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kjack89 · 3 years

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An Agreement Between Gentlemen (Chapter 9/14)

Continuation of the E/R Bridgerton AU, regency-era fake-marriage fic. I feel confident enough in the remainder of my outline to finally put the end chapter number up top, though of course, it’s subject to change because I’m, you know, me. (Chapter 1 tumblr | AO3, chapter 2 tumblr | AO3, chapter 3 tumblr | AO3, chapter 4 tumblr | AO3, chapter 5 tumblr | AO3, chapter 6 tumblr | AO3, chapter 7 tumblr | AO3, chapter 8 tumblr | AO3)

Rarely has this Author been so inundated with the same piece of news, and so while most readers likely already know this, it must still be reported for those apparently unaware or living under a rock: the Marquess of Enjolras has made his triumphant return to the city.

But those hoping to catch a glimpse of the new Marchioness will find themselves disappointed: the Marchioness has returned to her family home, having apparently fallen ill while on her honeymoon. Still, there is plenty of time left in the season for her to make an appearance, so all hope is not lost.

And while she has not yet taken her place in the Enjolras manor, this Author has learned that her brother has been invited to stay with the Marquess, a move that gives no credence to the rumors that the two have fallen out ahead of the Marquess’s marriage to Mr. Grantaire’s sister. Indeed, if anything, the pair’s unlikely friendship seems only stronger now, which only proves that the marriage mart truly does make strange bedfellows.

Far more important than their living situation, of course, is the annual de Courfeyrac ball this very evening. With the Marquess back in town, he is certain to attend, and this Author is equally certain that even without his new bride to accompany him, all eyes will surely be on the one bachelor who got away…LADY WHISTELDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 14 MAY 1831

“Stop fidgeting.”

“I’m not fidgeting,” Enjolras grumbled, though he reluctantly stopped playing with the cuff of his shirtsleeves.

Grantaire rolled his eyes as the receiving line at the de Courfeyrac Ball inched forward. “You are so,” he said in an undertone. “And leave your damned cravat alone, it took me near a quarter hour to get it to lay right.”

Enjolras had barely even starting to reach up to adjust his cravat, and his hand fell back to his side as he gave Grantaire a look. “Yes, but only because you were the one who untied it in the first place.”

As Grantaire had indeed been the one who had untied it, in the carriage ride over to the de Courfeyrac manor, mostly to give himself better access to Enjolras’s neck, his self-satisfied grin was somewhat to be expected. “Yes, well, can you really blame me?” he murmured, eyeing Enjolras appreciatively. “I know you hate formal dress, but by God, man, you were made to wear an evening coat.”

Enjolras could not help but preen at that, just a little, even as he warned Grantaire teasingly, “Keep looking at me like that and our cover will be blown sooner than you think.”

Grantaire just laughed lightly. “Please,” he said dismissively. “I’ve been looking at you like this for ten years now with none the wiser.” He paused and considered it. “Or at least, with none willing to comment on it, and I doubt very much that would change now.”

But Enjolras was still focused on the first part of what Grantaire had said. “You’ve really been looking at me like this for a decade?”

Grantaire smirked. “Again, can you blame me?”

Enjolras hesitated, wondering for not the first time what it had been like for Grantaire, to love him as he had for as long as he had, and with Enjolras among those none the wiser. “Does it bother you that I never noticed?”

“I think it would have bothered me more if you had,” Grantaire said, sounding a little surprised by the question. “I wasn’t ready for you to know before.”

“And now?”

Grantaire shrugged, a little helplessly. “Well, that cat’s quite out of the bag regardless, isn’t it?” he asked, before his voice softened, just slightly. “Besides, no matter how prepared I was, it was worth it in the end.”

Enjolras smiled as well. “Keep talking like that and I might be tempted to do something untowards,” he murmured, bending his head toward Grantaire.

“Scandalous,” Grantaire said, with a wicked smirk. “Besides, keep talking like that and I might just let you.”

Enjolras let out a laugh, but his amusement did not last long. As the line barely moved, he could not help but bounce on the balls of his feet, trying to glance over the top of the receiving line. “I wish Courf would just let us go in with having to go through the whole thing,” he muttered.

“Yes, I too wish my friends would allow me to break all social protocol just because I dread having to sit through it,” Grantaire said wryly. “But alas, seeing as how we live in the real world…”

He trailed off as the line started moving again, and finally, with only a few more minutes’ delay, Enjolras and Grantaire were at the front of the receiving line. “Enjolras!” Courfeyrac called, sounding elated, and he grasped Enjolras by both shoulders before leaning in and kissing both his cheeks. “And Grantaire!” To Enjolras’s surprise, he embraced Grantaire in much the same way – and judging by Grantaire’s wide eyes, he was equally surprised.

“Christ, Courfeyrac, have you been borrowing Jehan’s opium?” Grantaire muttered when Courfeyrac finally released him.

Courfeyrac ignored him, just beaming at both of them. “From brothers in arms to brothers in law!” he trilled, clapping his hands together. “What an unexpected twist to this tale. Enjolras, you must find me later and fill me in on the details.”

Enjolras tried to smile, though he was pretty sure it looked more like a wince. “I am certain you would track me down if I didn’t.”

Courfeyrac laughed loudly and waved them through. For as long as he had waited to finally get inside, Enjolras found himself hesitating at the ballroom entrance, dreading what welcome awaited him within in the wake of his ‘scandal’ and marriage.

As if sensing exactly what he was feeling, Grantaire found his hand and covertly squeezed it, his own hand warm and strong in Enjolras’s. “Be easy,” he whispered in Enjolras’s ear, and for the first time all evening, Enjolras relaxed, just slightly.

Of course, he tensed once again when they finally entered the ballroom, and the first person Enjolras saw across the way was Combeferre. He reached out blindly for Grantaire’s arm, gripping his elbow harder than he likely needed to.

This was always going to be the hardest part of their charade, as Enjolras had confided in Grantaire the previous night as they lay together in his bed, neither one tired enough yet to fall asleep. “I don’t know what to tell Combeferre and Courfeyrac,” he had confessed, turning so that he was facing Grantaire.

“What were you planning on telling them before?” Grantaire had asked, curiosity clear in his voice.

“Before what?” Enjolras had asked.

Grantaire had given him a look. “Before, when it was just a straightforward fictional marriage,” he said dryly.

“Oh.” Enjolras flushed slightly. “Frankly, I hadn’t given it much thought. I was certainly going to allude to the arrangement solving certain matters with my mother, and let them draw their own conclusions.”

“And that same answer will no longer suffice?”

Enjolras had drawn Grantaire close to kiss him lightly. “Frankly, I suspect my interactions with you will undermine the credibility of that explanation. Combeferre and Courfeyrac are not stupid, and decidedly more observant than myself.”

Grantaire’s expression softened. “Then we need not interact in front of them,” he had said quietly. “I am overdue in seeing Joly and Bossuet, and it is not as if any of our friends expects me to be at your side all evening. Or at all, frankly.”

While Enjolras had agreed at the time, now, faced with the reality of the situation, he wanted nothing more than Grantaire to stay at his side. But Grantaire was already pulling away, even as the look he gave Enjolras was gentle, and understanding. “They’re your friends,” he reminded Enjolras in an undertone.

“They’re your friends as well,” Enjolras muttered. “And they will likely forgive neither of us for the deception.”

“Forgive? Perhaps not, or at least not immediately. But they will understand.”

“Will they?” Enjolras asked, more rhetorical than anything, and mostly because Grantaire had already abandoned him, making a beeline to where Joly and Bossuet were talking quietly together in the corner.

With no excuse left, Enjolras crossed to where Combeferre waited, feeling more nervous than he frankly expected to be. Combeferre’s expression was completely neutral as he approached, which did not help Enjolras’s nerves. “Hello,” Combeferre said when Enjolras finally reached him. “Long time no see. Anything new with you?”

Enjolras laughed lightly. Combeferre’s dry humor had never before failed to put him at ease, and this was no exception. “Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that,” he said airily before adding, in a more serious tone, “I certainly doubt either you or I were expecting the events of the past few weeks.”

“After the scene your mother made at the Musain?” Combeferre returned with an arched eyebrow. “I expected you married within the fortnight. Grantaire’s sister was a twist I did not see coming.”

Enjolras shrugged, avoiding meeting Combeferre’s eyes. “Yes, well. A twist, but perhaps not as unpleasant a one as some would expect.”

Combeferre nodded slowly, looking at him closely. “Whatever anyone may say, you seem happy,” he remarked.

“Well, I am rid of my mother,” Enjolras said. “Or will be, once I hand over the dowry.”

Combeferre’s expression didn’t change as he took a sip of his drink. “I didn’t say you seemed relieved. I said you seem happy.”

As usual, Combeferre saw right through him, and Enjolras took a moment to compose his answer, opting for as much of the truth as he could give. “I suppose I am happy,” he said. “It’s...freeing, in a way, to know that part of my future is settled.”

“To be free,” Combeferre murmured. “What greater thing is there.”

Enjolras smiled. “Precisely.”

Combeferre nodded slowly. “Well, if you are happy, then I am happy,” he assured Enjolras, before adding, in a slightly disapproving tone, “Of course, Grantaire’s going to be a bit insufferable for awhile, I suppose.”

Enjolras felt his heart stop. Had Combeferre figured them out so quickly? “What do you mean?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

Combeferre raised an eyebrow. “Surely you realize – you’ve rather elevated his status.”

“In what way?”

“By marrying his sister, he is now brother-in-law to a marquess,” Combeferre said slowly, and Enjolras felt immediate relief that he had not figured him out. “Which may very well make him the most eligible bachelor here. A fact I’m certain he’s realized, even if you haven’t.”

He nodded towards the corner that Grantaire had headed to, but where previously he’d been in conversation with Joly and Bossuet, now they seemed surrounded by numerous young women. Enjolras’s initial relief was replaced by a pit in his stomach as he watched one such lady laugh, touching Grantaire’s arm in a way that made Enjolras’s vision go red.

Combeferre, as he always seemed to be, was correct. Before, Grantaire had been notorious as a rake whose sole redeeming quality was association with many powerful peers and gentry. But now, while he may still offer no title, he offered societal status that far too many mothers would crave for their daughters.

And even though Grantaire seemed quite convinced of his affection for Enjolras, there was little doubt that this could change things. After all, while Enjolras would get no enjoyment from marriage to any woman in the entire city, Grantaire very well might.

He was so busy watching Grantaire flirt (or at least, not automatically brush the young women off, which was tantamount to the same thing in Enjolras’s mind) that he barely noticed when Combeferre was pulled into a different conversation entirely, leaving him standing alone. It ended up for the best, though, as he then had no need to make an excuse for crossing the ballroom, making a beeline for Grantaire.

But he was intercepted on his way by Éponine Thenárdier, who blocked his path entirely. “Lord Enjolras,” she said, smiling sweetly at him.

Enjolras jerked a nod. “Miss Thenárdier,” he muttered, trying in vain to sidestep her, but she moved swiftly to again block his path.

“You must allow me to congratulate you on your nuptials,” she told him, her tone saccharine. “I wish you nothing but happiness, no matter how surprising the event was.”

Internally, Enjolras rolled his eyes, knowing damn well that she was trying to goad him into sharing details that would almost invariably make their way into Lady Whistledown the moment he spoke them. Externally, he forced a smile that almost certainly looked more like a grimace. “I’m not certain there’s much of a causal link between surprise and happiness, but thank you nonetheless.”

Éponine laughed lightly. “But where is your lovely bride this evening?”

She almost certainly already knew the answer, having undoubtedly read about it like everyone else had in Lady Whistledown, but Enjolras nonetheless gritted his teeth and told her, “I’m afraid she is ill, and staying at her family home in the country until she recovers.”

“Oh, how dreadful,” she said, though Enjolras noted she didn’t sound particularly upset by the news. “And we were all so eager to meet her.”

“I’m sure you were,” Enjolras muttered, before Grantaire appeared without warning at his side.

“Isn’t it a lovely ball?” he asked, so brightly that Enjolras wondered for a moment if he had been hit in the head – or been hitting the whiskey already. “It is as if someone has unhooked the stars and put them on the table in the guise of candles, don’t you think?”

Éponine’s smile slipped, for just a moment. “Indeed,” she murmured politely, but the look she gave Grantaire was icy as she swept away, clearly put out at having her attempted interrogation so rudely interrupted.

Grantaire smirked as he watched her leave, resting his hand on Enjolras’s back, a little too low to be entirely proper. “The trick,” he murmured in Enjolras’s ear, “is to be so banal that absolutely no one wishes to continue the conversation.”

Despite himself and the jealousy he could still feel, Enjolras was unable to stop his smile. “Is that your secret?” he asked in an undertone.

“My secret is usually to get drunk as quickly as possible and then disappear without saying goodbye,” Grantaire said cheerfully. “But as I am in polite company—” He nodded his head graciously at Enjolras, who rolled his eyes affectionately. “—we must make do together.”

And indeed they did. Enjolras was shocked to find that Grantaire’s trick of not providing any details about his fictional wife and instead speaking of the decor, or the weather, or something equally boring was enough to forestall almost all conversation that followed. It helped, he realized, as he and Grantaire made the rounds together, that far fewer young women and their mothers attempted to monopolize his time or beg him for a dance, almost certainly because they had set their sights on more available targets, and the ones that did want to make conversation were after gossip, like Éponine, and easily thwarted.

But neither was what really made the evening bearable; instead, it was Grantaire who proved the difference in the evening.. Grantaire, always quick with a quip or scathing observation under his breath, who stayed by his side despite the invitations to dance that he received. Grantaire, who knew without Enjolras needing to say a word when they needed to stop for refreshments or be pulled away from the conversation. Grantaire, who was as easy a companion as Enjolras had ever had.

And Grantaire who was, according to Combeferre at least, now the most eligible bachelor in the place.

As much as Grantaire was turning this most dreaded part of his social obligations into, perhaps not the most anticipated, but at least something that could be enjoyed rather than merely endured, Enjolras could not shake what Combeferre had said, or the pit that formed in his stomach when he thought about it.

“Is everything alright?” Grantaire asked an hour or so later, his brow furrowed as he looked at Enjolras.

“Fine,” Enjolras said quickly, giving him a tight smile. “Just a bit warm in here, do you not think?”

Grantaire studied him closely for a moment. “Perhaps we should step out onto the balcony,” he suggested. “Get some air.”

“That sounds like a good—”

“There you are!” Courfeyrac exclaimed with his usual exuberance as he joined them, oblivious to how close Enjolras had been to escaping. “As promised, since you did not come find me later as requested, I have instead hunted you down. And Grantaire is still at your side, how lovely.”

“Not for long,” Grantaire said, ignoring the pleading look Enjolras shot him. “I’m due for a refill. Anything for either of you?”

He did not wait for a reply, leaving Enjolras alone with Courfeyrac, whose smile had sharpened. “Come now, you can afford to look a little less panicked,” he said innocently, looping his arm through Enjolras’s. “After all, people will think you don’t wish to speak to one of your oldest friends.”

“Speak with, or be interrogated by?” Enjolras muttered.

Courfeyrac’s grin widened. “Potato, po-tah-to.” He patted Enjolras’s arm reassuringly. “But truly, more the former than the latter. Too many prying ears, and I’d rather learn the details of your scandal where they can’t be transmitted to the inimitable Lady Whistledown.”

Enjolras snorted. “Yes, that would be a shame,” he said dryly.

But something in his tone made Courfeyrac pause, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at Enjolras. “I was hardly anticipating you being the model of wedded bliss, but you seem far too downtrodden for someone who must no longer put up with the marriage mart. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Enjolras said, by instinct alone, and when Courfeyrac just looked at him, he sighed and relented. “Just something Combeferre said.”

He was expecting Courfeyrac to demand details, details that Enjolras would not be able to share without revealing the truth, but to his surprise, Courfeyrac just rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, ignore him,” he said. “He’s just jealous.”

Enjolras frowned. “Jealous?” he repeated. “Of what?”.

Courfeyrac looked at him as if the answer was obvious. “He thinks he’s been replaced, you fool,” he said impatiently, and when Enjolras still looked confused, added, “As your best friend. By Grantaire.”

The statement was so absurd that Enjolras barked a laugh before realizing Courfeyrac was entirely serious. “Really?” he asked derisively. “Forgive me, I did not realize we were still in the nursery.”

Courfeyrac just shrugged. “Perhaps not, but you cannot deny that he used to be your partner in crime when it came to your schemes.” He gave Enjolras an appraising look. “And whatever else you may say, you and I, I think, can acknowledge that this is a scheme of some variety, though of which, I could not say.”

Enjolras felt stricken at the realization of how Combeferre had interpreted his involvement with Grantaire, which, of course, couldn’t be further from the truth. “I never thought—”

Courfeyrac patted his arm. “Of course you didn’t.”

Enjolras sighed and tugged his arm out of Courfeyrac’s grip. “Still, I should go apologize.”

“You should do no such thing,” Courfeyrac said firmly, turning to face him head on. “You’ve done nothing wrong, but even if you had, actions speak louder than words. Spend some time planning with him before the next Les Amis gathering, and all will be forgiven.”

“But not forgotten.”

Courfeyrac just looked amused. “My dear fellow, none of us, I think, will be able to forget the moment when you and Grantaire finally stopped trying to kill each other using just your words.” His expression softened. “And believe me, no matter what Combeferre may say, we’re all quite grateful that you have.” His eyebrows raised. “Speaking of Grantaire, I believe he wants a word.”

He nodded over Enjolras’s shoulder, and Enjolras turned to find Grantaire, holding two glasses of champagne and gesturing with his head toward the door that led out to the balcony. Enjolras nodded his understanding, and turned back to Courfeyrac, who had already disappeared into the crowd.

Enjolras crossed to the balcony door as quickly as possible to avoid being waylaid once more, and this time, he was successful. Never had he been so relieved to find himself alone and out of doors, even if the night was unseasonably cold. Grantaire laughed lightly from where he was leaning against the balcony railing. “You look like you need this more than I do,” he said, offering Enjolras one of the glasses of champagne.

Enjolras took it gratefully and drained it in one long gulp. “I did need that,” he told Grantaire, setting the empty glass down on the flat top of the wide marble balustrade. “I suppose I did not fully appreciate how complicated this all was going to be on my return.”

Grantaire eyed him carefully, his expression unreadable. “Curious,” he said lightly. “You normally think through every detail before you take any action.”

Enjolras shrugged. “Desperation apparently made me less thorough,” he said. “And, of course, there were unanticipated complications along the way that I did not account for.”

Grantaire let out a light, humorless laugh. “Am I to assume that I am one of those complications?”

“Yes,” Enjolras said, not seeing any point in sugarcoating the truth. “Though a mostly welcome complication.”

Grantaire nodded slowly. “Who would have thought the word ‘mostly’ could feel like a dagger being driven into me,” he murmured, though he also hastened to add, “I jest, I jest.”

Enjolras traced a finger along the line of the balustrade. “I did not intend to hurt you by saying it,” he said heavily. “Only I think we need to be honest with one another.”

Grantaire searched his expression for a long moment. “I have been entirely honest with you,” he said carefully. “So if there is anyone with something to hide…”

He trailed off, looking at Enjolras expectantly. “Not to hide,” Enjolras hedged. “But one of the complications I did not anticipate has revealed itself this evening, and that is related to your social standing.”

Grantaire blinked. “My— what?”

“Combeferre pointed out that by me marrying your sister, your status has risen to one of the most eligible bachelors,” Enjolras explained. “And that knowledge complicates things.”

“How so?” Grantaire asked, his brow furrowed.

Enjolras shrugged, avoiding Grantaire’s eyes. “You have...options now, I suppose,” he muttered. “Real options, for a real marriage.” He hesitated before adding, “Options that I would not discourage you from exploring.”

Grantaire nodded slowly, turning to stare out at the sprawling grounds that surrounded the manner. After a long moment, he asked softly, “Am I being thrown over, then?”

“What?” Enjolras asked, confused.

“Is this your rather inelegant attempt to be rid of me?” Grantaire asked, his voice brittle. “Trying to soften the blow by intimating that I now have ‘options’?”

Enjolras stared blankly at him. “Of course not,” he spluttered. “That’s not at all what—”

“Then tell me,” Grantaire interrupted, “when I told you, multiple times now, that I love you, did you think I was speaking falsely?”

Enjolras scowled. “Not at all, but you did not know all the facts then!”

“And what facts could possibly matter in this regard?”

“The fact that you have a real chance to make a marriage match that would improve your standing and your family’s standing!” Enjolras snapped, though he wasn’t quite sure why he was angry, and especially at Grantaire. “You could secure a future for your lineage that any man would be envious of. It’s why most men put themselves through these torturous affairs.”

Grantaire just shook his head. “Most men, but not you, and certainly not me,” he said quietly.

Something in his tone caused Enjolras to deflate, but it also allowed him to realize why he was so angry, or more accurately, at whom he was so angry: himself. He had dragged Grantaire down this path, and this was perhaps the last real opportunity that either had to part ways before irreparable damage was done. “Think of what you are saying,” he said, his voice low and urgent. “I cannot offer you anything, not my name, not my title, not even the promise of the future if we are discovered. You deserve so much more than that.”

Grantaire shook his head again, but slower this time, and with a crooked sort of smile. “You can offer me the only thing I have ever wanted: you,” he said simply. “There is no one on Earth who can offer me more than that.” Enjolras shook his head, ready to interrupt, but Grantaire did not let him. “Do not seek to dismiss my words, when I mean every one of them. There is no happiness that I would find now with any other, not now that I know what true happiness is. Not now when I know what true love is.”

The breath caught in Enjolras’s throat, and for a moment, he could not speak. If he had been waiting for the perfect moment to finally tell Grantaire that he loved him, he knew he would never find one better than this. The music from the waltz taking place inside the ballroom swelled, and Enjolras leaned in toward Grantaire, reaching out to lightly cover Grantaire’s hand resting on the railing with his own. “Grantaire,” he started, his voice soft, “I—”

But before he could get the two most important words out, the doors to the balcony banged open, and Enjolras and Grantaire instinctively moved apart as two giggling couples spilled out of the ballroom.

The moment was thoroughly ruined, which perhaps explained the face Grantaire made as he turned back to Enjolras. “Shall we consider this our sign to adjourn for the evening?”

“Yes please,” Enjolras said with a sigh of relief.

His relief was short-lived, however, as a current of tension resonated between them as they made their way back through the ballroom and then waited out front until his carriage pulled around. As soon as they were inside and en route back to his place, Enjolras cleared his throat. “Shall we continue our conversation?”

Grantaire sighed. “I did not realize there was more to say.”

Enjolras gave him a look. “There is always more to say.”

“That should really be your family motto,” Grantaire muttered. “Plus semper est dicere.”

“I don’t think that’s an accurate translation,” Enjolras said mildly. “Though at least it’d probably be more appropriate than my actual family motto, Nox finiet.”

“Perhaps I’ll have Marius figure out the correct translation, then, and we can have it engraved on our stationary.”

Ordinarily, Enjolras probably would have laughed, but now, Grantaire’s attempt at glib just fell flat. “Grantaire—”

Grantaire ignored him. “After all, my family is too new amongst the gentry to have a motto of our own. Of course, if I ever got to pick a family motto, I’d probably choose Fidelitas usque ad mortem.”

His words were pointed, and Enjolras swallowed, hard. “Faithful until death.”

Grantaire met his gaze steadily. “And I aim to be.”

“I do not doubt that you will be,” Enjolras said quietly. “I only wish that you would consider what your loyalty will cost you.”

Grantaire reached out and took his hand. “Even if it costs me everything in this life and the next, it will be more than worth it.” He raised Enjolras’s hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “If you will have me, at least.”

Enjolras squeezed his hand, but before he could respond, the carriage jolted to a stop, and he glanced outside. “We’re home already?” he asked, somewhat surprised.

Grantaire just chuckled lightly. “One day we’ll figure out our timing,” he said before stepping out of the carriage and turning to help Enjolras down.

But Enjolras was not so willing to surrender the moment this time. As soon as his driver had left, he grabbed Grantaire’s hand, pulling him away from the lamplight at the door. “Before we go in, there’s something that I wished to say.”

“Something so secret you dare not speak it in earshot of your servants?” Grantaire asked, amused.

“Be serious,” Enjolras said with a frown.

Grantaire just smiled at him, his eyes sparkling even in the dim light. “I am wild.”

“Grantaire…”

“Fine, fine,” Grantaire said, chuckling. “What is it you wished to say?”

Enjolras took a deep breath. “Only that our time together has meant more to me than I ever thought it could. Not just our time up north, when it was just the two of us. But our time tonight as well. “

“Even when we were quarreling?” Grantaire asked.

“Especially when we were quarreling,” Enjolras said firmly. “Because our quarrel came from us wanting the best for each other.” He took both of Grantaire’s hands in his. “I do not know what the future holds, but I know that I want you in it, options be damned. Besides, with you at my side, I’m beginning to think anything is possible.”

Grantaire was quiet for a long moment before he leaned in and kissed Enjolras gently. “I may not share your belief in possibility, but I too have valued our time together,” he said softly. “It is everything I always dreamt it would be, and so much more.”

Enjolras laughed breathily. “You dismiss my belief in possibility, only to speak of dreams?”

Grantaire half-smiled. “Possibility speaks to hope,” he said with a shrug. “I never hoped my dreams would come true, though I am gladder than words can say that they have. That they are.” He squeezed Enjolras’s hands. “And who knows, you may make a believer out of me yet.”

This was Enjolras’s moment, and he took a deep breath, ready to finally say those three words he knew Grantaire wanted to hear more than anything else. “Grantaire, I—”

“Lord Enjolras?”

Enjolras could not stop the groan that escaped from his lips as he let go of Grantaire’s hands at the sound of his butler’s voice. “What is it, Porter?” he asked tiredly, taking a step towards the now-open door.

Porter cleared his throat. “Begging your pardon for the interruption,” he said, “but we’ve received word from the Marchioness.” Enjolras and Grantaire exchanged startled glances, and Porter corrected himself. “Beg pardon, the Dowager Marchioness. Your mother.”

Enjolras felt the blood drain from his face. “Christ,” he muttered. “What does she want?”

“She is planning on visiting tomorrow morning,” Porter said, glancing at Grantaire before looking back at Enjolras. “And I thought you would want to know immediately so that, ah, arrangements can be made.”

Not for the first time, Enjolras wondered how much Porter had surmised of what was going on between himself and Grantaire, and decided quickly that he cared less than making sure his mother knew absolutely nothing. “You were correct, Porter, thank you,” he said, and Porter nodded before closing the door again.

Enjolras sighed and looked back at Grantaire, but before he could say anything, Grantaire cleared his throat. “I should spend the night at mine tonight,” he said, in a tone that brooked no argument. “The last thing you need is to start your conversation with your mother with an explanation for our unusual living arrangement.”

“I know that you’re almost certainly right, but I wish to God you weren’t,” Enjolras said, reaching out to draw Grantaire close. “I need you on my side against her.”

Grantaire just laughed and tilted his head up to kiss Enjolras, a quick, fleeting kiss. “You will be fine,” he said with far more confidence than Enjolras felt. “I promise that I will be back tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, but before or after my mother leaves?” Enjolras muttered mutinously.

Grantaire laughed again and pressed one more kiss to Enjolras’s lips. “I love you,” he murmured before stepping away. “And I will see you in the morning.”

Enjolras watched him go, dreading the next morning and wishing more than anything that he had not waited until Grantaire was out of earshot to finally reply, “I love you, too.”

#exr #enjolras x grantaire #enjoltaire #enjolras #grantaire #with some Les Amis actually making a real appearance!#gasp!#les miserables #fanfiction #bridgerton au #regency au #canon era #fake marriage #developing relationship #chaptered #part 9

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httpjeon · 4 years

Text

MINE FOR TODAY — KSJ (M.)

synopsis. as part of a special valentines day sale, you make a bid in hopes to get a special discounted date with one of the dreamy bachelors of club ardor. you decide to choose The Romantic.

pairing. seokjin/reader genre. angst, fluff, smut au. fake dating!au, date-for-hire!au wordcount. 6,171 contents. sad!seokjin, lonely!seokjin, light pining, teasing, protected sex, breast play, fingering, size kink (?), scratching, overstimulation, doggy style, pet names, light aftercare note. seokjins was by far the hardest to write. i have such a difficult time writing him ): i apologize, i did my best for him!

— club ardor masterlist.

Your phone let out a startling ding, making you jump as you hadn't realized you'd forgotten to silence it. Taking a look around your cubicle, you made sure no one had noticed before you pulled it out and went to put in do not disturb mode. Before you did, however, the preview notification caught your attention.

"CLUB ARDOR VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: See Inside for Details."

As you were about to unlock your phone to take a look, you heard the light clicks of your boss's heels coming towards you. You quickly slid your phone back into your drawer and turned your attention to your screen, feigning reading something.

Her footsteps paused outside of your cubicle before she called your name. You spun around in your chair to meet her gaze curiously.

"I really need those expense reports within the next hour, can you do that?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," you nodded, turning around once again to face your desk, "I'm actually almost done, I can probably have them on your desk in 30 minutes."

"That's perfect," she smiled, "Thank you."

You returned her smile and let out a sigh once you heard her footsteps disappear. Shaking your head, you let yourself become absorbed in your work once again -- forgetting about that email you'd received.

You caught a taxi to head home, not feeling like walking even though your apartment was only 5 minutes away. Your feet were aching and you just desperately wanted to take a shower and eat dinner as you'd accidentally missed your lunch break by working through it.

It wasn't the first time you'd considered yourself a bit too much of a workaholic.

It was nearing 11PM by the time you finally were able to settle down on the couch. Your hair was freshly washed and you were wrapped in a soft bathrobe with a nice face mask.

Reclining as the TV played in the background, you unlocked your phone to check after spending most of the day without. You responded to texts and checked your social media before suddenly remembered the email you had received earlier.

"CLUB ARDOR VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: See Inside for Details."

It sat at the top of your emails and when you opened it, you were greeted with an image similar to a party invite. In pretty, cursive font it was written; "Once in a lifetime chance to meet the man of your dreams!"

There was a link beneath it that you clicked, causing it to open a new Safari page. The search bar indicated it had taken you to clubardor.com. It wasn't the first time you'd been on the website.

You heard of it's grand opening half a year ago and went to check it out. Unfortunately, you discovered that even the most basic package was 2 grand for 12 hours. The deluxe had a price that nearly sent you into cardiac arrest.

In the end, you just signed up for newsletters and things to be sent by email.

It seemed it paid off, as you found yourself on a page detailing a Valentine's special.

For the entire month of February, they were hosting a giveaway. According to each Date's schedule, a lucky woman would be chosen from a lottery to get a date with them for just $500 instead of $2,000. The insane discount had your jaw dropping.

You weren't embarrassed to admit that you were curious about the date-for-hire service. Biting your lip, you decided to throw your hat into the ring and place a bid on the special.

"Full money-back guarantee if you're not chosen!" was written in bold letters above the credit card input.

You had no worry about being scammed, Club Ardor had risen to the top in terms of dating services in the country -- after just 6 months of activity and just 7 bachelors available. They had an excellent reputation and were known for having an extremely high-class clientele.

With your lip caught between your teeth, an excited smile on your face, you put your payment information in and hit 'Enter'.

"Thank you for your bid! Please keep an eye on your email within the next week to determine if you've been chosen! Your lottery number is 1-241-994."

You opened up your note app and typed down the number on a blank note for safe keeping.

Returning to the website, you began to do some digging into each of the men available to hire. While their pictures weren't viewable -- for safety reasons, you supposed, there was plenty of information about them.

"Each Date has full control over creating his own scene. Location, dynamic, and length of time will vary. Please speak to your Date for more information on his plans to be sure you have allotted the correct time-frame. Abide by rules and limits he sets."

You flicked through the profiles of each man, eying their listed physical and emotional qualities.

That night, you went to sleep with excitement stirring in your heart.

Somehow, you managed to work through a couple days and ended up forgetting about even signing up for it. You were working so hard to get a promotion so you could escape the shitty cubicle that somehow spending $500 completely slipped your mind.

At least, that was until you were eating a bowl of cereal at nearly 3 in the morning on a Friday night -- 6 days after you had signed up, and your phone pinged with the alert of an email. Holding the spoon in your mouth, you picked up the device and unlocked it without even looking at the notification.

You went to your email and paused when you saw the email was from Club Ardor.

With shaking fingers, you opened it.

"Below are the applicants who filed for the lottery that won. If you do not see your number, expect a monetary refund within the next 24 hours."

You clicked out and went to your note app to check the number you had gotten. Refreshing your memory, you returned to the email and scanned down the list. There were a lot of numbers listed, you quickly realized. But by some miracle, you spotted your own number listed there in the middle.

"If your number is listed, please check your email for further instructions."

You backed out of the email and refreshed, sitting up straight when you realized you had a new one from Club Ardor.

"Congratulations on winning a special night, please follow this link to register for a date with the man of your choice!"

Clicking the bright red hyperlink, you watched the screen load for several seconds and go from white to black.

You flicked through all seven of the men passing the boyfriend, the romantic, the quiet one, the playboy, the softy, the bad boy, and the alpha male. It was easy to rule out the playboy, bad boy, and alpha male -- deeming them a little too hard of scenes than what you would be able to handle.

After a bit of deliberating, you decided on the romantic. He seemed to be the oldest at 26 years old and from the silhouette of his picture, you could see he had a very nice build with hide shoulders and pretty, thin waist. You assumed he would be closer to your type and you did enjoy romance so with a couple of clicks, you were registered for a date with him.

You were brought to another page which held instructions for downloading an application called Club Ardor along with a code it told you to input.

You did as you were instructed, highly impressed with the company's extensive work on the hiring process. It was very obvious to you that Club Ardor was, in fact, suited for those of high class. The service held an obviously high regard for discretion and safety for both its bachelors and clients.

Once the app was downloaded, you opened it and found a box to enter the code you'd been given.

You were then brought to a page to input information such as your name, age, height, likes, dislikes, and preferences. After entering it all, you were brought to an empty text message thread.

Before you could attempt to look around, your phone let out a jingle and a new text message popped up.

From: Seokjin Hi cutie! Our date is set for tomorrow night. Meet me at the Club Ardor building at 7PM sharp. Wear something nice and pretty, but comfortable. Can't wait to see you!

You read the text several times, surprised by the quick work he made before typing out a response letting him know you understood. The final thing he texted was a an address to the building you would meet him at.

Thankfully, your job has required you to dress nicely for business dinners in the past so you had a decent amount of things to wear. You decided on just a flowing dress that was breathable but complimented your figure. Placing it in the front of your closet for easy access, you went through your nightly routine and got into bed.

You worked through the day, it was a Friday so you compiled the information of the entire week and input it into the data system. It kept you busy and the hours passed by quickly.

You got off at 5, having made sure you finished everything as quickly as possible so you wouldn't have to work over time.

"You're in a rush today, _____," your boss smiled as she met you in the elevator, carrying a couple files.

"I um...I have a date tonight," you confessed sheepishly, face flushing when she gasped.

"Congratulations, I hope you have a wonderful time," she said, patting you on the back, "Stay safe, I'll see you on Monday."

The elevator opened to the 3rd floor and she got off, shooting you a little wave before the doors closed again. You were dropped off at the lobby and you adjusted your bag on your shoulder, bidding a goodbye to the receptionist as you exited your building.

Grabbing a taxi, you made your way home.

As soon as you stepped out of the shower, you heard your phone go off from your bedroom. The notification bell for the Club Ardor app was extremely hard to miss.

Wrapping a towel around yourself, you wandered into your bedroom and picked the device up.

From: Seokjin [5:45PM] Super excited, cutie! Can't wait to see you!

You smiled, typing out your response immediately, "Me either! See you soon!".

You were ready earlier than you would have liked. There were still 20 minutes until you could leave and be at Club Ardor on time. You didn't want to be too early or too late.

Timing it just right, you grabbed your purse and slipped your phone into the side pocket before slipping your heels on. The Uber you called pulled up right on time as you exited the lobby of your apartment complex.

Exchanging pleasantries, you crawled into the back seat and let out a nervous breath. Of course it wasn't until you were literally on your way that the nerves would kick in.

Club Ardor came into view at precisely 6:58PM.

The building was a huge high rise building with several floors. Club Ardor was a brightly lit neon sign atop the building. The Uber pulled up to the front curb and you stepped out, checking the time to see it was 6:59PM.

As the Uber sped away, you stepped up to the door, unsure of what to do. Deciding that you should probably let him know you were there, but as you unlocked your phone, the lobby door opened and a man stepped out.

He was dressed in a tux with a bowtie and he looked around for a second before his eyes landed on you.

"_____?" he smiled, walking up to you with his hand out, "It's nice to meet you, I'm Seokjin."

"Hi, Seokjin," you greeted, noting how big his hand was in yours before he pulled away.

"My cars in the garage," he jerked his head in the direction around the building, "Do you want to come or I can pull up."

"I'll...wait here," you said, making him laugh before nodding his head.

"I get it," he waved it off and began to jog around the building.

You could hear the rev of a car engine echo from the garage before a sleek white car came into view. Seokjin got out and jogged around the car to open the door for you.

You thanked him with a soft smile before getting in, pulling the seat belt on as he slammed the door shut.

Once in an enclosed space with him, you were immediately aware of how good he smelled. An almost sweet, fruity perfume wafted off of him and if you looked closely you could see he had a lip tint on.

"So, what's the plan?" you asked, breaking the silence that had settled.

"A romantic date on the water for two," he sighed, almost dreamily.

It couldn't help but laugh, which in turn brought a bright smile onto his face. The atmosphere became increasingly less tense as Seokjin drove to somewhere unknown.

"I'm so hungry," he complained from the driver's seat, making a turn onto a less populated road, "The food is honestly to die for."

"Whoa, what is this place?" you asked, not fully hearing his comment as you watched him pull up at a parking lot near a huge lake.

"This is where our date is, silly!" he grinned, getting out of the car and rounding to open your door for you.

He took your hand, escorting you towards a pier where there was a large boat bobbing with the waters natural movement.

"Hop aboard, lovely," he kept h is hold on your hand as you got onto the boat. He followed you and tugged your hand to get you to follow him.

Your body wavered as the boat suddenly took off but Seokjin was there to steady you with a broad grin.

"Have a seat," he motioned to a small table with two chairs across from one another.

"So," you huffed a laugh as you took a seat, "When you said...dinner on the water."

"I meant it literally," he shrugged, reaching over to click a button and several strings of white fairy lights illuminated everything around you.

"Whoa," you gasped, looking around.

You could see the lights from the buildings on shore and there was a beautiful cast of the moon shining over the water. It was beautiful and as you turned your gaze back to Seokjin, you were surprised to find him leaning his chin on his hand as he watched you.

"Your eyes are sparkling," he said, an almost serene smile on his lips.

In more proper light, you could make out his features more. He had wide shoulders, pretty, plump lips and flawless skin. His eyes were sparkling as well, the dark irises looking like stars were shining within them.

"Would you like to start eating?" he asked, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours. His skin was soft and warm and it made you smile as you nodded.

Dinner was a blur, he had a few dishes available to choose from since he didn't know exactly what you would like. You chose the steak, which seemed to make Seokjin quite happy as he ordered the same thing.

You could see where his romantic title came from as he reached across the table to feed you a couple bites every once in a while. Once the main course was over, the two of you shared a strawberry cheesecake slice after he lit the candle at the end of the table.

You had a good laugh when he failed to light it a few times because the breeze kept blowing it out.

"Now, the next portion of our date I'll admit...it's a little lame," he confessed sheepishly as he walked you back to the car.

"Oh?" you climbed into the seat after he opened the door for you.

"We're going to head back to Club Ardor, drink, and watch movies," he said, turning the key in the ignition.

"It's not lame," you giggled, resting your head back on the seat, "I think it's a great way to unwind."

"I'm glad you feel that way," he said, sounding relieved.

When you finally pulled back up to Club Ardor, Seokjin was blasting music and singing obnoxiously to it. You had your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing too much. Every once in a while, he'd take a look at you and end up laughing midway through his singing.

He pulled into the garage and pulled into a parking spot that had his name on a sign in front of it.

There was a door that he had to scan a card to unlock which led into what appeared to be a lounge room. He didn't waste any time in clicking the button to call the elevator.

Seokjin was comfortable. He had such a calm, relaxing demeanor that it put you at ease.

The two of you sat on the couch and clinked your glasses together before you both downed the shot he had poured. You cringed as it burned going down your throat, leaving a horrible taste in your mouth.

A bit of a lightweight, it didn't take much to get you tipsy and soon you were both losing it over some horrible movie he had accidentally picked.

"I swear it looked good in the previews!" he argued through laughter when you teased him about his choice.

"I'm picking the next one, you've lost movie-picking privileges!" you laughed, stealing the remote from his hands, making him gasp in shock.

He immediately began to try and get it back from you, his body pressed against yours. His perfume once again and it made your eyes flutter.

Pressed against the arm of the couch with Seokjin's body dangerously close to yours, you both paused. He met your eyes, seemingly searching for something in your gaze. As you searched his, you couldn't deny how...sad they looked.

Your breath began to quicken when his face slowly got closer to yours. You could feel his breath against your lips but before they could meet, he was pulling away. He took the remote with him and took his seat beside you once again, leaving you pressing your hand to your chest as your heart raced almost painfully.

There was a terrifyingly loud alarm that rang throughout the room, making you jolt awake.

Looking at the clock, you were disgruntled to see that it was 7 in the morning. Sitting up, you realized you were in bed when you were positive you fell asleep with Seokjin on the couch.

"Hey," he said, making you jump as he suddenly appeared in the doorway, "It's 7am."

"I see that," you mumbled, sliding out of bed, still sleepy.

"Our 12 hours are up."

And just like that it was over.

However, Seokjin didn't leave your mind after that though. Even when you stepped into your apartment, you couldn't stop thinking about him.

Especially how you almost kissed.

You were, of course, aware that Club Ardor dates would occasionally participate in physical intimacy. You hadn't expected it to happen to though. You could still remember the way his scent wafted around you and how close his lips were to yours or that sad look in his eyes.

A week passed by quickly and painlessly. You fell back into a rhythm with work, giving vague replies to your boss when she asked about how it went.

Somehow, Seokjin kept slipping into your mind. You couldn't shake him.

A measly 12 hours with a man you had only just met, and he seemed to have invaded your very subconscious.

That day, after work, you decided to take a detour to a local bar. It wasn't a very big, popular bar but the people in your neighborhood frequented it quite often. The atmosphere was buzzing inside and you made to take a seat at the bar but paused when you spotted a figure you recognized. You blinked several times, making sure you weren't hallucinating him.

"Seokjin?" you asked, making him jump.

His head snapped over to look at you, his eyes wide. He took you in for a second before his face morphed into confusion.

"What're you doing here? How'd you know I was here?" he sounded defensive and it made you frown, shaking your head.

"I live in the apartment complex down the street, I stopped here after work for a nice Friday drink," you motioned to your work attire and he seemed to relax. Part of you was offended that he thought you were some kind of stalker but you supposed in his line of work, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

He was drinking a beer slowly, seemingly lost in his own little world as he turned away from you. You got the hint, and went to walk away from him but you stopped when he called your name.

"Um...why don't you sit with me?" he asked, motioning to the empty stool beside him.

You were relieved he asked you to join him because that's all you wanted. You took the seat and he ordered you a drink, for which you thanked him. Being in his presence again felt nice and you already began to relax.

It seemed Seokjin had been drinking there for a while. His face was a little red and he was openly giggly and friendly -- a complete difference than what he was when you first sat him sitting there.

Time flew by with him but eventually you realized it had gotten dark outside and you'd stayed far longer than you had intended.

"I really need to be going," you sighed, the words painful as they slipped out of your mouth. You didn't want to leave him, you'd thought about him so long.

"Wait!" he cried, grabbing a hold of your blouse sleeve, effectively halting you.

"What is it?" you asked, alarmed by the saddened look on his face.

"I...Can't you stay?" he asked, voice soft.

"I...I really need to get home...I've got some reports to go over for work..." you explained, wincing when you watched him visibly deflate, "You...you can come over, if you want?"

"Really?" he looked hopeful again as he hopped off the stool.

He wobbled a bit and you laughed, reaching out to steady him even though you were a little tipsy yourself.

The two of you walked outside, the cool night air hitting your heated skin and making you shiver.

"I really...I'm not supposed to go home with clients..." he mumbled, as if talking to himself, "But I guess you're not technically a client anymore, right?"

You chuckled, cheeks burning when he pulled you close against him, "I guess I'm not."

"Yeah, so it's fine!" he chuckled.

Once the two of you stepped into your apartment, things seemed to shift. He took a seat on the couch and relaxed.

It gave you a moment to take him in; he wore jeans and a t-shirt, looking even better in casual clothes than he did in formal wear.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" you asked suddenly, unable to hold back your smile when he visibly perked up, "I'll make you some."

You disappeared into the kitchen, letting out a deep breath as you realized your heart was racing. Seokjin seemed to have the effect. He didn't even do anything and he had you flustered.

You heated up some milk in the microwave, not wanting to bother with stove top. Pouring the powder into the cup you stood and waited for the milk to be done.

Before it could finish, you felt a presence behind you that had you jumping out of your skin. Turning around, you were face to face with Seokjin's incredible visage. His brown eyes were wide, almost curious and a smile lingered on his pretty lips.

You subconsciously licked your own lips and you swear your saw his own eyes drop to your lips. The energy was tense between the two of you and his perfume was permeating off of him once again. Seokjin opened his mouth to say something but before he could the microwave beeped.

The spell was broken and he backed off, wandering back into the kitchen as you began to mix the powder and milk in the cup.

You took a seat beside him, handing him the cup before turning the TV on. The two of you relaxed, you pulled your throw blanket over you shoulders as Seokjin sipped on his hot chocolate.

As you watched him, you couldn't help but find him cute.

"Hey Seokjin?" you asked, earning a hum from him, "How come you work at Club Ardor?"

"Why do you ask that?" he questioned, frowning as he sat up straighter.

You followed suit, shrugging your shoulders, "I mean surely being a date-for-hire wasn't the job you dreamed of," your words brought a smile to his face and he let out a soft chuckle, "Plus, you're crazy good looking, funny, and charming...I'd expect someone like you to be a model or something."

"Well...thanks..." he smiled, cheeks a little red, "To tell you the truth...I've dated quite a bit but..." he seemed to deflate as he spoke, "It never worked out, they all just wanted me for my money and looks."

"How shallow..." you sighed, shaking your head in dismay.

"Eventually, I just decided to stop trying but...if I'm honest I get so lonely," his confession made you frown, "But I just...don't want to be open to anyone so...this job makes me feel loved, even if it's fake."

"You won't even try to find a girlfriend again or something?" you asked, pained at the idea of him just giving up.

He shook his head, "No one ever wants me for me. Do you think I haven't tried my hardest? It never works, I'm sick of feeling left like I'm worth less than I am."

"Seokjin..." you muttered, reaching over to place your hand over his that was curled up in a fist on his knee, "You...deserve to have someone genuinely love you. It seems impossible but...it can't be like this forever. Someone will come along that will see you for you but you can't just...shut down. You should keep trying," you squeezed his hand, feeling it relax from the fist, "Maybe you've been dating the wrong women!"

"You're right," he mumbled, surprising you, "I think someone more like you is my type."

It took a second for those words to sink in,"Wha--" you shook your head, letting out a soft laugh, "Don't tease me like that!"

"No, I really mean it, _____," he whispered, meeting your gaze. It held such conviction and sincerity that you felt your heart speed up, "I think you're beautiful and you're so sincere. When we had our date," he paused after saying the word before sighing, "I had never wanted to kiss or touch someone more than I wanted to with you. You are absolutely captivating and you don't even know it."

He shifted on the couch, turning to face his body towards you. Your proximity was closer than you expected once he faced you, if you leaned in just a bit more your noses would touch.

The tension between you rose, something hot building that neither of you could deny.

Then, his lips were on yours -- soft and warm with the taste of hot chocolate lingering on them. It wasn't even a thought to hesitate, you were immediately returning the kiss.

It became more heated as the seconds ticked by. You found yourself pinned to the couch with him above you, never breaking the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair. Whimpering, you felt a shiver go down your spine when he softly nipped at your bottom lip.

When you pulled away, there was a minuscule thread of saliva connecting your lips. Once you met his heated gaze, you both knew what the other wanted.

The walk to the bedroom was a blur of shared kisses and wandering hands pushing clothes off. By the time you were pinned to the bed, you were both naked.

Seokjin's pretty, plump lips found purchase on your neck, making you shiver as his breath fanned over the sensitive skin. Kisses trailed down to your chest, over your collarbones and sternum before reaching the gentle swell of your breasts.

Your chest rose as you inhaled sharply at the feeling of his warm lips enveloping a perked nipple. His fingers caressed your skin so delicately you could almost miss it completely

His digits dipped between your thighs to find your folds already wet. He groaned, lightly grazing his teeth against your nipple before looking up at you through his lashes.

“All this because of some kissing?” he teased, making your cheeks burn.

He huffed a laugh and moved to take your other nipple into his mouth. At that same moment, his fingers parted your folds and found your clit. You gasped, spreading your legs further for his access.

His digits were skilled and graceful, circling your clit to make you whimper before dipping into your entrance. His fingers were long and found your sweet spot quickly, chuckling when your hips twitched upwards at the stimulation.

He sat up, pulling away from you as he sat back on his heels. His fingers were still inside you and he eagerly watched the way your entrance stretched to accommodate his two — three fingers.

Your eyes fluttered, rolling back in your head as he fucked you with his fingers. As a result, you missed him wrapping his left hand around his own cock, biting his lip as he finally got the stimulant he needed.

Precum dripped down his shaft and he eagerly used it to lubricate his movements. He scissored his fingers inside you, making sure you were stretched enough to take him.

When he pulled out, you whined at how empty you felt.

“Have you got a condom?” he breathed, tightening his fist around his cock when you reached into your bedside drawer and pulled one out.

You settled back, spreading your legs once again. He groaned, shuffling forward to cover your body with his. Your eyes met as the tip of this cock kissed your entrance.

Both your mouths fell open as he sunk into you. Your tight walls squeezed him so wonderfully that he groaned. He stretched you open even more than his fingers had, giving you that wonderful burn you needed.

He met your lips in a sweet kiss as he angled his hips toward your sweet spot. You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to ground you as the pleasure ran rampant. He hissed, cock twitching at the sting of your nails on his back.

His pelvic bone ground against your clit every time he sunk in, edging you closer and closer to release. Seokjin could feel the way you fluttered around him and he groaned.

Sliding a hand between your bodies, he circled the bud until you arched with a cry of pleasure.

He eased you through the high, grinning when you trembled through the overstimulation. Finally, he slowed to a stop and pulled out. You whimpered, feeling your hole clench around nothing.

“Roll over,” he breathed, cupping your hip to urge you onto your front.

With your face buried in the pillow and your ass in the air, you looked like a delectable treat for him. Standing on his knees, he sunk his cock back into your cunt.

You both groaned. The angle had him hitting your spot with painful accuracy. You cried out, muffled in the fabric of the pillow, as he fucked you into even more overstimulation. Your recent orgasm had you much more sensitive and this position allowed him to abuse that.

An almost sadistic grin crossed over his face as he enjoyed the little cries and whimpers you released the harder he fucked his cock into you.

Reaching down, he tangled his hand in your hair. You gasped as he tugged until you were up on your knees as well. Your back was against his chest and you could feel him panting against your neck.

His lips found the junction of your neck and shoulder, nipping at the skin there. Your walls fluttered around him and he released your hair to reach around and cup your breast.

“Fuck,” you gasped as he pinched your nipple, making your eyes roll back in your head.

“What is it, baby?” he groaned, the pet name making you flutter around him again.

“M-Make me cum, please,” you begging, making him groan once more.

He didn't say anything further, simply slid his hand down your body until he found your swollen clit. The second his fingers touched the bud, you clenched tight around him in sensitivity.

He circled the bud until you were trembling and gushing around him. You cried out his name as pleasure coursed through your body from your high. Seokjin didn't stop circling your clit and fucking his cock into your spasming walls until you were near tears.

He finally let you fall back down to the bed and began to chase his own high. He spread your ass cheeks apart, getting a good view of the way your cunt tried to suck him back in on every out stroke. The sight made him groan.

It took you deliberately squeezing tightly around him tightly for him to cum. It was sudden and knocked the air out of him. He gripped your hips tightly as he spilled into the condom, his cock twitching the entire time.

Everything was still for several seconds before he pulled out.

You rolled over to lay on your side as Seokjin got up and went into the bathroom. He came out a moment later with a wet cloth that he used to clean your thighs and folds with, laughing when you playfully smacked his shoulder from the oversensitivity.

He finally crawled into the bed, the two of you wiggling until you were comfortable.

You laid with Seokjin's chest beneath your head, the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat the only thing you heard. His hand softly combed through your hair and you smiled.

"This...This is what I've been needing for so long," he whispered, "No one trying to get something out of being with me. Just a sincere...caring touch."

"This is what you deserve, Seokjin," you sitting up to look at him. His hair was messed up in an adorable way that made you smile, "You can have so much more if you just...open yourself to it again."

Seokjin's gaze turns glassy as he opened his mouth to speak, "I'm just...scared."

Your heart ached when you saw a tear trickle from his eye. Reaching up, you swiped it away, "I know but...you deserve to be loved, Seokjin."

He didn't reply, simply reaching up to pull you back down into his arms. You held him in return, running your fingertips over his skin until you felt him relax as sleep finally overcame him. Adjusting yourself more comfortably, you let yourself fall asleep in his arms.

You opened your eyes to the morning sun shining into your bedroom. You licked your lips as your mouth felt dry and moved to sit up. As you did, you remembered what happened last night.

Looking beside you, you realized he wasn't in bed and the sheets were cold. Standing up, you wrapped your fuzzy robe around you and crept out of the bedroom.

"Seokjin?" you called, frowning when you received no reply.

Your heart was pounding as you made a round around the apartment to see if he left a note of anything. When you couldn't find anything, you returned to your bedroom to pick up your phone.

You froze, realizing you never actually got his phone number. You'd only communicated through the Club Ardor app.

Clicking on the icon, you waited for it to load.

Instead of being brought to your profile, you reached a page with a simple notice on it.

"Your date has filed a report, you are now blocked from using the Club Ardor service. If further contact is attempted, Club Ardor will be forced to take legal matters."

You stared at your phone for several seconds.

Everything that happened flashed through your mind -- the way he kissed you and confessed his feelings of loneliness and hurt to you. You wondered if any of it was true. Were you a game to him?

Your view of the notice on your screen became blurry as you realized you would never know.

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dramione-tea · 3 years

Text

recommendations & little snippets of myself

by Cassiopeia Candles ( Instagram: @casseopya.candles )

note: click the title in order to be directed to the desired fan fiction.

- for the dramione shippers, I wish you luck!

Unrequited Love [ casspiane ]

“Darling, I wished you knew,”

Draco Malfoy x Original Characters (OC)

1. Love Never Dies. [ rosebuds_ ]

Rachel Farrell, pure blood witch, family of Gryffindors. First year is not the best for Rachel. She struggles trying to fit in and be accepted by those around her. Falling for Draco Malfoy, Rachel has to overcome a wave of obstacles. She finds it difficult to be accepted by her family and turns to the Malfoys... Which was undoubtedly one of the biggest mistakes she made. Find out what happens to Rachel and what truly changes her life.

- Literally binge read the whole book during my 6th grade examination. ( I know it was bad for me ) But hey I didn’t fail.

P.S. Don’t be like me.

2. midnight of the masquerade [ seraphilims ]

a story in which two people realize masks only hide the appearance - not the heart.

- Love the story plot. I’ve read this thrice in different years.

3. Imperio [ pansyparks ]

The younger sister of Cedric Diggory, Arden, is a Slytherin who doesn't fit in. Draco Malfoy, a wealthy Slytherin bully. The two come together, and Arden realises that being a Slytherin isn't so bad after all; but with a few bumps in the road for Draco, can they stay together?

4. Dear Draco [ malfoyuh ]

❛stay a little longer❜

- 15 year old me were in tears, so was my heart. Rate it as 5/5.

5. Let’s Kill Tonight [ Bambey ]

Rebecca Rosewood's life is dramatically changed when she becomes a Death Eater. With blood on her hands, she is summoned by Voldemort to go to Hogwarts and extract information from the famous Harry Potter, finding herself hopelessly attracted to Draco Malfoy at the same time. But it all gets a little too much when her past finally catches up with her...

- One of the first fan-fictions I’ve read about Draco.

6. if looks could kill [ WhenInDoubtSleep ]

In times like this, the truth can rewrite the past and alter the future. In an attempt to find herself amidst the deceptive lies and horrible truths, she finds Draco Malfoy instead. She honestly just wants to make it out of the year alive...and maybe with a few less kisses from the blond git. Love story set during the sixth year at Hogwarts.

7. Always Had A Thing For Bad Boys [ oxNeverShoutNeverxo ]

8. Who Are You? [ TheBlondeAdventurer ]

Draco Malfoy. One of the most arrogant teenage boys in Slytherin's house. He struts through the school and doesn't miss an opportunity to cut someone down, just as he has been by his father his entire life. Now enter Elena Crowe. A quiet girl who tries her hardest to stay out of trouble, and one of Ravenclaw's best students. She always has the best answers and never fails to help someone in need, even if they may not deserve it. In their sixth year at Hogwarts, Draco finally runs into Elena, whom he has never seemed to notice before. Elena does her absolute best to stay away from him, because all he can be is trouble, but Draco finds amusement by forcing himself into her life. For what reason, he doesn't know; but what he does know is that he enjoys bantering with this quiet girl, because even she can get riled up and fight back. But Draco will see that Elena is a lot more than what she may seem. Soon he will be battling morales, his past, his family, and both of them may end up facing off in the final battle not with Lord Voldemort, but each other.

- To be completely honest, read this one more than 3 times.

9. Unwanted Legacy [ writtenbyciara ]

" admit it, you care about me. "

- Recently read this months ago and found it quite interesting. The author’s writing style is different from the rest as her words make you visualize more on what is happening.

- Book 1 & 2 is complete, while book 3 is still on its way.

Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger (Dramione)

1. We Learned The Sea [ floorcoaster ]

Draco Malfoy turns himself in after a very successful career as a Death Eater, then enlists Harry and Hermione to help him in a scheme to bring down the Dark Lord.

- This gave me the feels. Draco’s personality in this is far most different from the books and other fan fictions.

2. The Bachelor [ Fluff ]

Hermione's mother is pressuring her into finding a boyfriend. On a whim, she applies and is accepted into the wizard version of The Bachelor. But what happens when The Bachelor is none other than Draco Malfoy himself?

3. Defending The Dark [ Cece Louise ]

Almost three years after Voldemort's defeat, Hermione Granger is a Ministry-appointed Defense Inquisitor. Her next assignment: defend Draco Malfoy. She's sure there must be some mistake. Confronted with mysterious memories, candid conversations, and confusing feelings, she is plagued with uncertainty. Just who is Draco Malfoy? And does he deserve a second chance?

4. Graveyard Valentine [ Bex-chan ]

Hermione thought she was the only person in the world who would spend Valentine's Day in a Graveyard, but she was wrong. He's there. Every single year, with his gloves, roses, and answers. Dramione Valentine's Day one-shot. Post-Hogwarts.

- All time favorite.

5. Eighteen Months [ Istalindar ]

When Hermione is diagnosed with a magic allergy and kidney failure during the summer, everything changes for her, friends, enemies..life.

6. Love Me Twice [ Bex-chan ]

'"They tore her apart and then wiped me out of her mind to send me a message. To mess up my life. To break..." he trailed off. Blaise nodded his head with understanding. "To break your heart," he finished for him.' Dramione. One-shot.

7. The Wrong Strain [ Colubrina ]

Everyone knew what veela were. Veela were magical creatures, breathtakingly beautiful, who captivated men with a single look. It would have been nice to have been that strain. Instead, Hermione Granger was infected by another. Instead of captivating all men, she was captivated by one. She'd die without him. She was already in almost constant pain.

8. Entwined In Time [ TheSummerNightingale ]

When Hermione and Draco get put into detention together, a potion mishaps throws them back in time: into the Marauders' era. As they begin to adjust to life twenty years into the past, the two become drawn together, sharing the bond of the future as they are forced to work together to return to their own time.

9. Destiny [ Annie Lockwood ]

Hermione's wedding night is everything but perfect for the young witch. Her new husband and long-time friend, Ronald, is passed out drunk and she thinks upon her life leading up to that night. Hermione falls asleep, despondent and alone. When she wakes up the following morning, she is still in bed with her husband. But it isn't Ronald Weasley.

10. Silencio [ AkashatheKitty ]

One late night, hate turns to lust.

11. Clean [ Olivie Blake ]

Malfoy's handsome face was contoured into a condescending smirk. "No faith in that giant brain of yours, Granger?" She looked up at him defiantly. "Maybe I don't have faith in you!" she said, raising her voice. Malfoy only looked at her. "You'll find I'm very surprising."

12. Marked [ Olivie Blake ]

Two dead. Three missing. The Order is down a leader and another innocent takes the Mark. Where is the Chosen One, and who killed Draco Malfoy?

13. The Fallout [ everythursday ]

Hermione learns about growing up through the redemption of Draco Malfoy.

14. Every Day, a Little Death [ LovesBitca8 ]

It has become common knowledge that Hermione Granger cannot have an orgasm. Many have tried, none have succeeded. Can Draco Malfoy offer his assistance?

15. familiar faces, worn out places [ LovesBitca8 ]

“You are at St. Mungo’s. You were in a coma.” He looks me over again, taking a pause. “I am a Healer here now,” he says, like it explains something. My fingers stretch, drifting across his sleeve. He looks down, like I’ve thrown mud at him.

Forcing my vocal chords together for the first time, I whisper, “What’s your name?”

16. Kiss Me, Haunt Me, Kill Me [ LovesBitca8 ]

"So," she said, and her voice was just as he'd remembered it, "you've chosen to haunt the castle as well?" She lifted her brows. "I'm dead. What's your excuse?" ~*~ Draco Malfoy returns to Hogwarts as Potions Master to find the ghost of Hermione Granger floating through the halls.

17. Ribbons Down Her Back [ LovesBitca8 ]

The unintentional annual seduction of Draco Malfoy through a series of ribbons and bows - or - Christmas Fluff with a dash of Secret Santa.

18. Manacled [ SenLinYu ]

Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione Granger has an Order secret, lost but hidden in her mind, so she is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve until her mind can be cracked.

19. The Library of Alexandria [ SenLinYu ]

The Library of Alexandria is not for just any witch or wizard. Many bookworms may try but few are permitted to pass through its doors. The books residing there are ancient and powerful and, if one happens to make a mistake, the consequences can be rather—novel.

20. A Slow Cruel Descent + A Fragile Ascent [ SenLinYu ]

A Slow Cruel Descent

The war grinds on and Hermione Granger, the lead intelligence for the Order of the Pheonix, is captured. Unable to crack her through interrogation without risking her mind, Voldemort conceives a cruel method of breaking her that involves a reluctant Draco Malfoy.“He stared at her in disgust.She looked—broken.The fire she’d still had when she was dragged in was now extinguished. Her eyes were locked on his face like she were memorizing him.“Stop staring at me.” He snarled. “You stupid bint. You’re supposed to be so clever. They can’t break you with torture but a fucking potion reduces you to a sniveling traitor.”

A Fragile Ascent

The War is over. Voldemort is dead. And Hermione Granger is broken.

21. Sweetly Broken [ LadyKenz347 ]

As the dust settles following the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco’s confidence, belief system, and world are shattered.In an attempt to mend his broken pieces, he turns to vials that take the pain away. But once the high’s are no longer so high and the lows get so much lower, Draco has to start a journey of healing and redemption that often hurts more than it helps.

22. Truth, Lies, and Storytelling [ BreathOfThePhoenix ]

“Hermione,” Harry took a deep breath and flipped the book over to see the back cover, “why is my name on this?”“Like I said, someone is writing about us. The film we just saw was based on that book,” Hermione tapped the cover of the book on the top of the stack, “and it was incredibly accurate.”Harry passed the stack of books over to Ginny, holding on to the first one. He turned the title of the book over in his head, mumbling the words quietly to himself.“Harry Potter… me… Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Philosopher’s stone. Hermione, this feels weird. Am I the narrator?”When Hermione and Draco uncover a familiar new film called “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” they learn that the wizarding world may not be as well hidden as they thought.

23. DIVINATION FOR SKEPTICS [ OLIVIEBLAKE ]

The latest in magical advancements is an enchantment that reveals the bearer’s romantic compatibility with another person. Effectively eliminating uncertainty from dating, the charm can tell you whether or not you’ve found The One with a precise, Hermione Granger-approved calculation of traits and preferences. It’s a foolproof method of predicting relationship happiness. It’s also, for Hermione, positively dreadful news.

24. Isolation [ Bex-chan ]

He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!"

25. Hunted [ Bex-chan ]

Forced to work together when their old schoolmates start dying, Hermione & Draco must overcome their differences to solve the mysterious deaths. The tension in the office is getting rather...heated.

If you reached to this part.

HEY THERE!

Feel free to message me on instagram if you ever feel the need to fan girl, I do too most of the time.

#dramione #draco x oc #draco malfoy #draco x hermione #harry potter #hogwarts #fanfic

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gifted-burnout-archive · 4 years

Text

Jim’s Best Friend

Part Eighteen - Survival

Word Count: 1723

Author’s Note: This is a shorter chapter, I know, but I promised chapter 19 (out by Sunday, 3am GMT) and 20 will be longer. I wanted a chance to focus in on Y/N, and yeah. This is what I came up with!

WARNING: implied smut, heartbreak, slight substance abuse?

For previous chapters click here.

August, 2007.

Travelling was a lonely business, but it was a must in times like these.

After you quit Dunder Mifflin, you spent the next three weeks travelling around Pennsylvania. You packed up your apartment into storage, you drove down to visit family in Philadelphia, you spent one too many nights in dim lit bars with sketchy men and a lack of self respect. You had just reached a point where you didn't care anymore, and it was time to move on, in any way possible.

Pam had given you a heads up, sending you a text to tell you when the office would be empty. You needed to collect the last of your things in privacy, and Beach Day had allowed you such a privilege. So on a warm August afternoon at around 4pm, you pulled into the Dunder Mifflin parking lot for the first time in weeks, stopping your car by the front door. You wouldn't take long after all, there was no chance in Hell you would be sticking around for more time than needed.

With a determination you saved for the hardest of tasks, you marched back into Dunder Mifflin, taking the stairs up to the office and entering through the front door. The place was deserted, and you spotted your box of belongings on your desk, packed up neatly with a note from Pam scrawled over the lid: "We all miss you." You hoisted it into your grasp, surpised by how light it turned out to be, and started towards the door when you heard a voice call out.

"Y/N." You turned back round and smiled as Toby made his way over from the annex, placing down your box on Pam's desk to give Toby a hug.

"Why are you here? I thought everyone was at Beach Day..." You asked, confused, and Toby gave you a shrug and look you knew all too well. Michael. "Oh, I'm sorry Toby."

"It's not a problem, they needed me to process a bunch of stuff for HR anyway... Corporate is hiring, and a few of the staff have been asked to interview for the position." Toby explained, and you raised an eyebrow.

"Who?" You asked, Toby looking a little uneasy.

"I really shouldn't share... It's against policy." He began, and you batted your eyelids.

"Please? It's not like I'm going to tell anyone." You pleaded. This was the most exciting thing that had happened to you in close to a month of unemployment, and while you should have focused on what that meant for your social life in general, you pushed the thought aside.

"Michael, Jim, Karen and someone who has already interviewed, don't have a name." Toby disclosed, and you stopped when he mentioned Jim's name. As much as you loved Michael, Jim was undoubtedly the best pick for a job in corporate, he always had been. He had charisma and ease and social skills that Michael greatly lacked.

Jim was going to be off in New York by the month's end.

You would never see him again.

"Any chance I could leave Pam a note? I'll be quick." You asked, and Toby nodded, saying a soft goodbye and heading back through to his desk. Once he was out of sight, you rushed around Pam's desk, pulling out a piece of paper and an envelope, taking a second to think before writing.

It was a coward's way out, sure, but this was your moment. To confess to Jim without any awkwardness, no need for a follow through. Just an admission of feelings, and an apology for them, and a goodbye. Knowing how messy Jim could be, he probably wouldn't find it for a year or so, and by then you'd be in some foreign country, with some new job, and Dunder Mifflin would be a distant memory.

It took you no more than ten minutes to write the note, seal it, pop Jim's name on the front and leave it on Pam's desk, and head back down to your car, speeding off for the freeway. And you do so with dry eyes, much to your own surprise. Maybe it was because you knew this was for the best, or perhaps you had cried all your tears away in the last few weeks of travelling and packing.

And so, you just kept driving. You got onto the I-80W and just kept on the road as long as you could. You drove in silence, you last traces of a life half lived in the backseat, a suitcase containing clothes and essentials, your purse on the passenger seat. And while a part of you was happy about leaving, about finally taking the chance to escape Scranton for good, you couldn't enjoy it. It was impossible with the pit in your stomach, the undeniable feeling of complete emptiness in your gut. Had you been thinking rationally, you would have realised that it was a bad idea, that you should have turned back and talked to Jim again, explaining yourself in person. You should have begged for a job from Michael, or at least resigned in person. You should have talked to Pam more about your thought process, should have apologised to Dwight for all the teasing.

You couldn't bring yourself to drown out your thoughts with the radio, or a cassette. Too many songs reminded you of Jim... You were scared something would come on the radio to change your mind about leaving. So you lost yourself in thoughts of Jim.

His smile, his laugh, the way he'd hold you tight when you cried, the look in his eyes when he accomplished something big. The way he rubbed circles onto your arm, or the late nights eating pizza and reminiscing about your first few months together. Late night talks that turned into breakfast chatter. How you'd watch him during movie marathons, gauging his reactions to movies you were introducing him to. The secrets you had shared, the promises you had made, the trips around Pennsylvania you took with Jim and Pam. How you'd both cancel plans for time together, the way best friends would.

By hour five, the night sky now black and the traffic on the roads thinning out, you pulled over for gas, in need of a toilet break and something to keep your energy up. You were in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio, and you hoped you could get to a cheap motel in Columbus, maybe Cincinnati. The first place that looked as miserable as you felt. In the despair you could plan your next steps: whether it was to Mexico, to Europe, to Australia, you didn't care. You had the funds to move away for good, enough to keep you stable for a few months until you sorted everything out.

After filling up on gas and trying not to gag at the stench of the gas station lavatory, you grabbed a few snacks and got back in your car, following the road signs towards Columbus, Ohio. The signs looked so unfamiliar, the names and roads alien to eyes that had been trained to navigate the area around Scranton for their entire life. Twenty-six years old life and you had spent almost all of it within the 119,283 squared kilometres that made up the Keystone State. In fact, as you switched from the I-80 W to the I-71 S, Cincinnati bound, you couldn't remember the last time you drove out of your home state. Sure, you had spent ten months in Spain, but you were still just a representative of Dunder Mifflin. Even you holiday the year before had been so linked to home, it didn't feel like you really left.

This was the first time in your life you were going it alone, truly alone, and it was scary.

A few minutes after one in the morning, and after hours of driving, you found a delapedated Motel 6 with a bar right across the road. It was exactly what you had envisioned to fuel your hollow sorrow: from the flickering lights to the grouchy night receptionist who kept his gaze on your chest as you checked in. Only once your suitcase and purse were with you in your rented room, with wallpaper peeling at the edges and a unknown pair of sneakers in the closet, did you search through your handbag for your phone, the face flashing with plenty of missed calls.

8 Missed Calls:

Pam (3), Dwight (2), Oscar (1), Michael (1), Jim (1).

Moreover, you had a barage of texts, from Pam updating you on the beach day antics, to Michael and Dwight asking where you were, the latter explicitly stating that you GPS tracker had left the state and set off an alarm. Oscar had left a voicemail, wishing you well and asking you to call him back sometime soon, and Jim... Jim's voicemail was only a few seconds long. You decided to face it, and took a deep breath as you listened to it play.

"Uh... Y/N, hey..." Jim's voice sounded like home, the way he said your name still making your heart flutter. "Shit... No, I can't." He sighed, and the voicemail went silent. It broke your heart to hear it, and you shook his voice out of your head, making the split second decision to delete his contact from your phone. And while you knew his number off by heart, maybe it would help you forget, help you move on.

The other thing that would help? Alcohol.

And with the car parked and locked, and the bar only a few steps away, you decided to light a cigarette and make your way over the road with the intent of finding someone to bring home. It wasn't decent, it wasn't right, but temporary pleasure was all you could manage to create in the battle against your own heart.

So, that warm night, now 700 miles from where you called home, you sat yourself down at the bar and ordered yourself a double vodka and cola, with the order to keep them coming. As regulars filed out, party goers came in, and you scoped out the bachelor parties and men on nights out. With little interest in the men who began buying you drinks, your eyes landed on a woman at the other end of the bar, who sent you a wink and beckoned you over.

You would regret it in the morning, but it was nice to not think about Jim Halpert all the time.

Tags: @imsuperawkward @rosie2801 @poppirocks @onceuponahuntersrealm @aziggya @thesuitelifeofafangirl

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pyrrhiccomedy · 4 years

Text

DM Talk: Pacing

So I made a comment recently about putting Big Decision moments for the party at the end of your sessions. There are three major advantages to this: the players get to end the session on a high note, making a climactic choice that could change the course of the entire story; it keeps anticipation high for the next session, because the players are in a cliffhanger while they wait to find out how the world will respond to their decision; and, critically, you as the DM don’t need to plan the in-depth outcomes for every choice they could possibly make. You just set up the choice, they make it, and then you get all week to plan just for the choice they actually made.

A lot of people replied that while they planned for their players to hit the Big Decision at the end of the session, their players ended up taking an unexpected shortcut, and getting to that moment hours ahead of time. So I want to talk a little bit about pacing your sessions.

But first I want to talk about Chris Harrison, the host of The Bachelor.

I watched an interview with Harrison recently, in which he talked about his career. The interviewer asked him what his biggest challenge is, as the guy who hosts all the high-drama reality show love-stuff. Is it the hungry, horny, drunk twenty-somethings having meltdowns in front of him?

No, no, he said. That was fine. It was pacing interviews with so many people who aren’t professional entertainers.

Professional entertainers, he said, are, for the most part, very easy to interview. They, like you, know that there are key subjects they need to cover for the interview to be a success. They, like you, want the interview to end on a high note: a big reveal, a funny story, something to make it memorable. And they, like you, want to finish on time: so they’ll keep a clock running in their heads, and leave enough time at the end for their big story, or they’ll whip out an anecdote if they realize you’re ahead of your mark.

Contestants on The Bachelor (et all) are not professional entertainers. They’re just people, who often act like they and the interviewer are here to have an organic conversation. They ramble. They jump ahead. They get off-topic. They want to talk about the most exciting thing they have to say FIRST, because they’re excited about it. They have no idea how much time you have left. They’re just excited to be on camera.

Spare a moment for poor Chris Harrison, who has exactly 43 minutes, with 4 commercial breaks that need to happen at specific intervals during what feel like natural lulls in the conversation, and 76 talking points to hit for every finale episode of the Bachelor, packed in a room with these absolute goobers he somehow has to herd across the finish line. No one really notices - he said - how hard it is to get a bunch of normal people to have a conversation that sticks to an agenda, hits the relevant beats, ends on a high note, and finishes exactly on time. Because it’s his job to make sure you don’t notice. But it’s the hardest thing he has to do.

Huh, I thought. This sounds a lot like being a DM.

There are a lot of things that go into DMing well. Creativity! Flexibility! Storytelling! Improvisation! Planning and project management! Creating props, finding a soundtrack, running a zillion NPCs, voice acting, giving the impression of cool omniscience while you secretly are frantically trying to remember something you told them 4 sessions ago! And all of that stuff gets talked about a lot. I don’t think I’ve seen much discussion around the importance of getting your players to just fucking hit their marks at the right time during a given evening.

Here are some tips.

1. Watch the clock. I mark the time at least every 15-20 minutes, and do a mental inventory of how much content we still need to cover before I can bring the session to a satisfactory end.

2. Incorporate elasticity into your scenes. That means build them out with organic ways they could be made longer OR shorter, depending on how you’re tracking. Combat scenes can be made longer by (for example) introducing reinforcements, or shorter by having the enemies retreat. Dinner party espionage scenes can be stretched out by having NPCs strike up conversations with the players (or by just letting the players ramble, if they’ve really gotten going), and can be cut short with the ring of the dinner bell, or the sudden arrival of the guest of honor.

3. Build in interrupts, and use them. Jesus, my players can talk. It’s great! But guys. I’ve got ground to cover. Pretty much any situation they walk into, I have a way of kicking them out of it. The library is closing, you have to leave. Dryagin has another appointment, you have to leave. Can I have an Alertness check? Oh no, someone is following you, time to leave! Your phone rings, ring ring, it’s the plot! It says it’s 10:30 PM and your DM needs to get you through 3 more scenes before the end of the session.

4. Build in stalling techniques sideplots, and use those too. Every session, I have a long list of stuff that could happen this session, or it could happen next session, or the session after that. These all come as little calls-to-action for the players; and while they don’t necessarily need to respond to them immediately, they usually do, because players are like magpies and if you wave something shiny in front of them they’ll usually drop whatever they’re doing to follow it. I usually plan on hitting 2-3 of these in an evening, but that number can be increased, or these scenes can be cut out entirely, depending on how we’re doing for time.

5. Really develop your NPCs as interesting people. The easiest way to kill time during a session is to get a conversation going, and your NPCs are your toolkit for starting conversations. Give them strong points of view, big motivations, and engaging personalities. Your players will go to them for a plot thing, and then happily just talk. If you need to wrap things up, your NPC can easily have something else they need to do; but if you’re trying to kill some time, it’s great to have the option of just letting your players hang out with Feoda for 20 minutes.

6. Remind your players to talk to each other. You can be really transparent about this. “How did X make Misha feel? ...Is that something he’d want to discuss with anybody?” is usually all it takes. A lot of times, players don’t want to have those conversations because they’re afraid of holding things up. When you, the DM, tell them that it’s a good moment to have a heart to heart, that tells them that they’re not going to inconvenience you by engaging in some character development.

7. If you’re short on time this session, tell your players up front. Sometimes you don’t have time for the players to engage in a lot of conversation. Instead of rushing them through a scene that might be important to them, just say to your players as you sit down, “Hey guys, we have a lot of material I want to get through tonight, so critical conversations only. There will be time to discuss things in-depth next session.” One of your players raises their hand. “Um,” they say. “Can I talk to so-and-so?” “What about,” you reply. They smile hopefully. “I wanted to ask them on a date.” “I love that,” you tell them. “Next session would be better. Your character is going to have a lot going on this session, and I want to make sure you and so-and-so have all the time you need for that conversation.” “Oh,” they say. “Okay.”

8. If all else fails, have someone try to kill them. If they really, really want to get to something that you’re not ready for them to get to, just have some goons open fire on them in the street. You’ll have all week to figure out why, and it will never occur to your players that that wasn’t planned.

Good luck.

#dice matters

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platinummice · 4 years

Text

Fallout OC seven day S.P.E.C.I.A.L

I’m putting these all on one post for easy viewing :)

Day 1 - Strength

Archer’s Score: 4

Archer isn’t a very strong guy. He travels light, carrying as few things as physically possible to avoid slowing himself down. It wasn’t something he really had to worry about when he was in the Brotherhood, his power armor did all the heavy lifting. With that being said, he is strong enough to lift and carry a fallen comrade away from danger. He has been trained in hand to hand combat, but if it can be avoided Archer will stay very far away from the actual combat. That's not to say he isn’t good at it, he’s very knowledgeable about pressure points, pinning people, and making sure people are otherwise unable to fight. Archer also doesn’t like big guns. He doesn't like carrying them, reloading them, or getting into fights and having to use them. He carries his longbow (which only has a draw weight of 30 pounds), a whole lot of arrows, a knife, and a Colt .45 Outlaw.

Day 2 - Perception

Archer’s Score: 8

Archer knows his eyesight is very good, which is a big reason he stays back during fights. He can snipe from far distances, and at the same time keep an eye out for any other potential threats. He is also very quick to notice anything out of the ordinary. Tripwires and mines have to be very well hidden to escape his notice. The big problem he has with his perception is noticing when he’s hallucinating. Picking out the visions from the real world around him is damn near impossible. In non hostile situations he can usually tell if he is having a schizophrenic episode, but when enemies are bearing down on him the increased heart rate, and sweaty/shaky hands are hard to distinguish from a normal reaction. The lack of safe spaces doesn’t help. Moving from that Archer’s aim is very good. Arrows are almost impossible to come by, so he has to make his own and that can take a while. So he got good at not wasting them.

Day 3 - Endurance

Archer’s Score: 6

Archer doesn't have the worst endurance, but it's not the best either. When it comes to traveling he usually prefers to take it slow, but he can manage a light jog for a little bit. He doesn’t manage well in hurried situations, and having to run for any extended period of time can be detrimental. However, Archer loves to swim even when most, if not all, the water around him is severely irradiated, he’ll pop some rad-x and go have a splash. He is also pretty good at climbing, if only so he can get high enough to scope out his surroundings. I would say under normal circumstances he is good at adapting to his surroundings. He tries his hardest to stay calm, because he knows “Calm people live and panicked people die.”

Day 4 - Charisma

Archer’s Score: 10

Archer's charisma is where he excels most. He might not actually be strong, but damn if he can't convince someone he fist fought a deathclaw and won. He won’t like it, but if he needs information or an item from someone, he can become “friends” in minutes. Picking up on social clues and catching even the smallest eye twitches, Archer reads people like they are children's books. It wakes it a bit harder when people wear masks, but he can usually pick at how they talk about things and get on their good side that way. Confirmed Bachelor all the way with this one, Archer can flirt a man's pants off. He’s a bit, uh, less good at flirting with ladies, but chances are high he’d still manage pretty well.

Day 5 - Intelligence

Archer’s Score: 3

My low INT child. He doesn’t know what's going on. He is trying his best though. He can count to 500 before he gets confused, a little bit of addition and subtraction is fine. Very Very basic multiplication. Can’t divide to save his life. Most of his brain power goes into animals, how to care for them and how to train them. He’s learned a lot of first aid and medical skills from helping wounded animals, but if you have other options you might want to consider those before going to him.

Day 6 - Agility

Archer’s Score: 1

Someone help this poor man. Any sudden change has the ability to make his head spin, and he’ll be stuck to the spot he was standing in, trying to take in what happened. As was said on day 3, Archer has a really hard time keeping his head when he’s constantly on the move. All the running and quick movements don’t give him enough time to process, leaving him confused and panicked. This can also trigger a schizophrenic episode, which will make things a lot worse. If he doesn’t have someone to pull him through a situation like this, he will most likely end up severely injured. Whether it be from enemies, or himself.

Day 7 - Luck

Archer’s Score: 8

Archer’s pretty lucky, believe it or not! He says he’s lucky about finding materials and what have you, but the truth is his dogs are trained to sniff stuff like that out. His luck comes into play more when it comes to being wounded on incapacitated and still somehow surviving? Man fist fought a deathclaw, lost, and is still around to tell the tale. He does happen to find a lot of bottle caps and cool masks to wear.

#I also forgot to post them for a few days #I dont know what I expected from myself #archer #fallout oc seven day special

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wichols · 4 years

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Angst/Fluff Writing Prompt Fun Wrap Up!

Now that I have finally finished all the submitted prompts I thought it would be fun to do a cute little wrap up in case you might have missed any of the stories along the way, along with some background/thoughts/feels about each one! Duration May 13th - July 15th (that was longer than I expected but cool!) 1. Rain and Confessions (Kyoya X Haruhi WC: 1,662) Prompt: “And yet, you’re still not enough.” Summary: After her graduation from law school, Haruhi and Kyoya pack up her apartment in preparation of Haruhi moving back to Japan. Kyoya has been waiting years for this moment and he is going to let Haruhi know exactly how he feels about Haruhi and isn't going to let a little rain ruin his plans for them. AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: This prompt is a canon insecurity for Kyoya and so it was easy for me to write- considering I posted the prompt list on the 13th and uploaded it on the 14th. But also it was so hard to write because they are my OTP!! It pained me to make them suffer like this. To make Kyoya vulnerable is tough. To bring down his walls in front of someone is a struggle. Upon reading back through it I dare say there is a peep of inspiration from Pride and Prejudice (can you spot the hidden Mr. Darcy-like quote?). Favorite Line: “You say that you will do all these things out of your love for me but it is because of my love for you that I cannot accept your offer because you become less of who you are and more of the person you think I need.” 2. Public Masks for Private Matters (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 1,269) Prompt: “Being alone would be better than being married to you.”

Summary: Haruhi has finally reached her breaking point. After winning her career-defining case her world comes crashing down. Blame has been assigned and trust has been broken between Haruhi and Takashi.

AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: The TakaHaru ship is by far one of the hardest ships to use with angsty writing because of the nature of Takashi. The hurt he could inflict on Haruhi isn’t something so obvious like physical/mental/emotional abuse. I think in my mind that it is his lack of response is the most believable response to causing conflict between them- his inability/insecurity to say the right thing at the right time. At least that is what it would come off to others. Takashi is an introvert/observer. If he was experiencing emotional distress he would probably cave in and bottle things up, holding the burden alone. (Spoliers!!) The real secret behind this fic is that Takashi only ever told her the truth. Haruhi busted a major company for the terrible working conditions of their low income employees. A week after the close of the trial she was jumped by a group of people and was sent to the hospital. They had know she was pregnant for a short while and wanted to keep it a secret because of the high profile nature of the case- not even telling friends or family. They lost the baby and it broke them. To this day they still have not mentioned the loss of their child. So naturally they suffer alone, putting on masks for the public. I honestly thought about writing something more with this background information but it just seemed a little difficult to set up the scene. Favorite Line: “The love I held for you is what blinded me.“ 3. Cameras and Questions (Kyoya x Haruhi WC: 1,181) Prompt: An almost kiss Summary: Yet again Kyoya convinces Haruhi to be his date to another gala event. Haruhi asks a question that gets answered in the most unusual way. Is there more going on between a young no-name lawyer and one of Japan's Top 5 Eligible Bachelors than the public is aware? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net

Thoughts: This was so fun to write! I love writing snarky Haruhi. I also love writing the back and forth between them. I mean they are my OTP I love the chase. XD I feel like they both can be very up front with each other but that they enjoy the subtleties of their conversations. I love the challenge between them, and how they push and test each other. I think in the beginning I didn’t quite know how to put them in a situation where there was an almost kiss, mostly because I still couldn’t get myself to fully commit to a fluffy piece of writing. But I think with what I did I could classify it as fluff defined by my standards (nobody died and everyone is happy). Favorite Line: “I don’t know any Ootori man to half-ass anything.” 4. Disgust and Devotion (Hikaru x Haruhi WC:1,083) Prompt: “Please don’t cry.” & “It’s three in the morning. What could you possibly want?” Summary: They said that it wouldn't work between them. Are their worlds so far apart that it is impossible? Hikaru is caught up in another scandal and Haruhi has reached her limit. Does she love him enough to stay or is she just too weak to leave? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: I think at this point in the prompts I still couldn’t get myself to write fluff and this ask was a fluff/angst mix with the two prompts provided. I do enjoy writing the HikaHaru ship even if there is not much out there. Originally when I was working on brainstorming ideas the end game was for them to have angry makeup sex. But I just couldn’t twist what I had in a way that would flow naturally with the base plot. I think I like writing Hikaru slightly drunk. It curves his temper and makes him more mellow. But he is still our impulsive little boy and he still has a ways to grow up. This wasn’t the first time that something like this has come up. Though both times he was not at fault (though in the original idea he totally did cheat one drunk night but couldn’t really remember). If anything the fluff is implied at the end.... Favorite Line: “The media can make it look like anything they want to with a well-timed photo.” 5. Love Over Reason (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 2,102) Prompt: “Are you blushing?” Summary: Loving someone is complicated. Sometimes we feel as though the ones we love deserve more than we can give. Does spending six months apart change Takashi and Haruhi's feelings for the better or for worse? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: There was about 5 days between this fic and Disgust and Devotion and I still couldn’t really bring myself to write straight fluff... But this turned into quite a piece. I think I was hitting a stride of coffee shop AUs and I just couldn’t help myself. Ever love someone so much you push them away because you think it will be better than dragging them through your mess? Well same. I think the fluff in this fic is subtle. They care so deeply for one another that they don’t want to hurt each other more. And just to be kind I added more fluff at the end. I’m not sure I really like how I used the prompt for this one but what’s posted is posted. Favorite Line: “All I have ever wanted from you is you.” - This line still gets me all sorts of choked up when I read it.

6. Brutality Mixed With Intimacy (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 1,455)

Prompt: 'Please don't cry' or 'You know I have feelings for you, right?'

Summary: After months of following dead ends, the Ouran Association finally has a solid lead to obtaining useful information on the ring leader of a major underground human trafficking organization in Japan. All other hits had gone to plan for Takashi but this one hit too close to home. With Haruhi as their next target, he couldn't handle the risk of possibly losing her.

AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net

Thoughts: Cue the beginning evidence of my current obsession with Mafia AU’s... The mafia au is just the perfect setting for my dark angsty heart! I just couldn’t resist. Especially when fluff was so far down the list of things I still wanted to write. I won’t name names but a certain TakaHaru shipper threatened me that they were going to write a fix it fic so that Haruhi actually ended up with Takashi instead of Tamaki. And of course she would end up with Tamaki, he of all of them would have the least blood on his hands.

Favorite Line: “You were never going to make it to the drop off location.”

7. Fashion and Feelings (Hikaru x Haruhi WC: 2,691)

Prompt: “You know I have feelings for you right?”

Summary: After years of silently watching and pining for Haruhi from afar, Hikaru finally gets the courage to reveal his true feelings for her. With his new spring line debuting in a few short days Hikaru is going to lay his fashion reputation and love all on the line in hopes of having his feelings reciprocated.

AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net

Thoughts: Finally, FINALLY, finally I was able to pull out just the most fluffy fluff I could write! Like it took everything I had to put no angst in this one at all. This prompt sat for weeks and weeks without progress. I didn’t have a clue with what I was going to do with it. Like, it laughed at me with it’s blank doc. I wanted this final prompt to be just fluff so I left it to sit until I finally had a spark of fluff. This can be read alone or as part of the back story for Disgust and Devotion.

Favorite Line: “Most people would be creeped out by someone other than a significant other who bought them lingerie.” Final Thoughts:

Shortest- Cameras and Questions Longest- Fashion and Feelings Combined Total Word Count: 11,443 Title Themes- I really wanted to give this round of prompts a slightly longer title theme. My favorite is probably Brutality Mixed With Intimacy but a close runner up is Public Masks for Private Matters.

Favorite- Fashion and Feelings Least Favorite- Love Over Reason Thanks to everyone who submitted requests! It is always a pleasure writing for you!

#OHSHC #ouran host club #ouran hshc #ouran high school host club #haruhi fujioka #tamaki suoh #Kyoya Ootori #hikaru hitachiin #takashi morinozuka #Takashi x Haruhi #Kyoya x Haruhi #Hikaru x Haruhi

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1123

survey by zqrwrgnani

What do you typically have for breakfast? I skip breakfast Monday to Friday. On weekends either of my parents will usually make fried rice served with 3–4 of the following: eggs, hotdogs, corned beef, dried fish, ham, longganisa, and luncheon meat.

Where do you purchase most of your clothes? There’s a tiangge at the local mall where they will change up the collection of clothes being sold every couple of weeks. They have trendy choices at really low prices so that’s where I liked getting clothes back when I went out more.

Do you have any opinions on Anna Delvey? Literally have never heard of her. Should I know who this is...?

What are you currently streaming? I have an episode of (surprise!) 2D1N turned on, but it’s paused.

What do you typically order when you go for coffee? Iced caramel macchiato. I actually switched it up today and went for a basic iced mocha, though. Just wanted to try something new, I guess.

Anything you’re looking out for at the thrift? No, and I don’t usually make trips to thrift stores either.

Who are your favorite YouTubers? Louise Pentland is a recent favorite. There’s also Good Mythical Morning, Grace Helbig, and The Try Guys. I also like a ton of BuzzFeed people but I don’t think they count as YouTubers. I like a good number of local vloggers as well but they’re no one you would recognize.

Describe your skincare routine. I just splash some water onto my face first thing in the morning, every day.

What’s your typical morning routine look like? Work has conditioned me to automatically wake up at 6:30, and by then I have the choice to either go back to sleep or try to properly wake up by watching YouTube videos. Either way, I have to be up by 8 so I can start working. And like I said, I briefly wash my face, then I immediately head to my laptop. That’s it, really; it’s super uneventful and I'm sorry I can’t make it any more interesting lol.

Are you still playing Animal Crossing? I never bought the game, actually. I asked Nina if I should buy it and she said it probably won’t be suitable for me since the game requires a lot of creativity, which as y’all know by now I lack entirely hahaha. I have my eyes set on other games.

How has the pandemic specifically affected you? It kept me from having a memorable final year in university, and it kept me from having a graduation ceremony. We also had to sell one of our cars, which I really loved driving when we still had it, so that bummed me out. I believe the pandemic had also been a slight factor in the crumbling of my former relationship as well.

Where’s your favorite place to go for brunch? I never go out for brunch.

What’s on your nightstand? Right now there is a bunch of books on it and a paper envelope from work.

What do you think about before falling asleep? Anything except my already pending deliverables work for the following day.

What is your main source of anxiety? Continued from the previous evening. I don’t know if there’s a main catalyst...a lot of things have the ability to make me feel anxious.

Any bands or artists you’ve recently discovered? I’m going further down the K-pop rabbit hole as I know it, lmao. It’s starting, you guys. This week I discovered GOT7; I’ve only heard one song so far but I’m extremely hooked. Ravi’s also very talented and has catchy songs.

What are your goals for today? Have a great rest of the evening and enjoy the start of my weekend.

What kind of games do you play on your phone? I haven’t been playing a lot of games on it, actually. I mainly use it to keep track of my Viber notifications (because my laptop sometimes won’t, and I end up replying to some work threads late) and to watch on Viu. But the last game I downloaded was a logo quiz game for old times’ sake.

Are there any packages you’re waiting to come in through the mail? Nah, haven’t ordered anything recently. I think I’m over my online shopping phase hahaha. I was just really excited about it when I got my first couple of paychecks, but now that the initial thrill has passed, I mainly look forward to spending on food – exactly like how I predicted it would be for me.

Describe your favorite t-shirt? I’d neverrrrr throw out my CM Punk Best in the World shirt for the world, no matter how more tattered and stained it gets. It’s one of my prized possessions and it reminds me of a really happy and carefree time in my life.

Do you have a specific aesthetic? I don’t know if I fit into a certain one; I certainly don’t consciously try to. You’d have to ask my friends if I do have a specific kind.

Skinny jeans or mom jeans? Mom jeans, a thousand times over. I dread wearing skinny jeans.

What’s your favorite 90s cartoon? The Wild Thornberrys.

Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I felt scared more than anything else. I’ve never felt such a heavy sensation before, so I didn’t know what was going on. I also felt the need to be around them as much as I can, as I was starting to love and enjoy their presence, and be the one to attend to their needs.

Have you tried the feta and tomato recipe? No but sounds delicious.

What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I don’t drink that. Sounds nasty.

What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? Don’t wear makeup, either.

What’s your all time favorite movie? Two for the Road.

What are some female names you would name a baby? Olivia, Mia, and Amelia are some of my favorites.

What about male? Erm, probably names like Mason, Elliott, Matteo, Liam...I don’t want a son, so I don’t think about boy names too often lmao.

Do you have any subscription boxes? No. I’ve always wanted to subscribe to one with a quirky concept, like a Korean-themed one, or international snacks or condiments, or curated alcoholic drinks, etc. but at the end I feel it’s a luxury I could do without.

What did you purchase the last time you bought groceries? The last time I got groceries was for work, and for that instance I got several of the following: coffee packs, soju, various canned goods, spaghetti set, Nutella, and toiletries.

What fictional creature would you like as a pet? Wouldn’t keep him as a pet but I feel like Maximus from Tangled would be such a fun dude to be around.

Describe your favorite piece of jewelry. I don’t have one. I love borrwing my mom’s Tiffany’s jewelry, though.

Have any local businesses closed that you’re sad about? So fucking many of them, especially the ones I frequented back in college. I went back to Katip last week and the place felt like a damn ghost town.

How do you feel about the BLM movement? I support it, of course. And I feel infuriated by those who try to counter by saying aLl LiVeS mAtTeR or worse, bLuE lIvEs MaTtEr.

What’s the worst advice you’ve ever taken? I don’t think I ever took an advice I knew was bad or would be useless or irrelevant to me. But this reminds me of my mom’s favorite piece of advice for every bad situation, which is to pray lmao.

How do you feel about your neighbors? I feel like I answer this a lot on this surveys, but I don’t think anything of them. We mostly keep to our own business.

What kind of dwelling do you live in? A house.

Have you been watching this season of The Bachelor? I’ve never tried watching it and have no desire to.

What’s typically kept in your purse/wallet? Paper bills, receipts I have the tendency to stuff and keep there even though I’ll never have to use them again, my Paramore ticket, TIN ID, copies of 1x1 and 2x2 photos of myself just in case I have to whip one out, driver’s license, my debit cards, and my vape.

How do you feel about TikTok? I gravitate towards the tutorials and unique prompts (like people showing their parents of different nationalities, the then-vs-now of their pets, etc) more so than the dance-y/meme-y ones. I’ve never felt the need to get the actual app, though. I get my TikTok fix on Facebook, which makes me feel old saying so LOL

What’s the hardest thing you’ve done/been through? Dealing through a breakup was surprisingly harder and more excruciating than deaths I’ve had to go through.

Did you/do you still have a Neopets account? I never had an account but I did have a Neopets game on my flip phone.

What do you look like on a day where you don’t leave the house? Haggard.

Do you have any opinions on Amberlynn Reid? Have literally never heard of that name.

Any current trends you dislike? Most streetwear.

#survey #surveys

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dustedmagazine · 3 years

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Jennifer Kelly 2020: I’m done expecting next year to be better

Not to belabor the point, which has been covered everywhere, but 2020 sucked. My last live concert was on March 7th. It was 75 Dollar Bill in a beautiful reconfigured industrial space on the Amherst College campus, and I already had questions about whether I should be there or not. The show was worth it, absolutely riveting, and no one I know got sick from it, but a couple of weeks later, Amherst College shut down and then, basically, the world.

When I think about 2020, I think about bands that don’t fully make sense unless you see them live, and how, this year, no one got to see them live. I think about musicians who were barely making it before, now cut off from concert revenues and, in a lot of cases, day jobs at restaurants, coffee shops and bars. I think about six-digit medical bills from multi-week COVID-19 treatments, and how my insurance will only cut that to low five figures. I think about the constant spew of bile and nonsense, the willful destruction of American institutions and the persistent sense that we will never recover from any of this, and I look for refuge.

Most of the time in music. Because the music kept coming even when everything else shut down. Even the artists who were holding back for better conditions ended up releasing EVERY ALBUM ON EARTH starting about September 18th. There was always music, good music, interesting music, beautiful music, and while that doesn’t compensate for a terrible year, it was something.

Here are 10 albums I loved best from 2020, with links to reviews or other articles I’ve written about them.

1. Gunn-Truscinski — Soundkeeper (Three Lobed)

Soundkeeper by Gunn-Truscinski Duo

A gorgeous exploration of mood and tone, this double CD set includes two extended live cuts and ten more recorded just down the road in Easthampton, Massachusetts. (And I thought nothing ever happened up here.) “Pyramid Merchandise” punches the hardest, John Truscinski balancing rock solid beat keeping with abstracted sculptures of percussive experiment, while Gunn finds the sweetness and the growl in his blues-touched guitar sound. But “Ocean City” is pure lovely respite, with big rounded notes dropping slowly and with grace through wavering transparencies of sustained tone. Long, searching, “Soundkeeper” will rekindle your longing for live improvised music, while the closer “For Eddie Hazel” vibrates with supercharged intensity, the notes and the steady rhythm too bright and beautiful to look at straight on.

2. Six Organs of Admittance — Companion Rises (Drag City)

Companion Rises by Six Organs of Admittance

Chasny imbues the down-home with wonder and the inexplicable with natural grace in this album inspired by stargazing. The album’s name references the way Sirius appears close to Orion, and the rollicking “The Scout Is Here,” commemorates the appearance of the Oumuamua asteroid, but this is no squiggle-y space opera. The music is mainly made of clean, all-natural picking, blues bends, and rambling jangle, though ruptured, periodically, by rushing, whooshing, amplified electronic sounds. Warm, simple clarity is tipped with awe in finger-picked “Black Tea,” while mists and mysteries predominate in evanescent “Worn Down to the Light,” but the joy comes in the balance between the ordinary and the unknowable shimmering like stars in a black sky.

3. Gil Scott-Heron and Makaya McCraven — We’re New Again (XL Recordings)

youtube

When the estate of Gil Scott-Heron asked Chicago composer, percussionist and hip hop chopper Makaya McCraven to reimagine the artist’s last, most personal album, McCraven jumped at the chance to tackle its themes of black struggle, black family and perseverance. McCraven surrounded Scott-Heron’s words with shimmering, post-jazz arrangements that incorporated some of his father’s recordings (his dad is jazz drummer Stephen McCraven) in an ongoing tribute to the blood relatives who shape and equip young black men for a challenging world. The music is wonderful, very different from the original, spare, blues-based arrangements, but they open out the master’s words in an illuminating way. I like, especially, the hustling, shuffling movement of “New York Is Killing Me,” which summons the city’s energy as clearly as the feel of heat rising out of a subway grate in August.

4. Obnox — Savage Raygun (Ever/Never)

Savage Raygun by Obnox

Obnox’s psychedelic mayhem roars like a California wildfire, setting a torch to rock, soul, hip hop, jazz and punk with fuzz-crusted abandon. Icons like Hawkwind flare out and curl into white-hot ash, while even Neil Young’s lick from “Southern Man,” is consumed in the all-encompassing heat of Lamont Thomas’ onslaught (“Young Neezy”). A double album, Savage Raygun covers a lot of ground, but in such a kinetic rush that it seems like one entity that stretched from end to end.

5. Anjimile — Giver Taker (Father/Daughter)

Giver Taker by Anjimile

Anjimile sounds beautifully comfortable with their new vocal range in this second full-length, which follows a gender transition. Pitched low and warm, their voice effortlessly navigates subtle melodies, integrating complex, African-leaning rhythms into songs about love, identify, family friction and the possibility of redemption through embracing one’s authentic self.

6. Osees — Protean Threat (Castleface)

Protean Threat by Oh Sees

John Dwyer has fronted bands called The O.Cs., The Ohsees, Thee Ohsees and now just Osees, evolving from a one-man bedroom pop outfit to a gleefully slopping garage pop project to a droning, krautrocking motoric monster along the way. This newest iteration takes a little of this, a little of that, from the repertoire, putting Dwyer’s best Bo Diddley-esque stomper in years (“If I Had My Way”) next to a wiggy psychedelic freak bomb called “Toadstool” which is adjacent to the dub-scented, narcotic head trip called “Gong of Catastrophe.” The mix works because Dwyer and his band commit to all of it, sequentially and within tracks. It’s the best Osees in years, all the good things in one package.

7. Sam Amidon — S-T (Nonesuch)

youtube

As always, Amidon starts with traditional, mostly folk and blues material and, as always, he transforms it into something more adventurous, spiritual and faintly otherworldly. With Shahzad Ismaily and Antibalas’ Chris Vatalaro to back him up, he breaks down the unyielding contours of pre-modern banjo tunes and porch blues, finding steady drones and complex afro-beat syncopations in their steady melodies. You can hear “Cuckoo Bird” a million times in a million different voices and never hear it as luminous and open-ended as here.

8. James Elkington — Ever Roving Eye (Paradise of Bachelors)

youtube

James Elkington is always pressed for time, maybe because he works regularly for so many other people’s bands (Richard Thompson, Jeff Tweedy, Spencer Tweedy) and collaborates with others (Steve Gunn). And yet his second solo album brims with balm and solace; he finds time in the interstices between warm, jazz-scented, Pentangle-esque verses and intricate flurries of picked and strummed and electric guitar. Even “Nowhere Time,” which exhorts “It is time for you to move,” has an ease and calm to it, while “Moon Tempering” is as still and lovely as winter starlight. Ever-Roving Eye is an album that assures us we’ll get it all done somehow, but just stop for a minute and listen.

9. Jehnny Beth — To Love Is To Live (Arts & Crafts)

youtube

This riveting solo debut from the Savages frontperson is both quieter and more intense than her full-band compositions, juxtaposing incendiary spoken word with the hedonistic thump of the dance floor. Guests are varied—Joe Talbot of IDLES at one pole, the actor Cillian Murphy at the other—but the music never drifts from Jehnny Beth’s singular viewpoint. Compare her to PJ Harvey or Beth Gibbons or Bobby Gillespie as you will (I did), but this is her 100%, and there’s nothing else like it.

10. Cable Ties — Far Enough (Merge)

Far Enough by Cable Ties

Australia churns out quality punk bands like the Hershey factory makes kisses, and Cable Ties, formed in Melbourne by four young rebels, ranks as one of the best to surface here in America this year. “Tell Them Where to Go” is the money track here, all rust-crusted bass crunch and ragged estrogenated vocal energy. But let’s not put them in the “girl band” ghetto. As I said in my review, “The easy thing would be to compare McKechnie’s vibrato-zinging vocals with those of Sleater-Kinney’s Corin Tucker or her verbal agility to Courtney Barnett, but the blunt force and agile violence of the music, brings to mind post-punk bands like the Wipers, Protomartyr and Eddy Current.”

Honorable mention

I also really enjoyed these albums in 2020.

Lewsberg — In this House (12XU)

Damien Jurado — What’s New Tomboy (Mamabird)

Bill Callahan — Gold Record (Drag City)

Mike Polizze — Long Lost Solace Find (Paradise of Bachelors)

Destroyer — Have We Met (Merge)

Decoy w/ Joe McPhee — AC/DC (otoROKU)

Thurston Moore — By the Fire (Daydream Library)

Tobin Sprout — Empty Horse (Fire)

FACS — Void Moments (Trouble in Mind)

Elkhorn — The Storm Sessions (Beyond Beyond Is Beyond)

Howling Hex — Knuckleball Express (Fat Possum)

Wendy Eisenberg — Auto (BaDaBing)

Xetas — The Cypher (12XU)

Califone — Echo Mine (Jealous Butcher)

Chouk Bwa & The Ångströmers — Vodou Alé (Bongo Joe)

Shopping — All or Nothing (Fat Cat)

Bonny Light Horseman — S-T (37d03d)

Tashi Dorji — Stateless (Drag City)

The Slugs — Don’t Touch Me I’m Too Slimy (2214099 Records DK)

Dr. Pete Larson and his Cytotoxic Nyatiti Band — S-T (Dagonetti)

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dddsfics · 4 years

Text

New update for “Opposites Attract”

After finishing her cup of coffee and taking a good 30 minutes to figure out what say, Ellen began the daunting task of replying to her texts. Some she gave a quick response to, others she knew she had to call. The problem was that the ones who deserved a phone call were the ones who were going to keep her on the phone for a least an hour. And oh did they ever. By the time she had finished answering half her texts and making all of her important phone calls it had somehow become 4:30 in the afternoon. How time flies when you aren’t in an office, she thought.

Charlie would be home in only an hour. Although the shop was open until 6, his position as both co-owner and head mechanic meant he could essentially work his own hours. And she knew damn well he would be home as early as possible to check on her. Yet here she was, still in her goddamn sweats from last night. Yeah, that was really going to make a good impression. Charlie was out working hard to support the two of them, while she hadn’t done a thing besides vent to her friends and listen to lectures on the phone for hours from her family. On top of that, she hadn’t cleaned any part of the house. She hadn’t even given a thought to dinner (which Charlie always prepared so it was hot when she got home). And she was starting to look as disheveled as a 16-year-old going through her first break up.

I can’t let him see me like this

With Ellen’s wardrobe seriously lacking in options, she decided to raid Charlie’s closet. Even if she still dressed down, she hoped sporting something of his would add somewhat of a sexy element to the ensemble. She was immediately drawn to the gray sweatshirt with a logo of one of Charlie’s favorite pubs. It looked incredibly cozy and, fortunately for her, still had a hint of his scent. So she traded her own shirt for his, and slipped into the one pair of jeans tucked away in her dresser drawer.

She finally hurried off into the kitchen and took a good, long look at the inventory in the fridge. She wasn’t even sure what she could whip from the mishmosh of items in there. Charlie certainly had the cooking skills for that. Her? Not so much.

Just as she had grabbed her phone to began looking at delivery options, a text from Charlie popped up on her phone. “Want me 2 grab dinner?”

With a smile, she texted him back a kissy face. Always the life saver.

.....:....................

“I can’t remember the last time we’ve had lunch...or that I’ve seen you in daylight.”

Ellen chuckled, but Margo had a point. Outside of work events the past couple of years, she hadn’t had much of a life. Not to mention Margo had become quite busy raising a family so the two rarely saw each other these days. But after she had reached out to Ellen the prior day and offered to meet up for lunch, she saw no reason not to reconnect.

“How have you been taking this huge change?”

Ellen sighed and rolled the cherry tomato from her salad around on her plate. “Well yesterday I didn’t get dressed until after 4:00 and I forgot to eat lunch so...you tell me.”

“Honestly, and I know you probably don’t believe me right now, but getting let go was the best thing to ever happen to me. I was able to figure out my priories, take a good hard look at myself, Roger and I were finally able to start a family and I don’t feel like my entire life is run by my career.”

“But that was three years ago.”

Margo raised her eyebrows as if to challenge her. “Exactly. Look how much has changed.”

Ellen didn’t know what to say. Sure, things for Margo had gotten easier over time. But she was a mess for at least six months when it had happened. Had she forgotten that?

“So how are things going with Charlie? Maybe now might be the time to talk about settling down, if that’s something you’re interested in of course.”

“Margo, I think that baby train has left the station.” Ellen was trying her hardest not to roll her eyes at her friend.

“Hardly. You still have time left if you’re really dedicated to the idea.”

The look Ellen gave her made it crystal clear she wasn’t.

“Well, there are other ways to ‘settle down’ you know. Although what you and Charlie have seems to be working so I don’t blame you if you both want to keep things as they are.”

Ellen felt her mind start to wander, then caught herself before she got lost in a train of thought. “Yeah, things are great between us. Not sure we really need anything else, you know?”

Margo nodded, then took a bite of her turkey sandwich. “Well one thing’s for sure. He seems to be over the moon for you. I’d do anything to get Roger acting like that around me again.”

Ellen wasn’t sure what to say, so she let her friend continue as she nibbled away at her salad.

“And after seeing you with Joel and that horrendous asshole Greg, Charlie is even more of a dream. I’m glad you have him. And whatever you do, don’t let him go.”

——

As Ellen drove back to the house, she kept replaying her conversation with Margo in her head. What she and Charlie had was great. They had been together for three years, living together for one and things were better than ever. Effortless, really. The two of them had honestly never had a discussion about marriage. Of course, Charlie knew Ellen had been engaged before to the corporate douchebag known as Joel, but she made it clear that she left him because she finally came to realize what a snake he was. It wasn’t a fear of commitment. Not in the least. But, why had she never even thought about walking down the aisle for real this time? Had he thought about it?

Although Charlie was quite the romantic, he didn’t seem like the marriage type. Hell, he was that stereotypical bachelor when they met. The thought still made her laugh. But he had a capacity for romance that few other men could match. It was one of the many reasons she fell in love with him.

Charlie would no doubt make a great husband. But would she be able to fill the role of wife?

Does he even see me as marriage material?

She became so lost in thought that she almost drove past a stop sign. “Shit.”

Thanks a lot, Margo.

——

That night, after the she and Charlie enjoyed the pasta they had whipped up together, Ellen asked if he wanted to go on a walk. Though he was caught off guard by her out-of-character suggestion, he was more than happy to oblige.

As he locked the door behind them, Ellen stood on the porch and closed her eyes to breathe in the crisp autumn air. Somehow it was even more gorgeous outside on this particular evening than it had been just the previous morning.

“Just beautiful,” Charlie said softly as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She felt herself melt into him and let out a content sigh. “Isn’t it?”

“I was talking about you.”

Immediately Ellen began to blush, just as she always had whenever he complimented her. Something about the way he said it was just enough to send chills down her spine in the best way possible.

Charlie planted a kiss on the top of her head, then moved to her side and linked his hand with hers, leading her down towards the road.

They walked slowly in sync, saying very little to each other for the first time that night. Charlie appeared to be taking in the sights and sounds of the evening, humming a tune while rubbing her hand with his thumb. Ellen’s mind, however, was elsewhere. All evening she had been trying to muster up the courage to bring up the topic of marriage. But she couldn’t figure out where the hell to begin.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight.” Apparently he had noticed that her mind was elsewhere. Oops.

“Babe,” she finally managed to say. “Have you ever thought about...”

She stopped mid-sentence, prompting Charlie to squeeze her fingers as if he were encouraging her to continue.

“...getting a dog?”

Charlie stopped in his tracks to look down at her with a confused smile. “A dog?”

She had no idea where that had come from. “I...yeah, I mean it could be fun.” Her voice was getting higher by the second.

He gently pulled his hand away from hers, then began to caress her back as they walked. “Well, why don’t we visit the shelter this weekend then? Get a jump start on our new role as pet parents,” he said, clearly giddy.

And just like that, Ellen felt like her entire world was turning upside down for the second time that week.

#ellen and charlie #opposites attract

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collective-laugh · 5 years

Text

Main 6 + MC Hogwarts After Harry Potter Graduates HCs

I'm following @savenkey 's beautiful edits of the Arcana as HP houses

Asra

I think Asra would be a bopping Divination teacher

Like not only is he at tune with the future and understanding it, he's got the aesthetic

Probably gives out a lot of extra credit, doesn't want to see any of his students fail

He went to Ilvermory as a kid, and was really enamored with the idea of traveling, but he was so set on being a teacher, and so the wind brought him to Hogwarts

He was sorted as a Hufflepuff, and it's not proven him wrong thus far

Faust is his adorable little troublemaker assistant and definitely whispers answers to students when they're taking tests

Wants his class to be challenging but, on the real, an easy A

He's a great teacher, but is almost always getting nagged on by Dumbledoof and the other teachers

He doesn't worry about it too much - he's happy where he is, and his students, for the most part, thrive

Nadia

Nadia does not intentionally make Potions one of the hardest classes, should you take it under her

But let's be real, only best will pass her class regardless

She and Snape are not necessarily mortal enemies, but they're not buds

Minerva, on the other hand, is a very close friend of Nadia's.

She went to Durmstrang as a girl, and was sorted into Ravenclaw, where she absolutely thrived

She was always challenging herself, even going so far as to complain about the lack of competition

Her rules are law, and though she will do her best to adhere to her authority figures, she will stick to her beliefs in the end

Chandra is her saving grace, a sweet little owl who loves to stare at students while they take tests so Nadia can grade papers in peace

Her headaches have only been getting worse, but her colleague, Portia, always offers to help, bless her

Julian

The Devorak name carries almost as much weight as the Weasleys, or as Vol - er, He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named

He's the flying instructor, which surprised everyone, including himself

But, he's good with the first years and he loves flying, and he's a trained physician

Of course, he substitutes as nurse when need be, but Madame Pomfrey almost always has it covered

He's been teaching here for a few years - the number changes drastically every time you ask him

Same goes for his eye - he's always making up some wild story, and no one really knows the truth but he and his family

He's a good teacher, but firm, and won't curve any grades, but he is adamant about extra credit

You went to that Quidditch match? Ten points to Hufflepuff and ten points to your last test grade

He himself went to Hogwarts when he was young, and was sorted into Gryffindor to...no one's surprise

He is brave, mostly, and is smart and courageous and knows what he wants

Muriel

As a boy, Muriel had been sorted into Hufflepuff, but after graduation, and he started teaching at Hogwarts...things happen

He doesn't like to talk about those things and chooses to live out in the woods

Hagrid's nice, and the creatures are kind, and they're two wood bros who just chill out and interact with the kids sometimes

He's got a pet, a great, beautiful wolf he was convinced saved his life more than once. She called herself Inanna

He does miss the school, sometimes, but his little hut is enough to keep him company, and the kids are nice enough

Those brave enough to venture out to meet him usually don't stay long, but sometimes there's a particularly brave seventh year, or a persistent Dumbledore who 'just wants to talk'

No thanks, he doesn't really want to talk

Portia

Portia graduated from Hogwarts three years ago, and was offered a job almost immediately upon completion

She's the herbology instructor, and is one of the most nurturing and excitable teacher ever

She does think that it's strange that she used to be an upperclassmen to nearly half the student body, but she tries not to think about it too much

She's still got her beloved Pepi, her sweet baby

She was, unsurprisingly, sorted as a Gryffindor, both due to her spunk and to her family name

She tried to exceed her name, to be more, and she was happy to learn she'd be teaching with Julian at Hogwarts

It was a competition in her mind, really, but she was happy to be there

She's always flitting about, helping faculty and students, regardless of house or standing, and some wonder how she was a Gryffindor and not a Hufflepuff

Until they see her angry, her defending the students, and it all makes sense

Lucio

Lucio wants to be in the cool kids club so badly

But for now, he's just the transfer from Ilvermory, and knows Asra all too damn well

He's a Slytherin, and he teaches Charms

But he wants to be the new DaDA teacher so badly

He just knows he'll be able to last more than a year - oh, he wants it so badly, and he tries to be suave and cunning and let everyone else see just how much he deserves the position

He doesn't get it

But, he's an alright charms teacher.

People talk about him behind his back, and he loves to deduct points at every beck and call, regardless of house

Honestly, it's a game to him, but he'll be rooting for Slytherin, to the end

He absolutely does not stand for bullying in his classroom, and will shut that shit down, regardless of house

The latest and greatest defense against the dark arts professor, and they've managed to catch the eye of one particular bachelor(ette)

Their house is almost always displayed proudly, their one of the best DaDA professors Hogwarts has seen in a long while

They came in after the whole Harry Potter fiasco, and people are...dare they say, hopeful that this professor will last

Every time they hear about Harry Potter, they wonder how the hell they let a...child get into that situation

Every year. For like 7 years. That's absolutely cray to them

But they teach, and they do that shit well, and they start a relationship with a certain wizard

#headcanons #arcana #main 6 #harry potter #sfw #fluff

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sebseyesandbuckysthighs · 5 years

Text

Three Soldiers and a Baby | Part Eight

summary: Three handsome bachelors find their day to day operations disrupted when an unexpected new roommate (who comes complete with a diaper and a pacifier) shows up at their doorstep. How will they deal with this new and baffling responsibility without losing their minds or killing each other in the process?

pairings: Bucky x Reader (eventual) featuring Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

warnings: none, just make-believe goodness, and some swearing

a/n: Well, we’re back with another chapter! I’ll be honest with you, I nearly forgot about posting this chapter today. I spent the weekend at home, but now I’m back at my place and literally putting this in my queue with only a half hour left. 😆 Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

*warning to mobile users, the “keep reading” tab may not work so apologies in advance*

| previously |

It was past midnight when a click stirred Steve from his sleep. He thought perhaps Ellie had woken up and was fussing around in her bassinet, but when he looked over she was still sound asleep. He thought perhaps it was Sam’s light snores that woke him, but they hadn’t before and when he heard the click again he knew something was off. He tossed a pillow at Sam to wake him, gently of course, and just as he did something crashed at the front hallway. Sam was awake just as Steve leapt to grab his shield from beside the couch. Both were on high alert as to who the hell could have broken into their apartment. They both circled in front of Ellie protectively, moving forward inch by inch until suddenly all the lights went on. Steve threw his shield toward the door and instead of it knocking out whoever dared to trespass into their home, a metal hand caught it with a deafening clang.

“What the hell?” The deep sharp register of a man’s voice yelled out in the night.

“Bucky?” whispered Steve just as Sam growled, “Barnes!”

The three men stared each other down as the threat of danger faded away and heart rates returned to somewhat normal levels. Before anyone could say another word, though, there was a soft huff heard from the living room just before a wailing cry pierced into the night.

Bucky’s eyes widened dramatically and his skin paled slightly. “What the hell is that?”

———————————————————————

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam exclaimed as he glared daggers at the infamous soldier.

“I live here?” Bucky said rhetorically. “So much for a, “Welcome home, buddy” or a “How’d the mission go, pal?” The hell’s a-matter with you guys anyways? And what’s that noise?” He started inching closer to them only to be blocked off by the pair.

“You want a nice welcome home, how about I strangle you with my bare hands for a nice welcome home!” Sam was about to lunge at Bucky, but Steve had anticipated the attack and yanked him back by the collar of his sleep shirt. Bucky was a little thrown off by the active hostility and the tension in the room wasn’t getting any better with the baby crying in the background. Steve was a little annoyed with Bucky himself, though.

“We thought someone was breaking in,” Steve said defensively as he placed his fists high on his hips.

The statement made Bucky stare at his friend, both confused and amused. “Breaking in? With a key?” He laughed. “Damn, you guys are intense tonight. What’s gotten into the two of ya’s?”

The crying got more frantic and deafening as the men slowly backed into the living room. It was Steve that broke first and lurched over to Ellie, effortlessly scooping her up, and in seconds flat was calming her down after all the commotion.

All Bucky could do was stare as his best friend held a screaming baby in his hands, rocking her back and forth and murmuring soft words to her. He was frozen in place, shocked at the scenario he found himself in suddenly. The living room looked like a tornado had casually passed through it. He tried zoning in on what was going on between his two friends, but he couldn’t seem to focus on that spot where they were standing.

“Guys, what is that?” he asked shakily.

“Dammit, Barnes. What’s she look like? A labradoodle?” Sam patronized.

“That’s a baby. What’s a baby doing here?” Bucky’s voice sounded far away even to himself as he sputtered out his words. “Who’s is it?” he asked, gravely.

“She,” Steve said proudly. “Her name’s Ellie.”

“Elizabeth actually,” pointed out Sam, puffing up a pillow on his couch and flopping down onto the cushion. “As for her last name that’s up for debate. For right now, though, you could say that her last name is Barnes.”

Bucky turned ashen as Sam said the words. Petrified and stunned into complete silence, his heart beating faster than he ever remembered it doing so. His jaw was so tense that the sound of his teeth grinding together somewhat woke Bucky from his trance. What the hell were they talking about?

“You better sit down for this one, Buck.” Steve said calmly, gently placing a fast asleep Ellie back into her bassinet. “It’s a bit of a long story.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“The fuck do you mean you don’t know where she is?” Bucky exclaimed, his fists held firmly at his sides. He was about to go off again when both Steve and Sam told him to shut up before he woke the baby again. Bucky looked apprehensively at the little bundle in the other room, needing to grip onto the island countertop when he saw her again. He still hadn’t even begun to process the baby thing when he was too busy worrying about her mother.

For the past year and a few odd months, Bucky wasn’t able to get you off of his mind. Finding you after all he had been through, and all you had been through during the day you two met, was like a shining star at the end of a long dark tunnel. Thirteen months he spent with you secretly by his side and Bucky couldn’t remember a happier time in his life. A time that he hadn’t been able to find again since. The end of the relationship came abruptly and without any cause or reason. Everything had been going so well until one day, with tears in your eyes, you told Bucky that it had to end. He fought you on it for hours, even went so far as to beg and plead with you to reconsider, but you would just tearfully shut him down. He grew suspicious about your reasons, clearly seeing that it was breaking you apart as much as it was him. Yet you kept insisting.

So Bucky went away. For your sake he thought because if it was up to him he would still be fighting you to this day to take him back. He only realized when it was much too late what his desperation was really trying to tell him. Now you were missing. Probably scared and alone too. At least enough to leave behind the child the two of you brought into this world together. Except you weren’t together. You had been all alone when Ellie was born and for months still after that. Bucky was smart enough to know that raising a baby on your own was the hardest kind of work there was. He felt sick to his stomach that he wasn’t there for you and worried to his core now that you were nowhere to be found. There was one part of the letter he kept seeing over and over in his mind, unable to shake it.

“I needed to leave her with someone I know I could trust. I’m so sorry, Bucky. Please don’t hate me. Take care of our little girl.”

What kind of trouble could she have possibly been in that she couldn’t come to him with in the first place. “Where could she be, though? What happened to her? Oh god.” Bucky exhaled sharply. “Fuck. I need to go find her.” He pushed away from the island and rushed away towards the front door, but was stopped by both Sam and Steve who barricaded him back into the kitchen.

“Hold on, Buck. We’ll figure that out together. We’ll fix this.” Steve reassured.

“Just calm down, man.” Even Sam sympathized with Bucky at this point. He could see the genuine worry on the soldier’s face.

“But why wouldn’t she come to me? I could have helped her. Could have protected her.” Bucky dropped his head, ashamed and upset. “Should have protected her.”

“She did come to you, Bucky.” Steve said, then pointed over to the living room. “The proof is right over there.”

“Okay listen, Barnes. Just breathe for a second and hear me out.” Sam moved closer to Bucky, resting a firm hand on the man’s flesh and muscle shoulder. “When a woman says, “I need you to do this for me,” then that’s it. You do it. Without question. Cause otherwise she would handle it herself. This woman trusts you enough to leave her child with you. Now there’s no accounting for tastes here, but I think you owe her this much. Trust her to know what she’s doing just like she trusts you enough to take care of her baby.” Sam paused, looked back at Ellie and then straight to Bucky again. “Your baby.”

Bucky still had a look of apprehension on his face, but even he had to admit that Sam was right. Still silent, he took a deep breath in and out before he decided on what he would do next. This was a big step forward in his life and he absolutely could not risk screwing it up. With one final goodbye to his old days, Bucky looked off into the living room at the small basket that stood out like a beacon in the once upon a time bachelor pad. As far as he was concerned, that frilly bassinet in there held his future.

With a resolute nod, Bucky puffed out his chest and nodded. “You’re right. That’s my baby in there and I’m gonna do right by her. But you guys promise that we’ll do something about finding her?” He referred to you. Both Sam and Steve nodded in genuine agreement. “Alright then. I’m gonna go meet my baby girl.”

Steve and Sam remained back in the kitchen as Bucky took measured steps towards the living room where his daughter currently slept. While he was making his way over there, Steve turned to Sam and pat his friend firmly on the shoulder. “That was a nice thing you did for Buck, Sam. You may act like you don’t like him, but you really came through for him just now. I appreciate that.”

Sam just smiled and nodded proudly. “Not bad huh, Cap?” He stopped nodding then gave his friend a wicked side-eye. “But actually what I did just now was set that man up for a sleepless night after an almost week long mission. Not to mention that little girl had green beans for lunch and dinner today.” Sam sighed happily and walked away towards the bathroom for a quick shower, leaving a bewildered Steve and clueless Bucky behind.

Bucky didn’t even notice Sam walking away as he slowly inched closer and closer. He was just glad no one called him out on taking his sweet time getting there. When he finally reached the edge of her bassinet, Bucky felt as though all the air left within his lungs rushed out in a single exhale. Looking down at the slumbering face of his daughter was almost too surreal for Bucky to handle. In that moment he was sure that she was the most beautiful being in existence. “Holy shit. She looks just like her mom,” Bucky quietly whispered, his voice hoarse from all the emotions flowing through him. “She’s fucking beautiful.”

Steve had remained quiet as he watched the scene between his best friend and his daughter. He too was overcome with emotion, but was holding it together better than Bucky was. He walked forward to join the pair and noticed the moisture building up in Bucky’s eyes while he continued to stare at Ellie. “Yeah she is, Buck. Congratulations, man.”

Bucky finally looked away from his daughter, a light stream of tears flowing down his cheeks as he reached out to his best friend and pulled him into a tight hug.

———————————————————————

Feedback is always appreciated, leave it here!

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part seven << part eight >> part nine

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Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

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tags:

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson #bucky barnes fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #three soldiers and a baby #my writing

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