#ugh fuck these rent prices man

[toxooz]

considering more and more abt how straight up buying a house is the best option for me and im

#like i dont want to rent bc its just money going up someones ass every month but investing in a house loan would Put the money somewhere #plus when its paid off i can resell and get the money back after all those years in a sense #but gOD im only 23 going on 24 is that not too youngGG UGH #i got the money for a house loan?? i think?? a good foot in the door so to speak #bc god the rent is just so high for fucking everywhere and to think its just not going anywhere long term kills me #my options seem to be rent house for crazy price every month or decent trailer in the sketchiest trailer park known to man #all the decent apt or house rent is in citys like hOURS AWAY UGHH #but finding a decent house to be in for a decade n a half or so and just putting money into that??? sounds best #i never planned on living in this shitty town long term but lets be real years are going by dangerously fast to me now so that long doesnt #seem so long now and i can plan on where i want my Long Term house for my milfsona in life while getting credit/ experience #but god loans??? down payments??? alllll that Important Document shit??? cripplingly terrifying #BUT the payoff like in unit washer and dryer some Actual room advanced privacy just being able to have my own 110% space ooooffff #def going to do a HELL of a lot more research and talk with peers but the discussing ive done so far sounds like i have a fighting chance #plus i was so terrified of moving out and fucking up something important after being backed into a corner at 21 and now look at me💪 #doin p alright so far i think #the only problem is the time i have and whether i can find a decent house around here thats affordable

[sassmill]

Apartment/condo/trailer hunting is making me ill

#I really want to try and buy a trailer #because I could get approved for a mortgage and own it as opposed to throwing rent money into an abyss #but so many of the trailer parks in the county I’m looking at are 55+ communities? #fuck yall honestly #it’s the same with condos #not all of them but the ones that would be within my theoretical budget are all fucking retirement communities #I fucking hate older people sometimes #also if they would just make an exception for me they would see that I am actually more similar in habits to a 75 year old anyways #the loudest thing I do is sew and that’s only if I’m using a machine #ugh #there are studio apartments that I could afford immediately if the application requirements weren’t so insane #I make enough each month to pay what they’re asking for rent but I do not make 3x the rent each month #that’s such a fucking bullshit qualification #you also have to have current landlord history which: fuck you #and you need to have at least one year with your current employer #which I have more than that but the fact that all of these #very clearly class based things #are requirements #tells me a lot about the management #and the fact that the same man owns every single building in the zip code in my price range #with these requirements #makes me want to torch the whole city #we need to take a break and try again once everyone gets their shit together #because this is fucking ridiculous

[ratcatcher0325]

Nobody’s Fool (Chapter #12)

Chapter 12! Woo hoo! Penn ponders his existence in a pink bathtub. I don’t know… He’s hungover, give him a break! Also, the tiny vampire reference in this is an unashamed shout out to @entomolog-t and their OC Aedes! I love that little bloodsucker!

Previous: Chapter #11

Next: Chapter #13

CW: Adult language, dehumanization, references to abuse, mild non-sexual nudity

________________________________________

NOBODY’S FOOL

Chapter #12: Just Under the Surface

[Penn’s POV]

*******************

What. The. Fuck. Happened? I felt like I’d been hit by a train when I awoke. I’d been having the time of my life and now… I felt like complete and utter shit. I mean, I knew there’d be a price to pay for all that kicking, dancing and bouncing around given that I was still pretty beat up. But this felt different. This awful throbbing in my head, my gut felt rent to pieces… if I didn’t know better this felt like a massive hangover. Had I gotten that drunk?? I was buzzed throughout the night, sure… but I didn’t remember getting drunk. Shit. Did I black out? Oh no. Oh, god, how embarrassing!! I racked my brain trying to remember…. The last thing I recalled was taking that photo as a group, Jack and the band…. And then… nothing.

I didn’t remember how we got home. How I got into these pajamas, how I ended up wrapped in Eveline’s fingers. Her warm breath cascading down on me in slow rhythms. I realized, embarrassed, that she must’ve changed my clothes for me. My face flushed hot. What else had I said or done to make myself look like an idiot? What a shitty way to fuck up an amazing night! I rolled over, trying to get myself to go back to sleep, when I felt her murmur and shift, her grey green eyes opening, looking down at me. “Hey, little man…” she mumbled, half asleep. She rubbed my hair with her finger tip. “How ya feeling?” I moaned. “That bad huh?”

I nodded my head up and down, sticking out my lower lip. She couldn’t help laughing at my sorry state, “Awwww, poor little baby! You seem a lot more sober now, though, so that’s good!” Ugh! I smacked my face with my hands hiding my eyes. “Oh! Oh don’t be embarrassed! You were absolutely fucking adorable!!” I groaned. “You were! You kept stumbling all over yourself and telling everyone how much you liked them!” I groaned even louder. “Ha! You even told Riley, because you didn’t realize I was right behind you that you thought I had pretty eyes…” Oh god! That was actually bad. My face stung with red hot embarrassment. She didn’t need to know that I practically fell into the turbulent tidal waves that were her irises every time I looked at them. “Penn? You alright?”

I’d been quiet for too long. I pulled my hands away from my face, looking up at her. “I don’t remember any of that. I must’ve blacked out. How embarrassing!”

She chuckled at me as I rolled over, “Hey you’re just lucky Dani decided to be nice and not film the whole thing on her phone!” I groaned at top volume. “Whatever, sour puss, you didn’t do anything too egregious and you were fabulous the rest of the night. We were all so proud of you.”

I rolled back to face her, shoving at her fingers that encircled my body, “Nuh, uh! You’re just saying that so I’ll stop bitching about it!”

As I shoved at the flesh of her hand, unable to move it at all, she giggled, “Oh you lookin for a fight, little man? You wanna fight me this morning?” She tickled me up and down my rib cage making me burst into laughter, despite my sore body and pounding head. Then with the greatest of ease she pinned each of my flailing arms down above my head with just her fingertips, “Go ahead, fight me! What’re you just laying there for??” I squirmed and writhed.

“No fair! No fair! Time out, time out!” Damn, she was strong, even when she was just playing with me. She let go immediately, replacing the pressure of her fingers with her soft, warm lips on my head. Her touch, so soothing and enveloping helped ease my headache for just a fleeting moment. I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent that surrounded me as deeply as my little lungs would let me.

*******************

I wasn’t as insane about it as Dani, but I loved giving him little kisses. It felt sweet and I hoped it did something to counteract all the abuse he’d experienced before. I wanted him to know some humans could be tender, sweet, gentle. Given his drunken confessions last night, I felt more confident than ever that the message was being delivered. When I pulled my lips away, his eyes were closed as he took a deep breath, a smile on his face. Cute boy.

“You wanna stay here and rest for a bit? I’ve got some illustrations I have to get working on, but I can do that in the living room.” Keeping his eyes closed he nodded his head. “Okay, little man, you sleep off all that alcohol poisoning and feel better, okay? Doctor’s orders!” He couldn’t help the smile playing on his lips. “Good boy. I’ll come check on you in a few hours.” He rolled over curling up as I placed the covers over him.

I padded off to the living room, leaving my door cracked open. After brewing some earl grey with honey for myself, I settled into my usual spot on the couch and grabbed my sketchbook. I had meant to flip straight to my drafts for my latest project, but accidentally flipped to the page where dozens of little Penns peered out at me in graphite lines. I traced my finger over these, some of them about true to life in size. He looked so little. So beside himself with fear. I just remembered how his whole body trembled at practically every new sound or movement. It was hard to imagine the man asleep in the next room was the same as the one shown here. My, how you’ve come into your own, with just a little love and encouragement!

I flipped back to my drafts, and kept working on character designs. As I sketched and re-sketched face shapes, eye placements, proportions, trying to get the right feel for this particular client’s children’s book, I found that every reworking of the little prince character turned more and more into looking like Penn. His mop of hair, his sweet brown eyes…. I couldn’t help smiling to myself. Maybe, with the client’s approval, this character could be a nod to the wonderful tiny man who’d come to shake up my life. I worked for the next few hours, transferring my initial paper sketches to my digital studio. At my desk with my full kit and wide state-of-the-art monitor, these cartoon-y drawings really started to come to life. I had a background in anatomical realism, and that was my preferred style, but that didn’t always pay the bills… illustrations for books, however…. After about three and a half hours had passed, I slipped quietly back into my darkened bedroom.

Peering over the bed, I found a sleeping pet, breath heavy, brow relaxed, lips slightly parted. I wished I’d brought my sketchbook in here now. I wanted to capture this sweet moment. I reached out to lightly stroke his head when he whipped around and growled. I jumped! “Ha ha! Gotcha!!! I heard you crack open the door…” he had a huge, satisfied grin on his face. For once, he’d managed to frighten a human! “Ooh, you totally got me! Just you wait, I’ll get you back for this! When you least expect it!” I winked, sliding on to the bed, propping myself up by my elbows. “How’s the headache treating you?” He had slid up to sitting now, his back resting against my pillow. As I asked, I started to massage his scalp with my fingers, rubbing his temples and across the crown of his head.

He shivered with pleasure. Groaning, “Mmmm, well it feels great right now… do me a favor and just do that forever, okay? Ooh!! That feels amazing!” I loved having my head rubbed like that. I’m glad he enjoyed it too. He kept leaning into the pressure I was applying like a cat, begging for more pets. “My head feels okay. Not 100% but much better.”

I was relieved, “Good. Glad we didn’t accidentally kill you after your first night on the town!” I winked and he chuckled.

“Who knows where I might’ve ended up right now if that girl and her mom had kidnapped me, instead, right?” Where indeed? Hopefully not crumpled up at the bottom of a trash can.

“You wanna come out into the light or stay in here like a good little vampire?” I rested a finger on his chest.

“Oh! Vampire you say? I’d be a very tiny vampire! That would actually make me pretty good at my job! I could sneak up on unsuspecting humans and…” he reeled back and then bit me! He sunk his little teeth into the pad of my finger. I yelped, pulling away.

He laughed hysterically. I was more surprised than in pain, as I looked at the tiny impression of his mouth on my skin, he hadn’t drawn blood or anything. “Look at that! Look how little your teeth are… awwww my teeny tiny vampire… so cute!!!” I pinched his cheeks between my fingers. He laughed right along with me. “C’mon, it’s time to rise and shine, little guy.” He nodded, agreeing, as I picked him up. Seeing his unkempt hangover hair, I remembered I needed to bathe him. “Hey, don’t take this the wrong way, but I think this little pet needs a bath… like now…” I lifted him to my nose, wrinkling it, pretending he stunk.

“Woah, hey! It’s not my fault you thought it would be a good idea to bring me to a packed bar full of drunken, sweaty humans… their nasty stench probably rubbed off on me!” Rolling my eyes, I carried him in to the bathroom, running warm water for his bath.

As I leaned over the bowl of the sink, I had a thought. “You know… I guess you’re more than capable of bathing yourself…. I don’t know why I felt like I had to do it for you… I guess because you were still so cold and hurt that first time… but I don’t want you to feel like I’m treating you like a baby… you want me to give you some privacy?” He looked stunned. He’d probably never ever had the chance to clean himself. He’d probably accepted it as a fact that every time he needed to be cleaned up, he’d be robbed of all his dignity and poked and prodded by giant fingers. “Here….” I filled the bowl up enough to cover him, but where he could easily sit or lie down and not have to tread water. I made sure it had plenty of suds before placing some shampoo, conditioner and body wash in bottle caps, which floated in the water like bath toys for him to use. He’d have to strip and I’d have to pick him up and place him in the water, but that was it. He did so and I picked him up under his arms, lowering him gently into the soapy water, I cast my eyes away from his naked body, trying to give him some shred of dignity.

“All set?” He replied in the affirmative. “Okay, just shout when you’re done and I’ll come help you out of there…. Enjoy your bath!”

As I crossed to the door, his voice sounded again, “Eveline?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for working so hard to treat me with respect and decency. You have no idea what it means to me…”

I bit my lip, “You’re welcome, sweet boy. I know you’d do the same for me…” with that, I stepped away from the bathroom.

*******************

I laid back in the water, the heat an absolute gift to my aching body. It was so quiet. The only sounds were the lapping of the water against the frosted pink sides of the bowl, as well as the distant hum of the air conditioner as it kicked on. Other than that it was just me and my thoughts. Alone. Private. Space to breathe. Space to look at myself. She’d been trying not to stare at me naked, which was very generous of her, but she and I had both forgotten about the bandaids I had on. Now soaking in the water, they felt like strange scratchy patches of skin that had been grafted on to my body. I didn’t really get much of a chance to look at myself, or think about myself as a thing that took up space, however small. Everyone else practically made it their job to comment on and observe my body, my movements, my size. But sitting here comfortably, all to myself, I lifted my arms, wiggling my fingers, watching the muscles of my abdomen bulge as I sat up, rolling my ankles and watching my thighs and calves flex and relax. I pushed my wet hair from my eyes. All in all, I had a nice body. When not compared to a human’s gigantic features, I looked proportional, well built, an attractive specimen. My hands, my feet, my face, didn’t seem so pathetically tiny to me, as I was so often told. It was just everyone else that was so freakishly big.

I leaned back into the warm water, lathering up my hair with shampoo. I chuckled that at a little over thirty years old, this was the first time, I, a fully grown adult, was washing my own hair. It felt strange to have fingers proportional to my skull digging into my scalp rather than one or two massive ones. Thank you, Eveline, for giving me the gift of privacy… it was so nice to do things for myself. I loved the way the shampoo smelled, strong and floral, as I rubbed it in.

I remembered back to that first night, I was wracked with fear, caked in dirt, ice and my own blood, when she had been cleaning me with her fingers and pouring water over my head. Each time she did so, I kept waiting to be cruelly dunked under the water and drowned. I was such a skittish little thing back then, having been so used to alertness and an over-abundance of caution being my only tools to survival in a world that could kill me as easily as swatting a fly.

Things were so much better now than then. Images flashed through my mind of last night’s euphoric magic. Humans. Cheering. Sweat. My aching hands as I played as fast and hard as I could. Heart pounding. Voice soaring. Being a part of something. Wowing them all with that one classic rock riff. Pictures, so many pictures. Drinks. Rowdy crowd. Picked up. Put down. My soul leaving my body to relish in the happiest night of my whole existence. I started to whistle to myself as I washed my body and rinsed my hair. What a lucky pet I was…

I soaked in the water for a bit longer when I heard a soft knock at the door. “Hey… how we doing in here?”

I sat up, ringing out my hair, “Good. This felt amazing, thank you. I’m ready to get out, now.” A hand appeared over the lip of the bowl, descending down. I climbed on, soaking wet, and now a little cold. Still looking away, she handed me a towel to wrap myself in. I snuggled up in it until only my head was showing.

“You can look now… I’m all decent…” I chuckled. How weird. No one had ever respected my privacy when it came to my naked body before. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Eveline was the best owner a pet could ever dare to dream of.

Those eyes, green like the sea after a storm, greeted me with a sparkle in them. “Hi, snuggle bug…” she beamed. I must’ve looked rather cute all bundled up like that, with just my head popping out.

“I’m a snuggle bug now? You’ve got no end to these nicknames do you?”

She leaned forward and kissed my soaking hair, before whispering in my ear, “Nope, tough shit! You’d better just get used to it!” I groaned dramatically, as if that were just the worst news in the world. “Oh quit your crying!” She played along, finger extended like some hard-lined disciplinarian. I stuck my tongue out in defiance. These games we played, while totally stupid, were one of the things I most looked forward to in this new life I found myself in. There was something about playing with her, consensually, as an equal, safely, that made me feel so much closer to her, empowered, accepted. You couldn’t banter with someone who wasn’t worth your time, after all.

She placed me in my drawer to pick my outfit for the day. I went with something super casual, grey sweat pants and a long sleeve electric blue shirt. Comfy and simple. I clamored up the wall of the drawer, leaning over with the edge digging in under my arm pits, my toes curling as I held myself in place. I waved dramatically, gripping for dear life with one arm, like I was signaling an airplane on where to land. “Hey! All done over here!”

She stopped tidying her bed as she heard me call. “Look at you, Spider-Man! How’d you crawl up there?” She leaned down putting her hands on her knees as she dropped to look into my eyes. “Let’s see the fashion choices for today!” She gripped the back of my shirt with her fingers and lifted me up, my bare feet kicking at the air between us in a half-assed protest. “Ahh, very chic, comfy casual today, I see! Very nice!” With a easy flick of her wrist, she swung my body over onto her palm, before leaning in, and planting a kiss right on my stomach. My heart stopped as the heat from her soft lips pressed down on my abs, her sweet, hot breath surrounding my whole body. She was so close to me, practically melting into me. My heart thundered in my chest.

This was like the previous morning when she’d bitten into the edge of my shirt, pulling in as close as she could to me. Now, just like then, my face flushed red as I tried desperately to deny what I could feel was happening to me. Arousal. It was wrong. So so wrong. I knew that. A pathetic little toy for humans to toss around until they broke, to be attracted to a human woman…. It was simply off limits. Sure it wasn’t completely unheard of, especially not in porn… but it was still wildly unacceptable. I knit my brow, wishing with every fiber of my being for this feeling to disappear. I wished she wouldn’t linger over my body. Just go away, please! She released me, finally, after what felt like a lifetime of agony.

“I’m sorry, I got too close again didn’t I?” She frowned, clearly disappointed. “You’ve made so much progress that I forget you can still be afraid of me at all. I’m sorry little guy, I didn’t mean to be a big scary monster…”

She thought she was frightening me… if only she knew the truth! I was frightening myself! I just shook my head, staring at the surface of her palm like my life depended on it. There was an uncomfortable silence. She finally broke it, “I… I made lunch? You want something to eat?”

#tiny vampire #Lunch makes everything better right? #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t related #g/t angst #g/t writing #g/t fluff #sfw g/t

[unfinishedsweetsimphony]

oh, it’s you!

[requested by anon]

~Sapnap x Reader~

Summary: After all this time, the red string of fate led to him...who knew?

Genre: uGH FLUFF AGAIN with a sprinkle of angst

Pronouns: They/Them (Gender-Neutral)

Warnings: Cursing and capital letters but other than that there shouldn’t really be any. 

[a/n: First Sapnap fic, LET’S GOO!! Ugh, red string of fate was a bit of challenge to write but also fun. This is loosely based on the Dream and Sapnap meetup (i’m still in doubt because the vlog fiasco gave me trust issues) I apologize for the late posting, school is already on my ass. Thank you anon for requesting, I hope you like this <3 Edit: Sapnap expressed that he does not like being referred to his first name so I will be making changes!]

(Y/N) remembers the first time they saw their string. It was a cold winter day in their quiet town. (Y/N) was just a small child then, giggling as they make mini snowmen to accompany their snow angels. A line of red startled them, thinking that they hurt themselves or someone else. Upon close inspection it was a string with one end wrapped around their left pinkie and the other end trailing off into the unknown. 

Unsurprisingly, they freaked out because their kid brain thought that someone caught them on a fishing line and is about to eat them, so they ran home and told their parents. (Y/N) tried to show it to their parents, but they couldn’t see it. That didn’t change the knowing glimmer in their parent’s eyes. A look was exchanged between them before they sat (Y/N) down to explain soulmates to them.

After that day (Y/N) were so excited to meet their soulmate. They remember going around their class telling their friends about it. They remember their friends getting their strings too and following the thread. 

(Y/N) remembers feeling left behind when their friends started find their soulmates. (Y/N) remembers running to find the other end of the string, the heavy backpack and heart slowing them down just a little. ‘Maybe around this corner?’, they thought as they went down another road. They started looping the string around their hand with hope that it would go taut, only to be discouraged by the red glove reaching their shoulder. The feeling of loneliness and frustration setting in as they grow up.

◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━ ━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○��━ ━◦○◦━◦○◦

Now, fast forward to college. (Y/N) is staring at their string instead of doing their essay. They thought about following the string again, but they’re broke and on borrowed time at the moment. (Y/N) lets out a tired sigh as their fingers mindlessly play with the string. ‘If I stare at my computer screen long enough, the essay might just write itself.’, (Y/N) squints at the blank word document. Then a notification interrupted their glaring.

‘Yo, you online? Dream and I are playing bedwars.’, reads Sapnap’s message. ‘Omg dude it’s almost like there is a status thing on people’s profile for a reason 🙄’, (Y/N) teased. ‘Well it’s green now, so join the damn call 🙄🙄🙄”, he fired back. (Y/N) decided to fuck it and do the essay later, and joined the call.

◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━ ━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━ ━◦○◦━◦○◦

After a couple of rounds of bedwars, Dream brought up the idea of meeting up. “Yeah, like we’ve all been friends for a while now and it’s about time y’know?”, Dream casually knocks off a purple player off their base. Sapnap and (Y/N) agreed. The trio continue talking about it more before deciding on a place to meet. They stop playing Minecraft and start looking for accommodations and plane tickets.

(Y/N) grimaced at the price of their plane ticket. “Guys, I don’t think I can afford this trip.”, the sound of their crestfallen voice concerning the boys. “Hey, don’t worry about it, I’ll meet you halfway.”, Sapnap offered, “I’m still riding off of Dream’s donation money”, which earned a wheeze from the man. (Y/N) thanked him profusely and they decided to split the bill on the Airbnb three ways. 

“Ok guys, I really got to go. I got to pack and I have an essay due.”, (Y/N) stretched to crack their bones back into place after sitting for so long. “Sounds good. Good luck, I hope you finish!”, Sapnap smiled. “That’s what she said!”, (Y/N) kids, “See ya Clay. Bye, bye Sappy!”

Sapnap is relieved that they couldn’t see the dumb grin on his blushing face. Clay could tell anyway and teased him about it accordingly.

◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━ ━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━ ━◦○◦━◦○◦

Today’s the day. (Y/N) just landed and made their way to baggage claim. They decide to call up Nick since he was picking them up. “Hey! How was your flight?”, Sapnap greeted. (Y/N) grabbed their luggage off the conveyor, “It was alright. To be honest, I fell asleep for most of the flight. But I woke up before the plane touched down so I got some cool pictures of the sky and city.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.”, Sapnap parked the car he rented and headed towards (Y/N)’s gate, “I’m on my way to you right now-”

“Sapnap, my string.”, (Y/N) stared at the red line. Taut. “My soulmate is nearby.”, (Y/N) is in shock. Sapnap snapped them out of it, “Well? What are you waiting for? Go after them!”

And they did. (Y/N) booked it through the airport, their baggage clumsily rolling behind them. The red sting string soon led them to the gate’s entrance. Their eyes searching frantically until they landed on a hand with a red string wrapped around their pinky. 

The person turned around and it’s...Sapnap.

“Oh, it’s you.”, Sapnap smiled at (Y/N)’s gaping stare. (Y/N) raised their hand, their eyes motioned towards his hands before he finally got the hint, “Oh. OH, IT’S YOU!”

#dream fucking lost it #dream: I KNEW IT #karl is punching the air rn #feedback is always appreciated #sapnap #sapnap x reader #sapnap imagines #sapnap fanfiction #sapnap oneshots #mcyt #dream smp #tw cursing #tw capital letters

[qqueenofhades]

Everytime I read "Nicolo di Genova" my brain glitches and I read "Nicolo do Genovia" instead so /whispers/ Kaysanova Princess Diaries AU?

...yes. Did someone say Gay Champagne Romcom? Because that is my Brand.

Nicolò is an Italian-American graduate student living in New York City with his widowed Italian mother and working on an engineering degree at NYU. He was thinking about joining the priesthood for a few years and recently dropped out of seminary and is feeling that Millennial Crisis that all of us know about. He has gone on a few Tinder/Grindr dates, but it’s hard enough to meet someone in this city even when you’re not a gay ex-priest engineering student living in his mother’s rent-controlled apartment in Morningside Heights because have you seen the property prices in New York. Plus WHENEVER he brings a nice boy home, HEY PRESTO there’s his mom waiting eagerly up in the front room, “NICOLÒ WHO IS THIS HANDSOME YOUNG MAN, DOES HE HAVE GOOD PARENTS, IS HE A CATHOLIC NICOLÒ” and of course that instantly kills any kind of romantic mood. Nicolò is like “let’s just go over to yours PLEASE.” But he tends not to see his dates again anyway, and it’s equally depressing, and it’s nice that his mom isn’t homophobic or anything, but he’d like to just meet someone without his mother instantly planning the Big Fat Gay Italian Wedding, and yes he knows this is a nice problem to have but STILL

Anyway, then of course the Dead Dad Circus rolls into town, and Nicolò learns that he’s not actually the son of a nice hardworking Italian immigrant, but of His Serene Highness Prince Domenico Grimaldi of Genovia, who wouldn’t you know it, has recently died too young from cancer and left no legitimate heir except the result of his rebellious teen fling with a cocktail waitress in Capri – which would be, you guessed it, Nicolò. While Nicolò is still processing the horrifying mental image of his mother being a cocktail waitress in Capri and having to look up Genovia on a map, the rest of the royal machine is kicking into overdrive. This involves a very awkward meeting in a very fancy Manhattan hotel with Nicolò’s magnificent but rather out-of-touch royal grandmother, Her Serene Highness The Queen Mother Maria Elisabetta Henrietta Julia Victoria Mignonette Grimaldi of Genovia. She’s basically Julie Andrews because obviously. She informs Nicolò of his Solemn Duty to return to Genovia and become Prince Nicolò and eventually be prepared to take the throne and submit to a fascinating life of minor European royal family ribbon-cutting duties. Oh, and getting married and producing more heirs to the throne, on pain of breaking a thousand-year-old bloodline, though she doesn’t say this out loud. Her loyal right-hand man, driver, and general bodyguard/fixer/man about town, Sebastien le Livre aka Booker, gives Nicolò various sympathetic looks but does not interrupt.

Nicolò obviously freaks out and runs off to call up his best friend at NYU, Andy. Andy is some indeterminate degree of years older than him, in some indeterminable stage of her Classics PhD, and sometimes says weird things like how badly the Library of Alexandria had already been defunded by the Roman emperors before it finally burned, like she was there and holds a personal grudge about it. She is a cranky vodka-drinking lesbian who rides a motorcycle, gets them into periodic scrapes, and understands his shit dating life. She deeply empathizes with all his “I’m not going to run away and leave my life in New York to become part of some creakingly antique regressive imperial monarchic system of racist and homophobic oppression, NO SIR!” Fight the power, Nicolò. Fuck those guys.

Of course, however, Julie Andrews Grandmother Maria prevails and Nicolò is forced to take Prince Lessons, which he hates but tries to be a good sport about, because, well, he’s Nicolò and he’s a good person. He is then whisked off on a private plane to Genovia, because they want to see him in situ before they make a final decision on accepting him as their prince. There of course we have the high-life palaces and parks and snooty clueless aristocrats who look at Nicolò like he’s a prize racehorse and have absolutely zero clue, none, nada, about the real world. Just as Nicolò is about to firmly decide that this is a complete crock of shit and he’s going back to NYU, he meets….

Prince Yusuf “call me Joe” al-Kaysani.

Joe is a minor member of one of the Middle Eastern royal families, some fictional tiny Gulf kingdom that is super SUPER oil rich. He has a title and a lot of money but doesn’t have a clearly defined role in the family, other than that he’s been ordered not to embarrass it. Nicky does not know this when they first meet, but obviously it’s not possible to be an out gay prince in a conservative Arabian-peninsula Islamic kingdom, and therefore the fixers have arranged for Joe to be publicly dating a daughter of the Malaysian sultan, Quynh. (We are making her Malaysian in this instance so she can also be Muslim and hence an appropriate match for Joe.) Except Princess Quynh is also hella lesbian and is getting the same thing out of the fake dating with Joe that he is, i.e. throwing people off the scent of their real selves. They spend their time together in private eating popcorn, commiserating about their lives and crazy royal families and the press invading their privacy, watching romcoms, and Judging the Straights. They’re actually best friends and text each other all the time, so at the royal function where Joe runs into the stiff and nervous and clearly overcompensating New Guy who’s evidently the New Prince of Genovia, and oh my god Q he’s the Most stuck up person I’ve EVER MET, Quynh is the first to hear ALL about it. She immediately suspects that Joe doth protest too much.

Meanwhile, Nicky meets Nile Freeman, another young American (from Chicago, obvs) who is working at some important EU institution currently headquartered in Genovia. They also hit it off and Nile tells Nicky about the things she wants to do to help change the world and why she’s here, and he is moved by her kindness and altruism and remembers that that was what he wanted too, and why he joined the priesthood in the first place. He opens up to her about the shock of learning the truth about his now-dead dad and the crazy whirlwind he’s been sucked into and how he doesn’t know what to do, and their friendship is beautiful and we love it.

Meanwhile, of course, Nicky and Joe keep running into each other and getting on each other’s nerves, Nicky is thisclose to calling up Booker and ordering him to deport Joe because why is he always here (Booker, of course, will eventually become a secret ally in helping them see each other, but that is not quite yet). There is some Shenanigan where they end up both getting into trouble, Grandmother Julie Andrews is not amused, and finally they are forced to sit next to each other for a whole state dinner and Be Polite, because Genovia is trying to forge better relations with Joe’s kingdom. (Genovia is tiny, ancient, and broke, Joe’s kingdom has obviously a ton of money, there are old historical ties between them, some Genovians traveled to the kingdom in the past, Genovia’s trying to improve its human rights record and take in more refugees, etc. Nile is also helping with this last). So Nicky and Joe get ordered to fake a highly convincing bromance and pretend they’ve been best buddies all along (think Red White and Royal Blue) and that means they have to actually learn about each other and spend time together and ugh, he’s a spoiled rich playboy brat, and ugh, he’s a clueless American who thinks he’s better than us, and…

Oh no.

Yes, of course they fall in love, they deny it as hard as they can, Nile and Quynh and Booker are all increasingly exasperated by their attempts to pretend they’re not, and finally they kiss and make love and admit their feelings and that they want to be together. Then of course they get outed by some scheming evil cabinet minister (Merrick) who doesn’t want Nicky to become king and disapproves of him dating (gasp) a MUSLIM WHO IS ALSO A MAN, and there’s a huge scandal and a ton of drama and the usual Romcom Breakup Angst as they decide whether they can still see each other. Andy flies out to Genovia to comfort Nicky, Booker has a Word With The Queen, and Joe hides in his room until Quynh (along with Nile, who she’s met and hit it off with) appears to tell him that he has to be brave, she’ll help.

Anyway, etc etc., Drama, “I love him no matter what, if you don’t accept him you don’t accept me and your STUPID BLOODLINE CAN CHOKE” speeches from Nicky, Julie Andrews sees the light, they decide that Nicky and Joe can keep seeing each other, and it’s all rather sweet. There’s a lot of public relations to be managed and whether Joe’s family is going to disown him and what this will mean for the whole international relations thing, but… one thing at a time.

Nicky agrees to become Prince of Genovia as long as he can be with Joe, Joe decides that hey, he likes Nile too and there’s plenty of meaningful work to be had here and the three of them can join forces to do good things and he’s going to stay, and the Genovian public obviously comes around and loves them. Nobody can find Princess Quynh. It’s rumored she ran off to America with a cranky vodka-drinking PhD student of indeterminate age and was last seen on the back of a motorcycle heading west.

Everyone lives happily and gayly ever after.

The End.

#the old guard fanfiction #joe x nicky #kaysanova #anonymous #ask

[swimyghost]

Snazz's Birthday Bash

TODAY IS @holyfandomsnazz 's birthday today! EVERYONE WISH THEM A HAPPY B-DAY!

@self-insert-nonsense @wickedhellagoodtime ARE HERE TOO!

The heat was getting to everyone. Even though the region was known for its cooler summers compared to the rest of the country, the wave of moist warmth was ruining the entire Roomies' day.

"Swimy," Snazz said, their blonde hair frazzled and covering their weary eyes, "did you pay the goddamn rent for the electric bill?"

"Unfortunately, until I get my ID, I'm still a minor in the eyes of the law," the recently made adult replied, pulling their blue hair away from their sweat covered brow, "so, no, I didn't pay the fucking electrical bill,"

"Well, couldn't you have gotten your ID earlier!?" Snazz shouted.

"I wasn't eighteen until three days ago, genius!" Swimy fired back.

Formerly lounging on the couch, the pair were now locked in a fierce glaring match with both of them looking like they were ready to fight each other.

"You're the adult here, why didn't you pay!?" Swimy yelled.

"Because I haven't been paid yet!"

"Neither have I!"

"Enough!"

A pink-haired figure stepped out into the living room with a tired, yet annoyed, look on their face. In her hand was a paper bag with the name 'SIN' scrawled on the forehead which was dotted with sweat stains. Their floral patterned shirt was just as ruffled as Swimy's hoodie and Snazz's gray shirt. Putting both hands on their hips, the eldest member of the roommates frowned at the duo.

"Do you want us to get another noise complaint?"

"No," Snazz grumbled, leaning back into the couch.

"But Dawn-" Swimy started.

"No buts!" Dawn interrupted, "it's already hard enough to find a four-bedroom apartment in our price range, I don't need you guys making it harder,"

Snazz raised their hand, "Technically my room is a former closet,"

Dawn turned their gaze away, clearly embarrassed, "It still counts,"

"Why can't we just ask your boy toy to help us out?" Swimy questioned.

"Karamatsu is just as much in a financial struggle as us and you know that," Dawn said with an even deeper frown.

"What's the point of a man if you can't even get him to pay your rent?" Snazz muttered.

All three went silent for a few moments before Dawn sighed, "I get my Patreon money at midnight. When is the latest we can pay?"

"The sixteenth," Swimy replied.

"And what day is it today?"

"The fourteenth,"

"Okay, so tomorrow I need to-"

"Oh shit really?" Snazz said, their eyes wide.

Both Swimy and Dawn blinked in confusion. "Is that a problem?" Dawn asked.

"No, no, it's not that," the blonde waved their hand nonchalantly, "I just... Well... It's my birthday tomorrow,"

"What?!" Swimy exclaimed, "I didn't know your birthday was in the same month as mine!"

"I- We're siblings how did you forget!?" Snazz said with their nose scrunched up.

"You know I'm bad with dates!"

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Dawn asked, ignoring Swimy's outburst.

"Hey, I forgot it myself," Snazz raised their hands defensively, "besides... It's not like we celebrated it much anyway,"

The oldest and youngest of the Roomie siblings glanced awkwardly at each other as an uncomfortable silence fell over the group. Several moments passed before Snazz stood up with a grunt. "I got commissions to finish. I'll pay the rent with that next time. Later,"

Dawn reached out to grab hold of their sibling, but they managed to dodge their grasp and entered their room swiftly, closing it with a soft thud. While the apartment was dead still, Dawn and Swimy rushed over to one another and began talking in hushed tones.

"How could you forgot Snazz's birthday!?" the pink-haired singer whispered angrily.

"You forgot it too, don't you try and deny it!" Swimy countered back in an equally low voice.

"Well... Did you get them a present?" Dawn asked anxiously.

"I forgot that Snazz's birthday was even this month, did you really think I'd get them a gift?!"

"Well, I don't have anything either!"

The two sighed, but their emotions were still running high. They had under twenty-four hours to purchase a gift for their sibling with the little amount of money all of them had, all while a desert-like heat filled the region in its unbearable cloud of misery.

"Alright, get your shoes on and try to get Sam out of their room," Dawn ordered, referencing their other sibling.

"What for?" Swimy asked, already reaching for their shoes near the old front door.

"Because we need to go out and get Snazz a gift before it's too late! They already probably think we're a bad sibling so we need to hurry and get something they like!" Dawn explained.

"Alright, alright, keep your voice down!" Swimy hissed, glancing over at Snazz's room.

Dawn nodded and began putting on her shoes while Swimy rushed over to the third oldest Roomie sibling. They grimaced at the yellowing paint on the walls as they swiftly knocked on the door.

"Sam. Sam! I know you're in there and we need you!" the blue-haired teen begged.

"...Go away," a muffled voice stated tiredly.

"Sam, we forgot about Snazz's birthday! All of us need to go find a gift for them!"

"...I'll search online for something. I'll Venmo you some money,"

"Ugh! Why won't you just come out!?"

"...Too hot. Too bright,"

"...That's fair,"

"What did they say?" Dawn asked, all ready to go. Swimy walked over to them with a huff.

"They said they'll look online for something," Swimy complained.

"Let me guess, it's too hot for them?" Dawn guessed.

"Bingo,"

"Well," the eldest sister sighed, "we don't have time to argue. We have a birthday to save!"

"Alright! Let's do it!"

---

"We're not going to be able to do it!"

Dawn looked down at the completely worn-out Swimy, watching as sweat rained down off their body onto the asphalt road as they were uncomfortably hunched over. Their blue hoodie was completely ruined hours earlier and had been tied around their waist in a desperate amount to stay cool, revealing a Mothman T-shirt underneath the read "Eat. Sleep. Lurk.".

"C'mon, one more store," Dawn said with exhaustion seeping into her voice. Her floral pattern blouse and her skirt were completely soaked in sweat and her skin was beet red. Still, determination held strong in her green eyes as she tried to pull her sibling up.

"No! No more stores! We've been into too many stores!" Swimy whined, resisting their sister's efforts.

"We need to find a birthday present!" Dawn argued.

"And I need to find a new therapist but you don't see me spending nearly four hours walking in unbearable heat to find one!" Swimy growled, motioning towards the setting sun, "besides, I think Snazz is starting to think our "double date" excuse is a little suspicious,"

Dawn sighed, "I know... But we need to prove we care about them. Just one gift will be enough,"

Swimy's eyes darted to the side, "I care too... But don't you think that maybe I caused Snazz's forgetfulness? That I'm the one to blame?"

"Pardon?"

"I mean," Swimy looked uncomfortable, "I was the youngest and born literally four days before their birthday. Snazz's birthday has always been overshadowed by me, the "baby" of the family,"

"Swimy-"

"What if... What if I'm the reason Snazz forgot? That I've been a terrible sibling this whole time and I've been blissfully unaware? That I've been able to happily celebrate my birth while they've been forgotten,"

Dawn, nothing tears welling up in their eyes, pulled Swimy close, "Don't talk like that. I doubt Snazz blames you for your birthday or the fact we never celebrated theirs as much as kids. If anything, they should blame Mom and Dad for that. You have nothing to do with this,"

"But... We if they do blame me?"

"Then we have to show Snazz the perfect gift!" Dawn gave her young sibling a tight squeeze, "What do you say? One more store?"

"...Yeah, one more," Swimy looked up concerned, "but how are we going to find one that-"

Suddenly, Swimy's phone went off with a loud buzz. Startled, the pair broke apart while Swimy awkwardly fumbled around with it. There was a single text sent by Sam:

I'm making a pie. I also found something Snazz will most definitely like.

Attached was an address to a nearby store. Sin blinked in surprise after she looked it up.

"It's a weird occult and true crime store. What does this have to do with a birthday present?"

"Who cares!?" Swimy proclaimed with a big grin, "we have a lead! And you said we needed to look in one more store!"

Dawn, still looking unconvinced, simply nodded, "If you say so,"

With that, the pair took off, ignoring the shouts and glares of passerby's. Dawn and Swimy managed to weave their way through tight alleys and crowds with ease with their newfound energy. It wasn't long before the two were situated outside a dark-colored store with black tinted windows. Crystals and occult symbols were carefully hung visibly through the glass. While Swimy appeared eager, Dawn seemed less than sure.

"You okay?" Swimy asked.

"Yeah just... It's creepy," Dawn shivered.

"...I'm married to Death's ferrywoman, Dawn," Swimy lifted their hand, showing off their black and silver wedding ring.

"That's different!"

"It really isn't,"

"Fuck off!" the pink-haired girl shoved Swimy into the store.

Inside was surprisingly bright which went against the darkness of the clothes, books, and crystals. The wood made a hollow thud with every step. Shelves were spaced in rows that carried various occult items. Walls were lined by clothes and posters containing demons or hard-core metal bands to-

"Is that Al Capone?" Dawn pointed at a poster.

"Yeah... And that's Haurkichi Yamaguchi," Swimy motioned to another poster, referencing the creator and former head of the Yamaguchi-gumi yakuza organization.

"Ahem,"

The Roomies siblings turned and, across the store, was a teenaged Japanese cashier. She had a combination of boredom and exasperation as she parted her black hair from her eyes. "Welcome to Crimes and the Concealed, a true crime and occult experience where there is something for everyone," she waved her hands less than amused for a supposed to be dramatic effect.

"Uh... Thanks," Dawn replied, nudging Swimy forward.

"If you buy one poster, the other is 15% off,"

"Thank you! But we're looking for something else!" Dawn hastily shoved Swimy into the back of the store, away from the prying eyes of the cashier, who seemed equally glad not to deal with them.

"That was rude," Swimy glared

"Sorry! This whole shop gives me the creeps," Dawn whined.

"I'm never taking you on a double date to the Underworld," Swimy muttered, blissfully unaware of the sound of the store door opening.

The siblings went looking for something buy, pouring over the many candles and strange objects as the setting sun remained a looming reminder of their limited time. After looking at the fifteenth crystal necklace, Dawn was about to give up when Swimy let out a gasp. Dawn instantly turned and was stunned to see what was hanging in the corner of the store.

Body pillows. Over a dozen body pillows of famous gangsters and criminals from Billy the Kid to Calogero Vizzini to Pablo Escobar, the rather morbid idea of placing known men that went outside the law for their evil deeds in alluring poses made the two shiver. But the one that caught their eye was the lone female in the mix. Long lavender hair matched her dazzling amber eyes. She donned a pirate outfit with a black corset that complimented her figure. Black boots with gold accents that reached to her knees, similar to how her all-knowing smirk reached across her face.

Dawn reached out and touched the pillow, "That's... Snazz's girlfr-"

"MY WAIFU!"

Suddenly, two large men shoved past the Roomie siblings. One had thick-rimmed and lens glasses with a greasy ponytail and sweat and grease-stained shirt that showed a bunch of underage anime girls in tight clothing and the other looked similar but had shorter black hair with glasses that blocked out his eyes and was slightly skinnier than his friend but still wore questionable attire.

"Oh my dear waifu, how I've looked for you for so long!" the ponytail man wailed, almost crying on the pillow.

"Hey! We had our hand on it first!" Swimy said, shoving past their older sister and glaring at the men.

"Eh!? What would two normies want with this?!" the smaller of the two gasped, his green jacket fluttering with the sudden movement showing that he had two anime girls sitting on their knees with one only wearing an open suit and fedora and the other an Italian suit with a cigar in her mouth.

"Did you use normies unironically?" Swimy muttered with disgust.

"You two don't get it clearly!" the larger man snorted, "If you were real fans of Chibi Wakai Gyangu No On'nanoko, you'd understand how rare this pillow this is!"

"Chibi Young Gangster Girls?" Dawn repeated the title, confused.

Both men turned their attention to Dawn. The ponytail man spoke first, "It's an anime where all the famous gangsters are turned into cute little girls! But the modern-day pirate mob boss can't be added because she keeps targeting the animation studio anytime they try!"

"I wonder why?" Swimy rolled their eyes.

"Quiet pipsqueak!" The jacketed man yelled.

"Easy, Kurai," the larger man leaned into Swimy's personal space, "those this one look like Al Capone-chan?"

Kurai blinked then let out a small smile, "She does, Terro! All she has to do is change her hair and-"

"It's 'they' and you stay away from my sibling!" Dawn shouted, pulling Swimy behind them.

"Shut up, pinkie! You have no right to judge since you're cosplaying that Sin idol!" Terro shouted.

"Their boobs are clearly fake! They're such a fake cosplayer she can't even get her most noticeable features!" Kurai pointed out.

Dawn gasped and wrapped her arms around her chest. Swimy leaped forward and practically hissed at the two, "We're taking that pillow and you're going to leave us alone, or else!"

Terro sneered, "Or else what?"

With the snap of their fingers, a bright blue beam of blue particles swirled around Terro's head. He tried to swat them away, but the blue solidified and turned into a dense water bubble around his head that spun like a cyclone. He tried to scream but inhaled a bunch of water instead. Kurai immediately went on the defense and tried the grab hold of Swimy. Dawn, realizing that talking wouldn't be successful here, stepped aside as Swimy leaped backward and willed her hand into a fiery blaze. With a primal scream, she slapped him full force, sending both him and his glasses flying in opposite directions. A bright red handprint was left on his face. A sudden gasp alerted the siblings that the water bubble had burst. Before they could react, Terro was on top of Swimy and trying to hold them down.

"You crazy bitch!" He screamed, trying to land a hit on the smaller person.

Swimy used their free leg to deliver a swift kick to the stomach before headbutting him off them. He groaned in pain and rolled onto his side. Dawn took this opportunity to light her foot ablaze and slam it down right onto his crotch. He howled in pain as his pants and his manhood were burned by the attack.

"Get the Hell out of here before we do worse!" Dawn ordered, readying their fists with Swimy following close behind.

Whimpering, the two took off running, leaving behind Kurai's set of glasses and several clothes that had fallen during the scuffle. Tired, Swimy grabbed hold of the body pillow and trudged towards the register. The cashier trembled as they set it down.

"W-Will that be all?" she stuttered.

"Yeah," Swimy replied bluntly.

The cashier nodded and quickly rung up the pillow. She practically shoved the item into Swimy's arms and nearly dove under the counter. Dawn rested a weary hand on Swimy and sighed.

"C'mon, let's get out of here before the cops arrive. We have a birthday to save,"

---

All Snazz wanted to do was sleep. Not only had they remembered that their birthday was a thing but they had spent the whole night trying to finish commissions in an attempt to forget it again. Even though their body was worn out, their mind was rushing with memories of all the birthdays that were forgotten of the years.

It's like they never cared Snazz thought.

They rolled onto their side for the hundredth time that night, trying to force sleep to come. What they didn't expect was their door to suddenly slam open and a large weight crashing onto their side.

"Oof! What the fuck-!"

"Wake up, sleepyhead! Time to have the best day you've ever had!"

"...Swimy?" Snazz looked up, seeing the smiling face of their youngest sibling looking down on them. They had thick eyebags that hung from under their eyes that balanced out their high amounts of enthusiasm radiating off them.

"Do you know another blue-haired bitch that's related to you? Now come on before I drag you out!" Swimy exclaimed, pulling on Snazz's shirt sleeve.

"I'm still I'm my pajamas and I haven't even showered!" Snazz argued, trying to resist their pulling.

"You also haven't cleaned your room in two weeks but you aren't worried about that!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck yourself!"

With the help of both their powers and natural strength, Swimy managed to help drag Snazz out of their bed and made them cover their eyes.

"This is stupid," Snazz grumbled.

"You're stupid but I love you anyway. To the kitchen!" Swimy shoved Snazz forward.

After several near attempts of Snazz crashing into a wall and one toe snubbing, they made it to the kitchen with Snazz less than amused.

"This better be good,"

"It is! Now... Open!"

Snazz did so and gasped. Not only was their favorite pie, chocolate coconut perfectly sat on their rickety table, but a large wrapped present was sitting beside it. Snazz and Sam, wearing their infamous multi-colored gradient mask, stood there with birthday poppers and wide grins.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SNAZZ!" all three siblings shouted, pulling the poppers and sending cheap confetti everywhere. Instead of being excited, Snazz stood there motionless with a blank expression. After a brief pause, Sam leaned over and whispered into Swimy's ear.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Swimy whispered back.

"Swimy," Sin said sternly.

"I didn't! Honest!"

Sam crossed their arms, "Well why are they-"

Wails exploded from Snazz as fat tears ran down their face. Immediately, all of their siblings rushed over and began to comfort them.

"Is it the pie? Is the pie not good enough?" Swimy asked nervously.

"I made that fucker by hand! It's perfect!" Sam yelled.

"Well if I have to be blamed for something so do you!" Swimy yelled back.

"Was it the poppers? God, I knew they were a bad idea!" Dawn nearly pulled their hair due to stress.

"You wanna go?" Sam snarled.

"Yeah, let's go!" their blue-haired sibling smirked, readying their fists.

Snazz grabbed all three of them and pulled them into a tight hug pile on the floor. Still crying, they managed to choke out a few words.

"I-I'm so happy! Y-You did a-all of this fo-for me!"

"Of course we did! We love you Snazz!" Dawn said, flinching as Snazz began to cry harder.

"C'mon, open the gift!" Swimy said, pulling the present down to the group.

Snazz didn't hesitant into tearing it open. They gasped in shock when they saw what it was.

"Is this my girlfriend? On a... Body pillow?"

"Don't ask how we got her," Dawn butted in.

"I-"

"Don't. Ask."

"I- Alright. Thank you. It's a lovely gift," Snazz said, setting it aside.

"Let's eat the damn pie already. I spent all night working on it so let's put it to good use," Sam said, standing up.

"I'll get the plates!" Sin called over her shoulder.

"Lemme get the forks and knives!" Swimy started to rush over to the drawers.

While the three started to gather everything for their meal, Snazz watched them fondly. They grabbed ahold of their new gift and squeezed it tightly.

Whatever being rules this hell of a universe... Thank you for my siblings... And thank you for this birthday.

#happy birthday snazz! #tw assualt #hope you like it

[pikapeppa]

Professor Solas/Lavellan: First Impressions

Chap 1 of Inadvisable (professor Solas AU) is posted! In which Nare Lavellan has a chance run-in, literally. 

Beautiful art by Nare’s creator, @elbenherzart​!

~2400 words; read on AO3 instead.

- NARE -

Nare swept her hair into a tidy ponytail, then gave her face one last critical look before stepping out of her bedroom. She tapped lightly on the closed bedroom door across from her own. “Tamaris?” she called. “Are you–”

“I’m coming,” Tamaris grunted. “Give me two fucking minutes.”

Nare smirked at Tamaris’s customary early-morning surliness, then padded quietly down the hall to the living room. Athera was waiting pertly on the couch with a half-finished cup of tea in her hands, and she grinned at Nare as she approached. 

“She’s awake, at least?” Athera asked.

“Awake enough,” Nare said drolly. She sat next to Athera and tucked her legs up on the couch. “Are you nervous about your first day?”

Athera laughed. “Me? Nervous? Of course not! Just a normal first day doing this job for the first time in the only Ancient Elvhen Studies program in the entire country. What’s to be nervous about?”

Nare sympathetically eyed her friend’s bright smile. She didn’t blame Athera for being nervous. Athera had been looking for a research coordinator position for years. Her new job at the University of Orlais was well-earned, in Nare’s opinion, and it was just a stroke of happy fortune that Athera was starting her job at the same time that Nare was starting her Master’s of fine arts with U of O’s prestigious — and infamous — Ancient Elvhen Studies program. 

It was also serendipitous that Tamaris had decided she wanted a change of pace and place, resulting in the three girls splitting the rent on a cozy three-bedroom-plus-studio apartment close to the university.

“Don’t be nervous,” Nare said warmly. “It’s going to be great! By the end of the week, the director will be wondering how they lived without you making the whole lab twice as efficient.”

Athera grimaced and ran a hand through her hair long chestnut hair. “I don’t know. Professor Abelas did not sound that impressed with my lack of experience during the phone interview. I’m still surprised I got the job.”

“He probably thinks he can train you up fresh since you’re so-called ‘inexperienced’,” Nare said knowingly. “He’ll see how good you are in two seconds. I’m sure of it.”

Athera smiled at her. “Aw, you’re sweet. I bet you’re going to impress your new supervisor just as much when you meet with him tomorrow.”

“I hope so,” Nare said. But her belly jolted at the mention of Solas. 

Professor Solas, she reminded herself. Just because she had a crush on her new supervisor’s voice didn’t mean she could start thinking of him in an informal way before they’d even met. 

Oh, but he had such a gorgeous voice. The majority of her communication with Professor Solas had been via email, but the one time they’d spoken on the phone… Fenedhis, Nare couldn’t get it out of her mind. His voice was smooth and mild like a hot vanilla latte, with a curl of an Elvhen accent that made something shiver in her belly in a very visceral way. She was still surprised that she’d managed to keep her calm and sound like a reasonable and intelligent person after hearing Professor Solas’s first few words floating into her ear through the phone. 

And that was just from hearing him talk about the Elvhen art stream of the program and the opportunities for exhibiting her work in the galleries in Val Royeaux. Imagine if he ever spoke to her in that beautiful smooth voice about other, less professional things… 

Stop it, she scolded herself silently. She was being so stupid and horny, developing a crush on a man purely for his voice. Well, not just his voice: he was incredibly intelligent and knowledgeable, and strong-willed to the point of stubborn as well, if his academic position papers were anything to go by. But if Nare was being honest, his intelligence wasn’t the main thing that had been keeping her up at night for the past couple of months since she and Solas had last spoken on the phone. 

It was stupid to be thinking such carnal things about his voice, though. She didn’t even know what he looked like — not for a lack of trying to find out, if she was perfectly honest. She’d searched online for a photo of her soon-to-be supervisor, but he didn’t have a faculty photo anywhere on the U of O website, and a Google search had been shockingly unhelpful, leaving Nare with only a blank slate to imagine along with that knicker-melting voice. 

“Nare, you okay?” Athera said.

Nare jolted slightly, then smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

Athera gave her a shrewd look. “Something tells me I’m not the only one who’s nervous.”

“I thought you weren’t nervous,” Nare teased.

Athera grinned, but Tamaris’s grumpy voice interrupted before Athera could reply. “You guys have nothing to be nervous about. You’re going to impress the shit out of everyone. Now let’s go get some coffee already.” She wandered over to the door and started jamming her feet into her scuffed black motorcycle boots. 

Nare exchanged a smirk with Athera, then popped up from the couch. “Good morning, lethallan,” she crooned. 

Athera giggled and hugged Tamaris’s arm. “Good morning,” she sing-songed.

Tamaris groaned. “Fuck off, both of you. I’m only awake this early because I have a client in an hour.” 

“Wait, is it already nine?” Athera said in alarm. She checked her watch, then squeaked. “Oh shoot! Oh shoot, I’m supposed to meet Abelas at the office in fifteen minutes!” She shoved her feet onto a pair of flats and grabbed her bag, then flung open the door. “Bye! Have a good one!” she yelled, and she bolted down the stairs. 

Nare smiled at Tamaris. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”

“Lucky you,” Tamaris drawled. “You get to suffer my morning-gremlin attitude all alone.”

Nare chuckled, and they made their way down the stairs at a more measured pace and wandered toward their favourite café at the end of the block. 

It was a perfect crisp early-September day. The sun was a lovely warm wash of light, and the air was fresh and cool without being cold. The leaves hadn’t started changing colours yet, but the quality of their verdancy was starting to shift from the lush springlike undertones of blue to the more autumn-like undertones of yellow. When Nare pointed this out to Tamaris, Tamaris huffed in amusement.

“That’s such an artist-y thing to say,” she said. 

Nare gave her a chiding look. “You say that like you aren’t an artist yourself.” She pointedly eyed the delicate vallaslin that curled around Tamaris’s left eye — vallaslin that Tamaris had carefully tapped into her own skin, and the same skills which had imbued Nare and Athera with their vallaslin as well.

“I don’t often work with colour, though,” Tamaris said. 

“Isn’t your client this morning for a coloured tattoo?”

“Yeah, but that’s different than painting,” Tamaris pointed out. 

“Your tattoo work is amazing, though,” Nare said.

Tamaris smirked. “Fine. We’re both amazing artists with mind-blowing skills. Are you going to buy my coffee for me because I’m so awesome?”

“I’m the student here,” Nare said with a grin. “You should be buying me coffee.”

Tamaris tsked. “Fine. Just this once though, you leech.” She pulled open the café door and gestured sarcastically for Nare to enter before her.

Nare chuckled and slid into the café. They placed their orders together, then sat at a sunny table to enjoy their coffee and fresh scones — vegan blueberry for Nare, and lemon-glazed for Tamaris. 

Nare took the lid off of her cup and blew on her coffee. “So you’re coming to the start-of-year mixer tonight, right?”

Tamaris slumped in her seat and shoved a hand through her lush midnight curls. “Explain again why you want me to come to this mixer thing. I’m not a student.”

“It doesn’t matter that you’re not a student,” Nare said. In truth, she just wanted to get Tamaris out of the apartment before she started forming roots.

“It kind of does,” Tamaris said flatly. “It’s happening at the campus bar.”

“Lots of non-students go to the campus bar,” Nare pointed out. “It’s a nice bar.”

Tamaris grunted. Nare leaned toward her slightly. “Come on, Tam,” she wheedled. “Come to the mixer. Athera’s coming.”

“She works at the university now,” Tamaris pointed out. “It makes sense for her to go.”

Nare wilted. “What else are you going to do if you stay home?”

Tamaris’s reply was prompt. “I’ll rewatch The Archdemon Rises 3 for the fifth time and paint my nails.”

Nare declined to mention that Tamaris’s eggplant-purple manicure was still intact since she’d last done her nails two days ago. Instead, she widened her eyes pleadingly. “Please come? We’ll make a girls’ night of it. It’ll be fun, I promise.” 

Tamaris eyed her stonily for a moment, then sighed. “Ugh, you and your baby blues. Fine, I’ll come.” 

Nare beamed at her and took a bite of her scone. A leisurely half-hour later, they stepped out of the café.

Tamaris stretched her arms over her head. “All right, I’m headed home,” she said with a yawn. “You sure you don’t want to wait until tomorrow so we can go to that museum exhibit together?”

Nare shook her head. “I want to see it before my meeting with my supervisor tomorrow.”

Tamaris smirked. “Hoping to impress him with your up-to-date knowledge of the local art scene, huh?”

Nare poked her playfully. “Yes, okay? I want to make a good first impression.”

“You’ll be fine,” Tamaris said. “You always make a good first impression.”

Tamaris’s tone was dry, and Nare gazed fondly at her seemingly standoffish friend. “Thanks,” she said sincerely. “I’ll see you later.” 

Tamaris nodded and headed back to the apartment, and Nare turned in the opposite direction toward the modern art museum. She pulled her phone out of her purse and tapped open her browser to check the price of tickets for the special neo-Avvar exhibit; she was fairly sure she’d get a discounted admission with her student ID, but some of the museum’s special exhibits were even free for students, and Nare couldn’t remember if— 

She suddenly slammed right into someone. 

She stumbled back, then squeaked in alarm as she tripped over an uneven crack in the sidewalk. Her phone dropped from her fingers, and she grabbed for it even as she tried to find her footing, oh no oh shit she was going to fall down–

A strong pair of hands grabbed her arms, and Nare gasped as she regained her balance. “Shit,” she blurted. “I’m so sorry, I – my phone, I was distracted…”

“The fault is mine. I apologize.” 

A heated ripple of recognition spilled down her spine. That voice. She knew that voice. She’d been replaying that voice in her head for months and wondering what the person who owned that voice looked like: how tall he was, how big his hands were, what his lips looked like shaped around the liquids vowels of that divine Arlathani accent… 

Lightheaded with disbelief, her heart in her throat, Nare lifted her eyes to his face.

Her breath left her in a punch of shock. Gorgeous. He was gorgeous. An impeccably shaven head, a mere hint of crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes which put him somewhere in his late 30s or early 40s, lush lips with a perfect cupid’s bow, a delicate divot in his chin and a jawline sharp enough to cut, and his eyes… 

His eyes were perfectly lucid, a perfect quixotic blend of light grey and pale blue that Nare couldn’t quite name, and they were so warm. His eyebrows were creased with a hint of concern, and when the crease in his brow deepened, she realized that she was staring.

“Are you all right?” Professor Solas said. 

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Which was a good thing, because the only words Nare could think were you are fucking hot.

She nodded dumbly. A tiny hint of a smile curled the left corner of his lips, and he released her arms. “I apologize for the collision,” he said, and he crouched down to pick up his book and her phone. “I should know better than to read and walk at the same time.” 

Nare watched stupidly as he rose to his full height. Fenedhis, he was tall.

He held out her phone, and Nare carefully studied his face. There was no recognition there. There was warmth in his handsome face, but no recognition. He didn’t know who she was. 

Not that she would necessarily expect him to, since he was a professional and an intellectual, and professional intellectuals probably didn’t online-stalk their new grad students to find out what they looked like. 

She took her phone with trembling fingers and swallowed hard. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

“You’re welcome,” he said. “You are not hurt, I hope?” 

Ugh, he was so good-looking. Why did her supervisor have to be her exact ideal physical type?

She dropped his gaze and tucked a stray strand of hair over her ear. “I — no. I’m fine,” she said in a tiny voice. 

“Good,” he said. “And again, I apologize for the collision.” 

She shrugged and tried to nod at the same time, then wanted to smack herself for being so fucking awkward.

“Take care,” he said. A moment later, he was walking away from her. 

She finally dragged in a breath and watched greedily as Professor Solas walked away. For someone who had such a mild voice and such kind eyes, his gait was certainly confident. 

Confident and sexy. 

Nare blew out a breath and forced herself to turn away. She was shaking. Why was she shaking? Why was her heart beating so hard, not just in her chest but in her entire body? 

Why was her mind completely taken over by the thought of Professor Solas stretching her naked body out on a desk, those warm grey-blue eyes scanning her from head to toe before he taught her all kinds of torrid lessons that she would never forget? 

Fuck, she thought desperately. I am in so much trouble.

#solas #solavellan #solas fic #professor solas #professor solas au #pikapeppa writes #elbenherzart

[pastrnaks-sainz]

Game Texts from Last Night

Bruins - Capitals, Fuck Tom Wilson edition (3.5.21)

(* = sent by my friend) 

- Ugh Patrice looking fine* 

- when doesn’t he look fine 

- YES HUBBY MY STRAPPING MAN* 

- My heart hurts for Chucky* 

- jack “you may all breathe again” thanks jack 

- Yes halak yes* 

- MARCHYYYYYYY 

- Omg CUTE* 

- husbands 

- YOU ALREADY KNEW* 

- “Omg CUTE” is usually only used with those two or pasta and Chucky or Freddy tbh 

- It was a proud dad moment* 

- HE IS BALDING* 

- SHUT UP WE’RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT LEAVE WAGS ALONE 

- WILSON YOU DIRTY FUCK 

- I’m goin at Wilson* 

- Dirty fuck* 

- THESE OFFICIALS SUCK 

- YOURE NOT EVEN GONNA DO ANYTHING 

- I’d take my skate right to Wilson’s face* 

- WILSON WAS STARING CARLO DOWN AFTER HE HIT FREDDY 

- send Wilson out I fucking dare you 

- Lmao did you see halak straight dip* 

- Another “ight imma head out”* 

- I wouldn’t wanna be in tinordi’s way either 

- marchy “that was a bullshit hit” “that was a fucking cheap shot right there” 

- Wilson’s face makes me so angry* 

- GOOD MAN TINORDI 

- I like this guy* 

- PAYBACK IS A BITCH FROM FREDDY 

- BAHAHA FREDDY YES* 

- dude is lucic were still on the bruins wilson would be dead 

- they’d have to peel him off the ice* 

- I wanna see Wilson get his clock cleaned again* 

- BERGY HELL YES 

- That beautiful beautiful man* 

- with an equally beautiful goal 

- LET’S GOOOOOOO 

- MARCHYYYYYY 

- 🖕- brad marchand @ tom wilson 

- okay but you know bruce told tinordi to fuck wilson up 

- okay but imagine this exact game with a full crowd 

- Omfg a HOME game* 

- THEY DONE POKED THE BEAR 

- never poke the bear* 

- they poked the bear with a damn cattle prod 

- Brad doesn’t even know what to do he’s so mad* 

- RITCHIEEEEE 

- FREDDY WILSON ROUND 2 

- oh Freddy I love you 

- Did you see Freddy’s smile after* 

- halak just denied ovi like four times 

- SIT DOWN CAPS ALL OF YOU* 

- YOU POKED THE BEAR BOO YOU GOTTA PAY THE PRICE NOW 

- jack “overdue on his rent payment” 

- THATS IT JERSEYS EVERY GAME* 

- OH WILSON YOURE GOING AFTER MARCHY AND PASTA NOW YOU FUCKER 

- PASTA TOOK HIM THE FUCK OUT 

- CHARA GOING AFTER MARCHY 

- bergy stepped in like “get away from my husband” 

- dbaby said “move boy”

- dude Freddy is having so much fun 

- lmao and then there’s Freddy* 

- Just skating around having a grand ole time* 

- pissing people off as he goes 

- I still need to take out and rinse my brain tho after seeing that* 

- He was taken to the hospital by ambulance no wonder why they were so pissed* 

- We ride at midnight* 

- “that particular player” it’s alright bruce call him out 

- His smirking face PISSES ME OFF* 

- NO WONDER TINORDI PUNCHED IT IN

#boston bruins #washington capitals #bruins - capitols #texts from last night #brad marchand #tom wilson

[oldsoldierr]

The Carnation ~ Part 1

summary: the media always told you that the famous art critic bucky barnes is an arrogant, rude playboy and you agree, but something still draws you to him. is there a deeper reason to why he acts the way he does or is he the class A jackass you first met?

art critic!bucky x artist!reader

word count: about 2.8k

series masterlist 

Your art studio was silent except for the occasional paper turning from the person across the room from you. The only sound you were paying attention to was the smooth sliding of the brush on the canvas as you traced a carnation from the actual deep maroon flower behind the painting. That was until you heard a jingle from the door. Soon after a set of footsteps came your way. You sighed putting your paintbrush down. 

“Hi, Steve.” He gave you a charming smile and sat down next to you with his sketchbook. 

“How was your day?”

“Actually pretty good. I got almost a third of my commissions done,” he responded.

“How was yours?” He took out some charcoal from his bag.

“Ugh, not great. I was almost halfway done with a painting when fucking Brock bumped into me and made me drop it before it was dry.” Your fingers curled into a fist just thinking about it but you strategically didn’t go into the details to avoid getting too angry. 

“Well, I think I have some news that might just make your day better.” Steve grinned. 

You looked at Steve curiously.

“What is it?”

“‘You remember Natasha? The one I talked to you about yesterday?” You paused for a moment racking your memory, then nodded.

“Your coworker?”

“Mhm. Well, she told me word has it that Bucky Barnes is coming to Brooklyn!” He looked to you for a reaction. You shifted at the mention of the name. 

“Is that really a good thing?” You asked. Steve looked at you like you just said the earth was flat. 

“Are you deaf? I just said the Bucky Barnes, as in the world-famous art critic is coming to our city!” he emphasized. When he still didn’t get a good reaction he elaborated.

“He’s made so many careers with just one review. He could be your chance at a better life! He could be your chance to launch your art career into the stratosphere!” You looked at him skeptically with a raised eyebrow.

“I really don’t think so,” You replied logically. “I mean, he’s practically the Gordon Ramsey of art. And not in the funny, badass way. Did you forget he’s also broken more than his fair share of careers?”

“Yeah, of course, I know, but it’s a risk worth taking!” he tried again.You looked down at the floor nervously and fidgeted with your fingers. This time it was Steve’s turn to look suspicious.

“Wait, you’ve never been afraid of a risk.” He realized. “You literally jumped off a bridge once just because you were bored. What’s really going on?” You bit your lip. You debated the best course of action inside your head before saying, “Fine.” You sighed.

“I just-- I don’t like him,” you admitted.

“What, why?” Steve asked, looking slightly offended.

“He’s just such that kind of person ya know? The kind of person that thinks they’re better than everyone else and struts around acting like they own everything.”

“What do you mean? You’ve never even met him before!” Steve countered. You shrugged.

“I don’t need to. I’ve seen guys like him before.” you frowned.

“They all think the same. The only thing they think about is trying to get in girls’ pants. He got just a little famous and now he thinks he’s the shit and that his opinion is the only right one. always acting like he’s the best,” You scorned.

“That’s quite an assumption to make considering you barely know anything actually about him.” The blonde hesitated before saying the next part. “He’s really not too bad,” Steve combed his hand through his hair. You couldn’t stop the puzzlement that crept onto your face. Steve had never been one to be hypocritical.

“Oh, so you know everything about him?” you said sarcastically.

“Well, actually…” Steve rubbed his neck. “...he’s kinda been my best friend since we were kids, so I know a fair bit about him.” That caught you off guard. 

“Wait-- what?” You sat there dumbfounded for a minute.

“How come this is the first time I’m hearing about this?

Steve gave you a  half-smile.

“Well, you know, I didn’t want to scare you off or anything.” He let out a breathy laugh.

“You’d be surprised at how many people have completely blocked me out because of him.” Steve tapped his pointer finger as he awaited your reaction.

Man, this boy is dumb.

“Stevie, you’re literally the only one who talked to me after I first moved here,” You recounted. 

“Even though I don’t like Barnes, you couldn’tve scared me off if you tried,” You promised. “Seriously.” You looked at him.

 “And you’ll never get rid of me ever again,” you joked. The blonde gave you a relieved sigh.

“Now back to me being mad at you.” You quickly reset from that surprise heart to heart. 

“You should’ve told me!”

“Well it’s a bit late for that now,” he teased. A chuckle bubbled from your throat. You thought for a moment.

 “Just as long as I never have to talk to him, I’ll be fine,” you said light-heartedly. At this statement, Steve looked rather alarmed. You looked at him questioningly.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Is there paint on my face or something?” Steve looked at you rather guiltily.

“Hey, so I sort of did something,” He said cautiously.

“Yeah of course?” You started to get anxious. 

“I kind of expected you to respond positively to the Bucky news and I may have…” Steve trailed off.

“What?”

“I may have already invited him,” Steve said sheepishly. You looked at him with a face of pure panic.

“Oh, shit—I mean—that’s not too bad?” You bit your tongue. 

“As long as I have enough time to prepare,” You tried to convince yourself, but judging from the blondes’ expression, there was more to it than just that.

“When’s he coming?” you asked.

When Steve didn’t respond you asked again in a much more urgent tone.

“Steve, when's he coming?”

“So, yeah, about that too, um-“ Steve stuttered.

“he’s supposed to come right about… now.”

Before you could kill Steve, scream, and/or faint there was another jangle from the entrance. You looked towards the door. 

An extremely attractive man sauntered in from it. You observed his piercing baby blue eyes and dark, shaggy hair was cut just above his built shoulders.  You could tell he went to the gym from his bulky stature but most of him was covered by a cliche snobby scarf and a black, long leather jacket that probably costs more than your rent and we’re talking New York prices. There was a little stubble on his sharp jaw that framed a cocky smirk. Your breath got caught in your throat. As you took him all in, you knew you’d be lying if you said this wasn’t the goddamn most gorgeous boy you’d ever seen. Even if you hated him with all your heart.

Steve stood up to greet the man with a hug. 

“Hey man, glad you could make it,” Steve pat him on the back and the brunette returned it. Your friend turned toward you with his hand on the stranger’s shoulder. 

“Y/n-” Steve hesitantly continued. “-meet Bucky.” You were pretty sure you were having a panic attack. But somehow you still had coherent thoughts.

So this is Bucky? you wondered. He’s so much younger than I thought he was. In complete honesty, you always imagined him as a 100-year-old with a swirly mustache so a mid-twenty-year-old was quite a surprise.

You somehow composed yourself and said, somewhat politely, “Oh, uh, hi, pleasure meeting you. I’ve...heard a lot about you.” You wiped the paint off your hand before extending it to Bucky. He looked down at your hand. His eyes glanced back up before ignoring your hand completely, instead, he put his hands on his hips. You put your arm down awkwardly.

“Pleasures all mine, doll,” he flirted. A blush tinted your cheeks pink. You recoiled.

Who does this guy think he is?

Before Steve could stop him Bucky continued.

“Stevie, why didn’t you tell me how beautiful y/n is? I would’ve straightened up a bit more.” You knew it was a line, but to say you weren’t slightly charmed would’ve been deceitful.

Snap out of it, you told yourself. You had met too many guys just like him, and relationships with them always ended the same. Heartbreak and an unhealthy amount of ice cream, you thought bitterly.

“Bucky, don’t flirt with her,” Steve scolded. Bucky winked.

“I’ll try my best.” The blonde rolled his eyes but Bucky didn’t acknowledge it.

“So, this is the place you wanted me to come to?” Bucky said scanning the room. 

“Yeah, it’s a really great place, and really accepting,” Steve complimented.

 “‘Thought you’d like somewhere lowkey to get away from your-- you know,” the blonde-haired man said tentatively. Bucky rubbed his neck trying to mask his uncomfort at this topic. He quickly changed the subject, going into full critic mode.

“Hmm, the architecture’s okay,” Bucky evaluated, walking around a bit. “Did you choose the lights?” He looked directly at you. You felt his gaze burning into you.

“Uh, yes, yes I did,” You stammered out. The brunette hummed judgmentally. 

“Ideally you would’ve had completely white lights evenly placed throughout the ceiling. I assume it’d be a tad difficult to draw from reference accurately here.”

You mumbled something about fixing them while you played with your fingers insecurely. Generally, you had pretty thick skin, being in the art industry, but when Bucky Barnes tells you he doesn’t like something, it needs to go immediately, lest you become a laughing stock for the rest of your career.

“Mr. Barnes, could I give you a tour of the studio?” you offered. Bucky blinked.

“Of course. Lead the way.” He gestured for you to go forward. You pondered for a second.

“Follow me.” You proceeded to start walking around the room planning on pointing your proudest achievements out. Before you could say anything though, Bucky stopped dead in his tracks.

“This easel is at a 70-degree angle when the rest are at 90.” You honestly didn’t know what to say to that. He continued, “For maximum efficiency, I suggest making them all the same.”

You narrowed your eyes a little. This opinion seemed a bit nitpicky for you. He was supposed to be mainly judging your art anyway, not your fucking angles.

 “I’ll make note of that,” you replied curtly. Luckily, it seemed your wish for him to critic your art was granted as his eyes moved up to the painting Brock had made you drop earlier. Your heart dropped.

“Huh.” He looked at it with revolution. 

“It’s rather smudgy, don’t you think?” Bucky said looking over it. “Crisper lines create more appealing products. An artist of your age should know that by now,” He said demeaningly. You wanted to defend yourself and tell him about how it wasn’t your fault it was so smudgy but you knew better. Art critics hated excuses.

Before the brunette could make any more comments about your less proud works you spoke again.

“I’ll show you the supply closet.” You suggested. Bucky nodded. You walked to the closet door, opened it, and flicked the light on.

“Honestly this is probably my favorite part of this place. It has everything you could possibly need.” You looked at the brunette for his opinion. He nodded again but didn’t say anything. You were surprised he didn’t have any comments considering he had a lot to say just a second ago. You were getting suspicious that he wasn’t listening. You crouched down to reach a basket.

“I keep my favorite and most used supplies right here, though I’m sure you have your own preferred materials. Do you have any suggestions?” you asked expecting him to recommend some other brands or criticize your choices. When you didn’t get either you turned around. Bucky was staring at something in the previous room. As you followed his gaze you realized it was not a something, but a someone. The Infamous Bucky Barnes you didn’t like too much, to begin with, was really beginning to piss you off. 

“Uh, ahem?” you cleared your throat with only a hint of sass. Bucky snapped out of his thoughts.

“Oh, hmm? What’d you say? Sorry, I was just admiring your uh- organization.” Haha bullshit, you thought. It took all your strength not to call him out on his blatant lie.

“I asked if you had any suggestions for supplies.” He still looked distracted. Like he wanted to get this done already. He rapped his foot impatiently.

“Everythings fine,” Bucky replied lazily. Before you could say anything he spoke again.

“Hey, who’s that?” he said pointing to the person he’d been ogling earlier. You bit the inside of your mouth to stop from scoffing.

“That’s Sharon. She’s a regular artist here.” You said professionally trying to keep from saying something about Bucky catching a case. Said man smirked.

“Could I speak to her? I’d like to...learn about how things are run here.” His voice clearly indicated that was not what he was going to talk about. Avoiding Bucky’s line of view you rolled your eyes farther than you thought they ever could.

Guess the rumors were true. He is a womanizer, You thought to yourself. I can’t believe I actually thought I might have a chance. This is just how he is with everyone. Your ideas of him being interested in you flew out the window.

“Yeah, sure. Go right ahead,” You said in a tone that was just controlled enough.

You sighed as he left the closet with a click of the door. Before exiting yourself you gently hit your head on the wall a few times. This jackass of a man was really getting under your skin. You decided to just go back to your painting and hope he noticed it. As you walked back to your seat you caught a glimpse of Bucky leaning on a table near Sharon clearly chatting her up. You grimaced. 

They say never meet celebrities for a reason, you thought to yourself.

When you sat back in your chair, Steve gave you a sympathetic look.

“I know he was a bit of a jerk but he really isn’t usually like that.” Your blonde friend eyed Bucky. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him today.” You didn’t reply.

“Hey,” Steve said, trying to get your attention. You looked at him expectantly.

“He’s really not that bad of a guy once you get to know him.”

You couldn’t help the snort that came out.

“I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna know him enough to get to that point.” You knew you were being a bit harsh, but a bad day plus this was really amping everything up.

“I mean he’s an art critic,” you said exasperated. 

“but he only reviewed one of my pieces!” You humphed.

“He does everything for a reason.” He muttered. You picked up your brush again unconvinced. Steve seemed to notice as he resumed. 

“Really! Please just promise me you’ll give him a chance.” When you didn’t budge Steve gave you the puppy eyes he knew you couldn’t refuse. You groaned and dipped your head back in frustration.

“Fine,-” You grumbled. “-but know, it’s not for him, it’s for you, cause I trust your judgment.” 

I mean I’ll never see him again anyway, you thought.

Steve grinned.

“And that’s all I can ask for.” You and Steve fell into a comfortable silence for around an hour as you both worked on your projects, but the constant flirting you heard from Sharon’s corner was riling you up.

You made a sound that was definitely some sort of growl and threw your hands up.

“Why can’t they just shut up?” Steve smiled mischievously.

“You doing okay there?” You glared at Steve

“What do you think? Barnes is basically throwing himself at Sharon. it’s so distracting.”

“You know what it sounds like to me?” The blonde man beside you asked.

“What?”

“It sounds like someone’s jealous,” Steve whispered. You could physically hear the grin in his voice.

“I really want to hit you right now,” You threatened.

“That’s not a no!” he sang.

“I’m NOT jealous! Why would I ever want Bucky Barnes to flirt with me? I’d honestly rather die,” You denied.

Steve looked at you skeptically.

“Whatever you say.” He went back to his sketches. You huffed and ultimately did this same. 

You did NOT like Bucky Barnes. But as you looked back towards the playboy brunette talking with Sharon, you felt an ache of envy that he wasn’t talking to you. 

I do NOT like Bucky Barnes, you repeated to yourself. But a little part of you knew that wasn’t true. You put your head in your hands.

Well fuckity, fuck, fuck.

so that was part one! it’ll get more dramatic soon! this is my first series so i’m still trying to figure some things out. if anyone has tips please let me know! sorry for any grammatical errors. thanks for reading :)

series masterlist~part 2

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #steve #steve rodgers #steve rodgers x reader #fanfiction #modern au #artist au #bucky x you #stucky #buckysharon #steve x reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.10

When the others finally left for the night, Lance was mentally jumping for joy. Hunk was driving Shay home, Lance had his fingers, and toes, crossed that his best friend would finally profess his feelings. His joy lasted until his stomach rolled, telling him it was time to purge the human food he’d forced down the evening. Bolting for his upstairs bathroom, he gripped the toilet hard as his stomach rolled and everything was vomited out forcefully. Keith’s stupid blood was still in his system. The effects should have been wearing off by now, not lingering around like his unwanted house guest.

Hunched over as he heaved, there was a soft knock on the bathroom door

“Lance?”

Ugh. Shiro the goddamn hero. He was none too happy with him at the moment. Humans always made things so bloody complicated, no pun intended. Behind him the sink tap was turned on, the sound of the water hitting the basin was like a fucking waterfall again rocks, the noise coming to an end not a second too soon

“Here”

Gazing up with glassy eyes, Shiro was holding out a wet hand towel, Lance taking it from the man and draping it over his face. Thankfully Shiro had been kind enough not to turn the bathroom light on, though that hadn’t stopped him being stupid enough to put the damn cloth over his glasses

“Are you okay?”

“Fantastic”

“Can I do anything to help?”

“Yeah, you can keep your damn distance from Pidge”

Shiro shuffled his feet

“I...”

“If she knows, she’s going to want that bite. Matt is doing everything he can to protect his family, but Pidge... Pidge is so goddamn smart. Do you know what kind of situation you’ve put me in”

Lance heard the rustling of Shiro’s clothes before he felt man sitting down beside him

“I never thought she’d be Matt’s brother. It was stupid of me to speak out. Look. It’s not my place, but I know the look of someone haunted by the past. Speaking of Matt, that brought something up you’d rather not remember, didn’t it?”

“Someone should give you a damn medal. Shiro, you’re not my friend. You don’t know me. There’s nothing you can do to magically help”

“I can listen”

“Yeah, so you have more evidence to use against me when you finally kill me”

“It’s not like that...”

“Then what’s it like? Feeling pity for the sick vampire? Keeping him alive purely to help your brother? Now I’m left lying to Pidge for however long I’ve got left”

“I’m worried about you...”

Lance would have laughed if he wasn’t so shocked. What did Shiro have to worry about?

“... you’re not getting any better. You drank Keith’s blood to save him, and you’re still suffering from the effects. I don’t know what to do to help you”

“There’s nothing you can do”

“There has to be something”

“There isn’t”

“Then is there someone I can call? Someone who knows more about what’s going on?”

“I’m not going to bring a hunter onto the doorstep of anyone”

Shiro sighed

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let Keith take control of the mission. We haven’t reported back to our supervisors one way or the other. Your name came up flagged under suspicion of being a vampire with no confirmation. I don’t know who reported you, and I still don’t know what to make of you. You were polite and kind to both of us, yet helping Keith has made you this ill. Right now, I don’t want to kill you. I don’t know what to feel. You bit and turned my brother, yet you deny it. You openly socialise with humans, keeping as close to human as you can. You turned into a bat, despite claiming you carried no powers. All of this is confusing. Then there’s Keith. He’s my brother. My only brother. The only family I have here. I need to do what’s right for him”

“Then stop filling his head with ideas. He’s not a vampire. You enabling him isn’t helping anything. You guys can crash out in front of the TV if you want, help yourselves to whatever you want in the fridge. I’ll do the dishes tomorrow, so for now, let me just go to bed and be done with today”

“Lance, I...”

“If you say you’re sorry again, I can’t guarantee I won’t snap”

Shiro gave a nervous kind of a laugh, his hand squeezing Lance’s shoulder

“Alright. I get it. We’ll talk in the morning. Are you sure there isn’t anything I can get you?”

“I’ll be fine once your brother’s gross blood passes”

“That’s good to know”

*

Lance could hear Shiro and Keith talking about him as he laid in bed with Blue. Shiro was attempting to reason with Keith, who’d broken down over being bitten. His mouth ached, arm between his teeth as he rode through the pain of it all. This wasn’t normal, not for him. He needed to go see Coran. Coran would know what to do and how to help, and laying about in bed wasn’t going to magically cure him.

Dressing, it was a little after two in the morning when he crept down his stairs. So many thoughts were trying to push themselves to the forefront of his mind, yet none were clear enough to reach out grab. Stepping off the last step, the light in the lounge room flicked on, Shiro appearing in the doorway, rubbing at his eyes like Lance had woken him up

“Lance?”

“Go back to bed, Shiro”

“Going somewhere?”

“To get some blood”

Shiro saw through his lie

“Dressed and with your car keys?”

“Going to get some blood from Platt?”

Lance cringed at his tone, and at his big mouth

“Great, I’ll come for the drive then”

“Shiro...”

“You’re in no condition to drive yourself anywhere. It’d be irresponsible to let you go alone”

“What about Keith?”

“If you’re going to see some one about blood, then they have to know what’s going on with him... Your arm’s bleeding”

Lance looked down at the dark patch spreading across his sleeve. He’d bandaged his arm, but for some reason he was still bleeding

“It’s nothing. Look, go back to bed and we’ll talk in the morning”

“I can’t do that”

“Leave me alone!”

Shit. As if Shiro hadn’t caught enough of his bad mood of late

“I’m sorry, Shiro. I’ll be back by morning, but I can’t take you where I need to go. You’re not one of us. They wouldn’t even let you inside the lobby”

“Look, it’s late. I think you should go back to bed and we can all talk about this in the morning”

And what if he flipped out in the mean time? What if he really was as bad Keith thought he was? He didn’t want to hurt Shiro... or Keith for that matter. Maybe shave Keith’s mullet off, but not hurt him physically

“I can’t do that”

“Why not?”

“Because there’s something wrong with me and I don’t want either of you being hurt. Please, Shiro, I have to go. I promise I’ll be back as soon as possible”

“How can I trust that you’ll be back?”

“I’d never leave Blue. Plus Pidge would be merciless if I went missing. I can’t do that to her and Hunk”

“Alright... just... stay safe”

“You, too”

The drive to Platt passed in a blur, Lance doing well above the speed limit in the long straights of the road. The city it’s self never seemed to sleep, but the roads were clear as Lance slowed to the posted limits, the last thing he needed was a speeding fine, or to bite a cop. Parking in front of “Castle Altea”, the building front marketed itself as a 24 hour bookshop catering to the obscure. The whole block was actually owned by the organisation Coran ran, shop owners paid half the price of rent in the area, probably thanks to the complex that ran beneath their feet. Gripping his arm, he just about fell out the driver’s side, head swimming to the point he thought he’d vomit.

Passing through the bookstore, the woman behind the counter hit the button under the desk to let him straight through the back doors and into the elevator that’d take him down to Coran’s first level. There were only two buttons in lift, one up to the bookshop and one down to “VOLTRON”, the name of outreach network for Platt. Lance knew the “V” stood for “vampire” and the “L” stood for “lycanthropes”, and maybe the end “ON” stood for “outreach network”, but the others he’d been clueless on. He didn’t really need to know the name, only that he was going to the only truly safe place for him in his current situation. He couldn’t even tell how many metres the lift went down, but the more the better right now.

The doors open to bright lights of the reception, Coran pausing mid pace, before rushing over to him

“Lance, what happened to you, my boy?”

“Mercury... poisoning...”

“Oh, my boy. You came to the right place. Here, lean on me. How’s your hunger?”

Lance felt so awful he didn’t even know if he was hungry. Coran felt safe and warm, his arm slipping around Lance, deceptively strong as he took his weight

“My teeth really hurt... all of me hurts... Coran, I’m scared”

“Hush, my boy. We’ll get to the bottom of this. You’re safe here”

“Thank you... I’m sorry... for turning up like this”

“Nonsense. Let’s get you comfortable”

Taken down another two levels, the doors opened to the medical floor. Coran leading him to the first available examination room, and assisting up onto the examination bed. Whimpering at the lights overhead, Coran switched them off, leaving the lighting in the room to come from the computer in the corner and the lights under the bed

“Hypersensitivity... Atypical for simple poisoning. Lance, can you tell me what happened?”

“Hunter”

Coran let out a small gasp

“A hunter?”

“Poisoned himself with silver and mercury... sucked it out of him... I’ve never fed off a human before... Coran.... what did I do?”

Coran smiled softly at him, brushing Lance’s sweaty fringe off his forehead

“You did a brave thing. Mercury in blood makes it very potent. I suspect the trauma of your first feed and the metal have come together to make a rather nasty combination for you. How long ago was it since you bit them?”

“Wednesday...”

“Oh, my boy. Let’s do a full work up. You’ve been through enough trauma as it is. Have you had any blood since?”

“A bag and a bit... it’s not helping”

“Alright. Let me see what I can do. You relax, you’re safe here, Lance. This is a safe place”

“I didn’t want to bring you trouble”

“Hush now. No ones going to get you. Close your eyes and just relax”

Lance felt eyelids start to grow heavy, Coran’s words a spell on his senses as he felt himself slump completely against the bed beneath him. Coran knew his traumas... Coran knew everything about his life. He shouldn’t have left Shiro and Keith at his house... but coming here was the right thing to do.

Allura came in as they waited for his blood tests. With practiced hands she set up an IV line, direct to a fresh bag of blood. Coran had helped him out his jacket, mortified he’d bitten himself to starve off the pain of his teeth

“Lance, it’s Allura. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m going to take a look at your arm”

“Hey, ‘llura. Sorry for the trouble”

“Nonsense. Coran said you had a run in with some hunters. We knew there were new guys in town, yet I hardly expected they’d go after to you”

Why wouldn’t they go after him? He shouldn’t exist according to them

“I bit a human... I’m going to be put down”

“You’re not going to be put down. You’re not a typical vampire, but you’ve got a kind heart. You’d never hurt a human if you could help it”

Tell that to his teeth... and Keith’s fist

“I still did it”

“Lance, you’ve always been kind and sensitive. I promise you that we’ll get this all sorted”

As Allura applied ointment to his wound, Lance let himself float. His mind that was, not his body. Shiro was wrong, he couldn’t turn into a bat. And he was handling being caught out rather poorly. If Shiro and Keith did hunt the big bad things in the night, then he should be grateful. They’d probably saved countless lies by not thinking twice, whereas he was laying here being completely useless. He’d never killed a vampire, not even when tempted by their behaviour. As she worked, Allura hummed along, her humming somewhat soothing his headache. He liked Allura. She was smart, pretty, funny, and brave. She had so many things going on, yet she wore all her pressures on his delicate shoulders with grace

“Healing has already begun, it should heal without a scar. But do try to take it easy for the next few days”

“Thanks, Allura. I’m still really sorry for how I showed up”

“Nonsense. I would have been mad with you if you hadn’t come to us. Have you got enough blood at home to see you over?”

“The hunter’s got to it. Trashed my house, waited for me to come home, the whole nine yards”

“Do you need help with the repairs? Furniture replacement? Is your home safe to return to?”

“Yeah. No, I’ll be fine. I’ve got somewhere to go”

“If you’re not safe, you can stay here for as long as you need”

“I’ll keep that in mind, but I’m safe for now. I’ll take some blood though. Healing this is has taken more than I expected”

“Anything you add blood too amplifies it’s effectiveness. Being stabbed by a mercury dipped dagger has a much different affect than ingesting it”

Lance hummed

“I didn’t think about it like that”

The room to the examination room slid open, Coran letting himself in. Allura smiling at him, their conversation now dead in its tracks

“Sorry to interrupt. Allura, how’s our boy doing?”

“His arm’s started healing. He seems more lucid too. I would like to see him in three weeks for reassessment. I’ll be logging 21 bags of blood on his record, I don’t trust that his supply hasn’t been tainted”

Tainting the blood seemed too much effort to be a Keith move. Shiro had the patience, but he’d brought him up blood to help him heal... poisoning Lance was a sure way to ruin any chance of getting information from him

“Excellent. Now, Lance, I’ve got your results right here. Silver and mercury were found in your bloody, both in trace amounts. My advice would be draining what we can from your system, then rehydrating you”

“How long will that take?”

“Twelve hours, give or take. Then a nice nap in your grave dirt, for a couple of hours, just to make sure no hidden nasties are left in your system”

“I don’t have time to do that”

“I’m sorry, my dear boy. You’ll need to make the time. Your levels across the board are all over the place, and you’ve had quite the shock. Anything else could affect your will power to fight the curse. You could find yourself performing actions with no memory of the event”

Stupid fucking Keith. This is what he got for helping him, when he didn’t deserve it. They’d barely talked, not when the man hated him with the passions of a thousand suns. Now he was stuck being drained like a car having it oil changed. He’d be breaking his word to Shiro. He’d said he’d be back in the morning, now he was going to be stuck in Platt until mid afternoon at the earliest

“Coran, I need to make a phone call... I need to let my friend know I’ll be back later than planned”

“Sure, my boy. Do you know the number?”

Shiro’s number? That was a no. He knew his home phone number because he still had a land line. Pidge had laughed and called it “antiquated”, no one had house landlines anymore, according to her. Lance wasn’t about to take advice from someone who’d never he the displeasure of growing up with one family landline in the living room where everyone overheard your conversation. Lance didn’t know Keith’s number either, not that Keith would answer if he did

“They’re at my house. They insisted on sleeping over in case someone came back”

“Oh, dear. You must be worried about them. Give them a quick ring and let them know you’re all safe and sound”

Shiro didn’t answer the home phone when Lance rang, Lance leaving a message on the off chance Keith decided he snoop about in Lance’s office again, Lance quickly explained he needed to stay in Platt longer to sort the situation he was experiencing, and that it was best for everyone involved if he remained until the afternoon. Taken from the examination room once the IV had run through, he was taken to a much more depressing room that held a vertical board for a bed. Thick straps came off the sides, his head, neck, arms, legs and torso all strapped down, preventing him from escaping should he flip out from being drained. The device looked barely a step above something that’d be used to hold prisoners being tortured

“Now, this is going to be quite painful and uncomfortable for you. I know you only ingested trace amounts, but the stress has made your system a bit, shall we say, whacky. We’re going to introduce a sedative to your system, before running a line from your jugular. You’ll be both awake and asleep for the procedure. The injection keeps the brain from registering and reacting. All very safe, all very well researched. We’ve had particular success with werewolves poisoned with wolfsbane”

“Alright. Do what you need to do. I don’t want to feel like this anymore”

“You’ll feel good as new when we’re done. Then we can have ourself a talk”

The bed behind him was stiff, the whole room white, and the straps cold against his skin. Cool air was pushed through the single vent in the room above the doorway, as Lance waited for the injection in the back of his neck to kick in. He should really be billing Keith for his time. From Wednesday until now, at douchebag wanker lawyer fees, the man would be pushing three grand for all the time Lance had wasted thinking about him. Was Keith fighting with Shiro as he “lay” here? Was he still going on about being bitten and turned while Shiro didn’t balls up and prove to him that he was still human? Keith should know better. Shiro should know much better. Those purple eyes that seemed to see his soul were bright and unclouded. A rare fire burned behind them, not the fire of a confident man, but the fire of someone who still very much alive in the human world. Keith had his whole life ahead of him, yet he must have his reasons for joining the Blades. If only Keith and Shiro could have both walked away, Shiro wouldn’t have lost his partner, and Keith could have a normal happy life without the bloodshed and fear of being turned. Why the fuck was he stuck now thinking on the man who hated his guts. Keith hadn’t even been willing to talk, let alone listen. He was hot headed and rash, leaping before he looked... Keith was going to be pissy that he’d skipped out on explaining things in the morning. Coran would fix Lance right up, only for Lance to go home and die. Letting out a sigh, Lance closed his eyes. When he’d been 18 he’d had to spend three months sleeping as he made his death soil. If a wounded vampire could get back to their death soil, most damage could be overcome... His death soil now sat in his garden, but he did have a shoe box of soil in his wardrobe, to remind him not to get too comfortable in his current life...

#once bitten twice stupid #ashratherose #vld au #vampire Lance #klance #keith is a dumb dumb

[ladyzombie2010]

Chapter 1: Newcrest

My name is Amy, Amy Fisher. I am 21 years old and recently moved out of my parents house from Willow Creek. I haven’t exactly had my eye on Newcrest but, it seemed like a nice and quiet town to reside in while attending Brightchester for my Masters in the culinary arts. I am taking an elective of Animal Behavior because, while owning my own bakery someday is my life-long dream, if that fails, my other goal is to become a dog trainer. I’ve always had a plan A and a plan B because sometimes, plan A just doesn’t work. 

I have actually moved three times since being in Newcrest. The first house I lived in was a tiny loft that hardly had room for me to cook in the kitchen and with two dogs and a cat, I needed more room. My second home was a crammed two bedroom that I was renting from a shady landlord and after he refused to fix the appliances when they broke, I moved into the third house. They do say third time is the charm! This house that I live in now is almost perfect. It’s going to need some work along the way but, I can entertain friends, I have a spacious kitchen to cook, there’s even an office that I have turned into my study! My boyfriend has his own art studio but, we will get to that part of the story.. 

“Amy c’mon nobody will know! I swear you can be such a priss sometimes!” exclaimed Micha. Micha is the boyfriend of a girl I work with at the coffee shop. I was wrong to have agreed to go out on this date with him knowing full well he was unavailable but, a girl gets lonely. Only I didn’t have hooking up in the retail store bathroom in mind..

“No, no way. I don’t care what you say or what you think, this is not where you bring someone. What ever happened to dinner?”

Micha rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated laugh. “You know, you women sure are unappreciative these days” rolling my eyes, I made a jab at his relationship which I knew was wrong but can you blame me? Perhaps the reason he and Lilly are having trouble is that he’s such a douche! Now he is cheating on her! God, the poor girl has got to know.

The date with Micha had me heated, the fact that I agreed to fuck him in the tiny bathroom had me heated, what on earth was I thinking? I know better! I knew better than to even go out with him! Ugh.. I needed to cool off. Going on a run with Sophie seemed like a good way to do that. I loved her company and I loved a good run. To me, that was one of the best stress relievers. 

The Christmas holidays came and, I invited a couple of my friends over along with Lilly and Mica. The night actually went really well! I made a Ham feast with a plate of sugar cookies for dessert, everyone got into a conversation and we watched “The Nightmare Before Christmas” on my flat screen, then we all took part in a gift exchange! I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas with my friends!

It wasn’t until a few days after moving into my second house that I was working on my culinary homework when Lucas came over. He had been out of town for Christmas visiting his grandparents and wanted to stop by to apologize for not being able to make it to my party. 

“Lucas, you don’t need to apologize! I completely understand and you didn’t miss out on much anyway!” I said, inviting him in. “I know but, I felt bad because..well, I really wanted to see you but, I thought maybe we could go out tonight. Just the two of us?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. I could tell he was nervous and truth be told, I have had a little crush on him and I really needed an excuse to break off my sexual relationship with Micha that I was having behind Lilly’s back so, I accepted his offer to take me out on a date. 

I wish this was the part where I could tell you that everything from here on out was perfect and that Lucas and I lived happily ever after but, while I had a slice of paradise in my arms, little did I know that danger was lurking just around the corner. 

For now, I want you to see how perfect this moment was for me. I want you to know that Lucas confessed his love to me and we were locked in an embrace for what felt like forever but, I didn’t mind because in that moment my life couldn’t have possibly been better. I had known Lucas for a long time. We went to high school together and right now, this is what I wanted. I didn’t want to be some piece of meat to a man who didn’t even respect his girlfriend enough to not cheat on her, I didn’t want to be that woman that was having a sexual relationship with another woman’s man, I wanted to do away with her. I wanted to get back on track with culinary school and I wanted to focus on my future with Lucas. I should have known though that it was going to come with a price.

stay tuned for chapter 2.....

#sims 4 #sims4stories #sims4romance #sims 4 gameplay

[lovelyirony]

Hello friend! I'm in a mood and just feel like reading something sad. Could you pretty please maybe write some sad winteriron? Maybe something to do with terminal illness but it's up to you!

Being human means that there are many things that could happen to you and you can’t help it. 

Like cancer. 

Or being hit by a bus. 

Maybe a heart condition that you didn’t know about until you were thirty-two, had weird chest pains, and then found you didn’t have genetic testing done and neither parent told you about any extensive medical history because they both were estranged from the family. 

Okay. That was specific. 

But Tony was laying in a hospital bed and the doctors told him that he wouldn’t live past forty and he would die of heart failure. 

He feels like he should be hit harder by this. He only has eight years left to live. He shouldn’t be in his kitchen making eggs, he should probably be hysterically calling Rhodey and Pepper and Happy and asking them about funeral arrangements and what he’s going to do and quite possibly if spending the extra money to get the executive suite at the fancy hotel in Switzerland is worth it. 

Except he doesn’t want to. 

Death is a messy process. Not for him, they assured him of that. But everyone asks you questions and your loved ones. You have to figure out where to bury someone if they didn’t do it beforehand. Sometimes you have debates about cremation. Other times about how much you want to spend on a casket. 

He really doesn’t want to look at Rhodey or Pepper or Happy when they talk about that because he knows that their faces will break into tears and he will see the tear tracks when they go home to their houses and cry some more. 

Nonsense. 

If he can hide it, then he will. He doesn’t want to be a bother, it would be...unfortunate. 

Besides. He’s lonely at the top, and there’s no climbing back down the mountain. He won’t pull a Scrooge and get visited by three ghosts. 

So he lives. 

He pulls some risky moves, but nothing that makes Pepper have the “are you up to something serious that could potentially cause my midlife crisis to go off-schedule” talk. 

Again. 

He donates more money to charities and helps people pay off medical bills and walks around New York late at night to wonder why he’s going to die in eight or maybe even seven years instead of the proposed twenty to thirty. (What? He wasn’t going to be too generous, he knew himself.) 

Tony wonders sometimes if he will meet someone and they will make him want to live so much more than he can. It will be like those romantic dramas with rainfall and hair plastered to foreheads and passionate kisses that leave some of the older women teary-eyed and wishing that their husband would do something like that. 

But he’s a genius, so he knows statistics like the back of his hand. 

There will be no one. 

Eight turns into seven. He celebrates by getting absolutely slammed on New Year’s Eve and wakes up to the shittiest radio station blaring. He’s pretty sure they’re playing Maroon 5, which fucking ugh. 

New Year, new resolutions. He doesn’t bother to make one. 

“Why not? You usually make a joke one,” Rhodey says. 

“We are all going to die,” Tony answers. “Why make a resolution if I don’t want to? If I were to die in a year, it wouldn’t really matter.” 

“Okay Lord Byron,” Rhodey says, rolling his eyes. “You want Hot Topic giftcards for your birthday? Huh?” 

Tony laughs. 

Rhodey always knows how to make him laugh. 

Tony doesn’t know how he’s going to make Rhodey laugh when he’s dead. So that’s a breaking point where he stares at the wall and starts to write random memories down, like the time they snuck up onto a hotel’s roof to see the city wake up and the wind chapped their lips and Tony swore that he’d never leave Rhodey. 

Except he is. 

And he realizes that he needs to let Pepper and Rhodey and Happy know that he loves them a lot. So he starts the letters. 

He writes a letter to Pepper to remind her about how much she regrets getting light blue nail polish every single time she gets a manicure, and she should never get it. (Yes, even for a wedding she’s in, get something, anything other than that.) 

He writes a letter to Happy that is basically just wondering about how they can troll asshole celebrities that they know. He doesn’t know, but maybe he will find some dirt so that if Happy ever falls on dire times, he will have some extra cash flow coming in. Not that Tony would let that happen, but say Happy ever did. Maybe someone stole his bank information. Who knows what will happen in seven or six years. 

Summer still sucks. He thinks maybe he’ll like it more, now that he knows that his heart is going to quit. But it still smells like piss and garbage on the streets of New York, people are still blasting shitty music and riding bikes too dangerously, and he still feels gross by two p.m. when he goes outside to face the world. 

Not even the treat of shaved ice helps this. 

“At least I won’t have to face another one in seven years,” Tony murmurs. “Thank god for that.” 

Seven turns into six. 

It’s around this time when an attractive redhead shows up at his office, bends down a bit lower than necessary, and Tony gets the feeling that SHIELD should really train their agents a bit better if they want something out of him. 

He organizes a meeting with Fury, walks in, and states that they cannot afford him. 

“You know that your help would be particularly useful,” Fury says. 

“For you to get what?” He asks. “Don’t bullshit me with some answer about compassion. Peggy Carter was kind, but she wasn’t a damned saint.” 

“There are new...developments.” 

Like the fact that they’ve found Captain America. And Bucky Barnes didn’t fall off into a random ravine, so the four different conspiracy theory documentary videos that Tony watched last year were about five hours of wasted time. 

They need somewhere to stay. Fury wants Tony to foot the bill. 

“What, can’t ask the government for funding?” Tony asks. “I’m sure if they can up the budget for military every year, that covers Cap and his old pal. Hell, I bet they’ll even open up the champagne fridges.” 

“They don’t know about it.” 

“And why would that be? Because you’d rather have idols to yourself?” 

It’s a low-blow. But Tony agrees to take them in. He just doesn’t want to see them, notably because his father was a bit of a Captain America fan, Tony had had a crush on the former sharpshooter when he was a younger guy, and it was all kinds of messed up. 

But he gives them their own little apartment, one of his safehouses. 

“This ain’t little,” Steve mutters to himself, unpacking a box of plates. Natasha has been nice enough to show them around and tell them about the changes she finds relevant. She forced them to listen to what she called ‘the goddess of pop’ in the car, and Bucky nearly clawed out the stereo after “Toxic” came on. 

“Fuckin’ palace,” Bucky mutters. “Who’s is this?” 

“A man in high places,” Natasha answers. “He doesn’t want to be known. Doesn’t exactly play well with others.” 

She leaves them be, and there’s so much that has changed. Steve is still looking for any sign of the past he can find in Bucky, and Bucky...

He’s not who he used to be. He doesn’t remember half the shit that Steve does. Perks of having your brain so fried up that you can barely remember your middle name. 

They eat together in silence. 

“I guess...I guess we have to figure out who we really are,” Steve says. “Because you’re not who I remember, and I’m not...I guess I’m not either.” 

Bucky nods. 

“Do you reckon we’ll like going out dancing?” 

The answer is a strong no, although Steve has to say the drinks have improved a hell of a lot more. He likes the ones that come with the small paper umbrellas. He doesn’t know where they get them, but it gives him an idea for an art project. 

Tony doesn’t hear much about the wonder boys. He doesn’t want to, not really. Natasha just says they’re getting more and more adjusted and she has evidence of Steve Rogers going clubbing. 

“Oh my god,” Tony groans. “Romanoff, do not.” 

“It’s funny.” 

“I don’t wanna know.” 

“What, you jealous that you’re not dancing with him?” 

“Hardly. Blonde and beefy isn’t my type.” 

“Then what is?” 

“Classified.” Tony answered. “Now, is there anything else you want SHIELD to suck out of me?” 

“Well, my manicure funding is getting rather low...” 

Tony snorts, but points towards the door. 

His chest hurts. It’s been happening. He’s actually gotten used to it. In a way, he’s more concerned when it doesn’t hurt. He went to another specialist. They say his death sentence is signed, even if they don’t word it like that. Here’s how it is usually worded: 

“I have a colleague who works at insert-clinic/hospital-here...I can refer you to Dr. So-and-So?” 

They can. But it’s another list of referrals of so-and-so’s and clinics and appointments at the most inopportune times. 

All for nothing, because Tony knows that he can’t be fixed. The human body sometimes works like a machine. But it’s not one. It’d be like Tony calling a dog a wolf. Similar, but no one wants to bring a wolf into their house as a pet. 

He gets a phone call from someone named Deputy Director Hill. 

-

He needs a new arm. 

Barnes needs a new arm. Of course he does. Tony should’ve expected that, of course. Hydra isn’t exactly known for revolutionizing prosthetics or being particularly kind to their projects that they work on. So Tony automatically has a one-up. 

He gets Barnes to come to this mechanic garage, surrounded by old tin signs and vintage cars that cost more than most of the monthly rent of penthouses in New York. 

Bucky does a double-take. 

“Howard?” 

“I hope not,” Tony answers. “Hop up on the chair for me, please. I’m getting you a new arm.” 

“This is fine,” Barnes automatically spouts. Tony can see the damage from here, and can even point out that the arm’s reaction time is probably the worst it has been currently. 

“If you want to stick to your Great Depression ideals, then by all means be my guest and go bitch in a grocery store about prices,” Tony responds dryly. “But if you want an arm that’s gonna be actually good, then sit.” 

So he does. 

Tony looks incredibly similar to his father. But there’s something different about him. Something softer, almost. Bucky didn’t know Howard nearly as well as others did, but he knew that Tony wasn’t his father. 

“How are you adjusting to the city?” Tony asks. 

"Still the shithole we all know and love,” Bucky swears. “I think the rats got bigger.” 

“They did. It’s amusing and horrifying at the same time. You ride the subway yet?” 

“Yes and I’ve come to terms with it. Lots of new things to learn about it.” 

Barnes’ visits become more frequent. They talk about New York stuff. Tony tells him all about the fun events that have happened that he missed while he was doing time as an icicle. 

It’s nice, talking to him. Tony finally has someone who understands fatalistic humor and doesn’t respond with 

“That’s scary, Tony.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Bucky just says “cheers” and decides to tell Tony about the time he nearly died in 1992 because he lost his footing on the Eiffel Tower. 

Tony laughs, and laughs harder than he thought he had in a long time. 

-

Six turns into five. 

Bucky gets closer, and they have...something. He’s not sure what it is yet, but he knows that they go on breakfast dates most of the time and he knows the coffee orders by heart. 

“I think you’ve found someone,” Pepper says, teasing. “Look at you.” 

“Yeah, look at me,” Tony murmurs. 

He has five years left. That’s plenty of time to date someone and break up, right? 

Except. 

It’s...wonderful to date Bucky. They go all over, have fun trying the shittiest restaurants in town, and even get Steve to get out more and socialize with the group. 

They date and celebrate holidays together and have fun candles and--

Five turns into four. 

“Not that bad,” Tony whispers to himself when he’s getting ready for bed. 

“What’s not bad?” Bucky asks. 

“Nothing, sweetheart,” Tony says. “Just got a new toothpaste.” 

They watch It’s a Wonderful Life and Tony can’t really focus, not when he’s thinking about the fact that he still hasn’t picked out a design for his urn. 

Not when he realizes that he needs to break up with Bucky and make it a whole big scene so that no one will talk to him. It has to be about two years before the date, he thinks. 

He goes to another Dr. So-and-So. They say he might actually have one more year, but who knows. 

He doesn’t. 

But he wakes up with Bucky every day and they make breakfast, and he thinks that maybe he could tell him? Maybe? 

The words get stuck in his mouth. 

He can’t. 

He meets with his lawyer for the will. 

“Why making sudden changes?” 

“Just like to shake things up,” Tony says with a smile. “Never know what’s going to happen, right?” 

“You are right about that,” the lawyer says. He’s a bit uncomfortable. Tony Stark looks at him like he knows that his life is short and that something else will come up. But it’s not the lawyer’s job to ask if things really are okay, and it’s not like Tony would tell him anyway. 

So he makes the changes to the will. 

Tony looks at Bucky as he’s napping, face so peaceful. 

He can’t ruin that. 

#lovelyirony writes #for some reason tumblr never lets me put in a 'read more' link until like after i've done all this shit so here's to hoping this works #winteriron #:( #hope this fits the sad theme anon #tony stark #bucky barnes #rhodey #pepper potts #happy hogan #steve rogers

[complicatedandstained]

The Other Day at Hot Topic: Do No Harm

It feels a little bit like the role of Vanitas has been recast halfway through their shift. 

The guy has started doing his work like a regular human being, going as far as offering to help Roxas finish restocking the piercing display and then not giving him shit about it. 

Although, to be fair, this could be because Vanitas was losing patience. Roxas, admittedly, has absolutely and entirely no idea what he is doing. Aqua had assumed Roxas knew a lot more about which metal stabs through which piece of skin than he does. 

Actually, Vanitas has taken to not talking to Roxas at all. He has his headphones back on and, if his volume is any indication, is doing his damnedest to broadcast his music throughout the entire store. Roxas has to refrain from singing along when Fall Out Boy comes on. 

But either way Roxas slices it, it’s a definite improvement. 

And then this super old man comes in, chugging along on a walker with balloons tied to his wrist. Orbiting him is a chattering, hyperactive, wholesomely chubby child, the kind of child you kind of want to hug. 

The old man has a scowl etched onto his face like it’s been there a while. He almost immediately begins to grumble about the low lighting and the loud music and the tight spaces between the aisles that make navigation with a walker near impossible. 

The child is wearing an extremely yellow Wilderness Explorer uniform, and explore he does—every square inch of the store seemingly all at once. He bumps off of display cases and walls like a human pinball, poking at the cheeks of stuffed animals and brushing his hands through the fabrics.

The old man continues his complaining from the front as he eyes the display cases, muttering about the dark colors and the flimsy material and the skimpy cuts. 

Vanitas keeps glancing between the two of them from his station near Anime where he’s restocking the Hello Kitty plush. Roxas imagines he’s examining camera angles, trying to decide who would be easier to take out first. Another glare the old man’s direction, and Roxas decides to step in, before his coworker does.

“Hey there! After anything in particular today?” Roxas asks. He’s halfway through adding new buttons to the magnetic boards of the display case by the register, and he holds out a handful with a smile. “Button?”

The old man looks taken aback. “Thanks, but,” the old man offers a quiet smile in return, tugging at the lapel of a worn suit jacket, where he has a round, pop bottle cap of his own pinned, “I have the only button I need.” 

Roxas feels a strange tingling in his chest at the sudden softness in the gruff man’s tone. Someone special must have given it to him. For a split second Roxas pictures Axel, hands splayed, eyes bright, telling him about stained glass windows.  

The conversation shatters as a childlike someone shouts, “I found it! I found it!” followed immediately by the sound of several hundred small boxes crashing down, and then a delayed, much quieter, “Uh-oh.”

“Russell…” the old man groans, shutting his eyes. 

The old man has stopped near the entrance, as he cannot easily navigate the tight passages between Hot Topic’s displays, so Roxas nods to him. “I’ll make sure he’s alright.”  

Roxas power walks through the aisles, until he gets to the wall-length Funko Pop display. Half a shelf is on the floor between Vanitas and the chubby, adorable scout, who has a single box clutched to his chest.

“This is the one!” The child beams and waves the box close enough to Vanitas face that Roxas is concerned the kid will lose a finger. “The Snipe! I found it!” 

Roxas freezes as Vanitas’ face twitches. With rigid movements the guy yanks down his headphones, says flatly, “Congratulations.”

Compared to all the potential curse words Roxas feared would leave his mouth, Roxas considers this reply basically praiseworthy. 

Vanitas eyes flit down to the mess again, his arms crossing, and the kid notices. 

“I am sorry about the mess,” Russell says, his bright voice painstakingly articulate, like maybe English isn’t his first language. Russell frowns, his dark eyebrows dipping low, troubled, dimples appearing in his round cheeks. “I will help you clean it up though!”  

Roxas takes a step forward, fully prepared to bodily restrain Vanitas if need be. 

“Psh.” Vanitas swats his hand toward the pile dismissively. “I’ve seen worse.”

Roxas is ready to give Vanitas a promotion at this point.

“Why don’t you go show Gramps your weird-as—weird-butt...bird thing.” 

“Okay!” Russell nods purposefully and then frowns, laughs. “Mr. Fredrickson is not my Grandpa though.” Vanitas’ face scrunches in mild confusion. “Oh?”

“Mr. Fredrickson is my best friend.” 

This is perhaps the single sweetest and saddest thing Roxas has ever heard.

With another radiant smile missing a couple key teeth, the child hugs his find to his chest once more and toddles off to the front of the store, chattering to the box, “I think I’ll call you ‘Kevin.’”

And for just a second, before Vanitas slips his headphones back on, with a slightly miffed shake of his head, Roxas thinks he sees Vanitas smile. 

*

Vanitas’ headphones have been off for a half hour now. Once Roxas had checked out Russell and Mr. Fredrickson, the Hot Topic workers set to doing serious damage control on the Pop Funkos. This entailed extensive sorting by platform, movie, and sale price, and some minor bickering about characters belong where, which made it abundantly clear that Roxas is the bigger nerd of the two and that Vanitas knows a weird amount about Star Wars.  

“God.” Vanitas passes Roxas the last couple obscure collectibles and whines, “Ordinarily, I’d just shove them all back on the shelf, and be done with it. Fucking kid. Fucking Axel. Fucking…” He leans forward to fix the one box threatening to fall back over. 

Roxas had thought Vanitas wanted to get fired, and now suddenly he’s vying for employee of the month. He shakes his head, sliding a hand in his pocket and looking out across the empty store.  “I don’t get you.”  

Vanitas lifts an angry-looking Hello Kitty penguin plush from the ground beside him and stares into its eyes like he sees some wisdom there. “You think I should just shut up and do my job, right?”

For a second Roxas wonders what the chances are that Vanitas hadn’t heard him and is simply talking to the penguin, but he decides those chances are fairly low. “It’d be easier…” Roxas mutters, fishing a few furry Chococat eye masks out of a cardboard box on the floor to help Vanitas with the display. 

“Wrong. You want to know why I wanted to get fired? This ‘job’ is a waste of my fucking time. I should be studying, interning. Literally scratching my eyeballs out would be more productive than this.” He lifts a Hello Kitty plush dressed as a cheeseburger up and shoves it in Roxas’ face like he’s trying to suffocate him and the plushie both.

Roxas rolls his eyes, and pushes Cheeseburger Kitty away. “Yeah, I’m sure the eyeball scratching pay is great…” I’ll ask Xion’s cat and get back to you.

“Ugh.” Vanitas adjusts a stack of Hello Kitty notebooks (regrettably not burger-themed) and accepts a handful of cat head topped gel pens from Roxas to add to the display cup beside it. This done he glowers at Roxas impatiently. “I forgot you don’t know shit. Look. I didn’t work my ass off getting a full ride to med school to wind up slaving away next to a bunch of sexually frustrated, punk wannabes.”

Roxas should be more offended about the last bit, but his brain gets stuck elsewhere. “You’re in med school?” A smile hits him in spite of himself. “Did they not warn you about the Hippocratic Oath?” 

Vanitas rams his shoulder into Roxas’ not hard enough to hurt, not light enough to be friendly. “Shut the fuck up.” Roxas considers Vanitas’ situation again, wondering why Vanitas is opening up to him now. “So, if you got a full ride, why work here?”

Vanitas sighs and shifts a few Sanrio nail polish sets over, then checks his own glossy white paint. “How much do you know about Xemnas?” Roxas glances up from his digging through the box. “The sexiest man alive?” Vanitas cringes, his fists balling up. “I fucking hate this place.”

“You…” Roxas hands him a couple more boxes of the polish sets, “disagree?” 

“He’s my uncle,” Vanitas says with venom. “He recently collected the family inheritance. He’s only in his thirties, and now he’s rich. Like, the filthy kind.” 

“Oh.” Roxas feels an uncomfortable pang his chest. Basically, Vanitas is telling him someone in his family recently died. So, either Vanitas is actually upset about that, or Vanitas didn’t know them that well and is just pissed he got the short end of the stick. But wouldn’t Vanitas’ parents have been next in line? Maybe they’d all been skipped?  “I’m sorry.” 

Vanitas doesn’t seem to hear him, pushes on, “Dear Uncle Xemnas is supposed to be helping me pay my rent and my bills, but he’s gotten it into his head that I need to learn to ‘be responsible’ and ‘make friends’ and all that elementary school bullshit. So now I’m working this stupid fucking minimum wage job. And if I don’t, I’m on my own.” 

Vanitas isn’t even looking at him anymore, he’s gripping the metal shelf of the display so hard his knuckles have gone bloodless. The sleeve of his blazer has slipped down, and Roxas can see tattoos running up from his wrist, red and blue veins, like his skin’s been flipped inside out. Med school, huh? Inheritance, suspension, friends… 

Roxas wonders if maybe Vanitas was just in desperate need of someone to dump this to. But why me? And how misanthropic do you have to be for your sexy uncle to blackmail you into having coworkers?

Then again, he did try to punch me in the face.  

“I mean…” Roxas considers patting Vanitas on the back with the Hello Kitty in his hand, but stops himself because he doesn’t want either to be ripped to shreds. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Vanitas whirls on him, face contorting. Roxas congratulates himself on the instinct not to give the guy a soothing pat. 

“You would say that. It’s fucking ridiculous. So what if I almost got suspended? I didn’t. So what if I don’t have any friends? I don’t need them.” Vanitas has gotten up in Roxas’ space again, the words harsh and direct, straight in his face. Roxas can feel a little spit fly. Roxas takes a long look at him, taking in what he’s heard, and maybe it’s just because Vanitas reminds him so much of a young Sora throwing a temper tantrum, or maybe it’s the two fights they’ve had earlier, but Roxas can’t bring himself to be angry with the guy any more. In fact, he’s starting to pity him a little bit. Roxas stares levelly, offers calmly, “Maybe friends would help.” 

Vanitas sneers, seizes Roxas’ shirt in his fists. Roxas lets him. 

“Wake up, sunshine. You’re not in elementary school anymore. Friendship isn’t magic. People always let you down. They let you down or they leave. Axel’s going to let you down. It’s better not to get attached.” Vanitas shoves Roxas’ chest and stalks off a few steps, but Roxas, being a black belt, catches himself easily, which seems to piss Vanitas off further when he glances back to see him still standing there. 

“You’re right,” Roxas says. 

“Huh?”

“Nobody’s perfect.” One of Roxas’ hands leave his pockets, lifts in a shrug. “Sometimes my best friends screw up. Sometimes they screw up a lot.” He almost laughs, thinking of Hayner, how many times he’s had to climb out of bed to pick him up, stumbling drunk. “But so do I.” I mean I dated Seifer, for Pete’s sake. He hadn’t thought anyone would forgive him for that, but, somehow, they had. “And at the end of the day, isn’t it enough that they care about me and that they tried?”

Roxas shifts his other hand out of its pocket, bringing a pack of Pop Rocks with it. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with Axel. Maybe he is going to hurt me, but maybe our friendship is going to be amazing. I’m not going to let maybe stop me from trying. And neither should you.” 

“Ugh.” Vanitas runs his fingers down his face like he’s trying to scrub it clean. But when he drops them his tone seems more level, “Forget the advice, you’re a hopeless sap.”  

Roxas smiles sadly. “Whatever you say, Vanitas.”

Vanitas eyes him, more wary than annoyed. “You’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”

Roxas shrugs. “Maybe I am. What about Aqua?”

Vanitas stiffens. Roxas feels like he’s just watched his defenses go up, an invisible shield. 

Vanitas flexes his hand against the stuffed animal he’s holding a few times. “What about her?” he says at last.

Roxas keeps his words soft, “You guys are friends, aren’t you?”

“She’s not my friend,” Vanitas counters, words quiet but forceful. His nostrils flare, staring at Roxas and then he turns sharply, like he doesn’t want to look at Roxas anymore, and goes back to shoving stuffed animals onto a shelf with unnecessary force. “She’s a hopeless sap like you. That’s why I’m standing here balls deep in Hello Kitty merch. Doing my fucking job. Tell Axel that.”

Roxas has no idea what to make of this. There’s obviously a lot of shit going down with Vanitas that he doesn’t know the first thing about. He decides it’s time to tap out. Defuse this situation before Vanitas makes with the punching again. 

Vanitas is still waiting for a reply. 

Roxas frowns a bit. “The Hello Kitty thing, or...?”

Vanitas takes a step forward, like a bull stomping its foot before the charge. 

Roxas raises his hands in surrender accordingly. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell him you were doing your damn job. Gees.”

There’s a tense moment as Vanitas considers Roxas’ sincerity and then he nods. “Thank you.” He tosses another Cheeseburger Kitty at Roxas’ face.  “Now fuck off.”

#kingdom hearts #vanitas #roxas #axel #up #xemnas #akuroku #hello kitty #the other day at hot topic #my writing #tw: language #tw: loss #up pixar

[throne-of-starlight]

Clarke walks down the dangerous streets of The Mountain, the hood she's called home for the past two years. Where she's lived with her boyfriend Finn... ex-boyfriend now because she broke up with him after finding him with another woman- not that it was the first time- it always goes down like this, she finds him fucking a random girl in their bed, she yells at him, he beats her up, she cries, he apologizes and says it will never happen again, she believes him and it repeats.

This time though, Clarke's had enough. Enough of cheating, enough of beating, enough of being treated like shit. She doesn't have any friends of her own who could let her stay the night at their place. The only people she knows are the junkies and drunk friends of Finn's and that is not an option so she opts for sleeping on the streets.

It's not the first time she has to. After her father's death, the streets where her home due to her broken mother who started using drugs, lost her job as a doctor because she stole pills from work, she started blaming Clarke for her husband's death from time to time and spent the nights with different men. Abby (her mother) stopped paying for her private school so Clarke had to enroll in a public one and get a job so that she could have food in her stomach.

As Clarke settles under a bridge, she makes plans for the next day, she gets payed tomorrow from one of her jobs so she'll go collect the check and search for an apartment she can afford.

She uses her bag of clothes as a pillow and holds her pocket knife in her hands like she used to do when she was a teenager in case someone came to bother her... she remembers having to use that knife a few times before... she pushes those horrible memories out of her head, pulls her sweater tight to her body and goes to sleep.

~

She woke up a few times during the night because she heard a few noises that put her in alert mode, but nothing really happened and she was glad for it.

She walks inside the coffee shop -Green's Café- where she's been working for a year now. It's located in the beautiful city of Arkadia, the atmosphere in here is nice and it always makes Clarke forget about her shitty life.

"Hey, Clarke!" Niylah greets her with a smile.

Niylah is the only true friend she has and they have fooled around a few times, but Clarke decided to stop doing it when the bruises on her body couldn't be hidden with make-up anymore. They have remained good friends, but Clarke wasn't going to abuse of that friendship and ask her if she could stay at her place while she got to her feet. She knew Niylah wouldn't hesitate to say yes, but she doesn't want to explain the reason for asking.

"Hey, Niylah." She returns the smile. "Busy morning?"

Niylah sighs. "It's Friday so it's very busy."

"I won't keep you long then, I just came for my paycheck."

"Ah, yes, Mr. Green came by earlier and left them in the office."

"Okay, thanks." Clarke walks to the back of the cafe and into the employees office. As expected Mr. Green is nowhere in sight, to be honest she's only seen him five times during the year she's been working here and from those few times she can tell he's a nice guy, very friendly and cares about his employees.

The first time she saw him he introduced himself as Monty Green the owner of the cafe and asked her her name and when she told him he said, "It's nice to meet you Clarke. I'm glad you are working here if you need anything don't hesitate to let me know." He smiled, greeted the others and left.

She grabs her check and goes back to the front. "See you tomorrow, Niylah." She hugs her friend.

"Take care, beautiful." Her friend tells her.

Before going out the door, a flyer caughts her eye on the board that's on the right wall of the entrance. It says that someone is looking for a roommate and that the rent is cheap, it has a number and says to ask for Bellamy Blake. She takes the paper with her and dials the number, but it goes to voicemail.

She spends all day looking for apartments and calling people who have left flyers saying they're looking for a roommate, but couldn't find anything within her price range which isn't much. It's late in the afternoon and the sun is starting to go down so she decides to give Bellamy Blake a call for the tenth time, but again it goes straight to voicemail.

She stares at the address on the flyer debating whether to go or not... she has nothing to lose so she makes her way to the apartments. When she gets there it's dark, but she can see that there are three buildings of glass, big and beautiful in a nice place of the city so she doesn't know what that man Bellmay thinks cheap means, but since she has no other place to go she thought she'd give it a shot and hope that she could afford it.

She goes into the building in the middle and takes the elevator to the tenth floor, when she gets out she looks for the number 101. She knocks on the door and is glad she grabbed her most decent clothes before leaving Finn.

When no one opens the door she sits on the floor to wait for the man to show up. It's either waiting or going out to find a place on the streets to sleep and she doesn't want to do that yet.

~

Bellamy's had a rough day dealing with his people, reminding them what to do and what not to do, he had glanced at Murphy as he said that last part. He rubs his temple with his thumb and forefinger as he gets off the elevator and turns right for his apartment.

He stops when he sees a small figure laying on his doorstep, he walks closer and furrows his brow as he stares at the sleeping woman. She looks in her early twenties, blonde hair, creamy skin, long lashes and thin, she is so thin as if she hasn't been eating well. She was resting her head on a bag, that didn't look comfortable.

He kneels down and whispers, "Hey." But she doesn't stir.

He places his hand on her shoulder and gently shakes her, "Hey."

Her eyes dart open and in a blink of an eye she has him pinned down on the floor, straddling his waist and with a knife at his throat. He tenses and meets her eyes, blue like the deep blue sea, she is young and beautiful but those eyes... those eyes are of a person who has lived many things and even though she is trying to be intimidating he can still see some kind of fear in her eyes.

He slowly raises his hands so she can see them and says, "I'm not going to hurt you."

She glances at his hands then back at him, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't trust him.

"Can you please take the knife away from my neck?" He asks her softly.

"What do you want from me?" Her voice is a whisper.

"I just want to get to my apartment." He points to his door.

She furrows her brows, then her eyes open wide and she quickly gets off him. "Oh my God!" She exclaims. "Oh, crap!" She runs her fingers through her hair and looks at him. "I-I am so sorry-Oh my God. I'm sorry."

He stands up and watch her pace and keep on rambling. "I-I must have fallen asleep while I was waiting for you to show up and-" she stops pacing. "Shit! Now you will definitely not let me rent the other room and I spent the whole day looking for something but nothing came up. Ugh! I'm so stupid. I am so sorry, please-"

Bellamy carefully stands in front of her because she still has the knife in her left hand. "Hey, it's okay." He tells her. "Breath."

She looks up at him and she takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry." She says.

He doesn't know why but he chuckles. "It's okay, really."

She puts the pocket knife away and he asks her. "So you were waiting for me?"

She nods once. "I saw your flyer that you're looking for a roommate." She grabs her bag from the floor ready to leave.

"Come in." He says surprising her.

"Y-you want me to come in after I attacked you?"

He chuckles again. "Only if you promise not to stab me in the back."

Her eyes widen. "No, I would never." She says alarmed.

He smirks, "I was teasing you, Princess." And opens the door.

~

Clarke acted out of instinct. She was surprised the guy invited her in after what she did. He is tall, has bronze skin, black curly hair, sharp jawline, brown eyes and freckles adorn his chiseled face. He is good looking to say the least and young, she thought he'd be older, but he looks like he's in his twenty-four or twenty-five.

Clarke follows him inside the apartment and her mouth almost drops to the floor. It is big, she can only see the living room and kitchen but that is enough to tell her that she can't afford to live here. She knew it was a long shot and now she feels stupid and embarrassed as she turns around and finds the man Bellamy staring at her.

"I'm sorry to have caused you trouble and for wasting your time, but I think I should go." She gives him a small smile and walks towards the door.

#bellarke #bellarke fandom #the 100 #the 100 bellamy #the 100 bellarke #the 100 clarke #harper mcintyre #marper #monty green #bellamy blake #jordan jasper green #octavia blake #the 100 fandom #the 100 octavia #the delinquents #bellarke fanfiction #bellamy x clarke #the 100 au #bellarke au #the 100 fam #the 100 fanfiction #linctavia the 100 #linctavia #john murphy #raven reyes #mount weather #arkadia #jasper jordan #jonty #romance

[bluerosesburnblue]

Liz Liveblogs Bravely Second: Chapter Two

And we’re back, baby! Finally back with the second chapter of Bravely Second: What’s Past is Prologue

Buckle up, pals. This one’s a long one. Lots of ranting about sidequests and one amazing reveal

Warning that I start cussing more than usual around the mid-chapter reveal, should anyone care about language

Geez, yeah, Yew actually got shot last chapter. Glad to see that he’s alright

He’s also still upset about what Janne said. Turns out Janne had a point: Yew only did what he did because it was his duty as part of House Geneolgia and the Crystalguard. He doesn’t think any of his life has been his own choice

The rest of the team disagrees. Duty dictates that Janne should be executed as a traitor, but Yew consistently keeps trying to reason with him out of compassion

Edea’s giving a speech about how the Crystalguard’s actions may have been black, but the organization as a whole may have been a lighter shade of grey or white with a black mark on it. Coming from last game’s foremost “black-and-white morality” thinker, that just goes to show how much Edea grew during Bravely Default, especially since she’s no longer painting entire organizations as a single color, but noting that they’re a mixture of both good and bad people

Agnès is crying and now Tiz is SUPER pissed that they may have hurt her. Turns out it’s just the smoke irritating her eyes and making it hard to breathe

So... to Eisen? We’re gonna need a bigger boat!

Edea and Magnolia talking in their sleep is keeping Yew up at night. I feel ya, buddy. Edea’s snoring is grating as anything

Oh god Yew’s getting accosted by a mysterious voice with a music box backing track. Run!

“I... haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about” neither do I, Yew. You wanted a boat and this voice went on a tirade about cabbage

Voice’s advice is use your rowboat and go through a whirlpool that MIGHT go away. That’s TERRIBLE advice. Just rent a boat! We have SO MUCH money thanks to my level grinding

Guess the whirlpool IS gone. Still

*Insert months long break for college* At least this liveblog lets me know where the hell I am in the plot

The boat ride to Eisen is super long even with encounters turned off. Who thought the canoes on shallow waters only idea was good?

Oh! OH! Fox girl! She’s the one with the Yōkai job that I heard was super broken oh please let me get the demonic summons (unavailable until Chapter 6. Aw)

Ah, she’s the princess of Yunohana and is looking for her missing brother. And she’s joining us temporarily! Normally I’d be excited because she seems cool, but RPG experience has taught me that most of these situations end in betrayal, so now I’m suspicious (especially since the Yōkai asterisk involves summoning demons)

Princess Yōko is flirting HARD with Yew and Magnolia is so offended (older siblings Tiz and Edea are giving the most backhanded compliments right now)

Commander Goodman is back at Eisen Bridge! Good to see some old faces again, even if it’s under less than ideal circumstances

How good of a shot is Aimee that the entire Eisenberg army is at her mercy?

“Yew Googlymoogly and his three yutzes” is the new party name. It’s taken “ Agnès’s Avengers,” put it in a stranglehold, and had it beg for mercy it’s so strong

Giving the cowgirl a Boston accent is bizarre to experience

God she is just smitten with the Patissier boy, huh?

Magnolia just saved Yew, but Aimee... psychically moved the bullet to hit Goodman when it missed? Guess that explains the cross-continental shot

“The wound is deep” the man was wearing full plate armor. At that point it’s more blunt force impact damage than a bullet wound

The Hartschild festival looks great! I still love the graphical upgrades in this game over Default’s. The town looks gorgeous

How on earth DID we carry Commander Goodman to his home half a continent away?

Patissier boy is funding all of Hartsfest. He’s also absurdly tall like what

Aw, Yew and Magnolia are on a goldfish scooping date. Edea ships it so hard it hurts

Yew got flowers for Yōko and Magnolia, but I sense some cultural confusion happening on Magnolia’s end

Yeah, Magnolia thought that giving a flower was a marriage proposal because that’s what it is on the moon and now she’s crushed because she legitimately thought Yew was her maybe-fiance

DAMN YŌKO. HARSH. MAGNOLIA JUST RAN OFF CRYING

That was some mood whiplash. We just went from a heartbroken Magnolia to HEY GOODMAN’S DOING FINE YAAAAAAAY

Eleanor’s missing and the culprit is probably Patissier Angelo, using his cupcakes to mind control the town because duh. What else would Aimee’s boyfriend do?

Oh for fuck’s sake. Voice is writing in Yew’s journal and he’s soliloquizing about ONIONS now

He knows French. Potential moon person?

Yōko’s brother is here and he’s not a fox boy. Shame. Though the sibling matching clothes are cute

Danzaburō’s hair kinda looks like the Kaiser’s, but it’s hard to tell under the hat. He doesn’t sound like Kaiser, though, so it’s probably just coincidence

So a samurai’s gonna help us fight a sniper. Rad

It’s been so long I forgot about warp pig. How could I forget warp pig?

Ughhhhh the inn’s out of commission. Damn, that makes journal grinding so much harder. Ugh. Okay. Better solve the Hartschild disappearances first

This sidequest is starting with a grandpa and granddaughter moving into the old boat shack. I’m certain this will end in failure

YEAH THERE’S PROFITEUR’S FAKE MOON PERSON ACCENT

And HOLLY. Because you two were just my FAVORITES in Default

Actually, I already spoiled this one skimming through the TVTropes page, so reminding everyone that I am actively making the this The Worst Timeline: we’re siding with Holly. Probably for the best, as I technically already have a healing job

Does this grandfather... have a face? He looks like a yeti. It’s just all hair

So what I got is that Profiteur wanted to buy the sea shack from the family, probably to fix it up and flip it for commercial use. Which was fine because it had been abandoned for years, but the family suddenly came back. And Holly was just here... and against it for some reason

??? Does the sidequest not continue until you’ve solved the Hartschild problem or am I just missing something?

Man, Yōko ADORES her brother. Yew is sighing and musing about how nice that relationship is. Jealous?

Danzaburō’s plan is for the party to use the aqueduct to go under the bridge and sneak up on Aimee from behind while he distracts her. Not a bad plan at all

Damn. He just sliced a bullet in half in midair. Woah

And Hartschild’s fine now? Ooooor it’s only active at night? Is this a town of vampires now? Is that why there’s a “play with dog until dusk” option?

Profiteur wants the inlet to turn it into a trade port. “Old Codger” objects because the inlet is pretty. And Holly is projecting her own childhood sadness onto that girl and that’s why she’s intervening

So unlike the impression I got in Defualt... Profiteur is actually a decent businessman? He was scoping out Eisen Bridge, too

Profiteur does make a decent point. The party’s been mostly listening to old, retired men who aren’t directly effected by the changes, they’re just against the idea of change in general. Ask the young folk currently in the workforce and they’ll want to try anything to make things better. Nostalgic emotions vs practical problem solving

And another good point! They can’t ship things through Eisen Bridge due to the fighting, but the Empire doesn’t have a hold on ocean trade. Siding with Holly really is the worse choice here. That little girl being sad about moving is a worthy price to pay for improving the lives of all Eisenberg citizens

Aaaaaand the little girl’s missing. She left to try and get a job so they can keep the house. Children are bad at big-picture thinking

Oh good she’s in the Mythril Mine. That never went poorly for any child, ever

Damn, Profiteur came to help the kid? I’m liking him more the longer I do this quest

Holly, I don’t need your whole dang life story about how your grandfather worked so hard he ended up neglecting you. It’s sad, but you’re gonna subject a lot more kids to that if you keep harping on this one girl

Holly, it’s not like Profiteur hired the miners. They were working there on their own. Because the economy is bad. This ain’t his fault. He’s trying to fix this exact problem

“Is this the cost of rebuilding a nation?” Did you listen to a thing he’s said? He’s trying to open up trade ports so that they DON’T have to rely on the mine!

Is it obvious that I have little patience for characters who think emotional gratification gives them moral superiority yet? Or characters who prioritize it over actually solving the damn problem?

“It may not be feasts and finery, but isn’t it better just to live together, as long and as happily as you can?” WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT FINERY. These people are scrounging to EAT, Holly. They ain’t gonna be LIVING for long if they don’t get the money to buy food and shelter you useless high school economics flunkie

Sorry game. One sad girl and her grandad do not outweigh the needs of a nation. But I’m siding with them anyway, because Worst Timeline

“There’s something wrong with driving a family out of their home for the sake of a country!” NO EDEA THERE REALLY ISN’T. JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING MAKES YOU SAD OR UPSET DOESN’T MEAN IT’S WRONG. YOUR EMOTIONS ARE NOT A MORAL SCALE

“What is zis sentimental nonsense you fools are spouting!?” THANK YOU PROFITEUR FINALLY SOMEONE WITH LOGIC AND SENSE

I don’t know if I ever mentioned it, but I appreciate that the game gives you a summary of the two potential sidequest jobs before you make the choice, as well as warning you that you only get one. It’s nice, clear, and considerate

“It seems you’re having trouble understanding simple economic theory” is the theme of this sidequest

I don’t see why they had to give Profiteur generic villain quotes when you fight him. He was doing so well this sidequest

I don’t think I’ve ever seriously used the Merchant class and I doubt I will now

I don’t want your approval, Holly

AND THE PAYOFF WAS THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BARRAS WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN AND OPEN A CLINIC WITH HOLLY this was not worth it

At least Profiteur’s bestiary entry has Magnolia comment on his accent, even if it’s more tongue-in-cheek “wow he sounds dumb who would talk like that” than “...was he secretly from the moon, too?”

I don’t think I noticed before, but if you Brave multiple spells together it seems to merge them into one animation and that’s cool. Not sure if that’s something related to Yew being a Bishop or Magnolia being a Wizard, since it only seems to do that for Yew

This is the most lava-riddled sewer I’ve ever seen in my life

*gasp* Ancient ninja artifacts have been found in the sewers! Clearly Konoe Kikyo must have been here (and since she’s on my sidequest list for this chapter, I imagine she’s nearby)

I’m so overleveled for every dungeon. The joys and pains of bestiary completion

Why are there so many dragon men in these sewers?

Oh no! Yōko’s been shot trying to protect her brother! Time to conveniently exit the sewers with dramatic timing an end this

Is Aimee’s guncleaver just the next step up from gunblade?

Yew, that was the saddest cheer I’ve ever heard. Good to know Aimee still ships Yew/Magnolia, though

I’ve accidentally made Edea a physical attacking monster. I think she just took out half of Aimee’s health singlehandedly

And the gunslinger goes out apologizing to the Patissier boyfriend. A lot of dying apologies in this game

Gotta get Tiz up to Level 8 Catmancer before fighting her boyfriend. I want 100% completion and there’s a skill in that fight

Yōko’s giving a dramatic death speech and then Danzaburō cuts in with “she’s fine we’re taking her to a hot spring to relax.” Already loving the sibling dynamic

...I just noticed that her fox ears were actually a bow. The small details in this series are incredible

Aw, that’s cute. Magnolia wants to travel the world and eat every food she can because they’re all so different from moon food and from dishes in other regions

Edea’s all for it. Of course

And we’ve just crossed the border from medieval Europe into feudal Japan. Eisenberg is weird, but the music here is great

Aw. Danzaburō is carrying Yōko. What a good big brother

I now present to you: A Generic Anime Hot Springs Episode in a Medieval Fantasy

Oh I’m so glad Danzaburō’s hanging out in the hot spring with Yew and Tiz. And that he wore his hat in

Yew please. We all know Danzaburō has great pecs. They ain’t even submerged

Girls come on. You JUST gave the guys a talking to about peeping. Don’t you three go turning it around on them like that. Guys have a right to privacy, too

Does Danzaburō have a chinstrap beard or is that the actual chinstrap of his hat?

“We should peek back” “If you peek on my sister I will murder you without hesitation” This is exactly what I expected

Ah, Yōko’s asking Yew about a Sword of the Brave. MacGuffin senses tingling

Awww. She wants it because her father won’t let Danzaburō take the throne until he returns with it, since he’s not the emperor’s son by blood. An impossible task, and I suspect that the emperor doesn’t want Danzaburō to succeed

And Yew knows more about the sword than he’s telling, so I’m sensing a tragic sword-related backstory

Oh, damn. Yōko went after the sword on her own, didn’t she? Great

And another sidequest. Sorry Yōko, you’re gonna have to wait a bit

Aw great we’ve injured a delivery man. Nice going Edea

Ominas Party... Guess Black Mage is coming up. And they hired Artemia. It’s a safe bet we’re doing Ominas vs. Artemia this quest

It looks like 1/4 of all undead in the game are in Grapp Keep. What the hell happened there?

Earthquake happens and everyone falls unconscious + stairs are out of commission? At least we have food

Seems like the conflict is going to be Ominas wants the food for himself, and Artemia wants to ration it

Jambalay, Risotto, and Paella? Ominas, dude, you guys are screwed. When your hired help is named after food during a food shortage you know things have gone bad

So the moral conflict is mutiny with Artemia so no one starves or side with Ominas because he’s funding it and nominally in charge. Guess I’m siding with Ominas for Worst Timeline reasons

I don’t mind it for gameplay reasons, though. I like Ranger. It was one of the jobs I used most in BD and I already have a spellcasting job in Wizard

...that Currently Alive status screen was more worrying than necessary

Ah, so the conflict is a little deeper that I thought. Ominas is training his d’gon to smash the rubble out of the way, and I imagine he’s gonna want the food to keep Bahamut’s health up. So do we get out faster by prioritizing Bahamut, or do we wait for the search party while keeping everyone alive?

Ominas is still an ass, though. So I’ll have to side with him regardless

Oh. He wants Bahamut to learn Femto Flare to kill the Ba’als. I know the game isn’t gonna go this route, but I’d love it if I could side with Ominas and learn Femto Flare, and then loop and side with Artemia, but still teach Bahamut Femto Flare after we’re out of threat of starvation

I also have the benefit of meta knowledge. We have to make it out alive so there’s no real threat of at least the party dying. Similarly, I doubt Bahamut is gonna solo the final boss for us, so learning Femto Flare will be useless in the long run. Artemia’s solution ensures that the NPCs survive to be rescued, while Ominas’s only ensures Bahamut’s survival and little gain for our future because the game has to have Boss Fights for us. Also, assume someone never did the sidequest. No Bahamut either way

Worst Timeline prerogative sometimes makes this game hard to get through. It’s better to get it over with now, but still. I really like Artemia and I so want to side with her, but time to give Ominas’s baby dragon the rest of the food

Wow we tied Artemia up? Seems a little much

This actually ended pretty well. Ominas managed to teach Bahamut Femto Flare early and everyone made it out alive. Artemia ain’t even mad. ...did I fail to make the Worst Timeline?

“Hustle, don’t hurry” is some pretty good advice, Tiz

So Magnolia’s learning to cook and just ended up making as many rice dishes as she could, because the team likes carbs. At least Edea’s into it?

So the Geyser Grotto gimmick is that each room has you start the battle with a different status (ex. Magic Up, Berserk) due to the spring waters. It’s a neat concept, but wildly inconvenient for my bestiary completion

Welp, Yōko found the sword and it’s pulling a Sumrbrandr from Magnus Chase and speaking

Ohhhhhh shit Yōko made a pact with it to claim its power and said she’d pay any price, so it took Danzaburō’s sword arm. It never said she’d be the one paying

Yew’s having a trauma flashback! Awww, he had an older half-brother that he loved a whole lot and was so excited for him to inherit House Geneolgia, but their dad picked Yew as his heir

Their dad gave Yew’s brother the ultimatum of “prove yourself by finding the sword or leave forever” and his brother left, so Yew went looking for the sword to get his brother back

You know, I’m playing Hogwarts Mystery at the same time as this, so between Yew’s brother, Danzaburō, and HPHM’s Jacob, that’s three instances of “older brother leaves/disappears and devoted younger sibling goes to fix the problem” in games I’m playing

These drawings of baby Yew are adorable. His hair’s a complete disaster

And since this is a flashback relevant to the current situation, Yew’s brother finds him just as Yew is about to make a pact with the sword (which big bro Geneolgia claims is a demon) and the sword attacks Yew’s brother as the price. He survived, but disappeared and no one’s seen him since

Wait, so Yew had this whole flashback, none of the party heard it, and then the second he wakes up he goes “I’ll tell you everything” and we get a fade to black as he tells the party what we just saw in flashback? Why not just have the flashback be Yew telling the party? This is a baffling structural choice

His brother was also going to be the leader of the Three Cavaliers, and the only reason Yew joined was to take up his brother’s position. Yeesh, kid, you’re 16! When did all of this happen, when you were 12? How the hell did you accomplish all of this?

Whhaaaaaaaaaat the fuck? What the... Okay, I knew Yōko was the holder of the Yōkai asterisk and that it involved collecting “Sins” that act as dark summons, but I was not expecting her to be a literal yōkai fox demon using illusions of the sword and creating the characters of “Yōko” and “Danzaburō” (who is not real) just to elaborately fuck with Yew

My actual theory was that Danzaburō was the son of the Emperor of Yunohana and Yōko was a demon (or half-demon), but also his adopted sister, and the whole “find the Sword of the Brave” thing was actually going to be to name Yōko the heir, not Danzaburō, and he’d just lied to Yōko about the real reason he was looking for it. Maybe Yōko had lost her memory of being a demon, so Danzaburō and their father made up a story to cover it up, explaining why she thought Danzaburō wasn’t the true heir of Yunohana. Guess I was pretty far off

Wait, does this bring my missing big brothers in games count down to 2, since Danzaburō wasn’t real? Man, that’s not an impressive number at all!

“You, who let your poor little brother die. Has finding a new “little brother” freed you of your guilt?” Bitch, I was literally just about to say how Yew and Tiz were good for each other because they filled the familial roles that the other had lost. Do NOT speak ill of my brOTP. It is a relationship of mutual healing

She’s also accusing Magnolia of defeating Ba’als just to run from the pain of losing people on the moon

OH HELL YEAH I KNOW THAT VOICE AND MUSIC. The sweet, echo-y tones of Alternis Dim!!! Just as Yōko was about to go after Edea, not-quite-Ringabel-but-close-enough shows up to save the day, to the theme of last game’s Asterisk fight theme, “That Person’s Name Is”. THAT PERSON’S NAME IS ALTERNIS DIM, BABYYYY!

...well he got blown up fast. Typical Alternis

Well, Yōko thought this whole thing was fun, so she’s gonna let us live and give us some information. Go to the Temple of Fire. That’s it. That’s the information

Alternis confirmed that no one died in the opening sequence when  Agnès was kidnapped. He’s also glad to see Tiz awake

If only “you know who” could be here... Edea, are you talking about Agnès, who has been kidnapped, or was that a really harsh dig at the fact that you love Alternis’s alternate timeline self more

Awww, she tied a bow just like hers on Alternis as a bandage. Girl, he’s already in love with you you’re just gonna drive him nuts like this

Aternis: UHHHH WELL IT’S BEEN FUN GUYS but I’m gonna go chase after whatever the heck that demon was byeedeabyetiz

So the Fire Crystal is going out of control, just like what happened when you charged the crystals in Bravely Default. So the Kaiser is overloading the crystals to bust through to another world, like Airy did. Only a Vestal can do that, though, and Agnès claims that she hasn’t been doing that, and they never replaced the lost Vestals from the previous games. So either Agnès is getting controlled randomly and forgetting, or there’s someone else with a Vestal’s power hanging around

...didn’t Bella refer to herself as a Dark Vestal? I assumed she was dead, but she could still be alive. That, or the Kaiser has assembled a few “Dark Vestals” for this purpose

So the plan is to beat the Kaiser to Florem, where the only crystal he hasn’t visited yet is

...dammit Janne, you edgy loser. How many times am I gonna kick your ass? I was like, 10 levels too high for the last dungeon. What are you gonna do? Make scary wolf moves with your stances again?

Was that dialogue specifically because I defaulted the first few turns, or is it based on the amount of turns I took regardless of my actions?

“Fight like you mean it!” Yew’s my healer, Janne, I don’t think he’s gonna

Oh nooooo Janne fell from the bridge. He definitely not gonna come back I promise. That’s why there’s still a bestiary entry for him! Dude is so extra

Being able to turn off random encounters is so good for backtracking. I appreciate the variable combat frequency feature a lot. It’s great. Cuts down time for bestiary entries and grinding, and makes travel faster (though no less tedious at this point)

Kaiser’s got a robot hand. I imagine that that’s all that scene was for. I wonder where this could be going (I already know I was spoiled on the Kaiser’s identity, but for potential readers I’ll keep my mouth shut)

Nikolai: Janne’s gone maybe we should look-

Anne: Nah

Kaiser: Nah seconded, let’s book it

And Patissier boy works for the Kaiser. Like, duh. He was Aimee’s boyfriend, why wouldn’t he be?

It seems that relationship may have been one-sided. Angelo says he doesn’t care much for Aimee, but Anne thinks he’s bluffing

Are those soldiers Angelo’s admirers from town? Did he recruit random Hartschild women, or were they spies while in Hartschild

And back to Sidequest corner: Knight Heinkel vs. Ninja Kikyo! Ninja was the only one of the two I used in Default, but Worst Timeline prerogative determines the outcome here

Sholmes and Whitson? Seriously? We’re gonna solve the mystery of Edea eating Yew’s dumplings?

So Sholmes is Heinkel’s nephew, Heinkel is now an Inspector for the Yunohana police, Sholmes is going to interview for a position somewhere, and I imagine that Kikyo is the other person they mentioned

She is. She’s a private eye and apparently also related to Sholmes on his mother’s side? She’s his aunt?

Both cancelled the interviews to investigate a Starkfort murder! I imagine this is gonna be a battle of who each person thinks the culprit is

Man, so in the first game Heinkel and Kikyo went the whole game without mentioning either of their siblings AND the fact that their siblings were married to each other. Weird

The location card reads “Starkfort (For Sale by Owner)” oh my gosh???

Lord Earl Gulliver. This man has too many titles (I know that’s probably his first name, but still)

So our three witnesses are Gulliver’s wife, Madam Goldiga (pronounged “gold digga”), the owner of Starkfort, Lande Lessor, and Gulliver’s financier, Noah Entreste

Sholmes please. This is serious. You can’t just scream that someone in the room must be the murderer, even if someone in the room is probably, definitely a murderer

(It’s us. The party has killed people in the past and they shall do so again, even if this game made most of the murders in the first game non-canon)

You wanted Starkfort as a vacation home??? It is literally infested with demons

Goldiga left during some point in the tour for seemingly no reason, so she doesn’t have an alibi. The real problem is figuring out if the game is cliche enough to make her the killer, or if they’re gonna subvert it

Kikyo believes that the murderer was someone Gulliver trusted, since there was no sign of a struggle. That rules out Lessor, as they hadn’t met until that day. She suspects either Entreste or Goldiga because Entreste could move about freely since he was the owner and presumably had the keys, but the method of murder points to Goldiga

Edea accuses Kikyo, and Kikyo just hauls off on every way the murderer was an amateur. The blade was rusty, which would’ve taken two hands to use. It was poisoned, but a slash on the belt indicates that they missed, but the presence of poison suggests that the murderer had weak upper body strength, indicating Goldiga. Hell yeah you go Kikyo show that assassin knowledge

I actually do like this sidequest. I’ve got a thing for mysteries and solving this one is fun

Lessor and Entreste both wanted the sale to go through. Lessor wanted this demon-ridden property off his hands. Entreste is a banker looking to make a sale. They met that day. Goldiga has the most motive, though Edea and Heinkel are skeptical, as I was

Can I guess now that the culprit was Gulliver and he accidentally killed himself with his own poisoned dagger like a chump

Actually, scratch that. I want to say it was Whitson. He’s using too many ellipses

He’s going on about how his entire family has just been the assistants to the members of Sholmes’s family. It was definitely him

Goldiga’s dead you say? I’m so shocked! I could not possibly have seen this game attempt to subvert expectations!

She had a note reading “I shall follow where you go”. So now it’s a question of planted to make it look like a suicide, or an actual suicide

So Sholmes and Whitson worked at Starkfort years ago. Whitson is the murderer is looking more and more likely

I think I was wrong about what the conflict is. It’s should Sholmes be a police inspector or a private investigator. Honestly, I’d say neither, but at least Heinkel could whip him into shape. So let’s pick Kikyo

Man, that pissed Whitson off

There really isn’t a “worse” option here, I just personally think the police office is better for Sholmes. He needs someone to tell him when he’s out of line, and I feel like Kikyo would sooner ignore him and go off on her own than help. Besides, Heinkel’s trained worse, and he could do a lot for Sholmes in terms of training. So naturally I’m gonna tell Sholmes to go with Kikyo and kick Heinkel’s ass

Damn, I forgot how hard Heinkel could be. I ended up spamming my Zeus’s Wraths near the end of that

It WAS Whitson! Actually, Whitson was Heinkel, at least for that fight!

So the epilogue says that Whitson told Goldiga about the hidden passages in Starkfort, and she killed Gulliver. She tried to get Whitson to help her. The note was from Gulliver. It was part of his novel. Sholmes is working solo and acting as a police consultant a la his namesake

Kikyo actually likes Sholmes and she’s proud of him. “I feel compelled to come to every crime scene with a batch of freshly baked cookies.” You know what, I like Kikyo. She’s good

Off to get a decent boat! And meet the lord of Yunohana. For the boat!

Kusatsu Arima, Lord of Baths. Can that be my new title?

He... only has a gondola. And only makes soap and bath puns. And oh Angelo’s here. Team’s about to get pastry drugged, aren’t they?

Aaaaand now Tiz is unresponsive because I let him eat first

Oh was this the boss fight already?

Tiz just faded from existence? Because his cakes literally whisk you off to heaven? And he did that to all of Hartschild?

Tiz is a ghost in this fight and can only use magic BUT DOES THE CATMANCER ABILITY STILL WORK???

Well, I completely murdered the girl who gives the Catmancy skill, so it doesn’t matter. Oh well, I think there’s more in Florem

I had ghost Tiz summon a Tiz doing a gun special attack and that wrecked everything. I feel it was poetic considering Angelo’s trash talking Aimee

Angelo just tried to commit Suicide by Cake. He was stopped by a ring with a farewell note from Aimee tied to it that I imagine she shot into the air when she died, and because she’s just THAT GOOD of a shot it made it to Angelo at precisely this moment

Her last request was for Angelo to open a pancake shop and make everyone as happy as he made her, as long as he loved her even a little. And he’s gonna do it, even though he’s calling her annoying as he was agreeing to do it

Can the hot springs cure Tiz’s... ghost status?

Oh they dumped spring water on him and it worked. Okay?

Just Yew and Tiz in the baths again, since it turns out Danzaburō wasn’t real so they were alone in the first place

Aw, Yew and Magnolia are talking about the accidental engagement. Magnolia admits she overreacted, but she was so touched when he proposed

Ah! Voice is here! Man with the Purple Pen that for some reason everyone’s cool with!

So the hot springs were a boat, and Voice just unanchored it

The lord’s actually excited about this. He gave us the boat. So now we can take the springs to Hartschild and save the people Angelo ghosted

Edea’s gonna drive? Where’s Alternis when he’d actually be useful?

I was wondering what the last icon on the bottom screen was gonna be for. It’s boat access and switching to the raft

We just accidentally adopted bath lady Sakura as our mom

Oh come on, I just want the chapter to end. We did the boss fight! Why are Sergeant Sapp and Private Piddler here!?

That fight sucked

And we have fixed Hartschild. Nice. And Goodman’s okay! Nice.

Magnolia, stop waxing poetic about Goodman and his wife having to put their love aside to fulfill their duties. I get how it’s relevant to you and Yew, but can we just end this chapter?

Yew has named our boat the Rubadub. Cute

The Skyhold has been hit! By a laser! CHAPTER END

Female voice monologues about memory and regret. Every day was meant to change you into a better person

And theme song. Is this gonna happen every chapter? Not that I mind, because it’s a good song. Gives the whole game structure a very anime feel

FINALLY. This chapter feels like it took me a century. I’ve been on it for several months, at least! That’s not to say it was BAD (certain sidequests aside) but boy did it feel like it was dragging on forever. I’ve gotta wonder if the arc fatigue was just due to how I was playing the game, or if other people felt it, too. The Yōko reveal was pretty stellar, though

Hopefully the next chapter won’t take me at least 1/4 of a year to finish!

SPECULATION SPOILER CORNER

Rereading this to edit, I’m pretty sure Danzaburō ’s physical similarities to the Kaiser weren’t just a coincidence like I brushed them off as above. That had to be intentional on Yōko’s end. Yew’s jealousy about Yōko and Danzaburō ’s relationship also makes much more sense now

#bravely default #bravely second #liz liveblogs bravely second #oh man it's finally here: the liveblog a whole two people read #the holly/profiteur sidequest just killed the momentum for me #but we be back