is what I get for keeping your secret for you? This is your way of saying thanks?”

“You were the one who said to act like it never happened?”, he countered with an annoyed look on his face, crossing his arms in front of him suddenly not feeling too bad about his word choice.

“Yes, but I didn’t tell you to go back to treating me like absolute scum! How the hell could you think that was okay?”

“Oh, come on! You should know by now, that I don’t mean any of it,” he laughed in disbelief, reaching out to pull you into a hug only to have you push away his hands.

“Oh, really? That’s your counterargument, Jin? Are you serious right now?” If it hadn’t been for Hoseok’s presence in the house, you would have been screaming at him by now, but you had to continue arguing in hushed voices. “The only reason we had to do this, is because you don’t want to come clean to your housemates, Jin! I agreed to lie to my best friend for you and this is how you repay me?”

“Are you blaming me for this?”, he asked in disbelief, though he couldn’t fight down the guilt squeezing his heart.

“Yes, Jin! I am! I blame you! You lured me in with your caring words and you pretend domestic aura and then you turn around and treat me like this? Wake up! This is all on you!”, you argue with eyes widened in anger and disbelief at his arguments.

“Oh, stop playing so holy,” he scoffed at you, almost losing his breath from the guilt tearing in his chest. “You agreed to this! I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Snorting out a laugh of disbelief, you could do nothing but stare at him with utter disgust on your face, making him visibly shrink back in front of you.

“You are by far the biggest dick I have ever met in my life, Jin, and only in the wrong ways! You act like you own the entire world, you manipulate and deceive the people around you and then whine about people not liking you. I’ve seen you actually act like a human being this week and you know what? I really liked that Jin. But this,” you gestured to him with angry movements. “I want no part in this Jin. This is over! And I really mean that, in case you weren’t sure.”

As you slammed the door behind you on your way out, Jin deflated in on himself as your words echoed through his head. Casting down his eye in defeat, he caught sight of the book you had thrown.

There is was, staring back at him from the floor with its condemning cover.

The Nix.

E/N: Here we are, my loves. This was a long one, but I couldn’t find a fitting place to break it up. There is a lot going on here! What do you think? Would you had played along with Jin, knowing that he would be treating you well when you were alone? Or do you agree with Reader? Let me know your thoughts!

// part xii //

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alexiaugustin · 4 years

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Since I seem to be in a really positive mood today and even though this show clearly doesn't deserve this post here's my list of favorite skam france s6 clips:

Samedi 07:52 The day after ep1: I really really loved the first clip of the season a lot more than the trailer and I think that it was such a great introduction to Lola's pov. We really saw the world through her eyes in such a special way in that moment n I loved all the hints to the plot (same sex couple walking down the street and being viewed as completely normal> w|w storyline with no internalized homophobia; the raccon tag > foreshadowing for otteli and urbex plot; lola photographing broken things > insight into lola's feelings) The cinematography and use of pov was a masterpiece in this one.

Lundi 7:43 Tiff ep1: This one is just here for the grew being the most supportive and loving friend group, skipping classes together to take care of Daphné and that group hug <33 need I say more?? No. Every clip with the grew is gonna be on this list because the little screen time they had this season needs to be honoured. I'm sorry that they did you so dirty babes:((

Mercredi 13:03 Fuck the planet ep1: my absolute favorite mayla clip this season!! one of my absolute favorite clips in general!! I still remember the day when they dropped that clip and I got so excited for this season again. Maya being a climate activist and such a warm and lovely person I immediately fell in love with her. Maya looking at Lola as if she's a princess walking down the stairs to a ball in some fairy tale. Maya not letting Lola's cold remarks throw her off n replying with equal sass instead, Maya's iconic coming out line and Lola smiling for the first time all season!! That clip was really off the charts

Vendredi 16:43 Someone exceptional ep1: This is my absolute favorite clip of the whole season and the amount of times I've rewatched this is actually unhealthy. Something just clicked and for the first time I felt really connected with Lola and felt and understood her pain (probs to Flavie she was amazing here) I loved the lil details abt this clip: Lucas playing the piano, le grew all hugging Daphné, Daphné's speech and break down (lula was amazing here too I really really felt connected to Daphné in that moment), Eliott and Lola meeting for the first time (their best clip this season, gosh the potential they had to actually develop such a cool and beautiful sibling relationship with them and then they did.... whatever the rest of their storyline was), Lola trying so hard to read Daphné's speech and then holding her own instead because she so desperately needs to get this off her chest and make ppl understand her and last but not least the cinematic shots of her running out of the church and breaking down. Truly my favorite clip.

Mercredi 12:56 You don't know me ep2: my second favorite mayla clip and hell did I love their dynamic and chemistry in this one. The community service clips were so so special and gave them such unique vibes I'm so sad that the rest of their storyline really couldn't live up to that because the beginning really was breathtaking and I was so here for their storyline and really believed that I would get the w|w rep I deserve this season. Rip

Jeudi 19:33 Sorry ep2: Daphné and Lola finally warming up to eachother, both of them apologizing, Lola saying that she can make dinner and they can watch one of Daphné's favorite tv shows together. Baby steps. Also Daphné grieving and smelling her mother's shirt to find comfort. Such an important clip!!

Vendredi 22:22 Otteli ep2: Again the opening shots and cinematography of this clip!! Lola meeting la mif for the first time and I was completely buying their found family dynamic from the start, maya and lola being 👀 the entire time and last but not least Eliott being introduced as urbex legend n royalty,, the wasted potential of that storyline tho...

Samedi 6:43 An awesome party ep3: again maya's and lola's chemistry in this one and their first real and deep conversation, maya opening up about her parents and how she found a home and family in la mif, their smiles and laughs and lola replying to Daphné's text messages because that's growth baby!

Lundi 7:53 The slap ep3: again just here for le grew, the way they all pulled daphné in for a group hug I'm cryinnn. Also Lucas telling the people who were gossiping abt Lola to turn around and mind their own business, dare I say iconic. the way we could have had it all this season and then skamfr decided to make them enemies. Hate it here

Samedi 13:18 Hangover ep4: this clip being a parallel to the beginning of ep2, we all believed that Lola went out and slept with another stranger and would feel lost and overwhelmed again and then! we and she found out that she's at maya's n instead of being lost again she completely openes up to Maya abt her life and Maya just holds her and Lola clings onto her as if her life depends on it and finds comfort in Maya. Still crying about this one

Mardi 21:43 You want to talk about it? ep4: I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I've rewatched this clip countless of times simply because seeing Eliott so happy and excited at his workplace has me feeling some type of way. I liked his and Lola's general dynamic in this one my main problem is just that it was so damn underdeveloped and came out of nowhere. Skam france you're a transmedia show text messages would have really helped you bby!!

Samedi 14:23 Luquette ep5: ohh out of all the clips with Eliott in it this one's definitely my favorite (and also one of the only ones I liked) both Eliott and Lola getting to speak for themself abt their mental health, seeing Eliott's development going from being ashamed and hiding his mental illness to now being so open about it and giving others advice, them talking about Eliott's Lucas and Lola's Luquette (🥺) Eliott being ready to run from Daphné with Lola and Lola saying that she's gonna take responsibility and Eliott looking like a proud big brother > the only clip with sibling vibes of them this season

Samedi 17:36 Just a girl ep5: Daphné and Lola reconciling, Daphné wanting to buy Lola picture frames and not letting that go even tho they have so little money and she sorts other stuff out instead. Please their sister bond this season has my heart. And also Maya and Lola at that supermarket gay panic energy at its finest. I loved that clip and that even after what happened last Friday Maya is still such a warm and loving person in that clip. Ugh why did they had to ruin her character later that season??☹

Mercredi 18:49 I miss you ep5: in case y'all are wondering if I'm just gonna put every single mayla clip on that list- don't worry this one is gonna be the last in a while. Anyway back to the good old days lamifex hanging all out together and being literal children together <33 mayla finally getting to talk and Maya explaining herself, showing Lola her scars and telling her that she misses her when she's not around. My heart combusted watching that clip

Lundi 12:35 We are even ep6: le grew studying together!! especially lucas and imane!!!! screaming. the only time we ever got to see them preparing for the bac but at least we have this one clip. Basile and Lola sibling dynamic and also the clip confirming that Daphné indeed has an eating disorder and Lola beginning to be really worried about her

Mercredi 18:27 I don't know what you're looking for ep6: Lola finding out about Daphné's eating disorder and finding proof in her room, Daphné freaking out and the last shots of her trying so hard not to fall apart, lula's acting in this scene!! It was all so realistic it truly is one of the top ten clips too

Jeudi 21:53 It won't always work ep6: Daphné and Lola talking and Lola opening up abt her addiction problems and telling Daphné that she can really really understand her and that both of them can get better again, Lola and Daphné being completely at peace and cuddling on the couch and watching tv together. One of my favorite clips of them this season I just love their sister bond so much

Mercredi 16:52 The break up ep7: both Lula's and Paul's acting was incredibly I was 100% buying that break up, Basile desperately wanting to help Daphné but not really knowing how, Daphné throwing him out and immediately having a break down, feeling so helpless and lost :'(( also Lola seeing her sister breaking down and not knowing how to help her either broke my heart. Protect the Lecomte sisters at all costs

Dimanche 18:32 Freesias ep8: for me this one was the true full cycle moment this season. The Lecomte family visiting their mum on mother's day, Lola revealing that she does know her favorite flowers and that her mum used to sent them to her along with letters she never read, Lola saying that if she could she might read them now but it's too late for that and in some kind of way she was making peace with her mum and everything that happened between them. Daphné taking the umbrella so Thierry can pull Lola close and them just standing in the rain and healing n growing as a family!! This clip was so emotional and important and skamfr had the audacity to destroy all that development with Thierry for useless drama. I'm endlessly bitter

Mardi 18:03 Vital prognosis ep8: just daphné, basile, lola and maya being a happy lil family together. This clip was so peaceful and beautiful to watch every time ep9 ruined my mood I went back to this clip to cheer myself up again. Really wish we could have seen more of them together and maya and lola as a couple

Vendredi 23:04 Emergency ep10: okay so I really didn't like that skamfr switched povs to build up suspense and was actually just triggering for many of us. But I just wanna say Lula's acting!!! The way she said "But how do you know we're going to find her, Lucas? Putain! She has never left a note before this is the first time for all we know" truly her acting!! I rewatched that clip so many times for that line alone (until I realized that the storyline was actually really triggering for me so I haven't watched the clip ever since but still)

Samedi 01:06 Sisters ep10: still hate the storyline and that it was done in episode 10 but I'm sooo glad that Daphné went to talk to Lola alone, that Daphné tells her that she's always loved her and basically everything they said in that clip!! Really moving and emotional one of the only clips that really made me cry this season. Again I live for Flavie's and Lula's acting

Mercredi 16:38 Beep beep beep ep10: even tho the mayla storyline was in context of the season really lacking depth at this point, watching this clip ignoring the context really was a cultural reset. One thing I love abt skam france is just that they let lgbt people live their lives without having homophobia being thrown at them left and right so kissing your gf in the middle of the supermarket like that might not be realistic but I don't care!!!!! let the gays live their life and kiss in the supermarket!!! thanks!! also that song especially the lyrics "darling I won't let you go" thoughts are being thunk💌

And yeah basically that's it. As yall may notice I loved the first half of the season way more than the second half and I feel like there was so much wasted potential and important storylines left unaddressed because they wanted to throw in more drama....

#skam france

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snarkywrites · 4 years

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Saturn in Aquarius: New Terrain

Saturn enters the sign of Aquarius on March 21st. This can bring a lot of gloom and doom to some people, but this is generally an exciting period of time as we see the end of one chapter with Saturn in Capricorn and get ready for the innovation that this Aquarius transit offers to bring us all. The month of March has been riddled with a lot of challenges, but this is something that we have come to expect, especially with the Saturn and Pluto conjunction from earlier this year still leaving some of the residue after the transit alleviated. With Saturn entering Aquarius, we can expect a drastic change with energy since there won’t be as many planets in the sign of Capricorn, slowing down the potency of its power. In Aquarius we can expect changes in philosophies from many people, a higher dedication from those in power and a need for us all to connect. The last time Saturn was in Aquarius, we saw the birth, expansion and the impact that the internet has had on us all. Technology is such a major aspect of our lives that because of recent events, we have seen how corporations have been forced to embrace sending employees to work from home, entrepreneurs are being pushed to incorporate technology into their small businesses more and educational systems have also been pushed into distance schooling. A major shift at the 29th Degree of Saturn in the sign of Capricorn, showing a mirror of what is to come for the next three months, and then Saturn will go back from Aquarius into Capricorn. By 2021, we will have a clearer picture of what we will be expecting and how the innovations of Saturn in Aquarius will shift the entire collective for the next 30 years when it returns to this sign.

Aries – The last few years you have been focused on establishing your place in the world; concentrating on top goals and trying to spark the energy within to tackle any challenges. Saturn in Capricorn was a test, not only for your sign, but for all Cardinals. You may have learned a lot about yourself, how you present yourself to the world and what the world views you as. If you had trouble managing your temper, this transit was going to teach you how to be more in control and diplomatic. To second guess showing your rage and to carry yourself more maturely were more focal points. Capricorn is a sign of self-control, putting the reigns on your impulsive sign. With the shift into Aquarius, your focus will be on putting into practice what was learned during Saturn in Capricorn. These tools can help you achieve greatness if you practice patience. Most likely, you will be accustomed to taking on roles that demand for you to be in positions of power with grace. Interpersonal relationships now take on a greater meaning to help you climb higher and reach for more. Continue to dream and believing in yourself but know that depending on how well your connections are with the collective will determine how much further you can advance.

Taurus – While Saturn in Capricorn focused on how you broadened your stances as well as promoted the exploration of philosophies, you are now going to be given a taste of what you will deal with for the next three years beginning 2021. This brief transit will be eye opening for you, especially as it will shift your attention to the future. Saturn in Aquarius will be applying some pressures on your sign, to become more comfortable in the spotlight, to get ready to take action and to set a good foundation for what you want to achieve in the future. This transit is a rebuilding for your character, and it will show you sides of yourself you did not know of until now. Don’t panic, embrace this. It will be a very tough road ahead, but this will be a very satisfying transit and one that you will look back on in the future. For now, when everything feels overwhelming, make sure to take that step back and analyze what plans need to be made and restructured in order to keep on going. Success is within your reach, so get ready for the impossible.

Gemini – You experienced intensity during Saturn in Capricorn which pushed you to the limits, making it almost too much to bear. But now things will be changing for more pleasant waters as you dip your toes into Saturn in Aquarius. You will be more thankful for this change because it takes off some of the pressures you had faced in the last thee years. It will be a surprise to have this upcoming shift in sign, because things will be more aligned with what your sign represents. This Saturn in Aquarius transit will be more on the spiritual level as you embrace new methods of thinking and will dive into learning more about the collective. As Saturn moves into an air sign, you will be more willing to embrace what it has to offer and learn from it. Your view of the world will change, as Saturn continues to rise up towards the highest point in your chart. Get ready for a new experience, that will teach you more about yourself

Cancer – Saturn in Capricorn taught you about sacrifices and understanding the meaning of relationships. This transit was a learning experience as you dealt with coping with your selfishness and ability to compromise with partnerships. This does not only affect your romantic partnerships, but your friendships as well. The ugly sides might have crept through as you noticed some disheartening sides to you, but you learned. In Capricorn, you focused on the dynamic you had with others. When Saturn moves into the sign of Aquarius later this month, you will see the impact that the lessons in Capricorn have taught you. It will be a moment of self-discovery, of shedding old ways and learning to handle the psychological aspects of yourself that you might have been repressing. Saturn in Aquarius will force you to break some chains, make things uncomfortable as you dive deeper in your mind to seek answers. It is a radical period for you, but you will learn to navigate through it. A shift in mentality will be focused on your stability, how you see yourself and your place in the world.

Leo – This transit will be an eye opener for you since you will now be on some unexpected terrain. With Saturn in Capricorn, you learned what it meant to work hard in order to move forward. For the last three years, you were put to the test and experienced some highs and lows because you may have felt as if your efforts were in vain. But you are close to the finish line. Saturn in Capricorn taught you endurance and to practice (a lot of) patience. It was a way to explore parts of yourself that you did not want to confront. In Capricorn, the struggle might have felt endless and each test was harder than the last. Now, with Saturn entering Aquarius, you will feel some of that weight lifted (for three months) before it retrogrades back in Capricorn. With this new shift in sign, you will understand your dynamic with others and the value in relationships and partnerships. It can be a period of reflection and more frustration as you decide who to keep in your personal space and who to isolate. Here you will flirt back and forth with the idea of asserting your independence but at the same time practice a form of codependency. Nevertheless, you will find your footing and push on forward to understanding yet another piece of you.

Virgo – You have been feeling the pressure of this upcoming transit just looming. For years, it might have felt as if every moment of potential happiness just withered and faded. But you Saturn in Capricorn has taught you that the show must go on, even when life moves too fast for you to keep up. You have embraced practicing being in hermit mode, opting to stay away from the drama and learn more about yourself and keeping close to your loved ones. You may have even ended a few close connections and relationships in order to “find yourself” but now you will be accustomed to the energy that Saturn in Aquarius will bring to your life starting this upcoming week for its three month stint and then later this year before we look toward 2021. Virgos will be able to handle this energy (surprisingly) because Saturn in Aquarius will ask “what can you do for me today?” As the sign that enjoys tasks and service, you will be more than willing to take on the challenges that will be presented in your day to day life. This is comfortable energy for you, especially since it will reshape how you approach your daily routines and it might even prompt you to begin (or make more of an effort) to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Libra – Saturn in Capricorn may have brought some nightmare moments to a few of you as you struggled with establishing some foundations to expand your roots while dealing with the pressures of the world. This transit might have shaken you to your core, but it forced you to evolve, to become stronger and to cope with the changes that were to come. During this three-year transit, you learned how to steer through waters that you were not familiar with. While Saturn in Capricorn will be gifting you a coat of armor, you will be using this to further expand during the Saturn in Aquarius transit. Since Saturn will be in a fellow air sign, you might be more receptive to the transition. It may or may not feel seamless at first, as we pull further and further away from the Earth sign’s domain and acclimate to the air sign’s energy. Here you will learn about what matters to you and what you should not be taking for granted. It might also feel as if you are going through a slump, but this is just the grounding needed in order to prepare for what comes next. Your coat of armor will be strengthened, and you will endure when this transit officially begins in 2021.

Scorpio – While you faced challenges in the last two years under Saturn in Capricorn with communication. You have made peace with some old issues with siblings or distant relatives thanks to this Jupiter transit which may have alleviated any tensions. Now with Saturn entering the sign of Aquarius, you will deal with your roots and foundation. Saturn in Aquarius might feel like the rug is being pulled from under you, as you find a way to regain your footing. The transit begins this week, for three months and then it will retrograde back into the sign of Capricorn. You will see what aspects of your life need to be stabilized and it might even all begin with home. Aquarius promises to make you rethink how you view your comfort zones and what changes you can make or that Saturn will decide to make for you. A lot of patience will be needed with this transit, as it will be a learning period for you. After this transit, you will look back and think on how the old you has transformed into a formidable leader.

Sagittarius – You might feel like the veteran now with these Saturn transits since Saturn in Sagittarius was a bit of a doozy not only for you, but for the collective. We experienced a new era in politics and how it related to humanity through Saturn’s transit in your sign. In Capricorn, you felt the relief, but the pressures of stabilizing the material and how it related to you. Now, with Saturn in Aquarius, you will go back to the philosophical moments that your sign brought. It will be a comfortable transit, riddled with its own challenges but you will be mentally stimulated by what it has to offer. Your perception of the world and how it will impact you comes to play. You will also become more aware of the impact that your words might have as well as the strength of your connections with others. You might even want to partake in making changes for the collective or become a disruptive force with your pen. Take heed and be wise now. Saturn will teach you the patience needed when it comes to expression, which can cause conflict and frustrations with others. Remember to take things one day at a time, to keep going strong and to think before you speak.

Capricorn – An awakening with the shift from Saturn in Capricorn to Aquarius. The mountain of responsibilities and challenges begins to slowly dissipate as you await the verdict on everything that you have dealt with so far. The next three months will be a bit of a Spring Break for you as you sort and put yourself back together. The puzzle pieces that have been left at your disposal will now scream out for you to put them back in place. You have learned a lot; you have dealt with the trials and have found the key to everything. Your period of reflection begins now, as you shed the skin of the past and look forward to a new chapter in your life. Saturn in Aquarius will make you focus on solidifying your foundations, on reclaiming your power and bringing order to what you foresee in the future. It all begins now with the struggles you will face with finances and how you relate to the material. Put your game face on, especially during the Saturn and Mars conjunction in Aquarius happening later this month.

Aquarius – Saturn is finally in your sign, bringing a moment of transformation that will begin for the next three months. Saturn officially enters Aquarius December 2020, so use this period as a learning guide for what you will be expecting early next year. The last couple of years might have felt like a dream state where you were waiting for something to finally wake you up. You have felt the calm before the storm for years now, struggling with any internal battles, waiting for the resolution to your problems as you seek others for guidance in understanding what was happening and where you were going. As an Aquarius, you were probably more concerned with your place in the world and the connection, the dwindling connections between you and the outside world probably created pressures. Saturn in your sign will break down aspects of yourself and rebuild them into stronger versions. This transit will be tough, because it is happening in your sign but the rewards after it will be worth it. It is a period of hard work, reflection and changes. Life lessons learned during this period will help you grow more in the future. Now is the beginning of your moment of empowerment because after this transit is officially over (three years from now) you will be more powerful and shine brighter than before.

Pisces – Pisces placements can pretty much handle most transits that deal with the subconscious and Saturn in Aquarius will be something you might be able to understand. Saturn in Aquarius brings you back to your moments you felt most vulnerable and makes you evaluate your sentiments regarding them. This shift will be an eye-opening experience, but for the brief period Saturn is in Aquarius you will learn what to expect beginning in December 17th, 2020. All the lessons that have been learned throughout the years will be pivotal for this transit. It will make you more in tune with who you are and will awaken some of those moments that you have felt weak and powerless. Nevertheless, you are used to finding your inner strength and emerging more powerful from the darker times. While Saturn in Capricorn taught you how to cooperate with the collective, to come together as a team, this brief transit will show you what it can feel like to be alone but to find your greatest ally in the darkness, which is you.

#Saturn #Saturn in Aquarius #Astrology #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces

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ofcloudsandstars · 4 years

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Celestial Forecast

Week 17-23

Happy Pisces Season! 🐟✨This week will bring some exciting shifts before we end on the new moon's final cycle in Pisces! It will start off with Mercury retrograding in Pisces which will create a time of mental rest and exploration while some helpful lunar transits will help us to clear house and help break up old or outdated routines to try new things.

Some overall advice this week: Do not be afraid to try new things and experiment in areas that you were always drawn to but always gave excuses as to why you felt you couldn't explore them before. With the retrograde it's not a time to start new things but it gives a safe window for you to explore and experiment with new stuff noncommittally.

Some additional notes: I've decided to add in the details for lunar transits so the ☽ next to a transit signifies that. Lunar transits are brief but they add additional flavors to the 'mood' of the day so I find it important to add them in (also us witches follow the moon so it's important). Also I write for a witch community in London so the time is set to UTC and the week starts from Monday and ends on Sundays.

17th

Mercury Retrograde in Pisces

☽ Moon in Sagittarius square Mercury in Pisces ☽ Moon in Sagittarius square Neptune in Pisces

Energy: Today is the beginning of Mercury's retrograde period. With mercury moving reverse in Pisces we can feel like illusions hidden in our reality will pop out and escaping through our normal means would not work as well at the moment. The moon in Sagittarius might still give a overall mood of optimism but today it will square both mercury and then Neptune in Pisces creating moments of confusion between one's thoughts and feelings, or one's emotions overpowering their logical minds and strange experiences that will leave you questioning reality. With the mixture of the optimistic Sagittarius moon and it's square with Neptune we may find that we are deluding ourselves or being deceived by others in effort to keep positive. It'll also be easy to over indulge and escape reality through substance abuse. The energy of this day could be used healthily by escaping reality safely such as taking an extra nap, watching films, or partaking in anything to satisfy your imagination. However with mercury retrograding in Pisces it's best to also look at tasks you may have been putting off or aim to face hard truths in your life so that you can learn the lessons quickly and find ways to resolve them. Taking too much time to avoid issues by escaping today may result in problems snowballing later.

Recommendations: Shadow work babey! It's mercury retrograde. (Do some divination on what you might have been lying to yourself about and how to face those tasks or what inner issues may be blocking you). Meditation, rest

________________

18th

Sun enters Pisces ☀️🐟

VOC 9:03-10:36AM Moon enters Capricorn

☽ Moon trines Uranus in Taurus ☽ Moon conjunct Mars in Capricorn

Energy: It's Pisces season!! Time for dreaminess, deep sadness, lots of rain, strange astral plane adventures when you were just trying to take a nap, and unasked for empath-transmitted feelings. When the sun is in Pisces we are guided by altruistic feelings and we tend to get lost in our imaginations. However with mercury retrograding in Pisces for some weeks, this combo might bring up some less favorable aspects of Pisces season such as deep sadness and feeling victimized by life and elusiveness. The moon today will be in Capricorn which is a great day to organizing life and getting shit together. Use this energy to dive deep into your subconscious and clean house (moon is waning now so it's a great time to cleanse, shed and banish physically, emotionally or spiritually) or at least distract yourself from whatever nightmares are hiding deep down there by cleaning your whole room!! (Yes we are responsible adults what do you mean 'problems we may be avoiding?' I've ironed my bed-sheets!) I know some people adverse to like.. getting stuff done will probably read this day's energy vibe and be like: what is she talking about? But the moon is going to conjunct Mars in Capricorn, so you WILL have the energy and drive to karate-chop tasks off your list today. The moon is also trining Uranus so if you do want to make changes to your room or home this transit will favor it. Additionally this energy will urge you to want to make changes to your routine so if you do decide to take this motivating energy to make a change in life (and not delude yourself by ironing your bed-sheets) then you will be in favor to initiate change!

Recommendations: What have you been putting off forever? Do it. Make it magical by wearing hematite or drinking some intentions-made coffee or tea.

________________

19th

☽ Moon in Capricorn square Venus in Aries ☽ Moon in Capricorn conjunct Jupiter in Capricorn

Energy: With the moon still transiting ambitious Capricorn you will feel the power to get things done. Finish what is not finished (just don't start anything new with mercury retrograding). The moon will be making two interesting transits today which are the square it will make with Venus in Aries and conjunction with Jupiter in Capricorn. The two combinations will make today a wonderful day to socialize, be generous and will surge a need for love and affection. Luck is on your side today to tackle long standing obstacles and you will get support from loved ones. However with the square of course energy can go the other way meaning if you are alone or in an unhappy relation you could potentially feel sad and lonely on this day. (Even happier relationships could potentially undergo some uncomfortable moments but you can make up for it through acts of love or trying to please your partner).

Recommendations: brewing teas or coffees for energy and ambition (with the intention to get tasks done). Money spells, self love magic, alluring glamours (to get extra attention if you are feeling lonely and needy).

________________

20th

Jupiter in Capricorn sextiles Neptune in Pisces

☽ Juno rx in Libra square Moon in Capricorn ☽ Moon in Capricorn conjuncts Pluto in Capricorn ☽ Moon sextiles Sedna in Taurus ☽ Moon conjunct Saturn in Capricorn

☽ VOC 2:18-7:41PM ☽ Moon enters Aquarius

Energy: Today may feel a bit heavy but is promising as it helps to bring some awareness or enlightenment to anything that may be plaguing you (especially in the realm of romance or self worth). A major transit that will peak today will be Jupiter in Capricorn sextiling Neptune in Pisces. It will bring good energy, harmony and expansion to spiritual awareness or even enlightenment. This will be amplified by the moon in Capricorn conjunct Pluto which can bring up deep feelings hidden in the subconscious that may make you confront your shadows before you can gain the next level of awareness. To add to these flavors you also have Juno retrograding in Libra which will square the moon in Capricorn in addition to the moon conjunct Saturn in Capricorn which will all bring up very heavy and bitter feelings towards relationships not fulfilling our needs of affection or extreme loneliness. Finally the moon will sextile Sedna in Taurus which could be a beneficial connection to find the light in the dark of the situation. Though the other lunar transits will call for emotional maturity, the confrontation of our shadows, and caring for ourselves instead of seeking it in a partner, this sextile with Sedna along with Jupiter sextile Neptune could bring moments of enlightenment and finding ways to create something positive in our personal dark depths.

The moon will be void of course for most of the day so any spells you wish to send out should wait until the moon enters Aquarius which will bring a mood of improvement or need of change which could help change the pace if we are seeking ways to improve our behavior.

Recommendations: Shadow Work again but with more effort this time. Self-therapy exercises such as free-writing (free stream of consciousness writing), self care/self love magic, bath magic

________________

21st

Mars in Capricorn trines Uranus in Taurus

☽ Moon squares Uranus in Taurus ☽ Moon conjunct Ceres in Aquarius

Energy: Uranus the planet of surprises and changes is going to be making a few exciting cameos today in the realm of aspects. With Mars trining Uranus, we may get a huge drive to start new things (please don't) and with the moon squaring Uranus we will feel the pressure to seek out anything exciting. The two aspects together can create a drive for new experiences (which is ok with mercury retrograde as long as you are just exploring and not making any long term commitments), and also strong sexual drive and emotional impulsiveness. Finding a hook up today should come easy and you might suddenly find someone new that will catch your eye or an exciting infatuation but if you are in a relationship then try to channel this mars energy towards an ongoing project cause with the moon squaring Uranus, emotional outbursts and rapid mood swings especially with close ones could blow up today and drama could easily escalate.

With the moon conjunct Ceres in Aquarius we may feel the need to cater to ourselves or loved ones and would probably find emotional satisfaction in volunteering for the community or helping a friend. (Who knows if you are single you could probably find a hottie volunteering with you and that Mars trining Uranus could be pretty beneficial). Self-care or self fulfillment might arise in strange or surprising ways today (especially with the moon squaring Uranus). Treat yourself to something new like a new restaurant, dish, movie, or activity today. If you are low on money try a new hobby you've always wanted to check out. With mercury in retrograde its a good time to experiment, so even if you get that 'I can't start any new projects cause I have anxiety that it won't come out perfect' it doesn't matter cause you shouldn't be aiming to finish anything fool!! It's mercury retrograde!! Just bust open those watercolors you've been wanting to use forever and chill the fuck out!!

Recommendations: sex magic to attract opportunities, brewing coffees and teas with intention to get work done, protection magic, trying something new, doing blessings for friends and loved ones.

________________

22nd

Sun in Pisces sextiles Uranus in Taurus

☽ Juno rx in Libra sextiles Moon in Aquarius ☽ Moon conjunct Eros in Aquarius ☽ Moon squares Sedna in Taurus

☽ VOC 4:08am-6:37am

Energy: The energy of yesterday can carry on to today but be amplified as the Sun in Pisces gets in the mix with the Uranian energies pushing new opportunities and excitement. The Sun will sextile Uranus in Taurus bringing pleasant surprises and stimulating encounters. Everything from creativity, socializing and discovering new things will be in focus today. Today may be awful to sticking to routines and will bring a lot of distractions but on the bright side with new experimentation can bring new routines and easier ways to doing things.

The lunar transits will add to this with the Moon conjunct the sexual asteroid Eros in Aquarius which will bring an intense emotional need to fulfill our passions and desires. New hook ups could seem appealing, new sexual explorations could be rewarding. With Juno rx in Libra sextiling the Moon in Aquarius we could feel longing to connect with someone who could bring these desires to reality OR with mercury retrograde we may feel the need to contact our ex lovers and re-unite (maybe don't.) To add to this Uranian dynamic of the day bringing surprises, new experiences and amplifying our passionate desires, the moon will square Sedna creating tension to find ways to manifest these desires to light. If this energy is ignored it may create tension where we will feel bitter and neglected or victimized by life (adding to another day in the string of us feeling lonely and that no one wants us to have exciting Eros in Aquarius sex with) but fear not as the life-giving energy of Sedna could be used in a way to channel this intense passionate emotional energy into art or projects. If projects aren't cutting it you can get it out through venting online. However the major solar transit flowing harmoniously with Uranus could bring about many exciting distractions that could help deter you from feeling low or calling your ex. (Who knows maybe you won't need an ex if you meet the hottie with the transits yesterday.)

Recommendations: Avoid manifestations since the moon is void of coursing for a chunk of the day. Use the time to reflect and focus on art or mental exploration. If you still crave some magical activities then consider making new magical tools or exploring a new aspect of your craft. Trying new things will be beneficial today. It will also be nice to start new things as the new moon is tomorrow so it could flavor the next lunar cycle.

________________

23rd

New Moon in Pisces

☽ Moon conjunct Mercury rx in Pisces ☽ Moon conjunct Neptune in Pisces

Jupiter in Capricorn squares Venus in Aries

Energy: This New Moon may bring some MESSY FEELINGS about. As if a Moon transiting Pisces wasn't enough, the new moon amplifying energy will cross over Mercury's retrograde and the ruler of Pisces, Neptune. In addition to all this Jupiter in Capricorn is going to square Venus in impulsive Aries. This hot mess sadness sandwich will bring a day of our ugly truths (usually being hidden by shimmery illusions to cope, now ripped off like a blistering band-aid mark thanks to Mercury rx) coming out to flaunt itself like a street flasher busting open his trench coat. With the moon conjunct Neptune along with Venus squaring Jupiter today will be the PRIME day where we will feel the deep urge to drown ourselves in over indulgence or escape. Escaping might not be as easy with the mercurial retrograde and you could even get consequences with overspending with the Venus x Jupiter square. In addition you should absolutely apply some self psychic-protection as the lunar transit conjunct Neptune will bring a huge sense of empath and psychic abilities which could be overwhelming and confusing.

To use the energy of today positively you should make the commitment to confront what has been bothering you or the truths you have been ignoring and make a plan this lunar cycle to act on it. New moon in Pisces allows us to accept imperfections in ourselves and take a leap of faith in something we have always believed in but were too afraid to put our trust in. Look deep within yourself to the dreams you have been neglecting or ignoring and act on them. That's what mercury might try to bring to the surface.

Recommendations: Vision boards! Art based magic, protection magic, affirmations to go after your dreams, purging/release by crying, making charm bags to help succeed in achieving our goals.

#astrology #witchblr #witches of tumblr #pisces new moon #new moon #pisces

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aspidenchantress · 4 years

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WHEN WITCHES LET THEMSELVES BURN : iii

A/N : Well, it’s been around four months since I’ve last posted a chapter, so . . . hello? Long time no see. Warning ahead, there may be some mistakes here and there. With that being said, enjoy.

Comments make my heart happy :) . Let me know if you want to be tagged.

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Her plants were dead.

Again.

Nesta knew Elain was in the habit of tending to them, as she did for pretty much all of the green life within the estate’s walls and beyond. She, herself, remembered to water them from time to time, thing she had been greatly scolded for by her sister, because there is, apparently, such thing as too much water for a plant.

And yet here she was, again, looking down at dead flowers. She didn’t particularly want to contemplate on why this only seemed to happen to her. She could already see the joke potential in it. Has surely heard said jokes while walking down the halls of the servants’ quarters, when she felt the need to escape and settle her thoughts.

She blamed it on the location of her room anyways.

But there were times, when she let her mind wonder. When she was out in the gardens, just for the sake of being in Elain’s company, and she would lift the blanket she sat on, only to find small patches of black grass, where she could’ve sworn it had previously been green.

When, during one uncharacteristically somber summer night, an exhausted rider, clad in the common blue-and-grey uniform of Hybern, had come to their gates, dropped a package at their feet, and stormed out into the night without a word.

And the things she felt when opening that package–

“Are you ready?”, an impatient voice drawled from behind her room’s door, putting an end to Nesta’s train of thought. She huffed, annoyed, not at Feyre’s presence, but at what it meant.

“Yes.”, Nesta gritted out. “Just a moment.”, she added, while stepping aside from the window and towards her dressing table, grabbing her brush and some hair pins to tend to her still undone hair.

In a usual Feyre manner, her sister completely ignored her statement, and went for the handle to let herself in. Only to find the door locked. “Nesta, open up.”, she said, her voice higher than previously, but still muffled by the heavy, mahogany door between them. “I feel stupid waiting alone in this stupid hall, in this stupid dress.” , Feyre whined, the sound of the handle matching her frustration.

Nesta just hummed and went back to the battlefield that was her hair. She held the hairbrush as if she carried a weapon, and let all her irritation go into untangling her brown strands, darker than her sisters’ golden ones.

The rattling stopped and Nesta let her shoulders relax. A few seconds later, a more subtle sound began, and she barely had the time to react when the handle’s lock clicked and the door opened to reveal Feyre in all her smug glory, arms crossed, hip resting against the frame, shit-eating grin full on display.

Nesta huffed again, and ignored her as she made her way inside the room.

As always, she was beautiful, as the forest is beautiful in its wilderness and the thunderstorm in its intensity. Nesta eyed her aforementioned stupid dress, and was inclined to agree. Presenting itself in a headache-worthy salmon shade, with an overly puffy skirt, and sleeves, the gown was a monstrosity. There was barely any space for it on Nesta’s bed as Feyre plopped on it, arms raising over her face, a miserable sigh escaping her mouth.

Nesta’s own mouth hardly had time to raise by its corners when Feyre raised one threatening finger and hissed : “Don’t you dare!”

She raised herself up on her elbows, and continued, “I pulled one, minuscule, harmless, prank on Elain, which she apparently took to heart.” She rolled her eyes. “It was three months ago, for God’s sake! I thought she had forgotten, fat mistake! I woke up today to see all of my gowns covered in fertilizer. This is the only thing Alis could get her hands on in time.”

Nesta stared at her baby sister, one corner of her mouth threatening to rise again.

Feyre squinted her eyes, “Don’t.”

Another corner up.

“Nesta.”

Nesta tilted her head back, letting out a snorting, joyful laugh. Feyre tried to scowl at her but found her face softening instead. Her sister was such a serious person, face immobile, sunken into a specific grimness. And yet when she found something worthy of amusement, which was a rare occurrence indeed, she positively howled. It was strange for Feyre, the way the past year had changed her family’s dynamic, but she wouldn’t change it for the world.

Even if it meant having to continue her life with a stained conscience, and even more stained heart.

She eventually joined her sister’s laughter attack, chuckling, “I’m serious! I take pity on whatever poor bastard she will end up seeing as fit for her. The boy won’t know what he’s gotten himself into till he got a ring suffocating his finger. Innocent Archeron, my ass!”

Nesta lovingly shook her head, before shifting her features back into calm impassiveness. as if the funny conversation had never taken place. She continued working on her hair.

She could feel Feyre’s silent assessment burning the side of her face, and her jaw tensioned , waiting for the change in topic.

“It’s almost time to welcome the first guests.”, Feyre said softly, cautiously.

“I’m aware.”

“You’d normally be ready by now. You’d actually be the first to leave her chambers, wide awake, perfect condition. Now you’re not even done with your hair.”

Nesta closed her eyes, listening to her sister’s quiet steps as she approached her. Her brush was taken from her hand, and Feyre took over the task.

“Are you having second thoughts?”, Freyre asked after a while.

Nesta opened her eyes, watching their reflection in the mirror. Same ice-blue orbs met her stare, one not-so-well-kept eyebrow arching in question.

“Of course I’m not”, she responded. “This is good. This is needed. We’ve dwelled in shadows long enough. It’s time to open the gates.”

Feyre hummed. “There’s something on your mind.”

“There’s always something on my mind.”

“You can stay here if it pleases you. Elain and I can handle them just fine.”

“It will only serve as an opportunity to create more rumors. I’m fine.”

Feyre tugged hard on her hair.

“You bitch!” Nesta snapped, baring her teeth “What was that for?”

“Tell me why you’re depressed, asshole!”

“I’m no such thi-”

“You look miserable! Is it that the Van Tieghems are coming?”, she asked incredulously, “We’ll bloody obliterate them!” At that Nesta had to roll her eyes. “Nasty witches.”, Feyre ended by grumbling under her breath.

It was the morning of the Winter Solstice, Feyre’s birthday. Normally, she would avoid a party thrown in her favor at any cost, ripping all decorations with her teeth , if needed be. But this year was different, for it was the first without their father. And that was definitely not the root of Nesta’s mood, as it was a breath of fresh air. But she had started hearing dangerous words whispered between people in Larsos and beyond, not long after their 40 days of mourning. And they had to put them to an end, or else they’d drag them into facing the consequences of their own actions, which was, as expected, not on Nesta’s priority list.

Past times are long since buried underneath the ash.

And that’s where they had to remain.

So the festivities in Feyre’s honor were necessary. A way for the world to enter their home and see for themselves that they were fine, and there certainly was nothing rotten about them, as much as the world’s hunger for poor gossip and drama seemed to lead to another conclusion.

Easy. Right?

“Nonsense. You know I want the Van Tieghems here. “, Nesta said.

And it was true, as one of the three most influential families in Larsos, the Tieghems had to be present today. Any people of high standing had to, as a way to assure them, and by so, the rest of the world, that the Archerons had not become a weaker link now due to their father’s death.

Or that they had any role in it.

“I just,” Nesta continued, watching as Feyre started to gather her hair in Nesta’s signature braided bun. “You know I’ve waited for the opportunity to level the waters for a while now, to get back to normal. So I actually can’t wait for this whole ordeal to begin so it can end already. But . . .”, she took a look at her dead plants, Feyre’s eyes following hers. “ I can’t help but feel that something is . . . wrong. I-”

Words caught in her throat. She couldn’t even begin to explain what she felt, what she had been dreaming about. Nor did she think she wanted to, as if saying it outloud would engrave them into fate.

Feyre sensed her hesitancy. “Perhaps it’s just stress.”, she said, doing the last retouches n her hair. “We’ve been cooking this up for months now, and now that the day when we finally put it out in execution has arrived, I think it’s normal to feel anxious.”

Nesta let her eyes wander to those plants again.

“But,”, Feyre added, a little more quiet than before “It’s a good plan, and it’s a good story. Every detail of it is in check. And even if it wasn’t. A good story, I mean. We’ve got this. We’re Archerons, we get through. “

“And besides”, she said, now looking straight in the mirror, as if trying to convince her reflection as well. “Everyone is concerned about the Red Murders. It will be easy to step out of the light and focus their attention to discussing that matter instead.”

Nesta took a few seconds to let her sister’s words sink in, and attempted to nod, though it looked as if she was fighting a grimace instead. Eager to let the whole conversation slip away, and to lighten the mood, she opened the drawer on her right, and pulled out a square silver box. Already feeling Feyre’s surprise and giddy excitement, Nesta turned in her chair and placed the box in her hands.

“Happy birthday, Feyre.” , she said softly.

Feyre’s eyes were hilariously wide, but Nesta couldn’t judge her. It was strange, very much so. They didn’t use to give each other gifts before, but something has shifted in the last year, and they swore to start new. So she was starting new, even if gift-giving, or receiving has never been an enjoyable activity for Nesta.

“Well open it up already, we don’t have all day!” Nesta said , straightening her back.

At that Feyre snorted and lifted up the box’s lid. Her brows furrowed a little as she lifted the circular piece of silver.

“I know you’re not a big fan of jewelry,” Nesta went on,” but you’re expected to be.”

Feyre rolled her eyes, even if a smile threatened to appear on her face.

“And I figured, that if you were to wear ornaments, you might as well wear some that bear utility. Something that screams . . .”, she gestured with her hand, “Feyre.”

At her sister’s confused face, Nesta took the arm bracelet in her hands and showed her its most intriguing part. The bracelet would look as if a snake was wrapped around her arm, but if she were to pull the snake’s head, that’s when she would discover the true present. Nesta did just that, and Feyre’s eyes widened ever further as she saw the flexible blade that came out of the bracelet. It was not an overly intimidating weapon, a slender, short rapier. But it had the potential of being deadly, if used cleverly. And in Feyre’s hands, Nesta had no doubt it would be put to good use.

“Well?”, Nesta asked as she saw Feyre was not going to say anything anytime soon.

Her sister closed her hanging mouth, then and managed to say. “Well . . . that definitely screams Feyre.” And then a grin split her face, and she threw herself into her sister’s arms.

“IT’S AMAZING!”, Feyre squealed, and Nesta was fighting some mixed feelings of being happy because of her sister’s excitement and being slightly annoyed by it.

“How did you even find it?”

Nesta just gave her a smirk and walked towards her full length mirror, making sure her dark blue velvet dress was all in perfect condition. She watched the reflection, eyes on the background, where she could see Feyre trying to get her puffed sleeve out of the way so that she could try the bracelet on. She also took the blade and sliced her finger a little to see how sharp it was.

It was very sharp. Nesta would know best.

“Thank you, Nesta. Truly.”

“No problem.” She turned back to her and her lips curled in distaste, making a beeline for her closet. “Let’s find you another dress.”

The relief on Feyre’s face was almost comical.

__________________________

Elain Archeron was going to find her sisters and turn them into fertilizer for her new camellias that she had gotten her hands on thanks to a very sweet lady she encountered in the market.

She had been awake for 5 hours now, making sure everything was going according to plan in terms of decor, and she still had yet to see any sign of her sisters presence in the house. Servants were all around the place, making now some final touches to the ballroom.Well, at least the ones they still had were. They truly needed to find some new helpers.

Despite being still morning, they were expecting some guests quite soon. Being the first time Feyre had agreed on having a celebration done for her, albeit due to completely other reasons than her birthday, they were anticipating the arrival of a generous amount of people. Everyone wanted to finally take a look at the youngest Archeron sister, who had kept herself out of the public eye until now.

That, or they wanted to get their noses where they didn’t belong and see if they actually could be accused of murder.

Shaking off the thought, Elain focused on the flower arrangements she had assembled at the entry, while also concentrating on keeping her balance on the ladder she was perched on . She found some difficulty keeping her mind from wandering these days. Something felt off, apart from Prythian’s current situation. She wondered how wise it was to throw a grand party while the country bled at the hands of a serial killer. Even if she was painfully aware of the impossibility of anything of sorts happening in Larsos . . . especially on Archeron ground. Yet . . .

“Oh, Alis!”, she said as the woman walked by her, carrying what looked like one of Feyre’s dirty dresses. Oops.

“Have you seen or heard of my sisters?”

“Oh, yes, dear. Lady Feyre went into lady Nesta’s room a few minutes ago. Shall I go and tell them you are looking for them?”

“Oh, no, no, no.” Elain said quickly. “They’ll come when they’re ready. Thank you.” And on a second thought. “Also, you don’t have to wash those, Alis. Take them to my room please, I’ll take care of them.”

“Are you sure, lady Elain?” , she asked, looking down at the poor state of the dress.

“Very much so, please.”

“Very well, then. Say if you need help with anything else. The flower arrangement is coming along nicely.” And with that she left, making a few people in her way scrunch their noses.

Elain smiled to herself and shook her head. Looking outside the window to her right, she let herself get lost for a moment in the way snow has covered the land, except for a small patch next to the gates. Furrowing her brows, she decided on not reminding herself of the reason behind that peculiar aspect.

Bony hands settled on her waist and she almost fell off the damn ladder .Harshly turning her head, she glared at her older sister, who currently presented a barely-there smug smile on that icy face of hers.

“Nesta”, she hissed. “Not. Funny.”

That only managed to get a widening of her smile, teeth showing. Elain pressed the back of her hand to her burning cheeks and carefully stepped down, making sure her pale pink dress was not in her way. She didn’t fancy falling on her ass.

Not that it had happened before . . .

“Where is Feyre?”, she asked once her feet when on solid ground.

“Getting changed.” Nesta simply responded, giving a pointed look in her direction.

Elain hummed innocently , and stepped back to admire her work. It looked pretty damn good, if she said so herself.

“Do you need any help?”

“I could use some. There’s not much more to do, just help me get the rest of this materials and tools back to their place.”

Nesta hummed and gathered as much as possible in her arms.

“Did you give her her present already?” Elain asked as they were walking down the halls, smiling tightly at some of the servants passing by.

“Yes, she found it to her liking.”

“Of course she did.”, Elain chuckled. After a moment of silence, she ventured on, voice dropping : “Is everything else in place?”

“Yes. . .”, Nesta responded, eyeing the painting on the walls. “I checked everything three times last night before going to bed.”

“And was last night . . . “

“Yes.” , she gritted out .Then a sigh. “I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve yet to think of how to even break it to Feyre.”, by the end of the sentence her voice was a mere whisper.

Elain sighed, and opened the storage room’s ajar door with her hip. “Hopefully we’ll also find what we need today, and there will be no breaking to do.”

They put down their things and took a little time to sort out their thoughts.

“I never got to ask you what you got for her birthday.” Nesta said after a while, the shadows of their previous conversation still dancing along her sharp cheekbones.

Elain merely looked at her sister and grinned.

Oh it was going to be something indeed.

________________________

Feyre looked at herself in the mirror and nodded approvingly.

With some luck, she was able to find a short sleeved dress in Nesta’s closet, her new arm bracelet on full display. She touched it thoughtfully, if not slightly worried, wondering if the new route their life has taken would require her to eventually use such a thing.

Sighing, she took her old, comfortable boots and put them on. Very Nesta-disapproved, but the grey material of her skirt was covering them.

Making her way down towards the central room, she was stopped every few meters by people in the estate wishing her a happy birthday. She answered them all with a smile, one which was surprisingly genuine. Both her sisters have mentioned in the past week that something felt off, and yet, Feyre couldn’t shake that feeling of rightness. As if something great was about to happen, despite the fact that she was about to spend her birthday in her least favorite way ; surrounded by an unnecessary amount of people.

Finally arriving downstairs, she couldn’t help the slight grimace on her face. This really wasn’t her thing.

It was beautiful, and she could see the effort that has been put into it, but dear Lord did she dread the thought of being shown around to dozens of people by the end of the day.

It’s necessary, she reminded herself.

No sooner had she finished her assessment of the place, than a soft knock sounded at the front door. One of their helpers was about to put down the box he was carrying , but she stopped him with an I’ll get it.

She thought of yesterday’s conversation with her sisters, when they made bets as to who would show up first. Even if Feyre bet for the Dujardins, she secretly hoped it would be Lady Florence Bruna. She loved the old woman.

Relaxing her face into a pleasant look, she opened the door.

And nothing could’ve prepared her for who was standing in front of her.

A face that was certainly not the wrinkly one of Miss Florence smirked down at her, and Feyre felt all the air leave her lungs.

“Ah, if I’m not mistaken, you must be the infamous Feyre Archeron”, Rhysand Sayyadi said, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips. “May I just say, I wish you the happiest of birthdays, darling.”

Well, fuck.

_____

tags : @meowsekai

#acotar #mywriting #a court of thorns and roses #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #elain archeron #sjm #rhysand #cassian #azriel #lucien vanserra #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #nessian #feysand

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