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caravelstan · 2 years

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all too well | j.m. kiszka

authors note: merry late christmas! i’ve been working on this ever since red (taylor’s version) dropped and i’m super proud of it (for the most part). this is the longest piece of writing i’ve wrote in a long time. i’m sorry for any errors, i don’t have an editor, but i really do hope you enjoy :( i’m thinking of doing songs from red (taylor’s version) for the rest of the band but have yet to decide on that. anyways! enjoy and always remember if you have any requests my ask is always open and feedback is greatly appreciated! love u <3

pairing: josh kiszka x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of underage drinking, mentions of sexual acts (alluding to sleeping together, literally just a mention), angst (sorry lol)

word count: 13.9k

summary: fragments of the rise and fall of josh and reader’s relationship throughout high school, and the time they meet again.

We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place

Her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned back against the headrest, letting the cool air wash over her skin. It was a particularly warm day for Autumn in Michigan, and when Josh had asked her to go out on a drive she couldn't say no to her best friend. Her eyes open again moments later as she watches the trees pass by them and she lets her hand stray out the window, the air catching between her fingers.

Their drives never consisted of an actual destination, whoever was behind the wheel that day had free reign on where they were going. Sometimes it’d lead them nowhere and other times it’d take them to the most beautiful spots Frankmuth had to offer.

Her eyes drift towards Josh and she has to stop herself from smiling, watching as he sings along to If Not for You by George Harrison. He sneaks a glance at her, still singing and holds her gaze for a moment. Her breath hitches in her throat and she stills, even after Josh returns to watching the road.

Whether it be the moment or what, she finds herself reaching out to twirl one of her fingers around one of his curls, mesmerized. She rests her hand on the back of his neck and he comes to a stop, looking over at her. His eyes hold a certain softness, much too soft for it to be friendly - though, she supposes their relationship had always teetered between friends to something more. Whatever it was it had her heart racing and warmth spreading across her chest.

"What?" Josh asks, absentmindedly leaning into her touch.

"You're beautiful." She says softly.

"Shut up." He rolls his eyes playfully before focusing back on the road, continuing on their drive.

“You know I’m right!”

His glances over at her again and she doesn’t miss the way his gaze flickers down her face before finding her eyes once again, lips twitching into a small smile. She blushes under his gaze but doesn’t dare look away. She couldn’t even if she wanted to - Josh was mesmerizing.

“Whatever you say, mama.”

She doesn’t respond, instead lets her fingers toy with the few stray curls at the base of his neck, lips tugging into a wide smile. She loved moments like this, when it was just her and Josh. Of course she loved spending time with the rest of the Kiszka’s, but her time with Josh was always special to her.

He was special to her. Though, she thinks she’ll keep that to herself.

“If not for you, my sky would fall. Rain would gather, too,” Josh softly sings, sneaking another glance at her. “Without your love I’d be nowhere at all. I’d be lost, if not for you.”

Their eyes meet and for a split second, they’re the only two people in the world.

...

'Cause there we are again on that little town street

You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me

Her head spun, even after shutting her eyes, and leaned her head against the window. She had drank a bit too much tonight. Even though she was sobering up, especially with the cold December air pressing into her skin like ice, she knew she was going to be paying for it in the morning. She mentally cursed Jake Kiszka and the many shots he had given her that night.

She groans.

"Remind me to never drink again." She says, a hint of a whine in her voice. Josh laughs from beside her, hands gripping the steering wheel.

"I'm surprised you even agreed to come tonight," He says gently. "You barely come to parties with us."

She gives a tiny shrug, squeezing her eyes shut as another dizzy spell comes. "It's our senior year. I wanted to make memories with you and Jake that weren't just at our houses."

"We have plenty of memories that aren't just at our houses."

"I know, but this is different!" She huffs, finally opening her eyes. She tries to glance at Josh without moving too much, eyes straining. "I don't wanna be remembered as the lame friend who didn't do anything cool with you guys. Plus, it sounded like it'd be fun. At the time."

Josh snorts. "At the time?"

"Yes. I am very much regretting it now." She presses her head back against the cool glass, eyes fluttering shut.

"By the way, I hope you know we don't think you're lame - you never were. You just don't like parties," He shrugs, "and that's okay. We still love you."

The dizzy spell had ended and her head no longer spun, though the reminisce of a headache lingered. She barely moves when she feels Josh place a free hand on her leg, gently squeezing her knee. She's grateful that he feels that way - and hopes Jake feels the same too, even though she hates him right now - but her head is pounding too much at the moment to even come up with a proper reply.

"Can I please stay with you tonight? I really don't want to try and sneak past mom."

"Of course, mama. Anything you want." His voice was gentle again and he continued to drive, keeping his hand on her knee.

They rode in silence after that, the only sound was the radio playing quietly in the background - some song that she knew Josh would hate. She feels his thumb brush against the fabric of her jeans and she smiles to herself.

"I’m so lucky to have you."

She still regrets drinking so much and will be giving Jake a mouthful whenever he comes home in the morning, but she's also grateful for Josh at this very moment. She knew that no matter what, the boy would be there to take care of her.

She feels the car come to a stop and she keeps herself leaned against the window. It feels like they sit there for a while, and she thinks they do, and she opens her eyes to peek over at the boy. He's removed his hands from her leg, both of them now gripping the steering wheel again but his eyes are on her. She can barely see it, with how dark it was inside the car, but she can make out the faint flush to his cheeks. She remembers him having a few beers that night, but not enough that would actually make him drunk. She knows Josh isn't dumb enough to drive under the influence, especially with her in the car.

She twists her body to where her back is leaning against the door, eyes never leaving his, "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Josh laughs, almost surprised. He looks off to the side and clenches his jaw. "Maybe I will."

Her headache has subsided for the most part, maybe due to the car no longer moving, but that's the last thing on her mind right now. She looks around and notices they're still stopped at the same stop sign, the only car on the road currently. Which would be creepy, she thinks, if she hadn't known her surroundings. One more stop sign and they'd be turning on Josh's road.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"I don't think you want to know what I'm thinking."

Her brows furrow. "I was just saying it to say it, but now I'm curious. What are you thinking?"

Josh glances at her and the look in his eyes causes her breath to hitch. There was so much inside of them. The same softness he always gave her, but mixed with want, and maybe even a bit of guilt. Her heart twists beneath her chest as she watches him put the car in park, unbuckle himself from his seat, and leans over the console towards her. She finds herself leaning towards him and he places a hand on her face, cupping her chin.

"I'm thinking that I really want to kiss you, and have wanted to since I was like 12." He breathes out a laugh. "Please tell me that I can."

All she can do is stare back at him, mouth agape. What the fuck? Did Josh just ask if he could kiss her? She would have never thought that would happen in a million years. Of course their relationship has always been just a little bit more than just friends, and maybe there was a part of her that always wished for him to kiss her, but she pushed it to the back of her mind. Wishful thinking, she thought.

He searches her eyes, waiting for some kind of response, and she knows he won't kiss her or pull away until she tells him so. Her eyes drop to his lips and she subconsciously licks at her own, gazing back up at him. His thumb brushes against her cheek and she leans into the touch before slowly nodding her head.

His mouth twitches into a small smile before he closes the distance between them, pressing his lips against her own softly. She doesn't move at first, scared that this was all a dream that she'll be waking up from soon, but that's all thrown away when she feels his lips move against hers. Her hands find their way to his face, cupping his cheeks. She’s never really thought too much on what it would be like to kiss Josh, never thinking she’d ever get the chance, and this goes far beyond her imagination. He pulls away all too soon and she whines when they part. Josh lets out a breathless laugh, resting his forehead against hers and letting his eyes fall shut.

"Why'd you stop?"

"I know if I didn't stop now, we wouldn't get home, and both of our ass's would be in trouble." He says, but presses another chaste kiss to her lips before pulling away fully. She leans back against the door and stares at him, bringing a hand up to brush at her lips.

Josh had kissed her.

She’s in a daze on the remainder of their drive and doesn’t come to until Josh is already out of the car and coming to her side, opening the door for her. She stares up at him for a moment and he smiles, reaching a hand out for her to grab. Her cheeks flush when she wraps her fingers around his and hauls herself out of the car, letting him guide her towards the house. They’re quiet as the navigate through the house, partly so they don’t wake Josh’s parents, Ronnie, or Sam, and partly because she’s not sure what to say. What is there to say?

They sneak into Josh’s room and he shuts the door behind him slowly. She stands in the middle of his room and gazes around, arms crossed over her chest.

“Here.” Josh finally speaks up and she glances over at him, seeing him holding one of his old school shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. She smiles sheepishly as she reaches out for it. “I’ll change in the bathroom, okay?”

She nods and watches him leave his room, shutting the door behind him. With a deep breath, she’s quick to change out of her clothes and into the ones Josh had given her and then crawls into his bed, curling up under the blankets. Her headache has returned, probably with new meaning. There’s a knock at the door and she shuts her eyes, feigning sleep. Call her childish but she’s scared to face Josh right now. She doesn’t know what to think, what to even making out of the situation. Her and Josh had kissed, and they both seemed to really fucking like it.

The bed dips behind her and she hears Josh shuffling with the covers, getting comfortable. He stills and lays there for a second and she thinks they’ll leave it - at least hopes that they will - but then he shifts again, probably onto his side, and she hears him sigh.

“I know you’re awake.” Josh says from behind her, voice barely above a whisper. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t think we need to do anything.” She says quietly, eyes still shut.

“Y/N.”

She flips onto her back and opens her eyes, looking up at Josh. He’s looking down at her and she brings the covers up to her chin, trying to hide underneath them. His gaze softens and he reaches down to run his fingers through her hair and she can’t help but lean into the touch, eyes fluttering shut.

“If we talk about it then it becomes real, and it still feels like a dream.” She whispers, opening her eyes to stare up at him. “And I really don’t want to wake up from it.”

“It’s not a dream,” He says softly. “This is very much real life.”

“Why did you kiss me?” She blurts out. Josh stills for a moment before carding his fingers through her hair again, shoulders going up in a small shrug.

“Because I wanted to.”

“That’s it?” She says flatly, lips pressing into a line. Not quite the answer she was expecting… or wanting for that matter.

There was a part of her wishing that maybe, just maybe, these stupid feelings she’s had pent up for this boy weren’t one-sided and that maybe, just maybe, he felt something more than just wanting to kiss her.

“Well,” He starts, looking off to the side, “and because I’ve also had this crush on you since we were like.. 12.”

Oh. Her cheeks flush with color as she curls in on the blanket wrapped around her. “Really?”

“Really.” He looks down at her again, his own cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, and a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re my favorite person. I feel.. safe when I’m with you. It feels right, like it makes sense. We make sense.”

“Okay, now I’m really hoping this isn’t a dream.”

Josh laughs at that, full and loud, and she smiles up at him. It’s such a beautiful sound. One of her favorites, she’d listen to it all day if she could. She reaches up for his hand that was messing with her hair, pulling it away from her and bringing it down to lay in between them.

“I promise it’s not a dream.”

“Good,” She hums quietly, watching her fingers trace random patterns into the palm of his hand.

“Does this mean that you, um,” Josh clears his throat and she looks up at him, arching her brow. His cheeks are flushed again and he averts his gaze, “does this mean that you like me too?”

She lays there for a moment, eyes moving back to their hands that lay between them before looking back up at Josh. She pushes herself up and closer to Josh, reaching out to place a hand on his cheek and brings his head down to hers, pressing their lips together in a kiss.

She pulls back a second later, but not too far, eyes locking on Josh’s as a smile spreads across her lips. “You've always been my favorite person.”

The smile Josh gives her fills her entire body with pure joy she can’t help but lean forward to connect their lips again. No words were spoken between the two - nothing was needed to be said at this point. Soft kisses and soft touches filled the rest of their night up until she pulled away to curl up against his chest, her eyelids becoming too heavy to even keep open. Josh’s arms wrapped around her body to pull her close, their legs tangling together.

This isn’t the first time they’ve cuddled, let alone slept in the same bed together, but this is the first time it’s had different meaning. The last thought she has is Josh’s lips against hers, and she finally drifts off with a sleepy smile.

...

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

It’s been two months since her and Josh made it official. Not much had really changed between them, but it was still the best two months of her life. Sneaking Josh in from the back door without her mother knowing and the late night kisses they shared in her bedroom, being able to hold his hand whenever she pleased, the secret kisses they shared in the back seat of his car, countless nights of sneaking in and out of the Kiszka’s house without anyone knowing... The essence of it all thrilled her.

No one knew about them yet. It had been Josh’s idea to keep it a secret for awhile, letting them get used to being a couple and to have it actually be theirs until his family found out. Don’t get her wrong, she loves the Kiszka’s, but she knows the second they find out all hell will break loose and they’ll never get a second alone ever again.

For now, she gets to keep Josh for herself. And maybe that’s selfish, but she can’t think of anything else she wants more in this world.

“Can you get us some more beer?” Jake asks from his spot on the floor, tossing his head against the couch go stare up at her. She scrunches her face up.

“Why can’t you get it?”

“Because I don’t wanna get up. And you love me.”

“And what if I don’t wanna get up either? Also, I actually hate you.”

“Yeah, Y/N, can you get more beer?” Sam cuts in from the other end of the couch, already finishing off his third beer of the night.

She glares at him, “Again, why do I have to do it when you both of perfectly capable of getting your own? You weren’t even supposed to be drinking tonight, Samuel.”

Sam can only glare in response before turning his attention back to the movie.

“Because they’re men.” Ronnie says from her side, body shaking from her own giggles. She can’t help but laugh herself. “They can’t do anything by themselves.”

“Hey! I take offense to that.” Josh speaks up from the chair in the corner, glaring playfully at the two girls. Ronnie rolls her eyes.

“Good.”

“And,” Josh continues, “I’m capable of helping myself, thank you very much.” He stands up from his seat and stretches his arms out.

She watches as his shirt rides up just a bit, showing just a bit of skin and she has to bite down on her lip to stop the smile from growing. She flickers her gaze up and finds Josh already staring at her, a knowing smirk plastered on his face. She checks to make sure the others didn’t notice, and they didn’t, all too focused on the movie playing in front of them to even care about the current stare down going on between her and Josh. He walks over to where she’s seated and places his hand out for her to take, which she does gladly.

“Up you go, mama.” He says as he’s helping her up to her feet, hand lingering in hers for a second longer than needed. “We’ll be back.”

“Thought you were capable of helping yourself?” Ronnie teases, but she barely even gives them a glance.

“I’m just going to supervise,” She says over her shoulder while Josh leads her towards the stairs. “He’s still a poor, helpless man.”

Ronnie laughs loudly at that and she can’t help but grin before turning her focus back on Josh, her grin turning into a smirk.

"Now why am I actually coming with you, Joshua?" She teases once they’re out of ear shot, her hand finding his once again. Her fingers wrap around his and squeezes gently before lacing them together.

"Like you said, I'm a helpless man," He turns his head to shoot her a grin, "I need all the help I can get."

She throws her head back with laughter. He pushes the basement door open that leads them into the kitchen, hands untangling from hers to make his way across the kitchen.

"Grab the beers and I'll make some popcorn?"

"Sure."

She watches as Josh opens the cabinet above the microwave, reaching up to grab a packet of popcorn and her eyes drift down to where his shirt has started to ride up again. Clearing her throat she turns to the fridge and opens it, glancing inside to look for the beers Jake had snuck in here for the night. She pulled out the last four that were stuffed in the back, turning around to carefully place the bottles on the counter. She lets out a yelp instead and almost drops them when she finds Josh behind her, an amused grin on his lips.

"What the hell are you doing, Kiszka?" She bites out, holding the bottles to her chest. He laughs.

"The light from the refrigerator made you look really pretty and I wanted to tell you that," He starts, his grin only growing. "Then I decided scaring you would be better."

She moves around him to place the bottles on the counter before turning around to punch playfully at his arm, shooting him a glare. "You're an asshole."

"But you love me."

"Not sure where you got that from." She grumbles, turning to shut the refrigerator doors.

Josh's arms circle around her waist and he spins her around to face him instead. She looks up to find him beaming at her and her heart skips a beat at the sight. He maneuvers their arms around, having one hand rest against her hip and hers rest against his shoulder, while lacing their free hands together.

“Dance with me.”

She stares at him quizzically. “There’s literally nothing playing.”

“You don’t know what’s going on inside this beautiful head of mine, baby.”

She stifles her laughter while Josh spins them around the kitchen, humming along to whatever song is playing in his head. After a few moments his hand drops from hers to wrap both arms around her waist and hers around his neck, both of them leaning together to press their foreheads against each other. His eyes lock on hers and for a split second, it feels like the first time again, and she can't help but lean in, pressing her lips against his in a gentle kiss.

"I love you," She mumbles when she pulls back, head resting against his shoulder as he sways them from side to side.

"And I love you." Josh hums, lips brushing against her forehead.

They pull apart a few moments later and both quietly go back to their prior tasks - her grabbing the remaining beers and shutting the fridge and Josh emptying the bag of popcorn into a bowl. He turns to look at her again, head tilting towards the basement door.

"Ready to go back?"

She nods in agreement, even though she’d much rather stay here and dance away with Josh, and the two of them make their way back down to the basement, finding Ronnie, Sam, and Jake still in their same spots.

"We come bearing gifts!" Josh sports a fake British accent that causes her to laugh before she's handing a beer to both Jake and Sam, squinting at the younger boy.

"This is your last one of the night."

"You're not my mom." Sam grumbles out as he snatches the bottle from her, glaring at her playfully.

"No, she's not but I'm your brother and I say you're cut off after that one, dude. You were only supposed to have one anyways." Jake says as he reaches for his own, nodding up at her in thanks, and misses Sam giving him the finger behind his back. "What took you guys so long? You were gone for like 10 minutes."

She can't stop her cheeks from flushing and turns to place the remaining two bottles down on the end table, shoulders going up in a nonchalant shrug. "Josh was being a goof and kept joking around. Lost track of time."

She climbs back onto the couch beside Ronnie, leaning her body back into hers and getting back into her previous (and very comfortable) position, and she feels Jake's eyes still on her. He doesn't say anything, just raises a brow before glancing over at Josh who's already back in his chair, popcorn placed in his lap and eyes on the screen. Jake gives her another look and she has to act as if she’s not freaking out on the inside, heart beating rapidly beneath her chest, and then he's looking back at the screen.

"Whatever." He doesn't sound convinced, but goes with it anyways, and for that she's thankful.

Sneaking around is getting to be a lot harder than she thought it would.

Her eyes find their way back to Josh and he's already looking at her, and he winks before turning his head back towards the TV. She buries her face against Ronnie's shoulder to hide the growing flush to her cheeks and feels the girl shift underneath her, grunting quietly.

"What's your deal?"

"Tired." Her voice is muffled by the others shirt and she gives a yawn for dramatic effect, full on snuggling into Ronnie's side. "Could fall asleep right here, Ron. You're so comfortable."

"You're so weird." Ronnie mumbles, but there's a smile in her voice.

She shifts underneath her again but this time lets her arms wrap around her, getting into a much comfortable position. From how comfortable she is and how at peace she feels in that moment, snuggled up on the couch and surrounded by her favorite people, she finds herself struggling to keep her eyes open and before she knows it, she's asleep - dreaming of her and Josh dancing around the kitchen, and their friends and family dancing right along with them.

...

And maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

It all happened so quickly.

They were curled up on the couch, legs and arms intertwined together as a movie played softly in the background. Josh's parents had went to Detroit for the weekend with some friends which left the Kiszka children on their own for a few days. Jake ran off the second he could to hang out with his current girlfriend, Ronnie went to stay with a friend, and Sam went to Danny's. This left the perfect opportunity for the two of them to spend time together at Josh's house without having to sneak around.

It was a relief, like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders knowing she didn't have to look around before she kissed Josh. She could even cuddle up to him without getting odd stares from the others. It was amazing, and made her wish they'd just come out and tell everyone because she wants nothing more than to do this all the time.

Josh's fingers threaded through her hair as his eyes focused on the screen in front of him and she was so content, eyes fluttering shut every so often. She loved when Josh played with her hair, it was so relaxing and was one of the quickest ways to lull her to sleep.

So it was no surprise that neither of them heard the front door shut and the sound of Jake’s footsteps snapping them back to reality.

"Josh?"

The sound of his voice caused the two of them to jump, eyes widening in shock at the realization of their current position.

"Fuck."

Josh pulls away from her and scrambles down to the other end of the couch. Her heart drops and she can't help but feel like she's been punched in the gut, especially with how quick he pulled away from her - as if touching her had burned him. She glances at him but he refuses to even look at her, eyes trained on Jake finally entering the room. The air is tense almost immediately and she knows Jake can sense something is off, especially with the way he comes to a stop to stare at the two of them on the couch.

"Hey," Josh's voice is tight and he clears his throat before continuing, "What're you doing home?"

"I left my wallet." Jake squints, eyes roaming between her and Josh. "I texted you but I guess you were... preoccupied."

His tone was a bit too accusatory for her liking but she shrugged it off, telling herself that he doesn’t know. He can’t know… right?

She shrinks in her seat under Jake's gaze. It made her skin crawl and she refused to look him in the eyes. His head tilts before he's looking at Josh again, squinting harder.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Must've missed it." Josh doesn't even sound like himself, even when he lets out a nervous chuckle.

Jake's brows quirk up looking anything but humored. He snorts out a breath before making his way towards the stairs, "Yeah, must have."

She watches as Jake bounds up the stairs to his room and moves her gaze back towards Josh who's still refusing to look at her, practically curled up against the arm rest. She's not understanding why Josh is acting like this, even after Jake ventured upstairs. It was weird - and nothing like him.

"What the fuck was that?" She whisper-shouts at him.

He barely even spares a glance her way. "Not now."

She pauses. "Why are you being so weird?"

"I'm not, I just," He sighs, running a hand over his face. "I just freaked out. He almost caught us."

She pauses again, a frown spreading across her lips. "You're acting like Jake finding out is the worst thing that could possibly happen, Josh."

"It is!" His voice raises and they both still, the implications of his words hitting almost immediately. "I mean, it's not - fuck - it's not, but I don't want him finding out this way."

Her frown only deepens. “This way? You don’t want him finding out by us acting like a couple? That makes no sense.”

Josh opens his mouth to respond but slams it shut when he hears Jake coming back down, staring off towards the staircase. He stops at the last step and looks over at them, the same hardening gaze remaining on his features. She swallows and averts her gaze from him, staring at the TV. She'd completely forgotten a movie had been playing. Silence overlaps them as she feels Jake's eyes on her again and with the way her heart is pounding beneath her chest she's sure he hears it.

"Question," Jake speaks up finally, moving his eyes towards Josh.

"What's up?"

"What were you guys doing before I walked in?"

Her eyes widen and she doesn't dare look over at Josh, even though her body is screaming at her to do so. A beat passes them and Josh clears his throat, tilting his head at his brother.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right," Jake says, stretching out the word and brows furrowing. "There's definitely something you're not telling me."

“You’re being weird, dude.” Josh laughs it off.

“No, you’re being weird.” Jake points at him and then at her, lips forming into a frown. “And so are you. There’s something you guys aren’t telling me and I don’t get why.”

She feels Josh’s eyes on her now and she sneaks a glance at him before looking at Jake, opening her mouth to respond. Nothing comes out - she’s not sure what to even say. Instead, she brings her shoulders up into a shrug and presses her lips back into a line.

Jake pauses. “You guys aren’t like dating or something, right? Because you would at least have the decency to tell me that.”

Holy shit. She looks over at Josh with wide eyes and her heart is beating rapidly, watching as the boy is staring at his brother like he’s got two heads. Was it that obvious?

“Dating?” He laughs. “You think I’m dating her? She’s like our sister, man.”

"I don't know!" Jake's arms flail around him, obviously frustrated. "That's the only explanation on why you both are being so fucking weird right now."

She opens her mouth to speak, but Josh beats her to it. "We're being weird because you're being weird. Like... Do you seriously think I'd date her? Are you fucking crazy? I could never - that'd be fucking awkward."

The silence that followed was enough to make her stomach drop. I could never. What was that even supposed to mean? She stares at Josh, lips downturned into a frown but he's only focused on Jake. He shakes his head as he stares at his brother, a laugh slipping past his lips.

"You’re out of your mind if you think I'd date her... out of all people."

Of all people. The way he says it, the sneer in his voice as if dating her was actually the worst possible thing to happen has her eyes burning with tears. Not once did she ever think twice of her and Josh's relationship and his feelings towards her, but the front he has on right now has her questioning everything. She crosses her arms over his chest and drops her gaze to her lap, sinking further into the couch.

All she wanted to do was hide.

"You've always been a terrible fucking liar, Josh."

If Jake didn't know they were dating before, he surely knew now. She sneaks a glance at him and watches his face drop in realization before going back to his stoic expression, lips pressed in a line. He meets her gaze and it softens for a split second, sorrow filling them before they harden, glaring over at Josh. He doesn't say anything else and turns to leave, muttering about how he won't be back tomorrow and to not wait up for him.

The door slams shut behind Jake and the two of them sit in silence, the only sound coming from the television. Her arms are pressed tightly against her chest, fingers digging into her arms to try and stop the tears that are threatening to spill. Surely he didn't mean any of that, right? If he had then why would he even be with her right now?

That still didn't stop the words from stinging.

"I think I'm gonna go home." Her voice shook as she finally spoke up, slowly pushing herself up off the couch. "Obviously you don't want to be seen with me."

"I didn't even say that, Y/N." Josh mumbled, a groan falling from his lips.

"You sure did make it seem like that," She twirls around to stare down at him, lips pressed in a line to stop the trembling. She wipes at her eyes, "You didn’t need to say any of that - all you had to say was No Jake, we’re not dating.”

He frowns. “You know I didn’t mean it.”

“Sure sounded like you did!” Her voice raises for a moment and she takes a deep breath, running her hands over her face. “I just don’t understand why it’s still such a big deal that Jake can’t know we’re together.”

Josh leans forward and rests his elbows against his leg, holding his head in his hands. "I'm not ready."

"Not ready?" A humorless laugh escapes her, arms moving at her sides. "Josh, it's been over four fucking months. How are you not ready yet?"

"You don't get it-"

"Oh, cut the bullshit, Josh.” She’s yelling again, tears burning at her eyes. “I don't understand how you can say you love me - god, you fucking slept with me - and then turn around and say you're not ready to tell fucking Jake. It's doesn't make any fucking sense!"

He stands up quickly and she has to take a step back, watching as he turns to face her. "I'm scared to tell him, okay?"

"Why are you scared, Josh? There's nothing to be scared of!"

“There’s everything to be scared of!” She tenses as Josh’s voice raises, her arms hugging close to her chest. "What happens if we break up? What happens if I hurt you? Y/N, they fucking adore you. They'd never let me live it down if I did anything to you... I'm just. I'm scared."

"This is hurting me!" The tears are falling now but she makes no effort in wiping them away, staring at him with wide eyes. "What you're doing right now hurts! What's the point in us being in a relationship if we can't tell anyone? I can't even tell my mom, Josh."

His face softens. "We'll tell them soon, I promise-"

"No.” She shakes her head. “No. I'm tired of waiting. I want to tell them now."

"Can we please wait until graduation? We'll tell them then."

"Graduation?” She says exasperatedly. “That’s another month away. You said we could tell them after our birthdays, it’s been over a week, and now you want to wait until graduation?”

"Please."

"No. Either we tell them now or..." She pauses, tongue licking across her bottom lip. "Or I'm done. I'm not hiding anymore."

Silence fills them after she utters those words. Josh’s face falls, lips turning into a frown and her stomach drops. She wants to take it back, she does, and her head is telling her to forget it and run into his arms but her heart… her heart is telling her otherwise. She loves him. She loves him so much that it hurts and sometimes she feels like she can’t breathe, the love she has for him overwhelming her. Josh is her best friend and has been since she was a child, but no matter what she feels for him and no matter what they’ve been through, she doesn’t think she can keep being a secret any longer.

It’s not fair, she thinks.

"You don't mean that." Josh says quietly. She notices the redness circling around his eyes and knows that he’s holding back tears, and her lips tremble as a few more of her own fall.

"Oh, the same way you didn't mean to say that you'd never date me? That you're embarrassed to even be with me?"

"I did not fucking say that I was embarrassed-“

"But you implied it! Out of all people? What the fuck does that even mean?”

"Stop!”

His voice cuts her off and she tenses again, taking a step back from him. This is the first time they’ve fought in the existence of their entire relationship, and she doesn’t count the petty arguments they would have as kids. This was serious. Tears are flowing, voices are raising, and she knows lines have been crossed. She’s hurt.

“We’re not doing this right now.” Josh wipes the wetness off his face before taking a step towards her, his frown deepening. “I don’t want to fight with you. Not like this. Let’s just - let’s take a breather, okay?”

He comes to stand in front of her, hands resting against her shoulders. She can’t help but lean forward to rest her forehead against his shoulder, out of reflex, and takes a few deep breaths. She didn’t realize just how worked up she had gotten - chest rising and falling rapidly as the anger overtook her.

“I’m just done hiding, Josh.” She sounds defeated, voice breaking off at the end as more tears fell. “I don’t want to be a secret anymore.”

“Please just give me until graduation.” Josh pleads, arms beginning to circle around her body. “We’ll tell everyone then. I just need time.”

“Time for what?” She pushes back against his chest and pulls herself out of his arms. “We’ve been together since December… it’s almost May. You’ve had enough time.”

“Y/N, please.”

“No.” Her head is shaking as she fully pulls herself away, face scrunching up in frustration. “I’m not doing that.”

“Listen, let’s talk about this in the morning. You’re upset, I’m upset, and we need to talk about this with a clear head-“

She cuts him off, “No. I don’t need to clear anything, I know what I want. I want to be able to come over and hang out with you and your family as your girlfriend. I want to go on stupid little dates with you in town and hold your stupid hand in public. I just… I just want people to know how much I love you. Why can’t I do that?”

Josh doesn’t respond. He presses his lips together to stop them from trembling and her arms come up to cross over her chest again, hugging herself protectively.

“I can’t do that. Not now.”

She thinks she hears her heart break right then and there, crackling throughout the living room and falling to the ground in a heap of shattered pieces. Her words get stuck in her throat and fresh tears are building up behind her eyes, threatening to fall at any second. He can’t do that? Or does he not want to do that? Her head is whirling with every single earth shattering thought she can come up with and she barely registers her feet moving, body operating on zombie mode as she reaches for her things and starts towards the door.

“Y/N,” Josh calls after her and she can hear his footsteps falling in line with hers. She has the door half open when she feels his hand circle around her wrist and she pulls back immediately, his touch burning her.

“You’re a fucking coward, Josh.” She spits out, turning around to face him. Her cheeks are wet with tears. “Call me whenever you’ve made up your mind, but just know I’m not waiting another fucking month.”

She doesn’t miss the heartbroken expression on Josh’s tear stained face and the quiet plead of her name, but turns around with her chin held high, slamming the door shut and leaving Josh behind her.

...

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

The last few days have been... awkward, more or less, between her and Josh. Since their argument the other night things haven't been exactly the same, but she just chalks it up to the both of them needing time. Things were said that shouldn’t have been said and even though she was hurt by Josh’s words, she knows he’s hurting too.

She still doesn't understand the big deal about it, on why it's not a good reason to let people know that they're dating and why he can’t let anyone know. It's not like she wants to broadcast it to the entire world. She just wants to be able to go to his house as his girlfriend and not have to sneak around his family. It's not fair to them - and to her.

She's propped up against her headboard, a book in hand, when she hears If Not For You blare throughout her room. She pushes herself up with a grunt and pads across her room, seeing Josh's name light up on her screen. Her stomach turns, not expecting a call seeing as she hasn't heard from him in almost 24 hours, and picks it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me." Josh says softly on the other end. She moves back towards her bed and sits down, her free hand playing with the strings of her hoodie.

"I know, I saw your name on the screen."

"Oh, yeah. Right."

Silence fills her ears and she frowns. Their phone calls have never been this awkward, even when they were younger, and her stomach churns with anxiety. Had their argument really been that bad that Josh doesn't know how to speak to her anymore?

"I think we need to talk." He says finally, clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry." She blurts out before he can say anything else, frown deepening. "I mean, I'm not sorry for expressing my emotions but I am sorry for yelling. Yelling doesn’t fix anything, even if I was hurt.”

"I'm sorry too," He whispers and she can see the frown in his voice.

“And I don’t think you’re a coward,” She mumbles, head dipping down. “That was really mean of me to say.”

“You’re right, though. I am a coward and I’m sorry for everything I put you through. It won’t happen again.”

She stops playing with the strings of her hoodie, brows arching in uncertainty as her frown deepens.

"What do you mean?”

Josh pauses on the other end before sighing. "I don't think... we should keep seeing each other."

It feels as if the world comes to a halt. Her heart quickens beneath her chest and her words get stuck in her throat, the only sound being able to come out is the pathetic whine that seems to slip past her lips. He's breaking up with her.

"What?" She breathes down the phone.

"I just," Josh sighs. "We both have so much going on - me with the band, you with school, graduation. Then the possibility that you won't even stay in Michigan. It's just, it's all so stressful right now, Y/N. And I know how upset I made you the other night… I can’t forgive myself for that.”

"I made you upset too," She says shakily. "A relationship isn’t supposed to be easy all the time - arguing is normal. And you promised we’d work through all of that.”

"I know."

"You promised."

"I know.” He pauses again. "It's just - the other night, you know? When you got mad because I’m not ready -"

“To tell everyone about us?" She can't help but laugh, a painful sound, the tears threatening to spill from her eyes before realization hits her. "Wait... Are you seriously breaking up with me because you don't want to tell your fucking brother we're dating?"

"Y/N -"

"Are you fucking serious, Josh?" She feels wetness against her cheeks but doesn't wipe it away, anger bubbling inside of her. "You're that embarrassed to be with me that you can't even fucking tell Jake?"

"You know that's not true."

"It has to be true if you’d rather break up with me than tell anyone we’re dating." She laughs again but it's forced. "I'm only good enough to be seen as your friend but not your girlfriend, huh?”

"Okay, now you're putting words in my mouth." Josh grits out. "I never fucking said that, and you know it."

"It sure sounds like that to me."

There's a long silence on the other end, all she can hear is the sound of Josh's breathing on the other end. She wipes at her face, sniffling quietly.

"I’m just not ready." He says after a moment of silence. His voice was thick with emotion and she didn't miss the way his tone trembled. Her bottom lip quivers as fresh tears begin to pour out.

"What do you mean?"

She knows exactly what he means.

"I just," He sighs and she hears a sniffle, "I think maybe we jumped into this. We worked so well as friends that I thought it'd just be the same if we were actually together and I don't - I think I was wrong.”

There's a finality in his voice that brings another whine out of her, and it's heartbreaking, but she can't help it. It feels as if Josh reached into her chest and ripped her heart out himself, shredding into small, pitiful pieces. She tries to wipe away the fresh tears but they continue to fall.

"Are you really that embarrassed to be with me?" She asks, voice breaking at the end.

"No," She hears his voice break at the end and a few sniffles follow, and her heart twists even more. "God, no. It was never that, okay? I think it's just… something with me."

"Do you not love me anymore?" It's pathetic, it really, really is, but she can't stop herself from asking. The thought was already clawing at her mind, feeding into the terrible thoughts that were beginning to cloud her.

There was another long silence and she clenched her phone between her fingers. Josh sighs shakily on the other end. She brings a hand up to her mouth to try and muffle the sound that wants to escape - another whine, a sob, she doesn't know at this point.

"I'm sorry."

The sob she was trying to contain escaped after that, her hand pressing hard against her mouth to muffle it as much as she could. She can't even think straight, her head whirling with the terrible thoughts again and before she knows it she's hanging up on Josh. She lets her phone fall from her hands and tumble onto the floor, landing with a soft thud but she pays it no mind - she couldn't even if she wanted to.

Every emotion she has felt in the last few minutes of that call comes crashing onto her. Anger, confusion, complete and utter sadness, even a bit of nausea. Where did it all go wrong? They had been happy, at least to her knowledge. And yeah, that argument the other night was a lot but she didn't think it was enough for their relationship to end. She thought it was enough to change Josh’s mind and finally gain enough courage to tell his family about them.

Oh, how wrong she had been.

Another sob wracks through her body as she curls in on herself. She lets herself sit there, for how long she's not sure, and she cries. And cries and cries and cries until she can't anymore. Until her eyes are so swollen that they hurt to even blink. Until she's sick to her stomach and could throw up at any moment. She barely remembers hearing her phone going off during that time and looks down to see 15 missed calls and 20 missed texts from Josh.

A considerable amount of time has passed, an hour she thinks, and she stares down at her forgotten phone. Josh's name flashes across the screen one more time and she thinks she hears her heart shatter beneath her chest, but she sits and lets it ring. She waits a few moments after the ringing stopped before picking it up, reading over the texts Josh had sent.

Please pick up.

I'm so sorry.

Will you just hear me out for a second?

Please.

I'm sorry, Y/N.

She laughs, and it's a bitter one, before tossing her phone to the end of her bed. She goes through the motions like a zombie while getting herself ready for bed, changing out of her clothes, washing her face, brushing her teeth - wanting to keep some normalcy to this rather shit night - before crawling back into her bed and curling up under the covers.

She hears Josh's ringtone blare throughout her room and she brings the blankets up to cover her ears. She thought she had already cried it out, but new tears fell with ease. Her body shakes as another sob rolls through and the last thing she remembers is the sound of Josh calling yet again, his ringtone loud and clear.

"If not for you, my sky would fall. Rain would gather, too. Without your love I'd be nowhere at all. I'd be lost, if not for you."

...

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence

And it smells like me

You can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

It had been weeks since she last heard from Josh, or from anyone really. She's locked herself in her room most days, giving complete radio silence to anyone besides her mom. Doing anything is like a chore now and all she can do is go through the motions - wake up, go to school, come home, sleep. Something so simple like that is so overwhelming to her, most days crying herself to sleep from the exhaustion. She feels as if she's drowning, like she's short of breath and trying to make it back to the surface and right when she gets there she just sinks further and further down.

It only took her mom a few days to realize something was up, not used to having her home at all times; she was usually with Josh. Whether it be at the Kiszka's house or her own, Josh was glued to her side and had been for years, so her mom knew something had happened when they were going on Day 3 of No Josh.

It happened over dinner - confessing to her mother why she and Josh were no longer speaking and that it wasn't just a friend thing, they were actually together and had been for months. Her mother was surprised, more so about Josh breaking up with her and going completely off the radar. She always expected her and Josh would end up together, so that wasn’t much of a surprise. Many tears were shed and she let her mother hold her that night on the couch, rocking her back and forth as she whispered in her ear that everything was going to be okay.

She felt far from it.

Her thoughts are cut off by the sound of someone knocking and she groans, pushing herself up off the couch. She trudges towards the door and looks through the peephole to see who it might be, seeing as she was home alone for the night, and her breath hitches as she sees both Sam and Ronnie on her steps. Sam holds a box in his hands and her heart drops, but laughs it off bitterly.

He couldn't even bring me back my things himself, she thinks before she opens the door and pokes her head around the corner.

"Hey." She says quietly. Sam eyes her suspiciously while Ronnie gives her a frown, immediately pushing her way through the door.

"Where have you been?" Was the first thing Ronnie said to her, staring at her hard.

Her fingers grip the doorknob she's holding onto as she stares in between the two youngest Kiszka's, lips pressing together.

"Here."

Ronnie rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I could've fucking guessed that. Here, how about this - why the hell have you been ignoring me?"

"And me." Sam speaks up. "If Josh did something, fine, but that doesn't give you the excuse to shut all of us out. I thought we were closer than that."

She glances over at him and frowns. His expression is nothing short of a kicked puppy and her stomach turns. She'd grown up with all of Josh’s siblings and being away from any of them was hard for her, but being around them was too much. So maybe she had went a bit MIA on the youngest Kiszka’s, but she meant no malice behind it.

"Yeah, that's not fair. Especially because I have no idea what's even going on!" Ronnie's arms fling about in the space around her before she points to the box in Sam's hands. "All he said was to bring this to you and then shut the door in my face."

"It was rude." Sam butts in, brows furrowing. Ronnie nods.

"Extremely rude." With her hands on her hips, she turns back around to stare at her, giving her a pointed look but voice softening. "You have to tell us what's going on. You're like... a walking corpse at school. I'm worried about you - we're all worried about you."

Ronnie's voice breaking at the end was enough for tears to burn at her eyes and she slowly shuts the door, leaning her forehead against it.

"We broke up."

It's as if time stood still once those words left her mouth. She doesn't bother looking up for their reactions, already knowing what they both would look like. Sam's eyes would be wide in shock and she's guessing from the gasp Ronnie let out, her mouth was hanging open, and those same brown eyes wide.

"What?" Sam speaks up first, the shock evident in his voice.

"What do you mean by broke up?"

"Meaning that we were together and then he broke up with me." She mumbles as she turns around and reaches up to wipe at her eyes, sniffling quietly.

“Holy shit.” Sam says.

“Yeah, holy shit. Why didn’t you bother telling any of us?” Ronnie asks, arms crossing over her chest.

All she can do is huff out a bitter laugh. “Ask your brother about that one because I’m still not sure.”

She finally looks up at the two to find Ronnie staring right at her, expression mixed with anger, hurt, and pity. She has to swallow down the pit that was beginning to form in the back of her throat.

“Explain. Now.”

They've moved to the living room, Sam placing the box of her things on the floor. She's curled up with her knees up to her chest at one end of the couch while Ronnie sits at the other end, her mouth formed in a permanent frown. They’re both staring at her expectedly and she rests her chin against her knees, and she lets it all out.

She tells them everything. From when she knew her feelings for Josh were no longer just friendly in middle school up until their last phone call. All the good, all the bad, and the in between. Their first kiss, the first time they said I love you - she didn’t miss a single detail. She starts crying halfway through, the memories of the beginning of their relationship clouding her head that she doesn’t remember how Sam ended up on the couch beside her, pulling her into his arms. Ronnie scoots closer to them, her own arms wrapping around her. She lets them hold her as the pent up frustration and sadness inside of her is released, quietly sobbing into Sam’s shoulder.

They stay like that for what feels like hours and she thinks she’s cried herself out. She reaches up to wipe the heaviness out of her eyes, feeling as if they’re about to fall out at any moment, and Sam squeezes her side gently.

“Do you want us to stay?” He asks softly. She feels Ronnie smoothing down her hair beside her, leaning into her touch.

“I can order some pizza and we can watch a movie? Whatever you want.” Ronnie mumbles quietly.

She shakes her head as a wet laugh leaves her, sniffling softly, “Is it selfish of me to say I want to be alone? I think I just want to sleep.”

She pulls back from Sam to look in between the both of them, watching as they both wore the same frown. Sam’s grip on her tightens.

“Are you sure?” He says apprehensively, frowning deeply. “You’ve been alone for weeks.”

She shrugs. “At first it really sucked, but it’s gotten better… I’m learning to be without Josh. I realized how attached I was to him, and how not healthy that was. I think I need to learn to be alone and like it.”

She pulls away from the both of them and climbs off the couch, stretching out her limbs. It’s gotten dark outside - they’d been sitting there for a few hours then. Both Ronnie and Sam get up and mimic her, stretching out their stiff limbs.

“If you need anything tell us, okay?” Ronnie says as they make their way to the door. She gives her a small nod and Sam stops in front of her, eyes squinting. She has to look up at him now, the youngest Kiszka growing taller as each day passes. Sam pulls her into his arms again, hugging her tightly to his chest.

“You’re not allowed to shut us out again, you hear me?” He says into her hair before pulling back.

She can’t reply, her throat tightening around her words so she opts for a nod instead, hugging herself to his body again. She feels Sam brush his lips against her forehead before pulling away fully, giving her a gentle smile. She tries to give him one back, but it falls through, and her stomach turns at the pitiful look he gives her. She’s quick to usher them out the door, not wanting for them to see her cry again, and lets them know she’ll call them first thing in the morning.

She makes her way back into the living room and sits down on the floor in front of the box of things they had left behind. She reaches inside and pulls out the folded shirts she had left at Josh’s throughout the years and lets out a huff of air, holding one of the shirts up. Her heart drops when she realizes that it’s not even her shirt, but one of Josh’s old school shirts, but he had always joked around that she wore it more than him.

Fresh tears form in her eyes as she continues to go through the pile of clothes before they’re all laying around her in a heap. There were things she had remembered she left and things she hadn’t even thought about in months and she wishes he had found the scarf she lost a few months ago, the one Josh had gotten her for Christmas a few years prior. It was her favorite and she had been distraught in losing it. Josh promised to get her a new one if he ever found it again.

He never did. His promises seemed to always fall through.

It was all becoming too much. It was all becoming too real. If the radio silence wasn’t enough of a message from Josh, this was definitely the tipping point.

It was over.

With a heavy sigh she gathers the clothing pile up and throws it back into the box, gently picking it up and carrying it up to her room. She doesn’t bother putting them away, instead keeps the box in the corner of room. She’ll get to that another day. For now, she climbs into her bed and curls up under her covers, finally letting her exhaustion take over.

(And what she doesn’t know is that tucked away in the darkest corner of Josh’s closest is that very same scarf she had lost. He had found it while cleaning out his room in search of her things, wanting to get rid of anything that would remind him of her. When he stumbled across the scarf he couldn’t seem to part with it. It reminded him of a time when she was at her happiest, the bright smile on her face clouding his mind. He wants to remember her like that, happy, and not how he left her - heartbroken with a tear stained face.)

...

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

7 Years Later

"Are you sure this is okay?"

She was nervous - no, scratch that - she was scared shitless. It had been years since she had last seen Josh, literally since graduation, and she wasn't completely sure why she had even agreed to come tonight anyways.

Maybe it was the countless phone calls from Ronnie practically begging her to come, or maybe there was a small part of her that actually wanted to see him again. Or maybe she was insane and loved inflicting pain onto herself. At this point, she doesn't know.

Ronnie rolls her eyes. "Y/N, if it wasn't okay I wouldn't have invited you."

She frowns. "I know, but -"

"Calm down." Ronnie turns to face her now, placing both hands on her shoulders. "You had fun tonight, right?"

She stares at her with wide eyes before nodding slowly. Ronnie had called her about a month ago letting her know that the boys would be in Los Angeles this weekend for a show and insisted that she come. Her and Ronnie kept in touch throughout the years, and she's kept in touch with both Sam and Danny. Jake was... here and there, she'd say. They were close when they were younger but when her and Josh "drifted apart", as she put it, so did her and Jake.

And she did have fun. She'd been to a few band practices with the boys in high school but it was nothing at this level. It was an entirely different from watching them play in their garage - she felt as if she was having an out of body experience from how incredible it was. They were so talented, and always had been. She kept up to date on Greta Van Fleet because of Ronnie and their parents, watching from afar, and she knew they had something special. She remembers the night they had won their Grammy and she Facetimed Sam immediately, screaming a congratulations down the phone before he had even fully appeared on screen.

That was the first time she had seen Josh, albeit not in person, since graduation. All the boys were huddled together around Sam's phone and she froze up immediately. He looked different, but still all the same. It was a weird feeling seeing him again - she remembers the way her heart dropped once their eyes met through the camera. They all thanked her, even Josh, and she gave them all a weak smile and another string of congratulations before hanging up. That was the last time she'd spoken to Josh since... well, since forever.

"Of course," She said softly. "This has been the most fun I've had in awhile."

Ronnie smiles at her, the memories from the night flooding her mind. They stayed in the back, hopefully far enough to where no one would notice her, and just danced and sang the night away. A few fans came up to them during the show, recognizing Ronnie, and some even recognized her from old high school photos. That was a bit odd, random strangers recognizing her from photos that she probably hadn't seen in years, but they had been incredibly kind.

"And you didn't freak out when you saw him, right?"

She wouldn't call it a freak out, but she did freeze up when he came out on stage. He's much different than he was in high school, more grown up, more sure of himself. The moment he smiled to the crowd and the venue erupted into screams, her stomach did that stupid little fluttery thing, and she knew those feelings that she had all those years ago were still locked up somewhere inside. Though, instead of freaking out and running away like she thought she would, she smiled and let the music take her away.

"Not entirely."

Ronnie laughs. "That's good enough for me."

"But this is different. I didn't freak out because I wasn't face to face with him but in there," She waves her arms towards the dressing room door they were about to walk through, face scrunching up in slight panic, "I'm going to be in front of someone I haven't seen since fucking high school, Ron."

"You've seen the other three plenty of times since then."

She rolls her eyes. "I didn't date them. And they all had the audacity to reach out to me throughout the years, Josh hasn't said a single word since 2014."

Ronnie gives her a pointed look. "Please tell me every single time you reached out to him since graduation."

She huffs but doesn’t respond, crossing her arms over her chest. Goddammit.

Ronnie pushes her towards the door, keeping her hands on her shoulders. "Listen, it'll be like old times! We all haven't hung out together in so long, Y/N. And you know I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think you were ready. It’ll be nice."

They come to stop at the door and Ronnie faces her again, giving her a smile. She tries to act mad, glaring at the girl and trying to repress the smile that's threatening to spread across her lips. She fails but can you blame her? It's hard to stay mad when it comes to Ronnie.

"It might be a little fun," She mumbles eventually, shrugging her shoulders. Ronnie's smile grows.

"See! That's the spirit." She reaches for the door knob and twists it before looking at her from over her shoulder. "Oh, and before we go in... only Sam, Danny, and Jake know you're here."

Her eyes widened in surprise at Ronnie's words and all the worries she once had came rushing back to her, shaking her head from side to side. Her mouth opens to yell at the girl but Ronnie's opening the door and shoving her inside with such force she stumbles into the room, catching herself on the vanity near the wall.

"Surprise!" Ronnie shouts from behind her as the door shuts, throwing her arms in the air.

She looks up to find four boys staring at her but only one of them looks shocked, and of course it's Josh. His shock then turns into something else, something she can't read, and her heart twists beneath her chest. She swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in her throat, smoothing her hands down on her jacket. Why did she wear this? And when did it get so hot in here?

"Y/N!" Sam yells as he makes his way across the room, wrapping his arms around her. He picks her up off the ground and twirls her, a soft squeak escaping from her lips at the sudden movement.

"Sammy!" She shouts back, but her voice is not as strong as his was. She musters up a smile but she's sure it's awkward. He doesn't notice, or he doesn't care, because he's beaming at her while placing her back onto the ground.

He looks so much older now, a bit of stubble has grown on his chin and he cut his hair since the last time she saw him. She can't help but reach out and tug at the ends gently. Danny's the next one to come up to her, pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

"It's been too long." He says, pulling back to give her a smile. She laughs.

"It hasn't even been a year," She says. Which is true. The last she had seen Danny was over Christmas a few months ago when she had come back home for a week to spend with her Mom and she had spent the day with him and his girlfriend.

"Like I said, too long."

"Alright, alright. My turn, get away from her." Jake says from beside her and she jumps, not even noticing him coming up to her side. She's pulled from Danny's arms and into Jake's chest and she relaxes immediately, melting into his touch.

Besides Josh and eventually Ronnie, Jake had been the closest to her. They'd stay up all night talking whenever she'd come over and they both couldn't sleep, sitting outside on the Kiszka's porch until morning. When her and Josh broke up and the group found out about it, about their secret relationship, Jake had been one of the first to drift from her. It was hard, losing Josh and then Jake, and it wasn't because he was taking his brother's side or anything - he felt betrayed. The fact she nor Josh told him about their relationship hurt him. She never blamed him for it because she understood.

It wasn't until last year when she had seen or even spoken to Jake again, the boy coming to her mothers house out of the blue one day when she was back home for a short visit. It came as a shock to her but she invited him in immediately, apologizing profusely for what had happened years prior. He apologized as well, even apologizing for never reaching out until then.

"Missed you," He said into her hair, sneaking a kiss to her head without the others knowing. She smiled into his chest.

"Missed you too, Jake."

They pull away from each other after a moment and the only person left is Josh who's still staring at her with that same unreadable expression. Someone clears their throat, probably Sam, and she feels hot again, wanting nothing more than to get rid of the stupid jacket that Ronnie told her to wear and to run out of the room. She unwraps her arms from Jake's waist and brings a hand up to wave at Josh, giving him a closed mouth smile.

"Hi."

His gaze drops to her hand and then back to her face, a strained smile forming on his lips.

"Hi Y/N."

Everyone's eyes are on them and she can just feel how awkward the air is. The tension was almost overbearing. It's embarrassing, really, and she clears her throat before averting her gaze from Josh's towards Sam, who's clapping his hands together.

"I don't know what that was," He starts, "but it was fucking weird. Don't ever do that again."

Both her and Josh let out surprised laughs, a bit forced, and Sam gives them a crooked smile.

"We don't have to be out of here for another hour, I think." Sam says as he sits down on one of the couches in the middle of the room, patting the spot next to him. "Please indulge me on all things Y/N that I may have missed since the last I saw you."

"Me too." Jake nods, sitting on the other end of the couch Sam occupied, making room for her in the middle.

"Nothing's really changed since the last time we spoke." She says with a shrug of her shoulders before plopping down next to the two brothers. She watches as both Danny and Ronnie take their places on the couch across from them and Josh opts for sitting on the armrest next to Danny, arms crossed over his chest.

They fall into easy conversation after that, laughing together like it was old times. It's crazy to think the last time they all sat around like this was over seven years ago - back when her and Josh were okay. It doesn’t feel like it was that long ago.

Her eyes flicker towards him to see that he's staring down at Danny, listening intently to what he's saying with a smile on his face. Her heart flutters, hands clenching in her lap because it's been so long since she's seen his smile - a genuine one at that. She's seen photos online and from Ronnie, but seeing it infront of her after all these years is enough to take her breath away.

And it's pathetic, really it is, to yearn for a time when they were children but it's hard not to. His smile takes her back to a time where she hadn't had a single worry about the world and was happy with Josh by her side. It was simpler then - but they're adults now. Things are different.

It took her a long time to come to terms with the fact that her relationship with Josh, and even Jake, would never be the same. Her happiness dwindled, it came in waves, crashing into her with such intensity that once the moment left, it was like she had to start all over again. She had been glued to the Kiszka's at such a young age, losing the twins was like losing herself. She had to adapt, be her own person, and even though the road getting there was long and winding, she's finally at a spot in her life where she can confidently say everything will be okay.

Maybe her mom had been right.

The thought makes her smile to herself and Josh glances at her at the exact moment. They stare for a moment and she watches as the corners of his lips twitch into a wider smile before focusing back on Danny.

The hour passes by much too quickly for her liking and they're all packing up and moving out of the room, and Jake's arm wrapping around her shoulder to tug her close.

"We'll be in town for a few more days, we should get together again." He says, lips brushing against the side of her head. She leans into him, eyes fluttering shut before giving him a nod.

"Of course," She says softly and smiles up at him, before turning to look at the rest of the group. Her eyes stop on Josh and she gives him a timid smile, "You're all welcome to come by my place any time while you’re here, we could have dinner or something."

Josh mimics her grin and stuffs his hands into his pockets, tilting his head to the side. "That sounds nice."

"It speaks!" Sam shouts from behind them. Josh rolls his eyes at his younger brothers words and she has to press her lips together to suppress the smile threatening to form.

The tension in the air had subdued and even though she knew things were far from perfect, it was still nice to be around Josh and not feel so... tight. Feel as if she can't step out of place in fear of making him upset or worse, making herself upset and a fight between them breaking out. The night went better than she, and everyone for that matter, had expected.

"Actually, do you have a minute to talk? Alone?" Josh asked, voice low. Everyone still heard him but turned around and acted as if they heard nothing at all, starting up conversations between themselves. She chooses to ignore the knowing smirk Ronnie gives her and nodding at Josh.

"Um... Of course, yeah."

The timid smile Josh gives her was enough to make her stomach flutter and a comforting kind of warmth spread across her body, following Josh down the hall and away from their group

"It was..." He pauses, licking at his lips. "It was really nice to see you."

Her stomach flutters at his words but she tries to remain neutral, arms crossing over her chest.

"It was nice seeing you too," She says earnestly, giving him a small smile. "I won't lie, I was nervous as all hell to come tonight. I didn't know what Ronnie was planning."

"You never know with her." He chuckles at that. "I had no clue you were here until you stepped into the room. Jake said he had a surprise for me but I wasn't... expecting you."

Silence overlaps them and she stares down at her shoes, unsure of what to say. It was weird, standing so close to someone she used to know inside and out and not knowing them at all. The Josh she knew is different from the Josh in front of her, this one being a stranger.

"I'm sorry for never reaching out." He finally says. She lifts her head up to find him staring at her, regret apparent in his eyes.

She frowns. "I'm sorry too."

He laughs, but it's painful, and he rubs at his neck nervously. "Jake always said we were the two most stubborn people he's ever met."

She watches him carefully but doesn’t say a word, pressing her lips together. Jake wasn’t wrong - the two of them were stubborn. Josh may say Jake was more stubborn than him, but she knew he was the worst out of the two.

“Why didn’t you?” She asks after a few moments of silence.

Josh leans back against the wall across from her and crosses his arms over his chest. “I was scared.”

“Why?”

“I hurt the one person I never wanted to,” He says softly, eyes meeting hers, “because I was too worried about what people would think.”

She scoffs. “Oh, so you were embarrassed to be with me?”

“Y/N.” He groans, tipping his head back to thud gently against the wall. “You always know how to twist my words.”

“You said you were worried about what people would think. How else am I supposed to take that?”

“I was scared what people would think because I knew you were too good for me. Everyone thought so.” He tips his head forward to look at her again, lips in a frown. “And I was stupid. I let them get to my head.”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” She says quietly, “but you’re not stupid. I just - I wish you would’ve talked to me.”

“I know. I wish I did too.” A beat of silence overlaps them again before Josh continues, “If I could take it back, I would.”

Her heart beats rapidly beneath her chest at his words, face flushing with color.

“That was years ago, Josh.”

He gives her a smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes, and her heart drops. The look in his eyes spoke a thousand words and it was heartbreaking.

“Before anything you were best friend.” He spoke softly and this time his smile does meet his eyes, though still a bit sad. “My other half. And I ruined that because I was a stupid kid. Losing you was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. So… yeah, I’d take it back in a heartbeat.”

Her heart drops. My other half. Her eyes burn with tears at his words and she looks off to the side, but she knows he noticed. Seven years of radio silence, seven years of nothing, seven years of coming to terms with what happened for it to come to this. On one hand it’s a relief to know that even after all these years Josh regretted it but on the other hand… she wished he hadn’t said anything at all.

“Josh…”

“This isn’t me asking you for anything.” He takes a step towards her, arms coming to rest at his sides. “I just - I never got to apologize. I owe you that much, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness right now but I hope one day I’ll be deserving of it.”

He’s in front of her now, just barely out of arms length. Their eyes meet and for a second the world stops - they aren’t standing in a random hallway with their friends and family a few feet away but instead they’re back inside of Josh’s car, John Denver playing over the speakers as they take on another adventure.

“I forgave you a long time ago.” Her voice is barely above a whisper and her heart stumbles at the small smile Josh gives her.

“Well, isn’t this just my lucky day?”

She can’t help but smile back, laughter falling from her lips with ease.

They stand there for a few moments, just staring at each other, before Josh finally takes a step back, and wordlessly tilts his head down the hall to insinuate that they should head back to the band and Ronnie.

"Do you think we could meet tomorrow? Maybe get lunch, or something. Catch up on the years we’ve missed.” They're walking back towards the group now, side by side, and she has to hide the wide smile that's beginning to form on her lips.

"I think I'd like that."

The beaming smile Josh gave her was enough to let her own slip, cheeks beginning to hurt just from how hard she was smiling. She still wasn't sure what this would entail and where they even stood, but she knew that in the end, whatever happened, everything would be okay eventually.

taglist (forgot to add this lol)

@danny-wagners-peacesign-necklace

#josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka #gvf #greta van fleet #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet imagines #title from taylor swifts all too well taylors version 10 min version as well ugh #this song makes me emotional lol #my writing #josh kiszka imagine

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 3 years

Text

The Perfect Life

Part Five

Summary- 5.1k Dark!Steve x You x Dark!Bucky. You took your chances out in the sunflowers and Bucky still managed to find you. Now your caught in the super soldiers grasp and the barn is his destination to break you. Your sweet pleads can not dissuade him.

Warnings- Non Con Theme, Orgasm Denial and Knife Use, Mentions of blood. This is an 18+ Blog.

Part 4

“Bucky, I will behave. Whatever you want.” You cried into his shoulder as you felt the barn's darkness swallow you whole. The last memories of this place where they broke you made you quake and shiver. Steve wrapping you in the ropes, Bucky running the blade over you while they both took their time breaking you in.

No it can't happen again.

“I- I can do what I did for Steve.” You offered as he swung you down onto a pile of straw on the barns floor. You twisted to pull yourself away, but he was quick to drag you back and shoved you onto your back, his weight holding you down, ignoring the pleading.

“I know what you did for Steve.” Bucky said, his eyes cold as he snatched your wrists to yank above your head and lash a coil of rope around one, pulling it tight around them so you couldn't wriggle out of the bindings, but loose enough he could roll you from your back to your stomach. “And one day, I will see you on your knees swallowing my cock.” He sat back and gripped your chin, making you blink teary eyed up at him. “But when that happens it's because you want to. Not because you have to.”

“Bucky I will never want to.”

He studied you, again his touch gentle on your face as his face was a thunderous anger brimming in his greyish blue, resembling a summer storm just about to release. “You will be eating those words one day.” He shifted off your body and unbuttoned your jeans to yank them off, your flailing legs trying to kick at him but he was quicker to dodge flying feet and tossed your jeans away. Monsters didn’t care.

“Fuck you Bucky, you know this shit is wrong. What you two are doing to me.” Anger welling through you, knowing that your pleading wasn't going to make him stop. Nothing was going to make them stop.

Bucky stretched one leg to the corner of the mattress and tilted your hip enough when you caught him in the chest, right where you had stabbed him with the tip of the knife. It made him hiss at the sting, bright white teeth snapping together as his mouth turned to a sneer while he bound one ankle hurriedly. His palm smacked harshly against your ass, digging his fingers in the flesh. “Same argument every time Doll. We’re mistreating you...” he let you flip back into place and wrapped the rope around your ankle. Making you spread eagle now on the mattress as he rose above you, admiring you all spread out for him. “... This is what you think of us, or me? Fine. Then that is how I will treat you.” He reached down to give a yank on your ropes to make sure you weren't going anywhere before he strode away, leaving you all alone.

“Bucky... ? “ You called after him with a shaky voice, but he left you all alone in the dark barn. The soft coo of disturbed birds trilled above you in the hay loft and slivers of moonlight sliced through busted beams above, putting the whole place in shadows.

And the shadows played with your mind, waiting for one of them to come out and claim you as before, this was a living nightmare, so if Steve showed back up suddenly, it really wouldn't surprise you.

Just as helpless as before, your mind created devastating scenarios. Brutally being destroyed made you squirm more, the ropes rubbing wickedly in your wrists but never loosening. Of course you should have known better, Bucky would be an efficient knot maker.

Your mouth felt dry, your body hyper aware of the slightest breeze going through the barn, the straw underneath you, the prickle of the old ropes in your wrists and ankles as well as the angle Bucky left you in. You did your best to calm yourself, whatever was coming you could handle. You hoped.

He didn't leave you alone for too long, soon the door creaked and a twist of your head showed him striding back in. Having changed into a pair of loose grey sweats, bare chested and in his hand a silver flash of the kitchen knife you had brought with you. He must have gone back to retrieve it.

“What are you going to do with that?” You asked, looking at him warily and trying to shift away from him as much as the ropes allowed.

Bucky spared you a glance wriggling in distress on the hay pile , twisting your hands to tug at the ropes, panting slightly as your eyes glazed in fear and mistrust. “Whatever I want Y/N, because I’m a monster who just takes what I want without caring about others.”

You rolled your body as he sank to his knees next to you, trying to avoid him, but he crowded into your space and felt the suffocation of his much larger body smothering yours into the scratchy straw. It prickled down your back and along the back of your thighs, making your skin crawl in the process. It would have been maddening if you weren't so focused on the man above you or the cold silver knife that you stupidly thought would keep you safe before.

Now he was going to use it on you.

Bucky twisted the flat of the blade to trail along your quivering stomach, your chest rising rapidly in your panic thinking that you were going to feel the knife press sharply to split you open. The blade was cool on your heated skin, ice cold to you that the steel of it felt like it was burning you. “Bucky don’t.”

“Don’t what Doll? According to you, this is what I am.” He moved to straddle you, his heavier weight making you sink into the hay, trapping your thighs flat beneath him. His palm fell forward while he leaned forward, his eyes roving up your naked body, a storm cloud grey swirling pattern in his eyes while his pupils widened like a dark moon. “Monster, say it again.” The tip of the blade dragged between your cleavage to scrape your collarbone and up your neck, the tip pressing against your fluttering pulse below your neck.

Your voice stuttered in your throat, cursing yourself for your attempt. Tears strained at the corner of your eyes as you arched your head back to strain away from the knife tip, but Bucky followed, always close enough for you to feel the pressure.

But never close enough to actually split your skin apart, to feel the warm gush of your blood racing away. The threat was there though, a flick of his wrist could split you open.

“Say it Doll, remind me of what I am.” He demanded again and that is when the words stuttered from you in defeat.

“A monster Bucky, a monster. You and Steve both.” you sobbed out and he smirked cooly while dropping his head to drag his tongue over a taunt nipple, the blade threatening to press into your jugular so you couldn't move, couldn't even jolt in surprise.

“A monster that is going to consume you.” He nipped at your nipple, making it sting enough so you let yourself choke on a sob. Sliding further down, his knife started to drag back down your chest, the tip welting your skin enough to scratch a faint line down your body. The only relief of that was the knife wasn’t pressed to your jugular, able to twist your head in just the tiniest big of freedom once more

“Please don't Bucky…”

“You don't get to ask for any favors Y/N.” He snapped with a slight bite to the flesh of your belly below your belly button. “You're mine to do what I want with.” His other hand, the whirl of mechanics gears cut through your harsh breathing whimpers and his grunts as he pressed his nose into the curls on your mound, inhaling your intimate scent deep into his lungs. The cool hand pressed your thighs open wider than they already were, dragging fingers through folds that were dry for now.

You were too scared to be aroused at the way Bucky treated your body, his promising threats making you distracted. But he wasn't having that, the feel of his digits hurt as he chased that bud.

“Can’t even get wet for me Doll? Make it easier on yourself?” He taunted as he arched his brow at you. You shook your head a moment to answer and shuddered when he spread your pussy folds apart, admiring the pink flesh for a moment before he spat on you, spreading through your warm core to lube you.

“Shouldn't matter to me, your comfort.” He informed you while he went back to pressing his mouth close to your core, tendrils of his hair falling forward to pool against the top of your mound, tangling in the curls there. “I should just fuck you raw, right?” Pink tip of his tongue circled your clit, and this time the tiny little bud was starting to throb tenderly, your body did arch on its own accord and he let the knife follow your body's movements, not letting it cut at you.

“Bucky…” You gritted your teeth, hating that you even let it escape. He hummed against your clit, sending a jolt through your system while he suckled and kissed your clit, the sharp tip of the knife sinking slightly into your skin near your hip, dragging down to make a red welt, tiny beads of blood welling up.

You didn't even notice the slight sting as he flattened his tongue, lapping at your clit in quick flicks. His eyes lifted knowing, watching the heave of your breasts as you tried breathing in deep enough to keep your calm. “Taste so good, I might just stay here all day Doll. Eat you out as long as I want.” Another drag of his tongue through your folds was followed by two quick nicks of the knife tip to your hip, slightly deeper than before, the pleasure of his tongue lapping through your cunt was matched with the stinging sharpness on your hip, both distracting as to what was going on.

“Wh-what are you doing to me Bucky?” You asked with a watery quiver and he buried his face into your cunt, tossing the knife far enough away that you couldn't reach it and grabbing your hips to stop your squirming, which made you go mindless.

The sound was downright filthy, his grunts and groans followed with messy sucks and kisses fucking you on his tongue till you were so close, his nose bumping against your clit to keep you rubbing your cunt into his face, wanting more, needing more.

You were SO CLOSE.

Clenching on his tongue and your mindless pleases uttered above him, he quickly yanked away just before you crested. Lifting your head with arousal blown pupils, you rocked your hip, trying to get him to put his mouth on you again. But he sat back, the lower half of his face glistening with you.

His gaze still cold seeing you withering in the hay. “Bucky, please.”

“You tried to leave Y/N, you don’t deserve to cum. You have to earn that.” He leaned over and was sure to kiss you, full of tongue and teeth so he could spread your taste through your mouth while you were left not reaching any satisfaction, still trying to find your release and wanting to cry for not getting it.

“Are you leaving me here Bucky?” you whined out when he pulled away, spreading your folds to tease you just a little, the slightest touch making your lids flutter but he yet again never let it get further than that. “That's what heartless fuckers do Y/N, you can stay in the barn.” He pushed to a stand. “My mark though… looks good on you.” Your gaze dropped to your hip, that was really stinging now. You saw streaks of blood welting around a B.

“You cut me?” You cried out, struggling in your bindings. Bucky gave a nod while going to collect the knife.

“I marked you Doll. A reminder of who owns you.” He softly said over his shoulder as he headed for the door and left you to lay there, body aching in more ways than one.

You were back to being helpless and you screamed in absolute frantic frustration, cursing them with everything you could think of and sobbing uncontrollably until you felt like your body was drained of every last drop you had left to offer.

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Bucky went back into the house. The cold house, it felt empty without your presence in there. His hand shook slightly holding the knife you took from the butcher's block and he tossed it loudly into the sink, little droplets of your blood whisking along the steel harshness and down the drain.

“A few days out there will remind her.” He muttered to himself, trying to justify his actions. Still he could taste your sweetness on his lips with a dart of his tongue collecting, and a raging hard on in his sweats. It was hard not to fuck you in the hay, to keep you clenching there in heated agony with denial.

This wasn't what he nor Steve wanted, hell he wanted more of what you two had the day before, lazy days of reading and then cooking for one another. Tiredly he climbed the stairs, heading for a cool shower and jerked off in the shower. Steve had told him that it might take a while till they could convince you that you were right where you belonged.

Bucky hated this, hated having to break you. But he was good at it. He could be patient. It would be worth it in the end.

Cold water streamed over his steaming body as he fisted his erection, palm slapping against the shower wall as he pictured you so willingly on your knees, smiling up at him with want.

One day.

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How much can a person take till they break? It was a question you were going to find out, as Bucky was set on edging you over and over for days, every time you thought you were able to control that one thing, he proved you wrong. Your body responded to him, each and every time he descended on you, betraying you in the most mindless way. Your muscles screamed in the restraints, wanting to fold on yourself till you were small as possible to combat the fluttering flame that made your lower belly clench now at just the sight of him.

Your tears, your pleas, did nothing to stop him. Every time he would end it with a clashing kiss and whispered reminder that you were there to do as they wanted, you had no choice. The sooner you submit to that, the better your life would be.

“You said it yourself Doll, we do what we want, we are monsters.” and he would fit a vibrator against your cunt, taking out a small remote. Even when he wasn't there, he could be in control of you.

“No, no Bucky, I was wrong.” You tried apologizing to him, dreading the added torture of the vibrator. Bucky just seemed to know you had relaxed and the vibrations would start like a gentle lull in your core, to edge it up slowly, hours of it till your body gave out.

He knew you were lying to him, trying to find mercy.

After you felt like you really couldn't take it anymore, you tried to bargain with him. Eyes pleading as you looked up at him. “I promise I can be good, your good girl. You will be so proud of me, please Bucky.” Your voice was so timid, so sweet, so soft. You were giving in to him.

It almost broke the man, his hands lingering at the ties holding you in place, but his forehead dipped to yours and pressed his lips to yours. He felt you surge, so accepting of it that it gave him hope.

“Soon Doll… you are almost there.” his fingers curled in you, stroking your fluttering walls till he once more pulled away.

You were close, so close, so close you thought as your tired wrung out body tensed once more, wanting to crash and held on the edge, denied of pleasure and drained of the will to fight.

Now and then you would fall into fitful sleep, when your body gave out and you sunk into nothing. But it never lasted all that long, always being on edge. You were jerked awake once more by the creak of the door and you expected to see Bucky come back for the sweet torture of your body.

But it wasn't your dark Bucky coming, no it was golden hair and blue eyed storm, massive as his boots thudded against the old dusty boards of the floor stalking towards you.

Steve must have just come home because his suit was looking worn for days, his beard a bit more rugged, grown out. He squatted next to you, tracing a finger down your quivering belly where you rolled slightly under his touch, panting slightly as the vibrations started humming through you, Bucky had turned the vibrator back on.

“Oh Sweetheart, do you know how disappointed I am to hear you misbehaved?” Steve tutted as he circled your belly button, pressing a hand against your mound to make the vibrations more intense.

“I was bad, but I learned, I swear Steve. Let me show Bucky I can be good.” You squirm with a whine. “Just make it stop.”

He tilted his head, his eyes roving up and down your sweat streaked body, quivering in your restraints. His gaze stopped at the B that had now scarred into your hip, his hand sliding to cover it, his thumb tracing the loops that made up the letter. His jaw clenched slightly, fingers digging into your hip possessively before he pushed to a stand

A sob broke when you thought he was going to leave you laying there but he leaned over you with taunting sush, his fingers worked on the ties. “Hush now Sweetheart, I just came back, you really think I’m leaving you here all alone.” he directed and the ties fell loose, your arms dropping that made you scream at the sudden release. Your muscles having been long stretched in your restraints were burning in relief at being loose, you curled into a fetal position to get rid of the vibrating toy, gasping in relief when you were finally free from it all. Soon your ankles were released and Steve reached down to scoop you into his arms.

“Promise to behave right Sweetheart?”

“Yes, please Steve just take me out of here.” You pulled in closer to him, your arms circling his neck and closing your eyes to hide your face against his shoulder. While carrying you out, Steve gave a pleased smile.

Maybe they finally have you where they want you. Compliant, the perfect housewife.

Steve brought you into the quiet house and right up the stairs towards your yellow sunflower bedroom. He set you down in front of the bathroom door, nodding towards the over sized shower. “Go start the water and I will be right there.” You give a nod, immediately obeying what he told you to do.

Steve watched as you carefully walked away from him, sure you were steady on your feet and started to undress from his midnight blue stealth suit. The rush of water sounded off the porcelain tub and a whisk of the curtain told him you were waiting for him. Fisting his hand on his cock a moment to control the throbbing, seeing you all subdued spread eagle in the hay had gotten him worked up, but even more was Bucky's mark on you. You belonged to both of them, seeing you with Bucky's signature, well that made a part of him feral. Needing to lay a claim on you.

Following you into the tub, he found you standing under the hot spray, head tilted back as it ran rivers down your body, swirling at your feet to escape down the drain. Your skin was turning pink from the heat and Steve reached for your hips, pulling you back into him where he rutted slightly against your plump ass while he brushed his chin against your shoulder.

The scratch made you inhale sharply, a slight whine rising from the back of your throat. You were so sensitive that your body still ached. “Steve…”

“Mmhh, you are going to be a good girl for me, I have been gone a long time.” His hands roamed up your body to cover your breasts, kneading and rolling his fingers against your nipples, pulling expertly. “And I know Bucky left you so close, but never quite able to cum, right Sweetheart?” His tone gruff in that way that made you take notice, your body tensing for him; thighs clenching, pussy weeping, breathing coming in pants. He pulled a bit harder when you didn't answer right away.

“Y-yes Steve.”

He hummed a bit, turning you to face him, backing you to the wall and pining you between him and the cool tiles. “I’ve missed you, a lot. Missed that sweet mouth of yours.” A kiss pressed to your lips, a swipe of tongue insisting to claim you. Steve didn't give you a choice, he never did. He deepened the kiss and crushed himself into you as his hands grasped your hips and pushed you roughly up to wrap your legs around him, his cock hard between you, pressing heated into your belly. “That image of you on your knees with your lips spread on my cock got me through the nights I was away. I know that sweet cunt is ready for me.” He growled into your mouth as he spread your ass cheeks apart and rutted his hips. “I can just smell how aroused you are.” Steve didn't even try to take it easy when he filled you with a jarring thrust.

As on edge as you had been for days, the stretch of him burned, made you cry out in a yelp but he bit your lip, sucking the air from you to swallow your cry while he thrusted into you, bottoming himself. “Don't fight this Baby, be my good girl.”

You nodded harshly in agreement, already your swollen aroused walls squeezing around him, seeking that long denied satisfaction, you grabbed at his back, digging in your nails to hold on as his thrusts pounded into you, each one a powerful breaking force that left you going mindless. Burying your head into his shoulder with sobs of his name, Steve was efficient.

He had fucked you enough times to know what spots made you really break apart. You used to fight against it, prevent that cresting moment that gave him the satisfaction in knowing he owned your ass.

You didn't even try this time. You squeezed around his driving cock, clawed at his upper back and mixed tears with the water raining down from above you, making your bodies sticky and slippery all at once, hair plastered to your heads. One hand to your hip, his other wrenched your head back, baring his teeth as he grunted with each movement, drops of water catching in his lashes, drizzling down to escape into his darker beard.

Your own eyes rolled back in your head, your voice breaking with a cry of his name as you creamed around him, your body locking and he smirked with a kiss, fierce, dominating.

No way he was done with you.

Pulling out, he dropped you to your feet, easily holding onto you to keep you from falling when he twisted you, your face twisted against the shower tiles and his broad hairy chest pressing into your back as he smacked your ass with his palm, hard enough for you to plead out.

“Fuck Steve, finish it.”

“I will when I'm good and ready. Your body is so fucking ready that it will take me however many times I want you, drip my cum from your sweet little pussy all fucking night, because you. are. mine.” he was sure to make his point, his palm tapping against your ass sharply with each word, leaving your skin stinging fiercly.

You groaned, but did not fight him. They made it clear, you were theirs. His hands wrapped around your hips, his fingers so easily finding that B that was carved into you and digging in harshly. Dropping his head close. “Bucky might have marked you, but you will never forget me once you swell up with my child.”

And he pulled your hips out, thrusting his cock back into you. You arched your back at the impact with a fatal moan, the moan that made Steve lose it.

He fucked into you like a man desperate, hips slamming into your ass and his body caged around yours, keeping you pressed into his chest as his mouth worked on your neck and shoulders. One hand kept a hold on your hip, holding you in place while the other roamed your chest, squeezing your tits and pressing onto your stomach. When a hand found a way between your thighs, you broke.

You felt yourself sag as you came crashing again, and Steve filled you with his seed this time. Sure to pump himself in you over and over even after the hot spurts deep in your clenching core stopped and he panted against your shoulder, finally going still. “Can’t have you lose any Sweetheart.”

Your eyes squeezed shut as you did your best from losing it entirely, this was your life. You could either fight it and live in some form of torture, or accept it for what it has become.

Pulling out, he grabbed some soap and suds his hand to run over your body. Compliant, you moved the way he wanted you to, holding onto him to keep your balance. Turning you around to do your back, he mentioned out loud. “You are awful quiet Sweetheart.”

You tilted your head into the water and stepped away to rinse off, moving aside so he could finish himself.

“Sorry Steve, what would you like me to say?”

He hummed as he scrubbed at himself in the shower before he tilted his head. “How about you are happy to see me? I might actually have a surprise for you. Bucky and I both do.” He cranked off the water and stepped out, drying himself rather quickly and wrapped a towel around his hips. As you climbed out, he held out an over sized towel for you to step into, moving down your back and he knelt in front of you, rubbing the back of your thighs and along the inside.

His fingers followed droplets paths to catch, his lips pressing against your belly, while looking up. “You are beautiful, and will be more so when you are all swollen.”

It was something you certainly could wait for. Your hands braced back against the sink to keep your balance once more, still feeling weak. In an attempt to change the subject, you looked down at him.

“You said you had a surprise for me?” He grinned up at you before giving one last kiss to your belly before going to a stand and wrapping you in the towel.

“It's in my bedroom with Bucky waiting for you.” he directed, gently making you continue when you paused to get dressed in your room. Clutching the towel tighter, you padded down the couple doors towards his bedroom. His door was shut so you waited in front of it while Steve’s oversized palm pressed against it, swinging it open.

You first saw Bucky, sitting cross legged in the center of the bed. Loud purrs emitted from his lap and your eyes dropped to your curled up cat, sleeping on him with loud purrs, flicks of her tail showing her content.

“You… you went and got my girl?” Your eyes welled up in surprise, Steve bracing his hands gently against your shoulders to lead you to the bed.

Bucky looked up from under strands of his hair having fallen forward as he was looking down at your Suga, his fingers grazing through her fur so gently.

You rushed to kneel on the bed, your hand quivering to reach out and pet her, but then yanked it away, looking between Bucky and Steve for permission. “Go ahead Doll.” Bucky reached out to grasp your chin and make you look at him with a smile. “You earned it.”

You took this gift, reaching forward to wrap your hands around your cat and lifted her into your arms, pressing your face into her familiar soft fur as she squirmed a bit to get comfortable and then started head butting you with happy meows and kitten licks on your nose and forehead.

“Where, when... How did you guys get her?” you asked incredulously at this gift. You eased her down onto the bed, while she started to clean herself and settled back down between you and Bucky.

Bucky nodded over towards Steve who had made his way to his closet and was getting dressed. “Steve picked her up.”

“On my way back, I swung by your apartment complex. We had all your stuff packed Y/N and put in storage. Your cat was being taken care of till I was able to go collect her.”

You couldn't help the soft smile at seeing your baby, your fingers scratching just under her chin, taking a shuddering breath.

“Thank you Steve, Thank you Bucky.” and both the men rumbled a ‘You’re welcome’ back.

Part of you was so happy to see your cat, but part of you, the part that was desperate, felt your situation just get that much more desolate.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

It was hours later when Steve checked in on you back in your room, you were curled with your cat on your bedspread, sound asleep for probably the first time in several days. Carefully he closed the door so you could continue sleeping, turning away to go back downstairs where Bucky was to fill him in on his mission.

As Steve heavily made his way down the stairs, he couldn't hold himself back. “So thought you should just mark our girl?”

Bucky, who was sprawled on a corner of the couch, book wedged in his hand, he never bothered pausing from his reading. “Can’t be letting her forget who owns her. My method worked didn't it? She was compliant for you, and gave you just what you wanted without a fight. In fact, wasn’t she a bit happy to see you Steve?”

“She did-”

“Then you are welcome.” The soldier cut off his friend, flipping the page. Steve’s brows furrowed a bit but let it drop, making his way to the office he had set up in the back of the house, behind a locked door.

Upstairs your eyes sprang open as soon as Steve shut your door, letting out a relieved whoosh that you were being left along, your body still so sensitive to touch of any kind. Suga shifted closer with a soft meow, head butting you. You scooped her closer, once more burying your face into your cat's soft fur and letting it keep you quiet while a sob broke in your chest, muffling the sound.

You can’t live like this and you were running out of time before they actually did make you pregnant.

#the perfect life #non con #knife play #dark steve rogers #dark bucky barnes #dark steve rogers x reader #dark bucky barnes x reader #amber writes #sweater writes

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anywherebuthere · 3 years

Text

I had a dream about you last night || j.p.

James Potter x fem!reader

“Even when you’re gone, you are all that haunts my dreams.”

Wordcount: 1969

A/N: Happy (belated) birthday to the only man ever <33 I am illiterate, so I had a mental breakdown writing this <3 please enjoy!! special thanks to @anchoeritic and @gxtitobxby for supporting me via discord and for making fun of the time I got hit by a car :)) @skullsontess07 I finally posted it pls don’t hurt me <33

Warnings: alcohol, allusions to sex, death, bad writing, especially towards the end. barely proofread because I don’t believe in mistakes <3 /j

Please do not repost this!! I do not consent to this piece of fiction being published on any other site besides tumblr unless it by my doing.

The ticking of the grandfather clock thrummed in James’ ears as he tipped back the empty bottle, the smell of whiskey heavy in the air. He leaned his head against the cold surface of the white plaster wall, scanning the textured ceiling with misty eyes. His home, still half furnished, was riddled with traces of something better forgotten. Even with the weight of alcohol on his breath, his mind is running with memories and daydreams of her.

He closed his eyes, forcing the imagery away. In the distance, a train chugged on, its lone whistle echoing in the night, and James can’t help but be pulled into an uneasy slumber, memories still flashing through his mind like a broken film.

“Prongs, you git! We’re going to miss the train if you don’t hurry your fat arse.” Remus shouted, frustration seeping into his humoured voice.

“Relax Moony, we’ll be fine,” he replied, breath heaving slightly from sprinting across Platform 9¾, just narrowly having avoided knocking over an elderly witch.

As the four boys approached the entrance of the cart, the train’s departing whistle blared. They boarded quickly, though not without receiving a glare from a crew member.

Hurrying down the corridor, the boys glanced through every compartment window, though each appeared to be full of giggling sixth years. That is, with the exception of one.

Near the back end of the Hogwarts Express, was, at last, an empty compartment save for a singular figure slumped against the window. With no other choice of seating, the gaggle of boys slipped in silently, Sirius and Remus snagging the seats opposite to the slumbering girl, their pinkies linked as they whispered conspiratorially amongst themselves.

Peter, as adverse to the female race as ever, took the seat closest to the door, leaving James to be wedged between the mousy blonde and the stranger, careful not to bump her with his broad shoulders.

The train ride was filled with hushed whispers as the marauders discussed this year's prank for the welcoming feast, a customary tradition they held sacred, as to “start the year right.”

As they began going over the mechanisms of their plan, they felt the train begin to swerve as it approached a sharp turn. The compartment shook slightly and James suddenly felt a weight on his right side.

He stiffened, glancing over to see that the girl’s head had lulled over from the compartment wall and onto his shoulder. James recognized her as a student in their year. Y/N, who had tutored Regulus the same day that James had helped Sirius prank him as petty revenge for a now long-forgotten argument.

And well, perhaps James had wanted her to notice him for once. If so, it had been a successful endeavour as he remembered the way her face had contorted in anger, though her attention had remained just as elusive for the remainder of their fifth year. So… perhaps not so successful.

He flushed at the memory. She was now even prettier than the year prior.

“Oh? Is that a blush we see, Moony?” Sirius taunted, nudging Remus with his elbow as he snickered at James’ scowl.

“Bloody hell, piss off, will you? You’ll wake her–”

He felt her suddenly stir beside him, brows creasing as though on the cusp of consciousness.

James held his breath.

The moment passed as Y/N nudged her face further into the crook of his neck before settling back into a peaceful slumber.

Perhaps he wouldn’t need the prank to start the year right this time around.

It seemed that sixth year would be a good one for James.

In the early morning of a mid-March day, an unlikely scene unfolded between the shelves of Hogwarts’ library. There he sat beside a bleary Y/N, voice still drowsy with sleep as she read aloud a passage from the Herbology textbook perched between them.

Initially, James had detested the thought of having to wake up at such an ungodly hour for the sake of a project. No other time had fit, not with his Quidditch practices and her absurd number of tutoring sessions.

Though now, as the early rays of sunrise filtered through the library’s mullioned windows onto her skin, James thinks that there is nowhere else he would rather be.

He thinks this moment will be ingrained in his mind forever.

“–once a century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers able to attract the unwary.” she paused to yawn, eyebags evident as she turned to meet James’ gaze. She scrunched her nose and he swore he swooned at the very sight. “Are you even listening to me, Potter?”

“I’m always listening to you,” he replied, tilting his head. She grins in response and he notices just how beautiful it is.

She shifted her gaze back to the textbook lying in their laps, picking up where she had left off.

“Its scent adapts–”

James leaned forward suddenly, capturing her lips in his. The book fell closed between them.

Immediately, almost though by instinct, Y/N reciprocates, moving her lips gently against his as her hand cups his cheek. James finds himself gripping that hand as his other wraps around her waist, finding the small of her back and pulling her impossibly close against him.

She tasted of cherry chapstick and peppermint bubblegum, and though there was nothing particularly special about those flavours, on her, James swears that he could drown in his intoxication alone. Her perfume wafts through the air, the scent causing him to groan against her mouth.

When they separated at last, his head was swimming in euphoria, his expression dazed. Y/N blinked up at him, sleep wiped entirely from her expression.

“Its scent adapts itself during these times to attract said unwary.” she finishes, sounding breathless still, voice trailing off as James began to laugh hysterically.

She rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly.

When James still couldn’t stop laughing, Y/N gripped his haphazardly tied red and gold tie, using it to pull his soft lips against hers once more and he was sure in his mind that there would no one else for him.

Beneath a great oak tree in the courtyard lay two figures. Under the tree’s twisting branches, they hid in its cool shade from the sweltering afternoon sun. Few places aside from the castle offered shelter from June’s blistering heat and as the semester approached its end, they finally allowed themselves to rest in the gentle breeze.

James was leaning against the thick trunk while Y/N’s head lay in his lap. His elbow was resting on her abdomen as she drew on his hand, doodling intricate flower designs alongside some… less desirable things.

He felt his heart swell with joy as her laughter filled the summer air and before he could catch himself, he blurted out the thought that had been weighing in the back of his mind since they had started dating.

“Do you ever think about your future?"

He felt the scratch of her muggle pen slow, as though pausing in thought.

"I want to grow old and die surrounded with people I love, knowing I lived a long and fulfilling life. You know, typical boring stuff," she replied after a moment's consideration. Her eyes twinkled with more, though Y/N never indulged in half-thought-out plans.

"What about you?" she questioned with the tip of her head. James didn’t need time to think about it. He had known his answer since that fateful September morning when she had slept on his shoulder throughout the entirety of the train ride.

"I don't care what my future is as long as you're there" he answers truthfully.

Y/N flushed, her ears heated. She looked away, the corners of her lips turning up in the barest hint of a smile.

James freed his hand from her loose grasp, hooking her chin to look back towards him before leaning in to kiss her.

Even after all these months, he relished in the taste of her lips. He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of the feeling.

He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of her.

The sun was setting in the west on a quiet evening, its golden rays shining on the slick skin of two lovers as they untangled themselves from the sheets, unable to hold in their laughter when one got his foot stuck in the knot of their crochet blanket.

The air hung heavy with the scent of sweat and endorphins as Y/N laid back, her body still bare, not bothering to cover it.

James propped his elbow beside her head, careful not to press on her spread-out hair, his face filled with ecstasy and pure bliss.

He will never get used to the sight of her in his bed, giggling as the sun reflected off her silky skin. The image of her underneath him is cemented in his mind, permanently lodged there as solid as concrete. He knows now with absolute certainty that there would be no one else for him.

James’ smile widened further as he nudged his nose into the crook of her neck, leaning in to place a kiss there when his vision blurred.

It was no longer sunset. Rather, the two of them were now enveloped in the dark of night and James is certain he hears the echo of a familiar spell ring off in the distance.

He pulls away from Y/N’s neck.

She was no longer shaking with laughter, but rather, writhing in pain. There were lacerations all across her torso and James felt something sticky underneath his hands.

They were laying in a pool of her blood.

Panic clawed at his throat and though he had never been averse to the sight of blood, yours was an exception. The taste of bile clung to his tongue.

“No... No no no no no,” he whispered in disbelief. Swivelling his head, outside the window, he spots a cloaked figure wearing a mask of silver disapparate.

“No!”

Grasping for the wand strapped to his side, he murmurs a healing spell, gasping for breath when the wounds remain open. His head was spiralling as Y/N shook her head almost imperceptibly, grabbing at his wrist with a shaking hand.

Carved into her arm was the word “MUDBLOOD” and James felt his vision turn red, suddenly hyper-aware of the blood pumping through his veins.

“James…” she rasped. He gripped her shaking hand.

“Why isn’t it working? Why?” he cried, tears streaming down his face, struggling to breathe.

“Whatever our souls are made of,” she gasped, blood spurting out of her mouth. Her beautiful mouth, the one that tasted of cherries and peppermint, was covered in thick, crimson blood. “you and I are connected.”

“No! Stop with this rubbish, you’re not going to die!” he sobbed, gripping her bloodied hand like a vice. She continued as though he hadn’t even spoken.

Perhaps she was too far gone to hear him.

“Wh-whatever is beyond this life,” violent ruby coated her mouth as she coughed, blood splattering onto her smooth skin. “Promise me, y-you’ll find me again.”

“I promise,” he cried, sobs racking through his body.

But she was already gone.

James woke with a start, gasping for breath with the taste of blood and “promise” still coating his tongue. He was alone in a house built for two.

In his fitful sleep, he had knocked over the empty bottle of whiskey beside him.

She had hated whiskey.

Had.

A fresh wave of misery washed over James, adding to the dull pain that never seemed to go away, throbbing through him as naturally as the blood in his veins. It wasn’t enough that she existed still within every corner of their shared home.

Even in his dreams, he is haunted by her memory.

ㄧ

@catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

#james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter angst #james potter fluff #harry potter imagine #james potter fic #james potter x reader angst #james potter x reader fluff #james potter x muggleborn #james potter x muggleborn reader #caz's top notch fic recs

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waithyuck · 4 years

Text

PUPPY

pairing: werewolf!lee jeno x reader (f) *halloweenie special*

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 4k

warnings: mature content, excessive explicit language, sexy times (meaning sexual content), I used the word ‘penis’ ONCE and only ONCE, mentions of a knot, knotting (I’m sorry), slight impreg kink, cumming inside, unprotected sex, blood, aggressive behavior, other stupid cliche werewolf things that are most definitely prob in hundreds of fics, jeno does NOT like being called a puppy even tho he’s called it oNCe

a/n: the first release of the dreamie halloweenie series! I hope this one sets the tone for what’s to come 👀 sorry to anyone who hates werewolf cliches and for the extreme lack of any substance or plot lmaoooo anyway I hope y’all enjoy reading

| next >

~10/10/2020~

~~~~

“are you cool with jeno staying the night?” your brother shot out, startling you as he spoke, not even looking at you as he spread too much peanut butter on a slice of bread nestled in his hand.

you looked up from where you were sitting at the kitchen table to face your brother, not saying anything in reply as you got lost in your thoughts.

jeno was an oddball. he was nice and he wasn’t creepy or even that weird, he just had his moments that were just well, odd. he was your brother’s friend of about six years; they met in their second year of high school and have been inseparable ever since. because of that, you have also been surrounded by jeno in all that time as well.

in the first couple years, you didn’t notice anything strange about him. he seemed like a normal and healthy young teenage boy. he was incredibly handsome, so of course your poor soul developed a small crush on him that only grew as the years progressed.

since you paid such close attention to him, you could pick out the oddities in his behavior occasionally pretty well. just from that, you’ve deducted that his sense of smell was almost god-like, like he could smell things that a normal person couldn’t.

now, you supposed that it wasn’t that weird that he had a good sniffer; there were probably tons of other people in the world with the same ability...but it wasn't just his sense of smell that had you curious.

sometimes he would act strangely at night; not often, but enough to have you questioning it. he would either disappear completely without a word or come up with a half-assed excuse to leave and then run away like a frightened animal.

it was just plain odd...and you couldn't get over it, no matter how much you tried to will yourself not to think about it.

snapping out of your stupor, you felt your heart jump at the thought of jeno coming over, even though he’s been here countless times, but you didn’t let it show and you shrugged your shoulders.

“it’s not like I have a choice in the matter,” you stated truthfully, looking down to pick at your nails. “you would have just said he was coming over anyway if I said no.”

your brother smiled at you, beaming as he placed the bread down and patted your head.

“you know me so well, y/n.”

you rolled your eyes, shoving him away. “yeah,” you retorted, slightly annoyed. “It’s not like you’re my brother, or anything.”

he didn't say anything further and you left him alone with his sandwich, getting up and making your way to your room where you could successfully hide for the rest of the night. before your cold make it far, you heard your brother yell something about jeno coming around 8, but you didn't say anything back and just minded your own business all the way upstairs to your room.

you pathetically holed yourself up in your dark room for about four hours, only coming out to quietly sneak to the bathroom and then you would go back into hiding once again.

even when you got word that there was pizza downstairs, you ignored it and continued to watch horror story narrations on youtube.

you just couldn't deal with being in the presence of your long time crush today. it took everything in your power to stop yourself from going downstairs and being potentially spotted, but you managed to pull through successfully and be a pathetic hermit in your room.

it was around 3 a.m. when you were finally finished with watching youtube videos, and you felt gross. you supposed that the two boys would be sound asleep by now, considering your brother never ever sacrificed his beauty sleep for anyone. you grabbed some clean clothes and gathered them in your arms before trudging tiredly to the bathroom, swinging open the door without a second thought, not realizing that the light was already on when you got there.

your heart almost jumped out of your chest as your eyes bulged out of their sockets.

“holy fuck!” you screeched as you took in the sight of jeno, in the middle of the bathroom completely naked, stroking his painfully hard cock right before your eyes. you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the show and you accidentally discovered that there was something not right about the way it looked...

your mouth fell agape and you barely heard him gasp loudly before trying to cover himself with the closest towel.

“jesus christ, y/n!” he yelled back, both of you not even considering your sleeping brother that was just three rooms over.

your eyes stayed glued to where he was covering himself with the towel, still thinking about the oddity of his dick. it seemed to be swelling at the base, which was definitely not normal for a human penis to do.

“what the fuck is wrong with your dick?” you blurted out unapologetically, causing a blush to cover his entire face and neck. you tore your eyes from his covered crotch to look at his eyes, which were now a shocking shade of bright yellow. you jumped back, dropping your clothes on the floor as you watched him breath heavily, most likely trying to calm himself down the same as you.

“oh my god, what the actual fuck is happening?” you murmured out loud, your eyes wide and never leaving his own as he stood silently in front of you. “am i dreaming? am i fucking high?” you tried to reason out as to why you were seeing what you're seeing, but jeno didn't give you much time to think before he spoke.

“you’re not dreaming,” his voice came out low, almost like a growl, and you felt your heart freeze up. “I dunno if you’re high...but what you're seeing is as real as it gets.”

your mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping out of water, trying to formulate the words to say next. your brain literally couldn't think of anything except his abnormally large and weird dick.

“okay…” you trailed off, your hands coming up to rest over your racing heart. “so then I’ll ask again: what the fuck is up with your dick??” and then you quickly added, “and your eyes??? I'm so confused right now, jeno.”

he sighed heavily and turned around, giving you a full view of his ass before he gathered his clothes to get dressed and cover himself. you really should have looked away, but your eyes wouldn’t listen to your internal screaming no matter how hard you physically tried to stop staring.

when he pulled his shorts on he finally turned to face you once more, forgoing a shirt much to your dismay (but really, you were dying on the inside at the sight of his abs). he stared at you for a second, his eyes back to their natural deep brown color.

“...there's a lot we need to talk about.” was all he said before grabbing your wrist in his scorchingly warm hand and dragging you out of the bathroom and down to your room. you didn’t protest and you let him practically drag you all the way there, closing the door behind him and guiding you to plop down on your bed. jeno walked to the opposite side of the room, distancing himself from you as much as possible.

“um..so,” he started hesitantly, trying to form his words correctly. “I’m uh, I'm a werewolf.”

your eyes bulged out of your head in disbelief, but you didn't say anything in reply. you both stared at each other across the space of your bedroom, not uttering a single word.

at first you were ready to call him crazy; there was absolutely no way that it was true. but then you thought about his eyes, his sense of smell...and then thought about his cock...holy shit wait, was that a fucking knot??

“um, yeah, it was…” you heard him say suddenly. you jumped out of your skin at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to reply. did you say that out loud by accident?

“you did.”

okay fuck, you needed to stop thinking and pull yourself together. what were you supposed to say to that? ‘oh cool, your cock has a knot and you’re a fucking werewolf, that’s super, jeno!’

jeno went on to explain the ins and outs of being a werewolf to you over the next twenty minutes, the small pink blush on his cheeks never truly leaving as he went into detail about everything. he even corrected certain cliches that were not true, a scowl making its way to his features with each inaccuracy you brought up.

“so...my brother doesn’t know?” you questioned quietly, looking down at your lap.

“no one knows besides you and my family.” he confirmed, and you looked up again to see him lean against the wall behind his back, eyes gazing sharply at you.

you panicked slightly, thinking that holy crap, now that you know, he's gonna have to kill you so the secret doesn't get out.

“oh my god,” you whimpered out, “are you going to kill me now?”

you watched his eyes widen before he choked, coughing violently before composing himself. he straightened his posture, but still didn't make any move toward you, still keeping his distance.

“what?!” he practically shouted, startling you. “of course not! why would I do that??”

you felt your face grow hot and you looked away once again, wringing your hands together on your lap. you shrugged, murmuring quietly, “i dunno...I thought you'd kill me to keep the secret, well, you know, a secret…”

you heard him sigh exasperatedly before hearing his soft voice grace your ears from across the room.

“I don't kill people, y/n.” he sounded slightly sad, and you then felt bad about assuming something so terrible of him. “the only time I kill is when my instincts become too much to control, and I snap.” his head hung low, but he quickly added. “but I’ve never actually killed a person, even if my instincts were screaming at me to.”

you tried to wrap your mind around what his wolf instincts were like; he only briefly touched on that topic earlier, seeming like he didn't want to talk about it too much. you being yourself, of course you had to pry.

“so like, what you’re saying is,” you started, your hand cupping your chin in thought as you pondered over your thoughts. “that if you were to like, hypothetically, snap right now and go all feral, you would want to kill me?” the question came out inflected as a statement, but you nonetheless awaited his answer patiently as you took in the sight of his face going through about five different emotions in the short span of a couple seconds.

“I don’t think…” he trailed off, looking down at the floor while clenching his fists. “I don’t think killing you would be my first instinct,” he looked up at you, his eyes blazing a slight yellow again as he seemingly stared into your soul. “...if you catch my drift.”

at first you were completely confused, not sure what other instincts he could express while being feral, but then it all clicked and it had your body heating up at the thought.

“oh.” you simply retorted, your eyes glazing over at the implication of him pinning you down and taking you as he pleased. “oh, fuck. you’re fuckin’ serious?”

his eyes were dark as he drank you in, his nostrils flaring slightly as he subtly sniffed the air between the both of you. dear god, you hoped that he couldn’t smell the sudden arousal that consumed you. you watched his eyes glow into a bright yellow and you felt your instincts screaming at you to run, but you held his gaze as he let a low growl escape his mouth.

“y/n,” he said, low and strained as he tried to fight his animal instincts. “you need to leave if you don’t want this, right now.” his words were final, no room for questioning.

you briefly tried to think it over; what would actually happen if you stayed and let him have you? you could probably die, first and foremost, but you shook that thought away even though it was a very real and serious possibility. you couldn’t deny your arousal at the whole thing, being taken like a bitch in heat by a guy you’ve been thirsting over for a while now. you may not get the chance to fuck a werewolf again, so you quickly made your decision.

“I’m…” you trailed off, dragging your gaze down to his neck and collarbones where you could make out the sweat forming on his perfect skin. “I’m staying, jeno.” you spoke softly to him, watching his brow furrow in confusion before smoothing out again.

you made your way to him and he stiffened up, watching your every move like a predator as you tentatively stopped in front of his panting form. reaching a hand up, you caressed his face, your breathing shaky as you leaned in closer.

“you can have me, puppy.” you threw in the last little jab with that sudden nickname just for fun, your heart soaring at the sound of the deep growl he let out upon hearing it. you fought the smile off your face as he practically pounced on you, pushing you over to the bed and pinning your body underneath his in one swift movement.

“I’m a puppy, huh?” he questioned darkly, his glowing eyes roaming over your face before his head dipped down to nose at your throat. you whimpered softly as his teeth nibbled on your sensitive skin, earning a satisfied growl from him.

you felt your shorts stick to your core from how insanely soaked you had become, and you grew hot at the idea of him pulling them down to find that you were, in fact, pantieless. he had your wrists pinned down against the mattress, not allowing you to touch him much to your annoyance. you tried to struggle against his supernaturally strong hold, but was met with a deep snarl in response. you immediately grew pliant underneath him out of pure instinct.

he pulled back, sharp canines prominent in his mouth as he fixed you with his glowing stare, red swirling with yellow in his bright irises.

“don’t fucking move,” he spat, his voice coming out low and gutteral, causing a flood of your own arousal to escape you down below. his nostrils flared for the second time that night, and he breathed in deeply at the scent of your wet and begging cunt. “be a good girl and take what I give you.”

the statement was final, and you barely had time to nod before he was tearing your t-shirt in two, biting the skin of your shoulder. his sharper teeth did not sink deep into your flesh, but when he drug the canines across your skin, you felt them rip you open. you let out what could be considered a poorly concealed scream, but it came forth as more of a moan as you felt hot blood trickle down your arm.

your shirt was in ribbons, and he looked extremely pleased as he took in the beautiful sight of your naked breasts, no bra in his way. he watched as your chest heaved up and down in anticipation, and he released your wrist to gently trail both of his hand over your body.

“your tits are so pretty,” he murmured, diving down to take one of your nipples into his mouth. he worked your other boob with one of his hands, kneading it and flicking your sensitive nipple.

your back arched into his touch, and you tried your best to stay as quiet as possible in fear of your brother hearing you.

he suckled hard; nibbling your nipple and dragging his teeth along it, causing shivers to run up your spine and your core to clench around nothing. your shorts were without a doubt ruined at this point.

your nails scratched down his back and he continued to ravage your chest, alternating between both of your breasts and teasing your sensitive buds with no remorse. it felt like hours of play, but eventually he pulled back to roughly grip the fabric of your shorts and tear them down your legs, exposing your dripping core to his hungry eyes.

you whined as he stared at you, reaching your arms out towards his own pants, wanting to see his cock again now that you were laying there, desperate and pouting for it.

his eyes shot to your face, smirking as he watched your brow furrow and your lips purse, your hands trying to grab at him from your place on the bed.

he didn’t allow you to pull his shorts down for him; instead he hooked his own thumbs in the waistband and pulled them down slowly, exposing his cock inch by inch before it finally sprung out, slapping against his stomach proudly.

your mouth watered at the sight of him once again and you moved to try to sit up, but didn’t get very far. he grasped your non-bleeding shoulder and roughly shoved you against the mattress once again, not saying anything. the stare he gave you oozed enough dominance for you to clearly get the message that he was trying to send.

jeno didn’t waste any time spreading your thighs open, two of his fingers immediately swiping through your embarrassingly wet slit before easing inside your tight hole. the stretch burned at first, considering he was starting you off with two fingers instead of one, but you welcomed the slight pain that mixed with the pleasure of him reaching up with his thumb to graze over your throbbing clit.

jeno thrusted his fingers into you gently at first, gradually picking up the pace as he went along. before you knew it he was adding a third finger, stretching your more than you’ve been stretched before.

you gasped at the feeling, your back arching off the bed as you cried out while he started finger fucking you with earnest.

“shhh, baby,” he said quietly, his movements never ceasing. “just gotta open you up for me, make sure you can take my knot.”

you held back another moan at that, thinking of how his cock would stretch you open, and how full you would feel with his knot nestled inside you.

he abruptly pulled his fingers from you, causing your back to arch again as you protested the loss of stimulation. his strength amazed you, and with one hand on your belly he pinned you down completely, sucking on the fingers of his other lewdly while stating you in the eyes.

after licking his fingers clean, (which caused heat to crawl it’s way down your belly), he kissed you sloppily on the mouth once again before gripping your waist and roughly flipping you over onto your knees.

your chest was flush against the mattress as well as your face, and your hips were lifted high in the air and you could feel the heat radiating off of him as he positioned himself behind you.

his nails drug down your sides and he gripped one of your hips with his hand, using his other to position himself at your leaking entrance. you wiggled your hips in anticipation, whining as he drug the head through your folds before slowly sinking inside you.

your fingers gripped the pillows as he bottomed out, his knot already slowly forming at the base of his shaft. it stretched you ever so slightly at the entrance of your core, and you whimpered out in pleasure as he started thrusting in and out.

the small form of his knot caught on your entrance with each precise thrust, and you were finding it very difficult to stay quiet. jeno’s breaths were heavy and every so often he would let out a soft growl as he felt his tip pound gently into your cervix.

your small whimpers were short and staggered, escaping your mouth with each thrust, which spurred him on to create a faster and harsher pace. he leaned over your back and didn’t relent as his cock punished you pussy, and when you let out a cry that was just a little bit too loud, he shoved your face right into your pillow to silence you.

“shut up,” he panted, a rumble low in his chest following his words. “just fucking take it.”

you nodded your head in response to the best of your ability, biting your lip to keep quiet as the presence of his hand left the back of your head.

he seemed to be getting close now, and you could feel yourself teetering on the edge as well. it was uncommon for you to cum without any clitoral stimulation, and you were amazed at his ability to reach all of the most pleasurable spots inside you.

you felt your stomach tightening up and you gasped sharply when you felt his cock press right against your sweet spot, making you reach your high almost instantly.

you clamped around him, barely registering that he buried himself completely inside you and was now stretching you to the max with his fully developed knot. the pain of the stretch only intensified your orgasm, which had you screaming into your pillow to muffle your cries of ecstasy.

jeno growled loudly as he came shortly after, biting the back of your neck aggressively and painting your walls with his cum, emptying completely inside of you while his knot kept a single drop from escaping.

he withdrew his teeth from you, surprised that it didn’t break your skin, and gently moved the two of you to lay on your sides as you basked in the afterglow of what just occurred.

your chest heaved as you fought to catch you breath, you pussy still stretched to its limit as you laid with him. you reached an arm around to caress his face, a small show of affection as you smiled in bliss.

after catching your breath, you sat in silence for a bit, just bathing in each other’s warmth, before you had to go and open your big mouth again.

“so your knot is supposed to like, plug me up?” you questioned, your voice still sounding slightly out of breath as you panted. “to make sure I get like, hypothetically, pregnant or whatever?”

he groaned in response and gripped your hips tightly, his hips bucking and causing his still painfully hard cock to sharply jab against your sensitive insides, making you yelp.

“dear god, y/n,” he whined, his nails digging into your skin. “don’t say things like that, fuck.”

“oh, so you like that idea?” you teased, turning your head to try to look at him to the best of your ability considering your current position. “fucking me full of babies?”

his eyes stared down at you intensely, the color of his irises brightening up as he growled lowly at you. he suddenly gripped your hips and turned you both over, his body completely laying on your own as you were pressed against the mattress on your stomach.

“keep talking, y/n,” he growled out lowly, his hips pressing tightly against your ass, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. “I’ll fuck you again right now, and give you my fucking babies.”

he couldn’t see you, but you smiled contently, preparing yourself for another intense round with this beast of a man. there was a small chance that you would actually get pregnant, considering the IUD you had…but the thought of it had you ready to go at it again.

in some fucked up way, you were content with this, and you threw your hips up to grind back against him, grinning even wider as he pinned your body down even harder.

jeno fucked you like an animal until the sun came up, and your brother was none the wiser.

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #neothestars #jeno smut #lee jeno smut #jeno #lee jeno #nct #nct dream #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct drabbles #nct dream drabbles #halloweenie special

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dragon-kazansky · 3 years

Text

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Masterlist]

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Part 2

Race day. The whole track was buzzing with excitement. Over the last two weeks, Zemo had been working hard and improving his car. Between all that, he was thinking about you.

It was strange how someone you met once, and hardly knew, made such an impact on your life. He wondered if you got the ticket. Would you even come?

He stood by his car. People had come to see him, but his eyes were only looking for one person. You had yet to make an appearance. Disappointment hung heavy in his chest.

Tony Stark stood across the way from him. He was chatting to his fans, smiling smugly and relishing in all the attention he was receiving.

If Zemo knew one thing, he wasn't going to let Stark win today. He glares at him as he takes a seat. He sighs. He had hoped you would have come. The thought of you helps cool his thoughts of the other driver.

It won't be long until they are called to the starting lane.

Zemo gets up and grabs his helmet, thinking to make a few last minute checks before they're needed. He would deal with the fact you were a once in a lifetime meeting and get on with the day. The disappointed had settled hard.

He turns his back and was about to make his way to his crew when a voice stopped him.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

He turns around quickly, relieved at the sound of your voice. He grins when his eyes land on you.

"You did, but you're here now. Though, I think you owe me for keeping me waiting."

You smile. "I'm sorry. Getting here was a hassle. I was worried I was going miss the race entirely."

He couldn't stop smiling.

"I'm glad you made it."

The cheering behind you caught your attention. You turned to see Stark climbing into his car. The crowd around him was being asked to disperse.

"I won't let him win today."

You turn to see Zemo looking at you, completely ignoring what's happening behind you.

"He really riles you up, doesn't he?"

"How could you tell?" He asked, not meaning for a reply, but surprised by your response a the same.

"You're clenching your fists and jaw. Is he, like, your enemy?"

Zemo gives a heartless chuckle.

"Something like that."

You stepped closer to him and smiled softly. This closely, he could smell the fragrance you had put on today. You leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"A good luck charm. I'll be cheering for you."

You're not sure where your bravery had come from, but you wanted to do something to get his mind off Stark. He looked a little surprised, but he looked more smug than that.

"My own little good luck charm? Perhaps things will be different today."

You smile as you step back. The drivers are being called to the start line. Zemo doesn't quite want to leave you yet, but duty calls.

"That's your stand," he says, pointing to the seating area above him. "I'll be back here when the race ends, meet me."

"Alright."

Zemo has someone help you up to your seat in the stands. He gets into his car as you go, looking up once before driving his car over to the start.

You don't take your eyes off his car.

That tense atmosphere seems to fall over the whole racetrack. It was just like last time. Only there was something more here for you. You were here for Zemo this time, at his request.

The silence was thick. All you could hear was your breathing, and then that beautiful sound. Those engines revving. It was as if at that moment you forgot how to breathe.

They were off.

You were already clutching your seat.

You had a little bit of research on Helmut Zemo. He had won a couple of races before, but had never beaten Tony Stark. There was a rivalry there. This had been going on a few months. Zemo was insistent on beating him at least once.

Maybe, just maybe, today will be that day.

Your eyes flick to the screen where the cars will be picked up now they're out of sight. You can feel your stomach dropping as you watch eagerly. Zemo and Stark are once again locked in battle with each other. They are ready so far ahead of the others and you wonder how they do that so fast. You bite your lip as you watch the purple car.

This would mean so much to Zemo if he beat Stark. It would put Tony down a few notches, maybe then he wouldn't be so high and mighty.

You have no idea what happened. It was as if you suddenly zoned back in to the race. Attention brought back to the screen at the sound of screeching tyres.

You tense up.

Luckily no damage had been done, but both Stark and Zemo had spiralled out of control, both cars now facing the wrong way. You could see them on the screen.

The others will catch up soon. They don't have much time to keep their places if they're going to get back into the race.

Stark's car sparks to life. You feel your heart drop as he takes off again.

Zemo cannot get his car to start again.

Banging his hand against the steering wheel he glares after Stark. Another race he will not win. No doubt Tony will have something to say later.

You can only watch as Helmut climbs put of his car and walks off the tracks. All the other cars speed past him. His car won't be crossing the finishing line today.

You don't care about the rest of the race, you leave tour seat and hurry down to the barricade. You would wait for Zemo like you said you would.

He doesn't return to the stop until the race is over, Stark's name being hollered from every direction. He comes over with a hard look on his face, jaw clenched in anger. His helmet was in his hand, hair slightly messy from it's removal.

He stalks over to where you are waiting. He doesn't even look at you as he drops the helmet and sits down, head in his hands.

"Zemo?"

He doesn't say anything. He just sits there and sighs. Your lucky kiss didn't bring him much luck.

There was no way you could be impressed with his skills after that. He had wanted to impress you today. He had wanted to cross that finish line for you. He failed.

He swears it's Stark's fault they collided like that. Now his team had to go fetch the abandoned car and fix it.

One day. One day he would beat that man.

"Zemo?"

He lowers his hands and turns his head to the side, looking at you with gentle eyes. He has a little smile on his face, but you could tell he was utterly defeated.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" You ask, confused by the sudden apology.

"For wasting my lucky charm."

You chuckle softly and sit down on the tarmac by his chair.

"It's not a big deal. I'm just glad you're alright. I know how dangerous this can be."

He nods. People can die in this job.

"You have been doing some research?"

"Yes. I wanted to understand your world better." You look down sheepishly. It felt strange confessing that to him.

"My world is fast," he says, voice dropping in volume.

You both ignore the cheering happening in the distance. Tony was receiving his reward as his team parks his car opposite you.

"I like the fast lane, I found out. I'd like to stay in it a little longer."

Zemo's gaze landed on you.

"Would you like to join me for a drink?" He asks, wanting to take his mind off the race.

"I would love to," you smile up at him.

"Wait for me by the gate, I'll pick you up once I've changed."

You nod and stand up. You make your way to the exit of the racetrack, waiting by the gate. Zemo goes to get out of his racing gear.

As you wait, Stark makes his exit. He spots you, grinning.

"Waiting for someone?"

"Yes," you reply curtly.

"You're wasting your time on him. You know that? Not only is he a danger on the track, but off it too." Tony peered at you over his shades, "consider that a warning."

"I think I can judge him for myself, but thank you."

Tony shrugs and drives off.

The nerve of that man! Granted, he didn't sound he meant ill feelings as he said it, but that fact he even felt the need to say that angered you. Sure, you hadn't known Zemo all that well, and everything you did know you got off the internet, but you felt more than capable to make a judgement yourself.

Tony was out of sight now.

You turned when you heard another car approach. It was a different one from the one he had two weeks ago. You smile as he pulls up in front of you. You climb in.

Zemo drives you both away from the track.

"What happened to the race car?"

"My crew will take it back and look at the damage. I'll check in with them tomorrow. I have some changes to make to it."

"What happens now? I mean, since you didn't cross the line," you ask, wanting to know more.

"I'll be set back a bit, but I'll overcome it. One day I will beat Stark. His winning streak will have to end at some point, and I would very much like to do it before the racing season ends."

"How long do you have?"

"There are three more races before the season ends."

"I believe in you."

For some reason those words set off something inside of him. He glances at you briefly as a smile spreads across his face. Perhaps it was fate that brought you to him. He would like to think that.

Zemo knee exactly where to take you. A good quiet place for drinks.

The bar was nice. Nothing flashy or loud, just a casual place for drinks. Zemo and yourself sat in the back, out of immediate eyesight of everyone else. He wanted to spend this time with you, and only you.

"What else did you learn in your research?" He asks, wanting to kick off the conversation.

"You've only been racing a handful of years, only being racing professional a few months, and yet you're super talented on the track. I had to look up some of the racers, most of which have been racing professionally for years. Yet, you're up there with them," you say, sounding impressed.

"I'm good at what I do, no doubt about that."

"How did you get into racing?"

"I love cars. Back home, I have a collection of classic models. You have only seen two of the cars I own. One day I decided to give racing a go. The thrill that runs through your veins when you're speeding around that track, it is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Adrenaline takes over once your foot is on the pedal. All you see is the track ahead."

You smile as you listen.

"I could get used to going to races."

Zemo looks at you with soft eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I would very much like it if you would."

"I can't guarantee I can be at them all. I have to work too. My job isn't nearly as cool as yours though."

"How about this, for every race you come watch, I take you out for drinks after," he offered.

"Are you... asking me out?"

"Only if you attend the races," he states.

You look down at your drink.

"I'll see what I can do, I suppose."

He chuckles, "I'll take it."

"So, there's only three races left, right?"

"Yes," he confirms.

"You have to win all three to beat Stark this season?"

"Yes."

"Can you do it?"

Zemo looks at you with focused eyes. His lips pulled into a smug grin.

"I'm going to do it."

"When is the next race?"

"Two weeks. They are two weeks apart each."

"Right." You read that online. "What's the plan from here. How do you spend the time between races?"

"Improving. Tomorrow I will meet with my crew and see the damages done to my car. I will do whatever I have to do to get it back in top form. I will improve it and test it. Over and over if I have to. I will beat Stark."

You smile.

"I know you can do it. You can."

"Well, if you keep saying it, then I know I can too," he winks at you. You chuckle and try to hide your smile by sipping your drink.

This was nice. You would get to do this again as long as you attended the rest of the races. You made a silent promise to do whatever you could to attend the remaining races. Work be damned!

When you finished your drink, Zemo drove you back to your hotel. Much like last time, you both lingered in the car before you went inside.

"Would you like to come to the garage tomorrow? I could show you what we do behind the scenes," he offers. If he was being genuinely honest, be just wanted to spend more time with you.

"Sure. I'm free tomorrow, but then I'll have to catch the next train home."

"I'm honoured you went to all the trouble to come see me race again," he smiled.

"You invited me. I wasn't going to pass up the chance to see you again," you blurted out.

You sit there in shock. Zemo looks extremely proud and smug.

"I mean-"

"No, no. Don't say any more," he laughs.

You're a blushing mess as you climb put of his car.

"See you tomorrow then?"

You just nod and head inside, embarrassed beyond belief. You can't believe you said that.

Zemo drives away with a smile.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb

#helmut zemo x reader #zemo #zemo x reader #helmut zemo #baron helmut zemo #marvel #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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spideyspeaches · 3 years

Text

Vibrations per minute ↬ P.P

AN: Based on this post ehehe. (Also 223 followers?! I’m not crying you are ಥ‿ಥ Beta read by my baby sis @parkerpeter24 <3<3

➳ Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

➳ Warnings: smut (semi public), vibrator, minors dni

➳ WC: 1.8k +

➳ Masterlist || Taglist

Peter Parker was not who he looked to be. He was the kind of guy who impressed parents with his bambi eyes and A+ academic performances, but at the same time, he could be a little shit and tease the fuck out of you. For example-

Bets were a naturally occurring event in the Avengers compound, whether it was between Sam and Bucky about who could eat the most number of marshmallows in one go or between Tony and Peter on who could digest more amount of coffee in the least amount of time (both of which landed them in the medbay).

So maybe placing a bet with your boyfriend may not have been your most intelligent choice. You were a smart woman, you should have known better than to place a bet with Spider-Man, especially if the bet included cardio.

And now you were facing the consequences.

You were sitting in the post mission debriefing room, thighs clenched as you saw your boyfriend trying (and failing) to hide his shit eating smirk. You felt the vibrations inside you once again, a little faster than before. Suppressing a moan, you tried to glare murder at him without letting the others know.

Puffing your cheeks, you slid down the chair, hands folded on your chest. You were pretty sure your cheeks were blood red with the amount of heat you felt.

"Y/N are you sure you're alright? You look a little flushed." Steve asked, shifting to look at you from where he was besides You. He looked concerned.

"Uh- yeah- yeah I'm good. Just exhausted." You stuttered a response. Huffing, you tried to discreetly rub your stomach from clenching. A little whimper escaped your throat, which you quickly suppressed by picking up the glass of water and chugging down some.

Sam looked at you weirdly, the others not paying attention as Nick Fury asked them questions.

"Miss Stark if you think you're going to get out of debriefing because your little boyfriend and father are sitting here, you're wrong. Please pay attention" Fury said, looking at you with his pirate eye, before turning around and muttering, "I swear sometimes they behave like school children."

You gave Bucky and Sam a glare as they snickered.

"I'm sorry, I'll- uhh- I'll pay more attention. I'm just, my tummy hurts." You whimpered, flushing when you realised you had said "tummy" in front of the Avengers.

"Well you better take care of the tummy ache. Don't want you to poo all over here." Peter smirked, your jaw dropping at how rude the little shit was. How unfortunate would it be when he finds out someone had burnt his Kylo Ren special edition figurine?

"Fuck you asshat." You seethe, your glare intensifying when he increased the rate of vibrations using the phone app he was holding under the desk.

"Y/N, Peter, enough of this, now listen to what Pirate here has to say before he asks you to skedaddle back to your nursery." Your dad says, rolling his eyes at your childish banter.

You wanted to get out of there. Right away, because you couldn't take the shudders in between your legs anymore, or you would orgasm right there, in front of everyone.

So to get back at them, you raised your hand like you were in elementary school, asking the teacher for permission, "May I go to the washroom? I wanna poo." You ask innocently, smirking when Fury widened his eyes.

Averting your eyes to your boyfriend, you silently conveyed your message, hoping that he got what you were up to.

Ignoring the laughter of the babies in the Avengers' bodies, you stood up abruptly before he could change the settings anymore, walking stiffly to the bathroom.

"That was kind of mean of me." Peter finally said when you were out of his vision.

"Yeah kid, I would've kicked your ass if I didn't know that she would do it before me." Tony snarked, curling his lips and shaking his head before going back to the dossier in front of him.

"You should go and apologise to her Pete. She looked upset." Steve piped in, his disappointed eyebrowsTM showing their way.

"She's in the toilet and he's a horny teenager, you really want him to go right now?" Sam said.

"Ew Sam, get your gutter brain out of here!" Peter defended, not meaning what he said.

In fact he was going to do just that. The entire time during the mission, you had been teasing him one way or another, whether it was landing in certain poses or just touching him every chance you get.

The bet was just an opportunity for him to get back at you for leaving him hot and bothered, dreaming about you all night in that tiny lingerie with spider prints on them.

“Yeah Sam, get out of here.” Natasha joked. Before he could witness the counter arguments though, he left the room, leaving a very noisy meeting room and a very frustrated Nick Fury.

He found you in the bathroom stalls near the cafeteria. It was the women's bathroom but no one was around this time of the night, so he entered it.

He could hear your moans and pants, your arousal hitting his nostrils as he tried to hyperfixate on you. His jeans suddenly felt strained at his… web shooter area.

Opening the bathroom door, he clenched his fists. You were standing there, vibrator out of you and your finger inside, eyes scrunched as you threw your head back, not even noticing him enter.

"Why are you touching yourself?" He growled, smirking innocently when you jerked up, eyes taking a lustful look that sent his blood rushing south.

"It's your fault. You were the one who made me horny in the middle of those boomers." You gritted.

Your hand was poised on your waist now, legs still spread apart, your pussy on display.

Grabbing you by your ass, he picked you up and slammed you against the wall, kissing your jaw, "Just seeking revenge." He mumbled

"Oh oh Petey- revenge for what?" You moaned, arching your back as he undressed you, grabbing your now unclothed boob and sucking on one nipple, twisting the other with his fingers.

Moaning at the sensation of the cool tiles, you dug your fingers at his back, your wet pussy throbbing for a feel of his dick.

"You did it on purpose didn't you? Showing off during missions?" He sucked at your skin, leaving it tender and brushed, "you know how hot you look while you kick ass?"

He unbuttoned his pants, letting his dick slip out with his boxers. His length never ceased to amaze you, the thick organ making your mouth water. You imagined it slipping into you, your thighs slipping wider on instinct.

He saw the look you were giving him, his lustful eyes full of mirth and desperation. Without waiting any further, he slipped out a condom from his discarded jeans' pocket, sliding his dick into your wet entrance, your ass hitting the wall as he pushed into your walls.

Throwing your head back, you hissed as your walls clenched around him.

"You get, you get turned on when I kick ass?" You panted, grabbing his hair in desperation to the coiling in your gut, "Fuck I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna come Pete."

"Well what are you waiting for princess?" He nibs your ear, squeezing your breasts to his now naked chest. You shuddered at the coolness of his body, he's always been cold to touch.

"Fuck princess, feel so good." His mouth was slack, his thrusts getting harder as he shoved into you, "so tight for me. Enjoying my cock in your pussy eh?"

"Yes! Oh- I love it Pete I love it!" Hitting your head on his chest, you pinched his nipple, making him groan and hit your stomach, the slapping sound echoing in the bathroom.

"Say it louder pretty girl"

"Why?" You whined, "I should get back to you for using the vibrator but I'm having too much fun."

You groaned, Your eyes scrunched when his thrusts started to slow down, his senses too overloaded to work together with his stamina.

"Yeah you're needy aren't you?" He said, out of breath from your little meet. He set you down, wiping off your cum using the tissue paper, flushing it off in the toilet.

He took a minute to just admire you. Your body was shining from sweat, your breath coming out in short pants. You were completely naked, breasts out to the display. He flushed when you smirked at him, you had caught him staring. Not that you minded.

"My beautiful girl." He said, voice husky from strain as he closed the distance between you both, holding you in his arms.

You laid your head on his chest, rubbing your cheeks against his pectorals. You could hear his racing heart, chuckling when you saw heat rising up his chest to his neck and then face.

"Why are you blushing? We literally just fucked." You laughed, tracing circles on his collarbones. He looked ethereal from where you were standing, perfectly sculpted by a skillful sculptor.

"Because you're amazing and I can't believe you're my girl." He said.

"Mmhm,” You nodded against him, “Also, do you always keep a condom in your pocket?"

__________••☆••__________

There were many reasons as to why you keep around Peter, and one of them is that he's an amazing chef. Living with his aunt and uncle, he and Ben had been the main source of home cooked meals, because Aunt May was never good at cooking.

You saw him standing in the kitchen, flipping pancakes while he hummed to some melody. You didn't mind, you could stare at him all day. Thankfully, none of the Avengers were awake yet (but they would be. They're huge fans of his food)

"Morning." You smile, wrapping your hands around his waist, placing your head on his back.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, moving around as you clung to him like a koala. Giggling, you wrapped your legs around his waist, jumping on his back like a potato sack.

"Mmhm, the best sleep I've had in a long while." You mumble, words muffled by his back.

"Is that so?" He asked.

"Yup."

Hearing shuffling noises, you quickly jumped off of him, fixing your t-shirt and sitting on the dining table.

You saw as Steve and Sam entered the kitchen, Natasha soon following suit. Clint had left for his home early that morning, wanting to meet Laura and his kids as soon as he could.

You smiled at each of them, nodding a good morning and helping them sort a plate.

You were arranging the plates when you heard a choked gasp. Alarmed at the sound, you looked up at Steve's horrified expression, looking at where he was pointing a finger.

"What?" You asked, biting your lips.

"That- is that a hickey?!?"

Slapping your neck, you let the plate clatter on the table, ignoring Peter's scrambled replies. You saw Bucky entering from the corner of your eye, unable to formulate a coherent answer.

"Oh my god, Bucky they totally fucked yesterday!"

Page dividers by @cicicantblog

#peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x avenger!reader #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader smut #spiderman x stark!reader #spiderman x you #peter parker x stark!daughter #stark!reader #avenger!reader #spideygirl writes

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daegall · 3 years

Text

Fool

pairing: Ice hockey player! Sungchan x figure skater! reader

genre: fluff

warnings: umm is falling on your ass like 3 times a warning ALSO IDK THIS MIGHT BE CHEESY.................

word count: 2k+ words (WTF WHY CANT I WRITE LIKE THIS FOR MY OTHER COLLABS HUH

a/n: whooo!! this is part of @knet-bakery's nostalgic melodies event!! though this will be posted while in supposed to be on a mini hiatus, i hope it still goes well and nothing wrong happens! enjoy bubs <33

🎶: fool - nct 127

You were very proud to announce to your closest friends and family that you've been accepted to your university's figure skating team! It was, and still is, one of your biggest accomplishments. First you got into your dream school, then your dream team, what's next, you're dream boy?

You feel your chest tighten and breathing stop as you enter your uni's ice rink, the cold sensation of the ice instantly nipping at your warm skin. It's not like you mind, you've felt it all your life, it was your favorite feeling.

The sound of skates scraping against the ice fills your ears, swarming around your body and swirling especially in your heart, the nostalgic sound of it feeling so nostalgic to you.

It was crazy how much time you spent on the ice.

"Y/n!"

They beckon you over, to which you instantly rush up to them with buzzing excitement coursing through your veins.

Just as you get right next to them, and greet them enthusiastically, a bunch of boys come out of the changing room with red and blue uniforms, laughing and chatting loudly with each other as they get onto the ice.

Woah, you think. It's the gators!

You've seen them play before, and they are really no joke. They gave the best team players, fastest skaters, and the most strategic moves. They have so many international transfers as well.

You recognize each and every one of them, every one but a certain tall, shy boy. There's a sudden rush of warmth that spreads through your face and ears, and your eyes widen as you see him skate gracefully in the ice.

"Woah, aren't they great? Y/n didn't you- oh gosh are you blushing?"

Your palms instantly fly up to cover your face, shaking your head no, "N-no! I'm just cold!"

They all know it's bullshit, you've never been so red because of the cold, and you would literally skate all night with only a t-shirt when the team was opening for players. There is no way you're just cold. He

"Whatever you say, Y/n. Come on, let's get our skates."

You give them a tight nod, picking your duffle back up into your arms. You give the hockey players one last glance, and already find the new member looking right at your direction. A squeak erupts from your throat, before you scurry off into the changing rooms quickly.

You didn't expect to be skating at the same time as the hockey players, but you guess it's how the first practice of the semester goes. Each of the coaches are at the benches, talking to each other excitedly as they talk about each of their new skaters.

You're only doing a few spins on the ice, your nerves making it somehow colder, when you catch the new guy looking at you again. You try to brush it off, but to no avail. You slip and fall.

It's alright, most of the skaters here have already done the exact same thing, some taking a fall even worse than yours. You groan and pat your lower back and butt in pain, before getting up quickly to start yet once again. It's a painful, but daily routine.

The coaches stand to call all team members, each on different sides of the rink. To your dismay, you're all the way on the other side from your teammates and coach. You quickly get up to skate to them, but the second you get up you're tumbling back down because of a weight pushing you.

"A-ah! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you..."

Your head snaps up at the unfamiliar voice, and your own voice disappears when you see the same cute new member from the hockey team.

There's an awkward moment between you two as you just stare at each other, breaths being stolen away by one another, but remaining breathless. Your heart pounds dangerously loudly in your ears, swelling in a way you've never felt before.

It feels like forever, before the boy helps you up with an apologetic pat at your lower back.

That’s all you think of for the rest of the week, in the middle of class, eating lunch, heck, when you’re late to class, his awkward smile and gleaming eyes permanent in your memories.

Your teammates tease you to no end, calling you out whenever the boy, who you’ve learned his name is Sungchan, comes within just 15 meters from you.

It’s no different for him himself, it all started when Donghyuck teased him of how red he was and how he would always glance at you that day. He was never one to believe in love at first sight, but suddenly it was his whole love life the moment he helped you up from the ice.

Fortunately for the both of you, you got to see each other without being teased out of your minds. At first, you doubted why you signed up for economy, but now you keep looking at the clock to see how far 5th period was.

Maybe coincidence, maybe fate, you don’t really care. Just the fact that you get to sit next to him in econ made your heart thump quickly.

But, even with such time, you two were still too shy to make a move. It was so obvious you wanted to, but it was like a mutual agreement that the time will come, when the time will come.

You kind of regret it though, you hate that you have to be so self conscious around him, when there are your teammates, always walking up to random dudes and asking them random shit.

You think this and curse to yourself as you open the ice rink doors, the cool wind blowing at your face for the nth time this week.

Just as you get sight of the ice, a familiar red and blue jersey flies from one side of the rink to the other, and you can’t help but wish it’s Sungchan.

It might just be fate, for your crush was there, with a hockey stick, playing around and doing all kinds of tricks with the puck.

You are once again, blow away at his skills, eyes traveling with him and observing every move he makes. It’s 8:45 pm, just 2 hours before the rink closes for the day. You thought you were the only one planning on training this evening.

You take in a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for some awkward moments, before placing your duffle bag on the benches.

Just as you step on the ice with your skates, Sungchan turns around, and is shocked to see you on the ice with him. He instantly loses focus and topples over suddenly, causing both him and you to gasp.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?”

As your voice gets clearer and closer, the boy feels his heart start to shake, and the same feeling of when you fell on the ice fluttering within his body.

“Y-yeah! I’m fine, r-really,”

Your expressions still twist in worry, and despite your mind freaking out and not knowing what to do, you still offer him a hand.

It feels like strikes of electricity or sparks running through your body as Sungchan’s cold, gloved hand envelops yours. You tug him upward gently, your heart beating in your ears loudly like drums.

Sungchan sends you an awkward, shy smile, one that you reciprocate with just as much nervousness shading it. Despite being in an ice rink, with literally just a shirt and yoga pants, you’re burning up. You haven’t even warmed up yet.

You mutually, but silently, agree to split the ice, the right side for you, the left for Sungchan.

Youreally can’t help but sneak a few glances at him as he practices, sometimes even going as far as staring without realizing. It’s not like it’s too easy for him either, your movements are so graceful and full of effort, he can feel the hard work radiate off of you. Many times did you want to help each other when one fell, but decided not to since it’s so common for people on the ice.

At some point of the individual practice, Sungchan accidentally hits his puck all the way to your side. He internally panics, hesitating to go in your zone to take the puck. The second he’s taking a step into your side, the puck is flying back in front of him.

Alarmed, Sungchan’s head whips up, shocked and very much delighted to see you, with a bright smile on your face and sparkling eyes.

He’s stunned. How could someone so perfect, suddenly become even better?

“Bring it on, Jung!”

A smile finds itself instinctively on Sungchan’s lips, before he’s retrieving the puck again and dribbling it around. Your confidence starts to waver at his determined stare, instead a chill of excitement running through your body.

Before you know it, you’re chasing Sungchan around the ice, attempting to steal the puck from him. It’s of course, not that easy, for someone who hasn’t played since the 8th grade. Though, you still impress your crush a lot, with your speed and stamina, you could train to be a hockey player.

The silent playfulness is turned vocal, with laughs and groans whenever one falls or fails to steal the puck. You can barely pick up the pace because of how much you’ve laughed at this point, just tagging along behind Sungchan as he teasingly tells you to catch up.

At last, you have a chance to steal the puck. Without any hesitation, you skate faster, and swerve the puck your way. The way your stick clashed with Sungchan’s made him shocked, not to mention your speed and swiftness too.

Sungchan is racing after you, ready to take the puck back to his possession, but he’s too late, you’ve hit, and it goes straight into the goalpost.

With a breathy laugh, you throw your hands into the air, and throw Sungchan a big, proud grin. He only pants with a smile, and gives you a much appreciated thumbs up.

“How are you so good?” At the question your ego is nibbling on, you smirk smugly and shrug, “I used to play ice hockey a lot with my dad and cousins.”

You get the puck back from the goal, and start dribbling it around the rink with skill. Oblivious to the adoring loom Sungchan gives your way, you attempt to shoot the puck at him. He catches it with no problem, “You’re so damn cool,”

At that, you slip painfully onto your back.

You lay no mind though, sitting straight back up and staring at your crush with big, surprised eyes, “W-what?”

Sungchan only laughs, wiping his forehead with his gloved hand, “Nevermind that,” he skates towards the exit of the ice, smiling shyly down at his skates.

Now’s a good time, right?

“H-hey,” you hum back a response, knowing your words would catch in your throat if you spoke. Sungchan bites his lip shyly, “You wanna go out sometime?” A soft gasp leaves your lips.

“L-like a date?”

“I mean, y-yeah. A date,”

Unwanted fireworks go on in your body, exploding with joy and giddiness from the suggestion of a date.

You both grin like fools once the other is out of sight, replaying whatever happened over and over on repeat.

There, in the ice, minutes after being asked out by your crush, you are unaware of the bright and fun future you have with him, unaware of the black hole you call love, falling deeper and deeper for him.

#knet bakery #knetmelodies #nct #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #jung sungchan #jung sungchan imagines #jung sungchan fluff #jung sungchan drabbles #jung sungchan scenarios #nct u #nct u imagines #nct u fluff #nct u drabbles #nct u scenarios #nct 2020

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chalkmarkers · 3 years

Text

hq characters and how they’d react to you holding their hand for the first time pt. 1

includes: karasuno and nekoma

a/n: this is my first headcannon and i honestly did NOT expect to write this much but i was having a big brain moment so i hope you all enjoy :) part two will include fukurodani, aoba johsai, and shiratorizawa <3

hinata - this boy is dramatic about everything, his face turns beat red as your skin makes contact with his. he will look at you, look at your hand, look back at you, back at your hand, at least 4 times. After calming down from stuttering for almost a whole minute, he realizes hes not imagining it, and his face lights up with joy and pride as he continues to walk- no, SKIP to your destination swinging your hand enthusiastically. all you can do is giggle at the bright ball of joy and skip along with him

kageyama- this man does not know how to react at ALL. all he knows is he has to look cool. at first glance he looks unphased, but upon closer inspection you can see the tips of his ears are bright red as hes trying to hold back the giddiest smile. eventually he gives your hand a nice lil squeeze of affirmation and looks the other way as you continue walking

yamaguchi- a flustered mess honestly, and adorable at that. he’ll flinch a little as your hand first grabs his and his face will light up. hes not sure what to say or do about it but on the inside hes just so happy to have you, so after a few seconds of him trying to hide his obvious blush and calm his composure, he’ll interlock your fingers and give you the softest smile ever

tsukishima- tsukki isnt really one for physical affection, so it takes a while before you can get the courage to hold his hand. youre walking to school together and youre still quite far from the building, so there arent many people around if any, so you decide its the perfect opportunity. once your fingers first meet his, he flinches and pulls away ever so slightly. he’ll slightly glance at you questionably and see your expression drop after his rejection. he hates seeing you even the smallest bit upset so this hurt him a bit. his face softens as he looks away and grabs your hand ever so slightly. your surprised look then beaming smile at him is something he can’t resist and his lips form the biggest smile you’ve seen from him yet (which is still pretty small). you hold his hand will joy and pride all the way until you get closer to the school and more people start to gather around, which signals his release from his grasp. he truly appreciates and adores how much you respect his boundaries and if youre patient enough, he’ll be holding your hand all the way to the classroom

nishinoya - similar to hinata, noya is very dramatic about this encounter. He will stop dead in his tracks and simply stare at your interlocked hands for a while, wiggling his fingers and inspecting your hand, almost to confirm that what is happening is real. After a good minute he’ll look up at you and give you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen as he literally jumps with joy and pride as he too will skip to your destination, dragging you along with him as he screams in excitement

tanaka- tanaka.exe has stopped working. He’ll be pretty casual about it at first, not really noticing the contact, but after a few seconds he finally realizes that you are in fact holding hands. This simple interaction is enough to fill tanaka to the brim with joy, pride, excitement, and embarrassment. He’d be a blushing mess, but, like kageyama, he will try to keep a cool facade. He’s now switched into protective mode and is glaring daggers at any man you pass by, causing you to laugh and adore how protective and sweet he is. After this, you can expect him to be holding your hand everywhere you go from now on ;)

daichi - Daichi isn’t as reactive as the others, but on the inside hes just as flustered and happy as he can be. He’ll be surprised by the sudden contact at first, giving your hand a glance as you interlock your fingers with his. He takes a moment to really notice how small your hands are compared to his and he finds this absolutely adorable. He’ll look up at you and simply take in your beauty, truly appreciating that you are now his as he brings your hand up to his lips and places a soft kiss on the back of your palm, causing you to slightly blush. Your gaze never leaves in front of you and yet you can still see the soft smile daichi has on his face as you continue to walk

sugawara- suga would be a nice combination of daichi and noya, immediately blushing the second your hand meets his. Hed be stuttering for a few seconds after that, trying to really take in just how adorable you are. This simple interaction pulls at the poor boys heart strings so hard he has to grip his chest just to calm down his racing heart beat. All it takes is one look at you and that precious smile to calm him down almost instantly. He takes a minute to just gaze at your features, taking in the entirety of your beauty. The boy can’t help but smile lovingly at you as all he can say after that is a simple but heartfelt “i love you”

asahi - much to your surprise, asahi is calmer than you thought he would be. As soon as the tip of your finger meets his, your hand melts into his, almost like he had been waiting for it. He grips your hand so softly as this time, you're the one to be surprised at the sudden gesture. You look down at his hand to see him gently rubbing circles against the back of your palm with his thumb. You look up to see him already staring back at you. A soft grin planted on his face, one that doesn’t leave for the entire duration of the walk. While on any other day, asahi would be nervous and flustered by the sudden interaction, something about today told him all he needed was the touch of your hand in his, and he was more than happy to accept your hand fully

kuroo- kuroo had been teasing you all day, leaving you quiet flustered as the two of you walk to the train station after school. He had finally given it a rest as he went on talking about just about anything he could think of. You listened in adoration as he went on and on about one thing after another. Almost instinctively your hand reached up to grab his, which shut him up IMMEDIATELY. You looked up at him confused to see his face painted red all over, simply staring at your hand interlocked with his. This boy’s reaction is absolutely adorable, reaching his free hand up to cover up his face as he seems to subconsciously squeeze your hand,,, a little too tight. He notices your fingers loosen in his hand as he realizes hes squeezing too hard and immediately softens his grip, wanting nothing more than to have your hand in his forever. He tries his best to recover as quick as he can as he goes right back to teasing you, this time twice as much, leaving you to look away in embarrassment. All kuroo can do is chuckle and look at you with the most adoration ever. He’s so lucky to have someone like you in his life and he doesn’t intend to let you go.

kenma- of course mans always has his game in his hands when going anywhere, so holding his hand was a bit difficult to do. You had to somehow get him to put his game down so you could even get the chance. You had absolutely no idea what could possibly get him to put that thing down, so you thought the best thing to do would to be to grab his hand before he could even reach for his game, and thats just what you did. You couldn’t do it in school knowing that kenma wasn’t the biggest fan of pda, so you decided to wait for him to pick you up one morning to initiate your plan. He never has his game in his hand when he first comes to your door, simply out of respect, so right as you open the door to greet him, you take your chance. Greeting him with a smile, he asks if your ready to go, you reply with a giddy “yup” as you grab his hand and start walking. Kenma is baffled to say the least by this sudden interaction, and at first he’s not sure how he feels about it. But seeing the smile on your face as you were finally able to hold his hand clears his mind almost instantly as he simply smiles at you and gives your hand a soft squeeze. He didn’t even think about his games once on your walk

yaku- yaku is very similar to suga, except more cocky. He’ll be walking you to school, simply checking up on your health, asking how you’ve been, if you ate, drank water, etc. which made you really appreciate how much the small boy really cared about you. It was an almost subconscious reaction to reach for his hand and once you realized what you were doing, you hesitated ever so slightly, buuuuuut it was too late as your fingers were already touching his. Noticing your slight hesitation yaku takes initiative and grabs your hand firmly, still going on about your health and other daily things. You look up to see a faint yet very noticeable blush spread across his cheeks and ears, causing you to smile, yaku notices, which only makes his blush grow more as he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. Little do you know the man was internally screaming the second he felt your fingers touch his

lev- lev had been resting his arm on your head once again, teasing you about your height as if he himself wasn’t a walking beanpole. Quite frustrated with his constant teasing, you simply grabbed his hand from atop your head and held it to your side. Lev is of course taken aback by this, his face burning up. But hey, he;s stopped teasing you, so it’s a win for you,,, orrrrrr so you think. As soon as lev regains his composure he immediately goes back to teasing you about how you’re so short your have to reach up just to hold his hand, which of course being the petty one you are, makes you let go, causing lev’s personality to do a complete 180 again. He almost instantly grabs your hand once again, quite embarrassed, this time only walking in a comfortable silence as all he can think is how cute you look holding his hand, he of course wont say this to you though

#haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #haikyuu boys #karasuno #karasuno headcannons #nekoma #nekoma headcannons

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kpop---scenarios · 3 years

Text

Off Limits

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Brothers Bestfriend

Warning: Smut, Fingering, F. Receiving Oral, Unprotected Fucking, Teeny Bit of Angst

Word Count: 4.5k

Commissioned By: @uwu-yifan

A/N: I'm nervous!!! I hope you enjoy!!!

Your brother was always quick to remind you that his friends were like forbidden fruit, they were to not be sought after by you, no matter what. One thing Namjoon failed to remember was that you never really did listen to him.

You stood at the top of the staircase of your parents home, listening to the sound of your brother laughing, trying to figure out just which one of his friends was over this time.

"Nah man." You hear a chuckle that makes your heartbeat a little faster.

Yoongi.

You had your eye on him for a little while, secretly of course. While you were being subtle about your crush, you were pretty sure that Yoongi was catching on. He wasn't a dumb guy, he caught onto things pretty quickly but you just hoped that he would be a little bit faster. You had been, as some would say, pining over him for months, and you desperately wanted to subtly shoot your shot with him.

You walked down the stairs in your shorts and tank top, making your way to the kitchen where you knew they were hanging out.

"Really Ayn?" Namjoon scoffed, rolling his eyes at your outfit, looking away in disgust, while Yoongi's eyes trailed your body, smirking before looking away. You caught it all and now knew that he was most definitely catching on to you.

"What?" You smile. "I'm wearing clothes. It's not like I'm wearing a thong and nipple tassels." You say, your eyes darting to Yoongi whose hands are tightly gripping the edge of the counter while he bites the bottom of his lip.

"Whatever." Namjoon groans. "Don't forget you need to be fully packed up by Friday, we move on Saturday." He reminds you, pointing his finger at you just like your dad does. "Let's go Yoongi." He says, walking out of the kitchen. Yoongi follows behind him, turning his body around to catch your eye while walking backwards out of the kitchen. He sends you a wink before entering the hallway, leaving your pussy tingling.

The next week you were sitting on your couch, in your brand new apartment that you unfortunately shared with your brother. However, it could be worse, you could still be living at home. You were happily curled up in your large t-shirt and underwear, binge watching your favorite show, when there was a knock at the door. Hesitantly, you walk up to the door, peeking through the peephole, and you see Yoongi standing on the other side. With a slick grin on your face you unlock the door, opening it wide to welcome him inside.

"Hey." You smile, closing the door behind him.

"Hey.. uh is Namjoon here yet?" He asks. "We're supposed to be going out." .

"No he's not home yet. Feel free to wait though." You say, walking back to the couch. You could feel his eyes on you, wandering up your legs as you walked from him.

You sat down on the couch, taking your show off pause and continuing watching it. Yoongi walks into the living room, sitting down on the couch beside you, but a little further away than you would have liked. The two of you sat there in silence, watching the show. You could see from the corner of your eyes, Yoongi's eyes shifting, looking back and forth at you. You adjust your sitting position so you're a little closer to him. Yoongi moves slightly closer to you, neither of you saying a word. Before you could say anything, his phone rang. He quickly answers it and only says a few words before putting it back in his pocket.

"Namjoon is going to be a little bit longer." He says, clearing his throat. You nod your head, going back to watching your show. As you continue watching you feel Yoongi's fingertips creep on your thighs, lightly touching your skin. Your body shutters as he moves his hand up, resting his palm on your thigh.

"Is this okay?" He whispers.

You turn your head to look at him, he's already looking at you. You take a deep breath, "yes." You breathe, your heart is pounding, he slides his hand up a little further. Your mind is racing. You have two options. You can let him take the lead, or you can take it and move yourself on top of him to straddle him.

You decide to let him do the work, let him come to you instead of throwing yourself at him. You stare at the man sitting beside you, watching him take a deep breath in before he leans over, his other hands resting on your hip as he tugs. You help him, lifting yourself over to straddle his lap. He sits beneath you with a smug look on his face. You sit up straight, your breasts now in his face. Yoongi cups each one with a hand, gently kneading them while letting out a soft groan. You smile from above him as his hand trails up to your neck, pulling you down, his lips just hovering below yours. You close your eyes, waiting for him to kiss you. He finally presses his lips to yours and fireworks explode inside you. You can feel the sparks shooting from between the two of you, the world was spinning. It felt right, it felt like it was meant to be.

Yoongi quickly deepens the kiss, leaning back on the couch so you press your body against his. He slips his tongue into your mouth, his hand moving up from your neck to grab a clump of hair pulling your head back, separating your lips. You let out a gasp, breathing heavily as he stares at you before directing your head back down to attach your lips to his once again. As he deepens the kiss again, you slowly start to grind yourself on him, your clothed pussy rubbing against his crotch as you now slide your tongue into his mouth. He begins to kiss you harder, making you ride him harder. Neither of you are fully aware of anything around you, only focusing on what was happening in the moment. Yoongi moves his lips away from yours and down to your neck, his hot breath spreading across you, sending shivers down your spine. You breathe heavily into his ear as his hands land on your hips, helping you ride him, the bulge in his pants rubbing your clit just the right way.

"Oh fuck." You cry out, clenching your pussy.

"I wish.." he breathed. "You'd cum on my cock." He groans.

Right as your orgasm was about to hit, the two of you halted all movements. You hear the deadbolt being unlocked, meaning one thing. Namjoon was home. You quickly got off of Yoongi, pressed play on the TV before running to the bathroom, just as your brother walked into the living room.

"Hey dude. Have you been here for long?" He asks Yoongi.

"Nah man, just a few minutes." Yoongi casually answers.

"Where's Ayn?" Namjoon asks.

"Bathroom I think." Yoongi shrugs.

"Let's get going." Namjoon says, nodding his head towards the door.

Yoongi stands up, his boner slowly fading away. He follows Namjoon to the front door, looking behind him once, hoping to catch a glimpse of you before he leaves, but he gets nothing.

A few days later, you're laying in your bed, scrolling through tik tok when you get a phone call from a number you didn't recognize.

"Hello?" You answer, wondering who it was. You knew who you hoped it was, but you knew that would likely be a dream.

Or was it?

"Hey you." A voice you recognized immediately whispers through the speaker. "I want to take you out." He says.

"Okay." You say, your smile is so large your cheeks burn. You felt your stomach doing flips in excitement.

"Tomorrow. Scoops Ice Cream shack." He says. "7pm."

"I'll meet you there." You say, getting up to stand on your bed.

"See you tomorrow, beautiful." He finishes before hanging up the phone.

You can't contain your excitement. You drop your phone onto your bed, jumping up and down while squealing loudly.

"Oh my godddd." You shriek.

You don't notice your door open, or your brother standing there staring at you being an idiot.

"What is happening?" He yells.

You stop jumping and immediately sink down to sit on your bed, looking at Namjoon nervously. "A new movie is coming out.. very excited." You breathe, nodding your head in a very non suspicious way.

"Uh huh." He says, glaring at you while slowly backing out of your room and closing the door.

What the hell were you going to tell him tomorrow?

The next day at 645pm sharp you grabbed your purse and confidently made your way to the front door. You didn't know why, but Namjoon was the protective type, always wanting to know where you were going and who you were going with. You reach out for the door knob, so close to freedom without him knowing until you hear the shuffling of his feet and the sound of him clearing his throat behind you.

"Whatcha doing?" He asks.

You sigh as you turn around, a smile plastered on your face. "Going out with friends." You respond.

"Doing what?" He asks.

"Going for ice cream."

"Where?" He wonders.

"Scoops. Can I go now?" You sigh.

"You may leave." He says, nodding his head towards you.

Sometimes you really could just kill him.

At 7pm you sat at a table, looking up the street and behind you, waiting to see if you could find Yoongi. You were positive he said 7, but now you felt as though maybe you heard wrong, or maybe you had gotten the date wrong. You started to stand up when you heard a car pull up next to the curb and the driver's side door slam shut before you see Yoongi jogging towards you with a smile on his face.

"I'm so sorry." He grins. "I got stuck behind a train. I didn't make you wait long did I?" He asks, really hoping you hadn't been out here by yourself for long.

"I've only been here a few minutes." You answer. It wasn't a lie, you hadn't been here long.

"Cool, let's go get some ice cream." He smiles, grabbing your hand to pull you inside the shack. 10 minutes later the two of you walk out, your ice cream in hand, giggling at something he had told you. You sat down, enjoying your favorite ice cream, while Yoongi devoured his vanilla ice cream with red beans inside, which made you want to vomit, just a little bit.

You both sat there for hours, talking, laughing until you started crying. You had such a good time with him, you didn't want it to end.

"So." You nonchalantly begin your sentence. "What are your plans for later?" You ask, trying to remain smooth and casual.

"I actually was going to see if you wanted to go for a drive." He smiles. "I want to show you something."

You nod your head and pick up your garbage, tossing it out before sliding into the passenger seat of his car.

Twenty minutes later, you and Yoongi are sitting in a remote area, watching the sunset over the mountains and it is absolutely breathtaking. "Wow." You breathe, your eyes unable to even be torn away from the site, until you feel a hand on your upper thigh, squeezing your bare skin. Je hand slid up your leg more, and now you were nervous, when you had gotten dressed this evening, you opted for a skirt, deciding to leave your panties at home just in case and now Yoongi was going to find out. Your eyes darted over to Yoongi who was staring at you with dark eyes. You look down for a brief second to see the bulge in his pants, pressing against his zipper.

You look back at him, taking a deep breath as your pussy begins to tingle. He moves his hands further up, one finger caressing your bare pussy.

"No panties?" He groaned, his head falling back against the seat. "Fuck baby girl." You open your legs as much as you can, letting him use one finger to enter between your folds, dragging it up, sliding against your clit, making you shudder.

"More." You beg, your hand gripping his wrist to keep his hand where it was. Yoongi stares at you as he begins moving his finger in a circular motion, causing you to clench your pussy around nothing, slowly moving your hips in the same motion, grinding yourself on his finger.

"Fuck. Just like that." You moan, your hand still wrapped around his wrist, making sure he didn't move away. "God." You whine, your eyes closed while you rest your head against the headrest.

Yoongi reaches over with his other hand and tugs harshly, ripping the buttons of your shirt to expose your bra. That built your orgasm up so much further. He yanks down the cup of your bra, letting your breast fall out. He leans over more, wrapping his lips around your nipple, sucking and gentle tugging on it with his teeth. "Please." You breathe. "Don't stop." Your hands curl into a fist; squeezing tightly as his finger moves faster, eagerly awaiting for you to cum. He lets go of your breast with a pop, watching you squirm as he rubs your clit. "Oh.. I'm gonna cum." You cry out. Yoongi's eyes don't leave your face as you explode in his front seat, screaming out as you cum all over, your juices dripping from your pussy. He pulls his hand away from you, watching you still as he sticks his finger in his mouth, sucking off whatever juices dripped onto him.

"Get in the back seat." He demands. You move yourself to the backseat, he slides in beside you, immediately pushing himself against you, crashing his lips to yours while his hands roam your body. You kiss him back, passionately, desperately seeking the feeling of something entering your pussy. You needed to feel his cock inside you, stretching out your walls as he made you cum again, this time on his cock.

"I need you." He groans, taking your hand and placing it on his crotch. You can feel how hard his cock is through his pants and it makes you feel even wetter. "Ride me." He gasps, breaking away from you, to unzip his pants as fast as he can, letting his cock spring free. He slouches in his seat, and you lift your leg over him, hovering above his cock that he's holding onto, waiting for you to sink down on top of him. You slowly begin to lower yourself on him, his fingers digging into your side as your pussy swallows his cock, pushing himself all the way inside of you, as far as he can. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight." He moans, thrusting inside you more. You begin rolling your hips on him, sliding his cock out of you partially before slamming yourself back down on him, making him cry out for more. Your hands run through his hair as you roll your hips faster, your clit rubbing in the perfect spot. You both quickly get hungrier, yearning for your releases, you bounce on his cock as he lifts his hips to push his cock inside more. "Just like that baby girl." He moans, his hands holding your hips, helping you bounce.

"Oh fuck." You cry out, your head thrown back with your eyes closed as you focus on one thing, cumming all over his cock. Yoongi moves a hand from your hip and wraps it around your throat, squeezing tightly, making you clench your pussy around him.

"Do that again." He groans.

You clench yourself around him again and again, making him moan louder each time. The windows are fogged, the air in the car is humid, the smell of sex surrounds you, the sound of skin slapping is the only thing you can hear besides the faint sounds coming from the radio.

"Cum baby, cum all over my fucking cock like the good girl you are."

That was it, that was all you needed. You stop bouncing as you cum, rolling your hips to rub your clit against him, trying to get as much out of this orgasm as you can. "Don't fucking stop." He growls, holding on to your hips again, bouncing your tired body on his cock, desperate for his release. "I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum in your pussy." He yells. His eyes roll back as he releases a load inside of you, muttering curses as he gently thrusts into you, relishing in the moment.

"Wow." You tiredly giggle.

"Wow is right." Yoongi chuckles, helping you slide off his cock.

You both sit there for a few minutes, catching your breath before you move back into the front seat and he takes you home, making sure to drop you off a block away so Namjoon doesn't see.

When you walk into your apartment, your brother is sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels, and doesn't look up at you.

"Good night?" He asks, still staring at the TV.

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun." You answer, tiredly walking to your room.

"I'm glad you're starting to go out with your friends." He yells.

"Thanks, goodnight." You yell, closing your door and flopping on your bed. You fall asleep almost immediately, with Yoongi on your mind.

*6 months later*

You lay in Yoongi's bed, naked and wrapped up in his sheets as he stares at you, his finger gently brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. You have never been happier than you had been in the last four months, since he asked you to be his girlfriend. Your heart fluttered, melted and beat at an incredible rate whenever you saw him or even thought about him. The only thing that was ruining things was the fact that Namjoon was still in the dark, and it was really bothering Yoongi.

"Please baby?" He asks again, placing a kiss on your cheek. "Please tell him. Lying to him is killing me. I can't do it for much longer." He sighs.

"It's just not the right time now. We'll tell him soon, okay? I promise. Just give me some time to think about what I'm going to say and everything, okay?" You smile, pressing your lips against his, hoping he would forget about it for a while.

*6 months later*

You lay in your bed, your legs spread open with Yoongi between your thighs. He began kissing up your thighs, lightly biting the inside of your thigh, avoiding your pussy and driving you insane.

"Please." You beg. "Eat my pussy, please "

"I don't know, baby girl." He smirks. "You've been a little naughty." He says, spreading your lips with two fingers, gently blowing on your clit.

"Oh god." You cry out, your nub throbbing from being teased, needing to be sucked on and licked, yearning for its release. Yoongi leads his head forward, sticking out his tongue just a little so it's only the tip of his tongue, and he just barely licks your clit, making you clench. He inserts two fingers inside you, keeping them still as he continues to tease you and torture you.

"I need you. Please. I need you to lick my pussy, please." You loudly cry out.

Yoongi lifts his head, staring at your tortured face, deciding you had enough punishment. He moved back down between your thighs and latched his lips to your swollen clit, sucking hard, making your entire body twitch. Your hands grab the bed sheets, almost pulling them off as you buck your hips, trying to grind yourself on his face but he wouldn't let you. He held you down as he did different movements with his tongue, and switched between licking and sucking, and finally pumping his fingers in and out of you.

"Just like that." You groan, your eyes almost rolling into the back of your head as you melt into the bed at how good it feels right now. Yoongi suddenly does something new, your eyes fly open, your body begins to jolt as you cum immediately, your juices covering his fingers and his face, he moans from between your legs. Your chest is heaving as you try to catch your breath from the sudden change and bursting orgasm.

"Wow." You huff, your eyes wide as you stare at the ceiling.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." Yoongi says, giving you a kiss before standing up and walking towards the door. He turns back to look at you, now looking a little sad. "Can we tell him today?" He asks. "Please."

"I'm not ready yet." You say. "I like our little bubble." You finish, trying to make him feel a little better.

"Yeah, well it's not all about you Ayn. You might like the bubble, but I feel like you don't want people to know about me." He says, looking at your torn face.

"That's not.." you begin before he waves you off.

"Forget about it." He sighs, walking out of your room, leaving you feeling guilty.

As Yoongi is making his way back from the bathroom, he's met by Namjoon standing there looking confused. "Hey man." He says, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey dude." Yoongi chuckles.

"What are you doing here?" Namjoon asks, waiting to see how Yoongi was going to answer this one.

"Waiting for you. Was going to see if you wanted to hit up that new club?" Yoongi says. Namjoon looks semi relieved and relaxed a little bit, until he calls for you. "Ayn." He yells. He can hear you rushing around in your room, murmuring to yourself but he can't quite make out what you're saying. You come out of your room in sweatpants and a tank top, messing with your hair as you walk past both of them and to the kitchen. "One second." You say, going into the fridge to grab a bottle of water before heading back to the living room. "What?" You say, after taking a swig, looking at Namjoon weirdly.

"What's going on?" Namjoon asks, crossing his arms.

"Nothing?" You say, giving him a puzzled look. "I let Yoongi in because he said he wanted to wait for you, and I've been in my room. Why?" You finish, taking another swig of water.

"Uh huh. Okay then." Namjoon says, eyeing you both up. "Well Yoongi, I have someone I want you to meet." Namjoon chuckles. "Nice face, big tits." He laughs.

Yoongi nervously laughs, scratching the back of his head. "I'm kinda seeing someone.. I guess." He says, not looking at you. "But I think she's just playing with me.. embarrassed of me or some shit." He says.

You can't help but flinch, feeling the pang in your heart of his words. You never felt embarrassed of him, you were just terrified of Namjoon's reaction, considering Yoongi was supposed to be off limits to you.

"I fucking saw that." Namjoon yells, pointing at you, his eyes wide. "You've been fucking haven't you?" He yells. "I thought I noticed something different about the two of you, it wasn't that hard to piece it together." He snaps. "What the fuck Ayn, I told you he was off limits." He growls.

"That's not.. I'm sorry " You panic. "I love him, okay? It's not just meaningless, or anyone being embarrassed or playing with anyone. I love him." You say, grabbing Yoongi's arm.

"And you." Namjoon spits, pointing to Yoongi. "I told you to stay away from my baby sister. I explicitly told you to not go after her." He yells.

"You can't help who you fall in love with." You chime in. "Why can't you just be happy for us?"

Namjoon scoffs. "I can't. You both betrayed me." He whispers, storming out of the room and slamming your front door as he leaves. You try to hold onto Yoongi but he just shakes you off, backing away from you.

"What are you doing?" You ask, looking hurt.

"Maybe.." he sighs. "Maybe we should take some time Ayn."

"Because of my brother?" You scoff. "You can't be serious. You can't let him dictate our lives." You say. You can see the anxiety in your stomach, traveling through your body.

"He's my best friend. Has been for 12 years.. I never should have started this." He whispers. "I'm sorry." He finishes, walking out of the apartment, leaving you standing there alone. The silence is deafening.

It had been 2 weeks since Namjoon stormed out and Yoongi walked away from you. And it had been 2 weeks since you had spoken to either of them, not like either of them had tried to reach out to you or anything either. You avoided Namjoon at all costs, locked yourself in your room when he was home or even left the apartment until he either went to bed or went out.

As the time went on though, you did realize why Namjoon was so upset with you, and of course you felt guilty for betraying him like that, but it happened and you were happy and he didn't care.

You sat by your window, watching the rain fall from the sky, wallowing in your self pity when there was a light knock at the door. "Come in." You sigh, not looking away from the rain. You knew who it was, you didn't need to greet him.

"Ayn.." Namjoon starts. "I'm sorry." He says.

Your head whips around to look at him, shocked. "I'm sorry for how I acted and I'm sorry that it caused him to walk away from you. I hate seeing you like this and I hate being the reason you're so unhappy. " He sighs. "I spoke to Yoongi.. and it's fine. I give you my blessing or whatever." He says, rolling his eyes.

"I appreciate that, Joon." You smile. "But he walked out on me.. I told him I loved him and he said nothing and walked away." You whisper.

Namjoon half smiles and steps out of the way, revealing Yoongi with a handful of flowers.

"I love you." He smiles. "I'm sorry I walked away from you. I was feeling a lot of different things but nothing compared to the guilt I felt the last 2 weeks after walking away from you and not telling you I loved you. I've spent the last few weeks convincing Namjoon to talk to me and convincing him that this isn't just some fling." He says. "So with his blessing, I'd like to ask you, officially, if you'll be my girlfriend." He grins.

You can't help but smile widely as you say yes, walking into his warm embrace.

"Are you happy?" Namjoon asks you. You move around to look at him, Yoongi's arm still wrapped around you.

"The happiest." You smile.

"Don't hurt her." He says to Yoongi.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Yoongi replies, with a smile.

"Just don't kiss in front of me, it's weird." Namjoon says, almost gagging as he walks out of your room and towards the kitchen, leaving you with your happily ever after

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