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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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ruporas · 4 months

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kisses of affirmation (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #ruporas art #oughrhhhh finally posting this here..... Very Romancey very Cutesy Very what do you call it... Indulging #for the longest time i debated on whether to post this comic at all on my socials - for some reason this was almost the limit to how far i #could push a romantic alternative that cusps ooc-ness for vw but then i ultimately decided its Fine. i couldv made it much more unbearable.#someone on twit qrt this with “vash is such a loser” which means i havent lost my way completely yet so its ok #(sidenote) script is a bit old !! bc this was meant to be a part two to an old comic..! the first kiss comic from feb #it branched off quite a bit that listing this as an actual part two would be kind of awkward now - but that was the initial intention #anyway. please enjoy!#long post

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thenewgirl76 · 2 months

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I'll Make You Believe

While the whole "asking a ghost how they died is the worst taboo ever, so don't do it or you'll be in a world of hurt" headcanon is always fun to implement to either create temporary conflict or simply move the story along, I think it'd work just as well on both ends if it was only a minor offense.

Like if you were to ask a once living ecto being how they died the most negative response you'd get would either be some variation of "None of your business puny mortal" or an explanation using the most vividly graphic, stomach turning details as an act of petty revenge as well as insurance you never ask again.

So what could possibly be a way more serious, far more dangerous no-no when it comes to ghosts instead? Well, how about stating ghosts don't exist/there's no such things as ghosts? The reason why being you're invalidating the trauma they've experienced in their last moments.

Makes no difference whether you were aware of this or not. If they find out or worse, it's said to their face? You better hope they'll settle for beating you black-and-blue. Because the alternative is becoming a ghost yourself by the time they're done with you.

Now in dpxyj fics when Danny interacts with Wally and the whole "ghost are/aren't real" argument between them comes into play it's usually depicted as a trivial disagreement. But what if you were to make it more angsty by inserting this take on lack of ghostly etiquette?

Let's say after getting to know his teammates better Danny starts talking about his origins (in vague detail) and exploits, only to eventually be interrupted by Kid Flash declaring that he can't possibly be a ghost as they don't exist. And Robin, Aqualad, Miss Martian, and Superboy all become quite alarmed watching Danny go from easygoing to looking ready to beat Kid Flash to a pulp, as he's now fighting back his ghostly nature. To avoid giving in to the urge he abruptly leaves with a dismissive attitude, much to KF's confusion.

From there it spirals. KF, not realizing he's poking a hornets nest continuing to voice his skepticism whenever the opportunity comes up and each time Danny barely manages to keep it together. Until one day Danny in an explosive rage snatches up KF and in a tone colder than ice tells him he knows what he is, what he went through to reach that state, and that he has no need to justify any of it to him.

Then he leaves once more before he really loses it. Before going after him Miss Martian informs KF of how Danny opened his mind to her and that for his sake she hopes he never shares those memories of what he went through with him. Feeling bad now, KF tries to apologize once Danny returns. Which results in failure again and again since Danny keeps giving him the cold shoulder.

After having yet another apology disregarded KF, in mounting frustration blurts out that he wishes he understood what has Danny so convinced he's a ghost, unaware a certain wish twisting genie he was warned about had been invisibly lurking in the vicinity the instant Danny was elsewhere. Along with the rest of the regulars, as soon as KF's denials had spread to the Ghost Zone Desiree was on the warpath, intent on showing just how real ghosts truly were. By sheer spite and determination she beat everyone else to him, just in time to hear him say the forbidden word, presenting her with the perfect means of retribution.

With a "So you have wished it so shall it be" KF is magically transported to an underwater submarine, occupied by Black Manta. Unable to run as freely without potentially damaging the sub and causing it to flood, the fight upon his unexpected arrival is drawn out to the point KF starts to feel his hyper metabolism weakening him. It's when he's close to dying of starvation that one of the more incompetent goons sends him crashing into the stash of ectoplasm Manta had smuggled with the intent of using it to pollute the waters of Aquaman's Kingdom. The last thing KF sees before blacking out is Desiree looming over him with a smirk of satisfaction.

#dpxdc #danny phantom #young justice #danny fenton/phantom #wally west/kid flash #desiree #halfa wally west #new ghost do's and don'ts headcanon #denial of ghosts' existence is seen as crossing the line #even worst than calling them non sentient and non sapient #for ghosts it's the equivalent of an insensitive ignoramus telling a physically or mentally disabled person to stop faking #wow this just might be my longest post yet.#went on for way longer than i expected or wanted

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peri-requiem · 2 months

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The Apothecary Diaries | EP 4 'The Threat'

#the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #maomao #lihua #anime #anime gifs #anime edits #eye strain cw #long post cw #my gifs #probably my longest gif set yet. apologies for its length but I wanted to get in as much as possible #this scene really sold the anime for me. maomao is so badass

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k111lemall · 1 month

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Take Me Home, Country Roads. James Hetfield X Fem!Reader

“I hear her voice in the morning hours, she calls me. The radio reminds me of my home far away.”

(the words that are bolded are a flashback!!)

word count: 2,683

warnings: age gap (James is 27 and reader is like 22-23), country James, public sex??, makeout sesh, p in v sex (PROTECTED!! FINALLY!!)

Everyone in town knew him. The second they saw that black Chevrolet 454SS driving down the dirt road, all of the girls followed behind his truck barefoot and in their short denim shorts and bathing suit tops trying to see where he was staying at and try and see if it had any availability - even though their homes were right down the street.

The last time he was here, I had just started my job at the diner and only seen him outside talking to some girls. My dad worked on his farm and my mom was a librarian, meaning by the time they got home I was leaving for work. But yesterday I had seen him drive past me as I walked to work and we made eye contact for a split second and when I got to work I recognized the black truck in the parking lot.

“Hey, I got a table over there for you. Only one guy, shouldn’t be too much trouble.” Terri said and pointed over to the table, I turned my head and saw the familiar face and sighed. I grabbed a menu and walked over to him. “Welcome, here's a menu. Can I get you started with something to drink?” I said and set the menu down in front of him. “You guys serve alcohol?” He asked “We have beer? Only in cans…” I replied “I’ll take a Budweiser.” he replied, “Great, I’ll be back with that shortly.” I said, smiled, and walked back behind the counter. I grabbed the beer and walked back over to his table and set the beer down on the table and opened it.

“Decide what you want to eat yet?” I asked, “I’ll just have some fries.” He said and closed the menu and handed it to me. I noticed the notebook he had in front of him and a pen, “Whatcha writin’?” I asked “Trying to come up with song lyrics, but nothin’’s comin’ to me.” he said and rubbed his head “Well there’s plenty of inspiration around town if that kinda stuff helps you.” I said and smiled, “Thanks…” he looked at my name tag “…Y/N.” he said and smiled “Your welcome stranger.” I said and walked to the kitchen to get the fries.

I stepped into the kitchen and saw Terri and Paul (the cook) standing there smiling and looking at me. “What?” I asked, “You sure were gettin’ friendly with Mr. Hetfield out there.” Terri said and grinned even more “Mr. Hetfield?” I asked “James Hetfield? Lead singer of Metallica? Grammy winner? Millionaire?” Paul said, looking slightly offended. “Doesn’t ring a bell,” I said and set the menu down and walked over to the fries and picked them up. “I’m sure your daddy listens to his band, you probably should too. He’s quite famous ‘round here.” Terri said and smiled as I walked out of the kitchen.

“Here's your fries!” I said and handed them to him. “Thanks,” he said and smiled. I looked back at his notebook again and noticed some words written down. “Looks like you got something there.” I said and pointed to his notebook “Yeah, just a starting point. You like music?” he asked “Love it.” I replied he leaned back against the booth he was sitting in, “Who do you like?” he asked, I thought for a moment “I like The Doors, Black Sabbath, Fleetwood Mac…” I replied, “Yeah there good, you listen to anything heavier than that?” He asked and smirked “I’m sure I’ve listened to some of your songs if that's what you’re implying.” I replied and laughed.

James laughed “I couldn’t tell if you were catching on to who I was.” he said “I knew who you were, I just assumed you didn’t want me to make a big deal out of it.” I replied “You’re right. Every other girl here has been jumping on me and yelling in my ear. It’s nice to meet someone a little tamer.” He said and smiled. Suddenly the kitchen door swung open and Terri walked over to the table, “Hello! Sorry, this one right here loves to talk everyone’s ear off!” Terri put her hand on my shoulder “I’m sure you need to get back to whatever you’re up to Mr. Hetfield so I’ll bring you the bill now.” Terri smiled and kept her hand on my shoulder as she walked me back into the kitchen.

“What the hell?” I asked her “You need to be careful with rockstars like that, they want one thing and one thing only. I’m just lookin’ out for ya dear that's all.” Terri said “I guess you’re right. Thanks Ter.” I said and smiled “Your welcome baby, I’m gonna go give him his check and your shift ends in about ten minutes but - I’ll let ya leave early. It’s already past midnight.” she said and grabbed his check off the counter and walked out of the kitchen.

I grabbed my bag and clocked out before walking out of the back door and starting my walk back home. After five minutes or so I heard the hum of a truck and turned my head to see James driving up next to me. He stopped the truck and rolled down the window “Need a ride home?” he asked “Uhh, sure! Thanks!” I got in the truck and set my bag in my lap. I gave him the directions to get to my house and for most of the ride it was silent, but I could see out of the corner of my eye James looking at me. “Soo..” I began “How long are you gonna be in town?” I asked him “A couple more days. Maybe two or three.” He replied “Oh, where are ya headed to after that?” I asked again “San Francisco. Bay Area.” he said “Oh, I’ve never been.” I replied and he looked at me “You’ve never been?” he said, shocked “Nope, never left this town before.” I said and he shook his head “Aren’t ya bored here?” He asked “I mean, kinda…but everyone I know is here. So, it’s not like im lonely ya know.” I said and he nodded.

Finally, we pulled up next to my mailbox. I grabbed my bag and as I began to open my door James started to speak. “I would love to see you again. You got any plans tomorrow night?” he asked “No, I’m off work tomorrow since it’s Saturday.” I replied “I’m thinkin’ of going down to the lake to fish tomorrow evenin’. Wanna come?” he asked “Sure. I’ll give you my number.” I said and reached in my bag and grabbed a napkin and a pen. After I wrote my number down I handed it back to James. “Thanks for the ride home Mr. Hetfield.” I said “Please, call me James.” he said and smiled

“Alright, goodnight James.” I said “Night Y/N.” he said and smiled.

That was last night, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He had never affected me before when I would see him at the grocery store, or at the bar, so why did he seem like all that to me now? When I woke up - he was the first thing I thought about, and the plans me and him had made. I went downstairs and saw both my parents sitting at the dining table. “There she is! Good morning!” my mom said as I walked over to the table “Mornin’ mama.” I said as she kissed my forehead “Mornin’ daddy.” I said to my dad and he looked over the newspaper at me “Mornin’ baby doll. How was work last night?” he asked.

“It was…nice.” I replied “Anything fun happen?” He asked, just as my mom came around the corner with a plate of pancakes and a glass of orange juice that she set down in front of me before walking back over to her chair next to my dad “Well actually, I met that rockstar that comes into town.” I said, my dad closed his newspaper. “Oh really?” he said “Yeah, he gave me a ride home too.” I said as I looked down at my pancakes.

“You let a boy take you home? After midnight?” my dad asked “Yeah, he invited me to go fishing with him this evenin’.” I said, “And you think your going?” My dad asked “Dad, I’m an adult now I can make my own decisions.” I said “It’s just…well…you know how those rockstars are, we’ve heard the stories. I just don’t want you to get hurt baby thats all.” he said “I won’t, he seems sweet.” I replied. “Exactly, he “seems sweet”. Doesn’t mean he is.” my mom butt-in. “Mama…” I said “I told you I dated a boy in a band before right?” my mom started “Oh mama not one of these stories, please.” I begged.

“Harold Manchester. He played the bass in his brother’s band, and I would watch him play at every gig. Then, he would go out and drink like fish with his buddies after and leave me all alone. I don’t want that for you.” My mom said “Momma, none of his bandmates are in town. It’s just him.” I said and took a sip of my orange juice.

“I want you home no later than 11:30 you hear me young lady?” my dad said “Yes sir.” I replied “Alright, me and your Momma will be at work - so call one of us as soon as you get home.” He said and I nodded.

Shortly after breakfast they both left for work. There was some kind of charity event at the library and my dad was going to the bar to watch a football game with his buddies.

The evening came a lot faster than I expected. I put on a pair of jeans and a brown belt, and a white t-shirt that sat right above my belly button and a pair of white sneakers. I curled my hair and put on my favorite blue eyeshadow and mascara and pink lipgloss. I heard James honking downstairs so I sprayed some perfume and quickly ran downstairs to meet him. I walked over to his truck and hopped in the passenger side. “Ready to go?” he asked and I nodded.

The drive was quick, James told me about the song that he had come up with last night and how he just needed to figure out the guitar chords to go along with it. Once we arrived he pulled into a parking spot (a patch of dirt) and we both got out. He placed the back of his truck down and grabbed his fishing supplies from the bed of it. “You can sit here if you’d like.” he said and pointed to the part he had laid down earlier. I jumped onto it and watched as James set all of his things up.

“James?” I asked as he casted his first line. “Yep?” he asked “Why are you fishing at night? Haven’t the fish gone to sleep?” I asked and James laughed “Some of em’ stay up.” he said as he finished chuckling. “You wanna try?” he asked and looked back at me. “Sure!” I said and got off the back of the truck and walked over to him. He handed me the rod and stood behind me. “You ever fish before?” he asked “Yeah, when I was way younger though. My grandpa had a creek near his house that he brought me to fish at.” I said “That’s nice. Haven’t done it since then?” he asked again “Nope. No one’s wanted to take me since then.” I said and turned my head to look at James and smile. It took a long time before there was finally a tug and I reeled it in.

Me and James both laughed when we realized that I had just caught a beer can. We sat down on the back of James truck and talked as we sipped on a can of beer James had brought. Eventually James looked up to the sky “See all em’ stars?” he asked and I looked up “Yep.” I replied “Crazy that they’re real big, but look so small to us.” James said, I thought about it for a moment “Yeah, that is crazy…” I said. I looked back down at my beer, then noticed James looking at me in the corner of my eye. I looked over at him “What?” I asked and laughed “Nothin’ you’re just real pretty.” he said and I could feel my face begin to heat up. “Thank you James. You’re not too bad yourself.” I said, James scooted closer to me. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked at James.

“Sure.” I replied, James brought his hand up to the side of my face and brought his face closer to mine before finally closing the space between us by putting his lips on mine. I got up on my knees without breaking the kiss and straddled myself on James’ lap. He placed his hands on my hips as he continued to kiss me, before slowly rocking me back and forth on his lap. I could feel the sudden rise in his pants and broke the kiss to look down, noticing the very evident tent in his jeans.

“James.” I said, trying to catch my breath. “Yeah?” he replied “You got a rubber?” I asked and he smiled. He reached into back pocket and pulled one out and began to unbuckle his belt. In the meantime I started to undo my belt and take off my jeans and t-shirt leaving me in my pink panties and white bra. James ran his hand up the sides of my waist. “You’ve done this before?” he asked “It’s been awhile, but I know what to do James.” I said and smirked. James kissed me again.

I brought myself up and placed one hand around his shaft and moved it to where my hole was before sinking down on it. James kissed the sides of my mouth as I let out a shaky moan. He wrapped his arm around my waist and helped lift me up and down on him.

I placed my hands on his shoulder for support myself. James grunted every time I would come back down on him, “Fuck, so pretty baby.” he said “James..fuck…” I whined “It’s okay baby, your taking me so fuckin’ good.” he said. I tilted my head back and James picked up the pace, and the stars in the sky weren’t the only stars I was seeing anymore.

“James…I’m so close…” I said “Cum for me baby.” James said, and seconds later my vision went white and my body fell onto James shoulder. I regained myself as James calmed me down by running his finger up and down my spine, just as the cold nighttime air blew onto us. James brought his hand over to my chin to make me look at him.

“Come to San Fransisco with me…” he said “What?” I asked him “I can’t stand not seeing you baby, come with me. I can pay for your flight and you can stay with me.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “James, everything I know is here.” I said “I know, but you’re all I want now. You’re what I was writing that song about.” he said, my gaze towards him softened. “Me?” I asked quickly “Yeah baby, you - you’re the inspiration for the music.” he said and smiled. I leaned in and kissed him quickly.

“James…I’ll think about it.” I said and looked at him “Alright, promise me you’ll think hard?” he asked, “I promise.” I said and gave him one final kiss.

#hell444you #hell444youwrites!!#metallica #metallica smut #james hetfield #james hetfield smut #1990s #the black album #finally i posted #holy macaroni #missed you guys 😝😝#dont worry daddies home #i think this is my longest story yet #only took me like 2 weeks to make #Spotify

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thingspeoplesayintoontown · 2 months

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bonus post!

important plot point for piper happened last night

a story

#i think this is one of the longest posts thus far but it was all worth it.png #and yet little does she know she will be put back in because pluto will just get rebuilt </3.png #i got the sticker on my main tho so W #toontown #toontown corporate clash #corporate clash #ttcc #things people say in toontown

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mari-lair · 1 year

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Kou's perception of Mitsuba, and how it changes, is fascinating to me.

(Quick note: I’ll be calling the human ‘Sousuke’ and the supernatural ‘Mitsuba’ to make it less confusing)

Let’s rewind to Mitsuba’s introduction in Hell of Mirrors: Kou leaped at the idea that Sousuke was back. Even after Tsukasa told him this isn’t the same person he used to know, merely an "artificial ghost with part of Sousuke's soul", Kou subconsciously rejected the idea.

Mitsuba’s existence brought his grief back full force, and while he could sense that Sousuke’s memory doesn’t perfectly match reality, logic was never his strongest motivator in hell of mirrors, he is so full of hope and desperation: He wants Mitsuba to be Sousuke so bad.

He can’t let go of the past, he is not seeing Mitsuba, just shadows of Sousuke.

Kou wasn’t able to tell this is not his old friend, simply perceiving Mitsuba as an amnesic Sousuke.

Kou wants Mitsuba to 'remember' him when we know from Mitsuba's empty mirror that he has no life to remember. Kou calls him what he had called Sousuke and gives him Sousuke’s photos, visibly desperate to get his friend back.

Even when they get out, Kou did not allow himself to face reality, talking about Mitsuba as if he was Sousuke, pushing what Tsukasa had said away.

“I thought he was gone for good” “I didn’t think I’ll ever see him again” “Because I couldn’t save him” Is all about Sousuke, which, as Tsukasa explained, “Sousuke doesn’t exist anywhere in this world anymore”

Kou only starts to realize what he has been doing and face reality in picture perfect, when Mitsuba shows him Sousuke’s life on the windows, calling Kou out for only focusing on his dead friend, ignoring Mitsuba, and using him for his own selfish reasons.

Kou is reminded of his trauma when Mitsuba breaks the window with Sousuke’s memories in it, but it does serve as an efficient wake up call.

Kou actually looks at Mitsuba here. He is dazed and shocked but he pays attention to what Mitsuba is saying: he is able to sees him as his own person.

Mitsuba is confident no one cares about him, so after venting, completely breaking this world's facade, he sucks up his tears and goes back to his human form, offering Kou his dreams.

This time Sousuke’s image isn’t overwhelming. Kou doesn’t want to believe in this fake world now that he can see through it: Now that he can see Mitsuba.

He understands this is his own wish, not Mitsuba’s.

He can see that this lie is hurting Mitsuba.

Kou understands that there is truth to Mitsuba’s words. During all the fun times they spent together, he had been picturing Sousuke by his side, he wanted to have Sousuke back so badly that he never considered Mitsuba’s feelings, or how his wish to replace him would be hurtful.

Kou is a selfish person full of genuine kindness: He still wishes Mitsuba was Sousuke and he feels guilt for ignoring Mitsuba.

“You can’t find happiness in a fake world” is a message to both Mitsuba and himself. Once Kou snaps out of his dream, he realizes it would only lead to ruin and tries to drag Mitsuba out of his own delusions, and while he has some points, he doesn’t understand that promising a better reality, giving him hope, is cruel.

Kou genuinely wants to understand Mitsuba, so he hears him out, and pays full attention to his distress.

There is still the solid weight of his failure with Sousuke in Mitsuba’s very essence, but despite them looking the same and being very tied together, Kou is determined to focus on Mitsuba, he doesn’t want to do the same mistake again.

I won’t go in depth on Kou’s lack of care about his own life in this analysis, but I think it is worth noticing this offer was for Mitsuba, not Sousuke, and Mitsuba could see that.

Mitsuba doesn't believe Kou can make him human, but he understands that he is serious, and that Kou will try.

He gets the feeling that maybe, hopefully, Kou cares about him too, not just Sousuke, so it freaks him out that his possible friend throws himself out of the fucking building.

The last thing Kou wants is to hurt him, so he apologizes for being reckless and trying to sort out his own feelings without considering how Mitsuba would feel.

Despite this determination to be closer to Mitsuba, he subconsciously puts a distance between himself and the supernatural. He accidentally keeps ignoring him.

Remember this:

It’s about Kou’s wish, but it shows one of Mitsuba's own wishes, one weaker than his burning desire to be human, but no less real: The wish for friends.

Friends are one of the reasons he went along with faking to be Sousuke, friends are one of the many reasons he wants to be human in the first place.

But unfortunately, this is a wish he shares with Sousuke, so Kou blocked it out, not wanting to overlap the two, even if wanting to be friends is a part of Mitsuba too.

It’s complicated.

Being friends meant so much for Sousuke, and Kou doesn’t want to be reminded of him.

Kou understands seeing Mitsuba as Sousuke is an insecurity of Mitsuba and truly believes that the supernatural deserves better, he should be his own person instead of a shadow of Sousuke. Kou recognizes this difficulty separating the two is his issue, not Mitsuba's, so he is determined to make sure it doesn't become a problem again.

This need to separate the two makes it so he can’t see Mitsuba as a friend, or if he does, he can’t voice it. He has never called Mitsuba a friend unless he was thinking of Sousuke or mistaking him for Sousuke, whose friendship he treasures. Even when Mitsuba had expressed he want Kou to stay in this world as his friend, the wish didn't register, and Kou focused instead on the far less achievable, but completely detached from Sousuke, dream of turning him into a human.

Mitsuba’s dream is important to Kou, and Mitsuba noticed that, since his vent was a moment were he had Kou full attention on him instead of Sousuke, so Mitsuba eventually used his dream to distract Kou from Nene’s lifespan and their dilemma in Mei’s world.

Unfortunately, this is, at its core, just a distraction: Mitsuba may believe in Kou’s determination, but he doesn’t believe Kou has the power to grant his wish, he isn’t expecting Kou to find a solution, and he never pressures Kou about it after, he only said this because he doesn’t like to see Kou in distress, it makes him uncomfortable, and so he needs him to snap out of it.

Mitsuba has no idea how huge this is for Kou, how important it feels, cause Kou feels as if no one had ever expected anything from him before.

Even when Hanako expected him to save Nene, Kou had no idea so much trust was put on him, because Hanako only told him this:

And Kou was frozen in time, unable to hear a thing, when Hanako added this:

So in Kou’s point of view, Mitsuba is the only one that expects something from him, the only one that depends on him. (which is diferent from people depending on his role: like his siblings needing a housekeeper)

Kou talks big but in the end, he is just an overwhelmed 14 year old: while he is determined to make Mitsuba’s dream come true and fully separate him from Sousuke, he has no way to help him, and it is hard for him to not see Mitsuba as Sousuke. It’s incredibly hard.

It may have been presented in a comedic manner, but we know this haunts him all the way to his dreams.

Add in all the romantic undertones of his interactions with both Mitsuba and Sousuke, and Kou really has a big crisis.

He only fully comes to terms that Sousuke is gone when he visits his mom and sees first hand the impact of his death.

He processed and mourned Sousuke's death, he can truly separate them now, but things are still far from simple.

What exactly is his relationship with Mitsuba? It isn’t as easy to understand as his relationship with Sousuke.

Let’s see how his wishes manifest to illustrate it. This is his wish with Sousuke:

It's the wish to have been a good friend to Sousuke while he was alive. Depending on where you read, the translations may be ‘you were my friend’ or you ‘are my friend’ but regardless, it has Sousuke wearing his death clothes and thanking Kou, which shows that Kou has moved on. He has accepted his death, no longer wishing for Sousuke to come back to life.

His wish with Mitsuba may start simple enough: Kou wants to be missed, to be wanted.

But grows out of control very quickly.

It’s strange. Dangerous.

It’s important that when the Fake shows up in the red house he is a supernatural, not a human like Mitsuba wishes to be. The fake also wants Kou to fulfill his promise from picture perfect and die so they can be together, which is something Mitsuba rejected, angry with Kou for his reckless behavior.

This wish to stay by his side forever is purely Kou, though it's not as simple as Kou wanting to die: Keep in mind that many of the house wishes are merely things Kou subconsciously wants because it would give him an easy answer to a dilemma he is being troubled by: Like when the house materialized an evil Hanako telling him to “exorcise me before I kill everyone” because all his problems would have been easier to solve if the world was more black and white.

If dying, ending it all, really was a deep wish of his the house would have shown him an easy way to die: For better or worst, the house is very straight to the point with its temptations, when Kou wished for a legendary weapon that would ‘save senpai in a flash’ the house gave him exactly what he asked for, when he got hungry it showed him food, so if he seeked death itself, even if subconsciously, the house would offer him a noose or a drop as high as a school building, not something so tied to the idea of being wanted, to Mitsuba trusting and believing in Kou.

Kou has very little self-worth and sees his own life as a disposable tool for others, but I do not believe being willing to die and wanting to die are the same. He mostly wants an answer about what to do with Mitsuba, he wants to be the one with the solution to his problems more than he wants to make Mitsuba human, and the only solution he can come up with is to become a supernatural, so the red house gave him exactly what he wants: a solution of his own making.

Kou is very self-centered, the Fake may be twisted, but Kou had always accidentally distorted his relationship with Mitsuba, the unease he felt facing the fake is likely because it isn’t what he expected to see, but it isn’t alien either, it’s similar to things Kou has thought before:

Now, Kou doesn’t want Mitsuba to be helpless, to consume his life, he have no malicious intentions whatsoever, but he does want to be needed. Kou is desperate to be needed.

He feels like he is never seen as reliable: He had bonding moments with Nene on many occasions but she has Hanako, whose actions are morally questionable at times but he does get results, unlike Kou. Teru loves him but kept him in the dark about the exorcist world for his whole life, Tiara loves him but Kou seems to be under the impression her favorite bro is clearly Teru, and anyone else wouldn’t pick him as their first choice.

In contrast, Mitsuba is very attached to him, Mitsuba has a wish that he had asked Kou to grant him, and Kou had attached himself to Mitsuba just as much as he has grown attached to the idea that Mitsuba needs him.

Kou’s wish to be with Mitsuba and his deep wish to be needed are interconnected, Kou wants so so much to help him, to not be a disappointment again, that he became obsessed. Ironically, while Kou wants to be trusted, he doesn’t trust himself, and this determination to grant his wish blinds Kou from bonding and granting Mitsuba's wish for friends. Kou does have good intentions but he is doing what he wants, he is not paying attention to Mitsuba.

Kou doesn’t want Mitsuba to worry, Kou wants to help, and he can’t see his lack of self preservation hit Mitsuba too. I personally think Kou is aware his selflessness is inherently selfish but he hates that part of himself, because he rejected all his wishes in the red house but was able to admit to himself later they are his wishes.

He seem to acknowladge this but still reject it, cause he keeps doing the same mistakes: He may have apologized for jumping in picture perfect but he keeps missing Mitsuba’s intentions.

He is at his most selfish with Mitsuba and yet, I have no doubts he genuinely cares about him.

When he does see Mitsuba again, he is happy he is ‘good’ and he has both a heavy romantic energy and a noticeable distance. In hindsight, I’m not surprised he called him an acquaintance.

Kou likes him but he isn’t sure if is because of Mitsuba or because Mitsuba reminds him of Sousuke, so Kou had put a mental block on the idea of them being friends. Mitsuba very existence was born out of his failure with Sousuke, and have a big tie with Kou’s self worth. Any romantic feelings he has are being suppressed, and yet they do have a connection outside Sousuke. Kou is so focused on not disappointing Mitsuba he sabotages a lot of chances of connecting with him.

So what are they? It’s not as simple as ‘not quite friends and not quite lovers’, they are deeply affected by each other but know so little of the other they are basically strangers. They put their wishes on each other (”I want friends” “I want to be needed”) and yet misread what they are expected to give. They want connection and are afraid of not being as important to the other as the other is for them: They are a loving and tragic mess.

I am not surprised Kou had a breakdown when Mitsuba told him to exorcise him.

At this point, Kou is able to see Mitsuba as his own person/monster, so I feel like the request to be exorcised doesn’t make him remember Sousuke’s death, but it does bring back Severance trauma: We haven’t seen a Sousuke flashback in ages, but we got plenty of little panels of Mitsuba in the severance from Kou’s pov.

Outside the distress of Mitsuba wanting to die after Kou just got him back, it’s important that Kou focuses on how he needs to eat to survive after the severance, and instead of being disgusted as Mitsuba expected, Kou takes it as a personal attack, as a declaration Mitsuba also has Tsukasa to rely on.

Kou doesn’t care that Mitsuba is a monster, it was one of the main things he used to differentiate him from Sousuke, is old news, but he does care that Mitsuba still wants to be human but have gave up on ever being one. By doing so, Mitsuba indirectly admits that he doesn’t believe Kou can grant his wish, which is a promise that Kou had put a lot of his self-worth in, so it feels like Mitsuba doesn’t need Kou.

The only thing Mitsuba seems to need Kou for is to exorcise him.

Kou needs to handle both the realization Mitsuba wants to die and that he doesn’t believe in him, that’s more than enough to break him. Add in all the repressed feeling he have, both of friendship and romance, and dear lord, please help this kid.

These two have so many communication problems I hope they talk in the next chapter.

#this is already such a long post i'll save their romantic undertones and kou relationship with housework for later #tbhk #minamoto kou #mitsuba sousuke #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #I still have so much to talk about it's so wild to do analysis on a main character #cause Kou give me TOO MUCH to work with #this is my longest post yet and I have barely scratched the surface send help #kou minamoto #character analysis #long post #I love kou so much is insane #mitsukou

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simmyfrobby · 10 months

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― from War is Kind ["Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind”], Stephen Crane

Hockey Poetry Post 53/?

(Photo credit: Tony Gutierrez, link, link, Smiley N. Pool, link, Steph Chambers, Jennifer Buchanan, Ashley Potts, Steph Chambers, Steph Chambers, Ashley Potts, Dean Rutz, Stephen Brashear, Matthew J. Lee, link, Bob DeChiara, Maddie Meyer, link, Sam Navarr, Wilfredo Lee, Sam Navarro, John Locher, Patrick Smith, Ellen Schmidt, link, John Locher, link)

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takonxmz · 3 months

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A series of stories about modern exorcists, the ghosts to whom they become tied, and the various vengeances that they may or may not take.

(A modern-with-cultivation AU for MDZS, originally inspired by Beetlejuice and now gone entirely off the rails.)

A takonxmz series of podfics of ghost stories written by @dangerouscommiesubversive

Listen on ao3 here 🔗⤵️

Jiangzai x3: A Story About Death

songxuexiao | total podfic length: 01:25:13

Interior Design

sangcheng | total podfic length: 01:58:51

Gimme Shelter

wangxian | total podfic length: 2:10:28

Writ In Blood

xiyao | total podfic length: 2:08:45

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i just finished the most high production podfic series i have ever done #there are accents i never touched before until this series #if all the fics in this series were just one big fic then this would be considered my longest podfic ever #and there was editing ... so .... much ........ editing !!!!#i didn't realized how much growth and development i'd go through in the process of recording and editing and producing these #some of my more highly produced works are these podfics (maybe after 39 Seconds podfic which had a LOT of foley effect and sfx?)#anyway the last fic of the series hasn't been posted yet so .... for me this is like. the end. for now. the completion of this series.#so i'm a bit emotional ok!!!!!#self promo #tako podfics #mdzs #my art #pentel brush pen #xiyao #songxuexiao #sangcheng #wangxian #lan wangji #lan xichen #a-qing #jiang cheng #colored ink

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amaranthdahlia · 3 months

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rlly rlly late but merry christmas from these two !!!

redraw from 2021 and 2022!

#I POSTED THIS ON CHRISTMAS BUT IF ROGTO TO POST THIS HERE AKDKELFL #AAAA #sorry yall skdkd #my hero academia #bkdk #midoriya izuku #boku no hero academia #crazy how im in this fandom for 2 years now #my longest hfx yet (even if it died for half a year lol)#bnha #mha #bakudeku #ktdk #katsudeku #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #dahlia.art

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exhausted-archivist · 6 months

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Thedas: Not a Middle Ages Fantasy But an Ahistorical, Pre-Industrial, Mega Fauna Fantasy

Part 1: Mega Fauna

The long and the short of it? Thedas is an ahistorical world with magic, two moons, giant fauna - giants, dragons, giant bears, giant arachnids, and has some "ancient" and recent technology that would reach as late as the 1800-1900s in our timeline - such as bunsen burners, smokeless coal, table saw, thresher, heliography, and theodolite. Nothing about Thedas is a 1:1 equivalent for Earth and never has been, we know from the devs that it wasn't the intention either. From a fantasy perspective it is a blend of your typical fantasy stories with adventure, dragons, magic, elves and dwarves, varying mythology, and culture ending events; mixed with a venture into a "what if" ahistorical history.

In the case of Dragon Age, Gaider mentions it was a "what if our own history had magic and elves and dwarves?" and "how might Christianity be different if, instead of Jesus, it had been founded by Joan of Ark?" and subverting tropes of fantasy while still being recognizable: elves being brought low vs aloof and immortal; dwarves bring political schemers vs stouthearted Scotsmen; mages who were feared for good reason.

These were the basic foundations going into Dragon Age, and the spirit of those things is evident through out the series. While there are clear moments of parallels, allegories, and themes of the modern world, our world; I think that, for better or worse, the series has kept to the spirit of those foundations. Keeping things recognizable while exploring the world they've crafted, that grows as the team grows.

Its the spirit of that foundation that really lends to the idea of Thedas being a mega flora and fauna world.

Disclaimer and Considerations:

Take all of this with a grain of salt, whether you take it or leave it. Aside from the actual lore mentioned (with sources next to it) all of this is estimations and based off of known art standards or "canon" as the term is called.

Size is a hard thing to nail down in Dragon Age, the scaling and modeling between the games - main and all additional third party installment - are inconsistent at best largely due to limitations and scope of the game. Such limitations we see reflected in Bull not being 8' and instead is 6'9, the fact that the nightmare demon was scaled down because of scope. Then there are the cinematic scenes, they aren't reliable as they often have models float, sunk into the ground, or given camera angles that force perspectives.

ALT Concept art is a touch more reliable in the idea of the intention but isn't any more hard fact due to the question of if the intention was carried through or not due to tech limitations or design choices.

In consideration of concept art I want to clarify a principal used in art that I will be referencing. Traditionally when drawing characters, artists will use proportional canons. Which is when one uses the height of the character’s head as a unit, to have the proportions of the body match natural ratios. A good write up of this concept is linked here and here.

Content warning for everyone, there will be mentions and/or depictions of the following:

Multi-eyed creatures

Scorpions

Spiders

This post also includes images from the following:

The Missing comic

Dragon Age Absolution

Part 1a: Does Thedas Actually Have Mega Fauna?

Yes, they do. Now the first thought might be the obvious dragons, giants, wyverns, titans, and some magical creatures. But there are some creatures of which we have actual measurable sizes for.

I have the more "concrete" fauna separated into two categories: known sizes and comparable sizes. Known is as stated in lore, if we're given fixed numbers at any point, while comparable sizes are for creatures who we either have vague descriptions or equated to something we know the sizes for.

Comparable sizes are also separated from known sizes as they either have variations, or I am unsure of the lore for them still holds; as with anything dao, game guides, and ttrpg on this blog, these are treated and considered as canon unless clear contradictions are available.

Known Sizes

Giant spiders:

Their scale isn't measured by how high they stand on the ground or by body length but from leg to leg. Or rather that is what you would expect for them to be measured by, but it is hard to say for sure. I run with the leg to leg measurement for the provided size in canon; where they are/can be 12' / 3.65m. [Codex]

Looking at extracted game models (which aren't reliable for in-game models) the giant spider stands at 3' 11.28" / 1.2m and measures 5' 4.2" / 1.63m leg to leg.

Griffons:

Their length is 12' / 3.65m or larger with even larger wingspans. Males can weigh over 1,000 lbs / 453.59kg while females are a little less. [Last Flight ch. 2 p. 31]

For context of how big both of these are length wise, on average: Javan rhinos are 12'5 / 3.8m in length, Indian rhinos are between 10.8’-12.5’ / 3.3-3.8m in length, African forest elephants are between 7.22’-12.13’ / 2.2-3.7m in length, African Bush elephants are 10’-16.5’ / 3-5m in length, thresher sharks can be 10.5’-20’ / 3.2-6.1m long, female great white sharks have an overall length of 15’-21’ / 4.57-6.4 m; males 11’-13’ / 3.35-3.96 m. Most crocodiles exceed that with an average of 13-14' / 3.96-4.26m.

If you're like me and that just is a jumble of words, below are the size comparison to a 6' / 1.83m male figure, the scuba diver is roughly the same length as well. I had to edit the horizontal figures to compare lengths but scale wise they are still 6' / 1.83m. I also spliced together multiple images so they would be easier to see (and tumblr has a 30 image limit).

ALT [Image Sources from left to right, top to bottom: Rhinos: Javan Rhino, Indian Rhino Elephants: African Bush Elephant, African Forest Elephant Crocodiles: American Crocodile, Mugger Crocodile Sharks: Thresher Shark, Great White Shark]

Comparable Sizes

Mabari:

Stated as being as tall and as wide as dwarves*; going off the dwarf heights from Inquisition game models would put them at a range of 4'9-5'3 / 144.78-160.02cm.** This is unclear if they mean from the head or shoulder, which typically you would measure quadrupeds from the shoulder. Something to note however, the mabari extracted models from Inquisition measure at 3' 4.6" / 1.03m at the shoulder but 4' 2" / 1.27m at the head.

ALT

This is also roughly echoed in the concept art, where the shoulder height lines up with the shoulder height of the extracted model from Inquisition, however is closer to the dwarf height range when measuring from the top of the head.

Either way mabari are considered giant breeds when looking at dogs. Regardless of if they are the height of a dwarf 4'9-5'3 / 144.78-160.02cm or the height shown in the extracted model or concept art of 3' 4.6" / 1.03m at the shoulder but 4' 2" / 1.27m at the head. The largest dog in the real world was a great dane at 3' 5.18" / 1.046m.***

*[Dragon Age Tabletop (da ttrpg), Blood in Ferelden] **[Source] ***[Source]

Deepstalkers:

There is a bit of a variant with their sizing scale across all entries. From being able to curl up to be the size of boulders or large rocks.* To The Calling describes them as follows

The “stalagmite” unfolded, revealing a serpentine creature with a long and wormlike neck that ended in a maw full of sharp teeth. Its mottled skin was almost perfectly camouflaged to match the stone around it.

He noticed where the creature’s limbs folded up under its carapace, where it tucked its long neck under its body. Hidden in plain sight, the disguise was almost perfect.

Meanwhile the Missing comic shows them as being much larger than Harding, a dwarf. The ttrpg also describes them as "small reptilian creatures". There also seems to be sizes difference noted between each type of deepstalker: deepstalker, leader, and matriarch.

ALT [Image Sources: BioWare Promo Material, Dragon Age Wiki, and The Missing Comic #1]

Additional measurements include the odd 2' 6.3" / .77m from the extracted model from Inquisition which doesn't line up with the in-game sizing as they're proportionally much larger when next to a dwarf. Then when looking at the concept art scaling from the red dev book shared by Mark Darrah, they stand nearly 6' / 1.83m.

ALT

So there is a stark range of size difference as well as really any consistency when it comes to the bipedal, raptor-like, predators.

*Note the range for what is a large rock and what is a boulder is pretty vague. **This is based on various screenshots as pictured above. Comparing them to Shale, a human character, dwarves, and an elf. *** [World of Thedas (WoT) vol. 1 p. 163, Origins game guide, da ttrpg, The Calling novel, and The Missing Comic]

Dragonlings:

Specifically when they are newly hatched are the size of a deer. At the shoulder they'd be 2'8 - 3' / 81 - 91cm. Their length could be from 3'1 - 7'2 / 95 - 220cm. [Dragonling Codex] *Note the ttrpg does denote that they are the size of a young deer, which would be about 1 1/2 years old. This is distinctly different from a fawn and they are the same size height wise as a mature deer. It is simply a difference in muscle mass.

Here is a helpful comparison of a white tail deer, one of the more common deer:

ALT [Image Source]

Below is concept art from Tom Rhodes that I have cropped for a much clearer view. The shoulder height of the dragonling reaches roughly the same height as deer above.

ALT [Image Source]

Part 1b Sizing from Concept art and Development

Here, I want to look at the concept art of creatures, while acknowledging that they don't always end up on the same scale in game - due to a variety of technical reasons. As we see with the fact that spiders are not 12' / 3.65m in game nor are they close to that.

But with that in mind, we can at least glean the intention if not what might be more reflective of the lore. As we know, not all of da lore is game engine/mechanic friendly and thus there is merit in seeing if we can measure through comparison of in dev work. Especially thanks to the human comparison in some of them.

One piece of such concept art that suggests mega fauna is the design guide for da4 that was teased to us by Mark Darrah in 2016 and in the BioWare: Secrets and Stories From 25 Years of Game Development (B25) p. 274.

ALT

Using this, we can tell what might have been the intended -- again if it is not reflected in game -- size for the animals in Thedas. However, I will note for the sake of clarity that this isn't perfect reference; as some of the scaling seems to be questionable/warping. This is after all, an image of a picture in a book. I would be thrilled to see if we ever get to see a flat image of this.

But what we can see when we clean it up, and line up everything while cross referencing other concept art; the scaling seems to work out something like this with the human figure in the center being the "hero" proportions/ideals that would make his height 6'2 / 1.88m.

ALT

Great Bear

Some of the concept art that we can use for comparisons are pieces such as the concept art for the Great Bear and Quillback (development name dragon bear and vulture hyena):

ALT

Going off the stock hero height for female it is 5'6 - 5'7.5 / 1.67 - 1.71m and for males it is 6' - 6'2 / 1.83 - 1.88m. That would make a great bear roughly 10'11 - 11'2 / 3.34 - 3.42m in this concept art. However in the red book, the scaling suggest it is around 14' / 4.26m. Which is an example of how the book as reference might either be unreliable or the new updated intention for the scaling/design.

Regardless of which numbers you favor, when you look at those scales in contrast to our two largest modern bears:

Kodiak Bear: 3'4 - 5' / 1.02 - 1.52m at the shoulder, 6'5 - 9' / 1.96 - 2.74m in length, and 9' - 10' / 2.75 - 3.05m standing upright

Polar Bear: 3'7 - 5'3 / 1.09 - 1.6 m (male) or 2’8 - 3’11 / .81-1.19 m (female) at the shoulder, 7’10 - 9’10 / 2.4-3 m length, and 8’ - 10’ / 2.5 - 3.05 m standing upright Note: I have edited together the sourced images for clearer scaling.

ALT [Image Sources: Bears: Kodiak Bear, Polar Bear]

Additionally when looking at the tarot cards, which also tend to echo concept art more than the final game we see this massive and dramatic height difference for great bears.

ALT

Another varying size reference we have from concept art is this piece by Tom Rhodes comparing the great bear to the normal bear/brown bear. This is in direct conflict with the scale illustrated in the dev book, though this could simply be due to the stage of development this was created in as it looks to be a draw over of a game model when looking at the great bear.

ALT [Image Source]

Nightmare Demon

The Nightmare demon, or "Blinky" as fans call it, or "Smilely" as Varric calls it. This is however a demon so it's appearance and size can change due to influences outside of its control, I want to acknowledge that. This one was something I wasn't expecting to make a comparison with, as we know that not only was the final version of this demon scaled well as it seems that part of it was cut off in the dev book. But I found this concept art from Heroes of Dragon Age (HoDA) and I believe it roughly matches up with the dev book in terms of scale. It might be scaling larger however, I cannot say with any certainty. And when comparing it to the game model in DAI, this is actually a little smaller in comparison. The extracted game model of the Nightmare demon is 93.47' / 28.49m, while in comparison this concept art implies that it is 54.5' / 16.61m when you measure the silhouette which we can estimate to be 6'2.

ALT [Image Source]

ALT You can see how much they sized down the nightmare demon for HoDA (which is understandable given the constraints of a mobile game), especially when you scale them down to show the actual difference. Which is funny considering the nightmare demon is greatly scaled down from the original concept.

Phoenix

Another piece we have, is concept art for the phoenix. Unlike with the hero figure from before, we are estimating Orisino's height based on the height of elven game models. This would put Orisinao at 5'9 - 6' / 1.75 - 1.83m for an elven male.

ALT [Image Source]

This height reference is echoed and reinforced when we look at the dev book from B25 and Mark Darrah. When you bring the phoenix over to line it up with the hero character in the center, it puts the shoulder a phoenix is roughly 6'2. Implying that, at least for this art, Oresino is within that 5'9-6' / 1.75-1.83m range as his height is lower than the shoulder.

ALT

As you can see the extracted game model is not comparable due to the fact it, like the bears are not at all the same size as their in-game models. They are being scaled up a great deal to what we see in game. The extracted model height for the phoenix is 2' 7.4" / 0.8m, which is much shorter than their in-game counter part that shows it to be around the height of the human/elf character if not a little taller.

Quillback

Shown in the concept art with the great bear, we do have scalable concept art with the quillback and we are able to see that it does line up with the scaling for the dev book. It is also roughly the same size as the extracted game model. It's shoulder height being 4' 10.6" / 1.49m. The quillback also seems to be one of the few creatures where their in game counter part matches up with their model and concept art.

ALT

Part 1 Conclusion

As we can see with all the comparable or confirmed sizing of these creatures in Thedas, most are predators and scavengers, fairly large ones at that. So much so, it would dictate a high oxygen content in the atmosphere, plenty of prey to fuel animals of this size, and plenty of land area to allow for the biodiversity that we see. Even down to the subterranean level as well.

We know that gravity also works differently in Thedas, to a degree it is requires as to allow creatures the size of dragons and griffons fly, and giants roam the surface. But also to allow dwarves ranging from 4'9-5'3 / 144.78-160.02 cm to live 2-4 miles / 3.21-6.43 km below sea level + the distance from the actual surface. To give context, the deepest cave we've explored on earth is the Veryovkia cave at 1.37 miles / 2.12 km deep and the entrance to the cave is 1.41 miles / 2.28 km above sea level. Meaning the deepest cave doesn't even go down to sea level.

But with all that said, I'm only wrapping up here as I'm running out of image allowance for this post. I'll continue this in the next part, and if you've read this far, thank you.

Wanna support this blog? You can check out my ko-fi.

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salteytakesonmanga · 10 months

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This is Sanji’s greatest fear, and why Oda set up this ridiculously contrived scene to begin with.

I’ve often tried to make sense of these two different sides of Sanji - a callous, abrasive, and sarcastic man always ready with an insulting quip, and this bleeding heart martyr who is always quick to sacrifice himself for anyone who crosses his path. I kept thinking there wasn’t anything in his story that I could use to connect these contradictory traits.

But actually the key word is “contradictory.” Sanji’s birth family are literal supervillains who choose cruelty at every opportunity, who deny any form of kindness or compassion even to themselves, and who would sacrifice others for any and no reason. Sanji wants to contradict that so badly that he goes out of his way to do the opposite of anything the Vinsmokes would do or approve of.

And it’s DOESN’T make sense. Sanji is smarter than that and he expresses his disapproval of other people doing the same things he does. He often acts in ways that are extremely inconsistent with the rest of his character. Abuse, especially childhood abuse, creates exactly this type of fracturing and inconsistency in personalities. With the additional context of, “He knows this is stupid and dangerous and unhealthy and WRONG, but he would rather die than turn into his father. He probably doesn’t even realize that this is why he’s doing it,” suddenly it starts to make a lot more sense.

Sanji has his own unique and distinct personality that has nothing to do with anyone who raised him (Zeff or Judge or Sora,) but he’s also built into himself a facet of his personality to directly repudiate everything Judge represents out of fear that he might become Judge. Of course he probably can’t see that this is just another way of letting his abusive parent shape his character…

I don’t imagine Oda planned this. He may have not even fully envisioned Sanji’s backstory at this point. But I do think he’s incredibly observant and understanding of people, especially considering he wasn’t yet 25 years old when this chapter came out. It’s a credit to his writing abilities that even if he DIDN’T plan it like this from the beginning he was able to craft a backstory for Sanji that turned these inconsistencies into a cohesive character.

#one piece #op ch86 #saltey takes on one piece #sanji #ugh #you have no idea how deeply i resent sanji for making me write this much about him #stg this is my longest fucking post yet

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aheathen-conceivably · 12 days

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Ok so I read the post on your thoughts on Gio and the American Dream and I hate to say it … as an immigrant, I understand him.

I also come from a culture where women tend to their male partner's needs and I don't believe he wants to turn Jo into a subservient wife. He fell in love with a lively, free, and wild Jo and loves that aspect of her.

At the end of the day she loves him too so why would she leave? I understand she doesn't like to be dependent of him but where else would she go? There are no parties or glamour, which was her whole thing, anymore. At least the farm offers stability in the economic crisis.

Point is, I understand Gio as an immigrant, but don't understand Jo as a woman.

BABES! We’ve got another one…

(As in me being touched and having no other means to say how much I love y’all takes other than to give them a standing ovation in GIF form).

But you know…there’s a whole lot to break down here, friend, especially about Jo. I think you know what that means! Under the cut we go….

First and foremost, I very much appreciate you saying you understand that aspect of Gio. I did in part write him as a commentary on the immigrant experience in America (filtered through his own personality/character of course), and so to know that is relatable means a lot to me. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to tell y’all his journey is far from over, and you can already see the cracks in his outlook beginning to form. Whenever Jo is depressed he says this quite vividly:

Because you are very, very correct. This isn’t about molding Jo into some subservient housewife, or even eroding those exact qualities that he loves in her. This is about Gio attempting to square what he’s been taught/believes will bring his life happiness and meaning with his own experience and emotions. It’s about the myth of the American dream and the perfect housewife and the very real struggle of those things existing as actual, lived realities.

Because at the root of it, Gio is amalgamating an understanding of his own family unit and what he knows he doesn’t want in this country. He has seen another methods of “making it” in America, and so he thinks if only he can make the “right” choices, he can avoid that, and become the respected and happy man that he wants to be.

Now onto Jo, boy oh boy, Jo….

I think one of the core misunderstandings here is that Jo wants stability. This is kind of the crux built into her desire for control and her never-ending failure to achieve it. She wants to control her surroundings, to make sure nothing and no one can hurt her, but she also wants to feel in a way that is hard to find in a stable, heavily domesticated life. On the flip side, despite whatever imaginary dream Gio has, he’s the same way. They both want a life filled with excitement and new experiences, new people and rushes of emotions. This is one of the ways they differ heavily from Antoine and Zelda.

Now on one level, this is simply the way Josephine is. She’s high energy, fun loving, and insatiable. But on a deeper level, this is tied into her experiences not only as a woman, but as a daughter. She has a brief moment of clarity in that last post where she realizes:

Now I have chosen not to go too in-depth on Josephine’s trauma, but you can see her lay out the course of events here and also her deep hesitation to any of it here. Josephine is still only a teenager in that second post. Her mother not only told her things like that (“this is the weight that prejudice and expectation have placed upon us”) but also “what do you want to be then? Some glorified maid to a man?” (Which, frankly, I can write another Ted Talk about the juxtaposition here, but I think ya'll can pull some threads).

So when you see Josephine’s struggle with control, this is heavily rooted in bodily autonomy. Now all things considered, Josephine has managed to make great strides toward reclaiming this and reasserting not only her sexuality, but also her sense of self in her body. Gio knows this. We see him recognize and respect it quite clearly in that last post. He’s been part of that process for her, and that only adds another element of love, trust, and safety between them.

But on a fundamental level, neither Gio nor Josephine has made the connection between that trauma, her own personality, and why she hates her life now so much:

Here’s the issue right now: Josephine doesn’t feel like she’s living her own life. We have seen how she would like to live in the 20s not just in the parties and glamour, but when she was managing bands. She wants to be fulfilled professionally, through helping people/places she believes in and bettering her own life by bettering theirs. That’s how she gets her joy, and that’s what she would chose to do if given the chance.

And right now, she does not feel like she gets to chose. You’re correct in that part of that is coming from the current economic situation. Again, she sees that herself here. She knows what demons are waiting outside her window, and how easily poverty can make them rearise. That only makes it worse. It doesn’t make the smell of bread (domestic security) any better or more comforting. It makes it bitter, because she didn’t chose it. She was backed into a corner by circumstance (and, as she can sense, by the choices men made for her without telling her), and now she feels like she can’t say no. That’s her ultimate trigger.

Now whether or not that loss of control is simply perceived, or should be offset by how “lucky” she is to be in a stable position in such precarious economic times, we might all have different options on. Even more, I’m sure each of us would answer differently for ourselves in that situation. I know I would. But for Josephine? Not only is this a life she will never find joy in, because even without her trauma, she is an ambitious, restless, and outgoing person with different goals for herself; but that added memory and pain makes her reaction to it all the more volatile.

Perhaps most importantly, Jo feels as though her life is being controlled again, whether by Gio, the reality of the world outside her window, or by her own guilt/love that makes her feel beholden to the people around her (just like it did to her mother). Because you’re right, she does love him. She wouldn’t leave because she doesn’t. If she leaves now, it would leave because she panicked, because she feels like she’s lost all the autonomy she worked so hard to regain and she’ll never feel the fulfillment she felt when she was successfully independent ever again. That’s the element I hope we can understand, even if it’s not what we would do.

#okay THAT might be my longest Ted Talk yet 🤣#which if you’re actually reading you really deserve a tshirt let’s be real #and I’m so very sorry they’re so long #I try and infuse them into all the posts but like to condense it and write it all out clearly can be so helpful sometimes #for me too let’s be real #and like I want them to have a real solid base before we move into ~the great unknown~#anywho there’s a number of threads I could have touched on here that I didn’t for ~time~#but if you’d like to go through the #Josephine Duplanchier extra #tag there’s some good stuff there too 😉#Giorgio Mistretta extra #also #*ahem*#does it REALLY offer stability in the economic crisis?#y’all remembering what I’m remembering? 😬#ain’t a true American dream without a healthy serving of debt aint it

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snakebites-and-ink · 4 months

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Whumpuary #3: Used as bait / Stumbling / "This is gonna hurt" + #4: "Help me" / Lightheaded / Kneeling

CW: Chase, overexertion, failed escape, manhandling

Whumpee ran through the underbrush, desperately pushing their aching and weakened body to keep going. They couldn’t rest yet.

Whumper was on their tail. Whumpee had a head start, but they weren’t sure how big it was. All they knew was that this was their chance to get away, and they weren’t likely to get another one anytime soon.

Underbrush hit at Whumpee’s legs as they dashed through it. They paid no heed to the sting and pushed on. They panted for breath, their blood pounding in their ears as their feet pounded on the ground. Still they ran. There would be no respite until they were out of Whumper’s reach.

They tripped on a half-exposed root and nearly lost their footing. They managed to keep from falling, and regained their pace.

Whumpee kept running. After a while, they realized they were flagging and sped up again. They couldn’t afford to slow down. Whumper knew this area; they lived in it. Staying ahead was Whumpee’s only advantage.

It didn’t take long before their stride became less steady. They were pushing themself too hard. They grimaced and kept going anyway; they didn’t have a choice.

Their lungs burned and their legs became unstable as they battled with fatigue. Whumpee stumbled, then scraped their hand as they caught themself. It was so tempting to just stay there and rest a moment, but they didn’t have the time. They pushed off of a tree and forced themself onward.

Not long after, they were stumbling again. They lost their footing, well and truly this time, and fell to the ground. They painstakingly stood back up with a groan. As they leaned against a tree, bracing themself to keep going, they heard a sound behind them that definitely wasn’t from the local wildlife.

“Whumpee.”

No. Dread washed through them. They already knew whose voice it was, but Whumpee still turned to look as Whumper emerged from the trees. They were breathing hard, too, but not as hard as Whumpee. It made sense: Whumper was healthier and knew the terrain. The logic didn’t make it any less disheartening, though.

The chase was over. Whumpee was in no condition to get away from Whumper now that they’d caught up. Whumpee looked out into the trees, for a moment entertaining the idea of running anyways, before slumping in defeat. Their knees hit the dirt almost before they knew what they were doing.

The show of submission might earn them a modicum of lenience. Not much, but Whumpee was willing to take any chance to make their impending situation slightly less awful.

Whumper fixed them with a stony glare, looking very displeased. Whumpee cringed and broke eye contact.

“You are in a whole lot of trouble.” Whumper walked over to where Whumpee was kneeling and roughly pulled them to their feet. Whumper held Whumpee in a vice-like grip, fingers digging into them.

Whumpee didn’t say anything back. They knew it would be pointless to ask for mercy.

Whumper kept Whumpee in a painful hold all the way back to Whumper’s house. Back to everything Whumpee had hoped to escape from. Hot tears welled in their eyes as freedom slipped further out of reach.

#Took an extra day on this one because it wasn't one of the ones I'd pre-written and it ended up being my longest whumpuary piece yet #This is not the end of these characters' story #whumpuary2024 #whumpuaryno3 #whumpuaryno4 #stumbling #kneeling #chase #overexertion #failed escape #recapture #I'm kind of unsure where to draw the line between failed escape and recapture so I'm just tagging both to be safe #manhandling #threats #original fic #whump #whump writing #my posts #my writing

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