Tumgik
#this is a songfic I swear
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me: what a beautiful uplifting song this is, let me look up the lyrics
the song, about the comfort of suicide:
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urmomsfavelesbian · 5 months
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12 17 36 69
12- top dog by magdalena bay I LOVE THAT FUCKING SONG did you know willow once took molly at a mag slay concert and made out with everyone do you know that does everyone know that it’s my roman empire
17- thursday girl by mitski there’s so much mitski on my top 100 i have Borderline Personality Disorder
36- mariners apartment complex by lana which was pretty strictly a last year song so i’m surprised it carried over !!
69- she’s my religion by pale waves oh my fucking GOD that song,,,daya posted that video advertising her shameless display of a shirt and it became a dayasco song and i played it on a loop for like 3 days straight and then i’m guessing i did that again this year at some point (i know i did) (it gives me so many fic ideas that every time it’s played i’ve had to get out of the shower and furiously type all my sudden ideas in my notes)
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mxcat777 · 1 year
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So I'm going through my music, doing some clean up, and just...
Holy shit, Counting Stars by OneRepublic is so fitting for Hob Gadling, change my fucking mind...
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officersnickers · 1 year
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sometimes you just have to listen to the last 1,5 minutes of ‘Defying Gravity’ in german in full volume and suddenly everythings okay again
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dorotheataylor · 15 days
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You are in Love
Pairing- Gojo Satoru x fem!Reader
Summary- The three times he realised he loved you, and the one time he said it. Inspired by You are in Love (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.
Warnings- Its just fluff, a little angst if you squint? SATORU IS WHIPPED (hes so cute😭), best friends to lovers romance, Shoko and Suguru playing cupids, whipped satoru (yes this warning again), swearing (its only one word but still), no curses!au, modern!au, my poor english :p
Word Count- 3.5k words
A/N- Whenever I listen to Taylor, either this guy or his best friend pop up in my head. Like the amount of times I think about them is so insane and I can’t help it anymore. Anyways, here’s another songfic (is this even a surprise atp?) based on another Taylor’s song coz i love that woman so much. Alsoooo it’s my birthday today! And what is better than writing a fic abt your man on your birthday? So I hope y’all enjoy this little birthday gift from me!
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The first time Satoru realised he loved you was when you were in college together. It was the last day of the semester before everyone bid farewell to each other and went home for the holiday season. You and him were walking along one pathway coming back from your Christmas shopping, snow falling softly around everyone’s body, and a chill in the air that made everyone want to snuggle up beside the fireplace in their houses.
Suguru and Shoko had joined you both too but then excused themselves to leave you two alone, hoping that the romantic ambiance of the holiday season would finally give Satoru the confidence to tell you how he felt.
To say he was a nervous wreck was an understanding. He had spent the whole afternoon talking to himself in the mirror, practicing what he would say so that he won't stumble on his words and ruin the moment.
He didn't have a problem talking to you as he normally does; you were his best friend after all, like Suguru and Shoko, but once he tries to tell you that you make his heart beat faster, make butterflies flood his stomach, it makes him lose all his senses. Suguru had to drag him out of his room, complaining about waiting for 'thirty fucking minutes' already.
Eventually, he met you and Shoko at the front gate of his house and walked with you towards the mall. The entire day, he felt so jittery, like he couldn’t stay still. You remained oblivious to the fact that Satoru was about ready to burst from the inside from how nervous he was.
Suguru and Shoko, on the other hand, couldn’t contain their laughter. By the time the sky began to fade into the night sky, Suguru and Shoko decided that now was as good of a time than ever and made up an excuse to leave the two of you alone. 
Now here you were, walking beside Satoru, bundled up in your white scarf, and the cutest red blush on the tip of your nose. You readjusted your beanie, looking up at him to start conversation. Satoru felt his words get stuck in his throat, unable to remember how to speak with you staring up at him with the twinkle of oblivion in your eye.
"Toru?" you asked bumping your shoulder with him, noticing his uneasy expressions as you wrapped an arm around yourself to get some warmth as the snow had started to fall little more harshly, "am I that boring that your mind had to drift somewhere else?"
"God no." He blushed, finally able to say something without stumbling. Without thought, he wrapped one of his arm around you, bringing you closer to him. You sighed in content, melting into him and Satoru swore his heart swelled three times its size.
The snow crunched under your boots as you walked up the path. The lights lining the cobblestone street gave a yellow tint to the sight. He walked with you in silence but in his head, he was going over exactly what he wanted to say. This was the perfect time.
The snow falling from the sky, little snowflakes tangled in the strands of your hair. You were pressed up against his chest, so close to him that he could smell your perfume, sweet and addicting. There were no other people around, all too eager to find sanctuary in warmth that their houses brought. It was the perfect time.
He stopped walking, halting you with him. He let you go for a moment, taking a deep breath in and slowly let it out. You watched as the cloud of fog escaped his lips and dispersed into the air. His white hair poked out from under his hoodie, matted on his forehead. Satoru looked down at his wet boots, kicking around snow that pooled around the soles.
Finally, he looked up, taking your two hands into his palms in the process. 
You smiled at the gesture, your heart fluttering in your chest. You looked at him, offering a comforting look as you raised your eyebrows up in suspicion, “What’s up, Toru?”
And just like that, all of the words he worked so hard to conjure up, slipped right out of his mind. When he saw you looking up at him, eyebrows raised, cheeks and nose tinted with a light shade of pink, and your lips plump and red, he realized that there were no words to describe what it was he felt about you.
You watched him in silence, studying the way he gave you a lopsided smile when you tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear. He leaned into your touch, letting out another sigh of relief. 
“Nothing,” he finally spoke, letting go of your hands. He wrapped his arm around you again, hoping you won’t hear the marching of his heart in his chest. “You’re my best friend.”
-
The second time he realised he loved you was when he found you crying on your couch. He had came to check on you when you didn’t come over for the routine movie night. Every Saturday, you, him, Suguru and Shoko got together at each other’s places for movie nights. Laughter, jokes, entertainment, talks, drinks and what not went on full night and the next day all of you were passed out on either couch or the floor.
Today everyone was coming over at Satoru’s place. Suguru and Shoko were already there but when it kept getting late, Satoru became worried about you. Shoko tried assuring him you were okay, just stuck in some work but he wouldn’t believe it. Because you were time punctual and never missed the movie nights.
So he came over to yours and opened your door with the spare key you’d given him only to find you curled up in your couch, crying.
He immediately rushed over to you and wrapped his arms around you tightly as you held onto him. He didn’t say anything but stayed there, holding you, feeling his heart break as you sobbed into his chest.
A few moments later, when he felt you relaxing a little, he took your face in his hands as he asked, “better?”
You just nodded as you snuggled into him. Neither of you two said anything, a comfortable silence, just sitting there on your couch, engulfing each other, enjoying each other’s company.
“Now tell me what happened?” he asked softly when your crying had quieted down, afraid you might break again.
“It’s nothing. I just- its too much. Work, studies, family, everything. I just got too overwhelmed and just couldn’t keep it in anymore. And I had nobody present here for me to tell me that its okay or listen about what I felt.” You said now realising what mess you had made and quite embarrassed that Satoru had to see you this vulnerable. “God this is embarrassing! I’m so sorry.”
“Hey look at me.” He said, cupping your cheeks to make you look at him when you didn’t. “Everyone in this world has a vulnerable side. Everyone on this planet has things which is maybe too much overwhelming for them that they might just break at any point. Just like you did. But don’t ever apologise for this. Because none of it is your fault. Okay? And I’m always here for you. Even if you’re far away, I’ll always be there. You’re not alone, okay?”
You just nodded and gave him the smile he adored so much. And without saying anything else, he wrapped both of his arms around you once again, letting you rest your head on his chest. He kissed your forehead and hummed in content as you snuggled even closer to him if possible.
And as he looked down at the girl in his arms, he realised this is what he wanted for the rest of his life. He loved you. 
-
The third time he realised he loved you was after summer. He hadn’t talked or heard from you since 4 months.
You left without a goodbye or a message to god knows where. He'd tried searching for you but always ended up getting disappointed. Suguru and Shoko missed you too. They had helped him to find you too but to no avail. It was like you’d disappeared into thin air.
Satoru often wondered if you ever thought about him like he did, if you missed him like he did. He knew you were probably out there pursuing your dream career, which you'd always talked about and wanted to do, but a part of him wanted to be there with you. To support and cheer for you at every step you take, to give you advices, to have late night celebration for your achievements. Call him selfish and everything. Everyday that passed, he cursed himself for not telling you how he felt before you left. Would it have made any difference? He’d like to think so. Even if it didn’t, he, at least, wouldn’t have to live every single day thinking: “What if?”
He kept a picture of you in his office. He often looked at it whenever he was free, always wondering how you were doing, if you were okay or not. Suguru and Shoko always found this sight pitful. They had tried to get him to move on, but all of them knew that Satoru was so in love with you and you were special to all three of them and that nobody could ever take your place.
It wasn’t until six months later when you stumbled into the building, chewing nervously on your bottom lip. A part of you knew you didn’t have the right to be there because you left them with no warning. You wouldn’t blame them if they asked you to leave the premises the minute their eyes landed on you. You knew you deserved the cold shoulder. Because if they were the ones who did that to you, you knew you wouldn’t be so forgiving.
The receptionist had told you to wait while she checked if the three of them were free or not. As you waited, you smiled sadly at the memories of last six months. You had gone for higher studies, as your dad had promised, for your dream career. You knew you should’ve at least informed someone before you left but everything happened just so fast that one moment your dad had agreed on your consent and the next moment you were on the plane.
Surely you enjoyed the studies and training period there, Paris being busy in days and nights, but having really nice places to visit. You would always go to the Eiffel tower, watching the sunset, half expecting for Satoru to wrap his arm around your waist but whenever you turned your head you’d always met with empty space. Whenever you came home exhausted, you always expected Satoru to be there with dinner ready and him greeting you with a welcome home kiss.
That’s why you came back. To be in his arms. To be able to kiss him. To be able to call him yours. Because you’d realise that your life was nothing if Gojo Satoru wasn’t in it.
The receptionist told you to go upstairs at floor 5 but as you were about to click the lift button, you heard someone running on the stairs. You turned to look who it was and your eyes locked with a pair of blue ones which were close to home. He just looked at you and slowly stepped towards you as you did the same.
When you were both closer to each other, he brought his hand up, touching your cheeks delicately as if making sure you were real.
Satoru couldn’t believe it. When the receptionist called him and said that someone named Y/N L/N was here to meet him, he left all his works and ran downstairs. And now that he’d seen you, he was mesmerised and shocked. Shocked because you were really here and mesmerised because you looked even more beautiful than before. He touched your cheeks delicately, making sure you were really here and not another one of his hallucinations. And then without another thought he took you into his arms and held you tight and closer to him, now promising himself to never let you go. All the feelings he still had for you, tripled. His heart rumbled in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Even after all this time, he was still so in love with you.
“No need to tell me where you were. Because I already know.” You were tearing up as you finally felt complete in his arms and realised how much you loved him.
“Don’t ever leave me like that again.” He said as he was starting to tear up too. He loved you so much and the thought of being apart once again was killing him.
“I won’t. Ever again. I promise.”
-
It didn’t take long for Satoru to tell you how he felt after you came back. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. Every moment that he didn’t get to call you his, chipped his heart. Both Shoko and Suguru were growing tired of it, encouraging him to just say it because they were sure you felt the same. He tried to ignore them, not wanting to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help but think about how amazing it would feel if you told him you loved him back.
You came over to Satoru’s for dinner that night, Suguru insisted that they all missed you too much to go out to a restaurant. After dinner and catching up with everyone, you and Satoru excused yourselves and walked out in the garden. His hands were in his pockets, unable to look at you for more than a few seconds at a time. He’s been practicing what to say to you since years and yet, he still felt unprepared.
You were walking silently beside him, taking in the silence and calmness of the life you’re living now. You no longer had to worry about anything, just the day to day necessities, and your feelings for Satoru. Subconsciously, you intertwined your fingers with his snuggling up to his side for some warmth.
He froze for a moment. This is it, he thought, this is the perfect moment. So before he lost his confidence, he spoke, “Y/N, I have something to tell you.”
“Yes, Toru?” you asked, rubbing your thumb over the top of his hand. “What is it?”
There it was. He missed it. He missed the way you called him ‘Toru’. And now finally hearing it from you made his heart skip many beats.
He held you in your place, stopping in the middle of a field of flowers. The moon illuminated one side of your face, showing off your perfect features. Satoru smiled, reaching over to caress your cheekbone. With tears in his eyes, he said, “I love you.”
You gasped softly, looking up at him, “What?”
“I’m in love with you, Y/N,” Satoru sighed, connecting his forehead with yours. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a breathy laugh, “I’ve been in love with you for so long.”
You slowly brought your hand to his face and cupped his cheek as he melted in your touch. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I was afraid of what you'd say. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and lose you. I just thought that maybe if you didn't love me like that, I'd still have you. Even if it's just as your best friend."
"Then why now?" you asked, you voice getting even quieter. He kissed the palm of your hand as he met your eyes.
"Because after all those years of crushing on you, all those months of not being able to see you or be in your arms, made me realise how much in love I was with you. All those six months, you consumed all of my thoughts, your laughter was all I could hear in my silent nights, your smile was all I could see everywhere I went. And not being able to tell you how much I loved you was killing me." He finished, tears flowing uncontrollably from his eyes.
You didn't know when your eyes started tearing up. All you knew was how much you loved him at this moment. Him confessing all his feelings for you, so vulnerably. It made you realise how much you just wanted to hold him and never let him go.
So you said, "I'm in love with you too, Satoru."
At first he thought his ears were playing tricks on him. You loved him back? His eyes shot open, pulling away from you as he stared at you in disbelief. “Y-you love me?”
"Yes, you idiot." You chuckled through your tears, pulling him closer. Your lips ghosted over his, causing him to shiver. "I've been in love with you for a really long time as well."
"I'm really an idiot, aren't I?" he said, laughing a little.
"Yes, you are. But you're my idiot."
And with that, he kissed you. All those years where he hid his feelings came pouring out in this one kiss. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling your face closer to his like there was any more space between the two of you to close. Your arms looped around his neck, his one hand snaked down to your waist to steady you while one still remained on your cheek. He kissed you, pouring in all his regrets, mistakes, apprehensions, into his love, no longer wanting to pass up an opportunity to love you for the rest of his life.
And when he pulled back for air, he had the biggest smile on his face. "I'm the luckiest man on this earth." You pecked him again as you gave him your biggest grin.
On your way back home, you could feel it, you could hear it in the silence, you could see it with the lights out in the garden. It lingered between you two, suffocating you but it was the best feeling ever. Gojo Satoru is in love with you. You are in love.
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osaemu · 6 months
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OSAMU DAZAI: ❛❛ FALSE GOD ❜❜
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.ೃ࿐ dazai's far from the perfect boyfriend, and you're not the perfect girlfriend either. NSFW
contents: fem!reader. gets kinda angsty but nothin' major. toxic undertones. not a songfic but there's one line from false god included. mostly cunniligus. kinda self-indulgent.
author's note: obscure ending, interpret it however u want.
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osamu dazai is a cynic, and he has no shame in admitting that.
every word you say and every man you smile at, dazai knows. behind those coffee-brown eyes lie a calculated gaze, and it's fixated on you. it's as if you're nothing more than another pawn in his games — just another player for dazai to manipulate at his will.
dazai figures that it's just human nature. everyone has their own motives, and everyone has their own secrets. being raised by the mafia, he's practically been trained to analyze every move made by another. after all, since he can't read minds, he has to assume that even you can't possibly be this good to him.
one day, when you bring him lunch at the agency, he asks what you'd like in return. you pause, a bit confused, before shaking your head and replying that it wasn't meant to come off that way. dazai insists that he do you a favor or something in return in order to avoid being indebted to you.
it stings, really, the idea that dazai thinks that your relationship is nothing more than a contract. and after weeks go on with dazai's suspicious eyes boring into your back every time you do a favor for him, you finally tell him so. you tell him what you thought you'd never have to tell him — that you don't have any ulterior motives in dating him.
dazai disagrees.
"i can't talk to you when you're like this," you murmur, shaking your head. and you really can't. honestly it's frustrating and draining — you don't want to have to prove to dazai night after night that you aren't with him for anything else than him.
your boyfriend's eyes narrow slightly, and clearly, he's trying to find your angle. is this a ploy to gain sympathy from him? or are you trying to guilt-trip him into doing something for you later? whatever it is, dazai decides that the best course of action would be to leave. for now, at least. he'll come back when you're asleep.
"okay."
dazai turns and leaves, going off to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what. you're left standing in the doorway, dumbfounded and not sure where to go from here.
two wineglasses and three hours later, he returns and finds you passed out on the couch. under any other circumstances, dazai'd be worried, but there's a trashy romcom playing in the background and a half-empty wine bottom on the table, so he figures that you're fine.
he walks over, careful not to wake you. dazai holds a bouquet of pink roses in one hand, and he uses the other to gently caress your cheek.
"god, you're so dramatic," dazai whispers, eyes trailing over your drowsy figure. his words are laced with muted affection, as if he can't find a way to express it without a petty insult on top of it. and well, maybe you are somewhat dramatic, but the way he sees it, he'd rather make up now than drag this on later. he sets down the bouquet and kneels down to your level, and the faint scent of whiskey lingers in the air.
"i wish i could be your perfect boyfriend," dazai says quietly, trailing his fingers through your hair. "but i just can't be, and if you want me to leave, i will."
dazai knows you're awake and listening to every word, and he also knows that you don't underestimate him. he's confident that you're aware that he knows you're not actually asleep, but for the sake of the moment, he gives you that choice. you can either keep pretending to sleep and brush him off, or you can open your eyes.
you open your eyes.
maybe you're just a hopeless romantic, but you could swear that a soft, relieved sigh escapes dazai's lips. lips that are now on yours as dazai attempts to make up for all the times he's pushed you away. and it's likely that even now, dazai won't change. he never does, no matter how many promises he makes. but it's nice that for once, he's trying to make up for what he's lost. even if it isn't much.
but you do get pretty close to forgiving him when his mouth isn't the only part of him on you. dazai's slender fingers make quick work of his coat as he tosses it to the side, eyes focused on you, only you. he doesn't have time to wonder if this is what you wanted all along of if it's just the sex scene in the romcom that's making him do this, but one thing leads to another and soon he's eating you out, tongue turning the edges of your vision white.
if you had doubts about the existence of heaven before, they were gone now. you swear you can see stars as dazai eats you out, and the lewd sounds that fall from your lips are downright sinful. you beg for more, more, more, and dazai obeys, giving you everything that you ask for.
it's funny how weeks of underlying tension can be eliminated in the span of an hour, but if there's anyone who could do it, it'd be dazai. as his tongue flicks in and out of your drenched cunt, your ability to form cohesive words vanishes, and all you're left with is his name.
"god, 'samu, please don't stop," you gasp, hands tangled in his hair as he looks up at you from his spot in between your thighs. his mouth has always worked wonders on you, whether it's through his poetic words or if it's through his skillful tongue, and now is no different.
your chest heaves as the coil in your stomach tightens as you feel yourself getting closer to your breaking point. you're entirely convinced that the world's stopped around you, and that there's nothing but you, dazai, and his lips in the universe.
if death was like what you were feeling right now, then by all means, you were entirely willing to give up your life for pleasure like this. the feeling of transcendence from your spot beneath dazai to a world above was unlike any other, and only dazai could take your hand and lead you there.
"eyes on me, darling," dazai murmurs, voice barely audible over the smutty noises coming out of your mouth. somehow, his voice is steady, and if you weren't so fucked out, you'd overthink this by leaps and bounds.
you chant his name like a prayer as you fight to keep your eyes open. you want nothing more than to tilt your head back and close your eyes, but somehow, you're certain dazai would end this torturous, hedonistic moment if you were to disregard his words.
blind faith was stupid, so stupid, but times like these would make you follow dazai anywhere. his words, his lips, his eyes, all of it. who were you, a mere mortal, to resist his decadent charms?
"more," you whisper.
he gives you more. dazai fucks you until your vision is hazy and you can't feel anything but him, and when you finally start to come down from your hour-long high, you're met with the sound of his sultry laugh.
"you wanted this, didn't you?" dazai breathes, eyeing you intently.
you nod, unable to do much more than that. dazai hums in reply, lean body collapsing on top of you. his mind is spinning, processing thousands of little details and thoughts all at once. his head hurts, his body's sore, and he's tired and ready to sleep, but one look at your fucked-out smile and he's hungry for more.
dazai presses his lips to your bare shoulder, and maybe you're imagining it, but you sense an undertone of self-satisfaction in what he whispers next.
"that's what i thought."
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nrdmssgs · 10 months
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Hello id like to humbly request a scenario with König where y/n previously went MIA, and is assumed dead. König is sent on a hostage rescue mission and when he gets there finds out not only is she alive, but she’s one of the hostages he’s there to rescue 🩷 i ADORE your writing!
Masterlist
Angst, hurt/comfort
Pairing: König x afab reader
TW: Mention of alcohol, several mentions of grief and depression, mentions of injuries, mention of human trafficking, swearing.
Authors note: I've tried to keep all the disturbing stuff very mild, but I can't help but see, as the readers` alleged death would absolutely crush König. Sorry for taking so long. I love this request so much, I can't stop thanking you, dear anon. Love you! This is actually kinda songfic, so if anybody needs music for this one: here you are.
Scarlet shell
“König, listen to me! Please! There is no body! There is nothing, we could possibly miss here!” His squad mate is trying to catch up with König, but it's impossible: he moves forward, maneuvering, between cargo transports at incredible speed.
How many times did he search for you past days? More precisely, how many dozens of times? 
He searched every centimeter of the perimeter where you worked, checked literally everywhere.
He did not take breaks for food or sleep. His team gradually lost strength, but he did not give up: he continued to circle around the place where the explosion thundered on that fateful night.
Koenig could not bring himself to stop and admit the obvious: if you were at the epicenter at the time of the explosion, only a damp shadow on the ground and a couple of scraps of clothing could remain from your body.
You don't need to talk if you don't feel like it, my love. Please never feel sorry for staying silent around me. Never beat up yourself. We all are born different, we walk different paths: your journey has made you waste most of the words we could have shared very early. It sometimes happens so, I know. The truth is that you don't have to put into words what you feel when you are next to me: I see it all in your eyes. You have reached such perfection in these silent speeches that I am ready to sit and listen to you endlessly. Even if "listening" means just looking into your eyes.
At first, he can't make himself come into your room. He comes to the door, holds out his hand and, after standing there for a while, turns around.
He needs to collect your belongings, make room for a new resident. But König can't gather enough strength.
When he finally forces himself into your room, a deafening silence engulfs him: your voice no longer here, your laughter, even your breathing is no longer heard.
König starts to collect your things, putting them carefully in a cardboard box: clothes, equipment, books, small utensils. All this absorbed your smell, your warmth. Every single item seems to burn his fingers.
He doesn't know how long it takes before he gives up: it hurts so much, he feels the pain on a physical level. 
Your shirt falls on the edge of the box. He brushes his fingers against your blanket and pillow. König kneels, then curls up right on the floor, ignoring the dust.
“Meine… meine…*” He can't even say your name - it gets stuck right in his throat, choking him. He never had enough words, when you were around, and he hates himself for that. But now, he loses even your name.
Sometimes I just think about words. Yesterday I looked at you and thought of the beautiful word you taught me: “die Hingabe” or "devotion". What is it in essence? Persistence and immutability in ones feelings, right? I was bored, so I googled this word. The search engine told me that it has approximately 195 million pages in its database that mention this word. Things were better with the word "honor" - almost 2 billion pages. With "love" - 11 billion pages. So love is 56 times more popular than devotion... Although it is clear that only a deeply devoted person can truly love, right?
Sometimes he hates it: his devotion to you does not weaken with time. A few years pass, and he learns to live in constant pain. Learns to wake up every morning, knowing well, he won't see your face. Grows accustomed to all-consuming silence and cold around him.
But what drives him to the limit is a constant urge to finish yet another mission, just to come back to the base, bury his face in your shirt and disappear completely in a slumber without thoughts.
Nothing helps: alcohol tastes like water, training doesn't leave him breathless and too weak to even think of you, no matter how hard he tries.
At some point, he even finds himself talking to another woman. She even takes his number, and sometimes they exchange warm and kind messages. He answers her automatically. 
Returning from their third meeting (he cant even call it a date), he realizes with horror that he does not remember her face.
There are no faces left in his life, except for one - that which he can neither see nor touch anymore. Your face.
My love, I see the scars, your traumas left on your body and in your mind. I know, it hurts. Every time, I ask you about them - I mean no further harm. You don't have to tell unless you are not ready. But I want you to see, that all those things didn't break you: you have not become the monster, you are scared of. There is still so much love, so much light in your hands. I want you to know, that the only reason, I'm asking you about your past traumas is that I want to fight them for you, to help you to heal. I'll fight for that love and light, you bear. Not to get them from you, never. But only for you to feel it all inside your heart.
König doesn't notice anything different. He just needed a new veil and didn't have any old black tshirts on hands.
So first he puts on a dark scarlet veil. It is still convenient. Then his old gloves are torn and he orders new ones... To match the color of the top.
It's just some gear, it doesn't affect anything. But rumors are spreading around the base.
"He's off the chain." 
"Did you see what he did to the hostiles on the last mission?" 
"That animal is unleashed." 
"We no longer have König - there is only the bloody beast under that veil" 
"I'm terrified by those red clothes whenever they flash somewhere on the battlefield. Fucking omen."
König ignores the whispers. He doesn't care. Is he more productive now? Well, maybe it's for better.
I keep writing you these silly letters, but I will never send them. I don't want to embarrass you with my chatter. I'll stack them in my drawer:  letter after letter, confession after confession. I told you the most important words a long time ago, but all this ... I don't want to think about the circumstances under which you could find these letters and read them. But if something does happen, remember: I am yours, from head to toe, completely yours. Even if I'm not next to you now - my body, my mind and my heart - yours. Love you.
His commanders tend not to send him on missions where he would have to interact with civilians. His approach to combat really becomes so brutal that bystanders and hostages run the risk of getting too severe moral trauma.
But when it comes to cleaning up an entire village, where people from all over the world are brought for human trafficking, they simply have no choice. They need the best of the best soldiers, and König tops the list.
And he justifies the title of the best: he sweeps through the village like a tornado, cleaning one room after another.
König is somehow merciful enough to rip the padlocks off the doors where the hostages were being held, make sure there are only civilians in the room, and move on to the next door and the next building.
He unleashes a wave of fury on his enemies, alternating quick kills with slow and painful ones. None of his team dares to speak to him.
When they report to him that the last building is cleared, and they can move back, he turns around with a predatory look.
The building where he stopped is immersed in silence. One of his people says something, but König only raises his finger to his lips and gestures that he is going to check the second floor.
He doesn't hear anything suspicious, doesn't see anything... But some inhuman instinct tells him that he's not alone here.
König tries to step quietly, but the old withered boards crackle treacherously under his feet.
He walks up to the back room on the second floor and pushes the door open. He remembers very well how he himself knocked out the lock some 15 minutes ago, but there was no one in the room ...
This time he comes in and takes a closer look. His eyes linger on the pile of dusty rags, carpets and gutted cushions on the floor.
It appears suspicious. He slowly approaches, pulls out a knife, and throws back several pillows at once.
What he sees makes him freeze in horror. Your face... He saw your face - emaciated, covered with cuts and bruises of all colors. You covered your mouth in horror with your hand, the faded skin tight around every bone, every joint. It seemed that even your eyes had lost almost all color: two dark gray abysses stared back at Koenig in fear of death.
You looked more like your own ghost, but that didn't matter. He very carefully lowered the knife to the ground.
"It's me." König unbuttoned his helmet and removed it and his veil. "It's me..."
You didn't answer. Only large tears glistened in the corners of your eyes.
“Meine Liebe*, it`s me.” He kept whispering, hoping to calm you down, while removing layer after layer of rags and pillows, covering your body.
He throws away tactical gloves and carefully inspects you to understand, if youre injured. His body trembles, his voice fails him and König proceeds to the only way, he can convince you, that you are safe at last: he takes you in his hands, carefully cradles your fragile body and presses kisses against tear stains on your cheeks. 
When his team finds him slowly rocking you in his hands, they step back, giving you two some privacy.
But they notice the bloody-red veil and gloves, laying on the floor as a cracked, broken and finally not needed shell.
*Meine - my *Meine Liebe - my love
745 notes · View notes
avalynlestrange · 9 months
Text
Opposite
Mattheo Riddle x Reader
Reader: she/her pronouns, no house mentioned but are friends with the Slytherin Squad and Hufflepuff Faction <3
youtube
Warnings: swearing, mentions of underage drinking, implied sex-no smut. It’s literally a sentence- (Please let me know if I missed any)
Category: Angst, One-Shot, Songfic, ex-boyfriend, on and off relationship, jealousy, no use of y/n
Summary: In which Mattheo has a new girlfriend and she looks nothing like you.
So y'all are in Hogsmeade now? Guess it's public.  You recall what Annlynn looks like and note that she has a face like that other girl you're in love with. The one in that movie you both watched again and again since it was his favourite. You scoff. ‘You knew I would see that. You knew I would notice.’ You think to yourself.
Request: anon requested
Author’s Note: I hope this is to your liking <3
Word Count: <2k
To The Library (Main Masterlist) To The Kitchen (WIPs) To emails i can't send fwd: Anthology To more Mattheo Riddle fics
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You are in the astronomy tower for your evening lesson, and you hear giggling next to you.
“Mattheo says I’m his type.”
Your ears prickle at the mention of his name. 
Oh, so you do have a type? And it's not me.
You brush off the memory of the argument you had with Mattheo the previous year when he would rather drink a shot than tell everyone at the party what his type was. That action stung even to the present day. You remember him defending himself saying that everyone knew you were his girlfriend and that he didn’t need to describe you. It still would have been nice to hear.
“He’s been writing to me all summer.” The same voice spills more tea to her friends.
Oh, so you can reply? Just to not me. 
All summer you had hoped that Mattheo would write to you taking back the harsh words exchanged in your heated break-up a few weeks before the holidays. You sent him a postcard from Paris saying you wished he was with you, but you never got a response. You didn’t think anything of it since it was just a postcard, and he never usually replies to them.
Ever since then, the closest you have ever had to talking was during potions where you asked him to pass the jar of bat wings.
That was a week ago.
You now hear the same group of voices ask about you, to which the girl responds, “He says he’s over her and wants something new. He’s so obsessed with my eyes.”
You can’t tell if she’s speaking loudly for your benefit, but you certainly know that she is aware of your vicinity now as Pansy swears at them and throws them the finger. You quickly grab your friend’s arm and gently move her away.
Despite your better judgement, you turn to look at the person speaking about your ex-boyfriend as you stride to the other side of the room.
‘If you wanted those colour eyes. I could have got contacts.’
“Ignore them. You deserve better anyways.” Pansy tries to reassure you. You nod in agreement, but you can’t shake the uneasiness you feel when you look at Mattheo and he’s looking at her.
⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾
“Pass me the butter?” Daphne requests. 
Your head feels faint and wobble the butter dish nearly dropping the lid, and the whole butter itself, into Pansy’s hot chocolate.
“That’s not the dairy I want in my cup.” Pansy jokes. She takes the dish off your hands and passes it over to Daphne.
“You look like a panda. Are you feeling alright?” Tracey asks, taking a bite out of her breakfast. She calls your name when you don’t reply. 
Your eyes give the great hall a once over and notice that the person haunting your nights is not at his usual seat with his friends. 
“He’s on a date in Hogsmeade.” Informed Susan. “I heard Annlynn brag about it last night in the common room.”
You saw Pansy glare at Susan.
“What? Ow! Why did you kick me?” Susan reaches down to rub her hurt shin.
So y'all are in Hogsmeade now? Guess it's public. 
You recall what Annlynn looks like and note that she has a face like that other girl you're in love with. The one in that movie you both watched again and again since it was his favourite. You scoff. ‘You knew I would see that. You knew I would notice.’ You think to yourself.
“Guys it’s fine. His loss and besides she looks nothing like me.” You can't really tell, should you be tryna take it as a compliment? It's kinda feeling like the opposite. You see your friends look at each other and then at you.
“Yes girly! Let’s go shopping and show him what he’s missing!” Pansy hypes you up as she raises her teacup and you all clink.
“Hear hear!”
⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾
Browsing the racks in Galdrags Wizardwear, you have two outfits on hangers in your hands. You head over to the mirror stand by the shop’s main window frame and alternate putting the outfits in front of you. Your eyes look outside, and you catch them holding hands.
With the mirror in front of you, you couldn’t help comparing yourself and the girl he has in his arms.
‘She looks nothing like me. So why do you look so happy?’
Now you think you get the cause of it. He was holding out to find the opposite. From your hair to your eyes to your style. Even when you changed your hair because he said you looked better if you had it styled that way. It’s all the opposite of her.
And you know now, even if you tried to change that somehow, he’d end up with her anyway.
You snap out of your head when Megan scares you from behind. “You’d look cute in either.”
“Get both!” You hear Millicent from the other side of the room.
You smile and it fades when you lock eyes with Mattheo.
⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾
He was with her longer than you thought they would be. It’s been weeks now. Gazing at the ceiling of your four-post bed, many questions swirl around your mind.
When you argue, does she say nothing so you feel good? When you’re at parties, does she step out of the spotlight so you bathe in it?  When you’re alone, does she get up on top of you more than I would? When you capture her in your sketchbook, does she just love the picture 'cause you're painting it?
“Are you coming?” Your dorm mate calls to you.
It’s the first official match of the year. Slytherin vs Gryffindor. Although you protested not attending and insisted you’d rather stay inside your friends won even though it’s a rainy November. 
You grab your umbrella and raincoat and tread your way to the quidditch pitch. The crowd in the stands were wild in anticipation. Susan beckons you to sit with them, and they’re all dressed devoid of house colours. 
The students cheered for every goal scored and every goal saved. You scream and laugh to your heart's content. The feeling is freeing, and the autumn showers subside. Whizzing brooms and bludgers make you forget about the one boy on the team playing that still held your heart.
At least not until the whistle blows and Mattheo flies toward your stand. The beat of your heart pounds fast in your chest. Is he going to whisk you away like that the first time you broke up? Then your heart falls heavy and your lungs dispel all the hope in your body as you watch him take off with her.
Only it wasn’t Annlynn. But they do have the same features. 
⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾
It was a bad idea from the start. Studying with your shared friendship circle. But you had missed him. The only time you ever get to interact with him was in group settings.
He was seated beside you for two hours. You’d ask him what he wrote for certain questions, and he’d reply politely. Like he was talking to a stranger, not an old friend. But you take it. You take whatever communication you could get.
You ask once more for his answer to a defence against the dark arts question however, before he could reply, his chair is pulled back, and a girl sits on his lap.
You look away at the public display of affection they share. The nib of your quill ruined by the pressure you place on it.
“Get a room!” You hear Blaise chuckle. 
You whip your head to see Mattheo standing, his arm wraps around her. “Let’s go Harper.”
“Get it boy!” Blaise winks at him. Mattheo shakes his head laughing.
They’ve all looked nothing like you. So why does he look so happy? He really must have been holding out to find the opposite.
⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾
At the after-party for Slytherin’s win against Ravenclaw, all were present in the great hall. You fill up your cup with whatever fruit blend was in the punch bowl.
“Hey there! Care to Dance?” A quick glance at Mattheo and his date and you take the hand of one Anthony Goldstein.
You danced the night away and had nearly seven cups of the now alcoholic punch bowl, thank you Weasley twins. You tried everything to forget that Mattheo once again was with another girl who doesn’t resemble you. 
Throughout the night your eyes darted to Mattheo and his new girl. The only time their lips were apart was when he would take a swig out of his cup. Every time you saw them, you took a gulp out of yours.
Now, you weren’t drunk per se, but you were feeling a little dizzy after twirling and swaying to the music. You see them walk out of the hall and you couldn’t take it anymore. 
You decide to head outside for some air. You wipe a tear off your face with the back of your hand. 
Whilst opening the courtyard door, you bump into someone. You catch yourself on to the biceps of the person.
“Oh my! You must work out!” The words come out as easily as you sipped the alcohol that caused the bravery.
“Careful darling wouldn’t want your date to think you’re hitting on me.” At the sound of Mattheo’s voice, you curse quietly. You take your heels off and walk away. Footsteps seem to be following you.
“How is Goldstein?” Mattheo asks, pronouncing the name slowly, a hard expression on his face.
You sit on one of the stone arch windows. The cold surface cools you down slightly.
“Oh, he is fine as hell!” You glare at him and with bitterness in your voice you ask, “How is clone number 4?” 
You roll around a gobstone you find on the floor with your foot and kick it a bit too hard toward Mattheo.
“Her name is Maya. Why do you care anyway?” He kicks the stone back to you.
“I care but I don't!” Your volume is lower, your shoulders slouch, and your neck tilts downwards. “Just wondering when… all those times you… you said I'm beautiful. Was I being lied to?”
Looking up at him, you can’t tell if his expression is soft, or it is because your eyes are starting to water. When he says nothing, you carry on.
“She looks nothing like me. Can't really tell should I be tryna take it as a compliment? It's kinda feeling like the opposite.”
He takes a step forward and you hear him whisper your name. “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.”
You laugh scornfully. “Then why are you with her and not back with me?”
Mattheo runs his hands through his hair and holds them in his fists. “Because you were right!”
Your brows furrow. He continues, “Darling, I’m not good enough for you!”
“I have never said that!” 
Flashbacks to your argument run through your mind. It might have slipped out. You can’t remember. It was all a blur. You don’t even recall the reason why you broke up this time. Whatever was said you were sure you never meant it. You never meant to hurt him like this.
“But it’s true! You deserve more than what I can give you. You deserve the world darling.” He takes another step towards you.
You look up and his eyes meet with yours.
“I don’t want the world. I want you.”
That’s all it took for his walls to crash down as his lips crashes yours.
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427 notes · View notes
thatanimewriter · 4 months
Text
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CRY FOR LOVE.
➳ synopsis: ever since dan feng had been sentenced to molting rebirth, you didn't know how to move on, despite not having your love returned by the high elder. encountering his reincarnation - dan heng - centuries down the track wasn't the plan.
➳ character/s: dan heng, dan feng
➳ warnings: swearing, death (but a double whammy), reincarnation, unrequited love (unless-), spoilers for the 1.2 trailblaze mission, haha songfic/scripted music video??? (screenshot summary of a movie but written)
➳ notes: here is the explanation of such fic type and the guide on how i suggest to read this :)). i have an addiction to this song istg, baekhyun vocals send me
𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.
the image of dan feng in chains as he was led to the shackling prison was burnt into your mind, even when you closed your eyes.
𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲.
you held the little block puzzle in your hand containing the confession letter you planned to give him, but sighed and pocketed it. you won't be needing it.
𝐖𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨.
"i'm not him."
you held his gaze and sucked in a small breath, smiling bittersweetly. "i know," you whispered. "what's your name?"
𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?
dan heng didn't know how to feel about jing yuan bringing him to the old spots they used to go to, but he realised he didn't feel anything at all.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞. 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞.
dan heng doesn't miss the forced smile you put on just for him. "i'm sorry-"
"you're not him," you interrupted, taking a shaky breath. maybe a short walk together wasn't a good idea. "it's ok. don't apologise for something you didn't do."
𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲, 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?
a single tear rolls down your face as you curl your knees to your chest, resting your chin atop them as you gazed at the pond. it felt pathetic to see dan heng sitting beside you in the reflection of the water, a gentle hand rubbing your back despite knowing you a total of 2 weeks.
𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞.
his lips press into a thin line as the tears welled in your eyes. he thinks it's awkward how he rubs your back but the guilt of what his past self has done to you overrides his senses and pushes him to continue the motion.
𝐔𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐜𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬.
this is getting ridiculous, you thought. the burning question of 'what if?' has been plaguing your mind since you met dan heng a month ago.
𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭?
for a month, dan heng has been trying to remember any importance you had to dan feng's life, but he can't ignore the ache in his chest when he thinks about you being in it.
𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞.
how much longer was he going to be here? you weren't sure if you wanted to know the answer to your own question as you took an unfamiliar route on your walk. you were sure he noticed you purposely avoiding him, but you didn't know how else to rid yourself of feelings for his past self.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞. 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞.
the absence of you was deafening. dan heng's hope that maybe there are some good things about his past life was diminishing as he watched you take another detour. he wants to follow you, to hug you, to apologise to you, but his feet remain rooted to the ground.
𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞.
the bags under your eyes seem darker as you watched him eat with the astral express, but a teary smile sat on your tired features at the thought of you having that with someone in a past life of your own. just not this one.
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞, '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞.
he is everywhere. you see his eyes in the lakes, ocean and the sky. you feel the warmth of his company as you wander down aurum alley. you're reminded of his intelligence as you pass through stargazer navalia. you're reminded of your unrequited love every time you come to central starskiff haven, surrounded by those flaunting their success in love whereas you failed.
you swallow your frustrations, gazing at a starskiff that faded into the horizon. perhaps he would be better without your heartbroken presence...
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞. 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞.
your bags were packed and ready to go, your home now eerily empty, save for a singular photo frame of yourself and dan heng that was taken by march. you left your key inside a pot as always before you turned your back on your past, never to look back again.
𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐈 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞.
with shaky hands, dan heng holds the photo frame containing a fond memory of you that always seemed to weigh on his mind. he looked around your home, hoping you would show, but knowing you wouldn't come back for him.
𝐈𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐈 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.
a shallow breath escaped your lips as you lay in the snow, blood pouring from your chest.
"i'm finally free..."
𝐈𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐈 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.
a tear fell from dan heng's crystal-like eyes as he knelt by your grave, giving the headstone a kiss he wished he had the chance to give you.
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thexianzhoujade · 2 months
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「 mess it up | genshin impact fanfiction 」 diluc x gn!reader | angst, ex-lovers | song inspired fanfiction. ↳ additional tags. mentions a minorly unhealthy relationship, diluc with trauma (canon event, i didn't do it to him), mentions of alcohol and drinking, light swearing, a lot of adelinde content! thinking over the breakup and having regrets ↳ inspired by mess it up by gracie abrams; dedicated to @soleillunne since you wanted me to do a gracie songfic <3 this is also my revenge for him being c6.
data has been uploaded! - send an ask to be added; specify genshin, honkai or both! @soleillunne, @dumbificat, @lovingluxury, @starryshinyskies, @ryuryuryuyurboat, @ainescribe
the jade's guidelines | genshin masterlist | previous work
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DILUC was a stubborn man with a tough shell, one that appeared to never be faltering no matter how many people tried. adelinde had spent countless evenings standing at the door to master diluc's office, a glass of grape juice in her tired hands as she tried so stubbornly to win the young master's heart back over; maybe he wasn't going to be this cold and sheltered for the entirety of his life, if only she tried a little bit harder.
the very cavalry captain of the knights of favonius - his own brother - had even tried endlessly, purposefully causing mischief around the dawn winery in an attempt to drag out that mischievous redhead child that diluc was storing away in the dark of his heart. despite kaeya's attempts, it was all futile and he'd be merely scolded by his brother.
sometimes even jean attempted to grasp the reins of an old friend, regardless of the turmoil left between the wine industry tycoon and the knights of favonius. he was once honoured among the knights, feared by their enemies and their youngest captain; what had happened so achingly? now all she can do is grimace at her own fruitless attempts at small talk in the streets of mondstadt, on days where the clouds blanket the sun. it's dull, dreary and the tired look in diluc's eyes couldn't have matched the weather anymore than they did.
in the stupidity of your own decisions, something you tried to excuse as mere young love, you too had make your move to try fix something that perhaps should stay broken. yet it worked, perhaps momentarily. he cracked, faint smiles etched onto his face whenever he'd see you. his calloused hands would stop wiping tankards with a damp cloth just to press a soft kiss to your head when you visited him at work, his focus no longer on the tavern or work for a few seconds.
on days where the sun hugged mondstadt, basking it in golden light that brought smiles out on every face in the city, you'd find diluc among the grapevines, his sleeves folded up to his elbows as he partakes in some hard labour around the winery; after all, he still cared enough to give his workers a day's rest to enjoy the sunshine. you'd join him, happily harvesting grapes in delicate grasps of your hand however diluc wouldn't fail to miss you popping the occasional one into your mouth with a cheeky grin.
regardless of the lingering touches and gentle, featherlight kisses, nothing could truly fix him, could it? for all you know, your attempts had been nothing more than another day, another week, another month for the redhead. the same redhead that you'd dedicated hours to - that you'd dedicated your heart to. what a fool, placing something so delicate into the hands of someone who didn't know how to take care of it.
diluc wishes he'd told you that sooner. he wishes the warnings had slipped from his chapped lips into the night air on the evening you'd confessed your feelings, that he didn't give an ounce of care for love. he was going to focus on the winery, the business - his father's legacy. perhaps it was the only thing he had left to grasp of him now that he'd settled in the post-mourning phase of his young adult life but that twinkle in your eyes, how could he say no?
grumbling to himself, he sips at the bitter liquid in his glass before slamming it down moments later. it's supposed to taste sweet, at least that's what kaeya insinuates every time he steals a bottle from the cellar. diluc never cared, he never drank. he couldn't stand wine yet he kept producing it like it was his lifeblood but here he was, ruby eyes boring into the dark red liquid that fills the winery's infamous glasses his mother had collected when he was still too young to remember.
adelinde lurks in the shadows, a frown adorning that pretty face all the other maids gushed over; she didn't look a day over her age, still as youthful as ever as if she hadn't watched the young masters grow up into grown men with differing personalities nonetheless. a soft sigh escapes her lips, her hands clasped in front of her neatly pressed apron as she makes her presence known.
"i thought i'd never see you drink wine." she comments, her eyes drinking in the way diluc's body tenses in the orange glow of the candle on his desk. his gaze lifts to her, softening ever so slightly when he sees the maid. he feels vulnerable - no, he is vulnerable. nothing will bring back the relationship he'd thrown out so effortlessly like paper in the breeze and that bites at him, tears at his flesh while he's still conscious. the thought makes his body ache more.
"first time for everything," his voice is hoarse as he replies, gruff as he leans back into the plush velvet of his desk chair. that familiar black coat with the fur trim hangs over the back of it and adelinde sighs again, "it's late, why haven't you retired for the night?"
he's sober, adelinde notes as she steps further into his office, her lithe hands lifting the bottle of wine he'd been drinking from to admire the label she'd seen no ends of times throughout her life. diluc watches without another word. he realises how absurd it must seem for him to be drinking the wine, so out of character it would probably turn his father in his grave but it drowned out the pain or at least, it dulled it for a while.
"you know i've never retired while you're still awake," adelinde retorts as she places the wine bottle back down on his desk. the thud draws diluc to his senses and he clears his throat, pulling his large hand away from the glass as he seats himself upright, "you're still thinking about them?"
"do you think... they'd let me back in, adelinde?" he asks in his moment of vulnerability, his rough fingertips tracing over the rings that decorate his fingers. adelinde's lips pull into a tight line, "if i pulled myself together and let them see it happen... do you think they'd let it happen?"
adelinde knows the answer is no, she'd caught wind weeks ago that you'd moved on from the situation and was fixing your wounds in the aftermath of what had happened. she'd uttered it to diluc before but it appears he'd either had one glass too many or he'd chose to ignore it in a delusional hope to fix himself again.
"master diluc, you know-" she cuts herself off, her eyes sorrowful as she drinks in the way his lower lip trembles. his breath is shaking, vulnerable and she's reminded of the young boy who'd come running to her whenever master crepus scolded him for his mischievous antics.
"i fucked up, i know," he groans, a slight crack in his voice as his hands bunch into fists on the arms of his chair. adelinde makes a soft noise in response, "and now i just have to sit here, kicking myself with my gut in a knot while they're happier."
there's a silence that fills the office. wind creaks in the attic, adelinde realises she'll have to chase up the maintenance workers on fixing all the gaps and there's a subtle crackle of the flame burning on diluc's desk. she takes note of the dark circles under the young man's eyes, hollowing his pale face from the lack of sleep he'd been receiving since he cut things off with you.
at least, that's the story he told her - that he was the one to cut the ties holding the pair of you together. it wasn't the truth and diluc thinks he'll never utter the truth to anyone, a possibility as to why he'd stopped drinking wine the moment adelinde made herself known. he's a lightweight and he's self aware, the last thing he wants is to spill out the truth like a sobbing mess, tears staining his cheeks while his breath reeks of alcohol.
the truth was you'd been the one to finish things to protect yourself. your hands clasped around your breaking heart, trembling and shaking in a last ditch effort to stop things from collapsing completely. diluc couldn't love, not in your eyes. you'd tried so hard but you knew behind the acts of affection, he wasn't there. it was as if you was kissing a ghost, someone who lacked the will to be in that situation.
in the long term, it made you feel unloved. that's when you began to recognise that you was holding pieces of your shattering heart and desperately trying to piece it back together again, fumbling endlessly with your own heart all while you tried to force feed love into the winery owner - the one who undoubtedly was up until that point, your lover.
diluc doesn't blame you for your decision but he regrets it, every ounce of it. he considers that the whole relationship could have been avoided but at the same time, by the time you'd ended things, he'd began to crave your touch, your love, your kisses. he'd hear your voice when you wasn't even present. it happened too late however and now he pays the price, the heartbreak of his own regrets for not trying harder.
this truth he'd keep locked in his shallow heart, his lips pursed into a tight line as his eyes drag over the quill on his desk - yet again, another thing he doesn't dare bring into this conversation with the maid. he'd wrote you numerous letters, just begging to hear from you so that mayhaps his heart could rest a little.
he would tear every one of them up and only one of them was ever sent.
"diluc!" your voice chirps in his memory, your cotton shawl drifting in the infamous breeze of mondstadt as you stand upon the grass hill, clouds decorating the blue sky above your head. a smile graces your face, that specific one that he adored despite never mentioning it to you - a mistake on his behalf. your eyes crease with your smile, a gentle laugh reverberating from you, "hurry up!"
diluc finds himself trudging up the grassy slope to join you, his fateful beloved. his shoes find dips to keep his footing in the steepest parts, a calloused hand occasionally pressing to the sharp grass blades to stop him slipping. eventually, he joins you. he stands at your side, drinking in your face in sheer admiration before it dawns on him that this isn't his reality, not anymore.
the bedsheets are damp when he wakes, moonlight still filtering through the large ornate glass windows of his chambers. an exasperated breath escapes his lips, his tongue darting out to wet them as his head falls back onto the feather filled pillows. fiery red hair sprawls out beneath him, no longer tied up as tears sting at his eyes, threatening to spill in the vulnerable silence left in his wake.
every time he gets too close, mere inches from a promised happiness within his grasp, he just goes and messes it up, like always.
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© thexianzhoujade 2024. | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.
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juceynightmare · 10 months
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give me your forever (18+) - hook x reader songfic oneshot
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my masterlist
hook masterlist
pairing(s): hook x fem!reader
warning(s): swearing, time skipping, underage drug and alcohol use, use of pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, daddy kink, breeding kink, praise kink, degradation kink, hints of jealous!hook at one part
genre(s): fluff, smut, established relationship, multi-media fic.
word count: 11,454
summary: the day has finally come where y/n graduates college. however, y/n is more nervous about the fact that today is also the day when she gets to introduce tyler as her boyfriend of 8 years rather than her “good friend since elementary” to her parents. she's so nervous, in fact, that she texts tyler during the ceremony and the two go down memory lane.
song: give me your forever by zack tabudlo
[y/n] AHHHH
[tyler] woah there missy. don’t you have a ceremony you should be paying attention to?
[y/n] you’re not even paying attention
[tyler] actually, i am. as soon as they pan the camera over to your family and me, i’m lifting up this giant photo of you they gave to me
[y/n] WHAT FUCKING GIANT PHOTO
[tyler] it’s literally your head on a stick
[tyler] but what’s wrong? i can feel your distress all the way out here
[y/n] i’m nervous
[tyler] all you have to do is walk across a stage, grab your diploma, shake some hands, and you’re done
[tyler] you’ve done it before
[y/n] not that
[y/n] i’m nervous about telling my parents
[y/n] i’m shocked they’re not even questioning that you’re here
[tyler] we’ll be fine
[y/n] you know how they are
[y/n] they’re gonna freak out when they find out you’re my BOYFRIEND of EIGHT YEARS
[tyler] you remember the rule, don’t you?
[y/n] blah blah, no dating until i get my degree because boys will distract me and i’ll fail school and become a drug addict
[tyler] and what are you about to do
[y/n] ??? idk ??? die ?????
[tyler] im the one who dropped out of college to make a living out of beating people up but here you are not even able to connect the dots. i’ll answer for you.
[tyler] you’re about to get your degree.
[tyler] you proved them wrong. you’re not a drug addict and you’re graduating college with a degree in computer science.
[tyler] might i add that you’re also at the very top of your program :) my smart girl
[y/n] still doesn’t mean they won’t flip out
[y/n] yeah i proved them wrong but what if they don’t accept us? accept you?
[tyler] we’re going to be okay, mamas. i’m not going anywhere. nothing is going to happen to us.
[tyler] i promise you.
[tyler] i’ll take care of you.
[tyler] i’ve always taken care of you, mamas. haven’t i?
do you remember? when we were young you were always with your friends wanted to grab your hand and run away from them
“that’s a stupid fucking rule.” tyler muttered, a joint hanging between his lips as he cupped his hand around the end so he could light it.
“you tell me! like, do they really have that little faith in me that they think i’ll fail school all because of a boy? how idiotic is that!” y/n huffed angrily, kicking tanbark up into the air.
tyler was sitting alone at the end of the stairs of the play structure when y/n walked up to him and sat beside him, already beginning to ramble her little head off. it truly bewildered tyler how a girl could have so much trouble with her parents when they were both only eighth graders. then again, tyler was certain his dad would beat his ass until he was bruised and bloodied if he found out the type of crowd that tyler's been involved with, and the shit he was currently doing.
“i think they’re just protective of you and that’s why they have that rule in place.” he answered, inhaling and holding the smoke in his mouth before pulling the joint away from his lips. he held it out for y/n to take, although he knew that she wouldn’t take it. as the girl shook her head politely, tyler inhaled the smoke into his lungs and held it there before blowing out into the air.
“yeah? well i think they’re irrational. god, i wish i could just prove them wrong so that when the day comes that i graduate college, i can laugh in their faces like, ‘jokes on you! i had a boyfriend the whole time!’” she groaned frustratedly, pulling out her phone when she felt it start to buzz. y/n answered the call and held it up to her ear. “yeah, mom. i’m at the same park i always wait at for you to pick me up… yes the club’s good… no i’m not alone, i’m with tyler… you know, my friend from elementary? … mom, he’s not my boyfriend! … no, he’s not a bad influence he’s -“ she took a second to glance over at tyler, watching the boy take another puff from his joint and covering her nose as the wind blew the puff of smoke towards her direction. “he’s just a normal middle school boy, mom. … no, i already told you he’s not my boyfriend! … what do you mean stay away from him? i’ve been waiting at this park every day since i’ve started middle school and he’s been here every day making sure no creep talks to me. he’s a good guy, mom! mom?” she huffed as she shoved her phone back in her pocket, realizing her mom had hung up on her.
“you know, i like the idea of you proving them wrong and laughing in their faces.” tyler pitched in after he blew out the smoke into the air. he looked over at the girl, catching her gaze. “what better way to prove your parents wrong than by dating the ‘baddest boy’ in school, as everyone calls me. your mom seems to think that i’m a bad guy too.” he mused, watching the way y/n seemed to think over tyler’s words.
“are you asking me out?” y/n asked, her eyes suddenly widening at the implication of tyler’s agreement.
he shrugged his shoulders, flicking off the ash at the end of his joint into the tanbark below them. “you’re my friend. you’re cute. i think i’ll be more than okay with dating you. besides,” he began, reaching out to sling his arm over y/n’s shoulders to pull her into his side. “you’ve said it yourself. i’ve been here every day since we’ve started middle school because i know you have your little after-school clubs and would most likely be waiting alone. i’d hate it if some creep came and took away my friend.”
“what’s in it for me?” she asked, feeling her face warm up from being so close next to tyler. she could smell the cheap cologne that clung to his skin, and y/n tried not to lean against him.
but tyler had his own plans, as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the girl’s forehead. “you get to experience life outside of textbooks and strict parents barring you from parties. i’ll help you sneak out and take the blame for everything.”
she blinked up at him once he pulled away, and y/n wondered how she never noticed tyler’s dimpled smile before.
“you’ve got a deal, senerchia. but i get to make the rules.”
“that’s fine. but don’t think that i won’t take care of you, y/n. you’re my girlfriend now, and my mom taught me how to treat my woman.”
i knew it that it was time to tell you how i feel so i made a move, i took your hand my heart was beating loud like i've never felt before
[y/n] yeah you have
[y/n] even before we started dating LOL
[tyler] can't believe you had no idea i had a massive crush on you
[tyler] what fucking loser just sits around a park and waits for a girl who has after school clubs
[y/n] you. you're the loser.
[tyler] there was another dude
[y/n] jackson??? i remember him being there in the beginning of seventh grade
[tyler] he had a crush on you, that's why he was also waiting
[y/n] you're lying. why am i just now hearing about this?
[tyler] yeah, i told him i was your boyfriend and he backed off and never waited for you again
[y/n] well, at least you didn't punch him like that dude at lisa's party
[tyler] you said it was fair game
[y/n] i didn't think he'd have to go to the hospital because he got concussed!
[tyler] he touched what's mine.
[tyler] you told me i could punch him once, and i made sure it counted.
[tyler] besides, i got pussy afterwards so it's a win
[y/n] oh calm your ego.
[y/n] i can literally SMELL the testosterone radiating from the crowd and it smells like YOU.
[y/n] WAS THAT YOU THAT JUST "AWOOOOO"'D HELLA LOUD
[y/n] HONEY??
[y/n] oh my fucking GOD I SEE MY GIANT ASS HEADS
[tyler] i got that dawg in me
[tyler] woof. (with rizz)
you were smiling at me like you wanted more i think you're the one i've never seen before
"i want to go home." she whispered, her voice almost getting lost amongst the sounds of the bustling party if it wasn't for the way tyler focused on only her. he was so attentive that he'd be hyper fixated on her whenever she'd take a breath.
"everything okay, baby?" tyler asked quietly, taking her cup away from her and setting both of their cups down on the windowsill beside them. he guided her to wrap her arms around his neck before pulling her in by her waist and ducking his head so that she could speak directly into his ear.
the two of them had come far from being eighth graders waiting by a playground for their parents to pick them up. they were now sophomores juniors in high school, if we consider the fact that sophomore year just ended and they were now at a grad party for a friend of tyler's that had just graduated high school. tyler had gotten significantly taller, and his voice had deepened in a delicious manner that sent y/n's head reeling whenever he'd talk to her. y/n for the most part had stayed the same, but the baby fat on her face had started to slim down and tyler tried his best not to let his gaze trail down further to where she had began to look more... womanly... for lack of better words.
they hadn't ever talked about the way their relationship started. from what was once something that y/n had entered to spite her parents had now blossomed into a full blown relationship with tyler that she cherished above everything else in the world. and for tyler? well, the boy had always had a little crush on y/n whether he wanted to acknowledge it or not, and now that she is his, tyler couldn't be any happier.
and the best part? no one knew but them. well, people had speculations and they'd whisper, but y/n and tyler would only ever be so touchy at parties. at school, they didn't even talk to each other because of their different social circles and classes. and when they were asked what they were to each other...
"oh, yeah. she's/he's been my friend since elementary school." followed by either a "my parents told him to make sure i stay safe at parties, that's why he's always with me." or a "we all know she's too innocent for the party life. i gotta make sure no one taints her, you know?" depending on who was answering.
"you know how you stepped away to get us drinks?" she asked softly, feeling him nod his head. y/n took a deep breath, stepping closer to tyler and feeling his arms wrap around her waist. "that dude to the right of us in the flannel walked by me and full on grabbed my ass."
tyler didn't know if it was the disco lighting, but he suddenly saw red at y/n's words and he felt as though he sobered up in a second. his head snapped in the other boy's direction, his jaw clenching and his eyebrows furrowing in concentration as he made out the stranger's frame. tyler pulled her closer to him until she was completely pressed against his front, dipping his head back down to ask her, "what else did he do?"
tyler noted how the other boy had glanced over at where he and y/n stood once he returned, and now tyler knew why. it was taking everything in him to not walk over there right now and plant his fist square in his- "well, he didn’t do anything else besides that. i guess i should be more specific about how he did it though. he like... you know the thing you do? where you put your hand in my back pocket and spin me into a kiss? yeah he tried that and tried smooth talking his way with me. i don't think he was gonna back off until he got pulled away by those two girls he's talking to right now."
if looks could kill, tyler was certain that he'd have burned a hole through the boy's chest and killed him without even needing the other boy to notice the murderous look in his gaze. "can i punch him?"
"tyler!"
"i'm not joking. he fucking touched you, y/n." tyler rested his hands firmly on her hips so he could pull her back from him. he held her gaze, and it as then that y/n could feel her heart get caught in her throat.
tyler looked more than ready to kill for her. she had never seen him this angry before, and if she was being honest, her body seemed to have quite the reaction. "just one." she breathed out before she could even think about the consequences of unleashing tyler on the poor, unsuspecting boy who had made the mistake of trying to hit on the wrong girl.
"sick."
she had already felt slow because of the alcohol in her system, but y/n was certain that even if she was sober, she still wouldn't have been able to process the next minute. "don't fucking touch girls without their consent, asshole!" tyler's voice rang throughout the house, so loud that it could be heard over the blaring music. the next sound that followed was a loud smack as tyler's fist collided with the boy's jaw and laid him out flat on the floor. before she knew it, tyler was already dragging her out of the house while people around them were whispering: "do we call an ambulance?" "he's out cold..." "man, it's a good thing i didn't shoot my shot with her. i would have been in that position." "he's sorta hot for doing that, isn't he?" "that's tyler? no wonder why he's popular with the ladies."
"let's get you home, baby." tyler muttered into the air as he walked down the street to where his car was parked, his hand still tightly holding hers as he practically dragged her along with him.
"wait, slow down." she begged.
he grunted out in frustration, turning on his heel and sweeping the girl off of her feet. tyler carried her bridal style the rest of the way to his car. "i'm fucking pissed. little boy thinks he can touch up on my girl? god, i'm sorry for leaving you alone, baby. never again, i promise." he angrily huffed as he set her down on her feet once they reached his car.
"you're sorta hot when you're angry." she admitted softly as tyler unlocked his car. he was about to open the passenger side door for y/n when she suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck to stop him. she stared up at him, her eyes wide and her lips pulled into a soft smile. “it’s like i have scary dog privileges.” she giggled, crinkles forming by her eyes as her smile grew wider.
his hands were quick to find her waist, feeling his breath get caught in his throat as the moonlight hit her just right to give her a slight sparkle in her eyes. and suddenly, his anger had faded away just as quickly as it arose, replaced with the need to have her in that moment. “we’re not in a rush to go home, right?” he asked softly. he tapped his finger against her side, a sign for her to hop up and wrap her legs around his waist. he hooked his arms under her knees to support her once she did so, and he pinned her to the side of his car.
a blush rose to her cheeks, craning her head to the side as tyler’s lips pressed against the side of her neck. “you know the rules. as long as you get me back before my parents wake up.” she whispered into the air, her eyes fluttering shut as he suckled against her skin.
“that’s more than enough time.” he mumbled against her as he pulled away from her neck so that he could crash his lips against hers.
i want you to know, i love you the most i'll always be there right by your side ‘cause baby, you’re always in my mind just give me your forever (give me your forever)
[y/n] IM SORRY??
[tyler] i accept your apology
[y/n] ugh, weirdo
[tyler] helping with your nerves, mamas?
[y/n] a little
[y/n] do you remember when you first called me mamas
[tyler] of course
[tyler] on your 18th birthday
[tyler] and i got to fuck you raw for the first time because we were both like "AH FUCK IT WE'RE 18, IF WE HAVE A BABY THEN OH WELLL"
[tyler] but then we bought the plan b beforehand just to make sure we wouldn't make a baby
[tyler] s tier sex by the way
[y/n] IT WAS AFTER THAT
[tyler] no, i called you mamas while fucking you
[tyler] and you nearly came from me just calling you mamas even though i just put it in
[y/n] i do not recall
[y/n] this is fake news
[tyler] ok if we're talking nonsexual
[tyler] then yes it was after
[tyler] after you came back to your senses once i filled you to the brim
[y/n] HONEY I CANNOT BE HORNY RIGHT NOW
[y/n] ARENT YOU SITTING NEXT TO MY PARENTS?
[tyler] they're about to find out that i've been fucking their daughter for years and raw dogging her too.
[tyler] also, i'm already sporting a semi out here
[tyler] thinking about how shy you got after i called you mamas when you came down from your high
[tyler] how giggly you got
[tyler] so happy and fucked out
[tyler] never stopped calling you mamas after that, and no matter how many times i call you mamas, you still have the same reaction
[tyler] you're blushing and smiling right now, aren't you?
[y/n] SHUT UP
[tyler] if i remember correctly, i think i told you "you feel amazing, mamas.” the very first time i called you mamas
[tyler] but then after i got you cleaned up and dressed, i told you “i love you, mamas” and you literally melted in my arms it was so cute
[y/n] you remember all this but god forbid you remember where you parked your car in a packed parking garage
[tyler] that's not important
[tyler] i worship you
[tyler] i commit everything that is about you or involves you to my memory
[y/n] there aren't enough words in the universe to explain how much i love you
[tyler] just give me your forever. that’ll be enough.
[tyler] i love you mamas
[y/n] i love you too, honey
[y/n] i can’t wait to spend forever with you
i want you to know that you’ll be the one and i’ll be the guy who’ll be on his knees to say i love you and i need you and say i’d die for you (just give me your forever)
he was kneeling between her spread legs, one of his hands rested on her hip and the other wrapped around his length as he pumped himself slowly. their chests rose and fell in time as breathy sighs filled the room. tyler lined himself up with her entrance, keeping his gaze locked with hers as he spread her arousal over his tip. he pushed in slightly, just so that his tip was nestled in her warmth. the slight intrusion making y/n’s eyebrows furrow together.
he leaned over her body, his hands reaching for hers so he could lace their fingers together as he kept her hands pinned to the pillow besides her head. he held her gaze as he pressed his hips flush against hers slowly, his jaw dropping open at the feeling of her walls clinging around him without a thin layer of latex separating them. once he bottomed out, he stayed there for a moment, his eyes threatening to shut as he felt her walls pulse around his length.
“you feel amazing, mamas.” he whispered, the new pet name falling from his lips so effortlessly. and suddenly, y/n was bucking her hips up against his and squeezing his hands tightly, her mouth dropping with a drawled out whine that tyler knew all too well. he grunted, feeling the familiar feeling of her walls convulsing around him, but the experience had been heightened with the lack of protection separating them. “fuck, you like that, don’t you? you like being called mamas.” he mumbled, pressing a quick gentle kiss to her cheek. tyler pulled out until just his tip was left in her before snapping his hips back into hers.
“feels so good, daddy. give me more.” she moaned out softly, her legs wrapping around his waist as if to pull him in deeper into her.
tyler repeatedly thrusted himself into her, picking up speed as he felt her legs begin to quiver at his sides. he glanced down between their bodies, catching a glimpse of the slick wetness that coated his length whenever he’d pull out of her. his gaze snapped back up to hers as he felt her legs squeeze at his sides in warning. “already close, mamas? daddy’s just getting started.” he grunted over her breathy moans, adjusting his position slightly so he could directly hit her g-spot. when a particularly load moan was pulled from her throat, tyler covered her mouth with his own to swallow her moans.
she knew that fucking without a condom would feel different, but she didn’t expect it to feel like this. y/n could feel the drag of his length inside of her with every thrust, and she struggled to kiss him back. instead, she was focused on the way she could actually feel his length pulsing inside her, and the way the head of his cock kissed her cervix with every thrust.
it wasn’t long before she was shaking her him, her hands squeezing his hands tightly as she moaned loudly against his mouth. her walls clenched down on his length tightly, and the feeling was so intense that tyler had moaned against her mouth. he pulled away from her mouth, focusing on chasing his own high as he let go of one of her hands to guide her to rest her legs up on his shoulders. tyler folded her in half with his body weight, his hand finding hers again as he jackhammered into her.
“you’re such a good bitch for daddy. cumming all over my fucking cock. fuck, i’m so close.” he gasped out, his hands squeezing hers tightly as the familiar knot in his stomach began to tighten. “beg for me, mamas. beg for daddy to fill you up.”
“please daddy. please cum in me. i can’t take it anymore, it’s too much. i just want your cum in me. please daddy.” y/n cried out as she begged for tyler, her back arching off the mattress as he continuously rammed himself into her. tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as her body continued to shake under him with every thrust sending waves of pleasure through her body. “breed me, daddy.”
with a few more thrusts, tyler was burying his face in the crook of her neck, spilling his seed into her with a whimper as his hips sporadically continued to buck into her with each rope of cum that painted her walls.
eventually, he stilled and the two of them were left breathing heavily in time as he fell limp against her body, letting go of her hands so he could hook his arms under her body and wrap them completely around her mid-section.
she wasn’t given a moment to catch her breath before tyler was already pulling out of her and flipping her around. “face down, ass up, mamas. you didn’t think i was just gonna fill you once and be done, did you?” he asked from behind her, helping her lift her hips up and get on her knees. his hand trailed along her spine, watching the way she instinctively arched her back and pushed her hips back against him. “you asked daddy to breed you, so that’s exactly what daddy’s going to do.”
“i feel it dripping.” she whined out in complaint, biting down on her bottom lip to bite back a scream as tyler’s hand came down roughly on her ass.
“don’t worry, mamas. i’ll fuck it back into you.” he grunted, reaching for her hands and pinning them behind her back. tyler watched as his cum continued to drip out of her and onto the mattress, the sight instantly making his head foggy with lust. he rubbed his fingers over her clit, watching as the girl’s pulled away from him from overstimulation. he laughed as he pressed his other hand on the small of her back to keep her in place as he continued to rub circles over her clit, collecting more of his dripping cum on to his fingers.
“oh god.” she cried out as tyler pushed two of his fingers into her, curling them right up into her g-spot.
tyler thrusted his fingers in and out of her, his other hand smacking her ass roughly as she tried to crawl further up along the bed away from him. “god’s not here.” he grunted, grabbing at her thigh to keep her from crawling away from him as he scissored his fingers inside of her and making her cry out in pleasure. “cry all you want, bitch. he can’t save you now.” he huffed as he pushed his cum deeper into her, eventually pulling his fingers out of her and lining his cock with her entrance before ramming himself into her once again.
she didn’t know how many times she came that night, or how many times tyler had filled her up. all she knew was that this is the closest to ascending to the heavens that she’d feel in this lifetime. her whole body felt light and tingly, and a fuzzy feeling fogged up her head in the best way possible. a light smile was permanently etched on her face and tyler would tell her that she’d have the most beautiful after-sex glow that he’s seen on her.
he dressed her up after he cleaned her with a towel and gave her the plan b to take. afterwards, tyler peppered kisses over her every inch of her still exposed skin, whispering praises as he did so. and when he made it back up her body and hovered over her, tyler caught her lips in a gentle kiss and kissed her languish manner.
he pulled away and laid down beside her, pulling her into his chest and pulling her blanket over their bodies before wrapping his arms around her frame. “i love you, mamas. happy birthday.” he whispered into her hair before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. tyler smiled as he felt her melt in his arms, her body falling limp against his as her arm draped across his midsection.
she lifted her head, pushing herself up to peck his lips before falling flat against him and closing her eyes. “i love you, honey.” she whispered, her voice hoarse from screaming and moaning into her pillow because she couldn’t hold back her moans by the time tyler was fucking her through her third orgasm.
the next day, after tyler would pick her up just a few hours after sneaking out of her room once she had fallen asleep, he’d laugh in her face as she’d pull out her phone to read the message she typed out for him. “i lost my voice so i can’t talk.” she‘d slap his arm playfully in response, but she’d still smile as he greeted her with a kiss when he was at a stop sign away from her house.
“you should call me mamas more.” was the next message she typed out for him as they were waiting to be seated at a restaurant with her friend group that tyler didn’t know all too well.
“i wasn’t planning on stopping.” he typed back his response before sneakily handing her phone back to her so that her friends wouldn’t see the exchange between them.
as far as her friends were concerned, tyler was tagging along because he’d known y/n the longest out of them and she wanted him to be there. they didn’t mind, because tyler never seemed to talk much during these birthday breakfasts for y/n, and because of that, it made it easy for them to continue on with their antics.
they did, however, find it odd that whenever y/n wanted to speak but couldn’t because she somehow lost her voice - it was tyler who she’d have read out her typed messages.
i never knew it would be possible for you to be with me ‘cause you loved someone else back in ‘73 i was so jealous seeing you with him
[tyler] i can’t wait to put a giant rock on your finger
[tyler] so that when you go to your next 5sos concert, luke hemmings will know you’re taken
[y/n] you’re still on this ??
[y/n] it was like first year of college when i had a massive 5sos phase
[y/n] that’s already so long ago
[tyler] ok and
[tyler] every time you talked to me about how hot luke was, i thought you meant an actual dude you knew named luke that you met here in college that i just didn’t know about.
[y/n] i literally told you it was 5sos luke
[tyler] no you didn’t
[y/n] YES I DID
[y/n] i do think it’s funny that
[y/n] you snapped at me while pacing in a parking lot at the arena
[tyler] it is very funny, i’ll admit that
[tyler] it’s still on sight if i see him too, btw. you better hope i don’t see him when i’m out in la
[y/n] honey
[y/n] i only need you
[tyler] that’s right, mamas
[tyler] you only need me.
oh, baby, i know that i can treat you better back in those nights oh, you wouldn’t cry from his stupid lies oh, baby, i was there watching wishing you to be mine
“luke this. luke that. who the fuck is luke?” tyler finally snapped as he ran his fingers through his hair, frustration laced in his voice as he paced back and forth outside of the arena where all of the aew talent’s rental cars were parked. he was dressed in only a pair of sweats, having been previously getting warmed up and pumped up for his appearance tonight when y/n suddenly called him and he excused himself to answer her.
he’d always answer her. unless he was working, then tyler would simply call her back as soon as he could. even though her calls would range from “serious” reasons to call him (such as, what he’d like for a holiday gift, when he was coming home and if he needed a ride, letting him know she was flying out for a show etc.) to simply telling him about her day or complaining about something that troubled her or just random thoughts she wanted to tell him, tyler would always answer.
between training to wrestle and shadowing his dad and following him on the road with aew, tyler wasn’t home often and he suddenly went from seeing y/n everyday to seeing her once or twice a week. this was the main reason why tyler would always make it a point to answer her calls.
however, for the past week, tyler has been hearing nothing else besides stuff about this luke person and “how hot he sounds” and “ugh i miss when he had his lip piercing.”
he wouldn’t ever think y/n was cheating on him. after all, she was speaking so openly about this luke person that tyler knew that it couldn’t have been someone she was seeing behind his back. but for the life of him, tyler couldn’t remember who the fuck luke was in her friend circle and he thought he knew all of their names.
when the line fell silent on the other end, tyler let out a huff, “hello? love, you still there?”
it was then that he heard her chuckle on the other end of the phone, and she asked him, “woah there angry man. you don’t remember?”
she knew tyler would only ever call her “love” if he was irritated. it was his way of letting her know that although he was most definitely irritated, he still loves her and that she shouldn’t question his feelings for her during their argument.
“clearly i don’t, and for the past week you won’t fucking shut up about this luke guy. do i need to remind you that the only man you need in your life is me?” tyler paused for a moment, even taking a second to stop in his tracks as he ran his own words over in his head. “well, and the other men in your family… and your close friends… but that’s besides the point.” he grunted before continuing to pace back and forth, his hand repeatedly smoothing and ruffling his hair out of habit.
“honey, what do i want for christmas?” she asked him, trying to help him jog his memory.
“ugh. those concert tickets for that one band you’ve liked since middle school.” he answered quickly, reminding himself to make sure he got the time off for when the concert date rolled around so he could tag along with her.
“smart boy. now, what’s the band called?” she asked again, and tyler could practically hear the wide smile that adorned her face.
“fuck if i remember. something with time and a season.” he grunted, stopping in his tracks and pinching the bridge of his nose. tyler squeezed his eyes shut as if it’d assist him in thinking harder.
“5 seconds of summer.” she answered for him with a hum, “i’m going to assume you don’t remember the names of the members even though i’ve pointed at them individually and told you there names and forced you to listen to all their songs with me.”
“why the fuck would i remember shit like that? i remember stuff about you like how these 5 seconds of summer guys are your favorite band. that doesn’t mean i have to remember who they are.” tyler groaned out, feeling his irritation start to bubble over. “where are you even going with this?”
“luke’s the lead singer. remember? the blonde one with the hair like you but he actually knows what a comb is.”
tyler fell silent at her words, and he felt his irritation shift into something else unrecognizable that made his entire body run cold. he opened his eyes and let his hand drop from his nose as he resumed his pacing. “i know what a fucking comb is, mamas.” he grunted, and it was then that y/n blessed his ears with a whole-hearted laugh that had tyler grinning.
y/n apologized softly, “sorry for talking your ear off about him, honey. they released a new-”
“released a new album and you’re very excited about it and judging by how much you’ve been talking about him, you’ve probably gone on your little fangirl spree and watched a bunch of videos, yeah i know.” he finished for her, and he heard her gasp out a soft “ok, maybe you know me a little too well” that had him chuckling. “sorry about getting all snappy with you, mamas. i thought you were talking about some dude you met.”
“what was the thing you said earlier? the only man i need is you?” y/n asked, although she already knew the answer.
“yeah.” he answered.
“you’re right, honey. when it comes to my partner for life, the only man that i need is you. i love you. i’m sorry if i made you feel insecure.” y/n’s tone changed. her voice grew soft as if to let tyler know that she truly was sorry for making tyler feel irritated and potentially insecure with her rambling about another man to him without clarifying that the man she was talking about was simply a celebrity.
“i love you, mamas. and for the record, i’m not insecure. i’m sure i can take that luke guy on anyway. i beat people up for a living.” tyler defended himself as he made his way back inside the arena.
her laugh coming through the speakers was enough for a wide dimpled smile to stretch across his face.
i want you to know, i love you the most i’ll always be there right by your side ‘cause baby, you’re always in my mind just give me your forever (give me your forever)
[y/n] the period at the end of the sentence scares me
[y/n] in like a
[y/n] “i can hear you say it in my head all possessively and i’d really like to kiss you right now” way
[tyler] good
[tyler] i’d love that
[tyler] too bad you’re about to get your diploma and i finally get to post you
[y/n] post me?
[tyler] it’s sitting in my drafts right now
[tyler] on all my social medias
[y/n] lies you only use instagram and tiktok but your tiktok is private and you’ve already posted me on there since i’m your only follower
[tyler] as i said, all my social medias
[y/n] wait i wanna see before you post
[tyler] respectfully, no.
[tyler] i can’t wait to tell the world about you
[tyler] the girls in my dms are about to have a field day
[y/n] LMAO
[y/n] you literally posting an average looking woman on your insta while you have literal models in your dms
[tyler] tf you mean average
[tyler] you’re beautiful mamas
[y/n] you tell me everyday, honey
[y/n] do yk the adam sandler speech?
[tyler] jog my memory for me
[y/n] “i’d like to give a shoutout to my fellow nominees, who will now be known as the guys who lost to adam fucking sandler”
[tyler] classic
[y/n] that’s how i’m going to feel once you post me and all the girls and guys who were tryna shoot their shot at you realize you have a girlfriend
[tyler] LMAO
[tyler] didn’t you also feel that way that one time
[y/n] WHEN HAILEY WAS ALL UP ON YOU
[tyler] see, i don’t even remember her name
[y/n] i do
[y/n] her face when she realized that you weren’t lying about having a girlfriend
[y/n] and then the double take after seeing my average ass
[tyler] not average
[tyler] you’re the most stunning woman in the world
[tyler] that’s why she did a double take
[y/n] ok yeah let’s ignore her snobby ass “you’re dating her” with the disgusting tone when she referred to me
[tyler] she can’t see properly with all the cum in her eyes from all the dudes she blows just to feel wanted
[y/n] TYLER
[tyler] what
[y/n] you’re so mean
[tyler] you love it when i’m mean
[y/n] yeah to ME in BED not to OTHER PEOPLE
[tyler] damn
[tyler] that sucks
[tyler] i hate humans
i want you to know that you’ll be the one and i’ll be the guy who’ll be on his knees to say i love you and i need you and say i’d die for you (just give me your forever)
senior ditch day happened to fall on the week before graduation. their class had decided to all go to a beach that was about an hour out from town. y/n and tyler had planned to hang out with their respective friend groups, but made it a plan to come back to the beach during the summer for their own date - preferably when their entire senior class wasn’t there.
their groups ended up next to each others on the beach, which tyler and y/n clearly didn’t mind because they could admire each other from afar. while tyler’s large friend group set up the large canopy they brought as well as laying out various towels and setting up tables, y/n’s small friend group was putting together their cozy beach pop-up tent complete with fairy lights and multiple towels for them to lay on.
later on, while her friends were all off towards the ocean, y/n had stayed behind to watch their stuff and just lay on her beach towel and rest. tyler’s friends all seemed to have the same idea, all of them already running off to the water with various water guns and other toys. y/n had let them know that she could watch their stuff for them and they were all game.
it had only been about 5 minutes since everyone left when tyler would return - still damp and covered in sand from having jumped into the ocean. “hey pretty lady, this seat taken?” he asked, gesturing to the spot beside y/n as she pushed herself up on her forearms slightly.
she smiled, laying back down and patting the spot beside her for tyler to join her. “it isn’t, but i’ll have you know: my boyfriend kills people.” she warned.
tyler laughed, laying down beside her and scooting in further so that he’d be under the shade. he lifted her head, sliding his arm under her head before setting it back down. “damn really?” he asked, watching her nod her head.
“why aren’t you out with your friends? i offered to watch your guys’ stuff, you know.” she said, turning her head towards tyler to find the man already looking at her.
“hailey got annoying.” he admitted with a sigh. “she ‘slipped’ and ‘lost her footing’ or whatever and fell on me and we both fell to the ground. which, you know, would have been fine if it was actually an accident, but when i tried to get up, she was practically trying to push me down and then i noticed she was trying to kiss me. so, i pushed her off, said i had a girlfriend and came back here.” tyler grunted.
y/n had known of her, but she had yet to put a face to the name. with hailey’s advances towards tyler, she had heard a lot about the girl. “which one is she?” she asked as she looked out at the area where hers and tyler’s friends mingled.
“uh.” tyler followed her gaze. “the one that is angrily walking over right now.”
“tyler! what do you mean you have a girlfriend? i asked the boys and they all said that you don’t have one!” hailey screamed while tyler and y/n sat up. tyler sighed, feeling y/n tense up beside him. he glanced over at y/n before looking up at hailey. “do you mind? i’m trying to have a talk with tyler here.” hailey suddenly turned her attention to y/n, who seemed like she wanted to be anywhere but here.
before tyler could speak, y/n rolled her eyes and said, “whatever you want to talk to him about, you can say it in front of me.”
“what does it matter to you? it’s a private serious conversation between tyler and i. tyty, let’s go somewhere else to talk.” hailey spat, taking a step towards tyler and reaching for his hand before y/n quite literally smacked her hand away.
“it matters what you want to talk to my boyfriend about without me being there.” y/n fired back, her eyebrows furrowing in anger as she stared up at hailey.
tyler knew better than to get between a cat fight, so he simply kept his mouth shut and slung his arm over y/n’s shoulders to pull her into his side in silent support.
hailey looked between the two of them, switching between staring at y/n’s fiery gaze to where tyler wasn’t even meeting her eyes because he had buried his face into the side of y/n’s neck to hide his amusement. “you’re dating her?” she gasped out, something like disgust dripping down her chin as she addressed y/n. “tyler are you blind? she’s a fucking nerd who doesn’t even know the first difference between lip oil and lip tint. tyler, you’re far too good looking to be with someone like her!”
y/n looked over hailey, acknowledging that the girl was near model status and could easily make it big if she got scouted out. “it’s sad that you got so angry over finding out your crush is dating me that you had to go after my looks because you know you lose in every other category.” she sighed, offering hailey a sad apologetic smile. “look, sorry or whatever it is you want to hear from me. but tyler’s been my boyfriend since the eighth grade and i don’t have any plans on breaking up with him at all. what about you, honey?” she suddenly asked tyler.
he shook his head, pulling his face away from her neck so he could smile at her. “hell no, the fuck? i’d be a fucking idiot to let the most stunning girl in the world go.” he hummed, knowing that it’d piss off hailey more.
y/n rested her head on tyler’s shoulder, watching as hailey seemed to lull over her thoughts in her own head. “fine. what can i do then to prove that i’m better than her?” hailey asked, seemingly determined to get with tyler.
“nothing.” tyler answered quickly. “there’s no one better than y/n for me. but i know people have their opinions and that’s why no one knows yet that it’s her i’m dating. she doesn’t deserve this shit that you’re giving her right now just because you think she doesn’t fit me based off of looks alone. although, i do suppose it‘s a good way of weeding out the fake bitches that i call my ‘friends’.” he paused once he saw a flicker of guilt seem to wash over hailey, before it was quickly replaced by the anger that was once there. “look, hailey, if you truly are my friend then you’d walk away right now and leave us be. i’m happy with y/n and in every universe, even if i were to meet someone first or if there was someone else in the picture, i know that i’d choose y/n every time.”
hailey looked between the two of them again, and this time it was y/n who had her face buried in tyler’s neck to hide the blush that had crept up on her face. “whatever.” she huffed, rolling her eyes and flipping off tyler. “your fucking loss. i hope the two of you last for another two weeks.” she swore before she stormed off, heading back towards the group so that she could get her mind off of being so wholeheartedly rejected by tyler.
“you know that one adam sandler speech?” y/n broke the silence that fell over them once hailey left. she pulled her face away from tyler’s neck, cupping his cheek and turning his head so that he could look at her.
“which one?” tyler asked, leaning in so that he could peck her lips quickly.
“the one after he won that award” she answered, smiling as tyler repeatedly pecked her lips.
“oh yeah, you show it to me all the time.” he hummed, his arm dropping to wrap around her waist as he hauled her into his lap.
“that’s how i feel right now, knowing that you’d choose me even though you have drop dead gorgeous girls willing to take my spot.” she admitted, straddling him and wrapping her arms around his neck as his free hand cupped her breast over the fabric of the bikini she wore.
“they’re pretty and all, but they’re nothing compared to you, mamas.” he whispered. “you look so fucking good in this bikini. the guys won’t stop staring over at you whenever you walk by. they keep asking me why i’m gatekeeping my ‘hot nerd friend’ and all of your other hot nerd friends when they ask me to introduce them to you guys and i say no.” he mumbled before pressing his lips against hers and kneading her breast to make her gasp against his lips. he glided his tongue across hers, swallowing her soft moans as he let his hand reach under her bikini top.
she giggled, pulling away from his lips and opening her eyes to look at him. “we’re in public, honey.” she scolded him, watching a pout form on his lips as his hand dropped from her breast to circle both of his arms around her waist. he dipped his head, pressing a kiss between her breasts and pulling his head away after. “also, i don’t get it. the girls in your group are way prettier.”
tyler shook his head. “different aesthetics. the girls in my group are your average mainstream hot girls in those teen movies.” he muttered. “but you? hot sexy nerdy girl with an ass and tits that’s finally being shown off because all you usually wear are sweats and a baggy ass hoodie. you’ve just got a different aesthetic. the guys and i have a type, and we all agree that hot nerdy girls are the best.” he mumbled, leaning up to kiss her cheek. “too bad i’ve got the baddest bitch of them all, though. isn’t that right, mamas?”
she leaned down to peck his lips before shuffling off of his lap and standing up. “all yours, daddy.” she muttered just loud enough for tyler to hear. the cocky dimpled grin that tugged at his lips had let her know that he did hear it. y/n held her hand out for him to take, helping him stand up before letting their hands drop. “i’m not driving and my friends don’t drink. think you can pour me a shot before everyone comes back?”
tyler laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her in for another kiss while his hand fell down further to grab her ass. “anything for you, mamas. want me to mix you something up, too? i just learned how to make a lychee drink just for you since i know you love lychee.”
do you remember? i was on the aisle waiting for you, babe
[y/n] oh shit they’re gonna hand out the diplomas
[y/n] fucking finally
[y/n] 4 years and thousands of dollars to walk across a stage, get a piece of paper and shake some hands!!!
[tyler] i’ll make sure to scream so loud i lose my voice tomorrow
[y/n] don’t you have work
[tyler] mamas
[tyler] i don’t even talk for tv most of the time
[y/n] true
[tyler] thank god you’re near the beginning, i ain’t sitting through all these other fuckers
[tyler] i just want to kiss you already
[tyler] my pretty mamas
[tyler] OH YOU’RE LINING UP
[tyler] I SEE YOUR SHORT ASS BETWEEN THE TWO REALLY TALL DUDES
[y/n] SHUT UP
[y/n] putting my phone away now!
[y/n] take lots of pictures and videos for me
[y/n] thank you for being my number one supporter
[y/n] i love you so much, tyler
[tyler] i love you the most, y/n
[tyler] and for the record
[tyler] i’m your number one supporter for more reasons than just being your boyfriend
[tyler] if it wasn’t for you
[tyler] god knows where i’d be right now
[tyler] thank you for supporting me even though i’m a college dropout who’s trying to make it big in wrestling
[tyler] congratulations, my forever lover
[tyler] i’ll see you soon
saw you in your gown i was crying all my tears i told myself that you are the one (you are the one)
tyler didn’t know why he suddenly felt emotional, but seeing her hug her parents with her diploma grasped tightly in her hands while she still had her cap, gown, and stole on was doing something to him. he wiped away a tear that had suddenly fell from his eyes and shifted awkwardly on his feet as he waited for her to greet him.
“are you crying, tyler?” she asked as soon as she let go of her parents and turned her attention to tyler.
“just a little.” he admitted with a laugh, spreading his arms out wide for her as she jumped into his arms. he wrapped his arms around her midsection as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. he spun her in a circle, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “i’m so fucking proud of you, mamas. congratulations.” he mumbled into her neck before setting her back down on her feet gently.
“thank you, honey.” she whispered, unwrapping her arms from around his neck and taking a step back from him. she turned to face her parents who were already looking at them questioning what they just saw. “mom, dad. do you want to take photos? my boyfriend can take them for us.”
before she could give them time to react, y/n was already shoving her phone into tyler’s hands and taking her spot back between her parents. she threw her arms over their shoulders and pulled them closer to her, smiling widely with a loud “cheese” while her parents simply stared at her and screamed “boyfriend?”
the flash of her phone camera caught their attention, and soon they were all smiling and going through a variety of different poses while tyler took their picture.
“how long have you and tyler been dating? i thought he is just your best friend?” her dad asked beside her while they posed.
“since eighth grade.” y/n answered sheepishly.
her parents echoed her words loudly, both of their heads snapping to look towards her while tyler held back a laugh as he captured the moment.
“i got my degree in the end, didn’t i? he wasn’t a distraction at all.” y/n pointed out, reminding her parents of the rule they set. she grinned widely as tyler continued counting down “3, 2, 1” as if it were a mantra between each photo he took.
a moment of silence fell over them that left y/n feeling uneasy while her parents seemed to think over her words. it was her mom that’d cut through the silence. “she’s right, darling. we can’t say anything now. our baby’s all grown up, has her degree, and now we don’t have to worry about taking care of her anymore, she has her own man.” her mom laughed, hooking her arm with y/n’s and resting her head on her shoulder.
y/n’s dad sighed in defeat, standing behind them and wrapping his arms around the both of them. he rested his head on top of theirs and said, “at least it’s tyler. the kid isn’t too bad, and he’s already making money and doing his own thing. you just come to me if he starts any trouble.”
y/n giggled, turning around in her parents arms after tyler snapped the photo so that she could hug them. it certainly went better than she pictured, as she expected her parents to put up a little more of a fight rather than give up so easily. she felt them hug her back and she sighed in relief. “i’m going to be honest. i thought you guys would kill me for keeping him from you for so long.”
“if you told us this at your high school graduation, then we would have definitely sent you far away for college even if you didn’t want to go.” her dad admitted with a laugh. “but your mother’s right. we don’t have a say in who you date now. the rule was that you couldn’t date until you got your degree from college because you’d get distracted and fail school. but you managed to graduate all while having a boyfriend and proved us wrong, so who are we to suddenly break you two apart?” he continued, pulling away from the hug and taking his wife’s hand in his.
her mom looked over at tyler who had stopped taking photos to pull off the hoodie he wore and was in the process of shoving the hoodie into his backpack he always had. she laughed, covering her mouth with her hand and nudging her husband with her elbow. “darling, look at tyler.”
y/n and her dad both looked at tyler’s direction just as he slung his backpack back over his shoulders, a wide smile on his face as he proudly wore his “i love my girlfriend” shirt with a photo of y/n on the front. “honey, what is that?” y/n screamed, her face burning red with embarrassment.
“my new favorite shirt.” he answered without missing a beat. he took a step forward, holding out y/n’s phone for her dad to take and his own phone for her mom to take. “can you take our photos, please?” he asked, already reaching for the signs of y/n’s heads so that they could pose with them. he thrusted one of the signs into y/n’s hands before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and guiding her to step back with him.
y/n’s mom happily got into the rhythm of taking photos for the two as they posed, clearly having been silently hoping for years that tyler wasn’t just her daughter’s “best friend”. mother knows best, after all, and y/n’s mom wasn’t a stranger to the way tyler has been treating her daughter. she’ll admit she did find it odd when her daughter was in middle school that tyler would always be with her when she came to pick her up, and had once caught a whiff of weed in the air that she knew just had to come from the strange boy. but as tyler seemed to become a permanent fixture in y/n’s friends that she’d hang out with in high school, she chose not to bring it up again simply because she knew her daughter was still at the top of her class. she also chose not to make it known that she had once peeked out the window when she knew tyler was dropping y/n home after asking to take her out with him for his birthday dinner and just so happened to see them kiss in his car.
y/n’s dad on the other hand hesitated for a moment, simply taking the time to observe the way the two interacted. he had never wanted to assume anything was going on between them in the years he had known tyler, and y/n was still excelling in her academics in a way that he thought she wouldn’t be able to if she had a boyfriend. clearly, he was wrong. and as he watched tyler carefully handle her as they posed for each photo, he knew he didn’t need to worry. after all, if y/n’s been dating him since eighth grade, he was sure he didn’t have too much to worry about. he taught y/n to never settle for less, after all. “let’s get a photo of you two kissing so i can post it on facebook and give everyone in the family a heart attack.” he called out as he stood beside his wife, pulling up y/n’s phone to snap a photo as the younger couple stared at each other with red faces.
y/n’s mom cheered loudly as tyler and y/n kissed for the photo, tyler’s arm circling around her waist and dipping her as y/n’s hand came up to cup his cheek.
i want you to know, i love you the most i’ll always be there right by your side ‘cause baby, you’re always in my mind just give me your forever (give me your forever)
“straight to my house, tyler. no funny business. do i make myself clear?” y/n’s dad asked, his hand still firmly gripping tyler’s hand. although tyler was taller than him, tyler couldn’t help but feel as though he were six feet shorter just from the way he knew that if he fucked up now, the older man would certainly have his head on a stick… literally.
“yes, sir. no funny business.” tyler reassured him, ignoring the giggles from the two women that were standing behind him.
the four of them were all in the parking garage, already ready to head home so that they could continue the celebration with family that was already waiting at y/n’s house. y/n had asked if she could have tyler drive her to their house, and after a little hesitation, her dad agreed.
y/n was already showing her mom all the photos she and tyler had taken together throughout the years, and her mom wouldn’t stop gushing over the fact that her daughter had such a handsome boyfriend who was making a name for himself in the wrestling business. tyler eventually walked over to them, his hand finding its place on y/n’s hip.
“drive safely, tyler.” y/n’s mom told him, pulling him in for a hug. “see you later, baby! don’t do anything in the car that should be saved for the bedroom.” she teased before going off to join her husband in making their way to their own car.
“fucking finally.” tyler breathed out, turning his full attention to y/n as he planted both of his hands on her hips to pull her against him. he dipped his head down as y/n’s arms came up to wrap around his neck, pulling him down further and meeting him in the middle for a heated kiss. “one pair of parents down, one more to go.” he mumbled against her lips as he backed her up to press her against the side of his car.
she parted her lips, allowing tyler’s tongue to slide against hers and whimpering against him. y/n pulled away, not wanting to let themselves get too carried away. “wanna call them now?” she asked, unwrapping her arms from around his neck so that she could cup his face in her hands instead. she reached up further, running her fingers through tyler’s hair in an attempt to calm the mess, although in all the years she’s been with tyler - she already knew that was nearly impossible.
“no need. already sent them the photos while we were walking here. just waiting for them to reply.” he laughed, leaning in quickly to peck her lips once more before taking a step back. “i’ll post on my instagram tonight. i’m afraid that the longer we stand here kissing and not driving, your dad will actually kill me. i’m certain he was just being nice because there’s so many people here.” tyler said, taking a step back and letting his hands fall from her hips. he waited for her to step out before pulling the door open for her, waiting for her to slide into her seat before shutting the door and jogging around to the other side.
“let’s get you home and celebrate with your family, mamas.” he said as he slid into the drivers seat, quickly starting the car and pulling on his seatbelt.
“at least this time, when my aunts and uncles all ask me if i have a boyfriend, i get to pull you around and be like ‘here he is!’” y/n laughed as tyler leaned over the center console to give her one more kiss before pulling out of the parking spot and driving off. of course, they kissed at every red light and stop sign as they were unable to contain their excitement of being finally able to freely and openly love each other.
i want you to know that you’ll be the one and i’ll be the guy who’ll be on his knees to say i love you and i need you and say i’d die for you (just give me your forever)
tyler had retreated to y/n’s room two hours into the party. after being bombarded with loads of questions from y/n’s relatives, he needed some time for himself. but he also needed to answer his mom and dad’s facetime call, so he used that as an excuse to be up in her room.
“hey mom! hey dad!” tyler greeted as soon as he picked up the call, laying back in y/n’s bed and kicking off his shoes.
“since eighth grade?” taz asked, clearly in disbelief at the fact that tyler had managed to successfully hide his relationship from them for so long. especially since tyler had just started working with him and was on the road with taz.
“yeah. been going strong for years and years. not one break up or nothing. mom taught me how to treat my girl right.” tyler laughed, as he opened up his instagram app, already heading to his drafts so that he could add a few more photos and videos to the post he had already typed up.
“where is she? i miss y/n, i haven’t seen her in so long ever since you started working with your dad. now it makes so much sense why you’d always have her over when we haven’t even met your other friends!” tyler’s mom asked, seemingly happy that her son had a girlfriend that she had already met and thought of highly.
“i feel so dumb. she’d sometimes fly out to our shows and tyler would just be like ‘oh i just miss my best friend, you know. been around her my whole life and now i can’t walk down the street to see her.’ i can’t believe i took that ‘best friend’ story and believed it.” taz gasped out in disbelief.
“she’s downstairs with the rest of her family. i think she’s drinking with her cousins right now. i’m up in her room because her aunts and uncles have been asking me questions nonstop. some of her uncles are apparently fans of you, dad. they went real crazy over it.” tyler hummed. he switched apps to his messaging app and opened up the group chat he had with his parents. “i’m about to post her on my instagram since we can date openly now. i’ve been waiting years to show her off. do you think she’ll be mad if i post this one?” he asked them as he sent a photo of y/n in a sports bra and tyler’s ring gear, with her hands taped and everything. she even had the ftw championship slung over her shoulder, and for effect, her hair was tousled and messy. y/n was pulling off her best “mean mug” face although she was failing horribly.
his parents laughed as soon as they saw the image, and taz joked, “she makes the championship look better than you do.”
“i don’t think she’ll mind, baby. but your dad and i are going to go have dinner now. behave yourself and for the love of god, don’t have a kid. we just found out you have a girlfriend of eight years, we don’t need to be sent to the hospital because we had a heart attack over news of you getting her pregnant.” his mom said.
tyler said his goodbyes to his parents. once the call dropped, he went back to his instagram app to continue editing his post.
“honey? you in here?” y/n’s voice rang throughout the room as she peeked her head in.
“hey mamas. just about to post you. is it cool if i include this photo of you cuddled up against my chest even though there’s a big ass hickey on my collarbone?” he asked, holding up his phone for her to see although she was still in the doorway.
she felt her face heat up as she walked further into the room, shutting the door behind her and sitting at the edge of the bed. “sure, why not? let’s give your die hard fans even more reason to be angry at me.” y/n laughed.
“god, i’m so happy i get to hear that laugh forever. hold these hands forever. kiss these lips forever. love you forever.” tyler admitted softly, his gaze locked with hers as her hand came up to cup his cheek. she leaned in and tyler met her in the middle, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss and tasting the alcohol that lingered on her lips.
he grimaced once she pulled away, his tongue peeking out to swipe at his bottom lip. “what the fuck are you drinking down there? is that jd?” he asked after tasting the alcohol, pushing himself up so that he was sitting up on the bed.
“there’s henny if you want that instead. but come down soon, they’re already asking about you again.” she hummed as tyler’s arm came around her from to wrap around her waist. she leaned into his chest as he kissed her, moaning against him as his tongue wrapped around hers. y/n placed her hands firmly against his chest, pushing him slightly as she pulled away. “later, daddy. if you convince my parents to let you stay the night.”
“even if they didn’t let me, i’ll just sneak back in, mamas.”
just give me your forever
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ilguna · 3 months
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Can you do finnick odair with Marjorie by taylor swift for the piano sessions . Like finnick is grieving after reader dies in the sewers . I LOVE some good finnick angst
Ps I absolutely adore your work
☼ marjorie (Finnick Odair) ☼
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warnings; swearing, death, death mention.
wc; 1.7k
notes; Piano Sessions: songfic, Marjorie by Taylor Swift.
--
District Four is haunted by the ghost of you.
Finnick knew it would be hard coming back here, which is exactly why he’s been putting it off for so long. He needed more time to come to terms with the fact that you wouldn’t be by his side when he did it. It helped that he wasn’t immediately released from the Capitol directly after the rebel’s victory.
There was a set time period for the victors from the Star Squad to recover from their adventure in the sewers. Whether it be from physical, emotional or mental wounds. In Finnick’s case specifically, all three. He nearly got torn apart by the pale slimy mutts if it weren’t for you, coming in to save him. Ultimately, losing your life for him.
It’s hard for him not to blame himself. He knows that’s not what you would want, it was your choice to jump in front of him. He wishes you hadn’t. He’s sure that he would’ve found a way to get out of there, and he’d much rather you be here, than him. You deserved to live. 
The vote that Coin conducted regarding another Hunger Games with the Capitol’s children delayed his trip home further. In fact, it set off a whole domino lineup that he’s sure Katniss never thought would happen. She knew there would be consequences, of course, she just didn’t take the time to think about how severe it would be.
Finnick voted no to the idea twice. Once for him, because he would never subject them to the years of torture he had to go through, especially since they had no hand in the Games. And one more time for you, because you would never have entertained the idea. 
In the end, it didn’t matter, because the vote went through. The same evening, Katniss was to execute Snow on live television, when instead she took the life of Coin for suggesting such a tasteless idea. This was when the dominos began to fall. Her actions caused another couple weeks of trial while they assessed her wellbeing. While that happened, an emergency election took place, where Commander Paylor took charge of Panem.
When Katniss was granted permission to go home to District Twelve, so was everyone else that was in Capitol custody. For the first time in Finnick’s life, he could go anywhere, do anything. Despite the fact that it should’ve felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, they felt heavier. When he imagined the light at the end of the tunnel, he always pictured it with you. Not by himself.
There were many people around Finnick that tried to support him. The most important of them being Johanna, who did tell him that he didn’t have to go back to Four if he didn’t want to. She wouldn’t mind it if he decided that he wanted to live with her for a little while, or even permanently.
With him being away for so long, he had to go home. He ached for it. The same way he ached for you to be in his arms, for you to kiss his face, for you to calm the rising grief in his chest for all the people you lost together.
Finnick’s never felt more alone.
He wasn’t sure what he expected when he stepped off the train a month ago, but it wasn’t the flood of memories that hit him while standing on the station. All of the times you’d gone to the Capitol together to mentor for the Hunger Games. How he held your hand every time while you carefully stepped off, because of the one time your foot slipped. His promise for it to never happen again.
It didn’t end there. It doesn’t matter where Finnick goes. It doesn’t matter how far he runs. He’s gone to the beach, and relived the picnics and the sunrises and the stargazes. The way you’d brush the sand from his skin, the minutes that never seemed to end when he had his eyes on you.
The first day he went to the market, he was met with all the sorrowed faces that frowned in his direction. Every single one of them knew how much you meant to him. If you were out of the house, usually he wasn’t too far behind, going wherever you went. If it meant he was able to spend more time with you.
It got worse when he returned to Victor’s Village, where he was met with a cemetery of houses that belonged to the victors that used to live there. With the rebellion, almost everyone had been wiped off the map by the Peacekeepers. And if not by them, then the rebels, who were afraid of the loyalists.
Besides Finnick, the only other victor that survived is Annie, but she lives with Katniss’s mother now. It was too painful of an idea for Annie to return here, she likely would’ve broken down completely. She can’t handle the memories the same way that he can.
He wishes he could say that he escapes reality in his house, that he’s able to pretend that nothing’s ever changed. And you’re still across the street, baking cookies with the door wide open. But his house is haunted, too. Finnick knew that one day he would regret inviting you to live with him at his house, when you had offered for him to move into yours.
He thought it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Finnick never intended for the two of you to fall apart, he was going to hold you two together for the rest of your lives if you allowed him to. He never considered that an outside force would wipe you off the face of the planet forever.
He should have taken your offer, because maybe then it wouldn’t be so painful to stay here, in his own home. Maybe he wouldn’t be crying in his bed at night, clutching your pillow, begging for you to come back. For a sign that you’re still around, waiting for him.
You’re everywhere, you’re inescapable. Your favorite tableware is in his cupboards, the one that your family has been using for generations. The one that your kids were supposed to use as they grew up, and eventually take as they gave it to their own children.
Your favorite soaps are in his bathrooms, which he’s too afraid to use. He had to buy new hand soap to avoid using the one that you’d gotten. He doesn’t touch the shampoo and conditioner in the shower. He doesn’t even sniff the body wash that sits on the ledge of the tub. 
Your decorations are carefully placed throughout the house. You brought life to his kitchen, his living room, his bathrooms, his hallways, his bedroom. Pieces that he never would have thought to grab in the past, because he couldn’t see the point of having them.
Your favorite smell is embedded in the blankets on the bed you shared. With your preferred perfume still sitting on the bedside table, waiting for you to come back. It would bother Finnick when you would spray his side of the bed, but now he would give anything for you to do it again.
Your makeup is on the vanity on the far side of his room, the jewelry box is propped open, the silver and gold collecting dust because he doesn’t want to close it. And your clothes are still taking up half of his closet, which he resists smelling every hour of the day.
Johanna told him to get rid of all of it. Or, at the very least, bring it back to your house, but he can’t bring himself to do it. It’s yours. For a brief moment in time, this place was yours too. Even if your belongings are gone, your feet are still imprinted in his wooden floors. In his mind.
You linger.
There’s a trace of you in every path you walked, in every object you touched, in every person you talked to, and in every breath of air that Finnick takes. This becomes increasingly obvious the longer Johanna stays with him.
“Maybe you and Katniss should spend some time together.” Johanna suggests, arms crossed over her chest. She looks over Finnick. “I heard that she’s not doing very well either.”
Of course not. Katniss lost more than she probably ever thought she would. She went through with being the Mockingjay to free Panem, but more importantly, to keep her sister safe. The whole reason why she ended up in that position was because she didn’t want her sister to go into the Games. Now that she’s dead, not even her own mother will return to Twelve. And the person she loved hasn’t stepped foot back, either.
When Finnick tears his eyes from the pot of fake greenery in the corner to look at her, the scowl on her face smooths out.
“No gossip.” She breathes, arms unfolding. “(Y/n) would’ve scolded me by now.”
Finnick presses his lips together, wanting to keep the growing pressure behind his eyes contained. 
“You and Katniss got along though, didn’t you?” She asks. “I thought I saw you getting close while we were in District Thirteen.”
He nods. “We had a lot in common.”
“You still do.” She says, the expression on her face has changed once again. This time to concern. “Finnick, are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”
“I’m sure.” Finnick breathes.
If Johanna stays, then she’ll ultimately end up trying to erase the time you put into him. She’ll try to take his mind off of all the things he knows about you. How you loved the amber skies in autumn. The way you’d pull him into the freezing beach water, while he complained the whole time.
The song you’d hum on the way back to his house, holding his hand up until the very minute you got into the shower together. He should’ve asked you what you were thinking about, he should’ve listened to every word.
‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from him.
--
this was part of my 3k celebration!!
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skyewritesstuff · 5 months
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paper rings (mike's version)
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my masterlist.
entry 2 in my (taylor’s version) songfic series.
summary: despite the recurring hardships, you and mike make a vow to stay together through it all.
pairing: mike schmidt x reader
fandom: five nights at freddy's
warnings: tooth rotting fluff, yall. :')
notes: based on "paper rings" by taylor swift. has been beta read. yall, i swear i'm going to leave the josh hutcherson tag alone for a bit after this, i promise lmao. i also know i need to update my masterlist. i'm going to do this soon!
word count: 3k
At this point in your life, you did not need an alarm clock. 6:30 in the morning started at 6:20 when you’d hear the tell-tale honk of your boyfriend Mike’s car being locked. You technically didn’t have to be up until 7:00 to get Abby up and ready so that she’d be on the bus right at 7:45, but you always liked to greet him when he walked in since work had never been something he’d regard as an easy part of his life.
You’d known Mike since high school. You’d been chemistry lab partners, occasional study partners, and then prom dates. It was as cliche as a “will they/won’t they” situation could be until you two separated after graduation. You’d gone off to college and Mike had stayed local. You didn’t reconnect until you ended up back home working as a nurse in the local hospital and one of Mike’s various work (fight) related injuries landed him in the ER. After reconnecting there and exchanging numbers, you began casually seeing Mike whenever you could. Sometimes he’d flake due to job and schedule changes, not feeling up to it, or needing to meet Abby's needs. That was until the dates became more frequent and it wasn’t so casual anymore. You then moved into his small home with him and Abby, sticking by him despite his numerous job changes.
You got up, putting your discarded pair of Hello Kitty pajama shorts back on despite the black t-shirt of Mike’s falling to a point where they were almost covered. You then wandered into the living room, still a little sleepy, but glad to see Mike after spending all night sleeping on your own.
“Hey, you…” You said with a yawn, reaching to take his vest and keys from him to hang them up.
“What are you doing up?” he asked, sounding rather groggy himself.
“You ask me that every single day…” You laugh, leaning in to gently kiss his lips, “I just want to be there for you as soon as you get home, because I’ve been on graveyard before and it’s the longest, shittiest night you can have.”
He leaned in and kissed you again, his lips curving up into a slight smile, “Thanks, baby…as always.”
You take his hand and begin to walk with him back towards your shared bedroom, knowing you only have about twenty minutes or so to lay with him before you have to get back up for Abby. Mike strips down to his boxers and then crawls into bed with a heavy sigh and you follow suit, not even bothering to take off your pajama pants knowing what little time you had was going to pass by in what felt like an instant.
“Things still super weird down there?” You ask, referencing the pizzeria where Mike had taken his security position.
“As fuckin’ always…” He mumbled as he scooted into your side, hiding his face in the side of your neck.
“I wouldn’t get too comfy, babe…I’ve gotta get Abby up and situated in like ten minutes.” You warned, only to get a passive ‘Mhm’ in response. “I’m just warning you.” You rolled your eyes affectionately, wrapping one arm around him, lacing it into his hair, and running your fingers through his hair as you picked up one of the random books he had on the bedside table. This was a book with photos of nature and wildlife in the mountains of Wisconsin. As you flipped through the pages, you were trying your best to avoid falling back to sleep. As much as you wanted to lay there with Mike, you knew that if you fell back to sleep it’d mean that Abby would miss the bus. You’d either have to take her to school yourself, causing your morning to be shot or she’d miss school altogether, ruining any chance at having a day at home with just you and Mike on your day off.
Right at 7:00, you carefully slid out of bed, putting a pillow in your place. This didn’t seem to phase Mike, who was sound asleep when you walked out of the bedroom to head across the hall to wake up Abby.
Abby was already awake, sitting up in her bed. She was still in her pajamas with a sketchbook in her lap and a crayon in her hand. She was drawing a very abstract-looking yellow rabbit when she looked up at you.
“Do I have to go?”
“Yes…Please get up and get the outfit we picked out last night, okay?”
“Is that Mike’s shirt?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Gross”
With only short instances of protest over what shoes to wear, brushing her hair, and the lack of orange juice in the house, Abby was ready for school. She collected her backpack and gave you a tight hug before running out the door towards the yellow vehicle. Once you were certain she got on safely, you headed back to the bedroom, yawning as you crawled back into the warm bed. You settled under the covers and then moved over next to Mike, who was now turned with his back towards your side of the bed. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed your lips to the back of his neck gently.
He stirred slightly, moving to rest his hands against yours before lacing them together. “Welcome back…” he murmured, “Abby on the bus?”
You nodded, “Mhm…even ate two bowls of cereal this morning.”
“Good work, baby.” he chuckled before turning towards you, wrapping both arms around your waist to snuggle into you. “I try.” You replied with a soft laugh, kissing his forehead. It wasn’t much longer before Mike was sound asleep again and you were starting to drift yourself. The blankets were just too soft and warm. Factor in Mike’s body heat and you were a goner from the start. Sleep took you over sooner rather than later and you found yourself snuggled up into Mike as you finally got to go back to sleep.
Roughly three hours later, you were woken back up by the sound of the trash truck coming to collect the garbage from the cans placed by the curb. You groaned, wanting nothing more than your peace back as you slept next to your boyfriend, but instead, your eyes didn’t feel as heavy anymore.
You turned to Mike, letting out a sigh of relief when you noticed how soundly he was sleeping. It wasn’t a normal occurrence by any means. Normally, he’d sleep for an hour or two before being jolted awake by nightmares from his past and whenever you could be there, you’d try to hold him and coax him back into what you hoped would be a more relaxing sleep.
Today, he was lying in your arms with his head on your chest, breathing slow and steady and his expression was peaceful. You stayed next to him, attempting to fall back to sleep to no avail for around an hour before deciding to slip out of bed and head to the kitchen. You began to prepare breakfast, despite it being almost noon, turning on the small radio in the kitchen so that music would softly begin to pour out of the speaker without being loud enough to wake Mike.
You were focused on the food, trying to make sure nothing burnt, blissfully unaware of Mike leaning against the wall in the entrance to the kitchen. “You know, I’ve told you before you don’t have to do all of this for me.” He sounded both sleepy and amused, but his sudden presence still caused you to jump, emitting a small gasp as your hand came to rest on his chest.
“Michael, I swear to God…”
He fully laughed this time as he watched your reaction with a smirk, “Cute”
“Not cute, you scared the shit out of me. How many times do I have to tell you to stop sneaking up on me?”
“What can I say? Maybe those creepy ass animatronics at work are rubbing off on me because I swear I’ve seen them move without anyone pushing the button…” He spoke, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning into you. He knew you were a bit of a scaredy cat. You’d made it known several times how you could handle all the real-life gore of a lifetime at work, but horror movies…let alone being in an abandoned building for five nights a week…were an absolute no-go for you.
A chill ran through you, partially due to what Mike said and partially due to the kisses he kept casually pressing against your neck, “That’s so weird. I hate that. I hate that. Maybe they just kind of settle…like how the house settles and makes weird noises.”
“Or they’re possessed..” You could feel him shrug from behind you and you rolled your eyes.
“Like that happens…who’s going to pull a Chucky and voodoo their souls into a giant animatronic bear?”
“The world’s full of freaky people.” he said, letting go of you to go sit down at the table. You promptly turned on your heel and leaned back against the counter, prepared to drop the sarcastic comeback that immediately popped into the forefront of your brain.
“Oh, I know that for sure. You should meet my boyfriend.”
“I’d love to. He sounds like a winner. He’s probably pretty hot too.”
“You’re a loser.” You laughed.
“Please, at least your first jab was original. Your mother calls me a loser like that’s my actual job title.” He was also laughing despite the awful reality of his statement.
You sighed, “And that’s not true and you know that. She and your aunt are just shitty people and when we get our shit situated to the point that we do not need them…then, no contact and we live stress-free.”
You turned back to the stove and started plating the food as Mike replied, “I genuinely don’t think stress-free is ever something in my future.” Your heart sank as it always did whenever Mike would make a statement like this. He’d made one mistake, as a child nonetheless, and it’d started a chain of events that consumed his entire life. He deserved better and a much brighter future than the present you two were currently situated in.
“You know I love you, right?” you said, turning, and putting some of the plates on the table.
He nodded, looking a bit confused by your question, “Yeah…”
“So, let it be known, that if it’s the last thing I do…We’re going to have the best life. You, me, and Abs and we’re going to be fine..” You sat the rest of the food out and then walked over to his chair, nudging it with your foot so he’d scoot back from the table, allowing room for you to sit on his lap.
“I mean…If this is where I think it’s going, I’ll be more than fine.”
You pursed your lips, taking a deep breath before putting both hands on each side of his face. His hands were on your thighs, trailing upwards very slowly as if you wouldn’t notice. “Mike…focus…what I’m saying is…I’m with you. I’m with you no matter what and even if things are shitty and could be better, you’ve still got me and you’ve still got Abby at the end of the day. I know you’re going to tell me no…but again, if we got married the benefits would be there for you and possibly Abby and…”
He shook his head, “I’m not marrying you for benefits. That’s just…shitty. That's beyond my levels of shitty. I want to marry you, but not like that. You talk about me deserving better all the time, but you deserve better than that. You take care of all of us and haven’t ditched me even after I beat the ever-loving shit out of some guy at the mall. You’re a saint. If I can’t properly propose with like..a ring, candles, Abby not harassing me about when I’m going to do it like she’s been doing for the past…I don’t know…six months…then, I’m going to put it on hold.”
You chuckled at his comment, “You think too highly of me, baby boy.”
He wrapped his arms around your waist and raised an eyebrow, “Do I, though? You do all of this on the regular and I don’t even ask you, and in fact, I’ve told you to stop.”
You shrugged, still laughing softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, “Just accept the love, Mike.”
You leaned in and kissed him gently. “You could do so much better, you know?” he stated. You kissed him again.
“How can I do that when I’ve already got the best?”
You spent the rest of the day with Mike, relaxing at home, watching TV, and napping off and on until Abby got home from school. Once her homework was done and everyone had dinner, Mike had gone to lay down for a bit to prepare for his nightly shift at Freddy’s and you were sitting at the table with Abby. Abby was drawing, per usual, and you were trying to finally put some of the pictures of Abby, you, Mike, and all three of you that you’d gotten developed placed into the frames you’d thrifted a few days prior.
“Why do we have to look at Mike any more than we have to?” she stated, eyeing a frame you’d just shut and were putting to the side containing a picture of the three of you on Abby’s last birthday.
You looked at her and then eyed the picture that she’d been drawing for the past hour. “That’s pretty bold coming from someone who puts him at the center of all of their artwork.” You laughed, causing her to immediately flip the paper over and act like nothing was there to begin with.
“You say that like you don’t pick on Mike too!” The younger girl rebutted. You shrugged in response. She had you there.
“You both just gang up on me. I’m outnumbered here. Two girls against me.”
You looked up and smiled, seeing Mike standing against the wall in a very similar stance as he’d appeared in the kitchen that morning.
“If you two have a baby and it’s a boy, we’ll all be even.”
“Abby!” You and Mike called her name in unison causing her to look up at the both of you as she flipped her drawing back around and grabbed a black crayon. No matter how long you and Mike spend informing Abby that she can’t just share whatever thought crosses her mind, all efforts seem to be futile. The comments should be expected at this point, but they still never ceased to shock not only you and Mike but her teachers and peers as well.
“What? I’m right.” she said, shaking her head before turning her attention back to the picture.
You let out a long sigh, sinking into your chair a little more as you went back to finishing the frames and Mike made coffee as part of his routine before work. He sat back at the table and took a sip, looking at what you were doing before looking at what Abby was doing. He sat his coffee mug on the table and took a piece of paper from Abby.
“Hey!”
“You’ve got like…twenty more pieces. You’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, but I could’ve had twenty-one!”
You rolled your eyes at the banter between the two siblings before putting the photo frames into a box so that you could start putting them out after Abby went to bed. You set the box aside and then turned your attention back to Abby and Mike. Abby was delicately coloring in the sky in her picture and Mike was ripping a small square out of the paper. You watched him carefully as he started folding the small square in a few different directions, his brows knit together in concentration.
You let your head come to rest on your hand as you watched Mike. He remained completely oblivious to your observations of him and kept working until the square of paper had been transformed into a small circular shape. He reached over and grabbed Abby’s red crayon, drawing something on top of it, and then put the crayon back before the girl even noticed its absence.
“What are you…”
Before you could finish your sentence, Mike had gotten out of his chair and dropped to one knee right in front of you, holding up a paper ring with a small misshapen heart drawn on top. Abby abruptly turned her attention to her brother’s action, the dark blue crayon in her hand falling to the floor as her jaw dropped slightly.
“Y/N L/N, I love you more than life itself…which doesn’t sound like it’s saying a lot coming from me, but I promise it is. You talk about giving me a good future, but I just want to do the same for you. You deserve so much more than I’ll ever be able to give you, but I promise I’ll love you for the rest of my life. Will you…one day…let me replace this with an actual engagement ring…and marry me?”
You couldn’t help the way your face heated up at his words, your hands coming to cover your face to try to hide your reaction.
“Are you serious? Is this real? Do you really want to marry her? Is this finally happening?” It all left Abby’s mouth in a string of what felt like run-on sentences.
“It’s not up to me anymore, Abs.” Mike said, nudging your leg with his free hand that wasn’t holding the ring.
You laughed, shaking your head as you removed both hands from your face and held your left hand out, earning a gasp out of Abby. “I’d marry you whether you replaced the ring or not. I just want you.”
Mike grinned and then slid the paper ring onto your finger, “Then, I’m yours.”
You grinned back before leaning in to kiss him, your left hand coming to rest on his cheek as he smiled into the kiss.
“Oh gross…no…let’s skip to the part where I get to pick out a pretty dress.”
“Abby!”
In paper rings, in picture frames, and all my dreams
Oh, you're the one I want
241 notes · View notes
leighsartworks216 · 6 months
Text
Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist
Y'ALL I ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY LINKS ON THE FIRST MASTERLIST ASDBHASD
Main Masterlist
First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist
AO3
BG3 Discord
Request Rules
Tag List Form
Astarion
On Purpose - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: self-doubt, references to manipulation, self-deprecation, references to dissociation, dissociation mention, hurt/comfort
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To Be Warm And Comfy - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: self-deprecation, low self worth
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Je Te Laisserai Des Mots - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: none
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A Spawn Could Get Used To This - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: embarrassment
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No Alarms and No Surprises, Please - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: mentions of murder, tense moments, injury, burning flesh, bruises, bones breaking, blood mention, nausea mention, angst, literal hurt/comfort, soft Astarion moments
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I Can't Get Enough Of You - AO3 - Astarion x fem!Tav/Reader
SMUT Warnings: vaginal fingering, swearing, references to past sexual abuse (vague), alcohol mention, blood drinking mention
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Moon Blood - AO3 - Astarion x gn/fem!Tav/Reader (can be read by any gender period haver I just didn't know what to tag it as)
Warnings: blood, blood drinking, period fic, references to sex, swearing
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Butterfly's Repose - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: nightmares, crying, references to past abuse, low self-worth, hurt/comfort
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Darlin' I'd Wait For You - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: none
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Say Something Loving - AO3 - Astarion x male!Tav/Reader
Warnings: manipulation, references to sex, low self-worth, swearing
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Feel Good - AO3 - Astarion x transmasc!Tav/Reader x Gale Dekarios
Warnings: mentions of chest scars, insecurity, mentions/references to dysphoria, crying, implied sexual antics at the end
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My Dearest Prince - AO3 - Astarion x male!Tav/Reader
Warnings: arranged marriage, marriage proposal, secret relationship, brief smut, light hurt/comfort, idk how royalty works
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Just A Trim - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: scissors, brief references to low self-worth, anxiety, pure fluff
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Follow You Down - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: fear of death, blood, mentions of death/dead bodies, religion, anxiety, fear, being trapped, crying, swearing, angst, hurt/little comfort, possibly OOC
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Brown Eyes - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: swearing, slight sexual implications
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Somethin' Stupid (Songfic) - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: alcohol, referenced alcohol consumption, mentions of manipulation, slight hurt/comfort
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Pretty, Perfect Skin - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
SMUT Warnings: swearing, biting, blood drinking mention, hair pulling
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Nuptial Bed - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
SMUT Warnings: swearing, explicit smut, blood, blood drinking
Fem and Masc versions on AO3
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Not Tonight. Not To You. Never Again. - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader (can be read as platonic)
DEALS WITH HEAVY THEMES Warnings: drugging, references to sexual assault, swearing, blood, murder, slight protective Astarion, no actual assault happens, hurt/comfort
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Good Boy - AO3 - Astarion x transmasc!Tav/Reader x Gale Dekarios
SMUT Warnings: oral (w vagina), threesome, top Astarion, bottom Gale, praise kink, hair pulling, slight scent kink, some nipple play, mentions of top surgery scars
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You Are Mine. Never Forget It. - AO3 - Ascended Astarion x gn!Spawn!Tav/Reader
SPICY Warnings: ascended Astarion, dom/sub, obedience/controlling, blood, blood drinking
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The Sleeper VS The Insomniac - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: none
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Your Rogue - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: swearing, Karen, so many italics
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Where Can I Touch You? - AO3 - Astarion x gn!plus-size!Tav/Reader
SMUT Warnings: swearing, body and self-worth issues, some discussion of boundaries, oral (Tav receiving), hair pulling, masturbation
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Migraine Pains - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: migraine descriptions, pain, light angst if you squint, swearing, OOC Shadowheart
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The Burlesque Boutique - AO3 - Astarion x Tav/Reader
SMUT Warnings: explicit smut, crying, orgasm denial, swearing, one reference to past trauma, pegging
Male/masc/AMAB version
GN/Fem version (strap-on)
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Safety - AO3 - Astarion & nb!OC
Warnings: references to past abuse, nightmares, swearing, panic, blood
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Love Sick - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: references to Astarion's 200 years under Cazador
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A Couple Hours - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: nudity, bathing together, very slight angst
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This Is Nice - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: references to Astarion's time under Cazador
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Live For Me - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST
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Remedies - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: pain, crying
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Morning Adoration - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: sex mention, talk about how you smell (/pos)
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Insolent Little Brat - AO3 - Ascended!Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: blood, choking, biting, spicy, (unhealthy) power dynamics
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Obedient Pet - AO3 - Astarion x male!Tav/Reader
SMUT Warnings: swearing, dacryphilia/crying, dom/sub, collars, gagging, not being able to breathe (for a moment), anal sex, face-fucking, references to punishment
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Tell Me More (Tomorrow) - AO3 - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Warnings: none
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Wyll Ravengard
Horn Care - AO3 - Wyll x male!OC
Warnings: mentions of alcohol and food, possibly OOC
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Cure Wounds - AO3 - Wyll x male!OC
SMUT Warnings: swearing, scratching, marking each other (hickeys), bruises, brief mention of battle scars, anal fingering and sex, possibly OOC
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Dragon Slayer - AO3 - Wyll x male!OC
Warnings: swearing, crying, hurt/comfort, descriptions of violence
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Dominate Person - AO3 - Wyll x male!OC
DEALS WITH HEAVY THEMES Warnings: swearing, blood, gore, violence, possession, mentions of vomiting, minor religious reference, grief, character death, broken bones (nose)
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A Decent Man - AO3 - Wyll x AFAB!Tav/Reader
Warnings: period fic, blood, menstruation, anxiety, embarrassment
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Halsin Silverbough
Endings and Beginnings - AO3 - Father-figure!Halsin & gn!OC
DEALS WITH HEAVY THEMES Warnings: references to past abuse, depression, self-destructive behaviors, crying, animal death, hurt/comfort
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Haarlep
Little Mouse - AO3 - Haarlep x Tav/Reader + Raphael
DEALS WITH HEAVY THEMES Warnings: implied non-con, rough sex, vaginal or anal sex, blood
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207 notes · View notes
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[ fake it til you make it ― childe ] "'cause i'm a real tough kid, i can handle my shit. they said, "babe, you gotta fake it til you make it" and i did." cw. gn!reader, angst, hurt/no comfort, idol!au, refers to him as ajax for most of the fic, petname (darling), light swearing, toxic workplace, reference to drowning, mentions an unhealthy relationship, post break-up, bottled up emotions (get some help), use of y/n, not proofread
aquamarine's findings. first work on a new blog & also the first of many ttpd songfics... this was way longer in my head, i struggled to put it into words… // i can do it with a broken heart, taylor swift.
since that god forsaken day, life had began to feel like tidal waves, far out at sea. rough, tormenting and pulling your body further and further under with each lap of foaming white waves until you were lost in the riptides, suffocating as water fills your lungs. no matter how much you held your breath every time you were pushed under again, you were beginning to tire; cold, shivering, limp. yet you would continue to hold your breath, bracing yourself for impact. the sky darkens and there's another wave approaching you, ready to shove you below the surface. your eyelashes flutter, accepting it - maybe this is where peace hit you, finally.
"y/n?"
your eyes snap open, quick to squint at the harsh white light of the room that welcomed you back to reality. oh, yeah. you were taking a bath after your schedule for the day, your limbs aching from the hours of practise and rehearsals you'd endured. slowly turning your head towards the bathroom door, you settle back into the world - what was left of it for you. it wasn't much, hollow and void of his presence as your eyes catch the bottle of his shower gel on the side of the tub that you simply couldn't bring yourself to get rid of. after all, it was evidence that the whole affair wasn't a figment of your imagination or some publicity stunt despite the fact you were definitely beginning to question if it was the latter in the end.
"yeah, sorry," you call out, barely above a mumble as you shuffle to sit up from the miniature waves of bath water that was licking at your cheeks like a cat. the sound of the water is all that fills the silence as it trickles and splashes around you, "i think i zoned out."
"you think?" the shrill voice of your manager retorts and you can almost picture her on the other side of the door, her bony hands on her hips hugged by a pencil skirt - she must own millions, - and tight up-do of a bun she keeps greying hair in daily, "y/n you've been in there two hours."
you bite back the urge to let the words 'is that all?' escape your chapped lips, choosing to wet at them with your tongue instead as you finally move stiff limbs to raise out of the bath, pulling the plug and wrapping the soft cotton towel around your shivering body. shivering like you're still keeping your head above water, barely able to breathe. tired eyes land on the sight of your reflection in the bathroom's vanity mirror, the dullness of your eyes standing out more than anything when you realise you'd long lost the sparkle in them when ajax had called off the relationship.
the longer you stare, the longer the person in the mirror doesn't seem like you; not the you you've always known nor the you you've built for the public eye, for the job you buried your youth in. you were an idol, claimed by the critics to be "born for the spotlight" but in reality, it couldn't make you any less than anxious than it already did. all those eyes on you, their whispers and their stares when your life - your business - becomes the hot topic of their dinner conversations, perhaps gossip over coffees and pastries.
at the end of the day, you were nothing but a person on the stage, the screen to them and the world would still keep on revolving.
it was a brief relationship but it meant the world to you. indulging yourself in an affair regarding fellow industry colleague ajax wasn't your brightest move but as the months mellowed out, summer's green grass turning into autumn's golden leaves, it turned into something you didn't regret. the word 'regret' feels bitter on your tongue now despite you still not regretting it but maybe, just maybe, you could have saved your fragile heart in advance. in the end, you learnt that when he said he'd 'love you with all his life,' it was a life cut too short.
ajax - commonly known to the public as 'childe' - was a rapper for an idol group from snezhnaya, one that particularly blew up on social media right now in a popularity burst across teyvat. you'd have few interactions here and there before the two of you reached out to each other on instagram - you learnt that you should have just ignored that dm request.
when you blink, you're back at his side backstage to one of his performances. he's mic'd up, stiff gel in those ginger locks and his freckles so rudely covered by a thin layer of foundation. there's a grin on his face as those icy blue eyes look down at you while a make-up artist brushes the faintest of lip tint onto those plush lips. there's no chance you're stealing a kiss now unless you want to be scolded by his staff team.
"lost in your thoughts again, darling?" he chirps teasingly, nudging you with his elbow. a weak smile filters onto your face as you nervously glance around the dressing room. was this really what you wanted in life? ajax's arm ropes around your waist, his grip tight as he has no intentions to let you go.
and he doesn't, at least he didn't have that intention at the time. every time his eyes landed on you, he saw something fragile, a porcelain dish held together by the kintsugi that was your job as an idol. something he could mould and he knew he could, he was determined. how was he so sure he could? because you'd do anything for survival, even if it means battering your happiness with a baseball bat.
that's exactly what ajax had done with you; moulded you, shaped you and made you co-dependent on him. it had only been a few mere months but you really couldn't live without him, even if it was damaging your job and reputation. he twined you in his fingers like putty, lacing you in and out of every knuckle as he held on tight to you - and then just as the high was starting to fade, he dropped you, shattering you on the ground in a heartbeat.
when you blink, you're staring at yourself in the mirror of your own dressing room and the echo of shattered fine china rings in your ears until your gaze slowly drifts to the staff member by the door, her shaking hands holding an empty tray and her panicked gaze on the broken plate on the ground. there's a furious expression on your manager's face and you brace for the impact that comes but there's nothing, not a word.
instead, the room returns to normality. faces blur as they scurry about and you furrow your brows, looking back at your reflection so that the stylist can continue to work with your hair - you know you're going to hate what he does regardless. your manager's heavy footsteps stop to your left, her arms folded across her chest as her hawk eyes narrow at your reflection. you imagine she's scrutinising every detail of your body and that only makes your heart beat faster.
"you need to move on from that rapper, y/n," she states bluntly after a few moments silence. your breath hitches in your throat, eyes refusing to look up and meet that piercing gaze, "it's affecting your work and the media are catching on."
"i know," you mumble shamefully, unable to find the words to fight back against her. your heart aches for him, wanting to fill the void he's left and to grasp why he did what he had. it wasn't something you'd ever just 'move on' from, "i'm sorry, i'll work on it."
"it doesn't need 'working' on, it needs to happen right fucking now. do you want to cancel this tour early?" her tone is bitter and there's finally a sting in your eyes despite not wanting to ruin your make-up artist's hard work, clearing your throat in a fragile response to her words, "you've got to start faking it. he's only going to hinder your progress if you don't."
"no, i don't. i'll move on, i promise."
lights blind you; the flashing of cameras and phones alike paired with the stage lights and accompanied by the cacophony of screams that come from your fans. a wide grin covers your face, eyes twinkling as you start the first song of your tour's setlist, holding a microphone in your shaking hand. perform, you tell yourself mentally. perform and they'll never be able to read what's going on in your head, they'd never understand if they got a glimpse into your world.
as the crowds scream for more, unharmoniously belting the lyrics along with you, you're glad that they don't notice how ajax has been avoiding you like the plague for weeks, negligent to the way that you are still utterly obsessed and infatuated with him. they don't notice from afar how crystalline tears decorate your eyes while you perform, centre of the stage and under the watchful eyes of the whole world, ready to criticise you if you break.
you're tough, the voice in your mind tells you with a slight waiver in its words as if it doesn't believe itself, you can handle your shit.
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nogenderbee · 26 days
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕀 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦- ℕ𝕆 𝕎𝔸𝕀𝕋 ₊˚ˑ༄
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @nenes-numberonefan request: HELLOOO
ima request the same thing i requested @/mizu-nights but i’m a silly goose and i wanna see everyone’s style of writing
basically can i request rui, nene and tsukasa x reader (separate) and they have a platonic relationship with our beloved y/n but then they accidentally confess their love to the reader, sort of like the verse “the time is right your perfume fills my head the stars are red and oh the nights so blue, and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you ❤️” from the song something stupid. thank youuu xxxxxx love youuuuuu 😍😍😍🥶😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍(very hyper rn)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ HIIII!! Yeah absolutely! I don't tho songfics normally tho, so I just based on your description and hopefully that's gonna be good enough!
But omg, the moment I saw this, I wanted to run to mizu-nights and read it because I apparently missed this fic- but NOPE I didn't wanted to accidentally write the same thing sooo I held myself back ^^
I totally did not copy lines from event for Tsukasa part-
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff
Affiliation with @virtualbookstore
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You've agreed to help Tsukasa with practicing for his upcoming performance, Romeo&Julia. He got the role of Romeo while his other friend from troupe got Julia. He just wanted someone to help him get that feeling of saying it right to soemone's face and... maybe he had planned something more too?
"O Juliet! Sun of my life! I beg of you, allow me your fair hand in marriage!!"
He was now on his one knee, holding your hand like pure gentleman with his left hand. This made you both happy and regretful for agreeing to help him... it's obviously very sweet to see him like this but it's also not helping your feelings for him... and you could swear you're blushing...
"Sweet Y/N...!"
But then he said your name... and you finally looked at him just to see him clearly in state of daydreaming, not stopping reciting next lines, so you had to stop him before he gives more hints than you can handle!
"Wait, wait... wasn't the second main character's name Juliet? Why did you say my name...?"
His face immidietly gained red hue and his hand didn't stop holding your gently. His eyes still looked focused on yours as if he haven't woke up from his dreamland, but his words told you his state was something completely else than you imagined...
"Y-Yes I know..."
You could only stare at him in slight shock... you didn't knew what to say and so did he. He was barely holding himself from turning it into a play someway... but he repeated one sentence in his head, "go big or go home", if he blurted it out, might as well go along?
"O Y/N, sun of my life, I beg of you, allow me to take you on a date!"
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@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your future star!
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You and Nene were hanging out on a rooftop at Kamiyama. Even if you're from Miyamasuzaka, let's say Emu teached you a trick or two~ So either way, you can enjoy your time with your dear friend!
You leaned in, wanting to see what she's playing and for once, instead of seeing shooting or rhythm game, you found her playing some... visual novel? Or was it otome game?
"Hey Nene? Are you playing... otome game?"
"Mhm, yeah."
She responded, clearly way into the game to process what she's saying. But that never was a problem for you since she still responded and was honest if anything when she was in this state.
"Look, you can even name your love interest~"
You looked at the screen with even more interest and saw 2 names... "Nene" and "Y/N". You get why her name would be here but yours? Were you... no way, right?
"Is... is Y/N the name of your... ingame love interest?"
"Yeah, real love interest too."
She finally looked up from her phone right at you with this soft and charming smile, when she saw your blush she was even confused for a second! Untill she realized... she just blurted it out, didn't she?
"Oh- uh- I mean... not like... Like..."
Now it was her blushing like crazy not knowing what to say... she was clearly between 2 thoguhts and had no idea which to choose... oh did you know it was all about if she should tell you the truth or a lie...
"Am I actually~?"
You couldn't help but encourage her a bit, hoping to hear the truth. If she actually saw YOU as the love interest, the real one! Or... if it's just a misunderstanding...
And luckily, you didn't had to wait for long because right after your question, she gave you a little nod, easy to miss if you blinked... but her blushing face and the way she looked away would tell you it either way~
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@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bl4cktourmaline @nenes-numberonefan - come get your shy gamer~
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Rui has texted you he forgot his coat from his house. And you as good friend, agreed to bring it to Pheonix Wonderland. He made sure you get a free ticket after all! So how could you say no to free fun at amusement park AND helping out your dear friend?
When you finally arrived at the Wonder Stage, you saw him tinkering with the robot, untill he heard someone's footsteps... his mood immidietly lighting up once he saw it's you!
"You're finally here! And I see you got my coat with you~ I can't express how glad I am for your help~"
"Don't mention it! You offered me a free ticket for that so how could I've said now?!"
He chuckled and finally came over to get his coat back, which you gave him back. And in another second, he had it on!
"But still, you're a great person for bringing it to me at THIS HOUR."
"Awh~ Don't you melt here or I'm gonna melt too!"
You couldn't brush off how sweet it was and opened your arms for quick friendly hug, since you clearly had a bit of appreciation moment going on.
"No, I mean it... you're such a sweetheart... I really couldn't avoid falling for you~"
"Huh-? What?"
After your questioning, he finally got a hang of himself pulling away with faint blush, clearly not knowing what to do. But his first reflex was to lie...
"I-I mean..."
But he seemed to stop himself... he realized lying would only make it last longer... so he decided to pull himself together, take big breath in and take the risk.
"Yes... I'm really sorry. I'm aware this is probably gonna break our friendship but... I indeed did fell for you..."
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@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline @r4wrclwz @superstar-ethereal - come get your crazy inventor~
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