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kissmetae · 3 years

Text

Hope

❧ AU: x Taehyung || Friends to Lovers (Lowkey slow-burn)

You felt distressed, caught up in your own emotions and confused by your over-thought thoughts. Going through a rough patch as some would say, where everything felt hopeless and you found yourself scrolling pinterest till 1am looking for "angsty" core aesthetics to fit your new "vibe" of life. But it was easier said than done to dig yourself a hole when your best friend constantly stood by filling the hole back up as you dug in an attempt to stop you, help you and make you feel better, despite having his own issue to deal with... his crush on you.

|| ANGST + SMUT | 11k | x reader | masterlist in bio ||

❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic. Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.

❧ Rating: EXPLICIT || sexual content, unprotected sex || Warnings: mention of feeling hopeless, "deep reflection", (reader is troubled by something going on in their life but it's open for interpretation/unspecified)

❧ Smut features: Vanilla, desperate, first time together, unprotected, reassuring/concent asking/'checking in' (is this ok? Does it feel good?) top!Tae and a power outage.

How do you know when you've reached the complete state of hopelessness? Do people ever become 100% hopeless? You inhaled deeply and sighed it out. Gaze to the white ceiling, back on the bed and legs up against the wall. The tingle in your feet from the lack of circulation made them look somewhat less alive and feel cold. With a tilt of the hips you allowed your legs to slowly fall to the side, forming a new pose in the shape of a 90 degree angle on the bed and allowing for the less zombie-ish color to return to your feet. Hopelessness. Feeling like there is no point yet still stubbornly aching in the inner crevice of the head with a wish for there to be a chance for something else. A change, a plot twist a sudden eureka to make the entire world loose it's zombie color pallet and become lively and vibrant again. Hope. Or a wish for hope. It's probably some basic programming, like survival instinct, hope instinct. But at this point you didn't want to believe. You wanted to be grumpy, upset, frustrated. To curse society and curse what isn't fair and curse all the norms and expectations around you regardless of who made them up! Curse the media, curse the mold for perfect and the lip filler ads, curse the restrictions planted by your own beliefs and curse the cause of said belief! But feeling frustrated and angry is hard. Not only is it exhausting but it's the hardest emotion to let out fully and feel satisfied by after. If anything anger and frustration feels like a self-fueling fire that keeps burning more and more until you get exhausted and slump down on the bed with your legs up the wall. Crying would've been easier. You sat up, feeling a brief spin in the head due to your advanced modelling poses and reached for your water bottle. Water, Zen, calm rivers, refreshment, sound of clucking water in the harbor... rain. You turned towards your bedroom window at the sudden raging pattering sound outside. Even the sky needed to cry today. You reached for your phone, having it be faced down for the past hour or so after giving up on ranting about your dilemma to your friend. You had two types of friends. Those who were there for you when convenient and those who were there for you regardless. Taehyung was one of them. 3 missed calls. 15 texts- make that 16. A sting of guilt washed through realizing he must've been worried sick the past hour. Too exhausted to use your vocal chords you opened the text chat. Taehyung was the definition personified of a caring person. Sometimes to the extent where you'd question if it was more than anyone deserved. Did the world deserve Taehyung? You didn't make it through the second text before your doorbell rang followed by a loud bang. It sounded urgent... You got up from bed and slipped your feet into your white fluffy slippers and made your way to the front door of your apartment. You unhooked the clasp and unlocked your door to see one of the rainstorm's victims dripping water onto your doormat. Taehyung, Dressed in a green raincoat and hair clinging to his forehead and temples. His chest was rising unnaturally with his attempts to regain his breathe. "Tae-" He stepped in, an arm wrapping around your side and the other pressing your head to his wet shoulder. "If you didn't make me so worried... I would've removed my raincoat before hugging you." He squeezed. "See this as my revenge." His heart was beating fast. He pulled back after a few seconds, breathing stable and his red hands reaching to unbutton his raincoat. Did he not wear gloves? He pulled the door shut behind him and gently kicked off his boots. Apparently not. "I'll... go hang your raincoat in the bathroom for it to dry" you said, taking it from him. He was quick to address the elephant. "Why didn't you reply to my texts?" He followed behind you. "I... I left my phone to charge and I got distracted..." you made up, hanging his raincoat up in the shower. "I didn't come here to scold you, but when you tell me you're feeling hopeless, you get that it makes me worried right?" His voice was gentle and he looked at you with concerned eyes, stood in the door to the bathroom. Actually.... you didn't. Why would anyone worry... everyone seemed to always take it as nihilistic comedy or something and swat it away with something along the lines of "you’re just hungry" or the classic "are you on your period?" Maybe you were or maybe you weren't but why would that matter? Just thinking about it made you feel annoyed. As if any deep emotion only was caused by a period, it's just a period, why would anyone, let alone someone with a period themselves ask someone else that in a way that minimizes the reason they feel upset or angry or whatever emot- "Hey?" Taehyung pulled you back out from inside your head. "I don't know..." He crossed his arms over his chest and you knew that look far too well. "We'll talk about it, but right now, I'm here to make it better and take care of you. Did you eat?" You shook your head. "Great! Because I stopped by at the shop on my way... before the rain attacked me and picked up some stuff, including~" he said with an eager tone and walked towards the grocery bag you hadn’t noticed until now. He picked it up and dug his hand in for something. "Du du du du" he sang dramatically and slowly pulled out the familiar dark blue packaging. The love of your life, the source of all things good. Chocolate. The good one! Not the weird orange wrapping one you hated, but the blue one, the holy blue one, your favorite one. "I remember your frustration when you saw the empty shelf of horror last week and it was restocked today so i picked up three just in case." "THREE?!" "Mhm!" He nodded proudly. You could cry, finally, but for other reasons. "TaeTae you're the best." You walked towards him, hugging him tight. He was the bestest of the best, the hero, the savior, chocolate delivery man. Oh what would life be without him. A blush spread across his cheeks. "You did it again." He said shyly "Hm? Did what?" "You called me TaeTae." "You don't like it?" "... I do." -- Taehyung had you stationed at the kitchen table while he cooked. With a focused gaze he scrolled on his phone, reading the next step for the recipe while stirring the pot. You were pretty sure he knew this recipe by heart now, he'd cooked it for you before and he should be confident in it but seemingly not enough yet to put the recipe down. The kitchen smelt amazing and you could feel your hunger cry out for whatever was simmering in the pot. Taehyung gently tapped the wooden spoon against the pot as he added another ingredient. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. That's where you'd left him hanging in your texts when exhaustion took over... "I just..." "Is it /that/ thing?" Taehyung asked, very much knowing of your source for distress already. "Kinda... but this time it feels different... I’m not nervous or eager, I just felt like I was waiting and waiting and what if I waited so long for nothing and I.... it doesn’t make sense but I just feel numb at this point and like I'm losing hope. Like every odd is set against me and I'm the only one dumb enough to still bet on myself." "And me. Except I'm not dumb, nor are you and I'll always bet on you. Always." Oh Taehyung... "Well, as your personal doctor and advisor and therapist and nurse, care-taker, comfort teddy and so on, I am going to prescribe you with some stuff." You chuckled. "Please go ahead." He placed a plate in front of you and another on the opposite end of the table. "Firstly, a good healing meal." "And you’ve already done everything in your power right now, you’ve been working hard. Maybetoohard." He mumbled under his breathe followed by a fake cough. "That said, let me distract you." "How?" "Well, some old school friends wanted to go out clubbing this weekend and-" "You don't like clubbing." "Hold on, let me get to the point. My suggestion is that you can come too, it won’t only be them. There will be the general club people too of course and I think most of them were bringing other friends or their girlfriends too so... it might be fun? If it sucks, we'll ditch and go to the midnight bowling place or noraebang, yes?" Maybe having some social interaction, an excuse to dress up and good music wasn't such a bad idea? The only thing bugging you was the potential mess there could be... and lately with your stressed mind you hadn't been the best at handling those environments, but after all this was just a club, with dancing people... it couldn't be that bad right? Bowling did sound fun too though... But you knew distraction and fun was what you probably needed. Maybe it wouldn't solve the issues but maybe it'd make it weigh less. The small distractions did a lot, a big one should do even more. "Sure." "Really?!" You could've sworn you just witnessed his ears wiggle from excitement. "I'll come." -- When Taehyung said "clubbing" you expected big flashy neon signs, a red rope and a guard and pulsing music coming from inside... not a giant base, a sax and a set-up of almost 4 different types of synthesizers. A jazz club. You should've known. The band was some sort of electro jazz fusion sprinkled with funk type band, as they introduced themselves as and they weren't bad, not at all. In fact this was a lot cozier than an uncomfortable packed nightclub. You just wish Taehyung told you so you could've worn your comfy flowy favorite dress rather than your tight little black one, wanting to fit in with the scene... Taehyung was dressed in black slacks, a green sweater and a brown coat that was hung over his chair, paired with his trademark assortment of bracelets on his wrist. Including the one you gave him for his birthday two years ago. He never took it off since the day he got it. It made you smile seeing it on his wrist. Taehyung's old school friends, the few you had managed to great during the evening were all really nice and most of them had their arm either around another or a hand held by another. You couldn't help but feel a little awkward, the questioning looks that didn't need to be vocal for you to understand. "Is this your girlfriend?" Taehyung just smiled, maybe playing it off was best... or did he just not notice the silent question? At first you expected a shrug or something but nope... "Would you like something more to drink?" Taehyung asked, leaning in so you'd hear him over the music and pointing towards your nearly empty glass. "I think I'm alright." "What?" "I'm ok." You leaned in closer. "Do you want to dance?" You and Taehyung were seated alone at one of the many tables as the majority were occupied dancing to the beats of the band and the rest drinking at other tables or mingling around. You had been up there at least twice, maybe even three times dancing the best you could and Taehyung always being by your side but your brain was starting to get a little drowsy. "I think I'm going to call it a night. But you can stay if you want." "No no, if you want to go home I'll come with you, let me walk you home." "I'll take a taxi its ok" "I insist." "So do I" the few drink he had had were enough to make his words braver and bolder. "It's late, I don't want you to go back alone regardless of if you take a taxi. I'll walk you." Fine. "Ok" Taehyung swept the remainder of his wine and grabbed his coat and waved some quick goodbyes. It was cold outside. Dark and empty... maybe it was good Taehyung insisted after all. He stumbled slightly, alarming you. Your hands instinctively reached for him and he giggled. "You only had two glasses I doubt you're drunk right now." "Maybe I wiwwle tipdie" he giggled, clearly acting up. "Does wiwwle tipdie Taehyung need help? Should I carry you on my back?" "No! I should be carrying you, do you have a blister on your heal from your shoes? Sore feet? Sore legs? Anything I can use as an excuse?" You laughed, patting him gently on the back. A cold breeze travelled through the street and you pulled your jacket tighter around you. "You're cold?" Taehyung asked "A little... my choice of dress wasn't the best." "I think you look beautiful." The sudden compliment caught you off guard. "... thanks." "Thanks? For what?" "The compliment" "I'm simply stating the facts." He said, looking to the side and slipping his hands into his pockets. "It sure is cold..." Why was it feeling awkward suddenly? Silence between the two of you would usually be comfortable... "Thanks for bringing me too." "Did you have fun?" He turned to face you again. "Yes, it was better than I expected." "I'm glad to hear that." "But let’s go bowling next time." "Sure!" He smiled widely. A source of warmth suddenly surrounded you and you looked up to see Taehyung's face turned away yet again but his arm resting around your shoulder, wrapping his coat around you and urging you closer into his side till your hips almost brushed against each other. The rest of the walk back home was a few minutes of silence, but luckily you didn't live far. "Home sweet home" "How will you get home?" You asked, concerned. "Ah..." he checked the time on his phone. "Well I've missed the last train... so unless I can find a taxi which so far I've seen none I'll have to sleep at the station." "No you're not, come, you can call a taxi from my place and at least wait inside instead of out in the cold." You said, grabbing his arm and pulling him with you through the entrance. "Nobody's picking up?" You asked Taehyung looked down at his phone with a confused look. "It keeps hanging up on me? I don't know if maybe their line is down or something?" "It would explain why we didn't see any on the walk back." "I guess so... so now what?" He looked up at you. "Guess you'll have to stay the night." He grinned. "Can't remember the last time we had a sleep-over" he chuckled and removed his coat. He was right, it must've been years ago... the last time you could remember was a movie night gone sleep over during winter when it had snowed so no traffic was able to move at all. You grabbed a spare cover and a pillow and handed it to Taehyung, sleepiness already present in his eyes. "Hey." Taehyung said, laying out the pillow and cover on your sofa. "If I have a nightmare can I come lay next to you?" He grinned. "If you have to." He replied with a puppy gaze. "Good night TaeTae." His eyes widened and he looked down at the couch. "... Good night." -- The question was when would you wake to the sound of birds chirping instead of the aggressive rasp of the snow plow dragging across the street? It almost sounded like it was more ir less plowing the asphalt off the earth rather than the snow. More irritating was that it just added to your unsatisfying sleep and rough awakening streak. One good morning was all you asked for... You sat up, slid off the edge of the bed and slipped into your slippers that were neatly set up by its side. A scratch of the head and an adjusting pull of the bun on your head and you headed to you first destination; tea. With heavy steps you dragged yourself out of your room and were met by the surprise you had forgotten was left on your couch from last night, sprawled across the sofa... in only boxers. Oh god. The covers were halfway on the floor, only covering his legs, barely. It was cold too but should you just ignore him... no, you couldn't... but what if you woke him up? He was only in boxers and you were already trying your best not to look but your brain had already registered that they were black and Calvins... please no more information... thigh muscles NO! Chest, focus on the chest. He was breathing, he was alive. Inhale, exhale. You carefully made your way towards him. His chest was toned... the type perfect to rest your head on NO! Messy hair... It really didn't help that your best friend was as attractive as he was. You bent down and carefully picked up the cover, pulling it back up over his upper body. He must've been really cold, his nipples- NO. You shook your head furiously to get rid of the thought. You turned around 180 degrees and marched to the kitchen. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tae. TEA! You could hear the covers rustle as he shifted, followed by a soft groan. Oh no... Please no. Although... why was it so dangerous for him to see you in your own home, making tea. I don't know! But regardless it felt like an action movie stealth scene for the grand heist judging by your heart beat. The boiler was too loud, the accidental clink of the mug as you set it to the counter too, the rip of packaging of the tea bag, the wind whistling outside! Sweat? You were sweating, stress consuming you yet again over the moist pointless little thi- "Hey?" The tea cup smashed against the kitchen floor along with your gasp and you grabbed the door handle of the kitchen cupboard for support. Taehyung starred at you with wide startled eyes. Maybe your screech scared him as much as his sudden presence scared you. "Sorry." He chuckled, voice so deep and raspy you could practically feel his vocal chords vibrate. Your heart was pounding hard. Could he at least have been swaddled in the covers and not in his boxers right now... You diverted your eyes to the porcelain shards across the floor. "Wait wait wait!" Taehyung yelped, holding his hand out to stop you from moving. But it was too late. The dark kitchen along with your giddiness had of course resulted in the unfortunate miss step. You sighed, lifting your foot from the chard as you felt something wet trickle down your foot. Taehyung quickly reached to turn the lights on, the bright shine blinding both of you briefly and making the view of him even clearer. "Stay there." Taehyung ordered. Your kitchen was pretty small so there wasn't much space to move without risking another wrong step. A cup of tea and now all this. You slapped your arms to your sides in a deep pout. Making a new cup now just felt wrong but you craved a cup so bad and it was cold... the floor was cold, you were cold... and not to mention everything hanging in form of heavy weights on your shoulders and chilling on top of the imaginary storm cloud above you right now. It's like your issues were mocking you and just making everything worse. Maybe the issue was that you related to the once-was intact mug. You felt split and unorganized, all over the place and dependent on things you knew you shouldn’t be depending your hope and happiness on but yet day after day you’d lose yourself in a visualization of a scenario of perfection were everything would be ok until again the door was slammed in your face and you had to start all over again. No matter how many times you felt like this time would be different and this time you were ready, this time it'd all go your way because the past was forgiven and your time wasn’t right but again and again .... Your patience was running out. You sniffed, wiping the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. Taehyung came back holding a broom and a dust pan when he saw your face of tears. "No..." he sounded panicked. He leaned down quickly sweeping the chards to the side of the kitchen and tossing the broom and pan into the pile so he could approach you. Strong lean arms embarrassed you like out of a 6 different angles k-drama scene. A hand found its place on the back of your head, softly petting you as the other pressed you closer to his warm chest. Never had you expected that hugging Taehyung would feel this safe. May it be because he was the one you could be truly vulnerable with or that he was the one that knew what was going on right now, but whatever he did... he did it just right. "You don't need to say anything." He whispered. "I know." He squeezed you a little firmer. "I know." He reassured. "Sssh" his hand felt so gentle as it caressed you. "It's going to be ok." He felt so warm. "I'm here." His skin felt so soft against your hands. "I'm not going anywhere." Your heart calmed down. Taehyung didn't pull away until you became silent and your breathing stable. But even then he didn't pull away completely, only enough to look at your face and caress his thumbs under each eye gently. "I'll reheat the water for you." He smiled softly and reached for the switch on the kettle. You didn't want to let go, not just yet. But he slipped away carefully and kneeled to sweep up the shards and discarded the pieces into the bin. He briefly disappeared and came back holding his sweater, arms slipped in and pulling it over his head as he entered, causing his shoulders to naturally flex slightly as he slipped it on. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, added a bag in each and filled them with the hot water. You tugged and fidgeted at your sleeve as you watched, feeling unusually shy in his presence. "Come, let’s sit on the sofa" Taehyung said and grabbed a mug in each hand but quickly came to a halt. "Your foot!" You had forgotten about it too. He placed the mugs back down and watched you as you lifted to check the cut. "Fuck." Taehyung said and quickly ripped a piece of kitchen towel off and handed it to you. Holding one hand against the fridge for support and the other wiping the smeared mess on your foot you watched as Taehyung quickly disappeared and reappeared again with your med kit. "Does it hurt?" He asked, rummaging through the kit. "No, it just stings a little." He pulled out some disinfectant solution and eyes you quickly up and down. Before you knew it he was stood in front of you, kneeling slightly as you felt his large hand grab a hold behind your thigh and his arm scooped you up on him. Your heart was back to its rapid pace again. He set you down on the sofa carefully and went back to grab the disinfectant and the tea mugs. He sat on the floor in front of you, soaking a cotton pad with the solution and gentle pulling your foot towards him by the ankle. "Ah, thanks goodness it doesn't seem to be deep." He said with relief, gently dabbing the cotton pad to the wound. It stung a little but it wasn't too bad. "All nice and clean, do you have cute band-aids?" "Only boring plain ones I'm afraid." Taehyung scrunched his nose. "Boo." With a band-aid beneath your foot and your longed for tea in your hands you sat next to him on the sofa. "An eventful morning." "I should become your fulltime caretaker at this point." Taehyung joked. "Not that I'd mind." "Will you pay me?" He raised his brows as well as the mug to his lips. "No way." You smiled. "Charity work is good for karma." "I already have good karma!" Taehyung protested, pretending to be offended. He laughed that trademark warm laugh that was like a smooth cackle that somehow always triggered a little firework to go off in your chest. You smiled, looking into your mug as if it'd tell you a fortune. ... you swallowed and looked up. In winter the sun rose late and had begun its voyage above the horizon, painting the sky a bright warm orange tone as it shined in through the window behind Taehyung. No. You didn't have feelings for him. You just felt some post-event shakiness and nerves and for the matter of a fact you finally got your much needed cry. It must just be your chest feeling lighter thanks to the cry. "So, do you have any planes today?" Taehyung asked. "I don't even know what day it is." "Good, I don't have plans either and it's Saturday for your information. But I do have a potential plan and that is, since I'm already here, to spend the day with you unless you have important to do's, which you shouldn't, because you need a break." He whispered towards the end. "A fmnn break." He repeated, biting his lip on the word to censor himself, but he got his point across. "A break would be nice... but when I try, I feel distressed as if I shouldn't be doing it because I'm wasting my time. I need-" "A distraction" Taehyung filled in. You nodded. "Then thou shall sit here and watch my live-in-action cooking show live from your kitchen." He said cheerfully, slapping his hands to his thighs as he stood up. "Do you have strawberries?" He asked. "In the freezer." "Yes!" He made his way to the kitchen, worth to mention is the open floor plan of your apartment so you could see him well enough from where you were seated. The soft messy curls on his head bounced with him as he walked. He dramatically pointed at you with a spatula in his hand. "Welcome." He said, speaking deeply into the spatula. "The pancake and strawberry smoothie extravaganza extraordinaire show with your host." He point his thumb and index under his chin. "Kim Taehyung." His goofiness never failed to bring a smile to your face. He went to grab his phone on the sofa table. "I need background music...." he hummed as he scrolled, spatula still in his other hand. "Jeopardy music 10 hours?" He looked up at you for an opinion. "Please no." He giggled and a calm upbeat song started playing from him phone as he put it back down and resorted to the kitchen. While frying up the first batch he was spaced out, humming on the theme tune to jeopardy anyway. You had made yourself comfortable on the sofa, lying down. The sofa smelt like him now. The same sweet comforting scent as the hug had... and his coat the numerous times he'd wrapped it around you when it was cold or shielded you from the rain with it. But speaking of memory, thinking back at those often occurring times you were also reminded about how a previous "friend" used to try and provoke you into being nervous and shy in Taehyung's presence. You'd been close for years and maybe she had an issue with that or something but she'd always find ways to tease you in way. Claiming Taehyung was giving you "looks" or "checking you out" in ways she as a self-declared expert in men deemed were of more than friendly nature. And since she as expert of men by that likely thought all men were the same, proves how reliable of a source she was. Taehyung he just.... you were close. She just wanted to make you feel embarrassed and self-conscious and make it awkward between you. You hated thinking about that. It made you overthink and feel awkward. Like an evil loop. You looked up at the breakfast chef, catching his eye as he quickly looked back down to the pancakes. You could get used to this view. Handsome man in boxers and sweater making you pancakes when you’re feeling blue, the headline in your head spelled out. The Zen experience of the kitchen fan being turned off brought stillness and Taehyung emerges with a plate of pancakes, disappearing and re-appearing again after denying your offer to help with the strawberry smoothies, plates, forks, knifes and every suitable pancake topping he had been able to locate in your kitchen. And a tube of mustard as a joke that you only kept in your fridge for when your dad came over to dinner and his weird obsession with having mustard on everything. It was probably even expired. "Enjoy your meal." "You're my hero Taehyung." You said, stabbing a pancake. "I can be your hero baby." You froze. "What?" "Haven't you heard that song?" He smiled. Oh.. "Hero? By Enrique Iglesias?" "Ah, now that you mention it-" "With the weird music video were goes on this road trip with the girl and then he's suddenly rubbing money over her body in this random stone house." "Is this what you binge on youtube at 2am when I wake up to 15 links and emotional texts." "Do not judge me!" You giggled. "I'm not, I like waking up to those texts from you. You sent them to me for a reason." Taehyung smiled shyly. "Yeah... anyhow! I have a suggestion, a proposal, a-" "Go on" "Since I'm your hero, but even I weren't. I thought maybe I could stay here a few days? Only if you want me to, of course. I just-" he became shyer. "I like to think that you seem to feel better when I'm around and you're going through a rough time so I'd like to be there for you, like you are for me." Your heart made its presence in your chest known yet again. "You should think.... because it's true." "So?" "It'd be nice." He smiled widely. "Great! But I do need to go home and pack some clothes and... some pajamas and Yeontan! He is a great comforter trust me, he has cheered me up many times when I've cried." "Cried? What were you crying about?" "Oh- uhm it's nothing, it's ok now so." He swatted it away. "Boys cry too." He joked, but it tasted weird. "But he's staying with my parents this weekend, but if you want I can go pick him up." He suggested. "It's ok, he needs time with his grandparent." Taehyung chuckled. "Well they love their grandson so I'm sure they wouldn't mind having him stay an extra day or two." -- You couldn't help but feel bad that Taehyung had to sleep on the sofa... His bag with clothes and necessities was placed in the hallway and the covers neatly hung over the backrest. "We could take turns and sleep in the bed every other day." "I told you it was fine." Taehyung insisted, again. "I just feel bad..." "Then let’s both sleep in your bed and call it even." "...." your cheeks felt hot. "See, so I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't worry about it!" What does he mean "see"? ... you were simply imagining what excuse to use as to how your head would coincidentally end up on his chest instead of your pillow. "Or we'll both sleep on the sofa, but it might be a bit cramped." He continued. "Maybe this was a bad idea..." "Hey no! No, I'm just joking. Don't feel bad ok." Taehyung's hands smoothed down your arms. "Beds are better at healing wounds on the feet too." You exhaled deeply. "Oh TaeTae..." "Doesn't this feel like we're having a pajama party or sleep over?" He smiled. "Kinda, should we build a blanket fort and watch movies?" His mouth dropped open. "I'm just kidding!" You laughed He pouted. "Oh you want to?" A nod. "You want to build a fort and watch movies?" You asked with more excitement. More enthusiastic nodding. You both cracked up laughing on the sofa together. "I'm serious though." Taehyung grinned. -- You lied awake in your bed, eyes to the ceiling. For some wild reason you both thought it would be a great idea to binge through the entire twilight saga series as a source of comedy but you only made it up to half-way through eclipse when it became too much to handle for both of you. The first movie was easy to mock and laugh at and make fun out if but once it got more serious and romantic in new moon it started getting a little awkward. To say the least, feeling flustered from watching twilight but not due to the movie itself but from the presence of Taehyung right next to you in your make-shift sofa blanket fort. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And he was out there... on your sofa, right now. And who knew if he was in cute polka dot pajamas with his hair a mess on the pillow or his tight fitted boxers and his hair tied up.. You bit your lip, crossing your legs at the visual. You remembered the first time you witnessed Taehyung tie his hair up and how it felt like being punched in the gut. It's not possible to be that attractive. "Then aren't you attracted to him?" The voice echoed in your head. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you're attracted to them! Which is very much true. But Taehyung's personality was attractive too which was harder to justify the same way. And his person. And him. The entire package. You sighed. Maybe the stupidest thing you could do right now was reach for your phone and google "do I have feelings for my best friend?" Ah yes. A quiz. Maybe it wasn't so stupid after all, it'd say maybe you like him but you're not into him at the very most. Question 1, do you find them attractive. Well who wouldn't? And like mentioned it doesn't mean you're attracted to him. Yes. Question 2, do they like you? Pfft... what kind of question is that? How would you know? I don't know... or yes I guess? I mean he clearly likes you as a friend or he wouldn't be up to making all this effort for you but do they mean platonically? You ticked maybe. Question 3, Do you stalk them on social media? What the??? He's your best friend! The algorhythm shoves his posts in your face weather you like it or not. Sometimes. Question 4, Do you see them a lot? Yes. Question 5, Do you want to know more about them? You already know everything ... but what he cries about to Yeontan is something. Yes. Question 6, when you see them with somebody else who isn't considered their friend, how do you feel? Jealous. Question 7, when they're around you how do you feel? Nervous or self-conscious or nothing or i don’t know... well nervous AND a little self-conscious depending on the situation and if he's dressed or in just his boxers. Nervous. Question 8, Do you think about them? Yes. Always. Question 9, Do you laugh at their jokes? Another weird one but yes. Question 10, are they your ex? Huh? No. Definitely. A lot. You placed your phone screen down on your chest and let out a sigh. Maybe visualizing a kiss or two while in the shower was a crime after all... or was the question why were you in the first place? He was amazing in every type of way and you wanted to know if he was amazing at kissing too andmaybeinbed but you can't just ask him that or try it out, so you had to resort to imagination.... Who were you even trying to convince at this point? You liked him. Definitely. And a lot. The realization did nothing to help you fall asleep unfortunately. Another 15 minutes in dark silence passed when you suddenly heard the floorboards squeak. Maybe Taehyung was going to the bathroom or grabbing a glass of water... But the soft pats of his feet should've stopped by now... Your half open door pushed open a bit more shyly and Taehyung peaked in. Dressed in pajama bottoms, but no shirt. "You're awake." He said, whispering. "So are you." "I can't sleep..." he rubbed his arm. "I feel lonely." As if you'd deny him looking all shy and vulnerable in your door. You scooted to the side in your bed, making raise his brows in hope and anticipation, fingers fidgeting. "Come." You said, patting the bed next to you. The bed dipped gently as he lied down and you put the covers over him. He shifted onto his side, placing his head on your pillow. This was better. But since you just took an online quiz to realize you had feelings for this man currently shirtless in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly awkward. "How come you're feeling lonely?" You asked, trying to conceal your stiffness "To a start I sleep better when I get to hold something." He said shyly "Who?" You asked, intending for it to be a thought. "When I'm at home, Yeontan." Of course... "He lays on the bed and I feel less lonely and hearing him walk around or do something makes me feel soothed knowing I'm not alone... for the most part." "Are the tears you cry... tears of loneliness?" You could tell it triggered something in him. He bit his lip and nodded gently, eyes glossy. "For the most part it's just me and a pillow." He confessed. "But you could say-... it's something like that, yes." Face to face, mere inches apart. You thanked the darkness of the room that he couldn't see you blush right now but unreasonable fear that he'd somehow "sense" it in the atmosphere still worried you. You shouldn't have taken that stupid quiz it only made you start overthinking and it was probably rigged and the questions were weird so why should you listen to it? Get back to your senses! He's your best friend and you're comfortable with him! Calm down! "... I know it's dumb" Taehyung mumbled. "I know it seems like I'm this easy-going social butterfly with lots of friends who can find someone to hang out with within seconds... but when I'm alone at home, I just feel so empty. Like if nobody sees me, I don't exist. Thus when I'm alone, I'm not real anymore." "That's very philosophical, but what if someone thinks about you while you are alone? Then wouldn't you exist since somebody has you on their mind?" "But it'd be impossible for me to know and people have better things to do than walk around and daydream about me." It stung a little inside hearing him say this. "People are actually capable of multitasking you see, they can do these better things you speak of and think about you at the same time. I think about you a lot, sometimes I think about you while doing the laundry, riding the bus or taking a show- that sound's wrong." Taehyung chuckled. "But you get what I mean." "What do you mean?" He asked "That I think about you and that you aren't alone TaeTae, you never are. If you're ever feeling lonely, maybe think about me. If that helps. Or get to know yourself more, become your own friend or create an imaginary friend!" "I already do that." "Have an imaginary friend?" "Think about you." Oh. "... does it help?" You asked shyly. He shook his head. "It just makes me miss you and want to come to see you." Is it possible to experience a softer heart attack than you just did? Rather than a heart exploding in saw gore-level mess it gently poofed and became a small cloud of red feathers gently falling to the ground. Since when had you become a softie? Two hours ago you were all if there's no sex in the romance novel, it's not worth my time but now you suddenly felt an urge to ransack the romance section of the nearest library to read every cheesy romance story you could find until you could find one similar to your own. Your... own? What? With... with Taehyung? ... not that you’d visualize every male lead character as coincidentally similar to him regardless of how their looks were described in the book.... "Maybe I do need to spend some time with myself to get over it..." No! Stay here with me! "I can spend more time with you." Taehyung looked up. "I think that could benefit us both." He sounded more hopeful now. "Well, you're already here so it's also convenient." Despite the darkness you could make out the smile on his face that appeared. Cute. But wait... did Taehyung suggest he could stay here for you, because he felt lonely? He shifted slightly and the sheets rustled. His leg accidently brushed against yours and your first thought was to tangle your legs with his in a leg tackle war... but you still felt too on edge to act casual and playful with him like you normally could. You swallowed. "How long have you felt this way?" "A while... a long while. At first it was nothing but then it got worse and even more worse when I realized this one thing." "What thing was that if I may ask?" He sighed. "It's hard to explain... but, say a friend." "Mhm?" "A friend feels kinda lost, existentialism and stuff going on, doesn't like to be by himself, then he finds this person and they make him forget it all but once they’re apart it all returns to him again like they were his escape but only for as long as they were together." "Is that only with that one person or all?" "No no, only that person. And then he realizes he might be in love, or he's addicted to the person in a way, but in a good way not an obsessive way just-" "In love?" "Something like that." "You're in love?" "Huh?! What no! This was about a friend! I'm not talking about me!" "Then what did you realize Taehyung?" You could tell his mind briefly blanked in panic. "I realized that maybe I, as said friend need to find that person for me." "A person?" He nodded shyly. "You want to fall in love?" "I don't know... something like that." 'Something like that' seemed to be his catchphrase this evening. But in love? A person? His person?... that couldn't be you... could it? Did he want you to be his person? Were you his person?? The questions and confusion kept spiraling through your head, (finally) making you feel tired and exhausted. "I think... I just want to tend to someone else than myself, to not have to think so much about it and instead take care of somebody else." "Is that why you offered to stay?" "Yes and no, I want to take care of you because I am genuinely concerned and worried about you, I want to be there for you. But also, sleeping on the couch last night, hearing you tiptoe around the kitchen... it made me feel comforted." His voice sounded drowsy. "If you want... I can be your person in this scenario." You suggested. "You've already become.. person." He mumbled, sinking deeper into his half-awake state. -- You stretched your leg out one at the time, twisting your body gently and inhaling deeply into a stretch, gently batting your eyes open. You pushed a palm against the bed to get up into a seated position when something suddenly restrained you, heavy over your abdomen. Surprised, you raised the sheet to see the reminder of what you had forgotten last night. Over your waist, a lean arm with faint thin dark hairs and a few subtle veins travelling up the forearm from the large hand clung to the side of your waist... all attached to the source of warmth to your left, Taehyung. His dark locks a mess on the pillow, his bare upper body now fully on display in the daylight and his polka dot pajama pants haven travelled down a bit too far low for your sanity... Cursed be the eyes in your skull for travelling down the view. You would've noticed it sooner or later regardless, especially since your thigh was a hair between touching it. It, being the weird relief of knowing he got some deep relaxing sleep in... but with an awkward morning surprise... and his arm wouldn't grant you freedom without you accidentally or intentionally having to wake him up. You carefully shifted to at least have your thighs at a safer distance, but your bed wasn't intended for two people, so it was easier said than done. His grip suddenly tightened and a low groan escaped him as he shifted. Why did you feel fear as if you shouldn’t be present in your bed in which he entered himself. If anyone Taehyung should be the one fearing his life right now. His thumb caressed your side gently and it felt nice... soothing. Until his eyes suddenly opened wide with a soft gasp as you felt his morning hard on grace against your thigh. Eyes that pleaded and begged you didn't notice pierced into yours and you decided to play along. "Did you sleep well?" His hand quickly retreated to your disappointment. "Sorry i... I did it in my sleep it wasn't-" "It's ok, you said you sleep well holding something and being held didn't feel too bad..." "Well, in that case, I actually slept better than I have in a really long time." He said, voice raspy and deep still. He rolled onto his back, thankfully, and placed his hand behind his head. "Did you?" "Huh?" "Did you sleep well?" "In fact, I did." You said, answering truthfully and resisting the urge to put your head on his bare chest. If only the lord or whoever would stop testing me... "Hungry?" He asked. You nodded. "Great, I'll fix something ok, but close your eyes." "Why?" "I'm shirtless." ... right. You covered your eyes with your hands and the warmth left your side as he got up and escaped the room. You slowly got up, trying to win some time for him but a few brief seconds later heard the sound of the bathroom door down the hall closing and locking. Yikes. That went smoother than expected. You set up some tea, knowing Taehyung described coffee as the closest to unlethal poison you could find, you knew he'd prefer tea or hot chocolate and that there was no use to ask. You knew him too well. It was nice having him here. And waking up with a strong arm around your waist wasn't too bad either... if only you could've let yourself enjoy the moment instead of freaking out, what if he grew cautious now and you'd never experience it again? You sighed softly, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. After a while, the kettle clicked and you poured some water into each mug. It had been a while now... ... was he meditating in there? There was no sound of the shower, or anything, not that you were listening. Would it be weird if you asked if he was ok? Since the kettle was off the entire apartment became significantly more silent. You heard a faint mumble. "Fuck..." You swallowed. Ear please momentarily turn off, mind and imagination too please. You reached to put the kettle back on but since the water was already hot it clicked off again after 5 seconds. The bathroom door opened and you braced yourself to not look down. Luckily, he was now wearing his oversized sweater or else you would've failed immediately. He let out a soft chuckle. "I spaced out." His cheeks were flushed red and glowing. Right. "I made you some tea." -- Why were deep topics always easier to talk about at night? Were people like clams? You wake up and it opens a little and once we hit the night the clam is fully open and then closes during sleep to a new no-talk-me-I-not-have-tea-yet to ask-me-about-how-i-view-existentialism cycle? Or were nights just vulnerable with the darkness? In that case you should metaphorically speaking be an open clam all day during winter when the sun goes into its own hibernation. But here you were again, just like last night, except... 20 minutes into the sudden power outage that made your impromptu movie night come to a halt. And it was getting really cold. Bundled up under a cover together, staring at the flicker of the candle on the coffee table in silence. "I was going to offer to make you tea to warm you up but the kettle..." Taehyung said with a soft chuckle. "The power will probably come back any moment soon." He said optimistically. As you looked out of the window earlier, you noticed it wasn't just your place, but the entire block seemed to have an outage. Unusual. But the current roaring rain storm outside likely had something to do with it. The wind was aggressive, the windows shook, it whistled in a creepy way and the trees outside rustled loudly. "How about we play a game?" Taehyung suddenly suggested, breaking off the silence again. He was feeling awkward, you could tell. He always rested his hands in his lap, fidgeting or poking at the cuticles of his nails when he felt awkward. "Sure, what should we play?" His face lit up. "Questions and answers? I can start!" "Shoot!" You folded your legs and shifted to face him on the couch. "What's your ideal type." ... he... immediately went there. "Looks or personality?" Taehyung shrugged. "Both." "Well it depends on the vibe they give off of course... and mainly. I guess tall, but it's not that important, wide shoulders are always nice." You paused to think, how can I describe Taehyung without it sounding like I'm describing Taehyung. "Funny, caring, optimistic, outgoing..." "Like me!" He smiled widely. You leaned back, squinting while caressing your chin, examining him playfully. "Hmmmn" He placed his hands under his jaw, like he was displaying his face and batted his eyelashes. "Not bad, not bad." He looked disappointed. "Just not bad?" You playfully nudged his arm. "It's your turn to answer. "Fine." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest but cracking a giggle. "I'll ask you the same question." "Very original, you." "It's called recycling, so tell me." "I did." "Huh?" "You." Your heart froze briefly before beginning to pound. "Me?" "Mn!" He said confidently. "You're not bad" he mocked. You swallowed. "I have a question about the rules." "Go on" "If I ask you anything, do you have to tell the truth?" "Yes! Nothing but. So you better tell me what you actually think rather than 'not bad'" "Is the friend you talked about actually you? And am I the person?" He tensed up, swallowing. "I guess it was obvious..." he mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking down at his lap. "I just..." he began, but reluctance interrupted him. "I understand." You said. He looked up, seemingly surprised yet still tensed "I make you feel less lonely." He nodded slowly. "Which makes sense. After all we're best friends." You continued. "... right." He looked away. "Best friends." Taehyung reached up to move his hair away from his eyes, still facing down as if he was considering something. "So... what do you think of me?" His voice sounded more serious. Where to start of course he was gorgeous! Wide shoulders, a build you'd die to slide your hands down, dark big eyes, a sweet smile with plump lips, sculpted perfectly and his honey skin. Person wise... he was someone you'd want to have as your person. "A nice person" He scoffed. "Seriously?" He seemed upset. He finally looked up, meeting your gaze. There was a sparkle in his eye. The warm light from the candle made his face glow even more. "I mean person as in the person you have, a your-person" "A nice your-person?" He tilted his head. "You told me yesterday in bed that you can feel like someone is your person because they bring you comfort and make all your problems go away and you feel better just by being in their presence! A nice that-type-of-person." "But I was talking about you!" He pleaded "And now I'm talking about you." "You are my person, what do you mean?" He asked, placing emphasis on "my" "That you're my person too. Am I being unclear?" "No, not at all. I just wanted to hear you say it." "So you tricked me?" You scoffed. "Not really." He leaned closer. "But maybe I set you up and you simply walked into my trap." "So now what? We're just going to sit here in denial over the fact that we both admitted to being each other's person?" You questioned, feeling slightly panicky and picking at your nails. Was this platonic or not? "We don't have to" he grinned. "But to be clear, I'm not talking about you being my person as in my other half, my best friend type person, even though you are that too bit this isn't it." "Are you trying to tell me that you're in love with me?" He tensed up again. Fuck it. "Then just say it, stop confusing me with your riddles and metaphors and I won't do the same. Just tell me-" His hand pressed against the back of your head as he leaned in almost all the way. He caressed the back of your head gently and your gaze dropped to his soft pink lips with the tiny freckle to the side. You leaned in close enough to brush a gentle touch before Taehyung pressed you closer for your lips to finally collide. It started off desperate yet a little shy. You pressed back, grabbing at his sides and the kiss deepened. Your heart was pounding. Never did you expect he'd just go for it and kiss you when you showed some bold courage towards him but you didn’t have a slightest regret because he tasted so good against your mouth. His plump pink lips so passionate, so needy but also so gentle and triggering an explosion in your chest. Taehyung leaned over you, making you lay down on the couch as he crawled on top and it turned into an even wilder heated make out. Your hand tangled into his hair, his hand rubbed against the side of your waist under your top. Fearing it'd be the first, last and only, you wanted every single piece of this moment you could have. Unintentional, his touch triggered a soft moan to escape your throat, which subsequently triggered a groan from Taehyung. Making a sound like that with his voice should be illegal. It did things to you, things you didn't want to confess. But the box of secret confessions was torn open within seconds as Taehyung, a heavy breathing mess suddenly pulled away from your lips and landed by your ear, exhaling deeply. "Fuck, I'm hard." He groaned and you knew the box was flying out the windows with your filthy confession floating aimlessly around for him to hear but all you managed to stutter out was a choked "huh?" "If you knew how long I've wanted you for." He whispered. "How scared I've been of being rejected because I knew it'd shatter me." The hopeless romantic you knew he was made his attendance known. "A friend?" You chuckled. "Maybe I set myself up with that one, I admit. But I was hoping you'd catch on." He chuckled, still breathless. He planted a kiss against your neck. Were you about to have sex? Would it lead to that? Did you mind? Certainly not... Taehyung pushed up slightly, looking down at you. "May I?" You nodded and he smiled widely, pressing a kiss to your lips. Shifting, he easily found his place between your thighs and grinded up against you slowly with pressure, causing both of you to exhale into a sweet needy moan. Your feelings felt scattered all over the place but this wasn't the time to pick them up. You wanted to let go, to surrender, just for this moment. Let go of everything clawing at your back, clouding the sunny skies and draining you. There is nothing more exhausting than smiling pretending everything is ok while whatever inflated issue in beast form is clawing its nails across your back and the scars sting like lemon juice was just rubbed all over you, feeling disgusting and sticky, let alone in pain and with a sore back from the held tension. He grinded again, sensually this time as the tip of his nose travelled up your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. "Mmm" he hummed softly. Your hand made its way to his nape as he settled by your neck. "I could fall asleep here." He chuckled. "Right here in your neck, it's so warm and smells so nice. It's more effective than lavender." "Are you enchanted by my odor?" He laughed his trademark bubble laugh. "I wish you knew how much fun you are." He squeezed you, rubbing up firmer to you with a desperate grunt. "Fuck I can't take it anymore." He stood on his knees, crossing his arms in front of him and grabbing the hem of his sweater, pulling it up and off, exposing his soft skin and toned chest as it fell to the floor. His hand reached for the button on his pants but before making it to the zipper his attention returned back to you with his hands sliding up under your top and pulling it up over your head. "I just want to make sure again... is it ok?" He asked, eyes big. "Yes, touch me, kiss me, do whatever you want just don’t leave the couch. At least not without me." He smirked at this, finally able to surrender to his greed. Taehyung reached for the waistline of your pants, unbuttoning, unzipping and pulling them down your hips with your underwear going off with them. His fingers softly rakes over your skin as he travelled down your legs, your hips lifted to assist him and then they were tossed onto the floor. He reached for his own zipper again but you sat up, quickly swatting his hand away and reaching for it yourself. He was on his knees between your thighs. You pulled them down, sliding your hands over his soft curved hips, revealing his tight fitted boxers with little to any space left for his hard on. You swallowed. He blushed. Relieved that Taehyung took over the lead again you lied back down as his hands gently pushed you back, slipping the bra straps off your shoulders and reaching behind you to unhook and free you from your final piece of clothing. But with this one he wasn't in a rush. He slowly tugged at the lacey fabric, revealing your chest to him as he bit his lip. "Wow." He mumbled and his patience was gone. One hand grabbed your left boob, feeling it and squeezing it softly as the other slipped into his boxer to touch himself. He whimpered, seemingly trembling as a result of his desperation and the discomfort he must be feeling in those tight pair of... he let go of your boob, quickly pulling his boxers down and himself out. You felt your core twist and ache and his boxers joined the pile of clothes on the floor. Taehyung fell forward onto all fours on top of you. Fully exposed, fully erect and a full sight to take in in the dim light in the dark. Distracted and eyes travelling all over him, his hand suddenly cupped your chin, tilting it up for you to face him. His nose graced over yours in a sweet eskimo kiss before his lips, just as gently pressed to yours. Taehyung's hand slid down your neck, your chest and down until he found himself. Your toes curled as you felt his touch where you wanted him the most in this moment, the tip of him slowly sliding up and down your slit, triggering your need even more. Taehyung let out a shaky exhale. His lips were parted and eyes staring right down at your exposed curves. He positioned himself, slowly sliding the tip in, just to feel... just to get some urgent relief... he leaned his head back and his hands landed a tight grip of your waist. He couldn't take it anymore. Slowly and carefully he began to push. Making sure by studying your every expression that he wasn't hurting you and that it felt good. A sweet whimper escaped you, causing him to grin in delight as he pushed in deeper. He was thick... the gentle stretch he caused felt amazing and you couldn't stop yourself from clenching around him, making him moan and managing to make you even wetter just by the sound. With a soft grunt he slipped in all the way. Giving you a moment to adjust to his size, he moved his hand up to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. His touch felt like magic. Like a gentle feather smoothing over your cheek, but slender and strong, with long dainty beautiful fingers. You leaned into his touch. "Does it feel ok?" He whispered. You gave a reassuring nod. He pulled his hips back and thrusted back in, not too soft and not too hard he picked up a slow but deep rhythm for his movements. Your hands felt their way up and across his back, studying every curve and where he naturally flexed as he moved. His hands were firmly holding you in place at the waist, every desperate exhale and every shaky inhale sending almost an ASMR like tingle down your spine via your ear until your name suddenly slipped his lips. Most people feel a fuzzy like feeling inside hearing their proper name be called but this... this was unlike no other time. His deep voice, following a whimper, exhaling your name like a magic spell and it fading into a shiver-causing moan. To put it simply it was the sexiest thing you've ever heard and it activated a whole new part within you that felt foreign but so so so good. Like your blood had suddenly turned into liquid gold, all happy hormones releasing in a firework spelling the world "nothing else matters" in an imaginary sky. You wrapped your arms tighter around him, moaning his name out felt liberating. And it clearly triggered an equal reaction. His cheeks were already flushed and his eyes went wide. He smirked, growing more desperate, fucking your harder and deeper, chasing release. "Please cum for me." He whispered, pleading. "Please." He didn't need to place a formal request, you were already loosing yourself. The only sound echoing in the darkness being the roaring wind and rain along with your breaths and groans and the sound of his hips and your thighs. Wet, heavenly sounds to you. His sweet moans, his broad back, his dick... everything about him made you feel euphoric. The ever building tension below, the sweat forming on his forehead... "I'm gonna cum" he whimpered. Thinking your body couldn't possibly react stronger to him than it already was, it did. The thrusts grew faster, grunts louder and you could feel yourself leak even more. Back arching, tension growing... it felt even tighter now... you could feel him so well, every movement until you suddenly came un-done with a loud whimper to his ear, setting him off into his own orgasm, cumming deep inside with a string of "oh"s and groans, gritting his teeth together and tensing his face in a greedy expression. He slowed down to a halt, remaining inside, breathless on top of you. The light on the sofa table had reached its end and the faint scent of smoke filled the air as the flame went out, making the room completely pitch black. Taehyung's face nuzzled softly against your neck, inhaling the scent of you deeply and being soothed. "Wow." He coughed, followed by a groan. "Wow." You repeated, happy that the light went out so he couldn’t see your flushed face. "You ok?" He whispered, vulnerability present in his voice. "I didn't go to hard right?" "It was amazing." He let out a breath of release and an awkward chuckle. "I'll pull out.." he said shyly, moving his hips back slowly and gently, slipping out. To your surprise, Taehyung climbed off of you, standing on his feet. The cold air made your nipples ache and your skin shiver. You wanted your human blanket and source of heat back. But you didn’t have to wait for long. A pair of strong arms slid in under you, lifting you up with ease. "The sofa is too tiny." He carried you into your bedroom, gently putting you back down on the bed and laying down on his side next to you, pulling you close to his chest where his heart was still pounding hard. He hugged you tight, caressing the back of your head. His lips pressed against the crown of your head gently. "My good girl." He whispered, sounding almost proud. Your cheeks burned and a weird sense to cry bubbled up but you quickly swallowed it and hugged him tighter, burying your face against his chest. Never had you thought being called a good girl, specifically "Taehyung's" good girl would be able to move you to tears. But maybe it's what you needed to hear, mixed with the hormonal serotonin cocktail your body just released upon you. "You'll always have me." He nuzzled his nose in your hair. With a click the power came back on, including your pink hue nightstand lamp next to the bed. Taehyung's cheeks were deeply flushed, amplified by the flattering pink light cast over him. You giggled. Had this really just happened? Because it felt so right. Or was it just the relief of sex? But masturbating had never made you feel this emotional before... You looked up at Taehyung's face again and he smiled softly, his hand caressing your bare back up and down. It was definitely him.

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fortheloveoffanfic · 4 years

Text

Midnight Musing

John Wick x reader (A/n- Another one of those things that i wrote but saved for when I had nothing else.)

Warnings- Some angst, but mostly fluff.

“A road need not be paved in gold to find treasures at its end.” -Alan Brennert

Y/n felt small in John's arms and he could feel the slow rise and fall of her chest, matching the soft sound of her even breathing. The flimsy silk of her nightgown, smooth and soft against his bare stomach and chest, felt almost as fragile as she did, and he could feel the warmth of her breath fanning his neck.

With the exception of a pale yellow glow washing the room through pulled curtains, their bedroom was dark as John sunk deeper into his thoughts. The stroke of midnight had long passed and Y/n had been asleep for no more than a couple hours. She had succumbed to slumber quicker than she usually did when they talked over the phone and John had reckoned that it could have been because he'd done quite a good job at wearing her out after she'd come home from work. Though, Y/n would always argue that she slept better when he shared the bed with her.

It had been nearly a month since they'd last done that; shared a bed. John had been gone on a job in Europe. He had estimated two weeks, but things had gone awry and he’d been forced to stay back until he could get it done. When it was finally over, John had taken the first flight back, intent on surprising his love. And surprise her he did. Y/n was pleasantly stunned, and extremely excited when she’d come home earlier that evening, only to find him in the backyard playing with Dog; haphazardly dropping her bags on the kitchen counter and running out through the open screen door only to leap into his ready arms.

"I missed you," is what she had mumbled, her face buried in the crook of his neck, holding onto him as if her life depended on it.

"I've missed you too princess," John had returned, only pulling away so he could lay a proper kiss on her lips. It had felt like ages since he'd had her lips on his, tasted the undertones of her favorite coffee creamer mixing with something uniquely Y/n, something that always felt so surreal and magical, that John could hardly believe that she was there.

He felt like that a lot. That was how he had been feeling that night too, laying in the dark, their roles reversed as he clung to her for fear life. It wasn't really that John had a hard time believing in Y/n's existence, not really, for a man like him could never be afforded such a singular though. No, it was that he couldn't, for the very life of him, fathom why, out of every man in the world, she'd picked him. What could she have seen in him to make her ignore the monster that resided within and love the lonely, at times broken, man beneath?

John’s eyes glazed over as his troubling thoughts consumed him. Y/n was the nicest person he knew; a kind heart and gentle touch that could still the quickest hearts and ease the worst pains, at least, to him. They had met on an off chance, it had been one of those days where John was reminded that he wasn’t really like everyone else, his life wasn’t normal and that he was a brutal killer walking among men. He had just left the Continental after returning from a job the night before and must have looked like the perfect contradiction; dressed impeccably in his usual suit though with cuts and bruises littering his face. The limp in his step had significantly slowed him and the soreness in his muscles was evident every time he shifted.

Y/n had been walking towards his direction, latte in hand, eyes glued to her phone, trying to solve some work problem or the other; she was a nurse practitioner, but John hadn’t known that yet. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t really see her until they clumsily crashed into each other, her scalding hot coffee drenching his shirt. Y/n had apologized profusely, and John had done his best to reassure her that it was fine. She had even offered to pay for his dry cleaning, but he had politely declined.

That might have been the end of their interaction, until she saw the fresh cuts on his face, worry for a stranger tugging at her pretty features, eventually insisting that he come back to her place so she could make sure he was okay. John conveniently neglected to tell her that the hotel’s doctor had already done that and Y/n couldn’t didn’t even seem bothered that she was inviting a strange man into her apartment.

Three years after that day; Y/n had long moved out from her little apartment in the city and into John’s house, and by then John hardly ever needed the Continental's doctor, not when he had a trained professional waiting for him at home. Home. That was what Y/n had turned his house into; a home that they shared. Formerly plain walls were now lined with pictures they’d taken together on birthdays, anniversaries and vacations. Dresses, navy blue scrubs and other articles of women’s clothing had joined his things in the closet while Y/n had made it her mission to liven their backyard with happy little flowers of varying colors.

John was more than grateful, in fact, he’d often think that there wasn’t a word that was enough to encapsulate just how lucky he was to have Y/n. Even if he couldn’t fathom her reason for staying. How could someone so inherently good, optimistic and pure, love a man as jaded as him? Even after he had come clean about his life, expecting the bloodshed and shear horror of it all to scare her off, Y/n had stayed. Even after she’d seen him at his worst, broken down and frustrated when a target just slipped out of his grasp, she had assured him that it would be okay. Even when he showed up at her apartment, after just six months of dating, clutching his side, bleeding onto her floor, barely able to hold himself up, she had nursed him back to health.

John simply couldn’t get it.

He took lives, and Y/n saved them.

She was like an angel among them and he was the corruption that she let into her life.

John was so far gone that he hadn’t even realized that Y/n had stirred awake, until she called out to him softly, “John?” she whispered, she always whispered in the dark, even when it was just the two of them; she’d once told him that it was because the dark was so quite that speaking loudly might disturb it, “What are you doing up?”

“I, umm...” he trailed off, trying to look at her in the low light. By the grace of the moonlight, he could see that her hair was fanned out on the pillow, lone strands falling over her face, “I was just thinking.”

Y/n craned her head awkwardly, glancing at the alarm clock behind him, “At two am? I think there might be more convenient times for thinking Jonathan,” she teased, “Are you having trouble sleeping?” Her mood sobered when he didn’t quite laugh at her quip.

“I guess,” he shrugged, “It’s just.....” John hesitated, though, eventually asking her anyway, “Do you ever think about why you love me?”

“I...” Y/n hesitated, pushing herself up on her elbow, grazing the fingers of her free hand on John’s cheek. She couldn’t guess what had brought that on, or what he meant for that matter, but she could tell that something was bothering him. John was a man of very few words, even less so when they involved talking about his feelings, but she never needed vocalization to know that he was letting his thoughts get the better of him. It usually came out in the way he held her or looked at her, as if he was hoping she could make it better, soothe his mind the way she’d often heal his body. “What are you talking about?” Y/n furrowed her brows, brushing some of his hair behind his ear, letting her thumb slide over the apple of his cheek.

John dragged his lip through his teeth, seemingly thinking on it for a moment, “I mean, why are you with me? When you could be with someone who’s good, like you, someone who’s not a murderer and who’s job doesn’t put you in danger. How can you love me when I’m everything wrong in your life?”

Y/n stammered, her eyes going wide, her hand finally relaxing, cupping John’s cheek. Emotion tugged at her heart and Y/n worried on her lower lip. She hated that he’d think like that sometimes, like he didn’t deserve her, especially when Y/n knew that John deserved every bit of good in his life. He wasn’t just the Baba Yaga, the Boggyman or the man to fear, in fact, to Y/n, he wasn’t that at all. To her, he was John, the man who’s arms felt like the safest place on earth, the person who worried about her when he was away, risking his life, the love of her life and the man of her dreams. She hated the mere thought of John feeling less as if he was any than that.

Scooting closer, Y/n leaned forward to greet John’s lips with hers, “When are you gonna stop thinking like that, huh?” Even if only by pale light, John could see Y/n’s eyes questioning him, the glassiness of worry sparkling beneath.

Letting his large, work-worn hand skim Y/n’s side, settling in the dip of her waist, John, trying to dismiss her concern, teased; “When I pinch myself and realize that this was all a dream,” probably the best one he’d ever have.

Scoffing, Y/n pinched him on the bicep for purpose, smiling softly when John winced dramatically, “There, I pinched you for both of us; we’re both awake and you need to stop thinking about yourself like that,” Y/n sighed, her frown deepening, the ‘v’ between her brows prominent, “You’re not everything wrong in my life,” she quoted loosely, “In fact, John, you’re the best part of it. My favorite person, the man I love more than anything or anyone else in the world and the only man that I can imagine spending my life with. Why would I ever want to question that?”

“Because I’m-”

“You’re not a monster,” Y/n cut him off, tangling the tips of her fingers in his dark hair as she cupped his cheek, already remedying the bellying sea of worry in his mind. Her touch was cool and comforting, reminding John of the wonder that she was. “You’re a good man, who got dealt a shitty hand. But that doesn’t make you a bad person, and if it does,” she teared up, the words caught in her throat. Sniffling, Y/n continued, “Then I’d still take you over the best of men, because to me, there’s no one better. I wouldn’t trade a second of our time together, in fact, I’d give up anything to have more. John,” she breathed his name, smiling quietly, “You’re not what everyone says you are, what you think you are. You’re so much more than that, and I know sometimes you can’t see in yourself what I see in you, but I’m reminded of it everyday. I love you John. I love you because you’re strong and brave, because you’re determined and have a huge heart, and you’re over-protective sometimes, but it’s cute,” she giggled softly. “My point is you don’t need to be different for me to love you, and you’re not what’s wrong with my life. But you are the only thing that seems right sometimes, and I’m so grateful to have you.”

Blinking back tears that he hadn’t realized were there, John smiled, just enough for Y/n to notice. What did he ever do to deserve her and everything she gave him? John didn’t think he’d ever know. What he did know though, was that he was grateful too. So, so grateful to have an angel in disguise, loving him despite his flaws, to have someone that made letting go seem impossible. “Thank you, I love you,” he whispered, kissing Y/n again, his lips locking with hers in the sweet expression of their love.

“I love you too,” Y/n said against John’s lips, her body flush against his, his soft strands laced with her delicate fingers, his muscled arms keeping her close.

When they broke for air, Y/n’s forehead was pressed to John’s and they laid nose to nose, “Don’t ever leave me,” he pleaded a distinct urgency in his tone as John curled his stocky fingers in her silky tresses.

“Wouldn’t even dream of it,” Y/n reassured him, quick pecks supporting her words.

“Good,” John hummed. He knew that no matter what he though of himself, Y/n would always love him, but suddenly, he needed ultimate assurance. He wanted her to always be with him, always love him. He wanted to always love her too and make sure that she knew it. So, right there, without any prior plans and at two am when most of the rest of the street was sound asleep, blissfully unhampered by his turmoil and haplessly unaffected by her soothing grace, John blurted those two sealing words, not really as a question, more like a pleading statement, “Marry me.”

Without any hesitation, Y/n knew her answer, even if John’s request came seemingly out of no where. It was the same answer she’d have in any other instance. Giggling, Y/n hooked her leg around John’s waist, kissing him passionately, which arguably was an answer in itself. “I’d love to marry you,” she eventually murmured sweetly against his lips, when they had rolled over so Y/n was laying on top of him.

John held onto her tight, feeling her excited heartbeat against his own, her lips working perfectly in tandem with his. It was set, in words that were as sure as stone; Y/n would be his, forever, and he’d be hers.

As they kissed, the grey in his mind seemed to melt away, becoming a problem for another night. John would never know what he’d done to deserve Y/n, and maybe, he might never see the man that she saw, but he did know that as long as she was in his life, everything else was minute. His job was just a job. His pain was just pain. And it had all led him to Y/n, so really, it was worth it.

******

Tagging- @harrisongslimited @magnificentclodpiebanana @keandrews @greenmanalishi

#keanu reeves #john wick #john wick x reader #john wick x you #keanu reeves x you #keanu reeves x reader #john wick fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiic #ff #fanfic #fanfiction #keanu reeves fanfiction #john wick fanfiction #midnight musings #fluff

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

Text

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.85

Keith thought Coran would return to VOLTRON to analyse the book they’d stolen, instead the fae came back to their apartment with them. Sending Lance to shower, his wings had slowly gone away during the drive and his boyfriend seemed exhausted from the effort it’d taken. Changing out his uniform, Keith left a fresh change of clothes for Lance on the bathroom counter before heading into the living area where Coran had his hands full of an excited Kosmo. At the kitchen counter, Shiro was making coffee, Keith relishing the scent of normality after such a crazy night.

Dropping down on the sofa at the opposite end to Coran, Kosmo deserted pats from

Coran in favour of pats from him. His whole body wagging as he climbed into Keith’s lap

“He gets cuter each time I see him”

Keith’s heart swelled with pride. A puppy was a hell of a lot of work. Things were always being chewed and puddles always being left but he loved Kosmo so damn much. His puppy was perfect

“He does. Just mind your shoes, he loves chewing them”

Coran glanced down at his feet

“I’m wearing my shoes”

“Then they’ll be safe. Laces maybe not”

“I’ll have to remember that. Now, once Curtis comes out, and our Lance is done in the shower, we’ll get started”

Keith didn’t know Curtis was there until he shuffled out of Shiro’s bedroom looking sprung. Shiro’d been so fast to comment on their sex life, when he was keeping his boyfriend waiting in his room. As long as they kept it a minimum, Keith couldn’t complain. He wasn’t about to attack his brother for finally being able to start moving on after Adam. Standing near the doorway, Curtis seemed unsure what to do

“Hey, Curtis. Come sit down. Coran’s going to solve the mystery of our little heist tonight”

“Are you sure? I haven’t been invited in on the mission”

Coran brushed it off

“That’s quite alright. The Blades wanted this turned over to them directly, but I think Keith and Lance earned the right to know what this is before them. I can’t trace anything particular about the book. The necklace may hold some clues. And the plaque isn’t particularly important that I can tell”

Curtis came to sit with them, sitting on the coffee table thanks to the lack of seating

“You guys have any trouble?”

To Keith it sounded like Curtis missed being in the field

“If you mean they had to pause the mission to reenact their high school fantasies, then yes”

Keith shot Shiro a glare

“That wasn’t Lance’s fault”

Shiro shooting back

“You know the mission always comes first. No matter the circumstances”

They’d gotten it done. That should be enough

“Yeah. And Lance feels bad enough about it. You don’t need to make him feel any worse”

“Did Lance go into heat again?”

Curtis sounded worried. Yeah. Going into heat wasn’t part of the plan, but with all the adrenaline and fresh blood in his system, he couldn’t help himself

“Only a flash, and we handled it”

“I hope you were careful”

As careful as they could have been. He didn’t need Curtis reminding him that the uniform didn’t come with convenient condoms attached

“I’m not about to knock my boyfriend up mid-mission. Can we like not talk about this when we’ve got more important things to discuss?”

A loud thud and curse interrupted things. Keith placing Kosmo on the sofa as he climbed to his feet. Shiro staring towards the bathroom door

“Is he alright?”

What was Keith, some kind of mind reader?

“I’ll check”

Lance was laying on the bathroom floor, he’d hit his head on the shower door from the look of it. Rubbing the spot, his boyfriend looked up at him as Keith let himself into the bathroom. Keith shouldn’t laugh, but his boyfriend was buck naked and looked confused when he’d very clearly tripped

“Do I want to ask?”

Lance groaned, starting to gather himself up

“I slipped...”

“I can see that. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I felt a bit light headed getting out...”

Lance was a vampire in perfect health, he shouldn’t be feeling light headed

“Let me help get you up. I don’t want you to slip again”

“I’m fine... a bit tired and confused but I’m okay... gimme a minute and I’ll be out”

As Lance went to stand, he slipped again. Keith sighing to himself as he moved to help Lance get up

“Let me do it. You’re going to end up breaking something at this rate”

Shooting him a wobbly smile, Lance leaned heavily against him

“Are you more concerned for me, or the bathroom?”

They both knew he was worrying over Lance

“The bathroom. Obviously. Sit down on the toilet, I’ll get the towel”

Fetching the towel, Keith started drying Lance off. He was like a big puppy, leaning into Keith’s touches as he dried him

“Do you need blood?”

“Nah... I’m tired. Today has been horrendously long”

“How do your hips feel?”

Lance yawned as he nodded, acting like he didn’t have a bump on his forehead

“Fine. I didn’t realise how intense a mission could feel, even one to just steal a Bible and a necklace. I feel really bad about taking the Bible. Next time I take Mami to church I’m going to have a lot to confess”

“Coran’s going to compensate them, and if possible we can try to return the Bible”

“Yeah, but stealing a Bible still feels super bad. Worse than having sex on a teachers desk and nearly getting caught”

“You couldn’t help that. Besides... it was kind of hot”

Lance chuckled at him, closing his eyes and letting his head loll back

“I knew you’d make an excellent teacher. Much better than the ones I had”

“I thought you’d be a model student”

“Not really. Sometimes I’d be up with nightmares and come to school looking like a walking corpse. The teachers didn’t get it and it was hard not being too smart. Plus I was awkward and gangly and Spanish, with hand me downs from my brothers”

“The teachers didn’t like me either. They thought I was too much work. I ran away in my last year”

“At least you tried to stick it out. I know it’s not much now, but I’m proud you made the effort”

Of course Lance was proud. He probably would be still if Keith had told him everything. But that was a conversation for another time

“Are you sure you don’t need blood?”

Lance’s teeth had gone right through his gloves, not that Keith minded. If Lance was hungry, he’d organise something

“I’m okay. I want to know what all this was about... then go to bed. Those wings were weird as fuck”

“They weren’t exactly normal”

“Nope. It’s only happened twice now. I don’t like it. It makes me feel less human”

“I know it does... Thanks for not dropping me”

“If the jump had gone wrong, I would have made sure you’d still landed safely. It took a lot of trust to hold onto me”

Keith’s heart skipped a beat. He trusted Lance. Like really trusted him. Having someone love him the way Lance did... the way he accepted him. It was so painfully needed. They’d been through so much together, and Keith couldn’t think of anyone else he wanted to care for him like how Lance did. With a blush in his cheeks, he tried to play it cool

“I already trust you. Coran’s out there with the book and the necklace. Curtis is here too, he came out of Shiro’s bedroom like he’d caught. Shiro’s made coffee”

Lance yawned again

“You can have mine... I really just want to go to sleep. I feel so drained it’s not funny”

Lance was stumbly, holding onto Keith as they made their way over to the sofa. Sitting down, he pulled his boyfriend into his lap. Lance didn’t seem to mind as he curled into Keith

“That’s an impressive egg you’ve got there”

Lance mumbled at Curtis about “stupid slippery shower floors having it out for innocent vampires”. Keith explaining to the group

“Sorry, he’s sleepy. He slipped getting out the shower”

“Should we be worried about a concussion?”

Keith looked to Coran who shook his head. Curtis had a valid point

“Any damage is already on the mend. He’s had quite the long day. That bad blood in his system would have really knocked him about. Anywhoo. Congratulations on completing your mission. You both did very well...

Shiro snorted. Coran continued

“... in avoiding detection and a need for incapacitation. Let’s take a look here. I’m not sensing anything off the Bible. It seems to be a beloved personal item. Let’s look at the locket”

Keith watched over Lance’s shoulder as Coran lifted the locket. Popping it open, it contained a thick lock of hair bound with a small faded pink ribbon. Nothing exciting at all. Lance mumbled grumpily

“Werewolf stink”

Coran nodded

“Yes, my boy you may be right. No use to anyone really as their are no folicals at the ends and any DNA would have degraded by now... there’s something in the middle here”

Shiro handed out the coffee as Coran went about untying the ribbon, there was a slim tooth inside the hair. The necklace hadn’t seemed thick enough to hold it, but there was no denying it’d all fitted in the slim silver. Handing Keith his cup of coffee, his brother waited for direction’s of what to do with Lance’s. Keith more concerned about how he was going to drink his coffee and cuddle his boyfriend. He needed an extra hand, then he could have the best of both worlds. Coffee and Cuddles

“I’ll drink Lance’s later. What’s the deal with the tooth?”

Coran picked the tooth up, holding it between the pads of his thumb and pointer fingers so he could examine it

“It’s definitely vampire. You can tell by the shape. Lotor’s certainly dumped a mystery on us. We have a monastery that converted to a convent in the late 1800’s. A Bible that is simply a bible as far as I can tell. No more spiritual residue than a teaspoon on that one. And now a silver plated locket with werewolf hair and a vampire tooth... and absolutely no idea what any of this means”

Lance sighed, his boyfriend shifting, conscious of Keith’s precious cup of coffee and Kosmo who wanted to cuddle with his other hooman.

Tiredly, Lance rubbed at his face, before reaching out to take the tooth off Coran

“It was probably the religious practice of putting something pure near something dirty. They believed the purity of the item would cancel out the dirtiness. Vampire and werewolves kind of don’t get much dirtier. Either that or we have a nun who was either a secret hunter, or a vampire having an affair with a werewolf in on sacred dirt. This tooth looks pretty new. Probably pulled out right after it grew back”

Lance passed the tooth back to Coran, Coran nodding at what he’d said

“That does make sense and certainly a possibility. However, I found nothing related between the building and hunting”

“Yeah, but didn’t people used to bring things to churches to be made pure? Whatever it was, the nun has long since passed away. Pass me the Bible”

Passing over the Bible Lance flicked through the pages, failing to tell them what he was thinking as he did. Keith nudged him with his elbow as he brought his cup up to his lips and blew across the surface softly. His boyfriend was doing a hard think

“Babe, not all of us have the memory you do”

Lance hefted a sigh, before holding the Bible up and reading

“There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men”

Riiiiiight. If Lance said so? He was pretty much the only church goer in the group

“Yeah... I still don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Most people think it’s about vampires. Instead of being about greedy people who’d use you up and throw you away. Our nun here didn’t think it important enough to dog ear the page, which I thought she might have if she’d been a hunter. It’s been well loved, and it definitely has charm, but I wouldn’t say it holds any great mystery I can see”

Handing the Bible back to Coran, Coran slipped it into his jacket

“I’m afraid Lotor might simply have been testing your skills. I’ll take these back and take a few readings before we present these to Lotor tomorrow morning. You boys best get your rest. We haven’t any idea what’s he’s planning next”

Lance nodded

“Sounds good to me... Is it rude if I head to bed now? I’m sorry but I’m exhausted”

Patting Lance’s leg, Coran smiled gently

“Get some rest my boy. You and Keith both did a splendid job”

“Minus the sex”

Coran chuckled at Shiro

“You have a lot to learn about heats my young boy. Don’t be too hard on them. They’re very compatible and very in tune with each other. Keith being able to scent Lance is proof of their bond. He’s got a good nose on him for being completely human”

Keith felt like he’d been called a sniffer dog. He didn’t ask to be able to pick up on Lance’s scent and he didn’t always notice until the scent grew too strong not to notice. As Coran climbed up from the sofa, Lance climbed off Keith’s lap

“Take your time, babe. You don’t need to rush your coffee because of me. Night, guys. Sorry I’m too tired to stay up”

After Lance and Coran had parted, Keith fought the urge to follow his boyfriend. Shiro’s expression said he wanted to talk, not that Keith particularly wanted to. His brother sitting down beside him, Curtis took Coran’s vacant spot, pulling Kosmo into his lap as he did. Keith closed his eyes as his brother broke the silence

“Coran’s right. I don’t understand heats. Was it really necessary to break mission like that”

There it was, Curtis replying before he could

“Lance couldn’t help it. His heats aren’t planned, nor are the flashes that come over him. Not to sound crass, but Lance would have only worsened if left unaided”

“But surely he knows how to get through a heat?”

“A heat is a sign his body is fertile. Flashes of heat stem from arousal, fresh blood after bad blood would have left his system off kilter. I suspect the adrenaline in his system, as Keith mentioned, coupled by his body trying to burn through the bad blood resulted in a heat flash as it was. A true heat is very intense, as Keith knows. Lance’s body may be receptive to scents, but the only one he allows to help him is Keith”

Shiro sighed, leaning forward he cupped his hands around his cup of coffee

“I still don’t think I understand”

“As Coran said, Keith is very compatible with Lance. Lance doesn’t intentionally trigger a heat. It’s something that cannot be helped. Like an awkward erection during puberty. He’s levelled out quite a bit when compared to the initial changes in his body. Keith helps keep him anchored. He’s spoken very fondly of Keith, which is quite natural”

Shiro sighed at his boyfriend

“Curtis, you’re doing it again”

“Basically when Lance’s body gets that way, the only comfort is found in release. Being a breeder, he feels safer and relaxes when Keith is...”

Shiro didn’t need the mental images and Keith didn’t need his sex life examined

“Okay. You don’t need to go into detail. Basically, it’s not something you can ignore. He only gets worse if you do and it hurts him physically. Dumbarse used to try sleep it off, and wouldn’t tell me how much it hurt”

Curtis backed him up

“His cramps do get quite bad. When I asked him what they felt like he described at as if you’ve drank two litres of bad milk while you’re horny. He’s doing better now that he’s allowing Keith to help him through them”

Shiro groaned, moving his hands off his cup and burying his face in them

“I thought he just got horny... he’s not a werewolf, so I didn’t think it’d be so bad”

“It’s worse for him as he doesn’t partake in fresh blood”

Keith had seen Lance in heat with and without fresh blood. Fresh blood seemed to give him more energy and stamina to keep up with his body’s demands

“He makes helping him hard... not that I want him feeding on Keith”

Keith appreciated that Shiro was beginning to actually understand that it wasn’t just sex

“Lance’s heat comes in what he calls waves. Mostly he’s okay... after... you know”

“I get the idea. Is he still in heat?”

“Not that I could tell. He really does feel super bad about the mission”

“I won’t bring it up again. You might as well head to bed. I’ll take Kosmo down so he can do his business”

Shiro was nice to offer, but Keith couldn’t push the responsibility of being a fur father onto his brother

“Nah. He’s my puppy. I’ll take responsibility. Maybe next time we can watch a movie or something together?”

Shiro patted his leg

“I’d like that. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m trying to drive Lance off”

Shiro was a seasoned hunter who was used to things running smoothly and being his partner in the field

“You were focused on the mission. I get it. Come on, Kosmo. Let’s go pee then see your other dad”

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid

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a-solitary-marshmallow · 4 years

Text

Please Don’t See Me - Chapter 12

Ford had not been having a good week.

Well, he was using the term ‘week’ loosely, since he wasn’t actually sure how much time had passed. The last few days and nights had been a blur of calculations and experiments and frustration. Ford had been sure that the mutation (or Warping, as he’d mentally dubbed it, for convenience) would be simple to reverse. Theoretically, it should be! But in practice there were so many variables to account for �� not only did he have to know exactly how the physical mutations came about in order to restore living tissue back to its original state with no side effects, but there was the cognitive aspect to consider as well. There was no use restoring Stan to his human form if his mind was still Warped.

The former of the two issues was all but solved. Ford had managed to reverse-engineer the mutation process physically – the insects he had caught and exposed to the Warped crystal fragments, then dunked in hastily-made serum, had returned to their original forms with no permanent physical or genetic alterations. However, they still exhibited behaviour consistent with the Warping and atypical for unaffected members of their species. So even if Ford did try curing his brother Stan still wouldn’t be himself. Most likely Ford would have a wolf freaking out because it suddenly had a human body.

Ford had several pinprick bite marks from the Warped moth that was his last test subject (apparently when exposed to the Warped crystal flecks, moths developed spearhead-like mouthpieces and were unafraid to use them). But since being cured the stubborn insect still held no fear of Ford and had tried (unsuccessfully) to stab him with its now-harmless mouthpiece. That was, until Ford accidentally stepped on it. It wasn’t his fault! Because it was still stuck in a Warped mindset it couldn’t comprehend that its body was once again light enough to fly, so once it had escaped from its jar it had decided to crawl across the floor. Was Ford supposed to watch his every step for stray insects?

In any case, he was left with one part of the equation solved and no idea how to do the rest.

During the standstill in which Ford wasn’t sure where to turn, he had spent some time trying to locate Stan’s car. Stan had mentioned something about his car being around here somewhere and Ford knew it was a shot in the dark but he had to at least try.

He had contacted the local law enforcement department to see if there had been any cars found abandoned around town in the recent months. Luckily they had records of an abandoned car being picked up in the woods some time back. Apparently, since the car had no registration and thus no one registered to own it, it had been sitting idle in the car park of the police station for the past few months. They played cards on the hood. Gravity Falls police were weird.

But when Ford brought the car back to his house (through less-than-legal means) Stan had just looked at it with those dull eyes and then looked back at Ford inquisitively. Of course he didn’t recognise it. He couldn’t even recognise his own name. Ford had been stupid to hope that it would work.

So the car was left parked behind the house while Ford went back to his research. A few things may have been thrown around out of frustration.

Ford had always prided himself on being scientifically-minded, but right now he was strongly resisting the urge to smash things and shout about how it wasn’t fair. Stan shouldn’t just be watching with blank yellow eyes. He should be angry or cheering Ford on or punching him in the face or something. He should be Stan. Instead he was stuck as some animal and the more Ford thought about it, the more he realized that it was his fault.

The wolf that wasn’t quite Ford’s brother anymore didn’t seem to realize that, though. Had instead tried to take care of him, bringing back prey like Ford was a helpless pup, refusing to eat until Ford did, snarling furiously at any trespassing creatures that came near the house. (From the pile of blood and feathers Ford had found outside a while ago it seemed that the griffins from earlier had come back. They didn’t get very close.)

Stan had even tried to help Ford in shifting his ‘gift’, though they seemed to have different ideas of where the deer carcass should go and it had devolved into another tug-of war – which, thankfully, ended with the deer being disposed of. Ford didn’t know he would have done if the thing had made it into his house.

Ford wasn’t sure that he deserved the care and affection. When he’d first realized what was happening he’d been moved to tears.

But that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that even in this state, Stan’s instincts were to take care of Ford over everything. It didn’t matter that the attention was familiar – because for the last few months, even when Ford had no idea, his brother had still been watching over him and dragging him out of trouble. It didn’t matter that this made a lump rise in his throat and filled him with a heavy, itching guilt because Stan had been there for him and Ford had not for many, many years.

No, all that did matter was curing Stan; which led to Ford neglecting the piling-up mail and voice messages on his answering machine in favour of working on a cure.

In hindsight, he really should have listened to those voice messages.

Ford froze mid-step at the scene unfolding before him. The last time he’d seen his parents had been a year ago, the family gathering together to celebrate Shermie and Rebecca’s anniversary back in California. Family never came to Ford’s house. What were they doing here?

“Ford! How ya doin, sweetie?” Ma called out cheerfully as she climbed out of the car. Pa already stood on the beaten dirt path with a cigarette in one hand and a lighter in the other. He spared Ford a gruff nod.

“Ma, Pa.” Ford forced out. “What – what are you doing here?”

“Too busy to pick up the phone, as usual.” Pa muttered. Ma tutted and straightened to fix her hair.

“Lay off ‘im Filbrick, you know how excited our Stanford gets about his work! Ford honey, we called and left a message to tell you we’d be around. Y’see, we were drivin’ down to visit one of yer dad’s old business partners and I thought ‘that’s near where Stanford lives!’ So we decided to stop by for a visit, see how this science gig ‘a yours is goin’.”

Pa lit his cigarette and took a puff – the bitter scent of smoke drifting across the yard made Ford swallow hard. The glasses hid his eyes but Ford was sure that his father’s gaze was fixed on Stan, judging by the way the wolf was bristling defensively. An irrational fear flooded through Ford. Their father had been spitting mad since the science fair, how would he react to seeing Stan again…?

Except Filbrick wouldn’t know that the wolf facing him was his own son.

Still, of all the times to visit, this had to be one of the worst! Ford was unbelievably grateful that Stan’s car was around the back. If their parents saw it they would ask all sorts of questions like ‘where is Stan’ and how was Ford supposed to explain this mess? And to their parents of all people. He clenched his fists as his breathing quickened, trying to force himself to calm down and think rationally. What was he supposed to do? Turn them away? Waste precious time exchanging pleasantries instead of working on curing his brother?

Ford was spared from having to speak because a low snarl rumbled out. Pa stiffened, and Ford was suddenly reminded that it was possible the negative feelings between Stan and their father ran both ways.

Stan slunk in front of him, hackles raised and lips peeled back to display sharp yellow teeth. Pa recoiled from the threat display.

“Stanford, get yer animal down!”

“Oh – I’m sorry – he doesn’t really like people-” Ford stammered out, trying to grab Stan’s fur, but the wolf sidestepped him and slunk closer towards Pa. Ma let out a nervous little squeal.

“That – yer dog’s pretty big, Ford. Looks almost like a wolf.”

“Yes, he, um-”

“Look at you! Yer letting the animal walk all over ya!” Pa glowered at the approaching wolf. He really shouldn’t be doing that, why was he doing that? It was only making Stan more aggressive and that wasn’t good he was dangerous, he didn’t know what he was doing-

If he did know, would he act any differently?

“You oughta teach it who’s boss.” Pa continued. Stan let out another low growl and that was it.

“Rebus! Heel!”

Stan hesitated at Ford’s shout, fur still bristling but no longer stalking forward. Ford strode over to grab a handful of that fur and give him a sharp pull away from their father, thanking any and all deities that his brother actually listened to him like this. Stan reluctantly allowed himself to be pulled back. Ford rushed to stammer out an explanation, not daring to release his hold on the werewolf.

“I’m sorry, Pa. Rebus is a… a wolf-hybrid that I’ve been studying. He’s quite distrustful of strangers.”

“Ya need ta beat that outta him.” Pa said gruffly.

Ma gave a strained chuckle. “Ah, I reckon Stanford knows what’s best here, what with all his research on the thing. But Ford honey, are ya sure he’s safe?”

“Yes, of course, Rebus would never hurt me.” Ford kept on tugging Stan back, the wolf complying with a dissatisfied rumble. “I apologize. I’ve been busy with a project, I didn’t realize I would be having company.” Distract them, shift their attention away from Stan. “I – I have some tea inside, would you like to join me? I’ll put Sta- Rebus in the shed.”

Pa shook his head and stepped forward, rolling up his sleeves. “Lemme show ya how to handle a real dog. Ya keep treating it like that and it’s just gonna keep walking all over you. Ya gotta show it who’s boss.”

“No, Pa, please-” But the man had already strode up and grabbed Stan by the scruff of his neck, reaching the other hand around to grab his muzzle and hold him tight.

Stan reacted.

Ford yelped as he was smacked in the face by an explosion of wolf. He staggered back more from the shock than the pain. Ma let out a shriek. Stan wrenched himself free and snapped at Pa’s hand, which was yanked back and only barely avoided the clashing of teeth.

Pa growled and aimed a kick at Stan’s face, but the wolf bit down on his boot and yanked, sending him sprawling on his back. Stan sprang forward onto the burly man’s chest. Ford jumped in to grab those jaws before Stan could snap down, holding them shut with all the strength he had and ramming his shoulder into the wolf, trying desperately to shove him away.

“Stop it! Get off him!”

It was useless, of course – Ford’s strength was no match for that of a Warped, furious werewolf – but it worked all the same. Stan backed off, shaking his head to free himself from Ford’s hands, eyes wide and fur bristling but looking more confused than enraged now. Ford lifted his hands and placed himself between Stan and their father, who was sitting up and spluttering furiously as Ma rushed to him.

Stan made a move to growl at the man. Ford raised his voice.

“No!”

This time Stan growled at him.

“No.” Ford snapped. Stan had the grace to look ashamed.

There was shuffling behind him as Pa climbed to his feet, muttering under his breath. Ford didn’t dare shift his eyes away from the werewolf as he spoke to his parents.

“I think it would be best if you came back another day. I’ll – I’ll be sure to check my answering machine more often, so I can lock Rebus away in advance the next time you come.”

“Now you listen here, Stanford-”

“Just leave.”

There was more grumbling and cursing, but Ma’s fearful voice finally persuaded Pa to get in the car. Ford didn’t relax until the rumble of its engine had faded into the forest and he was, once again, left alone with his brother. He slumped with a sigh.

“Well. That could have gone better.”

Padding footsteps approached. Ford squinted resentfully at a rather confused-looking Stan.

“Since when was attacking our father a good idea? Sure, I don’t imagine you have many positive feelings towards him…” Ford sighed again and pulled his glasses off to rub them clean on his sleeve. “I suppose he wasn’t exactly friendly, but our father has never been friendly! Surely you remember that?”

Or not, as the case was. Ford huffed to himself.

“Well, in any case, I’m sorry for shouting at you. But I wouldn’t have had to if you didn’t try to turn Pa into a chew toy.” He groaned. “Stanley, what am I going to do with you?”

Stan, evidently accepting that he wasn’t in too much trouble, leaned against Ford’s side. He kept his gaze trained on the road. Stan’s posture was still defensive, as if wary for Pa’s return.

Pa couldn’t have come off as such a threat, could he? Sure he was imposing and struck a generally intimidating figure but he wouldn’t actually hurt them.

Well. That hadn’t always been true for Stan, at least. Ford could still remember the horrible day they’d been playing in their father’s shop and accidentally knocked over an expensive vase. Stan had jumped to claim responsibility and when Ford saw him again that evening, the usually rambunctious boy was sporting several new bruises and sans a tooth.

Maybe Stan still held a wariness of the man since then, even in his wolf form. But that was years ago. Pa hadn’t hit him since then, right?

Ford shook his head to clear it. Like so many things, that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was curing his brother. And Ford still had to figure out how to do that! It wasn’t like he could just show Stan a few pictures and hey presto, his memories and cognitive function would return!

…actually, if Stan had recognised their father, that might be helpful. Ford had been acting under the assumption that Stan had only retained a few recent memories – namely, the memories of living with Ford under the name of Rebus. But if Stan had recognised their father in some aspect it would imply that those older memories were still there, at least in some form. Perhaps, if the memories had only been covered over instead of completely overwritten, they could still be accessed.

Maybe, with just the right mixture of chemicals – Ford could add that to the formula, of course – the subject’s mind would be more elastic. If Ford could manage that then maybe the mind would be able to re-write the Warped neural pathways and restore itself back to its original state, no extra meddling needed. The stimulant would essentially act as a booster shot to jumpstart the process. Theoretically of course, but…

Ford snapped to attention, mind already working a mile a minute at the prospect of a having new approach to investigate.

“Come along, Stan, I need to find more test subjects to work on. Rats have fairly advanced minds, correct? And they shouldn’t grow so large as to be a threat during the Warping process. Not as much as you, anyway. Now, I wonder if there are any in the shed… and please don’t eat them this time if I manage to find any.”

______________________________________________________________________

Brother was chasing Rebus again! It was so much fun darting around the Underground Place, staying just ahead of the reaching hands. Brother was slower and clumsier than Rebus, but he was definitely trying, all red in the face from shouting and running. He was carrying a little vial of something that he seemed very insistent that Rebus have. Ha! Only if Brother could catch him!

Brother cheated by grabbing a sheet off his workbench and throwing it over Rebus. Rebus got lost in the fabric. It forced him to stay still long enough for Brother to get a hold of his fur, voice scolding.

Brother grabbed his jaw. Rebus tried to shake free but the vial was already being upended into his mouth – the bitter liquid made his lips pucker. He whined and tried to back away but Brother clamped a hand over his mouth and nose, forcing him to swallow.

Rebus did, when he had no choice between that and choking. When he got the awful stuff down Brother let him go and Rebus backed away, hacking and sending his packmate a dirty look. Brother didn’t even look ashamed.

Rebus picked up his head to walk away, resolving not to play with a dirty cheater, but – why was the world spinning so much? His legs wouldn’t support him, what with how the floor seemed to be surging up and down. He staggered and collapsed onto his stomach with an oof.

...that wasn’t good.

#gravity falls #my fic #my writing #werewolf stan au #werewolf!stan #chapter 12

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patchwork-panda · 4 years

Text

If A Moment Is All We Are (12/?)

AO3 link: HERE

Note: play the 1st BSD ending when you get to the asterisk (*). Link HERE

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I finally had control of “The Story of Your Life.”

Well, sort of.

More like I used it on purpose for the first time since... middle school? At least I could say it didn’t activate the very instant I touched someone, unlike before, and the side effects were a lot more manageable than they used to be. For one, I hadn’t blacked out, despite the fact that I’d used my powers on two people within two minutes and additionally, it had taken more than one vision to actually make me sick. Maybe with time, I’d be able to learn how to shut off my Ability when I didn’t want to use it. In any case, I still had a long way to go before I could use my Ability as easily as Kunikida or the others could use theirs, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from doing everything I could to help solve the case.

While I had gone home right after the interview and spent the rest of the evening resting and recuperating, Kunikida had gone right back to the office, where he spent the rest of the night putting together a list of people we might be able to bring in. It wasn’t a very long list, but it was pretty good considering the information we had. And so, I came in the next morning to find my schedule completely packed with interviews.

I might not have gotten much out of my meeting with the Tanedas, but now that we had a better idea of how my Ability worked, perhaps we could use it to try to find the killer. The plan was simple: we’d serve tea during the interviews and while I handed someone a cup, I would make sure to do so in a way that meant I’d have to touch them. Even a brush of a fingertip would be enough. Once my Ability was active, I would use it to see several minutes of the person’s future while Kunikida waited beside me with a timer set on his phone. If the noise didn’t wake me, then he would, by tapping me on the shoulder, at which point, I would excuse myself and leave to draw or write down everything I had seen and felt as best as I could. Kunikida would then take over the rest of the interview for me and once the interviewees had left, we’d go over what we had and see if we could make any new connections between victims.

At first, it seemed to be working pretty well. For once, I was actually using my Ability—on purpose—and I was able to remember enough to write down some very detailed descriptions of the visions. However, after multiple interviews and some hours of analysis, we still weren’t able to piece together many similarities between visions. Furthermore, even though I was actively trying to look for faces, to see if there were any suspicious people that kept showing up, no potential suspects appeared. In the end, I got a pretty good idea of what the victims’ day-to-day lives might’ve been like before their disappearances but not much else.

I honestly wanted to keep going until we got something but as the day wore on, the side effects from using my Ability slowly began to worsen. At first it was just a mild headache, nowhere near as bad as it had been last night, and I thought if I just took breaks between interviews, I would “reset” and be ready to go by the time the next person came in. Unfortunately that was not the case. Repeated usage of my Ability seemed to compound the side effects, making them worse with each vision I saw. Eventually I ended up experiencing enough dizziness and disorientation that Dr. Yosano was called over to check if I really was anemic. Turns out, I was physically healthy(-ish), but I was looking so green after the sixth or seventh (I’d seriously lost track) set of interviews that I came back from the bathroom to find somebody waiting for me at my desk with a cup of hot ginger tea.

It was the clerk I’d seen before, the lady with the pink glasses. She was composed and intelligent-looking, with olive green eyes and short brown hair that curled just past her shoulders and she seemed to be only a few years older than me. From what I recalled from orientation, her name was Haruno Kirako and she was the lead clerk as well as President Fukuzawa’s acting personal assistant. Kirako held out the tea to me with a warm, friendly smile, which I took from her with a small, grateful bob of my head.

“Haruno-san...? Does the President need something from me?”

She shook her head.

“There’s been a small change to your afternoon schedule,” she said, looking slightly apologetic as she spoke. “Using your Ability seems to take more of a toll on you than expected, so Yosano-sensei and Kunikida-san asked me to take you to the clerk room to work with us for the rest of the day.”

“Huh?”

I looked back to Kunikida’s desk, which was now empty.

“But, what about the other interviews...?”

“Your last two interviews have been rescheduled for tomorrow,” Haruno said gently. “And if you’re looking for Kunikida-san, he went back to the police station to exchange some information with them. He’ll be back by the end of the day.”

“I see...”

I stared down into the cup of ginger tea, at my own glum expression.

I was really hoping to last the day too, especially after I’d embarrassed myself by throwing up in front of Kunikida last night. Now how was I going to redeem myself?

“Kusunoki-san?”

Haruno placed a hand on my shoulder and shot me a look.

“Before he left, I heard Kunikida-san say he was planning to (and I quote) work you to the bone tomorrow, especially if neither of you figures something out by the end of today,” she said, making a face. “I think you really should take the break, or you might just collapse from overwork later.”

Wait... Does that mean Kunikida still believes in me...?

“Really?” I exclaimed excitedly, “he said that?”

Looking disturbed by my apparent enthusiasm, Haruno nodded.

I still had a shot...! I could still turn this case around!

“Thank you so much, Haruno-san!”

I finished the rest of my tea in one gulp and turned to her with an enormous smile. Haruno shrank back a little.

“Lead the way!”

The ginger tea did the trick. In just a few minutes, my nausea was basically gone and I was doing so well that I was able to file papers and run small office errands with the other clerk girls while we chatted away. Then, with about an hour left on the clock, Tanizaki’s younger sister, Naomi, dropped by with bubble tea and productivity dropped to near zero as we clustered around Haruno’s workstation to take our share. Even Haruno stopped being able to focus and as she pulled out her phone to show us her cat, Mii-chan, Naomi plopped down next to me.

“Kyou-chan?”

Naomi scooted forward a little and I was once again struck by how pretty she was and how little of a resemblance she bore to her redheaded brother.

“Which do you like better? Cats or dogs?”

I had to think for a minute.

“Dogs,” I decided to a chorus of disappointed moans and a few excitable cheers. “They’re always so happy to see you and it’s easy to tell when they like you.”

“Hmm, is that so?” a familiar male voice mused behind me. “I don’t really like dogs that much but if that’s what you like about them...”

I turned around to see Dazai standing behind me, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he studied me.

“I can make it easier for you to tell how much I like you. After all, I’m always happy to see you—”

“Do you need something from me, Dazai-san?”

He looked disappointed.

“You have someone waiting to talk to you at the client booth,” he said, to my surprise.

“I thought my afternoon meetings were canceled?”

Dazai shrugged.

“She said she needed to talk to you no matter what. Mind coming with me for a moment?”

I bid the girls goodbye and followed Dazai back into the main office. As we crossed the room, Dazai shot me a furtive look over his shoulder.

“Hey, if I bring you bubble tea, will you let me call you Kyou-chan too?”

“No.”

“Aw, why not?”

“Because Naomi-chan and Kirako-san aren’t going to use it to entice me into a double suicide.”

Dazai chuckled.

“You got me there...”

We arrived at the interview booth and to my shock, the old manager from the convenience store was waiting for me inside.

“Obaa-san! What brings you here? Isn’t it work hours?”

At once, I gestured for her to sit down while I ran out to get her some tea. When I came back to the client booth, I noticed Dazai was still lingering in the corner of the room, watching us with his bandaged arms crossed and a thoughtful look in his clear brown eyes. Unfortunately, when I tried to shoo him away, he didn’t budge.

“I don’t mean to trouble you at work, dear,” the old woman said, “But I just wanted to come by and thank you for working so hard on Mei-chan’s behalf.”

“Of course...”

At the mention of her name, Mei’s image appeared in my mind’s eye. I could still see her walking around with a big smile on her face as she stacked a new shipment of snacks onto the highest shelf that no one else could reach...

The manager reached down into the plastic bag she’d brought with her.

“I know you liked the Kit-Kats so I thought I’d bring the office a small box, as thanks...”

As she brought the small box forward with her softly speckled hands, I knew what I had to do. I didn’t have time to prepare an alarm or anything else to wake myself up but I couldn’t pass this up. I reached out to take the box and in a flash, I was pulled in.

I squint up at the mid-day sun. It’s hot. I’m fanning myself with the paper fan and I’m walking along the river on the way to my convenience store.

That Mei girl better show up on time today. Summer meant more people trying to duck into the cool shade of the convenience store and with Mei heading the counter, we were sure to make a good amount in sales. She recovered rather quickly from her ordeal, although I suspect she’s been throwing herself into work and staying late to avoid walking home again, poor thing.

If only she had a boyfriend... I could introduce her to my neighbor. He seems to be doing well at work and it’s getting to be around that time he settles down anyway...

I walk towards the rec center just as Mei jogs down the street towards me from that building. Her hair is dyed with blond streaks and she’s still wearing that strange-looking scrunchy in her hair like on the night she disappeared—

The vision fades. I’m being pulled backwards out of a dark tunnel—no, the tunnel is collapsing around me. I see light...!!

I was yanked out of the darkness with a sharp gasp.

Someone’s hands were placed firmly over mine, long fingers gripping the edge of the box while the palms were still in contact with my skin. Warm breath floated over my cheek and I turned to see Dazai’s face right next to mine. He must have come up from behind and leaned over to grab the box before I could drop it—and by doing so, he’d disrupted the vision. As the cardboard began slipping out of my hands, Dazai’s hands passed smoothly over mine and he took the box from me.

“Careful,” he said gently, settling the box down on the table. “You almost dropped it.”

I smiled back at him, hoping my gratitude showed in my smile.

If he hadn’t pulled me out of that vision, who knows what would’ve happened?

“Thank you, Dazai-san. My apologies, Obaa-san. I have... narcolepsy.”

“Oh? Is that so?” the old woman asked as Dazai abruptly stifled a snicker from behind me. I shot him a glare but he just winked at me.

“Y-yeah. Thank you for the snacks. I’m sorry to leave you so abruptly but—”

I got to my feet.

“I have a lead I need to follow up on. Right now.”

And with that, I sprinted out of the client booth, leaving the shocked manager behind in my wake. I could hear Dazai calling after me as I ran for the door.

“Wait, Kusunoki—!”

“I gotta go!” I shouted as I ran, nearly colliding with Atsushi as I disappeared through the front door.

“I think I know where the kidnapper is!”

Thank God I’d worn sneakers today, I thought as I pelted down the hall. In hindsight, maybe it was actually a good thing that I’d gotten sick in front of Kunikida last night; he hadn’t complained when I came in to work this morning wearing track pants and a loose shirt. I dashed outside just as the bus arrived across the street and the pedestrian light turned green.

“Hold the door!”

I skidded to a halt inside the bus just before the doors closed, my head buzzing for the entirety of the short ride and as soon as I’d gotten to the right stop, I ran for the exit and rushed down the street.

I’d been focusing on the wrong thing this whole time—while I was looking at the faces in the visions, trying to see if there were any people that showed up over and over again, I’d completely ignored any similar locations—until now!

I sprinted past the convenience store and made a sharp left up the street towards the rec center I’d seen in the manager’s vision.

That rec center...! I’d seen it twice now in the future memories of those closest to the victims. Mr. Taneda would later walk past it as he threw that flower into the man-made river and that river had flowed past the rec center and into the canal where we’d found Mayu.

Why hadn’t I or any of the police put any of this together sooner? All of the missing were athletic. They may have come from different districts and this rec center may have been very out of the way but it was big—so big it had to have courts available for every kind of sport. Furthermore, it was close to the train station by the convenience store and would’ve been ideal for meeting up with friends from across Yokohama. Mei, who lived nearby, only had to get on this bus and then take a quick jog along the river to get to that rec center.

And I had just seen this part of Mei’s jogging route through the eyes of the convenience store manager.

I raced along the river, towards the rec center. I’d never been there in my life but I had seen it through the eyes of others who had. I knew the way and if this worked, it should lead to a future where Mei, and perhaps the others, would still be alive in the summer.

Unfortunately, I’d overestimated the distance I could run; the rec center was a large building and so was much further than it actually looked. I could feel my legs starting to burn...

Gasping for air, I headed for a bench nearby and immediately collapsed on it.

In hindsight, I really hadn’t thought this through. I’d gone running the instant I’d made the connection between the rec center and the victims and I’d completely forgotten to tell anybody where I was going. Maybe Dazai had figured it out but should I be leaving it to him to brief Kunikida, who was probably back from the police station by now and furious at how I’d run off to look for a serial killer by myself?

Groaning a little, I pulled out my phone, which had miraculously not fallen out of my pocket, and swore when I saw the words “low battery” appearing on the screen.

Great.

I could probably send out a text but would my phone die if Kunikida called me? Guess there was only one thing to do. I pulled up the text app and started typing up a message that looked like it had been translated from Morse Code.

“Meet at rec center. Low battery. Do not call. I’ll explain later.”

“I really need to work out more...” I groaned as I shoved my phone back into my pocket.

I was so busy texting l that I didn’t see the man sitting on the other end of the bench with me.

“Not much of a runner, are you?” he asked and I practically fell off the bench in shock. He laughed quietly as I climbed back on the bench, my face still pink and my lungs still short of breath.

“Sorry to scare you,” he mumbled.

“N-no, it’s okay. I wasn’t paying attention,” I admitted.

His face was rather hard to see because of the long bangs that ended somewhere around his nose but he looked like he was probably in his thirties and that he hadn’t shaved in a few days. Like me, he was wearing track pants and sneakers but unlike me, he wasn’t all sweaty and gross; in fact, he didn’t look like he’d gotten up from this bench in some time. Maybe he was taking a rest.

“Were you jogging too?” I asked curiously.

“A little,” he said, looking out across the river. “I like to come here sometimes. It’s peaceful.”

I nodded as I sat up a little and examined my surroundings, trying to spot the rec center in the distance. I was pretty far away from the bus stop, so I had to be getting close enough to actually see the building soon, right...?

Noticing that I was looking around, the man spoke up again.

“Are you lost? Looking for something?”

“Not really?” I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. “I mean, I kind of know where I’m going...”

When he looked at me questioningly, I wiped my forehead and grinned awkwardly.

“Okay, I’m actually trying to get to the rec center. A friend of mine likes to play volleyball there and she said I should check it out if I ever wanted to join her.”

The man in the track pants nodded.

“I know the place. I actually go there a lot too. It should just be half a kilometer down that way, around the bend.”

As he lifted his arm up and pointed down the street to his left, I saw a flash of bright orange. There was a scrunchy on the man’s wrist, a bright orange one that was covered in colorful bows and pom-poms. Catching me staring, the man instantly stuffed his hand back into his pocket.

“Oh, this?” he chuckled feebly. “It actually belongs to my girlfriend but I carry it around when I’m missing her. I know, it’s silly isn’t it?”

“No, not at all!” I exclaimed, waving my hands.

I could feel a chill creeping into my blood as I looked at the man a little more closely. There was definitely something weird about this guy. Why was he sitting on this bench in track clothes when he clearly wasn’t out here for a run? Why not rest directly inside the rec center where there were sure to be lockers and showers and seating areas? And why was he sitting here, so close to the rec center, wearing a scrunchy that looked identical to Mei’s? Was he waiting for someone? Or worse... scanning the streets for a new victim?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized something was off about the way he was acting. He didn’t seem so strange at first but the moment I’d spotted the scrunchy, he’d gotten all shifty and wouldn’t look at me. Something told me he wasn’t dating one of Mei’s teammates and I had the horrible sinking feeling in my gut that the scrunchy on his wrist really was Mei’s.

I should talk to him so I could find out more...

“I...” I started. “I think it’s sweet that you’re so dedicated to your girlfriend.”

He twitched—noticeably—and I realized I might’ve been acting too friendly for a complete stranger. However, he hadn’t moved away from me, so I decided to push my luck and scoot down the bench, moving a little closer so I could try to get a better look at his face. Hopefully, Kunikida had gotten my short text from earlier and was already on his way...

“You do, huh?” the disheveled man mumbled, one dark eye peeking through the curtains of black, lanky hair to closely examine me.

“Yes, I really do,” said, hoping I sounded sincere. “My boyfriend works too much and he never has time for me any more..."

Hoping my facial expression didn’t give away the lie, I smiled a little and moved a tiny bit closer. He had cuts on his face, but not from a razor; there were a couple small scratches on his left cheek, looking like they were just a few days old. I glanced at his hands—too big to have made such scratches. That meant he’d gotten into a fight with someone who had smaller hands than he did...

Fighting off a shudder, I kept talking.

“Maybe I should give him one of my hair ties so he’ll think of me more...” I tried to laugh.

But the laugh died in my throat the instant I saw the look in the man’s eyes. Not even Akutagawa had looked at me with that level of hostility. There was no doubt about it—he was the one who killed Taneda Mayu. I swallowed and out of instinct, began shrinking away. I couldn’t tell if it was my phone buzzing in my pocket or if I had just started shaking.

“Your boyfriend doesn’t pay attention to you?” the man asked, his voice dropping low, the disgust evident in his tone. “If he doesn’t care about you, you should just break up with him. Find someone better.”

I felt a subtle vibration in my pocket—my phone was definitely buzzing but who was calling? Dazai? Kunikida? Was one of my mentors coming to help me? If they were, I needed to let them know what my current situation was—somehow.

I kept my face as neutral as I could and slowly reached for my device. If I answered it, someone’s voice might startle this man into running, and given the difference in our stride length, I was not going to be able to catch up if he escaped. Maybe I could press the right button at the right time, so that whoever was on the other end of the line would be able to hear us and figure out what was happening. Was there some way to get this man to shout...?

The phone buzzed more insistently in my pocket and I pushed “answer,” moving my cell so the receiver was sticking out of my pocket a little.

“B-break up?” I asked, making sure my voice sounded clear even as my pulse raced. I pulled my phone up even further out of my pocket.

Please don’t let my battery die...

“But I’ve never had a boyfriend before and it’s so hard to meet people these days...”

But as I trailed off at last, the man suddenly looked infuriated.

“Hard to meet people?!” he snapped, “With a face like yours?”

To my alarm, he got off the bench. He turned to me and started shouting.

“Pretty girls like you make me sick! You only see the good-looking guys, the ones everyone is already chasing! If girls like you only took a proper look around, you might see that there’s been someone who’s always been waiting for you, worshiping your every move—someone you’ve ignored for years.”

He started walking away and the moment he turned his back, I sprang to my feet. There wasn’t enough time for Dazai or Kunikida to get here.

I couldn’t let him get away!

I rushed forward and chased after him, reaching forward with my hand.

“—Why don’t you take a good look around you before you start complaining,” he snapped, flinging his hand out in an irritated gesture as I stretched out my fingers, “You entitled little—!”

My hand clamped around the man’s wrist, just beneath the scrunchy and at once, I felt the pull. The street started compressing around me into that now-familiar darkness that signaled the start of a vision and I felt the mouth of that darkened tunnel stretch open to swallow me up. I gritted my teeth and tried to force the tunnel away.

But while I was struggling to prevent my Ability from activating, the man noticed I was holding on to his arm.

“What the...?”

He tried to shake me off but I wouldn’t let go. In the struggle, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit the sidewalk with a clatter. A man’s voice came out of the speaker.

“Kusunoki?” it crackled from the other end. “Is that you? Hold—”

The phone abruptly died just as I put my other hand on the man’s wrist. My vision was fading to black and the man was trying to grab his wrist back again but I held on tight.

“Let go of me...!” he shouted.

I had to fight it—I had to suppress my Ability.

President Fukuzawa said I should have control of it by now. If I truly had control, then shouldn’t I be able to turn it off...?

I held on tighter, my fingers squeezing around the man’s wrist as I continued to fight my Ability. Backup was coming. All I had to do was keep him here until someone arrived and trust they would be here soon. Lives—maybe even my life—depended on it.

I gritted my teeth and continued to concentrate with all my might to stay in the moment and keep my Ability at bay, even as my dizziness threatened to overwhelm me and I saw the man ready a fist. He raised it above my head...

“I said let go, you little—”

CRACK.

The man’s wrist was wrenched out of my grasp and I opened my eyes to see a body in track pants go flying, propelled through the air by the force of a very solid roundhouse kick. As the dust settled and the man landed on the sidewalk a good distance away, I turned around to see who had saved me.

Standing right behind me, with one long leg still half-raised in the air, was Kunikida Doppo. He was panting with exertion and with his long blonde hair all mussed up and the red ribbon around his neck coming untied, he looked angrier than ever—but in that moment, I was so happy to see him that I wouldn’t have minded being kicked myself if it meant I could throw my arms around his neck.

“Kusunoki!!”

His sharp green eyes blazing with undisguised rage, Kunikida shoved his glasses back up his nose and stalked towards me. Behind him, a bright yellow taxi (the one he’d just taken) peeled away down the street.

“Why the hell didn’t you wait for me?! I ran into Dazai two minutes after you left—two!!—and he said you figured out where the killer would be and that you’d gone out to go and look for him—by yourself!”

He threw his arms into the air in disbelief.

“When I asked him why he didn’t go after you, that asshole said you wouldn’t answer any of his calls! What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Kunikida-san!”

I pointed down the street at the man in the tracksuit, who was slowly getting to his knees.

“It was him! He kidnapped Mei-chan! Her scrunchy is still tied around his wrist!”

And then I spotted a glint of silver on the ground. I rushed over to retrieve it as Kunikida called my name and yelled at me to come back.

“And this!! This belonged to Taneda Mayu-san!” I exclaimed as I scooped it up in my hands. “It was in the photo her parents showed us!!”

“That’s senpai’s...” the man on the ground rasped, clutching his broken, bloody nose as he rose to his feet. “Get your filthy hands off it...”

At once, Kunikida’s face darkened.

“Excuse me?” he growled, stepping forward.

I watched as Kunikida strode past me and grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt.

“You have some nerve calling a member of the Armed Detective Agency filthy.”

As he lifted the man into the air, Kunikida gave him a good, hard look.

“Senpai, huh?” he said in an undertone. “Aren’t you a little old to be calling a twenty-eight year old ‘senpai?’”

***

The streets were bathed in red and blue from the flashing lights of the police cars. Under the light of the setting sun, the man in the track pants was yelling loud enough for all passersby to hear as the cops shoved him into the back of one of the police vehicles, yelling about the problems girls these days had (“those entitled bitches who don’t know what’s good for them—!”). I let out a sigh of relief as the cops slammed the door shut on his face and took him away for good and I went back to the bench, promptly collapsing on it in a heap.

As the sound of sirens slowly faded away, Kunikida approached me and sat down at my side on the bench, taking care to avoid the spot where I’d mentioned the kidnapper had been sitting.

“He made a full confession,” Kunikida said, tucking his hands into his pockets and crossing his legs. “In fact, with the way he was yelling, I wouldn’t be surprised if all of Yokohama heard what he’d done already.”

He sighed.

“You were right—he did kidnap Saeki and the others and in fact, he’s been hunting women at this rec center for months, specifically targeting those who reminded him of a girl he once loved. From the sound of it, she was a pretty upperclassman who rejected his advances all the way back in high school...”

I drew my knees up to my chest and stared out into the river.

“What a long time to hold a grudge,” I mumbled. “And taking it out on complete strangers too. How twisted...”

Kunikida nodded solemnly.

“The good news is, it seems Saeki and the others are still alive. It won’t be long before the Military Police arrive at his hideout and rescue them. Thanks to you, everyone should be able to go home to their families tonight.”

“Everyone except Taneda Mayu,” I whispered, letting my forehead rest against my knees. Mayu’s bracelet had been taken by the police as evidence and I knew that sooner or later, it would find its way to the shrine her parents had set up for her. If only she too, would return alive as the other victims would.

“How are the Tanedas doing?”

Kunikida grew quiet.

“As well as can be expected,” he said softly, looking out across the river with me. “At the very least, they’ll have closure now.”

I nodded.

For a moment, we just sat there next to each other on the bench, staring quietly at the water, each lost in our own thoughts. It had been at least a full thirty minutes since my confrontation with the murderer but the adrenaline had not yet faded from my system and I was still feeling weirdly dizzy and shaky—probably a side effect from suppressing my powers. I hugged my knees tighter to my chest as Kunikida slowly pulled out his notebook and started writing.

“The work day may be over,” he said, “but the office is still open. When you’re ready, we should head back. You’ll need to type up a report describing the arrest and how you came to identify this man and then give it to Haruno-san. She’ll make the redacted copy that we’ll be turning over to the Military Police tomorrow morning, striking out anything relevant to your visions so we can maintain the secret. And, speaking of your Ability...”

He closed the notebook and looked at me, his brows furrowing in concern.

“I know using it takes a toll on you. Are you alright?”

Turning to look at him, I offered him a shaky smile. The dizziness was fading rapidly but, not wanting to puke in front of him for the second day in a row, I didn’t lift my head from my knees.

“I’m fine. And it’s all thanks to you, Kunikida-san.”

My smile faltered.

“I... I’m sorry,” I mumbled, my voice cracking a little. “I’ve only just joined the Agency but I’ve put you through so much trouble already. I feel like you keep having to save me.”

I hid my face behind my knees again.

“I didn’t mean to run off without talking to you earlier. I just... I knew what I had to do and where I needed to go and I didn’t want to waste any more time. Not when there were lives that could be saved... Not when there was still a chance I could bring Mei-chan back to her friends and family...”

I sighed heavily as I heard the scratching of Kunikida’s pen against his notebook once again.

“You’re writing me up for this, aren’t you?”

There was a long pause. The pen stopped scratching. And then I heard Kunikida sigh as well.

“I’m not writing you up, Kusunoki-kun.”

Surprised, I lifted my head up off my knees and turned to look at Kunikida, who was sliding his notebook back into his vest with a pensive, almost guilty looking expression on his face.

“And despite what you might think, I’m not mad at you either,” he mumbled, rubbing his temples with one large hand. “But I can see why you think I am. I know what my coworkers think of me. What you must think of me after we’ve worked together so closely for the past several days.”

He ticked off a short, succinct list on his long fingers.

“I’m quick to anger, a stickler for the rules, a man far too rigid and unyielding for his own good who cares for nothing but doing right by his own ideals.”

He grimaced as he stared down at his own hand.

“I hate to admit it but you’re not completely wrong. However, I’m like this for a reason.”

He turned to me.

“Kusunoki-kun, do you know why I’ve been so harsh on you?”

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked away.

“Because if you didn’t whip me into shape, I’d let people die—”

“That’s not it.”

I froze.

He sounded... frustrated? And not in the usual way.

Unsure of what I was hearing, I slowly turned to look at him. There was something different about Kunikida in this moment—something I’d never seen before. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear I was seeing something like affection in the depths of his eyes. But that couldn’t be right... could it?

“It’s because I know what you’re capable of,” Kunikida said quietly. “I saw what happened earlier. You suppressed your Ability, didn’t you?”

I was taken aback.

“You noticed?” I asked, as Kunikida nodded.

“Do you know why I vouched for you in the first place and asked the President to give you the test?”

I shook my head.

“It was your ideal,” Kunikida stated plainly. “When you told me that you not only wanted to save people, but follow through and see their salvation to the very end, I was moved. ‘To completely save a person...’ What did that mean? I thought about it for a long time after you left. I thought about a lot of things after you left.”

He lowered his eyes and stared into the river.

“I thought about how you’d rushed back into the gallery to save me when you were the one who was supposed to be saved. And then, during your Exam, when we were putting your convictions to the test, I watched from the sidelines as you finally stopped running and turned around to face your challenges head-on. I knew then that you were a capable person who could make the Agency proud—who could go on to do great things someday, so long as you believe in yourself. And today...”

Kunikida slowly turned towards me. His expression seemed to soften in the pleasant, orange light of the setting sun and his sage-colored eyes glowed with a subtle, tender warmth as he firmly held my gaze.

Kunikida smiled.

“Today, you proved me right,” he said, clapping me on the shoulder. “I’m proud of you... Kusunoki-kun.”

Upon hearing his words, I felt my heart stutter in my chest. I suddenly wanted to reach up and place my hand over his.

Had I ever seen him smile like this before...?

“Kunikida-san...”

Checking his watch, Kunikida took his hand off my shoulder and stood to go, leaving my shoulder warm and tingling in the wake of his touch.

“You did well today,” he said, looking back down at me from his considerable height, “but make sure to keep working to improve yourself and your Ability. The cases will only get more difficult from here on out and I expect to see you rise to the challenge.”

He adjusted his glasses and began walking away.

“Now, come on. We’re heading back.”

* As I got up and began following him back up the street, I suddenly found myself unable to walk too closely beside him, all too conscious of his broad shoulders and tall stature. My shoulder still burned where he’d touched me and when Kunikida looked back at me, to make sure I was still following along, I couldn’t help but flush the moment his eyes met mine. There was a strange, budding warmth in my chest and the more I looked at my mentor, the more I couldn’t help wondering why I’d never noticed how handsome he was...

It couldn’t be...

Was I falling for him?

#Bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #kunikida x reader #kunikida doppo #dazai osamu

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tournesolia · 5 years

Text

Chaos Lineage Azusa Euphoria Ending Translation

Scene change : Secret room – Interior lights

Yui : (… Where am I... ?)

(Why my body feels light ? It's as if I'm floating...)

Socrates : So even though you worked hard to come this far, this is again a failure ?

Yui : (Eh... ? Where does this voice come from...?)

Socrates : With this, the experiment is stagnating again...

Yui : Experiment... ?

Socrates : … Eve, huh. It seems only your consciousness crawled out of the miniature garden. This is also a rare thing

Yui : Miniature garden... ? What exactly are you talking about ?

Socrates : The miniature garden is a fake space where you're all living. I created it and sent you here

Yui : You ? You're the one who made us fight in this place ?

Socrates : That's right

Yui : … ! Why are you doing such a terrible thing... ?

Socrates : To confirm the love between Adam and Eve. And for this, the trial ground is this miniature garden

The candidates fight over Eve to become the supreme ruler. This supreme ruler is, in other words, Adam. I wanted to find out who would take the throne

Yui : You did this to find out who will become Adam... ?

Socrates : Therefore, in order to create a fair situation, I separated the brothers, who are the foundation, and eliminated their memories regarding Adam and Eve

Yui : No way, so Azusa-kun's artificial left arm attached to him...

Socrates : It was a complement to make everything equal, and also for experiment

Yui : For experiment... ? You made everyone fighting each other to the death multiple times for that !?

(I blamed myself every times I saw everyone hurting each other again and again...)

(And Azusa-kun was always and always suffering !)

Socrates : … It wasn't my intention to repeat the experiment. I want to see the conclusion

Yui : Eh... ? But you kept repeating this fight again and again...

Socrates : Because at the end of the experiment, no one was able to reach the throne

In the first round, all the Adam candidates fell over

Yui : … !

Socrates : Therefore, I treated their wounds, rewritten their memories and started over from the first day

Yui : Eh... ? So you're the one who... saved everyone in that state ?

(He restarted over. That disastrous end was...)

Socrates : I only want to find out who will become Adam. It would defeat the purpose if they all die

However... The troublesome thing is that, for some reason, the battle stagnates after a certain period of time

It can't be helped, I will keep repeating it over and over again

Yui : No way ! If you stop the experiment and let everyone out of here... !

Socrates : That's impossible. If I cancel it without the appropriate trigger, who knows what kind of impact it will cause

That is not what I wish for either

Yui : Then... What should I do ? How can I rescue everyone from this miniature garden... ?

Socrates : I'm convinced about it this time. The main cause behind the stagnation of my experiment is--

Azusa and Eve... It's you two

Yui : Me and... Azusa-kun... ?

Socrates : Azusa, who is an Adam candidate, is too used to endure things. Therefore, he endures them alone

And Eve keeps looking away from her memories of the past battles. Therefore, she can't get closer to Adam in the true sense of the word

Yui : Looking away... from the battles...

Socrates : This is a trial to unite Adam and Eve

However, their heart stands far out. They will never be able to get out of the miniature garden

Yui : It's our fault...

(That deep red memory... I remembered several times but I looked away from it without knowing)

(I was far from supporting Azusa-kun in that state)

(Azusa-kun was carrying everything alone so I didn't have to remember)

We didn't communicate very well, even though we were trying to understand each other...

Socrates : That's right. As long as you two don't change, you will never be able to get out of the miniature garden

Yui : … I see. If this is what you mean by main cause, we can get out of here

I'll get out of this miniature garden with Azusa-kun... no, with everyone

I definitely won't look away anymore !!

Socrates : I see... If you're prepared for it, let's watch this to the end

*white flash

Yui : (… ! My consciousness is fading--)

Azusa : Eve... Please, come back... Wake up

Yui : (Azusa-kun's calling me)

(It's alright, because... I'm prepared to face the situation properly, now--)

~ EUPHORIA END ~

Place : Church – Hall

Azusa : Eve... Eve... ! Please... Wake up... !

Yui : … Hmm...

A... zusa... kun... ?

Azusa : Ah... You came to... ?

Yui : … I'm sorry...

You have... suffered from all the events that have been repeated, and yet...

I ran away from them...

I wanted to support you... but in truth, I wasn’t supporting you...

Azusa : Don't say that... !

Yui : No. You forgive me because you're kind, but... This is a fact...

I'm really sorry... for until now...

Azusa : You don't have to apologize... Because I have to protect you...

Yui : No... I'm okay, now. I won't let you carry the burden alone

Azusa : Eh... ?

Yui : It wasn't the case until now. If you suffer, I'll suffer with you--

So, let's share it together. The difficulties, the suffering, everything...

… Share your pain with me

Azusa : … Are you really... fine with this ?

Yui : Of course

Azusa : I see... So that was it...

I thought... that I just didn't want you to be sad...

But we have to share. Our joy, sadness, pain, everything...

*Azusa hugs Yui

Azusa : I always... thought about what I should to if I made the wrong choices

But... It's fine now... Wrong choices... don't matter

As long as I'm with you... I can fall even in any hell

Yui : Me too, if I'm with you, I will go anywhere...

Azusa : Hey, Eve... Let's make a promise. We'll share everything from now on...

Close your eyes...

Yui : Okay...

*Yui closes her eyes and Azusa kisses her. Then there's a white flash

Azusa : Eh... ?

*the ground is trembling

Yui : An earthquake ? It's beginning to collapse around us...

Azusa : This is... not the usual rewind...

*the screen turns white

Yui : Kyaaa !

(The surroundings... The room is dissolving !)

Azusa : Eve !

*Azusa catches Yui

Azusa : I absolutely... won't let you go... !

Yui : Yes... !

(Me too... No matter what happens, I won't let you go...!)

Place : Secret room – Interior lights

Yui : … Uuh...

(This place is...?)

Azusa : Eve... !

Yui : Azusa-kun... ! You're safe

Azusa : Yes... The others are safe as well. They're unconscious, though... Carla-san and the others are here as well

Yui : That's true... They're all unconscious

The scenery around us collapsed like it was dissolving, right ? Could it be we...

Socrates : … It seems it ended

Yui : Ah, what is that glowing sphere... ?

(Huh ? That voice just now... I feel like I heard it somewhere)

Azusa : You are... ?

Socrates : My name is Socrates. You are in a room inside the castle of Eden

Azusa : Eden... We returned to the Demon World...

Yui : (We came back... We managed to get out of the miniature garden !)

Azusa-kun !

*Yui hugs Azusa

Azusa : Wah... !

Yui : We're back... !

Azusa : Yes... Yes... !

Yui : Thank godness... With this, no one will have to fight anymore... !

Azusa : Yeah. It didn't repeat either... Everything is fine now

Yui : I'm really glad... !

Socrates : I was able to confirm Adam and Eve's love. This experiment ended with satisfactory results this time

Azusa : Eh... ? You confined everyone inside that place all this time...?

Socrates : Indeed

Azusa : No way...

Yui : (That's right, I had a vague feeling we talked in a dream)

Azusa : I absolutely won't forgive you... for making Eve and everyone else... have a painful time

Yui : Azusa-kun...

Azusa : But it repeated... because of my own weakness...

If I trusted Eve and confessed everything earlier, such a thing wouldn't have happened

Yui : It's also my case. I ran away from my unpleasant memories so my weakness is also the cause...

(I'll never forgive him for this horrible experiment)

(But I understand what he told me in the dream. He saved us, even if it is for whatever reason...)

Azusa : Socrates-san, don't involve everyone ever again. Don't... test us

Socrates : … Alright, I promise

The experiment that was repeated

many times came to an end.

With the events from the miniature garden

firmly engraved into us, we returned back

to our daily lives--

Place : Azusa's room

Yui : Azusa-kun, have you solved the problem I mentioned before ?

Azusa : Yeah. Ruki taught me anything I don't understand

Yui : I see. There's some things I don't understand either... I'll go see Ruki-kun this time as well

Azusa : … Hehe...

Yui : What's the matter ?

Azusa : To think we're able to live peacefully with everyone again...

… Sometimes, I recall that closed world...

At that time, I couldn't see the end... I didn't know what to do...

“I may never be able to laugh with my brothers again”...

It was what I thought...

Yui : Azusa-kun...

Azusa : But it's alright now. Because I won't make any more mistakes...

Yui : … That's right. I won't make mistakes either

Azusa : Yeah...

*Azusa attempts to hug Yui, but...

Azusa : Ah... I have just one arm. And I thought about hugging you...

Yui : Ah...

(That's right. His artificial left arm only existed in the miniature garden)

(He completely got used to it so he must surely feel uncomfortable...)

Azusa : I hated the miniature garden, but... it was convenient to have a left arm...

*door knocking

Kou : Azusa-kun ! Can I come in ?

Azusa : Yeah, go ahead...

*Kou enters with Ruki and Yuma

Kou : Helloooo, Azusa-kun ! And Maso-kitty !

Azusa : You're all here, what's going on... ?

Ruki : We have something to give you

Yuma : Here, take it

Kou : It's a present from us ♪

Azusa : Thank you... But why all of a sudden... ?

Ruki : Just open it

Azusa : O-Okay...

*Azusa opens his present

Azusa : Eh ? This is... an artificial arm ?

Ruki : Tailor-made for you

… We caused you a lot of trouble in that world

Even if I lost my memories, I'm sorry for all the pain I did to you

Yuma : Me too. Sorry

Yui : Yuma-kun...

Yuma : Geez, now that I think about it, I can't believe I was brothers with Shu and Reiji

We returned back to normal thanks to the two of you

Kou : Even though I lost my memories, I was in the same family as you, right ? You should have relied on me

Azusa : S-Sorry...

Kou : … I'm joking. It's just like you to think about us a lot

… Thanks

Azusa : Yeah...

And... Thank you for this. I was just talking about how convenient it was to have a left arm

Yui : Hey, Azusa-kun. Let's try it on now ?

Azusa : Okay...

*Azusa put his artificial left arm on

Azusa : Ah... ! It's properly moving, like that time...

Yui : That's great, Azusa-kun !

Azusa : Yeah... With this, I can hug you again... !

*Azusa hugs Yui

Yui : Ah... !

Azusa : Hehe... You're warm, just as I thought... I'm very happy

Yui : Me too. Besides... I feel relieved when we're like this

Azusa : Is that so... ? Then, let's do it more...

*Azusa hugs her tighter

Yui : (Hm... It hurts a little, but... I can feel Azusa-kun next to me...)

Azusa : … Hey, Eve. A lot of sad and painful things happened in the miniature garden...

But... I think it became an opportunity to reconfirm my feelings for you...

Azusa : I... love you. I love you so much... *kisses her

Yui : *kisses back... Me too... I love you

Azusa : Hehe, thank you...

Yui : (We lived inside this miniature garden where time rewinded multiple times. But we managed to get out of here)

(I will never forget all the sorrow and pain we suffered from, but that's fine)

(Because from now on, we'll face and share our pains together--)

Yuma : Stop flirting. You completely forget we're here

Ruki : They often say that love is blind

Kou : Now now, it's fine. They look soooo happy

Azusa : Our pain, our sadness, everything... Let's share it together. Forever

Yui : Yes ! From now on, together and forever--

Euphoria ending : End

#Diabolik Lovers #diabolik lovers translations #diabolik lovers chaos lineage #mukami azusa #Komori Yui #Mukami Ruki #mukami kou #mukami yuma #euphoria ending

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ryanmeft · 5 years

Text

Movie Review: Under the Silver Lake

Under the SIlver Lake is pointless. By that I don’t mean that it lacks a plot, which it does, or that it doesn’t go where I think it should, which for me is a non-issue. I mean there’s no reason for the film to exist. Perhaps there was at one point: the central premise seems to be a revival of the sin-drenched old Hollywood noir, mixed with the hallucinatory sensibilities of David Lynch and a bit of the low-budget wackiness of Terry Gilliam. The end result is a hodge-podge of images, as if someone woke up from a dream and wrote it down as was. I can relate. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve woke from a surreal dream thinking “That’ll make a hell of a story”, only to write it out and look at it and realize it only sounded good in my head. David Robert Mitchell may have had that kind of dream, and never hit the point where he looked at it all printed out and said “This needs an editor.” We open with Sam (Andrew Garfield), a pointless 30-something living in a suburb of Los Angeles. His life consists of easy, meaningless sex, conspiracy theories, fawning calls from his mother and failing to pay the rent. His neighbor, Sarah (Riley Keough) is clearly intended as the traditional femme fatale: rebellious, mysterious, hard to get a bead on. The first time he meets her in person and not through a pair of binoculars, she emerges in mild slow motion, in a close up that calls back to every mystery dame that ever walked through a detective’s office door. Sam and Sarah get high, talk about life, and the next day she’s vanished and her apartment is empty. So far, so good. With previous mentions of a local dog killer and sun-drenched details of down-and-out life in seedy California, Mitchell has established his tone and set us up for a nice mystery.

The trouble here is that a good mystery movie has to be explicable; the trick should be invisible at first but incredibly obvious when you look back on it. Almost as soon as Sarah disappears, the film drifts off into a series of tenuously related images and stories. A billionaire daredevil vanishes. A band called “Jesus and the Brides of Dracula” plays at drug-infused parties. A girl dances with balloons on her skin suit. A local conspiracy theorist and ‘zine author presents theories about a naked female serial killer in an owl mask and hidden messages in music---you know, Paul is Dead kind of stuff. A prostitution ring employs failed actresses. A man appears claiming to be the king of hobos. A topless neighbor’s parrot may be saying something important. There are many skunks.

It’s not possible for the viewer to thread all this together into a cohesive list of relevant facts. That wouldn’t be a problem if the movie presented itself as simply an ode to the oddballness of Lynch and Gilliam; if that’s what you’re looking for, you’ll get it, and in spades. The Homeless King, in particular, clearly owes much to Gilliam’s The Fisher King, while the aimless depictions of L.A.’s largely identifier-free landscape are an ode to Mulholland Drive. To court such influences is to play with fire, and indeed, Mitchell loses himself after a while, the images themselves becoming more important than anything they might be meant to convey. Still, that’s a feature, not a bug, for Gilliam and Lynch fans. The film has instead been held up more as a successor to an older tradition; posters on walls and TVs film-drop everything from Psycho to Farewell to Arms to How To Marry a Millionaire, and silent/classic-era actress Janet Gaynor is a frequent-but-unexplained presence. The legacy of the best of old Hollywood was not that of murky, ill-defined plots and obtuse meditations on life, however. The noirs Mitchell seeks to emulate were sleek affairs, ones in which the mystery ultimately made sense and you could discern it if you were paying attention. The answers were constructed out of information the audience was given, and clever eyes could put them together. Mitchell instead opts to withhold vital facts until he’s ready to reveal them, in effect tasking you with solving a puzzle but keeping half the pieces in the box. He cheats also with the camera, visually portraying things that either don’t really exist or are not parts of the puzzle, frequently and deliberately confusing dreams with reality until we’re not even sure that anything we see is real. There is a certain audience out there who will praise that, some who will claim to have found un-findable answers, or even those who say the film’s flaws don’t matter because it is about the art.

I find these defenses unsatisfying, for one simple reason: even if you forgive the film’s lack of direction, it simply isn’t good, and that’s a standard even indie darlings have to meet. Mitchell’s previous film was the tightly-directed, always-tense horror thriller It Follows, which also had an unsolvable mystery but which did not seek to cheat the audience. Even scenes which, in the end, are revealed by screenwriting convenience to have been important are themselves jarring and off-putting. Witness the bit where Sam confronts an elderly musician (Jeremy Bobb) who claims to have put subliminal messages into every popular song ever made. The scene plays as parody, as something Mel Brooks would have done, and Mitchell almost seems to be taunting the audience with silliness after asking them to take him seriously beforehand.

That feeling pervades the film: the sense of a creator who wants you to love his images, but only on his terms, without the slightest concession to the audience. That works sometimes, if what you’ve got is good. If it isn’t, it just makes us feel used.

Verdict: Avoid like the Plague

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

All images are property of the people what own the movie.

#andrew garfield #david robert mitchell #riley keough #movies #under the silver lake #terry gilliam #california #los angeles

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dainarps · 5 years

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Blood, Booze and Boys

The sound of gunshots never stopped ringing in Kurogane’s ears. He only survived because he was a child — too small to be affected by the random shooting that broke out on the street. He didn’t remember the whole thing. It was like his mind had blocked out bits and pieces to protect himself. He did remember, though, the sight of his parents’ blood, pooling together on the sunlight sidewalk. He remembered the look of terror plastered onto both of their faces, stuck there as they died and their bodies hit the ground. He remembered a police officer, tearing him away from them while having no other explanation for him aside from the fact that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gang violence, they’d told him.

“What gang? Who did it?” Kurogane asked, his small, seven-year-old fists clenched in his lap. “We don’t know.”

That was the day that Kurogane gave up on law enforcement. How could he trust them after they gave him such a shit answer, then essentially turned him out on his own? We don’t know who killed your parents, Mr. Suwa, and we’re very sorry.

It wasn’t good enough.

They were going to put him in foster care — he heard the social workers talking about it. He didn’t trust these people to make his life choices when they couldn’t even find who caused the massive shootout in the downtown district that afternoon. That was their job. Like hell was he going to let these morons decide his life.

So, he ran.

He smashed the window in the office he was staying in and took off like a bat out of hell. His first instinct was to go home, but he realized that would be the first place they looked for him. So, he fled to the woods. He remembered hearing something on the radio once about dogs being unable to trace a person’s scent if they went in a river, so that was exactly what he did. He jumped in the river and let it carry him downstream, where he got out and made a temporary home in a tree for the evening.

As the sun went down, he started to shiver. He’d been camping before, but this was nothing like that. His father had always brought a tent, and helped him make a fire. Here, surrounded by nothing but tree branches and wet leaves, he thought he was going to die. His shivering was nearly uncontrollable, and as he curled up in a ball in the arms of the tree’s roots he realized that if he died…nobody would get justice for his parents. Their deaths would always remain unsolved. Nobody would protect other people from facing the same struggles. How many bad people like that were out there? How many useless cops, evil people, ignorant gang members… The list went on and on.

Kurogane forced himself up, and his brain began to work. His clothes were wet, so he peeled them off and laid them to dry on the tree’s roots. Then, he started to build a spot for a fire. He pushed the damp leaves out of the way and beneath them was soft, malleable ground. He made a small hole to keep his fire contained, surrounded it with rocks, and then gathered everything he needed. Dry leaves and small twigs for kindling, and bigger branches once the flames got going.

He worked for hours, sharpening a stick, rubbing it onto another to try and create flame, even smashing rocks together to make a spark.

Finally, though, after what felt like an eternity, he built a tall, towering flame that warmed his body up immediately. Basking in its light and its warmth, determination set in Kurogane’s features. He could do this…and he could do it on his own.

He stayed in the woods for three days — long enough that his house would surely be empty, but not so long that they would have done anything with the property. They couldn’t — he’d heard the social worker. Once he turned 18, this house belonged to him. He’d come to terms with the fact, though, that he couldn’t live there right now. Not when people were still looking for him. So, he snuck in one evening, packed all that he could carry, and headed out of town.

On the day of his 18th birthday he returned — taller, stronger, and clean-cut, walked into the bank and demanded the deed to the abandoned property. The police questioned him — where had he gone, what had he done, how had he survived. As far as he was aware, Kurogane had committed no crime, so he didn’t say a word, picked up his keys and left as soon as they allowed him, his cane punctuating his footsteps.

His first kill came at the age of eight.

Sleeping under park benches gave him a privileged look into the night life, and selling newspapers during the day allowed him to watch the city. People were so predictable, so routine. The man in the top hat walked by every day at nearly the exact same time and ogled the patisserie waitress, who would wink flirtatiously every time. The man in the top hat had a wife. In the alley, two men would meet up every morning, brush hands, stare into each other’s eyes a moment longer than was normal, before hurrying apart. Tuesdays the convenience store got milk deliveries, and on Wednesdays it got candies. That was when kids came out of the woodwork like roaches, scrambling to shove something sugary into their mouths.

Kurogane would save every quarter he found, every dollar he made, and buy a hearty meal every night instead — he couldn’t remember the taste of frivolous things like ice cream or chocolate.

It was when he was eating his dinner (rice, chicken, and more broccoli than most children would tolerate) that he noticed her.

Kurogane had been building up his understanding of right and wrong, learning morals and deciding for himself what made a person good, and what made a person bad. At first, she seemed harmless. She came to the park every day and watched the children play for a few hours before going home.

The more Kurogane watched, though, the more he noticed. She never brought a child, and she often pulled out strange looking candies from her pocket and tried to convince children to take them. More than once, she tried sneaking away with someone else’s kid, only to get spooked by nothing and run off. Kurogane flew under the radar with her…until he didn’t.

He dragged his cane along the park’s fence, listening to the music it made while the woman’s eyes landed on him. Most of the other children had left the park by now, or were wrapping their play up and finishing their games. It was dinner time, and good kids had to be home to meet with their parents. Kurogane wasn’t a good kid, and he had no parents, and that made him this woman’s perfect target, apparently.

“Aren’t you going to go home?” she asked.

“Don’t know how to get there,” he replied.

“Well, why don’t you give me the address and I’ll walk you.”

And that was exactly what Kurogane did. He gave her the address of the street corner he worked every morning to sell papers, and she led him in the complete opposite direction. Kurogane allowed her. He said nothing as he was brought far away from the park and the center of the city, and he even allowed himself to be grabbed and dragged into a dingy apartment complex. Was this the fate that would have met the other kids?

Her apartment was messy, and tacked up on the walls were photos — too many photos of things that made Kurogane want to vomit. She tried pulling him along further, tried dealing with the nice, compliant boy that Kurogane pretended to be.

In a swift movement — one that matched what he did when he was chopping down tree branches to build fires — he pulled his sword from its cane, the dragon’s head handle fitting perfectly in his palm, and passed the end of the blade right through her neck. Her head disconnected from her body, and both fell to the floor in a pool of blood. He stared at her briefly, watching the blood leak out of her neck and her skull, and then he turned toward the bedsheets to clean up.

Kurogane cleaned the sword the way his father had showed him — this was a prized, family heirloom, after all — then utilized the facilities he had. He showered, made a hot meal, gathered up all the food she had and left. He didn’t bother closing the door behind him. The whole apartment deserved to know what their friendly neighbor had gotten up to.

The next morning, Kurogane was standing on his corner, peddling papers.

“Extra, extra! Read all about it! Pedophile found beheaded in her apartment! 28 missing children’s cases from the county solved!”

Kurogane no longer knew the number of people he’d killed, but he knew the things they’d done. Pedophile, rapist, murderer, adulterer, abuser, thief, gang member. Good humans with good heads on their shoulders didn’t interest Kurogane. These were fine people — these were the sorts of people he hired to help clean up his home. Hardworking folk who weeded his garden, helped him rebuild, helped him paint until the house was standing like new again. Nobody in the small neighborhood on the edge of the city thought they would ever see Kurogane Suwa again, but now that he had returned, they only had good things to say.

He always has a cup of sugar to borrow if you need it.

My grandmother needed help moving an old cabinet and he was over there as soon as I asked him.

If he’s out when the kids are playing in the street, he’ll always kick the ball around with them for a while.

I asked him to tend bar for my holiday party and at the end of the night he refused to take money. We sent him a fruit basket instead.

He was a perfect, respectable member of the neighborhood. He earned his keep, he kept his nose out of trouble, and he never left the house without his cane. Folks in the neighborhood often asked if he’d gotten hurt somehow. He always shook his head and explained that it belonged to his father, and that was enough to keep people from asking further questions. Some people wore their fathers’ rings, or their mothers jewels. Kurogane carried a decorative cane. It was an intriguing accessory for a bartender, but one that often proved useful.

He’d earn extra tips by performing tricks with it. He could slide drinks down the bar with the cane’s leg, or balance glasses atop it, flip them onto the bar and fill them with liquor. The owner down at Clover loved Kurogane for it — he was a barman, an entertainer, and good with anyone who walked into the place and sat down at the bar. Not only that, but he was good at stopping trouble. Clover was an establishment for people with a little extra money in their pockets — a high class bar where people could listen to live music, dance, and have some of the finest drinks in town.

On good nights, a drunken couple would have a spat and Kurogane would simply kick them out. On bad nights, Kurogane usually followed someone home and, with the collar of his jacket popped up and his hat pulled low over his eyes, made sure they’d never cause a problem at his place ever again.

The bar presented him with a unique opportunity. Those in the lower class bars tended to be working folk, just out having a good time. These people, though — they had connections. They knew where the black markets ran, where they could get someone to do a certain job, and they trusted that the simple barman who did tricks with his cane would never say a word. If he did, he would lose his job.

So, no, Kurogane never said a word. But, that didn’t mean he didn’t act on what he heard.

A ship was due at port tonight, with what was described as “live” cargo, followed by a wink. He knew, too, that nobody traded piles of gold for a cow or a horse.

Some papers described him as some type of vigilante, but that didn’t make his murders any less heinous according to the law. He was a wanted man, but he wouldn’t stop. The world…needed him. The world needed protection, and he could provide it. He could ensure safety for those that could not save themselves. That was exactly what he was doing tonight.

He hid himself low on the rooftop, the dark night hiding him easily. He pushed his hat up with his thumb and watched as a group of people skittered through the city, leaping from rooftops and whispering as the ship pulled into port, several large boxes sitting on its deck. They were going to collect their cargo, but they would never make it there.

The man at the back didn’t even have time to scream as Kurogane descended upon him, his body landing with a thud on the metallic roof and his head rolling down and landing with a gruesome squelch on the ground. It was that sound that alerted the rest, but luckily Kurogane managed to get one more down before they started shouting or screaming.

“What’s his face look like! I can’t see his face!” “Who just carries a sword around town with them?! How haven’t they caught this guy?!”

Bullets flew past Kurogane — and boy had he become an expert at dodging those. People thought that guns were the ultimate tool, and that they would always protect them. Kurogane found his sword to be far more efficient.

A third person went down, followed by another. And though Kurogane was certainly causing a mess, he was always careful. He never once stepped in the blood of his victims, and he never showed any skin, aside from that which was around his eyes. He wanted his eyes to be the last thing these people saw. He wanted them to know that someone knew what they were doing…and that they’d received their just desserts.

The twentieth body fell at his feet, and the smirk on Kurogane’s lips only grew wider. His sword dripped blood down onto the tin roof, and as he surveyed his creation — his art, his revenge, his purpose — he threw his head back and laughed, loud and unafraid. They would not catch him again tonight. As usual, the only thing he left behind was his mark — a scene of destruction and swift deaths dealt.

Using gloved hands, he wiped his sword and jumped down from the roof, landing on the dock. The crew emerged at the sound of gunshots, and they, too, didn’t have time to even prepare themselves. There were only three of them, so compared to what he’d just done, this was like serving mimosas at a neighborhood brunch.

With that taken care of, there was one thing left to do.

His sword cut through the locks on the crates like a hot knife through butter, and as they fell open and revealed their contents, Kurogane was far from the scene. Sirens could be heard throughout the seaside neighborhood, and as the police cars whipped around the corner, tires squealing, men, women and children, all of whom were nude, emerged from the crates. They were dazed, lost, and sobbing — whether that was because of their situation, or because of the dead bodies, the reporters didn’t know.

—————

Yukito Tsukishiro’s fingers hammered away at a typewriter. Headphones covered his ears, relaying police radio to him as he wrote up the article. Sure, it was the middle of the night, but this was front page stuff! If he could get it in by 3:00 it would make the morning paper, with his byline!

26 People Killed By Serial Vigilante: 200 Human Trafficking Victims Saved!

Around one o’clock this morning, Sturbridge Post Daily received, by radio, word that the Serial Vigilante had struck again. The killer, known for more than one hundred total deaths and suspected of many more, murdered 26 members of the Brumont gang this morning in an effort to free victims of human trafficking. The victims were of all genders and ranged in age from 3 years old to 35 years old, and were originally from third-world countries to our south.

Yukito bit his lower lip as he read over the article, and as he did his roommate placed an envelope on the table beside him.

“I’ll take my usual compensation when the story runs.”

Yukito looked up at his roommate and smiled.

“You really should charge people more than macaroons for your photography, Yue,” he said as he opened up the envelope. Inside were impossible-to-get shots of the crime scene, taken from rooftops and inside other buildings. Yukito never asked how Yue got the photos, but he was more than happy to run them. It was publicity for both of them, after all.

“I do. How do you think I make rent?” Yue lifted his hands behind his head and undid his impossibly long ponytail, letting his hair fall down his back. “There’s a cab waiting outside to take you to the publisher.”

That was all Yukito needed to hear before he was sprinting out the door. Yue sighed and retreated to his bedroom.

—————

“Tsukishiro! I thought you weren’t going to make it. You’ve got my story?” “And the pictures to go with it!” Yukito said, running to his editor and shoving the papers into his hands.

“You should see if you can get an interview with someone at the station with this one — it’s his first big one in a while,” his editor said. “If you can land it, it’ll be another front page piece.”

Yukito was already working out the best way to get to the station from his apartment, and what he would have to do to convince a cop to talk to him. They didn’t usually talk to the press about active cases, but if he could get it…it would be one of the biggest pieces of his career, so he would have to try.

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patexie · 6 years

Text

Some “Atem after coming back” headcanons

Sooo some time ago @amatsubuart made a post with a lot of very good Atem headcanons and I got inspired to write some of my own !

There are also some Kaiba headcanons tying into them,,

* Atem has a very hard time getting used to the 21st century. It wasn’t that hard for him before because he didn’t have to understand anything, he had the comfort of going back into the puzzle and he had nothing to compare it to bc he didn’t have his memories. But now, he has his memories of AE and even lived in it for a few years through the Afterlife. So the differences are huge and can be overwhelming and disheartening

* More on that last point; he has quite a lot trouble getting used to the noise. All the people, all the cars, traffic, TVs, radios, phones, machinery, etc. It can just be too much. And he still has some problems with identifying certain sounds that would be evident for everyone around him (like a car’s alarm going off and he’s freaking out bc he thinks some great danger is coming or something)

* He doesn’t quite understand everything of the 21st century, so he has a certain child-like and genuine curiousity towards everything that’s new to him

* He’s pretty religious. He grew up worshipping the Egyptian gods and back in his time religion was handled a whole lot differently. So he prays a lot, makes offerings and even has a shrine. Well, especially now that he remembers the gods, he still feels somewhat guilty for losing his memories about them and therefore neglecting them

* He and Kaiba sometimes get into fights over his religion. Kaiba doesn’t quite believe in anything and finds Atem believing in “fairy tales” to be ridiculous and unbelievable. Sometimes he ends up offending Atem and his luck goes very down until Atem forgives him. Kaiba never said a thing about this to Atem because he knows Atem would have that smug look on his face and claim it’s the Gods’ punishment for insulting them. He tries to racionalize these times as just coincidences and to find some reason behind them, but sometimes he’s at loss for explanation (for example once his perfect systems shut down and he couldn’t get any work done or fix them, but as soon as he and Atem made up his systems started working perfectly again)

* Even tho he enjoys being with the Yugi friend gang, he also enjoys being alone and being with Kaiba (even if they aren’t doing anything together and do their own stuff next to each other)

* Neither him nor Kaiba ever talk about what happened during those times Kaiba went to visit him in the Afterlife and just how he managed to get Atem to return with him. But they had formed a much more stable bond than before and its apparent in both of their behaviors (Kaiba’s calmer and more balanced and Atem’s a lot more patient and forgiving towards Kaiba. Plus the both of them are less violent when it comes to competition)

* From time to time Kaiba goes as far as to give Atem difficult maths and logical puzzle books to keep his mind busy. They still play Duel Monsters, but not as much as they used to. Now they play a lot of different games and make a competition out of almost everything to challenge each other

* Both Kaiba and Yugi (+ his friend group) are protective of Atem. They lost him once and that’s something non of them would let happen again. Tho this isn’t all that obvious and they show this protectiveness in different ways (Yugi’s very caring to the point of being motherly and overcautious, Kaiba’s overly possessive and Anzu, Joey and Tristan would beat up anyone who even tried to lay a hand on Atem). Atem doesn’t understand why everyone seems to think he needs that much protection as he can look out for himself just fine, but he’s grateful nonetheless

* He lives with Yugi and Solomon and tries to take out his part in the chores around the house as much as possible. But he also has his own room at the Kaiba’s where he stays at from time to time

* He looks at Yugi like a twin brother and Solomon like a grandpa/father. He doesn’t care they aren’t his biological family, he still treats and loves them as such

* He still has his shadow powers and even tho he has more control over them, he barely uses them. Tho they can go out of control when he has a panic attack or something of that caliber

* Beside the mind crushing thing, he also has other powers, such as at times seeing ghosts, pyrokinesis, telekinesis and just having a huge energy power thing in general ((tho this is very much just a personal headcanon and ties into my au in which Atem is divine and the Egyptian Gods were present during his childhood, but more on that maybe later))

* He’s very lucky on the basis and his instincts are pretty much always spot-on, so things usually conveniently go his way

* Whenever he’s very bored, he reads books about AE and Egyptian mythology. This usually ends up with him either laughing or getting angry at how much they got wrong. But sometimes certain books and authors impress and surprise him if they turn out to be accurate

* He actually picked up the habit of talking with Ishizu from time to time. She gives him comfort bc she reminds him a lot of his era and she can talk with him about AE. He also tends to help out with translating/reading hieroglyphics and clearing up stuff about AE (like traditions, life in general, religion, etc)

* As Kaiba and Ishizu became sort of business partners, Kaiba sometimes flies out to Egypt to have business meetings with her. And he started taking Atem with him as well (just Atem, anyone else in addition would be too much). And Atem’s very grateful, he feels more at home there even if it makes him very sad bc he misses his former friends, family and people

* His fashion style is either very elegant or baggy everything and there’s no inbetween. Also lots of gold jewelry

* As his biggest fear is becoming useless, Yugi and their friend group try to keep him busy as much as they can. Ishizu tends to give him work by having him help out with AE-ian stuff. Kaiba sometimes calls him for help (which is never stated) with some of his newest technologies, mainly with testing or finding shortcuts. In addition, he also does voluntary work and helps out at different organizations like animal shelters

* More about him helping out Kaiba. Atem’s thinking and problem-solving is a lot different from anyone else’s. He grew up in a completely different era where people believed completely different things and interpreted the laws of physics in different ways. He knows how his people built the pyramids and follows the same mathematical calculation style. So whenever Kaiba gets really tangled up in his programming or calculations, Atem goes and approaches the problem on hand in a very different mannerism and usually gets a much quicker way to the correct answer or answers. Sometimes even Kaiba can’t properly understand just how Atem’s logic work

* He’s fluent in Japanese, but whenever he gets overwhelmed he starts talking in his native tongue. Solomon, Ishizu and Kaiba are the only ones who can more or less understand him and talk to him (tho Yugi also has been trying to learn ancient Egyptian and take up classes on it). And he also picked up on some English and Arabic

* As he sort of just appeared out of nowhere, they had to get all his papers made. And that process would have been a hella lot more difficult if Kaiba didn’t help out and get all of them done for Atem. It was never said why exactly he did it, but it was because he was grateful for Atem’s return and he has problems with saying thank you or expressing his feelings

* He has a bad habit of getting a bit too “royal” at times and someone needs to pull him back by telling him to stop. He got used to being the pharaoh and being treated and looked at as a sort of god, so at times he picks up a more demanding tone and orders others around, which reminds everyone of Kaiba more than Atem himself

* Thanks to getting his memories back and getting back into ruling, he has a bigger respect-demanding authorial vibe to him. He grew up in royalty and in being believed he was divine, so he was taught to have the stance of a king all the time

* He tells a lot of stories about his Gods to Yugi. He grew up on them, so they are dear to him and Yugi’s interested in listening to them. They are kind of like bedtime stories to Yugi, they have that kind of charm. And even tho Kaiba says they are bullshit and doesn’t believe in them, he’s willing to listen to these stories as well (alongside Mokuba, who openly enjoys and looks forward to them)

* He loves animals and they seem to love him as well. Stray animals always let him pet them, especially how he often gives them food. He can’t have a pet on his own tho

* He and Anzu never got together. He never had such feelings for her and her feelings sort of faded during those years when he was gone. But he’s rooting for Anzu and Yugi to get together and tries to help Yugi out even tho he has no dating experience

* He has a lot of dreams regarding AE. Most of them good, but also some bad ones like reliving his death. Some of the good dreams feel like they are the way his dead friends are communicating with him. And regardless of if it’s good or bad, after waking up he almost always cries himself back to sleep bc he feels regret and just misses his friends and family so much

* He has gotten used to the very warm weather and the constant sunshine, so being in Japan, where it’s colder and the sun shines less, has taken a toll on him. He got used to it with time, but he still gets moody bc of it at times and he has a lower cold-tolerance than most people (but at the same time he can take the heat much better than everyone around him)

* It didn’t exactly thunder in the Afterlife. There were some light rains, but that’s about it. So during the first few months of coming back, he would go outside whenever it was really raining and there were a lot of lightnings. And ofc whoever he was spending the night at (mostly Yugi, sometimes Kaiba) had to drag him back inside so he wouldn’t catch a cold. This adoration for thunders didn’t go away, but with time he learnt to just watch them through a window

#yugioh #atem #pharaoh atem #headcanons #i love writing headcanons #they are so much fun to think about #seto kaiba #yugi motou

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ooshu · 6 years

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broken figures

sehun & reader. angst. 2.9k words. strong use of language.

summary: sehun couldn’t fix what he is afraid to fix.

“do you know where sehun is?”

it’s nearly 2 in the morning when you received a phone call from one of your closest friends, minseok. based from the multiple texts that were sent to your phone when you were working on your 3-paged essay, he was nowhere to be found in their dorm and was last seen going outside at 9 in the evening. his phone is also off and there’s no sign that he will be back anytime unless everyone will start to look for him.

as a close friend of sehun, you know something is up. he is always this person who tries to shrug off his feelings whenever he is in trouble. he thinks that a glass of beer and various attempts of thinking on how to solve his problems would be a solution but no, you’ve seen him cry on your shoulders a lot of times and that made him at ease. he just needed to vent and be assured that whatever that he is going through, there will always be someone that will be with him through his worst times.

in this case, reaching out would be impossible.

after you ended the call, you tried to contact sehun again. it was a surprise that this time, his phone is on but it was kind of odd that your call wouldn’t reach him. you were sure that he has your number blocked, and you were sure that he knows that you would come find him in the middle of this night.

you decided to bring your car with you to save time and hopefully, you could see sehun somewhere down the road. you passed through a lot of clubs and entered those but the sight of him couldn’t be seen anywhere. jongin and the rest also went out as soon as they heard that you were looking for him outside. they asked a lot of hotels if he was currently checked in those but they failed to get information regarding his whereabouts. you and his group met at the park to check on each other before spreading out to continue the search for your best friend.

“this is getting serious.” jongin fumbled on the last piece of gum on his pocket, trying to stay awake and calm at the same time. “should we call the police?”

“nah,” jongdae said. “we will see him soon.” he let out a deep sigh and continued, “call me if you need anything, (y/n).”

the night is getting older and sleep is slowly consuming you. deep down inside, you know that sehun will soon give up and go home but you don’t think that you could sleep at night knowing that he is still not safe inside his room, tucked in his blankets. you suddenly thought of your unfinished essay and your tummy growled, craving for a snack.

you went inside your car and searched for the nearest convenience store around the area. you never noticed that you drove pretty far from your house until now. you spotted one and park on the other side of the road.

you were about to cross the road until a familiar person comes into visual. you looked closely but the dim lights quite made it difficult to see but you were sure that the boy was seated on the side of the store with a can of beer on his hand, eyes focused on the ground, seemed zoning out.

soon, he rose from his seat and you saw that the person you’ve been looking for is right there in front of you, walking towards an unfamiliar path. you didn’t want to startle him since you know that he’s in his little own world together with his deep thoughts so you followed him instead.

a part of you wished that he could have just called you and talk about it. life gets pretty tough sometimes and he wouldn’t have to deal about it. you couldn’t recall anything that made him feel difficult but you guess that all of people have been looking for a remedy to the things they don’t discuss.

and you on the other hand, feels really bad that he had to go whatever he is feeling right now. cliché as it may seem, you wanted to be that remedy. you wanted to heal whatever that is hurting him. you wanted him by your side all the time so the world couldn’t blame him for the things he didn’t do.

you just wanted sehun all by yourself even though that sounds very selfish of you, and your unrequited feelings is one of the things you never found a remedy to completely heal.

he threw the can of beer on the ground and you slowly took a few steps away from him. maybe your plan is to get him drunk so he could pass out and bring him back to his dorm so you let him enter this almost empty bar. there he sat on the corner of the bartender’s place and ordered a bottle of scotch.

you gestured the bartender who was supposed to acknowledge your soon-to-be-order a no as you shook your head in disbelief. the man got the message and continued to wipe the remaining newly washed set of glasses.

you sat behind, slightly close to where he is. an almost eerie sound of silence filled the atmosphere except for the clinking glasses from the people at the front of the pub. you watched sehun closely and he put his glass down.

his actions made you startle, especially when his deep voice echoed in your ears.

“i know you’ve been there ever since i stepped on this bar.” sehun turned around and looked at you with his nonchalant face. you let out a deep sigh and decided to cut the act. it’s time to know what’s been bugging in his head.

“i thought you’re with your friends,” you sat next to him. “why are you here?”

sehun let out a deep chuckle and poured himself another glass of his drink. “well, it’s none of your business, (y/n).”

he reeked of alcohol. sehun had too much of it but you didn’t want to get his drink off him because it might get the situation worse.

“why are you here?” he said. his eyes were focused on his glass that is now being spinning by his fingers. the bartender was kind enough to give you a drink, which he insisted that it’s on the house.

“it’s none of your business too, sehun.”

“get out then.”

“who said i can’t drink in the middle of the night?”

you tried your hardest to keep your patience but sehun is having none of it. instead, you played with him, pretending that his words didn’t hurt you at all.

“leave me alone.”

“no.”

“why are you so fucking stubborn?”

“i just wanted a drink.”

“fucking leave.”

“no, sehun. i won’t leave this place without you.”

“are you fucking serious?” you can see the anger on his face, purposely trying to make you stay away from him but you were defeated once you heard the words you believed were true.

“why are you so stubborn?”

“because.”

“can you leave me for once? god, i wish i never met you.”

“i never needed you.”

because it came from someone who is a complete drunk, and he never lies when he’s drunk and you swear to god you could feel your heart sinking slowly by slowly. hurt was written all over your face and in that moment, sehun knew he messed up.

“(y/n)-“

“i’ll call the others to pick you up here.”

and so you left the bar and sehun behind.

you just wished that you knew he felt like that a long time ago because if you did, you wouldn’t be shoving yourself into him. so much caring for a person who didn’t want your affection.

“

you found yourself sitting on a swing. it was almost 4 in the morning and the morning wind starts to blow on your feet, making you shiver. the playground was empty. it was only you who was there, the tall street lamp and the scattered yellow leaves fallen on the ground.

you couldn’t help but to worry still. you should have not left him like that especially he’s in that current state – disheveled hair, chaotic set of mind and clumsy actions. you took your phone out and texted jongin, letting him know that he’s in that local pub you were in, alcohol sucking the shit out of his soul.

if there is a miracle that could happen, you just wish that this night never existed. you wanted to hide from the truth. your feelings were not reciprocated and the worst thing after that is he didn’t want you in his sight.

were you just being sensitive? or sehun just let the alcohol do the talking earlier? either way, you wanted to go home, hoping that sleep would fade away the night.

you lazily swept your feet on the ground, playing with the leaves until a pair of feet came in your sight. you looked up and there he was – eyes glimmering, nicely sculptured face and soft lips. he sat beside your swing, its chains slightly rattling.

“i’m sorr-“

“you could’ve just talked to me, you know.”

“i didn’t want to.”

“why were you just there…? you know, earlier?” you asked.

“i just wanted to be alone, i guess.”

“what were you thinking then?”

“you. i was thinking about you.”

you looked at him. where is this going?

“oh. okay.”

now you just have to know what you could have possibly done for him to go in shambles this night and why those hurtful words spilled from his mouth.

“what did i do?”

“i know that getting into trouble is the only way i could get your attention.”

“what do you-“

“and i knew you would come to me but the moment i saw you earlier, i felt like it was wrong.” he continued. “we never hang anymore. we only see each other when i have something to discuss that i could fix all by myself but in this case, i couldn’t, and you can’t, too.”

you grabbed his hand and intertwined it with yours. he tried to pull from the grip but you held his hand tighter. “you know that i will always be here, right?”

“look at me,” but sehun still avoided looking at your eyes. “sehun.”

“what’s wrong?” you asked. “let’s fix it together. you know we can. we’ve been through this before.”

you muttered it’s okay and rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb. his gaze turned on the ground, and you don’t have any idea how you would deal to the words fell from his faint voice.

“if i said that i love you for a very long time, will you be able to fix it?”

“sehu-“

“of course you couldn’t.” sehun let out a slight chuckle, laughing on how it sounded stupid and how it just turned everything into chaos. “and i think you deserve someone who isn’t pathetic as i am. you need someone who’s worthy of your time, not me who just leeches on you whenever i need something.”

“but the truth is that i need you more than that, more than anything else, more than this.” this time he was already standing, emotions fuelling up his anger towards himself.

“i wanted to get better for you but i can’t, and i have no courage to be called your man if i will remain the same.”

you wanted to say something but the words are too overwhelming to comprehend. you never knew sehun felt that way. he bottled his emotions because he knew it would jeopardize your friendship with him – the one he treasures the most, the one he couldn’t afford to lose.

and now sehun believes he just lost the love of his life because of his reckless actions but he knew he wouldn’t be okay until he says the truth.

“you could’ve just really talked to me, you know.”

“i didn’t want to lose you like this.”

you stood up and held his hand. your actions slightly taken him aback but it was not short until he held it with a tight grip, with his thoughts running in his mind that this might be the last time that it’s going to be like this.

“i could’ve helped you fix it, sehun.” he shook his head in disbelief, almost on the brink of crying. “because i love you too.”

he was almost happy when he heard the one thing he has been wishing to listen every night but as soon as his reality flashed into his eyes, he shook his head in disbelief and loosened the grip on your hands.

all sehun could ever think is about all the trouble he had caused with you involved in it. the nights you had spent to talk to him over the phone, to distract him from his personal issues. those times you had to adjust yourself on your own bed because he asked to stay for the night because he felt lonely all of the sudden and many other times he had caused inconvenience, just like this moment right here.

you on the other hand, fell for that, fell for him. you slowly learned to accept his flaws whenever he didn’t. you saw the beauty on his fresh wounds and scars. you were beyond ecstatic to be trusted because he only trusts a few. you fell for the sight of him during the mornings when you wake up before him and thought how can you not love yourself when you look beautiful like this?

“i should go.” he said.

“please don’t.”

“this is wrong.”

“loving you is not wrong.”

“you don’t know what you are saying.”

“i do.”

“i don’t know if i could be the man who will give you what you need, what you deserve.”

“i know you could and i would do the same for you.”

“you’re too good for me, and that is so fucking unfair.”

“please don’t go.” you pleaded again. “don’t you see i am afraid to lose you too?”

“you’re not the only one who feels inconvenient the whole fucking time, sehun. often i would check up on you and ask how you are doing, hoping that you would come talk to me what’s on your mind, on how your day went. i wanted you to talk to me all the goddamn time but i know i just can’t because i might annoy the shit out of you or you would think that i just pity you.”

“but the truth is that,” you continued. “i love it when you talk to me. i love it when you ramble about the things that get you excited. i love it when you talk about your fascinations about life and slowly i realized that i could relate on those things, that i actually learn from you.”

“you make me happy, sehun. and no matter how long it will take me to make you see that you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen in my whole entire life, i will never get tired of repeating the same thing all over and over again.”

the whole place turned into a quiet one. the wind slowly hummed in your ears and a sehun in front of you stared at the ground, with a face that is so unreadable, almost empty.

“but i can’t force you.” you were supposed to convince him but it turned out that a heart won’t change for something that is not enough to make it stay. “if you think that this is not right, then maybe it is really not.”

“goodbye, sehun.”

with tears prickled your eyes, you turned away from him, thinking maybe it’s for the best since it don’t make him comfortable.

because you just wanted to make him feel like everything is right, because he had too much worries in his head and this time, you let him decide what’s best for him.

because you know he can work things out with his life. he is just too afraid to let his wings fly.

so you chose to let go.

“

“please stay.” sehun whispered. he thought it was loud and clear enough for you to hear but it didn’t reach you. he gulped the lump in his throat and fought his tears back, and fought his fear of losing someone he loves – you.

he said it again, louder this time, louder than the beat of his heart. “please stay.”

“what did you say?” you slowly walked into him, and so he did. he stopped on his tracks when he saw your face, tears dried up, eyes swollen.

“please stay.”

“sehun.”

“let me make it up to you.”

“you don’t have to-“

“not because you did so much to me, it’s because i want to. you’ve helped me with a lot of things. it’s like, i crossed many oceans with you. and this time,” he took a few steps towards you and slowly linked his fingers with yours.

“i wanna be a better so i could fix whatever that is hindering me from giving you the whole world.”

“let me fix myself so i could fix us.”

“but you don’t have to, sehun.” you said. “you’re good enough for me. you’re better than what i hoped for.”

“but if that’s what it’s meant to be for you to fix whatever you wanted to fix,” you held the grip on his hands and sehun felt the reassurance on your smile.

“let’s fix it together until the very end.”

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peachyfic · 6 years

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S.M.A.R. - Chapter 1

Shoot Me & Runaway

Warning: This chapter and following chapters might include the death of a character, angst, crime scenes, explicit description of dead bodies, the cause of death, and crime. Moderate cursing might appear. It is a ‘safe for work’ fan fiction with occasional dirty jokes included but there will be no smut. At least for now ;) Also, each chapter is pretty lengthy so brace yourself!

Hansol - Manhattan, New York, USA - August 29th, 2018

Today was the day when I saw something incredibly dark, I thought I will never be able to smile again. The feeling of looking into a pair of deep dark eyes while you see the life leaving slowly from the person’s body. I don’t know if I want to believe in the supernatural dimension of human souls and ghosts, but I swear I sensed something floating around me when the body lifelessly sank into my arms. My breathing stopped for a moment and I thought I was never going to eat again as I felt my stomach turning into a knot.

The girl, who seemed so bright a moment ago, just died in my arms. Who she was? That I didn’t know. I just met her with another group of Koreans who came to visit New York City just like I did with my family. We were looking at a couple of 19th-century European paintings in the Metropolitan Museum of Art when she suddenly told me she was feeling sick. She was only two years older than me, a college student somewhere in Seoul. I didn’t know anything else about her, not even her name. But when she collapsed into my arms, nobody seemed to worry for her, that meant she was all alone. When the tour guide noticed what happened, he suddenly stopped talking about Mihaly Munkacsy whose artwork The Music Room was temporarily on display. The music room… I was wondering about the sound of the piano, which the girl was playing on. I wished I was in a music room where I could hear different melodies, but then I got reminded that my life wasn’t about the arts, my life was more about the law. What if I lived a life where I could perform on stage and be a true artist who speaks his emotions through lyrics?

But at that moment when I was wondering about an alternate universe, the girl turned to me.

“It’s really hot in here, don’t you think?” she asked me while she was fanning herself with the folded map of the museum.

“No, I think it’s fine,” I said cluelessly but then her body’s weight fell on mine and I wrapped my hands around her shoulders to keep her up. But her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were staring at me wide open. I think she was still breathing for a second but when I lowered her on the floor… it didn’t’ take long until I lost her.

“What happened?” Shouted the guide which made everyone in the group jump and turn around to take a look at the two of us.

“Hansol!” My mom screamed who kneeled down on the floor next to me and checked if I was okay.

“She is dead,” I declared and her eyes moved towards the girl’s direction. She didn’t say anything. She took her wrist and checked her pulse, while I was hearing the guide’s voice who was calling for an ambulance. My mom sighed then she closed the girl’s eyelids.

“What happened to her?” My sister asked as she walked next to us. I looked up at her and I saw worry in her eyes.

“She… I don’t even know,” I gulped then I turned towards my dad who put his arm on my shoulder, “what do I do?”

“There is nothing we can do now..”

Hyukjae - Seoul, South Korea - August 31st, 2018

It started out as a usual Friday morning when I stepped into my dull looking office in the center of Seoul. The rent I had to pay for it skyrocketed beyond the limits I would have been comfortable with, but for my elite clients, this was a more convenient location. When I opened the door, my intern was taking a morning nap, like usually, behind his desk in the main hall. His job was to take care of my calls, greet clients, bring snacks and drinks if the clients stayed for a longer time, and do some necessary research which I usually didn’t have the time for next to my towering paperwork.

Wonwoo was more than an intern in a way because sometimes I felt like he was truly an assistant. Although I paid him very little money as he was just a college student, he still did a lot more than it was required of him. The boy had an incredible amount of knowledge and I could tell from the first time I talked to him that he not just desperately wanted to be but he would be an astonishing detective. But of course, he had his flaws.

“Good morning Jeon Wonwoo, rise and shine,” I shouted as I dropped down my heavy leather bag on his desk. This made him almost jump out of his skin and nearly caused him to fall off from the cheap office chair.

“Ah, hyung,” he said while taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes, “sorry I didn’t hear you come in. Let me make you coffee quickly.”

“Did you stay up late again, playing games?” I asked him as I took off my suit and hung it up on the coat hanger. Wonwoo got out from the chair and stretched up his arms high. He was a very skinny and tall boy, he kind of reminded me of the time when I was younger. Although I was never as tall as him but the built was familiar.

“Yes… I was playing for hours with my team and we were so determined to win, but we kept losing. The hours passed by so fast, I even forgot to do my online homework for one of my classes,” he explained as he turned on the water heater while taking out a container with coffee in it.

“You know you have to take care of your classes or else they will say that you can’t work as an intern,” I replied and he silently nodded. “Did anything come this morning?”

“Sergeant Lee left a message for you, he said you are a bastard for not cleaning up after yourself and for just going to work without taking care of the mess in the kitchen,” started Wonwoo which made my head boil. I told Donghae countless times to not leave personal messages to my intern. “This made me wonder hyung, are you two living together?”

“No, don’t think of anything like that,” I protested as I took my coffee in my hands, making the skin on my palm feel just as warm as my face. “Last night I went to have a beer with him but he is not good with alcohol so he passed out after just half a bottle. But I had a really stressful week behind me so I kept on drinking and eating and trashing his place. And it seems like he didn’t like that,” I sighed and Wonwoo laughed.

“You two seem to be really close friends,” he said and I smiled. Indeed we were close friends, always causing trouble and teasing either each other or the people around us. Although things were far easier when we both were just school boys and we didn’t have to solve so many problems around us. But after all, that was our job.

“So did you say anything to him?” I asked as I picked up a pile of papers from his desk which were ready for me to review them.

“Yeah, I told him to not take it personally because Hyukjae hyung doesn’t even keep his own office clean,” answered Wonwoo with a cocky smile. I nearly dropped the papers from my hand in embarrassment.

“Ah, what do you mean?! I keep the office clean as much as I can!” I tried to protest but he shook his head.

“It’s always me who has to clean up everything after you which is weird because you should see my apartment, it’s a disaster. Yet here, I feel like I need to clean every time because I always feel it’s too dirty,” he explained and I didn’t know what else to say. But my situation was saved with a phone call which Wonwoo picked up.

“I’m going to be in my office,” I whispered and he nodded.

I settled down the papers on top of my dark oak desk and I pulled away the curtains to let the morning sun in. I opened the window because I didn’t want to turn on the AC just yet and as it was August, it was a pretty a warm day.

I put on my glasses and sat down on my chair, which wasn’t any better than Wonwoo’s. The squeaky noise of it annoyed the hell out of me, but I never found the time to go and replace it with something else. Well, actually, shopping online made everyone’s life easier so maybe it’s better to say I didn’t bother too much to spend money on it.

When I took some papers in front of me, I picked up a blue pen that was my usual marker while looking at the cases I reviewed for a final time. Last week I was able to put an end to the homicide which happened a month ago. It was a long way to find out first how did the victim die then to find who killed him. But it was the usual, he was owning money and he couldn’t pay it back on time, which caused him his life.

As I was reviewing the paper, a sudden knock on my door made me jump a little. After I called in the person, it was Wonwoo with a piece of note.

“Today Seo Jeong Hun will visit you at one in the afternoon, he sounded very serious,” Wonwoo explained as he put down the note on my desk.

“Wait, isn’t he that very rich man who owns an art business company?” I asked and Wonwoo nodded.

“I think you should turn on the TV,” he added then he left my office. I got up from my chair and walked to the opposite corner of the room where a small TV was placed on top of a small table. I sat down on the leather couch which was usually to make clients feel more comfortable or for me occasionally taking a nap. I turned on the TV and I switched to a news channel because I knew what Wonwoo tried to imply. I didn’t even have to pay attention for long because every channel was filled with the news.

Two days ago Seo Jeong Hun’s daughter collapsed in a museum in New York City and it made it be a national news as she was from one of the richest families in Korea and she was also the heir to all that wealth. Now I started to put together the picture why he wanted to talk to me, he probably wants me to find out who killed his daughter, I thought. It seemed like, the very first time I had to move my office abroad.

Soonyoung - Seoul, South Korea - August 31st, 2018

“Poor girl, she just went to a museum and then died in there. What if her soul is trapped in there forever, how boring is that,” I said to Jihoon who was silently looking at the TV, watching the news. I thought with my lame comment I will make him react some way but he was so engrossed in the report, he didn’t even care about my existence.

The station was unusually quiet and not many officers were seen just yet. Some were out to do some routine patrolling and some others were taking a vacation leave in the last week of August. Jihoon and I were the youngest ones at the station so we didn’t have that luxury yet. But our boss was especially kind to us so he sometimes gave us a couple of days off.

Sergeant Lee was behind his desk, not paying attention to the news, and just calmly reading a book that he had been staring at for months. I did see some progress in it and sometimes I heard him turn the pages, but it looked like he was still at the beginning.

“Hey, do you think it was murder? Because so far they say she might have had an allergic reaction to the food she ate at the museum’s cafeteria. But I don’t think it’s that simple,” commented Jihoon as he finally spoke up when the report was over.

“I don’t know man, I think after a little investigation we will have more information on it. I heard that the police are really good in New York City and they are quick in catching murderers,” I replied and started to imagine how cool it would be to be an officer in that big metropolis.

“True… but things seem fishy. I mean, she was the daughter of a very influential man,” continued Jihoon and I waved my hand.

“Yeah, but if you think it’s because of that, then they could have killed her here too. They didn’t have to go that far,” I said and Jihoon just fell deeper in his thoughts.

I got up from the chair and walked over to Sergeant Lee who was sipping from his iced americano. “Boss, is there anything we can do? It’s getting boring in here.”

“Officer Kwon, there is always something to do. Especially if you look at this pile of reports that have been sitting here for a couple of days now,” pointed at some papers Sergeant Lee.

“Anything else besides paperwork?” I asked with endless hope in my heart but Sergeant Lee’s smirk crushed it all.

“You can take the mop in the bathroom and clean up a little,” he said and I sighed. “Hey, you should be happy that we live in such a peaceful city that you don't…” but before he could finish his sentence, the phone started to ring, which was directly connected to the dispatcher. Maybe the city wasn’t that peaceful after all.

“Officer Lee and Officer Kwon, your leisure is over as you have to get into action. You know the high school two streets away? I just got a report that one of the teachers hung himself. You should get there fast to close down the school and send the students home. An investigating team is on the way too,” Sergeant Lee explained as soon as he was done, we headed out to one of the cars.

“Today is your day,” said Jihoon as he threw the car key into my hand.

Suicide cases were common these days, so I wasn’t too surprised. But it’s never pleasant to see a dead body hang in front of you.

When we arrived at the school, the investigating team was right there at the entrance. We started to let the students go home and close down the area. It was also necessary to have the principal with us to answer to some of our questions. Did the teacher seem distressed? How was he acting that day? Did he seem like a troubled person? Who does he belong to, any family members?

All the questioning started while the investigators looked at the body. It was a man in his thirties, probably closer to forty. He was a Math teacher and he had taught at the school for two years. Before that, he was a private teacher for elite students. The principal didn’t know a lot about his personal life but he seemed like a calm person who loved teaching and the students loved him. If he were to be asked about which teacher is the most likely to commit suicide, this teacher would have been at the bottom of the list. Regardless of that, every sign seemed to show towards suicide and not murder. A prosecutor from the local district showed up and it was determined that he died from the rope so it was no need for further investigation of the case.

I felt like they closed the situation too quickly. But who am I to judge their job? After all, I’m just a young police officer.

Jihoon and I went back to the station and reported everything that happened at the scene to our boss. Sergeant Lee looked up at us from his computer where he was writing our report.

“Are you sure it was a suicide?” He asked while his fingers were still resting on the keyboard. Jihoon nodded firmly but I was more hesitant. “Officer Kwon, is there something else?

“The thing is… they say it’s a suicide case, but to me, it was determined too fast. Shouldn’t they do an autopsy?” I asked with a weak voice because I didn’t want to make my boss angry for getting too deep into a case that’s not really in our field anymore. But it was hard to make him angry. He leaned back in his chair, finally letting go of the keyboard and put his hands behind his head.

“I mean they won’t be able to do autopsy unless the prosecutor orders so or they get some report that might point towards murder. But because the evidence seems definite, it’s likely they will close it down in a few days. So I don’t know what to say…” explained Sergeant Lee with a calm voice and then he sank deep into his thoughts. His mouth even fell open a little while he was reading over the report and was probably thinking about what I just said. In the meantime, Jihoon dragged me towards the TV and went back to watch the news. There was nothing new yet in the Seo girl case.

Heechul - Seoul, South Korea - August 31st, 2018

“This folder with forty pages of report on the Choi murder case can bring our news channel to the biggest spotlight on national television. No other reporters have their hands on such evidence on the matter, only me. Yet you are telling me to quit it?” I shouted at my boss who was sitting behind his expensive mahogany desk. I wanted to kick it and push the whole damn thing on him.

“Reporter Kim, please calm down or if not I will have to fire you and have you removed from the building with the help of security,” he said with his cold toneless voice. I wanted to grab onto his shirt and shake him until he says yes to my request. But of course, I couldn’t do that.

“I have spent so much time on gathering all this information, yet you are refusing it… I’m very disappointed. You will regret this one day when the other news channels bring the story to light, you will be like ah Kim Heechul, that pathetic guy, he was actually right. I should have let him do his job properly,” I yelled then I shut the door behind me.

All of my colleagues who were sitting at their desks were staring at me. They were not used to see goofball idiot Kim Heechul be this aggressive and serious about something. They only saw me as a person they wanted to see. That person that pleases their boring days and makes them laugh with his perverted childish jokes. But I had another side. That side that wanted justice and I had the ambition to pull through it. Only that I had a stubborn boss who was like a rock in the middle of the road who didn’t let me go on with my drive. And there was no other way to go around him. After all, he was the editor, the one who controlled what can be reported and what couldn’t.

There was nothing wrong with my report, only that they were not confirmed by the government yet. All the information I had in hand came directly from the private detective who was working on the case. I just wanted to bring justice and wanted to show people the truth about the Choi family. But it didn’t seem to be working.

“Having a rough day?” I heard a familiar voice as I entered the restroom to refresh myself. Jungsoo came in right after me and he didn’t seem like he was in need to use the bathroom, he was more in the need to annoy me.

“As you can see… I just don’t understand why he doesn’t let me report it,” I complained while I dabbed a paper towel on my face. I could see it in the mirror that more wrinkles appeared on my face since I was working on this case.

“It’s because your source doesn’t seem reliable and he doesn’t want to scare the nation by releasing information that might not be true. Imagine telling the people that the accident that everyone was so sure about was actually a murder. But then a few weeks later we would tell them, sorry but it was a mistake. It really was an accident. Then do you think they would continue to listen to our reports? Would they still find us reliable?” Jungsoo asked while raising his eyebrows. He had a point and he always talked in a way that could convince even the most stubborn person. But I had my own take on it.

“But my sources are reliable. The detective…”

“I know the detective is one of the best detectives if not the best in Korea, but do you have a direct contact with him? Did he give you permission to tell about how his investigation going?” pressed further Jungsoo and I shook my head. “You don’t tell me and not even the boss how you get your information so how are we supposed to know if it’s reliable?”

“Okay Jungsoo, I know. You are 100% right. I just hoped the boss will give me a chance just once,” I sighed and I was finally able to calm down. This time Jungsoo didn’t annoy me as much, he was actually able to talk some sense to me. But that didn’t mean I would stop with the case.

“I think you should get something to eat and maybe you should take a nap in the conference room. From two in the afternoon no one going to use it,” he added and I thanked him then I left to look for my assistant.

“Seungkwan-ah, where the hell are you?” I shouted then suddenly his head popped out from behind a computer. He was watching some videos with the other interns and they were not doing any work in particular.

“I’m sorry sunbaenim, I was just taking a break,” he confessed and I waved my hand.

“No worries, I’m already having a rough day so I’m not in the mood to be mad at you,” I said, which made him straighten up a bit more.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” He asked politely and I nodded.

“Can you bring me some coffee and fried chicken? I will be in the conference room, probably taking a nap so just leave it there,” I said then before I left I turned back to him, “oh and when you become a reporter remember to…”

“…not follow any dumb decisions that you make like taking a nap in the conference room,” Seungkwan finished my sentence and I just laughed. His sassy attitude was one of the reason’s why he was assigned to me and why we got along so well.

“That’s my smart assistant,” I replied and then left him behind.

In the conference room I pushed four chairs together so I could comfortably stretch out my limbs then I added four more chairs facing the others to give a wider space to my body. I tried everything I could. I listened to meditation music, I took deep breaths. I even drew the curtains in to block the sunlight, but nothing helped. I just couldn’t fall asleep.

Twenty minutes later I heard the door open. At first, I thought it might be one of my colleagues so I pretended to sleep. But then I heard Seungkwan’s low whisper and I quickly sat up straight on my bed of chairs. This made Seungkwan and his companion jump.

“Sunbaenim, you looked like a zombie who just woke up from his grave, it was really scary,” said the other intern, putting his hand on his chest. At first, I laughed because I truly found it funny, but then I put on my serious face which made him fear me even more.

“So are you telling me I look that shitty?” I asked and he immediately shook his head.

“No sir,” he said then he gulped.

“Seokmin, I’m just fooling with you,” I said with a smile and he let out a deep sigh, “I know Jungsoo is a boring dude so he is not the type to prank you and fool around. I feel bad for you,” I said while reaching out for the fried chicken which Seungkwan pushed into my direction on the huge oval table.

“But at least he is kind and doesn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed on every other day,” added Seungkwan which made me stop in mid-air while opening up my food.

“Ah so you mean I’m a douchbag every other day, then why don’t you ask the editor to remove you from me and be assigned to the almighty Park Jungsoo?” I asked with an emotionless tone while knowing deep inside that Seungkwan was right.

“You know I’m just joking with you, sunbae, I would never betray my fabulous mentor,” replied Seungkwan and I shook my head with a smile. Then he formed a heart with his fingers and showed it towards me.

“Don’t ever tell anyone the time we danced to girl group dances. You know that I was pretty drunk that time,” I warned him but Seokmin’s face lit up.

“Awesome, I have to tell this to Jungsoo sunbaenim,” he said then he ran out of the room.

“You see, I didn’t even tell that to my best friend. I’m loyal,” said Seungkwan and I just rolled my eyes.

“It’s not as if Jungsoo doesn’t know about it… he saw me dance like that more than he saw actual girl groups dance to them,” I grumbled while I started to eat my lunch. Finally, it felt like salvation. At then the coffee was a cup of paradise.

“You know each other for such a long time, I think for a longer time than my parents know each other,” remarked Seungkwan and I looked up at him questioningly.

“So are you saying that we are like a married couple?”

“You just said it yourself, I didn’t,” he raised his hand in a sign of protest then he took a few steps towards the door. But before he left I had to drop the secret that no one knew at the newsroom.

“Okay, but when you spend your college years together, many weird stuff can happen. And by that I mean I saw Jungsoo dressed up as a woman with a long blue wig and high heels that even models can barely walk in,” I brought up that one time and it felt like it was just yesterday.

“No way…” gasped Seungkwan then he came closer to me. “Do you have evidence of it?

“Of course! But I will only show them to you if you do your work well and don’t spend too much time doing useless stuff on the computer with Mr. Handsome Wild Smile,” I said as a warning. Seungkwan nodded in agreement then he hurriedly left the room.

I let out a loud chuckle and then I continued with my food. I liked these two interns because they were both funny guys but they were also working diligently when they did not get distracted by the stupid idol culture. But I couldn’t stop thinking about my case. The Choi boy, who was in the middle of all this was probably around the same age as my two young goofballs. I wondered what he did after his parents died. For sure, he couldn’t let it go, that’s why he hired the best detective out there.

Seungcheol - Budapest, Hungary - August 31st, 2018

Budapest was a beautiful city in the middle of Europe holding countless stories from history; for some, the nation felt proud of but there were many events that they wished would have happened differently.

I felt the same way. I was proud of my family and of the company now I was running. But there were so many things I regretted, especially my behavior towards my parents. I mean I wasn’t a rebellious kid, but there were days when I didn’t appreciate enough the things they did for me. And now I can’t thank them.

On the last day of August, I was sitting at a café in the center of Buda, which was one of the two parts of the Central European capital. I was eating some kind of Hungarian cake, which name didn’t stick in my mind, while I faced the private detective I hired. He had a friendly face with large dark eyes and a wide warm smile but his personality contradicted from his appearance. There was something cold about the way he spoke and considering the fact that he was only six years older than me but was Korea’s number one detective meant he was a determined detective.

“Seungcheol, what are you thinking about?” He asked me and I could tell he was trying to read my thoughts, but I believed he wasn’t that smart just yet.

“I was thinking about if we will ever going to get to the end of this investigation,” I said and he nodded while he sipped from his porcelain coffee cup. The sun was beautifully shining down on the church that we were sitting opposite of, but we were able to hide in the shade which was provided by the café’s enormous umbrella. In the background, I could hear someone playing on the piano but I had no clue where the sound was coming from.

“Of course we can. I know you think I have been here for too long but I did progress in the case. Don’t be impatient. We will find who killed your parents,” he said it and his tone towards the end became stone cold. I hated it whenever he said it like that. He didn’t have to remind me why I hired him.

“You know I’m paying you a lot of money and my time too, so that’s why I’m being concerned,” I explained to him, which made him smile.

“I know money is not an issue to the Choi family, so what really bothers you?,” he asked but I didn’t answer to him right away. I knew it that he will figure it out on his own with his quick-witted mind. I think I was able to see the moment when it clicked into his head. He slowly leaned forward on the table and lowered his voice, as if any Hungarians would understand our Korean conversation. Maybe one in a ten thousand if not more. “You want to revenge whoever did that to your parents quickly, right? You have been wanting to destroy whoever did that to your family for over a year now and you are getting very impatient, aren’t you?”

“What would you do in my place? Wouldn’t you have the desire to choke whoever did it with your own hands?” I asked while I raised my hand. Kyuhyun sat back in his seat and arrogantly smiled at me.

“We are different people, but if that’s what motivates you. As long as you pay me I don’t care what you do with the person who I find out to be the murderer, just give me time. I’m not going to slack off in my work,” he explained and I sighed. I needed to drink my coffee before I gave into him.

“Okay, I will be more patient,” I said then I finished eating my cake. The waitress came over to hand us our bill and as I paid at the counter inside the café, Detective Cho had a quick phone call with his assistant.

“Isn’t it interesting that my assistant is the same age as you? Maybe one time the two of you should sit down and have a chat while I do some more investigation that only needs one person,” he said as I exited the café. I looked up at him, as he was a bit taller than me, and I frowned.

“So you want me to babysit your assistant while you can do some fishy work that he should not know about?” I asked while I raised my voice a bit.

“Listen, my assistant is a really nice guy, he likes to follow rules. He would not like to know about me breaking into the parliament,” Detective Cho stated as if it was nothing.

“You what?” I started to shout but he shushed me.

“It’s nothing big. I have my ways. I once broke into the White House so the Hungarian Parliament probably won’t be any harder,” he shrugged then he went over to the main street to catch a taxi.

“Detective Cho, I would like to remind you that if you get into prison here, for my lawyer it’s going to be very hard to get you out,” I called after him and he turned around with opening his arms wide.

“What can I do? Afterall, you hired me to do my job and I promised you to do everything in order to find the murderer.” He started to walk back towards me as he was looking down at his phone.

“Fine,” I tried to close down our conversation but Kyuhyun looked at me with an alarmed face. He raised his phone so I could see its screen and the text message that came on it. It was from his assistant, whose name now I knew was Hong Jisoo.

“By any chance, you know the famous artist Kim Yesung, right?” Detective Cho asked as he took out his notebook with a fancy silver pen.

“Yes, of course, I know him. My parents bought a bunch of his art into their gallery. They were always proud to have such a talented Korean modern artist,” I said without thinking anything more about the situation.

“Interesting…” Detective Cho mumbled as he wrote something down in his notebook. “Just in case I’m going to do a little investigation. I don’t think he was questioned by anyone.”

“But why would he do anything to my parents when they were his loyal buyers?”

“In cases like this, you can never be sure. But don’t worry, I’m not going to make it embarrassing for him or something, I don’t want you to be on awkward terms, especially if he is innocent. So I should go back… that guy is here again,” Detective Cho stated while he pointed towards a boy sitting at a bus stop.

“Oh Junhui… he is so determined,” I chuckled.

“I told him countless times that I don’t want any reports on my case just yet. But he is not determined, he is following orders.” Sighed the detective then he started to go towards the boy. I followed closely behind him.

“Kim Heechul is one hell of a stubborn reporter, huh?” Detective Cho asked the boy as he was leaning to the bus stop’s poll. Junhui looked a bit flustered then he quickly snapped a picture of the detective and I. The flash blinded both of our eyes and during that second he quickly ran away.

“Oh great,” I glanced at his direction after I blinked my eyes.

“There is always something that makes my job more difficult, you see what I’m dealing with?”

“Detective Cho…”

“I told you already to call me Kyuhyun. At this point now I know so much about your personal life that it just feels wrong to not be on more informal terms,” he said with a warm smile on his face. He is just a really puzzling person. Sometimes he is cold as a snake and even scary with his warm smile while saying something disturbing but other times he can be a warm person and show nice emotions.

“Okay, Kyuhyun hyung, please just do what you can asap. And fine… if you have to break into the parliament, just do it. I will contact my uncle- I mean my lawyer, just in case something happens he should be alert,” Kyuhyun patted my shoulder which meant he appreciated my words. Then he went to the side of the road and he finally caught a taxi.

I took a deep breath and I was ready to walk towards the hotel where I booked a suite. I was following the sound of the piano. This time it wasn’t peaceful. I think it sounded more like Vivaldi’s Summer composition. It made me feel tense and I tried to leave the sound behind as soon as I could. But then suddenly my phone started to buzz. It was a call from New York.

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