#vanilla … VANILLA …. world changing. I’m losing my mind.

[hunkydorybaby]

rice and beans and cheese and avocados and tortillas and cinnamon and vanilla and cocoa and coffee and bananas and corn and

#idk what Latin Americans are doing but please PLEASE don’t stop I am begging #vanilla … VANILLA …. world changing. I’m losing my mind. #Colombia #peru #Brazil #costa rica #Mexico #puerto Rico #Latin America #coffee #planet earth #Latino #South America

[pillow-anime-talk]

my home.

request: hi 💕 may i request how would samatoki react to the death of his s/o, but 2 years later he found out that she was alive but was too ashamed to face him because of all the hurtful things she did to him while she was hypnotized by a powerful evil organization (not chuuoku) also if you don’t mind can you make it fluffy and spicy but the sex is soft and fluffy if that makes sense…hehehehe 🫶🏻 feel free to ignore if it’s too much for you ☺️

# tags: headcanon; current relationship (?); flashbacks; mostly drama and angst; also romance; light smut; sfw to nsfw

warnings: mention of sexual activities, it’s not the first time, but it feels like the first time, body worship, vanilla, pet names, kisses, crying, mention of alcohol

includes: female reader ft. samatoki aohitsugi {hypmic}

author’s note: i’m slowly coming back on tumblr! thank you for waiting so long, anonnie! love u.

↘ Two years ago you disappeared, which changed Samatoki a lot; although he has always been a mysterious and menacing looking man, after your disappearance  he took on an aggressive and guilty attitude as well. Because he knew you didn'’ disappear of your own free will, and that worried him even more than if you'd just run away from him without even a word of explanation. But the fact that you were probably forced to do it caused a strange feeling in the man's heart and a sour face.

↘ For two years you had no contact and Samatoki asked many people for help; his friends from MAD TRIGGER CREW, from other rap groups, even his sister and the whole Party of World. He’s tried to find you in your hometown, your favorite places, your old schools, and even your every former workplace he can remember. He tried to reach out to people who might have been involved in your disappearance, but unfortunately he didn’t succeed. For almost two years he couldn’t find even a clue as to where you were hiding, and the police, who were asked to investigate the case after three months of searching, pronounced you dead.

↘ You were the only one who knew the truth about your stay and the situation that took place. The truth was that you were brazenly manipulated by the organizations created by a person who was in love with you during studies. This person knew perfectly well about your relationship with Samatoki and made a plan that was to revive the relation between the two of you and then enter your mind in such a way that you forgot about your boyfriend and shut yourself off completely from social media and the real world. For almost a year you lived in a European country at that time, deepening your friendly relationship with the person who made you lose contact with people important to you (including relatives).

↘ After almost a year of living a life that wasn’t yours you had a slight accident; on your way back from the store, you were hit by a rather large car, and the impact on the asphalt was so strong that you lost consciousness. In the hospital, you not only regained mind, but also memories, including all those related to Japan, Samatoki and your love relationship. You remembered your hobbies, friends, and family, and also you felt disgusted when you remembered that you did things you didn’t like (e.g., you ate olives or liquorice that you would normally never try).

↘ Without a word, you ran away from your captor and then returned to Japan, more precisely to Yokohama. For several long months you debated whether to call Samatoki (hoping he hadn’t changed his number), or visit his sister, or write to his friends, but each time you cowered like a child before the first slide down the playground slide. Only after seven weeks did you dare to call your parents and relatives, and then your closest friend who cried with you on the phone.

↘ You met Samatoki quite by accident when you were sitting in the park late in the evening. The warm light of the lantern and the moon was falling on your legs, on which a folder full of letters to your (former?) boyfriend was placed. From time to time you just notted down your own thoughts.

↘ He was the one who first noticed the other person. For a moment he thought you were a figment of his imagination (he hasn’t slept in 2 days, drank too much coffee and was nervous), but then he smelled the perfume you’ve been wearing. He immediately said your first name and you stiffened slightly.

↘ You felt like running away and never coming back; on the one hand, the sight of the white-haired man was salvation for you, but on the other, you were terrified that he would raise his voice at you.

↘ However, to your surprise, Samatoki dropped to his knees right next to you and snuggled into your stomach. You heard a slight sniffle and felt his large body tremble. Instantly, you too felt great emotions, and at the same time relief, which released with tears on your cheeks.

*:･ﾟ✧*

↘ You talked on a park bench for several minutes, and then Samatoki took you for a walk to find a good coffee shop. There he bought the two of you warm jasmine tea, and then you walked towards your apartment, talking and discussing all the time.

↘ When you were telling him about your experiences, your fear and uncertainty about returning to Japan, and about your shame that you haven’t spoken to him so far; the white-haired man didn’t interrupt you even once. He gave you time to catch your breath, to cry a little, and to catch your thoughts.

↘ When you reached your apartment, only then did the man dare to speak.

↘ “I missed you and no matter what, I’m glad you’re alive and well. I’m really happy.” His warm smile, the first smile in a long time, was sincere and gentle. The corners of your mouth also turned up. “I hope your current partner respects you a lot.”

↘ “I don’t have anyone... I still love you, Samatoki.” You smiled slightly and he raised an eyebrow. “I know that a lot has changed in these two years and you don't feel the same about me, but you can always count on me a-and...”

↘ Your words are interrupted by a tender, long and slightly wet kiss. Samatoki still tasted the same as it did two years ago, and his cool hands landed on your hips and neck. Tears welled up in your eyes and you pulled him closer to you.

↘ “Will you stay the night? I don’t want to be alone today...”

↘ “I will stay wiht you.”

→ nsfw part ←

↘ After taking a short but warm bath and eating supper together, you decided to talk a little bit more. During this conversation, you apologized to the man many times and your cheeks were red from embarrassment (and maybe from some alcohol you two decided to drink? Who knows...). You talked until three in the morning, until you went to bed.

↘ On the soft mattress you immediately cuddled up to Samatoki’s naked chest and closed your eyes. You haven’t slept next to each other in two years, and you haven’t been as close to a male as you are now in two years. The slight excitement and memories of your relationship immediately hit your head. You knew it wasn’t a good time, and months apart was painful, but you couldn’t help the fact that your underwear was wet and your blush was even bigger. Samatoki, of course, felt a slight wetness on his hip and immediately understood what was happening.

↘ “Are you okay, Y/N?”

↘ “Yes. It’s just... I haven’t seen you for a long time. I didn't think I’d react like this. Please let’s go to sleep. Just ignore me.” Your voice was sincere yet uncertain at the same time. You felt stupid for acting like a horny teenager again, but it wasn’t up to you. It was... a natural reaction of the body.

↘ “Are we still a couple?” He asked curiously and you looked at him. “... Because if we are, I should help my girlfriend, right? After all, we never broke up, so we’re still together, yeah?"

You smiled slightly then nodded your head. ‘Toki was right, you never broke up – on the contrary; you kept thinking about each other and reminiscing about old times.

↘ The sex that ensued between the two of you that late night was probably the best sex you’ve ever had. And a little drop of alcohol only helped you to relax and feel better, although you admitted that you felt a little pain at first (as if you had sex for the first time in your life, but you knew it was the result of a long break and due to not masturbating for months). However, after a few light movements and longer kisses, you felt more pleasure and blissful peace.

↘ You both didn’t forget about the condom that Samatoki carried in his wallet, although he admitted that he wears them out of habit because of you rather than wanting to use them with a random girl. He admitted during your sexual intercourse that he hadn’t had sex in two years either, but he masturbated a lot in the shower.

↘ The boy was careful and when you let him do more, only then did he increase the force of his hip thrusts or his grips against your soft skin. The sex itself, however, remained vanilla and tender until the end.

↘ “Don’t ever leave me again, okay?”

↘ “I promise, baby.” You whispered, snuggling into his bare chest again. You really missed your lover and you were glad that despite all the hurt you did him, he forgave you and loved you again.

#— 🍓 #hypmic #hypmic headcanon #hypmic headcanons #hypmic x reader #hypmic x you #hypmic x y/n #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic headcanon #hypnosis mic headcanons #hypnosis mic x reader #hypnosis mic x you #hypnosis mic x y/n #samatoki aohitsugi #samatoki aohitsugi headcanons #samatoki aohitsugi headcanon #samatoki aohitsugi x reader #samatoki aohitsugi x you #samatoki aohitsugi x y/n #samatoki #samatoki headcanon #samatoki headcanons #samatoki x reader #samatoki x you #samatoki x y/n

[flirting-with-psychology]

o1. I’m in a relationship o2. I can’t eat sugar o3. I am in love o4. I think Bush was an awesome president o5. I think gay marriage should be approved o6. I enjoy playing my music loud o7. I like to decorate stuff o8. I love the color silver o9. I have too much free time 1o. I love hugs!

I like to take pictures

I am a blonde

I love Vanilla Coke

My parents are divorced or separated

I get amused easily sometimes

I hate my sibling sometimes

I love all my friends to death

I have been to the world of my own at least once

I love Aladdin 2o. I’m afraid of losing loved ones

When I get home the first thing I do is get on computer

I need to apply myself more.

I need more sleep

I like to write poetry

Hypocrites piss me off

I wish I could ride a motorcycle

I don’t like chocolate much

I have weird dreams

I don’t have a shower 3o. I love to swim

I’m scared of changes

I don’t do extracurricular activities

I’m too lazy

I am an atheist

I tend to hate jerks

I’d rather have a small group of close friends than a large group of friends that I didn’t know all that well

I’m easily hurt

I’m an Internet nut

AIM takes up ¼ of my life

I like giving gifts

I enjoy receiving them as well

I’m quiet in class and loud with my friends

I love watching films

I am very crazy at times

I know how to play the flute

I love where I go to school

I hate my homelife

I don’t like eating

I leave school soon

I am an impulse spender

I only ever seem to drink pepsi/coke

I have lots of nicknames

I eat too much junk food

I’ve had a Xanga for over a year

I’m tough on the outside, super sensitive on the inside

I love video games

I am shy at first

I’m scared that the entire world hates me

I love sarcasm

I’m a bit blonde at times

I think I scare people sometimes

I think snobby people suck

I hate it when people judge others without knowing them well

I prefer the internet to the TV

I can cry and not be sad

I shower

I interrupt people a lot

I hate it when people ignore me or irritate me

I’m quiet, then I come out with random outbursts

I have a lot of pet peeves

I hate scratched CD’s and DVD’s

I love blue eyes

I hate acting girlish

I’m a very messy person

I want more piercings

I hate my figure

My friends are loud but awesome

I sleep on my side

I appreciate nice things that are done for me, even if it’s just a compliment

I’d love to have the money to buy things for people for no reason at all

Iced coffee is the best

I want to get my ears pierced again

I want my belly button pierced

I like sitting around doing nothing if it pleases me

I don’t like talking to new people

I love horse back riding

I’m a daydreamer

I never want to get married

I like clean sheets

I love to ramble about random things

If I leave my hair to dry it goes curly

I don’t sleep much

I loathe sunbathing

I’m scared of the near future

I hate it when parents take sides

My starsign is virgo

I share my Birthday with best friend.

I love recieving Xanga Comments 1o0. I’ve rode in a hot air balloon 1o1. I’ve bowled left handed 1o2. I love popcorn 1o3. I’ve liked my best friend before 1o4. I wake up to an alarm clock 1o5. I hide things under my bed 1o6. I hate closed-minded people 1o7. I have gone sky diving 1o8. I’ve written a book 1o9. I love Def Leppard 11o. I make wishes on “11:11”

I’ve played lacrosse

I have the same best friend since kindergarten

I absolutely love cute/weird socks

I know what I want to be when I grow up

I write in cursive

I paint my nails

My best friend lives in another state

I watch T.V. to fall asleep

I try to always do my hair in cute styles, but it never looks good. 12o. Whenever I’m bored, I usually resort to dumb quizzes like this one.

#survey

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

549 of 2023

o1. I’m in a relationship o2. I can’t eat sugar o3. I am in love o4. I think Bush was an awesome president o5. I think gay marriage should be approved o6. I enjoy playing my music loud o7. I like to decorate stuff o8. I love the color silver o9. I have too much free time 1o. I love hugs!

I like to take pictures

I am a blonde

I love Vanilla Coke

My parents are divorced or separated

I get amused easily sometimes

I hate my sibling sometimes

I love all my friends to death

I have been to the world of my own at least once

I love Aladdin 2o. I’m afraid of losing loved ones

When I get home the first thing I do is get on computer

I need to apply myself more.

I need more sleep

I like to write poetry

Hypocrites piss me off

I wish I could ride a motorcycle

I don’t like chocolate much

I have weird dreams

I don’t have a shower 3o. I love to swim

I’m scared of changes

I don’t do extracurricular activities

I’m too lazy

I am an atheist

I tend to hate jerks

I’d rather have a small group of close friends than a large group of friends that I didn’t know all that well

I’m easily hurt

I’m an Internet nut

AIM takes up ¼ of my life

I like giving gifts

I enjoy receiving them as well

I’m quiet in class and loud with my friends

I love watching films

I am very crazy at times

I know how to play the flute

I love where I go to school

I hate my homelife

I don’t like eating

I leave school soon

I am an impulse spender

I only ever seem to drink pepsi/coke

I have lots of nicknames

I eat too much junk food

I’ve had a Xanga for over a year

I’m tough on the outside, super sensitive on the inside

I love video games

I am shy at first

I’m scared that the entire world hates me

I love sarcasm

I’m a bit blonde at times

I think I scare people sometimes

I think snobby people suck

I hate it when people judge others without knowing them well

I prefer the internet to the TV

I can cry and not be sad

I shower

I interrupt people a lot

I hate it when people ignore me or irritate me

I’m quiet, then I come out with random outbursts

I have a lot of pet peeves

I hate scratched CD’s and DVD’s

I love blue eyes

I hate acting girlish

I’m a very messy person

I want more piercings

I hate my figure

My friends are loud but awesome

I sleep on my side

I appreciate nice things that are done for me, even if it’s just a compliment

I’d love to have the money to buy things for people for no reason at all

Iced coffee is the best

I want to get my ears pierced again

I want my belly button pierced

I like sitting around doing nothing if it pleases me

I don’t like talking to new people

I love horse back riding

I’m a daydreamer

I never want to get married

I like clean sheets

I love to ramble about random things

If I leave my hair to dry it goes curly

I don’t sleep much

I loathe sunbathing

I’m scared of the near future

I hate it when parents take sides

My starsign is virgo

I share my Birthday with best friend.

I love recieving Xanga Comments 1o0. I’ve rode in a hot air balloon 1o1. I’ve bowled left handed 1o2. I love popcorn 1o3. I’ve liked my best friend before 1o4. I wake up to an alarm clock 1o5. I hide things under my bed 1o6. I hate closed-minded people 1o7. I have gone sky diving 1o8. I’ve written a book 1o9. I love Def Leppard 11o. I make wishes on “11:11”

I’ve played lacrosse

I have the same best friend since kindergarten

I absolutely love cute/weird socks

I know what I want to be when I grow up

I write in cursive

I paint my nails

My best friend lives in another state

I watch T.V. to fall asleep

I try to always do my hair in cute styles, but it never looks good. 12o. Whenever I’m bored, I usually resort to dumb quizzes like this one.

#survey #bolding survey #random survey

[bisluthq]

The absolute precision with which Taylor lays down the breadcrumbs for her fans with Question w/ the OOTW sample and the question heavy lyrics of OOTW and IION - even tho none of Question lyrics make sense for Harry at all or the type of relationship she is describing in 1989tv - is just one more reason I’ll always believe haylor was first and foremost (and maybe only) excellent marketing and storytelling.

I don’t see how calling this teeny bopper bubblegum couple PR is a conspiracy - they had a well-documented public meet cute, shit to promote, pap walks galore, and a built in end date for their r/s with them both going on world tours. Did they canoodle in the moment? Sure, maybe, but this was never the dramatic situationship she writes about. Frankly if they were fucking in award show toilets (really the only time in 2013 they could have seen each other post BU), we would have had rumors and we don’t bc it didn’t happen. To me it’s more of a conspiracy to think two of the most famous people in the world are having secret trysts with the insane public appearance/recording/touring schedule they both had (again if one of them was not working much or we had the toilet fucking reports, it would be believable). Some horrible obvious lyrics from his leaks did not change my mind nor do these vault tracks.

Lmao I do hear you queen. I *will* say they were spotted in lowkey places pre dating publicly (I think she was still with Bebe Kennedy during the first time fans spotted them out; it was with other friends) so personally I’m team they absolutely were canoodling, as you put it. I do agree that they marketed the absolute fucking shit out of it but I also think that backfired on her quite badly which tbh she addresses in the vault a bit and she regrets that aspect of it a lot. I also dk but I just fail to get the same sense of drama y’all get from these songs. Maybe because they’re just so deeply pop and vanilla that I don’t get a profound “wow this fucked her up” from any of it lol ever in the way I do from Jake songs or even Joe Jonas songs. I feel like losing what you feel at the time is the love of your life - when you’re as emotional as Taylor especially - doesn’t inspire you to “pop perfection” with Max Martin and his formulae but ya. I’m honestly not sure what the appeal of the good ship Hay is but whatever floats ur boat (while u wear a blue dress ofc).

And yeah saying they were marketing hard is really just facing reality. If I want to be private, even me I don’t go to Times Square for the Ball Drop to snog. And I’m not a super famous pop star being shipped with another one.

[palaeophilist]

the day after peter died

I haven’t cried. 

Tears have welled up. Talking with my mom. I don’t know what she said exactly, but for a moment, I thought: I will cry. But I didn’t. Death sort of hangs heavy, like a cloud, a veil between me and the world. It makes me think and feel horrible things like, none of this matters. I feel so empty with the thought that all the sweetness of all those moments means so little. It just goes up in a flash, in smoke. 

What do you do with the love that wants to reach out and find them safe on this planet? It stretches out to touch, but they are like a hologram, your hand moving past their visage and into nothingness. 

So instead of crying, I’m listening to Pedro the Lion sing, 

Wouldn’t it be so wonderful if everything were meaningless? But everything is so meaningful and most everything turns to shit. Rejoice.

I want to make sense of it. I want to make sense of how senseless it is. How a man can be alive one moment and gone the next. How we can hold bits and pieces of one another. How it feels to know that the love he had for me is gone, too. We didn’t leave things awful, but there were moments to connect that I chose not to connect. The last conversation I had with him was about who I am becoming, and he seemed happy for me, and I felt betrayed to learn that he talked about it later, even though I don’t think maybe he meant any harm by it. I feel sour that the last things that I felt about him were frustration. I feel sour that there’s no time for any more healing or reconciliation. I feel sad that time changes closeness to distance, if you’re not careful.

I think about “never enough time with the people you love” and feel grateful that I was able to be someone who loved him. I think about being “grateful to be alive at the same time” because how wild that any of us are, that any of us have any real opportunity to know anyone, and be known.

I think about all the letters we sent and how I was convinced that all the words that I had to write to him were so important, but they were mostly just me managing an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, and he just loved me, so he never minded that I sent him all of my thoughts in so much disarray. He not only never minded; he loved it.

I think about Lina, and how it must feel to have shared so, so, so much with him throughout the years. To have tried to love him with all her might. To have had to walk away to grow. How devastating it is to lose someone that you have loved so wholly and completely. 

I think about how complicated it feels to reach out to people who you’ve lost touch with, and how it feels to tell them, hey, I love you and you matter even though we don’t talk anymore. I think about how complicated it feels to tell people that someone that you both loved has died. People say, I was just thinking about him. People say, I meant to reach out. People say, I was just sharing a story he told me. People say, he was so special

I think about how inadequate it feels to be so numb about it. 

I think about skinny dipping together in the ocean, going out to the cliffs to watch the sunrise, taking photos in pretty places, foot massages with vanilla scented lotion, the giddiness he felt when we sat out on the tennis courts and he introduced me to Lina, him playing all those same songs on the guitar, like the Verve, and Eric Clapton, and playing Counting Crows on the piano, and about sitting close to one another watching movies, and him piercing my elbow just because, and just so many, many letters. I think about him baking bread. I think about him putzing around in the garage while I visited with Lina. Sitting on the porch until the wee hours. Trying out chewing tobacco. Being frustrated with his obsessive thinking about Lina. Feeling disappointed when he stood me up for New Years that one time. The first time that we met and he picked me up from the airport and felt so awkward that I didn’t know “the Pumpkins” were the “Smashing Pumpkins,” and how happy he was when Wendell came. How odd it feels to have all these precious moments sitting by themselves in this paragraph, as though I’ve reduced him to a paragraph. What I mean is that he was the sweetest part of my young adult life. What I mean is that he is an inner ring of my tree who my life formed around. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know how to excavate what that means. I regret that I didn’t do it sooner, when I could’ve told him, or who knows? Maybe I did. Maybe he knew. I hope so, but it doesn’t really matter now, does it.

[bastardizedbitching]

i’ve read two novels tonight it’s 3:31 am as i’m typing this if there’s a higher power fucking with us and running things down here i am staring at you and giving you the middle finger. i will become immortal using mcdonald’s preservatives and start slowly destroying the universe in seemingly innocent, harmless ways until everything we know is no longer recognizable and you will be left wondering how you lost control and the answer is ME BITCH. then i’ll make you into a giant egg eternals style and force you to die and recreate the universe but better because unlike you i don’t make the dominant species in a small pocket of my universe fucking ruin lives for shits and giggles. if there’s multiple people involved in running this shitshow i’ll do it chain reaction style everyone has to explode at the right time in order to make the new universe. and magic will be real and there will be a lot more good shit in the universe like FOOD. omigod food is so awesome. and the food won’t affect anyone’s health negatively which would be like. so sick. all of this will happen in a riverdale style plot where everything becomes more and more non sensical over time and you slowly go insane from the sheer weirdness of what is happening until you’re more insane than that guy in the mind electric. big mood honestly man sometimes you just need to sail out to your death that’s respectable goals. less respectable that you did this for your girlfriend but whatever romance is fine. kind of overused plot line whoever is writing this universe sucks at writing. change it up a little bit why aren’t enough people making musical masterpieces about that star trek shit huh. make a goddamn musical masterpiece album about those star trek concepts and then we have something new. or maybe here’s a better idea since there so much lovey dovey shit in there let there be music and let the music have GAY SEX where they are FUCKING RAW. as a certified singer bastard that’s a amazing concept. all these allo sexual folks describing the sex sounds and i have no idea what the fuck they are but if you have them MAKE SOMETHING WITH THE SEX SOUNDS. like y’all got so much to work with and no one is doing it it’s fascinating. take that first step. it only takes one person to start a trend of interesting shit. see there’s things like this in life now we gotta add some fucking horrors too but not the dull soul-sucking horror we have here with the government and capitalism and everyone wanting someone dead. PEACE AND LOVE MY DUDES. except for cops go fuck yourselves. see the universe writers had some interesting shit with my childhood where i hallucinated for a year when i was 7 we need more of that energy. not enough people these days lose their minds over non world ending shit we don’t need another disaster. actually while i’m at it WHAT THE FUCK IS THE GOP DOING?? some people really just turn off their brains and hear the most dogshit insane lies and parrot those statements word for word. sweetheart no that’s not the way go take some benadryl see the hat man expand your worldview and realize that not everything is about what is happening with our local stupid white karen assholes THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. honestly i’m pretty sure i got drunk off our vanilla extract i chugged a bunch of that shit. for fucks sake i mean it’s vanilla it should not taste spicy when i chug it. does vanilla minecraft mean nothing to you bastards?? hey another thing universe writers ever try fucking. MAKING NICE PARENTS. should not be up to half of my friends are on cps watch. i’d like to suggest some more of that peace and love 70s hippie energy. you wrote the goddamn protests live that truth. smoke weed and live a healthy stable life. now i understand perhaps you’ve been dropped as a child. or child abandonment. or parental murder. honestly all of those seem pretty common for god backstories so WE COMMIT TO THE BIT. however, consider talking your shit out. i’ve heard yoga does wonders. or a nice cup of tea. anyways peace out commit crimes be queer and disgusting about it feel the whimsy.

#some people have to worry about ‘wah wah people are watching me’ #GO STUPID GO CRAZY YOU BASTARDS #the world as we know it will probably end soon and none of this will mean anything in thousands of years #might as well be nice and stop hiding things and hold on to the good things in life #because anyways the universe writers are clearly giving up. i’ve seen burnt out writing that is literally our canon timeline #this is not some third eye shit but i don’t think the vanilla extract high will end so i will make other people suffer through it #PEACE OUT HOES I DONT REMEMBER ANYTHING IVE TYPES I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND ANY GOD THAT WAS ALIVE IS DEAD #IM JUST THAT AWESOME THE ANXIETY AND MENTAL ILLNESS WONT HIT TONIGHT MY DUDES #IM REMEMBERING HOW I USED TO BE BEFORE I GREW UP LIFE CAN BE GOOD #TIME TO READ ANOTHER NOVEL ABOUT SOME GAY BITCHES TILL I PASS OUT FROM THE MIGRAINE PAIN I LOVE YOU ALL

[mayacatherineworld]

Therapeutate Parfums

Rodney Hughes, founder of Therapeutate Parfums, was one of the most engaging and inspiring people I feel I’ve talked to in a long while. Breaking from tradition of what typically falls under the “fashion” moniker, he is the founder of Therapeutate Parfums, and in general is a master of scent. I loved his presentation from start to finish, and it was something that really resonated with beyond just a professional level.

As a personal believer in the power of ritual and spirituality, I was more than fascinated to hear the anthropological history of scent as well as the powerful capabilities it holds for healing. Rodney Hughes was incredibly well versed in these topics, especially being an anthropologist, professor, and highly educated parfumier. Hearing his story of using essential oils and his own concoctions to heal, in addition with yoga and meditation, his own body and mind was something I was a bit surprised but nevertheless really exciting to hear. 

When it comes to the fashion world, my biggest fear is that it’s a career path that might go against some of the things I personally find to have the most value in life. To be frank, I’ve sometimes wondered if it’s a field that’s really a good fit for me at all. I’m afraid of becoming disillusioned, of losing my compassion or connection to nature, of becoming alienated from myself. However, talking to Hughes genuinely did completely broaden my horizons and bring me a sense of understanding that the future is not so constrictive and that the fluidity and connections I value most are still possible. It was a message I really need to hear, especially in a city where it can sometimes be very easy to get lost. To have an adult that is successful both professionally and spiritually, with a business that’s a direct extension of their passion, was very reaffirming.

The visit consisted of mostly a lecture-style talk on the history of perfumes, the power of scent, and Hughes’s professional background. He worked in menswear for a large number of years before eventually turning his passion for essential oils into an actual perfume business, after studying independently and even in the South of France, in the “perfume capital” of Grasse. 

In his travels, he’s been afforded the opportunity to go far and wide. Studying in France and interacting with the local wildlife, to Italy, to Egypt, to Asia--he’s really smelled it all. I loved hearing about his adventures because it seemed like a much less constrictive view of what a career can be. In terms of competition, Hughes’s price point places him slightly below a lot of the high luxury brands but also above mass-market. His competition is more like smaller, similarly natural brands such as Phleur and Pour Le Monde.

The technicalities of the perfume business were a world I did not quite expect. I don’t often wear perfume (that will probably change now), but I do have some experience with using essential oils and incense for my space. Essential oils are a concentrated scent directly distilled from the plant or source. They are made only directly from natural materials. However, for the parfums and eaus, they are distinguished based off of how much they are diluted. From most to least diluted are eau de cologne (2%-6% concentrated perfume oil), eau de toilette (5%-15% concentrate), eau de parfum (15%-20% concentrate), and parfum (15%-40% concentrated). With these variations in smell come variations in potency, longevity, and scent profile.

As for me, I usually have kept it simple, using a black amber and vanilla lotion. I also like to use essential oils in a diffuser or directly on my body as well. After the lesson, though, I think I’ll probably become a customer of Therapeutate. I loved trying the different scents of rose and jasmine. Out of the perfumes, my favorite was Royal Water, which stayed on me all day. I think I’ll be coming back to it.

[dekuphilia]

Deku with a shy but very kinky fem!reader 👀

i dunno what your definition of kinky is, but here you go lol

warnings: choking, hair pulling, name calling, praise, very light degradation, face fucking, established relationship, dom/sub

(this isnt proof read, sorry if there are any errors, im lazy)

as always, smut under the cut

your relationship with your boyfriend had always been a bit vanilla, things started out slow and they continued to play out that way. You didn't mind, you were so happy Izuku was willing to go at your pace. he was so sweet, caring, and kind.

You admired his restraint, especially in the bedroom. Being a Pro hero, you knew Izuku’s strength, knew he could crush you in an instant if he wanted to, but he was always so soft with you, checking in on you often to be sure he wasn’t hurting you.

His kindness meant the world to you, it really did! You just wished sometimes he would treat you with a little less care, you weren’t some fragile flower, you were an adult. You knew you could handle a bit of pain, you just weren't sure how to ask him to treat you differently.

It was a normal Friday evening, Izuku came home from work a bit late, but you didn't mind.

“Hey bunny, sorry I was late tonight, Got a bit held up at the office.” He muttered, taking off his boots, “Had to deal with some moron.” He let out a grunt as he stretched. 

Your gaze landed on his muscular arms, the spandex of his suit clinging in all the right places, the sight nearly had you drooling.

“-just glad to be home, are you listening?” Izuku snapped, glaring at you.

“Sorry!” you squeaked,  “I was, jus’ got distracted!” you defended.

Izuku never came home this frustrated, he was a firm believer in keeping work issues separate from his home life. he didn’t like to burden you with things, though he did rant to you occasionally.

Forest eyes stared daggers at you, following your gaze in an attempt to see what was distracting you so much that you couldn’t listen. A slight smirk covered his lips as he realized.

“Really?” he barked, eyeing you and taking note of the way you shifted, rubbing your thighs together as you sat on the couch, “Can’t even listen to me for a few minutes before i stuff my cock into you?” he taunted.

Your cheeks flushed, he had never spoken to you this way before, the harsh tone in his voice had your arousal pooling between your thighs. You wanted to speak, but your voice caught in your throat, a small whine passing your lips instead.

“Why do you look so surprised, huh?” he moved closer, taking your face in his hand, squishing your cheeks between his forefinger and thumb, “I’ve seen that shit you’ve been readin’, baby.” he forced you to meet his eyes, shifting your face up, “You want me to be rougher with you, I’ll show you rough.”

His lips met yours in a needy kiss, teeth clashing as he shoved his tongue passed your lips with ease, enjoying the taste of you, as the kiss continued, he pulled closer. his fingers trailed from your face down to your neck, gently gripping it as he pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting you to him.

“You know, I’m only gentle with you because I don’t want to lose control,” he mused, applying a bit of pressure to your throat, just enough to leave you gasping for air, “but you’re really testing me tonight, aren’t you, brat?”

you were quick to shake your head, “I wasn’t!” you gasped out as he relaxed his grip, letting you breathe, “I’m sorry!” you whined, wanting to hide your face but Izuku had you pinned, unable to do anything.

“I’m sorry!” he mocked you, letting out a chuckle as your face flushed, “Show me then.” He moved back a bit, allowing you to move.

You gave him a confused look, eyebrows knitting together.

“You heard me,” he let out a breath, “Get on your knees, and show me your sorry.”

You immediately obeyed, dropping to your knees in front of the couch as Izuku settled in front of you, “Couldn’t even let me get changed,” He scoffed, freeing his cock from the spandex of his hero suit, “You’re really that desperate for me?”

“I just missed you,” you trailed off, eyes shifting away from him.

“C’mon, You wanted me, I’m right here.” he urged, lazily fisting his cock inches away from your face.

Without a word, you leaned forward, taking the head of his cock into your mouth. The taste of pre cum hit your tongue as you lapped at the tip. You took a bit more into your mouth, nearly gagging as it hit the back of your throat.

Izuku was growing impatient, a soft grunt passing his lips. “I think you can do better than that.” Fingers interlaced in your hair, pulling you down onto his cock more, causing you to gag and sputter around it, “Fuck.” he groaned, tugging on your hair.

You did your best, grateful you could breathe through your nose as his cock left no room for you to take a breath any other way.

With your hair in his fist, he held you steady, thrusting into your mouth at a quick pace, “Fuck, your throat is so tight.” he groaned, basking in the way your throat contracted around him, “good girl,” he huffed.

He continued, causing drool to pool in the corners of your mouth as you let him use you. You knew your throat would hurt by the end of the night, but you were in a state of euphoria, all you could think about was pleasing Izuku. You craved his praise almost as much as you craved his harsh words.

You stole a glance at him, he was nearly drooling as he watched the way you took his cock, a feral glint in his eyes.

“Oh my god, m’close, fuck.” groans filled the empty room as chased his high, teetering near the edge. His movements became sloppy as he lost the restraint he had left, tugging on your hair until you were flush against his pubic bone. “gonna cum, fucking god,” his head hung back as he came, coating your throat in thick white ropes. You couldn’t help but gag, coughing as he pulled his leaking cock from your lips, finally allowing you to breathe.

“Did I do good?” You peeked up at him shyly, taking your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Of course, baby, thank you so much.” he smiled, thumbing away the drool from your lips as he caught his breath, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Izuku.”

#izuku ꨄ #izuku x reader #izuku drabble #izuku smut #deku smut #deku drabble #deku x reader #mha smut #bnha smut #mha drabbles #bnha drabble #bambi answers

[leahblackk]

I have not sent in a request jn like 6 years but okay -

something maybe a lil big angsty but like spencer is being over the top sarcastic with reader. maybe they’re in an argument over his job or something some argument and Spencer is just being very rude and sarcastic to the point where reader can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and in the midst of their argument spencer is called away on a case, and comes home to see reader has left. (if u wanna fluff it up at the end he can apologize profusely and they can cuddle it out but up to you leah bc your mind is genius)

Hurtful words

(Not my gif)

Summary: a little blurb by my local amazing ideas giver, Alex. Let’s all say thank you Alex for this idea.

Couple: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: Spencer being a little shit. And mentions of being injured because of gunshot. And many mistakes I’m sorry :)

Oh my god yes! I feel like I haven’t done a blurb in years. Your blurb ideas are the ones that keep me going. And you are the genius!! Your ideas are extremely amazing and I’m happy I can make them true <3

Spencer Reid.

What a mystery that man was.

Y/n met Spencer as a sweet young man with glasses and cute jumpers. A man who didn't catch certain social things. He didn’t understood sarcasm in certain occasions or indirect messages or double intentions. Of course, he knew what it was, but he didn’t know how to act with it or how to use it.

Until he learned how to be passive-aggressive.

The first time Y/n ever saw Spencer being passive-aggressive with someone was with JJ when the Lauren/Emily thing happened. Spencer, of course, was very mad about it. JJ was his best friend, the person he most trusted besides his girlfriend. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t know. It wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone! He had the right to know that his friend whom he loved so much wasn’t buried five feet underground! He cried on his girlfriend floor for hours, and when he was too embarrassed by her looking at him, he went to JJ’s house. She saw him, she saw him crying his eyes out for her and she didn’t say a damn thing! Of course he was going to be mad.

Y/n never thought she had to worry about him being like that with her.

Spencer always has been a sweet man. But he isn’t when he’s under stress, mad or sad. The pressure over him made his IQ of 187 slashed to 63. He couldn’t think straight. And Spencer never worried about him being like that with his girlfriend. He didn’t had any reasons to be. She was all nice to him and cared about him.

But now, things changed while they were fighting in their shared apartment.

Y/n has been injured on a case after being reckless, or that was the way his boyfriend thought, but to be honest she saved a life, even if that got her hurt. She didn’t care. She would do it again. And that petrified Spencer.

Even if her doctor told her she could go back to the field. Spencer wasn’t going to have any of it. That was why they were fighting. Neither of them liked to deal with strong emotions. He wanted to say he didn’t want her to be there because he was scared he was going to lose her. He couldn’t lose her. She was his everything. His glue putting him together when the world tried to bring him down and shatter his heart. She was the thing that keeps him going. But instead of saying that, he was treating her badly and Y/n on her side wasn’t going to have any of it.

“Why can’t you understand, Spencer? I’m not a child. I can perfectly take care of myself.” She said putting her clothes on her go-bag while Spencer took them out.

He chuckled, “Perfectly take care of yourself? Yeah of course I believe you. When did you take care of yourself? When you put yourself in front of the unsub and he shot you? Yeah, Y/n, that’s taking care of yourself.”

She frowned.

That hurt.

“Excuse Spencer but you’re not no one to tell me what to do.”

“I’m your boyfriend!” He said, hurt.

“And? That doesn’t give you any right to tell me what to do. I’m a grown-up, Reid. If you didn’t notice. I’m not a child you can take care of.”

“Sometimes I think you are, you know?” He then looked at her, “You act worse than a child sometimes. Being so reckless and putting yourself in danger.”

“Like you haven’t done that yourself either.”

“I have! But I knew what I was doing. You weren’t thinking!”

“When is gonna be the day you understand you can’t tell me what to do?”

“When you stop being so reckless and actually take care of yourself,” He crossed his arms over his chest, “But apparently that’s not happening.”

She sighed with anger and looked at him. Throwing a shirt over his face and going downstairs to the kitchen to drink water and calm herself. Spencer followed her and entered the kitchen taking a glass of water as well.

She didn’t even look at him. He wanted her looking at him. He wanted to feel those eyes on him even if they were full of anger.

So he made it in the wrong way.

“And you said you’re not a child,” he murmured referring to her throwing the shirt on his face.

“What was that?” She turned around and look at him.

“You perfectly heard it, Y/n.”

“I can’t believe you’re the one calling me a child. Look at you,” she moved her hands up and down in front of him to make a point, “I’m going to that case you like it or not.”

“I wouldn’t risk the team to be with you on the case. They might end it up injured with your recklessness.”

Silence.

The words Spencer throw made echo in both lovers ears.

Reid bit his bottom lip regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Trying to take them back but the damage was already done.

Y/n looked at him without any emotion. Until her eyes start to burn and the tears came out. She lifted her hand with anger and wiped them off feeling her cheeks getting warmer and warmer.

Spencer looked at her and his heart ached. Why did he said that? She was a great agent. He was just scared of losing her and if by telling her that stuff, she would stay home safe, he would do it. But he regretted it now. He regretted it so much.

She chuckled without any humour and licked her bottom lip, tears coming down her face again.

But she let them now. Too tired.

Spencer’s first instinct was to step forward to her, but she stayed back putting her hands in front of him, to stop him.

She didn’t want to be touched by him.

He looked down.

He spends his life touching her. Loving her and worshipping her body. Touching her soft skin with soft moves, carefully not wanting to break her as she was a porcelain doll. But now, she didn’t want to be touched by him.

And Spencer understood.

He did.

It was all his fault at the end of the day. He made her stayed back when he wanted to pull her in. It was his fault. “I don’t want you to touch me,” she murmured and passed him taking her arms close to her so they wouldn’t brush his skin.

Spencer’s tears came down now.

I don’t want you to touch me.

She didn’t want him to touch her.

But all he wanted to do was touch her and let her know he didn’t mean those words. How could he? She was perfect in everything she did, her job included. Mostly her job.

Spencer didn’t notice how much time had passed while he stood frozen in the middle of their kitchen until he felt his phone buzzed. He took it out of his pocket. It was Morgan.

Hey Spencer. I know you love your girlfriend so much but we have to hurry! People are dying you know? Not everything is vanilla and roses like you two.

Spencer chuckled. Only if he knew.

He went upstairs with careful moves while he pressed his palms together trying to stop the trembling. He mostly did.

All her clothes were now in the closet, her go-bag as well. She wasn’t going to the case. It wasn’t a surprise. He knew he would achieve what he wanted after saying that. But now it didn’t felt right.

He moved closer to where she was. On their shared bed. He sat down. He was about to open his mouth to say something but she did it first. “Please don’t say anything. You have said enough and I think your thoughts are very clear,” her voice sounds broken. And was all his fault, “Just go. Tell the team I haven’t made full recovery yet.”

He nodded even if she couldn’t see him because she was hiding under the blankets.

What Spencer didn’t notice was the way after saying those words, her hands end it up on her mouth trying the sobs not to come out. She knew if Spencer heard those he would stay with her, even if they just argued. It was Spencer at the end of the day.

He would do anything for her.

Spencer full of guilty took his go-bag and walked directly to the door, looking at her once more.

He wanted to ask.

He needed to know.

You’re gonna be here when I come back?

You’re gonna still be here when I come back?

But the words never left his mouth. They got stuck on his throat. The pain and the tears as well. He needs to say he still loved her. That no matter what he still loved her. He loves her.

He-

He loves her.

But he couldn’t. So he turned around, and left.

When the front door closed Y/n finally let the sobs out.

…

The young doctor tried to avoid all the questions on why he was so grumpy and distracted.

The answer to those questions was “I just had a huge fight with the love of my life and I’m worried she leaves while I’m here. Even if she have every right to I’m still scared because she’s the only thing that keeps me going.”

But of course, he didn’t said it.

He just dismissed everything saying he didn’t have good sleep which didn’t make things better because later on, he was going to be teased by Emily and Morgan.

And when the case was finally closed, he ran to the closest flower shop to buy her favourite flowers and then he went to her favourite restaurant to get her favourite food to then ran to the metro all the way to their shared apartment.

He tried to manage to open the door with all the things in his hand but he couldn’t so he put his satchel and the flowers on the wooden floor, and he was about to put the food as well but then he thought about the germs even if the food was protected, so he put it above his satchel and he was finally able to open the door.

The lights were off which wasn’t weird of her. She wasn’t a lover of the lights of the apartment, always reminding Spencer that they needed to change them as they were too bright, but they never had time to do so, but that was exactly what Spencer was going to do tomorrow.

He then took off his shoes and put them next to the others, but her shoes weren’t there which was weird but he didn’t think too much about it. Maybe she forgot to take them off.

Spencer, then, open the door, even more, to put all the things inside of the house. He put his satchel on the little table next to the shoes and his keys as well.

Her keys weren’t there.

Spencer’s heart stopped.

Her keys weren’t there.

He breathed in and out softly trying to calm his desperate heart beating faster and faster on his chest wanting to get out. He put his palms together trying to stop the trembling but this time was impossible.

He took the flowers with him and went upstairs closing the front door behind him and he open the door of their shared bedroom.

She wasn’t there.

She-

She wasn’t there.

Where did she go?

Did she leave?

No.

No.

“No,” Spencer whispered the tears coming down his eyes.

She wouldn’t. Even if she was mad. She wouldn’t do that as everyone else did without any more explanation than a letter or a note.

A letter.

He needed to find the letter.

He searched on their bed and the tables beside their side of the bed. He didn’t look in their closet or bathroom because she wouldn’t leave that there.

Spencer went downstairs to the kitchen looking for the letter on the dining table and outside of the refrigerator. But there was none.

He, then walked to the living room looking and moving things making a mess.

He needed to read the letter.

She must have left a letter.

Everyone else left a letter.

And the door open but he didn’t heard it because of his desperation and the sound of his heartbeat making echo in his hears

He needed to find the letter.

He turned around and she saw her. Standing there with a sundress and her hair tied. She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful, but she had a frown on her face looking with confusion at her surroundings, the mess he just made and then back to Spencer repeatedly.

And then he understood he needed to explain himself. “I-I,” he looked down and closed his eyes full of tears for a few seconds. She saw the trembling on his hands. She made a step forward from instinct but then she stopped as she remembers what happened between them. He looked up at her. He couldn’t get the words out of his mouth but she waited for him to talk, patiently while he tried to find the correct words. “I came here right away. Well not right away because I went first to the flower shop and then to your favourite restaurant,” he rambled looking at her. She didn’t stop him. She didn’t have any intention to stop him. Instead, she listens carefully. She always listens, “you weren’t at home and I’ve been nervous all these past days because I thought you would leave, and you had every right to and then I came back here and you weren’t and I looked for a-a note or letter.”

Her heart shattered.

People that left his life always left a note or a letter. She remembers when he told her that.

“I didn’t leave,” he nodded. She didn’t. She stayed. “Penelope called me and she needed help with something and then she asked me if I knew why you were acting so weird and I talked to her for a while and I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m sorry.”

He shocked his head. Stepping forward to her. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have treated you so badly and I want you to understand that I didn’t mean a single word because you are so great and so amazing in everything you do. I would never mean those words,” now was her turn to nodded, “I just said that because after you being injured, I didn’t want you to hurt yourself or even get killed. I’m selfish, yeah I know that. But you’re my everything, Y/n. Without you, I don’t know what will I do, you’re the only one who keeps me together and the one who brings light to my darkness. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he took her hands looking for permission first, “I said those things because I knew you would stay home, but I didn’t mean them I swear I didn’t.”

She nodded again and hugged him. He sobbed while he hugged her as his life depends on it. “I know. It’s okay love. I won't leave you I promise,” she sobbed too. “I love you.”

“I love you more, so so much.”

And they held each other while they sobbed and repeat those three little words back and forth.

They were home now.

They were okay now.

#criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #doctor reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #Spencer Reid blurb #leahsrequests

[spiderlilyserendipity]

Obviously, pretty!

JJK x female reader

Tags: established relationship, rainy day sex, washing dishes together, soft domestic things yk, probably the most vanilla smut i’ve ever written on this account hahaha thank u for cleansing my mind with ur request anon, forehead kisses, i didn’t need to tag that but i Needed to tag that u feel me?

Warnings: none

WC: 2137

If there’s anything you know about your boyfriend, it’s that if he can’t go to the gym, he will pout all day.

After going too hard in dance practice, Jungkook ends up too sore to go to the gym one day. His trainer must’ve heard from the choreographer that Jungkook overdid himself, which is why Jungkook’s trainer told him their session for today was cancelled.

“What am I supposed to dooo if I can’t work out on my day off!” Jungkook complains, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wash dishes.

“You could help your wife clean the house.” You joke, knowing it’s your turn to wash dishes anyway since Jungkook made breakfast (or rather brunch) this morning.

You feel Jungkook smile, his cheek fluffing up where it’s pressed against yours. His face gets a little hot whenever you call yourself his wife, but you know he likes it. The two of you are college sweethearts, starting to date in secret shortly after meeting in first year. Fast forward six years and everything has changed. Your doe-eyed college boyfriend is no longer just an idol but part of the most successful band in the world. And not only that, he’s getting a master’s in business, a slightly confusing decision but one that you respect nonetheless.

You yourself have changed, too. You’re now a business woman, working in a skyscraper in Seoul, and doing considerably well for being only two years out of college. You make good money, and Jungkook does too, and you share this high-rise apartment together. Every year, you and Jungkook sneak away to Busan at least once or twice to meet his parents and your own parents have already begun asking when they’re getting grandchildren. So it’s safe to say it’ll only be a matter of time until Jungkook puts a ring on it anyway.

No one knows, but that’s what makes it special.

“Can’t do that.” Jungkook answers, pretending like your flirting didn’t affect him.

You smile as you rinse another plate off. “Why’s that?”

“It’s raining. If I do work while it rains I’ll get sleepy.” Jungkook pouts.

You laugh, rinsing a cloth under the tap and putting it in his hand. “Go wipe down the stovetop. It should be cold by now.”

Obediently, Jungkook lets go of you to do as you said. But you realize he hasn’t let the joke go when he pouts at you. “Okay, work done. Let’s go lay down.”

“Baby, you’ve literally done concerts in the rain.” You tell him.

“I don’t even do concerts. I’m a business major.” Jungkook lies unconvincingly, his cheeks turning pink. You giggle, finishing up the last of the dishes.

“Fine, you big baby. Let’s go lay down.” You take his hand and lead him back to the bedroom. Jungkook shuts the door behind you. You take off the sweatshirt you were wearing to wash dishes (one of Jungkook’s), tossing it aside.

“Babe, that’s not neat!” Jungkook insists, but you whirl around and quiet him with a long kiss.

“You didn’t ask me to come here to do our laundry, Jungkookie. You and I both know that.” You tell him. Jungkook bites his lip, looking at your pretty lips.

“I guess that’s true.” He grins, and you grin back.

You wrap your arms around his neck and Jungkook leans down, picking you up into his arms with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist as he bounces you in place slightly, hands cupping your ass softly. You love many things about Jungkook, but you especially love how special he makes you feel each time.

Jungkook lays you down like a newlywed bride, pressing soft kisses on your cheeks, forehead, even your nose.

You giggle at him and he smiles down at you, warm and safe and entirely Jungkook. “I love you.” You whisper, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone, admiring that little scar on his cheek for the millionth time.

“Not as much as I love you.” Jungkook says, laying himself down on top of you and starting to kiss you again, this time with more passion.

“Hhh, Jungkook.” You whimper, tangling a hand in his hair.

When you separate this time, Jungkook sits up to take off his shirt. You run your hand down his sculpted abdomen, over his sweet, pretty waist and his toned stomach. You sit up to kiss along his chest, making him hiss as you make love marks in places his shirt will cover. No one knows, except you two. And you love it like that.

Jungkook tucks his hands under the light tank top you’re wearing, making you gasp at how cold his hands are. Jungkook laughs under his breath at your reaction. “I told you rainy days are bad for me.”

“Well that’s why I’m here to warm you up.” You joke, which makes Jungkook giggle.

“What would I do without you?” He says exaggeratedly, but his eyes tell you he means it. With that, Jungkook begins kissing along your neck as he works your tank top up. Since it’s just the two of you, you seldom wear a bra around the house. You moan as Jungkook pulls the tank top over your head, then in one swift motion presses you down into the bed.

Jungkook slots his thigh between your legs as he starts kissing you lower. He licks and bites gently at your nipples, making you writhe in pleasure. You watch through half-lidded eyes as he makes love marks on the tops of your breasts and around them, kissing down your stomach to your shorts.

He glances up at you for consent, and you nod.

He pulls your shorts and panties off in one clean movement, tossing them to the side despite having just told you to be neater. You grin at Jungkook’s eagerness, but the smile slides off your face when Jungkook wraps his lips around your clit.

Slowly, Jungkook gets you wetter and wetter until your inner thighs are shiny with arousal. Only when you’re whimpering does Jungkook insert his fingers into you, one to ease you and then a second to stretch you. Even after all this time, Jungkook pays special attention to your body.

He’s so slow and gentle today that you actually get a bit needy. “Jungkookie.” You sigh. Jungkook sits up, knowing that you’re already close.

“I know, baby. You’re doing so well.” Jungkook praises, kissing you all over, down your neck and along your collarbone. You watch as Jungkook takes his sweats and underwear off, then grabs a bottle of lube from the bedside drawer. You stopped using condoms when you moved in together (around two years ago) since you’re on birth control. Jungkook always has you ready to take him after some foreplay, but he’s told you he dislikes doing it without lube.

You watch Jungkook lube himself up, then align himself to your entrance. He places one palm on the side of your waist, kissing you quickly on the forehead. “Ready?” He checks with you again. You nod.

You pant quietly as Jungkook enters, both from arousal and his size. It has been years since you did this together for the first time, but Jungkook’s size is always a surprise to you somehow. You like to be stubborn and say you don’t need lube to take him, but you both know you’d need at least a bit for his size.

You pull him in even closer, burying his head in your shoulder. As he bottoms out, you moan his name quietly.

Jungkook smirks, knowing he has you in the palm of his hand. You pull him in for a kiss, this one full of tongue and passion. Jungkook feels your desperation and lets you have control for a moment, just to let you burn off steam. But then, he’s angling his head in and pressing you into the pillow, and you don’t stand a chance under how good he’s making you feel.

“Baby, I need it.” You beg breathlessly. Jungkook smiles faintly at your shyness to say the word “come” in bed, even after all this time.

“Need what, baby?” He teases you, knowing full well you’ll never use dirty talk unless he pushes you to that point. You whine at his teasing. Jungkook kisses your shoulder. “I’m kidding. I know my pretty girl is too shy for words like that.”

“I’m not shy!” You protest shyly. “We-We’re having sex right now! I’m not shy at all!”

Jungkook snorts. “Great observation, genius. Any other amazingly dirty comments?”

You’re starting to squirm under Jungkook’s intense gaze, knowing you always lose at this game. “I want to have a baby!” You announce.

Jungkook laughs. “Give me time to buy a ring at least.”

You’re shocked. “Really?” You ask, eyes wide like someone who Christmas came early for.

Jungkook flicks your nipple with one hand, making you cry out. “Obviously, pretty.” He says confidently, making you think he’s thought about it before. You blush and Jungkook looks at you like you’re an angel he’s captured in his own hands. “Now if you’re done being raunchy and nasty, can we get off? My hips were already sore but having a conversation in this position is even worse than the gym.”

“Baby!” You gasp, scandalized.

Jungkook pretends to look scandalized too. “I said let me buy a ring first!”

You groan into his shoulder, knowing he won again. Jungkook laughs, then starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts.

You let out little strings of moans and pants as Jungkook continues to fill you up and make you feel good. You wrap your arms around Jungkook’s back, holding him close as he fucks into you. You tilt your head back and close your eyes at the pleasure. All you hear are Jungkook’s moans and the rain falling outside your window. At one moment, you wonder if it’s cold out, but then you realize it doesn’t matter. You’re warmer than anything else in Jungkook’s strong arms.

“J-Jungkook--” You feel the pleasure building, about to come.

“I know, baby.” Jungkook says, laying you down all the way again and holding you under his weight as he picks up his pace. Jungkook looks at you, watching your face tighten at every euphoric thrust. “Doing so well baby, almost there. Fuck, my pretty girl.” He showers you in praise and kisses, words falling from his mouth so fast you know he isn’t filtering any of his thoughts at the moment. You love that too, you love everything about him.

Finally, Jungkook’s hips begin to stutter, and he reaches down to rub your clit. You arch your back as you come, Jungkook filling you up shortly after. As you come down from your highs, Jungkook rolls over onto his side, still inside you. He spoons you, tugging the covers on top for a quiet moment.

You find it surprising since Jungkook is quite fussy about cleanliness, wanting to get you in the shower and to air out the room relatively soon after sex. But today he doesn’t even slip his cock out of you, choosing to be nestled deep inside you. It feels warm, but you like it.

“K-Kookie. Why aren’t we getting cleaned up?” You ask.

Jungkook smiles at your tone with his eyes closed. “If you want to get pregnant we have to keep the come inside, don’t we?” He says. You smack his arms which are wrapped around your waist, making him chuckle.

Jungkook cranes his head to make eye contact with you. You look at his sweaty bangs which Jungkook pushed back from his face near the end but fell back onto his forehead messily anyway. It’s the most beautiful sight you know. “Just kidding. I’m just tired today. We’ll shower after resting for a bit, unless you don’t like this.”

You realize now that Jungkook must truly be exhausted from work yesterday. You cup his face, stroking it quietly. “I don’t… hate it.” You admit.

Jungkook’s eyes darken. “Watch your words, pretty girl.” He warns you. “I only have so much self-control and your dad will beat my ass if I get you pregnant without putting a ring on it.”

“Do you really have to go and mention my dad right now?” You whine. “And anyway, no one can beat your ass. You’re 6 feet of solid muscle and have a sleeve tattoo, no one would try.”

Jungkook laughs. “Okay fair, no more mentioning my father-in-law from now on.” He says, making you groan in complaint again. Jungkook smiles fondly at you. “But you know I meant that, right? I want to marry you someday and have kids and all that. I don’t know when, since you and I are so busy, but maybe when things slow down we can. Okay?”

You snort. “Obviously, pretty!"

#bts smut #bts fics #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut

[izaanagi]

“darling, dearest,dicked„

※ Your colleague Suguru invites you over to his house to spend the night because it is raining, you don’t have an umbrella and his house is relatively nearer.

pairing: getou suguru x f!reader

⊘ warnings: mdni! mature content; slightly possessive behaviour; mentions of:fingering; nipple play; unprotected and rough sex; oral sex.

wc: 2.1k

a/n: interactions are welcome and very much appreciated.

It’s raining when you step out of the office; it’s honestly concerning how hard it is pouring down, especially because it’s starting to get chilly at night - and it seems like the world came to a halt. It would be a simple, no matter Tuesday if only your damn Metro card would work, you had an umbrella and your shoes weren’t soaked to the bone. It feels like a plot against you. It’s when you are on the verge to splurge on a taxi fare ride, that you hear a voice, getting nearer and nearer and shouting your name.

You see Getou Suguru stopping his run, hands on his knees, framing kneeled and panting. He clearly run over to you, and before you can ask yourself why, he straightens and his gaze rounds you from bottom to top. His gaze is intense, and his eyes are mesmerizing: you feel your whole body shiver under his stare. His hair is messy, and dark locks of it hang around his man-bun, in the way he styles it when he works. Clearly, he just got out of the office.

“Oh thank God, I thought you didn’t hear me,” he blurts, blushing a bit, and scratching his neck. You smile at him, because he is just adorable. “I did hear you, Getou-San,” you bow a bit, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Getou is absolutely stunning, and every fit that he owns just clings to him smooth skin and his toned body - and you can’t help but just lose your reason, for a split second, when he looks at you like that, as if nothing else matters. He smiles softly at you and then points at the street, on which there are still a few taxis running around. “Were you going to burn half of your monthly income on one of those?” he candidly asks, and while that should not come as surprise, you still feel yourself blushing, conscious of how you must look to his eyes: wet, disheveled and desperate. You shrug. “Better that than staying out here.” He is amused, and both of you are getting soaked - entirely because you both forgot to check the (wrong) forecast.

“Can’t deny that. But instead of spending money you could save towards those cute little earrings you always ogle on a taxi ride, given that you do manage to catch one, why don’t you repair yourself at my apart? It’s behind the corner of the block, and you could just wait the rain out,” he drops like nothing. Your mind gets racing about the implication of such an offer, but then you remember how this is Getou , an outstanding citizen and a man who eats respect and responsibility for breakfast. Maybe his offer it’s not so bad, just a little unusual. “Could I really do that?” you ask gingerly, and see Getou just smiling. “But of course. Don’t tell anyone, but you’re my favourite in the office, so it would a pleasure of mine offering a safe and warm place in this weather,” Getou says while looking around, through the thick courtain has formed around you. Warm sounds nice at the moment, especially because he is getting soaked because of you, and that can’t absolutely do. So you nod and Getou takes your wrist to drag you along, as fast as your legs allow it.

When you cross the entrance, and a your fingers go numb from the difference in the temperature between inside and outside, you sigh of relief. Getou’s apartment is clean, neat and warm exactly as he promised. It’s a bit impersonal, but you pay no mind. As soon as you get home, Getou throws every wet cloth on the tile floor, exposing his wet skin and his defined back. He goes inside a room and comes out holding a towel in one hand, and the other over his shoulders. “I figured you might need one,” he says while holding out the fluffy towel. “The bathroom is the second door over there,” he indicates a wooden door at the end of the corridor. You follow the simple instructions, when you notice that if you take off your damp clothes, you’ll be left in your panties and bra, which while comfortable, is not entirely decent to do to a colleague’s house. “Getou-san! I am so sorry to ask this, but could I use the drier to hang my clothes?” you ask sheepish. But nothing comes as an answer. Then you hear a knock on the door, and Getou saying that he is leaving some clothes for you outside. You notice right away how big they look on you. They smell the same way Getou does, money and vanilla detergent.

When you finally step out the bathroom, Getou is sitting on the sofa, with the remote in hand and house wear which should be illegal in several different countries. You swallow a lump in your throat and approach Getou on the couch, when he lands his eyes on you. You feel the air changing and his pupils dilate. His gaze is fixed on your figure swallowed up by his large clothes, and he seems outwardly shaken. He shakes his head and pats the space near himself. “I hope you’re a bit warmer than you were when I found you,” he says, eyes on the screen in front of the couch, carefully avoiding yours. “Oh yeah, thank you so much Getou-San,” you answer right away. You are a bit nervous, and Getou’s hands on his knees are distracting. “You could call me Suguru, you know? After all, we are not in the office anymore,” he glances at you, hesitant but also hopeful. It feels a bit weird, but you nod and say “Thank you Suguru-san, then.” He smiles at you, and you feel a tad more comfortable, enough to set yourself on the sofa and close your eyes.

You must have dozed off, and taken Suguru’s space in the meantime, as you find yourself pressed against his chest, laying on him, while his head is bent to the side, intent to watch the motioned images of a TV program. He looks at you and your eyes go wide, you blush and start squirming around in order to put yourself in a seated position, with little success. Suguru’s hand is still on your waist, and he does not seem intent on letting you go. 

“Suguru-san? I am so sorry for falling asleep on you,” you fumble, but Suguru is staring at you vacantly - and it’s then that you notice something hard pressing on your thigh. Something that definitely isn’t the remote, still in Suguru’s hand, nor both of your phones laying on the table. “You don’t really realise, do you?” He asks. You shake your head. You hear him sigh deeply. “Of the damn effect you have on me.” He moans out. “Your hair sweeping those shoulders, the way you puck your lips, those swaying hips, your nipples peaking out of your shirt,” he blurts out calmly, like a man inside a brewing storm, “they just drive me crazy.” You have no idea of what you are doing. You are in a man’s apartment, a man who is objectively attractive and who you masturbated thinking of, wearing his clothes and currently on top of him. “Suguru-san…” you try. But he shakes his head. “I’m sorry to say, but I won’t be able to control myself if you stay here any longer. It stopped raining a while ago.” He looks pained while saying those words. So you take courage and try to be forward. “Do, mh, do you..want to do something about it?” You ask with the timid tone you can manage. Your head is spinning, and the hard dick pressing on you isn’t helping. You can already feel your panties getting wetter by the second, and your nipples are way past being hard. You wonder how is Suguru not noticing the response of your body. But then his gaze turns fiery, and then cold. “My darling, I won’t be holding out much longer. If you don’t get out of here in the span of few minutes, I..” He takes a deep breath. “I, have little control over myself when it comes to you. I want you - and I want you now even more. So yes, I do want to do something about my hard cock down there, but I am not going to force you, and I don’t want you to feel obliged to do anything just because I become unreasonable when you touch me.” But you are not even listening anymore, so you just take off your shirt, revealing your naked breasts, and feel Suguru’s breath hitch. “I want you too, Suguru-san,” you hear yourself says and the next thing you know is Suguru licking your pink bud, feeling heat pooling in your lower abdomen. He sucks on your left nipple, with you still straddling him. His hands are everywhere, and there is no space between you anymore. A hand ends up twisting you nipple so hard you whimper, so Suguru soothes the pain with his tongue. He pinches and then sucks on your stiff nipples so many times you lose count. You can feel hands and tongue, lapping everything they can. You don’t even notice how his hand ends up in your wet panties, and without teasing just penetrate your cunt. It makes you gasp, and Suguru takes up a rhythm of his fingers going in and then going out, faster until he sucks on your nipple so hard that you cum. But he does not care, and puts a second finger in. Even that, however, is not enough. Your pussy is pulsating, cum flowing out but the presence of Suguru’s hands inside of you do not let your relax enough. You feel the heat already forming, and you can’t help but moan. 

“You are so pretty,” Suguru lets out and breathes right into your ear, making your pussy clench around his fingers. Suguru breath is ragged, and you feel him taking a breath in. 

“My darling,” he sighs putting his head on your shoulder and pressing a feather light kiss on your exposed skin “I am about to cum right here if you do that again,” he says seriously. “Please cum, Suguru-san,” you tell him and inadvertently your hand squeezes lightly his clothed cock, swollen. You put your hand inside of his joggers, just to feel pre cum pooling on his tip, no boxers hiding his bulge. Water pools in your mouth, but you a want, a need to feel him inside you overwhelms you. 

“Please fuck me, Suguru-san,” you tell him. And you don’t have to repeat it twice. 

You feel Suguru taking off his pants, his member springing free, the prettiest shade of red in his full glory. He takes off your pants all the way, and does not care about aligning himself, that he slams into you. His grip on your hips is harsh, bruising, but when he starts pounding into you, his mouth colliding with yours for the first time you lose the sense of time. You just feel his cock slamming into you, one, two, three times, so deep that his balls touch your sensible points every time Suguru goes in. The couch is large enough, but you still feel Suguru on you, fucking into your cunt violently, lips not leaving yours. Your hips start moving as well, welcoming Suguru’s cock as deep as you can, length swallowed up in the red hole of your pussy so good. “You take me so well my dear,” he whispers at you, before moving his mouth to suck on your left nipple. He fastens his pace, and reaches the point inside you at which you can’t do anything else but scream. You usually never scream, and moan rarely but Suguru’s cock inside you and his mouth of your breast is enough to drive you to the edge. Then it’s a question of moments that you feel yourself fall and explode on Suguru’s dick, right before he pulls out to cum on your stomach, with shots ending up to your breasts and chin. You milk him until the end, and feel him shiver a few times, before he gathers the spilt cum and takes it to your lips, which you lap up. 

“Suguru-san, I..”you try to complete a sentence with meaning, but nothing comes out of you. Your pussy feels drilled in, and you are pretty sure your hips are bruised, exactly like your nipples, which have never felt so cared for. You want to do it again. Now.

“Please fuck me again,” you then hear yourself say. Suguru smiles and then lowers himself just a bit. “If you let me eat you out first,” he says, licking the cum and penetrating your hole with his tongue. “You can do whatever you want with me, Suguru-san.”

He heads up, and blows on your hot and wet cunt. 

“With great pleasure.”

#jjk writing #jjk imagines #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen oneshot #jujutsu kaisen smut #getou suguru #getou suguru x you #getou smut #getou suguru x reader #getou x reader #getou x you #geto smut #.🩸 #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #getou oneshot

[greypoth0ts]

Friends to lovers

characters: ushijima wakatoshi genre: fluff! :D

You were good friends, but you both had feelings for each other.

You didn't know how to really tell Ushijima how you felt. You were afraid that if you confessed and he didn't feel the same, things would change between you and you couldn't afford for that to happen.

You would usually wait for Ushy to finish practice on a Friday night and walk home together. It was your usual routine since you met Ushy. It was just a random initiation and the both of you kept to the tradition throughout the year. Theres nothing to complain about though. Friday nights are your favourite. Not only do you get to walk home with your favourite person on earth, you get to spend time with your favourite person on earth.

"here, y/n. you must be hungry after that long wait. sorry we took slightly longer today. had some formation to practice." he handed you a granola bar.

He always kept an extra granola bar, the vanilla one. He knows it's your favourite.

"thanks Ushy! can always count on you to have the granola bar." - you took from him and smiled.

Ushy couldn't help but smile watching you chomp away on the granola bar. He likes it when you're well fed. With Ushy around, he never allows you to go hungry.

He grabbed you by the hand and said "lets go"

You were stunned. Where were we going? You don't have a clue.

"just follow me and you'll see." ushy held your hands tighter.

"this isn't the usual route home.." you thought to yourself. But it was clear that Ushy is making you climb up the hill.

"Ushy! Are you going to kidnap me and kill me here or something..." you joked.

"I would never do that to you. Just follow me, ok? Trust me. I wouldn't hurt you."

Ushy is telling you that he wouldn't hurt you. Of course it eased your mind and followed him.

He led you to an empty patch of grassland and the skies were brightly lit with stars.

He put down his bag, took out a mat and laid it on the floor. He sat down and patted on the empty space next to him.

he stretched his hands, "come here, y/n."

you took his hand and sat beside him.

the both of you set in comfortable silence. amazed at how brightly lighted the skies were.

"what's your ideal type of guy, y/n?" Ushy broke the silence.

"uhhhh.. my ideal type of guy?" you got caught off guard by his question.

"you" - your heart raced. but you just couldn't say it. you were too afraid.

"uhhhh, I don't know. I want a love that is fierce, fiercely loyal in times of adversity. But also soft. Soft, reliable and gentle in times of vulnerability. Tough. Tough when I need it." I don't know. I just want to know that I am safe with that person.

Ushy nodded. He understood exactly what you said.

"what about you, Ushy?" You posed the question back to him.

There was radio silence for about 10 seconds. "you, you're my ideal type." he broke the silence.

"mmmme?" you stuttered. the Ushijima Wakatoshi said I'm his ideal type?!

"you're kidding right Ushy. haha come on! waiting for your punchline." you poked at him.

Ushy had a straight face. "I'm not kidding, y/n."

"I've had these strong feelings for you for awhile now. I just didn't know when I should be confessing to you. So today, I thought, I'll just take a chance."

You flushed. He.. likes me....? I'm so ordinary, but he likes me?

"y/n.. you there?" he shook you.

"actually, the ideal characteristics that I have told you just now.. its all you. you know Ushy? I like you too. but I never really gotten the courage to tell you anything because I didn't want to lose the friendship. But you, you loved me fiercely in times where things were tough. You were soft and gentle when something upsetting happens in my life. You were there to catch me whenever I fall. And whenever I am doing something or belittling myself, your tough love always somehow calls me out for the stuff that I am doing and telling me how I am good enough, and that my negative thoughts are just thoughts, they don't represent reality. So yes Ushy, you're my type too."

Ushy put his arms around you & held you closer, you could smell his fresh clothes.

"so y/n.. would you.. make me the happiest man on earth and be my girlfriend?" - Ushy asked gently, looking at you.

"it would be my pleasure, to be loved by you." - you smiled.

And from then on, it felt like it was the both of you.. against the world. You felt invincible.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #Ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi x y/n #ushijima fluff #ushijima wakatoshi x fluff #haikyuu x fluff #ushijima fic #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima hcs #ushijima headcanons #ushijima x you #ushijima imagine #ushijima scenarios

[kissmetae]

Hope

❧ AU: x Taehyung || Friends to Lovers (Lowkey slow-burn)

You felt distressed, caught up in your own emotions and confused by your over-thought thoughts. Going through a rough patch as some would say, where everything felt hopeless and you found yourself scrolling pinterest till 1am looking for "angsty" core aesthetics to fit your new "vibe" of life. But it was easier said than done to dig yourself a hole when your best friend constantly stood by filling the hole back up as you dug in an attempt to stop you, help you and make you feel better, despite having his own issue to deal with... his crush on you.

|| ANGST + SMUT | 11k | x reader | masterlist in bio ||

❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic.  Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.

❧ Rating: EXPLICIT || sexual content, unprotected sex ||  Warnings: mention of feeling hopeless, "deep reflection", (reader is troubled by something going on in their life but it's open for interpretation/unspecified)

❧ Smut features: Vanilla, desperate, first time together, unprotected, reassuring/concent asking/'checking in' (is this ok? Does it feel good?) top!Tae and a power outage.

How do you know when you've reached the complete state of hopelessness? Do people ever become 100% hopeless? You inhaled deeply and sighed it out. Gaze to the white ceiling, back on the bed and legs up against the wall. The tingle in your feet from the lack of circulation made them look somewhat less alive and feel cold. With a tilt of the hips you allowed your legs to slowly fall to the side, forming a new pose in the shape of a 90 degree angle on the bed and allowing for the less zombie-ish color to return to your feet. Hopelessness. Feeling like there is no point yet still stubbornly aching in the inner crevice of the head with a wish for there to be a chance for something else. A change, a plot twist a sudden eureka to make the entire world loose it's zombie color pallet and become lively and vibrant again. Hope. Or a wish for hope. It's probably some basic programming, like survival instinct, hope instinct. But at this point you didn't want to believe. You wanted to be grumpy, upset, frustrated. To curse society and curse what isn't fair and curse all the norms and expectations around you regardless of who made them up! Curse the media, curse the mold for perfect and the lip filler ads, curse the restrictions planted by your own beliefs and curse the cause of said belief! But feeling frustrated and angry is hard. Not only is it exhausting but it's the hardest emotion to let out fully and feel satisfied by after. If anything anger and frustration feels like a self-fueling fire that keeps burning more and more until you get exhausted and slump down on the bed with your legs up the wall. Crying would've been easier. You sat up, feeling a brief spin in the head due to your advanced modelling poses and reached for your water bottle. Water, Zen, calm rivers, refreshment, sound of clucking water in the harbor... rain. You turned towards your bedroom window at the sudden raging pattering sound outside. Even the sky needed to cry today. You reached for your phone, having it be faced down for the past hour or so after giving up on ranting about your dilemma to your friend. You had two types of friends. Those who were there for you when convenient and those who were there for you regardless. Taehyung was one of them. 3 missed calls. 15 texts- make that 16. A sting of guilt washed through realizing he must've been worried sick the past hour. Too exhausted to use your vocal chords you opened the text chat. Taehyung was the definition personified of a caring person. Sometimes to the extent where you'd question if it was more than anyone deserved. Did the world deserve Taehyung? You didn't make it through the second text before your doorbell rang followed by a loud bang. It sounded urgent... You got up from bed and slipped your feet into your white fluffy slippers and made your way to the front door of your apartment. You unhooked the clasp and unlocked your door to see one of the rainstorm's victims dripping water onto your doormat. Taehyung, Dressed in a green raincoat and hair clinging to his forehead and temples. His chest was rising unnaturally with his attempts to regain his breathe. "Tae-" He stepped in, an arm wrapping around your side and the other pressing your head to his wet shoulder. "If you didn't make me so worried... I would've removed my raincoat before hugging you." He squeezed. "See this as my revenge." His heart was beating fast. He pulled back after a few seconds, breathing stable and his red hands reaching to unbutton his raincoat. Did he not wear gloves? He pulled the door shut behind him and gently kicked off his boots. Apparently not. "I'll... go hang your raincoat in the bathroom for it to dry" you said, taking it from him. He was quick to address the elephant. "Why didn't you reply to my texts?" He followed behind you. "I... I left my phone to charge and I got distracted..." you made up, hanging his raincoat up in the shower. "I didn't come here to scold you, but when you tell me you're feeling hopeless, you get that it makes me worried right?" His voice was gentle and he looked at you with concerned eyes, stood in the door to the bathroom. Actually.... you didn't. Why would anyone worry... everyone seemed to always take it as nihilistic comedy or something and swat it away with something along the lines of "you’re just hungry" or the classic "are you on your period?" Maybe you were or maybe you weren't but why would that matter? Just thinking about it made you feel annoyed. As if any deep emotion only was caused by a period, it's just a period, why would anyone, let alone someone with a period themselves ask someone else that in a way that minimizes the reason they feel upset or angry or whatever emot- "Hey?" Taehyung pulled you back out from inside your head. "I don't know..." He crossed his arms over his chest and you knew that look far too well. "We'll talk about it, but right now, I'm here to make it better and take care of you. Did you eat?" You shook your head. "Great! Because I stopped by at the shop on my way... before the rain attacked me and picked up some stuff, including~" he said with an eager tone and walked towards the grocery bag you hadn’t noticed until now. He picked it up and dug his hand in for something. "Du du du du" he sang dramatically and slowly pulled out the familiar dark blue packaging. The love of your life, the source of all things good. Chocolate. The good one! Not the weird orange wrapping one you hated, but the blue one, the holy blue one, your favorite one. "I remember your frustration when you saw the empty shelf of horror last week and it was restocked today so i picked up three just in case." "THREE?!" "Mhm!" He nodded proudly. You could cry, finally, but for other reasons. "TaeTae you're the best." You walked towards him, hugging him tight. He was the bestest of the best, the hero, the savior, chocolate delivery man. Oh what would life be without him. A blush spread across his cheeks. "You did it again." He said shyly "Hm? Did what?" "You called me TaeTae." "You don't like it?" "... I do." -- Taehyung had you stationed at the kitchen table while he cooked. With a focused gaze he scrolled on his phone, reading the next step for the recipe while stirring the pot. You were pretty sure he knew this recipe by heart now, he'd cooked it for you before and he should be confident in it but seemingly not enough yet to put the recipe down. The kitchen smelt amazing and you could feel your hunger cry out for whatever was simmering in the pot. Taehyung gently tapped the wooden spoon against the pot as he added another ingredient. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. That's where you'd left him hanging in your texts when exhaustion took over... "I just..." "Is it /that/ thing?" Taehyung asked, very much knowing of your source for distress already. "Kinda... but this time it feels different... I’m not nervous or eager, I just felt like I was waiting and waiting and what if I waited so long for nothing and I.... it doesn’t make sense but I just feel numb at this point and like I'm losing hope. Like every odd is set against me and I'm the only one dumb enough to still bet on myself." "And me. Except I'm not dumb, nor are you and I'll always bet on you. Always." Oh Taehyung... "Well, as your personal doctor and advisor and therapist and nurse, care-taker, comfort teddy and so on, I am going to prescribe you with some stuff." You chuckled. "Please go ahead." He placed a plate in front of you and another on the opposite end of the table. "Firstly, a good healing meal." "And you’ve already done everything in your power right now, you’ve been working hard. Maybetoohard." He mumbled under his breathe followed by a fake cough. "That said, let me distract you." "How?" "Well, some old school friends wanted to go out clubbing this weekend and-" "You don't like clubbing." "Hold on, let me get to the point. My suggestion is that you can come too, it won’t only be them. There will be the general club people too of course and I think most of them were bringing other friends or their girlfriends too so... it might be fun? If it sucks, we'll ditch and go to the midnight bowling place or noraebang, yes?" Maybe having some social interaction, an excuse to dress up and good music wasn't such a bad idea? The only thing bugging you was the potential mess there could be... and lately with your stressed mind you hadn't been the best at handling those environments, but after all this was just a club, with dancing people... it couldn't be that bad right? Bowling did sound fun too though... But you knew distraction and fun was what you probably needed. Maybe it wouldn't solve the issues but maybe it'd make it weigh less. The small distractions did a lot, a big one should do even more. "Sure." "Really?!" You could've sworn you just witnessed his ears wiggle from excitement. "I'll come." -- When Taehyung said "clubbing" you expected big flashy neon signs, a red rope and a guard and pulsing music coming from inside... not a giant base, a sax and a set-up of almost 4 different types of synthesizers. A jazz club. You should've known. The band was some sort of electro jazz fusion sprinkled with funk type band, as they introduced themselves as and they weren't bad, not at all. In fact this was a lot cozier than an uncomfortable packed nightclub. You just wish Taehyung told you so you could've worn your comfy flowy favorite dress rather than your tight little black one, wanting to fit in with the scene... Taehyung was dressed in black slacks, a green sweater and a brown coat that was hung over his chair, paired with his trademark assortment of bracelets on his wrist. Including the one you gave him for his birthday two years ago. He never took it off since the day he got it. It made you smile seeing it on his wrist. Taehyung's old school friends, the few you had managed to great during the evening were all really nice and most of them had their arm either around another or a hand held by another. You couldn't help but feel a little awkward, the questioning looks that didn't need to be vocal for you to understand. "Is this your girlfriend?" Taehyung just smiled, maybe playing it off was best... or did he just not notice the silent question? At first you expected a shrug or something but nope... "Would you like something more to drink?" Taehyung asked, leaning in so you'd hear him over the music and pointing towards your nearly empty glass. "I think I'm alright." "What?" "I'm ok." You leaned in closer. "Do you want to dance?" You and Taehyung were seated alone at one of the many tables as the majority were occupied dancing to the beats of the band and the rest drinking at other tables or mingling around. You had been up there at least twice, maybe even three times dancing the best you could and Taehyung always being by your side but your brain was starting to get a little drowsy. "I think I'm going to call it a night. But you can stay if you want." "No no, if you want to go home I'll come with you, let me walk you home." "I'll take a taxi its ok" "I insist." "So do I" the few drink he had had were enough to make his words braver and bolder. "It's late, I don't want you to go back alone regardless of if you take a taxi. I'll walk you." Fine. "Ok" Taehyung swept the remainder of his wine  and grabbed his coat and waved some quick goodbyes. It was cold outside. Dark and empty... maybe it was good Taehyung insisted after all. He stumbled slightly, alarming you. Your hands instinctively reached for him and he giggled. "You only had two glasses I doubt you're drunk right now." "Maybe I wiwwle tipdie" he giggled, clearly  acting up. "Does wiwwle tipdie Taehyung need help? Should I carry you on my back?" "No! I should be carrying you, do you have a blister on your heal from your shoes? Sore feet? Sore legs? Anything I can use as an excuse?" You laughed, patting him gently on the back. A cold breeze travelled through the street and you pulled your jacket tighter around you. "You're cold?" Taehyung asked "A little... my choice of dress wasn't the best." "I think you look beautiful." The sudden compliment caught you off guard. "... thanks." "Thanks? For what?" "The compliment" "I'm simply stating the facts." He said, looking to the side and slipping his hands into his pockets. "It sure is cold..." Why was it feeling awkward suddenly? Silence between the two of you would usually be comfortable... "Thanks for bringing me too." "Did you have fun?" He turned to face you again. "Yes, it was better than I expected." "I'm glad to hear that." "But let’s go bowling next time." "Sure!" He smiled widely. A source of warmth suddenly surrounded you and you looked up to see Taehyung's face turned away yet again but his arm resting around your shoulder, wrapping his coat around you and urging you closer into his side till your hips almost brushed against each other. The rest of the walk back home was a few minutes of silence, but luckily you didn't live far. "Home sweet home" "How will you get home?" You asked, concerned. "Ah..." he checked the time on his phone. "Well I've missed the last train... so unless I can find a taxi which so far I've seen none I'll have to sleep at the station." "No you're not, come, you can call a taxi from my place and at least wait inside instead of out in the cold." You said, grabbing his arm and pulling him with you through the entrance. "Nobody's picking up?" You asked Taehyung looked down at his phone with a confused look. "It keeps hanging up on me? I don't know if maybe their line is down or something?" "It would explain why we didn't see any on the walk back." "I guess so... so now what?" He looked up at you. "Guess you'll have to stay the night." He grinned. "Can't remember the last time we had a sleep-over" he chuckled and removed his coat. He was right, it must've been years ago... the last time you could remember was a movie night gone sleep over during winter when it had snowed so no traffic was able to move at all. You grabbed a spare cover and a pillow and handed it to Taehyung, sleepiness already present in his eyes. "Hey." Taehyung said, laying out the pillow and cover on your sofa. "If I have a nightmare can I come lay next to you?" He grinned. "If you have to." He replied with a puppy gaze. "Good night TaeTae." His eyes widened and he looked down at the couch. "... Good night." -- The question was when would you wake to the sound of birds chirping instead of the aggressive rasp of the snow plow dragging across the street? It almost sounded like it was more ir less plowing the asphalt off the earth rather than the snow. More irritating was that it just added to your unsatisfying sleep and rough awakening streak. One good morning was all you asked for... You sat up, slid off the edge of the bed and slipped into your slippers that were neatly set up by its side. A scratch of the head and an adjusting pull of the bun on your head and you headed to you first destination; tea. With heavy steps you dragged yourself out of your room and were met by the surprise you had forgotten was left on your couch from last night, sprawled across the sofa... in only boxers. Oh god. The covers were halfway on the floor, only covering his legs, barely. It was cold too but should you just ignore him... no, you couldn't... but what if you woke him up? He was only in boxers and you were already trying your best not to look but your brain had already registered that they were black and Calvins... please no more information... thigh muscles NO! Chest, focus on the chest. He was breathing, he was alive. Inhale, exhale. You carefully made your way towards him. His chest was toned... the type perfect to rest your head on NO! Messy hair... It really didn't help that your best friend was as attractive as he was. You bent down and carefully picked up the cover, pulling it back up over his upper body. He must've been really cold, his nipples- NO. You shook your head furiously to get rid of the thought. You turned around 180 degrees and marched to the kitchen. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tae. TEA! You could hear the covers rustle as he shifted, followed by a soft groan. Oh no... Please no. Although... why was it so dangerous for him to see you in your own home, making tea. I don't know! But regardless it felt like an action movie stealth scene for the grand heist judging by your heart beat. The boiler was too loud, the accidental clink of the mug as you set it to the counter too, the rip of packaging of the tea bag, the wind whistling outside! Sweat? You were sweating, stress consuming you yet again over the moist pointless little thi- "Hey?" The tea cup smashed against the kitchen floor along with your gasp and you grabbed the door handle of the kitchen cupboard for support. Taehyung starred at you with wide startled eyes. Maybe your screech scared him as much as his sudden presence scared you. "Sorry." He chuckled, voice so deep and raspy you could practically feel his vocal chords vibrate. Your heart was pounding hard. Could he at least have been swaddled in the covers and not in his boxers right now... You diverted your eyes to the porcelain shards across the floor. "Wait wait wait!" Taehyung yelped, holding his hand out to stop you from moving. But it was too late. The dark kitchen along with your giddiness had of course resulted in the unfortunate miss step. You sighed, lifting your foot from the chard as you felt something wet trickle down your foot. Taehyung quickly reached to turn the lights on, the bright shine blinding both of you briefly and making the view of him even clearer. "Stay there." Taehyung ordered. Your kitchen was pretty small so there wasn't much space to move without risking another wrong step. A cup of tea and now all this. You slapped your arms to your sides in a deep pout. Making a new cup now just felt wrong but you craved a cup so bad and it was cold... the floor was cold, you were cold... and not to mention everything hanging in form of heavy weights on your shoulders and chilling on top of the imaginary storm cloud above you right now. It's like your issues were mocking you and just making everything worse. Maybe the issue was that you related to the once-was intact mug. You felt split and unorganized, all over the place and dependent on things you knew you shouldn’t be depending your hope and happiness on but yet day after day you’d lose yourself in a visualization of a scenario of perfection were everything would be ok until again the door was slammed in your face and you had to start all over again. No matter how many times you felt like this time would be different and this time you were ready, this time it'd all go your way because the past was forgiven and your time wasn’t right but again and again .... Your patience was running out. You sniffed, wiping the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. Taehyung came back holding a broom and a dust pan when he saw your face of tears. "No..." he sounded panicked. He leaned down quickly sweeping the chards to the side of the kitchen and tossing the broom and pan into the pile so he could approach you. Strong lean arms embarrassed you like out of a 6 different angles k-drama scene. A hand found its place on the back of your head, softly petting you as the other pressed you closer to his warm chest. Never had you expected  that hugging Taehyung would feel this safe. May it be because he was the one you could be truly vulnerable with or that he was the one that knew what was going on right now, but whatever he did... he did it just right. "You don't need to say anything." He whispered. "I know." He squeezed you a little firmer. "I know." He reassured. "Sssh" his hand felt so gentle as it caressed you. "It's going to be ok." He felt so warm. "I'm here." His skin felt so soft against your hands. "I'm not going anywhere." Your heart calmed down. Taehyung didn't pull away until you became silent and your breathing stable. But even then he didn't pull away completely, only enough to look at your face and caress his thumbs under each eye gently. "I'll reheat the water for you." He smiled softly and reached for the switch on the kettle. You didn't want to let go, not just yet. But he slipped away carefully and kneeled to sweep up the shards and discarded the pieces into the bin. He briefly disappeared and came back holding his sweater, arms slipped in and pulling it over his head as he entered, causing his shoulders to naturally flex slightly as he slipped it on. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, added a bag in each and filled them with the hot water. You tugged and fidgeted at your sleeve as you watched, feeling unusually shy in his presence. "Come, let’s sit on the sofa" Taehyung said and grabbed a mug in each hand but quickly came to a halt. "Your foot!" You had forgotten about it too. He placed the mugs back down and watched you as you lifted to check the cut. "Fuck." Taehyung said and quickly ripped a piece of kitchen towel off and handed it to you. Holding one hand against the fridge for support and the other wiping the smeared mess on your foot you watched as Taehyung quickly disappeared and reappeared again with your med kit. "Does it hurt?" He asked, rummaging through the kit. "No, it just stings a little." He pulled out some disinfectant solution and eyes you quickly up and down. Before you knew it he was stood in front of you, kneeling slightly as you felt his large hand grab a hold behind your thigh and his arm scooped you up on him. Your heart was back to its rapid pace again. He set you down on the sofa carefully and went back to grab the disinfectant and the tea mugs. He sat on the floor in front of you, soaking a cotton pad with the solution and gentle pulling your foot towards him by the ankle. "Ah, thanks goodness it doesn't seem to be deep." He said with relief, gently dabbing the cotton pad to the wound. It stung a little but it wasn't too bad. "All nice and clean, do you have cute band-aids?" "Only boring plain ones I'm afraid." Taehyung scrunched his nose. "Boo." With a band-aid beneath your foot and your longed for tea in your hands you sat next to him on the sofa. "An eventful morning." "I should become your fulltime caretaker at this point." Taehyung joked. "Not that I'd mind." "Will you pay me?" He raised his brows as well as the mug to his lips. "No way." You smiled. "Charity work is good for karma." "I already have good karma!" Taehyung protested, pretending to be offended. He laughed that trademark warm laugh that was like a smooth cackle that somehow always triggered a little firework to go off in your chest. You smiled, looking into your mug as if it'd tell you a fortune. ... you swallowed and looked up. In winter the sun rose late and had begun its voyage above the horizon, painting the sky a bright warm orange tone as it shined in through the window behind Taehyung. No. You didn't have feelings for him. You just felt some post-event shakiness and nerves and for the matter of a fact you finally got your much needed cry. It must just be your chest feeling lighter thanks to the cry. "So, do you have any planes today?" Taehyung asked. "I don't even know what day it is." "Good, I don't have plans either and it's Saturday for your information. But I do have a potential plan and that is, since I'm already here, to spend the day with you unless you have important to do's, which you shouldn't, because you need a break." He whispered towards the end. "A fmnn break." He repeated, biting his lip on the word to censor himself, but he got his point across. "A break would be nice... but when I try, I feel distressed as if I shouldn't be doing it because I'm wasting my time. I need-" "A distraction" Taehyung filled in. You nodded. "Then thou shall sit here and watch my live-in-action cooking show live from your kitchen." He said cheerfully, slapping his hands to his thighs as he stood up. "Do you have strawberries?" He asked. "In the freezer." "Yes!" He made his way to the kitchen, worth to mention is the open floor plan of your apartment so you could see him well enough from where you were seated. The soft messy curls on his head bounced with him as he walked. He dramatically pointed at you with a spatula in his hand. "Welcome." He said, speaking deeply into the spatula. "The pancake and strawberry smoothie extravaganza extraordinaire show with your host." He point his thumb and index under his chin. "Kim Taehyung." His goofiness never failed to bring a smile to your face. He went to grab his phone on the sofa table. "I need background music...." he hummed as he scrolled, spatula still in his other hand. "Jeopardy music 10 hours?" He looked up at you for an opinion. "Please no." He giggled and a calm upbeat song started playing from him phone as he put it back down and resorted to the kitchen. While frying up the first batch he was spaced out, humming on the theme tune to jeopardy anyway. You had made yourself comfortable on the sofa, lying down. The sofa smelt like him now. The same sweet comforting scent as the hug had... and his coat the numerous times he'd wrapped it around you when it was cold or shielded you from the rain with it. But speaking of memory, thinking back at those often occurring times you were also reminded about how a previous "friend" used to try and provoke you into being nervous and shy in Taehyung's presence. You'd been close for years and maybe she had an issue with that or something but she'd always find ways to tease you in way. Claiming Taehyung was giving you "looks" or "checking you out" in ways she as a self-declared expert in men deemed were of more than friendly nature. And since she as expert of men by that likely thought all men were the same, proves how reliable of a source she was. Taehyung he just.... you were close. She just wanted to make you feel embarrassed and self-conscious and make it awkward between you. You hated thinking about that. It made you overthink and feel awkward. Like an evil loop. You looked up at the breakfast chef, catching his eye as he quickly looked back down to the pancakes. You could get used to this view. Handsome man in boxers and sweater making you pancakes when you’re feeling blue, the headline in your head spelled out. The Zen experience of the kitchen fan being turned off brought stillness and Taehyung emerges with a plate of pancakes, disappearing and re-appearing again after denying your offer to help with the strawberry smoothies, plates, forks, knifes and every suitable pancake topping he had been able to locate in your kitchen. And a tube of mustard as a joke that you only kept in your fridge for when your dad came over to dinner and his weird obsession with having mustard on everything. It was probably even expired. "Enjoy your meal." "You're my hero Taehyung." You said, stabbing a pancake. "I can be your hero baby." You froze. "What?" "Haven't you heard that song?" He smiled. Oh.. "Hero? By Enrique Iglesias?" "Ah, now that you mention it-" "With the weird music video were goes on this road trip with the girl and then he's suddenly rubbing money over her body in this random stone house." "Is this what you binge on youtube at 2am when I wake up to 15 links and emotional texts." "Do not judge me!" You giggled. "I'm not, I like waking up to those texts from you. You sent them to me for a reason." Taehyung smiled shyly. "Yeah... anyhow! I have a suggestion, a proposal, a-" "Go on" "Since I'm your hero, but even I weren't. I thought maybe I could stay here a few days? Only if you want me to, of course. I just-" he became shyer. "I like to think that you seem to feel better when I'm around and you're going through a rough time so I'd like to be there for you, like you are for me." Your heart made its presence in your chest known yet again. "You should think.... because it's true." "So?" "It'd be nice." He smiled widely. "Great! But I do need to go home and pack some clothes and... some pajamas and Yeontan! He is a great comforter trust me, he has cheered me up many times when I've cried." "Cried? What were you crying about?" "Oh- uhm it's nothing, it's ok now so." He swatted it away. "Boys cry too." He joked, but it tasted weird. "But he's staying with my parents this weekend, but if you want I can go pick him up." He suggested. "It's ok, he needs time with his grandparent." Taehyung chuckled. "Well they love their grandson so I'm sure they wouldn't mind having him stay an extra day or two." -- You couldn't help but feel bad that Taehyung had to sleep on the sofa... His bag with clothes and necessities was placed in the hallway and the covers neatly hung over the backrest. "We could take turns and sleep in the bed every other day." "I told you it was fine." Taehyung insisted, again. "I just feel bad..." "Then let’s both sleep in your bed and call it even." "...." your cheeks felt hot. "See, so I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't worry about it!" What does he mean "see"? ... you were simply imagining what excuse to use as to how your head would coincidentally end up on his chest instead of your pillow. "Or we'll both sleep on the sofa, but it might be a bit cramped." He continued. "Maybe this was a bad idea..." "Hey no! No, I'm just joking. Don't feel bad ok." Taehyung's hands smoothed down your arms. "Beds are better at healing wounds on the feet too." You exhaled deeply. "Oh TaeTae..." "Doesn't this feel like we're having a pajama party or sleep over?" He smiled. "Kinda, should we build a blanket fort and watch movies?" His mouth dropped open. "I'm just kidding!" You laughed He pouted. "Oh you want to?" A nod. "You want to build a fort and watch movies?" You asked with more excitement. More enthusiastic nodding. You both cracked up laughing on the sofa together. "I'm serious though." Taehyung grinned. -- You lied awake in your bed, eyes to the ceiling. For some wild reason you both thought it would be a great idea to binge through the entire twilight saga series as a source of comedy but you only made it up to half-way through eclipse when it became too much to handle for both of you. The first movie was easy to mock and laugh at and make fun out if but once it got more serious and romantic in new moon it started getting a little awkward. To say the least, feeling flustered from watching twilight but not due to the movie itself but from the presence of Taehyung right next to you in your make-shift sofa blanket fort. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And he was out there... on your sofa, right now. And who knew if he was in cute polka dot pajamas with his hair a mess on the pillow or his tight fitted boxers and his hair tied up.. You bit your lip, crossing your legs at the visual. You remembered the first time you witnessed Taehyung tie his hair up and how it felt like being punched in the gut. It's not possible to be that attractive. "Then aren't you attracted to him?" The voice echoed in your head. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you're attracted to them! Which is very much true. But Taehyung's personality was attractive too which was harder to justify the same way. And his person. And him. The entire package. You sighed. Maybe the stupidest thing you could do right now was reach for your phone and google "do I have feelings for my best friend?" Ah yes. A quiz. Maybe it wasn't so stupid after all, it'd say maybe you like him but you're not into him at the very most. Question 1, do you find them attractive. Well who wouldn't? And like mentioned it doesn't mean you're attracted to him. Yes. Question 2, do they like you? Pfft... what kind of question is that? How would you know? I don't know... or yes I guess? I mean he clearly likes you as a friend or he wouldn't be up to making all this effort for you but do they mean platonically? You ticked maybe. Question 3, Do you stalk them on social media? What the??? He's your best friend! The algorhythm shoves his posts in your face weather you like it or not. Sometimes. Question 4, Do you see them a lot? Yes. Question 5, Do you want to know more about them? You already know everything ... but what he cries about to Yeontan is something. Yes. Question 6, when you see them with somebody else who isn't considered their friend, how do you feel? Jealous. Question 7, when they're around you how do you feel? Nervous or self-conscious or nothing or i don’t know... well nervous AND a little self-conscious depending on the situation and if he's dressed or in just his boxers. Nervous. Question 8, Do you think about them? Yes. Always. Question 9, Do you laugh at their jokes? Another weird one but yes. Question 10, are they your ex? Huh? No. Definitely. A lot. You placed your phone screen down on your chest and let out a sigh. Maybe visualizing a kiss or two while in the shower was a crime after all... or was the question why were you in the first place? He was amazing in every type of way and you wanted to know if he was amazing at kissing too andmaybeinbed but you can't just ask him that or try it out, so you had to resort to imagination.... Who were you even trying to convince at this point? You liked him. Definitely. And a lot. The realization did nothing to help you fall asleep unfortunately. Another 15 minutes in dark silence passed when you suddenly heard the floorboards squeak. Maybe Taehyung was going to the bathroom or grabbing a glass of water... But the soft pats of his feet should've stopped by now... Your half open door pushed open a bit more shyly and Taehyung peaked in. Dressed in pajama bottoms, but no shirt. "You're awake." He said, whispering. "So are you." "I can't sleep..." he rubbed his arm. "I feel lonely." As if you'd deny him looking all shy and vulnerable in your door. You scooted to the side in your bed, making raise his brows in hope and anticipation, fingers fidgeting. "Come." You said, patting the bed next to you. The bed dipped gently as he lied down and you put the covers over him. He shifted onto his side, placing his head on your pillow. This was better. But since you just took an online quiz to realize you had feelings for this man currently shirtless in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly awkward. "How come you're feeling lonely?" You asked, trying to conceal your stiffness "To a start I sleep better when I get to hold something." He said shyly "Who?" You asked, intending for it to be a thought. "When I'm at home, Yeontan." Of course... "He lays on the bed and I feel less lonely and hearing him walk around or do something makes me feel soothed knowing I'm not alone... for the most part." "Are the tears you cry... tears of loneliness?" You could tell it triggered something in him. He bit his lip and nodded gently, eyes glossy. "For the most part it's just me and a pillow." He confessed. "But you could say-... it's something like that, yes." Face to face, mere inches apart. You thanked the darkness of the room that he couldn't see you blush right now but unreasonable fear that he'd somehow "sense" it in the atmosphere still worried you. You shouldn't have taken that stupid quiz it only made you start overthinking and it was probably rigged and the questions were weird so why should you listen to it? Get back to your senses! He's your best friend and you're comfortable with him! Calm down! "... I know it's dumb" Taehyung mumbled. "I know it seems like I'm this easy-going social butterfly with lots of friends who can find someone to hang out with within seconds... but when I'm alone at home, I just feel so empty. Like if nobody sees me, I don't exist. Thus when I'm alone, I'm not real anymore." "That's very philosophical, but what if someone thinks about you while you are alone? Then wouldn't you exist since somebody has you on their mind?" "But it'd be impossible for me to know and people have better things to do than walk around and daydream about me." It stung a little inside hearing him say this. "People are actually capable of multitasking you see, they can do these better things you speak of and think about you at the same time. I think about you a lot, sometimes I think about you while doing the laundry, riding the bus or taking a show- that sound's wrong." Taehyung chuckled. "But you get what I mean." "What do you mean?" He asked "That I think about you and that you aren't alone TaeTae, you never are. If you're ever feeling lonely, maybe think about me. If that helps. Or get to know yourself more, become your own friend or create an imaginary friend!" "I already do that." "Have an imaginary friend?" "Think about you." Oh. "... does it help?" You asked shyly. He shook his head. "It just makes me miss you and want to come to see you." Is it possible to experience a softer heart attack than you just did? Rather than a heart exploding in saw gore-level mess it gently poofed and became a small cloud of red feathers gently falling to the ground. Since when had you become a softie? Two hours ago you were all if there's no sex in the romance novel, it's not worth my time but now you suddenly felt an urge to ransack the romance section of the nearest library to read every cheesy romance story you could find until you could find one similar to your own. Your... own? What? With... with Taehyung? ... not that you’d visualize every male lead character as coincidentally similar to him regardless of how their looks were described in the book.... "Maybe I do need to spend some time with myself to get over it..." No! Stay here with me! "I can spend more time with you." Taehyung looked up. "I think that could benefit us both." He sounded more hopeful now. "Well, you're already here so it's also convenient." Despite the darkness you could make out the smile on his face that appeared. Cute. But wait... did Taehyung suggest he could stay here for you, because he felt lonely? He shifted slightly and the sheets rustled. His leg accidently brushed against yours and your first thought was to tangle your legs with his in a leg tackle war... but you still felt too on edge to act casual and playful with him like you normally could. You swallowed. "How long have you felt this way?" "A while... a long while. At first it was nothing but then it got worse and even more worse when I realized this one thing." "What thing was that if I may ask?" He sighed. "It's hard to explain... but, say a friend." "Mhm?" "A friend feels kinda lost, existentialism and stuff going on, doesn't like to be by himself, then he finds this person and they make him forget it all but once they’re apart it all returns to him again like they were his escape but only for as long as they were together." "Is that only with that one person or all?" "No no, only that person. And then he realizes he might be in love, or he's addicted to the person in a way, but in a good way not an obsessive way just-" "In love?" "Something like that." "You're in love?" "Huh?! What no! This was about a friend! I'm not talking about me!" "Then what did you realize Taehyung?" You could tell his mind briefly blanked in panic. "I realized that maybe I, as said friend need to find that person for me." "A person?" He nodded shyly. "You want to fall in love?" "I don't know... something like that." 'Something like that' seemed to be his catchphrase this evening. But in love? A person? His person?... that couldn't be you... could it? Did he want you to be his person? Were you his person?? The questions and confusion kept spiraling through your head, (finally) making you feel tired and exhausted. "I think... I just want to tend to someone else than myself, to not have to think so much about it and instead take care of somebody else." "Is that why you offered to stay?" "Yes and no, I want to take care of you because I am genuinely concerned and worried about you, I want to be there for you. But also, sleeping on the couch last night, hearing you tiptoe around the kitchen... it made me feel comforted." His voice sounded drowsy. "If you want... I can be your person in this scenario." You suggested. "You've already become.. person." He mumbled, sinking deeper into his half-awake state. -- You stretched your leg out one at the time, twisting your body gently and inhaling deeply into a stretch, gently batting your eyes open. You pushed a palm against the bed to get up into a seated position when something suddenly restrained you, heavy over your abdomen. Surprised, you raised the sheet to see the reminder of what you had forgotten last night. Over your waist, a lean arm with faint thin dark hairs and a few subtle veins travelling up the forearm from the large hand clung to the side of your waist... all attached to the source of warmth to your left, Taehyung. His dark locks a mess on the pillow, his bare upper body now fully on display in the daylight and his polka dot pajama pants haven travelled down a bit too far low for your sanity... Cursed be the eyes in your skull for travelling down the view. You would've noticed it sooner or later regardless, especially since your thigh was  a hair between touching it. It, being the weird relief of knowing he got some deep relaxing sleep in... but with an awkward morning surprise... and his arm wouldn't grant you freedom without you accidentally or intentionally having to wake him up. You carefully shifted to at least have your thighs at a safer distance, but your bed wasn't intended for two people, so it was easier said than done. His grip suddenly tightened and a low groan escaped him as he shifted. Why did you feel fear as if you shouldn’t be present in your bed in which he entered himself. If anyone Taehyung should be the one fearing his life right now. His thumb caressed your side gently and it felt nice... soothing. Until his eyes suddenly opened wide with a soft gasp as you felt his morning hard on grace against your thigh. Eyes that pleaded and begged you didn't notice pierced into yours and you decided to play along. "Did you sleep well?" His hand quickly retreated to your disappointment. "Sorry i... I did it in my sleep it wasn't-" "It's ok, you said you sleep well holding something and being held didn't feel too bad..." "Well, in that case, I actually slept better than I have in a really long time." He said, voice raspy and deep still. He rolled onto his back, thankfully, and placed his hand behind his head. "Did you?" "Huh?" "Did you sleep well?" "In fact, I did." You said, answering truthfully and resisting the urge to put your head on his bare chest. If only the lord or whoever would stop testing me... "Hungry?" He asked. You nodded. "Great, I'll fix something ok, but close your eyes." "Why?" "I'm shirtless." ... right. You covered your eyes with your hands and the warmth left your side as he got up and escaped the room. You slowly got up, trying to win some time for him but a few brief seconds later heard the sound of the bathroom door down the hall closing and locking. Yikes. That went smoother than expected. You set up some tea, knowing Taehyung described coffee as the closest to unlethal poison you could find, you knew he'd prefer tea or hot chocolate and that there was no use to ask. You knew him too well. It was nice having him here. And waking up with a strong arm around your waist wasn't too bad either... if only you could've let yourself enjoy the moment instead of freaking out, what if he grew cautious now and you'd never experience it again? You sighed softly, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. After a while, the kettle clicked and you poured some water into each mug. It had been a while now... ... was he meditating in there? There was no sound of the shower, or anything, not that you were listening. Would it be weird if you asked if he was ok? Since the kettle was off the entire apartment became significantly more silent. You heard a faint mumble. "Fuck..." You swallowed. Ear please momentarily turn off, mind and imagination too please. You reached to put the kettle back on but since the water was already hot it clicked off again after 5 seconds. The bathroom door opened and you braced yourself to not look down. Luckily, he was now wearing his oversized sweater or else you would've failed immediately. He let out a soft chuckle. "I spaced out." His cheeks were flushed red and glowing. Right. "I made you some tea." -- Why were deep topics always easier to talk about at night? Were people like clams? You wake up and it opens a little and once we hit the night the clam is fully open and then closes during sleep to a new no-talk-me-I-not-have-tea-yet to ask-me-about-how-i-view-existentialism cycle? Or were nights just vulnerable with the darkness? In that case you should metaphorically speaking be an open clam all day during winter when the sun goes into its own hibernation. But here you were again, just like last night, except... 20 minutes into the sudden power outage that made your impromptu movie night come to a halt. And it was getting really cold. Bundled up under a cover together, staring at the flicker of the candle on the coffee table in silence. "I was going to offer to make you tea to warm you up but the kettle..." Taehyung said with a soft chuckle. "The power will probably come back any moment soon." He said optimistically. As you looked out of the window earlier, you noticed it wasn't just your place, but the entire block seemed to have an outage. Unusual. But the current roaring rain storm outside likely had something to do with it. The wind was aggressive, the windows shook, it whistled in a creepy way and the trees outside rustled loudly. "How about we play a game?" Taehyung suddenly suggested, breaking off the silence again. He was feeling awkward, you could tell. He always rested his hands in his lap, fidgeting or poking at the cuticles of his nails when he felt awkward. "Sure, what should we play?" His face lit up. "Questions and answers? I can start!" "Shoot!" You folded your legs and shifted to face him on the couch. "What's your ideal type." ... he... immediately went there. "Looks or personality?" Taehyung shrugged. "Both." "Well it depends on the vibe they give off of course... and mainly. I guess tall, but it's not that important, wide shoulders are always nice." You paused to think, how can I describe Taehyung without it sounding like I'm describing Taehyung. "Funny, caring, optimistic, outgoing..." "Like me!" He smiled widely. You leaned back, squinting while caressing your chin, examining him playfully. "Hmmmn" He placed his hands under his jaw, like he was displaying his face and batted his eyelashes. "Not bad, not bad." He looked disappointed. "Just not bad?" You playfully nudged his arm. "It's your turn to answer. "Fine." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest but cracking a giggle. "I'll ask you the same question." "Very original, you." "It's called recycling, so tell me." "I did." "Huh?" "You." Your heart froze briefly before beginning to pound. "Me?" "Mn!" He said confidently. "You're not bad" he mocked. You swallowed. "I have a question about the rules." "Go on" "If I ask you anything, do you have to tell the truth?" "Yes! Nothing but. So you better tell me what you actually think rather than 'not bad'" "Is the friend you talked about actually you? And am I the person?" He tensed up, swallowing. "I guess it was obvious..." he mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking down at his lap. "I just..." he began, but reluctance interrupted him. "I understand." You said. He looked up, seemingly surprised yet still tensed "I make you feel less lonely." He nodded slowly. "Which makes sense. After all we're best friends." You continued. "... right." He looked away. "Best friends." Taehyung reached up to move his hair away from his eyes, still facing down as if he was considering something. "So... what do you think of me?" His voice sounded more serious. Where to start of course he was gorgeous! Wide shoulders, a build you'd die to slide your hands down, dark big eyes, a sweet smile with plump lips, sculpted perfectly and his honey skin. Person wise... he was someone you'd want to have as your person. "A nice person" He scoffed. "Seriously?" He seemed upset. He finally looked up, meeting your gaze. There was a sparkle in his eye. The warm light from the candle made his face glow even more. "I mean person as in the person you have, a your-person" "A nice your-person?" He tilted his head. "You told me yesterday in bed that you can feel like someone is your person because they bring you comfort and make all your problems go away and you feel better just by being in their presence! A nice that-type-of-person." "But I was talking about you!" He pleaded "And now I'm talking about you." "You are my person, what do you mean?" He asked, placing emphasis on "my" "That you're my person too. Am I being unclear?" "No, not at all. I just wanted to hear you say it." "So you tricked me?" You scoffed. "Not really." He leaned closer. "But maybe I set you up and you simply walked into my trap." "So now what? We're just going to sit here in denial over the fact that we both admitted to being each other's person?" You questioned, feeling slightly panicky and picking at your nails. Was this platonic or not? "We don't have to" he grinned. "But to be clear, I'm not talking about you being my person as in my other half, my best friend type person, even though you are that too bit this isn't it." "Are you trying to tell me that you're in love with me?" He tensed up again. Fuck it. "Then just say it, stop confusing me with your riddles and metaphors and I won't do the same. Just tell me-" His hand pressed against the back of your head as he leaned in almost all the way. He caressed the back of your head gently and your gaze dropped to his soft pink lips with the tiny freckle to the side. You leaned in close enough to brush a gentle touch before Taehyung pressed you closer for your lips to finally collide. It started off desperate yet a little shy. You pressed back, grabbing at his sides and the kiss deepened. Your heart was pounding. Never did you expect he'd just go for it and kiss you when you showed some bold courage towards him but you didn’t have a slightest regret because he tasted so good against your mouth. His plump pink lips so passionate, so needy but also so gentle and triggering an explosion in your chest. Taehyung leaned over you, making you lay down on the couch as he crawled on top and it turned into an even wilder heated make out. Your hand tangled into his hair, his hand rubbed against the side of your waist under your top. Fearing it'd be the first, last and only, you wanted every single piece of this moment you could have. Unintentional, his touch triggered a soft moan to escape your throat, which subsequently triggered a groan from Taehyung. Making a sound like that with his voice should be illegal. It did things to you, things you didn't want to confess. But the box of secret confessions was torn open within seconds as Taehyung, a heavy breathing mess suddenly pulled away from your lips and landed by your ear, exhaling deeply. "Fuck, I'm hard." He groaned and you knew the box was flying out the windows with your filthy confession floating aimlessly around for him to hear but all you managed to stutter out was a choked "huh?" "If you knew how long I've wanted you for." He whispered. "How scared I've been of being rejected because I knew it'd shatter me." The hopeless romantic you knew he was made his attendance known. "A friend?" You chuckled. "Maybe I set myself up with that one, I admit. But I was hoping you'd catch on." He chuckled, still breathless. He planted a kiss against your neck. Were you about to have sex? Would it lead to that? Did you mind? Certainly not... Taehyung pushed up slightly, looking down at you. "May I?" You nodded and he smiled widely, pressing a kiss to your lips. Shifting, he easily found his place between your thighs and grinded up against you slowly with pressure, causing both of you to exhale into a sweet needy moan. Your feelings felt scattered all over the place but this wasn't the time to pick them up. You wanted to let go, to surrender, just for this moment. Let go of everything clawing at your back, clouding the sunny skies and draining you. There is nothing more exhausting than smiling pretending everything is ok while whatever inflated issue in beast form is clawing its nails across your back and the scars sting like lemon juice was just rubbed all over you, feeling disgusting and sticky, let alone in pain and with a sore back from the held tension. He grinded again, sensually this time as the tip of his nose travelled up your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. "Mmm" he hummed softly. Your hand made its way to his nape as he settled by your neck. "I could fall asleep here." He chuckled. "Right here in your neck, it's so warm and smells so nice. It's more effective than lavender." "Are you enchanted by my odor?" He laughed his trademark bubble laugh. "I wish you knew how much fun you are." He squeezed you, rubbing up firmer to you with a desperate grunt. "Fuck I can't take it anymore." He stood on his knees, crossing his arms in front of him and grabbing the hem of his sweater, pulling it up and off, exposing his soft skin and toned chest as it fell to the floor. His hand reached for the button on his pants but before making it to the zipper his attention returned back to you with his hands sliding up under your top and pulling it up over your head. "I just want to make sure again... is it ok?" He asked, eyes big. "Yes, touch me, kiss me, do whatever you want just don’t leave the couch. At least not without me." He smirked at this, finally able to surrender to his greed. Taehyung reached for the waistline of your pants, unbuttoning, unzipping and pulling them down your hips with your underwear going off with them. His fingers softly rakes over your skin as he travelled down your legs, your hips lifted to assist him and then they were tossed onto the floor. He reached for his own zipper again but you sat up, quickly swatting his hand away and reaching for it yourself. He was on his knees between your thighs. You pulled them down, sliding your hands over his soft curved hips, revealing his tight fitted boxers with little to any space left for his hard on. You swallowed. He blushed. Relieved that Taehyung took over the lead again you lied back down as his hands gently pushed you back, slipping the bra straps off your shoulders and reaching behind you to unhook and free you from your final piece of clothing. But with this one he wasn't in a rush. He slowly tugged at the lacey fabric, revealing your chest to him as he bit his lip. "Wow." He mumbled and his patience was gone. One hand grabbed your left boob, feeling it and squeezing it softly as the other slipped into his boxer to touch himself. He whimpered, seemingly trembling as a result of his desperation and the discomfort he must be feeling in those tight pair of... he let go of your boob, quickly pulling his boxers down and himself out. You felt your core twist and ache and his boxers joined the pile of clothes on the floor. Taehyung fell forward onto all fours on top of you. Fully exposed, fully erect and a full sight to take in in the dim light in the dark. Distracted and eyes travelling all over him, his hand suddenly cupped your chin, tilting it up for you to face him. His nose graced over yours in a sweet eskimo kiss before his lips, just as gently pressed to yours. Taehyung's hand slid down your neck, your chest and down until he found himself. Your toes curled as you felt his touch where you wanted him the most in this moment, the tip of him slowly sliding up and down your slit, triggering your need even more. Taehyung let out a shaky exhale. His lips were parted and eyes staring right down at your exposed curves. He positioned himself, slowly sliding the tip in, just to feel... just to get some urgent relief... he leaned his head back and his hands landed a tight grip of your waist. He couldn't take it anymore. Slowly and carefully he began to push. Making sure by studying your every expression that he wasn't hurting you and that it felt good. A sweet whimper escaped you, causing him to grin in delight as he pushed in deeper. He was thick... the gentle stretch he caused felt amazing and you couldn't stop yourself from clenching around him, making him moan and managing to make you even wetter just by the sound. With a soft grunt he slipped in all the way. Giving you a moment to adjust to his size, he moved his hand up to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. His touch felt like magic. Like a gentle feather smoothing over your cheek, but slender and strong, with long dainty beautiful fingers. You leaned into his touch. "Does it feel ok?" He whispered. You gave a reassuring nod. He pulled his hips back and thrusted back in, not too soft and not too hard he picked up a slow but deep rhythm for his movements. Your hands felt their way up and across his back, studying every curve and where he naturally flexed as he moved. His hands were firmly holding you in place at the waist, every desperate exhale and every shaky inhale sending almost an ASMR like tingle down your spine via your ear until your name suddenly slipped his lips. Most people feel a fuzzy like feeling inside hearing their proper name be called but this... this was unlike no other time. His deep voice, following a whimper, exhaling your name like a magic spell and it fading into a shiver-causing moan. To put it simply it was the sexiest thing you've ever heard and it activated a whole new part within you that felt foreign but so so so good. Like your blood had suddenly turned into liquid gold, all happy hormones releasing in a firework spelling the world "nothing else matters" in an imaginary sky. You wrapped your arms tighter around him, moaning his name out felt liberating. And it clearly triggered an equal reaction. His cheeks were already flushed and his eyes went wide. He smirked, growing more desperate, fucking your harder and deeper, chasing release. "Please cum for me." He whispered, pleading. "Please." He didn't need to place a formal request, you were already loosing yourself. The only sound echoing in the darkness being the roaring wind and rain along with your breaths and groans and the sound of his hips and your thighs. Wet, heavenly sounds to you. His sweet moans, his broad back, his dick... everything about him made you feel euphoric. The ever building tension below, the sweat forming on his forehead... "I'm gonna cum" he whimpered. Thinking your body couldn't possibly react stronger to him than it already was, it did. The thrusts grew faster, grunts louder and you could feel yourself leak even more. Back arching, tension growing... it felt even tighter now... you could feel him so well, every movement until you suddenly came un-done with a loud whimper to his ear, setting him off into his own orgasm, cumming deep inside with a string of "oh"s and groans, gritting his teeth together and tensing his face in a greedy expression. He slowed down to a halt, remaining inside, breathless on top of you. The light on the sofa table had reached its end and the faint scent of smoke filled the air as the flame went out, making the room completely pitch black. Taehyung's face nuzzled softly against your neck, inhaling the scent of you deeply  and being soothed. "Wow." He coughed, followed by a groan. "Wow." You repeated, happy that the light went out so he couldn’t see your flushed face. "You ok?" He whispered, vulnerability present in his voice. "I didn't go to hard right?" "It was amazing." He let out a breath of release and an awkward chuckle. "I'll pull out.." he said shyly, moving his hips back slowly and gently, slipping out. To your surprise, Taehyung climbed off of you, standing on his feet. The cold air made your nipples ache and your skin shiver. You wanted your human blanket and source of heat back. But you didn’t have to wait for long. A pair of strong arms slid in under you, lifting you up with ease. "The sofa is too tiny." He carried you into your bedroom, gently putting you back down on the bed and laying down on his side next to you, pulling you close to his chest where his heart was still pounding hard. He hugged you tight, caressing the back of your head. His lips pressed against the crown of your head gently. "My good girl." He whispered, sounding almost proud. Your cheeks burned and a weird sense to cry bubbled up but you quickly swallowed it and hugged him tighter, burying your face against his chest. Never had you thought being called a good girl, specifically "Taehyung's" good girl would be able to move you to tears. But maybe it's what you needed to hear, mixed with the hormonal serotonin cocktail your body just released upon you. "You'll always have me." He nuzzled his nose in your hair. With a click the power came back on, including your pink hue nightstand lamp next to the bed. Taehyung's cheeks were deeply flushed, amplified by the flattering pink light cast over him. You giggled.   Had this really just happened? Because it felt so right. Or was it just the relief of sex? But masturbating had never made you feel this emotional before... You looked up at Taehyung's face again and he smiled softly, his hand caressing your bare back up and down. It was definitely him.

#taehyung #networkbangtan #bts #bts v #v #taehyung angst #bts angst #bts smut #taehyung smut #bangtan #bts fic #taehyung fic #tae #v smut #v angst #smut #angst #fic #kpop #kim taehyung #friends to lovers

[mauve-moon]

Do u have any hcs on DE specifically?

I do quite think about her a lot. It’s mostly focused on how she would change as the story progresses. Warning bc this got a bit long:

1. I hc that as time passes she becomes more and more detached from her past self. Like in the beginning, she has that whole “I’ve been reborn anew” thing going on, but she still recognises her past as WL and does attempt to keep it in mind as she moves forward with her plans and shapes her new goals. But years pass and she changes more and more, and her past lies forgotten, her goals change as well from when she first became DE, and on that note

2. Her goals. I think they would highly derail from what they used to be. Like, it started as vengeance against the witches, freeing earthbread from their rule, and maybe when that is over finally realise her old dream of making cookies less crumbly. But as the war continues, she gets freed from her prison and must go up against her old friends, they would change alongside her. The witches are dead (I assume she killed them, correct me if I’m wrong), but cookies aren’t so readily willing to let go of their old beliefs, so her goals shift to becoming the one ruler of earthbread, remould the world after her ideals, why make these cookies stronger when she can just make new ones? Better ones?

3. I also hc that with time she starts forgetting her old memories. She visits the ruins of the academy and the vanilla kingdom, her old home, and everything looks so familiar, and she knows she’s been here once upon a time, but she can’t remember no matter how hard she tries. PV talks about their secret garden when they’re in the lily greenhouse and under her facade, something in her heart twists. Their secret garden? They had a secret garden? And the way her gut twists tells her it used to be something important, but she can’t recall even just where it was located.

4. She’ll wake up some days and a whole chunk of her memories will be gone, and she shrugs it off and occupies herself the entire day bc she doesn’t want to admit it hurts to lose that part of her. She keeps forgetting, and eventually becomes numb to it, bc how can you mourn something you don’t know?

5. On the above note, she wakes up one day and can’t remember who she used to be. Her name, her appearance, her hopes and dreams, the bonds she used to have with other cookies, it’s like WL never existed, and that’s when the big changes start happening and she truly becomes DE. She holds a council with the cookies of darkness and it’s like they are meeting a whole new person. Pomegranade toasts for this new beggining and her master’s new resolve while Red Velvet frowns from the end of the table and wonders what happened to the woman who offered him a new arm and a second chance at life.

And these are just off the top of my head. I also think a lot about how she interacts with the other cookies, or I have my own little theory about WL getting baked again and how it might affect the ending.

A honorary mention that is a newer hc, is thanks to my beloved, that DE involuntarily slips into her old self when she’s drunk or fatigued.

I could be here all day long.

#cookie run #dark enchantress cookie #cookie run kingdom #my headcanons #ask me #my post #ildiko talks shit #my de hc are mostly sad #the nicer ones are the ones that include the kiddos or red velvet

[divinerulerluvr]

Let Me Violate You

Summary - in 1985 after taking some funny coke at a recording studio, she finds herself at the Cortez and meets Mr. James Patrick March only to meet her fate, as well

Warnings - smut (duh), bondage, coercion, murder, bondage, drugs, power kink, james is a dom per ush, idk its very dark dare i say

Words - 2.7k

Inspired by the song Closer by Nine Inch Nails ;)

- - -

The world was blurry as i stumbled into a random hotel in Downtown LA. I had been recording a new song at the studio just a few minutes away and the idiots i work with gave me some fucked up coke and now here i am, barely lucid and tripping out of my mind.

Leaning against the receptionist counter for support, i look up to the woman who reads a book. She peers at me over it, a certain look of disappointment in her eyes as she sets it down. “I-I would like a room,” i ask, blinking quickly.

“Fifteen dollars for the night,” she says flatly. I give her a twenty, too high to care about change. She smiles at me before standing up and grabbing a key from the wall and handing it to me. The key had a ‘64’ chain on it.

“Room sixty-four. Sixth floor,”

I nod before stumbling to the elevator, getting to the sixth floor, and walking through the halls until i got to room 64. Unlocking the door, i push it open and walk into the large suite. Going straight to the bed, i lay back on it with an exasperated sigh.

I am too high for this.

Staring at the ceiling that looks like it was twirling and twisting, i feel eyes on me. Sitting up, my eyes glance around the room. My eyes land on a man who stands at the end of the bed, a cigarette in his hand.

I jump, trying to confirm whether he was real or not with the state i was in. “W-Who are you?” i stutter nervously, my eyes wide with fear. The man smiles, drawing at his cigarette to build some sort of anticipation.

“I should be asking who are you? This is my suite,” he says in return, his voice coated with a thick 20’s accent. He was an attractive man. His dark hair was styled perfectly and in the dark of the room i could make out his sharp jawline and piercing eyes.

“I paid for this room,” i argue, confused to who this strange man is.

He grins a predatory and evil grin that made my stomach twist. “Would you like a drink?” he offers, ignoring the previous conflict. “I’d like you to get out of my room,” i bite back. He turns his back to me, pouring something into a glass.

Turning back to face me, he extends a glass of the drink to me. “No need to be so rude, darling,” he advises, his head tilted patronizingly. He takes a slow step towards me, his eyes dead on mine. Swallowing thickly, i accept the drink.

Suspiciously, i drink from the glass. The alcohol burned down my throat and the drugs already in me didn’t help. Finding it wasn’t poisoned, i chugged the rest of it down.

He sips from his own glass, his eyes never leaving mine. “Who are you?” i ask yet again. “James March,” he replies simply. I just nod, finding that i had this strange fuzzy feeling in my mouth.

I had already finished the drink he’d offered and it was too late to go back. I had jinxed the fact that it was drugged. Because i know what being drugged feels like.

Before i could do anything, i was out like a fucking light.

-

I woke up after god knows how long. I felt rope rubbing my wrists raw and rope that kept my feet tied to the bed. Panic fills me as i look around the room frantically. It was that James guy who fucking drugged me and fuck knows what he’s going to do to me.

I breathe out quietly, trying to calm myself as i pull at the ropes that keep my arms tied apart to either post of the bedframe. I was in a starfish position, rendering me completely helpless.

“You really should never take a drink from a stranger, my sweet Y/n,” i hear James’ voice say from beside me, startling me at his sudden appearance. “Fuck off. Let me go,” i complain, glaring up at him.

He chuckles, reaching his hand down and petting my hair. I recoil from his touch, my heart beating quicker than if i was on acid. He notices my reaction to his touch, a look of anger crossing his face right before he slaps me.

Not a playful smack, either. A real smack. It stung my cheek, a groan leaving my lips. He exhales sharply, his ominously black eyes glaring at me with disgust. “I think you forget who’s the one tied up and the one who did the tying,” he says, walking away from me.

I still fight against the ropes, my wrists burning like hell. I was lucky i was still clothed. But with this man, i wasn’t sure what he wanted from me.

“Why are you doing this?” i ask him, watching as he takes off his belt. My heart jumps, my thighs instinctually trying to push together but failing due to my position. He glances up at me as he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“You were just so beautiful, dear. I had to have you for myself,” he says with a charismatic smile. His white button-down sits loosely on his shoulders, exposing his toned chest and abs to me. “That’s fucking creepy,” i scoff, watching his every move with precision.

He shrugs. “I think it’s romantic. When i’m done, you’ll never leave the confines of this hotel again,” he counters.

“Yeah right,” i mumble to myself, moving around on the bed still trying to free myself from the bonds keeping me at his mercy. He glares at me. “You have a horrible habit of talking back,” he points out, running his hand up my bare leg and playing with the hem of my skirt.

I swallow thickly, a dull heartbeat growing between my legs as his soft touch trails further up my leg and under my skirt. His hand cold but his touch was warm. Bunching up my skirt, his eyes fall onto my black panties.

“Maybe i should do something about it, hm?”

Keeping quiet, my cheeks burn in embarrassment as his eyes rake over my bare legs. He walks away from me, retrieving something from a drawer and coming back to me with it in hand. He presents a ball gag and i feel my breathing pick up.

Placing the pink plastic ball of the gag in my mouth, James buckles the strap around my head and i could feel myself lose every last ounce of power i had.

He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a hand knife and placing it to the waistband of my skirt. In one fluid motion, he cuts it into two pieces and tears it off of me. He does the same to the top i wore, shredding it and discarding it carelessly.

His eyes fall on my now bare chest. I never wore bras. Softly, he runs his fingers over my breasts, enjoying how my skin breaks out into goosebumps at his feather-light touch. He runs his hand down my stomach, feeling how i pant with anticipation.

Cutting off my panties, i was completely exposed to him. He sees how wet i am, a proud smirk spreading on his lips. “I’ve barely even touched your pretty body yet, doll. And yet look at this,” he taunts, running his finger through my slick folds.

I whimper, my hips bucking back at the sensation of his touching me. He uses his free hand to hold down my hips, keeping me flat on the bed. “I thought you didn’t want this,” he teases, his eyes admiring my naked body.

Unable to speak, i just furrow my brows pathetically. He smiles, enjoying how mindless i look. He rubs slow and teasing circles over my clit, his touch gentle as he stimulates me.

Weak moans leave my lips but are ultimately silenced by the gag in my mouth. My legs tremble slightly as i occasionally jolt with pleasure. He was giving me the bare minimum but it felt so fucking good.

Spit falls from the corner of my mouth, my eyes watering with the pain of him only touching me lightly. I could see the bulge in his pants and i knew i was in for quite the night. Men like him didn’t like vanilla sex. I would know. I’m in a goddamn rock band and it’s the eighties.

His hand leaves between my legs and instead uses his already wet fingers to wipe the spit that had left my mouth. His dark eyes meet mine as he returns his hand to my pussy, this time pushing his middle finger into me.

I arch my back, my head pressed into the pillow i lay on as i feel his finger curl inside of me. Not caring, he pushes a second finger into me and starts an even rhythm of finger fucking me

My whimpers sound pathetic and tears fill my eyes. I beg internally for more pleasure. But i was unable to actually ask for it which i knew was his entire point. I was wetter than i’ve ever been before. His fingers were like heaven inside of me.

His palm every once in a while grazes my clit, making my body shudder from the brief stimulation. “Look at you. How pitiful you are,” he degrades, his eyes taking in the way my eyes water and how a squirm on the bed.

“Little girls like you need to be taught a lesson,” he clicks his tongue, his fingers slowing down from their rhythm before he pulls them out. I groan at the loss, my eyes locked on his. “They need to be put to good use, for once,”

I watch with doe eyes as he throws off his shirt and takes off his pants. He gets on top of me, staring at me like i was prey and he was a starving predator. “You look positively beautiful tied to my bed," he compliments, caressing my hot cheek.

“To be fair, it is also very beautiful to watch you squirm with pleasure, my pet,” he says with a grin, repositioning so he was kneeling between my legs. He runs his hand up my stomach, reaching my breasts and massaging them. Giving special attention to my sensitive nipples.

His clothed boner rubs against my sensitive pussy, making me want him even more. My hands pull against their restraints, causing the red marks on my wrist to hurt more. He sees this, noticing how raw my skin was. “You know better than that,” he tsks, trailing his hand down my body and running it along my leg.

I didn’t know how to convey to him that i wanted him to absolutely destroy me, so instead, i just push myself against him, grinding my hips against his clothed dick.

He smirks, pushing my hips flat against the bed to stop me. “Patience, my pet,” he warns, feeling every inch of my naked body with a tender and almost caring touch. My eyes fall shut in irritation, trying to just enjoy his teasing touches that continue to lead me on.

His hand runs up my thigh, following the curve of my body and stopping at my neck where he lightly wraps his hand around it. I whimper, knowing full well he could feel my pulse against his hand.

“Do you think you’ve earned the privilege of pleasure?” he questions, his eyes dark with lust. I nod rapidly, my pussy practically hurting due to the lack of stimulation. He smiles, tightening his grip on my neck so he’s squeezing the sides.

His hand leaves my neck and i watch as he pulls off his boxers. Getting excited, i let him pull me down to meet him, the ropes pulled tautly and rubbing on my ligature marks even more. The sting was damn near unbearable but the pain would soon be forgiven.

Without mercy, he pushes himself into me. I cry out, my pitiful cries muted by the gag. It hurt. Of course it did. I may have been wet, but his dick was too big to just pull that shit. My nails dig into my palms as he bottoms out in me, his tip pressed into my g-spot deliciously.

The tears in my eyes fall down my cheeks, causing black streaks to trace down my face in the trail of the tears. I pull my hips back a little, his dick hitting unmarked territory inside me. He places his hands on my hips, pulling them down even closer to him as a way to punish me.

The ropes were now extremely painful. He pulls his hips back and starts fucking me rough without warning and especially without care. The pain quickly blossomed into pleasure. His hands dig into the flesh of my hips as he holds me steady so he can use and abuse me.

His hair had fallen out of its pristine style. A curl falling in front of his face as his eyes took in my body as he destroyed it. Soft grunts and groans would leave his lips, his thrusting pace harsh and deep.

If there wasn’t a gag in my mouth, i’d be so fucking loud right now.

He uses one of his hands and slithers it up my body, dragging some of the spit on my face down my chin and neck. His eyes lock on mine, a sort of animalistic starvation in them. He felt so good that i thought i would cum right now.

I wanted to touch him. To run my hands down his back and pull his hair. But then again, i couldn’t. Because i was tied up. Powerless. I knew his game and i knew it well. But i also fucking love the game.

My walls contract around him and i can already predict his reaction. He clicks his tongue, slowing his hips just a bit as to pull me back from the edge of an orgasm. I groan, my eyes falling shut and my head laying back.

He reaches and grabs my neck, startling my eyes open. “I want you to watch me use you, darling,” he instructs. I have no choice but to obey. My eyes trail down his toned torso to where he fucks me roughly.

It was so hot. Watching him go in and out of me. My wetness coating my pussy and even his dick. How you could see how deep he was hitting inside me due to the way my stomach pushes out in sync with each snap of his hips.

My eyes water even more, making it hard to keep them open to watch the scene before me. “Be a good girl for me and listen to my instructions,” he comments, noticing how my blinks got longer with each close of my eyes.

I try my best, my eyes flicking up to meet his. His hand that was around my neck moves to my pussy, rubbing circles on my clit with his thumb. I shudder, my entire body writhing at the new sensation.

The pleasure got to the point where i couldn’t take it anymore.

I attempt to pull my hips back, my body overwhelmed with pleasure to the point where it is borderline painful. “Uh uh,” he hums, reaching his hand up and smacking my cheek hard enough to make the previous mark sting even more.

With a dull cry, i stop trying to resist and give up every last ounce of power i had left to him, letting my body go limp so he could have his way with me.

He uses this to his advantage, fucking me harder than before. My breasts bounce with each merciless thrust, my eyes rolled into the back of my head as the mix between his touch on my clit and how he fucks me brings me to an orgasm.

Surprisingly, he lets me have my orgasm. My ears ring and i can feel every single drop of blood that runs through my veins. All my senses were heightened as he fucks me through my orgasm. With my eyes closed, i feel a sharp pain in my chest.

I open my eyes to see he had stabbed me, a proud look on his face. I begin to bleed as he removes the knife from my chest. “Now you’ll be with me forever. Like i said,” he comments as i feel his cum fill me up.

He collapses on top of me, my blood coating his pale skin as i take my last breath.

And i was dead.

#james patrick march #plot twist #evan peters #what can you expect #hes crazy #and hot #fic #ahs #smut #obsessed with him #daily dose of james smut