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becca-alexa · 1 year

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Ride the Lightning

Chapter One: Prelude

Read on AO3!

01 ┋ 02 ┋ 03 ┋ 04 ┋ 05 ┋ 06 ┋ 07 ┋ 08 ┋ 09 ┋ 10 ┋ 11 ┋ 12 ┋ 13

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Original Female Character

Summary: Eddie Munson hated Veronica Windsor, the newest student at Hawkins High, and she hated him just as much. When a situation arises that brings them together, will they both emerge unscathed? Will things forever change between them?

Word Count: 3.3K

Content Warnings: [N/A]

Author's Note: I tried to be cool and name the chapters after songs that would have been around in '86 - mainly Metallica, W.A.S.P, Mötley Crüe, Judas Priest, and The Smiths. I might make a playlist with all the songs once this is over, just for fun. Let me know if you liked this! I'm excited to get this going!

Nestled somewhere between the preps, jocks, and goths, stretching far across the expanse of laminate tabletops and trays of barely-edible slop sat the familiar members of the Hellfire Club, all enthralled in conversations over their latest campaign, the excitement in their voices clear and carrying over those of the students around them. Dustin’s head snapped back with pealing laughter at a comment Gareth had made; Jeff and Thomas were both hunched around Will, staring in awe as he flipped through a handful of drawings from his sketchbook - designs for their newest D&D characters. And, arguably the most “normal” among their rag-tag band of outcasts, Mike and Lucas both ate their pitiful excuses for lunches in a mutual silence, picking up bits and pieces of the discussions around them, answering when needed - but, for the most part, listening.

And watching.

The only one seemingly out of character was Eddie, quiet as he picked at his bag of pretzels, his gaze locked onto… something, his attention consumed, entranced, by whatever - or whoever - had caught his eye - and, by the look of him, he wasn’t very happy about it.

“Guys, who…?” Lucas twisted himself around, nearly falling from his seat as he tried to follow Eddie’s apparent line of sight, asking the rest of the group, “Who is he staring at?”

Their conversations ground to an abrupt halt at his question, everyone’s attention turning toward their fearless leader - who was still painfully oblivious to their odd looks. “Do you even have to ask?” Dustin offered in response, rolling his eyes, smirking as he shoved a handful of soggy fries into his mouth.

Lucas replied with a shrug, hands raised in confusion, “I don't-”

“It’s Veronica, dude.” Jeff graciously chimed in, giving Lucas a nudge toward his left, pointing out the girl in question from among the crowd - she was sitting across from a fierce-looking Max, her back to them, her shoulders shaking in laughter at something Robin had said.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘Oh’ - and you better cut it out, man.” Dustin turned to Eddie, a frown etched into his soft features as he swat at his arm. “Max keeps giving us the stink eye.”

Eddie blinked, as if only now hearing what they were saying, and he frowned. “If you’re all so curious, I am not staring at her - I’m glaring. Menacingly.” He stuffed a few pretzels into his mouth, his gaze never leaving the back of Veronica’s head. “There’s a difference.”

“Why don’t you like her?” Will asked, ever the innocent one, his head falling to the side in confusion as he poked a straw through his juice cup. “She’s really nice.”

“Yeah, man.” Mike quickly agreed, nodding as he added, “She’s pretty cool, plus she's never mean to us."

Eddie groaned, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “What, like I’m just supposed to like everyone?” he snapped, eyes narrowed as he turned to the table, jaw tight, lips pressed into a frown.

“I mean, technically, no - but you’re the only one who doesn’t like her.” Dustin pointed out, his observation serving only to worsen Eddie’s mood; the others all nodded in agreement - and he could only stare at them in disbelief - in betrayal. His mouth thinned in annoyance at their sudden interrogation - and over Veronica Windsor, of all people.

“Whatever, dudes…” He’d already listened to more than he could stomach; rising from his seat, he gathered his things, stuffing his baggie of pretzels into his pocket as he made for the door.

“You’re leaving?” Gareth shouted after him, confusion clear in his voice. “Hey, lunch isn’t over yet!”

“I lost my appetite.” Eddie said, his frown evident in his voice.

“C’mon, Eddie…” Dustin said, his voice urging the older man to come back. “Promise we’ll stop-”

“I’ll be in the theatre room.” He didn’t bother turning around. “Just scream if you need me.”

The group watched in pained silence as he disappeared into the ever-present sea of students, all wondering why he was so sensitive when it came to her.

And they weren’t the only ones watching.

“And… He’s gone.” Max announced, stretching her neck to see over the crowd, her eyes following Eddie out of the lunch room.

“Finally.” Veronica said with a sigh, her hands tucked between her knees, shoulders hunched forward as she slumped into her seat, an unwanted shiver coursing through her. “I swear to God, it's like I can feel him staring holes into the back of my head.”

“That’s just Eddie being… well, Eddie.” Nancy offered with a smile, but it did little to reassure her.

“I swear, he’s usually not like this, though.” Most days, Robin tried her best to keep her friend from thinking that Eddie was a complete lunatic, but even she couldn't dispel Veronica's doubts entirely. “At least, I don’t think he is. He probably doesn’t mean anything by it-”

“Sure, and I’m Barbara Walters.”

“Why does he hate you so much?” Max asked, a full-mouthed El nodding at her side in agreement, eyes wide and bright with curiosity.

“Hell if I know!” Her head dropped into her hands with a frustrated groan, shaking as she added, “I bumped into him in the hall one day and, bam - sworn enemies.”

“He’s usually a sweetheart-” Robin began, but was quickly silenced by the piercing look Veronica threw her way.

“Munson? You're telling me that Edward J. Munson is a sweetheart?” She couldn't help but bark out a laugh, cynical and dry, her bland excuse of a lunch long since forgotten. “Please. Might as well have told me Satan lives under the town or something.”

“Well, technically-”

“Anyway,” Max interrupted, shooting Robin a chastising look that, luckily, went unnoticed by Veronica. “Are we still meeting up later?”

It was the first Friday of the month, which meant their group gathered at Nancy Wheeler’s for a slumber party - a tradition they’d long since held, and one that Veronica found herself joining into seamlessly, almost as if she’d been with them since the very beginning.

“I promised Mr. Clayborne I’d help him clean up after school.” Veronica answered, fumbling with something in the bag at her side.

Max struggled to hide her disappointment. “O-Oh.”

“Let me guess - extra credit?” Nancy asked, rolling her eyes dramatically, knowing that, wherever those golden words were involved, Veronica would always be the first on the scene.

“Every point counts, right?” Looking up, Veronica softened at the sadness lying just behind Max’s eyes, a tightness settling in her chest. “Hey, I’ll go straight over once I’m finished, alright?” At her reassurance, the redhead seemed to perk up, even if only a little. “It shouldn’t take too long, I promise.”

"Pick up the pace, Henderson! We only got an hour before the guys start showing up!"

Eddie and Dustin rounded the corner to the empty hallway, each holding a box filled nearly to overflow with stuff the older boy had gathered to add to their setup - candles, strings of holiday lights, plastic skulls he'd found at the bottom of the discount bin at Melvald's that he'd repainted to look decrepit and aged.

"Didn't you finish this last week?" Dustin asked, adjusting his grip on the box, nearly tripping over his own shoelaces as he tried to keep pace with him.

"I need to add some final touches - then it’ll be perfect." Eddie replied with an easy smile, having already planned out the placement of each of the items. But, as they neared the drama room, he slowly came to a stop, with Dustin struggling to balance the heavy box atop his hip.

“Dude, what gives?” the younger boy asked, already feeling a layer of sweat begin to bead underneath the brim of his cap. “Why’d you stop?”

Eddie slowly approached the door, straining to listen to the music coming from inside the drama room, frowning as he recognized the song - Can’t Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon. Had Mr. Clayborne left the radio on? Just as he’d taken a step forward, the soft melody of someone’s voice demanded his attention; it was gentle, sweet, and it made his stomach flip, twist, wrench as a familiar heat began to boil deep within his gut.

Only one person would ever stay at school this late - and on a Friday afternoon, no less.

Eddie all but jumped for the door, throwing it open with a single hand, the wooden thing crashing against the wall, nearly clipping Dustin on its backswing.

"Oh, for the love of- Windsor!"

At the sudden slam, Veronica let out an ear-piercing shriek, the handle of the broom she’d been holding clutched almost painfully against her chest as she spun around, long braids wrapping around her, skirt still billowing about her knees as she shouted, "For Christ's sake, Munson!" Chucking the damned broom aside, she marched up to where he was standing, a nervous-looking Duston only paces behind him. "What the Hell is wrong with you?"

"With me?" he shouted back, voice loud booming, chest expanding in anger at having come across her, of all people. "What's wrong with you? And what are you doing in our room?" Looking around, his face fell at the sight of… everything, stacked, sorted, and neat about the space - and out of the arrangement he’d worked so hard to perfect. Chairs were pushed back against the wall, tables folded and stored away.

"Uh… Cleaning? This place was a mess." Her rolling eyes only incensed him further, and Dustin could tell he was veering toward the Danger Zone.

"O-Oh, no…"

"Mr. Clayborne asked me to organize in here." She took a step back, leveling herself with him, hands planted firmly on her hips as she leaned toward him in pure challenge - and, to add insult to injury, she batted her eyes. "Why? Is that a problem?"

"Yeah, it's a problem - you touched our shit!” Eddie exclaimed, waving an arm toward where their Hellfire setup had once sat, now empty and cold.

"First of all, this is the school's shit, which I received express permission to touch.” Setting aside his mounting panic for but a moment, Dustin couldn’t help the admiration he held for Veronica - if anyone could hold their own against Eddie’s temper, it was her. “And, secondly - I didn't throw any of your junk away. Your dolls-"

Eddie blinked once, twice, the inner mechanisms of his mind all but visibly working to understand what she’d said, his voice quiet as he repeated, "Dolls…?"

"Shit, shit, shit, shit-" Dustin hissed, dragging his hands down his face, watching in horror through his slotted fingers, his gaze following the searing wave of red scaling up the pale column of Eddie’s throat.

"Dolls?" He screamed, the sound echoing through the room as he took a step forward, forcing himself into Veronica’s personal space, his face a mere breath away from hers. She could feel the heat radiating from him, unfiltered rage at having had his passion mocked so openly, so bluntly. "Look, Windsor-"

Dustin pushed himself between them, grabbing Veronica by the wrist and all but dragging her toward the door, making sure to pick up her bag on their way out, voice quaking as he exclaimed, "H-Hey, Veronica! Can I talk to you for a sec? Great, thanks!"

"Dustin, what-" Veronica pulled herself free of his grasp; she tried to go back into the room, only to be stopped by the youngling, his body physically blocking the doorway.

"You need to leave."

"Excuse me?" She couldn’t believe what she was hearing - Eddie was the one who showed up and caused a massive scene over what was, arguably, nothing, and she was the one being told to leave?

"You. Need. To leave - before Eddie goes full Death Star on both of us."

Veronica raised her hands in equal parts exasperation and confusion. "What does that even mean-"

"I'll explain later! Just, please…!" Dustin begged, shoving her bag into her arms and pushing her down the empty hallway.

Veronica took in a breath, closing her eyes as she brought her rising temper in check, all while Dustin was practically having kittens at her indecision. "Fine - but if that room's a mess tomorrow morning, I'm blaming it on you guys!"

“Henderson!” Eddie screamed, his patience obviously worn thin.

Pleading, Dustin shouted, "F-Fine! Okay! Just go!" Watching as she disappeared down the hall, he took in what he’d hoped was a calming breath before jumping back into the lion’s den that was their Hellfire room, praying he was prepared enough to deal with Eddie’s blackened mood.

He walked in slowly, cautiously, nerves wracked as he watched Eddie drag the massive wooden table back to its rightful place in the center of the room. "H-Hey, man, it's okay-"

"What part of this looks okay to you?" he shouted, face still red, his voice quaking as he spoke. "It took me three weeks to get this place perfect, Dustin! Three weeks! And she ruined everything-"

"Eddie! Eddie, listen to me! It's fine!" Dustin insisted, grabbing his mentor by both arms, giving him a settling shake in hopes of clearing his mind - or, at least, distracting him. "We'll get everything set up again. It's not that big a deal, man-"

"Whoa, what happened here?" Gareth's voice echoed through the space, the rest of the group following closely behind him, all staring at the empty room; Eddie rolled his eyes, tugging himself free of Dustin's grasp as he went to grab a stack of chairs.

"Veronica." Dustin confessed, lifting his cap as to drag a hand through his errant curls. "Mr. Clayborne asked her to clean things up and she put everything away."

"She shouldn't have been in here." mumbled Eddie, digging through one of the stacked boxes nearby, his arm shoved inside nearly to the elbow as he tried to find the stacks of terrain maps he’d left behind after their last session. "This is our space."

"She was just doing what he asked her to do!" Dustin groaned, pinching the space between his eyebrows as he felt a headache coming on.

"Honestly, though, it was getting kinda grody in here." Thomas added, moving to help Eddie search for their things.

Mike and Will both chimed in, "Agreed."

And their responses only further upset Eddie, who rolled his eyes as he grumbled, "Whatever."

"Yeah, dude - and you really shouldn't have yelled at her like that."

At Dustin’s words, the room seemed to still, everyone turning to look at Eddie, matching expressions of surprise frozen onto their faces. "Hold up, you were yelling at her? At Veronica?" Lucas asked, clearly stunned that anyone - including Eddie - would ever think to raise their voice at her at all, especially considering the circumstances. They all knew how deeply Eddie’s disdain for the girl went, but to yell at her? "Like, how loud are we talkin'?"

"Sinclair-"

Jeff stepped forward, his grip rough as it landed on Eddie’s shoulder, squeezing as he shook his head in… disappointment? Eddie couldn’t tell. "Dude, did you at least apologize?"

"Well, she was yelling right back-" he tried to defend, but to no avail.

"Because you did it first!" Dustin shouted, clearly having had enough of his nonsense. "Honestly, you two should just kiss and make up already…"

Eddie turned to stare at him, as did the rest of their group, eyes wide with unfiltered shock, a seething heat - one that always seemed to appear whenever Veronica was involved - coursing through him, rattling him, his body all but seizing at the thought of… "Henderson, I swear to God, if I ever hear you say something that moronically idiotic again, I’m suspending you for a month."

"Alright, sorry, my bad." Dustin mumbled, setting the last of their figures onto the table, sliding into his seat beside Will. "I was just saying…"

Looking over their table, Eddie let out a sigh, conceding that things were as good as they were going to get, at least for now. With his voice booming, he announced with a clap of his hands, "Alright, gentlemen - are we getting this campaign started or not?"

"...And then he yelled at me!" Veronica exclaimed, earning a gentle swat from Nancy, who was seated behind her and undoing the tight braids in her hair. "Can you believe that? And over a bunch of little dolls-"

"Figures." Nancy conceded, placing a bright pink elastic onto Eleven’s outstretched hand. "Mike says they're figures, not dolls."

"Whatever!" Veronica groaned, dragging her hands down her face. “He was acting like I’d burned the room down-”

"Hey!” Robin poked her head into Nancy’s bedroom, a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of soda balanced in her hands. “Are we talking about Eddie?"

"Who else?” Max chimed in with a laugh. “I swear, he’s cool but he’s totally weird.”

Eleven smiled as Nancy passed her the brush, the pair switching places atop her bed - Eleven always liked brushing out Veronica’s lengthy hair, silky between her fingers. "Why don't you like him?"

“He hasn’t really given me a reason to, has he?”

“Eddie is nice, though.” Eleven continued, head falling to the side. “It confuses me, why he’s so mean to you.”

At her words, Veronica went quiet, her gaze falling onto her lap, fingers pulling at the hem of the shirt Nancy had let her borrow. Just from what his friends had so often claimed of him, she knew that Eddie Munson was kind, loyal, protective of those in his life nearly to a fault. She knew that he could be sweet, could be gentle - she’d seen that side of him firsthand, yet it always disappeared the moment she got too close. She’d never admit to it aloud, but his treatment of her… stung, even if only a little. She gave a smile, the melancholy still clear behind her eyes, and she shrugged her shoulders as if to say "Your guess is as good as mine".

Nancy was the first to break the silence. “Alright, moving on - I have three new colors of nail polish and I just bought a new set of curlers.” she announced, and the warmth of the room seemed to return tenfold. “Who wants to go first?”

Eddie groaned into his pillow, his face pressed into it as he laid atop his stomach, sleep evading him as he tossed and turned beneath his blankets. Flipping onto his back, he stared holes into the ceiling, the events of the last few hours still fresh in his mind, still raw, still aching.

The week’s session had gone through without incident, the group successfully defeating the rabid band of werewolves he’d set in their path and moving onto their next objective. Still, Jeff’s words echoed through his mind, souring in his throat, settling uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach.

"Dude, did you at least apologize?"

Should he apologize? Thinking back, now alone with his thoughts, Eddie admitted that he may have overreacted - had she even known that the room was theirs? That they would be using it that day? All she’d done was follow Mr. Clayborne’s instructions, and he’d exploded at her. It certainly hadn’t been one of his proudest moments, he thought.

But, what bothered him the most was what Dustin had said - that he and Veronica should just kiss and make up already.

Reaching over to his nightstand, he grabbed the mixtape she’d left behind after Dustin had all but dragged her away from him; he traced over her neat handwriting with his finger, felt the raised bumps of the stickers she’d used to decorate it. He flipped it over in his grasp, holding the plastic thing close to his chest. His other hand moved up toward his face, his touch soft as he grazed over his lips.

Kiss and make up-

In a flash, he’d put the cassette back on the nightstand, hands fisted at his side as he willed away the heat boiling in his stomach, his head spinning. He forced himself to sleep, eyes clenched together, his breathing deep and slow as her distant singing fluttered through his raging thoughts.

He didn’t return it, and he didn’t apologize.

#ride the lightning #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x original character #my first stranger things fic!!#this is going to be an enemies to lovers slow burn so get ready y'all #and steve's not relevant in this chapter but he'll show up later i swear #feedback is greatly appreciated!!!#AAAAAAAAAAA i'm so excited for this #eddie munson fic #enemies to lovers #slow burn #this can be eddie x y/n if you want my smooth brain just needs a name in there to write #also want to add that Grant Goodman's character is Thomas in this fic since he was never formally given a name #becca.fic

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captainfightingflower · 1 year

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So i rolled my ankle REALLY badly while out for my run at around 6:20 (bad to the point where renting crutches is being considered), so i just decided to say f making polished sketches, and just decided to have fun drawing whatever Jackbox Games Characters i wanted without care for stuff like anatomy or superb accuracy for once.

Also, fun fact: i forgot to put in my signature traditionally (since i only ever tend to do that after coloring) so the grand majority of these sketches has my signature digitally imposed with Photopea.

Also also, just figured out how people put images side by side in these posts...man i learn something new everyday on this site!

So here’s some descriptions of what each sketch entails in case it’s not clear:

Sketch 1 & 2: A little two-panel gag comic based on the fact that Rue’s facial features can just float whenever she pleases (featuring Bubz...mostly so i could make an excuse to draw the desk).

Sketch 3: Several of the animal hosts put into a single bunch with the text “la créturas” since i really like that set of words specifically! This features Mayonnaise being there, Professor Nanners T-posing like those shitposts where there’s always some 3D fellow t-posing over the horizons, Knack the frog pogging at the Geneva convention & the Tournament Dragon liking his own nostrils.

Sketch 4: The Wheel of Enormous Proportions dumping the water from M. Bubbles’ jug onto it’s face while their headless body stands by.

Sketch 5: Rue unknowingly talking to the Phoney Wheel of Enormous Proportions for 5 hours based on that one meme of a guy talking to a brick wall.

Sketch 6: Octoputtz saying “It’s as shrimple as that!” because A. it’s a meme, and B. he would 100% say something like that.

Sketch 7: Captain Chuck offering you some funny, partially inspired by Morshu, while gripping the supposed haha man a bit too hard.

Sketch 8: The thumbprints from Clone Booth take out the Dodecahedron from DODE, inspired by that one stock image of a guy stealing a wheel from a person’s wheelchair while they are still on it, as well as partially inspired by another sketch i made referencing the Yankee with no brim meme.

Sketch 9 & 10: A slightly modified redraw a draw the squad comic “Sometimes i wonder how i taste” featuring Gavin & Meegan

Sketch 11: A hi-res sketch of Meegan originally created for the previous prompt.

Sketch 12: Mick/Jackhead in their Jackbox Party Club attire, inspired by Sonic Archie Comic panel edit “Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic” that was originally going to have text accompanying it.

Sketch 13: Human from Zeeple Dome waving their flags aggressively, inspired by that one clip of a lady doing the same thing (i cannot explain this better i am sorry).

Sketch 14: Cookie Masterson eating his Dunkin’ order when you tell him to fuck off in Movies.

Sketch 15: An alien from Push the Button.

Sketch 16: An attempted realistic bust of the design for the green human on the Zeeple Dome menu select’s box art.

Sketch 17: The green & red humans from the Zeeple Dome box art, with the red one nearly avoiding an alien tentacle.

Honestly, very freeing thing for me to do, i’m surprised i don’t sketch my heart out like this more often! (but i could do without the pain in my leg, honesty)

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stopscammingartists · 1 year

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For the person asking about the SFW and NSFW art channels things. Yes, you can do SFW and NSFW art, but you wanna separate those to two accounts and never promote your NSFW content to your SFW one. Otherwise, you need to be aware that people will eventually find out you do NSFW stuff and you wanna stop any minors from interacting with your NSFW audience. Because things can get pretty bad if one of them is a messed up individual.

We were having a private discussion about this last night.

If you have an 'all-ages' franchise, series, or story but one scene is too much for minors - then you do not actually have an 'all-ages' franchise/series/story on your hands. You have an adult series on your hands. Adults can enjoy content that kids can also enjoy, but kids will be traumatized by content that only adults can enjoy.

Because 'all-ages' means 'anyone of any age can enjoy this content in this series that is officially published'. If you, as the series creator write a chapter of that series where character A and character B have graphically detailed sex that wouldn't be misplaced on pornhub and publish it as character development.......then it's no longer true that anyone of any age can enjoy the content of that series.

This is what's frustrating me with Glip, they do not seem to understand that it's one thing to as a fan of an all-ages series to create porn...because it's not official. The people who follow the series through official channels won't see it. It is another to create a series or major story like PMD-E and Flora, bill it as all ages, and include porn in it. If you were a fan of Flora or PMD-E, you had the porn advertised to you through the official channels you'd go to get the other story content. The porn part of resignation was advertised on glips deviantart without any mention of it being porn. Mismatched was advertised on glips main sfw tumblr under the purplekecleon name with an 'adult' label. Which, 'adult' is vague. Family Guy, is adult. Simpsons, is adult. Neither feature hardcore rape porn. 'I didn't know my audience' is a very lame excuse when you are advertising both series otherwise for all ages. Flora is of course obviously its own thing, but PMD-E also falls into this despite being fan-content of pokemon because it was also billed as a community / group where anyone can participate. If you had an active team in pmd-e, you were definitely reading the stories Glip put out about it on deviantart (and eventually tumblr).

Besides like, the fucking bible which I don't think counts, I can't think of a single other story that is billed as 'all ages' and also has character development shown through porn. Rebecca Sugar could have theoretically privately been drawing porn of Steven Universe characters. This would have been fine because it's not like there would have been select Steven Universe episodes airing on Adult Swim showing Greg and Rose conceiving Steven in graphic detail. With commercials advertising this 'Greg and Rose have sex' episode on Cartoon Network.....which is essentially how Glip advertised both Resignation and Mismatch.

Sometimes weirdos in the various industries will try to go that far (looking at you Ken Penders), but they are often extremely censored or outright stopped by others on their team because it's dangerous to include this sort of content in an 'all-ages' series.

There's a reason for this, it's that if you're going to be creating this type of hardcore adult content - it is your responsibility, your job to do so safely. In the theoretical example of Rebecca Sugar drawing this content, that means keeping that content completely private.

Glitched 'I really like the idea of kids just on the cusp of sexual whatever learning about it before they're ''supposed'' to.' Puppet did not create or distribute this content in a safe manner. I don't even think Glip had to go that far - I think the lines that were crossed where specifically:

The promotion of the porn content through same channels that people would get the non-pornographic content (Glips deviantart, the purplekecleon tumblr as examples).

Developing characters through the pornographic content, and worse: advertising the pornographic content as character development.

Creating pornographic content that depicts rape and insisting it is not rape.

If parts of the story are too extreme for kids to see at all, then your story is not 'all-ages', it does not matter if you think the character development is minor. It's still part of the story, and by the creators own decision no less. Floraverse is an 18+ adult franchise. Which is why it's egregious that Glip allows minors within the Floraverse community.

#floraverse #glitchedpuppet

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akhillees · 2 years

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I need to like...vent for a moment because the racism (yes, by implying reverse racism exists, you're a fucking racist) and colourism (because even if he's a fucking devil, he exists in a form very similar to humans and has human skin tone) I had to see in the span of an hour is pushing me closer to actually losing it.

It hasn't been a full week since I started paying closer attention to Mammon's character and the content created for him and I think I'm done. I want to remain in this dopamine inducing space my mind has created for much longer and continue to indulge in creating content for this character myself because I like being in a good mood, even if it's because of a fictional character but it's honestly annoying to see how regularly Mammon gets whitewashed and also relegated to the punching bag role among his brothers, especially when he's the only darker skinned character among them.

Idk what else is there even to be said about the whitewashing by the developers themselves and the fans because this shit has been going for so long in fandoms in general, I feel jaded. I still see the same excuses again and again: "it's the lighting", "the artist is young", "the artist is still learning". You're gonna need a really, really strong light source to make a dark skinned person look that light. Even under the harsh lights of big halls, we look dark — even under the sunlight. As an artist, if you're getting criticism for whitewashing a character, the only next step is to acknowledge it and do better, not come up with excuses — apologise and learn. If you can use references to draw that chiselled 6-pack, you can use references to draw dark skinned people. It's not that hard to pull up a colour palette and use it. Artists are constantly learning and relearning theories and techniques throughout their career, this non-linear path is our journey.

It's this thing people do these days: hiding behind their inadequacies to escape scrutiny, to act small and inexperienced like a coward. The rest of us can admit to our mistakes and learn, why can't you? Don't point at the game's whitewashing to defend yours. If this is how you behave as an artist, go draw an actually light skinned character and leave these dark skinned characters alone. And to those defending these artists, shut the fuck up. The internet is already littered with unnecessary garbage, we don't need to see yours too. I'm not going to be nice about this. It took me years to unabashedly portray my own features in my own artworks because the field is saturated with preference towards light skin. I'm not going to sit here and see weakass losers trying to get way with their shoddy work.

The problem doesn't end there, does it? Why does a bunch of devils who should not be holding moral standards that humans do — they're devils, hello? — suddenly decided that Mammon is a "moron" and "scum" (I'm literally quoting the words frequently used in the game by the brothers to insult him) because he is the avatar of greed and thus acts with extreme levels of greediness? Why is it when the others act by the sin they represent, it is treated like a dorky normal daily occurrence but not when Mammon does so? Why the double standards? He takes the blame for almost every mishap. He is also the designated kind brother slash caretaker and I'm supposed to believe there's no stereotypes at play?

The game never fails to constantly remind us that he's stupid when his brothers are dumb at times too? When did one's intellect become their moral failings? And he isn't even that stupid, his strengths and interests are simply not rooted in academics. Lucifer barely has the emotional aptitude to not treat his own brothers like work, Levi doesn't even care to get his ass out of his little bubble and instead resorts to insulting people who are not obsessively into anime and games, Satan is neck-deep in "facts and logic is the ultimate solution to everything", Asmo is too vain and self-centered, Beel is so overwhelmed by his monstrous hunger that he cannot think straight at times and Belphegor decides to not sort out his traumatic past and takes it out an innocent human for a reason that wasn't the humanity's fault. They all seem stupid in one way or another so how is it different for Mammon?

I'm talking in defence of his character and the sort of state he is written into because when the only dark skinned character (among the brothers) is treated in this way, it's racism, or at the very least, colourism. I downloaded the game to relax and have fun, not to be reminded of the kind of treatments people like me are subjected to in life.

#obey me #obey me criticism #obey me mammon #i hate how i have to convince myself it's not that bad but why do i have to tolerate it #tsunderes are annoying but he's cute and in a way...endearing #even before i was fascinated by him. i found the treatment annoying #I'm gonna stick a little longer until i get mammon's demon outfit and his bedroom bg then I'm taking a break from this place

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thepictureofsdr · 2 years

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so ive been seeing a LOT of controversy lately over the new art and i wanted to throw my two cents in as someone who has experience drawing the lady of the hour

am i a leading artist of this fandom? no. am i an expert on drawing people, skin, or colour theory? no. am i perfect at portraying poc? no. (so far no one has had an issue with me but i hope that if i ever do something wrong someone would call me out) the examples i have aren’t even my most recent design of cordelia. but even someone like me can grasp the basics of skin colour.

im someone who exists only to wake up and use dramatic lighting, which is why i feel i can say something here. ive seen people defending the whitewashing saying its the lighting. but that’s not how that works. yes, some poc skin may look white under certain lighting, but that is ONLY in the area directly hit by the light, its no explanation for the rest of skin. lets look at isabela madrigal as an example. she’s very pale where the light DIRECTLY hits, but the rest of her skin is a brown tone, and her shadows are especially dark since she has darker skin to begin with, the consistent base tone for her design is a brown. now if we look at the cordelia art, she’s light where the pink sunrise hits, but the REST of her skin is LIGHT. this is because the base tone used was very light, her darkest shadow is almost a neutral tone on isabela. now look at the tone difference between matthew and cordelia. this is NOT the difference you’re supposed to see between a BRITISH WHITE PERSON and a person of colour. some people have brought up that cordelia is mixed but that has no place in this discussion as she’s been described as having inherited her mothers dark skin multiple times.

there have been some brilliant posts already, one by @youngreckless with a wonderful addition by @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas in the notes, but i just wanted to pop in as someone who has spent a year drawing these characters, theres absolutely no excuse for this. sometimes filters and lighting can change a piece, but we’re not talking a shade’s difference here this is literally changing the base tone of her skin. and even if it’s lighting or filters, its your job as an artist to fix those things before posting, especially when being posted by the AUTHOR. its also the authors job to commission art that sticks to the canon. the inconsistency in cordelia’s skin tone and features in recent art has been ridiculous. we’re not talking fan artists who are still getting the hang of drawing these characters we’re talking professionals who’ve been paid to do this. most of the little alastair art we’ve gotten seems to be decently consistent, in that he has his fathers jaw and nose and his mothers hair and skin. but cordelia is all over the place, one second she has a strong jaw and nose with dark skin and the next she’s all soft and light, the difference between two pieces of one character is ridiculous, it’s genuinely embarrassing.

how can you look me in the eye and say these are the same person. you can’t. my friend thought the first one was TESSA until they realized the boy was blond and not will. this goes way farther than style or individual interpretation, these are three different women.

excuse the old art but ive drawn alastair far more than cordelia and once again, its very easy to draw lighting while respecting the actual skin colour of the characters you’re portraying. the characters deserve better than this, but more importantly, the people who read these stories and see themselves deserve better and consistent representation.

this isn’t a full discussion, there are many things about cordelia’s whitewashing that i didn’t speak about this isn’t intended to be a full discussion of the topic, just a point from someone who is so fucking sick of the lighting argument, please go look at this post and all the notes for some wonderful points.

#i put this together quickly if ive said something or phrased something incorrectly PLEASE tell #me #chain of iron #chain of thorns #the last hours #chain of gold #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #the infernal devices #tid #alastair carstairs #cordelia carstairs

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kimnjss · 3 years

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just hanging out | jjk

⤑ series: cherry pickers

⤑ pairing: gamer(fuckboi)!jungkook x video vixen(virgin)!reader

⤑ genre: fluff!... some angst at the end if you squint.

⤑ rating: pg13

⤑ word count: 3.9K // unedited.

⤑ warnings: lmao second hand embarrassment probably.

⤑ A/N: hey :( love you all who have been enjoying this story nd sending your thoughts in - they really make my day. so thank youu! let me know what you think x

FEBRUARY 22ND, 2020 | 16:49

Casual. You're constantly reminding yourself the entire time you're getting ready. This was supposed to be casual. This was not a date. So there was no reason for you to go through the process of getting ready for a date. You didn't shave, just took a regular shower with the regular soaps.

Spent very little time in the mirror when getting dressed, there was no need for frilly shirts or form-fitting pants. Instead, you settled for a pair of ripped jeans and a hoodie that Taehyung had lost a little while back. Minimum makeup, hair up, and out of your face.

Needed to cement it in your mind that this was not a date. Steal away any reason for you to act like it was one. No matter how much you knew you'd enjoy the whole shebang, candlelit dinner, romantic walk admiring the night sky, kiss on the doorstep – you had to ignore that.

Bottle it up and stuff it down because there were many things you didn't know about Jungkook and the bits you did know weren't great. His shitty friends being at the top of the list. So, until you were sure he wasn't like the lot of them... not dates were what you'd settle for. Because at the end of the day, you wanted to see him.

It's a thirty-minute drive from your house to Jungkook's and you spend the entire car ride agonizing on how this 'not date' was going to turn out. And then immediately scolding yourself for freaking out over something that shouldn't matter as much as you were making it out to be.

For all you knew, he probably was just waking up... barely remembering that he had plans with you. Most likely hopping in the shower just minutes before you were said to arrive. Mmh, Jungkook in the shower. Droplets of water rolling over his tone skin, following the dips and ridges until...

It's hard to shake the image of Jungkook showering out of your head once you've got it there. Even with his insistent need to wear baggy clothes, it didn't take a detective to see that the kid was ripped. No doubt spent hours in the gym working on his arms, his abs, his thighs...

Nope. Not going there. No reason to go there when you were on your way to hang out, innocently hang out with a guy that you were just barely friends with. That's all it was. Two people getting to know each other after clicking the first time they talked. God, the way you clicked with Jungkook was unbelievable.

He made you laugh. And it was weird because you don't remember ever feeling this comfortable around someone this quickly. Jungkook was different. At least you hoped he was. Instantly, you're shushing your thoughts. Refusing to mentally put so much pressure on something that more than likely become nothing.

Getting your hopes up too early was the reason why people got hurt in the first place. So this wasn't a date. And you weren't going to expect him to treat it as such. Just hanging out to get to know each other. That was it.

That was it. Your new mantra as you shove your car into park, heading up the walkway to his front door. Knocking while repeating those four words to yourself. Casual. That was it.

You're not even waiting a full minute before the front door is being pulled open, revealing a fresh-looking Jungkook. Dark hair falling in pretty waves, on either side of his pretty face. He seems to be glowing and you feel it throughout your entire body when he smiles.

A baggy pink sweatshirt swallows his figure, paired with equally loose gray sweatpants. His house is spotless when he lets you in, obvious that he spent the duration of the morning cleaning. The smell of Lysol still lingered in the air. Even the white socks on his feet seemed oddly clean.

You can't help but smile at the effort, allowing yourself to believe that all the trouble was for you.

Once he's setting your shoes in his extremely organized coat closet, he's leading you through the house. Smiling big as he gives you a mini-tour of the first floor and you swear you're paying attention. You're trying your best at least, but it's hard to concentrate on anything that wasn't how cute he looked.

“And this is the arcade,” He's showing off both rows of teeth with his broad gesture into the room located at the end of the hall. Obviously proud of this part of the tour.

As he should be. When the kid said arcade, that's exactly what he meant. Old school game machines lined the walls, ones that you'd actually find in an arcade. Some games that you've never heard of before. All with the high score name: 'Koo'. A dramatic two-person car racing game tucked in the corner.

There's a curved 90 inch TV mounted on the wall, in front of it on a stand is every game console ever made. He has his laptop set up in the room, with two monitors and two gaming chairs in front of it. In the middle of the room is the most comfortable L shaped couch.

All you can say is, “Whoa.” And he's laughing at your reaction.

“It's my favorite room in the house. Well... aside from,” His eyes shift up, obviously gesturing to upstairs where his bedroom is.

The insinuation has a blush darkening your cheeks, but you choose to ignore it, stepping further into the room with a tiny gasp. “You have Skee-ball!?” He's right behind you as you rush across to the room to where the game is set up. A manicured nail pressing against the start button, grinning wide up at him as the balls roll down.

Bright red numbers flash on the screen, the high score followed by his name: 310...Koo. A smirk instantly settling onto your features as you reach for one of the bright-colored balls. “I'm gonna beat that,” Lifting a finger to point at the numbers on the screen.

Jungkook is letting a loud laugh leave his lips, a pretty smile settling on his features as the sound dies down. “That took me two weeks... good luck,” Drawing your hand back, you release the ball on the swing. Watching as it travels upward toward the slots, dropping right into the gutter.

It takes four throws before you're getting it right, the ball traveling up the slope and directly into the 40 point slot. You're letting out a loud whoop, arms lifting in slight victory.

Eyes wide, you're turning your head to face him. “You saw that!?” You're shocked that he's already looking at you. With this soft lovey look that you were the one to hang the stars in the sky. And it makes you wish that this was a date because if it were you'd be able to let yourself enjoy the feeling that comes with the way that he's looking at you.

But it's not a date. So you don't. Shove the fuzzy feeling away with a shake of your head, reaching for another ball from the rack and thrusting it forward.

FEBRUARY 22ND, 2020 | 18:08

Jungkook is scary good at games. Like scary good. If he wasn't matching your score, he was doubling it. Didn't even graze his high score in Skee-ball and every game after that was his domain. And he was having fun beating you, the smile growing on his face each time you were crossing your arms with a pout – claiming the game had to be rigged.

Foosball to Car Racing to Dance Dance Revolution (he had way more rhythm than you'd expect). You've settled down quite a bit since you first showed up at his house, finding it easy to relax around him. He was cute when he got competitive, not like you were much of a competition in these games... but it was nice to see him like this.

The scrunch of his nose as he focused on the screen. The cute dimples that popped out whenever he won. And how he mindlessly sat close to you, engulfing you in his sweet scent. There was just something about being with Jungkook that made you feel at ease, could someone who made you that comfortable really be as bad as his trash friends?

His shoulder brushes against yours as he settles further into the comfort of his couch, his thumbs moving over the controller quickly. Implementing combo after to defeat your character. In the fourth round of Mortal Kombat and you've only one once.

“Hey! You said you'd let me win,” He's laughing, not even letting your character get up before the large K.O. letters appear on the screen and his person is giving their little victory remark. A dramatic huff leaves your lips, the controller being tossed to the side to cross your arms over your chest.

All he wants to do is lean in and kiss that pout off your lips. Has wanted to kiss you since he beat you in table tennis. You're so pretty and he can't hold back from moving closer to you, guiding your movements just so he can have an excuse to touch you. And he doesn't miss the way you blush. The cute giggles that you let out when he flirts with you. Making him want to flirt with you more just so he can hear the sound.

“I tried,” He speaks through a laugh, taking in the skeptical look on your face. “I did! You're just so bad,” His eyes watch your fingers move around the controller, switching the screen to the character choice.

Gasping when his words sink in, landing dainty punches onto his shoulder. “You're mean! Rematch. I'm not bad,” Jungkook's pressing start on the game as soon as you both have picked your characters, leaning back against the couch as he instantly starts trying out combos on you.

Your whines and protests are cute. It's all he can focus on when he's supposed to be paying attention to the game. And the shout of triumph you let out when you're managing to knock his character down squeezes at his heart, he can't help but turn to look at the smile on your face.

“Look at you losing!” He's sure his health bar is at the end by now, but he can't tear his eyes away from you. In awe, because how could someone actually look like that? So effortlessly... beautiful?

The tip of your tongue poked out the corner of your lips, brows furrowed as you work hard to take him down. So wrapped in the game, you don't even realize that he had stopped playing. It's his luck too, no telling how embarrassed he'd be if he was caught staring. Yet, he can't bring himself to look away.

Not until you're jumping up excited, clapping for yourself and your win. “Did you see that?” Your body is whipping around, forcing a surprised look on his face. Worried that you might've caught the way he had been looking at you. “I just fucking destroyed you! You can't even say that was beginners luck, either.”

You're lifting your hand for a high five, which he's happily giving to you. His smile matching yours as you flop down on the couch beside him, thighs grazing over each other and he feels it in his chest. “Do you want a chance to redeem yourself?”

Not even a minute is spared for him to answer because you're already starting up a new round. He's got his game face on now, shaking himself out of the daze. “Can you believe I just kicked your butt?” There's this taunting look on your face and all he wants to do is lean over and kiss you.

He takes for teasing you instead. Noticing your ridge posture that he had commented on in your picture. “I don't know how,” A large hand reaches over to touch your back, your body automatically leaning into his touch. “Your form is all off, it had to be luck.” Just a bit of pressure is applying to your back and you're slouching forward.

With a laugh, you're rolling your eyes – reaching a hand back to swat his away. “Watch me beat you like this too. I'll even let you pick my character,” You've been using the same girl since you started playing while he's surfed through the entire catalog. He's taking you up on the offer, picking one of the bulkier characters that don't do all the jump moves you seem to love so much.

And you still beat him.

This time distracted by the frustrated rants from you whenever your guy doesn't do what you tell him to. Time runs out and he ends up having less on his health bar and you're taking that as a proper win, lifting your hand for another high five.

Jungkook congratulates you quietly, more so trying to figure out just what was going on inside his chest. He's had girls over before. In much more intimate settings than this... but never has he felt like his heart was about to burst through his chest. This unbearable feeling to be close to you and it's quickly becoming all he can think about.

You're just so pretty. And you look oddly sexy in your sweats. But it's not just that. There's something else that he can't really place that's pulling him to you. Making it hard for him to stop thinking about stupid things like holding your hand or kissing your cheek. Imagining if days like today were the norm and after he'd grow tired of playing games, you'd let him stretch out his head in your lap – playing with his hair.

And it has to be crazy because this was only the first time the two of you were alone. The late-night texts being all he had to back up knowing you, but at the same time, he felt like he knew you. Like he's known you well. He can't describe it either, but he's almost positive that you feel the same.

“Are you hungry? Should we order a pizza?” You've already whipped your phone out, reluctantly putting a bit of space between the two of you as you scroll through your phone. Jungkook is quick to agree, fingers moving over the buttons on the controller to switch the TV.

No idea why he all of a sudden feels so nervous. “Sure,” He's managing to mumble out, but you're not listening. Already putting together a pizza for both of you. “Do you, uhm... do you wanna watch a movie? Something on Netflix?” Your thumb is stilling on the screen at the mention of Netflix.

Yoongi's playful warning ringing loudly in your mind. 'Playing video games was just Netflix and Chill with more steps,'. But there was the chance that he was actually tired of playing games and wanted to watch a movie with you. It didn't have to be that serious, you had been going at it for hours.

“Yeah, go ahead. Pick something.” His body slouches back on the cushions, scanning through the movies halfheartedly before choosing a random one with a really long title. After tapping his fingers against the screen, the neon orange lights in the room are dimming. A comfortable warmth settling around you.

Jungkook watches as you take your time putting the order together. The beginning credits playing on the screen and he's not even paying attention, too busy with his eyes glued to you. “I got meat lovers, you like that, right?” Setting your phone aside, you allow yourself to sink into the comfort of the cushions.

“Mmh, my favorite.” Not a lie. It really was. And the fact that you had chose it without knowing just added to everything about you that made him want to kiss you. A small smile spreads across your lips as you nod, turning your attention to the screen in front of you.

The two of you sit side by side, watching the characters on the screen, but you're not listening. It's hard to hear over the pounding in your chest. The nervous bounce of his leg as if he was waiting for something. And you have no idea what because the pizza is no where near being on its way.

A pretty girl is in an argument with her male lead, something about debt and you're trying your hardest to follow the storyline. Although, you have no idea what this movie is and why he picked it.

It's the thick yawn from beside you that catches your attention, Jungkook's arms lifting over his head in a stretch. You don't think much of it, other than the fact that he's being a little dramatic with his stretch. Until the arm closest to you is dropping down, not at his side like it had been before but around your shoulders – gently tugging your body into his side.

“Did you just do the yawn move on me?” You can't help but laugh. Even through the darkness, you can see the pink tint on his cheeks. “Shh, this is my favorite part.” You're actually positive that he's never seen this movie before, but don't put up a fight. Instead, you let yourself lean into his chest.

He's warm. And smells like flowers. His eyes don't move from the screen as he's reaching down, soft hands reaching for the outside of your knee. Slowly, he's lifting your legs onto his lap, only glancing in your direction briefly to gauge your reaction. Leaning back when there's no sign of you wanting to move.

“Your feet are so small,” Toes curling at the random attention, you're leaning over to reach for his face attempting to pull his focus. “Don't make fun of them! What the heck?” He's laughing loudly at you, allowing you to move his head. Shifting his focus from your feet to his face.

Your fingers are cold against his warm skin, but he can't keep himself from leaning into your touch. “They're cute.” Big eyes scan over your face, smiling softly when they're landing on yours. “You're cute.”

Almost instantly, the atmosphere in the room seems to shift. And you're not sure how he did it, but the way he was looking at you, the soft whisper in his voice... you can't but melt in his strong arms. Basically sat in his lap and it's nice. Jungkook takes his time with inching forward, entering your space which has your hand falling from his face.

He's quick to replace your hand with his one your cheek, tilting your head up toward his. You're sure he's going to kiss you. It's obvious with the slight pucker of his lips, the droop of his eyes, he's tapping a rhythmic beat against your knee ten times faster than the rush of your heart. He was going to kiss you.

Jungkook was going to kiss you and it felt like you couldn't breathe. Nerves on a ten because this wasn't even supposed to be a date. And now you were in this situation and you weren't the least bit unhappy about it. You wanted him to kiss you and it's a new feeling that you don't fully understand. It freaks you out.

Just inches from your lips and your face is twisting up, head jerking back before he can reach you. “What are you doing?” Instantly hating yourself for the embarrassed look on his features that slowly morphs into a puppy dog pout.

“I was going to kiss you...” Jungkook mumbles out sheepishly, dropping his arm from your body to push his hair back. Making an effort to put some space between the two of you, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong.

Because in his mind he had done everything right. Had been making you laugh all night, set some type of mood, told you that you were cute. And you seemed to be enjoying yourself... so what was he missing?

“Why would you do that? This isn't a date, Jungkook.” The mantra that you thought you had worked into your head seemed to be slipping. Not sure when you had forgotten what this was supposed to be, but now it was all rushing back to you.

The reasons you had rejected going on an actual date with him in the first place. And the realization of how stupid you were to think that this was a proper substitute for it. No matter what you decided to call it, it didn't erase the fact that this... tonight, with him... felt like a date.

And it wasn't supposed to.

“Do you kiss all the people you just hang out with?” It's wrong to put the blame on him and only him, but you can't help it. You're a mess in your head for a plethora of reasons, because it had been obvious. How he was looking at you, his arm around you, your legs in his lap... everything that you decided to ignore.

But in the same breath, he told you this wasn't a date... so why bother with all sweet shit. Turning movies on for one reason. Maybe you were reading too deep into all of this? Maybe you were overreacting. Jungkook didn't act like his friends when he was with you, maybe he was really different.

“Oh, come on, Yn... are you being serious?” He doesn't look all too embarrassed anymore, just a little bit sad from the rejection. It's fine, though. He'll live. “Dead serious, Jungkook. You got me here saying this wasn't a date. You need to stick to that,” You felt strongly on that part.

You had told him you didn't want to go on a date with him and even though this 'not date' was literally the same thing, he shouldn't act as if you had said yes to a date. Right? He should keep his word, that way things wouldn't get messy. Like right now.

Jungkook seems to put it together in his head, nodding his head in agreement – yet, the pout doesn't leave his lips. “Alright, alright. Fine. My bad,” He's tugging at the rolls of fabric on his sweats, avoiding eye contact with you. Dark hair covering his eyes, all you can really see is the pink of his lower lip.

And you feel bad, even though you know you shouldn't. It's not like you would've hated kissing him. It was just too nerve-racking to think of doing right now. You didn't quite understand it yourself, so there was no way you could go and explain it to him.

Instead, you're extending a finger. Poking the tip of your nail into his knee. “Don't pout. Come on, you'll miss the best part.” Referring to the movie that you're both watching for the first time, but it has a smile pushing onto his lips. His head lifting and gaze shifting onto the TV screen.

“Sorry,” He mumbles out after a moment, but you're not sure if he's apologizing for the almost-kiss or something else. Either way, you're flashing a genuine smile in his direction, lifting a hand to playfully shove at his shoulder. “Don't worry about it. It's fine,”

It really was.

— known for your body and surrounded by rumors about your sex life… rumors that he doesn’t think to doubt. until he’s meeting you… forced to realize there’s much more to you then the thonged shorts and lacy costumes.

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A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!

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lilhawkeye3 · 4 years

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Tea Time With Hawk ☕️🦅

The Bad Batch was... badly designed

If you like the Bad Batch & aren’t open to reading a critical look into their design, don’t read this.

So I’ve already written about The Clone Wars and the issues with Tup and Rex’s character designs. For me, these aren’t reasons enough for me to dislike their characters as a whole (although I refuse to draw Tup’s tattoo when I do draw him).

With the Bad Batch though... I really don’t like them. I don’t want to draw them. Their designs make me uncomfortable, and for two reasons other than just the designs themselves:

1. The Bad Batch was designed for the newest and latest season of TCW, meaning those involved in the creation and in the direction of the Star Wars Umiverse in general are aware of issues brought up in the last decade about POC representation and racism in Star Wars (I say this because it’s been widely talked about, especially after the sequel movies premiered).

2. These characters were introduced specifically as a backdoor pilot for their own series. If the reception to them hadn’t been as good, the Bad Batch series probably wouldn’t have been greenlighted (this is something done in Hollywood in general, not a specific Disney thing). The problem isn’t that they were created in mind to have a series about them, but that these clones have the most whitewashed appearance and were chosen to be the focus of a new series.

So, on to a closer look at exactly what I find issue with these characters.

Crosshair: why the fuck does the sharpshooter look like a white man (this is nothing against white men, but he is supposed to be the CLONE of a BROWN MAN). EVERYTHING about him is changed so drastically that it doesn’t even look like they used the base model of a clone for him.

For comparison:

Top photo is Crosshair. Bottom three are Fives, Jester, and Echo (after the Citadel, which I’ll get to).

Crosshair’s jaw structure is angular and his cheekbones more vertical and prominent. His hairline is more rigid, his hair is white, and with the painting details you can see it is mean to be straight. His nose is so much narrower it’s as if he had a nose job done. Even his lip shape is smaller, which is ridiculous seeing as the clones already have such thin lips. His eyebrows are thinner and less bold. All these are pbviously changed even when comparing to Echo, who is meant to be thin in malnourished in that picture.

Crosshair’s mutation goes further than being a great sharpshooter. They literally made him into a white man.

And then I wonder why he seems to be the most popular of the Bad Batch members in the fandom... sigh.

Tech: again, it looks as if they used a whole different base structure than the normal clones. So here we have his “desirable mutation” meaning he’s incredibly smart. He is shorter and less built than the other clones, his hair is lightened, his nose narrower, his jaw narrower and less square... the changes aren’t as drastic as with Crosshair, but he’s still changed to fit more Eurocentric features. Tech is also much shorter than all the other clones? Idk personally I found that strange and unnecessary cause it not only adds to “nerds are smaller” stereotypes, but more troubling, it subtly pushes the notion that the larger brown men are not as smart as the smaller whitewashed man.

Wrecker: I can’t even begin to describe how animalistic they make him seem in comparison to the previous two. While Crosshair and Tech’s mutations are more mental and refined and thus they are given Eurocentric features... Wrecker’s mutation focuses on brute strength and yet he retains the more typical clone features of the show. Yeah idk just look at the picture and the way he acts in the show. He’s better than the first two but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hunter: okay enhancing his senses is... fine. Honestly he’s the least problematic in my opinion. But like... they were not subtle in trying to make him like Rambo. His hair, his facial features, even the bandana. He’s not as whitewashed as Crosshair or Tech, but he is obviously modeled after Sylvester Stalone, who y’know is a white guy.

And then they have Echo elevated to the Bad Batch. @thatfunkyopossum made an art that pointed it out best, but there isn’t really an excuse for how much paler they made his skin. Yes brown skinned people can and do get darker or lighter based on seasons but like... we don’t just lose all our melanin and become completely white if we never get sunlight. I hope they give him some color back for this sequel 😅 [Edit 4/2021: LMAO HE GOT WORSE SOMEHOW]

So yeah. The Bad Batch makes me extremely uncomfortable as a whole, and you won’t see me creating stuff for them (I drew Hunter once for a friend but that’s the extent I’ll get involved with them). It’s fine if you do like them, like I’m not going to hate you or anything, but I did want to write this up because enough people were interested.

I am of course welcome to any discussion about it (both in agreement or disagreement) :) but if you start attacking anyone in reblogs I will not hesitate to block you. *Please check the notes if you want to see the discussion!*

#the bad batch #the clone wars #star wars #tw racism #lowkey racism #whitewashing #yeah idk they make me uncomfortable #tea time with hawk #thank you for coming to my ted talk

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let-them-read-fics · 3 years

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Empress of the Heart (Pt. 1)

Requested By Anon: "Reader is an actress, and she meets Jennie at an event. They have a one night stand afterward, and months later they meet again." (It was a long request so I had to sum it up lol)

Pairing: Jennie x Fem!Actress!Reader

Word Count: ~ 9,351 😳 (Both parts combined)

Warnings / Misc. -- Smut / Suggestive Themes, Angst, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hello again! Guys, I'm actually really proud of this one. It gets better as it goes on. I hope you enjoy it (you'd better, because I stayed up until 8am writing again 🥴😂). I had to split this story into two parts to appease the Tumblr overlords, just so we’re clear.

♡ Happy reading ♡

Part 2

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Who's that?" Rosé asks, leaning in closer to the maknae as she points to a slightly recognizable face in the crowd.

"I dunno," Lisa shrugs, throwing a thumb over her shoulder, "ask Jisoo." The Australian does as she says, padding over to seek out an answer from their unnie.

"Y/N L/N, I believe. Her company is supposed to make a big announcement later." Jisoo informs, adding a nod to the end of her statement for certainty. Jennie stands beside them all, taking in the crowd of staff and business people hailing from all of the most powerful entertainment companies in Korea. The big dogs have all gathered here tonight to drop some major announcements for their upcoming projects and set up arrangements for future endeavors.

"What do you think it'll be?" Jennie asks, eyes still trained on you as you converse with a famous actress. Her breath catches in her throat when you throw your head back, eyes filling with tears of laughter at something the high class woman said. You're absolutely stunning.

"It could be anything, honestly. Her company's full of talent in every category."

"Yeah, their newest girl group broke a record for Youtube streams in the first hour after release. Still didn't beat ours, though," Lisa adds with a smug look, holding her head a little higher. She's only playing, of course -- she's one of the most humble people Jennie knows.

"She's really pretty," Jennie breathes out, speaking the words that have been rolling around in her mind since she laid eyes on you. The other girls adamantly agree, nodding their heads with purpose.

"Do you wanna go talk to her? YG would probably like that; maybe we can let Jisoo do a little schmoozing." Rosé smirks, playfully nudging the unnie. Jisoo rolls her eyes with an amused scoff, quickly swatting the blonde's hand away.

"I don't know, she seems pretty busy." Her words are unsure, weary -- her normal confidence is wavering a bit, now replaced with some type of nervousness that she can't quite explain. This isn't like her; why is she so anxious?

"Come on, it'll be fun." Lisa decides for them, leading the way with Jennie's hand clutched in her own; the brunette would surely slip away otherwise.

They approach you from an angle, caught right in your blind spot as you continue your small talk with a new business exec. The man sees the girls behind you, waiting for their turn, and after a few more moments he leaves you with an office number to reach him by.

"Good evening… Y/N, right?" Jisoo leads politely, smiling as you turn to face them. You look even more dazzling up close, and Jennie's posture stiffens. She's definitely seen you somewhere before.

"That's me," you say sweetly, greeting all of them and committing their names to memory.

"Jennie," she introduces, stretching a hand out to you. Your eyes flutter down to it before you grasp it within your own, the simple action appearing unbelievably cute to her.

"How're you doing tonight? I hear you've got some big news for us." Lisa wiggles her eyebrows, voice bouncy with anticipation.

You giggle, and Jennie thinks it may just be the sweetest thing she's ever heard. "It's a little hectic, if I'm honest, but I'm enjoying myself. What about you guys? And you'll just have to wait and see what we have in store for you." You end the sentence with a wink that just happened to be directed at Jennie, despite Lisa being the one to ask the question. She tries to fight the blush that soon rises to her cheeks.

"We're doing well, I'd say. It's actually kind of nice to get out of the dorm and meet some new people." Rosé says almost wistfully, her eyes sending a fleeting glance around the room at her statement.

"I know how that can feel. When I was first starting out I didn't get many opportunities for roles. But then I met my manager at the café I picked up a second job at, and the rest is history." You smile softly at the memory, recalling the events of that fateful day. You can't imagine where you'd be right now if things had played out differently.

"You're an actress?" Jisoo asks, sounding like she just put two-and-two together. You nod at her, noticing the way that Jennie looks at you in deep thought. You can practically see the wheels turning.

"So that's where I recognize you from. You guest starred in that JTBC miniseries earlier this year, didn't you?"

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner." You smile, bowing your head in praise. It warms your heart to see her face light up, knowing that she finally felt that rush of putting her finger on the elusive thoughts in her head. Pulling knowledge you previously believed forgotten from the foggy depths of your brain is a rewarding experience in itself, and you're pleased that she remembered you.

"I'm glad I made an impression during my short time on screen," you quirk, leaning in closer to her.

"With skills like yours? You're unmatched, Y/N." She flirts, finally finding her bearings again. Her confidence is returning now, slowly but surely, and she pats herself on the back for not hiding behind her hands when you send her a tempting smile.

"Ah, you're too kind--" you begin, only to be cut off by a tap on your shoulder. It's one of your co-stars.

"Good evening, ladies," he bows, "I'm sorry to break this up, but Y/N is needed by management."

Your shoulders sag at this, his words sinking in. You'd much rather spend the night tucked away with the girls, getting to know them better -- especially Jennie, who makes your heart speed up anytime she looks at you.

"I hate to go," they nod in agreement, sad to have to part ways. They really enjoyed speaking with you, and they'd be lying if they said they wanted to stop anytime soon.

"But maybe I'll catch you later?" The question sounds hopeful, albeit a bit unsure as you scrunch your face up. They affirm that they'd "like that very much," and your shoulders relax a bit. Maybe there's still some hope for you all.

◇◇◇◇◇ 2 Hours Later ◇◇◇◇◇

"Exactly! She shouldn't have forgiven him after that," you rant to Jisoo, talking about some characters from your favorite kdrama.

"Babo, I tell you." She says dramatically, rolling her eyes. The action garners a chuckle from you, and Jennie finds herself smiling as she follows along with the conversation. She must've made her staring too obvious, because a minute later your eyes meet hers from across the table. She blinks, surprise etched gracefully into her features, and she clears her throat. Both of you have been stealing glances at one another all night, and things have only ramped up since you snuck away from management to see them again. You assured them you wouldn't get in trouble, but that was honestly the last thing on your mind.

From her seat across from you, Jennie can see the curve of your body, your silhouette highlighted by the lights that shine on the wall behind you. They're dimmed somewhat to give a comfortable, soft glow to the room, and they contrast with the perfect curve of your face. She lets her eyes trail lower, admiring the expanse of your chest and how your fingers rest against the table, mindlessly playing with the expensive tablecloth.

What you do next makes her choke on the water she had so bravely dared to take a drink of.

You lean forward slightly, just enough for her to see your cleavage, while still appearing inconspicuous and innocent. The smirk you try to suppress tells her you know exactly what you're doing, and her cheeks grow hot.

"Excuse me," she mutters to the table, quickly standing and all but running outside for some fresh air. She wants -- needs -- to put some distance between the two of you if she plans to have any self control.

Cool air immediately greets her as she steps outside, hearing the sleek automatic door slide shut behind her. She can breathe now, and begin to soothe her racing mind. Despite only knowing you for the better part of 4 hours, she's already attracted to you. Way more than she cares to admit, as she presses her thighs together to put out the fire you started within her.

No more than 5 minutes later, the doors slide open once more.

"Everything alright?" You ask, tone dripping with amusement as you take in her flustered state. It's obvious that she's okay, just simply turned on.

"Never better," she mumbles, glancing up at you with a lopsided smile.

"You know, you ran out pretty fast back there. You sure know how to worry a girl." You fake a pout at her.

"Oh, you don't say?" She plays along, approaching you with what few shreds of confidence she has left. She tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, whispering into it, "Well, I'm all good."

"Wanna see for yourself?" She continues, drawing back slightly to take your hands within her own and wrap them around her waist. She smiles as they roam over her body, making sure to be thorough as you "check her out."

She groans when your hand grazes over a sweet spot on her thigh, causing you to pause and tut at her, "Tsk tsk, Jennie. It looks like I'll have to inspect this a little further." She gulps at your words, mind clouded once again by filthy thoughts of you.

"Let's get out of here," she suggests, taking your hand to lead you away. You chuckle at her eagerness, only capable of nodding as she basically drags you to her car.

◇◇◇◇◇

Despite feeling like two horny teenagers, you and Jennie actually opted to slow things down and get to know each other more. She's one of the most interesting people you've ever met, and you could listen to her talk for hours on end. The feeling is beyond mutual, and she doesn't mind that she has to wait a little longer to have you. The promise of what the night will hold for the two of you thrills her, and the anticipation only heightens her feelings.

Takeout containers lay abandoned in her car, long forgotten about as you sit next to each other on the hood. The chilly surface of the windshield presses against your back, making you all the more thankful for having had the foresight to wear a coat tonight. You make a mental note to thank your stylist for the suggestion.

Stars are beginning to twinkle in the distance, slowly coming out of their peaceful slumber to greet the evening sky. They bring to mind all the nights you spent in your backyard as a child, laid out on a warm blanket as you gazed up into space. Back when only trivial issues existed in your world, leaving you with an unscarred heart and unadulterated outlook on life. Those times were simple, only complicated by whatever drama was going on at school or what new person your friends liked. Back then you had no idea of what the future held for you -- what you'd end up doing with your life. If you had a chance to talk to your younger self, you'd tell her to enjoy those days as much as possible; to not take them for granted for even a second.

Everyday you're reminded that fame is truly a blessing and a curse -- you miss the days that you could roam the streets freely with whomever you wanted to, not having to worry about paparazzi or the media, but you're thankful for where you are now. You get to do what you love, everyday, and make money from it -- it's what everyone wishes for in life; and although you've worked your ass off to get here, you owe a lot of credit to the fans.

"It's so beautiful up here," Jennie says, voice stuck between a whisper and sigh as she lays her head on your shoulder.

"You see that building over there, with the orange lights and trees around it?" You ask, pointing in the direction of the building. Her eyes follow the invisible path your finger makes, and she spots it, nodding for you to continue.

"My mom used to work there; it's a daycare. I always loved helping out. The kids were so adorable." A bittersweet smile plays on your lips as you look down at your lap, clearly reminiscing. Jennie notices, brushing a strand of hair out of your face as she says, "I bet you miss it."

"I do," you sigh, clenching your jaw briefly, "those were the days. Seoul's home, but sometimes it feels so distant."

"I know how that feels." You don't miss the way her eyes cast down, a hint of sadness behind them, her fingers toying with yours on her thigh. Life in the spotlight isn't all it's cracked up to be, and neither of you are strangers to that all too familiar pang of longing.

"I'm happy to be here with you tonight, though," you try to turn the conversation cheery again, and Jennie's thankful for that. "I haven't had this much fun in a long time."

Your plan works, and soon she's pepping up. "Me neither. Being with you feels...different. In a good way." Your smile widens exponentially when she adds, "A very good way."

"Don't get too cheesy on me, now," you roll your eyes teasingly, wrapping both of your arms around her and pulling her flush up against your body. She lays her head on your chest, reveling in the scent of your perfume and the warmth radiating from you. Her hand comes to rest against your ribs, lightly rubbing patterns against them as the two of you continue star gazing. She can feel your heartbeat pick up when she slides her hand downwards, playing with the hem of your shirt innocently.

Does she have any idea what she's doing to you?

Yes, yes she does. After all, your body is basically selling you out at this point.

"Y/N?"

"Mmm?" You hum, eyes closed and head leaned back against the windshield. Her skin is soft against yours, and your shared warmth has put you at ease.

"Do you wanna go somewhere? I really don't want the night to be over yet." Your heart flutters at her words; the fact that a woman such as Jennie is so reluctant to leave you is baffling in itself.

"I'd love that, Jennie. What did you have in mind?"

For a moment, Jennie's mind takes it there. She allows herself to imagine what it would be like to feel your skin against hers, connection unrestricted by clothing; how your kisses would feel against her lips, her body; what beautiful sounds you would make as she pushed you closer and closer to the edge. She can't deny how attracted she is to you, nor does she want to; but she also doesn't want to ruin the innocent moments you're sharing. She doesn't want to taint them with the lustful ideas that flood her mind anytime you give her that look, or caress her thigh absentmindedly.

"How does the park sound?"

"With you? There's nowhere I'd rather be."

Despite her efforts, Jennie blushes at your statement, feeling that embarrassing warmth creep up the back of her neck. You've made her blush more in the span of one night than she previously had in her entire life, and that boosts your confidence tenfold.

"Who's being cheesy now, huh?" She asks, pinching your side playfully as she sits up. Her legs swing around until she's fully facing you, sitting criss-cross as the two of you smile at one another.

Neither of you move for a while, both content with just admiring each other's beauty. Her fingers lace with yours, and after a moment she brings your hand up to her lips to lay a kiss to it. The action -- more so, how soft her lips are against your skin -- catches you off guard, and your breathing hitches. All at once, you're acutely aware of how badly you want to kiss her.

As if things couldn't get anymore tempting, her tongue darts out of her mouth to soothe her lips, making them glisten in the dying light of the evening.

She sees your eyes dart down to them, and her body leans closer to you ever so slightly, seemingly having a mind of its own. You meet her gaze again, silently asking for permission as you glance back down at her lips. She responds by giving one single nod before leaning in close enough that your noses almost brush against each other.

"You're stunning." The compliment sounds breathy as it slips out of your mouth, but you're beyond caring at this point. Your pride was thrown out the window the second Jennie showed interest in you.

"Don't look at me like that," she says, gently biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from closing the distance. She wants you to be the one to do it.

"Like what?"

"Like you're undressing me with your eyes." Her gaze casts down to your lips again, seemingly glued there as she watches them move when you speak your reply.

"You act like you weren't doing the same thing at the event." Her confidence falters momentarily, but she fights to hold her ground. "My colleagues even noticed it, babe -- you've gotta get better at hiding your attraction." You say with a chuckle, watching as Jennie's eyes grow wider. Had she really made it so obvious?

"We wouldn't be here right now if I was good at hiding it, so I think you owe me one."

"Touché," you say, quirking an eyebrow in thought. She's right, as usual. "How can I ever make it up to you?" Your voice wiggles dramatically, face contorting in a mock apology.

"I know a way," she says lowly, smiling as your hand finds its way to her knee a moment later. You hook your fingers in the crook of it, drawing a surprised gasp from her as she falls forward and into your arms.

Here goes nothing.

You raise your left hand to her cheek, brushing the back of your fingers against it gently as you build up the nerve to kiss her. Your other arm is wrapped securely around her waist in order to hold her steady above you.

Her palms are pressed to the glass behind you, and her hair falls gracefully around you, creating a little curtain to shield you from the outside world. Finally gaining enough courage, you press your lips to hers in a soft kiss. It's slow and mild as you set a sensual rhythm, growing accustomed to the taste of each other. She sighs into your mouth as you reposition her so that she's straddling your lap.

"Y/N, we're never gonna make it to the park if you keep kissing me like that." She warns, though her words hold no real threat at all. She wants this just as much as you do.

You lay a trail of light kisses up her neck, all of them far too gentle for her liking right now. "Is this better, your highness?" You ask smugly, smiling against her throat as a frustrated sigh leaves her lips.

She places a hand on your chest to push you up against the glass, letting her fingers skim over your collarbone. Just as she's about to pounce, the sound of your phone ringing interrupts the moment. It vibrates in your pocket, right between Jennie's thighs, and you stifle a giggle at the reaction it would've drawn from her had you not quickly retrieved it.

"Hello?" You ask, realizing you hadn't even bothered to check the caller ID. Jennie sits back on your legs, allowing her hands to rest on your hips and draw soothing circles.

"Y/N, I hate to tell you this on such short notice, but you have a new interview scheduled for tomorrow morning at 10AM. I'll send you all the details later."

You sigh at your manager's words, running a hand over your face to relax yourself. The announcement party was supposed to signal the end of your busy week, but of course life just couldn't work in your favor for once. Now you'd be stuck in some random line of questioning, unable to give them any real answers for the sake of keeping spoilers from getting out. You can think of about a million things you'd rather be doing tomorrow morning, and one of them is sitting on your lap right now.

"Yeah, okay. I'll talk to you later." You wait for him to say his goodbye before ending the call and turning back to Jennie with an apologetic look.

"Sorry for ruining the moment."

"You didn't ruin anything. But luckily for you…" she leans forward again, pressing a kiss to your lips that makes your heart stop for a second, "I can be very merciful." You nearly melt at her words, paired with how she whispers them in your ear. Her warm breath fans over your neck, rendering you speechless as you pull her back to your lips.

This kiss is different -- full of passion and desire as you grow more used to each other. She raises up on her knees, towering over you as she stares down at you. You look so beautiful right now, your eyes appearing big as you look up into hers, waiting for her next move. She runs her hands through your hair before settling them on your cheeks, cupping the smooth skin and rubbing the pad of her thumb across it. You drag your nails up and down her exposed thighs, and you pat yourself on the back when you notice the trail of goosebumps they leave behind.

"I actually do wanna go to the park with you, if that's alright. There's something I want to show you. I definitely want to continue this later, though." You say.

She nods at that, a smile making its way to her face that can't possibly be wiped away. As much as she wants to have you writhing underneath her, screaming her name, she can wait. She's content with making as many memories as possible with you tonight, and she's intrigued by the surprise you're hinting at.

A few gentle kisses later, you slide off the hood and help her down before going to open her car door for her.

"Such a gentlewoman," she praises, pursing her lips at you.

"Only for you," you wink, making her giggle.

You quickly make your way to the driver's seat, set on getting to the park ASAP in order to spend as much time as you can with Jennie. After all, you can only stay up so late tonight if you want to be functioning for that interview tomorrow… and let's just say that you plan on being busy later.

---------

"Voila!" You declare, motioning to some playground equipment in the kid's section of the sizable park. Of all the things she was guessing at, Jennie did not see this coming.

"What, you came to show me monkey bars, Y/N? I've seen plenty of them--" She asks incredulously, looking around the area filled with miniature tables and chairs to go along with the equipment.

"What? No, no. I used to play here when I was growing up, and my friend's and I had a secret hiding spot. We always stashed our favorite little knick knacks in it, and we promised we'd only show it to people we deemed worthy."

Jennie watches as your eyes light up at the recounting of such a dear memory, and she grins widely. You truly are a five year old at heart.

"This is the first time I've been back here, since…" you trail off, realizing just how many years it's been. Being at such a different point in your life while standing in a place you frequented as a child is a weird juxtaposition that you weren't prepared for, but you push it from your mind.

"Anyway, I think you're pretty worthy." You joke, sizing her up. She laughs at that, and you revel in the pleasant sound. You know you probably won't see her again after tonight, so you're determined to ingrain the little things -- like her smile, her laugh -- into your brain.

"Now, let's see… where did Ashley put it?" You whisper to yourself, scanning the length of the playground. Your eyes travel across the slides, over the swings, and around the monkey bars before you spot that little dip in the siding that you'd recognize anywhere. Jennie soon finds her hand slipping into yours as you lead her over to it, a childlike sense of giddiness on your face. She likes seeing you like this.

"I hope it's still here," you say to no one, bending down to press your fingers against the old wood. It's far more worn down now, and you're worried that someone has already come by and cleaned out the hiding spot. Putting your doubts aside, you continue.

"Okay, so don't laugh, but there's a special way you have to open it. Ashley showed it to me one day and it's the only way we could get it to budge after that."

She smiles her gummy smile at you, and you can't help but return the gesture and even steal a quick kiss. She's a bit taken aback when you ball your hand up, using the side of it to deliver a couple blows to the wood in two different spots. Next, you stand and line up your foot, remember exactly how your friend taught you, before executing a calculated kick to the other side.

At first, Jennie wants to laugh at you; but upon closer inspection, she sees that in fact, a small opening is visible in the wood now. You smirk cockily, knowing full well that she hadn't expected that to work.

"Told you so," you tease, now bending down again to work the panel free. You wiggle it back and forth repeatedly, being careful not to go too quickly and damage anything else, and eventually it pops out. She watches as you reach in and pull out a mini jewelry box -- the kind that can fit in your hand, mainly meant for rings or other small items.

"We stole the box from our other friend, Janelle. Had to pay her our allowances for 2 months afterward. Can you believe that?" You ask, shaking your head with another smirk on your lips. Jennie laughs at you in full, loving how carefree you are right now. In a way, she's happy that your manager called earlier; otherwise the two of you most surely would be locked away in your bedroom right now. This experience is definitely one she'll cherish.

"Unbelievable," she sighs, shaking her head and going along with it.

You click the latch on the small box, it's material now weathered and rusty as it creaks when you open it. Jennie steps closer to you to examine its contents, and you fight to contain how hard your heart starts beating at the feeling of her hand on your lower back.

"No way…" you utter, voice full of disbelief as your eyes land on one of your most prized possessions from childhood.

"What?" Jennie asks, genuinely on the edge of her metaphorical seat.

"This butterfly hair clip," you inform, slipping the small contraption between your fingers as you hold it up for her to see, "I won it at a fair with my mom and I always wondered where it went…"

"It's beautiful, Y/N," she says, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the details etched into it. For something so small and seemingly unassuming, it's actually very unique.

"I want you to have it." You say, taking a step away so you can look at her. She instantly goes to refuse, saying, "I can't! You just found it after all this time--"

"And I went all that time without it. If you take it, I'll know it's safe with you. And you can use it to remember me by." You say, your gaze softening as you watch her debate with herself.

"Okay. But if you ever want it back, call me."

"Roger that." You say dorkily, earning yourself a roll of those dark eyes you find yourself getting lost in.

"And for the record, Y/N, I could never forget you. Pretty hair clip or not." Her confession makes you feel happy on a whole new level; knowing that you've left an impact on her is truly a wonderful thing.

"So, what now?" She asks, breaking the happy lull your conversation found itself in.

"We can walk around the park for a little while, or…" you start, waiting for Jennie to prod you further. Both of you know exactly what game you're playing, but it's still fun nonetheless.

"Or?" She inquires, stepping closer as she wraps her arms around your shoulders. She nonchalantly gives you a once over, knowing what power her darkening gaze holds over you.

"We can go back to my place. Maybe play a little footsie, who knows?" You say, shrugging your shoulders with a stupid grin. Even while seducing someone, you can't resist being a geek.

"Footsie?" Jennie gasps, raising her eyebrows, "What kind of girl do you take me for? That only happens after at least 2 dates in."

"Such a prude, Ms. Kim. How can I change your mind?"

She presses a finger to her cheek, pretending to think, before getting an idea. Her lips flirt with the shell of your ear as she whispers obscenities into it, turning you to mush with every new scenario she puts in your head.

You stiffen as she kisses your jaw, the action catching you off guard as you continue reeling from her words.

"I can do that, I think," you cough out, stumbling over the words a little bit. She laughs at the effect she has on you; seeing your confidence waver is a nice role reversal, and it's something she could definitely get used to.

"Let's go." She commands, now taking your hand to pull you after her, just like you had done before.

◇◇◇◇◇

It's painful, how hard Jennie has to restrain herself from touching you as you fumble with your keys. She told herself she'd keep her hands to herself until you got inside, just in case any stray paparazzi managed to catch you two together. The last thing either of you need is some new scandal, especially with your careers in a vulnerable spot as they're really beginning to take off.

"If you don't get that door open within the next 10 seconds, then I'll just take you out here in the hallway."

You audibly gulp at the image she just conjured up in your mind, and you speed up your movements. The prompting worked, evidently, because soon she's practically shoving you through the doorway.

"Finally," she breathes against your lips, pressing you up against the door once you've locked it back.

"I've been waiting to do this since we met earlier." She indulges you in that little secret, smiling at the way you whimper when she pulls your leg up to wrap around her hips.

"I'm all yours," you say, making Jennie's heart flutter at the sentiment. For the night, you're hers and she's yours. "...now kiss me," you command, growing more impatient with each feather-light kiss she presses to your jaw.

"So bossy," she toys, making you roll your eyes.

"You have no idea, babe."

She bites her lip as your husky voice makes its way to her ears, thick with the desire she's been steadily building within you all night. You tug her forward, your fingers bunching up the material of her shirt with little care as her lips meet yours.

Her tongue swipes across your bottom lip, asking for a permission that you granted the second she touched you. You pull her chin down slightly, allowing the kiss to deepen as you tangle your other hand in her hair.

After an especially bruising bite to her lip -- one that thrills her to her core -- she pulls away, breathlessly asking, "How're you so good at this?"

You cackle against her, taken aback by how genuine the question sounded. "Practice for the kdramas, of course."

"I haven't had to do this," you slide a hand between your bodies, smirking at the gasp that sounds off deep in her throat as you make contact with her, "yet though. That might be a little extreme for the screen."

"You think?" She scoffs softly, bringing her hands up to gather your hair to one side. She presses gentle kisses to your neck, prepping the surface for the dark marks she'll most certainly be leaving there later.

"Ready?" You ask, making sure she wants to go through with this.

"You have no idea, babe." She copies your statement from earlier, garnering another smile from you. She swears she can never get enough of that sweet look on your face.

"Follow me," you say, giving her another peck to last until you reach the bedroom.

◇◇◇◇◇ The Morning After ◇◇◇◇◇

Warm, glittering rays of sunlight sneak past the curtains of your apartment window, shining gently through the light material. A dream-like haze befalls the room, serving as a wonderful greeting once you peek your eyes open. The only thing capable of rivaling such a wonderful sight is the woman beside you, her soft breaths keeping your shoulder warm.

As you turn your head to look at her, careful not to wake her, your heart flips. Having her here next to you is the only reason you even believe last night happened; it was magical -- the stuff of fantasy. The two of you did everything: acted on every desire, every impulse -- you truly made the most of the night, determined to make it unforgettable.

A few blissful minutes later, she stirs beside you. "Good morning, Y/N." Her eyes remain closed, still safe from the bright light of the morning as she smirks at the memories replaying in her mind.

You lay a small kiss to her lips, simply missing how they feel against your own. "Morning, beautiful."

A content sigh slips past her lips as she presses them against your neck, cuddling further into you. "Last night was fun."

You decide to tease her. "Eh, I've had better."

If there's one thing that Jennie knows, it's that she's good in bed -- great, even -- and you definitely seemed to be enjoying yourself last night, just as much as she was. Still though, a bit of insecurity runs through her as she raises up on her elbow to look at you through her lashes.

"Really?" She stills her fingers on your arm, stopping them from continuing the trail that they had been blazing just seconds ago. Her eyebrows furrow subtly, the action almost unnoticed by you.

Deciding the joke isn't worth it, you cup her cheek and raise her head so she can meet your eyes.

"No, I'm kidding. Last night was… something else." You chuckle, smiling as your eyes move around the room in an attempt to find the right word for it. When none come to mind -- no words capable of conveying how great it was -- you look back to her.

She has a knowing grin on her face, "I couldn't agree more."

Sneaking a glance at the clock propped up on your bedside table, you get an idea. "You know, Jennie…" you start, purring her name out as you had last night, garnering that achingly familiar groan from her, "...we still have a few hours before either of our schedules start." Your suggestion hangs in the air as you roll her over onto her back, hovering over her and brushing your noses together.

"Hmm, you don't say? Well you're in luck; I still have some things I wanna try out." She plays back, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of your lips as her hands wander over your body.

Your eyes widen in shock, "What the hell could you POSSIBLY be thinking of?? We tried just about everything." She laughs at your reaction and pulls you down closer to her body to whisper in your ear. Jennie can feel you tremble with every new image she puts in your head, just like she had in the park, her lips dragging you further under as she sneaks little kisses to your skin here and there.

"Let me get this gay straight: you want me to do that on the balcony? What if my neighbors see?"

"They won't, we're on one of the top floors. And even if they do… would that really be so bad?" She lets the question hang in the air; she'd be lying if she said the idea of getting caught doesn't thrill her. Thinking of your lips on her neck as she rocks against you, pinned to the railing while out in the open for the world to see, sends a rush of warmth through her.

"I wish you weren't so good at convincing me to do things. You're dangerous, Jennie Kim." You warn, pointing a disapproving finger at her. Your eyes nearly pop out when she kisses it, taking the digit in between her lips while looking up at you innocently. This woman will be the death of you.

◇◇ Back At The Blackpink Dorm ◇◇

"Yah, I know! The new update looks so weird--"

"There she is," Lisa says, motioning to the doorway, interrupting Jisoo and Rosé’s conversation about whatever new video game the unnie had downloaded.

Jennie leans on the heavy door as she locks it behind her, lazily spinning around on her heel with her lips drawn back in a huge gummy smile.

"Somebody's happy…" Jisoo teases, shooting her a smirk. She's still riding the high you put her on, and it's no wonder her members are noticing. It's not like she's exactly trying to hide it, either.

"How was your night? Have fun with Y/N?" The maknae wiggles her eyebrows while propping herself up on her elbows to see Jennie's reaction.

"LISA! She wasn't supposed to know!" Rosé shouts, letting out a disappointed huff. The younger girl only shrugs, a stupid smirk on her lips. Some people just wanna watch the world burn.

The brunette's daze is momentarily broken at this, and she asks what they're talking about.

Jisoo lets out a hesitant breath before explaining, "We saw you two leave together, but we agreed to not bring it up until you did." She shoots some daggers at Lisa before continuing, "Somebody can't seem to keep her mouth shut, though."

Jennie only chuckles now, not really caring if they knew or not. Her night was too wonderful to keep to herself; she would've ended up telling them anyway.

"Gather round, girls; I'll fill you in."

◇◇◇◇◇ Months Later ◇◇◇◇◇

"Why exactly do we have to go to this premiere again?" Jennie grumbles, looking out the window of their limousine. She'd much rather be back at the dorm, snuggled into her cozy heap of pillows and blankets with Netflix playing on her tv.

"Some of our colleagues are starring as background characters, so YG wants us to attend and show our support." Jisoo informs, always seeming to have more knowledge than all of the other girls combined. Jennie nods; the reasoning is sound, but she'd still prefer to be home. Mingling with business people for god knows how long doesn't seem all that enticing to her.

"What's the movie?" Lisa asks, throwing the question behind her to the other girls as she searches the cubby for some complimentary snacks.

"Empress of the Heart," Rosé answers, finally knowing something that Jisoo doesn't.

"Let's watch the trailer for it. If we have to sit through it then we might as well see what we're getting ourselves into." Lisa suggests, her fingers busy opening the bag of chips she chose from the assortment.

"Yeah, okay." Jennie says, her statement followed by words of agreement from the other girls. Rosé takes her phone out to search the title, pepping up when she spots it. She whispers something to Jisoo and Lisa, Jennie paying no mind as she watches the buildings pass by. Her favorite thing to fidget with is secure in her grip, occupying her mind. It's familiar design feels good in her hands -- like it's right where it belongs. (Yes, this is what you think it is).

The other girls put their acting skills to use as they hit play, keeping straight faces when your voice comes through the phone speakers. Jennie's head snaps over to them, recognizing the sound in an instant. "Y-Y/N's starring in it?" She asks, voice coming out as a stutter. The thought of seeing you again thrills her, but she doesn't know if she can do that without falling even deeper. Your night together left her with lasting feelings, none of which she was prepared for in the slightest, and she knows they'll be reignited the moment she lays eyes on you.

"Mhm." They nod sympathetically, all knowing how much she's thought about you the last few months.

Their driver knocks on the partition, requesting to open it. They give him the all clear, and soon he's rolling it down to inform them, "We're here, ladies."

"I'll be okay," Jennie tells them, attempting to stop their worries from growing anymore than they already have. She plays the statement back in her head, whispering it to herself as she exits the limo; tonight could only go one of two ways, and it depends entirely on you.

☆☆ Part 2 Linked Up Top ☆☆

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

Note

What are your thoughts on Jekyll/Hyde and his archetype of the human periodically changing into a monster ?

Jekyll & Hyde was the 2nd horror story I read following Frankenstein, I got it off the same library and it always stuck very strongly with me even before I got into horror in general. I even dressed up as Jekyll/Hyde as a kid for a school fair by shredding a lab coat on one side and asking my sister to make-up claw gashes on my exposed arm and paint half of my face, although in hindsight I think I ended up looking more like Doctor Two-Face than Jekyll/Hyde, but I was 12 and didn't have any Victorian clothing to use so I had to make do. The first film project I tried doing at film school was intended to be a modern take on Jekyll & Hyde, and I didn't get much farther than a couple of discarded scripts

Much like Frankenstein, Mr Hyde as a character and a story is something that's kind of baked into everything I do artistically. And it's not just me, as even in pop culture itself, none of us can escape Mr Hyde. I would go so far as to argue Mr Hyde may be the single most significant character created by victorian fiction, if only by the sheer impact and legacy the character's had.

(Fan-art by guilhermefranco)

Part of what makes Mr Hyde such a powerful and lasting icon of pop culture is that the very premise of the book invites a personal reading that's gonna vary from person to person. Because everyone's familiar with the basic twist of the story, that it's a conflict of duality, of the good and evil sides, but everyone has a more personal idea of what those entail. Some people make the story more about class. A lot of readings laser-focus on sex and lust as the driving force, and there's also a lot of readings of Mr Hyde that tackle it to explore a more gendered perspective, and so forth.

I don't particularly take much notice of the Jekyll & Hyde adaptations partially because the novel's premise and themes have become baked so throughly into pop culture and explored in so many different and interesting ways, that I'm not particularly starving for good Jekyll & Hyde adaptations the way I am for Dracula and Frankenstein. The Fredric March film in particular is one that orbits my head less because of the film itself (although I do recommend it), but because of one specific scene, and that's when Jekyll first transforms into Hyde on screen.

Out of all the things they could have shown him doing right that second, they instead took the time to show him enjoying the rain.

Just Hyde taking off his hat and letting it all cascade on his face with this sheer enthusiasm like he's never been to the rain before, never enjoyed it before, and now that he's free from being Jekyll, he gets to enjoy life like he never has before. It's such an oddly humanizing moment to put amidst a horror movie, in the scene where you're ostensibly introducing the monster to the audience, and it makes such a stark contrast to the rest of the film where Hyde is completely irredeemable, but I think it's that contrast that makes the film's take on Hyde work so well even with it's diverging from the source material, even if I don't particularly like in general interpretations of Hyde that are focused on a sexual aspect.

Because one, it understands that Jekyll was fundamentally a self-serving coward and not a paragon of goodness, and two, it also understands one of the things that makes Hyde scary: He wants what all of us want, to live and be happy. He's happy when he leaves the lab and dances around in the rain like a giddy child, he's happy when he goes to places Jekyll couldn't dream of showing up, he's happy as a showgirl-abusing sexual predator. Hyde is all wants, all the time, and there's not that much difference between his wants, his domineering possessiveness, and the likes exhibited by Muriel's father and Jekyll's own within the very same film, which also works to emphasize one of the other ideas of the original story, that Edward Hyde doesn't come from nowhere. That no monster is closer to humanity than Mr Hyde, because he is us. He is the thing that Jekyll refused to take responsability for until it was too late.

(Art by LorenzoMastroianni)

While many of the ideas that defined Mr Hyde had already been explored in pop culture beforehand, Hyde popularized and redefined many of them in particular by modernizing the idea. He was the werewolf, the doppelganger, The Player On The Other Side, except he came from within. He was not transformed by circumstance, he made himself that way, and the elixir merely brought out something already inside his soul. To acknowledge that he's there is to acknowledge that he is you, and to not do that is to either lose to him, or perish. Hyde was there to address both the rot settling in Victorian society as well as grappling concerns over Darwinian heritage, of the realization that man has always had the beast inside of him (it's no accident that Hyde's main method of murder is by clubbing people to death with his cane like a caveman).

I've already argued on my post about Tarzan that the Wild Man archetype, beginning with Enkidu of The Epic of Gilgamesh, is the in-between man and beast, between superhero and monster, and that Mr Hyde is an essential component of the superhero's trajectory, as the creature split in between. That stories about dual personalities, doppelgangers, the duality of the soul, the hero with a day job and an after dark career, you can pinpoint Hyde as a turning point in how all of these solidified gradually in pop culture. And I've argued otherwise that The Punisher, for all that his image and narrative points otherwise, is ultimately just as much of a superhero as the rest of them, even if no one wants to admit it, drawing a parallel between The Punisher and Mr Hyde. And he's far from the only modern character that can invite this kind of parallel.

The idea of a regular person periodically or permanently transforming into, or revealing itself to be, something extraordinary and fantastic and scary, grappling with the divide it causes in their soul, and questions whether it's a new development or merely the truest parts of themselves coming to light at last, and the effects this transformation has for good and bad alike. The idea of a potent, dangerous, unpredictable enemy who ultimately is you, or at least a facet of you and what you can do. That these are bound to destroy each other if not reconciled with or overcome.

You know what are my thoughts on the archetype of "human periodically changing into a monster" are? Look around you and you're gonna see the myriad ways The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde's themes have manifested in the century and a half since the story's release. Why it shouldn't be any surprise whatsoever that Mr Hyde has become such an integral part of pop culture, in it's heroes and monsters alike. Why we can never escape Mr Hyde, just as Jekyll never could.

It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character that almost every country in the world has learned to fear and despise. Our Barbie-doll president, with his Barbie-doll wife and his boxful of Barbie-doll children is also America's answer to the monstrous Mr. Hyde.

He speaks for the Werewolf in us; the bully, the predatory shyster who turns into something unspeakable, full of claws and bleeding string-warts on nights when the moon comes too close… - Hunter S. Thompson

There is a scene in the movie Pulp Fiction that explains almost every terrible thing happening in the news today. And it's not the scene where Ving Rhames shoots that guy's dick off. It's the part where the hit man played by John Travolta is talking about how somebody vandalized his car, and says this:

"Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it, just so I could've caught him doing it."

That last sentence is something everyone should understand about mankind. After all, the statement is completely illogical -- revenge is supposed to be about righting a wrong. But he wants to be wronged, specifically so he'll have an excuse to get revenge. We all do.

Why else would we love a good revenge movie? We sit in a theater and watch Liam Neeson's daughter get kidnapped. We're not sad about it, because we know he's a badass and he finally has permission to be awesome. Not a single person in that theater was rooting for it to all be an innocent misunderstanding. We wanted Liam to be wronged, because we wanted to see him kick ass. It's why so many people walk around with vigilante fantasies in their heads.

Long, long ago, the people in charge figured out that the easiest and most reliable way to bind a society together was by controlling and channeling our hate addiction. That's the reason why seeing hurricane wreckage on the news makes us mumble "That's sad" and maybe donate a few bucks to the Red Cross hurricane fund, while 9/11 sends us into a decade-long trillion-dollar rage that leaves the Middle East in flames.

The former was caused by wind; the latter was caused by monsters. The former makes us kind of bummed out; the latter gets us high.

It's easy to blame the news media for pumping us full of stories of mass shootings and kidnapped children, but that's stopping one step short of the answer: The media just gives us what we want. And what we want is to think we're beset on all sides by monsters.

The really popular stories will always feature monsters that are as different from us as possible. Think about Star Wars -- what real shithead has ever referred to himself as being on "the dark side"? In Harry Potter and countless fantasy universes, you have wizards working in "black magic" and the "dark arts." Can you imagine a scientist developing some technology for chemical weapons or invasive advertising openly thinking of what he does as "dark science"? Can you imagine a real world leader naming his headquarters "The Death Star" or "Mount Doom"?

Of course not. But we need to believe that evil people know they're evil, or else that would open the door to the fact that we might be evil without knowing it. I mean, sure, maybe we've bought chocolate that was made using child slaves or driven cars that poisoned the air, but we didn't do it to be evil -- we were simply doing whatever we felt like and ignoring the consequences. Not like Hitler and the bankers who ruined the economy and those people who burned the kittens -- they wake up every day intentionally dreaming up new evils to create. It's not like Hitler actually thought he was saving the world.

So no matter how many times you vote to cut food stamps and then use the money to buy a boat, you could still be way worse. You could, after all, be one of those murdering / lazy / ignorant / greedy / oppressive monsters that you know the world is full of, and that only your awesome moral code prevents you from turning into at any moment. And those monsters are out there.

They have to be. Because otherwise, we're the monsters - 5 Reasons Humanity Desperately Wants Monsters To Be Real, by Jason Pargin

(Two-Face sequence comes from the end of Batman Annual #14: Eye of the Beholder)

For good or bad, Hyde has become omnipresent. He's a part of our superheroes, he's a part of our supervillains, he's in our monsters. He lives and prattles in our ears, sometimes we need him to survive, and sometimes we become Hyde even when we don't need to, because our survival instincts or base cruelties or desperation brings out the worst in us. Sometimes we can beat him, and sometimes he's not that bad. Sometimes we do need to appease him and listen to what he says, about us and the world around us. And sometimes we need to do so specifically to prove him wrong and beat him again.

But he never, ever goes away, as he so accurately declares in the musical

Do you really think That I would ever let you go...

Do you think I'd ever set you free?

If you do, I'm sad to say It simply isn't so

You will never get away FROM MEEEEEE

(Art by Akreon on Artstation)

#tw: injury #tw: blood #tw: disfigurement #replies tag #dr jekyll and mr hyde #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #robert louis stevenson #two-face #batman #monster tag #universal monsters #horror tag

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uwurakax · 3 years

Text

another day ♡

pairing: oikawa x f!reader ♡

genre: angsty // exes // mutual pining ♡

summary: after the constant fighting and bubbling insecurities, you and oikawa both decide that breaking up is probably for the best. too bad that it wasn’t what either if you had wanted ♡

♡ read part one ‘save your tears’ here ♡

word count: 2k ♡

author’s note: super tired, i should be packing but im not lol, 4am gang ayyy. as always not proofread because i cannot stomach the idea of rereading what i wrote. this was what originally ‘save your tears’ was going to be, but part one got too long so haha. spoils of part one, so if you haven’t read it go ahead, or don’t lolol it could be read alone ig hurr hurr ♡

♡ (inspired by save your tears - the weeknd/ariana grande) ♡

At one point in time, you would’ve enjoyed an atmosphere like this; the blaring lights, pounding music, and even the heat radiating off warm bodies in a cramped space. It was much more enjoyable when you had the familiar, comforting presence of him.

Yes him: Oikawa Tōru. Also known as the the guy who broke your heart less than two months ago. You hadn’t seen him since the week after, finally being able to pick up everything and go. It was scary how silent it was between you two. The unit the both of you had made a home, your first home with him, just a little more barren. Just a little more bare.

Just a little more empty.

Once homely rooms were now plain. To anyone else, it could be called minimalistic or modern. Sleek if you were to exaggerate it. To the both of you however, it was just stone cold. A lifeless corpse. One poor imitation of what it once was.

And seeing it like this was almost enough to have your heart break for a second time. It was a physical representation of your relationship. The feelings of warmth, comfort, admiration, any and every word any literary body could ever akin to love was once found here. It was sad to see it gone, almost like it was never there. However if you looked past the surface you’d see all the small details of things that once occupied the room. The once full drawers now easily fitting clothes with plenty of room to spare. A countertop with products only to one half of the sink. The minuscule dust imprints left behind on the shelves that once housed your books.

The lingering smell of your perfume that was once so prominent.

You couldn’t tell, but Oikawa could. In the week you were gone, it slowly started to fade. The first night Oikawa was drowning in it. It clung to, what once was, your pillow and on the blanket. Choking and suffocating him with the sweet smell. He couldn’t bear to see the bed without you in it, and hated the God awful smell. Opening the window and facing away, he had a dreamless sleep that night.

And as the week passed, so did the scent of you.

He couldn’t explain why, but the moment he opened the door, his body felt at ease. His eyes blessed, even if you had those dark circles and slightly red eyes with unkempt hair. It was as if it was instinct to feel relief at being near you.

It was the longest few hours of Oikawa’s life that day, and somehow it was still just too short. Helping you gather your things, putting them into boxes and loading them into a tiny hired truck until eventually there was nothing left.

You were gone from the apartment, and now Oikawa’s life.

It was awkward the second time, saying goodbye. The finality of it all dawning on the both of you. You at least had this excuse to see each other once more. After this, there was nothing. No more reasons to come back, to call, message or even see each other again.

This was officially the last time you’d ever get to see Oikawa Tōru.

You’d both stood there for a few moments, only the wind against leaves and the occasional car offering any sort of background noise. Neither of you wanting or willing for this moment to end. Despite it all, it wasn’t hard to see that you both yearned for each other. Just how cruel it was that you couldn’t see it.

Oikawa kept your pillow close that night. The smell of you was so faint, he was sure that it wouldn’t be too long before it completely faded. As he held the plush item near his chest he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of life he could’ve had with you if he wasn’t so prideful? All the fantasies and white picket fences surged in his mind, and so he finally drifted off to sleep, thinking of you.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“Here”

You turned to see your best friend handing you a glass of, well you weren’t sure exactly but anything to dull your senses at this point was okay in your book. Yes, almost two months since your breakup and you were still so torn. It was what he wanted right? Your lives are better this way. You’re sure his is. He wouldn’t have to hear you “nag” as he so put it, and you didn’t have to feel the exhaustion resulting because of it.

It was better this way. You knew it. Oikawa knew it. Your friends and family knew it. Heck even the old ladies down the damn street knew it.

So why did it feel so shitty.

You downed the drink quickly, not wanting to go through the spiral of emotions you were sure you were going to experience. You’d deal with the pain and hangover tomorrow like the adult you were. For now you just wanted to dance till your feet hurt, and then drink until they stopped hurting. A quick descent into self destruction that you’re sure you’d regret.

Or maybe you wouldn’t.

The moment you turned your head to get back to the dance floor you locked eyed with him.

For a moment you stopped breathing. The music faded out quickly and the patrons of the club disappeared. Suddenly it was just you and him.

He looked good this time around, nothing like the last time you saw him. His perfectly fluffed and styled hair that was just so effortlessly Oikawa had become messy bed head. His bright chocolate eyes that twinkled just a little with mischief when he smirked had become sunken. His whole demeanour had completely drooped into a depressive state. It hurt to see.

He wasn’t like that now. He looked like how he had been before. No longer were the remnants of a heartbroken man. Oikawa Tōru had gone back to his charming self once again.

A cute girl with silky, long black hair approached him and just as quick as they went, everything came flooding back; the music, people and you found yourself being able to breathe again.

She touched his arm and laughed. The look in her eyes filled with the glimmer coyness. Her body language oozed with flirty persona. It was all too familial.

You should’ve guessed that he’d date again. It wasn’t like he couldn’t. The moment you both severed the relationship he had every right to do what he wanted. You did too. Sure you were seeing someone, but it wasn’t like that.

All too, touchy-feely.

It hurt to see, you weren’t going to lie. Seeing the way he touched her, held her, danced with her. For a good portion of the night you saw it. Seeing him be with her, the way he used to with you. No longer being the main character in his story; you were in the audience, watching.

You didn’t want to stay until the ending.

Without a word, you briskly brushed passed sweaty bodies, being bumped a few times before you finally made it to the door and opened it.

You walked a couple paces to the middle of the footpath, deeply inhaling the fresh air. It wasn’t suffocating anymore. You fumbled with your purse, reaching inside to pull out your phone. With the glow of neon lights emanating behind you, you saw a stray tear on the blackness of your screen.

Fuck, when did that happen?

You wiped it with the palm of your hand, and went to unlock your phone. As you prepared to send a text you heard the call of your voice.

“Tōr-Oikawa?”

He mentally winced at this, the formal tone of using his surname struck something inside. He didn’t like it, not at all. It wasn’t right, it felt strange.

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here? You followed me”

“Right... I guess I just wanted to see how you were, that’s all” he looked away, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. You softened at this. It just took you back to why you fell for him in the first place. The little things like this, that made you feel cared for and loved. Perhaps for a few minutes you could be delusional and pretend that Oikawa still cared for you.

“I’m fine, what about you? How is everything going?” Yikes. You cringed at how awkward you were being. You supposed that that’s how it was, not exactly friends and not complete strangers either.

“Yeah fine too...” he trailed off, and just like that you were brought back to that time before you left. Before the official goodbye. Not ready to end things just yet, but neither knowing what more to say.

Just for a little while, let me remember every trace, curve and detail.

You didn’t know what came over you, but soon enough you found yourself drawing closer to Oikawa. He looked at you with half lidded eyes, not daring to move a step, almost afraid if he did it would ruin this moment with you. Yes, it was selfish but...

You lifted your hand to cup his cheek, just like a memory from before. Using the pad of your thumb, you gently brushed over the soft skin. Ever so delicately, you traced down his jaw. The intimacy of your movements crossed a boundary between you. You knew it and he did too. You’d let yourselves be greedy though.

Oikawa raised his own hands to touch your face, perfectly ingraining it into his mind and body. His fingers slowly going over your features. He wouldn’t allow himself to forget any part of you.

It wasn’t long until you both wanted to overstep more.

The longing between you too great to try and stop. Eventually you both moved closer, faces and soul alike reaching for the other. Just a bit closer.

“Y/N?”

“Oikawa?”

You both frantically pulled away, heart racing now.

“Kageyama..”

“Tobio”

Oikawa tried to hide the venom in his voice, he really did, but when he saw Kageyama make his way beside you he couldn’t help but see red.

It didn’t seem like life was playing a very fair game.

“Oikawa are you alright?” He looked down at the petite girl beside him, now clinging to his arm. He threw on one of his brilliant smiles and told her it was okay.

“Are you cold? Here” Oikawa couldn’t keep up that smile for too long, not when he saw him putting his jacket around you. How you snuggled into the warmth. How it showed Oikawa that you were no longer his, and that you now found solace in another.

He couldn’t blame you, he knew that deep inside. He did the same, why shouldn’t you? It didn’t stop the burning hatred and envy he felt. The overwhelming sadness that enveloped him. All a heavy dump of emotions thrown on him within a few seconds.

You felt it too though. That girl hanging off his arm. Getting to parade around that Oikawa was hers. It was totally unreasonable to feel this way. You both ended things. It was mutual right? You would’ve told him and he would’ve told you if this breakup was a mistake right?

Right?

“Wanna go?” Kageyama whispered in your ear. You nodded.

“It was nice seeing you again T-Oikawa” you smiled sadly.

“You too Y/N...bye” you both turned away, walking in opposite directions. With every step, your heartache grew just a little more. Almost like your body needed to be near his, the memories it held being more truthful than your head could ever be.

Your heart, body and soul wanted Oikawa.

Your mind told you to let him go for his sake.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Hey Oikawa?”

“Yes Kageyama?”

“Hmm?”

“He was your ex right? Oikawa?”

“That girl back there, is she her? The ex?

“Yeah he was”

“Yeah, she was”

“Do you still love him?”

“Do you still love her?”

There was a pause and you both stopped, mulling the question over.

Did you still love each other? It wasn’t hard to tell, everyone knew the answer. Ask any stranger but...

“No”

...

You both lied.

#haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu angst #hq angst #oikawa angst

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