#the fact that if he messes up he causes a whole bunch of people to lose stresses him out

[russetfoxfur]

mcyt is NOT beating the criminal allegations

- mumbo did season eight which. ah. produced the wonderful quote: "My parents are still alive... but that can be changed."

- cub eats people

- bad is a cannibal. this is different from eating people, according to my irl. do i want to know

- fit was on 2b2t

- wilbur blew up a country and killed a buncha people

- phil blew up that country too (apparently)

- scar. ah. scar did monopoly mountain and things went downhill from there

- dont even get me started on gem. she started the whole secret life apocalypse. she killed etho at least sixteen times. she is on tumblr which means tango is scared of her AS HE SHOULD BE

- sausage had that whole esmp s1 evil thing. classifying this as sausage because i watched an episode of gem's where he appeared and nothing else and don't actually watch esmp except through osmosis

- didnt joe hills kill a bunch of dogs in s7

- etho ALSO kills people but BADLY (scar boogie kill)

- dream

- *eyeing zedaph's chamber suspiciously* this violates AT LEAST one scientific law or something

- grian. grian my beloved. why are you like this

- jaiden decimated the environment of teyvat

- see lizzie is like her husband. unhinged. shes just bad at surviving so no one gets to see it

- jimmy is like lizzie but more popular for it

- tango is a war criminal but he also makes funny sounds while he commits crimes so i think that negates the whole crimes thing

- while we're at it. all the lifers are criminals EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ

- xisuma boils chicken and eats kiwi skin. worst offense on this list by far

- gem gets a second place on this list because why not. she deserves it

- bdubs bites ankles. probably

- martyn brought the watchers to the life smp which is bad in and of itself. also the Assigned Criminal At Life Series thing

- cherrifire gets an honorary spot on this list mostly because she SHOULD be able to bite ankles. due to aforementioned martyn

anyways please tag w other crimes our blorbos have commited. cheers <3

EDIT: I will be adding more crimes now

- keralis was a capitalist in s7 who bought. rotten flesh. for 128 diamonds. truly exemplifying a billionaire there. dont worry dont worry. hes not a capitalist anymore....but he was once

- pearl poisons people and then has her dogs bite you. reasonable

- cleo does arson. she also kills people. but she does this a lot so it also negates the crimes

- don't mess with forgelabs

- ren has become a dictator at least twice. likes bloodshed. also treebark counts for all the anguish it causes everyone. also also ACALS (assigned criminal at life series)

ALSO if anyone is going to yell at me for fit being on 2b2t. i do not watch him. he is only here because my mcyt irls go insane about him. like all the time. in fact i don't watch qsmp or dsmp but theyre popular enough i know a bit about them. <3

#mumbo jumbo #cubfan135 #badboyhalo #fitmc #wilbur soot #philza #goodtimeswithscar #geminitay #mythicalsausage #joe hills #ethoslab #zedaph #grian #jaiden animations #lizzie ldshadowlady #jimmy solidarity #xisumavoid #bdouble0100 #martyn itlw #cherrifire #sorry for tag spam btw #hermit things #mcyter things #lifer things

[nonexistent-introvert]

Anomaly

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x f!reader

Word Count: 2k

Content: angst, idrk what’s gg on either, fights, you’re a Spider-Man too

A/N: post ATSV dump, I fell into the black hole known as Miguel O’Hara, I just needed to write this so it’s probably a mess 😵‍💫 I’m also posting this on my phone so- grammarly isn’t here to save me

Miguel stared at the footage of the new spiderman on his various screens. An headache making him all the more annoyed. There was barely any information on this person, the only thing he knew about them was the fact that they were an anomaly. Someone who wasn’t supposed to become a spiderman.

“Miguel! We brought them in.” Jess called out to him. Miguel turned his head, his eyes stared at the spiderman that has been causing him an headache for the past week as his platform descended.

The sound of machinery filled the place. There was an palpable tension in the air but what he didn’t expect was the sound of webs. His spidey senses tingled but it was already too late as you had swung yourself onto the platform. Gasps erupted from below, no one has ever dared to do that. “What do you think you’re doing?” Miguel spoke, authority in his voice. Mildly taken aback that you were able to act faster than his spidey senses could alert him. “You really should do something better with this.” You gestured to the platform that the both of you were standing on that was still in the process of descending. Your eyes scanned the screens before you, “If this is your dimension, technology is definitely much more advanced than… this.” You pointed out, mentioning the futuristic dimension the headquarters was located at. The rate of the machinery descending was too slow for anyone’s liking.

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyance and anger filling him. “Just- who exactly are you?” He seethed. “Shouldn’t you know that? Judging by all this.” Your fingers danced across the screens with no care in the world, watching the various footages of you. Miguel slapped your hands away from the screens, “Take your mask off.” He raised his voice, a bunch of the spiderman shuddered in fear. You simply laughed, leaning back. “You haven’t even introduced yourself.” Miguel’s blood was boiling by now, “I’m Miguel O’Hara” Lyla was on one of the screens, watching the interaction with an amused look. It has been decades since anyone eveen dared challenge the stoic and unfunny spiderman.

“Wasn’t so hard was it?” You grinned, introducing your name to him. He froze at your name, quickly recovering his composure, there were plenty of people out there with the same name.

You pulled out a headpiece and Miguel watched as the nanotech retract to reveal a familiar face. A charming smile on your face while he just stared in disbelief.

“Everyone, out.” He ordered. Despite a few protests, everyone left. “Oh, am I that special?” You teased, waving to the spidermen who were leaving. Miguel couldn’t help but stare, you weren’t suppose to be here, he wasn’t supposed to see you ever again. However, you seem totally oblivious to his inner turmoil.

When you looked at him again, the playful look in your eye faltered. You pursed your lips, staring at the platform you were standing on. “Are you really-” Miguel started, his eyes softening.

“In the flesh. You got quite the set up here.” You remarked. Miguel shook his head, turning away from you. “I caused this. I dragged you into this mess.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I figured this out on my own.” You gestured to the suit you were wearing. “Because I saved you! Because I couldn’t bring myself to let you die. It is the whole reason you’re standing here as an anomaly!” Miguel shouted, he shouldn’t have interfered. He was supposed to minimise contact with anyone from other dimensions, he let himself get too close to you.

==================================

Every thought in Miguel’s head screamed at him to stop returning to you. He was supposed to be in his office at the headquarters, making sure that the multiverse is stable. However, he kept finding excuses after excuses to return to your dimension. To see you again, to laugh and talk to you.

“Oh you’re back.” You greeted upon returning to your home, putting your work bag down. Miguel smiled at you, “Missed you.” He admitted with a soft smile as he let you fall into his arms. You knew Miguel was lying to you, lying to you that he was a scientist at Alchemax. Even if it was once his job, you knew it wasn’t anymore. The long and sudden disappearances, he was practically a ghost and a figment of your imagination. While you lied in his embrace and listened to his voice, you couldn’t bring yourself to question him about it.

“Is there something wrong?” Miguel asked, noticing how you kept spacing out. Your usual cheery and playful tone missing. “I-” You stirred in his arms. “You’re not really a scientist at Alchemax are you?” Miguel kept his face blank, “Why?” he should have known better to underestimate you, to think that you would believe in the white lie he told you.

You pulled yourself away from him. “Never mind” you brushed your own doubt off, you didn’t want to ruin anything. Miguel tightened his hold on you, to stop you from distancing yourself, both metaphorically and literally. “I’m not.” He confessed. His eyes scanning yours for a reaction.

The watch that he wore started beeping. You sighed, “You’re not from around here” Finally putting the pieces together. “I’m sorry amor.” He apologised, rushing off.

If Miguel knew that would be the last time he saw you. He would have let the world burn just to spend the time with you.

“No!” He exclaimed. The flames engulfed the building and everything in it. The same building he had just left you in, the building that he visited everytime to see you, the building that was your home. Miguel eyes scanned the civilians that were evacuated from the building for you to no avail. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, one clear goal in mind, that he needed to find you. The voices of the civilians panicking, praying for their loved ones filled his ears, then he picked up on the sound of your name. He cursed when they said that you had ran back in to help others.

The building collapsed on itself, Miguel ignored everything. The rubble that was falling only increased his anxiety. He almost cried when he saw you unconscious on the floor.

“Second and third degree burns. Over-inhalation of smoke.” Lyla listed. He was bent over your body, doing anything he could. “There isn’t much hope.” Lyla ended, Miguel would have screamed at her if he wasn’t so focused on rescuriating you.

“No,no,no!” He chanted, his fingers finding your weak pulse. Miguel was at a loss, he couldn’t lose you. “Lyla. Give me the drug.” Lyla eyes widened, “She’s collateral damage Miguel. Saving her will cause the multiverse to-“ “I know that!” Miguel screamed, he knew he was putting everything on the line by saving you. However he couldn’t bring himself to just walk away, to just let you die.

Miguel continued to watch you from afar after he saved you with the drug. He watched as you were accompanied to the hospital and made sure that your condition was stable. Then he made the vow to himself.

The vow that he will no longer break any of the rules he had set for himself. He will not let anyone of a different dimension close to him, he will not risk the multiverse. Miguel O’Hara will not see you again no matter what happens.

He should have known that your stubborn personality would have brought you here to him.

==============

“Being a Spider-Man means people close to you will die. It’s a curse and a responsibility.” Miguel told you. You scoffed at him, “I’m not new to this. I went for so long without you ever noticing my existence. Even when you did, you never knew my identity.” Miguel ran his hands through his hair, “Lyla, check up on what’s her canon event.” “On it!” Lyla chirped. You shook your head, “about that. I think I got lucky.” Miguel glared at you, his mouth opened to scold you for what you just uttered.

“It has already happened. Her canon event has already occured.” Lyla announced. You nodded with your hands on your hips. “What?” Miguel eyes widened.

“My canon event was losing you.” You announced . Miguel’s jaw dropped, that was the reason why he couldn’t track your story, because it had already happened. “I’m lucky because I didn’t lose you for good it seems.” You pointed at him.

“You could have lived a perfectly normal life.” Miguel’s voice became significantly softer. “I would have been dead.” You pointed out. “If you never met me, you could have led a simple life without having to put yourself in danger. Maybe even a family.” The thought of you having a family brought a bittersweet taste to his mouth. You would be a fantastic mother but the thought of you being with someone else was a reality he didn’t want to hear about.

“My life wouldn’t be complete without you.” Miguel stood up to his full height. “You don’t know that.” He snapped.

“We were a mistake. We never should have even met.” Miguel breathed.

Those words hung in the air, suffocating the both of you. You put your hands on your hips, squaring your shoulders and clenching your jaw. You looked at the costume and the symbol you wore on your chest. “The whole reason I’m here is because I’m an anomaly right?” You started. Miguel kept quiet, pressing on the various screens. “Then right your mistakes Miguel. Get rid of me, or whatever you do to anomalies.” You challenged, stepping closer to him.

Miguel remained silent with his back facing you. His fists were clenched on the counter. Miguel was the whole reason you even became a spiderman. You studied quantum physics, tried your very best to be able to come up with something so that you could see him again. Then you figured out a way to become like him, to save lives. It was all to see him again. However, meeting him now. It was a dream come true but why did it seem more like a nightmare?

“Lyla, send her home.” Miguel muttered. “After all the trouble?” Lyla asked, she knew how many nights Miguel had spent just tracking and studying you, to understand your timeline and story. You stepped forward, putting your hand on his shoulder. Miguel was quick enough to turn around, one touch from you and he would never let you go again. “So you’re just going to live the rest of your life being guilty that you dragged me into being spiderman while upholding whatever stupid promise you made about not seeing me again?” You were on the verge of tears, after everything and Miguel didn’t even want to see you. “Yes. I will accept you are spiderman but I will not allow myself to indulge in your company again. I will not repeat my mistake.”

“Mistake of what?” You asked exasperatedly, closing your eyes to calm yourself down. You will not shed tears in front of him. Anger burned in Miguel’s eyes, “I almost caused you to die! You were suppose to die in that fire and it would be because I was there, because you are someone close to me. I will not allow that to happen. Then, you became spiderman too, putting yourself out there in danger and endangering everyone you care about. You don’t understand what you had gotten yourself into.” Miguel emphasised.

“I’m going to die no matter what Miguel! I’m not immortal. I will die in that fire regardless if I met you or not. I could have died after you left me regardless if I had become Spider-Man. I could die tomorrow for all I know!” You tried to knock some logic into Miguel.

Silence fell between the both of you. You shifted your weight from one foot to another,chuckling lightly. “For a Spider-Man, you are a coward, Miguel O’Hara.” You spat.

“There is no happily ever after for us, don’t you get it? Let’s just cut our losses here, let’s not tempt fate.” Miguel insisted, a pained look on his face. You smiled sadly at him, “It was nice seeing you O’Hara.” He stared as you walked off his platform.

“I did miss you, I will miss you.” Miguel admitted, finally getting it off his chest.

“Not enough apparently.”

You waved, turning your back against him and putting your mask back on.

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o’hara x you

[ferris-the-wheel]

Posted 3/8/24

Fyodor Dostoevsky Relationship Headcanons

: ̗̀➛ Fyodor x gn!reader

A/N: This was pretty fun to make and I kinda wanna do this with more BSD characters. Who am I kidding- I'm totally doing this with other BSD characters.

: ̗̀➛ Not proofread, may be some mistakes.

TW: Semi-controlling behavior (but not super overbearing???)

⁂ Pretty much no one knows you exist, not even anyone in the Decay of Angels.

⁂ That's because he doesn't want to risk you getting taken hostage or killed by his enemies (which he has a lot of, obviously). He also doesn't trust the DOA members not to try to use you to get the upper hand against him.

⁂ You're one of his two weaknesses and he doesn't want anyone to exploit that fact.

⁂ One of his plans for preventing anyone from finding out about you is that he would buy a comfortable house for you to live in in a less populated area outside of the city, but you declined. You insisted that since no one even knew that you were connected to each other, you could live in the city.

⁂ He reluctantly agreed but made sure to install a bunch of security cameras to the place you were living at in the city, as well as teaching you how to use a variety of types of guns.

⁂ Whenever he's just sitting around (usually while his plans are unfolding and causing chaos), he'll just be eager to get back home to you. He would also plan out the whole evening in his head, knowing how it would go before it was even past noon.

⁂ While normally, the only side of himself that he let's people see is that he's soulless and doesn't care about anything. However, you know that this isn't exactly the case. While yes, he does act like that, he shows a different side, only around you.

⁂ He still has a certain coldness to him (personality wise as well as being ice cold to the touch lol), but he's nicer toward you than he is to anyone else. Of course, that's not to say that he's a complete angel. He's very protective of you if you couldn't tell so he tends to ask where you're going when you go out and may follow you to make sure that you're safe.

⁂ He can be a bit of a control freak, but that's kind of something that you have to put up with. For example, if he wants something from you, such as a kiss, he will do pretty much anything to get it (in cases where you don't want to or aren't in the mood). He would be a bit manipulative/deceptive with his methods, but nothing like downright abusive or anything. He tries to dial it down when something really bothers you, though.

⁂ He can be... just a bit jealous (let's be real, he can be pretty damn jealous). He doesn't see why you waste your attention on other less competent, boring people, but he doesn't force you not to hang out with anyone.

⁂ He does let you have friends and connections, he just warns you not to tell them about him. He does very extensive background checks on the people you hang out with, just to make sure they aren't governments agents or members of the Port Mafia. Yeah, no one knows that you and Fyodor are connected at all, but he's just covering all his bases.

⁂ If someone tries to hit on you or anything like that, good luck to them. Fyodor would probably find out immediately and either one of two scenarios would occur:

1. He would ask that you not hang out with said person anymore and would convince you to completely cut that person out of your life.

Or the more dramatic option.....

2. He would simply make that person disappear. It would just happen. Of course, he had nothing to do with their disappearance. Feel free to interpret that how you will.

⁂ Sometimes he'll offer to let you have his ushanka for a while since he likes seeing you wear it. In fact, it soon became a routine: when he came home, he'd take off his coat and hang it up, then he'd locate you and place the ushanka on your head. He didn't always give it up easily though. He'd sometimes demand something in return.

⁂ When Fyodor wants to relax, he'll lay his head down in your lap and have you mess around with his hair. It doesn't matter if you're just mussing it up or if you're just combing it, he loves the feeling of your fingers running through his hair.

BSD taglist: @edith-is-a-cat @twst-om-lover @l7k-a @lyle-my-beloved @xen-blank @cookiesandbiscuits @mermaidfanficlibrary

Reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♥︎

#fyodor dostoevsky bsd #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor bsd #fyodor dostoevsky bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #gn!reader

[steveharringtonat3am]

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

You had always been a sucker for Valentine’s day. Maybe it was the love in the air, the beautiful pinks and reds that seemed to adorn every surface. You just couldn’t get enough of it. But with all the joy of love everywhere, you couldn’t help but feel a slight ache. You wanted that love with someone. In fact, you already had someone in mind.

“Oh good, you’re here!” Steve welcomes you into his apartment with a grin, taking the bags full of craft supplies from you as you hang your coat up. You were quite familiar with Steve’s apartment as he insisted on hosting weekly movie nights for your friend group.

“So, I went a little crazy in the craft store but you can’t blame me cause well…it was so pink!” You sheepishly smile, but feel no shame.

When Steve had asked you if you wanted to help him make some decor for tomorrow’s movie night, a romcom themed frenzy, you had jumped on the idea. A Valentine’s themed movie night with Steve? You were hooked instantly. Of course being the show-off he is, he needed to go all out. That’s where your crafting skills came in.

“This all looks great! But I have to ask, what exactly are we making?” He unpacks everything methodically, careful to not mess anything up.

“Well, I figured we could make some cute popcorn buckets, some fake movie tickets, and a whole bunch of decorations to make your place a little less…guy.” The comment makes him laugh, shaking his head at you.

“You’re in charge, I’m not very good at the whole Valentine’s thing.” He admits as he sets next to you, watching you set everything up.

“Really? I thought you had a Valentine last year?” You start making a trial movie ticket, sneaking a bite of the crackers and cheese Steve had set out for the two of you.

“Well I did but…she didn’t seem to like what I had planned.” You glance over as he messes around with the bottle of glitter, refusing to look at you.

“I’m sure your plans were wonderful. Maybe you just need someone who…gets you.” You feel heat in your ears as the words slip out your mouth. Your crush on Steve was a closely guarded secret and you weren’t quite ready to let it out just yet.

“Right…so how exactly are we doing this?” He holds the plain popcorn bucket in his hands, turning it over and inspecting it.

“Just do whatever feels right!”

“Alright but if it turns out ugly it’s Dustins’.” He grins at you as you laugh.

You play some music as you work but it’s a comfortable silence between the two of you. Steve had this quality about him that just made you feel so at ease. It was one of the reasons you liked him so much. You could just be yourself with him.

“Steve? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He briefly meets your eyes, gauging how serious of a question this was about to be.

“Do you have any…dreams to get out of Hawkins? Sometimes it’s all I think about.” You had been worried briefly Steve would move away after you both graduated. So when he hadn’t, you had been so relieved you nearly confessed then and there.

“I think about it sometimes. Now that all the craziness has died down…I wouldn’t mind moving to the city someday. But I wouldn’t wanna go by myself.” He smiles softly at you and you return it.

“Yeah, me too.” You keep your eyes laser focused on the glue you’re meticulously applying to the pink cardstock, just a little afraid to look at him.

“What would you do when you got there?” He asks.

“I’m honestly not sure. I’ve always kinda dreamed about opening a cafe.” You share the thought quietly. You hadn’t told many people about the cozy cafe you had always dreamed of running, full of simple pastries and comfortable seating.

“That would really suit you.” He smiles.

You both reach for the pink glitter at the same time, fingertips brushing quickly. The sparks shoot up your arm as you recoil. You were no stranger to touching Steve. He was very affectionate, always bumping your shoulder when he made a dumb joke, brushing your waist whenever he needed to get by you, hand slipping into yours in a crowd. But it still took you by surprise. You offer the glitter to him wordlessly, picking up the red glitter instead.

The urge to confess climbs up your throat and you have to push it down with a sip of your water. You work in silence for the rest of the night, aided by your constant moving around to decorate every corner of his living room.

You both collapse on the couch late into the evening, covered in glue and glitter and exhaustion. His knee brushes yours and you’re suddenly wide awake.

“I think you’re ready for tomorrow.” You note, the room around you covered in pinks and reds and whites.

“Yeah…you think I’ll ever get this glitter out of my hair?” He shakes his head in an attempt to get some of the pink sparkles out, but it’s mostly futile.

“You want the truth?”

“Not at all.” He grins, making you both laugh. It’s not very funny, but you blame the fatigue that has settled in your bones for your current state.

When you finally recover, you both rest your heads on the couch, eyes locking.

“I’m really glad to be spending Valentine’s with you.” He mumbles, hand coming up to gently brush some hair off your face. His thumb lingers, stroking your cheek.

“So am I…” You trail off. Have his lips always looked this appealing? You can’t seem to think straight and the next thing you know, his lips are pressing against yours. You kiss back instinctively, like you’ve been doing it all your life. You sink into him, hands combing into his hair as he cups your face. It’s a thrilling moment, and you almost want to pinch yourself.

When your bodies finally come up for air, you can hardly stop the ear-to-ear grin.

“So…wanna watch a movie?”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic #Steve Harrington fanfiction #Steve Harrington oneshot #Steve Harrington blurb #stranger things #stranger things fic #Steve Harrington fluff #Steve Harrington x reader fluff #fluff

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

Hey if we’re talking about Dean and angels, entirely in good faith I’m sure, you wanna see one of my most personally loathed Dean transgressions?

It’s this bit from season 9:

[IMG: Dean Winchester with a phone to his ear, facing left, Sam is out of focus in the background of the shot. The captions read “Well, trust me, they’re just monsters with good PR.”]

[IMG: A man leaning against his car on the side of the road with his phone to his ear, the other side of the conversation. The captions, continued from the previous image, read: “So, if you run into one, torch his ass with holy oil.”]

[IMG: Later in the same conversation, Dean, leaning back and facing slightly right speaking into his phone. The captions read “And, uh, spread the word.”]

[IMG: The same as above, Dean continues speaking, the captions now read: “The more hunters that know, the better.”]

I’ve cut for the relevant stuff but that’s Dean’s solution to the problem of a bunch of fallen angels being on earth. Warning hunters about them I get, but this? To Dean angels are monsters with good pr, helping them or even sparing them isn’t in the equation, the solution is to burn them alive with holy oil.

Just to be clear, these are the last words exchanged with Cas on the matter:

[IMG: Castiel in the foreground looks back at another angel, Hael, who is looking around with concern, holding her harms to her chest and stomach. They are outside, framed next to a dumpster and an outhouse, Castiel is speaking into a payphone. The Captions read “Some are just looking for direction.”]

[IMG: Dean Winchester holds a cellphone to his ear, listening and looking perturbed, he is in a hospital hallway. The captions, continued from the previous image, read: “Some are just lost.”]

Cas expresses that some of the angels are just lost and confused, that he met one and wants to help her.

[IMG: Dean in the left half of the frame, looking down, speaking into the phone. The captions read “No Cass, I know you want to help, okay, I do.”]

Dean warns him not to, and I actually like and understand Dean’s point of view here. Dean might understand that Cas cares about the other angels, but he cares a lot more about Cas not getting hurt, and he’s personally seen that some angels are out for his blood, and considering Cas just finished getting tricked by an angel that caused this whole mess I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to be skeptical of Cas’ judgment here. I mean, no more than his own considering what he’s about to do and also considering, oh yeah, it was Sam and Dean going to Metatron for help that put him back into play in the first place, but this is like understandable and in character. Dean wants Cas to prioritize his own safety, that’s cool.

[IMG: Castiel, centre frame, looking off to the right, speaking into a payphone, he looks upset. The captions read: “And do what? Just abandon them all?”]

Cas for his part views not helping the angels that he can as wrong, not fighting against them or hurting him, but just not doing everything he can to help. The conversation gets cut off before they can really get into an argument about it, and Cas ultimately takes Dean’s advice and tries to leave Hael and go to the bunker alone.

Now you know and I know that Cas ends up having to kill Hael when she backs him into a corner, despite his attempts to leave peacefully. Dean doesn’t know about that, his last word from Cas is that he wants to help the angels.

Cas has done plenty wrong by heaven, and a lot of what motivates him to help is the weight of that guilt, but his desire to reconcile and repent for his mistakes, and to help the other angels is a well established and consistent trait of his. Dean knows about this, he literally says “I know you want to help.” He just doesn’t care.

Because angels are “monsters with good PR”

anyway this is why I can’t stand it when people claim Cas should’ve trusted Dean with the angel tablet back in season 8. Forget the fact that Kevin literally got kidnapped from the place they were keeping him (and planning to take the angel tablet) two episodes later, Dean himself is not someone who can be trusted with information about angels, not if Cas cares about the well-being of his species, and he does.

Anyway that’s my take on it you’re welcome to disagree obviously, but Imo just because Cas is the poster child for angel massacres doesn’t mean the fact that his best friend seems to consider him and everyone like him to be sub-human isn’t like. An issue.

#spn #supernatural #Castiel #the show generally is fucked up about angels and Dean is the mouthpiece for the show #if you prefer to edit around this stuff in your Dean characterization I'm fine with that #but what I more often see is people uncritically repeating the show's framing #hence Cas being a special angel who is simply more human and feels more deeply than other angels #who are simply all less than

[wildgeese98]

I've seen a lot of people talking about how Anglerfish was a lure and the Redcanary case is a warning but I don't think that's quite right. I think the Redcanary case is a lure pretending to be a warning. I'm pretty much convinced that there is significance to both which voice reads out a case and which character gets the case. It follows then that something with some level of awareness is actively curating which cases get read out and to whom with some kind of intention in mind. Whatever it is that's chosing the cases wants Sam to look into the Magnus Institute. This also implies that it had enough information about Sam that it knew sending him a case about the Institute would cause him to start researching.

So the question is what or who is choosing the cases and why do they want Sam investigating the Magnus Institute?

For the who there's the obvious answer (the archive boys) that most people have already pretty much decided is fact. But I'm not convinced, it seems like too easy of an answer. That's not acctually a very good reason but it's the one I'm stubbornly clinging to. There's also the possibility that Freddy itself is aware and sentient, which has been hinted at by Colin. I really acctually have no idea what I think it is. I don't think we have enough info yet to make any proper guesses.

As for why it's interested in the Magnus Institute, well the most recent episode sheds some light on that. We know now that there is something within the OIAR called the Magnus Protocol. It hasn't been used or brought up in a long time and it has some connection to a private military contractor. From Alice's reaction it seems like whatever it is, it is not good news. So whatever is sending the cases wants Sam to find put more about the Magnus Protocol. Why? Again not enough data yet, but it probably has something to do with whatever caused the Institute to burn down and whatever nefarious stuff it was up to before it burned. Stuff that from the arg we know Sam was involved in as a kid.

Then again there's been some speculation that the Magnus of the Protocol and the Magnus of the Institute might not be the same people and the two might not have anything to do with each other. See this post and this one for more on that. So maybe it just fed Sam a case about the Magnus Institute so he would search the word Magnus and run across the Protocol. Maybe the Protocol has nothing to do with the Institute and there's a whole other bunch of creepiness going on that we know nothing about.

Idk, my brain is turning to mush from thanking about this too much. Would you believe me of I said this post was supposed to be like two paragraphs long? Ack, anyways if you've managed to read this entire mess I tip my hat to you. 🫡

#tmagp #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol #tmagp speculation #its 5am so i may wake up later and realize nothing in this post makes any sense

[saline-coelacanth]

Rambling some more about that one Kai au I've been thinking about lately

First of all, I'm thinking about calling this the "Scorched Au" since it sounds cool and also as a reference to the term "Scorched Earth" since that describes Kai very well in this au

So one part of the au is that the others all think Kai is dead because how could he have survived the volcano erupting? And again, Kai didn't unlock his true potential so they never saw him safely fly out of the volcano afterwards. Kai also lays low for a while. He takes some inspiration from Nya when she became Samurai X and decides to hide his identity, so even if the ninja run into him they don't recognize him at first.

Kai still uses the sword of fire but he also uses the fangblade that he's continued holding onto since managing to grab it before it fell in the lava. And he obviously still has his spinjitzu and normal hand-to-hand combat skills. He sort of goes around doing "vigilante justice" when in reality he's just sort of beating up anyone who gets in his way.

One other idea I thought of is Kai messing around with dark magic. One thing that he focuses a lot on is what more he needs to do to unlock his true potential, and his main belief is simply that he isn't strong enough. So he ends up teaching himself dark magic with a spell book he stole from some library or something like that (I haven't fully decided yet) And it's through the dark magic that he learns to "control fire" though it's not the same as if he were using his elemental powers. He basically learns a bunch of fire spells to make up for the fact that he hasn't unlocked his true potential. This also manages to fool the others into thinking Kai DID unlock his true potential even though it's just dark magic.

I also haven't thought of a name for Kai when he's going undercover since he should probably have one. I know I could just go with "Red Shogun" since that's already a name he's given himself, but idk I feel like that name doesn't really fit the design I've been working on. The design is more of a rogue type thing. I thought of something like the Scorched Shinobi since shinobi is just another word for ninja and it also fits with the au name but idk if I've fully settled on that just yet (though I am becoming fond of it)

And one more thing that I almost forgot to mention is Nya since she's pretty important to this au. So obviously Kai is pretty mad at the other ninja, but the only person he doesn't actively attack or threaten is Nya since despite everything that happened, she's still his little sister. And one other idea I had revolving around Nya is that since Kai ran off to go be evil, Master Wu decides that it's probably best to tell Nya about her water powers now and train her in them instead of waiting until season 5 to do so. Idk that just made sense to me and it might also cause Kai to spiral a bit more because he already had to deal with the fact that Nya doesn't need him anymore because of the whole Samurai X stuff. But now finding out that she has elemental powers as well would not help with his whole situation of feeling like the team never needed him and that he wasn't worthy. Idk I feel like I'm just spit balling at this point now

But anyway, this was sort of just aimless ramblings from me. Even if this doesn't become a main-stay au for my blog, I still wanna write my ideas somewhere for people to read.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago au #scorched au #although i might also call it scorched shinobi au if that name sticks for kai #kai smith #kai jiang #also sorry to the one person who voted that i have too many ninjago aus #but my brain just cannot be stopped /hj

[ezhuthalar]

Lots of people doing HOO AUs and that sounds fun so I'm hopping on the band wagon. Starting with TLH! (Note, this would mostly be from Jason's pov, with a few chapters from Leo's and Piper's perspectives. ) Edit: I'm calling this The EagleOwl Swap, after the birds closely associated with Zeus and Athena (Also I have seen a fanart with the seven and birds associated with their godly parents, and I was inspired)

Jason wakes up confused, surrounded by his bestfriend Leo and girlfriend Piper, who he doesn't remember. Everything proceeds normally until their teacher turns into a goat and goes zoo-wee-mama, Leo falls to his death till Jason saves him and Piper acts a bit suspicious. Hmmmm.....

The chariot arrives and in it... is not Annabeth. Not Percy either. Nope. It's... Katie Gardener.

Percy and Annabeth had disappeared a few months ago, and getting a bunch of feral demigods to listen is hard if you're not popular. So all the head cabin members are tired, and Jason was apparently the lead they needed to find them, according to their local oracle. Too bad Jason has zero memories

Camp sequence ensues. Leo fits in like a fish to water, while Jason's mopping around being lonely as there's no one else in his cabin. Till he finds Piper moping a bit Piper's Life Hacks 101: If you don't fit in a grp, just pretend you do; maybe then you would find happiness in this cruel world. Jason finds the life hack to be bs, but Piper's too occupied with other things (foreshadowing) to care about being comfortable

They do the quest to save Hera and coach, and the mission is a mess. Leo is pretty much Elsa but with fire powers, Jason has found out throwing water at enemies then electrocuting them is both effective and fun, so now they have to waste time stealing water bottles from stores or else Jason would pout the entire mission, and Piper discovers Charmspeak for the first time, which makes her scary.

We have Leo trauma-dumping with a smile as he talks about the whole 'mom died in a fire thanks to this weird grass-lady' ending that convo with 'everything's fine, I'm fine' when clearly it's not, your friends can see the pain in your eyes, leo stop holding in the pain-

Piper also trauma dumps about how lonely a child of a celebrity's life is, being piled with expectations, forced to not rock the boat at all, people only sucking up to her cuz everyone knows and wants to be friends with THE Tristan Mclean's daughter, pretending to be something she's not

Which is why she and Leo are best friends, cuz boi has no clue what Hollywood is in the first place, (look he had been running for half his life, cut him some slack) and she finds his jokes funny. (the first)

Jason, is an excellent detective no matter what, and gets suspicious of Piper. "Wait, if you're a people pleaser how did you get sent to the Wilderness School. Minors who repeatedly commit offenses goes to prision, and yet you haven't done anything". "Uhhhhh" , a monster attacks them, saving Piper from almost blowing her cover.

Piper questions her sexuality when she meets the hunters, Leo tries to be supportive, but fails. "Hey, I'm an aromantic, and even I can feel the romance between you and Piper" "...Leo. Never flirt. Ever" ( Fun fact, I said the exact same stuff to someone on behalf of my friend; suffice to say it wasn't my proudest moment)

They're both clueless to the angst stuff happening in the cave. Thalia is struggling to keep it together cuz her baby brother is all grown up and she can't celebrate that becuz he doesn't even know her and that's another person she has to add in the list of "loved one she eventually has to see die becuz she's immortal"

Surprise, as they near the place Hera's trapped, Piper gets revealed that's she been working with the giants to get Jason captured when he was least expecting it cause he's a threat. And Piper would sacrifice Jason, a guy she met like a week ago, for her dad whom which they kidnapped like a few months ago and then blackmailed her to be their spy.

Sike, the giants decides to kill Tristan and the trio instead of just Jason, which was not part of the deal, but Gaea hates Aphrodite and all her kids cuz they are Uranus spawns, and Gaea hates her ex-husband a lot. It's also convenient that two thirds of the trio are part of the prophecy of the Seven, so gotta kill them all. (Pokemon theme plays in the background) (Cuz only Hazel, Frank, Jason and Leo were confirmed to be a part of the Seven, and the other three were added later on )

They free Tristan, but Piper gets captured instead. Jason doesn't want to save her, considering she was willing to kill him off a few minutes ago, but Leo knows how Piper feels, considering Gaea screwed him over as well, who he now is 95% sure was that grass lady that killed his mom, and urges Jason to save them. Even if he's miffed by the fact that Piper got to keep her memories thanks to Gaea's interference intact while Jason and Leo's didn't.

"Wait hold up, so Hera and Gaea messed up my memories? So my friendships are all a lie!" "But that doesn't mean I'm not your friend anymore" Leo starts bawling at that, much to Jason surprise, because he has a friend after so long of being alone (poor boy)

Piper meanwhile regrets everything she has ever done, and not for the first time, considers suicide. But after getting riled up by someone from the shadows telling her she's useless, as a daughter of Aphrodite, she gets reminded of her will to live so that she can one day prove that stuck up manager of her father's that she's more than just a pretty face, and she will prove that manager and the rando in the shadows that she's better than them, basically living through sheer spite baby (Poor Piper, the little smolo blorbo)

They arrive at the place where both Piper and Hera are held. Gaea speaks through that mortal from the shadows (we making her more in this au cuz why not), whch is wayyyyyy more creepy then just talking through their dreams and starts egging Leo on being like "Heyyyyy, ya I did murder your mom" before forcing said mortal she was speaking through to kill themselves. We realise that Gaea has just been picking out random mortals and controllling them as she doesn't have a body herself.

Hera gets freed, Leo overcomes his fire trauma,Piper reedeems herself in Jason's books by reviving him back from the dead. Apparently having a pep talk from Leo and the grief from losing Jason, who is legit her best friend now, can get Piper to unlock her full power of charmspeaking. Leo's just happy he has a home again, with two best friends and a fairy godmother through Hera.

Honestly it's funny when you imagine Jason and Piper learning about Hera putting Leo in fire when he was a baby and being horrified, and he's like it wasn't traumatic, it was a learning experience. Also Hera, in the disguise of a babysitter, gave him ice cream for breakfast when he was five, so she's apparently one of his favourite gods.

Jason was apparently taken from the roman camp in an effort to combine the two camps together after centuries of bloodshed and fighting cuz they need to beat Gaea. So yay, Jason finds out atleast one thing about himself. Hera does promise that he will regain his memories when he finds the roman camp, which she doesn't disclose the location of.

Also piper was never intended to be part of the seven in the first place, but becuz she tagged along and put herself within Hera's radar and has a pretty nice power that would be very helpful, she gets put in the prophecy as well, so yay, she finally feels included for the first time in a very looooong time

Also at the begging of Leo, who is Hera's favoruite, decides to be a bit more helpful and give one more info: Annabeth's at the roman camp, and she also reveals that she intially took Percy first to represent the greeks, but he went missing after two days for some reason, so she took annabeth.

Oh in this au Piper and Leo do not become cabin heads, cause they are too busy saving the world to try to lead a cabin, also Piper finally fits in camp cuz she goes against her hollywood teachings and talks back at Drew, showing her true self after a long time. Hephastus cabin does not have that curse of not taking things able to work, but they do find the secret cabin. And they start preparing to go to the roman camp.

Next Part -> Son of Neptune Au

#the lost hero #heroes of olympus #hoo #tlh trio #percy jackson #piper mclean #jason grace #leo valdez #clarisse la rue #rachel elizabeth dare #thalia grace #katie gardener #pjo #hoo au #drew tanaka #The EagleOwl Swap

[liesmyth]

Okay but when John says "all of them" in response to "how many babies died" I think like, there's also some tragedy in the fact he's probably not lying at all. Like, obviously everyone died when the bombs went off, but what about the resurrection? I think it's like, extremely possible that John just didn't really bring back anyone other than adults. We're shown that even with his godlike powers there are limits, and Harrow especially I think gives a hint children might be one of them. He seems more in awe about what Harrow's parents did than anything, he talks about how he tried doing it and failed, and I think he feels some regret about his abilities.

We're only given a small idea of what life is like after resurrection, but from what we understand it's a lot of learning and a lot of weirdness. Additionally like, kids and babies have weirdness. They have parts of their brains that need to change levels depending on the lifespan, they have hormones that need to start more and stop more as they get older. They have bones that are soft bones that merge together and bones that form. We also know small scale is where God has some trouble, like being able to stop tumors but not blood cancer

I think it's really likely that John didn't attempt to resurrect kids, or was unable. He didn't want to put newly resurrected people in caretaker positions, he didn't want to risk messing up or causing problems. I think it's likely that later on he even tried, and just outright failed and has some guilt over it

My personal head canon is that he might have even tried to create a kid for himself in the past. The way he specifically calls out what Harrow's parents did as something he knows the logistics of tells me he's probably thought of it. My like, theory is that while he was killing planets and stuff he at one point attempted to try and use the bloom to create a kid for him and Alecto or to resurrect kids, and just had no idea how to make it work SO yeah TLDR: I think God talking about how all the babies died has actually some guilt on John's part, and ties into his guilt he angrily refuses to release himself from. Both that he's potentially unable to resurrect kids, but also that he was potentially unable to make a kid of his own like Harrow's parents did

THIS FUCKED ME UP. THANK YOu.

Ok. Listen. I actually never considered "he couldn't bring back children" before (or "he tried and went horribly wrong") but this is a 10/10 chef kiss heartbreaking headcanon. Terrible. All of them. Wow

Also. I lowkey think that John's bone crown is made of baby fingers specifically for a purpose, and IMO it's as a reminder to himself. I know this is somewhat #controversial, but I really don't read the baby bone crown as an Evil Symbol of Evil — House culture seem very much to be pro carrying around bits of your dead. I think it'd be a very John thing to make a symbol of office out of the dead children of humanity, and then interpret it as a memento to himself that there can be no forgiveness, as long as I have breath in my body etc, instead of a reminder that he shouldn't fucking nuke a planet. Anyway, I think the bone crown is, like, 40% a way to show respect to the dead and 60% because he thought it looked cool.

(Doylistically, the bone crown absoluely exists because Taz thought it looked cool)

Anyway. Before seeing this ask, my personal interpretation of John's familiarity with the details of what Harrow's parents did is that he understands the mechanics because resurrecting humanity + necromancy involved using some of that death energy, and possibly souls as fuel, to introduce necromancy to humanity. I'm not married to this theory because IMO if John had been able to pick and choose who was to be resurrected as an adept, we wouldn't have ended up with quite the same necro/cav pairings, but I'm not married to this guess either... it's just a whole bunch of guessing. Now this sad headcanon rerooted my brain so I'm again Considering Things

#lilipopthebard #ask #ejg #oh well. fuck #tlt thoughts

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hello, Fabulous Fans of the Fandom!!! It has definitely been a hot second.

Didn't post anything about their posts, and Pap walks, for the reason that I'm pretty sure they're getting ideas from rant posts like mine... Didn't want them getting more ideas, so no rant post.

But today, I'm making an exception. 😉

Before we begin though, 👸 wants to give y'all a small warning ⚠️

To start, let's look at this photo...

Is that who we think it is?

Is it?

Is it?

Nah, I'm just kidding. Don't worry if you thought it was Albitch, trust me, you weren't the only one 😆

Thank you, 👸 for handing me these screenshots 😁

"Funny how, Kim Kardashian's nudes made her famous. But when AB did it, to try and get attention, we constantly mock her for it."-👸

Girl! You've got a point 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Now that I have your attention, let's get to my main topic...

WTF has been happening lately?!?!

Well, for one thing, I know we're all tense one way or another about Valentine's Day. Since aside from being the most romantic day of the year, it's also the anniversary of the dreaded VDay photo dump.

And then there's the uterus-obssesed trolls from her side, expecting a baby announcement... Fuck y'all, by the way 🖕 which made me more tense about February 14.

But what happens a few hours before February 14 American time? Chris posts an adorable video about Dodger instead.

Still, that didn't help alleviate the tension. Because Dodger might help a little, but he's been used before, and it most definitely wasn't fun.

But then, it turns out Albitch isn't even in the same country. She flew to France with a bunch of friends. Friends who were seen to be posting to their boyfriends, saying how they missed them.

But why is Albitch's trip so important? Well, let me tell you. She WASN'T in the same country, when Chris just proved he's in Mass, and her friends' posts showed her WITHOUT her ring, in France.

Oddly enough, it was around this time, that photos of ringless-Chris-lookalike surfaced. The photos that were shown and sent to people/blogs that were guaranteed to get it circling the internet before the end of the day.

Seriously, are they slipping? Or was it deliberate?

Anyway, when Valentine's finally came, we were in the clear. Chris' Instagram remained silent, except for that one significant Dodger post.

Things stayed relatively quiet for a while, aside from the France trips making their rounds here and there. But it all came to a head earlier, when Chris posted on his story...

Further confirming how far apart he, and his dear "wife" really are. Who's been seen, eating out in France, still missing her ring...

I mean, really? Do y'all not eat out with finger jewelry? Is that another lame excuse y'all have for her?🙄

And three days ago, this article gets released... And the legitimacy is still up for debate, but the fact that it's here, feels like the perfect storm to me.

Not saying that it's the beginning of the end. But it's something!

Now, honestly, it's a mess in the Fandom. This whole thing is causing a shit storm, like always, and it's not pretty.

But whether or not this means something, we have to keep a level head. This could go either way. Which is why I, personally am taking the win.

Wins are few and far between right now, so, I'm taking it. And I'm also finishing two fics, and enjoying my book. Which is a pretty big deal, considering, I haven't been able to finish a book for most of last year 🥺

Thank you to my fabulous friends for sourcing me, and guiding me to the screenshots that allowed me to make my posts. Y'all truly are the best eyes and ears, a girl can ask for. 🫶

And please let me know, or feel free to add, if I forgot anything, guys😊

Until the next one!

❤️ Booky

#chris evans #chris evans fandom #booky reacts #alba baptista #booky's written works #seriously this is all kinds of possibilities #but I'll take it as a win #booky's rant post

[alolanrain]

this is a lot further along the plot line but Ash doesn’t stay in Alola, despite becoming the first Champion of the islands, and he especially doesn’t stay working at the school. he still very much has his wandering spirit and therefore goes to Galar right afterwards. 

Ash doesn’t become a research assistant for Professor Cerise, instead leaning more into his missions and just kind of wandering around the world, so Oak takes it upon himself to offer Ash up as some kind of assistant to the Professor’s actual assistants. so now sometimes Ash gets guilted into accompany Goh and Chloe-who takes his spot in the au and does school online-around the world as come kind of babysitter and he hates it for the first few times but he also gets it. 

Chloe is Professor Cerise’s daughter and the man didn’t want to impose on Ash but he also had heard stories, the kind that have bad men stiffening at Ash’s name or at a distant cry of a Pikachu, and even though he’s shaking in his shoes he still ask’s Ash to watch over his little girl. Goh’s just a part of the deal and reminds him to much of Gary when he was the same age. 

*Goh and Chloe are 10/11 and Ash is about 23 and a half when first approached by Cerise. 

it’s not like he’s around them all the time. most of their jobs are in Kanto and Johto and it’s good that the kids are traveling but not to far from their parents. Goh seems to be fine for the most part, besides interacting with people in the more western regions like Sinnoh and Kalos where he fails terribly, but Chloe is to stiff and awkward talking to anyone. she’s not used to being away from home and even though this is an amazing opportunity her dad gave her-based on her grades and knowledge and not the fact that she is his daughter-it still scares her shitless. 

Ash understands the feeling, truly he does. Pallet Town is a very heavily populated with Unovian families and it changed everything about the town so when he and Pikachu left it felt like their own region was a whole knew world. even if Delia tried her best to keep to Kanto traditions alive in their household. so he’s gentle with her while sarcastic with Goh. unknowingly giving what each kid needs to grow and prosper. 

this also naturally leads to Ash stumbling into Hop and Marnie or the other way around, really. I’m not joking. Those two stumbled across Ash as he was about to descend upon a building of Team Rocket members trying to set up in Galar, he had to shove the bloodthirst deep into himself since he recognizes Hop as Leons little brother and that would cause such a mess if those two saw him kill a bunch of grown men. Hop doesn’t trust him at first but Marnie immediately latches herself to the big scary emo fucker and tried to “kidnap” Ash or try and bribe him to come with her on her journey. it obviously doesn’t work but he keeps running into them over and over again whenever he’s in the region. 

which it’s a lot since the INL is slowly starting to crack down on Rose, after years of intel missions and figuring out why the Chairmen needs a something-billion vault built under the Hammerlocke gym. this also leads to Ash interacting with Bede. he doesn’t know how to interact with the blonde besides really sarcastic and targeted insults after Bede tried to call him useless or something along the lines. he reminds Ash a lot of Trip and it’s like a hair-trigger for him but somehow Ash doesn’t end up with Bede’s spine in his hands by the end of every interaction. it does change after Bede is misled by Oleana and Rose in destroying the mural and Ash feels some kind of morbid sense of guilt and understanding with the blonde so he takes him in. until Opal claims him though he’s now Ash’s little brother like how Dawn is his little sister. 

yes, it does mean that Ash takes Bede back with him to Sinnoh and Rowan can do nothing but just groan and sigh heavily into his cup. telling Ash that the kid sleeps in his room if he’s staying then takes Ingo and Gary to go get a whole new set of bedroom shit after cleaning out a room across the hall from the other three kids rooms while Ash and Dawn walks the kid through the Sandgem town. just filling the space with sibling banter as Bede stays silent and just watches how they interact. 

Bede does come back with Ash to Galar after Rose is taken into custody. mostly for statements and recounts-the destroyed mural is easily swept under the rug-and where Opal kind of kidnaps the kid. Ash doesn’t mind but does warn the woman that he’s apart of the Rowan family and needs contact with his new parents or so help Ash her umbrella will clash with his bat- 

even later on in the timeline Cavell reaches out to Ash about three particular students that could use his help-Kukui had absolutely bragged about Ash when he was the Professor’s TA to his colleagues across the world-and Ash is soon swept up. now more of a teacher then a teacher assistant to Arven, Nemona and Penny. 

#ta!au #ash ketchum #Professor Cerise #Goh #chloe cerise #bede #marnie #hop #professor oak #professor kukui #chairmen rose #pokemon oleana #champion leon #arven #nemona #penny #cavell #dawn rowan #pokemon dawn #warden ingo #professor rowan #master gunnery sergeant caderyn Laurence rowan #rowan/ingo #rowan is just collecting ALL the fucked up kids

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Reassembly Required

For: @berry-berry-blu @faeriekit @dykesville @idiot-cheesehead-archenemy ghxstkids @nat-space-obsessed @fan-dot Cake @carelisswriting @redactedgoose @jessaverant

For ghosts organs are optional, bones are optional, skin is optional, limbs are optional, heads are optional. Meaning that: head, shoulders, knees, and toes; all these pieces certainly must go!

Valerie just really hates jigsaw puzzles now.

Okay, Valerie is dealing with some shit right now. Not the normal kind of shit either… well it was still ghost related just not in the way it normally was. Decidedly not. And she’s not entirely sure what to do about that fact alone. Another fact she’s not sure what to do about is the fact that she is currently helping, yes helping, a ghost. Actually helping, not just being battle buddies. Sure it’s Phantom she’s helping and he or it or whatever was… okay… okay-ish. But he’s also why she even does everything.

Good-ish behaviour or not Phantom’s still a ghostly menace.

And here she is.

Helping he/it.

She’d question why but well, it would be pretty messed up of her to not help someone/something, anyone/anything, who had somehow survived -if being still dead but not gone counted as surviving- being fucking dismembered (who does that to someone?!?!?!?) and having its/their parts ‘conveniently’ wrapped/stored into a bunch of garbage bags.

She hadn’t even realized it was Phantom in there. But vaguely squirming black bags plus suspicious looking men -who were not in white suits- was a damn good cause for concern, and for theft of said vaguely squirming bags.

On that note, did you know that apparently disconnected ghostly body parts just squirmed and wiggled on their own? And were more gooey messy stuff than solid matter? Yeah no, probably not. She definitely hadn’t and would have like to have kept it that way. Instead she had committed vehicular break and enter, with maybe a side of arson, all to wind up finding out that fact when she opened the bag.

She expect kittens, or puppies, or something equally horrible. Horrible but both less horrible and more normal than this. Zone, human babies would have been less startling, much more upsetting though.

You win some you lose some right?

Oh god.

She needs fucking therapy. Especially after this bullshit. Grimacing and having to readjust the repurposed laptop bag strap she’s using to hold down what she thinks is a section of a forearm so she can continue sticking it back on to what she’s absolutely sure is definitely an elbow. She really hates the whole squirming on its own fact.

That… or Phantom is being a dick and is actually conscious and is just messing with her. She’ll end Phantom herself if that’s the case. She doubts it though.

At least she’s got one hand back together, why those whackos decided to remove each segment of finger at each and every joint she will never know. Doesn’t want to know even. Phantom will absolutely tell her though, be he thinks body horror is ‘funny’. Asshole.

Even pretends he ‘forgot’ that that kind of body horror usually kills people to do. With Its stupid, “oh yeah”, line.

Zone why is she doing this for this asshole again? She’s probably going to give herself nightmares, and what’s up with how goddamn gooey everything is? She expected some kind of solid matter, or at least a sturdy internal structure perhaps. But this fucking Jello and jet black semi-solid bone chunks mess might be better, because see, she made a plan -kinda maybe- after she opened up the first bag and was met with a goddamn swear-to-the-zone-and-back toxic green eye staring back at her unseeingly and twitching like people’s eyes do when they’re having chaotic dreams. The fucking whole skull, completely de-skinned because people are CRAZY, and loose teeth really added to the nightmare. All the green made it less nightmarish but oof, she hadn’t been okay with that and still wasn’t. But she has a plan at least.

That plan? Stick all the ‘ends’ together and the ‘bits’ back into or onto whatever they were supposed to be in/on, then all that ecto goo ghosts were apparently actually made of would just, you know, stick back together? Zone she’d seen Phantom just ‘pop’ an arm back on before.

But no. Apparently not. Because now she’s sitting in her room, with a bunch of her-damned and Phantom-damned bags of ghostly body parts attempting to put everything back together with a sewing needle and some thread she scrounged up from her closet. It was a little gross and dusty but surely ghosts can’t get infections from dust, right?

Whatever, Phantom should be thankful she’s doing this for Its sorry ass even if he does get some kind of dust infection.

And fine, maybe, maybe, ghost just being pure ecto, and not having a more proper firm structure like living beings, should have obvious but shes not a damn scientist okay?

“Shit!”, Valarie has to jump up, practically scrambling to catch the now run away hand; abandoning the nearly finished elbow and maybe-half-a-forearm. Having to jump on it to pin it to the ground like a cat after a mouse, “do I have to chase you every time we meet?”, and glares at the hand as she picks it up; it spasms a bit. She hopes that wasn’t some kind of ‘response’. Again, she will end Phantom otherwise.

At least the part she was working on is still secure. Small mercies.

Anyway, where was she? Oh yeah her mild mental crisis about helping Phantom/a ghost that she’s mildly using to distract herself from the fact that’s she sewing together a disturbingly close to human body but like it was made of jello. Phantom could never make things easy on her could it? She’s maybe a little rougher than necessary about ripping open another bag to maybe try and find more arm bits; it’s a serious struggle not to gag. Muttering, “you’re doing the right thing. You’re doing the right thing. You’re doing the right thing”, repeatedly to herself all the while.

Would it be messed up of her to demand a burger after this? Yeah. Probably. But she’s making the spook get her a damn burger anyway because fuck him and his/its unending bullshit.

Besides, what kind of super powerful ghostly maybe-hero gets chopped into bits and tossed into trash bags like something out of a B list gangster film? Her life and his afterlife were in the supernatural genre, zone damnit.

What?

Did Phantom agree to it?

Did It lose a bet with oddly high stakes?

Got caught up in a ghost body part trafficking ring?

Take a nap in a trash compactor that was just missing a lot of teeth?

Grimacing to herself… okay he might actually do something like that, and then finds a genuinely completely intact upper arm. What a blessing.

Ugh.

Well at least all she needs now is the rest of the forearm and she can stick the hand on. Hopefully the arm matches the hand, it might not. Does she really care though? If it still works than no. Phantom can rip Itself apart and slap Itself/himself back together again later, without her involvement, if he’s unimpressed with her workmanship.

She physically sits on the hand, so it can’t escape again, as she gets to work stitching the upper arm onto the elbow. Well she would get to work if the damn elbow would stop flailing and bending rapidly or occasionally liquifying, “would you goddamn stop that, I’m trying to help you here”, sighing as it just seems more erratic and wiggly, “why is this my life. I hate you so much”.

She winds up having to strap the elbow top down with some electrical tape she found in her drawer. It’s old and clearly not going to hold for long so she absolutely speeds through trying to stitch on the upper arm; it’s sloppy as hell and she doesn’t care.

The tape does indeed not hold and she gets smacked in the chin by the exposed upper portion of the arm for all her hard work. Zone she just feels so appreciated right now.

…

Now she’s also struck by the fact that she’s going to have to clean up her room after this, after Phantom is just leaking and flinging Its fucking ectoplasm goddamn everywhere. It’s in her hair, on her hands, covering the floor, there’s arches and splatters across the ceiling, her bedsheets are a hundred percent a lost cause, and now there’s also definitely some on her chin. At least what’s still sluggishly leaking out of the mostly rebuilt arm is just doing it very slowly; so it’s just kind of drooling out of the end and squirming in gooey strings. Rather than getting actually splattered around.

Electing to shove the hand in an old candle jar to stop any potential repeat runaway attempts before going about searching for the rest of the forearm.

It’s not fun. It’s really not fun. Pretty shit actually. Having to go bag by bag -was eight separate bags really necessary?- and push around mounds and globs of disconnected and disjointed ecto-flesh and ecto-organ soup (or maybe just organ-like things, she’s pretty sure ghosts do not have organs of any kind at all) hoping to find the particular bit of ecto-flesh that she’s actually looking for. Since spreading everything topour out on the floor was a bad idea for so many reasons, the hands escape attempt being one. Plus, that tactic didn't work with ikea furniture, it wouldn’t work for people… or ghosts in this case.

…

It was in with the, ugh, head bag. Which was the last one she checked. The one she most wanted it to not be in. Seeing a goddamn SKULL and eyes, unseeing or no, was a couple of notches past more disturbing than she’s honestly all that willing to put up with. Even for the maybe-good maybe-hero that is Phantom.

Frowning at the bit of forearm, “but if this was reversed, he’d do this for me without hesitation”, shaking her head, “ugh. Stupid idiot”.

If he wasn’t a ghost… she probably couldn’t bring herself to hate It at all. That had to be hypocritical of her, right? Plus she definitely wouldn’t piece back together someone she actually hated, Zone, she’d find a water bottle full of old piss and dump it on Vlad’s exposed parts before helping him out; maybe shake the piss filled bags around a little. So maybe she didn’t hate Phantom, he was okay, definitely okay enough to not be left as a collection of Bits & Bites™ mixed in with broth to make Campbells Chunky Soup™.

Scowling at herself and then glaring at the forearm to forearm sticking she’s doing, “Zone damn it Phantom, you’re corrupting me”. Morbid humour can’t be healthy, regardless of Phantom’s love for it. He’d never let her live it down if It knew she had referred to It as a snack food that’s just a bag full of a random collection of other snack foods mixed in with soup. You know. Like how he was currently bags full of a random collection of body parts and liquid ectoplasm.

At least the forearm being actually securely tied down, regardless of the upper arm still flailing and wiggly madly, makes the reattachment go smoothly enough.

Okay. So. The hand…

She chooses to just wrap some of the bedsheet around the hand to keep the fingers from flailing and scratching anything before putting hand stump to forearm stump and getting to work. She is very thankful that all Phantom’s parts are currently doing is random movements and not, like, randomly shooting off ecto-beams or making ecto-ice. She’s not foolish or prideful enough to think she’d actually survive being in an enclosed space with Phantom, with any part of It, randomly sending off attacks in random directions. She’d never realized how much he was holding back when she was young, when she first started, but she sure as shit figured that out after seeing the state he left Vlad’s -ugh- lab in.

It is definitely weird that that makes her feel better about the spook though. It could obliterate her and everyone else yet actively made a point to not hurt anyone intentionally or directly. Still did though, because he was a dumbass and also because she was, admittedly, over aggressive.

Right now though, she thinks it’s his hand and arm that are being ‘over aggressive’. Watching the fully reattached thing smacking itself into the floor with audible thumps. “The downstairs neighbours must hate us”. They did. They complained. A lot. Or they used to, until she bitched to Phantom about it during patrolling down time, after said neighbours had stabbed a broom into their roof to ‘make her quiet down’ so hard it punctured through her floor. Apparently Phantom ‘haunted their asses’ for three days and infected their fish tank with ‘signal signs’, she did not ask for an explanation. You know, that whole thing about gift horses and mouths.

Speaking of mouths, that is the last part Phantom’s getting reattached; for obvious reasons. Zone he could just never shut up; and trying to make him shut up just made the ghost more talkative.

She should do the other arm right? She got one figured out so round two should be assuredly easier… hopefully.

And it actually is. Weird. It’s just in two whole halves, an upper and a lower. Left arm? Maybe? It would make sense because if Phantom was defending Itself -which he damn well should have been- It most likely would have used Its right arm more to do that… meaning more damage would be done to the right arm.

…

If that’s the case she definitely attached the wrong hand. Shaking her head and shrugging, “Oh well. Phantom’s problem”. The only real downside to the more intact chunks is they’ve got a little more power, or energy maybe, to thrash around with. Little less ecto leaking though, an alright trade off really. Plus she still has to deal with another hand, which she is not looking forward to at all. Though wait, if the fixed hand was so turbo fucked then it has to be the right hand, because why would a mangled hand be attached to a less mangled arm?

Snaking her forehead, “I’m a dumbass”, sighing, “I can just check which side has the palm and thumb the right way. Ugh”. Getting up and abandoning the mostly stitched back together arm, which starts bouncing around on the ground gurgling out ectoplasm, to check the hand.

…

It’s the wrong fucking hand. Why is her luck such horseshit? Why is Phantom’s luck such horseshit? Why didn’t she have the brain cell required to actually check before attaching the hand?

Whelp, she ain’t fixing her fuck up now. But maybe she won’t attach the other hand to the obviously wrong arm; Phantom can deal with it.

… Unless she needs to put him back together completely for his sorry ass to wake up. That would be just the cream on top, wouldn’t it. Either way she goes back to finishing the other arms stitch work; which thankfully doesn’t go horribly and doesn’t get her smacked in the chin again. Which fine, might because she was on guard for a repeat offence this time.

Standing up after using her desk leg to sort of pin down the arm, putting her hands on her hips and eyeing the bags, “okay, legs; since I’m making the second hand Phantom’s problem”, grimacing, “and because I am deeply disturbed about what I’m going to have to deal with with the torso, and the head is, frankly, too freaky without shotgunning at least one Redbull™”, frowning more, “and maybe cracking open a Monster™ too, for good measure”. She just mildly hates this entire situation.

…

Scratch that, she aggressively hates this ENTIRE situation. She found feet skin. FEET SKIN. Fucking. Hollowed. Out. Floppy. Feet. Skin.

Who does this shit to someone??????? What the fuck???

Sure. Maybe. Phantom’s ’feet skins’ -Zone fucking Hell why- are more… boot? skins? Its feet outer ectoplasmic shell was just white boots after all, but still DISTURBING. What is she even supposed to do with this? Scowling, “Woe to those men. Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow. Fuck”.

…

Now she has to go garbage bag digging for probably mushy feet innards. Fun. Exactly how she wanted to spend her afternoon. Groaning and looking back into the bag with the… feet skin and hoping it’s at least in the same damn bag.

Glaring down at the actually intact feet innards sludge, “I am currently thankful you are one of the weird ghosts that actually likes to maintain the illusion of bones, holyshit”. The black feet and toe bones ‘appear’ to be holding together the innard ectoplasm of his feet. It’s weird, vaguely solid-ish and needlessly gooey all at once. But regardless she gets up with that nightmare in hand and grimaces at the feet skins, this was gonna suck.

She now has the ‘fun’ task of stuffing wriggling feet ecto-innard goo and ecto-bones inside of pulsating feet/boot ecto-skin, like she’s putting on a seizing persons decidedly gushy and grippy socks. She has to stitch it on some since it’s not just snapping into being attached and, unlike socks, is not made of body hugging elastic.

The feet go in the candle jar immediately.

Wheezing to herself and shaking herself off some, “that might have been the worst thing I’ve ever done”, and shuddering before resuming looking for legs.

…

She doesn’t find legs. Like, at all. No thighs. No hips. No shins. No calves. No knees. Nada. You know what she does find though? A ghost tail. Yup, a full ghost tail. Which makes zero sense. Picking up and making faces at the surprisingly completely limp -though vibrating randomly- noodle-like thing, “how do or did you have both feet and a tail? What the Zone, Phantom?”. Better yet why couldn’t he have just had the tail? So that she wouldn’t have had to go through the crap she just did?!?!?!?!?!?.

… well at least it’s whole and intact. Fuck her life.

This unfortunately means it’s either torso or head time. Neither of which she wants to deal with. Especially not after that bullshit. What if she puts his goddamn face skin back on and the eyes in and everything and he just starts talking to her??? Yeah nope, not dealing with that. Not a chance. Yes if Phantom did do that It might be able to explain shit that she honestly doesn’t actually want explained but morbid curiosity is a thing, or be able to provide some advice on what the heck she’s doing.

Cause frankly?

She doesn’t know if she’s actually doing any of this shit right. Zone she already maybe put on the wrong damn hand!

She refuses to deal with his bantering though. Big ol’ fat no. An even bigger, fatter, ‘No’ if It banters while Its head is still detached from a torso.

So torso reconstruction it is. Meaning organs. Ugh. And considering she knows what bag the head, it’s skin, and the eyes and teeth, are in; she actually can just dump everything else, at this point her floor can go fuck itself. Anything that wiggles or squirms too much goes back in its plastic confines as punishment.

Valerie drops the tail and turns on the rest of the -head free- bags, dumping them in a messy pile unceremoniously. It’s a mess. It’s disgusting. It’s writhing and dripping and squelching. It’s a lot of things. Mostly it’s a mass of maybe-bones, maybe-organs that are maybe whole, and ecto-flesh; ectoplasm leaking and dripping in and out (somehow) of the squishy jello mound.

Her blinking, “… maybe making a fucking flesh mound wasn’t the best way to go about this, dear zone”. Breathing and massaging her temples, “okay. Okay. Let’s see. Uh”, sighing and dropping her hands, “drag out the outer ecto-flesh, hope it’s entirely intact even though I damn well know it ain’t gonna be. If it’s not intact then, fuck, try? to piece it back together like a very disturbing flesh puzzle”.

Not only is the flesh not intact -big surprise there. Not- but it’s also still connected to random bits of innard ectoplasm. Some is still connect to ecto-bone even. Even worse some of the innard ectoplasm and ecto-bone is also connected to other innard bits; making basically strings and webs of semi-solid mangled nightmare mess. She’s has precisely zero chance of figuring out what everything is and where everything goes.

Shoving everything around on the floor and throwing her hands up, “I give up on making sense of any of this”. So here’s the new plan, stitch the skin back together at random with mild attempts to make things straight-ish and aligned-ish; while giving very little fucks about how nice it looks since it will all probably have to be removed and redone.

By Phantom. Not her.

Who knows maybe he has experience stitching Itself back together from head to toe, he gets hurt enough that it’s possible… she pities him sometimes honestly. Like he’s out there doing the whole sorta heroing thing and getting shit kicked beyond shit kicked for it. Sure so was she but she didn’t get de-limbed vaguely regularly, not to mention this whole mess.

Lifting up a very square section of ecto-flesh, watching the stringing connections to what seems like a rib or half a rib, it warbles and makes a groaning noise. Valerie drops it immediately, whisper muttering, “what the fuck, Hell no”, a couple times. She does swallow and keep working on stitching together different pieces though, she’s not letting freaky ghost shit stop her from doing what she’s decided she’s going to do. Being extra freaky or not.

Unfortunately that is not the last time she encounters random moaning… stuff. She drops every single piece that does it and moves onto a different part every time.

And then the apartment door opens, or sounds like it does at least, making her freeze. Okay, alright, two options. Option one: they’re being robbed. Unlikely but possible, very unfortunate for the robber though because she WILL fuck their shit up while actively covered in gore. Option two: her dad’s home. Technically safer but ho boy, not good. He might be… alright more or less with her chosen profession, at this point. But being okay with your daughter kicking ghostly ass and occasionally getting slightly hurt was entirely different than walking in on your daughter reconstructing what’s practically a goo ghost corpse; a ghost corpse of the well-loved, highly respected, and celebrated town hero. Also her room looks like a fucking nightmare, Zone she probably looks like a fucking nightmare.

There’s the sound of keys being hung up, shoes being dropped on the ground before tucked away, the fridge being opened and closed, the coffee machine starting up, and a loud sigh. Yup. It’s her dad. She is so fucked. The vaguely more person-shaped mound seemingly agrees and moans from some part of Itself; the squelching is louder than the moan yet unfortunately less disturbing.

“You home, Sweetie?”.

Valerie swallows, yes or no? He’ll want to check in on her room either way so maybe if she tells him to, ugh, not come in then he’ll listen. Or he’ll make her at least come out and see him so he can see she’s fine. Normally it was just mildly inconvenient but made her feel warm and happy inside, but right now she’s positively covered in ectoplasm and bits of ghost flesh; if she was injured he wouldn’t be able to freaking see it past the ecto.

Which fine, that might have covered her from his worry more than once but Phantom always noticed because apparently blood had a noticeable smell, a thing she chooses not to think about too much.

Ah fuck it, if he comes in that would be worst case scenario here, “I’m home!”.

Apparently the downstairs neighbour has something to say about that, “I KNOW! I HAD TO PUT DOWN A GODDAMN BUCKET TO CATCH ALL THE GODDAMN ECTOPLASM DRIPPING DOWN FROM YOUR GODDAMN FLOOR! SORT YOUR SHIT!”, followed by a, “please don’t get me haunted again!”.

Okay, she can’t help but chuckle nervously at that. Damn it. But… glancing around and right yeah, all she did to fix that ‘hole’ was throw cardboard over it. Cardboard that is fuck soaked in ectoplasm now. Whoops. She’d apologize but that would just make those folks feel more bold to yell up through the floor.

“Valerie…”. Now her dad sounds unimpressed and concerned, more unimpressed than concerned; good.

Her vaguely attempting to squish around the person-ish mound -she thinks she actually managed to get one shoulder looking actually right, go her- so it looks slightly neater and maybe to get it to stop bubbling? and weakly flinging itself around in sections. “I’m fine, dad. I’m just, ugh, patching up Phantom”, muttering, “stupid ass ghost”, under her breath and very specially at the blob. The arm with a hand picks that moment to free itself from the laptop bag strap and spastically bounce wiggle itself into the ceiling with a wet thwack. Valerie glaring, “thanks Phantom, I definitely needed an entire arm and hand print on my goddamn ceiling”.

“Oh? It’s not too bad is it? Do you need help? Him?”, he sounds closer to the door now; she’s seriously praying he does not come in. Let her, and Phantom honestly, have that little ounce of luck.

Hurriedly responding, “no, no, no, no help necessary. But, it is bad, dad”, wincing, “I think he’ll be fine since he hasn’t started fading or anything”, muttering quietly to herself, “I have no clue how though”. Because really? How was this in any shape, way, or form, survivable to any degree? “You don’t have a protective suit or anything so you definitely should not come in”. Please let him listen to her, please let him listen to her, please let him-

“If you’re sure, I don’t like the sounds of that though and you know it. Once you do have him patched up, I want to see both of you just for my own peace of mind; okay?”.

She knows damn well she can’t get out of this one, but Zone does she wish she could. Plus she doesn’t exactly know how possible that will be for Phantom. Even if she had somehow by some miracle actually managed to put the ghost back together again perfectly, which she clearly didn’t, there’s no way It wouldn’t still be hurt and exhausted and whatever else. He’d probably want to go see that doctor he’s said he/It has; that still baffles her some. Ghosts having fucking doctors. Sighing to herself, “okay. Can’t guarantee Phantom will be super up for a chat though”.

…

“Based on him not making some joke I’m guessing he’s unconscious?”.

Valerie winces, over both the comment and the fully intact arm plus hand practically slapping into the torso flesh mound, “yes?”.

Thankfully her dad sighs, “I’ll be in the living room then. I will check in every hour on the hour though, missy. And I will come in there if I don’t get a response”, and sounds like he’s walking away from the door.

… So looks like future her and future Phantom will have that problem to deal with. After dealing with the current, much more dire and insane, one.

Sighing and frowning, she pries the spasming arm hand out of the torso mound, “stop hitting yourself, you idiot. That’s my job”. She gets the hand arm tied back down onto one of her bed legs, at least the other arm -still sans a hand- was still pinned down by her desk. And the-

Shit.

The feet escaped their candle jar jail, Zone damn it.

Standing up abruptly and looking around, “fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Where did you go you stupid bastard”. Getting down on her knees to check under the bed, yup there’s a foot, it’s kicking her wall, flopping over, flailing, and spasming up and down like a goddamn game glitch. “Every single part of you is unnecessarily dramatic, Phantom. Now come here you”. Today was going to give her extremely unique nightmares. Like a mob of mildly sentient feet attacking her from beneath her bed. Hooray for probably eventual insomnia induced creativity.

The foot goes back in the jar, her putting a desk weight on top of it for good measure while she hopefully goes to find the other missing foot.

She spends a good twenty minutes almost ripping her room apart, no foot. Okay so either it A) dissolved, a very bad omen. Or B) it’s successfully hidden itself and Phantom will have to find Its own shit. Or, and this is the really shitty option, C) its escaped the apartment entirely and has begun terrorizing the other tenants or random people on the street with its mere existence; meaning she’ll have to hunt down Phantom’s dismembered foot, which is probably leaving a mild trail of ectoplasm drippings and streaks where ever it is.

As it is she’ll have to deep clean even under her entire bed and the damn wall back there now. Ugh, cleaning everything was going to be a nightmare. Groaning into her hands, “if I get It back together then maybe Phantom can be helpful”, groaning again for good measure before moving back over to the torso mound and blink, titling her head, “I think it’s reconstructed itself? Or rearranged itself?”, well either way it was less horrific to look at. Though watching as some of the stringy connections warble and leak out more ectoplasm from somewhere -how much ectoplasm can one damn ghost have?- before shaping? a bit better; yeah this was still distinctly freaky. Making faces, “are you, er, conscious now? Reforming?”. She gets back the clicks, screeches, warbles, whistles, and static that she knows is ghost speak.

b̶̳͔̝̫̜̖̾̎̿̅͂͒̑͂̕͜ͅà̶͉̠̲̇́̿͑̽͒c̷̘̻̤͍͔̖͍̣̿̔͆̕͠k̶̛̬̤̻̗̄͊̊̔͆͊͑̕ ̸̻̂̃̿̍͗̉̏̕o̶̯̲̙̻̰̳͈̠̣̎f̷̢̰̟̹͝f̶̱̫͌̈́͊͋̇́͝.̷̢̣̥̻̹͚̉̿̈́̊͝ ̴̩̟̙̗̌̈H̷͓̪̳͉̻̄u̶̙̬͈͈̔̾͂̐̃̚̕͠ͅr̸̗̓̚t̸̛͍̱̰̰͍̩̏̈́͆͐͛͛͑͝ͅͅ.̷̫̜̭̤̺̖͍́̌̔̋̅͆̚ͅ ̷͎̟̠̖̲͌̋͛̈́͊̒̊́P̵̪͙̰̲͆̾̿̆a̵͍̙̠̼͕̪̪͑͌̏̿̃́̑i̷̺͈̜̯̩̝̓̆̏̐̊̍͜n̵͕̱̠̗͋̀̇̀͝͝.̶̧̢̱͕̦̀̍̋̆͑̆́͠ ̶̧̓̉̎̂͑͘F̴̧͕̙̥̝̭͚̲̓̽̚͠ḯ̵̜̝̊̈́͐̀̀̈́̾͠x̶͇͇͒̈́̉̿̈́͋̂͌.̵̰̀̉̾̓̈́̌͠ͅ ̶̨̥͖̣̱̕Ṣ̷̡͓̗͓̟͈̊̉̓̕ͅt̷̡̪̔͂̌̍̍̀͊̚̚͜ͅạ̸̹̥͕̮̍̓̋̅̐̃̑̔̌y̴͍̭̘̘͒̾ͅ ̴͔͋͗̋̽̂̍ą̴̨̛͚̹̦̜͉̌̓w̴̘̺͓̥̝̩̘̟̓ấ̸̫͕͕̱́̽͒̿͝y̷̙̻͔͚̽.̴̡̀ ̵̖̥̲̦̿̄̎̓͗̾̍͘͠N̶̤̦̝͗̈̒̊̈͗͂͘͘ȍ̸̢̯̤̻̘̥̩͓̒ ̷̜̝̼̗̾̍͜t̸͇͎̩̏̀̀͋o̴̖̓͒̊͗͑ͅǔ̵̘̾͐̿̔̅̇̐̚ͅc̶̡̜̤̼̖̗̲͉̝͂̾ḥ̷͍͉͓̹̗̦̽̊͜ͅ.̷̗̳̝̘̙̦̦̀̊̀̌̀̀ ̴̰̝̣̙͙̟͕́̓̑̀̎Ḙ̷̡̬̗͓̼͚̜̐̃̍̚ͅw̵̥̬̔̂́̕͘

Valerie blinking, glad she’s gotten used to ghosts enough to not instinctually flinch or cover her ears. Not that she can remotely understand what ever was just said or if the mound even actually said actual words and not just random sounds. Phantom would be the type to just make random sounds purely because It could.

Standing up and eyeing the one untouched bag, ugh, “okay if you’re maybe sorting that mess out I guess I have to deal with the… head now”. Maybe she’ll get lucky and he’ll have at least his eyes or skin back where it should be.

Is she that lucky? Of course not! Why would she be?. Closing the bag again and breathing, “yeah okay. Nope”. Walking off to her desk, throwing a glare at the pinned arm before ripping open a drawer and grabbing a RedBull. Promptly stabbing it with a knife, one that isn’t infused with ectoplasm or nano bots or covered in ectoplasm, and shotgunning it; grabbing a Monster right after and cracking it open.

Moving back over to the bag and sitting down, still glaring, putting the Monster to the side and opening the bag up again. It’s still a nightmare but at least it’s a nightmare she’s dealing with while caffeinated now. Officially grabbing out the fucking soft skull and just staring for a beat; there’s squirming squiggly muscles attached to it which is somehow both better and so much worse. It looks like the thing is covered in a mass of writhing green worms and parasites.

“Valerie?”.

Valerie jumps a little, apparently so distracted by Phantoms Zone damned skull that she didn’t hear her dad approach, “I’m still okay and still doing patching up, dad”, eyeing the singular foot in a jar. Naw, it’s better if she doesn’t tell him to search for a dismembered foot; that’ll worry him even more.

“Alright”. It sounds like he’s walking off again.

Shaking herself and looking back to the skull, hopefully this is the only time she’s going to see someone’s skull to any degree. Tilting it and squinting in through an eye socket, the inside of his skull was glowing blue of all things. Is that good? Bad? Related to how Phantom, of all ghosts, wound up dismembered? Sticking a finger in to poke it, which she was actively trying not to think about, and jerking her hand back with a faint hiss; glancing at the ice on her finger. “Alright. Ow. Not doing that again. Point taken, geez”.

Then immediately scrunching up her entire body in a disturbed cringe as the skull vibrates, mouth clicking open and shrieking loudly at her.

She definitely hears her dad rushing over this time, “you okay?”.

Shaking herself off, “yeah, I just pissed Phantom off a little I guess”, cracking her neck and shaking herself off a little more, “dick”.

And then the fucking skull snaps back at her, opening its toothless jaw wide, holy fucking shit. “h̵̙̓ē̶̼ý̸͔ ̷̙͂f̶͎̋u̴͈͊c̴̘̏k̶͎̈́ ̵̳̀y̴̤͂o̶̖̚ủ̸̼ ̷̞̊t̷͎̚o̷̳̊ȍ̵̭ ̷̫̽t̸̮̍h̷̞͂a̵̢̔t̸̫͂ ̴̻̃h̶͙̓ủ̸̼r̸̖̿t̴̪͆.̵̬́ ̸̧̈́W̸̮͋h̵̲̍ǎ̵͉t̴̡̛ ̶̰̽t̶͙͘h̶̬͝ě̷̥ ̷̗̔Ź̶͍ȏ̸̰n̶̮͒ẽ̵̩?̶̺͐”.

She instinctively flings the skull into the ceiling, it falling to the ground, squishing a little, and rolling a bit before she cautiously picks it back up. That… that was vaguely English, she thinks? she understood that. Her dad’s wince is almost audible, “I hope that’s all it was”, before sounding to go back to the living room again.

Then… the skull speaks up again; or Phantom speaks she supposes, “O̷h̶ ̶g̸e̸e̸z̷ ̶w̷h̴y̷ ̴a̴m̸ ̷I̶ ̴a̸ ̸m̷e̵s̴s̵?̷”.

Closer to English, good for him; this is a nightmare. She is having a goddamn conversation with a disembodied skull. “I am deeply disturbed, Phantom”.

Apparently It doesn’t like that response, “W̶h̷y̵ ̵i̸s̸ ̷m̸y̶ ̵h̷a̸n̴d̸ w̶r̴o̶n̴g̵?̸ W̴h̴e̴r̷e̶ ̴t̷h̸e̸ ̶f̴u̷c̶k̷ ̴I̶S̸ ̶m̷y̵ h̵a̵n̵d̸ a̴c̵t̴u̶a̶l̷l̷y̵?̶ W̴h̸y̷ ̵i̵s̸ ̵n̸o̴t̸h̸i̵n̵g̶ at̸t̵a̸c̷h̶e̶d̷?̸ ̴W̸h̷y̸ ̸i̸s̵ ̵m̴y̸ ̸a̵r̶m̵ ̸b̷e̷i̵n̶g̶ ̵s̴t̸a̸b̷b̷e̵d̴ ̷b̴y̵ ̸a̷ ̶f̷u̸c̸k̷i̷n̴g̷ ̶d̴e̸s̷k̴?̵ ̸B̴y̶ ̸t̸h̴e̵ ̵A̶n̴c̷i̷e̷n̷t̸s̷,̵ ̵V̵a̷l̸?̵”. She just stares for a beat, letting Phantom continue, “w̵h̶y̴ ̵d̵o̸e̷s̷ ̴i̷t̸ ̷f̵e̵e̷l̴ ̶l̶i̶k̷e̷ ̸o̶n̷e̴ ̴o̷f̶ ̶m̴y̶ f̸e̸e̷t̴ i̷s̴ ̸b̵e̸i̶n̸g̶ ̴b̵o̸i̴l̸e̵d̸?̵ ̴W̵h̵y̴ ̶d̴o I̷ h̶a̶v̶e̸ ̸f̵o̵u̴r̷ ̶f̵e̷e̴t̸!̵”.

She hopes by ‘four feet’ he means the ghostly tail that’s still laying limp on the floor. “Excuse you, I’ve spent multiple hours stitching you back together like a nightmarish puzzle. Zone I even rescued your sorry ass from the whack jobs carrying you off in garbage bags”. This conversation should be starting with a thank you as far as she’s concerned; she slapped It back together from something that damn well should have ended the ghost.

While the skull stays silent Valerie pulls out the face skin with as few fingers as possible, she might as well have this conversation with a proper damn face and not a freaking skull. Zone. She feels like she’s being judged as she just kind of tugs the skin down over the skull and prods it to move it where it’s more or less supposed to be.

She’s very glad the skin does actually snap or suck back on this time, as if it had never been off to begin with.

…

Phantom’s mouth opens again, the fact that Its still toothless is not a good look, almost as disturbing as being faceless, when combined with the lack of eyes. “D̷i̷d̴ ̷y̸o̴u̶ ̴j̴u̷s̷t̵ ̵p̴u̸l̶l̷ ̵m̷y̵ ̴s̷k̶i̵n̵ ̵b̵a̵c̸k̵ ̸o̷n̷?̵”.

There’s honestly not much she can say to that, “yup”.

“h̴u̶h̵”.

“Yeah”.

“t̷h̶a̵t̸’̷s̶,̴ ̷u̴h̸,̸ ̸p̷r̸e̸t̴t̶y̷ ̷f̵u̴c̸k̴e̸d̴ u̶p̴ ac̶t̵u̵a̵l̵l̵y̴”.

Valerie rolls her eyes, bleeding sarcasm, “you think?”, leaning over to grab an eye with a grimace, she’s got questions about how the actual fuck it’s actively leaking out ectoplasm. It’s completely covering her fingers and dripping down her arm onto the ground. “You’re getting an eye back too”.

“C̴o̸o̶l̶ ̷b̶e̸a̶n̶s̷”.

Valerie gapes a little at him, what the fuck kind of response is that? Here have back your eye that was removed from its eye socket by probable psychos. Oh that’s neat thanks for the solid, man. Stupid stupid Phantom. She basically rams the eye back in without any degree of precision, “screw you!”.

Phantom makes faces as the eye seems to, ugh, resettle. “f̸i̵r̶s̸t̶ ̵y̶o̴u̵ ̴s̵t̸a̴b̸ ̴m̴y̷ ̵c̶o̸r̷e̵,̴ ̵t̴h̷e̴n̶ ̵y̵o̷u̸ ̵s̵t̴a̸b̵ m̷e̶ w̸i̴t̵h̸ ̴m̸y̴ ̶o̸w̴n̸ ̴e̴y̸e̴!̶”.

“You say that like it’s something that regularly happens to people”.

“D̴o̸e̶s̵n̶’̴t̵ ̸i̶t̸”.

Valerie practically growls at the gaul of It, “no! Things that kill people don’t regularly happen to them, you twat!”. Why did Phantom have to be so damn insufferable sometimes. She grabs Its other eye a bit more aggressively than is necessary. “Do you want your other eye back or not”.

It glares at her with Its one attached eye, “N̴o̵t̴ ̴i̴f̷ ̶y̷o̶u̴’̸r̷e̵ ̵g̸o̸i̷n̴g̷ ̷t̵o̸ as̵s̵a̷u̵l̷t̷ /m̴e̵ ̸w̸i̶t̴h̴ ̴i̸t̷ ̷a̴g̶a̷i̷n̴”.

What kind of person or ghost just says ‘naw I’ll pass on having both eyes’??? She absolutely rams the eye in while Phantom shrieks in annoyance at her. Fuck him and fuck his annoyance too.

They just glare at each other for a while before Valerie huffs, scowling, “why am I still holding you, you suck”. Turning and throwing Phantoms head at the torso mound like she’s trying to slam it down.

It makes a loud squishing noise and indents into the torso mound some. Phantom speaking, muffled, “r̵u̶d̵e̶,̶ ̷b̶u̸t̶ ̶a̷c̸c̵e̴p̷t̵a̴b̵l̸e̵”.

She has no idea what he means by that, until the torso mound fucking squirms and starts globulating and reforming grotesquely like something out of a hard core eldritch body horror flick. There’s strings of almost starry gore scrapping against and snapping on to things, definite organs literally slapping into each other, stomach bile? squelching around black ribs in granules before settling, muscle fibre stretching unendingly and almost crushing in bone and ectoplasm. The ghostly tail slithering across the ground like the snake in the garden of eden itself to reattach to the severed lower section of torso, respawning to Its familiar legs; the normalcy of that particular change is more unsettling than it has any right to be.

She is strongly resisting the urge to vomit, it’s a fucking blessing when It’s suit reforms in perfect condition over the torso and neck. Phantoms back arching backwards in a stretch, head and neck craning back then forward then around with loud cracks. It rolls Its shoulders, with nothing attached to them, before looking over Its shoulder back at her, “I̷ ̴a̵m̴ ̵n̷o̴ ̸l̶o̵n̴g̶e̷r̸ ̷b̸o̶d̸i̸l̴e̶s̵s̴”, tilting Its head, “o̸r̸ ̶n̶o̵ ̶l̶o̶n̷g̶e̴r̸ ̶h̵e̵a̴d̸l̵e̷s̴s̷,̶ ̴d̴e̸p̷e̴n̴d̵i̵n̶g̴ ̸o̸n̸ ̴h̴o̶w̸ ̷y̶o̶u̵ ̵l̸o̵o̴k̸ ̵a̶t̷ ̶i̷t̴”.

She almost squeaks at him, “I didn't want to see that at all”. Scratch out everything she said about all the other horrific horror bullshit she’s seen tonight, that was the most nightmarish thing she’s ever seen and she will be having nightmares tonight, Zone she’ll be having them for the next week.

It levels her with a flat glare, “I̴’̴d̴ ̷s̴a̴y̸ ̶s̵o̵r̷r̸y̸ ̵b̸u̷t̸ ̸y̵o̷u̴ ̷p̷u̸n̷c̵h̶e̷d̴ ̴m̶e̴ ̷w̸i̷t̶h̴ ̴m̴y̴ ̶o̸w̸n̵ ̷e̴y̵e̵,̷ ̵t̸w̷i̷c̴e̷”.

She glares back and wheezes in pure disgust. Phantom nodding its head at the strapped down arm with a hand, clearly expecting her to go get it for the ghost. She is having none of that, “get it your damn self, you utter nightmare fuel”. Their glaring match goes on for a bit before she huffs and gets up, unstrapping the hand arm and giving It over by smacking the ghost over the head with it. Phantom managing to bite onto the wrist and muffle growl at her for hitting It; doesn’t stop glaring though, looking from the arm stump to Its shoulder stump then to her.

…

Is it not just going to reattach like the… torso? Fuck her luck, “do you need me to stitch it back on?”.

It nods happily, almost grinning like a damn puppy.

… Guess she’s doing this again, stupid Phantom for being like this. She huffs but does shuffle over to work on stitching the arm, Phantom holding it up with his mouth all the while; at least now it looks like It’s healing is helping the process along now.

Phantom dropping Its wrist out of Its mouth, “n̸i̸c̶e̴”.

Was that almost a thank you or is she hallucinating?

The ghost raises Its eyebrows at Its hand as it opens and closes, flexing, the wrong goddamn way because it’s on the wrong goddamn arm; before just shoving Its hand into Its head.

…There comes a point where disturbing shit just kind of stops being disturbing, you get to point where it’s just ‘ah okay this shit again. Fantastic’ and at least Phantom shoving Its hands into Itself suddenly wasn’t super new behaviour. It keep that thermos in Its stomach half the time for Zones sake. Phantom pulling a blue orb out of the front of Its face is goddamn new though, her watching as It promptly shoves the orb in Its chest.

Then, because apparently It wasn’t done being a pain, the handless arm and jarred foot go intangible, escaping their confines, and zip over to Phantom to reattach. Followed by Phantom biting off Its hand and sort of maneuvering it onto the left arm, right hard reforming from right arm stump out of thin air; the other foot also reforming from nothing.

Valerie blinks, speaking blandly, “well at least I know why I never found the other hand”. At least that means It did actually damage Its dominate hand more. “And what? Too lazy to go get the run away foot?”.

Phantom rolls Its eyes, “har har, I’m not reattached something that’s been basically boiled to a crisp in what I think is some guys stove top pot. Let the have my ecto blood as a broth additive”. She can only nod in acquiescence. Then It gets that stupid soft gentle ‘I care’ look that pulls at her heartstrings, before outright hugging her.

What?

It pats her back gently, “thanks a lot, really. Thanks so much. I’m fine, I’m whole; it’s okay for you to stop shaking now or for you to throw up if you need to-”.

She was shaking? When? How hadn’t she noticed?

“-I can summon you a shock blanket if you don’t have one. Or a soothing tea maybe?”, mumbling more to himself, “I’m sure Nocturne wouldn’t mind me taking some. They’d probably be happy, since they always say both of use are always too stung out and don’t sleep enough”.

She kinda hates that that would probably actually be a good idea, because all of this was all kinds of fucked up and supremely disturbing in every sense of the word; and the energy drinks were coming back to kick her in the ass. Had she even finished the Monster? Probably not. That was a waste right?

Phantom stops hugging her, leaning back but putting his hands on her shoulders, watching her face and tilting his head curiously, “you better? Better enough at least?”.

She fucking throws up right on his lap. Yeah okay, disturbing stomach churning shit, plus apparent mild possible shock, plus nerves about fixing a horrifically injured battle buddy, plus excessive caffeine, was maybe not the best idea she’s ever had. And Phantom be a gentle asshole rather kills her spite fuelled pride.

Her wheezing and whipping her mouth, while Phantom furrows his eyebrows together and purses his lips, “yeah. Yeah that’s- that’s fair. I definitely deserved that”.

“Fuck you”.

Phantom snorts at that but at least stops holding her shoulders. It leaning back on his hands and staring unseeingly at the wall, “I guess you probably want an explanation for the horror show I dump on you”.

Honestly? No. No she does not. That’s reasonable she thinks. Yet a stupid part of her is filled with that stupid morbid curiosity. Also, yeah, she definitely is shaking and she doesn’t know if that’s shock, adrenaline, or caffeine.

…

There’s also a blanket on her shoulders that definitely wasn’t there before. Stupid Phantom. Stupid stupid Phantom. He puts her through a fucking medical nightmare, then a body horror visual metric ton of nightmare, than has the audacity to be nice and kind and gentle. Zone she hates him… that’s a lie obviously but still…

Her swallowing, “the blue orb?”. That was at least something that won’t be horrifying, hopefully.

He grins and his eye light up, clearly happy to not talk about the shit that happened to him which was probably traumatizing, him turning to look back at her, “ah! yeah I guess you would have no clue what a core looks like, huh?”, shrugging loosely, “I’m sure Maddie and Jack have explained them some. Think heart and brain and lungs and bone marrow and everything”, pointingat his chest then to his head, “I moved my to my head to protect it”.

… All she can really think to say to that is, “well at least you protected yourself for a change”.

“Ouch, cut deep why don’tcha?”, and he grins stupidly, laughing a little.

She’s baffled how It can laugh at all after all this bullshit? She somewhat fixed him but everything she ‘fixed’ was things that were done to him. Scowling without any real feeling, “how are you not freaking out”.

His smile wavers a little but he shrugs anyways, “I’ve been through a lot, Val”.

“Don’t call me that”.

It actually winces, “right, sorry”, rubbing Its neck, “though yeah, getting dismembered by a ghost body part trafficking ring was a new, and very unpleasant, one”.

Zone fuck she was joking when she thought up fucking organ trafficing as a why for all this crap. Glaring, “seriously”.

Phantom smirks, “what can I say? It’s an Ancients be damned weird world. It’s tied to some cultural or religious thing, don’t quote me on that, that thinks wearing or consuming ghostly parts and ‘true ghost ectoplasm’ is healing and empowering. Yeah, it’s fucked up”.

Both of them jump at her dad suddenly interrupting on the other side of the door, “still okay in there?”.

Phantom just looks confused while Valerie shakes herself off some, “yeah dad, Phantom just came back around and is, you know, explaining”.

The man’s relieved sigh is extremely audible, “good. Good. Remember what I said though, you and me and Phantom and tea. Okay?”.

She sighs, “yeah, I know”, and starts pulling off the blanket to fold on her lap. Fuck she’s exhausted and doesn’t want to deal with this, but it’s her dad and she doesn’t want him to fret. Meanwhile Phantom is glancing around and eyeballing the ectoplasmic mess straight out of a slasher flick and wincing; eyeing her up and down and again wincing. She knew she looked a mess alright? No need to be a dick about it. Besides, he looked worse. So much worse, holy fuck.

Her dad humming, “good, will you both be out soon?”.

Phantom clears his throat, “yeah sure, I wouldn’t call myself super presentable quite yet though, so give me a beat, yeah?”.

“Of course! No worries, just sooner rather than later. Please”.

Both of the local town heroes wince at that, giving matching, “okay”’s before her dad walks away again. Her eyeing Phantom as he stands up with a bit of a grunt. Her frowning, “are you good?”.

His laugh is a little bitter and hollow, “I’m one part reformed mangled flesh soup and one part enough stitching to make me a patchwork doll. Not a chance in the entire Zone am I ‘okay’”, him kneeing down by some of the ectoplasmic mess, “but I’ll be okay, eventually. And there’s a gnarly mess to clean up and a worried father to placate”.

She blinks at him, confused, “mess to-?”, and cuts herself off at seeing all the ectoplasm splattered and smeared and coagulated around start pulsing and flowing to and seemingly inside of Phantom. What the actual fuck??? “What the fuck Phantom”.

The ghost shrugs, not looking back to her, “yes I can reabsorb my lost ecto, it’s just really not efficient or worth the effort. I produce and absorb ecto quick enough to replace whatever I’ve lost that it’s redundant to absorb what I’ve lost”.

Valerie shakes her head and forces herself to get up too, “what a technical way to say you’re over powered”. Which results in his cheeks instantly lighting up green, much to her amusement. He’s… actually okay-ish by some fucking stroke of pure luck.

Phantom clears his throat and points at her, making general gestures to her entire body, “well, ah, Amity’s also my lair so that helps”.

She scowls at It, “fuck you, again”, sighing and glancing down at herself, “if you think I’m going down and having tea with my father while covered in your ectoplasm, you’re kidding yourself”. At least he chuckles at that before poking her and seemingly absorbing his ecto. Fucking small mercies she guesses, since she wasn’t sure what to even do about the mess at all. “Some dripped down into Karen and Kevin apartment, they were bitching”.

“Fuck Karen and Kevin”.

She snorts at that which just results in both of them chuckling a little manically. Phantom gesturing to the door, “shall we?”, then shaking his head, “we need therapy”.

Valerie shakes her head to but moves towards the door, “so much therapy”. “Hey I’m supposed to be the issue, stop copying me”; there’s too much genuine sadness in than to make it really passable as a joke. At least the jackass wasn’t floating or anything, that always made him feel a little less inhuman; which was probably the point. That and the ghost was apparently still right shit, as he fucking deserved to be after the crap he just put her through.

Damian smiles and waves at both of them as they enter the living room/kitchen/dining room area (small apartments, am I right?), “so what do you want, I’ve got elderberry, chamomile, lavender berry….”.

As he continues to list on, both smile at him, it’s a little faked and the calm postures are a bit forced, but it’s something. Something tells her that Phantom’s is just a little bit less faked than hers though, which… just makes her pity the ghost more.

End

#danny phantom #phandom #phic phight #phicphight24 #danny #valerie gray #damian #poor danny #gore #blood and gore #dismemberment #stitching #reassembeling a sorta corse #injury #characyer injury #fan fic #phan phic #have a fic suck my dick #phantomphangphucker #gothmoth

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Amanda

Summary: Ferb meets his first niece.

...

“Ferb,” Phineas breathed, “she’s so tiny.”  Ferb couldn’t think of much to do except nod in agreement.

Their niece lay squirming and crying on the padded table in front of them, and Ferb would admit he was struggling to not reach out and scoop her up, even though they weren’t supposed to do that yet.

Instead, he pulled out his phone, snapped a bunch of pictures, and then sent them all to the group chat with their friends.

Isabella responded immediately, an “OMG!!!!!” with a whole bunch of different colored hearts and squee-ing emojis.  Buford sent a response a second later, a short “I approve of this small human,” along with a thumbs up.  Baljeet asked to know her size and weight and whether or not she was in the healthy percentile.

Ferb sent a quick response to Baljeet, then put his phone away and turned back to face Amanda again.  Phineas at this point had reached out and was running his hand over her fingers.

“She’s so small,” Phineas whispered.

Ferb smiled a little, slightly amused that Phineas of all people had been rendered nearly speechless, but also totally understanding.  She was, in fact, very small.

“Ferb,” Phineas said suddenly, turning to him.  “We have uncle responsibilities now, we have to take this very seriously.  We have to tell her all of Candace’s embarrassing childhood stories and let her get away with way more than Candace and Jeremy do so she thinks we’re cool.”

Ferb snorted, grinning at him.  “Somehow I don’t think Candace or Jeremy would appreciate that very much.”

“But those are our uncle responsibilities, Ferb,” Phineas said, getting a mischievous gleam in his eye.  “They can’t be mad at us if we’re being responsible.”

Ferb laughed again, shaking his head.

“Also we have to teach her all of the best ways to build stuff.  We should start with wiring, cause that could be bad if you mess it up, but we can leave the framework stuff up to her.  I’d actually love to see what she comes up with before she learns how it’s all ‘supposed’ to be done.”

“I don’t know if she’ll be super interested in building things for a couple years, Phineas,” Ferb said with a pointed smile.  “She might never be, actually.  Xavier and Fred were the ones who seemed more interested when we visited the future, and they won’t be around for a bit.”

“Well that’s true, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair to only teach them,” Phineas said, looking back at Ferb.  “Amanda doesn’t have to be interested, but I’m not going to not give her the opportunity just cause that’s what I expect from secret future knowledge.  I’m not going to treat Candace’s children any differently from each other, thank you very much.”

He prefaced this with a firm nod, and Ferb had to admit he had a fair point there.  He didn’t want Amanda to think any opportunities weren’t available to her.  They could offer the same things to each kid and let them tell them what they preferred, or let them ask for something else.

“How much have you thought about this?” Ferb asked with a curious look at Phineas.

“I’ve been thinking about this since we met them in the future, Ferb,” Phineas said, like that should be obvious.  “We’re uncles now, we have to take this very seriously.”

Ferb smiled at him in part amusement, part fondness.  Phineas certainly wouldn’t have to worry about that, he was clearly very serious about this.

Ferb turned and smiled back down at Amanda, who at this point had mostly stopped crying and was instead making small noises and shifting around, looking very unhappy with her situation.

Both of them stood there for another minute just looking at their niece, who continued to squirm and fuss.

“She’s so small,” Phineas whispered again, and Ferb smiled over at him.

A knock came on the door the next second, and both of them turned to see their dad poking his head in.

“Candace is awake, boys, if you’d like to see her,” he said.

“Oh heck yeah!” Phineas called, turning around with a grin.

“Is she doing alright?” Ferb asked.

Dad laughed a little bit.  “As well as she can be, considering,” he said, and they all headed out and down the hall as the nurses headed back in the room with Amanda.

Candace’s room was just down the hall, and she was in fact sitting up in bed when they all walked in there, Jeremy sitting at one of her sides and Mum at the other, and Perry curled up on Candace’s lap, looking up at her as if he was watching for anything she’d need him for.  For an animal that didn’t do much, he really could be very sweet.

“Next time,” Candace was saying to Jeremy as they all walked in, “you’re having the baby.”

Jeremy chuckled and leaned in to press a kiss to Candace’s forehead.  “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Candace!” Phineas called, rushing over towards the bed and ending up next to Jeremy.  “Do you know how tiny Amanda is?”

“I do,” Candace said weakly, leaning her head back on the pillow.  “And I’m gonna need you to take it down to about Ferb’s level, Phineas.”

“Whoops, sorry,” Phineas said with a sheepish smile, lowering his voice.  “She’s just so little, and I already love her so much.”

“I do too,” Candace said with a soft smile.

Ferb walked up along with their father and joined Phineas on the other side of the bed, as Dad headed over next to Mum.

He gave Candace a gentle smile that she returned, reaching out and ruffling Ferb’s hair before smiling at him and Phineas both.  “I’m glad you guys are here,” she said.

“Me too,” Phineas said, and Ferb nodded in agreement.  “How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted, hungry, like I just had a baby,” Candace said, looking up at the ceiling.

Their mum laughed from the other side of the bed.  “Welcome to the wonderful world of motherhood,” she said.

Candace gave her a small smirk.  “Thanks.  It gets easier from here, right?” she asked, and Mum and Dad both laughed.

Jeremy leaned in and kissed Candace on the forehead again, murmuring something that Ferb was pretty sure was some kind of expression of pride.  The two of them took a minute to smile at each other, and then Candace turned back to face everyone.

“Okay, I need another nap,” she said.  “Everybody out.  Not you,” she amended at the last second, grabbing Jeremy’s arm.  “Get up here in this bed and cuddle with me.”

“Demanding, aren’t you?” Jeremy asked, raising an amused eyebrow.

“I already told you, you’re having the baby next time.  You can get special treatment then.”

Jeremy laughed a little again, then climbed into the bed next to Candace, moving Perry gently so he could continue laying on top of her while they both laid down.

Their Mum leaned over and gave Candace a kiss on the top of her head, smiling down at her for a second, and Dad did the same a second later before the two of them headed out.

Phineas turned back to Candace one last time, leaning in and giving her (and Jeremy too, mostly due to proximity) a quick gentle hug, while watching to be careful of Perry.

“Ferb and I are gonna be awesome uncles for her,” he said, grinning brightly at Candace.  “Just wait.”

Candace smiled at him, and then at Ferb too, looking fond.  “I don’t have to,” she said.

Ferb felt his chest swell with all of the joy this day had brought, and he moved forward to give Candace and Jeremy a hug of his own.

Candace hugged him back, then reached over and pulled Phineas back in, and all four of them sat there for a moment together.  After a second, Perry crawled up in between them all and perched himself on Candace’s shoulders, wrapping himself around her almost as if joining in on the hug himself.

“Okay,” Candace said finally, picking Perry up and handing him off to Phineas.  Ferb could hear the wetness in her voice as she gently pushed them all back.  “I wasn’t kidding about needing another nap.  Both of you out.”

“I’ll call you when she wakes up,” Jeremy said, giving them a nod as he wrapped his arm around Candace.

So with that, Ferb followed Phineas and Perry out the door, giving a wave behind as Candace was already curling into Jeremy to fall asleep.

Perry looked behind them as they did, not seeming to want to leave.

“Aw, I know bud,” Phineas said, holding Perry out slightly so he could talk to him.  “I want to stay there too.  But Candace needs her rest.  Hey, you haven’t met Amanda yet, have you?  I should ask the nurses if it’s safe to bring you into the room.”

Phineas headed off to do just that, and Ferb walked over to sit next to Mum and Dad, who were both sitting there holding each other’s hands, not saying much.  They gave him a smile as he approached, but didn’t say anything, which was alright with Ferb.  Sometimes there weren’t words to say, and right now, they could all just sit there and enjoy the feeling of having a new family member, and all the joys she would bring.

#phineas and ferb #ferb fletcher #phineas flynn #amanda johnson #candace flynn #linda flynn fletcher #lawrence fletcher #perry the platypus #jeremy johnson #my fic

[erasurecloud]

I just need to get this off my chest since it’s annoying the hell out of me but why are people pissed that Enji blew Touya off when he was what he wanted all along bc like, putting aside the fact that Enji didn’t blow Touya off, there was no way anyone could’ve known about the ice quirk to teach him how to use it. His ice has only ever manifested subconsciously in an effort to prevent him from burning to death. My theory is that it’s only ever triggered twice: on Seketo peak and now. His ice was an unknown quirk that nobody could’ve taught him to use because they literally had no way of knowing it existed whatsoever.

Also love how this entire chapter has explained the incestuous relationships the Himura’s had and if you know anything about genetics/how incest can affect children yk it can cause a whole bunch of issues which I think we see in Rei & Touya’s mental instabilities- yet once again this fandom has found a way to blame Enji.

Even though the entirety of the chapter was how Rei’s bloodline was messed up and that’s why she and Touya went crazy.

#spoilers #bnha spoilers #MHA spoilers #bnha 387 #MHA 387 #I do love his ice tho #Enji todoroki #touya Todoroki #Dabi #Rei todoroki #Rei himura

[sa1808fi]

ALRIGHT MY AU TIME (WIP)

This is more of a Rex and Watevra-centered Au, mostly because I wanted to explore their dynamic after Rex was abandoned in Undar and proceeded to do everything in the second movie. And how Watevra took her 'dad's absence and presumed death, before meeting him again.

When she does meet him, he is nothing like how everyone described him (cause trauma), so this is also an Au that is letting Rex heal from his past mistreatment with the help of his kid that he tried to hurt in another timeline.

I guess the way this starts off is with Rex being back to the futuring to his timeline. There's gonna be that slight shock like why isn't he dead, but imma make sure he wakes up in the Rexcelsior with his Raptors, so he has that bit of comfort (How? I'll figure that out later) while he deals with the task of wrestling with his emotions from the failure of his revenge and the fact that Lucy actually came.

So, he decides to check out Syspocalypstar (After like maybe a month, he's not emotionally ready to do it immediately), 1. He doesn't really have anything better to do, and 2. He kinda wants to see what it's like considering he 'died' in the other timeline, and he was too caught up in revenge in his to see anything other than when Bianca was playing with his friends.

When he does get there, there's a lot of him just wandering around kind of being repulsed by the bright colors and sparkliness. Eventually, he does come across a statue of him, but it's when he was Emmet, and he gets a lot of mixed feelings seeing this statue. Because 1. It's showing him when he used to be naive and trusted everyone someone he's not anymore, 2. It means they cared enough to actually build it to remember him, and 3. They could've just built it as a might as well kind of thing instead of putting in any actual effort.

So Rex is just kind of frozen there in thought, and who comes along? His kid, Watevra pops in because she wants to visit her dad's memorial since it's the only real 'connection' she has with him outside of the stories and pictures his exfriends have of him.

She notices this dude who sticks out from the crowd a lot (But also there's not really anyone there) because he has the whole tough schtick that does still exist in the peace that came with the two systems coming together, just not at the intensity he's at.

Cue the 'Hey who are you?' Line from Watevra, because she would've remembered someone like Rex if he lived in Syspocalypstar. When they do make eye contact, there's this tension in Rex from having to deal with Watevra (his kid) on his first visit to Syspocalypstar.

Watevra almost instantly feels some kind of connection to this stranger that she just met, there is this bit of one-way conversation before she looks at the statue of her dad and compares it to Rex, seeing the resemblance before coming to the realization that OH, this is her dad.

There's gonna be mostly shock, definitely tears from Watevra as she hugs him, because her dad's not actually dead. Rex is mostly gonna be shocked because this is the first time he's really been hugged in years, but also that's his kid hugging him.

A sequence of Watevra spilling out a bunch of questions at him before they (Rex) decide to go someplace more private to talk since people are staring at their queen hugging a random stranger.

They have a talk with each other, Rex explaining where he was and what he did, and yeah Watevra is a bit surprised that this traumatized mess of a man is the person everyone told her about, but she still sympathizes and accepts him, explaining her side of the story. And Rex is still not ready to face his old friends, but he is willing to build a relationship with Watevra, and that's basically what the whole Au is gonna be about.

NOW this right here is like the first fic in the series that I'm planning to do.

What follows is a bunch of misunderstandings, Rex being hostile to his old friends and mayhem, and a wedding redo to make up for the rushed one five years ago, and this time Watevra's dad is actually here.

So yeah, I'm good to answer any questions anybody has about this Au, would love to be able to ramble about it some more. It's still in the early development stages, but I'm hoping to actually start writing it once I get my Undar fic out.

@4-as-in-a-trenchcoat :) I did it

#rex dangervest #queen watevra wanabi #the lego movie #the lego movie 2 #the lego movie au #lego movie #lego movie 2 #lego movie au #Familial Bonds au #HAHA #THis is my 100th post on this side blog #so i decided to make it this #take my content #I spent like half an hour writing this #saffi's rambles #saffi's aus

[imminent-danger-came]

Im asking cause i really like your theories - do you think theres a reason why peng is so focused on macaque? He talked to him first in 4x02, mentions him out of nowhere even when no one does, and even seems bitter when mentioning the hold wukong has on him. I joke he has an unrequited crush on macaque and hes pulling on his pigtails, but the fact lmk both made him have a big obsession with macaque and had him escape instead of just jailing him like yellowtusk, makes me feel theres a reason for it

There could easily be some jttw thing I don't know, or there could not, but I'll do my best to provide some insight based off of what we see in lmk!

So, I think Peng and Macaque quite simply just don't mesh. This is used as a way to highlight their differences, as well as set up the eventual fight between Macaque and Peng in 4x13. Peng dislikes the way Macaque goes about things, especially because Macaque prefers to be methodical and cautious while Peng loves to foolhardily fight:

Macaque: "Look Wukong—I get you're excited, I do! But crossing the jade emperor is going to have consequences- and you're not listening. *sigh*" Peng: "You always were the most cowardly of the bunch Macaque, slinking around in the shadows like a rodent—well I for one am done with squabbling for scraps!"

(4x02 New Adventures)

-

Sun Wukong: "Peng is the most dangerous foe any of you have ever faced—buuuuut, the only thing they care more about than fighting is self preservation." (4x12 The Plan Man)

-

These two characters are foils. Where Macaque has a difficult time leaving-

Peng: "The six-eared Macaque fighting side by side with his own replacements! Is there anything Wukong could do that would break his hold over you?" (4x13 Rip and Tear)

-Peng on the other hand runs the moment things turn south. They abandon their brothers, valuing their own life over anyone else's and making it clear that no one has a hold on them the same way people have a hold on Macaque. Macaque never wanted to reach for more, yet Peng is motivated by their lust for wealth and status. They're "done with squabbling for scraps" and are glad to say goodbye to Camel Ridge—or "this dump"—clearly focused on material things more than anything else.

Macaque: "No that's YOU! You're the one always running off! Looking for more power, more sources of immortality—you're the one who wouldn't quit while were were ahead! Not the great sage, he's got to drag EVERYONE else into his mess!" (4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

((I will say, however, I wonder why Peng chose to leave Heaven in the first place. Their motivations aren't as noble as Azure's and Yellowtusks'—what forced them out of their spot in the Celestial Court, if anything did?))

As for mentioning Macaque out of no where—I wouldn't say that's the case! Macaque was the last remaining member of the Brotherhood they had yet to cross paths with in 4x09, it makes perfect sense that Peng would bring him up while talking about reforging the Brotherhood after failing to win over DBK. Of course, Azure and Yellowtusk don't care—Macaque was basically the boyfriend Wukong kept bringing around that no one else liked.

Which...3x08 anyone?

Macaque: "*laughs* Together? Remind me again exactly what it is you contribute to the team? They seem to get on just fine without you! Don't take it personally Tang—your buddy Wukong values people by how useful they are to him. Take it from me as an...expert in what happens when you get too close to the king. Look out for number one, because if you don't? No one will." (3x08 Benched)

Another thing that piques my interest is Peng's choice to run, a cowardly choice, something that in another time they surely would have insulted Macaque for. ESPECIALLY because, Macaque is the one who instead makes the choice to stay in 4x13/4x13, helping to seal the Jade Emperor's power.

So ya. They foils.

Moving on, with the whole "Peng escaping rather than being imprisoned" plot point, I'd call attention to this 4x12 scene:

Peng: "Hm. I was expecting a little more pageantry while we were the ones running the show! Turns out Azure even trapped the cup bearers in the scroll. Pouring one's own drinks does tend to dampen the mood." Yellowtusk: "We are missing more than waitstaff brother—look around! This is not the change we dreampt of." Peng: "Oh, I don't know, a little bit of chaos might be good for the world!"

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Peng's specific use of the word chaos here leads me to believe that their going to somehow become involved with our who-done-it underworld plot. If Peng is one for chaos, and "the universe is perilously close to tipping into chaos", then it's 1+2. Now that Peng is free and Yellowtusk is imprisoned (very Macaque and SWK of them), I think it's quite possible Peng could work to free Yellowtusk next season, and Yellowtusk might downright refuse (very UNLIKE Macaque and SWK of them). Peng and Yellowtusk's motivations were extremely different since the beginning, and I think the rift between these two will be something explored down the line.

As for Peng and Macaque, I'm sure they'll get another confrontation! Something like Peng offering Macaque a "way out" from whatever our secret puppet-master has planning, and Macaque, in a beautiful choice of showing off his character development, chooses to instead stick it out with SWK and MK. It'll be something that highlights how much Macaque has developed and grown, while showing off Peng's vices.

#my personal interpretation is that Peng legitimately just hates Macaque's guts lmao #Maybe they're jealous of the devotion they see other people possess #Maybe they're just kinda an asshole #Either way they are a delight to watch #Very attached to my Macaque and Peng foils now anon thank you #One thing that get's me about Peng is their little ''Save your breath Azure'' in 4x08 #Like. DUDE. THAT SOUNDED SO SINCERE. WHAT ARE YOUR MOTIVATIONS. *shakes that bird* #anyways #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk peng #lmk macaque #lmk meta #lmk speculation #Always happy to think too hard about lego characters o7