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fireflysummers · 9 months

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Good Omens S2

Okay so.

Excellent Job, Gaiman

Ouch???

I don't like to publicly talk about my personal life. My academic life is my professional life is my artist life. But my personal life? Not so much, outside of vignettes.

But for the past several months, I've been deconstructing a lot of personal baggage and trauma surrounding both family and religion, after leaving the cult I was raised in (mormonism).

It's terrifying to realize that the framework you built your entire self on is false. It's exhausting and painful to deconstruct that framework, to disentangle your identity in the way that won't destroy you.

And it's slow.

Nobody ever tells you how slow it is to heal. You can't control the rate you heal either. You just have to be patient with yourself, and give yourself an environment where that healing can occur safely and naturally.

Anyways.

Good Omens, and its weird tendency to be exactly what I need when I need it.

I first read Good Omens in high school. And honestly, I didn't quite get it, at the time. I only knew it was different from every other book I've ever read, one that didn't treat religion as stupid or trivial, but also one that called out the blatant hypocrisy and control tactics involved. It helped me safely challenge a status quo I hadn't even realized existed.

I first watched Good Omens partway into my Master's Degree. It was everything that I could've hoped for. I understood the book a lot better, but the TV adaptation captured my struggles with mental dissonance, trying to understand and accept the parts of my identity that I was taught God didn't want.

I watch S2 a year into my doctoral program. I'm out of the cult, and it's exhilarating and painful and scary and fun, but I can still feel the scars its hooks left when they were torn out.

I feel like S2 Aziraphale is in about the same place. He's exploring his freedom, but also trying to reorient himself. He's trying to let himself be. He's healing, but his boundaries got overridden due to circumstances out of his control (naked Gabriel). He's been pulled back into the gravity of the abusive system he tried to escape, given a carrot on a stick, and isn't yet healed or strong enough to resist.

On top of that, Aziraphale is still holding onto the hope that the problem was bad individuals, not a corrupted system. He thinks if the leadership is different, things can change. He thinks if he had more authority in the system, he could make things change. And... that's not how it works.

And Crowley. Dear Crowley.

He wants Aziraphale to be farther along in his healing than he is. Honestly, Aziraphale wants it too. But again, you cannot force this kind of healing, even when it results in a loved one making some truly stupid decisions.

Crowley sees the system for what it is. He's already deconstructed that part. But he hasn't really started addressing his own trauma. He's hinged his entire existence on Aziraphale, on being what Aziraphale needs, that he hasn't allowed himself to heal either. And Aziraphale, who is vulnerable and healing, is not able to provide the support that Crowley would need to recover safely.

Which is why them separating is probably the best thing for both of them.

It won't be permanent.

But they don't communicate, and their relationship while delightful and beautiful risks unhealthy codependency that prevents either from really growing or healing.

Anyways, what I really hope to see next season is Aziraphale's realization that the system never had his back. That the system is what's wrong, and that he can't win by playing at respectability politics or gaining a higher status within it.

I want Aziraphale to get angry.

He deserves it. He's tried so hard. He thinks he's lost Crowley over it.

I want him to feel the gut-wrenching despair of realizing how conditional and fleeting the system's version of love is, and I want it to turn into a rage.

But not a destructive rage--the sort of anger that Pratchett ascribes to himself and many of his works. The sort of anger that fueled Discworld and Good Omens. The sort that can be finessed into a weapon and a shield, that can be used to protect the people who truly love you.

For millennia we see Crowley fighting for Aziraphale.

For Season 3, I want to see Aziraphale fighting for his demon.

For him to apologize, without the expectation that Crowley will come back, but because he was wrong and Crowley needs to know it. To not expect forgiveness, not even think he deserves it.

And then for Crowley--who is trying to hide his heart eyes at seeing his avenging angel coming to save him for once, who he can tell immediately has changed, and is finally going Crowley's speed)--for Crowley to give that forgiveness, without strings attached.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #long post #text #religious trauma #religious abuse #recovery

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merakiui · 8 months

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intermission yandere!azul thought: azul thought he lost you when his parents divorced, but a chance reunion during breeding season convinces him of fate. a long-buried love resurfaces and with it the mounting greed and desire.

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stepcest, nsfw, female reader, breeding/oviposition, gentle dub-con/coercion, obsession, one-sided attraction in which azul loves you, but you only see him as family, characters written as 18+)

When his birth parents first married, Azul's father had been caring for you, a daughter who had come from another set of parents, found drifting on a lone current. Aged two, you were the sweetest fry his mother had ever seen and she gladly welcomed you into her family. A year later, Azul had been born and you were introduced to him, the both of you coddled and adored by his grandmother and other relatives alike. Your eyes glittered with awe when you peered down at baby Azul, so fragile and small in his mother's arms. A tentacle gently curled around your finger, and he stared up at you, equally amazed, his blue eyes wide with wonder.

Technically, you were his step-sister and he was your step-brother. But at such a young age, you could only comprehend simple family dynamics—the ones in which siblings came from the same mother and were thus related by blood. So, even though you weren't truly related in that way, that's what you were to Azul. He was your little brother and you were his big sister. The distinction in what you were never mattered to Azul. You were his family, and that was more than enough.

Growing up, he clung to you like a barnacle, never wanting to leave your side for more than a minute, a tentacle forever wrapped around your wrist or tail fin. You were inseparable, choosing to rest in the same sleeping nook, bathe together, eat meals together, explore shipwrecks and collect treasure together, and play together. He adored you, looked up to you like you were a miracle incarnate. And in that same loving manner you looked out for Azul, protected him from mean mers, assured him that you'd never leave him when he got sad, and patched him up when his clumsiness earned him all sorts of boo-boos.

Azul thought you were an angel—or something constructed from perfection, anyway. You were brilliant and wonderful, the best big sister he could have ever wished for. Every day felt like the best day of his life when he was with you. Waking up beside you and challenging each other to a race to the kitchen (even though he knew fully well that he'd lose every time). Offering you the spoils from your shipwreck adventures, where he'd drape strands of pearls around your neck and you'd do the same, always one to share. Lounging sleepily at his grandmother's tentacles and listening to her regale the both of you with stories from when she was young. She told tales of her first love, and Azul had boldly pointed at you and declared he'd marry his first love. You. His sister. It was passable then because he was little and couldn't fully understand the meaning of marriage and what it meant to settle down with someone you loved.

Love comes in many forms, and Azul couldn't grasp the differences between platonic and romantic. But back then it didn't matter because to him love was love, and you promised you'd stay with him forever. That was good enough.

But then, years later, his parents got divorced. His father took you with him, and during the process his mother fell in love with her divorce attorney. Azul never saw you again. You moved away, or so he assumed when he'd search the neighborhood for you, deceiving himself that you were still here. You wouldn't leave him. You promised.

He searched all of the places the two of you used to frequent, gradually losing hope with each day. Eventually, when the acceptance letter had come and it became apparent that he had more pressing matters to focus on, he stopped searching altogether.

Azul's older now, freshly graduated and ready to take on the world, but before that he returns to the sea. There are celebrations he must attend; he's expressed his thanks to countless congratulations already, but he doesn't mind the excess. It feeds his ego. His family is so proud, but none can be prouder than his mother, who shackles him in a loving embrace, cooing about how she remembers when he was just a little fry. Though you haven't occupied his mind in years, at the mention of childhood, he instinctively looks for you amidst the many people crowding the restaurant. You're not there. He wishes you were.

There's a lot he has to do as he works to expand the Mostro Lounge. He's purchased a property on the surface. The building is old and dilapidated, but he has a promising vision and lots of time on his hands. He'll make it work. Summer break be damned; Azul's too busy for that. But he can't leave the ocean just yet. He'd put it off with potions for as long as he could, but nature prevails in the end.

Mating season, in Azul's hateful opinion, is a scam. Merfolk exhaust all of their efforts carrying clutches, nursing them for months, before relinquishing them to fate, where it's not guaranteed that any of their fry will survive the harshness of the sea. All of that hard work and for what? The slim chance that one or two will return. Azul knows there are ways to avoid tragedy. Like laying the eggs amidst sea anemones to ward off predators who may not be immune to the sting. Even so, he doesn't understand the appeal of this gamble. Most of all, he despises it because this very gamble is the reason why, without fail, he's forced to suffer through this miserable period of biological imperative.

He gets moody, viciously so, cherishing the shadowed, tranquil loneliness inside an octopus pot. Azul greatly dislikes mating seasons because it's uncomfortable to hold in a clutch for too long, and when he's cursed with one he has no other option but to spend hours curled in solitude, hot and flushed all over, while he squirms through the all-encompassing heat. It passes after he's released every egg, and he tries not to think of what could be if he had someone to take his clutch and care for them. Sometimes he destroys the eggs, crushes them so that, at the very least, they won't become a predator's dinner. It's mostly anger and selfishness that fuel the destruction. He'd never hurt his young, but they won't survive much longer, fated to die within the next few hours. There needs to be someone else. Pairs and whatnot. Mating and bonding and all of that nonsense he scowls at. He doesn't have anyone to complete his pair.

He surmises it will be the same next season. It always is.

Azul is always so sad in the aftermath, coming down from the high to meet encroaching depression. He's a businessman; he won't have time for a family. It's impossible to settle down at this stage in his life. It's too early. Things are just getting off the ground. He tells himself these things so he can focus, but it's so difficult. He wants a family of his own. He wants to know what it's like to be loved and mated. It's not fair that others around him, mers he went to middle school with, are starting families and finding their special someone. He deserves that happiness more than anyone.

Azul is selfish and greedy to a fault, but he's romantic at heart.

Like clockwork, he slinks off to rid himself of this annual burden. On the way to his usual spot, a scent hits him. It's faint at first, but the further he swims the thicker it gets, until it nearly leaves him disoriented with dizziness. He's too dazed with instinct to think about turning the other way, pulled towards the enticing pheromones like it's flashy bait on a fishing hook. It leads him to a deep crack set into the sea floor, too slim for a human to squeeze into. But he's an octopus and it's easy to contort his limbs to fit through. It opens up to a wider space, enclosed and dark, but he can sense another mer in here.

How can he not when your smell is so strong it practically sticks to the walls?

He lights the space with magic, a soft, yellowed glow that kisses your skin like a sweet sunrise. You're curled in on yourself, gripping your abdomen and whining in discomfort. He understands the cue immediately. Your body's ready to receive a clutch, and the emptiness pains you.

Azul has tact, or so he likes to think, and he keeps himself plastered to the far end of the little cave. You sense him then, smelling his own arousal and readiness. Weakly, you lift your head, peering at him through foggy, teary eyes. It's quiet; both of you stare at one another. Azul wonders if you'll reject him, fight him, bite a chunk out of him.

Instead, you force yourself up onto your arms and mutter, "'m sorry... I'll go somewhere else..."

"Ah, w-wait!" Clumsily, his tentacle flashes out, wraps around your tail fin, and holds tight.

You look at him, the haze in your eyes clearing, and you sniff the scent on the water, your brows furrowing. Your eyes slide to the tentacle, and suddenly recognition sparks in your gaze.

"Azul?"

He blinks, his own haze clearing. "Do I know..." He gasps, flinches away from you as if slapped. "(Name)? Is... Is it really you?" His mouth is agape, eyes blown wide. Before you can answer, he hastily adds, "W-Where have you been?! I thought you'd left! Is everything okay? What have you been doing all these years?"

You nod, but he's not sure which question that nod is meant to answer. "I..." You brace yourself against the wall and shudder. "We can catch up later. Right now really isn't..." His eyes trace down your body, stopping right at your slit, which is puffy and slick and not yet claimed. You also don't have a mate. Sensing his intentions, you turn away, shielding yourself. "Now's not a good time...for either of us."

Azul reclaims your tail fin, his grip gentle, coaxing. "It's fine. Please don't leave again... You're in no condition to swim elsewhere. Some brute might take advantage of you."

"But you...have to get rid of your clutch, don't you?"

Quiet descends upon the space. Azul doesn't speak; his scent says enough.

Your eyes widen with horror. "We can't, Azul."

"(Name)—"

"We're family," you whisper, shaking your head at him. "There's no way we can do something like that!"

"But we're not! Not anymore. Mom and Dad aren't together and we've never had a blood relation, so we can—"

You push his reaching tentacle away and grit your teeth. His scent is cloying, muddling the thoughts in your brain. "Still... We grew up together. You've always been my brother, so I can't go home with your clutch." You gasp when another appendage twines around your waist, drawing you closer to the floor. You glare weakly at him. "You're doing that on purpose, dummy..."

Azul flashes his teeth at you, smug. "I don't know what you're talking about, sister dearest."

"Stop. S'not funny..." He squeezes your hips, annoyingly playful, and your body arches itself into his touch. "Azul, please."

Azul creeps closer, his voice a tantalizing murmur. "I missed you so much. Do you know how lonely it was without you? You never visited or wrote. I sat alone at the head of the table every birthday and wished you were there by my side. You promised you'd never leave me and yet... And yet you broke it! You left and I never saw you again! I thought I'd lost you forever."

"You know that's not what happened. I couldn't stay because Dad wanted me to come with him."

"But I needed you more than Dad did!" he exclaims, features twisted with grief. Azul notices your subtle flinch and he swallows thickly, softens his intonation. "I... I needed you the most."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Your hands tremble against your nose, but it's futile. His scent surrounds you.

"Sorry isn't enough. You have to make it up to me. For every missed birthday. For every missed holiday. For every second I spent mourning you." Azul pins his body to yours, his tentacles wrapping around your arms to pull them down. He smiles lopsidedly, breathing you in like you're his lifeline. He reaches between you to press his fingers against your slit, and you mewl, squirming beneath him. He marvels at your mouth as it opens and closes, stuffed full with contradiction. "I know it's unbearable. It's unbearable for me, too, but I can help make it feel better for both of us."

"But—haa—your clutch... If you do it inside, I'll..."

His thumbs rub soothing circles into your hips, right at the borderline between scales and flesh. "You'll do fine," he promises. "Remember when you'd reassure me whenever I was scared? Now it's my turn to do that for you. So let me help you. You'll feel good soon."

"We shouldn't. What will..." You gasp and reach for his shoulders by pure impulse, overcome with a searing want now that he's so close. "What will Mom say? Won't she be upset?"

Azul hums his contemplation. Three fingers curl inside your slit, spreading it with ease. You cry out and sink your teeth into his shoulder, restlessly, painfully horny. He suspects you'd have more fight if you weren't already so deep into your heat. Maybe then your bite would have been far more agonizing.

"Then she'd better not find out." One tentacle pats your head. It's meant to be consoling. "For the record, I never saw you as my sister. I meant it when I said I'd marry you. You know that, right?"

You pull away, maw speckled with blue blood and eyes twinkling. He smiles again; you're cute when stained with his color. "Please, Zul..." You hold his face between your hands, yanking him down to your lips. His gills flutter with excitement. "Fingers aren't enough..."

"I know, love. I know."

So he kisses you.

It's heady and sloppy, more dizzying than a tempting bout of pheromones and the slick squelch of his fingers fucking you open. Azul loses himself in the sensations, massaging every inch of you with his tentacles while you throw your arms around him in return. You're coerced into acceptance in a way that's spellbinding, unable to slake the desire that burns within you. He's filled to the brim with euphoria. It's been so many years apart and now you're here with him, stuck in this cramped cave, the both of you ignorant to the hours passing above.

Azul pulls away first. Not for oxygen because neither of you need that, but rather so he can speak instead.

"Promise you won't leave me."

"I won't. I'm here to stay, so please, Azul. Please..." You dig your nails into his back, impatient. "I need you."

He flushes blue up to his ears. "A-And say you love me. More than a brother, okay?"

The tapered tip of a thicker, much larger tentacle presses shallowly into your slit. You moan your relief, rocking your hips in hopes of taking him deeper. Tears line your lashes.

"I love—mmh—love you more than—oh, please—than a brother! Zul, please, I can't take it anymore. Put it in. Please give it to me!"

Azul presses kisses all over your face, unable to stop his growing smile. "I will, angelfish. I won't keep you waiting any longer."

He pushes inside and your tight warmth swallows every inch. He drags you down onto the floor, endeavoring to fit himself to you in the closest way. You fuck like animals, noisy and wet and filthy, curled around one another like a perfect tangle of erotica. In the dimming glow of a fading spell, you capture one other's mouths at every interval, determined to savor every salacious sound. The knots in your stomach tighten and unfurl each time orgasm washes over you, and it's so blissfully mind-numbing that you forget why you were ever opposed to it in the first place.

When the first egg breaches your womb, you thrash and bite, tetchy and unsatisfied. He shushes you, cooing affectionately, petting your tummy and promising to fill it in due time. You try to snarl around another moan, but it comes out choked. He laughs, but it isn't meant to ridicule. And as promised, more eggs follow. Small, round, gelatinous things that they are, Azul knows they'll grow larger and you'll be a full house for the next few months until it comes time to lay.

He can't wait.

You ride out the rest of the eggs in pure ecstasy, so much so that it's a blur, harboring each in the crammed confines of your womb. By the time the final one has found its home inside, you and Azul are thoroughly exhausted and starved. He slips out slowly, draping a tentacle over your extended middle. They're glowing faintly, not nearly as bright to draw predators in, but once you're further into gestation you'll resemble the prettiest star.

"I'll get you something to eat," he says after a minute of untangling himself from you.

Your hand shoots out to seize the tentacle retreating from your rounded belly. "No, stay here."

"You should eat. It's been a while."

"'m not hungry..." As if to mock you, your stomach growls. You plead with your eyes, desperate. "I'll eat later. Please stay here with me. Please?"

Azul considers it, and ultimately he opts to stay. It's safer this way. He'll keep watch, and eventually the two of you will depart for home. Satisfied, you pull him back into the recesses of the little cave to cuddle up to him, your eyelids fluttering.

"Do you think any of them will survive?"

Azul turns to look at you. He remembers the way you used to snuggle with him when you were but little mers, giggling and gossiping over the silliest of things. He smiles fondly at the memory and the sight of you now, soft and gravid and glowing. And all his. Forever his.

"Of course they will."

It's an uncertainty, but he lives to beat the odds. It's in his nature to chase after and achieve the things he covets most. A family is no exception.

"Mm, I hope so," you mutter, trailing off into slumber.

"I'll make sure of it, my love."

In this dimly lit haven, it's just you and him, together as nature intended. He couldn't be more elated.

#meraki mumbles #yandere twst #tw: dubcon #tw: oviposition #tw: stepcest #n/sfw #me: how dare azul ruin my chances at getting basketball floyd!! >:(#also me: *writes smut for him*#i can't stay mad at azuzu <3

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celestialscatterbrain · 4 months

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hii!! could u pls tell us about having someone’s mars sun and venus in our 12H pls (synastry)!?! 😵‍💫

Do not interact if you are a minor. (18+)

Oh, wow! You probably have no idea just why you want them so much. In more unfortunate situations, the planet person can give you nothing tangible and maybe even be breadcrumbing you, but you just can’t get enough. It’s like, they can give u nothing and you’ll still pick them over other people who are trying to give you the world. You want to figure them out and enter their world, especially because there is something “inaccessible” or “mysterious” about them. You want to know how they think. This is especially true from the house person’s perspective. With 12H synastry, I always learn soooo much about myself and my unconscious desires and tendencies (whether as the planet person or as the house). I noticed that Mars and Venus in the 12H of a synastry or composite chart can indicate this relationship might start off as an affair or 3rd party situation.

Of the placements mentioned here, my least favorite to experience was definitely Mars in the 12th. I had read once that this placement can create blockages in being able to have s*x with one another, and that’s exactly what I experienced. It’s like you get so close but just can’t for some reason. Could lead to performance issues at the start of a s*xual relationship, in some cases. I noticed it’s super easy to feel vulnerable with the mars person as the 12th houser, but it’s not consistently reciprocated from the mars. Mars can notice everything about the 12H person, and can try to force them to talk about it or they have to point it out to them. In an unhealthy dynamic, the mars can get gratification at how weak the 12H becomes for them. In the positive, it’s crazy how the mars person can teach you what you like s*xually. They can learn your body extremely fast. It’s like your body and mars are having a conversation that you are left out of but get to enjoy the rewards of it. I never got to have s*x with mars, but the way he would touch my body and explore me made me literally c*m from kissing. It was the craziest thing I ever experienced and was super shocked LMFAOOO (TMI, sorry). I’ve never experienced that again in my life. Mars can have different ideas about spirituality than the 12H, and will be down to debate why they have certain beliefs. It can be super easy for mars to hurt 12H’s feelings. I don’t know why this placement can make the 12H person more submissive than they are with other romantic partners, but it does. The mars can sometimes fight to be in your life, but once they are there it seems like they can panic and leave after they’ve brought destruction you have to live with. Sometimes I felt like I “irked” the mars person on a subconscious level even though I was always nice and sweet with him. He would be super nice with me and then one moment make a snarky comment or just switch up completely without warning. I sometimes felt like he wanted to like me, but a part of him somewhat disliked for reasons unknown to him.

Sun in the 12th house synastry has potential to be nice. I feel like this is a placement where you guys can recognize something inexplicable in one another. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.” I think this leaves nothing off the table, and all topics are fair game. You can find a lot of unconditional acceptance with one another, even with the parts you might hide from others. The 12H person might feel instinctually comfortable expressing their quirks or behaving the same way they are when there’s not a soul in sight when with the sun person. “Let’s be alone together.” The sun brings light and warmth to the dark nebulas the 12H person swims in. The sun person can probably help the 12H person come out of their shell and show themselves to the world. The Sun person might want to lift the 12H person up. The 12H person might also see through the persona the sun person can let off. The sun person could confidently feel like they have the house person figured out, but the 12H person’s foggy neptunian energy can always catch the sun by surprise and they realize they didn’t dig as deeply as they thought. The 12h person can teach the sun person to be more introspective and can teach them how to appreciate time to themselves. The sun person might change the depth of their thinking or topics they engage with after their interaction with the 12H person. In a negative interaction, the house person can see every move the sun person is gonna make and knows how react in the way that will bruise the sun’s ego. The sun underestimates the 12H person a lot. When they experience conflict, the sun person will try to embarrass the 12H person and can try to paint them as weird, and the 12H person will swallow up the sun into their dark oblivion and drain their light as retribution. Also in the negative, the sun person can compare themselves to the house person and can at times feel like they are having an identity crisis and resent the 12H person for it when the house person was just doing their thing and being authentic. I noticed that the 12H person represents a lot of things the sun person wishes they could exude and it can make the sun feel dimmed and their egos to be challenged. The house person can also represent qualities the sun person hasn’t really seen in person before, and they can envy the individuality of the 12H person. The sun person can dislike how philosophical the 12H person makes everything. If engaged in conflict, the 12H person can dream of the sun in ways that show the sun’s intentions or moves. The 12H person’s connection to the dead or the spiritual realm might be intimidating to the sun person, even if they believe in the same things. They might resent that the 12H person seems to be more spiritual gifted than them. the sun person might have more paranormal experiences when around the 12h person. The 12H’s spirits might become “visible” or "active."

For Venus in the 12th house synastry, that eye contact must be crazyyyyyyy. The dreams you have of one another can feel euphoric. You guys can idealize each other and can dismiss one another’s red flags. In private is when this relationship thrivessssssss. Like absolute heart eyes. Late night hang outs. Wanting them irrationally. Your thoughts are now entirely consumed by one another, but you still might not display that to one another until you guys are back together in person. I feel like whispering amongst each other is a big thing. “Let’s make a fairytale.” Wishing you can find books or movies that have a similar set up as you two so you can relive certain moments. “You’ll see me in hindsight tangled up with you all night burning it down, someday when you leave me I bet these memories follow you around” from wildest dreams by Taylor Swift puts it perfectly. Good luck forgetting one another even if the relationship never comes off the ground. “Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just pretend.” You long for one another. You feel like this is a love sent from the heavens. This person exemplifies your dream girl or boy, that you didn’t think existed and now you NEED to have them. This feels like your chance and living out ur favorite fan fiction or romance novel. The ups, the downs, the depth, the confusion, the consuming rush of love. The daydreams, the sweetness, the intimacy. “Your love is my drug” vibes for real, (Kesha is a Pisces after all). However, this can also be a relationship that needs to be kept secret for some reason. This can be because one or both of you might have another relationship someone feels trapped to. Not sure what security you’d have with one another if you fully got together. “What if it was all for nothing?” Maybe a fear of being outcasted from society or judged terribly for getting together can be an issue present in your relationship. Fear of expressing or confessing romantic feelings out of fear or rejection can make this relationship become an extremely confusing one or be an incredibly drawn out slow burn. Check out my post on 12H Venus in the composite for more of an idea on what energies can be present with this placement. Intimate eye contact feels like: “let me dive into your pupils and take a swim inside of ur soul.” Bonnie and Clyde vibes, “if we go down, we go down together and meet in the next life. The 12H also rules over prison, so hopefully this doesn’t apply to you two— but it emphasizes the partners-in-crime dynamic.

#astrology #relationship astrology #astroblr #astrology observations #sexstrology #synastry #12h placements #12th house synastry #mars #Venus #sun #astro community

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aluraveil · 1 year

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♧ his ballerina. 💫

Yandere Scaramouche x Ballerina Reader

TW : Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, and huge spoilers to Scaramouche’s backstory. Inspired by this post right here.

Word Count : 1.2k

A/N : I got huge inspiration from his teaser! I love him and his character lore so much! I wanted to get this out during maintenance before Scaramouche would be released in game! I knew I had to write a fic about the ballerina and Scaramouche 😭

The past wasn’t something Scaramouche often liked to dwell on. He’d often describe his own as painful and tragic.

After being abandoned by his own mother because he was deemed useless, he was left to venture and explore the world on his own. But who knew that the pure, innocent soul would experience even more heartbreak after his birth?

His past was something he didn’t want to even think about. But as the old saying goes, in darkness there’s always hope. Maybe it would be true for everyone else, but it seems that Scaramouche would just face darkness after darkness.

The hollow puppet was wandering around the streets of Snezhnaya in the middle of the evening. He had finished all his harbinger duties and there was nothing left to do.

He stared into the night sky as he thought about his old life. He sometimes wonders what would have happened if his mother didn’t throw him away, deeming him useless.

He snapped out of those thoughts as he noticed a ton of people gathering around what had looked like a stage. He was curious at what was happening and he heard chatter going around saying that a dancer would be performing in a few minutes.

With nothing better to do, he sat down on the hill near the back which gave him a good view.

The stage light was on you and you began your performance. Your graceful moves and the way you danced on stage was incredibly mesmerizing. The way you moved with the soft music in the background along with your twirls and the way you spun so elegantly made Scaramouche lean in closer on instinct. He was so enraptured and his eyes widened as he kept watching the show. You looked like an angel with the way you moved so flawlessly. You looked really perfect with the way your tutu complimented your figure. You were like a dove on stage.

Your dancing had drawn the Balladeer in and it felt like he had forgotten the world around him. It felt like he was in a dream where he was able to forget all of his worries. For a moment he was able to forget all the suffering he had endured just by your captivating performance. You were an amazing dancer and Scaramouche was hooked. The puppet became more captivated with each twist and turn of your body.

Your dancing was like a drug, and he couldn’t get enough of it. He was addicted to that feeling. When he walked back home that day he felt like a whole different person. It wasn’t everyday that someone like himself was impressed. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way you spun so delicately.

Without even realizing it, Scaramouche found himself showing up to performance after performance. The feeling of forgetting his worries put the harbinger at ease and he was more hooked with each twirl you did.

In one way, you reminded him of the ballerina in a tale he was once told by the small child. But perhaps he was only coming to every one of your shows because he still had a soft spot for his one and only true friend.

Though the harbinger doesn’t talk about it a lot, he will admit that there was once someone who was very special to him back when he was known as Kunikuzushi. He will never forget the special moments he had shared with his one and only true friend, a small child he had met when he first ventured into the world.

The boy always had a smile on his face and seeing him happy made Scaramouche happy too. Him and the child grew an inseparable bond with each other. But even after all of those happy moments filled with joy, he still couldn’t help but feel empty. Like he was missing something.

Sometimes the small child and him would share a cup of tea together and sit down. They would talk about everything, but there was one conversation in particular that stuck out to him even after all the time that had passed.

“...You mean, you wish you had a heart?”

“Mhm.” Kunikuzushi said as he took another sip of his cup of tea. “I’ve always wished I had a heart.”

“You mean like the tale about a puppet soldier and the ballerina?” The small child inquired.

“Huh? I’ve never heard of it. Why don’t you tell me what it’s about?”

The tale was about a puppet soldier who wanted to be with a ballerina. But one day, his owner deemed him useless and threw him into a fire. Then the next day, all that was left was a heart left in the fireplace.

Kunikuzushi couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “It must have been a heart made from ashes.” He took another slurp of his tea. “That kind of thing just doesn't happen in real life, only in legends and old tales.”

“Maybe,” The small child replied. “But what if hearts can be born from ashes?”

The next day, the island had been plagued with tatarigami. Humans that had lived in the area began dying from it and it set everyone into a panic. One day, Kunikuzushi came back with a basket of lavender melons. With an eager smile, he opened the door only for his smile to drop into a horrified expression.

The boy had died.

Kunikuzushi was upset. His only friend and the only person who cared about him was dead. In the fit of rage, he had set everything in the house along with his friend’s body on fire and he watched as it turned into ash.

But there was no heart. It was just ashes.

“What a joke.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “It’s just ashes.”

The only thing that was left in the fire was a small doll that the boy owned. Kunikuzushi picked it up and since then, he has kept it with him. He left the burning house and he never looked back.

In a way, you reminded him of the ballerina in the tale. Perhaps he still has a soft spot for his old friend and that’s why he keeps coming back to watch your performances. Each time, he hugs the small doll tighter and tighter. He wishes that the small boy could have been there with him too. He knows that the small child would have loved your shows.

You reminded him so much of his past. Perhaps by showing up to each one of your dances, he relives his past with only the good memories and not the bad ones.

The Harbinger found himself growing a strange obsession with you. At first, these feelings didn’t make sense to him. He was a puppet with no heart. But maybe he just clings onto you because you remind him of the small boy.

Scaramouche often finds himself calling you,

“My ballerina.”

“My heart.”

It’s a habit really. He can’t really snap out of it.

But as Scaramouche starred up into the night sky after another ending of one of your performances, he couldn’t help but wonder,

Perhaps you had been the heart that he was searching for all this time.

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catboymoments · 5 months

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I love your IF AU Hierophant and Azrael so much...the exploration of the difference in their dynamic compared to canon is so important...also currently you're the only person i trust to write a good swap au, like I once saw someone talking about their swap AU where "Belos' grimwalkers keep turning evil and that's why Philip kills them" like WOW way to miss the entire point of Owl House i'm gonna explode you with my mind

THANK YOUUUUUU SO MUCH I feel like there’s still a lot of opportunities to make their relationship unhealthy and drive the plot without completely changing their characters like how a lot of swap aus tend to do, you just gotta figure it out….

Instead of it being an actively violent and manipulative abuser and a captive victim, I’ve been considering this twist-

Heirophant isn’t mentally well and doesn’t always say the right things to no fault of his own, but Azrael, who doesn’t know any better, who loves him, wants his approval, wasn’t raised in the most stable environment and will do whatever it takes to make their codependent wishes come true…. He’s gonna be making a lot of mistakes that come from the right place that are gonna make it really hard for people to forgive him.

#my art #the owl house #toh #toh:if #the owl house: inverted fate #swap au #Caleb wittebane #Azrael

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grandlinedreams · 6 months

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Hello there! If I could make a request please. Femme reader joins the Heart Pirates while after running away from home. Her parents force fed her a devil fruit and abused her well before then. Law knows this, but didn't know which island she was from. Maybe the crew shores up on reader's home island and she doesn't realize it until they surface? It's readers turn to go on land and leave the ship for a bit and she runs into her family and all hell breaks loose. Law comes to her rescue maybe? Can be like a new relationship or maybe they've been flirting but nothing official yet?

You're writings are amazing! Thank you!

Hiya papaya!! I absolutely can, I have an oc i made for OP that's got a little bit of a similar backstory so i incorporated a little bit of that but I hope I can do this justice for you!!

[Heads up! PLEASE READ TAGS: established relationship, fem!reader, unhealthy family dynamic/mentions of abuse and abuse related injuries, healthy dose of angst, mention of anxiety/panic attack, hurt/comfort]

You don't want to be here.

Pressed to the railing of the Polar Tang's deck, you stare at the island that grows ever closer, jaw taut as the excitement you'd felt this morning completely drain from your system.

You'd been all for getting to be on solid ground, eager to explore a new place ㅡ only to realize that your destination is familiar. Too familiar.

You want to leave. You want to beg Law to find another island to make a supply run on ㅡ anywhere but here. But you know that will lead to questions, ones you don't want to answer.

"Excited to be on land?" Hakugan means well with his question, you know he does, but it still makes you tense.

"Something like that," you answer, hoping nobody noticed that your grip on the railing has bled your knuckles white with the force. Your heart hammers, blood icy in your veins. Maybe it won't be like before, you try telling yourself. Maybe it'll be different.

All you can do is desperately hope that you won't have to be here for long as you approach the island you once called home.

ㅡ

Something is wrong.

Law is far from an idiot or unobservant ㅡ though you try to hide it under your usual cheer, he's aware that your smile is forced, and you try to hide the way you flinch at every sudden noise, every unexpected movement.

"What's wrong." He phrases it more as a demand than a question, watching your expression shift to one of faux-confusion. "Don't try to lie to me," he presses. "You've been acting off since we left the ship."

Damn this man. Damn him for knowing you as he does as of late, afforded the soft vulnerability that comes with being in a relationship, even if new and tentative.

You waffle for a moment, still debating the pros and cons of trying to lie to him ㅡ but it's far from worth it when you know he'll be able to see through it.

"[Name]." The press of your name is intentional, and you last all of two seconds before the dam breaks.

"I'm from this island," you blurt, hate how disgusting it makes you feel to admit connection to this place. For all the idyllic scenery and cheerful townsfolk, you know better. The eyes averted at the bruises on your skin, the carefully deaf ears to the way you were talked to.

They knew, of course. How could they not? It was never like they made it a secret. Especially not after that ㅡ and they'd made it seem like it was your fault. How scandalous, a child eating a devil fruit ㅡ of course you deserved your punishment.

Law stares. You'd mentioned little pieces of your past, prompted by the mandatory physical required of all of his crew, the discovery of scars and bones with clear evidence of breaks long healed.

"You should have said something," Law says, hating the way you flinch, shrinking in on yourself. "We would have found a different island."

"I didn't want to cause problems." Your answer is mumbled, eyes averted. You listen to the approach of footsteps, the weight of a hand on your head.

"We'll make this quick, then get out of here."

You nod, some of the raw pit of anxiety soothed by both Law's touch and his words jefore you take a step forward. "I'll grab some of the dry store supplies we need, I know where to go."

A protest is on the tip of Law's tongue that no, you shouldn't have to go anywhere alone on this island ㅡ but he keeps quiet, abruptly understanding that you're trying to feel as normal as you can.

"Alright," he relents. "I'll grab the other few things. Meet back here, then we'll head back."

You nod. Though your skin still crawls at the very fact you're standing on ground you once did so long ago, you push it down in favor of focusing on the task at hand. The sooner the two of you finish, the better.

ㅡ

You're gathering the last of the supplies when things fall apart. Back to the door of the store, you don't see them walk in ㅡ but the voice that calls to you is horrifyingly familiar, cutting through the air like a knife to sink square into your back.

"Long time no see, [Name]."

You suppose you should have known the tentative peace you've found wouldn't last long enough. After all even with the anonymity the passage of time has afforded you, someone was bound to recognize you. You stiffen, fighting the urge to turn. Maybe if you pretend you don't know them, you can leave.

"Thank-you," you mumble as you're handed the brown paper bag, handing over money before you turn, aiming to walk past them as quickly as you can.

Cold fingers snag around your upper arm, yanking you to a halt. "Is that any way to treat a parent?"

Hot anger ignites in your stomach, indignation that they have the audacity to call themself a parent ㅡ but that flicker of righteous fury is snuffed out when you look up. They smirk, and suddenly you're a child again.

"You're to address me the way you should." Their grip tightens, and you fight not to wince at the protest of your arm beneath their grip. They'd broken this arm before ㅡ and it's clear they can do it again, if they so choose. "Am I clear?"

How many times have you imagined spitting in their face over the years? Fighting back the way you always wished you could, proving you're not a scared child anymore ㅡ only to be reduced to it again. You can't even call on your powers, rooted to the spot as their fingers undoubedly bruise your skin.

"I want an answer," they tell you sharply, and you wince as their nails bite into your flesh as well. "Now."

Bile rises in your throat, burning as your heart hammers with sheer panic, breathing shallow. You hate them. You don't want to go back to this, you were promised you'd never have to, and what good is a promise if it's broken?

Years of progress seems to vanish in an instant as your lips part. "Y—"

"Excuse me."

Nevermore have you been so grateful to hear Law's voice. It's cold, sharp with quiet fury — and when you glance over, Law is glaring at your parent. "Let go of her."

Your parent scoffs, and you fight not to drop the bag in your hold on the floor. "Why should I? She's my daughter—"

"Not anymore." Law's tone is flat and fierce, anger blazing in his eyes as he steps forward. He knows it's not a great idea, but he's not above liberating their hand from their body if they're not going to let go of you. "You don't deserve that title if this is how you treat your own child. Don't make me repeat myself." His eyes flash, the promise of a threat in his words. "Let go of her."

For a moment, you think that they won't. That they're going to make this escalate into something bigger than it needs to be, that you'll be stuck here again, unable to protect yourself ㅡ and then their grip eases just enough that you can wrench yourself free and move towards Law.

You know that they didn't let you go because of him, only to save face and not cause a scene ㅡ but you'll take it, even though you're tempted to turn and offer them a taste of their own medicine with your power.

But where would you be then? No better than them and something they'd always called you, even though they'd been the one to make you into it — a monster.

ㅡ

You're not sure how you get back to the Polar Tang. Whether you walk or Law uses his ability — you can't focus on anything but the lingering panic still thrumming in your veins, rising to a ringing crescendo in your ears.

They talked to you. They touched you.

Law finds you hunched over the bathroom sink, a rag in your grip as you scrub at your upper arm. "Off," you mumble as he approaches, "need to get them off of me."

You've scrubbed your skin red and raw, but it isn't enough ㅡ and you flinch when he curls his fingers around your wrist. "Stop," he says softly, keeps his voice low. "That's enough."

You're taut like a wire under his touch, frozen before you ease up, letting him coax the rag from your hand. You let him guide you from the bathroom to his room, coaxing you to sit on the bed.

"Breathe," Law instructs, hand against your back, rubbing gently. "In and out, slowly."

It takes several long minutes to match your breathing to Law's example, the abrupt sag of your shoulders as tension starts to bleed from your body. You're tired.

You don't protest as he coaxes you into laying down, the soft slip of blankets over you as exhaustion weighs your limbs down. "Law?"

"Hm?" Law hums, lets you reach for him on your own terms, tangle yourself into him before he settles an arm over you, fingers splayed against your back.

"I'm sorry."

Your apology makes Law tense. The last thing that you need to do is apologize — and it invokes leftover anger. Not at you, but at your past, what you'd endured before.

"Shh." Law kisses your forehead, lets his lips stay pressed to your skin as he speaks. "You have nothing to apologize for. Now sleep."

It doesn't take long for you fall asleep, and the peace of your face makes Law's chest ache. You deserve this kind of peace, this kind of safety.

And he plans to give it to you, for as long as he can.

#ㅡmine.#one piece scenario #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader

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bonefall · 1 month

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My birthday was a couple days ago, and I got to see my bio dad for the first time in a while. He surprised me with the fact that I have a little half-sister, whom I've never met and who was adopted about two years back. So, I wondered if any situations in BB mimic this or have a theme of "secret siblings" or "secret family"? Sorry if this is a weird ask; this blog is honestly just such a cool little place and I love the way you approach the subject matter and take the flawed misogynistic foundation of the WC books and make them so much better (JUSTICE FOR BUMBLE!!!). I've also learned a lot about healthy and unhealthy relationships here and am really glad for your deep dives on Squilf and Bramble. Thanks, Bones!

Not weird at all! I really like exploring all the little nooks and crannies of complicated familial dynamics. I think one of the untapped strengths of WC (that the writers seem to be unaware of) is how their MASSIVE cast allows them to present all sorts of unique dynamics. So I like to pick up on it, since they don't.

For secret siblings...

I'm pretty heavily leaning towards Ambermoon being adopted by Wildfur, as a surrogacy. Something feels correct about it. Especially since Icecloud is getting retooled into a post-Battle of the True Eclipse birth, and a major supporting character in AVoS-era stories as a friend of Alderheart.

Thinking about it, I should zoom in and expand this. Maybe have Icecloud, somehow, acquire forbidden knowledge that would invalidate the Queen’s Rights and he (transman) struggles with if he's going to use it to expose his parents as an excuse to help Ambermoon.

(Especially since Ambermoon and Icecloud are basically nothing alike. Amber is independent, bold, and vain. Ice is jessie pinkman big-hearted, disorganized, and deceptively meek if you look past his "chill" demeanor)

But that's wip-- there's also Breezepelt and the Three, who are going to have an actual friendship. In particular I can't unsee Breeze and Lion having a deep one. I know I commit the Cardinal Sin of borderline himbo-ifying Lionblaze in BB, but I can't help it.

Hollyleaf ended up nabbing a bunch of his most violent roles to make her villainous descent smoother narratively, so BB!Lionblaze's story ends up being more focused on Ashfur's abuse, comic relief with cats in other Clans (something that the very serious Jay and Holly have a hard time providing), and the emotional fallout of the big reveal and Bramblestar's turn on them. Breezepelt slots neatly into that.

They were friends. Lionblaze's whole life came down around the reveal, everyone looking at him and his siblings differently, like they're suddenly something terrible. Why can't we find a silver lining, Breezepelt? Why can't we call ourselves brothers if the whole world is going to do it anyway? So much is changing, but THIS doesn't have to, we will take their weapon and turn it to armor, my ally, my friend, my brother.

(and when Breezepelt is lashing out at the three because of the Dark Forest's influence, Lionblaze is there, taking the blows and trying not to give in to the impulse to send him flying with a single paw)

There's also Harespring and Kestrelflight of WindClan and Owlclaw of ShadowClan. All of them are from a single litter between Whitewater and Mudclaw. She was going to raise the three of them alone as ShadowClan cats, but when the sire was smote, Whitewater felt they were cursed.

She was able to give the oldest two to their bio-uncle, Torear, but the weather was so bad that day and the runt was so sickly and small that it surely would have killed him. I don't think Owlclaw ever finds out why his mother always treated him with suspicion, but it did mess him up horribly.

Over in BB!DOTC, Thunder Storm is getting more half-siblings earlier. Clear Sky and Falling Feather had two daughters-- Pale Sky and Tiger Sky.

I want to explore the way that the various stages of Clear Sky's life acted on his kids. How any little curiosity Thunder Storm had about the life he might have had if he wasn't abandoned is crushed by seeing kittens who weren't. How Clear's favoritism of his oldest child set the trio against each other from the start. How this idea of "love" is toxic yet intoxicating.

It feels good to be the golden child. The power it gives you over his sycophants is satisfying. To know you, and you alone, have what someone else craves. Problem is, that's conditional, and it's cruel.

What Thunder Storm learns from his time with his biodad is that Clear Sky is not his father at all. He's taught him exactly what he DOESN'T want to be. There may be similarities-- in temperament, in physical prowess (though BB!Thunder is three-legged, he's still ripped), in taste and senses. But Thunder Storm's father is Shaded Flower.

(BB!Gray Wing died in the first book, rescuing Shaded Flower from being trampled by a horse. Xey're a patron of wisdom, Shaded Moss is taking the role of fatherhood to Thunder)

His sister is Rainswept Flower. His mom is Bright Storm. If there was a bond he could have had with Tiger Sky and Pale Sky, it dies simply and cruelly on the knife they used to cut each other out.

Pale might have wanted to mend it, she was the gentler one. But she dies in the First Battle along with her mother. Tiger Sky is too stubborn to accept any help, should Thunderstar offer it, and Thunderstar isn't in the business of begging for others to like him.

Naturally I'm lowkey obsessed with them lmao. I need to make a BB!DOTC overviewww

#I have a perspective on half siblings colored by a dynamic in my family #The generation above me has two siblings who had an awful biodad and an amazing stepdad (who did officially adopt them)#And there was nothing ''natural'' or good about how one of them was obsessed with their biodad.#It was influenced by his surroundings and did nothing but drag an incredibly toxic man back into his sister's life #Over and over #But anyway the son used to tell me ''theres no half in siblings''#The daughter adored her halfbrother through the mother who raised them-- but was adamant that her biodad's newer kids were nothing to her #I guess I agree with the son. But not in the way he believes it #There's no half in siblings because you either Are. Or you are Not.#You have a shared experience with having that person as a parent or you don't. And that's what's unchanging.#It's not the blood; it's the sweat and tears. But anyhoo #Personal details of my life aside #Tiger Sky and Pale Sky are Clear's Dead Angel Fetus Children in-canon. I think that was Weird.#So instead I made them. Not. Dead angel fetus children....#They're characters now lmaoo #Better bones au #I think Tiger Sky (i call her Tigs in my head a lot) is one of my favorite kit saves ever though #She's not going to be from the last litter either. I haven't picked who the mom is yet but he does have even more #At least one of those is going to make a grab at power but um. Sparrow Heart will not react Well.#BASICALLY lads I'm cooking. My revamps of the DOTC characters basically write themselves because I am very fond of them.#Clear's youngest: ''OH I JUST CANT WAIT TO BE KI-"#Sparrowstar: ''-lled.''

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saintsenara · 14 days

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How are you able to enjoy toxic/unhealthy/“problematic” ships/characters without feeling weird (for lack of a better word) about it?

I ask this because I want to be able to do this myself as it seems like a much more enjoyable way of engaging with fiction to me. I can get over some ships just being toxic and the characters not being good together and still enjoy their dynamic but I have trouble with the other ships that feel morally wrong. I know it’s just fiction but I can’t seem to get over the ick feeling I have when I think about those ships/characters. I feel like I’m being too puritanical about these things but I don’t know how to stop feeling like something is gross when I feel it’s gross…

Do you have any tips to stop jumping to moralizing ships/characters?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i'm going to be upfront that this reflexive gross feeling isn't something i've ever really struggled with - both in fic and more broadly. this is due to various personal idiosyncrasies, above all the fact that i've got disengaged boomer parents who didn't police our media consumption [my favourite book when i was eleven? lolita...] and that i'm a doctor, which is a profession which requires you to develop a very high threshold for what you find disgusting. the human body - at all stages of its life-cycle and its cycle of decomposition - produces a lot of different fluids... and it's also the case that [just as if you can think of it, there's porn for it] if an inanimate object exists, somebody somewhere has got it stuck inside them...

and so the situation that i find myself in is that i consider it infinitely less weird that i enjoy the odd bit of hot tomarrymort action than that i actively enjoy cutting through bone with a saw...

but, obviously, "get a medical degree" isn't particularly helpful advice...

i am a ride-or-die fan of the concept of stepping outside of your comfort zone. this is why i'm such an avowed multishipper - i think it's good for us as fandom citizens to examine the potential of our faves in relationships [romantic or otherwise] which are either not their canon endgames or which aren't our preferred pairings, and in situations which don't align with their canon experiences [whether that means making them suffer or giving them full-on fluff]. it draws out the multiple aspects of a character to consider them from these different angles - and it prevents us from getting so stuck in one interpretation of a character or configuration of a ship which means that it puts our backs up to stumble across stories which approach things differently.

but stepping outside of your comfort zone doesn't mean that you have to go enormously far. it may be that a reader decides - having only ever read teen-rated fics where characters' sex lives don't extend beyond hand-holding and forehead kisses - to take the plunge into an explicit piece filled to the brim with watersports and age play. it may be that a reader decides - having only ever read teen-rated fics for one canon pairing - to read a teen-rated fic for a non-canon alternative. both of these are entirely valid approaches.

by which i mean, our comfort levels and our thresholds for discomfort are subjective, they're personal. if there are ships or themes or characters you don't want to read about because they don't feel good... you're not doing something wrong if you avoid them. exposing yourself to fics you expect to make you uncomfortable can be useful - and fiction is certainly a way to explore discomfort which gives you much more control over the experience than encountering it in real life - but it's not something you're obliged to do to be active in fandom.

the thing you are obliged to do to be active in fandom is to be nice to other people, no matter what their tastes in fiction. this means, at its fundamental level, that when you see people who ship pairings or like themes which make you think "ew"... you keep it to yourself/the group chat rather than putting it on the timeline.

but, once this is something you've got the hang of [which takes a bit of time! but practice makes perfect!], something i feel can be a really useful way of overcoming a tendency towards knee-jerk moralising reactions is to just vibe in the vicinity of people you know like the content you instinctively feel is gross.

this doesn't mean you have to read any of this content - but you'll learn just by hanging out near them that the people who do are just... normal. one minute they might reblog a rec for a pairing you think "absolutely not" about, the next they might reblog a cat picture which makes you squeal with delight. you'll like some of their content, but not all. you'll agree with some of it, but not all. you might like progressively more of it as you spend time in their orbit - maybe they'll explain why they like the pairing or character in question and you'll think "huh, i've never looked at it like that" - or you might not. this is absolutely fine.

all of us - at one time or other - have made a black-and-white moralising pronouncement: people who think x are gross; people who like y are fucked-up, you'd never catch me doing z. and these pronouncements are different from our wider, societally-influenced moral codes - which are good things, otherwise we'd live in the purge - in that they're fundamentally ways for us to feel good about ourselves and our families and our friends by defining ourselves as better than a faceless other. we say "you'd never catch me reading that, it's foul" when we know [or think we know] that the friend we're talking to would agree with the statement. we are far less likely to say it if we know that the friend - whom we see as a human being who is beautiful in their imperfection and inherently worthy of love simply by virtue of being alive - was reading and enjoying that just the other day.

and so the best way to train yourself out of reflexively moralising ships or characters or tropes is to put a face to the faceless other who likes them. be intentional in sharing a space with fans of the stuff you feel uncomfortable with and, eventually, it just becomes background noise. you'll scroll on tumblr, say "well there we are, jane's written some more of her sirius/harry piss kink fic - although i'm not interested in clicking on it" and go on with your day.

because the other thing i think it's really useful to do is to train yourself into reframing your disgust as disinterest. there are plenty of things which i don't seek out to read - and some of these topics are completely benign and some are darker [i don't enjoy reading explicit non-con, for example] - but this is because i try to frame it as that i don't think these things would interest me.

this is still the maintenance of a personal comfort zone, but thinking of the content outside this zone as something you are disinterested in turns it into something neutral. when you think of it as something to be disgusted or grossed out by, it naturally provokes a visceral response which makes you look through a moral lens. thinking in terms of disinterest, instead, gives you sufficient detachment from this visceral response to recognise, interrogate, contextualise, and control it.

and - in time - this neutral reframing may result in you feeling more interested in taking the plunge into the ships and characters and stories you currently don't vibe with, once you don't have an instinctive disgust response as a barrier.

or it may not. and this is absolutely fine.

#asks answered #on fandom

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cmkren · 1 year

Text

“He Loved Me, He Loved Me Not.”

For a man such as himself, he couldn’t express the emotions he felt, even if he wanted to. It was a matter of being unable, not knowing how than not wanting to. Or maybe it was a little bit of both. Chishiya could only hope that the one he loved wouldn’t see him any less for it— because it’d only sting more considering that he, for once, was trying his best to be (somewhat) emotionally available.

But maybe he had realized that all just a little too late.

a/n; exploring his character a little! A little bit of one-sided pining, mentions of past relations between Chishiya and reader, messy plot, messy in general ‘cause I haven’t written like this in three years— g/n! reader (hopefully), mentions of unhealthy behaviour, the neglectful kind + pre-borderlands relationship but chishiya reflecting during borderlands when he sees you again during beach arc

What did you expect, getting into a relationship with him? What had drawn you in, pulled you in so close? Close enough that he could plunge a knife into your heart so deep he could tug it right out from the other side? What did you expect?

What did you expect.

Before the whole borderlands shit show, Chishiya had you in his arms every day. Every other day. Maybe weekly. He thought he had expressed his affections rather often, but according to the other party they barely saw him. There had been a conversation between the two of you about this, a conversation where he willingly sat and listened. Nodding his head, looking like he caught your words as soon as they left your mouth.

Maybe that was one of the reasons. How he seemed so good at listening, as if he was hooked on to every word you said, actively listening every time you spoke. In a sense he did. At the beginning, that was.

Everyone knows how things are at the beginnings of a relationship. Where couples are tied to the hip, all lovey-dovey and happy looking. As if they solved all their problems and were sure there would be none to come their way. You and Chishiya were no different, but of course he showed this newfound affection he held in his own unique way.

Never the biggest fan of pda, so he kept the touching behind closed doors. Even then, his biggest way to show affection was just sitting down and spending time with you. Listening to how your day was, and you prying out the same from him as he reluctantly shared.

That was just how your relationship was— and he liked it that way.

Until that ‘honeymoon phase’ started to slowly fade. Like it always does. He started spending less time with you, barely saying anything to you unless he needed something.

It was strange, how things switched up so quickly with him. He even went radio silent a couple of times, not really responding to texts or calls. Most he would give at times to a message is a one or two word answer. No matter how good a partner someone could be— anyone would start getting anxious about what was going on.

The final straw came when he didn’t say anything at all for a whole month. Maybe even reaching two months.

It was crazy. How could you be completely detached for a whole month like that? You never even caught a glimpse of him, got a single text or call. He must’ve been deliberately ignoring you.

Unfortunately, he had been.

He had no idea what came over him, but he just couldn’t talk to you. The workload at the hospital was only an excuse he could barely tell himself as for his own behaviour. As if he was justifying it.

But after a while, a string of texts finally got his attention. It’s all pretty blurry to him, but he just remembered dropping whatever it was he was doing to go over to your place. Unfortunately for him, a stroke of bad luck decided to follow him as he walked across Shibuya Crossing.

It was the day he found himself in this sort of dystopian version of Tokyo.

Maybe that’s why he found himself staring at you from a distance— there wasn’t really… actual closure. At least for him. With the raging party by the pool, you seemed to be having some fun with new friends you made during your time here.

Chishiya was known to be a confident guy, a bit of a prick but in a way he had a right to be. He was intelligent. But he could never bring himself to go up to you again. Not after how he left things on such a sour note.

He liked to think it was both his and their fault. Their fault for falling in love with a man like him, and his fault for loving you just as much. Maybe even a little more.

Perhaps that’s why he subconsciously distanced himself at one point. Did he think that was the right move? To move as far away and close himself as much as possible to protect them from an asshole like him? Someone who couldn’t even share how his day at work had went?

At the end, it didn’t matter why or why not he did certain things.

The fact of the matter was, he hurt you either way. Maybe this was how he loved. By pushing them as far as possible, holding himself accountable. And maybe this was how he balanced his life. From the shitty things he did every day, maybe he deserved it. Deserved never being able to make love last.

“Chishiya— Chishiya!”

The taller woman beside him had snapped her fingers right against his ear, making him turn his head just the slightest. Kuina stared back at him, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards just a little. A slightly incredulous smile on her face, “what’s with that expression? You look like you just got dumped.”

He knew she was exaggerating so he let out an amused scoff. Slowly, his eyes trailed back towards the crowd, a quiet sigh leaving his lips.

Ah, he just remembered. Why he had been making his way to your place that day. The message that got him scrambling to his feet, finally waking up to reality.

It’d been a break up text.

It took that, something that finally spelled it out to him that his relationship was in jeopardy, to try to fix it. Remedy how much he had blatantly ignored his partner for the past month or so, absolutely refusing to even send a single message.

If it hadn’t been obvious yet— he still loved you. After 90 days of this place, he still loved you. You probably still loved him too, he presumed. That wasn’t just his narcissism speaking, there was no way they’d get over him so quick. No way.

No way.

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nomercifulpercival · 2 years

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taking my tags from a different post and posting them because i do be having A Lot To Say

the thing about current discussions about censorship on ao3, and antis willfully or uncritically claiming that people who dont want censorship are just ‘pedophiles’, is that they are missing the whole goddamn point.

whatever you personally choose to read, if we allow censorship to take hold on ao3 eventually your preferred fic will be eroded.

to demonstrate i present,

Things Antis Have Claimed Are Problematic and Should Be Banned:

the omegaverse - either for fetishising trans people or introducing hetero dynamics into queer relationships

chidhood friends to lovers - for sexualising children's friendships or shipping 'sibling coded' characters

age gaps between adults - from age gaps of like 40 years to age gaps of like six years (looks hard at anti-sheiths)

furries/anthro - because ‘bestiality’

enemies to lovers - for 'romanticising abuse'

any exploration of unhealthy dynamics done in a way that isnt simply 'one person is the victim and escapes their abuser'.

mutually unhealthy relationships. power dynamics such as teacher/student or boss/employee that would be unhealthy or immoral irl.

vent fiction that explicitly describes the writer's trauma - they claim people should just go to therapy instead of processing their trauma through fiction and sharing it online. (The Reality of This: i go to therapy - my therapist encourages vent fiction - i post vent fiction - i get told to die - rinse and repeat)

noncon fics that are written as erotica - i really need to impress upon antis that some people have noncon kinks! it’s not even that rare, according to one study, 62% of women admitted to fantasizing about being forced to have sex. IRL they probably explore this via consensual non consent or simply by fantasizing, and in fiction you can read about eroticised non con, get your jollies and it hurts no one in real life.

The thing about banning ANY of these things is that everyone will have different opinions of what is 'moral' or 'ok to write about'. Everyone will have different boundaries and triggers and squicks. AO3 allows you to ACTIVELY AVOID things that squick you

(and before anyone says ‘I’ve seen these things untagged’ - the AO3 rules require works to either be tagged with the relevant warning (Underage/NonCon/Graphic Violence) or ‘Author chose not to use archive warnings’. you can report improperly tagged works; they are literally against AO3s rules)

so truly the best option to keep works you like protected on AO3 is to accept that people will be writing weird shit on the internet, but you actively do not have to see it. Because otherwise they WILL ban YOUR weird shit.

*points aggressively at FFNet*

#let he who reads fanfiction without sin throw the first stone #ao3 #needed this off my chest #proship #fandom #fandom wank #(does it reveal my age that i still think of this as wank and not discourse?)#archive of our own

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 3 months

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toxic relationships: intentional vs romanticized

i want to talk about what makes a toxic ship intentional and what makes it romanticized, since a lot of spop fans claim that “of course Adora and Catra's relationship is toxic, they were enemies and they had a rough childhood”. however, it's clear that the writers of spop themselves don't consider this relationship toxic, or if they do, they think that the toxicity is sexy or romantic.

for comparison, let's take Jasper and Lapis from Steven Universe. this was a ship that was clearly written to be unhealthy. these were two characters who did not like each other in the slightest, who both had their own share of trauma that they never worked through and decided to form a fusion instead.

Jasper tries to coerce Lapis into forming a fusion with her, in order to help her defeat the Crystal Gems. Lapis is unwilling at first but later, she relents. whether she did this out of fear or because of her own anger towards the Crystal Gems is unclear at first.

Fusions in SU are a good way of visualising the nature of a relationship. if a relationship is healthy and stable, the fusion is stronger and can stay fused for longer periods of time. if the relationship is unhealthy, toxic or unstable, the fusion might break apart easily or have trouble functioning as one body.

fusions aren't strictly a romantic thing either, there had been a couple of platonic fusions in the series too, like Smoky Quartz or Steg. suffice to say, it was just a creative way to explore different dynamics between different people.

as expected, Lapis's and Jasper's fusion was not stable or healthy in the slightest. Malachite was the biggest fusion we had seen at that point in the series, and she looked more monstrous and unhinged than any of the other fusions we had seen prior.

it is at this point that Lapis reveals that she was just trying to keep Steven safe by fusing with Jasper and forcing the fusion to stay underwater with her.

even right after this scene, it's clear that the writers wrote Malachite as an intentional toxic ship because Garnet immediately remarks that those two gems were “not good for each other”.

after an undetermined period of time where Malachite stayed fused, and while Jasper got more and more angry and vengeful, Lapis got more and more exhausted of holding the fusion together; the Crystal Gems finally succeed in making the two unfuse.

there is some nuance to this ship too, because there wasn't just one person at fault. while Jasper was physically stronger than Lapis and she was the one who initially coerced Lapis into fusing with her, Lapis herself admits that she used their relationship to take out all of her anger and frustration. she admits to hurting Jasper in the process.

Lapis also admits that she misses Jasper, a sentiment that Jasper also seems to share as she tracks down Lapis to ask her to fuse with her again, promising that it would be better this time.

this is not uncommon in toxic relationships where the individuals get so used to the toxicity that they feel empty without each other. they would rather be in an unhealthy but familiar relationship than be alone. and this is the first time i've seen this sentiment be portrayed so realistically in a show. the fact that you can get away from someone who hurt you and still miss them and want them back is something that needs to be talked about.

Lapis does eventually reject Jasper's offer, saying that their relationship wasn't healthy. while i do have problems with how they suddenly made Lapis the victim afterwards (and her whole arc as a whole), i still think SU handled this ship really well.

it was an introspect into a toxic relationship, without romanticizing or sexualizing it, and without justifying Lapis's or Jasper's actions, even though they were both sympathetic characters on their own. they do kind of gloss over Lapis's role in this relationship later on, which i wasn't fond of but in the end, they made the right decision to not let this ship be canon.

this is how toxic relationships should be explored in media. without bias, without excusing or justifying a person's actions. whether the ship separates in the end or not is the writer's wish, but the framing is important.

whereas c//a is framed in a way that expects us to sympathize with Catra, to excuse her actions and to root for her to get with Adora. like Malachite, c//a was not healthy for Catra or Adora (although the conflict there was definitely more one-sided) but the writers of spop seems to think that a vague apology is enough for them to get into a stable relationship.

if you frame toxic behaviour as cute or romantic, your audience is going to accept that. fiction does greatly impact reality. and considering that spop is quote-unquote “a kid's show”, they have a responsibility to not send the wrong message to thousands of impressionable children.

this turned into more of an SU analysis than an SPOP critique post lol but since y'all already know why c//a is not like malachite, i trust i don't have to write more about that.

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bluegalaxygirl · 1 month

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Obsession's Grip (Zosan X Reader) P6

Plot: After saving some of the straw hat crew from a prison, the crew help takes a young man away so he can have a fresh start in life. He's shy but seems to grow attached to Reader in an unhealthy way.

Warning: Bad language, Violence and Making out.

Reader is Female (Sorry), Zoro X Sanji X Reader, Poly relationship, established relationship. Reader has the ability to control the snake tattoos on her arms that come alive when she commands, they can change size and are connected to her emotions.

P1 - P2 - P3 - P4 - P5 - P7 - P8 - P9 - P10 - P11 - P12 - P13 - P14

Unfortunately the island the sunny docks at is uninhabited according to Nami's map, its called Gurōberī also known as glow berry island, the forest overflowing the island is dark and dense the top of the trees so thick that no light can get inside and yet the dark forest has spots of blue, yellow and pink lights all from Berry's that hang from the tree's ready to be picked. Its scary but beautiful so you have no problem going when Usopp dragged you aside begging for you to go, find seeds and gather food instead of him. You told him yes as long as he finishes your chores from yesterday which he happily agreed too since it was that or the dark forest. Luffy had already run off to explore so that just left you and Robin standing on the small patch of free ground where the Sunny's ramp could lay down letting the crew off, when ever you brushed up again a bush or flower it would suddenly start glowing making the two of you even more fascinated with the forest. "Y/n my love" Sanji yells out from the ship running over to the railing and almost slamming into it with slight panic thinking you had already left, but he relaxes when seeing you still standing there with Robin. Zoro sighs and places a hand on the cooks shoulder "Calm down, you know she wouldn't leave without us" the swordsman shakes his head while making his way down the ramp. You managed to clear things up with Nami and Robin so the two girls aren't mad at the boys but you still needed to talk to your lovers. It was deiced that the three of you would go off together and talk while they helped you pick food and Robin goes with Nami to map out the island.

Sanji quickly follows grabbing a large empty backpack and slinging it over his shoulder while throwing another one at the back of Zoro's head who growls spinning around to yell at the blonde but stops when seeing the stressed out look on his face. The two have been anxious to know what's going on but while Zoro is calm on the outside Sanji isn't, deciding not to pick a fight the swordsman picks up the backpack and slings it over his shoulder making his way over to you with the cook close behind. "You three head off, I'll wait for Nami. Don't stay out too late" Robin giggles patting you on the shoulder before nodding at the two boys who join you, with your empty backpack already on your back you head towards the forest pushing past leaves and bushes that glow different colors at any kind of touch. After a short while of pushing past the dense forest the three of you make it to a natural path, Its quiet but not a bad quiet, more like peaceful as if your in a silent comforting dream. "Its beautiful" You whisper to yourself seeing darkness all around and yet the glowing fruit above too high to reach look almost like stars while the fruit on the ground light up the way down the path. Zoro pulls a bright red cloth out of his backpack and ties it around the branch of tree you just passed through marking their way back for later. "My love… can we talk now?" Sanji asks stepping next to you and taking your hand snapping you out of your amazement, turning you give him a smile hoping to ease that worried look on his face "Sorry to keep you waiting, I'll do my best to explain."

Zoro holds onto your belt as you walk down the path, Sanji still gripping onto your hand as you explain what happened yesterday. "Percy wanted to know about our relationship, he just seemed confused and curious since he hasn't heard of anything like this before but then his questions started getting quicker, i didn't really have much time to answer or set things straight" Gripping onto the cooks hand you let out a breath trying to calm yourself not wanting to become emotional like yesterday, luckily the two give you time to calm yourself but offer caring glances and reassuring touches. "He started asking, what if you or I fall in love with someone else? i told he i would talk to you two before anything, but he just started to rephrase the same question over and over again. I don't know why but it made me panic a little… He started asking about cheating" Sanji flinches at the thought alone, he would never even dream of cheating on you or Zoro, it hurt that someone would accuse him of such. Zoro grits his teeth already knowing where this was going, he didn't blame you for being upset, but he's mad you didn't talk to them about it sooner and at Percy for even bringing it up. "I know you two would never, but he wouldn't stop talking, my mind couldn't catch up, he.. Just talked so fast" Tears well up in your eyes just thinking back to what he said and how it made you feel, stopping in your tracks you grip your teeth trying to stop yourself from crying again. Sanji's quick to pull you into a hug his hand stoking your hair to comfort you, Zoro rubs your back while trying to see your face that is buried in the cook's chest "We would never cheat on you" The two say in unison slightly surprising each other but at the same time it conformed their thinking the same way.

Sniffling, your hands grip onto Sanji's jacket starting to relax a little "I-i know you wouldn't but i felt my heart shatter, he came up with all these ways you'd hide it, how you'd cheat and who you would cheat with. He made it sound like its already happened and I felt like it already happened, like i was just finding out, the pain was excruciating… i couldn't take it, i tried to think i really tired but… i don't know how he did it but everything he said at the time made sense, its like he was specking the truth. I'm so sorry" Tears stream down your face as you cling onto the cook both of their eyes widening at your words, the cook holds you tight while placing a kiss on your head trying to sooth your cry's "Its alright Mi amour, i understand now… We would never hurt you, you did well to take time to think and come to us after" The blonde tries to stop himself from crying not wanting to make things worse but a tear slips out of his eye seeing you like this, Zoro stares down at you with anger but its not directed at you, he hates that Percy made you feel this way and put ideas into your head. Hearing the cook sniffle the swordsman looks over seeing the blonde holding back tears, sighing he wipes away a stray tear falling down Sanji's cheek before wrapping his arms around the two of you and placing a kiss on your head. "We're not mad at you, like Sanji said you did the right thing by tacking time to think on your own… None of this is your fault, ok?" The swordsman asks placing another kiss on your head, managing to calm down you wipe your eyes on your closed fist still gripping the cooks coat and nod while moving to look up at the two. "Y/n.. I need you to understand something" Zoro states looking down at you with a serous look.

Both you and Sanji raise an eyebrow at this but stay quiet knowing Zoro isn't joking around "What he did is manipulation, he attacked you mentally and emotionally to get what he wanted. You need to stay away from him, ok?" It sounded more like an order but you didn't protest instead you nod, Sanji sighs hating that this happened, but he's glad your back with them and ok, placing a kiss on your head the cook loosens his grip on you. "Do you think he meant to do it?" You ask thinking back to this morning, Percy's apology really seemed off but you still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt in case he didn't mean too. Zoro growls thinking back to this morning and that look in the young man's eye, he was ready to kill Sanji just for kissing your cheek. "Why would you say that love? i don't think you can un-continuously do that" Sanji asks moving some hair out of your face and cupping your cheek, leaning into his touch you place your hand over his "Percy talked to me this morning before breakfast, he apologized for upsetting me and said that because of my Kind and understanding nature people would take advantage of that, he didn't want me to end up like his farther, he wanted to protect me… I half accept his apology since he wasn't sorry for what he said about you two and i told him to just stay away from us three for a while. I-i just" Stopping yourself you look up at Zoro seeing him shake his head while Sanji glances away from you, the two know Percy's right about people wanting to take advantage but your smart when it comes to people, you read people quite well so for you to miss this must mean you relate to him in someway.

Looking between the two you start to worry, they know something you don't and it makes your heart drop "I fucked up, didn't it?" You whisper while looking down at your feet feeling stupid for letting Percy manipulate you a second time, Sanji pulls you into him again rubbing your back but not knowing what to say. Zoro shakes his head running his hand over your cheek and too your chin getting you to look up at him "Half fucked up.. Let me guess, Mother abandoned him, he has no family left, he trusts you and only you, he asks for your help, he feels safe around you. He pulls at your heart strings, making you feel for him, making you feel like you need to be there for him. Weather he's doing it on purpose of not it doesn't matter, he hurt you, half arsed an apology while continuing to manipulate you and then thinks he has the right to own you" The swordsman gets angrier and angrier with each word his mind going back to this morning and how Percy looked at the cook, your eyes widen at his tone but his grip on you doesn't tighten despite his anger. Taking his hand off your chin you bring it to your lips placing a firm kiss on it while Sanji places his hand on Zoro's arm rubbing it up and down to try and calm him "What happened this morning? Did Percy do something?" The blonde asks starting to get a little angry, he knew something was off with the young man, but he just put it down to the fact that it's a new guy on the ship. Zoro lets out a sigh trying to relax from his outburst while pulling the both of you into him holding you close to his chest, wrapping an arm around him you lean up and kiss the swordsman's cheek as the cook keeps his eyes on the green haired man's face.

Its clear there's still anger in Zoro's eyes but there's also worry, Sanji runs his hand up the swordsman's arm and to his cheek keeping eye contact "Yea… When you kissed Y/n this morning Percy tensed up, he had this murders look in his eyes while glaring at you and then he grabbed a knife holding it in a death grip. He watched you and i thought he was going to kill you but he relaxed and put it down" Sanji's eyes widen at this, his heart stopping in his chest as Zoro looks down at the cook, how could he not have noticed someone staring at him like that? he should have sensed it so why didn't he. "I don't understand, Why would he be acting like this? You've done nothing to him" You speak up with concern in your voice, Zoro shrugs unsure of the real answer, but he has a few guesses while Sanji shakes his head "I don't know but what ever the reason we should stay away from him and tell Nami and Robin later, just in case he's doing the same to them" The cook pulls away from the two of you but takes your hand giving a smile "Lets forget about him for now" Pulling the two of you along Sanji walks down the path wanting to enjoy some time with his partners, a smile appears on your face as you pick up your pace happily joining the two, the swordsman squeezes the cooks hand following behind. The time away from the ship is much calmer, the three of you pick fruit, herbs and flowers placing them in your backpacks to be sorted out later, you find a few glowing flowers that have seeds in them so make sure to pick them up as well.

Zoro leans against a tree keeping an ear out for any danger while watching his two partners work, Sanji picks up a small daisy like flower that glows your favorite color when he brushes the petals with his fingers, while your holding down a branch picking the fruit that easily comes away and placing it in your backpack. The cook walks over to you waiting until your done and let go of the branch to get your attention "My love" He whispers behind you his eyes soft as you hum in a questioning tone turning to face the cook. Sanji tucks your hair behind your ear before placing the flower neatly in your hair, a smile forms on his face as his fingers brush over the petals the glow string enough to to reflect on some of your face. "Perfect" He whispers making your heart melt at his actions, who need heart eyes when you have this. Stepping closer you run your hands up his chest and to his shoulders while placing a soft kiss on his lips "Your too sweet" You whisper against his lips as his hand rests on your hip the other still lightly touching the petals to keep them lighting up your hair and face in your favorite color. The swordsman can't help but smirk at the two of you while biting his tongue, he so badly wants to comment on how much of a sap the cook is and how cute you look, but he doesn't want to ruin the moment for the two of you, although once its over its fair game. Sanji leans down lightly kissing your lips while his thumb strokes your hip, happily kissing back you bring your hands around his neck holding him close to you letting a small hum leave your lips.

Pulling away the cook he takes your hand starting to walk back down the path again "Zo, belt" Sanji calls out earning a groan from the swordsman who follows behind the two of you and grabs your belt as to not get lost, trying to hold you laughs back becomes harder and harder every time you look back to see him either groan, pout or mumble under his breath in annoyance. "Stop it" Zoro walks right up behind you to growl in your ear making you jump slightly but keep walking trying to speed up a bit to give you some space but the green haired man grins following close behind "Stop what?" You ask feigning innocence as his hand tightens on your belt stopping you from walking so fast "Laughing at me, this is yours and the cooks stupid idea so don't make fun of me" Zoro growls a light blush spreading across his cheeks out of embarrassment, Sanji snickers under his breath while turning his head away trying not to laugh but the swordsman shoots him a glare "We'll if you didn't get lost all the time we wouldn't have to put measures in place" The cook shrugs letting out a few little laughs "I don't get lost" Zoro yells letting go of your belt and balling his fist up at his sides, you stop in your tracks to face him fully giving the swordsman a deadpan looks "Zoro… Which is left?" You ask seeing him raise an eyebrow at you before pointing the wrong way, a smile forms on your face as you grab his hand and attach it back onto your belt "Point. Made" You state turning on your heals and walking again forcing Zoro to follow.

Sanji bends over holding his stomach as he laughs but tries to follow the best he can "What? that.. that wasn't left?" Zoro gulps looking over at the cook with a fully red face, Sanji pats the swordsman on the back finally managing to control his laughter and shake his head, growing overly embarrassed Zoro yells into his hand in frustration before cursing out making you and Sanji laugh again, you feel sorry for him but you hope he knows your doing this for his own good. A few hours later the three of you make it back onto the Sunny with full bags, the first person you see is Usopp laying on the grassy deck sweat pouring down his face "I'll see you in the kitchen" You sigh placing a kiss on Sanji's cheek before turning to Zoro and doing the same but the swordsman wraps an arm around your waist not wanting to leave you alone but you place another kiss on his cheek "I'm just going to check on him and then i'm heading straight to the kitchen, i promise" You pat his chest trying to reassure the man, it seems to work since he lets out a sigh while squeezing your waist before letting you go and taking your backpack full of food off you "Usopp, then Kitchen nothing else, if Percy comes by you call" Zoro firmly states placing a kiss on your forehead, Sanji rubs your back placing a kiss on your cheek "I'll make you something cold to drink my love" The cook smiles at you walking off with Zoro close behind, giving him a small wave you head over to Usopp and stop next to him seeing his tired eyes.

Letting out a small laugh at his state you lean over him blocking the sun from hitting his burning face "You ok there bud?" You ask starting to get a little worried for him, the sniper groans looking up at you his chest heaving slightly "How?… How do you do it all?" He asks making you tilt your head in confusion, it takes a short while for it to hit you that he's talking about your chores from yesterday but you shake your head and help him sit up putting his arm around your shoulder "You didn't have to do them all in one go, don't tell me you did your own at the same time" Hoisting the long nosed man to his feet you walk him to the stairs knowing he needs something to drink "I wasn't supposed too?" Sighing at Usopp's words you shake your head helping him up the stairs and into the kitchen, Sanji smiles wide rushing to greet you only to stop at seeing Usopp's burning face, the cook gives you a hand taking the long nosed man to the sofa and laying him down. "I'll make you a drink… my love, your drink is ready" Sanji sighs shaking his head at the sniper before turning to you with a smile walking you over to the counter where you take a seat next to Zoro who's sipping on his own drink. The cook slides your cold drink over to you before starting to make another but keeps his eyes on you as you take a drink feeling the cold liquid run down your throat. Humming in delight your eyes meet Sanji's who's waiting for your verdict on the drink "Perfect as always darling" You comment making his heart thumb faster in his chest.

Taking the new drink he walks around the counter and places a light kiss on your lips "My love, it warms my heart to hear your praise" Sanji whispers against your lips his eyes full of love for you, reluctantly he pulls away from you to bring Usopp his drink and help the poor tired sniper drink it. Watching him leave you happily sigh feeling your chest warm up despite the cold drink, you let out a small squeak as your stool is pulled across the floor by Zoro who makes sure your pressed up next to him before wrapping an arm around your waist and letting his thumb rub your hip "Any trouble?" The swordsman asks looking you over while his hand taps his now empty glass, you can tell he's still a little anxious so to reassure him you place your hand on his cheek placing your lips on his. "None at all, other than Usopp overworking himself" you giggle placing another kiss on his lips, the swordsman hums into you placing more kisses on your lips before nipping at your lower lip wanting more, opening your mouth for him Zoro pushes his tongue into your mouth being surprisingly gentle. Enjoying his touch you don't notice Sanji coming back over his smile still bright while watching his partners, pulling away from his kiss you try and catch your breath as Zoro gives you a smirk. The cook places his head in between the two of you laying his chin on your touching shoulders, a chuckle leaves the swordsman before placing a kiss on the blondes cheek "Will you come back to us tonight?" Sanji reluctantly asks, but he needed to know, with a smile you lean into the cook while taking Zoro's hand "Of course, i love you both"

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merakiui · 1 year

Note

Mera your new event is so <3333 menu events are always such a cute idea

I'm here to put in my order, can I please have assorted macaroons and lacy lingerie from the miscellaneous menu? With Malleus and Azul, with sea salt caramel and lemon squares from the midnight menu?

Please and thank you (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

yandere!malleus draconia & azul ashengrotto x (gender neutral) reader cw: yandere, nsfw, dub-con, drugging/aphrodisiac use, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, delusion note - thank you for checking in, dearest guest! enjoy your order! [lunar love hotel]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ᴍᴀʟʟᴇᴜꜱ ᴅʀᴀᴄᴏɴɪᴀ

☆ Malleus adores you more than words can possibly describe. This love he feels is sugary and all-consuming; when he’s with you he feels whole. He feels as if the stars are aligned, as if nature has brightened and grown ten times more lush, as if he was meant to meet and cherish you from the very beginning, as if, even if the two of you were to be separated, he would still find you in another lifetime, drawn to you like a bee to flowers. So perhaps words can describe these feelings, if only in the most poetic of ways.

☆ Malleus knows he differs from human partners. For one, he’s much larger and he has two cocks that are inhumanly shaped. He knows you’ve held off on intimacy with him because you’re nervous, and truthfully he’s avoided it as well. Not because he wants to, but because he fears harming his beloved child of man. You must be properly prepared for such sizes. He only wishes to see your tears if they are tears of pleasure, after all.

☆ He’s very patient with you, and he doesn’t feel the need to rush into sex. He’s content with reaching the various bases at a pace that’s comfortable for you. In fact, he finds great enjoyment in exploring you, learning just how wonderful it is to hold your hand or to snuggle up to you late into the night, holding you close and hearing you whisper interesting stories.

☆ But even with this patience, Malleus finds himself distraught. He wants to love you in more ways than one. He wants to do all that lovers do. He wants to experience every side of this love: the sweet, the comfortable, the pleasurable, the pleasurably painful. Perhaps he has found himself enchanted by the romances he has read alongside you, where he envisions the both of you in the place of the main characters in the story. These characters connect in the most bodily of ways. Malleus would like that.

☆ He has been content to tell himself that kissing and holding hands is enough. That the occasional lustful tryst late into the night is enough, where wandering hands only stray so far, but there is an itch that grows increasingly persistent with each day. He thinks of how glorious it would be to consummate your relationship of nearly one year with you, the both of you virgins in love. He tries to broach the subject without appearing forceful or awkward, but you tell him you’re just not ready. He understands. He does. But even so...

☆ Malleus has heard that aphrodisiacs are powerful. In a way, it feels insincere, almost as if he’s cheating. But he reassures himself with the thought that this aphrodisiac will help you to be more pliable, to help you loosen up and take him, inch by inch, until he’s completely buried inside your tight warmth. This will help you; it won’t harm you.

☆ Though the drug turns you into an insatiable mess, Malleus thinks it’s endearing. The way you cling to him, asking him so innocently if doing this will help. Of course it will. You’ll feel much better when he satisfies every urge that you’re still too hesitant to act on. Malleus will take care of you; he always has. He spends so long between your legs, lavishing every part of your body with soft, loving touches. He’s going to prepare you well so that he won’t cause you any discomfort when he slides in.

☆ Even in this state, you still become very nervous when you see his size. The thick head of his cock kisses your hole, which has been properly stretched and lubed, but even with the preparation you’re still terrified. You squirm anxiously under him, squeezing his hand so tightly, asking him if you can try this another time. You’re scared, and your fear has Malleus frowning. You have nothing to fear. It’ll be okay. He tells you to look at him rather than what’s happening below. You’ll feel much better soon; he’ll be gentle. All these assurances gradually melt your fears, and you think part of that is due to the aphrodisiac.

☆ Even though you aren’t entirely confident or accepting of this, you trust Malleus. Though maybe that’s also the aphrodisiac. It’s twisting your senses, making you crave both of his cocks even though you and Malleus know you’re in no state to take both, no matter how lust-drunk you may be.

☆ And when he pushes in so slowly, thick inches stretching you wide and filling you so snugly, the final bits of hesitation ebb away, quickly replaced with a euphoria so delicious it has you raking your nails across his back. Malleus is pleased to be marked by you, a symbol of this love, but he’s even more pleased to be inside you. You’re just as warm on the inside as you are on the outside, as expected. You’re truly the only one he could ever love to this extent.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ᴀᴢᴜʟ ᴀꜱʜᴇɴɢʀᴏᴛᴛᴏ

☆ Azul likes to consider himself patient, but this is his first romantic relationship and so you can’t exactly blame him for his excitement, no matter how overwhelming it may seem. He tries to hide his eagerness, but it’s obvious he’s immensely pleased when he gets to do all of the wonderful things couples do. He’s only ever dreamed of sweet moments like that, so the fact that he gets to experience all of it with you, his most beloved angelfish, makes him the happiest octo-mer alive.

☆ Almost all of it. He’s only been dating you for six months, which is a world record by his standards, but in that time the both of you haven’t gone as far as he would have liked. He’s kissed you hundreds of times, the both of you exchanging breath and saliva in the alluring privacy of his VIP room, and each time it feels as though it might become something more you stop him. He's a gentleman, so naturally he respects your boundaries, but he can only enjoy so many handjobs and blowjobs before he starts to want more.

☆ Azul is greedy; this is a fatal flaw he recognizes well. He’ll mask his greed behind pleasant smiles and charms, always handling you with such kind consideration. He’s a gentleman, so he won’t ask to stick it in outright, even if that’s all he can think of when he watches you take his cock in your pretty, warm mouth. He suspects your hole is just as warm and welcoming. What he’d give to be inside you... To have you bent over his desk, to have you folded into a mating press in his bedroom, to have you fucking yourself on him as if he’s the only man in the world.

☆ As shady as he can be, he’s still your boyfriend and he cares for you so much. Azul would never do anything to hurt you, and since you can’t use magic you’ll be unable to sense the aphrodisiac he’s mixed into your tea. This is no ordinary aphrodisiac; he’s taken his time crafting it in solitude in the alchemy lab so that the desired effect will be much stronger. It won’t hurt you; if anything, it will bring you and Azul closer together! This is the push you’ve been needing!

☆ Azul acts as he normally does, happily chatting with you over tea and a board game. He occasionally glances at you the deeper into the game you get, watching the way you slowly but surely succumb to the effects. He asks if you’re okay, the question spilling from his lips so smoothly, and you insist that you’re fine. But you’re fidgeting in your seat, awkwardly looking everywhere that isn’t at him.

☆ When you’re completely overwhelmed and unfocused, he stands from his seat and easily walks around his desk, lowering to his knees in front of you. He rests his hands on your thighs, smiling up at you so fondly. If you wanted to play other games, you should have just said so. You try to push him away from the spot between your legs, insisting that you’re okay and that it’s his move for the game. But Azul doesn’t want to play it anymore; he looks you in the eyes and asks if you love him. And you do; you love him a lot. So then you’ll trust him to take care of you, right?

☆ You can’t possibly say no to such a pretty face, even if it’s all you’re trying to do. But the aphrodisiac muddles your mind, twisting your apprehensions into acceptance. You let him have his fun between your legs, your fingers curled in silvery locks, and he has you crying in your seat, working you through a total of three orgasms before you manage to push him away, panting wet, hot breaths.

☆ Azul helps you stand on shaky legs, lowering you onto his desk, all while whispering the sweetest of praises to you. He calls you all the things you love to be called. You look up at him through bleary eyes, nerves alight with ecstasy, and when he’s slicked his cock up with lube and the head prods at your hole you grab his hand, shaking your head. “Not inside,” you mumble, but Azul knows you don’t mean that.

☆ He leans in to capture your lips in a chaste kiss. “Just the tip,” he promises, all lovestruck smiles. “You’ll feel so good, angelfish. Just trust me.”

☆ And you do, but this lust-induced trust has you arching your back against the desk when he slides all the way in in an impatient thrust. You gasp out little moans and lust-drunk mumblings of how you like it, how good it feels, how big he is, how you want him rougher and deeper... And who is Azul to deny his angelfish of such perfect pleasures?

#yandere twst #yandere twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere malleus draconia #yandere malleus draconia x reader #yandere malleus #yandere malleus x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul ashengrotto x reader #yandere azul #yandere azul x reader #n/sfw #tw: dubcon #tw: drugging #lunar love hotel 2023

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mageknight14 · 2 months

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Exploring the Parallels Between Our Favorite (and Only) Conductors

One thing I think is really cool about the Kitaniji and Shiba parallels is how they both idolized the Composers/Higher Plane members they were in contact with but take that idolization into different directions and how these are reflected in Neku and Rindo’s individual flaws.

First we have Kitaniji, who idolized Joshua and put him and his status as Composer on a pedestal, and thus, in an attempt to try and save Shibuya, conducted a plan to try and rob the city of its individuality and make it a hive mind to, in his view, appease the Composer. However, what Kitaniji failed to consider that what HE, as an individual, wanted was counterintuitive to what Joshua truly desired as shown by the rules/structure of the Shibuya Game and his various interactions with Neku throughout their week together.

Kitaniji acts in a way he presumes would please Joshua, thinking that initiating the human instrumentality project would be the thing to please him most when that's far from the truth, simply because he's unable to look past his ego. He thinks he understands Joshua best, despite not taking the time to actually get to know him (which sounds an awful lot like toxic idol culture) and only ends up projecting his own insecurities about human connection onto Joshua as desires that a god would share as well because hey, why would a god care about empathizing and connecting with people when they’re just so much better than them, right?

He failed to see Joshua for the flawed individual that he was as opposed to the almighty Composer and instead of trying to genuinely connect with him and perhaps convince him otherwise when it came to his plan to eradicate Shibuya, goes right into the brainwashing scheme, essentially doubling down on his flawed mindset. Kitaniji’s idolization makes him believe that he is something akin to a God as well; makes him feel closer to Joshua in a way. In short, Kitaniji’s idol worship is a conscious, agency-prone outcome mediated by the false relationship he has with Joshua.

Throughout the game, Kitaniji makes conscious (and unhealthy) decisions through his idolization of another person; he also believes he has a measure of personal agency and individuality that makes him more important than others, probably in part due to the "special relationship" he believes he has with Joshua (more idol worship toxicity) despite ironically being an empty individual and misinterpreting his intentions, which is what leads to his downfall. This in contrast to Neku, who due to his past trauma concerning his friend’s death, latches onto his flawed misinterpretation of his idol CAT’s words, only for CAT himself to set the record straight, causing Neku to realize throughout the game how he may have twisted his idol’s (Hanekoma) message to support his bias of isolation, and finally understand what CAT's words meant. This in turn is what allows Neku to finally get through to Joshua and convince him through his actions that Shibuya, and by extension humanity, can truly change for the better and gets him to spare the city. A happy ending that a Shibuya free of individuality wouldn’t have been able to achieve.

In NEO TWEWY, we have Shiba, someone who rises through the ranks of the Reaper hierarchy incredibly quickly and thus, became easy pickings for Kubo to try and manipulate to do his bidding; a man that has obtained so much power that he actually begins to idolize himself, thinking himself so strong and important that now he can whimsically make decisions about life and death, treat every situation as some kind of game, and judge people as he sees fit. Shiba only thinks himself as holding such an important role, which really belongs to Kubo's because of Kubo setting things up in such a way that made it so that Shiba's newfound powers would fuck with his ability to rationalize. Kubo fed into Shiba’s ego and slowly nudged him into the direction of shutting out his loved ones, which then leads into a cycle of Shiba becoming worse and worse thanks to the influence of his powers/Kubo and the Shinjuku gang isolating themselves from him. He becomes convinced that what Kubo wants is what HE desires as well, even if that’s not truly the case deep down, and throws himself more and more into his work to accomplish that, which, of course, only adds onto the cycle I described above more and more.

What's interesting here is that Shiba doesn’t draw any implicit or explicit motivations from his relationship with Kubo; he’s just another guy to him. We can make the argument that Kubo as a character symbolizes a particular substrate of toxic idolizing in that he represents status, a constituent of success that Shiba clamors for in the hopes that he can idolize himself. However, with that being said, the relationship between Shiba and Kubo itself in the story has no bearing on the former’s personal drive the way Kitaniji’s relationship with Joshua does. Rather, what Shiba’s idolism represents is the corruption of one's sense of self when they fall too deep into the cesspool of influencer stardom/corporate corruption; the overinflation of ego that becomes a malicious byproduct of commanding such an effect over large numbers of people.

If you remember, Shiba initially started off in Shinjuku promising change and a better lifestyle for his fellow Reapers, which they clearly took to heart and gladly followed after him, speaking volumes about his charisma. But then when he got a taste of his newfound power after the conclusion of the Shinjuku revolt, he became more and more detached from the people and found himself sinking into the singularity of his own self-indulgence.

This can be considered an almost 1-to-1 parallel with influencer behavior and in a way, Shiba is kind of what Motoi was hoping he'd be before he found some clarity by actually having to look into the face of the fan he was nonchalantly treating as a pawn to stardom and came to realize just how damaging his actions were overall.

In contrast to Shiba, we have Rindo, who also has the flaw of internalizing someone else’s thoughts and opinions as his own, something that gets repeatedly shown off in his interactions with Swallow and Motoi/an0ther. Hell, it gets to the point that Sumio, Motoi’s second-in-command, is able to play on Rindo’s need for validation from his idol and trick him into helping him (I love how Beat in the last pic here sighs in his sprites because he knows that Rindo fell for it, hook, line, and sinker)

However, what truly cements the parallel here is this convo Shiba has with Tsugumi in the Last Day Intervention.

Shiba here basically flat out admits that he was afraid of having to face the consequences of his decisions. Of having to own up to the fact that his self-destructive actions were causing harm to himself and others and so, in an effort to try and suppress that feeling of insecurity, he saw it fit to run away from the warning signs and trap himself in his own self-isolating bubble in order to avoid taking responsibility.

Now, who does that remind you of?

Now, at first glance, this comparison might seem like a stretch, but there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First, let's think back on what Nagi said about Shiba at the end of W3D3 after Kanon's erasure.

When we reflect on what Nagi said, you start to realize that the majority of Shiba's actions throughout the third week was due to his feelings of anger and hurt following what he feels is a personal betrayal from the people he cares about the most and how he then takes out that anger on the people below him. First there's his calling out Shoka personally out of anger of a mix of betraying him and the others by switching to Rindo's group and blaming her for HIS encouraging Ayano to take drastic measures such as personally infecting herself with the Plague in order to try and get Shoka to come back.

Which then leads into the next day where Shiba, out of anger concerning Ayano's erasure, sends out more Plague Noise to target the remaining teams so that they can feel the grief he's currently going through, which ends with Kanon, the Twisters' most supportive ally, getting caught in the crossfire and subsequently erased, which Nagi's analysis on Shiba alludes to when she comments on his wrathful energy in the morning announcment.

Combine this with him sending out Plague Noise that take on phantom images of the Twisters' failures and traumas and him getting so pissed at Susukichi betraying him in a previous timeline on W3D6 that he causes the Inversion a day earlier than intended and you get the sense that Shiba is lashing out at the others for what he views to be their fault, while never reflecting on his own fault on the matter due to a combination of the Dissonance affecting him so deeply and his refusal to see just how much he's hurting the people he cares about the most.

Much like how Rindo tends to lash out at others whenever he feels pressured to make a decision or face the possibility of having to take responsibility of his actions, Shiba's actions can be considered an example of what can happen if that flaw was taken to its worst possible conclusion. Both Rindo and Shiba are afraid of having to face the consequences of their actions and try to avoid facing them by either pawning off responsibility off of someone else or just outright tuning out the warning signs altogether. They put the people around them at arm's lengths, often taking them for granted, and become paranoid around others out of fear what will happen to them if they get too close. However, Rindo eventually starts becoming more savvy to his idol’s intentions and actively seeks out the truth about him, resulting in him breaking away from Motoi’s influence and slowly becoming more assured in himself and his decisions. He becomes more aware of his friends' struggles and will often try to do right by them (as shown with his talks with Shoka and the contrast between his and Fret's conversations at the beginning and end of the game). This is shown off in two ways, with Rindo and Shiba's confrontation at the end of W2D7 and W3D7 being flipped to have Rindo and Shiba trading places to show who’s on top, Shiba utterly alone in contrast to Rindo being surrounded by others, the Wicked Twisters dominating the screen while Shiba can only shrink back in defeat and Shiba being invisible in the Crossing (despite being surrounded by all those people) while Rindo is literally embedded in an ever-expanding Social Network.

By the end, Rindo actively takes accountability for his actions and achieves the happy ending he strives for, even helping with bringing Shiba back to his senses. Shiba on the other hand, once his influential power gets to his heart, begins to devalue the significance of the wants, needs, and individuality of the people who followed him fervently, and it's not until he gets his ass kicked and then is forced to face his number one fan/the person he cares about most, Hishima (another parallel with Rindo and Motoi), does he come to terms with how his actions have affected people he cares about, and is able to break out of his own self-idolizing and begin his path towards reformation, taking responsibility for his actions much in the same way that Rindo himself does.

To recap, Kitaniji becomes convinced that what he’s doing is what JOSHUA wants while Shiba becomes convinced that what KUBO wants is what he actually desires when that’s really not the case and I find these parallels to be incredibly fascinating. Kitaniji and Shiba are considered to be the ideal of what a Reaper should be in their respective cities and what's especially interesting is how while the values each game tries to instill does have merit when applied to our lives, they also show off the downsides of what those values can have if you're not especially careful.

On one end, you have Kitaniji, who is the "ideal" of a Shibuya Reaper. Highly unique and imaginative, has a very strong sense of self and sense of identity. Is an individualist but is also very isolated as a result. Tellingly, when Joshua starts to force his hand and basically tells him to come up with a way to save the city or get fucked, Kitaniji starts going down a dark path and tries to rob the citizens of Shibuya of their individuality in order to save the city from becoming destroyed, unknowingly increasing its countdown to its inevitable destruction and became twisted into a raving madman that insists that he’s saving humanity and is shepherding them into a new ideal utopia.

By contrast, when you take a look at the flashbacks and how the others speak about him before he got his new powers, Shiba is shown an be incredibly charismatic individual and this goes hand in hand with his role as the most powerful of the Shinjuku Reapers. His leadership and connections are his strength. He’s a social butterfly (his Noise powers and pendant are themed for a reason) and is considered the ideal of a Shinjuku Reaper. However, thanks to his new powers getting to his head, he’s pushed away all of his remaining allies and now has just about no one but himself, the emotional isolation being incredibly damaging to both himself and the people he cares about .Susukichi, Rindo, and Neku even talk about this, speculating about how he must be lonely and how his new powers most likely contributed to this.

Both TWEWY games can be read as a cautionary tale of idolism; of influencer status; of becoming so disillusioned that you either close yourself off to others or deem yourself so important that other people matter far less. Last but not least, they emphasize the importance of being accountable for one's own self, especially in a society of influencers because at the end of the day, it's important that you believe in your own views and can uphold them responsibly; it's important to not blindly follow others, especially if your self-worth hinges on it and ESPECIALLY if they become like Shiba or Kitaniji.

#twewy #the world ends with you #neo the world ends with you #neo twewy #ntwewy #rindo kanade #neku sakuraba #yoshiya kiryu #megumi kitaniji #shiba miyakaze #analysis post

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satureja13 · 2 months

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Jack is disenchanted and disappointed. As exciting as it was to talk to Tiny Can, he'd expected more of the AI Therapist.

Sai went back to sleep again, he's exhaused from crying and reliving his worst memories. And Ji Ho and Jack decided to play a bit. But the only 'game' available is a boring puzzle... Jack: "Oh my, I don't know what's more boring. This puzzle or our therapy... Have they never heard about gamification? Or fun? Or to make it a bit more interesting?" Ji Ho agreed. Though the insight about Vlad and his own locked away feelings was interesting. Maybe he should follow and explore these thoughts a bit deeper.

Suddenly Saiwa was wide awake: "What did you just say, Jack?"

Jack: "Uh - probably something wrong? You finish the puzzle, Ji Ho, I go and run."

Saiwa: "No! That's actually brilliant!

Gamification! The Game!!!

We combine the AI with our game and make it a Therapy Game!" Jack and Ji Ho: "..." (Haha you can see how Jack and Ji Ho's brains are working ^^') Saiwa: "And not just for us - for other creatures too! This would have been so helpful when we'd been so scared and alone! And who knows? This could be a sucess and we'd make money to pay Rubyn and the others back!" We barely get to see Saiwa this excited ^^' But here some of his main interests meet, his love for games and computers - and being there for others and help them.

Vlad went back home to grab Saiwa, Jack and Ji Ho's content they'd already had created for their game over the last months and then they started their epic gathering to develop the:

For the computer game they'd planned, Jack already made the concept art and design, Vlad wrote and Ji Ho composed the music and soundscapes. They are going to feed all this to Tiny Can and see what kind of 'gamification therapy' he'll create. How exciting! (For me it really is! Imagine this: a game that also is a therapy - supported by an AI! How amazing would that be if you could see the things that make you suffer from a distance and you'd find solutions for them by doing insightful AND funny AND interesting quests! You'd gain helpful new habits and get rid of unhealthy ones by playing a game! Where I live it's so hard to find a therapy place. We have to wait up to a year -.- I do have high hopes in AI. You could go by your own pace. And you wouldn't even have to leave the house!)

After a very long gathering, Ji Ho and Jack relaxed in the hot tub. Jack's pain is thanking him. They sat silent for quite a while, lost in their thoughts. Very unusual for Jack, but his brain is running on hyper speed now. He's so excited :3 And Ji Ho was pondering about his locked down feelings. The Bond made it easy for him to love Luci. They had a whole different approach to each other. While his relationship with Vlad was doomed from the beginning (their story in (kind of ^^') short -> here).

The only ocassions where Ji Ho was really comfortable with Vlad was, when they touched and made love. And this is also a benefit of the Bond and Luci because Ji Ho hated being touched in the beginning. After all he'd seen at the House of the rising Sun in the slums of Sulani. But Luci had approached him slowly and tenderly. Ji Ho shared his thoughts with Jack: "Do you think this might be a way to become more comfortable with Vlad and finally be able to love him? And to find my buried down feelings?" Jack: "I think that's brilliant! At least one of us learned something in that therapy. When you charge the Bond later, just try a bit more and we'll see how it goes."

A little later Vlad came down: "Uhm, I'm leaving now. The Bond..."

Ji Ho left the hot tub and went over to Vlad to charge the Bond - and try his new theory... They embraced each other as usual and then Ji Ho tried to kiss Vlad.

But Vlad moved his head aside and whispered: "I want nothing more than you - but not like this." Vlad's breath ghosted over Ji Ho's still wet skin and made him shiver.

Vlad still has his principles - not to forget his foolish pride. No way he's going to have a plain physical relationship with Ji Ho - without love. There is no 'two out of three ain't bad' or 'it's better than nothing' in Vlad's world ^^' Only 'it's all or nothing'. He would do anything for Ji Ho, but he won't - and can't do that. It would break him apart. That does not mean it was easy for him to not give in and leave. Vlad really is the master of self control ö.ö

And then Vlad left. Ji Ho seems a bit piqued after Vlad's rejection ^^'

'I can't stop this feeling Deep inside of me Girl, you just don't realize What you do to me

When you hold me In your arms so tight You let me know Everything's all right

I'm hooked on a feeling I'm high on believing That you're in love with me'

Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede from the OST of Guardians of the Galaxy I

Outtakes

He will be mine, oh yes, he will be mine.

Yang Mal: "Can we grill our corncobs now?" 🌽 Saiwa: "Uhm - sure ö.Ö'"

Ji Ho checking the mail... 📬 Who might have sent that letter when Ji Ho looks like that?

Tyalindo watching the sun set 🌅

From the Beginning ~ Underwater Love ~ Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

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