#sorry my anger got the better of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has been providing a Korean-language service since 2013.

#sorry my anger got the better of me

tls123 · 6 days

Note

Oh my god HOW DID YOU LIKE SVSSS!!!!!

i liked it more than i thought i would but overall less than i might have given the potential of the story, i think in general i really enjoyed the characters (mxtx never goes wrong with characters, she creates them in a way that makes me feel unhinged) and the world building but the pay off to the set up—which i really liked!—felt a bit........ i mean, just alright.

the dynamics too are pure mxtx, personally the bin/gqiu dynamic specifically really was the least interesting part of the whole story. to me!! but individually i loved both characters. my interest was just elsewhere because """elsewhere""" felt way more fascinating idk how to explain it

was very, very happy about the extra with airplane and the yue qingyuan / shen jiu one because that's exactly what i wanted more of in the story itself as well as just more shen yuan/qingqiu interacting with cang qiong mountain

maybe it's my orv brain but like i told jana a while back i think i would have enjoyed svsss way more if it was more about shen yuan (loner; hater; etc) suddenly finding himself among all of these people (disciples looking up to him; sect siblings relying on him one way or another; common folk admiring him; etc etc) and starting to.... live? again?

Shen Qingqiu hadn't noticed that, unconsciously, he no longer considered the disciples around him (...) to be mob characters the novel had described in a scant number of words.

^from volume one, he starts seeing them almost immediately because he's not actually that separate and he genuinely cares. all the time. about everything. even before that we get:

This was only a book, and all the people were constructs, imaginary characters. Logically, Shen Qingqiu was very clear on this fact...but when a character was actually being taunted and bullied right before his eyes, it was just flat-out unrealistic to expect him to be completely unmoved.

like why are you lying, shen yuan (<- svsss tagline if there ever was one)

just the idea of this really lonely detached guy finding a community, i know it's not the story mxtx was trying to tell but again, with the set up i really wanted to see it go in that direction.

there's one line from vol two where liu qingge goes "you fear becoming a burden to cang qiong mountain (...) but cang qiong mountain fears not your burden"

and basically what i'm saying is that i wish the story had been about THAT

(and also ning yingying's lines in that same chapter about shizun always taking on everything himself and why is it always you like that whole moment with the cang qiong mountain almost begging him to see that they care. idek what i'm saying but you know)

(also foaming at the mouth that we only got tiny tiny glimpses of shen yuan's life from before, those handful of times he mentioned his siblings i wanted to take a bite out of my kindle. tell me more!! dear fucking lord tell me more!! keep talking! elaborate!! he really felt very "kim dokja and his fourth wall" at times, sorry once more about the orv brain)

tldr: i guess i wanted a story about shen yuan/qingqiu but mxtx created svsss to be a story about bin/gqiu. and i just have to be okay with that.

#does this make any sense? no. am i still hitting ''post''? yes. sorry kay #fra.txt #fra.xml #pathos-logical #overall i quite enjoyed obsessive lu.o bin.ghe. so intense and possessive about the one person who showed him a little kindness #(so what if he also showed him a lot of pain too here and there?)#but like i said the bin.gqiu dynamic just didn't pull me in. of course to each their own #(''one person'' but poor yingying was trying to help him since day one.)#but also..... to me it felt like his arc was the least satisfying. he just.... is. whereas most everyone else seems to evolve more tangibly #right now i can't help but think of tianlang-jun. ''i can't bring myself to hate humans''#not to mention all the women from his harem becoming characters in their own right #i wish i could explain myself better but i don't have the words. sorry!#l.uo bin.ghe you ARE interesting i just feel like your story could have been more #as an apology here's my favorite line of yours: ''I don't want you to repay me. I just couldn't get over my anger''#see?? i pay attention to you too baby boy #i should re-read all of ^^^ that but i won't </3 #edit: one thing i forgot to mention is that i did like the small snippet we got of bin/g-ge reacting to shen yu.an/qin.gqiu #like now that's something that immediately caught my eye it already made for such a more fascinating dynamic.#also i've seen a few things about shen yua.n (not trasmigrated) getting to meet bin.ghe/bin.g-ge and again that i would take a peak at #fully black lotus bin/g-ge coming face to face with shen ''i'm a hater but also can't help but be kind all the time'' yu.an truly pickles #my tickle. i'm sat. i'm listening. i'm compelled.

7 notes · View notes

tj-crochets · 2 years

Note

I ask this genuinely: how do you manage to create so much? I really admire how much you make things, and enjoy your hobbies so much. I'm trying to figure out how to feel motivated to do projects again

This got extremely ramble-y, so it's below a read more

A lot of it is honestly luck? I have a stay-at-home job that has a fair amount of down time* where I have to be sitting at my computer in case someone emails me/messages me/calls me but can make things while waiting for emails, and it pays enough I can afford to live and buy craft supplies. I've also had a bunch of people, including relatives, neighbors, friends' relatives, and strangers destash and give me a lot of craft supplies for free. Part of it is that I get...idk how to word it. Antsy and listless when I haven't made things in a while? Making things is enrichment for me, and I know that, so I make a point to not go more than a few days without making something. Sometimes I don't want to make things, but I know I'll feel better if I finish a project**, so I'll crochet a little monster or make a tiny witch hat or something, and usually once I start making something I feel better and want to keep making things. Part of it is that I let myself make things on a whim. I've accumulated enough colors of minky, yarn, and embroidery floss*** that I can pretty much make any small thing I think of immediately after I think of it. This isn't universally applicable advice; I have the storage space to (mostly) store it neatly, and I know myself well enough to know I will absolutely lose enthusiasm for a project if I have to wait too long to start it. If I'm making a quilt but have a strong urge to make a tiny monster, I will take a break from the quilt to make a monster (I sometimes struggle with finishing big projects because of this, but it's a work in progress, and I always finish the project eventually). I also love craft supplies as decor. I let myself switch between hobbies as I have the urge to, and trust that I will eventually go back to previous hobbies. I used to guilt myself about changing hobbies, but now I embrace it. Learning new things is good for me! I just spent like three months quilting, like two weeks making doll clothes and a doll to fit them, and now two and a half days embroidering. I'm thinking about making a teddy bear sized tricorn hat. A few weeks ago I made a chain mail/scale mail bracelet, and before then I think it had been like five years since I made anything with chain mail. Sometimes I do get caught up in guilt about crafts. Like, guilt that I promised to make someone something and haven't yet, or that I spent money on supplies but haven't used them, or that someone bought me supplies and I haven't used them. It can absolutely drain all my crafting motivation. When that happens, I try to take a step back, and find what is stopping me/causing me guilt. Is a gift late? That's okay, my friends and family understand crafting takes time and won't be upset. Did I spend money on supplies and not use them yet? That's okay, picking them out brought me joy and inspiration and I will use them in the future. Someone bought me supplies and I haven't used them? How awesome that they thought of me! Someday I'll make something cool with that stuff, and it's great to have another metaphorical crayon in my crayon box to open up more possibilities of things to make. Sometimes I also get hung up on patterns, where part of it is just utterly unenjoyable to me and I can't bring myself to start making the thing. When that happens, I try to figure out what bugs me about it. Is it too complex a pattern? Okay, I'll pick a simpler one. Do I hate hand sewing applique? Okay, I'll look up machine applique, or use a different fabric that doesn't need applique, or pick a different pattern. I think I might've gotten a little off topic? Part of it is also that I struggle to focus on watching shows or even sometimes reading if I am not also making something.

*I mean, it varies day to day, but a lot more downtime than my first job

**there's some neurochemical thing about finishing a project, especially when the finished project creates a tangible object? ***I used to make friendship bracelets

#ask away!#the person behind the yarn #sorry nonny this got really long lol #I also have unintentional automatic negative reinforcement built in #in that the weirdness of my adrenals and my allergies combined mean if I get angry or stressed enough #I will literally have an allergic reaction to my own stress/anger #(it's like adrenals dump stuff in the blood stream triggering mast cells to dump stuff triggering allergic reaction)#but it does mean it's WAAAAY easier for me to notice when I am being unkind to myself than it used to be #and if I overwork myself I tend to have a POTS flareup and my blood pressure drops dramatically #between them my self-care is a looooot better than it used to be #which helps!#making stuff for people also helps #I love making things for my friends and their kids and the kid I used to babysit #my friend's son absolutely loves dinosaurs #and I never struggle with motivation making him dinosaurs because I know it will make him happy #so...love? love is a motivation for crafting? but also so is boredom and the inability to sit still and the lure of cute fabric #and problem solving. sometimes I make stuff just to figure out how I can.

10 notes · View notes

hxltic · 10 months

Text

bein yelled at by ghost. you’ve been in the army this long, been yelled at by sergeants and others alike, majority men—obviously—but none of them like this. The others you didn’t even flinch as they screamed directly into your ears, probably even worse than other men just to intimidate you as a woman.

You caught him in a bad mood and it seemed completely unrelated to work, but as his partner and soldier, he had to tell you things that you didn’t want to hear.

“Hey, I got your message Simon, didn’t mean for that to happen. Won’t let it happen again.” You place some things of yours down on the dresser as you enter his quarters. He’s standing there in thought, unreadable.

His mask is still on with his gear connected to his body.

“Damn right, you won’t.” He gruffs, heavy in his accent.

All you could do was question what this meant. Would he not let you do it again? Were you being thrown in a different squad?

“What does that mean?” You stop your moving for a direct answer. You almost took that personally.

He explains, “You made an impulsive decision that would have led to half our unit being taken out. The amount we sent to that building was more than usual.”

“I understand, and that was on me. In my defense though: it was a suggestion in the moment, one that the other members also formally agreed to. It wasn’t just me.” You giggle, even though you’re aware these aren’t giggling matters. You just needed to lighten the mood.

“There were 35 men in that building alone. Led by Gaz and König!”

He fully pronounced the words, turning to you aggressively. Had you known this was the severity of his mood, you never would’ve taunted him in any type of way. This was when he had to be your boss.

“I understand but-“

“It doesn’t matter who agreed! You are seen as a leader standing next to me and you introduced the idea. I cannot be there to stop you every time you do something stupid.” His eyes were laced with anger, an anger that arose out of the protection built for his squad over the years.

“Every time?”

He said that like you did something stupid every day. He’s had bad missions before too, and we should all just be happy everyone made it back safe. Well, maybe one or two. He quickly turns to you, but stays in his spot.

“Every bloody time. It’s the mission before that. Then that. You cannot keep jeopardizing this team.”

Despite the offense you took to his words, you understood him.

“I understand.” You speak. For the night, you split off into your own quarters, not wanting to anger him any more than you already have. You’ll just have to be better with your decisions. There’s more than just your life on the line now.

The next few days, you’ve been kind of stand off-ish, hoping he’d come to you when he was feeling so. Instead, you were all assigned a mission, one they’d put you in charge of. Naturally, you’d felt it best to prove yourself and win his attention back. He was still Simon, and you still loved him.

. .

You all returned back to base with a more than successful mission under your belt. This made you extremely happy, as it’s finally a good time to speak to him.

You approach his door, then knock. You never knock.

A deep, “Come in,” is all you get.

You walk in to him sitting at his desk, his back to the door.

“Hey,” is all you can muster. You’d had the balls to walk in, but Simon is still a scary man. Your hands come down from his shoulders to massage over his biceps.

“I’m sorry for the past few days. I hope I redeemed myself?” You try.

“Hm,” He grunts, standing from his desk and filing papers into the drawers. This made you a little wary.

“Are you feeling okay Simon?” You fiddle your fingers together as you watch him walk around to the other side of the table.

“Fuckin’ fabulous.”

Your hands drop. You’d expected something, or some type of praise. Instead, you got this.

“What’s wrong? I thought I did good this time?”

“Is there something you want?” He shoots back. You glance at him, then around the room, then the floor. “No? Alright then.” He continues on as if you aren’t there. You stand in disbelief.

“What has got you so upset Simon? You can talk to me.”

“Did ya come in my room with nothin to say? What are you here for?” he snaps back.

This was a knife in the heart. You’d been terrified of the business portion of your relationship engulfing the rest, but you didn’t want to believe it. Maybe that wasn’t the case. Maybe it wasn’t you.

“Literally what is your problem?” You wanted to yell, but you couldn’t. It wasn’t in your nature. It didn’t feel right yelling at him.

You attempt to walk to his front, hoping that seeing your face would bring him some sense of calmness or bring him back down to Earth, but that was long gone. He’d lost all professionalism or softness.

Or maybe that was just it, and there was too much professionalism.

You reach him and plead, “Simon please, let me help y-“

“Fuckin’ hell, I don’t need your goddamn help!”

His head whips around, and that was all it took for you to realize the severity of everything going on. You’d physically retracted back and flinched. It’d been a long time since you’d done that.

“What do you want?” He throws the pen he’d held to the wall, and if you could see, you’d say there was a visible dent. That was your second step back, and you only took more as he came forward powerfully, his frame enlarging with each step.

“I-“

“Do you want me to praise you for your fuckin’ job? Now that you’ve decided to take it seriously?” He growls.

This was completely untrue, it wasn’t easy getting into 141, and it didn’t take anything but seriousness. Despite this, it didn’t take away from how his voice seemed to reverberate through your bones. You were retreating from him the best you could, but you didn’t want to look away, afraid it’d make him angrier.

Your hands felt around behind you as you got closer and closer to the wall, but not before detecting a small table that almost had you stumbling backwards when you knocked it over. Along with some more pens, a vase fell, shattering about and leaving tiny shards for your feet to step on the one day you decided not to wear the house slippers Gaz always made fun of you for.

He could literally take your breath away, but the piercing sensation under you couldn’t compare to the expression he wore that was dripping with malice. You felt like prey under a predator, caged to the wall with nowhere to go.

Your back hit with a thump, your hands flying back to the wall but close to your figure. You’d wanted to put them between you two, hoping it’d prevent him from coming closer, but it wouldn’t work. So now you search for separation by forcing your cheek against the wall, eyes frantically darting back and forth between nothing in particular and the raging man towering over you. You don’t think you could look at him anymore.

You whisper, “S-Simon. Please-”

He was so close his breath was to your ear as he leaned over. You were scared. In fact, you’d spoke it so lightly, you don’t even remember if you did or if it was just a thought.

“This,” he was referring to today, “is absolute bare minimum. Your job is to take orders, then get it done with the least. Casualties. Possible. Do you understand me?” He enunciates every part of the sentence, every word, so deep and low but strong that you had no choice but for it to be engraved in your brain. He was infuriated.

You didn’t want to breath too hard, afraid it’d also upset him, so your shortness of breath had you quickly nodding. The last words had you trembling.

“Do you fuckin’ understand me?” His words seem to shake the room, booming loud and clear enough to make you flinch again and your eyes squeeze shut. It was even worse than before—you were terrified.

He made you feel like a little girl again, answering to her father that she could never seem to impress no matter what she did. That’s why she joined the army. So she could be in charge.

But it didn’t stop because your eyes had to blink open to reality, and the time bomb called a response was ticking, just like his already gone patience. It also didn’t stop things from getting blurry, and before you knew or could stop it, there was a tear gathering that eventually released to your cheek.

“Y-yes sir,” you whimper on unsteady breath, Closing your eyes in prayer he would retreat. He was there for a little longer, but once you felt his presence leave back into the heart of his room, you still didn’t move an inch. You eventually shuffled uncomfortably to the door, not even feeling okay enough to close it behind you. You dashed as fast as one could go with millions of tiny glass in their feet, and before tending to it, you shut your door and fell to your butt with your back pressed against it and cried.

It’d been so long since you’ve cried over this specific issue; you thought you’d left it behind you. You technically had, but it was reawakened. The mission fatigued you, and you were so exhausted, but the only reason you didn’t lay your head down in the bed and fall asleep was the glass that would distribute painfully throughout your sheets.

You wrapped your feet and slipped into the night with the occasional sob.

. .

Sometime in the night, your locked room was intruded, assumingely by the one man graced with a key. Large hands scooped you up effortlessly, before bringing your head to one shoulder. You felt warm lips seep into your forehead.

He whispered things to you, things you couldn’t hear, but your head was held protectively with his strong hand over your ear. You’d been rested in another bed, one that smelled like him. He removed the tape from your feet and actually cleaned your wounds before tucking you in and sliding in beside you.

He felt like he didn’t deserve it, the guilt enough to bring him to tears, but he also felt like he didn’t deserve to cry. So instead, he tucks your head into his body closer, praying the sleeping version of you would recognize this as an apology until the morning.

©️ hxltic pt.2!

12K notes · View notes

tteokdoroki · 7 months

Text

☆༉ — RYOMEN SUKUNA. a better man.

about. you’re a girl that’s way out of his league and he’s the bad boy you couldn’t help but fall for. what happens when ryomen sukuna fails to meet you in the middle?

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! sfw, fluff, suggestive towards the end, no curses!au, modern!au, it’s implied that sukuna is in a gang, mentions of fights, reader is a rich girl, they’re kinda in love :( bad boy!sukuna, fem!reader.

“you’re mad at me. aren’cha?”

sukuna mutters with an air of faux nonchalance as he lazily jogs up the final marble steps that lead up to the restaurant he was supposed to meet you at nearly two hours ago. the evening traffic zips by, red and white headlights parting through the rain to illuminate your boyfriend’s features. heavy water droplets take residence on the slope of his nose and Cupid’s bow, some even daring to cling on to the tips of dusty rose-coloured hair.

if you weren’t so angry right now, you might take a moment to appreciate how good sukuna looks in the moment — especially with the way the rain makes the designer tux you’d gotten for him cling to his skin. exposing every ridge and dip and curve in his muscle while his inky black tattoos become all the more visible.

“of course i’m mad.” you step aside to let sukuna under the shelter of the entrance, avoiding him as he swoops down for his usual hug and kiss. “tonight is important. it was important.”

“babe c’mon on, i was—“

“you were late. they’re serving dessert in there, ryomen.” your tone is coloured with shades of annoyance and a hint of warning. like a mother about to lecture her child. you’re pissed. it’s written all over your face too — in the way that your brows crease and you pout so adorably. he’ll try to play it off, like he doesn’t care, but it almost makes sukuna sick to his stomach to know that you’re angry with him.

the rain picks up outside of the restaurant and you continue. “all you had to do was show up on time. come to this stupid fancy restaurant and be there to meet my parents. but of course, you got yourself caught up in—“ you grab his dress shirt in frustration, noticing the blood on the collar that doesn’t belong to him. his split knuckles and the bruise on his lips. “— in whatever this is.” you roll your eyes, blood boiling.

“it’s nothin’ for you to worry your pretty little head about,” sukuna scoffs, lips spreading wide in his signature smirk. the excuse is lame, but he doesn’t want you to worry for him any longer. “since when did you care about what your parents think, anyways?” but you see it in his eyes, that same old worry. that he’s not good enough for you, that a scumbag like him doesn’t deserve a pretty girl like you. he’s always told you to find someone better, someone able to feed into the glitz and glamour that you were brought up in.

but you’ve always told ryomen sukuna that you have everything you need right there with him.

cupping his face, the heat of anger dispels from your body and you exhale deeply though your nose. “i don’t care about what my parents think. if i did, i wouldn’t be dating you.” you cast a thumb over the thick lines of ink decorating his face, accenting sukuna’s high cheekbones and chiselled features while the rest of your fingers sink into his smooth, dark undercut. “but that doesn’t mean i don’t want you to meet them. they’re just as special to me as you are. i want the most important people in my life to know each other.”

your boyfriend’s hands settle on your wrists as he grunts noncommittally, indicating that he’s aware of his wrong doings. if there’s one thing that sukuna hates, it’s upsetting you. he doesn’t care what the world thinks of him, it’s never mattered before. yet, even the slightest look of disappointment from you has the man in shambles. “‘m sorry,” he drawls, his grip on you shifting down to cup your waist — pulling you flush against him. “what can a guy like me do to make it up to you?”

“you can go on in there and charm the hell out of my rich, uptight parents so that we can hurry up and go home,” your voice lowers an octave as you stand on your tip toes for the extra height so that you can nip at the shell of sukuna’s ear. “where you can rip this dress off’a me.”

“such a dirty mouth for such’a prim ‘n proper girl, hm? i should wash it out with soap.” he purrs right back, leaning down to kiss at your neck until you’ve had enough of his frayed pink hair tickling your skin. he damn near melts when your fingers inch up to tug at his roots — earning a deep and thrilling growl from the man. “that was a dirty move. who taught you that?”

“my good for nothing boyfriend, he’s kind of a bad influence.” you tease back, despite having to physically push sukuna away in order to avoid setting off his inner beast before dinner with your parents is done — and instead, take to grabbing his larger hand in yours so you can lead him from the front of house to your family’s reserved table.

and like always, sukuna trails after you like a lost puppy enamoured with the person that found them, have them love and warmth. because, while you didn’t change him, you made him want to be better — to give up the knives in his back and the bullets looking over his head for something better. something softer.

something like you.

ryomen sukuna wanted to become the someone he thought you deserved.

that’s why he put on this stupid suit and tie, why he let you take his hand, why he follows you to the the table that’s sure to seal his fate with you.

behind all that rough exterior, is a man who loves you.

and in front of sukuna, is a girl who loves him and all of his flaws right back.

#sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #don’t look at me lawl #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen x you #✧ ₊˚੭ — writing #tteokdoroki #angelshubnetwork

4K notes · View notes

propertyofwicked · 3 months

Text

"it'll grow back" - LN

v short. just expressing my sadness for the loss of beard lando </3 it's been a rough day lads

tried a little bit of social media au stuff so lemme know if that works <3

“hey ba-”

“you are in so much trouble,” you announce as he picks up the phone, pacing around the airport waiting for your layover flight to join him in australia.

“wha-? why?” lando says, his voice wavering slightly in panic, trying to remember everything he’d done in the last 24 hours that could anger you.

“how could you? how could you shave before i got to say a proper goodbye?” you whine down the phone, exaggerating your sadness at the loss of his facial hair.

“im sorry ba-”

“no i dont wanna hear it. firstly - i had to find out through twitter! AND my flight lands in 5 hours - you couldn’t wait till then?”

“if i waited you would’ve talked me out of it!” he argues back in jest.

“precisely!” you argue, the phone line falling silent, asides from max laughing in the background, and lando clearly trying to stifle his own giggles.

“max you’re a traitor! you promised me you would stop him,” you say, knowing he can hear you. max says nothing in response, just continues to laugh until he’s wheezing.

the announcement of your flight boarding was probably well timed, alerting you that you need to leave before the argument get serious.

“get on your flight angel, ill be at the airport to pick you up when you land.”

“you better be, you owe me.”

when you finally spot him in the airport, your pace quickens to meet him and his embrace. he presses a kiss to the top of your head, his arms moving to rest on and behind your shoulders. your head rolls backwards slightly to look up at him, as sigh escaping your lips when you see the lack of facial hair in person.

“12 seconds!” max exclaims from behind him, holding up his phone timer, “it took you 12 seconds to make a remark about him shaving!”

“hey! i didn’t even say anything,” you argue back.

"debatable."

“it’s ok y/n - it’ll grow back,” lando says, grinning at you before looking down and kissing your lips. the lack of scruff touching your face is unfamiliar.

“but now it feels like i’m kissing a 13 year old boy.” max snorts at your response, lando just keeps smiling down at you.

“when did you last eat?” lando asks, moving the conversation along, as he grabs your suitcase and starts walking to the car, you and max stood either side of him.

“erm, on the first flight - so i don’t know but i am starving.”

“let’s go get you some dinner. i’ll pay, call it an apology.”

“lan, you’d insist on paying whether i was owed an apology or not,” you retort, moving to sit in the car.

“i’ll make it up to you tonight,” he says, smirking at you. you had almost forgotten max was there till he started making fake vomit noises at lando’s comment.

“i’d love to see you try.”

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando smut #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #formula 1 #mclaren f1 #mclaren #lando norris fluff #formula one smut #formula 1 smut #f1 smut #propertyofwicked #f1socialmediaau

2K notes · View notes

gojoluvs · 1 month

Text

Forever yours.

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Summary, The only reason why you even agreed to marry him was for your father. Now you wish you could go back in time and reject the offer.

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating, mean gojo, emotional trauma, manipulation, gaslighting.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader. Arranged marriage au! very ooc Gojo, Mean Gojo! CEO Gojo!

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime I update just send me a message also sorry for the spelling errors I didn’t catch :(

10k words

previous chapter ⤏ next chapter

You shivered in the cold, your back against your sleeping husband who was blissfully unaware of your discomfort. Your hair was a mess, your nightgown nowhere to be seen, and the small snores coming from your husband were the only sound in the room.

As you tried to get comfortable, you couldn't help but feel a little irritated with your husband. How could he sleep so peacefully while you were freezing?

Your eyes felt heavy as you sat up in bed, not bothering to cover yourself since your nightgown was missing. You grabbed the covers and wrapped them around your body, trying to warm up. Your gaze shifted to your husband, and you couldn't resist reaching out to touch his bare back. His muscles twitched at your cold fingers, and you couldn't help but smile.

"You're freezing," your husband mumbled, his eyes still closed.

"I'm fine," you replied, trying to sound casual.

But your husband knew you too well. He turned to face you, his soft white hair covering his face. "You're cold," he stated, placing a hand on your cheek to check your temperature.

"I'll be fine," you insisted, but your husband could see past your facade.

"Come here," he said, pulling you close and wrapping his warm arms around you. "Better?"

His soft skin against yours made you look away from his ice blue eyes. Staring right at your soul, you cupped his face and said, "Satoru." He stared at you, not saying a word, his eyebrows slightly raised.

"We need to talk," you continued, moving your hand back to his chest and tracing circles around it. Your heart was beating fast, and you knew you couldn't keep up the lie anymore. You were scared of his reaction, but you couldn't hide the truth any longer. You looked back at him, trying to soften your gaze.

"Do you remember how we've been trying to produce an heir to your business?" you asked, your skin feeling hot as your bare breasts were squished between his chest. His hand rested on your waist, and you could feel his warmth seeping through your skin.

Satoru's expression changed, his features hardening as he said, "Yes, I remember. What about it?"

He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours as you delivered the news. The temperature of the room suddenly felt much colder, and you couldn't help but shiver. Your heart was racing and you felt like breaking down and crying. The only reason you even got married was for your inheritance and the fact that you could give your husband an heir to his business, and now here you were, breaking the news to him that you might not be able to even carry his child.

You swallowed heavily, trying to keep your emotions in check. His piercing gaze never wavered, and you couldn't help but feel exposed under his intense scrutiny. His beautiful pinkish lips practically begged you to kiss them, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. Instead, you looked at his neck and his defined collarbones, trying to distract yourself from the situation.

"Well, my family has a long history of the women in our family struggling with fertility and sometimes experiencing multiple miscarriages," you finally managed to say, your voice trembling slightly. His gaze went from soft to confused, his eyebrows furrowed for just a second before he opened his mouth, closing it with no words to say.

Satoru's grip on your waist tightened, and you could see the anger in his eyes. "You lied to me?" he asked, his voice laced with disappointment and betrayal.

"I'm sorry," you repeated, feeling tears prick at your eyes. "I didn't want to lose you or disappoint you. I know how much your business means to you."

He looked at you confused, looking away from you he stared at the curtains before looking back at you. “So you’re saying you cant get pregnant?” he retreated his hand from your waist, sitting up at the bed you did the same. Turning to look at him you placed a hand on the blanket.

His face twisted into a sneer as he looked at you, his eyes blazing with anger. He pushed himself off the bed and yanked on his boxers, his back turned to you in disgust. "So this fucking marriage was pointless?" he spat, his voice dripping with venom. You flinched at his words, feeling a surge of hurt and anger rise within you.

You sat up on the bed, clutching the blanket to your chest as you looked at him. "Not necessarily," you tried to explain, but he cut you off with a harsh laugh. He turned to face you, his features contorted with rage. He bit his cheek, trying to control his temper as he grabbed his shirt from the floor and pulled it on.

"You tricked me," he accused, his voice low and dangerous. "You knew you couldn't have children and you still married me. What a waste of time and money."

"No, Satoru," you pleaded, tears welling up in your eyes as your husband once again cut you off. You could feel your heart breaking as he put on his sweatpants and turned to face you.

"You lied to me. The only reason we're even together is to have a fucking child and now you tell me this bullshit?" He scowled at you, his words like daggers piercing your heart. You couldn't believe the man you loved could say something so cruel.

Feeling numb, you grabbed the shirt he threw at you and quickly put it on. "Please, Satoru, listen to me," you begged, trying to explain yourself. But he was already grabbing another shirt and putting on his shoes. You felt a wave of nausea hit you and you stumbled, placing a hand on the nightstand to steady yourself. "I never said I'm infertile, I just said there's a chance I might be," you tried to reason with him, but he was already walking out the door.

As you quickly got dressed, you could feel the cool morning air on your skin as you slipped on your underwear. You grabbed a pair of leggings, not even bothering to check if they matched your top, and hastily put them on. In a rush, you grabbed your uggs and headed downstairs, trying to catch up with your husband who was already making his way down.

The sound of your footsteps echoed through the house as you descended the creaky wooden stairs. Finally reaching the bottom, you entered the bustling kitchen where your friends were gathered, talking and enjoying their breakfast.

You searched for your white haired husband and saw him sitting next to Suguru and Shoko who was carrying her baby. “Goodmorning!” Shoko said with a smile, gesturing for you to sit next to her. You smiled back and sat down, feeling a bit uncomfortable as your husband avoided making eye contact with you.

As you started to eat your breakfast, you couldn't help but feel a bit awkward. For a brief moment, you could feel your husband's gaze on you. Turning to look at him, you made eye contact for a brief moment. But there was no emotion in his eyes, just a hint of disappointment.

Shoko handed you a cup of orange juice and took a sip before sitting back next to Suguru. “So, you guys know the walls aren't soundproof, right?” She said with a teasing tone, looking at you and your husband. You looked at her confused, “What do you mean?”

Shoko laughed and grabbed her baby, placing him on her lap. “Oh, don't worry, we couldn't hear everything. But it was definitely loud enough to know something was going on.” She said, causing you to hide your face in your hands.

Embarrassed and flustered, you grabbed your cup and took a long drink of the orange juice, trying to distract yourself from the teasing.

"Oh," You said, feeling a bit flustered. "I didn't realize the walls were so thin." Your husband remained silent, his eyes avoiding yours. Shoko chuckled, "Don't worry, we're all adults here. Plus, it's not like we could hear everything." You nodded, grateful for her understanding.

Suguru smiled mischievously, "But we did hear some interesting noises." Your cheeks flushed even more as you took another sip of your juice. "Well, I hope we didn't disturb your sleep," you said, trying to change the subject.

Shoko shook her head, "Not at all. We were actually up with the baby anyway." She gestured to the little one playing on Suguru's lap. "He's been a bit fussy lately."

You smiled at the baby, "He's adorable." Your husband finally spoke up, "Yeah, he is." You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at his lack of enthusiasm.

Suguru caught your eye, "So, what's the plan for today?" You and your husband exchanged a look before you answered, "We were thinking of checking out the local market."

Shoko's face lit up, "Oh, I love that place! We should all go together." You and your husband nodded in agreement, relieved to have a distraction from the awkward tension.

“Sure, I needed to get some souvenirs for my mother and father-in-law either way,” Smiling you quickly finished your breakfast. Satoru wincing at the mention of his father. Sighing you quickly ran up the stairs, hurrying to change and look a bit decent after your dispute with Satoru.

Everything you thought would happen actually did - Satoru never truly loved you and never will. You were well aware that this marriage was not based on love, but rather on your inheritance and your ability to bear a child. The only reason your husband hasn't divorced you yet is because it is too early, and he is still waiting for your full inheritance to be transferred to his business account. He sees you as nothing more than a means to an end, a tool to secure his wealth and legacy

Brushing your teeth, you can't help but stare at your reflection, feeling broken and worthless. You know deep down that Satoru has always wished you were Jiyuu - his true lover who he could have married and started a family with. But instead, you were forced into this arranged marriage, never given a choice or a chance at true love.

Cupping your hands under the faucet and take a drink of water, you can't help but feel a sense of bitterness and resentment towards your husband. You are nothing more than a pawn in his game, and you can't help but wonder how long you will have to endure this loveless marriage before he discards you like a used toy.

You couldn't help but wonder what life would be like if you had a child with Satoru, if you could even have one. Your whole body ached, not from physical pain, but from the emotional toll it took on you. The constant stress and fear of Satoru's outbursts left you feeling drained and exhausted. Your heart ached, your head ached, and now your body ached. It was as if Satoru's abuse was constantly weighing down on you, physically and mentally.

Grabbing your coat and purse, you couldn't help but notice the lack of lavish gifts from Satoru. Sure, he would give you his card to buy things, but he never had the time to actually spend with you. Your relationship was more of a business transaction than a loving partnership.

You let out a loud sigh as you sat in the back of the Rolls Royce, Satoru sitting next to you with Shoko on his other side. In the front were Utahime and Suguru, the baby happily babbling in his mother's arms. His squishy red cheeks were more noticeable than ever, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy towards Shoko. She bounced the baby up and down in her lap, the little one only squealing with joy. It was a stark contrast to your own relationship with Satoru, and it made you wonder if you would ever have a child of your own in such a toxic environment.

Looking at satoru you tried grabbing his hand, for a quick moment he interlocked hands with you. But then he moved your hand and placed his on his lap.

Feeling rejected and unloved, you turned your attention to the scenery outside. The snowy landscape only added to the coldness you felt inside. Satoru's behavior had become increasingly distant and cold, making you feel like you were nothing more than an inconvenience to him.

Shoko's baby continued to make noises, feeling a pang of jealousy towards your friend. She had a loving husband who adored her and a beautiful baby, while you were stuck with an emotionally unavailable husband who seemed to only care about himself. You couldn't wait to get to the market and get away from Satoru's cold presence.

As the car pulled into the parking lot, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief and freedom from Satoru's grasp. Finally, you thought, a moment away from his constant criticism and controlling behavior. Shoko was the first one out, quickly grabbing her baby and putting his coat on. You hesitated, taking a deep breath before getting out of the car. As you straightened your coat and grabbed your purse, Satoru went the way Shoko went instead of towards your destination. An all too familiar feeling of disappointment and frustration washed over you.

Summoning up all your courage, you walked towards him, standing next to him as he watched Shoko with a small smile on his face. "Satoru," you said, placing your hand on his bicep and giving it a small squeeze.

He turned to look at you, his beautiful blue eyes clouded with disappointment and disapproval. "Not now Y/N," he scoffed, shoving your hand off his arm and walking into the market without a second glance.

You couldn't help but feel hurt by his rejection and the harshness in his tone. It seemed like every day was a battle with Satoru, constantly trying to please him and meet his impossible standards.

As you walked into the market, your boots clicking on the hard floor, you couldn't help but wonder how you had ended up with a husband who was such an asshole. But deep down, you knew it was because of your own insecurities and fear of being alone. And as you continued to follow Satoru, trying to keep up with his quick pace, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hopelessness and resentment towards the man.

"Y/N!" Shoko's smile was infectious as she approached you, carrying a basket in one hand and her adorable four-month-old child in the other. Shoko had always been like an angel to you, and you couldn't help but smile in return as you made your way towards her.

“Oh my, here let me take him from you.”Without hesitation, you reached out to take the baby from her, feeling the warmth and weight of the little bundle in your arms. Satoru stood nearby, his eyes following you as you moved around with the baby, while Suguru stood next to him, discussing his latest successful business deal.

The baby squirmed slightly in your arms, his fluffy black hair a bit of a mess. But you couldn't resist running your fingers through it, feeling the softness against your skin. "You're such a cutie," you cooed, scrunching your nose and making funny faces at the baby. His giggles filled the air, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and contentment in that moment.

Your husband glared at you, watching intently as you played with his friends' child. The way your eyes lit up when he laughed and how you made cute faces at the child. For a split second, Satoru felt a warmth in his stomach, a warmth that crawled all the way up to his heart. He quickly pushed it away, reminding himself that this was not his child, nor was it his wife's.

He resented you for being forced into this marriage, and he saw you as nothing more than a duty to fulfill. But as he watched you with the child, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. You seemed so natural and happy with the baby, something he never saw from you when you were alone.

Tucking a hair strand behind your ear, you grabbed the baby and bounced him as you walked, grabbing the things Shoko needed for the outside barbecue you were going to have later. Satoru's heart clenched as he watched you with the baby, noticing the way you instinctively knew how to care for him. He couldn't help but wonder if you would have been a better mother to his children than he could ever be a father.

As he stood there, watching you and the baby, Satoru felt a sense of longing for a life that could have been. A life where he married for love and had children with a woman he adored. But instead, he was stuck in this arranged marriage, resenting his wife and feeling nothing but bitterness towards you.

But in that moment, as he watched you with the child, he couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for you to have a real marriage, filled with love and children. Maybe, just maybe, he could learn to love you as he watched you become a mother.

"Toru, come and help your wife," Shoko said sternly, her gaze fixed on Satoru who stood there motionless, staring at you. You looked up from the baby in your arms, meeting his eyes that were filled with regret. For a brief moment, his gaze softened before he put up his usual facade.

He walked towards you and grabbed a pack of green beans and corn, tossing them into the small basket Shoko carried. As you all walked around the market, the baby fell asleep in your warm embrace. His tiny breaths were audible over the bustling noises of people talking and vendors selling their goods. For a moment, Shoko disappeared from your line of sight, leaving you and your husband alone.

Satoru's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he placed a hand on the baby's cheek, gently squeezing it. The softness in his touch and the fondness in his eyes showed a side of him that you rarely saw, making your heart skip a beat.

“Hes cute isn’t he?” You asked staring at your white haired husband. His hair covered his face slightly and his veiny hand combed his soft hair. “yeah he is.”

Smiling at him you were about to say something opening your mouth before arubtly closing it. Walking around for a little while you grabbed everything Shoko told you to grab. The baby fast asleep in your arms earning a few glanced and aws from the strangers in the market.

You stood at the meat aisle, waiting for your number to be called. Tapping your foot impatiently, you bounced the baby side to side. You weren't really fond of babies, but this one just had a special place in your heart. He was the son of your husband's sister, whom you were babysitting for the day.

As you fixed the baby's coat that was slipping from him, you smiled once again. The baby's presence always seemed to brighten your mood, especially in the midst of your tumultuous marriage. Your husband, Satoru, stood next to you, placing a hand on your waist and pulling you closer. It was a small gesture, but it made you feel slightly better about your situation.

Suddenly, a random lady appeared beside you, smiling at the baby and complimenting his looks. "Oh my god! What a cute baby you got there," she whispered slightly so as not to wake him up. Satoru's grip on your waist tightened, and you felt a small sense of protection from him.

"Well, he's not really mine," you said in a low whisper, feeling a pang of sadness as you remembered that you and Satoru were struggling to have a child of your own. The lady probably didn't hear you because she ended up speaking about how beautiful the baby looked and how he resembled Satoru.

As she continued to gush over the baby, you couldn't help but feel a slight shift in Satoru's attitude towards you. He had always been cold and distant, but as he listened to the lady's compliments and advice, you could see a hint of softness in his eyes. Perhaps, for a brief moment, he saw you in a different light.

Before the lady left with her meat, she turned to you once again and smiled. "You know the trick to get them to sleep is giving them a warm bath before, they really knock out." She then took out her ticket and grabbed her meat before leaving.

You looked up at Satoru, and for the first time in a long time, you saw a glimmer of warmth in his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, this baby was bringing you and Satoru closer together. And for that, you were grateful.

"Here, let me carry him," your husband offered, his voice gentle and understanding.

"I can handle it," you insisted, trying to ignore the way your hands were trembling. But your husband didn't budge, and you knew he was right.

You couldn't help but soften your eyes at him as you slowly placed the baby in his arms. He cradled the baby with ease, making him look even more attractive than before. You felt a warmth spread through your body, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter in your stomach.

If it wasn't for the small amount of self respect you had for yourself, you would have jumped on your husband right then and there. But you couldn't deny the way his words from last night still lingered in your mind, making your cheeks feel hot. You remembered the way he filled you up and whispered that you would be a hot "mommy." You shook your head, trying to push away the dirty thoughts.

As you walked out of the store with your husband, you grabbed the meat and headed towards the front of store. Shoko stood there, her face full of worry. "What's wrong?" you asked, concerned.

"I was just worried about you and the baby," Shoko replied, her eyes scanning over the both of you. "But it looks like you have a great support system here," she added, a small smile creeping onto her face.

She quickly pulled the baby close to her chest, trying to soothe their cries. You watched as she struggled to balance the bags in her free hand and carry the baby at the same time. Feeling guilty for not helping, you offered to carry the bags for her. As you reached for them, Satoru appeared behind you, his warm body pressing against yours.

You could feel his chest rising and falling, and his warm breath tickled your ear. "I can take it from here," he said in a low, husky voice. Taking the bags from your hands, he tilted his head and placed a small, wet kiss on your neck before walking towards the car.

You stood there, completely stunned, as he continued to walk without even sparing a glance your way.

As you walked out onto the porch of the snowy cabin, the serene surroundings greeted you. The sound of music drifted through the crisp air, accompanied by the smell of barbecue cooking on the grill. You couldn't help but smile as you saw your friends chatting and laughing with each other. You were dressed comfortably in shorts and a warm hoodie, with tan tights. Underneath your clothes, you wore a bathing suit, just in case you decided to take a dip in the nearby hot tub later on.

Suguru, carried his young child in one arm and a beer in the other. You plopped down on the couch next to your friends Utahime and Shoko, both of them sipping on cold cans of Mike's Hard Lemonade. As you settled in, you stretched your sore muscles and straightened your back, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your face. You watched your husband talking with Suguru, their conversation interspersed with sips of their beers. Despite the cold weather, they both seemed content in their conversation.

As you sat in the dimly lit couch, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy towards Jiyuu. You desperately wanted to know the background between her and your cold, reserved husband, Satoru. What could someone like Jiyuu have that made Satoru fall head over heels for her?

You grabbed a cold Mikes from Shoko and took a drink of the sweet strawberry liquor. "Shoko," you turned to your friend, "how close were Jiyuu and Satoru? And please, don't spare any details. I want to know everything."

Shoko raised an eyebrow and turned to look at your other friend, Utahime, before turning back to you. "Well, they started dating when Satoru came to work at his father's company," she said, grabbing some fruit and taking a bite of the juicy pineapple before offering you some. "They were always together, even outside of work. It was like they were inseparable."

"Then I know they dated for a long time, but they kept it a secret because his father didn't approve of their relationship," she said, her gaze shifting to your husband who was laughing with Suguru.

"Didn't approve of what?" You asked curiously, propping your legs up on the couch and wrapping your hands around them.

"Well, I know that Jiyuu's mother stole money from his father's company," she replied, her lips going into a thin line. "I don't really know much since I wasn't particularly close to Satoru at the time."

"Wow, that's quite the scandal," you replied, intrigued by the conversation. "But why did his father care so much about who Satoru dated?"

Shoko sighed, her expression turning serious. "Well, you see, Satoru’s father is very traditional and believed that Satoru should only marry someone from a wealthy and respectable family. Jiyuu's mother's actions brought shame to their family and his father didn't want Satoru to be associated with that."

Grabbing your necklace, you began to play with the cold gold, your fingers tracing the intricate pattern. "She eventually got fired since she also worked at his father's company, but once Satoru took over, he instantly hired her to be his secretary," Utahime explained, rolling her eyes at your husband.

"I never liked that Jiyuu girl," Shoko chimed in, nodding in agreement. "She's too...well, you know what I mean." She paused, her eyes flickering to the floor for a split second.

You stared at your husband, admiring his strong physique as he flexed his muscles under his black compression shirt. Your heart ached with desire to be close to him, to feel his warmth and comfort. But at the same time, there was a sense of pain and unease that lingered in your mind. You couldn't understand why there were days when he treated you with love and kindness, only to suddenly become cold and distant the next.

Lost in your thoughts, you fell into a heavy silence as you pondered the recent events. It was hard to comprehend how much Satoru must have loved her to go through the trouble of rehiring her as his secretary, despite the complications it brought to his relationship with his father. But at the same time, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain in your heart whenever you thought about your past lover, Toji. It was a pain that you couldn't explain, especially since you weren't even thinking about him at the moment.

As you sipped on your strawberry lemonade, mixed with a generous amount of alcohol, your mind drifted off to another scenario. You thought about Jiyuu, and how she must have suffered when she found out that her lover was unexpectedly getting married. The thought of her pain and heartache made you feel a sense of sympathy and understanding towards her. It was a reminder that love could bring immense joy, but also unimaginable pain.

You knew that feeling all too well, the feeling of getting abandoned and trashed by someone you loved. You had watched as she fell head over heels for him, the man she probably spent so much time with and spent imagining the life they would have in the future. Feeling sick to your stomach, you got up from your spot on the couch and stumbled towards the bathroom, ignoring her frantic calls for you to come back.

Passing through the living room and kitchen, you finally found the small white and blue bathroom. You threw yourself onto the cold tile floor, leaning over the toilet as you emptied the contents of your stomach. Your body shook with sobs as you realized the gravity of the situation - you had ruined everything. You had ruined this relationship, ruining the future Satoru could have had with her.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you thought about how selfish and impulsive your actions were. You couldn't believe that you had let your own insecurities and fears destroy something so beautiful. You felt like such a shit person, and you knew that the guilt and regret would haunt you for a long time to come.

As you sat there, trying to hold back your tears, you couldn't help but think about how much your life had changed since your father had arranged for you to marry Satoru Gojo. You should have said no, or even run away from this forced marriage, but you were too afraid to go against your father's wishes. Now, as you sat on the cold floor, tears streaming down your face, you couldn't help but feel trapped and suffocated by this marriage.

The constant arguments and lack of love between you and Satoru had taken a toll on you, and you were exhausted from trying to make it work. You couldn't help but think that maybe Satoru would be happier with Jiyuu, who he had always loved. As you cried, your vision became clouded with tears, and you wiped your mouth with a piece of tissue. The cold floor beneath you only added to the physical and emotional pain you were feeling. You placed your hands on your thighs, feeling the tears dropping onto them, and you couldn't help but wonder how much longer you could endure this loveless and unhappy marriage.

You felt like a failure you felt like you were unable to be loved, to feel loved by someone else. Toji was long gone and now u were stuck in a marriage with Satoru who didn’t want anything to do with you. You felt like your body was slowly dying, your heart racing as you cried. You felt useless, like a piece of trash.

Closing your eyes you sat on the cold floor of the restroom, flushing the toilet you just stared at the floor. You didnt even want to live anymore, your life was a failure and you were a failure. The only person who understood you was gone, probably in love with someone else.

Your moment of silence was interrupted by a loud knock on the door, and you felt a surge of annoyance as you tried to compose yourself. You had been crying, and your husband knew it. He always knew. As the door slowly opened to reveal your white-haired husband, you couldn't help the feeling of resentment bubbling up inside you. He looked at you with a slight bit of concern, but you knew it was all just an act.

"Are you okay?" he asked, closing the door behind him before crouching down to your level. You held your breath, trying to make it sound like you weren't just bawling your eyes out a second ago.

"I'm fine," you hiccuped, your mascara ruined and smudged all over your face. Your husband sighed and got back up, grabbing your arms and lifting you up. He propped you up against the sink, the cold porcelain sending shivers down your spine.

"You're a mess, Y/N," he said in a whisper, grabbing tissues to clean up the tears streaming down your face. You stared at him with a mixture of resentment and admiration. Yes, he may be beautiful, but that didn't change the fact that he was the reason you were crying in the first place. You pushed him away, placing a hand on his chest.

"Satoru, stop pretending you care about me," you said bitterly, your eyes full of betrayal as you glared at your husband who remained unfazed. He casually opened the cabinet next to you, grabbing a pack of makeup wipes and opening it without a second thought.

"Y/n, I do care. You're my wife," he said, placing a hand on your chin and tilting your face up. He grabbed a wet makeup wipe and began wiping your eyes, trying to remove the mascara that had stained your cheeks.

You couldn't help but feel a shiver run down your spine as his blue eyes stared back at you. But you knew it was all a façade, a facade that he had been keeping up since the day you got married. "I'm sorry, I know I wasn't the woman you wanted to marry, Satoru," you said, avoiding his gaze as he continued to clean your face.

He didn't say anything, he was quiet. Only helping you off the counter, he threw away the trash and asked if you had thrown up. You nodded, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. He sighed and grabbed an extra toothbrush for you, handing it to you with instructions to brush your teeth and take some mouthwash.

As he stood next to you, his eyes bore into you with disdain. You could feel his distaste for you, even as he silently watched you do what he had instructed. You couldn't help but feel like a burden, knowing that your husband didn't truly care for you or want to be with you. You knew deep down that he only married you for your family's wealth and status.

“I'm sorry,” you said again, your voice barely above a whisper. You knew he didn't like when you apologized, but you couldn't help it. You always felt like you were walking on eggshells around him, trying to please him and make him happy.

“Stop apologizing Y/N, let's go back,” he said, his tone cold and dismissive. As he pulled you into a hug, you couldn't help but feel a pang of longing for the warmth and love that was lacking in your marriage.

As he opened the restroom door and turned off the light, you interlocked hands and followed him back to the patio. All eyes were on you as you returned, and you could feel the judgment and pity from your friends and family. Your friend Utahime rushed up to you, her expression full of concern.

“Oh my god! Y/n are you okay? What happened?” she asked, looking between you and your husband. His grip on your hand tightened, a silent warning for you to keep quiet.

“I just felt a bit sick, I'm sorry. I feel much better now,” you forced a lazy smile, trying to downplay the situation. Utahime smiled back, but you could see the worry in her eyes.

Grabbing your back Utahime took you from Satoru’s grasp. Your husband staring at you as you walked away with your friends. “How about that hot tub we were talking about yesterday?” Nodding you followed her to the tub, Shoko already inside with Suguru, both of them deep in conversation before turning to you.

You took off your clothes, your black bikini showing. Climbing into the tub you dipped your feet inside, the warm water playign around with your feet. Putting your whole entire body into the hot tub you instantly felt relaxed. Your muscles loosing up on the warmth of the water.

The steam from the hot tub quickly enveloped the two of you, making the chilly air more bearable. Your husband reluctantly followed you, his shirt quickly discarded and replaced with a pair of baggy shorts that were handed to him by Suguru. You couldn't help but feel a sense of discomfort as your husband joined you, his eyes roaming over your exposed body.

As you leaned back and rested your head on Utahime's shoulder, she gently squeezed your thigh in a comforting gesture. "I missed you too, y/n," she said, her long dark purple hair cascading over her shoulders. "I miss the carefree days of college, before we were tied down by marriage and responsibilities."

You let out a wistful sigh, nodding in agreement. "The parties were the best part," you said, a small smile tugging at your lips.

But Utahime seemed oblivious to the tension between you and your husband, her eyes lighting up as she continued to talk about the parties and adventures you had together. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy towards her carefree attitude. You missed being able to let loose and have fun without worrying about the consequences.

“Oh my god Y/n,” Her eyes lit up, a smile creeping onto her beautiful face. “Do you remember when we snuck out of our dorm room to go to the frat party?” She giggled playfully shoving your shoulder.

The cold air filled your lungs, the hot water making the atmosphere feel safe, “And then we got caught coming back? How could I ever forget.” You said smiling back at her. Handing you a glass of wine you hesitantly took it taking a sip of the red wine.

"If I remember correctly, that's where you met Toji, right?" She asked, tilting her head with a slight smirk creeping onto her face. Satoru turned to her, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Yeah," you replied, taking a gulp of wine. The liquid went down your throat, and you let out a satisfied sigh.

Satoru continued to stare at you, his eyes glaring. He couldn't understand why you would bring up your ex-lover, especially when he was right there next to you.

"You and Toji were so cute together. It's such a shame you had to break up," she giggled, tilting her head towards your husband who narrowed his eyes at her. You could feel his anger radiating off of him, but you simply took another sip of your wine, not wanting to engage in the conversation.

"Hey, that's enough, Hime," Shoko chimed in, shaking her head at your friend. You could see the tension in the room, and you knew it was time to change the subject. "Let's talk about something else," you said, trying to diffuse the situation.

As you lounged in the hot tub, the night seemed to stretch on forever. You laughed and joked with your friends, but every now and then, you caught your husband smiling at you. It was a rare sight to see, as he usually kept his guard up and his emotions hidden. But in that moment, it felt like he had let his barriers down and allowed you to see the real him, the man you could potentially fall in love with. His icy blue eyes were intense as they locked onto yours, his slightly damp hair sticking to his forehead.

One by one, your friends had left the hot tub, needing to get up early the next morning. And now, it was just the two of you, the air thick with unspoken tension. You couldn't help but admire his physique as water droplets cascaded down his collarbone, the muscles of his chest defined and chiseled. With each breath he took, his chest would rise and fall, his gaze practically devouring your body. His lips were a soft shade of pink, glistening with water and looking oh so tempting.

You sat next to him, feeling the warmth of his body beside you. He had his arm resting on your thigh, and you couldn't help but scoot closer to him. "You look good," he said, his eyes admiring your figure. It was the first time you had ever heard him compliment you sober, and it made your heart flutter.

His hand traced through your thighs under the warm water, his touch sending shivers down your spine. Slowly, his hand rode up to your bathing suit bottom, the two small bows on the side the only thing holding it together. You held your breath as his fingers grazed your skin, aching for his touch.

"You too," you whispered, unable to take your eyes off of him. The snow continued to fall outside, the weather dropping slightly, but you didn't care. The warmth between you and your husband made the cold disappear.

Suddenly, he grabbed the bottom of your bathing suit and pulled you on top of him. You straddled him, feeling his hard body against yours. He placed his long and veiny hands on your waist, giving it a small squeeze. "You packed a bathing suit?" he asked, his hands tracing up the sides of your hips.

Nodding, you let out a small "Mhm," placing your hand on his hair and began massaging his soft locks. You could feel the tension between you melting away as you gazed into each other's eyes. In that moment, nothing else mattered except for the two of you and the love you shared.

The hot tub bubbled, heat radiating off it. Stroking his hair back you gave him a slick back, revealing his full face to you. “I like you with this hairstyle,” You smiled slightly, his hands still on your waist. Pulling you closer you felt the tension between you, the same tension you felt at the market.

"Thanks," he replied, his voice low and husky. His fingers traced circles on your lower back, sending shivers down your spine. You leaned in closer, your lips just inches from his. The steam from the hot tub enveloped you, making the moment feel even more intimate.

"You know, I've always loved your hair," he whispered, his lips grazing against your ear. "It's so soft and silky."

You couldn't resist any longer. You closed the gap between your lips and his, the kiss starting out slow and gentle but quickly turning into a passionate embrace. Your hands roamed over each other's bodies, feeling the heat and desire building between you.

As the kiss deepened, you felt his hands move down to your hips, pulling you closer until you were sitting on his lap. You could feel his hard body against yours, the warmth and strength of it making you melt even more.

"I can't get enough of you," he murmured between kisses, his hands now roaming under your bathing suit. You let out a soft moan as his fingers traced over your skin, igniting a fire within you.

His lips trailed down your neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses as his hands continued to explore your body. You couldn't help but arch your back, pressing yourself closer to him, wanting to feel every inch of his body against yours.

"God, you're intoxicating," he whispered, his lips now grazing over your collarbone. You let out a soft gasp as his hand slipped under your bathing suit bottoms, his fingers teasing and tantalizing you.

You couldn't deny the intense desire coursing through your body as he continued to touch and kiss you. Every touch, every kiss, sent shivers down your spine, driving you wild with need. "Please," you moaned, your voice filled with desperation.

He chuckled, the sound sending vibrations through your body. "Impatient, are we?"

"No, just eager," you panted, your hands gripping onto his shoulders as he trailed hot kisses down your stomach, his fingers still working their magic between your legs.

He chuckled again, his breath hot against your skin. "I love how you can't get enough of me," he whispered, his voice dripping with desire.

You couldn't help but moan as he moved his lips back up to yours, his tongue tangling with yours in a heated kiss. The hot water of the tub only added to the intensity as your bodies pressed together, the heat and steam fogging up the surrounding windows. "I want you," you gasped, your body arching into his touch.

He grinned, the dim light from the candles casting a seductive glow on his face. "You have me," he growled, before claiming your lips once again.

Despite the risk of getting caught, the thrill of being fingered by your husband while your friends were fast asleep in the cabin was too exciting to pass up. Satoru's long, slick fingers expertly pumped in and out of you, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You bit your lip to muffle your moans, trying to stay quiet so as not to wake your sleeping friends. But your husband enjoyed seeing you struggle and squirm under his touch, relishing in the control he had over your pleasure.

As his fingers curled inside of you, hitting all the right spots, you couldn't help but place your chin on his chest and wrap your arms around his neck, giving in to the pleasure. "Fuck, Toru," you moaned, feeling his hardened cock pressing against your pussy through his boxers.

He groaned in response, encouraging you to grind against him even more. As you moved your hips, rubbing against his swim shorts, he continued to finger you faster and faster, his thumb swirling over your sensitive clit. The combination of his skilled fingers and your own movements had you on the verge of ecstasy.

But as much as you wanted to have sex with your husband right then and there, the thought of your friends potentially catching you in the act made you hesitate. You bit your lip once again, trying to hold back your moans as his long fingers continued to work wonders inside of you.

As you felt yourself on the brink of orgasm, your body started to twitch and your husband noticed, sensing that you were close. He smirked and removed his long and slick fingers from you, earning a loud gasp from your lips.

You looked up at him, confused by his actions, but he just smiled and said, "We should go to sleep. We have to wake up early in the morning." Placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, he got up from the hot tub and headed inside, leaving you alone in the warm water, your mind still reeling from the unexpected interruption. As you watched him walk away, you couldn't help but admire the outline of his hard dick through the wet fabric of his swim trunks.

He grabbed one of the towels from outside and disappeared into the house, leaving you absolutely dumbfounded and wanting more, but also feeling a sense of disappointment that the moment had ended.

Your anxiety was palpable, causing you to tap nervously on the side of the chair as you waited for your friend Shoko to come back.

Your heart was beating faster than ever, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread wash over you. The first thing you did when you got home from the trip was schedule an appointment with your friend, who happened to be an endocrinologist. You needed answers, and you needed them now.

Staring at the floor, you could practically feel your heart beating out of your chest. The smell of bleach and alcohol filled your nose, causing your nostrils to flare. Satoru had told you earlier that day that he would unfortunately not be able to come with you to your appointment. Despite everything that had happened at the cabin, he was still the same. Acting as if nothing had ever happened that day, and it left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Your body felt tense, it felt like hours had passed since they had drawn your blood and taken it to the lab for testing. The anticipation and unknown of whether or not you would be able to have a child weighed heavily on you. As you sat in the sterile doctor's office, nostalgia hit you like a ton of bricks. You couldn't help but remember the last time you were in this position, but it was with Toji.

After this, you were going to head to Satoru's work, hopefully to deliver him the good news. Biting your lip anxiously, you stood up and paced back and forth in your apartment, your feet making a small tap noise with each step you took. Turning to look at the clock, it felt as if seconds had turned into hours. You were anxiously waiting for Ieri to come back and tell you your results.

But as the time ticked by, doubts started creeping into your mind. What if you weren't infertile? Would things go back to how they were and Satoru would just constantly ignore you? And if you were infertile, would Satoru divorce you and leave you? Your eyebrows furrowed, you didn't want him to leave.

You hated that you were starting to fall for him. His warmth in the morning and that stupid smile of his were starting to grow on you. The thought of not being able to carry his child made your heart ache. You wanted to be a mother, and a damn good one at that.

Ieiri walked into the room, her posture straight and her face expressionless. As she approached, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread wash over you. You knew that this was the moment you would find out if you were infertile or not.

"Okay, we got the lab's results back," she said, her tone professional and matter-of-fact. Flipping through the documents in her hand, the sound of paper crunching filled the tense silence in the room. You couldn't help but feel impatient, desperate to know the verdict. Could you have children of your own or not?

Finally, she looked up at you with a look of sympathy in her eyes. You knew what that look meant. Your heart sank as she avoided your gaze and closed the document. "Y/N, I'm sorry to say that your chances of having a child are quite low," she said, her voice gentle but tinged with sadness. She grabbed a chair and placed it in front of you, hesitating for a moment before sitting down.

You felt a lump form in your throat as the reality of your situation hit you. You had always dreamed of having children of your own, but now that dream seemed even further out of reach.

"So you're saying I can't get pregnant?" Your heart shattered into a million pieces, your dreams of starting a family with your partner, Satoru, fading away. Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," Ieiri sighed, placing a comforting hand on your thigh. "It's going to be hard for you to conceive. It's practically impossible for you to get pregnant."

Your vision blurred as you tried to hold back your tears. "But why? What's wrong with me?"

"It's a combination of factors, such as low ovulation and hormonal imbalances," She explained gently. "And even if you were to conceive, there would be a high risk of miscarriage."

Feeling devastated, you turned away from her and grabbed some tissues to wipe away your tears. "Is there anything I can do? Any treatments or options?"

She nodded, turning around to grab some papers. "Yes, here are some treatments that have been proven to help women like you who have a low chance of getting pregnant. I suggest you talk to Satoru about this, Y/n."

Grabbing the papers you took them into your hands, tears falling onto the paper. “Thank you Shoko,” You smiled wearily at her getting up and grabbing your things. “Just please and come and see me once you choose what to do okay? I can help you Y/N.” Smiling you thanked her before walking out of the room.

The sobs wracked through your body, causing you to double over in pain. Your hands trembled as you covered your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your heart breaking. You had known this day would come, but it didn't make it any easier. You had always dreamed of becoming a mother, of holding your own child in your arms and loving them with every fiber of your being. But now, as you sat alone in your car, you were reminded once again of the cruel reality that you could never have children.

The doctor's words echoed in your mind, a sentence that felt like a death sentence for your dreams of motherhood. You wiped the tears from your eyes and started the car with a small click, the engine roaring to life as you drove out of the medical center and towards your husband's workplace. As you drove, you couldn't help but imagine how different your life would have been if you could have had a child.

The weight of the world seemed to crush you as you sat alone in your empty room, tears streaming down your face. You couldn't believe it - first, your arranged marriage fell apart, and now this. You had been trying for years to have a child, and just when you thought it might finally happen, you received the devastating news that you would never be able to conceive. The pain was unbearable, and you could feel your heart shattering into a million pieces.

All the hopes and dreams you had for a family of your own were now gone, replaced by a deep sense of loss and emptiness. The thought of never being able to experience the joy of motherhood, to hold your own child in your arms, was too much to bear. You let out a gut-wrenching sob, feeling the weight of your sadness and disappointment overwhelm you.

You had held onto that last ounce of belief, that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you would be able to conceive. But now, that belief was shattered, leaving you with nothing but pain and despair. The future that you had envisioned for yourself was now gone, and you were left to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart.

As you cried, you couldn't help but feel like your life was falling apart. Everything you had ever wanted seemed to slip through your fingers, leaving you with nothing but an overwhelming sense of grief and loneliness. It was a pain that words couldn't describe, and you wondered how you would ever be able to move on from this devastating blow.

In that moment, it felt like your world had collapsed onto you, barely hanging on by a thread. You were drowning in a sea of emotions, unable to find a way out. All you could do was let out your tears, hoping that somehow, the weight of your pain would lessen. But deep down, you knew that this pain would never truly go away - it would always be a part of you, a constant reminder of the dream that would never come true.

You quickly made your way to the building, hastily parking your car and slamming the door shut. With shaking hands, you pressed the car door keys, locking your vehicle before walking towards the front of the building. As you approached the entrance, one of the workers made eye contact with you and smiled, "Hello, how may I help you?" She tried her best not to notice your puffy red eyes and the tears streaming down your face.

"I'm here to see Satoru, my husband," you managed to say, your voice trembling with emotion. The worker's eyes widened immediately, and she apologized for not recognizing you instantly, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Gojou, but he's currently not accepting any visitors right now."

"I'm his goddamn wife!" you yelled, feeling a mixture of anger and desperation. You stormed inside, determined to find his office which was just around the corner. As you turned the corner, you saw that the blinds were closed and you couldn't see anything at all. Your heart sank as you realized that he was purposely avoiding you.

Frustrated and hurt, you banged on the door, "Satoru, open the damn door!" You could hear muffled voices from inside, and your heart clenched at the thought of him being with someone else.

Hesitating for a slight moment, you grabbed the doorknob and opened the lavish glass door, covered in blinds. Your eyes scanned the room, immediately spotting your husband. Your mouth fell open as you saw him ramming his dick inside Jiyuu, who was bent over his office table.

Quickly closing your mouth, you cleared your throat, trying to maintain composure. Your husband's eyes widened in shock as he saw you. "Jesus Christ, Y/N!" Jiyuu screamed, frantically trying to cover up her naked body.

You remained stoic, walking up to Satoru and throwing a stack of papers at him. "I'm infertile, Satoru," you stated coldly, glaring at him. He scrambled to put his pants back on, his bare chest exposed and his eyes filled with guilt.

Your mind was a whirlwind of emotions, from anger to sadness to betrayal. You couldn't believe that your husband had lied to you and chosen to spend time with his ex lover instead of going to your endocrinologist appointment with you. The pain in your heart was unbearable, and you felt like you couldn't even trust the person you had vowed to spend the rest of your life with.

You walked out of the office, slamming the glass door in a fit of rage and not caring if you damaged it. As you walked away, you couldn't help but think that maybe dying would be easier than facing the pain and betrayal that you were experiencing.

Satoru ran out moments later, his hair a mess and his shirt barely buttoned up. He looked genuinely guilty for a split second until he saw your face. "Y/N, I'm sorry. I didn't think you were coming," he said, staring at your eyes. He didn't even bother to spare a glance at his lover who had creeped up behind him.

You dryly laughed at him. "I'm stupid, Satoru. I genuinely thought we were bonding at the cabin, but now I realize everything was a lie," you said, turning your gaze to Jiyuu. Her hair was a mess and her makeup was smudged everywhere.

"And I quite literally don't care if you have sex with her or not, Satoru. She's the woman you love, not me," you continued, pushing past him and shoving your shoulder into his chest. As you passed by him, he grabbed your arm and pulled you back.

"Y/N," he opened his mouth, about to respond, but then noticed Jiyuu's sharp glare directed at him. He quickly closed his mouth and nodded, understanding that he should keep his thoughts to himself. "I'll see you at the house," he said as you turned to leave

You nodded and walked passed him. Despite your initial feelings of anger and betrayal, you couldn't help but understand why Satoru did what he did. He was in love with Jiyuu, and it was clear that he would never have feelings for you. The memories of the cabin trip that once brought you joy now felt like a facade, filled with actions and words that were all based on lies.

Your head began to ache as you tried to make sense of everything that had happened. You couldn't help but feel foolish for ever believing that Satoru could see you in a romantic way.

But deep down, you also knew that you couldn't stay mad at Satoru forever. After all, he was just following his heart, even if it meant breaking yours in the process. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself that everything happens for a reason, and that this would only make you stronger in the end.

taglist; @allofffmypeaches @shycreatorsandwich @ryumurin @cloudsinthecosmos @4-everm-0-re @kurookinnie @bluebreadenthusiast @haurno @fouyumixuri @numblytemporary @spin-garden @oyaoya-bungeegum @we-loveebony @katteddie86 @mine-lu @rosso-seta @sunehry @lavender-hvze @ioveartfilm @kneesheee @chilichopsticks @muchlov3ashley @mystarlightswiftt @actualdeemon @hojoslutoru @polarbvnny @getoicious @bennysbunnies @attaziante @h0neysiba @cyzvx @ropickle @tqd4455 @lineelilii @hypernovaxx @mo0nforme @liannele9 @erencvlt

1K notes · View notes

starlostseungmin · 30 days

Text

husband!minho

✰ notes: third entry of my husband!skz series and as for who won the poll, it’s minho’s turn!! minor warning: sex is mentioned but nothing happened!! i hope you guys enjoy!! not proofread. DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS! thank you <33

ꔛ

Husband Minho who asked, “Will you be the mother of my three kids?” instead of “Will you marry me?” on one random afternoon when you were both playing with his cats at his parents’ house. It served as his proposal and gave you a jingle ball because he didn’t have a ring with him at that time.

Husband Minho who used to be a tsundere and nonchalant person but later changed into a fully affectionate bunny the moment he fell for you.

Husband Minho who got emotional during the wedding day but tried to hold his tears back since it was expected that his friends would tease him later. He gave up eventually and cried when you slow danced with him at the reception.

Husband Minho who teased you a lot but in a loving way. He tends to be a menace sometimes but it wasn’t bad. Your big baby just loves to play with you.

Husband Minho who pretends to be annoyed when you ask for a kiss but deep inside he wants to smother you with all the love you deserve. Eventually, he couldn’t keep it to himself so he cuddles you with lots and lots of kisses.

Husband Minho who spoils you with his five Michelin-star cooking skills and serves you high-quality food. He is the happiest when you compliment him and finish everything on your plate.

Husband Minho who loves to drag you along when he goes camping and offers to take care of everything while you rest. He’d only ask for minor tasks from you to help him.

Husband Minho who sends you weird selfies and cat pictures when you’re not together and says he misses you with the kids (his cats).

Husband Minho who listens to your worries and gives constructive criticisms but at the same time he comforts you with the things you need to feel better.

Husband Minho who loves to encourage you to do the things you want as long as it would benefit him and it’s not illegal. “The heart knows what it wants,” He said. “But let’s not go to jail shall we?”

Husband Minho who lets you burst out in anger while he stood there listening to everything. He’s not the type to baby you every time and will be civil when it comes to arguments knowing who is in the right and wrong.

Husband Minho who will never allow you to sleep unless everything is resolved. He’d be sorry if it was his fault and be the cutest baby bunny that you can’t resist to forgive. This comes along with cuddles and kisses or makeup sex (if you’re both into it).

Husband Minho whose love languages are acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation.

Husband Minho whom you swoon to over and over because of how handsome and cute he is. Never a day you’d miss complimenting him by which he’ll be all red and mushy from being shy.

Husband Minho who got the interest of touching your butt out of his love and affection.

Husband Minho who lays on top of you when he sees you lying down on your shared bed the moment he gets home because he’s tired and your presence makes him feel relaxed and secure. He tends to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

Husband Minho who is loud and dramatic in the most precious way.

Husband Minho who never forgets important dates and will throw everything away just to spend time with you.

Husband Minho who acts like a mother especially when you get sick and is stubborn.

Husband Minho who is good with kids, and had asked you a few times if you want to have one with him but at the same time he doesn’t want to put pressure on your shoulders. He reassures that he can wait and doesn’t even mind if he spends his lifetime with you alone.

Husband Minho who feels appreciated and loved when you tell him about the things he means to you and how much you are head over heels for him.

Husband Minho who gets excited when you give him cat necessities. You wonder that he loves his cats more than you sometimes but he’d say you were equally receiving his love and affection.

Husband Minho who doesn’t always say he loves you but rather says that you are his getaway from everything. It’s you and him against the world, nothing could replace you as you are his happy place and favorite person. The one who comes second after his cats and knows his priorities but you get the privilege.

Husband Minho who loves you to the moon and back.

Husband Minho who treasures you the most and the one he’d put first before everything.

Husband Minho whom you’ll love for a lifetime, promised to never hurt, never leave, and never break his heart.

✰ taglist: @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89

1K notes · View notes

railingsofsorrow · 1 month

Text

don't walk out

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: “we can fight and we can be mad but we can't leave.” pairing: s.reid x gn!reader w.c: 1K warnings/content: implied abandoned issues; argument; silent treatment (brief); language; angst. A/N: guess I'm on a roll today. I just love some angst.

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“is that supposed to make me feel better?”

lights had barely been turned on when you spat out a response, breaking the tense silence. your apartment was tidy, nothing out of order, even the pillows where settled two on each edge of the couch like you always did before leaving for work.

it was the expected. three days away on a case didn't exactly mean your house would turn upside down, would it? unanimated things didn't move on their own. but one thing that was turning upside down was your mood. not only did the journey home came with lots of turbulence, but Spencer had to make an unpleasant comment that made your blood boil. was it wrong that you just wanted to not look at him right now? you were even considering not sleeping beside him tonight.

“for fucks sake.” you mumbled under your breath when he had stayed silent. he's ignoring you now. great. throwing your work bag on the couch, you didn't even take your shoes off as you moved back toward the door. you can't handle his passive aggressive act and you certainly won't handle his silence treatment.

“where are you going?” he called out, shuffling out of the bedroom upon hearing the sound of keys dangling. no. no, you're not leaving, are you? “what—”

“i'm gonna take a walk, spencer.”

it didn't take a second for him to rush over and stop your exit by blocking the door. “what are the car keys for then?” desperation clouded his tone and you felt guilt building up in your chest, but it wasn't bigger than your frustration.

“I'm gonna drive.”

“at this time of the night? you hate driving at night.”

“are you my father?” he almost flinched at your sharp tone. okay, he deserved that hostility. he's been nothing but rude to you the entire jet ride back home. it's not that you did anything — even if you had done something, it does not justify the way he was treating you —, the case had been hard. it involved kids. the team wasn't fast enough. he wasn't fast enough. you almost got hurt. it was a lot to absorb in a short amount of time.

he never wanted this: you walking out while you were mad at each other. no. you had made a deal long ago. you both were laughing after your first stupid argument, something about forgetting to fold the laundry.

“okay, but we can be like this, right?” you said, nudging him. “we can fight and we can be mad but we can't leave.”

his eyes soften and he almost turns to mush. he understood then that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. and yes. you would be mad and you would upset each other but leaving was off the table. he could do that. there was nothing he'd want more.

but now he'd cross a line. didn't he? how dare he do that? how dare he cause you do want to walk out?

“i'm sorry.” spencer is still at the doorway when you ask him to move. he won't move. he can't. “i really am. I shouldn't have said that. it was out of line.”

“really?” you snap. he hears the edge in your voice and the crack. it breaks him. he just wants to hold you, he never meant—means to hurt you. “then why did you? why would you even think about something like that?”

he holds back his breath of relief once you've put the keys back in the bowl. the lump in his throat diminishing slightly.

“i was upset. angry— at the case. the whole situation, not you.“ he clarified. “sweetheart, i'm sorry. I didn't mean it.” you're searching his face for some indication of lie that you won't find. “i'm sorry.”

“you're an idiot.” your anger is gone, there's just frustration now. maybe at yourself, because you can't really stay mad at him as he stares at you with those eyes.

“i am,” he admits, no ounce of hesitation in his tone. he's fairly certain he is, in fact, an idiot. “i'm sorry.” he repeats and he will repeat over and over again until you forgive him. he will beg if he has to. “don't leave, please.”

and that is not fair. it's not. he can't make you mad and say sorry and all will be forgiven. he can't look at you with those eyes and think things will be magically fixed.

but then your armor cracks. suddenly, his behaviour makes sense.

we can fight and we can be mad but we can't leave.

“i wasn't going to—” you're ashamed at this point. you were so blinded by anger that you'd do something you promised to never do. “you know I wouldn't leave, right?” then his desperation in reaching the door before you makes sense and you're taken back to the moment you promised not to walk out in a fight. that's exactly what you where about to do.

“i'm sorry.” you say, staring at the keys in your hands. “i didn't think before acting.”

spencer nods slowly, taking a step closer towarss your frame. “and I didn't think before speaking. I'm the one that should be sorry.”

you caught a glimpse at his twitchy fingers and takes one of his hands into your own, letting the keys slip to the floor as you yank him to your arms. he only complies by squeezing you against him. and finally, both of you have what you've been craving since this case started: each other's comfort.

and then, you repeat. “i wasn't going to leave, you know that, right?”

“yeah.” he burries his face into your neck and his voice is muffled by your skin. “yeah, I know.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie @ninkieminjaj ;

#spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #reader insert #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic

1K notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs