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matchadobo · 4 months

Text

KIDD; overheard

wc: 2768

summary: kidd overhead virgin!freader moaning out his name

warning/s: nsfw🔞, fem reader, v1brators, first-time-s3x, cooming inside, cunnilingus, thr0at fucking, fluff in the end

you never had sex. you're a virgin. and kidd respects that. kidd had been courting you because you insist on doing it the traditional way. he just likes you so much he does sacrifices for you. he's not the type of guy who'd go through such lengths for a girl, but with you, man he'd do anything to let him love you.

you wouldn't expect that a man of his stature wouldn't talk you into having sex when you two started getting romantically involved. kidd was, of course, not a virgin. a man like him, who's built like a fucking fridge, who's tongue brings him so many places, who's charisma is unparalleled, and his overflowing sex appeal. you admit that your boyfriend is hot, and you want to know what i feels to bed him someday. he's perfectly aware of your situation and he gaves you free reign of your sexual status, he never forces you to go all the way. it's just all about touching between the both of you.

it's mostly on kidd's end when we talk about containing it. especially when you don't fix up yourself around him on domestic days. or when you don a pretty little dress.

you'd be fooling yourself if you don't wanna do more than touching and kissing with him. each time he takes his shirt off and his happy trail shows. how his muscles flex when he's reaching over something high or hugging you. you can't help but be curious of how it'd feel if he have his way with you.

so that one night where curiosity won over you, you decided to buy a vibrator since you can't find it in you to ask the guy that's been courting you and you who has been constantly insisting on taking things slow. once you're all alone, you discarded your clothes and lied on his bed. you were staying with him for the night. you could've done it in your place but, the scent of his cologne on his sheets and the sight of his things made you more aroused.

as you spread yourself on the bed, you don't know the first thing about vibrators. all you knew was how badly you wanted him, how you imagine him doing the stimulation and not this expensive fucking vibrating rod. as you felt the splurge of pleasure, you were out of this world. your eyes rolled at the back of your head and your mouth muttered his name with the filthiest intent.

little did you know, kidd was on his way back to his place. he just got off the elevator and is walking toward his unit with a handful of takeout for your date night. he was exhausted from work today and all he wanted to do was come home to you and feel you. not fully aware of your act.

"y'all fuck yet?" heat asked over the phone. kidd tsked through the call.

"if that's what the hell you're gonna talk about i'll block you." he almost hit the end call if it weren't for killer taking over.

"listen, we're just iffy about this courting thing. you always start your relationships with fucking or something." killer calmly retorted. "plus, it's been three months and you two are kind of a blur, aye? don't you think it's time to take a step much higher?"

"let me tell you freaks somethin': name is the most precious angel that ever crossed this earth, ya hear me? she ain't some whore i chase to keep my cock warm. i want to have somethin' special with her, cuz hey, she's one special lady herself." he took a deep breath before continuing, fishing out his keycard from his wallet. "ain't it enough reason to wait it out? i imagine sex with her like a good ol' scotch, aye? longer you wait, tastier it gets. i know she couldn't resist me either, the way those eyes linger ain't a wholesome thing. all the more reason the sex'll be so fuckin' sweet once she's ready." he emphasized on the last three words.

you were too lost in the glee of the stimulation, you didn't even hear the beep of his door as he got inside. as kidd settled his stuff down and calmed down by his couch, he started to wonder where you are. he roamed around his unit to find you, only to hear faint noises of your voices. they sounded like whimpers so he started getting worried and hurried to find where the sound was coming from.

he felt his dick tighten in his pants when he heard you moaning out his name loud and clear. his grasp on the plastic bag carrying your food tightened, he swallowed a hard lump down his throat. he couldn't resist barging in on you.

he would nut right then and there. when he saw you wide open right before him, you reached your climax just as he went in. your scream resounding in the room. so you sat frozen with your legs spread, one hand on the vibrator while the other played with your tits. you stopped immediately and hid yourself under his sheets, your face flushed red in sheer embarrassment. "w-what the hell?! i-i- what the fuck are you doing here, kidd?!"

he sighed before saying, "in case you didn't know; this is my room," he pulled his shirt over his head, walking a step closer to you. "and you're naked," he unbuckled his belt, getting even closer to you. "wide open." he kicked his pants away the floor, crawling by the bed. "moaning my name unbefitting of a cute little thing such as yourself." he pulled the sheets you were covering yourself with. "this much is fuckin' rich coming from someone who insists on taking it slow. your words bit you back in the ass, aye?"

you were flushed red at his proximity, your eyes shakily alternating between his. "i-i wasn't..."

"wasn't what? fucking yourself with that thing and imagining i was ramming into you?" he cocked a brow, canines tugging by his lower lip. "baby, hadn't i told you that you can just tell me if you wanna give it a go? i'm more than happy to teach ya," he gave your cheeks a soft caress.

his big hands trailed down your jaw, fingers tracing the edge of your face, down to the column of your neck until he wrapped his hands around your it and pulled you closer. eliciting a moan out of you, his grin widening. "aren't you a filthy, little slut too?"

he kissed you on your open mouth, the grip on your neck tightening. "what were you thinking about, hm?" he pressed the vibrator closer to your clit after flicking the button on. "was i too hot for you? you want me to fuck you up so bad, huh? stretch this tight, little thing wide, fucking, open." he pressed foreheads with you after licking your lips.

all you could do was pout and curl up your brows, your eyes rolling at the back of your head as you didn't even know what kind of high you're in right now. "nghh- kidd- please...!" you bit your lip, clawing at his arms.

"please what? i can stop." he gently whispered against your ear. "i can take care of mine just fine you know." he gestured to his bulging length underneath his brief. you felt yourself choke at the act, imagining how he'd be like.

"n-no!" you responded, squirming under him. he hasn't discarded the vibrator but only made it even more extreme. "k-keep going... i-i want to go all the way, okay?"

"aye." he nodded, giving you a long, wet kiss before turning the vibrator off. he ducked his head down and placed soft, gentle kisses on your inner thighs, teasing your sopping cunt by his stippled pecks. "ready?" he stared at you, his hot breath tickling your folds. you nodded with pressed lips, bracing yourself with his tongue.

he languidly dragged his tongue down the line of your folds, not breaking eye contact as he watch you squirm with only just his tongue. how you sound so much like a slut just for him. he pulled your hips closer, drowning his face within your opening and the flesh of your thighs. he hummed through you as a response to your moans, vibrations pumping through your veins. he took it a notch higher and slid a finger in. you were becoming limp at this point.

but you wanted to please him too, you want to help him with that tent in his pants. so once you pushed his head deeper and you pulled on his hair, you came in his mouth. he sipped in your juices, slurping in your cum.

"c-can i please you too?" you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"i was just about to say that." he stood up on the bed, holding your jaw by his hands. "go ahead, love."

you hesitantly raise your hands, still looking at him. your fingers crept on his waistbands, sliding them off. his pulsating length sprung out, dripping with precum. you couldn't help but act surprise at the size of him even though you already know that he's phenomenally huge. he would already cum right then and there when he saw the enormous difference between the size of him to your face, how your eyes try to fathom how you'd fit that in your mouth and in your cunt.

you start to wrap your cold fingers around him, a gasp escaping him at your contact. you pumped unsurely, from his flushed head down to his veiny shaft. you opened your mouth and gave a kitten lick by his head, keeping an eye on him before swallowing him whole. he was so huge you gagged when you were just by the half of him.

his hands found its way to the sides of your head as he pushed his length further in your throat, relishing on the warmth of your mouth. you dug your nails by the skin of his hips, eyes watering at the impact of the head of his length touching the back of your throat. he grunted as he tried to restrain himself to let you adjust.

once you let go with a pop, strings of saliva trailed from his head to your lips. there were scattered drools on your lips, you wiped it with the back of your palm. "w-wait, i- you're too big." you giggled shyly, tucking your hair by your ear.

"yeah? sure you can handle it?" he rubbed your chin between his thumb and index, studying your expressions. "i assure you, it will be a lot fucking bigger inside you."

you gulped deeply, face heating up. so you cleared your throat, and prepped yourself to do it once more. you slowly got used to bobbing your head back and forth, the friction of your lips gliding across the surface of his veiny length. as your saliva coated his shaft, it became more slippery and easier to slide in your mouth.

kidd was cursing out words each time his cock slipped in and out of your mouth. he pushed himself further, despite your protests of drumming his hips. he pulled on your hair tightly, fucking your mouth in an unforgiving pace. once he came in your mouth, he left it there for a while, his cum dripping down your throat. you had to catch your breath as residue of cum and drool littered your chin.

he sat down before you,"for a beginner, you're goddamn amazing." he placed a kiss on your forehead then to you lips. as he kissed you fervently; his hands went from choking your neck, squeezing your tits with his palms, and rubbing on your clit as he spread your wetness from your cunt to your inner thighs. "let me spread you up for the finale." he mumbled against your open mouth which elicited breathy moans. his thigh and shoulder provided support for your frame as he fingered you open.

your hand reached over his cheek, looking at him with the most vulnerable gaze. he memorized how sinful you looked for him, how your eyes begged for more and how your mouth uttered the neediest response from his stimulation.

you pressed your forehead by his cheek as you approached your climax, clawing at his arms. he watched how your cunt clenched around his fingers at each curl and spread. you ended up breathless after you came.

but he didn't give you any chance to pause and compose yourself, he lied you down the mattress and knelt before your body. he gave his length a few pumps after spitting on it, he teased his meat on your soaking cunt; savoring how you furrow your brows and gawk at him. he spread your legs by your inner thighs, pushing your hips toward his so you two could be very close. kidd leaned down and pressed foreheads with you, "i'm putting it in, aye?" he asked for permission and you hummed. he gave your nose a little kiss before sliding himself in slowly.

"f-fuck...!" he stuttered, breathless at the tightness of your innocent cunt. he could slide in without any pain from his or your end, your walls just clench around him a lot. you too were drooling and too lost at the fullness of his cock, he's way too huge for you to fathom. "if you keep clenching like that i'm not gonna last, love. i haven't even been fully in." he panted, smiling against your cheek.

once he fully got settled, the head of his cock reached your cervix; that's how big he is. after adjusting, he began moving back and forth. it took everything in him to do it slowly, he wanted to fuck you stupid in a harsh pace. you reached for his neck, slowly lling him down to kiss him. "i-it hurts, b-baby. i-i it feels sore." you said in between kisses. "b-but don't stop, i-it feels amazing too." you smiled meekly, a single tear falling at the corner of your eye.

kidd felt motivated to refine his performance, your words were like a brush on his shoulder. he kissed your tears away before saying, "i know, bunny. i promise to only let you feel the good part, hm?"

as you fist the sheets and his grip on your waist tightened, you two slowly found rhythm. kidd adored how pleasured you look right now, to the point that you don't know what to do with yourself. you played with your tits, sucked on his fingers, clawed on his arms, covered your face with the pillows, and clutched your tummy as you grew near. he was doing all of that to you and it was the biggest turn on for him. he reached over to hold your face in his hand, then he rubbed on your lips, and finally wrapped his hands around your neck. you swallowed at the constriction on your throat, his firm hand holding you in place. his other hand was holding your leg that was swung on top of his shoulder. "you close?" he asked, hips unceasing.

you nodded, your eyes becoming swollen at the amount of tears you let out. "me too, baby. i-i'm- ngh fuck!" he too was lost for words, he felt you clench again around him, you felt him throb inside you; the vibration coursing through your veins. "do you want me to p-pull out?"

you didn't know either. it was your first time and you know the risks. but it was kidd. you want him to release inside, to keep you warm, to let his cum drip down your cunt. so you shook your head and pulled him by the neck. "cum inside, release all of it."

from your words, he came right then and there, shooting up ropes of cum inside your womb. "if we're gonna have brats, i'm done for." he panted with his forehead resting on your shoulder.

"me too, mini versions of you are a headache." you giggled a bit, kissing his ear.

"can i just stay inside?" he lied gently beside you, "you just feel so good and i want to sleep like this."

another tear streamed down your cheeks, what a goddamn softie. you nodded turning your back on him and placing your hand above his which was resting atop your stomach. "i'm glad you're my first." you blurted out, blushing afterward.

"i'm glad you're my last, shortcake."

you gave him a glare but he just giggled.

one last hc before i wage war with my exams 🥺 this is for tHE FREAKSSS 🤪🫣

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jeneveuxrein · 5 months

Text

needy (BLACKPINK Rosé)

word count: 3.3K

(i'm a bit rusty, lol)

You hear an exaggerated sigh behind you. You ignore it, choosing instead to smirk at your screen as your team continues with its quest.

Your online friends would call you a complete idiot for not doing what you should be doing versus what you’re actually doing.

It wasn’t intentional.

At least on your end, it wasn’t.

Well, to an extent.

You shouldn’t be focused on finding this stupid shield Jungkook read about from a gaming article with this new update.

You should, however, give all of your attention to the woman laying on your bed.

But it’s not that simple.

See, the thing is, when you meet someone as famous as Park Chaeyoung, or Rosé, or your favorite Rosie or Chaeng, there are rules you’ve established to make this relationship work.

Rule number one: no one can know unless it’s disclosed to her company. Privacy and all that, not only for her, but for you as well.

Rule number two: you specifically aren’t allowed to date anyone else. The rule applies to her because you are officially together, like boyfriend-girlfriend kind of together, but she likes having so-called power over you.

Rule number three: if you’re in each other’s presence, undivided attention is a must. Time is precious for the both of you after all. She has a hectic schedule that takes her all over the world while your line of work has you constantly troubleshooting to make sure everything runs smoothly.

So it was a surprise when Rosie showed up at your apartment a little before midnight without a heads up. She knew what you were doing this evening, but you hadn’t heard from her since morning. You, being you, figured she had an event or a rehearsal or something that kept her occupied. Not that you weren’t involved in her life, but her schedule constantly changed. It was hard for you to keep up.

Rosie lets out another exaggerated sigh that it actually distracts you, causing your character to die in this part of the quest.

“Dude seriously?” Jungkook’s voice is in your headphones, chuckling. “You of all people dying to that?”

“Shut up,” Is all you say, swiveling your chair around to your girlfriend dressed in more comfortable clothes than what she arrived in—your clothes specifically. She has a habit of rummaging through your drawers. Not that you minded, she looks hot in whatever she wears. There was just something about her wearing your clothes that had you feeling some type of way. You mute your mic, double checking it is in fact muted before asking, “Everything alright?”

“I’m over and my boyfriend won’t spend time with me,” Rosie huffs out, crossing her arms.

“If I knew you were coming over, I wouldn’t have logged on,” You roll your eyes, glancing at the screen to thirty seconds left before you respawned.

“I called,” Rosie glares. Someone else might’ve folded under her gaze, but it doesn’t intimidate you.

“And my phone was in the living room,” You say, slightly apologetic, but the respawn sound plays that has you turning back to the screen.

“Yeah yeah, play your stupid game,” Rosie mutters, which you hear loud and clear while the rest of the guys talk about their day.

See, meeting Rosie was pure chance, a deal of the hand you weren’t expecting. Your gaming company drove the development of her group’s mobile game and when it was time to launch, the members of BLACKPINK were there.

At the time, you were just one of the developers since you had more of a managerial role and took it last minute. You were overseeing the game’s development more than anything, giving your two cents as needed, but were hands off for the most part.

According to Rosie, as she told you during your first date, you were indifferent to meeting them as opposed to everyone else on the team who brought merch for them to sign. She noticed you before the other three girls did, and made sure she personally introduced herself to you.

Rosie’s beautiful. You’re not blind. You get the appeal. You guessed it was that you treated them like normal people instead of idols that had most of your coworkers swooning in their presence.

She’s also clingy, not that you minded. She’s slowly told you about her past relationships–lies, cheating, using her. It left wounds of insecurity that have made her feel unsure of who she could trust her heart with.

One drunken night after spending it at Jennie’s, tangled in your sheets, Rosie told you she felt safe with you.

Though, as of this moment, you sense the irritation rolling off of her.

“What the fuck?” The controller falls into your lap when you see Rosie suddenly beside you.

“You good over there?” Tae asks.

“Yeah, I just gotta mute myself for a sec, my girlfriend’s calling me,” You mute the mic again, grabbing the controller before turning to Rosie. “What?”

“I’m bored,” Rosie states simply.

“And you want to watch me play?”

“Can I?” You raise an eyebrow, knowing her too well that she’s up to something.

“Did you want me to grab you a-” Rosie doesn’t let you finish, opting to sit in your lap. “Okay fine, no funny business.”

Rosie shrugs, settling comfortably against you as you unmute yourself, “Sorry.”

“Are you in trouble?” Jungkook jokes. Your friends know of your girlfriend, but you have yet to give any information on her. Again, privacy and all that.

“No, she’s just being needy,” That earns you a slap on the arm and a glare.

Your friends laugh, which Rosie hears, slapping your thigh this time. You squeeze her body with your arms before resting your chin on her shoulder as you continue playing.

Time goes by, Rosie starts squirming in your hold. She was never one to sit still. You let go and she tilts her head back onto your shoulder before she relaxes against your chest. It’s nice being with her like this. She comes over often, but not often enough.

You haven’t seen her in almost two weeks. The group just finished their last leg of their tour before their encore performances begin. They have a show in France in a couple weeks, which you’ll be joining them. She asked if you wanted to go with them to the states so you could visit your mother in San Francisco. You had to check with your boss, but it was likely you’d be going as well.

Rosie mutes your mic, “Are you almost done?”

“Not really,” She sighs against your body. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Rosie pouts, but she does something you were expecting. She slightly rolls her hips. It’s subtle, but it’s enough.

“Chaeng,” You deadpan, eyes still focused on the screen.

“What?” There it is. The tilt in her voice, that if it was anybody else, they’d fall for her feigned innocence.

But it wasn’t anybody else. It was you.

“Don’t,” Rosie rolls her hips against you again, this time, perfectly against your cock. “Chaeng.”

“I’m just trying to get comfortable, you’re not exactly ergonomic,” Rosie shrugs, rocking her hips against you once again.

Your cock stirs at the movement. You take a deep breath, refocusing yourself as your team continues the quest.

Tae asks you a question, forcing you to reach around Rosie to unmute yourself. “Yeah I’ll check that.”

When you mute once again, Rosie asks, “How quiet can you be?”

“What?” The question catches you off guard because Rosie’s standing up and unmutes you. She turns to smirk and drops to her knees in between your legs. Your eyes widen, shocked at her boldness. You’re about to say something when she holds a finger to her lips.

“Fuck,” You groan into the mic when Rosie slips her hand underneath your sweats, wrapping her hand around your half-hard cock.

“What happened?” You barely hear someone ask.

“Nothing,” You grit out, eyes watching Rosie push your sweats down just enough to free your cock. You let out a hiss as the cool air of your apartment hits your skin. “I’m good.”

She starts off slow, moving a loose fist up and down your length as the blood in your body rushes south. By the time you’re fully erect, she lets go, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Rosie’s face lights up, and you know that look. It spells trouble with a capital T, and when she stands up in between your legs, pulling her (your) boxers down, you have a clear picture of what’s going to come next.

It was meant to be a joke when you mentioned it on FaceTime while they were touring in Australia. You had this fantasy of her keeping your cock warm while you gamed. She asked if you actually wanted that, knowing how much you took gaming with your friends seriously. You shrugged, off-handedly commenting that you thought it would be hot.

You didn’t go into much detail of how you envisioned it. It was just a fantasy, but when Rosie turns around, her shapely bottom waving in your face, this was so much better than what you imagined.

Rosie mutes you again, her face slightly turned to you, “Still want to play your game?”

It’s a challenge. A very dangerous one that you don’t know the outcome of, but you’d bet everything to find out. Even if that meant you have to fuck Rosie against your desk for being this needy.

“Yeah,” Your voice comes out hoarse, hardly recognizable in your ears.

“Fine.” One hand rests on your desk as the other reaches for your cock, angling it as she takes all of you in one smooth move.

“Jesus Chaeng,” You nearly drop your controller as one hand shoots to her hip, gripping tightly as her walls squeeze around your cock. It knocks the wind out of you, feeling just how wet and warm she is.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Rosie slightly pants, leaning on your desk as you feel her walls stretch to accommodate your size.

“I don’t know,” You pathetically moan out as she sits up straight against your chest.

“Keep playing,” Rosie unmutes you before slowly rocking her hips.

You don’t know how the fuck you were supposed to focus when she feels so fucking good wrapped around you, but you push through.

You tune in to what your friends are talking about, ignoring the small mewls Rosie lets out as her hips move in a circle on top of you. You try to be engaged, commenting here and there, but it’s hard to care what they’re saying.

You close your eyes, dropping your head against the chair when Rosie lifts her hips along your length before dropping her weight against you.

“Fuck,” You mutter, but it’s loud enough for your friends to hear. They ask if everything’s alright and you immediately snap back to the screen as Rosie repeats the movement again and again and again. “Yeah, I’m fine,” You grit out after she lands on a particularly hard thrust, walls tightening as she takes a breath.

You’d give yourself a pat on a back for how far you’ve made it. The amount of self-control you have when it comes to your girlfriend is usually very low. You don’t need much convincing when it comes to having sex, but you want to hold out as much as possible to see where it takes you.

It’s not everyday Rosie uses your cock to fuck herself. She has, but that’s usually on a bed or in your car, where she has your full, undivided attention.

Rosie brings your hands against her lower stomach, resting the controller against her as she undulates her hips. Any vibration from the game has her body reacting, which by default, you reap the benefits.

Rosie reaches forward, the mic turning off once again, “I’m going to cum,” She moans out.

You didn’t think she’d get there that fast, but it is hot to get fucked while your friends are oblivious to what’s going on. She loves performing for thousands of people at a time, but you know her favorite performances are for you and you alone.

“Go ahead baby,” You murmur, eyes watching where you’re connected, her hips hypnotizing you as they move. “Make yourself cum since you couldn’t wait for me.”

The words set her off as her body quivers, shaking on your lap as her orgasm hits. Her head snaps back and she holds onto the arm rests as she tries to shut her thighs at the pressure inside her body. The only obstacle is your hands and controller dropping, keeping her spread open as you feel a sudden wetness cover your sweats.

“Did you just squirt baby?” Your lips ghost over her skin, sweetly kissing her behind the ear.

“No,” Rosie mumbles weakly, resting her head on your shoulder as she catches her breath.

“No? Then why are my clothes soaked?” You thrust up from your chair, knocking the wind out of her as she lets out a filthy moan.

“You came,” She moans as you rock up again, enjoying the sensation.

You click your tongue, shaking your head as you decide you can’t hold back any longer. Keeping her on top of you, her walls snug and hot, you unmute for the last time, “Ayo, I gotta go.”

Rosie tries to stand, but your arms around her keep her still, filled.

“Dude what? We’re nowhere near done,” Jungkook whines and you roll your eyes.

“I realized I didn’t finish something. I can pass on the shield. I’ll log on again sometime this weekend,” You say curtly without giving them a chance to respond, quickly exiting the program before tossing your controller on the desk.

You stand, easily taking your girlfriend with you as you push her forward, folding her against your desk as she rests on her elbows, back perfectly arched, keeping your bodies connected.

“Baby,” Rosie whines, your cock still nestled deep inside her.

“Jesus fuck Chaeng,” You pull your hips back, looking at your cock covered in her slick. “You’re a fucking menace.”

You snap your hips forward, groaning as your cock fills her.

“How else was I supposed to get your attention?” Rosie moans, pushing her ass towards you to take you even deeper. “You chose a game over me.”

Your hands grip her waist, stopping any movement from her as you just breathe since both of you know what’s coming next. You lean forward, kissing her head, “Don’t act like that. You know you still have all of my attention.”

You draw your hips backwards, but before you thrust, Rosie speaks, “Then fuck me like I do.”

Never one to not obey Rosie, you do just that.

You thrust into her experimentally, getting your bearings before you completely lose it since it has been two weeks too long and the amount of dirty texts and pictures you’ve exchanged is never enough.

“Baby please,” Rosie begs, head slightly turning before nodding.

The control snaps and you’re thrusting wildly, her hips slamming against the desk, before she could react.

One of the best parts, aside from you care deeply for and can genuinely share your thoughts and feelings with, is that Rosie always welcomes being fucked hard. Sure you’ve had sex at a much tamer, slower pace, which is just as great, but it’s the best when it’s been a while and the only thing either of you could focus on is tearing each other apart together.

“Missed you so much,” Rosie whines, doing what she can to meet your thrusts. It isn’t much since you’re practically nailing her against the furniture.

“Missed you too baby,” You groan as her walls start to clamp down to keep you inside.

One hand lets go of her waist, raising it slightly before your palm makes contact with her ass cheek. She lets out a moan, pressing her face into her arms, slightly embarrassed by how her body reacts to the pain. You watch her skin slowly turn red, spurring you on even more.

You feel your peaks coming soon just based on how much easier it is. Her pussy’s slickness lets you slide in and out with ease, but there’s another thing that Rosie loves and it’s how vocal you can get.

Praise is all around her, but the praise she adores the most is when you tell her yourself.

Your hand grips her waist again before you let your thoughts fall freely from your mouth.

Fuck you feel so good baby.

Couldn’t wait for me huh? Needed my cock so badly.

You look so pretty, letting me fuck this pussy.

You were so hot taking me while I played.

Bounce on my cock next time, let my friends hear what a good little slut you are.

Rosie screams as her orgasm rips through her body taking you with her. Your hips stutter into her and your vision goes white as you hit your climax. You couldn’t pull out since she was doing everything to keep you in.

“Holy shit,” She moans out, back tensing as you feel her release over your cock, making a filthy mess as you paint her insides with your cum.

You immediately wrap your arms around her stomach, pulling her into your chest as you groan out the remainder of your orgasm.

It takes you a minute, but you collapse on your chair, the wheels slightly rolling backwards while Rosie falls flat on top of your desk.

The sight of your girlfriend, fucked out, panting, has you questioning why you didn’t give your attention in the first place. You feel a second wind coming as the smallest bit of cum dribbles out in between her lower lips.

“Can you go again?” You ask after a few minutes, staring as more of your cum falls out. You almost reach out to push it back in, but you spare her the overstimulation.

Rosie stands straight before turning to you. She bends to kiss you softly on the lips, sitting on your lap, and circling her arms around your neck.

“Quick nap?” Rosie offers, peppering kisses over your jawline, which of course, immediately gets you worked up.

“Fine,” You pout like a petulant child.

You swoop your arms underneath her body, making sure you have a strong grip before standing. You literally have BLACKPINK’s lead singer in your arms, and any physical damage to her would automatically fall on you.

Rosie giggles as she holds on, telling you not to drop her or the girls would come after you. You roll your eyes, knowing it’s an empty—sort of. The only member you’re actually scared of is Jisoo, while the other two are like the little sisters you never wanted.

Once you gently lay your girlfriend down, you reach for the bottoms she was wearing, tossing it to her. You change into a different pair of sweats, noticing how much of a mess was actually made before joining her back in bed.

“Hi,” You whisper, a small smile tugging at your lips as you stare at your girlfriend. You still couldn’t believe she chose you to date out of everyone else.

“Hi yourself,” Rosie smiles, burying her face into your chest. “I missed you.” It comes out soft, shy even, because feelings are still hard for her to put into words.

“I missed you too,” You bring your lips to her forehead.

There’s something else you want to tell her, something you’ve been holding in for a couple months at this point. You want to say it now, but when you hear light snores, you know it’s not the time.

You say it anyway, “I love you.”

#blackpink smut #blackpink rose #blackpink park chaeyoung #rosie smut #park chaeyoung smut #park chaeyoung

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mandoalorian · 1 year

Text

taste of heaven

Joel Miller x F!Reader [smut]

Summary: You and Joel leave the quarantine zone in search of some medicine, when you come across a variant of the Cordyceps, taking life in the form of a pretty red flower. Whilst exposure to this mutated fungus doesn’t prove fatal, it does have some lasting effects.

Warnings: explicit, no minors. Sex pollen fic, exhibitionism, f!masturbation, fingering, tit play, degradation, jealousy, lots of begging, yearning/pining, implied age gap, mention of drugs/reader being drugged, cursing

Authors note: Please reblog to spread this fic around and it’s not showing up in tags! My requests & commissions are officially OPEN again! If you have any questions drop me a private message.

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'Nature vs. nurture' has been a discussion which had dominated centuries of wonder, and even in the year 2023, when the world had been wiped clean from humanity and only the hardened walked the streets, it was something that still preyed on your mind. The theory could be applied in many aspects; but one that you couldn’t quite navigate no matter how hard you tried, was how you had lasted this long living in a war-torn world. You often reflected on how you had kept yourself so clean and away from infected and bad people. You figured that for the first few years you had just gotten lucky. Your state was notified of the Cordyceps Infection before it hit and so you were given the opportunity to escape your city early. They were already building Quarantine Zone’s and conscripting Fedra military in August.

Until Christmas 2003, you stuck by your family. They were with you, alive, for the first three months of the outbreak. By this point, the Cordyceps infection wasn’t exactly seen as a ‘permanent’ thing and the government had yet to give up on finding a cure. One by one you lost your parents, grandparents and siblings, but not before you found solitude in a Quarantine Zone northwest of Rhode Island.

Those fragments of peace and liberty lasted a whole three years before Fedra wiped the town clean, and you had no choice but to evacuate. You headed towards Massachusetts, stopping by different QZ's, meeting new folk along your way.

But nothing was permanent. Ten years ago you found a home in Boston Quarantine Zone.

It wasn't a nice place, full of selfish people doing what they needed to do to get by. Rats on every corner, literal and personified, and so you did your best to stay out of trouble.

You’d take on little jobs and run errands to earn ration cards, and you would follow Fedra's orders to a tee. If there was such thing as a 'golden girl' in this world... well, that would be you.

And then you met Joel.

Joel wasn't a good guy, and he made sure you knew that when you first laid eyes on him. He was ruthless; a killer, and the type of person you should’ve stayed away from. You’d survived this long by keeping away from guys like him and yet, you found yourself drawn to him. There was something about his rugged handsomeness and dedication to survival that appealed to you. When you first met him, you noted that he was a man of a few words. He rarely offered you even a glance and if he did give care to give you his time of day, it would be nothing less than to mumble a warning to you.

It took Joel a while to warm up to you. The man seemed more than satisfied with his partner, Tess, than to even want to give you even just a bit of the minimal attention that you craved. You were unsure of Tess. She was very beautiful, with shoulder-length wavy hair and bright green eyes. You wondered if she and Joel were anything serious, or if they were merely just friends, or perhaps something in between. The pair were inseparable and often participated in smuggling runs together, or were hired as bounty hunters.

It was a smokey grey morning when Joel entered the makeshift QZ pharmacy where Fedra had you working. His dark eyes appeared sunken in and tired, a deep frown crossed his lips.

“I need fentanyl, morphine, oxycodone... something to take away pain.”

He was avoidant of eye contact, looking uncomfortable to even have to ask you of this.

Your jaw slackened slightly and you furrowed your eyebrows together at the man's request. “Are you- are you okay?”

Joel scoffed and rolled his tongue over his lower lip. “It’s not for me.” He snapped back, already becoming irritated that you were questioning his request. It had nothing to do with you.

Unamused by his attitude, you decided on shutting him down immediately. “I don't. We don't sell opioids here.” you glanced away from the man, feeling your cheeks become hot under his stern gaze. Now he was making eye contact and he knew exactly how to intimidate you. If Joel was anything, he was determined and if Joel wanted something he made sure he’d get it, no matter the means or consequences.

“Fedra don't permit anything as... strong as that to be traded in the QZ.”

Joel grunted and slammed his fists on the cashier desk. “Don't play coy with me, girl,” he sneered, hissing through his teeth. “can’t have been the first person to come in and ask for this. You have to know where I can get it from.”

You swallowed, looking around the empty pharmacy for answers. “I know someone,” you said timidly. “Well, know of someone.”

“Take me to them.” Joel demanded, without missing a beat. His desperation was becoming clear.

Seeing your hesitation, Joel brought his fingers down to the pistol that he'd stuffed in the back of his jeans, having been used to being able to make a sufficient threat. But then, before making any rash judgement, he stopped himself and placed a hand on the desk in front of you. He couldn't hold you at gunpoint. You were sweet, kind, and soft. In the many years of knowing him, you had been nothing but nice to Joel. It would be wrong to scare you like that.

Adjusting his composure, Joel took a deep breath and let his body relax. He could ease up around you. You wouldn't even hurt a fly; let alone pull any stunts on someone like him.

“Please." he said quietly, his brown eyes now appearing to be more pleasing than harsh. He could read you like an open book and he knew exactly how to wrap himself around you. You huffed out a sigh and contemplated giving him the information that he so desired.

“There's a guy I've heard Simone talk about. He's housed up on the outskirts of Boston, about a three-hour hike from here. He's her dealer. He'll have what you're looking for, but Joel…" you reluctantly placed your hand down on top of the desk, next to his. “It's in Fairmount. But I don't feel comfortable leaving the QZ. I could get in trouble. And if this is for you— or your own personal dealing, then—”

And for the first time in weeks, Joel's lips curled into a small smile. He moved his hand over yours and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“You'll be okay,” he promised, and from the longing look in his eyes, you believed him.

“Can I ask, who is the medicine for?” you interrogated shyly after a few moments of silence. Joel's rough hands were still atop yours.

Joel broke eye contact with you. If he wanted you to be fully on board, then he had to start being honest. “Tess.”

“Is she okay?” you became alarmed, moving your hand away from Joel and already beginning to grab your supplies for the journey.

“She got into a fight with Robert and his men, she's badly beaten up. She just needs something strong to help her fight through it. She'll be okay. She's tough.” Joel wanted to curse himself for offering you so much information, knowing that Tess would've been mortified if she'd learned that he was telling you all of this. But he really needed your help.

“We best get going then,” you said, grabbing your rucksack from behind the countertop.

For a brief second, Joel admired your dedication to helping Tess. It bewildered him a little, knowing that Tess didn't exactly care enough about you to help you the same. Tess often muttered snide words about your inability to shoot a gun or your law-abiding attitude. She hated the way you would sink under authority, but Joel understood it. He understood that everyone had their different ways of surviving, and as long as it was working, then he wasn't one to judge. But right now, that didn't matter. Joel was just thankful that you'd agreed to go with him.

———

Somewhere along the journey, you noticed a shrub peppered with four-petaled flours, painted red with golden pollen in the centre. You’d never seen anything like them before, and you had studied horticulture a few years back in Rhode Island QZ. You found yourself magnetised by their beauty, and with Joel a few yards back from you, you decided to take some time to analyse the plant. Picking one from the bush, you rubbed the soft petals between your fingers and let the grains of pollen sink into your skin. When Joel got nearer, you stuffed the flower in your jacket pocket and continued walking alongside him.

You were about an hour away from Fairmount when you started to get dizzy. You weren’t hallucinating but your perception of your surroundings had certainly changed. The road ahead seemed short and thick and upon the horizon was a glowing pink line.

“Do you see that?” You asked Joel, squinting your eyes as you extended your hand to point to the horizon.

Joel tried following your moving index finger but shook his head. “You’re pointing at everything and nothing. C’mon let's keep going.”

It started out with a burning sensation, your loins ignited and blazed inside of you. You tried to regulate your breathing and found yourself slowly losing concentration on whatever Joel was saying. You wanted to pay attention, you really did. You loved his voice, it was like honey and velvet and there was something about that damned Texan accent of his… you didn’t notice it before, but you were certainly noticing it now. Your nipples felt tender as they hardened and poked out from underneath your shirt and you silently prayed that they weren’t visible through your denim jacket. The air around you was suddenly humid and thick and moist. Moist… you let out a small whimper and stopped dead in your tracks.

Joel stopped too. “Are you okay?” he asked, observing your sudden reaction to the forbidden flower.

“I just need a second to catch my breath.” You exhaled, closing your eyes and desperately trying to cling onto oxygen. Joel glanced back at the trail you’d both been walking along. There had hardly been an incline.

Joel gave you a few moments and when you finally opened your eyes, you offered him a queasy yet confident smile.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Mhm,” you mumbled. “Let’s keep going. Nearly there now. What were you saying about the—ah, fuck.” You stopped again, feeling a sudden wetness in your panties. Bolts of electricity were shooting up and down your body and within just a matter of seconds, you felt the primal need for something to fill you.

You looked at Joel and then looked away.

Joel said your name softly, drawled it out slowly like he was trying not to spook you. You refused to make eye contact with him, looking down at your feet.

“Don’t lie to me,” Joel said. He placed a hand on your arm and you flinched away from him. “What’s going on?”

You bit your lip, pressing your thighs together hoping for some kind of relief to the ache between your legs. You’re looked around your surroundings, finding a large rock just a few acres away. Ignoring Joel, you sat down and he followed you on your tail.

This was embarrassing. This was so embarrassing.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” you admitted, dabbing at the beads of sweat that laced your hairline. “I feel hot and heavy and it’s hard to breathe, I feel like my clothes are constraining me and I’m… I feel…”

Joel crooked his head to one side.

“Joel,” you whispered. “Fuck Joel, fuck…” you hissed through your teeth. “Joel, Joel…” you panted his name like it was a sacred prayer. Joel would’ve been lying if he said hearing you chant his name like that didn’t turn him on.

Extending your arms, you reached out towards the man. He obliged, coming closer and kneeling down in front of you. He placed both of his hands on your thighs to illustrate comfort and gazed into your eyes.

“What is it?” he quizzed further.

You nervously swallowed and reached into the pocket of your denim jacket before bringing out the now crumpled-up flower you’d picked earlier. The pale yellow pollen slipped between your fingers and you dropped the flower on the floor. Upon seeing it, Joel’s dark eyes widened and he leaned away from you.

“No, no, no,” you begged him, opening your legs and pulling him back into you, this time holding him as close as could be. “Fuck Joel, I— I don’t know— I don’t know what’s happening,” you squeaked, tears filling your eyes.

“Oh, sweet girl,” he shushed, but there was no denying the slight air of worry sprawled across his face. “What have you done?”

“I think it’s the flower… I just picked it up earlier because I thought it was pretty and, figured I could make a hair clip out of it or—“

“I’ve heard stories about those flowers,” Joel shook his head. “They’re a mutated form of Cordyceps… a variant that’s been growing like ordinary fungus, in environments, masking themselves as plants. I’ve never seen them before but… that’s what I’ve heard they look like.”

“Holy shit,” you whispered. “Am I infected?”

“No! No, no girl. You’re fine. You’re gonna be fine. These plants… they’re known to have a primal effect on their host. They want their host to reproduce so they release endorphins and, I… don’t know the science behind it but,”

“Joel,” you whispered. “Joel…” your voice trailed off, bringing your hands up to his cheeks as you cradled his face. Your thumbs brushed over his stubble which adorned his jaw and you admired the little missing patch of hair there that you’d never noticed before. “I’m fucking horny.” you breathed into admittance.

If you weren’t so worked up right now, you would’ve barked out a laugh at how ridiculous those words sounded leaving your lips. Joel swallowed, his adam’s apple bopping up and down in his throat. You licked your lips and waited for him to say something— anything. But he stayed quiet, only the slightest movement in his hand as he brought it to the inside of your thigh.

You tossed your head back at the gesture and Joel felt his cock throb in his pants at the sight of you coming undone over him. He noted the vein in your neck and the way your perfect lips parted in an O shape as he trailed his other hand up your waist and along your torso to the hem of your jacket.

“We don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to… I’ll be okay if you just give me some privacy and I can… I can… you know,”

“You need me and you know it,” Joel said gruffly, peeling back your jacket and letting it pool into a discarded pile on the floor. You already felt an air of relief wash over you as you lost an item of clothing. You hummed and leaned in closer to him, pressing your breasts which were now tight against your shirt into his face. “Say it.”

“I need you Joel,” you obliged. “Fuck, I need you so bad.”

“Tell me what exactly you need, baby girl,” Joel requested, bringing his hand to your breasts and massaging them through the material of your shirt. He pinched his finger over your protruding nipples and circled around them. He imagined nibbling it and sucking on them, and his mouth began to water.

“I need you, need your cock to fill me up. I want to wrap myself around you, tight, oh God, please,” you begged, grinding on the rock beneath you. The friction between the rock and jeans have you something, but it wasn’t enough. Joel discarded his jacket and unbuttoned his flannel shirt, throwing them to one side on the floor.

“You want me that bad huh?” Joel chuckled, reaching down to his belt and unbuckling it. With a clink, that was on the floor too.

“Need,” you corrected him. “This— this is fucking— fuck— I should be embarrassed.”

“But you’re not, because behind that sweet, good girl persona, you’re just a dirty, unfulfilled whore.” Joel seethed. If you didn’t know any better, you might’ve thought that was an insult, but his degradation only spurred you on more and you let out a moan.

“Your whore,” you told him with a smile. You stood up and pulled down your jeans so you were now sat on the rock wearing nothing but your t-shirt and panties. Your legs still open, you dropped your hand to your crotch and started to rub yourself through the material of your panties.

“Ah-ah,” Joel chastised, taking your hand away from your aching pussy and interlocking his fingers with yours. “Look how wet you are. From now on, only I’m allowed to touch you, okay?”

“Mm, sounds like you want me just as much as I want you,” you teased him, even surprising yourself at that little comment which escaped your lips.

“I do,” Joel answered, bringing your hand down to his own crotch, allowing you to feel his bulge that was straining through his jeans. As if that wasn’t proof enough.

“What about Tess?” you couldn’t help but ask. Even while you were in heat, you found yourself thinking about what Joel and Tess got up to. What exactly their ‘partnership’ amounted to.

Joel smirked and pressed a kiss into the crook of your neck. “You jealous?” he mumbled against your skin. The low octave of his voice sent vibrations through your body. He licked a stripe down to your collar bone.

“Nuh-uh,” you shook your head.

Every touch of his left a stain of fire.

“I think you are,” Joel teased. “You get jealous thinking about me fucking Tess— bending her over and taking her from behind.”

You groaned. “Fuck you,” you whined, running your fingers through his greying brown hair.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” Joel chuckled.

Then, something caught your attention. You were drugged— ‘under the influence’— if you wanted a nicer way to put it. You wanted Joel but you had that damn mutated flower to blame, and yet Joel… this was raw. This was all him. He had nothing to blame other than himself because the truth is, he’s wanted you from the moment he laid eyes on you.

“I fuck Tess,” he announced and you felt your face sour at his declaration. “But I wish it was you every damn time.”

You huffed as you let him take off your t-shirt. His eyes widened when he saw you weren’t even wearing a bra.

“Somehow I doubt that,” you muttered with a roll of your eyes.

“Let me prove it to you.” Joel replied, this time his words holding the utmost meaning.

Joel unzipped his jeans and pulled them down to his knees, alongside his boxer shorts, revealing his long, thick cock. It was perfect, the dark pink head already leaking with milky white trails of precum.

“You’re huge.” you couldn’t help but gasp out, making Joel laugh. You immediately eased at the sound of his chuckle. It wasn’t teasing or fake, but it was genuine and authentic. Dare you say, cute.

But the little butterflies that fluttered in the pit of your stomach were short-lived. Your loins ached even more just at the mere sight of him and you eagerly ditched your panties within seconds. Leaning back, you made yourself as comfortable as you could be atop of the rock and spread your legs for him. What a sight to behold, you were.

Joel admired your glistening folds as he eye-fucked your entire naked body. You brought your hands to your tits and began to play with them as you let him observe you.

“Please Joel,” you begged. “Let me feel you.”

Joel hovered over you and pressed his cock between your folds, rubbing the tip up and down, separating you. Obscene and lewd wet noises filled the quiet atmosphere as Joel gathered your juices on his manhood.

“Such a pretty pussy,” Joel sighed, before bringing a thumb to your clit. He began to draw circles over the bundle of nerves, causing your body to jolt with the overbearing rush of pleasure. You knew you wouldn’t last long and you could feel your orgasm begin to creep upon you. But you needed more.

“Fuck me Joel, I need you inside of me.”

“Like this?” Joel asked and with one smooth motion, Joel thrusted his cock inside of you, your wet walls squeezing around him. “Oh shit.” he croaked out, taking a moment to adjust himself to the ethereal feeling of you wrapped around him.

“Yes, just like that,” you praised. “Move now, please.”

For the first time, Joel followed your instruction without any tormenting or teasing. He’d wanted this just as bad as you did. Joel rocked his hips into you, building up a rhythm that you just couldn’t resist. His movements began to set out a pace but in time he quickened himself, focusing on getting closer to his high as he felt your own body quiver and shake underneath him. You knew he was close when his thrusts became sloppy and he chanted your name under his breath.

Joel delved his face into your neck and you screamed as your climax came crushing down. Joel felt it too— the effect of your orgasm and what it had done to your body. Without any warning, Joel shot ropes of his cum into your pussy before slowly pulling out of you. The warmth of his seed painting your walls was enough to help you come down from your high.

Joel rolled off you and laid next to you, atop of the rock.

The sky was growing dark now and nightfall was approaching.

“Thank you.” you whispered when you regained your breath. You let yourself have a few moments to try and come to terms with what had just happened. By far, the best experience of your life.

Joel leaned over onto his side and looked at you, feeling completely enamoured with your beauty. You were still flushed and sweating but the effects of the flower had worn off now, and you were doing much better.

“Before, when I said I thought of you when I was with Tess… I wasn’t lying,” Joel admitted. “I don’t want you to think…”

You smiled, tangling your fingers into his hair and pushing his face down to meet yours. You offered him a soft, tranquil kiss and Joel moaned at the affection. Your lips were so soft, exactly how he’d imagined. If he could, he’d kiss them forever.

“Is she your girlfriend?” you asked after pulling away.

“It’s not like that at all,” Joel replied. “We just… we’re there when we need each other, y’know?”

You nodded your head silently.

“I don’t want this to be a one-time thing,” Joel announced, feeling a rush of nerves and anxiety race through his body. “I mean, not the Cordyceps flower. And not just the sex. But I want to see you again, after today. And I understand if you don’t feel the same way— I know, we’re so different and I ain’t a good guy. Maybe a girl like you would be better on your own, but damn it, I like you and—“

“I like you too,” you cut him off. “Maybe when we get back to Boston, you can take me out on a date?”

Joel grinned, a dimple appearing in his right cheek. There was those butterflies again.

“Alrighty then.�� Joel beamed and you pressed another kiss to his lips. “It’s a date.”

-------

taglist: @januarycolor @anapnovo-blog @pardebellesnuits @mi0o@supervengerslock@alitaar@bigpepperpicker@pedrostories@pedroprinces@

#pedro pascal #joel miller #the last of us #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal x you #smut #tlou

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antiquarianfics · 10 months

Text

Sun to Me

If there is one thing Bucky Barnes remembers about his mother, it is that she told him to find someone who plants flowers in the darkest parts of him. If there is one thing Bucky Barnes knows about Reader, it is that they grow him to the clouds.

A/N: Okay, so. (1) Thank you all so much for the incredible response to my last fic, "Timeless." It's given me the motivation to keep writing fics for y'all. (2) Apparently my inspiration strictly comes from music; thus this Zach Bryan "Sun to Me" inspired fic. Enjoy! Genre: Fluff / WC: 1,049 Pairing: Bucky Barnes x G!N Reader Rating: PG / Warning(s): N/A Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.

You do not have permission to copy or repost my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and reblog.

---

Children rarely grasp the concept of marriage when they're little. They understand that their parents get married because they love each other, and that's about as far as it goes. Children rarely grasp the concept of different types of love when they're little. They understand that their parents love each other, and they understand that their parents love them, but that's about as far as it goes. Bucky Barnes was no exception to this human truth when he was young. He remembers being 5 or 6--lifetimes ago--telling his mother he was going to marry her. He loved his ma: you marry the people you love.

Winnifred had gently taken her son in her arms, sitting on their solid living room couch.

"My darling boy," she had said, "you can't marry me. I'm your ma."

Bucky had made a face, protesting. "I love you, though!" He had argued with his mother. "You said people marry people they love."

"I did say that," Winnifred agreed, "but the way I love your father is different than the way I love you. You don't get it now, but one day, you'll meet someone wonderful. When you meet that person, you'll understand what I mean."

Bucky had made a face, scrunching his eyebrows together and biting his lip in confusion.

"James," his mother had said, "you'll find someone someday, somewhere that plants flowers in the darkest parts of you--someone who grows you to the clouds. You'll find someone who loves you the way I love your dad. I promise, sweetheart."

---

Bucky wakes to your alarm blaring--your third, if he counted right. He had woken up three times now to the blaring alarm that you have snoozed just as many times, not stirring more than you have to to pause the incessant noise. Bucky lie in your shared bed, staring at the ceiling and sure he would be unable to fall back asleep for a fourth time. Tiredly, he looked over to the digital clock on his nightstand, reading the taunting 5:32 A.M. in the aggressive red. Running a hand over his tired face, he is about to pull himself out of bed and start his day, but he looks beside him first.

There you are, fast asleep, ignoring every attempt your alarm makes to rouse you. He briefly thinks you're going to oversleep, but he also knows you set alarms earlier than you need to wake up to account for each time you hit snooze.

You're sprawled across your side of the bed, your legs tangling with his and arms tied around your pillow. It's only then that he realizes his legs have gone numb from being pressed beneath your own. He can't bring himself to care, though.

As he watches you sleep--your chest slowly rising and falling as you breathe--he smiles softly. He decides right then that anything he could possibly choose to do at 5:32 A.M. is not nearly as appealing as lying with his partner.

Bucky then rolls onto his side, letting his left arm wrap around you, pulling you close. He breathes in the smell of your shampoo, and he thinks it's something floral. The smell reminds him of his mother--a lifetime ago--telling him to find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of him. It's funny, he thinks, that a smell could pull out such a memory that the brainwashing and science experimenting had fought to erase completely, but he is glad it did.

He misses his mother for a moment. He had lost her so early on, but he remembers how he loved her, how she loved him. He remembers then how his mother had assured him the way they loved each other would be different than how he loves you. He can't help but laugh softly to himself. You were right, Ma, he thinks, I understand now.

You really are something special. You are the kind of person he thinks his mother would have loved. Your kind disposition, your intelligence, your strength: just you. You are the kind of person, too, that took his history, his scars, and his damaged heart and sowed a plentiful garden. You planted flowers in his soul where there had been thorns. You watered the sprouts every night to allow them to eventually bloom. You were there for every nightmare, every court appearance, every fight. You were there to pick up the pieces when he felt most broken. You were there to grow him to the clouds.

He hopes he has been the same for you.

A fourth alarm starts blaring, screaming for you to wake up. The fourth alarm takes the title as the final alarm as you clumsily grab your cellphone, looking at it just enough to turn it off. You drop your phone next to you on the bed before turning around in your lover's arms.

"Mornin', handsome," you say before letting out a yawn.

"Good morning, Doll," he replies easily, gently swiping a stray hair away from your eyes with his finger. "You know, you slept through 3 alarms this morning," he says with a teasing (albeit slightly annoyed) tone.

You groan. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Gave me time to just hold you."

You hum happily, leaning forward to softly kiss his lips. He happily reciprocates. When the two of you part, he smiles at you.

"I remembered something."

"Was it actually 4 alarms?" You ask playfully.

Bucky chuckles and leans his forehead against yours.

"Nah, it was just 3," he assures you. "I remembered something my ma told me."

"Oh!" You exclaim, a little surprised. "That's an early memory!"

He grins. "Yeah, it is."

"So? What'd she tell you?"

"She told me that somewhere, someday, I'd find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of me. Someone who grows me to the clouds. I was, like, 6, I think, so it made no sense when she said it to me."

You smile softly, letting your hand cup his face tenderly. You don't say anything, though, opting to let him share his newfound memory at his own pace.

"But I get it now. It took a literal century, but I get it now. You're the person Ma told me I'd find."

"Can I tell you a secret, Buck?"

"Anything, Doll."

"I love you, too."

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader fluff #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky x g!n reader #bucky x male!reader #bucky x female!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #winter soldier #the winter soldier #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n

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nahoney22 · 5 months

Note

My Honeyyy, it's me again🥰

I have another request if that's okay. I was wondering if you could write something with Tech x female reader? The bad batch go out to like a casino or the beach or something to have fun and at first Tech feels out of place, but then reader helps him come out of his shell and have fun and enjoy the day? Pre-TBB era and including the other three boys as well if that's okay.❤️

Love you so much❤️🫶🏻

At the Seashore

Tech X F!Reader

word count: 1.9k

A trip to the beach was well needed amount the Batch but thrown out of his comfort, Tech is not best pleased. So what can you do to help and will some feelings be shared?

warnings: safe for work, female reader, friends to lovers, interrupting and brotherly bickerings but mostly fluff 😊

authors note: thank you for another request darling! Sorry for the wait and enjoy 🤍

Under the scorching sun and with the soft white sand beneath your toes, you recline on the sunbed, savoring the serene sound of tropical waves caressing the shore. But amidst this idyllic scene, the unmistakable sounds of Hunter, Crosshair, Tech, and Wrecker engaged in bickering pierces the tranquility. And your brief moment of peace.

Scarcely two minutes into your well-deserved relaxation, your name resonates through the air. Despite your initial attempt to feign ignorance as if you didn’t hear them, you can't escape the shadow cast over you. With a deep sigh, you lift your shades to rest on your forehead, and your gaze meets Tech's. You tilt your head up. "Is there a problem?"

"Wrecker insists on digging a hole," Tech replies matter-of-factly.

You blink in response. "And?"

"I fail to discern the merit of excavating sand," Tech states plainly. It's obvious that Tech, out of his element at the beach, struggles to grasp the essence of relaxation and enjoyment. He's far removed from his usual domain of gadgets and intricate machinery, unaccustomed to the simple pleasures of leisure.

You offer a reassuring smile. "It's just a bit of fun, Tech." You slip your shades back over your eyes, reclining once more with your arms outstretched beneath your head. "Why don't you try building a sandcastle or something?" You gesture dismissively, but Tech responds with a disdainful scoff.

"That would be a squandering of my skills and time," he retorts, folding his arms across his chest and surveying the beach for something, anything that might pique his interest. Yet, it appears that nothing does.

With Tech's persistent presence and the likelihood of having little time for relaxation, you decide to make the best of the situation by involving him. Sitting up, you ponder for a moment and then propose, "How about a swim?"

As you look Tech over, you notice he's wearing swimming trunks and has begrudgingly left his usual attire behind. It's a rare sight to see him out of his usual Tech gear, and you appreciate the change, even if his expression lacks enthusiasm. "Perhaps," he replies, "although swimming does not particularly interest me either."

Determined to find an activity that suits both of you, you stand up, slip on your sandals, and throw on a beach shirt over your swimsuit. You beckon for Tech to follow.

“Where are we going?”

"You'll see. If swimming, digging holes, or building sandcastles don't appeal to you, maybe this will be more to your liking."

Tech watches you with intrigue as you walk off, stepping over Wreckers hole that he was starting to dig with Hunter all the while Crosshair lazed on the sand with not a care in the world. But, Tech follows.

On the way, you both made small talk. You and Tech got on well but not to the point where conversations naturally flowed. Usually your chats are to do with battle plans and what he needed you to get when you offered to do supply runs. So, it surprised you a little when he seemed genuinely interested in how you were and finding things lately.

The lively chatter however dwindles as your destination comes into view.

Before you, a rocky beach stretches out, and as you stand, hands on hips, your initial excitement wanes upon witnessing Tech's thoroughly unimpressed expression. "What's wrong?"

"You've brought us to yet another beach," Tech observes flatly.

"Yeah, but this one's different. It's got rocks," you point out, hoping to pique his interest.

Tech adjusts his goggles and gives you a skeptical look. "And you believe this would be more beneficial for me?"

Exasperated, you seize Tech's hand before he can protest and pull him forward. Your footsteps crunch against the scattered stones, shells, and pebbles littering the beach's southern side.

"There's a lot you can discover among these rocks," you explain, stooping to pick up a rock and handing it to him.

Tech remains unconvinced. "I'm acquainted with the properties of most rocks and stones, but I fail to see the amusement or fascination in this," he remarks. However, noticing your hand still held by his own, he swiftly apologises after you ask for your hand back and releases it, displaying a faintly bashful expression that you decide to overlook as you move forward. Just for now.

Undeterred, you pick up another, slightly larger rock, and with a gesture, ask for the rock again.

After he promptly releases it, you manage to crack the rock open against another, revealing its inner properties. "See?" you say, hoping to spark his curiosity. "Can you identify what this is?" You point to the intricate details within.

Tech examines it closely, his interest visibly piqued. "I'm not entirely certain… I've never encountered anything like this before."

Encouraged by his intrigue, you gesture toward the expanse of rocks around you. "Well, there are many more to explore and learn about. I assume you brought your datapad with you?"

He responds with a subtle scoff, reaching into his trunk shorts' pocket and producing the datapad with a casual wave. "I never go anywhere without it."

As hours pass, a part of you yearns to return to the sandy shores and witness the inevitable impressive hole Wrecker has surely dug by now. However, another part relishes the quiet moments spent alone with Tech.

After each exploration of a rock or stone, Tech approaches you, offering detailed insights gleaned from thorough scans. It proves to be surprisingly informative and captivating.

While you are examining some shells, a glistening object catches your eye. Crouching down, you sift through coarse sand, shells and pebbles until you uncover a beautiful jewel.

"Looks like you have found a pearl," Tech comments from behind you, momentarily startling you. He crouches beside you and scans the pearl with his device. "A valuable one, indeed."

"Really?" you ask, surprised, twirling the pearl in your palm. "It's so pretty."

"And so are you."

"What?" you inquire, caught off guard.

"Hm?" Tech turns to you, wide-eyed, realising the compliment slipped effortlessly from his mouth.

You gaze at him, equally surprised, but a grin lights up your eyes as you know Tech often spoke aloud regardless of anything and was not one to tell fibs. "You just said I'm pretty."

Tech inhales deeply, his gaze momentarily averted as he navigates through his whirlwind of thoughts, considering whether to retract his words. Yet, he questions why he should. "I suppose I did," he admits, clearing his throat and glancing between you, the pearl, and his device. "Because it is true."

Your heart flutters, genuinely touched by his sincerity. It's been a while since anyone has offered such a compliment, and today, you find yourself leaning a bit more emotionally towards Tech. "Thank you," you reply softly, maintaining eye contact, "I think you're pretty handsome too."

Behind his yellow-tinted goggles, Tech's eyes widen, a shallow breath escaping his lips. "You don't need to say that just because I did."

"But I genuinely mean it," you affirm, and as Tech meets your gaze again, an almost imperceptible force draws you both closer.

Suddenly, the crashing waves become distant as your focus narrows to him, noticing the subtle way his eyes trace the contours of your lips.

In that sudden and somewhat surreal moment, as both of you lean in closer, the warmth of Tech's breath brushes against your face until—

"What are you two doing?"

Startled, you both quickly pull away, straightening up as Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair approach across the pebbled shore. Your hands tremble slightly, and Tech appears a bit perturbed by the sudden interruption, finding it challenging to meet your gaze.

"We found a pearl. Or rather, she found a pearl," Tech states nonchalantly, gesturing towards you while burying himself in his datapad once more. You're grateful for his understated response. You didn’t want the others to catch on to what just transpired—or what could have transpired, for that matter.

As Wrecker enthusiastically invites everyone to check out his hole, he slings his arm around your shoulder, drawing you into a side hug to inspect the treasure in your hand. "Is that it?" he asks, pointing at the small bead, earning a playful eye roll from you.

"The hole isn't that impressive, Wrecker," Crosshair comments with folded arms, provoking a snide response from Hunter.

"Bet if you made that hole, you wouldn't be saying that," Hunter retorts with a smirk before turning his attention to the pearl in your hand. "Huh, is it valuable, Tech? We could sell it."

Your heart sinks at Hunter's words but you’re not naive enough to understand why he would be interested in getting it sold. The GAR isn’t paying all too well recently so some extra credits would go a long way.

Tech, understanding the potential financial strain on the group, acknowledges the pearl's value. "Yes, it is rather valuable," he confirms, tucking away his datapad as he joins you and Hunter. However, as he looks at you, he can't ignore the silent plea in your eyes. "But only to very rare sellers. It's best to put it back where it came from."

Hunter scrutinises Tech for a moment, glancing between you two. You make a conscious effort to avoid eye contact, attempting to keep your heartbeat steady so he didn’t sense it.

"Very well," Hunter concedes, though a hint of skepticism lingers. "Are you two done here? We should start heading back to the ship."

"Yeah, we've had a good day. Even Crosshair," you tease, earning a rare chuckle from the usually stoic sniper. "And I want to check out the hole Wrecker dug anyway."

As the others begin to walk back, Tech nods to Hunter, signaling their imminent departure. The weighty unspoken tension between you and Tech lingers in the air, a thick reminder of the almost-kiss and Tech's choice to lie for your sake.

Silent, the two of you walk side by side, both seemingly on the verge of saying something. "Do you still have the pearl?" Tech breaks the silence, prompting you to halt and examine the pearl resting in your palm.

"Yeah. Do you want it?" You offer it to him, extending your hand. With the gentlest touch, he closes his hand over yours, folding your fingers to conceal the pearl within your grasp.

"You should keep it. You gave me something to focus on today," Tech remarks, a small, sweet smile gracing his lips. "I appreciate the effort you put in."

"And I have to thank you for not letting Hunter sell it… it’ll be a good reminder of today.”

Tech releases a breath he didn't realise he was holding, stealing a glance at the rhythmic crash of the soft waves. A surge of sudden courage propels him to voice what he had been contemplating. "Though I do believe the day would have ended better if…"

You observe him closely, your heart racing, sensing his unspoken desire. "If what?" you gently urge him on.

"If we did kiss," he blurts out, taken aback by his own admission. But the emotions he's been harboring are too potent to ignore.

You chew on your lip, feeling the shy but undeniable urge to heed Tech's request.

Slowly, you lift a hand to his cheek, leaning in as your lips meet his. He responds, arms wrapping instinctively around you, pulling you close. He’s timid but eases into the kiss like an expert.

You didn’t even care if the others turned around and saw, it was just the perfect end to a good day.

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Masterlist

Tags: @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @sol-the-otter @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @raevulsix @imalovernotahater @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @mysticalgalaxysalad @photogirl894 @id-rather-be-a-druid @the-bad-batch-baroness

#nahoney22 writes #bad batch tech x reader #tech x reader #tech x you #the bad batch #bad batch tech x you #tbb tech x reader #tbb tech x you #tech bad batch

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queuestarter · 4 months

Text

daybreak

(johanna mason x reader)

cw: none- just two girls in love

link to the request → grumpy x sunshine during training for the quarter quell

open to submissions/asks

You watch from across the room as Johanna strips off her training uniform and begins to rub oil all over herself. You shake your head in amusement and refocus on the conversion you’re having with your district mate and close friend, Beetee.

“I wonder what the reason they put the forcefield up this year is,” he comments offhandedly while observing a piece of wood as he attempts to figure out how to start a fire. You sit opposite him, not having much luck either.

You didn’t win your first games by fighting or learning survival skills. You won by appealing to the audience.

“Maybe someone attacked them. Or maybe one of the Gamemakers fell over the balcony,” you giggle, throwing down your two sticks as Katniss walks over to you.

You’ve never met her, but of course you know all about her. Who doesn’t at this point?

“Hello,” you friendlily greet her. She stands over you and Beetee awkwardly. “Do you know how to make a fire with two sticks? We’re awful at it.”

She sits down at the station with you. “Yeah, but I haven’t done it in a while. Let me see…” she grabs some sticks and begins to rub them together.

For the next ten minutes that you three spend at the station, a friendly rapport grows. You talk about many things, like the forcefield, productivity in your districts, and a few other topics. Eventually, she starts asking if you’re going to join any alliances.

“I think so,” you say hopefully. “I know me and Beetee are going to stick together. Johanna, too.”

“Johanna?” Katniss asks, raising her eyebrows.

You smile, finding your girl across the room. She’s arguing about something with Finnick, shoving his shoulder and getting shoved back in response.

“Yeah, she’s great. She’s just really, really great.” You can feel a blush growing on your cheeks which you hide behind your hands.

“I didn’t feel that way when I met her.” You furrow your eyebrows at Katniss.

“Oh. While I’m going to go see if I can try to make a lure with Mags. Beetee, want to join?” You want to be nice considering she doesn’t know about your relationship with Johanna and your girlfriend does come off as rude sometimes.

“Oh, yes. That could be very helpful,” he comments, getting up from his seat. “Thank you for helping us, Katniss. Maybe we would keep up that trend in the arena?”

Katniss nods, getting up as well. “I should see what Peeta is doing.”

You don’t talk to Katniss again until the next day of training.

You’re sparring with one of the trainers, having decided that it might actually be important this time around to work on your physical skills rather than just relying on your brains and public appeal.

When you finish the spar and are bent over trying to catch your breath, you feel a hand cup your ass. You let out a gasp of surprise.

“Johanna!” You shriek as you return to an upright position. Ignoring the shocked gazes of the people around you, you wrap your arms around her neck and pull her in for a quick kiss. “You can’t just scare me like that when I have a deadly weapon in my hands!”

She looks beautiful with her signature smirk on her face. “I just wanted to let you know how good you were doing. And let everyone know that you’re mine.”

You giggle uncontrollably, holding onto her for a few more seconds. With one final kiss to her smiling lips that end up more on her teeth than anything, you back away from the sparring station to allow other people to enter, namely Finnick and Katniss. Katniss has a look of disbelief on her face.

You say a quick ‘hello’ to them before Beetee is calling your name from across the room. “Can you identify the metal that comprises this beam? It seems to be steel but the density is all wrong.”

As you walk across the room to help out Beetee, you can hear Johanna talk to the two others, none of them being too quiet.

“What a woman,” she says, causing you to smile once more.

“You two are…? Her?” Katniss practically hisses.

“Why not?” Finnick teases. “Johanna needs something good in her life.”

“Shut up!” You turn your eyes back towards your girlfriend just in time to see her try to knock Finnick over.

This is what it means to be in love

#johanna mason #johanna request #johanna mason x reader #johanna mason x you #johanna imagine #johanna mason x y/n #johanna x reader #hunger games #thg johanna #lane's writing

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rainydayathogwarts · 6 months

Text

ʀᴇᴘᴜᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ - ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ᴍᴜɴꜱᴏɴ

bi!cheerleader!reader Summary: Nancy leaves you a crying mess after your breakup and you find comfort in the person you least expect. Warnings: angsty at start, fluff, internal homophobia almost, anxiety attack if you squint. Flashbacks in italic This idea has been in my drafts since november 2022 and here we are, one year later. I do have to say, I'm really happy with how it turned out. wc: 2.4k

Seeing Nancy with her was the epitome of having something reach straight into your chest to grab your heart, only to pull it out and toss it away in a dark corner to rot and be forgotten about. Not only did she break your heart, she disgusted you. She disgusted you for trusting her, confiding in her with the secret of your sexuality, one that could ruin your reputation, only to find out she didn't care about it at all.

"No because I got worried about you when you didn't show up to pick me up from practice. Silly me right?" You spoke with a shaking voice, standing in the open doorway, watching as Nancy gasped, pushing a girl you barely recognised from the school band off of her. The girl stumbled, almost falling off the bed as Nancy rushed towards you, throwing her shirt back on. They were both topless and the blonde girl's pants were off. She desperately scrambled for her clothes, covering her chest from you. You tried holding in the tears as you waited for an explanation from your girlfriend. "Look it-it's not what it looks like!" Nancy argued, and you scoffed, but from the look on her face, even she wasn't impressed by that excuse.

A single tear drop rolled down your cheek before you broke down, a sobbing mess in front of Nancy and her side piece, completely humiliated and hurt. "Get out!" You heard Nancy yell at the girl, who staggered out of the occupied bedroom, forgetting her purse. You covered your face from Nancy, wildly trying to wipe away all your tears at once. She stood in front of you, putting a hand on your shoulder for comfort but you stepped away from her, sniffling angrily. "How could you? I thought- I thought." You cut yourself off, scoffing at her with a cold laugh before turning on your heels, ignoring her calls for you as you stormed out of her house, face wet and eyes red from crying.

It'd been three weeks. You'd missed school for the first two days after the breakup, dreading the moment you would lock eyes with her in the hallway or she'd come find you, looking to apologise. Even though continuing that routine for the rest of the month seemed appealing, you held an important role in the school, and couldn't possibly miss another day of your senior year.

That's why you stood in the now emptying gymnasium, congratulating the basketball team for winning the game, arm linked with the most popular boy in school, Billy Hargrove who threw you a dazzling smile as you walked out onto the field, where everyone would gather before separating into cars to go party. "Y/N! Ride with me?" Suggested Billy, and you smiled at him, winking in his direction. That what how you kept your reputation, stayed relevant to high school standards. Be popular, show interest in attractive boys, talk about your hook ups, show up to games, be the passionate cheer captain you are, and stay at the top of your class.

All at once.

It was exhausting, but that was who you were going to continue to be, especially for this last year before you went off to college. It was only when you laid your eyes on Nancy and the same girl from the band talking next to her car that you jogged along to catch up with Billy. You ignored the pang in your chest; clearly she wouldn't be looking for you to apologise anytime soon seeing as they were together. Billy was waiting outside his car for you, two other people you didn't recognised having climbed in the back seat of his car. He grinned upon seeing you and you placed two hands on his chest, pushing him back slightly as you got on the tip of your toes, pressing your lips against his. A few people whistled at you while Billy wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the kiss slightly.

"Just for congratulations." You say when you separate, opening the passenger door of his car. As you tighten the seatbelt around you, Billy starting the car engine, you make eye contact with Nancy, who despite everything, looks betrayed. It only makes you feel worse about yourself. Just for congratulations, you remind yourself. It doesn't mean anything, so she can't call you a slut for it. Hell, if it brought you more attention, you would do it again.

The party is great, and you'd really really enjoy it if Nancy wasn't the only thing you could think about, littering your mind like a piece of garbage. Normally, you wouldn't mind it being so sweaty. After all, a game did just end and all of the players were now shirtless inside, to your - and other girls' - advantage. However, your cheer uniform somehow clung to your skin uncomfortably and you felt like you couldn't breathe, tearing your eyes away from the shirtless bodies.

You step outside of the house, taking a deep breath and looking around. The only people around were a couple making out against a wall and some people in the back buying something off of Eddie Munson, famously known as the freak of school, which was ironic because he was extremely popular and well-known because of his side hustle. He even got along with some of the boys on the basketball team, who bought from him and invited him to parties on the down low. The only thing missing for him were the ladies.

You sighed, looking around to see if there was a third option on places to be, starting to get overwhelmed. One hand came up to play with the necklace around you neck and you sniffled, tears starting to cloud your vision. You turned back around to go inside but stopped in your tracks, shaking your head once you were reminded how big the crowd was.

"Hey. You okay?" A hand on your shoulder grasps your attention again, and you bring a hand up to aggressively wipe away the tears, and inevitably, some mascara. Towering over you with a concerned look on his face is the one and only Eddie Munson. You nod "Mhmm, I'm just gonna-" Your voice breaks and your lip wobbles, and only as background noise, you hear Eddie ask "You want to hang out in my van for a bit? No funny business, I promise." And you feel yourself nodding, allowing him to lead you into the back of his van, where he conveniently guides you onto a red beanbag, sitting down next to you on the hard floor.

He lets you sit down in silence, the only sound in the van being your quiet sobs. He plays with his rings the same way you tug at your necklace for comfort, waiting for your sobs to slow when he says "I'm all ears if you want to talk about it."

You should be wary, learn from your lesson, but instead of doing either of those, you find yourself being comfortable and safe around Eddie. That's how it all comes out, every detail from start to finish. How Nancy had asked you if you liked women after you drunkenly flirted with her at a party, to both of you confessing your feelings, to becoming official. You talk about being happy like you never had been before to finding out that she was a cheating scumbag.

Your relationship with Nancy had been so secret for the reason that she was the only person to every find out that you were bisexual, and here you were, spilling it all out to Eddie Munson, who you had never properly met before in your life.

The silence when you were done was astonishing.

You wiped the last of your tears away, finally taking a proper look at Eddie, who just passed you a cigarette, a look of shock on his face. You don't take the cigarette, so to fill in the silence, Eddie puts it to his lips, inhaling deeply, before letting the smoke disperse in the van. You watch the white vapour make shapes in the air, sighing. "Look, I get it." He says. "Well- I don't, but I once dated this dude who-" You looked up at him in surprise.

"You like guys?" And he only nodded, grinning widely and nudging you with his elbow. "Well look at that, we already have so much in common. You like girls, I like girls. You like dudes, I like dudes. Wow, we're just meant to be, aren't we?"

And it's the way he's smiling, tucking a long strand of hair behind his ear to show off his dimples and his silver helix piercing that has you grinning shyly, making space on the small beanbag for him, where he joins you, and you finally snatch the cigarette from his lips to take a puff yourself.

It was the security of his friendship that made you so willing to be pulled into it. You were both vulnerable, but knew that neither of you would go around spreading each other's secret because you shared the same one. No one wanted to be outed to everyone they knew without even knowing so. Your friendship built up, became strong. He often sat on the bleachers writing something while you were at cheer practice, and he drove you home, cracking jokes with you in the car. You started talking to him in school, trodding along with him to your classes, and he became comfortable around your friends, joking around as though he was part of your friend group.

And eventually, he was.

Ignoring the odd looks people still gave you, you accepted the arm Eddie offered you, guiding you outside so he could have a smoke. "I have to say, sweetheart, you've made me quite popular." You laughed, shaking your head "You've always been pretty popular, Eddie." But he shook his head at you. "No, no, like people are liking me, openly inviting me to things. Including me in conversations. Hell, today someone even paired up with me in class. And here we thought our friendship would ruin your reputation." He plays his shock coolly, opting to tease you instead, as per usual. You shove him by the shoulder and he chuckles, watching as you jump up to sit on the hood of his van.

You squeal when you start to slip off, but Eddie only moves to stand between your legs, putting a hand on your thigh to help stabilise you. There's a moment of silence, and he looks in your eyes, as though looking for signs of discomfort, but he finds something more. Something good. You lick your lips, putting a hand on his shoulder and giggling. He joins you, turning his head so he can blow the smoke from his joint away from you, and he spots her.

Her. The one who broke your heart.

No matter the rare positive things he's heard about her from others, he can't help but hate her - can't force himself not to glare. You follow his gaze, scoffing at the sight. "I don't know why little band girl doesn't think she'll cheat on her too." You hum, agreeing with him, your free hand coming up to his jaw to turn his face towards you. "You just defending me Eddie?" You tease, head cocked to the side.

He shakes his head angrily, eyebrows furrowing, and he finally stumps out his joint on the floor. "No- I mean yeah but I'm honestly more annoyed sweetheart. Like honestly, everyone knows that if someone cheats on their partner to get with you, the same way that relationship ends is with them cheating on their new partner. No one can be that dumb!" He huffs, gathering his hair into a makeshift bun before letting it all go, looking around in search of his joint. When he realised he put it out, he curses, looking back at you who's smiling down at him.

You push a couple of stray strands of hair away from Eddie's eyes, leaning closer to him. He puts his hands on your thighs and you both hear the giggles of Nancy and her girlfriend, to which he rolls his eyes at. Your heart skips a beat when he does and you open your mouth before closing it shut again, deciding to finally show him how he makes you feel instead of saying anything.

You cup his jaw in your hands, leaning downwards to kiss him, and he immediately reciprocates it, his hands wandering from your thighs to grip your ass tightly. He pulls you closer to the edge of the hood of the van, humming into the kiss when you swipe your tongue against his bottom lip. He gives it to you, immediately deepening the kiss, and taking control by moving one of his hands to the back of your neck, not giving you the space to separate from him. It's all lips and tongue and hands on each other's bodies, that when you finally start to push against his chest to pull away, you're both panting.

You look down at him, wiping away the gloss on his lips with a smile. He does the same, trying to remove your smudged gloss with the pad of his thumb and failing, wiping the residue on his jeans. "Just saying, that kiss better have been for me, not for-" "It was. It was just for you." You reassure, pressing another soft kiss on his lips, only then looking up, realising Nancy and her friend stayed for the show. Eddie turns around, staring at the look of shock on their faces, and he cocks his head mockingly "What? You guys want some of this?" He points at you, a subtle hint to inform them that he knows the whole story.

Your eyes widen, and you grab the finger he uses to point at you, giggling in shock "Eddie!" You gasp, and he shrugs, still talking to Nancy mostly, as he's making direct eye contact with her. "I would want some of you if I were them too." And you both watch in surprise as Nancy's friend storms away angrily. Your eyes widen in shock and you watch as Eddie turns back around, looking slightly guilty, but mostly amused. "I kind of want to say I told you so."

You gasp at his careless tone, wrapping both your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you again. As you lean down to kiss him again, feeling his hands wander up your back, you start to hear wolf whistles.

"And there goes our moment" Mutters Eddie against your lips.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! Anyway, serious topic (not really) I was thinking of making this into like a series. Like seeing how Eddie and reader overcome milestones in their relationship kind of and it follows this storyline of their relationship. Like with specifically this eddie and reader in mind. Lmk if you get what I mean or not

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frailstateofhealy · 2 months

Text

babe, you look so cool - matty x reader

a/n: hi, this is my first fic!! i've never really written something and put it out into the world so i hope you guys enjoy! so sorry if this is hard to follow but hopefully my writing improves! i'm going to label this as 18+ just because it's angsty and has mature themes! also let me know if you want a part 2! xx

warnings: angst, cursing, depiction of anger issues, toxic love and brief mention of blood

summary: you're in a toxic relationship with the lead singer of an up-and-coming band in your small town. he's damaged and so are you but two negatives make a positive right?

word count: 2.4k !!

wilmslow. a small town in england where your family had decided to relocate to a few weeks ago from london to get away from the chaos of the city.

you were eighteen years old and this would be your final year of school. you were nervous about moving to a town where you wouldn't know anyone until you met a guy called adam who was nice enough to invite you into his friend group and introduce you to them.

you would never fit in with the popular girls because you weren't a cute preppy blonde that everyone liked. you had brown curly hair and your favourite colour wasn't pink like the other girls. it was black and that was the colour you wore every day.

one day during lunch adam invited you to the table where he sat with his friends every single day. as you approached the table you saw a tall guy with blonde hair and another with short brown hair who seemed a bit shy. then finally, you saw the one who was laughing obnoxiously at something the taller blonde one had said to him. the obnoxious guy's smile faded from when he saw you standing there in front of him like he was almost in a trance at the sight of you.

adam stood up from his seat and walked over to you. "hey boys, this is y/n. she's new here and i wanted to welcome her into our group." you smiled and looked at each one of the three boys sitting in front of you but your eyes traveled back to the loud one. he was so visually appealing to you and there was something enticing about him.

adam started "this is george, he's massive. this is ro-" adam was abruptly cut off when the obnoxious one stood up in front of you. "fuck off ross! i'm matty." he said with a smile while letting his eyes linger on you for a few moments before he forced himself to look away.

you looked at matty, he was beautiful. people would often argue that men couldn't be beautiful which you always believed to be true until you met matty.

george's deep raspy voice knocked you out of your trance "shit, matty just fell in love at first sight." george joked that day but he was right and he usually was right when it came to things like that. george and matty seemed to be the closest of the four, they told each other everything. they hardly ever had secrets between them and george knew exactly when his best friend fancied someone, especially from the way matty looked at you. he looked at you as if you were the most beautiful piece of art hanging in a museum, one that he couldn't take his eyes off of.

you began to ask adam some questions about his friend matty during the class you two had together. you knew you had to get to know him and you wouldn't rest until you did. something about him really intrigued you.

matthew healy. nineteen years old. he had spent one extra year in school because he got held back from not paying attention in class or skipping. when he was asked why he didn't show up to class he told the teachers that school "got in the way of his visionary genius" he had long curly brown hair that just barely touched his neck. he sometimes wore his hair up in a bun which matty preferred you called a "man bun." his normal attire was black, ripped skinny jeans, and any shirt he could find in his closet. adam really didn't go into much detail but apparently matty had a rough home life. his parents were always working and had to babysit his little brother often. matty had beautiful brown eyes, the kind you could easily get lost in without even trying. he was shorter than adam, ross, and george and they often teased him about this which he got quite defensive over. all four of them were in a band they called themselves 'big sleep' because matty chose the name after something he enjoyed doing.

they invited you to their band practices in matty's basement every time they had one because they could use constructive criticism which is what adam said. but, you knew it was just because matty wanted to look at you. george played the drums, and ross and adam both played guitar. matty was the lead singer which wasn't surprising for his flamboyant and loud personality. you knew they would be famous one day especially matty. he was the perfect frontman for a rock band, you could just tell.

you and matty had a thing. you wouldn't know what to call it although labels weren't always important. you two would catch each other staring a little more than it should be between two friends. the other guys always knew there was something more between you and matty but they didn't seem to mind. they just seemed to be happy that matty was excited about and that you motivated him to keep showing up to school. ross told you he hadn't seen matty this happy in awhile.

you sat there with your legs crossed and watched the guys in front of you tuning their instruments and getting ready for today's band rehearsal. they were in the initial stages of their band so up to this point they only really sang covers of their favourite alternative songs, most of which matty chose.

"so, we wrote this song the other night when you had that thing come up with your dad." matty spoke into the microphone and he seemed quite nervous by way his voice was shaky. the mere mention of your father felt like a punch in the stomach.

matty looked over nervously to his left where adam stood with the guitar pick in his hand. adam gave him a slight nod to calm matty's nerves a bit as if saying it was okay. matty put his head down for a moment "let's do this boys." your eyes traveled to adam as he played the first few chords of their first original song. it was a slower song, it started with just four simple chords and it remained pretty consistent throughout the song. matty started to sing effortlessly while staring at you.

"she had a face straight out of a magazine"

you looked at adam, ross, and george who all seemed to get lost in the music surrounding them. you nodded your head to the beat of the music while also paying close attention to the lyrics that matty sang. you were impressed, you knew they were good but not to this degree. you could tell by the covers that they would sing that they had something special but this just further proved it to be true. the music started to build as the guys started playing faster and with more passion. you loved seeing all four of them get lost in the music that they played. you noticed that adam gave matty another nod as if telling him to do something.

"but if you just take off your mask, you'd find out everything's gone wrong"

matty sang out as he started walking towards you. he grabbed your hand and pulled you hard off the piece of furniture you were sitting on.

"what are you doing?" you asked but you didn't get an answer, well at least not the one you thought you'd get. matty took a break from singing with the pause of the instruments behind him.

"i fucking love you." he muttered as he grabbed you roughly by the back of the neck and pulled you closer to him before you even had a chance to respond. before you knew it, matty crashed his lips against yours in what was a passionate kiss. you felt chills run through your body as he let his lips linger on yours for a few moments before pulling away. when he pulled away from the kiss he reached his hand out for yours as if he didn't want to pull away but he knew he had to. you glanced up at saw george and ross smirking at each other.

they finished the rest of the song and you just stood there dumbfounded. you had no idea what just happened, you weren't upset but you were just surprised. matty nervously looked at the guys and george gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder when all the guys stepped away from their instruments and went into the other room to give you two privacy.

matty finally approached you once again and you immediately spoke "the song was absolutely amazing but why did you kiss me?" matty stared into your eyes as he started to softly twirl the hair that was hanging in his face. you knew him enough to know that he only twisted his curls when he was nervous about something.

"fucking hell!" he finally said as he started pacing in front of you. "matty, what's wrong?" you asked in a concerned voice. you could tell by his body language that something was bothering him.

"i can't stop looking at you. i can't stop thinking about you and it's bloody frustrating. i'm not supposed to be in love with you but i can't help it." he walks back and forth in front of you at a faster pace as his voice grows louder.

"i can't even fucking go to sleep without thinking about how i feel about you. even when i do sleep, you show up in my dreams. it's just-" he pauses for a moment while you just stand there staring at him.

"it's fucking impossible. i need to be your boyfriend. i'll fucking do anything." he trails off while noticing that you're just standing there looking at him. he probably thought you were judging him but you just didn't want to interrupt him.

"shit! are you even listening to me right now?"

you could tell that he was starting to get pissed off. you knew it wasn't with you but it seemed he was very frustrated with himself. he got closer to you, so much so that you could feel his warm breath on your face.

"i need you to be mine. i need you to be my girlfriend and i need you to fucking fall in love with me or something. fuck!" at this point he was raising his voice in frustration. he bit his lip and walked over to the wall and punched his fist right through it. he fell to his knees on the ground, not from the pain of punching the wall but from the pain he was feeling in his chest. at this point, his breathing was fast and he had his head in his hands while he kneeled there on the ground.

without hesitation, you rushed over to him and got onto your knees. you instantly took his now bloody hand into your hands.

"look at me matty, breathe, okay?" you said in a calm tone while staring into his brown eyes which seemed to be darker than usual at this moment.

"i just, i can't..." he paused to gasp for air.

"i can't get you off my mind is all." he said with tears forming in his eyes. he wasn't upset from sadness though. you knew it was from the overwhelming feeling of passion he was experiencing at this moment. when matty had his mind set on something, it was nearly impossible to change his mind or get him to think of something else.

"matty, what makes you think i don't want the same thing? what makes you think i'm not in love with you because i am." you saw his face turn from a pained expression into an almost bright one. his breathing instantly slowed down now that you spoke. "really?" he asked. you looked down as you noticed a bruise starting to form as well as blood trickling it's way down his hand.

you started to cry, you couldn't bear the sight of him in pain. he cupped your face with his hurt hand, letting out a hitched breath while wincing in pain. he extended his fingers to wipe the mascara filled tears that fell down your cheeks.

"i love you so fucking much, darling." he said almost as he felt relief despite all the pain he must have been in. he wasn't in much pain though, at least not right now when he was looking into the eyes of the girl he loved.

he pressed his lips against yours. only this time it was a gentle kiss that sent shivers through your body. you had dreamt of this moment since you first laid your eyes on him when adam introduced you to him.

you felt helpless right now, you knew he wouldn't have punched the wall if you just spoke up when he was talking. what if him being in pain right now was your fault?

"george!!" you yelled out which was the first name that came to your mind besides Matty's. he was only in the other room so he came rushing in based solely on of the distress in your voice.

"what hap-" he stopped when he saw his friend on the floor next to you. george immediately crouched down onto the floor next to the both of you.

"shit, not again mate." george said he helped his best friend by grabbing a nearby towel and wrapping it around his injured hand.

"he told me he was in love with me but he got frustrated and then that happened." you gestured towards the hole in the wall.

"he does this a lot. he'll be okay." george reassured while grabbing the ice from ross that he had brought in as if each of them already knew what to do.

"what did you say?" george asked as if matty wasn't sitting there right in front of him.

matty looked up at george with a genuine smile. matty didn't smile much unless he was telling a lame joke and even then it faded pretty fast. this one though was already lasting longer than any joke that he thought was hilarious.

"she said you she feels the same mate! she actually feels the same. can you fucking believe that?" matty spoke with a smile.

"i fucking told you you she would. hurt your hand for nothing you wanker!" george teased as he playfully ran his hand through matty's messy brunette curls.

"i got the girl." the curly-haired rocker said with a growing smile.

george smirked and kneeled off of the ground. "yeah, let's see if you can keep this one."

you looked at them both with a raised eyebrow and repeated what george said in your head.

this one? what the fuck does that mean?

#matty healy fanfic #matty healy x reader #matty x you #matty healy angst #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy #matty

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mika-no-sekai-blog · 9 months

Text

With the last breath

Word count: 1577

Warnings: depression, suicide attempt

Part II

At first, I'm sorry for my English. It isn't my native language, so there are mistakes and maybe it wouldn't give sense. Writing this was a real challenge and it showed me my (language) limits😅

For the first actual fanfiction I post here I'd say it's quite dark. I wrote it after fight with husband as kind of distraction. Well, it served its purpose.

Declaration: I write just for fun✌️

One day you were on a way to deliver some documents to Rhysand. He sent a request to the library to look for certain information he urgently needed and when everything he asked for was collected, Clotho asked you to deliver it to him. As the only person who from time to time didn't mind to go out, you had a good relationship him and knew all of the members of the inner circle. You often worked with them and helped them as you knew the library so well as the back of your hand.

Entering the River House you headed to his office. Clotho had sent him a notice of your visit early in the morning, so you knew where to look for him. As you approached the office door you could hear his voice and the voices of two other males. He was there together with his brothers standing around the table with maps and papers on it and discussing something important. You didn't want to disturb them, so you silently walked through the open door and set the documents on a small table right next to the door. Spymaster's eyes met yours for a second as he was the only one facing the door and he noticed the movement. Finding out it's you, as usually, he lost interest and returned to whatever they were looking at together. Rhys noticed his eyes went up and he also turned to you with a big, kind smile.

„Is that the information I asked for?“

„Yeah, it should be all. I checked it several times to make sure,“ you whispered silently, but he heard you.

„Would you mind to stay for lunch since you've come this far? It would be just three of us, Feyre and Elain,“ Rhys invited you.

Your eyes hastily darted to Azriel. His jaw slightly tightened, but you didn't miss that small move. „I'm afraid I need to return back..“ you tried to smile little.

„Are you already going back? Don't you need escort?“ Cassian turned to you too, offering help.

He and Rhys were kind to you and seemed to be happy to see you whenever you met them. Rhys always asked you to join a meal with his family and sometimes you'd accept it. On the other hand, Spymaster has never bothered to treat you with more than a short look or few casual phrases at the best. Even though he didn't seem to be really fond of you, he tended to sit next to you on a sofa or hold a seat for you next to him at the table. But it was a long time ago. Maybe he noticed you eyeing him with interest and that was the reason his behaviour changed over the years from 'I can tolerate you' to 'such a nuisance'. He personally didn't do nor say anything bad to you. But you could feel it from him somehow. You hadn't much of magic in your blood, but you was able to read any subtle signs and understand how people around you feel. That's the reason you stopped accepting invitations and tried to cross his path as little as possible. In the moments like this it was impossible to avoid meeting him and he seemed to be fine with it, paying you minimum attention. But as soon as somebody asked you to join them for a meal or evening, you could feel a slight discomfort from him. You tried to brush it away, but still it hurt.

When you met him for the first time you were afraid of him. As you got to know inner circle better, you learnt there's actually nothing scary about him and that deep down he is a very kind person. His silent, calm and caring nature appealed to you and before you noticed you fell in love with him. You couldn't help it even though you knew you don't have any chance. Masking it as best as you could, you decided to suffer in silence. You knew about his feeling toward Mor and when Archeron sisters entered your lives you noticed his shift of interest to Elain too. You weren't ugly, but there was no way you could compete with such beauties as the two of them. And you were well aware of that. That's why you've never tried to approach him and talk to him properly and after feeling a kind of discomfort from him in your presence, you tried to keep your distance and avoid him.

You excused yourself as fast as you could and turned around to leave. When you were sure that Rhys and Cass turned back to the table, you allowed yourself a single glance to him over your shoulder. His features were relaxed. He was so painfully beautiful that tears welled up in your eyes and the painful hole in your chest got little bigger.

After meeting him you needed some time to calm down and bury those feelings back so deep that nobody could notice them. You were walking around the city till you were sure you regained your peace. And just then you decided to head back to the library.

When you were climbing up the stairs you heard some muffled voices. You've never spied on other people, but this time you couldn't resist it and peaked to the hall to see who could it be. And there you saw them. Azriel stood with his back against the wall, Elain standing on her tiptoes with arms around his neck leaning into him. They started to kiss, slowly at first, but soon enough their passion took over. You couldn't stand it. Tears stinging your eyes once again, you left as silently as possible. When you were far from them and they couldn't hear you anymore, you run to your room as fast as you could. Closing the door you slid down to the ground unable to stifle your sobs. Knowing he has a thing for somebody else wasn't as painful as to actually see them together. It utterly broke your heart leaving you unable to breathe properly. Your life was pretty simple, you didn't have much. Your love for that male and a little faith you held were basically all you had left and the scene you witnessed totally crushed it all.

It took you hours until you calmed down enough to be able to stand up. You opened the door. You didn't know where to go, but you couldn't stand to be here anymore. Your legs took over the control, marching on their own. Suddenly you found yourself on one of the balconies heavily leaning on the railing. You slightly leaned over the edge looking down. The balcony was so high it made you nauseous. You pulled back to the safety. Spending most of the time in the library you've never gave much thoughts to heights at which you lived. You just occasionally had chance to stop and look out the window. Carefully you sat up on the railing back facing outwards. You tried to take deep breaths to calm down, to get through the pain and the shock. You tilted your head back watching floating clouds. As child you spent hours lying in the grass and watching clouds. It used to be so relaxing, but now you felt nothing, except emptiness. There was a bird flying high above you. You sighed. How beautiful it would be if you could fly. You'd took off flying far from this place, far from these people, far from him. What it must be like to feel so free and weightless. If you lean back little more, you could find out. It would be so nice to fly down, to never have to feel anything anymore. You knew you should be scared to even think about such things, but instead you felt numb.

The bird was getting bigger as it flew closer. You closed eyes and leaned back more and more. Suddenly you felt so light, flying like that bird. Small smile formed on your lips and you stretched out arms like wings.

Azriel was flying back to the House of Wind when he noticed somebody leaning dangerously on the edge of railing on one of the highest balconies. It was strange, but he was tired so at first he didn't pay much attention to it. He looked away just for a moment and the person disappeared. His throat tightened. He immediately plunged headlong down, but he wasn't fast enough. The person was only few meters away from a certain death. He had to winnow. Stepping into shadows he reappeared few foots bellow the person stretching out arms to catch... HER! There was no doubt. It was Y/N. What happened? Why would she do something so horrible? What if he tries to catch her, but she slips through his hands and dies? He'd never been so scared in his entire life. If something were to happen to her, he'd never forgive himself. All sounds of the world disappeared, he could hear only own heart racing in his chest. It took just mere seconds, but it seemed to take forever. The moment her body collided with his, the time had stopped. He squeezed his eyes, muscles tensing, wings spreading to stop their fall.

When he finally dared to open his eyes, there she was safe in his arms, pressed to his chest. He breathed a sigh of relief.

#acotar fanfiction #azriel acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x you #azriel

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piratekane · 1 year

Text

Beatrice sighs as her pen runs out of ink. This is the second pen today and she’s starting to feel like there is something working against her. But, that seems illogical. The more logical conclusion is that Ava has used her pens. She has a tendency to use them until they’re nearly dry and put them back in Beatrice’s backpack, thinking she’s doing a good job returning them to where she found them.

Not maliciously. There’s nothing Ava does that is malicious. Beatrice knows she’s probably thinking: I borrowed this. I need to put it back. And then she does and Beatrice opens her backpack at the student center the next day, intent on getting some work done while she waits for Ava, and finds her pens dry.

She looks through her pencil case but there isn’t another pen, just a precisely sharpened standard pencil, two black mechanical pencils, a yellow highlighter, a soft white eraser, and her red pen - used to make corrections only. She debates using it.

No. It would ruin her notes.

Instead, she pulls out her laptop. She’ll just continue her notes there and transfer them to her notebook later. The extra repetition will be good for her. Her professor asked her a question she wasn’t quite prepared for and she knows she’s going to be thinking about it all week until she has a chance to redeem herself in the next class.

Her screen comes to life and she sighs. This one isn’t born from frustration like her last one; this one is an acceptance, an admitting to herself that, despite what she’s looking at, she can’t help but feel a rush of affection for it.

Ava has changed her desktop background again. This time, it’s a picture Camila took last weekend. Ava is in a white shirt and white shorts, a white sweatband around her forehead. All of it is stained in neon paint. She’s holding a fake plastic trophy high above her head with one hand, the other looped around Beatrice’s neck, the two of them squished into the frame. Her own clothes are soaked with the same bright colors.

How she agreed to something called a Color Run... The idea of running through cannons of color had not sounded appealing, but Ava had come home with a flyer she found on the bulletin board outside the cafeteria and presented it to Beatrice alongside a bulleted list of reasons why Beatrice should say yes.

She let Ava go through the list: one, you love to exercise. Two, it’s advertised to make the world ‘healthier’ and you’re always telling me I need to start making better choices. Three, imagine if we got Lilith to agree to come and someone blasted her with a color cannon?

The third one hadn’t been convincing. Lilith would never agree to something like that.

Beatrice didn’t tell her that the list didn’t matter; she was going to say yes the moment Ava handed her the flyer and looked at her with those eyes, the ones that always made Beatrice feel like she could free fall and not care what waits for her at the other end of it.

And she had to admit, it was rather fun. The white clothes they bought were completely ruined, but it had been worth it to see the way Ava beamed the whole run, sprinting ahead to circle back around her. She had thrown her arms wide when the color cannons went off, soaking in the powder. Beatrice soaked in her happiness in return.

It hasn’t been long. Spring is fading into summer quickly and Ava has been living with her for two months and every single moment has been filled with the kind of happiness that Beatrice could have only dreamed about when she was younger. The kind of happiness that made each day feel like it was worth waking up for.

She hadn’t gone looking for this, hadn’t expected something like this to just fall into her lap - or literally crash into her table. It’s illogical to think fate sent Ava into her orbit, but if she was pressed, she could admit that each of them must have been in the right place at the right time. Serendipity, Ava said with a rakish smile. We were destined to meet.

If there was such a thing as serendipity, it must be working in her favor.

She opens a word document, the cursor blinking at the top of the page. She titles it Anthropological Theories of Religion and flips through her textbook until she finds the correct page. She likes this class, likes how as she continues through her degree program the class gets smaller, more intimate. She typically likes the professor, though she feels thrown off by her now.

Halfway through a word, her world goes dark. Warm hands slide over her eyes, fingertips pressing against her skin.

She smiles nearly instantly. “Ava.”

“Not Ava,” says a low voice. But it’s clunky, a poor imitation at something deeper.

Beatrice plays along for just a moment, indulging Ava and a part of herself that likes to make Ava happy. “Oh? Well then. I suppose a stranger has found it appropriate to put their hands on me.” She curls her fingers around a thin wrist, one her hand already knows the shape of, and tightens slightly. “I do know how to disarm you.”

“You could try.”

Beatrice tightens her grip in response and hears a slight exhale that glances against the shell of her ear. A fingertip skates across her brow briefly and then Ava is letting go, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before she sits down heavily in the chair next to Beatrice.

“How did you know it was me? What if I was… Mary?”

Beatrice spares Ava a glance. “Mary knows better. You, on the other hand…”

“I’ve never known better.” Ava says it with pride. “Especially not when it comes to you.”

Beatrice feels her chest tighten. She wonders if Ava knows, if Ava understands how something so simple unspools the tight loop Beatrice keeps around her heart. A part of her thinks Ava must. Ava is able to read her so thoroughly. From the moment they met, Ava has seen through her so effortlessly. It’s thrilling, to be seen like that.

And it’s devastatingly terrifying.

“Yes, well,” she says quietly.

“One day, you’ll use that to your advantage.” Ava spins Beatrice’s textbook towards her, reading a few of the section titles before she turns it back towards Beatrice. “But you’re also too nice for that, so who knows.”

Beatrice straightens out her textbook out of habit more than anything else. “You’re late.”

Ava smiles sheepishly. “I got caught up.” She doesn’t give an answer past that.

Beatrice nearly frowns. Ava doesn’t owe her any more of an explanation. She just usually gives one.

“But I’m here now!” Ava takes off her backpack, resting it on the floor before she opens it and takes out her own laptop. “I thought you didn’t like typing your notes? Muscle memory or something, right?”

“My pens are out of ink.”

Ava’s cheeks flush. “That’s my fault, isn’t it.”

“It’s certainly not mine.” She says it without any malice. “I just need to start carrying more pens.”

Ava still looks guilty. She fishes into the pocket of her jean shorts and unearths a stick of gum, three paper clips, and an uncapped pen. She spreads them out on the table and nudges the pen towards Beatrice. It’s not the tip she likes, thicker than she usually uses, and it’s blue. If red would ruin her notes, this would change the physical shape of them.

She takes the offered pen and closes her laptop. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” Ava smiles and scoops the paper clips up, putting them back in her pocket.

Beatrice will find them later when she does the laundry and she’ll add them to the jar of pocket-trinkets she keeps of all the things Ava leaves behind in her clothes. It’s made up of coins and paper clips and pen caps - all things that Ava swears she’s going to put in proper places but never remembers until Beatrice is pulling them out of the washing machine.

Ava takes the gum and breaks it in half, offering it to Beatrice. She has coffee and this gum is spearmint. The combination will taste horrible. But she puts the gum in her mouth and smiles when Ava does.

“So, listen to what MacKay did today.” Ava tells the story animatedly, face shifting as she plays each character. Beatrice doesn’t catch every word, too focused on the rise and fall of her voice and the way her hands move as she goes on. Beatrice finds herself smiling along, not at all caring about some girl named Carina or Professor MacKay and whatever argument they’ve gotten into this week.

Ava is halfway through her story, body gearing up to drop the punch line, when her face shifts and her eyes cut over Beatrice’s shoulder. Beatrice frowns, turning to look. A boy is approaching their table, hands locked around the straps of his backpack as he strides towards them.

“Hey, Ava!” he calls.

Beatrice looks back at Ava. She knows this boy, at the very least. But her face is unreadable - a feat Ava doesn’t manage to accomplish very often. He comes closer and Beatrice’s frown deepens.

“Ah,” Ava says quietly.

Ah?

The boy slows as he reaches their table, a smile on his face that someone might find charming. She studies Ava’s face. Does she find it charming?

“Hey, Ava,” he repeats. His voice is smooth, slightly accented. A traitorous part of her thinks of the time that Ava said she liked accents. “I was hoping to catch you after class.”

Ava smiles. “Sorry, JC. I was in a hurry. Had a lunch date.” She hooks a thumb in Beatrice’s direction. “JC, meet Beatrice, my best friend. Beatrice, this is JC. He’s my biology lab partner.”

JC. She’s never heard of him before. Ava talks about everyone and everything. Some nights, she talks until she falls asleep on the couch, her Hobbes stuffed animal clutched in her arms. It’s almost as if she collects stories all day just to tell them to Beatrice later. She knows about every one of Ava’s classmates, is - secretly - invested in her Literary Theory classmates, Robert and Nayara, and their on-again, off-again relationship. She knows about the librarian Ava likes, who doesn’t mind her iced coffee, as long as she uses a paper towel and keeps it away from the books.

But she’s never heard of a JC, or anyone who might use the initials JC.

And it’s not that Ava isn’t allowed to have friends. She is. She has plenty of them. She always says hello to at least fifteen people when they go out, either here to their favorite table in the student center or in the library or walking to the cafeteria if they’re getting lunch between classes. Ava loves people, loves knowing things about them. Beatrice loves that about her.

She just thought she knew all of them. Or has heard of them before. She certainly thinks she would have remembered hearing about Ava’s lab partner. It's odd, now, that she hasn't.

JC smiles at her, his eyes taking a moment longer to shift away from Ava. “It’s nice to meet you. Ava has talked a lot about you.”

Beatrice hides her smile at that. “Nice to meet you,” she says politely.

He completely turns from her, his job of mirroring her politeness gone, his job done. Beatrice finds herself studying him. He’s attractive in a conventional sense. A strong jaw, a good smile. Camila would have many things to say about him and Beatrice works to keep her voice out of her mind. She focuses on Lilith instead.

Boys, she would probably sneer. Beatrice agrees.

JC runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back a little. Beatrice watches Ava’s eyes follow the motion and fights a visible frown. JC notices, though, and seems to preen a little in a way only university-age boys can when they find themselves to be attractive. She takes a centering breath. She doesn’t know JC. She’s sure he’s a nice person. She’s also sure he’d be a nicer one if he wasn’t standing at their table right now.

“I just wanted to know if you gave any thought to my question.”

“Ah,” Ava says again.

Ah?

JC doesn’t seem bothered. “I know your rule on dating your lab partner. It’s a very specific rule but I think you should give me a chance.”

Dating echoes in Beatrice’s head like a slow siren, like the slow spin of a lantern in a lighthouse. It illuminates JC, floating in the ocean in her mind, with his charming smile and his hopeful eyes. Ava appears next, face unreadable. They rotate around and around until they’re in the same frame.

She blinks and Ava is staring at her, a slight wrinkle in her forehead.

Beatrice keeps her face neutral, unsure of what else to do with it. She certainly can’t shout no. She absolutely will not encourage it. She’s stuck in a sort of limbo where she isn’t sure what comes next and so she waits, poised and ready to do whatever is needed of her.

Ava’s frown deepens.

JC takes the silence and runs with it. “If it’s because you’re worried about things being awkward if it doesn’t go well - and that’s a big if - then you don’t need to worry.” His smile widens and he leans one hand down on the table, his whole body angled towards Ava now. “What do you say?”

Say no, she thinks. Tell him to go away.

Ava has been living with her for two months and Beatrice has been in love with her for at least half of that.

It took some getting used to, this feeling. It took many nights laying in bed staring at the ceiling and pretending like the feelings she had for Ava were just a friendship. An intense one, born of their proximity and Ava’s natural affinity for people in general.

But love is friendship caught on fire, she’s read before. And her friendship with Ava is a living, burning thing. She knows their love would be incendiary, scorching everything she thought love looked like before.

If - and it’s a big if - Ava ever wanted to love her back.

Why would she? Why would she give up a world of possibility for Beatrice? She’s certainly nothing special. She’s disciplined, polite, considerate to the needs of others - all the things her parents wanted her to be. Ava wants someone free, a little brash, selfish in the right ways. Beatrice is none of those things, can’t even begin to think of how she could be. But Ava deserves to get what she wants after all those years of being denied even the simplest of things.

Beatrice just doesn’t have the qualities Ava could want. Friendship is one thing. Being in love with someone is another. Beatrice is hyper aware of the difference.

It doesn’t stop her from dreaming about it, though. It doesn’t stop her from wishing for it.

“What’s the worst that could happen? We spend the rest of the semester ignoring each other?” he asks, smile charming.

Yes, she thinks. What’s the worst that could happen between them? They could spend the rest of the lease ignoring each other. Ava would never look at her the same.

She’d have to go back to living her life the way it was before Ava - not the worst, but not as great as this.

“I don’t know,” Ava finally hedges.

Yes, Beatrice exhales in her mind.

JC leans forward a little more. “It doesn’t need to be anything big. We could go for one of those iced coffees you like. At the cafe near Venable?”

“She likes the one near the English department.”

Beatrice frowns. Surely that wasn’t her voice. But Ava and JC are both looking at her. So it must have been her. There’s a slight smile on Ava’s face, a slight frown on JC’s. Beatrice clears her throat.

“I’m sorry. I just…”

JC recovers. “The one near Eldridge Hall, sure. I know someone who works there. She can sneak us a pastry.”

Ava hasn’t looked away from Beatrice. “I don’t know,” she repeats.

Beatrice swallows. It’s fine. Ava is - well, not quite a grown up, but certainly not a child. Despite her propensity for Saturday morning cartoons on Beatrice’s Hulu account - which is ruining the algorithm of her suggested shows - and sleeping on the couch upside down like a toddler and eating, God help her, shredded cheese out of the bag after finishing half a gallon of milk without even pouring herself a glass, she is not a child.

She can make her own decisions. And if that decision is- If it’s- Well. Beatrice swallows past a knot forming in her throat. Well. She can do what she pleases. Including this probably-very-nice-boy in front of them. She’s allowed to do that.

So she smiles tightly, her lips pressing together thinly, and tells herself to get it together. She keeps her focus on Ava and loosens her mouth and it feels a little more natural. She inhales through her nose. She can tell Ava that she’s free to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants.

“You do like a free pastry,” is what she ends up saying.

Ava’s forehead pinches, the corners of her mouth crinkling. “I do,” she says slowly, confused.

“An iced coffee and a pastry.” Beatrice says it just as slowly. “Both things that you enjoy.”

“I do,” Ava repeats.

Beatrice nods encouragingly. Her head feels like it’s on a spring, up and down and up and down. She’s worried it’s going to roll off.

JC looks between the two of them, confusion on his face. Beatrice sees him out of the corner of her eye and her smile tightens again.

Ava is still staring at her, still frowning slightly. Beatrice forces herself into her most diplomatic smile.

Don’t you get it? she wants to ask. Don’t you understand what I’m trying to say?

But Ava misses it. Because she breaks Beatrice’s gaze and focuses on JC instead. Beatrice thinks her smile is slightly dimmer. Or she’s just hoping it is. But it still doesn’t ease the pain of knowing there is a smile and it’s aimed at JC.

She opens her mouth, but he beats her to it. “Listen, you have my number. I’m done with classes this evening. And then you’ll meet me for coffee, okay? And you won’t regret it.”

Ava says nothing. JC pushes back from their table and smiles, hooking his hands back around the straps of his bag. His eyes wander to Beatrice and he nods politely before turning in a lazy circle and heading back through the crowd as the student center starts to fill up as afternoon classes.

Beatrice looks away instantly, busying herself with adjusting her notebook. It doesn’t need to be straightened out. In fact, she pushes it out of place and the pen Ava loaned her starts to roll across the table towards the edge. She reaches for it at the same time as Ava does.

Their fingers tangle and the pen is trapped under Beatrice’s palm. She pauses, every nerve exposed, and looks up to find Ava already looking back at her.

She smiles, mouth still wound too tight. “I’ve got it.”

“Do you?” Ava asks curiously.

Beatrice frowns, looking down. Their fingers are still slotted together, still laced over the pen. Of course she has it. It’s right there, scratching blue ink against her palm.

“Because it seems like you’ve lost everything else,” Ava continues. “Like your cool, for instance.”

She pulls back minutely. “My-” Her eyes narrow. “What do you mean by that?”

Ava shrugs a shoulder. She only does that when she has a secret, when there’s something that Beatrice missed, a cue she didn’t read. “You do like a free pastry,” she mocks, her voice pitched low in a terrible approximation of Beatrice’s accent. “What gotten into you?”

“Oh.” Beatrice bristles. “Well, you do.”

“I know that. You know that.” Ava pauses. “Why does JC need to know that?”

Beatrice doesn’t have a good answer for that. So she makes one up. “Your potential suitors will need to know things about you. That is less a trivia fact and more of a necessity.”

Ava snorts loudly. Beatrice looks around, but no one seems bothered by the sudden noise. “My potential suitors?” She shakes her head. “Bea, honestly. No one talks like you do.”

She doesn’t make it sound like an insult. She never does, never has. She seems more entertained than anything, but not in a way that makes Beatrice uncomfortable or self-conscious. It makes her feel seen. And she loves to be seen by Ava. It uncoils some of the tension in her shoulder that she knows is radiating into her hand, tense under Ava’s touch.

Ava doesn’t move her hand. “Well, thanks to you, I think I’m going on a date tonight.”

Thanks to me. Thanks to the way she said Ava would enjoy herself. Thanks to her, Ava is meeting someone who isn’t her for a coffee at Ava’s favorite cafe where she only brings Beatrice. One of our places, Ava always tells her with a smile.

“You can say no,” she reminds Ava, her whole body locking up again.

Say no, say no. She feels each word burn in her throat. But why would she? Why would she pick someone like JC over me?

Ava is still looking at her curiously, head tipped slightly as she studies her face. Beatrice holds still, face perfectly impassive from years of practice. She doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, doesn’t open her mouth and tell Ava that JC seemed nice but she deserves something better than nice; something spectacular.

Then again, she’s not sure that Ava would feel that way about her.

So she forces her face to relax. Works through each muscle until she’s smiling slightly and nods encouragingly. “But if you like him and can see yourself enjoying your time, you should say yes.”

“Do you want me to?”

The question cuts through her with the intensity of a perfect lightning strike. She pulls back slightly, the only indication Ava’s hand tightening over hers when it starts to slide away. Ava’s face has gone from curious to a level of seriousness usually reserved for her more difficult homework assignments, or when she’s trying to figure out something Beatrice said.

“I don’t… I don’t think that’s my decision.”

“Well, you’re my best friend.”

Beatrice has never hated a description more in her life. She fights the visceral reaction she feels come alive in her chest. She is Ava’s best friend. She’s admitted that more times than her parents have told her they love her. The first time had been a surprise to both of them, almost too soon after Ava moved in. But it felt natural. Ava slotted into the unknown hole in her life like she had always been there.

But she’d set their whole foundation on fire if it meant one day she could be Ava’s best friend and, and, and.

She widens her smile, feeling like she’s playing a part. “Of course. But I suppose… Well, there’s no harm in trying, is there?”

Ava’s hand slides away now and the feeling that she said the wrong thing rushes in on her.

“A very diplomatic answer, Beatrice.” She pats the top of Beatrice’s hand before she pulls it into her lap. “Remind me again why you’re not running for student government?”

Beatrice doesn’t smile. She simply touches her notebook, arranging it’s already perfect line. She looks down at the chunky-tipped blue pen sitting on the page, so out of place against the neat, thin, black lines of her notes. Suddenly the idea of writing with it feels overwhelming.

“I think we better get to lunch.” She puts the pen in front of Ava. “Camila said she was going to meet us there.”

She needs the buffer, needs to put space between them. Camila is the perfect distraction. Mary and Shannon would know instantly that something was wrong - and they’d corner her until she said what. But perhaps they might not; Shannon seems supernaturally in tune with her and there’s rarely a thing she needs to tell her. Lilith would read Beatrice’s hesitation and be annoyed. Or think it’s Ava’s fault and be cagey when she doesn’t need to be. Camila would be too polite to acknowledge the tension Beatrice knows is radiating off her.

Ava, mercifully, doesn’t argue with her or point out that Camila isn’t meeting them for another 15 minutes and the walk only takes 5. She pockets the pen again and packs her things away, waiting for Beatrice to zip her bag closed.

They walk inches apart, shoulders to themselves. It’s the longest 5 minutes of Beatrice’s life.

The door opens slowly. Beatrice looks up from her book, the one she’s been reading since Ava left; the one she hasn’t been reading at all. Ava slips through it, back turned to close the door quietly behind her. When she turns to the living room, she gasps.

“Beatrice.”

Beatrice blinks. “Why are you sneaking back in?”

Ava is still taking deep breaths, hand pressed to her chest. “I thought you’d be sleeping.”

“At…” Beatrice checks her phone, frowning. “Eight o’clock in the evening?”

The tips of Ava’s ears go red just enough for Beatrice to notice. “Well. I didn’t look at the time.”

Beatrice looks out the window at the golden sunset. “It’s still light out.”

“You’re an early sleeper.” Ava sounds like she’s grasping at straws, the pitch of her voice rising.

“Not that early,” Beatrice says flatly. She slips her bookmark into her book, grateful to be closing it. “8 hours a night are important, but if I went to sleep at this hour, I’d be up at four in the morning. That’s too early, even for me.”

Ava toes off her shoes, kicking them towards the shoe rack at the door. One of them lands on the rack but the other bounces off it and away. Ava sighs, fixes it, and runs a hand through her hair when she straightens up.

“How-” Beatrice stops. She suddenly needs to be busy, needs to have her hands moving. She could open her book again, thumb through the pages. But tea sounds better. She stands, crossing to the kitchen and filling the electric kettle.

“I got you a coffee.” Ava pulls out a stool tucked at the breakfast bar, leaning forward with her chin in her hands. “But some kid on a skateboard crashed into me when he cut a corner and took the coffee down with him.”

Beatrice pulls two mugs out the cabinet, dropping a tea bag in each. “Are you okay?”

“Just my pride.” Ava shrugs when Beatrice looks back. “But I’m disappointed. I got you a mocha chip frappuchino. Lucy put in extra chocolate chips.”

Something flutters in Beatrice’s chest, a sudden thought that overwhelms her: maybe Ava does these things because she feels it too. She pushes it down and smiles. “I do like when Lucy makes my drinks. But, maybe next time.”

Ava is quiet long enough that Beatrice wonders if she left. The kettle starts to whistle and she fills the mugs, balancing them carefully as she carries them to the counter Ava hasn’t moved from. She’s just uncharacteristically quiet. She hums a thank you and curls her hands around the mug, hissing when she finds it’s too hot.

Beatrice can’t help the fond smile; Ava is always rushing into things.

It’s why Beatrice knows Ava doesn’t feel the same way. She’s not rushing into this, not caught up in a whirlwind like she is with everything else.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how my date was?” Ava finally asks.

I don’t want to know.

“How was your date?” she asks politely.

Tell me it was the worst date you’ve ever been on. Worse than the one you told me about where the boy slurped his pasta and sauce got everywhere; worse than the one where the girl tried to cast a love spell on you.

Ava shrugs. “It was… nice.” She blows on her tea. “JC is a good guy. I knew that already. But it wasn’t… groundbreaking.”

Beatrice is patient, letting her tea cool on its own. “Does a date need to be groundbreaking?”

“World-breaking.” Ava says it so quickly and fiercely, Beatrice has to blink. “It should be life-altering.”

“That seems like a lot to expect for a first date.” Beatrice points out. “At a coffee shop. With your lab partner.”

Ava shrugs. “Maybe I just have high expectations.”

Ones Beatrice can never live up to, it seems.

She smiles, hoping it looks warm and friendly. “You’ll have a hard time finding someone with an outlook like that.”

“I don’t know.” Ava takes a sip of her tea, hisses again. “I mean, a lot of things in my life have been like that. Getting out of the orphanage. Getting into school. Meeting you.” She’s staring at Beatrice now, a smile on her face.

She curls her hands around her mug and fights the way it burns her skin. She’s hardly earth-shattering, hardly worth that much. There’s no way she could be. But Ava is so earnest all the time, means things so completely. And if she’s saying that, Beatrice has to acknowledge that Ava considers her something great. A great friendship that Beatrice could never, ever risk.

But she feels herself flush all the same. “I’d hardly call it that.” She hedges around her next question. “So, no second date?”

She wonders if Ava hears the way her voice trembles; she can certainly feel it in her chest.

But Ava doesn’t seem to, too focused on taking another, slower, sip of her tea. This one apparently doesn’t scald her tongue. She grins up at Beatrice, hunched over the steaming mug. She’s brought her legs up on the rungs of the stool and her knees are around her ears. Ava clutches the mug tightly to her chest.

She’s in love with a menace.

“I don’t think so,” Ava says after a minute. “I mean, I don’t really have a reason not to, but…”

Beatrice breathes in deeply, steadying herself. She’s not a reason for Ava to say no. She knows that. “That’s not very encouraging,” she says instead.

Ava shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m not looking for anything to change right now. I want things to stay exactly as they are. Things are perfect. And if I went out with him again, I’d just be, I don’t know. Pretending.”

She takes another measured sip of her tea. She feels like she’s walking in the empty space between the points of knives. “You wouldn’t be happy.”

Ava shakes her head softly. “No, I wouldn’t be. How could I be happy if I was pretending all the time?”

Beatrice knows. Because she is. She’s pretending from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep alone and all the seconds in between. She’s pretending that everything she’s feeling isn’t consuming her from the inside out.

All the books she read as a child, all the romances novels she devoured in her bed with a flashlight illuminating the pages - none of it described the way it feels now. Love is friendship on fire had seemed like such a childish thing to say. Something arbitrary and insignificant. But now she understands what it’s supposed to mean, what she could never understand before with anyone else.

“You couldn’t,” she admits. She’s not lying.

Ava’s eyes are still piercing, still searching her face. She wonders what Ava is trying to find and she keeps the truth as far away from her as she can. Either she finds something else or she gives up, because her face breaks into two and she’s grinning.

Ava slurps her tea, smiling wider when Beatrice looks mildly disgusted. “Alright. The way I see it, we have two options: we have a sleepover night where you let me braid your hair and I let you paint my toenails.” She laughs when the mild disgust turns into outright horror. “Or, I get you back into that really nice sweater you were wearing earlier and we got off in search of a replacement mocha chip frappuchino?”

Beatrice abandons her tea almost immediately. “Do you know what time Lucy’s shift is over?”

Ava jumps off her stool, landing lightly on her feet. She doesn’t bother with sneakers, socked feet sliding into sandals. Beatrice thinks about telling her how ridiculous it looks: her mid-calf socks usually hidden by her high-top sneakers, and a pair of black slides; her jean shorts where the pocket hangs just a little too long past the hem; her crop top with How you lichen me now? hand-stenciled on the front, from the one botany club meeting she attended; her hair half-pulled back in a high top-knot; a crooked grin on her face.

She’s the most beautiful woman Beatrice has ever seen in her life.

And one day, someone else is going to get to call her theirs. Beatrice will be left with the empty space where Ava used to be, her own space in Ava’s life filled up with someone else. Someone better. Someone she wants to rush headlong into the future with. Someone she sees a world of possibilities with.

Beatrice will be happy for her. Or, she’ll exhaust herself pretending.

“Milady,” Ava says, mouth tripping over the sounds. She holds out her arm. “Will you accompany me on this chip?”

Beatrice rolls her eyes. “You hardly made an effort that time.”

Ava’s smile doesn’t falter. “One of these days, I’ll impress you, Beatrice. You’ll see.” She wags her finger at Beatrice. “And then you’ll realize how special I am. You’ll never want to lose me.”

“No,” she says quietly. Ava slips away to grab her phone, abandoned on the breakfast bar. Beatrice waits by the door, holding it open. “I don’t suppose I ever will.”

It’s inevitable. She’ll lose Ava to someone who loves her out loud, someone good enough for her. But she’s going to bury greedy hands into the moments in between and hold on for as long as Ava lets her.

“I think I’m going to tell JC it was nice, but we won’t go out again,” Ava says conversationally as they exit their apartment building, headed towards campus. “He was nice, but… I’m looking for better.”

“You’ll find it,” she says, believing it wholeheartedly. She unthinkingly maneuvers Ava around a crack in the sidewalk. “You just need to be patient.”

“Patience isn’t my strong suit.” Her hand slides to Beatrice’s, their fingers slotting together for a fleeting moment. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait. But I'll try.”

Just keep waiting. Wait forever, her mind screams. Don’t find anyone before I can be who you need me to be.

Ava takes in her silence and laughs. Beatrice frowns, not in on the joke, but doesn’t protest when Ava laces an arm through hers, pulling until their pressed together from the shoulder to their elbows, digging into each other. There’s no space between them, not for a slip of paper or a secret.

Ava hums softly, some tune Beatrice doesn’t know, but would guess is some new song on the radio that she’s never heard. Beatrice lets it bubble in her chest, sinks into it’s familiar warmth, and hopes that whatever God is watching over her lets her keep this moment for as long as she can.

And if he isn’t, she hopes he’s just not paying enough attention to realize she’s living on borrowed time and that she’s running out of it.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #forever roommates #jealousy turning saints into the sea #but also poor bea?#(as if i didn't write her into this corner)#everyone say thank you kay thank you kay #anyway let's try for a little less next time yes?

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melanieph321 · 6 months

Text

Ruben Dias x Reader - Remember You and Me Part 3/8

Summary - After a traffic accident reader is left with no memory of her life with Ruben, who desperately tries to get her to remember him.

Enjoy!

You spent most days inside because your recovery required it. You still had some aches and pain in your body, let alone in your head, so taking things easy was highly recommended by your doctors. You couldn't stand it though, being trapped in the house like an animal. On top of that Ruben was leaving you. He had previously made the choice to put his career on pause. He told you that he couldn't possibly play football knowing you were in the hospital. Now that you were out it was time for him to return. Back to his old life, hoping that you would do the same.

"My assistant will come by around three o'clock to check on you. If you need something, anything, don't be afraid to tell him and he'll get it for you."

"Okay." You nodded.

"Alright, I'll see you later tonight."

"Tonight." You confirmed.

Ruben lingered in the doorway, watching you.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, it's just..."

"What?"

"It's nothing." He muttered on his way to shut the front door.

You crossed your arms. "Ruben, if there is something you wish for me to know you should tell me."

He scratched his beard. "Fine. Usually when we say goodbye..."

"Yes?"

"Well, usually when we say goodbye you also kiss me."

You batted your eyes. "Oh."

"Obviously we won't do that now." He was quick to add. "But it's something that we usually do, like on a regular."

"I see....okay."

"Okay?"

You nodded. "If it's something that we usually do....the doctors say that old habits might help with my memory and..."

"Of course..." Ruben coughed. "Your memory."

Silence fell. It was awkward. You took a step forward. Ruben seemed hesitant at first but removed his gym bag that hung across his shoulder.

"You sure about this?" He asked, tilting his head down to look at you.

"I'm sure." You nodded. Ruben wasn't the type of guy you would usually go for, but you could definitely see the appeal in him. He was typically handsome. Well built, charming and gentle. Any girl would want to be kissed by a man like him, maybe even you.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, his breath warm against the side of your face. Ruben had gone for the kiss and to your suprise he wasn't shy about it. He sort of got lost in it and so did you. There was even some tounge in there, more from Ruben than yourself.

"I get it." You smiled. "You haven't kissed your wife in a while, no?"

He shook his head, his forhead resting against yours. "No."

You remained like that, foreheads resting against each other.

"Did you um...did you feel...or remember anything?"

You stepped back. "No. I'm sorry Ruben."

He shook his head. "It's okay. The doctors said it would come to you sooner or later."

"Right."

"I should probably..." Ruben backed away, searching for his gym bag on the floor. He draped it over his shoulder and returned to the door. "I'll see you later tonight."

"See you." You waved.

He nodded and disappeared through the door. The house fell silent as you were left behind.

What now, you asked. Whatever the doctors recommended you weren't having it. You were no animal. You were not staying at home.

You had always been a sharp and independent woman as young. Beetje stront (Little shit) your dad used to call you. The many books in your room indicated that you were even sharper than you thought. They all came from the same place, the library of the University of Manchester. Maybe that is where you were supposed to be? Maybe that's where you would find yourself again?

By foot you got as far as to the city. For some reason you remembered how to get there, but then all the traffic and busy pedestrians seemed to throw you off. You suddenly found yourself in a part of town that you didn't recognize. You tried to use your phone to navigate your way home, but the streets all looked unfamiliar and you couldn't remember the name of the street that you lived on.

"Shit."

Panicked and disoriented, you wandered the streets for hours, unsure of where you were or how to get back home. Just when you were about to give up hope, somone called your name.

"Y/N! Is that you?"

It was a woman, waving to you from across the street.

"Y/N! Oh my god, it's so good to see you!" The woman exclaimed, rushing across the traffic to hug you. "What are you doing here? Why are you all alone?"

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

The woman's expression faltered, her red lips parting in astonishment.

"I'm sorry I....Ruben told me you were out of the hospital and so I thought..."

"You know Ruben?" You asked.

"Of course I do. He and I used to...never mind. What are you doing here, are you shopping?"

"No, I'm lost and I can't find my way back home."

"I see." The woman observed you skeptically. She wore a blue dress, a long coat and a pair of high heels to go with it. She was really beautiful, you thought.

"Well let's get you back home then." She said and raised her hand to alert a taxi.

"Thank you." You said, feeling obligated to explain the situation with your memory.

The woman, who's name was Rachel, told you not to worry, or be embarrassed. "I'm a friend of Ruben's." She reassured.

"Fuck Y/N!"

It was arpund six o'clock in the afternoon when the taxi reached the house. Ruben had already returned home from training by then.

"Where were you?" He asked. "Didn't I tell you to stay inside?" Ruben was both relieved and angry to see you. Apprently his assistant had been quick to alert him of your disappearance, forcing Ruben to leave training early. He hugged you tightly, tears of relief streaming down his face. "I was so worried about you," He said, voice shaking.

"I'm, sorry."

You didn't really understand his intense reaction to your brief disappearance.

"Rachel, I don't know how to thank you." He said, moving on to kiss the red haired woman on the cheeks.

"Well firstly you can stop being such a stranger Ruben. If I would have known that Y/N was in need of getting out more I would have taken her out myself."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you. But the doctors say that she needs to rest."

You rolled your eyes hearing Ruben talk about you, making life decisions for you.

"If you say so. Just know that I'm one call away." Rachel waved goodbye. Once she left it was just the two of you again, you, Ruben and your big house.

"I'm going to bed." You announced and disappeared upstairs.

Ruben seemed like he needed time alone to cool off. You understood his concern for you but why did he feel the need to keep you locked up? A trip to the city wouldn't kill you.

Later there was a knock on your door. It was Ruben, looking ready for bed himself.

"We need to talk." He said.

You stepped aside for him to enter what used to be his bedroom too.

"What happened today can't happen again." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"Y/N, you left the house without telling me. How was I supposed to know where you went, if you were even alright."

"I'm alright Ruben, I can take care of myself."

"No you can't." He said, raising a finger for you to stay silent and just listen to him. "You still have no memory, of me or us. You couldn't even remember the adress back to our house. I can't let you go outside knowing you might be lost somewhere, wandering the streets of Manchester. That much you must understand?"

You nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry."

He sighed, running a hand down his face. "I just don't know what I would do if somthing happened to you again."

"It won't." You reassured. Seeing him like this, all shook up. It did somthing to you. Inside.

"Come here." He said, but it was more him coming to you, holding you tight, afraid of letting go.

"I did remember something." You mumbled, from beneath the pit of his strong arms.

"You what?" Ruben let go, holding arms length instead.

You smiled. "I remembered something."

"You did, well w...what was it?"

You sat down on the foot of your bed, recalling the day. "I remember wanting to go somewhere, somewhere in the city."

Ruben knelt down before you. "Okay, do you remember where or what this place looked like?"

"Yes, I think it was a school. The school you told me where I did my research. I saw myself in a lab, measuring things."

"That's great Y/N. You're starting to get memories of your life back."

"Yes, but I think what triggered it was going outside, facing the world, you know?"

"Y/N." Ruben looked worried. "The doctors said..."

"I know what the doctors said, I was there. But what if I could leave the house two or even once a week. Would it be that bad?"

Ruben looked to contemplate. If the choice was his alone he wouldn't recommend it, but somehow he knew that the choice was yours and that he shouldn't stop you.

"Okay." He nodded. "I'll call the doctors tomorrow, ask them if it's possible. If it is, then I'll arrange for someone to take you to the University twice a...."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." You rushed to hug him, his frame too solid to be moved by your sudden ambush. It felt good, hugging Ruben.

"You should get some sleep." He whispered, a hand stroking your head.

You tilted up to look at him. He was already looking down at you. Neither of you said anything although there was something you felt drawn to do. You rose to stand on your toes. Ruben caught you with a hand between your shoulder blades. The kiss was rushed but sensed long after your lips parted.

"Goodnight Ruben."

He smiled and backed away towards the door. "Goodnight Y/N. Sleep tight."

#fanfiction #football imagine #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #football angst

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xhdream · 4 months

Text

off my face in love with you (18+)

from ─ ⋆ dinna’s holiday special *ੈ✩

pairings: jungsu x fem!reader

genre: smut wc: 3k

summary: your neighbour finds out you’re alone on new years eve, because you and your bf broke up, and invites you to join his party

contains: sub!reader, unprotected sex, explicit language, alcohol consumption, body shots, light exhibitionism kink, dirty talk, pet names, ft. gaon in one scene

a/n: please, keep in mind english is not my first language, i apologise in advance for any mistakes i’ve might missed

!! this is pure fiction for entertainment purposes

For the first time you’re alone on New Year’s Eve and it feels strange.

Since your now ex boyfriend decided to cut ties with you just the day before you’re not even able to make new plans. Yes, you can easily go celebrate with some of your friends, but the thought of having to spend half the night answering everyone’s questions about why are you not with him, and why did you break up after three months, exhausted you enough already.

As you hold up your bag to search for your keys, you hear the door of the apartment next to yours unlock.

“Hey, Y/N.” The familiar voice rings nicely in the hallway. “Long time, no see.”

“Hey, Jungsu,” you say, not able to hold back from checking him out when he turns around to lock the door.

“What are you and your boyfriend doing tonight?” He asks, looking at you.

The sudden mention of your ex catches you off guard, and you stay silent for a while. You haven’t told anyone yet.

“Uhm actually… We’re not together anymore, so...”

“Oh, sorry.” Jungsu furrows his brows, and tucks hands into the pockets of his ripped jeans.

“Don’t worry about it.” You force a chuckle.

“Wait, are you celebrating alone?” He glances at the wine bottles before shooting you a questionable look.

You nod, but before you get the chance to let him know that you don’t mind it he scoffs.

“That’s not right! You should come at my place.” He takes a step forward, making the distance between you smaller. “I’m having a small party with friends it would be fun.”

“Oh, are you sure… I don’t want to—”

“Please,” he cuts you off. “You can’t stay alone on New Year’s Eve. I’d love it if you join.”

You give him a warm smile, as you hold the bottles against your chest. It sounds nice, you could really use some distraction.

You accept his invite, telling him you’ll be there.

For a moment you don’t even realise both of you are maintaining eye contact with ease. The interest you had towards him when he moved in the building last year comes back again with a spark, that has you already anticipating the night. You’ve always spoken to each other like regular neighbours even though you both attend the same university, and often times you’ve found yourself wondering about him; about his mysterious personality; about his life. But then you met your ex, and the questions you imagined one day asking Jungsu left your mind.

“Cool,” he runs a hand through his hair, heading to the staircase. “Can’t wait to see you again, Y/N.”

You watch him disappear down the stairs, and realise that there’s still something very appealing about him that seems to pull you in just as much as before.

He mentioned the party was going to be small, but it looks quite bigger than what you imagined.

“You have a lot of friends.” Your eyes roam around the room, as you both stand behind the kitchen counter.

He pours you a drink and you don’t hesitate to sip it. Jungsu is the only person you know here, and you have to loosen up. It would be nice to expand your circle, you don’t remember when was the last time you made a new friend.

“Most of them are friends from my faculty, but some of them I’m not sure I actually know to be honest. Another one?” Jungsu smirks after you nod and slide your glass towards him. “So when did you split up If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Yesterday.” You reply, looking down flustered. “But we both knew it was coming, so it feels like it’s been longer than that.”

Jungsu stays silent. He takes his drink in hand and lifts it up.

“His loss,” his softer tone gets muffled from the blasting music and everyone trying to speak over it, but you still hear him, and you instantly blush. “Cheers.”

You both swallow your second drink, and you feel how your body becomes lighter.

A dark haired stranger headed towards you with a wide grin catches your attention. He’s holding a bottle of tequila in one hand, and a colorful bowl in the other.

“Body shots!” He yells and immediately more people begin to gather in the kitchen. “Who’s going first?”

“This is my new roommate by the way,” Jungsu turns to you, then back to the guy who’s already preparing the ingredients. “You’re going to see him more often unfortunately.”

“Kwak Jiseok, my pleasure.” He winks at you playfully, jerking up the bowl.

“Y/N,” you smile, trying to figure out if your guess about what could be inside it is correct.

“Wanna go first, Y/N?” Jiseok reaches over the counter.

You gulp nervously looking at the cut up white paper. You attempt to gather the courage to just go for it. You want this night to be fun; you don’t want to hold back, because you were dumped the day before New Year’s Eve by someone who’s not even worth it.

“No pressure.” Jungsu puts a hand on your shoulder. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No,” your lips curl up, as you shove your fingers into the bowl. You pull out a sheet of paper, and Jiseok whistles excitedly while clearing up the counter. “I want to.” You meet Jungsu’s gaze for a moment, before unfolding it.

“Who are you gonna choose as your partner?” Jiseok asks.

Even if you knew some of the people in this room, you’re almost sure you would’ve still picked Jungsu.

You turn to face him with a raised brow, and he smirks in agreement. He leans against the counter, crossing arms in front of his chest.

“Great, now tell us Y/N, where are you or Jungsu…” Jiseok makes a pause for a fake dramatic moment, “… drinking from.”

You look down, almost swallowing your tongue. The more you reread the words, the more your heart speeds up its rhythm.

“Belly button.”

“Classic,” Jiseok comments while others cheer you on.

“You choose.” Jungsu says, getting rid of his sweater that was on top of a plain white t-shirt.

It seems like the better option is you to drink off of him - the shot will help you loosen up some more, and it will also let you get used to having physical contact with him, even if it’s just a little.

“I’ll take the shot.”

You try not to stare too obviously at Jungsu now suddenly shirtless. He walks past you with his toned upper body, and swiftly gets on top of the kitchen counter.

Your palms start to sweat, as you get closer, and your attention instantly fixates upon the top of his black jeans that nicely form his thighs and waist. You’re having a hard time even blinking.

“Don’t forget the lime.” Jiseok slides the plate in your direction, and you carefully grab one.

You know where to begin, you’ve seen people do this before, but Jungsu laying on full display like this slows down your actions to the point you forget what you’re supposed to do.

When you guide the piece to his mouth, Jungsu parts his lips, taking it between his teeth.

You continue onto the next step by licking over the surface of his chest. You run your tongue without putting too much thought into where exactly - every part of his naked skin excites and intimidates you the same way. You sprinkle salt on the same area, then grab the bottle to pour the booze in his navel.

Blocking out the view of multiple eyes following your every action, you lean over to lick off the salt with the top half of your tongue before going for the shot.

Droplets of tequila slide down Jungsu’s lower abdomen when you begin lapping it up. The burning sensation invades your mouth the more you slurp of the drink, trying to swallow all of it as quickly as possible.

After you’re done with the shot - your lips marking his skin with one last kiss at the end - you shift position in order to take the pulp side of the lime wedge from his mouth into yours.

At this point your body is so electrified you move as if you’re on autopilot mode with everything feeling as strong as ever at the same time.

Jungsu feels your soft lips gently touching his, as you lean in to pull the lime away. Some of your sweet scented hair falls to tickle his face, but he completely ignores it when he feels your hand unintentionally brush over his belt, as you hover over him.

He sits up, watching you suck the citrus fruit with your eyes squeezed while the audience applauds your performance.

“Well done,” Jiseok whistles, this time handing the bowl to his roommate. “You’re next.”

Jungsu doesn’t waste time in shuffling the papers, and instead pulls the first one he touches.

“Chest,” he tosses the paper onto the surface. One word, but it made his skin run dangerously hot.

He has to admit, something in him shifts after you quietly and without hesitation jump on the counter and sit in front of him with your legs dangling on both sides of his body. Your eyes sparkle with subtle delight, but also something more.

“I’ll have to take this off.”

“Do it,” you tell him with a little courage from the liquor.

Jungsu opens up your shirt one button at a time until it falls off your shoulders, and his gaze captures the arousing sight of your breasts inside the pretty lace.

When his tongue finds a spot on your neck you instantly get covered in goosebumps. It’s like he pressed a button inside you, that doubled the arousal lingering under your skin.

For this step one lick is enough, but Jungsu makes another stripe, and another, until they turn into a soft nibble, that really allows him to get a taste of you. The texture, the sweet taste, and the way your breaths hitch under his mouth, they’re all so addictive he finds it difficult to stop.

After he pulls away he notices that your face got even redder than it was a moment ago, but you couldn’t control it - every time no matter if it’s physical or eye contact that you two make, your heart skips a beat.

He carefully creates a trail of salt on the wet side of your neck, then lets you bite on the lime, before giving you a signal to push your boobs together. The liquor falls into your cleavage, forming a pool of alcohol Jungsu couldn’t wait to drink from.

In a matter of one second he licks off the salty trail, then buries his tongue into the crook of your breasts, slurping the shot and simultaneously sucking on your skin. Your brain turns into mush from the unison of all the things he does with his mouth, and the multiple different feelings they awaken inside you. If this is how he drinks a body shot, then how does he kiss?

A moment later he nips on the lime wedge, but instead of pulling, he leaves the piece to rest between your teeth, as he sucks on it, subtly touching your lips with his.

If it wasn’t for the booze that gradually helped you become more shameless, you would’ve contained yourself from letting the lime fall from your mouth, so Jungsu can press his lips into yours. You make the first move, but he’s the one to deepen the kiss right away.

Once you begin to move in sync, exchanging alcoholic taste and saliva between sloppy kisses, the adrenaline really hits you. You’re in need of more touch; more closure; more him, so your legs wrap themselves tight around his lower body.

His hands move up your thighs, eventually crawling up your bare spine. They brush over your bra, while yours get lost into his hair.

At this point both of you are completely numb to your surroundings; the only thing you could feel outside your bodies was the thick sexual tension in the air, that’s also more than obvious for everyone else in the room. You hear whistles from different directions; whispers and excited chatter, but they all fade down when Jungsu speaks against your ear.

“Let’s go somewhere more private.” The tipsiness starts to creep into his voice, and now it sounds low and even more seductive. “Unless having an audience is what you want. I won’t judge.”

“No… Only you.”

Jungsu’s lips curl up from satisfaction. He wants you; a lot, and he was ready to have you right there and then if he had to.

“Just asking,” he says, peeking at Jiseok who’s trying to distract people from staring at you too much. “Thought you might be into it since I’ve witnessed a few of your fucks.”

You stare at his smug smile, trying to make sense from his words.

“You’re vocal, sweetheart.” Jungsu chuckles meeting your wide eyes.

“You’ve heard us have sex?” You cover up your blushed face after he nods at you amused. “Oh my god, this is embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Jungsu takes your hands, pulling them down with a gentle grip. “I like your voice… I like it a lot.”

It doesn’t take long for both of you to move to his bedroom.

While Jungsu locks the door, you take off your pants and lay down on the bed, eager to feel him on top of you.

When he turns around his jaw drops, not expecting to see you already in your panties for him. The corners of his eyes crinkle, as he watches you spread your legs seductively.

“Aren’t you coming?” You tease him, tilting your head to the side. It seems like he unbuckles his belt too slowly, and as if it takes him extra time to walk to the bed.

Or your desire for him has just reached its highest point.

“I am.” He smirks, still eating up your curves with his gaze. “You’re so beautiful…” His weight falls slightly on top of you, as he settles between your legs. “I’ve wanted to tell you that the day I saw you for the first time.”

You think of asking why he didn’t, but the urge to kiss him is stronger, and you smash your lips against his mouth. His palm travels all over your body, from your thigh to your breasts and neck; the more he touches you, the more your desire builds up, leading you into swaying your hips.

Jungsu slides down your underwear with one hand, and when he finally reaches for your sensitive spot you cannot help, but moan right away.

He rubs slow gentle circles on your clit, making you not only more wet, but also more needy and impatient. Because of that, you’re the one to break the kiss, arching your spine.

“Jungsu…”

Hearing you moan his name makes him instantly smile in the crook of your neck, as his lips brush against your skin. His fingers speed up their pace, as he begins to cover you in wet smooches. He sucks aimlessly, creating scarlet patches on the surface of your neck, simultaneously groaning at the increasing pressure in his pants.

Soon enough he lets his fingertips glide down to find your soaked entrance.

“F-Fuck…” Your voice comes out desperate; deep from your throat like you’ve been starving for touch and attention.

The way he bents them swiftly before pumping them furiously inside you makes your mouth open for a silent wail. Going silent for a moment helps you notice how the squelching pool of arousal fills the room with lewd noises.

“Ah, baby… You feel so good,” Jungsu grunts, biting the sensitive flesh under your ear. “So tight… Can’t wait to fill you up with my cock.”

His comments turn your head even more woozy than it already was, and you keep your eyes shut.

Jungsu lifts up to kneel between your legs. You squirm so much, and your head is constantly moving and tilting left to right, as if you’re dreaming. As he keeps up the steady pace of his fingers moving in and out of you, he decides to double the sensation by using his other hand to stimulate your clit.

He rubs the soft bundle of nerves with three fingers in a pretty quick way, that has you gripping on the cushions.

“Ahh, d-don’t stop, p-please, Jungsu… please…”

When you feel you’re about to crumble, you hurry to cover your mouth with your palms.

No one can hear you from the loud gathering on the other side of the door, but you’ve never felt the need to cry out so much before and you weren’t sure how to handle it.

Jungsu makes sure to not stop thrusting as you go through your climax. He gnaws on his lips, as your tight pussy keeps his fingers nicely sucked in with its intense pulses. He’s knuckles deep, and the squelch from the slipping pleasure is like music to his ears, while you on the other hand are feeling so ecstatic that you don’t even notice it anymore.

He takes out his fingers all sticky with strings of your arousal. Your thighs tremble as he spreads them in teasingly slow motions.

“Did you like it?” He asks, enjoying how wet you are.

“A lot,” you say through a raspy voice.

After he takes off his boxers Jungsu sees you sitting up.

“Wanna get on top of me?” He raises a brow, hoping you’ll say yes, although it’s written everywhere on your face.

You nod, biting your lip.

The second you sit on his erection, you both gasp in sync at how amazingly it fills you with ease. You reach behind your back to remove your bra.

Jungsu humms satisfied to finally see what’s underneath.

You watch him lower his attention to your hips rolling up and down his length, that’s making you feel warmer with each passing moment.

“Mhmm, baby… feels so good,” he groans, shutting his eyes, but not letting go of your waist. His fingers grip harsher from the on going gentle sounds you produce, getting him more worked up.

His cockhead presses lightly against your cervix, teasing the warm knot that’s forming in his tummy, but it’s not enough; he needs more than that.

Jungsu pulls you by the arms, and you gasp surprised to suddenly drop on both palms. Your fingers instantly grip the cushion for support when he gropes your butt cheeks, separating them as much as possible, and starts fucking up into you with force.

“Fuck, J-Jungsu—“

His hands hold you steady in place, letting his cock move in and out of you from the perfect angle.

The pleasure intensifies with every thrust against your sweet spot. It invades your entire body, and you begin to sweat everywhere. The only thing that hasn’t melted away from your mind is the realisation that you’ve never felt anything like this before. The delight is so strong, so satisfying and it only keeps getting better to the point you feel there’s a possibility of you braking down.

“J-Jungsu.. gonna… I—“

The cushion muffles your whine when his hips freeze while yours are pushed all the way down his cock, kept steady in one place.

Jungsu pants heavily in your ear from delaying his climax.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” He caresses your hair after one of his hands moves up your back. “But I want to feel you a little bit longer.”

He humms in bliss from the way you clench around him, as you rest on top of his chest. He keeps twitching and teasing your walls too; you’re both so close to cumming, but if you do, you know you’ll have to return to the party.

Just when Jungsu shifts his feet to start moving again, you unexpectedly speak out.

“I lied,” you mutter, lifting a little bit to face his confused expression. “Not to you, to my ex. All of my orgasms were fake.”

Jungsu’s suspicious features soften after you finish your sentence.

“I had to pretend every time and finish myself off while he was in the shower.”

He blinks at you a few times, as his pretty reddened lips slid upwards the more you speak. He cannot resist the laughter, remembering all the times he heard you acting your orgasms from the other side of the wall. You did an impressive job.

The lazy laughter slips from his lips, and it sounds so addictive you can’t help, but laugh along with him. You manage to catch your breath after his hands cup your warm face.

“I won’t let this happen to you again, beautiful.”

As your bodies stick to each other from sweat, he gently moves your hips up a bit, and wraps his arms tightly around your figure. His eyes stop on your soft parted lips, and drink from your whimpers after his cock meets your g-spot once again.

This time the rush comes in an even more overwhelming wave. It washes over you, forcing Jungsu to quicken his hips as much as possible.

You cuss under your breath when his hand grabs a handful of your hair to pull on. The rough, but still gentle action makes the sensation even better. You don’t even realise when you’ve started whining his name again, but Jungsu did. It sounds so captivating coming from your mouth in such weak pleasing melody.

He can get used to it.

“F-Fuck… Should I…”

“Cum inside me,” you cut him off. “Please, cum inside me, Jung—“

Jungsu buries his face against your neck. Your skin muffles his last few moans, as he shoots his orgasm the second he hears your begging. His fingers grip on your hair and hips harshly, as you reach your peak not long after. Your walls hug around him tightly from overstimulation while he loads up your hole with his warm essence.

It feels heavenly. Your heart races so quick, as if it’s close to bursting from having to bare such intense emotions.

You’re not able to resist the temptation to glide on Jungsu’s length a few times, feeling his cum spill from you all the way down.

You look into each other’s faces - flushed, woozy and glistening from sweat and lust.

Your eyes widen at the same time when you hear everyone from the living room starting to count the remaining seconds to midnight, and the sound of the fireworks exploding in the sky.

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

#dinna’s holiday special #xdinary heroes smut #xdinary heroes hard thoughts #xdinary heroes hard hours #xdh smut #xh hard hours #jungsu smut #jungsu hard thoughts #jungsu x reader #xdinary heroes x reader

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allyricas · 11 months

Text

Moving On pt. 2

part one

3,180k words

The day of the trip to Indy finally arrives and the weather does not reflect the excitement Steve feels as he loads his last bag into the trunk of his car. He knows he overpacked but wants to be ready for anything. He also has a cooler full of drinks and sandwiches along with enough junk food to make anyone sick.

He and Robin had decided to make sure they had plenty of food so they could settle in to their hotel and chill the first night. Robin had an early campus tour and Steve had a meeting with an advisor at the community college he’d be taking his cosmetology courses. They had a packed schedule considering they needed to find an apartment and jobs (together if possible) and the urge to scope out the gay scene. Or find it, at the very least.

Steve pulled into Robin’s driveway and saw that she’d also slightly overpacked. Two halves of the same soul, the two of them. He got out and helped her load up her bags. She was holding a thermos of something and wearing a pair of Steve’s sweatpants. That’s where those went. He’d been looking for them for a week. Robin had a tendency to steal his clothes which mostly just made Steve feel all loved and shit, so he only complained for appearance’s sake.

“Rob, my fucking sweatpants. Come on, I’ve been looking for them.” He whined. He truly didn’t mean it all.

“Shut up, they are my pants now. They look hotter on me.” She laughed, doing a pathetic little shimmy. She was not a morning person. The messy bed head and the large amount of coffee she was inhaling made this apparent. “I am so tired, but really fucking excited. I brought the music. You are banned for the entire drive up and back. I will fucking jump out of this car if you play any sad, pining music. This is fun time not sad boy time.”

“That tape has Whitney and George Michael on it. It’s not a total sad fest.”

“Liar. You cry the most whenever careless whisper comes on.” Robin replied viciously.

“Let’s uh, not talk about that please.” Steve knew he was still whining a bit, but Robbie was mean in the morning.

The drive up went smoothly despite the terrible weather. Fifteen minutes into the drive, it started to torrentially rain. Thunder shook the car and lightning lit up the sky. Robin did in fact have all upbeat music and refused to let Steve play anything remotely sad. This was good as he was feeling rather happy in the moment. At one point it rained so hard, Steve had to pull over and wait for it to slow down as Robin started hyperventilating. What should have been an hour and fifteen-minute drive took three hours, but time spent with his best friend was always good.

Navigating the city was invigorating (for Steve) and anxiety inducing (for Robin), but they both could barely contain their excitement when they finally pulled up to the motel they're staying at. It’s a little mom and pop place that Joyce and Hop had recommended. Why those two have a favorite motel in the city, Steve doesn't want to think to much about.

It’s a cute place, white shutters and soft yellow paint with a rustic looking sign that says The Mosey Inn. The rooms were entered from the outside, with parking all around the place. There were plants everywhere and everything had a well-loved appeal. It’s a rather nice little place. He goes in to check them in and there is an older woman at the desk. She's one of those people who radiates kindness and Steve likes her right away.

“Hello there, dear. Welcome to the Mosey Inn. I’m one-half of Mosey, but you can call me Elise.” She’s smiling softly at him as he walks up to the desk.

“Hi, I have a reservation for Harrington. For a suite with two queens.” He finds he’s nervous which feels silly. He grew up checking into hotels and dealing with reservations. Usually, it was at swanky hotels that his parents would leave him in before he was old enough to be all alone at home.

“Of course, sweetie. Joyce and that sweet Jimmy told me all about you the last time they visited for the weekend. I just adore them. Jimmy did some handy work for me and the missus last time they were here. We’re getting up there in age and my Maggie cannot be climbing ladders anymore. I always give them a discount and I like the look of you, dear. I’ll give you one too.”

She’s beaming at Steve like she is thrilled to meet him which is not something he’s exactly used to. He’s thinking over what she said. The missus, her Maggie. He looks around the room and spots a tiny pink triangle on a bookshelf. Oh. This was a safe place. He owed Hop and Joyce dinner because this was the nicest surprise he’d gotten in a long time. He'd definitely be calling Hopper by the nickname Jimmy though.

“Thank you so much, ma’am. I know my friend Robin and I are going to enjoy this trip even more now knowing this is a safe place for people like us.” That felt as close to telling a stranger he was gay he could manage, but it felt huge to say it. It meant something to find this little piece of community with two women who were old enough to be his grandmothers. He felt like he might cry and for once, there were happy tears brimming in his eyes.

“Please, call me Elise. There’s no ma’am, none of that uppity nonsense. This place is for friends, you understand.” She told him in a voice so genuine that Steve choked back a sob. He handed over his credit card and she handed him two room keys. “We offer breakfast and lunch, usually buffet style unless we say otherwise. There’s a coffee station around the corner and there’s always some sort of snacks next to it. If you need anything just give us a ring. Feel free to come chat anytime. Enjoy your stay.”

“I think I will, Elise. I’ll bring Robin around to meet you once we’re settled, probably for breakfast tomorrow!”

_________________________________________

As soon as Steve got back into the car, he excitedly told Robin all about Elise and her partner and how the Inn was a safe place for them. The fact that Joyce and Hopper stayed here whenever they wanted a night or two away from the chaos of their little blended family filled Steve with joy. He knew that they weren’t hateful people, but this was outright acceptance by the adults he respected most in his life. Robin was rambling on about the décor of the inn as he lugged their many suitcases into their room. She just smiled at him as he struggled.

It was cozy with two queen beds and a little kitchenette and a sitting area off to the side. There was a good size bathroom and closet. It was decorated in soft hues of yellow and green with floral bedding. It was lovely and Steve felt immensely at home in this place.

“This place is so cute!” Steve exclaimed happily, finally collapsing onto his bed. It was comfortable too. “Damn, this is going to be a nice trip. Elise said they offer 2 meals, that there’s a coffee station with snacks and this bed is fucking soft as hell.”

“So basically, we can save a ton of money and try to eat here most of the time is what I'm hearing you say Steven?” This seemed to genuinely thrill Robin.

“Absolutely, we can go visit with them tomorrow during breakfast. It’s from 6:30 to 8:30.” Steve knew this was going to cause some mild stress for Robin. This delighted him.

“Ugh, ugh. For free breakfast and fellow lesbians, I will get up. You might have to drag me though.”

Steve laughed, delighted at the prospect of waking Robin up in the morning. It was early evening, but they decided to munch on the leftover food from the drive in and relax. There was a small tv, so they found something to put on and got comfortable. The day so far had been nearly free of sad thoughts over Eddie, but it seemed inevitable that Steve would start to think about him. For one thing, Eddie would look ridiculous in the Mosey Inn, although he would thoroughly appreciate the pun. Yet, there was a part of Steve wishing that Eddie was a part of all of this.

Before he’d ruined everything, Eddie would have been invited on this trip without a second thought. If only he could go back and not fall in love with stupid Eddie Munson. Steve worries that falling for him would have been inevitable though. Everything about him made Steve crazy.

The moment he knew he was monumentally fucked was a few months after everything with Vecna went down. Eddie had still been in the hospital, thankfully cleared off all charges with Hopper back in charge. He’d been high off his ass on morphine and smiling at Steve. Eddie had looked at Steve and said, “Stevie, sweetheart—you beautiful man. How come you’re always sitting around here taking care of me huh?” and Steve had known several things.

He wanted Eddie to smile at him like that for the rest of his life. He really enjoyed being called sweetheart. And the reason he was always hanging around was because he wanted to be with Eddie. Eddie who always lit up with joy when he saw Steve sitting by his hospital bed. All the time they spent walking that line between friends and more, or at least that’s what Steve thought.

He swore there was so much flirting back and forth. Like the time Steve snuck in cheeseburgers, fries and milkshakes from the one diner left open in town and Eddie had told Steve, “All this for little old me?” while literally twirling his hair like a schoolgirl. Or when Steve brought in books for him and Eddie had just clasped Steve’s hand tight and said nothing, just staring intently at him like Steve really meant something to him.

All misread apparently. It wasn’t flirting at all, just Eddie being Eddie. And Steve had ruined it. He tried not to spiral into his bad thoughts too much but he felt like he always ruined everything. Robin might be his best friend, his platonic soulmate and other half, but it’d been so nice to have a close guy friend.

Eddie had barely been out of the hospital when Steve had driven him up to Indy to replace some of his things lost to the earthquakes. There were better record stores and better thrift stores, and Eddie had very little left to his name. The trailer was gone. He’d even lost his beloved guitar. Steve had never planned on telling Eddie how he felt during that trip, but Eddie has a way of needling things out of people. Something Steve usually finds quite adorable, but not so much when it’s his own unrequited feelings.

Sighing to himself, Steve sits down by the phone to call Dustin and tell him they made it to the city safely. This means actually calling Mike’s house since the boys are having their weekly nerd fest. The whole group of them are all a little codependent, but after everything they’ve been through it seems reasonable. Unfortunately, Mike nor Nancy answers the phone. It’s Karen Wheeler and she lets Steve know that the boys are all over at Eddie’s apartment playing their little game. That’s exactly what she calls it which does make him chuckle.

He dreads calling Eddie’s place, but he did promise Dustin he’d call. Dustin is already asking questions about him and Eddie. If he’s weird on the phone it will only fan the flames of Dustin’s incessant need to meddle. He dials the number and tries to psyche himself up for the interaction. Maybe one of the kids will answer.

“Munson Residence, Eddie the Banished speaking?” Eddie’s voice fills Steve’s ear. It’s like a punch to the gut, but Steve takes a deep breath.

“Is that how you really answer the phone all time or am I just lucky?” Steve asks lightly. Do not make this weird. Be cool. “Or is it just because you’re playing dungeons and whatever?”

“Ha, Ha. I knew it was you telepathically, so I of course had to answer the phone accordingly. My liege, what can I do for you on this fine summer evening?”

“You’re lucky it’s cute to be such a fucking nerd.” Shit, shit, shit. Abort flirting. “Kidding, kidding. I called to see if Dustin is still there. I told him I’d call when we got settled.”

“Rude, I am absolutely the cutest nerd. I’d dare say, adorable even. The fairest in the land, perhaps.” Eddie’s voice had gone low and Steve would bet a hundred bucks he was twirling his hair. What the fuck? “You know, you obviously like nerdy shit considering you-”

“Hey stop flirting with Steve and let me talk to him, I've been waiting to hear from him all day. We’re in the middle of a campaign Steve. We need our DM not whatever the fuck he was just doing.” Dustin says this all like he knows for a fact that everything he says is true. It’s not.

“Tone, dusty bun. I’m not gay and I wasn’t flirting with Harrington, just messing with him. He’s just so easy to tease. We’re just buddies like that, right man?” Eddie replied, his voice no longer soft, low and sweet. In fact, Eddie sounded hostile. Steve felt his stomach turn. He couldn't even reply.

“Nothing wrong with being gay, you moron.” Dustin replied firmly. This made Steve smile considering Dustin didn’t even know about Steve yet. He was definitely his favorite kid. Dustin continued on “I mean, we’ve fought literal monsters. Of all things to get worked up over, being gay is not even on the damn list!”

“I didn’t mean it in a rude way, just saying we were not flirting.”

“Whatever you say Eddie.”

“Um, hello guys I am still on the phone.” Steve yelled as the two of them continued to bicker. “I have to go, but I’ll call in a few days Dustin. Bye Eddie.” Steve replied, trying his best not to cry.

“Wait-Harrington. Steve, I didn’t mean anything by that okay.”

“Yeah of course, no worries, man. Talk to you later.” Steve knew his voice was emotionless.

_______________________________

He had to get over Eddie. This confusing back and forth was so painful. Steve didn’t consider himself the brightest, but that felt like flirting. What straight guy calls himself the fairest of the land or adorable to another man? Eddie’s tone of voice was the exact same tone Steve had used so many times to flirt with girls. He knew what flirting looked like. He shouldn’t have started it with the cute comment, but Eddie had most certainly flirted back. He looked over at Robin who was sitting up and waiting patiently for Steve to hang up the phone.

She looked worried. If his face was at all reflecting how he felt right now, he understood why. The way Eddie has sounded when he said he wasn’t flirting. He told Robin the entire conversation verbatim and he watched her face go through a myriad of emotions. Despite the fact that Robin wasn’t the most tactile person, she threw her arms around him and let him cry all over her t-shirt.

“Well, I could just kill him. I swear to fucking God. If he’s not gay, fine. But why flirt back?”

“Maybe he really isn’t flirting. He said he was just messing with me. Maybe we’ve been reading it wrong this whole time!” Steve cried.

“Fuck that, even Dustin called him on it. He flirts with you all the time. If he’s just messing with you at this point, it’s cruel. Especially now that he knows you’re gay and have feelings for him. I won’t be friends with a bigot.”

“No, Robbie. I don’t think he’s a bigot. He’s just trying to deal with all this. It’s not his fault I had to go and fall for him. I always fall for the first person who shows me any attention. I ruined this. He’s just...I think he’s a flirty person and I’m just the idiot who thought it meant something.”

“Shut your whore mouth Steven Elizabeth. That’s absolute nonsense. Eddie is a socially awkward, metalhead D&D playing virgin. You and I both know it. I’ve never seen him so much as look at a girl in a romantic way. He barely talks to anyone he doesn’t know unless it’s to cause a scene. That boy is not a natural flirty person. He flirts with you. He’s either an idiot, a repressed idiot or an asshole. Pick one.”

“He’s not a virgin, no way. Look at him. Some people go for the whole alternative thing. He’s in a band for fuck’s sake. I bet he’s fucked lots of girls. I mean, he is objectively hot.” Steve argued.

“Steve!! You always defend him like some sort of rabid groupie, but if that man has so much as seen a real-life titty, I will eat my shoe. He isn’t ugly, I will grant you that one. But please, Eddie Munson is not banging hot chicks on the regular.”

“I pick that he’s an idiot. I do not think Eddie would purposefully hurt me by flirting just to be all ‘ha-ha, gay boy you fell for it’ when he didn’t even know I was gay until I told him how I felt. I think he just likes to tease me, like he said and he doesn’t know how flirty it comes off maybe?”

“Dingus. You are in love with him. You are no objective source on the situation.”

“Can we just... pretend Eddie Munson doesn’t exist for a few days. I won’t play my mixtape. I will try not to mope... let’s just find an apartment and visit your campus and apply for jobs everywhere we can find. It hurts too much to talk about right now.”

Steve knows he’s lying to Robin. It’s impossible for him to pretend Eddie doesn’t exist. It’d be nice to try though. Instead of trying, he wonders what Eddie’s thinking about back in Hawkins. Is he feeling bad for how he spoke to Steve tonight? Is he also worrying over every little thing he said? Does Eddie even care that what he said felt like a slap to the face? The way he’d said Harrington, instead of Steve. The disgust in his voice when he’d said he wasn’t flirting. At least it was crystal clear that Eddie would never reciprocate his feelings. It feels nearly impossible, but Steve knows he has to let go of Eddie and move on. Two weeks in Indy with Robin should be the perfect way to start trying.

@koyislosinghismind

@lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring

@dilutedpondwater

@r0binscript

@wheatnoodle

@randomnessbecausewhynot

#somewhat proofread but feel free to point out any glaring errors and i will fix it #steddie #this is as much about steddie as it stobin lets be real #and queer joy and acceptance #angst #eddie is a bit of an ass but he's in a crisis and he will get better worse and then much better okay #steddie fic

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tearskillstardust · 5 months

Text

🎐 WINTER FLOWERS AND AUTUMN LEAVES; k. kazuha

— summary; kazuha has very little in his life to hold on to, and when love leaves his grasp, he doesn't know what to do anymore. [povs switch frequently] modern au!

— !! tw: themes of— death, suicide, depression, implied sex, co-dependency, toxic relationship. !! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. — female reader. angst and emotional content. long read under the cut.

It was midnight.

When I was born, that is.

Of course I couldn't remember it, and I bet mother lied that she could just so she didn't look like an entirely awful parent. She recited the fact it was the most beautiful day of her life because she overheard women in crowded markets say that to their little five-year-old sons, but little five-year-old me still thought I was special. Apparently, I was a handful, and nothing had changed since.

I soon realized she mixed this beautiful day up with the day my father left her, which was only a week before. They'd argued: bottles smashed, tremors, pleading, front door slammed. She shut doors with special caution for eighteen years after that, nudging them slowly as they creaked one, two, three times into the doorframe whilst gently twisting the doorknob into place as if she were waiting for someone to knock again, letting them know she'd kept the door open for so long but would still let them slip through.

I never found out what they argued about. Me, probably. The smartest thing mother ever did was never tell me.

When I was six, seven, eight, nine, and ten, I'd gotten used to taking care of my mother, tipping water down her throat, carefully, both hands, the way I should've been practising on a doll. I used to go out and spend hours in parks with kids who didn't care about me just to come home to find her scattered on the living room floor. I didn't understand. Was I meant to? Mummy, why are you sleeping on the floor? Why were you sick? It smells of vomit in here, wake up—

I didn't go out very much after that.

But school and friends peeled me away from it. It was both terrifying and refreshing. The only thing was that nobody's parents were like mine—theirs were together. Proud. But I couldn't tell if they were happy. A slice of me well-kept in the ragged pocket in my chest hoped they weren't. It was selfish of me and I knew it but each time I watched someone's parents give their child a gentle smile or pat on the back, I felt like crying my ribs sore.

'Someday, Kazuha, someday,' you often rubbed my back soothingly when it happened.

Someday, I would echo silently, and like someone descending into anesthesia, I began to count backwards.

4 months ago.

'Why do you like winters?', Kazuha had questioned you once, a few months ago, playing around with a leaf in his hand. You couldn't help but look up from your book, only to find him resting against the tree, pondering something deeply.

You stared at him for a bit, at his serene beauty that seemed to be enhanced by the sun's dying rays as they shone over him, before going right back to your book. You shrugged, 'No deep reasons, I just like daffodils I guess.'

'And why do you like daffodils?'

You huffed, irritated but affectionate in the gesture, nonetheless. It was a certain difficulty about Kazuha that made him all the more endearing— but his own habit of over-romanticizing everything never quite appealed to you, nor could you understand where it came from.

For someone who had constantly been pressurized to be the best, you had no time for poetry and art— and he was born a poet. You were thankful for his existence and his acceptance for you, but the poet inside of him could never really be accepted entirely.

You looked up finally once you were done with your page. 'Why does it matter, Kazuha?', you said, never looking directly at him as you picked a lone flower on the ground. He stared on, curious.

'Everything withers when winter passes and returns with spring. Beauty blooms in summer and dies in Autumn. Your or my own preferences don't matter, nature remains undeterred.'

'Isn't their comfort in romanticizing life, though? Finding love and loss in our twilight existence.'

'So you just want to feel loved by giving adjective to natural things?'

He laughed at the simplification. 'No, but to be more direct, since you would like that, I merely like having natural memoirs to associate people and places with, so I tag them with adjectives. Much easier for a wanderer to keep, isn't it?'

You sighed quietly before smiling softly at him. 'You're at it again? Not everyone leaves, Kazuha. Some people come in our lives to stay,'

He smiled at your words, though the smile never quite reached his eyes.

3 weeks ago.

I had always loved stargazing. There was something about staring at the stars that shape our unfortunately funny lives and still deeming them worthy of our praise. Making them the base of our adoration.

I had invited Kazuha here, and though we had talked a lot initially, which ultimately led to kissing and to confession and to this— his head on my lap as I rested against the slide of the children's park, watching with him as the night zoomed by, suddenly every possibility of the future crossed my mind and I couldn't help the curious cat inside of me.

'Why would you want to be with me?', I asked, staring down at him.

Don't get it wrong— he is the love of my life. The most beautiful person I have ever known, ephemeral inside out. Perhaps that's the problem. He is like a songbird, and I am a hunter. Horses don't befriend the grass, but I fall deeper in love nonetheless.

Sometimes I scare myself— Will I ever be able to save myself from the depths I am venturing to? Will he reach his hand out? Will I be able to see him from the depths? Will it be too—

'I love you, that's why.'

What a lie.

'Huh?' I hadn't meant to say it out loud, but it would be for the best of both of us.

'You wouldn't think of suicide and then not think of me if you really did, Kazuha.'

He had nothing to say, he quietly stared on. More startled with the knowledge of my awareness than looking for an answer.

But I could not blame him, I had nothing to say either.

I pressed my lips against his in that moment, not realizing I had been crying until he wiped the tears with his thumb. He kissed with a passion, pouring himself out, as though saying all the words through this kiss then he would ever have time to before he left. He always kissed deeply— but right now he did it as though he was desperate to tell me his tale of love.

But I had stopped believing him after a point, and my own support remained these small physical exchanges that we would have; away from the world, under the stars, hoping they would have some pity on us. On me.

'Do you really love me, Kazuha?', I asked when he pulled away, our breaths mingling in an intimate dance of fire and ice. His touch lingered a bit too long on my exposed neck, and I knew part of what was coming.

He remained quiet when I wanted him to answer, before pushing me down on the grass, continuing the kiss. I was the songbird perhaps.

Curiosity killed the cat.

1 day ago.

She wasn't the same after that.

After we slept together, that is.

I had not wanted to hurt her, but only yesterday as I thought over everything once again, I realized how selfish I was. How filthy. Her purity had always been a source of utmost awe for me, as I stared at her skin, free of sin. But it had been foolishness on my side— I should've known my hands would burn against her skin. I should've steered away, but then she stepped in the lion's den like a willing sacrifice.

My mother had said it to me once— it's easier to solve conflicts between lovers if you sleep with them, albeit half drunk.

She was wrong about it.

She was so wrong about many things.

But like a desperate man drowning in dark waters, I clawed at whatever I could take and she, the love of my life, gave me whatever she could before the waters reached waist-deep and I pushed her away.

When we shared a bed, she was the last to sleep. I wasn't a mind reader but I was nearly certain I knew her every reason for muffling her wails in her blanket. I wanted to get up and say something. But when I went to Germany, Greece, then Italy, I needed her to feel nothing but relief. The euphuism had been funny, but she saw right through it.

The moon tutted at me, the sun nearly ready to rise over her, trees leaning over in private chatter, whistling together, chiming their little criticisms as the sinners—suicide and homicide—stared at each other.

I had always dreamed of how today would be ever since I had made up my mind. Dying was never easy, no matter how badly you desired peace. Instincts could never be stopped. Drowning, cutting, burning, suffocating— I tried everything in the same order, then backwards, then all at once. But even my self-loathing was not strong enough to betray my instincts.

She found me once— laying in a pool of my own blood. I had never seen her crying before, she'd been desperate, desperate to do anything, to scream, to cry, to shout but the night was a trap on us that doused her voice and she was left with all but one person to rely on— herself, as she carried me to the hospital.

If the Hindus were right, I was worthy of being a Hemlock in my next life. Cursed to eternal damnation by the gods— a life devoid of love, adoration or beauty. Only the winter for company and solace.

Such thoughts did not scare me.

She did not cry tonight, only packed her bags and left.

7 hours ago.

I folded over into her like a secret billet-doux. I was unbelievably small next to her, my words just as frail as I was. She wanted us to break up. I knew she did, I just wanted to be happy in my last breaths by playing a game of pretense.

'Can you hold me until I'm completely gone?'

Her brows furrowed, eyes devoid of their usual kindness. 'Kazuha.'

She said my name without anything attached to it, like those three syllables meant everything between ardour and despair.

'I know you hate me,' I reassured her, 'I only want to pretend I'm not alone for a moment.'

I began to cry. Am I that insignificant, God? Am I easy to kill?

But to my surprise, she let my head grate against her chest, soft fingers knotting through her jumper, crying, screaming, let it all out, I want to see you hurting darling, let everything go while I take it from you, our final reconciliation, my love.

But then she let go of me and death held me, tightly, like she was suffocating me, like this was the first and last time she'd ever hold anyone, like murder was primal and she wouldn't shy away from its beckoning voice, like a siren, a mother, a ghost, with the blade to my neck, her final judgement on her tongue—

Let go of me, my love, for this is where I die.

Now.

Autumn. His favourite.

I always had one complaint with Kazuha— he was bad with goodbyes. For someone so poetic, it was a bit ironic even, but I hated how he simply left, walked away as though that was all there was to it. He never turned and smiled, waving back gently with a promise of return, however fake might it be.

Anybody would say he looked peaceful. He's poetry in a face. His lids unfold over his eyes like broken shutters, and it looks like a sigh has prised his mouth open. If you stare hard enough, it looks like he's breathing.

He didn't die like that. Death had to pull the shutters down. She had to draw his mouth shut, but the wind seized it again. She had to scrub the tears and saliva from her skin. Otherwise, it looked like a struggle. It wasn't. He'd given in and told me not to interfere.

As I stared at his coffin, his resting place, I couldn't help but feel repulsed at the muddy brown. It takes place in a church, like most things do. According to Kazuha, his mother is God-fearing, although I don't think he meant it in the conventional sense. Rose just dreads what God will do to her for all her sins, not that she ever made an attempt to repent. The woman is a filthy hypocrite like all cowards are. In turn, her son was taken from her.

Quel dommage.

Surprisingly, I didn't find tears to cry. I came for the same reason as everybody else—curiosity, guilt; not love though. Very few attended because everyone liked Kazuha. It was like he was a discarded newsprint, not a person.

I had cried all I could, wanted to, weeks ago. I knew what was coming— so did he. Neither of us cried when we accepted our fates because we had read it under the stars we made love under for so long. There wasn't guilt in him as he sinned, which made him so corrupt— and there wasn't regret in me as I turned away, which made me, oh, so pure.

I felt violated.

I don't mention it when I visit his grave, though. I hadn't come to hate him, he was wrong about that I'm afraid. I had come to see him for who he was— pure as a fire but feeding on impure things, and I prayed for hours, hands folded, knees scraping against cold, harsh marble as I cried, as I waited, only for the smallest of whispers to infiltrate my mind—

God is dead.

Should I have followed?

there we go! idk if this is exactly what anon was expecting but when i was writing fluff, i suddenly wanted to add angst and it turned into this. thank you very much for your request though! as a treat, i'll also publish some cute kazuha stuff later lmao.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #kazuha kaedehara #kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha smut #genshin angst #genshin x you #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #minors dni #anon <3

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