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yaoyaobae · 1 year

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Another twst oc introduction 🏃‍♀️

Jaseem

School : Royal Sword Academy

Favourite food: Rice dishes, Shawarma

Pastime: Playing with his pet tiger Rana, Visiting Kalim, Discovering wildlife

Family: Father, Mother, Kalim(Cousin)

Role: Dormhead

Jaseem is a third year at RSA. To most people he may seem like a lone wolf who despises making friendships, but underneath the surface is a gentle boy who longs for freedom.

Being born from a wealthy family with relations to the Asims, Jaseem’s status is nothing new to even the freshmen. Every year groups of students and parents from high status families would flock around him offering their sister/daughters hand in marriage.

Before he was allowed to bring Rana to school (don’t ask me how he did it-) Jaseem had no choice but to either 1. Run as fast as possible or 2. Teleport himself to a safe spot. Now with Rana, a fearsome tiger donning an expensive turquoise silk ribbon, nobody dares to approach Jaseem anymore.

Personality wise, Jaseem is extremely sharp-tongued and will not tolerate a single second on people he deems as childish. He is capable of cooperating with others but would prefer to work alone. Despite the cold exterior, if one can prove that they love tigers as much as he does.. maybe they’d stand a chance to win his attention. And if you can win his trust, Jaseem is probably the most loyal ally/friend you will ever get.

Having attended many arranged marriage meetings, Jaseem is already accustomed to how he must act around the ladies even if he dislikes interacting with them and entertaining their thoughtless comments about his wealth.

He is actually really bad at conveying his feelings, particularly romantic ones. He can no longer grasp the real meaning of love and has trust issues about whether someone is genuinely interested in him. This only numbed Jaseem more over the years hence brushing these feelings aside.

Jaseem has a general disliking towards women due to his past, but he will respect those who deserve it and mean their words. He won’t voice his opinions unless the situation gets on his nerves.

Jaseem’s mother was hospitalised when he was a young child and has been living there for many years, only visiting for a few days when the doctors deem her suitable. Due to schoolwork and other business matters, Jaseem is unable to visit her as much as his father. But he tries to make time for her as he feels most comfortable and at ease when talking to her about his troubles.

His father already told him that he will never marry another woman as he loves his wife very much, this made Jaseem envious as he hopes to be able to find someone he can stand by faithfully someday. While he feels that his father can be rather strict, both father and son have mutual respect for one another as they only want the best for the family.

Backstory

Back when the life wasn’t as complicated, Jaseem was extremely cheerful and lived every day to the fullest with the vast amount of wealth his family possessed.

However when he had reached the age of 10, his life began to fall apart. As the only son, Jaseem was forced to find a future wife sooner or later. From then on he had to attend countless numbers of arranged marriage meetings, parties while attending his father’s business conferences. Jaseem thought he could shoulder this responsibility , but that pressure would just build up later as he grew older.

Arranged marriage meetings were the worst. Jaseem learnt how shallow and sly people could be, faking their entire personality to coddle up to him for the sole purpose of attaining his family’s wealth. “But that’s just the reality of being the only heir isn’t it”, he thought. Jaseem became increasingly saddened over the fact that no one genuinely TRIED to understand his hobbies or know more about him, only throwing empty praises about his home/accessories/looks.

Since young Jaseem has been fascinated with tigers and his mother was the one who encouraged him to take care of one ( much to his father’s reluctance), thus Rana became his new family member. Many of his suitresses cringed at the sight of Rana whom they saw as a dirty, wild animal. Sometimes Jaseem’s father had no choice but to order the guards to take Rana away in order to force Jaseem to follow his schedule , which made him even more depressed.

Eventually, Jaseem had reached his breaking point during one of the parties and wanted to escape his “cage” even bringing Rana with him. It was then he met a young, white haired boy in the greenhouse. Jaseem couldn’t hold back his tears when the boy comforted him, claiming that he can share the same sentiments. It was after they were called to the main event where Jaseem learnt that the boy was no other than Kalim Al Asim, the oldest son and soon-to-be heir of one of the richest families in the world and his cousin.

From that moment onwards, the two spent their childhood days together basking in the sunlight and running around the mansion. They confided in each other, became each other’s source of strength to keep doing their best( this was especially stronger for Jaseem towards Kalim). They drifted a little after entering higher education, but still keep in contact.

For Jaseem, Kalim is the definition of the sun. Had he not met this smiley boy showing off his unique magic and telling him how he must continue to do his best as not only the heir but as an older brother too, Jaseem would have had a different fate and never face his reality. This explains why he hates Jamil to the core after knowing what he had done when he overblotted.

Current lifestyle for Jaseem was no different from his younger days, he still attends arranged marriage meetings (fewer due to school) and gets numerous phonecalls from his father about countries they have to fly to for business conferences. Jaseem became more adept at his dealings with women and can twist meetings to end faster to save his time to do something useful.. like picking a new silk ribbon for Rana. 🐯

Relationships

Kalim

Cousins by blood and childhood best friends. While many students in NRC thinks Kalim is way too carefree, Jaseem would cut in and tell them off as Kalim is not the oblivious rich boy many thinks he is.

He respects Kalim’s motto to be kind to others, lend a helping hand when needed and staying positive despite the challenges life throws at him. Jaseem wishes to protect this precious spirit, praying that Kalim will have nothing but happiness in his life. Jaseem truly looks up to Kalim for being able to smile through everything he’s been through, believing that he wouldn’t even survive a day in that household knowing he might not live to see the next day.

Jaseem can be extremely over protective of Kalim especially when Jamil is around. “I can’t let that damn snake cause any harm to my cousin..”he would think angrily while glaring at Jamil💀

Jamil

If not for the sake of his family image and Kalim Jaseem would have pummeled Jamil to the ground for the things he said and had done to Kalim. While he tries his best to understand Kalim, Jaseem still cannot fathom why he’d want to keep this traitor who doesn’t even consider him a friend by his side.

Unlike his caring and soft self when he is with Kalim, Jaseem treats Jamil like a mere servant and only replies with direct commands. Sometimes he would mock Jamil for the sake of belittling him, but would not stoop as low as to bring his family into it. The atmosphere around these two can be very intense indeed.

If Jaseem learns to see the overblot incident from Jamil’s point of view, perhaps he will come to understand that the two of them aren’t so different after all.

Najma

One of the few girls he respects, Jaseem is like a second older brother to Najma. Of course Najma catches on quick and can tell that Jaseem isn’t exactly fond of her brother, so she has to constantly remind Jaseem to stop frowning whenever he spots Kalim and Jamil together. He tries his best to be nicer to Jamil, but only because Najma wouldn’t stop nagging at him 🤣

Bonus: Rielle

If you’ve seen my old comics about my RSA ocs i often draw Jaseem and Rielle bickering 🤣 Jaseem thinks Rielle is incompetent and has dad issues while Rielle views Jaseem as a weirdo who is way too protective of his cousin, also why would any sane person bring a TIGER to school??

Fun facts about Jaseem’s design

He carries a waist pouch filled with Rana’s treats, various silk ribbons, water dispenser, comb and toys ( just to name a few). The pouch is magically altered to carry many items.

The tiger plush keychain was a gift from his mother when his parents brought him to an amusement park on his birthday. Jaseem did not have the best experience as he was constantly surrounded by guards and journalists, no other children wanted to play with the renowned heir too.

His seemingly blue day turned upside down when he spotted a cute tiger plush in the souvenir shop, thinking about how it looks exactly like Rana. Jaseem’s mother noticed his adoration for the fluffy toy on the top shelf and asked the staff to order one for Jaseem. Even though this silly fabric toy could not compare to the vast amount of gold and expensive gifts Jaseem received, he saw his mother’s gift as something invaluable that money can’t buy.

Till this day he still brings his tiger plush around with him chained to his waist pouch. Though it looks rather dull after being used for years, you can still tell how well washed and cared for it is by its owner.

I struggled trying to incorporate Jasmine’s hairband into the design but for now its a turquoise strand of hair that starts from the top of his head so it looks like a hairband! Its also Jaseem’s way of exploring with his own style knowing that he is far away from his home and strict upbringing. The first time Jaseem dyed his hair he thought “So this is what its like to be rebellious..interesting” 🤣

His earrings are different, the one on the right is a slightly thick gold piece ( OG Jasmine) while the left is a decorative earring with small, dangling chains and a huge jewel ( Live action Jasmine). I thought it would be cool to incorporate both earrings as I couldn’t settle on one.

END

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed Jaseem too, I’m really happy with the response for Alison haha 😭 Till next time!

*Also I know someone addressed it before but I mean to express Jaseem’s love towards Kalim as familial, nothing more. How you choose to see my OCs is up to your interpretation so long as you don’t twist my words and stories i wrote for them :)

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanart #twst oc #yaoyao_twstoc #Jaseem #kalim al asim #jamil viper

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stillboredbuttrying · 1 month

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Unheard - Hozier (2024):

1. I have one life and I'm not gonna waste it living someone else's idea of good :)

2. The grief and sorrow are persistent, but so is healing and rebirth

3. Fuck England and whoever try to suppress our freedom, we will win our freedom back

4. I'm gonna experience everything to its fullest even if it leads to my downfall

#hozier #unheard #I'm so not normal about this #I will not think about anything else for the next days #I didn't know these songs were coming and now I'm shocked #They are so good #Hozier is such an amazing poet

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mikareo · 6 months

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megumi doing smth pls

⌗ THIRTEEN YEARS ₊ ˖ ་. megumi fushiguro x fem reader (2.6k)

⊹ ⠀⠀ 3 times megumi wants to tell you he loves you, and the 1 time he does.

contains; attack on titan au, marleyan!megumi, eldian!reader, aot spoilers!!! (season 4), forbidden lovers, fluff, angst, kissing, major character death, cannabalism? (titans), annie cameo! author's note; here u get an old draft (psa none of this will make sense if you haven't watched attack on titan!!!!)

i. what is love at first sight

it's almost human instinct; knowing which people are more likely to have good fortune. some are simply born with an advantage— these people having the freedom to walk along the river bank, skip flattened rocks down streams, and laugh with their peers. with families who shop in the market together, hand-in-hand with woven baskets strewn over their shoulders, and all the time in the world to live their lives to the absolute fullest as true freelancers facing the rising sun that sees tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.

but in the truth of it all...the sun doesn't shine on everyone.

there are countless amounts of souls who aren't as blessed as marleyans like megumi. souls entangled with the devil herself, ymir, a woman who singlehandedly birthed the 'race from hell'...which he's never fully agreed with. everyone he knows refers to eldians as humanity's sin, but it's not their fault their biology is simply different.

humans are humans, right? they've done no wrong by being born. especially the warrior candidate he's been staring at for the past hour from a distance. you can't be that bad. after all, you're beautiful.

okay, yes. he has a little crush. he can't help it! one day, he was minding his own business on a walk home from the lab, when gojo had the bright idea of sneaking a peak at the warrior training. that's when megumi first saw you and his world stopped. sure, you were covered in mud and crawling through trenches with a rifle strapped to your back; but that didn't make him any less awestruck. since then he's hidden himself in the same bush, week after week, just to get a glimpse of your face.

"she's a cutie. you've got good taste." okay, creepy.

megumi rolls his eyes, glancing up at his mentor who's the only person who knows of his little secret. "don't you have women to harass?"

"ouch, sassed by a ten year old. i see how it is." gojo chuckles, ruffling his black hair and crouching down to the younger boy's level. "you see her out there? she's killing it. i heard she's the top contender for the female."

"i hope so." his blue eyes are locked on you, watching as your focused expression turns to determination whilst helping your teammate off the ground. "she'll have a better chance of living that way."

"...and maybe your family will let you meet her."

ugh, his family. since he was six, the zenin's have raised him with their questionable values and ideals. as the leading researchers in the modern world, they've revolutionized how eldians are studied! at least that's what he's been told. to be frank, he doesn't care about the right or wrong battle they've propagandized to the rest of humanity. all he cares about is knowing your name and telling you how pretty your eyes are.

"i want to talk to her, at least once." his voice is quiet, but gojo hears.

"why? you wanna tell her you love her?"

he hates him so much.

"no!" megumi exclaims, pushing back the older man in defense. his cheeks are bright red from embarrassment and he can feel the flames emitting from them. "i just want to be her friend, that's all. why do you always make things so weird?"

it's amusing to gojo how his little friend is so flustered. usually megumi is a shy boy, keeping to himself and avoiding contact with his peers; but whenever the conversation topic is you, he seems to perk up...and gojo loves to tease a lovestruck kid.

"don't worry," he smirks, "you'll understand your feelings when you're older. you don't need to tell her quite yet that you love her."

love you?

"just shut up and let me watch." megumi grumbles, resting his head in his hands as you're jumping up and down after being praised by your captain. he wishes he could make you that happy one day. "it's not love, i'm serious."

he'll understand what love means when he gets older. for now, he'll just imagine confessing.

ii. what is love that is forbidden

you're a lot more annoying than he thought you'd be.

after having been selected as the new female titan, your ego is boasting with energy and won't stop boasting no matter how often megumi tells you to zip it. though he was excited to meet you, his thirteen year old self now wishes you'd give him a moment of peace. instead, you insist on following him around whenever and wherever you can and yapping his ear off with comments on everyone and everything about your day. please, just give him a break.

"uh, fushiguro..."

he sighs with exhaustion. "what?"

"i think i locked us in here."

dammit.

"you forgot the key?" he asks.

"i forgot the key." you confirm.

of course you did.

with an exhausted grumble, megumi settles himself on the cold, cement floor of the supply closet you'll both call home for the next few hours. it's both of your days off, but he'd wanted to prep his supplies for his training on monday; to which you, of course, invited yourself along for the ride. you'll stay out of the way. it's fine, he can just ignore you. that's what he told himself...though, it's impossible for him to ignore you.

it's likely that no one will visit the storage room until the evening time— with most of his colleagues at home with their families, cooking a warm meal with lamb and stew. it's also uncommon for any of the researchers to be in liberio on their off days. megumi's just the special kind that doesn't think he'll be plagued by breathing the same air as eldians.

"mind if i join you?" he knows you're asking a rhetorical question and you know he'd never reject you.

with a small plop, you take a seat next to him. he's used to your warmth by now— considering you to be an essential part of his every day, despite how much he enjoys complaining about you— and leans his head against yours. it's obvious that you're sleepy. though, you never indulge in conversations about your training, megumi is well aware of how overworked you are. he can't imagine fighting in wars at this age, especially wars in which you're fourteen meters tall and smashing through brick walls; which is why he tries his best to be there for you when you need him.

your life is a battlefield and he's the peaceful conclusion.

"you know..." the sound of your voice is faint, a great contrast to your usual noise and megumi can tell something is wrong. "when they find us here, they're going to think i kidnapped you."

"i mean what else would the zenin heir be doing with a titan shifter?" you start to choke on your words and he instinctively wraps his arms around you. "you don't need to comfort me, fushiguro. we both know i'm going to be punished after this. you can't apologize and make everything okay like usual."

to your surprise, his pointer finger touches your cheek and gently wipes away your running tears. "...fushiguro—"

"it won't always be like this." he interrupts you, cupping your face as if you're a rare gem that he can't afford breaking. "when i'm in charge, i'm going to change things. you won't have to do this anymore. i won't let them do this to you anymore!"

the two of you are a mess on the floor, crying in each others arms, and wishing that the world was a better place. "you still have thirteen years left. please...please keep fighting for me. i promise i'm going to save you."

"fushiguro..."

"call me by my first name."

"...megumi."

you're beautiful. he wants to kiss you so badly, but he knows now isn't the time. he wants to hold your hand in public, but he knows you'll be berated for doing so. he wants to tell you he loves you, but he's too afraid.

megumi fushiguro is a coward.

...but he's a coward in love; and one day, when he's taller and stronger, he's going to be able to tell you that. he's going to be able to protect you.

iii. what is love that is hopeless

"hold still." megumi's voice is soft, his fingers of the same gentle malice as they tend to your open wounds that haven't quite healed yet. with titan steam wafting from the slashes scattering your forearms and shoulders, they blow into his face in a fury of pain. "dammit, i said hold still."

his brings both arms down to your shoulders, heart breaking at the sight of you wincing in retaliation to his force, but carries on. there's no telling what you would've gotten yourself into if he hadn't insisted he care for your wounds; after making it publicly known that he's to be the only researcher allowed within your vicinity after your tireless warrior missions, none of the other researchers even attempt to get near you. he hates how often you put yourself in harms way in order to save your comrades. you're too brave. you've never been just a warrior of marley, but more or less a warrior of all people.

"i've been sitting here for an hour already, megumi." you roll your eyes, swinging your legs over the metal rims and turning to face your very pissed off best friend. "i'm tired and i'd like to get at least an hour of sleep tonight."

his expression is somewhat terrifying. if you didn't know megumi was such a scaredy cat, you'd be intimidated by his reddened cheeks and eyes of fury. it's almost as if he's an inflamed torch held against fluorescent lighting, pasty and saturated in fear and exhaustion. "i need to make sure you're okay."

"well, i have another plane to catch at dawn," you deflect his concerns. "there's some issue i was assigned to when i landed this morning. i guess one of our enemies isn't afraid of titans yet."

"you're not going."

he's firm in his statement. megumi doesn't like how his colleagues take advantage of you and your abilities. they're working you to skin and bones. if they were the ones checking up on you after every battle they'd know so, but they wouldn't treat you with as much care. his only wish in the world is to keep you safe, which he's doing an awful job at as of yet. "i don't want you getting more hurt than you already are."

"as if it matters." you scoff, leaning towards him in an attempt to get him to back off. "i'll just give 'em a little taste of my titan and they'll run away like mice. it's easy, 'gumi. trust me—"

"life isn't a game!" he's furious.

"well mine is!" you're angry as well.

why don't you get it? why can't you just run away with him?

"i only have four years left! four years, megumi! i don't care if i die tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that. i'm going to either way. you don't have that problem. you don't understand."

without warning, his lips are on yours in his best attempt to stop you from spouting all of his fears and worries from your mouth. he doesn't want to hear it. he just wants to pretend none of it is happening, and you're going to be okay. you are going to be okay. he'll make sure of it.

it takes a moment for you to respond until your intertwined in a feverish kiss that sends his medical supplies clanging to the floor— but megumi doesn't care about order, all he cares about now is being as close to you as possible. he's dreamt of this moment for years. what you taste like...feel like...sound like. he knows you're his soulmate. what he doesn't know is why it's taken him so long to kiss you.

but before your connection can move forward and become something more, your touch is gone.

"i'm sorry, i can't do this." there are tears creeping from the corners of your beautiful eyes. "i—"

he calls out your name as your figure dashes out the door, wishing that he was able to confess. he wants to tell you he loves you so badly; except he doesn't have the bravery he needs. with four more years left, megumi has two things on his agenda.

1.) find a way to save you.

2.) tell you he's yours forever.

iv. what is love everlasting

he's finally become a monster like the rest of them.

from the first time he saw you, he told himself he'd be your savior. he made countless promises that he'd find a way for eldians and marleyans to live in peace, that he'd find a way to save you from this shitty war; only to be the very person to lock you in chains, awaiting imminent death as the next female titan will be born.

megumi wanted to be brave. he wanted to stop being such a coward, but some people just aren't capable of changing so much— and what a disappointment that is.

"hey, fushiguro?" when did you stop calling him by his first name? "can you keep a secret?"

he's not supposed to be civil with you. his orders are to chain you up, inject the child, and watch as she devours you; but you're his weakness. he can't resist you. "of course i can."

a smile graces your lips. it's not a smile of happiness or joy...it's one of anguish and pain. "i wish i ran away with you. i should've run away with you. even though we only had four years, we could've been happy."

why are you saying all of this?

now of all times?

you should've told him years ago! you should've let him know your secrets before he let them change him! before he distanced himself from you and became distracted with his work!

"...megumi..."

"yes?" he's desperate to hear you.

"...i don't want to die."

a thought crosses his mind. it's a scene in which two main characters beat all odds and escape the chains and prisons they've faced, running off into the sunset, never to be seen again. this scene has a happy ending, one where there's a small and intimate wedding with no witnesses except the meadow's flowers. he lifts your veil away from your eyes and murmurs sweet nothings as you kiss him to start off your forever. his heart wants that to be true. he wants that to be true. it's too late, though. you have no time left. your thirteen years is up. his thirteen years of knowing you is up. it's time to say goodbye.

"i can't save you." he's struggling to get his words out while maintaining his composure; and your heart breaks as his promise does as well. "i'm sorry."

he's a monster.

you hang your head, nodding and accepting your fate as he makes his way down the stairs. seeing you like that, knowing what your fate is, almost causes megumi to pass out from lightheadedness. he knows he shouldn't be worrying about himself. after all, you're the one who's about to die. he has a whole lifetime to continue living, and your lifetime was a mere twenty-six years.

gently, he takes the newest warriors hands and tells her what he's about to do. the blonde girl nods along to his words, trying her best to ignore your radiating hopelessness as she's about to become the next you; and megumi injects his needle into her neck.

he wants to look away so badly as she grows into a pure titan with eyes locked on your frail body, but he doesn't want it to end like this. there's gotta be something that he can do to help you. anything to save you from this fate; but to no avail, he's powerless. so powerless that the only thing he manages to do is mouth three seemingly meaningless words as he locks eyes with you.

"i love you."

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

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drchucktingle · 1 year

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Henry Borkins has the Sunday scaries, but when his friend encourages him to take a vacation day, Henry is thrilled by the newfound freedom. He decides to use this fresh lease on life to enjoy one of his favorite pastimes—walking around Billings. Unfortunately, Henry becomes so enraptured with his long walks that he refuses to stop, constantly looping around the city in a never-ending quest to live life to its fullest. Ironically, this infinite stroll ends up becoming a lot of work. Everything changes when Henry meets the physical manifestation of work and the physical manifestation of life, these two distinct forces teaching him the importance of finding a healthy balance… with a hardcore bisexual encounter. This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sizzling bisexual human on physically manifest concept threesome action.

----

please enjoy new tingler BISEXUALLY SATISFIED BY MY HEALTHY WORK/LIFE BALANCE out now on amazon or true buckaroo tier patreon

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deltamb3r · 4 months

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What is your analysis and interpretation of Lamb’s character? How do you see them from the game story to your AU?

Mhh...

To my AU we have a Lamb that for most of their younghood has been living in a warm community of sheep over the edge of the Lands until a raid happen and witnessed all of them being killed. They had their innocence, as well as all what was important to them being taken away. They were scared and hopeless.

Until they were called in by The One who Waits. As he offered the crown, Lamb had gained a spark of hope the maybe at the end they could have their kind back. They were grateful for the opportunity of having life back again and for it to have a meaning. Not to say that starting a Cult was that easy, fortunately they had Ratau's guidance back then. They were genuinely happy to build a shelter for animals who were looking for a new place to live in and hoped to build a community as warm as their own, but much different was when they were on crusades, they mastered the art of weaponry and became a cold, merciless killer against the heretics who took everything away from them. Even The One who Waits was aware of their coldness when summoned to him.

Months passed. Years passed. Decades passed. Lamb became a beloved leader oh their humble and ever growing cult, but within them they felt more and more lonely, as they watched people coming and dying, unable to create everlasting bounds of friendship or relationships alike. Their genuine smile was replace by a facade. Their only recurring acquitances being their mentor every once in a while, and their Lord.

When the moment of freeing The One who Waits finally arrived, Lamb was doubtful wether requesting the resurrection of their kind, but every hope they had was crushed as their Lord requested their sacrifice for his freedom. Accepting the fact that their God wasn't any different than his siblings, they challenge him and the fighting ensues. Lamb in the end wins over The One who Waits, now Narinder, and over deciding to take revenge, they decided to spare him. After all he was the only living being left in the wole ordeal who could understand them. Of course they kept distance from them as long as possible without interacting with Narinder at all, just observing from afar his adjustments to mortal life (and freedom), but not without a punishment first.

Very long time passed, however it did not heal both of their wounds. Both of them started regretting their life choices. Lamb wanted to live, to have their family back but had no idea how to use their power to its fullest. Narinder calmed down eventually and realized that in his freedom was feeling empty without his family. They were alone, but in loneliness, at least they had each other.

Their healing was slow, few hundreds of years passed. Both of them had scars and that became a catalyst for an eventual change of conversation. Their conversation added more and more to the mix, and the duo found comfort in talking to each other. As they opened up more, Lamb's smile around Narinder became more real. They felt less lonely with him around, as they had hoped.

And in the end they ended up as having more than a unlikely friendship. Lamb shows their real feelings around Narinder and vice versa. They know whatever is going to face them, they know they're not alone anymore.

however, the seed of doubt blossoms deep within them...

And that will lead to consequences.

#ask #cult of the lamb #scarlet oblivion au #cotl au #cotl #lamb cotl #narinder #the one who waits #narilamb #true devotion

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fleursbending · 1 year

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𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫. | Neteyam Sully

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : green is all you see, and for once it's not because you live in the midst of the damn jungle. it's because envy and greed consume you. what's the root cause of it? neteyam and your supposed friend who is trying to definitely charm him.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 : “This—” [points at their chest] “—this belongs to you. Always.”

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : neteyam sully x fem!omaticaya reader.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : requested, yes | no. hellooo idk where this came from, but here we are at least another request done! just wanted to put a lil something out because the songcords are some chonky mfs and taking some time! so hope you enjoy. this is loosely based on "my heart it beats for you" - grentperez (filo represent!)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : jealousy, flirting w/o clear consent?, neteyam is so boyfie/bbg here, protective!nete, ur friend is an asshat, hurt/comfort, established relationship, cussing, fluff yippee!

𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 : olo’eyktan - clan leader, yaymak - foolish/ignorant, tsamsiyu - warrior, oeyä - my (possessive), hawnu - protect/shelter, muntxate - wife/mate.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.5k words !

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 : @pandorainmymind @eywas-heir @spicycloudsalad @missdreamofendless @prty-poisxn @scarlettwitch-4 @23victoria @avidreader3107 @purplehyacinthss-deactivated202 @itssiaaax @neteyamoa @tsireyasgf @nijirozzz @useryourbut @yua-himari @sweetheartlizzie07 @grierpilots @reneehillary69 @fruitsalad1 @forasgaard @iwaslikeblah @dumb-fawkin-bitch @theicemav @narutoboi @azaleaniath @goosemothersblog

𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐄 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇, especially if you have to witness the cause of such erratic inner turmoil.

She hadn't meant to wander this close to the training grounds, and truthfully she had no clue how her little detour brought her here.

Alas, perhaps she'd gravitated here for a reason. After all, Neteyam was training some warriors-to-be, and maybe now she could catch a glimpse of him in action without disrupting the lesson.

She missed him, the consistent need of kissing him like the ocean does to the tide as it retreats back to shore. It held her heart in a monumental lock, Neteyam had infiltrated her thoughts once again. To be fair, she could not be blamed for this - they'd barely been around each other the past few days.

Jake had become even sterner, prepping his son for when he'd take the mantle of Olo'ekytan as it is handed down to him. It had Neteyam wishing he could talk back, just simply out of spite. To demand some room, freedom to spend more time with you. But the only thing keeping him grounded and sane was the fact that perhaps once this is all over, and he has secured his place as the leader of the clan - maybe then things would settle. He'd get to be around you more, even if it is through lingering touches and a fuse charged to his heart due to the yearning glances from across two ends of a place in their home in the midst of the forest.

His desire to cross the finish line had increased by tenfold at the mere thoughts flittering in his brimming mind. To start a family with you, live his life to the fullest with you…that was all he's yearned for.

But now she's cursing herself, feet stomping onto the forest ground with uncertainty brewing deep in her bones. ___ did not know whether or not to be pissed beyond belief or let her heart sink into the doubts already sneering at her.

Because through the thick branches, she stood behind to peer into the training grounds, the sight before her was certainly something to behold.

Training my ass! Speaking of ass, is she pressing hers into- what the actual fuck?

Her heart drummed in her ears, and suddenly fury fills her veins until she feels ashamed. Is this what has been going on all this time? How could her friend act on the attractions that she seemed to very obviously have? Neteyam was spoken for.

___ best friend stood a good few metres away from where she had unintentionally hidden, pressed too closely to Neteyam as he tries to readjust her stance and the way she grips her bow.

That coniving little… ___ had already taught the ins and outs of how to control her bow and how to aim it. They did this months ago. She wanted to give her friend the benefit of the doubt, maybe she just needed some touching up? But why wouldn't she have just gone to you?

Such questions fizzle out as her eyes cut to your own, unnerving and edging on callousness. Oh, so this definitely was purposeful.

She knows more than anyone else that her boyfriend is capable of holding his own, but sometimes - he is just a little dense. Especially around the ladies of the clan, and the fact that every female (even males) wants a piece of him.

Not even just to be the Tsahik of the future Olo'ekytan, but because he inherited the beauty of his mother - the roughness of his father. He also had a very protective demeanor, never hesitating to be vocal about his genuine adoration for you - or back you up when a situation demanded of it.

It lights a fuse in the back of your mind then, a raging insistent thought that you'd try to tone down the moment you realised that you were each other's, person. That hopefully nothing was going to come of the way of that.

But your supposed friend is definitely coming in the way of you acting civil right now.

Maybe you just weren't good enough for him, never able to live up to everything Neteyam is known for and will come to be.

Jake had told Neteyam that he could begin to train other like-minded Na'vi - the people of the Omaticaya that wanted to become warriors. Saying in the same sentence how his dear friend Tsu'tey used to do the same.

It instilled him with great pride and honor, which he was undeniably blinded by in this current moment as your friends' fingertips graze his arm in a very flirtatious manner.

Disdain clawed at your skin then, making you want to scratch at your arms. Did she willingly sign up for these lessons? Yaymak, she's taking up the time of true soon-to-be warriors who await more proper training.

She lets out a loud and very obnoxious giggle, and Neteyam doesn't acknowledge a thing - still too focused on the lesson. The fuse imploded then.

All the doubts came gushing in at once, searing to your skin as envy wilts around your conscience. Green is all you see, and for once it's not because you live in the midst of the damn jungle. It's because envy and greed consume you. Betrayal too, towards the friend you lost and your lover who was too focused on living up to the legacy of two influential men of the clan.

Oh maybe, just maybe you had to unwillingly entertain such detrimental thoughts.

There's a reason why the clan is so unbashful in their efforts of trying to claim Neteyam as their one and only mate for a lifetime.

You weren't enough in their eyes.

You'd come from a mediocre family, hunters on the bottom of the hierarchy - nothing remotely remarkable.

Nothing compared to your soon-to-be ex-friend who is inching her way closer into Neteyam's chest - whose mother is also incredibly close to Neytiri.

___ was really wishing for Eywa right about now. That the atkorinas that had danced among the sky and brushed your shoulders when you and Neteyam shared your first kiss, were not something she had hopelessly imagined.

With fists clenched, Neteyam releases the arrow. Bullseye.

"Yep, that's how I do it." He just smiles down at her respectfully, stepping back unintentionally as he reloads his bow to demonstrate it one more time.

The girl inflicting all this bitterness and resentment frowned then, before turning slightly and meeting your teary eyes once again.

She knew you were there and was still doing this? Yeah, she can rot in hell.

In an instant, she squeals, but it's still a late reaction to what he had just shown - jumping to him and giving Neteyam an audacious hug.

Great mother, she was testing your resolve. Your claim. ___ can't do this, can't bare witness to such crude manners and undeterred actions from someone she had confided in and befriended for a large part of her life.

Before you knew it, you were fumbling, feet stepping on a hollow stick.

Snap. It echoes in the now still air, missing how Neteyam had flinched and retreated from her hug immediately. His features darkened as he spat out, "Don't touch me like that. You are here to learn, so learn."

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Two heads whip towards you as ___ bolts off, not daring to take a quick glance back at where you had left your broken heart.

Neteyam is only just able to catch a glimpse of who had suddenly retreated, dread drenching him in a mere half second once everything falls into place.

It was his yawntu.

The need to please his father and live up to the great hold his uncle Tsu'tey still had on his people sputters, becoming an afterthought.

"How dare you take advantage of me like this?" He thunders at the now floundering girl.

She gapes and stutters. But nothing flows through his ears. How pathetic.

"You're her best friend!" He hissed, ears laying flat in vexation.

Once again nothing leaves her suddenly parched mouth, and it leaves him utterly cross. Neteyam decides then to drag salt across the wound.

"You are not capable of being a warrior, especially if you cannot take my lessons seriously. I suggest you head back to where you belong because I will not teach someone as lousy as you - ever - again." He glowered, snatching the practice bow out of her hands and proceeding to not only snap it in half - but throw it on the ground as well.

"Neteyam!" She desperately calls at the same time he yells out for you, running in the same direction he had seen you flee.

He doesn't bother to pivot and throw more spite at the already frightened girl who had tried to make advances on him, it was her fault they got caught in that position (literally).

The ever-so-mighty tsamiyu now feels like he is shackled to the forest floor as he calls out for you again, frowning as his feet dig into the soil beneath him once finally finds you.

There you are, winsome as you quietly sob into the palm of your hands that cover the aggrieved expression that painted your features. The waterfall cascaded down on you as you pushed yourself to sit inside the little cave that had created itself over the years right behind it.

A jolt ripples through ___ as Neteyam instinctively brings you into a hug the moment he reaches you, pressing repetitive kisses to your forehead.

You let yourself feel the wrath of your thoughts then, right at their peak - so you can come to terms with them. They can settle and move away from having you anchored down like you were currently.

A gut-wrenching sigh ebbed out of you then, whispering to Neteyam apologetically.

"I know, I know it's not your fault. I'm sorry I reacted this way."

He just shakes his head in turmoil then, features hardened at the thought of you having to witness him try to be swayed by someone who he didn't find trifling interest in. Someone who had been in your inner circle of friends.

Neteyam felt scorned, struggling to find words that can appease both of you. This is all unexplored territory to him, he'd never had to deal with someone so bold that was also trying to get with him. The eldest Sully is so unapologetically enamored, essentially soaking in all the love and devotion he has for you. There's so much of it to go around, that even his heart sometimes grapples with where to place it all.

He necessitated, tone yearning for you to see him. "I hope you know, these were never my intentions. To hurt you, for her to act so-...for it to turn out - I was trying to appease my father and it's just been-"

You cut him off, understanding and knowing all too well of the troubles and responsibilities that have been bestowed upon him and weigh heavily on his broad shoulders.

"Nete, I know. Really, it's just my mind playing games with me. It is not your fault that she decided to, well - ruin our friendship. You also did not deserve such treatment when time is already not on your side right now. I'm sorry for that."

___ doesn't meet his eyes, instead her own are downcast - allowing her hair to hang like a curtain over her blotchy face due to the tears that she had just shed.

"___." He utters with purpose, hands moving to push your damp hair back and away from your face.

You hum lowly, eyes still holding a peculiar melancholy and distant as ever.

His hand pressing to your heart is what shatters you from the reverie.

Neteyam's amber eyes are fierce, bold, and enraptured with the deepest appreciation for you.

Now he knows he holds your attention,

“This—”, he points to his chest then, vehemently and with such precision it has your heart stilling for a moment, “—this belongs to you. Always.”

A shudder breaks from your lips then, astounded and in awe that he is all yours. Shaking hands fold over his that still are motioning to his own heart.

The heart that had been ever so charmed by your delightful presence, so effortlessly whole due to the affections you bestowed upon him over the years of his childhood up til now.

You're each other's eternities, aligned with the stars and the atkorina's. ___ is sure of it now.

He'd orbit around you as long as you wished for him to. A shield and a protector for this lifetime and the ones that followed. Neteyam liked to believe that if there was another life, you'd fall right into place beside one another. That your love would just shift and begin again.

If only he knew you thought the exact same thing, especially now as you just appreciate Neteyam for all that he is and who he'll come to be. He has big shoes to fill, but you know he'll be just fine.

"As does mine. Always." You whisper with consolation, delicate and saccharine.

His heart squeezes, hands darting away from yours to cup your face as he let his head dip into yours.

It was a movement that was second-hand nature to him now, a daily occurrence of sorts.

Neteyam breathes you in, letting your aura wrap around his being.

Your arms capture him in return, fingers trailing down the divots that line his spine as he allows himself to melt into your hold. Tension fusing into ease.

"You're not mad at me?" He questions, mindlessly playing with a strand of your still-damp hair.

"I'm not mad at you, oeyä hawnu."

His heart flutters then, a light blush dusting his cheeks. He shyly whines into the nape of your neck, your response is to giggle in return.

"You know what calling me that, does to me! I guess it's time to once again show my affection to you in front of all the people!"

You squeal his name as he suddenly lifts you up, throwing over you his shoulder as he wades out into the real world and across the water, away from your little bubble.

Bursts of laughter mingle with the bustling sounds of nature as he makes his way back to your home base.

Neteyam will gladly let everyone know how devoted he is to you, to make sure they know that he isn't kidding around when he said you'd be his future muntxate.

In his heart and soul, he knew you were the only person Pandora made for him in the eyes of Eywa. That's how it always will be, is the thought that springs to both of your minds in that very moment. The great mother wishes then she could give you a sign then, but she rectifies herself then.

Your heart beats when with each other speaks enough.

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡ // a/n: i tried using ___ instead of y/n cos i was getting tired of it lmk if that's ok. also LMAOO i imagined the waterfall as the hsm2 scene, the pool iyky!

#junie's library 📚✧.*#— junie & the prompts ☆ﾐ #neteyam x y/n #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam #avatar the way of water #atwow x reader #atwow #avatar imagine #avatar x reader #avatar fanfiction #avatar #james cameron avatar #missing neteyam hours !#i missed writing for him #avatar 2 #neteyam fluff

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metamorphesque · 1 year

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The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.

― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

#rainer maria rilke #letters to a young poet #on marriage #quotes #literature #classic literature #translated literature #rilke

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essenteez · 2 years

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𝐑 𝐎 𝐎 𝐌 𝐌 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄 || m i n g i

"She is rare and real. I'm not letting her go."

"He was attracted to rawness and realness, to sharp edges and straightforwardness. And when suddenly, you dropped the act of perfectionist he, in fact, disliked and revealed your true nature, you became all what he needed in a woman that his hands, lips and tongue were so eager to worship."

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : after failed attempt to impress your handsome roommate, you decided to stop making a fool out of yourself and went back to the old, unimpressive you. Lack of dress code around the house and general chaos came back for good. Little did you know, the "hard-to-impress" roommate began to see you with very...very different eyes.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : m i n o r s d o n o t i n t e r a c t , explicit language, fingering (f/recieving), intense cunnigulins, doggy style, cum on a back, unprotected sex, mdom, hair pulling.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Mingi x (f)reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : smut, little fluff, body imperfections appreciation

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 5k

07.35 pm. Friday evening. Everyone's favorite.

A moment of relief and appreciated freedom. A precious time of your boss having no power to control you. Your annoying coworkers are nowhere to be found to screech above your head. A piece of paradise where you can begin to enjoy the weekend to the fullest.

Of course, it depends on people and their individual understanding of what "to the fullest" means. To you, it meant laying in bed, in the most comfy clothes, binge watching anime while devouring not so healthy food, drinks and snacks.

You craved McDonald's today. No, you actually had been craving it since the early hours of Monday. And now it was time for you to treat yourself, give in to pure indulgence. No one could oppose this polygamy relationship between you, BigMac, chicken nuggets, fries and Sprite tonight.

Thankfully, you could skip the usage of the restaurant app, many a times they screwed up your order. You overheard your roommate talking something about leaving to help his friend with something. He could easily pick up your food on his way back and bring it right into your gluttonous arms. What a lucky day.

You giggled in pure happiness.

The man's movements stopped abruptly. His arm hung midair with half of it already in the sleeve of the black jean jacket.

Your sudden disgustingly adorable giggles caught Mingi's attention as he stepped in the living room, trying to get to the hall. He unconsciously gazed in the direction of the sounds of joy. His sight was flooded by the light inside your room, door opened just enough for his eyes to almost see your bare bottom on display.

Only God knew how much he wished he didn't look.

"Fuck." He mumbled as quietly as he could, thanking the noises coming from your laptop for hiding the growl his throat pushed out.

The rapid increase of his pulse and need for deeper breaths, made him throw spirited curses to his own self. Nevertheless, the black eyes studied you in silence.

He seemed to examine you like one of the paintings on the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, even though you laid there on your belly, only in your oversized, gray T-shirt and cotton panties with some pink ribbons on it. You were kicking the air with your feet hidden in socks that dazzled eyes with bright yellow baby chicks.

With resistance, his arm finally submerged into the jacket's sleeve, but still, Mingi didn't move from his spot. His legs simply refused to listen to their master. Boldly watching you, he seemed to be studying your uncovered parts by heart.

Your full thighs that looked as if they were inviting him to grab a handful of them. The slight cellulite that only proved how juicy your flesh was. It was almost painful to watch you, so unaware that you were fulfilling all his kinks and fantasies.

He clenched his teeth at the sudden throb between his legs.

He had to leave. Now. Of course due to business to tend to, but mostly because he was a heartbeat away from falling on his knees, crawling to you and begging you to let him touch you.

Despite the rational realization, he did not move an inch.

Your stretch marks glistened in the lamps light like translucent tattoos. He couldn't stop the sudden images of him kissing each one of them in his head.

The worst was yet to come as his eyes landed on the folds of your ass emerging from underneath the panties. The rolls of flesh where your thighs connected with your butt awakened a destructive urge to sink his fingers around them, to kiss and bite.

The unforgiving pulsing in his pants almost made him storm in your room. He needed to try to gain control again, he was not a wild beast after all.

Pinching the skin on his forearm, Mingi hissed at the unpleasant feeling.

"I'm leaving! I'll be back in two, three hours!"

He yelled this information more to remind himself rather than you. With clenched fists, he forced his legs to walk up the door.

"Mingi!"

No, please stay where you are, he thought panicked.

He didn't dare to turn around in case you jumped out in front of him

"Yeah?" No one knew how much effort he put in that one word.

"Could you buy me McDonald's on your way back? The usual!?"

Thank God, you were too lazy to leave the room but the sweet tone you had made him wrapped around your finger, made the devil on his shoulder laugh like a Disney villain. You must sound absolutely heavenly when you begged for other things in your mouth.

"Ok!" he agreed, voice slightly breaking but firm. He shook away the thoughts before he turned back around and said them aloud.

***

Mingi's tone sounded somewhat annoyed, making you think.

"Maybe I should've used the app instead."

Feeling bad, you looked in the darkness outside of your room after hearing the door begin to shut. You didn't manage to see him but what you did notice was your door being way more opened than what you remember it was.

Your frowned eyes lowered to your lower body. Slightly judging your naked legs, you realized your shirt was rolled up your waist which revealed your whole ass and your favorite panties.

"Oops."

Mingi either walked right past your room and didn't notice anything or he saw you with all of your grace. It took you a long second laying in stillness, trying to look for some sort of embarrassment in yourself, but eventually you rolled back on your belly.

"Ah, never mind" you shrugged and went back to drool over the tattooed Sukuna on your laptop screen.

Mingi had never shown any interest in you for all these years of living under the same roof. He was nice and a great friend but that was where it ended. Nothing more.

Oh well.

When your friend moved out to live with her boyfriend, you had a hard time finding a new roommate. The house, despite being an amazing place, was pretty far from the city center. Not a lot of people would decide to take long journeys to their workplace.

You lived alone for six months until one day you got a call. The man on the other side was interested in the room beside yours as he worked from home and liked being away from the city noises.

You had to admit, you preferred to live with another woman but that time you were desperate so you offered him to come and talk about the deal.

The memory of his frame still roamed in your mind, as it took up almost all the space of the entrance. You loudly gulped before even greeting him. And you were nervously swallowing for the next few months when he officially became your roommate.

At the beginning you tried to shape his view of you as the best. You changed your "house outfit" to more covered and neat, to make him think you have class and to hide the unattractive marks of your body. Meals you made were more sophisticated, and you followed a more healthy lifestyle. Even the gym lived to see you within its walls. Your room was cleaner than the ones in the ads of cleaning products. And most of all, everything about you had to look and smell like a volcano of femininity.

How lame of you.

To those days, you still wondered why you were doing all of that, to impress a dude that had absolutely no obligation to fall for you. All just because you were single and he was hot? Well, he was more than hot and you were basically covered in dust from singlehood. Still, it was unnecessary and you wasted time on doing things you didn't even enjoy.

After realizing your own stupidity, you went back to your old habits which actually allowed you to get more comfortable around him and in your own house. As the ties of attempting to impress someone disappeared, you quickly slid back to your messy, untamed, normal self.

For his misfortune.

The change of your aura around him was rapid and it took a 180° turn. One day you seemed to calculate every step you took and the next day the scheduled life was gone. It gave its place to chaos.

Truly, he disliked your visible chase after perfection and social media influence victimhood. It made you look almost robotic. You also seemed to force yourself to do most of it, especially going to the gym.

He did not know what dictated the sudden change but Mingi was glad that somehow due to it you finally became more relaxed and looked more like yourself.

However.

While you quickly found your comfort, he began to fall into a void of crushing lust and decreased self control, more and more everyday. The views like the one he just saw, were now on a daily basis. It was exhausting - pretending he was unaffected while in reality it trapped him entirely.

He was attracted to rawness and realness, to sharp edges and straightforwardness. And when suddenly, you dropped the act of perfectionist that annoyed him and revealed your true nature, you became all what he needed in a woman that his hands, lips and tongue were so eager to worship.

The way you moved, unaware of how feminine you were with something so simple like reaching for a coffee cup. The way you smelled, even after you stole his shampoo since you forgot to buy yours. The way you were all blushed after the steamy shower and paraded in only a towel around the apartment. The way you laughed out loud without trying to hold it in. Mingi melted at the sight of how excited you got for food, or when you got a text the postman was on their way with the new books you ordered. Or that a new season of your favourite show was out. Everything now was like sweet bait for his bee-like mind.

Mingi halted beside his car and looked at his reflection in its windows. Despite the twilight, he still saw the flames in his own eyes as all these thoughts of you flashed before them. The flames were just a tiny portion of the hellfire devouring him from inside.

Did he officially reach his limit? Somehow his mind kept fighting his body, however it began to realize it was outnumbered.

The first thought is the best.

Instead of the car keys, Mingi reached for a phone in his pocket. He didn't wait long for his friend to pick up the call.

"Sorry, man. I won't make it. You need to find someone else to help you with furniture." He informed the man on the other side with no words of greeting.

Hearing the need for explanation, he sighed like all he carried were troubles.

"Old case came up. I have to deal with it at last."

***

Fictional men. Book ones or 2D ones, it didn't matter. Your all time guiltiest, of guilty pleasures. Oh, how you wish they suddenly came to life, knock at your door and solve all your problems and fulfill all your fantasies.

"Ganbare, ganbare." you heard from the speakers as one of your new anime daddies spoke up.

"What the fuck, Sukuna?" You whined at the scene, burying your face in the pillow placed under you. You wanted to whine some more at the perfectly matched dubbing but the sound of doors abruptly opening and shutting caught you off guard.

Mingi left not whole five minutes ago. It had to be him. You hit the space button to stop the video.

"You forgot something?" you asked, listening closely, hopefully you were right.

"Yes."

The slight panic and insecurity that began to shape disappeared at the voice of your roommate. You turned your head back to the screen and restarted the video.

The music and a fight scene was loud enough to mute the sound of steps that entered your room. Only the sudden weight, pulling the bed down made you realize someone was indeed inside there with you.

You tried to look at Mingi, expecting to see him sitting on the edge of your bed for some unknown to you reason. But before you could even turn your head around, out of nowhere his arm appeared above your head, closing your laptop with his finger.

You couldn't look up but you felt it with all your being. Mingi hung above your entire frame, his arms on both sides of you, your legs trapped between his. His mouth, dangerously near your ear.

"I forgot to make something clear." He let out a growl he didn't have to control anymore, sending chills that were like a rifle series, from your head to your toes.

You were too stunned to form a word, feeling the temperature rise incredibly fast. Mingi took it as a chance to continue.

"If we're going to live together, we have to compromise, (y/n). I don't know what you're trying to accomplish, being so careless around me. If you wanted to seduce me, you succeeded. Congratulations."

Seduce him? No, you stopped trying three months ago. Now you were just living your life. How could he get it all backwards? Was it possible that the you being comfortable in your own skin, the chaotic you kept him awake at night?

You would scoff from the irony but, the position you were in and the whole man above you — with his lips so close to your neck, did not allow you to do anything but lay there like a mouse snared in a trap.

"If you didn't then please have mercy on the poor me and restrain yourself a little, so I could eat, sleep and coexist with you in peace and not fight the urge to pin you down to the first surface in sight and beg you to let me worship every inch of your body."

You were still silent, which made him spread his arms further and lean closer to you.

"Got it?" He asked, which sounded more like a threat.

Mingi had seen you in your most vulnerable position, and that had him speaking like he was a slave to your body. You smiled to yourself, at the confidence boost.

It was time to make a move.

He flinched at the unexpected touch on his crotch. He looked down to see your feet in bright socks brushing his clothed dick in wave-like motions.

"So, no McDonald's then?" You asked, pulling your head back to show him the fake disappointment on your face.

"(y/n)..." he begged, fighting the need to grind his hips.

"What can I do?" You shrugged, still not letting go of the act.

You did have him in your hands.

You suddenly turned around on your back and positioned yourself more comfortably as he pulled away a little in surprise. He looked you up and down, at your hands playing with your shirt, legs spreaded as if they were inviting him in. His grasp on the sheets tightened, trying to maintain maximum control.

"And what if I told you that I won't restrain myself?" You taunted with a pout, holding his dark gaze that came back to your face.

You were challenging him. He licked his lips at the lavious sight. The tightness in his pants bothered him more with every second of the view underneath him.

Your smile faded, giving its place to sultry expression. One of your legs raised and began brushing on his side.

"What if I also told you, you can pin me down to the first place you see and do whatever you want to me?"

The joy of having an upper hand didn't last for long. His move was fast and decisive — Mingi grabbed your flirting leg, stopping it from escaping as he lowered himself down onto you, pinning you to the bed with his weight.

The man's lips brushed yours, "I have a rule, you know."

"And what rule is that?" You battled the impulse to lick his plum mouth.

"No sleeping with roommates just for the sake of a peaceful life under the same roof." He enlightened you, putting your legs on his hip, next grabbing a handful of your plushy thigh. You inhaled sharply at the power he did it with, "But you make it absolutely impossible to follow."

You smiled devilishly, "So, you had a rule."

His lips felt juicier and softer than you imagined. And you imagined them an ungodly amount of times. It felt like biting onto the ripest fruit with all the juices exploding. It would've been a salvation on a hot summer day. But in this case, an unforgiving heat fell onto your body, burning your veins and showing on your cheeks.

The kiss quickly turned from delectaing, getting familiar to a violent clash of teeth, tongues and mouth, all of it accompanied by loud wet noises. The kiss broke as every ounce of oxygen left your lungs. You grabbed your shirt to finally get rid of it but he halted your plans.

"Leave it. I'm fucking you in this." He promised, at the same time groaning as his eyes filled with your breasts falling out of your only top piece.

He'd seen them unbrotherly bouncing under your oversized shirts almost everyday. Most of the time with no bra. Many times with erected nipples. They were teasing him while covered, which definitely woke a fetish in him. A fetish he never knew he had. A fetish he developed because of you.

"Why?"

Seeing you like this everyday got him laid in his bed and spent many nights imagining these scenes. Too many to not let it come to reality.

"Don't ask." He breathed out, while pulling the pillow from underneath you to put it on a side.

You didn't even have time to be confused as your nipples caught in his attention. One grabbed by his teeth and lips, the other twisted between his impatient fingers. Your back arched giving him all the access he needed. Mingi got the sweetest of whimpers out of you while kissing, sucking and massaging your tits that desired to fit in his big, untamed hands.

With kisses down your belly, he left your soft breasts, pulling your down shirt onto them. You squirmed in disappointment when your bosom lost his attention. But then he got dangerously close to your clothed cherry.

"I always admired your underwear collection but that is something else", he grinned, with his face hanging above your pussy like a cloud with a heavy rain over thirsty ground, "I thought these were ribbons…"

Once again he looked at the little pink tits painted all over your pelvis.

"I also have a version with little vaginas. Wanna see?" You grinned back and grabbed a string of your panties on your hip. Pulling it, you quickly let it go which made a sound from a contact with your flesh.

His grin faded away at that little gesture of yours. Why did the bare minimum have him raging in lust? What kind of sorcery did you use?

"Maybe later."

He grabbed the side of your underwear as you and pulled all of it down. Your cute panties landed somewhere behind him.

You were all exposed to his darkened, lusty eyes.

"I have a real one to look at…" with every word he made sure his hot breath embraced your throbbing pussy. "...as well as lick, suck and fuck."

"Mingi…" you immediately responded with a moan to his taunting. Your hips began to slightly twirl in front of his face when he positioned himself between your full thighs. They went up the next second, held by his decisive hands. He revealed every inch of your quivering womanhood to himself.

"Fuck, (y/n)" he whined at the sight of you, "Stunning. "

You felt cold air blowing on your folds. This little fucker. Your eyes darted onto him. Your roommate seemed to have fun, watching you struggle and wiggle while all he used was just air.

"Mingi, please" you begged shamelessly, "Hold on to your words, would you?"

"...as well as lick, suck and fuck." Oh you were funny.

"Right." he scoffed in amusement.

His giggles were muted by his lips attaching with your dripping pussy. Air got caged in your lungs, fingers immediately tangled in his fluffy hair.

Tongue lapped at your poor clit, mouth mercilessly sucked it in between. Raw sounds of your juices blending with his building saliva resonated in the room as well as deep in your soul.

"Fuuck." You were melting at the touch of his warm muscle, wandering around your folds.

Mingi was quickly advancing with his actions. His left hand went around your right thigh, fingers reached to the upper part of your pussy.

Your folds were spread, reminding him now of butterfly wings. He licked his lips at the vision of the source of all the nectar he was tasting. You were wet beyond his expectations.

The index finger of his free hand now traced around the edges of your soaking hole, that were closing and opening under his touch.

You spasmed at the quick, single and almost dramatic licks that were gracing your opened clit. His eyes fed on the lewdness, glowing in yours.

"You won't let me cum so quickly, will you?" You almost cried out.

Damn that grin of his.

"Oh no, baby. I will make you scream in a second."

Sudden invasion of his finger made you raise your hips, however he quickly pinned back down. The movement was slow at first as if he was doing a recognition of your interiors.

"So soft and warm, as I imagined it to be." He complimented you with a hum, "So inviting."

The middle finger answered the invitation, and join its neighbor inside you. There were no slow movements this time, no teasing. The pace was brutal, accompanied by your clit being violently sucked by his plumb lips.

"Mingi, fuuuck!" You screamed as loud as you were allowed in this condition.

The flood of pleasure, as much as it was welcome, came unexpectedly fast and powerful. It detuned your senses, took your breath away, controlled your body and whole being. You didn't know what to do with your hands, what to grab onto. Eventually they landed on your breast, adding more fuel to the fire happening between your legs.

His fingers pumped in and out of you, your rich juices made it much easier for them to move. Mingi sucked on you mercilessly, hamming loud which sent vibrations in the spot he was sending all his attacks towards.

With the last ounce of sanity, you quickly registered the knob forming in your abdomen and that it was about to come undone, brutally.

"I'm cum-ming" you intended to scream but all you could master was a whisper.

At those words his fingers gave up on leaving your walls and stayed deep inside them. You felt them curl inside, gluing to your core while rubbing and pushing onto it.

"Yes! Yes, right there!" You grabbed his head again to keep him in place, "Right fucking there!"

"Give me all of it, baby!" he said and reattached with your clit again, quickly shaking his head to have you absolutely crashing, "All of it!"

Legs, framing his face began to tremble. Cumming intensively, you were crying out the curses of pure euphoria. Your vision blurred. You saw no shape, no color as his fingers hadn't stopped. He led your orgasm in all the directions he wanted.

You had always been loud during sex but his skills made you reach new volumes. Your essence flooded his fingers, leaking out onto his mouth and chin. He began slowly moving inside you again to ride your ecstasy.

Mingi took his time before finally leaving your throbbing cunt. Fingers slowly slid out of you, all wet, glistening in the light. No drop was left as the man collected everything off you and of himself, ending the act with a loud pop sound. You used this moment to calm down and regain your breath control.

You didn't say anything as he climbed up on you with kisses and your heated faces aligned. Both breathing heavily, you looked at each other. You didn't stay silent and still for long but those few seconds were worryingly intimate. There was something between you two. You couldn't say what it was but it was there, tangible. You saw it in his eyes, that he in fact noticed that too.

Mingi allowed you to strip him off his black shirt and take your time to touch his chest, shaped abs and veiny hands that now rested on your sides. He felt his ego grow, seeing you worship his sun kissed muscles with awe.

"How do you want to take me?"

He raised his brows at your sudden question.

That reaction of his made you smile. Maybe he wasn't that hard to impress after all.

"You want to tell me you've never seen me in certain positions?"

"I have." He spoke before even the thought of other options of answer occured. However, Mingi didn't feel embarrassed with his honesty. Oh yeah, he'd seen you in many positions, but there was one specific simple fantasy that constantly appeared in his mind.

His hand reached for something above your head and next second you heard the sound of anime resonating in the room again.

Now you were surprised.

"Turn around, on your belly." He uttered, his eyes looking at you but his thoughts were somewhere else, deep in the dark corners of his brain.

You bit your lip as you realized.

Mingi wanted you in the position he had seen you almost everyday. In the position he saw you also today before leaving and coming back to take the business in his hands. He wanted to fuck you while you lazily laid before the screen. In your oversized shirt, colorful socks and your ass up on display.

How many times did he have to control himself to not let everything go loose when he saw you like that? How many times did he fight his corrupted mind while you walked and laid around the house unaware? You would never know.

Turning around, obeying him, you let him know you take all of it – all his needs and fantasies.

He helped you position the pillow underneath your pelvis and with the kiss on the back of your head, he got up to get rid of his jeans.

You felt familiar excitement as you looked at the anime going off but all you heard was a sound of an unbuckling belt. Wetness between your thighs increased along with the temperature, and you felt dizzy. It seemed like you were about to stand in flames.

His weight sunk in your bed again and you shivered at his mouth close to your ear.

"What you're doing, baby? Just keep watching your show."

The man's act of confusion was too good, his unearthly deep tone making you swallow a moan. Was it a punishment for you being so mindless about what you were doing to him?

His still wet fingers sunk in the flesh of your ass. He was massaging, squeezing and smacking it until he was satisfied. You looked at the screen but you saw nothing, entirely focused on his touch and sensation. You bit on the collar of your shirt as you felt Mingi sitting on your thighs like on a cushion. He put most of the weight on his hand but you still felt his hot skin pushing onto yours.

"Mingi…" his name in your mouth carried heavy pleas.

But he didn't answer. Instead you found yourself gasping at the velvet touch of his tip, rubbing between your cheeks and folds.

Up and down.

Up and down he spread his precum on all of you.

You couldn't see it but you felt his impressive width. You dig your nails in the sheets as your hips begin moving. You needed him inside, demolishing you.

"You're so soft and wet." He praised you. "All for me to finally enjoy."

"I'm begging you…" you mumbled with your shirt still between your clenched teeth.

He seemed to like bringing surprises as he slid into you without a warning.

"Aahh." You whimpered at the sudden stretch of your walls.

He went into you slowly, letting you adjust to his size. Mingi felt you were engulfing him more and more with every push.

"You're adorably tight." He wanted to sound playful but failed as your walls cramped around him and a set of pleasure went through him. "Shit."

He raised up a little on his knees and used your waist to support himself. Your lower body was caged, he could've done and was doing anything he wanted. He rolled his body at an even pace while going in and out of you. The bed rocked along with you, the frame hitting the wall behind it.

You face dropped from the screen as you tried to look at the cause of your state. Your loud moans, now drowned the sound of the anime in the background. They became even louder as his hand suddenly wrapped your ponytail around its wrist, pulling your head back.

You were facing the screen again.

"Watch. The. Show, (y/n)." He hissed.

And you were. You couldn't focus on the graphic, characters and especially not on the plot. All that filled your mind was the absolutely superior pleasure as your roommate was bulldozing you from behind. But still, your eyes were glued to the screen.

The tempo fastened as he let go of your hair. He pinned into you crazily, his balls smacking your sensitive clit from behind. Skin to skin, birthing clapping noises at an even pace.

The grab on your waist tightened. His moves became desperate, chasing the promising high. Mingi began to lose it. So did you.

"I'm clo-ose" you breathed out, shutting your eyes.

The laptop closed again, cutting the irritating noise. All he wanted to hear was your moans and mumbling, signs he owned you.

"Cum all over my cock." He demanded.

His hand was now positioned on both sides of your head. He raised up and with all his weight he fell onto you, sinking deeper than ever. His thick cock and every pulsating veins, adorning it, rubbed all the right places to make your sanity go to sleep and sexual madness to wake up. The power he was invading now you was too much for your body's ability to control.

"Min-gi, aah!" You came undone once again because of him and with the way he made you feel, you knew it wouldn't be the only time.

Heavenly bliss made your eyes roll in the back of your head as it fell on the bed from withering pleasure. A string of saliva oozed from your parted lips. You grabbed firmly onto his wrists and just let him ruin you until he felt like the work was done.

"Fuuuck!" he moaned as your walls grabbed his hard cock in whole, sucking him mercilessly, "Fuck, (y/n). Fuck, fuck aah!"

He quickly pulled out of you as a part of his fantasy was finishing on your naked back. Humping himself onto your ass, he took his time to shoot all the hot load, painting your skin in white as well as watch you laying there, nicely fucked up by no one else but him.

Leaning his forehead to the back of your head, he inhaled your scent as if he breathed comfortably for the first time in a very long time.

"There's no way I'm keeping my hands to myself from now on." He said, having a hard time speaking from the tempo he graced you a minute ago, "No matter what you or I will be doing."

You stroke his forearm, enjoying his closeness. You had no strength to open your eyes so you just smiled.

"Same."

He kissed your head, having dozens of butterflies going crazy in your stomach.

"What are we gonna do?" He broke the comfortable silence. Mingi tried to hide it but you picked it up - the worrying hue to his voice.

The bridge was burned, true. There was no return from what you two did. But you had a choice and made it. You chose to accept your needs and desires.

"We'll figure something out." You hoped, keep smiling as every cell in your body was telling you it might be a start of something beautiful.

After all, he saw the real you. The imperfect, flawed and raw you and it made him let his armour break. You were not letting him go that easily.

He smiled in the crook of your neck.

"Does it mean you will be walking naked around the apartment from now on?"

You recreated the same joyful giggle that made him look inside your room and began it all.

"Maybe."

4K notes · View notes

ishaslife · 8 months

Text

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

#astarion analysis #forgotten realms #astarion and tav #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion baldur's gate 3 #astarion baldurs gate #astarion x mc #tav x astarion #astarion romance #bg3 #astarion #astarion baldur's gate

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spacebarbarianweird · 3 months

Note

Hi there, I had this fun idea - while the tinkerer class isn't playable in BG3, can we pretend for a while that it is? You know, Tav and Astarion both showing middle finger to all the gods... Tav can even help him with his condition. Some gadget blocking the sun, artficial blood, stuff like that. Honestly, the of them being this steampunk couple of a vampire rogue and Tav with enhanced crossbow or a gun has made my day. So - do you have aby headcanons about that?

OR perhaps Astarion and an Alchemist who likes to trick people too if that makes you happier? 😉

You are the first to request Artificer! People forget this class since it's not in the game, though, it's official. But some DM believe the Artificers bring unnecessary steampunk vibes.

There is also some naughty, to say the least, stuff, let me know if you want more of this.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Artificer!Tav

In the realm of magic, you are that bitch who brings a gun to a knife fight.

You construct machines and mechanisms out of nothing, enchanting them with unique techno-magic,

Armour to withstand necrotic damage? A healing helmet? A prosthetic hand? A full-time "living" creature, a Nimblewright?

There is nothing you can't do with your crafty hands.

Things are complicated in terms of love.

You are more interested in cogs and gears rather than dates and sex.

You've tried once and it was a huge "ugh".

Virginity is wasted for nothing.

So, you've also learned to make sex toys but it's this side job you pray no one will ever know about.

But customers are never unsatisfied though you sometimes get in trouble.

Mostly, the owners of local brothels try to accuse you of lewd misconduct.

You are finally tired of all this shit and decide to move places.

And the mindflayers take you.

You easily escape, making small machines out of debris to help you survive this madness.

You construct armor, and you enhance swords.

Magic sucks, behold the science!

Astarion makes moves to you, successfully seducing you.

And let's say, none of your inventions have ever satisfied you the same way this troubled vampire does.

You think you are in love. And you believe he is, too.

But later he confesses to you that it was a lie.

He used you. And he is sorry.

You are heartbroken, at the very least. You feel used.

You break up with Astarion, leaving him alone in his misery.

But it doesn't mean you want him to suffer - you kill his master, secure his freedom.

When it all ends, he starts burning alive - running to the shadows, like a rat chased by cats.

You feel bad, especially when you hear vicious mockery from your friends.

But you fail, losing his track underground.

That night, you cry.

The thing is, you've never stopped loving him. You were just too stubborn to admit it. Besides, gods, Astarion tried to be honest for the first time in his fucking life.

And you punished him for opening his heart.

What a vile creature you are?

Half a year later, you meet him at the party.

Astarion looks happy - he is an adventurer and a hero, living his life to the fullest.

And he tells you something that makes your heart stop.

"I wonder if we could be together after all, you know. But it seems like you have a new life, and I am happy for you."

You take his hands in yours and ask him to go somewhere private.

Then, you apologize. You say how much you've missed him and that you love him. And you want to be together.

Instead of an answer, he hugs you.

"There is nothing I want more," he whispers.

In the morning, you leave together to find a place that fits both of you.

Living with Astarion is worth of effort, but sometimes it's almost unbearable.

His nightmares, his breakdowns.

You wonder how tf he survived on his own all these lonely months.

You open your artificer shop in Neverwinter, and Astarion becomes a professional monster hunter.

Thanks to you, he doesn't need to hide in the shadows.

You make him a cape that creates a field protecting him from the sun. The eye lenses to make his eyes green.

You also learn alchemy - first, to make potions to ease his nightmares and anxieties.

Later, you make them to satiate his hunger.

Your crafty hands also come in use in healing his sexual trauma.

Astarion craves intimacy, he wants to enjoy sex. He just can't make himself undress and make love to you.

Problem solved - he can fuck you with a toy you've constructed while being fully dressed and in control.

You also use some of your inventions on Astarion, helping him to reconnect with his own sexuality.

One day, he pins you to the bed, making love to you without any extra tools.

It's been such a wild night that your neighbors "politely" asked to install soundproof shields.

You keep learning alchemy, making more and more potions, and one day you finally get your answers.

There is a way to make Astarion mortal without interfering with dark magic or soul-retrieving pacts.

Science, bitches.

Astarion is hesitant. He is eager to drink any potion you make, but being transformed back into a mortal is very extreme.

You ask Astarion to bring him test subjects.

He drags you a deranged vampire, one of the most miserable Cazador's victims - completely insane, almost an animal, that was hunting in the dark caves.

And it works.

The deranged vampire turns into a deranged mortal. But mortal.

Astarion takes the potion, but, maybe, it's because of how long he's been a vampire or because he's an elf, he doesn't turn immediately.

He falls to the floor comatose.

He stays like that for a month, a terrible and long month when you think you've lost him.

One evening, you hear a strange sound.

Breathing.

He breathes in his unconsciousness.

You put your hand on Astarion's chest.

Heartbeat.

You did it. You cured him.

He wakes up with you on his chest, dizzy and exhausted with some memory gaps.

Piercing you with his natural green eyes.

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe

#spacebarbarian headcanon #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 #astarion romance #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion headcanon #astarion headcanons #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x reader #tav x astarion #astarion x f!tav #artificer tav #artificer dnd #dnd artificer #tav

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jpmarvel90 · 9 months

Text

Guilt

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x Reader

Summary: Natasha finally finds her sister Yelena. Only to discover she has a friend that escaped the Red Room with her. Distrust causes issues between the trio and leads to a break up of friendships.

Word Count: 8306

Y/n's POV:

Yelena and I were on the run for almost two years before her sister Natasha Romanoff found us. We had managed to escape the Red Room together and had been on the run ever since. Yelena had become like a sister to me. She's a year older than me but we've always looked out for each other. Our last few months in the Red Room were horrible and we went through things that no one ever should have to.

Once we escaped, we had a freedom neither of us thought we'd ever have. Even if we did have to move on every few months, we lived life to it's fullest. We moved across Europe, working any job that we could and always finding some shitty one bed apartment that we could live in. The aim was to save up as much money as we could to get to the US. Yelena was sure that was where her sister Natasha was, and I wanted to make sure she got reunited with her family. In the Red Room, they take everything away from you. Knowing that she was able to keep a hold of her sister, meant a lot to Yelena. She deserved to be happy.

I didn't know Natasha really, other than the rumours I heard whilst I was in the red room. As I was 7 years younger than her, I didn't have much to do with her. She seemed familiar but I put it down to the fact that we had training sessions with the older age groups at times and we probably met then at some point.

After she escaped, Yelena was moved to our section. She was punished for Natasha escaping and I helped to clean her wounds. It's how we became friends and over time, why I started to see her as my sister.

The moment that Natasha broke into our apartment in Budapest is something I'll never forget. I had just come back from the shop to find the two of them strangling each other with a curtain. When they called a truce, it was like none of that had ever happened. Natasha was quick to pull Yelena into a tight hug and apologise for leaving her in Red Room and not going back for her.

When she became aware of my presence, Natasha was quick to point a gun to my head. "No! No! Natasha, that's Y/n. Put the gun down!" Yelena shouted, stepping in front of her sister, and pushing her away. "Who's Y/n?" Natasha asks with a bite to her tone. "She was in the Red Room with me. She helped me escape. She can be trusted Natasha." Yelena tries to convince her. She looks me up and down before dropping the gun. "You look familiar." She grunts as she slips her weapon into the back of her jeans. "She was J block. It's where I was moved to when you left." Yelena explains for me.

"Hmm. I think I worked with them a few times." She thought out loud. She's probably right. They often sent the older kids in to practice their technique on us. I had even seen some of my friends killed by them. I was even almost killed in one training session. They were completely brain washed by Dreykov and his men to do horrible things.

After the reunion in Budapest, Natasha offered Yelena a place within Shield, and with that a place to stay with her at the compound where her and her team lived. Yelena only agreed to go if I was allowed to go with them. Natasha reluctantly agreed and before we knew it, we were on a jet flying to New York.

The whole way there, Yelena and I held hands, excited that we were finally safe, no longer having to stay on the run to keep alive. Maybe we'd even get the chance to take down the red room once and for all. For the whole flight, however, I could feel Natasha's harsh gaze on me. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I tried to ignore it. Maybe she was just slightly jealous that I had such a close relationship with Yelena.

Over the next few months, my relationship with Natasha did not improve. In fact, I'm sure it got worse, no matter how hard I tried. She just didn't seem to trust me. And because she didn't trust me, the rest of the team were reluctant to do so either. Initially, Yelena tried to get us to all get along. But I could see that she felt like she was in the middle. So, I encouraged her to spend more time with Natasha. She had been desperately trying to get back to her for years, it's only right that they have time together. I'd be ok.

Over time though, Yelena started to spend less and less time with me. At times she would barely talk to me, it was almost like I was a chore for her. The tag along that was only there to help her escape. Now she has her sister and new family, I'm not needed anymore. I've tried really hard to make friends with the others on the team, but it doesn't seem to be going very well. Especially with Steve, he's always harder on me than the others and I can see he has a hatred for me in his eyes.

I considered leaving, but after talking with Agent Hill and Directory Fury, I found a purpose to stay. I could help to take down the red room. They both trusted me, and I appreciated that. I worked with them a lot on a number of missions to get the intel that we would need to finally put an end of other girls ending up like Yelena, Natasha and me.

Having that purpose didn't make it any easier back at the compound. I still was required to go on missions with the Avengers, but that was the only time any of them would really talk to me now. Even Yelena. It really started to hurt. I thought I meant more to her, but clearly not. I don't know why I ever thought that I would fit in anywhere. I spent my childhood locked away and with no family to help me find my way, I was always going to be an outcast.

After a particularly bad mission, I was on the receiving end of a barrage of abuse from Steve and Sam. I hadn't done anything wrong, but they were looking for someone to blame and that landed solely on me. The whole journey back on the quinjet was torture as they took it in turns yelling at me. I didn't have anything to say in response, I know I would only make things worse. But what really hurt was the way that Yelena didn't say a word to even try to stand up for me. Especially when the next attack that came out of Steve's mouth. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were a double agent really working for Hydra and Dreykov. All these solo missions you do. Are you really reporting back to the enemy?" He spits at me. I open my mouth to defend myself, but he quickly holds his hand up to me. "You don't talk!" He hisses.

He takes a deep breath before turning to me once again. "You're just a trained murderer who will never be able to make up for the red in her ledger. You're not worthy of the place you have been afforded here." I have to choke back the sob that fights to get out. My glossed over eyes look to Yelena who instantly looks away. I'm the same as her, the same as Natasha, yet none of them can give me the benefit of the doubt.

Thankfully, the quinjet lands at his last sentence and I'm the first off, the jet. I rush to my room and start to pack my bags instantly. I can't stay here anymore. I don't feel safe. I know that I don't have the teams support and I'm only a danger to them and myself.

I don't own a lot, so it doesn't take me long until I'm packed up. A miserable depiction of my life. I wait until I know everyone will be having dinner and I'll be able to slip out with no issues. Leaving probably will make them think I'm working for the enemy even more, but I won't stay here any longer.

When I'm ready to leave, I reach up and take off the necklace that has hung around my neck for the last two and a half years. It's a spider charm. Yelena brought us each one with her first pay cheque. It was meant to represent our relationship as sisters. Now it just symbolises everything that I've lost. I place it on top of the chest of draws in my room then I grab my small duffle bag and make my way out. As I sneak past the kitchen, I hear them all laughing together. A family that I'll never be a part of.

When I leave the compound, I make my way to Shield headquarters. Luckily, Fury is still there, and I explain everything that has happened. I practically beg him to let me leave and go as far away from here as possible. He offers me the chance to be free, away from Shield and far away from the Avengers, if I carry out one last mission with Agent Hill. I instantly agree when he gives me the details. If I can do one final good thing to help defeat the red room, then I'll take it. It feels like the only thing that I have left to give to this world.

Nat's POV:

Watching the way Steve and Sam tore strips off Y/n on the way back home was hard to see. It wasn't her fault that we failed that mission. But she was the chosen target for their anger. I could see Y/n getting smaller and smaller with each insult that was flung her way.

But I'm sure I saw the moment her heart actually broke. You'd think it was the moment Steve called her a murder, not worthy of her place. That did damage, of course it did, but the moment her heart broke was when she looked to Yelena for any kind of support, only for her to look away. That was the moment I saw the tiniest bit of light left in Y/n's eyes disappear. I should have said something. I should have stood up for her. If that is how Steve sees Y/n, then that is what he should think of me and Yelena, and I know for a fact he doesn't.

I feel immense guilt as I watch Y/n rush off the jet. I've not made her life easy since she's been here. But it's been misguided. I remember Y/n. Of course I do. She was my target to kill. I had been put against her in a fight to the death. But she was strong. She fought well. I beat her to an inch of her life at the orders of Dreykov, only to be stopped from choking her to death at the last moment. He had deemed her worthy of living for the fight she had put up.

I still remember the fear in her eyes as she thought I was about to take her life away. I knew who she was as soon as she walked into the apartment in Budapest. But I didn't know how to be around her, so I didn't try. The benefit of being the Black Widow, is being able to hide how I really feel. What I didn't realise was how much that would affect the team's thoughts on her.

They believed that I didn't trust her so decided they didn't either. I mean, it's good to know that the team support me like that. But it must have been hell for Y/n. She would try so hard to fit in but was met by cold shoulders from everyone. Even Wanda and she will make an effort with everyone. It made my guilt grow even more, but instead of putting a stop to it, I just started to remove myself from the situation. I would hang out with Yelena as much as I could because she was the one person that could make the guilt disappear for a split second. Y/n represents every bad thing I did in the red room, and I let her suffer for it.

But I know now that I need to fix this. I would observe Y/n and I truly believe she is one of a kind. She has such a kind soul for someone who has been through so much hell. Things were bad when I was in the red room, but they only got worse after I left. Yelena had told me some stories and they always ended with Y/n being there for her. I'm glad that she had someone like her during such a horrible time in her life.

I would find myself craving to get to know Y/n more, knowing that my life would only be brighter to have her in it. But I didn't deserve that, so I shut off any thoughts of that. I could not and would not think of her more than a work colleague. I wish I didn't because I don't think I'll be able to make up for everything that has happened over the past six months since the two of them came home with me.

After we got off the jet, I went straight to Yelena's room. She slammed her bag on to the floor as soon as she got there. "What gives Steve the right to talk to Y/n like that. She didn't do anything." She says angrily, pacing around her room. "She was brain washed. We all were. She was always the best of us, the one who kept the small amount of hope that we would all be ok. He has no right to talk to her like that." She shouts as she drops onto her bed.

I take a seat next to her as she breaths heavily. "We should go and talk to her and make sure she's ok." I suggest, earning a nod from Yelena. When we leave her room, we're greeted by Steve. "Tony ordered Pizza, come join us." He says with a smile. "We'll just go and get Y/n and see you there." I say but he stops me. "She's not welcome. The team don't want her there. Now join us." He says sternly. I just look at him in disbelief.

I'm sure I see smoke coming off of Yelena's head as Steve walks away. "That asshole." She mumbles, clenching her fists in anger. I place a hand on her shoulder. "Let's take a moment and then go to her." I suggest but she snaps her head to me. "Why do you suddenly care?" She snaps, but I don't blame her. My gaze drops to the floor before I decide that now's the time tell her the truth. I guide her back into her room and sit her on the bed. I take a deep breath and explain everything that happened in the red room. How I almost killed Y/n and let the guilt affect how I treated her once she was here.

Yelena sat there in shock after I finished admitting the truth. "She never would have blamed you for that. In fact, one of her best friends in there was someone who shot her. We had to do as we were ordered or we got killed or punished, she never held that against anyone." Yelena tells me, which just makes my guilt grow even more, if that's even possible!

"We need to make things up to her and try and get the team to see she's not a threat. I can't believe that I've let this happen." Yelena sighs, and I can feel the pain radiating off her. "Come on then, let's not waste any more time." I tell her, holding my hand out to her. She gives me a smile and takes it. When we reach her door Yelena knocks but gets no answer. She knocks again. "Y/n/n, it's me. Can I come in?" She asks but is met with silence.

"Friday, is Y/n in there?" I ask the AI before we go barging in. "No Agent Romanoff. Y/n left the compound with her belongings 20 minutes ago." The AI responds. Not wanting to believe what she just heard, Yelena opens the door and calls out for Y/n again. "Please Y/n. We're here to apologise." I can hear the desperation in her voice as she goes into the bathroom and opens the wardrobe to see them empty.

Tears start to fill her eyes and then they land on something on the top of the chest of draws. And this here is the moment I see my sister's own heart break. Her hand shakes as she reaches out to pick up the necklace that is waiting for her. "We vowed to never take these off. They were to show that we were always with the other regardless of where we were. What have I done?" She whispers that last bit as she slides down the wall to the floor. I sit next to her and wrap an arm around her as I fight tears of my own, knowing that I'll never be able to fix this for either Y/n or my sister.

"Director Fury has asked for your presence in the meeting room." Friday informs us. I look to Yelena and we both take a moment to compose ourselves before heading out to meet Fury. The rest of the team are already waiting in there as we take our seats. "Who the fuck wants to explain why my best agent has just handed in her resignation." He yells, hitting his hand down on the table. It makes me jump to see his anger.

"None of us have done anything to Agent Hill." Steve defends but Fury's head snaps to him. "Not Hill. Y/l/n." He says with a fire in his eyes. Steve scoffs at his words. "She got what was coming to her. She's clearly been working with Hydra. How else do you explain all these 'solo' missions she's been doing?" He argues, a venom lacing his voice. Fury lets out a small chuckle and we instantly know that's not a good sign.

"Those solo missions were at my request." He states and the air in the room seems to disappear. It's like everyone has realised what has happened. "B-but Romanoff doesn't trust her." Steve tries to defend. Everyone's eyes fall to me. "I've never said that. I had my own problems that had nothing to do with Y/n but my inability to deal with my past." I admit, but I know some of the blame falls to me as well.

"What even were these missions?" Steve questions Fury, again a bad move. "Know your place, Rogers. I don't think you realise the asset we've just lost." Another scoff comes from Steve. "She's not an asset to anyone." Fury slams his hand down on the table once more which startles us all. "Watch what the next words are to come out of your mouth." He growls and Steve instantly shrinks into his seat. "Y/n was helping me to collect information on the red room. As one of the last known people to escape, her knowledge was invaluable to us. It's because of her, we're the closest we've ever been to taking them out." Silence fills the room as Fury explains what Y/n has been doing before Yelena speaks up.

"But I escaped with her. Why did you ask me to help?" She asks, as Fury gives her a pitying look. "Y/n didn't want you to have to relive what happened to you in there or risk losing your family. She was protecting you." Fury explained. Yelena's mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out as she realises what Y/n has done for her. For us.

Fury turns his attention back to the rest of the team. "She thought if she could bring down the red room, that she could prove to you all that she was trustworthy and earn her place here. Maybe even gain a family. But instead, she's left here believe she is and has nothing. So much for earth's mightiest heroes. You can't even be there for your teammate." And with that Fury left the briefing room, leaving us all shellshocked at his revelations.

I can hear quiet sobs coming from Yelena as I try to fight the sick feeling in my stomach knowing she's out there alone feeling like she never meant anything to us. To me. "She's always put me first. Always protected me. She was my sister but as soon as I came here, I tossed her aside, too scared of losing you. I've let her down. I couldn't even stand up for her against Steve." I go to wrap my arm around her, but she shrugs me off. "Don't. I'm so ashamed of myself, of us. How we have treated her. All she has ever wanted is a family. To feel like she belonged somewhere. But I bought her here just for her to feel like she's a monster." She cries before storming out of the room.

The rest of the team are in shock. I decide to share with them what I did with Yelena. They deserve to know the whole truth. If we're able to bring Y/n back, she deserves this team at their best. They are an amazing family. I just wish I hadn't allowed this to happen.

Steve instantly feels guilty after I explain. "I should never have said what I did to her. I misplaced my anger. I just assumed the worse. I'm sorry Nat. You came from the same place as she did. What I said wasn't only disrespectful to her, but you as well." He apologises. I can see the sincerity in his face. "It's not me that deserves an apology. I've let Y/n down more than anyone here. She is a good person, and we would have been lucky to have her in our lives. I just hope that we can repair this." Knowing there is nothing more I can do. I get up to leave to find Yelena.

As I'm walking past Y/n's room, I hear crying. I open the door and I'm greeted by Yelena hugging her pillow close to her. I slowly get into the bed behind her. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry and express what she needs to. "I let her down Nat. I should have been there for her, but I wasn't. How can I ever call myself a sister to her after I just left her like I did? She deserves better." She laments, the pain evident in her voice.

"She's not safe Nat. They'll know it was her that has been doing these missions. They'll be going after her and if they get her, they'll kill her and it'll be my fault." She turns in my hold and sobs into my chest. I'm crying myself knowing that she's right. I've never seen Yelena like this. She's completely broken. I need to fix this for both of them. I can't see Yelena like this, and I just want to have a second chance with Y/n.

When we finally have pulled ourselves together, we get up and start our search to find her. Tony lets us use anything he has to try and find her, but it's no use. For weeks we try to look for her, but we get nothing. Not even a hint of where she could be. I pray it's because she is good enough to go off the grid like this. But in my stomach, I have this gnawing feeling that she's been captured and killed. It's the more likely answer, but I don't dare say it allowed. She has to be ok. She has to be alive.

Three years later

"I've got something!" Tony comes running into the dining room one evening with the biggest grin on his face. "I don't think we want to know what you've got." Sam jokes, causing us all to laugh. "Funny. But no. I've got a hit on the facial recognition for Y/n." Silence falls over us all at his words. "She's in Pennsylvania." He informs us. I feel Yelena's hand grip my thigh at his words.

We never gave up. These last three years, we have all still been looking for her. Determine to find her. The team have been helping us and we take it in turns to trawl CCTV and all of the databases that we can for any hint that's alive and well. So to hear that we finally have something, a possibility of seeing her again after these last few years is such a great feeling.

"What are we waiting for we should go!" Steve jumps up and orders us. It really affected him after we all found out the truth. He spent weeks reading over Y/n's solo mission reports. What she did was incredible and how she hid some of her injuries I'll never know. But I guess when no one gives you the time of day, it's easy enough to do. "I don't think we should all go in guns blazing. Besides we don't know what state she is in." Tony rebuts which causes Steve to reluctantly agree.

"Yelena and I will go. We'll assess the situation and hopefully bring her home safe. If we need it, we'll call in for backup." I say authoritatively. They all eagerly agree before Yelena, and I head off to grab what we need. We pack a bag as we don't know what we're going into. We need to do this carefully. If she's been taken by the red room, we can't screw this up.

Tony has arranged everything for us, including staying in a hotel in the small town she's been located in. Whilst on the quinjet there, I'm doing additional research to see if we have any intel of there being a Hydra or red room base there. After Y/n left, it became harder for us to find any information on the red room. Yelena and I went on missions in place of her, but we didn't get the same results. The red room is still active, but we are so close to ending it. I just hope it hasn't come at too high a cost.

We arrive in a town called Ligonier, a very traditional US town. We land the jet away from any people and make our way to the town centre and our hotel. Once we've checked in, we set up all our tech so we have communications back home with the compound, as well as the software for facial recognition. I can tell that Yelena just wants to go out and search the whole town for her, but we need to be sensible.

So, we spend that evening gathering as much info as we can, Tony being a great help to us from back home. "The facial recognition I got was from a coffee shop on the main street of the town. It's probably a good place to start. Interestingly, there are either no cameras there, or the ones that are don't work. Almost like someone doesn't want to be found." He starts to explain. "Where did you get her then?" I question as I find the location of the coffee shop. A camera from the town hall across the way. It picks her briefly in the back of the frame." He explains.

After coming up with a plan of action, we head to bed but neither of us can sleep. "I'm excited to see her again." Yelena says from her bed next to me. "But I'm also worried that she's not safe or won't want to see us." She adds on and I can hear the pain in her voice. Y/n leaving affected Yelena a lot. She has carried around a guilt that she wasn't there for her and let her be treated like she was. I've lost count of the times I'd find her in Y/n's room crying, terrified that she was dead, and it was all her fault. Truth is, it would all be mine.

"The main thing is that she's safe. We can work on forgiveness after that." I say and Yelena hums in agreement. "You know. I always thought you liked her at first. It's why I tried to get you to allow her to join us so much. But then over time I just realised you didn't like her at all, and I chose you over her. If only I had known, I could have made things right between you." She chuckles lowly whilst my eyes widen.

I feel Yelena's eyes on me when I don't respond. "Oh my God! You do like her!" She squeals, turning so she's facing me. "Shut up. I don't." I weakly defend. "HA! See it's so clear! You like Y/n!" She teases me whilst I huff, knowing that I'm not going to hide it from her. "Are you mad?" I ask timidly which seems to shock Yelena. "Not that you like her. You both deserve to be happy. Maybe a little mad that if you hadn't put your head in the sand, we wouldn't have been in this position of trying to find her after her disappearance three years ago!" She lightly scolds.

"I always thought whoever would end up with Y/n would be one of the luckiest people in the world. Maybe that could be you." She adds on which causes a smile to form on my face. But I quickly shake my head knowing that we have to find her and earn her forgiveness first.

We eventually fall asleep and wake up refreshed, ready to bring Y/n home. We're up early and head to the coffee shop that she was spotted in. We order our drinks and sit out of the way, but still with a good view of the whole shop. After about an hour, Y/n rushes in through the door apologising. "I'm so sorry Jill. Mia did not want to leave this morning. I'll make up for it." She rambles as she grabs an apron from behind the counter. "Don't worry about it Y/n. It's not busy. Take a breath." This Jill reassures her.

We stay for another hour and make the decision to leave, not wanting her to spot us just yet. Instead, we stay locally, to get an idea of when her shift ends. We go back the next few days and just seeing her so carefree makes me happy. "She looks good. I love the blonde hair." Yelena states as we get into bed that evening. "I thought she had been captured, but to see her alive and well is good." I reply. Knowing that she's safe is such a relief.

The next day, we go to the coffee shop for the end of her shift. We decided that we'll try and talk to her today. We're both really nervous, but I'm hopeful that we might be able to start on the road to fixing this. Whilst sat at our same table, I watch almost mesmerised as Y/n floats around the coffee shop. She knows a lot of the people here and they seem to enjoy her being around. "She looks happy." I observe and Yelena nods.

Just as the clock is about to hit three, we're both startled by the door to the shop slamming open and a little girl running in. "Mama!" She shouts as she sprints through the shop. I smile at how cute the little girl is, but I feel my heart in my throat when she is running straight to Y/n. "Hi my baby." Y/n greets the child, picking her up and spinning her around. "Mama?" Yelena questions next to me.

"Can we go home now?" The little girl asks. "Give me 10 minutes sweetie and I'll be ready to go. I'll grab you a muffin whilst you wait." Y/n responds, sitting the girl at a table. Y/n finishes up her last few jobs before returning to her daughter. Wow that sounds weird. I find myself stuck to my seat not entirely sure what I'm feeling. I've missed my chance.

As her and the girl walk out the door, her eyes land on us. They go wide and she is quickly rushing out the door of the coffee shop. Yelena is far quicker than me and has jumped out of her seat and is chasing after Y/n. When I finally get my sense back, I follow quickly after, to see Yelena just catching up to Y/n. "Please, just wait. We've been looking for you for years." Yelena pleads.

Y/n is now holding the scared little girl in her arms as her eyes stare down Yelena. "We just want to talk. To have a chance to apologise. Please." Yelena practically begs. I can tell that seeing Yelena like this is having an effect on Y/n. She lets out a sigh and slowly nods. "Follow me." She mumbles and turns on her heal.

We follow her to a small little house just on the outskirts of town. The garden is immaculate and when she opens the door, it feels so homely. "Mia, why don't you go and play with your toys upstairs. Mama just needs to talk to these ladies." Y/n instructs the child, who seems reluctant to go. "But they're scary." Mia mumbles which causes Yelena to let out a small chuckle. "It's ok sweetheart. I'll be ok." Y/n reassures her.

Reluctantly Mia leaves and heads upstairs. I start to wonder around the small living space whilst Y/n makes us a drink. There aren't many photos up. Most of them are of Mia, but there are some with Y/n in too. This gives me the smallest bit of hope that it means she's not with someone else.

Y/n enters the living room with a tray with three glasses and a bottle of vodka. "Figured you wouldn't want a tea and I sure as hell need this for whatever you're here for." She says as she fills three glasses. There's a silence as we sit, neither Yelena nor I knowing where to start. The sound of the ticking clock is all you can hear and the occasional giggle from upstairs.

I notice that each time we can hear that, Y/n's face lights up. "So, you have a daughter." Yelena breaks the silence. "I do." Y/n responds shortly. "Were you pregnant whilst you were with us? I didn't know you were with anyone." Yelena questions. "Like you would have noticed anyway." Y/n scoffs. "But no. I wasn't. She's not biologically mine." Y/n admits which takes us a little by surprise. "Oh." Is all Yelena responds with. "Where have you been?" I now ask, wanting to know that she has in fact been safe since she left us. "Why should I tell you? You can't just turn up here and demand answers from me. It's been three years." She says firmly. She certainly got her confidence since she left!

"We've been worried about you Y/n. All we've wanted to do is apologise to you after that day. Well, not even just for that day. For everything, for the way I treated you when I promised you, we'd always be there for each other." Yelena answers, a hint of desperation in her voice. "For three years, I have been so angry at myself for getting so caught up on Natasha and not losing her, that I ended up losing you instead. It was like I felt like I couldn't have two sisters and being around Nat and the others made me feel like I had my family. I was a coward to let them isolate you like they did."

I have never heard Yelena talk so honest and openly about something before. It's obvious she is baring her soul her, and I think Y/n realises that too. "All I ever did was try and fit in with everyone. I knew we wouldn't always be together, but I didn't think that was how it was going to go." Y/n shares, pain in her eyes. "You just gave up on me. You couldn't even defend me to Steve." There's a crack in Y/n's voice, which she tries to hide.

"We both owe you an apology for that. How he spoke to you that day was out of line. We can't change what happened, but I hope that we can work to fix what we broke." I step in now. I know I'm going to have to tell her about why I acted like I did. But I'm dreading it. What if I tell her and she never wants to see me again?! I think that would break me. "I also owe you an explanation for why I treated you like I did." I start, wanting to get this out of the way.

"I know why. You didn't trust me around Yelena." She answers for me. I quickly shake my head. "No, that's not it at all." I defend, looking to Yelena who gives me a reassuring nod. I take a deep breath and explain everything to her. How I couldn't forgive myself for what I did, and I dealt with it all in the completely wrong way. She sat there shocked when I finished. Her silence was so tense. I was sure she was about to kick us out and tell us that she never wanted to see us again.

"Did you want to kill me?" She asks and I'm quick to deny it. "Of course not! I could never want to hurt you." I admit and she smiles. "You were controlled Natasha. We all did things that we didn't want to. But we had to to survive. I would never have held that against you." She tells me with such sincerity, it causes me to start crying. Knowing that she doesn't blame me brings such relief, but it also brings anguish at the thought of how I treated her.

"I'm still here sat in front of you. I'm alive and well with the most beautiful little daughter. You didn't ruin anything that day in the red room." She shares with a wide smile. "Yeah, about that child." Yelena jumps in. "Where did you get her?" She asks and I laugh at her blunt question. "When I went to hand in my resignation, Fury asked me to carry out one more mission for him. In return he would allow me to go free from it all. I instantly agreed. The mission was easy, but I came across a small baby, she was a little over a year old. I have no idea how she got there or what their plans were for her, but I couldn't leave her. When I arrived back at Shield with a baby in my arms, Fury stepped up for me. He helped me adopt her and get this house with a job and a new identity. Somewhere safe where Shield are still able to protect us if we need it." She explains.

If it's possible, it makes me lov-like her even more. She's so selfless. "Protect you. Are you in danger?" Yelena asks in a panicked tone. "Not directly. But with the red room still running, there will always be a chance they come for the both of us." She replies. "You know I never stopped seeing you as a sister." Yelena blurts out of nowhere. Y/n has a small smile on her face at those word. "I never did either. But I knew that the compound wasn't the place for me anymore. It was where your family was, not mine." Hearing those words is hard to take. We should have been the family she deserved but we weren't and it's all down to me.

"Do you have that family now?" I ask but I notice her head drop a little. "Mia and I make do. The people here are nice and look out for us." She responds. "Come home with us." It's my turn to now blurt things out and the request takes both Yelena and Y/n by surprise. "Hey! I was supposed to be the one to ask her that. Cyka." Yelena complains with a pout.

"But she's right. Come back with us. We can be the family you deserve. And you'd be safe too. Mia would never have to worry about the red room." Yelena directs towards Y/n. "I could make sure my niece is safe." Yelena smiles. "Your niece?" Y/n questions with a smirk. "You're my sister whether you want to be or not, so therefore she is my niece." She argues whilst Y/n lets out a hum.

"Mama! Can I have a dwink pwease?" Mia rushes down the stairs out of breath into Y/n's arms. "What did I say about running down the stairs?" Y/n scolds. "Sorry Mama." Mia apologises with the cutest little look. Oh she is going to have everyone putty in her hands. "I'll get her a drink. Milk?" Yelena jumps up, already trying to prove herself. "Please." Y/n nods holding Mia against her.

Mia's big eyes land on me and I smile at her. "Who is she?" Mia whispers to her mama. "That's Natasha. And that loud one over there is Yelena." Y/n responds, earning a gasp from Yelena. "I am not loud!" She shouts which causes Mia to let out a loud laugh in response. Yelena comes back over and hands over the glass of warm milk to Mia who happily sits and drinks.

"So... will you come back with us?" Yelena asks and Y/n sighs. "I don't want to have Mia in that environment where everyone hates her mama." Y/n responds. "They don't hate you. They understand what they did was wrong. Steve has been feeling guilt ever since you left. He was ready to jump on the quinjet with us and be here with us to apologise to you straight away." I tell her, wanting her to know that it will not be the same as it once was. "Besides, I won't let anyone say anything against you. I won't make that same mistake again." I say quietly, almost coming over as shy. "Me too. We'll protect you." Yelena confirms.

Y/n thinks for a while. "Ok, but I promise if anything like that happens again, I'm gone for good. I don't care about me, but I will protect Mia with everything I have." Y/n agrees which makes both Yelena and I jump up in excitement. "Why are they so happy?" Mia asks, placing her glass on the table. Yelena rushes over and picks her up and spins her around. "You're coming to live with your Auntie Yelena!" She shares excitedly. Considering this kid has just met us, she is so excited at the thought. Y/n just shakes her head at their antics, but she looks to me and our eyes meet. I smile at her which she easily returns.

We stay with Y/n for the week whilst she sorts all her affairs out here. We have called the team and told them that Y/n is coming home with us. We may have missed out a small detail of the child, but we wanted to surprise them all. I could tell that Y/n was nervous on the flight home. Mia was asleep, curled up on Yelena's lap, whilst Y/n was staring at the wall, her leg bouncing.

I take a seat next to her and place and hand on knee. "It's going to be ok." I try to comfort her. "I won't let anything happen to you. To either of you." I reassure her. "You've got Yelena and I completely. You're safe." She rests her head on my shoulder and looks towards the two sleeping children. "I think I'm more worried about the influence Yelena is going to have on Mia." She jokes, breaking the tension. "Oh, that I can't help you with. Yelena is a force even I can't control." I joke in return, earning a laugh from Y/n. Something that has become my favourite sound.

When the jet comes into land, Y/n gentle wakes Mia up, whilst I give Yelena a slap on the shoulder to rouse her. Y/n holds Mia on her hip, who is clinging to her mama as the ramp of the jet starts to lower. We're surprised to see such a welcoming party. Everyone is there, including Fury and Maria. I can see that it's overwhelming Y/n a little, but she takes a deep breath and starts to walk forwards.

"Agent Y/l/n. Good to see you again. You too little one." Fury greets booping Mia's nose. He quickly clears his throat when he notices we're all looking at him in shock and mutters something about important work to do before leaving. That leaves us with the team and the nerves have hit Y/n again. "Who's this?" Tony asks pointing to the child in Y/n's arms. "This is Mia. My daughter." The team gasp at Y/n's response. "Hi." Mia whispers giving a cute little wave. "No one hurts Y/n or my niece. If you do I will make your life hell." Yelena protectively growls. There's an agreement from the team as they slowly make their way forward to greet Y/n. Each giving their own apology.

"I'm going to build you a specific section here at the compound. I'll make sure you each have your own room and a living space. A place you can call home." Tony excitedly rambles on as he guides Y/n inside. "In the meantime, I'll arrange for your room to be kitted out for the two of you." He carries on. I can see the appreciation in Y/n's eyes as Tony rushes off, ordering Friday to order a new bed.

"Uh, Y/n. Could we talk?" Steve approaches Y/n, which causes Yelena and I to naturally step between them. "Please I just want to apologise." He pleads. "I'll take my little munchkin. Don't fuck up." Yelena warns, taking Mia from Y/n's arms. "fuck..." Y/n's head snaps to Mia as the colour drains from Yelena's face. "You are going to fix that." Y/n growls at Yelena who instantly apologises and rushes off, telling Mia that she can't say that word again.

I step away, but make sure I'm in ear shot should Steve not be being truthful with his intentions. "I just want to apologise for what I said that day and how I treated you whilst you were with us. I'm not going to make up any excuses because there aren't any. I was out of order, and I hope over time you can forgive me. You were an asst to this team, I was just too blind to see it." He's genuine in his delivery and I can see the cogs turning in Y/n's head. "Over time I think I can forgive you. Just don't be an ass again. I've got more to lose this time and I will do anything to protect that." She warns and I'm so happy that she is standing up for herself. "Of course. You and your daughter are safe here." He reassures her.

Content with the apology, Y/n moves further into the compound to find the two troublemakers. I follow to see Yelena and Mia asleep on Y/n's bed. "Remind me why I agreed for these two to live together?" She sighs. "Because we both unfortunately have her as our sister." I tease causing Y/n to laugh. "I know that Mia is safe here as long as Yelena's around." She whispers and I wrap my arm around her. "You're both safe here. I'll make sure of it." I tell her firmly. She looks up at me and our eyes lock on each other. I know that I will protect this woman with my life.

Two years later

I couldn't be happier in this moment as I hold Y/n close to me as the music plays. "I can't believe you're finally my wife." I whisper to her as her head rests against my shoulder, our bodies swaying to the beat. "Took you long enough to ask." She jokes and I pinch her side. "Hey! I had a real fear you'd say no." I defend weakly. "Unfortunately, you managed to worm your way into my heart that there was never going to be a chance I could keep going in this life without you. I was just waiting for you to take the leap." She responds, lifting her head to lock her gaze with mine.

"Oh, shut up. I had this from our daughter too. Bugging me every day to marry you. In fact, I think I was ambushed!" I tease and she laughs. "Well, you're stuck with me now. I'm not letting go." She replies. I lean down so my lips are hovering over hers. "Good, me neither." I whisper as I connect our lips in a soft kiss. "When are we going to tell our little spider that she's going to be a big sister?" I ask, placing my hand on my wife's stomach. "After the honeymoon. I want to have this time together first." She answers to which I easily agree. I will do anything for my wife and my kids.

#Natasha Romanoff #Natasha #Romanoff #Natasha Romanoff x Reader #Natasha Romanoff x Y/n #Natasha Romanoff Fanfiction #Yelena Belova #Marvel #Marvel Fanfiction #Avengers #Avengers Fanfiction

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harmoonix · 9 months

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🌺 Harmony Astrology Observations 🌺

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Info Box: Asteroid Harmonia [40] in my opinion can repsent how to live a harmony life, how to find your harmony and peace and of course how peaceful your destiny might be

Harmonia is the daughter of Lady Aphrodite and Ares in some other stories the daughter of Zeus and Electra, she repsent the harmony all around the world, she has an very interesting story in the Greek Mythology, her opposite/shadow being the goddess Eris [goddess of discord]

🌺 Asteroid Harmonia [40] in signs:

Harmonia in Aries - Having a very beautiful personalty and finding peace where there is chaos, very passionate about the things they love, someone who know their worth and confident/loyal

Harmonia in Taurus - Grace and gentle are what these natives are born with, very natural and very pretty they try to find harmony in everything around them

Harmonia in Gemini - Such a beautiful voice omg, calming voice, trying to find harmony in taking with others and making them feeling better

Harmonia in Cancer - Such a nurturing soul, very innocent and sensbile, they are very loving and caring with everyone trying to find harmony in their home and in others

Harmonia in Leo - Shinning like a star they are very sweet and very outgoing, trying to find harmony in their personality and having a good amount of confidence is always welcoming

Harmonia in Virgo - An empath soul full of kind energy ready to help those who need their help and supportive of others, trying to find harmony in their everyday life and in their thoughts

Harmonia in Libra - Balance and Peace are 2 things these natives always try to focus on, they can be very pretty and aesthetically pleasing trying to find harmony in their balance of emotions, something like brain vs heart

Harmonia in Scorpio - Such an mystic aura is around them, these natives are very curious of what is hiding in the dark and very possesive trying to find harmony in their emotions

Harmonia in Sagittarius - An free spirit, someone very wise, appealing and funny, they are always in the search for something new or something funny to do, trying to find harmony in their freedom and rules

Harmonia in Capricorn - Someone very gentle and noble, respectable and with a lot of charisma, they are trying to find harmony in their work, thoughts and society

Harmonia in Aquarius - Very authentic and creative, they are inovative and like to experience a lot of things, unique, finding harmony in their creations, socializing and being authentic

Harmonia in Pisces:Oooo this is giving the 2 fish ying and yang I'm sure a lot of people know about the symbol, they are empathic and romantic, finding harmony in their mediation and in their dreams

🌺 Asteroid Harmonia in houses:

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Harmonia in the 1st house - Someone who can be very harmonious and peaceful, the native can be very calm and nurturing, native has this harmonious energy around them

Harmonia in the 2nd house - They love it when they go shopping and they spend money on the things they like, having an harmonious life and good mood while shopping and buying things will always be an interest for them

Harmonia in the 3rd house - Well darling, your voice is very sweet and calm, someone with a very harmonious voice and sweet manners, aswell someone with very beautiful siblings (In case you have)

Harmonia in the 4th - Your home might be your safety and the best place to be in, your family might be your biggest comfort and your healer energy fits everything in Harmony

Harmonia in the 5th house - The native lives their life at the fullest and enjoying everything, someone with a very harmonious energy and very playful to be around

Harmonia in the 6th house - A good state of mind,such an peaceful soul and someone very peaceful when it comes to meditation and working, they might adore to work alone, someone with a very peaceful way of thinking

Harmonia in the 7th house - The native is pretty charming and has a very harmonious love life (If they met the right partner ofc), someone very harmonious in relationships and love

Harmonia in the 8th house - Harmonious sensual life and harmony going around those who are trying to heal after they have been hurt,they have a special kind of harmony when they heal from everything that happens bad

Harmonia in the 9th house - The native has a very graceful way of believing in their own energies and powers, here we talk about someone with a very harmonious spiritual life and with very strong beliefs

Harmonia in the 10th house - Uuuu, someone with a very good reputation and an harmonious career, your job/workplace can feel like a home/safe place

Harmonia in the 11th house - Wow, someone who can connect very harmoniously with people and making a bound with them can happen with this placement, someone with a very peaceful and happy friendships

Harmonia in the 12th - The native has a very harmonious spirit/soul, someone who can connected easily with their spiritual gifts and aswell natives with these placements tend to be really shy/innocent and kinda quiet at some points because their heart talks for them instead

🌸 Some little aspects observations;

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An prominent Harmonia asteroid in someone's chart can make the native to live and be harmonious. They can be very pleasant and peaceful aswell as having harmonious relationships

Harmonia trine/sextile/conjunct Ascendant can give the native a very pleasant personality someone who wants peace and wants to live peacefully

Harmonia square/opposition Ascendant can make the native to be in search for that harmony, someone who might want to live in harmony but ends up in chaos

Harmonia square/opposite Moon can make the native to not be aware of their harmony around them or might be hard for them to have a peaceful mind/soul that's because they could have been hurt and it takes hard to heal

Harmonia trine/sextile/conjunct Venus makes the native effortlessly beautiful and pleasent, very peaceful in love relationships and someone with a good heart, aswell it can bring harmony in love relationships since Venus is Aphrodite and is her mom (I luvvv these aspects)

Harmonia square/opposite Venus can find it hard to find harmony in their lives or relationships,it may because they always met the wrong partners or end up hurt by someone, try to have standards and to wait for the right partner to come in your life

Harmonia opposite/square/ Jupiter can lack harmony when it comes to their lives because they might be too focused on other things and would rather let the chaos to come in. Jupiter doesn't take the harmony away from them but it might be restrictive if they don't know how to live in harmony

Harmonia sextile/trine/conjunct Mercury can have a very nice voice, someone who can talk very gracefully and in good manners,

Harmonia square/opposite Mercury can be prone to shyness or to anxiety while talking and that can disturb their harmony, your voice is so calmy and different from others, you need to learn how to use it in good moments

Harmonia conjunct/trine/sextile Sun makes the native to embrace more harmony and peace in their lives and aswell trying to be peaceful and positive

Harmonia opposite/square MC might have an chaotic job/workplace, please don't enter in conflicts or in contact with bad people just try to focus on yourself and on your job 🫶🏼

Harmonia trine/sextile/conjunct Pluto can transform chaos in harmony, they can change it if they want to, all you have to do is to be an open minded and to not let any negative energy to come in your area

So how could I, Harmoonix to not make a post about harmony... wouldn't make sense to not make a post about this one since is my topic 💅🏼.

The Goddess Harmonia has a very interesting story in the Greek mythology, she has to embody this harmony traits in her life in order to make it good or bad, to create or to destroy. And is very interesting since her opposite/shadow figure is Eris the Goddess of chaos and from here a lot of things happen 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫

🙏🏼🤍 I hope everyone reading my posts has a good day full of blessings and warm energy 🤍🙏🏼

Harmoonix 💋

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