#stella's book stuff

[clearcloudlesssky]

desk moment (i totally did not spend 15 minutes arranging this)

a) headphones

b) nail polish which i use for both painting my nails and my sketchbooks

c) 1 book i've read, one book i've started, and one book i have yet to begin reading

d) a doodle, stickers, and a few pens from my tiny collection (god i love the fish pen so much i wanna AUHF) and a jar of cute sugar candy that tastes reprehensible

can you spot the cats ?

#desksetup #aesthetic #booklr #teen writer #teenagers #tumblr desktop #currently reading #books and reading #books #count dracula #perfume: the story of a murderer #the picture of dorian gray #cute #i love sparkles so much almost as much as my fish pen if i had more guts i would go out to school as a disco ball #stella's book stuff

[raiiny-bay]

the kiddos(tm)

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 #myedits #marky #sue #gaston #stella #dhestyn #kelly #bow #average comic book protagonists tbh #if only i'd actually make the comic.................. #someday... #i needed somethin a lil silly to work on while doing mb stuff so i remade an old post #making group poses is actually very fun #so long as you do not look at them from any other angle #the clipping in these... horrendous lol

[kenonade]

stella maris reading log #1

its about damn time i start noting down how i feel when i read what i read. hell yeah. hopefully this makes me a better writer.

spoilers not really about the plot (bc honestly is there even a plot in the sense of a plot) but more about the language below the cut woooooo

tldr: book cool. writing insane. wtf. wtf. wtf. head ouchie. 越级打怪的后果就是头晕脑转 (dizziness is the consequence of attempting to read beyond my level). ooga booga man talk abt english

reading stella maris is so interesting because im just sitting here wondering like. how the FUCK did mccarthy accumulate all this knowledge about a variety of very distinct fields. my brain hurts. this is so much information. im learning nothing and learning everything at the same time. how the man managed to learn all this stuff and how he managed to put it together like this puzzle me equally intensely. its one thing to acquire knowledge. its a whole other thing to convey it in language so dense with information but also character. like, not to be that guy, but when osc does his infodumps i think to myself okay old man lets get you to bed. every time alicia opens her mouth i confront my intellectual inferiority and contemplate the meaning of life because it is alicia talking.

not to mention what the FUCK alicia. if only you’d have KNOWN. EUGH. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

my head hurts. the reason why im writing instead of reading is because ive already reached my reading breaking point where my eyes glaze over and the words go in one and out the other. its only been two hours. difficult language i can handle fine, verbosity is fine, i inhaled the ender stuff and only took breaks when osc pissed me off, but stella maris is information overload in a way that i’ve never experienced before. im like, texting three separate people all the time. oh i should vet this w my math guy. i need to show this to my psych classmate. this has to go to my orthopedics bestie.

i started this book saw the page number and went oh sure. its half the length of the passenger. the style means that it’ll contain less words overall too. i should be able to finish this on a three hour hsr ride. WRONG. i CANT. it’s TOO DIFFICULT. im running into roadblocks very similar to what i felt when i read the passenger: dont know place/name/context/big word. except im finding stella maris to be even more difficult because unlike some nautical jargon or random place in the midwestern usa that i can just look up, i cant. i think its impossible to even begin to comprehend all this math.

that’s definitely part of the charm of stella maris. the format of audio transcripts creates a much more intimate connection between the characters and the reader. the target demographic of this novel, though niche, is definitely not as niche as to comprise only of genius mathematicians with a burning passion for music and a hatred of psychology. the reader might be a master in one of these fields, but alicia outsmarts them in it along with all others. viewed through this lens, the reader is the doctor. the reader is the one who converses with alicia, trying their best to piece together a mind that is so extraordinarily genius and extraordinarily tormented. it’s a position of emotional significance. the reader sits through these audio recordings because they want to understand alicia. and to understand alicia is to love her. (this is a certified when i truly understand my enemy i love him moment)

all of that sits in stark contrast to western’s narration in the passenger.

i wrote an entire paragraph but tumblr fucking ate it. im pissed. its ok. for love i’ll write it again.

western’s narration is detached. it’s impersonal. mccarthy’s clinical and direct use of language alienates the viewer and prevents the formation of any sincere rapport, allowing only mild sympathy for western’s continued suffering. the reader is merely an observer, piecing together the life of a strange, curious creature through inference and deduction. nor is the reader meant to empathize with him. he’s the one who chose to abandon alicia, the one reckless enough to chose race car driving over his degree, and therefore the one who shoulders alone the responsibility of alicia’s death—or so he thinks. in a sense, because western is comparatively lucid, the detached narration becomes almost a punishment for the guilt he’s assigned to himself. he’s not the one in the mental asylum, afterall.

its interesting to me how mccarthy presents this duo to the audience. i have many Thoughts on alicia’s sexuality and stuff but i should finish the book before i synthesize those thoughts. anyway. thanks for reading 👍

#stella maris #cormac mccarthy #kenon.notes #honestly i think at this point i should start a book blogging tag #hm #kenon.reads #it’s cringe but it will suffice #ok this turned into a thing about #the passenger #also #book reading #english #????????? #how do you tag this stuff #idk

[supernovaa-remnant]

sorry I'm actually still not over when I decided to try to buy tickets to the lovejoy show in denver for this up-coming december "as a joke" bc it'd been a handful of minutes since they went on sale and I'd thought it be sold out..

and then I literally got 4 tickets in my cart fully being held for me and ready to check out and I had to let them go because a) I didn't have enough money in my account to buy all 4 tickets + the fees, and, b) I couldn't buy a plane ticket to go to another state for a lvjy concert 😭

I'm still not over it like do you understand how difficult it can be to get lvjy tickets?? and I had to let them go??? aughhh

#if I'd had the money I totally would've tried to get a plane ticket though lmao #but I picked out 4 tickets bc I have 3 friends I would've loved to go with (2 of which haven't seen them live yet) #and also I was literally doing this as a joke #like you don't understand I'll get all the way to checkout with plane tickets or hotel bookings and stuff as a joke #and just to see how much it would cost #bc idk I think it's fun #but it backfired so badly with the lvjy tickets I'm still so sad </3 #stella rambles

[shiningclown69]

Thinking abt how Brandon supposedly runs his hand thru his hair when someone compliments him

And that his hair is described as "unruly"

I am going to eat him.

#this is kinda related to last reblog #the pic is from a winx book called podium for stella #the story is so self indulgent so i kinda like it #its another one of those stories where stella is scared that brandon is interested in another girl but idc the ending is so 🥰🥰🥰 #it stays in my brain rent free #jester talks about stuff #brandon winx

[stellacendia]

Occasionally I am reminded that some people define a "long story" in very, very different ways than I do.... such as seeing someone describe a 12.5k fic as a "beast"

#stella speaks #absolutely no judgement here btw #just cause i write and read very long stuff doesn't mean only very long stuff is valid #12.5k is a respectable number! that takes time and effort! nothing to sneeze at certainly #but uh #i just read a 264k fic in like a day and a half #and then a 62k fic in.... 6ish hours? #and then in my writing- that's a bit harder to measure for reasons #but i'd guess that all my material for watw-old and current-would be well upwards of 200k #and then there's my one and only fanfic #i think it's currently at 37k and that's a) version 2 and b) only about half of the planned story? #so like- i am not judging but i am saying that 'long' on my scale starts significantly higher than 12k lol #also this is nothing new for me and not limited to fanfic either #i was that kid in middle school that considered an 8-900 page book a casual read over a couple of days

[randomshit557]

Another edit for y'all :)

Follow me on Instagram for more!!! Id- book_lover0_0

#book blog #book stuff #booklover #books #bookstan #bookstagram #bookworm #book recommendations #bookaholic #bookish #helen hoang #the kiss quotient #book edit #follow me on insta pls #stella lane #daydreaming #ariana grande

[spacedace]

“Hey, I need to get married for bullshit Infinite Realms reasons, you two in?”

“Tt, of course.”

“Sure thing! Do we need to get going for that like, right now? Or later?”

“Eh, like in a couple of hours? The Observants are demanding some Royal Ball or something and they pulled out some stupid old laws out of their collective asses that if I’m not married by the time it starts they can assign me spouses of their choosing, can you fucking believe that shit?”

“Woah, what the hell? Can they even do that?”

“I was under the impression they were only permitted to observe.”

“Right? It’s total crap, but apparently there’s like this super old law on the books and they didn’t bring it up until now when there’s like no time left to try and force me to marry someone they pick.”

“They are training to gain influence over you?”

“Eh, more like they’re trying to get control of my Dad by way of me. But still fucked as hell.”

“So why do you need to marry both of us? Or do you just need to marry one of us and we should play rock paper scissor for it?”

“Technically I only need to marry one of you, but I don’t want them pulling out any loopholes or something. So, it’d be great if one of you could be my consort for my role as Queen of Mirrors, and one could be my consort for my role as Crown Princess. You two can figure who’s who on that all that, I’m good with whatever.”

“Oooh, can I be consort for the Mirror Court? I can annoy Kon more that way.”

“I am amenable to that. Grandfather will have a fit when he learns that I can cut his access to the Pits off at my discretion and there’s nothing he can do about it.”

“Awesome, okay are you two good for meeting up at like, three? We can pop over to my Lair and get everything sorted out there.”

“Works for me, my only class til this afternoon is at one and the professor already said we’re cutting out early because she has to go out of town this weekend.”

“Four would be more agreeable if possible, I have to take Titus to the vet for his checkup.”

“Okay let’s aim for four then. It’s just signing some paperwork, making some quick blood-slash-ectoplasm pacts and swearing a couple binding oaths… Should only take like five or ten minutes?”

“They’re not gonna make you have a huge royal wedding or anything?”

“Nah. Dad keeps things pretty chill so as long as the paperwork is all in order we’ll be good. Though once Auntie Dorathea finds out she’s absolutely gonna make us have one. She loves planning weddings. Swear its what she makes her hoard out of somehow.”

“So long as we have a say in some of the proceedings I have no issue with that eventuality.”

“Same, it sounds like it’d be a fun way to annoy the Observants even more.”

“Don’t for get all the weirdos trying to be my suitors and all that bullshit.”

“We have an accord then. We can reconvene at the usual place.”

“Awesome, you two are the best! I gotta jet and let everyone know and get the ball rolling on the paperwork stuff. See you guys at four!”

With that, Nomad - Stella Phantom, Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms, Queen of Mirrors, Core of the Speedforce and ghostly hero of the Titans and the Justice League - tore a rip in the fabric of space and time and darted out of the room the same way she came. Through the mind-bending tear in reality the eerie, eye-searing green of the Infinite Realms glowed in all its unsettling glory, Phantom Keep a glittering expanse of night sky made solid in the distance.

Jon waved at her cheerfully as Damian gave a nod of farewell before both silently turned their attention back to their respective tablets as the portal closed behind their friend and teammate and the glimpse of the Ghost Zone disappeared again. Completely unbothered by the conversation just held or the life changing implications that came with them.

Jon was humming as he tapped away at something on the screen before him, Damian propping his head up on his fist in vague boredom as he frowned down at the information he was reading.

The rest of the room Nomad had left behind was caught in a frozen, stunned silence in the wake of the baffling conversation they’d all just been witness to. All eyes in the room darted between Flamebird and Pheonix seated calmly at the end of the table, then to the space where Nomad had disappeared to, back to the young men, and then towards the head of the table where Superman and Batman sat looking bewildered and a bit on the verge of heart attacks.

The short status update meeting was about to become much, much longer it seemed.

Though a lot more entertaining.

#dpxdc #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #jon kent #jon el kent #damian wayne #justice league #super serious chaos #possible platonic super serious chaos it's up to yall #clones are called mirrorborn in the infinite realms #elle is the ancient of the speedforce #Dani Phantom is the Ancient of the Speedforce #I will make this happen if it kills me please someone else write something for this I'm going feral #impulsively marrying your friends to fuck with some of the most powerful entities in existence is a fun pass time everyone should try #their friends and family are exactly as unhinged as these three - sometimes even *More* unhinged - and can't say shit about it #so many justice league members are torn between sobbing because 'This was going to be a short meeting for once!' 😭 #and being SO EXCITED because the chaos that is about to break out in this meeting room is going to be SO GOOD #There is so much tea that is going to be spilled at the cafeteria after this

[wintfleur]

what are rutgers fave pics of stella?💗

౨ৎ Rutgers favorite pictures of Stella

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( thank you for requesting !!! This was such a good idea, thank you nonnie !!! So sorry it took forever to get out )

°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )

au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!

°. — asks about stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ rutger’s photo gallery ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

﹕─┈ Rutger lovesss this picture of Stella. He had to turn his phone off for a minute and take a few breathes before he full on spammed her with texts. No one hypes up Stella like rutger. She had sent this too rutger when her, lily and carmen went to go visit Quinn in Vancouver and the girls were going out. Rutger couldn’t stop thinking about how his beautiful girlfriend is so far away looking so good. He loves how confident she looks.

﹕─┈ Rutger absolutely loves Stella’s freckles, he could stare, count and kiss them for hours if he could. This picture was taken when the couple was in line for some ice cream, the couple and a few of there friends rented a cabin for a week during summer vacation and they had a blast !!!

﹕─┈ rutger loves collecting ‘embarrassing’ pictures of Stella, he honestly saves every picture she sends him or posts, he just finds her so beautiful. Stella had sent this picture to rutger when she was visiting Trevor and Jamie, the three of them were having a ‘girls night’ and Stella had sent rutger that picture of herself. She absolutely hates the picture but rutger loves it so much !!! He loves her in glasses.

﹕─┈ When Stella posted this picture on her Instagram rutger almost went feral . . . he was about to comment something outrageous but had to stop himself when he remembered that no one knows about them at the time. He loves everything about this picture, Stella’s lips, her neck and collarbone . . . her eyes.

﹕─┈ Stella loves animals so much, the amount of pictures he has of Stella with animals. The couple was at one of Stella’s favorite book stores, and the owner has this really adorable dog that loves Stella so much. He took like 20 pictures, giggling the whole time. He loves how comfy and cuddly she looks.

﹕─┈ Rutger took the picture when the couple was having a morning in bed. Rutger was catching up on some games while Stella was reading. Rutger found stella absolutely enchanting and couldn’t help but take a picture of her.

﹕─┈ This picture was taken by rutger when they went out on a date. Taking a walk in the park, picking out some flowers at her favorite flower shop and stopping to get some ice cream. Rutger thinks Stella looks so cute in this picture and a smile is immediately on his lips whenever he sees this picture. It was a great day <333

﹕─┈ rutger had taken a screenshot of Stella on his Mac when they were FaceTiming. Stella was visiting Luke and Jack and she was ranting all about her day, rutger was so enchanted by her beauty and her passion as she talked, he couldn’t help but take a screenshot of his pretty gf !!!

﹕─┈ rutger took this picture of Stella when they were in her room, she was looking through some of her stuff and found her Polaroid camera that Quinn got her. Rutger then took this picture of Stella and it is now in his clear phone case.

°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @juraj-slafkovsky @cixrosie @toasttt11 )

#⋆ ˚｡⋆୨👩🏻‍🎨୧˚ stella hughes au! #💌stellahughes! #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut! #rutger mcgroarty au #rutger mcgroarty x reader #rutger mcgroarty imagine #rutger mcgroarty #hughes!sister #hughes sister #nhl x reader

[clearcloudlesssky]

i ordered a samovar to equip the fellow the brothers karmazov reader. (you will love the ivan devil scene)

anyway i love ivan so much he's such a quirky athiest

OOH THANK YOU VERY MUCH

QUIRKY ATHIEST OMG

alsooo rn i’m working through the zossima chunk very. very. slowly. i greatly look forward to hearing ivan again— bro every single time that man opens his mouth, i mentally brace myself for whatever’s coming out 😭 i absolutely know that i’ll force myself to fixate on that one particular section before moving on

#answering asks #brothers karamazov #stella’s book stuff #mutuals!!

[cosmic--dandelion]

Something I think a lot of people forget about Stolas and Blitzø is how much "Ozzies" changes their dynamic.

Before that, they're a patron and a client. Stolas might indulge in some not strictly sexual damsel-in-distress fantasies, and Blitzø might occasionally match Stolas's absurdly horny energy, and there's s few hints at affection here and there, but at the end of the day, Blitzø wants the book and Stolas wants to be the sub in a bdsm relationship, and that's that.

Their "date" at Ozzies turned their entire affair on its head. Stolas is alone and miserable at his huge empty mansion; Octavia is his only emotional outlet, and Stella's whisked her off somewhere.

He has no friends, no family who actually care about him aside from his daughter, and he's not even close to his servants like he was as a child. Stolas is desperate for any positive social interaction. Then Blitzø calls out of nowhere, asking him on a date. Stolas literally chokes on his Lucky Charms he'd so desperate to get to the phone.

Stolas is in full infatuation mode. This is probably his first real date in his entire life. He was forced into an arranged marriage with a cold, hateful woman and became a father against his will when he was around 19 at most. So he shows up dressed like he's about to be crowned Emperor of the Universe and even bows to Blitzø. Again, just like in "Loo Loo Land," he'd completely oblivious to how obviously unenthusiastic, distracted, and borderline uncomfortable Blitzø is.

Blitzø is legitimately taken aback when Stolas starts trying to make conversation and shows interest in his personal life beyond the carnal. This isn't some sort of machiavellian scheme on Stolas's part. He's being completely sincere. But he's ultimately still projecting his fantasies onto Blitzø instead of actually engaging with him, only this time they're romantic instead of sensual.

Shit goes down, and goes down HARD. Not only does Stolas hide his face in shame when Asmodeus publicly exposes their affair, Blitzø gets it rubbed in *his* face that their "arrangement" destroyed Stolas's reputation and family and is even starting to turn his own daughter against him.

Stolas tries to salvage the evening, but it's way too late.

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that very clear all the time. Buf I just can't tonight. I'm sorry."

This is single-handedly one of the best call outs in the entire series, and HOLY SHIT does it hit home. It throws Stolas into a complete tailspin, and he probably came close to drinking himself to death that night. It's what he always does, burying himself headlong into whatever he thinks will bring him temporary happiness until whoever he's dragged along with him practically has to scream in his face.

It's telling that the very first thing he does is scroll through his phone to reassure himself that he and Blitzø have something more, only to see that Blitzø doesn't look happy in any of his photos, and he was deluding himself the whole time. Ouch. A well-deserved ouch, but an ouch nevertheless.

I think this is where Stolas actually starts to develop feelings for Blitzø, or at least realizes he has them.

Before this, their affair was more of a distraction and an outlet for his pent-up sexual frustration. Stolas went from being so emotionally and physically repulsed by his own wife he had to dissociate when Octavia was conceived to jumping right into a hardcore bdsm contract with a near complete stranger. It's incredibly cathartic for him, but not necessarily good for his mental health. It leaves him deeply psychologically dependent on Blitzø but unable to put aside the kinky bedroom stuff for the basic emotional labor and personal growth a serious, long-term relationship needs to function. For now.

Stolas changes after this. Not all at once, but the lesson sank in. It sinks in even further in "Western Energy". We see that Blitzø has been responding to his walls of text with one or two word replies and blows off his rather tepid apologies and attempts to be considerate. He doesn't visit him in the hospital, doesn't text him more than a half-hearted "git bevver swoon :(".

If Stella hadn't called off the hit, his last words would have been: "Blitzø will...[save me]", followed by a knife through the heart.

Stolas treats Blitzø VERY differently in season 2. While he'll still call him "Blitzy" on occasion, it's hard to imagine the Stolas in "Seeing Stars" or "Oops" calling him his "impish little plaything" or pinching his cheek or embarassing him in public. Stolas is trying so hard not to step on Blitzø's boundaries ar this point that it actually seems to annoy Blitzø, who's so convinced that Stolas could never love him that he seems like he'd almost rather things stay as they were. For all his good intentions, Stolas hasn't given Blitzø any reason to trust or forgive him, at least not yet. Bur he's trying, and I think that's important.

In my opinion, whether you have faith in this relationship ultimately depends on if you think people can truly change.

#helluva boss #stolas #blitzo #stolitz #meta #long post

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Ukefication Of Stolas

Just as many people said that Vivziepop's writing is kind of like the worst of fanfiction tropes, I think one trope in particular is being invoked with Stolas is the Ukefication. It's a term where a character is devolved into a vulnerable and emotional character so they can be submissive to their partner and look more pitiful so you can feel sympathy for them and that they seek comfort in his significant other. A trait that can be seen with Stolas as the show goes on.

Let's go back to the pilot where although he's obsessed with Blitzo, he also can make demands of him and presents himself as someone who has his own agenda other than sex. He actually lives up to the persona of a demon lord and is unapologetic about his depravity. He's a guy who feels like he could be an antagonist if Blitzo gets on his bad side. The guy is truly someone who you should have a bit of fear for.

In the first episode, we do still see him more softer in voice but at the same time there is hint of that devious manipulator who can use Blitzo's situation to exchange more sex out of him. Noticeably, this would be the last time we see hints of his pilot immorality here. Mostly because of the questionable consent of the relationship. But again showing how he holds the cards in the relationship and Blitzo has to navigate his way to say in his favors.

Even though Stolas called in for protection from imp, it was merely an excuse to get close to Blitzo and he showed what he was capable of taking care of himself. It again shows that Stolas is a being capable of doing stuff himself but enjoys Blitzo's company due to his lusting over him.

Seriously, "Truth Seekers" we blatantly see Stolas being the one calling the shots and chaining Blitzo up. trying to show us that he feels trapped in this relationship even if later it would be shown he was the one who got it in Stolas' head they were a item. But again this demonstrates how unequal it feels and how everything seems to be out of his hand

In that same episode, we also see how much of a monster Stolas can be and that even though he's just a prince he still outmatches DHORKS who are slaughtered without any mercy.

I think where the shift happens is in the "Circus" where the established backstory of them being childhood friends was shown and we get more bad slash fanfiction tropes at us. He's also made way younger from an ancient demon who was a fallen angel to just a millennial parent in hell years. And we got this scene where Blitzo plays dominant seducer in order to get the book. We see Stolas be reluctant to sleep with him but gradually gets more into it when he misinterprets his move as being sexually enthusiastic. This is contrast as said before how Blitzo felt trapped when in reality he was the one who got the ball rolling and it shaves off the feeling of domination he previously was tormented by. A

Also the "Circus" finally confirmed Stella had always been abusive and still was in his life because she wanted to torment him. And even though it would have been interesting for her character showing she was always bad, the way they portray it is just so boing that it feels more like derailed characterization in a fanfiction rather than any smart writing. And again it feels like the childhood friend thing just to make Stolas more sympathetic and woobify him due to fans noticing how crappy he comes off as. It's also made to make Stolitz look better in comparison and make him into this sad owl man who just needs someone like Blitzo to finally accept him.

This ukefication can also be seen in how in "Seeing Stars" he mentions how weak he is in the human world when we previously saw him practically at full power without the grimoire and it comes off more of an excuse to make him seem less of a powerhouse and more of a vulnerable person to "relate" to and for him to fawn over Blitzo as he does stuff.

Again in Western Energy they pull out any bs excuse in order to make him be in danger from Striker. This gets annoying that even if he's not one hundred percent based the actual Stolas it again is annoying see someone named after a demon lord be such a wimp in order to damsel him in the episode. And again even more embarrassing it's from one of the lower class demands like an imp. I know they said it's' blessed ropes but you would think that imp would be affected handling that as well if they weren't careful. And even then it should be more difficult taking on a goetia which are said to be very dangerous demons in demonology.

Finally we get Stolas in the last scene after being badly hurt by Striker he has numerous injuries from being stabbed and beaten up. Again he really looks not like the Demon Lord in the pilot but more like those slash doujins you see online. He really was wussified for this ship and to make him into this big teddy bear the fans can feel sorry for even though we know he's capable. And again make Blitzo feel sorry for not being there when was kidnapped.

Overall, as season two has gone on we really see how wussified/ukeficated Stolas has become. He not only has that air of being a great demon to not mess with, but just this more pitiful puppy that is pampered by the creator because of their favored ship. She wants to sell this by making Stolas this poor baby that can't do wrong and is weaker and vulnerable than he looks. It really is sad how a character with so much character is taken down to indulge in an obnoxious romance.

#stolas #stella goetia #stolas goetia #loona #blitzo #helluva boss #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #vivziepop #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticsim #vivziepop critique #anti-vivziepop #stolitz #pilot stolas #helluva stolas #anti-stolitz #striker

[supernovaa-remnant]

looking up good and reputable russian blue breeders so that in like 5 years when I can get one I know where to go

#one day I will have a cat and on that day I will be the most prepared cat owner ever #this is just like when I book trips all the way up until I have to pay and then I end it there like yep okay I know how to book stuff #maybe I'll go on a trip in a few years #lmao #stella rambles

[ellecdc]

hello loveeee 🩷

can i request cbbh universe jily take harry to diagon alley and shop for school supplies before he goes off to hogwarts for the first time 🥹 i cant stop thinking of their reactions when harry gets matched with a wand (+ jily getting emo remembering their first time at ollivanders too 🥲) and james hyping his boy up as they get him his broom 🥹

this is totally not me tryna heal from canon trauma ha ha…

I fucking loved this - thank you for requesting! May we all heal from the trauma that was the canon HP universe.

CBBH James Potter x Lily Evans Potter // Sirius black x Vixen

The boys were practically vibrating with excitement as the group of six made their way to Diagon Alley. And by boys, Lily meant Draco, Harry, Sirius, and James.

“Okay, so we’ve got to go to Ollivander’s for your wands, Flourish and Blott’s for your books, Madame Malkin’s for your robes, and the Apothecary for potions ingredients. We’ll also stop to get you your own cauldrons...” Lily read from her list methodically.

“And we’ll go to the Pet Emporium and then we’ll get you brooms!” James cheered like a kid at Christmas. Lily wanted to chide him, but she was (nearly) just as excited as her husband and son.

“Okay,” Y/N said as she patiently patted her husband’s shoulder, urging him away from his best friend (and thus, a source of trouble). “why don’t you go with your mum and dad Harry, and Sirius and I will take Draco.”

“Wait.” Sirius barked dramatically. “Can we do the fun parts together?” 

“It’s all fun, Pad’s.” She chided.

Sirius grumbled but continued. “I mean the brooms and the pets. I bought my godson’s first broom – I’d like to buy him his first school broom too.” He stated with pride.

“And I’ve always wanted to carry on the tradition with my godson!” James said excitedly.

Draco laughed. “Aren’t mum and dad technically my godparents already?”

This earned him a gentle pat up the back of the head from Sirius. “Don’t talk back to your godfather.”

“Yes sir.” Draco said good humouredly and shared a fond eyeroll with Harry. 

“Okay. Why don’t we complete our checklists and then meet at Florean’s for ice cream before we do the fun stuff.” Lily relented.

Sirius and James cheered while Draco and Harry shared a high-five. 

“Onwards!” James declared. 

It was very important to Lily to get this experience with Harry, as well as for Draco to get this experience with Sirius and Y/N. 

Draco already lost the opportunity to experience this with his birth parents; he deserved this chance to make happy memories with his parents like Lily and James did at his age.

And she couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that had the war gone differently, she may have never gotten the chance to do this with her son. 

Remus and Regulus agreed to spend the day with Jasmine (Potter), Aurora (Black), Posie (Potter), Lyra (Black), and Leo & Stella (Black) at home for both sets of parents while they were off with the boys. Regulus grumbled and complained but also showed up to the playroom with an astronomical amount of craft supplies, while Remus was out-and-out giddy at the prospect of spending the day with his nieces and youngest nephew. 

Lily and James decided to let Harry choose which order they did their shopping in.

They began by getting him a cauldron and his potions supplies. James moaned and groaned the entire time, muttering about “Slytherin’s this” and “Snivellus that”, but Harry (the good lad he is) just assured his dad he wanted to get the boring bits out of the way first.

Then they went to get his books, which Lily was most excited about though James continued to whine. 

“Next year we should let Uncle Moony bring you to get your books, he’d be in heaven.” James said.

“Okay but only if mum can come too!” Lily called from somewhere else deep within the store. 

After they left the shop, Lily started trying to redistribute the bags so that they weighed roughly an even amount as they got heavy. She suddenly realised her son and husband were laughing at her. 

“What?” She spat in faux irritation.

“It’s like you forget you’re a witch.” James said as he looked at his wife’s confused face with unconditional love. 

James quickly cast a weightless charm on the shopping bags and shrunk them down to fit inside Lily’s tote bag.

“There ya go, love.” He said with a smack of a kiss on her cheek.

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the heat moving to her cheeks. Some habits were hard to break, she supposed. 

They then continued to Madame Malkin’s to purchase Harry some uniform robes. They bumped into Sirius, Y/N, and Draco whilst they were there, and James and Sirius spent the entire time pretending to be strangers to one another exchanging pleasantries.

“Ah, nice to meet you, good sir. First time?” Sirius asked in a deep register.

“Yes, yes. This is my first born, Harold Jameson Potter the Seventh. And you?” James responded in like.

“Naw, this ain’t ma first rodeo.” Sirius said, transitioning to a (terrible) Southern American accent. 

“Yippee ki-yay.” James returned.

The boys were giggling from their platforms as they were being fitted, causing Mrs. Malkin to shush them as Harry received a stray pin to the shoulder. 

Finally, the part everyone had been most excited about, was Ollivander’s. Lily couldn’t help but remember her poor muggle parent’s – dragging a petulant Petunia behind them – trying to be supportive of Lily even though they had no idea what anything meant.

When a witch or wizard get their wand – the hope is that the wand will remain with them throughout their life. The wand chooses it’s wix, and throughout the user’s life, they learn from the wand and the wand learns from them. 

A wand is nearly synonymous with a marriage: perhaps more. 

Lily chose James and James chose Lily – but both could function without the other. If they fell out of love tomorrow, they’d both find ways to move on.

But Lily’s relationship with her wand is her longest relationship of her entire life, and without it – she would feel naked. The wand provides her with protection, strength, knowledge, and power. Without it, she’s just a girl.

And today, she gets to watch her son as he finds the wand that will provide him protection, strength, knowledge, and power throughout his whole life. She felt her sinuses sting as the bell rung above the door.

“You okay, love?” James whispered into her ear as Harry eyed the rows and rows of boxes lining every wall.

Lily didn’t trust herself to speak, so she simply nodded and offered him a watery smile.

“Oh, my flower.” James said as he rubbed his wife’s back, but Lily didn’t miss the wetness of his own voice. She knew he was probably thinking about coming here with Effie and Monty at Harry’s age (and his near doppelgänger) to choose his own wand. His parents would have understood the significance of finding his first wand - how momentous this moment would be – just as Lily and James did now. 

“My, my, do we have another firs- oh!” Mr. Ollivander started as he poked his head out from the back room, interrupted by the scene in front him.

“Why...it can’t be...but, wow!” He cheered as he came around the register. 

“Introduce yourself, Haz.” Lily encouraged her son.

“I’m Harry P-”

“Potter, yes." Ollivander completed for Harry. "Of James Fleamont Potter who was matched with an 11-inch mahogany wand with a dragon heartstring around this time about twenty years ago. And Fleamont Hari Potter some thirty-eight years before that. My...”

“I never forget a customer, you see.” He clarified when Harry turned to his parents somewhat concernedly at this stranger’s familiarity.

“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Ollivander.” Lily said with a smile.

“Ah, and you, Miss Evan’s, or, Mrs. Potter, I suppose.” 

Without further ado, Ollivander started pulling boxes from the stacks, trying Harry on for size.

The first one nearly singed everyone’s eyebrows off and was quickly returned to its box.

“Temperamental, that was is. Hm,” Ollivander said mostly to himself as he carried on.

The second set off the sprinkler system above them and got sent back to its home as well.

Finally, a wand was handed to Harry (the wand) from the stack. An 11-inch holly wand with a phoenix feather core. Harry picked it up, and (quite beautiful, in Lily’s opinion) fireworks sprouted from its tip.

“An odd combination of wood and core – I’ve not seen many like it myself.” Ollivander admitted.

“Well, Haz is a bit of an odd guy.” James said as he ruffled his son’s hair.

“Dad!” Harry screeched as the two began to roughhouse.

“Okay, oi, this store is not big enough. Boys!” Lily reprimanded.

The trio finished up their shopping and headed towards Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream parlour. Sirius, Y/N, and Draco were already seated, which Sirius was very smug about.

“Must be hard being second best at everything, Potter.” He called out to James. This resulted in James leaping over the barrier of the parlour’s patio seating area and landing on Sirius. Y/N had her face in her hands and Draco was (unsuccessfully) trying to smother his laughter. 

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake.” Lily grumbled as she shot an auguamenti at the two boys men.

The two men shot apart like cats in an alleyway after someone threw something at them for howling in the middle of the night. 

“Go get your wives and sons ice cream.” Lily barked at them.

“Yes ma’am.” Sirius and James responded, each bringing their first two finger to their forehead and offering a salute before walking marching inside. 

After their quick treat, where Draco and Harry compared their wands and showed each other all that they had bought, they carried on to the ‘fun stuff’. 

“Have you thought at all about what kind of pet you’d like, Draco?” Y/N asked the boy.

Draco appeared to consider something before a blush permeated his cheekbones. 

“I think...I think I’d like a cat; like my mum had.” He admitted quietly.

Sirius offered a sad but delighted sigh at his son and Y/N pulled him into an embrace.

Narcissa Malfoy attended her first year with the company of a regal white long-haired half kneazle. That cat (monstrosity, if you asked Sirius) was her most prized possession for years to come after that. 

“That sounds like a beautiful choice, my love.” Y/N offered as they made their way to Magical Menagerie. 

There was a pure white long-haired kneazle cross available that Sirius was positive Draco would beeline for. 

However, surprising everyone, Draco found a small tortoiseshell kitten with a missing eye. “This one!” He proclaimed.

And so, it was.

He named her Larissa – after one of Neptune’s moons, and in the same vein as his mum’s name Narcissa.

Harry insisted on getting an owl so he could “race them with his new broom.” He landed on a beautiful snowy owl with piercing yellow eyes. Lily found her a little off-putting; “no owl should look like they know so much” she had said.

To name her, Harry decided to flip open to a random page of one of his textbooks. Harry named her Hedwig, which he found on page 158 in Bathilda Bagshot’s book “A History of Magic”.

Y/N and Lily found a bench near Broomstix and watched as the four boys walked (skipped) into the store, speaking over top of one another in their excitement. 

“God we’re so lucky.” Y/N said quietly.

Lily felt like her heart was a well that was just overflowing with love.

“We really are.” She agreed. 

@ttulipwritezz

#marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #marauders come back be here #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #sirius black x reader #Sirius black x you #Jily #james potter x lily evans #James Potter x lily evans #marauders fix it #diagon alley #ask elle

[mordredisacoolname]

LA WINKS CHARACTERS: SNEAKING UP THEIR WINDOW

MALE READER

Characters: Bloom Aisha Stella Musa Riven Sky Beatrix Silva Dane

CW: mention of spicy times, age gap in Silva's part (reader is over 18)

Note: I've only watched season 1 so I'll add more characters later on

BLOOM- she just started drifting to sleep when she heard light tapping on her window. Opening her eyes she saw you signing for her to open the window. When you slid in you laughed at her surprised look. "What are you doing here?" She had asked, but you just smile and kiss her.

Bloom will be nervous at first, but than she'll ease up and will drag you to her bed to talk, not risking anything else to not wake up Aisha.

AISHA- she was doing her homework, quietly to not wake up Bloom who was already sleeping when she noticed you waving outside the window. She instantly started worrying as she thought something happened. She opened the window letting you in "did something happen? Are you ok?"

Reassuring her everything is fine and you just wanted to see her, she'll tell you how irresponsible you are and try to shoo you away. You will eventually surrender and leave, but not before teasing her and kissing her goodbye.

STELLA- she was getting ready to sleep when she heard a tapping on the window. Turning her head towards it she saw you waving at her. She smirks, going to the window and letting you in. "Hey handsome" she said and kisses you deeply, feeling your hands wrap around her waist.

She has no problem with it and is happy you came. She'll invite you to bed, sitting on top of you. You'll have to be quiet, no matter what you do, but you do have your privacy as the other girls all sleep in other bedrooms.

MUSA- she already sensed you coming up, so she opened the window and sat back down on her bed, taking her headphones off. You slid to the room and saw her smiling at you. "Hey" you said and hurried to jump on her taking her head in your hands and kissing her. "Hey yourself" she said drawing you closer to her.

She likes this hour of night, when everyone is asleep and she has her peace and quiet. But sometimes it gets lonely, and she enjoys your company, laying together, making out, and other stuff.

RIVEN- most of the time he's snicking to you, but this time you were the one climbing through his window. You texted him to open it a few minutes before, and now he was laying in his stomach facing the other side, smoking a joint (sky was finally somewhere else, so he could smoke in peace). You went up to the bed climbing up, and squishing him with your whole weight. "Ugh Jesus" he complained while you held his wrist and took a puff, kissing his neck in the process.

You'll joke around and smoke for a bit, deciding to have fun a little bit, starting with shotguns and kissing, and than continuing your activities.

SKY- opening the window he harshly whisper asked you what are you doing here. When you told him you wanted to hang he said "wait for me outside". Pulling his shoes on he hurried down to you and took you by the hand to a less visible place.

He likes sticking out with you but worries that someone will see you coming to his room, so you just go outside to a more private place and hang there, when he is visibly more relaxed.

BEATRIX- she was reading a spells book when she saw you gesturing for her to open the window. She put the book aside and opened the window. Smirking, she didn't let you in yet "did you want something?" She asked. "Come on let me in" you pleaded. When you were both inside you hoped on her bed, lying on your back with your hands behind your head. She claimed on top of you and started kissing you.

She loves when you snick inside her dorm and distract her, making her worries go away and just have fun.

SILVA- he was working on taking his gear off when he saw you climbing up to his window. With a shocked expression he opened the window and helped you gat inside. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked stunned "just want to hang with you" you said sweetly and came up to him wrapping your hands around him kissing him deeply. "And what you just decided to climb up my window and ignore the door?" He said amused between kisses. "I didn't want Farah or Ben seeing me, it's only my second year teaching here and as far as I remember they didn't like me very much as a student"

You continued making out eventually getting to bed to do more than just kissing.

DANE- he gaped in surprise when he saw you at his window. Letting you in he quietly closed his door not to wake up his roommate. "Hey-" he didn't finish his sentence as you grabbed his face kissing him. "Hey" you said when you parted from him. He smiled and grabbed your waist, telling you it is a pleasant surprise while you were dragging him to his bed.

You didn't snick up to his room often, but when you did he enjoyed every moment. Sometimes you just sat together rumbling about random stuff, and sometimes you did more. It really depends on both of your moods.

#male reader #male reader insert #x male reader #fate: the winx saga #bloom x reader #aisha x reader #stella x reader #musa x reader #riven x reader #sky x reader #beatrix x reader #dane x reader #saul silva x reader #winx club

[lucidlivi]

Chosen For Pleasure (VII)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

Tag List: @ladysparkles78 @suckitands33 @little-x-wolf @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @lessons-of-red @jamerlynn @deans-baby-momma @willow-sages @ritz-hell-hotel @perpetualabsurdity @mhessellund @itzabbyxx @chriszgirl92 @abbybarnesstuff @larrem88 @commonsenseishard (we are growing bigger and bigger! if you would like to be added to the growing list, please send me an ask or a message so I can keep track better! xoxo)

I’m making this part extra long as appreciation for all the love you’ve shown me and this story, (over 100 followers already, over 100 reblogs.. that’s crazy!) it will also help move the story along…I’m so sorry for this…. ya’ll ain’t ready!

“call me as soon as you land so I know you made it safely.” Stella says giving me one last hug.

“I will.” I said squeezing her.

I was boarding my flight to California to see my mom. I thought that Jensen would have at least said goodbye, but he was really busy and I understood that. It wasn’t a terribly long flight to Santa Cruz, I kept my mind occupied with a book. As soon as I got off the plane I saw a familiar face waiting for me. I smiled dropping my bag and ran to hug my mother.

“look at you, you look so different.” my mom said placing a hand to my cheek.

“mom it hasn’t been that long.” I laughed.

“I know, I just mean you look happier, you’re glowing different.” she smiles.

I returned her grin grabbing my stuff and following her to the car.

“Richard is so excited to meet you.”

“you look happier too mom.”

I pulled out my phone to text Stella as I had promised. I furrowed my eyebrows seeing I had a missed called from Jensen. I quickly dialed him.

“thought you forgot about me for some surfer dude already.” He joked as he answered.

“a surfer dude? nah that’s not really my type, I prefer the uptight actors turned businessmen.” I shot back.

“woah woah I am not uptight.”

“just a little.”

“not at all.” He defended.

“whatever you say Ackles.”

there was a moment of silence.

“I uh wanted to tell you to have a good time with your mom, I meant to call but I’ve been trying to negotiate this deal for a new property but uh she’s not biting.”

“she?” I said hesitantly.

“the seller, she’s kind of stubborn, reminds me of someone else I know.”

“I am not stubborn.” I defended quickly.

“just a little.” He laughs mocking me from just seconds earlier.

“okay maybe a little.” I laughed.

His laughter grew too.

“but I can admit my flaws.” I huffed.

“yeah I think I’ll save that conversation for another time, but hey I gotta go, meeting in five minutes.”

“Jensen?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks”

“Say hi to your mom for me.” He said before hanging up the phone.

I could feel the smile on my face get just a bit bigger. He was trying.

Before I knew it we were pulling in to the driveway of my mom’s house. A man stood there waving at me. I watched my mom hop out wrapping her arms around Richard. He leaned down kissing her lips. I was really happy for her. I got out of the car walking to him.

“I’m so happy to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you, I’m Richard.” He said pulling me in for a hug.

I was nine when my father passed, I remembered him fondly. He was warm and kind. Richard kind of reminds me of him. I could tell I was going to like him. Once I got settled we had dinner, my mom and Richard were telling me the story of how they met. They looked so happy. So in love.

I thought back to Jensen. I wasn’t sure where we stood, we’re we dating, we’re we truly just friends with benefits?I was trying to be patient like Jared said but it was really hard when I felt like he was holding a lot back. I found the more I was with him, the harder it was getting to stay away. I was falling in love with him, and that scared the hell out of me.

Nightfall had come quickly. I said goodnight to my mom and Richard, settling down for the night. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jensen. I pulled out my phone sending him a text.

:california is boring without you… but lately everywhere is boring with you.

I bit my lip waiting for a reply. When it didn’t come right away I started to overthink. Was I getting too close? Was that too clingy? I saw the chat bubbles pop up as he typed a reply.

:having dinner with the seller tonight, hoping to finish deal.

:oh, like just you and her?

:don’t worry about it.

I sighed setting my phone on the night stand. Once again he pushes away when I try to get close. My phone buzzed on the side table prompting me to pick it up. I saw it was Jensen calling. I didn’t bother to answer. He told me not to worry, so I wasn’t.

****************************************************

I awoke to the warm California sun shining in to my eyes. I checked my phone seeing three missed calls from Jensen. I sighed about to redial him when my mom burst in to the room.

“get dressed, we’re going to the country club for breakfast, they have the best mimosas you’ve ever tasted!”

I laughed at her antics.

Jensen could wait. I needed a drink.

I threw on a simple sundress meeting my mom in the car. I took in the beautiful sights as she drove. I had never been to a country club before, but this place was pretty nice. We sat down ordering two mimosas.

“so, tell me about this guy.” my mom smiled sipping her drink.

Of course she wanted to talk about Jensen.

“what do you want to know?” I asked taking large gulps of mine.

Damn these were good.

“I don’t know, everything.”

I scoffed choking back a laugh. So would I.

“Uh there’s not much to know, he’s kind of closed off.” I said before chewing my bottom lip.

“what do you mean darling?”

“I mean, it’s complicated mama, one minute everything’s great and the next he shuts down. It’s like he’s afraid of me getting too close, so he pushes me away.”

I sighed chugging the rest of my drink. I definitely needed this.

“maybe he is, did I ever tell you that your dad was engaged when I met him?”

“no, what happened!?”

“long story short she ended up cheating on him, he was broken, he couldn’t trust anyone, not even me. It took awhile to break down his walls, but I knew your dad was special, so I kept trying. If you think this Jensen is worth it keep trying.”

I was quiet as I took in her words.

“I think I’m going to need another one of these.” I laughed holding up my empty glass.

A waiter brought me another mimosa. I took a big sip pulling out my phone to call Jensen back. Suddenly a text came through making me choke on my drink.

:might want to go easy on those mimosas, don’t want a repeat of last time you drank.

“holy shit.”

“what’s a matter honey?”

“It’s Jensen, he’s here.” I choked.

At my words Jensen walked up in his usual suit and tie attire.

“what? how?” I asked sitting my drink down.

I could see my mom smirk as she looked up at him.

“Ma’am it’s a pleasure to meet you, Jensen Ackles.” he said shaking my mother’s hand.

“nice to meet you.” she said.

she looked between me and Jensen.

“I’ll give you a minute.”

I watched her walk away before turning to him.

“what are you doing here?” I asked picking up my drink again sipping it.

“you didn’t answer my calls, I thought something happened to you.”

“no Jensen that was called me ignoring you.” I said rolling my eyes.

“okay I deserved that.”

“how was your dinner?” I sassed.

“very productive and professional, I closed the deal.” He said laughing at my jealousy.

“well then congratulations I guess.”

“and I’m here to take you out to celebrate.”

“wait what?”

“just come with me, I promise you won’t regret it.” He said offering his hand.

“where too?”

“It’s a surprise.” He laughed.

“I think I met my quota on surprises. Plus I can’t just leave my mom.” I spoke.

“of course you can…” she said popping up out of nowhere.

“of course you can.” Jensen repeated once again extending his hand.

I looked between him and my mother heaving a sigh as I grabbed his hand.

“I promise to have her back before dinner.” Jensen said winking at my mom.

He led me out to a rental car, I was surprised to see Cole waiting with the door open.

“you brought Cole too?” I asked giving Cole a smile.

“Ms. (L/N).” He said nodding his head as I climbed in the backseat.

“I mean he does work for me.” Jensen laughed.

“Poor Cole.” I smirked as Jensen rolled his eyes at my teasing.

Cole started to drive. It was quiet as Jensen rested a hand on my knee. I can’t believe he came all this way to see me.

“Jensen why did you come here?” I asked biting my lip.

“Ouch you’re not happy to see me? Is it the surfer dude? It is isn’t it?” He jokes turning towards me.

“you know I’m always happy to see you, I’m just surprised is all.”

“I told you to celebrate.” He said not meeting my eyes.

“you came all this way to celebrate.?” I asked not believing him.

“yeah, a good thing happened to me and I wanted to share that with you.” He said simply.

I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest.

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever told me.” I said smiling.

“Yeah well don’t get used to it.” He smirked.

I playfully slapped his chest. I looked out the window as the car stopped.

“a dock?” I questioned.

“come on.” He smiled pulling me out of the car.

I saw a big yacht docked in the water.

“we’re going on that?” I asked smiling.

“yep.” He said pulling me onboard.

He pulled me on deck letting me look around. I had never been on a boat before so this was a new experience for me. Jensen disappeared down in the cabin, trading his suit and tie for just a pair of board shorts.

I swallowed looking at his toned chest. I had seen him naked already but somehow it still always got me flustered. He smirked at me before going to the wheel.

“wait you’re sailing this thing? I laughed coming to stand beside him.

“yep, and you’re going to help me.” He smiled starting to depart from the dock.

“I don’t think you want me to help, I mean do you want to crash?” I joked.

“It’s okay, it’s a private bay, can’t crash into the water.” He said.

The boat picked up speed as he sailed further and further into the bay. I felt so at peace as the wind blew through my hair. I couldn’t fight the smile that I donned. I noticed Jensen watching me intently.

“come on, you’re taking the wheel.” Jensen said pulling me in front of him.

“no I can’t.” I laughed nervously.

“I got you don’t worry.” He said placing a soft kiss to my neck.

He put his hands on top of mine, showing me how to sail the ship.

“Jensen don’t let go.” I laughed.

“I have too, you’ll be fine.”

Jensen moved his hands settling them around my waist as he held me against him.

“Oh my gosh I’m doing it!”

He laughed pecking my cheek. He took the wheel again slowing the boat to a stop. I walked to the edge looking at the beautifully calm water. Jensen came to my side, climbing over the railing and standing over the edge.

“what are you doing?”

“swimming.” He said jumping off in to the water below.

He submerged only for a second before popping back up.

“well what are you waiting for?” He asked calling up to me.

“you’re crazy.” I yelled.

“please for me?” He called smiling.

I bit my lip, finally letting my secret slip.

“don’t laugh, but I can’t swim.” I said my cheeks heating up with embarrassment.

He didn’t laugh.

“Don’t worry I got you.” He said for the second time today.

I sighed shaking my head before pulling my sundress over my head so I was just in my bra and underwear. I nervously looked at the water.

Was I really doing this?

I closed my eyes jumping in feet first. In an instant my body was engulfed in the cool water. I panicked momentarily before I felt warm hands go to my waist. Jensen smiled as he pulled me towards him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as we floated in the water.

“see you’re okay.” He said holding me up.

“you’re crazy.” I laughed my hands gripping his broad shoulders.

“Me? You’re the one jumping in to the ocean when you don’t know how to swim.” He joked giving me a wink.

“I find that my logic usually goes out the window with you Mr. Ackles.” I whispered.

“is this more?” He asked bringing a hand up to cup my cheek.

“huh?”

“At Jared’s you told me that you needed more, is this more?” He furrowed his eyebrows like he was really concerned what my answer would be.

I thought back to that day. I didn’t think he was really listening to me, but it turns out I was very wrong.

“so much more.” I smiled wrapping my arms around him and hugging him.

I pulled back to see him staring at me.

“what is it?” I asked feeling a blush come to my cheeks.

“I just like seeing you smile.” He whispered looking in my eyes.

I swallowed nervously as his gaze shifted between my eyes and my lips. He leaned in resting his forehead against mine. I could hear his breathing become shaky. He gulped as he moved his lips a little closer. I parted mine waiting and desperate for the contact but he quickly pulled away looking embarrassed.

“I’m sorry I can’t, just not right now.” He said turning his face away from me.

I grabbed his chin quickly making him face me again.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.” I said running a hand across the back of his neck.

I could see behind his eyes that someone really hurt him, it killed me to not know.

“what was her name?” I asked hesitantly.

He didn’t answer just swallowed nervously.

“who did this to you? who made you feel like this?” I asked getting emotional.

“It’s in the past now. Come on it’s getting late, we should start heading back. He said swimming over to the ladder at the side of the boat.

He helped me on, pushing me up so I could pull myself out of the water. He pulled himself up with ease going back to the wheel. I sighed pulling my sundress back on. Jensen was silent as he sailed us back to the dock. I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around him, leaving a trail of kisses on his back up to his neck. Once we docked the boat Jensen turned around in my arms pulling me in to a bone crushing hug.

We stood there a minute in each others embrace.

“thank you for this, and for not making fun of my inability to swim.” I said offering him a smile.

He chuckled a little. He opened his mouth to reply but his phone ringing caught him off guard. He quickly answered, eyebrows furrowing with worry at whoever was talking.

“yeah, okay I’ll be right there.” He spoke before hanging up.

“everything okay?” I asked concerned.

“yeah just something came up at work.” He said grabbing my hand.

“come on Cole can drop you back at your moms house.”

****************************************************

“are you sure you can’t stay one more day sweetheart?” my mom asked as she hugged me for what seemed like the millionth time.

“I wish I could mama.” I said giving her a kiss on her cheek.

I pulled away wrapping my arms around Richard.

“take care of her for me won’t you?” I whispered in his ear.

“of course darling.”

I gave my mother one last hug before boarding my plane. It was another quiet plane ride. I was exhausted and just ready to be home. I was surprised to find Cole standing in the airport holding a sign with my name on it.

“did you think I wouldn’t recognize you Cole?” I asked laughing.

“Mr. Ackles requests your presence at his estate.” Cole said taking my bag from me and leading me out to his car.

“Is everything okay, what’s going on?” I asked nervously.

“I’m afraid I can’t discuss anything Ms. (L/N).”

“Is Jensen okay?” I panicked.

“He’s a little preoccupied I’m afraid.”

I got sick with nerves as we drove to his house. Everything seemed fine when he left. I jumped out of the car before Cole could bring it to a complete stop, running inside.

“Jensen?” I called.

I was relieved to see him sitting on the stairs, hunched over with something in his lap. I walked over closer to him.

“Jensen?” I said placing a hand on his arm.

He quickly shrugged it off, standing up and glaring at me.

“what’s going on?”

“you tell me.” He growled dropping a newspaper at my feet.

I picked it up, shocked to see Jensen and I on the front page. We were standing on the yacht wrapped up in each other. It wasn’t just that but under the picture was my name printed clearly.

“so the paparazzi caught us..?” I asked trying to understand the situation.

“It was a private bay they shouldn’t have been able to, unless of course someone tipped them off.” He said glaring at me.

Did he seriously think I would do something like that?

“Jensen you can’t be serious, I didn’t even know where we were going how could I have possibly done that?” I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

“I don’t know (y/n) how did they get all that information in the paper huh? How did they know I introduced you to the cast? How did they know I won’t kiss you huh? How did they know about our arrangement? HOW DID THEY KNOW?” He yelled in my face.

I shrunk back as he raised his voice. I never did well with people raising their voice at me, but when he did it, it felt like knives going into my chest.

“I don’t know but I didn’t say anything Jensen I swear.” I pleaded, tears running down my cheeks.

“God I’m so stupid. You’re just like her. Fuck.” Jensen growls grabbing a vase of flowers angrily hurling it against the wall.

The vase shatters on impact making me jump.

“Jensen please you have to believe me.” I begged reaching my hand out but he stopped me.

“you’re just like her.” He said the hurt evident in his eyes.

“Jensen I have no clue what you’re talking about because you don’t tell me ANYTHING. I’ve tried to be understanding but this is crazy. I would never sell you out to some sleazy journalist.” I yelled feeling my emotions on overload.

“I think you should leave.” He said sitting back on the stairs and putting his head in his hands.

I could feel my heart breaking.

“I’m falling in love with you.” I whispered desperately wiping some tears that fell.

He glances up at me quickly before glancing back down.

“well you shouldn’t, this was never a relationship.” He huffed.

“If I walk out that door I’m not coming back.” I said taking a shaky breath, the tears flowing like a waterfall.

He didn’t respond, just continued to stare at the floor. So I did the last thing I wanted to do.

I left.

I left without another word, without looking back.

I left.

Author Note:

I’m so sorry for breaking your heart! Butttt we’re getting a glance in to why Jensen is the way he is! We ain’t done yet so please stick around for more! And as always if you’re enjoying please let me know with a heart, reblog, comment or a follow!

xoxoxo

Part (VIII)

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